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July 29, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:49:17
Joe Rogan Experience #1516 - Post Malone
Participants
Main voices
j
jamie vernon
07:04
j
joe rogan
02:24:31
p
post malone
01:06:45
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Speaker Time Text
post malone
I'll give you my dog surprise.
joe rogan
That's my everybody's too high song.
unidentified
Do do do do do do do do do do do.
Right?
joe rogan
When it's like, oh no.
post malone
This guy's fucking high.
joe rogan
Hang on.
And we're rolling.
What's up, brother?
unidentified
How are you?
post malone
How are you?
joe rogan
Got you in here, man.
post malone
I'm excited.
I'm finally here.
I'm happy to be here.
joe rogan
This is your shit?
post malone
Yeah, come on.
joe rogan
Cheers, sir.
post malone
Why not?
Pleasure.
Also, precursor, I haven't slept.
joe rogan
I know.
We haven't slept.
We're on mushrooms.
Let's roll.
post malone
Yeah, fuck it.
We'll do it live.
Let's do it live!
Fuck it!
joe rogan
Why Utah, man?
Why you live in Utah?
What's that about?
post malone
I have no idea.
joe rogan
Are you from there?
post malone
No, sir.
I was born in Syracuse, New York.
unidentified
It's beautiful there.
post malone
I love it.
It's absolutely something special.
unidentified
I really love it.
joe rogan
It's got a good vibe, too, because it's almost like Utah is a secret, because everybody's scared of the Mormons, so they don't go there.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
But then you get there, and you're like, Jesus Christ, it's beautiful, and these Mormons are so nice.
post malone
Everybody's so nice.
Everybody's so nice in Utah.
So I don't remember what tour it was exactly, but there were supposed to be 5,000 people to show up.
And then we end up getting to the show and there's 17,000 people.
So we had to move it outside of the venue, right on the Salt Flats.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
post malone
And I was just like, if this isn't a sign from...
God or the aliens, then I don't know what is.
So I looked at houses on Zillow and I found one and fixed it all up.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
post malone
No, I've been there two years just about.
joe rogan
It's a good spot for a guy like you, too, because it's chill in comparison to the rest of your life, which is so crazy.
post malone
Yeah, well, that's all shit.
I couldn't do L.A. I couldn't do L.A. like...
I moved, like I said, from Syracuse to Dallas and then Dallas to LA when I was 18. It's a lot for me and I couldn't focus the way that I needed to.
joe rogan
On your music?
post malone
Yeah.
Before COVID, there's always something Going on right like 24 7 like it could be 8 in the morning.
It could be What time is it right now 2 o'clock something?
Yeah, and then you got to go do a podcast or you got to go to like a rooftop pool party or something and You know it being in Utah.
It's so Peaceful, like you said, and you get to focus on the music and wake up to the mountain.
And the sun sets at 10pm, which is bizarre, right around this time.
It's just nuts.
joe rogan
It is bizarre, right?
Like now, it's especially bizarre.
Utah's always got a weird vibe, man.
Like Zion National Park.
You go out there to the rocks and shit.
post malone
Skinwalker Ranch.
joe rogan
I've been there.
post malone
Have you?
joe rogan
Yeah, nothing happened, though.
We went there for a TV show.
We're like, come on, aliens.
Where are you, you fucks?
They weren't buying it.
post malone
You don't know Tyler.
unidentified
Tyler...
post malone
The alien.
joe rogan
Oh, no.
post malone
Yeah, that's my dog.
joe rogan
You were telling me you have an alien friend named Tyler.
post malone
Yeah, his best friend's name is Ziggy.
joe rogan
Do they visit you in the middle of the night?
post malone
No, they don't.
They just visit me during the day.
We just play beer pong.
unidentified
Damn.
joe rogan
If you do the right drugs, you can meet the aliens.
We were talking about that in the green room.
If you do the right amount of mushrooms in a tank, get in a float tank, you can meet aliens.
unidentified
100%.
post malone
Well, that's whenever you're most vulnerable.
Like you said, most vulnerable, most susceptible to...
joe rogan
That's why I like weed.
We were talking about weed makes you vulnerable and I think for someone like me that's a good thing to think that way.
Just look at all the vulnerabilities and just the reality of life and the temporary nature of it which makes me more appreciative.
The fear actually makes me more appreciative.
But mushrooms are a different animal, man.
