Oct. 14, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:00:42
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
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unidentified
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! | |
| The Joe Rogan Experience. | ||
| Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. | ||
| Tom Papa, welcome to Real America. | ||
| I'm glad you've gotten out of your liberal hidey hole. | ||
| You come here, we can eat at a real restaurant. | ||
| It feels the same. | ||
| Does it? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| What do you mean it feels the same? | ||
| It feels the same. | ||
| I went to a restaurant and, you know, is that what real life is now? | ||
| Restaurant or not a restaurant? | ||
| It feels the same where? | ||
| As it does in LA? Just walking around. | ||
| LA feels the same as this place? | ||
| Uh, kinda. | ||
| That's not what you were just saying before we got in the air. | ||
| What are you, a fucking propaganda? | ||
| The guy comes here. | ||
| No, I'll tell you what the difference is. | ||
| He's so different off air. | ||
| I'll tell you what the difference is. | ||
| He was saying y'all and all kinds of shit. | ||
| No, you know what I found? | ||
| I'm here with you by way of Denver, and then to here. | ||
| And they're all doing the same things, pretty much. | ||
| You have a little more indoor, but everyone's masked up, everyone's doing things. | ||
| But there's less anxiety in these places. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| In LA, they keep the pressure turned up to scare you, to get you to behave. | ||
| So you do walk around feeling... | ||
| More trapped and more nervous. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not based on reality. | ||
| It's not wise. | ||
| It's not healthy. | ||
| Trump's 74 and he's fat and he kicked it in four days. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| I don't give a fuck what anybody says. | ||
| What did they give that guy? | ||
| They gave him everything. | ||
| He's the President of the United States. | ||
| But it works. | ||
| They have a thing. | ||
| If you give him everything, it works. | ||
| It works for fat old guys. | ||
| Yeah, but he's getting stuff that's very different from what you would get just walking into Urgent Care in Encino. | ||
| Don't go to Urgent Care in Encino. | ||
| Go to Cedars-Sinai. | ||
| They'll hook you up with whatever he's got. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Do you think they... | ||
| Is he getting things that you can't get? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In all seriousness? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| How do you know that? | ||
| 100%, because the first thing is a trial drug that hasn't been approved yet. | ||
| They're not just handing that out at Cedars. | ||
| Is that the... | ||
| The first thing. | ||
| That's remdesivir? | ||
| No. | ||
| Did I say that? | ||
| No, everyone can get that. | ||
| Remdesivir? | ||
| Remdesivir. | ||
| Remdesivir. | ||
| Anyone can get that. | ||
| Anyone can get remdesivir. | ||
| And then, what is the other stuff they gave him? | ||
| But the other thing he got was the plasma-related... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Therapy. | ||
| You can't get that everywhere? | ||
| No. | ||
| Why can't you? | ||
| Because you're not the president of the United States. | ||
| Or maybe the liberal media is trying to keep that from you so that you stay sick so that they can get Biden into the White House. | ||
| Ever think about that? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Now, wait a second. | ||
| I literally, last night, because I literally was... | ||
| There is definitely so much confusion because that side is ramping up the fear 100%, making it scarier than it is so they can get him to be president. | ||
| And the other side is definitely saying from Trump on down, don't worry about this thing, so it makes it look like we did a good job and the economy comes back and all that stuff. | ||
| So I'm like, this cognitive dissonance. | ||
| Like, what is real? | ||
| I watched Tucker Carlson. | ||
| He made sense for a minute. | ||
| And then I watched Anderson. | ||
| He made sense for a minute. | ||
| And I was like, let me lift off into the satellite and let me just look at the world. | ||
| Let me see what's happening in the world that's not involved in this election. | ||
| Spain, France, Moscow, the Netherlands. | ||
| All opened up a little too much, and now we're all putting restrictions back. | ||
| Everything spiked. | ||
| Yeah, but if you want to look at other countries, look at Sweden, because they opened up completely, and they have less cases, and now they're back to normal. | ||
| They have no masks. | ||
| You go to a bar, no one's... | ||
| Obviously, it's a smaller country. | ||
| Smaller country. | ||
| I mean, look... | ||
| Less people. | ||
| They live in different sort of circumstances. | ||
| They have mostly smaller villages other than Stockholm, but they're fine. | ||
| I know, but if you look at Spain and you look at France and you look at Moscow, I mean, these places, there's no political agenda in these places. | ||
| There's no political agenda. | ||
| It's just, they opened up and they said, let's go all open. | ||
| And the case has skyrocketed, and now they have to bring it back a little bit. | ||
| The virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans. | ||
| Eating all these extra humans? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| The virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| What kind of way to describe it is that? | ||
| The virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans. | ||
| We have extra humans right now. | ||
| We have way too many humans. | ||
| You can't say that. | ||
| Well, it's the truth. | ||
| You know how sometimes you have moss that's growing, and it comes just up to the edge of the walkway, and you're like, that looks pretty. | ||
| And then it starts going over onto the brick and starts covering. | ||
| We are the moss, and we're covering the bricks now, and something's showing up and scaling us back a little bit. | ||
| Or there was an experimental virus that they were working on in the Wuhan, what is it, level four lab, and it got out. | ||
| Sweden, which refused COVID lockdown, says restrictions will remain for at least another year. | ||
| Yeah, but the restrictions are very different. | ||
| The restrictions are for really large gatherings, but you can go to restaurants, you can go to bars, you can go to all those places. | ||
| Yes, but there's still restrictions. | ||
| The virus is a real thing all around the planet, and it's gonna be a little bit. | ||
| It's gonna be till June, by the way, I heard in Denver. | ||
| How do they know that in Denver? | ||
| Are they the people who told you about eating up extra humans? | ||
|
unidentified
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Jesus! | |
| They told me that this pilot was talking to me at the show, and he said his doctor, of some note, was saying that all of our pandemics have lasted 18 months. | ||
| Despite what we try to do, restrictions, no restrictions, it runs its course. | ||
| 18 months is about where the fire starts to subside and you go back to normal. | ||
| Historically. | ||
| Historically speaking. | ||
| And this one, and because it's 100 years in between pandemics, nobody's around to give you lessons from the last one. | ||
| So we make all the same mistakes. | ||
| And if you go by that, it's about June from when this virus started. | ||
| We're talking about June when we're back to normal. | ||
| Which is kind of upsetting, but kind of nice, also, that you have an end date. | ||
| You know, it's kind of like, alright, that's annoying, I gotta wear masks and do all this stuff and be kind of messed up. | ||
| But, till June? | ||
| That's kind of nice. | ||
| I can maybe make some plans. | ||
| I can make a 4th of July plan. | ||
| How many businesses are we gonna lose between now and June, though? | ||
| I think the real issue is people putting restrictions on what people can and can't do. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| You're basically giving up your constitutional rights, and there's no real protection for you this way. | ||
| There's no real protection for your business. | ||
| There's no real protection for your livelihood. | ||
| And even with all this, you're still dealing with Other kinds of horrible deaths and other kinds of horrible things that go along with the economic despair. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sure. | |
| Like, how many people are going to die because of drug overdoses? | ||
| Or depression or suicide. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These have to be factored in, too. | ||
| They totally do. | ||
| And I really get the feeling. | ||
| But there's the middle ground between the CNN narrative and this Fox narrative. | ||
| There's the truth. | ||
| And I saw it in Portland. | ||
| I saw it in Connecticut. | ||
| I saw it in Salt Lake City. | ||
| What are you seeing? | ||
| I've performed in all these places. | ||
| And they are all wearing masks, but their businesses are open. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, that's what we should have had in LA a long time ago. | ||
| Yes, they're testing. | ||
| They've got the masks on. | ||
| They're distancing. | ||
| Like, I ate in restaurants, but, you know, it's limited capacity. | ||
| I performed in comedy clubs, half capacity. | ||
| But here's the thing, man. | ||
| Not just because of my comedic draw. | ||
| I don't think that that's scientific. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because there's aerosol. | ||
| The virus is carried through the air now. | ||
| This has pretty much been confirmed. | ||
| They used to think it carried through droplets, which is the reason for the whole six-foot social distancing space. | ||
| They don't think that's the case anymore. | ||
| They think it's airborne. | ||
| So if that's the case, all that social distancing stuff is horseshit because it's in the air. | ||
| But not if you're social distanced and have a mask on. | ||
| I'm telling you, the social distancing thing doesn't mean anything anymore. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| So you can be close with a mask, but you're still in a mask. | ||
| A lot of these masks have holes in them. | ||
| Well, yeah, but... | ||
| A lot of these masks, like you see these paper masks that people have with the wire? | ||
| There's an opening in the top, there's openings in the side. | ||
| There's a lot of sketchy masks. | ||
| I'm not saying it's not a good idea to wear a mask and maybe it reduces some of the droplets that go out. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I'm not a scientist, neither are you. | ||
| But what I am saying is, I don't know how much, I think what you're getting is, you're getting a lot of people that are healthy, and they're going out, and they don't have it, and they're not giving it to anybody because they don't have it, and you're getting away with it. | ||
| And everybody's wearing masks, and it's good to be cautious. | ||
| But I don't necessarily know if you were in a room filled with people who had COVID, and you, unless you had an N95 mask, unless you have a real mask, I don't know if those fucking cloth masks are going to help you. | ||
| I think they work. | ||
| I mean, because look, you look at these places. | ||
| What are you basing that on? | ||
| I'm basing it on cities where they have the mask as a thing, and they made it mandatory that you wear these masks, and the numbers go down. | ||
| Everyone does. | ||
| Everyone does what? | ||
| Everywhere you have to wear a mask. | ||
| The whole country. | ||
| Well, now, but it wasn't. | ||
| I mean, this was fits and starts, and people screwing around. | ||
| There's all sorts of weird shit. | ||
| The protests were a big kick in the virus. | ||
| That was a giant uptick. | ||
| Right, of course, and there was a lot of people out there with no masks. | ||
| Not just that, they're just bumper to bumper with each other. | ||
| They were right next to each other and screaming. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| And it's in the air. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Especially at nighttime. | ||
| They think the sun kills it, like, almost instantly. | ||
| Ooh, that's nice. | ||
| Yeah, there's been studies on UV light, and UV light kills it almost instantly. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So sunlight and even simulated sunlight can kill it. | ||
| All, look. | ||
| You're playing the odds, right? | ||
| You want to do all the things that you can to... | ||
| I want the steroids that Trump's on. | ||
| That's what I want. | ||
| I want them too. | ||
| I want the vaccine. | ||
| The same shit that The Rock had when he was doing Jumanji. | ||
| That's what they gave him. | ||
| They gave him all the good stuff. | ||
| Yeah, the really good stuff. | ||
| And shots in the ass. | ||
| Did you see his tweets? | ||
| Remember when you were a kid and you got a shot in your butt cheek? | ||
| I do. | ||
| Those things worked. | ||
| That's what we need to bring back. | ||
| Ass cheek shots. | ||
| What shots did they give you in your butt? | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I don't know, but they worked. | ||
| And you didn't want to go back to the doctor and have some man take your pants off and make you cry in front of your mom, so you stayed healthy. | ||
| I never cried on my kid. | ||
| How funny would it be if you're sticking your ass out of your car window to get your vaccine? | ||
| That would be hilarious. | ||
| If everybody's just like parked with their butt right up to their driver's side window. | ||
| So look. | ||
| All of this is kind of like, it's going to run its course, but you can do things to comment down. | ||
| Conley also revealed Trump has been treated with dexamethasone, an immunosuppressant steroid that can cause euphoric mood changes. | ||
| Well, there's his tweets. | ||
| That's him doing wheelies in the parking lot. | ||
| Since then, people have posted online about their own experience with the drug. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| An aminosuppressant... | ||
| That's what's interesting, too. | ||
| They say that one of the things that happens with this disease is you actually don't want the immune system to react too violently to the disease. | ||
| Yeah, I read about that. | ||
| Or too aggressively to the disease. | ||
| I don't understand the logic behind that, because I'm stupid. | ||
| I tried to read that article. | ||
| It was... | ||
| Complicated. | ||
| It made me think how amazing the human body is. | ||
| There's stages of the immune system. | ||
| It originally comes out and gives you a dose of stuff and surrounds the virus. | ||
| And then it goes up, and then it ramps up, and then it reboots, and then it sends another part. | ||
| It was like four stages of what your immune system does, and because it has to be ramped up to attack this virus, it could actually hurt you more than the virus. | ||
| Well, here it says, what does dexamethasone do? | ||
| Dexamethasone is a corticosteroid hormone that decreases the body's natural immune response and reduces swelling and allergic reaction symptoms. | ||
| This medication treats a number of conditions, including asthma, IBS, Crohn's disease, and a number of lymphomas. | ||
| It is used to treat COVID-19 because serious cases can provoke an exaggerated immune response, releasing a large number of pro-inflammatory cytokines, in what's known as a cytokine storm. | ||
| I've heard of that. | ||
| As immunosuppressant, dexamethasone is thought to help reduce the likelihood of the body's overreaction to the virus. | ||
| Researchers found dexamethasone to significantly reduce mortality among seriously ill, i.e. hospitals, hospitalized COVID-19 patients, scientists have said it may prevent one in three deaths among patients on ventilators. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, so they gave him... | ||
| They threw the kitchen sink at it immediately. | ||
| Yeah, and it worked. | ||
| Yeah, you're the President of the United States. | ||
| You should get everything they possibly have. | ||
| All I'm getting at this by fucking with you here is that in these times where things are very unsure, a lot of times people like to say exactly what you need to do and what's happening. | ||
| As long as people do this, we're okay. | ||
| As long as we wear a mask, we're okay. | ||
| And I'm not sure. | ||
| I'm not sure that's the case. | ||
| I think we're all gonna get it. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Well, that is the reality of what I'm saying, that doctor saying that it goes 18 months. | ||
| But I don't know if 18 months means everybody gets it. | ||
| You're going to come in contact with it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And some people's immune system just beats it. | ||
| That's what I kind of... | ||
| After looking at it globally last night, and what that doctor said of this timeline, which is total hearsay, but it seems to make sense, it made me think all of this is noise and us all freaking out. | ||
| What about my job? | ||
| What about the mask? | ||
| What about this? | ||
| What do we do? | ||
| Is it real? | ||
| Is it not? | ||
| And we're all freaking out, and it's going to run its course either way. | ||
| Despite how crazy we get, this virus is going to run its course, and in a year and a half, it's going to kind of Exactly. | ||
| Listen to what you're saying. | ||
| You're talking as if you know what's going to happen. | ||
| I'm guessing. | ||
| But see what people do? | ||
| You just sort of lay it out. | ||
| People do this at cocktail parties. | ||
| You say, yeah, well, we got to do it. | ||
| This is how it's going to go. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And you feel comforted by that. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Comforted by that. | ||
| And then you go home and you try to relax. | ||
| If you say to a room full of people, I feel like I'm getting something. | ||
| Everybody there knows what to do. | ||
| They run away from you. | ||
| You've got to take zinc. | ||
| You've got to take this. | ||
| You've got chicken soup. | ||
| You've got to get ginger. | ||
| There's this ginger drink. | ||
| Everybody has the idea. | ||
| And that's what I'm trying to say. | ||
| We're all trying to control the universe, but this thing's going to run its course. | ||
| It's going to happen. | ||
| We don't really have that much control over it. | ||
| Well, it's insanely contagious. | ||
| Santino caught it giving a guy a ride home. | ||
| Ten-minute ride home with the windows open, and he caught it. | ||
| No mask. | ||
| No, they weren't wearing masks. | ||
| Yeah, the guy didn't know he had it. | ||
| No symptoms, no coughing, no nothing. | ||
| Gives him a ride home for 10 minutes. | ||
| How did he know that that was the guy? | ||
| Because the guy called him afterwards, a couple days later, and says, I got it. | ||
| And then Santino's like, fuck. | ||
| And then a couple days after that, Santino has it. | ||
| I like Fauci. | ||
| He looks like a little guy from the Bronx, and he kind of makes me feel comfortable. | ||
| And he's in the administration, part of the Trump team, and he's saying, please, just wear the mask. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But, you know, initially he didn't say that. | ||
| And the reason why he didn't say that is because he wanted to make sure there's masks for first responders. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The problem with that means, that means he lied. | ||
| That means he said something that he knew wasn't true. | ||
| I'm not perfect. | ||
| Everybody lies. | ||
| He said something he knew wasn't true because he wanted people to react in a certain way, but then he still expects them to trust him after that. | ||
| I'm not saying you shouldn't trust him. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| I'm not saying it's wise or unwise, but I'm saying... | ||
| In that circumstance, I wouldn't have recommended he do that. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| I mean, the idea was that we were panicked, and he thought, like, look, if I tell people everybody get a mask, then there's going to be this nationwide shortage of masks. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I read this article of countries that have done better than other countries, South Korea, New Zealand. | ||
| They have advantages about isolation and all that kind of stuff, and fewer people. | ||
| But the main thing that they were saying is communication. | ||
| Tell people the truth, and they'll react accordingly, and it calms the hysteria, and it puts trust in the people that are giving you the advice. | ||
| So if he had come out and said, masks are important, use a bandana, and leave these for the healthcare workers, these are very important that these people on the front lines get it, that would have been so much better because then we wouldn't have the discussion when he comes out in September. | ||
| My friend who's a doctor says the bandanas are useless. | ||
| They look cool, though. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| You look better than the plastic ones. | ||
| Okay, if you weren't in a pandemic and you're wearing a bandana over your face like that, you look like either a douchebag or a bank robber. | ||
| What about when you pull it down around your neck? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You look like you're at Studio 54. You're a Chris Christopherson fan. | |
| Or you're a guy who's at the range. | ||
| A lot of guys at the gun range, they'll put bandanas around their neck because shells come flying, hot shells, and they can land in your collar and burn your neck. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I used to wear it when I was on my motorcycle. | ||
| I would wear a bandana up for that same reason, for the road stuff. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| And then you walk into the bar afterwards and you pull it down. | ||
|
unidentified
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You look like a badass. | |
| You look like a badass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You take that little disposable paper thing and put it down on your neck, no one's looking at you. | ||
| My friend Jeff, who's a doctor, he said, that's the worst thing you can wear is those bandanas. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Yeah, he said cloth masks are better, they're thicker, they'll protect you more. | ||
| He goes, but you really want an N95 mask. | ||
| Yeah, that's the real deal. | ||
| In my travels, I've been on four or five round-trip flights, and I've been wearing the disposable ones. | ||
| Yeah, the paper ones are okay. | ||
| They're easiest to breathe in, which makes me suspicious. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I was thinking the same thing. | ||
| Well, that's what I was saying. | ||
| I think if it's airborne, I don't know if that shit is blocking that much. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't. | |
| I know. | ||
| I'm like, I'm wearing the bandana. | ||
| I'm suffocating. | ||
| So then I put on the disposable one. | ||
| I'm like, oh, this is good. | ||
| I can go all the way to New York like this. | ||
| What do you think's larger? | ||
| The virus in the air and aerosol or fart particles? | ||
| Because I guarantee you... | ||
| That made me suspicious too. | ||
| Someone has a hard fart. | ||
| I got on the tram in Denver at like 8 in the morning and someone let a meaty one out. | ||
| I mean, one of those lasagna farts. | ||
| And the whole place, we're all in masks, and everyone was horrified. | ||
| I'm like, how strong are these? | ||
| Did anyone say anything? | ||
| No, they didn't have to. | ||
| You saw facial expressions. | ||
| People should have said something. | ||
| There was a couple. | ||
| I made eye contact with the lady next time. | ||
| We both gave an eye roll just to tell each other it wasn't us. | ||
| But somebody let it through, and I'm like, if this fart's getting through... | ||
| Joey Diaz farted on a plane. | ||
| It was so bad, I wrote a story about it. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I wrote a fucking... | ||
| It's called Happy Pills. | ||
| It's probably still out there on the internet somewhere. | ||
| It was on my blog. | ||
| But he cut a fart that was so bad. | ||
| And I was in the middle of thinking about... | ||
| I was thinking about life and people getting older. | ||
| And I was listening to Jimi Hendrix, and I was high. | ||
| And he cut this fart, and this lady behind us goes... | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| And he starts laughing! | ||
| He starts laughing! | ||
|
unidentified
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And I put my shirt over my face and I'm like, oh my god! | |
| It was so bad! | ||
| It was so bad! | ||
| Oh, it's the worst. | ||
| Summer's so powerful. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| If a fart can make it through pants, how can a mask protect you from a virus? | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| Who wrote this article? | ||
| This is back in May, like a Yahoo News thing. | ||
| The fart particles are way smaller, apparently. | ||
| Kristen May. | ||
| Oh, Dr. McQueef. | ||
| A thousand times smaller. | ||
| Dr. McQueef. | ||
| Fart particles are smaller than the virus? | ||
| Yeah, that's why. | ||
|
unidentified
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Hmm. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Tiny, stinky fart molecules. | ||
| C4-3SH is a rather small molecule with a diameter around... | ||
| Oh my god, they've measured farts. | ||
| Yeah, this is science. | ||
| By comparison, viruses typically range in diameter for... | ||
| Okay, much larger. | ||
| COVID-19 being about 60 to 140 nm. | ||
| I don't know what that means. | ||
| Nanometers or molars? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Okay, so farts are smaller. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| The virus is 100 to 1,000 times bigger than a fart molecule. | ||
| What about if a virus goes through farts? | ||
| Oh, wait a minute. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| They explain how N95 masks work. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| N95 masks is capable of filtering 95% of test aerosol containing the average particle size of 300 nm. | ||
| Basically, N95 masks have a tight weave pattern with multiple layers that serve as a barrier to larger structures like viruses or simply spittle. | ||
| Yeah, that works. | ||
| That stuff works. | ||
| There's a reason doctors wear that stuff for all sorts of things, right? | ||
| Keith Robinson once, my good pal and comedian, we were at Del Frisco's across from Radio City Music Hall. | ||
| It's a steakhouse. | ||
| Del Frisco's? | ||
| Yeah, it's a great place. | ||
| Great place. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| It's two floors, but there's no ceiling over the first floor dining section, so it's just like, I don't know, 50 feet high in the air. | ||
| We had this big dinner, steak dinner. | ||
| I mean, it's a massive place with huge ventilation. | ||
| Like, you could do a show there now in the middle of a pandemic and everyone would be safe. | ||
| And he farted on our way out of there. | ||
| He crop-dusted the whole place. | ||
| Other tables were putting napkins over their faces, dropping silverware. | ||
| It was that bad? | ||
| It was that bad. | ||
| Just toxic. | ||
| What was he eating? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It's usually a mixture of things. | ||
| He's decaying. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| It's a mixture of things. | ||
| It's usually like when you mix broccoli and meat. | ||
| Or some beans. | ||
| Some beans. | ||
| Following that up. | ||
| No, it's disgusting. | ||
| No, but I was... | ||
| But, by the way, I leave... | ||
| The reason I started even looking at the perception of it all and trying to look at it in a global way is because it is confusing. | ||
| This whole thing is very confusing. | ||
| And that we're in the middle of an election makes it so confusing because everyone's using whatever little information they have to their advantage. | ||
| But there's also the confusion of, I'm in LA, I go to LAX. Joe, I could have gotten there five minutes before my flight. | ||
| I'm the only guy going through security. | ||
| I walk right up to the gate and get on the plane. | ||
| Like, no wait at... | ||
| No traffic going down. | ||
| No wait at all. | ||
| That's unheard of. | ||
| And I land in Denver. | ||
| It's like it's 2018. Packed. | ||
| You know that big... | ||
| Yeah, that's real America, Tom. | ||
| That's what I was telling you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| You're living in this bullshit, liberal, communist, Marxist... | ||
| It's a phony state. | ||
| It's a nation state. | ||
