Dec. 21, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:36:56
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Oh, hi. | ||
| We're up. | ||
| We're back, baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wee! | |
| Dude, isn't this like we're closing in on our anniversary? | ||
| Yeah, again. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Again. | ||
| It's the 31st, I think we did. | ||
| I think we did it on New Year's Day. | ||
| Or New Year's Eve, rather. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Christmas Eve. | |
| Christmas Eve? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Thank you, Jamie. | ||
| Christmas Eve of 2009. And here we are, 2022, and we're about to go into civil war, total anarchy, the purge, all the above. | ||
| Everyone's losing their mind. | ||
| Everyone's losing their fucking mind. | ||
| Did you see the breakout in the Zoom? | ||
| Did you see about that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| A bunch of chimps. | ||
| They broke free. | ||
| And they went wild. | ||
| And they gunned them down. | ||
| They gunned down, I think they gunned down three of them or four of them. | ||
| Insane things are happening. | ||
| How do you say that word? | ||
| Feruzic? | ||
| Where's Feruzic? | ||
| Let's check. | ||
| Germany? | ||
| Sounds like it, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sweden. | ||
| Sweden. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Wow, they're pretty peaceful over there. | ||
| They're gunning down chimps. | ||
| So it says, uh, insane things are happening at the Feruzic Zoo. | ||
| Four chimpanzees gunned down after a breakout. | ||
| And a fifth shot, but only wounded. | ||
| Three more on the loose. | ||
| Drones are used to survey the besieged zoo. | ||
| After 24-plus hours, the bodies still litter the ground. | ||
| Zoo says they were out of tranquilizers. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
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Bro. | |
| Fuck zoos. | ||
| Is there video of this? | ||
| Fuck zoos. | ||
| I told you about that time I got super duper high and I went to the zoo with my kids and I got really bummed out. | ||
| I wrote a story about it, about an animal prison. | ||
| Zoos are horrible. | ||
| They're horrible. | ||
| The only one who gets out of the zoo, I had that old bit about giraffes. | ||
| They're the only ones that seem to have a good day. | ||
|
unidentified
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They're like, another day with no lions. | |
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| They're happy to be in the zoo. | ||
| They have zero problems with the zoo. | ||
| No one's trying to kill them. | ||
| They just eat, and they're the only animals that they let babies feed them. | ||
| When my daughters were little, like, they could take a piece of, like, little tiny, you'd hold them, they'd hold a piece of lettuce out, and this giant giraffe tongue comes out, wraps around the leaf, and takes it from them. | ||
| And everybody laughs, and you never have to worry about giraffes being cunts. | ||
| I bet they're the majority of the animals like the zoo. | ||
| They don't give a shit. | ||
| Like giraffes. | ||
| Oh, we're getting fed? | ||
| I bet there's things like chimpanzees and certain animals that shouldn't be in a zoo. | ||
| But half the animals don't give a shit. | ||
| I think the big one with lions is they don't get to kill anything. | ||
| That's like if someone just extracted sperm from you and you never got to have sex your whole life. | ||
| It is weird. | ||
| That's their instinct, right? | ||
| They have a built-in survival instinct to chase things and kill things. | ||
| They're the cleanup crew. | ||
| They're the cleanup crew for the jungle. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| When something's slipping, something's not quick enough, the lines are there to keep the balance. | ||
| Otherwise, the deer would just overbreed. | ||
| All the antelopes, there'd be too many of them. | ||
| They need things to kill them. | ||
| So they have this insane desire to kill things. | ||
| And then when you just feed them meat, every day they're like, okay, I'll eat this, but I just want to fucking chase something! | ||
| They don't even have any room to move around. | ||
| Dude, I was coming home from a gig once. | ||
| Actually, I don't think it was a gig. | ||
| It couldn't have been because it was during the day. | ||
| But it was early days of my comedy career. | ||
| I was like 21 years old and I was in Massachusetts and I was driving home and I saw this little zoo on the side of the road. | ||
| Like, there's a direction to this little ass zoo. | ||
| So I said, alright, let me just, I got a little time to kill. | ||
| We'll check out this little zoo. | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
| There's this polar bear. | ||
| And he was in a room that was not much bigger than this fucking studio. | ||
| And he was just walking around in circles. | ||
| Just walking in circles like a crazy person. | ||
| I was like, oh no. | ||
| It was just so sad. | ||
| The polar bears are used to dealing with gigantic icebergs that they could walk on, frozen sheets of ice, these little ice islands, and they're killing seals and they're running around and they're just out there in the ocean and the open air and... | ||
| Now they're in this Massachusetts little box. | ||
| And it was the summer when I went there, too. | ||
| So it was hot as fuck. | ||
| And this poor polar bear is just wandering around in a circle. | ||
| It's like, oh, why are we doing that? | ||
| We know what they look like. | ||
| It's not like the old days before they had video, you know, where the only way you could see an animal was they had to capture it and bring it to the zoo. | ||
| We fucking know what a polar bear... | ||
| You don't have to go see them in jail for no reason. | ||
| They didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| They're not bad polar bears. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's fucked, man. | ||
| You've been at the zoo out here? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't want to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's probably the same shit. | ||
| Where's the best zoo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no Columbus. | ||
| Columbus, Ohio. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Jack Hannon. | ||
| All roads lead to Ohio. | ||
|
unidentified
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It is. | |
| It's the number one zoo, though. | ||
| That is San Diego. | ||
| But is it the best in terms of the treatment of the animals? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why they're number one. | ||
| Oh, well, that's... | ||
| I mean, I hope they do a little bit better job, but isn't that like the prison where Ghislaine Maxwell is, where you get to do yoga? | ||
| That lady doesn't want to be out there. | ||
| She wants to be out pimping! | ||
| They locked her up. | ||
| It's gonna be virtual zoos in the future. | ||
| That would be better. | ||
| It would be really better. | ||
| What would be better is, like, you use Oculus. | ||
| And they set up cameras where they go around these animals. | ||
| Maybe like with a drone or they take a cat and they put a camera on its head and it wanders around with the other cats. | ||
| And you get to be there in this wild way where you just like experience them existing. | ||
| That would be dope. | ||
| That would be really cool. | ||
| If they did the metaverse and they did... | ||
| You could go to places where there's a lot of trees and just put cameras all around the trees where the lions are. | ||
| And you could get the cameras where the lions are. | ||
| They would be able to find it out and send that one through the metaverse. | ||
| And you could be on the plains of Tanzania right now, just wandering around. | ||
| Yeah, they probably have that already for sure. | ||
| I hope they do. | ||
| That should be what a zoo is. | ||
| Especially as this stuff gets better and better and this virtual reality technology improves, there's no reason to keep these things captive like that. | ||
| There's one argument and that argument is conservation. | ||
| They're taking endangered species and then they're making sure that they have breeding populations. | ||
| There's a few animals that are really endangered and the zoo is one of the only ways they keep healthy populations of them. | ||
| But other than that, the fuck out of here. | ||
| Or injured animals. | ||
| A lot of them are like injured animals. | ||
| They can't go back in the wild. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it should be. | ||
| Like a large area where they can roam around and some sort of an animal rehabilitation center. | ||
| It shouldn't be. | ||
| Those little ass fucking cages. | ||
| Is there any video of the chimps? | ||
| I've been looking at it. | ||
| Just like of those before this incident. | ||
| Bro. | ||
|
unidentified
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I mean, that's just horrific. | |
| The whole thing is horrific. | ||
| It's really scary. | ||
| Imagine being like out there at the supermarket and you got your bags, you move into your car, and you see three chimps running away like, oh no! | ||
| They must fucking hate people. | ||
| They must fucking hate people. | ||
| How did they get out? | ||
| Did they figure it out? | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if they like picked a lock or something. | ||
| Could you imagine if they figured out how to pick locks? | ||
| Oh my god, we're fucked. | ||
| They got a stick and the other one's moving the stick. | ||
| Maybe they pay attention to the way they turn the key, and they're like, I heard a click in there, just like, that fucking click is the key. | ||
| Get that thing to click. | ||
| And at nighttime, when no one's around, they got sticks in there, and they're going in there. | ||
| There's some, I guess it would be anthropologists, that are speculating that some primates have moved into the Stone Age right now. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah, so if you think about the Stone Age with ancient primates who became people, that process is happening right now with chimpanzees and orangutans. | ||
| You ever see the photo of the orangutan that spear fishes? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| He's hanging onto a tree with one hand and he's got a stick with the other hand. | ||
| He's fucking stabbing at fish. | ||
|
unidentified
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Jeez. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They're so close to us. | ||
| They're just like a few million years away. | ||
| As opposed to a slug. | ||
| They're not figuring out shit. | ||
| But monkeys and chimps and all those primates, man, they're fucking thinking creatures. | ||
| They're calculating. | ||
| And when they get those neural links in them. | ||
| You've seen the ones with the monkeys that can use their mind? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, I mean, what would happen? | ||
| Like, legitimately what would happen? | ||
| So if this is the argument that chimpanzees are moving into the Stone Age, what if chimps really do continue to evolve alongside people and then all of a sudden they start talking? | ||
| Like, what... | ||
| How do we... | ||
| Do we give them a country? | ||
| Do we let them in the UN? You know, like, what are we talking, like, if a million years from now, if human beings are still around and chimpanzees have continued to evolve to the point where they start making clothes, they start killing antelopes and scraping the fat off of the skins and drying them out, wearing them as clothes and shit. | ||
| They start having rights. | ||
| You're allowed to marry them. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| Like, the same people that think you should be a cat. | ||
|
unidentified
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Like, I identify as a cat. | |
| I think a chimp should be... | ||
| You can marry a chimp. | ||
| He wants to marry you. | ||
| You want to marry him? | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| I mean, that's basically what that lady did in Connecticut. | ||
| You know, that lady that had a... | ||
| She had a chimpanzee and she was feeding it Xanax and drinking wine and sleeping in the same bed with it. | ||
| And then her friend came over and the chimp tore her friend apart. | ||
| Probably because her friend was cock-plucking. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| Don't you think? | ||
| That was the speculation was that that lady was banging that chimp. | ||
|
unidentified
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Because chimps probably have a big old dong. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't feel like I've ever seen a chimp dick. | ||
| If you're a lady and you're not getting any play from humans, and you got this chimp that lives with you, and this is a big-ass chimp too. | ||
| This is like a really well-fed chimp, so he's like... | ||
| I want to say he was close to 200 pounds. | ||
| He was fucking huge. | ||
| You ever see pictures of him with a diaper? | ||
| It's really confusing. | ||
| Because you don't know how to feel about that. | ||
| Like, on one hand, this lady loves this chick, but, you know, when it goes wrong, they don't know what the rules are. | ||
| They have no idea. | ||
| Like, laws? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| I'm going to bite your fingers off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a different one. | ||
| But that's a chimp hanging out with a kid, which is also quite sketch. | ||
| But that's a little baby chimp. | ||
| The one that that lady had, I think it tore her eyes out too. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| I think those are glass eyes. | ||
| If it's not her, definitely that's the other guy that got attacked who brought a birthday cake for a chimp that he used to have. | ||
| You know that story? | ||
| He used to have a chimp that they took care of and he got to a point where he was getting dangerous and they couldn't keep him anymore so they brought him to like a place. | ||
| Where they have chimpanzees and they brought him a birthday cake and the other chimps were furious that they didn't get a cake because chimps get really jealous and they got out and fucked that guy up. | ||
| Just tore him apart, tore his feet off. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Wasn't that in California right? | ||
| I don't know where that was. | ||
| But yeah, you can't do that to them. | ||
| You can't just keep them contained like that. | ||
| It's fucked. | ||
| It's not necessary. | ||
| I don't think there's a good argument for doing that. | ||
| The whole argument is that people get to look at them. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| That's it? | ||
| You know? | ||
| But there's parts of the world where their, you know, their habitat is being encroached upon, they're in danger. | ||
| So then there's that argument, right? | ||
| Like, maybe there should be a place where people protect them just in case they get to the point where, you know, they're on the verge of extinction, because that would fucking suck. | ||
| You know how devastating that would be to humans, to our psyche, of where we fit in the world if chimps went extinct? | ||
| I was like, how many chimps are there? | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| How many chimps are there in the world? | ||
| 100,000? | ||
| That's probably a good number. | ||
| With all the zoos, it might be a little higher. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm going to say 250. 250,000 chimps worldwide. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's probably not even an answer to this question. | ||
| You guys are right. | ||
| Are we right? | ||
| It says between 170,000 and 300,000 chimps currently live in the wild. | ||
| Damn, someone fucking nailed it. | ||
| It says wild, though. | ||
| In the wild. | ||
| And then zoos probably jacks it up a little bit. | ||
| How many chimps do you think are in zoos worldwide? | ||
| Let's take that guess. | ||
| 50,000? | ||
| Let's say 20,000. | ||
| That's a lot of countries. | ||
| Hundreds of countries. | ||
| But each zoo probably has what? | ||
| This is a dark... | ||
| Dark question. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Before we find the darkness, I do want to know. | ||
| I do want to know. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Let's just guess. | ||
| Every state. | ||
| I'm going to say 50,000. | ||
| James is making noises over there. | ||
| I'm way off. | ||
| It's a very low number and there's a reason why. | ||
| Okay, I may stick with my 20,000. | ||
| Okay, what's the number? | ||
| About 300. What? | ||
| In all the zoos in the world? | ||
| The remaining 1,700 were bred for inhumane medical research. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| They don't all go to zoos. | ||
| Like the movie 28 Days Later. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| When they give them that rage shit and they break out. | ||
| Zombie apocalypse. | ||
| Tell me they wouldn't do that. | ||
| Before COVID, nobody thought, well, this is a fun premise for a movie. | ||
| This could never happen. | ||
| I don't know how many. | ||
| As of 2015, this article says more than 730 remain in government or private research facilities. | ||
| Some 540, I believe, were released at this time. | ||
| That seems really low, though. | ||
| What's the option? | ||
| If you're not going to use chimps, what do you use? | ||
| Horrible people? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Mass murderers? | ||
| Prisoners? | ||
| Yeah, why aren't they? | ||
| School shooters? | ||
| Do you think people would sign off on that? | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| They probably wouldn't. | ||
| They'd probably say, no, you can kill them, but you can't practice medicine on them. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Can't put lipstick in their eyeballs and see what the root, you know, the shit they do with rabbits and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, but if you say to somebody and go, hey, instead of using animals for testing, this person is on death row, would you rather have that than killing an animal? | ||
| What, if you give them the option? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man, that's a fucked up option. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| I bet people would say the prisoner on death row. | ||
| Well, the problem is, like, the justice system sucks. | ||
| And there's a lot of people that are on death row that are 100% innocent. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| And so, like, a lot of people think the death penalty itself is inhumane. | ||
| In fact, the woman who's the governor of Oregon, she just commuted, I believe, 17 people that were on death row. | ||
| And if one of those is innocent, I support it. | ||
| You know, it's the most fucked up thing ever if like someone killed your loved one and they're on death row. | ||
| But what if they didn't? | ||
| And what if they're accused of it? | ||
| And then they wound up getting killed. | ||
| I mean, it's like the system is so bad. | ||
| And through the podcast that I've done with Josh Dubin, who he used to work with the Innocence Project. | ||
| Now he does a lot of different programs along the same lines, though, where it's trying to get people out of jail that are clearly innocent. | ||
| And prosecutors, man, there's a lot of good ones out there. | ||
| There's a lot of good people that are prosecutors, no doubt. | ||
| But there's also prosecutors that hide evidence. | ||
| They withhold evidence that would exonerate people. | ||
| They prosecute people they know are innocent. | ||
| They railroad people. | ||
| They keep people from being able to bring certain things up in trials. | ||
| And, you know, you find out later that they knew all along. | ||
| They had this guy, he was in the system, he was being tried, and they never want to say, hey, we fucked up. | ||
| So instead of saying, hey, we fucked up, they hide all the evidence that they fucked up. | ||
| Again, it's not all prosecutors, but it's enough that the death penalty itself is very questionable. | ||
| I'm digging through this. | ||
| In 1979, I found an article in Corrections Magazine, it says, that a few years ago, 85% of all drug testing was done in prisons. | ||
| Now it's down to 15%. | ||
| All drug testing? | ||
| As of right now, it's illegal in California and plenty of other places, too. | ||
| To drug test people in prison? | ||
| Correct. | ||
| It's also illegal to ask them if they have a penis. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Which is a little strange. | |
| A little strange. | ||
| I mean, I'm all for people being able to express themselves and live however they want. | ||
|
unidentified
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However... | |
| There was a story that I was reading, I think I sent you this too, Jamie, about this article that was talking about this woman that brutally murdered and raped this woman and about how unusual it is for a woman to brutally rape and murder another woman. | ||
| Well, it turns out it's not a woman. | ||
| It's a trans woman. | ||
| But they have to call it a woman. | ||
| So they're saying it's a woman. | ||
| So there's people that are phrasing it in this woke speak. | ||
| If you want to define what – because woke is hard to find. | ||
| People kind of know what it is. | ||
| They're like, oh, I fucking hate all this woke shit. | ||
| But what does that mean? | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| And when you ask people to define it, it does get a little squirrely. | ||
| It's like, oh, I didn't think about defining this. | ||
| It's just sort of a thing that I know. | ||
| And one of the things has to do with gender. | ||
| Because that's one of the biggest cultural changes over the last ten years. | ||
| But that one is bananas. | ||
| That they would phrase it that way. | ||
| That they would say, a woman. | ||
| No, it was his ex... | ||
| That was his ex-girlfriend that he killed. | ||
| That he murdered and raped. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He was a man at the time. | ||
| He was dating her. | ||
| Like, to say, it's so unusual for a woman to do that. | ||
| It's like, what kind of game are we playing? | ||
| Where you're talking about crime. | ||
| And like that person that went to jail and said he was a woman and started banging all the inmates and got two of them pregnant, that person brutally murdered his mother. | ||
| With a knife. | ||
| It's a horrible story. | ||
| The cops that came to the scene said it was one of the most horrific things they had ever seen. | ||
| Stabbed her from her face down to the bottom of her legs. | ||
| Just, you know, an incalculable number of stab wounds probably. | ||
| But you could say you're a woman, and all of a sudden you're in a woman's prison. | ||
| And then there's, like, all these people that, like, have created a website. | ||
| Like, get her out. | ||
| She's not supposed to be there. | ||
| Let her express the gender of her, you know, preference. | ||
| And, like, this is bananas. | ||
| Like, you guys are out of your fucking mind. | ||
| There has to be a birth sex on your future ID. So you have your sex, female, and then your birth sex, like a male or something like that. | ||
| Well, that would make sense, but none of this makes sense. | ||
| They would say, who is the doctor to tell you what your sex is? | ||
| Well, it used to be just gender, but now they're equating sex and gender, right? | ||
| So when that Rachel Levine person became the first female admiral, They were saying female. | ||
| They weren't just saying woman. | ||
| They were saying female, as in like X distinction in the chromosomes. | ||
| Like, listen, it's good to be kind to people. | ||
| It's good to be nice. | ||
| It's good to, like, I want you to be whoever you want to be. | ||
| Express yourself however I love you. | ||
| But what are we doing? | ||
| We're in this fucking squirrely lunatic category. | ||
| Somebody has a great fucking bit that Bill Burr sent me. | ||
| Let's blow this cat up. | ||
| I don't know this dude, but this bit is very funny. | ||
| I'll find it right here. | ||
| It's going around, Jamie. | ||
| Maybe you've seen it. | ||
| It's a comedian who says he's all for... | ||
| I'll send it. | ||
| I don't want to fuck it up. | ||
| Here, I'll send it to you, Jamie. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Give me one second. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Share. | ||
| Jamie. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| It's just, I get where it comes from. | ||
| I get that people want to let people feel free to be whoever they want. | ||
| But at the same time, it's like, at what cost to all the other people? | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's getting absurd. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| They're gonna have to have a separate jail just for, like, the in-betweens or something. | ||
| Pray this guy's things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here it goes. | |
| Derek Lenguenus. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Let me see it again, please. | ||
| Derek Lenguenus. | ||
| It's spelled D-E-R-I-C-K-L-E-N-G-W-E-N-U-S on Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
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Uh, trans women competing in women's sporting events. | |
| As long as I'm allowed to bet. | ||
| Yes, I would like to put all my money on the lady with the size 11 sneaker, please. | ||
| It's a great tune. - I've got a feeling about her. - Now, this is how squirrely the world's gotten. | ||
| There's people that will say that that's transphobic, that that bit is transphobic. | ||
| Because people want no criticism, and that's part of the problem. | ||
| You know, it's like what we were talking earlier about, like, what's going on in Twitter right now. | ||
| There's a lot of people that don't want any criticism. | ||
| People have opinions. | ||
| They just do. | ||
| You can't stop them. | ||
| You can't change their opinions. | ||
| You know, you can just be you. | ||
| You gotta be you. | ||
| But some people are just not good at it. | ||
| They're not good at it. | ||
| And as a group, if you've achieved protected status, like a lot of people, they feel like they categorize trans people in a protected class because they've been maligned and because they've been discriminated against. | ||
| Now they're in a superposition. | ||
| You know, like some quantum physics shit. | ||
| You can't even criticize them. | ||
| Even if they're murderers. | ||
| Even if they've brutally raped and murdered their ex-girlfriend, you still have to call them a woman. | ||
| Even if they were a man at the time, still it's a woman. | ||
| It's very rare for a woman to do this. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Is it also rare for a woman to have a dick? | ||
| Because what are we doing? | ||
| What the fuck are we doing? | ||
| But it's not anymore. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So, there we are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| I can't even imagine what the world's going to be like in 40 years. | ||
| How about five? | ||
| Five years? | ||
| Who would have thought this, that everything, like the Leah Thomas thing with swimming, who would have thought that that's like the number one female swimmer actually has a penis and supposedly has sex with women? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| Like, imagine if you're a girl and you work so hard to get a scholarship and, you know, you're born, you didn't go through puberty with male levels of testosterone. | ||
| Here's something that I found out the other day when we talked about this already, sorry, where James Cameron was saying that testosterone is a toxin that needs to be released from men's bodies. | ||
| Women have more testosterone than they have estrogen. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| Yeah, I just found out that recently. | ||
| I found out from Rob Wolf. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's their primary hormone. | ||
| And I have more estrogen than women. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| So you are the most healthy, unhealthy person I've ever met. | ||
| When you got your blood work done, I was like, huh. | ||
| He's going to be okay. | ||
| You've been telling me I am high on estrogen forever. | ||
| Like, you know, we made jokes about me eating too much adenami or stuff like this. | ||
| When I got my first blood work, when I first went to the tea place, they were like, wow, you got very low testosterone. | ||
| You're at 240, I think it was, 230. But your estrogen levels are some of the highest I've ever seen. | ||
| He's like, we got to keep an eye on that because that might be dangerous. | ||
| And I'm like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Told you. | |
| I smell it. | ||
| I can smell it, I think. | ||
| So I just got my six-week blood checked again. | ||
| My estrogen levels have actually gone up since last time. | ||
| I have so much T in me now. | ||
| I'm like super high in T, but I can't feel any of it because the estrogen is going against the T. So I have to take this. | ||
| How much are you committed to being healthy? | ||
| Sort of minimally committed, like a guy who plays golf once a month? | ||
| Well, as soon as I start getting energy, I'm for it. | ||
| But that's the whole problem. | ||
| Like right now, I mean, that's why I went to get my testosterone checked. | ||
| Because now, especially the last four years, I don't know if it's age or what, but I just, I wake up tired. | ||
| I have zero energy. | ||
| Bro, we're old. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| We talked about how we started this podcast in 2009. That's a long-ass time ago, dude. | ||
| We're getting 12 years from now, we're going to be like geriatrics. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know if you're a woman and you have a baby after 35, they consider you geriatric? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Why? | ||
| That's just the label they put on it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bridget Phetasy told me about that. | ||
| Because she got pregnant at, like, I think she was 41, I think, when she had her daughter. | ||
| And they said she was a geriatric mom. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| That's like one of them terms, maybe you shouldn't... | ||
| That hurts people's feelings. | ||
| It's like how they used to call kids with Down syndrome. | ||
| They used to refer to them as, like, mongoloid idiot on their birth certificate. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's not really for them. | ||
| Or their parents. | ||
| Like, jeez, the word idiot. | ||
| You know, fucking... | ||
| How about someone with a chromosomal disorder? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I saw a t-shirt that was from 1982 that was like, run for the retarded, and it was like an actual charity. | ||
| It was golf. | ||
| It was called swinging. | ||
| Oh, it was golf. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| Yeah, I saw the same shirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I'll pull it up. | ||
| Like, that's how they used to just refer to things. | ||
| I know another t-shirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure you know a bunch of t-shirts. | |
| Which one? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is like... | ||
| Look, man. | ||
| There's a lot of shit from not that long ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get in real trouble for them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And just watching old movies. | ||
| Like, they still talk. | ||
| You know, they talk. | ||
| You're like, holy shit, they just said that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, if you go watch old comedies from, like, the 90s. | ||
| Like, I tried to watch Superbad the other day. | ||
| Unfortunately, it wasn't the other day. | ||
| It was a while ago. | ||
| But I was trying to watch it with my kids. | ||
| And I realized, like, five minutes in. | ||
| Like, there's no fucking way a 12-year-old should be watching this. | ||
| I'm like, stop. | ||
| I paused. | ||
| I'm like, okay, we can't watch this. | ||
| Yeah, that's a dirty movie. | ||
| I didn't realize. | ||
| I forgot how fucking dirty it was. | ||
| I just remember it being really funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it was. | ||
| What was that, like 2007 or something? | ||
| Something like that, yeah. | ||
| When was Superbad? | ||
| Sounds right. | ||
| 2000, yeah. | ||
| Something like that? | ||
| That might have been the last of the great, over-the-top, fucked-up, hilarious movies that you could never make today. | ||
| That and Tropic Thunder. | ||
| Tropic Thunder. | ||
| I just re-watched that interview you had with him. | ||
| That's still amazing that you can still rent it. | ||
| That and Soul Man. | ||
| I saw that the other day. | ||
| You can still rent that. | ||
| I'm like, what the heck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When does that become a problem? | ||
| Because, you know, people will probably—I mean, they're already, you know, doing things like getting rid of certain books that have, like, fucked up language in it. | ||
| Like, they got rid of—I think it was Huckleberry Finn because it had the N-word in it, and they removed that from certain libraries. | ||
| Pixar's going in and editing parts out of their movies already because— Things and really yeah, there's a Yeah, there's Toy Story and the guy that plays Frasier He's like flirting creepily with the two Barbie girls and it's just like really scummy And they cut that out. | ||
