March 1, 2022 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:37:05
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! | ||
| Salute! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Salute! | |
| Welcome, Freddie, Brian Moses. | ||
| Good to see you, gentlemen. | ||
| Thanks for coming. | ||
| How's Texas treating you? | ||
| Back in this thing. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| We went to a BYOB strip club last night. | ||
| Oh, boy. | ||
| That's always rough. | ||
| I'm the BYOB king. | ||
| Bring your own bitches. | ||
| Bring your own bullets. | ||
| Bring your own bullets. | ||
| Bullets, for sure. | ||
| Bring your own motherfucking bullets. | ||
| The only thing it was was not bring your own blacks. | ||
| They had plenty of that there last night. | ||
| Then we showed up. | ||
| You go to the racist shit. | ||
| Jumping it off. | ||
| This is the last day of white guilt month. | ||
| We're going out with a bang. | ||
| They're trying to get my man Rogan. | ||
| We can't be racist no more. | ||
| You can try. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| Can we say nigga? | ||
| You can. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You can. | ||
| Well, if I want to say it, I'll just pause and then just fill in the blanks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just send it off to me. | ||
| Just send it off to me, man. | ||
| Just send it off to me, Joe. | ||
| You can't say that shit, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because you pissed niggas off when you did that compilation. | ||
| It was funny as fuck, though. | ||
| I can't even lie. | ||
| But, you know... | ||
| Well, I didn't mean it as a compilation. | ||
| But they made a compilation. | ||
| Oh, I am aware. | ||
| That shit was crazy. | ||
| Yeah, not good. | ||
| But, hey, man, look, I don't think you're a racist, my nigga. | ||
| You my nigga. | ||
| I fuck with you. | ||
| I never thought you was a racist. | ||
| I just think you're just saying some shit you should have said. | ||
| And a lot of us niggas say some stuff that we shouldn't say sometimes. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| But that's the only word that, like, you can't say no matter what. | ||
| Nah, you gotta give that to us. | ||
| That's the thing I want to tell white people right now. | ||
| Y'all just gotta let us have that. | ||
| Like, quit trying to... | ||
| Just let us have, nigga. | ||
| We got it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, there's one thing, you know what I mean? | ||
| Y'all already human trafficked us over here. | ||
| Let us have that. | ||
| It's the most powerful world... | ||
| World? | ||
| It's the most powerful word... | ||
| Not the English language, just every one of them. | ||
| Well, it's the most versatile, too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| As far as, like, it could either be hateful, coming out of a white person's mouth, or ignorant, or it could be, for a black person, it could be a punchline. | ||
| It could be a term of endearment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It could be many things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like what Bernie Mac said about a motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Motherfuckers, you know, versatile. | ||
| See, niggas are now. | ||
| It's niggas are now. | ||
| The person plays the thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a lot of things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a verb, too. | ||
| It's also pound for pound the greatest slur in history, you know? | ||
| The problem is there's no real slur that's stuck with white people. | ||
| Alonzo had a bit about it. | ||
| Alonzo Bowden? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| I forget how it worked. | ||
| No slur that stuck with white people? | ||
| Honky never really stuck. | ||
| Honky ain't really. | ||
| Honky don't sound good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cracker. | |
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cracker. | |
| Nope. | ||
| They got another compilation coming now. | ||
| Joe's being racist about white people. | ||
| I try. | ||
| I mean, cracker just... | ||
| Whitey, honky. | ||
| It don't sound fresh. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You can say it, but it just sounds like some shit to old niggas. | ||
| There's just a lot attached to nigger, though. | ||
| You said, you put C, there you go. | ||
| You transformed the word. | ||
| You put the R on it, didn't you? | ||
| I stuck to land it, bro. | ||
| That changes shit. | ||
| That changes shit when you say that. | ||
| Even when black people say it with the hard R, it sounds funny. | ||
| What is that word that South Africans have? | ||
| They have a word. | ||
| It was in Lethal Weapon. | ||
| Remember that movie? | ||
| Yeah, which one? | ||
| One of the ones where the evil people were the South African people, the apartheid people. | ||
| What they call black people? | ||
| Africans. | ||
| They have a different word. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Akata or something like that? | |
| Yeah, something like that. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| Like a cotton-picking nigga. | ||
| That's what they call American niggas. | ||
| Bro, Spotify's not airing this episode. | ||
| They have to. | ||
| They got to. | ||
| They have to. | ||
| Hey, fuck Neil Young, man. | ||
| Let me say something about Neil Young. | ||
| Hey, Neil Young, man, I know you want to get Joe off this motherfucker, right? | ||
| But look, my nigga, you pulled your shit off. | ||
| But would you have pulled it if it was only the nigga shit? | ||
| If you thought Joe was a racist, would you have stood up for niggas? | ||
| I think not. | ||
| No, yeah, Neil didn't say anything when the N-word drop came out. | ||
| He didn't say nothing about that. | ||
| He was all about that vaccine and misinformation. | ||
| In his defense, that was before. | ||
| He did his thing before. | ||
| Well, he should have doubled back for niggas. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Only thing I was mad at you, Joe, man, you fucked up with India R.E., man. | ||
| You had a lot of bitches that couldn't put their Shea Butter on when she pulled that motherfucker shit off Spotify. | ||
| You fucked up Shea Butter for niggas with India R.E., man. | ||
| Shout out to India R.E. Please put your music back up. | ||
| We love you, baby girl. | ||
| I love her, too. | ||
| I love her voice. | ||
| Joe didn't mean this. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| I also support what she's saying. | ||
| One of the things that she's saying is that why doesn't she get paid well for streams? | ||
| It's a predatory business, man. | ||
| It is. | ||
| The music business, the way the record companies own the artists, you could speak to this. | ||
| Yeah, I'm out of this shit. | ||
| I'm about to do a podcast, man. | ||
| Are you? | ||
| Yeah, fuck this rap shit. | ||
| This podcast shit makes way more motherfucking money than the motherfucking price of the motherfucking stream of some rap shit. | ||
| Wait a minute, hold on, let's go back to any of that already. | ||
| She jumped on your scandal so she could push her own agenda? | ||
| I think she was genuinely upset. | ||
| She had a right to be upset? | ||
| Yes, but I also think that she uses it as an opportunity to express her plight. | ||
| You know, express herself about her plight, because artists that don't own their music, someone else got your music before, and a lot of them it was before streaming even existed, right? | ||
| So they had these contracts where they thought they were selling records, and you'd sell records for a certain amount of time, and then someone else would own the right to the music, but that's fine, you already sold the records, you got your piece or whatever. | ||
| It's a predatory business. | ||
| If you don't know the equation, you're not going to succeed. | ||
| Most artists don't know that your rate of debt versus your rate of recoupment. | ||
| In terms of how much money they spend promoting you. | ||
| If a label give you a million dollars, you're only going to recoup that. | ||
| If your percentage per se is like 20%, you're only going to recoup that at the 20% rate. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It just sounds like musical slavery. | ||
| And then once you recoup that at that 20% rate, so how long would it take you to recoup a million dollars at a 20% rate? | ||
| And then once, if you recoup that, You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You start gaining at a 20% rate. | ||
| Courtney Love broke it down in an article once. | ||
| She wrote an article explaining how they do their mathematics, like how they do their accounting. | ||
| The math and music is fucked up. | ||
| The crazy thing is that they kept it going even after streaming came along because the record sales were gone. | ||
| And now the way they do it, they have a piece, they make these deals with the artists where they have the piece of your merchandise, they have a piece of your live, Like the live, yes! | ||
| The live used to be all the artists. | ||
| 360. Yeah, but now they got a piece of everything. | ||
| Because they had to, because they don't sell records anymore. | ||
| So they have the streaming, they have a little piece of this, a little piece of that, they got a piece of everything. | ||
| Most artists. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not Freddie Gibbs. | ||
| Well, you're popular enough that you can escape. | ||
| There's like a thing called escape velocity. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| This motherfucker's more popular than me that's fucked. | ||
| Yeah, they got stuck in a contract though, right? | ||
| Yeah, it is what it is. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It just depends on what level of this game you want to be. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I really didn't give a fuck about being super famous as a motherfucking rapper, man. | ||
| I wanted to turn a profit, you know what I mean? | ||
| And use this to put me in positions to do other things as well, because I'm definitely more versatile than just a rapper, you know? | ||
| Well, you have the most important thing for podcasts. | ||
| You got authenticity. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| He's a real nigga. | ||
| Real nigga. | ||
| We counting the niggas, Spotify? | ||
| It doesn't count if you guys say it. | ||
| It's clean. | ||
| It's clean. | ||
| We're at zero. | ||
| Clean bill of health for this motherfucker, man. | ||
| We done brought Joe back, man. | ||
| We done brought Joe back! | ||
| Joe, yeah. | ||
| The last couple days of Black History, my Joe was like, fuck it. | ||
| Not a good month for it. | ||
| Not a good month for it. | ||
| Well, you know, this is my favorite two weeks of the year. | ||
| I know something you could do. | ||
| You could donate some shit, Joe. | ||
| What are you going to donate to? | ||
| To the hood. | ||
| Like, I got some little shit you could donate to. | ||
| Some hood shit and gear. | ||
| You could rebuild a park. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I'd be happy to. | ||
| See? | ||
| There we go. | ||
| See? | ||
| That's how we make progress, niggas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| Nigga. | ||
| People think drug dealers don't give back to the community. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| But look though, we had conversations with crack and then Joe's gonna build it back up with money. | ||
| Well, I've been talking about that forever. | ||
| It's full circle, motherfucker. | ||
| I've been talking about that forever. | ||
| It's about time I put my money within my mouth. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| I mean, I got some programs you could, you know, We're good to, man. | ||
| And niggas will really love that, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And then what can a motherfucker say, man? | ||
| How come when people are talking about pulling their stuff off Spotify, they didn't say, go put your music on a black platform, streaming platform? | ||
| Do they have streaming platforms for black people? | ||
| Yeah, nigga. | ||
| Title. | ||
| Jay-Z on one. | ||
| No, they sold that to Twitter, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or Jack Dorsey? | |
| I don't know the business of some shit, I guess. | ||
| I thought that JJ would, you know, shout out to Jay-Z, he was the first motherfucker to do that, you know what I mean? | ||
| What did Kanye do? | ||
| He did some crazy thing where you have to buy a player to listen to his music? | ||
| Genius. | ||
| He did the Louis C.K. thing, basically. | ||
| You gotta go to my website and buy this shit. | ||
| You gotta go buy a Walkman to listen to Kanye new shit. | ||
| It really is. | ||
|
unidentified
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What is this? | |
| Like, what is this? | ||
| Okay, a stem player. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| I thought that was a vibrator. | ||
| It looks like one of them containers where a girl keeps the pill. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Doesn't it look like the pill? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So, okay, look at this. | ||
| Or like one of those Simon Says. | ||
| Whoa, look at this shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He probably designed this thing. | |
| I think he bought it. | ||
| He bought it, but it looks like something he would design. | ||
| Wouldn't it look like something Kanye would design? | ||
| Kanye's in the future, bro. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| He's in another realm, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nigga, what do you plug into Ox? | |
| There is an Auxbox port. | ||
| Oh, it's an Auxbox port over there. | ||
| So is there a headphones port? | ||
| You have to get separate headphones? | ||
| No, so there's a little port for that. | ||
| What you can do here, he's remixing the stems, like there's a vocal stem, bass stem, sample stem, and drums, and you can sort of loop it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| So you can change like the... | ||
| You can remix it live. | ||
| A synthesizer? | ||
| He's doing it right there. | ||
| So you can remix his shit. | ||
| What? | ||
| You can also remix your own shit there too. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, it's not just a player. | ||
| This is brilliant. | ||
| I'm going to tell you niggas this. | ||
| I'm not letting you niggas remix my shit. | ||
| The way it come out is the way it come out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have no stems. | |
| None of that motherfucker. | ||
| You're one of them chefs. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You can't change the world. | ||
| No, remix that shit yourself, man. | ||
| You can't modify this shit. | ||
| I feel you entirely, but I do love a remix. | ||
| You know what I love? | ||
| Have you ever heard when they put Big E in with the White Album? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jay-Z and the Beatles, the Grey album. | |
| That's the mash-up shit. | ||
| But a bunch of people have done these. | ||
| R. Kelly is the king of the remix. | ||
| But the Jay-Z and the White album, 99 Problems. | ||
| Well, they did 99 Problems with Hendrix, too. | ||
| Did you ever hear that? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's voodoo child mixed with 99 Problems. | ||
| It's outstanding. | ||
| I'm with it. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| We can't talk about remixes without R. Kelly, man. | ||
| He put the R in R&B, man. | ||
| I thought Puffy created the remix. | ||
| R. Kelly do some fire remixes, too, man. | ||
| He do some fire remixes. | ||
| Did he remix? | ||
| Did he remix nigga, too? | ||
| R. Kelly is a very talented pedophile. | ||
| Damn, man. | ||
| Probably the most talented pedophile outside of Woody Allen. | ||
| It's hard to tell. | ||
| Are we ranking him? | ||
| I bet some of them have died. | ||
| Woody Allen's a piece of shit. | ||
| And they didn't get caught. | ||
| Woody Allen's a piece of shit, because he's still out. | ||
| He's still out. | ||
| He's still out there. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| Somebody need to head up a Burris, that nigga, like they did Cosby. | ||
| They've been trying, bro, but you know. | ||
| That nigga fucked his stepdaughter. | ||
| So didn't Jerry Lee Lewis do that too? | ||
| I'm so glad I'm not the one talking about this. | ||
| That's some sick shit. | ||
| No, Jerry Lee Lewis married like a cousin, I think. | ||
| Damn, well. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| A cousin. | ||
| Well, damn. | ||
| That's the least of his problems. | ||
| There's some other stuff that he did. | ||
| That's the least of his problems. | ||
| I mean, I don't want to speak out of turn because I don't know exactly what's real and what's not. | ||
| There's too many compilations. | ||
| 13-year-old cousin. | ||
| He had a 13-year-old cousin. | ||
| He married her. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| A tabloid sensation at the time tarnished Lewis's reputation and did some damage to his career. | ||
| So in 1958... | ||
| In some parts of the country, you could still marry a 13 year old. | ||
| That's what we're learning. | ||
| Like, that's how crazy the world has changed in a short amount of time. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That since 1958, he thought it was totally normal to marry a 13-year-old while he was famous. | ||
| I think in some of these states, like the legal age of consent is still like teen shit. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There's some country monkey breadneck shit going on in this motherfucker. | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| Let's take a guess. | ||
| What do you think the youngest age of consent in this country is? | ||
| Let's just take a guess. | ||
| 16. 16? | ||
| 14, I think, in some states. | ||
| I bet it's different for boys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I bet there's an age consent for boys that's younger than that. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| I think there is. | ||
| Look up the age of consent for boys in New Mexico. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| For having sex, you're saying? | ||
|
unidentified
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Uh-huh. | |
| Okay, to have sex, okay. | ||
| To have consensual sex. | ||
| I think there was some wacky laws that they made back in the day, and it could have been something to do with famous, important people that had something to do with fucking kids. | ||
| Why is that a thing? | ||
| It is a thing. | ||
| It is a thing. | ||
| It's a terrible taboo that everyone scared is real. | ||
| I don't know what's real. | ||
| It says it's legal for an adult, someone 18... | ||
| Oh, it's illegal for someone 18-year-old to have sex with a minor, someone younger than 16. Okay, so 16 is the age. | ||
| I hit it on the head. | ||
| Did it used to be younger? | ||
| There's something here where it says, yeah, 13 to 16, but depending on how much older the other person was. | ||
| Okay, anyone between the age of 13 and 16 can consent with a sex with a person who is no more than four years their senior. | ||
| Well, that's kind of normal. | ||
| It's like high school. | ||
| Yeah, well, 16 to 20 is a little weird, but like 13 to 17, eh, that's a little weird, too. | ||
| I mean, basically, we're talking about euphoria, right? | ||
| Because that's like, you know, high schoolers having sex. | ||
| I didn't watch that. | ||
| Is that good? | ||
| I was watching that shit last night. | ||
| I was like, damn. | ||
| Is it good? | ||
| Is it crazy? | ||
| Some good shit. | ||
| What is it about? | ||
| Just some high school shit, motherfuckers doing dope, fucking, you know, shit like that. | ||
| Remember that movie Kids? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I feel like I've heard it's like that. | ||
| It's in that realm. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's dope. | ||
| Kids the musical. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's a weird choice for a show to make. | ||
| What? | ||
| High school just fucking? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And doing drugs? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I mean, what are you doing in high school, you know? | ||
| I mean, they do do it. | ||
| There's grown motherfuckers playing the roles. | ||
| I remember being in junior high, I saw a girl, she snorted crystal meth at the playground. | ||
| Oh my god, in high school? | ||
| Drugs are a thing, but I'm from the high desert. | ||
| Dude, I've been watching this YouTube series. | ||
| That's like white high school shit, man. | ||
| Yeah, it was Mexican. | ||
| Like, we was just smoking some weed and drinking some drink in the bathroom with Gary. | ||
| We wasn't dead. | ||
| Niggas in my high school wasn't snortin' no goddamn point. | ||
| I didn't really have a lot of niggas in my high school. | ||
| That's like heavy pill community when you start smoking crystal meth at school. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got no guidance. | ||
| It's a desolate area. | ||
| You got no guidance. | ||
| I've been watching this YouTube series. | ||
| It's called Soft White Underbelly. | ||
| Have you heard of it? | ||
| No. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Dude, I'm telling you, it's fucking crazy. | ||
| It's a great YouTube channel, and one of the things it has on it is this inbred family from the Appalachian Mountains. | ||
| Dude, it's the craziest shit. | ||
| This one guy barks like a dog. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, this was a guy who's a mountain man. | ||
| They had him up there. | ||
| But he also, he interviews gambling addicts. | ||
| He interviews people that are hooked on crystal meth. | ||
| He interviewed a few meth heads, a skinhead. | ||
| He interviewed a con man. | ||
| I've watched like 10 of them over the last week. | ||
| The guy's great. | ||
| They out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He just lets these people express themselves. | |
| Where's the dental plan? | ||
| Appalachians, they don't have a dental plan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| They don't even have toothbrushes. | ||
| Guys, when that guy was growing up, I bet they had no toothbrushes. | ||
| He has three teeth. | ||
| Aren't they like coal miners and shit out there? | ||
| In some areas, yeah. | ||
| I mean, in some areas, there's parts of Appalachia that are like gentrified now, or they have like regular houses and normal people, and it's like a... | ||
| Like a normal city, but there's parts of Appalachia that don't have any electricity, you know, they live, you know, very far away from a lot of society and there's a history of drug abuse up there unfortunately and deep poverty and this guy interviewed quite a few of these people and he interviewed this one family that was inbred and he interviewed this one guy who Basically, he was just talking about like we weren't poor because we had everything we needed. | ||
| We could live off the land. | ||
| We hunted for our food. | ||
| We fished. | ||
| But it's like he's living a subsistence lifestyle. | ||
| That was the guy with the mountain man with three teeth. | ||
| It's interesting shit, man. | ||
| I think he lost the teeth from the drugs. | ||
| I don't know if it's necessarily just doing the... | ||
| It might have been, but I don't think so. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I'm looking at him. | ||
| It's hard to tell, though, man. | ||
| It's hard to tell, like, who's doing meth. | ||
| But there's... | ||
| Have you ever seen the wonderful whites of West Virginia? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| Something like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, those people... | ||
| That part of the country is just obsessed with pills or just infested with pills. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| I don't even like driving through there on tour. | ||
| I'd be like, fuck this shit. | ||
| I'm catching a plane. | ||
| It's scary as shit, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, they still might lynch you. | |
| Those people just got a shitty roll of the dice, man. | ||
| That's where you grew up. | ||
| You just got a bum roll of the dice. | ||
| Until we realized that as Americans, that not everybody started in the same spot, we're never going to fix anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We gotta realize, all this pull you up by your bootstrap shit, where the fuck were your bootstraps? | ||
| Where were they? | ||
| Were your bootstraps in a gang-infested neighborhood? | ||
| Were your bootstraps in a trailer park in Appalachia? | ||
| Where the fuck were your bootstraps? | ||
| You got no goddamn boots. | ||
| You might have been in Connecticut, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You might have grew up in New Haven, Connecticut. | |
| That's the first time I came on here talking about that. | ||
| It's all about education. | ||
| Just feed them a book, you know what I mean? | ||
| Well, it's also about the culture you're growing up in, you know, and how safe you are, how safe you are to even explore ideas. | ||
| You might just be trying to survive. | ||
| You're living in the Appalachian, your fucking parents are on pills, and they punch you every time you try to eat food. | ||
| I mean, what the fuck? | ||
| That's a little kid out there that's probably having... | ||
| He's probably having that experience right now. | ||
| It could be a cultural thing if we're really getting into it, though, right? | ||
| Because not every... | ||
| Faction of people are like that, right? | ||
| We're talking about people in the inner city, like gang culture. | ||
| That's a culture of gang violence. | ||
| They're growing up in that, right? | ||
| But if you look at, let's say, maybe a Jewish neighborhood, right? | ||
| They're not punching their kids, you know what I mean? | ||
| Losing the teeth, doing the drugs kind of a thing. | ||
| They don't have a bunch of gangs running around kind of a thing. | ||
| Italian neighborhoods, right? | ||
| You don't really see all that kind of stuff. | ||
| So I'm saying it really does take a village. | ||
| What do you mean they ain't got no gang? | ||
| They got the mafia. | ||
| Yeah, but are they running around killing, you know? | ||
| They used to be. | ||
| The FBI kind of obliterated them. | ||
| So that helped the community more? | ||
| I mean, why isn't it helping us? | ||
| It's a good point. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You know, one of the things I always say, it's like, if you want to make America great again, or you want to make America better, you gotta have less losers. | ||
| What's the way to have less losers? | ||
| Give people a chance to succeed. | ||
| So you look at the people who have the worst chances of succeeding. | ||
| It's people that grow up in crime-infested, drug-infested, gang-infested neighborhoods. | ||
| Because everywhere around you is terrible examples, and mostly what people do is we imitate our atmosphere. | ||
| And when your atmosphere is filled with terrible examples of crime, drugs, gang violence, all kinds of violence, it's casual murder. | ||
| You know, that's people in parts of this country. | ||
| But that comes from lack of opportunity, though. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It also comes from lack of attention. | ||
| Like, if you looked at the United States as an organism, right? | ||
| And you said, oh, well, the organism has these spots that are sick. | ||
| Very, very obvious spots. | ||
| You know, South Side of Chicago, Detroit. | ||
| Look at these spots. | ||
| Some of them you understand. | ||
| How did this happen? | ||
| Oh, Detroit, they took the fucking car manufacturing business, and they moved it to another place, and these people didn't have jobs, and they were fucked, and they were stuck there, and they didn't have enough money to leave, they just shut everything down. | ||
| So you get rampant. | ||
| You could buy a house in Detroit for like a thousand dollars. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That is in Gary. | ||
| I'm not bullshitting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Same thing in Gary with the steel industry. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And then I just looked at some stuff the other day. | ||
| It was like the steel industry shrunk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's shrinking even more now. | ||
| It's like 43% of the steel last year was imported. | ||
| Isn't the water in Flint, Michigan still fucked up? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Motherfucker water looks like this goddamn... | ||
| What's going on with the water in Flint, Michigan? | ||
| Is it still fucked up? | ||
| Oh, that Flint water. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember when Obama drank it on the air? | |
| I'm gonna drink this water. | ||
| It's not a stunt. | ||
| He had the most baby sip of this water. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he didn't want to die. | ||
| Nah, he didn't want to die. | ||
| It was a black nigga that came with a truck and was making clean water out there, motherfucker, and they shut his shit down. | ||
| He was making clean water and they shut it down? | ||
| Like a filter system? | ||
| You can Google that shit, man. | ||
| Oh, he probably didn't have a permit. | ||
| Why did Obama drink like that? | ||
| If you're going to have a glass of some bullshit water, take a fucking sip. | ||
| It wasn't the same thing with Bush when he ate in China and he threw up because it was like, it was poisoned or something like that? | ||
| Who? | ||
| H.W. Bush? | ||
| What happened with him? | ||
| Oh, he threw up. | ||
| He threw up in someone's lap or some shit, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And he didn't eat much. | ||
| You know, I don't even know the story. | ||
| He might have just been old and tired. | ||
| At that point? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but that... | |
| And just ate some food and threw up. | ||
| Yeah, the joy... | ||
| Yeah, there we go. | ||
| Yeah, the fucking... | ||
| Oh my God, he fainted after vomiting in the guy's lap. | ||
| Gastroentonitis. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Gastroentonitis. | ||
| Yeah, gastro... | ||
| Okay, so he had... | ||
| So it wasn't... | ||
| Well, that's what gastro... | ||
| There was a person who was poisoned, though. | ||
| It wasn't ours. | ||
| What does gastroentonitis mean? | ||
| Is that food poisoning? | ||
| I had stomachache. | ||
| Stomachache. | ||
| Oh, stomachache. | ||
| Oh, he had the shits. | ||
| He ain't had nothing but the bubble guts. | ||
| And he fell asleep. | ||
| He blacked out. | ||
| What'd he eat? | ||
| Some sushi? | ||
| I mean, it's just the most disrespectful shit. | ||
| Oh, I knew it, man. | ||
| Sushi. | ||
| You know, if he wasn't a World War II veteran, I'd be like, listen, you can't be present anymore if you keep fainting. | ||
| He just blacked out and threw up in the dude's lap! | ||
| That's crazy! | ||
| So I remember at the time they said they thought they did this on purpose, the Chinese delegation or whatever. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Well, you know what, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think that job... | |
| I think that job wrecks people, man. | ||
| I think that job wrecks people. | ||
| I think the amount of attention that you get when you're working that job is probably off the charts. | ||
| You probably can't sleep. | ||
| Look at Obama's hair went gray almost immediately. | ||
| Trump looked better. | ||
| Trump looked better. | ||
| Dude, Trump skated through it. | ||
| He skated through it. | ||
| Trump didn't age at all. | ||
| It was just taking Adderall and riding the wave. | ||
| If I had to guess, I think Trump's one of those dudes where he doesn't do drugs unless the doctor prescribes it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, there's a part of our parents' era where like, I don't do drugs! | ||
| Meanwhile, they're on Xanax. | ||
| Like, hey, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| You're on a crazy drug! | ||
| That's a crazy drug! | ||
| And you're drinking! | ||
| Yeah, you're drinking and you do Xanax. | ||
| You tell them you don't do drugs? | ||
| How convenient! | ||
| Popping perks, right? | ||
| That's what drives me crazy, is when they're mad at weed smokers. | ||
| Like, we are the only ones The only ones. | ||
| That when we're high, we're nicer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're the only ones. | ||
| When I'm high, I'm so friendly. | ||
| I want to hug everybody. | ||
| I'm never angry when I'm high. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You don't care about that shit. | ||
| I just want camaraderie and friendship and love. | ||
| And that's an illegal drug? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And the fucking people that are drinking and popping Xanax, they're upset at you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Weed brings us together. | ||
| Definitely does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's a lot of things that weed also highlights that make you super uncomfortable. | ||
| You know, people get high and they get paranoid as fuck, but I think it's because you should be. | ||
| There's a fucking war going on right now. | ||
| There's a crazy war going on right now in Russia. | ||
| Excuse me, in Ukraine. | ||
| I've been I spent the last day and a half watching videos on it trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and it's Complicated it's really complicated, but what it seems is that Russia is worried that Ukraine has massive reserves of oil and of gas and so Russia took over Crimea and Crimea It denies them access to a lot of their coastline when Russia did that And then Ukraine was apparently, | ||
| they were trying to, or at least in talks, to join NATO. I'm sorry if I fuck any of this up, because I'm just remembering what I read, and what I watched in videos. | ||
| But what they're essentially saying is that Crimea and Ukraine, like, they want that for the natural resources, and also because if that was NATO-owned, if they were a part of NATO, rather, then they could park missiles. | ||
| In Ukraine and pointing towards Russia. | ||
| It's wild shit. | ||
| That's what I was reading, basically. | ||
| They used to all be in the same country. | ||
| Not that long ago. | ||
| They were all part of the Soviet Union. | ||
| NATO and Russia obviously don't get along, so it's like, yeah, if there's a sovereign nation being like, hey, like flirting with NATO, they're like, no, I don't want your military bases here. | ||
| It's obviously horrific. | ||