| And it's controlled by a dictator named Gavin Newsom. | ||
| And he wants you to be poor. | ||
| Why would he want me to be poor? | ||
| Because he wants more hair. | ||
| He wants to use your money to grow his hair thicker. | ||
| You ever see his sexy shot? | ||
| Get a sexy shot? | ||
| You ever saw the sexy shot? | ||
| Who was the woman that he used to date, who's now on the Trump... | ||
| Oh, that was his wife. | ||
| Donald Trump Jr.'s girlfriend is his ex-wife. | ||
| Yeah, which I had no idea. | ||
| Did you ever see the sexy shot that they made together? | ||
| Before he ruined San Francisco, they were together. | ||
| Yeah, where they're laying on like a bare skin rug. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Oh yeah, they call them the new Kennedys, Jamie. | ||
| You got it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh boy. | |
| Oh, who let them take that picture? | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| It's funny that Jimmy Kimmel used that. | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| Is that hilarious? | ||
| Who said yes to that? | ||
| What serious politician poses on the floor with your knee up? | ||
| The kind that wants to wreck a whole state. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| We've got to get the lockdown! | ||
| I have to say, when he was giving the speeches in the beginning of the lockdown, I liked hearing him. | ||
| Well, he sounds good. | ||
| He does sound good. | ||
| He's a handsome man. | ||
| He looks very distinguished. | ||
| His voice is good. | ||
| He's a little raspy. | ||
| But the draconian laws, these draconian enforcements, the way they're handling it, it's just... | ||
| What state do you think is handling it the right way? | ||
| Like, where do you think it... | ||
| Who's got kind of, like, it down? | ||
| Florida. | ||
| You think? | ||
| They're like, Buckwild, let's go. | ||
| Florida doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Disney World. | ||
| You're open. | ||
| Jimmy Buffett concerts. | ||
| You can do whatever you want. | ||
| I know. | ||
| We could do stand-up in an arena in Florida. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| I know. | ||
| No social distancing. | ||
| No mask requirements. | ||
| Now what's happening to their numbers? | ||
| They did this, what, two weeks ago? | ||
| They're fine. | ||
| Everyone's getting stronger and younger. | ||
| They're going back in time. | ||
| You never get any older and you never die. | ||
| They look better than they have ever looked. | ||
| They're the only ones free in this whole country. | ||
| They're the most American people in America. | ||
| Freedom is kind of overrated, don't you think? | ||
| Listen to this fucking communist. | ||
| They got you beaten down. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| You have a mortgage. | ||
| You gotta stay in California. | ||
| You're trying to swallow the Kool-Aid. | ||
| You're taking it down in sperm-like chunks. | ||
| You're just trying to swallow it in the chunky sauce of Gavin Newsom. | ||
| You're sucking it down your pipe right now. | ||
| But there's no difference. | ||
| What's the difference? | ||
| Restaurants? | ||
| You can't go to comedy clubs. | ||
| You can't go to restaurants. | ||
| You can't go to movie theaters. | ||
| You can only go to comedy clubs in certain places. | ||
| You can't go to retail stores. | ||
| You can't go to any retail store in a mall that doesn't have an outside entrance. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| My wife was just at the mall. | ||
| Yes, you can go to Nordstrom's because they've got an outside entrance. | ||
| She went to Kiel's, which is inside. | ||
| Well, unless they've changed it recently, that's how it was before. | ||
| Oh, it's a whole euphoria now. | ||
| You've got to come. | ||
| You've got to move back. | ||
| It's amazing now. | ||
| He's a propagandist. | ||
| I told you, Jamie. | ||
| I told you we can't have him on. | ||
| He's done. | ||
| He's got a fever. | ||
| I just got tested. | ||
| You are negative, but I want to test your forehead. | ||
| I want to see if you've got something else. | ||
| I want to see if you have a fever. | ||
| What is the difference between LA and... | ||
| And I'm asking this honestly because I was kind of trying to figure it out because I do feel... | ||
| Honestly, all fucking around. | ||
| People are less scared here. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| First of all, they're way friendlier here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It just seems more relaxed. | ||
| You can work. | ||
| You can go to work. | ||
| You wear a mask and you go to work. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure there are some cases, but deaths are way down everywhere in the country. | ||
| You know that? | ||
| I mean, they used to be climbing and climbing and climbing. | ||
| Now it's like it was 208,000 people. | ||
| Now it's 209,000 people. | ||
| When you're dealing with 320 million plus people... | ||
| It's a relatively small number of people dying from it. | ||
| So they have the remedies better. | ||
| They have the... | ||
| Treatment. | ||
| The different treatments better. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| You know, it still sucks. | ||
| I don't want to get it. | ||
| But everybody that I know that's got it has kicked it pretty easy except Michael Yeo. | ||
| And Michael Yeo was in a bad state when he got it. | ||
| He was really run down. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But broken down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He'd been traveling a lot. | ||
| And he has low vitamin D. Admittedly, he wasn't taking vitamin D, which is apparently a big factor in your immune system. | ||
| I do feel like that's probably, like the places that I've been, they're not ignoring it. | ||
| It's not Florida. | ||
| You can't ignore it. | ||
| They're not ignoring it. | ||
| Florida, I don't even think Florida's really ignoring it. | ||
| The governor, all bullshit aside, the governor put a chart up and he was saying the issue that we really need to concern ourselves with is people 70 plus. | ||
| Like 70 plus are the ones who have a significant risk of dying. | ||
| And he's saying everybody else, what we really need to consider is the people that have underlying conditions. | ||
| And we need to, you know, those people... | ||
| I mean, this is what should have been done all along. | ||
| The people that are at high risk should have been sheltered. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But shutting everything down is an economic disaster. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's where we're at. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And like, they shut the comedy store down when they were trying to do shows outside in the parking lot. | ||
| I know. | ||
| With a fucking snot shield in front of everybody. | ||
| I know. | ||
| They had a big glass shield in front of the audience. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they still said no. | ||
| Outside! | ||
| No, it's ridiculous. | ||
| You can open up a restaurant outside, but you can't do stand-up in the parking lot of the store? | ||
| I don't get that at all, because there's literally no difference. | ||
| I've performed in a lot of places. | ||
| I was in a casino in Connecticut. | ||
| Everyone's wearing masks. | ||
| Everyone's doing the right thing. | ||
| I'd rather catch COVID than do a casino in Connecticut. | ||
| I'm not proud of it, but... | ||
| How dare he! | ||
| I'm not proud of it. | ||
| Which casino? | ||
| I had to go see my family. | ||
| Mahegan's son. | ||
| Doing the shows was so great. | ||
| Oh, the Comedy Store documentary. | ||
| I got to see it for my radio show. | ||
| I got to see it all the way through. | ||
| They sent it to me in advance. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| It's heavy. | ||
| It's really great. | ||
| There's a real depth to it. | ||
| Your part is amazing. | ||
| And it's just amazing. | ||
| Like, what you did for that club was, yeah, everybody kind of knows, like, how you had such an impact on it. | ||
| But actually seeing it, you know, we're with you all the time, and you see the... | ||
| But seeing, like, in a documentary style, starting with the Mencia of it and getting to now, man, it made me want to kiss you right on the lips. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's threatening me now. | ||
| Jesus, Jamie. | ||
| Really, Joe. | ||
| He's come here. | ||
| It really is such a great thing. | ||
| Because to have such a historic place that was so bright and great and then really decimated and fell on its ass, and you're really the force that brought it back to this, was like, oh, it was just great. | ||
| It was so great. | ||
| And watching your story was really, really cool. | ||
| Oh, thanks man. | ||
| It was heavy. | ||
| It was weird to make. | ||
| I cried a bunch of times thinking about Mitzi. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Thinking about the old days. | ||
| But what it was like to come there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just to be a paid regular there. | ||
| It's such a polarizing place. | ||
| So many people have a negative impression of it. | ||
| Because it's such a difficult club. | ||
| And there's so many killers there. | ||
| And a lot of people just didn't feel like they got the respect that they deserved there. | ||
| But it's not the case. | ||
| You needed a higher level. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| You're going up, you're on a lineup with 15 murderers and everyone's killing in front of you. | ||
| And there's a lot of people that would go there and they would have like sort of mediocre sets and they would be upset because they had a career. | ||
| Like they'd be on television shows. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| They'd be doing things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the comedy store would be like, you know, we don't have any spots for you. | ||
| They'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| And they would harbor this terrible resentment and they would talk about it. | ||
| Like years later, they would say, you know, I had to prove myself at that place. | ||
| Like, hey man, Everybody had to prove their self at that place. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| They don't give a fuck if you're on a TV show. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| No one cares. | ||
| No. | ||
| And it's not an easy place. | ||
| Just take the booking out of it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Getting up and performing in any of those rooms... | ||
| You've got to be good. | ||
| You've got to bring it. | ||
| And you not only have to be good, you have to learn that room, all those rooms. | ||
| You've got to bring it. | ||
| It's tough. | ||
| Yeah, it's a tough place. | ||
| But the exciting thing is the people that do come through, and then the people that are coming up, like Laura Beetz, like Annie Letterman, like all these young kids that are coming up, Allie Makovsky. | ||
| And then you have these people that are there and established and looking to break through, like Tony Hinchcliffe, guys who are killers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's so many of them. | ||
| And it makes you. | ||
| If you can stick it out, it really does make you. | ||
| But for some people, they liked the UCB. They liked these places where they could go. | ||
| Comforting. | ||
| Everything was relaxed. | ||
| Everybody's supporting. | ||
| Everyone loves you. | ||
| It was a lower level of comedy, and the audience was a little bit more enthusiastic about laughing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No one's gonna bomb. | ||
| There's a darkness to the store that's undeniable, and I think it comes from it being Ciro's nightclub, because it was Bugsy Siegel's nightclub, and people were legitimately murdered there. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That is 100% fact. | ||
| People were murdered at the comedy store. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who owned Ciro's? | ||
| Bugsy Siegel. | ||
| Bugsy Siegel owned it? | ||
| Bugsy Siegel owned Ciro's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Dude, there was old school pictures. | ||
| There's old school pictures of Ciro's that are amazing. | ||
| Where you could see the stage where we perform on, but instead Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin are on that stage. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Yeah, doing a live show. | ||
| Now what is that? | ||
| Because there are places that... | ||
| The place has a magic to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Right? | ||
| There are places that just undeniably succeed, and there's other places that never really get it going. | ||
| And I'm talking about restaurants or a hotel or just, like, there's a magic to certain spots. | ||
| I think things have memory. | ||
| Rupert Sheldrake believed this. | ||
| He believed that he's an intellectual. | ||
| I forget what his actual discipline is. | ||
| Is he a biologist? | ||
| What is Rupert Sheldrake? | ||
| He's a mathematician? | ||
| I forget what exactly he does. | ||
| But he has this concept that everything has memory. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he believed in this thing called morphic resonance, that all these things are connected in some sort of indescribable, unmeasurable way. | ||
| But I'm probably butchering that. | ||
| But he also believes that things have memory, a type of memory. | ||
| And this is the reason why people don't want to live in a house where someone was murdered. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can feel it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't want to buy a car that someone blew their brains out in. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| Remember that movie, Stephen King movie, Christine? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Awesome. | |
| Better book. | ||
| Book's fucking incredible. | ||
| I hate when people say that, but it really is. | ||
| I never read the book. | ||
| The book is way more in-depth. | ||
| It's a slower process of the kid who owns the car going crazy. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| Someone died in the car. | ||
| The guy who owned it haunted the car. | ||
| So great. | ||
| I think that was the story, that someone died in the car. | ||
| So great. | ||
| No, things definitely... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You wouldn't even want to buy an asshole's car. | ||
| If you had some person who's really mean, who's a real shitty person, you wouldn't buy their car, drive around their car. | ||
| No, when you go to buy a car or buy a house, you walk in and you know if it fits you. | ||
| That's a thing. | ||
| It's a vibe. | ||
| You get it. | ||
| There's something there. | ||
| There's something beyond what you're seeing. | ||
| Yeah, like if you buy a house and you meet the owner and you get along great with them and you're real friendly, that's a nice feeling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're like, oh, we bought Mike's house. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| There's a little story to it. | ||
| And that's the thing with the store. | ||
| There is really a long story of show business in that spot. | ||
| And it is... | ||
| It's got many edges to it, which is just like comedy. | ||
| The thing that I loved about the store is not just that it's this historic place where all these great comics started out, like Kinison and Richard Pryor, and all these people made their mark there, but it's Right. | ||
| You work. | ||
| It's a gem. | ||
| It's got edge to it. | ||
| People went up on stage there too drunk. | ||
| They went up coked up. | ||
| They failed. | ||
| They got in fights with audience members. | ||
| It's got so much humanity to it. | ||
| The coolest part, I think... | ||
| Of the old crew was watching the Jim Carrey stuff. | ||
| How, you know, he was kicking ass and pretty successful and killing in the room and then changes his act and sucks for a long time. | ||
| He's leaving the impressions and going into other stuff. | ||
| I mean, the balls of that. | ||
| And you just see him in the hallway, there's pictures of him just sweating. | ||
| He's just drenched out because he doesn't know what he's doing. | ||
| But that they supported him and let him do that in that room like that. | ||
| Because, you know, when you're there, people are throwing fastballs. | ||
| Everyone's great and everyone's killing. | ||
| And then you've got to be humble to get up there and really stick to your guns and try your new shit and suck. | ||
| And when you saw the old guys that aren't really around anymore, was it Tim Thomerson? | ||
| Is that one of them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You saw these guys that... | ||
| What they said was like a killer. | ||
| It seemed like a killer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you realize, like, oh, these guys come in waves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I mean, there's these guys that if you don't know any better, like, you might not know who Rick Ingram is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you might not have to follow that motherfucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And he's throwing some 94 miles an hour right down the pipe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Woo! | ||
| You're there with your new notes. | ||
| Good luck, bitch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or, you know, you might go on after Sarah Silverman murders, or you might go on after Eliza Schlesinger gets a fucking standing ovation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That place is crazy, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And it was filled with good feelings and bad feelings, and there was a lot of emotions, and there was a lot of arguments, and there was a lot of tension. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Was the most camaraderie, the most warmth and supportive that I've ever felt it there. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| I attribute that to the internet and I attribute that to the podcast because I felt like it was a time of bounty. | ||
| It wasn't a time of famine. | ||
| And in the past, everyone had this famine mentality. | ||
| If you got a sitcom and I was trying out for the same part, I felt like you took something from me. | ||
| Like, fuck, there's only one part in the sitcom and Tom got it. | ||
| Or if you were trying out for a game show or you're trying out for a talk show and there's five of us are out for it and one of us gets it. | ||
| So there's this weird, creepy competitiveness. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And if you were on a morning radio show, and then there was a guy who was across town that was on the radio at the same time, you weren't his buddy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're friends, and we also have podcasts. | ||
| And I tell people, listen to Tom Papa's podcast. | ||
| Listen to Tom Papa's radio show. | ||
| Listen to Fortune Femston and Tom Papa on Sirius. | ||
| They're both great. | ||
| There's a camaraderie. | ||
| There's a different thing now. | ||
| It's very true. | ||
| We support each other. | ||
| I don't think of you and Fortune as being competitors. | ||
| I think you've been my friends. | ||
| Oh, you should. | ||
| What Fortune says about you. | ||
| Oh no! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no! | |
| Fortune, I love you! | ||
| Fortune, I love you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Why? | ||
| But there's none of that in this community. | ||
| Everybody does everybody's podcast. | ||
| That's a great insight. | ||
| It's never happened before. | ||
| No. | ||
| Never been like that before. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, even when we started. | ||
| Guys helped each other before a little bit, but only if it didn't hurt them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Now you don't have to worry about it hurting you. | ||
| It only helps you. | ||
| Like, if I help you, it only helps me because people know you're funny and they go, oh, I can listen to Joe because every time he tells you about a comic, I know they're funny. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he's telling the truth. | ||
| That's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which is why I won't have And I've had people ask, and I'm like, I can't do it. | |
| I can't do it. | ||
| Sometimes people get real edgy when they don't get a response. | ||
| I have to hide! | ||
| I have to filter myself. | ||
| I have to change my phone number. | ||
| That's where Jamie comes in. | ||
| He should insulate. | ||
| Good luck getting through Jamie. | ||
| Jamie's Fort Knox, motherfucker. | ||
| You ain't getting through that wall. | ||
| I think about Jamie every time something technologically doesn't work. | ||
| I'm like, Jamie can fix this in a second. | ||
| He'll figure it out. | ||
| But as far as getting through to him to get to the show, he is the least approachable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's impossible. | |
| I remember when I got a pilot or something. | ||
| And early on, and Giraldo, Greg Giraldo was my friend, said, we all went out to dinner with Esty and Manny from the Comedy Cellar, and Greg and his wife, and myself and my wife, and... | ||
| Greg took me aside and he said, dude, this is how much I love you. | ||
| I am genuinely happy for you. | ||
| I know people say, like, oh, I'm happy for you. | ||
| But it was so unusual to truly be happy for other comedians that he had to take me aside and say... | ||
| No joke. | ||
| I am so happy for you. | ||
| And he didn't have his own ego involved. | ||
| He didn't have any of that. | ||
| And at that time, you're right. | ||
| That was an unusual position to be in. | ||
| It was rare. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was rare. | |
| There's only a few friends that I had that we were real tight like that all throughout comedy. | ||
| Like Joey Diaz, for sure. | ||
| I was rooting for him. | ||
| Always Duncan Trussell. | ||
| There's a lot of those guys that I was real tight with from the beginning. | ||
| But Greg was, or Greg Giraldo, not just Fitzsimmons, just such a smart person. | ||
| Just an interesting person. | ||
| You know, I was really lucky. | ||
| I knew Greg from New York, but we also were on the set together because news radio was being filmed right next to his show. | ||
| Common law. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We were on the same set. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So I would hang out with them all the time. | ||
| We'd go out in the parking lot. | ||
| I'd run into them. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| We knew each other from LA. That's great. | ||
| Or from New York, you know. | ||
| That was a fun time. | ||
| And also the John Larroquette show was there, too. | ||
| I'm pretty sure... | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Wasn't Lenny Clark on the John Larroquette show? | ||
| That sounds familiar. | ||
| I'm pretty sure Lenny Clark was on that show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Something... | ||
| Yeah, it sounds familiar. | ||
| But that was there, too. | ||
| Was it Lenny Clark? | ||
| Was he on that show? | ||
| Yeah, that's a hard one. | ||
| Good luck spelling that. | ||
| Lenny Clark was on that? | ||
| And TV shows such as Constance, the Rob and John Laracette show. | ||
| Yes, okay. | ||
| So Lenny was there too. | ||
| I'm trying to remember it. | ||
| But I didn't run into Lenny as much, but I ran into... | ||
| And also, you know who else was there? | ||
| Joey Lawrence. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, Joey Lawrence, who used to sit in his car with his fabulous hair. | ||
| I was always so jealous of his hair, because it was right when my hair was really struggling. | ||
| And he would sit in his car, and he was like fucking 12 years old. | ||
| There's Lenny Clark! | ||
| Oh yeah, look at him. | ||
| I love that motherfucker. | ||
| God, what a force. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Ron Funches. | ||
| That's not Ron. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| He's so much older than Ron. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| Be mean to Ron. | ||
| Lenny Clark! | ||
| So they were right next door. | ||
| And Joey Lawrence, his show was there. | ||
| And so he would sit in his car. | ||
| He had like... | ||
| You know, he's like fucking 12 years old or something. | ||
| And he had some ridiculous... | ||
| He's probably 20. But he had some ridiculously expensive car that I could never afford. | ||
| And he'd be playing his own music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So he had his door open and he'd be like sitting there jamming to his own music really loud. | ||
| His own music? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I'd be like, look at that guy living the life. | |
| All I can think of is like, how many girls must be throwing themselves at Joey Lawrence? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's there playing his own music. | ||
| There he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at him. | |
| Look at his hair. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| I've never had hair that good. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| I had it for like a week. | ||
| When I was seven, my hair wasn't that thick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, there he is. | |
| Yeah, that 80s graffiti in the back and the big jackets. | ||
| He looks like Madonna. | ||
| He does look like Madonna. | ||
| He looks like Madonna. | ||
| Why does he have this shirt tied around his waist? | ||
| I feel like you could give that to shirts. | ||
| You're filming. | ||
| Hand that shirt off to somebody. | ||
| Is that like a look? | ||
| See, Joe, that's why you were never a heartthrob. | ||
| You don't understand the intricacies. | ||
| There's a lot of reasons why I was never a heartthrob. | ||
| I'm not good looking, you know. | ||
| He's adorable. | ||
| It's a different look that he's got. | ||
| Oh, I love picturing him in his car listening to his own music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what he would do. | ||
| And we would be like, well, look at that kid. | ||
| Living a life. | ||
| Living La Vida Loca. | ||
| I remember that when Greg was doing that show, he had this guy that was running the show who was just like... | ||
| We didn't know anybody from LA who wrote shows, so they just matched him up with some guy. | ||
| And he came by the cellar and I met him. | ||
| And I was just like, you know when you meet people who are like... | ||
| They just don't give a shit. | ||
| You could tell he was just getting paid. | ||
| It's just another pilot. | ||
| He's going to have 50 more. | ||
| He's already done 25. And we were like, you should really do this for Greg. | ||
| And he was just like, yeah. | ||
| And he just knew in his eyes, this guy's not really... | ||
| Gonna help, Greg. | ||
| Well, people don't know what we're talking about, but we should try to explain that there was a time where you would go to the Montreal Comedy Festival and you'd get a development deal. | ||
| And this is like everybody would cash in. | ||
| You'd go get a development deal and then they would try to do a pilot. | ||
| And I knew so many people that lost their fucking minds when they got deals to do a pilot. | ||
| I had a phone call from this guy, and I'm not gonna say his name, but he was a terrible comedian. | ||
| He calls you up and he says, hey, listen, I know you've got a show that you're working on right now, but I'm telling you, my show is going to go to air and I want you to play my brother. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| He's like, I know it's a smaller show, but this show is guaranteed to air. | ||
| Never aired. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| And he starts telling me all these crazy things, like there's a guaranteed pickup and if this doesn't pick up, then NBC Universal's got second position and they're going to pick it up. | ||
| He was drinking the Kool-Aid. | ||
| It was like the craziest conversation. | ||
| It's hard the first time around. | ||
| Nothing ever happened for him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nothing. | |
| Nothing ever happened for him. | ||
| When I mean nothing, I mean nothing. | ||
| I mean, that went away, and then he never really had a stand-up career, never had anything. | ||
| Who was it again? | ||
| I'm not saying. | ||
| But the conversation was so bizarre. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because he called me up. | ||
| I was in the middle of filming something. | ||
| And he was telling me, listen, forget that bullshit. | ||
| I've got a thing. | ||
| This is going to go. | ||
| It hits people's egos. | ||
| It hits so many people. | ||