They just bring you to this weird place that's right next door.
It's like a hall pass to this other place.
You get a VIP bracelet, you get to go into another room that's right there all the time.
post malone
But you can't go in until you get that bracelet.
And that's the whole thing.
I've been doing these microdoses for a while.
And you don't really catch it until you do like 10, like right off the rip.
But then I ate these chocolates the other day.
Some shroomies chocolates.
And me and my producer, Lou, we made a Coachella set for about two hours.
Wow.
Do you know Roblox?
joe rogan
Yes.
I have girls.
Young daughters.
A 10-year-old and a 12-year-old are obsessed with Roblox.
post malone
Do you know the death sound of Roblox?
joe rogan
No.
Oh, what's this down?
unidentified
Oof!
That's what happens when you die?
post malone
Yeah, and then I sampled it, and we made a whole two-hour set off of the deal with just a fucking four-to-the-floor kick drum, and it was the time of my life.
joe rogan
Wow.
post malone
And I felt like I got that VIP wristband, and I was backstage at Ziggy and Tyler's concert, The Aliens.
joe rogan
Do you feel like that sometimes when ideas come to you, when you're fucked up?
Like it's almost like it's a gift from somewhere?
post malone
I have no idea.
I think...
All of my ideas are kind of like mistakes.
It's like...
Because you never wake up and say, today I'm going to write the, you know, congratulations or any song.
And you kind of just...
It's all about like...
Right moment, right time.
Like I had, oh, I had like eight Bud Lights, right?
And then I took just a tiny bit of shrooms and then here it's like...
And then it just happens.
Yeah.
It's like...
It is an accident.
It is just like a spur-of-the-moment type deal to where you're like, let me...
Sing this melody over this beat or let me make this beat even.
And it just kind of happens.
I don't know.
joe rogan
That's the flow state, right?
You can get out of your own way, and you can let ideas come to you.
I was talking with this dude, his name's Joe DeSena, he runs a Spartan race.
He's a really smart guy, very interesting guy.
He does a lot of stuff for kids, he's got all these kid programs, these kids do difficult tasks, and they do it over a summer camp, it gets them better.
But we were talking about it, and we were talking about being healthy and all the benefits of being healthy, and I was like, there's a lot to that, but there's also a lot to the person who binges and creates something incredible.
We were talking about Stephen King's books.
Some of the ones he doesn't even remember are the best ones, because he was on Coke and drinking a fucking case of Bud.
It just blasted out of his head, chain-smoking cigarettes, and he doesn't even remember writing.
I think it's Cujo.
He doesn't even remember writing it.
Wrote Carrie, Half Blacked Out.
You read that book today, man?
That is one of the best fucking horror books ever.
post malone
My dad's the biggest Stephen King's fan.
Stephen King fan.
Dude.
joe rogan
He's amazing.
post malone
But, I mean, at the end of the day, it's like, to each his own.
You know what I mean?
I mean, whatever gets you through the night.
joe rogan
Some people can definitely do it straight.
I've definitely had ideas without any influence of anything before.
But I feel like sometimes things come to you when you're a little high at least, a little drunk, and they're like, I don't know if I would have ever thought about this without the weed.
They just come out of nowhere.
post malone
And that's the whole thing too.
Like drinking rose or drinking Bud Light and then a little bit of just something else.
Whether it be smoking a little bit of a J. Because I'm an anxious person.
You told me before you're not an anxious person.
joe rogan
Not really.
post malone
But I used to smoke a lot.
But now not so much.
Maybe I'll watch a funny movie and then shit.
But...
It's that stroke of genius, and you're like, if I was nothing in my blood right now but just blood, no booze, no anything, would I have thought of that?
And that's the whole different deal.
It's wild, really.
joe rogan
I think of pot the way I think of wakeboarding.
post malone
Sure.
joe rogan
Because when you're wakeboarding and you're on that wave...
I don't wakeboard, but when I watch people do it...
unidentified
I don't wakeboard either.
joe rogan
It looks awesome, right?
When they're on that and they're catching those waves, but then when they wipe out, man, they go down hard.
And that's like weed.
It's like you're not going to stay on that board forever.
If you get really fucked up, that board's going to flip over and you're going to be on your face.
post malone
Whenever you rip that big-ass trick, you do the behind-the-back double spin.
That's the stroke of genius, and that's...