| That's going to create World War III. It's obviously horrific. | ||
| I'm not in any way saying that I'm on the side of the Russians in any way. | ||
| I'm definitely not. | ||
| But what I'm saying is this is what's going on. | ||
| I'm just trying to relay the information as I know it as what the conflict is without a judgment. | ||
| I'm not making any judgment. | ||
| I see all these people making these judgments on whether or not this is a good war, a bad war, and I'm like, man, how much do we know? | ||
| How much time has anybody spent studying Ukraine, Russia? | ||
| No such thing as good war. | ||
| No such thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Missiles, they're firing into apartment buildings. | ||
| Like, there's no way those are the good guys. | ||
| You shoot a missile in a fucking apartment building, like, what the fuck is happening? | ||
| If you're not valuing life, you can't be a good person. | ||
| Shit, the U.S. do it all the time. | ||
| That's the point! | ||
| This is what I was gonna get to. | ||
| Somebody put a chart up, which is wild, of all of the airstrikes that happened over the last, like, 48 hours. | ||
| They're constantly going on! | ||
| These airstrikes, and the wild thing is the drone move. | ||
| The drone move is like, you can be in war and you're not even really there. | ||
| Like, you don't even have to have a reason to enter a country. | ||
| And you could launch missiles from robots. | ||
| And you could be in Nevada, bro, with an Xbox controller. | ||
| Controlling it. | ||
| Just murdering people. | ||
| Well, if you're smart, you've played video games against someone who really knows how to use one of those fucking controllers. | ||
| If you had a guy and he really knew his shit, wouldn't you recruit him to work for the fucking army? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I've also been saying this about, like, peeping Toms. | ||
| Get you a drone, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| Stay in your mom's basement. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Don't go in the trees and the bushes. | ||
| Don't go giving them any ideas. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| But for real, if they can make a drone that would respond the same way an Xbox controller would respond, who is going to beat Americans? | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| We just have robot wars. | ||
| We have the best. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But actually, who's the best at Xbox? | ||
| Is there one country, Jamie? | ||
| You would know this. | ||
| Is there one country that dominates at Call of Duty? | ||
| I think it's Korea. | ||
| Oh, they dominate a lot of video games. | ||
| Korea dominates a lot. | ||
| It's like those E-leagues, right? | ||
| I think those kids kill it. | ||
| They felt stadiums over there. | ||
| They do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stadiums. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| With people playing video games. | ||
| Like, they did it with StarCraft and... | ||
| What country kicks the most ass at video games? | ||
| Hard to say the game. | ||
| Okay, let's go Call of Duty. | ||
| It's mostly an American-based game, but they're playing it in every country, and there's people that cheat in every country, so you couldn't cheat when you're doing drone strikes and stuff. | ||
| Of course you could. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| That would be perfect. | ||
| You could, but that's not cheating. | ||
| That's just drone striking. | ||
| That's not cheating. | ||
| That's just using all advantages. | ||
| Tell them to the war in the metaverse. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The thing is, if you can get a person to do it, there are dudes that are so goddamn good with those controllers. | ||
| They play so many video games. | ||
| All they would have to do is make a video game sort of interface where the guy is watching the drone, the drone looks like it's in a video game, and he would never miss. | ||
| Never. | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| Just be lighting people up. | ||
| They already got that shit. | ||
| What? | ||
| I'm sure they do. | ||
| That's just the shit he talking about. | ||
| I'm sure they do, right? | ||
| I mean, we have propaganda for it. | ||
| Then we have, like, ads about, like, you know, join the army, you can do this kind of a thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Play video games and kill people. | |
| The more I pay attention, the more I think these UFO sightings, a lot of these UFO sightings are military aircraft they're developing. | ||
| The more I think about it, the more I think about how willing they are to talk about it, they're willing to talk about the fact that, you know, that there are these ships that they can't track and they're moving at insane rates of speed. | ||
| They're willing to talk about it. | ||
| It's like one of two things. | ||
| Either it's aliens or they've developed some kind of crazy technology, some anti-gravitational technology. | ||
| I think it's aliens. | ||
| It could be. | ||
| But it might not be. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| We can develop a lot of shit. | ||
| We can develop nuclear power. | ||
| We can develop nuclear missiles, hypersonic jets, jets that go faster than the speed of sound, spaceships. | ||
| We can develop a lot of shit. | ||
| If they could just figure out a way to develop something that distorts gravity. | ||
| You know because this has always been the thought of it like a thing that can distort gravity can act instead of like a like Bob Lazar talked about this when he talked about back-engineering UFOs instead of like blowing fire out of the back of a rocket There's something that just distorts gravity can go to a place almost instantaneously. | ||
| Yo, we need that. | ||
| They're gonna figure that out man. | ||
| Because is airplanes air travels weak right now It'll be instantaneous. | ||
| What's up with the defense of humans versus humans, though? | ||
| I mean, like, I know it's human nature, but maybe it's an earthling thing even, but we spend so much money and so much brainpower on just, like, defending each other from each other. | ||
| I mean, what's the point? | ||
| Very rarely individually. | ||
| The thing is, it's almost all in groups. | ||
| We're fucked because our heritage, all of our ancestors, came from these small groups of people that huddled up together to stay alive, and everybody outside of our group was the enemy. | ||
| So we all have this programming that sucks, and this programming is based on ancient history. | ||
| It's based on a time where there was no internet, there was no international travel, there was no... | ||
| Everywhere you went, if a boat showed up on your shore, those were murderers. | ||
| That was like eight times out of ten. | ||
| They would let you know they had a flag with a skull on it. | ||
| Bro, they had a flag with a fucking skull on it. | ||
| All over North America. | ||
| There's Captain Cooks, all that shit. | ||
| Those are bad motherfuckers. | ||
| They would show up. | ||
| If someone showed up, if it was like Christopher Columbus, if he showed up, if you knew what the fuck was gonna happen, you would have grabbed everybody and ran for the hills. | ||
| You would have never stayed near those crazy fucks. | ||
| First of all, the diseases. | ||
| Second of all, the brutality. | ||
| I was reading this thing about Columbus where they were talking about Columbus hacked off people's arms, like not him himself, but his people. | ||
| There was a preacher that came with them, and they would tell these people, because the people brought them gold as gifts, and they said, you've got to bring back your weight in gold. | ||
| And when they didn't, they would just hack off one of their arms and send them back out there to get gold. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| A priest wrote about it in his journal. | ||
| That's our American hero, Christopher Columbus. | ||
| The whole team of them were sociopaths and murderers. | ||
| He did that to the Native Americans? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You piece of shit, Christopher Columbus. | ||
| So you're like a cartel, basically. | ||
| That's the most brutal, but not even the worst of it. | ||
| The worst of it was the diseases. | ||
| Now they think that's what killed off the Mayans. | ||
| That's what killed off 90% of the Native Americans. | ||
| That's that COVID. It was their COVID. It was smallpox and all kinds of diseases they brought with them from Europe. | ||
| They killed everybody in the Amazon. | ||
| Dude, they're finding civilizations in the Amazon that housed millions of people. | ||
| And they're finding them through this thing called Lidar, where they fly over in jets because the jungle's overtaken all these cities. | ||
| So there used to be cities of millions of people in the Amazon. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And the Europeans showed up. | ||
| And they just got them sick and everybody died. | ||
| And when people came back to look for these cities, like 50 years later, they were gone. | ||
| Just like Detroit's almost gone. | ||
| Detroit's got houses where trees are growing in the middle of them. | ||
| But this is even crazier because it's in the middle of the jungle, so it's happening quicker. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yo, okay. | ||
| Europeans just came over and just murked everybody? | ||
| Murked everybody. | ||
| Murked everybody with their cooties. | ||
| Europeans came over here with their cooties. | ||
| They put smallpox on blankets. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's a myth, man. | ||
| That's a myth? | ||
| Yeah, most likely. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| I heard about that, too, and I looked into it. | ||
| They don't think they isolated smallpox that way. | ||
| They don't think they understood it that way. | ||
| I was going to say, that'd be pretty fucking genius. | ||
| It would be. | ||
| But they made COVID for sure. | ||
| The thing is, they probably did that. | ||
| Because it's airborne, so yeah, they were just getting the shit. | ||
| Everybody was getting it. | ||
| And it killed 90% of the Native Americans. | ||
| 90% of them, man. | ||
| I mean, you think about a disease that kills 9 out of 10 people, and it just swept through the entire continent. | ||
| And, you know, all the Mayans, they were trying to figure out, where the fuck did these people go? | ||
| They made Chichen Itza, which is, have you ever been down there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, I went down there. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| You walk amongst this place, you're like, what is this? | ||
| How did they do this? | ||
| They did this, like, a thousand plus years ago? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| What the fuck is this? | ||
| It's all lined to the different constellations. | ||
| They have a room that they have set up just to do psychedelic drugs in. | ||
| Yo! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, we had a guy who was a guide, who was a professor, this really interesting guy. | ||
| We hired this Mexican gentleman who knew everything about the Mayans, and he spoke fluent English and Spanish, so we'd explain it to you in Spanish, explain it to you in English, and he said this was a whole area where they'd take these leaves that contained lysergic acid, which is like LSD, and he was explaining this to me, and he didn't even know that I liked to do drugs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He was just telling me like I'm like a civilian. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, keep talking. | ||
| I'm like, I knew it! | ||
| I fucking knew it! | ||
| They had to be doing something. | ||
| They were so much more advanced. | ||
| All the ingenuity and all that. | ||
| I mean, I'll say this about... | ||
| I mean, you're saying Europeans came over and did this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, we weren't alive for World War II, but this conflict is the first time I've seen... | ||
| White people fight white people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, this is kind of... | ||
| I feel like this may change some things in the history books. | ||
| What are you talking about with the Russia shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Russia and the Ukraine. | ||
| Like, I've never seen this. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's always us and, you know, the Middle East or something like that. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| But now this is like... | ||
| It is a new kind of thing. | ||
| I've never... | ||
| This is in the history books. | ||
| We'll see that. | ||
| So I think there's a There's a progression in a way I think people will see like, oh, it's not just these guys are evil, white people can be evil too. | ||
| It's a human thing where people can get to a certain place where they have a certain amount of power and they want to hold on to it and they do evil shit. | ||
| It's a human thing. | ||
| Ukraine is hard though. | ||
| And they got the boxers in there. | ||
| They got Vitaly Klitschko, Vladimir Klitschko, and Lomachenko, and Usyk. | ||
| Usyk is there too. | ||
| They're all armed to the teeth. | ||
| And all the ladies out there, all the volunteers, hard, bro. | ||
| Isn't Miss Ukraine in there? | ||
| Like Miss Universe? | ||
| Wasn't she like a Miss Universe contestant? | ||
| I saw a picture that they said that was an airsoft gun. | ||
| Oh, they lied. | ||
| This is the problem. | ||
| There's so much lies. | ||
| They got a politician bitch I seen with the motherfucking AK-47. | ||
| Hey, Nancy Pelosi would never have an AK-47 as far as he was going motherfucking out. | ||
| Not a chance. | ||
| Not a chance. | ||
| Would Biden? | ||
| Would Trump? | ||
| Would Obama? | ||
| They got me with a parody. | ||
| They showed Steven Seagal. | ||
| It was like somebody made a parody of a CNN article that said Steven Seagal is in Ukraine. | ||
| And I was like, oh my God, if this is real. | ||
| And I lazily looked for like five minutes and then I couldn't find if it was fake or real. | ||
| And I just posted it and saying that we're about 14 hours from the aliens landing. | ||
| And people were like, why did you believe it's real? | ||
| I'll tell you why. | ||
| Steven Seagal was listed as a threat to the fucking nation of Ukraine in 2017. They won't let him in the country. | ||
| He's banned, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he's a threat to national security. | ||
| Steven Seagal, above the law, the actor. | ||
| Look at my Instagram page. | ||
| Look at my Instagram page. | ||
| Washington Post story from fucking 2017. It's a legit news source. | ||
| He was labeled a threat to national security. | ||
| Above the law. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| He is, though. | ||
| In Ukraine. | ||
| So when I saw that he was in Ukraine, it was a parody, I was like, I can believe that. | ||
| I can't believe that. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| I'm trying to find the link. | ||
| Just write Steven Seagal banned from Ukraine 2017. Sounds like a movie plot. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| Ukraine banned Steven Seagal's threat to national security. | ||
| Bro, what the fuck? | ||
| That nigga fat as fuck. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| Can he still fight like that? | ||
| What he does is a thing called Aikido, and it's a very unusual martial art in that it's really designed for samurais to fight someone with a sword. | ||
| So if you lose your sword in combat, this is the origins of it. | ||
| If you lose your sword and you come after a dude who knows Aikido, he tries to transfer the energy of your attack Like inertia? | ||
| And throw you. | ||
| Just like throws and trips and a lot of clothesline stuff. | ||
| And Steven Seagal adopted it to movies and made it very fun. | ||
| Because it did seem like a lot of motherfuckers that was fighting him was like running into him and just getting fucked up. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But that was a move. | ||
| A lot of their stuff is choreographed, unfortunately, but there is some legitimacy to some of their movements. | ||
| There's some legitimacy to these wrist locks and controlling arms and throwing people. | ||
| The problem is it won't work on someone who's like a really good wrestler. | ||
| It's like one of those things we get really good at and be an expert at it, but you still won't be as good as an expert at another martial art. | ||
| This is Steven Seagal. | ||
| Steven Seagal was a legit Aikido black belt. | ||
| But look at this. | ||
| Look at this guy's attack and he's just throwing him to the ground. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| If Daniel Cormier shot in on that dude and got a hold of his legs... | ||
| He'd crush him. | ||
| He'd hoist him up in the air and drop him on his head. | ||
| 100% of the time. | ||
| The difference between what he's doing, and he's a master at Aikido... | ||
| I mean, he really is. | ||
| He's a master. | ||
| But the difference is, it's not as good or it's not as effective a martial art as wrestling. | ||
| Or as judo or as jujitsu. | ||
| It's an interesting martial art. | ||
| But when it comes to like being able to take people down, nobody can fuck with judo. | ||
| When it comes to like with the gi grabbing sleeves and throwing. | ||
| And when it comes to like taking people down, you know, just double legs and single legs, no one can fuck with wrestlers. | ||
| So you have no one can fuck with the throws of judo guys. | ||
| No one can fuck with the takedowns of wrestlers versus this. | ||
| It's not a bad thing to learn. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's good for your health. | ||
| You get some exercise in. | ||
| I mean, sure, but yeah, that looked crazy. | ||
| Come on now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That shit didn't look like shit. | |
| I would have ran up on that dude and fucked his ass up. | ||
| Now show somebody getting jumped into a gang. | ||
| Let's see somebody getting jumped. | ||
| But let me tell you something. | ||
| He does know how to strike a little bit. | ||
| Okay, damn. | ||
| He does. | ||
| Steven Seagal does. | ||
| Like, no bullshit. | ||
| He knows how to... | ||
| There's a lot of it that's kind of nonsensical. | ||
| Okay, Steven Seagal, I'm talking shit. | ||
| Don't fuck me up. | ||
| I don't talk shit, man. | ||
| Also, he's a big fucking dude. | ||
| He is. | ||
| He's a hundred years old. | ||
| He's a hundred years old. | ||
| But he's a big dude. | ||
| Also, he know how to block all the punches and all that. | ||
| He knows how to do a lot. | ||
| Just because someone's kind of funny, it's kind of funny. | ||
| He's kind of a character, right? | ||
| Karate's Phil Jackson. | ||
| He's kind of a karate. | ||
| He's kind of like a traditional martial arts character, but he still is a legit martial artist. | ||
| Even though he's kind of funny, he does a lot of wacky movies and shit, but he runs weird. | ||
| He inspired a whole generation, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I loved him in Above the Law. | |
| In Above the Law, I loved him in that movie. | ||
| Hard to kill. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| But Above the Law was the first time you saw what I thought was realistic fight scenes. | ||
| He was young. | ||
| When he fucked people up in the bar with pool sticks and pool balls, that was realistic. | ||
| We all loved it. | ||
| What was the one he was fighting Jamaicans? | ||
| Screwface? | ||
| Look, he was this interesting, weird-looking guy. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That was one of my favorite ones. | ||
| Look at the difference, man. | ||
| He was so thin back then. | ||
| But, like, this shit seemed, it seemed at least partially believable. | ||
| Like, he seems like a guy who really does understand martial arts movements, and they're much more realistic than, say, like a dude doing a jumping sidekick to one dude's face, or Kicking two dudes at the same time, doing the splits. | ||
| We were used to that. | ||
| We were seeing a lot of that in Jackie Chan movies. | ||
| And it was fun and everything, right? | ||
| Brought a lot of father and sons together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of father and sons together. | ||
| We loved this kind of shit. | ||
| Chuck Norris movies of the shit. | ||
| I loved all those movies. | ||
| All the Bruce Lee movies, of course. | ||
| Jackie Chan came through. | ||
| Bruce Lee, obviously. | ||
| But what he did was made shit where it was a little more believable that he was fucking these guys up. | ||
| As a lifelong martial artist, in my eyes, I was like, this is all real. | ||
| This could go down this way. | ||
| The way he fucked these guys up. | ||
| And also, he looks like a mean bitch. | ||
| He looks mean. | ||
| When he was young and thin, Steven Seagal looked mean as fuck. | ||
| And I believed it. | ||
| When he was fucking guys up, it wasn't like Pierce Bronson head-kicking people, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, that was fake. | ||
| Yeah, I'm watching this guy, I'm like, this is a guy who knows how to fuck people up. | ||
| Like real John Wick shit. | ||
| I'm looking in his eyes. | ||
| Like, you look in Bruce Lee's eyes, you look in Chuck Norris's eyes. | ||
| Those are people that really know how to fuck people up. | ||
| You can see it in their eyes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I can see it in his eyes. | ||
| He knows how to fuck people up. | ||
| I mean, it's... | ||
| What about Jean-Claude Van Damme? | ||
| He knows how to fuck people up. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Jean-Claude Van Damme was a legit martial artist. | ||
| I love Jean-Claude Van Damme. | ||
| Absolute legit martial artist. | ||
| So those four basically then? | ||
| There's quite a few of them man, you know? | ||
| Michael Jai White is absolutely legit. | ||
| Michael Jai White broke the chain on the heavy bag at Legends Gym in Hollywood. | ||
| He asked Eddie Bravo, or Eddie Bravo rather, asked him to demonstrate the way he does a sidekick. | ||
| This dude does a sidekick, a hopping sidekick, slams it into the bag, the bag goes ka-ching against the chain, and the chain snaps. | ||
| That's real? | ||
| 100% real. | ||
| We were laughing, because me and Eddie were like, dude, if this was a movie, and the guy came over, like the movie star is going to demonstrate that he really knows karate, and he does a kick and it breaks the bag, he'd be like, get the fuck out of here with this movie. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| We were laughing our asses off, but he really did it. | ||
| Michael Jai White, he has perfect technique. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| There's a bunch of demonstrations of him kicking online, but I'm telling you something, the guy has perfect technique. | ||
| There's guys that maybe their knee is down too much, or maybe when they throw a kick, dude, I'm telling you, perfect technique. | ||
| Everything he does, 100% hip engagement. | ||
| Underrated. | ||
| When you watch him hit the bag. | ||
| Remember when he played Tyson? | ||
| Dog, I was about to say, that was my favorite role he ever did. | ||
| Pretty fucking good, man. | ||
| Or Spawn. | ||
| Remember when he played Spawn? | ||
| He was amazing in Spawn. | ||
| They should bring back Spawn. | ||
| Oh, they're going to bring that thing back. | ||
| They should bring him back at Spawn. | ||
| But he has a bunch of videos of him demonstrating martial arts online. | ||
| He even did like a thing with Kimbo. | ||
| They were working on a movie together and he was explaining something to Kimbo about telegraphing things. | ||
| And Kimbo was, you could tell Kimbo was like, oh shit! | ||
| It wasn't just like an actor was fucking around. | ||
| It was like, oh this guy's legit. | ||
| I've watched him, man. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| I know legit martial arts. | ||
| Michael Jai White, very legit. | ||
| Wesley Snipes, very legit. | ||
| Very legit stand-up. | ||
| 100% black belt level stand-up. | ||
| You watch him fuck people up in Blade, that's 100% Wesley Snipes. | ||
| Yeah, he went hard. | ||
| No, he's good. | ||
| But Michael Jai White had a bunch of fights. | ||
| Michael Jai White had a bunch of Kyokushin fights. | ||
| Michael Jai White is legit. | ||
| And you watch him move around. | ||
| Is that him with Josh Barnett? | ||
| Cowboy. | ||
| I thought they were really going after him. | ||
| Has he been on the podcast? | ||
| No, he hasn't. | ||
| I definitely have him on, though. | ||
| I did a thing with him back in the day. | ||
| In 1994, I was a guest host of Later. | ||
| Remember Bob Costas had Later? | ||
| And I got him on as a guest. | ||
| Because I wanted to talk to him. | ||
| It's 94! | ||
| Oh, dude, it was back in the Dizzy. | ||
| It might have been 95. It might have been even 96. But it was in the 90s. | ||
| So it was like, I think he was right when he was doing the Tyson movie. | ||
| And I was asking him, like, what, because, you know, 96, Tyson was still young and terrifying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That was a risky time to play him in a movie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I said this on the podcast before. | ||
| I met Tyson once at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. | ||
| Didn't Jamie Foxx play Tyson? | ||
| And he was looking at my mom. | ||
| Jamie Foxx is going to play Tyson. | ||
| Yeah, and he's going to play Tyson. | ||
| Oh, is he? | ||
| Yeah, he's apparently bulking up right now. | ||
| I mean, he does do the best Tyson impersonation. | ||
| He does the best everybody impersonation. | ||
| Jamie Foxx can do some fucking impersonations. | ||
| He's one of those dudes that just has too much talent. | ||
| He does so many things. | ||
| A lot of things. | ||
| Yeah, legend. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, man. | ||
| You can't just confine yourself to just music. | ||
| I looked at guys like Jamie Foxx and see that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I've been looking at him since at Living Color, and he was a versatile superstar. | ||
| Sketch actor, stand-up. | ||
| There's certain dudes that can do anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's certain guys that like, if they wanted to just play piano professionally. | ||
| Yo, I Might Need Security is like, it's a top ten for me, like, comedy special. | ||
| You ever see it? | ||
| Jamie Foxx? | ||
| No, I haven't seen that one. | ||
| I Might Need Security? | ||
| Young Jamie. | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| Early 2000s, maybe? | ||
| Late 90s? | ||
| Maybe 2000? | ||
| It's got an Ella Cool J story in it. | ||
| I might need security, bro. | ||
| That was a hood classic. | ||
| He was a fun guy to have on the podcast because Jamie Foxx is a giant movie star, but he acts like a total normal person. | ||
| And he got classic albums, too. | ||
| He can sing his ass off. | ||
| He can sing his ass off. | ||
| And an Oscar? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You know another comedian that make dope music? | ||
| Lil Duval. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I love Lil Duval. | ||
| I love Lil Duval. | ||
| His new song I just heard, that shit hard as fuck, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Lil Duval. | ||
| He's a legend. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| You know, he has two planes. | ||
| He has two planes? | ||
| He flies around his own planes. | ||
| He flies his own fucking planes. | ||
| Dope shit, bro. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like, that's real freedom. | ||
| Legend. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He flies his own fucking planes. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's smart. | ||
| Fuck yeah, that's smart. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm not paying for flights no more. | ||
| Learning how to fly your own fucking plane? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, put it in your own hands. | ||
| Isn't like Burr, he's like one of the helicopters. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I went up with him. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| He took me up around downtown LA. I'm straight on. | ||
| I'm straight on a helicopter. | ||
| Well, apparently they know how to get him down. | ||
| The thing about that was that he should have never flown that Kobe Bryant crash. | ||
| Apparently that guy, there was a marine layer that was really low. | ||
| Bill explained the whole thing to me because Bill Burr is a legit pilot. | ||
| He said you'd never take a helicopter out in that weather. | ||
| You don't have any instrumentation. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You can't see what's in front of you in terms of instrumentation. | ||
| You don't see where the fucking mountain is. | ||
| Slammed right into the fucking mountain. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it's also like, you know, it's Kobe and he's like, I gotta get there. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, but you gotta tell a guy like Kobe. | ||
| That's gotta be so hard. | ||
| You gotta be like, hey man, we can't go up, man. | ||
| But this pilot was one of the best, I mean, one of the best helicopter pilots in the world, they were saying, right? | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| To have a guy like Kobe in your fucking helicopter is probably so weird. | ||
| You want to do whatever he wants. | ||
| Whatever, yeah. | ||
| You're like, you know what? | ||
| I can make it. | ||
| I've done this before. | ||
| I've seen thick marine layer like this. | ||
| There's an arrogance of the pilot being like, I can get this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you forget, like, oh, I can kill a lot of people here. | ||
| Yeah, there's kids involved, man. | ||
| You should've sat your ass down, man. | ||
| But it's all good, though, man. | ||
| Rest in peace, Kobe. | ||
| It's tragic shit, bro. | ||
| It's the most tragic. | ||
| The most. | ||
| When someone dies with their kid on the way to a game, you just want to support them, you think it'd be fun to take a helicopter together. | ||
| But he loved helicopters, right? | ||
| Didn't he travel from where he lived to where the Lakers played and everything by helicopter? | ||
| He did a lot of that stuff. | ||
| He just had dope, yeah. | ||
| It's the quickest way because there's traffic in LA. I mean, it's perfect. | ||
| Dennis Miller used to do that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he did a show. | ||
| And when he did his show, he would fly in in a helicopter. | ||
| And then one time the helicopter, I think... | ||
| I'm not speaking out of turn here, I hope. | ||
| But one time I think he had an issue. | ||
| He was like, fuck helicopters. | ||
| Because all it takes is one... | ||
| We all forget that part, right? | ||
| I was just in Miami a couple of weeks ago and a helicopter crashed on the fucking beach. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| It crashed on the fucking beach. | ||
| When I was in Hawaii, I took a helicopter over the volcanoes. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| That's a terrifying feeling because if this thing drops into the volcano... | ||
| You have no control. | ||
| You just melt. | ||
| You melt with the helicopter. | ||
| So it's just lava sitting in the bucket. | ||
| Just lava. | ||
| Spilling out into the ocean, creating more of Hawaii. | ||
| You could watch Hawaii being built in real time. | ||
| Also, when it erupts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When it erupts all the land. | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| It erupted just a couple of years ago on the Big Island. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| There was a video of a car getting destroyed by lava. | ||
| Someone had parked their Mustang, and the lava at least comes slow. | ||
| That's the only good thing. | ||
| Yeah, that's the only good thing about it. | ||
| It's slow as fuck. | ||
| It's slow as fuck. | ||
| It just happened to Tunga. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| It's the helicopter in Miami. | ||
| Oh my god, it's gonna crash right there in the water. | ||
| Bro, I was out there. | ||
| I was like, uh-oh. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Oh, look at the splash. | ||
| Oh my god, it almost hit that dude. | ||
| They live, though. | ||
| Did they? | ||
| Okay, that's what you're trying to get in the water. | ||
| Well, that's the help. | ||
| The water. | ||
| Yeah, they live, though. | ||
| Wait, didn't that volcano shit just happen in Tonga? | ||
| It blew part of the island off? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tonga's a scary spot, man. | ||
| It blew part of the island off. | ||
| It blew part of the island off. | ||
| It was like a, how many ton, like, megaton explosion? | ||
| Huge. | ||
| You could see it from space in the ocean. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This enormous explosion. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| I don't think people died in that one. | ||
| The ocean one? | ||
| I don't think they died in the ocean one. | ||
| Because it happened in the middle of the ocean. | ||
| Yeah, underwater. | ||
| It was close enough to the explosion. | ||
| Are we talking about the same one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's an underwater volcano, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, underwater volcano that you can see from space. | ||
| And it blew off part of the island. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can see it from space. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| That's from space. | ||
| Just a random explosion. | ||
| That's underwater. | ||
| So here's the crazy thing. | ||
| Underwater. | ||
| There was a thing, I think it's called the Toba Volcano, is that what it is, Jamie, in Indonesia? | ||
| It's almost the same spot. | ||
| Same spot, right? | ||
| So that area is responsible for an eruption, a volcanic eruption that occurred somewhere around 70,000 years ago that almost wiped out the entire human race. | ||
| What? | ||
| It brought the entire human race down to about 7,000 people. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| This was about 70,000 years ago. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So 70,000 years ago, everyone you know, everyone on this fucking planet came from these few thousand people that survived. | ||
| They don't know exactly how many, but they estimate it could be as low as 7,000 people, but mostly decimated the population of Earth. | ||
| From that? | ||