| How about the Pepe Le Pew? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh Pepe Le Pew Pepe Le Pew was a rapist skunk, right? | |
| He was it was a groper. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| He was the total sexual harasser like he didn't take no for an answer ever Speedy Gonzales. | ||
| No, what did he do? | ||
| They just it's just like oh because the top Mexican, you know, there's a guy who put a Sombrero on and he went around all these people in their 30s and he says this offensive and And they're like, yes, it's very offensive. | ||
| And they're like, are you Mexican? | ||
| He's like, no, then it's offensive. | ||
| Like all these people said it's offensive. | ||
| And then he went to a Mexican neighborhood and he said, is this offensive? | ||
| They go, no, it looks good. | ||
| They liked it. | ||
| How is that offensive? | ||
| That's craziness. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's like, is it offensive if an Asian guy wears a cowboy hat? | ||
| Like, is that offensive? | ||
| Like, what's offensive? | ||
| Like, why is it offensive? | ||
| A sombrero is kind of a dope hat. | ||
| Yes, it's Mexican, but you're not, like, stealing it from the Mexicans. | ||
| You're not, like, claiming that you're Mexican. | ||
| You're just wearing a dope hat. | ||
| But some cool shit you're allowed to wear, right? | ||
| Like you could wear a jujitsu kimono, right? | ||
| You're not pretending you're from Japan. | ||
| You're wearing, you know, a dobok. | ||
| You're not pretending you're from Korea. | ||
| Why is that okay? | ||
| Yeah, I don't see that at all. | ||
| It's a hat. | ||
| It's a dope hat. | ||
| Big ol' crazy ass hat. | ||
| They sell those hats at gas stations, you know? | ||
| And they wore them to protect themselves from the fucking sun. | ||
| It's a fucking great invention, really. | ||
| Like, hey, I'm tired of getting cooked. | ||
| How about a shade? | ||
| Just carry it on your head. | ||
| Like an umbrella on your fucking head. | ||
| Sobreros are the shit. | ||
| Plus, whenever a fighter fights, a Mexican fighter, like when we went to see Canelo Alvarez fight Triple G, It was awesome because they had a mariachi band, a full mariachi band, and they came out and they played. | ||
| Whenever a Mexican fighter fights, they kind of have to have mariachi music, right? | ||
| They kind of do, right? | ||
| I mean, you're not going to see a Mexican fighter coming out to Slayer, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They kind of like a lot of Mexican fighters, particularly in boxing, they come out to that mariachi music, man, and everybody goes nuts. | ||
| They go nuts. | ||
| They were singing along to it. | ||
| It was fucking dope. | ||
| Seeing a Canelo fight where it's all Canelo's fans and you get to see in the person, in the flesh, and hearing them all singing to this song that you don't even know, it's pretty wild. | ||
| Speaking of Mexican, did you hear what happened to El Capadre in Los Angeles, the restaurant? | ||
| Did they get busted for selling coke? | ||
| No, something crazier. | ||
| I just guessed that, by the way. | ||
| I'm joking. | ||
| I mean, that's where Lindsay Lohan used to get it, allegedly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Allegedly? | |
| But no, supposedly there was a guy there with his boyfriend, and he's an actor. | ||
| And the manager came up to him and yelled at him saying, you're not allowed to kiss. | ||
| I guess they were kissing. | ||
| They had a kiss on the lips. | ||
| What? | ||
| And said, you're not allowed to do this here. | ||
| Actor claimed he was scolded for kissing his date. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In fucking L.A.? Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What? | ||
| Last night, El Capadro Echo Park, I was reprimanded by a manager for kissing another man at 6.30 p.m. | ||
| in the middle of our second drink. | ||
| That's usually when the kissing starts. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| Told, uh, this is a family restaurant and we don't allow that behavior here. | ||
| We will never be back. | ||
| I encourage you all to find another place, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| You should read what the manager said. | ||
| There's more to it. | ||
| Like, below this... | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I mean on that. | ||
| Did the manager respond? | ||
| Or is it his version of what the manager said? | ||
| It's more of what happened. | ||
| I guess they interviewed... | ||
| Other people? | ||
| No, they interviewed the guy more. | ||
| Like, that's just a tweet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Where the heck did it go? | ||
| I mean, it's hard to say, right? | ||
| He said he threw his hands in front of us and said, I don't care if you're the President of the United States. | ||
| We don't allow your behavior here. | ||
| Since the post went viral, El Compadre said in a statement below, the now-fired manager went against the restaurant's core values. | ||
| We have been in business for almost 50 years. | ||
| We accept, appreciate, and value every customer that walks through our doors, and this behavior will never be tolerated in our establishment, the restaurant said in part on social media. | ||
| We do believe El Compadre to be a family restaurant, and coming into our restaurant is like coming into our home. | ||
| In our home, we believe in love and equality and the fact that one of our employees made someone feel unsafe is not acceptable to us. | ||
| That's a good answer. | ||
| It's kind of fucked up if that's all they did is kiss each other. | ||
| But what if they were just jacking each other off and tonguing each other down? | ||
| I mean, it is El Capadre, too. | ||
| If you know what El Capadre is, it's like one of the biggest scum holes in the world. | ||
| It's great, by the way. | ||
| We should say it's great. | ||
| And the food's awesome. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I fucking love that place. | ||
| Every time I go to that place, I have a big smile. | ||
| Because half the time I was there, I was with Joey Diaz. | ||
| Because that was his spot. | ||
| He would go there. | ||
| He would start speaking Spanish to everybody. | ||
| Well, he was there for another reason. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was there for other reasons, too. | |
| But he was also there for the food. | ||
| The food was great. | ||
| That was the spot you would meet a lot of people after shows. | ||
| We'd go after shows. | ||
| We'd meet other comics. | ||
| The folks that were working the Laugh Factory and the Improv and shit. | ||
| It was fun, man. | ||
| That was one of the things that I miss about LA. It was like those kind of little hangouts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Remember Swingers? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| That was a great little spot. | ||
| Good late night food. | ||
| And there was that Mexican place on Beverly that was like that too that was open 24 hours. | ||
| Coyote? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That was the one with the great margaritas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a great spot, too. | ||
| And they closed down that one place we used to always go to in the hotel. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| In the... | ||
| What was that hotel? | ||
| Standard? | ||
| Standard, yeah. | ||
| That place was great. | ||
| You could get a real meal at, like, 1 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| Like, steak and salad, and it was great food. | ||
| That place was so weird. | ||
| I remember the first time I went there... | ||
| I don't remember what year it was, but it was early on. | ||
| I walked in there and I was in the lobby and there was a girl who was in a fish tank behind the managers and the front desk people just reading a book in her underwear. | ||
| I knew a girl that had that job. | ||
| It's the weirdest thing. | ||
| They're not supposed to interact with the people. | ||
| It's supposed to be like a voyeur type art piece. | ||
| So this girl is in her underwear and she's really cute. | ||
| And, you know, you're looking at her legs and her butt and she's just reading a book with like her feet up in the air on her stomach. | ||
| She's sitting there reading this book. | ||
| You're like, whoa, L.A. It really is like this. | ||
| When you come from somewhere else and you just get to LA and you see shit like that, you're like, oh my god, this is real. | ||
| There's been a few times where I've been in LA where I was like, oh, this is like the real Hollywood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I went to a party and they had baby lions there, baby tigers. | ||
| I was like, how the fuck is this possible? | ||
| Like, where did these tigers come from? | ||
| And you would just go in this room and you were allowed to pet the tigers and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Up in those Hollywood Hills and Beverly Hills and when all those really crazy people get together, there's real... | ||
| The stuff that you hear, it's real. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| When you see those Bryan Singer parties, where he has like a hundred boys in a fucking pool with red lights and everybody's partying. | ||
| You're like, Jesus. | ||
| This is what people think of when they think of Hollywood debauchery. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I miss it, but I don't miss it. | ||
| I miss stuff. | ||
| I missed it, but I went through it. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Took it all in. | ||
| You don't want to be in the sun all day long. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get a little sun, then go inside and cool off. | |
| It's like you're living your whole life in LA. I think it's bad for the psyche. | ||
| There's no weather. | ||
| Everyone's trying to get famous. | ||
| And you're dealing with these strange people. | ||
| I went to this bizarre party once in the Hollywood Hills with Chappelle. | ||
| We're hanging out at the store. | ||
| And we both did sets. | ||
| And then Dave's like, you want to go to this party with me? | ||
| I go, what is it? | ||
| And he's like, it's Naomi Campbell's birthday. | ||
| And I said, oh man, I fucking hate those things. | ||
| Oh, Joe, come on. | ||
| Come with me. | ||
| Let's have a good time. | ||
| We were high as fuck, too. | ||
| And so we go up to this party. | ||
| And we get on an elevator with Demi Moore. | ||
| And we're going up the side of this hill. | ||
| They have an outdoor elevator. | ||
| Like, you're standing on this elevator. | ||
| And it takes you up. | ||
| And Demi Moore is there. | ||
| And Lenny Kravitz is there. | ||
| And Naomi Campbell. | ||
| And Naomi Campbell is posing. | ||
| And there's, like, hundreds of photographers. | ||
| Like, not hundreds. | ||
| I'm lying. | ||
| Ten. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ten. | |
| You know, a lot. | ||
| Lights, like real ones. | ||
| And she's like posing, and she looks amazing. | ||
| And as you're going up the hill, there's a photograph of her, and it's like 30 feet tall, and it's naked. | ||
| It's a naked photograph of Naomi Campbell that they put on the side of this hill, the side of this building that's on this hill. | ||
| It's wild! | ||
| It's like a total Eyes Wide Shut party. | ||
| And we're there, and we're hanging out. | ||
| And I said to Dave, I'm like, this is crazy. | ||
| This is so bizarre. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, man, I never want to be that famous. | |
| I go, hey, motherfucker, you're the most famous person here. | ||
| Yeah, you're more famous. | ||
| And he goes, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I go, yeah, really. | |
| I don't think Dave thinks about that much, which is why he could be Dave. | ||
| You know, he just exists in this, like, cool zone of just being funny and writing better stand-up and getting up there and killing. | ||
| So, like, him there, the whole thing was so odd. | ||
| I met a bunch of cool people, though. | ||
| Lenny Kravitz is very cool. | ||
| A lot of those people, when they're around other famous people, they're super normal. | ||
| They're like, oh, you're just a person who just happened to get famous. | ||
| And now you're fucked. | ||
| Because you can't really just be. | ||
| You can't just really go places. | ||
| Everybody weirds out when they see you. | ||
| So they all get together and weird out together. | ||
| You know, it's a little bit of a prison of its own. | ||
| Did you ever meet Brad Pitt? | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| I'd like to, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he's probably pretty cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By all accounts, you know? | ||
| You know he's got that thing where he can't recognize faces? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that bizarre? | ||
| Imagine what that is? | ||
| Like, what is that? | ||
| Imagine not even knowing you had it, just thinking you're fucked. | ||
| Like, why is everybody so friendly? | ||
| I don't even know who the fuck anybody is. | ||
| You have to recognize people by the way they move and the noises they make. | ||
| And then when everybody else starts talking about faces, you're like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Faces? | |
| You recognize faces? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, imagine when you first find out you're colorblind. | ||
| Like, little kids don't know they're colorblind. | ||
| Probably takes a while. | ||
| You know? | ||
| How would you even know? | ||
| I guess, like, someone says, pick the red one. | ||
| And you're like, hmm? | ||
| Yeah, but wouldn't the red one still be, like, what you think red is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Right. | ||
| Well, that could be the case anyway, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, I think you're wearing a blue space suit. | ||
| This is red, dude. | ||
| But what is blue? | ||
| My daughter brought that up the other day, which is hilarious when a 14-year-old thinks about things like that for the first time. | ||
| Deep. | ||
| Yeah, she sounds like a stoner. | ||
| She's like, okay, I have red nails, but how do I know that you see red the way I see red? | ||
| I really don't. | ||
| It's just kind of guessing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which makes sense, right? | ||
| Because, like, food tastes so different to other people. | ||
| Like, some people love spicy food. | ||
| Some people hate it. | ||
| Some people love, like, really rich flavors like Indian cuisine. | ||
| Some people hate it. | ||
| Like, what are they tasting? | ||
| Is it like a nose? | ||
| Like, some people's noses work better. | ||
| Some people have better eyesight. | ||
| Maybe taste buds are different, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Some people just get, like, this, I just want mashed potatoes and gravy. | |
| That's all they want. | ||
| That's the only thing that tastes good to them. | ||
| There's people like that. | ||
| Baby food. | ||
| My wife's mom, you put pepper on her food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's like, oh, it's so spicy. | |
| Pepper? | ||
| Yeah, everything's spicy to that lady. | ||
| She's the best. | ||
| A lady couldn't eat vegetables at the sight of anything. | ||
| It wasn't really even vegetables. | ||
| It was any other food besides mashed potatoes and cheese. | ||
| She started vomiting, dry heaving. | ||
| She had to eat in the other room from her husband. | ||
| Couldn't even look at his food on his plate. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They watch, like, please try. | ||
| Come on, honey, try. | ||
| Like, this is like steak. | ||
| You gotta wonder if, like, maybe someone fucked with her when she was a kid. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, tried to get her to eat a bunch of stuff she didn't want to eat. | ||
| Like, Eddie Bravo had this bizarre thing about onions. | ||
| He fucking hated onions. | ||
| You have onions anywhere near him, he gets, fucking, I hate onions. | ||
| And I got to it, like, one day, like, what is this onion thing? | ||
| It's like, my father used to make me eat, like, everything, like, on my plate, and it was, like, onions. | ||
| I hated onions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He made me eat them, and now I fucking can't stand them. | |
| You could ruin a kid that way, you know? | ||
| Is there any food that you can't stand, like, you want to even try? | ||
| No, I have a pretty wide palate. | ||
| I like food. | ||
| I mean, there's food that doesn't agree with me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I love it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like pasta. | ||
| That's the big one. | ||
| Pasta does not agree. | ||
| I get a fat gut and I get distended. | ||
| I just look bloated. | ||
| I feel terrible. | ||
| But I love it when it's going down the hatch. | ||
| You always had that? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because I think I... I've always been a glutton, which is a problem. | ||
| It's not like I'm eating a little bit of pasta. | ||
| I have a problem with eating. | ||
| I've been trying to stop now. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not hungry anymore. | ||
| Stop eating. | ||
| But before, I would just keep going. | ||
| I wanted to be like, ugh. | ||
| That's what I wanted to feel. | ||
| I wanted to feel, ugh. | ||
| Just fucking stuffed which is a dumb thing you really shouldn't ever be that unless you're this is the only time you get to eat You know because you're a hunter-gatherer and they're like finally we found food I haven't eaten in days You're really not supposed to be stuffed Yeah, and I think, at least I grew up always thinking you wanted to get stuff. | ||
| That's when you got to the end of eating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Clean your plate! | ||
| Yeah, I think it's parents again. | ||
| Oh, well, they would get... | ||
| Well, you know, if you think parents grew up with parents that were in the Depression... | ||
| Which my parents grew up with my grandparents who they grew up during the depression. | ||
| Like my grandmother left like little coffee cans filled with money tucked away, squirreled away in little holes in the house. | ||
| And they found all this stuff like after she died. | ||
| They were like cleaning things up and they found like money that she had squirreled away. | ||
| Because they were always thinking that the banks were gonna fail and that they were in a real fear of starving to death. | ||
| We are so fucking spoiled. | ||
| So they went from starving and not knowing where your next meal was coming from to finally things turn around. | ||
| And then they raise kids. | ||
| And then they're raising kids that are growing up during the 60s. | ||
| And things are much, much better. | ||
| And then these kids have kids and they just do the same thing their parents taught them. | ||
| Clean your fucking plate. | ||
| You got to eat it all. | ||
| All of it. | ||
| You're not going to waste food in my house. | ||
| Like, oh, why'd you give me so much? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's your fault. | ||
| But everybody was happy that they could give people their fill, you know? | ||
| It's like there was this famine mentality, and then it was replaced with this just glutton mentality for some people. | ||
| You know, and if you grow up like that, you know, it's fucking hard to kick that thing in your head. | ||
| If you have, like, Italian family, oh my god. | ||
| My grandmother would stuff you. | ||
| She would stuff you. | ||
| She was always making big plates of lasagna. | ||
| She would make pasta on the kitchen table. | ||
| It was wild to watch. | ||
| She would throw the flour on and roll the fucking dough and cut the pasta and boil it. | ||
| It was sensational. | ||
| It was the best pasta you've ever had. | ||
| She'd make her sauce from tomatoes my grandfather grew in the garden. | ||
| She didn't fuck with anything from the store. | ||
| She got the least amount of shit she could get from the store, like flour. | ||
| And she's like, probably didn't even want the flour. | ||
| And she would do everything. | ||
| Everything was homemade. | ||
| The whole thing was homemade. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| They would buy bread from this place that had been selling bread for like who knows how many fucking years, 100 years or something. | ||
| They would walk in their neighborhood down to this Italian bakery every day and get a loaf of bread. | ||
| That was like a thing people did. | ||
| They'd meet there. | ||
| They'd talk shit. | ||
| They all talk Italian. | ||
| They go back, bring their bread, and just dip it in the pasta sauce. | ||
| Those fucking people, man, when they finally got food, they made filling food. | ||
| The Italians in particular that came to America, their food is different than the Italians in Italy. | ||
| The things that we think of as Italian food, like spaghetti and lasagna and meatballs and stuff like that, spaghetti with red sauce, with meatballs, they don't have that over there. | ||
| Grated cheese all over it and shit. | ||
| They don't have that over there. | ||
| It's like everything over there is like the pasta is much more consumable for whatever reason. | ||
| It doesn't fuck with your digestive system because of the different wheat they use. | ||
| But also the portions are smaller and it's a long process. | ||
| You sit down for a long meal. | ||
| People are drinking wine and enjoying themselves because they didn't go to America. | ||
| They weren't the wild motherfuckers that took that trip and took a chance and went across the ocean before they invented film. | ||
| You couldn't even see a video of what America looked like back then. | ||
| When did they start coming over here? | ||
| When did Italians start making their way over here? | ||
| It was probably the end of the 19th century, if I had to guess. | ||
| My grandparents came over here in the beginning of the 20th century. | ||
|
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It's like, man, we're so lucky we're living now. | |
| This is so much better time to live. | ||
| But kind of not. | ||
| You kind of want to go back to the 1900s. | ||
| I don't want to go back to that time. | ||
| I like it now. | ||
| I think I have a healthy perspective on what it's like to live in 2022. There's problems that we have that are very unique. | ||
| But I think every single generation, the generation that had the car, like all of a sudden you could drive everywhere. | ||
| The generation where they developed the printing press, like, oh my god, we're reading things? | ||
| Do you know what most books were when they first invented books? | ||
| You think of like, oh, they wrote knowledge down and this is how they, you know, wrote history and documented things for future generations. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's like How to Spot a Witch. | ||
| Those kind of books, they probably led to so many people killing people because they thought they were witches. | ||
| Like, it's stupid shit. | ||
| Because you think most of the people back then were not educated at all. | ||
| A lot of people probably couldn't read. | ||
| So when books finally came around and people started reading, you're dealing with people that are super unsophisticated, probably a lot of them, very superstitious. | ||
| They really believed in that kind of stuff. | ||
| I wonder if there's people against books when they came out. | ||
| They're teaching the devil! | ||
|
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100%. | |
| Always. | ||
| There was definitely people that were upset about the printing press. | ||
| They thought the printing press was going to fuck everything up and that books should be written. | ||
| Like a fucking feather. | ||
| A quill. | ||
| You know, an elegant handwriting. | ||
| You could just go back and look at the way they used to write. | ||
| Where all their letters were perfect. | ||
| They were all the same height and it was beautiful to look at. | ||
| Like if you look at the way I write my notes, I fucking have deteriorated. | ||
| Like we have completely regressed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They don't even teach cursive anymore in most schools. | ||
| My mom still writes me cursive letters, and I can't even, like, I've almost not been able to read half of the letter now, because I'm like, I don't remember how to read this. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Because when was the last time you read cursive? | ||
| One thing about cursive is that AI doesn't read cursive. | ||
| So if you want to talk shit on Instagram, make a post and put it in cursive, and then take a photo of that thing, and then post that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And that way it won't flag all your shit talking. | ||
| All the things that, like, there's certain words that get flagged, you know? | ||
| Yeah, I fuck around with AI a lot. | ||
| I use it all the time. | ||
| And you're not, you know, it flags certain things. | ||
| So you have to be really creative. | ||
| Instead of, like, a woman's breast, you got to be, like, you know, Victoria's Secret. | ||
| You have to, like, use all these words that, like, try to get her to have good boobs and stuff. | ||
| But then how do they do all those dirty ones? | ||
| Like, I've seen Joey Diaz with giant... | ||
| Yeah, well, there's a few that allow you to do dirty ones, but they're not usually as good as the legit ones. | ||
| The one I use, I pay like 30 bucks a month for. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That's more than Netflix, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah, but it's so much more fun. | ||
| It's addicting. | ||
| I'll just sit there and spend hours trying to make AI to make the perfect poster or something like that. | ||
| It's perfect for posters. | ||
| The illustrators are getting very upset. | ||
| People are very upset. | ||
| There's a guy who just made a children's book, and all the illustrations have been generated with AI, and people are super upset with him. | ||
| I was just looking. | ||
| There's a new game that Justin Roiland made. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| I'm trying to read if he used AI art or what exactly this says. | ||
| And people are mad at him? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| AI art? | ||
| Yeah, I've seen this game, but I didn't know it had anything to do with AI art. | ||
| It's something high, right? | ||
| It says, used controversial AI art for new shooters, let's say. | ||
| Isn't it interesting that it's all computer-generated images anyway, right? | ||
| It's not like people are... | ||
| Rick and Morty creator. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| This game is badass, man. | ||
| Look how dope it looks. | ||
| Rick and Mortar Creator use controversial AI art. | ||
| Voice acting in New Shooter. | ||
| Oh, and voice acting. | ||
| AI voice acting. | ||
| It's a machine learning algorithm to create poster art and even a vocal performance. | ||
| Well, listen, why is that bad? | ||
| I don't understand how that's bad. | ||
| Yeah, I don't either. | ||
| This idea that you're putting people out of work? | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| But that's also the case with autonomous trucks. | ||
| Should we not have autonomous trucks that never crash, or should we let truckers get high on meth and drive across the country? | ||
| Which they don't anymore, I should just say. | ||
| They actually limit the amount of time that they're allowed to be behind the wheel, where they used to just fucking meth up and let's go, and they make it across the whole country in a day. | ||
| They're not allowed to do that anymore. | ||
| I see why artists are pissed, though. | ||
| Not because they're going to lose their job, which they definitely are, because it's amazing about AI. But AI takes from other artists, like a style of an artist. | ||
| So you can see other people's work in the AI. AI is using their kind of style. | ||
| So I see that. | ||
| It's kind of like... | ||
| Copying and just changing little things. | ||
| I posted some of that the other day from Alex Gray. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Look, I love dearly. | ||
| I've had Alex on the podcast before. | ||
| I think his art is amazing. | ||
| But this stuff is incredible. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| Go one more to the right of that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| These are insane, man. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| Look how gorgeous that is. | ||
| And that's done in Alex Gray's style. | ||
| And a lot of people don't like it. | ||
| They're upset with it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| That's fucking beautiful. | ||
| Even how like one eye is different than the other eye. | ||
| One eye is kind of droopy. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That is amazing. | ||
| Anyone that says that's not beautiful because it wasn't totally done by the hand of a man or a woman or a non-binary person? | ||
|
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Look at that. | |
| That's incredible, man. | ||
| Look at this, where the skulls go into the mushroom. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| That is fucking beautiful. | ||
| And it is created by a person because a person had to program this thing. | ||
| Is it the same? | ||
| Do I value it the same? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because what I value from a piece of art is that someone created it. | ||
| There's a thing about it, but it's a different thing. | ||
| I still think that's beautiful. | ||
| When I see a video game that uses that new Unreal Engine that's incredible, I don't get upset that someone didn't paint that. | ||
| I don't get upset that someone didn't create the textures all on their own. | ||
| I just look at it and say, that's beautiful. | ||
| But is it the same as someone doing an amazing animation that they drew by hand, like the old Mickey Mouse days? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, those are different things, but just because someone can do it better now with technology doesn't mean it's bad. | ||
| Fuck AI art. | ||
| Okay, but isn't it gorgeous? | ||
| I get what people are saying, that you're taking someone's style, but I think human beings are still going to make the distinction of something being gorgeous. | ||
| Like, that a person makes. | ||
| Like, a person does it with their hand. | ||
| They're gonna like that more, always. | ||
| I just did Joe Rogan in the style of Alex Gray. | ||
| That quickly? | ||
| There's a voice changer that I've used to make my voice sound like yours. | ||
| Have you seen that yet? | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| I saw one where they had me doing a podcast with Steve Jobs. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It is so crazy. | ||
| And it's just a matter of time before that's just available to everyone. | ||
| Everyone uses it. | ||
| You like a girl. | ||
| You have a video where she says, Brian, I love you. | ||
| And you send it to her. | ||
| And she's like, what the fuck? | ||
| I never said this. | ||
|
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|
You know? | |
| What is this? | ||
| Is this fake? | ||
|
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|
In contemporary terms, it is not. | |
| What if I were to tell you that I'm not even a human being? | ||
| Would you believe me? | ||
| What is your perception of reality? | ||
| Is it the ability to capture, process and make sense of the information our senses receive? | ||
| If you can see, hear, taste or smell something, Does that make it real? | ||
| Oh my god, this is incredible. | ||
| So this guy is this bald dude who's a white guy on the bottom. | ||
| And there's a Morgan Freeman that's artificially generated that's above him that's saying the words that he's saying in Morgan Freeman's voice. | ||
| And it looks flawless. | ||
| In real time. | ||
| He's talking in real time. | ||
| Is it definitely in real time or is it edited together? | ||
| That's him right there doing it exactly. | ||
| He might have edited himself back in to make this video. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he was recording his voice probably in real time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then it's generating that in real time. | ||
| But he might have done a little bit of extra work to make this all happen and make it look so unbelievable. | ||
| But as processing power gets better, the fact that they can do that in real time, it just shows you how amazing the processing power is. | ||
| Like, if it gets better and better than that... | ||
| They'll be able to not just do a person's face with a black background, but like a complex imagery in the background. | ||
| Like that person could be on the moon. | ||
| That person could be in Antarctica. | ||
| And then you mix robot with that realistic robot. | ||
| So like the robot that Elon's making. | ||
| And then you put like a fake skin on him. | ||
| And then real time, that could be a robot Joe Rogan. | ||
|
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And voice-wise, that's coming for sure. | |
| For sure, everyone's going to have Scarlett Johansson in their house. | ||
| Their maid is going to be a robot that looks like... | ||
| What's that lady from Modern Family? | ||
| Bombshell lady? | ||
| Sofia Vergara. | ||
| Sofia Vergara. | ||
| You're going to have Sofia Vergara cooking food in your house and greeting everybody at the front door. | ||
| And you're like, what? | ||
| There's like three of her in your house? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| If you go to Bill Gates' house, there's just all these super hot robots. | ||