| Yeah, that ego. | ||
| I knew someone who all of a sudden had an assistant. | ||
| I'm like, why do you have an assistant? | ||
| I don't have an assistant. | ||
| You just got off the plane. | ||
| I tell people, don't get an assistant. | ||
| Do less shit. | ||
| If you ever need an assistant, just do less things. | ||
| Sarah says that too. | ||
| Sarah Silverman says that. | ||
| Smart lady. | ||
| That's the move. | ||
| Do less things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't need a fucking assistant. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Some people like it. | ||
| It's the ego stroke of it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They know that famous people have assistants. | ||
| Someone shows up with a pad. | ||
| What would you like, Tom? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Latte? | |
| Latte? | ||
| Grande? | ||
| Grande latte, Tom. | ||
| Yeah, coming up with stuff for them to do. | ||
| But the problem with assistants is sometimes they taser you. | ||
| Like David Spade's assistant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| Fucking guy tried to kill him. | ||
| There's a lot of those stories. | ||
| That guy wanted to kill him. | ||
| Too close. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Way too close. | ||
| Yeah, well, maybe David wasn't nice to him. | ||
| I mean, let's just... | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I mean, probably not that big a stretch to say he felt a little demeaned. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what happened. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure he just... | ||
| He could misconstrue... | ||
| Could be! | ||
| Just his attitude. | ||
| The smug asides. | ||
| Yeah, that's how he talks. | ||
| He just thought he was serious. | ||
| He thought he was serious, exactly. | ||
| It was just jokes. | ||
| Just jokes. | ||
| But that was a heady time. | ||
| I kind of just missed that time. | ||
| Because that was the way for comedians was... | ||
| The sitcom. | ||
| That was the Roseanne, the Seinfeld. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Everybody was convinced that that was what you needed to do. | ||
| That was the formula. | ||
| And so you would do it, and then you would get on a show, and then hopefully people would come to see you at comedy clubs. | ||
| That's my strategy. | ||
| I was hoping I could get a special somewhere, and I was hoping someone would come to see me at comedy clubs. | ||
| I had the thing where I just never thought I was ready for it. | ||
| Even when I had my first pilot, it was like, yeah, we'll see! | ||
| And guys with huge egos would be like, This is my thing. | ||
| I'm going to make this the thing. | ||
| And I was always like, I don't know if I'm really... | ||
| People might think I have a huge ego. | ||
| Good enough. | ||
| Because it seems like I do. | ||
| But honestly, I've never thought that anything that I was doing was going to work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I always thought it was going to be canceled. | ||
| I never thought... | ||
| I did jokes about Fear Factor being canceled the very moment it was on the air. | ||
| And I'm like, I'm doing this show. | ||
| It is not going to fucking last. | ||
| They're sticking dogs on people and making them eat animal dicks. | ||
| How long are we going to do this? | ||
| Or even news radio. | ||
| That was a great show to kind of check your ego because I was only one of eight people. | ||
| And the other people, especially Phil Hartman and Dave Foley, were much more famous than me and much more talented. | ||
| And it was like I had an opportunity to do an apprenticeship. | ||
| I had an opportunity to learn what it's like to act. | ||
| I'd never taken... | ||
| I took a few acting classes, private lessons when I had gotten a development deal, but I never acted. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, a couple of months later, I'm on TV. Like, literally. | ||
| Very little preparation. | ||
| And I'm sitting there next to Phil Hartman. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| On a TV show. | ||
| And if you watch those old news radios, it looks like it. | ||
| Because my character had to be kind of innocent and stupid, and I was really into conspiracies, which they made. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Because of me, because I really was really into conspiracies. | ||
| They kind of turned my character that way. | ||
| But while I was there, I was kind of like, huh, is this really happening? | ||
| Even while I was doing it. | ||
| Well, that's what's wild about it, is a lot of moments in this career. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| Oh, so cute. | ||
| Oh, adorable. | ||
| Fresh-faced 27-year-old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| 27? | ||
| Yeah, back then. | ||
| It's weird because you get into a situation where you have to be great at it while you're learning it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that is a... | ||
| But the thing is... | ||
| But you were surrounded by good people. | ||
| And it's also... | ||
| It's sitcom acting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And stand-up is harder than that. | ||
| And I had already been doing stand-up for six years. | ||
| But were you... | ||
| Did you believe that when you walked in there? | ||
| Didn't you think this is... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This has got to be harder? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it's definitely easier. | ||
| Oh, I know it is, but when you first showed up on set, weren't you scared? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know this. | ||
| No, no, I thought it was easier, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. | ||
| Yeah, it was definitely easier. | ||
| Because you could do it again. | ||
| Like, you did it in front of a live audience if you fucked up. | ||
| Like, we fucked up all the time. | ||
| We would laugh about it, and then we would do a retake. | ||
| Like, I was always laughing when I would do scenes with Andy Dick. | ||
| I could never keep it together. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I'd try to keep a straight face, and I would always crack. | ||
| He was so funny, man. | ||
| I mean, he's so self-destructive and so crazy, but so fucking talented. | ||
| Andy Dick is literally one of the funniest human beings I've ever done anything with. | ||
| But after a while, you're like, I can't. | ||
| I can't do this anymore. | ||
| You're just too crazy. | ||
| But so talented. | ||
| And when he and I had this weird sort of dynamic on the show, and we had these hilarious scenes together, it was so hard to do. | ||
| So you'd be able to fuck up and laugh, and then... | ||
| The audience actually got a kick out of it. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Because they got to see how the sausage was made. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They got to see the behind the scenes. | ||
| Because you're breaking. | ||
| But way easier. | ||
| If you follow the line, they give it to you, you redo it. | ||
| It's a hundred times easier than you stand up. | ||
| Oh, it is, yeah. | ||
| But when you don't know it. | ||
| Yours was the Ray Romano role, right? | ||
| Well, sort of. | ||
| I took the Ray Romano role that someone else took. | ||
| See, what happens is Ray got fired from the pilot. | ||
| They brought in another guy for the pilot. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That guy did the pilot. | ||
| There was another guy on the original episode of News Radio that played me. | ||
| And then they fired that guy. | ||
| And then I entered into a cattle call. | ||
| And there was like a hundred dudes that auditioned for the part. | ||
| And I wound up getting it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, all right. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| But I had a development deal with NBC to do my own show. | ||
| Oh, so they could use your contract and put you in that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So in the middle of the development deal, they're trying to find me writers. | ||
| We're talking about different projects. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they say to me, hey, we have this show we'd like you to look at. | ||
| And they showed me this pilot, which is fucking genius. | ||
| And I just come from this Fox show, which started off really good. | ||
| The writers were hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They were really good writers. | ||
| They wrote for The Simpsons. | ||
| They wrote for Married with Children. | ||
| They were excellent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they got fucked over hard. | ||
| They brought in this producer and just ruined the show. | ||
| And all these network executives are getting their fucking spittle-laden fingers all over everything. | ||
| That's what's so hard. | ||
| That's what's so hard is that anytime you get that many people on anything, any organization, the idea you've got – that's where the luck comes in. | ||
| That all those people are going to be cool and not ruin it. | ||
| It's just something that's waiting to be ruined. | ||
| Yeah, everything where you get a lot of people together and try to create an art piece, good luck. | ||
| Tough. | ||
| Sometimes it works. | ||
| Yeah, but you know, that's like why the great directors, you know, like the Soderberghs and the Nolans. | ||
| James Camerons. | ||
| They end up working with a lot of the same people all the time. | ||
| Adam Sandler does that as well. | ||
| Yeah, because you have some control over the universe. | ||
| But you also know how each other works, and you all have a common goal, and you've done it before, so you know how to do it. | ||
| Or you have these people that are these super powerful figures like Cameron, who just takes control of everything. | ||
| I've heard James Cameron will grab a paintbrush, give me that fucking thing, you don't know what you're doing, and paint the wall, because it's just like he's got a vision. | ||
| And if they let him do it, you get Avatar. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Otherwise, you get fucking a bunch of other people, and then you get one of the more recent Star Wars movies, right? | ||
| You get a bunch of people trying to add this and that, and use a formula, and blah! | ||
| You get dog shit. | ||
| You get dog shit. | ||
| And that was the guy, back to the Geraldo thing, when I saw that guy, I knew he was one of those guys. | ||
| It was just like, ugh. | ||
| And then it just ended up like, oh, that's not Greg. | ||
| Well, after I did NewsRadio, I did have a development deal to do another show. | ||
| I think I might have had two different development deals. | ||
| I had one, then another one afterwards. | ||
| But I was like... | ||
| Really soured. | ||
| Because news radio was so good and the directors and the producers and the actors and everyone, the writers were so fucking good. | ||
| Those scripts were really great. | ||
| I would read this other stuff and I'd be like, this is horrible. | ||
| I can't do... | ||
| And also, the risk of... | ||
| The crew that we had were hard partiers that were really fun people. | ||
| Like me and Foley and Maura and some of the other folks on the show, we would get hammered. | ||
| I mean, after the show. | ||
| After the show film, we'd go to local bars, we'd walk to a local bar, or we'd drink on the set. | ||
| We would get blasted. | ||
| They were partiers, especially Foley. | ||
| He loved to drink. | ||
| And it was like there was a camaraderie to that. | ||
| And we always felt like we were outcasts. | ||
| We never made it, you know? | ||
| That show didn't become famous, really, until after it was canceled. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember thinking about writing and getting some news radio scripts from my agent. | ||
| They were so funny. | ||
| They're brilliant. | ||
| They were so tight. | ||
| Paul Simms is a legitimate genius. | ||
| They were tight. | ||
| But what a cool thing to be in that kind of an environment, because a lot of times you end up playing a dad or something, and it's like... | ||
| Your comedic brothers around you. | ||
| That's like a pirate ship. | ||
| It was like punk rock a little bit. | ||
| We were doing this show, but we knew that we were the underdogs. | ||
| We never had a good time slot. | ||
| We only had a good time slot once. | ||
| They put us on after Friends once, and we were number three. | ||
| We were like, holy shit. | ||
| We realized that's what it takes. | ||
| You have to be on after a really good show. | ||
| How long was it on? | ||
| We were on for five years, but the last year was the year after Phil was murdered. | ||
| So the last year was with John Lovitz. | ||
| He took over the Hartman spot, and he was a really good friend of Phil's. | ||
| He had done an episode before, and so he would probably be the only guy that we would have embraced to do that because it was just like he sort of fit that groove. | ||
| The toughest. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| He's such a funny cat. | ||
| That was the only year that we thought that it was going to come back. | ||
| Like, every year we thought it was going to be cancelled. | ||
| Like, first year, this is not going to make it. | ||
| Our ratings suck, and we made it back. | ||
| And then the fifth year, we were like, well, we're doing pretty good. | ||
| Cancelled. | ||
| Ah, weird. | ||
| They pulled the plug on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's weird. | |
| What people decide to cancel and don't decide to cancel, unless you're a giant hit, unless you're like Modern Family or something like that, you really never know. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| That's a fucking great show, Modern Family. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I never watched it. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| But my whole family got into it during the lockdown. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God, that's a good show. | ||
| Talk about great writing, great acting. | ||
| So well written. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So well acted. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| I auditioned for a role in it, and it was kind of okay. | ||
| But it was, what's his name? | ||
| You know, the husband. | ||
| I'm spacing on his name. | ||
| But it's one of those where you audition for something and then you watch somebody who got the role and you're like, oh yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's better than me. | |
| Good move. | ||
| I love Ed O'Neill too. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| I mean, to have that character, to have those two great characters, like married with children and then this. | ||
| I know. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Everyone on that is solid. | ||
| And the storylines are so good. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| It's just such a well-made show. | ||
| And the fact that it's done that way and that funny with no audience is incredible. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's all singing camera. | ||
| That means that there's people that know funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Because you can get in that situation and have somebody who, yeah, it's funny enough. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Right? | ||
| They don't have that level of what they know is funny. | ||
| Do you ever watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? | ||
| No. | ||
| One of the funniest shows on TV. Really? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| So good. | ||
| Tina Fey's. | ||
| Yeah, it's Tina Fey's show. | ||
| It's on Netflix. | ||
| I forget who the girl is, the red-headed girl, but the girl who plays Kimmy Schmidt and Titus Andromedus, the gay guy. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's fucking amazing. | ||
| He's a force. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| It's a hilarious show, man. | ||
| And it's a crazy show. | ||
| It's about a girl who gets kidnapped, brought into a sex cult, and locked into a bunker for 15 years. | ||
| So she gets released, and she has no idea how the world works. | ||
| But she's super innocent, but really positive. | ||
| It's fucking great. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| It's a really good show, man. | ||
| I love those characters. | ||
| What about Ted Lasso? | ||
| You seeing that one now? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| That's... | ||
| Oh, what's his name? | ||
| Jason Sudeikis. | ||
| No, I don't know what that is. | ||
| It's on, I think, on Apple. | ||
| So, similar character. | ||
| It's one of those Apple-only shows? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Those are weird. | ||
| Like, who's watching those? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This one seems like it's catching. | ||
| This one seems like, yeah. | ||
| And the same kind of character. | ||
| He's just wide-eyed and super optimistic football coach that comes to England to coach soccer. | ||
| That's a good premise. | ||
| And he's so positive. | ||
| He's just really just... | ||
| You can't break this guy. | ||
| And it's almost like a dumb optimism. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| He's so good in it. | ||
| Everyone on it is. | ||
| There's too much good stuff to watch right now. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Oh, you know what I did want to talk to you about? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I watched The Social Dilemma. | ||
| Oh, jeez. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| You know... | ||
| That's a must-see, kids. | ||
| I heard it's depressing. | ||
| Oh, so is real life. | ||
| Because it's so real. | ||
| Real life's depressing, Tom. | ||
| Listen to you. | ||
| Everything's gonna be fine. | ||
| Wear a mask. | ||
| I live in communist Russia. | ||
| Wear a mask. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| Gavin Newsom's penis tastes delicious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're all gonna be fine. | |
| We are going to be fine. | ||
| You think we exist on this plane and this plane only? | ||
| Ooh, that's heavy. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, because I've done a lot of drugs. | ||
| I think there's probably something else. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you've seen. | |
| I think there's something else out there, but just unaccessible right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this social dilemma makes me very concerned about the future. | ||
| Because all of these technologists and all these people that have invented all this stuff that... | ||
| Now are very unhappy. | ||
| It's really fascinating to see them discussing their own creations and see outsiders who are also technologists who didn't Didn't invent these things, but are seeing the patterns of these things and understand it from, you know, a really educated perspective. | ||
| They're saying this could lead to civil war. | ||
| Like, people are getting more and more divided. | ||
| And it shows in the film how social media has made people far more polarized, far more divided than ever before. | ||
| The red and the blue and the... | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You know, it's like... | ||
| It's disturbing. | ||
| What's the most dangerous part of it? | ||
| And can it be corrected? | ||
| Well, there's a lot of dangerous parts about it, but the thought bubbles, the fact that these people get in these bubbles of thought where everybody around you thinks your way and everybody who thinks a different way is the enemy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a really dangerous part of the reality that we live in today because it's not what we anticipated. | ||
| I thought that the internet and the age of information and all that we're experiencing right now would bring about an understanding and a nuanced perspective. | ||
| perspective in life in all ways. | ||
| You'd be able to see things from other people's perspectives more easily because it'd be more readily available and it would be more encouraged for you to seek out all this information. | ||
| But a bunch of factors that happen at the same time all have sort of made it worse than ever before. | ||
| And one of them is Trump. | ||
| Trump being such a polarizing figure and whether or not it's justified and how much of it's justified and how much of it is liberal propaganda and how much of it is Republican propaganda. | ||
| When you look at the way people feel about him and the things they equate with him, like they equate white supremacy and anti-immigrant mentality and xenophobia and all these different things they think and a lack of empathy, which like they equate white supremacy and anti-immigrant mentality and xenophobia and all these different If it's If you could say anything about Trump, one of the things you would say that's negative is he seems to not be empathetic. | ||
| He doesn't seem to care about other people the way you would want a leader to care about people. | ||
| You don't buy it. | ||
| Even when people die, like when John McCain died, he still never had any empathy for the guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| There's so many, and it's so easy to look at him, and even though in his mind, he's got to be a tough guy, if people come at him, he's going to come back at them, but this is sort of the mentality that someone takes if you're battling trolls online. | ||
| You don't understand, like, you, as the president, you're in this rare position. | ||
| You can't be responding to individuals. | ||
| Because you're too big. | ||
| You represent a different thing. | ||
| You're not Donald Trump anymore. | ||
| You're Donald Trump who is also the president of the United States. | ||
| And if you don't adjust the way you communicate with people and bring people together... | ||
| And one of the things that Obama did brilliantly Was he made you feel like America was something you could be proud of because that guy's representing you. | ||
| This really articulate, super smooth statesman who seemed elegant and he seemed like composed. | ||
| And when he would speak, regardless of his policies, you know, regardless of the criticism you might have of his administration, the way he handled the role of president... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perfect. | |
| Perfect. | ||
| A-plus. | ||
| A-plus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No pettiness. | |
| No, I mean, I think he called Kanye jackass once. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's about it. | |
| What might have led to Kanye wanted to be president. | ||
| He might have fucking made Trump be president. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| That White House Correspondents dinner where he shit on Trump, and you see Trump going there, him. | ||
| Yes, Seth Meyers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm one thing you'll never be, which is President of the United States. | |
| Everyone's laughing and he's just glaring up at the dais. | ||
| No, that was a moment. | ||
| That psychopath, he took you up on that little challenge. | ||
| But you take someone that has lack of empathy and doesn't really see the responsibility of the office and what he says, and you combine that with that technology. | ||
| That's a dangerous combination. | ||
| It is. | ||
| You're asking a guy to change who he is at 73. Right. | ||
| Or 72, whatever he was when he got in. | ||
| 71? | ||
| I think it was 71 when he got in. | ||
| You're asking a guy in his 70s to change who he is. | ||
| And the thing that made him successful, the reason why he was in all these rap songs, like if you go back and listen to rap music in the 80s and 90s, Trump's name was thrown up all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He was that guy. | ||
| He was that guy with the big gold letters on his fucking building. | ||
| Yeah, and fighting with Rosie O'Donnell and calling her a pig and all that stuff. | ||
| All that stuff. | ||
| Well, that was okay back then for some reason. | ||
| He would call her terrible names on the Conan O'Brien show or whatever show he was on. | ||
| Because he was a television celebrity. | ||
| Letterman, yeah. | ||
| But he was famous for being that guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that guy became president. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| And there's always a polarization. | ||
| There's always a group of people that hate the president because they didn't vote for him, and they want him to fuck up, and they want him to fail, and they want everything that he's doing to be wrong. | ||
| But do you remember when they got mad at Obama for wearing a tan suit? | ||
| Yeah, it was horrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you remember that? | |
| Yeah, it was like the greatest violation of the office. | ||
| And they made a big deal about it. | ||
| Or when he fist bumped his wife. | ||
| The outrage. | ||
| Why do you fucking care about this? | ||
| I know. | ||
| He's got a nice suit on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks good. | |
| Look good in that suit. | ||
| So there's that, right? | ||
| There's Trump as a figurehead, which accelerates everything. | ||
| He's gasoline on an already raging wildfire. | ||
| He loves keeping the temperature At maximum. | ||
| He wants everything at a hot boil. | ||
| And you really feel it. | ||
| You know that that's the thing of that office. | ||
| He could calm this situation down. | ||
| He could make you all relax. | ||
| I think he knows how to do it. | ||
| And he exists. | ||
| He's like the only one who's comfortable. | ||
| Like, you ever go out with a girl who loves to fight? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And just... | ||
| She's only comfortable because that's the way she was raised. | ||
| And they get mad if you don't want to fight back. | ||
| Yes, that's him. | ||
| That's him. | ||
| He wants to fight. | ||
| He'll bring shit up until you take the bait and there's a fight on and then they calm down and you're having a nervous breakdown. | ||
| So it's not all his fault though. | ||
| There's social media and the divide that comes, and this is where the social dilemma comes in place, there's a divide that comes about because of the way they've engineered these algorithms, which is really disturbing. | ||
| So whatever you're into, it finds those things and accentuates them, because it just wants you to stay on more. | ||
| It wants you to engage more. | ||
| It wants you to pay attention to the things. | ||
| Now, Ari Shaffir did a little bit of a study on this, a little bit of a test. | ||
| And he only YouTubed puppies. | ||
| That's all he would YouTube. | ||
| Just YouTube puppies. | ||
| Just to see what happened. | ||
| And all YouTube would send him is puppies. | ||
| Right. | ||
| All they would show him, all they would suggest is puppies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Is a little disingenuous. | ||
| Because what they're really doing is finding what you're interested in. | ||
| And people have been shown to pay attention to what they disagree with far more than what they agree with. | ||
| The algorithm spits you things that you disagree with more. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Because you get engaged with that and you get angry. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| That was a part of the movie. | ||
| It was showing how things that people disagree with, things that make people upset, those are the things that people are much more likely to engage with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're like, fuck you, fucking liberals, or fuck you, you fucking racist. | |
| Everyone's racist. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| It's this thing that is a part of being a person, where you seek, especially when you don't feel like you're being heard. | ||
| When you're at home, and you're sitting on the toilet, and you're going through Facebook, and you see some shit about, what the fuck, burn the flag, you motherfuckers! | ||
| And you start making these messages, and you're more likely to do that than seeing some beautiful story about these parents that adopt this kid, and they give him a home, and he comes from a bad part of the world. | ||
| You're not going to go, way to go for you. | ||
| Let me write down all the amazing things about what you're doing. | ||
| Isn't that terrible? | ||
| Yeah, you're going to get mad. | ||
| Or if you're on the left, you're going to get mad because of the wildfires. | ||
| You're going to blame them on Trump and climate change and all these different things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gets your outrage going. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, so many people think Trump's responsible for the wildfires. | ||
| Listen, folks, those fucking fires were going to happen regardless of who is president. | ||
