March 31, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:14:03
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | ||
|
unidentified
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The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Hello, Joe Rogan. | ||
|
unidentified
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When are you moving to Texas? | |
| As soon as I can. | ||
| Are you thinking about it? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
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Really? | |
| I'm coming down. | ||
| Yeah, I'll be here. | ||
| That club's opening. | ||
| I love Texas. | ||
| I love Terry's barbecue. | ||
| How fun was last night? | ||
| Last night was a lot of fun at the Vulcan. | ||
| Those shows are fucking great. | ||
| We're doing those shows every week. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's such an amazing place where you can fuck around and work out and write new shit and practice in front of live audiences. | ||
| Yeah, they were an incredible audience, incredible show. | ||
| It was nice. | ||
| Green room's nice. | ||
| Private bathroom. | ||
| Push a coat in, that's nice. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's a win-win-win. | ||
| Yeah, it's fun, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a unique situation to be at a comedy scene. | ||
| There was always a comedy scene here, but now it's like, because of COVID, it got this new boost. | ||
| And so many guys moved here, and now it's flourishing. | ||
| And now it's different. | ||
| It's got a different feel to it. | ||
| Yeah, and it's not just comics, it's people. | ||
| I mean, this place is growing and growing and growing. | ||
| Every time I come here, it's like watching somebody who started working out and you haven't seen them in a while, and you're like, wow, man, you're looking good! | ||
| You're looking good. | ||
| You shed a few pounds, you know, and by that I mean like shed a few homeless people in the street, like they're less and less. | ||
| That's the big move. | ||
| We actually talked about that yesterday with Michael Schellenberger, a guy who's running for governor of California. | ||
| And the mayor, Steven Adler of Austin, he had a plan and he fucking pulled it off. | ||
| He was like, if I can fix this homeless problem, if I can't fix this homeless problem by the time I leave office, he goes, it'll be a big failure. | ||
| He goes, but I think I can do it. | ||
| He goes, it's only a couple thousand people. | ||
| We think we can provide them housing. | ||
| We think we can get them help. | ||
| Give them shelter. | ||
| You're always going to have some people that just want to live in the woods in a tent. | ||
| You're going to have some schizophrenics who think the government's got a chip in their brain. | ||
| It's always crazy people. | ||
| But he managed to get all those tents off of Cesar Chavez, off of those main streets, off of downtown, and it's way better now. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| I used to work at a formerly homeless SRO. Other states should adopt that. | ||
| New York City, they have this thing. | ||
| It's called an SRO, where it's like Section 8 housing, so the government pays most of it, tries to employ them. | ||
| There's caseworkers there. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| And that's great. | ||
| It houses the homeless. | ||
| They usually take old hotels, or sometimes I think they build buildings specifically for that. | ||
| They have their own room, a shared bathroom, and caseworkers on there. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Did you do that fresh out of college? | ||
| I did that. | ||
| I did 9-11 disaster relief fresh out of college from 2002 to 2005. So that was like an ad hoc agency, Lutheran Social Services. | ||
| So that was my first foray into social work. | ||
| And then I worked at an SRO for two years. | ||
| So when you say disaster relief, like what does that entail? | ||
| It was helping people who lost their livelihood, lost family members at 9-11. | ||
| You know, they were affected by it in some way. | ||
| They were in the blast zone, the disaster zone. | ||
| They had to be relocated. | ||
| They lost their jobs. | ||
| So we would like... | ||
| Petition to FEMA to get them. | ||
| It was called the Mortgage Rental Assistance Program. | ||
| So we'd take their cases there. | ||
| There was this combined charity called the Unmet Needs Table where you would take a client and present the case. | ||
| They lost this income or they lost a family member so they lost this for assistance. | ||
| So we were like their representative. | ||
| And you would take their case. | ||
| Their case would be approved for the Unmet Needs Table. | ||
| And it was a bunch of charities that came together and they would sit. | ||
| It would be like Catholic Charities, Lutheran Social Service, and you know, a bunch of charities, and they would dole out money and assistance to people who were affected. | ||
| There was a lot of people, particularly first responders, that were deeply affected by 9-11 because of all the chemicals and the residue and the shit that was in the air because of the explosions and the collapsing of the buildings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did they ever provide them relief? | ||
| I know Jon Stewart was actively campaigning for that. | ||
| I remember he was making... | ||
| Which is crazy that that's an issue. | ||
| 20 fucking years later that they're still talking about that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, when I... I got so burnt out from all that, I kind of just switched off after I was done. | ||
| And what I was doing was like so close to the... | ||
| To the event. | ||
| It was, like, right after. | ||
| It was, like, you know, I started, what was it, the beginning of 2002? | ||
| So it was mostly just, like, emergency assistance. | ||
| Like, people were all... | ||
| I remember my first day on the job, like, I'd never done social work, whatever. | ||
| The first, you know, I was 22, 23 or something. | ||
| And first day on the job, this dude, he was a pastry chef at Windows on the World. | ||
| And I met him. | ||
| He was a new client. | ||
| I met him in this little, like, cubby, you know, Meeting room and he started crying to me. | ||
| You know, he was off that day and the survivor guilt and like he lost all his friends and I was just sitting there as a kid going like, all right, man, you need a coffee or something? | ||
| I didn't know what to do. | ||
| Like I was just not good at it yet. | ||
| How old were you? | ||
| 23 something, 22, 23. Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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Jesus. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And then, dude, when you do social work, they call it counter transference, I think is the official term for it. | ||
| We're like... | ||
| If you're an empathetic person, you start taking it home with you. | ||
| And that started happening to me. | ||
| Because these people were getting evicted. | ||
| They lost their job or they worked at the Millennium Hotel, I think it was called, which was right across the street. | ||
| I had a lot of clients that worked there. | ||
| And then you go home and you start worrying about, like, dude, I got to get this money from the MN needs table. | ||
| I got to get them the MRA program or else they're going to get evicted. | ||
| You start taking it on. | ||
| And that's when I started having panic attacks. | ||
| And it was an interesting time. | ||
| Well, I can only imagine. | ||
| Of course you would take it on. | ||
| Or you would become numb if you did it too often. | ||
| And that's the dilemma the police officers face, right? | ||
| I mean, if you're dealing with domestic violence case after domestic violence case after homicide, after murder-suicide, you know, over and over and over again, you're fucking seeing this shit every day, all day. | ||
| Like, how do you not take some of it home with you? | ||
| You do. | ||
| I mean, unless you're a psychopath, which is a real advantage in life. | ||
| It's an advantage of your CEO, apparently. | ||
| They say that's one of the biggest character traits for successful CEOs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Comics? | ||
|
unidentified
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Psychopaths? | |
| You think so? | ||
| I mean, yeah, some. | ||
| Sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists. | ||
| But don't you think they have to be good? | ||
| To be a good comic, you have to resonate with people in some way. | ||
| You have to be at least somewhat compassionate. | ||
| All the good guys that we know, the guys who are good, none of them are sociopaths or psychopaths. | ||
| Or if they are, they're really good at it. | ||
| I mean, you know, if you think about it, we share our skill sets very similar to dictators. | ||
| We get up there, we move crowds, you know, we get people to believe. | ||
| I mean, that kid used to crush. | ||
| I mean, say what you want. | ||
| He was a headliner. | ||
| He was a fucking headliner. | ||
| Yeah, you try going up after him. | ||
| Imagine having to go on after Hitler. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially in Germany. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, in his own town. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| He came up in tough rooms, those beer rooms. | ||
| He came up in bars. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| He came up like a New York comic. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He did. | ||
| And he was on Coke. | ||
| Yeah, he was on all types of stuff. | ||
| Coked up. | ||
| They shot him full of testosterone and cocaine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sent him up there. | ||
| Get up for that. | ||
| I wish I could speak German to really understand the impact of his words, to get it from the actual language itself. | ||
| Because if a guy was up there crushing like that in English, it would be very disturbing. | ||
| Especially if you knew that this guy was a totalitarian dictator who was going to lead his people to a fucking disastrous war, a war based around race and creating a master race. | ||
| I mean, that's a fucking crazy, dystopian, terrifying thing that happened 80 years ago. | ||
| Wild to think. | ||
| Wild! | ||
| It's so recent, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's very recent. | ||
| And it really hits home with this Putin shit. | ||
| Because now, you know, when you're seeing Putin invade Ukraine, you're going, oh, this can happen again. | ||
| This is a thing. | ||
| This is a thing that people do occasionally. | ||
| Yeah, people need to realize dictators... | ||
| They have a modus operandi. | ||
| They have a personality type. | ||
| They don't change. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Putin's not like, I'm good, you know? | ||
| No. | ||
| You take Ukraine, I'll take Russia. | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| He's said it many times. | ||
| He's like, I want more. | ||
| I want the former glory of the USSR. The worst thing that ever happened was the breakup of this thing. | ||
| And, you know, there's a perspective that he had that maybe what's preventing him from that... | ||
| Is the NATO alliance. | ||
| I know it's going to get a lot of hate for people saying that because people love Putin now, apparently. | ||
| Do they really? | ||
| And there's a lot of people who are like, ah, yeah, we're provoking him by being on the border. | ||
| It's like there's a bunch of countries that are on the border already. | ||
| And it's like those countries joined because they're scared of Russia. | ||
| Russia has expanded. | ||
| Ask Finnish people which do they prefer, the United States. | ||
| You know, we're still the good guy here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're still the good guy. | ||
| We are the citizens. | ||
| Our ideology is. | ||
| But when you think about the stuff that our government is doing, I mean, how about, you know, don't get Dave Smith started about the war in Yemen. | ||
| You'll find out deep details about the illegal war in Yemen and the bombings and just how many people we fucking kill with drones. | ||
| There was a chart that showed, and this is not, you know, an anti-American statement, but it's just like there's a thing about military. | ||
| There's a thing about war and strategy. | ||
| And this whole NATO thing mixed with Putin. | ||
| You know, the thing that they were worried about is the literal thing that he's doing. | ||
| He's invading Ukraine and blowing up fucking apartment buildings and shooting missiles into cities and taking over cities. | ||
| It's kind of like I told you so. | ||
| It's like they were worried about him expanding his range of power, and so they wanted to, you know, there's talk about them wanting to join NATO and wanting to join the EU, and people are like, well, that's provoking them, but isn't this like what they were worried about? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, when you see him move in, is it provoking him? | ||
| Like, look what he's doing. | ||
| He's doing exactly what we're fucking terrified of a guy like him doing. | ||
| Yeah, he knows we're not gonna invade because of the mutually assured destruction and also nobody ever invades Russia and gets out alive. | ||
| Dude, I used to think it was mutually assured destruction until I talked to Mike Baker, who's a former CIA operative, and I use the word former in quotes. | ||
| He told me that they have hypersonic weapons now. | ||
| And he goes, this whole idea of mutually assured destruction was based on the concept that if we got word that Russia had launched its missiles, we would also launch our missiles. | ||
| We had like 20 minutes to do so, and then everybody would get blown up. | ||
| He goes, no. | ||
| He goes, now these hypersonic missiles, not only do they move faster than the speed of sound, but you can't detect where they're going because they can change course in midair. | ||
| So you're shooting it towards Chicago and it just hooks a left turn and lands in New York City You have no idea where it's going or how to prepare it and it's moving fast in the speed of sound so all that shit that I mean, I don't know if the Iron Dome that the Israelis have, I don't think that's capable of stopping hypersonic weapons, is it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It sounds like the ways of missiles. | ||
| It's like, all right, let's take a left here. | ||
| This one's blocked. | ||
| Yeah, exact ways. | ||
| Yeah, it seems like the response time, you would have to have like a few seconds. | ||
| I mean, you have, I don't know how, like from the speed of sound, how long does it take to go from Moscow to Manhattan? | ||
| Let's find that out. | ||
| Something more feasible. | ||
| Moscow to Seattle. | ||
| Like, Moscow to Seattle is a quick hop and a jump, right? | ||
| But we got those too, right? | ||
| We have supersonic... | ||
| I don't think we do yet. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| I don't think we do. | ||
| Only China and Russia have them, supposedly. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| And they've been firing them, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, Putin launched one in Ukraine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, just to make sure it works. | ||
| Dictators be dictators. | ||
| 27 times the speed of sound. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| According to this article in the Seattle Times. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 27 times the speed of sound is insane. | ||
| How much time would it take for one of those missiles to hit Seattle from Russia? | ||
| I'm a guess. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| 15 seconds. | ||
| I'm gonna say 17 seconds just we have two different answers. | ||
| Because I have no idea. | ||
| I'm just guessing. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I mean, that many times faster than speed of sound. | ||
| I'm trying to do the math on it. | ||
| Well, it's just not coming up in the article that way. | ||
| So the speed of sound is, it's like, that's Mach 1 or whatever. | ||
| It's 323 meters per second. | ||
| When I type that in, times, you know, I'm trying to get on the screen. | ||
| Times 27 in December, I claimed it could reach Mach 27, which is 20,500 miles per hour. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh! | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| That's a quick flight. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| So that's basically the whole world in an hour. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Am I right about that? | ||
| Let me hit the distance from Moscow to Russia so we can see how long it is. | ||
| I think that's right. | ||
| The world is 24,000 miles around, isn't it? | ||
| Because it's 24 hours to spin for a whole cycle of a day. | ||
| It's like you're looking at a fish asking what it's like to breathe air. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm a fish too. | ||
| I'm a moron too. | ||
| I'm just guessing. | ||
| I should just agree. | ||
| Like, we're smart. | ||
| Like, yeah, absolutely. | ||
| But it depends on the elements, of course. | ||
| While you're doing a podcast, you're juggling so many things in your head and trying to manage the conversation and then also do math. | ||
| 8,365 kilometers. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So if it's going 24... | ||
| 33,000 kilometers. | ||
| That's like a quarter of it. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| 15 minutes? | ||
| 15 minutes. | ||
| Is that the metric system, kilometers? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| So you have 15 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
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Is there a Canadian we can ask? | |
| I don't know if that's right. | ||
| 15 minutes seems... | ||
| Well, whatever it is. | ||
| It's quick. | ||
| You don't have time. | ||
| You don't have, like, an hour. | ||
| Putin's strapped. | ||
| He's strapped, and so is China. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're both strapped. | ||
| Do they know jujitsu, though? | ||
| Oh, Putin does. | ||
| He does. | ||
| Putin knows judo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's a legit black belt in judo. | ||
| Because it may come hand-to-hand. | ||
| Who has more, like, dudes who are ready? | ||
| Like, if it gets hand-to-hand... | ||
| Well, I mean, it's a numbers game because Russians are hard fucking people. | ||
| They are hard human beings. | ||
| Some of the Russians that are fighting in the UFC right now are just dominating. | ||
| There's so many guys from Dagestan that are crushing people. | ||
| There's guys from All sorts, that whole area. | ||
| Chechnya has a lot of fucking, one of the top guys right now is from Chechnya. | ||
| This guy, Hamzat Shemaev. | ||
| There's, you know, obviously, Khabib Nurmagomedov, who's the GOAT. He's from Dagestan. | ||
| There's a ton of guys from Dagestan. | ||
| And Russia always seems to have just, like, millions of people to throw at death during a war. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Anytime you read about anything in history that has to do with Russian war, it's just like, and a million Russians died. | ||
| Yeah, we had a guy the other day that was telling us they have a mobile crematorium. | ||
| So they're just throwing their corpses into this incinerator. | ||
| So there's no account of how many dead. | ||
| They don't have a real good count because they're getting wiped out. | ||
| Because what he's explaining to us was that the roads into Kiev, you have to take those roads. | ||
| You can't go around because the ground is all mud right now. | ||
| So if they took the tanks and all these armored vehicles off-road, they would all get bogged down in the mud. | ||
| So they see them coming. | ||
| So these guys just stand on the side of the road and hide behind buildings and launch fucking missiles and rockets at these armored carriers and blow these things up left and right. | ||
| So these guys are dying. | ||
| But they're also killing a shitload of civilians too. | ||
| That's the horrible part. | ||
| That's why it's like the people of the world should demand like, alright, You want Donbass and whatever the other region is and Crimea, no civilians, no more soldiers fighting, no more kids dying. | ||
| It's Putin vs. | ||
| Biden. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Well, we lose. | ||
| No, we win, Duke. | ||
| You got that wrong. | ||
| How does Biden win? | ||
| He's a white walker, dude. | ||
| You don't watch Game of Thrones? | ||
| Who are you putting your money on? | ||
| Jon Snow or the dude who's from the dead? | ||
| Can you imagine if they actually made leaders fight? | ||
| We'd have a real problem. | ||
| The mountain would be the king of the world from Game of Thrones. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He would be the king of the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He would be our king. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the way it should happen, though, right? | ||
| Shouldn't it be just like a commission fight? | ||
| Well, if we had to... | ||
| Like, we don't have... | ||
| Like, who's the best person, the best representative of the United States? | ||
| Well, you'd have to use Francis Ngannou. | ||
| I mean, he's from Cameroon, but he is, like, at least officially, he's the UFC heavyweight champion and lives in America. | ||
| Oh, yeah, you could do it. | ||
| He fights for America. | ||
| America, we claim, yeah. | ||
| We'd have to. | ||
| Hillary Clinton became a senator in New York. | ||
| She was there like a day. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's true. | |
| Yeah, Ngannou's American now. | ||
| He's American. | ||
| If you've got skills, you're American. | ||
| If you want to be here, you're American. | ||
| No, we tighten him up, give him a nice bag. | ||
| Yeah, we work on his accent a little bit. | ||
| Sound like he's from Chicago. | ||
| Keep that accent. | ||
| We take everybody here. | ||
| We're America. | ||
| That's the thing about America. | ||
| You can have an accent and be American. | ||
| We're a melting pot. | ||
| We should embrace his accent. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| He's an amazing guy. | ||
| You ever listen to his story? | ||
| I just know that he's... | ||
| I know he's not rich. | ||
| I know he didn't come from riches. | ||
| Nobody is that good. | ||
| Way crazier than that. | ||
| Way crazier than that. | ||
| He made his way from Cameroon to Morocco. | ||
| It took 14 months. | ||
| He basically did it on foot, hitching rides, paying people to take him across the desert, and then they would get in rafts and go from Morocco to Europe. | ||
| Seven times he got arrested and every time they would arrest you they would drop you off in the desert hoping you would die so they take you deep into the desert drop you off and he made it back to the fucking border every single time and the way he detailed it on my podcast it was like this Harrowing long story that you can't believe is real, but you know is real. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| He's got like a life story of Bane from Batman. | ||
| He's a superhero from a movie. | ||
| He's a guy from a movie when you hear what he did. | ||
| He worked in a sand mine when he was 11 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's one of the reasons why he's so fucking strong. | ||
| I mean, obviously, he's 6'5 or 6'6, incredible genetics, but on top of that, as a child, worked in a fucking sand mine, just digging sand as a small boy, just strengthening. | ||
| Like, it's like a Conan scene. | ||
| When Conan was on the wheel in that movie, like, pushing the wheel through the sand. | ||
| That's our king. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think you just made a pretty good argument. | ||
| Yeah, that's our king. | ||
| Imagine Putin. | ||
| Is he the baddest dude in the world? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Like there's nobody in the world that could take him. | ||
| No. | ||
| No one in the world in an MMA fight, you know, they're talking about him fighting Tyson Fury in a boxing match, which I fully support, just because I want him to make a lot of money, but in an MMA fight, he would murder Tyson Fury. | ||
| It wouldn't last long. | ||
| It wouldn't last long. | ||
| He would kick his legs one or two times, and Tyson Fury would be incapacitated. | ||
| He would clinch him up against the fence, elbow him in the head. | ||
| If he took him to the ground, whatever he did. | ||
| Once it's in the MMA realm, Everybody's fucked. | ||
| You put him in a cage, everybody's fucked. | ||
| Give him a five-minute round, everybody's fucked. | ||
| He's going to crush everybody. | ||
| He's too big, too strong, and he's become clever, and he's got really good coaching now. | ||
| His fight against Stipe Miocic, the first fight, he thought he was just going to knock him out and he lost the decision. | ||
| But the second fight, he showed composure and poise and patience and a great game plan and just destroyed Stipe. | ||
| Stipe also made a mistake when he thought after he got up, right, he clipped him a little bit. | ||
| He thought he heard him. | ||
| He thought he heard him and then he opened himself up, yeah. | ||
| But that's just Stipe. | ||
| You know, Stipe's just a warrior. | ||
| He's always looking for openings. | ||
| He's looking to turn the tide. | ||
| But Francis is just too powerful. | ||
| It's just like, it's also the difference between a guy who's like a natural 240, 235, 240, and a guy who's a natural 270. Yeah. | ||
| That's what Francis... | ||
| Francis loses weight to make the... | ||
| UFC has a heavyweight limit of 265, and Francis loses weight to make 265. Natural. | ||
| Yeah, but let's just say Stipe did beat him once, so that does speak to how tough a place Cleveland is. | ||
| I mean, I'm playing there soon, and Cleveland looks a little like Cameroon right now. | ||
| Well, it's also Croatians. | ||
| Stipe's got those fucking Croatian genes. | ||
| Eastern European, yeah. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| That Eastern block down there. | ||
| But, you know, he's also, he's like, he's out of some fucking wars, man. | ||
| And I think that first fight with Francis took a lot out of Stipe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think it took a lot out of him. | ||
| I think there's certain fights where a guy's really never going to be the same again after the fight. | ||
| That's probably one of them. | ||
| If I was fighting in Ghanu, if I was training someone to fight in Ghanu, The first thing I would do is be like, don't read anything about him. | ||
| I don't want you to know his story. | ||
| My advice would just be like, cover your head up and let him hit you in the body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let it be over. | ||
| Take that body shot and just fucking go down. | ||
| Hope he doesn't finish you off with a hammer fist to the jaw where you have to drink out of a fucking straw for the next three months. | ||
| Remember Peter McNeely when he fought Mike Tyson? | ||
| He just ran at him and was like, I'm going to try this once. | ||
| And then he's just like, okay, I'm going down. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's it. | |
| He clipped Tyson a couple of times. | ||
| I mean, that was Tyson fresh out of the joint. | ||
| Yeah, you just gotta hope to get lucky with one swing and then you're going down. | ||
| There's no lucky with Tyson. | ||
| You ain't getting lucky because he can get hit with a missile. | ||
| His head is so fucking thick. | ||
| Like, his jaw is so thick. | ||
| His structure of his neck is so thick. | ||
| Like, he was such a shock absorber for punches. | ||
| Like, Tyson got hit with bombs. | ||
| Even in the fight he lost to Buster Douglas, look at how many times he got hit before he went down. | ||
| Vandr. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was big shots before he went down, whereas most people would have been taken out by one of those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He takes a gang of them before. | ||
| He's like in a movie, or in a video game, rather, when you get to the final boss, and you've got to do everything you can to beat that guy. | ||
| It required so much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, he was like a freak show of speed and power. | ||
|
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|
Technique. | |
| Technique, the whole, his head movement. | ||
| Yeah, everything. | ||
| He would just come in on you and then that move, it was like that patented Tyson, what was it, body shot and then uppercut. | ||
| It was like boom, boom. | ||
| Yep, right to the body. | ||
| You didn't even see the uppercut because it was below your eyes. | ||
| And your body was still quivering from that body shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, it's crazy that just the amount of synchronicity, like how everything just worked out perfectly with him. | ||
| Not perfectly, but you know, like when he was 13 years old, he's this kid who weighs 190 pounds at 13 years old, which is just insane. | ||
| He was a tank. | ||
| And he was relatively short for a heavyweight. | ||
| He was only like 5'10", 5'11". | ||
| And then he meets Customato, who had invented a specific style called the peekaboo style, which was criticized by a lot of people. | ||
| They didn't think it was a good style, where you keep your hands up like this, and you're moving like that, and a lot of bobbing and weaving, which was the perfect style for his body type. | ||
| And Customato literally had mastered that style, and it was basically his invention. | ||
| Was Tyson, like, the one guy who really took that style to a championship? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, other guys had that style and they did it, but Cuss had a lot of really great fighters. | ||
| Like, he had Floyd Patterson and Jose Torres. | ||
| He had very good fighters that came out of his camp, but as he was an old man, he meets this young prodigy. | ||
| That's Tyson. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it was the perfect combination of a guy who's not just a man who knows so much about boxing, who had been around forever, but he was also a psychologist who was a hypnotist. | ||
| So he was a master of psychological preparation, and he would hypnotize Tyson when he was young, and he would tell him, you don't exist. | ||
| It's just the task. | ||
| The task exists. | ||
| He turned him into a Terminator. | ||
| A Terminator. | ||
| Yeah, and he would kill it all. | ||
| Bro, he was a Terminator. | ||
| Dude, that photo, he was a mean-looking dude. | ||
| I wanted to hand that photo my milk money right there. | ||
