June 5, 2021 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:47:11
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Train by day. | ||
| Joe Rogan Podcast by night. | ||
| All day. | ||
| David Frost was interviewing Nixon. | ||
| They made that movie about it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, yeah? | |
| It was like the big thing for David Frost. | ||
| He got Nixon to actually break about Watergate. | ||
| And the way that Nixon tried to throw him before the interview, they're just getting ready with all the cameras and stuff. | ||
| He goes, did you fornicate last night? | ||
| David Frost was like, why is the former president of the United States? | ||
| He was like, no. | ||
| So he tried to rattle him before the interview? | ||
| He tried to rattle him before the interview. | ||
| Nixon was so skillful. | ||
| Did you fornicate last night? | ||
| What? | ||
| Is that skillful, though? | ||
| It kind of fucked him up a little bit. | ||
| It seems like a Hail Mary. | ||
| Yeah, well, he was at the end of his game. | ||
| Did you ever hear the time when Nixon was riding? | ||
| They got a ride. | ||
| Hunter S. Thompson took a ride with Nixon, I believe to the airport, in his limo. | ||
| As long as I don't talk politics. | ||
| So they just talked about football the whole way. | ||
| Was he president at the time? | ||
| Yeah, he was president. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I know, that's how weird the world was back then. | ||
| A fucking wackadoo like Hunter Thompson could get... | ||
| In a limousine with the President of the United States. | ||
| Pitch a ride. | ||
| Well, I think Nixon respected his football knowledge. | ||
| Because Hunter was a football fanatic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so he said Nixon was the real deal. | ||
| He said Nixon knew about all these draft picks from colleges. | ||
| He was following everything. | ||
| He was really smart. | ||
| Was he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was really smart and crafty, but he had a lot of fatal flaws. | ||
| Did you fornicate last night? | ||
| He was the oddest dude. | ||
| Such a weird looking dude. | ||
| Who's looked like that since, you know? | ||
| Mike Dukakis had a little bit of that in him, like a handsomer version of Nixon. | ||
| Just like thick. | ||
|
unidentified
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Everything's thick. | |
| The skin's thick, the eyebrows are thick. | ||
| Yeah, it's like leathery and always had a lot of Vaseline or something in the hair. | ||
| I'm not a crook. | ||
| I'm not a crook. | ||
| And he's just awkward with his movement. | ||
| Yeah, so weird. | ||
| Joints don't work right. | ||
| A political cartoonist's dream. | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| The big nose, the big jutting forehead. | ||
| See, there's a problem with political cartoonists today is that they're all liberal, right? | ||
| And most cartoonists are liberal and you're going to leave Biden alone, which is very unfortunate. | ||
| It should be indicative of the dilemma that we find ourselves in in 2021. Right. | ||
| Who's ever the guy is the butt of the joke or is the focus. | ||
| But this is a very unique dilemma because we were willing to overlook some serious problems with this guy because we hated Trump so much. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Oh, I know. | ||
| My nephews are really, really left. | ||
| They went to, like, Hampshire College, and they're just like, you couldn't get further over there. | ||
| And love them all. | ||
| But they were just super loved. | ||
| And our family group text... | ||
| Every once in a while, they'll send a thing about Biden going too far with Israel or having a bad record at the border. | ||
| And no one wants to discuss it in the family at all because they're so exhausted from Trump all those years. | ||
| They're like, we know he's not perfect, but at least he's not that. | ||
| And I feel like that's where the nation is. | ||
| It's like, I know, I know, but... | ||
| Well, some of the nation's there. | ||
| He's not tormenting us. | ||
| Some of the nation's there, but the rest of the nation is eroding faith in the institution of the news. | ||
| Because they're like, how come you fucking guys aren't paying attention to this? | ||
| How is he allowed to say all this crazy shit? | ||
| He's been saying ridiculous shit. | ||
| Have you paid attention to any of the gaffes, the things he said? | ||
| No. | ||
| What was the one recently about black people and businesses? | ||
| Because black people can't get loans, and black people, it's like, whoa! | ||
| It was such a blanket statement. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| He says things sometimes like... | ||
|
unidentified
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Come on, man! | |
| What was the statement? | ||
| That poor kids, they're just as smart as white kids. | ||
| Like something along those lines. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's like, hey, grandpa, the fuck off the microphone. | |
| I know. | ||
| But at least he's not just tormenting us nonstop. | ||
| But you're right. | ||
| I mean, there should be... | ||
| Look, this is why there's a real problem is that there's nobody that just takes the center and just deals with news. | ||
| It's all team-based. | ||
| It's also woke talking points that they feed him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, you... | ||
| And then he butchers them. | ||
|
unidentified
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He butchers them. | |
| And you compare it to things that he said in the past. | ||
| This is not how you really feel about these things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just the teams. | ||
| It's the teams. | ||
| It's tribal. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's like, if you could just break down the teams. | ||
| That's the... | ||
| That's the most disheartening part of all of it. | ||
| It's almost like we don't... | ||
| I was thinking the other day, when we grew up, we had Russia. | ||
| And you had Rocky movies, and Reagan was going after him, and Stallone was going after Draco, whatever his name was. | ||
| We had this enemy that we all could focus on. | ||
| And now we have an absence of that. | ||
| And we're looking at each other as the enemy, which has never happened in our lifetime, ever. | ||
| It's so horrible that people from different parts of our country are hating on each other. | ||
| I've never seen it. | ||
| Well, it's exacerbated by Trump. | ||
| It was. | ||
| Even with Obama in office, it was never that bad. | ||
| No. | ||
| Even the people that were ridiculous with Obama. | ||
| Do you remember when, I guess it was Fox News or whatever conservatives, they were furious that Obama had a tan suit on? | ||
| Yeah, that was the big controversy. | ||
| That was the big controversy. | ||
| That and when he fist bumped his wife. | ||
|
unidentified
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Isn't that amazing? | |
| Imagine those two things being controversial now in the wake of Trump. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So Trump exacerbated everything, exaggerated everything. | ||
| Everything got so over the top that people on the left haven't calmed down yet. | ||
| Remember when he got out of office as soon as Biden got in? | ||
|
unidentified
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And they're like, we're going to make a list if anybody supported Trump and you're never going to work again. | |
| You're never gonna work again! | ||
| Your kids are gonna starve! | ||
| It was PTSD. It was really, people are just like, they see his name and you twitch. | ||
| Yeah, they go crazy. | ||
| But really, it's like, so what is our new thing to focus? | ||
| China doesn't seem to do it. | ||
| That's the bigger competitor, but they're not like that cartoonish enemy that we had with Russ Stallone's not going to China and taking on that guy. | ||
| It doesn't have that thing. | ||
| You gotta temper down the... | ||
| New York is not the enemy of Texas. | ||
| Alabama is not the enemy of... | ||
| California. | ||
| We're united. | ||
| The thing is, right now, we're in a confused state, like a post-COVID confused state where things aren't totally normal yet. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's weird. | |
| It's definitely weird. | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| Are we okay? | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Not quite yet, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's really true. | ||
| It's like fits and starts. | ||
| Even when I'm coming here, I was like, oh, this is the land of no mask. | ||
| And I went into two places and was told to put on a mask. | ||
| And I was like, oh, we're not... | ||
| Okay, so your rules... | ||
| No, Austin, people wear masks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when you get outside of Austin, you go to like Round Rock, and you go like, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| Pflugerville, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| Oh, the people in Pflugerville. | ||
| You go out that way, go out to like Dripping Springs, they don't give a fuck. | ||
| There's no more COVID for them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They gave up. | ||
| By the way, it was like that like six months ago. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| I believe you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, there were a lot of places like that. | ||
| In the limited touring that I was doing, I went to Omaha, and I was in Kansas City, and I was coming from the perspective of California, and I'm like, hey, look at us. | ||
| We're all out. | ||
| And they were like, yeah, we've been out. | ||
| They were like- Florida doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| They really don't give a fuck. | ||
| No. | ||
| We just did an arena in Houston for the UFC, and we did an arena in Florida before that. | ||
| 15,000 people packed, and it felt crazy. | ||
| It felt crazy. | ||
| Like, are we really doing this? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Is this really happening? | ||
| But by the time we did the second one in Houston, it was like, yeah, we're back to arenas. | ||
| Yay! | ||
| Crowds. | ||
| Full crowds for the fights. | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Just take your fucking vitamins. | ||
| Just do it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Go. | |
| It's time. | ||
| I mean, this is all the plan. | ||
| It's like we're here. | ||
| We're here. | ||
| I was at the car wash the other day. | ||
| And it's in L.A. And there's like the outdoor seating where you wait for your car. | ||
| And there's like 12 people in chairs. | ||
| And I came out and everybody had the masks down around their chin. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| What's that? | ||
| What's that protecting? | ||
| I've been kind of like walking around with no mask, right? | ||
| And then I went into... | ||
| And I sat down, and so I had my mask in my pocket. | ||
| And I started talking to this guy next to me. | ||
| And I look over, and all those people then had their mask lifted up. | ||
| And there was an older couple there with their mask on. | ||
| So everybody had it low. | ||
| The old couple walked out. | ||
| They all put it back up. | ||
| And I'm sitting there with nothing on my chin. | ||
| Now I felt like... | ||
| The bad guy. | ||
| So I had to, like, buy a red bullet out of my pocket. | ||
| It's like, but June 15th, that's all over. | ||
| Right? | ||
| June 15th, that's not going to be a thing. | ||
| California's crossing that threshold. | ||
| So, all right, if we're at June 15th, like, well... | ||
| What's today? | ||
| Why am I doing... | ||
| Right, right, exactly. | ||
| What magic thing... | ||
|
unidentified
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What is today's date? | |
| Today's the 4th. | ||
| The 4th? | ||
| Oh, we got just a few more days and it's normal. | ||
| And it's normal. | ||
| Countdown to normal. | ||
| So what game are we playing here? | ||
| Well, did you read the Fauci emails? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The Freedom of Information emails? | ||
| That's really crazy. | ||
| Because he, first of all, he's admitting in these emails that masks don't work. | ||
| He was he? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, he talked about it. | ||
| He talked about it openly. | ||
| Wait, I didn't know that part. | ||
| I thought you were going to talk about the crazy thing. | ||
| Well, that too. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Part of the email was, look, part of the mask conversation with Fauci has always been that at the beginning of the pandemic, he said masks didn't work. | ||
| But then he said, the reason he said that is because there wasn't enough masks for first responders and hospital staff, and he wanted to make sure that the supply wasn't diminished. | ||
| So he said that he didn't tell the truth. | ||
| But in these emails, these are private emails, he's saying masks don't work. | ||
| For real? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's saying they're not effective for what you, outside of a hospital setting, these masks, like for personal use, the kind of cloth masks and paper masks that everybody's wearing, they're not effective. | ||
| They're not, they can't, exactly what did he say? | ||
| Let's pull it up so we get exactly what he said. | ||
| But that's not even the big part. | ||
| The big part is he's talking about gain-of-function research in the Wuhan lab. | ||
| And he's concerned about it and thinking whether or not they had paused that and whether they're still doing that. | ||
| And he's trying to connect the gain-of-function research in the Wuhan lab with this COVID breakout and whether or not that's where it came from. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why is that a big deal? | ||
| Because they funded it. | ||
| The NIH funded these people who funded the gain-of-function research in the Wuhan lab, which means they're responsible for funding the very research that led to this outbreak if that's where it came from. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So all this time when he's been saying it came from nature, there's no way it came from a lab. | ||
| Well, you know that's shifted, right? | ||
| Now everybody's saying it came from a lab. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But then not confirmed yet. | ||
| Because the evidence. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the evidence is pointing... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As it's most likely that it came from a lab. | ||
| This whole time, Fauci's been saying it didn't, but you see in his emails that he was concerned. | ||
| Well, concerned, but isn't that like just trying to figure out what the information is? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Because he doesn't definitively know either, right? | ||
| There's a lot of indications, according to the email, that he's talking to another scientist. | ||
| The scientist points out the variables or the components of the virus that seem to indicate that it possibly came from a lab. | ||
| But publicly, he's been out and out dismissing that because he's connected to that research. | ||
|
unidentified
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Because he's connected to the very research they were doing there. | |
| It's really complicated shit. | ||
| Rand Paul's been grilling him. | ||
| Have you seen those things? | ||
| He goes, typical mask you buy in a drugstore is not really effective in keeping out the virus, which is small enough to pass through the material. | ||
| It might, however, provide some slight benefit in keeping out gross droplets if someone coughs or sneezes on you. | ||
| I do not recommend that you wear a mask, particularly since you're going to a very low-risk location. | ||
| See, this is just him saying that these drugstore masks are not really effective. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But this is in an email after he has said publicly that you didn't have to wear masks because they didn't really help. | ||
| And then he's saying this in... | ||
| After that, he said that he wasn't telling the truth there because he didn't want people to buy all the masks. | ||
| But then he's saying this after that in an email that they don't really work, but yet he's wearing a mask all the time. | ||
| But that's kind of like, there is shades in that. | ||
| There's like the- Gross droplets. | ||
| Gross droplets. | ||
| And if you're in a low-risk location, like what's his motivation to- Why would he profess masks if he thought part and parcel that they don't work? | ||
| First of all, the narrative is everybody needs to mask up. | ||
| But why? | ||
| Well, because it makes people feel safer, A. It helps people get back to work, B. And it obviously is providing some benefit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Listen, this is my take on it. | ||
| Something's happening because the flu cases are down so low. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So is that because of people wearing masks? | ||
| Is that because of social distancing because everybody's kind of freaked out and staying away from each other for so long? | ||
| Washing their hands everywhere they go, having Purell at every spot? | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't think that's it. | |
| I don't think that's it because you're talking about something that's airborne. | ||
| Well, for that, but for you to get a cold, you know, your hands and touching your shit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Maybe. | |
| All those things, all those things. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| But there's something, there's very well likely something to masks that maybe we weren't aware of. | ||
| So even what he's saying there, that it might just keep out gross droplets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But isn't it all about viral load? | ||
| Because that's the thing they say about hospital workers. | ||
| Hospital workers, when they're exposed to so much, that's when it's overwhelming and they really get sick. | ||
| So maybe that's what these masks are good for. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Yeah, get that. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Which are the protective measures anyone should take against the new virus? | ||
| Do masks work? | ||
| He said, the vast majority of people outside China do not need to wear a mask. | ||
| Read the Fauci-approved response. | ||
| A mask is more appropriate for someone who's infected than for people trying to protect against infection. | ||
| Right. | ||
| My whole thing with all of this is it's been very confusing. | ||
| Every governor's making decisions. | ||
| Everybody around the world is trying to figure shit out and calling a lockdown or calling not a lockdown. | ||
| Everyone's like unlimited information trying to make the best decisions that they can. | ||
| I don't think that... | ||
| As a governor of a state, you're making a decision to screw up the economy on purpose. | ||
| I don't think that Fauci is talking about masks to harm people. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I feel like they just have limited information and are trying to muddle their way through the best that they can. | ||
| That's not the real problem is the mask thing. | ||
| It's a small problem. | ||
| The real problem is this gain-of-function research shit. | ||
| This is the very research that they were doing where they were juicing up... | ||
| What is gain-of-function? | ||
| They were juicing up these viruses to make them more infectious, and they were practicing trying to use... | ||
| I think they used human lung tissue and tried to get the virus to be more... | ||
| The idea is with... | ||
| I mean, I'm going to butcher this for sure, but I think the idea is when they're doing this research, they want to find out what makes these viruses more infectious. | ||
| And they were doing it on the original SARS as well, which has like a 10% fatality rate, which is very scary. | ||
| This stuff is less than 1%, but that stuff is way worse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And by doing this gain-of-function research, they run the risk of people getting sick. | ||
| We just found out a couple of weeks ago that in November of 2019, three workers from the lab in Wuhan got sent home, or sent to the hospital rather, really ill with coronavirus-like symptoms. | ||
| And this was before they had COVID-19 tests, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Uh-huh. | |
| So these people got sent home. | ||
| I believe one of the guy's wives died from COVID, and they think this was the initial infection. | ||
| So these people in the lab got sick. | ||
| So all this time while they were trying to dismiss this lab outbreak, That had been hidden from us, that these three people in the lab got sick. | ||
| The fact that Fauci had something to do with that gain-of-function research and funding that gain-of-function research, that had kind of been hidden from us. | ||
| Josh Rogan exposed that. | ||
| But that makes it seem like Fauci's putting on scrubs and walking down the halls of that place. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Is Fauci really in there? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Are you defending Fauci? | ||
| Yeah, like I don't know. | ||
| I think that he's been put up as someone we can take our fears and anger and throw it at. | ||
| But is he like, he may be part of like, you know, these things are huge. | ||
| Like there's a big board of people that decide what they're going to research. | ||
| You've got to read these emails. | ||
| You've got to read these emails. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So do you think that he's evil? | ||
|
unidentified
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Do you think that he is? | |
| No, I'm not saying that. | ||
| So what are you saying? | ||
| I think someone fucked up. | ||
| I think they're trying to cover up the fact that they fucked up. | ||
| Ah, okay. | ||
| I think the whole reason why they've been saying that this thing came from nature, it's a natural spillover, is I don't think they're saying that because that's the most likely scenario. | ||
| I think they're saying that because they fucked up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They didn't want everyone to know that they fucked up. | ||
| And I think having the position of power and having the position of authority that he had, he could say, there's no indication this came from a lab. | ||
| Who is they? | ||
| Who fucked up? | ||
| Well, the lab in Wuhan for sure fucked up. | ||
| Okay, so who runs that lab? | ||
| Well, I don't know, but I do know that the NIH funded an organization. | ||
| They gave money to an organization which gave money to that lab. | ||
| That's the official story. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| And this is the story that Rand Paul talked about when he was grilling Fauci. | ||
| This is also what Josh Rogan talked about. | ||
| He's a journalist that investigated all this. | ||
| What Josh Rogan was saying was that during the Trump administration everything was so chaotic That they were able to restart this kind of dangerous research that Obama had put the brakes on. | ||
| Obama apparently was like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Why are you making viruses more deadly? | ||
| Stop! | ||
| And then Trump was over there going, I'm number one, I'm the best. | ||
| And they're like, I got an idea, let's start that fucking research. | ||
| Let it fly! | ||
| Virus force. | ||
| I mean, it's interesting because some news organizations are ignoring it completely and other organizations are attacking. | ||
| That's when you see whether or not the news is really the news. | ||
| Because you see the difference between the way the left-wing news is covering it, which is a lot of them are just out and out ignoring it. | ||
| And then the right-wing news coverage, they're constantly bringing up these emails and pulling them out and hashtag fire Fauci and all this different shit. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| It's like once you start... | ||
| Calling out, like, this is our side's thing. | ||
| Like, I saw that there was a headline in the New Yorker or the New York Times that said why it's so important to figure out whether this lab theory is correct or not. | ||
| And it was like, that was kind of the first time I saw it in those papers. | ||
| Oh no, it was in Newsweek a couple months ago. | ||
| No, but I'm saying... | ||
| That was like the first shot fired. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Because you see it on the cover of Newsweek when they start to consider it again. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But it was political. | ||
| Yeah, it was totally political. | ||
| Trump was such a polarizing figure, and people hated him so much that anything that guy said, everybody was like, fuck him, let's go the other way. | ||
| He said it came from a lab, but it definitely didn't come from a fucking lab. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's the boy that cried wolf syndrome, right? | ||
| He kind of did that to himself. | ||
| He just keeps saying such crazy shit and calling out everybody and yelling. | ||
| But meanwhile, Fauci just wrote a book. | ||