|
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|
all with rusted crotches that's the first thing that In the old cars, the brakes didn't work that good. | |
| These robots, they rust up. | ||
| You can't come in them. | ||
| You can have sex with them, but you gotta pull out because something happens. | ||
| There's a lot of corrosive aspects to you, Jizz. | ||
| Does your robot have Crust Roch? | ||
|
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|
Crust Roch. | |
| Crotch Roch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I knew what you were saying, but... | |
| Crust Roch should be the name of your band. | ||
| Crust Roch. | ||
| Dude, you see Crest Rodge last night? | ||
| Bro, they fucking slayed. | ||
| They'd be one of them hardcore bands who, like, fucking jumps around, just leaps into the audience. | ||
| Boy, that's some shit that I've never experienced live. | ||
| Like, those hardcore bands, like the Cro-Mags or something. | ||
| I've never experienced that live. | ||
| Like, it must be insane when they're just fucking screaming and just jumping into the audience and shit. | ||
| Being in the pit or being in the mosh pit. | ||
| You know who loves that stuff? | ||
| Chappelle Lacey. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He fucking sings that shit. | ||
| Yeah, he's in a band that does that. | ||
| Yeah, Joel Berg's in it also. | ||
| And it's nonsense. | ||
| You would never think that, right? | ||
| Well, my friend Ray, who's been on the podcast before, Yoga Ray, we used to call him from Jiu Jitsu. | ||
| He was the lead singer of Youth of Today. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Youth of Today. | ||
| What is his... | ||
| He changed... | ||
| He has a yoga name now. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I'll tell you what it is. | ||
| He's a great guy, by the way. | ||
| I fucking love him to death. | ||
| He's such a cool guy. | ||
| He's such an interesting... | ||
| He's always been an interesting guy. | ||
|
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|
But... | |
| Okay. | ||
| I'm trying to... | ||
| Raghunath. | ||
| R-A-G-H-U-N-A-T-H. Raghunath? | ||
| Yoga. | ||
| Yeah, so that's, his name is Ray, Ray Kapo. | ||
| But we always used to call him Yoga Ray. | ||
| But anyway, Yoga Ray is like this super peaceful guy who's like this amazing yogi, teaches yoga. | ||
| He was in a hardcore band. | ||
| Like the hardest of hardcore. | ||
| Shelter? | ||
| He was in that too. | ||
| But he was in Youth of Today. | ||
| If you find Youth of Today video, find a video of their concert. | ||
| Ray Kapo, Youth of Today. | ||
| And that kind of music is like, tape your ankles up. | ||
| Did you say he was an ex-monk? | ||
| Oh yeah, he was a monk. | ||
| He's a fascinating person. | ||
| Like really, really, and he's the real deal. | ||
| That's them back then. | ||
| See if you can find a video. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's not going to be a very good video. | ||
| The Cher's funny story. | ||
| I think that was the story that he told from the... | ||
| Yeah, that's fine. | ||
| I think that was the story he... | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| 1988. This is a terrible video. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But let's listen to it. | ||
| Is this shelter or is this youth of... | ||
| Yeah, youth of today. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| They don't have any volume. | ||
| It's going to be a shitty audience here. | ||
| Well, get it so where they're actually singing. | ||
| Push ahead here. | ||
| Look at him, just bouncing around. | ||
| This is 88, dude. | ||
| Now, would you ever imagine that this guy jumping around screaming would be a yogi? | ||
|
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No. | |
| Because people are complex, Brian Redman. | ||
| There he is. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| He's a real deal. | ||
| Real deal. | ||
| Really good guy. | ||
| Sweetheart of a person. | ||
| And really good at jujitsu. | ||
| But his jiu-jitsu was very odd because he had so much leg dexterity from jiu-jitsu and he was so flexible. | ||
| His legs were all over the place. | ||
| He couldn't get past his legs. | ||
| His legs were arms. | ||
| He had extra arms. | ||
| He could just wrap you up and grab you and shit with his legs. | ||
| It's crazy how big jiu-jitsu has become. | ||
| Females are doing jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You know, Justine, she does jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Maybe that's your pathway to health. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| I'm too old for that, man. | ||
| I don't want to fuck my knees already fucked up. | ||
| I don't want it. | ||
| Did you ever find out what's wrong with your knee? | ||
| That trick knee that just pops out? | ||
| Every six years it happens. | ||
| I'm not looking forward to having it again, man. | ||
| What did you get an MRI? I did all of it. | ||
| There's really nothing you can... | ||
| What did they say? | ||
| I don't remember, but it's just going to happen over and over and over again. | ||
| I probably could get some kind of surgery, but if it happens every six years, that's fine. | ||
| Maybe get some stem cells in there. | ||
| That's probably what I need to do for sure. | ||
| But you don't know what the injury is. | ||
| It's just a, what is it? | ||
| Loose cap? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Loose cap? | |
| Maybe just your knee needs exercise. | ||
| It's like some knees over toes guy shit. | ||
| Yeah, I was supposed to go to a lot of physical therapy and build it up the knee muscle. | ||
| You were supposed to. | ||
| Fuck that shit. | ||
| Hey, physical therapy's the worst. | ||
| Well, you know, it's necessary, right? | ||
|
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|
Right. | |
| You get an injury, they help you rehabilitate it. | ||
| I went to it once. | ||
| It's just like, alright, now sit on this bed and I just want you to bend. | ||
| We're going to do this 200 times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why am I paying for this? | ||
| No, get out of here. | ||
| Because they're trying to get you healthy, buddy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't want that. | |
| What do you want them to do? | ||
| You put electrodes on it and just zap it and make it right? | ||
| Put some stem cells in there. | ||
| How often do you work out? | ||
| I don't right now. | ||
| At all? | ||
| Zero? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Probably should do a little, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe just walk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'd do that. | ||
| Yeah, but like walk around your neighborhood. | ||
| Yeah, I'd do that. | ||
| Like walk the dogs and stuff like that. | ||
|
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|
There you go. | |
| That's something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's definitely better than nothing. | ||
| Walking is one of the best ways to burn fat, too. | ||
| People go on long walks, like slow, steady walk. | ||
| Like a lot of guys that are trying to get ripped, they'll spend like an hour and a half every day just walking. | ||
| It's like a slow, fat burn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Guys are trying to get ripped. | ||
| My neighborhood has bobcats in it, though, so I don't like walking my dog right now. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| There's a whole family, and there's four of them, five of them, and... | ||
| They probably wouldn't try to snatch your dog. | ||
| Coyotes would, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see that video of the coyote trying to snatch that kid in Woodland Hills? | ||
| Yeah, they ended up finding it and killing it. | ||
| That poor little baby has to get rabies shots and shit like that. | ||
| Yeah, it's horrible. | ||
| Yeah, because she actually got bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It probably didn't have rabies, though. | ||
| It was just acting like a predator. | ||
| You see the raccoon? | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| That raccoon probably did have rabies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that nuts that there's a disease, just like that rage thing from Planet of the Apes, there's a disease that makes you aggressive so that you can give it to someone else. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you bite them and then they have it. | ||
| And it's fatal to people. | ||
| Like, 99% of the time when people get rabies, they're dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you don't get shots right after you get bitten, you're fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ooh, rabid raccoon found in Chartwood community of Saverna Park. | ||
| Look at that face. | ||
|
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Jesus. | |
| But meanwhile, some people have them as pets, and they're cool as fuck. | ||
| Look at his little face, though. | ||
| Rackons are cool. | ||
| They are cool, but imagine if they were huge. | ||
| Imagine if a raccoon, because it's kind of like a bear. | ||
| I mean, look at that. | ||
| Go to that photo to the far left. | ||
| Now, imagine that's 1,200 pounds and running around the woods like a bear. | ||
| You know, like a big-ass coastal brown bear in Alaska. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| They're just as scary as a bear. | ||
| But then he's adorable! | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| He's adorable in that picture. | ||
| Are they related to bears? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| They look like, what is that, Asian red bear? | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Koala? | ||
| Panda? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Red panda. | ||
| Oh, there's a red panda? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What family of animal are they? | ||
| Red panda, real quick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, cutie. | |
| What a little cutie. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| Did you ever see them have sex? | ||
| I would. | ||
| Pandas? | ||
| They're ruthless. | ||
| Where do you go to get that sex shit? | ||
| Reddit. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| What family are they in? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Would it be a genus? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Is that what we want? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But why don't you just Google, are raccoons related to bears? | ||
| And it'll tell you, no, they're related to this. | ||
| They are raccoons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Let's just see, are raccoons related to bears? | ||
| Wow, they only live two to three years. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Probably rough tumble life out there eating out of garbage cans. | ||
| Raccoons and bears belong in the same clade of carnivorous mammals, but they're not small bears. | ||
| Their physique is similar to that of a bear, and they're both predators, but the similarity is only due to their adaptation to a comparable way of life. | ||
| I don't know why I struggle with comparable. | ||
| So they're in the same clade of carnivorous mammals. | ||
|
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|
Hmm. | |
| What's the closest relative to a raccoon? | ||
| A red panda is considered a distant cousin. | ||
| Ah, look at that! | ||
| See what it says, what's the closest relative? | ||
| Ring-tailed cats. | ||
| Oh, I saw one of those the other day in Texas. | ||
| They're cool looking, man. | ||
| I was running across the road. | ||
| I'm like, wow, look at that. | ||
| Animals are fucking cool, man. | ||
| It's cool to be around them and see them and shit. | ||
| Except bunny rabbits. | ||
| I fucking hate bunny rabbits. | ||
| How was Avatar? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You said it was good. | |
| Why are all these people saying it's bad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have bad taste and like weird stuff. | |
| I have a friend that works in Hollywood. | ||
| He does CGI for movies and stuff like that. | ||
| And he got to see an early screening of it. | ||
| And he said the audience he was with, everyone was bored out of their mind. | ||
| People were walking out. | ||
| He said he hated it. | ||
| And I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| And then another friend of mine has seen it twice. | ||
| And he's like, this is great. | ||
| I don't know what to believe now. | ||
| Was your friend in Hollywood that hated it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's some things you're supposed to hate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I just want to see it. | ||
| But it sucks I have to go to the movie theater because I have to see the 3D on that one, right? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I don't think you have to. | ||
| Yeah, you do. | ||
| Why would you not? | ||
| Remember how good the 3D was, though? | ||
| That's what half of it is. | ||
| It's a 3D experience. | ||
| Otherwise, you're just watching stuff happen. | ||
| The story is not good enough without 3D. It was like the first one. | ||
| It was a pretty vanilla story. | ||
| I love the first story, though. | ||
| It had a bunch of cool shit to see. | ||
| I mean, it was definitely a derivative story, right? | ||
| It was like Pocahontas, they called it. | ||
| There's just multiple times in the movie I'm watching and I'm like, I can't believe all of this is fake. | ||
| This is all CGI. None of this was real. | ||
| In the new one? | ||
| Yeah, just like, they didn't go to a planet and film it in water. | ||
| It's like, this is all fake shit. | ||
| Now, did you see it in like 4D or any of the crazy stuff? | ||
| No, I saw that there's like a MX4D thing and there is a 48 frames per second version, like a high speed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh, what? | |
| I don't know what makes that different. | ||
| I don't know if they're even showing that in Austin. | ||
| In LA I looked, you can definitely see that multiple places in LA. Wow. | ||
| They did film a lot of it underwater because they said Kate Winslet held her breath for seven minutes. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| She's really good at holding her breath. | ||
| I think it's a mental thing. | ||
| I think, you know, my friend Remy Warren, he did the show a while back. | ||
| It was called Apex Predator. | ||
| And he would learn about all these different predators and what skill set they used to try to hunt their prey. | ||
| And in one of them, they were doing octopuses or octopi. | ||
| And they were doing some stuff in the water. | ||
| And he had to try to hold his breath for as long as he could. | ||
| And they taught him how to do it. | ||
| And the first time he did it, he did it for normal people, like two minutes. | ||
| But there's these techniques that you can use and they'll let you know that this is like a panic response. | ||
| You don't really need to come up out of the water right now. | ||
| And if you learn to stay calm, you can stay in the water far longer than you think you can. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Avatar star Kate Winslet thought she died breaking Tom Cruise's record. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think Sigourney Weaver did it too. | ||
| And Sigourney Weaver is in her 70s. | ||
| Seven minutes and 15 seconds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And Cruise's record for Mission Impossible Rogue Nation was six minutes. | ||
| Try harder, Tom. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| She had a video of her surfacing saying, am I dead, have I died? | ||
| And then going, what was my time? | ||
| She shared. | ||
| She said I couldn't believe it. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I wonder if you had a clock down there, you could do it longer. | ||
| Why did she have to do it though? | ||
| Just for the special effect of her like floating or something like that? | ||
| I don't think there's a special effect. | ||
| I think there's a lot of times where they're filming stuff actually underwater. | ||
| And the more time you could hold your breath, the more time you could be underwater. | ||
| So she's doing this. | ||
| So she's doing stuff where she's actually underwater. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| But whatever character she is, it doesn't look like Kate Winslet. | ||
| I couldn't tell that was her. | ||
| I had to look afterwards and be like, holy shit, Kate Winslet. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I mean, I guess if you're looking real hard, you can tell. | ||
| But is she like an avatar creature? | ||
| Oh, that's interesting. | ||
| So they did with Sigourney Weaver. | ||
| This is almost, which, spoiler alert, this isn't a spoiler. | ||
| It's like all avatars. | ||
| There's very few humans in the movie. | ||
| But isn't the bad guy back? | ||
| How do they get him back? | ||
| I'm not talking about that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| See the movie. | ||
| Is Fleshlight making a new Avatar Fleshlight? | ||
| Remember the Avatar Fleshlight? | ||
| That was my favorite. | ||
| So Avatar was 2009. Think about how much better the CGI has gotten. | ||
| And Avatar 1 was fucking dope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But how much better is the CGI now? | ||
| I want to see it. | ||
| I want to see it this weekend maybe. | ||
| You're going to have to just buckle up and go to the movies. | ||
| Did you go to IMAX? Yeah, it wasn't technically an IMAX screen, but I've looked around Austin. | ||
| There's not... | ||
| There is one I've seen, which is like on the Texas Campus Theater. | ||
| It is like a legit, gigantic, huge, real IMAX screen. | ||
| But the rest of it, it's tough. | ||
| Yeah, I live next to one of those XD ones where the whole... | ||
| Things moving and shit. | ||
| I'll never do that again. | ||
| Haptic feedback? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| After a while, it was so fucking annoying. | ||
| You're just like, stop. | ||
| And then it's scary, too, because if something pops out, the whole seat is going to go boom like that. | ||
| It almost gives you a heart attack. | ||
| You think you just got hit by something. | ||
| Imagine if you were doing that, but you were doing that for like some kind of fucking crazy racing movie and the seats go side to side when you're doing it. | ||
| That's how it was. | ||
| I saw that stupid Lightyear movie. | ||
| And so during flying things and stuff like that. | ||
| What is Lightyear? | ||
| The Pixar movie, the one with Buzz Lightyear. | ||
| Oh, that's the one where they replaced Tim Allen because he believes in Jesus. | ||
| Why'd they get rid of Tim Allen? | ||
| That is the weirdest thing that they did that. | ||
| Why did they do that? | ||
| They did it because of his political beliefs? | ||
| I think they did it for the price. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Clever, Brian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, you might be right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right? | |
| What a good way to force him out and get a little money on the budget. | ||
| Yeah, and it's not like... | ||
| I mean, he played a younger version or a different version of him. | ||
| You know, like where Tim Allen played the toy of the character. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so that's why I think they also did it because it's not supposed to be the same person. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So it's, you know, it's just going to be like a version of that person. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That movie sucked. | ||
| I mean, also with this Tim Allen thing, excuse me, with this Morgan Freeman thing, rather, I wonder if they could do the Tim Allen thing with that. | ||
| They don't even need you anymore. | ||
| Oh, that's what I told you. | ||
| They did that with Bruce Willis because he lost a way to can't talk. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So they've deepfaked him into at least one commercial so far. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He signed off all his likes and stuff. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| He can't talk. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| How do we fix Bruce Willis? | ||
| I know. | ||
| I used to love that dude from Moonlighting. | ||
| I loved that show. | ||
| Oh, Moonlighting and Die Hard. | ||
| That was back in the day when you couldn't record things. | ||
| You had to be there when it happened, whatever night it was on. | ||
| Yeah, this is not Bruce Willis. | ||
| See what it says? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's an authorized deepfake and this is in where? | ||
| Russian? | ||
| Yeah, it says Russian deepfake for him, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| They've been doing that with Biden for the last four months. | ||
| People thought that Trump NFT thing was fake for three days. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| No, he's really jacked like that. | ||
| Have you watched that commercial yet? | ||
| Bro, how crazy is he? | ||
| How crazy is he? | ||
| That is the funny shit. | ||
| Your favorite president, better than Washington, better than Lincoln. | ||
| Play that, because it's so ridiculous. | ||
| And this was like a big announcement. | ||
| Sold out. | ||
| It's sold out. | ||
| He's holding the Statue of Liberty torch in one of the pictures. | ||
| That makes me so sad. | ||
| Those Trumpers, man, they fucking love him like he's the Dallas Cowboys. | ||
| You know, it's like they're just loyal to the team. | ||
| It's like us against them. | ||
| That's what they've, you know, there's a certain type of person in this country that feels unrepresented, you know? | ||
| That is so funny, though. | ||
| Here's the website. | ||
| I'm trying to get to the official. | ||
| Wow, just look at it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoever... | |
| It's just ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Play it. | |
| I can't believe this is real. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| Hello everyone, this is Donald Trump, hopefully your favorite president of all time, better than Lincoln, better than Washington, with an important announcement to make. | ||
| I'm doing my first official Donald J. Trump NFT collection right here and right now. | ||
| They're called Trump Digital Trading Cards. | ||
| These cards feature some of the really incredible artwork pertaining to my life and my career. | ||
| It's been very exciting. | ||
| You can collect your Trump digital cards just like a baseball card or other collectibles. | ||
| Here's one of the best parts. | ||
| Each card comes with an automatic chance to win amazing prizes like dinner with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if that's an amazing prize, but it's what we have. | |
| Or golf with you and a group of your friends at one of my beautiful golf courses and they are beautiful. | ||
| I'm also doing Zoom calls, a one-on-one meeting, autographing memorabilia, and so much more. | ||
| We're doing a lot. | ||
| My official Trump digital trading cards are $99, which doesn't sound like very much for what you're getting. | ||
| Buy one and you will join a very exclusive community. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's my community, and I think it's something you're going to like, and you're going to like it a lot. | |
| They also make perfect gifts. | ||
| So you can buy them with your credit card or crypto. | ||
| All you need is an email address. | ||
| Go to collecttrumpcards.com. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay, I get it. | ||
| If you bought 45 of them, you got invited to dinner. | ||
| Just imagine saying that. | ||
| You bought 45 of them? | ||
| That's all it takes to go to dinner with them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or you just got to know Kanye. | ||
| Max was $100 you could buy. | ||
| $45,000? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Or no, $4,500. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Dinner? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would have done that. | ||
| It was like a big dinner. | ||
| It wasn't a personal dinner. | ||
| It was a big celebration. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, he's at a table behind a bulletproof glass. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm the best. | ||
| Your favorite dinner guest of all time. | ||
| It's just like an Applebee's. | ||
| You buy 45, you're guaranteed a ticket to dinner with the president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| You're guaranteed a ticket to dinner with the president. | ||
| Oh my god, can you look at the fine print? | ||
| Does it say, like, you'll be with, you know... | ||
| What if your next con... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a virtual dinner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a Zoom dinner. | ||
| He's eating Kentucky Fried Chicken on his plane. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I like how you're going to be in an exclusive club and they show a helicopter. | ||
| Meanwhile, you just have an email with a photo in it. | ||
| This is my helicopter. | ||
| It's the best helicopter. | ||
| No one's had a better helicopter. | ||
| Better than Lincoln's. | ||
| Lincoln didn't have a helicopter. | ||
| Lincoln had a stupid fucking horse. | ||
| Why did he also say that? | ||
| Better than Lincoln? | ||
| Definitely better than Washington. | ||
| Listen, man, he's leaning all in. | ||
| He's going full pro wrestling. | ||
| Half of me wants to see that happen again. | ||
| It's going to happen. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Yeah, so once they put him in jail, it's going to happen. | ||
| And it looks like Biden's going to run against him, as they've been saying. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| When and where is this Mar-a-Lago cocktail hour? | ||
| The location will be at one hour. | ||
| They fucking gun everyone in the room down. | ||
| We will give you at least 30 days notice to plan your trip. | ||
| All costs and expenses associated with live events made available to digital trading cards owners, including, but not limited to, all federal, state, and local taxes, air and ground, transportation, activities, airline, luggage, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Black tie is optional. | ||
| Optional. | ||
| You can wear a red tie. | ||
| It would be in South Florida. | ||
| South Florida. | ||
| We will give you at least 30 days notice to plan your trip. | ||
| All costs and expenses associated with the live event. | ||
| But not limited to. | ||
| Oh, so they pay for everything. | ||
| They fly you in. | ||
| They pay for everything. | ||
| You don't have to tip anybody. | ||
| You get upgrades. | ||
| Doesn't it say that? | ||
| All costs and expenses. | ||
| But not limited to. | ||
| Available to, but not limited to. | ||
| All federal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think they pay all your taxes on it. | ||
| They're the sole and exclusive responsibility of those that attend the gala. | ||
| Wait. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Travel expenses are the sole and exclusive responsibility of those that attend... | ||
| Oh, so there's a MISC... Miscellaneous. | ||
| I confuse the period in miscellaneous because they didn't say miscellaneous. | ||
| They just said misc with a period at the end of it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's read that again. | ||
| It says, So it's the opposite of what I thought it was. | ||
| You have to pay for everything. | ||
| So you have to pay taxes, you have to pay for your transportation, you have to pay for tips, airline, luggage, incidentals, upgrade, everything. | ||
| Insurance. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| When is the Zoom call? | ||
| How do we get involved? | ||
| You know he's got regular sized hands. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| Yeah, shook his hand. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He came to the UFC. He was behind us and came up to us, put his hand on my shoulder, and I looked up and it's fucking Donald Trump. | ||
| No. | ||
| Pulled my head out and I think this is nice to meet you. | ||
| Shook his hand. | ||
| Regular fucking hand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he put his hands on Daniel Korman. | ||
| He's like, I would not want to fight this guy. | ||
| Would not want to fight this guy. | ||
| And Daniel's like, holy shit, it's 45. 45 and 47. Look, he's a threat to democracy. | ||
| There's a lot of threats, folks. | ||
| There's a lot wrong here. | ||
| It's not just that guy. | ||
| But if you deny the humor of what that guy is, well, you're laughing at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You are opening the door to chaos. | |
| It's still funny. | ||
| You're not going to stop people from laughing at us. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You can't stop people from recognizing how fucking insane it is to have an actual former president be on TV selling like Digital cartoons of himself saying they're the greatest. | ||
| They're so inexpensive for what you get. | ||
| I'm the best president. | ||
| Better than Lincoln. | ||
| I'm your favorite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at these things. | |
| He's a hunter who's built like the rock with a gun. | ||
| These are crazy. | ||
| These are so funny. | ||
| Look at the Superman one. | ||
| Super jacked. | ||
| Imagine if he got a trainer and started getting jacked. | ||
| The art style looks awesome, by the way. | ||
| It almost looks like AI, but it also looks like he just got a Fiverr. | ||
| Like, you know, that website Fiverr? | ||
| He just paid somebody five bucks to make a... | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| It'll look good over the kitchen table. | ||
| Everybody has to say their prayers and then look to Trump for guidance before every meal. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's sold out. | ||
| Imagine if he got jacked, though, and he started an Instagram page where he had a shirt off all the time, and he's like working out, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just looking swole as fuck. | |
| What if The Rock turns Republican and starts training him? | ||
| Things go so haywire that everybody's abandoning every party. | ||
| No one knows what to do. | ||
| How old is he, though? | ||
| He's a thousand years old. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But he's got access to, like, the best medicine. | ||
| Be in a hyperbaric chamber 24 hours a day for a month, come out looking like a baby. | ||
| You know who was also ridiculous? | ||
| Rudy Giuliani. | ||
| I saw a photo of him the other day just, like, standing on a sidewalk looking at his phone. | ||
| He's wearing these pants that look like hammer pants. | ||
| They're super baggy. | ||
| And then his suit, that's a different color suit. | ||
| Like, his suit top was black and this was, like, off blue. | ||
| Like, I don't think he even knows. | ||
| I respect it. | ||
| Probably can't see anymore. | ||
| I can't see anymore. | ||
| My eyesight sucks. | ||
| The other day when I was getting ready for go to the UFC, I couldn't figure out if my shirt was black or blue. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I had to get it near the sunlight. | ||
| I had to bring it near the window so I could look at it. | ||
| I'm like, is that a dark, dark blue or is it black? | ||
| Because I know I have dark, dark blue shirts. | ||
| I don't want to be that idiot on TV with a dark blue shirt where on camera it looks dark blue, but in your fucking poorly lit closet, you can't tell if it's black or blue. | ||
| Yeah, that's part of getting old, dude. | ||
| Yeah, my eyes are fucked. | ||
| That's why old people can fuck each other. | ||
| They don't know what each other looks like. | ||
| They're like Brad Pitt. | ||
| They can't see faces. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, old people have sex, man. | ||
| I would want my girl to be fat if I was old, though. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because then you'd be able to feel things better. | ||
| Like, oh, it's tits. | ||
| Like an old, frail, old lady. | ||
| Oh, yeah, you don't want that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would suck. | |
| That would suck. | ||
| Yeah, frail. | ||
| Frail people scare you when you hug them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you have a friend that's like real frail and you hug them, you're like, how you doing, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's up? | |
| And you give them a hug, like, oh, no. | ||
| You just crack their knuckle. | ||
| You okay? | ||
| Like, you're so frail. | ||
| Have you seen this new show coming out on TLC called MILF Manor? | ||
| Oh shit, I'm in. | ||
| The trailer leaves a spoiler that they don't spoil, which I think you can imagine what it is going to be. | ||
| They bang each other. | ||
| They're all guys. | ||
| These eight women get into a house, and then these eight college hunks show up is what it says, but I think the hunks are going to be their sons. | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| That's what it sounds like. | ||
| Oh, so the sons bang the other moms? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| What if they hook their sons up? | ||
| Like, listen, this chick's a freak. | ||
| It's all the women. | ||
| Where are they? | ||
| Mexico or something. | ||
| It doesn't show any of the guys' faces, so you can't tell off the trailer, but all the moms are just like, I just want a young man. | ||
