May 27, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:05:23
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
|
unidentified
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Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | |
| The drones are the cigar choice, a short story. | ||
| And smoking cigars with D.L. so much. | ||
| I know a good cigar, Oliver. | ||
|
unidentified
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Mmm. | |
| It's a good cigar. | ||
| Yeah, this is solid. | ||
| I've had Cuban cigars, and I know they're supposed to be better, and I believe they're good. | ||
| But I do not know if they're better. | ||
| You could lie to me. | ||
| You could give me a good Dominican cigar, and I'd be like, damn, Cuban. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know what you like when you like it. | ||
| I drink Cabernet and you know how they come to the table and they tell you this valley and this is from this. | ||
| And I just said, eh, nine ounce. | ||
| And then I like it, I like it. | ||
| But other than that, There was a documentary, I've talked about this before, but there's a documentary called Sour Grapes. | ||
| And it's all about wine connoisseurs getting hustled by this dude who figured out how to mix wine to make it taste like old wine. | ||
| And he put fake labels on them and he sold them for hundreds of thousands of dollars. | ||
| Millions of dollars worth of wine this guy sold. | ||
| Like bottles for a couple hundred thousand dollars. | ||
| And... | ||
| Unfortunately, he sold a fake bottle to the Koch brothers. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And one of the Koch brothers, someone was going through their collection, going, what the fuck is this? | ||
| And he's like, oh, that's a... | ||
| And they're like, no, it's not. | ||
| And then the next thing you know, he gets his wine examined, and he's like, bro, you have a bunch of fake wine in here. | ||
| And then they find out this one dude had been making these fake labels and blending these cheaper wines together to try to create a taste that's similar to a really expensive wine. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Everything that he went through, he could have just... | ||
| Made a wine. | ||
| You'd think so, but he made millions. | ||
| Millions and millions and millions of dollars. | ||
| To hustle people. | ||
| But he came from a criminal family. | ||
| Like, when they went into the whole family of it. | ||
| Like, the family, one of the brothers had stolen a bunch of money out of a bank. | ||
| And, like, hundreds of millions of dollars, right? | ||
| Wasn't it, like, some insane amount of money? | ||
| Remember that part? | ||
| And, you know, he's on the run. | ||
| He's hiding somewhere. | ||
| So, it's like the whole family's been con artists. | ||
| Their whole life. | ||
| And this guy just figured out a way to get in with these wine people. | ||
| Because the way he did it was pretty genius. | ||
| First he went and started going to auctions and buying up really expensive wine. | ||
| So he became known in the wine community as this guy. | ||
| Like, oh, he knows. | ||
| He knows the wines. | ||
| He knows. | ||
| And then he said, I'm going to get rid of some of my wines. | ||
| You know, I don't need... | ||
| I have too much wine. | ||
| Nowhere to store it. | ||
| So I'm going to sell some of my choice wines to, like, Sotheby's. | ||
| So they would auction off some of his choice wines. | ||
| And then the winery found out... | ||
| And the winery's like, we never made that label on that year. | ||
| Like, this is all fake. | ||
| It's wild, though, dude. | ||
| Because it's that thing, it's like, people want exclusive shit. | ||
| Ah, Cuban cigars. | ||
| With sneakers, they find out some people are selling fake sneakers. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, you can make a sneaker, so... | ||
| Yeah, it's leather. | ||
| I mean, once you get past the printing of the soles, everything else seems like you could kind of do. | ||
| The only way that you can make a shoe exclusive, and this would be just utterly ridiculous, if your shoe... | ||
| Was put on the foot of the person that's buying it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Formed. | ||
| Ken Griffith Jr. stepped in your shoe, or at least tried to put it on, held it in his hand, and then they sold it to you. | ||
| He dealt with the shoe. | ||
| All these Ken Griffiths over here are... | ||
| Regular Ken Griffiths, but these are handheld Ken Griffith Jr. sneakers. | ||
| And you would have to have like chain of custody. | ||
| From Ken to you. | ||
| Where it's a photo of him with a video of him touching your shoe, putting it in the box, and then it's coming to you. | ||
| And maybe like signing his name on the inside lip. | ||
| Right? | ||
| On the tongue just a little bit? | ||
| I wouldn't even tell them what it was. | ||
| It would be something like they know when your shoe is authentic that you don't even know that it has. | ||
| But you know, this is authentic. | ||
| You got paperwork on it. | ||
| But what makes it authentic? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Let me see your shoe. | ||
| And then they turn around and they put some light on it. | ||
| And they're like, nope, nope. | ||
| Don't have it. | ||
| Then, yes. | ||
| Because people... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| What is exclusive? | ||
| What is exclusive? | ||
| Like, if you sit in first class on a plane, are you really getting anything other than... | ||
| Getting a bigger seat. | ||
|
unidentified
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Eh. | |
| But you're paying sometimes, like, way more. | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| A coach seat can be $400. | ||
| A first class might be $2,000. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you go in the same place. | ||
| So if the plane went down... | ||
| Like, do you live? | ||
| No, you're more likely to die. | ||
| The people in the back live. | ||
| Like, do people say, ah, Joe, I heard you was in a plane accident. | ||
| Everybody's like, yeah, I was in first class. | ||
| Like, why would I be dead? | ||
| Your bag's everywhere. | ||
| Like, you and eight people, like, the plane had done all type of flips, and it's on fire, but y'all have no idea. | ||
| Y'all still in the front. | ||
|
unidentified
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Huh? | |
| Something's going on out there, I think. | ||
| And then you get out of a box, a first-class box, and you're like... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Didn't know all that was going on. | ||
| Everyone's gone and thank goodness this first class seat was available. | ||
| People love exclusivity though. | ||
| They love to be above the herd. | ||
| Above the crowd. | ||
| Look at me with my fancy clothes. | ||
| I sat courtside once and realized that I had to walk up to get out and was pissed. | ||
| All these days, the further I started going down, I was like, man, shit! | ||
| Like, I gotta walk back up that way to get out? | ||
| God damn it! | ||
| Why don't they have a courtside exit? | ||
| Right? | ||
| That would be exclusive. | ||
| Real exclusive. | ||
| You go through the locker room. | ||
| Man, it was insane. | ||
| All the steps that I had to take to go do anything. | ||
| I was like, damn it. | ||
| I haven't gone to see a sporting event live in forever. | ||
| And then I went the other night to an Austin FC soccer game. | ||
| And it's like 22,000 people in the arena. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| It was a lot of fun. | ||
| I've never seen soccer live. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| Like, I appreciate it now. | ||
| I watched it on TV. I'm like, eh, not enough action. | ||
| But when you're there live and you see how fast those guys run and how much skill involved and tactics and strategy. | ||
| But goddamn leaving is a pain in the dick. | ||
| When there's 22,000 people trying to get out of the same two lanes, like, oh, Christ. | ||
| And then there's a light up ahead, you gotta wait for the light to turn green? | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| It's, um... | ||
| I thought of this. | ||
| Because I had this new special that just came out. | ||
| I thought as soon as it came out that they was gonna invite me to a sporting event, like, to shoot the free throw if I'm on the list. | ||
| Throw the first pitch? | ||
| I throw the first pitch. | ||
| Because in Houston, I see other people. | ||
| I see lesser celebrities shooting the free throw from the line for charity, and I'll just be pissed. | ||
| Like, why haven't they called me yet to... | ||
| I'm on, like, special number four. | ||
| Like, what's the holdup? | ||
| Like, what's the holdup on... | ||
| Who is not picking up the phone for me to shoot this damn shot? | ||
| Do you have a publicist that calls people for that? | ||
|
unidentified
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Nah. | |
| I think that's what it is. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| The people that get that chase it. | ||
| They chase that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like Hollywood Walk of Fame, like the star. | ||
| You could get a star. | ||
| You just have to pay for it and have someone set it up. | ||
| There's a lot of people that have stars that you've never heard of them before. | ||
| They just paid for it. | ||
|
unidentified
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You just walk in like, who is Rudy Jackson? | |
| Exactly, exactly. | ||
| It's not a joke. | ||
| Like, what did he do? | ||
| And he like right by the Starbucks. | ||
| Walk down Hollywood Boulevard. | ||
| And then you find out that the homeless person down the way is Rudy Jackson. | ||
| I used to be a great man. | ||
|
unidentified
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Back in the day, I was Samuel Jackson's stunt double. | |
| Exclusivity is a thing, man. | ||
| It's like people pay for fake exclusivity. | ||
| There was just a bust. | ||
| They busted... | ||
| They said it was $10 million worth of fake Rolexes. | ||
| And I'm like, well, if they're fake, they should be worth nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| Like, are you busting me for trying? | ||
|
unidentified
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Right? | |
| I'm the real loser here, sir! | ||
| The thing about a fake Rolex is, though, they can make a fake Rolex exactly like a real Rolex. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Because they use 3D printing. | ||
| So what they do is they'll take a model, like they'll do a computer model of every single part in a Rolex. | ||
| They'll take it apart and then they make a duplicate version of it. | ||
| Every part. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Every screw, every little wheel, every little mechanical piece inside that moves, and then they put it all together. | ||
| Yeah, this is it right here. | ||
| U.S. Customs and Border Protection said it seized 460 counterfeit Rolexes shipped to the U.S. from Hong Kong. | ||
| You won't even be able to tell the difference, man. | ||
| First of all, my eyesight sucks anyway, because I have to put reading glasses on. | ||
| So it's a Rolex that I'm looking for, that they say that people, it's hard to find. | ||
| It's the silver one with the green face. | ||
| It's an Oyster 41. If anybody in Hong Kong making one of them just, you know... | ||
| I get the one I want. | ||
| I be hearing about women getting gifted things that's on their wish list. | ||
| I'm like, if I put a wish list together, they'd be like, you fucking bum. | ||
| You a fucking beggar, Ali. | ||
| Women can do it. | ||
| They always complain about it's not always but sometimes they complain about it's a double standard. | ||
| It fucking is! | ||
| Of course it is. | ||
| If I go on the internet and put on a halter top And put a wet t-shirt, a wet halter top on and put it right up underneath my chest. | ||
| I get no money. | ||
| I get complaints of people. | ||
| Hey, I need $10 for the shit you put on in there. | ||
| People are requesting money from me. | ||
| But you do it. | ||
| Let a woman put on a wet hot top right beneath her breast and just put on there, donate. | ||
| I guarantee you could be a millionaire. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| There was a woman who was working for a friend of mine. | ||
| She was just in production of his podcast and she would take photos of her feet and put her feet on OnlyFans and she was making $100,000 a month. | ||
| Showing her feet. | ||
| The lady who does my feet has taken videos of my feet and I've seen them on her page of other Korean ladies laughing. | ||
| Look at that baby toe. | ||
| I think it's work. | ||
| You get your toes done? | ||
| You get pedicure? | ||
| Hell yeah, I go get a pedicure. | ||
| Like, yo, I took one of the toughest dudes. | ||
| Like, I always take some hood dude to something that they deem as some non-manly shit. | ||
| And I'm like, yo, listen, my man. | ||
| My man Papa Doc. | ||
| He said his feet has been hurting. | ||
| I said, yo, listen. | ||
| You gotta get you a pair of hokas. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So he went and got them. | ||
| He told me, yo, I feel like I'm walking on fucking pillows. | ||
| I'm like, hokas is the shit. | ||
| Hoka like running shoes? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| They're great. | ||
| Oh my goodness, great. | ||
| Best shoe ever made. | ||
| So I said, man, he got plantar fasciitis. | ||
| And I said, man, you got to get your feet done. | ||
| That's a part of mental health, healthcare, you know, getting your feet done. | ||
| He's like, man, I ain't fucking with it. | ||
| I'm scared. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| And I'm ticklish. | ||
| I don't nobody touch my goddamn feet. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to go with you. | ||
| And he's like, I don't give a shit who go. | ||
| I'm not fucking with it. | ||
| I said, listen, I got you. | ||
| I'm going to go with you. | ||
| I'm going to take you to my place. | ||
| And he said, all right. | ||
| And I said, listen, before we get in here, We're getting a deluxe. | ||
| We're getting the highest package. | ||
| The lady gonna put all types of shit on your feet. | ||
| Mayonnaise, cucumbers, all type of buttermilk. | ||
| She gonna boil the motherfuckers in acid. | ||
| She gonna do everything to your feet. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| One of the toughest dudes. | ||
| I'm like, I've had situations. | ||
| I've called him and he showed up with no problem. | ||
| Like, yo, what's up? | ||
| I'm killing everybody. | ||
| But you would think that I was taking him to the electric chair. | ||
| I'm like, yo, man, are you going to come in the place of nothing? | ||
| I ain't fucking with you. | ||
| He looking in there like it's a setup, like it's a mob hit. | ||
| Like, who all in there? | ||
| Man, listen! | ||
| Elderly people come in here, women come in here, women be fucked up. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Listen, So he sits down, takes his shoes off, and as soon as he put his feet in the water, I'm talking to him the whole time, just trying to get his mind off of it. | ||
| And he's like, man, fucking water. | ||
| The water bubbling. | ||
| He's like, I see him easing up. | ||
| Then she comes out with this tray of all sorts of fruit and oranges, put them on his legs. | ||
| He's like, man, type of fucking fruit salad shit is this. | ||
| Right when he getting the cucumber rub between his toes and all that, he look over at me as he's drinking it. | ||
| They bring you drinks. | ||
| I'm having a mimosa. | ||
| He having an orange juice because he tell me I got to stay on my toes. | ||
| You can't stay on your toes in here, man. | ||
| Your toes in the water. | ||
| He's on high alert. | ||
| This whole experience is not, it's supposed to be relaxing. | ||
| A lady come in and she put his massage chair on. | ||
| You can see it easing up on him. | ||
| Before I know it, he in there sleep. | ||
| Lady doing everything to his feet. | ||
| She sawing him. | ||
| She taking off his toes. | ||
| She doing everything. | ||
| The lady took his feet off and just took him to the back with her. | ||
| She was like, yo, there's a lot of shit going on. | ||
| He walked out. | ||
| He walking out and he turns to me and said, man, God damn. | ||
| Oh, that shit was amazing, man. | ||
| Got me some new feet! | ||
| You converted him. | ||
| I'm like, he'll be back without me. | ||
| He'll be back in there without me. | ||
| He know where to go. | ||
| Yeah, but maybe. | ||
| Sometimes it's hard. | ||
| It's like going to the movies by yourself. | ||
| It's a big leap. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Some people. | ||
| Man, I go to the movies by myself in a heart. | ||
| But you're a comic, and you go on the road. | ||
| You go on the road, especially if you've got an annoying opening act. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| You know, if you go on the road, and you go to Cincinnati, and you've never been to Cincinnati before, and they've got a local guy opening for you, and he's annoying, you know, and you wake up, and it's 11 a.m., you're like, fuck, what am I going to do today? | ||
| I'll go to the gym. | ||
| No one's playing in the movies. | ||
| Fuck it, I'm going to go to the movies by myself. | ||
| And I commandeer... | ||
| Both seats on the side of me with vittles. | ||
| If I'm going to movies, this is not a healthy experience. | ||
| All the bullshit. | ||
| Sour Patch Kids. | ||
| Sour Patch Kids. | ||
| I want the Twistlers. | ||
| This is the only time I eat a box of fucking... | ||
| Thin mint. | ||
| The junior mints. | ||
| I eat a box of them shits in the course of the movie with nachos. | ||
| I need my nachos with jalapenos. | ||
| I need my popcorn jalapenos. | ||
| I put jalapenos in my popcorn. | ||
| Ah, man. | ||
| I'm just going to have so much bad shit. | ||
| And I need it in both chairs. | ||
| I'm going to sit back and I'm going to watch. | ||
| And I be on high alert too in the movies sometimes, but most of the time I'm just in there relaxing. | ||
| And I already have an exit plan though. | ||
| Somebody coming in with some bullshit, I got an exit plan. | ||
| This fucking kid shooting yesterday is just, that's when you think about exit plan. | ||
| People always want to think, You know, what would I do? | ||
| What would I do if something happened like that? | ||
| Like this elementary school shooting. | ||
| This elementary school, the more I'm reading about it, the more fucked it is. | ||
| They saw him go in. | ||
| The cops didn't stop him. | ||
| They didn't go in after him. | ||
| He was in there for 40 minutes. | ||
| For 40 minutes, the parents are outside. | ||
| This video of the parents screaming at the cops, trying to get the cops to go in. | ||
| Finally, Border Patrol gets there. | ||
| Border Patrol goes in, and they kill him. | ||
| I talked about it the day of because it was... | ||
| I'm on the radio in Houston, and it said it comes across shooting on... | ||
| Uvalde is what it said. | ||
| So immediately we start trying to correct people because in Houston we have a street, Uvalde. | ||
| And that's what people heard. | ||
| So we went in correcting it and it's in Uvalde, Texas. | ||
| And the first thing I'm like... | ||
| Who went to the school and why? | ||
| And why are we still in this same position over and over again? | ||
| The level of concern that we have for children is really lackluster in this country because why is this continuing to happen? | ||
| Why is it no security? | ||
| Why was he able to even get in the school if you're looking at him and you know he doesn't go? | ||
| You don't want to stop him to even ask a question? | ||
| I'm confused of why people with these issues go to the most... | ||
| Why this place? | ||
| Because it's horrific. | ||
| They do it because it's the worst thing you can do. | ||
| They're shooting little kids. | ||
| They're going to an elementary school kid. | ||
| You're getting like 8-year-olds, 10-year-olds. | ||
| It's the most horrific thing. | ||
| The most innocent. | ||
| And we know that this is a possibility, right? | ||
| And we know that this has happened. | ||
| So why don't lawmakers make the law a law to be, if you commit this horrific crime, If you go anywhere... | ||
| The consequence is so dire... | ||
| That we... | ||
| That this is the time... | ||
| This is a... | ||
| Like, you get beheaded. | ||
|
unidentified
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This is... | |
| Once again, it's back off to like... | ||
| Yeah, but these guys want to die. | ||
| Like... | ||
| It's a death sentence. | ||
| They know... | ||
| Like, if that guy's in there for 40 minutes, he's not trying to live. | ||
| He's waiting for someone to come in and kill him. | ||
| That's a lot of these guys. | ||
| It's a suicide run. | ||
| I think some of them feel like they're going to live and somebody's going to make a movie about them. | ||
| I think that you... | ||
| Because if... | ||
| I would kill you before you even got... | ||
| You walking up, it's going to be a problem. | ||
| As soon as you walking up to the school, it's going to be some resistance. | ||
| Because they know that there's no resistance to these places. | ||
| So... | ||
| We have to put up some walls of safety when we know that these things happen in this country and people's mental health. | ||
| I'm not even blaming on mental health a lot of these things. | ||
| It's this desire of sensationalism that a lot of these people have. | ||
| And you should combat it at all angles of it prior to it. | ||
| Protection is preventive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, somebody pointed out, and it's a good point, how do we have $40 billion to send to Ukraine and we don't have $40 billion to protect the schools? | ||
|
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
| Where's the money getting allocated? | ||
| But I said this about every single problem they have in this country. | ||
| Every time there's like a report on the shootings in Chicago. | ||
| How do we have money to send to other countries when we don't have enough money to fix whatever's going on the south side of Chicago or Baltimore or parts of Detroit? | ||
| If we have this money, how is it poverty? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay, so you find money for other things, but you don't find money to correct the problems here? | ||
| Exactly, exactly. | ||
| It's almost like... | ||
| Well, it has to be... | ||
| It's almost like it has to be profitable. | ||
| Like, you remember when we invaded Iraq and Halliburton got these no-bid contracts to fix all the shit we blew up? | ||
| Give them a no-bid contract... | ||
| To fix Chicago. | ||
| Go in there. | ||