| So he's releasing a book on this now. | ||
| Making money off of a book. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's also the same guy that told us we would never shake hands again. | ||
| I think he's adorable though. | ||
| He's little. | ||
| He's got like a little, like a Bronx kind of thing going. | ||
| I got an action figure somebody sent me. | ||
| A Fauci action figure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With a mask on. | ||
| It has a mask on. | ||
| Sitting on my desk. | ||
| He's adorable. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| Put him out there. | ||
| He's like, you know, there's like all, look, I would love to know what that will... | ||
| Okay, so if we're trying to get into the truth of it, which is what we need, right? | ||
| We need to know... | ||
| Well, obviously, you and me are not going to get into the truth of it. | ||
| Please. | ||
| You could tell me the fact right now, and I'll forget it by the next subject. | ||
| But if they're trying to figure that out, who is behind Wuhan? | ||
| Who is making those decisions to do all this stuff? | ||
| And is that a global thing? | ||
| Is the US a huge part of it? | ||
| Was Norway really involved? | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| They have a bunch of labs in China, apparently, that do this kind of work. | ||
| And they do different kinds of work at different kinds of labs. | ||
| And the real fear is that some labs in the world, some places in the world, they do weaponized virus work. | ||
| God. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| They did that in Russia. | ||
| We actually covered that on this sci-fi show that I hosted years back. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| We covered the idea of weaponized viruses. | ||
| But the thing that they told me when we went to the CDC down in Galveston, Texas, they have this big building where they house basically every fucking terrible disease known to man. | ||
| Big thick-ass walls and ventilation systems and everyone's wearing spacesuits and me and Duncan are high as fuck wandering around this place. | ||
| No. | ||
| You brought Duncan? | ||
| Yeah, me and Duncan went down there. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| And the guy was saying that what he's really worried about more than anything is things that come from nature. | ||
| He's like, we could worry all day about weaponized viruses. | ||
| And he goes, but the possibility of that is low compared to the possibility of something jumping from nature, which is very high. | ||
| Well, that's why during this whole debate of whether it's the lab or the bat, I would rather it be that it came from the lab. | ||
| Like the idea that, so there's just a bat that's, and then one person eats it or kisses it on the lips and now we're all, like, you know what I mean? | ||
| That's so random to me. | ||
| It was like the lab thing I could get my head around. | ||
| It's like, okay, somebody's screwing up and they go through the thing without being sprayed down. | ||
| Okay, that's manmade. | ||
| You expect there to be mistakes. | ||
| But if there's just like some weird wombat That bites some kid on the ankle and then we're all screwed? | ||
| That is terrifying. | ||
| I'd much rather it be the lab story. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| No. | ||
| No, because the lab ones, they kind of can see how they jump. | ||
| Or rather, the nature spillover ones, they can kind of see how they jump. | ||
| They see intermediate steps, they see how it leaps from one animal. | ||
| The idea was that it went from a bat to a pangolin, a pangolin to a person. | ||
| But you didn't know until we're all screwed up and people are not able to breathe that it came from the bat. | ||
| If we knew beforehand, hey, the bats are really bad, then we could go out and kill the bats. | ||
| But we don't know that beforehand. | ||
|
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What? | |
| Kill the bats? | ||
| Nobody's saying we're going to kill the bats. | ||
| Well, we should if they're... | ||
| Should we exterminate the bats? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I think they're really worried about livestock. | ||
| That's what they're worried about the most, right? | ||
| Like these swine flus and avian flus, those are the scary ones. | ||
| And those are the ones that have traditionally been super deadly. | ||
| Those have come from livestock, a lot of them. | ||
| A lot of the pandemics, that's where they jump. | ||
| They jump from... | ||
| Mad cow disease? | ||
| No, no, mad cow disease is a totally different thing. | ||
| Mad cow disease, you have to actually eat the meat because it's a prion disease. | ||
| So what it is is like brain tissue that these cows are eating. | ||
| They're eating their own brain tissue. | ||
|
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Ew. | |
| Yeah, that's how mad... | ||
| Mad cow disease is kind of fucked because what it is is like farmers feeding cows, ground up cows. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They did that to get more protein in the cow's diets. | ||
| And cannibals, whether it's cows or even humans, it creates, when you eat human neural tissue, I think that's what it is. | ||
| It's brain tissue or neural tissue. | ||
| It creates this thing called, what is it, Jakob's Krutzfeld disease? | ||
| And that disease is the same thing as mad cow. | ||
| It's also a prion disease like chronic wasting disease, which is a disease that's infecting deer all across the country right now. | ||
| And it's a real crazy issue because it hasn't jumped from deer to people. | ||
| You can eat a deer that has chronic wasting disease, but you're eating prions that even though they don't affect humans, you can't even kill them in a lab. | ||
| Like when they take these implements, like instruments rather, like say if someone does an operation on a person who has mad cow disease, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They've taken these instruments they use for surgery and they've put them in a thousand degree temperature for hours and the prions are still alive. | ||
| Why are you trying to scare me? | ||
| You know, I try and say that it's the lab, and then you tell me that nature's not as scary, then you bring that out, that sounds terrifying. | ||
| There's so much that can get us out there. | ||
| There's a lot that can get us out there. | ||
| There's so much! | ||
| And even like, not even like the big stuff, like just small like poison ivy. | ||
| How about ticks? | ||
| How about the Lyme disease? | ||
| Fucking Lyme disease. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| I have a friend that has had Lyme disease, he has wrecked No exaggeration. | ||
| It has wrecked the last 10 years of his life. | ||
| He's been in a hungover fog for 10 years. | ||
| Yeah, Lyme disease is horrible. | ||
|
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Horrible. | |
| And there's real speculation that Lyme disease was actually a weaponized disease that got out. | ||
| Ah, jeez. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| No, I didn't know that. | ||
| Who did that? | ||
| CIA. Here it goes. | ||
| Ah, jeez. | ||
| In 1981, a scientist who was studying Rocky Mountain spotted fever, also caused by a tick bite, began to study Lyme disease. | ||
| This scientist, Willy Bergdorfer... | ||
| I don't trust him. | ||
| ...found the connection between the deer tick and the disease. | ||
| He discovered that the bacterium called Spirochet carried by ticks was causing Lyme. | ||
| The medical community honored Dr. Bergdorf's discovery in 1982 by name... | ||
| 82? | ||
| Okay, with extensive backgrounds on Lyme patients and scientific discoveries that ensued, doctors began to use several antibiotics to treat the disease. | ||
| What is the CIA part about it? | ||
| I jumped the gun, sorry. | ||
| Yeah, give me the CIA part about it. | ||
| We do love the 80s, but... | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Because this CIA speculation is pretty recent. | ||
| It's pretty recent that there was some work that they were doing with the idea of spreading diseases through ticks, which is like, what kind of government do we have? | ||
| Yeah, what are you doing to us? | ||
| These guys are sitting around with cigars going, I got a fucking idea. | ||
|
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Exactly. | |
| You know what? | ||
| Some claim that Lyme disease was introduced into the northeastern region of the U.S. by a man-made strain of Borrelia burgodorferi. | ||
| There's so many words. | ||
| So it must be named after that doctor. | ||
| That escaped from a high-containment biological warfare laboratory on Plum Island. | ||
| However, there's ample evidence to indicate that both Ixodes... | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| It cuts off. | ||
| There's so many weird words. | ||
| Plum Island, that doesn't sound good. | ||
| That sounds like a place where they do tests on kids, and like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Right, they trick them with plums. | ||
| They lure them in to the van with plums, drop them off on that island. | ||
| You can only get there with one boat. | ||
| And they do weird tests, and it's creepy hallways, and it's always wet. | ||
| It's one boat a day. | ||
| It leaves at 6 p.m. | ||
| If you miss it, you stay for the day. | ||
| Yeah, did the U.S. event Lyme disease in the 60s? | ||
| The House aims to find out. | ||
| Okay, the House is investigating this. | ||
| In the 1960s, on an 840-acre island at the entrance of the Long Island Sound, scientists at the highly guarded Plum Island Animal Disease Center were at the forefront of a U.S. biological weapons research. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Specifically, they sought to create pathogens that could be deployed stealthily via insects. | ||
| Listen, bro, for sure that got out that way. | ||
| Skip ahead to 1975 when the nearby town of Old Lyme, Connecticut became the epicenter of a strange tick-borne illness. | ||
| Oh, that's why it's Lyme? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Children began to report unusual skin rashes, chronic fatigue, and swollen knees. | ||
| In 1981, the condition was named Lyme disease. | ||
| A conspiracy theory spread like a fever. | ||
| The researchers at Plum Island had engineered a new sickness, one that now affects more than 30,000 Americans per year. | ||
| Yeah, it probably did. | ||
| So why is it predominantly in deer? | ||
| Because it's right next to that fucking place. | ||
| No, like deer. | ||
| Because the deer get infected by the ticks. | ||
| So they've got the ticks. | ||
| They carry the ticks. | ||
| The ticks carry the disease. | ||
| Wherever the deer are, the ticks live. | ||
| The ticks get onto people. | ||
| People get the disease. | ||
| You know, I just want to walk down the Appalachian Trail, roast some marshmallows with my family. | ||
| Don't get bit by a tick, bro. | ||
| I know! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So that's the theory, and apparently there's some merit to it. | ||
| I've talked to people that are like in intelligence agencies, and they think there might be some merit to that. | ||
| Now let me ask you this general question. | ||
| General. | ||
| That creates some sense of calm almost because you get an idea like, oh, that came from Plum Island, from those weirdos, and they did the thing. | ||
| With all of these theories of where the stuff came from and all, does it calm us down to have a story rather than live with the reality that we live on this crazy, germ-filled, virus-filled planet that we have no control over and no real narrative? | ||
| We're basically living in chaos. | ||
| Is that why people crave these stories? | ||
| Do they crave these stories? | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| For sure, we live on this crazy, germ-filled, predator-filled, dangerous planet. | ||
| That's a fact, right? | ||
| And there's for sure a bunch of diseases and a bunch of poisons and toxins and things that can kill us, for sure. | ||
| But I don't know why it would give you calm to think some fucking spooks, some crazy CIA freaks, invented some goddamn weaponized disease that infected bugs and then they released it and then it accidentally got to Lyme, Connecticut and started fucking up kids' lives. | ||
| I don't know why that would make you calm. | ||
| The same reason I don't know why, like, coronavirus coming from a lab would be better. | ||
| Like, oh, it's better! | ||
| It's better that it came from a laugh. | ||
| Because you could go, oh, it was that guy. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| Those creeps on Plum Island did it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Rather than it just came out of the sewer and attacked us. | ||
| I read about a lady who had HIV, so she has a very compromised immune system, and she got COVID, and she had it for over 200 days, and the virus mutated in her body 30 times. | ||
|
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Ew. | |
| I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting. | ||
| The variance. | ||
| You have to take into account all the variance. | ||
| Isn't it amazing how the fear of words like that, like, okay, so my family's vaccinated, we're all good, and I'm like, I am good to go. | ||
| I'm going to the comedy store, I'm just like, I don't even have a mask in my car, and my wife's like, You might want to be a little more cautious. | ||
| And I'm like, why? | ||
| This was the plan. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I followed the rules. | ||
| I did the things. | ||
| I'm good to go. | ||
| She's like, but the variants. | ||
| And it's like, what do you know from the variants? | ||
| Like, what do you mean the variants? | ||
| But I understand it because you're locked on to the fearful words that they've kept spilling over us for all this time. | ||
| And maybe it will turn out that a variant comes out of it. | ||
| Not now. | ||
| There's no variant. | ||
| There's variants. | ||
| But there's no variant that is able to perpetrate the vaccine. | ||
| Incorrect. | ||
| It is not true. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Incorrect. | ||
| Incorrect. | ||
| The South African variant, 100%. | ||
| People that were vaccinated or people that... | ||
| It was either people that were vaccinated or people that had the antibodies from the original COVID encountered the South African variant and it was almost like they had no protection at all. | ||
| You know, sometimes I think you make things up just to scare me. | ||
| That's what Fauci said. | ||
| I'm repeating exactly what he said. | ||
| But we're not supposed to believe Fauci, you said. | ||
| I believe some of the things he said. | ||
| Ah, come on. | ||
| Now I'm really confused. | ||
| He's an infectious disease expert. | ||
| Can I go to the coffee shop without it? | ||
| That is what he said. | ||
| Is my wife right? | ||
| I think you should take vitamin D. I think you should exercise. | ||
| I think you should drink a lot of water. | ||
| Take care of yourself. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| I think you should take all the vitamins, quercetin, zinc, fish oil, all those things. | ||
| I've heard fish oil is no good. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| The reason why you don't die from the disease, like everybody doesn't die from it, is because your immune system protects you. | ||
| Your immune system fights off the disease and you survive. | ||
| The key is having an immune system that's so strong that you never really get sick. | ||
| But it's possible to do. | ||
| It's just not easy, and it takes a concerted effort over a long period of time to protect yourself from not just COVID, but all diseases. | ||
| This is what you're trying to do with an immune system. | ||
| It's just when something like this comes along that you can spread to people, and there's a lot of people with compromised immune systems, a lot of people that aren't healthy, and older folks, and it's fucking scary. | ||
| Are you concerned that there will be a variant that is more deadly? | ||
| Variants? | ||
| Generally, when viruses mutate, this is, again, me. | ||
| I'm an idiot. | ||
| I don't know shit about viruses, but this is what I've read. | ||
| When viruses mutate, they tend to be less deadly but more transmissible. | ||
| Because that is how a virus stays alive. | ||
| A virus doesn't stay alive by killing its host. | ||
| A virus stays alive by keeping the host alive and then becoming more transmissible to other people. | ||
| Well, that's a glimmer of hope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, then it just comes down to people that have fucked up immune systems. | ||
| And this is the big opportunity that was missed during this whole pandemic was like a concerted government effort to educate people on how to strengthen your immune system. | ||
| How to get out there and get healthier. | ||
| How to be healthier. | ||
| Look, obesity is the number one problem. | ||
| Number one. | ||
| 78% of the people hospitalized with COVID were obese. | ||
| 78%? | ||
| 78%, yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's high. | ||
| It's terrible for your body. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| And all this body positivity shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| Look, no one wants you to feel bad. | ||
| I don't want anybody to feel bad. | ||
| No. | ||
| But the facts. | ||
|
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The facts. | |
| The facts is. | ||
| About the variance. | ||
| You've got to take care of your body. | ||
| Take care of your body. | ||
| You take care of your body, it's going to take care of you. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Eat Tom Papa's bread. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| I screwed up the bake. | ||
| I was going to try and bring you bread. | ||
| You fucked up the bake? | ||
| You still fuck up bakes? | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| Timing. | ||
| The timing. | ||
| Because I need the days. | ||
| And I just screwed up the order of it. | ||
| My daughter came back from school. | ||
| I was distracted. | ||
| How much time does it take you to bake a loaf of bread? | ||
| From the time I pull out the starter from the refrigerator, it's one, two, three days. | ||
| Three days? | ||
| Yeah, because you feed it in the first day. | ||
| You mix and make the dough and make it into... | ||
| So when you say feed it, explain this. | ||
| You take the starter out. | ||
| How big of a piece of the starter do you take? | ||
| A big tablespoon. | ||
| A tablespoon. | ||
| Like two tablespoons basically. | ||
| And then what do you do with that two tablespoons? | ||
| I put it into a little bowl and I put equal amount of flour and water in it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Like a hundred grams of each. | ||
|
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And that's feeding? | |
| That's feeding it. | ||
| Giving it flour and water so the yeast in there can eat. | ||
| And do you have a specific kind of flour that you use? | ||
| I do. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| I get from Central Milling out of Utah and I order 50 pound bags of flour. | ||
| It costs more to ship it than it does to pay for the flour. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| And I get these big giant things. | ||
| Is the flour like a specific kind of flour? | ||
| Yeah, there's different, and you're always kind of exploring these different types of flour. | ||
| I almost said variants. | ||
|
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Variants of the flour. | |
| Variants of the flour. | ||
| I use a malted wheat flour and an all-purpose flour, and then mess around with spelt and some rice and some stuff like that. | ||
| Do you, you know, there's like old world wheat, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that Italian pasta, when you get it in Italy, they have that old, what is that called? | ||
| Durham. | ||
| No, but there's a, like it's double zero or something like that. | ||
| Double zero, yeah, they use that for pizza doughs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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It really tastes bad. | |
| Double zero flour, yeah. | ||
|
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It's bad. | |
| It doesn't like upset your stomach as much either. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I mean, my bread is predominantly wheat, and it does not hurt your stomach. | ||
| It does not cause you to... | ||
| My wife actually had a bagel the other day. | ||
| It, like, kind of hit her. | ||
| She had a bagel, just a pure bagel, and went to school. | ||
| She teaches and crashed, like, in the middle of, you know, before lunch. | ||
| But when she eats my bread, she's not hungry, and she doesn't crash, because it's already breaking down all of the sugars in the process of it. | ||
| So she... | ||
| Well, explain that. | ||
| It's because it's sourdough, right? | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| And sourdough, it's very low gluten, right? | ||
| Sourdough? | ||
| I don't know if it's... | ||
| No, not necessarily. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| No, not necessarily. | ||
| Because that's the structure of it. | ||
| But I thought that was the whole idea of sourdough, was that sourdough has lower gluten because there's something about the starter and whatever that... | ||
|
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|
Yeah, no. | |
| What is the fermented... | ||
| What would you call it? | ||
| The starter, the mother. | ||
| What is the actual organism that's growing in there? | ||
| The yeast. | ||
| It's yeast? | ||
| Yeast, yeah, yeast. | ||
| There's something about that yeast. | ||
| Apparently, they were saying with sourdough that makes it have less gluten. | ||
| I don't think it has less gluten. | ||
| Because gluten is the structure. | ||
| It's like those strands that will make the bread have its shape. | ||
| It's the protein. | ||
|
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It's a protein, right? | |
| Yeah, and it makes it have that shape. | ||
| Let's Google it. | ||
| Like my friends who were gluten intolerant, and it was all the extra stuff that was in the breads that was bothering their stomach. | ||
| And if you just eat my bread, which is flour, water, salt, and yeast, it doesn't have anything extra in it. | ||
| There's no sugars. | ||
| What extra stuff? | ||
| Like preservatives? | ||
| Preservatives and sugars and glucose and all this other stuff, and that was making people sick. | ||
| And I have friends that had gluten issues that eat my bread and have no problem with it, because it's just pure, you know? | ||
| And so my wife, she wasn't crashing just from eating my stuff, but you eat a bagel, which has some added sugar in it, and it has all these sugars that are breaking down. | ||
| Your body's breaking down. | ||
| Yeah, you don't realize how bad that stuff is for you until you do feel that crash, and you're like, oh! | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| Fermentation process used to make sourdough breaks bread down some of the gluten and inflammatory compounds in wheat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| However, it still contains some gluten, and no scientific evidence suggests that it's easier to digest. | ||
| Yeah, but what kind of science are they doing on digestion? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How's it make you feel? | ||
| But it is... | ||
| See, it does break down some of the gluten and the inflammatory compounds, whatever the fuck those are. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The digestibility of sourdough bread may depend upon the individual and various factors. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's different flours that you can use that are low-gluten, but they're very tough to work with. | ||
| Yeah, it says it right there. | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| It says it right there. | ||
| There's several brands of ready-made gluten-free sourdough bread on the market. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fermentation process improves the taste, texture, and shelf life of gluten-free bread, so you may find you prefer gluten-free sourdough over regular ingredients. | ||
| Gluten-free bread. | ||
| But you're working towards trying to get gluten-free at that point. | ||
| This is a sourdough propaganda website. | ||
| Check the source on that. | ||
| So then I feed it and then I feed it... | ||
| That day, I'll feed it in the morning and then feed it in the afternoon, and then it starts to bubble up. | ||
| It really becomes active. | ||
| It becomes this real bubbly thing. | ||
| The yeast is eating it, and it's shooting out gas, and it becomes this bubbly stuff that's ready to make in the dough, which you do the next day. | ||
| And then you make that into your dough. | ||
| You take more flour and water, mix that together, and then you add the sourdough starter that you have in that Weird little bowl. | ||
| And you mix that together. | ||
| And then after four hours, you shape that, put it in baskets, put it in the refrigerator, and then the next morning you bake it. | ||
| So it's three days. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So you really plan it out. | ||
| You do. | ||
| During those times, once you get that starter out and you start feeding it, you have a process. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And I have to work my day around it. | ||