| From a giant volcano that spewed ash into the sky, killed all the vegetation, killed all the sunlight. | ||
| Only 7,000 people. | ||
| Only 7,000 people. | ||
| So how does race even exist? | ||
| Because that's your human race right there, right? | ||
| Because it's all bullshit. | ||
| It's all where we live. | ||
| If you live in Africa, you're gonna get darker skin slowly over time. | ||
| If you live in Europe, you're gonna need more vitamin D. You can only get it from the sun. | ||
| There's no fucking sun. | ||
| So you get paler and paler and paler after generation after generation. | ||
| So there's more of an ethnicity in a regional or a cultural thing. | ||
| So it's not even... | ||
| So whatever the social cause for grace is... | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| We just look different. | ||
| We just look different. | ||
| We're the same exact 100% thing. | ||
| It's not like a wolf that's trying to have sex with a cat. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| There's one race. | ||
| We just look different because we have different genetics because we came from different parts of the world. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| My nigga said that shit louder. | ||
| Tell him, hey, where's that compilation at? | ||
| So confusing to people. | ||
| Look at Joe Rogan out here saying, hey, human race. | ||
| But this is like 100% accurate. | ||
| You know, I'm a mutt. | ||
| I'm a mix of a bunch of shit, but it's mostly Italians. | ||
| And then I've got some Irish people in there and some African and I got some Asia. | ||
| A little bit of Asia in there. | ||
| But it's like we're all some weird cross of all these people that started out in some spot and had to survive massive cataclysmic disasters. | ||
| True. | ||
| I'm 98% Nigerian. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's what the 23andMe diggers told me. | ||
| I don't know, diggers. | ||
| I could be some other shit. | ||
| I think some niggas was here in America before slavery. | ||
| That's what Hotep Jesus believes. | ||
| Hotep Jesus was telling me that on my podcast and I was like, well, why not? | ||
| People traveled from everywhere. | ||
| Well, the first shipbuilders, they said they were Africans. | ||
| Were they really? | ||
| Yeah, you looked that one up, yeah. | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| Because Egypt's in Africa, man. | ||
| Right, they used to build ships for everybody, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if a nigga had a ship, a nigga could go in and fuck away water, right? | ||
| So if you look at some of the old Olmecs, they had huge noses. | ||
| Exactly, exactly. | ||
| No, let's pull that up. | ||
| Pull up an image of the Olmec. | ||
| The Olmecs look absolutely African in their features. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| The Olmecs, they don't even know who the fuck they were. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You know, the Olmecs were like 6,000 years ago or something crazy like that. | ||
| They don't even know who they were. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| See what I mean? | ||
| Those are black people? | ||
| Damn, it's niggas. | ||
| I know that nigga right there. | ||
| I know that nigga. | ||
| You know what it could be though? | ||
| Polynesian, Samoan. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like Samoan folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's a lot of Samoan guys that look like that. | ||
| Yeah, they're niggas too. | ||
| There was a lot of like warrior people. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I mean, if you want to look at... | ||
| That looks like Biggie Smalls. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Warrior genetics. | ||
| Bro, look at... | ||
| That's me right there. | ||
| That guy looks like a warrior. | ||
| Whoever that... | ||
| I mean, look at those faces. | ||
| Those sculpted... | ||
| Those are warrior faces. | ||
| So whoever those folks were, whatever they represented, they don't even know what the culture was. | ||
| They don't know anything about them. | ||
| Yeah, you're right about the Samoan thing, because there's features of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, Polynesian. | |
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, dude, a lot of those guys were warriors. | |
| The guys who landed in Hawaii, think about this shit. | ||
| They got on regular boats and made it across the ocean and got lucky and found Hawaii. | ||
| They didn't know where the fuck it was. | ||
| Those people who landed in Hawaii, Whatever thousands of years ago, whenever they arrived, they had no idea where they were going. | ||
| Right, they just ran into it. | ||
| They had little boats. | ||
| They didn't have, like, I mean, by the sake, they knew how to navigate using the stars and stuff like that. | ||
| But when I say they had no idea where they were going, like, they didn't have maps. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where did they come from? | |
| They were, like, detailed, topographical. | ||
| They're coming from the east, right? | ||
| So they're going, you know, it's not the Europeans coming from, you know, the east. | ||
| These guys are coming from, or the west. | ||
| Where they found, the people that found what? | ||
| I think South Pacific, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So when they arrived in Hawaii, there was no one there. | ||
| So they found this island that was essentially, you know, had some native life on it, a lot of fish on it, and they got there with no navigation systems, no YouTube videos to watch. | ||
| And they set up shop in paradise thousands of years ago. | ||
| Yeah, and then Columbus came through and just raped, pillaged, and, you know... | ||
| Did he go to Hawaii? | ||
| He didn't go to Hawaii. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He went to the Bahamas, right? | |
| When did America take over Hawaii? | ||
| I don't think that was until the 1900s, if I'm correct. | ||
| But also, how old is Hawaii, right? | ||
| Because that comes from an underwater volcano too, you know what I mean? | ||
| Because it's an island in the middle of the ocean. | ||
| But we had to invade that motherfucker, right? | ||
| I don't know how it went down. | ||
| I don't know the history of how. | ||
| We didn't just go to Hawaii and be like, hey man, we want this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a treaty, right, because obviously Japan wanted to claim it. | ||
| Somebody died. | ||
| Somebody got killed. | ||
| Well, look at Pearl Harbor. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, right? | ||
| That was a conflict because I think Japan... | ||
| Did they own Hawaii at all? | ||
| I don't know when... | ||
| Did the East own Hawaii at all? | ||
| I think they were their own nation until people started figuring out they're there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Don't tell nobody... | ||
| Bro, when you go to Hawaii on vacation... | ||
| And Hawaii don't have a fucking army, so they're like, yo, we with y'all. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I fucking love Hawaii. | ||
| I go there on vacation. | ||
| I love it there. | ||
| The people, the nicest people, and they're some of the best fighters. | ||
| There's so many UFC fighters. | ||
| Max Holloway. | ||
| There's a ton of them that came from Hawaii. | ||
| Hawaii kicked me out. | ||
| I went there with a bogus COVID test and them motherfuckers kicked me out as soon as I got there. | ||
| Fuck Hawaii. | ||
| 1784. Chart of the Sandwich Islands by Captain James Cook. | ||
| William Blyne. | ||
| So he was like probably the guy who got there in the 1700s and found the Polynesian people. | ||
| And you know, they brought goats. | ||
| They brought over pigs. | ||
| They brought all the animals. | ||
| Other animals, other than the Axis deer. | ||
| The Axis deer were actually given to King Kamehameha. | ||
| Hawaiian islands have a shitload of deer, because they were given there by the King Kamehameha. | ||
| So he brought them from India. | ||
| But these guys, like Captain Cook, they would drop goats off on an island. | ||
| How would they have known it was there in 1784? | ||
| Well, they probably had people that probably had drifters, crazy fucks that got on a boat and figured out how to get there and could tell you what time of the year. | ||
| Like they knew basically like which way, you know, if you're following the stars and they had sextants, you know what a sextant is? | ||
| A sextant is this thing. | ||
| It looks like a measuring device, and they would use it to track the stars. | ||
| See if you can find what a sextant looks like. | ||
| I think they had those at the time. | ||
| Find out when the sextant was made, too. | ||
| But the sextant was a primitive way to track the constellations, and they would travel across the ocean using them. | ||
| Those guys were... | ||
| Whist-taking motherfuckers, bro. | ||
| I mean, that's crazy. | ||
| That's a sextant. | ||
| So that's what it looked like. | ||
| So what year was that invented? | ||
| They figured it out a long time ago, and I don't know how they did it. | ||
| I don't know much about sextants. | ||
| That's some crazy shit. | ||
| That Captain Hook shit. | ||
| Okay, look at that. | ||
| 1731. The principle was implemented in 1731 by John Hadley and Thomas Godfrey. | ||
| So what does it say there? | ||
| It says unpublished writings of Isaac Newton from 1643 to 1727. So somewhere in Isaac Newton's life, he came up with the concept of it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Of course he did. | ||
| Yeah, of course he did. | ||
| Or he just like, yeah, he's strong on somebody for it. | ||
| Isaac Newton didn't have sex. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he died a virgin. | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| I might have made that up. | ||
|
unidentified
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Damn. | |
| Don't call him a geek. | ||
| Bro, I have spread a lot of misinformation. | ||
| This whole episode is misinformation. | ||
| I like to check myself. | ||
| I like to check myself before I wreck myself. | ||
| How old is racism, by the way? | ||
| It's forever, from the beginning. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yeah, it's tribal. | ||
| Is it forever? | ||
| It's a tribal thing, man. | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| Newton was rigorously puritanical. | ||
| When one of his few friends told him a loose story about a nun, he ended their friendship. | ||
| He is known to have never had a romantic relationship of any kind and believed to have died a virgin. | ||
| AKA, he was gay. | ||
| Nigga did a bully right there? | ||
| Did a bully write this? | ||
| I think he was gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did a bully write this? | |
| That sounds like someone got one back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he was just gay. | |
| They just didn't want to say it. | ||
| Bro, the guy told him a fuck story and he broke up with him. | ||
| He broke up with him. | ||
| See, you said he was gay. | ||
| He was probably asexual. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's dudes that are asexual, man. | ||
| There's guys that, listen. | ||
| Thank you, Isaac Newton, for not fucking, for making all this shit. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| Thanks, nigga. | ||
| At least he thought he was. | ||
| At the tender age of 19, the future mathematician was committed to paper a list of 48 sins of which he was guilty. | ||
| Transgressions ranged from peevishness at his mother to having unclean thoughts, words, and actions, and dreams... | ||
| What's that word? | ||
| They might not know how to spell it. | ||
| Dreamesis... | ||
| Dream-a-me. | ||
| That sounds like how Gollum would say dreams. | ||
| I have dreams. | ||
| He also confessed to eating an apple at thy house, though he gave no word as to whether it was the apple. | ||
| Okay, whatever. | ||
| I think it was fucking that apple. | ||
| He stuck a needle in his eye socket on purpose. | ||
| There's a lot. | ||
| Oh my god, in Newton's time, little was known about the properties of light. | ||
| In fact, people weren't sure whether the eye created light or collected it. | ||
| James Gleick, author of the 2003 biography of Newton, told HuffPost Science in a telephone interview, curious, Newton embarked on his own detailed study of optics, and he wasn't above acting as his own guinea pig, probing his eye with a blunt needle known as a bodkin. | ||
| That was on your mom's house video, I think. | ||
| Oh my god, yeah, I saw one of those. | ||
| Stupid motherfucker. | ||
| Guy did surgery. | ||
| He's a stupid motherfucker too. | ||
| I think you can't be smart at everything. | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| I think the more you don't have sex and relationships at all in your life, and you'll cut a friend off if he talks about fucking, you've narrowed down your bandwidth of thinking. | ||
| And you could push it all on whatever he was doing with science and gravity and all the crazy shit. | ||
| There's people like that, there's a spot in society that's perfect for them. | ||
| Maybe it didn't even exist until they were born, but they can figure out a thing. | ||
| They got a lane. | ||
| Like intermittent fasting almost, right? | ||
| You have more energy. | ||
| Yeah, your body's not eating food so it can focus on other things. | ||
| So I need to do intermittent fucking. | ||
| I mean, basically that's what they're saying. | ||
| It's just like, yeah, I just knew him was a genius, but he ain't getting no pussy. | ||
| Well, how many guys do you know that have a relationship with their wife or girlfriend? | ||
| They break up, and then they go on a rampage. | ||
| When they go on a rampage, they don't get nothing else done. | ||
| Right? | ||
| They don't answer text messages. | ||
| They're like, bro, I thought we were going to go to dinner. | ||
| Oh, fucking... | ||
| Because they stopped getting pussy. | ||
| You've got to keep getting pussy no matter what. | ||
| No matter what. | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| He's Isaac Newton to getting pussy. | ||
| That should be in a quote. | ||
| You've got to keep getting pussy no matter what. | ||
| You've got to keep getting pussy no matter what. | ||
| I think Nike already did that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just do it. | |
| Nike's so good shit. | ||
| Just fuck. | ||
| You've got to keep getting pussy no matter what, man. | ||
| Yeah, Isaac Newton. | ||
| Well, I don't think Isaac wanted it, man. | ||
| No, he was too busy. | ||
| Don't you think if certain people are born blind, don't you think certain people are born with no sexual appetite at all? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Imagine if you weren't horny at all. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| There has to be people like that, obviously, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| If there are pedophiles, if there are people who have bloodlust, that kind of a thing. | ||
| Imagine if you weren't horny at all and your friend just wants to talk to you about butt-fucking. | ||
| You're like... | ||
| What are you talking about, man? | ||
| Can we talk about quantum physics? | ||
| I'm trying to figure out gravity. | ||
| You're sticking your dick in a place where someone shits. | ||
| Yeah, make them bitches fuck so we can fuck. | ||
| Listen, 100%, there has to be people that have no desire whatsoever for intimate contact with another person. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not any crazier than people that are born with all kinds of different things that are different about that. | ||
| So what do they do? | ||
| They gotta bust a nut. | ||
| You have to bust a nut. | ||
| I don't think you have to. | ||
| I think there's certain people where their body doesn't produce any testosterone. | ||
| Or very little of it. | ||
| My football coach told me to go get some pussy. | ||
| He said, if you hold in that nut, you're gonna get acne. | ||
| And I didn't want to have no pimples. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Your coach said that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What?! | |
| Biggie Small's teacher said, you're never gonna make it, but Freddie Gibbs, high school coach, said, if you ain't... | ||
| You gotta bust them nuts. | ||
| Moses, do you have a teacher like that that fucked with you, that said something to you that sticks in your craw? | ||
| No, I had one teacher said I wasn't going to graduate and then I did. | ||
| I remember when I graduated, I told her, I was like, see, I knew I was going to make it Miss McJunkin. | ||
| He told me, my coach told me, get some pussy. | ||
| He said, don't beat your shit. | ||
| He said, don't beat your meat. | ||
| He said, when you beat your shit, you beat your brains. | ||
| So I was like, I guess I'm making myself stupid by jacking off. | ||
| I need to get smashed. | ||
| They gave terrible advice back then. | ||
| Bro, my wrestling coach was trying to get me to play football. | ||
| I wrestled at 134 pounds. | ||
| He was trying to get me to play football. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? | ||
| He's like, Rogan, you'd be fast. | ||
| You'd be great on the field. | ||
| I go, fuck you. | ||
| Our heavyweight was this kid, Bob Baker. | ||
| He weighed 300 pounds. | ||
| I was like, I'm friends with Bob. | ||
| He's so much bigger. | ||
| He could fit me inside of him and no one would even notice. | ||
| Fuck out of here. | ||
| I'm not playing football. | ||
| Yeah, that's dangerous. | ||
| It's a terrifying game. | ||
| It's fun, though. | ||
| It's fun if you're on the right side of it, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's fun. | ||
| Dudes get hit in baseball, and it's rare. | ||
| Someone slides into a catcher or something like that. | ||
| They collide into someone. | ||
| I stopped playing baseball because I didn't want to get hit with the ball no more. | ||
| Right, though. | ||
| That's a weapon coming at you, yeah. | ||
| I think I'm good on this shit. | ||
| What I'm saying is that dudes get hit in football every fucking day. | ||
| Oh, car crashes, yeah. | ||
| And they're bigger, they're fat. | ||
| I mean, they're literal cars coming at you and crashing. | ||
| It's a collision sport, right? | ||
| Here's my question. | ||
| How come hockey players get to fight? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How come everybody doesn't get to fight? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| They catch 200 pounds coming at you in skates. | ||
| I mean, none of them have teeth, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
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But why? | |
| What's going on? | ||
| What's the rules there? | ||
| Hockey wasn't made in America. | ||
| It wasn't? | ||
| It's Canadian. | ||
| It's Canadian. | ||
| Is everything else made in America? | ||
| Actually, I don't even know if it's Canadian. | ||
| It's Russian, I think. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Hockey? | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| I would say Russian. | ||
| I think Russian. | ||
| Because it's in Russia. | ||
| It's in Russia. | ||
| And they're very good at it. | ||
| And it's a big deal in Russia. | ||
| I think it's Russian. | ||
| Okay, let's go with Russian. | ||
| What we got? | ||
| Where was hockey created? | ||
| But why do they get to fight? | ||
| Because fighting in American sports is unsportsmanlike. | ||
| You know, there's no black people in hockey, and if you show black people fighting, nobody's going to watch. | ||
| Everyone's like, this is okay. | ||
| I can see my son fighting. | ||
| If you show black people fighting, they're not going to watch? | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Black people love boxing. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm saying, but I feel like with sports like that, when it's a team sport, you can't really... | ||
| I mean, it's like, oh, these thugs are fighting, and we're not going to get the ratings. | ||
| If it's white dudes, it's like, it's cool. | ||
| Unless it's UFC or boxing. | ||
| Yeah, I agree with that. | ||
| If it was black dudes in hockey fighting, they wouldn't. | ||
| They'd be like, these thugs are on the ice. | ||
| But niggas don't want to be cold. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We ain't skating shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Two answers. | ||
| England. | ||
| It emerged in England in the mid-18th century and was largely attributed to the growth of public schools. | ||
| We are all about misinformation here. | ||
| What? | ||
| Hockey was- hold on! | ||
| Hockey was a part of the growth of public schools? | ||
| I don't know that- Can you scroll back up so I can read that again? | ||
| The origins of hockey have been long debated. | ||
| In 2008, the International Ice Hockey Federation officially declared the first game of organized ice hockey was played in Montreal in 1875. But it says in this other paragraph here, the modern game of hockey emerged in England in the mid-18th century, which is the 1700s, and is largely attributed to the growth of public schools, such as Eaton. | ||
| What? | ||
| The first hockey association was formed in the UK in 1876 and drew up the first formal set of rules. | ||
| Could you imagine if schools emerged because of hockey? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Like, would public schools emerge because of hockey? | ||
| Get them in class so, yeah, they'll go play hockey. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| It's like an incentive? | ||
| Can you imagine if hockey was how they figured out schools? | ||
| I think, I mean, maybe it was a bunch of rich guys that, I got my hockey team. | ||
| Nah, Nick, I got my hockey team. | ||
| All right, I got my school. | ||
| They started school. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm going to start my school. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| That's how they did it. | ||
| But, okay, so... | ||
|
unidentified
|
So how come you can't fight in rugby then? | |
| Rugby should be fighting. | ||
| You should fight in rugby. | ||
| You can fight in hockey. | ||
| You can't fight in rugby. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Rugby basically is a fight. | ||
| Rugby already is a fight. | ||
| And they don't have any helmets on. | ||
| They all got shit on. | ||
| You know, they say that that's safer, believe it or not, that American football, that the problem with the head, like the helmets and the shoulder coverings, the head coverings, is that they make you feel like you're protected, but you're not really. | ||
| No, yeah, I think it's the helmet, bro. | ||
| The thing is, we're so scared of the transition period between helmets and no helmets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, make them lacrosse helmets, you know? | |
| That you can't give anybody any padding on their head and allow them to smash people in the heads. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| If you're a bigger guy and that guy's got a smaller head, that's a terrifying place to be if you're that smaller guy. | ||
| I mean, we can talk to hit people in the face. | ||
| Why fighting is allowed in the NHL? There's no real answer here that I got to, but as I'm reading the third time, they do fight in baseball. | ||
| They do? | ||
| But don't they break it up immediately? | ||
| No, they break that up, yeah. | ||
| They break it up in hockey, too. | ||
| No, but they let them toss it. | ||
| Yeah, no, no. | ||
| They break it up in hockey, but those guys get like, what, like two minutes, like a timeout and they go right back in? | ||
| It depends. | ||
| It's gone down over time, but I was looking at some baseball things, like Reggie Jackson hit a home run and then went and fought the guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| That was the 70s, though. | ||
| My grandfather was a Yankees fan, so I used to have to watch those games. | ||
| I was a little kid. | ||
| I used to watch those games with my grandpa. | ||
| He loved it, man. | ||
| Bro, those guys were on so many drugs. | ||
| The 70s and the 80s were cool for baseball. | ||
| I'm sorry, baseball. | ||
| I don't think they had the right science, though. | ||
| They didn't have the right science. | ||
| What really was interesting is the Mark McGuire years. | ||
| When they got dudes like juicy, juicy, juicy. | ||
| Yeah, the science. | ||
| Smacking the shit out of the ball. | ||
| It's fucked up how they kept him and Barry Bonds out of the Hall of Fame. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| It is fucked up. | ||
| Because there was a lot of people that were taking it. | ||
| And they were better than everybody else. | ||
| It's like the Lance Armstrong argument. | ||
| You want to say that Lance Armstrong doesn't deserve to win the Tour de France? | ||
| Well, everybody was on drugs. | ||
| The whole Tour de France was on drugs. | ||
| Everybody's doping. | ||
| They're all doping. | ||
| Yeah, but that's also like, they say the same thing about the 70s era when they're all on methamphetamines. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So like, why are these guys bad? | ||
| Because they broke those great records. | ||
| Babe Ruth is their pinnacle. | ||
| You can't beat those records. | ||
| They almost killed Hank Aaron for that, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I wasn't alive during the Hank Aaron era, but I believe they probably said he was juicing, weren't they? | ||
| Like, oh, he's a cheat probably. | ||
| I never heard that. | ||
| He's on something. | ||
| Did they say that? | ||
| I never heard that. | ||
| I never heard that. | ||
| Sorry, Hank Aaron. | ||
| I don't think they knew what Juice was back then. | ||
| I'm trying. | ||
| Misinformation. | ||
| I'm out here. | ||
| That should be a girl that does porn. | ||
| Misinformation. | ||
| I think she's a radio DJ, actually. | ||
| Misinformation. | ||
| Oh, there is? | ||
| Is there a radio DJ? Yeah, I think that they didn't discover that shit until Eastern Bloc Nation started experimenting on it with Olympic athletes. | ||
| And you started seeing women Olympic athletes that were posting up numbers that I think even... | ||
| Google this, because I think there's some powerlifting numbers from Eastern Bloc Nations from the early days before drug testing that they still haven't beaten. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Like, dude, they engineered people back then. | ||
| There was an article I read about this lady who was in that program, and she was like a weightlifter, and she basically was forced to take hormones, and it ruined her chance of never having children. | ||
| She could never have children, and she was just talking about what awkward shit it did to her body. | ||
| Because back then, man, they would just... | ||
| They were science experiments, right. | ||
| They didn't give a fuck, man. | ||
| You're gonna win for the Soviet Union. | ||
| Like, you take that drug. | ||
| Right, though. | ||
| Yeah, you don't have a choice. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like, you know, there's a lot of communist countries that just decide what you're gonna do. | ||
| And if you're a woman, and you show promise at weightlifting, and they want you to represent Russia. | ||
| Gymnastics, right. | ||
| Back in the 1950s or 60s, whatever it was. | ||
| Ice skating, right? | ||
| Cycling, all of it now, right? | ||
| This is what we're realizing with this war, man. | ||
| This is a people thing. | ||
| People like to control people. | ||
| It doesn't matter if they're Russian or Chinese or wherever the fuck they're from, American, Canadian. | ||
| Look at what's going on in Canada. | ||
| They froze the assets, all those people that contributed to the truckers that were trying to protest. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| They froze the assets. | ||
| They froze people's assets. | ||
| I don't know if they released them. | ||
| I think they eventually, ultimately released them. | ||
| Yeah, where are people's rights to protest? | ||
| Well, man, it's like... | ||
| Canada's a democracy, right? | ||
| It's a thing that people want to... | ||
| Look, running things and ruling over people has got to be very fucking complicated. | ||
| It's very difficult to do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's so hard to do, and so hard to do when you have, like, all these different pressures from all these different businesses that have contributed to your campaigns, and people that want you to do one thing or the other thing. | ||
| Goddamn, it's got to be hard to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And one of the easiest impulses, one of the most normal human impulses is just to help people shut the fuck up. | ||
| I'm gonna do this now. | ||
| We're gonna impose this. | ||
| We're gonna impose a new law. | ||
| We're gonna keep this law. | ||
| It's a natural thing that people want to do when they get in charge. | ||
| And you're not supposed to be able to do that. | ||
| And the people that like voted with them, that's a mistake. | ||
| You're not supposed to give people new powers. | ||
| The amount of power they have is enough. | ||
| Those powers are supposed to be reserved for terrorist attacks and shit. | ||
| Wild stuff. | ||
| Not your own people. | ||
| People trying to overthrow the government. | ||
| Not people that are protesting. | ||
| You've got to be able to tolerate a certain amount of protesting. | ||
| You have to be. | ||
| There has to be discourse, because otherwise you're going to make new laws to make your life more convenient and easy. | ||
| But the fucking real reason is, No one should be a president. | ||
| No one. | ||
| No one should be a prime minister. | ||
| No one person should get that much juice. | ||
| Facts. | ||
| And I don't think they have in America. | ||
| I think this is a good example. | ||
| Because I think that with Biden, it's probably a lot of people helping him out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's probably a gigantic group effort. | ||
| But Russia? | ||
| Nobody's saying shit to Putin. | ||
| No. | ||
| Right? | ||
| You know, that's a different kind of thing. | ||
| When a person gets to that spot, that crazy superposition where they can just call out whatever they want done, force things, attack. | ||
| The only other motherfucker I remember running Russia was Mikhail Gorbachev. | ||
| And after that, it was just been Putin the rest of my life. | ||
| How about Khrushchev? | ||
| In the 1960s, Khrushchev pulled his shoe out and banged it on the desk and said, I will bury you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Bro, do you ever see that? | ||
| You need to see that because this is like post-nuclear weapons first being deployed. | ||
| Really? | ||
| This was in the Cold War, could have been a hot war. | ||
| In the 70s? | ||
| No, this is like when he did that with Khrushchev, I don't know what year it was. | ||
| I'm thinking... | ||
| I'm thinking this was during like the Kennedy years, 1960. Yeah, 1960. He took his fucking shoe off and banged it on the desk and said, I will bury you. | ||
| Do you understand how terrifying that would have been? | ||
| Who was he talking to? | ||
| To us! | ||
| To us! | ||
| Yeah, Russians go hard. | ||
| And these motherfuckers had nuclear weapons and a long history of brutal warfare that was just recently behind them. | ||
| They had warfare on their front lines. | ||
| You know, during Stalin's era, fucking who knows how many people starved to death in Russia. | ||
| Russia was horrifically, horrifically treated by its rulers and by history and fate, and that goes back to the Mongols invading them in the 1200s, man. | ||
| So it's just in their blood. | ||
| Dude, they've had a long history of conflict. | ||
| These are fierce people, and you see it in the UFC right now. | ||
| There's these Russians that are coming over and fucking dominating in the UFC. There's so many of them. | ||
| It's like a high population of Russians. | ||
| I've been to Russia, too. | ||
| That shit is... | ||
| It's a hard place. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| It's cold as fuck. | ||
| Is it third world? | ||
| The people are strong. | ||
| No! | ||
| It ain't third world. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| It's just a different... | ||
| They're just hard people, man. | ||
| Yeah, I don't like the vibe. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| I said put my man on here. | ||
| I gotta clarify that. | ||
| That was some urban vernacular. | ||
| It's a vernacular. | ||
| Do you know that Louis CK was doing a show? | ||
| He was supposed to be doing a show in Ukraine when the shit hit the fan? | ||
| Oh, I read about that, yeah. | ||
| It was on Twitter. | ||
| He's talking about it. | ||
| Yeah, I want to read his text. | ||
| It's pretty hilarious. | ||
| That sounds terrifying. | ||
| He was pretending that he was there and then he wasn't. | ||
| He was pretending he was there? | ||
| To me in a text message. | ||
| Just to be funny. | ||
| He's like, I'm fucked. | ||
| He said, no, I got out. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| And he's explaining. | ||
| And he's doing like some European tour right now. | ||
| But imagine, Sean Penn is over there right now. | ||
| Dog, over there. | ||
| CNN's over there. | ||
| I mean, they're over there. | ||
| They're just like documenting it. | ||
| Hoping they don't get killed. | ||
| In Ukraine. | ||
| In Ukraine, yeah. | ||
| This is a real hot war. | ||
| It's a war. | ||
| In our lifetimes. | ||
| I've never, right. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| This is the first time I've ever seen this kind of conflict with white people. | ||
| I'm like, this is hard. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| This is like slaps. | ||
| If you're going to get in a street fight, this is like by using conventional weapons, it's like slaps before they start throwing haymakers. | ||
| We've got to be really terrified of haymakers. | ||
| Because if haymakers come, and I know this is a bad analogy because people are dying. | ||
| I don't mean it that way. | ||
| What I mean is it'll escalate to the point where everybody's dead. | ||
| That's what's terrifying to me. | ||
| What's terrifying to me is that he's... | ||
| What has he done with his nukes? | ||
| What has Putin done with his nukes? | ||
| There was like something that he did? | ||
| Well, Belarus just opened up their nukes for him, right? | ||
| Even though we just clicked on this video, I just read a bunch of reports that said this didn't happen. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But we just watched it. | ||
| There might not have been a shoe in his hand. | ||
| What's in his hand? | ||
| It's like a gavel, probably. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Yeah, that's a shoe, bro. | ||