| Horny ladies who are in their 40s who know what they want and these young dudes who have dick for days. | ||
| Sounds like a party. | ||
| This show is so gross. | ||
| That would be crazy if you were there with your son. | ||
| Your son was fucking this lady that you don't like, but she's got big tits. | ||
| Do they think that, like, what are the boys going to do? | ||
| Or the sons when they go back and hang out, like, talking about each other's moms? | ||
| Yeah, are they allowed to, like, swim? | ||
| Like, what if the boys are friends? | ||
| That would be even more fucked. | ||
| It seems like they're all hanging out together. | ||
| Like, it's a real-world house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have an extremely high libido. | |
| Should I just have said a high libido? | ||
| She's ready. | ||
| They're putting that scent out there. | ||
| She knows she's got like five more years of this party. | ||
| It looks like fun to see what happens if that's what it is, but I don't know what the other twist would be if it's not. | ||
| That would be weird. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Try doing this with reverse sexes. | ||
| Try doing this where there's a bunch of old divorced men in their 40s and you bring in these 19-year-old college girls. | ||
| Everybody would be so angry. | ||
| They'd be like, no fucking way. | ||
| There's no fucking way. | ||
| And then if the guys start fucking other guys' daughters... | ||
| They would fight. | ||
| They would beat the shit out of each other. | ||
| That sounds a million times better, dude. | ||
| Imagine, this is how weird the world is. | ||
| You could never have that. | ||
| You could never have, like... | ||
| Yeah, you could. | ||
| Could you? | ||
| What if the show's so popular, they're like, you have to do it the other way. | ||
| College freshman, 19 years old. | ||
| And a bunch of guys in their 50s who are ripped. | ||
| No, they're all just like slobby, you know? | ||
| Yeah, but those girls are hot. | ||
| That's part of the fun of it is the girls are hot, so the guys are into those girls. | ||
| Like, those women are in their 40s, but they're all smoke shows. | ||
| Like, look at them. | ||
| They're all banging bodies. | ||
| They're all hot. | ||
| Those guys get a couple of tequilas in them. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| It's going to happen, right? | ||
| You know that. | ||
| And if those girls have extremely high libido... | ||
| Big old double D science-created mama-jamas popping out of their fucking shirt, and they're touching that guy's leg and he's 19. He's in a trance. | ||
| He doesn't know what's going on. | ||
| Next thing you know, his dick is hard as a crowbar, and it's time to go with this old lady. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| But if you had that the opposite way, if you had a bunch of guys in their 50s that just take testosterone, they're all ripped, They're all fucking doing CrossFit every day and shit. | ||
| And they have a lot of money and big watches and shit. | ||
| And they're like, I got extremely high libido. | ||
| And then these girls come in and they look all innocent and giggly. | ||
| And they're cute. | ||
| Their little butts are hanging out when they jump in the pool. | ||
| We'd be like, what kind of fucking show is this? | ||
| This show's bullshit. | ||
| Pornhub? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wait a second, why were all those women white? | ||
| It's everything on Pornhub. | ||
| Yes, it's everything on Pornhub. | ||
| You know what I see more of, now than anything, is what I call karma-free porn. | ||
| Here's karma-free porn. | ||
| Stepmom porn, where you don't feel bad about anybody involved, where the woman is like 45 years old, but still really hot, and then... | ||
| That's what this is. | ||
| It's almost what this is. | ||
| Soria, but what I'm saying is the woman's really hot, and the son is home for spring break, or something like that, and dad ignores the hot lady and is just working all the time. | ||
| And then she's hot as fuck, but she's a freak, and then next thing you know, he's giving her a massage, and... | ||
| That's karma free. | ||
| You don't feel bad for the woman because she wants it and she seduces the guy. | ||
| Like she seduces the college kid into doing it. | ||
| And then you don't feel bad about the dad because fuck that old rich asshole with this wife that he shouldn't have. | ||
| It's always like some geriatric man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, don't you fuck my son when I'm at work. | |
| She's like, I wouldn't. | ||
| I love you, baby. | ||
| And then as soon as he leaves, she just can't wait. | ||
| Oh my god, my neck is killing me. | ||
| Would you please rub my neck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, I don't know if my dad would be cool with that. | |
| That's karma-free porn. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| You don't feel bad about anybody involved, you know? | ||
| Because there was a time where I couldn't watch porn. | ||
| There was a time where porn got really, like, gaggy. | ||
| Really, like, where girls were crying a lot. | ||
| Like, tears run down their eyes while they're... | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| That looks crazy. | ||
| I'm not interested in that. | ||
| You know, remember that guy, Max Hardcore? | ||
| He got arrested for obscenity. | ||
| Like, his porn was so fucked up, they put him in jail. | ||
| Which is like, woo! | ||
| Like, who gets to decide that? | ||
| Like, obscenity is like, that's one of those things, like, I know it when I see it. | ||
| I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it. | ||
| They charged him in Florida, find out what that is, but he did horrible shit in those films. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like, I don't even want to describe it, but pissing in girls' assholes. | ||
| Grabbing their heads real hard. | ||
| Horrible shit. | ||
| But it was like, they all agreed to it. | ||
| They knew they were going to do it when they signed up. | ||
| They knew what he did. | ||
| But even so, who wants that? | ||
| Why are you even into that? | ||
| The stepmom thing makes sense to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| I gotta go to the gym. | ||
| I can't really give you a massage. | ||
| Please, my back hurts so much. | ||
| My father is just, he doesn't want, he's always so tired when he comes home from the bank. | ||
| Karma-free porn. | ||
| He got arrested, he got, let's see, charged back in 1998. Trial 2002. This says he got arrested in 2005. Didn't he die? | ||
| I think he died, right? | ||
| I do not know. | ||
| He did time, though. | ||
| He did time. | ||
| Oh, there it goes. | ||
| Found guilty on all charges and sentenced to 46 months in prison. | ||
| What were the charges? | ||
| Five counts of transporting obscene matter by the use of interactive computer service and five counts of mailing obscene matter relating to five movies showing fisting, urination, and vomiting. | ||
| Fisting. | ||
| Good old fisting. | ||
| You don't see a good fisting video anymore. | ||
| The old days. | ||
| I think people just decided it's not fun. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| I think, you know, it's like one of those things, like the tide comes in, the tide goes out. | ||
| Things get too crazy, like, let's pull this back a little bit. | ||
| No more fisting. | ||
| But I'm sure it's fisting videos. | ||
| They're just not out everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It used to be a lot of that in, like, Japanese women putting octopuses in their pussy and stuff. | ||
| I think that's still around. | ||
| You think that's still around? | ||
| I haven't seen that in a while. | ||
| There's a lot of anime like that. | ||
| A lot of it was just, you know, there was some real girls stuffing squids up there, but there was a lot of it was, like, giant muscular octopuses with dicks at the end of their tentacles, and they were banging all these girls, and the girls were in ecstasy. | ||
| It was very creepy. | ||
| Like, imagine that's your thing. | ||
| God, I wish I was an octopus. | ||
| Find some lady skinny dipping. | ||
| Come here! | ||
| How do they stop that from being an AI thing? | ||
| Do you have to make it age-gated stuff? | ||
| Like, do you have to pay to be able to get into that, like, octopus porn tentacle stuff? | ||
| I want to see all of this stuff. | ||
| Because, like, you can't just have it available for everyone, like, right out of the gate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's, like, what... | ||
| Well, you know, if something's illegal to do for real, I mean, we do that with murder. | ||
| Like, you can watch CGI murder in a movie, where people get shot and killed at special effects. | ||
| It's totally illegal to murder somebody. | ||
| But you can murder someone in a movie. | ||
| But illegal sexual stuff. | ||
| Yeah, because if you started doing AI kid porn, there's no fucking way. | ||
| You could never do that. | ||
| It's tough to make that fake, I guess. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| We just saw this Morgan Freeman thing. | ||
| What can they do now? | ||
| They might be able to do that. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| I think they could probably make almost anything now if they can make Avatar. | ||
| They can make almost anything look real. | ||
| There was something that I read. | ||
| It was an article. | ||
| I only read the headline. | ||
| They were talking about creating sex robots that are like young for pedophiles to keep them from actually trying to molest kids. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a real thing. | ||
| That's kind of the same thing we're talking about, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if it helps and it's not a real thing... | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's one of those things, man. | ||
| It's very messy. | ||
| If someone has that urge and doesn't do anything about it ever because their morals and their ethics prevent them from doing it... | ||
| What is that thing? | ||
| What is that urge? | ||
| That's a fucked up part of... | ||
| It's not like it's only on one person, right? | ||
| That urge exists on multiple people. | ||
| People get arrested for it all the time. | ||
| It's a horrible urge. | ||
| But where's that coming from? | ||
| And could that possibly be inside a person who never acts on it? | ||
| You get molested, then you become the molester. | ||
| It happens to some people that way, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's the majority of it, right? | ||
| It's fucking horrible. | ||
| I'm not going to put this on the screen, but you're making me, reminding me of this art from the Balenciaga situation a couple weeks ago. | ||
| I told you about this, but this is like a mannequin that someone, I don't know who owns it. | ||
| This says the CEO of Balenciaga's parent company owns this art. | ||
| I just Googled the art. | ||
| But wasn't, it was the CGI of the parent company that owns it? | ||
| CEO. CEO owns it. | ||
| Like at his house? | ||
| That's what This says. | ||
| Fuckface. | ||
| Owns site that sells child sex mannequins. | ||
| With erect penises on their... | ||
| What? | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Why is that guy taking a photo with... | ||
| What's her face? | ||
| Salma Hayek. | ||
| I think they're married. | ||
| They're married? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What? | ||
| Let me check. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| That's a different guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a different guy. | ||
| French businessman. | ||
| Is it a different guy? | ||
| Or is it the same guy? | ||
| That's the same guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| What the hell? | ||
| Gucci. | ||
| CEO. Whoa. | ||
| French luxury group. | ||
| Now, those are for sale somewhere? | ||
| So that's what this says. | ||
| They run the site that sells them. | ||
| What is the website that's saying this? | ||
| Is this a legitimate website? | ||
| This was one of those TikTok stories that came out, but you look the stuff up and some of it is accurate. | ||
| It's like, here's Newsweek. | ||
| Who are the artists dragged into this discussion? | ||
| And so the artists, are those digital images or is that like a physical object? | ||
| The first thing it says is that this is an actual object. | ||
| This is being sold at Christie's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Christie's.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How much? | ||
| Wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| This is for sale on Christie's in the auction? | ||
| I'm on Christie's.com. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not even in a deep, weird website now. | ||
| This is from 1966? | ||
| Closed 2010 is when it was sold. | ||
| That was when it was sold. | ||
| But this thing, so this object was created in 1966? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Or the artists were born then, is what that means, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, executed in 1994. Yeah, I think that means when the artists were born. | ||
| Okay, so it was made in 1994. What the fuck, man? | ||
| Exhibited in 2006. So they call that art. | ||
| And then it was sold for $115,000. | ||
| If you're not looking at this, you probably don't... | ||
| Yeah, I'm not showing it at all. | ||
| You really don't want to look at this. | ||
| It's a little boy with his mouth is not a mouth anymore. | ||
| It's like a fuck hole. | ||
| And he has a penis, an erect penis for a nose. | ||
| And it's titled Fuck Face. | ||
| And he doesn't have pants on that he wears. | ||
| He doesn't have pants on. | ||
| And he's a tiny little baby. | ||
| He's like two or three years old. | ||
| He's got real weird art. | ||
| Other art is not as bad or strange as that, but it's very weird stuff. | ||
| Like this guy with a dick for a nose. | ||
| Decapitated head. | ||
| Yeah, but that's good. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's all you need. | ||
| Keep the dick hard. | ||
| What is this one? | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| Like, who would want to do that? | ||
| Who would want to make a decapitated head with a dick for a nose? | ||
| Like, that's what I'm on. | ||
| Show up to someone's house and that's theirs. | ||
| It's like, yeah. | ||
| Well, if they get to a point where they can genetically engineer life forms that really didn't exist before, how long before someone makes that? | ||
| Make some guy with a nose that's a dick And his mouth is right where your butthole is. | ||
| And you just ride his face. | ||
| Yeah, even as art, I can't even understand what the artist was thinking in that. | ||
| Like, you know, usually it could be like, I see what the artist was saying. | ||
| He was saying something, you know. | ||
| Yeah, what are you saying when you have a little baby with no pants on with a fuckhole for a mouth and a penis for a nose? | ||
| There's some fucked up people out there. | ||
| The thing is, like, what is that? | ||
| I don't... | ||
| So it's a blow-up doll having sex with another blow-up doll? | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| They're showing that to kids? | ||
| Maybe that's part of the art. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People have always been fucked. | |
| I don't mean like physically have like someone fucked them. | ||
| I mean people are fucked up. | ||
| They've always been fucked up. | ||
| And it that that kind of fucked up there's always been like and this is a thing because if you bring it if you bring up like elite people that are molesting children people like oh my god your tinfoil hat you're gone you're off in a conspiracy land because for most people they don't experience that there's no there's you have no reference point that sounds crazy that's not real But if you go to one of those wacky-ass parties in Hollywood, you're like, oh my god, these places are real. | ||
| There's probably a version of that for elite pedophiles. | ||
| They have to exist. | ||
| They've always existed in the past. | ||
| Maybe they exist in other countries. | ||
| Maybe there's only a couple of them. | ||
| Maybe there's a network of them, though, because it seems like they have exposed networks of people doing stuff like that in the past. | ||
| We just don't want to admit it because it's so horrific. | ||
| So we don't want to look at it. | ||
| You don't want to say it out loud. | ||
| Because if you say it out loud, all of a sudden you're a kook and you're a conspiracy theorist. | ||
| But what if it is actually happening? | ||
| And your inability to even entertain the thought that it could be possibly happening. | ||
| And this is sort of like a groupthink thing that happens with all of us. | ||
| We don't want to entertain it. | ||
| And because we don't want to entertain it, It doesn't get brought up. | ||
| It's not like a thing that's like at the forefront of everybody's conversation until something like this Balenciaga thing happens and you hear a bunch of different versions of it like who did what? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Well, I heard it was just a designer or I heard it was just a publicist that did that and she had some wacky shit on her site, but it had nothing to do with the company like and then there's Did you see this video? | ||
| She's the great-granddaughter of Guccio Gucci. | ||
| I think she's like the heiress. | ||
| Is that his name? | ||
| Guccio? | ||
| That's what it says. | ||
| What a great name. | ||
| She's making a bunch of claims that her family members made her do a bunch of stuff. | ||
| What kind of stuff? | ||
| Sexual stuff? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Sexual abuse. | ||
| Suffered at the hands of her stepfather, and no one did anything about it. | ||
| Stepfather porn. | ||
| I don't like stepfather porn. | ||
| I don't like that stuff. | ||
| I like stepmom only. | ||
| I like that 45 year old lady who lifts weights. | ||
| Big old ta-tas. | ||
| Letting everybody know she's ready to rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have a very high libido. | |
| Wearing her leopard print. | ||
| It's very different from the Gigolo show that was very popular, right? | ||
| These guys are being paid and a whole different thing. | ||
| Yeah, if you had Hooker Island, no one would be like, turn that off! | ||
| Those poor girls are sex trafficked! | ||
| But if you have Gigolo Island where a bunch of old ladies with cash go to get dicked down, everybody would be like, fuck yeah, girl. | ||
| You get yours. | ||
| You know, like Chippendale's guys. | ||
| Chippendale's guys run a train on some lady and that's what she wants and she's fucking all happy. | ||
| No one's upset. | ||
| She pays them. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| No one's mad at that. | ||
| She's like, how do I get some of that dick? | ||
| He's like, give me a bag of money. | ||
| Get this dick. | ||
| Everybody be like, sounds like they made a deal. | ||
| Sounds like they made a solid deal. | ||
| It's interesting like what society decides is okay and is not okay too. | ||
| Like there was all these songs back when we were kids. | ||
| Like Kiss had a song called Christine 16. Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| About a 16-year-old. | ||
| It's like, got to have her. | ||
| I've got to have her. | ||
| Remember that song? | ||
| Play that song. | ||
| Play Christine 16. And what's that other song? | ||
| She was only 17. Yeah, but she was sexy. | ||
| That's Rick James. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She was only 17. Yeah. | |
| 17, but she was sexy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's another one. | ||
| Different world. | ||
| Different world back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was one that was like... | ||
| Didn't Winger have a song called 17? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's only 17. Remember that? | |
| What's the one you want me to play? | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| 16? | ||
| Christine 16. Christine 16 was like... | ||
| I was... | ||
| I definitely wasn't 16 when this came out. | ||
| I was a kid. | ||
| And we used to sing this song. | ||
| Like I was a giant Kiss fan when I was like 11, 12 years old. | ||
| Yeah, this is the song. | ||
| So this is from Love Gun. | ||
| From what year is this? | ||
| I want to say like 70. | ||
| Dude, when I was a kid, when we were in high school, this song was the shit. | ||
| You didn't think about it as, like, a statutory rape song. | ||
| She's got me dancing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's got me in her hands. | |
| And there's no use in pretending. | ||
| You don't have to pretend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's 16. 16. 16. That's crazy. | |
| This was not that long ago. | ||
| Keep it going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at the way they're dressed, too. | |
| She drives me crazy. | ||
| I want to give her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All I've got Every day and night Isn't it crazy they played Vulcan? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just a couple weeks ago. | |
| I was bummed out that I wasn't in town. | ||
| I would have loved to see that. | ||
| Nick sent me a video. | ||
| It looked incredible. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| I saw you walking out of school that day. | ||
| I saw you walking out of school that day. | ||
| Now imagine how many girls in high school. | ||
| Keep going, Jamie. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You mean how many girls in high school? | ||
| Are we in trouble? | ||
| Do we have to play? | ||
| It's fun to listen to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably. | |
| I think Spotify plays Kiss. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| Do you know a band called Love Hate? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Oh no! | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| I'm looking at a list of songs. | ||
| I'm hoping it shows up. | ||
| I bet it was about 76. If I had a guess. | ||
| I say 77. What are you saying? | ||
| Do I know 77? | ||
| What band? | ||
| Do you know a band called Love Hate? | ||
| No. | ||
| They have a song called Rock Queen. | ||
| And one of the lyrics was, Met a little girl just 13. She's a knockdown, blue-eyed slut, psycho virgin tease. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| What year is that from? | ||
| I'd say like 70s. | ||
| Last week? | ||
| Let's get it on by Marvin Gaye. | ||
| But that wasn't about someone, was it? | ||
| He's talking about a 17-year-old girl. | ||
| Does he say it in the song? | ||
| He says... | ||
| Problem is she was 17, he's twice her age. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with me loving you baby no no and giving yourself to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh boy. | |
| Could never be wrong if the love is true. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| He doesn't say anything. | ||
| How do they know this? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
| That's not the lyrics. | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| I like to think I'm good for a surprise or two when it comes to these playlists. | ||
| Let's get it on. | ||
| Is that a surprise? | ||
| Let me explain. | ||
| Yes, I get that you sing along with this when you hear it on commercials during the old school lunch breaks and at grown and sexy social scenes, but Marvin was up to no good when he wrote it. | ||
| When he recorded it, he was dating Janice Hunter. | ||
| Okay, he was dating a girl. | ||
| Janice was 17. Got it. | ||
| Okay, but how do you know that that... | ||
| So they're not saying that he wrote that song about her. | ||
| I read it so quickly, I thought that's what I was seeing with all this. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| I doubt he was only dating Janice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Janice! | |
| You know, let's just... | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| I just... | ||
| I mean, let's be realistic. | ||
| He was Marvin motherfucking gay. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And back then, that guy was the man. | ||
| He probably had to fight them off. | ||
| I mean, women are probably showing up at his house every day. | ||
| He would sing about fucking. | ||
| Let's get it on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's okay. | |
| He died in Hollywood, right? | ||
| His father killed him. | ||
| Yeah, he had a jealous father. | ||
| Girl, he'll be a woman soon. | ||
| Ooh, that's another one. | ||
| You need a man. | ||
| Is that Roy Orbison? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Roy Orbison had pretty woman. | ||
| It's Neil Diamond. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They didn't sing that version, though, in Pulp Fiction. | ||
| He didn't. | ||
| Or Joe Overkill did. | ||
| What was the other song that we were just talking about? | ||
| Marvin Gaye. | ||
| Let's get it on. | ||
| Play that. | ||
| Give me some of that. | ||
| That song's fucking amazing. | ||
| I remember reading, I dated this girl when I hear this, this is crazy. | ||
| I was really into Marvin Gaye for a while when I was like 21. And I was dating this girl when she was 25. And then I read that Marvin Gaye's dad killed him. | ||
| And I was like, fuck. | ||
| And she goes, do you know how much of a horrible person he must have been that his dad killed him? | ||
| Wow, yeah. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| But see, this woman that I was dating had a great relationship with her dad. | ||
| Her dad was a great guy. | ||
| She loved her dad. | ||
| So she would never associate a father with being someone who would abuse you. | ||
| I grew up without my dad. | ||
| So for me, I was like, no, his dad was probably an asshole. | ||
| His dad was probably jealous. | ||
| His dad was probably just some terrible... | ||
| There's terrible people that fuck people and have kids. | ||
| Murderers, monsters, thieves, con artists. | ||
| They fuck people and have kids, and then they have a son. | ||
| I saw a video today of a boxing match between a father and a son. | ||
| It made me so sad. | ||
| It made me so sad. | ||
| Because there's this young kid, he looks like he's probably like 17 or 18, and the father's 42. And the father beats the shit out of him. | ||
| I mean, like, dings him in the head and keeps punching him. | ||
| I'm like, that's your son. | ||
| That's your son. | ||
| We're watching you beat your son up because I get your son probably got cocky with you but and he Celebrates after he knocks his son out. | ||
| It made me so sad Because first of all I'm like that kid has brain damage now a hundred percent Maybe it's just a little maybe he'll be fine. | ||
| Maybe he'll get over it But maybe you fucked him up that can happen too. | ||
| He might be depressed from now on after that it might fuck up his pituitary gland It happens to people and you just did that to your son You're supposed to, like, touch him up. | ||
| You're supposed to not even hurt him. | ||
| Like, slam him in the body a little bit. | ||
| Like, you think he can fight? | ||
| Okay, dude! | ||
| Okay, let's have a little boxing match. | ||
| You don't Tee off on your son's face on television. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| How old was the kid? | ||
| Kid looks young. | ||
| To me, he looks like, you know, he could be 20. He could be 19. He looks young. | ||
| He's real skinny. | ||
| And the father's kind of jacked. | ||
| Not too jacked, but, you know, he's fit. | ||
| And he could fucking punch. | ||
| He knows how to box. | ||
| And the son doesn't look like he has any idea what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| I don't know what the thing was. | ||
| Someone sent it to me and they were cheering that this old guy knocked his son out. | ||
| I was like, you guys are crazy. | ||
| You failed. | ||
| You failed as a man. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| That's not exactly what was happening. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| They're not father-son. | ||
| Oh, why does it lie? | ||
| It says father knocks out son in a celebrity boxing match. | ||
| Gotta get somebody to click on this. | ||
| This was like a YouTuber thing. | ||
| This guy's a YouTuber and he's a YouTuber. | ||
| I'm such a sucker. | ||
| They got me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate that shit. | |
| Okay, now I'm not sad anymore. | ||
| Now I'm like, fuck yeah, old guy who fucked up that young punk who's talking shit about him. | ||
| If that was actually his son, that would be the saddest shit of all time. | ||
| Because if you're a guy and you could box like that, you could punch like that, you've been boxing, right? | ||
| So you know people that have brain damage, you know the consequences of getting punched in the face. | ||
| But if it's just some cocky kid who wants to box with some dude, I'm all in. | ||
| YouTuber. | ||
| So now I'm in. | ||
| Isn't that interesting? | ||
| Just all about the relationship the two people have with each other. | ||
| I want love whenever possible. | ||
| But sometimes people talk shit. | ||
| And they need to get cracked. | ||
| See, here's the guy walking out. | ||
| He's ready to roll. | ||
| Yeah, look at him with the tie. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| He's 42. You know he's on testosterone. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| But the thing is, it's like he actually knows how to box a little bit. | ||
| Like, this guy knows he's in trouble. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| Like, from the very beginning. | ||
| He looks nervous as fuck. | ||
| And that other dude looks super confident. | ||
| That's how a lot of these have gone. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| It says Daddy on his chest. | ||
| I guess that's probably a joke because it doesn't look like a real tattoo. | ||
| Why don't you give us the full screen so we can see it? | ||
| Dad Feels is the guy's name. | ||
| That's his name? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is like his Twitch account. | ||
| So these are Twitch guys? | ||
| YouTuber, this is on his account. | ||
| It's Dad. | ||
| I like how he goes full bald too. | ||
| Bald spot, goofy hair in the front. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just look stupid when you beat his ass. | ||
| Look at him dancing around. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Look how confident he is. | ||
| But then once the fight starts, you realize why he's confident. | ||
| Because he actually knows how to box. | ||
| Just look at the body difference. | ||
| Dude's way more jacked also. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| He can actually punch a little bit. | ||
| I mean, he definitely doesn't look like a serious boxer, but he's throwing some fucking haymakers, and he's landing them. | ||
| He's digging to the body, like right there. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Fight, stop the fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop it, stop it. | |
| I mean, he got fucked up. | ||
| That other dude had no business being in there. | ||
| Now I understand why he's so happy. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| Okay, now it's better. | ||
| Isn't it funny how just a little bit of information, now you know more about the situation, you're like, oh, I'm all in. | ||
| Yeah, looking at that and thinking that was a real father-son, that would have freaked me out. | ||
| It made me sad. | ||
| I thought it was a real father-son. | ||
| These fucking titles should be illegal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is YouTube doing to stop misinformation? | |
| What are you doing to stop misinformation? | ||
| That's real misinformation, YouTube. | ||
| But that's how we clicked on it. | ||
| It was like 42 year old guy beats up young guy. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| My favorite is this old boxer and he looks like he's like fucking 65 and he's got a sweater on and he beats the shit out of this young jacked guy. | ||
| Like they start boxing and all of a sudden this guy starts bobbing his head. | ||
| You're like, oh my god, this old guy can fight. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Have you ever seen this one? | ||
| No. | ||
| So look at the young guy, jacked. | ||
| Heartthrob, man bun. | ||
| Look, he's got a man bun, right? | ||
| So he's smiling. | ||
| He thinks this is funny. | ||
| Okay, you want a box? | ||
| All right, bro. | ||
| So he touches gloves to this guy. | ||
| Look at the guy who has a sweater on. | ||
| But watch this. | ||
| The guy starts punching himself in the face and moving forward. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Look at the head movement. | ||
| The guy should be nervous right now. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Look at this old guy. | ||
| Beats the brakes off this kid. | ||
| Drops him with a fucking left haymaker. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then he's like, hey, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. | ||
| Has he had enough? | ||
| It's like Rocky's coach. | ||
| What is he saying? | ||
| What language is it? | ||
| Let me hear him talk again. | ||
| Back it up a little because he's talking to those guys. | ||
| Oh, they're Italian. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| They're Italian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get in there, Rocky. | |
| Yeah. - Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of old men in Italy that'll punch you in the face. | ||
| Be careful. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| But that's better, right? | ||
| That one's even better. | ||
| Because that way the guy's older, so he's an actual grown, full man. | ||