| Now, whether or not he is putting in policies that's going to protect people 10, 20 years from now, that's a real argument. | ||
| But the fucking fires that are going on right now are not because of Trump. | ||
| It takes a long time to turn that battleship. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| It's not his fault. | ||
| And I'm not saying he's done good things for the environment. | ||
| That's not what I'm saying. | ||
| He's not plotting a future that you think will help out these fires in the future. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You do have to take into consideration... | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| Everybody's applauding Newsom for saying that they're going to eliminate these gasoline-powered cars by 2035. Finally! | ||
| You can't... | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Because you and I both have Teslas. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Those batteries don't come free. | ||
| You have to get lithium out of the ground. | ||
| I mean, they're fucking literally staging military coups. | ||
| There was a story about... | ||
| See, there was a thing, there was a controversy, because Elon Musk made a tweet. | ||
| And I think the tweet was something, we'll coup whoever we want to, or something crazy. | ||
| He was just responding to someone. | ||
| I think he was just joking around about it. | ||
| But people were saying, here it is. | ||
| We will coup whoever we want, Elon Musk and the overthrow of democracy in Bolivia. | ||
| He probably shouldn't say that, Elon. | ||
| He's probably joking around. | ||
| But the idea is that lithium, which is a primary component of these batteries, you're gonna need a massive amount of that shit. | ||
| And that shit is called conflict minerals. | ||
| Conflict minerals, one of the reasons why they call them that is because these fucking minerals are in the Congo, they're in Afghanistan, they're in all these places that are, you know, there's a lot of people vying for them, like China's trying to get into the Congo. | ||
| Blood diamonds. | ||
| Yeah, it's, well, it's a little sketchier than diamonds. | ||
| You're gonna need a whole lot more of it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And You need it to get batteries. | ||
| It's not like it's a free ride to get batteries. | ||
| Yeah, but, you know, so you lose democracy in Bolivia. | ||
| At least there's no more fires. | ||
| At least the air's better. | ||
| I don't think it works that way. | ||
| Everything's a little evil. | ||
| I don't think it works that way. | ||
| I think we gotta figure out how to suck carbon out of the air. | ||
| They have figured that out. | ||
| There's like small-scale versions of these things that look like... | ||
| It looks like an air cleaner that's the size of a skyscraper. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and they've talked about implementing these things to actually extract carbon from the atmosphere. | ||
| What about that soil documentary? | ||
| Did you see that one where they... | ||
| It's all about the soil. | ||
| That's fucking terrifying. | ||
| Like sucking... | ||
| Like if you heal the soil, you'll heal the earth. | ||
| Well, regenerative farming is the best way to heal the soil. | ||
| And there are some people that are experts on regenerative farming. | ||
| And regenerative farming is essentially what they're doing is farming the way they farmed thousands of years ago or hundreds of years ago. | ||
| The way you're supposed to, like, ruminants, animals, eat grass, they shit, the manure actually brings these nutrients back into the earth and that acts as fertilizer for new plants to grow. | ||
| You rotate the crops. | ||
| And it's supposed to have a carbon neutral effect when it's done correctly. | ||
| The problem is, we've adapted to this world where you want to pull in a jack-in-the-box, get a cheeseburger in five seconds, and that has got to be cheap meat, and cheap meat comes from factory farming, and factory farming is universally regarded as fucking disgusting. | ||
| Horrible. | ||
| So, that way, you've got trucks, and you've got all these fucking animals, and they're eating terrible food, and it's all gross. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, from top to bottom, it's gross. | ||
| Horrible. | ||
| Horrible. | ||
| And it's a new documentary on Netflix. | ||
| I forget the name of it. | ||
| What do you have? | ||
| Kiss the Ground. | ||
| Kiss the Ground. | ||
| Really good, because it's kind of one of those that actually gives you some hope. | ||
| You're like, well, this isn't that complex of a solution that could actually change things. | ||
| What is their solution? | ||
| What are they trying to do? | ||
| They're trying to... | ||
| Regenitor farming? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| The thing about regenerative farming, though, is I don't know if it will work at scale. | ||
| Like, we had Joel Salatin on a few... | ||
| Well, we've had him on twice, but we had him on a few months back. | ||
| There's a guy who doesn't give a fuck about coronavirus, by the way. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Older fella, farmer, healthy as an ox. | ||
| Drinks out of the trough where the cows drink. | ||
| Because he says he gets that biome into his gut. | ||
| He wants that. | ||
| He wants all the bacteria. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Doesn't wash his hands. | ||
| Doesn't get sick. | ||
| That's why I feel comedians have kind of been strong. | ||
| We're traveling. | ||
| We're in front of all these people. | ||
| You're holding mics. | ||
| There are other grubby comedians. | ||
| Well, that's the argument about prisoners, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most prisoners are asymptomatic from coronavirus, which is fascinating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they're just surrounded by germs all the time. | ||
| Yeah, you would think they're so stressed out. | ||
| Like, here they are in fucking jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's about as stressful as life gets. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| But everyone's coughing in everybody's mouth, and they're fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| But yeah, I know, your immune system, you know, it gets ramped up and it goes to work. | ||
| By the way, what's going on with Harvey Weinstein? | ||
| He's fat and old, and he got coronavirus when he was in jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody heard a peep out of that guy. | ||
| Yeah, because he's probably in a house in the Hampton. | ||
| You never heard about that guy, right? | ||
| You don't hear about him at all anymore, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He's the one that started it all. | ||
| There was a rapper who just got sent back to jail for social distancing violation. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Sent back to jail? | ||
| Sent back to jail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He shot at Chief Keefe. | ||
| You can't be shooting him! | ||
| That's what I say. | ||
| He shot at him, though. | ||
| He didn't shoot him, but they sent him to jail, and then they released him because of the coronavirus, and they got pictures of him at a party, having a good old time, and it was like, oh, he's social distance violating, so they put him back in jail. | ||
| What a dummy. | ||
| Can you imagine that? | ||
| I didn't know you could go back to jail for violating social distancing rules. | ||
| Well, this seems like a special case. | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| If you get out of jail for shooting at somebody because you might get a cold. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, he's a young guy, too. | ||
| He'll probably shake it off like that. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Just play by the rules. | ||
| Just turn it down a notch. | ||
| Yeah, if I was his lawyer, I'd be like, bro. | ||
| Stay inside. | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| I know you like partying, but do you have a mask? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wear a mask when you party, like a Halloween mask. | ||
| Yeah, right, exactly. | ||
| Just put on a big thing. | ||
| Yeah, this is the dude. | ||
| Takeshi69 ex-associate, Kuda B, I like that name, headed back to prison for party stunt. | ||
| Well, they're calling it a party stunt. | ||
| They were calling it a social distance violation. | ||
| What would you think? | ||
| He hasn't even been sentenced yet, apparently, so he might have got out early while he was being held. | ||
| Caught on tape partying with a large group of people in a Brooklyn apartment soon after his April release. | ||
| Manhattan federal judge called the decision to have a party after receiving social distancing orders. | ||
| An astonishing stunt. | ||
| And he ordered... | ||
| Cuda? | ||
| Cuda. | ||
| To surrender to U.S. Marshals no later than 2 p.m. | ||
| October 15th. | ||
| So he's got some days to party. | ||
| So it's only the 6th. | ||
| Homeboy's got 9 days to fucking have a good old time. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| Maybe we need face tattoos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| It's like all the cool kids got them. | ||
| No, we're too old, dude. | ||
| Are we? | ||
| If you get a face tattoo and you're our age, people frown upon that. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Yeah, they think you're suicidal. | ||
| You're losing your mind. | ||
| Maybe you get a nice little star on your cheek. | ||
| Just a little tiny one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey. | ||
| Why not, man? | ||
| Like the NBC thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| The more you know. | ||
| What if you got your lips done? | ||
| Like, just real subtle. | ||
| Like, you came and your lips were darker. | ||
| I'd be like, what's going on with your lips, Tom? | ||
| What? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They were always this way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, all of a sudden, your lips are dark. | |
| I don't know if you caught what he was in jail for, by the way. | ||
| Shot at Chief Keef. | ||
| He paid someone to. | ||
| Oh, he paid someone to cut that. | ||
| According to McKenzie's confession, Takeshi69 paid that guy to shoot at Chief Keef. | ||
| Supposedly, in an attempt to scare the rival rather than seriously injure him, instead, Kuda opted to outsource the shooting to someone else, but still pled guilty to assault with a dangerous weapon in aid of racketeering, which is a maximum prison sentence of 20 years. | ||
| He's only 22 years old, but likely to spend the next couple of decades behind bars. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| So he was out? | ||
| Are they gang-related? | ||
| He has not yet been sentenced, so he was being held with a bunch of other people who were backed up in the court system. | ||
| Oh, so they let him out just... | ||
| Like on bail. | ||
| On bail. | ||
| Maybe he wasn't ran to bail or something. | ||
| So they're like, well, now you're not out on bail. | ||
| You violate it. | ||
| He's going to jail for a long fucking time. | ||
| I hope he got another face tattoo before he went in. | ||
| He should have got a raft and gone to Cuba. | ||
| Could you escape? | ||
| Like, if you had to go on the run, okay, you get busted for something. | ||
| Maybe you didn't do it, but the fuzz is coming for you. | ||
| Would it be possible to escape the law for the rest of your life nowadays? | ||
| I was talking to a man who knows things. | ||
| And he was telling me that there is technology that they're working on that's going to let them hear fully clear, completely crystal clear conversations from satellites. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| You mean person-to-person conversation? | ||
| I mean you, in your house, having a conversation with your wife. | ||
| They're going to be able to hear you from a satellite. | ||
| They just tune into your house. | ||
| They're going to be so bored. | ||
| I'm sure they will be, but not if they tune into Chief Keef's house. | ||
| They're gonna find some crazy shit going on. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| So like with GPS, they could pinpoint a house and listen to that conversation? | ||
| No one's hiding. | ||
| That's my point. | ||
| They're closing in on everything, and you're gonna get to the point where there's no hiding. | ||
| It's like that Tom Cruise movie. | ||
| Minority Report? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| When I saw that movie, it was like, oh, this is all definitely coming. | ||
| Right? | ||
| They were trading eyeballs because... | ||
| That was like future crime, right? | ||
| They'd catch you before you did something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| Before you did something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| Well, if you really believe in determinism... | ||
| If you could get a computer, you could devise a computer that's so powerful that it could accurately anticipate individual events crisscrossing and compiling together to create a specific result, and you knew they would force someone's hand to do something. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| It's not completely outside of the realm of possibility that one day, at least they could figure out a likelihood of things happening. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then where are you going to run? | ||
| Bolivia? | ||
| You ain't going anywhere, bro. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You could hide someplace. | ||
| Just keep walking into the ocean until you stop breathing. | ||
| I don't want to go to jail. | ||
| Like, what was it when you rat on the mafia and you got to go into a house in Arizona? | ||
| They did that for a while. | ||
| Was it relocation? | ||
| Yeah, witness relocation. | ||
| Yeah, witness protection. | ||
| Yeah, witness protection. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That worked, right? | ||
| We showed Sammy the Bold Gravano did that. | ||
| He's got a podcast now. | ||
| I don't think you're supposed to do that. | ||
| Yeah, he's third next to Hillary Clinton. | ||
| She's two. | ||
| Michelle Obama's number one. | ||
| Number one what? | ||
| On the ratings. | ||
| He should be... | ||
| On a podcast? | ||
| No, witness protection, you would think. | ||
| But he had, like, Tekashi69 just said, he's like, I'm coming out. | ||
| He ratted on people. | ||
| Yeah, but what is he doing? | ||
| Is he in witness protection at all? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| He's out in New York making music videos. | ||
| He's literally on the street corner passing out his CDs. | ||
| How come nobody's killed him? | ||
| I'll give him that. | ||
| But he's had to move his spot. | ||
| He's had houses where he got ratted on. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Of course they're going to rat on him. | ||
| He's a rat. | ||
| You're a rat. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Very popular. | ||
| Yeah, but how long before he runs out of money? | ||
| It costs a lot of money to have that kind of security. | ||
| Keep making it. | ||
| Yeah, keep coming up with some new beats. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're going to get a face tattoo, what kind of tattoo would you get? | ||
| If I was to get a face tattoo, I would get, I don't know, a little booger right underneath my nose. | ||
| Be serious. | ||
| Maybe a tattooed tear? | ||
| Scare everybody off? | ||
| Pretend you killed people in prison? | ||
| Yeah, let people think I killed people. | ||
| No, then gang members would be like, no you didn't, and they'd come get me. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Good call. | ||
| You don't want troubles. | ||
| Maybe it'll cause trouble. | ||
| I'm telling you, a little star on your cheek. | ||
| I like the star. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right here. | |
| Right in the upper cheekbone area. | ||
| Just a little tiny star. | ||
| What did Papa do? | ||
| Answer questions too. | ||
| Convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein to face new sex crimes charges. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| 11 counts in California. | ||
| This is new news. | ||
| 11 counts of sexual assault in the state of California where extradition proceedings have been put on hold due to the pandemic. | ||
| 11 counts. | ||
| So he had three more counts, I guess, got added to him. | ||
| Three more counts of rape and other sexual crimes involving two women. | ||
| He's already serving 23 years, and he's got to put a suit on and go defend himself more? | ||
| Jeez Louise. | ||
| Do you think if he left a gun in his cell, he would just blow his brains out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because he doesn't think he's getting out at this point. | ||
| No. | ||
| These charges keep piling up. | ||
| God. | ||
| Is he in jail, jail? | ||
| Oh, he's in Rikers, bro. | ||
| He's in Rikers? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he got COVID when he was in jail. | ||
| And they didn't send him home? | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| To get healthy? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's not at Rikers, but he is in jail somewhere. | ||
| Wasn't he in Rikers, though, at one point? | ||
| Maybe before he got sent to the Wendy Correctional Facility, Max Security. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| In New York, near Buffalo. | ||
| Man, oh man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Cosby's in jail. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| You ever remind yourself of that as you're going about through your day? | ||
| Bill Cosby. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's such a... | ||
| He's only in jail for a short amount of time. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Yeah, which is interesting. | ||
| He's only in jail for... | ||
| I believe he's in jail for one of those things that he did. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| I believe. | ||
| For a short amount of time? | ||
| I don't think he's in jail for very long. | ||
| I think he's in jail for like 10 years or something. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| It says 3 to 10 in state prison. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 3 to 10, so he'll be... | ||
| So he could get out on parole and still be alive, but he's almost blind, too. | ||
| Next year would be parole. | ||
| He was in jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
September 25th, 2018. Still won't admit he did anything. | |
| God. | ||
| Hold strong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he seems insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He seems completely insane. | ||
| Like, he was out at a barbershop before they put him in, and I don't know if he was on parole or on appeal, not on parole, on bail or on appeal, but he was at a barbershop with these guys, and they made a video of it. | ||
| It's so strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because he's acting as if nothing had happened. | ||
| Bill Cosby interviewed. | ||
| He expects to serve full 10-year sentence rather than say sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Jeez. | ||
| So he was just at the barbershop acting like he wasn't going? | ||
| He was holding court. | ||
| That's what he does. | ||
| Holding court at a barbershop, and they were talking about bands, like what guy was in what band, and they were talking trivia and shit. | ||
| He's probably doing the same thing in jail. | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| I bet he's got a lot of fans in jail. | ||
| I wonder how he's treated there, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure he's telling funny stories. | |
| That's him at the barber shop. | ||
| Play some of that. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The original. | |
| The original! | ||
| Okay, so there's... | ||
| So he's got that sweater on that says, hello, friend. | ||
| He's talking jazz. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| There's Connie Kay on the drum. | ||
| That's Alonzo Broden's older brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| No. | ||
| Come on, tell me that guy doesn't look like Alonzo Broden's older brother. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you any money on you? | ||
| He wants to bet them. | ||
| They're talking shit. | ||
| Let's hear it for one kidney, John! | ||
|
unidentified
|
One kidney, John! | |
| He's holding court. | ||
| He's talking about jazz musicians. | ||
| Who made this post? | ||
| That's Bill Cosby himself. | ||
| Bill Cosby hangs out to Marco's hair artistry. | ||
| And they have to put in quotes, barbershop. | ||
| In brackets. | ||
| Yesterday with friends. | ||
|
unidentified
|
January 21st, 2018. Look at his hashtags. | |
| Go Eagles, Philadelphia. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| God, what a weird story. | ||
| Man, oh man. | ||
| So he thinks that it was just... | ||
| He was just with some ladies. | ||
| That's in his head. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Dude, when I was on news radio, we heard about him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We had heard about him drugging people. | ||
| You did? | ||
| Yeah, it was a rumor. | ||
| It was always a rumor. | ||
| It was always a thing that people had heard. | ||
| They knew someone who knew someone. | ||
| They knew something. | ||
| It was always out there. | ||
| So when Hannibal Buress was on stage and he was talking about that, that was not something that was unknown. | ||
| No, I mean, he said in his set, right? | ||
| Just Google it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then that's what starts it all, which is just bananas. | ||
| One set that someone films on their phone, gets up on YouTube, and everybody's like, wait, what? | ||
| And everybody outside the industry... | ||
| Woke up. | ||
| Goes, Cosby? | ||
| Cosby? | ||
| Bill Cosby. | ||
| Like, the Cosby show. | ||
| Like, America's dad. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, the Jell-O pudding guy. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| The adorable guy. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| So awful. | ||
| I wish you could read a person's mind. | ||
| 2014. Yeah. | ||
| When that happened. | ||
| With Hannibal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| I wish you could read a person's mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, I really want to know. | ||
| I want to know. | ||
| Sounds like those satellites are going to do it. | ||
| We're going to hear your mind. | ||
| We're going to hear your words. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I don't think we're too many decades away from being able to actually read your mind. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Someone was convicted of a crime in India back in the day, and we covered this when I did that Joe Rogan Questions Everything show, because of fMRI. | ||
| FMRI is functional magnetic imagery, and I think that's the right terms. | ||
| But basically, it's reading the mind and reading patterns that And they decided that this person, I think it might have been a woman, was convicted of a crime because they had functional knowledge of the crime scene. | ||
| Now, this was in another country, I believe it was in India, and I talked to a neuroscientist in America, and they said, you would never accept this in America because functional knowledge of a crime scene could be obtained by just examining evidence. | ||
| If someone charged you with a murder, said, Tom, I know you killed that guy, and you're like, what? | ||
| And then they show you the photos, you would have access to the information. | ||
| And if you had that in your head, thinking, oh my god, someone killed this person, and now they're blaming it on me, how could they think I did it? | ||
| And you could possibly have functional knowledge of where it happened and what happened, just based on someone describing to you what you've been charged with. | ||
| How do you find out if someone has functional knowledge? | ||
| They don't really know. | ||
| In Italy, people were charged that were seismologists because they didn't warn people in time for an earthquake that took place. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, because they're Italians. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| They don't know no better. | ||
| So they charge people. | ||
| Now, in America, you could never charge a size model. | ||
| I believe that's true. | ||
| See if that's true. | ||
| If that was in Italy, I'm asking you to Google a lot of shit that may or may not be real. | ||
| It seems like so early, like other century, like, she's a witch! | ||
| Yeah, it does seem like that. | ||
| That's why it rains! | ||
| She's a witch! | ||
| And actual seismologists and scientists all over the world were aghast. | ||
| You can't fucking charge people with not warning you about something that's utterly unpredictable. | ||
| Italian seismologists cleared of manslaughter. | ||
| Okay, so they were charged. | ||
| They came to their senses. | ||
| Six scientists did not cause deaths in 2009. But what's crazy is that that actually went to court. | ||
| So these poor guys had to defend themselves in court. | ||
| That they should have known that this earthquake was coming. | ||
| That is old world, isn't it? | ||
| That's very old world. | ||
| Hey, I'm here to eat on my spaghetti! | ||
| The fucking earth starts moving! | ||
| The earthquake! | ||
| That guy's got a Geiger counter! | ||
| How much I pay that guy? | ||
| How much I pay him? | ||
| Who's the guy with the Geiger counter? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Get him! | ||
| How come he don't know? | ||
| We're both Italian. | ||
| We can get away with talking like this. | ||
| He should have told me! | ||
| Do you know I look like a famous Italian film star? | ||
| Who? | ||
| Carlo Verdone. | ||
| How much do you look like? | ||
| Could you go over there? | ||
| I got into a taxi cab in Rome and this kid fell out. | ||
| It's like 22 year old kid was just like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Verdone's in my cab! | |
| Verdone's in my cab! | ||
| And he called his family. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He made me get on the phone with him. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's pretty close, right? | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| I think it's insulting. | ||
| You should be mad. | ||
| That guy looks like he's 10 years older than you and he's gonna die tomorrow. | ||
| Well, he is older. | ||
| But he's, like, he's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a fucking Fatone! | |
| He's one of the comedic actors. | ||
| Make that face. | ||
| Oh, he's doing... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Hey! | ||
| What's in the bowl, bitch? | ||
| That one's pretty close. | ||
| That's pretty close. | ||
| That's pretty close. | ||
| Give me a smile with your lips closed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh, wow. | |
| Is it close? | ||
| Very, very. | ||
| This kid lost his mind. | ||
| He's like, Verdoni's in my... | ||
| It took me the whole ride to convince him I wasn't Verdoni. | ||
| If someone didn't have a phone on them where they couldn't Google the actual Verdoni, you could probably pull it off. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I bet. | ||
| I'm gonna go find him. | ||
| I like that one with the pointing at you, the glasses, like he's a badass. | ||
| Yeah, that's me and my sunglasses. | ||
| That's you, bro. | ||
| Carlo Verdone! | ||
| Verdone! | ||
| That's Carlo Verdone! | ||
| That's you, bro. | ||
| I wish I spoke Italian. | ||
| Well, you can learn. | ||
| It's not that hard. | ||
| It's not like you'd want to breathe underwater, the lazy fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Get a nap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wish. | |
| I wish I could do something that I don't do right now that other people do easily. | ||
| I just don't have the energy. | ||
| No, I don't think my brain can handle it. | ||
| You think you can learn a whole language right now? | ||
| Of course I could. | ||
| No way. | ||
| Of course I could. | ||
| I don't want to, but of course I could. | ||
| While you're living your life here, not going over to Italy and... | ||
| Yes, you could. | ||
| It would just require a lot of time. | ||
| There would have to be a real reason for you to do it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Look, if I had a wife and she was Italian and she was talking a lot of shit. | ||
| The way you said it, though, you don't need to learn the whole language. | ||
| We don't know the whole English language. | ||
| We know a good portion of it and how to talk with it, but we don't know the whole thing. | ||
| Talk with it. | ||
| Apparently Russian is a really hard one to learn. | ||