| If I know I'm going to the store that night at 9, I can't mix four hours before that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because if I'm going to come home late... | ||
| I'll miss the time. | ||
| It'll overproof. | ||
| And then I've got something that's too loose to work with. | ||
| So I literally have to make sure that I shape it before I go to my spots. | ||
| Or I'll literally work my spot. | ||
| I won't hang out. | ||
| I've got to get home because I've got to get the bread shaped. | ||
| Yeah, it's a baker's life. | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| Which is why any time I think about starting a bakery or doing it bigger, I do four loaves a week. | ||
| I was just going to ask you that. | ||
| Yeah, it's a hard, it's a real hard, dedicated life that you have to. | ||
| It's not easy work. | ||
| It's a hard not life, get it? | ||
| Like garlic? | ||
| Yeah, I was going to ask you if you ever thought about starting up a bakery. | ||
| Because you really are an artist. | ||
| Your bread really is special. | ||
| Whenever I eat it, I'm like, God damn, this is really good. | ||
| If I had a bakery near me and I could get a fresh loaf of your bread, I'd be pumped. | ||
| I'd be there all the time. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And it's not bad for you. | ||
| It's not good for you. | ||
| You can't eat it all the time. | ||
| Stop lying to people. | ||
| It's fucking bread, bro. | ||
| It's bread, but it's not the bread that you're used to. | ||
| It's not eating a baguette. | ||
| It's not eating this other kind of stuff. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's not as good. | ||
| Are you a scientist? | ||
| Do you know this for a fact? | ||
| Are you just guessing? | ||
| No, I know it for a fact. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, I know it for a fact. | ||
| And, anecdotally, for my life, I can't eat it every day. | ||
| But anecdotally, it does feel different. | ||
| When I do cut all that stuff out, when I cut completely out, that's when I lose weight, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if I'm going to eat that stuff, if I am going to eat a bread product, like to eat my bread and that's like your one carb thing that you get for the day, you're in good shape. | ||
| Have you ever gone on like a full health diet, like I'm going to not eat any sugar, I'm going to not drink any alcohol, I'm going to not eat any garbage food? | ||
| Have you done that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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How long? | |
| For like 30 days. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| How was it? | ||
| It was hard in the beginning. | ||
| The stuff that I really missed... | ||
| The cool thing is that you can actually see what you abuse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And for me, it was dairy products. | ||
| It was cheeses. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| That was the thing that was hard for me to cut. | ||
| Are they bad for you? | ||
| Cheeses? | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| Who tells you that? | ||
| The internet. | ||
| I think raw cheese is not bad for you. | ||
| Isn't that a processed food? | ||
| I mean, a lot of things are processed. | ||
| Just processed doesn't necessarily mean bad, right? | ||
| Like, what means bad is preservatives. | ||
| Preservatives are a real issue. | ||
| I don't think processed. | ||
| A lot of healthy foods are processed, you know? | ||
| But if you eat a lot of cheese, aren't you going to be a little... | ||
| I saw a study recently that connected cheese with lower instances of Alzheimer's. | ||
| Really? | ||
| What the fuck does that mean, though? | ||
| There is nothing- I just accept it. | ||
| There is nothing greater to me than wine, cheese, and bread. | ||
| And throw in some pepperoni or prosciutto. | ||
| Like that? | ||
| Charcuterie. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Charcuterie. | ||
| Charcuterie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that? | ||
| If you tell me that that's okay to eat, I would eat it every single day. | ||
| There's a place in town called The Lonesome Dove, and they have rattlesnake salami. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it good? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That place is really good. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It's a delicious restaurant. | ||
| They have all kinds of cool stuff there. | ||
| Wild game. | ||
| They serve all kinds of interesting foods and dishes. | ||
| Really good stuff. | ||
| So when I did the 30 days, I dropped probably 10 pounds. | ||
| And that was kind of the lesson that I had. | ||
| Alcohol, it was okay. | ||
| Meat, even. | ||
| I don't eat that much. | ||
| It was really that kind of cheesy stuff. | ||
| But, you know, look. | ||
| Anytime I want to dial in, like during the pandemic, when I was like... | ||
| I worked out the whole time. | ||
| I was doing everything I could to be healthier. | ||
| And when I just didn't have any bread, none of that stuff, you feel better. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Raw cheeses apparently are very hard to get. | ||
| And I knew a dude who was from France. | ||
| He was from France. | ||
| He was an oncologist from Paris. | ||
| And he smuggled raw cheese back from Europe. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because in Europe, cheese is not pasteurized and homogenized. | ||
| Yeah, why is that okay? | ||
| And why do we think it's not okay? | ||
| Well, I think the whole thing is shelf life. | ||
| It's the same reason why raw milk is difficult. | ||
| They were arresting people for selling raw milk at places in California. | ||
| Yeah, it's a big deal. | ||
| I was once on the road in the Northeast where my opening act wanted raw milk. | ||
| And she was like, can we just stop and ask the farmer? | ||
| And we did. | ||
| We pulled into this guy's little place that was in New Hampshire or Vermont and asked him if we could have a glass of milk. | ||
| And he gave it to us. | ||
| Request a couple of comedians pull up to your house. | ||
| Can we have a glass of milk? | ||
| Just milk right from the cow? | ||
| And it was kind of warm. | ||
| It was warm? | ||
| Yeah, it was kind of warm. | ||
| Like right from the cow? | ||
| Yeah, like right from the cow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it was weird. | ||
| How long did you talk to this guy before you asked him for milk? | ||
| Ten seconds. | ||
| First of all, when you're pulling up to someone's barn or house, you're coming up that gravel road with the dust coming off the back of your car. | ||
| They're probably like this, looking out the window. | ||
| Someone's coming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He looks like a bread maker. | ||
| Two comedians pop out. | ||
| We want some regular milk. | ||
| You bread-eating fucko. | ||
| Yeah, I'll give you some bread for some milk. | ||
| I'll trade you bread. | ||
| Open up my case. | ||
| But if it's shelf life, that's just commerce. | ||
| Well, yeah, there's commerce, but there's the worry that people are going to have milk that's raw, and they're going to let it sit, and they're going to drink it, and they're going to get sick. | ||
| I mean, the whole reason why homogenized and pasteurized milk was made is so that it could stay fresh or stay drinkable for longer. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| But the way it's been described to me, like all the natural enzymes that are in milk, they help your body digest it. | ||
| A lot of the problems that people have with like, you know, people have like lactose intolerance. | ||
| Like one of my daughters has lactose intolerance. | ||
| So she has to take like a little pill before she has anything, a lactaid. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Yeah, my daughter does too. | ||
| Her butt becomes a trumpet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Which is fun sometimes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this lactose thing apparently is not nearly as much of an issue when they use raw milk. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| So people that have a hard time digesting milk normally... | ||
| Again, we should probably Google this. | ||
| Is it easier for people with lactose intolerance to digest raw milk? | ||
| I'm already looking at something that says, like, the ease of digestibility of raw cheddar gives those that experience discomfort with processed cheese products a delicious and natural option. | ||
| Yeah, but can you get it in Texas? | ||
| Like, because California is, like, regulated through the fucking roof. | ||
| There's a lot of weirdness with the raw milk. | ||
| I remember you used to be able to buy it places, but then I saw that certain places were getting, like, people were literally getting arrested. | ||
| But then I was like, well, is that because they don't have a license for it? | ||
| Have they skirted the regulations? | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| It seems like the nut milks is what most people are... | ||
| You are such a Californian. | ||
| No one in Texas is drinking that nut milk. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oat milk and... | ||
| It seems like the nut milk is what everybody's drinking in my Silver Lake community. | ||
| No, really. | ||
| That stuff's disgusting. | ||
| First of all, it's not milk. | ||
| Do you ever drink milk? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Do you ever drink milk? | ||
| Regular milk? | ||
| You do? | ||
| Dude, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. | ||
| With a glass of milk is sensational. | ||
| And then what is that? | ||
| There's a vegan cookie company that you get at Whole Foods. | ||
| I think it's Uncle Eddie's. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Uncle Eddie's vegan cookies? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Goddamn, they're so good. | ||
| Those are good. | ||
| I don't care if they're vegan. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're so good. | ||
| The peanut butter chocolate chip ones. | ||
| Oh, with milk? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Sensational. | ||
| Yeah, well, I think, I mean, look, this is because I live in California now. | ||
| Everyone's drinking the oat milks. | ||
| You're going to tell me that nut milks aren't pissing off the dairy people? | ||
| First of all, it's not milk. | ||
| It's some weird thing you're doing with water. | ||
| You just soak in these beans. | ||
| I always think that when I put it on cereal or something. | ||
| I'm just wetting it. | ||
| I'm just using this to wet the cereal. | ||
| Yeah, there is no breasts on almonds. | ||
| You're not getting milk out of almonds. | ||
| It's not milk. | ||
| Oat milk's pretty good. | ||
| Yeah, it tastes good, but most of that stuff is sugar. | ||
| Yeah, I found a place you can buy it, and it delivers to you. | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| It even comes through the mail. | ||
| That's got to be good for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| One gallon raw milk. | ||
| They deliver it to you. | ||
| I don't think it counts. | ||
| Dude, I have not had a glass of milk in 20 years. | ||
| They have raw butter, eggs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Cheddar, Asiago. | ||
| Send me a link to this place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Okay. | ||
| This is nice. | ||
| It is nice. | ||
| Okay, barn2door.com. | ||
| And then you find a local farm. | ||
| It's like Uber Eats for farms, I guess. | ||
| And they have raw butter, raw milk. | ||
| It doesn't come like... | ||
| So this just... | ||
| It says it will come in three days. | ||
| I think so you have to pre-order it. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Well, seems like that makes sense. | ||
| I go to the specialty shop and get this butter from France. | ||
| I get this French butter. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| What is that stuff? | ||
| Oh, Gouda. | ||
| Look at that slab of Gouda cheese. | ||
| Ooh, look at that. | ||
| Oh, I love it all. | ||
| Raw cheddar, raw Gouda. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Oh, they sold out of the fucking Pepper Jack. | ||
| I'm a big fan of raw milk. | ||
| It tastes really good. | ||
| Yeah, man, I don't even think about drinking milk. | ||
| It's a weird thing, right? | ||
| Because it's only really for weaning animals. | ||
| It's only really for young animals that are sucking on their mother's teats. | ||
| That's what it's for. | ||
| Here, I kind of left out the big part of this thing. | ||
| When I did this, this was like 15 years ago, and it was the 30 days of cutting everything completely out. | ||
| My allergies went away. | ||
| My whole life, I thought I was allergic to cats, or I was constantly chasing, is it seasonal? | ||
| Is it whatever? | ||
| I mean, my whole life. | ||
| And when I stopped, it was... | ||
| I had no more allergies. | ||
| I was not blowing my nose 24 hours a day. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| And then when I weaned all those things back slowly to see what it was, it was those. | ||
| It was the milk products. | ||
| It was ice cream, any of that kind of stuff. | ||
| If I had it... | ||
| Total allergy attack. | ||
| I wonder if that same thing would happen if you had raw. | ||
| Yeah, good question. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta think. | ||
| Give me that website. | ||
| Your body gets a hold of some processed, homogenized, pasteurized milk. | ||
| So it's getting this weird liquid and this dead protein. | ||
| And it's probably like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Yeah, what are you doing? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| It's like it's coming out of your ass. | ||
| It's all this gas buildup. | ||
| You feel bloated. | ||
| Bloated. | ||
| Your body can't process it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it tastes pretty fucking good. | ||
| Nice cold glass with a chocolate chip cookie. | ||
| Dunk that cookie in that milk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| But not everything's good for you. | ||
| No. | ||
| But what's amazing, too, I was thinking, like, how little amount of something can whack your system. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, just a little cup of espresso and you're, like, so then when you, like, that whacks your system. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So then you take like a big giant size of it or like a whole plate of nachos or a whole whatever substance. | ||
| Like we're very sensitive. | ||
| And then you're just loading the shit into your system. | ||
| It's like, of course this stuff has impact. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of things that you take into your body that you think are not that big of a deal. | ||
| But over the course of a day, if most people could see the amount of sugar, if you could have like a box, like a small box that shows you the amount of sugar the average American eats in a day, you'd be like, holy fuck! | ||
| Like apple juice, right? | ||
| Little kids get apple juice. | ||
| My daughter had one of these little apple juice containers. | ||
| They're very small. | ||
| It's like four ounces or something like that. | ||
| It was like 20 grams of sugar. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| It's all sugar. | ||
| It's just sugar. | ||
| It's sugar water. | ||
| My wife was, again, at her job, and she was getting these, like, sparkling waters. | ||
| And she's like, wow, these are really good. | ||
| And she was, like, pounding them. | ||
| 30 grams of sugar. | ||
| That was the thing about Duncan. | ||
| Duncan was like, dude, this almond milk's amazing! | ||
| And I go, what do you got? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| And so he tells me about this almond milk. | ||
| And I go, hey, I go, do me a favor. | ||
| I go, look down at the amount of sugar per serving. | ||
| And he's like, okay, hold on, hold on. | ||
| Holy fuck! | ||
| I go, yeah, that's why it tastes good. | ||
| You're drinking a milkshake, buddy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's not even milk. | ||
| You're drinking an almond weird water syrup thing. | ||
| So I was trying to not drink milk anymore after my allergy problem. | ||
| And I kind of found the cure. | ||
| And then I was opening for Robert Schimmel. | ||
| On the road. | ||
| And he's like, do you want to go for a Starbucks? | ||
| And I was like, he was just such a great guy. | ||
| And he was so kind. | ||
| And I was like, no, I don't know. | ||
| I'm just so bummed out that I can't have a latte because of the milk thing. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| No, you can, come on, we'll go, you can get almond milk in that. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| And he brought me, like in between shows, he brought me around to the Starbucks and got me an almond milk latte. | ||
| And I was like, so grateful. | ||
| I was like, oh yeah, this is so great. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| And for years, I was literally, a couple of years was like, so great. | ||
| And I had the attachment to Schimmel, like he showed me this thing and I was all so excited. | ||
| And, uh, Same thing. | ||
| When they started posting all the amount of sugar and stuff that was in their drinks, I was like, a grande latte has how much sugar in it? | ||
| I was like, this is a milkshake. | ||
| It's an almond milk milkshake. | ||
| I was like, screw you, Schimmel. | ||
| Those Frappuccino things? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those things are just all sugar. | ||
| All sugar. | ||
| All sugar. | ||
| But that's why they're so good. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Those will make you crash hard. | ||
| Big time. | ||
| What does this say? | ||
| Visualization of sugar consumption. | ||
| The average American consumes 45 grams of sugar, the amount found in one of today's 12-ounce sodas. | ||
| That was in 1822. Every five days. | ||
| Yeah, I'm reading. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| I thought you missed the 1822 part. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I'm like, in 2012, Americans consume 765 grams of sugar every five days. | ||
| So they went from consuming a tiny amount, 45 grams of sugar, which is two, a little bit more than two of my daughter's little apple juice containers, which is hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every five days they would have two of those, which is basically one 12-ounce soda every five days, which is nuts. | ||
| Now every five days they consume 765 grams of sugar. | ||
| The average American can consume 130 pounds of sugar every year. | ||
| It's so sneaky. | ||
| You know, I've said this before, but when I was buying regular bread for my family, the healthiest bread I could find had all the sugar in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like that Dave's bread? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Delicious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's full of sugar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is it called, Dave's? | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Yeah, Dave's... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It looks like healthy. | ||
| It looks really healthy. | ||
| It's fucking good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm gonna lie to myself. | ||
| Keep saying it's Dave's Killer Bread. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Dave's Killer Bread. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If I'm looking to make a sandwich. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I like that. | ||
| I like to go peanut butter, jelly, and banana. | ||
| I like those sometimes. | ||
| It's such a simple little joy. | ||
| Oh, it's so nice, but there's so much sugar in that. | ||
| Yeah, the jelly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And afterwards I'll sit on the couch and go, oh, why? | |
| Why did I sacrifice the next few hours of my life for just a few moments of mouth pleasure? | ||
| Because it's so great. | ||
| It's so great! | ||
| It's so great that you're talking about it all these weeks later. | ||
| You're like, oh my god, that peanut butter and jelly sandwich was so good. | ||
| And if you try to have that fake stuff, like keto desserts, those are all dog shit. | ||
| Substitute, I know. | ||
| You can lie to yourself all you want. | ||
| Stop lying. | ||
| But sometimes you gotta dial it in. | ||
| Sometimes you gotta take care of yourself, you know, and that's okay. | ||
| You just have to pick your times of when you're gonna let yourself go off. | ||
| What did you do unusual during this pandemic? | ||
| Did you do anything where you made a shift in your daily routine? | ||
| Yeah, it was the creation of a routine was kind of the thing. | ||
| It was like creating structure where there was no structure. | ||
| I found that that was so important, to have that plan every day. | ||
| I wasn't waking up in this weird haze of, what's happening? | ||
| I got really dialed into how I was going to go after each day. | ||
| And I had the radio show that I do with Fortune. | ||
| So that was two hours of my day, Monday through Thursday. | ||
| And then from that I built out. | ||
| So I would... | ||
| You want me to go through it? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like what a day was? | ||
| Like I would wake up... | ||
| A little earlier so I could get the first meditation in before the day started, because I do that twice a day. | ||
| So I would do that for 20 minutes. | ||
| Then I would do the research and whatever I had to do for the show, do the radio show. | ||
| That brought me to noon. | ||
| And then I would work out immediately after that, regardless of how I felt. | ||
| I would have to work out Immediately. | ||
| And then the afternoon was kind of loose, was kind of structure-free, because you're dealing with the family or whatever. | ||
| And then at night, when I was normally going out and doing stand-up, That's where I was working on the writing. | ||
| Some were working on the next book. | ||
| And I was like, where is that going to fit? | ||
| It's hard to fit it in before the day. | ||
| So when I would normally go out and do spots at night, from like 8 o'clock to 10, that's when I would do the writing. | ||
| So it gave you, so even though you're not doing the normal stuff like stand-up, it gave you like a real strict sort of schedule to look forward to every day. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| And the writing was like the creative kind of thing, like where I wasn't getting everything that you got from performing, like the adrenaline and all that kind of like... | ||
| Great stuff. | ||
| I was sitting with my comedic thoughts. | ||
| But at least you're creating. | ||
| Creating. | ||
| And I'm sorry, I would do the second meditation was at the end of the day. | ||
| That's usually around 4. And that gives you a little more energy to go and do that writing or that spot. | ||
| So you do two a day? | ||
| Two 20 minute ones a day? | ||
| How many minutes? | ||
| 20. 20? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How long did you take off stand-up? | ||
| Not that long. | ||
| I did like one a month starting in June. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| I went to Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. | ||
| I picked places where I knew the owners and knew the city seemed like it was under control and it calculated risk. | ||
| I just had to do it. | ||
| Did you test yourself or get tested anywhere? | ||
| I would get tested, yeah. | ||
| I would get tested. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When? | |
| Come back? | ||
| When I came back. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you hide from everybody before you got tested? | ||
| It was loosey-goosey. | ||
| My wife would sleep in the other room. | ||
| They wouldn't kiss me. | ||
| They hid from you when you came back from the rest? | ||
| A little distancing, you know. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Because it was weird back in June. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| We didn't know. | ||
| People were leaving their mail outside. | ||
| What made you want to go out so early? | ||
| Because a lot of people were shaming other comedians that were doing gigs, even if the health department said it was okay. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| That's ludicrous. | ||
| If I'm going to a city where that city has decided that it is safe for this business to operate this way, and those people in that city have agreed to go out and participate in that show, and I come in and everyone's following the rules and doing the thing, Everything else is emotional. | ||
| Well, that is what it is. | ||
| It's emotional, but those emotions were very prevalent with the Twitter sphere of stand-up comedians. | ||
| I don't participate in it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't participate in it either. | ||
| I just find it fascinating. | ||
| The thing that I got out of it was most of the people that didn't want people performing weren't doing so good anyway. | ||
| They were the people that weren't doing good on the road to begin with. | ||
| Oh, it's interesting. | ||