| Look at the end. | ||
| I just read 15 reports that said this. | ||
| They don't even have a picture of him doing it. | ||
| I think that is propaganda by the government trying to discredit my podcast. | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| Misinformation. | ||
| Misinformation, baby. | ||
| Watch it pop up. | ||
| I swear to God I saw a heel. | ||
| Let's let it pop up. | ||
| It's like right when he bangs it, right there. | ||
| That looks like a shoe, bro. | ||
| That's a shoe. | ||
| No, not negative. | ||
| Should you gavel? | ||
| Is it a gavel? | ||
| Shoes are a thing in politics, right? | ||
| He's going to back it up. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| We got it here. | ||
| Bro, you sure that's not a shoe? | ||
| The play-by-play, the frame-by-frame. | ||
| You sure that's not a shoe? | ||
| I will crush you! | ||
| If it was a shoe, this is the only account of anywhere online that I could just find. | ||
| It's a conspiracy. | ||
| I'm saying. | ||
| Okay, so that's a conspiracy. | ||
| The part that it was a shoe. | ||
| Is it really more interesting that he bangs his shoe? | ||
| Yes, it is, right? | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's kind of a gangster. | ||
| That is gangster. | ||
| Someone take their shoe off and bang it on the desk? | ||
| Russians are gangster. | ||
| Russians are fucking gangster. | ||
| Well, he was definitely gangster, whatever he was doing. | ||
| Well, thank you, Jamie. | ||
| But the Ukrainians, too. | ||
| I mean, hard, dog. | ||
| Hard people. | ||
| Hard. | ||
| Listen, man, you got Lomachenko over there, one of the greatest lighter-weight fighters of all time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You got the brothers Klitschko. | ||
| Two of the greatest heavyweights of all time. | ||
| One of them is a mayor over there. | ||
| Yeah, Vladimir. | ||
| Vitale, rather. | ||
| Vitale is the mayor of Kiev. | ||
| He's the mayor of Kiev. | ||
| And then you've got Usyk, who is one of the baddest motherfuckers to ever lace on gloves. | ||
| What he did to Anthony Joshua, I was like, I can't even believe I'm seeing this. | ||
| I can't even believe I'm seeing this. | ||
| He did lighter man boxing in the heavyweight division and put on a fucking show. | ||
| Look at him out there. | ||
| The niggas are hard. | ||
| He's an interesting guy, too. | ||
| Usyk, he's really creative. | ||
| If you watch him on his Instagram page, he's always dancing and shit, moving around. | ||
| He's a very eclectic, sort of eccentric guy. | ||
| He's got a lot of different things going on with him. | ||
| His boxing styles fucking almost unprecedented for the heavyweight division He moves like a lightweight guy like he's constantly moving he's in perpetual motion Fainting and jabbing and cutting angles and his footwork is superb. | ||
| I mean Anthony Joshua is such a power puncher man And to stand in front of him like that and just keep pressing forward and get clipped too? | ||
| Yeah, with the Russians. | ||
| They're hard people, bro. | ||
| And he's over there right now with a rifle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A rifle and a helmet. | ||
| They got stingers. | ||
| They got javelins. | ||
| The thing is, like, where does this go? | ||
| Like, how do they end this? | ||
| How do they end this without people... | ||
| I just don't know how you devalue life like that. | ||
| That's all I'm saying. | ||
| It's terrifying, because it leads, like, if you can justify killing 10,000 people, you can justify killing 100,000 people. | ||
| You can justify 100, you can justify a million, and then you can keep going. | ||
| Well, now you're talking about genocide. | ||
| Yeah, the genocide of the people. | ||
| Yeah, if you feel like... | ||
| There was a time during the 1960s where these generals were talking about nuking China or nuking Russia, that you could eliminate it very quickly and that you could do it fast and we would only lose a few million people in the United States and they were willing to give it a go. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they were real generals. | ||
| Like, real generals. | ||
| Just power over people's lives? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Oliver Stone. | ||
| Oliver Stone was explaining this to me. | ||
| Dog. | ||
| He's like, the guy was the inspiration for the Doctor Strangelove movie. | ||
| You know, the Doctor Strangelove. | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| Not only heard of it, but I haven't seen it. | ||
| Doctor Strangelove is a crazy movie from early days. | ||
| Like, it's like 65 or something like that. | ||
| And it's all about these generals sitting around wanting to go to war. | ||
| And they were talking. | ||
| One of the guys was talking. | ||
| It sounded like a parody. | ||
| He was talking like, we'll probably lose Chicago and maybe a couple other places, but for the most part, we'll have limited amounts. | ||
| Yeah, basically a documentary. | ||
| Dr. Strangelove is basically a documentary. | ||
| Stanley Kubrick's 1964 film, Dr. Strangelove, is a black comedy that ends with the world being completely destroyed in a nuclear war. | ||
| Many aspects of the film might seem absurd, but according to Daniel Ellsberg, who worked as a nuclear war planner in the 1960s, it's actually pretty close to reality. | ||
| He says that was a documentary, Ellsberg says in episode 297 of Geek's Guide to the Galaxy podcast. | ||
| Existed as an operational reality at the time. | ||
| He says that while specific doomsday machine featuring Dr. Strangelove is fictional, the Russians and the Americans' nuclear arsenals function as de facto doomsday machines since a first strike by either power against the other would be more than enough to plunge the world in nuclear war. | ||
| And so they really were trying to do this. | ||
| So there really were some wild ass generals. | ||
| From the 1960s that were thinking we might have to nuke them before they nuke us. | ||
| I mean they did. | ||
| They did. | ||
| Hiroshima and Nagasaki. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did it. | |
| I mean so they did. | ||
| They did it before us. | ||
| They wiped out the whole city. | ||
| It's amazing we haven't done it since. | ||
| I thank God. | ||
| Yeah, thank God. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| But it's amazing, isn't it? | ||
| But now more countries have this capability. | ||
| Everybody's got it. | ||
| Yeah, everybody's got it now. | ||
| Bro, they talk about suitcase nukes. | ||
| See? | ||
| You go, what the fuck did you just say? | ||
| Suitcase nukes. | ||
| It's like someone could have a suitcase that's a nuclear weapon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Don't say that. | ||
| A suitcase? | ||
| That's real. | ||
| And what would that suitcase do? | ||
| Detonate a city. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| How much power is in a suitcase nuke? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, how many megatons? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| I mean, how much is that? | ||
| And are those real? | ||
| Power. | ||
| Dude, it's terrifying. | ||
| What human beings are capable of doing to each other is terrifying. | ||
| Because also capable of being cool as fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Dude, what we were just talking about earlier. | ||
| Why would we even make a nuke? | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| Why can't we use this power to figure out how to find other intelligent life out there? | ||
| The problem with nuclear power is that someone was gonna make it. | ||
| Right, and that's exactly. | ||
| It's out there in the universe. | ||
| Well, Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project did it to try to end the war because they felt like the war was going to go the wrong way and Hitler was going to take over the world. | ||
| Now, if Hitler took over the world, we'd obviously be fucked, right? | ||
| I mean, what happened during World War II, everybody would be. | ||
| What happened over there in World War II in 1947 changed the course of history. | ||
| But, you know, it didn't have to. | ||
| If the Germans figured it out quicker, bro, they figured out a lot of shit. | ||
| They figured out all kinds of race car technology that, you know, how many fucking elite world car manufacturers came out of Germany? | ||
| Mercedes, Volkswagen, Porsche, Audi. | ||
| What the fuck, dude? | ||
| BMW. It all came out of this fucking same part of the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tragedy. | ||
| Dude, they invented all kinds of shit. | ||
| Jet engines. | ||
| They had advanced technology. | ||
| The science that came out of that too because of the experiments they were doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You know what Operation Paperclip is? | ||
| No. | ||
| All the people that ran the NASA program that put people on the moon in the 1960s was Nazis. | ||
| Operation Paperclip was a real operation the US federal government engaged in where they took Nazis from Nazi Germany, Nazi scientists, and they brought them over. | ||
| Werner Herzog, who's the head of, or excuse me, Werner Von Braun, Werner Herzog's a documentary guy, Werner Von Braun, who is the head of NASA, was a Nazi. | ||
| So much so that the Simon Wiesenthal Center at one point in time said if he was alive today, they would prosecute him for crimes against humanity. | ||
| Wild! | ||
| So NASA is a motherfucking Nazi. | ||
| So the end of NASA is a Nazi. | ||
| It's always about the advancement of humans. | ||
| I read this story about how they would hang the five slowest Jews at the doorway to the rocket factory in Berlin. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes, that was real. | ||
| Where is this at? | ||
| Just during the Holocaust. | ||
| During the Holocaust, during World War II, Wernher von Braun ran a rocket factory and they had Jews work as slaves. | ||
| They brought all these people over here. | ||
| They brought all these people over here with their advanced rocket ship technology and they all helped put us ahead of the space race. | ||
| You never heard about those? | ||
| No. | ||
| Do you know they used to fight duels? | ||
| So they all had big cuts all over their face. | ||
| Like Mandingo fights almost. | ||
| That was a badge of honor. | ||
| They all had giant duel scars on their face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Imagine not just being a Nazi, but being a Nazi whose whole face was sewed back together. | ||
| Like they wanted to look like monsters. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pull up Nazi duel scars. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| Look at these guys. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| That's why they had these. | ||
| Look at that guy. | ||
| You see all this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You look up Nazi pictures. | ||
| They all had this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| So they would put goggles on, and then they would put, you know, like an outfit on. | ||
| You don't want to fight these guys, though. | ||
| I mean, like, yeah, you look at these guys, these are monsters you're fighting. | ||
| This gives you nightmares. | ||
| They would fight with swords and cut each other's faces, and it was a rite of passage. | ||
| And so you look at like the guys running NASA. Now look at dueling scars NASA operation paperclip and you'll see like guys who are working for NASA in the 1960s have Nazi dueling scars on their face. | ||
| Look at that guy in the upper left hand corner. | ||
| Who's that woman though? | ||
| Like, look at his face. | ||
| She wrote a book about it. | ||
| Oh, no, she actually was on our podcast before. | ||
| Eddie Jacobson. | ||
| I was like, where's her? | ||
| No, there's her and me together talking. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| She doesn't have a dueling scar. | ||
| But look at that dude's smile he's got connected to his cheek. | ||
| Look at that guy down there. | ||
| Jamie. | ||
| Look at that guy. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I thought that was Walt Disney. | ||
| The black and white guy next to his hand. | ||
| The one that says, go to the right a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, that guy. | ||
| Look at that guy's face. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| But there were so many of those guys. | ||
| They had these dueling scars all over their face. | ||
| See, what this is supposed to teach people... | ||
| Who's they dueling against? | ||
| Each other, right? | ||
| Each other in schools. | ||
| They didn't like military schools and shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hard. | ||
| Hard. | ||
| Nazis are hard. | ||
| Cold as fuck in the winter. | ||
| Did anybody die? | ||
| Different kinds of people. | ||
| You gotta die. | ||
| You cut me like that. | ||
| I guarantee you some people died. | ||
| Guarantee you some people got their necks cut and died. | ||
| They had to. | ||
| That's what makes these motherfuckers scary. | ||
| They're fighting the face with swords. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| But it was like a rite of passage to have your face fucked up and get all stitched back together again. | ||
| Yeah, nobody's gonna be as hard as the Nazis. | ||
| I guarantee you a lot of people died from the infections. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| What? | ||
| There is social significance of them, too. | ||
| It's like you were elite. | ||
| Oh, you were also good husband material. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's the propaganda. | ||
| But this is the thing, man. | ||
| This goes back to warrior cultures, whether it's the Vikings or any Native Americans, any warrior cultures. | ||
| They all valued scars. | ||
| The number in the extremity of scars was reduced in more recent times. | ||
| And the custom of obtaining dueling scars started to die off after the Second World War. | ||
| Well, after we kicked your ass. | ||
| They said some students who didn't even fence Would scar themselves with razors in imitation. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Well, you know, jujitsu guys do that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They fuck their ears up on purpose. | ||
| Oh, that's why they be having a cauliflower ear. | ||
| Well, no, there's two. | ||
| Like, some of them get a cauliflower ear just from regular grappling, but some of them, like, they'll grab their ear and fuck it up. | ||
| They'll bend it and crush their ear just to get a little blood in there. | ||
| Ugh, fuck that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| It fucks what you're hearing, too. | ||
| It's suitcase bombs, by the way. | ||
| It's as big that it could be in a suitcase or backpack, according to what I was looking up. | ||
| The power is 10. I don't really understand the bomb power stuff. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| It's not quite as big as the ones we dropped on. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But it's still a nuke. | ||
| So it would be how much of a percentage of a Hiroshima bomb? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't even want to give an answer because I didn't see anything comparing it to that specifically. | ||
| I also was trying to find if they were even a thing for a minute. | ||
| There was a 60 Minutes interview where a Soviet general said they created about 250 of them and 100 were missing at some point. | ||
| The Soviet Union is crazy. | ||
| What was that Operation Ordessa? | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Who produced that again? | ||
| Is that Billy? | ||
| That's not Billy Corbin, right? | ||
| No, that's someone else, right? | ||
| Who produced Operation Ortesla? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I'm trying to remember. | ||
| Operation Ortesla is about these drug dealers that buy a submarine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, Tiller Russell. | |
| Tiller Russell, that's right. | ||
| Sorry, Tiller. | ||
| They buy a submarine to fucking deliver their drugs in from the Russians, and the Russians ask them if they want nuclear bombs. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| The Russians asked them if they want to buy nuclear missiles. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Bro, it's a great documentary. | ||
| It's a great documentary. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| So they were smuggling coke from Russia? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Dude, it's a wild documentary. | ||
| Where the fuck do you get cocaine in Russia? | ||
| I bet it's probably pretty easy if you're friends with the right people. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| It's a really good documentary. | ||
| But it's all about that. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every time I go places over there like that, they got bad cocaine. | ||
| Like Australia, they cocaine. | ||
| That shit is good. | ||
| It's basically like ketamine, like special cake. | ||
| Oh, well, it probably is. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| Freddie's talking about cocaine again. | ||
| I don't know what cocaine is. | ||
| I don't know what it does, because I've never tried it. | ||
| Because I know I'd love it. | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| I don't need anything that gives me any confidence. | ||
| Yeah, that's why I don't do crack. | ||
| They say it's like a body orgasm. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not interested in that. | ||
| Yeah, all the crackheads, I know they used to have to get their dick sucked to fuck while they was doing their cracker right after immediately or something. | ||
| They make them horny as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want that drug. | ||
| You get hooked on that drug, yeah, that's over. | ||
| I had a good buddy of mine that was deep into it. | ||
| He was always trying to take me to buy it. | ||
| I was like, man, if I get my car repossessed, I'm going to be so fucking mad at you. | ||
| So I'd have to drive him into Harlem. | ||
| And he would go and score. | ||
| And I was always trying to clean him up. | ||
| Because we were from completely different ends of what you do with your body spectrum. | ||
| Like, I had come from martial arts and, you know, I was a stand-up comedian and he was a pool hustler. | ||
| And, like, he was always, like, homeless and sleeping on it. | ||
| He was bound to do crack. | ||
| Bound to do crack. | ||
| And he was doing a lot of crack. | ||
| Future crackhead. | ||
| Why did you teach him, like, hey man, you know what would be cheaper? | ||
| If you just made this shit yourself. | ||
| You realize when you talk to people that have a real problem, it doesn't matter what you say. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can't really say anything. | ||
| You think, man, you can't tell no motherfucker to make their own crack. | ||
| That was a joke! | ||
| You don't think every crackhead had that bright idea like, I'm just gonna go get me some cocaine to make my own shit. | ||
| The problem is I'm getting undercut. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, like go to Home Depot. | ||
| This crack could be so much more inexpensive. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| They can't afford the powder. | ||
| They just get a rock, man. | ||
| It's like fast food. | ||
| It's fast food. | ||
| Like a single nigga buying groceries. | ||
| He ain't gonna do that. | ||
| Uber Eats. | ||
| Let's imagine a place where crack is legal. | ||
| Russia. | ||
| Oregon? | ||
| No, right here in America. | ||
| Imagine if that was, yeah, it is in Oregon. | ||
| But you can't sell it. | ||
| It's decriminalized. | ||
| What I'm saying is legal. | ||
| I'm saying legal everywhere. | ||
| Like, let's cut the bullshit. | ||
| You know, if I can buy booze, if I can walk into a CVS and buy enough whiskey to kill myself, you 100% can, right? | ||
| You walk into a drugstore, they sell whiskey, don't they? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| If you buy a couple of bottles of whiskey and you just drink them in an hour, you're a dead man. | ||
| You're a dead man. | ||
| You're a dead man. | ||
| Alcohol poisoning. | ||
| You're a dead man. | ||
| So why is that okay? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Because we are used to it? | ||
| Like, I'm not saying you should do crack. | ||
| But why is it okay to just drink yourself to death? | ||
| Because maybe it... | ||
| They haven't tested enough because alcohol I feel like has been around so long. | ||
| Have you done crack? | ||
| Never done crack. | ||
| Imagine if like a really smart person does crack and they're like, wait a minute, this is actually beneficial. | ||
| I mean, we gotta find that guy. | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| It's like, you know, we get bad propaganda because everybody does crack is already a loser. | ||
| But presidents drink alcohol. | ||
| Maybe the president smokes crack. | ||
| There's only a few mayors I even know. | ||
| If I was Biden, I'd smoke crack. | ||
| I'm like, how much time do I have left? | ||
| I want to try crack. | ||
| Crack just got bad physical effects on the body, like the face, the teeth, shit like that. | ||
| It's not a glamorous drug. | ||
| I don't think that's what it is. | ||
| I think that's neglect. | ||
| Freebasing a little bit, but also neglect. | ||
| Dr. Carl Hart, do you know who he is? | ||
| Yeah, I've read about this guy. | ||
| He's a professor at Columbia. | ||
| Brilliant guy. | ||
| He does heroin, right? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| He's been on my podcast a couple of times. | ||
| He's a very interesting guy because he talks openly about his personal drug use. | ||
| He's careful about it where he doesn't give up sources or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, he's a functional heroin addict, right? | ||
| But he's basically saying, and this is his position. | ||
| He was a research scientist. | ||
| He still is. | ||
| But he was in his 30s and researching these chemicals, whether it was cocaine or heroin or whatever it was. | ||
| And he realized we're getting a bunch of bullshit misconceptions about what the effects of these things are, what the withdrawal are. | ||
| He goes, withdrawal for heroin is like having the flu. | ||
| I go, really? | ||
| He goes, yeah, it's like the flu. | ||
| Like, you get over it. | ||
| He goes, everyone... | ||
| Shit, I just see this motherfucking shit on themselves. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People shit on themselves if they have the flu. | ||
| If you have the flu and you think you're going to die... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| If you have the flu and you... | ||
| You ever have the flu and you think you're going to die? | ||
| When you had COVID, you told me you were as sick as you've ever been. | ||
| Sick as fuck, but I wasn't dope sick. | ||
| You weren't dope sick? | ||
| Have you been dope sick? | ||
| Never. | ||
| But do you know that that's 100% for everybody the same? | ||
| Do you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Some bad dope sick. | ||
| Some crack sick. | ||
| More than the flu maybe. | ||
| But heroin. | ||
| Just heroin. | ||
| Heroin is what he was concentrating. | ||
| He said it was basically like the flu. | ||
| Listen, people die of the flu. | ||
| They fucking die. | ||
| It doesn't get worse than dying. | ||
| It doesn't get worse than dying. | ||
| I don't see how there's any way you could dispute what he's saying. | ||
| I think there's somewhere in the neighborhood of like 10 to 20,000 people have died in a year from the flu. | ||
| What's like the most people that have ever died in a year from the flu? | ||
| I mean, well, we talk about the Spanish flu. | ||
| Just like a regular flu, seasonal flu. | ||
| Since when? | ||
| Just Google a normal year. | ||
| How many people died from the flu in 2017? | ||
| So we're far enough removed from COVID. Because H1N1 was the flu. | ||
| That was killing people. | ||
| We wasn't tripping on that. | ||
| We wasn't wearing masks for no H1N1. It went away pretty quick. | ||
| Burt had it. | ||
| Chrysler had it. | ||
| He said he almost died. | ||
| When I first had COVID, you were like, I thought it was going to die. | ||
| 61,000 every year? | ||
| About 61,000 people died in 2017, 2018 flu season. | ||
| Imagine if 61,000 people every year died from heroin overdoses. | ||
| You'd say that's crazy, right? | ||
| No, it's more! | ||
| It's more! | ||
| No, it's over 100,000! | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| It's the number one cause of death of people 18 to, I think, 18 to 49. Overdosing, right? | ||
| Overdosing. | ||
| They put all opiates together, so it's 75,000. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I thought it was 100. Number one cause of death. | ||
| Opioid. | ||
| I just typed in opioid overdoses per year. | ||
| Top thing. | ||
| CDC. Drug overdoses per deaths. | ||
| The new data documents that estimated overdose deaths from opioids increased to 75,673 in the last 12-month period ending April 2021. That still beats the flu. | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It still beats the flu. | ||
| It beats the flu. | ||
| He's ahead of the flu by about 10,000. | ||
| Two years before it was 49,000, so that might have been a pandemic uptick. | ||
| MVP, yeah. | ||
| No, 2017 wouldn't be pandemic at all. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The one I just read that was the higher number was 2021. Oh. | ||
| And then 2019. 2021? | ||
| How many people died from the flu? | ||
| No, 75,000 people died from the opioids in 2021. I never looked up the flu numbers for that year. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So, well, this is a, yeah, now I understand what you're saying. | ||
| So the pandemic rise would be higher because of a lot of suicides and drug overdose. | ||
| Yeah, just on the screen, there's these two things from, it says 2019 was 49,000, 2021 was 75,000. | ||
| The pandemic happened in that time period, that could be a... | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah, they've talked openly about how the fact that drug overdoses and suicides have gone way up. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I was just trying to clarify that. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| No, I was just confused at first. | ||
| But I think that... | ||
| So people can't handle the overdose, so everybody can because he handled that flu-like symptom you're saying. | ||
| No, here's my question. | ||
| If you made it legal, how many people would die? | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| I mean, people die of... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Legal heroin, we could buy it at 7-Eleven. | ||
| I mean, people die of Oxycontin every day, too. | ||
| They do. | ||
| That's legal. | ||
| They do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it's interesting. | ||
| If someone writes something down, if the guy went to school, writes something down on a piece of paper and gives it to you, and you go to get your drugs... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Good job. | ||
| Opium was legal back in the day, right? | ||
| The thing that's nasty about heroin is the needle aspect of it and the disease transfer. | ||
| Don't a lot of people just sniff it though? | ||
| A lot of people do, but shit, a lot of my folks... | ||
| Carl Hart was telling me he just sniffs it. | ||
| Oh, he just sniffs it? | ||
| Just sniffs it. | ||
| Oh, he just sniffs it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Like, you don't have to be, like, shoot in your veins. | ||
| That's not necessary. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I don't think Diaz ever did that either, way, way back in the day when he had tried heroin. | ||
| If they put heroin in a pill form or something like that, then yeah, they probably make it work. | ||
| 1924, it became illegal. | ||
| Don't they, though? | ||
| I mean, that's basically what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| 100%. | ||
| Synthetic. | ||
| Go back to that, Jamie. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| When did heroin became illegal in 1924? | ||
| After a few decades of legal use, heroin use and misuse rose rapidly. | ||
| It became clear that heroin was a highly addictive substance. | ||
| The United States government made heroin illegal in 1924. So this was, by the way, this was legal during the Prohibition era. | ||
| Up until 24, right? | ||
| That's just because they didn't know how to sell it. | ||
| When did the Prohibition end? | ||
| When did the Prohibition end? | ||
| The 30s. | ||
| Yeah, it lasted for a while. | ||
| But it started, what, 1921, 1920? | ||
| Yeah, they had some movements that didn't take off for a while, and then one finally stuck. | ||
| Listen, man, if you could get away with not getting arrested during those days, you know how fun it would be to be drunk? | ||
| Well, not for us. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Not for you. | ||
| Yeah, we can't really go back in time. | ||
| We can't do that. | ||
| But imagine if we could. | ||
| I mean, if there was a time like today, like if they found out that alcohol was like the source of the resistance, like if they did studies and they found out, you know, people are more willing to do a lot of things if they just don't drink. | ||
| If there's too much, fuck it in drinking. | ||
| We've got to make drinking illegal. | ||
| Liver sclerosis, and it's contributing to the environmental problem that we're experiencing. | ||
| If they just make alcohol illegal. | ||
| It could have been the hospital thing again. | ||
| But do you know how fun it would be to be drunk if alcohol was illegal? | ||
| Fine. | ||
| It was, though. | ||
| It would be so fun. | ||
| I mean, it created mobsters in America. | ||
| It did. | ||
| It did. | ||
| Al Capone made a lot of his money from Prohibition. | ||
| A lot of the monsters did. | ||
| And we all learned. | ||
| I mean, I say, you know, street gangs and the drug hustle. | ||
| Bro, that's where NASCAR came from. | ||
| Right! | ||
| NASCAR came from guys who were running whiskey in their cars and trying to get away from cops, so they souped up their cars. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Isn't it wild as shit? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Moonshiners! | ||
| So, yeah, we ain't got nothing for no heroin, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing. | |
| You could die easy from moonshine. | ||
| I got a fucking mason jar of moonshine someone gave me. | ||
| Bro, you take an eight-hour glass, you're taking a dirt nap, bitch. | ||
| You ain't gonna make it. | ||
| You ain't gonna make it. | ||
| Yeah, that shit is crazy, that moonshine shit. | ||
| I can't fuck with that. | ||
| It's paint, then. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if they make a... | ||
| It doesn't taste good. | ||
| See, buffalo tastes good. | ||
| Intravenous drug use tastes good. | ||
| Cheers, gentlemen. | ||
| I'm having a good time. | ||
| My man. | ||
| Moses! | ||
| And we're gonna be judges tonight on Kill Tony. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Or guests. | ||
| I'm down there. | ||
| And Alchemist in town, too. | ||
| He got a show. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Alchemist. | ||
| Earl Sweatshirt. | ||
| There's a lot of shit going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Action Bronson. | |
| Is he in town this week? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's in town. | |
| Oh. | ||
| They got the tour. | ||
| That dude, he came on my podcast fat and then fit. | ||
| Yeah, now he's a bodybuilder. | ||
| But we worked out together. | ||
| We went over to the honor gym. | ||
| We trained together. | ||
| I'm like, this dude fucking really gets after it, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so impressive, like a guy who just ate food and smoked weed his whole life, and then all of a sudden trimmed himself down like this super fit. | ||
| Like he got stuck in traffic. | ||
| So he did 200 push-ups and 200 squats while he was stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. | ||
| Just savage. | ||
| Go get him, Bronson. | ||
| And he's like a genuinely sweet guy. | ||
| Look at him there. | ||
| Bro, that guy lost a fucking ton of weight. | ||
| He did. | ||
| And I'm telling you, when we work out together, click on that one where he's using that club belt. | ||
| Right there, yeah. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Dude, this is hard shit to do, man. | ||
| Hell yeah, it is. | ||
| These clubs, that dude is a tank now. | ||
| Like, we did a lot of shit together when we went to the Onnit gym and we trained together. | ||
| And that dude is strong as fuck. | ||
| Oh, he's dancing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's a weightlifter now. | ||
| He's a bodybuilder. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| He does a lot of functional fitness stuff. | ||
| Like he does a lot of kettlebells and maces and shit like that. | ||
| Like when he's on tour, he brings like kettlebells with him and he works out in the green room and shit. | ||
| He's flipping tires. | ||
| He's doing all kinds of wild shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stuff I don't even do. | ||
| Yeah, he look good, man. | ||
| I'm glad. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| He works out every fucking day. | ||
| I'm glad he got his shit together, man. | ||
| I love when that happens. | ||
| Isn't that nice? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He used to be big. | ||
| I fuck with Action Bronson. | ||
| Look at that one where it's thin, though. | ||
| Look at that one right there where it says Action Bronson, Jamie. | ||
| Right next to the big picture. | ||
| Right next to the big picture. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| It's a video game picture. | ||
| Oh, it's fake. | ||
| Is it a video game? | ||
| Oh, they've created him in like UFC video game or something. | ||
| It looks like he's got UFC gloves on. | ||
| Oh, you can do that? | ||
| Someone needs to make you. | ||
| How come no one's made young Jamie? | ||
| I don't know that they have. | ||
| They should give you a golf club, let you fuck people up. | ||
| They will now. | ||
| They will now. | ||
| I told you, I'm going to make this public, Kyle Kalinske's challenged you to golf. | ||
| Bring it. | ||
| Wow, strong one. | ||
| How much is on the line, too? | ||
| Are you a badass golfer? | ||
| I'm fucking up Tony already. | ||
| Okay, okay, I've heard. | ||
| Listen, Jamie, I'm going to be there. | ||
| I'm going to do blow by blow. | ||
| Blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Are we talking about Coke again? | ||