| Fix it. | ||
| Go in there. | ||
| Set up community centers. | ||
| Set up whatever you can do to protect people. | ||
| Set up whatever you can do to educate people. | ||
| Set up whatever you can do to provide people with better housing. | ||
| Give them hope. | ||
| Do the country. | ||
| The whole country. | ||
| Do the whole country. | ||
| If you've got that much money to go into these other countries and fix things. | ||
| And this whole idea of us being the police of the world, how the fuck can we be the police of the world? | ||
| We can't even police our own backyard. | ||
| How do I have a... | ||
| I have a plan to eradicate homelessness, but the smartest people in this world don't have a plan. | ||
| What's your plan? | ||
| Simple. | ||
| So, in most cities, you have these abandoned buildings. | ||
| You have a lot of abandoned buildings. | ||
| You go in, you refurbish this building, and you start people right at the top. | ||
| And it's a tier system that... | ||
| As you tear out the door. | ||
| So whatever your situation is, whether it's mental health, you get that fixed there. | ||
| Whether it's financial literacy, you get that fixed there. | ||
| Whatever your situation is, you get fixed in this building that this is what this recovery center is for. | ||
| Then you put them in jobs within the building because it's ran by grants within the building to heighten the skills that they already have. | ||
| And you ask people, what are their interests? | ||
| What do they want to be? | ||
| What were you before this happened to you? | ||
| How did this happen? | ||
| You get all that back information. | ||
| And as they are tearing out, the money that's allocated for each particular client through this grant, half of that money is being put to the side for when they get ready to come out. | ||
| You're not letting them out of this program. | ||
| Just naked with just the skills that they acquired in this program. | ||
| You're giving them a new lease on life. | ||
| This is the money that you acquired by being through this program. | ||
| Let's help you start your life from this point. | ||
| And you invest in the businesses that they're starting. | ||
| You invest in their life, whether it's a trade center. | ||
| You invest in these people. | ||
| And with the notion of they're going to reinvest a percentage back into the building to help more people. | ||
| And you keep recycling people back into the world In that manner. | ||
| So when you see somebody homeless, they're like, I'm homeless, I can't help myself. | ||
| They're like, bullshit. | ||
| It's a building right there that helps every single person that even falls on hard times. | ||
| And then you give people free health care. | ||
| I bet if you did that for several generations, you could put a massive debt in it. | ||
| I don't think you'd ever totally fix it, because you're never going to fix abusive parents, sexual abuse, drug abuse when you're young. | ||
| You get people out of there. | ||
| You get people out that situation. | ||
| Because the... | ||
| I had an abusive stepfather. | ||
| The only way to remedy this is to get out of this. | ||
| Because you can't fix him. | ||
| You got to focus on me. | ||
| And get me to safety. | ||
| But if you cripple somebody thinking to somebody you put a person in a position where they feel like they need that person. | ||
| And so you make excuses for their behavior. | ||
| When I see this all the time and people like what? | ||
| Why did this person stay? | ||
| Why did this person do this? | ||
| Because if they were handicapped, they was crippled. | ||
| And when you feel like you have no other place to go, you stay in positions that that's abusing you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what people do. | |
| But the amount of resources you would have to have to take care of every family where every person is being abused. | ||
| We have it because we can give it up. | ||
| We throw away more food in this country than most countries produce in a year. | ||
| Our waste ratio, if our waste ratio change, then our condition change. | ||
| Because if you allocate funds to the right thing instead of wasting funds, Even with this, people say it's a misinformation in certain things. | ||
| Yes, it is when the federal government doesn't allocate funds to certain people to eradicate the misinformation in media. | ||
| In media, it's federal funds that go out to media companies. | ||
| Why you don't get that to some of the black media outlets that you say that don't know what's going on? | ||
| Because you're not helping the situation either. | ||
| You're hurting the situation. | ||
| You're saying that if you know that the number one thing that cripples people in this country is health, and then you don't make it where they can have quality, free health care in this country, then you don't feel like the consumer... | ||
| The human being is the most important commodity on this planet. | ||
| If you invest in the human being, and the human being does the good works that he's supposed to do with that investment, and they invest in more human beings, you create this utopia of I'm | ||
| not supposed to do. | ||
| Yeah, and helping people feels good. | ||
| It's good for you, too. | ||
| That's one thing we have to get into people's heads. | ||
| Helping people feels good. | ||
| It's good for you, too. | ||
| It's like people are selfish. | ||
| They don't want to help themselves. | ||
| They feel like if I'm helping someone else, it's taken away from me. | ||
| But that's not the case. | ||
| Where does that mindset come from? | ||
| They just need a better... | ||
| Well, it's a famine mindset. | ||
| The famine mindset is there's not enough to go around. | ||
| But there's enough to go around. | ||
| There's enough for everybody. | ||
| This is one thing that I always try to instill in comedians. | ||
| Because comedians are like notoriously selfish. | ||
| They think about themselves. | ||
| They want to get ahead. | ||
| Narcissists. | ||
| I want to get ahead. | ||
| I want to get ahead. | ||
| Why is he doing that? | ||
| Why am I not doing that? | ||
| I want to get it. | ||
| I want to get it. | ||
| If you can help the people around you, you develop a community. | ||
| When you develop a community, everybody wants everybody to do good. | ||
| In our community, if one of us is killing it, everybody's happy. | ||
| One of us has a special, and that special's killing it, like your special, which is out on YouTube right now. | ||
| When that happens, people get excited. | ||
| Like, goddamn, look at him. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| Everybody's killing it. | ||
| That's good for everybody. | ||
| And it gives the people coming up hope. | ||
| Like, I'm entering into a community. | ||
| If I work hard, and if I continue to, like, honor the craft of stand-up comedy, I'm a part of this very small and tight-knit community of people. | ||
| There's not that many of us. | ||
| And if we do that and we help each other, it's good for everybody. | ||
| I think that's why Rodney Dangerfield was one of the ones for me. | ||
| When people say, who are your influences? | ||
| I'm influenced by more than just what you did on stage. | ||
| You know, it's... | ||
| How your character or how you were as a person. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And when he was not selfish, like, hey man, I got a platform. | ||
| Everybody is welcome to this platform if you funny. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Think about the people that he blew up. | ||
| Sam Kinison, Dice Clay, Bill Hicks, Dom Herrera, Lenny Clark, Roseanne Barr, Down the Line, Seinfeld. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| So many people. | ||
| And why not want to be that in comedy? | ||
| Or why leave that to another entity? | ||
| Oh, I'm on the all-stars of this. | ||
| I'm on the actors of that. | ||
| Like, why leave it to other people and other crafts to heighten your craft? | ||
| Why leave it to other people from other cities to say... | ||
| My biggest thing is to get the recognition from my peers. | ||
| Like, when a comic calls me and says, man, you're special... | ||
| Classic. | ||
| Like, I'm putting it in this space. | ||
| This is because they know the craft. | ||
| You're not a spectator. | ||
| Because to spectators, everybody looks good to spectators. | ||
| But when the people who know the craft are looking like, nah, you don't know what you're looking at. | ||
| Like, you don't know how special this is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because the special is supposed to be a piece of the person. | ||
| And the people that call and say, hey man, this is timeless. | ||
| It's like, yo, you really put a piece of, like, man... | ||
| You did it. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Yeah, and that's what we work towards. | ||
| You think about that when you're putting your bits together, you're editing them. | ||
| When you're going over them, you go, maybe that's a little too long, or maybe I need a little something there. | ||
| Maybe I need to trim that up, or maybe I need to explain that a little bit better. | ||
| You want that thing to, when it gets released, you get those phone calls like, dude, that thing was awesome. | ||
| That thing was awesome. | ||
| And then you get, thank you, thank you, man. | ||
| Appreciate it, appreciate it. | ||
| And then you want to do that to other people too. | ||
| You want to be able to call them up and go, dude, you're special. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| I remember watching Dan Soba's Son of Gary. | ||
| And I'm sitting there in fucking amazement. | ||
| I'm like, this shit is good. | ||
| I'm like, yo, this shit is fucking good. | ||
| I'm a caller. | ||
| Yeah, feels good. | ||
| I'm sitting there like, It feels good to call somebody and tell them that too. | ||
| And I'm like, God damn it, Dan, so are you. | ||
| You are fucking amazing. | ||
| And that's the thing. | ||
| I watched earthquakes and I felt good for Quake. | ||
| And that's the thing that you want to do in this business. | ||
| I remember writing With Bill Bellamy on his special and when he's getting ready to go out and we talking and I'm like, my last words was like, yo man, just go and just do what you do. | ||
| And when it came together, I called him like, yo, I watched it live. | ||
| I was there through the whole process and this shit is still good. | ||
| DL with Clea, I was like, and you, and I think that comics don't understand. | ||
| I'm not chasing other comics in an aspect of the new guys. | ||
| I'm chasing the classics. | ||
| I'm chasing Carlin and Cosby and Pryor and Eddie. | ||
| I'm chasing them so what you're doing doesn't We're good to go. | ||
| Man, Sinbad, like the memorable things that I'm like, I want my special to be in that when people say, hey man, Live from Sunset Strip, Elephant in the Room, Domino Effect, Ali Stik. | ||
| Like, I want to be mentioned amongst that. | ||
| And I tell people, I'm not playing the game for riches and all that. | ||
| I'm playing for that yellow jacket. | ||
| You know, a lot of people... | ||
| They satisfaction that you play football and you play through high school, you win a high school championship, great. | ||
| Then some people want to go to college, win a college championship, great. | ||
| Some people want to go to the NFL and get to the NFL. They want to go to the All-Star Games. | ||
| And that's fine. | ||
| Some people want to win a Super Bowl. | ||
| But some guys are playing the game. | ||
| To, at the end of that, receive a yellow jacket. | ||
| They're not cool with just being there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They want the jacket. | ||
| They want greatness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, aspire always to greatness. | ||
| Because even if you don't get there, you get pretty fucking excellent. | ||
| Because if you're trying to get pretty good, you'll get pretty good. | ||
| But if you're trying to achieve excellence, like real true excellence, where you can be proud of something, you know, Even if you don't get to where you wanted to go, you get a lot further than where you would go if you have low expectations. | ||
| This is the first piece of work that actually changed my mind on something. | ||
| How so? | ||
| People ask me, hey man, when it comes to storytelling, who is your top people? | ||
| Who are the best storytellers in comedy to you? | ||
| I used to say just like this. | ||
| I said it would be Cosby, Carlin, Joey Diaz, Eddie Murphy, me. | ||
| And I say me, Joey, and Eddie, all threes. | ||
| We third. | ||
| And then other people. | ||
| I looked, when I put the special together and I looked at it, And I looked at the craft of the ability to bring people into the story. | ||
| This is the first time somebody asked me after that. | ||
| I said, me, Cosby, then everybody else after that can sort that shit out. | ||
| But I can't deny myself no more and put myself behind somebody. | ||
| When it comes to a story, to like bringing you into a story. | ||
| It's a different kind of art. | ||
| Yeah, it's a different art. | ||
| And I've gotten pretty goddamn good. | ||
| That's the thing where Ari, when he put together that storyteller show, that was his idea. | ||
| He was like, these stories are too hard to develop when you're doing a 15-minute set on a stacked comedy store lineup. | ||
| You know, you got 10 fucking killers, you want to kill two, and if you're trying to develop a story, and it's a story about going to the park with your dad... | ||
| It's a long ass story. | ||
| People are like, where are you going with this? | ||
| But if you could do it on a show that's just people telling stories, then you could develop it and tighten it and then get to the point where it might be your closing bit. | ||
| Man, we already talked yesterday about this is not happening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was like, out of all them stories, all the shows I've done, Mexican Got on Boots is still my favorite goddamn story. | ||
| He said, I didn't know you. | ||
| We was going to put you on the digital side of it. | ||
| And we was looking at the story. | ||
| We was like, God damn it. | ||
| It's like, and he was like, I didn't even know what you were talking about. | ||
| And I was hanging on every goddamn word. | ||
| And then it was like, oh shit, he's, this shit is crazy. | ||
| Like, I'm like, no, I appreciate it. | ||
| Then he said the next one was even more, like Mitchell, it's like, then I started like, he, his goddamn ability to tell his story. | ||
| He's seeing it through a different lens. | ||
| Like, whatever lens he's seeing it through, he's making me see it through that same lens. | ||
| And I have no goddamn idea what he's even talking about. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing about someone when they're really locked in on stage. | ||
| I've always said this. | ||
| I feel like I'm thinking through their mind. | ||
| Like, I'm allowing them to take over my mind. | ||
| Take me on a journey. | ||
| That's why when someone's shitty or hacky, or it's like, ah, why are you using my mind? | ||
| Why are you bothering? | ||
| Why are you borrowing my mind? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I can't watch this. | ||
| I'm super sensitive to bad comedy. | ||
| What? | ||
| I can't watch it. | ||
| It's contagious. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's like if I see you, and I never thought this before until somebody said, hey man, this dude did a bad set and then he tried to shake my hand. | ||
| I didn't want him to touch me. | ||
| I didn't want the shit on me. | ||
| Don't put that shit on me. | ||
| It's contagious. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that's rude as shit. | ||
| And then somebody did a bad set and he walked up to me and I start walking the other way like, ah, don't fucking touch me. | ||
| Don't do that shit. | ||
| You gonna give me COVID? I don't want... | ||
| Wednesday night, Ron White had his friend. | ||
| He claims she's funny. | ||
| I'm sure she's a nice lady. | ||
| Anyway, she just didn't belong. | ||
| You can't follow Ron White when you're an amateur. | ||
| You just can't. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| You gotta be a fucking touring, rock-solid, set-up punchline, bam, bam, bam, good premises. | ||
| You gotta be good to follow Ron fucking White. | ||
| She was not. | ||
| And not only did she eat dick, but then she came and hung out with us in the green room. | ||
| I'm like, fuck, I gotta go up next. | ||
| So Tony's on stage, killing, and the first five minutes, he's just roasting her. | ||
| And I'm back there, and she's making excuses and talking. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god, I gotta get out of this room. | ||
| He dragged her into the green room. | ||
| Now she's back there just Just coughing bad comedy at us Go no I'm like, oh no. | ||
| So I start playing music loud. | ||
| I'm moving around. | ||
| I'm shadow boxing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wanted to leave. | |
| You wanted to leave too, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Jamie was there. | ||
| I'm not exaggerating, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| And everybody felt it. | ||
| Even Ron felt it. | ||
| He's like, well, you know, it wasn't the best set. | ||
| Man, it's weird because me listening... | ||
| First, big up to Ron White. | ||
| Classy, very classy man. | ||
| He's the man. | ||
| Ron, just imagine getting this phone call. | ||
| I'm getting ready to do Orlando improv. | ||
| My agent, Joe Eschabon, who I love dearly. | ||
| Joe calls me and says, hey, just want to run this by you. | ||
| Someone wants to feature for you. | ||
| I'm like, no, I'm cool. | ||
| I got my feature, Marcus Wilde. | ||
| I'm cool. | ||
| He's like, just hear me out. | ||
| He's working on some new stuff. | ||
| He's coming back. | ||
| He just wants to be around a comic who is a good comic. | ||
| I'm like, Joe, who is this? | ||
| You're taking too long. | ||
| He's like, Ron White. | ||
| I was like, I'm not fucking with some guy that has stole Ron's white name. | ||
| Like, Ron White from Orlando? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| He's like, no. | ||
| Ron White White. | ||
| And I was like, and I doubled down and I'm like, Ron White White? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, the fucking man Ron White? | |
| He's like, yes. | ||
| I'm like, I can't even get my yes together. | ||
| I'm like, fucking yes? | ||
| Like, yeah, I get to fucking work with Ron White? | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| I said, he wants to, he wants to metal? | ||
| He's like, yeah, he's got like 20, 25 minutes. | ||
| I said, do he want a headline? | ||
| Like, I'll let him headline. | ||
| Just to fucking, like, relinquish my weekend to Ron White and just come feature us and do some host shit or whatever. | ||
| He's like, no, he says he just want to, yeah. | ||
| So I get there and I'm already anticipating he's a legend. | ||
| He's going to be in the green room doing the shit. | ||
| Everybody knows I like to be in my green room first and invite you in. | ||
| But I'm relinquishing all that shit because it's Ron White. | ||
| I get there. | ||
| Ron White is the fucking constant professional. | ||
| Not in the green room. | ||
| He comes to the green room. | ||
| He knocks on the door. | ||
| Hey, what's wrong? | ||
| And I'm sitting there all like, "Fucking Ron White, please fucking Ron White, wait." He got his bus outside. | ||
| He's hanging in his bus. | ||
| Then he came up and started hanging in green with us. | ||
| And he's like, look, I'm going to go out here and do the raggedest 20 minutes that I just put together and trying to get this shit together. | ||
| Now, I'm going out and I'm going to watch. | ||
| This is fucking Ron White. | ||
| Stellar, 20 minutes. | ||
| Fucking killing. | ||
| I'm so caught up in what he... | ||
| They about to introduce me and I'm in the back to him. | ||
| Look, shit was amazing. | ||
| And we talking and he's like, I'll leave you. | ||
| You gotta go up. | ||
| I'm like, oh shit. | ||
| So I go up and he comes in the showroom and he's watching from the beginning. | ||
| And I'm doing my thing. | ||
| After the show, he comes in, he's like, look here, kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You are fucking incredible. | |
| Like, I tried to give it to you. | ||
| I tried to rattle you, because his shit was so crisp. | ||
| Like, it was still a class. | ||
| Like, he's like, man. | ||
| So the rest of the weekend, we just chatting it up. | ||
| I'm like, I'm fucking kicking it with Ron White. | ||
| And then my mom's like, man, these places. | ||
| And every night he's just giving me a little more something about, you know, you can go a little deeper in that story, you know, because you had me. | ||
| You had me, kid. | ||
| And he noticed that I would start a story and stop and start doing another story. | ||
| And he said, you keep leaving me, kid. | ||
| Like, I'm still trying to figure out what happened with your uncle. | ||
| Like, I didn't go back? | ||
| You're like, no, you fucking didn't go back! | ||
| And I'm like, oh shit, I gotta start going back. | ||
| And I'm like... | ||
| If she knows him, why are you not picking up the jewels from him? | ||
| She can't. | ||
| You gotta watch. | ||
| When did you come Wednesday night? | ||
| What time did you get to the club? | ||
| Right when I walked in. | ||
| You missed the chaos. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| You can't fix it. | ||
| It's like me breathing underwater. | ||
| It's not gonna happen. | ||
| It's not gonna happen. | ||
| There's nothing to do. | ||
| You can't fix it. | ||
| I mean, maybe on another time, in another state of mind, with different material, maybe she could do well. | ||
| But in that moment, there was no fixing it. | ||
| There's no advice to be given. | ||
| She came up with a notebook. | ||
| Yeah, you came up with notes and panicked, didn't have the mic close to her mouth. | ||
| Everything was wrong. | ||
| And I don't think she knew she was gonna go up until like right before Ron went up. | ||
| Ron told her he's gonna bring her. | ||
| I'm gonna bring you up. | ||
| I'm gonna bring you up. | ||
| Because he came in the background. | ||
| This was the first problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, she's a really good writer. | |
| Don't say that. | ||
| This is what I want to hear. | ||
| She's fucking hilarious. | ||
| She's fucking hilarious. | ||
| Can she do a guest set? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Friend of mine is a really good writer. | ||
| I'm like, ooh. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What else? | ||
| How is she at delivering this writing? | ||
| Yeah, I don't think any of my friends have ever said that they Bryson Brown is from Austin. | ||