| He's in his 30s. | ||
| He's jacked. | ||
| He's not a little kid. | ||
| And the old guy's a beast. | ||
| Just seeing him like this and then start bobbing and waving, you're like, oh no! | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| I want more of that. | ||
| If you don't know how to box and you're like, oh, and you see that guy doing that, that's a fucking terrible place to be. | ||
| And the fact that he had a man bun, too, really helped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It helped a lot. | |
| And he's jacked. | ||
| He's got a sleeveless shirt on. | ||
| It's showing the guns. | ||
| He gets lit up. | ||
| You guys are really hating on man buns. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been trying to get you to shave your head for years, son. | ||
| You don't do the man bun thing, do you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does. | |
| Like a samurai. | ||
| Well, you don't do it on... | ||
| That's a ponytail. | ||
| Yeah, I don't do that messy bun all tied up on top. | ||
| That's a strange thing. | ||
| That's either you're a samurai or, you know, you're a male feminist. | ||
| One of the two. | ||
| You know, the first guy I ever saw have that, though, it was pretty cool. | ||
| It was Hicks and Gracie. | ||
| Hicks and Gracie did it because he was into samurais. | ||
| Like, he grew his hair out long and he had it back there like a fucking samurai back when he was the man. | ||
| There's a video. | ||
| See if you find Hickson Gracie. | ||
| Yeah, look. | ||
| So he had a man bun. | ||
| But this is when he was... | ||
| Is that Krohn? | ||
| That's Krohn. | ||
| That's his son. | ||
| That's his son there, too. | ||
| But Hickson had that way back in the day. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| See if you can find the images of Hickson back in the day. | ||
| Hickson back in the day was a goddamn heartthrob. | ||
| Look at him there doing yoga. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Imagine that guy likes your lady. | ||
| You got real problems, son. | ||
| Look how beautiful he was. | ||
| No disrespect, Mr. Gracie. | ||
| Just complimentary. | ||
| He was the greatest of all time. | ||
| In his day, no one came close. | ||
| If you ask any jujitsu black belt who's the best, they all said Hickson. | ||
| Now they all say Gordon Ryan, which is true of today, but Gordon Ryan is like the modern version of Hickson, where everybody just says he's the best. | ||
| There's nobody like either one of those guys. | ||
| There's nobody like Hickson, and there's nobody like Gordon, where everybody says, that's the best. | ||
| Who was the guy that you had on your show, and I was there, and he was like a master, kind of like an older guy, and he was putting me in chokeholds and stuff. | ||
| Gene LaBelle. | ||
| Yeah, that dude. | ||
| Judo Gene LaBelle. | ||
| He passed away. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Rest in peace. | ||
| He was the best. | ||
| He was the best. | ||
| He was such a funny guy. | ||
| And he was one of the first guys that ever entered into a mixed fight. | ||
| A fight with a karate guy. | ||
| No, he fought a boxer. | ||
| I think he did several of them. | ||
| But there's a video of him. | ||
| He's wearing his judo gi and he fights a boxer. | ||
| And just smothers his boxer and strangles him. | ||
| But it was one of the first times that you'd ever seen a mixed martial arts fight. | ||
| So he was one of the first mixed... | ||
| Mixed combat sports athletes. | ||
| And so he has this fight with a guy and he wears a judo gi. | ||
| He was a legitimate national champion in judo. | ||
| Gene LaBelle was the fucking man. | ||
| So this is like 63. And he made the boxer wear a judo gi, which is hilarious. | ||
| But it looks like the boxer has little tiny gloves on too. | ||
| It looks like he's got kind of MMA gloves. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Milo Savage, that's the guy he fought. | ||
| And the guy was a serious boxer, too. | ||
| You could tell just by... | ||
| No, don't go too far. | ||
| I didn't do anything. | ||
| He just did that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's cheap. | ||
| So it just shows Gene on top of him. | ||
| It doesn't show the takedown in this particular video that we're watching. | ||
| But Gene cornered him. | ||
| He cornered him and grabbed him, got a hold of him. | ||
| But you see the way this guy boxes. | ||
| He's got some serious punches. | ||
| You can tell even by the way he's moving. | ||
| That's a real boxer. | ||
| But he made him wear that fucking gi, man. | ||
| If you make him wear that kimono top, even if the guy, you know, is trying to punch Gene LaBelle, Gene is never letting go of that top. | ||
| And he drags him to the ground, gets on top of him. | ||
| I think he choked him unconscious with his own gi. | ||
| I think that's what he did. | ||
| I don't really totally remember. | ||
| But look how good. | ||
| The guy keeps getting up, man. | ||
| He got up a couple of times. | ||
| So Milo Savage was a bad man. | ||
| It wasn't like he was fighting some chump. | ||
| He was just fighting a guy who... | ||
| So it doesn't show it, huh? | ||
| So it looks to me like he got him in an Ezekiel choke, which is a choke where you use the collar of your shirt. | ||
| It looks like that's what he's doing. | ||
| No, right here he's just pinning him. | ||
| So there's the choke. | ||
| So I'm looking at it right now. | ||
| Hard to say. | ||
| Probably some kind of a gi choke. | ||
| Some type of gee choke. | ||
| This is like an Ezekiel is you grab your collar like this here. | ||
| You grab your own collar and then you put this across the person's face, across their neck rather. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you strangle them with the... | |
| The Gi. | ||
| So maybe he did that. | ||
| But he was one of the first. | ||
| And he was a stuntman, and he was the guy that allegedly choked out Steven Seagal on the set. | ||
| Yes, that's right. | ||
| Made him go to the bathroom. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| He explained it on the podcast. | ||
| It was a hilarious explanation. | ||
| That was a good podcast, too. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He almost killed me. | ||
| He also is a guy that taught Bruce Lee. | ||
| When Bruce Lee met him, he really didn't understand grappling like that, like that kind of super high-level judo. | ||
| And I think in that movie, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, the Brad Pitt character is supposed to represent, in some way, shape, or form, a guy like Gene LaBelle. | ||
| A guy who was like a real bad motherfucker who was working with Bruce Lee on a movie set. | ||
| But in reality, they collaborated. | ||
| In reality, Gene LaBelle taught him some judo, but he did pick him up at one point in time and carry him around just to let him know, like, hey buddy, in the real world, I'm fucking Gene LaBelle and you weigh 135 pounds. | ||
| But he taught him stuff. | ||
| That's why I believe it's Game of Death, the one when they're fighting. | ||
| I think it's Game of Death. | ||
| He catches this guy that he's fighting with in an armbar. | ||
| It was like one of the first times, and it was when he was wearing those Jeet Kune Do gloves, which look a lot like modern MMA gloves. | ||
| They were like a little bit more puffy, but that was like the first version of an MMA glove. | ||
| And he wins this fight with grappling, which I guarantee June LaBelle had an influence on that. | ||
| Because Bruce Lee was so fucking smart, man. | ||
| He said it was End of the Dragon. | ||
| End of the Dragon, that's right, sorry. | ||
| See those gloves? | ||
| Look at those gloves. | ||
| So he's fighting this guy, cracks him, ducks under the kick, takes him down. | ||
| Throws him to the ground. | ||
| I mean, you've got to understand that back then, you might look at this today and see this kind of silly, back then this was the shit. | ||
| Because Bruce Lee was, look at that kick. | ||
| He was a legit martial artist. | ||
| Like, really good. | ||
| And also a giant movie star. | ||
| And also a guy who is open-minded enough to incorporate all the arts into what he called Jeet Kune Do. | ||
| So he was like the first guy that figured out, look, he's throwing fucking takedowns and aikido and judo and everything. | ||
| He threw it all in together. | ||
| He's throwing this guy to the ground. | ||
| He gets him in a fucking crucifix. | ||
| From the back and gets him in an arm bar and makes the dude tap. | ||
| He's tapping. | ||
| First time we ever see a tap. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's here in Enter the Dragon. | ||
| And then they bow afterwards. | ||
| This is literally like an example for everybody to see of the first mixed martial arts fight. | ||
| And it was Bruce Lee. | ||
| Because Bruce Lee, back then, even when I was training in Taekwondo, when I would go to Muay Thai gyms, my instructor did not like it. | ||
| They did not like it. | ||
| When I would go to boxing gyms, they're like, you can learn that here. | ||
| Everybody wanted you to just learn Taekwondo. | ||
| They opened their mind up to it a little bit at certain points in time. | ||
| Like certain students that we had that also boxed. | ||
| I could go train with them in other places, but... | ||
| When I started kickboxing, it was a giant wake-up call because I realized, like, wow, there's stuff that's better than Taekwondo for, like, an overall – Taekwondo is the best for, like, wild kicks, like, side kicks and front kicks and wheel kicks and turning back kicks and shit like that. | ||
| But boxing is way better for your hands. | ||
| Like, those guys are way better at it. | ||
| And then you get kicked in the legs and you're like, oh, boy, I need to learn that. | ||
| How do you kick? | ||
| Well, there's an art to that. | ||
| And then you learn takedowns. | ||
| You're like, oh, Jesus, I'm helpless when I'm on my back. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| You learn jujitsu. | ||
| You're like, oh, I thought I was a badass. | ||
| I'm just a victim. | ||
| Someone could just maul you, but Bruce Lee he opened that door for everybody because back then before especially before the UFC martial arts were very like Everybody stayed in their tribe the judo guys thought judo was the best The kickboxer guys thought kickboxing was the best like everybody had their own mindset on what style was the best Bruce Lee started it all off bro and judo Gene LaBelle was the guy that taught him grappling and Look at that. | ||
| He's got a head and arm choke. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| I like the faces he always has. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of a head and arm choke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's got... | ||
| This dude has got him in an arm bar. | ||
| And what movie was that? | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| He's got his thumb the wrong way. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Bruce Lee orders cocaine? | ||
| Robert Baker. | ||
| Oh, he sidekicks him in the face, then he pulls his hair and fucking karate chops him in the neck for the death. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Back then, man, everybody wanted to learn karate. | ||
| When they saw that Bruce Lee movie, everybody wanted to learn kung fu. | ||
| Dude started walking around with kung fu outfits on. | ||
| Guys would go to school with kung fu outfits on back then. | ||
| He also probably helped out the Asian community a lot. | ||
| Steve Aoki told me that. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, Steve Aoki said when he was a kid, he was like, finally there's an Asian hero. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who was like, the baddest motherfucker on earth was an Asian. | ||
| It was nice. | ||
| And still considered one of the baddest motherfuckers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still in this day! | |
| Steve Aoki got picked for? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| He's going to the moon. | ||
| Oh, he is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not going to land on it, but they're going to orbit it. | |
| They're going to put him in a VR chamber. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're on the moon! | |
| Speaking of that, they've just released all those documents, JFK documents. | ||
| Anything come out of that? | ||
| Did something come out of it? | ||
| One thing that came out was they were saying that Lee Harvey Oswald was a Russian asset. | ||
| And that he had been honey-potted by his wife. | ||
| And he lived in Russia in the 1950s. | ||
| And they think that in this, I think what Russia's trying to say in this is that they were responsible for making Lee Harvey Oswald try to kill the president. | ||
| There was so much shit going on with that story. | ||
| For anybody that thinks in 2022 that you know what happened in 1963, you're crazy. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| What does Tucker Carlson say? | ||
| What does he say? | ||
| They spoke with someone who... | ||
| Well, let's play it so we can hear it. | ||
| It's seven minutes long. | ||
| It's long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| I don't think we can play it. | ||
| Just let me hear a little bit of it. | ||
| He murders the President of the United States, and then, less than 48 hours later, that lone gunman is himself murdered by another lone gunman. | ||
| What are the odds of that? | ||
| It's one thing if you get struck by lightning, rare but possible. | ||
| But if every member of your family also gets struck by lightning all on different days, you might begin to suspect these are not entirely natural events. | ||
| But oh, replied the U.S. government, they are. | ||
| This bizarre chain of killings was all entirely natural. | ||
| So less than a year after the JFK assassination, the Johnson White House released something called the Warren Commission Report. | ||
| And the report concluded that while their motives remained unclear, both Lee Oswald and Jack Ruby had acted alone. | ||
| No one helped them. | ||
| There was no conspiracy of any kind. | ||
| Case closed. | ||
| Time to move on. | ||
| And many Americans did move on. | ||
| At the time, they had no idea how shoddy and corrupt the Warren Commission was. | ||
| It would be nearly 50 years before the CIA admitted under duress that, in fact, it had withheld information from investigators about its relationship with Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
| But even then, at the time, before that was known, the government's explanation didn't seem entirely plausible, and some people started asking obvious questions about it. | ||
| It was at that point, as Americans started to doubt the official story, that the term conspiracy theory entered our lexicon. | ||
| As Professor Lance DeHaven-Smith points out in his book on the subject, the term conspiracy theory did not exist as a phrase in everyday American conversation before 1964. In 1964, the year the Warren Commission issued its report, the New York Times published five stories in which conspiracy theory appeared. | ||
| Now, today, of course, the term conspiracy theory appears in pretty much every New York Times story about American politics. | ||
| It's wielded, now as then, as a weapon against anyone who asks questions the government doesn't feel like answering. | ||
| But despite 60 years of name-calling, those questions have not disappeared. | ||
| In fact, they have multiplied with time. | ||
| And here's one of them. | ||
| In April of 1964, a psychiatrist called Louis Joylyn West visited Jack Ruby in his isolation cell in a Dallas jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is chaos. | |
| According to West's written assessment, he found that Jack Ruby was, quote, technically insane and in need of immediate psychiatric hospitalization. | ||
| Those are conclusions that, puzzlingly, no one who had spoken to Jack Ruby previously had reached. | ||
| Ruby had seemed perfectly sane to the people who knew him. | ||
| Louis Joyland West pronounced him crazy. | ||
| But what West did not say was that he was working for the CIA at the time. | ||
| Louis Joyland West was a contract psychiatrist for the spy agency. | ||
| He was also an expert on mind control and a prominent player in the now infamous MKUltra program in which the CIA gave powerful psychiatric drugs to Americans without their knowledge. | ||
| So of all the psychiatrists in the world, what in the world was this guy doing in Jack Ruby's prison cell? | ||
| The media did not seem interested in finding out. | ||
| In fact, The New York Times, in an extensive 1999 obituary of West, never mentioned the fact that he had worked for the CIA, much less his time in Jack Ruby's cell, which seems relevant. | ||
| So you can see why non-crazy people would wonder about what really happened. | ||
| And of course, many have wondered. | ||
| In 1976, long forgotten, the House of Representatives impaneled a special committee to reinvestigate the JFK assassination. | ||
| Their bipartisan conclusion? | ||
| Jack Kennedy was almost certainly murdered as the result of a conspiracy. | ||
| But the question is, a conspiracy by whom? | ||
| Well, the obvious suspect would be the CIA. Why else would the agency withhold critical evidence from investigators? | ||
| Is there a benign explanation for that? | ||
| For maintaining this level of secrecy for this many years? | ||
| Not that we're aware of. | ||
| And it is illegal. | ||
| In 1992, Congress passed the President John F. Kennedy Assassination Records Collection Act. | ||
| That act mandated full disclosure of all documents by 2017, 54 years after JFK was killed. | ||
| The last administration promised to comply fully with that law, but under intense pressure from CIA director Mike Pompeo, withheld in the end thousands of pages of CIA documents. | ||
| Today, this afternoon, the Biden administration did exactly the same thing. | ||
| That would be thousands of pages of documents after nearly 60 years, after the death of every single person involved. | ||
| But we still can't see them. | ||
| Clearly it's not to protect any person. | ||
| They're all dead. | ||
| It's to protect an institution. | ||
| But why? | ||
| Well, today we decided to find out We spoke to someone who had access to these still-hidden CIA documents, a person who was deeply familiar with what they contained. | ||
| We asked this person directly, did the CIA have a hand in the murder of John F. Kennedy, an American president? | ||
| And here's the reply we received verbatim. | ||
| Quote, the answer is yes. | ||
| I believe they were involved. | ||
| It's a whole different country from what we thought it was. | ||
| THEIR OWNERS, THEIR OWNERS, THEIR OWNERS, THEIR OWNERS, THEIR OWNERS, THEIR OWNERS, IT'S ALL FAKE. | ||
| IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE A MORE JARRING RESPONSE THAN THAT. | ||
| AGAIN, THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORIST THAT WE SPOKE TO, NOT EVEN CLOSE. | ||
| public. | ||
| And the answer we received was unequivocal. | ||
| Yes, the CIA was involved in the assassination of the president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Bro. Bro. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| 97% of the documents they said have now been released. | ||
| I think as of this time, like whatever, yesterday or something, and people are starting to look through those. | ||
| They don't expect to find anything in those because there's still thousands of documents. | ||
| I would definitely not let people read the ones that would be looking bad. | ||
| I mean, that's the only explanation. | ||
| Why can't we read them? | ||
| They must be bad. | ||
| They can't be good. | ||
| Well, they say a lot of great things about the CIA and we're pretty humble. | ||
| I mean, we don't want that. | ||
| That's going to cause chaos. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| The whole place, the country is going to fucking riot. | ||
| How will they ever find out? | ||
| If they're able to keep shit from us, how will they ever find out? | ||
| Even though there's been laws passed and, you know, rulings that they're supposed to release it in 2017. Like, what? | ||
| But why not? | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| And they don't have to explain. | ||
| That's what's crazy. | ||
| It's like, imagine if you were being investigated by the police. | ||
| And they said, hey, Brian, why do you have $2 million in cash and 100 pounds of cocaine? | ||
| And you're like, I can't let you know about that. | ||
| That stuff, I keep that from you. | ||
| So you can look into my bank account. | ||
| Most of that money is from gifts. | ||
| People give me gifts. | ||
| I'm real friendly. | ||
| What? | ||
| Someone said you definitely sold coke. | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean someone is saying they definitely were involved in the killing and the CIA is like – I'm surprised Trump didn't. | ||
| Take that out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| And show everybody. | ||
| It seems like something he would do. | ||
| You ever heard Putin talk about American presidents? | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| He has this conversation where they're talking about Trump. | ||
| I believe it was while Trump was running for office. | ||
| And he was essentially saying, Trump is a smart guy, but All these ideas that he has, they'll never work. | ||
| He said, I've sat through two different presidents. | ||
| He's like, this is what happens. | ||
| I think he said three presidents. | ||
| He goes, this is what happens. | ||
| You have all these ideas and then these men with the dark suits show up and they tell you how the countries run. | ||
| Like, see if you can find that video because it's very interesting because it's Putin explaining why no one ever follows through on their promises. | ||
| No one does. | ||
| Everyone run for office. | ||
| They have all these grand ideas. | ||
| I'm going to let all the potheads out of jail, and I'm going to make this legal and that legal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened to that? | |
| Well, there was no one in jail for possession. | ||
| That idea that people were in jail, federal prison rather, excuse me, there's no one in prison for possession. | ||
| The idea that people were going to be released from federal position... | ||
| The idea that people are going to be released from federal prison with marijuana possession charges. | ||
| There's no one in federal prison with marijuana possession charges. | ||
| The people in jail are all in for distribution and growing and they're in there for money laundering. | ||
| They're drug dealers. | ||
| The people that are in federal prison, it's because marijuana is illegal. | ||
| They shouldn't be in jail, for sure. | ||
| But they're not in jail or in prison because they had possession. | ||
| They were selling it. | ||
| Even people that are in federal prison or state prisons, like that they should be released. | ||
| This fucking, you know, this Brittany Griner thing, people are not making enough about how many people are in jail for marijuana in this country. | ||
| It's great that they got her out. | ||
| It's not great that they had to give up a fucking horrible arms dealer to get her out. | ||
| It's not great that we left behind that Marine, but it's great that they got her out. | ||
| She shouldn't be in jail for weed. | ||
| Everybody agrees to that. | ||
| But why are these people in our country in jail? | ||
| There's thousands, thousands of people in jail for marijuana-related charges. | ||
| Remember Tommy Chong? | ||
| How silly is that? | ||
| All he did was sell bombs. | ||
| But they were going to imprison his family. | ||
| And he had to step up. | ||
| And he's a real man. | ||
| And he did step up. | ||
| He just had to go to jail. | ||
| And then he couldn't smoke weed for a long time after that, too. | ||
| And now it's legal in California. | ||
| Now you can buy a bong on Amazon. | ||
| I think the bongs are being sold in other states, though. | ||
| I think it was one of them deals where it was like they were selling them in Florida or something. | ||
| Crossing the line or crossing the border. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which you can't do. | ||
| You've got to make people fly out to California and get them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Yeah, here. | ||
| Play this. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'll read it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But anyway, I have a plan. | |
| He says, you know, I've communicated with one U.S. president, with the second and the third. | ||
| Presidents come and go, but the politics remain the same. | ||
| Do you know why that is? | ||
| Because the bureaucracy has a lot of power. | ||
| So a person is elected, he comes with his ideas, then the people with the briefcases come to visit him, well-dressed in dark suits, kind of like mine, except instead of a red or black, a red tie is a black or navy. | ||
| And then they explain what to do, and the whole rhetoric changes, you see? | ||
| This happens from one administration to the next. | ||
| And he's right. | ||
| And that's probably what it is. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And that's why there's thousands of documents that can't be released. | ||
| Because we gotta pretend. | ||
| That's why they're gonna run Biden again in 2024. Fucking wheel him out there. | ||
| We're gonna make him win. | ||
| We're gonna make Trump look like such a piece of shit. | ||
| Maybe someone from the CIA convinced Trump to sell those NFTs. | ||
| Mr. Trump, what I think you should do is say you're the greatest president ever. | ||
| Better than Lincoln, better than Washington. | ||
| You think? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Should I say that? | |
| Yeah, go say it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go say it. | |
| Like, if there was somebody on his team that was like a CIA mole, Someone who had got his trust, sort of like one of them CIA ladies that marries a drug dealer, sneaks in with the cartel or something like that. | ||
| They could do that. | ||
| If you just stroked his ego the right way, maybe that's what they did to get him to sell these NFTs. | ||
| He also made a shitload of money. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Was that 5,000 of them? | ||
| Each one 100 bucks? | ||
| Four or five million. | ||
| Four or five million bucks with Donald Trump NFTs. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Here's a JPEG. That'll pay for the maintenance on that giant plane of his for one year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy needs a lot of money to keep that party rolling. | ||
| That whole thing he's doing and the fact that he's gonna run again. | ||
| And the fact that Biden's gonna run against him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, can you imagine? | |
| If the roles were reversed, could you imagine if Trump was like almost senile, like or senile, just clearly showing signs of decline? | ||
| His son leaves a laptop in a Maryland repair shop that's filled with crazy emails that implicate Trump. | ||
| He's getting foot jobs and doing crack with street hookers in Vietnam. | ||
| Like, wild shit on that laptop. | ||
| And then they manage to hide it from Twitter. | ||
| They get Twitter to remove the links, get everybody to hide the story. | ||
| Say it's Russian disinformation. | ||
| All the federal agencies. | ||
| We believe this is all the hallmarks of Russian disinformation. | ||
| But it turns out to be real. | ||
| And then he wants to run again. | ||
| People would be in the streets! | ||
| They would be rioting! | ||
| But because it's not him, The more outrageous he acts, the more it strengthens the resolve of people who are like anybody but Trump. | ||
| And so they're willing to forgive anything that Biden has said, any lie he's told, any bullshit thing that he says doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Let him talk. | ||
| He'll say things on Twitter. | ||
| They fact check it. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| They're still better than Trump. | ||
| Better than Trump. | ||
| It's It's wild. | ||
| It's wild, dude. | ||
| That's why I'm voting Kanye. | ||
| He's got a shot now. | ||
| He didn't have a shot before, but now he's got a shot. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| How crazy? | ||
| He asked Trump to be his vice president. | ||
| That is so ridiculous. | ||
| That's so Kanye! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is so Kanye. | |
| That's such a Kanye move, you know? | ||
| You want to be my vice president? | ||
| Can you imagine if Trump said yes? | ||
| Can you imagine Trump and Kanye just hanging out on the campaign trail? | ||
| God. | ||
| That would have worked. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be a great vice president, but I don't want to be a president. | ||
| I'd be the best. | ||
| If I wanted to be a president, I'd be the best president. | ||
| The events would be interesting. | ||
| Oh, they would be incredible. | ||
| They'd be incredible. | ||
| Trump walking out on those giant stages that Kanye makes. | ||
| The CIA needs to talk him into that. | ||
| Bring Kanye back. | ||
| Bring him back. | ||
| Bring him back. | ||
| Hear that shit he said about Chappelle, that he gets all his chokes. | ||
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He doesn't handle being in this situation very well. | ||
| It's a fucked up situation, man. | ||
| How does one bounce back from all the things that he said? | ||
| Did you watch the whole Alex Jones interview? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, but when Alex is the voice of reason... | ||
| It's so insane. | ||
| Actually, the Nazis were bad guys. | ||
| Hitler was a bad guy. | ||
| Kanye's like, I love Hitler. | ||
| He's like, what? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| He can't. | ||
| He don't mean that. | ||
| He don't mean that. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| Those two together, I never thought I would ever see the day, but there's something magic about those two together. | ||
| When Kanye was wearing a mask over his whole face, like he's fucking Inkblot in The Watchmen, or Rorschach. | ||
| Fuck, I was the shit. | ||
| The Watchmen's a great movie. | ||
| I watched that again recently on a plane flight. | ||
| I was like, I forgot how good that movie is. | ||
| The Watchmen? | ||
| Yeah, it's a superhero movie, but they're not heroic. | ||
| Some of them are really bad guys. | ||
| It's almost like soldiers that have seen too much war and violence and just willing to shoot people. | ||
| It's the old DC comic, right? | ||
| Is it the same one? | ||
| Is The Watchmen a DC comic? | ||
| I thought it was a DC comic. | ||
| I remember it. | ||
| Was the original comic as dark and bleak? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was pretty bad. | ||
| I remember, wasn't it the one that had a happy face with a blood splat? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was dark. | ||
| They called him the comedian. | ||
| Yeah, Dr. Manhattan was the shit, too. | ||
| Remember you get to see Dr. Manhattan's dong? | ||
| I was on Ellen as Mr. Manhattan. | ||
| Did you watch the TV show at all? | ||
| Or just the movie? | ||
| I didn't watch the TV show. | ||
| I watched one episode, but my problem was that Dr. Manhattan was a regular guy. | ||
| Like, Dr. Manhattan was supposed to, like, dematerialize and disappear from Earth, and then he would, like, run through the hallways as a ghost in the movie. | ||
| And then he came back and, like, reformulated as Dr. Manhattan, who's basically a god. | ||
| And he would, like, have sex with his girlfriend, but he would make, like, multiple copies of him that would be constantly doing work, while the one copy of him is having sex with her, and she got all bummed out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It was a great movie, man. | ||
| I don't think I ever saw it. | ||
| But see, look at the regular guy from the show. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, he's... | ||
| So the TV show. | ||
| Right there, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, he's just not built right. | ||
| Like, Dr. Manhattan is supposed to be like the perfect Greek god sculpted out of granite. | ||
| And glows, and he's a god. | ||
| He's not a human with a t-shirt on. | ||
| Like that guy, go to the guy with a t-shirt on. | ||
| Yeah, that looks stupid. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You can't make him a regular guy. | ||
| You can't make him just a regular human. | ||
| I mean, he has to be glowing. | ||
| And he can't wear t-shirts. | ||
| And he's also supposed to be super jacked. | ||
| Like, the real one was like, that's like making the Hulk like a regular guy. | ||
| You had the Hulk? | ||
| Like, guys are bigger in real life than that guy in that t-shirt who's dressed like Dr. Manhattan. | ||
| But Dr. Manhattan looks like a bodybuilder. | ||
| I mean, he's like the perfect specimen of humanity and a god. | ||
| He can appear on other planets and build castles and shit in the sky. | ||
| You can't have a regular dude. | ||
| You can't break the rules. | ||
| That dude doesn't eat raw meat. | ||
| That guy needs to do some squats. | ||
| He needs to go to Iron Paradise with The Rock. | ||
| Okay, so if you had someone like The Rock play Dr. Manhattan, okay, I buy that. | ||
| Because that's what he's built like. | ||
| He's literally built like a superhero. | ||
| But you can't have a regular guy. | ||
| You know, come on, man. | ||
| What's his face? | ||
| That actor Zac Efron. | ||
| Zac Efron. | ||
| Have you seen his body lately? | ||
| Oh, he's becoming a pro wrestler, right? | ||
| For a movie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's he playing? | ||