| Play-by-play. | ||
| Play-by-play. | ||
| Okay, play-by-play. | ||
| Misinformation, my bad. | ||
| How was Roast Battle? | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| How's the energy here? | ||
| Yo, I gotta say this about Austin. | ||
| This is like the second best comedy city next to New York right now. | ||
| Like, the progression of this city becoming a comedy city is incredible. | ||
| Now, the energy's great. | ||
| The comics are all really, really good. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Yeah, fuck what you heard. | ||
| Austin, they have really, really good stand-up out here. | ||
| And some hoes out here, too. | ||
| I was in the strip club last night, BYOB, and we're going back again. | ||
| Heads up, ladies. | ||
| This is the king of the strip club, man. | ||
| Heads up, heads up. | ||
| Freddie, you're the king of multiple things. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| A wide array, I should say. | ||
| Definitely, man. | ||
| Austin's got a hell of a roast battle scene, though. | ||
| They have some killers. | ||
| Listen, man, when we open up, we're going to go visit my club as soon as we get out of here. | ||
| And when we open up, dude, whatever you want to do. | ||
| You want to come down once a month? | ||
| You want to come down once a week? | ||
| Whatever you want to do. | ||
| I would love to have roast battle here. | ||
| Calling all roast battlers. | ||
| We're making a roast battle league. | ||
| If you're in any city in the world, roast battle league. | ||
| We're trying to make an NBA, an MLB, an NFL. Yeah, we're trying to go to the Olympics. | ||
| Roast battle is an Olympic sport. | ||
| And I want to own you niggas like Jerry Jones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up! | |
| Back to slavery. | ||
| Roast battle was one of the first things that I saw that made me want to come back to the store. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| So 100% true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I came in the day before Ari's filmed the special. | ||
| You know the whole story. | ||
| I was gone from the store. | ||
| I was banned for seven years. | ||
| Exile. | ||
| And I was in exile. | ||
| I was on my quest. | ||
| And so I came to the store because Ari... | ||
| Was doing a Comedy Central special, rather, the next day. | ||
| And I was like, I can't just show up the day of a special. | ||
| I'm going to show up the day before, and I'm just going to feel the place, because I haven't been there in so long. | ||
| And I saw Rose Battle. | ||
| And I saw you, and I saw what you were doing, how you made people hug it out at the end of this horrible, evil, trash-talking session with each other. | ||
| I'm like, this is what the comedy scene needs. | ||
| They need joke writing and bullshit and fun. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And fun. | ||
| Yeah, you had a handicapped person up there. | ||
| Oh yeah, Joe Urell, man. | ||
| Joe Urell is a savage with the roast battle. | ||
| Cerebral palsy, he's in a wheelchair, but he's one of the best roast writers I've ever seen. | ||
| Some of the meanest, funniest shit I've ever heard is during that roast battle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll say it. | ||
| Here's a joke. | ||
| It's my favorite one at Rose Battle. | ||
| It's talking about Joey Rose. | ||
| So Joey Rose has got cerebral palsy. | ||
| He's in a wheelchair and the cat that was battling him, a Mexican cat named Howard Escobedo, he said, we all know Joe's going to hell because there's a stairway to heaven. | ||
| See that's what I love about Rose Paddle. | ||
| Not that that guy had to experience that and feel that pain. | ||
| I don't love that. | ||
| But I love the writing. | ||
| That's in the spot. | ||
| This is not an old joke that he's had forever. | ||
| It's Spectre Gadget. | ||
| This is gonna blow up in 15 seconds kind of a thing. | ||
| This is a writing exercise, and that's the funniest possible shit you could say right there. | ||
| Joke writer showcase, dog. | ||
| That's a great joke. | ||
| And it's all consensual. | ||
| That's what it's all about. | ||
| Everybody going in there, it's UFC shit. | ||
| We're all consented to get our asses kicked. | ||
| Yeah, like if you watch someone get head kicked. | ||
| Like, bro, you signed up for this. | ||
| You signed up for this, yeah. | ||
| You can't say, yeah, you can cuss afterwards and sue us? | ||
| Yeah, you asked for this. | ||
| Yeah, rappers will never do that shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, they do rap battles, but they be doing this shit. | ||
| No, we get a lot of rap battlers now. | ||
| They try to do roast battles. | ||
| They get cut up. | ||
| Motherfuckers that really get mad, they be in their feelings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Comedy is complicated. | ||
| That's why you got a different thing. | ||
| You got battle rappers, and then you got... | ||
| Rappers that make albums and make songs and shit like that. | ||
| The niggas that make albums and make songs and shit like that, they would never sit there and battle each other and shit and somebody would get shot. | ||
| Think about how many rap feuds have been going on throughout the day. | ||
| Biggie and Tupac. | ||
| It's just a confrontational industry. | ||
| East Coast, West Coast. | ||
| It's just, you know, young black guys getting a lot of money that's, you know, egotistical. | ||
| And guys coming up that want to challenge them. | ||
| Remember Tim Dogg in NWA? We just talk about, you know, casting the face slice. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That's the culture. | ||
| That's the culture. | ||
| It's intertwined with the streets. | ||
| It's just intertwined with the streets. | ||
| You know, if I was a country singer, I wouldn't worry about getting shot going outside. | ||
| I'm a motherfucking rapper, so I'm like, god damn. | ||
| That's why Darius Rucker stayed away from hip-hop. | ||
| He was like, I gotta like this country. | ||
| And another thing too, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| When you're a rapper, every nigga in America feels like they can do your job. | ||
| That's comedy though too, bro. | ||
| But that's comedy, Freddie. | ||
| You feel me? | ||
| Every joker, every dude who's the life of the party, he thinks he can go up and do stand-up. | ||
| But they all think they can also podcast too. | ||
| I'm just like, you can't... | ||
| You're not that guy. | ||
| I don't think people understand what podcasting is. | ||
| It's the same way they don't understand what stand-up is. | ||
| I don't think I understood what podcasting is for like 10 years. | ||
| It took me like 10 years to figure out what it is. | ||
| I was like, oh, this is like a different kind of art form. | ||
| Like everything. | ||
| You can't just think you're just having a conversation with people. | ||
| Because you're not really. | ||
| You're being disingenuous. | ||
| You're having a conversation with people and you're guiding it in an entertaining fashion. | ||
| And you're trying to figure out how to like... | ||
| You've got a lot of shit to figure out, bro. | ||
| Massage it. | ||
| You're the biggest voice in the world right now. | ||
| But that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It's nice, right? | ||
| I did not try for that. | ||
| Dude, I have no interest in that. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| When I signed onto Spotify, I literally said to all my friends, I was like, dude, this is going to be good. | ||
| I'm going to be like 25% less famous. | ||
| I go, that's what I want. | ||
| I want to be like 25% less famous. | ||
| No, they lifted you up. | ||
| Your haters lifted you up. | ||
| It's not even just that. | ||
| It's just like everyone that gets into a certain position doesn't think or talk sloppy. | ||
| Like they talk polished and professional and here we are on the set. | ||
| This is a wild scene, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| There's only a certain amount of like real personality they're allowed to exude into whatever they say, whether they're on a network news show or a talk show or whatever the fuck they are. | ||
| There's not a lot of people that are independent, and we're all confused. | ||
| And we're all trying to figure out, like, is the pattern that everybody subscribes to, is that the right one? | ||
| Does that make sense? | ||
| Or is it just what we have to do if we want to just keep a job, keep in line, don't get in trouble, don't get people mad at you? | ||
| But if you're allowed to just express yourself, just freely, is that how you would talk? | ||
| If you have one life, it lasts maybe 100 years if everything goes perfect, and you're already 54, what the fuck are you supposed to do? | ||
| Are you supposed to pretend? | ||
| Are you supposed to be just following along with all the other nonsense that's going on around you because you want a pension? | ||
| What are you supposed to do? | ||
| Like, at what point in time? | ||
| He's supposed to go, Hey! | ||
| I don't think we have a captain at the fucking wheel of the boat! | ||
| I think the human race doesn't have a captain at the wheel of the boat. | ||
| And we should all have a conversation. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| And I don't want to be the fucking man. | ||
| I don't want to be the man. | ||
| Nobody wants this job, right? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| I just want to let everybody know. | ||
| Like, we're all just fucking people. | ||
| Whether you're a president or a prime minister or a judge or a cop or a fucking pharmacist or a doctor. | ||
| We're just people. | ||
| And there's a problem with all kinds of labels and the way we look at each other. | ||
| I will say this, though. | ||
| I've never seen a black person look like a Planet of the Apes. | ||
| Those guys don't look like black people. | ||
| Who do they look like? | ||
| That cat from Princess of the Bride? | ||
| The guy with the four fingers? | ||
| Are you talking to me about the video? | ||
| Yeah, the Planet of the Apes thing. | ||
| This is what I meant to say. | ||
| Listen to what I meant to say. | ||
| We were high as fuck, and we got dropped off in this neighborhood, and we didn't know where we were going. | ||
| The guy just let us out of the car, and we were barbecued going to see Planet of the Apes. | ||
| I was trying to have an entertaining way of saying it was like we were in Africa. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I said, right after I said it, I go, that's a racist thing to say. | ||
| I wasn't trying to say it that way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look, I fuck things up all the time, which is fine. | |
| Africa, niggas, monkeys. | ||
| You can't really put that in the same shit. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That's not what I mean. | ||
| I mean, Africa is where all the chimpanzees emerge from. | ||
| It's a movie about chimpanzees. | ||
| I didn't mean ever, nor would I ever say. | ||
| Bro, I know. | ||
| Listen, here's the problem. | ||
| We gotta spank you about it. | ||
| I know you do, but I have to be honest about it. | ||
| I just talk shit about everything. | ||
| I don't mean anything bad by it. | ||
| But when I say something, I go, that's not what I meant. | ||
| I really mean that's not what I meant. | ||
| I never say something horrible on purpose. | ||
| If something gets fucked up like that... | ||
| You had the niggas in Philly talking about, oh, Joe thinks we some motherfucking buckets. | ||
| Listen, if anybody is what I am. | ||
| I didn't want to say that because that would be racist. | ||
| I have a whole bit. | ||
| I have 57% more Neanderthal than a regular person. | ||
| You have a whole special of it, right? | ||
| I have a whole bit about it. | ||
| Like what I'm doing right now. | ||
| I'm more Neanderthal than most people. | ||
| Which is fucking obvious. | ||
| Yeah, I just want this for the right and left wingers to be like... | ||
| Moses, I love you, so I'm glad you're the one who brought it up. | ||
| It's just one of those things. | ||
| It was fucking 11 years ago. | ||
| It's one of those things where you say and you're high. | ||
| We used to do those shows back in the day, first of all. | ||
| We would do them. | ||
| We would smoke a volcano. | ||
| You know those things? | ||
| Those vaporizers? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Joey and Red Band and I, we hit that goddamn volcano and it just puts you in a coma. | ||
| And you have to struggle with your own thoughts while you're thinking them. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| I do nigger jokes all the time when I'm high. | ||
| Well, I got to do a video this week where I got to be set on fire and I'm going to get a white stunt, man. | ||
| You got to be set on fire for what? | ||
| Yeah, because I'm doing a video where I'm crashing from space. | ||
| It's going to be crazy, man. | ||
| From space? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Can't they CGI that shit in now? | ||
| Nah, man, we gotta make it real. | ||
| You really gonna go in space? | ||
| I think they can make it. | ||
| Shipping you into space. | ||
| But obviously you're not really going into space, so why can't they CGI the whole thing? | ||
| Everybody's like, when Freddy was in space, that was unrealistic. | ||
| But once it got to the ground, boy, that looked like real fire. | ||
| You see that shit with Bill Cosby and the implemented black stuntman in Hollywood? | ||
| That was one good thing that he did. | ||
| Bill Cosby's the first guy to bring in black stuntmen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Was he really? | ||
| That's what they said on the doc book, because before they had white dudes and they were just painting them black. | ||
| Oh, they was black facing them? | ||
| Yeah, they was black facing Bill Cosby stuntmen on I Spy. | ||
| Yeah, if I was Bill Cosby, I'd have done that too. | ||
| Like, hey man, come on. | ||
| Like, this is the most offensive shit. | ||
| He put niggas on for stuntmen. | ||
| They'd be like, Bill, what about that Spanish fly you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you ever watch any of that Al Jolson shit? | |
| Dog. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It's gotta be. | ||
| Come on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's wild. | |
| Let's watch some of it. | ||
| Al Jolson. | ||
| Al Jolson was like the first blackface guy, the minstrel guy from like the early 1900s. | ||
| Yeah, he wasn't the first. | ||
| He was the most famous. | ||
| He was the most famous? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, one of the first is what I meant to say. | ||
| Oh, you that piece of shit. | ||
| So this guy... | ||
| Back then, like, he would, I mean, you gotta imagine, what year is this? | ||
| What year is this? | ||
| The first movie with sounds, 1927. 1927. So, in 1927, this is how far human beings have gone in a hundred years. | ||
| So the minstrel show is in the mid-1900s, the early 1900s, like the most popular form of entertainment. | ||
| Let's stop and think about... | ||
| But what was so entertaining about being a nigga to them? | ||
| That's what I hated black people, bro, back then. | ||
| This is also what it was. | ||
| Like, the human race was emerging into a new understanding of what's fucked up and what's not. | ||
| Post-Civil War, right. | ||
| What's okay and what's not okay? | ||
| And this this was the first time they were ever experimenting with media You got to realize in like the 1920s like they're making movies the first movies everyone anyone's ever seen so no one Understands what it's like to make something that a lot of people are gonna see no one knows what it's like to to like see something like this in a movie and then also they have this thing where they don't want a A black person to play this role. | ||
| They want a white guy to pretend he's a black guy, which is just crazy. | ||
| That's kind of why. | ||
| Because he doesn't look, he looks like a guy with makeup on. | ||
| He does not, this is like completely unrealistic. | ||
| This is the nice shit, though. | ||
| The menstrual shows, I mean, like the other ones aren't this nice, you know what I mean? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Like they're literally just portraying black people eating watermelon and, you know, acting like runaway slaves. | ||
| You know, this is a little more stand-up and they want to be a little more classy. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| Robert Downey Jr. did this shit in Tropic Thunder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I talked to Jamie Foxx about that. | ||
| Yeah, how do people really... | ||
| And I talked to Robert about it, too. | ||
| It's like, you can't do that today. | ||
| Nah, you can't. | ||
| You would never be able to do that today. | ||
| How did he get away with it in Tropic Thunder, though? | ||
| He got a Golden Globe nomination for it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yes! | ||
| Dude, it's a great performance. | ||
| I mean, I hate to say it. | ||
| Okay, Joe, you trippin' again. | ||
| Listen, I'm not saying he should do it, he definitely shouldn't do it again, and no one should make a Tropic Thunder 2. No, but even people would say that, like, ah, he's pretty good in it, though. | ||
| I'm an associate from San Antone! | ||
| There's a value into, oh my god, you can't do this. | ||
| There's a value to watching that. | ||
| As a comic, when you're watching something, you're like, oh my god, I can't believe you're fucking doing this. | ||
| Billy Crystal's been in blackface, Howard Stern's been in blackface, Jimmy Campbell's been in blackface. | ||
| Listen, that feeling of, oh my god, I can't believe you're doing this, is why I love Kyle Dunnigan. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, did you see that Nancy Pelosi thing? | ||
| Yes, that's what I'm saying, man. | ||
| It's... | ||
| Have you seen this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's goddamn genius. | ||
| Him playing... | ||
| I want to see it. | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| Pull it up, Jeremy. | ||
| Yeah, but Dunnegan's brilliant. | ||
| Dunnegan playing Nancy Pelosi on a fucking talk show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just in time for the lightning round. | |
| No, no, no, it's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was easy. | |
| This should probably be a lure against congresspeople trading stocks. | ||
| We just haven't gotten around to it. | ||
| I mean, this is fucking amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, let's get batshit. | |
| Nancy Pelosi, give it a financial advice show. | ||
| Booyah. | ||
| I read your husband bought Google just before the antitrust bill vote. | ||
| You guys made five million dollars. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| So, was that like luck? | ||
| Yes, it was a miracle. | ||
| Thank you, George Floyd. | ||
| Look at her hands. | ||
| She's got skeletons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, Mark from Illinois. | |
| Booyah, Nancy. | ||
| Booyah. | ||
| Can I hold on to my Tesla position before the eBay bill passes? | ||
| A little birdie told me I'll be voting the other way. | ||
| You newbies at home, don't be discouraged. | ||
| I lost a lot of money in the market, but things really turned around when I started making lures. | ||
| When we come back, I'm gonna jingle all my jewelry in your face. | ||
| You'll like it. | ||
| Kyle Dunnigan's a goddamn genius. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| He's a genius. | ||
| I mean, the thank you George Floyd line is, that is primo, primo. | ||
| It was a miracle. | ||
| It was a miracle. | ||
| Use that man to jumpstart their power. | ||
| I mean, come on, y'all. | ||
| My goodness, get him, Kyle. | ||
| Get him every time with that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| He does everybody, too. | ||
| He can do Biden. | ||
| He does an amazing Biden. | ||
| He does a good Michael Jackson. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does everybody. | |
| Oh, my God, that Michael Jackson was ruthless. | ||
| So it's not blackface if they do Michael Jackson. | ||
| I was going to say, like, the deepfake. | ||
| Can you blackface with deepfake? | ||
| That's a very good question. | ||
| Yo! | ||
| Right? | ||
| If you're a white guy and you have to do, like, Samuel Jackson, is that what you have to face swaps? | ||
| That's blackface. | ||
| You have to face swap Samuel? | ||
| That is kind of. | ||
| That's new blackface. | ||
| That's digital blackface. | ||
| Right, so the only way you'd be comfortable with that is if it was a black guy doing Samuel Jackson's voice. | ||
| If it was a black guy who was an impressionist. | ||
| They're doing a caricature of what they think is a black person. | ||
| And then they have the Samuel Jackson face swap. | ||
| That's okay. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Do white people get mad? | ||
| I'm just trying to lay down the laws for white people so everybody understands. | ||
| Do white people get mad? | ||
| When Dave Chappelle do white face? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or white chicks? | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck. | ||
| Yeah, Eddie Murphy, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because it's always punching down for white people. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's asserting power over people because they're the majority. | ||
| So when every time a black person does it, we're just punching up? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Well, Pryor had the best version of it. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| Well, we had a bunch of... | ||
| When he would do the best version of the white guy voice... | ||
| Oh, he created it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right, right, right. | |
| He created it. | ||
| Hey, my mom was a wonderful gal... | ||
| My mom? | ||
| Well, my mom was a wonderful gal. | ||
| It's like 1950s, what was on TV. It's like Isaac Newton, white guys. | ||
| It's like the fake dudes, like the very first people, like Leave it to Beaver. | ||
| The dad on Leave it to Beaver never jacked off. | ||
| Why would I? He does it the best, right? | ||
| Making you guys sound like, yeah, like, emasculating a little bit, yeah. | ||
| Well, not just that. | ||
| Like, turning them into, like, dopey robots. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, hey, hey, my gal. | ||
| Why are you talking about my gal? | ||
| So, you know, it's like they're stuck. | ||
| They're stuck, like, ten years earlier. | ||
| I mean, when you look at, like, Pryor's emerging era, which is, like, the 1970s and, like, into the 80s, right, when he, like, emerged as a superstar, like, those people were dorks. | ||
| I mean, it's just, it's brilliant to see, like, hey, white people, I mean, nobody likes to be talked about, but, like, here's one person who's making this, like, is obviously honky or white, you know, like, those aren't as hard as the word, the N-word. | ||
| But when this cat's doing it, it's almost like he's talking shit about us, but this is really funny. | ||
| Yeah, they were happy to watch it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I think people were more comfortable with talking shit about each other back then, too, which is why Archie Bunker worked. | ||
| Word. | ||
| Do you ever see that fucking scene where Archie Bunker is talking to Sammy Davis Jr.? | ||
| It's been going around, like, right now, because it's like, apparently today's the 50th anniversary of All in the Family. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And Archie Bunker and Sammy Davis Jr. talking shit to each other. | ||
| It is fucking hilarious. | ||
| He was talking shit to him? | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| Yo, you have that? | ||
| Try to find it, man. | ||
| Try to find it. | ||
| It was the 50th anniversary. | ||
| Sammy Davis Jr. and Archie Bunker talking shit to each other. | ||
| It's so funny, man. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| It's like, it's what we, like most, it's like backstage, green room, shit talk. | ||
| We talk so much shit to each other. | ||
| We get so used to it. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| You can't be around normal people saying that because they get hurt. | ||
| We talk so much shit to each other, but we talk so much shit about life, about everything. | ||
| And your whole idea is like, make the comics laugh. | ||
| That's what it's all about. | ||
| I mean, you know, that's what it's really all about. | ||
| It's tough to do on this podcast because everybody's, you know, judging us for it. | ||
| Yeah, we'll be all right. | ||
| Sammy Davis Jr., here it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can't let him nut. | |
| There's much in with the briefcase now there, Sammy. | ||
| I'll let him right in. | ||
| The high arch. | ||
| Come on, sir. | ||
| We're white, dear. | ||
| We're white. | ||
| I don't think this is it. | ||
| I'm not sure if it's the right clip. | ||
| There's only two clips popping up. | ||
| It said he kisses him. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is one that's a little longer, but I don't know if it's the right thing. | |
| Cross the street. | ||
| Anyway, it doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter, but folks can find it if you just watch the show. | ||
| Whenever Sammy Davis Jr. was on with Archie Bunker, they talked a lot of shit to each other. | ||
| It was very funny. | ||
| I just watched this one clip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Well, in the meantime, will you make yourself at home, huh? | ||
| We'll get you some coffee, huh? | ||
| Oh, that's awfully nice of you. | ||
| Yeah, sit right down here, Mr. Davis. | ||
| Right in my chair. | ||
| Make yourself comfortable. | ||
| It's the best in the house. | ||
| Listen, Mr. Davis, I gotta tell my mother you're here. | ||
| She's crazy about it. | ||
| Oh, man! | ||
| We're going to have to watch this whole show to interpret this. | ||
| That's definitely not the scene. | ||
| It was just fun. | ||
| They were just talking shit to each other. | ||
| It was funny. | ||
| Sammy Davis is a cold, cold dude. | ||
| He was cold. | ||
| I mean, the stuff that he's seen and been through, I mean, being in the Rat Pack and all the racism, but also being a Jewish cat, you know? | ||
| He lost an eye, right? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Bushwick Bill also had to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Didn't he... | |
| Did that happen like... | ||
| Was that self-inflicted? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Or was it a girlfriend? | ||
| Bushwick or... | ||
| With Bushwick, I think a girlfriend did it to him, right? | ||
| He did it. | ||
| I think he did it. | ||
| Self-inflicted? | ||
| That's what made me want to listen to Ghetto Boys as a kid. | ||
| I was like, this is some scary shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Those are your guys, Ghetto Boys. | ||
| You always talk Ghetto Boys when we're hanging out. | ||
| I love Ghetto Boys. | ||
| When I delivered newspapers, I would listen to Ghetto Boys almost every day. | ||
| I love the Ghetto Boys. | ||
| When I was just beginning as a comedian, I would listen to cassettes, and I would just drive around and deliver newspapers. | ||
| I listened to the same Ghetto Boys cassette like 30 fucking times in a row. | ||
| That's what I had to walk with. | ||
| Ice-T, back in those days, when he wrote the soundtrack for Colors, or was on the soundtrack. | ||
| Oh yeah, Ice-T, the man. | ||
| Wasn't Sammy Davis like the first cat on Playboy After Dark or something? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Was he on stand-up or singing? | ||
| Playboy After Dark? | ||
| Yeah, the Hugh Hefner show. | ||
| Oh yeah, they was talking about that on the Bill Cosby doc. | ||
| Hugh Hefner was letting black comics and stuff come in because they couldn't really go anywhere else and things of that nature. | ||
| He was real instrumental in that. | ||
| Those Hugh Heffern days are probably pretty fucking wild. | ||
| Because that guy just had a bunch of people over his house to party. | ||
| And had a magazine. | ||
| Everybody thought of Playboy as just being naked people, which it was. | ||
| But it was also interesting interviews. | ||
| I read a book once that was the best of the Playboy interviews. | ||
| Somebody gave it to me, a buddy of mine, like, check this out. | ||
| There's like Kerouac in there, like a bunch of people in there. | ||
| Sinatra was a big one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A contributor? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's this? | ||
| Sammy Davis After Dark. | ||
| So this is on the Playboy channel? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| This is at Playboy Mansion. | ||
| No, it was like a network show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Look at these people. | ||
| They're from another planet. | ||
| Stop for a second. | ||
| Can you imagine if we had a way of using a telescope into space to check out another planet? | ||
| When we saw America in 1950, we'd be like, oh my god, look at these dorks. | ||
| Right, though? | ||
| Separated, dressed up, I mean... | ||
| Oh my god, so weird. | ||
| And also, like, no technology. | ||
| Like, almost cave people. | ||
| We're like a couple of generations removed from straight barbarism. | ||
| Like, in 1920, how many years of electricity are we even talking about? | ||
| Is it a hundred? | ||
| I think it's still what kerosene, right? | ||
| What year? | ||
| Like what year did electricity get distributed across the entire country? | ||
| It depends what city you're in because a lot of places didn't have it. | ||
| Well, let's go with Chicago. | ||
| Chicago World Fair is like 1898. They sort of showed it off. | ||
| I mean, they had it, but they showed it off. | ||
| So that's almost 1900. This is only 50, 60 years later. | ||
| That ain't shit, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That ain't shit. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's such a small window of time, and all of a sudden we have electric fucking record players? | ||
| Yeah, we're doing everything now. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, we're going to have flying cars within like three years? | ||
| I hope not. | ||
| But I mean, between those 60 years, between no electricity and then movies, Chicago World's Fair, 1893. Wow. | ||
| 1893, President Grover Cleveland pushed a button that lit nearly 100,000 incandescent lamps illuminating the city. | ||
| Demonstrating how electricity will forever change the nation, making it readily available to residents everywhere. | ||
| Wow, can you imagine being alive the day they hit the switch? | ||
| I mean, that's it. | ||
| No electricity ever. | ||
| No electricity ever. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, ka-chunk! | ||
| Well, that creates nightlife, right? | ||
| In essence, right? | ||
| That's what it looked like. | ||
| I think that's what they lit up. | ||
| Yeah, nigga. | ||
| If not, you was riding around in your buggy holding your goddamn lanterns. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or, yeah, you weren't. | ||
| But you know what the problem is? | ||
| As soon as they turn that on, you stop seeing the stars. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's the real mindfuck. | ||
| The biggest advancement in human technological history is electricity, because it allowed all the other advancements to come out of it, whether it's electronics or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Everything has to be powered by electricity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But when you turn it on, you can't see the stars anymore. | ||
| So you get confused. | ||
| So people only focus on their tasks. | ||
| It's almost like a little drug. | ||
| Like a little sedative drug that keeps us from seeing the cosmos. | ||
| So you only see like a blank slate. | ||
| That would change human DNA, wouldn't it? | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| We're so less concerned about space and the fact that we're hurling through it. | ||
| I think any civilization before light I think when they didn't have light, they would look up and they would go, what? | ||
| Like this. | ||
| This is what they would see. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| Fuck them stars. | ||
| I need my iPhone charged. | ||
| Fuck the cosmos. | ||
| Should I see these hoes on Instagram? | ||
| I see your point as well. | ||
| And I think you're making some very valid points. | ||
| No, I want my phone charged too. | ||
| I don't want to live like a fucking K person. | ||
| You know, I like getting my email. | ||
| I think what we need to do is figure out like a one holiday year where everybody shuts the lights off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| And just see the stars. | ||
| Niggas gonna get robbed. | ||
| That's the purge, Joe. | ||
| That is the purge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was saying that as soon as I was saying it, I was like, Joe, that sounds like the purge. | |
| What is this, buddy? | ||
| I was just reading about that vanishment they called it in Chicago. | ||
| It was a pastime where people would disappear, things could happen at night, and then that ruined this... | ||
| The lighting up. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Many unsolved murders occurred in Chicago. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Yeah, see dude, you can't allow- Turn the lights on? | ||
| Oh shit, look at all these dead bodies. | ||
| You can't give people a purge day. | ||
| No. | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| They want a purge week. | ||
| And they want a purge month. | ||
| Fuck you, we're playing purge. | ||
| Black history month started with a day, and then it was a week, and now it's a whole two weeks. | ||
| It was a black history day? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was a day, then it was a week, and now it's a month. | |
| You know when you guys pay attention to shit like when they make laws where you can steal as much as 900 bucks worth of stuff. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then we won't even arrest you. | ||
| So people just go, okay. | ||
| And they just walk out of stores and steal 900 bucks worth of stuff. | ||
| What kind of message is that? | ||
| That's like LA right now. | ||
| I know it's crazy. | ||
| But it's like, who came up with that idea and did you think that shit through at all? | ||
| And why are you still doing it? | ||
| Like, imagine if you did anything else like that. | ||
| Imagine if you said, like, how long has that pan been on the stove? | ||
| Five minutes? | ||
| I think I can put my hand in it. | ||