| He's fucking hysterical. | ||
| That's how I introduce him. | ||
| Like, yo, this is Bryson Brown. | ||
| He's fucking hysterical. | ||
| Yeah, you want an overall assessment of their ability on stage. | ||
| Not like a little tiny area that they're good at. | ||
| It's an important area, being a good writer. | ||
| Very important. | ||
| But without delivery and timing and presence and everything, it's... | ||
| Are you good? | ||
| Hey, um... | ||
| She's a good setup. | ||
| She set up jokes. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| She set up Tony. | ||
| Tony destroyed that lady. | ||
| That ruthless little motherfucker. | ||
| There is no one alive that you want to bomb in front of when you're going to bring up Tony. | ||
| Because he roasted her. | ||
| I mean, he had seven or eight solid minutes just killing her when he went on stage. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| You have to acknowledge the elephant in the room. | ||
| And I hate... | ||
| I used to hate doing it. | ||
| I used to hate doing it, period. | ||
| But Bill Bellamy, he's a nice guy, but he has a mean streak in him that is outstanding. | ||
| On the tour with him, I used to host this tour, and somebody would ask for a guest spot, and he would come in and be like, I'll eat 777. I'm like, oh shit, who just asked for a goddamn guest spot? | ||
| So now... | ||
| People don't know what we about to do to you. | ||
| Like, I'm going to come out, and usually I would do 15, I'd just skate into it, but I'm coming out with seven minutes of straight fucking home runs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bow, bow! | |
| I'm stacking this shit on these people. | ||
| People still laughing at the first joke. | ||
| I'm on joke number five. | ||
| I'm fucking stacking it on. | ||
| And when I leave them, people are going to be still laughing when I bring you up. | ||
| They're not even going to think about shit you're saying because they're still laughing from joke number three. | ||
| And I'm going to bring you up. | ||
| And I'ma sit you right in that fucking pressure cooker. | ||
| And you're gonna, I don't give a damn, you're gonna die if you can't fucking surf. | ||
| Because I put a hundred foot wave on your ass. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Then you die. | ||
| And then I go up and I put another seven minutes of your dying on top of it. | ||
| And Bill's like, I hate when people ask us for guest spots. | ||
| I'm like, ah, you fucking evil man! | ||
| You sent the fucking junkyard dog to destroy somebody. | ||
| I'm like, eh. | ||
| But for that person that did that set and bombed, if they can figure out how to follow you when you're crushing, if they can figure out how to ride that wave, that is so important. | ||
| That lady, Mitzi Shore, that's what she did every fucking time. | ||
| If you were a good comic because she thought you had some potential and you were young, she would throw you on after a killer. | ||
| Who's on? | ||
| Who's on the lineup? | ||
| For me, it was Martin Lawrence. | ||
| In the 90s, dude, you never saw anybody eat it. | ||
| Like seeing me going on after Martin Lawrence when he was in the leather jumpsuit days. | ||
| People don't remember. | ||
| They don't remember. | ||
| 95 Martin Lawrence? | ||
| 1995? | ||
| My God! | ||
| My God! | ||
| His timing, his facial expressions, the power! | ||
| Chris Rock, to this day, talks about a time where he bombed going after Martin Lawrence and it changed his career. | ||
| Because he had been doing too many easy shows. | ||
| He'd been doing too many of those New York City, like, cellar spots. | ||
| Like, everybody's so happy to see you. | ||
| You can kind of be casual. | ||
| And he's headlining. | ||
| And Martin Lawrence is throwing lightning bolts. | ||
| Just. | ||
| The whole room was just. | ||
| He was so good. | ||
| He was so dynamic. | ||
| He would pace the stage. | ||
| He had so much energy when he would hit his punchlines and hold his facial expressions. | ||
| You'd be like, God, I can't even watch this. | ||
| I'm going to my death. | ||
| I'm going to my death. | ||
| I went to my death. | ||
| I followed Martin Lawrence dozens of times. | ||
| Dozens. | ||
| Let me tell you what I love about an honest comic. | ||
| You know how many comics wouldn't say that they went behind somebody that was just fucking an absolute monster? | ||
| Like, yo, man, this shit is a problem. | ||
| Like, how am I gonna match this shit? | ||
| Like, I can imagine going up after Martin. | ||
| Martin's still hungry. | ||
| He out there fucking getting it. | ||
| He was in his 30s. | ||
| It's Martin Lawrence in his 30s with a leather jumpsuit on. | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| You're fucked. | ||
| People don't remember, man. | ||
| If you go back to You So Crazy, goddamn he was good. | ||
| In my mind, he's like, you know, when you talk about the greats, because, you know, he went and did the TV show and didn't tour as much and didn't put out as much comedy material. | ||
| So a lot of people that weren't around in the 90s forget how good he was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dude, I eat dick going after that guy. | ||
| But it taught me. | ||
| It taught me how to ride the wave. | ||
| It taught me how to start strong. | ||
| It taught me how to cut all the bullshit out. | ||
| And to look at your act, scrutinize it. | ||
| Look at it with a microscope. | ||
| Get rid of some of that shit that's not that good. | ||
| Fix the setup. | ||
| You better do it right. | ||
| You better sound like a fucking professional. | ||
| You're going on after one of the best comedians walking the face of the planet. | ||
| And back then, he might have been number one. | ||
| He might have been number one in 95. He might have been number one. | ||
| He was murdering. | ||
| I mean, I would be in the back room terrified just hearing the roars. | ||
| I remember times being places and you going up behind people that fucking assassins. | ||
| Tony Roberts, I don't know if you know Tony Roberts, but he is so quick. | ||
| It's just rapid fire shit. | ||
| And people used to be like, hey man, can't nobody follow Tony. | ||
| There's nobody in the planet can follow Tony. | ||
| And I remember being at a spot and people was like, yo, Tony's up right now, you going up next. | ||
| I'm like, cool. | ||
| I'd already been able to ride the wave. | ||
| I'm not going up to compete with Tony. | ||
| I'm going up to do my shit. | ||
| And I remember being offended during this show that a person thought that I couldn't follow Tony and they switched up the lineup. | ||
| And I was fucking pissed. | ||
| And I said, okay. | ||
| And I went out, and I got a standing ovation, and Tony Roberts was the person that said he was right there when the production person said. | ||
| So the first comic got a standing ovation. | ||
| What the fuck do we do now? | ||
| It was like, because you thought that I was... | ||
| Like, they had played me like I was some fucking... | ||
| Throw on the show. | ||
| And they was like, yo, Ali just gotta stand an ovation. | ||
| And DL opened the door of his green room and said, what did y'all think he was gonna do? | ||
| You fucking disrespected him. | ||
| Because he's like, yo, he don't... | ||
| It doesn't matter... | ||
| Where I go. | ||
| Because I know what I'm going to do when I get there. | ||
| And I learned very early on because I was going up behind people. | ||
| Benji Brown at the Coconut Grove Improv, he had my folks laughing so hard that a dude came in the green room and sat down and was laughing. | ||
| He was on his way from the bathroom. | ||
| He just busted the green room and he said, man, this motherfucker killing me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he said that was the green room? | |
| And you could hear it. | ||
| You could hear it. | ||
| Because the green room was like right behind the stage. | ||
| And you could hear it. | ||
| Like Benji Brown is fucking destroying this room. | ||
| And he's doing this character, Kiki. | ||
| And he's like, yo. | ||
| And it's this loud-pitched ghetto girl, and he's fucking destroying this room. | ||
| And then he stops and says, let me bring up the next comic. | ||
| You're like, god damn! | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's people dead in here! | |
| You gotta go out! | ||
| The Coconut Grove improv is where I saw Joey Diaz put people in their grave. | ||
| Because Joey Diaz would go up there and do half his punchlines in Spanish. | ||
| And you would have like a 40% Cuban audience. | ||
| And Joey Diaz would have la binga! | ||
| And he would hit some fucking Spanish punchlines. | ||
| And people would just throw their chairs up in the air. | ||
| They were falling down to the ground, knocking over tables. | ||
| It was chaos. | ||
| And then Joey was middling. | ||
| So Joey, this was back in the day when Joey was coming up, and they would have some road act who did HBO in 1984 and still has the same material, and they would have to go on after Joey. | ||
| I saw people quit. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Quit. | ||
| That shit is... | ||
| Fantastic when you like, yo man, this shit is Damon Wayans. | ||
| Damon Wayans, I'm middle for Damon Wayans. | ||
| Because whatever his middle act was fucking up. | ||
| And he said it was too dark. | ||
| So they called me. | ||
| And at the end of the weekend, I never went in the green room. | ||
| He called me in the green room on Sunday. | ||
| Come in, I sat down. | ||
| I said, hey, how you doing this way? | ||
| He said, how... | ||
|
unidentified
|
How does it feel to be a fucking assassin? | |
| I said, what? | ||
| He said, I used to do this to people. | ||
| I used to fucking go on stage and destroy people. | ||
| You're a fucking assassin. | ||
| Are you moving to LA? I'm like, no, I'm right. | ||
| He's like, fucking assassin. | ||
| That's a nice feeling. | ||
| Bobby Lee. | ||
| Bobby Lee. | ||
| I'm hosting a show. | ||
| Bobby Lee had a lady that was in the middle of that. | ||
| And after the first show, Bobby, we at the Houston Improv, Bobby called me in the room, in the green room and said, Hey, I'm not going to fire you. | ||
| I'm not going to fire you. | ||
| I just want you to be honest with me. | ||
| Are you a host? | ||
| I'm like, I'm the host? | ||
| He's like, are you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what the fuck I'm saying. | |
| Are you a host? | ||
| I'm like, nah. | ||
| He's like, I fucking knew it. | ||
| Improv always doing this shit to me. | ||
| Giving me the strongest motherfucker in the city. | ||
| He's doing 30 minutes. | ||
| I'm feeling the rest of the time. | ||
| He's like, I fucking knew it. | ||
| And Bobby was going out doing his clothes up first. | ||
| He was like, he's so fucking insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He was like, you come to the stage, Bobby Lee, next thing Bobby Lee, pants are off. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Dick's out. | ||
| I'm starting with this. | ||
| Not fucking finna bury me behind the fucking host. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| Sometimes you have to do that. | ||
| You have to go out with your strongest shit first. | ||
| You can't dilly-dally when someone murders. | ||
| You better take them up to the same RPMs. | ||
| And the thing is, I want the young commies out there that's listening probably, don't think that you murdering a headliner with the local shit. | ||
| If it's local, you're not, I'm on Martin Luther King! | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| If you murder, you gotta murder with your shit. | ||
| Real shit. | ||
| Real shit. | ||
| It can't be the fluff. | ||
| You know, I lived in Boston, and there were some of the best comics alive back then. | ||
| But they all had local shit. | ||
| And when they would go on the road, like local shit in Boston would kill at 100%. | ||
| You go on the road, it was 30%. | ||
| It was like the same bits. | ||
| Nobody knew what the fuck you were talking about. | ||
| Nobody cared about that accent. | ||
| Nobody cared about those references to like the Red Sox. | ||
| Nobody gave a fuck. | ||
| And all those bits were useless. | ||
| And those guys just stayed. | ||
| Some of the best comics I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| They lived in Boston, they stayed in Boston, and they got trapped. | ||
| They got trapped by local shit. | ||
| They were local celebrities, and they got trapped doing local shit, and they never did the road. | ||
| I'm just saying, if you want to know how not to be locked into local shit, even if you're in a place where you started, Look at my special. | ||
| I shot my special in Houston. | ||
| You can't tell it's Houston. | ||
| I'm talking about things in Houston, but from a wide-eyed lens. | ||
| But it's not about Houston. | ||
| It's about life. | ||
| It's about life. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| And it's very intimate, which is what I like. | ||
| I like a special in a comedy club. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think there's something better about it. | ||
| If I'm watching at home, I'm in my living room, I want to watch it in an intimate environment. | ||
| I want to be in an intimate environment in the audience. | ||
| If I'm watching someone on stage and they're in a fuck, like Kevin Hart did his shit in like 50,000 people. | ||
| It's like, Jesus Christ, how do I even pretend I'm there? | ||
| But when I'm watching you, and I'm watching you on stage at a comedy club, there's a normal-sized stage, intimate with the audience, you're seeing the people in the front row, you're smiling, you're having fun, I'm there. | ||
| I'm there. | ||
| You locked in the moment. | ||
| Where'd you do it? | ||
| Houston Improv. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can't tell because of the curtain in the background. | |
| That's a great fucking room. | ||
| That's a great fucking room. | ||
| 400 people and me. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| And we just went on a... | ||
| And the crazy thing is when people know that they're coming to see you do the journey. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's weird because the people who came... | ||
| I did it during the weekend that I was there. | ||
| So the people who saw the show on Thursday and Friday is like... | ||
| That shit didn't happen! | ||
| So then the people who saw it on Saturday got the whole Hollywood... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because, you know, Eric Abrams, the same person who shot my stuff for Comedy Central and This Is Not Happening with Ari, I got them. | ||
| I wanted that look. | ||
| And Eric is a fucking great director. | ||
| Like... | ||
| It's really not about him. | ||
| It's about what you want. | ||
| And he just suggests shit like, what do you think about this? | ||
| I wasn't thinking about it, but now that I am. | ||
| So he just suggests, do you really need that? | ||
| And he's like, I don't. | ||
| And it comes together. | ||
| Him and Jordan. | ||
| Jordan did the lights. | ||
| It looks like, that was one of the things, and especially when somebody notices it, when my guy called me and said, man, let me tell you the most amazing shit. | ||
| It looks like a classic. | ||
| It looks like 1985. Pull it up, Jamie. | ||
| Let me see the video. | ||
| Because there's something about, get a look at it. | ||
| Like, look it, man. | ||
| That's classic. | ||
| Classic Comedy Club. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| Perfect size stage. | ||
| Perfect intimacy with the crowd. | ||
| I was thinking that, man, because I just did stand-up live with Tony. | ||
| I did a guest set. | ||
| I was not even supposed to be there. | ||
| In Phoenix? | ||
| Phoenix, yeah. | ||
| I fucking love that club! | ||
| I fucking love that club. | ||
| And I was there, and I was thinking, God damn, maybe I should film my fucking special here. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| It's some comedy clubs that I think that I've set up so perfect. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Man, Stand Up Live in Phoenix. | ||
| Zaney's in Nashville. | ||
| Zaney's in Nashville is flawless. | ||
| Oh my god, that's a great club. | ||
| God damn, it's good. | ||
| Levity Live in West Nyack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| That's a great one. | ||
| This is what we ought to do. | ||
| I always put myself in shit. | ||
| I just told Ari that we had to do a festival. | ||
| We travel to festivals around the world. | ||
| He's Jewish, I'm Muslim, like the Muslim-Jew festival review with me and Ari just going to weird-ass festivals. | ||
| We ought to see between me and you Take a month to go to all these clubs and see how many specials we can shoot in these clubs in a month. | ||
| You mean just film all the shows? | ||
| 30 minutes. | ||
| We go to these clubs and shoot a new 30 minutes in each one of these clubs. | ||
| So you do 30, he does 30? | ||
| No. | ||
| Me and you. | ||
| This is me and you. | ||
| You do 30, I do 30 in each one of these great film clubs and put it out as a series of going to clubs, the best comedy clubs to shoot a special in. | ||
| Comedy Works in Denver is another one. | ||
| I've never played it. | ||
| What? | ||
| I've never played it. | ||
| It's like I'm boxed into some weird shit that's behind the scenes that I don't know what's going on. | ||
| What do you mean you tried to get in? | ||
| I'm waiting to get in. | ||
| I'll get you in. | ||
| I'll get you in today. | ||
| I'll call Wendy today. | ||
| I would love to pick that up. | ||
| Yeah, let's do that. | ||
| I'll fix that. | ||
| Yeah, you need to be there. | ||
| That's one of the great clubs of the world. | ||
| These are clubs that people don't talk about. | ||
| I hear about the cellar, and I'm not knocking the cellar, but you know another club that they remodeled? | ||
| He remodeled it, and I think I was the first person in there when he remodeled it. | ||
| It's weird looking, but it's so fucking intimate. | ||
| The Comedy Zone in Charlotte. | ||
| Never done it. | ||
| It's so intimate. | ||
| And they're around you. | ||
| Like, improv is a fucking great club. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Another club. | ||
| DC Improv. | ||
| Oh, it's an amazing club. | ||
| Amazing club. | ||
| DC Improv's flawless. | ||
| Flawless. | ||
| It's no... | ||
| Man, it's fucking... | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's flawless. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| Perfect comedy club. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a few of those. | ||
| Perfect height ceiling. | ||
| Perfect size stage. | ||
| Connected to the crowd. | ||
| Rick Bronson's don't look bad to shoot them in. | ||
| It's a Rick Bronson's... | ||
| They don't look bad with that fucking... | ||
| That stand-up live is... | ||
| Stand Up Live in Phoenix is one of the great clubs. | ||
| And it's big. | ||
| 600 seats. | ||
| It's big. | ||
| But the roar. | ||
| The roar when you're killing. | ||
| Okay, they moved the Hollywood Improv to, I think it's Dana Beach. | ||
| It's the Improv in Florida. | ||
| So they moved it out of the Hard Rock? | ||
| They moved it out of the Hard Rock. | ||
| It's Dana Beach now. | ||
| That's a nice-ass club. | ||
| I haven't been in a year. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| What you think about Cobb City? | ||
| Which one? | ||
| Cobb's Comedy Club. | ||
| The old Cobbs was amazing. | ||
| I used to take a pay cut to do the old Cobbs because I used to do... | ||
| I used to do the punchline, which was great. | ||
| The punchline's still great. | ||
| But Cobbs, the old Cobbs, was so intimate. | ||
| It was maybe 140, 150 people just stuffed into a room. | ||
| And it was just perfect. | ||
| It was so intimate. | ||
| And then the new Cobbs... | ||
| It's like this big high ceiling and then there's a balcony but it's way in the back. | ||
| And the balcony is way in the back and it's like elevated. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| It's a great place but it's not perfect. | ||
| Funny, some of these clubs I don't even think... | ||
| Maybe it's me, because I guess I don't have a permanent audience just yet, but some of these clubs, when you go in, it's not even the club. | ||
| The club is fucking fantastic, but the audiences that come there, you're like... | ||
| Hey, look, do I need to read all the shit that I read first and tell y'all about it so I can come do it so you can be familiar with some of the shit that's going on in the fucking world? | ||
| Like where? | ||
| Like what place? | ||
| Right off the bat, Toledo. | ||
| Toledo, Ohio. | ||
| It's like fucking pulling teeth. | ||
| It sounds like a place where you'd be pulling teeth. | ||
| Toledo. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| It's a... | ||
| I'm gonna say sometimes Syracuse is fucking weird. | ||
| Upstate New York's weird, period. | ||
| Yeah, Syracuse, Albany. | ||
| You're like, God damn it, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| Anything outside of Chicago, any of the clubs around, outside of Chicago, you're like, God damn, y'all don't read shit. | ||
| But that Levittown, is that what it is? | ||
| Levittown. | ||
| No, no, the improv, no, Shamsburg, that's what it is. | ||
| Shamsburg. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's kind of Chicago. | ||
| It's uppity as shit. | ||
| It's the suburbs. | ||
| It's like, eh, I don't know what the fuck you're saying. | ||
| You fucking know, like, good. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| Chicago, though. | ||
| Chicago's a great comedy city. | ||
| Fuck, that's a great city. | ||
| I miss Jokes and Notes. | ||
| That was a place that I played. | ||
| And I played the Zanies there once. | ||
| It was a great experience. | ||
| I like some of the old nostalgia clubs, too. | ||
| When I go there, you know that it's been here for a long-ass time. | ||
| Or a weird spot. | ||
| I go to the Punchline in Atlanta, where it's inside the Landmark Diner. | ||
| I hate the green room, but I like the fact that I walk through some crowded, chaired room, and it feels like they still smoking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The old punchline was great. | ||
| Oh man, it was beautiful. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| That was an amazing room. | ||
| And they got rid of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, fuck. | |
| Well, I think they lost to Elyse or something like that. | ||
| It's just like being a comic and being a professional comic and being able to work these places and touring the road. | ||
| When I was a kid, man, that seemed to me to be like an impossibility. | ||
| To be a headliner and touring the road and being able to work these fucking amazing clubs like the Punchline, like Zany's. | ||