That's what I think that...
There's a certain magic that goes into making a record or, you know, if you're a painter, a painting, or if you're a dancer, a fucking cool dance move.
joe rogan
I think they're all related in some way.
post malone
Yeah, there's something there that just kicks off.
And you can't control it and you can't say when it's going to happen, but it just happens.
joe rogan
Whatever that is that makes humans so interested in creating things that other people are going to enjoy.
But that's what it is.
It's like there's a weird frequency.
Humans creating things that they know other people are going to enjoy.
And if you can just get lost in the beauty of just creating the thing and get out of your own way, then these ideas will come to you.
But if you get in your own way, you have less bandwidth for the ideas.
And when they come to you, it feels like they aren't even yours.
It's like you're interacting with something.
If you have an idea for a new bit or something like that, sometimes they just come from nowhere.
Where did that come from?
What is this?
Where are our premises from?
What's an idea from?
Creativity comes from the weirdest part of your brain that no one knows how to...
You can have breathing exercises.
You can do all sorts of things to try to stimulate it.
But the reality is you can't even measure it.
You don't know when it's up, when it's down.
You just know what you're doing.
If you're making some cool shit.
post malone
That's so bizarre to think about.
Like you said, it's just really humans creating something that other humans fuck with.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
post malone
It makes you feel good.
There's something there.
joe rogan
When you're in concert and you see 15,000 people rocking out to your song, that has got to be a crazy feeling.
post malone
Yeah, it is.
Well, whenever, you know, you're on the podcast, everybody's seeing you.
Whenever you're kicking somebody in the face, everybody watching.
There's a feeling there, and it's just like...
Oh, I realize, finally, I'm not actually just one person.
Yeah.
I... As, like...
Mithril as it sounds, I'm with everybody.
You're with everybody.
In one moment in time, everybody is there doing the same thing with the same energy, the same good intention.
Yes.
It's fucking magical.
You know, it's weird.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's what you're doing, right?
You're tapping into some magic.
post malone
I'm trying.
joe rogan
But that's what it is.
If you think about what kind of alchemy is involved in making the right sounds to make people feel different.
post malone
Sure.
joe rogan
Because with a great song, man, you're giving a person a drug.
There's a dopamine rush.
You get goosebumps.
A great song will hit you.
When you're doing that, man, you're hitting that audience.
15,000 people?
And they're all vibing on this thing that you've created.
Like, that's kind of magic.
post malone
It's fucking magic!
And that's the coolest thing.
joe rogan
Because if you didn't know it existed, you would never believe someone could do it.
You're like, what are you talking about?
If there was no music at all, imagine a world with no music.
We're just animals.
They never figured out how to make melodies and bars and songs that you write down.
We're just animals.
If someone told you, hey man, I'm going to make some sounds, and people are going to lose their shit.
post malone
15,000 people are going to get it.
joe rogan
Screaming, dancing.
post malone
I always think about this too, and this is a weird thought.
You know how there's famous people throughout history.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
How the fuck do they know what they look like?
Think about in Wild West times, when they see a dude in a bar and he's like, oh, you're Crazy Bill, I've seen you.
How does that work?
joe rogan
How did they even know it was that guy?
post malone
How did they even know?
And then even somebody could say, oh, I'm Crazy Bill.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
post malone
But then how do you even believe him?
joe rogan
Well, there was imposter people all up until the internet.
You know, there's like, you can't be a fake Post Malone today.
But you could in 1970. You could play it off.
No one can get information to the real one.
post malone
But then you have to think about these stories that people tell and think if it's the imposter or if it's the real dude.
joe rogan
Right.
There's probably a lot of fuckery when it comes to Wild West stories.
post malone
Or think about even 1600s.
Like, oh, this dude was crazy with a battle axe or something.
I saw him cut nine dudes in half with one swing.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
But it's the wrong dude.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
It's not even fucking William the...
unidentified
Whatever he is.
post malone
Braveheart?
That one?
No, just a cool...
What's a cool word?
joe rogan
What's a cool name for a dude who swings battle axes?
post malone
The behemoth.
The slicer.
It was Charlie the Slicer.
joe rogan
Oh, that's hilarious.
post malone
You gotta think.
There's no way to tell.
joe rogan
But just imagine history before pictures.
What are you talking about?
Draw me a picture.
This is what the boats would look like when they would pull...