| I think I'm okay. | ||
| And you didn't, like... | ||
| You put your hand out of there. | ||
| But if you're like, I'm just going to keep it and see how this turns out. | ||
| That's what they're doing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what they're doing right now. | ||
| They're letting people just steal things. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Right back on the street. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You obviously have a real problem. | ||
| Do you want this to be like this? | ||
| That's what we keep asking in LA. What's going on? | ||
| When you see like a thousand tents. | ||
| Jail is packed, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jail is packed? | |
| Jail is packed, man. | ||
| They letting your ass out real quick. | ||
| See? | ||
| Especially if you get COVID. You're like, man, I got COVID, man. | ||
| I know a lot of niggas that came up on COVID. I'm like, damn, nigga, you snitch? | ||
| I'm like, nah, nigga, COVID-19. | ||
| Snitching on COVID, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They let a lot of people out really early with COVID. They did. | |
| A lot of people out. | ||
| The crime rate is up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The crime rate is up in Los Angeles. | |
| Why do you think that people mismanage things? | ||
| Do you think it's a conspiracy? | ||
| Do you think they want a certain amount of chaos? | ||
| That pandemic did a lot of crazy things to people. | ||
| I've never seen what happened to humanity in America like I've seen what happened during the pandemic lockdown. | ||
| To their minds, right? | ||
| Everybody's a little bit more nuts on the coast. | ||
| Were there a little bit more angry at random shit that goes on that doesn't necessarily make sense? | ||
| There was a certain amount of ridiculousness that would be attached to getting mad about things that weren't really that infuriating. | ||
| And then, over time, it seems like the more safety people have, the more they come up with shit that pisses them off. | ||
| So it's just an excuse to get pissed off? | ||
| Yeah, I think people like finding enemies and anger other than themselves. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| I think it's a natural thing. | ||
| I think we got two things going on simultaneously that we talked about earlier. | ||
| We got the tribal thing where we all, every human on this planet originated from We originated from a small group of people trying to defend themselves against other small groups of people that were trying to steal resources. | ||
| Until they figured out agriculture and how to compound cities together. | ||
| That's all relatively new, man. | ||
| According to these people that study the human genome, it takes like 10,000 years To see, like, these big changes in your DNA. We have, like, the DNA of people that lived thousands and thousands of years ago. | ||
| They'd be identical to us. | ||
| Generational fucking trauma, yeah. | ||
| And they all have these imprinted memories of going to war with neighbors. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Do you know how, like, when the dark, like, every child, no matter where you live, when it's dark, what are you scared of? | ||
| Monsters. | ||
| Monsters. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because we used to get eaten by cats. | ||
| We were afraid of lions and jaguars and leopards and big cats that would get us out of our houses, our shelters. | ||
| We weren't top of the food chain, right? | ||
| We weren't top of the food chain. | ||
| But we invented weapons and we became that, right? | ||
| We became top of the food chain. | ||
| But along the way, we developed these memories. | ||
| And that's why little kids are scared of monsters. | ||
| There's a guy named Rupert Sheldrake. | ||
| He wrote about this. | ||
| He was on my podcast way, way back in the day. | ||
| Really interesting guy. | ||
| But he wrote about this, that this is the reason why these people have these memories and these fears. | ||
| It's genetically driven. | ||
| That's the same thing with tribalism. | ||
| That's the thing that keeps us all from really connecting with each other. | ||
| To realize everybody, whether you're from Sweden or Africa or China, we're just... | ||
| The only thing that can separate us is communication. | ||
| If we all just figured out a way where we can all look at things rationally and say, there's no reason for us to ever shoot missiles at each other. | ||
| Nobody! | ||
| This is for animals to try and kill us. | ||
| Imagine if aliens were invading. | ||
| Reagan talked about that shit in the 1980s. | ||
| How quickly we would abandon all of our issues with each other if the human race is being attacked by an alien race from another planet. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That was in Watchmen, wasn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like an alien octopus or something like that came down and the whole human race just formed together. | ||
| What was that in? | ||
| Watchmen. | ||
| Oh, the Watchmen? | ||
| Yeah, on HBO? Oh, I didn't watch the HBO one. | ||
| I watched the movie. | ||
| No, it's better than the movie. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's the best series I saw before the pandemic, yeah. | ||
| Ew, Regina King killed it. | ||
| There's almost too many fucking things to watch. | ||
| I know, but this one's good, bro. | ||
| Okay, I'll watch it. | ||
| Well, I just finished Ozark, so I got some room. | ||
| This one will fuck you up, though. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| Real good, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I watch my new show, Bust Down. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Bust Down is a new show I'm on Peacock, Jack Knight, Sam J. So Peacock, it's a streaming NBC version? | ||
| Yeah, it's like their HBO Max. | ||
| Yeah, pretty much. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's so many of them. | ||
| That comes out when? | ||
| March 10th? | ||
| March 10th, yeah. | ||
| Bust Down's going to be dope. | ||
| It's a culture changer. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's a comedy about a casino in Gary, Indiana, actually. | ||
| I played the manager of the casino. | ||
| It's comedy, dawg. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sliding into this comedy lane right now, man. | |
| Look at you, Freddie. | ||
| Bro, I saw the first two episodes. | ||
| I mean, Jack Knight, Sam J, Langston Kermit, Chris Redd. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Shout out to Langston, man. | ||
| That's going to be a hit, man. | ||
| And Freddie is, I mean, if you've never seen Freddie Gibbs act to be funny, you're about to see it. | ||
| I can imagine you can do whatever the fuck you want, Freddie. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| I got a lot of big roles coming up right now. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, I'm excited to see you do a bunch of different shit. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I'm doing comedy, action shit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm in a vampire movie that's about to come out. | ||
| I'm in this other movie. | ||
| You're in a vampire movie? | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It's going to be crazy, man. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| It's going to be crazy, dawg. | ||
| It's about some vampire cops in LAPD. It's going to be wild. | ||
| Vampire Cops and LAPD. Yeah, it's gonna be wild. | ||
| LAPD's in a weird spot now, huh? | ||
| They're in a weird spot, bro. | ||
| All cops in a weird spot. | ||
| All cops. | ||
| All cops. | ||
| How long before that balances out? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| Not good, kids. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| There's been too many shootings, man, in the past. | ||
| Too many everything. | ||
| Forever, yeah. | ||
| Kids ain't in school, man. | ||
| I just watched a video of a cop suplexing some drunk guy on concrete, and it was so disturbing. | ||
| I was like, that's so goddamn dangerous. | ||
| And if you could suplex a guy who's some drunk dude who's resisting, doesn't want you to arrest him, you could also just trip him. | ||
| You don't have to suplex him. | ||
| This guy hoists him up in the air. | ||
| And suplexes them. | ||
| Like, that is so unnecessary. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So dangerous. | ||
| If you just do a dude like that, and he hits his head, he's a dead man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A dead man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Most likely a dead man. | ||
| Like, most likely. | ||
| Like, very... | ||
| I mean, I don't know what the odds are of you getting suplexed onto the fucking concrete, of you not having a crushed skull. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| But at the very least, you're getting fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| So here's what it is. | ||
| So this guy is resisting. | ||
| He doesn't want to get arrested. | ||
| We'll play it out here. | ||
| The guy's like, no, leave me alone, leave me alone. | ||
| He's dork. | ||
| He doesn't want to get arrested. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| That is on the concrete. | ||
| Knocks him 100% out cold. | ||
| The dude looked drunk anyway. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Totally unnecessary. | ||
| That's a white dude? | ||
| A white dude did it to a white dude. | ||
| Oh, ain't that bad. | ||
| So here it is. | ||
| Freddie! | ||
| I'm so glad you're alive. | ||
| I'm so glad you're you, Freddie. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| Listen, man, you're the perfect guy to come in and talk about all this shit. | ||
| When Moses was like, you want Freddie Gibbs and I to come in and talk to you? | ||
| I'm like, fuck yeah. | ||
| I'm like, that's as real as it gets. | ||
| I got the Agent Smith coming after my man. | ||
| I got to come get him. | ||
| Listen, I love you. | ||
| Yeah, man, I'm like the nigga Morpheus, man. | ||
| I'm Morpheus. | ||
| Come down, man. | ||
| I appreciate both of you, and I love you, Moses. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Always, man. | ||
| I always love you. | ||
| What you brought to Roast Battle was like a comfortable friendship sort of vibe that allowed people to be savages against each other. | ||
| Gotta be a straight man, yeah. | ||
| I say I'm just like a point guard. | ||
| But you kept it friendly and nice. | ||
| Like everybody knew that when they were going to engage with you, it was going to be friendly and nice. | ||
| You're not volatile. | ||
| You're a nice guy. | ||
| No, I'm not going to come at it. | ||
| Yeah, so like you hosting that fucking show where people say the most evil shit to each other sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes we look at each other and we bite our hands. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, and I'll say it again, the whole punch and I'm punching down thing, I get away with it because I'm black. | ||
| Because there's a lot of racial jokes, there's a lot of, I mean, there's all kinds of xenophobia, misogyny, all kinds of stuff. | ||
| I mean, I'm not a woman, but I'm saying there's a lot of racial jokes that go over in that thing. | ||
| And, you know, they look at you as like, are you going to get mad? | ||
| And you're like, it's all good because we consented to it. | ||
| And everybody's like, you know what, man, since you're smiling, we're all going to smile. | ||
| Has anybody ever got mad at a rose battle? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I've watched people get mad. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because somebody said this. | ||
| It was like, when you get hit with something you didn't think you'd prepare for, you're like, I know you thought that about me. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And you're like, damn, I didn't know I had, like, you know, big face. | ||
| Or you thought about my acne like that. | ||
| Or, you know, I got a little dick or whatever the fuck they're saying about you. | ||
| You know, it's like people come hard after your brother who's dead, after your family member who's dead. | ||
| They do. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| No matter. | ||
| Your dad just died. | ||
| Great. | ||
| First joke. | ||
| Monsters. | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| I watched... | ||
| I mean, I don't even want to say what I watched, but the first time I watched it, I was like, wow, I go, this is crazy. | ||
| Boys and girls going after each other. | ||
| But the thing that I thought is, like, this is like a joke-writing exercise. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's always the baseline. | ||
| It's a joke-writer showcase. | ||
| It's not a thing where you're trying to be just mean to a person for no reason. | ||
| Like, you're only doing it if it's like... | ||
| Look, it's not nice to feel that if the punchline is on you, but don't sign up for it. | ||
| Don't sign up for it. | ||
| If you don't want to get kicked in the head, don't fight. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You don't want to fight in the UFC? Yeah, good. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| But if you do, you might get kicked in the fucking face. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's so many comics who come in there and they're just like, I just hate this, but, you know, I gotta do it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's almost like you feel like a bartender. | ||
| You're like, oh, bro, you can't have no more drinks. | ||
| Let me tell you the most frustrating thing for me. | ||
| There are people that do your show and they come up with hilarious jokes to attack other comedians. | ||
| They know are coming for them. | ||
| So they only got... | ||
| How many days do you give them before they know that they're going to roast? | ||
| It depends. | ||
| I mean, some cats, it's two days, it's a week, it's a month. | ||
| What's the most they've ever had? | ||
| Like a month? | ||
| Like a month, yeah. | ||
| Normal, what's like average? | ||
| Average is like a month. | ||
| Okay, so a month is good. | ||
| You give a nigga a month research on it? | ||
| Yeah, hey bro, you know the rap battlers do that too? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They get a year to write, a month to write. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A year? | |
| Yeah, like rap battlers? | ||
| Yeah, that's not freestyling. | ||
| Oh nigga, I can get up there and roast a nigga on the spot. | ||
| I don't need no time. | ||
| I'll fuck a nigga up, man. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, we get some freestylers up there, but for the most part, those are like street jokes, you know? | ||
| So, like, a guy who writes, it's like, they come with horror. | ||
| Well, when you're writing for your fucking history, your personality, and your flaws, and even your pros. | ||
| You actually want your pros. | ||
| You want the time for these guys. | ||
| Yeah, you want the time. | ||
| That's real shit. | ||
| Well, when you watch it, and sometimes they hit, like, a really clever note, and you're like... | ||
| That's a kind of art. | ||
| It's a different kind of art. | ||
| It's a subset of comedy the way that like blues is like rock and roll is a subset of blues. | ||
| You do got to prepare for them motherfuckers. | ||
| They vicious. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You were going to roast battle one time. | ||
| I was like, you better write something. | ||
| It's a kind of art. | ||
| It's part of comedy. | ||
| But it's a part of comedy the same way country music is a part of rock and roll. | ||
| It's kind of connected, but it's a little different. | ||
| The girl who wrote the Rose Battle book, Julie Sebaugh, she says it's another pillar now in the whole genre of comedy. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Sketch, stand-up, improv. | ||
| Here's the one that's missing. | ||
| Props. | ||
| Carrot Top got so goddamn successful, everybody else abandoned props. | ||
| Right, he's the guy, yeah. | ||
| Like, nobody's gonna be like, oh, he's not Carrot Top. | ||
| Exactly, you can't have props. | ||
| Gallagher had the best props to me. | ||
| Pretty good props. | ||
| Sledgehammer. | ||
| Yeah, everybody got plastic. | ||
| Plastic sheets, they would cover each other. | ||
| He would smash fruit. | ||
| Yeah, my dad used to watch Gallagher. | ||
| It'd be funny if Louis starts doing that, just starts jerking up in front of the crowd, and they got the shrink wrap over him. | ||
| Can you imagine if he did that? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That would be funny. | ||
| Yeah, if you did it on Patreon. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They asked for it. | ||
| Or, what's he on? | ||
| OnlyFans? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Oh, man, Louis CK's OnlyFans. | ||
| OnlyFans comedy. | ||
| Be lit. | ||
| We'll do that tomorrow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| OnlyFans? | ||
| He'll be jacking off all day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, well. | ||
| If people are paying, but they want to see it. | ||
| Yeah, if you had a choice, be poor or let people pay to watch you jack off. | ||
| Dog, it's shit. | ||
| I'm telling you, that pandemic lockdown changed the game. | ||
| There's so many small business... | ||
| Ladies and men out there who were doing the OnlyFans thing, I mean, they make a living off of it, bro. | ||
| OnlyFans made a lot of money. | ||
| How many single moms I know who were like, yeah, I quit my job, but I'm killing it right now. | ||
| Playing with their pussy at home. | ||
| I support the small business. | ||
| OnlyFans, you chase the game. | ||
| Here's the real question. | ||
| What's more embarrassing? | ||
| What sucks more? | ||
| What makes you feel worse? | ||
| Working a 12-hour shift at Denny's? | ||
| Or an hour in front of your computer? | ||
| Dog, I'm not working at Denny's. | ||
| I ain't working at Denny's. | ||
| Showing your butt. | ||
| Comedians flock to OnlyFans as the comedy world clutches pearls. | ||
| As the pandemic shutters comedy venues nationwide, female comics are trying out the not-safe-for-work subscription site. | ||
| But can stand-up culture handle the change? | ||
| Who writes this? | ||
| I would much rather do that than fucking telemarketing. | ||
| I just typed in comedy and see what was there. | ||
| What was your day job before you started killing us? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| But can stand-up culture handle the change? | ||
| Who the fuck are you? | ||
| Who's running this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We can't handle it, Brian! | |
| You can't handle the truth! | ||
| I can't. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Can it handle the change? | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| You think it's gonna be okay? | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I'd rather be jacking off than working at Denny's. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Like, would you really be upset if one of your friends used to be a secretary and she hated her job and she made, you know, what does the secretary make? | ||
| I don't even fuck. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Are they still? | ||
| Not enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are they called personal assistants now, right? | ||
| Not secretaries anymore? | ||
| I'm a bit of executive assistants. | ||
| Well, maybe they could make enough. | ||
| You could be a paid secretary or executive assistant, but you could probably just hate your boss. | ||
| I mean, listen, we're talking about sex work, right? | ||
| So, I mean, it just depends on if that's embarrassing to you. | ||
| There's teachers and shit that got OnlyFans on the side. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cops can't because you get fired. | ||
| She could put a gopher mask on and masturbate in front of a camera and make way more money than she makes at Sears. | ||
| Why wouldn't she do that? | ||
| Why wouldn't she do that? | ||
| There's a girl who wears clown makeup and gets fucked or fucks herself. | ||
| Of course there is. | ||
| There's probably a hundred of them. | ||
| There's probably like anti-clown girl masturbate lady. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're making dough. | ||
| I mean, subscriptions for what? | ||
| Yeah, for almost like, you know, streaming prices. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, hopefully they don't get to that, but if times get hard, I'll fuck on the OnlyFans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| If times get hard. | ||
| Yo, just do that. | ||
| I'll just do it. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| I mean, yeah, instead of like, yeah, I was telemarketing when I started stand-up, so yeah, I'd much rather do that. | ||
| Me too, I did that bullshit. | ||
| I used to call niggas and be like, yeah, sir, would you like to get a Discover card? | ||
| They'd be like nigger please Look I get no car for your black ass Fuck you trash Do you remember the Columbia record and tape club no Oh yeah, the Columbia House? | ||
| Yeah, we did like 50 CDs for one cent. | ||
| And then afterwards you had to be a part of a subscription, but nobody paid them. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I signed my mama for that shit. | ||
| She beat my ass. | ||
| I want to know, what kind of Ponzi scheme was that? | ||
| Because where did all that money go? | ||
| Who made the money? | ||
| They sent you a bill. | ||
| Everybody got free CDs. | ||
| That's how niggas got the motherfuckers. | ||
| You remember when Girls Gone Wild came out? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they just took your credit card number. | ||
| You was just getting videos and naked shit every month. | ||
| Wouldn't even stop it. | ||
| Yeah, you couldn't get disconnected. | ||
| You'd have to change your credit card. | ||
| Just crush your interest rates. | ||
| Yeah, you ordering a Girls Gone Wild. | ||
| Man, my daddy had a Girls Gone Wild coming to the house every motherfucking week. | ||
| Well, if it wasn't that, I don't know about Girls Gone Wild. | ||
| I have no knowledge about that. | ||
| But if there was something else, there was a bunch of different things that they did, like different self-help subscriptions you would sign up for. | ||
| The early days of credit cards, no one knew what was going on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Credit cards aren't that old, right? | ||
| They're like from the 80s. | ||
| I used to play pool with a guy who went to jail for making fake American Express cards. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, his name was International Sal. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| That sounds like a nigga that need to go to. | ||
| He was probably doing that. | ||
| International Sal was a big pool gambler. | ||
| How many pool gamblers did you know? | ||
| I knew a lot. | ||
| Yeah, I was a misfit when I was in my 20s, and when I went from Boston to New York, I didn't have any friends, and I started hanging out at this pool hall, and I met a bunch of dudes at the pool hall. | ||
| A buddy of mine was a comic, my friend John Tobin, who also was a manager at this pool hall. | ||
| He would do a shift. | ||
| And he was a comic, and we would hang out there. | ||
| And we all, like, he and I would like, this is a wild, crazy place. | ||
| Some really fucking interesting people. | ||
| A lot of professional gamblers and a lot of addicts and a lot of people that were just like homeless folks who would just come in and hang out. | ||
| So that was like my early 20s. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Pool gambling. | ||
| Damn, people still did that shit. | ||
| Yeah, dude, when I was in New York City in like the early 90s, there was a ton of dudes who would just be hanging around pool halls trying to get games and gambling. | ||
| And they didn't have any jobs. | ||
| They slept on park benches. | ||
| They slept under pool tables. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For the love of some fucking billiards. | ||
| It wasn't that. | ||
| It's just like they could kind of barely get by that way, and that was better than a job. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They would rather get by that way, barely, than wear a suit and show up at a fucking office. | ||
| Well, let me ask you a question. | ||
| Would you rather be shooting pool or jacking off in front of your camera? | ||
| It depends on how much you can make shooting pool. | ||
| I mean, what kind of money are we talking about? | ||
| Everybody says, I would never jerk off in front of a camera. | ||
| You wouldn't jerk off in front of a camera for $89 billion. | ||
| Yeah, you would. | ||
| You'd be like, wait, for how long? | ||
| I'd jack off in front of a camera for $89,000. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You'd be like... | ||
| Bro, I'm telling you. | ||
| Write it right now, nigga. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| Well, $89. | ||
| There's guys who do it for $89. | ||
| There was a Reddit thread about the value of semen for alive U.S. presidents, and Obama's was the most. | ||
| What? | ||
| He should sell it. | ||
| He should get on eBay. | ||
| Dog, I'm saying. | ||
| Imagine if Michelle left Barack and he just started selling his sperm. | ||
| I'm saying! | ||
| Slinging cum? | ||
| If you're a famous guy, if you're a famous guy, like The Rock, if The Rock wanted to sell his cum, damn much he gets... | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Just imagine. | ||
| Just imagine. | ||
| I'm not saying you should buy it. | ||
| I'm not saying you should. | ||
| I don't support this in any way. | ||
| But imagine the world. | ||
| Look, if we can imagine Nazis, we can imagine a world where the rock sales has come. | ||
| What's the price of nut, though? | ||
| Well, it's negotiable. | ||
| He can only do two a day. | ||
| Who's evaluating it being like, well, this is pretty good. | ||
| The market, same as Sotheby's. | ||
| And then buy a painting. | ||
| Uncut gems and cut gems. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, how much can I sell a ounce of nut for? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| If you want to see a fucking car auction, those Barrett-Jackson car auctions, it's all about demand. | ||
| It's all about demand. | ||
| God. | ||
| We got one of The Rock's nuts from 2017. That was a good year. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| That was a good year. | ||
| He signed The Rock. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Signed. | |
| He signs the fucking test tube. | ||
| It's like they open the jar. | ||
| It's all fucking dry ice, steam. | ||
| By the rocks cum. | ||
| Cryogenically frozen, the rocks cum. | ||
| That's worth a million dollars. | ||
| So in my mind, 100% it's a million dollars at least. | ||
| We're being conservative here, okay? | ||
| If The Rock can jerk off twice a day, he makes $2 million a day minimum. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's a chick. | ||
| Dog. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you try to sell your catalog. | ||
| $60 million a year. | ||
| A month, rather. | ||
| $60 million a month. | ||
| I think about how many times I jacked off this week. | ||
| I've been bawling. | ||
| I've been bawling, literally. | ||
| Can you imagine if The Rock jerked off twice a day and sold it and he made billions of dollars? | ||
| He'd be the new Elon Musk. | ||
| This is what I want to know. | ||
| Who will take all these goddamn kids, though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's responsible? | |
| Does he have to give a percentage of that to child support? | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's how they get a nigga. | ||
| That's like the lottery, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's how they get a nigga. | ||
| Child support bringing your whole worth down? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Because you technically are the father. | ||
| Just because you didn't experience pleasure, that is your child. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They would appeal to you on a moral level. | ||
| That is your child. | ||
| Yeah, it's your child. | ||
| Just like in that one movie, She Hate Me, with Anthony Mackie, when he fucked all them hoes, when he was giving his sperm out. | ||
| You seen that? | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| You gotta watch that. | ||
| Well, then I would make sure it might come a spoil first. | ||
| Like, it's gotta be dead. | ||
| Throw hot sauce on it. | ||
| Spoil. | ||
| Isn't that what Drake did? | ||
| Didn't he throw hot sauce in his condom? | ||
| Yeah, that was like the rumor. | ||
| I don't know if it's real, but yeah. | ||
| Of course it's not real. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's like the Steven Seagal story from Ukraine. | ||
| Like, just because it's not real doesn't mean it's not funny and you shouldn't tell it. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| So you're going to sell a bunch of fake dope, fake nut Like you still sell basil and oregano as weed? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You gotta be a man. | ||
| You gotta be a man. | ||
| You gotta sell your real cum. | ||
| And as you get older, it's like, you know, it's more precious because you don't have as much. | ||
| It's like diamonds. | ||
| It's like De Beers. | ||
| I keep that shit squirreled away for a reason. | ||
| Yeah, you get some of that Frank Thomas from Nugenics. | ||
| You'll be alright. | ||
| Sold my cum on NFT. Yeah, cum is only valuable when a woman wants it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right, which is like, how much time do you, at what point in time do you, like, you can keep it? | ||
| Auctioning off cum. | ||
| There's certain people that can do it. | ||
| Right, it's a select few, right. | ||
| You're in that group, bro. | ||
| If a woman could show an NFT of her asshole, like, how many women can make money doing that? | ||
| There's a lot. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| But it's the same thing as who's buying cum. | ||
| Like, what are people doing? | ||
| What are people doing? | ||
| Motherfuckers will buy that shit. | ||
| What are people doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're distracted. | |
| They're distracted by all kinds of nonsense. | ||
| I mean, that's crazy. | ||
| People out there. | ||
| Because that would be like one of the greatest heists ever if you could get Barack Obama's cum. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| That sounds so fucking horrible. | ||
| It sounds terrible. | ||
| It does. | ||
| But imagine a world where that wasn't a moral quandary. | ||
| It wasn't a giant issue. | ||
| He's sorry, Michelle. | ||
| I'm not saying it's going to happen. | ||
| Bill Clinton might be like, fuck it. | ||
| And look, you can take a nigga nut. | ||
| That ain't guaranteed your kid going to be a president. | ||
| He motherfucker might be a crackhead at a pool hall. | ||
| You dig what I'm saying? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
True. | |
| True. | ||
| Most likely. | ||
| Who's else? | ||
| Obama? | ||
| Most likely not going to be a president. | ||
| Most likely, there's no way he could be a president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, what fucking percent? | ||
| The president is like the number one least likely job you would ever have. | ||
| Right, though. | ||
| It's only one of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you said, like, there's no guarantee that if the only problem is the last name. | ||
| If he gets the last name. | ||
| It's Obama. | ||
| Get the last name. | ||
| Like, the Kennedys? | ||
| Yeah, that Kennedy last name. | ||
| You know, there was JFK, there was Bobby Kennedy. | ||
| You know, how many Bushes have we had? | ||
| I'm shooting my nut out there for money. | ||
| I want to be anonymous. | ||
| I don't want to know them motherfuckers. | ||
| Fuck them kids. | ||
| I mean, there are sperm banks. | ||
| I guess they already do this. | ||
| There are sperm banks. | ||
| You bought it, bitch. | ||
| You take that motherfucker. | ||
| You bought the nut. | ||
| You take what come with it. | ||
| You bought it. | ||
| You bought this motherfucker. | ||
| You broke it, you bought it. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I would have to do. | ||
| I have to sign a motherfucking NDA. | ||
| Yeah, NDA. NDA. | ||
| A nut disclosure agreement, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| That's perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck them kids. | |
| Fuck them kids. | ||
| They can't have a name. | ||
| Hell no. | ||
| You can buy a name for a separate fee. | ||
| You can be a give. | ||
| That little motherfucker can be my name. | ||
| Imagine if you just jerked off into a cup for a living. | ||
| That's your move. | ||
| And you realize, listen, I can make $1,000 a load. | ||
| I don't have to talk to nobody. | ||
| I just have to jerk. | ||
| Fuck a job. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Your jizz is worth at least a thousand dollars. | ||
| But I had to take a week or two off because, you know what I'm saying, I ain't going to want to fuck no hoes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| I know, that's going to be a problem. | ||
| Post-nut clarity is a motherfucker. | ||
| You have to decide how much money you want to make in a week. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't have to fucking do it every day. | ||
| But if you thought about, like, if there was an ingredient, if you wanted a child, and there was an ingredient that you can add to an egg that would make a person 100% of the time, How much is that worth? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Maybe we could make it synthetic. | ||
| You don't need real nuts. | ||
| Bro, that's how the robots take over. | ||
| That's how the next version of humans with no emotions take over. | ||
| You don't want that. | ||
| What we are right now, we're flexible. | ||
| We can get along. | ||
| They're already making test tube babies and shit with eye colors and shit like that. | ||
| That's what I hear, but I don't know if that's true because I don't fucking research it. | ||
| We're the misinformation crew. | ||
| Come on now. | ||
| Maybe the misinformation. | ||
| But Musk is building those humanoid robots. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He's not building humanoid robots. | ||
| What are they? | ||
| Where'd you hear that? | ||
| Can we look that up? | ||
| Elon? | ||
| Yeah, Elon Musk. | ||
| They said they're putting more money into robots, and they're pushing back on Tesla production. | ||