| Is he playing a real pro wrestler? | ||
| I don't know which particular one, but there's a family of guys from Texas who are all really famous wrestlers, and he's one of them. | ||
| What's the names? | ||
| I'm not deep in the wrestling world. | ||
| Wish Tony was here. | ||
| He would know instantly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Instantly! | |
| Look at him now. | ||
| Jesus, he's jacked. | ||
| And if you look at a picture of the guy he's playing, he looks almost exactly like the Von Eriks. | ||
| Oh, the Von Eriks. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, they're a famous family of wrestlers. | ||
| Zac Efron's pretty crazy. | ||
| Pretty close, right? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| When he did Baywatch, he got really jacked up for Baywatch. | ||
| He said he almost died and he would never do that again. | ||
| But this is a different kind of jacked. | ||
| I think back then he got dehydrated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a lot of those guys when they do movies, the thing about being really ripped... | ||
| Look how jacked he is. | ||
| Jesus Christ, the hair is perfect. | ||
| He looks awesome. | ||
| Yeah, he looks great. | ||
| Totally natural, by the way. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| Yeah, definitely not on... | ||
| He's just eating raw liver. | ||
| But to be a guy who's built like that for a film, that's a serious fucking commitment. | ||
| That's a lot of work. | ||
| He looks great. | ||
| He looks like the guy. | ||
| But now, if you wanted to be, like, super ripped, like, that guy's just jacked, right? | ||
| But if you want to be super ripped, like, say, like, who said they did it and they got real sick? | ||
| Was it Chris Helmsworth? | ||
| You have to literally dry yourself out because you dehydrate yourself so you look really ripped. | ||
| Like, when those guys are stepping on the scale like a bodybuilding competition, they're super dehydrated. | ||
| Like, they can't wait to get water inside of them. | ||
| And that's why they look so shredded. | ||
| Yeah, look. | ||
| He was shredded. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yeah, he probably got super dehydrated there. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Look at that one with him doing a chin-up. | ||
| That one that you just passed. | ||
| I thought it was in the way. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Way to go. | ||
| Looks good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People get mad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's cheating! | |
| He did this and he did... | ||
| He really looks like that. | ||
| That's not CGI. Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, people forget about all those Hollywood people. | ||
| What's that one comedian who's all jacked now? | ||
| Camille? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, because he was like an alt guy. | ||
| You know, like, hey, you're becoming one of the bad people. | ||
| Can you imagine if, like, Zach Galifianakis or something like that just becomes super ripped? | ||
| Guys have done it, you know? | ||
| Ethan Supli. | ||
| Ethan was grossly overweight, and now he's super jacked. | ||
| He's built like a brick shithouse now. | ||
| He's a fucking tank, that guy. | ||
| And he's super dedicated. | ||
| He made an Instagram post about he brings his food with him on airplanes. | ||
| So he only eats clean all the time now. | ||
| Tom's looking amazing, man. | ||
| Look at Ethan. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| So he went from being a guy who's really, really overweight to a guy who's fucking... | ||
| He doesn't even look like the same person. | ||
| No, look at him in that one. | ||
| Look at him in that one where he's like really, really, really overweight. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| And you know, he had to get like skin cut off, all the extra skin, and he actually blew through it and had to get that a second time because he gained weight again and then lost it finally. | ||
| So he did, he gained like, I think he said, what did he say, like 100 pounds at one point in time? | ||
| So he lost all this weight, got real thin, had the skin removed, then gained weight back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| It's a hard thing, man. | ||
| It's a rollercoaster ride for people that have a problem with food. | ||
| 300 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| So he wants to weigh about 550. Jesus. | ||
| That's so big. | ||
| But kudos to him. | ||
| The beautiful thing about someone like him is he did it publicly and he shows that it can be done. | ||
| So someone was also thinking about that. | ||
| They're like, look, if that guy can do it, I can do it. | ||
| It's doable. | ||
| It's not easy. | ||
| But it's doable. | ||
| That's many years of work. | ||
| Many, many. | ||
| And you're not going to see progress immediately. | ||
| That's what's hard for people. | ||
| If you could work really hard and you look great the next day, everybody would do it. | ||
| All you have to do is one hard workout and the next day you look awesome at a party. | ||
| Just One time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Everybody would do it. | ||
| But it just takes years and years and years of eating fucking carrots and a piece of tilapia. | ||
| Did you hear about that new magic drug, weight loss drug? | ||
| Yeah, we talked about it before. | ||
| Semaglutide. | ||
| A lot of people are on it, including the Musk Man. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, he's on it. | ||
| Yeah, he posted about it. | ||
| Yeah, he posted. | ||
| He's getting ripped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, it makes you have less of an appetite, apparently. | ||
| And it might also, like, help you burn fat better. | ||
| I think it's—but a big part of it is it affects your appetite. | ||
| You get full quicker. | ||
| Yeah, I guess they're trying to throw it through the FDA as fast as possible, right? | ||
| Because it works so well or something like that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What do you think about that? | ||
| I think it's great. | ||
| Magic, finally a magic diet pill. | ||
| You gonna get on it? | ||
| Hell yeah, I'll get on it. | ||
| You're all in? | ||
| It's injections. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many? | ||
| Like once a day? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are we doing? | |
| This one is not that bad. | ||
| This one is like once a week, maybe. | ||
| There's another one that works just as well, supposedly, but that's a lot more fluid and it's like three, four times a week. | ||
| How about you do it every day? | ||
| Fuck it, let's go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's go. | |
| Jack by Summer, the Brian Red Band story. | ||
| We talked before about you and David Lucas doing a weight loss challenge. | ||
| The problem is, especially you just telling me that you don't work out, and I don't know if David works out. | ||
| I think David does work out, but probably not too rigorously. | ||
| I don't want anybody dying. | ||
| You know, I'm like, you can't have a contest where guys try to get healthy the quickest, because that's not healthy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's actually not healthy to starve yourself and work out like a demon to try to win some money. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I would definitely, you know... | ||
| I would definitely, you know, try to... | ||
| I would want to beat Dave, so I would go crazy. | ||
| I'd be eating celery. | ||
| And we were going to put a lot of money on the line. | ||
| But I started thinking about it one day when I was high, and I was like, ooh, what if someone dies? | ||
| Or what if... | ||
| And also, it would just be like, David, you know, you'll lose like 100 pounds a week, you know? | ||
| Yeah, it's like he's bigger than you too, so we couldn't make it like who weighs the less. | ||
| Right, it would have to be percentages. | ||
| Who loses the most. | ||
| Because when Bert and Tom did that weight loss challenge, they dehydrated the shit out of them. | ||
| Look at David Lucas. | ||
| Core strength is very important. | ||
| He's got core strength, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| He's pushing that thing towards his dick. | ||
| And he's looking at you. | ||
| It's a creepy stare. | ||
| It's a great stare. | ||
| He's a funny motherfucker. | ||
| When him and Tony go back and forth with each other, that's all he's eating? | ||
| Do you remember him and Tony wrestling? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tony fucked him up. | ||
| You can't just eat a brownie and say, I'm eating light. | ||
| I don't think he did. | ||
| I was kidding. | ||
| I was kidding off of that. | ||
| That wasn't his food? | ||
| No, it was. | ||
| He said that's what got brought out for dessert. | ||
| Oh, he was upset. | ||
| Give me 30 of those. | ||
| I worked out hard today. | ||
| It's hard, man. | ||
| Once you're big, it's hard. | ||
| I've never gotten big, but I've gotten bigger. | ||
| I get a little fat when I drink too much and then I eat too much pasta. | ||
| I'll go a few weeks and then I do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ew. | |
| Or I'd catch myself in the mirror and my fucking stomach is hanging out. | ||
| But I bounce back quick. | ||
| As long as I just... | ||
| Train smart or where I'm working out and really like getting after it every day and making sure I don't eat stupid shit, my body bounces back quick. | ||
| The problem is when you let that happen, like if I got fat for like a month and then it was a second month, the next thing you know I'm 30 pounds overweight, not 8 pounds overweight, but 30 pounds overweight, like yo, that's when it gets rough, you know? | ||
| And then you get into this habit. | ||
| I like getting up in the morning and eating pastries. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| No. | ||
| I do though. | ||
| I do while I'm eating them. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| That's why they're so hard to not eat. | ||
| If you could have like chocolate croissants every day, the best ones with like the gooey chocolate inside of them, nothing? | ||
| No, I don't like stuff like that. | ||
| What about Krispy Kreme? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hot. | |
| Hot. | ||
| Right from the oven. | ||
| I mean, that's okay. | ||
| Don't lie. | ||
| I'd rather be ice cream. | ||
| You and I were coming home from a gig and we were in the car and I'm like, Brian, the hot sign is on. | ||
| Joe, what are you talking about? | ||
| You know the hot time with Krispy Kreme? | ||
| If you don't know Krispy Kreme, folks, when the donuts are right out of the oven, they're the best. | ||
| They're always good. | ||
| They're always delicious. | ||
| But when they're right out of the oven, it's special. | ||
| They're fucking warm. | ||
| And they melt in your mouth. | ||
| And they're sensational. | ||
| Those little glazed ones, those maple glazed ones. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Bro, you can... | ||
| Jamie Vernon's Instagram. | ||
| I remember seeing this. | ||
| I saw a red light after I had a good dinner. | ||
| Look at all the fucking steam coming off them and shit. | ||
| I never had one with the light on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| I've only had it like a 7-Eleven or something. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| You need to catch Krispy Kreme when they get that. | ||
| You should wait for them. | ||
| It's like, I'm not ready to buy yet. | ||
| When's that light coming on? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember the line used to be insane, like a mile long in Burbank. | ||
| It's drugs. | ||
| They're selling drugs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're selling sugar. | ||
| It's a potent drug, man. | ||
| I used to get them all the time. | ||
| You know, if I was coming home from a gig and I was a little tired, I'd make the worst food choices. | ||
| And Krispy Kreme was open pretty late. | ||
| You know, you just scoot in there, get yourself some chocolate cream-filled donuts. | ||
| You have so many of them, too. | ||
| You don't just have one. | ||
| You don't have one like you normally would everywhere else. | ||
| I would buy a dozen for my family. | ||
| I'm not an asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Instantly. | |
| I want to share it with everybody. | ||
| When my family and I, when we would go to Maui, one of the first things we did when we rented a car, there's a Krispy Kreme on the way to the beach from the airport, like right out of the airport, like, oh. | ||
| So it was like a thing we did. | ||
| And every year we did it, we're like, we're not doing this again. | ||
| Because we're all like, oh, you eat three or four of those fucking things, and then you feel like shit when you're at the beach, like, oh my god, I feel terrible. | ||
| I'm going through an insulin spike right now. | ||
| My body doesn't know what the fuck to do. | ||
| I'm crashing hard. | ||
| I was on a plane with someone who brought a suitcase of White Castle burgers with them. | ||
| I had White Castle a month ago in Vegas. | ||
| Man, that shit's so good. | ||
| What percentage of that is actually meat? | ||
| Well, it's very thin meat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's not much meat, but it's meat. | ||
| Are they doing it like McDonald's does, though? | ||
| Doesn't McDonald's have some shenanigans going on? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Wasn't there some goo? | ||
| Remember? | ||
| Subway. | ||
| I don't want to speak out a term, but I feel like it's like the McRib had something in it. | ||
| Well, let's find out. | ||
| There was something about the beef in McDonald's hamburgers. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| Because, like, there was one company that, like, trademarked the 100% beef thing. | ||
| Did TikTok was exposed how McDonald's McRib is cooked? | ||
| This is true. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's true. | ||
| I love about storing and cooking it, though. | ||
| I don't know if it's talking about what's in it. | ||
| Yeah, but try burger. | ||
| Just Google... | ||
| This is what I want you to Google. | ||
| I want you to Google McDonald's beef additives. | ||
| Butthole. | ||
| Butthole. | ||
| All together. | ||
| In that order. | ||
| Don't just start with butthole. | ||
| You fuck up the search. | ||
| Every one of our McDonald's burgers is made with 100% pure beef. | ||
| Right, but here's what I want you to Google. | ||
| There's no additives. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay, so it's all beef. | ||
| Google the term, because this was the rumor, was that the term 100% pure beef was copyrighted. | ||
| By McDonald's. | ||
| So they could say 100% pure beef, but... | ||
| Are you talking about Taco Bell? | ||
| No, Taco Bell definitely has some stuff in there. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They put Frisbees. | ||
| So this seems like one of those... | ||
| It was bullshit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a rumor it was 100% pure beef. | ||
| And I was like, this is false. | ||
| Oh, it is false. | ||
| So was there any... | ||
| At any time, did McDonald's have stuff in their beef other than beef? | ||
| Is that a more recent thing? | ||
| It's amazing how they sell cheeseburgers and In-N-Out sells cheeseburgers and In-N-Out takes longer to get your cheeseburger but you're gonna go in that line What line, Joe? | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| The In-N-Out by Me never has a line. | ||
| I get to go right to the drive-thru. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| In California, they have a line. | ||
| I know. | ||
| How come they don't have a line on here? | ||
| You know, where I live, there's literally an In-N-Out, a Waterbury, every P. Terry's. | ||
| Everything is all lined up, and everyone goes to all the other places. | ||
| P. Terry's is good. | ||
| Yeah, In-N-Out, though, man. | ||
| Not having to line at In-Out. | ||
| But P. Terry's is legit. | ||
| I love P. Terry's. | ||
| They're legit. | ||
| And they do that lettuce wrap, too. | ||
| They'll give you a lettuce. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The number one, for me, is Five Guys. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| You can't go wrong. | ||
| It's the best burger. | ||
| Plus, you can get jalapenos on it, and they have milkshakes. | ||
| No, they don't have milkshakes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they do. | |
| Some of them don't. | ||
| Some do, some don't. | ||
| You can get bacon, jalapenos, and bacon on your cheeseburger, and they're the shit, and they give you peanuts. | ||
| Good fries. | ||
| The fries are bomb, dig it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wish they had the cheese sauce, like the Shake Shack has. | ||
| Don't fuck you up, though. | ||
| You know another one that was really good? | ||
| It's underrated. | ||
| Fuddruckers. | ||
| Ostrich burger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get a rare ostrich burger at Fuddruckers and put all that cheese sauce on it and fucking onions and all that stuff. | ||
| Where have you been going to Fuddruckers at, though? | ||
| We used to go to the one in Burbank. | ||
| It closed. | ||
| Oh, that was a good one. | ||
| Yeah, I think Fuddruckers is out of business now. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| They should have just sold ostrich burgers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eddie Bravo and I would lift weights at the 24-hour fitness in Woodland Hills, and then we would go to fucking Fuddruckers afterwards. | ||
| Chow down. | ||
| That was like our thing. | ||
| Get baked as fuck. | ||
| Go to Fuddruckers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Yeah, Fuddruckers is great. | ||
| Talk about aliens. | ||
| We were 29-year-old, 12-year-olds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| There's something about those kind of burgers, you know, like a fucking, just a hot burger with melted cheese and like a, like Philip makes. | ||
| Oh, the best. | ||
| Amazing ones. | ||
| A little spicy, though. | ||
| It kind of fucks my, it fucked my asshole up. | ||
| What are they called? | ||
| Not a damn chance? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those are damn good. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Those are real good. | ||
| The seasoning on this. | ||
| But there's something about that. | ||
| Burgers are so fucking satisfying. | ||
| When you're hungry, look at that. | ||
| Look at that thing with the pickles and the melted cheese. | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| And that's from a Michelin star chef. | ||
| I mean, that's incredible. | ||
| Those are incredible. | ||
| There's a lot of really good food in Austin, man. | ||
| We're very lucky. | ||
| Except if you're trying to beat David Lucas in a weight loss competition. | ||
| So I went to Thanksgiving at his house, you know, and him and his wife cooked. | ||
| And man, that was the second year in a row I went to his house for Thanksgiving. | ||
| And you can't beat his Thanksgiving. | ||
| Imagine him making Thanksgiving. | ||
| It was so crazy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Big guys know how to eat. | ||
| Not David Lucas. | ||
| No, I'm talking about Philip. | ||
| Oh, I thought you said David. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Oh, that's even better. | ||
| Yeah, for the last two years, we've gone to Philip's house and him and his wife... | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| I was like, I didn't know David was a good guy. | ||
| Oh, well, Philip. | ||
| You went to Philip's house for Thanksgiving? | ||
| That's cheating. | ||
| It was the best ever. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| I was just with Jesse Griffiths. | ||
| From Dai Due, the chef at Dai Due, I was in hunting camp with him in South Texas, and he cooked every day for us. | ||
| It was insane, insane. | ||
| They shot ducks, and he cooked the ducks up. | ||
| He shot a pig, and they turned the pig into these Indian curries, three different Indian curries. | ||
| It was sensational. | ||
| It was so good. | ||
| I made videos. | ||
| I'll put the videos up online later. | ||
| Have you found a place out here that does Fog Raw? | ||
| Yeah, there's places. | ||
| There's quite a few places that do it. | ||
| Jay Carvers does it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, that place is great. | ||
| You ever go to that place? | ||
| No. | ||
| I haven't gotten to many places. | ||
| I stay up north so much. | ||
| Well, you're in the fucking boonies, son, but I like where you live. | ||
| It's quiet. | ||
| You know, like Tim Dillon, like, out where he's at, like, those kind of places, those are nice, man. | ||
| It's just so peaceful at night, and it's like you see the stars, and those bedroom communities, those sort of sleepy communities, until you get a murder-suicide down the block, they're nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Until you hear, bang! | ||
| Bang! | ||
| Like, shit. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Other than that, those sleepy communities are awesome. | ||
| It's just like you're more in the country. | ||
| You must have deer in your yard every day. | ||
| Not as much deer. | ||
| Mostly the bobcats and weird animals like that. | ||
| We also have a lot of armadillos and... | ||
| I see dead armadillos everywhere. | ||
| That's such a Texas animal. | ||
| But I've never seen them alive. | ||
| They've always just been on this side of the road. | ||
| Coyotes, too. | ||
| A lot of coyotes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I heard a lot of them in South Texas. | ||
| They were howling at night. | ||
| It's something... | ||
| Look, I don't want them near me, but it's something cool about the fact that they're out there. | ||
| Even wolves, man. | ||
| Imagine living in Montana and hearing wolves at night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| Did you hear about that chick that shot a husky because she said it was a wolf or something? | ||
| Oh, that's awful. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| Well, the thing about shooting something with a gun is you're looking at it through a rifle scope from, you know, hundreds of yards away. | ||
| You could think a husky was a wolf. | ||
| And if it's in wolf country, you would assume it's a wolf. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| Isn't it funny that, like, they look so similar, but one of them really bums you out? | ||
| A wolf bums me out if someone shoots it, but they have to keep their populations in check. | ||
| Wolves, there's a reason why they eradicated wolves from the West back in the day, and it's not because they're awesome. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's the same reason why they stopped World War I, so that the Russians and the Germans made a ceasefire, because so many of them were getting killed by wolves. | ||
| Like, wolves are rough. | ||
| I mean, they're fucking amazing. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I'm happy that wolves are real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you don't want a lot of them around. | |
| You don't want a lot of them around where there's not a lot of food, especially now if you like your kids and you like your dog. | ||
| That's where all that Little Red Riding Hood shit, the Big Bad Wolf, that was real. | ||
| Back when guns weren't so good, when they wrote those stories, you couldn't really shoot that many wolves. | ||
| You really couldn't eradicate them. | ||
| It wasn't easy to do. | ||
| It's still not easy to do with guns. | ||
| The way they do it is with poison. | ||
| The way they killed the wolves in the West was they would shoot a horse and they would inject the horse with poison, like cyanide. | ||
| They would put it in its veins and pump cyanide through the horse's body. | ||
| And then the wolves would eat the carcass and they would all die. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it didn't work with the coyotes. | ||
| Coyotes are too slick. | ||
| They couldn't poison them. | ||
| They could poison a few here and there, but then they would figure it out. | ||
| Because they'd do the roll call, and then the females would have more pups, and then they would spread their branches out. | ||
| They would move to different parts of the state, and they just kept expanding. | ||
| So the more they tried to kill wolves off, the more they made more coyotes. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, the wolves would chase the coyotes away from the dead horses. | ||
| They wouldn't let them eat it. | ||
| So the wolves would just gorge on it, fucking tear it apart, and then they would all croak. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Hmm. | ||
| Isn't that wild? | ||
| And then in the 1990s, they're like, oh, we made a mistake. | ||
| We're going to bring wolves back. | ||
| They dropped them off in Yellowstone, and they just fucking decimated all those poor animals, didn't know what a wolf was. | ||
| Imagine there's no wolves. | ||
| You're an elk, having a great time. | ||
| People like to take selfies with you, that's fine. | ||
| There was no selfies back then, but, you know, photos, whatever. | ||
| And then, you know, all of a sudden there's wolves. | ||
| The clean-up crew. | ||
| You ever seen this picture? | ||
| This guy riding an elk. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Missoula, Montana. | ||
| 1910. Wow. | ||
| He put a fucking saddle on an elk. | ||
| Santa Claus. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Imagine if that thing just decides to fucking swing its head and stab him in the neck. | ||
| Look at the antlers on that fucker. | ||
| This guy's riding a moose. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Is that a painting? | ||
| No, it's just an old picture. | ||
| A shitty old painting? | ||
| Or a shitty old photograph, rather? | ||
| That is wild, man. | ||
| That dude's riding the moose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not. | |
| That's a... | ||
| That's a moose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's Canadian. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's a cow moose. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I know, but... | ||
| Doesn't look real? | ||
| Doesn't look like a real photo. | ||
| Looks real to me, but I'm gullible. | ||
| The lighting seems real. | ||
| They already got me with that father-son thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The lighting just seems off on this as well. | |
| Does it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It does seem weird. | ||
| It seems it could be real. | ||
| I'm not going full fake, but just that something seems off. | ||
| I think you're right about the face of the moose looks a little sketch. | ||
| He doesn't seem to fit in that. | ||
| The lighting on the trees isn't matching what's on him and the moose and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, it seems like it got cut and pasted onto a different background. | ||
| I've seen better Photoshop jobs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what makes a good Photoshop most of that blending. | ||
| That's what tricks everyone. | ||
| You're really good at it or you're not. | ||
| You want to throw that through a filter and see what we find? | ||
| Do it like they did with Obama's birth certificate? | ||
| Look at that one. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That looks real. | ||
| What is that elk riding? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| See, that looks fake to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That looks fake. | |
| The difference between her blanket and the elk's body. | ||
| You're not wrong. | ||
| That does look kind of fake. | ||
| That looks fake. | ||
| That looks really fake. | ||
| Yeah, it looks really fake. | ||
| Like, all the difference between her blanket and that elk's body looks fake to me. | ||
| Yeah, there's no shadow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Also, go back to that one again. | ||
| Go back to that one again. | ||
| That one looks real. | ||
| Stuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| They've changed something on how these pictures work. | ||
| Yeah, it's so annoying. | ||
| Control it the same way it used to. | ||
| Scroll down and see if you can find it. | ||
| So here's the other problem with this. | ||
| She's not in any control of that elk. | ||
| Right, she's just holding onto the saddle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, that's fake for sure. | ||
| Yeah, it's just a fake green screen. | ||
| Yeah, it looks fake. | ||
| But I guarantee you someone's ridden a fucking elk. | ||
| I guarantee you there's been a dude who put a fucking saddle on everything. | ||
| They probably would try to ride polar bears. | ||
| People are assholes. | ||
| They probably try. | ||
| I mean, look, Santa's reindeer. | ||
| I mean, they had reindeers pulling sleds. | ||
| Did you see the video of the guy smoking a cigarette riding a bull? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Now, this I'm pretty sure is real. | ||
| They're like, this is the greatest sporting achievement of all time. | ||
| He's smoking while he's riding a bull? | ||
| He's got like a cast on one arm, too. | ||
| He's just squeezing it with his legs. | ||
| It looks so real it could be fake, too. | ||
| It's like it's so crazy of a thing. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Thank God for stupidity. | ||
| Is the bull the same as, like, a longhorn? | ||
| Or is that something different? | ||
| It's a different kind of, oh, wow, that looks real as fuck, dude. | ||
| The guy's got a cast on his arm. | ||
| It's the part of the bull part. | ||
| He's on the bull. | ||
| He's on it for a whole time. | ||
| He rides it until it's tired. | ||
| No, he's not even holding on. | ||
| He's just going with it while he's smoking a cigarette. | ||
| That looks real as fuck, dude. | ||
| He's just a bad man. | ||
| And that's not like the best bull at kicking people off. | ||
| That bull seems like he's been tranquilized. | ||
| Oh, he almost lost it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He almost gets knocked off. | |
| He gets back on. | ||
| Well, he's got... | ||
| His stirrups are tied in real tight, obviously. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His feet are being held in? | ||
| His feet are held in real tight, and the bull just gave up. | ||
| He's like, fuck it. | ||
| Nope, one more job. | ||
| I'm going to shake this dude off me. | ||
| He doesn't like it. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| How are his feet? | ||
| No, so his feet aren't tight. | ||
| But they probably undid it there. | ||
| He would die if that happened, though. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It looks like he's just pinching with his legs. | ||
| He just got to squeeze. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Imagine that guy's guard. | ||
| He's probably the best jiu-jitsu guard of all time. | ||
| He'll probably capture you. | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That guy would have the best triangle ever in history. | ||
| But if you think, like, you just squeeze with your legs, your legs are so much bigger than your arms. | ||
| You ever seen that video of a guy, the bull comes at him and he grabs the bull in a headlock and throws the bull over the top of him? | ||
| The bull comes down. | ||
| He clamps a hold of the bull's head and rolls with it and gets on top of the bull. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And guys were sending it to me like, imagine this guy's head and arm choke. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| BJ Penn actually sent it to me. | ||
| Oh, hilarious. | ||
| And he's like, dude, guillotines for days. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, look at this guy's choke. | ||
| This guy's got an insane choke. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| That's one. | ||
| That's a different one. | ||
| That's not the same one. | ||
| This guy headlocked it and he rolled it over the top. | ||
| Like the bull came towards him and he grabbed a hold of the neck, got to the side, and this is a different one too. | ||
| But I think people probably got good at that. | ||
| So he's hanging on to it while they let it go. | ||
| The guy's holding his tail. | ||
| It says he slams it. | ||
| So let's see. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| So the guy's holding his tail. | ||
| That's kind of cheating. | ||
| The other guy wasn't holding the head. | ||
| There wasn't a guy holding the tail with the other guy. | ||
| This guy's just hanging on to the neck. | ||
| But again, oh, he's tripping it. | ||
| Oh, he's a wrestler. | ||
| That guy's got to be a wrestler. | ||
| And he took it down. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's a very young bull. | ||
| The other one, the bull had horns. | ||
| And the bull was coming at him and he clamped a hole of the bull's neck and flipped it to the ground. | ||
| This is it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| That's all grip, bro. | ||
| Look at that guy's grip. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Show that again. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Watch how this guy does this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| He comes at the guy. | ||
| The guy grabs a hold of it. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Over the top. | ||
| And hangs on. | ||
| This dude is a hell of a grappler. | ||
| Like, that squeeze is fucking amazing. | ||
| Look how he's got a hold of the horns, holding on to it. | ||
| You just don't want to let go. | ||