| I was like, take my wallet. | ||
| And that's a young Tyson. | ||
| That's a young Tyson. | ||
| I think he's got an amateur t-shirt on, so he might have been fighting in the amateurs back then. | ||
| He's a tough dude. | ||
| Yeah, he doesn't even look like he was capable of smiling during that time. | ||
| It's funny because I follow him now, and he's like the wisest guy. | ||
| He's always dropping gems. | ||
| Well, he thinks, man. | ||
| He's always contemplating. | ||
| I mean, even back when he was fighting, he read a lot about conquerors. | ||
| He and I got in this long discussion about Genghis Khan. | ||
| He knows his real name, which is Temujin. | ||
| He rattled off all this data on Genghis Khan. | ||
| He's read extensively on Alexander the Great and all these crazy conquerors. | ||
| That mindset, he applied a lot of their historical writings and all the things that you learn about these conquerors. | ||
| He applied that to his fighting. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And I guess with Customato kind of focused him. | ||
| Because where he's from, Brownsville, I mean, the tough upbringing he had. | ||
| It makes me realize how much of life is... | ||
| To control your emotions because we're not reasonable animals. | ||
| We have the capability of reason and being rational, but we are emotional animals. | ||
| Our innate instincts are to be emotional. | ||
| You have to learn logic and reason and to think you have to learn that. | ||
| It's not innate. | ||
| Well, we're primates. | ||
| That's why we're prone to dictators because it's all emotion. | ||
| They just appeal to your emotion. | ||
| It's all that, but it's also like if you look at primate cultures, there's always an alpha. | ||
| There's a big silverback gorilla. | ||
| There's always an alpha chimp that runs the entire pack of chimps. | ||
| We always have a great leader. | ||
| And throughout history, human beings have had tribal leaders. | ||
| You've had a leader of the tribe that was usually the oldest warrior, the strongest warrior, who had experienced the most, and he would lead the young that were coming up, and they would defend their tribe against invaders. | ||
| That's part of our history. | ||
| Do you think what's maybe going wrong in America with freedom is that because of advertising, because of marketing and how it controls America and how much they market to the youth because that's the coveted demographic, That we've sort of empowered the youth and now even boomers are pejorative. | ||
| People use your age when you're older as like a pejorative. | ||
| Like, you're old, but isn't it like, dude, yeah, I'm old. | ||
| I know more shit than you. | ||
| Yeah, but those people are idiots. | ||
| People who do that, you're old. | ||
| Well, I mean, actually, that's not true because sometimes people are old and they're stuck in their way. | ||
| They're stuck in the way that they were. | ||
| You know, they're stuck in the day. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, back in my day, if you wanted to talk on the phone, you had to stay next to the cord. | |
| You know, like there's some stupid shit like that. | ||
| But there's, you know, there's different kinds of old people. | ||
| There's old people that are wise and there are old people that are young idiots that just survived. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| But the wise ones at least should be revered, no? | ||
| There's got to be some sort of system where you revere experience. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they have to have respect, too. | ||
| Like, they have to respect the young people, too. | ||
| And that's the thing that sometimes people, when they get older, they automatically want respect from young people just because they've lived longer, which is stupid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's old idiots, you know? | ||
| There's old people that are just dumb as fuck. | ||
| And they just manage... | ||
| Because we have a relatively cushy existence. | ||
| For most people, food's not hard to get. | ||
| A decent job where you can pay your rent, not that hard to get. | ||
| This is a time of unprecedented job opportunities. | ||
| So many people have quit their jobs during the pandemic, which is really wild. | ||
| Because I don't know where they're getting their money. | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| But yeah, this is the most comfortable time to be alive. | ||
| The amenities of modernity are sweet. | ||
| They're pretty sweet. | ||
| When you get food delivered to your house, you don't even have to look the guy in the eye. | ||
| You just crack the door open and pull your food in like a prisoner in solitary confinement. | ||
| So there's older folks That deserve deep respect. | ||
| Like there's the Cornel Wests of the world that deserve deep respect. | ||
| They've experienced so much and they're so wise and they're older. | ||
| And then there's old people that are just morons. | ||
| They're just morons that because of all these incredible... | ||
| Inventions and the advances of society and medicine and the availability of food, they've managed to make it to 75. But they're a fucking dummy. | ||
| They're a dumb 23-year-old that just kept living. | ||
| There's a lot of that. | ||
| I used to have a bit about that, about old assholes were assholes when they were young. | ||
| They just survived. | ||
| This idea like, you show me respect. | ||
| You don't deserve respect just because you're old. | ||
| Some people deserve respect. | ||
| I have a theory too, I don't know, it's a little different though, that nobody, you can't really tell who a person really is until they're old because that's when they show their true colors because it's easy to be nice and everything when you're young, hot, fuckable, able-bodied, you know, but like when you get older and you lose all that, if you're still cool, Then you were really cool. | ||
| Because a lot of people turn into bitter dicks when they can't do all the things that they used to do. | ||
| I've spent a lot of time in nursing homes with my parents and a lot of those people are dicks. | ||
| And they were probably really cool when they were able-bodied and fuckable. | ||
|
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|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe not. | ||
| Maybe they always sucked. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, it's... | ||
| The thing about getting older is... | ||
| The biggest shift is hot women. | ||
| When a hot woman goes from being a hot 25-year-old to being a completely unattractive 60-year-old. | ||
| No one wants to have sex with you. | ||
| Everybody wants to have sex with you. | ||
| Imagine if your personality was based. | ||
| A lot of these insta-hoes, think about the fucking future that they're looking at. | ||
| Because if you look at them when they're 25, their entire existence is about... | ||
| You know, videos of them doing squats from behind and, you know, inspirational quotes and music, and they're just flooded with attention. | ||
| Their inbox must look like a tsunami of dicks just flying at them, right? | ||
| 80 fucking 5,000 miles an hour. | ||
| It's like I'd seen in the Bible. | ||
| Instead of frogs, it's just dicks raining on the deck. | ||
| I mean, if you're one of those gals that has like, you know, there's a bunch of those gals that have like millions of Instagram followers and they're just hot as the sun and just doing squats all day and deadlifts and great music and looking ahead all determined with their headphones on and just, they absorb themselves in their phone all day long. | ||
| It's like checking out how many people are paying attention to them, checking out how many likes they're getting, how many messages they're getting. | ||
| When you go from that To 40 years later when you're 65, 40 years happens quick. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| It doesn't seem like it happens quick because 40 years from now, if you had to hold your breath, it seems like a long time. | ||
| But time just keeps going. | ||
| And after a while, you look back and you're 65. You're 65 and no one wants to fuck you. | ||
| Well, I think some of that depends on culture because I've spent a lot of time in Miami. | ||
| I lived down there for a year. | ||
| Those Latin women know how to keep it going. | ||
| J-Lo's a good example of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's just something in that culture where they just keep that sexiness. | ||
| Like, you'll see a grandma... | ||
| Holding her grandkid, but she'll have, the ass will be propped up, she'll be walking like a regal 20-year-old, and the energy, like, I want to fuck her. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Even though she's 70, I want to fuck her. | ||
| What's the oldest lady you would fuck? | ||
| It depends on where. | ||
|
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In Wisconsin, 40. And even then, it'll be like, what do they do? | |
| Yeah, I mean, you know, a lot of it would be weight-based, I think, also. | ||
| How rude. | ||
| Don't you know that body positivity... | ||
| Dude, I just came from San Antonio, so, I mean... | ||
| What's it like down there? | ||
| It's hard to fit in that city. | ||
| How so? | ||
| It's just that people are big. | ||
| The population's not huge, but they're just big folks. | ||
| A lot of food? | ||
| A lot of food there, Texas size, and the people are big. | ||
| Texas people eat a lot. | ||
| Yeah, they eat a lot, and the people are a little big, so it's like a crowded airport, even though there's not a lot of people. | ||
| I wonder if there's an index that shows people's body size in relationship to city, in relationship to how delicious their food is. | ||
| I'm sure there's gotta. | ||
| There must be. | ||
| There's gotta be. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Texas Big is a thing, for sure. | ||
| Like Terry Black's, you go and have barbecue there. | ||
| If you do that multiple times a week, you're gonna be a fat fuck. | ||
| You're gonna be a fat fuck. | ||
| Do you think food, because it becomes such a burden on the healthcare system and because You know, heart attacks and cardiac problems are such a big cause of death. | ||
| Do you think there should be like some sort of system where you have to earn to order the right food? | ||
| Like you go to get a burger and they punch up your name and they go, it's illegal for you. | ||
| Well, that's what... | ||
| The problem with that's... | ||
| You're basically talking about like a social credit system. | ||
| And that's a digital currency system is what... | ||
| More like a diet credit system. | ||
| Yeah, but the problem is you're telling people what they can and can't do with their money. | ||
| And ultimately, there's ways that the government is going to try to implement... | ||
| And I say the government. | ||
| Let's just say the Chinese government. | ||
| Chinese government has already implemented a social credit system. | ||
| And it's tied to digital currency. | ||
| It's tied to your currency. | ||
| So what it means is like... | ||
| You could go to buy something, and it'll say, no, your social credit is too low for you to be able to purchase this, whatever you want to watch. | ||
| You won't be able to do it, because you fucked up, or you talk badly about the government on Twitter. | ||
| Like, that is a real thing, and that's a real concern. | ||
| If you tied that to food, and tied that to, oh, you can't buy that cheeseburger. | ||
| What if I'm fucking hungry? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think you should have freedom. | ||
| And your freedom is also the freedom to become a fat fuck. | ||
| And if you have a burden on the healthcare system, I think it's on the government to try to educate people about the benefits of being healthy and not becoming a fat fuck and being alive to hang out with your grandchildren and hang out with your wife in your golden years. | ||
| The burden should be on education, not on punitive punishments like you can't have a fucking cheeseburger. | ||
| And who's telling me that? | ||
| Chris Christie, is he gonna tell me I can't have a cheeseburger? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| No, he can't have a cheeseburger. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, who's gonna be the person, imagine if you have a fat governor. | ||
| You could do it, dude. | ||
| You're in shape AF. Yeah, but if you see what I eat, I eat like a fucking, like, three people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I eat so much fucking food, dude. | ||
| But you eat lean, you know, and you gotta be doing something right. | ||
| Well, I work out like a terrorist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty intense. | ||
| I eat a lot of food, man. | ||
| I mean, it's like, I'm a glutton. | ||
| I'm a legit glutton. | ||
| I have to curb my tendencies to overeat. | ||
| I eat a lot, too. | ||
| I have to curb mine, yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'm kidding, but it does make for a tidy society. | ||
| You have to admit the Chinese, it's tidy over there. | ||
| You throw a wrapper on the ground, then you disappear. | ||
| I mean, it works! | ||
| It does work in that way. | ||
| Yeah, it works in that way. | ||
| It's just not good for innovation. | ||
| It's not good for creativity. | ||
| It's immoral. | ||
| You gotta have wild people that do wild shit, and those crazy fucks, they create fun things. | ||
| They create fun times, fun experiences. | ||
| You have to have a world where you have the freedom to create a Joey Diaz. | ||
| You can't create a Joey Diaz in China. | ||
| They would've killed him when he was like 20. He would've never made it. | ||
| Or they would've made him emperor, because they would've just been like, I gotta hear this guy tell a story. | ||
| He could gather a crowd. | ||
| I mean, he could be dictator. | ||
| You know, he started doing stand-up in prison. | ||
| They would have a bad movie that would play, and they would say, Coco, get up there! | ||
| And he would just go up there and start telling stories. | ||
| And that's literally how he started thinking about doing stand-up professionally. | ||
| He's made for it with that voice. | ||
| He's just made for talking and entertaining. | ||
| He's the greatest. | ||
| He's the most entertaining person I've ever met in my life. | ||
| He's just great. | ||
| There's a lot of great comedians out there, and I don't think Joey's the best joke writer, but I think he's the funniest person. | ||
| He's the funniest person that's ever lived, that I've ever met. | ||
| Some people are just inherently funny. | ||
| It's like their vehicle is funny. | ||
| They're funny. | ||
| He's just one of those guys. | ||
| He's just a funny dude. | ||
| It's a human cartoon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's wise. | ||
| He's a wise guy, man. | ||
| He's a wise man. | ||
| You talk to him. | ||
| Joey Diaz thinks about things that are very wise. | ||
| There's a reason why he doesn't want a text message. | ||
| He goes, I'm insecure. | ||
| I want to talk to you. | ||
| I want you to know I love you. | ||
| When I call you up, I want to hear your voice. | ||
| I want to say some nice things to you. | ||
| I want you to say some nice things to me. | ||
| We'll talk. | ||
| It's like that's wise because text messages are very impersonal. | ||
| It's funny that I can just picture him actually answering the phone for like credit, like when you get, because there's a lot of spam calls now when you give your number at like Banana Republic to get 10% off. | ||
| No, you can't call him like that. | ||
| I fall for every trick of that. | ||
| He's got the blocker on. | ||
| It'll go straight to the voicemail. | ||
| Because I just picture him going, making him have a conversation with him. | ||
| He doesn't want to talk to mutts. | ||
| He doesn't want to talk to just any schmo, but he, when you're his friend, you're his friend for life. | ||
| I'd do anything for that guy. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| I'd do anything for him. | ||
| We need more wisdom, though. | ||
| You said he's wise. | ||
| Democracy, do you think at a certain point it just kind of eats itself? | ||
| The representatives become... | ||
| Things get so free, people get stupid and lazy, and then the representatives become an actual, accurate reflection of the people. | ||
| And then you start to think of people like Plato and the Republic, and you start to go, maybe we need a wise guy, somebody who's tested from when he's young. | ||
| You know, his piety is sort of investigated and somebody like that to lead us as opposed to someone who's elected because the way people are elected like you know because Benjamin Franklin once said why one of my favorite quotes from history is like they asked him why he never ran for president he said just wanting the job would be suspect enough you know it's sort of like it's a moral flaw to be ambitious if because power corrupts and so is there something to like a reluctant leader that We should have, you know? | ||
| Yeah, I think that's really the only type of person that would be really great at the job, was someone who did it reluctantly out of a feeling of service. | ||
| Like, they wanted to correct something that was wrong. | ||
| That's what the knuckleheads thought Trump was doing. | ||
| Like, that's why all that drain the swamp rhetoric worked, because people were like, yeah, he's gonna go in and clean it up. | ||
| All those people that have a rudimentary understanding of how politics works and how our system works and a representative democracy works. | ||
| They all thought that he was going to be the outsider that came in and cleaned everything up. | ||
| And to a certain extent, they were right. | ||
| I mean, it showed that a person can do that who is not a career politician and actually win if they have enough resources and enough charisma. | ||
| Enough of a lot of things a lot of pieces have to be in play a lot of people have to be fed up with the system That's currently in place and just disgusted with the lack of choices and the same Standard sort of politicians over and over again running into office, but he opened the door for someone who's maybe Of that cloth, but not a narcissist and not a crazy egomaniac. | ||
| But that's also one of the reasons why he was successful because they would say all these horrible things about him and he would just fucking just brush it off. | ||
| He never aged a minute. | ||
| No. | ||
| Every other president. | ||
| Biden has aged a thousand years in the first one year in office. | ||
| He looks like a walking dead man. | ||
| He looked like shit before he became president, but he looks way worse now. | ||
| I mean, he's mumbling. | ||
| He can't get through sentences. | ||
| They keep walking back what he's saying. | ||
| You ever seen those compilations where Biden is saying non-words? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It sounds like my 16-month-old daughter sometimes trying to get words out. | ||
| He's challenged. | ||
| There's real problems. | ||
| He's 80, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's close. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If he's not 80. I think he's 79 or 80, yeah. | ||
| But not Trump, man. | ||
| When he was in office, he never fucking aged. | ||
| And now he's doing these campaign speeches and he's funny. | ||
| Like he says funny shit. | ||
| Did you see what he said the other day about the climate? | ||
| He's always funny. | ||
| The John Kerry thing. | ||
| He goes, John Kerry's worried about the climate. | ||
| And he goes, the ocean's going to rise a half of an inch over the next 500 fucking years. | ||
| And it's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| I think I saw him working that bit out at LOL. I mean, he's a comic. | ||
| The dude's a comic. | ||
| He's got timing. | ||
| Pretty soon we're going to see him. | ||
| He's going to call you up and be like, Joe, can I work out? | ||
| I got a new 15 I'm about to tell my MAGA people. | ||
| If a comic ran for president, like... | ||
| Zelensky? | ||
| Yeah, in Ukraine, sure. | ||
| But if a comic ran for president in America, I think Schultz could pull it off. | ||
| I think Schultz could be president someday. | ||
| It would definitely be... | ||
| He definitely would release his presidency in clips. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| He'd do it on Instagram. | ||
| It would be short. | ||
| He would have it down to... | ||
| Turn your phone sideways. | ||
| Yeah, turn your phone sideways for a second. | ||
| This is why I'm running for president. | ||
| Citizens of America. | ||
| He'll have t-shirt guns and shit. | ||
| You could do anything with a t-shirt gun. | ||
| You ever see people at a basketball game when the t-shirt guns come out? | ||
| Isn't it wild that people care? | ||
| Dude, people will do it. | ||
| How many t-shirts do you need? | ||
| If we took t-shirt guns right now to the Ukraine war and just shot them off, the soldiers would stop fighting to try to get the t-shirts. | ||
| People do anything for a free t-shirt. | ||
| It is weird that that t-shirt gun's a thing. | ||
| It drives people. | ||
| They love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everyone's like, over here! | |
| It's fun! | ||
| It's also a numbers game, right? | ||
| If there's 15,000 people in a crowd and you're one of five people that catches a t-shirt, it's pretty sweet. | ||
| It is sweet. | ||
| You can be that one person. | ||
| What do you think if we started thinking outside the box, though, for president? | ||
| Because we're in a new era with a new level of technology that's changed the world so much. | ||
| Shouldn't we start thinking about... | ||
| Shouldn't the president be someone... | ||
| Who's a pro, who can like lead, like overlooked, but can lead like a conjoined twins? | ||
| Like we get like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like who knows how to, who better to teach us to get along than two people like trapped in the same body? | ||
| Have you ever seen that 60 Minutes where there's like those two sisters, they have one body and two heads? | ||
| You ever see Segura's bit on that? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| What does he say? | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| It's hilarious, but it's a Tom Segura bit. | ||
| You know, it's fucking... | ||
| He goes, I don't want to say it. | ||
| I feel bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I would go the other way and say those two girls can teach us how to get along, dude. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| But there's a lot of other things you have to be aware of. | ||
| It's like to be a real leader is almost impossible. | ||
| I think we need a council of elders, of wise people. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think the idea of running the government with one person is so preposterous. | ||
| Although it's obviously not one person. | ||
| They have a cabinet, they have a vice president, there's a law. | ||
| The legislative branches. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of checks and balances in place, but it's still, it's a popularity contest, and every four years, a person is new on the job, and they have the hardest job in the world, and they just started. | ||
| Well, this is the thing that, I mean, I can't imagine that it wasn't a factor that Biden is so incompetent That it led Putin to be more bold in his approach with Ukraine. | ||
| I can't imagine that the Afghanistan pullout, which was so disastrous and so poorly planned, and it looked so terrible on the world stage, I can't imagine that that didn't have an effect. | ||
| Well, there's one thing it does show and that it does throw a wrench in the whole Trump was a Russian asset thing. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because if he was a Russian asset, wouldn't the perfect time to invade have been when he was president? | ||
| Because he wouldn't put these harsh sanctions on. | ||
| He would sort of go easy on them. | ||
| So that theory is kind of thrown out the window. | ||
| Well, that theory has been disproven by facts. | ||
| If you look at how that whole propaganda stream was trumped up, no pun intended, that was designed by propagandists. | ||
| They were trying to promote a fake narrative that he was in cahoots with the Russians, that he was a Russian agent. | ||
| I mean, you heard that from all these idiots on TV. Over and over and over again. | ||
| And now that it's been proven to not be true, not only was it proven to not be true, but it was proven that the Hillary Clinton campaign was involved with that. | ||
| And that they had even hacked into the Trump servers. | ||
| They had hired people to hack into the servers. | ||
| And they were trying to push this narrative that he was in cahoots with Russia. | ||
| But I think they're all messy. | ||
| All these people that you deal with Russia, you deal with China, there's a deal here and a deal there, and there's money being passed around. | ||
| It's like, everyone's compromised at a certain point. | ||
| And I don't think you get to that position of power without being in some way compromised by your relationships. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, the whole Pete on the hooker thing was... | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| It was hilarious and far-fetched that that would be something they could blackmail him with. | ||
| Because Trump just seems like the type of guy that would be like, Yeah, I peed on a hooker. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's what I did. | ||
| Or they peed on him. | ||
| I forget what it was. | ||
| Or he peed on him and said, yeah, you should try it. | ||
| He would probably go, you should try it. | ||
| It's warm. | ||
| But isn't he like a germ freak? | ||
| They say he's a germ freak. | ||
| Yeah, he doesn't shake hands and things, yeah. | ||
| Oh, he shakes hands. | ||
| Oh, he does? | ||
| Yeah, he shook my hand. | ||
| By the way, he's got normal-sized hands. | ||
| He does have normal sense. | ||
| He's just a big dude. | ||
| I have pretty big hands. | ||
| You got paws. | ||
| His hands look normal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I know when a guy has a tiny hand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he has... | ||
| It's a normal hand. | ||
| Maybe he's just... | ||
| Because he's a big dude, right? | ||
| He's tall, so maybe they just look a little smaller. | ||
| Well, he's got a boxy suit on to hide his fat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so when you've got a boxy suit on, all your appendages look little. | ||
| They're hanging out in those big suits. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's why I always felt like Ice Cube, I feel like, always wore a big shirt because I think he had sort of a pudgy... | ||
| He was pudgy big. | ||
| Yeah, you know. | ||
| It makes you look less... | ||
| I mean, if you're wearing tight clothes and you've got a fat gut, it's not a good look. | ||
| Yeah, you've got to go black color. | ||
| That's what I'm doing right now. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it's like that was this narrative that they were shaming him for his little hands. | ||
| That's the weird thing about the left, too, is that you're not supposed to fat shame. | ||
| It's supposed to be body positivity. | ||
| You're not supposed to mock people for things that they can't control, unless... | ||
| They don't fit with your narrative. | ||
| Like, it was an opportunity to stand up to their own principles, and they violated it instantaneously. | ||
| They're like, look at his little hands. | ||
| Probably got a little dick. | ||
| That was the implication. | ||
| Little hands are a little dick, and that's why he wants to be a dictator. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They did the same thing to Huckabee Sanders. | ||
| They just ripped her apart. | ||
| What did they do? | ||
| Talking about her looks. | ||
| Oh, her looks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that was... | ||
| I mean, did they really... | ||
| I mean, Michelle Wolf had a funny, hilarious bit about her when she was doing the White House Correspondence speech. | ||
| Remember, she did stand-up, and Trump was mocking her, and all she said is something about her fucking smoky makeup. | ||
| She was just making fun of her makeup. | ||
| Yeah, it wasn't even that bad. | ||
| It wasn't that bad at all. | ||
| People did attack her looks, like, from the left. | ||
| Well, I mean, if you're- Part of us because they had eyes. | ||
| Yeah, like Jen Psaki. | ||
| She looks shrew. | ||
| She looks like someone who is like a teacher that you're like, oh, not this lady. | ||
| Like if you get a sub, a sub's two teachers, it's, oh, it's Mrs. Psaki. | ||
| Oh, great. | ||
| Imagine that gig. | ||
| What? | ||
| Being a fucking White House press secretary. | ||
| You just have to lie. | ||
| Yeah, Jen Psaki looks like the chick from The Big Lebowski. | ||
| Mr. Lebowski with the red haircut. | ||
| That was Julianne Moore in Big Lebowski. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Julianne Moore is way hotter. | ||
| I know, but the haircut and the red hair. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Julianne Moore was hot. | ||
| That's not hot. | ||
| You wouldn't throw one at, you know? | ||
| At Saki? | ||
| She's a Greek girl, too. | ||
| Imagine the conversations you'd have to have before you got in bed with her. | ||
| She'd have great stories. | ||
| She'd make some up. | ||
| You would have an argument with her, and she wouldn't even try to be accurate. | ||
| She would just try to dance around the truth. | ||
| We'll circle back to that. | ||
| But what I'm trying to say, what the president means is like, when they have those speeches, it's not about truth. | ||
| That's the most frustrating thing about that. | ||
| Like when Peter Doocy from Fox says, well, the president said this, and this is like, Well, I think you know, the president means this, and it's good for the world, and it's just bullshit. | ||
| And all they're trying to do is just make it sound good. | ||
| That's all those speeches are. | ||
| Just make it sound okay. | ||
| Make it sound good. | ||
| It's not about relaying information or facts or being accurate or transparent. | ||
| It's just about sounding good enough to get out of that with a win or at least a draw. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| They're like lawyers for the president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Worse. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Worse, because lawyers have to stick to facts. | ||
| Well, do they? | ||
| I mean, some things, they're quoting actual statistics and numbers. | ||
| I mean, they have dockets, right? | ||
| So they have rather evidence. | ||
| So they look at the evidence. | ||
| If the defense gets the evidence and the prosecution gets the evidence, you get to look at it. | ||