How the fuck do you know?
Like, it was an abstract idea.
The only way you could see something was someone had to draw it for you.
post malone
Right.
Well, that's what I love to think.
It used to be like Instagram filters, essentially.
Like, oh, I'm a rich dude.
I want this artist to paint me.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
But make me skinny.
unidentified
Yeah.
post malone
Like, make me ripped.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Make me a little more handsome.
post malone
Give me a bigger dick in my statue.
You know what I mean?
unidentified
Big.
joe rogan
Big old dick.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That was Instagram filters.
post malone
You're a rich person.
That's exactly what it is.
joe rogan
We have no idea what anybody really looked like.
I mean, imagine if there was like this one guy you would go to in the neighborhood and all the ladies were like, you gotta go to him.
He makes your ass look so perfect.
And like, that's how they would get their picture done.
This dude would paint some nonsense version of them.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
No one knows.
joe rogan
How do you know?
post malone
I wasn't there.
joe rogan
Fucking mirrors barely worked back then.
post malone
I wasn't there.
joe rogan
Mirrors were probably terrible back then.
post malone
When were mirrors invented?
joe rogan
They're looking at shit through fire, right?
That's the only way they light any room up.
It's fire.
They have little lamps everywhere.
It's preposterous.
They have no idea what they look like.
post malone
It doesn't work.
joe rogan
No.
post malone
It doesn't work.
joe rogan
So imagine this is how ballsy people were in like the 1400s.
There were people that would get in a boat and travel across a fucking ocean.
It would take weeks and weeks and weeks based on a drawing and some shit someone wrote down.
post malone
Yeah, it's fucking insane.
joe rogan
Insane.
post malone
You don't even know where the fuck you are.
joe rogan
Insane.
post malone
Also, there's some salty dogs and some rapscallions.
What's another pirate term?
joe rogan
Dude, I was reading about pirates off the coast of South Carolina.
Was it Blackbeard?
Is he the big one?
It just makes you think, like, Jesus Christ, these are real people that would get, like, real famous dudes who'd get in boats and show up and just fuck people up and steal all their shit.
They were famous for doing that.
post malone
So crazy.
And it's so funny you bring up Blackbeard.
Because I saw...
Somebody had like some kind of sash or like...
joe rogan
Like a Miss America?
post malone
Like a bandolier.
Yeah, exactly.
And it looked like you had a bunch of black powder pistols.
Like you got one shot and then you're out.
It's so funny.
joe rogan
That wasn't that long ago, man.
That's the early 1800s when they came up with a revolver.
The Colt came up with a revolver, and they didn't even really put it to use until the Texas Rangers.
The Texas Rangers figured out how to...
There's a guy named Jack Hayes.
I think he's the original Texas Ranger.
Basically, he was this badass dude who figured out how to fight the Indians on their turf.
They were basically like the Navy SEALs of the Texas Frontier guys who fought against the Comanches.
And this guy figured out how to use a revolver.
That wasn't that long ago, man.
post malone
That's like 1840. And it's moving so fast.
You know what they say?
They say, God made man, Samuel Colt made him equal.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's a fucking great statement.
Colt invented the revolver.
They're the ones who invented the, I think it was a five-shot revolver.
That was the first time they figured out how to fight the Comanches.
They would ride on a horse.
They'd stay on the horse.
They didn't get off the chute.
And they could shoot five times in a row.
And they had a bunch of those cartridges.
So the cartridges are already loaded.
So they'd take it off, put a new cartridge in, fully loaded, and lock it in place.
unidentified
Sure.
post malone
It was the whole wheel.
joe rogan
Yeah, the whole wheel.
So you only carry a few of those with you.
post malone
Crazy shit, man.
It's so bizarre how much shit has...
We've evolved to kill each other.
Since 1840. It's fucking insane.
joe rogan
Insane.
post malone
And even you think about, even before, whenever you had musketeers and shit, and you would just stand in a line...
And you would shoot and then a dude behind you would shoot and everybody's just shooting looking right at each other.
joe rogan
Ridiculous.
post malone
It's the craziest fucking shit.
joe rogan
They fought like that for a long time, man.
They fought with honor and dignity.
Like they would show up and blow trumpets when it was time to fight and then they'd go fight each other.
They'd all stand in a line.
post malone
You had two guys talk.
You had two guys walk up and talk, go back, and then everybody else would just shoot each other.