| I took that in freshman year in college. | ||
| It's not as hard as you think. | ||
| But what about the writing? | ||
| No, they just have a little, a couple blocky letters. | ||
| But, uh, it's not as complicated. | ||
| Yeah, there's something about it that's... | ||
| They say that English is much harder than... | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Russian, yeah. | ||
| Learning it the other way is really a bit... | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So Russians have a hard time learning English. | ||
| English can learn Russian better. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I only took it for a semester, and the guy let you take the test as many times as you needed to pass. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But it wasn't that mind-blowing, yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I would think just the language itself, the written language would be really hard. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| It's fucking cool looking. | ||
| Yeah, it is really cool. | ||
| My daughter is studying Italian in college. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| And it's like every day you have to take it, five days a week. | ||
| It's pretty immersive. | ||
| That's how you learn it. | ||
| Yeah, that's the move, right? | ||
| If you go to an immersion school and you have to teach... | ||
| They teach every class in the language. | ||
| They don't speak any English to you. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Or go live in Rome, pretend you're Verdone. | ||
| Fitzsimmons kids went to a Spanish immersion school. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they learned it. | ||
| Yeah, you just learn. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You speak Spanish every day. | ||
| You have to do it all the time. | ||
| It's just that thing. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| I wish I could learn something that other people know that I could learn. | ||
| It is lazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not lazy. | |
| Well, listen. | ||
| I'm busy. | ||
| You could do it. | ||
| I have a lot of stuff going on. | ||
| It would require many hours a day, many days in a row, probably for years before you got adept at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it could be done. | ||
| How long until I could get by on a trip? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I can't speak another language. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| There's always Rosetta Stone commercials. | ||
| They promise you can get fairly good at it in like 90 days or something. | ||
| But I think you have to put a lot of time into it. | ||
| It's like anything else. | ||
| I think you're better off being retired. | ||
| But isn't there a thing with the brain that if you learn it when you're like 14, it's much easier than when you're 50? | ||
| I think it's younger. | ||
| I think it's really young. | ||
| When you're really young, kids... | ||
| I mean, think about how quick kids speak English. | ||
| My daughter, one of my daughters, was speaking really young. | ||
| She was at one years old. | ||
| She was speaking in full sentences. | ||
| It was really weird. | ||
| Like, she's really smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But at one years old, she would ask me questions. | ||
| Daddy, what is this? | ||
| And why is that? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| One. | ||
| One. | ||
| Imagine you speaking full Italian in one year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That'd be crazy. | ||
| That would be crazy. | ||
| Man, that would be fun, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just want to be able to handle myself in a restaurant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like really well. | ||
| Be able to talk about the wine. | ||
| Well, Google has these earbuds that will translate languages in real time. | ||
| Oh yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So with this Google app, someone can talk to you as long as they speak clearly, like clear enough for it to transcribe. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They will be able to say it back to you in real time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Will be able to or can? | ||
| No, Ken, I'm pretty sure it's the Pixel Buds, Pixel Earbuds. | ||
| See if that's... | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| That's true, yeah. | ||
| That's really great. | ||
| You know, it's interesting, right? | ||
| There's arguments for both Android and Apple. | ||
| And one of the arguments for Apple, or one of the arguments for Android, rather, see what it is, where it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Then say, help me speak Spanish. | |
| To launch conversation mode on the Translate app. | ||
| When you're ready to speak to someone in another language, press and hold the earbud and speak in your native language. | ||
| Good afternoon. | ||
| What are the menu specials today? | ||
| Oh, the phone takes it over for you. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| When the person responds, the translated message will play directly into your Pixel Buds. | ||
| To learn more, visit the Google Pixel Buds Help Center. | ||
| That ain't working. | ||
| He talks and... | ||
| It's enough for you to make a drug transaction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm here to get a marijuana. | |
| Cocaine. | ||
| Cocaine. | ||
| There is not one time when I transcribe just in my English to my text where it nails it. | ||
| Well, Google is better. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| They're much better at it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I use... | ||
| I have an Apple phone and I have an Android phone. | ||
| Oh, you do? | ||
| My Apple phone is my primary phone. | ||
| And I use my Android phone more to fuck around with than anything, but I'm fucking around with a few things on it. | ||
| And one of the things is how well it picks up your voice and how well it transcribes it. | ||
| So here's the argument. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Apple is much better with your privacy. | ||
| They're much better with your privacy. | ||
| Like when you use Apple Maps, it's not sending your data to anyone. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But it's one of the reasons why Apple Maps is not as good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Google Maps are better. | ||
| Because they're sharing it. | ||
| It's just better. | ||
| They're getting data constantly from you. | ||
| They're getting data from all the other drivers. | ||
| They're sharing that data. | ||
| They're compiling that data. | ||
| And they're also sending ads your way to profit off of this to make it profitable. | ||
| So because of that, because Google is just sucking up data constantly, they can provide you with better services. | ||
| So they have an amazing search engine. | ||
| But that was one of the things about the social dilemma. | ||
| The search engine gives different results based on where you are. | ||
| Like say if you type, they use an example, climate change. | ||
| Like if you write, climate change is, it might say, a hoax. | ||
| Or climate change is a terrible threat. | ||
| Depending on where you live. | ||
| Just where you are? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It might give you one thing, but if you live in Waco, Texas, it might give you another thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, and it's based on what it thinks you want to see. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| It's just reinforcing people's dumb ideas. | ||
| That's why I use DuckDuckGo. | ||
| DuckDuckGo does not do any of that stuff. | ||
| And it also, it gives you things, it doesn't send your data somewhere. | ||
| It protects your privacy. | ||
| So you put climate change is on DuckDuckGo. | ||
| No, I put chicks with dicks. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| And then no one knows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No one knows. | |
| I got a burner phone with DuckDuckGo on it. | ||
| You put whatever you want. | ||
| The results are not curated. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's just giving you the most applicable results for the things that you're looking for. | ||
| But it's not doing it in a way where it's curating it for your own interest. | ||
| If you try to find things that are controversial, and we've tried to find that on the podcast before, Where Jamie will Google something and I'll know it to be correct, but Google will not show that it's correct because maybe the correct answer is not politically correct. | ||
| So you have to go through several pages and maybe you even have to Google it in a very specific way to get to the heart of the science behind what's wrong with the consensus opinion. | ||
| The consensus opinion might be wrong. | ||
| That's the case with a lot of nutrition things. | ||
| It's the case with a lot of things regarding anything controversial, anything where there's a political motive to sway the argument one way or the other. | ||
| It's so amazing how deep you have to dive, to cross-reference stuff, to really try and assemble a truthful opinion. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| So with all this stuff, do you have all these people from Twitter and Google and stuff who are saying what we did or Facebook was horrible and we really kind of effed things up. | ||
| Do they feel like they can also correct this problem? | ||
| I don't know if you can put the cap on the bottle. | ||
| I don't know if you can do that. | ||
| I don't know if you can do that. | ||
| I don't know if they know it either, because they didn't think it was going to happen in the first time. | ||
| Jack Dorsey was testifying, I think it was before Congress, and he was saying that 12 years ago when we created Twitter, we had no idea that this was going to be a situation that we hadn't anticipated. | ||
| No one ever saw this coming. | ||
| And if you go back and see the early Twitter, remember you would do the at, it would always show your name in front of every tweet. | ||
| So it'd be like, at Tom Papa is having pizza. | ||
| You would say what you were doing. | ||
| It was really weird how people would use Twitter. | ||
| But it was not political. | ||
| It was just fun. | ||
| No one knew what to do with it. | ||
| And then somewhere along the line, people started figuring out how to get in arguments. | ||
| I know, it's so bad. | ||
| We just always ruin everything. | ||
| It could be so great. | ||
| I remember when it first came out, it was like, wow, there would probably never have been slavery if there had been Twitter, because people would have exposed it so early, and it just seems so hopeful. | ||
| But of course, all the scummy people get it, and then just... | ||
| We're going to ruin it. | ||
| It makes people scummy, too, because it makes people more polarized. | ||
| It makes people more aggressive in reinforcing their idea of what the truth is and trying to stop other people. | ||
| And you're seeing so much suppression of other people's opinions and expression today, which is so strange. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's one of the weirdest times ever to look at the way human beings communicate. | ||
| Because of the tension. | ||
| We were talking about this earlier. | ||
| We never really finished the thought. | ||
| But you've got Trump. | ||
| Then you've got the pandemic. | ||
| Then you've got the economic collapse. | ||
| You have all these things happening. | ||
| So people are... | ||
| They're desperate, they're sad, and then you've got looting, and you've got the riots, and so you get racial tension, you've got violence, you've got this anti-police sentiment, which also leads to more instability in the streets, more instability in the cities, and less safety, and fear. | ||
| A lot of anxiety. | ||
| Fear of police, fear of gangs, fear of Antifa, fear of white supremacists, fear of everything. | ||
| It's like all this fucking... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you have people arguing online, really, literally addicted people. | ||
| People who are addicts. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| They're just as addicted as people who are gambling addicts, just as addicted to people that are sex addicts. | ||
| They're addicted to Twitter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're mentally ill people, and they're constantly engaging in conflict. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they're coming up on people's posts, and you don't know that you're interacting with mentally ill people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or people from other countries that are trying to incite it. | ||
| Assume you're interacting with mentally unwell people because almost everyone who's using it in that way is in one way or another mentally ill. | ||
| Or you put your phone in the drawer and you go to the park and all of a sudden everything calms down. | ||
| And then there's no cops because you wanted to defund the police. | ||
| Everything calms down and goes away because you're not living in this weird reality. | ||
| You're just living in real life and you're not participating in all of that. | ||
| That's what we'd all hope for. | ||
| The problem is there's so many people that are doing it. | ||
| Whether they're doing it on Facebook or Twitter or arguing, whatever things they're arguing about, it's spilling out into the real world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're in the park being all zen and all of a sudden a flash mob shows up that organized on Twitter and you're like, what the hell is happening here? | ||
| I was just all zen a minute ago. | ||
| So one thing that I wanted to bring up, we talked about before the podcast, that I actually read a whole article about. | ||
| We were talking about on the podcast whether or not Chris Cuomo was really lifting a 100-pound barbell. | ||
| Now, I had completely forgot we even talked about this until I stumbled upon an article online about it. | ||
| And in the article, it actually referenced us talking about it on the podcast. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He wasn't. | ||
| They think I'm quite stupid for believing that Chris Cuomo really had this 100-pound dumbbell that he was lifting up. | ||
| It looked very light. | ||
| It did look very light. | ||
| So my thought was, how big is Chris Cuomo? | ||
| Ah, that's a good point. | ||
| I thought he was bigger than he is. | ||
| So I googled it. | ||
| He's only 182 pounds, which says he's 6'2", 182 pounds. | ||
| I don't know if that's accurate. | ||
| That's, yeah. | ||
| 6'2", 180? | ||
| He doesn't look that lean. | ||
| He could be a thin guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He doesn't look that lean. | |
| But anyway, that makes him 20 pounds lighter than me. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So very unlikely that he's carrying that dumbbell like that. | ||
| So then I'm like, okay. | ||
| I gotta ask some people who would actually know. | ||
| So I sought out some people online, and one of them was Rob Kearney. | ||
| He's been on the podcast before. | ||
| He's World's Strongest Gay. | ||
| Oh yeah, I know that guy. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| I follow him. | ||
| Love that dude. | ||
| And I think he won recently a pound-for-pound strongman title. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Because he's not a big guy. | ||
| He's a tank. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a tank. | |
| But he's only about 5'10", maybe, but fucking gorilla strong. | ||
| So he says to me, so I say to him, have you ever seen the thing? | ||
| And he says, I just watched a video. | ||
| I think it's fake, LOL. He doesn't look to be bracing hard enough for it to be actually 100 pounds. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| He is kind of wishy-washy in his seat. | ||
| He's a real expert, right? | ||
| So he's an actual strong man. | ||
| So I'm pretty convinced. | ||
| So then I asked Robert Oberst, who's also... | ||
| Robert is fucking enormous. | ||
| Absolutely one of the strongest men in the world. | ||
| He's a Goliath. | ||
| You sit next to him, 300 plus pounds. | ||
| So he says, the picture looks possible because his elbow's up and stable, but the video where he's at his desk showing the weight off, he moves it around out at an angle that would be the smallest head of the top of the bicep taking all the weight, and it doesn't even faze him. | ||
| He said, if it's real, he's stronger than anyone I've ever seen use a dumbbell. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I'd say it's a 40 pound weight with 100 pounds written on it. | ||
| He said lots of insta-famous lifters have fake dumbbells and plates. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah, interesting. | |
| So two experts, Rob Kearney and Robert Oberst, both of them call bullshit, so I defer to them. | ||
| Wow, it does. | ||
| When he's sitting in the chair at the desk there, it looks very light. | ||
| When I saw he's 182 pounds, that might not be true. | ||
| Because I bet if you Google what my weight is, they probably don't know what my weight is either. | ||
| 100 pounds is a lot. | ||
| But 182 pounds for a man who's 6'2 is not a gorilla. | ||
| Like Brendan Schaub. | ||
| Okay, if Brendan Schaub was doing that, I'd go, I bet he could do that. | ||
| Brendan Schaub is 270 pounds, 260 plus pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's huge. | ||
| He's huge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But even then, it just seems light. | ||
| It seems like it wiggles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I obviously didn't look at it close enough. | ||
| Also, I'm not a lifter in that sense. | ||
| I don't lift heavy weights. | ||
| The heaviest shit I ever lift is I might squat a couple of hundred pounds for reps, but most of the shit I do is kettlebells. | ||
| So I'm doing the heaviest ones I do are like 90 pounds. | ||
| And that's rare. | ||
| Usually I use a 70-pound kettlebell or a 50-pound kettlebell, depending upon the exercise. | ||
| They're not heavy. | ||
| I'm doing functional movements that use your full body. | ||
| So I'm not in that lifting world. | ||
| But if you wanted to talk to like... | ||
| You'd have to talk to like C.T. Fletcher. | ||
| You'd have to talk to like those power lifter dudes who really understand. | ||
| Those are the ones that so... | ||
| It's a little uncomfortable that I'm sitting right in front of you and I'm not in the list of people that you're asking. | ||
| Because on my Peloton, there are three and a half pound weights that sit on the back of the seat. | ||
| And once in a while, you have to take those out and curl them. | ||
| Sometimes two in one hand, mind you. | ||
| And it is quite a workout. | ||
| Okay, so he's 200 pounds. | ||
| He says he went from 218 pounds to a pretty lean 200 pounds. | ||
| He said he cut out a bunch of bullshit, cut dairy and bad sugar, 2014 cut back booze. | ||
| So he's 200 pounds. | ||
| His body fat plummeted to 12%. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, he's pretty dialed in on his stuff, though. | ||
| Right, but he's taller than me, and he's my weight. | ||
| There's no way he's handling that weight like that. | ||
| I can't handle that weight like that. | ||
| Can we see the video? | ||
| I'm fucking jacked, son. | ||
| Oh man, I wish I didn't have my jacket on. | ||
| I would be showing you my biceps. | ||
| Show me what's up. | ||
| Roy Jones Jr. flexed his arm in that chair. | ||
| He has two of mine. | ||
| Does he really? | ||
| On his left. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| His left arm is so much bigger than his right because he's got probably one of the best left hooks. | ||
| Not probably. | ||
| One of the best left hooks a human being's ever thrown. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So his left bicep is gigantic. | ||
| It's so much bigger than his right. | ||
| He was joking around about it. | ||
| But when he flexed, you're like, Jesus! | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| Just like an alien head in there. | ||
| Yeah, see, there it is. | ||
| He does have shoulders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that move, when he does that. | ||
| Well, that's kind of braced. | ||
| It's 100 pounds, that's so heavy. | ||
| 100 pounds is so heavy. | ||
| This is where I'm less... | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| When he's doing the little hammer curls, this is where I'm less likely to believe. | ||
| This one right here, when he's doing that. | ||
| He's not even straining. | ||
| There's no strain at all in his back. | ||
| Everything looks too light. | ||
| Yeah, it just doesn't... | ||
| Look, again, I don't know shit. | ||
| This is not my world. | ||
| I could show you a video of a guy like Bradley Martin, that dude off YouTube, doing 120-pound dumbbells. | ||
| He's struggling with those. | ||
| Right, of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And Bradley, he's a giant. | |
| Who is? | ||
| Bradley Martin. | ||
| Show Bradley Martin. | ||
| Yeah, let me see Bradley Martin. | ||
| Bradley Martin takes girls, he puts like weights on bars, and then has girls hang on the bars, and he fucking presses them. | ||
| I love that movie. | ||
| He's enormous. | ||
| He's a YouTube famous lifter. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But all completely, look at this, he's cleaning and pressing a girl. | ||
| But the dude is like 6'3", 6'4", 270, easy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Enormous. | ||
| He's a huge man. | ||
| He's a huge, legitimately huge man. | ||
| Yeah, he's gigantic. | ||
| So he's struggling. | ||
| There's a video of him on there with 100 pound dumbbells? | ||
| Look at that bar bending. | ||
| Look at that when he's doing deadlifts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Besides this motherfucker. | ||
| So much weight on the bar. | ||
| But you look at him and you go, oh, okay. | ||
| Oh, that shit's real as fuck. | ||
| As people always say, it's fake. | ||
| Look at the bar bending! | ||
| This guy doesn't have to fake anything. | ||
| Listen, there ain't no faking going on right there. | ||
| That's... | ||
| You look at the way that weight is moving. | ||
| When you see the size of him, too, he's... | ||
| It all makes sense. | ||
| But his tricep doesn't wiggle when he points at something like Mike. | ||
| But it's nice that I could ask, like, everybody's, you know, you wonder about stuff like that, and you look at them doing that like, is that real? | ||
| And then you ask experts, and the experts are like, uh-uh. | ||
| That is pretty great. | ||
| Like, Oberst and Rob Canning, those motherfuckers know. | ||
| Yeah, that's pretty badass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But what kind of a person would fake a weight? | ||
| Do you think people give him fake weights? | ||
| Imagine if they wanted you to look like a moron. | ||
| Like, hey, move this weight around. | ||
| You're like, what is that, 100 pounds? | ||
| You're like, hey, take a video of this. | ||
| Show everybody how strong I am. | ||
| His assistant was trying to get brownie points. | ||
| Maybe he doesn't even know. | ||
| Maybe he doesn't know. | ||
| Maybe he doesn't know. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| His assistants are just doing it to make him feel good. | ||
| There was a guy who was a royal guy or something, but he would play pool with guys. | ||
| And they would pay the guys to lose. | ||
| And so this guy would enter into pool tournaments. | ||
| And he was okay. | ||
| He was a decent player, but guys would blow shots on purpose. | ||
| You could tell. | ||
| Someone had paid them off. | ||
| He's just walking around thinking like Kim Jong-il. | ||
| He thought he was the shit. | ||
| He's the world greatest basketball player. | ||
| Odd. | ||
| Odd, man. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| But apparently, this is one of the things that Rob Kearney was telling me is that there is a whole culture. | ||
| I'll pull up the dude's name. | ||
| There's a whole culture of people online who do this with fake weights. | ||
| And that's probably why he was talking about that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like fake followers and fake weights and people just trying to get some cred online. | ||
| So this is the guy, Brad Castleberry. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I know who that is. | ||
| I follow him. | ||
| I know who he is. | ||
| I've seen him get called out for the fake weight thing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Because he's a monster as well. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| He's a monster as well. | ||
| He's a monster and he's still... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's huge. | ||
| Jeez, look at those legs. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But apparently people have asked him to do... | ||
| Now, this is according to my friends in the powerlifting world. | ||
| Apparently people have asked him to show up at meets and do this stuff. | ||
| Why am I seeing his butt cheeks? | ||
| He's in his underpants. | ||
| Not comfortable with that. | ||
| Why is he in his underpants? | ||
| So not necessary. | ||
| So not necessary for him to show that while he's squatting. | ||
| World's strongest almost gay. | ||
| World's strongest curious. | ||
| Rob needs to show him the way. | ||
| Rob's a married man. | ||
| He's not interested in your butt cheeks, sir. | ||
| Put him back. | ||
| Put him away. | ||
| That's a real problem in that world, apparently, is people fake weights, which is real weird. | ||
| People are so shitty. | ||
| They fake everything. | ||
| They fake how many followers they have, they fake how much weights they've got. | ||
| Yeah, I know someone with fake followers. | ||
| This is him lifting? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| How to spot fake weights. | ||
| How can they spot it? | ||
| What are they saying? | ||
| How do you know that's fake? | ||
| I guess they're saying how he held it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I know the power lifters get deep into this too because of what you're saying. | ||
| So what do you think they do? | ||
| They put like one fake one, one real one, one fake one, one real one, like stack them or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| They want some resistance. | ||
| And here's the other question. | ||
| That looks like a public gym. | ||
| So how are you getting them fake weights into that gym? | ||
| You're not... | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| I've followed him online for a while, yeah. | ||
| I've seen people call him out. | ||
| Who? | ||
| For years. | ||
| Brad Castleberry. | ||
| Because he's always been at a 24-hour fitness, so I can see him bringing in stacks of fake plates because people would see them and you just take a picture of them. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| That would spread. | ||
| It's just such a weird world, the world of how much can you lift. | ||
| Yeah, well, they're so into it, right? | ||
| These guys aren't learning Italian. | ||
| See, that looks real, man. | ||
| Look at that bar bending. | ||
| That's fake? | ||
| They're saying that's fake? | ||
| This video is about how to spot it, so we're not listening to what they're saying. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They might be saying that's legit. | ||
| It's a weird... | ||
| I don't know how much I can lift. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Someone says, how much do you bench? | ||
| I don't bench. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I just say 250. It's a good move. | |
| Scare people off. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't remember when I was... | ||
| Never take your jacket off. | ||
| That's why I wear the jacket. | ||
| I don't want to intimidate people. | ||
| You don't want anybody to know. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird world. | ||
| Remember when you sent me a picture of a fat comedian and you said, don't end up like this? | ||
| No. | ||
| Did I? Did I do that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How fat was he? | ||
| He was pretty porky. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I won't name him. | |
| Did he have a shirt off on stage? | ||
| And I must have been like at a teetering weight at the time. | ||
| Oh, were we discussing weight loss? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Maybe a little. | ||
| Was it trying to encourage you by fat shaming you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I'm sending you lean elk meat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It worked. | |
| Listen, I have food for you back in LA, but I've got to get you in touch with my security guy. | ||
| He'll get you into the studio and he'll give you some elk meat. | ||