| That's not what the numbers are at all. | ||
| She can just lie. | ||
| She just bullshits about things. | ||
| She bullshits about so many different things that are not true. | ||
| She said that the vaccines were FDA approved, gold standard approved. | ||
| No, they're not. | ||
| They're not. | ||
| It's emergency use authorization. | ||
| This is a lie. | ||
| You're saying it on television. | ||
| Everybody knows this. | ||
| People are going to be able to look this up. | ||
| There's a lot of those things that she did. | ||
| It's just to make it sound good enough to get out of there with a W. Let me get out of there. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Bye. | ||
| No more questions. | ||
| I got out of this one. | ||
| I'm okay. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Johnny Cochran would be a good press secretary, though. | ||
| He'd be a very good press secretary. | ||
| I mean, I don't think he sticks to the truth. | ||
| You know, some lawyers do lie. | ||
| Of course they do. | ||
| Yeah, but the gloves did not fit. | ||
| So, that is evidence. | ||
| He put them on and he went, I could have done it. | ||
| He went like this and shoved his hand out wide. | ||
| Tight leather gloves. | ||
| That is a wild story. | ||
| I'll never forget the day me and my girlfriend were sitting in front of the television in 1994 and we were watching the verdict. | ||
| 94, 95, whatever it was. | ||
| Watching the verdict on television. | ||
| And when they said not guilty, she went like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| She was shocked. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's the moment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's the other guy? | ||
| What's this guy? | ||
| The white guy. | ||
| F.E. Bailey. | ||
| F.E. Bailey. | ||
| They all died of cancer, right? | ||
| Didn't they all die of cancer? | ||
| I think Johnny Cochran had like a brain tumor, I think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he dropped... | ||
| He was smooth, though. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| All those guys, man. | ||
| Imagine knowing you got that guy off when he cut his wife's head off with a fucking knife. | ||
| There's Kardashian. | ||
| That's the patriarch Kardashian. | ||
| That's the Cuba Gooding Jr. thing. | ||
| Cuba Gooding Jr. just kept getting in trouble. | ||
| Is he out of trouble now? | ||
| Is he okay? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He kept coming after Cuba Cunning Jr. What'd he do? | ||
| He was getting very drunk and very handsy, apparently. | ||
| At the very least. | ||
| There was a lot of accusations. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just tubes partying. | ||
| Like, way too hard, allegedly, in a very non-appropriate way. | ||
| In a very 1940s, 50s way, where you could get away with it when you're a star. | ||
| Probably deep into the 70s. | ||
| 70s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right. | |
| 80s. | ||
| Deep into like three years ago. | ||
| Like, you imagine being like a Humphrey Bogart type character in the old days when a movie star was a new thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you go back before Humphrey Bogart, I guess like, who's like the original movie star? | ||
| Was it Charlie Chaplin? | ||
| Like, who would be the first big movie star? | ||
| Buster Keaton? | ||
| They're definitely one of the first because they were still silent movies then, right? | ||
| Let's say Buster Keaton. | ||
| No one knew how to be a movie star. | ||
| And all of a sudden this guy was a movie star. | ||
| There's no data on how to do that, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like now you can look at Will Smith and go, okay, don't smack comics. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who knows how it's going to affect his career? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But it's probably not going to be good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You could see mistakes that famous people make and you go, oh, you don't want to do that. | ||
| You don't want to be Alec Baldwin. | ||
| You don't want to be this guy. | ||
| You don't want to be that guy. | ||
| And then you could kind of plan accordingly and learn from other people's mistakes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because just the unchecked ego with that amount of adulation and attention and worship, like people worship stars, big movie stars. | ||
| A guy like Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin or those early guys, they had no one to model in them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And yeah, when you're that revered, it's hard to get the truth. | ||
| Everyone's scared to tell you that's the problem with being king, right? | ||
| Everyone's like, yeah, whatever you say is true, boss. | ||
| Yeah, if you don't self-audit, if you don't look at your own bullshit, you have no way of knowing if you're that insulated from the rest of the world. | ||
| It's kind of fucking terrifying. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not a good position because it's a bad position for analyzing data. | ||
| And as a human being, you constantly analyze, how much am I lying to myself? | ||
| Am I bullshitting? | ||
| Are people bullshitting me? | ||
| Am I being rude and I think I'm justified, but other people think it's terrible? | ||
| Let me look at this. | ||
| I need to know where I'm coming from. | ||
| If you're that guy who shows up on the set and everyone's like, Mr. Smith, can I get you a water, Mr. Smith? | ||
| Here's the latest script. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| You look amazing. | ||
| Have you lost weight? | ||
| And they're just like, everyone's kissing your ass because they all want a promotion. | ||
| They all want to be working with you forever. | ||
| They're going to hitch their fucking caboose to your... | ||
| No, the caboose is the engine and the caboose. | ||
| Which one's the caboose? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The back? | |
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hitch your wagon. | ||
| I think it's hitch your wagon. | ||
| Hitch your wagon to the horse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, like, what is the front one called? | ||
| The engine? | ||
| What's the fucking... | ||
| What's the motor? | ||
| What's the front of the plane? | ||
| The front of the train, rather. | ||
| If it's a Tesla, it's a frunk. | ||
| They call it a frunk. | ||
| Front trunk. | ||
| Locomotive. | ||
| Locomotive. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I thought that was the whole thing. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| The whole thing's called train. | ||
| Oh, so the locomotive is the front part. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know that. | ||
| That's why the butt's a caboose. | ||
| But imagine if you're a person who's trying to hitch yourself to this rocket ship that is Elvis. | ||
| You'll just say whatever Elvis is like, I'm gonna go to my room and do these pills. | ||
| And you're like, that's good for you, boss. | ||
| Yeah, I would do the same thing if I was you. | ||
| I'm gonna go eat these 10 cheeseburgers. | ||
| That's great! | ||
| Bro, they gave Elvis a black belt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They gave Elvis a black belt and he used to do demonstrations in karate. | ||
| With the big collar on. | ||
| You ever see him do that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, they're amazing. | ||
| You've never seen the Elvis karate demonstrations? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, Giannis. | ||
| No. | ||
| You see, Elvis, in my opinion, there's a cautionary tale in Elvis because he was the legit first rock star. | ||
| The first rock star that was so big. | ||
| And he wasn't in a band either. | ||
| It was just Elvis, right? | ||
| So it wasn't like John and Ringo and George could sit around and go, hey, what the fuck are we doing? | ||
| And Paul McCartney chimes in and like, hey guys, we gotta do Acid. | ||
| And that's what they did. | ||
| They were like, we gotta find ourselves. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Our position, right? | ||
| And so they started talking to gurus and they started doing psychedelics. | ||
| I mean, that's the White Album. | ||
| That's a lot of their later work that got really weird and more artistic and Experimental. | ||
| That was based on their, you know, trying to expand their consciousness and deal with this insane level of fame that they were at. | ||
| But Elvis didn't have any of that. | ||
| He just had the pills. | ||
| He would just take those pills and do karate. | ||
| So he's doing karate and he did karate with the sunglasses on and he had the collared shirt on when he was doing karate. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| And they would do demonstrations. | ||
| Like, look at this. | ||
| He's poking the eyes. | ||
| Poking the neck. | ||
| And they would punch him, and he would just... | ||
| And so he would do this. | ||
| And he was trained by a legit guy, Ed Parker, who was like, look at that. | ||
| These are terrible kicks, bro. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| That's like me if I was fucking around, if I was drunk pretending I did no karate. | ||
| Nah, that would look better than that. | ||
| That would be like me doing it. | ||
| But it's like the difference between a legitimate black belt of 2022 and a legitimate black belt of 1971 is very different too. | ||
| The level of martial arts is much, much higher now. | ||
| But at the time, like, Ed Parker was the Don, and Elvis trained under Ed Parker. | ||
| And there's, like, these demonstrations where, like, three or four guys were, like, pressing on Elvis' neck, and he, like, walks towards them, and they all fall down to the ground, and it's crazy. | ||
| And he's sweaty because he's pilled up. | ||
| He's like, man, that was amazing, right? | ||
| That was amazing. | ||
| And they're all, like, falling down on the ground. | ||
| They weren't really... | ||
| No, but there's a lot of those. | ||
| Have you ever seen those? | ||
| You ever go to, like, McDojo, or what is it? | ||
| No, but I got a new rabbit hole to go down now. | ||
| McDojoLife. | ||
| Yeah, McDojoLife on Instagram. | ||
| McDojoLife on Instagram is this dude who puts up all of these fake martial arts videos. | ||
| All of his Instagram feed is just... | ||
| There's so many of them out there, man, where guys, like, pretend like they're gonna go attack you and just... | ||
| You do, like, your chi power and they fall to the ground. | ||
| But they're being serious. | ||
| Like, they really are pretending that it's really happening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Elvis was involved in that. | ||
| Power of belief, I guess, right? | ||
| Until you get in there with a wrestler who wants to shoot at the body, and then that just changes everything. | ||
| They change everything, really, because they just tackle you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, they just tackle it. | ||
| When you go like that, you get into your stance and all that shit, they just shoot. | ||
| Any real martial artist, a real Muay Thai guy would just kick your fucking legs out from under you and try to do that chi bullshit. | ||
| But there's a lot of people that believe that stuff. | ||
| They believe in that chi touch. | ||
| In that, you know, harnessing your inner energy. | ||
| I've had people have conversations with me about it. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You think that's real? | ||
| Why doesn't someone use it in the UFC? It'd be too dangerous. | ||
| It'd be too deadly. | ||
| Also, it's not something that you would do for entertainment purposes. | ||
| It's spiritual. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Show me one guy. | ||
| Show me one guy that can do that against a trained martial artist just to prove its efficacy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It doesn't exist. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because MMA is like the... | ||
| That's where the truth is told. | ||
| That's where the rubber hits the road. | ||
| That's where the rubber hits the road, as they say. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the real deal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you have an offer. | ||
| Come show it. | ||
| Show us how it works. | ||
| We found out everything about what was bullshit in martial arts in 1993 when Hoist Gracie, who weighed 175 pounds, strangled everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're like, oh, look at that. | ||
| He did fully clothed, too. | ||
| Yeah, wearing pajamas. | ||
| He wore his whole thing. | ||
| Fucked everybody up in a jujitsu kimono. | ||
| And when they could headbutt him, too, right? | ||
| They could poke him. | ||
| They could fucking pull his hair. | ||
| They could kick him in the nuts. | ||
| They could do whatever they wanted. | ||
| Against some guys who were probably taking roids, too. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| So many of them were taking boards. | ||
| And if you saw Hoist without a shirt on, he looked very fit, but he was thin. | ||
| He was 175 pounds. | ||
| So he's 20 pounds less than me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he's fighting against these giant dudes, like huge wrestlers and huge sumo guys and all these fucking karate guys, and he fucked everybody up. | ||
| And he preferred if you were on top of him in an advantageous position. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, go ahead. | |
| Take me down. | ||
| Yeah, that's where he did his best work. | ||
| You have no idea what's happening here. | ||
| And he used to take some headbutts, too. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| The chemo fight. | ||
| That was a crazy fight because that was a perfect example of a gigantic, roided-up dude. | ||
| And Hoist just fucking dragged him into deep water and eventually armbarred him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love the idea of that. | ||
| A dude who looks like he could be behind a counter of a guitar world could just fucking choke you out. | ||
| He looks like a chef. | ||
| Yeah, he just looks like... | ||
| Especially with the white outfit. | ||
| How would you like your steak cooked? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody looks more like a chef, though, than Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. | ||
| Every time I see a clip of their videos, if you put it on mute, it just looks like two chefs talking shop. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Those dudes got chef faces. | ||
| Yeah, Bert has that chef who likes to party look. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just imagine he has Crocs on when I see him. | ||
| I bet he does. | ||
| Well, he definitely has flip-flops on. | ||
| For sure, flip-flops, yeah. | ||
| He wears flip-flops in the winter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He could be fucking Wisconsin in the winter and Burt's out there with flip-flops on. | ||
| People from Florida take Florida with him. | ||
| Florida. | ||
| He's a different kind of dude, man. | ||
| He's just built different. | ||
| I've never seen a man drink as much as Burt on a regular basis. | ||
| Tom and I were actually having a conversation about it a couple days ago because I was a little worried. | ||
| Because I'm watching these clips of Bert and I'm like, how big is he now? | ||
| And he's like, he's 260. He goes, he comes over to my house. | ||
| We're going to do a podcast. | ||
| Because they do a podcast and Tom has a studio out here in Austin. | ||
| So Bert flies in. | ||
| They do Two Bears, One Cave. | ||
| They do it. | ||
| I think he flies in once a month and they film like four or five of them. | ||
| He goes, Bert stays in my house. | ||
| He goes, 10 o'clock in the morning, he starts drinking. | ||
| He wakes up and he's doing shots. | ||
| He goes, he's drinking. | ||
| He's making margaritas. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| He goes, he's drinking. | ||
| He was drinking all day. | ||
| He eats like a maniac. | ||
| He goes, I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| He goes, there's no restraint. | ||
| He has no restraint in like what he eats and what he wants to eat. | ||
| He just shoves it all in his mouth and he tries to work out and work it off as much as he can. | ||
| But he's a fucking animal. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| For a guy, if that's what he consumes, he looks pretty good. | ||
| No one else can do it. | ||
| Whatever his furnace is, play this. | ||
| What is he saying? | ||
| What is on his head? | ||
| Oh, that's on the TV. Play it anyway. | ||
| We'll give him some promotion. | ||
| ...a comedy, what with violence and jokes. | ||
| I just want to make sure everyone knows that at my show, at the Greek in Los Angeles... | ||
| No, but he's the master of promotion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
...there will be no jokes made about anyone's family other than my own. | |
| Wait a minute, I got a great joke about your wife being a whore. | ||
| Well, let me hear it. | ||
| Hold on, she's not done. | ||
| Mark Norman will also be performing with me, May 5th, at the Greek. | ||
| You got that right. | ||
| It's a family affair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got a great joke about your wife being a whore. | |
| Look at that guy. | ||
| Oh, is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait a minute. | |
| I got a great joke about your wife being a whore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She blew me yesterday. | |
| Perfect. | ||
| I got a great joke about your wife being a whore. | ||
| They got Will Smith in a loop in the background smacking Chris Rock. - Yeah, that's right. | ||
| That's a great show. | ||
| Go to see it. | ||
| Yeah, those two dudes are beasts. | ||
| May 5th, the Greek in Los Angeles, California. | ||
| He's an animal, man. | ||
| He's a master of promoting shows, too. | ||
| Oh, he's dedicated. | ||
| He does drone footage and shit. | ||
| Takes off his shirt for every one of them. | ||
| I did his podcast recently, and I was staying at Whitney Cummings' house, and he gave me a seminar. | ||
| I was over there, and he was like, you know what would be great? | ||
| He's like, I'd love to see you. | ||
| Use her house when she's not there and then plug your dates. | ||
| He's like, get in her bed, get in her bathtub. | ||
| Bring your dogs in the bed with you? | ||
| Yeah, bring the dogs in. | ||
| Dude, I broke up a wicked dogfight at Whitney's house. | ||
| Oh, she's got those rescue dogs, man. | ||
| Dude, it was bloody. | ||
| If I wasn't there, it would have been bad. | ||
| Well, she gets bit sometimes herself. | ||
| She got her ear bitten off. | ||
| She's gotten a lot. | ||
| Yeah, she's got bites all over. | ||
| She had to get her ear put back on. | ||
| Whitney did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Dog bit her fucking ear off. | ||
| Yeah, she's dedicated to those dogs. | ||
| She gets these rescue dogs, and the dog didn't even mean to. | ||
| It just nipped at her a little bit like it would a dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, because a lot of them are not domesticated, really, that well. | ||
| Yeah, and just, you know, if dogs don't like each other, just it is what it is. | ||
| It's hard to make them like each other. | ||
| She gets a bunch of pit bulls, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I used to have pit bulls. | ||
| I love pit bulls. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| But they're not crazy about other dogs. | ||
| It's got to be. | ||
| They are not crazy. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not happy with other dogs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's bred. | |
| They're bred into them. | ||
| Especially if other dogs talk shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like Mike Tyson in his prime. | ||
| Like, what the fuck did you just say? | ||
| Like, they're ready to go to the death. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, right away. | ||
| And little dogs always talk shit because that's what they got. | ||
| Because I feel bad for little dogs that we bred them that little. | ||
| It's like, that thing is still a wolf and has no idea how small it is. | ||
| And it sees another dog and it just wants to go. | ||
| And they're also a little insecure. | ||
| They're like the Joe Pesci of dogs. | ||
| And then fucking... | ||
| The pits rip them up. | ||
| The pits is that they were bred for it. | ||
| They were literally bred for fighting. | ||
| So it's like there's genetics. | ||
| Genetics are interesting because I wonder how much of genetics are behavioral. | ||
| Because we think of genetics as only being like your physical characteristics and your tendency towards diseases and this and that. | ||
| Like, oh, your family's from Greece and these are the genetics. | ||
| But there's something that's passed on between parents that's mental. | ||
| Like, there's something about mindset and, like, dogs, for instance. | ||
| Somehow or another, dogs... | ||
| Like, you've met Marshall. | ||
| He was here today. | ||
| My dog. | ||
| Like, that dog, the genetics of that dog is, like, this loving family dog who's so kind and so obedient and listens. | ||
| Like, if I tell him, hey, man, come here. | ||
| Like, I could talk to him like a person. | ||
| Dude, do me a favor. | ||
| Sit down. | ||
| And he'll sit. | ||
| And I'll go, you're such a good boy. | ||
| And he'll start wagging his tail and he'll come over. | ||
| I'll just lie down, man. | ||
| I'm trying to do a show. | ||
| And he'll lie down. | ||
| And he'll just hang out. | ||
| You could talk to him. | ||
| But I've had other dogs who'd be like, fuck you. | ||
| I'm not doing that. | ||
| I'm a wolf. | ||
| I'm out here wandering. | ||
| You can't teach wolf shit. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| I had a friend who had a wolf. | ||
| He had three wolves as a pet. | ||
| He had wolf dogs. | ||
| They're like part dog, part wolf, but mostly wolf. | ||
| No, they're legal. | ||
| I don't think you can have a wolf dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you? | |
| He had them. | ||
| He had three of them. | ||
| I mean, this was... | ||
| Early 2000s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, you know, 2001, 2002. Okay, it was before Mito, so it was totally fine. | |
| But those dogs aren't... | ||
| They're not dogs, man. | ||
| They're wolves. | ||
| They don't listen to shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| I go, are they trained? | ||
| He goes, no. | ||
| Okay, it's illegal to own a pure wolf. | ||
| They're classified as an endangered and regulated species, while it's legal to own a 98... | ||
| 98%, 2% wolf-dog federally. | ||
| Many states, counties, and cities are outlawing all wolves and wolf-dogs. | ||
| Any wolf or wolf-dog found within these areas is immediately killed. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, they're, you know, they're wolf. | ||
| They got wolf in there. | ||
| Yeah, if you have a 98% wolf dog, you got a wolf, and that thing doesn't listen. | ||
| They don't listen. | ||
| And his dogs would get out, and one time they got out, and they went into... | ||
| He lived on a ranch, and they went into the neighbor's ranch and slaughtered, like, I don't know, seven or eight sheep. | ||
| Wolves be wolfing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| Dictators be dictator, and then wolves be wolfing. | ||
| They couldn't help themselves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that's what they do. | ||
| Like, some dogs like to chase a ball. | ||
| Wolves like to kill sheep. | ||
| They like to kill sheep. | ||
| They love it. | ||
| They are passionate about it. | ||
| They were covered in blood and they came back to his house. | ||
| He's like, oh fucking Christ. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you couldn't teach him shit. | ||
| But that was a good time for them. | ||
| He was all upset and they were like, what dude? | ||
| We were just partying. | ||
| We had a great time. | ||
| Party. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Party. | |
| It'd be like us swatting mosquitoes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just fun for them. | ||
| Normal. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| I can't believe sometimes when I look at like a chihuahua or whatever, I imagine that that thing shares Like, what is it, 98 or 99% of the same DNA as a wolf, that a wolf and that thing could fuck and make a dog is wild. | ||
| Well, if you look at a male feminist and realize their ancestors were probably Vikings. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| That's actually, that's a great analogy. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| That's what's happening to men in this country. | ||
| They're being converted into pugs. | ||
| Is that a bit? | ||
| No, but it's really what it is. | ||
| That's real funny, though. | ||
| Because they all used to be wolves. | ||
| Every dog used to be a wolf. | ||
| Well, dude, that's a great bit. | ||
| I'm just saying, that is a great bit. | ||
| But that is what's happening, if you see certain men. | ||
| And it's also happening because of plastics in the water. | ||
| I know Chris DeStefano was talking about this recently on his Instagram, but he was incorrect about it. | ||
| He was saying that it makes you have more of a chance of getting cancer. | ||
| It's not that. | ||
| He was talking about taints being smaller. | ||
| This is a woman named Dr. Shanna Swan, and what they found is that phthalates, which are a particular residue from plastics, it's a chemical that comes from all the petrochemical products that we use, plastics and things you microwave in and things you keep water in, they all leak phthalates. | ||
| And these phthalates, when applied to mammals, they've done these studies where they show that there's a direct correlation between Phthalates in their bloodstream and babies being born with smaller taints. | ||
| Is it true? | ||
| Yes, it is true. | ||
| So it's the distance between your dick and your asshole. | ||
| In males, in mammals, it's one of the best ways to recognize whether a mammal is a male or a female. | ||
| Because, you know, sometimes people see, like, hamsters or a puppy. | ||
| It's hard to tell if it's a boy or a girl. | ||
| You've got to look at it real close, especially if it's a furry one. | ||
| The best way to tell is the taints, because taints on males are 50 to 100 percent larger than taints on females. | ||
| But because of exposure to phthalates, the taints are growing smaller and smaller. | ||
| The penis sizes are growing smaller and smaller. | ||
| Testicle sizes are growing smaller and smaller. | ||
| Sperm counts are dropping. | ||
| Fertility rates are dropping rapidly. | ||
| And it all has to do with plastic, which is a part of the modern world. | ||
| So just like the modern world of throwing meat to these wolves and getting them closer to the campfire led to the domestication of the wolf, which led to them slowly getting turned into collies. | ||
| That's what's happening to humans. | ||
| We are literally not just because of our environment and our society and the cushy nature of our existence in 2022, but also the introduction of petrochemical products is a direct correlation. | ||
| And this woman, Dr. Shanna Swanch, has this book called Countdown. | ||
| It's fucking terrifying. | ||
| Because she's basically saying that this data wasn't even really uncovered until, was it like 2015, Jamie? | ||
| Yeah, it's new. | ||
| It's for sure new. | ||
| Very new. | ||
| This story I saw the other day. | ||
| Microplastics have been found in air, water, food, and now human blood. | ||
| Well, yeah, that's the phthalates. | ||
| And it's also plastics and also different pesticides and different farming chemicals. | ||
| Scientists tested the blood of 22 anonymous donors and found microplastics in 80% of them. | ||
| This is wild shit man because it's literally changing the hormonal profile and the reproductive systems of human beings and making us weaker. | ||
| Making us less masculine. | ||
| It's kind of pick your poison though, right? | ||
| Because like the modern world makes you live longer, but... | ||
| Sort of, but you live like a bitch. | ||
| You live like a bitch, yeah. | ||
| Previous research had found we inhale and ingest enough microplastic pieces of plastic to create a credit card each week. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| But until now, scientists didn't know whether those particles were entering the bloodstream. | ||
| Ingest enough microscopic pieces of plastic to create a credit card each week. | ||
| Holy fuck, man! | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| Holy fuck! | ||
| I clicked the thing, it says there's about 2,000 tiny pieces of plastic each week that equal the weight of a credit card. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| But where's it coming from? | ||
| It says, making their way into our food, drinking water, and even air. | ||
| But it says it's on CNN. They might be lying. | ||
| Do you shit it out or is it like becoming part of your body and is toxic? | ||
| No, it becomes a part of your blood. | ||
| It gets in your bloodstream. | ||
| Brutal. | ||
| Well, this is the awareness of microplastics and their impact of the environment is increasing. | ||
| This study has helped provide an accurate calculation of ingestion rates for the first time. | ||
| So pull up that woman's book, Dr. Shanna Swan. | ||
| I recommend everybody, if you don't want to buy her book or get her audio book, please at least listen to her on the podcast because it's fucking wild. | ||
| Because when she details the impact, the direct correlation between the invention of these petrochemical products and where we're at right now in terms of like sperm rates, taint sizes, testicle sizes, penis sizes, and with women, it's miscarriage rates and rates of fertility. | ||
| Everything is getting affected by these plastics. | ||
| To the point where she's like, you shouldn't use any of that stuff. | ||
| Don't drink out of plastic bottles, all that. | ||
| It's wild shit, man. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| It does make sense, but it's terrifying that we didn't know about it until seven years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it seems like capitalism pushes something forward because it's cheap and efficient, and it serves the bottom line, and then we find out about the consequences later. | ||
| The consequences are often inconvenient to the bottom line. | ||
| They try to suppress it for as long as possible. | ||
| Is there a way even to live without plastic in this age, without completely revamping the entire society? | ||