| We probably didn't see the end. | ||
| Where he mauls him. | ||
| Yeah, eventually let's go, and that bull sticks a horn right up his asshole. | ||
| There's a lot of those videos, dude, of matadors. | ||
| Remember when it was hard to see something fucked up? | ||
| Remember when we were kids? | ||
| I just found a new website that's... | ||
| Remember, what's the one that they used to have? | ||
| LiveLeak? | ||
| LiveLeak. | ||
| It's like the new LiveLeak. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| There was one person got run over a New York subway. | ||
| It's just a meat... | ||
| Clothing and meat. | ||
| It's where they find their clips for your mom's house. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I have no idea where they're getting that stuff from. | ||
| It's called like USA Crime or something weird. | ||
| Like you can tell it's a website. | ||
| I think with your mom's house, it's a lot of donations. | ||
| It's a lot of people sending it in. | ||
| Not donations, contributions. | ||
| Freelance contributions. | ||
| Yeah, freelance. | ||
| Have you done one of their live shows? | ||
| Not the live shows. | ||
| Dude, they're rough. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like that stuff. | |
| I've seen a lot, but it was shocking to me. | ||
| I had to gag multiple times and turn my face away from the screen. | ||
| Multiple times. | ||
| A lot of shit stuff. | ||
| A lot of people eating shit and smearing shit all over themselves, smearing it on their dicks, and you're like, what? | ||
| Yeah, they broke Bobby Lee the other way. | ||
| Oh, they'll break everybody, man. | ||
| Tom and Christina are sick people. | ||
| They are. | ||
| They're sick people. | ||
| But what they've done is an amazing achievement. | ||
| It's brilliant, the way they thought of it. | ||
| They're like, let's do a show where we see stuff that we would watch, like if we were friends, we're just all hanging out, and we couldn't broadcast it anywhere because it would get removed. | ||
| It's illegal. | ||
| But if we make people pay to see it, it's totally legal. | ||
| And we could just have this thing, we sign up, we'll map out, and they hired producers from Saturday Night Live, like real people. | ||
| They have sketches. | ||
| It's a great show. | ||
| I enjoyed the shit out of it. | ||
| And after I left, I was like, dude, that is a great fucking show. | ||
| Like, what you've done is amazing. | ||
| It's a pay-per-view event. | ||
| They do them like once every couple months or something like that. | ||
| And when they do them, they're fucking nuts. | ||
| They wait until they have enough sketches and enough fucked up videos and then they bring in a guest and freak them the fuck out. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| What did Bobby leave? | ||
| They gave him a puke bucket? | ||
| He got very angry about what he was saying. | ||
| It was great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did Bobby do the show, JRE? No, he hasn't been on ever. | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Has he been on in the past? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Way, way, way back in the day. | ||
| Episode 4 or 5 or something. | ||
| Okay, that's right. | ||
| He hasn't been on since, but I wouldn't 100% have him on. | ||
| Yeah, he was in town the other day to do that at your mom's house, and he came to the secret show, and he did a spot and hung out with him. | ||
| I haven't hung out with him so long. | ||
| He seems so happy now, so it's really cool to see a happy Bobby. | ||
| He's a lot more free. | ||
| I'm very happy for him. | ||
| He's a great person. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| He's a sweetheart of a guy. | ||
| If you don't like Bobby Lee, man, I think that's on you. | ||
| I don't know how you could not love that guy. | ||
| And he's fucking hilarious. | ||
| His stand-up is fucking hilarious. | ||
| I've been busting his balls for years trying to get him to do a special. | ||
| But, you know, if you go see him live, you will not be disappointed. | ||
| He's very fucking funny. | ||
| He's the funniest guy that doesn't have a special, for sure. | ||
| No one's even close. | ||
| He's a murderer. | ||
| He would go to the comedy store in the fucking OR and just destroy. | ||
| Destroy! | ||
| Bobby destroys. | ||
| And he performs so good. | ||
| He's so enthusiastic. | ||
| Hopefully he'll put together a special, but if he doesn't, go see him live. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| And he's just a good dude. | ||
| I'm happy to see him happy. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| And I bet his DMs are filled with bomb diggers. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| There's a lot of girls who want to take up where Kalilah left off. | ||
| Let me show you some next level. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But now they also realize they could get famous if they're Bobby Lee's girlfriend. | ||
| There's probably a lot of those girls. | ||
| They're so dangerous nowadays. | ||
| So he's got to duck them. | ||
| You've got to know which one's a sociopath. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which one's pretending they like you. | ||
| Which one just really likes funny guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You know who's fucking hilarious? | ||
| Stavos? | ||
| Have you had Stavos on Kill Tony before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| You know, I don't know him, but I see him all over the place. | ||
| Dude, he's so funny. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| He's so funny on stage. | ||
| He fucking murdered at the Vulcan. | ||
| He was really funny, but he's really funny as a podcast guest, too. | ||
| He's just a fun dude, man. | ||
| What's his style of comedy like? | ||
| A lot of crazy stories and talking shit, and he's just fucking great. | ||
| Just free. | ||
| He's like one of those up-and-coming new crop of just... | ||
| Gunslingers. | ||
| I heard he's taking a break from stand-up comedy to lose weight. | ||
| He's trying to get healthy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think he's coming off a big tour. | ||
| He just wants to get healthy. | ||
| His brother's a fitness trainer. | ||
| You talked about that on the podcast, too. | ||
| He's Greek, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Super Greek. | ||
| He knows everything about Greece. | ||
| Greek gods, Greek this, Greek that. | ||
| Gyros. | ||
| How do you pronounce his last name? | ||
| Halkius. | ||
| Halkius. | ||
| That's a fucking great name, son. | ||
| Stavos Halkius. | ||
| He didn't do it here, but he'll lean into this Baltimore accident right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I asked my chiropractor for a happy ending. | |
| Um, now that we got that out of the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck the Steelers, yo! | |
| Let's fucking go Ravens, baby! | ||
| The Steelers fucking suck dick! | ||
| Pittsburgh sucks dick, yo! | ||
| Fucking Kenny only throws pickets. | ||
| You see his ass faking an injury because he was too scared to face the Ravens defense, yo? | ||
| That hit wasn't nothing, yo. | ||
| If that was me, I would've eaten that shit up. | ||
| Fucking touchdown pass the next play, yo. | ||
| But not everybody's built like a fucking champion like me or Joe Flacco. | ||
| Who New York Joe should've kept in the game so that they could defeat the Bills, by the way. | ||
| Anyway, Kenny's fucking too scared to play, so who do y'all throw in there? | ||
| That's a character. | ||
| He does. | ||
| Obviously, that's a character. | ||
| He's doing a Baltimore goof. | ||
| That reminded me. | ||
| Pat from Imanaki died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Baby Bird. | ||
| I was there with you. | ||
| Oh, that was crazy. | ||
| That, to this day, is the craziest experience I've ever had broadcasting anything. | ||
| That was nuts. | ||
| When I proposed that idea, I was joking around. | ||
| I didn't think that guy would really lean his head off the edge of a garbage can and let that guy throw up in his mouth. | ||
| It was so much puke. | ||
| It was so crazy. | ||
| If you haven't seen it, folks, Google Baby Bird ONA. The ONA days, man. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| That was real. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't seem like it. | ||
| We watched it recently. | ||
| Didn't we on Protect Our Parks? | ||
| Yeah, just in case someone didn't watch that. | ||
| Pal Talk. | ||
| It's still around. | ||
| I forgot about Pal Talk. | ||
| It's Pal Talk. | ||
| They were the first guys to do that. | ||
| They were broadcasting live on Pal Talk while they were on the radio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who owns... | |
| What is Pal Talk now? | ||
| You know, like, did they get bought out in their... | ||
| Elon bought it and shut it down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He needs to bring back Vine. | ||
| He was going to, wasn't he? | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| It's still open, Pal Talk. | ||
| Pal Talk is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| That was Strangers. | ||
| Might have rebranded a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, this is probably a different company anyway. | ||
| I remember when you had it back then, you had... | ||
| No, I think that's it. | ||
| When you had it back then, it had to be PC. That's why I never had it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because you couldn't use it on a Mac. | ||
| And that was back when I was trying to not play video games. | ||
| Livestreams only on Palotalk. | ||
| Oh, there it goes. | ||
| So there's shows that livestream only. | ||
| But that was the first sort of internet version of the radio show, where they would stream both on the internet and on the radio at the same time. | ||
| The O&A days, man. | ||
| For people, you know, it's hard now to believe that there was no podcasts at one point in time. | ||
| But there was a show where all the comics would go and just fuck around. | ||
| And it was great. | ||
| And Bill Burr was like a regular on it almost every day. | ||
| DePaulo, Burr. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Patrice. | |
| Patrice was the man. | ||
| If it was a Patrice episode of O&A, you knew it was going to be great. | ||
| Rich Voss, Jim Norton. | ||
| I mean, those guys were fucking great. | ||
| It was a great show. | ||
| Monster rain. | ||
| It was a great show, man. | ||
| It was a fucking great show. | ||
| It was so much fun. | ||
| And for young, stupid guys like me, it was like, oh my god, there's a thing like this? | ||
| And people say that they ripped off Howard... | ||
| It was certainly influenced by Howard. | ||
| There's no doubt. | ||
| Everybody was influenced by Howard, including me. | ||
| But what they did was different because they had a hang. | ||
| And that's what we did. | ||
| We did like Ice House Chronicles and we did all those shows that we did. | ||
| We were doing a version of O&A. Absolutely. | ||
| When we did those shows at the Ice House in Pasadena where you would go on stage and then the comics would switch out depending on who's on stage. | ||
| Like, who's up? | ||
| Like, how much time do I have? | ||
| And it was right across the hallway. | ||
| So we'd run from the podcast studio right to the stage. | ||
| It was so fun, man. | ||
| It was the best. | ||
| It was so fun. | ||
| You should do something like that at your comedy club. | ||
| We 100% should do something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we're going to have it set up at the comedy club where when you guys are doing Kill Tony, there'll be another room with an open mic going on simultaneously. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you could actually practice. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| So you might be able to do a set at the open mic and then go do Kill Tony where you'll be hot. | ||
| You'll get off stage, you have a good set, and then go bang it out on the internet in front of hundreds of thousands of people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can't wait. | ||
| Having a setup like we had back then was so encouraging for comedy. | ||
| Because that was when I was kicked out of the store and we were trying to find some other places to go and things to do. | ||
| So the Ice House became our spot for a long time. | ||
| That's where we met young Jamie. | ||
| They're going to reopen soon. | ||
| Yeah, I heard. | ||
| I want to see it so bad. | ||
| Yeah, I wonder what they did. | ||
| They remodeled something, which is... | ||
| It was perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if I bought the Ice House, I would be like, we're not touching anything! | ||
| Don't touch anything. | ||
| But a lot needed... | ||
| Ah! | ||
| Fix the toilet. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Ceilings. | ||
| Remember, I would come into work or come into my studio and there would just be ceiling and water all over my shit every day. | ||
| But that's the thing about California. | ||
| There's leaky roofs and you don't find out about it until it only rains once a year. | ||
| Yeah, but that was just his old ass building. | ||
| It used to be a real ice house. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Back in the day, the ice house was a place where people would buy ice. | ||
| And then it was a music venue for a little while. | ||
| And then it became the Ice House, the Comedy Club. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That place was the shit. | ||
| You know, it was such a good room that agents would not accept tapes from the Ice House because they thought it was too easy to kill there. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It was almost like a cheat code because it felt like you were at a road show. | ||
| You know, so the audiences, it wasn't LA audiences. | ||
| Yeah, they weren't jaded. | ||
| They're from Pasadena. | ||
| It was like regular people. | ||
| They weren't like industry people. | ||
| It was a totally different vibe. | ||
| It was like Killian Columbus or something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we're kind of jaded because we live in Texas and it's the best audiences in the world. | ||
| They're the best. | ||
| But we always used to say that about Texas. | ||
| Remember back in the day, we'd do like the Addison Improv or the Laugh Factory or something like that, or the Laugh Stop, rather. | ||
| We were like, they're the best down here. | ||
| They're just fucking partying. | ||
| They're fun. | ||
| They're just fun fucking people. | ||
| And they're not poisoned by show business, you know? | ||
| Used to go on that Dale show. | ||
| Remember the radio show? | ||
| He got let go recently. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah, after how many years has he done that? | ||
| Yeah, well, they all, you know... | ||
| I mean, I don't know what anybody could have done back then in terms of, like, do a podcast simultaneously, because I think probably a lot of their contracts said they couldn't do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because that's what happened with Anthony. | ||
| When Anthony was doing Live from the Compound, which is the most ridiculous show ever, it also inspired us. | ||
| The two things that inspired us the most were Tom Green, for sure. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because remember when we went to his house, we were like, holy shit, he's got a talk show. | ||
| But he did it almost like an internet version of a traditional talk show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And then the other thing was ONA. But ONA was The Hang, and then Anthony Cumia, you're like, whoa, you can do that from your house, too? | ||
| Where it's like, just you set this thing up, just like Tom Green did, and just have chaos? | ||
| And, you know, have Anthony Cumia-style chaos? | ||
| Like, oh, shit. | ||
| There was all these things that set the table for us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It was always so fun because every week we'd find like a new microphone. | ||
| We'd upgrade all the cameras. | ||
| It was so fun back then. | ||
| It was constant shopping. | ||
| It's crazy back then how many people told us we were wasting our time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that interesting? | ||
| Because it's like everybody thought it was just a giant waste of time. | ||
| Like even Segura. | ||
| Segura leaving the show was like, what is he doing? | ||
| Remember he had a conversation with you? | ||
| Why is he doing this? | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Now he's one of the biggest podcasters in the world. | ||
| Dude, I did a show Tuesday, Wednesday, and his new studio is like a legit production company studio with tons of employees and shit. | ||
| Yeah, like way more employees than I have. | ||
| And everybody's running around doing different things. | ||
| They have green rooms, like green screen rooms. | ||
| Danny Brown's room. | ||
| Danny Brown's show, yeah. | ||
| Dr. Drew. | ||
| Danny Brown is funny as fuck. | ||
| Danny is hilarious. | ||
| Oh my god, his show is so funny. | ||
| He's like one of the great ranters. | ||
| There's a few people that are just so good at ranting. | ||
| It's such a beautiful skill to just be able to talk shit about everything. | ||
| And the thing about your mom's house too is they have those guys that are working there that are in the booth and they're all laughing too. | ||
| So Danny Brown's talking even more. | ||
| It's like the Tim Dillon situation where he's got an audience of one, you know, which is nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nice. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yeah, what's next, buddy? | ||
| You think virtual? | ||
| I know you do a lot of stuff. | ||
| I'm still on virtual, yeah. | ||
| But you do it more like silly. | ||
| It's like fun stuff. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I mean, you know, I think what Meta's version of the future is not... | ||
| I think it's more... | ||
| a little bit different than that. | ||
| I feel kind of bad that... | ||
| They're going bankrupt and spending billions of dollars a year and shit like that. | ||
| I feel that didn't work out as good as he thought it was. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| I remember when he came on the podcast, I was enthusiastic about it. | ||
| I'm like, well, he's fucking hit home runs every time. | ||
| But the thing is, like, people are still weirded out about putting goggles on and going to a world that's not really there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No, I was talking to Christina and Tom the other day, and Christina's like, you look so stupid. | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| I hate looking at people doing the VR thing. | ||
| Because I guess she goes to the mall and does all that shit all the time with her kids. | ||
| And Tom was like, oh, I want to buy one. | ||
| So he's going to get one. | ||
| I'll tell you what they're good for. | ||
| It's workouts. | ||
| Workouts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And exercise. | ||
| You do the boxing one, you will get a fucking serious workout. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it's like it forces you to punch. | ||
| And you're like punching in the air, like just punching in the air with not hitting anything is actually kind of more exhausting sometimes, especially when you're punching fast because you've got to decelerate too. | ||
| Whereas when you're punching something like a heavy bag, you can just punch it and hit it. | ||
| There's a different thing. | ||
| You'll be able to generate more power by punching and hitting it because you're hitting it and you're actually almost like lifting weights when you're pushing the bag off because there's resistance. | ||
| So it builds your power. | ||
| For a workout, man. | ||
| Having those little things on your hands and you see the boxing gloves in front of you and the guy comes at you, it's wild, man. | ||
| It's hard to do. | ||
| The only problem, I think, is it's too big right now to really take it to the next level for working out. | ||
| It gets hot. | ||
| You've got this big plastic thing on your face. | ||
| But I think in the future when it gets smaller and it gets more like goggles or glasses. | ||
| It'll be like those Brian Bosworth sunglasses. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Once it gets to that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember those? | ||
| Yeah, what are those? | ||
| Oakleys? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Remember the Boz? | ||
| Yeah, fucking Boz. | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| What happened to that guy? | ||
| Well, he became a movie. | ||
| He was a football player, but he fucked his shoulder up. | ||
| And then he went from football to the movies. | ||
| He was a movie star in like a couple of movies. | ||
| Then I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know what happened. | |
| Is he still around? | ||
| Where's Brian Bosworth? | ||
| There he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What happened? | |
| He was all over the place for a while. | ||
| Look at that handsome bastard. | ||
| There's a few of those football players that transitioned to become movie stars that just gave it up. | ||
| Like Howie Long was another one. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| How he's on TV as a football analyst, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he was a movie star for a while, remember? | ||
| Frigerator Perry, remember him? | ||
| Oh yeah, but I don't think he did movies. | ||
| So Bosworth is still around? | ||
| What does he do now? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Dude, he was a tank. | ||
| That's him now. | ||
| Wow, he is still around. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He looks better now. | ||
| Look at that sultry looking motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, but apparently he knew his shoulder was fucked up when he got signed. | ||
| But he was like a giant superstar. | ||
| I think part of it was a talented player, but part of it was the look and the image and all this shit. | ||
| Where's he at now? | ||
| Oklahoma. | ||
| He's in Oklahoma? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he still around? | |
| He's in a bunch of movies. | ||
| Did The Longest Yard, One Tough Bastard, Stone Cold. | ||
| That's the one he did. | ||
| That was the big one in 1991. Oh, no. | ||
| 96 was the last one? | ||
| Midnight Heat? | ||
| They're not in order or anything. | ||
| I think the big one was Stone Cold, though, right? | ||
| Wasn't that his first breakout movie? | ||
| I remember Stone Cold the most. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he was like the fucking man. | ||
| There's these guys every now and then. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He was also in The Longest Yard with Joey Deeds. | ||
| Right, that's right. | ||
| 91. That was the big movie. | ||
| Stone Cold. | ||
| On again, off again film career. | ||
| Starring in several low-budget films such as One Man's Justice, which went straight to DVD. Remember those days? | ||
| Remember those days of going into Blockbuster and just looking around? | ||
| I miss it. | ||
| There were fun days, man. | ||
| There's fun days when you, you know, like, we almost have, like, too many options. | ||
| I don't like to say that because I think it's awesome that more content creators exist and more people have a chance to create things. | ||
| The barrier for entry is so much different than it used to be. | ||
| But there was something cool. | ||
| I think it was only cool because we can look back. | ||
| Back then, if you gave us Netflix, we'd be like, fuck yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd get it instantly. | ||
| I'd just press a button. | ||
| Holy shit, this is crazy. | ||
| I don't even have to leave the house. | ||
| Back then, you'd have to go out in the snow. | ||
| You'd have to go to Blockbusters and fucking skid in the parking lot. | ||
| Remember those days? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Then you have to rewind your tape so you get charged. | ||
| Oh, yeah, you're charged. | ||
| Sometimes your shit would get stuck. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know, get stuck inside the machine. | ||
| Remember, like, videotapes or movies back then, like, if you lost it, it was, like, 80 bucks, like, $100. | ||
| It wasn't, like... | ||
| They were super overpriced. | ||
| I remember I went to this local video store and they would charge you if you didn't return a film, but I was too shy to bring back pornos, so I'd rent them and just keep them, charge me. | ||
| Like 10 of them. | ||
| I think that's what most people did. | ||
| They didn't want to bring back, you know, Debbie Does Dallas and put a stack of these fucking porns down. | ||
| You fucking pervert. | ||
| Yeah, I've told you this before on the show, but I used to work at a video store, over a 24-hour store, had a porn site, and my kindergarten teacher came in, a woman, buying porn, and I don't think she recognized me, but I recognized her, but it was creepy. | ||
| Mud alert. | ||
| That's a rare lady back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lady that goes to get the porn? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People probably had a totally different attitude about porn because it was so new. | ||
| It was such a new thing. | ||
| And it didn't have a negative connotation yet. | ||
| Like, you didn't think of porn as, like, people who were abused as a child that went on to do porn. | ||
| You just thought, people are fucking. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| Like, nobody thought about, like, how did this start? | ||
| Like, who's doing this? | ||
| Why are you doing it? | ||
| What's your motivation? | ||
| Like, are you hooked on drugs? | ||
| Like, no one thought that. | ||
| Just, oh, people are fucking. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| I can get a video. | ||
| Remember you had to go to those saloon doors? | ||
| Or push the beads aside? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the beads. | |
| And there was like drug tests, you know, like pipes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They sold all kinds of shit. | |
| Brass knuckles. | ||
| Yeah, brass knuckles. | ||
| If they sold porn, they also sold brass knuckles and bongs. | ||
| Yeah, if you went to an actual adult store, those are the creepiest. | ||
| Because those, you're not even pretending they had to rent a Patrick Swayze movie. | ||
| You're only going straight for porn. | ||
| Those are the creepiest stores to go to. | ||
| It was like Porn Emporium or something like that, and you walk in and you're like... | ||
| They probably don't exist anymore, I would say. | ||
| I'm looking. | ||
| I was like, why was it called the Lion's Den? | ||
| But I don't think they all were. | ||
| It's just the one that started where we were from. | ||
| I've seen them in Texas. | ||
| You're driving on the highway. | ||
| Triple X Emporium or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And they sell lingerie and dildos and shit. | ||
| Yeah, but that was the only place for a while where you could get porn. | ||
| Like, when I was a kid, magazines couldn't show erections. | ||
| Like, the guys had to be soft. | ||
| So the women could have their vaginas open, spread eagle, and pulling their pussy lips aside, and the guy had to have, like, this limp dick. | ||
| Like, people were afraid of dicks. | ||
| Like, this was in the 80s. | ||
| Like, you couldn't have a hard dick in a magazine. | ||
| It'd be against the law. | ||
| They'd put you in a cage. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| They'd come in and arrest you. | ||
| If you had a magazine filled with hard dicks, like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
My wife's gonna see that dick! | |
| Guaranteed that's what it was. | ||
| Guaranteed it was a guy with a little dick who's like, we can't have that. | ||
| No hard dicks. | ||
| You didn't grow up with this that way. | ||
| Maybe you did, Brian. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We always had a friend with a single dad who would have either the stack of magazines or he had the black box so he had access to the channel that everyone else was scrambled. | ||
| Skin of No one else had that box. | ||
| It was like the single dad had it. | ||
| Oh yeah, definitely. | ||
| Before there was that option to get porn, you had to jerk off through your memory. | ||
| Or you had to get a lingerie catalog. | ||
| JCPenney Christmas catalog. | ||
| You weren't inspired. | ||
| Remember those big books? | ||
| Every year you would get the big book and you would go through all the toys and you had to write down the numbers and order it through the mail. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| People got addicted to ordering through catalogs. | ||
| Because it's just like people are addicted to internet shopping. | ||
| People are addicted to internet shopping. | ||
| I'm addicted to internet shopping. | ||
| It's fucking so addictive. | ||
| You're like, I need that money clip. | ||
| I was so high the other day, I couldn't remember how you bought a plane ticket without the internet. | ||
| I was like, how did that even happen? | ||
| I don't remember ever doing it in my entire life, but yeah, I guess it was a phone call. | ||
| I remember when you bought a plane ticket, you didn't have to show a license. | ||
| You didn't have to show who you were. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just had a ticket. | ||
| You'd just be able to show them the ticket. | ||
| You give them the ticket, you get on the plane. | ||
| Like someone could give you their ticket. | ||
| Smoking. | ||
| I remember those days. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| We just show up to the airport too and be like, I need to get to Ohio. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Three hours from now, there's a flight to here. | ||
| There's three seats left. | ||
| You can have one of them. | ||
| That's craziness. | ||
| Yeah, how did you, you just went to the airport? | ||
| Or did you buy tickets in advance? | ||
| I think over the phone. | ||
| I think you would call them. | ||
| Sometimes you would buy it months in advance. | ||
| And they send them to you? | ||
| I think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hilarious. | |
| I think I remember. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How'd they write, they wrote their books with a feather? | |
| And there was no printing press at all. | ||
| That, it's so crazy how much things have changed just inside of our life. | ||
| Now you just, every ticket's on your phone and you walk by the thing, boop, scans your ticket. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| TSA didn't really have any technology. | ||
| It was like, you pinky square, you don't have anything on you? | ||
| I don't think it existed. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think there was. | ||
| There was a metal detector maybe, but that's about it. | ||
| No, you used to be able to go right to the gate, remember? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And you'd go to the gate and meet your friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I went and met my dad and they let me go back on the plane and like sit in the thing. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I would have been like, I want to go home. | ||
| Now if you leave your phone on the plane, you can't go back on the plane to get your phone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you expect me to do? | ||
| I'm still in the airport. | ||
| I just got off the plane. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| But back then, they didn't have to take off your shoes. | ||
| It was that Richard Spencer guy, that shoe bomber. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Once he tried to blow himself up and they didn't charge for luggage. | ||
| No charge for luggage. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was just a weird... | ||
| It was just a different world back then, man. | ||
| Dude, you could smoke on a plane. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| You know, Dice Clay used to have a joke about it. | ||
| About, I could smoke here, but I can't smoke here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're in a fucking tube! | |
| He had this whole bit about smoking on a plane. | ||
| There's a video that just came out, like, a couple days ago of this guy, like, last week, just packed a plane and just pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking it. | ||
| And it's just so weird to see. | ||
| Everyone's freaking out, like, looking at him like, is he really smoking a cigarette? | ||
| Yeah, that used to be normal. | ||
| I remember there's an old video of Bertrand Russell. | ||
| And Bertrand Russell would not fly unless he could smoke on a plane. | ||
| And he was talking about it. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
| It's a crazy, crazy video because here's like this cherished intellectual who just loved tobacco and he could not be without tobacco. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The sort of conventional self-indulgences or vices like drinking tobacco and so on, which is your favorite one? | |
| Oh, tobacco. | ||
| I smoke a pipe all day long except when I'm eating or sleeping. | ||
| Hasn't that shortened your life? | ||
| Well, they used to say it would when I first took to it, but I took to it some 70 years ago, so it doesn't seem to have had a very great effect so far. | ||
| In fact, you know, on one occasion it saved my life. | ||
| I was in an airplane and A man was getting a seat for me and I said, get me a seat in the smoking part, so if I can't smoke I should die. | ||