| It's the only meat I eat. | ||
| Yeah, because I'm going to have to... | ||
| Well, I got one this year already. | ||
| I'm going to have to ship some of that meat back out here soon. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| So, get a cooler. | ||
| Do you have a freezer at your house? | ||
| No, I just have this tiny fridge in the garage. | ||
| Maybe I should get a freezer. | ||
| If you get a commercial freezer, I could fill it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm the only one that eats meat in my house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| So sad. | ||
| It's me and the dog. | ||
| That's why you're the man. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's why you dominate. | ||
| Are they all tired and sleepy all the time? | ||
| Yes, they're in their anemic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are they? | |
| No joke. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's sad. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They won't eat meat? | ||
| And it's so like, no. | ||
| Do they not eat meat for health reasons? | ||
| Because obviously that's not working. | ||
| Or is it a moral thing? | ||
| It was animal sympathy, empathy. | ||
| Yeah, they just love the animals. | ||
| And my wife taught my daughters the same. | ||
| What happens to elk if you don't eat them? | ||
| What happens to them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wolves eat them. | ||
| Bears eat them. | ||
| Oh yeah, of course. | ||
| And it's funny because... | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| They're not opposed to... | ||
| They're not opposed to the dog eating meat. | ||
| Well, that's good. | ||
| You don't want the dog to die. | ||
| They literally ask, is there any meat around? | ||
| Because I'll make it. | ||
| I'll make a steak and then there's always some left over. | ||
| And she's like... | ||
| We're encouraging it now because the dog showed up in our life, and she eats meat. | ||
| Dude, they go crazy. | ||
| You ever see feed your dog liver? | ||
| That is one of the best things. | ||
| You should feed your dog liver. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Marshall, my dog Marshall, who you'll meet later today, is the sweetest dog the world's ever known. | ||
| Loves everybody, but the wolf in him comes out when he smells liver. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| He has this wild-eyed look, and you feed him liver. | ||
| He's twitchy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Give him pieces of liver. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| Because it's so packed with iron and... | ||
| It's something in his DNA understands that liver is like the number one thing. | ||
| That's the best thing to get. | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| When a wolf kills an alpha, the alpha eats the liver. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the prize. | ||
| That's Marshall with a little bird. | ||
| I found him. | ||
| He wasn't paying attention. | ||
| I was calling him, and he wasn't paying attention. | ||
| And I see him staring out the window, and there's a little bird that I think the bird flew into the window. | ||
| Oh, it was hurt. | ||
| Conked himself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so the bird's just sitting there, and Marshall's just tweaking hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Staring at this bird. | ||
| But he eventually, the little bird, he eventually flew off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just instinct, man. | ||
| My sister has two dogs, two hounds, and she's had a chicken coop forever, and the chicken in there is like... | ||
| 12 years old. | ||
| An old chicken. | ||
| That's old. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And she still was producing eggs, kind of, you know, just part of the family in a way. | ||
| It's just been there forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The hound dog. | |
| And the dogs, and somehow someone left something open, and those hounds ripped her apart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Just lived with it, like... | ||
| For years, no problem, no nothing. | ||
| As soon as they had the opportunity... | ||
| They can't help themselves. | ||
| They could not help themselves. | ||
| My dog, Johnny, actually broke through the chicken coop. | ||
| He figured out a way to get inside the chicken coop, and he went on a rampage. | ||
| He killed like eight or nine of them, I forget. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| By the time I got to him, there was just bodies all over the place. | ||
| But I had, at that time, I think I had 20 plus chickens, so there were so many chickens for him to kill. | ||
| It took a while for me to figure out what was going on. | ||
| My wife screamed out, why is Johnny in the chicken coop? | ||
| I'm like, fuck! | ||
| And I ran out there and grabbed him. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Or like, is it just a kill? | ||
| They don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They just kill him. | |
| He's well fed. | ||
| That's what I thought. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just for fun. | ||
| It was just for shits and giggles. | ||
| Just, yeah, just have a good time. | ||
| Little rat terriers killing the rats. | ||
| But did I tell you the whole story about him where he was talked into killing chickens by a coyote? | ||
| Talked into it? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| They had to sit down in the bar? | ||
| There's a thing that happens with coyotes that's really amazing. | ||
| They're clever. | ||
| They're clever in a very specific way. | ||
| This is what was happening. | ||
| My chickens, when female chickens don't have a rooster, they lay eggs, but the eggs never become baby chicks, right? | ||
| So this is what people don't know that are vegetarians. | ||
| Like, you can eat eggs guilt-free. | ||
| Because eggs will never become a chicken. | ||
| People want to look at it like you're doing some harm to the chicken. | ||
| But if you have pets, chickens as pets, and you just let them free range, they run around, they eat bugs, they eat grass, they eat all these different things, they give you this incredibly nutritious eggs, and you don't have to worry. | ||
| There's no bad karma. | ||
| No one's getting hurt. | ||
| Just popping out eggs. | ||
| But every now and then, the chicken will decide that this egg is going to hatch, and they'll molt. | ||
| I think it's called brooding. | ||
| That's what it's called. | ||
| And they'll start picking their feathers off their body so that they can have skin on the egg, and they won't get off that egg. | ||
| And you come near them, they peck at you, they want to preserve that egg, because in their head, they're confused as to why they're not having chicks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're a little dinosaur brain. | ||
| So I had to take them, and I would separate them from the other chicks, and you had to put them in a smaller container where they couldn't sit on the thing. | ||
| So you had to put a perch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Then their legs clutch on the perch, and they sit there in a smaller chicken coop, and then they would eventually get over it. | ||
| And then you could let them back in, and they would act normal again. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But otherwise, they would damage themselves. | ||
| They'd peck at themselves, and it was real weird. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| When you say they decide, does that mean that all eggs could, and they just pick this one out? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| They have a feeling like this one is going to have it. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| No eggs can ever become a chick. | ||
| Gotcha, gotcha. | ||
| The only way an egg can be a chick is if there's a rooster. | ||
| So these chickens, these female chickens, which by the way, I didn't know until I was 40. I thought they just fucking had an egg and the egg became a chicken. | ||
| You were eating it before it became a chick. | ||
| That's what I thought. | ||
| That's why you get a feather in it once in a while. | ||
| I put zero thought into it. | ||
| Until we had chickens and then we realized that there's this brooding thing where they have to hold on to the... | ||
| So you have to basically take them... | ||
| If you don't do it, they'll go through a full cycle, like 30 days of brooding and they won't lay any other eggs and it's like... | ||
| They get real weird. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| But they also, they damage themselves. | ||
| They pluck all their feathers out and shit. | ||
| But if you take them and you put them in this small container for a number of days, like I forget how many days it is, they'll eventually get over it and then they act normal again. | ||
| So we did that and then I put this smaller container on the outside of the larger chicken coop, right? | ||
| Because it, for whatever reason, I didn't bring it inside. | ||
| I just put it outside of there. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| The Coyote became friends with Johnny Cash. | ||
| Johnny Cash is a Mastiff and he's a fucking tank. | ||
| He's 140 pounds, head like a fire hydrant. | ||
| Dumb as shit, right? | ||
| And the coyote was super clever. | ||
| And the coyote was his friend. | ||
| So the coyote would hop the fence and hang out with him. | ||
| And he had decided, because the coyote was way too small to eat him. | ||
| It's like, the coyote's only probably 35 pounds. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But the coyote got him convinced that they're buddies. | ||
| So the coyote would come visit, and Johnny would see it outside the fence. | ||
| And so one day, somebody left the gate open. | ||
| Where the way the house was set up, the dog could stay on one side and the chicken coop was on the other side. | ||
| So I didn't have to worry about him because he's so strong. | ||
| He could literally go through the chicken coop, which he eventually did. | ||
| He pulled the chicken wire apart and just slaughtered. | ||
| But before he did that, the coyote convinced him to go to the box where that one chicken was and knock it over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| So I'm sitting there, and we were playing games. | ||
| We were playing, like, Sorry or something with my family. | ||
| And I look out the window, and I see this fucking coyote with a chicken in its mouth running across my yard and bounces over my fence like it doesn't exist. | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| You can't believe how graceful they are. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Six-foot fence, just like this. | ||
| Bing, bing, bong. | ||
| Gone, with a chicken in his mouth. | ||
| I'm running out chasing him. | ||
| You motherfucker! | ||
| And then I go over and I'm like, how did he get the chicken? | ||
| And then I go over to where the chicken coop is and somebody had let Johnny over to that side. | ||
| And he's destroyed the chicken coop, the small coop. | ||
| And he's just looking at me like, hey man, what's up? | ||
| And I'm like, what the fuck did you do? | ||
| And then I realized, oh my god, the coyote tricked him into knocking this thing over and then it stole the chicken. | ||
| Because it was hanging out with him. | ||
| The coyote told me you'd want me to knock it over. | ||
| He wasn't barking at the coyote. | ||
| He wasn't acting like the coyote was an intruder. | ||
| In his mind, the coyote was like my other dog. | ||
| It was like his friend. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| They were buddies. | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| Come on, it'll be cool. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| He didn't even know what it was. | ||
| What do you want me to do? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you want me to do? | |
| You want me to knock that over? | ||
| I'll knock that over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Joe said I should do it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And he shatters his box and the coyote's like, thanks, sucker! | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Poing! | ||
| It just bounces over the fence. | ||
| They are smart. | ||
| But I was... | ||
| I mean, I spent the rest of the day going like, what did it do? | ||
| Did it know that he could do that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Or did it just think maybe we'll work together and we can do it? | ||
| Did it know? | ||
| Look how big that thing is. | ||
| I think that thing could probably break this. | ||
| Did it understand? | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It sizes it up. | ||
| My wife was walking. | ||
| We have a new dog in the house. | ||
| We have a pug named Frank. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| New addition to the house. | ||
| When did you get Frank? | ||
| Like four weeks ago. | ||
| I rescued it. | ||
| One daughter went to school and my other daughter replaced her with a pug. | ||
| And my wife is walking the black lab, Bella, and Frank the pug. | ||
| She's just walking them on the sidewalk. | ||
| And she ran into a coyote in the middle of the street. | ||
| Coyote. | ||
| Pretty big one. | ||
| And she said she was making noise, trying to get it off, and she said he wasn't moving. | ||
| He was just, watch, he was like sizing up, kind of what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Looking at Frank, this little edible pug, but seeing my wife in this black lab, and she said he was just trying to figure out... | ||
| What he could do. | ||
| Yeah, what could he do? | ||
| And my wife was making a lot of noise, trying to push him away, and eventually he went... | ||
| Here's your little pug. | ||
| Oh yeah, there's Frank! | ||
| Give me that little face. | ||
| It's a great name for a pug. | ||
| He's adorable. | ||
| Yeah, he's pretty great. | ||
| They're not that bright. | ||
| Yeah, well, they eat those things all day long. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Coyotes snatch those up from yards all day long. | ||
| It's a fun dog name to be like, come on, Frank. | ||
| I had a dog named Frank Sinatra. | ||
| It's like you're talking to a guy from the 50s. | ||
| You had a Frank Sinatra? | ||
| Yeah, I had Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash. | ||
| Isn't Frank great? | ||
| Talking to Frank is great. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Aw, what are you doing, Frank? | ||
| Come on, Frank. | ||
| Frank! | ||
| Frank! | ||
| Not in the office. | ||
| He looks like a Frank. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Frank! | |
| We've never had a pug before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh really? | |
| They're cute dogs. | ||
| Look at that little face. | ||
| Look at that face. | ||
| Look at them. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| They're not that bright. | ||
| Gotta keep them away from fucking coyotes, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The coyotes are gonna come and take it. | ||
| Maria Bamford, great comedian. | ||
| Great comedian. | ||
| She adopts pugs. | ||
| She has like five at a time. | ||
| And only adopts them like at ten years old. | ||
| Like the end of their life when people aren't caring for them. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| How big hearted she is. | ||
| She brings them in and cares for them to the end of their life. | ||
| Whitney has about a hundred dogs at her fucking house. | ||
| Does she really? | ||
| She's always got dogs. | ||
| She's always adopting. | ||
| She'll send me pictures. | ||
| Look at this new dog I got. | ||
| I'm like, bitch, how many dogs do you have? | ||
| I went to her house. | ||
| I did a backyard stand-up thing. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| Me and Tim Dillon. | ||
| People were criticizing her for that backyard stand-up show. | ||
| She tested everybody. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| They're all comics. | ||
| Everybody wore masks. | ||
| Yeah, it was totally safe. | ||
| People were like, you're putting people at risk. | ||
| Oh, snooze fest. | ||
| Professional comedians were saying that. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Which ones? | ||
| You know ones with money that don't worry about making a living, that don't want anybody to do any dates at all, even if it's just fun. | ||
| Oh, shut your trap. | ||
| Oh, it's so gross. | ||
| Shut your trap. | ||
| This whole risk-shaming thing. | ||
| Oh my god, exactly. | ||
| You can't make people at risk. | ||
| That was another thing in the article, sorry to go way back to the pandemic. | ||
| Another thing that countries that have done things well, they don't shame people into their actions. | ||
| If you give them the information and let them act on their own... | ||
| Well, you gotta take Twitter away. | ||
| If you shame them and yell at them and we're better than you and you tell them what to do and you're gonna shame the shit out of them, then they all rebel. | ||
| You make Trumpers. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You'll rebel. | ||
| You're like, don't tell me what to do. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's human nature, man. | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| Those people are gross. | ||
| Let people go perform. | ||
| I went and performed in Portland. | ||
| Has anybody given you any grief for doing shows? | ||
| No. | ||
| Wait till after the show. | ||
| They will. | ||
| Oh, F them. | ||
| They're coming for you. | ||
| They're coming for you. | ||
| Talk to me about the waitresses that were almost losing their apartments and are back at work. | ||
| Talk to me about the people that are subsiding their anxiety by finally getting out of the house and hearing comedians translate stuff. | ||
| I think you should be able to take risks. | ||
| We are... | ||
| Almost seven months into this thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And the idea that you're supposed to stay home until there's a cure is fucking insane. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| It's untenable. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| And obviously, you can navigate it. | ||
| You can navigate these waters. | ||
| You can. | ||
| You do it safely. | ||
| You wear a mask. | ||
| You take care of your health. | ||
| You take vitamin D, zinc, and vitamin C. Drink a lot of water. | ||
| Get a lot of rest. | ||
| And whatever's good for you. | ||
| Get tested. | ||
| If you're vulnerable and you don't want to go, you don't go. | ||
| But if the governor of that state says it's okay, and the mayor says it's okay, and the club owner says It's doing all the right things. | ||
| And the staff is there and the people show up. | ||
| We've all decided as a collective that this is okay for us. | ||
| We're adults. | ||
| And if we're out there bungee jumping or riding bulls or any other dangerous activities, we should be able to do that. | ||
| And the argument against that, of course, is that you're going to transmit it to someone else. | ||
| Don't fucking do that, okay? | ||
| Get yourself tested. | ||
| If you have a vulnerable person in your household, don't do anything risky. | ||
| But you can be tested now. | ||
| It is possible. | ||
| You can find out. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And Trump kicked it, and he's fat, and he's 74. You need to get on the same shit they put The Rock on when he was doing Fast and the Furious. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Run through walls! | ||
| The Rock got COVID, and he was like, one of the most difficult things me and my family have ever been through. | ||
| Meanwhile, you're like, come on, son. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You look great, and I've been watching your Instagram the whole time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, exactly. | |
| You never even coughed. | ||
| You didn't even flinch. | ||
| You didn't even cough. | ||
| You never stopped posting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One of the most difficult things my family and I have ever done. | |
| I'm a giant Rock fan. | ||
| I fucking love that guy. | ||
| He is jacked. | ||
| Holy cow. | ||
| He's so inspirational. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He's always getting after it. | ||
| If you're lazy, there's three people you need to go look at. | ||
| Cameron Haynes, David Goggins, and The Rock. | ||
| Go pay attention to those. | ||
| They will get you off your fucking lazy ass. | ||
| They sure will. | ||
| And people think, oh, that's frivolous. | ||
| Listen, it's not. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Mental strength is an important thing to have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's something that you can... | ||
| You can grow. | ||
| You can cultivate it. | ||
| It's a thing that you see in other people, you admire it, and a lot of people, they like to pretend they don't admire it because they don't have it in themselves, and so they try to dismiss it. | ||
| It's inspiring. | ||
| But those people, Goggins and Cam Haynes and The Rock, people that are constantly... | ||
| Kevin Hart is another one, too. | ||
| Constantly hustling, always getting after it. | ||
| Always moving. | ||
| Those people are very valuable to humanity. | ||
| They really are. | ||
| But people who consider themselves intellectuals, or at least intelligent, or artists, or whatever, they look at those people as like they're doing something frivolous. | ||
| And maybe perhaps my support of it is just reinforcing the meathead part of me that I enjoy. | ||
| Which is true. | ||
| I'm a meathead. | ||
| It's a fact. | ||
| Well, that's true. | ||
| I'm a meathead. | ||
| I like muscle cars. | ||
| I like bow hunting. | ||
| I like meathead type shit. | ||
| But I also like to read. | ||
| And I also like intelligent things. | ||
| I like interesting discussions. | ||
| And you get motivated to work really hard. | ||
| The mind is the hard part. | ||
| Getting your mind to force your body to do things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When your mind starts concocting all these excuses and starts coming up with all these different ways why you don't have to do that. | ||
| Very clever. | ||
| It's a sneaky bitch, your mind. | ||
| Really clever. | ||
| And you gotta conquer it. | ||
| You gotta conquer your inner bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You gotta figure out a way to tell that motherfucker to shut up and you start working. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And once you start sweating and things start moving along... | ||
| You get healthier. | ||
| You get a sense of satisfaction. | ||
| That's right, exactly. | ||
| You had one post, literally, I saw it as I was doing a pour over coffee in the morning before my radio show, and you said something like, my inner bitch wanted me to go and just have coffee and skip the workout, and I was sitting there, like, literally making the coffee. | ||
| I did. | ||
| It was a hard day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Sometimes it's hard, man. | ||
| For me, and I always feel silly talking about working out in front of you anyway, but... | ||
| As long as I know when I'm doing it in the day. | ||
| If it's going to be right after the radio show as soon as I turn it off and I go on. | ||
| Like, I just have to know. | ||
| Just have to schedule. | ||
| Yeah, you can't have it loose. | ||
| Like, some time in the afternoon does not work. | ||
| I have to know exactly when. | ||
| That's how I am with writing as well. | ||
| I have to have my writing. | ||
| I have to know I'm writing today at 3pm. | ||
| I will show up. | ||
| I will flip open that laptop. | ||
| I will fucking fire it up. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And all you have to do is show up. | ||
| Just show up. | ||
| There's this great book on writing rituals. | ||
| All these different writers and they tell you it's just what each author did. | ||
| And some painters. | ||
| Something rituals. | ||
| I feel like you've told me about this before. | ||
| I think I have. | ||
| I'll get you a copy. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That'll be my mission. | ||
| It's so great. | ||
| Just keep it at your end table just to kind of like pop it open and just see how these people... | ||
| Just that they... | ||
| Some of them are really decadent, some of them are really puritanical, but they had it. | ||
| Well, the best one was Hunter S. Thompson. | ||
| Hunter S. Thompson, there was a beardy man took me and Fitzsimmons reading Hunter S. Thompson's ritual and put it into music. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| And made a song. | ||
| Do you think we can play that? | ||
| Are you allowed? | ||
| I wonder if we can play that because... | ||
| I'm in it. | ||
| I mean, I gave him the rights to use it. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| What do you think happens there? | ||
| It's kind of an interesting experiment. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He seems like a nice guy. | ||
| It's weird, like, what you can get away with and what you can't get away with, man. | ||
| Who owns it? | ||
| It's not me. | ||
| I certainly don't own it, but I let him use our voice. | ||
| But it's me and Fitzsimmons reading Hunter S. Thompson's schedule. | ||
| Like, he had a writer come visit him, and the writer, like, observed what he did in the day. | ||
| And was his ritual, he would do it every day? | ||
| Yeah, play this. | ||
| Alright, here's his daily routine. | ||
| 3pm, rise. | ||
| 3.05, Shivas Regal with morning papers. | ||
| Smokes Dunhills. | ||
| 3.45, cocaine. | ||
| 3.50, another glass of Shivas. | ||
| Another Dunhill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
4.05 p.m., by the way, first cup of coffee and a Dunhill. | |
| 4.15, cocaine. | ||
| 4.16, orange juice and another Dunhill. | ||
| 4.30, cocaine. | ||
| 4.54, cocaine. | ||
| 5.05, cocaine. | ||
| 5.11, coffee, Dunhills. | ||
| 5.30, get more ice in the Shivas. | ||
| Cocaine at 5.45, 6 o'clock, smoking grass, take the edge off the day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
7 p.m. | |
| The day. | ||
| Three hours into it. | ||
| Three hours in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lit. | |
| 7.05. | ||
| Woody Creek Tavern for lunch. | ||
| Heineken. | ||
| Two margaritas. | ||
| Coleslaw. | ||
| A taco salad. | ||
| Double order of fried onion rings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Carrot cake. | |
| Ice cream. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A bean fritter. | |
| Dunhills. | ||
| Another Heineken. | ||
| Cocaine. | ||
| And for the rest of the ride home, a snow cone. | ||
| A glass of shredded ice, which is poured over four jiggers of Chivas. | ||
| Okay, so a snow cone is Chivas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay? | |
| 9 p.m. | ||
| Start snorting cocaine seriously. | ||
|
unidentified
|
10 p.m. | |
| Drops acid. | ||
| 11 p.m. | ||
| Chartreuse. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| Cocaine and grass. | ||
| 11.30. | ||
| Cocaine, etc., etc. | ||
| 12. Midnight. | ||
| Hunter S. Thompson is ready to write. | ||
| That's when he sits down to write. | ||
| 12.05 to 6 a.m. | ||
| He writes, chartreuse, cocaine, grass, chivas, coffee, Heineken, clothes, cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies. | ||
| 6 a.m. | ||
| In the hot tub with champagne, dove bars, fettuccine Alfredo. | ||
| 8am. | ||
| Calcium. | ||
| It's a sleeping pill. | ||
| 820. Sleep. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I can't believe he shot himself. | ||
| I can't believe. | ||
| What a fucking animal. | ||
| He's in serious pain. | ||
| He had hip replacements. | ||
| He was all fucked up. | ||
| Man, oh man. | ||
| I can't call that a ritual. | ||
| You can only throw that much sand into the engine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Where the block seizes up. | ||
| It's gonna seize. | ||
| It was sad towards the end of his life because he couldn't talk. | ||
| Like, there's a famous interview with him on Conan O'Brien. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he had lost his ability to communicate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The worst. | |
| He just was so compromised by alcohol and drugs, he couldn't talk anymore. | ||
| That is the worst. | ||
| That really is bad. | ||
| I was looking at this video of David Lynch talking about TM. Transcendental meditation? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was talking about... | ||
| That the people that are in pain that are drinking like that and taking the drugs, artists that are doing that stuff, that that ends up killing the art. | ||
| And that if you can find something else for your brain that gets you away from those things, you'll be able to create. | ||
| But that all of those drug-fueled... | ||