| That would probably take a hundred years. | ||
| Don't they do, like, recyclable plastic? | ||
| They know how to make plastic out of potatoes and things like that now. | ||
| I don't know if it's specifically potatoes, but sometimes you'll see, like, this plastic was made from something. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| It's egghead shit. | ||
| I don't know if they still use petrochemical products in making it out of potatoes. | ||
| I would imagine they do because they have machines. | ||
| Maybe it just doesn't get into the actual product, but I know they can make hemp plastic, and hemp plastic is actually biodegradable. | ||
| There's a lot of shit they can make off of hemp. | ||
| Hemp is an alien plant. | ||
| It probably just has to do with if it costs more or not, and plastic is probably the cheaper way. | ||
| Well, we've been doing it this way for so long. | ||
| When did they start using plastics for, like, food and containers and shit? | ||
| It was probably, like, the 1950s. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Good guess. | ||
| Yeah, when was, like... | ||
| That's when all, like... | ||
| I think styrofoam was a big thing in the 80s, and they were like, that shit's never going to end up out of the landfills. | ||
| We've got to stop using styrofoam. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, think about how many times you drank coffee out of a Styrofoam cup. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you have hot liquid in that cup, for sure, some of that plastic is getting into your body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Without a doubt. | |
| For sure. | ||
| Large scale plastic production began in the early 50s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| Good call, man. | ||
| I probably remembered it. | ||
| But from then to now, you're talking about 70-ish years, and in those 70-ish years, most of what we use needs plastic. | ||
| Everything has plastic on it. | ||
| Here's the did-you-know fact on it. | ||
| It's a lot of plastic. | ||
| Humanists have produced 18.2 trillion pounds of plastic, the equivalent of one billion elephants. | ||
| Since large-scale plastic production began in the early 1950s, nearly 80% of that plastic is now in landfills. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| By 2050, another 26.5 trillion pounds will be produced worldwide. | ||
| Plastic flowing in the world's oceans, rivers, and lakes will increase from 11 million metric tons in 2016 to 29 million metric tons Annually, in 2040, the equivalent of dumping 70 pounds of plastic waste along every foot of the world's coastline, according to the research from the Pew Charitable Trusts. | ||
| You can eat or breathe in about 2,000 tiny plastic particles each week. | ||
| My God. | ||
| Most are ingested from bottled water and tap water. | ||
| Whoa, tap water? | ||
| Why is tap water? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| But the crazy thing is this is radically affecting our biology, and we didn't even know about it. | ||
| When that lady was on this podcast, I read the synopsis of her book, and I was like, wow, that'd be interesting. | ||
| It was terrifying. | ||
| I thought what she was going to say was... | ||
| I had no idea it was going to be that nuts. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| And that it was about taints. | ||
| Your taint is a great measure of how much phthalates you came in contact with when you were in the womb. | ||
| If we keep going, will they collide? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it'll be a coical, like a duck. | |
| It'll be easier to fuck yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not good, but that's I mean if you look at all the shit that's going on today We're like we need to save the taints movement to get this awareness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I would like to look at Russian taints They're probably very long. | |
| So the more masculine you are, the bigger your taint, essentially. | ||
| I don't know if that's the case, but it's a direct relationship to the exposure of phthalates that it gets smaller. | ||
| I don't know if like you have a long, super long taint, it's like more masculine. | ||
| But on average, male mammals have a 50% to 100% larger taint than the female mammals. | ||
| Is there a correlation between dick size and masculinity? | ||
| I would imagine there has to be. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, we think of it that way, right? | ||
| You think of like a masculine man having a big dick, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just hoping there's not. | ||
| And the ancient Greeks, that doesn't say much about what they were doing. | ||
| Well, you know, you look at like the ancient Roman statues, they would make tiny dicks small on purpose because they felt like big dicks were like crude. | ||
| How did that happen? | ||
| Some little dick dude who made sculptures. | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| With a little charisma, you can get people to believe anything. | ||
| There was a Vice article recently about how little dicks are making a comeback. | ||
| What the fuck does that mean? | ||
| I'm on board. | ||
| According to who? | ||
| But that's another one of those clicky articles, those clickbait articles. | ||
| I think at this point it's safe to say there's too many journalists. | ||
| There's too many quote-unquote journalists. | ||
| Air quotes. | ||
| I saw this article about how some movie, what was it, the one with Sharon Stone, what was it, Basic Instinct, and it was an article now about how it was problematic back then, and you could just see the ratio in the comments. | ||
| People going like, shut the fuck up, like... | ||
| Maybe there's just too many of you guys at this point. | ||
| This is not a story. | ||
| It's not just journalists. | ||
| It's the journalists that also consider themselves activists, like they're shaping culture and society with their writing and musings, and that they're trying to push a narrative. | ||
| And that, you know, ultra-progressive, woke narrative. | ||
| They won't stop with it. | ||
| They won't. | ||
| I sent you that thing, Jamie, about the Will Smith thing that's in The Independent. | ||
| I sent it to you a text message. | ||
| You showed it before the pod, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Jimmy Dore sent this to me. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck are you even saying here? | ||
| It says, white outrage about Will Smith's slap is rooted in anti-blackness. | ||
| It's inequality in plain sight. | ||
| What? | ||
| And it's in The Guardian. | ||
| It's kind of depressing. | ||
| They just get sucked into wokeness, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's just kind of like... | ||
| Performative pearl clutching. | ||
| Hey, no. | ||
| That was violence. | ||
| If you think violence is cool, you need to tell me where that line ends. | ||
| Is it just slapping? | ||
| Can I kick someone in the face if I don't like what they say? | ||
| Where does that end? | ||
| You just knew that this incident that was between two guys... | ||
| Also, they happen to both be African American. | ||
| At some point, they would be articles blaming white supremacy. | ||
| You're like, dude, I'm almost impressed by the leap in logic where you're going like, dude, hats off. | ||
| Yeah, it's impressive. | ||
| That you're even going for it. | ||
| Well, it took a solid 48 hours for someone to concoct that. | ||
| Like, they had to sit there. | ||
| You ever see that fucking... | ||
| There's a meme of a woman. | ||
| There's all these, like, calculations in the background. | ||
| She's trying to, like, ponder something that doesn't make sense. | ||
| You seen those? | ||
| That's them sitting there, like, trying to figure out how to put this and make it white supremacy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's really... | |
| It's inequality in plain sight. | ||
| What the fuck are you saying? | ||
| The good thing about this is that it's getting so ridiculous now that I think a lot of people who are just like... | ||
| Casuals. | ||
| Casuals are starting to go like, alright, we're starting to see a lot of people's point that this is sort of... | ||
| It's out of control. | ||
| It's out of control. | ||
| Wouldn't you love it if we had that guy on the podcast with us? | ||
| Please map this out for us. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just you and me and that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I want to see your astounding logic. | ||
| Yeah, he'd be like, alright, alright. | ||
| Now you're going to have to use your imagination a little bit. | ||
| Pearl clutching. | ||
| Here's how it is. | ||
| Pearl clutching. | ||
| It happened in America. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's racism in the history of America. | ||
| It's rooted in racism. | ||
| America was founded on racism. | ||
| So if it happened in America and it's on television, which is racist. | ||
| Racist, yeah. | ||
| And the Academy Awards, which is Academy Oh So White. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Oscars Oh So White. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| I always find the people who are lying always say the most irrelevant things. | ||
| And that's how you know they're lying. | ||
| It's just a A bunch of irrelevant information around what's germane to what happened. | ||
| That's my bullshit detector. | ||
| I'm going like, you're speaking a lot about a lot of tangential irrelevant shit. | ||
| You're full of shit. | ||
| Well, it's like one of those charts where it's like you're trying to get to the center. | ||
| The center is white racism. | ||
| And you start off with here. | ||
| Black man slaps other black man over a joke about a woman. | ||
| Misogyny is rooted in white supremacy. | ||
| Okay, let's go to that. | ||
| Outrage is on television, which is racist. | ||
| It's all racism. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somehow it finds its way back to... | ||
| You can't? | ||
| Old reliable. | ||
| Yeah, you can't let people just go around slapping people. | ||
| Whether you think it's violence or not, it's violence. | ||
| It's violence. | ||
| It's violence. | ||
| It was violence that happened on TV. It was violent. | ||
| I think comedians should stop hosting the Oscars so they just tank. | ||
| Because it's the only redeemable quality about that circle jerk. | ||
| The only reason why anyone tunes in is to hear Ricky Gervais or whatever just, you know, bring it down to earth and have some fun with it because otherwise we're just sitting there watching the most boring, fake award show where studios pay for those awards. | ||
| Did they really win? | ||
| It's a matter of taste. | ||
| They don't even have a comedy category. | ||
| Go fuck yourself. | ||
| Yeah, go fuck yourself. | ||
| Well, can they even have a comedy category anymore? | ||
| We were talking about this the other day. | ||
| We were talking about all the great comedy movies, like Step Brothers and, you know, there's so many great movies. | ||
| Like, could you make that movie today? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You couldn't make The Office today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I've read articles about Friends being problematic. | ||
| I've read articles about everything being problematic. | ||
| You couldn't do anything today. | ||
| I think stand-up comedy and maybe even more so memes on the internet is the last bastion of comedy in this crazy era. | ||
| Because memes, one of the beautiful things about memes is they're not credited. | ||
| So you have no idea who made this hilarious meme and they just sent it out there and it's out there in the world. | ||
| Yeah, that's how you know you're living at a crazy time. | ||
| Like Mark Twain was not his real name, it was a pen name. | ||
| A lot of people back then had pen names because they were saying things that were sort of not accepted at the time and they didn't want the backlash. | ||
| And that was a time when there was slavery, which is as backwards as you can get. | ||
| We're getting into a backwards time now. | ||
| If you want to say something true or make a real joke, you're going to have to hide behind some sort of anonymity. | ||
| It's getting bad. | ||
| It's getting weird. | ||
| It is getting weird. | ||
| It's getting really weird. | ||
| It's getting weird, but there's a lot of pushback now. | ||
| Like you saw the pushback with Chappelle, where people are like, no, no, no, fuck you. | ||
| Because the difference between... | ||
| The Chappelle thing with his last special was the best example of it, in my opinion, because you saw the difference between the way critics rated his performance. | ||
| So when they had the critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes, it was like, everybody hated it. | ||
| It was like 3% on Rotten Tomatoes, and then the public rated it, and it was like 98%. | ||
| So I was like, okay, well obviously there's some sort of a divide. | ||
| There's a huge disconnect happening here. | ||
| Yeah, because the people that watched it loved it. | ||
| And the people that rated it, because they rated it for these publications that are essentially run by activists, they decided it didn't fit the narrative and they hated it and they said it was problematic. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| The disconnect is crazy. | ||
| Now, with like Leah Thomas, you see how the people are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Okay, this is getting crazy. | ||
| But the establishment is still going like, hey, this is fine. | ||
| This is great. | ||
| What if Leah Thomas is just going undercover? | ||
| Like 21 Jump Street. | ||
| To crack rokeness? | ||
| Or just doing some sort of gender research, or to crack... | ||
| Maybe it's like 21 Jump Street, she's going undercover as a woman. | ||
| Maybe there's some huge corruption going on in collegiate swimming, in female collegiate swimming, and she's just getting in there. | ||
| That would be good. | ||
| What it is now is not good. | ||
| What it is now is assault on women's sports. | ||
| And the idea that anybody would think it's fair that someone who is number 462 as a man, 462 in the nation, is number one as a woman a year later. | ||
| And that's fair. | ||
| You don't think maybe it was her passion for swimming that got her to number one? | ||
| Could be. | ||
| It's just an amazing moment. | ||
| Or a change in diet? | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Could be that. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Maybe just becoming her true self. | ||
| I can't think of any other factor it could be. | ||
| I'm just going passion for swimming. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| You're probably right. | ||
| But that might be the woke straw that breaks society's camel back. | ||
| You're starting to see a lot of those now. | ||
| Women are so frustrated. | ||
| Or parents. | ||
| If your daughter is competing, and they're competing against a trans woman, it's not fair. | ||
| It's just not fair, no matter what anybody says. | ||
| There's this nonsense idea of like, well, there's outliers. | ||
| There's outliers, and then there's biological males. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's beyond outliers. | ||
| There's always exceptions. | ||
| The ancient Greeks, you say there's no rule without an exception, but you can't define what it is based on the exceptions. | ||
| Well, it's interesting because in all other aspects of society, it's pretty much a given that, you know, a person can become trans and change their name, and we're all pretty accepting of it. | ||
| Where people have the most pushback is in sports. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Athletic competition. | ||
| That's where the real pushback is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is not fair. | ||
| This is clearly not fair. | ||
| There's a reason why we have a distinction between men and women's sports. | ||
| And it's ironic because the people on that side usually always champion equality and Nobody having an advantage, and the people who are maybe disenfranchised or less capable should have an equal opportunity, and by throwing someone like Leah Thomas in there, you're kind of... | ||
| That's the opposite of that. | ||
| I think it's also probably terrible for the whole trans movement because it makes people more cynical about what the positive aspects of it are and it makes people more, you know, less likely to accept it because they think of, now they think of trans people and trans rights and they connect it to this athletic thing. | ||
| That's a great point. | ||
| Yeah, that's a, yeah. | ||
| It's probably making people more just trustful or more upset or less accepting. | ||
| People just go too extreme. | ||
| I mean, it's just such an obvious thing. | ||
| The advantage that anyone who's born biologically male, especially someone who transitions after puberty, I mean, it's so obvious. | ||
| Otherwise, you would see a bunch of trans men, you know, women transitioning into men competing on a Division I level or in the NBA or NFL, which you'll never see. | ||
| And we all know why you'll never see that. | ||
| It's because men are bigger and stronger. | ||
| So why does that rule apply to To trans men and not to trans women. | ||
| It's the same. | ||
| It's their biological men by nature, bigger, stronger, faster. | ||
| There will never be a trans man that will beat Odell Beckham Jr. in a route race. | ||
| Not only that, you can't compete as a trans man because you can't compete if you're taking exogenous testosterone. | ||
| They test you for that stuff. | ||
| They do these carbon isotope tests where they can test to see if you're taking... | ||
| Because testosterone, if you're taking it synthetically, it's actually made out from wild yams, believe it or not. | ||
| Yeah, that's how they synthesize artificial or exogenous testosterone. | ||
| It's not artificial, it's real. | ||
| It's just synthetic. | ||
| So they wouldn't even let them compete? | ||
| No, you can't compete if you take testosterone. | ||
| That's why men, they used to have exemptions in the UFC for men to take testosterone if you had low testosterone. | ||
| It was a testosterone use exemption. | ||
| But the TRT problem was that guys were taking enormous amounts of it and they were fucking men up. | ||
| There's a direct correlation between the amount of testosterone you have, physical performance, your ability to recover quicker, and also aggression and confidence. | ||
| These guys were getting juiced to the tits and go out there and fuck people up. | ||
| And so then they came along and they regulated it and they said no more testosterone replacement. | ||
| And so then you saw these guys' physiques melt. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| And this is when USADA came along. | ||
| USADA came along and started testing everybody. | ||
| First they abandoned the TRT. They wouldn't let people have exemptions. | ||
| And then once they did that, then USADA came along and started testing everybody for everything. | ||
| And then physiques just melted. | ||
| Well, I don't think you should be allowed. | ||
| I guess that's... | ||
| Great for guys, but I think they should allow trans men to try to compete. | ||
| Because that'll be just hilarious. | ||
| The problem is, what if a trans man just decides to juice up like a fucking werewolf? | ||
| God bless her and him. | ||
| I mean, if there is a trans man who can compete in the NBA or NFL, I'm rooting for him. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| I'm rooting for him. | ||
| Imagine if you got a female WNBA player and you taught her martial arts and juiced her up and had her fuck Francis Ngannou up. | ||
| I want to see it. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| I can't imagine. | ||
| It's 2022. There's a lot that I can't imagine. | ||
| Their clits grow. | ||
| You know that, right? | ||
| They grow like a little dick. | ||
| I'm listening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you take a lot of testosterone and you're a female, your clitoris grows. | ||
| Easier to find. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| More meat to suck on? | ||
| Yeah, but would you be cool with sucking on a thumb-sized clit? | ||
| I got no problem with it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, I got no problem with it. | ||
| I'm Greek. | ||
| I'm halfway there. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm not gay, but if I went to prison, I'm pretty good at it. | |
| You're open. | ||
| You're open-minded. | ||
| It's in the DNA. No, yeah, I mean, I got no problem with that. | ||
| So if you took massive amounts for a long period of time, which the thing is, they do have examples of that with female bodybuilders. | ||
| Female bodybuilders, and it wrecks their body. | ||
| They get ovarian cysts and all sorts of real problems, and they have to take DHT blockers. | ||
| It's horrible for them. | ||
| At the very least, we can all admit that modernity has kind of created a lot of gray zones in sports because of supplements. | ||
| So it is... | ||
| There are things to address, right? | ||
| Regardless of the trans issue. | ||
| It's kind of like what people are taking, what they're not taking, and what's fair and not fair. | ||
| That's why this exists in the first place, right? | ||
| Because there is no real balanced playing field because not everybody starts out the same way genetically. | ||
| Some people are just born better athletes than others. | ||
| Some people are born taller. | ||
| Some people are born they can run faster. | ||
| Some people are born physically stronger. | ||
| And then you have to take into consideration where did you grow up? | ||
| Like, do you have access to better food? | ||
| Do you have access to better coaching? | ||
| Do you have access to better recovery methods? | ||
| When you start competing and then you have... | ||
| If you've got money, then you have access to all sorts of things that you can afford if you're poor. | ||
| Like, is that... | ||
| How much of an advantage is it to have great vitamin supplementation and great food and, you know, recovery methods and... | ||
| Regular massage and all these different things that people that are elite athletes have access to. | ||
| So what would you propose as a good way to regulate it? | ||
| For trans people? | ||
| Or athletics? | ||
| Just taking trans people out of the equation, just athletics. | ||
| How would you regulate everyone's levels? | ||
| What would you make it legal or legal? | ||
| I think that the real problem is going to come along when gene therapy gets introduced to athletes, and it's probably already been introduced on a foreign level. | ||
| In other countries where it's not regulated the way we regulate things here, I guarantee you they're experimenting with gene therapy on a variety of athletes. | ||
| I could guarantee it. | ||
| I guarantee they're doing that. | ||
| And when they start doing that, and there's things that they are capable of doing, like there's some examples like... | ||
| There's gene editing that would make you have... | ||
| There's a thing called myostatin inhibitors. | ||
| And myostatin is what regulates the muscle size of the body. | ||
| And once they introduce myostatin inhibitors into the genetics of athletes, you're going to get supercharged athletes who are built like the Hulk. | ||
| Have you ever seen those cows that have a gene error and it's a myostatin inhibitor that's in their genetics and they have enormous muscles? | ||
| Because their muscles don't get the signal to stop growing at a specific point. | ||
| They just keep growing. | ||
| The best example is whippets. | ||
| You know that dog, a whippet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're like a real thin dog, right? | ||
| Well, in a small percentage of Whippets, they're born with this unusual gene that doesn't regulate myostatin. | ||
| And so myostatin, this myostatin inhibitor that they have as a gene allows them to grow like that. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, so they like have, you know, I don't know, four or five times the fucking muscle? | ||
| That's in a cow. | ||
| So see if you can get an article that explains what that was. | ||
| So that's a real cow. | ||
| It's a female cow with massive muscles. | ||
| And that's myostatins. | ||
| Okay, so here it goes, myostatins. | ||
| What do they mean for your herd? | ||
| Let's see what it says there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But this is a thing they think they're going to be able to do with humans, and there have been some humans that were born with this very rare genetic disorder. | ||
| Okay, the most obvious departure from normal in the phenotype of a double-muscled animal is the enlargement of the muscle, particularly in the rump or shoulder areas. | ||
| Okay, myostatin is a gene mutation that results in unregulated muscle growth or double-muscling most commonly seen in beef breeds such as British Blue and Limousine. | ||
| There are nine variants of the mutation that occur in differing levels of different breeds. | ||
| So this is with cows. | ||
| But they have observed it in certain humans, like certain humans where we're born. | ||
| Increased susceptibility to respiratory disease, probably due to increased demands on aerobic metabolic activity, increased meat tenderness and yield. | ||
| These mutations do not operate in isolation, but interact with other genes in ways that are, as yet, poorly understood. | ||
| It is often the case that one copy of the variant, while increasing muscle mass, may not bring with it any of the negative side effects mentioned above. | ||
| If they can introduce that into a large population of wrestlers, I mean, whatever country has that would dominate wrestling. | ||
| If they had great technique and elite athletes, like great genetics, and then they introduced this, and they just had unregulated muscle growth, so they were far stronger than anyone else, far more athletic, far more explosive, literally the Hulk. | ||
| You can make Hulk people. | ||
| They would be built like the Hulk and the Avengers. | ||
| And then maybe AI may play a role in the future too, right? | ||
| I mean, imagine if the Neuralink goes in your brain and then you can telepathically know what the Defender is and then you've got to turn off your Neuralink and you go, ah, that guy was secretly using his Neuralink or whatever. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| It's going to get wild. | ||
| Or you could also maybe download every wrestling move that was ever invented. | ||
| And instead of training and, you know, doing it for years and years and breaking it down, you know, so that it's a part of your instincts, you could get it so that it's literally dialed into your neurosystem from a download. | ||
| The future is... | ||
| Wild. | ||
| Wild! | ||
| Wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, we are cave people. | ||
| We just don't know it. | ||
| We're literally Neanderthals. | ||
| We're just primitive man. | ||
| We just think we're advanced because we have cell phones. | ||
| But we are still trapped in this monkey body. | ||
| This biologically similar monkey body to people who lived 10,000 years ago. | ||
| But 10,000 years from now, I think this body is going to be unrecognizable. | ||
| I think we are going to be freaks. | ||
| I think this... | ||
| Because you're not going to stop people from doing this in other countries. | ||
| And if we want to compete with them, if there's an athletic proving ground like the Olympics where countries are going to send their best and their brightest to compete against other countries to show... | ||
| National superiority, you're going to have people using these genetic editing tools and then everything else that gets invented that shows peak performance and shows that you can accelerate people past what the physical limitations of the normal human body are. | ||
| Could probably even be an advantage in comedy. | ||
| Oh fuck yeah. | ||
| Dudes are just downloading stuff. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you'd be smarter. | ||
| Like you'd know like what really triggers people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Once an AI comes along, they can write great jokes. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh god. | |
| We're fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| I don't want to follow that dude. | ||
| Is that robot there tonight? | ||
| I'm not coming down. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Like could an AI ever recreate a Mitch Hedberg? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Because Mitch Hedberg's jokes, like even on paper, they don't make sense. | ||
| They only make sense coming out of him. | ||
| I don't think AI will ever be able to be as creative as humans because AI will never be able to enjoy drugs. | ||
| Drugs attribute... | ||
| You can attribute a lot of creativity to drugs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I think so. | |
| Will AI be able to get high and just think about shit? | ||
| Maybe AI can figure out what is the pathway that is traveled on in order for a drug to work? | ||
| What is the thought process? | ||
| Because AI is basically psychopaths. | ||
| Kind of, right? | ||
| Because they don't have emotions. | ||
| They don't have emotions or anything. | ||
| They're basically psychopaths. | ||
| They'll be able to do everything well, but they won't have that little magic that comes from our vulnerability and our insecurities that makes great art. | ||
| The thing about people like us, we grew up without the internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, when we were kids, we didn't have an iPad. | ||
| We didn't have an iPhone. | ||
| When you went to school, you couldn't just Google the homework and Google the information and get the answers. | ||
| You had to read books. | ||
| You had to learn. | ||
| You had to talk to your friends. | ||
| You had to call them up. | ||
| I remember when they first came up with answering machines. | ||
| It was wild. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd call somebody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd leave a message. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you would come home. | ||
| You'd see that little red light flashing like, wow, somebody likes me. | ||
| You'd press a button. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Hey, Joe, it's Giannis. | ||
| You want to play later? | ||
| You get real disappointed if it was like, this is AT&T. You're like, I thought it was a friend. | ||
|
unidentified
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Fuck off. | |
| And then remember when you had caller ID? Oh, yeah. | ||
| Caller ID came on. | ||
| You knew who was calling. | ||
| Then you started not picking up. | ||