| It's like that was always the dream. | ||
| One of the things I love about those old places, too, like Zany's, is you get to look in the wall and you'll see old headshots. | ||
| Headshots from the early 80s. | ||
| Faded. | ||
| I think they... | ||
| This is a room that I like, that I'm very, very comfortable in. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It is in North Carolina as well. | ||
| Charlie Goodnight. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| That's a great room. | ||
| I think they move in the building as well. | ||
| I think they did something different there. | ||
| I haven't been to the new place. | ||
| Man, I would go down and look at the old pictures and then go play. | ||
| It's a nostalgia to some of these rooms. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like going there, but when you think about shooting, the room feels warm and you feel like I can do some other things to the room to make it a little warmer and just go in and fucking crush it. | ||
| They got good audiences in certain places. | ||
| Well, they have a long history of having... | ||
| Charlie Goodnight's been around a long time, so everybody's come through there. | ||
| So all the people that live in that area know that you go to Charlie Goodnight's on any Friday and Saturday night, you're going to get great comedy. | ||
| They only get great comedians there. | ||
| It's like, you've got to work there. | ||
| It's a classic club. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| There's also a next-door honky-tonk bar. | ||
| And that was my first experience with country-western music. | ||
| Not even live, but just in a place where people listen to it. | ||
| We went over there. | ||
| It was me and Duncan and I think Joey. | ||
| And we went next door. | ||
| And they're playing music that I've never heard before. | ||
| But everybody knows the words. | ||
| And they're all singing along. | ||
| Down by the river! | ||
| They're all singing along to these songs and fucking hooting and hollering. | ||
| This is like I stepped into another dimension. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| It is... | ||
| Man, it's weird that I can go into this same dimension. | ||
| Alan Jackson. | ||
| Like, I grew up, I didn't listen to country music, but I knew about country music because my granddad would watch westerns and, you know, you listen to Hank Aaron. | ||
| Not Hank Aaron. | ||
| Hank Williams. | ||
| Hank Williams. | ||
| And then this guy, Alan Jackson. | ||
| I'm just flipping through the stations one time and I heard, you know like when you go to another city you put on Scan and going through the radio station, trying to find a radio station. | ||
| And way downtown on the Chattahoochee, this is, and it called me, a whole bunch of lovin' in a oochie coochie and I had to find out who the fuck sung this song. | ||
| I was like, in it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here, look at him. | |
| Look at him. | ||
| Look at that outfit. | ||
| When did that fucking song come out? | ||
| That must be like 1985 or something like that. | ||
| Look at the way he's dressed. | ||
| No, this is the 90s. | ||
| No. | ||
| Can't be. | ||
| Got to be. | ||
| Seems like it's from another time. | ||
| Ween down yonder on a Chattahoochee. | ||
| Way down yonder. | ||
| I just was stunned by the fact that there was a whole other world that I didn't know about, this country-western world. | ||
| And all these people were into it. | ||
| And then I would do local radio, and they'd want to talk to me about NASCAR. Did you see NASCAR? Did you see what Dale did? | ||
| And you're like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Everybody knew. | ||
| They knew about NASCAR the way most people know about the Super Bowl. | ||
| I've been to NASCAR. What was it like? | ||
| One time. | ||
| One time. | ||
| And Dana, this was the first time that she was the lead car. | ||
| So get there. | ||
| It's an amazing experience. | ||
| Like we went into the pit. | ||
| We went into the trailers. | ||
| Like they have enough stuff in a trailer to build another car. | ||
| Like, they tell you how many cars they carry with them just in case something happens. | ||
| And they have enough stuff in their trailer to rebuild a car. | ||
| And some of the pit crews are ex-football players that got in this just for competition. | ||
| Like, I didn't know they had pit crew competitions to see who can... | ||
| Change everything the fastest. | ||
| And a lot of these people are ex-football players that still need the competition and they getting it on. | ||
| And I never forget about how when the race started, all these cars take off and it's so loud. | ||
| And how I was rooting for the last car. | ||
| So all these cars were like, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. | ||
| Then this one car comes, zoom. | ||
| Zoom! | ||
| I was like, go! | ||
| He lapped him. | ||
| He's fucking last, last. | ||
| But the incredible thing was Ray Lewis did the start. | ||
| Walt Frazier was there. | ||
| And all the attorneys, all the attorneys for NASCAR were young black women that graduated from law school, and they were all their attorneys. | ||
| Like, they did all the legal stuff. | ||
| But the audience is all white people. | ||
| Everywhere's food. | ||
| They're campers. | ||
| And some of the littlest shorts you ever want to see on a human being. | ||
| God damn. | ||
| All this shit was exciting to me. | ||
| I'm like, yo, why does she have on boots with these shorts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I want to go to that I haven't been to? | |
| The Kentucky Derby. | ||
| I was in town one time when the Kentucky Derby was happening. | ||
| I heard it's wild. | ||
| Could not find... | ||
| I had to stay across the river. | ||
| Like, it was no hotels in town. | ||
| I was trying to stay at the Silbach and all that. | ||
| They're like, no. | ||
| And it was so ritzy. | ||
| Like, I didn't get a chance to go, but I would love to go. | ||
| I heard it's wild. | ||
| I had no interest until I read The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved by Hunter S. Thompson. | ||
| I read that and I was like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| And his depiction of all these rich, fucked up people gambling and betting on these horse races. | ||
| And what the scene is like. | ||
| That it's this wild social scene of these decadent, depraved people all getting together. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god, I gotta go. | ||
| I need to book a gig around it. | ||
| Our interest in the same thing comes from so far different places. | ||
| I hear all the rich people doing so much. | ||
| I want to see the chaos. | ||
| I want to go to the Kentucky Derby. | ||
| Because the first 15, when I read about the Kentucky Derby, how it started, the first 15 were all won by African American jockeys. | ||
| And how the purse came about and the history of it. | ||
| And that's why I want to go. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I want to see the chaos. | ||
| Well, I'm a giant Hunter S. Thompson fan, you know? | ||
| And so, like, when I read his writing about it, it just, like, brought me there. | ||
| Like, I was appreciating his appreciation of just the fucking scene. | ||
| Just the wild scene of it all. | ||
| And how crazy it was to him as a writer, as a journalist, going there to cover it. | ||
| And he's covering it on acid, and he's all fucked up, and they're drinking all day. | ||
| And, you know, Hunter's writing was always like that. | ||
| It was always this wild mixture of... | ||
| Pure exaggeration and fiction with fact and reality and like an assessment of the social dynamics, like a psychological examination of the people that were involved. | ||
| When did he write about it? | ||
| That was one of the first pieces that he did, I believe he did that before he did his big Sports Illustrated piece, which turned out to be Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. | ||
| 1970. Yeah, so that was... | ||
| And then Fear and Loathing was when? | ||
| I think Fear and Loathing was his breakout thing. | ||
| They hired him. | ||
| I feel like they hired him for Sports Illustrated to go and write about... | ||
| 71 is when that was published. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So it was like the same time. | ||
| And when was the first Kentucky Derby ever ran? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm going to say 1928. I'm going to say 1890. Yeah, I think it's like 100 and... | |
| I've done 100 and plus. | ||
| 1875. 1875. But when a thing becomes a thing, like a place where people go and they know they're going to go get fucked up, and they know they're going to gamble, and it becomes a thing. | ||
| They wear the big hats with feathers and shit, and the ladies wear all their jewels. | ||
| What is going on here? | ||
| Is this at the Kentucky Derby? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they're just running. | |
| He's running across porta-potties, and people are cheering him on. | ||
| Like, this kind of shit. | ||
| And they're throwing bottles at him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, they... | ||
| There he goes. | ||
| He's down. | ||
| It's so far different from the original Kentucky Derby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did he fall in the shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it looks like it. | |
| Oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he? | |
| Is he covered in shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It could have been raining. | |
| It could have been doing, like, mudsliding or something, too. | ||
| He's drinking? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| He definitely fell in the shit. | ||
| Oh, that's so unnecessary. | ||
| That's so unnecessary. | ||
| I wonder if Hunter caused more people to act more crazy there, because his writing was so influential and so popular. | ||
| I wonder if he probably accentuated the experience for people that wanted to go to just get fucked up and just watch. | ||
| But it's like you have the aristocrats, the socialites, the people that go there and they wear their expensive suits and their big rings and they pull up in chauffeured cars and they get out. | ||
| And do a bunch of debauchery right after that. | ||
| Debauchery. | ||
| It's right after that. | ||
| I don't have no underwear. | ||
| I don't know all this shit, but I don't have on underwear. | ||
| Like, you think about these experiences that people have with these kind of places. | ||
| Like, if you're one of those people, you're like some oil baron, and you got crazy money, and every year you go to the Kentucky Derby. | ||
| I imagine you just get used to being around all those other kind of people, and then every year everyone kind of ramps it up a little bit, you know? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Ramp up the chaos, ramp up the cocaine. | ||
| So is that how Mardi Gras started? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| How did Mardi Gras get started? | ||
| Mardi Gras, like, Carnaval is pretty intense. | ||
| I've never been to that. | ||
| Have you been in Rio? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It's like you're famous for people. | ||
| It's like New Year's Eve on steroids. | ||
| I went to this club called Help Disco Tech, and you need it. | ||
| Help Disco Tech. | ||
| I went on Adam and Eve night where they give you a leaf. | ||
| You put your clothes up and they give you a leaf and you in the club just a leaf on. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| And this club holds like four or five thousand people. | ||
| All what leaves on. | ||
| And it's so crazy that they know that you cannot get to the bar. | ||
| They know that you can't get to the bar. | ||
| They have bartenders with coolers strapped to them where they end up on the floor in different places and they flip the cooler up and they make your drink right there because they know you're not going to be able to get to the bar. | ||
| It's insane in this spot. | ||
| It's a live band. | ||
| It's like 12-piece live band and it's fucking insane. | ||
| And if it's 5,000 people, it's 1,000 men and 4,000 women. | ||
| If it's 4,000 people, it's 3,000 women and 1,000 men. | ||
| And I know we went in, it was maybe about 12. I know I came out of there, it was 8.30 in the morning. | ||
| I know for facts it was 8.30 in the morning. | ||
| And it's right off the beach. | ||
| And it's like, this shit is insane. | ||
| And when you fall down there, it's like people that you didn't even see in there. | ||
| You're like, oh, she was in there? | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Damn, where was she at? | ||
| Because you and your element. | ||
| I never left. | ||
| Once I walked through upstairs, I never came back. | ||
| Like, I walked through downstairs. | ||
| I went upstairs. | ||
| I never came back downstairs until it was time to leave. | ||
| Like, I never came back downstairs. | ||
| Like, it wasn't happening. | ||
| I was having a great goddamn time. | ||
| Like, I walked out of my hotel, and it was maybe like 30,000 people on the street, on a side street, dancing. | ||
| And it was people on a bus, people on the street. | ||
| And I just walked into this shit, and I was like... | ||
| Like, I was just in... | ||
| Man... | ||
| Rio is insane. | ||
| They know how to party in Brazil. | ||
| They know how to party in Brazil. | ||
| And I went to the corner of Iowa. | ||
| I think people don't understand that this is neighborhood versus neighborhood. | ||
| The Samba team is representing a neighborhood. | ||
| So it's like, just put 12 football fields together. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Stack them up. | ||
| That's how they coming down the street. | ||
| And it's people on both sides that's cheering for their Samba team. | ||
| It's insanity, man. | ||
| I've never partied. | ||
| It had to be a million people. | ||
| Going in and coming out was so insane. | ||
| I partied in. | ||
| I partied out. | ||
| I partied to concessions. | ||
| I partied in the line, go to the bathroom. | ||
| Man, I may have had sex on the street. | ||
| I don't know what I was doing. | ||
| I was fucking insane over there. | ||
| I probably have a child over there. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I got married. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Yes, this shit! | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Look at that lizard. | ||
| I'm over there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm over there on the side. | |
| Look at the lizard and the mushrooms. | ||
| Oh my God, that's incredible. | ||
| The size of that thing. | ||
| This is a neighborhood. | ||
| So when you win, your neighborhood gets money. | ||
| Everybody that's from this is from the same neighborhood. | ||
| Look at the fucking jellyfish. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| This shit. | ||
| People gotta see this shit live. | ||
| This shit is insanity. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And it's not one altercation. | ||
| That's amazing because Brazil's a wild ass fucking place. | ||
| Yeah, and I... But they put it all aside for Carnival? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Oh my god, these floats are incredible. | ||
| These people on top of them. | ||
| Look at the size of these things. | ||
| And this is an honored position to be a part of this summer team. | ||
| Look at the size of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And they represent the neighborhood, and this shit is bananas. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's bananas. | ||
| I've been to Brazil a few times for fights. | ||
| They are some of the wildest, rowdiest crowds. | ||
| Look at that, man. | ||
| This fucking dragon? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| How long does it take to construct these things? | ||
| Man, this is a big thing. | ||
| Right after this, they start for the next year. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is a big thing. | ||
| They're representing. | ||
| Man, this shit is incredible. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| And this is all themed. | ||
| This is all themed. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I know America think they do live-ass parties, but this is... | ||
| This is like 12 Super Bowls happening at the same time. | ||
| Who is that supposed to be? | ||
| Is that Bolsonaro? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It could be like Gulliver's Travels. | |
| Right, because those people were climbing. | ||
| That is fucking insane. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing. | ||
| And they lift and he was laying down at first. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| I did a movie, Live From Rio, and we was at this. | ||
| You did a movie there? | ||
| Yeah, Live From Rio with my boy Ben Williams. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| It was called Live From Rio. | ||
| It was ten black guys traveling. | ||
| We were supposed to just start, we were supposed to go here, then we were supposed to go to Tokyo. | ||
| Was it like a documentary movie? | ||
| Nah, we was just traveling and hanging out, just ten men out and about. | ||
| And so he just filmed it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that out? | ||
| Can someone see that? | ||
| Live from Rio. | ||
| On the cover is me and this guy named G. G got killed by a tenant. | ||
| In his building? | ||
| Yeah, his house. | ||
| He was renting his house out and a tenant killed him. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| But I still have some of the DVDs that we did from that. | ||
| And Who Kid did the soundtrack for it. | ||
| He DJed the soundtrack for it. | ||
| After that, Snoop and Pharrell went to Brazil and shot a video. | ||
| Brazil was bananas. | ||
| I think Brazil was Amsterdam was a wild time for me. | ||
| I had a good time in Amsterdam. | ||
| But Brazil, by far. | ||
| Just the history of Brazil when it comes to wild shit. | ||
| I mean, that's the birthplace of the UFC. They figured that shit out a long time ago. | ||
| They were doing no-rules fights in the 1940s. | ||
| Elio Gracie was fighting people from Japan in the 1940s. | ||
| They would have these big fights. | ||
| They'd come over. | ||
| Speaking of fights, June 12th, me and a comic named Steve Brown are supposed to do something. | ||
| He said he's going to do something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Like a boxing match? | ||
| Really? | ||
| He saw me on Instagram and was like, I think I can take it. | ||
| He told somebody else and then they told me. | ||
| How much does he weigh? | ||
| He say 194. So he weighs 215. I said it off the top. | ||
| I'm like, yo, he's 205, 210. I already know it because he don't know how much he goddamn weigh. | ||
| Is this him? | ||
| That's my boy James. | ||
| That's my trainer, James. | ||
| And Steve Brown put it on there that he wanted to do something. | ||
| I'm like, well, I come in town. | ||
| And then people... | ||
| There you go, Steve Brown. | ||
| Well, people can't do this to me. | ||
| You can't say, you want to box me, you know my schedule. | ||
| I'm not going to be in town until the... | ||
| I'm in town on the 10th and 11th. | ||
| Well, you know I'm out of town. | ||
| I said, well, stay around. | ||
| Stay around. | ||
| And then we'll get it in. | ||
| And James, as soon as James heard it, James was like, shit. | ||
| Do you want this guy to lose any weight? | ||
| What do you weigh? | ||
| Like 170? | ||
| No, I'm 160. 160. Yeah, I'm going to go down. | ||
| By the time we fight, I go down 10 pounds. | ||
| And he is going to what? | ||
| Probably weight coming in at 310 pounds. | ||
| And that's going to be the worst day of his life. | ||
| He's going to be exhausted. | ||
| I can move around on him for at least the first round and then start punishing him. | ||
| How many rounds are you going to do? | ||
| He said three. | ||
| Make it five. | ||
| Let's go a little deeper. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| I'm like, whatever, man. | ||
| I think people don't understand about boxing. | ||
| When you're fighting, Your mental condition has to be... | ||
| Physical condition definitely has to be in order, but your mental condition. | ||
| Because this is not the punching bag. | ||
| This is not the gloves. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And are you conditioned for a fight? | ||
| Like, sparring. | ||
| When you spar, the next day... | ||
| Some shit is wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, why my neck don't move? | |
| Yeah, because you fucking got hit. | ||
| Somebody pushed your fucking neck to the side that you didn't realize. | ||
| Like, all this shit is bad. | ||
| But body shots. | ||
| Body shots hurt. | ||
| Like, hurt a lot. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And if you're not conditioned for that type of punishment, because you're going to get hit no matter how Big and how good you think you are. | ||
| You're going to get hit. | ||
| And I'm not going to take no steam off of a punch for you. | ||
| I say, well, we're doing headgear, no headgear. | ||
| Even the headgear is a problem. | ||
| Headgear is not good. | ||
| I'd rather have no headgear. | ||
| I'd rather have no headgear. | ||
| Can't see that good. | ||
| Especially when somebody keeps turning your goddamn headgear. | ||
| And there's a real argument that it causes more of a rotation of the head because it puts a bigger fulcrum. | ||
| Like you have more weight on the head and there's more mass. | ||
| So if somebody clips you and your head's spinning more and your brains rattle around inside your head more. | ||
| Because you don't get your head get turned and now you can't see and there's gonna be some more shit coming behind. | ||
| Is this something you want to do a lot of? | ||
| Or is this just someone talk shit and you're ready to do it? | ||
| My ultimate thing was I wanted Cat. | ||
| Cat said he started boxing. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| We talked about that last time. | ||
| Has he responded? | ||
| He's not going to respond because he knows the type of fucking punishment that it's going through. | ||
| I'm not going to lose. | ||
| I'm going to beat. | ||
| I want to beat you, but I think I'm easing up on him because people, Holly, you need to let some things go. | ||
| And I'm like, yo, watch the special. | ||
| It's hard for me to let things go. | ||
| It's very hard for you to let things go. | ||
| But it's... | ||
| I don't mind the physical combat of fighting. | ||
| I think it's a stress reliever. | ||
| I think when you get a chance to go with somebody that wants to go, that's the thing. | ||
| You gotta be with somebody who wanna box and who wanna fight. | ||
| Like with me and James. | ||