| And then other people started going out again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They almost want everybody's life to suck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I talked to one guy who actually admitted it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| His basic take was he was never comfortable. | ||
| And one of the things about the lockdown was it made everyone uncomfortable. | ||
| It made everyone's life kind of fucked up. | ||
| And then once everything started going back, he resisted. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think that's a lot of the angst you see online. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I honestly didn't catch any of that. | ||
| I didn't see that kind of shaming stuff. | ||
| I remember I put on some shows in LA. I had this warehouse space that was really open. | ||
| We could open up the doors. | ||
| Where'd you do this? | ||
| In the Valley. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When'd you do that? | ||
| I did that in June, July. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Yeah, I did two of them. | ||
| And I just opened up the doors. | ||
| I had Fitzsimmons there and the Sklar brothers and Erica Rhodes was on it. | ||
| And she came up to me with her little mask on and stuff. | ||
| And she said, you got to be kind of secretive when you do shows. | ||
| People attack you. | ||
| I was like, oh, really? | ||
| Because when I went out, first one was Salt Lake City at Wise Guys. | ||
| It was just pure joy. | ||
| I was so happy just to be doing it. | ||
| The staff was like, thank you so much for coming. | ||
| There were legit people not able to make their rent, getting kicked out of places, not having work. | ||
| They were so grateful that we were doing anything. | ||
| And it was cobbled together in limited capacity. | ||
| And the same thing in Portland. | ||
| I went up to Helium and did that one. | ||
| And I brought my daughter with me in July. | ||
| And it was just so euphoric. | ||
| It wasn't any noise about any negative whatever. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| And I just loved it. | ||
| And I did it June. | ||
| Then I ran my own show like in July. | ||
| Then I did Portland. | ||
| Then I did Comedy Works. | ||
| Why'd you stop doing your own show? | ||
| It just got time and it just got kind of tricky. | ||
| It was just trying to put it all together. | ||
| I had to pay for people to be able to do it. | ||
| I paid all the comedians and I gave them all the microphones. | ||
| My friend Greg Grunberg, it's his space, he's an actor. | ||
| And we gave them microphones from Blue Microphone and it cost us probably $500 to put up the show. | ||
| You mean everybody got their own microphone? | ||
| Yeah, we gave everyone a microphone. | ||
| because I figured it was a cool thing to do and it would and I figured like this is what comedians were so great and They just wanted to work. | ||
| They wanted to do it. | ||
| If everyone got their microphone, I knew they were going to go use it somewhere else. | ||
| When they did whatever shows that they were cobbling together. | ||
| Whitney Cummings did it in her backyard. | ||
| I did it with her. | ||
| I thought that was wild. | ||
| It was so funny. | ||
| People got mad at her for that. | ||
| Meanwhile, she tested everybody there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tested everybody there, did it outside in the backyard, and people were still like, you're super spreading, super spreading. | ||
| And you look back at those stories. | ||
| From Whitney's thing, from going to Wise Guys, from going to Hilarities, doing all these shows. | ||
| What's the story? | ||
| The story was people came out, they were calculated, they made their own decisions, and they had a great time, and they didn't get sick. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's the truth. | ||
| Well, I'm not sure nobody got sick. | ||
| You got all those people together in a room. | ||
| It's possible somebody got mad to get sick. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| At that point... | ||
| You should be able to do whatever you want to do. | ||
| This thing has basically just run through the population. | ||
| I'm not saying you should do things that are reckless. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| This was not thoughtless. | ||
| If you want to take a chance and go out, do whatever you want. | ||
| What do you want to do? | ||
| That's essentially how they do it here in Texas. | ||
| In Texas, it was in March when the governor said, that's it. | ||
| We're done. | ||
| No more masks. | ||
| No more mask mandate. | ||
| Everything's open to 100% capacity. | ||
| Do whatever the fuck you want to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And Biden was like, that's Neanderthal thinking. | |
| And meanwhile, it's worked out great. | ||
| There's been no issues. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's going to be interesting to see what the stories are when we look back at this, like, you know, with some perspective. | ||
| Like, was Florida... | ||
| Were they worse off than California? | ||
| They definitely weren't. | ||
| They're better off. | ||
| Are they better off? | ||
| Their economy's better off and they have less cases. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they have older people. | ||
| Older population. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| They're also outside. | ||
| I was watching this video from this doctor and he was saying this idea of flu season. | ||
| He said, you know what the flu season coincides with? | ||
| People being locked down indoors. | ||
| It's like flu season coincides with low vitamin D. Right. | ||
| And almost no sunshine. | ||
| Well, you're not going out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, where's flu hit you the worst? | ||
| Northeast, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why is it hit you the worst? | ||
| Because that's when it's cold out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And everybody's indoors, and if you're not supplementing with vitamin D, his take was, you're not getting enough from being outside. | ||
| You're just not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What do you have exposed? | ||
| Your face? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You only have your face exposed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it makes sense. | ||
| I mean, look, I really do believe that people were doing their best and just trying to do whatever they thought in their communities. | ||
| They were just trying to make the best decisions to keep people safe and keep their businesses going and doing where some of them, you're going to look back and say, well, maybe some people went too far. | ||
| Maybe people didn't do enough. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Bro, Canada is the craziest. | ||
| Yeah, what a crazy story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're still locked down. | |
| I know. | ||
| Still locked down. | ||
| They were doing so well early on. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Makes no sense. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I have a friend that's filming in Vancouver, and he's double vaxxed for over a month. | ||
| Double vaxxed? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| He got both shots. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Vaxxed. | ||
| And he's for over a month, but he flew from New York to Vancouver, and he's in a hotel room for 14 days before he can go on set. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, in his hotel room. | ||
| They just came and gave him good news. | ||
| You can leave your hotel room for 20 minutes a day. | ||
| 20 minutes a day. | ||
| He's just sitting in this airport hotel in this tiny little room. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| Poor guy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Well, it's just they're treating it like it's March of last year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're not treating it based on the current data. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's sketchy, Tom. | ||
| It is sketchy. | ||
| But going out and performing was just so... | ||
| was great. | ||
| And the people were awesome. | ||
| And now it's like, holy cow, we just put in all of the dates of going forward. | ||
| I'm going to do some small stuff in the next couple of months. | ||
| And then I hit Vegas in July. | ||
| And from that point on... | ||
| All the shows that were rescheduled from before, I'm sure you have this, they were all rescheduled, plus some new dates. | ||
| It's like from July to like March. | ||
| It's just all on full capacity go time. | ||
| I'm not going to be home ever. | ||
| Yeah, I did a full capacity show in Houston for the first time. | ||
| That was like a couple weeks ago. | ||
| I was a little rusty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like you feel it. | ||
| You feel a little tight. | ||
| You feel a little, just a little... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I'm doing arenas soon with Chappelle. | ||
| We're doing the MGM in Vegas on the 8th and 9th of July. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's going to be great. | ||
| Yeah, that's going to be good. | ||
| How many shows? | ||
| We're doing two. | ||
| Two shows? | ||
| One on the 8th, one on the 9th. | ||
| Because there's always that thing when you go and you did clubs, like you would get there Thursday and that would always be like, you dust off a little bit, even though you were performing before then, right? | ||
| It was like getting your feet back and like, where's this hour go, you know? | ||
| And so like to not do it for like months at a time and then come back, of course. | ||
| So it's got to be like a weird feeling when you get the return to the big set when you're in an arena full of people looking at you. | ||
| Well, the good news is there's a lot of clubs here that have been open for a long time. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| So we've been able to work here forever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How often are you going out? | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, three nights this week. | ||
| Oh, that's good. | ||
| Yeah, I went up last night. | ||
| I was up the night before, the night before that. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Where are you playing? | ||
| Different places. | ||
| I've been doing Vulcan, Vulcan Gas Company. | ||
| I've been doing that. | ||
| I've been doing the Creek in the Cave. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Great little place. | ||
| Yeah, everyone loves that. | ||
| Great little place. | ||
| It's so tight. | ||
| So it's so, like, everything I like about, like, I mean, no disrespect, but it's dingy. | ||
| I like, but I like it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dingy's good. | |
| I like a little... | ||
| V-O-R. Yeah, it's kind of, like, kind of glued together, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like it. | |
| It's the best. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| And they pack people in there, and it's real enthusiastic crowds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you know Rebecca? | ||
| Do you know Rebecca, who owns Creek in the Cave? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| She's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's, like, one of them matriarchal comedy mom figures. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Keeps everything together. | ||
| Did she... | ||
| Was that related to the Brooklyn one? | ||
| It was her. | ||
| So she started that one? | ||
| And moved out here. | ||
| And then moved out here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Got it. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The scene out here is strong, man. | ||
| There's a lot of comics out here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of open micers, too. | ||
| So they have a lot of open mics they go to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nice. | |
| And there's a real good community. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was so... | ||
| I mean, I was so proud to be a comedian during all of this. | ||
| Just watching everybody doing whatever they could... | ||
| Figuring it out, right? | ||
| They just wanted to work. | ||
| They just wanted to relate. | ||
| They were courageous. | ||
| They were smart. | ||
| They were just trying to do shows. | ||
| It just was like, this is what makes comedy so great. | ||
| On rooftops and Zooming the things and doing whatever they could to create content. | ||
| They could have held back on the Zoom one. | ||
| Yeah, but you know. | ||
| I know, but you know what? | ||
| I did one for a charity in Montreal last week. | ||
| I've only done like three. | ||
| Was it good? | ||
| It was good. | ||
| It wasn't good for me. | ||
| It was good for the charities? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| It was a charity for a hospital. | ||
| It wasn't a good one because it looked good, I guess, but I couldn't hear anything. | ||
| So I'm literally doing my own rhythm, taking my pauses of where I know the laughs are. | ||
| It wasn't like I felt satisfied. | ||
| But they did a meet and greet after, a Zoom meet and greet, and they had all these people in their house. | ||
| They were so grateful. | ||
| They were so happy. | ||
| They hadn't laughed that hard, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| For them, it was great. | ||
| So look, it's not awesome for us by any means, but if you're able to make these people have a good time in Montreal during their lockdown, whatever that is, You know, why not? | ||
| Why not? | ||
| They had a massive protest up there recently. | ||
| Did they? | ||
| Yeah, the fucking streets were filled with people. | ||
| I think it was Montreal. | ||
| It might have been Toronto. | ||
| What was going on? | ||
| They're sick of it. | ||
| They're sick of being locked in. | ||
| They're like, it doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Man, it's so unnatural. | ||
| It really is such a thing, right? | ||
| Well, I think it's in Ottawa where you have to have papers to show that there's a need for you to be outside the house. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's that bad? | ||
| Yeah, like you have to show some reason why you're driving somewhere. | ||
| God, so weird. | ||
| We can't slip back. | ||
| We just gotta go forward. | ||
| But this is the thing with the United States versus Canada. | ||
| Like, they don't have the same laws we have. | ||
| They don't have the same rights that we have. | ||
| They don't have the First Amendment. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, they don't have freedom of speech. | ||
| It's not like an amendment the way we have. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| They have human rights councils. | ||
| That's why people get sued for jokes up there. | ||
| That's like Mike Ward got sued for doing a joke up there. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Someone in the audience sued them and won, right? | ||
| I think that's a different one. | ||
| Mike Ward got sued because he made a joke about a kid that was sick, and then the kid was still alive a couple years later, and he made a joke about it. | ||
| And, you know, just typical dark comedy, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, yeah. | |
| But the one who got sued because it was an audience member was somebody in Vancouver. | ||
| There was some people that were heckling, and he went after the hecklers. | ||
| I guess it was a lesbian couple, and, you know, he said some nasty shit to them. | ||
| He got sued and lost. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Geez, that's scary. | ||
| They don't have the same rules that we have up there. | ||
| It's just a different place. | ||
| You have to recognize that. | ||
| It seems like it's America, but it's not. | ||
| I mean, that's why they're still locked down like this, where it doesn't make any sense. | ||
| You saw the thing where they sent 200 cops to shut down a church? | ||
| No. | ||
| You never saw that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Bro, it's the nuttiest shit you've ever seen. | ||
| They had cops in SWAT gear to shut down a church. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| 200 of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Like, what are you doing, Canada? | ||
| Yeah, get it together. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| It really just threw... | ||
| It's not natural. | ||
| It's just like... | ||
| You can't put your boot on people's neck like that for too long. | ||
| It's just not natural. | ||
| You just watch with your kids. | ||
| Not being able to go out and do stuff. | ||
| I just want to go back to Joe Beef in Montreal. | ||
| You turned me on to that place. | ||
| Maybe they're open up a little bit. | ||
| Man, that place. | ||
| That place is sensational. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Shout out to Fred and David. | ||
| Yeah, holy cow. | ||
| That place is amazing. | ||
| I love that joint. | ||
| Those guys are artists, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like legitimate, genuine artists. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I don't understand how you can be an artist like that and keep the consistency, like, for all those people that are showing up every night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's like Chris Bianco in Arizona, a pizza artisan. | ||
| And it's just, everyone is, like, he's worked on it for a month. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like if I can make that bread and make it really well and put my heart and soul, great. | ||
| That's like one loaf of bread. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now you have to make a thousand of those and have that same thing. | ||
| But I really do think that it comes because those people care so much that I know it sounds corny, but like the love comes into that process. | ||
| It's not corny. | ||
| That's really what it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can tell when you walk into a place that, oh, there's an owner involved here who really cares. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Joe Beef's a perfect example of that. | ||
| I was introduced to those guys through Bourdain, and he was adamant that I had to meet them. | ||
| He was like, you got to meet these guys. | ||
| Really? | ||
| This place is incredible. | ||
| He's like, they just do it the right way. | ||
| And then you go there and you go, oh, okay, I get it. | ||
| And it's not a big place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, it's like the perfect size. | ||
| You ever sit up where it's kind of open in the back, like by that grill? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Oh, that's a great seat. | ||
| The staff there is incredible. | ||
| Everybody's like, they recognize that they're working in a special place. | ||
| Yeah, so good. | ||
| I love it so much. | ||
| It really... | ||
| Just those, like, you remember those meals, like, forever. | ||
| Like, you really, like, it's, some of those places stick. | ||
| You were eating every day, but when you go to a place like that, and you're just like, man, oh man. | ||
| So if you go up there right now, you have to go to a hotel for 14 days before you can go wandering around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 14 days. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| And like serious shit. | ||
| Like you can't mess around with it. | ||
| So dumb. | ||
| I know. | ||
| 14 days. | ||
| I wonder what they're going to do when America fully opens up. | ||
| When America, like in the summer, when everything's just 100% opened up. | ||
| That's what I keep wondering. | ||
| Like June 15th in California, it's supposed to be- That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what does that mean? | ||
| So I just- But how is that, June 15th? | ||
| How about right now, bitch? | ||
| Well, that's what I was saying about the car wash. | ||
| It was like, what are we doing? | ||
| Well, people who have been vaccinated still get COVID. Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they don't get as sick. | ||
| Some of them have died. | ||
| Yeah, that's like two. | ||
| No, it's more than two. | ||
| Three? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We could find out how many. | ||
| But the idea is that what's odd is that they're calling those breakthrough cases, and they're only counting the ones that are hospitalized or dead. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| And they're calling the people that died, most of them dying with COVID, not from COVID, because they have some sort of comorbidity. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| But the problem is that's not the way they counted the COVID deaths before vaccination. | ||
| Before vaccination, they counted you dying from COVID, even if you had comorbidities. | ||
| And now I think the average amount of comorbidities is like four. | ||
| Four comorbidities if people died with COVID. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But the number of people that died just from COVID was only 6%. | ||
| So 94% died from something else and COVID. But they called it COVID. Now they're calling it a different thing. | ||
| So now if you're dying and you've been vaccinated, you've died with COVID. But it wasn't the COVID that got you. | ||
| It was cancer, diabetes, whatever it is. | ||
| But it's an interesting way. | ||
| It's an interesting distinction of how they're deciding to... | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| What's so puzzling, and I think it was so unsettling about it, was how almost everybody got their own version of it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I had a friend that got it in New York, and once a month, she can't get out of bed. | ||
| For two days. | ||
| Still. | ||
| I have another friend in California who got it pretty mild, lost sense of taste and smell. | ||
| Still doesn't have it back. | ||
| How long ago? | ||
| A year. | ||
| Over a year. | ||
| Everything tastes like tin and coffee. | ||
| Our beautiful, sweet, sweet elixir is like rubber, like burnt rubber. | ||
| There's something about the process of... | ||
| I had someone on my podcast talking about it. | ||
| She's a food expert. | ||
| There's a thing when coffee gets heated up, when the bean gets heated up and it has that aroma that pops from it. | ||
| That's a process. | ||
| And it's the same thing with meat. | ||
| Oh, is that coffee right there? | ||
| Could you imagine if you got up and this sweet coffee tasted like rubber? | ||
| Smelled like was repulsive to you? | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| Cheers, Joe. | ||
| Good to see you. | ||
| I'm very happy to see you. | ||
| Good to see you, too, buddy. | ||
| In all honesty, there's something strange about you not being out there. | ||
| Not for me. | ||
| Because, I mean, we would run into each other, you know, not every day, but there's just something about knowing that your friend's nearby. | ||
| I do feel that. | ||
| Like, I ran into Eric Griffin last night. | ||
| Eric Griffin came by the Creek in the Caribbean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| It was like, ah, it was a big old love fest. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It's like, I mean, we move around so much that it shouldn't be a big deal, but I don't know. | ||
| It's a big deal. | ||
| I just miss having you around. | ||
| It's a big deal. | ||
| I miss it, but I just don't miss living in California. | ||
| I don't miss the amount of people. | ||
| I don't miss the traffic. | ||
| I don't miss the tension. | ||
| I don't miss the anxiety. | ||
| I don't miss the way the states run. | ||
| I don't miss the attitudes. | ||
| There's a different vibe out here. | ||
| People are just much friendlier. | ||
| There definitely is. | ||
| I mean, look, those changes are real. | ||
| I have a friend that moved from—an ex-brother-in-law who I ran into, I was doing shows in North Carolina last week, and he moved down there from New Jersey. | ||
| And New Jersey has a very L.A. feel to it. | ||
| It's packed with people. | ||
| There's a lot of— Angry drivers, a lot of tension, all those things you're mentioning. | ||
| And he looked great. | ||
| He was like, man, I have been so stress-free since moving to Raleigh, North Carolina. | ||
| He goes, I can't tell you. | ||
| It's just the stress is gone. | ||
| It's a real thing. | ||
| It's a real thing. | ||
| And you've done a thing where you made us all think about it when we're there. | ||
| Like, it definitely is on my mind because we talk a lot about, you know, and I think you've made a great move and you definitely have given us an alternative to, like, put all that stuff against, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's still great things. | ||
| I still love California. | ||
| There's still a lot of great, you know, I love being by the ocean. | ||
| I love all that kind of stuff. | ||
| You're a glass-half-full kind of guy. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I could be that way in Omaha. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Especially when my family's around. | ||
| The greatest thing about California is the Comedy Store. | ||
| That's the greatest thing for me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, my friends for sure, but my friends and most of my best friends were in comedy. | ||