| This fucking guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what maybe when we first started isolating was caller ID. People started maybe starting to withdraw more and more and more. | ||
| Or you get to be more selective, not talk to idiots. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See someone calling, you're like, yikes. | ||
| There was something cool about not knowing who it was, though. | ||
| Like a little surprise. | ||
| You know what the cool thing was? | ||
| The risky thing. | ||
| When you're calling and you had the beep that would come in, hold on, someone else is calling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta take a chance. | ||
| Do you remember when you would, I don't know if you ever did this, but like if you were trying to get information from someone, you had someone on the phone with the three-way and they didn't know the other person was there? | ||
| People did that a lot. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and they were silently listening. | ||
| You could do that with three-way when you could, conference calling started. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's a sneaky move. | ||
| You did that? | ||
| I never did that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you do that? | |
| In high school, it happened. | ||
| Someone was talking shit about somebody? | ||
| Someone was talking shit. | ||
| Be like, I'm going to put you on the phone. | ||
| You were ganging up on somebody. | ||
| Be like, gotcha, bitch! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All that stuff. | ||
| And then I remember the first phone I had. | ||
| I had a phone in my car in the 80s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| You were making money like that in the 80s? | ||
| No, I barely could afford it. | ||
| I really shouldn't have had it. | ||
| But it did come into handy because I would get gigs. | ||
| Bill Blumenwright talks about it to this day. | ||
| Bill Blumenwright, who owns the Wiltern Theater in Boston. | ||
| I've known him forever. | ||
| And he goes, Back in the 80s, you were the first guy to have a phone. | ||
| I could call you up and get you gigs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because I'd be on the road if somebody canceled. | ||
| They got a flat tire. | ||
| They got in a car accident. | ||
| They couldn't make it. | ||
| He would be able to call me up and give me a gig. | ||
| And it happened multiple times. | ||
| Was it the size of a shoe? | ||
| It was connected to the car. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it was in the car. | ||
| It was sitting in between the seats. | ||
| And you pick it up and talk on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was the reception good and everything? | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Terrible. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It was super expensive too. | ||
| Like if you were roaming, like if you drove, still in Massachusetts, you drove to a different part of the state, you got hit with roaming charges. | ||
| It was like a buck a minute or something crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I remember those days when you couldn't call anyone in a different state because you'd get nailed in prices. | ||
| Well, you remember when you had long-distance rates? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You would call someone in New York if you were living in California. | ||
| It was like, you could only talk for so long because it was fucking expensive. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| If you had a family member who went to California and New York, you just hoped they were okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You couldn't call and check on them. | ||
| Unless you really loved somebody, you were going to check on them. | ||
| If you didn't, you were like, you know what? | ||
| You would actually monetize how much you cared about them to call California. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is checking up on them worth $3.99 a minute? | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Yeah, it's not. | ||
| Yeah, so you'd send them a letter. | ||
| Yeah, send a letter. | ||
| Are you good? | ||
| Are things good, son? | ||
| Which is still the most amazing bargain. | ||
| They can put a 25-cent stamp on whatever it was at the time, and you would send a letter across the whole country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Someone would deliver it for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bring it to a guy in New Hampshire. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That system was around for a while. | ||
| The post office is kind of fucking amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fact that that has existed for so long that you could just send things in the mail. | ||
| But now email is even more amazing. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| And what you're basically saying is that's going to happen in sports and everything else. | ||
| You're going to look at an athlete and be like, that dude's kind of like the post office now because this dude's got the neural link in. | ||
| He's taking this supplement and can't compete anymore. | ||
| Well, once genetic editing comes into place, there's going to be no more exceptions. | ||
| In the beginning, the problem is the haves and the have-nots would be further divided than they've ever been before. | ||
| And Elon was actually talking about this with the Neuralink. | ||
| He was saying that one of the problems is going to be that the access to information is going to be so incredible for someone who has the Neuralink in, That their bandwidth, their ability to be productive is going to be so much greater. | ||
| They're going to get so far ahead. | ||
| So if they're competing in business, if you're competing in anything that requires your intellectual capacity, it's going to be greatly expanded. | ||
| And so people that are kind of making their way up and can't afford a Neuralink, you're never going to be able to compete with these fucking... | ||
| Guys like Bill Gates, they're immediately going to get a hole drilled in their fucking head and get that stuck in there. | ||
| All these super competitive billionaire characters, they're going to accumulate insane amounts of wealth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So do you think, since it's going to be this sort of potpourri of different levels, maybe, just for the sake of argument, what if we let trans athletes compete? | ||
| Because then maybe nature kicks in and then women have to figure out a way to compete with the trans athletes. | ||
| Woman, and maybe they evolve. | ||
| Maybe that would force women's athletics into being watchable! | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| I'm joking. | ||
| But you don't want that, man. | ||
| I love female tennis. | ||
| You don't want women to become men. | ||
| You want, you know... | ||
| But, you know, whatever you want doesn't matter. | ||
| We're on a path and it's not a path that cares about our sensibilities or our hopes for the future. | ||
| It's a path that seems obsessed with technological innovation. | ||
| You know, that's the thing that like you're not going to avoid that, man. | ||
| Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Like, if you can't avoid it anyway, why not let it happen and then see how humans evolve? | ||
| Maybe that will be the impetus for women to become... | ||
| Like, imagine beating... | ||
| Imagine being the woman who, like, legitimately beats... | ||
| A trans woman? | ||
| A trans woman who was... | ||
| And I'll be specific with Leah Thomas because I think it's relevant... | ||
| She was a male swimmer a year ago. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's real. | ||
| I mean, that is different. | ||
| You have to admit, like, that is different from competing against somebody who transitioned prepubescent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All those factors. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Yeah, that's different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine being a woman who finally, you know, and now she has a target to get better at. | ||
| Like, you know, a lot of times if you don't have, you know, the competition breeds the evolution. | ||
| It breeds the... | ||
| The motivation to want to... | ||
| Yeah, but what if that motivation is a woman has to turn into a man, or has to adopt many of the characteristics of a man, or has to accept some sort of genetic editing, some sort of genetic editing that allows her to keep her double X chromosomes, but has the physical capacity of a XY, of a male. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, maybe they'll be more chill to watch TV with, you know? | |
| Maybe they'll be more chill to hang out with. | ||
| Maybe they won't want to just watch murder mysteries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, maybe Bravo won't be fucking on as much. | |
| I wonder if anybody's in a study. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Her last race, she got eighth. | ||
| Of course she did. | ||
| But there was another transgender racer that got fifth. | ||
| Which is hilarious. | ||
| But when she got eighth, I mean, how many times has she been like, listen, maybe I'll fucking sandbag this one. | ||
| It doesn't make sense otherwise. | ||
| Maybe I need to slow it down a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, she won when it mattered, but then in some other race, she was like, I'll come in eighth. | ||
| How come you haven't heard of the other one, though? | ||
| But she's breaking records. | ||
| It's not just that she's winning. | ||
| She's breaking records. | ||
| And she's breaking records as a biological male who allegedly still has a penis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which means there's some level of testosterone. | ||
| It's also that there's a guy, DerekMorePlatesMoreDates.com, who's got a YouTube video, who breaks down what the thresholds are for a trans athlete versus for a biological female. | ||
| And the testosterone thresholds for a trans athlete, I believe, are quite a bit higher than they are for the average biological female. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a lot of weird shit to it, but man... | ||
| I think where this is all going, unfortunately, is cyborgs. | ||
| I think we're going to be cyborgs. | ||
| And I think we're going to be cyborgs quicker than we think. | ||
| I think it's going to happen very fast because I think if you look at the adoption of phones, like how quickly we adopted it. | ||
| From 2007? | ||
| 7 was the year where the iPhone came out. | ||
| And if you go before that, the amount of phone use, cell phone use from 2000 to 2007 was steady increasing. | ||
| But then iPhones came along. | ||
| Now everybody has a fucking cell phone. | ||
| Virtually everybody you meet. | ||
| 99% of the people you meet have a phone. | ||
| And that was unthought of when I was a child, that everybody would have a phone they carry with them everywhere they go. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| So inside my lifetime, what it means to be a human being in the modern world has radically changed because of a very small device That fits right in your pocket. | ||
| It changes everything. | ||
| And this, somehow or another, so much power that you could use it all fucking day long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Recognizes your face to unlock itself, or your fingerprint. | ||
| How long before the next thing comes along that moves in a more, like, think about The human beings invented writing. | ||
| Then they invented the printing press. | ||
| Then they invented digital. | ||
| They invented the digital photography and the ability to publish online. | ||
| They invented video and film and video flying through the air and cell phone signals. | ||
| Like all these things are just radical changes in the ability to express yourself and the ability to access information. | ||
| Radical, radical changes. | ||
| The next thing that comes along, if it's Neuralink or Or if it's something similar, there's probably going to be a bunch of competing technologies, someone's going to figure out something that makes a super person. | ||
| And if that someone gets together with these biologists who work on these myostatin inhibitors, and they figure out how to gene edit so you can fucking live 500, 1000 years, and you've got some super intelligent Hulk creature What we used to think of as a human being. | ||
| This is all inside probability. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like those cows and the whippets, they're real things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The technology that exists, we already have technology that has allowed a person who's paralyzed from the neck down to use his mind to control a cursor. | ||
| And you know the first thing he said? | ||
| I want a beer. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| I saw that article, yeah. | ||
| So this guy, some crazy illness or something, right? | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| Yeah, he was paralyzed. | ||
| ALS? So can't move, but can use his mind to move around a cursor and request a beer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so we know that you can communicate rudimentarily with your mind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How long before you can do it person to person through some sort of a Bluetooth type deal where you and I, instead of like airdropping pictures to each other, you know, you can send me a photo of your dick and I'll be like, ah! | ||
| It's just probably what humans will do. | ||
| Or, you know, you could send a video that you watch, and I can watch it in my fucking head. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Straight from your head. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| That's coming, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, we think that's so crazy, but it's so crazy that you could get something on your phone where you can send me things like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's probably not that far away, man. | ||
| It's probably not that far away. | ||
| Maybe a decade, maybe two, maybe three, but that's going to be... | ||
| Like, that's nothing in the greater scheme of the world. | ||
| If you had a... | ||
| Say now. | ||
| You have to make a guess. | ||
| From now to 30 years from now, how wild are the changes going to be? | ||
| Are they going to be kind of sort of wild, interesting, not much different, or are they going to be just exponentially more spectacular? | ||
| They've got to be the latter. | ||
| It's going to be the latter. | ||
| I mean, because if you put it into context like you just did, from when you grew up to now, the growth is... | ||
| Extreme, so that obviously points to it's going to continue to be there. | ||
| It's not going to stop. | ||
| And we're obsessed with the newest stuff. | ||
| I have an iPhone 13 here. | ||
| It works great, but I can't wait for the iPhone 14. Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's not going to do anything any different. | ||
| I still have an iPhone 11. One of my other phones, an iPhone 11. It works great. | ||
| It works great. | ||
| I never had a problem with it. | ||
| I use it. | ||
| I make phone calls. | ||
| The pictures look great, but I would never buy one now. | ||
| I want a 14. Give me a 14. Capitalism motivates that, because it's like the new thing to make money, the new thing to make money. | ||
| And materialism, which is a weird fucking thing that human beings are attached to that other animals aren't. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, like my dog, you know, I have my daughter's dog with me right now for a little bit, who's like a little chihuahua, whippet mix, a little tiny fella, and they compete over toys. | ||
| Like, they steal toys from each other. | ||
| But I think there's a weird sort of jealousy that dogs have. | ||
| They get jealous of the other dogs getting pet. | ||
| They come over, they want to get pet too. | ||
| There's this weird thing. | ||
| But they don't accumulate stuff and say, I need more stuff. | ||
| We do that. | ||
| There's people out there that buy sneakers. | ||
| They can't stop buying sneakers. | ||
| They got closets full of sneakers, like Everlast. | ||
| He's got giant closet stacks and stacks. | ||
| Jamie's a fucking sneakerhead. | ||
| Don't they bury bones to come back and get him later though? | ||
| Dogs, no. | ||
| They try to eat the bones. | ||
| I thought that was like a thing from cartoons. | ||
| Get a real dog. | ||
| Stop listening to cartoons for dogs. | ||
| Dogs don't bury bones. | ||
| Dogs eat them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever see a dog bury a bone? | ||
| No. | ||
| They gnaw on them, yeah. | ||
| They bury stuff, though. | ||
| Maybe some dogs bury bones. | ||
| Some dogs may, but... | ||
| But if you give a dog a bone, they only bury it to eat it later. | ||
| They don't want to accumulate like a yard full of bones they could bring their buddies over and show them off. | ||
| Like, this is my fucking bone yard. | ||
| Nice collection, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| I got this one in the 70s when I first started collecting. | ||
| They resell them on a bone site for double the price, depending on the market. | ||
| It is a thing that they bury bones, but I think one of the reasons why they bury bones is because it makes them more edible. | ||
| That's why bears do it. | ||
| Bears bury bodies. | ||
| If a bear kills a moose, they bury the moose. | ||
| Smokes it like an Arab in the desert with fish? | ||
| Yeah, you make it rot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, because... | ||
| When you're an elk hunter and you hunt an animal and you shoot it and it goes down, sometimes they'll run and they'll run maybe even 100, 200 yards. | ||
| So one of the things you do is you wait. | ||
| If you shoot an animal, even if you know it's a very lethal hit, you allow that animal to expire. | ||
| You don't want to bump it, and what bumping it is is scaring it, and then it gets an adrenaline rush, and then it can keep running, and then maybe you won't find it. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Like, sometimes they can run a mile, when they would have just laid down and died right there. | ||
| But, you know, the biology of a wild animal that's constantly getting hunted by mountain lions and wolves, and, like, there is zero chance they're going to survive. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| A hundred percent chance they're getting eaten. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| Those fucking things are tough as shit. | ||
| So when they go down, you gotta wait. | ||
| And sometimes when you wait, like you might sit there for, like a smart hunter who's patient will sit there for a half hour, 45 minutes. | ||
| You know where they went. | ||
| You see a trail, there's a blood trail. | ||
| But you wait. | ||
| Let the animal peacefully expire. | ||
| Hopefully they're dead instantly, but sometimes they're not. | ||
| So you let the animal peacefully expire, and then you go there. | ||
| And when you go there, you're following a blood trail. | ||
| And sometimes you follow a blood trail and you find your animal and it's buried. | ||
| And you gotta get the fuck out of there. | ||
| Quick. | ||
| Because that means a grizzly bear has claimed your animal. | ||
| That means it went there when that thing went down. | ||
| And it probably ate some of it in just a few short minutes. | ||
| And then covered it. | ||
| Covered it with dirt. | ||
| Maybe not even eating it yet. | ||
| Maybe plan on eating it later. | ||
| And then they'll cover it with dirt. | ||
| And then they'll back up and watch it. | ||
| And whoever is trying to come get it. | ||
| And you stumble along, you think that's yours. | ||
| But that grizzly bear has different ideas and it weighs 900 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's just sitting there. | ||
| I mean, that's my fridge. | ||
| And that's the last day of your life. | ||
| So when you're a hunter, if you're hunting in places like Montana, Montana has a big grizzly bear population. | ||
| For sure, there's some other states that have grizzlies. | ||
| Wyoming has grizzlies. | ||
| They have a lot of grizzlies. | ||
| Colorado has... | ||
| There's some sightings of grizzlies in the San Juans. | ||
| In fact, my friend Adam Greentree had a video of what he is certain is a grizzly bear that he saw in Colorado. | ||
| He's like, there's isolated grizzly bears. | ||
| There's been sightings. | ||
| And they think that some of them make it in and then leave, but if you show up in Alaska, and you shoot a moose, and you get to the moose and it's buried, you're fucked. | ||
| Like, you're in a bad situation. | ||
| You gotta get out of there. | ||
| Wow, I didn't know any of this. | ||
| In Wyoming, you have to give the animal to the bear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If a bear finds your animal, like, if you have an elk tag in Wyoming, make sure this is true. | ||
| I don't want to be lying. | ||
| I think this is true. | ||
| If you kill an animal in Wyoming and it's claimed by a grizzly, I believe you are required to leave that animal with the grizzly. | ||
| I don't think you're even allowed to scare it off. | ||
| Because you could scare it off? | ||
| Or not. | ||
| Or not. | ||
| Or he says, fuck you. | ||
| Or you might have to kill the grizzly, and grizzlies are protected animals. | ||
| You can't hunt grizzly bears in the lower 48. You can hunt them in Alaska, but there's no place in the United States where you can hunt grizzly bears in the lower 48. Only in Alaska. | ||
| We're contributing to their demise, right, just by how much we keep populating and taking their... | ||
| Hunting grounds? | ||
| It's somewhat, for sure. | ||
| Wyoming has asked, but it's really, they were wiped out a long time ago. | ||
| Wyoming's asked the federal government to remove grizzly bears in and around Yellowstone National Park from protection under the Endangered Species Act, the request that approved Which, if approved, could allow the animals to be hunted? | ||
| The bears' recovery from as few as 136 animals when they were first protected as a threatened species in 1975 to more than 1,000 today is a success story the state argued in its petition. | ||
| So that's what they do is they get an animal that it gets to a point where it's no longer endangered and then they want to manage it. | ||
| And this is where it gets really sketchy with wildlife agencies and then environmental activists. | ||
| Because the environmental activists will sue to make sure that they don't put like a hunting season on grizzly bears. | ||
| But then there's people that are wildlife biologists that say, hey, we have too many bears. | ||
| We have a problem with too many bear interactions with humans. | ||
| We have a very low elk population now in these areas because there's so many bears that they're killing all the calves. | ||
| We have to manage the population or we're going to have trouble. | ||
| It's a smart, science-based approach to managing wildlife. | ||
| But managing wildlife means killing them. | ||
| That's what it means. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| So the idea of killing a grizzly bear is abhorrent to a lot of people in this country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they associate it with trophy killing. | ||
| Like, you're only killing this thing to stand over it like a great hunter. | ||
| Like, you're not even eating it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're not even eating it. | ||
| But it's also, you have to manage them. | ||
| Because if you don't manage them, if you're one of those guys that shoots a moose, and you walk up on that thing, and it's buried. | ||
| That is not your moose anymore. | ||
| It's not your moose. | ||
| See if you can find a video of a bear burrowing a moose. | ||
| Woman jailed for getting too close to grizzly bear at Yellowstone Park. | ||
| Yeah, that's different because Yellowstone Park, everything is protected. | ||
| All the animals are protected. | ||
| That's not even really the wild. | ||
| It really is a park. | ||
| Yellowstone Park is so bizarre. | ||
| It's such, it's a beautiful place. | ||
| Have you been? | ||
| I haven't been, but there's one species that's not protected. | ||
| That's Gabby Petito. | ||
| She was not protected in Yellowstone. | ||
| Oh, how dare you. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| I can't believe you went there. | ||
| A lot of people get killed in those. | ||
| I think it's just like, you know, people kill animals illegally. | ||
| Within 100 yards, though, is what the thing was. | ||
| They called it harassment. | ||
| She was taking photos of it. | ||
| Yeah, you're not allowed to do that in Yellowstone Park. | ||
| But see, Yellowstone Park is not really the wild. | ||
| Like, there's people driving through in cars. | ||
| It is the wild in that there's no one feeding these animals. | ||
| They're wild animals. | ||
| But they exist like no other wild animal. | ||
| Like, for instance, I took all these selfies with elk that were over by the visitor station. | ||
| I was in front of a fucking soda machine. | ||
| There was a soda machine that was buying a Diet Coke, and I took a selfie of a bunch of elk just standing behind me, which they don't do. | ||
| In the wild. | ||
| They only do when they're in civilization. | ||
| Like if you're in like Evergreen, Colorado, elk walk right down Main Street in the middle of all the cars. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| They have all these photos of these things because they know what civilization is. | ||
| And they know there's very few predators there and they know no one shoots them there. | ||
| So they figure that out. | ||
| So they'll go there. | ||
| So it's not totally wild. | ||
| It's like a weird... | ||
| Combination of wild and a park, like a pet, like a fucking zoo. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| They're not worried about you at all. | ||
| It's a crazy video of a bear joins a wolf pack, and the wolf pack hunts this animal, and the bear just steals it from him, and they let it happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smart. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Well, they don't got any say in the matter. | ||
| And they say they let him. | ||
| Yeah, how wild are wolves, man? | ||
| Do wolves ever win that battle though, just by tiring the bear out, just like nipping at him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wolves scare bears off sometimes, you know, especially if there's a lot of them and it becomes too uncomfortable for the bear. | ||
| But the thing about wolves is that they were almost completely eradicated from the United States until the 90s. | ||
| And then they brought wolves in over from Canada, which were bigger wolves. | ||
| They brought Canadian wolves. | ||
| Canadian wolves are generally... | ||
| There's a thing with mammals. | ||
| The colder the species is... | ||
| I forget what this is called. | ||
| See if you can Google what this is called. | ||
| But the colder it is in their habitat, the larger they are. | ||
| That's why polar bears are some of the biggest bears. | ||
| Kodiak brown bears are some of the biggest bears. | ||
| It's cold as fuck and there's a lot of food. | ||
| That combination is they develop the Big as fucking animals. | ||
| It's part of that because they need body mass. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's the thing with the mammals. | ||
| So like, for instance, like deer. | ||
| If you get a deer in Saskatchewan, like a big white-tailed deer, that's like 300 pounds. | ||
| A big white-tailed deer in Mexico or in Texas, a big white-tailed deer is like 150 pounds. | ||
| It's like half the size. | ||
| They're a totally different looking animal. | ||
| They're like big, bulky. | ||
| It's because of the cold. | ||
| And that's the same thing with the wolves. | ||
| Is it the same thing with Russians, too? | ||
| Because they're big fucking Russians. | ||
| I bet. | ||
| Vikings. | ||
| Yeah, Vikings, too. | ||
| Scandinavians. | ||
| Iceland, always winning the strongman competitions. | ||
| Yeah, these dudes are fucking big. | ||
| Giants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like the mountain. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Giant humans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| You've got to think those are the ones that survived that harsh climate. | ||
| They have to be hardy as fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Special people. | ||
| There's no term for it, but an article that's describing it mentions that while true with a lot of mammals, it's not necessarily true with turtles, snakes, lizards, reptiles. | ||
| There's somehow birds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's true with mammals for some reason. | ||
| And with some lizards, it's actually the opposite, which is weird because... | ||
| When you bring lizards to an island, unlike every other animal, every other animal when you bring them to a small area, they get smaller. | ||
| That's why we have pygmy elephants. | ||
| Pygmy elephants existed on an island. | ||
| Even probably pygmies, like people that are smaller people. | ||
| Like that Isle of Florensis that had that little hobbit person. | ||
| That's like a little island that dude was living on. | ||
| And a lot of animals when they live on islands are smaller, except reptiles. | ||
| Reptiles get bigger, like the Komodo dragons. | ||
| Komodo Island is not a big place. | ||
| It's not fucking Australia. | ||
| And these things are giant. | ||
| They're the biggest fucking lizards on Earth. | ||
| They live in this one place. | ||
| Do you think human is the same thing? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I made the joke about the Russians, but I noticed when I lived in Miami, I changed. | ||
| You just start dressing different. | ||
| The colors are lighter. | ||
| The buttons go down on your shirt more. | ||
| You want some air. | ||
| It's hot and fucking humid. | ||
| Yeah, and then you go back to New York. | ||
| Next thing you know, it's like sweatshirt. | ||
| And even your posture changes. | ||
| We really are. | ||
| We just adapt to our environments to some degree. | ||
| I wonder if that's true. | ||
| Like, what if that, like, warm, humid climates made people, like, more passionate and wanted to fuck more? | ||
| If you think about, like, the way you think about, like, Cuba, like, romance and just fucking manly men and womenly women, like, think about these hot, muggy places. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're filled with, like, a lot of machismo. | ||
| Yeah, they're warmer people, like they're more emotional than you go up north. | ||
| And they're very cold and stoic and everything's cerebral. | ||