| James is a professional fighter. | ||
| And When he wanna go, you know, let's go. | ||
| And I know this is gonna be a hard day. | ||
| No matter how the shit starts, Me and you can start. | ||
| And once you get hit, the shit changes. | ||
| Like, yo, I know I'll leave my friend, but I'm gonna fuck him up! | ||
| Now it becomes a fight. | ||
| I gotta get my lick back. | ||
| I gotta get that shit back. | ||
| So it gets chippy. | ||
| It's hard to find sparring partners where you can just spar. | ||
| Where you can just get hit like that. | ||
| Get hit like that. | ||
| Where you're not getting lit up. | ||
| Where you're not in a fight. | ||
| It's just sparring. | ||
| Some guys, if they're cool with you and you're cool with them, you could just spar. | ||
| And you touch them. | ||
| You touch each other. | ||
| And you can do that a lot. | ||
| And it's very beneficial. | ||
| Because you get your timing in. | ||
| And you get real rounds in. | ||
| It's not fighting. | ||
| But it's tightening you up for fighting. | ||
| So you'll have these reflexive movements. | ||
| Like you'll see a check hook. | ||
| And it's just there. | ||
| It just comes out. | ||
| Because you've done it so many times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like my man Todd Emanuel just fought Victor Ortiz. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Victor Ortiz is still fighting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is he doing now? | ||
| Him and Todd Emanuel, I think it's on YouTube, too. | ||
| That fight with Floyd Mayweather was one of the weirdest fights ever. | ||
| He headbutted him. | ||
| He headbutted him, and then he tried to apologize. | ||
| And Floyd said, yeah, yeah, yeah, boom! | ||
| Dropped him with a left hook. | ||
| He was like, oh, no! | ||
| And then stopped him. | ||
| See if you can pull that up. | ||
| It is one of the craziest fights ever. | ||
| He fights out of the same gym. | ||
| Main Street fighting gym. | ||
| So this just happened. | ||
| Regis Provost. | ||
| He's a fight out of the same gym. | ||
| Oh, this is on the Lemieux undercard. | ||
| Was it Benavidez? | ||
| Who fought Lemieux? | ||
| Yeah, Benavidez. | ||
| Fucked up Lemieux. | ||
| How'd he do? | ||
| Against Victor Ortiz. | ||
| Big side. | ||
| It was a good fight. | ||
| Did he lose? | ||
| He lost. | ||
| I think it went to the scorecard. | ||
| Victor Ortiz was a world-class fighter at one point in time. | ||
| I think Todd, you know, when you're watching the fight, he'll hit me and give me some tips upon something. | ||
| I think Todd, I'd be like, yo, he was doing something. | ||
| You know, when you're watching the fight, you're like, why the fuck? | ||
| Because you're sitting there like, why the fuck you keep doing that? | ||
| When they would break, Victor would just start, like as soon as they break, as soon as they go back in, he start throwing punches. | ||
| And Todd, he covering up. | ||
| And I'm like, fucking, don't do that. | ||
| And every time he didn't do that, like he didn't cover up, as soon as Victor came in, bop, he hit him with one. | ||
| I'm like, keep doing that shit. | ||
| And I think that sometimes, because it's a mental game, it's like, It's also you're looking for breaks. | ||
| Guys are looking to take a little break. | ||
| Let's cover up here. | ||
| So here it is. | ||
| So this is when Victor Ortiz was in his prime. | ||
| And, you know, it was a good fucking fight. | ||
| I mean, he had tagged Floyd. | ||
| And look at that. | ||
| There's the headbutt. | ||
| There's the headbutt. | ||
| And then look at this. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| And then he hugs him. | ||
| He kisses him. | ||
| Didn't see the kiss. | ||
| Then... | ||
| And they take a point away from him. | ||
| And he touches his gloves like, I'm sorry, I got carried away. | ||
| And he touches it. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay, okay. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Bang! | ||
| That was crazy. | ||
| I know, but it's also like, defend yourself at all times. | ||
| Like, he thought that they were gonna, like, be friends, and then you just get stopped like that. | ||
| I mean, it's the end of his career, essentially. | ||
| Because he never really reached world-class level again, where people were thinking about him as being a world champion. | ||
| That was the fight. | ||
| And he had been in movies, right? | ||
| He'd been in a couple of movies. | ||
| Wasn't he in, like, The Expendables or something like that? | ||
| I think he was in, like, a big movie. | ||
| And that was it. | ||
| The same attack on Floyd. | ||
| He was attacking Todd. | ||
| And I think Todd knocked him down in like the last round. | ||
| Like he got him. | ||
| And I think the scorecard was too late or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How old is he now? | ||
| Victor's got to be like 37, 38 years old now, right? | ||
| If I'm guessing. | ||
| 35. Man, so when that Floyd fight happened, he had to be in his early 20s. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| He got him. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Todd got him. | ||
| Let me say that again. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Come on, hit him with it. | ||
| Bow! | ||
| Oh, that left hook and the right hand behind it. | ||
| Yeah, he got it. | ||
| Oh, he dropped him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shit! | ||
| I got it there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
35. He's like, yeah, you got me. | |
| You know what's crazy is that Floyd is still doing these exhibitions, making millions. | ||
| Oh, did you see the one he just did? | ||
| Yeah, he looked fantastic. | ||
| I'm sorry, he's like, I ain't got no hair cut for this shit. | ||
| Yeah, straggling. | ||
| I think he's enjoying that look. | ||
| Going out whooping people's ass, like, yo, for millions of dollars, I ain't got to promote this shit. | ||
| I'm just showing up, hanging out ass whooping, like... | ||
| It's like Floyd wait to get hit. | ||
| To see where you at with your power and be like, okay, now I'm gonna fucking demolish you. | ||
| He was holding the ring card girl's card and walking around. | ||
| Do you see what he was doing? | ||
| He held up the card in between rounds. | ||
| Floyd walked around with the card. | ||
| He put on a show because he's like, it's really smart because he's giving them the money's worth. | ||
| It's not just a boxing exhibition. | ||
| He's putting on a show. | ||
| He's laughing and dancing. | ||
| He's got a big smile on his face while the fight's going on. | ||
| Christian Carwell. | ||
| And that was a guy who he had sparred before. | ||
| Would you fight? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No. | ||
| I'm too banged up. | ||
| I'm too old. | ||
| I'm not interested anymore. | ||
| Muscle memory alone, you'll probably take somebody out. | ||
| Just mere muscle memory. | ||
| I'm not... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, probably. | ||
| I could fuck some people up, but I'm not interested. | ||
| It's an old man in our gym. | ||
| Main Street. | ||
| He looks like a problem. | ||
| He's so rugged and so hard that I would never even play with him. | ||
| Just go up and put your hands up just from muscle memory alone and he'll fucking destroy you. | ||
| Like he just does it so much like the shit is a problem some guys can keep it up they can like Floyd 45 years old looks fucking amazing the best example is Tyson 55 years old and they're still talking about him fighting either Logan or Jake Paul like that is crazy and I don't know what would happen if Oh, man. | ||
| If Logan Paul would beat Tyson, I would fucking just, I would die. | ||
| I think Jake would probably be the better fight. | ||
| Jake, whatever the heavier dude. | ||
| The better one is Jake. | ||
| Jake's the one who knocks people out. | ||
| Logan is more of a boxer. | ||
| I would fucking just die. | ||
| I can't believe that would happen. | ||
| I would just, I like, because Floyd, when he fought Floyd, I think Floyd was really... | ||
| When Floyd got tired of the bullshit, he just... | ||
| Yeah, he put it on him. | ||
| But he's so big. | ||
| And I think that one of them punches kind of just wobbled the shit out of him and Floyd was holding him up like, yo, don't fuck up your money. | ||
| I'm fighting this and goddamn it. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| It's the parts in that fight where Floyd was like, yo, let me show you. | ||
| I don't give a shit how big you are. | ||
| You're not on this level. | ||
| Oh, he's definitely not on that level, but I think he was too big. | ||
| And I'm telling you, it's a part in that fight where Floyd snapped his neck back, and I was like, oh shit, he gone. | ||
| And Floyd was like, you could see Floyd holding him up like, don't fall! | ||
| I didn't notice that. | ||
| I noticed Floyd was definitely outboxing the shit out of him. | ||
| But the difference between Floyd and Mike Tyson is Floyd's 155 pounds. | ||
| Mike Tyson's 220. Solid as a rock, even if he's 55. He's on all the Mexican supplements. | ||
| He's on everything. | ||
| They use electrical muscular stimulation on him. | ||
| You know what they do? | ||
| You ever seen those things they do to build you up? | ||
| He does exercises where they put these, he talked about it on the podcast, where they do these pads connected to wires. | ||
| And so he's doing these exercises and these things are like charging his muscles and it makes your muscles develop faster and better. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah, so when he got back into shape, yeah. | ||
| My wife does that shit. | ||
| You slap, like, these electrodes on you and do squats and shit. | ||
| It, like, stimulates your muscles. | ||
| It's painful, but apparently it has a big effect on the way your muscles grow. | ||
| I would love to go in the hot box and talk to Tyson. | ||
| He's great to talk to. | ||
| He gets so high. | ||
| Just to talk to him about his stay in prison. | ||
| What was it like? | ||
| Was it different then? | ||
| Because I know... | ||
| This is the thing about what people don't understand about prison. | ||
| People are like, well, Tyson was in there. | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| In prison, I wouldn't be scared. | ||
| Because you can't be scared of anyone. | ||
| You can't show that. | ||
| And you have to respond. | ||
| I wonder what people... | ||
| Because I know people in there that would be like, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| This dude named Brown. | ||
| I never would tell this story, but when Brown... | ||
| Brown was a fucking monster. | ||
| Like, I remember being an SSI. It's like you're a custodian. | ||
| And I was cleaning up lockup. | ||
| And I didn't know what Brown looked like. | ||
| I just heard him. | ||
| He was in the cell. | ||
| He was in close custody. | ||
| And he would be hitting this metal door when he was pissed. | ||
| He would be hitting this door. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| It was like a fucking silverback gorilla was in this goddamn place. | ||
| I was like, who the fuck is that? | ||
| Oh, that's Brown. | ||
| And when you would feed him, you don't give people their trades. | ||
| You can't really see it because it's a little box. | ||
| When they let him out of close custody, I mean, I actually laid eyes on Brown the day that he came out. | ||
| He came out of the cell and he ducked. | ||
| It's like the fucking Green Mile. | ||
| And I had never even saw the Green Mile. | ||
| Brown is a huge 6'8 man that was fucking huge. | ||
| There was another guy on the unit named Wynn that was from Vegas. | ||
| He was black and Italian. | ||
| That's how I learned about the Pink Floyd album. | ||
| He sung every song. | ||
| He knew every song. | ||
| My favorite song was Comfortably Numb. | ||
| He would sing that shit all the time. | ||
| And he's this Italian dude. | ||
| And he's huge. | ||
| He looked like Lou Ferrigno. | ||
| He's huge. | ||
| And I weighed by what? | ||
| 120, 125. And Brown and Wynn fucking loved me. | ||
| And they would always be fucking me. | ||
| I'd be playing basketball. | ||
| And they had universal weights on this particular unit. | ||
| And they needed more weight. | ||
| Because they would do the stack. | ||
| And they needed more weight. | ||
| and I'm like the perfect size. | ||
| And brown and wind, you would see them walking towards the court and I'd be coming down the court, I'm like yo man, going on with that bullshit. | ||
| They were like, man, either we gonna fuck up the game or you gonna come over and let us get a couple sets in. | ||
| Everybody be like, man, fuck y'all. | ||
| Y'all ain't the ones gotta go and stand on this shit like I'm standing on the universal weights. | ||
| I'm like, yo, two sets. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I'm going to fucking step on your chest. | ||
| And I'm on top of the universal ways of holding on to the USC Brown. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| That's what I'm fucking talking about. | ||
| I'm standing on the way. | ||
| I'm like, I fucking hate y'all. | ||
| And Brown used to, we had this thing called Jack Mac that we would eat. | ||
| And most people chopped it up and put it in soups and with mayonnaise and all this other shit to make it a spread. | ||
| He would pull it out the can and just put it on bread. | ||
| The bones, the skin, everything. | ||
| He would drink the juice and just be like, yeah, youngster. | ||
| These people don't know. | ||
| And he was so big, but he was like a fucking tame bear when he would talk to me. | ||
| He was like, man, my mama died. | ||
| I ought to kill everybody. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| Brown, that's not the way you solve that. | ||
| How old were you? | ||
| I was, what, 22? | ||
| You were 19 when you went in? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What'd you go in for? | ||
| Being a street pharmaceutical rep, which is very frowned upon. | ||
| Street pharmaceutical rep? | ||
| Very frowned upon. | ||
| What a great description! | ||
| Street pharmaceutical rep! | ||
| But meanwhile, being a regular pharmaceutical rep, you can do far more dangerous things, crush people's lives, far more destruction, sanctioned. | ||
| And not only that, you can hire a lobbyist. | ||
| Yeah, somebody to lobby for you. | ||
| Hey, the world needs to use opioids. | ||
| Yeah, more, more, everywhere. | ||
| I heard they're not even addictive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We gotta study! | |
| A street pharmaceutical rep. | ||
| Meanwhile, somebody's scratching at your nook. | ||
| You have more fentanyl. | ||
| It's not addictive. | ||
| Get him out of here. | ||
| It's not addictive. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's a weird thing. | ||
| Last year, they had the highest number of deaths ever from overdoses. | ||
| It's the number one cause of death between people age 18 to 49. Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Over 100,000 people. | ||
| I'm still thinking diabetes, but... | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Diabetes is probably like number three. | ||
| I think heart attack is number two. | ||
| What is the cause of death 18 to 49? | ||
| I believe number one is opiates. | ||
| And it's all... | ||
| A lot of it is fentanyl that's getting mixed into street drugs. | ||
| Like people who buy ecstasy, they think it's just ecstasy. | ||
| It's got fentanyl. | ||
| Buy coke, it's got fentanyl in it. | ||
| It's those people. | ||
| Like the shit that happened in those comics in LA. That was coke with fentanyl. | ||
| Me? | ||
| I look back and I noticed that I wasn't that type of person. | ||
| All throughout my years of destruction, I wasn't that type of... | ||
| Like, this special is from 10 to 15. The next one will be from 16 to 19. But in that, I wasn't... | ||
| Because I didn't... | ||
| Especially when people watch it, they'll know that I'm not this hardcore criminal or I came from some bad family where you had to sell drugs and make it like my mom had a job and I'm just out being influenced by the people that's outside. | ||
| I never understood a couple things in that life. | ||
| I never understood, as I got older, I never understood why there was no honor amongst these. | ||
| Why were you making these transactions so dangerous and so hard? | ||
| And then I never understood people doing things to their customers just to stretch it or adding drugs to the drug that you're selling. | ||
| I never understood that desire I still don't understand. | ||
| Why would you mix something with something else? | ||
| You have to sell? | ||
| Goddamn, what's the deal? | ||
| I just don't understand the concept. | ||
| They just want to get the most amount of money. | ||
| Some people, they get caught up in numbers. | ||
| They get caught up in what they can do and they don't have a moral or ethical structure. | ||
| So I'm selling you apples because you're a consumer. | ||
| You're one of my customers that you buy my apples. | ||
| Why would I put something in the apples that's going to kill off the people who buy my apples? | ||
| Well, there's two things going on. | ||
| One, there's cartels. | ||
| And the cartels don't give a fuck. | ||
| The amount of people that are going to buy their cocaine is endless. | ||
| It's the only way to get it. | ||
| It's coming in over the border. | ||
| They're constantly bringing it in. | ||
| And if they can cut it and make more money, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| And if they sell it to you, you think you're going to buy what you bought last month, but you're buying a totally different thing now because they decided to try a new formulation with fentanyl. | ||
| And maybe you do one bump, you're okay. | ||
| Maybe you do two bumps, you're dead. | ||
| That's the fentanyl deal. | ||
| Like fentanyl. | ||
| You've ever seen the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you? | ||
| Like in comparison to a penny? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Pull out the image. | ||
| When you see it next to a penny, you just go, what the fuck? | ||
| It's like lead in the water. | ||
| It's the tiniest amount. | ||
| It's the tiniest amount of fentanyl that will kill you. | ||
| It's like a hundred times stronger than heroin. | ||
| It's like being okay with a little water, a little lead in the water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit! | |
| I still feel like it can't be right because it's given to people as a... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they're giving them less than that? | ||
| They're giving them less than that, yeah. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| No, I know it seems like it can't be right, but the folks that are just listening at home, we're looking at a penny from 2012, and the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you will cover up the number 2012, and that's about it. | ||
| It's a small... | ||
| It's Lincoln's beard. | ||
| Lincoln's beard is the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you on a penny. | ||
| Which is crazy. | ||
| And that's real. | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| Look at it next to heroin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is this other shit? | ||
| Carfentanil? | ||
| Oh, there's one that's worse? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| So 1.2 milligrams of fentanyl will kill you. | ||
| And then 0.2 of carfentanil. | ||
| You know, value per milligram is $250 and you have 0.2 milligrams. | ||
| I'm quite sure my uncle took more heroin than that. | ||
| Well, I think you could develop a tolerance. | ||
| You know, Mitch Edberg had a crazy tolerance, apparently. | ||
| Hedberg, they tried to get him to clean up. | ||
| And he's like, nope. | ||
| Nope, I like heroin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Died on a sword. | ||
| I think that comics... | ||
| Should be the most healthiest people. | ||
| Like, they should value their health a lot. | ||
| Like, we on the road, we in different environments all the time, you traveling, you in different hotels. | ||
| Like, your health should be a priority to you. | ||
| And I know some of us, we just fall, and you eating terrible food, if you, you know, you in a lot of these clubs, you eating at the club, you eating everything. | ||
| Chicken fingers and bullshit, yeah. | ||
| But you have to have energy to perform. | ||
| If you really want to be at your best, you want to be vibrant. | ||
| You want to have energy. | ||
| You know? | ||
| If you're drinking every night and... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you're doing coke. | ||
| If you look at the guys who petered out, like Kennison petered out worse than anybody, but he was just partying every night. | ||
| It was all coke and alcohol. | ||
| If you go and watch Kennison from like 86 and then watch Kennison in 1990, it's like he's a shadow of himself. | ||
| Four years later. | ||
| Shadow of himself. | ||
| Almost like a parody. | ||
| Almost like someone was trying to do a Kennison impression at one of those impersonator shows. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, someone does a... | ||
| Yeah, Texas guy. | ||
| Yeah, Houston. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| We were talking about it last night in the green room. | ||
| There's a video out there. | ||
| See if you can find Kenison doing revival preaching. | ||
| I know there's a video out there of him in one of those tent revivals doing Jesus preaching. | ||
| It's wild, man. | ||
| He was so powerful. | ||
| He was a dope comic. | ||
| Him and... | ||
| Thea Vidal used to tell me stories about being with him at the time, being around him at the time, because they were all coming up together. | ||
| And sometimes people forget about Thea. | ||
| Thea was a fucking legend. | ||
| She was a beast. | ||
| Fucking legend. | ||
| There it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is a 36 minute recording of it without video. | |
| The Last Sermon in 1982. Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You care about me? | |
| I know they care about me. | ||
| Yeah, give me a bump. | ||
| Oh my god, the sound is terrible. | ||
| Oh, he's singing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've been married twice. | |
| And I've had my heart broke. | ||
| I've had people disappoint me. | ||
| I know it's like to have your own home, drive new cars off the lot, and have to sleep in a bar with no place to go. | ||
| If I know one thing, I've never had God turn His back on me. | ||
| Every time I was alone. | ||
| Over time I was convinced that it couldn't cover. | ||
| No one would know peace or love again. | ||
| God was right there. | ||
| I'm telling you something tonight. | ||
| You can't get away from God. | ||