| Yeah, all of them. | ||
| So we would all go to the comedy store. | ||
| Joey Diaz moved to New Jersey. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Ari moved to New York a long time ago. | ||
| Tony's out here with me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Tim Dillon's out here. | ||
| Tim's here now? | ||
| Yep, Tim's here. | ||
| Tom Segura's out here now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It is... | ||
| I don't know if it's just in our heads, but it feels... | ||
| I mean, it's also... | ||
| The store is a little different anyway, because it's still, like, limited capacity and stuff. | ||
| But, yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I think having you guys not be there, you can feel it a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can feel it. | ||
| I mean, I love everybody that's there, and there's some people I didn't really know who I'm seeing more often that is exciting. | ||
| Like, it's all good. | ||
| It's all great. | ||
| And, you know, you guys will pop in all the time, I'm sure. | ||
| But it's just the day-to-day. | ||
| It'd be like going to the Comedy Cellar and having all of a sudden Colin and Norton are not there anymore. | ||
| It feels like a different place. | ||
| Yeah, I used to so look forward to going to that back bar and just hang in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just open up the door. | ||
| Who's there? | ||
| Tom Papa! | ||
| What's up? | ||
| It was just a great vibe of being there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But one of the things that this move taught me was that it's like wherever you are is where you are. | ||
| It's your home. | ||
| Wherever you are is where whatever you decide your base is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You set up your life and that's how you live. | ||
| And if you can live in a place with less extraneous factors that are fucking with you in terms of traffic and noise and pollution, the air here is so much clearer. | ||
| It's so much cleaner. | ||
| You don't deal with the kind of pollution that you dealt with in LA. And it's an illusion in LA. You see sun and palm trees and you think, this is so great. | ||
| When we have friends over, we have like a little back patio, excuse me, and we have to wipe it down every day. | ||
| And I'm telling you, when we wipe it down, like it is a black residue on our rag. | ||
| Break dust and pollution. | ||
| Just that's in the air. | ||
| You're breathing that shit in every day. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| And it lowers your life expectancy by about 10 years. | ||
| Ten? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on. | |
| They say people that live in crowded, congested cities like Los Angeles have a life expectancy that's about ten years less. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Same for New York? | ||
| Young Jamie. | ||
| That's a lot of years. | ||
| You don't trust me? | ||
| I trust you. | ||
| I trust you, but I don't want to believe you. | ||
| Ten's a lot. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that's what I read. | ||
| So people in New York City are dying ten years? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if they would have made it to 80, they only make it to 70. Are we going to be around long enough? | ||
| I was talking to Duncan about this yesterday. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| Hey, man! | ||
| Man, I'm telling you, what this vaccine has showed us is that there's a new way to go in and mess with our DNA. And we're going to be able to... | ||
| We're so close, man, to the singularity. | ||
| We're going to live to 150 for sure. | ||
| Is that what he's saying? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Have you seen all the wackadoos that think that the government is putting chips in your arm because magnets will stick to the vaccine sites? | ||
| Wait, say that again. | ||
| There's literally hours of videos online of people putting a magnet on the site where they got vaccinated to get the magnet to stick, thinking that there's a microchip inside of the vaccine. | ||
| Oh, it's so brilliant. | ||
| It's so crazy, but there's so many videos, man. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| And you're like, is everybody trolling? | ||
| Like, what is going on? | ||
| Yeah, the whole... | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| What did I ask you to look up? | ||
| I found contradictory information. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Children born in Los Angeles County today can expect to live more than 82 years, which is longer than the average American. | ||
| Yeah, but that's not what the question was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Keep going. | |
| The question is, there was a study that showed that people that live in high... | ||
| Population, polluted cities have a life expectancy of 10 years less. | ||
| Yeah, but non-specifically. | ||
| The problem with LA that may balance it out is Los Angeles people are particularly athletic, or rather exercise-oriented. | ||
| Health conscious, eating their oat milks. | ||
| That shit ain't good for you. | ||
| Three years, it says. | ||
| Breathing polluted air shortens people's lives by an average of three years a new study finds. | ||
| Yeah, that makes more sense. | ||
| Ten's a big thing. | ||
| Okay, yeah, I fucked it up. | ||
| But that doesn't mean three. | ||
| How can you tell three? | ||
| Just think about how many people go down quick because it's trash. | ||
| And how do you measure those things when the pollution levels have changed so much within those people's lifetimes? | ||
| What I'm saying is stress. | ||
| If you live in a city that's a high-population city... | ||
| Look, for us... | ||
| We live probably a much nicer version of LA than a lot of people. | ||
| Oh yeah, we don't have to get up in the morning and cut through the traffic every day. | ||
| Holy cow, going down that four or five every single day to go do your thing. | ||
| I used to take my convertible to the store and sometimes I get caught in traffic in the Corvette and I would be dizzy by the time I got to the store because I'd be just breathing fumes. | ||
| My sinuses would be all messed up. | ||
| Think about what you're doing if you're in a convertible. | ||
| You're sitting on the 405 and everybody's just burning gas. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And it's worse than a motorcycle because you can zoom through everybody on the bike, but in a car you're just stuck there. | ||
| You're just sitting there sniffing people's burnt gas. | ||
| The convertible is a dumb idea in LA. I had one too. | ||
| And it's also so goddamn hot that the amount of days you can put the roof down, you're just sitting there baking on the 405. You know what I used to love it? | ||
| I used to love it driving to the store in the winter at night because it would be cold. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| And it would be like, by the time I get there, I was alive. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I like that car because it doesn't have any entertainment. | ||
| The only entertainment is the car itself. | ||
| There's no radio in it. | ||
| What year? | ||
| 65. 65. Do they have belts? | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| Let's stop fucking around. | ||
| You get in an accident and that fucking piece of plastic is literally made out of plastic. | ||
| It's a fiberglass car. | ||
| I have a Volkswagen, a 67 Volkswagen, and it just has a lap belt. | ||
| Ooh, yeah. | ||
| That's what my Corvette has. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a joke. | ||
| Should you put in... | ||
| I always think, like, I should just put in a seatbelt. | ||
| Like, why can't I put... | ||
| Three-point harness? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then Leno... | ||
| I did Leno's show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eh, anyway, you bet. | |
| Well, your time's up, your time's up. | ||
| You say, oh, you got the Volkswagen. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| He said this to me in the break. | ||
| Like, in the break of his show. | ||
| He goes, hey, you got a Volkswagen? | ||
| I was like... | ||
| Excited to talk car with him. | ||
| This was one of the first times I was on. | ||
| And I was like, oh yeah, I got a 67 Volkswagen. | ||
| Thinking in my head, he's going to think I'm cool. | ||
| He's like, yeah, those things are death traps. | ||
| You know, the whole gas tank is right in your lap. | ||
| You get hit in that thing. | ||
| Goodbye. | ||
| All right, welcome back. | ||
| We got Tom Poppe here. | ||
| He's talking about his new show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't think he'd be into Volkswagens anyway. | ||
| He's into like big loud things. | ||
| He's got everything. | ||
| He's got everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| That place is amazing, isn't it? | ||
| Oh my god, it's incredible. | ||
| Isn't it amazing too that this really speaks to doing something that you're really passionate about because although he was obviously a very good host of The Tonight Show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Tonight Show is not representative of the real Jay Leno. | ||
| The real Jay Leno you meet when you do his car show. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Messing around. | ||
| I did Jay Leno's garage with my Corvette. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| And he and I were talking, and the passion that he has for these cars is so contagious. | ||
| And he's talking about suspensions and the fucking steering... | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| He just had a good smile on his face. | ||
| Oh, is that the... | ||
| It's like a jet car. | ||
| Begin with a B, right? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Look at the smile, though. | ||
| That is as real a smile as a human being has ever smiled. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| He is so happy. | ||
| He fucking loves cars, man. | ||
| He does. | ||
| So when he's doing that show... | ||
| Bugatti? | ||
| Is it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Maybe like an old school... | ||
| Tank car. | ||
| Tank car. | ||
| Turboed up for 1,600 horsepower. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Reggie Watts sent me this fucking car. | ||
| Dude, you want to see something wild? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's a... | ||
| A drag race between this car and this new electric car. | ||
| And there's a drag race between that new electric car and a Ferrari. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, let me tell you. | ||
| I'll just send this to you, Jamie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the actual YouTube video itself. | |
| The Rimac Navara? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to send you the... | ||
| I got it. | ||
| Oh, you got the drag race ready? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, yeah, this is it. | ||
| So it's Car Wow, that's the show. | ||
| Car Wow. | ||
| And in this, these crazy assholes take this, there's this new insane, I don't know who makes that. | ||
| Is it a small boutique company? | ||
| But it goes up against the newest, dopest Ferrari, and when I mean it buries this fucking thing. | ||
| Like, watch this. | ||
| The Rumac-Nivera. | ||
| It's going to be right around there. | ||
| They're going to do the 3, 2, 1, go. | ||
| So, watch this. | ||
| Watch how fast this thing buries the Ferrari. | ||
| Like, goodbye. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| That's the fastest Ferrari, and it literally gets left in the dust. | ||
| It looks like a Prius. | ||
| And it leaves it in the dust. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And it looks like a Ferrari, too. | ||
| I mean, it looks like a McLaren or some, you know, similar supercar. | ||
| That's electric? | ||
| That's all electric? | ||
| Yeah, it says new Drag Race world record. | ||
| But that Drag Race world record from June 1st, 2021, I don't think that's the world record anymore. | ||
| I think the Tesla Model S Plaid just beat that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah, because the Tesla Model S Plaid just got the fastest ever quarter mile time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| A fucking family sedan. | ||
| What's the Plaid? | ||
| I don't know the Plaid. | ||
| The Plaid is the newest version of it that has five engines and it's... | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Five engines or three engines? | ||
| What does it have? | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| Something. | ||
| Three? | ||
| I want to say three. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe three. | ||
| Maybe mine has two and this one has three. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it has zero to 60. Ready? | ||
| 1.9 seconds. | ||
| 1.9? | ||
| 1.9 seconds. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| 060 for a family car. | ||
| It's like a sedan. | ||
| Yeah, that's IMBS. Yeah, it's fucking incredible. | ||
| Super comfortable, four-door, rocket sled, spaceship. | ||
| Holy cow. | ||
| The term plaid is a play off of Spaceballs. | ||
| It's from the movie Spaceballs. | ||
| He loves Spaceballs. | ||
| He really loves Spaceballs. | ||
| That guy's the best. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| How many fucking people are like him? | ||
| Do you know he made his rocket? | ||
| He shaped his rocket closer to the rocket on Spaceballs. | ||
| He literally made it less aerodynamic because he wanted it to look like the rocket from Spaceballs. | ||
| You gotta have fun! | ||
| You gotta enjoy yourself! | ||
| Do you know how much that car costs? | ||
| Let me guess. | ||
| Guess. | ||
| $900,000. | ||
| No. | ||
| Way more. | ||
| What? | ||
| Way more. | ||
| Way more. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Two million dollars. | ||
| Way more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Come on. | ||
| How much did that car cost? | ||
| 2.45 million dollars. | ||
| Because they made only two of them? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That seems a bit excessive. | ||
| Yeah, I was thinking about it at 1.5, but... | ||
| That seems a little excessive. | ||
| Maybe this was for the prototype. | ||
| It doesn't say, though. | ||
| It just says that's how much this could. | ||
| It says 2.45 Rimac Nevera electric hypercar, but it ran a quarter mile in 8.6 seconds, so that's why it doesn't make sense. | ||
| Well, it's probably handmade. | ||
| Handmade. | ||
| It's probably one of those. | ||
| Four motors, 1,900 horsepower. | ||
| 1,900 horsepower. | ||
| Jeez Louise. | ||
| What in the fuck? | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| It's so weird, man. | ||
| It used to be back in the day that if you had 400 horsepower, it was a lot. | ||
| I have the SpaceX app on my phone. | ||
| Do you have that? | ||
| No. | ||
| You got to download it. | ||
| What does it do? | ||
| It gives you an alert. | ||
| Every time they're launching? | ||
| Every time they're launching. | ||
| And you can watch? | ||
| And you can watch. | ||
| And it is the coolest thing because this is exactly what you wanted space travel to be. | ||
| They literally show you like... | ||
| And they don't waste time. | ||
| It's just so efficient. | ||
| They'll key you in with 10 minutes to go. | ||
| And there's a smart... | ||
| Duo who look attractive and they're just giving you all the information and they've got the whole live feed of the thing getting ready to launch and they're just so smart. | ||
| They're just telling you all this great information and it just all looks like the future. | ||
| It doesn't look like the old NASA. It seems like current. | ||
| And then you get to watch this liftoff or like when the guys were coming back from the space station. | ||
| I got home after being out with some friends. | ||
| I'm a little drunk. | ||
| I'm in my bed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bling! | |
| SpaceX. | ||
| And you show these guys coming back and landing and watch the whole thing of how they get the spacecraft onto the boat and the... | ||
| Right there in the palm of your hand. | ||
| It's like, this guy's the coolest! | ||
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| It's so great! | ||
| Is it available for Android, too, or just for iPhones? | ||
| I'm sure it's available for everybody, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing's not. | |
| No? | ||
| Nothing's not. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Does Elon not like Android? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I bet it's for everybody. | ||
| He's the people, Space Company. | ||
| Would you go? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| You want to go? | ||
| Go blast off? | ||
| Oh, no, no. | ||
| I'll go watch. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I thought you meant go watch. | ||
| Would you do one of the space tourism things, go up, loop around the planet a couple times? | ||
| No, legitimately, if it did get safe to the point where they do on a regular basis, like plane travel, yeah, I would go. | ||
| I think just for the perspective. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I remember going to Hawaii and going to the Keck Observatory and seeing the Milky Way and seeing how clear the stars were. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That adjusted my perspective. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because it was so radical, so bright. | ||
| The stars were so incredibly vivid. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| The Milky Way's so clear. | ||
| I remember thinking like, oh my God, this is up here all the time and we never see it. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| Light pollution fucks us so bad. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So bad. | ||
| This amazing vision of the heavens is available, and it's so awe-inspiring. | ||
| You see it, like... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Can anyone do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Anybody! | ||
| You can just travel up there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, you go to the observatory. | ||
| You don't even have to go to the top where the observatory is. | ||
| You go to the visitor center, and they have satellites or, excuse me, telescopes set up out there. | ||
| But you don't even have to use the telescopes. | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| It's just so dark. | ||
| You just look up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| That is literally what it looks like. | ||
| We never see that. | ||
| We never see that. | ||
| But you want to do it. | ||
| You want to make sure it's with, what is it, a new moon is what they call it when it's dark? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You want to go up there when the moon is not out. | ||
| Which island is that? | ||
| That's the big island. | ||
| I went up there and I fucked up and I went up there. | ||
| The first time I went up there, I went up there with my family a long time ago. | ||
| We went up there and it's amazing. | ||
| And then we went up there a second time years later and unfortunately we caught it while the moon was out. | ||
| I didn't think. | ||
| I was like, oh, this blows. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what it was like. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| This eats shit. | ||
| I can't believe I travel up here to look at the fucking moon. | ||
| I see the moon all the time. | ||
| The only thing I see is the moon. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It just dulls out the rest. | ||
| But when the moon is not out, it's spectacular. | ||
| Because you drive through the clouds. | ||
| When we were driving, we hit cloud cover, and I was like, oh, fuck, there's clouds. | ||
| We're not going to be able to see anything. | ||
| But you keep driving, and all of a sudden, poop! | ||
| You pop through the clouds and you're like, oh my god, this is above the clouds. | ||
| And then you keep going and then you make it to the observatory. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It is amazing how much light, what do they call it? | ||
| Light pollution? | ||
| Light pollution, yeah. | ||
| It's how brutal it is. | ||
| Like anytime you see like, oh there's going to be a new thing or this comet's coming through and you're like, I can't see it here. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not good for us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think it fucks with people's perceptions of what life really is, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So would you go? | ||
| Like, would you go up there and a couple loops around? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Are we going together? | ||
| Are you trying to talk me into something, Tom Papa? | ||
| I'm thinking about it. | ||
| Do you want to go? | ||
| Do you have a loyalty to Elon Musk? | ||
| I'd probably throw up. | ||
| What if Jeff Bezos offered trips first? | ||
| Would you go with him? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Would you? | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| He has our best interest at heart, doesn't he? | ||
| Some company bought 15 of those. | ||
| We were just talking about the supersonic jets to go three hours across Newark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Three hours where? | ||
| Newark to London. | ||
| Oh, like the Concorde kind of thing? | ||
| The new supersonic jets can do four hours to any spot on the planet. | ||
| Four hours? | ||
| Four hours. | ||
| Four hours to anywhere you want to go. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| You want to go to Mongolia? | ||
| Four hours. | ||
| You want to go to Russia? | ||
| Four hours. | ||
| Does it look like the Concorde? | ||
| They look pretty dope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| They don't have the pointy downward nose thing. | ||
| That was cool. | ||
| It was pretty cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they look pretty dope. | ||
| And they're starting to develop them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Starting to... | ||
| I think different airlines are going to start offering them up. | ||
| So what if it just went higher instead of to somewhere and just came back and you got to see space? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You get to leave the Earth for a bit. | ||
| It's kind of cool. | ||
| I mean, kind of cool. | ||
| Yeah, real cool. | ||
| Real cool. | ||
| When does space start? | ||
| Like, technically. | ||
| Technically we're in it. | ||
| That's deep. | ||
| I don't know, there's a lot of airs and clouds in the way. | ||
| You gotta break through the atmosphere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's like, I want to say it's like 90,000 feet. | ||
| Yeah, it's not that high, right? | ||
| Because when I look at my SpaceX app, it seems like they do it pretty quick. | ||
| I think you want to go into the upper atmosphere. | ||
| That's where... | ||
| Technically, okay, so it says U.S. military and NASA to find space differently. | ||
| According to them, space starts 12 miles below the Karman line at 50 miles above Earth's surface. | ||
| That's... | ||
| Pretty fucking far. | ||
| That's pretty fucking far. | ||
| So a mile is 5,000 feet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's a lot. | ||
| Yeah, but you're there pretty quick because you've got a rocket. | ||
| Look at who you're selling. | ||
| He's like a COVID salesman. | ||
| He's a rocket salesman. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| He's not worried about Lyme disease. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It makes me comfortable that they did it and released it. | |
| I feel good about it. | ||
| 60 miles? | ||
| Somewhere between 50 and 60 miles, yeah. | ||
| What else did they do on Plum Island? | ||
| I don't know if that's the line here. | ||
| So what is that, 35,000 feet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, 350. 350,000 feet, duh. | |
| 350,000 feet. | ||
| So, 350,000 feet, and the really high planes go to what? | ||
| 40,000 feet? | ||
| Like 40. Is that 40 or 50? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 40 is high. | ||
| One of those UAP things I saw that said they went over above 200,000 feet and they couldn't track it anymore, and I was like, how high is that? | ||
| God. | ||
| My ears would definitely pop on that flight. | ||
| So, what is that right there we're looking at? | ||
| It says... | ||
| How high is that? | ||
| It doesn't say here. | ||
| It just looks pretty. | ||
| It comes up when I Google it. | ||
| So that is like probably the edge of space. | ||
| So that's like where some of those trips will take you. | ||
| So you're really high up and you get this amazing view of Earth from above. | ||
| But you don't have to do re-entry. | ||
| I was thinking of this because that guy just broke the record of falling without a parachute. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Super gnarly. | ||
| Imagine why. | ||
| What'd he do? | ||
| He'd fall into a net. | ||
| He literally fell from the edge of space into a net with no parachute. | ||
| Into a net? | ||
| A net. | ||
| How did he navigate that? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Well, he's got Lyme disease and COVID, so he's got superpowers. | ||