| Russians, who's more fucking cold-blooded than them? | ||
| They are there. | ||
| Right? | ||
| The Mongols back when those days. | ||
| Yes, Scandinavians too, man. | ||
| I wonder, man. | ||
| I've done comedy in Scandinavia and they clap. | ||
| Haha, good joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good joke. | |
| Good joke. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| They're cerebral and they're inside most of the year. | ||
| Very little sunlight. | ||
| I think the environment has a giant play on a lot of the aspects of what makes a person a person. | ||
| That's why at the end of the day racism is kind of a stupid thing because homo sapiens sapiens They look different because of the environment. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's all the same shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's stupid. | ||
| If you lived in a certain area over a certain amount of time, you would look a certain way. | ||
| I mean, that's what it is. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the whole reason why we look different. | ||
| That's why we can have sex with each other and make babies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Other animals that look similar, they can't just fuck each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The diversity of human looks versus our actual appearance versus our actual genetics is so different. | ||
| We look like a different thing. | ||
| If you saw Shaquille O'Neal and Yeonmi Park, the lady who escaped North Korea, Who's one of the most frail people I've ever met in my life. | ||
| But brave as fuck. | ||
| Brave as fuck and an incredible story and a brilliant woman. | ||
| But when you shake her hand, it is like a small matchsticks. | ||
| She's so tiny. | ||
| And she didn't have any food when she was young. | ||
| All of her bones and everything, she's very slight. | ||
| And then you saw Shaquille O'Neal. | ||
| If you were from another planet and you had no idea what people are, this is your first introduction to humans, you would look at those two and go, oh, that's two different things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no way those two can have a baby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they can. | ||
| They can. | ||
| Somehow. | ||
| It would be fun to watch. | ||
| Those two? | ||
| Is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What kind of fit is that? | |
| Does he just plug her on and hold her? | ||
| Him and the gymnast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Small balls and shots. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| Like, how would he... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's an enormous human. | ||
| And he looks great, by the way. | ||
| Shaq has been on a diet, and he's been working out regularly, and we looked at pictures of him the other day. | ||
| He's got a six-pack now. | ||
| He's back, huh? | ||
| Dude, he looks fucking great. | ||
| Adjusted his diet, stopped eating bullshit, and just decided to get in shape. | ||
| He was a destroyer. | ||
| Oh my god, he's so big. | ||
| When he was playing, dude, he would just... | ||
| Guy that big with that speed and that power, that's never been seen before. | ||
| If he had decided to be a UFC fighter instead of a basketball player, he'd be the heavyweight champ in the world. | ||
| Except he's too big for the heavyweight division. | ||
| The heavyweight division has a cap of 265 pounds. | ||
| Shaq ain't making 265, bro. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| LeBron's barely making it. | ||
| Barely! | ||
| Barely. | ||
| Well, that's Ngannou. | ||
| Look at Ngannou. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the things about Ngannou is he's one of the rare heavyweights who's a natural 270, 280, and he cuts down to 265. You'd have to, like, invent someone to fight Shaq. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd have to, like, build someone. | ||
| Or, like, the mountain. | ||
| Like, if the mountain got into MMA. You know, like, if he got into that early instead of becoming a strongman. | ||
| He literally couldn't fight in the UFC. He's too big. | ||
| He's too big. | ||
| He's more than 350 pounds now, and he's lost 100 pounds. | ||
| Are they gonna ever create like a super heavyweight division for guys like that big? | ||
| There is a super heavyweight division, but it's never been utilized in the UFC because there's not enough athletes. | ||
| There's not enough guys, and you know, they want fights to be exciting. | ||
| And you know, the outliers like the Shaquille O'Neal's and the Thor's from Game of Thrones, those are the ones who throw that into, make it a problem. | ||
| Yeah, get that shit. | ||
| Because if the sport really did get to a point... | ||
| I know, it's incredible. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| Shaq was amazing. | ||
| 301 pounds with 10% body fat. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That is amazing. | ||
| Bro, if he... | ||
| And who knows? | ||
| He might get back down without weight again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the point is, he's not going to get 265. You're not going to ask a guy that's that lean and athletic to lose 35 pounds. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| It's too much weight. | ||
| But if they did get enough of those guys who really got into MMA, then you could see... | ||
| That would be the real heavyweight champion. | ||
| Because if you have a Shaquille O'Neal who's like 310 pounds, solid muscle, and is good at basketball... | ||
| That good at fighting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| How are you stopping that? | ||
| Nah, you can't. | ||
| It's too big. | ||
| Nah, you can't. | ||
| He's too big. | ||
| You need a grizzly bear to fight him, yeah. | ||
| You know, Shaq is a martial artist. | ||
| He's a trained martial artist. | ||
| He trains constantly. | ||
| There's all these videos of him hitting pads and grabbing guys in Muay Thai clinches and kneeing them in the body and kneeing the pads while they're holding the pads. | ||
| Dude, you do not want none of that. | ||
| Right, no. | ||
| None of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
None of that. | |
| There's no, maybe I could hit him first. | ||
| Uh-uh. | ||
| There's none of that. | ||
| Yeah, those guys are just genetic freaks. | ||
| I recently... | ||
| I had the opportunity to meet Gronk and Terrell Owens. | ||
| And... | ||
| The size of Gronk's hands. | ||
| I have a picture of it. | ||
| Dude, his hand looked like a catcher's mitt. | ||
| I mean, he's 6'6", 6'7", anyway. | ||
| But there's something about basketball and football players' hands. | ||
| It's like they have these little advantages. | ||
| My friend Marco is 6'8". | ||
| His hands are proportionate to his body, which are big. | ||
| But, I mean, Gronk's hands looked abnormally big. | ||
| And so did Terrell Owens' hands. | ||
| They looked like he was wearing a Halloween suit. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| Well, to be at the top of every sport, I think you need all sorts of things going on. | ||
| You need genetics. | ||
| You need great coaching. | ||
| You need mental fortitude. | ||
| You need willpower, determination, discipline. | ||
| You need all those things. | ||
| You can't have all those things but have little hands. | ||
| Like, you're never gonna beat those guys who were born with big hands. | ||
| Like, you need the whole fucking... | ||
| You need all the ingredients to make the perfect athlete soup. | ||
| But then you have those exceptions, like a Lawrence Taylor or even Charles Barkley, guys like that. | ||
| Like, Lawrence Taylor, there's stories about him where he would show up at the game. | ||
| He was a linebacker for the Giants and probably maybe the best linebacker of all time. | ||
| He would show up and be like, who are we playing? | ||
| Where am I? I mean, he was like smoking crack. | ||
| He was drunk. | ||
| I mean, he was like, he didn't train at all. | ||
| And then he went on the field and he just was like a guided missile of destruction. | ||
| Yeah, there's guys like that. | ||
| It's just insane. | ||
| Super athletes. | ||
| Super athletes. | ||
| They're super athletes. | ||
| Bo Jackson. | ||
| Bo Jackson's fucking... | ||
| Bo Jackson was a super athlete. | ||
| Who knows what changed about Bo Jackson's trajectory when he broke his hip? | ||
| Because he was so powerful, man. | ||
| He was so powerful, he blew his own body out with his own momentum, like his own power. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was just running. | |
| He got tackled weird. | ||
| No, he was running! | ||
| I think he was running, and the force of his running ripped something. | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| I think it was in the tackling. | ||
| I think as going down, his hip dislocated. | ||
| I'm pretty sure there's a video of it, right? | ||
| It's got, of course there is. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| Wow, look how shitty the TVs were back then. | ||
| That can't be it. | ||
| That's a VHS tape. | ||
| There was something about... | ||
| No, this is just footage of him, I think. | ||
| Oh, is this when it happened? | ||
| It says injury. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is it. | ||
| So right there. | ||
| It's when he goes down. | ||
| So right there when he went down. | ||
| Oh, it was a tackle. | ||
| Yeah, so in the going down, the way he fell, which didn't seem particularly brutal, which just shows you how brutal football is, because even regular tackles like that. | ||
| So on that one, there's something that happened to him. | ||
| That doesn't seem anything like it could have. | ||
| But I'm telling you, man, falling down is not good. | ||
| Falling down with another super athlete dragging you down as you're running full clip. | ||
| So whatever happened, he broke his hip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you're right. | |
| And then they replaced his hip and, you know, knocks a fucking home run with a bad hip, with a fake hip. | ||
| He was a great, good baseball player too. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| You know, he's a big-time bow hunter. | ||
| Is he now? | ||
| Yeah, he's very proficient, very good hunter. | ||
| And he's, I was, the last I heard, he has to switch to a crossbow because his shoulders are so fucked up, he can't pull his bow back anymore. | ||
| Football is rough, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, dude. | |
| The worst one. | ||
| I think football is the harshest. | ||
| It's like getting hit by a Mack truck. | ||
| And I have a show where we talk to athletes, and one of the questions I asked, like two of them, was like, is there a difference getting hit in the cold? | ||
| Because those guys play in the... | ||
| They say when you get hit in the cold, you can't explain to someone else what it feels like when you get hit in zero-degree weather in Green Bay. | ||
| First of all, the ground's hard. | ||
| Dude, the sting of it is just like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh! | |
| And the ground's hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The ground's frozen. | ||
| I mean, those guys can't walk for like two days after their game. | ||
| You think about it, you're basically playing on a block of ice. | ||
| Like, solid frozen ground in like Minnesota in the winter. | ||
| You know what that feels like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's concrete. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| So you're getting tackled under concrete. | ||
| Yeah, and you're getting hit by another guy. | ||
| Going, the speeds that they're going, the power, the force of it is getting hit. | ||
| It's like a car accident on your body. | ||
| It is kind of crazy that they are playing when it's frozen, when the ground's frozen. | ||
| That is so bad for you. | ||
|
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It's basically playing on cement. | |
| And a lot of times it's not even grass, it's like turf. | ||
| Which is terrible for you, right? | ||
| Did you see Deion Sanders? | ||
| Was it Deion Sanders? | ||
| How did he get his toes removed? | ||
|
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Did he? | |
| Yes, man. | ||
| He had turf toe that was so bad from his years of playing, his toes were all fucked up and broken and he had an operation on his toe to try to fix it. | ||
| And Deion Sanders reveals how he had two toes amputated following foot surgery complications. | ||
| So he had foot surgery, right? | ||
| So they removed his big toe and one other toe because it was just all fucked up and broken. | ||
| And they tried to straighten it out. | ||
| And when they tried to straighten it out, apparently there was some sort of a blood issue where it started to die. | ||
| His toe started to turn black and they noticed it. | ||
| And then they were worried they were going to have to amputate. | ||
| They were going to have to amputate his foot, maybe even his leg. | ||
| So they got away with just amputating those toes. | ||
| But they had to amputate his big toe and the next toe over. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| It got dark quick, it said. | ||
| It's very scary shit, man. | ||
|
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Damn! | |
| Because necrosis, when that happens, following an injury, following a surgery, it's very, very dangerous. | ||
| Because that's what leads to all sorts of stuff. | ||
| Like, you know, that kind of could lead to gangrene. | ||
| It could lead to those kind of diseases of, like, your body's not healing. | ||
| It's rotting. | ||
| And it's going to... | ||
| It spreads. | ||
| It could spread throughout your body, and you could lose your leg. | ||
| You could lose your life. | ||
| Like, they were just trying to save his life. | ||
| And he was really worried they were going to have to amputate his leg. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Staph infections work that way, right? | ||
| They just spread? | ||
| Staph infections are fucking terrifying. | ||
| And they can't do anything but amputate. | ||
| If it's too late, if they catch it too late, they have to amputate it. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| Well, you could just die. | ||
| People die from staph all the time. | ||
| Brian Callen knew this lady. | ||
| And her and her husband, they were into natural foods and shit and natural healing, that kind of stuff. | ||
| And so she gets a staph infection and she doesn't do shit about it. | ||
| She's trying to like take herbs and stuff. | ||
| And he goes over the house and he didn't know about this. | ||
| He goes over the house and he's like, what's wrong with her? | ||
| Her gums were bleeding. | ||
| He goes, what's wrong with her? | ||
| She's got a staph infection. | ||
| She's treating. | ||
| He's like, oh my God, get her to a fucking hospital. | ||
| They get her to a hospital, but apparently it was too late. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Ari Shafir and I were playing pool once. | ||
| We're playing pool. | ||
| I see Ari walking funny. | ||
| I go, why are you walking like that? | ||
| He goes, I got a spider bite. | ||
| We had been doing jujitsu. | ||
| I bought Ari a year of jujitsu as a Christmas gift. | ||
| Hanukkah, whatever. | ||
| So we go to the sidelines. | ||
| I go, pull your pants up. | ||
| Let me see your knee. | ||
| He shows me his knee. | ||
| I go, dude, that's a staph infection. | ||
| I go, you got to go to the hospital right now. | ||
| I unscrew my cue. | ||
| He goes, are you serious? | ||
| I go, we're going to the hospital right fucking now. | ||
| You got to get that... | ||
| He dealt with immediately. | ||
| You could die. | ||
| And he's like, why don't they fucking tell you about that? | ||
| I go, they should fucking tell you about that. | ||
| There should be giant signs, but they don't want to scare people off. | ||
| They want to have signs like, this is staph. | ||
| If you see this, go to a doctor immediately. | ||
| You need antibiotics, maybe even IV antibiotics. | ||
| So he got bit by a spider? | ||
| No, no, it wasn't a spider bite. | ||
| It was just a staph infection. | ||
| He thought it was a spider bite. | ||
| How did he get the staph? | ||
| Jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You get scraped and it's like a common thing. | ||
| There's certain gyms that are known for it. | ||
| At one point in time in the Henzo Gracie School, which is one of the best jujitsu clubs on the planet that's in New York City, they were in the basement and the basement doesn't get any sunlight and a bunch of people were getting staph infections. | ||
| And they couldn't eradicate it. | ||
| They're cleaning the mats. | ||
| They're still getting staff. | ||
| Sometimes it happens in gyms. | ||
| A bunch of people get it and it spreads through. | ||
| And they can fuck you up, man. | ||
| So if you didn't catch that on Ari, he would have been fucking dead. | ||
| Yeah, he would have been dead. | ||
| If he just kept going. | ||
| I mean, I would assume eventually he would have gone to a hospital if he couldn't walk anymore and his whole leg turned black. | ||
| But I mean, Ari would have waited that long. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| I think he had SAG insurance. | ||
| Can you tell? | ||
| Did he have any other symptoms besides No, he was just limping. | ||
| We used to play pool a lot, and he was limping around the table. | ||
| I'm like, what's going on? | ||
| And then he showed it to me, and I was like, dude, we're going to the hospital. | ||
| And he was like, what? | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah, your curiosity saved Ari. | ||
| Could have. | ||
| I mean, maybe he would have gone to the hospital anyway, but it was bad, man. | ||
| It was a big, fat zit, like the size of a golf ball, and it had a big white head on it. | ||
| And I was like, oh, dude. | ||
| I go, this is bad. | ||
| So that's what to look for? | ||
| There's that, but there's also like dots. | ||
| My friend Tate, I had staff once, I had staff twice. | ||
| My friend Tate and I were at the airport waiting for our flight and I had shorts on and my leg crossed like that and he was looking at my calf. | ||
| He goes, what's on your fucking calf? | ||
| I looked over, there's like these little red spots all over. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know. | ||
| It's some shit. | ||
| He goes, dude, that's staph. | ||
| I go, you think? | ||
| And he goes, yeah. | ||
| He goes, you need to get that checked out, like right away. | ||
| I was like, that staph? | ||
| I go, I thought staph. | ||
| He goes, staph could look like that, too. | ||
| He goes, I think it's staph. | ||
| So I go right to the doctor. | ||
| They do a swab of it, and the doctor was like, yeah, that's staph. | ||
| She goes, I'm going to give you a bunch of antibiotics, and oral antibiotics, and if this doesn't work, I'm going to have to put you on an IV. I'm like, what? | ||
| And so they gave me these antibiotics that knocked me for a loop. | ||
| I am amazed that fighters fight when they're on antibiotics. | ||
| Because, like, Luke Rockhold, when he beat Chris Weidman, he was on antibiotics for staph. | ||
| When he won, when he beat him for the title, they drain you. | ||
| They make you so weak. | ||
| It's crazy how weak I felt. | ||
| Maybe I'm just a pussy, which for sure I am, but I immediately was, like, tired, and I tried to work out. | ||
| I was like, oh my god, like, this is what staph does for you? | ||
| Or this is what antibiotics do for me? | ||
| Fighting the staph. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Which means the staph is intense. | ||
| It's the staph's intense and the antibiotics are intense, but antibiotics knock you for a loop. | ||
| Dude, staph is scary. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| And then there's MRSA, which is even scarier, which is, that's medication-resistant staph. | ||
| And this MRSA is a lot of people catch it in hospitals when they have surgery. | ||
| And they have these, like, life-threatening infections because it's just ravaging your fucking body and it's resistant to the antibiotics. | ||
| So what do you do in that situation? | ||
| Dude, you stay in the hospital for a long-ass time. | ||
| I have a buddy of mine who had to get his knee operated on. | ||
| He got a MRSA on his knee. | ||
| They opened him up like a fish. | ||
| And they had to go into the area and try to disinfect it and try to kill the infection. | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
| And he was in the hospital for a long time. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| A long time. | ||
| And he was an elite athlete, a black belt in jujitsu. | ||
| Is it a virus or a bacteria? | ||
| It's bacteria. | ||
| It's bacteria. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's just trying to spread and live like everything. | ||
| It's trying to eat you quick. | ||
| Trying to eat you. | ||
| And because of, you know, these medication-resistant strains that have come from medications, because they figure out a pathway past the antibiotic. | ||
| And then they just get into people in hospitals. | ||
| Or, you know, you can catch it in other places too, but I know a bunch of people that have gotten MRSA, and they're fucked for a long time, like months. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Scary, dude. | ||
| Life always finds a way, no matter what form of life, it'll just adapt. | ||
| Whether it's wolves or bears or whatever. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Bacteria, viruses. | ||
| See if you can find a video of a bear burying its kill. | ||
| Because they do bury their kill. | ||
| Like a crocodile likes to take something they kill and stick it under a log, let it rot. | ||
| Just so it's easier to eat? | ||
| Easier to eat, yeah. | ||
| They'll either eat chunks of it while they can right there, but if it's too much work, they'll just shove you under a rock and leave you there for a few days. | ||
| Will wolves ever come around and try to sniff out and battle the grizzly for the buried? | ||
| They'll try to scare them off. | ||
| They'll bark at them. | ||
| They'll come around them. | ||
|
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Because they can smell the carcass underneath the ground. | |
| One thing wolves definitely do is they scare mountain lions off their food. | ||
| Like where places where wolves have increased in numbers, mountain lions have decreased in numbers. | ||
| And there's a direct correlation between the two because what happens is wolves kill the kittens. | ||
| So this is one that's burying. | ||
| He's burying this elk. | ||
| Oh, he just killed it. | ||
| He didn't bury it. | ||
| It's a 24-hour period. | ||
| It does it over the time, I think. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| They found him chasing that thing. | ||
| They found him chasing it and killing it. | ||
| I think he's just waiting for it to rot. | ||
| But see, that's what they'll do. | ||
| They'll just hang over their kill. | ||
| And look, he's going to kind of cover it up with dirt and leave it there. | ||
| And then he's going to watch it from a distance. | ||
| That's going to be his territory now. | ||
| So if you killed that elk and you came over and it was covered in dirt like that, like right there, see how that elk is covered in dirt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the last shit you want to see. | ||
| The last shit you want to see is the elk you shot covered in dirt, because you don't know which way to get out of there. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| You might back up and go, we got to get out of here, and that bear's behind you. | ||
| Or you might go left, and that's where the bear is. | ||
| Or you might go right. | ||
| So you're in the woods, right? | ||
| And you got a 900-pound super predator. | ||
| That has claimed this animal that you shot, and you're way too close to it. | ||
| And you have no idea where he is watching. | ||
| No idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you might not be able to get a shot off as he's running at you. | ||
| Has that ever happened to you or anyone you know? | ||
|
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No. | |
| Yes, people I know. | ||
| And what do they do? | ||
| They just slowly back away? | ||
| My friend Steve Rinella and Remy Warren and Ryan Callahan and Giannis Boutalas, they were all on this trip in Alaska, and the very same thing happened. | ||
| They shot an elk. | ||
| And what they did was, it was a long trek to their camp, and elk is a huge animal. | ||
| So what they decided to do, it was late in the afternoon, they said, we're going to hang this elk, or I think they might have gutted it and left it, but they were going to come back later. | ||
| So they come back later and they check and it hasn't been claimed. | ||
| They think. | ||
| They think it's fine. | ||
| But then they step in bear shit. | ||
| First clue. | ||
| And they're like, okay, is this fresh bear shit? | ||
| Like, what does this mean? | ||
| The elk hasn't been disturbed? | ||
| So they sit down and they're packing out the animal, they dress the animal, and they sit down and have lunch. | ||
| So they sit down and have lunch and they hear a noise and they turn and they see an 11-foot bear sprinting full clip right at them. | ||
| Just makes a mad run into their camp. | ||
| Knocks guys flying. | ||
| Steve said this thing was gnashing its teeth 18 inches from his face. | ||
| Just runs by. | ||
| Gnashing its teeth. | ||
| A giant bear. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| Your whole body goes into reptilian mode. | ||
| You're in full shock. | ||
| You're frozen. | ||
| One guy winds up on its back. | ||
| This guy, Dirtmouth, in the middle of the scramble and the bear knocking these guys, he is on the bear's back for like a hundred feet as it's running down the hill. | ||
| Did he do that consciously or just happened in the melee? | ||
| It just happened in the melee where he lands on this thing's back. | ||
| And then it runs off into the woods. | ||
| No one had a gun ready. | ||
| No one is prepared. | ||
| And then they stop, and then they regroup, and they try to figure it out, and they can hear it huffing at them through the woods. | ||
| Like, it's thinking about making another charge. | ||
| And they got their rifles ready now. | ||
| This is a monster movie. | ||
| Like, a legitimate monster movie. | ||
| It's not just nature. | ||
| Did anyone get hurt from a... | ||
| No, they got so fortunate. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| They got so fortunate. | ||
| Did he make another charge? | ||
| How did they get out of there? | ||
| No, I think they yelled at it, and they all had the rifles out, and I think they got out of there. | ||
| I don't know if they left meat for the bear. | ||
| I'm pretty sure they left at least the gut pile. | ||
| I don't think they went back a second time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't remember, though, but I remember it being a wild fucking story. | ||
| And Remy Warren tells it on my podcast, and Steve Rinella tells it. | ||
| And I think maybe Steve just told it. | ||
| No, he told it on my podcast and on his podcast. | ||
| On both. | ||
| But it's an extraordinary story. | ||
| Because they're both really fucking smart and articulate guys. | ||
| And they encounter what is, you know, one of the most horrific predators you could ever stumble into. | ||
| Like a 900 pound, 1000 pound bear. | ||
| And this one's 11 feet because this is Alaska. | ||
| They're the biggest ones. | ||
| Because they have the most access to protein. | ||
| They're so big. | ||
| 11 feet. | ||
| So that was what I was saying about the wolves. | ||
| The wolves they brought down to Yellowstone were from Canada. | ||
|
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They're bigger wolves. | |
| So... | ||
| I don't know if that's 100% true. | ||
| Are they going to shrink, you think, because they're now in a different environment? | ||
| They probably shrink if they go to Arizona. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Over, like, generation after generation. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But, like, the red wolf that's on the East Coast, that's a smaller wolf. | ||
| And the gray wolf that used to live on the West Coast had all been eradicated by farmers. | ||
| What they would do is they would shoot an animal and they would fill it full of strychnine. | ||
| Like they would literally pump its veins full with strychnine right after they killed it and just leave it there. | ||
| And the wolves would find it, they would eat the carcass and they would all die. | ||
| And they did that over and over and over again until they eradicated wolves from the West Coast. | ||
| Until the 90s. | ||
| In the 90s they decided to reintroduce them into Yellowstone. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's an interesting thing because throughout history, people have been terrified of wolves. | ||
| That's where the Little Red Riding Hood myth and, you know, Three Little Pigs, all that shit's wolves. | ||
| Everyone's scared of wolves. | ||
|
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Right. | |
| Because wolves used to eat people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the dogs, they think, the best theory is, right, that dogs evolved from gray wolves, specifically. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that, you know, we've always had this real weird relationship with them because they're beautiful and majestic, but if, you know, you're a hiker... | ||
| When you go down the wrong path, wolves will fucking eat you. | ||
| Yeah, they look cool because they look like dogs. | ||
| The Northwestern Wolf, known by many including as the Mackenzie Valley Wolf, the Canadian Timber Wolf, and the Alaska Timber Wolf, is the largest wolf in the world, with an average male weighing 137 pounds while the average female weighs 101 pounds. | ||
| Yeah, so those are the biggest wolves. | ||
| But I think the ones that we had in North America were probably pretty similar but smaller. | ||
| But either way, you know, you don't want a 90-pound wolf fucking you up either. | ||
| They're amazing predators. | ||
| They can snap moose bones with their teeth just to suck the marrow out. | ||
| It's amazing, though, that we've created dogs that can fuck up wolves. | ||
|
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Have we though? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| There's dogs that can fuck up wolves. | ||
| What dogs? | ||
|
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Those... | |
| What are they called? | ||
| There's a few breeds that they use to fuck wolves up. | ||
| So do they have like wolf fights? | ||
| I think they do, but I think they just have them for protection against wolves. | ||