| You may think you're in a place where you go, well, my life's real secure. | ||
| My life can't be changed. | ||
| I've got everything I want. | ||
| But I'm finding out something about age and about time. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You're going to be here a long time. | ||
| Your needs change. | ||
| Your personality changes. | ||
| Different aspects of your life change. | ||
| If there's one thing that doesn't change, that's your need for God. | ||
| Scoot it up, scoot it up towards the end. | ||
| Let me hear it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm praying to myself. | |
| You don't do something like one time my hands. | ||
| By the end of this year, I just don't know if I can do this anymore. | ||
| It's too demanding. | ||
| It's too draining. | ||
| People are getting the entirely wrong image of what kind of person I am. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| And now I repent for it. | ||
| Today, that kind of life out there. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| But I tell you this, I know what I've been commissioned to do. | ||
| I know what God called me to do. | ||
| do I know my purpose is. | ||
| I need your purpose. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| If I ever cross your heart, it's because God's laid me on it. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| And if I cross your mind, if I happen to just, you're driving sometime and I happen to cross your heart or your mind because I'm out there praying for the body of Christ to pray for me because I need you. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| I'm telling you something, this world's about to be shook up. | ||
| And I'm just glad I have a part in it. | ||
| I'm glad you have a part in it. | ||
| Because I wouldn't have made it without the prayers of this church, without the support of this church. | ||
| I couldn't have took it. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| I couldn't have lasted. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| I have one spiritual friend out there. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Out of all the people I know, out of all the people I deal with and talk to. | ||
| I know one spiritual friend. | ||
| You say, well, why don't you go to different churches out there? | ||
| I've tried and they're nothing but the law. | ||
| I don't need to know about being saved. | ||
| I've been saved. | ||
| I don't need to know about being filled with the Holy Ghost. | ||
| Honey, I've walked in it for the last 12 years. | ||
| It takes a lot to feed me. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| The law doesn't cut it. | ||
| Your little list of rules doesn't cut it. | ||
| Because you can't... | ||
| This is why the world won't accept it. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| The priesthood is going to have to come to humanity. | ||
| Humanity's not going to come to the priesthood. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| This is why Jesus left the temple, Brother Marty. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| Praise God. | ||
| They tried to accuse Him of all kinds of things. | ||
| They said, He's a blasphemer. | ||
| He's a wine-bibber. | ||
| He's irreverent. | ||
| He's not a truth-teller. | ||
| He's a liar. | ||
| He's Beelzebub. | ||
| He's this. | ||
| He's that. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| And Jesus said, listen, amen, the well don't need a physician. | ||
| I didn't come for you. | ||
| I came for the lost. | ||
| I came for the lives without hope. | ||
| People without an answer. | ||
| People living on the edge of their existence. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| Now I'm telling you, people would do their job spiritually. | ||
| If they'd walk in this spiritually, you wouldn't have the drug in this country. | ||
| Amen? | ||
| You wouldn't have the alcoholism in the youth that you have in this country. | ||
| Amen? | ||
| But it ain't going to be done by rules. | ||
| It's going to be done by reality. | ||
| It ain't going to be done by a little program for them. | ||
| It's going to be done by something they feel in their self. | ||
| They're not going to take your word for it. | ||
| They're going to have to feel it, Brother Marnie. | ||
| It's going to have to shake them. | ||
| And Kevin, I respect you because you didn't listen You just didn't accept it because they told you it was real. | ||
| You had to wait until you felt it. | ||
| You had to wait until it shook you up. | ||
| But brother, it did! | ||
| And you are changed! | ||
| And you are His! | ||
| And you can't run from Him! | ||
| Amen! | ||
| You ran into Him! | ||
| Whoo! | ||
| Glory to God! | ||
| I was with Him! | ||
| I saw it happen. | ||
| Four years later, he was doing an HBO special. | ||
| Talking about getting his dick sucked and dead dudes getting fucked in the ass by gay guys. | ||
| Four years later. | ||
| I mean, four years later, he was the biggest comic on earth. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
that's four years later. - Besides you that has any good to it, that can shine a light into somebody's lost way. | |
| Do you think if you had to, if your soul was riding on the line and you had to testify and you had to make a commitment, if it was a final answer, what would you do? | ||
| Well, Look at that. | ||
| He gave him a little taste. | ||
| That's an impression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not really... | |
| You know, he's just doing himself. | ||
| Yeah, he's doing... | ||
| Well, he's just saying... | ||
| Well, that was... | ||
| Someone asked him, could you do... | ||
| Could you preach again? | ||
| Do you have the Lord still in you? | ||
| I mean, imagine if you were in that tent watching that guy perform like that. | ||
| Like, God damn. | ||
| What a charismatic motherfucker. | ||
| And then four years later, you're strumming through HBO. You're like, hey! | ||
| What the fuck... | ||
| The fuck just happened? | ||
| I mean, he must have been doing some comedy back then. | ||
| Because if this was 82, and that was his last sermon, he must have been doing sermons and comedy at the same time. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's preaching there in 1975. So really developed his act preaching. | ||
| What's the show that comes on? | ||
| It's about the preachers. | ||
| You remind me. | ||
| Which show? | ||
| I think it's on HBO. It's about preachers. | ||
| God damn it, the name of it fails me. | ||
| What's the guy from Roseanne that was the lead on Roseanne? | ||
| John Gooden. | ||
| John Gooden is in this. | ||
| He's the head pastor of this church. | ||
| John Goodman and what is... | ||
| Okay, I know what you're talking about. | ||
| This is the shadiest shit of all time. | ||
| I think it's HBO. Righteous Gemstones. | ||
| Righteous Gemstones. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| It... | ||
| Gemstone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't mean to do that. | |
| Righteous Gemstone. | ||
| It's important. | ||
| Man... | ||
| Oh, from the creators of Eastbound and Down. | ||
| Is this a new show? | ||
| Oh, it's... | ||
| These motherfuckers are crazy. | ||
| Danny McBride. | ||
| Danny McBride. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| She's fucking insane. | ||
| Oh, look at this. | ||
| They are insane. | ||
| Oh, this looks good. | ||
| Oh, my. | ||
| You can't stop watching this wild ass shit. | ||
| They are fucking... | ||
| It's on HBO. There's a thing about those kind of high-rolling preachers. | ||
| Like, what's that fucking dude's name? | ||
| The dude down in Houston? | ||
| Joel... | ||
| Joel Osteen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Joel Osteen is fucking high off the heart. | ||
| Him and... | ||
| What's my guy? | ||
| Those guys make so much money. | ||
| What's the black guy? | ||
| Um, Potter's House, um, out of Dallas. | ||
| The guy with the hot dogs in the back of his neck? | ||
| The big guy? | ||
| Damn, I ain't never seen the back of his neck. | ||
| It looks like he's got a stack of hot dogs in the back of his neck. | ||
| You know, that hot dog fat? | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Is this the guy that had that guy coming off the ceiling, like on the ropes? | ||
| Potter's House. | ||
| There's a lot of those guys. | ||
| Who is the reverend of a Potter's House? | ||
| That's the dude. | ||
| He's famous. | ||
| Yes, that's the guy. | ||
| I don't know why his goddamn name isn't. | ||
| Not Joel Osteen. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Shit! | ||
| I'm looking at him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
T.D. Jakes. | |
| T.D. Jakes, yes. | ||
| T.D. Jakes. | ||
| That guy could have been a comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All those guys. | ||
| The charisma, the way they deliver lines. | ||
| D.D. Jakes is fucking... | ||
| I haven't told this story, but it's a guy in Houston. | ||
| I was at a wake for my friend Andre. | ||
| Reverend Dixon Jr. Oh, he told this story. | ||
| This shit was so hysterical. | ||
| I'm trying to find a way to put it in my show. | ||
| Because there's a point to it. | ||
| About knowing what you have. | ||
| He said he up there, he preaching and he said he bought a horse. | ||
| He said, I'm a country boy. | ||
| I bought a horse from a man and I rode the horse for the first time in a parade. | ||
| I'm in a parade and I get by the band and The band starts playing, and the horse starts dancing, moving. | ||
| I'm like, I can't control him. | ||
| I'm trying to get this horse under control, and I can't control him. | ||
| And I'm sitting there listening to this story, like, where the fuck is he going with this shit? | ||
| And he said, then the band was stopping, and then the band started playing again. | ||
| The horse, I can't control him, he's dancing. | ||
| I called him, I get through the parade, and I called the man. | ||
| I said, hey, man, this horse ain't been broke. | ||
| He can't obey. | ||
| He said, what you doing with the horse? | ||
| He said, I rode him in a parade. | ||
| He said, okay, what happened? | ||
| He said, the band start playing, the horse start moving, I couldn't control him. | ||
| He said, oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, because he used to be a show horse. | ||
| He used to dance to bands. | ||
| His whole point was, I didn't know what I had. | ||
| He thought that the horse was bad, but he was a show horse. | ||
| And when the band started playing, he started going into the routine. | ||
| Everybody else is trying to get a message. | ||
| I'm in there dying. | ||
| I'm like, yo, this shit is hysterical. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, who bothers a horse that don't know the fuck the horse? | |
| Then it's a show horse trained to dance. | ||
| I was like, Reverend Dixon, that shit is hysterical to me. | ||
| And I'm like, yo, I got to find a way to put that in my act about not having. | ||
| Oh, who is this floating? | ||
| That's what I thought you were talking about. | ||
| Who is this guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, this is a Mississippi. | |
| He's known as the Floating Preacher. | ||
| I think he gets stuck like halfway down. | ||
| He got the Beyonce. | ||
| He got the Beyonce shit. | ||
| The Janet Jackson Method Man and Red Man. | ||
| He gets stuck sort of just floating here for a couple seconds. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do we do? | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| There's something that they have. | ||
| A showmanship. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's an entertainment value to the way they present that you could learn something from. | ||
| Because, like, that's one of the things that always bothered me about the alt-comedy scene. | ||
| The alt-comedy scene, specifically in L.A. They didn't want to try hard, and they didn't like it when people tried hard. | ||
| They would get upset. | ||
| Like, if someone came on the show, like, how's everybody doing? | ||
| They're like, oh... | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| He's trying. | ||
| He's trying hard. | ||
| It's like a lack of entertainment value. | ||
| They wanted, it's almost like they wanted the bar super low. | ||
| And they could just go up and go, so I'm at Starbucks the other day. | ||
| And so the barista, you know, there's a barista at Starbucks. | ||
| It's a, you know, fancy word for guy who pours your coffee. | ||
| There's this alt style of comedy that's very low energy, very reference-oriented. | ||
| They say a lot of obscure references to be clever. | ||
| And if you're a powerful comic, like if you're a guy who's got a Bobby Lee type dude who runs up there and has all this energy, they don't want you there. | ||
| They don't want you there. | ||
| You're fucking up the show by being too funny. | ||
| It's a weird dynamic. | ||
| Terrible dynamic. | ||
| With comedy. | ||
| Me going into the alt scene, because I go in there, and they think that I'm like them, because I'm slow and methodical, and it's like, I don't think he's like us. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| It's a weird dynamic and then it's the same dynamic, which is crazy to me, it's the same dynamics as me going into a hood room. | ||
| They want certain things. | ||
| And I'm not giving them that. | ||
| I'm walking up, I'm sitting down, and you'll hear people say, you all right? | ||
| Like, yeah, I'm all right, I'm just sitting down. | ||
| There's something wrong with me sitting down? | ||
| And they mind, like, why would you be sitting down? | ||
| It's stand-up comedy. | ||
| Then I go into what I do, and I have to win you over because I think that it's a thing with stand-up. | ||
| That the audience, a person goes and see, they're not adventurous in their entertainment value when it comes to that. | ||
| Like, if you like a Bruce Bruce or Earthquake, why don't you think you would like a R.S. Shafia and a Joe Rogan? | ||
| Like, what would make you think you wouldn't like them? | ||
| Oh, they not my style to stand up. | ||
| So, you come to an Ali Sadiq show, With a preconceived notion of what you feel like comedy is. | ||
| And if I'm not doing that, then you sitting there like, what is he doing? | ||
| I'm being the human being that I am. | ||
| And I'm going to deliver if you don't come to my show looking for me to be another comic. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the thing that's got comedy has genres, but it doesn't. | ||
| It's like, if you go to see live music, you never see Wu-Tang Clan followed by Alan Jackson. | ||
| It's a style of music. | ||
| If you go to a rock concert, you expect rock. | ||
| You don't expect folk music. | ||
| But if you go to see a comedy show, you can see... | ||
| It could be Aerosmith, it could be Run DMC, it could be Whitney Houston. | ||
| The styles are so different, but it's all under the guise of comedy. | ||
| And you kind of have to adjust for each individual's perspective. | ||
| And some people, they want to hear that Kinnison shit. | ||
| They don't want to hear anything slow. | ||
| They want to hear rapid fire. | ||
| They have an idea in their head. | ||
| A myopic idea of what comedy is. | ||
| And I don't see it like that. | ||
| I see it as I'm going, like, I would, it's people that I've seen, like I watched Ari last night. | ||
| And I died several deaths. | ||
| Watching Ari, like, yo, this shit is fucking hysterical. | ||
| Well, he's doing that new Jew special, that special that he worked on for a long time. | ||
| It's tight. | ||
| This shit is hysterical! | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| It's very well written, too. | ||
| I'm talking about even the small nuggets that he said... | ||
| Let me tell you the funniest shit. | ||
| Like, I had to stop watching because it was so fucking funny. | ||
| I couldn't laugh. | ||
| I couldn't laugh another second. | ||
| And I still went in the back and laughed more from behind, watching it from behind the stage without the audience just listening to it. | ||
| He said if it was a time, because it's so relatable, it was a time that you didn't think that you could talk to girls. | ||
| And he said some shit in there that's so fucking hysterical. | ||
| The thing about holding a girl's hand? | ||
| And he goes, he said, if I could talk to my 14-year-old self, I would go back in the future and look, I don't have much time. | ||
| I gotta tell you. | ||
| And then he's talking and then he said, your 14-year-old self looking at your new self and he says, He looked at it and he's like, yo, look, some shit fails. | ||
| Like, of his hair. | ||
| He go like, look, don't fuck. | ||
| Fuck my hair. | ||
| Fuck what's gonna happen to you. | ||
| And then he says, you're an asshole. | ||
| That's why people don't like you in the future. | ||
| Because you're an asshole. | ||
| If I go back and look at my 14-year-old self, my 14-year-old self, looking at what he's going to become, I'm like, look, man, fuck you, man. | ||
| You ain't bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a great set. | ||
| It's a great set. | ||
| And my role manager, Dre, Dre's always with me, and Dre has probably learned so much about comedy, just being in the room and seeing the different dynamics. | ||
| And last night, He was in the room and he was like, he never knew that white comics talk so much shit just like black comics. | ||
| He was like, y'all all the fucking same. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All of y'all talk shit. | |
| Y'all talk so much shit about that lady bombing. | ||
| He was like, yo, this is the same shit y'all would be saying. | ||
| Yo, man, he just fucking sucks. | ||
| Like, yo, that lady would have got so... | ||
| It's comics that hate me to this day. | ||
| Because I told them that that shit was trash. | ||
| Like, very early. | ||
| I'm like, yo, man, you need to work on that shit. | ||
| That shit is garbage, son. | ||
| And now, I don't do that. | ||
| Like, I won't tell you anything. | ||
| If you think that you're good, like... | ||
| That lady... | ||
| The disservice... | ||
| By this sensitive culture that you don't get what you actually need to be a beast in this game. | ||
| Like, your fucking skin has to be toughened up. | ||
| And this is what I say about the new generation of the social media comedian. | ||
| When you started... | ||
| You weren't going to what they... | ||
| Let's go to politics, how it res is politics. | ||
| So Trump only did interviews on Fox. | ||
| Kellyanne Conway, she only does interviews on Fox. | ||
| And I know this because I listen to Fox. | ||
| And I'm listening because I want to hear these interviews of people who never come on Other media outlets to answer any type of fucking question and they call them softball questions. | ||
| They give them fucking softballs. | ||
| So as a comic, if you always get softball, like you bringing your audience to the club, like these are people and they love you and they come in just for you. | ||
| But you don't have a lineage of how you started. | ||
| Like you don't have a I used to be in the comedy store. | ||
| I used to be at the cellar. | ||
| I used to be just joking. | ||
| I used to be at the improv and I'm fucking getting this shit together. | ||
| And one time Joe came in like, yo, the joke is hilarious, but you need this. | ||
| You don't have this fucking lineage of shit. | ||
| That helps you develop. | ||
| So you just getting all softballs. | ||
| So then when you go into an audience, now you're on what I call one of these conglomerate shows with all different types of comics on the show and you don't have a lineage and you have to follow somebody. | ||
| You have to go up behind somebody. | ||
| And you see the difference, like, oh, you never had to go up after a monster and still get your shit off. | ||
| You never had to do these things, so it handicaps you in this business. | ||
| Because, yo, I'm on this show, you're popular, and he's popular, but you gotta go up behind Rogan. | ||
| And Rogan has taken the room on a fucking journey, and now you coming up with the Hey! | ||
| They like, the fuck out of here. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Then somebody else comes behind you and destroys the room again. | ||
| And you like, oh, it was the crowd. | ||
| Like, nah. | ||
| It was you. | ||
| It's the skill set. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the fucking skill set. | ||
| It's managing the moment, too. | ||
| Some things that you can do maybe after you got them, maybe if you get them going for 20 minutes, then you could do a slow pitch shit. | ||
| You can do something where they trust you. | ||
| And then you could take them to a different place. | ||
| But if you're going on after Joey Diaz... | ||
| Joey Diaz is murdering. | ||
| That's one of the reasons why I started taking Joey on the road with me, because I bombed after him once. | ||
| I took him on the road with me to New Jersey, and he destroyed, and I did not. | ||
| I had a rough set. | ||
| It wasn't bad. | ||
| It wasn't like the worst bombing, but it definitely wasn't good. | ||
| It was like, there was Joey, he was way stronger than me, and then there was me. | ||
| I was like, damn, I gotta bring this dude with me everywhere. | ||
| I need that heat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It helped. | ||
| It helped him and it helped me. | ||
| It helped me because he would crush so hard that you had to be able to ride that wave. | ||
| You couldn't be nervous about it. | ||
| That's like half of it is enjoying the person who's on before you. | ||
| Laughing. | ||
| So you go on stage, you're already laughing. | ||
| You're having fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you know Jeff Sewell? | ||
| No. | ||
| He used to be a booker for the Houston Improvs. | ||
| Like Dallas and Addison, you know, all of them. | ||
| I used to think he hated me. | ||
| Because he would always talk to me about how great other comics was. | ||
| He would never fucking say anything to me about me. | ||
| It taught me that your perception of yourself is definitely important. | ||
| Because Jeff, I would run into other people And Jeff would be like, they would tell me like, Jeff Sewell fucking loves you. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| He never says anything good about me. | ||
| Like, to who? | ||
| Like, he fucking raves about you. | ||
| When you're not there. | ||
| Like, you're like the one for him. | ||
| But he would always tell me about how great other comics were. | ||
| So Bill Burr wants somebody to open for him. | ||
| He's getting ready to do his special. | ||
| And he asked Jeff Sewell, he's like, yo, I need somebody because I'm doing the Paramount in Austin. | ||
| I need somebody who's going to come in that room and fucking destroy this room. | ||
| And did I want to come out on a high? | ||
| Who do you think? | ||