| Nothing's getting me. | ||
| And he only eats bread. | ||
| Nothing's getting me. | ||
| We can do it. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| He's a fucking crazy person. | ||
| He had oxygen for the beginning because you can't breathe up there. | ||
| And then at a certain point, there's just like a beep in his helmet that tells him, hey, you're halfway there. | ||
| And then another beep, get ready because ground's coming up. | ||
| Come on! | ||
| See, these four together, the problem is, if these people collide, and sometimes they do, it just rips their limbs apart. | ||
| Yeah, that wouldn't be so good. | ||
| It's like, you're going, you know, who knows how fucking fast. | ||
| Like, people have done that before while skydiving, collided into each other. | ||
| So he just keeps falling. | ||
| Everyone else is hitting their parachutes now. | ||
| Their parachutes are now. | ||
| He's still got 5,000 feet, I think, on his own. | ||
| And he has to... | ||
| How does he know? | ||
| What's he going to hit? | ||
| He's going to aim down to get to that spot. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| How they had a live camera feed off of his helmet, which is... | ||
| That's pretty gnarly technology, too. | ||
| So when he gets towards the bottom, he has to turn upside down so that he falls into it. | ||
| Watch this move. | ||
| It's a pretty slick move. | ||
| See it? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| And he only caught it on the edge, dude. | ||
| He caught it on the edge. | ||
| He did. | ||
| Like, he almost missed it. | ||
| That's insanity! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| How do you get past that head rush? | ||
| That's like those dudes that jerk off with a noose around their neck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, hey. | ||
| Calm down. | ||
| You're just reaching too high, buddy. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| You don't need this in your life. | ||
| I think you need it. | ||
| You don't need this. | ||
| You need love. | ||
| You need a hug. | ||
| You need to start a family. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| You need someone else to think about. | ||
| Yeah, I bet he doesn't have kids. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't seem like something you would do if you had kids. | ||
| No, no way. | ||
| Jump into a fucking net with no parachute and almost miss. | ||
| That's why I have kids, is just to say no to all crazy shit. | ||
| My friends are like, we want to go do this. | ||
| Nah, I'm a father. | ||
| It seems like that net could have been a little bigger. | ||
| Way bigger. | ||
| Wikipedia says he has one kid. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I mean, that seems like if there's a little wind... | ||
| What'd you say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was about to say something terrible. | |
| The same guy helped David Blaine with his stunt. | ||
| Oh, with the balloons? | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| That was nuts, too. | ||
| God, that's so crazy. | ||
| Fuck all that. | ||
| I don't need to jump from a plane. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't need to jump from a plane. | ||
| A train or a bus? | ||
| Or a bus. | ||
| Now we're a Dr. Seuss now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do not want green eggs and ham. | |
| But the space thing, it does intrigue me. | ||
| I do get kind of nauseous with travel sometimes. | ||
| Even in the car to the airport yesterday, looking down at my phone, I was like, oh boy. | ||
| Yeah, but that's just because you're looking at something while you're getting driven. | ||
| So I can go to space, just don't look at my phone when we're taking off. | ||
| Yeah, if you look at your phone, I almost threw up in the back of a car once because I was reading. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god, imagine. | ||
| You know, I get picked up in a town car and I hurl in the backseat because I'm trying to read. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's so unfortunate. | ||
| But sometimes you can. | ||
| Sometimes I look at my phone, no problem. | ||
| For a little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem is when things get bumpy, your brain gets disoriented and it's like, oh my God, this guy's sick. | ||
| He's not seeing things right. | ||
| Let's get rid of all the food because something he ate must have been poison. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| Your body is confused as to why you're looking at things, but everything's bouncing around, but yet you're not going anywhere. | ||
| You're sitting still. | ||
| Your body's like, oh, this guy's poisoned. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay, let's get rid of all the food. | ||
| Ugh, it's such an awful feeling. | ||
| Yeah, so your body's like, let's go, everybody out of the pool. | ||
| So when we were in our spaceship, not looking at something, we probably won't throw up. | ||
| One day, space travel is going to be something real, where you're going to be able to take a trip, just like you'd fly to New York, you could fly up in space, and it'll be cool. | ||
| Then, Tom Papa, you and I will do space shows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that would be the coolest! | |
| Imagine if you do a show on an actual spaceship. | ||
| Imagine if they have a stage set up. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| The fucking Comedy Store is a Comedy Store spaceship. | ||
| And then you gotta live stream it back to Earth. | ||
| Yeah, like you rent it out. | ||
| Like you rent out an event space. | ||
| You rent out a spaceship and you do like... | ||
| Like how many people are on a flight normally? | ||
| 300? | ||
| 200? | ||
| Plenty of people for a show. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Low ceilings. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Low ceilings. | ||
| All we need is good acoustics. | ||
| Good sound system. | ||
| Those people in the Southwest are telling jokes every day. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| They have songs. | ||
| Do you see how they're gonna not serve alcohol on Southwest America? | ||
| Oh, because they've been having brawls lately. | ||
| Because people are losing their shit. | ||
| What's going on, Tom Papa? | ||
| Why is everybody losing their shit? | ||
| Joe, I thought maybe we're going to come out of this isolation a little better and a little kinder and a little more grateful. | ||
| But I think the majority have just been snapped. | ||
| Well, I think a lot of people lost so much, it's hard for them to feel normal. | ||
| You know, so many people lost most of their savings, most of their job. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, how many people lost their jobs? | ||
| It's some crazy number of people that are unemployed, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And imagine if you're in the restaurant business. | ||
| You worked for 30 years to put together a restaurant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then all of a sudden... | ||
| You just have no job. | ||
| I don't know how Fred and David are doing up at Joe Beef, but I always say that my favorite restaurant is in Venice. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you ever been to Felix? | ||
| No. | ||
| It is sensational. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It is as good as a restaurant is. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| In Venice. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's Janet Zuccarini and Evan Funke. | ||
| Janet owns it, and Evan Funke is the head chef. | ||
| I've had them both on the podcast before. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Dude, the food there is so good. | ||
| What did you have? | ||
| I've had everything. | ||
| I've eaten there a ton of times, but it's perfect. | ||
| It is the perfect restaurant. | ||
| I'm not exaggerating. | ||
| Why? | ||
| First of all, handmade pasta. | ||
| It's sensational and you can watch them make it. | ||
| They have a pasta making room that's all glass. | ||
| So you watch like Evan or one of the master chefs there put together this pasta and it's this laborious process of folding it and rolling it and dusting it with flour and rolling it and they just do it over and over again. | ||
| You feel it in the food when you get it. | ||
| When you get a place, like the cacio de pepe, when you get a plate of that. | ||
| That's my dish. | ||
| Oh, it's so good. | ||
| There? | ||
| Dude, you're gonna be in heaven. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You gotta go. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They're open now. | ||
| I'm going. | ||
| I had a steak there. | ||
| Might be the best fucking steak I've ever had in my life. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Everything they do is perfect. | ||
| I mean, it is just... | ||
| And Evan is just a guy who is one of those head chefs that's just obsessed with doing everything perfect. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And, you know, he's, like, studied in Italy and, you know, and to talk to him about, like, his... | ||
| There's Evan right there. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Bad motherfucker, you. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He's such a good chef and such a good person. | ||
| I fucking love that guy. | ||
| I want to go. | ||
| You feel it in the food. | ||
| You completely do. | ||
| I'm telling you, anytime you visit these places, like when I tour around and you go to these bakeries that have been there forever, or that old restaurant that's been there forever, you feel it. | ||
| It's because of that person's passion. | ||
| It has everything to do with it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And also the deep knowledge of how to cook correctly and a respect for the old world style of cooking. | ||
| I mean, he goes to the fucking farmer's market and gets fresh produce and develops the menu based on what's available. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best. | |
| You know, it's just like, Jesus, you'd eat there and you're like, ah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I don't want to leave. | ||
| Yeah, you just wind up drinking too much wine and eating too much food. | ||
| The best. | ||
| It's so great. | ||
| When a restaurant gets it right like that, and then they are forced to shut down for the longest fucking time. | ||
| Well, that's, yeah, I know. | ||
| And they were forced to shut the outdoor dining. | ||
| They developed this whole outdoor dining space. | ||
| So when I was still living in L.A., you could go there outdoors. | ||
| And then they shut down the outdoor dining. | ||
| It's like, why? | ||
| Why are you saying outdoor dining is bad? | ||
| Oh, you're saying Venice, California? | ||
| Yes, Venice, California. | ||
| Oh, I thought you meant Venice, Venice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh. | ||
| It's on Abbott Kitty. | ||
| Oh, geez. | ||
| I can go there when I get back. | ||
| Good luck getting a reservation. | ||
| Well, I'm going to tell him I'm friends with Joe. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| How do you think I got into Joe Beef? | ||
| Joe Beef is another one of my favorite restaurants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Felix is... | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Felix is so good. | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| There's restaurants like that that they redefined what food is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because now you realize like, oh, this is basically an art gallery that you can eat. | ||
| Cacio Pepe is one of the dishes that I've tried to perfect because I try and just work on a couple things and get them as good as I can get them. | ||
| You know what you should do? | ||
| You should start making your own pasta. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| Because you make your own bread. | ||
| There's something about pasta that you buy that's fresh, like the way they cook it, where it just has this bite to it that's so satisfying. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's just like there's something to it that's different than a dry pasta. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But the dry pasta, it's pretty close. | ||
| Says the COVID salesman. | ||
| Look at this guy over here. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| How about Lyme disease? | ||
| Not bad. | ||
| Lyme disease makes me comfortable. | ||
| It's coming from a lab. | ||
| I said it was bad. | ||
| Well, I'd like to know the source. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It comes from a lab. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Makes me happy. | ||
| Plum Island. | ||
| Like, handmade pasta is better. | ||
| No, it is better. | ||
| It's better. | ||
| It is better. | ||
| It tastes better. | ||
| It feels better. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You chew it. | ||
| I took a class in Italy and learned how to make pasta, and I was like, when I get home, I'm going to do this every night. | ||
| You're already halfway there with the bread. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I mean, it seems like it's right up your alley to make your own. | ||
| My grandmother used to make pasta. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| My grandmother made everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| She made her sauce from tomatoes that grew in the garden. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| My grandfather would pick the tomatoes from the garden. | ||
| My grandmother would stew them. | ||
| In Jersey? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Make the sauce. | ||
| The sauce was all from scratch. | ||
| She would make all the pasta from scratch. | ||
| She had a table that was just a pasta-making table in her kitchen. | ||
| The best. | ||
| And she would have the roll-in pin, and she would make lasagna, and oh my god, it was insane. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| My nephews and I, my sister, my sister has this farm in New Jersey. | ||
| She has a non-profit called City Green where she feeds, grows vegetables and feeds Patterson, Passaic, all of these places and Learning Gardens, all this amazing, amazing non-profit work. | ||
| And the cool thing is that we get, cooler than helping people, is that we get all these tomatoes in August. | ||
| And last year we did it for the first time where we cooked down the tomatoes into sauce. | ||
| We had a giant thing. | ||
| We got the wooden stirrer and we just hung under the house like real Italians underneath the house all day and just cooked down all and then canned them all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| Must be so good, right? | ||
| Joe, it felt like without even... | ||
| We never saw our grandparents do this, but we know that they did. | ||
| It felt right that we were doing this, that we were doing this process of taking these plum tomatoes, making them into the sauce, canning it. | ||
| It was such a religious experience. | ||
| There's something so satisfying about that, right? | ||
| Putting in the effort and then getting that reward, like an artisan-created sauce. | ||
| Which is really just going back to the roots of it. | ||
| It's just going back to the most simple form of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it just takes all that other bullshit away and you're just left with the pure doing and the pure ingredients of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, it makes it so worth it. | ||
| It does. | ||
| And now we're going to do it again in August. | ||
| I literally set up the time to travel back with my family just around. | ||
| When the tomatoes will be done. | ||
| What is going on with New Jersey tomatoes? | ||
| Because they've always been known for their tomatoes. | ||
| They have the New Jersey beefsteak tomatoes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's like a darkness and a juiciness to those tomatoes. | ||
| Legendary. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Blueberries and tomatoes. | ||
| Oh, they have great blueberries, too? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But what is going on with the soil? | ||
| I don't know why that is. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I guess it's like anything. | ||
| It's like, why is wine great from a region? | ||
| It's a combination of all those things, of the way the wind comes through, the amount of sunlight that it gets, all that stuff. | ||
| I wonder if it's also like the seeds that they brought over. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| You know, because you've got to think Jersey was a particularly Italian area. | ||
| That's where my grandparents settled. | ||
| Yeah, mine too. | ||
| A lot of Italians came from Italy straight to Jersey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I wonder if they brought seeds with them. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet they weren't here until we showed up. | ||
| I just found out that someone in my family, like my great-grandfather, lived above Minetta Tavern right next to the Comedy Cellar. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My mother did a deep dive in the history and put together a book for all of us. | ||
| Literally, my great-grandfather was in a little apartment, probably with 10 people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And I'm downstairs performing at the Cellar all this time walking up that street, Minetta Lane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, isn't that cool? | ||
| When Fitzsimmons first moved to New York, he used to have an apartment that was right above that mafia social club. | ||
| On McDougal? | ||
| Yeah, that's where he had a place right there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In the heart of all that shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, he said he saw mobsters all the time. | ||
| Oh, that was like the 80s, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, no, I think when I- Early 90s? | ||
| Yeah, early 90s was when Fitzsimmons was living there. | ||
| Yeah, that was prime time, right? | ||
| That's when Giuliani was going after the mob and all that stuff was happening? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Fitzsimmons lived right in the heart of Little Italy. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| What fucking great restaurants down there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| Good Lord. | ||
| It's a shame. | ||
| It's really so small now. | ||
| Well, it's also a wreck now because of the pandemic. | ||
| I mean, who knows how many of them will never come back. | ||
| Yeah, but even before that, it used to be that whole area, and it was down to Mott Street and a couple little ancillary. | ||
| Giandusa is the pizza place there. | ||
| That one's doing really well. | ||
| That's a good spot. | ||
| Well, pizza's a good thing to take out. | ||
| The thing about a lot of the restaurants that have to-go food, it makes sense to order pizza to go. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| When was the last time you were back in New York? | ||
| Last week. | ||
| Oh, what'd you do? | ||
| Two weeks ago. | ||
| It was so great. | ||
| What'd you do? | ||
| Stand-up. | ||
| No, which place? | ||
| The Cellar. | ||
| And I did my radio show. | ||
| I have the SiriusXM Come to Papa show, which is like an old variety radio show, like with sketches and comedy and music and stuff. | ||
| And I've been doing it forever. | ||
| And I always do it at the Village Underground there as part of the Cellar. | ||
| Oh, you do like a live version? | ||
| A live version, yeah. | ||
| And I went to do it, just to do it, you know, like we were able to. | ||
| And like half capacity, probably a little more. | ||
| It felt great. | ||
| But literally the day I landed was when the CDC said, we don't need masks anymore. | ||
| So it was popping. | ||
| I stayed downtown and it was just, the sun was shining. | ||
| People were out. | ||
| They were just drinking and it just, you felt like this joy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my God. | ||
| Did you see that new wild park that New York City's created called the Island? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's really wild. | ||
| It's like a man-made park. | ||
| Where? | ||
| I think it's somewhere near one of the harbors, but it's this wild thing where it's on a platform. | ||
| You've got to see it to see what it is. | ||
| It's really strange. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Like you would imagine if you were on a spaceship and they created a park. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Like Elysium. | ||
| This is the park inside the spaceship. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| This giant mothership traveling with all the population through the galaxy. | ||
| Wow, that's so cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird looking. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| New York is weird, man. | ||
| I mean, the skyline from New Jersey is completely different. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| What is it doing that? | ||
| It's like concrete mushrooms. | ||
| Yeah, so that's what it looks like. | ||
| So it's a fake island. | ||
| It's like a skate park. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's suspended, though, in the water. | ||
| So the entire thing is made in the water. | ||
| And it varies. | ||
| The levels vary. | ||
| See how it's got different... | ||
| It's got hills. | ||
| Go back to it, please. | ||
| You see how it's all... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They made artificial varying heights of the ground. | ||
| They made it look like a real... | ||
| Park. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And if you look how small the people are there, you've got to get a sense. | ||
| Yeah, it's massive. | ||
| That is cool. | ||
| And that's open now? | ||
| Yeah, it just opened. | ||
| The city has changed so much so quickly. | ||
| Between the new buildings that went up, the skyline's completely different. | ||
| Looking from New Jersey, there's a whole other city on the west side. | ||
| And then when Bloomberg was in, they took away all of these access roads for cars. | ||
| They don't want cars on this island at all. | ||
| Which island? | ||
| Manhattan. | ||
| You don't want cars in New York City? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Dude, there's parts of Broadway that you can't drive on any longer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And that was before COVID. And now with COVID, there's all these outdoor dining places which they may keep. | ||
| There's no parking spaces. | ||
| The number of cars has gone down drastically. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, it's that kind of thing. | ||
| It's like they're trying to eco it up. | ||
| It's like a future city in a way. | ||
| Who owns the spot in front of a restaurant? | ||
| Is that public for the sidewalk? | ||
| Because it used to be, but then it stopped being the public for the sidewalk. | ||
| Then it became the restaurants because the restaurant needed space to stay open. | ||
| They made accommodations. | ||
| But now that things are going to go back to where you can eat indoors. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if they're going to keep those spaces or not. | ||
| They did that outside in front of the stand, too, didn't they? | ||
| Didn't they have shows outside on the street? | ||
| I don't know about the shows part. | ||
| How do you get people to pay tickets for that when you can just sit there just a few feet back? | ||
| You give them a soda. | ||
| I think they did that. | ||
| I think the stand did that. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| Because I'm pretty sure Ari sent me a picture of someone on stage. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's like they had this set up outside. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, like that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh, and like looking into the stand. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| And the stage is right there. | ||
| Kind of wild, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this is the thing. | ||
| It's like people find a way. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They use ingenuity. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They find a way to do it. | ||
| The store, but that store didn't have fucking shows. | ||
| That just was linked because it's a comedy outside. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They fucked us there. | ||
| That looks like the La Jolla one, yeah. | ||
| They fucked us there. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But the comedy store in the back parking lot, they're like, no, you don't have a license to do this. | ||
| Yeah, that seemed crazy. | ||
| It seemed like the perfect spot. | ||
| Over-regulation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's doomed California from, you know, from the beginning of time. | ||
| I know. | ||
| California is one of the most over-regulated cities or states. | ||
| It really is, I know. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's so beautiful, though. | ||
| Some parts of it. | ||
| There's a little view of the... | ||
| Venice Beach, not so much. | ||