| And they fuck wolves up. | ||
| Yeah, we've created these big dogs. | ||
| Kangals can grow to 145 pounds and up to 33 inches tall, surpassing most other massive dog breeds like Great Danes. | ||
| Wow, I didn't even know this thing was a real animal. | ||
| Yuck. | ||
| Today in Turkey and increasingly in the United States, the viciously protective dogs are known and celebrated as wolf fighters. | ||
| Whoa, let me see a video of these dogs. | ||
| Yeah, look, there's 13 dog breeds that can kill wolves. | ||
| Wow, interesting. | ||
| Wolves and protect your house. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| Dogs are just the most incredible animal. | ||
| Oh, there's that Caucasian Shepherd dog. | ||
| You ever seen that thing? | ||
| No. | ||
| That thing looks like that werewolf I have outside. | ||
| I'd like to see one of those. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Cane Corsos too? | ||
| Look at the size of that thing! | ||
|
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Fuck! | |
| It's like a shack of dogs. | ||
| Look at the size of that thing! | ||
| It is so big. | ||
| Do that picture with that lady, the first picture that you had. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| There's definitely a perspective thing, like a guy holding a fish in front of him. | ||
| But either way, that is a preposterous photo. | ||
| Look at that one right there. | ||
| That's real, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, look at the size of this thing. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| That's a 200-pound dog. | ||
| So that dog can fuck up a wolf, I guess. | ||
| You know, if you can make a dog to be an English bulldog that can't walk and can't breathe right, you can make a dog that can kill a wolf. | ||
| The thing, I think you could probably kill a wolf, but a pack of wolves, I think the pack of wolves will win. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, pack of wolves, you don't want to fuck with them. | ||
| Well, they're so much different than any other predator like that in that they operate as a unit and they think and they set traps for animals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wolves will funnel animals through the bottom of a canyon and they'll be waiting on the other side and they'll be waiting from the top so they can come down and the animals can't get away. | ||
| They'll chase them into an area. | ||
| They'll corral them. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| They're smart and they know. | ||
| They all have roles and somehow or another they know what their roles are. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a good basketball team. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| Look, what is that thing? | ||
| Oh my god, that's a real animal? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| A Commodore. | ||
| And that could kill a wolf? | ||
| That's what it said. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Made the list. | ||
| Well, I guess the wolf can't kill it. | ||
| How do you get to its body? | ||
| It's a fucking mop. | ||
| Look at that mop. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Imagine taking that thing out in the Texas summer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It would just drop dead. | ||
| Look, he can't even see his face. | ||
| Bro, that is a wild animal. | ||
| That seems like a Jurassic Park creature. | ||
| That doesn't seem like a real animal. | ||
| What the fuck can I see? | ||
| Doesn't that seem like a fantasy animal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like it would talk in a movie? | ||
| What? | ||
| It looks like if it was laying down and its head was down, you wouldn't even know it's a dog. | ||
| That's real? | ||
| Hungarian sheepdog. | ||
| Oh my god, that is so crazy. | ||
| Look at that thing laying there. | ||
| Looks like spaghetti. | ||
| It's a bath mat. | ||
| That's a real dog right there? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| No, that's actually a bath mat. | ||
| That can't be a real dog. | ||
| I guess they're a dog named for it. | ||
| Oh, that's a dog out of the pool. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That dog's like Gracie. | ||
| It doesn't look like it can fuck you up, but it'll fuck you up. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Poodles will fuck you up. | ||
| Poodles can be nasty. | ||
| The big ass poodles? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just look cute and they make them with the crazy haircuts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what's a nasty dog that a lot of people think isn't? | ||
| A Dalmatian is a nasty dog. | ||
| They use those to protect the horses. | ||
| The old school, they were used to protect horses that would go to fires. | ||
| And they're nasty. | ||
| A lot of people get Dalmatians because they're pretty and they look great and they're beautiful, but they're nasty dogs, Dalmatians. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I've heard they bite people. | ||
| And then there was a thing after, not that all of them bite people, but there's been some instances. | ||
| There was a thing after 101 Dalmatians where people thought, oh, that's a cute dog. | ||
| They went and got Dalmatians. | ||
|
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|
No, it's not. | |
| My kid is dead. | ||
| Well, huskies bite people. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| Huskies look like wolves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I don't think huskies are wolves. | ||
| I'm not stupid. | ||
| But how close do they look like? | ||
| It looks like a wolf. | ||
| It looks so close. | ||
| It's like a wolf, yeah. | ||
| Cool picture of a husky, yeah. | ||
| So German shepherds look very wolf-like, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Sort of Belgian Malinois. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| A lot of those long... | ||
| Like, that's so close. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's clearly a husky, but, man, it looks a lot like a wolf. | ||
| It looks like a hot wolf. | ||
| Yeah, like a well-groomed wolf. | ||
| I mean, they definitely look different, right? | ||
| It looks more softened. | ||
| It doesn't look quite as terrifying. | ||
| Not even close to as terrifying, but they really look fucking similar. | ||
| How closely related are huskies to wolves? | ||
| Find that out. | ||
| Can they follow? | ||
| Is a pug more removed from a wolf than a husky? | ||
| How does it work? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| There's certain dogs that are closer, without a doubt. | ||
| A pug is obviously not as close as a dog like a husky. | ||
| But can they measure it? | ||
| I'm sure they can. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| But how do they measure it if they're all, at one point in time, wolves? | ||
| Maybe they look at the DNA somehow? | ||
| Right, I wonder what it is that makes a husky look so much more like a wolf. | ||
| Anything? | ||
| Getting into it. | ||
| It looks like they might have been bred in the 30s. | ||
| First American Kennel Club formally recognized as a Siberian Husky in 1930. Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, maybe they just breed them down less. | ||
| It's just like they stop it. | ||
| They go, all right, we want something vicious, and then something strong that does the job or whatever it is, and it's closer to a wolf than a pug that just kind of sits around. | ||
| They keep breeding it down, breeding it down, breeding it down. | ||
| It just gets farther and farther away from the original thing. | ||
| I was listening to a Radiolab podcast. | ||
| They were talking about how they did this really quickly with foxes. | ||
| They had foxes and the foxes had like, you know, they had them kept in cages. | ||
| And if you got near the fox, if it growled at any of the scientists, they would shoot it and kill it. | ||
| So all the ones that expressed any sort of aggression towards people they killed. | ||
| And then they slowly started feeding these things and taking care of these things and over time, and not that many generations, their ears started to flop, their snouts started to shorten, they became more soft looking and less intimidating looking. | ||
| It like changed what these foxes looked like in a short amount of time. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I don't remember how long the demonstration was, or how long the experimentation was. | ||
| But you could probably not do that with any other animal. | ||
| I remember reading once that the dogs have this unique malleable gene that no other species, no other animal has, and that's why we're able to kind of tailor them for jobs in generations, because of this specific malleable gene. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what it's called, but it's something unique to canines. | ||
| I think this is true, that there's also something about dogs' eyes, that dogs possess an ability to express emotion with their eyes that wolves don't. | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| Because I'm pretty sure that's true, that I had read that or heard that, that dogs have, you know, a dog can look at you and they express things with their eyes. | ||
| Wolves just look at you all the time like this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wolves just, they don't have that ability to express emotion with their eyes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah, the puppy dog face. | ||
| The puppy dog eyes. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| I'm trying to get to the article about it. | ||
| Oh, so that's what they call it? | ||
| A puppy dog eyes? | ||
| I'm trying to see if it's just about a wolf not doing it. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a special muscle that dogs did develop, though, over time that didn't exist. | ||
| Yeah, it says this facial muscle... | ||
| That's fucking wild. | ||
| ...melt many people's hearts that does not exist in wolves, the ancestor of dogs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's a muscle. | ||
| And just to let us know that, you know, you love me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My dog, Marshall, he definitely got that shit. | ||
| Oh, hell yeah. | ||
| He looks right at you. | ||
| Yeah, he's a loving dog. | ||
| He's a sweetie. | ||
| I love when they try to figure out what you're doing, and they turn their head, they're like, what is it? | ||
| What is he saying to me? | ||
| I used to have a dog and when I would say to her do you want to go for a walk? | ||
| They get pumped about everything there I think also endorphins are released in both animals, like the relationship between humans and dogs, they're good for you because the interaction of both species release endorphins. | ||
| I mean, I make fun of it, but there's a reality of an emotional support dog. | ||
| Dogs give you a good feeling, like a drug. | ||
| There's love. | ||
| There's love in dogs. | ||
| When I come home and there's no one in the house but my dog, I'm like, what's up? | ||
| Dog is pumped. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, what's up? | ||
| You know, and then I'll take him out to pee. | ||
| We'll hang out outside a little bit. | ||
| We'll play. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he's so happy to see you. | ||
| I've never had a dog that's, like, more connected to people than that dog. | ||
| Than Marshall? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's so connected to people. | ||
| He loves everybody. | ||
| He said what's up to everybody in that room. | ||
| He's like, what's up, what's up? | ||
| And he does the route. | ||
| And then he comes back and does it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| He was in this room. | ||
| He would be doing that. | ||
| He'd be over by Jamie. | ||
| Hi, Jamie. | ||
| If he was a comic, he'd do great in the business. | ||
| He's a great networker. | ||
| Be an amazing networker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's just a love sponge. | ||
| My friend Mike said that. | ||
| That's what he calls golden retrievers. | ||
| They're love sponges. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's other animals that are just fucking not that agreeable. | ||
| And you need those animals for certain tasks. | ||
| Like if you're going to fight off wolves, Marshall is not your huckleberry. | ||
| No, that's not. | ||
| Marshall would be like, what's up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They'd be like, why are you dudes not acting chill? | ||
| I remember a dog bit him once when we were running, and it was weird. | ||
| It was a yellow lab. | ||
| There was a yellow lab that was like a bad dog that lived on our street. | ||
| So I'm running down the hills with Marshall, and then this guy comes with the yellow lab, and he doesn't have control of the dog. | ||
| And the dog just runs up to Marshall and bites him, and I have to run over and break it up, and I'm breaking it up, and Marshall's like, what the hell? | ||
| Like, this is his look. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| He didn't fight back at all. | ||
| He didn't fight back at all. | ||
| He didn't know what to do. | ||
| And he was only like one at the time. | ||
| He was a puppy still. | ||
| But it was like, what the fuck? | ||
| He'd never imagined someone would bite him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I'm your friend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I come here to say hi. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did he change after that? | ||
| Did he get insecure around dogs? | ||
| No, I mean, I was a little more careful with him after that. | ||
| In certain areas where I knew that there's people on the trails, I would put them on a leash. | ||
| But most of the time when we would run this one area, it was kind of precarious terrain, and I was the only one running it most of the time with Marshall. | ||
| It's amazing how dogs just either like each other or don't, and they figure it out quick, and it kind of doesn't change. | ||
| They're kind of like women in that way. | ||
| Well, some dogs just don't like other dogs. | ||
| Yeah, and they know immediately from a smell or something. | ||
| They don't like other dogs at all, like any dog they run to they don't like. | ||
| No, but even just with personality, it's just sometimes two dogs don't get along, and somehow they know and they meet, and it's like, it doesn't... | ||
| Well, some dogs don't like people. | ||
| Like, certain people. | ||
| Like, they'll like you. | ||
| They come, oh, hi, Jan. | ||
| And then someone else walks in the room like, ooh, this motherfucker. | ||
| I'm like, bro, that dog doesn't like you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They just decide not to like a person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder why. | ||
| I wonder what it is. | ||
| I bet they can smell weirdness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet if you are scared of the dog, I bet the dog catches those vibes and maybe you seem erratic, like you might do something stupid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the dog's like, oh, look at this dumb motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And the dog's staring at you and it's like, oh, he doesn't like you. | ||
| No, he's, like, worried about you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He might do something dumb. | ||
| He's a protector. | ||
| So if a dog is around its owner and then a person walks over that's super nervous, the dog probably thinks, oh, this guy's going to jack my owner. | ||
| They probably can smell shit that we can't even imagine. | ||
| Their noses are so much more sensitive than ours. | ||
| It's like a superpower. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| They can smell for like a mile away. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| They have insane noses, but you ready for this? | ||
| A bear's nose is like nine times stronger. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| A bear's nose is like one of the most preposterous things in all of nature. | ||
| They can smell shit way better than a bloodhound can. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They can smell people like 800 yards away. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There's been videos of guys on hills like spying on these bears with binoculars and they feel wind at the back of their neck so the wind is behind them and the bear just goes like that with his nose and runs. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Eight football fields. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Do you think the dogs are in touch? | ||
| That gut feeling we have is the same instinct that all animals have, like a dog has. | ||
| Because the gut always ends up being right, for the most part. | ||
| Sometimes, yeah. | ||
| I had a Finnish friend who once explained it to me as like, always listen to your gut because that's millions of years of survival instinct from all your ancestors beyond when they were human. | ||
| Like that feeling, that's what that is. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that's a cool way to describe what that gut feeling is. | ||
| There's got to be some of that. | ||
| There's got to be something to that. | ||
| They say the gut is also like when people talk about like feeling things like with their heart, like when you trust your heart, like that kind. | ||
| Like your heart has a bunch of neurons in it. | ||
| I think it has the second, didn't we Google this, like the second most amount of neurons in the body? | ||
| Something like that? | ||
| In the stomach, the heart does too. | ||
| In the stomach too. | ||
| So they all have neurons. | ||
| And so it's like trust your heart, trust your gut. | ||
| I think those things, those sayings, come from a real thing. | ||
| Like maybe you could feel certain things. | ||
| And maybe we're like less connected to it. | ||
| Because we've gotten used to cities and supermarkets and all the shit that we deal with today that's kind of softened us and turned us into human pugs. | ||
| But I bet those instincts are still there in like times of danger. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| They pop up. | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| The human gut is lined with more than a hundred million nerve cells. | ||
| It's practically a brain unto itself and indeed the gut actually talks to the brain releasing hormones into the bloodstream that over the course of about ten minutes tell us how hungry it is or that we shouldn't have eaten an entire pizza. | ||
| Wow, that's wild. | ||
| So actually there is some science behind what you feel in your gut? | ||
| And also those expressions. | ||
| Yeah, Dr. Amor in 1991 discovered that the heart has its little brain or intrinsic cardiac nervous system. | ||
| This heart brain is composed of approximately 40,000 neurons that are alike neurons in the brain, meaning that the heart has its own nervous system. | ||
| Wild! | ||
| I did not know that at all. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Trust your heart, trust your gut. | ||
| There's something to that. | ||
| There's something to that. | ||
| Imagine that, but now imagine that with a wolf. | ||
| Imagine what they can sense. | ||
| They probably sense so many things. | ||
| They probably sense Anger, they probably sense like a heightened awareness, calmness. | ||
| They probably can tell like what you're gonna do before you do it. | ||
| It's probably one of the reasons why they can communicate with each other. | ||
| They're probably like signaling their intent through smells. | ||
| Like when they see a moose and they're hungry, they probably signal their intent through smells. | ||
| They probably signal their intent either to chase the moose or to be one of the ones that sneaks up behind it when you are chasing it towards it. | ||
| They probably figure it out through smells. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because they're not talking, right? | ||
| They're sneaky. | ||
| I wonder if like prehistoric man is better at reading people probably because it meant the survival of Their tribe. | ||
| They were probably much more in touch with that. | ||
| To be like, ah, this dude is weak, or this dude's a character, or this dude's two-faced, or whatever. | ||
| For sure, right? | ||
| I mean, if your survival relied on you being able to tell what a person is capable of or not capable of fairly quickly, they're probably more tuned in. | ||
| If they weren't, maybe psychopaths and psychopaths would have propagated more. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Because if you're in a tribe back then, if you were all out for yourself, it was probably bad for the tribe. | ||
| Oh yeah, definitely. | ||
| And so they probably sniffed you out and were like, fuck you, and then the psychopath had to go... | ||
| Yeah, like if a tribe found out that someone was hoarding food or taking more than their own share... | ||
| Yeah, or just being like nefarious or manipulative, like trying to sow division because... | ||
| Trying to kill the chief because they want to be the chief. | ||
| They want to be the chief. | ||
| They'd probably sniff that shit out. | ||
| I mean, how many coup attempts have there been on chiefs and tribes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like almost nobody would make it to the end of their reign without someone trying to take them out. | ||
| Nobody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nobody. | |
| It's not human nature to... | ||
| It's human nature to try to do it, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| It probably had, you know, over time it probably evolved. | ||
| I need an advisor, I need this, because they took out that dude. | ||
| And then maybe the tribe, like the chief has a bunch of wives, and one of the guys starts secretly banging the wife. | ||
| Because the chief can't fuck all of them. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| Because, you know, some of those guys have a gang of wives. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So people are like, fuck him. | ||
| Why does he have so many wives? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Isn't that funny that that's one of the cult leaders? | ||
| Always. | ||
| They always... | ||
| Fucking a lot of women is always part of their religion somehow. | ||
| Yeah, any cult. | ||
| I mean, anything where someone's going to be the top dog. | ||
| You know, they say that was what was going on in the Catholic Church before they made them be celibate. | ||
| That priests used to be banging everybody. | ||
| They were rock stars. | ||
| So that came later? | ||
| Yeah, it came later. | ||
| Yeah, celibacy was introduced to the Catholic Church, and I think part of it was because they had too much influence and too much power. | ||
| They were probably fucking everybody. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| I thought they started as that, that they couldn't marry. | ||
| Take yourself back to the time before the Bible was translated, like in a bunch of different languages, like before Martin Luther. | ||
| If you had the Bible, it was in Latin. | ||
| You had to be able to read Latin. | ||
| How many people knew Latin? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So it was like a protected priest class that knew how to do this. | ||
| And you were the literal messenger of God. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You were pious and they probably fucked everybody. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like preachers do, evangelists. | ||
| We just assume those guys fuck a lot. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| You know they all do. | ||
| You know they do. | ||
| Like during that Jim Baker scandal. | ||
| Of course he fucks. | ||
| They always do. | ||
| Of course he fucks. | ||
| One of my favorites. | ||
| He's a rock star. | ||
| Yeah, one of my favorites. | ||
| Yeah, like, dude, Joel Osteen is a star. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Star. | |
| He plays arenas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Arenas. | |
| Yeah, dude is a star. | ||
| Beautiful hair. | ||
| He looks fantastic. | ||
| He looks fantastic. | ||
| Nice suits. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My favorite is that story recently where they found like 600 grand or something in the bathroom of the church. | ||
| Did you hear about that? | ||
| I did hear about that. | ||
| Yeah, I love that story. | ||
| Was that his church? | ||
| That was his church. | ||
| He's got money buried in the walls. | ||
| Yeah, he got money buried, literally buried in the walls. | ||
| Just in case they come for him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What year was celibacy introduced into the Catholic Church? | ||
| It's a long, long time ago. | ||
| At first I'd said a thousand years ago, basically, but now I'm seeing the first written mandate requiring priests to become chaste came in AD 304. AD 304. So the year 304. That's when they got tired of priest fucking everybody. | ||
| That's the only explanation. | ||
| Priests, they mutated in a weird way after that. | ||
| Like COVID. Not good. | ||
| Yeah, they mutated in a bad way. | ||
| Mutated to be a worse virus. | ||
| Imagine any other religion. | ||
| Because COVID, I mean COVID rather, the Catholic Church, the reason why they're allowed to get away with what they get away with, because they've been around so long. | ||
| Here's a quote from Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians. | ||
| Recommend celibacy for women. | ||
| To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. | ||
| But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. | ||
| For it is better to marry than be aflame with passion. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Imagine how they thought about things back then. | ||
| But that is women. | ||
| That's telling women, but that's in the Bible, just telling women to be, you know, don't be a hoe. | ||
| All religions, it's written by insecure dudes. | ||
| Like, hey ladies. | ||
| Don't be aflame with passion. | ||
| Don't enjoy sex at all. | ||
| You're there for your dude. | ||
| Imagine how wild people must have fucked back then too. | ||
| Aflame with passion. | ||
| Aflame with passion. | ||
| You know, there were wilder people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But we really did... | ||
| Oppressed women's sexuality till recently. | ||
| I mean like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at what's happening in other parts of the world right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The places where women are still getting their clits cut off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean like they recently like are trying to understand their orgasms like the last hundred years or 50 years or whatever it is like women's liberation like they're understanding the power. | ||
| They have multiple orgasms. | ||
| I mean you could really enjoy sex if you're a woman. | ||
| When do you think women- More than men. | ||
| What do you think it was like back then? | ||
| It was probably commonplace. | ||
| Rape was probably commonplace. | ||
| Beatings were probably commonplace. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there were. | ||
| I mean, my grandfather, this is a true story. | ||
| My grandfather was born on a small island that used to be called Imbros, which is now Turkish. | ||
| It's got a Turkish name. | ||
| But during the Ottoman Empire, there was like a local sultan, I guess. | ||
| They had like these viceroys that were set up around the Ottoman Empire that kind of controlled the region like Pontius Pilate was in the Roman Empire. | ||
| And he was known for like raping kids. | ||
| So my great grandparents sent him to Egypt because they didn't want him to be raped by the Sultan and he never returned. | ||
| He never saw his family again. | ||
| He grew up in Egypt and then from Egypt he came to America. | ||
| But that's a true story. | ||
| So that was his life story. | ||
| I mean that's what he had to deal with back then. | ||
| That was during the Ottoman Empire when Greeks were slaves. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So, I think a great portion... | ||
| History's just full of brutality. | ||
| Brutality. | ||
| There's brutality. | ||
| You know, in Russia, it's still legal to hit your wife? | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Domestic violence is not against the law. | ||
| Make sure that's true. | ||
| Make sure that's true. | ||
| Yeah, it's just... | ||
| I wish people in America would realize that more. | ||
| Like, you know, the real flaw in freedom and the real irony to the amount when you complain is that you're allowed to complain, which means you have it good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's sort of the oxymoron of it all. | ||
| Like, you're complaining a lot because you feel like something's wrong, but that you're able to complain is an indication of how good you have it. | ||
| Because try to bring up those complaints to King Z or whoever the fuck, and you just disappear. | ||
| Yeah, they'll cut you in half in front of your kids. | ||
| So, what does it say? | ||
| January 2017, lawmakers voted 30 to 3 to decriminalize certain forms of domestic violence. | ||
| Under the new law, first-time offenses that did not result in serious bodily harm, carrying a maximum fine of 30,000 rubles up to 15 days administrative arrest or up to 120 hours of community service. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They decriminalized domestic violence in 2017. Jesus Christ. | ||
| That was just a few years ago. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| That's basically giving a green light to the pimp slap. | ||
| To what Will Smith did to Chris Rock that is not a crime to do to your wife in Russia. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Chris Rock should have fucking hit him back. | ||
| Should have jumped on his back as soon as he turned his back like that. | ||
| That just gets filtered through an MMA brain. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Dude, take us back. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| Here's the reality. | ||
| You don't slap a man in the face and then turn your back and walk away unless you should have never slapped that man in the first place. | ||
| Because you're only slapping a guy who you know can't slap you back. | ||
| That's why I slap. | ||
| That's the only reason why he slapped him and then turned his back and walked away. | ||
| Look, if he slapped him and then stood his ground and waited for a return and was ready to go to war, that's one thing. | ||
| But when you slap a man and you turn around and go back to your seat, that is a sure sign you should not have slapped that man. | ||
| It's not fair. | ||