| Well, he's doing a bunch of stuff, right? | ||
| One thing he's doing is this Neuralink. | ||
| Yeah, I don't want that. | ||
| It says Tesla is working on humanoid robots. | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| A prototype is supposedly coming sometime next year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't want that. | |
| What? | ||
| When is this? | ||
| Oh, I'm saying. | ||
| Oh, this is like last year, 2021. He's been saying this. | ||
| No, that's kind of, we don't need that. | ||
| I don't think that, this is where I got it confused. | ||
| I don't think they're like abandoning anything else. | ||
| Why do we need it? | ||
| No, they said they were going to push back. | ||
| Yeah, because he wants to really work on these. | ||
| But I don't understand. | ||
| Why do we need a robot person? | ||
| We've seen all the movies. | ||
| We know what happens. | ||
| I don't know that motherfucker too strong. | ||
| Terminator 2, come on now. | ||
| Fuck you up. | ||
| I don't want it. | ||
| So he's gonna push back because he wants more resources for the robots? | ||
| I don't know if it's resources, but I just read it literally on BBC last week. | ||
| So what did he say? | ||
| He said that what they want to do is develop new robots. | ||
| Like, what is he saying? | ||
| He said they'll handle tasks that are unsafe, repetitive, or boring. | ||
| Oh my god, that's how it begins. | ||
| Like, jerking people off. | ||
| What's more unsafe, repetitive, or boring than jerking people off? | ||
| The number one death in America is your dick getting ripped off by a robot? | ||
| If they're all in a room, if they're on a glass room, executive room, and they go, do we want to make money or not? | ||
| Are we playing games here? | ||
| We need these hot robots that would jerk guys off. | ||
| Let's cut the shit. | ||
| Let's just have them wander through the streets. | ||
| Well, they got them sex dolls. | ||
| New slaves. | ||
| With the sex dolls, if you turn them into robots, I wouldn't fuck no robot pussy. | ||
| You wouldn't fuck a robot pussy until it became seductive. | ||
| I mean, I've seen Ex Machina. | ||
| Until it became so interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| Until it became so soft and supple and it looked you in the eyes, Freddy. | ||
| And it didn't care about anything but you. | ||
| And just start stroking the back of your neck. | ||
| And you're like, is this a robot? | ||
| What is happening? | ||
| Right, I mean, they're gonna make it better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This robot with a perfect face that speaks to your DNA. They made that one movie. | |
| What's it called? | ||
| Ex Machina. | ||
| Ex Machina. | ||
| Yeah, but that lady was see-through. | ||
| And that guy still wanted a fucker. | ||
| Imagine what... | ||
| Imagine a see-through pussy. | ||
| Imagine one that wasn't at all any different than you biologically. | ||
| It was just created from a computer. | ||
| And you would fuck it. | ||
| Like weird science. | ||
| Yeah, weird science. | ||
| But here's my thing. | ||
| I would have fucked shit out of that weird science. | ||
| See, so you're saying the same thing. | ||
| By the way, she used to be married to Steven Seagal. | ||
| She was married to Steven Seagal. | ||
| She was bad as fuck. | ||
| She was so cool. | ||
| Back to Steven Seagal. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What I'm saying is if they had a robot that was indistinguishable from a person. | ||
| Like our idea as a robot has to have like screws and bolts and shit. | ||
| But what if it's a robot where it's like artificial skin, artificial flesh, but all of it mirrors. | ||
| And you knew it was a robot? | ||
| And you could turn the bitch on and off whenever you want to? | ||
| Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. | ||
| Nah, I need a switch on the bitch. | ||
| Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. | ||
| Because if I could have that, I'd marry the hoe. | ||
| You say that, Freddie. | ||
| Freddie, this thing is not really a person, but it kind of is really close to a person. | ||
| Do it look and feel like real pussy. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Better. | ||
| Better than real pussy. | ||
| It's got it figured out. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And Freddie, Freddie. | ||
| Like some Terminator 2 pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And Freddie, it loves you. | |
| It loves you. | ||
| Does it have a fuck out? | ||
| It loves everything about you. | ||
| I don't need that bitch to love me. | ||
| I need it to have an on and off switch. | ||
| But it loves everything about you. | ||
| I just need an on and off switch. | ||
| It wants to hug you and care for you and it's always there for you, Freddie. | ||
| I don't want that. | ||
| I just want some pussy. | ||
| Freddie don't crave intimacy. | ||
| That's basically what he's saying here. | ||
| I don't need intimacy. | ||
| Maybe not from humans. | ||
| Maybe Freddie's doing a commercial for these robots like two years later. | ||
| I mean, you almost loved me. | ||
| I was like, wow, she loves me. | ||
| I'm like, man. | ||
| She loves you. | ||
| I'm so emotionally stunted. | ||
| I'm like, Jesus, this is perfect. | ||
| Haven't we done that kind of with dogs? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| I ain't fucking my dogs, though. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| But the love that your dog gives you, it doesn't have to be sex, but the love that your dog gives you is unmatched. | ||
| I seen a bitch kiss a wolf. | ||
| You seen that shit? | ||
| The bitch tongue. | ||
| Tongue kissing a motherfucking wolf. | ||
| I'm not surprised. | ||
| I'm not surprised. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| It was a bunch of wolves. | ||
| They came and they tongue down the bitch. | ||
| You remember I posted that shit? | ||
| I saw that, yeah. | ||
| That shit was crazy. | ||
| I thought them wolves were going to run the train on that bitch. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wolf pussy. | |
| If a woman can have a wolf as a pet, that's like number one. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't think they was pets. | ||
| She was just in the woods fucking with some wolves. | ||
| I mean, a wolf is cool. | ||
| What the fuck is cool about a wolf? | ||
| You seen Game of Thrones? | ||
| Nah, I ain't eating people. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm not fucking with no wolf, nigga. | ||
| Dude, you know how hilarious that is? | ||
| This conversation right here about wolves. | ||
| That wolf is so fucking cool. | ||
| Give me a fox or a wolf. | ||
| Look at this crazy lady. | ||
| Man, she ain't kissing the fucking wolf. | ||
| He's loving it, though. | ||
| His eyes are closed. | ||
| Damn, he's going in. | ||
| He's ready to fuck. | ||
| He's ready. | ||
| Plus, she's probably got a bunch of salt and sweet stuff around her face. | ||
| He's tasting her. | ||
| And he's also letting her nervous her. | ||
| Fucking way nigga right. | ||
| It just takes one Do you know that during the World War one that they stopped the fighting between the Germans and the Russians to fight off wolves? | ||
| They made a truce. | ||
| There was that many wolves. | ||
| They were fighting in like They were getting shot. | ||
| They were leaving behind wounded people. | ||
| The wounded people would get attacked by wolves. | ||
| And so the wolves started figuring out that these battlegrounds, where you hear these bangs go off, that that meant that there was going to be wounded people. | ||
| Somehow or another, I don't know how wolves figure it out, but they come close to each other. | ||
| Soldiers on World War I's Eastern Front fought a common enemy, wolves. | ||
| So these people would get hurt. | ||
| They would get hurt. | ||
| And then these wolves would show up and just start eating these people alive. | ||
| Like, fuck that. | ||
| Guy gets shot in the leg and can't run away and a wolf just takes him down and eats him dick first. | ||
| That was real. | ||
| Dick first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dick first. | |
| So the military, we need that. | ||
| U.S. military needs just like a pack of wolves. | ||
| Dude, but this is a real thing that happened. | ||
| Like, imagine how crazy it is. | ||
| The Russians and the Germans. | ||
| There's an article on Meat Eater about it. | ||
| Because they kind of question... | ||
| Like, I told this to Steve Rinelli. | ||
| He's like, what? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And then it turns out it's true. | ||
| Which is... | ||
| I'm not 100% on those. | ||
| I'm like 8 out of 10 on those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sometimes I got some stories that is just straight up horseshit. | |
| But that one turned out to be real. | ||
| They really did have a ceasefire between the Nazis and the Soviets. | ||
| That's, I mean, that's beautiful. | ||
| It's wild shit. | ||
| The Russians and the Germans decide, I don't think it was the Nazis back then, right? | ||
| Not Nazis, sorry. | ||
| My apologies. | ||
| The Germans and the Soviets in World War I, and they talked to each other and they said, we gotta fight these fucking wolves. | ||
| All they had to do was send that bitch down there to kiss all them motherfuckers. | ||
| Though seemingly far-fetched, it turns out these claims are mostly accurate. | ||
| Historians estimate that soldiers killed hundreds of wolves during the war and that the surviving wolves fled to escape a carnage the like of which they had never encountered. | ||
| So this is just these soldiers decided, for a brief moment, read this, a kind of peace spread across the battlefield even though gunshots and grenade explosions continued to ring out. | ||
| But listen to this, even though gunshots and grenade explosions are going off, at least they don't have to worry about wolves. | ||
| They're comfortable that they can just fight people. | ||
| They don't have to fight these animals that are gonna eat them. | ||
| See, so that would create peace. | ||
| Like, okay, yeah, we're all humans and we gotta kill these other animals. | ||
| That human nature takes back over again. | ||
| It's like what Ronald Reagan said, we all become like a group. | ||
| We're all a community. | ||
| But that's what we're supposed to be. | ||
| A wolf will fuck you up. | ||
| So go send some wolves to the Ukraine and Russia. | ||
| Let's get a peace treaty cracking. | ||
| Yeah, but wolves can't fuck with the guns we have now. | ||
| Right, we got missiles now. | ||
| This ain't World War I. AR-15s. | ||
| We got drones. | ||
| We're going to send robots to fuck you up from the sky. | ||
| I'll shoot the fuck out of wolves. | ||
| Germans used to recruit U.S. black soldiers back in World War I. Germany did? | ||
| Germany did. | ||
| They would use propaganda, like flyers, and they would pass them out to some of the black soldiers and be like, hey, you should fight for us because they don't respect you over there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| They did that in Vietnam, too. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Well, they don't do that anymore, thankfully. | ||
| And thankfully, the government now is only honest. | ||
| So they had nigger Nazis? | ||
| No, this was before World War II, but they definitely did have black Nazis. | ||
| They did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| See? | ||
| Now this is in Watchmen. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But I knew about this before Watchmen. | ||
| So it says the World War I propaganda flyer and this week's The Watchmen was real. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, that whole war was made on bullshit. | ||
| It was all the Gulf of Tonkin incident. | ||
| They made up an attack. | ||
| There were black Nazis, though. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| If you can get a Rachel Dolezal, you can get a black Nazi. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's just like you decide, you commit to a thing. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| That white underbelly, the soft white underbelly YouTube thing I was talking about. | ||
| There's so many people there that are just so lost. | ||
| You realize that anybody could have got them. | ||
| The Moonies could have got them. | ||
| Any kind of cult could have got them. | ||
| The people get caught up in a place where they don't know what the fuck to do. | ||
| And then someone comes along and that someone has a thing that they can join. | ||
| Like a group they could be a part of. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Hey, we're all doing this. | ||
| That seems cool. | ||
| I'm going to go do that. | ||
| Our fucking problems is that people have too much power over other people when they're telling them what to do. | ||
| It's just too much. | ||
| When you get a guy who can force a war with Ukraine, who can just decide he's going to mobilize all these super sophisticated high-tech jets and shoot missiles and... | ||
| That's what they're trying to say about you and the COVID thing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They're like, oh, he's got too much power. | ||
| Anybody who listens to Rogue and A, come on, man. | ||
| We have our own brains. | ||
| They're calling your listeners stupid. | ||
| Brian Moses is hitting all the hot topics today. | ||
| Dog, I'm in. | ||
| It's my man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Leave him alone. | ||
| He's just a comic. | ||
| You're not supposed to have an opinion. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like one of the rare times in history where you're not supposed to have an opinion. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, it's... | ||
| When did the shift happen? | ||
| Like, I'm not... | ||
| I wouldn't 100% say don't listen to me in terms of, like, don't do what I do, but don't stop me from talking about what I think. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| It's not smart. | ||
| That's not smart for any of us. | ||
| For any of us. | ||
| We're having a conversation. | ||
| Everybody should be able to talk about what they think. | ||
| Let's figure this out. | ||
| If you're going to be real about it. | ||
| It's up to them to decide. | ||
| You can't tell me what I shouldn't think if I'm listening to my man right here. | ||
| Right, you can't do my nigga like Papa John. | ||
| Put Papa John, his pizza was all right, but damn, nigga. | ||
| They fuck Papa John. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's still running that shit though, I'm sure he's evolved. | |
| He's getting money. | ||
| He's involved in some way. | ||
| Yeah, they put Shaq in there. | ||
| They put the biggest nigga they can. | ||
| Y'all that gets niggas, we gonna put the biggest nigga in the country. | ||
| Come get this racist pizza. | ||
| Make sure your niggas eat this pizza. | ||
| Talking about the shakaroni. | ||
| Motherfucker don't want no shakaroni. | ||
| Shakaroni seems like... | ||
| There's a suggestion there. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, look at what the shape of a pepperoni is. | ||
| Like, hey, why'd you come up with that word? | ||
| Shakaroni, man. | ||
| He said, yeah, Papa John's Pizza. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shack. | |
| I was talking to this hater at the Comedy Store one night. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| It was a hilarious conversation. | ||
| Didn't make any sense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There was a bunch of us in the hallway and some dude just goes, I heard Shaq's dick was small. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| And I was like, compared to what? | ||
| Like, how is that even possible? | ||
| Have you ever met him? | ||
| He's so big! | ||
| I mean, compared to what? | ||
| Compared to what? | ||
| There's nothing on him that's small. | ||
| But you want me to assume that his dick is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| It's like that makes him less than you? | ||
| Like, you won. | ||
| Finally, I won. | ||
| I mean, girls and guys scarred little dick rumors all the time. | ||
| Dudes might start it. | ||
| It's just the fact that a dude came up to you and that was what he wanted to talk to you about. | ||
| No, it wasn't that. | ||
| It was a bunch of us around. | ||
| It wasn't specifically me. | ||
| But I knew Shaq because I did Fear Factor with Shaq. | ||
| Shaq co-hosted an episode of Fear Factor. | ||
| Dude, I talked about it on stage. | ||
| It was like a six-year-old hanging out with his dad. | ||
| Me standing next to Shaq. | ||
| It's preposterous. | ||
| It is preposterous if we're the same thing. | ||
| He's so much bigger than me. | ||
| Dude, you gotta see the video of him. | ||
| Jamie, see if you can find it. | ||
| He was a fan of Fear Factor. | ||
| So it was like, he's the nicest guy too. | ||
| He's easy to hang out with. | ||
| He's very fun. | ||
| Very fun. | ||
| He's like a friendly, friendly guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But, you know, he would do the three, two, one, go! | |
| Like, he did the countdown. | ||
| But, like, me and him standing next to each other is so hilarious. | ||
| Because it's so stupid. | ||
| Yeah, it's like twins, right? | ||
| It's worse than that. | ||
| Arnold is not as big in comparison to Danny Capito. | ||
| Yeah, Arnold is small compared to me. | ||
| That Manute Bowl and Muggsy Bogues picture? | ||
| Like that? | ||
| Yeah, well, it's like... | ||
| Yeah, that's close. | ||
| I'm taller than Arnold Schwarzenegger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was just a big, wide guy for the day. | ||
| You gotta think about that guy. | ||
| He's like 70 years old. | ||
| That means he was born at a time where we were talking about earlier, where people didn't have any food. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He fucked his housekeeper. | ||
| That was before the podcast, right? | ||
| That was. | ||
| He did fuck his housekeeper, allegedly. | ||
| He had a baby. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| It might have been Jesus' intervention. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| That little baby look like a Mexican Arnold Schwarzenegger. | ||
| He does. | ||
| And he is. | ||
| He is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's a handsome fella. | ||
| Can't deny that. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| I mean, you've read all those books about Schwarzenegger. | ||
| He's inspirational. | ||
| I mean, just the guy, the confidence he would exude. | ||
| Did he get divorced after that? | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Dude, I'm a giant fan. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| I met him once. | ||
| He got divorced after that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a wrap. | ||
| The guy's a savage. | ||
| He's an Austrian savage. | ||
| He's a big old giant man-tittied pecked savage. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| That's preposterous. | ||
| Look at the size of him. | ||
| Oh, he was still in the league at this point. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| Because you guys were out in Orlando, so that's why he showed up. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what team he was for. | ||
| Or Universal, LA. I'm sorry. | ||
| Was he playing for Orlando? | ||
| He was already on the Lakers. | ||
| Net zero. | ||
| Net zero. | ||
| Back in the Disney, son. | ||
| Back when I had hair. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Back in the old days. | ||
| But it's just like the physical size difference. | ||
| Like, anybody thinks life is fair, look at a picture of me standing next to Shaq. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Life ain't fair. | ||
| That's not fair. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| That's not fair. | ||
| I did a whole joke about the White House because there was a lady who was guarding the White House when a dude broke into it. | ||
| It was my 2016 triggered Netflix special. | ||
| They let this lady guard the White House. | ||
| She didn't even have a gun. | ||
| She was at the front door. | ||
| It was unlocked. | ||
| She was standing there. | ||
| Just one lady. | ||
| And this dude ran through. | ||
| And I'm like, that is... | ||
| That is the dumbest fucking idea I've ever heard of. | ||
| You're gonna have the literal place where the president sleeps guarded by a lady and she doesn't have a gun. | ||
| And she sleeps. | ||
| And the door's not locked and the guy just runs through. | ||
| And did he get caught? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, he got caught, but he got caught by some dude who was an off-duty cop who just happened to be on the job. | ||
| And this guy was running through the hallway. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| I talked about in 2016. So it had to be like, I would guess like 14 or 15. The dude that ran in, was he white or black? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He had to be white. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Is this woman still working there? | ||
| Was she there on January 6th? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| I don't think so. | ||
| Different job. | ||
| She had to beat us. | ||
| She keeps failing upward. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, should have did it again. | ||
| They all in here now. | ||
| All right, fuck. | ||
| They have shit. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| But my joke was the idea that men and women are different. | ||
| Of course we are. | ||
| And there's no equality. | ||
| That's why there's the Olympics. | ||
| And I was like, if I wanted to make a run at the White House, if I'm guarding the White House, if I'm standing at the front door of the White House and Shaq decides to go to the White House, I go, guess what? | ||
| I go, we're fucked. | ||
| That dude's dick is where my face is. | ||
| The White House is experiencing a Shaq attack. | ||
| I'm not saving the world. | ||
| Shaq attack. | ||
| But it was like standing next to him like, there's no fairness. | ||
| There ain't no fairness. | ||
| There's no fairness. | ||
| One, two, three, shoot. | ||
| Yeah, we gotta be nice to each other, but there ain't no fairness. | ||
| It's like, we get weird rolls of the dice, you know? | ||
| You see some person that's born with birth defects, or some person that's born confused, or those people that I was talking about that were inbred on that white underbelly show. | ||
| That's their fucking fault. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Well, being born is not their fault, but it's their parents. | ||
| It's their parents' fault for fucking each other. | ||
| But their parents, the level of inbred these people were at, I bet their parents weren't even at fault. | ||
| I bet it was their parents' parents. | ||
| This is like multi-generational. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Systemic. | |
| Oh my god, you gotta see what it looks like. | ||
| Pull it up, Jamie. | ||
| Throw the whole family away. | ||
| Inbred family in the Appalachias, and it's soft white underbelly on YouTube. | ||
| And they're down for this inbreed, and they're just like, this is cool, like, what you mean? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I literally have no idea. | ||
| I just watched them talk, and they talked about their childhood, and it's super disturbing, man. | ||
| Yeah, it sounds like it. | ||
| And it just, again, it makes you realize that, like, you don't... | ||
| I mean, look at everybody in the fucking house, man. | ||
| I mean, at some point, you should be like, man, we retarded. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| We retarded as hell. | ||
| We need to start fucking each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| Come on, man. | ||
| There's no guidance there. | ||
| Jamie, give me some volume. | ||
| See that guy with the red shirt? | ||
| He learned how to communicate around dogs, so he only barks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I remember Ray. | |
| I photographed you, Ray. | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| Years ago. | ||
| You hear that? | ||
| Dude, back that up. | ||
| This guy was raised by dogs, so he communicates like a dog. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| Look, man. | ||
| Ain't no crack involved in none of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are your names? | |
| Watch this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| Who's this? | ||
| His name's Ray. | ||
| Ray? | ||
| I remember Ray. | ||
| I photographed you, Ray. | ||
| Do you remember? | ||
| Years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And your name is? | |
| Lorraine. | ||
| Lorraine? | ||
| These people, like, make noises like a dog. | ||
| Like, this guy is communicating. | ||
| That dog's even looking at him like, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Okay, so who fucking who? | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Freddie, that just got this show canceled. | ||
| We were doing so well. | ||
| I thought we made progress. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Everybody fucking, see? | ||
| Well, it's not their fault. | ||
| It's people long, long, long before them. | ||
| Throw the whole family away. | ||
| Somebody's gotta break the chain. | ||
| Well, this is like a possibility. | ||
| Like, imagine that there's video cameras, so someone's figured out how to film things, and then upload it to the internet, and you can watch it on your phone. | ||
| And at the same time, someone's child has been raised by dogs where he can't talk, and he's been inbred for so many generations that he can't communicate other than by barks. | ||
| So back that up and play that again. | ||
| And think about what's going on here. | ||
| Play this right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's your favorite memory, Ray? | |
| Do you remember anything about your life? | ||
| Hey, hey, hey, hey. | ||
| Damn, Scooby-Doo. | ||
| This guy can't talk. | ||
| Scooby-Doo can talk. | ||
| What, bro, Shaggy? | ||
| You asked your other brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| Dog. | ||
| This is what's left of this guy. | ||
| He's just like chewing on bread, confused and barking like a dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you lost your brother? | |
| I don't know, Jamie, but I don't think he's going to pull out of this. | ||
| Well, I didn't mean that. | ||
| Jamie's like, maybe he's got time. | ||
| Maybe we're just being judgmental. | ||
| I meant more like he was only 27 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was going to say, he was like 18. I don't know. | |
| But you have to look at this, this is the way I looked at it at least, and go, hey, that could be any of us. | ||
| We could have an unlucky roll of the dice, and you're born in that house. | ||
| Nah, my family wasn't fucking. | ||
| That could have been me. | ||
| But it could have been you if it wasn't, you know, your roll of the dice. | ||
| That's a different kind of roll of the dice, Joe. | ||
| I know, I know, but you're very fortunate that your situation... | ||
| I'm not saying anything about... | ||
| There's no way it could have happened with your family and you growing up, but imagine if you were born an inbred person in Appalachia. | ||
| We all could have been. | ||
| When we emerged into this existence, We didn't have any control whatsoever on where we were going to be born. | ||
| Imagine being this guy who can only bark like a dog. | ||
| That's sad as fuck. | ||
| It's sad as fuck. | ||
| It's crazy too. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It's crazy that this is possible. | ||
| This also could be a guy. | ||
| Imagine if this guy was raised right and he wasn't inbred, where he was a guy who would talk to you about his kids or what his hobby is, and maybe he likes to make carpentry and shit. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| He could be like a regular guy who's fun to talk to. | ||
| It's interesting, though, because he knows he has to hold his pants up. | ||
| Yeah, but he probably can't afford a belt, man. | ||
| No, I hear that, but I'm saying, but he still has the wherewithal that he's still putting pants on. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, like, he's gonna hold these up and have pants on. | ||
| He don't think he a doll. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that Freddie's grade? | |
| Right, right. | ||
| Just talk like one. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| I mean, that is, yeah. | ||
| Imagine if that's your kid. | ||
| How do you eat with no teeth? | ||
| You don't eat well. | ||
| And they're not brushing their teeth, probably. | ||
| Nobody's taught them, probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's why he's eating bread all day. | |
| Because he can't eat something soft. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| No dentist as a child. | ||
| Because he can't afford it or something like that. | ||
| And we're looking at this. | ||
| We don't really... | ||
| I don't have any idea where they live. | ||
| How removed they are from everybody. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, there's tribes like that. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| In middles of continents that, you know... | ||
| But this is way worse because it's like a very small group of people that live in this one place and they're like known to be inbred. | ||
| So like it's within our lifetimes. | ||
| Well somebody and they family gotta stop the- Oh my god, it's called Odd? | ||
| It's called Odd? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god, it's an unincorporated community in Raleigh County, West Virginia. | ||
| Oh my god, a population 779, oh my god. | ||
| That is the hills have eyes, nigga, I'm straight. | ||
| It's going to cost me $399 to get there. | ||
| Imagine if you run out of gas there. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| No cell phone service. | ||
| You know, one of them... | ||
| They have a yoga class. | ||
| Oh, gentle yoga. | ||
| Gentle yoga. | ||
| Yoga with a bunch of motherfucking zombies. | ||
| That sounds relaxing. | ||
| Trying to calm everybody down. | ||
| One of the best horror movies I ever saw was Bobcat Goldthwait. | ||
| Bobcat made a Bigfoot movie. | ||
| What is it called again? | ||
| Willow Creek. | ||
| It's about these guys who go up there to film this area where they first film Bigfoot and they get attacked by Bigfoot. | ||
| It talks about like all these people that are missing in the woods every year that go hiking and vanish. | ||
| And this idea is like the Bigfoot's killing people. | ||
| But he did it like Blair Witch Project style where it looks like some people... | ||
| POV? Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So there's these people that are hanging out, but it's fucking good, man. | ||
| Alright, Willow Creek, I'm gonna check it out. | ||
| It's good, dude. | ||
| It's the absolute best Bigfoot movie ever made, hands down, 100%. | ||
| Bobcat nailed it, and Bobcat is like a true believer. | ||
| He and I have gone back and forth about Bigfoot on the podcast. | ||
| Bigfoot, all I hear about is white people talking about Bigfoot just running around scaring people. | ||
| Do we ever kill anybody? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Not only did they never kill anybody in recorded history, but... | ||
| Hold on, so this Bigfoot shit is a real thing? | ||
| It was 100% a real animal. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| It was called Gigantopithecus, and they found, during the 1920s, at an apothecary shop in China, an anthropologist found a primate tooth that was far too big. | ||
| And he looked at it, and he's like, what is this? | ||
| This is bigger than a gorilla's. | ||
| Like, where'd you get this? | ||
| And they... | ||
| Guided him to the area where it was excavated, and they found a bunch of different bones and jaw bones that represented a bipedal hominid that was approximately eight to ten feet tall. | ||
| This was a real animal that lived in Asia, and we know that humans walked across the Bering Strait. | ||
| That's what it looked like. | ||
| So humans walked across the Bering Strait, they believe, the Bering landmass, into North America, and they think that short-faced bears and a bunch of other animals made it through that area too, but they think there's a remote possibility that this giant primate from Asia, at one point in time, thousands of years ago, interacted with people, and that people have this Go back to that image again that you just had, Jamie. | ||
| So not a bear, it's a primate. | ||
| It's a primate. | ||
| It's a giant primate that's in like that. | ||
| Give me that, Large. | ||
| So it's a giant primate in the orangutan family. | ||
| They believe. | ||
| So what they have is like a few jawbone pieces and a bunch of different things that... | ||
| So they verify that it's a real animal. | ||
| So that's why they have this chart here. | ||
| Gigantopithecus blacki is the official Latin name for it. | ||
| And this fucking thing is... | ||
| How big is it? | ||
| 3.5 meters. | ||
| That motherfucker's bigger than Chewbacca. | ||
| So that's at least 7 feet tall. | ||
| So it's somewhere around 7 feet... | ||
| No, 3.5 meters is 9 feet, 10 feet tall. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| And so this giant thing was a real animal that existed that lived with people. | ||
| So these bones that they found, I think they were like a hundred thousand years old. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
| Gigantopithecus bones aged. | ||
| So they found them and they realized that these animals were living alongside with people. | ||
| Did he fuck people? | ||
| It could have been. | ||
| He did whatever the fuck he wanted. | ||
| Ten foot tall. | ||
| I mean, if he came upon your village, what are you going to do? | ||
| Shoot the three and protect the rim. | ||
| Yeah, what are you going to do? | ||
| Are you going to stop them? | ||
| You're going to stop them from fucking you? | ||
| They had a male Bigfoot. | ||
| They had to have a female Bigfoot. | ||
| They definitely did. | ||
| So the idea is that this is what was the thing that Native Americans talk about in their folklore, because I think there's a hundred different Native American names for Sasquatch. | ||
| They have a bunch of different names for him, which leads a lot of these people who study these cultures You go, man, that is very unusual. | ||
| It's very unusual that they talk about a thing that's not real over and over and over and over and over again. | ||
| And if you know that this used to be a real thing, which Gigantopithecus definitely was, and then you know that these Native Americans, everything else, whether it's the buffalo, whether it's the pronghorn, the deer, all those things, the bear, they had them all mapped out. | ||