| The street. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you could just stand there for sure. | ||
| Yeah, you totally could just be like, hey, I'm going to watch the show from over here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So now there's all of these, it feels like, I don't know, kind of like Venice, Italy in a way. | ||
| It's like there's all these outdoor places for seating and it'll be interesting to see, you know, the weather's not great there for most of the year, so maybe it will go away. | ||
| Tim Dillon told me the crime's off the hook. | ||
| He said it's crazy. | ||
| He said he was walking through Times Square and he said he felt like a victim. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He said it felt remarkably different. | ||
| There's a big difference between Midtown and Downtown. | ||
| Downtown, like in the village, bustling, young people, it felt like that was returned to normal, somewhat normal. | ||
| Go to Midtown and there's nobody there because they're still waiting on the return of the tourists and the return of the business people. | ||
| The offices aren't open. | ||
| That's crazy, right? | ||
| Until you tilt those numbers and bring all those people back... | ||
| What you're left with are the people that are roaming the streets, and it is dicey. | ||
| And there's some concern from a lot of people that that's never going to come back, because a lot of people like working remotely. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, people thrive being around other people, though. | ||
| There's a difference. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| It's a big difference. | ||
| I wonder where you're more productive. | ||
| Together, in an office, with people watching you. | ||
| In your home. | ||
| Your home's set up for fun and relaxation. | ||
| How many guys got caught jerking off to Zoom? | ||
| On Zoom calls, like, didn't know that their camera was still on and they pulled their dicks out. | ||
| Tubin, the Jeffrey Tubin guy. | ||
| I mean, you can't wait until you're done with this? | ||
| I know, men. | ||
| It's all men, right? | ||
| It's addiction. | ||
| It's pornography addiction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That's what it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pornography addiction is, it's so, not only is it so real, it's also, it's so taboo Because for whatever reason, there's shame in pleasuring yourself, and then there's shame in being caught pleasuring yourself, which must have been devastating for him. | ||
| Brutal. | ||
| And he's a legitimate journalist. | ||
| He's a really good journalist. | ||
| And fired for a mistake like that. | ||
| God. | ||
| And everyone's going to remember him for that one mistake. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's become like a verb. | ||
| I got caught tubing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't tubing it. | ||
| But multiple people... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's terrible. | |
| I love that guy. | ||
| He's an interesting guy to listen to. | ||
| He's just coming into all those political times. | ||
| How come you can't make a mistake? | ||
| I know. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Why are you firing the guy? | ||
| Do you think he's evil? | ||
| Is that why he beat off? | ||
| Who got hurt? | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| Who got hurt? | ||
| His feelings. | ||
| Well, his feelings. | ||
| Yeah, but that's all I'm saying. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Other than that, no one got hurt. | ||
| I mean, maybe some people saw it and laughed. | ||
| Yeah, but the reality of the rest of that experience is that it's just a guy beating off. | ||
| Just made a mistake. | ||
| And by the way, guys are doing that all across the country all day long. | ||
| And this is the thing you find out when you let a guy work from home. | ||
| Some people just can't, they can't resist that temptation. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's why we got to get back in the office. | ||
| Click on that Pornhub tab. | ||
| Any free time, guys are gonna fill up with something bad. | ||
| Well, Louis C.K. told me that that was one of the ways that he avoided any kind of distractions on his writing laptop. | ||
| He's like, his writing laptop literally can't connect to the internet. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| He doesn't allow it to connect to the internet. | ||
| So that's how he keeps from looking at porn, keeps from staring at car videos, getting distracted. | ||
| He only writes on that. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| Yeah, I never downloaded iTunes or any of that stuff onto my laptop that I write with. | ||
| But then it got to... | ||
| There was a tool that I needed to use to email and do whatever stuff. | ||
| Next thing you know, you're watching porn. | ||
| Yeah, it's so tempting to just watch YouTube videos, to just Google things, you know, just see what's going on in the world. | ||
| You gotta stop yourself. | ||
| What's happening in the news. | ||
| Picking up your phone, but more than the computer for me, like I can stay off of that stuff pretty easily, but having the phone next to me is the problem. | ||
| Picking that up and just going to check Instagram, and then you just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. | ||
| That thing is, I don't like. | ||
| Really, it's such a time suck. | ||
| It's a time suck, and then if you start reading comments and reading people's opinions about you, and then you get weirded out. | ||
| I stopped going to the Twitters. | ||
| I never read Twitter anymore for years. | ||
| Just stopped going to the feed for it. | ||
| It's a bunch of mentally unhealthy people throwing shit at each other. | ||
| It was so healthy to not do it. | ||
| When we were talking earlier about the people hating on people performing, I literally did not see it. | ||
| I'm not making it up. | ||
| I literally did not know it was happening until it was pointed out. | ||
| But Instagram, because it's a little more joyous, I think, seeing people's faces and seeing your friends performing and all that kind of stuff, I will scroll through that. | ||
| Yeah, Instagram's definitely more interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I thought it was dumb at first, because I thought, what, it's just pictures? | ||
| I want to see pictures? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I can see pictures anyway. | ||
| But then I realized, like, pictures with captions is actually kind of more indicative of, like, a person's thoughts than just the caption itself. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You had a funny one today with that artist thing. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| I sold a sculpture for, I think it was like $18,000. | ||
| An invisible sculpture. | ||
| Yeah, it's just nothing. | ||
| It's air. | ||
| You have to imagine what the sculpture is. | ||
| So when you buy it, do you put it in your car? | ||
| You have to get a car? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, here's the thing. | |
| How can you stop him from selling the exact same one to everybody? | ||
| It's invisible. | ||
| But the fact that it was an auction, that someone was so dumb. | ||
| How much did they pay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was it 18? | |
| 18 grand. | ||
| When I looked it up, though, to try to find the article about it, to be like, this can't be real, is it? | ||
| I've stumbled across an opinion piece about it on the advertising world saying that this happens in the advertising world all the time. | ||
| Like, people will pay a bunch of money, even at an auction type thing, for their ad to go out to X amount of viewers, they think, on a blog or a popular video or whatever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they'll see results that show... | ||
| This was viewed X amount of times, but they never know that that's an actual human. | ||
| They're being sold essentially the same thing as what this guy's article was sort of saying. | ||
| And I know that that's true, but I don't know that the artist is making a point on the advertising world. | ||
| He's just a scam artist. | ||
| Just a dirty, LACMA-style scam artist. | ||
| The LA County Museum of Arts. | ||
| You know that? | ||
| You ever go to LACMA? Yes. | ||
| You want to hurt somebody. | ||
| When you go there, you're like, what is this? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| When you see what they're calling art? | ||
| Yeah, one of them was a plexiglass box that was just sitting on the ground. | ||
| And I was just joking around. | ||
| And I said, yeah, that plexiglass, that's the art. | ||
| That's the whole thing. | ||
| It's like amazing. | ||
| Look what they did there. | ||
| I was joking. | ||
| And this woman said, actually, that is the art piece. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What are you saying? | ||
| That's not art. | ||
| It's a piece of plastic. | ||
| You don't get it. | ||
| That's what the problem is. | ||
| You don't get it. | ||
| You're not sophisticated in your taste of art. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But modern art, like one of the art pieces was like someone throwing a ball and then the other person catching it. | ||
| Just playing a loop of people throwing balls at each other. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| I know. | ||
| The art world is very... | ||
| But not the regular art world, like art art, like people's paintings and interesting shit. | ||
| I love that stuff. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I'm fascinated by that. | ||
| But it's these scam artists that sell invisible sculptures. | ||
| Like, you can eat shit, you fuck. | ||
| What do you got there? | ||
| This is the piece, I guess, on the guy's, the artist's Instagram. | ||
| Well, there's no piece. | ||
| It's a video playing. | ||
| Oh, it's a video of empty space? | ||
| It shows, yeah, there's like a chalk outline on the street. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| That's the piece. | ||
| That's the piece. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The sculpture I installed here. | ||
| That's the sculpture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| An empty lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut the fuck up. | |
| What about the person who bought it, though? | ||
| Like, who wanted to buy it? | ||
| Probably some crazy dude who has too much money. | ||
| Some oil baron. | ||
| I'll buy it! | ||
| Fuck you, I win the auction! | ||
| He's probably doing coke and just doing random auctions all day long. | ||
| We got 15, 15, 15, going 16, going 16, 16, 18! | ||
| Sold! | ||
| Johnny Fat Cigar. | ||
| Did you ever see that movie Uncut Gems? | ||
| Parts of it. | ||
| Half of it. | ||
| You didn't see the whole thing? | ||
| No, I got distracted and I never went back to it. | ||
| It's a fucking amazing movie. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| In it, there's a scam auction where he's got a buddy bidding for something to try to raise up the price. | ||
| Then he fucks up and wins. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| How great was that movie? | ||
| It was frantic. | ||
| As a person who really likes the NBA and is a little bit into gambling, I go, it's good. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| But they've built up some fucking drama that doesn't exist and can't exist. | ||
| Which kind of drama? | ||
| The bet he makes is a bet you cannot make. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Really? | ||
| That seems like a big oversight. | ||
| And at the end, he sends his girlfriend on an Uber Blade. | ||
| That didn't exist until like three years ago. | ||
| Uber Blade? | ||
| What's a Uber Blade? | ||
| The helicopter thing. | ||
| Oh, the helicopter Ubered to JFK? He sends her to a casino that doesn't have a sports book. | ||
| So like, there's a couple, but I'm like, sounds like a little nitpicky. | ||
| A little nitpicky, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, hey. | |
| Sounds like a little. | ||
| Sometimes it takes you out of the movie, though, when you're watching. | ||
| You're like, you can't even make this bet. | ||
| That was that Teddy Bergeron joke about the person that goes to the theater and watches Peter Pan. | ||
| He's on a wire! | ||
| He's on a wire! | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's no Santa Claus and he's on a wire. | |
| What a great joke. | ||
| When I was an open miker, I did my very first open mic night. | ||
| Jonathan Katz was the host. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And, you know, it was a bunch of scrubs like me. | ||
| And then Teddy Bergeron came on and did a set. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It made you just want to quit right there and then. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I was like, I'll never be as funny as that guy. | ||
| I did a lot of gigs with him, too. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I saw him when he came through the cellar probably in, like, 98, 99. Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was a little older, and he came through, and it was just that weird space. | ||
| You're in this little thing, and he was so different from everybody else, age-wise and performance-wise. | ||
| But there were just these moments that were just like... | ||
| It was like watching a lion, in a way. | ||
| He was kind of like... | ||
| Finding his way, and then you would see it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's where I got that joke from. | ||
| He's on a wire. | ||
| It would just all of a sudden explode. | ||
| He's on a wire! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That was his style. | ||
| He was such a brilliant guy, like a really intelligent guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And his comedy was so polished, so smooth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| That's where you get to see the different styles of delivery that different people have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, he was... | ||
| I always just went down a rabbit hole of Bernie Mac the other day. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| God! | ||
| He was a monster. | ||
| A monster. | ||
| The passion. | ||
| When he went on stage at Def Jam, he was like, I ain't afraid of you motherfuckers. | ||
| The best. | ||
| The best. | ||
| Everyone's bombing before him and the audience is rough. | ||
| I ain't afraid of you motherfuckers. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| When he went out there like that, everybody was like, oh, you feel the energy shift in the room. | ||
| He was energy. | ||
| The belief. | ||
| That was the real lesson. | ||
| You always have to relearn these lessons all the time, right? | ||
| And just that he was not up there being passive. | ||
| He was letting you know that what he was talking about right now is the most important thing in the world. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That thing. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Such a powerful thing. | ||
| Preacher confidence. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, like almost like he's talking about a religious thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When people have that kind of like Sam Kinison style delivery, that's just fucking dynamic, powerful delivery. | ||
| It's just so gripping. | ||
| It's so catchy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, you've got to... | ||
| I think there was a Kinnison quote, actually. | ||
| It was like, how can you expect the audience to give a shit if you don't? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Was that Hicks or Kinnison? | ||
| I think it was Kinnison. | ||
| Maybe him and Hicks shared... | ||
| I mean, they hung around together a lot. | ||
| I mean, it's something we should all be saying over and over again. | ||
| But you do see comics sometimes get up there and be like, meh. | ||
| And it's like, well, yeah. | ||
| What else? | ||
| What else? | ||
| What else is going on? | ||
| One of the things that taught me, that I learned rather from Boston, is people's attention spans are very precious. | ||
| You have to pay attention to people's attention spans. | ||
| You have to appreciate it. | ||
| Because in Boston, they don't have a lot of tolerance for meandering. | ||
| And all the comedians on the shows, like if you're dealing with a guy like a Lenny Clark or a Steve Sweeney, they're all rapid fire, real tight acts, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, punchlines coming at you. | ||
| Guns blazing. | ||
| Growing up in a place like that, you develop this sort of Bill Burr style, the Patrice O'Neill style. | ||
| There's a lot of guys that come. | ||
| Those guys are two Boston guys. | ||
| Nick DiPaolo. | ||
| Louis C.K. So many guys from that area. | ||
| Bobcat. | ||
| So many guys from that environment. | ||
| Then you get Stephen Wright and Jonathan Katz. | ||
| Yeah, very different. | ||
| Stephen Wright's the most different, right? | ||
| The most different. | ||
| But, in his own way, he's bringing that belief, that passion, that thing. | ||
| His cadence is so much slower than Bernie Mac. | ||
| But there's a slow burn to the intensity. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, it's a slow burn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there is an intensity. | ||
| Maybe that's the key word. | ||
| I always really admired people like him because his style is all non sequiturs like you can't feed off of something like you and I we can talk about something like say we talk about coffee we can just kind of go on about coffee and then lead it into wine and lead it into this and then you know there's so many different places you can take an idea but when you're just doing non sequiturs You know, I got a job at a place that makes fire hydrants. | ||
| You couldn't park anywhere near the joint. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That kind of... | ||
| That's your thing. | ||
| That's your mind. | ||
| Fire hydrant factory. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I fucked up. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Stephen Wright would do all non sequiturs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is kind of crazy. | ||
| Kind of crazy. | ||
| Who do we know who does that today? | ||
| Anthony. | ||
| Jesselnik. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but kind of. | ||
| But he kind of... | ||
| He stays in it. | ||
| It's all lines. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's all jokes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's always like dark, real dark stuff. | |
| Yeah, he has a twist on it, but it's still like he's not going to... | ||
| I've never seen Anthony just kind of like break off and just start... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He doesn't riff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But who else does completely non-related? | ||
| Mitch Hedberg did that. | ||
| Mitch Hedberg was complete non-sequiturs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I always think, how do they remember whether they told that joke yet? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Because every joke is like 30 seconds, and you have 150 of them. | ||
| How do you remember? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Yeah, it's a whole different thing. | ||
| Do you ever do three shows and you can't remember whether or not you've done that joke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's terrifying. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| Three shows are weird. | ||
| That's the weirdest. | ||
| That was like the goal was to never do three shows in a night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was brutal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No one wanted to be at that last show. | ||
| The audience didn't want to be there. | ||
| They were tired and drunk. | ||
| You were tired. | ||
| They fucked up and didn't get tickets for the 10 o'clock. | ||
| Yeah, it was terrible. | ||
| Midnight show. | ||
| So the midnight show, by the way, you don't go on stage until like 1240. Right, exactly. | ||
| It's almost 1 o'clock in the morning and you're getting on stage. | ||
| A nightmare. | ||
| Show us your tits! | ||
| A nightmare. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I'm here to make it. | ||
| Oh, the worst. | ||
| Just being in those lion dens. | ||
| That's why you had to go fast. | ||
| That's why you needed to keep going. | ||
| You needed to hammer. | ||
| Well, those late night shows on Friday night, too. | ||
| Those are the worst. | ||
| Because the people worked all day. | ||
| They worked all day. | ||
| They worked all week. | ||
| They got to the last day of the week. | ||
| They've been up since 6 in the morning. | ||
| And then they got drunken due to whatever they did. | ||
| Ate, drank, got high. | ||
| Before your show. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Nightmare. | ||
| A whole chicken. | ||
| And everyone did those shows for a long time. | ||
| I did them forever. | ||
| They don't exist anymore, I don't think. | ||
| Some places still have them. | ||
| Some places still do a midnight show. | ||
| Not many. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's only good for the guys selling the booze. | ||
| I forget who the last person asked me if they should do a midnight show. | ||
| And I said, well, I mean, look, it's money. | ||
| If you need the money, do it. | ||
| But I fucking hate those. | ||
| I don't think they're ever worth doing. | ||
| The worst. | ||
| And so they said, I'm going to do it. | ||
| And then they text me the next day. | ||
| You were right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucking terrible. | |
| I'm like, yeah, it's like you're dealing with the most tired, most drunk people. | ||
| Yeah, you just want to send people home at that hour. | ||
| That said, every now and then you'll have a midnight show and it's fucking fire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Every now and then. | ||
| Every now and then you'll have a late night show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Some of those late night shows at the store are fucking incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| Can't go that long. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You can't go that long. | ||
| No, you can't drag it out. | ||
| You have to be conscious of how much they've got left in the tank, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's going to be... | ||
| That's why when I see those guys, like when Dane and Chappelle and all those guys were doing like five-hour sets, they were like breaking the Guinness Book of World Records. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I think Dane broke the record, but I think somebody broke it and went like 24 hours on stage. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I wonder if they peed. | ||
| Yeah, good question. | ||
| I bet there was pee breaks. | ||
| Maybe have a water jug. | ||
| Just turn. | ||
| Like a trucker. | ||
| Yeah, like a large gallon, 40 hours and eight minutes. | ||
| For stand-up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| When was this? | ||
| April 30th, 2013, United States. | ||
| How much of that is real comedy? | ||
| A guy named the Midnight Swinger, David Scott, at the Diamond Joke Casino in Dubuque, Iowa. | ||
| His name is The Midnight Swinger. | ||
| Go for it. | ||
| And he was on stage for 40 hours. | ||
| Let me see what he looks like. | ||
| Let me see what he looks like. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like his tie. | ||
| He looks like he's got energy. | ||
| He looks like he might be funny. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| So he holds the world record. | ||
| Doesn't have any information about it. | ||
| I was going to look that up next. | ||
| Well, Google his name. | ||
| David Scott. | ||
| By an individual. | ||
| I'm sure he has a website. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm sure he's got a different David Scott. | ||
| It's a congressman. | ||
| Comedy. | ||
| Mr. Showtime. | ||
| It's like you want to see his set. | ||
| I think he's wearing mascara. | ||
| What's he got going on? | ||
| Is it the same guy? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think it's the same guy. | ||
| Is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| He's got a crazy haircut. | ||
| That looks like an older Tim Minchin. | ||
| That looks like one of my mom's friends. | ||
| Yeah, you don't... | ||
| Does it seem like the same guy? | ||
| It doesn't, though, does it? | ||
| Just with different hair. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's just a different look. | ||
| I mean, that was... | ||
| So that picture's 2013. It's eight years later. | ||
| You could have long hair now. | ||
| I have long hair. | ||
| And he's still cranking. | ||
| Could be his COVID hair. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Yeah, but how much of that is comedy at that point? | ||
| You're just kind of standing up. | ||
| You're just in a place. | ||
| He's got the world record. | ||
| Big news. | ||
| Must watch. | ||
| Go back. | ||
| He just happened to be in a comedy club. | ||
| Go back? | ||
| I can't. | ||
| You can't? | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's like Facebook. | ||
| Wacky Facebook interface. | ||
| You wackadoo. | ||