| So I get a call to open for Bill Burr. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, cool. | ||
| Bill Burr, he comes in my green room, he's like, yo, I know you're gonna be fucking great. | ||
| Jeff said, if you want a killer in front of you, this is one. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| Yeah, Jeff fucking says that you like the man. | ||
| So whatever the pair of my hoses sold out, I walk out there, and it's literally two black people in the whole entire place. | ||
| It's me and an usher. | ||
| And I had on all black, and I'll never forget when I walked out, I said, "Hey, let me tell y'all something before I even start." This is the worst fucking place to wear all black. | ||
| And I want y'all to know, I do not work here. | ||
| I don't know where the fucking restrooms are. | ||
| I don't know anything, because people were stopping me like, hey, you know where the restroom is? | ||
| People ask me like I've done before. | ||
| And then I noticed that I had on all black. | ||
| I'm like, this is bullshit. | ||
| And I fucking destroyed. | ||
| And Bill came and said, yo, any fucking thing you need from me. | ||
| Like, you need me to help you in any way. | ||
| I will refer you. | ||
| I will do any fucking thing. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| And I was like, Jeff. | ||
| I was like, thank Jeff. | ||
| Like, I really thought that he was like, yo, you shit. | ||
| But Jeff, Jeff was like, yo, you fucking. | ||
| But he... | ||
| He just couldn't give it to me because he felt like... | ||
| I've been in this room since 2011. It used to be Spellbinders before it was the improv. | ||
| They had a fucking rainforest. | ||
| And I used to go there and he just never paid fucking attention to me. | ||
| And when he told me he got sick, he was like, I always thought you were fucking great. | ||
| Like, always. | ||
| Like, what I can tell you. | ||
| Like, I didn't want you to fucking stop trying to get it. | ||
| Like, if somebody tells you that you're great up front, and you never, you never strive to be better, Even with myself, I do an album or I do a special and I want the next one to be better than the last one. | ||
| I don't see it any other way. | ||
| Why would you start declining or why would you go there? | ||
| It's different facets of your growth in stand-up. | ||
| I think you can always be original in this business if you're being honest about who you are and the growth. | ||
| You're not supposed to be doing the same thing I've been doing it, what, almost 24 years. | ||
| I'm not supposed to be the same as I was in the first 10 years. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| Because the first 10 years, I used to do this joke about this story actually about getting body slammed in a fight. | ||
| I wasn't ready. | ||
| This dude, like, we fighting and we get close and he fucking picks me up and body slams me. | ||
| And I'm like, yo, after you get body slammed in a fight, you fucking lost. | ||
| I don't give a damn what happened after that. | ||
| You fucking lost. | ||
| It's like your shoe coming off in a fight. | ||
| You fucking lost. | ||
| And I would do this flip. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I would land on my back and I'd be on the ground. | ||
| And I know the older I get, I'm not going to continue to be able to do this shit. | ||
| This is not a long-standing joke. | ||
| Fuck this story, because I have to do the flip in order to sell it. | ||
| Nah, I'm not. | ||
| So I'm supposed to develop into something a little better than what I was in the beginning, the first 10, the first 15. If you don't have a lineage, how do you do that? | ||
| Like, how do you learn to get better? | ||
| How do you have a desire? | ||
| I'm like Seabiscuit. | ||
| I see you running and I want to run faster to catch you. | ||
| But if I don't have that desire in me, I'm cool with being number seven and thinking and having this illusion that I'm great, but I'm only playing in front of these softball audiences for me. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta have a lot of people around you that are good too. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| It's very rare that you go to a town and there's no one good except one guy. | ||
| It's very rare. | ||
| Very rare. | ||
| Very rare there's like one standout world-class comedian that's just in a town by himself existing in a vacuum. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're never. | ||
| It's a lot of great comics out of Houston. | ||
| Like, I've been around a lot of great, like when people say, what's your influences? | ||
| I start with Houston guys. | ||
| The history is huge. | ||
| And I know DC has the Mecca and New York feel like they have something and LA feel like that. | ||
| And I would argue the point about Texas comics. | ||
| I would argue, like, man, we stronger than you think. | ||
| And we play, we Midwest. | ||
| Midwest comics, I think, talk from a different perspective because they don't have this... | ||
| This grandioso idea that they, I'm LA and I'm New York or I'm Atlanta. | ||
| I'm like nah, we the Midwest and we got a lot of shit to talk about. | ||
| And I just think, it's not a better thing. | ||
| What's more accepted? | ||
| And I think the audiences in the Midwest are regular people. | ||
| And when you want to do stand-up, you're talking to regular people. | ||
| That's not got this... | ||
| I remember performing in LA and it felt like the audience was waiting on somebody else. | ||
| They waiting on someone famous. | ||
| They waiting on something. | ||
| They holding laughs like, I'm not gonna give it all to you. | ||
| I'm like, man, that guy's hysterical. | ||
| Give it up to him. | ||
| LA's a pretentious place, and a lot of the people that are in that audience either want to be in the business, wish they were actors, wish they were famous, or they're peripheral to it. | ||
| They're agents or managers. | ||
| They're jaded and weird, and they're all social climbers. | ||
| So it's like there's a weirdness to it. | ||
| Like when someone famous goes on stage like, Oh, yes. | ||
| Someone who is of the caliber of fame that I... But there could be someone before them that's funnier, and they don't even care. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| They're not just trying to have fun. | ||
| There's a pretentiousness to it that's more... | ||
| New York's got a hardness to it that I kind of like. | ||
| LA's got a pretentiousness to it. | ||
| But when you're in a place like Houston, all the pretentiousness is out the window. | ||
| It's just, are you good? | ||
| Are you good? | ||
| Willie D and I talked about that with the hip-hop scene in Houston. | ||
| It was the same thing when the Ghetto Boys were exploding. | ||
| When the Ghetto Boys were hot, there was a whole different style of rap coming out of this one section of the country, and you had to respect it. | ||
| Brad Jordan, Scarface, changed the cadence of people. | ||
| And Willie D and Bushwick Bill. | ||
| But then you had this whole entourage of other rappers that came behind Zero and Slim Thug and Lil' Kiki and Big Pokey and UGK. And that's phenomenal that Our first versus is about to be Bun B with UGK versus A-Ball and MJG. That's the first South versus. | ||
| Everything else has been in LA and New York. | ||
| This is a R&B. This is a South thing, and I know they're going to turn up. | ||
| Because Bun is like a... | ||
| He's becoming like the mayor of the city. | ||
| Then you have all these like Beat King and... | ||
| Megan. | ||
| Look at Megan Thee Stallion. | ||
| Look at Travis Scott. | ||
| These are people that's from Houston that this whole... | ||
| Toby. | ||
| It's this whole revolution of rappers that spawned from the initial style of the Ghetto Boys. | ||
| All that rap-a-lot records. | ||
| Yeah, rap man. | ||
| J. Prince. | ||
| Then you had people that came down like Tony Draper with Suave House. | ||
| You had all these other guys that start... | ||
| The South... | ||
| I remember the Source magazine. | ||
| If he could pull that up. | ||
| The Source magazine where they had all of the Houston rappers on the Source. | ||
| And I remember walking through New York. | ||
| I bought it in New York. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, you see? | ||
| Fucking the South is on the fucking cover of the Source magazine. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Don't mess with Texas. | ||
| Look at Chameleon Air, Pimp C, Slim Thug, Bun B, Zero, J Prince, Lil Flip, OG Ron C, Michael 5000 Watts, my man right there, Mike Jones, and Scarface on the end. | ||
| I was in Mike Jones' video. | ||
| Back then, you didn't want me. | ||
| Now I'm hot. | ||
| You're all on me. | ||
| Like, that was a big... | ||
| And that shit said, don't mess with Texas. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Houston region won't be... | ||
| Man, this shit was like phenomenal! | ||
| You need that with rap and you need that with comedy. | ||
| You need a scene. | ||
| If we... | ||
| If Houston did that with comics, it would be... | ||
| Oh yeah, and that's the overall, look at the overall picture with Lil O and Chingo Bling. | ||
| You know Chingo Bling do comedy now. | ||
| Chingo Bling, yeah, Chingo Bling is a comic. | ||
| Man, that's the ESG. Big Hawk, Pokemon, it's a team, like DM, it's a song by this guy named DMD. It's a great photo, too. | ||
| It's the fucking squad. | ||
| That's on J. Prince's ranch. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's like the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look at that shit, man. | ||
| That's Texas. | ||
| And I was proud. | ||
| Man, look at Lil' Kiki. | ||
| Look at Hard-Body Chiodi, Pokey, Hulk. | ||
| Man, this shit was phenomenal. | ||
| Man, I remember getting chills when I saw this shit. | ||
| I was like, yo, man, Texas is on the fucking map, right? | ||
| And when you talk about comedy, it's like, if we did that with comedy, with Bill Hicks and Sam Kenison, Thea Vidal, Brumman, Billy Dee Washington, Ruchon McDonald, fucking David Raybon, myself, Marcus D. Wilding, Terry Gross, Keira Space, Dez White, Dave Lawson. | ||
| It's so many comics that's been influential. | ||
| And then we still have Shane Wayne. | ||
| We have the whites. | ||
| Man, we fucking... | ||
| Bob Biggestaff. | ||
| It's like some phenomenal comics, man. | ||
| We like, yo, man. | ||
| Our R&B scene. | ||
| Man, you watch The Winning Game? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's with... | ||
| It's about the rise of the Lakers with Dr. Jerry Buss. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I read the credits, too. | ||
| And it's an R&B artist, a jazz artist by the name of Robert Glasper. | ||
| And I'm reading the credits. | ||
| And I paused it when I saw musical director Robert Glasper. | ||
| And it's just fucking a... | ||
| It's like fucking Houston. | ||
| It's all over the place. | ||
| You see yourself living anywhere else ever? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Just Houston? | ||
| It's in the blood. | ||
| It's H-Town. | ||
| So when you decided to film your special, you wanted to do it in Houston? | ||
| I wanted to do it. | ||
| I actually... | ||
| I did it intimate. | ||
| But I'm still searching for the love from my city. | ||
| Because I think that I represent so well. | ||
| And I think that the people who spawn off of me represent well. | ||
| Kevin Iso and Bryson Brown and all these people. | ||
| Kevin Iso has a show on Showtime, Flatbush Misdemeanor. | ||
| He's a writer. | ||
| And he wrote in his second season. | ||
| It's a fucking great show. | ||
| I think that my representation of what spawns off of me and what I've done when I go out on the show. | ||
| I never try to misrepresent my city when I'm performing on TV or anything. | ||
| Because I want them to be proud. | ||
| As proud as I am, when I see somebody from Houston, I want them to be that. | ||
| When I found out Thea Vidal I was from Houston. | ||
| She's been to all these great movies. | ||
| I was like, yo, she from Houston? | ||
| I lost my shit when I found out Booker T was from Houston. | ||
| Like a fucking wrestler. | ||
| I'm like, yo, anybody from my city that's doing something, whether it's political, whether it's art, whether it's educational, whatever you doing, I'm like, yo, it's fucking Houston. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I just see... | ||
| I just see... | ||
| I wanted to do it in the Toyota Center. | ||
| I'm one of them people that... | ||
| I don't want... | ||
| Dave Chappelle and Kevin Hart and all these other people that come to my city and play the Toyota Center or Gary Owens and Michael Blackson come to the improv and sell out 14, 15 shows and shit like that and then I don't do the same thing. | ||
| Like that shit is a driving force. | ||
| How you get so much love? | ||
| What did you do? | ||
| I'm not an actor. | ||
| I don't look at sitcoms and movies and desire that shit. | ||
| I'm on stand-up. | ||
| And I want to do it from the stand-up position. | ||
| Because a lot of these other greats were doing it from the stand-up. | ||
| Colin was in Car Wash. | ||
| With fucking one of the greatest comics of all time, which is Franklin Ajay. | ||
| He was the fly in the car wash. | ||
| And I don't think that the movie was what compelled him what people wanted. | ||
| I think it was his words. | ||
| It was his standard. | ||
| Because those were somebody else's words. | ||
| I want to do it... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at George Carlin. | ||
| This is one of my movies. | ||
| I know the whole soundtrack. | ||
| I love every song. | ||
| And I know every scene. | ||
| 76. Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I would love to be in a movie like Taxi. | ||
| With a bunch of other comics. | ||
| I think for you, it's just a matter of a special like this and maybe more specials like this. | ||
| You're undeniable. | ||
| When people see it, they'll get it. | ||
| Like this year, I want to be the first comic to ever win an Emmy for a comedy special that's not on the network. | ||
| Louis C.K. already did that. | ||
| He won an Emmy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Louis C.K. won an Emmy. | ||
| Or a Grammy. | ||
| He won a Grammy. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| He won a Grammy. | ||
| Can you even win an Emmy if you're not on a network? | ||
| Is it a television show award? | ||
| It's YouTube TV. Is it? | ||
| Do people on YouTube win Emmys? | ||
| Hopefully it can happen. | ||
| I think that I want to try to push the envelope to when people say, hey man, when they feel bad, they'll be like, yo, listen. | ||
| I know them other guys, it was on Netflix or HBO or something else, but it's gonna be a problem if we say this is the best special of 2022 and we give it to somebody. | ||
| Fuck those awards though, man. | ||
| The people will give you your own award just by seeing you. | ||
| Who is the deciding vote on the Grammys or the Emmys? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Who are those people? | ||
| Who are they? | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| The thing is to achieve some shit without them having to, like, I would, I remember DL told me when I was on Bring the Funny, and I was talking to him, he was like, you think he gonna win? | ||
| I was like, God, I hope, but I went in, I went in it, my agent Joe, Joe would tell anybody. | ||
| Because he talked me into doing it. | ||
| I said, cool, we'll do it. | ||
| I tried to lose every fucking round. | ||
| Because I was on tour. | ||
| I was like, yo, I'd rather just do the tour dates. | ||
| I don't need this shit. | ||
| And he's like, we're going to do it. | ||
| So every round, I was like, I kept my shit packed. | ||
| I was like, we're going to go do the round. | ||
| I'm shortening these stories down to two minutes and 30 seconds to get this shit off. | ||
| And I'm just, whatever job I'm doing, cool. | ||
| And I keep advancing. | ||
| And I would call Joe. | ||
| I'm like, I made it to the next round. | ||
| He's like, okay, good. | ||
| And I was like, fuck. | ||
| So I would make it to the next round. | ||
| And DL, by the third round, now I got the taste of blood in my mouth. | ||
| Like, I want to win this shit now. | ||
| And DL was like, I don't want you to win. | ||
| I said, what? | ||
| I don't want you to win. | ||
| I want you to be the person that people wanted to win and didn't. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| He said, more people are going to see you. | ||
| More people are going to come to the shows to see you. | ||
| They wanted you to win and you didn't. | ||
| And they wanted to come tell you. | ||
| Sometimes I doubt my mentors. | ||
| Like I doubt the experience. | ||
| I don't know fucking why. | ||
| And I'm like, so then I lose. | ||
| And anybody who watched the show would see my face. | ||
| Like I don't have a poker face at all. | ||
| Whatever the fuck is on my mind is on it. | ||
| So they panned the audio. | ||
| I'll never forget that the cameraman did just like this. | ||
| So they announced the winner and everybody's cheering and shit. | ||
| But this is my face. | ||
| Like, your face is right now. | ||
| They was panning like this, and that man got right to me and went the camera up. | ||
| And then did everybody else, because my face was like this. | ||
| I'm not clapping for that shit. | ||
| Like, I'm not. | ||
| And when I didn't win, I was like, okay, fuck it. | ||
| And then people started coming to the shows, telling me how they, you should have won. | ||
| And I was like, fuck it right again. | ||
| We decided to do this podcast again. | ||
| We did one just a few months ago, but we decided to do it again because on the last one, we were just talking about stuff and HBO didn't like what you said. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they pulled your special. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know... | ||
| You have opinions about things. | ||
| You're supposed to be allowed to have opinions about things, but when you have opinions about what they want to deem protected class, and that's like, I mean, we were talking about gay people, and your opinion was about gay people adopting children. | ||
| Yeah, I said my thoughts, and I didn't, the thing about a thought, I'm not saying I'm right. | ||
| I'm not saying I'm wrong. | ||
| I'm telling a thought. | ||
| Now it's on what I think to either be altered, corrected, more information, whatever the situation is, but that's not going to happen right off the top without me having a conversation about it. | ||
| And knowing that error is plays a large part in how people think the error that you grew up in and then your experiences. | ||
| My experience with things were that people who was in a certain lifestyle that I know didn't want certain things. | ||
| It wasn't a part of what they were doing. | ||
| So that's my experience. | ||
| Those are my thoughts. | ||
| Am I wrong? | ||
| Not in thinking a thought. | ||
| I'm not out doing the rallying for it. | ||
| I'm just saying what my thought was in a conversation. | ||
| I'm allowed to do that. | ||
| I'm not saying that you can't have anything. | ||
| I'm just saying my thoughts on something. | ||
| I didn't think that the Lakers should have got Westbrook. | ||
| I didn't think that it was a good fit. | ||
| Do the Laker Nation come after me? | ||
| Because I had a thought about, hey, I think that Magic Johnson is the greatest basketball player of all time. | ||
| I think Bill Russell is the greatest basketball mind of all time. | ||
| If you like Jordan, you like Jordan. | ||
| But I will have a discussion with you about the greatness of Magic Johnson. | ||
| But this was a discussion about whether or not gay people should be able to adopt children. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you felt like they're not making children. | ||
| That was never a thing when you were young that gay guys didn't want children. | ||
| And then all of a sudden they do. | ||
| And you felt like it didn't fit. | ||
| That was my thoughts. | ||
| I wasn't rallying for anything. | ||
| I didn't think it was hateful. | ||
| It's a complex subject, right? | ||
| Because what your point was is they're not making the children. | ||
| And what other people's points would be, but yeah, wouldn't you just want the kids to be in a loving family? | ||
| And if the gay family loves them and supports them and raises them, it's far better than being in foster care, far better than being abused. | ||
| I think that that's the extreme that people put on. | ||
| I saw a dude who was giving this commentary on the talk without taking in the whole context of it. | ||
| But then he was like... | ||
| He's been indoctrinated in this, and his thoughts are, he's been indoctrinated into something. | ||
| I'm like, nah, I'm just a human being, and certain things in my era work, but... | ||
| They're saying you were indoctrinated? | ||
| Yeah, to something like what? | ||
| Something wrong with gay people? | ||
| Like, I never thought that, nor did I ever say that. | ||
| Did you have a conversation with anybody about it? | ||
| Like, did anybody talk to you and say, hey, we'd like to know why you think what you think? | ||
| No, they threatened me with violence. | ||
| They threatened me with violence, like a lot of people threatened me with violence, and I was sending my address to those people like, yo, you bring that shit on if you want to. | ||
| In what way they're threatening you? | ||
| I'ma come knock your fucking teeth down your throat and make you change. | ||
| How you think that's gonna make me change anything? | ||
| And what am I gonna be doing while you're knocking my teeth down my throat? | ||
| Like, what am I gonna be doing? | ||
| You think this is a fucking movie? | ||
| That I'ma just be just taking it? | ||
| Like, yo, but this was my point. | ||
| Your first thing was to do was not to rationally have a discussion. | ||
| Your thing was to threaten me with violence. | ||
| Well, that's one person. | ||
| No person ever DM'd me and said, I would like to have a conversation with you about your thoughts. | ||
| Did anybody from HBO want to have a conversation with you? | ||
| Did you speak to anybody, or is it spoken to your agent? | ||
| Spoken to my agent, and I asked for a conversation. | ||
| And when we had the conversation, I started the conversation off by this. | ||
| Do you think that I am an honest man? | ||
| Ali, this is not about your honesty. | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| Do you think that I am an honest man? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now we can have the conversation. | ||
| Because if you don't think that I'm an honest man, there's no reason for me to go forward with this conversation. | ||
| Sitting across from me, do you think I'm a homophobe? | ||
| Sitting right across from me mean you having dinner? | ||