| They talked about all of it. | ||
| Like, they were very accurate about where they lived and how they traveled and how to hunt them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then they had this Sasquatch thing. | ||
| Well, what the fuck is that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's just extinct, I'm saying. | ||
| But how do you know that that wasn't real? | ||
| How do you know that, like, 30,000 years ago, 40,000 years ago, these people had countered these things? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And imagine you're a fucking dude with a bow and arrow, and you're trying to feed your babies, and you're sneaking through the forest, and you see a 10-foot orangutan. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just a giant thing looking at you, and you're like, yeah! | ||
| And they just didn't make it. | ||
| They didn't make it. | ||
| Too tall. | ||
| They killed them off, huh? | ||
| Well, they killed them off, or maybe they didn't have enough food, or maybe there's predators, who knows what the fuck it is, but if something dies, for whatever reason, if something, like, dies off, like a woolly mammoth, right? | ||
| They're not here anymore. | ||
| You gotta think about their lifespan, too, right? | ||
| Because even tall humans, right? | ||
| Like, their lifespan is shorter, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And also, like, the amount of food they must need. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you're ten feet tall, the amount of fucking food you must need. | ||
| Like a two-year lifespan or something. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And if you don't figure out weapons before the people do, and they have catapults and shit... | ||
| Done. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| With all that David and Goliath shit, who knows? | ||
| But only like a few bones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who knows? | |
| Not a lot of bones, huh? | ||
| Who knows if David and Goliath... | ||
| Oh, the David and Goliath... | ||
| Oh, bro. | ||
| What if that was about a Bigfoot? | ||
| We talked about this a couple weeks ago about David and Goliath. | ||
| Which is it? | ||
| About how that's genocide, what David did. | ||
| He fought this big dude, one, and they said, all right, now kill all of them. | ||
| Oh, is that what he did? | ||
| Wait a minute, after he killed, Goliath killed everybody? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Killed all the big niggas. | ||
| No, it was that whole people, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that is open genocide, the David Goliath story. | ||
| Well, that's unfortunate and not productive to the narrative. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I don't want to talk about King David that way. | ||
| I don't want to get attacked by the media. | ||
| Why don't you just leave that part of the story out? | ||
| I'm going to leave it out. | ||
| And David killed Goliath, which is good, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| But we can't have a conversation because, you know, well, yeah. | ||
| What was Goliath a part of? | ||
| Goliath was like a giant and he killed him with a rock and a sling. | ||
| He was part of a people. | ||
| I forget what they're called, those people. | ||
| I don't even think they had slingshots. | ||
| They had a sling. | ||
| The sling was like you had two strings. | ||
| You had two strings of a pouch and you would swing it, swing it, swing it and you let it go. | ||
| Yeah, it's a big rock at this guy's face. | ||
| This guy crushed his skull. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| These are like the most second-hand stories ever, right? | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| How much would you give to find out what Adam and Eve was really all about? | ||
| Like, what happened? | ||
| What is that story? | ||
| Some people fucked in the jungle. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| But what about the snake and the apple? | ||
| Right. | ||
| All that shit is in the jungle. | ||
| It's apples. | ||
| Right, but why shouldn't she eat the fruit? | ||
| Is he just controlling? | ||
| Was Adam just a super controlling boyfriend? | ||
| Throw her all under the bus. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Throw her all under the bus. | ||
| I told that bitch not to eat that shit. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Everybody knows about it to this day. | ||
| Just discredit a woman. | ||
| It's the first story of the Bible. | ||
| She's the whole reason why we're fucked. | ||
| Yeah, this lady, I mean, like, by the way, after that, that's all patriarchy. | ||
| Sorry, ladies, like, yeah, you're the reason. | ||
| Right, it wasn't the dude's problem that everything went sideways. | ||
| It was Eve's problem. | ||
| She fucked around and listened to the snake and ate the apple, and now we're doomed forever. | ||
| Adam didn't do anything. | ||
| He was perfect. | ||
| Adam was jacking off in front of the computer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was busy trying to get his OnlyFans up. | |
| Adam tried to get his OnlyFans up. | ||
| You know what the real problem is gonna be, gentlemen? | ||
| When you can put a headset on and you can have sex with whoever you want. | ||
| Right, like Demolition Man. | ||
| You could put a headset on. | ||
| You could have sex with the Hulk. | ||
| Whatever you want! | ||
| Whatever you want, Wonder Woman! | ||
| What do you want? | ||
| Chewbacca? | ||
| Who do you want to fuck? | ||
| You want to fuck Orca? | ||
| Right, or like a cartoon, right? | ||
| Yeah, you can do whatever you want. | ||
| There's gonna be a time where you can have an experience that's real similar to a real-life experience like this, where you can touch metal and touch tables and wood, and it's gonna be, you can just put a headphone on, achieve it. | ||
| Isn't that what the metaverse is supposed to be? | ||
| Eventually? | ||
| If it's not like the Mark Zuckerberg version of it, which is kind of interesting, it's something else. | ||
| It'll be like that Matrix version. | ||
| Someone's going to figure out something where they're going to have a way of making you experience something that's not real but feels as real as anything you've ever experienced. | ||
| Well, that one lady got raped in the metaverse. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| That wasn't real? | ||
| That wasn't right. | ||
| We read it. | ||
| Does that happen, Jamie? | ||
| Does that happen? | ||
| A hundred percent happened, but yeah. | ||
| That's what she said. | ||
| Then they put on things that like there's like a barrier. | ||
| Now you can't get close to it. | ||
| A barrier? | ||
| Bitch, how do you feel it? | ||
| What do you feel? | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| Sometimes people need to learn their lessons. | ||
| Ain't no laws in the metaverse. | ||
| Society progresses. | ||
| Ain't no laws in the metaverse. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is it okay? | ||
| Like, imagine if there's no pain in the metaverse, right? | ||
| And you only experience it in your mind. | ||
| You put headsets on. | ||
| Should you be allowed to have sword fights? | ||
| Listen, I mean, if I see a nigga I don't like in the metaverse, I'm killing you with that motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sexual harassment in the... | |
| Women alleges rape in virtual world. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| How is that even possible? | ||
| So yeah, the metaverse is basically like New Delhi. | ||
| She says within 60 seconds of joining, I was verbally and sexually harassed three to four male avatars with male voices, essentially, but virtually gang raped my avatar. | ||
| She details watching her avatar get sexually assaulted by a handful of male avatars who took photos and sent her comments like, don't pretend you didn't love it. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| We entered into a new discussion. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, sexual assault. | ||
| So is it illegal to suck sexual assault a person in the metaverse? | ||
| Is it laws in the metaverse yet? | ||
| They're gonna make them. | ||
| They're gonna make them after something like that. | ||
| But it's somebody's voice actually doing it, right? | ||
| So it's this dude, he's getting this carnal pleasure from being like, this isn't me, this is my avatar, but this is what he wants to do as his avatar, right? | ||
| Like you're doing Grand Theft Auto. | ||
| They should be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do. | ||
| I think there's also, like, people want to do what they're not supposed to do. | ||
| Let them do it there. | ||
| If it's not really happening, yeah, what's not really happening, no one's really getting touched, they feel like it's okay. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get out of the game, bitch. | ||
| Push pause. | ||
| You don't want to hear that going in there. | ||
| If you're a dude and you get on the metaverse and some other giant dude throws you to the ground and starts fucking your mouth, Exactly. | ||
| You're not going to enjoy that. | ||
| Exactly, bro. | ||
| You're going to be like, hey! | ||
| I got raped in the metaverse. | ||
| You got some big, giant dude who just Shaq-sized palms the back of your head and starts fucking your mouth. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Bigfoot's raping me! | ||
| I'm breaking the Oculus. | ||
| You got to realize the first versions of the metaverse are going to be like Pong. | ||
| Did you ever play Pong? | ||
| I'm older than you guys, but when I was a kid, when I was a little kid, that's when Pong came in. | ||
| Boop, boop, That was the first game. | ||
| It was the wildest shit. | ||
| You can control something that's on your TV. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it got way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way better. | |
| And that's the same thing that's going to happen with this shit. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Eventually, it's going to get to a place where some giant dude's going to hold you down and fuck your mouth And you're going to be like, what the hell? | ||
| I don't want to be in this metaverse no more, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| What the hell? | ||
| And then we're going to make rules. | ||
| I need an off switch. | ||
| I'm going to need some metaverse counseling after this. | ||
| Imagine if you had a metaverse where you were on a beach and you were waiting on the beach watching a group of Vikings pull their boats up to the shore and you're like... | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Flaming arrows start flying through the air as they reach the shore, and you realize they're gonna rape and kill everybody. | ||
| And that was a reality of history. | ||
| In the metaverse. | ||
| And you're trapped in the metaverse, trying to survive. | ||
| And there's a bunch of dudes saying, like, you know you love it. | ||
| I mean, imagine a bunch of dudes who make their avatars KKK and be like, oh, come here. | ||
| You know, start black dragging you or start lynching you in the metaverse. | ||
| It's the metaverse though. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| See? | ||
| You don't give a fuck. | ||
| But if the metaverse becomes more compelling than the regular world and you spend most of your time there, what is real life? | ||
| Here's the question. | ||
| If you have 24 hours in real life but you spend 15 of it in the metaverse, isn't that more real life than real life? | ||
| If all you do, you'll get a couple of things done and you go to sleep for the rest of the time. | ||
| But if life becomes so much more interesting in this digital world, people are going to try it. | ||
| See, we might be in the motherfucking metaverse right now. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| We might be. | ||
| I think you're right, though. | ||
| I think, yeah. | ||
| You know, my niece, his kids, your kids, kind of a thing. | ||
| They're going to grow up in the 2040s, 2050s if we're still around. | ||
| Or there's some kind of a war that kills the power grid. | ||
| Either one of those things is real. | ||
| Like, if you learn anything from this whole Ukraine situation, learn that it can happen, right? | ||
| Learn that a war is a real possibility. | ||
| That's the terrifying part. | ||
| All this jargon. | ||
| People like to pretend they know what the fuck is going on and what's important. | ||
| Want some more of that, Fredo? | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| All these people that pretend they know what the fuck is going on, they don't. | ||
| Nobody does. | ||
| This is kind of chaotic in terms of, like, what's gonna happen. | ||
| I mean, you know, where this is gonna go. | ||
| This is fucking chaotic, man. | ||
| We need to realize that this can happen. | ||
| And now we know. | ||
| Now we know. | ||
| All this is not just talk. | ||
| No. | ||
| This isn't just talk. | ||
| And there's a lot of just crazy talk. | ||
| People talk about foreign policy and what's important. | ||
| And then once you watch missiles hit apartment buildings, you're like, holy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's been happening for years, though, right? | ||
| I mean, we send missiles and drones over there, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What's that graph? | ||
| Did we find that graph, Jamie, of all the most recent... | ||
| Yeah, with that graph, looking into that... | ||
| It's bullshit? | ||
| It might be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God damn it! | |
| I wanna believe! | ||
| He wants to not be the misinformation king! | ||
| Where it's coming from might be propagandas. | ||
| I'm the misinformation king, but I'm uncredible. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Don't listen to me. | ||
| That's what you should listen. | ||
| If you wanna listen to me, don't listen to me. | ||
| I'm not your guy to be listening to. | ||
| If you want to listen to the people I talk to, please do. | ||
| But from my personal perspective, I'm not a reliable source of information. | ||
| I don't trust me. | ||
| Why the fuck should you? | ||
| I don't trust me for information. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I hang out with you. | ||
| I fucking babble. | ||
| I babble for thousands of hours. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah, people should just hang out with you and be like, oh yeah, I just like his podcast. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He's cool. | ||
| I genuinely want everybody to do better. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| 100% genuinely. | ||
| All people I meet. | ||
| I want us to get along. | ||
| I like parties. | ||
| I like to see friends and hug them. | ||
| I saw you two guys today. | ||
| I hugged you. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Report the good shit this cat does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like fun. | |
| There's some things you've done for me. | ||
| I mean, we can't talk about it on air, and I won't give CNN the satisfaction, but like, yo, talk about the good shit he does. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, he's not a racist. | ||
| I'm here. | ||
| The cat has fucking blessed me financially so many times by just having me on the show or bigging up the rose battle. | ||
| I mean, like, he does countless things. | ||
| The shit you did in Australia nobody talks about. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| One of the things I did when I got canceled is I started doing mushrooms. | ||
| I did mushrooms every day for like three or four days. | ||
| And one thing the mushrooms told me one time, it said, you're not a bad person, but you left a bad impression. | ||
| And I was like, whoa. | ||
| That's a wild statement. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you get a statement, like, there's times when I do mushrooms where I get these, like, little... | ||
| I get these little moments where, like, am I just imagining I'm talking to something? | ||
| Or is something really talking to me? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| Is this, like, my own imagination trying to, like, sort out my existence? | ||
| We call that that Jiminy Cricket, right? | ||
| Niggity Cricket. | ||
| That's a... | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Yeah, but you also, I mean, listen, the god slur is tough. | ||
| Yeah, it's rough. | ||
| The god of all slurs is the tough one. | ||
| It's the rough one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because other ones, I mean, like, you know, there's, like, with the C word, you know, there's so many factions of that word, right, in the English language, you know? | ||
| And even if you say, yeah, cocaine. | ||
| Cunt. | ||
| Cunt. | ||
| Yeah, there's a bunch of great bits about that word, too. | ||
| You know, the thing is, like, I can't wait, and I've said this on stage, too, that I can't wait until we can read minds. | ||
| Because then, like, what we're trying to do is, like, interpret a very specific and terrible meaning for anything that a person says. | ||
| But whether it's, you know, whatever the slur is, whether it's cunt or the n-word or the f-word or whatever. | ||
| But what words are supposed to be is a person conveying their intent. | ||
| Word. | ||
| So if there comes a time where we can read each other's minds, we can understand how you really feel. | ||
| We're basically going on like weird roadside maps. | ||
| We're not going on 100% understanding of how a person is trying to communicate and why and where they're coming from. | ||
| So we base it on words, which is perfect. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's eloquent. | ||
| It's the best way we have to communicate. | ||
| I'm not knocking it. | ||
| But what I'm saying is there's going to come a time in our lifetime where we don't have to do that anymore. | ||
| We're going to be able to communicate with each other just by virtue of your intent and how you feel. | ||
| Instead of being wrapped up in different languages and sounds people make, like Germans make a very different sound than Koreans, who make a very different sound than Brazilians. | ||
| Everybody's got their own way, the sound, the flavor. | ||
| But all they're trying to do is let you know how they think. | ||
| That's all I'm trying to do right now, too. | ||
| And one of the benefits that I have of all this crazy shit going on is that I have a podcast. | ||
| And that people have heard me talk so many fucking times. | ||
| They kind of understand who I am. | ||
| Word. | ||
| Yeah, we know. | ||
| You our nigga. | ||
| When Stylebender said that at a press conference, I legitimately teared up. | ||
| I legitimately teared up, because I love that dude. | ||
| When he said that, I was like, God damn it. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| You can feel, man, you know what, as a black man in America, I can feel the energy of racism with anybody I go around. | ||
| I kind of know. | ||
| If you were racist, I could just spend five minutes with you and be like, oh yeah, this motherfucker don't like me either because I'm black or I could be, you know, have more money than him. | ||
| It could be something like that. | ||
| But I could feel the energy from, like, people who, you know, just how you, you know, how you talk, the things you say, you know what I mean? | ||
| I know. | ||
| And, you know, we all got our own prejudices, you know what I'm saying, and shit that we don't understand about each other's culture, man. | ||
| So, I mean, that just comes with just being different, man. | ||
| Racist, I can smell that. | ||
| I can feel that. | ||
| I know when a motherfucker is like, yeah, I don't fuck with you. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's obvious. | ||
| It stands out. | ||
| Let's talk about the real heroes. | ||
| Let's talk about interracial porn. | ||
| Male talent, right? | ||
| You're Mr. Marcus, there's Lexington Steel. | ||
| We don't say it enough during Black History Month how fucking legendary these guys are. | ||
| Could you imagine in the Jim Crow era, there's the biggest fucking white women on camera? | ||
| Have you ever seen Santino's bit about it? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| They always keep their sneakers on. | ||
| That means they take the pants off. | ||
| And put the shoes back on. | ||
| That is a fucking hilarious bit. | ||
| That is a hilarious bit. | ||
| Oh my god, that's a good bit. | ||
| Santino's so fucking funny. | ||
| I just love those cats. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's an interesting time for people to figure out what the fuck is important to be upset about and whatnot. | ||
| At this day and age, how can you... | ||
| Hate black people? | ||
| How can you hate sex people? | ||
| How can you hate gay people? | ||
| Right! | ||
| How can you hate anybody? | ||
| How can you hate anybody specifically for any reason? | ||
| Yeah, I don't hate nobody, man. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| But the problem is, Moses, you can attest to this, one of our problems as comedians is we... | ||
| The fun is in talking shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| And the fun is in trying to push a boundary or say something you think might be funny and you got like a split second to press the green light. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you're like, let's run with this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Let's see how this goes. | ||
| That's the game. | ||
| And when you're on stage, that's the number one thing. | ||
| Like the mistakes that you make on stage, you go down a road and you're like, oh my God. | ||
| This is hate speech. | ||
| I can't believe I'm even here! | ||
| It's like you don't mean, you're just trying to remove yourself from the equation long enough to find a path that's funny. | ||
| But along the way, you're gonna say some ridiculous shit that you probably would rather have edited, you'd rather have started from scratch. | ||
| It's like Kramer. | ||
| That was some racist shit right there. | ||
| He felt that. | ||
| You could feel it. | ||
| He was trying to make them feel bad. | ||
| And a woman called, and I was working the phones. | ||
| I may have said the story actually on this podcast, but I did a bit, and then it was race-related, obviously. | ||
| Black woman calls the next day, I'm working the phone, and she's just like, I just have to let you know, there's a comedian you guys have named Brian Moses, and he was doing a joke. | ||
| And it was about black people. | ||
| And the black people weren't really laughing. | ||
| But the whites were kind of laughing a little bit. | ||
| And I just want to let you know, he can start a race riot in your club. | ||
| I was like, I will. | ||
| You answered the fucking phone. | ||
| I answered the phone, bro. | ||
| And she said, he's going to start a race riot. | ||
| He can start a race riot. | ||
| I was like, I'm black. | ||
| And I did the joke. | ||
| Like, what are we talking about here? | ||
| Just because it had to do with, you know, it was about a... | ||
| But you know what's... | ||
| Here's what's fascinating about this whole conversation. | ||
| Is that the... | ||
| Socially, it balances out where people understand what you can and can't talk about. | ||
| And that's the recognition of the history of racism in this country, is that a person like me can't say the N-word. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| You can't say it. | ||
| You can't say it anymore. | ||
| If you say it, people are going to get furious at you, right? | ||
| It's an emotional thing. | ||
| Well, why is that? | ||
| It's only possible if there's a disproportionate history. | ||
| If there was a word, it doesn't make any sense if there's not a disproportion in history. | ||
| This is a thing that I think we all have to recognize, all of us, is there's an imbalance that hasn't been rectified. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| People get scared of that word reparations. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Here's what everybody has to do. | ||
| You have to find all the spots that got fucked By the Civil War and by slavery. | ||
| You gotta fix that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You gotta fix that shit. | ||
| Well, the problem is they already gave reparations. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| I mean, like, they gave all the slave owners the money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's awesome. | ||
| Because they lost the property. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Nobody says that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a real thing. | ||
| I mean, like... | ||
| They definitely did that. | ||
| Yeah, they gave the slave owners because they lost all their property. | ||
| Yes, they reimbursed them. | ||
| I don't know if it was like... | ||
| They called reparations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you gave black people, like... | ||
| A tax break. | ||
| Like, we ain't got to pay taxes. | ||
| That's what I'm saying, for 20 years. | ||
| We shouldn't have to pay taxes at all. | ||
| We shouldn't have to pay taxes. | ||
| We should get free property. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Free tuition. | ||
| Free tuition. | ||
| They gave Native Americans casinos. | ||
| I mean, you got to economically help us catch up. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And that's the problem with this economics. | ||
| We don't control anything. | ||
| We don't control property. | ||
| We don't control the food coming in our community. | ||
| We don't control our community. | ||
| Well, whenever you have a spot that's stuck, whenever you have a spot that's like socially compromised, like financially compromised, meaning socially compromised, meaning there's like gang violence and drug abuse and there's a lot of stuff around them. | ||
| And it's been like that for decades. | ||
| If they don't step in, then that's bad management. | ||
| But you could dwindle that down if niggas had farms and niggas had factories and things where we generated our own things. | ||
| We gotta go We gotta go to a white man for every fucking thing. | ||
| We have more black millionaires than we've ever had in the history of black people. | ||
| We have the most educated people now in the history of black people. | ||
| So I'm saying, why aren't we doing that now? | ||
| Because they were doing that back with the Black Panthers and everybody like that. | ||
| So we could be doing that now. | ||
| We could be buying property in our neighborhoods. | ||
| We could be turning this shit around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not something that's instantaneously solved. | ||
| And that's facts, yeah. | ||
| But it is something that people are more and more aware of. | ||
| All the communication lets people think about it more and more, and then we come to a better place than we were a week ago, a year ago, whatever. | ||
| And that's where we are with basically every cultural issue. | ||
| That's why you can watch that video of Al Jolson from 100 years ago, and you can't even believe it's real. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Because we're making progress. | ||
| We're making progress as human beings, and the only thing that stops that progress is anything that stops communication. | ||
| So when you stop communication, you stop discussion. | ||
| You stop people from trying to figure out what's good and what's bad and what makes people feel bad and why it does that. | ||
| Like, why is this word more potent than that word? | ||
| Discussion. | ||
| It's fucking gigantically important. | ||
| That's why it's terrifying that there's people in this day and age that want to stop discussion. | ||
| They shouldn't stop discussion. | ||
| You should have your own response to whatever that discussion is. | ||
| Talk about it. | ||
| Disagree. | ||
| Robustly. | ||
| Disagree. | ||
| But don't stop discussion. | ||
| Don't stop Freddie Gibbs from fucking up the Bill Maher podcast because you know he did. | ||
| You know he showed up stoned as fuck, guns blazing, talking about shooting crackheads. | ||
| Come on, of course. | ||
| Me and Bill was definitely talking about fucking some hoes. | ||
| Shout out to my boy Bill, man. | ||
| Bro, Freddie, when you did this podcast and you were talking about, oh, that's when I shot this crackhead. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I was like, I think he can get away with it. | ||
| Yeah, that motherfucker dead anyway. | ||
| You're dead, bitch. | ||
| Well, and then there's that. | ||
| And then there's that. | ||
| I ain't had nothing to do with that, though. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He just showed up somewhere. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I'm a rapper slash actor entertainer. | ||
| I'm a podcaster. | ||
| I'm a podcaster. | ||
| When does that happen? | ||
| That's coming soon, man. | ||
| I gotta retire from rap first, though, man. | ||
| Listen, you don't have to retire from rap to do podcasts. | ||
| It's not like it's a union endeavor. | ||
| I just want a podcast. | ||
| I don't want to rap while I'm doing it. | ||
| You can listen, bro. | ||
| You don't have to make a decision. | ||
| I want to just do that. | ||
| I don't even want to rap while I'm doing that. | ||
| I got maybe an album or two left and I'm out of this shit. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I left my mark in the rap game. | ||
| I did what needed to be done. | ||
| If it's a Rap Hall of Fame, I'm going to go to that bitch, so I ain't worried about shit. | ||
| Well, as a person who does podcasts with you, I've done a couple of them now. | ||
| You'd be great at it, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Easy. | |
| I'm going to do it. | ||
| That's my next move. | ||
| You're the most authentic dude I think I've ever met. | ||
| You're 100% authentic. | ||
| That's the next move. | ||
| You are yourself all the time. | ||
| At all times. | ||
| But this is what's complicated about people when they try to go into show business and get attention. | ||
| It's very difficult to be yourself all the time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because there's consequences. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| His manager calls him Brick James. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Brick J. Brick J. That's hilarious! | |
| Because he's a wild dude. | ||
| But this is my position, that people like you are important. | ||
| I think those fucking rule pushers, those boundary pushers, we're very important. | ||
| For what I like, I like wild shit. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| I like doing podcasts with people like you. | ||
| We take wild shit. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god. | ||
| And I just have to clutch my pearls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I go, oh my god, Freddie. | |
| How are they going to cut this compilation? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| We do the Freddie Gibbs podcast. | ||
| It's going to be crazy, man. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| But we gearing up for that. | ||
| It's going to be real dope, man. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| And also when Moses contacted me about doing a podcast with you, I'm like, oh my god, this is perfect. | ||
| Two dudes to do a podcast with after my shit comes down. | ||
| We'll have a stripper pole and holes. | ||
| Last day of the white guilt month. | ||
| I said, we gots to do it hard. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| So, let's get out of here and go check out my club. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| And then kill Tony tonight. | ||
| I want to go float in that chamber you got. | ||
| I want to go float. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Can we put holes in there? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Aw, damn. | ||
| I don't think that's wise. | ||
| Because ho you is bound to drizzle. | ||
| No, no one drowns. | ||
| You float. | ||
| It's only 11 inches of water. | ||
| But it is contrary to the idea of the experiment. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Brian Moses, Roast Battle. | ||
| There's two important shows in live stand-up comedy in the United States today. | ||
| One of them is Roast Battle, the other one's Kill Tony. | ||
| I firmly believe that one-two punch is critical for the development of up-and-coming talent. | ||
| They learn how to fuck with each other and they learn how to take a joke and learn how to be a little bit selfless with it and roast battle. | ||
| And then on Kill Tony, they learn how to do one minute under high pressure in front of the whole fucking world. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And both of them are super critical. | ||
| Thank you, bro. | ||
| You're the man. | ||
| And like I said, brother, when I came back in 2014, your show was one of the main reasons why I came back. | ||
| Because I went back there and I saw that and I remember going, wow, this is so different. | ||
| This is so like... | ||
| Creative and wild and it was like this energetic sort of new thing where I could feel it when I went into that belly room and I was like, oh my goodness, this is exciting. | ||
| I was like clapping. | ||
| But it was also, everybody was smiling, like the energy in the room was infectious. | ||
| The whole audience. | ||
| There's a lot of love in there. | ||
| People come in there. | ||
| I remember, was it Ian something, but he said it was like, I came in here thinking it was going to be hateful and ugh, because that's not my style, but there's so much love in here. | ||
| There's so much love, you can take a good shot to the dick. | ||
| You can take a good one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can take a good one if you're one of the people that gets roasted. | |
| You can take a good shot to the day. | ||
| Yeah, we just did a roast battle underground at this place called Madame Siam in L.A. It looks like a fucking underground fight club. | ||
| Well, my brother, when my club opens up here, you have 100% carte blanche. | ||
| Whenever you want to do roast battle, you want to do it once a week, once a month, it's in. | ||
| It's done. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| We got two rooms. | ||
| We're doing it. | ||
| Once a fucking month. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Austin. | ||
| Freddie Gibbs Podcast. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Coming soon, bitch. | ||
| Available where? | ||
| On the nigga network. | ||
| In the nigga-verse. | ||
| In him? |
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