| And sure enough, there was an accident, a bad accident, and all the people in the non-smoking part of the plane were drowned. | ||
| And the people in the smoking part jumped into the Norwegian fjord where we landed and were saved. | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| That was back when planes crashed all the time. | ||
| That's one thing where technology got way better. | ||
| Preventing plane crashes. | ||
| Plane crashes were so normal. | ||
| They were so fucking normal. | ||
| They happened all the time. | ||
| Like they would happen like once a month. | ||
| The plane just drives itself pretty much nowadays. | ||
| Yeah, and they're just really good at knowing when to fly and when not to fly. | ||
| They have better understanding of the weather conditions. | ||
| Back then they were just, is it windy? | ||
| Yeah, let's go. | ||
| Let's go, bitch. | ||
| They just go up and the wind would be going 100 miles an hour sideways. | ||
| I wonder if they even had a way of measuring it back then accurately, like at distance. | ||
| Like, you know, if you're flying over the country, they know now where the patches of turbulence are and they avoid them. | ||
| You know, we're going through a rough spot, but we're going to clear this and go to the next, and there's nothing up above it. | ||
| So they know where the wind is now. | ||
| Still, I was flying back from Detroit, and we were in the middle of a thunderstorm. | ||
| It was creepy, dude. | ||
| It was creepy. | ||
| We were looking out the window on the way to Austin, and we couldn't land in Austin. | ||
| We wound up landing somewhere else. | ||
| And then we had a transport to Austin. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it was sketchy. | ||
| It was sketchy. | ||
| Once in a while, that shit still happens. | ||
| It's always when I'm stoned, too. | ||
| I'm like, why did this happen to happen when I'm stoned? | ||
| Well, it's most of the time when I'm on an airplane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't like to be on an airplane sober. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Like, what am I going to do? | ||
| I have zero responsibility for three hours. | ||
| Why would I be sober? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's just watching the lightning in the sky while you're flying around. | ||
| You realize, I'm just floating in air here in the middle of an electrical storm. | ||
| This is such a bad idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's how people go. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| Especially the small planes. | ||
| Especially if you know the Clintons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially the private jets that everyone's doing nowadays. | ||
| Those are even scarier during storms. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| But they're all scary, man. | ||
| It's a metal fucking thing in the sky while lightning is crackling. | ||
| The thing about Texas as opposed to California is that it rains a lot here. | ||
| We get to experience rain. | ||
| I fucking love it. | ||
| I love it, but it's so violent. | ||
| Like, compared to even, like, you know, Ohio, we used to have thunderstorms all the time. | ||
| There's something about Texas, and I think it must be because of the ocean being around it or near or something like that. | ||
| What about California? | ||
| The ocean's near that. | ||
| Yeah, but, I mean, I just mean the lightning so much. | ||
| Like, when it's a lightning storm out here, our whole house rumbles and it's deeper and it's... | ||
| I think, I don't know, but I'm guessing that's because there's more moisture here. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| It's more, there's more humidity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I would imagine that has something to do, is that? | ||
| Without, I'm not only going to correct, but I think it has more to do with atmospheric pressure and things like that. | ||
| And the jet stream doesn't really go down through Southern California a ton. | ||
| And here is like, we're right on the spot where everything gets mixed. | ||
| It's fucking scary sometimes. | ||
| Scariest shit is tornadoes. | ||
| And the wind. | ||
| I remember watching this video. | ||
| It was outside of Dallas. | ||
| It was on television. | ||
| There were semi-trucks that were flying through the air. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god. | ||
| A semi-truck just floating around the air like a paper cup. | ||
| It was floating around the sky. | ||
| This twister touched down on this area that had semis. | ||
| It was fucking nuts. | ||
| Yeah, that tornado from four months ago, it was like literally five miles from my house. | ||
| And then I went through Hutto and just destroyed all those things on Hutto. | ||
| What did it destroy? | ||
| Houses? | ||
| Houses, a shopping center, like tore through all these, like this neighborhood. | ||
| There's this drone footage of this neighborhood and every single roof is like missing. | ||
| Except there will be like one house that's untouched and then everything else around is just... | ||
| This is this wild video of this guy. | ||
| He's driving in his car at night. | ||
| They're trying to get away from a tornado and it's dark out so you can't see it. | ||
| But every now and then the lightning cracks and you see the tornado in the distance. | ||
| And this guy doesn't even know, like, is he going the right way? | ||
| What if it turns directions? | ||
| I mean, is he listening to the Doppler radar at every second of every day? | ||
| So watch this guy's driving and look at that. | ||
| Look at that fucking tornado in the distance! | ||
| Imagine that's a monster. | ||
| It's like a King Kong running at you, a thousand feet tall. | ||
| But it's crazy because you only see it when the sky flashes with lightning. | ||
| Other than that, it's just dark. | ||
| And then you get a sense of where this thing is going. | ||
| But you're just guessing. | ||
| You're just hoping the lightning still keeps going so you can get a sense of where it's going. | ||
| Look at the cars going! | ||
| The cars are driving by it! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Imagine now it's like the year of BC 2000. Oh my god. | ||
| And you have a tent. | ||
| And you don't even know... | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Do you get to the cave? | ||
| I guess you have to get to the cave. | ||
| Would you have ever seen a tornado before? | ||
| You know, like, did they even know what the fuck that would have been? | ||
| Probably thought it was a monster or something. | ||
| Well, you gotta think the Plains Indians for sure saw that. | ||
| They lived in those areas. | ||
| They for sure saw something like that. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Did they have... | ||
| Did the Native Americans have an expression for tornadoes? | ||
| See what that is. | ||
| They probably had a whole mythology attached to tornadoes. | ||
| They believed tornadoes were living things, according to this article I just quickly pulled up. | ||
| The Shawnee believed some tornadoes were kindred spirits that could never harm them. | ||
| Others believed they were a cleansing agent sweeping away negative things in life. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| I'm sure that each one had a different time. | ||
| Living things. | ||
| The sky monster. | ||
| Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. | ||
| What if that was what they thought dragons were, you know? | ||
| There's someone with a tail, and they're like, it's the fucking tornado that showed up. | ||
| Or, what if dragons were real? | ||
| Like in that fucking Matthew McConaughey movie. | ||
| Remember that movie? | ||
| That movie was the shit. | ||
| I bet dragons could be real. | ||
| Back when Matthew McConaughey was jacked. | ||
| He was fucking great in that movie. | ||
| And what's his name was in that movie, too? | ||
| Christian Bale. | ||
| What was that movie called? | ||
| Rain of Fire. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rain of Fire. | ||
| That was a good movie. | ||
| That's a good fucking dragon movie. | ||
| The dragons, they ate carbon. | ||
| They had to burn everything to eat. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So everything, they'd burn everything down and then they would eat whatever was like charred. | ||
| That's what they ate. | ||
| That's why they had fire. | ||
| And they lived in the center of the earth and they were in the middle of a mining thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Fuck yeah, that was good. | ||
| And those were the first like Game of Thrones type dragons in a movie because they were like Game of Thrones dragons they weren't you know They were like mythology dragons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| There's a video of Forrest Galante on here talking about dragons that I've seen going around recently. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, he's just... | ||
| He's coming on soon. | ||
| Play that. | ||
| I'm going to find it. | ||
| They just bring up the point of like, they show up everywhere all over the world in all sorts of mythology and they all look the same. | ||
| Yeah, it's a good point. | ||
| What do you think they were? | ||
| Why do you think they thought they had wings? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pterodactyls? | |
| Maybe. | ||
| Pterodactyls are probably dragons. | ||
| You like these kind of far-out-there ideas. | ||
| How do you like this idea? | ||
| There's a group of people that say that dragons were real. | ||
| And I'll explain. | ||
| So around the same time period in China, South America, Africa, Rome, all these places, images depicted people fighting dragons, right? | ||
| And every dragon was slightly different, but it was all a giant, scaly animal that could fly. | ||
| So when you break that down, you think about the fact that large birds had a hard time being fossilized because their bones are so porous, right? | ||
| So because bones, they have like hollowish bones, they break down very easily and they don't fossilize. | ||
| The reason there's no fossils of dragons is because they had bird bones and they were actually very delicate animals. | ||
| But a handful of these small, a small population of these giant flying lizards existed. | ||
| So you... | ||
| That was right. | ||
| I remember that now. | ||
| My memory's gone. | ||
| Too many podcasts. | ||
| Do you know what I did the other day? | ||
| Someone told me about this guy and was like, oh, sounds really cool. | ||
| I googled him. | ||
| He's been on the show. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's one. | ||
| Billy Corgan. | ||
| I clearly remember. | ||
| From Smashing Pumpkins. | ||
| Yeah, it was over five years ago. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, my memory's trash. | ||
| It's getting worse. | ||
| It's just, my memory is too much. | ||
| There's too much in there. | ||
| And every now and then I'll pull something out of my ass. | ||
| I'm like, how do I even remember that? | ||
| But I think right now my hard drive is beyond full. | ||
| My discs are skipping, and I try to incorporate new information, and every time I do I have to delete some old shit. | ||
| You know, it's like that thing, Dunbar's number, where you can only keep a certain amount of people in your life, like intimate friendships. | ||
| We've talked about this like 10 times. | ||
| We forgot it already. | ||
| Well, actually, we talked about it recently, and Jamie pulled it up, that it actually is scaled. | ||
| There's like an X amount that are like your close friends, but there are other ones that are like distant acquaintances, and the number gets bigger and bigger. | ||
| It gets to be like 1,500 people or something like that. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| It goes to 1,500. | ||
| Go back to that one, that last one. | ||
| See, there's all these, like, there's five people that are really close to you, and there's 15 close friends, and then 35 acquaintances, and 150 people you know. | ||
| And so this is, as it gets further off, there's, like, more and more distance. | ||
| And you think about guys like us, who have had podcasts with thousands of people. | ||
| Thousands of people. | ||
| And social media. | ||
| And social media. | ||
| But the podcast thing, like, you've had actual physical conversations with thousands of people that you probably forget. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many people have you had on Kill Tony? | ||
| Phew. | ||
| Well, we're like, what, 580, maybe two guests. | ||
| Probably over a thousand, you know, over a thousand at least. | ||
| More than that. | ||
| At least. | ||
| And then all the comics that go on the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| At least. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then, I mean, how many comics do we know that we've met? | ||
| Right. | ||
| On the road, and this guy opened here, and you saw this guy, and then some guys just, they drop off and you forget about them. | ||
| And you're like, oh yeah, Henry Cho. | ||
| Whatever happened to that guy? | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Asian guy with a southern accent? | ||
| I was like, whoa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there was a bunch of guys like that. | ||
| You go, whatever happened to that guy? | ||
| Where did he go? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I was thinking the other day of there was a prop guy. | ||
| That was, like, really popular at one point in time. | ||
| I was trying to remember his name. | ||
| He was a prop guy that was popular in, like, the 1980s. | ||
| And he had, like, a bag of eye boogers that he pulled out. | ||
| Like, a jar. | ||
| I've been saving them my whole life. | ||
| He, like, pulled it out. | ||
| I forget his name, but it was funny. | ||
| But he's like, before Carrot Top, that was the genre of comedy. | ||
| You'd see a lot of different... | ||
| And then teams. | ||
| There was team comedy. | ||
| Now there's only, like, the Sklar brothers. | ||
| Joey and... | ||
| Jimmy. | ||
| There was a bunch of those guys. | ||
| Fat Johnny and the Round... | ||
| Red Johnny and the Round guy. | ||
| Those guys would murder. | ||
| Those guys would murder. | ||
| I remember those guys in New York? | ||
| They would close with a rap. | ||
| They had a rap. | ||
| And if you had to follow that rap, you were fucked. | ||
| Because it was so much energy, and it all rhymed, and they would close, boom, and everybody would go, ah! | ||
| Then you had to go on afterwards, eh, you ever noticed? | ||
| Like, shut the fuck up and rap. | ||
| Like, on the road, like, if you went on after a guy who had a song, a guy who busted out a guitar and had a song, you were doomed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You were doomed. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| There was guys that just had dirty songs. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| There was a famous guy way back in the day that had just dirty songs. | ||
| Oh my god, he was an East Coast guy. | ||
| He was really dirty songs. | ||
| It was like in the 80s. | ||
| And he was super controversial even in the 80s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| I cannot remember. | ||
| But he was the dirty song guy. | ||
| And like your parents told you about him. | ||
| Like your parents knew about this guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, what is that guy? | |
| There's so many guys that people forgot about. | ||
| Did you ever see Bob Woods? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Bob Woods is a guy people forgot about. | ||
| He was like a Long Island legend. | ||
| Legend. | ||
| Hilarious guy. | ||
| He does this show once. | ||
| And he's doing this show, and there's kids in the audience. | ||
| And he goes into this bit, and I think the bit is talking about blowjobs. | ||
| And they go, Bob, Bob, Bob! | ||
| There's kids in the crowd. | ||
| He goes... | ||
| Let them learn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He just went right into the bit and crushed it. | |
| It is weird anytime there's kids in the audience. | ||
| It's the worst. | ||
| Do you remember when the improv used to have those high school shows? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those were crazy. | ||
| These are 15 year olds in the audience. | ||
| And they would tell you, don't change your material, just do what you would normally do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Why are you telling me this? | ||
| That should be illegal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
These guys literally shouldn't be here. | |
| Right. | ||
| And there's some loophole where they're allowed to go. | ||
| As long as they didn't drink, they were allowed for one show. | ||
| They had a license to have fucking 14-year-olds in the crowd. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| And you'd look at their faces. | ||
| They couldn't even believe they're at a comedy show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They've never seen anything like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What a great teacher. | |
| How cool would that be, though, to be 14 and be able to do that? | ||
| Yeah, because I was a grown man when I went to my first comedy show. | ||
| Yeah, if you could, I mean, what a great way to recruit stand-ups. | ||
| Get someone to be into stand-up. | ||
| Get them to see what it's like when they're really young and be in the audience. | ||
| Because most people, they watch stand-up, it's on television. | ||
| And I always say that stand-up on television is like 60-70% as good as it is when you're live. | ||
| So if you see a special like Bill Burr that makes you laugh hysterically when you're at home, imagine how good it would be. | ||
| To see Chris Rock in person. | ||
| He's 50 feet from you, murdering. | ||
| There's something about when you're there live. | ||
| You know who's really fucking funny? | ||
| Adam Sandler. | ||
| I saw him live in Vegas last weekend. | ||
| Oh, you did? | ||
| He was really funny, dude. | ||
| It's so Adam Sandler. | ||
| It's so silly. | ||
| A lot of music? | ||
| Yeah, he does music, but he also does just straight stand-up. | ||
| He has this bit about the way words are pronounced. | ||
| I don't want to fuck the bit up, but it's really funny, man. | ||
| With the end, I was like clapping. | ||
| I was like, what a great bit. | ||
| It's a great bit, man. | ||
| I don't want to give it away, but it's a really good bit. | ||
| Is he touring, or was this just like one special? | ||
| Yeah, he's touring. | ||
| I would like to see. | ||
| And Rob Schneider opened up for him, too. | ||
| He was really funny, man. | ||
| Rob Schneider's really fucking funny. | ||
| I hadn't seen Rob Schneider do stand-up in a long time. | ||
| He killed. | ||
| It was funny, man. | ||
| I was laughing hard. | ||
| I was like, this is a good show, man. | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| But Adam is so... | ||
| He's so Adam Sandler on stage. | ||
| Like, silly and... | ||
| In February, where at? | ||
| The Moody? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you say hi to him? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I went backstage and said, what's up? | ||
| He's a cool motherfucker. | ||
| Always has been. | ||
| He's just a regular guy. | ||
| Like, he's as normal as you... | ||
| One of the ways he got to be so normal is he works with the same people always. | ||
| He brings the same comics. | ||
| He has them in movies and occasionally brings in actresses and different people and actors that he doesn't know. | ||
| But the vibe is all the same because there's the same directors, same writers. | ||
| Everybody's cool together and they all know each other. | ||
| It's just a fun vibe. | ||
| I did Zookeeper with him. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, so I got to hang out with him. | ||
| He's just a great guy. | ||
| He's just a cool motherfucker. | ||
| And during the pandemic, me and my family watched every Adam Sandler movie, except for Little Nicky. | ||
| We never got to Little Nicky. | ||
| I like Little Nicky. | ||
| I never saw it. | ||
| But we watched the Zohan. | ||
| That's a fucking underrated movie, man. | ||
| He has fun movies, man. | ||
| They're so silly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can do it! | |
| They yelled that out when Rob Schneider gets on stage, by the way. | ||
| He must hate that. | ||
| It's like when, remember when Chappelle would go on stage and everybody would go, I'm rich, bitch! | ||
| Or, I'm Rick James, bitch! | ||
| They would do that. | ||
| They would yell out, I'm Rick James. | ||
| I smoke rocks, Joe Rogan. | ||
| There was a lot of that, man. | ||
| Did you ever see this movie? | ||
| Which one? | ||
| Wrong Missy? | ||
| Wrong Missy? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's from Adam Sandler's production company, you know? | ||
| It's fucking really funny. | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| Oh, that's 2020. No, I never saw it. | ||
| I'll have to see it. | ||
| Did you know Nick Swartzen almost died? | ||
| Did you hear about it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, I did. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| He was in town the other day. | ||
| Yeah, I missed him. | ||
| I didn't get to see him. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| I love him too. | ||
| That whole crew, he's got fucking hilarious people, man. | ||
| There's some funny ass fucking people they put in those movies. | ||
| But those movies never got any love. | ||
| Like Happy Madison, all the critics shit on them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, people just, for whatever reason, audiences love them and critics hate them. | ||
| Because it was immature and stupid. | ||
| It's what the audience likes and not critics. | ||
| But it's fun. | ||
| That's what it's supposed to be. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, you know, going to see an orchestra and you're upset that it's not Slayer. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| You know what it is. | ||
| You don't have to like it. | ||
| But if you don't like it, maybe you're not the right person to be reviewing it. | ||
| Because, obviously, there's an entertainment value to this that a lot of people like. | ||
| It'd be like someone who hates comic books reviewing a comic book. | ||
| That's not your thing. | ||
| For some people, comic books are awesome. | ||
| But it's one of those things where you're a fool if you like this. | ||
| Why do you like this? | ||
| What's wrong with you, Brian? | ||
| I was always a fan growing up. | ||
| His music, slap a Joe, slap, slap a Joe. | ||
| The Hanukkah song? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey, do you have that Apple Ultra watch? | ||
| Is that what that is? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's way better. | ||
| You know why it's good? | ||
| It's because it lasts like three days. | ||
| My problem with the regular Apple Watch is forgetting to put it on the charger at night and stuff like that. | ||
| I don't even remember the last time I charged it. | ||
| I like when it has that cool red color. | ||
| Yeah, the red color is nice. | ||
| That looks nice, dude. | ||
| That does look nice. | ||
| You just touch it. | ||
| You make phone calls with it and shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's the best, especially if you're working out or if you just don't want to bring your phone. | ||
| You could just take calls on here and text on here. | ||
| Sometimes I'll just leave my phone at home, like if I'm going out and going to a restaurant or something. | ||
| What's super underrated is the talk to text feature. | ||
| Yeah, it works great. | ||
| It's amazing how good it works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's most of the text I send. | ||
| If I'm in the car and someone sends me a text message, I don't have to take my hands off the steering wheel. | ||
| You just start, hey Siri, and just tell that bitch what to do. | ||
| And for a comedian, it's one of the best tools ever because you can sit there with a voice recorder on when you're on stage and just record right into the... | ||
| Yeah, right next to your microphone. | ||
| Recording your sets is so fucking important, man. | ||
| It's the best way to remember shit, the best way to get a third-party perspective. | ||
| You get to look at your shit from outside and listen to it. | ||
| It's important. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You were the first person to tell me to do it on the phone and on your watch. | ||
| You could do it on both. | ||
| Yeah, just gotta put it in airplane mode. | ||
| Yeah, and then you get two versions of it. | ||
| Yeah, and I usually put it on the stool, the phone on the stool facing the audience, so you get the audience kind of sound, and then, you know, have this in your, for your microphone. | ||
| And you can mix it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| What, do you get a message there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you get distracted. | ||
| That's the problem with those things. | ||
| You're constantly getting emails and text messages. | ||
| Well, you put it in airplane mode. | ||
| Does it send pictures? | ||
| Could you get a dick pic on that? | ||
| Yeah, I could get a dick pic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they send images? | ||
| You can see images on that watch? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a game changer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know everybody loves fancy, expensive Rolexes and stuff, and that's great if you're going to a nice place or something, but they're not functional. | ||
| There's so much you could do on this watch. | ||
| It's like, why wouldn't you want to be able to get alerts or take phone calls or record something? | ||
| Especially if you're in a bad situation, say, just hit record on your watch real quick, and they don't even know you're fucking recording them. | ||
| Stuff like that. | ||
| That and also, like, you could... | ||
| You get GPS on it, right? | ||
| Yep, GPS. So you can figure out where you're going. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| If I fall down, it will call, you know, 911. Does that ever happen accidentally? | ||
| No, I haven't had it happen. | ||
| Blackout while jerking off? | ||
| No. | ||
| Cops show up? | ||
| I'll tell you one thing it does, though. | ||
| When I'm playing virtual reality... | ||
| I'll get constant high heart rate things because it's like you're sitting still. | ||
| You should not be having a high heart rate. | ||
| And I'm like, I'm fucking flying right now. | ||
| So what do you do? | ||
| You take it off and do VR? There needs to be a VR mode because it's so fucking annoying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they're good for fitness apps, too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are they good at reading? | ||
| The old one, the problem is, like, I have tattoos. | ||
| And it doesn't see... | ||
| The old one didn't see through the tattoos very good. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| All that's fine now. | ||
| They fixed that? | ||
| Yeah, they fixed it. | ||
| And it tracks everything constantly. | ||
| Like, it tells you how many... | ||
| How many stairs have you taken every day? | ||
| I think it's such a good blood oxygen meter that it's like an official medical device, or it's better than most medical devices. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can get, what's it called? | ||
| A heart, the heart thing, EKG or whatever. | ||
| Oh, it does EKGs. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought they had to strap shit to your chest. | ||
| I mean, it's not the best one, but it's more for an old person. | ||
| It'll tell you, hey, something's different about the way your heart's beating today. | ||
| You might want to go fucking see someone about this. | ||
| But does Whoop do that, too? | ||
| No, it's not the same kind of thing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And you're at a store, forget your wallet. | ||
| Oh, here. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Check out with my watch. | ||
| I love paying shit with my phone. | ||
| Oh, it's the best. | ||
| It makes me feel like I'm in the future. | ||
| It's so much safer, too. | ||
| Look at it, put it on the thing. | ||
| So much safer also because, you know, people with credit card skimmers and stuff like that. | ||
| Plus, it's just cool. | ||
| It is cool. | ||
| You pay for shit with your fucking phone. | ||
| It's an ECG, we're not an EKG. ECG. What is ECG? It records the timing and strength of the electrical signals that make your heart beat. | ||
| By looking at an ECG, a doctor can gain insights about your heart rhythm and look for irregularities. | ||
| How to use the ECG app. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| That's incredible. | ||
| It's also interesting, I do the sleep tracking, so it shows me how many times I wake up, how deep my sleep is. | ||
| I get a report every time I wake up. | ||
| Is the functionality of that one different in that way than the regular Apple Watch? | ||
| Or is it just a battery thing and some more features? | ||
| It's a battery, and it's also scuba diving, and it's got a couple little things here and there. | ||
| This is definitely the way to go. | ||
| It's bigger, too. | ||
| It's supposed to be super durable, too. | ||
| People smacking against things to show you. | ||
| Yeah, I recommend it highly. | ||
| Isn't it nuts that sapphire is durable? | ||
| The crystal, you'd think like, what is that? | ||
| It's fucking glass. | ||
| Yeah, but it's strong as a diamond or something like that, right? | ||
| Nah, not that strong. | ||
|
unidentified
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No? | |
| No, I don't believe so. | ||
| Strong as fuck, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's officially strong as fuck. | ||
| Strong as fuck. | ||
| Let's wrap this up, young Brian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good times, buddy. | ||
| Good times. | ||
| A lot of fun. | ||
|
unidentified
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Good seeing you. | |
| Kill Tony every Monday on the YouTube channel and also live at Vulcan if you can get a ticket. | ||
| That shit sells out quick, which is amazing. | ||
| I think we put like three months up recently, and I think it's sold out in like 20 minutes. | ||
| You guys are on fire. | ||
| It's the best fucking show to go see in front of an audience. | ||
| For that kind of a thing, there's nothing like it. | ||
| And it also launches comics. | ||
| Think of how many comics have launched from Kill Tony. | ||
| And it's just, you and Tony together, and Lucas, and fucking William, and everybody, the regulars, and Hans, and like, fuck, it's good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Such a good show. | ||
| It's a lot of fun. | ||
| And we've been having so many, you know, a lot of people thought when we moved to Austin, you know, the show was going to fucking be shit and not be as good because of... | ||
| We've had some of the best guests just here in Austin every week. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| It's a thing now. | ||
| And I think also in the comedy world it's achieved escape velocity where people just want to come to it. | ||
| And it's just a fun thing to do, to be a guest, to do stand-up on it. | ||
| And it really can shape careers. | ||
| And also it teaches comics to be really funny in one minute. | ||
| You can't be self-indulgent. | ||
| You can't try to push an agenda. | ||
| You gotta just be funny. | ||
| You have one minute. | ||
| And if you do that, you can have a real career in stand-up comedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You really can't. | ||
| It's like one of the best launching paths for stand-up that's ever existed. | ||
| And there's never been anything like it for young comics to learn, you know, that fast and that easy. | ||
| I mean, it's school for you. | ||
| If you want to be a comic, you better watch Kill Tony. | ||
| It'll teach you everything. | ||
| And it's fucking humbling. | ||
| It's humbling for people that think they can do stand-up and they do one minute and find out they can't. | ||
| But it's also like watching David and Tony roast each other. | ||
| Yeah, it's ridiculous. | ||
| It's like, Jesus Christ, these guys are good. | ||
| Brutal. | ||
| Those guys are so good at fucking with each other, and they both laugh at each other's things when they say things, and they do it every week. | ||
| There's got to be hours of David Lucas and Tony Hinchcliffe just fucking with each other, which is hilarious. | ||
| Off the cup, and with the band behind them. | ||
| When someone nails it. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| That's me on the iPad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, is that you? | |
| That's not the band? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's Ebony and Ivory. | ||
| Oh, you do that too. | ||
| Yeah, it's the most gay and fat jokes you will ever hear. | ||
| And the bear when you've gone over your time. | ||
| Meow. | ||
| Meow when you're on the fucking fence. | ||
| Yeah, we even have a Joe Rogan soundboard, Jamie's on it. | ||
| And once in a while we'll have you call in. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| All right, my brother. | ||
| I love you to death. | ||
| Love you, buddy. | ||
| You're the best. | ||
| Again, Kill Tony. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| It's Monday nights at the Vulcan. | ||
| Is it just Red Band on Instagram and everything? | ||
| Red Band on everything. |
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