| No. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Um... | ||
| I happened to watch New Rules with Bill Maher's last Friday. | ||
| I was tired, came from the show, exhausted. | ||
| Turned on HBO. Obviously, I have no problem. | ||
| I've watched a lot of HBO shows. | ||
| I have no ill feelings about them, their decision or whatnot. | ||
| No trip. | ||
| Still gonna watch my same HBO shows. | ||
| And then I hear Bill Maher talking after New Rules. | ||
| And he goes in, like really lays out some shit. | ||
| And then Sam Jay's show comes on right after that. | ||
| And Sam Jay is a lesbian, black lesbian woman that's a comic. | ||
| She has a show on HBO, which I'm on. | ||
| And she goes in about how the LGBT community does not represent her as a black lesbian woman. | ||
| And she's talking to these people and she's giving a whole candid understanding about how the shit does not relate to her. | ||
| Same thought patterns. | ||
| Of understanding, like, yo, explain to me why, X, Y, Z. And I'm sitting there looking like, wow. | ||
| Some people are free to say whatever they choose to say. | ||
| And some people are not. | ||
| And when you feel like you can handicap a person... | ||
| And she says on this, she said, I think that it's a bunch of entitled fucking white people that's pulling the strings of what... | ||
| And the lady that she says it to agrees and said, I think it's a lot of people that lobby for power and they feel like they can take a stance on this, that, and the third without no conversation. | ||
| If you manufacturing the consent of anything... | ||
| You manufacturing consent. | ||
| Everybody agrees, but I'm a part of everybody, right or wrong? | ||
| I have a different thought. | ||
| Your first thing was, because he has a thought, And a person that may not know him, because the person who knows me, who wanted the special, understands to a certain degree, but it's not in their hand. | ||
| It's another person that has this. | ||
| And we talk about it. | ||
| But this is a thing that I'm not rallying for anything. | ||
| But I understand. | ||
| That's why I have no ill feelings about their decision. | ||
| That's your decision. | ||
| To not put me on your network because of expected backlash that did not come. | ||
| Because people, like, it's a thought. | ||
| So this is expected backlash from you doing the podcast and saying what you said, and then they were anticipating that there was going to be some attack on you. | ||
| Yeah, basically. | ||
| But it didn't really happen. | ||
| There's a few DMs. | ||
| A few DMs. | ||
| I got a few DMs, and people were like, what else is a goddamn heterosexual 48-year-old black male Muslim going to say? | ||
| What else is he going to say? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| But it's also like, what I would like to see is people have a conversation about it. | ||
| Adopting children is a complex conversation. | ||
| It's a complex conversation for everybody. | ||
| And it's not just the skill of what you want. | ||
| You also have to understand that you send... | ||
| If my son or my daughter wanted to do something that I know As a heterosexual parent, I'm concerned about the shit that I do that my kids have to explain. | ||
| They may not be equipped to explain it. | ||
| And you don't have a pamphlet of information that I can go to to explain anything. | ||
| Then right after that, I did this joke, which I still think is fucking funny because it happened. | ||
| And my four-year-old... | ||
| She, we in the elevator. | ||
| A man comes on there with a face full of makeup. | ||
| We got a full, what they call, beat face. | ||
| And my daughter's like, Daddy, why that man got on makeup? | ||
| I'm not thinking about this shit right now. | ||
| My mind's on something else. | ||
| I don't have time to explain this shit. | ||
| I said, he in a band. | ||
| That's all I said. | ||
| He's a band. | ||
| I don't know fucking band. | ||
| He ain't in the band. | ||
| So my four-year-old is still like, she see a man with makeup on, she doesn't think anything but, oh, he must be in the band. | ||
| But that's what I fucking, I don't have time to go into this shit right now. | ||
| With her in this elevator. | ||
| Right. | ||
| With this guy. | ||
| I don't know what his situation is. | ||
| He could have bad skin. | ||
| I don't know what the situation is. | ||
| But the quickest thing I can say right now, he's in a fucking van. | ||
| And people will laugh And then get mad when other people want to get mad with him. | ||
| But it's almost like the Will Smith thing. | ||
| Will laughed, Jada wasn't happy, now he fucking slaps Chris. | ||
| What the fuck just happened, Will? | ||
| He was just laughing. | ||
| But I think that if you are able to laugh at somebody else's disposition, you should be able to laugh at yours. | ||
| Because when I'm on stage, I'm saying a lot of shit that people may not agree with. | ||
| You may not agree with the parenting style of my parents, but you can't go back and change that. | ||
| My mom did what she did. | ||
| It made me who I am, and you pick up things. | ||
| But man, I'll never forget Mr. Reggie ran the day center, and Mr. Reggie was this black gay guy. | ||
| And he was fucking hysterical. | ||
| And I asked him one time, I said, Mr. Reggie, you want kids? | ||
| He said, hell no. | ||
| I don't even want y'all to be here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, damn, Mr. Reggie? | |
| He's like, me and y'all get on my goddamn nerves. | ||
| But he, I think that white experience, even in this world, is different than black experience. | ||
| Because my cologne man, Keith, You have a cologne, man? | ||
| Yeah, he supplies colognes at the barbershop. | ||
| And he gets the best shit. | ||
| So, and Keith is in our barbershop, and we have no rules. | ||
| We do not censor our conversation for Keith. | ||
| And when Keith comes in, I remember when Keith got his fucking hair, he got some hair implants. | ||
| And I'm talking about, Keith has done so much shit to himself. | ||
| And when he comes in and I see him, I'm going to say some wild shit to Keith. | ||
| He knows he's getting it. | ||
| And when he comes in, Keith don't give a shit about what I'm saying. | ||
| Keith's like, yo, man, you want this cologne or not? | ||
| Like, Keith, you just got, did you fucking get your eyes done? | ||
| Keith, do you have on fucking cinnamon contacts? | ||
| Or you just, I don't know, fucking proud today, huh, Keith? | ||
| Keith's like, Keith doesn't give a shit about what I, and he doesn't care what, I go to Midtown Barbershop. | ||
| He doesn't give a shit About anything that we say about him in that barbershop. | ||
| And he's not the only gay person that comes to the barbershop. | ||
| He's been coming there for years. | ||
| And Keith, he's a fucking crazy man. | ||
| But he's accustomed to that culture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And whatever is said, that's not bothering him because we're not violent towards him. | ||
| We're just talking shit. | ||
| This is a barbershop. | ||
| Talking shit. | ||
| If you come in, if you straight and you come in with some weird shit on, some shit gonna be said about you. | ||
| It just, it happens. | ||
| So Keith come in, I ain't seen Keith in a while. | ||
| I said, Keith, where you been? | ||
| And then I had a little situation. | ||
| I had a little procedure. | ||
| I'm in the hospital. | ||
| And I immediately said, oh, you're getting your stomach pumped! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, I immediately said the shit. | |
| Keith's like, you're a fucking asshole. | ||
| Like, I'm just saying. | ||
| But I don't think that they understand how black people operate Even in the space. | ||
| You think there's nobody gay in my family? | ||
| My cousin know I don't fucking hate him. | ||
| I don't give a shit about your sexuality. | ||
| So they want you to not talk about things as loosely, I guess, and take into consideration that you would hurt gay people's feelings that want to be parents? | ||
| I would probably hurt anybody's feelings if I'm up there talking about things that I think that's contrary to you, if that's where your feelings are based. | ||
| But my actions are Contrary to, like I say on stage, I'm not a handyman. | ||
| Am I really not a handyman? | ||
| Fuck no. | ||
| I have been not handy in the past. | ||
| But now I can figure out how to fix anything. | ||
| And if I can't figure out, I'm going to call somebody to ask. | ||
| Just like, I ask people, but it was all black people. | ||
| I say, you heard what I said on Rogan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was you offended? | ||
| No. | ||
| I'd buy the fucking lease, but that's my... | ||
| I think it's a subject that they don't want you talking about at all. | ||
| Unless you are... | ||
| Like you can't have opinions unless it is... | ||
| Their opinion. | ||
| Their opinion, yeah. | ||
| Manufacturing consent. | ||
| Well, and it comes... | ||
| It's not just about that. | ||
| Mario Lopez had to apologize because he was talking about children taking hormones to transition. | ||
| And he said he just didn't think that it should happen, that children should take hormones to become a different gender. | ||
| And he almost lost his fucking job. | ||
| And because he thought something? | ||
| Because he had an opinion about... | ||
| And by the way, that's an opinion shared by a lot of medical doctors. | ||
| That's an opinion shared by a lot of psychologists. | ||
| That's an opinion shared by a lot of people that are very concerned. | ||
| And he almost lost his job because you can't have an opinion that even... | ||
| Like I told you before in the first podcast, one of my old neighbors, they're gay, and they had a kid, and they adopted this kid, and this kid was great. | ||
| And they had a great family. | ||
| It does work. | ||
| I don't have the same opinion as you, as far as that. | ||
| But you're allowed to have different opinions about everything, in my mind. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Look, that's what podcasts are all about. | ||
| That's what conversations are all about. | ||
| I want to know why you think the way you think. | ||
| And if you have a perception, and you have a way that you look at things, and it's different than the way I look at things, I just want to see why you think that way. | ||
| And you were pretty clear. | ||
| They're not making children. | ||
| This is a different thing. | ||
| You're adopting a child, but this is not the same kind of relationship as a man and woman who have a child and then raise a child, and it's like it comes out of the woman's body. | ||
| It's a connection. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| It's a different thing, but when people do research, it's what they call a hypothesis. | ||
| They're trying to figure out What works is they have an educated guess and then they start working towards the things. | ||
| It's research. | ||
| So you think something and then you start to go through it. | ||
| Pros, cons. | ||
| Some things were like with the vaccination. | ||
| Some people got sick, some people didn't. | ||
| Is the vaccination bad? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Some people got sick, some people didn't. | ||
| I don't think the vaccination is good. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Some people got sick, some people didn't. | ||
| You don't think you should take it. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| All these fucking non-vaxxers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Like, okay, were you asking people to get vaccinated? | ||
| Five years ago? | ||
| Ten years ago? | ||
| From other shit, but not this new shit that people don't have enough information on just yet. | ||
| So therefore, I don't want to fucking do it right now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it is another one of those things where you have to have the same opinion as everybody else. | ||
| Or they get furious at you. | ||
| But what does your fury do but cause more rage? | ||
| I don't think they're thinking about it that way. | ||
| I think they just, like, in this situation, like, the subject that we're talking about, gay people adopting children, I think people just want compliance. | ||
| They want you to comply with whatever the narrative that they're trying to establish is. | ||
| The same thing when Mario Lopez was talking about children taking hormones. | ||
| It's like, there's a narrative, they don't want you to have an opinion outside that narrative, and if you do, they want to fire you from things. | ||
| And the situation with you and HBO is, look, I told you this last night and I believe it now. | ||
| I think it's good. | ||
| Not necessarily good to have these people upset at you, but good that you put it on YouTube. | ||
| Because the distribution is so much better. | ||
| You'll get millions more views. | ||
| Millions more views. | ||
| It'll be accessible anytime anybody wants it for free. | ||
| Anytime you just pull up your phone, bam! | ||
| You're waiting for a plane, bam! | ||
| Watch it. | ||
| Anytime you want, bam! | ||
| Watch it. | ||
| It's always available. | ||
| Always available. | ||
| You'll get millions more views. | ||
| It's so much better for you. | ||
| And I think people will understand the thought process of a lot more things. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| At 10 that I knew were bad decisions later on. | ||
| But if somebody would have protected me from that decision, my sister tried. | ||
| My sister was like, nah, I don't think that's the way to go. | ||
| Sometimes you got to learn for yourself. | ||
| And so I think even when I'm a child and I'm walking through life as a child and I'm making a lot of bad decisions that I know that Now, I would never want my child to go through, hey man, let me give you a lot more. | ||
| I just want to build a confidence up in children that they will... | ||
| Not succumb to these outside forces that's pulling you towards things that's contrary to your moral standings on things. | ||
| It's hard for people because they get to school and there's so many people that want you to believe a certain way. | ||
| I've talked to kids that told me, and these are like 12-year-old kids, that they were getting bullied at school because they weren't vaccinated. | ||
| And other kids were vaccinated. | ||
| And I'm like, what 12-year-old understands the ramifications of getting vaccinated for something that they have zero fear of getting sick and hospitalized for? | ||
| Somebody said it to them. | ||
| Unless you're obese, unless there's something wrong with you, unless you're immunocompromised, the hard science. | ||
| On COVID is young children that are healthy children are rarely hospitalized. | ||
| Very, very, very rarely. | ||
| Far more vulnerable to the flu. | ||
| My kids had it. | ||
| The flu or COVID? No, the COVID. Mine too. | ||
| My kids had it and we tried to isolate them. | ||
| From my daughter who has allergies. | ||
| And we would wake up in the middle of the night, she in the bed with her sister and her brother that both had COVID. We was trying to keep you safe. | ||
| And she was like, nope, need to be with my family. | ||
| And she never caught it. | ||
| And they had it. | ||
| And my kids are fine. | ||
| My kids both got it, and they were fine. | ||
| They got over it easy. | ||
| One kid just got a headache, the other kid felt like she had a little bit of a cold for a day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| It was one of those things, though, where the heightened fear, and they were pushing it so hard. | ||
| The difference between the way they felt about it here versus the way they felt about it in L.A. L.A., they're still scared. | ||
| They're still wearing masks everywhere. | ||
| I mean, it's so different. | ||
| Out here, no one gave a fuck. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why my kids wanted to move here. | ||
| We came out here in May of 2020, and my kids were like, Mommy, I want to move here. | ||
| Come on, Daddy, let's live here. | ||
| I'm like... | ||
| I'll fucking move here. | ||
| And I told my wife, I will fucking move here. | ||
| I do not like where LA's going. | ||
| That fear is hard to shake off. | ||
| That shit sticks like tar. | ||
| It's just stuck to people out there. | ||
| And LA, New York, people are all up on top of each other. | ||
| Texas, people a little more spread it out. | ||
| And he's like, yo, man, I don't even see that many people. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I'm not just... | ||
| And I think that with... | ||
| People are so quick to give somebody a phobia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or diagnose somebody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because I like things in order. | ||
| Oh, you OCD. I just like things in order. | ||
| Maybe I just like balance. | ||
| Yeah, you have ADHD because you can't pay attention to boring shit. | ||
| That's what it is, man. | ||
| I don't want to watch some weird-ass TED Talk. | ||
| How many kids are getting medicated because they're bored in school? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| I'll never forget My daughter. | ||
| Like, I remember homeschool had a phobia of, like, people, your kid's not gonna be socialized. | ||
| Your kid is gonna be this girl. | ||
| Homeschool is way better. | ||
| I remember my daughter, my oldest daughter, Jaden, she's a chef at James Harden Restaurant 13. She was in school and the teacher said that she was being disruptive in class. | ||
| And I went And I just snuck and looked to see what she was doing. | ||
| She was in kindergarten and she had already been... | ||
| My daughter was reading at three. | ||
| So now you're in there doing colors and numbers and she's in the back doing shit like this. | ||
| They're like, what color is this? | ||
| Blue. | ||
| And she in the back, B-L-U-E, blue. | ||
| What the fuck are we doing, man? | ||
| She's born. | ||
| She's advanced. | ||
| It's like her and this other guy, I know his mom, they moved him to this school, Longfellow, that had a gifted and talented program. | ||
| They both went gifted and talented all through elementary, all through middle school, all through high school. | ||
| Never was bored in class because they were being stimulated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stimulated, yes. | |
| And you got a lot of shit to do, so I think that that's a part of it as well. | ||
| This kid don't have ADHD. This kid is bored at this goddamn bullshit-ass curriculum that you have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're like, you're teaching me goddamn... | ||
| And non-interested teachers, too. | ||
| Oh, man, non-interested teachers, man. | ||
| This shit just bothers me. | ||
| And I say this, and I know teachers get upset. | ||
| Every time I say this, I get backlash, but when people get upset about things, you have to think about it. | ||
| I've seen teachers walk out for more pay, maybe twice. | ||
| We walk, they get us on strike for more pay, maybe more times than that. | ||
| I'm just going on times that I just currently can think of. | ||
| But they never walk out for a better curriculum for children. | ||
| Like they say, the school system is not this, not that, and it is not challenging, but you never walk out for a better curriculum. | ||
| They can't get it together on the same page. | ||
| We want to teach these kids and really teach these kids, the United States kids, to be in the upper echelon of intelligent children and intelligent people in the world. | ||
| I wonder where we rank at right now Where does the United States rank in education? | ||
| It's pretty low. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
36. I'll say 30. I bet we're lower than that. | |
| So why not adopt? | ||
| Why be so arrogant not to adopt somebody else's? | ||
| Who's number one? | ||
| Let's adopt that curriculum and put that curriculum and put that attitude in. | ||
| Your kids go to school and eat what type of fucking food? | ||
| Do they have a five star chef back there giving nutritious food to the children? | ||
| One of the things about my son when he went to school, he complained about the bathroom being filthy and not having enough time to eat. | ||
| And he was done with the shit. | ||
| He went to school for three months and then that was it. | ||
| He's never been back. | ||
| He was done with the shit. | ||
| It's a kid that knows the quality of education. | ||
| It's like, yo, I can't even borrow when I'm doing math. | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| You taught me how to borrow. | ||
| And I'm a math fucking magician. | ||
| I was a street farmer school rep. | ||
| I know math. | ||
| I know both fucking systems. | ||
| What's the number? | ||
| Honestly? | ||
| World ranking. | ||
| When you type it in, it says we're number one. | ||
| So the first three articles I find say we're number one. | ||
| And then they start seeing articles that say U.S. shows they're falling behind the world. | ||
| And I'm like, all right, well, who is deciding? | ||
| Oh, so now New Zealand is not number one no more. | ||
| So like the one that says we're number one comes from the U.S. News and World Report, BAV Group and the Wharton Schools. | ||
| When was that? | ||
| This is 2022 or 2020. And I got one that says they took comparing test scores. | ||
| Rankings falling behind the rest of the world. | ||
| 2022, they give some tests to 15-year-olds, and according to that test, we're 11th out of 79 countries in science. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Much worse in ranking, ranking 30th. | |
| But, like I said, when you type in here, like, United States, number one, education rankings by country. | ||
| I don't know, like, who's putting this together. | ||
| Probably the education group of the United States of America. | ||
| I've got to wrap this up. | ||
| It's already 4 o'clock. | ||
| Ali, tell everybody how to get a hold of you. | ||
| Social media, your special's available right now. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| It's excellent. | ||
| The domino effect. | ||
| And what your social media is? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| Hey, it's Ali Sadiq. | ||
| You can go to AliSadiq.com and watch the special. | ||
| It'll take you straight to YouTube, but you can type in YouTube, Ali Sadiq, S-I-D-D-I-Q. On Instagram, it's Ali Sadiq. | ||
| On Facebook, it's Ali Sadiq. | ||
| And on Twitter, it's Ali underscore Speaks. | ||
| You can find me at all those spots, man. | ||
| Watch the special, share the special. | ||
| It's a fucking great special. | ||
| It's nice to be able to say that, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's available for everybody. | ||
| Free on YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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