| Alcohol-fueled artistic endeavors and artistic lives all just burn out. | ||
| They just... | ||
| You've killed it. | ||
| You've killed the part that's going to be able to create. | ||
| And it's true. | ||
| All those stories don't end in a way. | ||
| Stan Hope's still kicking. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Doing great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Tell David Lynch to suck it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll see. | |
| Honestly, I think that's a generalization. | ||
| It's a pretty... | ||
| I think that drugs and alcohol can be tools. | ||
| I think the problem is... | ||
| In short bursts. | ||
| The inclination that people have to excess is often what leads them astray. | ||
| It's like this inclination to just keep boozing and keep drugging and year after year, day after day, eventually your body falls apart. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is why I'm doing Sober October. | ||
| Yeah, how's it going? | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| You feel good? | ||
| I'm fucking sore. | ||
| You're all by yourself. | ||
| I know no one's... | ||
| You're all alone. | ||
| But I'm sore. | ||
| I've been working out... | ||
| I decided to work out every day for the whole month. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| See what that's like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Wow. | ||
| What's your normal schedule? | ||
| I take days off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Normally, I take a couple days off a week. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I've just been forcing myself to do what I would call active recovery, so I mix it up. | ||
| So, like, days... | ||
| I just do different things on different days. | ||
| I'm just trying to keep it going. | ||
| One of the things I've become real obsessed with is this thing called the Rogue Echo Bike. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| You know what that is? | ||
| No. | ||
| You know what an Airdyne bike is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You do your handles, and then you basically, it's wind resistance. | ||
| Yeah, that big wheel. | ||
| It's a fan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is like the most brutal version of that. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| It's a really rugged, tough piece of equipment, and I've become obsessed with seeing how much I can do on it. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Like, I started doing these Tabata rounds. | ||
| I would do like four rounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Four rounds are, you do eight Tabatas, which is 20 seconds of sprinting, followed by 10 seconds of rest, and you do that for a cycle of eight. | ||
| Like, you do that eight times. | ||
| How long? | ||
| How far? | ||
| It takes four minutes to do eight times. | ||
| No, how far is the sprint? | ||
| No, just time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, time. | |
| You're just doing time. | ||
| Because you're not going anywhere, right? | ||
| Oh, you're on the bike. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| You're on the bike. | ||
| Pay attention. | ||
| You're not even listening to me, man. | ||
| I'm on drugs! | ||
| So you do that. | ||
| It takes four minutes, and I would do that. | ||
| I started off doing it. | ||
| I would just do it four times, which is 16 minutes. | ||
| 16 minutes of sprinting, which is hard. | ||
| It's difficult. | ||
| And then I moved it up to 8. And then I moved it up to 10. And then I moved it up to 13. So now I'm basically at 52 minutes of sprinting and resting. | ||
| Sprinting and resting. | ||
| And it's amazing for my cardio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But... | ||
| You just rest and recover, and then I have this day of dread where I know today I'm doing the Airdyne bike. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And then I start fucking with my head, and I start saying, okay, pussy, today you're going to do 15. You're going to do 15 sets. | ||
| Each one is four minutes long. | ||
| Ready, go. | ||
| And once you get through one, you go, okay, 13 more to go, 14 more to go, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 13, 12, 11, and you just keep going. | ||
| And then when you get to seven, you feel the finish line coming. | ||
| And then you get to six and to five, and you're fucking, I'm drenched with sweat, right? | ||
| And I'm taking liquid IV in these big two-liter bottles, and I'm chugging it. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I've become crazy with this. | ||
| It's just the starting that's the hard part. | ||
| It's the dread. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the dread. | ||
| I've tried to find ways to avoid doing this because I'm doing it three days a week sprinting on this thing. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| But my quads, my legs are getting big. | ||
| Mine are getting big too. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Getting fat? | ||
| Peloton. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| What? | ||
| Do I look fat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| You look great. | ||
| Peloton's awesome. | ||
| I hit a 61-week streak on the Peloton. | ||
| You did it 61 weeks in a row? | ||
| I'm at 61 weeks. | ||
| I'm still alive. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| How many days a week are you doing it? | ||
| Three. | ||
| And when you do it, are you following the same course? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or do you have different instructors? | ||
| You follow their workouts? | ||
| I've got this great... | ||
| I only like one instructor. | ||
| I have this guy, Matt Wilpers, who's... | ||
| He's not partying on the bike. | ||
| There's a lot of, you know, everyone has their different soul cycle kind of a, you know, girls flirting. | ||
| And Wilpers is like a coach. | ||
| He's like just dialed in. | ||
| Hardcore. | ||
| He's like, yeah, he's like a high school coach kind of a thing. | ||
| And... | ||
| He's just all about hitting these zones and doing the stuff, but he keeps coming out with new ones. | ||
| So every week, he drops a 60-minute or a 45-minute, and it just keeps me motivated. | ||
| It keeps me in. | ||
| And it has music, so you're going along to the music. | ||
| He's got music. | ||
| And he's coaching you. | ||
| And he's coaching you. | ||
| Telling you to crank it up, let it go, all that stuff. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Peloton's awesome. | ||
| They also have a treadmill now, too, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| There was a place that we, when we were working in Phoenix once, and we went to this gym, we were doing stand-up in Phoenix, and we went to this gym during the day, and they had these cardio machines that were exactly what I always wanted. | ||
| I said, why can't someone come up with a cardio machine where as you're running, you're doing like a video game? | ||
| And so you had like fire in your left hand and I think what you did with your right hand. | ||
| But it was like an elliptical machine and the only way you went forward is by doing this. | ||
| So you have a screen in front of you and you were shooting pew pew pew and then you would turn it pew pew pew. | ||
| Who were you shooting? | ||
| I forget what you were shooting at. | ||
| Nazis? | ||
| I think you were in a tank and you were shooting at other objects. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| It wasn't so sophisticated where you had like... | ||
| There's a thing that they're doing where they... | ||
| I know there was a concept, at least, where they had VR goggles and you had this omnidirectional treadmill. | ||
| So you'd be harnessed by the waist and the omnidirectional treadmill would go in any way. | ||
| And so you would run left and one right, and you'd shoot at this and shoot at that. | ||
| But you'd actually be getting exercise in, because you're on this self-propelled, omnidirectional treadmill. | ||
| Have you ever used a self-propelled treadmill? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| No. | ||
| We have this thing called the Air Runner at the old studio, and I miss it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's 15% harder than regular running, because it's at this little slope, and you're pulling to get it to go. | ||
| And as you get it to go, you're keeping up this pace. | ||
| It's very difficult. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's really good, though. | ||
| It's like running on the beach. | ||
| Like in the sand. | ||
| Wonder on the beach is pretty fucking good. | ||
| It's not quite the same as that, but it's really good. | ||
| But anyway, the point is, if you could have something like that where it's difficult to do, but also fun, like you put on these goggles and you're doing Halo or something, or you're in Quake, and you're running down the hallway and shooting at things, what a workout you would get. | ||
| That'd be really cool. | ||
| If you get it behind you and someone's coming up behind you, you've got to outrun them. | ||
| Because think about how many people get addicted to video games. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Video games are extremely addictive. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| If you can get addicted to something that actually gives you cardio, where you're running four or five hours in a day. | ||
| Yeah, that'd be great. | ||
| So the only way you can get good at this game is by drinking a lot of water, taking vitamins, eating clean. | ||
| Yeah, come on. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| Let's make it. | ||
| I think they're really close to doing something like that. | ||
| You've tried that game Beat Saber where you're swinging the sticks. | ||
| John Carmack was a wizard of that shit. | ||
| When you have that ramped up, granted maybe if you made those weighted so it's not weightless in your hand. | ||
| I've played that for like an hour. | ||
| You get pretty sweaty if you're doing good. | ||
| Like if you're not fucking up every 30 seconds. | ||
| Well, do you remember when we put that boxing game on and I was whacking all these opponents and I was getting tired. | ||
| I was like, this is a good workout. | ||
| I get tired during Dance Dance Revolution. | ||
| Because if you actually know how to box a little, you could fuck those guys up. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| So those guys would come at me and be like, pop, pop! | ||
| And I would duck under. | ||
| But you're actually, you're moving, and when you get hit, the light flashes, like you got hit. | ||
| How cool is that? | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| Like, if you could dial that in and be like, go against Tyson or go against, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, go against Ali. | ||
| They will definitely have that someday. | ||
| Frasier coming at you? | ||
| The thing would be cool is if you could actually hit something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, if you actually had, like, a thing in front of you that you would hit. | ||
| Yeah, like a heavy bag. | ||
| Right, because right now it's not that way. | ||
| Right now it's just air. | ||
| So you're just swinging in air. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's like, poof, poof! | ||
| Like, when you hit it, it makes noise. | ||
| If you had the goggles on and a heavy bag in front of you. | ||
| It might hurt yourself. | ||
| And you see it and poof, poof, poof. | ||
| You might hurt yourself. | ||
| The problem with that is if you swung and you thought that the bag was here, but the bag is right here, you might hurt your wrist or something. | ||
| It really depends on... | ||
| Maybe it's possible. | ||
| Maybe it could be a really spongy bag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a light water bag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| If they have water... | ||
| Have you ever hit a water bag? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're really good because they don't... | ||
| There's weight to them, but they don't have the same... | ||
| Sometimes people have a problem with actual heavy bags because the impact is so jarring on your joints. | ||
| If you hit hard, especially. | ||
| Like Roy Jones was here yesterday and he was talking about it. | ||
| He hits these little paddles. | ||
| Instead of like regular mitts. | ||
| Because he hits so hard, like he doesn't want to hurt his hands. | ||
| So he's like... | ||
| And so he's just whipping into these paddles. | ||
| And the paddles offer very little resistance to just make this slap. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Just for the quickness of it. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| So if you could have something like that, maybe, where you hit it, but it's not hurting you. | ||
| It's got it. | ||
| It just seems like the fun part of it, of you being able to go against legends. | ||
| That's got to be a thing. | ||
| Someone's already done it. | ||
| Someone's making this on their own. | ||
| I just found this is a test they made. | ||
| Oh, so it shows you the spots to hit. | ||
| Yeah, that would be what you would want, right? | ||
| Yes, that's a great idea. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| Does that bag look like it's set up right? | ||
| Well, the bag is actually virtual, right? | ||
| So, like, there's a virtual bag, but then a physical bag. | ||
| So the virtual bag, what the goggles are doing is picking up on the actual position of the real bag. | ||
| So when you're hitting it, even with these fake gloves, the distance is correct. | ||
| So if you're seeing the way this guy... | ||
| Look at the video. | ||
| The way this... | ||
| Oh, now he's punching the wall? | ||
| Oh, that's a makawara. | ||
| So there, he's just doing that for reflexes. | ||
| Go back to the bag part, though. | ||
| Let me see the bag part again. | ||
| Now, if you could make that square... | ||
| But see how he's hitting it? | ||
| Like, he knows where the bag is. | ||
| He's hitting it in the correct distance. | ||
| So it's showing him accurately where the bag is. | ||
| As he moves forward, it's representing where the bag is. | ||
| Pretty dope. | ||
| Yeah, they're getting there. | ||
| It's gonna come, right? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Yeah, come on. | ||
| Be able to run against Carl Lewis. | ||
| That would be pretty cool stuff. | ||
| I don't know about all that. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Make it a little fun. | ||
| But the Peloton, for my thing, it's been good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if they could combine something like... | ||
| See if you can find that omnidirectional treadmill plus VR game. | ||
| Because there was a thing that they were doing. | ||
| I don't remember what the game was. | ||
| They were working on it. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was in beta. | ||
| And they were just trying to figure out how to do it. | ||
| But they wanted to do it with Quake or Doom or one of those 3D shooters where you'd be running with a plastic gun. | ||
| And you run down and shoot at things. | ||
| It seems like that's like the gyms of the future. | ||
| Like get in a kayak and you're going down a roaring river. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like all that running through the mountains. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's probably where the gyms are going to head. | ||
| Or how about you're running and like wolves are chasing you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're on this treadmill and you turn around VR and you see like glowing eyes of wolves. | ||
| Yeah, this is probably the best looking one I saw used. | ||
| There's a couple different ones I remember seeing. | ||
| That's an omnidirectional treadmill as well? | ||
| Yeah, so I remember the one you were talking about was a little concave, I think, right? | ||
| It was circular. | ||
| Okay, so this straps you in the same way, but the way the ground moves can go all directions. | ||
| Let me see this guy get in there. | ||
| Oh, what? | ||
| He's got goggles on. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's a robot. | ||
| Oh, that's so dope. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's pretty... | ||
| So is he harnessed into that treadmill? | ||
| He's not. | ||
| No. | ||
| His avatar looks like a robot. | ||
| Oh, so it does go... | ||
| That's for tracking. | ||
| That little thing on the back. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it seems like it's... | ||
| Oh, that's so awkward. | ||
| They just need to get that better. | ||
| Yeah, it's the beginnings of it. | ||
| Or really, what you really could get is like... | ||
| This one he is strapped in. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Yeah, so that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Yeah, now he's in Inception. | ||
| He's walking down the street in Inception. | ||
| So is that a treadmill? | ||
| Yep, that's a treadmill. | ||
| It's a little treadmill. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Something like that where you're strapped into an omnidirectional treadmill. | ||
| That looks like you'd fall off it. | ||
| Look how dope that is. | ||
| Oh, he's strapped in. | ||
| Yeah, so he can kind of move anywhere. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| We're getting there, kids. | ||
| We're getting there. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| How badass is this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And if you had ankle weights on and wrist weights, what a fucking workout you would get. | ||
| That would be pretty... | ||
| You would work out so much, you would die. | ||
| I don't know if you'd die. | ||
| Because you'd be so into the game. | ||
| Yeah, you'd be so into it. | ||
| Yeah, you'd come back six months later. | ||
| It'd be addicting. | ||
| Like, what happened? | ||
| Tom, you got a fucking six-pack? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Yeah, you'd want to play for like hours and hours, right? | ||
| I got really into Boomzats on the VR. Boomzats! | ||
| It's a good name, Boomzats. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you can figure out a way to turn your addiction into something positive, right? | ||
| Yeah, now you're talking. | ||
| The best way to do it for those video game guys is to become a professional gamer. | ||
| Or you can actually make a shitload of money playing professional games. | ||
| But if you could figure out a way for regular people that have no desire to do that, to use it as recreation and then get fit. | ||
| Because I know a lot of people got fit with Dance Dance Revolution. | ||
| It's no joke. | ||
| No joke. | ||
| I was exhausting. | ||
| My girls were little at the time and we're dancing and doing that thing. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| I had to sit down on the couch. | ||
| Dude, sometimes you go to an arcade, like at a bowling alley or something, you watch some dude who's like an expert at that shit, and you're like, oh, okay. | ||
| You're river dancing. | ||
| You're like one of those guys. | ||
| Remember those river dance commercials? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There was a funny... | ||
| Wasn't it like a Nick Swartzen movie? | ||
| Was he river dancing? | ||
| He was really good at that, and that dance revolution in the arcade. | ||
| He was like real intense at it. | ||
| Was it a Sandler movie? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| That he was in, maybe? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But yeah, no, that stuff, yeah. | ||
| You're playing the Wii when we do the Wii and play tennis and all that stuff together. | ||
| You're moving! | ||
| What happened? | ||
| This one can hold your... | ||
| I was going to see around her. | ||
| Look, she's swimming! | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| That first one I showed you, it said it weighed 1,000 pounds. | ||
| So that gets into, like, it's going to be an issue getting them into a place where you could use it. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| This is a little smaller. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| This is called Silvercord, I guess. | ||
| She's kicking things. | ||
| It's holding her weight up. | ||
| This is wild. | ||
| She's doing the breaststroke. | ||
| That's pretty crazy. | ||
| Hung out in the air doing the breaststroke. | ||
| That is wild. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Because if you can walk in VR, I feel like the next step is you're going to want to be able to jump, and if you can't physically jump, you have to hit a button to jump. | ||
| That pulls you right back out. | ||
| Right, you can jump and land on things like bam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| They're getting there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it just seems like it's a perfect sort of mesh, the perfect mixing of a healthy activity with an addictive activity. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, you can turn a positive into a negative, because the negative has always been, for me at least, they're just a massive waste of my time. | ||
| I get crazy with video games. | ||
| I can't fuck with them. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Like, Jamie and I talked about it, like, with the new place. | ||
| Like, when we go to Texas, we're gonna bring the video games? | ||
| Like, no! | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| I can't. | ||
| I just can't. | ||
| Because you can't just play a little bit? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| To me, it's like a cocaine addict. | ||
| I came in one day when you were in that back room playing, and you were in a frenzy. | ||
| I was like, I'm just going to wait over here. | ||
| You were like... | ||
| Well, they're so fun. | ||
| They're so good. | ||
| And they're so well... | ||
| I mean, it's too good. | ||
| It's too exciting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| It's too good. | ||
| And you had really high-tech stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the graphics today are just amazing. | ||
| What they can do today with video games is just so special. | ||
| When people get shot, they explode. | ||
| You see blood splatter all over the place. | ||
| And they don't look like people either, right? | ||
| They look like ogres with mechanical arms. | ||
| And so they make noise like... | ||
| If only you could do it for 20 minutes and be satisfied. | ||
| Yeah, please. | ||
| It'd be good. | ||
| Well, the way to do it would be to make sure that you get exhausted doing it, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| So that you could only play because you're running on this omnidirectional treadmill. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And if you did that, like, put, like, 10-pound weights on your arms. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 10-pound weights on each arm, 10-pound weights on each leg. | ||
| Bro, you'd be beat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You'd be beaten down. | ||
| Even 5 pounds. | ||
| Fuck even a pound. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| A pound on each limb. | ||
| If they just made you simulate carrying the guns you're running around in the game with, you'd be tired as shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a real good point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Give you a real metal thing. | ||
| Like a heavy metal gun with a trigger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a fucking cannon. | ||
| Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. | ||
| With something that kicks. | ||
| Body armor plus body armor plus your pack. | ||
| Haptic feedback. | ||
| The whole deal. | ||
| You get hit. | ||
| You get zapped a little bit. | ||
| Have you ever seen... | ||
| You know what Sandbox is? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Sandbox is a very similar situation. | ||
| It's a VR game that you go to a warehouse, and they have it set up so you have the parameters of the game, and you put on a haptic feedback vest, you have VR goggles, and they hand you guns and all these different things, and then you go and you duke it out with zombies. | ||
| There's this one, Deadwood Mansion, it's called. | ||
| See if you find the dead. | ||
| See, this is what it looks like. | ||
| I've done this a bunch of times with my family. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| With your family? | ||
| Yeah, you do it. | ||
| You do it together, and you have fun. | ||
| You go missions together. | ||
| You shoot aliens and zombies. | ||
| And you feel like you're all in that reality? | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| It's obviously fake, but it looks like that. | ||
| When you see the video of it, it looks like that. | ||
| But it looks good. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| It's certainly discernible. | ||
| This is Deadwood Mansion. | ||
| So the zombies come running at you and you gun them down. | ||
| Look at them. | ||
| Ah! | ||
| Dude, it freaks you out. | ||
| And you get a shotgun. | ||
| Apparently that's the new update. | ||
| You get a shotgun with the Deadwood Mansion. | ||
| But they're running at you and you're fucking gunning them down. | ||
| Look at them. | ||
| That's what they look like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blah, blah, blah. | |
| And like, does someone die? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you die. | |
| Does your wife go down and she's out of the game and you guys keep going? | ||
| No, she's not out of the game. | ||
| You can bring her back to life, but you have to hold onto her shoulder and you recharge her with your energy. | ||
| That's pretty great. | ||
| So when you see them, when they're down, they turn black and white. | ||
| And then when you grab them, you go, and you bring them back to life. | ||
| And you, when you get killed, you see in black and white, so you know you're dead. | ||
| I have not gone, but I'm wondering, have your kids or have you ever gone with them to like a... | ||
| VR haunted house, or does that exist yet? | ||
| Because if it doesn't, that's going to be... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They probably can't do it this year, obviously, but... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Good call. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| That would be great. | ||
| That would be a good call. | ||
| Really creepy. | ||
| Walk around an entire place that's made for it. | ||
| Well, they had, at Universal, they had a Walking Dead attraction, and they had actors... | ||
| And so they had people, like, full-on Walking Dead makeup. | ||
| And, like, some of it was, like, mechanical, and some of it was, like... | ||
| In the haunted house? | ||
| Yeah, and they would come out... | ||
| But it was, like, a real person. | ||
| You're like, fuck! | ||
| I walked through that. | ||
| My daughter lost a flip-flop, and I had to go back for it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
LAUGHTER She ran and left her flip-flop? | |
| She left her flip-flop. | ||
| She was probably 10. Oh my god, you brought her in at 10? | ||
| And she was too scared to go back, so I had to go back and get it. | ||
| Pardon me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And everybody thought I was a thing. | ||
| All the other people, I'm just walking through looking for this flip-flop. | ||
| Here's the scariest one yet! | ||
| Scary dad! | ||
| Oh my god, it's that guy from Italy. | ||
| Yeah, it was so funny. | ||
| What's his name again? | ||
| Carlo Verdone. | ||
| It's Carlo! | ||
| Verdone! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's dead! | |
| He's dead. | ||
| He's coming for to kill us. | ||
| Carlo, we miss you. | ||
| And I got the... | ||
| And I found it. | ||
| Found the flip-flop. | ||
| Came back like a hero. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Congratulations. | |
| Boy, what a low bar there is for being a hero in 2020. Did you get the flip-flop, you fucking hero? | ||
| I got the flip-flop. | ||
| I did it. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I feel like things will probably get weirder before they correct themselves, right? | ||
| See, look at this. | ||
| This is the constant narrative. | ||
| We're having a good time, and it goes back to COVID. I wasn't even thinking COVID. I was thinking, like, aliens coming or Halloween decorations coming to life and hunting us down. | ||
| There's a couple more curveballs waiting for us. | ||
| Well, the Trump getting COVID, I thought was like, wow, this movie's lit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was like, this is a crazy fucking simulation, whatever we chose. | ||
| Because I'm like, if he dies, that's what I was thinking. | ||