| I just had this image of a movie, like the Karate Kid, where Chris Rock just shows up in Austin and he's like, hey Joe, you know, you betrayed me! | ||
| I was thinking to my friends last night, I was like, imagine if Chris Rock had just a year of solid jiu-jitsu training under his belt. | ||
| And as soon as Will Smith turns his back, he just leaps and takes his back and just squeezes Will out before the fuck, before the security guards can get to him. | ||
| Will Smith goes out. | ||
| Wipes that smirk off Will Smith's face. | ||
| Listen, apparently they worked it out. | ||
| Like, I read that they talked and Will Smith made a statement and Chris Rock even apologized. | ||
| And apparently they talked backstage and worked it out, which is the best. | ||
| I don't think Will Smith should go to jail. | ||
| I don't think any of that stuff should happen. | ||
| I don't think they should take away his Academy Award. | ||
| I think he knows it was a foolish act. | ||
| Everybody else knows. | ||
| And I think it's one of those learning experiences for the world. | ||
| It's like a teachable moment, right? | ||
| Like the whole world can see that we put stars and celebrities up on pedestals, but they're just human beings. | ||
| And sometimes human beings get pushed to the point where they do something irrational. | ||
| And that's what he did. | ||
| He just did something totally irrational that he's completely embarrassed by. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, you know that's what you get for marrying a woman with a headshot. | ||
| Bobby Kelly told me a long time ago, don't marry a woman with a headshot. | ||
| I mean, there's two egos, you know? | ||
| There's two egos. | ||
| Yeah, but it works in some cases. | ||
| Some cases it does work. | ||
| If you meet the perfect woman and she has a headshot, who cares? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, look at Tom Segurin and Christina Pazitsky. | ||
| That works. | ||
| There's a few examples. | ||
| Bonnie McFarlane and Rich Voss. | ||
| Totally works. | ||
| That works. | ||
| And it works off each other. | ||
| Those guys are hilarious together. | ||
| They are hilarious. | ||
| Hilarious together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hilarious. | |
| Hilarious. | ||
| Steve Carell and Nancy Walls, I think, are both comics. | ||
| There's plenty of examples. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Plenty of examples. | ||
| Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Moshe Kasher. | |
| Great example. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| It works out in some cases. | ||
| Yes, it does. | ||
| But it can be problematic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Comedians can be hard to be friends. | ||
| I mean, there's comedians that neither of us can be friends with. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He's too much. | ||
| He's just like... | ||
| Some of them, you know, you say hi to them, you try to be civil when you see them, but they don't really have any friends. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Those are weird guys, man. | ||
| How do you deal with friendship now? | ||
| Like, how do you... | ||
| You're in such a... | ||
| Like, do you have to be... | ||
| You have to vet more? | ||
| Like, how does it... | ||
| Like, what's your barometer? | ||
| How do you measure, like, who you like and who you don't? | ||
| Is it a gut feeling? | ||
| Is it more of a... | ||
| It's a little bit of a gut feeling. | ||
| It's talking to people and getting to know them. | ||
| But, you know, I have a lot of really good friends already. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So that helps. | ||
| Do you feel like the older you get, the less friends you need? | ||
| Because I find that. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| There's that. | ||
| But there's, like, the less acquaintances you need because you want to spend more time with your really good friends. | ||
| Like, if I hang out with one of my friends, you know, I'm hanging out with them for hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We're going to do a show together, maybe. | ||
| We're going to go get some dinner together. | ||
| We're hanging out for hours and laughing. | ||
| There's so many things I like to do. | ||
| I have so many interests. | ||
| I don't have time to be spending time with people that I'm not really interested in talking to. | ||
| So there's no room. | ||
| I have a lot of friends. | ||
| And also, as you get older, do you think there's some subconscious realization that there's just less time available, so I want to make the most... | ||
| Because time is actually more valuable than money, right? | ||
| It's the only thing you can't get back. | ||
| Yeah, time and health. | ||
| Health is the most valuable thing. | ||
| Well, the health gives you time. | ||
| Yes, it helps. | ||
| You can appreciate your time because you're not suffering. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| The way I manage it is like the way I manage everything. | ||
| I just be myself. | ||
| There's all kinds of cool people that are just regular folks. | ||
| They do get weirded out when they meet a famous person. | ||
| But after a while, they get used to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you've got a comic vibe. | ||
| Even the first time I met you, it was intimidating the first time doing the show, but a few people mentioned it. | ||
| I remember Schultz saying that after he did it. | ||
| He's like, he's a comic, man. | ||
| And then when I came in the first time, I felt that way. | ||
| I was like, yeah, there's a certain... | ||
| Down-to-earthness that comics have because we kind of need it. | ||
| Have to have it. | ||
| You have to have it or else you're kind of disconnected from what you need to do as your job. | ||
| Yeah, your job is to connect to people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like to connect to people in a real way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like they got to really know that like you're smiling at them, you're laughing. | ||
| We're both having a good time together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that's really what comedy is, is sort of like a bond between the audience and the comic on this thing we share in common, which is like this tough life with struggle and uncertainty and mortality, and we're trying to emotionally feel better about it. | ||
| I cut comics so much more breaks than I cut anybody else. | ||
| I give them so much, because I know you're nuts, and I give them all the room. | ||
| But I also let them know, like, look, I'm a comic too, I'm your friend. | ||
| Like, I love comedy. | ||
| I love comedians, and that's our tribe. | ||
| Our tribe is comedians, and there's not that many of us. | ||
| The real number, it's probably a thousand worldwide. | ||
| The real number of, like, a real legitimate professional comedian that can go up and do an hour and kill, and has, like, maybe a following, and can tour clubs and theaters, and then colleges, and then you get to, like, big theaters and arenas. | ||
| How many of those are there? | ||
| Not many. | ||
| Arenas, not many. | ||
| Not many? | ||
| Not many for theaters? | ||
| How many for theaters? | ||
| Is there 50? | ||
| 100? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Maybe 100? | ||
| Probably less, man. | ||
| Probably less. | ||
| Theaters, less. | ||
| So, in this country, I mean, you know, I've talked about it with many comics. | ||
| Like, how many guys in this country would you recommend your friend go see? | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you put it that way, it's not that many. | ||
| 200? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 200 guys, maybe, if you really wrote them all out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not a lot of humans. | ||
| I say 200 guys. | ||
| There's a lot of girls in there, too. | ||
| A lot of very funny girls. | ||
| I mean, 200 humans. | ||
| But it's not that many. | ||
| There's a million doctors in this country. | ||
| There's a lot of occupations. | ||
| It's a very small tribe of people that are comics. | ||
| And so if you're a comic and you don't like other comics, you're missing out on the whole fucking point, stupid. | ||
| You get rude to other comics. | ||
| You don't like when other comics succeed. | ||
| You don't like other people being funny. | ||
| You try to downplay how good they are or why they're successful. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| Yeah, that's a real unfortunate part of the business. | ||
| Maybe that's kind of lessons as the business has changed, but then kind of cancel culture came in where comics started going after other comics. | ||
| That's my pet peeve. | ||
| Those are good comics, though. | ||
| Not in a jokeful way, but when they're really morally indicting someone. | ||
| I hate... | ||
| Break balls about something, make jokes about something. | ||
| Someone's like morally indicting someone and it's a comic to another comic. | ||
| I find that disturbing. | ||
| It's very disturbing. | ||
| And it's always from comics that aren't that good. | ||
| Always. | ||
| It's not the best of the best doing that. | ||
| It's always these mediocre shitheads that want up doing that. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Generally people that think they deserve more attention than they get. | ||
| And they relish the opportunity to take someone down a notch. | ||
| And they relish the opportunity to virtue signal and let all the people that follow them know that they're on the right side of history. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This and that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blah! | |
| Yeah, it's bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, and by the way, now go kill. | ||
| Oh, you can't kill. | ||
| So this is more important? | ||
| Your activism is more important than your comedy? | ||
| Well, that's probably why they're doing it. | ||
| That's what happens, man. | ||
| They get to this point where they're really more of an activist than a comedian. | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| You're just not that good. | ||
| It's hard to do. | ||
| It's hard to do. | ||
| Just face what's going on. | ||
| You're not that good at this thing that's hard to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also, this era, there's no excuse. | ||
| I feel like there's no excuse. | ||
| Even if I never had another ounce of success, I would never blame anything or anyone because the opportunities are there for anyone with the internet. | ||
| You can do whatever you want. | ||
| You can put Your content up, whatever it is you want to try to do, you got a chance to build your own thing. | ||
| You really do. | ||
| Who would trade this era for any other era? | ||
| This is the most free, to be a comic, it's the most free, accessible time that has ever existed At all. | ||
| And it's also a little fun. | ||
| I like the cancer culture. | ||
| It makes comedy a little dangerous again. | ||
| That's what Ari said. | ||
| Yeah, it's fun. | ||
| Ari had that great quote. | ||
| He said, comedy's dangerous again. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| You get in a room, you're like, you guys are sensitive, but let me play with that a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I couldn't agree more. | ||
| And I think there's also, this is strengthening the relationship that comedians have with each other. | ||
| Because before, we used to be competitors. | ||
| Like, maybe you and I would show up in the green room for a casting audition for a television show. | ||
| We're both reading for the part of Paul. | ||
| Like, oh, fuck. | ||
| You're reading from Paul too? | ||
| Now my friend is my competition. | ||
| So you hopefully, you know, I hope you bomb. | ||
| I hope you go in there and choke dick. | ||
| It's like that scene of Batman where the Joker just breaks the stick and goes, you guys fight it out. | ||
| That's what comedy was back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All these certain amount of spots. | ||
| The only certain amount of spots, and everybody had this goal, and the big goal was to get a sitcom, because that was like the honeypot that Jerry Seinfeld got and Roseanne got. | ||
| But then the internet came along, and we instead became assets to each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So I have this podcast. | ||
| You're on my podcast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It helps you, but it helps me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because you're a funny guy, and you're a smart guy, and we're gonna have a fun conversation, and all the people that are on the treadmill right now are enjoying this. | ||
| So that's why it's an asset to each other. | ||
| Like, it helps promote you, but it also helps my show. | ||
| And also, people know that if I have people on, it's because I like them, and they're interesting, and they're funny. | ||
| And so then the audience trusts me more, because I keep introducing to more interesting, funny people. | ||
| They go, oh, he's got good taste in comics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| This is like we all, we can promote each other now because it's not like your show's on Tuesday at 8pm and so is mine. | ||
| No, your fucking show's on whenever the fuck you want. | ||
| Take a shit and on a plane. | ||
| Your show's on whenever anybody wants to see it. | ||
| So is mine. | ||
| And there's enough people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This famine mentality went away with the internet because we all became assets to each other. | ||
| That's such a great way to describe it. | ||
| That's a perfect breakdown. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I never thought about it as an asset. | ||
| We did become assets to each other. | ||
| Yeah, we became the opposite of a competitor. | ||
| We became comrades. | ||
| And then as the podcast community grew, we all found out about these other great podcasts because of each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you find out about Two Bears, One Cave because they were on Skeptic Tank or they were on this or your podcast or Schultz's and Akash and everybody's sort of networking. | ||
| But they're networking not like NBC where we got some wacky contract we can't get out of. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's a natural network. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, it's an organic network of friends that just like to bust balls and have fun and talk shit, and they always tell each other, oh, hey, Giannis has a new Netflix special out, you know, fucking Mark Norman just put his new shit out on YouTube, Shane Gillis has a new thing, like... | ||
| Everybody does that. | ||
| We all do that for each other. | ||
| All of us. | ||
| So it's changed that mentality that some of these older, cunty comedians still have. | ||
| They still have this competitive thing where anybody who does well is somehow or another taking from them. | ||
| Well, I guess a lot of people have a misunderstanding of what survival of the fittest means. | ||
| It doesn't actually mean the strongest survives. | ||
| It means the one who adapts best to change when the environment change survives. | ||
| And often sometimes it'll be the weakest from the previous environment who with the change... | ||
| With accepting the change becomes the strongest in the new environment. | ||
| That's actually what survival of the fittest means. | ||
| Well, we don't need one fittest anymore. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| It could be survival of community. | ||
| Those who adapt to this change and that mentality. | ||
| Those who've adapted to that mentality are going to flourish because that's what the environment is now. | ||
| Right, that's the fittest. | ||
| Yeah, you fit the environment best. | ||
| Not just like you've more endurance and strength. | ||
| No, you've adapted. | ||
| And it's also, it's more fun this way. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Come on, we did that show last night. | ||
| It was so much fun. | ||
| It was so much fun. | ||
| And we do all these things together, whether we do podcasts together or shows together. | ||
| It's always like the same vibe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When comics are around, like I do this show now with Normand, Shane Gillis, Ari, and me. | ||
| We call it Protect Our Parks. | ||
| Because one time, we were all baked as fuck and Ari couldn't shut up about this park that they were gonna get rid of in New York. | ||
| We gotta protect this park! | ||
| And so Shane starts ragging on them and saying that we're gonna call the podcast Protect Our Parks. | ||
| So we've literally changed the name of the, like, our chat group is called Protect Our Parks. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| And the four of us together get together, we get obliterated, we get high as fuck and drunk, and we just talk shit for hours. | ||
| And it's always the same vibe. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just fun. | ||
| Just comics. | ||
| Yeah, comics hanging. | ||
| Shooting the shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And it's also cool that comics can recommend other comics because who do you trust more? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Comics recommend people who are good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I have a few people recommend people. | ||
| They're New York guys. | ||
| And I call Ari. | ||
| He's like, whoa. | ||
| And I'm like, okay. | ||
| Don't say no more, champ. | ||
| Yeah, but it's a great time for comedy, too, because I don't think there's ever been more really funny up-and-comers, you know, more people that don't have to go through all the hurdles that they can put a thing up on YouTube, like you were saying. | ||
| They can put a thing up on Instagram, and it can become viral, and they become famous for it. | ||
| There's so many people, like Angela Johnson with her Vietnamese nail salon bit. | ||
| That fucking bit blew her up one bit. | ||
| I remember I was in San Jose and I was doing the improv, and she was doing a giant-ass theater. | ||
| She had a YouTube video that just blew her up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, wow! | |
| She had a billboard. | ||
| So she's got a fucking billboard? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Yeah, you know, stand-ups don't have the monopoly on funny anymore that we used to because the Internet's opened it up to whoever wants to make videos, podcasts, whatever it is. | ||
| So a lot of guys end up having a funny video channel. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they do stand-up later. | ||
| They're not as good, but they can become good. | ||
| They just keep doing it. | ||
| A lot of those YouTube guys and girls. | ||
| And if they keep doing it, they will. | ||
| Well, you know, look, one of the best versions of taking advantage of this new art form is Kyle Dunnigan and Kurt Metzger. | ||
| Ah, he's the funniest dude in the world, Kyle Dunnigan. | ||
| The two of them together is Batman and Robin. | ||
| Oh, and Kurt's just an amazing writer, and Kyle Dunnigan, dude. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Everything you need to know about where to find your funny now is like, that dude's not on SNL, so it's like, what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Will you watch his Biden stuff? | ||
| He's the funniest fucking dude. | ||
| Kyle Dunnigan, I go there, I cry. | ||
| He did that Michael Jackson one. | ||
| Me and my wife would watch that. | ||
| I was fucking crying, dude. | ||
| I was crying. | ||
| They took that one down, I think, from Instagram. | ||
| Of course they did. | ||
| I think they took it down from Instagram. | ||
| I think they left it up on Twitter, but they took it down from Instagram. | ||
| It is, like, gut funny. | ||
| Gut funny. | ||
| Have you seen the Nancy Pelosi one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When she has skeleton hands, she rubs them together and starts a fire. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| Those face swaps are so good. | ||
| He's such a good, talented impressionist, too. | ||
| Oh, he's amazing. | ||
| And there's also a lot of comedy in the impressions. | ||
| It's not just accurate. | ||
| It's also comedic. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| The two of them together are such an amazing combination. | ||
| Because Metzger is one of the most underrated writers and comics. | ||
| He's a guy, and he'll readily admit this, that he kind of fucked up because he got into the writing circuit. | ||
| And even though he's a great comic, people don't know him for that enough. | ||
| Because he spent so much time just writing and working on shows. | ||
| That he's a great writer, and he's still a great comic, but he didn't do the road. | ||
| Didn't have a lot of stuff that's out there where people can go see him and they know that he's... | ||
| But he's a brilliant comic. | ||
| And a brilliant dude. | ||
| Oh yeah, in New York, Kurt was like one of the guys everyone talked about. | ||
| Kurt as a stand-up. | ||
| Kurt was known in the New York scene as like... | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| He's a great comic, but unfortunately, right now at least, people don't know that enough, and maybe it's good that we're talking about it right now, but the two of them together on that fucking show are a ruthless combination. | ||
| Dude, sometimes you have that chemistry with someone that you can't explain, it's just magical, and I hope those two dudes continue to ride that out, because that's hard to achieve, and when it happens, We should just keep it going. | ||
| It doesn't get enough attention. | ||
| It's one of those gems, those rare gems on Earth where it's like, God, people don't know about this enough. | ||
| And it's like Dave Attell. | ||
| Yeah, Dave Attell, yeah. | ||
| There's people that don't know enough about how good Dave Attell is. | ||
| Oh, he's so funny. | ||
| He might be the best comic alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He might be the best comic alive. | ||
| What joke was it? | ||
| I was dying. | ||
| He goes, you know that when a woman's riding you and she comes up off your dick, or as I like to call it, catching air? | ||
| He goes, "The distance between how far she came up and where your dick is is how big she wishes your dick was." So fucking funny. | ||
| He always has new shit. | ||
| Yeah, he's just a prolific animal. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| Yeah, he's like a stand-up savant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wears the same clothes every night. | ||
| Never changes his appearance. | ||
| Same kind of baseball hat. | ||
| Murders every night. | ||
| He looks like he's robbing a bank every night. | ||
| You see him. | ||
| He's got an outfit on. | ||
| He's about to go get money from a teller. | ||
| Chain smoking with a mask below his chin. | ||
| He always has that mask below his chin. | ||
| Even on stage. | ||
| He wears a mask below his chin on stage. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| And I love you too, man. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Thanks for doing this. | ||
| Tell everybody how to find you on social media. | ||
| Yeah, just Giannis Pappas on all social medias. | ||
| My podcast, Long Days with Giannis Pappas. | ||
| Please check it out. | ||
| And my special is on Amazon. | ||
| Oh, before we stop, what was going on where you were getting episodes deleted? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, YouTube? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| YouTube. | ||
| What were they doing? | ||
| Yeah, so the podcast, Long Days. | ||
| I was doing these episodes. | ||
| I put them up on YouTube, and then YouTube took one down. | ||
| I appealed it. | ||
| They denied the appeal. | ||
| And then like two weeks later, they took an episode down from like four to six months ago. | ||
| I can't remember how. | ||
| It was like when I started the podcast because it's fairly new. | ||
| I've only been doing it for a year. | ||
| And so I kept appealing and trying to find out, like, what did I do? | ||
| And went through all these hoops. | ||
| You talking about it probably is what overturned one of them. | ||
| They overturned one. | ||
| Because then I finally got to Human Review and they were like, yeah, I was on... | ||
| Because some fan time-coded what I said at the moment that they finally told me why it got taken down. | ||
| Like, they told me these are the problematic time-codes. | ||
| But they were nonsense. | ||
| It was fucking nonsense. | ||
| It's comedy and it's nonsense. | ||
| We read the code. | ||
| We read those time codes. | ||
| We read what the transcript of it was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It didn't make any sense. | ||
| Doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It wasn't even remotely offensive. | ||
| I mean, it's crazy. | ||
| One was a joke about the gay pride parade. | ||
| And it was like me, I was like, you know, we all support gay rights. | ||
| I was like, but can we please move the gay pride parade tonight so I can explain... | ||
| Gay rights to my daughter. | ||
| I mean, I don't want to see your asshole before noon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, so it's just making a joke about the gay bride being a little naked and it's during the day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't care if you're gay or straight. | ||
| During the day, we're having brunch. | ||
| I don't want to see your fucking asshole. | ||
| Why is that offensive? | ||
| Gay guys were messaging me on Twitter talking about how funny they thought it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| One gay guy I remember messaged, he goes, he goes, not only do I think it's funny, he's like, it's kind of true. | ||
| He was saying it, he's like, and I'm a gay guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dude, I've seen guys with G-strings and those leather, what are those called? | ||
| Spats? | ||
| What are those things called that horse guys wear? | ||
| Chaps. | ||
| Jamie knows. | ||
| G-strings and chaps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Running down Santa Monica during the gay pride parade. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, all right, dude. | ||
| Wide open asshole. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, just because, you know, come on, dude. | ||
| You can't have any type of parade. | ||
| It's not appropriate. | ||
| I don't care what your sexuality is. | ||
| With a string covering your hairy asshole. | ||
| It's just not appropriate. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| But it's just a joke. | ||
| So they banned that episode and they gave you a strike. | ||
| Well, that's what they said the time code was for. | ||
| I don't know if it's something else I said in the episode. | ||
| I don't know if it was that episode or another episode. | ||
| I was making fun of Justin Bieber. | ||
| So I don't know. | ||
| What did you say about Justin Bieber? | ||
| I said that I would love to be a fly on the wall at the Baldwin Thanksgiving dinner when he comes over to Stephen Baldwin's house. | ||
| And then I acted out Stephen. | ||
| Because Stephen Baldwin's like really right wing. | ||
| You know, it's real funny. | ||
| Super Christian. | ||
| Yeah, he's super Christian, super right-wing. | ||
| So I just had him calling, like, Justin Bieber, like, asking him, like, come on, man, you transition. | ||
| Like, you used to be a woman, you know? | ||
| Because he just kind of looks kind of feminine, and just the conversations they would have, like, you guys are coming from that cuck town, you know, Stephen Baldwin just talking about L.A., whether you got my daughter living over there, and, you know, cuck town, so what's going on? | ||
| So you're just joking around. | ||
| Joking around, and about Alec being there, and then Alec and Stephen going at it. | ||
| Like, that family's fun, because you follow Billy Baldwin, he's like... | ||
| Crazy woke. | ||
| Is he really? | ||
| Yeah, Billy Baldwin's like left wing, left wing. | ||
| And then Steven is like crazy right wing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And then you got Alec who's like pretends to be left wing. | ||
| So, and then you got Justin Bieber's now in that family. | ||
| It's just a funny family dinner. | ||
| They got you for that? | ||
| But all these things are just you commenting on stuff. | ||
| It's just comedy. | ||
| And talking shit. | ||
| Yeah, just talking shit. | ||
| This is a scary thing about YouTube is that you don't know what's gonna be the thing that triggers you getting a strike and you can only get three strikes and they'll remove your channel. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| And I was talking about all things that happen that are in reality. | ||
| And we're just joking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just talk. | |
| Just fucking around. | ||
| It's just fucking jokes. | ||
| Fucking shit. | ||
| Like, there's got to be a way to label your channels. | ||
| Like, this is comedy. | ||
| Look, if you don't like it, like, what's this thing? | ||
| Like, you don't like something, you get it banned. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What the hell is that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, Putin? | ||
| Are you Putin? | ||
| But they think they're shaping culture. | ||
| That's what's interesting. | ||
| They think by denying... | ||
| Yeah, Putin thinks he's doing that too. | ||
| Denying certain things that they think are toxic. | ||
| Certain opinions they think are toxic. | ||
| Even toxic comedy. | ||
| Like, how can you speak on behalf of what other people like? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Well, it's a problem with limiting free speech. | ||
| When you limit free speech, you make it subjective. | ||
| Like, what is acceptable and what's not? | ||
| And a lot of times it's based on what other people think people should do and say instead of what, you know, just allowing a person to be themselves. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, those are the tenets of fascism. | ||
| People like people talking shit about things. | ||
| Yes, people just talk and having fun. | ||
| And people have different tastes. | ||
| I mean, comedians are actually the only barometer that exists for you to know if you're free. | ||
| I mean, if comics weren't crossing the line, how would you know you're free? | ||
| You wouldn't. | ||
| That's the only real barometer out there that kind of lets you know that freedom is still happening. | ||
| Hear, hear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Giannis Papas, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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