| But it was cool being at the cellar again. | ||
| They were cranking out shows. | ||
| All the comics were there. | ||
| They were doing vax shows. | ||
| You had to show your vaccine so they can admit more people. | ||
| For comics as well? | ||
| No. | ||
| The store has it for the comics. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| Why can't you just show a negative test? | ||
| The Facebook just banned Donald Trump for two years. | ||
| They said he can't come back to Facebook for two years. | ||
| Yeah, I just read that. | ||
| There's something he could do, though, to get back. | ||
| I didn't know what it was he could do to get back, but there's something he can do to come back, though. | ||
| Like parole? | ||
| Yeah, a little bit. | ||
| Instead of a parole hearing? | ||
| Tell us you're sorry. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| You have to put out- I almost caused the United States to collapse, the end of democracy. | ||
| You have to just give us inspirational quotes for the next two years, and we'll let you back in. | ||
| Like, what kind of fucking- They made a ruling. | ||
| And some people are like, this is bullshit. | ||
| He should be out forever. | ||
| Why are you letting him back in two years? | ||
| Because in two years, he'll be even older. | ||
| It's like, imagine how dumb he'll be in two years. | ||
| Imagine how more reckless. | ||
| He'll be a mess. | ||
| In two years, and then the two years, the effect of all the amphetamines he's going to be taking from now until those two years. | ||
| Deterioration of the brain, McDonald's food, no vitamins. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He does the opposite. | ||
| He's going to live longer than everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Well, they just came down with that ruling? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's pretty heavy. | ||
| I'm trying to find out about the way that says he come back, but it does say that in two years they're going to reevaluate even, so it might not be that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's fucked. | ||
| Kick the can. | ||
| Very interesting how they can just remove someone from social media like that, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, it's a real eye-opener for a lot of people when they can move the President of the United States off of Twitter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And go, that's it. | ||
| You're done. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Done. | ||
| And then you don't hear from him anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Imagine if he was still on social media right now. | ||
| Oh, it's so exhausting. | ||
| You would never hear a word. | ||
| And apparently he quit his blog after only nine days because the fucking view count was so abysmal. | ||
| Yeah, who wants... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No one wants to go into the president's blog. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's the thing that's interesting, though, is that people are locked into these ecosystems. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Facebook or Instagram or YouTube, whatever it is, they're locked into those things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And nobody wants to go to your website anymore. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, they just want to feed it to me. | ||
| Well, make it a part of what I already eat. | ||
| Don't make me go to a new restaurant. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| People don't want to go anywhere. | ||
| Even switching over from YouTube to Spotify, so many people are like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got to download a new thing. | |
| They're mad. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| It's not weird, though. | ||
| People get trapped in a habit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have a routine that you follow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You go to iTunes. | ||
| Every day at iTunes, you get the latest podcast. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| I'm already subscribed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Press play. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now you got to do the same thing over at Spotify. | ||
| But what's so weird is how it's moving. | ||
| It's always changing. | ||
| There's always new things coming up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well now Spotify has more podcast viewers and listeners than any other app. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| Spotify has surpassed Apple. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's impressive. | ||
| Yeah, it's a new thing. | ||
| Man, they really did that quickly. | ||
| Yeah, make sure that's true. | ||
| I'm 90% sure it's true though. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's a really good interface, you know? | ||
| I won't say anymore because I work for them. | ||
| No, but it is. | ||
| I mean, just watching for my daughters, they were looking at me using Apple Music like, ew. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| Like, no, Spotify. | ||
| It says that they will surpass Apple this year. | ||
| Will. | ||
| When was this? | ||
| March. | ||
| Oh, that's quite a long time ago, isn't it? | ||
| That was a forecast, too. | ||
| I think the latest one was something they sent. | ||
| Well... | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| Just gotta follow where the kids are going. | ||
| Maybe it's worldwide, but in America, it's still... | ||
| Apple still has the lead, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Like, Google worldwide uses Spotify. | ||
| But then I got a message from a friend of mine who said his friends in some parts of the world can't get Spotify. | ||
| It doesn't work. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's true, yeah. | ||
| Like Iran? | ||
| I was gonna say, I've gotten a message... | ||
| Facebook is adding podcasts. | ||
| Can you imagine with the censorship that those motherfuckers pump out? | ||
| I mean, they just now allowed you to talk about the lab leak theory again. | ||
| For the longest time, if you talked about the COVID possibly leaking from a lab that studied COVID that just happens to be in the exact same location as the fucking weird disease that is inexplicably... | ||
| Sickening people in different ways and all the shit that we talked about before. | ||
| Just happens to be there. | ||
| If you put that on Facebook, they would literally delete it from Facebook. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Legitimate scientists and biologists were examining this. | ||
| Epidemiologists were examining this. | ||
| And they were saying, this very well may have come from the lab that is right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| In that same area. | ||
| So what's their interest in that? | ||
| Propaganda! | ||
| What was their interest in that? | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who the fuck knows? | |
| Who knows what these people are up to? | ||
| Mark Zuckerberg, if there's anybody on this planet that's a robot, it's him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever see him drink water? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's very weird. | |
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ready? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm going to drink like Zuckerberg, man. | ||
| And he used two hands? | ||
| Yeah, he used two hands, but maybe that was Trump that used two hands. | ||
| Trump used two hands. | ||
| Trump used two hands and everybody was speculating, he's shaking, he's got the shakes! | ||
| Watch him sip this water. | ||
| Watch this, watch this, watch this. | ||
| Ready? | ||
| This is how people drink the water. | ||
| Look how he puts it down. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That is a guy that secretly wants all the power in the world. | ||
| He's trying to keep it together. | ||
| Just don't fuck this up, Mark. | ||
| Don't fuck this up. | ||
| Take a sip of water. | ||
| We are normal. | ||
| We are just like us. | ||
| We are just like them. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| Bro, that is the weirdest sip of water ever. | ||
| It is so bizarre. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so weird. | |
| So strange. | ||
| That's why he was able to do it, I guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a cyborg. | |
| But I mean, why did he even want that much water? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you even notice if you had that much water right after you have it? | ||
| Go ahead and try that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ready? | |
| Let's do a Mark Zuckerberg set. | ||
| He looks at it first. | ||
| He looks at what he's putting in. | ||
| Probably because he's worried they're poisoning him. | ||
| He probably has a bunch of people that test his food. | ||
| Eat the king's food. | ||
| You trying to be more robotic doesn't come close to what he was doing. | ||
| You're doing your best to be a robot and still there's so much emotion coming out of your body. | ||
| Was that his sunscreen? | ||
| Is that legit? | ||
| That's real sunscreen? | ||
| He went surfing, yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| What? | ||
| He did his whole face in zinc? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Bro, he's so odd. | ||
| It's so weird! | ||
| I love that that exists. | ||
| You see, when you have the kind of money that guy has and the kind of power he has by being at the helm of Facebook, and then you have a bunch of people that want you to step down as a CEO, like a lot of people want him to step down as a CEO of Facebook. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| They think he fucked up things during the election with all the Russian propaganda and all the shit that happened in 2016. And selling all our information to people. | ||
| That was a big kerfuffle. | ||
| There's so much going on, and they want him to step down, but he's like, fuck. | ||
| Fuck you, I'm drinking water. | ||
| Yeah, I made this, I'm gonna keep it. | ||
| Jeff Bezos is stepping down. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's he gonna do? | ||
| Spend that money. | ||
| Man. | ||
| You'd get bored. | ||
| Would you? | ||
| Yeah, if you're that kind of head that got you to that position, right? | ||
| Maybe he wants to do something else. | ||
| Don't you think you could do something else with 150 billion fucking dollars? | ||
| You could basically just- I don't know if it would change me at all. | ||
| You set a billion aside and start doing wild shit with that billion dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just decide, all right, I'm going to do this. | ||
| Do whatever the hell you want. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| What would you do? | ||
| What would you do if you're Bill Gates and you just got divorced? | ||
| Why did they get divorced? | ||
| Because he likes to fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that it? | |
| Probably. | ||
| I'd imagine. | ||
| He's got caught tubing in his thing. | ||
| $150 billion. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably wants to fuck. | ||
| I'm like, listen, Melinda. | ||
| I love you, but I can't. | ||
| It just seems so weird at that age. | ||
| What do they call that? | ||
| There's a certain type of divorce they call it. | ||
| There's a term. | ||
| Is there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's gotta be, because it's so weird. | ||
| You're just the old jellyfish people. | ||
| It's like a sunset divorce or some shit. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| At the end of the day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I quit! | ||
| Enough! | ||
| God, at that point, who cares? | ||
| I think there's... | ||
| Let's make some tea. | ||
| The speculation is it had something to do with his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, which turned out to be far more extensive than he had let on. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| Everything always comes back to that guy. | ||
| That guy had his claws in everybody. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So creepy. | ||
| Don't you feel real fortunate that you never went to one of his parties? | ||
| You know, and I tried to get invited all those years. | ||
| Imagine if you did, though. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You know, like... | ||
| Just a snapshot of you at a party with a drink? | ||
| A lot of famous people were at his parties. | ||
| I know. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| A lot of famous people traveled with him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, a lot. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| I mean, that was part of the gig. | ||
| Whatever he was doing, let's not speculate about who he worked for or what intelligence agencies or what have you. | ||
| Well, geez. | ||
| But for sure, there was some of that going on. | ||
| And he was curating influential people. | ||
| That's so weird, isn't it? | ||
| Fuck yeah, it's weird. | ||
| God, people had too much time on their hands. | ||
| What's weird is that that was like the craziest conspiracy theory ever. | ||
| If you went back in the day, just like a few years ago, and someone, like some Alex Jones type dude, was telling you about a conspiracy where super wealthy people and famous people fly to an island to have sex with underage girls, you're like, what? | ||
| That sounds like Looney Tunes stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now you're like, Oh. | ||
| Oh, it was real. | ||
| It was real. | ||
| And then he got literally hundreds of celebrities and scientists and world leaders. | ||
| Well, maybe they were coming because they heard it was a good buffet. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| I heard it's a great buffet. | ||
| I only flew with him 26 times. | ||
| I don't know what the problem is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everybody's so fucking judgmental today. | |
| I hear he's got a bunch of jet skis. | ||
| I hear it's a really fun time. | ||
| He's got his own game room, I hear. | ||
| He's got his own... | ||
| Shuffleboard? | ||
| Shuffleboard? | ||
| There's a... | ||
| Let me find this real quick. | ||
| How's that Jelaine lady staying alive? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Denied her fifth bail charge yesterday. | ||
| Who? | ||
| Trying to get out, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, his partner? | ||
| Who arranged all that stuff? | ||
| Bail, not parole, right? | ||
| That was a documentary I didn't get through. | ||
| When is her fucking... | ||
| November? | ||
| Why is it so long? | ||
| Probably because of COVID. No, they're trying to murder her. | ||
| They're just doing it nice and slow. | ||
| They just keep putting a rope into her cell. | ||
| Just gonna leave this on the tray. | ||
| Well, how about the fucking people that were guarding Jeffrey Epstein's cell? | ||
| They falsified records, lied about it, and they just got community service. | ||
| Like, whatever. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| I pulled up the wrong clip. | ||
| Do you remember that show, like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, but it was later on VH1. It was sort of like Cribs. | ||
| It was a little bit of a mixture of both, but VH1 did it. | ||
| Pimp My Ride. | ||
| They did a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Champagne wishes and caviar dreams! | |
| It's just like that of Jeffrey Epstein. | ||
| Oh, yeah, that's right. | ||
| I saw that online the other day. | ||
| And they're showing his cool house. | ||
| I'm trying to find the video, though. | ||
| Oh, they featured him on the show? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| This is the massage room where all the action happens. | ||
| Everyone is of age! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're not being filmed! | |
| Creepy. | ||
| That was the word that Ghislaine said, that they had films of everyone. | ||
| Films of all those people. | ||
| That's the old spot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A whopping 51,000 square feet. | |
| That's a dope house. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Unearthed video from Jeffrey Epstein's feature from 2007 has gone massively viral on social media. | ||
| It just sells them almost like you guys were doing, like he was like a cool guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sweet parties. | ||
| Fabious life of billion-dollar Wall Street borrowers dives into Epstein's fixation on owning private... | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| Led French of Bill Clinton was spotted on the infamous Lolita Express chat in 2002. Wow. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| None of those people are making their own pasta, I'll tell you that right now. | ||
| That's what's up. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No one's learning how to shoot a bow and arrow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have nothing to take up their time, so they just run around with their wieners out. | ||
| You greatly benefited from my move to Austin, Texas. | ||
| You got a freezer full of elk. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| How's that like? | ||
| Joe. | ||
| You have a full freezer. | ||
| I mean, it was the greatest gift ever. | ||
| I open it just even when I'm not eating it, just to look inside. | ||
| I have that giant freezer. | ||
| It fit perfectly. | ||
| It's like my house was waiting for it. | ||
| It's this perfect nook right in the garage, and it's just so much elk. | ||
| Isn't it nice? | ||
| I have not bought meat. | ||
| I don't buy meat. | ||
| Do you feel better when you eat that meat? | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| Really do, right? | ||
| No joke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No joke. | ||
| It's so good for you. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| What's the ones in the camouflage? | ||
| Tubes. | ||
| That's ground beef. | ||
| Excuse me, ground elk. | ||
| That's ground elk. | ||
| Is it different from any of the others? | ||
| No. | ||
| Usually it's a tougher cut, like shoulder meat, and they ground it up to make hamburger. | ||
| It is sensational with eggs. | ||
| What I like to do with it, I like to take some butter, put it in a pan, and I take the ground elk and I put some garlic salt on the ground elk and just kind of get it browned. | ||
| And then I push it to the side and crack a bunch of eggs in there too. | ||
| And I have like four eggs. | ||
| And either I mix it all up together, which sometimes I do. | ||
| I make like a scramble. | ||
| Or I just get the eggs sunny side up, push them to the side, and then put the ground elk on a pile on the plate and then mix it in with the yolks and everything. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Nice! | ||
| You just lit me up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| And then you get a little piece of that bread. | ||
| And put that French butter on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
| Come on now! | ||
| That's living! | ||
| So we're going to eat tonight at Red Ash. | ||
| I organized a comedian's dinner. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Ron White, Eric Griffin. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Tony, Red Band, Adam. | ||
| Adam's going to be here with that too. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| We're going to have some fun tonight. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| Red Ash is a great place in town. | ||
| They have like a real fire, like wood fire grilled steaks. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Where they have the thing with the Argentine style grill. | ||
| It cranks. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| It raises up and lowers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| They have handmade pasta there too. | ||
| I think I want steak. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, that too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can have all of it. | ||
| Both of those things. | ||
| All right, we should wrap this up. | ||
| I don't want to. | ||
| What do you got to do? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Don't you... | ||
| I don't want to go. | ||
| Don't you want to do other things as well? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| No. | ||
| I just want to keep doing this until dinner. | ||
| When are you working again? | ||
| Out here. | ||
| Out here in Austin. | ||
| Any gigs? | ||
| Yeah, I'm doing the... | ||
| Was it the Capitol? | ||
| What's the theater here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Paramount? | |
| Paramount. | ||
| Paramount's great. | ||
| Is it like a third capacity now? | ||
| I think they may have upped it up a little bit. | ||
| I think I'm doing it in the winter. | ||
| It's a great place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Beautiful theater. | ||
| I've done it once before. | ||
| Beautiful theater. | ||
| Dude, they put on my website all of my dates on the map. | ||
| I have all the little pins. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Look at all those dates. | ||
| Look at you, you fucking animal. | ||
| I don't like seeing that. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I'm going to go to all those places between now and December. | ||
| Does it give you anxiety? | ||
| You're going to Modesto, California. | ||
| You don't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| I go everywhere. | ||
| You get out there. | ||
| St. Paul, Minnesota. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Red Bank, New Jersey. | ||
| The Wynn in Las Vegas. | ||
| What's the Encore Theater at The Wynn? | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| Yeah, the win. | ||
| It's my first time there, July 30th. | ||
| I always usually do the Mirage. | ||
| The Mirage? | ||
| Yeah, I love that place. | ||
| A lot of comics do that. | ||
| It's not that big, but it's really perfectly set up. | ||
| That's the Terry Fedor Theater, the guy who won, what is it, America's Got Talent? | ||
| Is he still going? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I saw him there. | ||
| I took my family to see him there because it's like a family-friendly show. | ||
| You can see little kids can come and watch. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Have you seen Hacks on HBO? No. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's good. | ||
| I've only seen a couple episodes, but Gene Smart plays a Joan Rivers, Rita Rudner kind of a comedian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it's about comedy? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| She plays a Vegas comic, a legend Vegas comic who's trying to hang on, and this young hipster comedian comes in to help her write. | ||
| And it's the two generations of comedy. | ||
| The young comic gives her these jokes. | ||
| She's like, these aren't jokes. | ||
| There's no punchlines. | ||
| And it's such a good look at comedy. | ||
| Oh, this is new? | ||
| Yeah, it's new. | ||
| She's so good. | ||
| She's really... | ||
| How come I... Goddammit, there's so much on television, I haven't fucking seen it. | ||
| I know, and I don't see... | ||
| God, she looks a little like Joan Rivers. | ||
| I don't see anything, and I was able to see a couple of these. | ||
| Really well done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No shit. | |
| She's amazing, and it just... | ||
| Like, it's obviously written by comics, because... | ||
| The stuff about the different generations of what comedy is and trying to kill, like we were talking about, like that Bernie Mac kind of a thing, and the new kind of hipster floating around. | ||
| This is in the world of kind of funny. | ||
| It's a pretty good look at it. | ||
| It's crazy when a show could be really good and you never heard of it. | ||
| How many shows are out there? | ||
| Dude, I know. | ||
| Everyone's talking about the mayor of Easttown or whatever that is. | ||
| Yeah, I've heard that's great. | ||
| I hear. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what I hear. | ||
| I've never seen a thing. | ||
| Didn't even know what it was. | ||
| I thought it was the mayor, like M-A-Y-O-R. M-A-R-E. Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's so much shit out there. | ||
| My friend John Dudley told me this is shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All right, really, I gotta pee really hard, and I gotta wrap this up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tommy motherfucking Papa! | |
| You can find him on the Instagram. | ||
| It's the only thing he reads. | ||
| So talk shit about him there. | ||
| No, don't ruin that for me. | ||
| Tom Papa on Instagram. | ||
| Come to Papa. | ||
| There's a podcast and the other podcast. | ||
| The Breaking Bread podcast. | ||
| Duncan Trussell's on this week. | ||
| Oh, is he? | ||
| You guys made bread together? | ||
| No, we did it remote because he's far away. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I just love him so much. | ||
| He's living in the mountains with the hillbillies and the mushrooms. | ||
| He's so great. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| But yeah, TomPapa.com for everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. |
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