| If he dies and Nancy Pelosi becomes president and Pence and Pelosi are battling over who wears the crown... | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I mean, that was really what could have happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, Pence would have become vice president, would have become president, but then- Then he gets it. | ||
| What happens when they're, you know, a month later is the election, right? | ||
| I know. | ||
| And then the election is not going to be, we're going to find out November 4th who the winner is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's going to be weeks, if not months. | ||
| Unless it's a landslide. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Months. | |
| But I don't think you're going to see a landslide. | ||
| If it's a landslide, then you'll find out that night or the next day. | ||
| I don't believe that's true. | ||
| If it's not a landslide, then... | ||
| If it's a landslide, I'm sorry, if it's a landslide with in-person voting. | ||
| Right, but it's not going to be. | ||
| It's going to be so many mail-in ballots. | ||
| You don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, you know everything. | ||
| You told me already. | ||
| But I have to pretend that I don't, so the conversation keeps going. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen? | ||
| Who do you think is going to win? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, they're saying that Biden's up like 16 points. | ||
| But I mean, we've been through this before, right? | ||
| It was 96% chance that Hillary was going to win. | ||
| So I can't look at any of those. | ||
| Biden is up in polls. | ||
| Polls are only answered by people so fucking stupid to answer polls. | ||
| You always have to take that into consideration. | ||
| Here's what I say to people. | ||
| Have you ever responded to a poll? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Have you? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| No one with a life. | ||
| It's really true. | ||
| So people who are dumb think Biden should be president. | ||
| Great. | ||
| What is the numbers we're talking about? | ||
| How many people? | ||
| Yeah, you don't know. | ||
| We only poll people with flat tires in white neighborhoods. | ||
| I do kind of... | ||
| They're waiting for AAA. It's the only time we can get them to talk to us. | ||
| Like, who's being polled? | ||
| I've never even seen a poll. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No one's asked me to poll. | ||
| I don't know anybody who's been asked to poll. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Never. | ||
| I don't know if people... | ||
| I want more choices. | ||
| I think, oh yeah, that would be amazing. | ||
| That's what I want. | ||
| I want better choices. | ||
| I don't want this polarization. | ||
| I hate it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, they should put together teams of like mixed, these four people and these four people of mixed ideas and get the best ideas and then they're going to run as a platform rather than as an individual. | ||
| I think, initially, the idea of representative democracy and the idea of a Republican Party and a Democratic Party was a great idea. | ||
| But I think the problem is people form this loyalty to this side and this blind loyalty, blind loyalty to their team, and then they have confirmation bias and everything this team does that's good, that's all you focus on, and you decide that this team's narrative is correct and you subscribe. | ||
| Full on to the ideology and the other people are the enemy and the other people are sexist and racist or the other people are Marxist and leftist or whatever you decide is wrong with the other people. | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| I think what I'm getting at is I think the problem is groups. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| The problem is identifying in any group, whether it's Antifa or Proud Boys or the fucking, whatever, figure out a group. | ||
| Pick a group. | ||
| The idea of identifying with a group is a terrible idea. | ||
| Terrible idea. | ||
| Could you imagine being so all in with either party? | ||
| Like, could you imagine that you're just blindly following everything they say just because they're that color? | ||
| Yeah, because I know a lot of people that do. | ||
| I know a lot of people that are all blue, all they do. | ||
| I do, too. | ||
| Up and down. | ||
| It's insane, though. | ||
| I've seen it on people's Twitter page. | ||
| I vote blue across the board. | ||
| Yeah, it's like you stop thinking. | ||
| It's just nuts. | ||
| You just stop thinking for yourself. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| And the idea that only bad people vote Republican is ridiculous, too. | ||
| Or only dumb people or weak people or bad people vote Democrat is ridiculous, too. | ||
| And this narrative gets reinforced by the fact that there are these two opposing teams. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that you have to pick a side. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's also reinforced by social pressure, like your neighbors and your friends and coworkers. | ||
| And social media. | ||
| Well, and also the industry that you're in. | ||
| In certain industries, it's frowned upon to vote left. | ||
| In certain industries, it's frowned upon to vote right. | ||
| And you want to succeed in that business. | ||
| And so you sort of like, I mean, you know, how many hedge fund people? | ||
| It's got to break up at some point. | ||
| Do you think so? | ||
| Yeah, I do. | ||
| I think it has to. | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| One of the reasons I think that I don't think, if I would go out on a limb, that I think Trump is going to lose is because people just can't deal with the anxiety. | ||
| Like we were saying earlier, it can't be at a hot boil. | ||
| We've been at a hot boil for four years and people are exhausted. | ||
| They just want it to go back to someone calm. | ||
| Just calm this shit down. | ||
| Just calm it all down. | ||
| Well, it would be nice if there was someone who you thought was going to calm it down. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think anybody but Trump would calm it down. | ||
| Honestly. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Put Romney in. | ||
| Put anybody in. | ||
| That I think. | ||
| Put anybody in. | ||
| I do think that if Romney was, he is a much more measured, much more calm guy. | ||
| Joe, compared to Trump, everybody is. | ||
| And the funny thing was against Obama, he looked like some sort of weird religious radical. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You remember? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I do. | ||
| People are like, get Romney the fuck away from us. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Romney? | |
| I know. | ||
| You want Mitt Romney? | ||
| I'd vote for him tomorrow. | ||
| That weirdo. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That weirdo. | ||
| He's a Quaker or some shit I heard. | ||
| Yeah, he wears magic underpants. | ||
| He wears magic underpants. | ||
| We can't have him in there. | ||
| He's a Mormon. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Just a gentleman. | ||
| Just a gentleman who has a nice family who's just mellow. | ||
| He's in a really nice cult. | ||
| If you're going to be in a cult, the Mormons are the nicest cult members. | ||
| So nice. | ||
| They're the kindest, sweetest people. | ||
| They're so nice. | ||
| They're really family-oriented. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And all the cult members, I had neighbors that were Mormons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All kidding aside. | |
| They were so kind. | ||
| They were so friendly. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| So nice. | ||
| Delightful. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| Genuinely nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They believe the dumbest shit. | ||
| I mean, it was like when you talk to them about what they believe, like, oh my goodness. | ||
| Yeah, God bless. | ||
| But you're like, who cares? | ||
| God bless. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| I'm not being friendly. | ||
| Joseph Smith was how old? | ||
| 14? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| He found golden tablets contained the lost work of Jesus and only he could read it because he had a magic rock? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't care about that part of him. | ||
| I just care about how he acts in the parking lot with me. | ||
| I was just down in Salt Lake a couple weeks ago, and I was driving on the street, and I saw these two dudes with white shirts with ties on, with a clipboard, walking door to door. | ||
| I'm like, God bless him. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta go out and do it. | ||
| Literally, God bless him. | ||
| I know, exactly. | ||
| Worse things in the world than that. | ||
| There's worse things in the world than that. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And I don't care about what they're into. | ||
| Just mellow it out. | ||
| And I honestly do believe that you can take almost anybody that's in office and run them, and it'll be more mellow. | ||
| They may not agree with everything that they're doing, but it will just turn this temperature down. | ||
| And I don't think people... | ||
| I think people are exhausted. | ||
| They're exhausted. | ||
| We can't live at this pace, at this level, at this nonsense. | ||
| But you think this is all because of... | ||
| I think a lot of this, when you go back to the social dilemma, I think a lot of this is going to happen no matter what. | ||
| I think Trump is a particularly polarizing figure because he's got that fuck you attitude and you come at him, he comes at you harder. | ||
| He's just a battler, right? | ||
| It's more than a battler. | ||
| It doesn't help anything. | ||
| There's no soothing from him. | ||
| There's none. | ||
| That's your job as a leader. | ||
| But I think we would be polarized no matter what right now. | ||
| There's definitely lines drawn. | ||
| We're definitely polarized. | ||
| But if it's at the top... | ||
| You had a real Republican just saying, chill out, let's go to work on this stuff. | ||
| Like who? | ||
| Give me an example. | ||
| It wouldn't be this heightened thing. | ||
| Give me an example. | ||
| Other than the cult member. | ||
| Other than Romney? | ||
| Is there anybody out there that stands out as someone that you would want to be representing that side? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Kasich was kind of normal. | ||
| Yeah, he seems normal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like that guy. | ||
| He seems measured. | ||
| Yeah, he seems like he's just going to be a grown-up. | ||
| Just be an adult. | ||
| Just give me a mellow adult. | ||
| He's going to do the right things. | ||
| I'm waiting for Dan Crenshaw. | ||
| Crenshaw? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know that. | ||
| He's been on the podcast several times. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Navy SEAL. Lost an eye in combat. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oklahoma. | ||
| No, Texas. | ||
| He's in Houston. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Super, super, like, reasonable, intelligent, rational, well thought out. | ||
| Really enjoy talking to him. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Really enjoy talking to him. | ||
| I'm gonna look him up. | ||
| He makes sense. | ||
| I don't always necessarily agree with him, nor do I think I should. | ||
| I think there's a, I mean, there's room for disagreement. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But the way he communicates is very rational, very sensible, very intelligent. | ||
| And the man is like a legitimate American hero. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That guy in that office shouldn't be as frantic and stuff as anybody on the edges. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That guy's got to be the measured adult that kind of takes in all of those people and makes sense of it and translates it and leads and Keeps us all united, makes everybody... | ||
| The most upsetting part of this run has been just turning Americans on Americans. | ||
| That's never happened in my life, where we're making each other the enemy, and we're not. | ||
| You and you tour, and you see people, they're not at each other's throats. | ||
| They just want to raise their kids, make their money, live their lives. | ||
| We're not the enemy. | ||
| And painting others... | ||
| Other Americans as a threat, as a foreign threat, has been so upsetting. | ||
| Who's doing that? | ||
| Trump. | ||
| How's he doing that? | ||
| Painting other Americans as a foreign threat? | ||
| Yeah, constantly says that the left is... | ||
| Just out to destroy, and those people... | ||
| I mean, everything he says is painting it that way. | ||
| Well, it's not everything he says, for sure. | ||
| You kind of might be exaggerating a little bit there. | ||
| Well, I mean, it's always inflaming, and it's always... | ||
| He runs as... | ||
| There's no foreign power is the enemy. | ||
| It's the others in this country are the enemy. | ||
| Well, he does think China's the enemy. | ||
| He does think there's real issues with China. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| And I think there are real issues economically with China. | ||
| Yeah, I don't understand any of that. | ||
| It's all above our pay grade, right? | ||
| Yeah, I don't understand any of that. | ||
| I don't understand the nuance of... | ||
| We're a couple of touring joke-slingers talking shit about global politics. | ||
| But I do know when somebody is turning us against each other, and he likes doing that. | ||
| Well, he certainly likes the battle, you know, and that was what I admired most about Obama, was that the way he commanded respect was just with grace. | ||
| The way he handled himself at press conferences, the way he discussed things, he was very measured. | ||
| Even when he was attacked, you know, he would be measured. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was a statesman. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just keep your head. | ||
| That's what we need. | ||
| And it makes us all come down. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's what we need, really, legitimately. | ||
| If the dad in the house is an alcoholic and he comes home and you don't know who's coming in that day, is he going to attack me or is he going to... | ||
| Everyone's nervous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's kind of the way the country feels. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If dad just comes home and he's home at six and just has dinner and watches the ball game and he just sits there and he's nice. | ||
| I like your simplistic way of describing. | ||
| I don't think it's accurate, but I understand what you're saying. | ||
| But it's an analogy. | ||
| It's an analogy. | ||
| I think we all need to get on mushrooms. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think we need mushroom rituals. | ||
| When's the last time you took mushrooms? | ||
| A couple weeks ago. | ||
| A couple weeks ago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I've been to Texas, so more than a couple weeks. | ||
| Where'd you do it? | ||
| What was the atmosphere? | ||
| My studio. | ||
| I did some during the Post Malone podcast. | ||
| You did? | ||
| Yeah, we did Mushrooms together. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| Did you get giggly in the middle of the podcast? | ||
| Yeah, we got pretty silly. | ||
| Oh, I gotta listen to that. | ||
| I think people need something that connects them to some sense that there's something more to life. | ||
| Than just what we're experiencing in front of us. | ||
| I've said it before and I'll say it again. | ||
| We need some religious ritual. | ||
| We need something that transcends... | ||
| Transcendental meditation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| I know, you're into that. | ||
| But I don't like the results with you. | ||
| I'm not impressed, so... | ||
| It hasn't really been compelling. | ||
| I see what you're saying, but I'm like, yeah. | ||
| I'm not buying it. | ||
| Guy's over there just drinking pour over and sitting on his couch thinking all is awesome. | ||
| Complaining about Trump. | ||
| I don't see any enlightenment over there. | ||
| It's... | ||
| Him and Frank on the couch. | ||
| Me and Frank hanging out. | ||
| Making bread. | ||
| But it is that thing that you're talking about. | ||
| It's the same thing that drugs access. | ||
| It's the same thing that religion runs after, but without any dogma, without any leaders, without any thing. | ||
| Clarity. | ||
| It's just a kind of a sense, a growing sense as you do it over time, that there is... | ||
| A bigger consciousness that there's something that is more compelling and more uniting with all of us than what we're shown on the surface. | ||
| Well, I've been doing a lot of breath exercises, breathing exercises. | ||
| I do these, the one that I enjoy the most because it puts me in kind of a trance. | ||
| It's six long seconds in, six deep breaths, like a six-second deep breath, and a six-second exhale. | ||
| And I just do this in a cycle. | ||
| So I count one, two, three, four, five, six. | ||
| One, two, three, four, five, six. | ||
| And I do it like I try to be as honest as I can, but the most important thing is to get it rhythmic. | ||
| So six seconds in, six seconds out, six seconds. | ||
| And dude, it's crazy. | ||
| I'll sit there and I'll think... | ||
| 10 minutes has gone by and it's 45 minutes later. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'll check because I set a timer when I do it and I just decide at a certain point in time to stop. | ||
| And it's anxiety scrubbing. | ||
| It's like I'm cleaning my mind of extraneous bullshit that's not... | ||
| It's just things that are not necessary that are getting in the way of like noise. | ||
| Crackling life noise. | ||
| Like... | ||
| I'm very busy, right? | ||
| I do a lot of shit. | ||
| I've got a lot of things going on and I have this mind that tries to find things to think about. | ||
| I'll lie in bed and I'll get a thought in my head about asteroids. | ||
| Or something nutty that I don't need to think about right now. | ||
| Or I'll think about the volcanoes under Yellowstone. | ||
| What happens if one does erupt? | ||
| How does one deal with that? | ||
| And then all of a sudden it's fucking two hours later and I'm lying in bed consumed with this thought. | ||
| The brain goes after it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For me, the best way to stay present is through these breathing exercises. | ||
| I found it's a great relief to me. | ||
| And that's the way I describe it, anxiety scrubbing. | ||
| Scrubs away. | ||
| Yeah, that's very similar to the way I describe it. | ||
| Yours is, you have a mantra, right? | ||
| I have a mantra. | ||
| And you just keep repeating that mantra, and it just gives your brain a cue, basically. | ||
| It's going to start thinking about this and going a little deeper and leaving all of that stuff up here. | ||
| Leaving all of that dates and anxiety and all that stuff that you're thinking about here in the world that you need to think about. | ||
| But it's just giving your brain... | ||
| Permission, like a little portal to go to a different state of consciousness. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| And you just kind of hang there. | ||
| And sometimes it's still busy, the thoughts will still kind of come in, but 20 minutes pops off and you come out and it's exactly what you're describing. | ||
| You've scrubbed your... | ||
| Nervous system free. | ||
| You reset. | ||
| You reset the computer. | ||
| I think we operate too much on momentum, and I think thoughts and little ideas, maybe anxiety, they cling to you as you're going along, and then they're stuck with you. | ||
| And then you've got all these things that are stuck with you, whether it's bills or relationships or struggle or commitments, things you have to do, things you have to resolve, things that you're... | ||
| The news. | ||
| Requirements of you. | ||
| Things. | ||
| All these different things, focal points of attention. | ||
| And you can carry them around like weights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And what the meditation does, it doesn't make those disappear, but it makes you able to carry those. | ||
| There's a different perspective in carrying all that. | ||
| It cleans. | ||
| For me, I feel like if my brain was like a cylinder, like a standing cylinder, it would have all this shit stuck to it all over the place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That maybe I don't need to be aware of all the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it doesn't help. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| No. | ||
| But these breathing exercises for me allows me... | ||
| I really do go into a trance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It's really strange. | ||
| And I like the fact that I'm doing a breath exercise as well. | ||
| So it's meditation, but it's also breathing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like both things are happening at the same time. | ||
| So there's an exercise aspect to it. | ||
| Because breathing exercise is like... | ||
| When you're sitting there, I'm like, here. | ||
| This is what I'm doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
doing like how long is he gonna do I can I keep going. | |
| I keep going. | ||
| I'll do that for 45 minutes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But exactly at that pace. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And when I'm doing it like that, it does... | ||
| Physically. | ||
| ...puts me into a trance. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's also an exercise for my lungs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, the breathing thing is good. | ||
| It's heavy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You need to do it because there's a lot to carry for all of us, for every single person. | ||
| No, mine's pretty light. | ||
| All the things we talked about today. | ||
| It's pretty light. | ||
| It's all pretty light. | ||
| What about the bread? | ||
| The bread's going well. | ||
| Bread is meditation. | ||
| It is a little bit, right? | ||
| Yeah, and I'm not kidding. | ||
| It's probably in a craft, like making delicious bread. | ||
| Yeah, it's like stand-up. | ||
| It's like you're always working on perfecting this craft and letting your mind go... | ||
| And just deal with that. | ||
| And when you're doing that, you're not thinking about anything else in the world. | ||
| It's a small form. | ||
| I need to be there right when it comes out of the oven and cut into it and then put butter on it right then. | ||
| It's pretty badass. | ||
| That's probably the best. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Is that the best? | ||
| Like right then? | ||
| Not right then. | ||
| How much do you weigh? | ||
| I mean, it's pretty close. | ||
| It's like a steak where you let it rest? | ||
| Yeah, you let it rest. | ||
| How long do you let it rest? | ||
| Some people say let it rest like another couple hours. | ||
| Who are those fucking people? | ||
| What do they want? | ||
| Cold bread? | ||
| People who are so fat that they're filled up with bread. | ||
| I'm still chewing the one from last night. | ||
| I've got jam in my teeth. | ||
| I've got seeds. | ||
| Warm bread, though. | ||
| So good. | ||
| There's only one way to get warm bread. | ||
| You can't wait for it to cool off. | ||
| A friend of mine gave me this butter that he found here that he had had in France. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Butter from France. | ||
| Oh, this butter on that bread was just insane. | ||
| It's all I've been doing during the pandemic. | ||
| I just keep baking bread and driving it to comedians. | ||
| I've seen every comedian you know. | ||
| And delivered bread? | ||
| And delivered bread. | ||
| Well, that's cool. | ||
| It's become like my little... | ||
| That's such a nice thing. | ||
| Getting out of the house and you go, drive up and see Ali Wong and hang and give her her bread. | ||
| I miss our treats. | ||
| Go see Leslie Jones and hang with her and give her her bread. | ||
| Aww. | ||
| I'm just running around LA feeding people. | ||
| Bert, Tom. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| It is. | ||
| That really is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| It's a cool thing to do. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It keeps you connected. | ||
| You're giving people... | ||
| I'm making too much of it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| How often are you doing it? | ||
| I can't eat it. | ||
| Like twice a week. | ||
| So it's four loaves. | ||
| Are you still doing it for a podcast as well? | ||
| Are you still doing that? | ||
| I'm still doing the Breaking Bread podcast. | ||
| So you're making bread doing that as well? | ||
| Well, I don't do... | ||
| No, for the podcast, we just talk and eat. | ||
| But you were doing something where you were making bread. | ||
| I was making... | ||
| Yeah, on my YouTube channel, I show people how to bake bread. | ||
| You're still doing that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So how often are you doing that? | ||
| Not that often. | ||
| I haven't done one in like a month or two. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| But you're making all this bread. | ||
| I just get it rolling. | ||
| But I don't understand. | ||
| I don't want to show them how I'm doing every night. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| Well, then talk during it. | ||
| Just talk shit about Trump. | ||
| People get mad at you. | ||
| It'll boost up your channel. | ||
| But he likes Romney. | ||
| What's with this guy? | ||
| This guy's a Romney fan? | ||
| Come on, you liberal. | ||
| You dirty liberal cuck. | ||
| What happened to cuck? | ||
| Cuck's not around anymore. | ||
| Here he is. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| Smelling your starter. | ||
| I remember when that shirt was new. | ||
| Gooey Fun, the new band name? | ||
| That's you, buddy. | ||
| Yeah, I like it. | ||
| Listen, we already did three hours. | ||
| This is the weirdest time warp. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| It's the weirdest time warp. | ||
| It flies by. | ||
| It's about three hours? | ||
| What are we at? | ||
| Yeah, in 30 seconds it will be. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| So cool. | ||
| Three hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I miss having you in LA. I miss having me in LA too. | |
| And it's weird because, like, you know, I mean, the store, it'll probably feel more pronounced when the comedy store opens up and you're not around. | ||
| But just knowing that you're not there is a little weird. | ||
| But I like that I can just get on a plane and come here. | ||
| It's pretty great. | ||
| I like that you can, too. | ||
| When I open up a club out here... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You must come. | ||
| I'll come anytime you want. | ||
| You know, I'm not going to stop coming. | ||
| I have multiple stages of things I'm doing on here. | ||
| We're moving into stage two. | ||
| Stage three. | ||
| The positive pandemic phases. | ||
| Stage three will be the club, and then stage four will be a gigantic ranch where I'll run my psychedelic cult. | ||
| I'm in! | ||
| Don't tell the police. | ||
| I haven't had mushrooms in so long. | ||
| So long. | ||
| Talk to me in 10 months. | ||
| That's the projected plan. | ||
| Ari gave me some when he did his TV show. | ||
| I wouldn't trust Ari's mushrooms for a fucking second. | ||
| Who knows what's in there? | ||
| He'll put MDMA and acid in your mushrooms and laugh. | ||
| But they're so old. | ||
| They're like five years old now. | ||
| And I still have them. | ||
| You think they're good? | ||
| Try them. | ||
| Just take a little bit. | ||
| Just take a little bit. | ||
| Take a cap. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just walk around the house. | ||
| Don't tell anybody. | ||
| Just give everybody hugs. | ||
| Clean out the pipes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just clean out the pipes. | ||
| Just a little bit to get going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just connect. | ||
| We're all in it together, gang. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| We're all in it together. | ||
| Whatever way you get there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You're the best. | ||
| You're the best, Tom Papa. | ||
| You is, man. | ||
| I do miss having you around. | ||
| And I miss you, Brad. | ||
| I'll keep coming. | ||
| We'll keep doing this. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I love you, buddy. | ||
| Love you, too. | ||
| Bye, everyone. |
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