Point blank.
It blows my mind.
joe rogan
You know what's crazy too?
There was a lot of them would give up and they would surrender and they would hand the man their sword and they would accept it and shake their hand.
They had like weird rules of combat that everybody sort of adhered to back then.
It's very strange to read about.
post malone
It's...
It's different.
joe rogan
It's different as fuck, but it's not that long ago.
That's what's crazy.
It's like the best you could do is shoot someone with a musket or a cannon just a couple hundred years ago.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
I mean, that's manageable.
Nuclear weapons aren't manageable.
post malone
Yeah, now it's like one nuclear bomb will ruin your whole day.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That's not manageable.
post malone
At all.
It's awful.
Tyler and Ziggy are looking down at us right now.
I think that's why they're here.
I agree.
I agree wholeheartedly.
joe rogan
I think they're like, these dummies are going to do something stupid.
If aliens are real, I'm not 100% convinced, but I'm probably like 90% convinced.
But if they are real, I leave in the room for bullshit.
It's like, Jamie, get a picture of your shirt.
unidentified
Show everybody the shirt you're wearing while we're talking about that.
joe rogan
It's a UFO. It says, can they see it?
Believe that.
That's a dope shirt.
post malone
That's a saucer, if I've ever seen one.
joe rogan
I think if they're here, they're not gonna let us.
That's what I think.
post malone
Well, that's what...
joe rogan
I think they're gonna swoop in and go, hey, hey, hey!
post malone
Well, that's...
joe rogan
Fuck!
post malone
I'm 25, right?
I can't speak on anything.
But just looking from past experience...
And, you know, there's, like, drawings.
Like, even in the Mona Lisa, there's a weird thing or whatever in the background and shit.
But there's a spike.
It's a spike in like, because it's getting pretty weird here.
joe rogan
The spike, they think, it's hard to tell because sometimes when people talk about UFOs, a bunch of other people hallucinate or lie.
Like, there's a lot of that.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
So every time there's a real legit UFO, you get a bunch of nut, just nutcases, who just want to tell crazy shit about being taken aboard spaceships.
post malone
And I've seen one.
I mean, I never...
You've seen a UFO? Yeah.
joe rogan
What'd you see?
What'd it look like?
post malone
I was in, I was...
Probably 16. I was in upstate New York and it would just stay there.
Let me precursor this.
My aunt and uncle were very strict and we had to go to bed at a very strict deadline, probably 10 p.m.
I was looking out the window with my cousin and it's just a light that just stays there and then just fucking goes off.
unidentified
You can't explain it.
joe rogan
Well, if you're 17 at the time?
unidentified
16. Probably.
joe rogan
How strong is this memory when you're looking at it, when you're trying to remember it?
post malone
Medium.
joe rogan
Medium.
post malone
Yeah.
But I mean, there's something there.
joe rogan
For sure something took off and did something that didn't make sense to you.
post malone
For sure.
And then in Utah, I mean, there shit happens all the time.
I mean, even here in LA. I can't tell you how many times, because I used to live in Tarzana.
So, there was like a balcony here, and it looked kind of like...
It sounds corny.
But like a classic like force field.
Whenever you think of a force field and it just kind of goes like this and it's kind of like a dome in a circular shape.
And it just goes like this and goes back in.
In Tarzana.
Looking down at the fucking city.
And I'm like, how did no one else see this?
joe rogan
They might have.
post malone
But I was there with like fucking four other people and they saw it too.
joe rogan
The thing about unique events is if a unique event happens and it never happens again, it's hard to remember.
It's hard to be sure what you saw.
It's hard.
But if aliens are visiting us, how often are they doing it?
Unique events would probably be what it would be.
It would be like occasionally.
Once every six months someone sees one somewhere.
But they're here all the time.
They probably just know how to evade detection.
I mean, if something can travel here from another planet, it's gonna be able to know when they're being watched and when they're not being watched.
That's not gonna be hard.
post malone
That's why you gotta wonder if it's like intentional.
joe rogan
I think there's enough talk about it now that we're probably gonna find out what it is in our lifetime.
I never would think that before.
I think the government withheld information for whatever reason.
Maybe they think people are scared.
Maybe they think it's a threat to the national security to have a bunch of people worried that aliens are flying around us all the time.
There's nothing we can do about it.
Maybe they had a conversation and they thought maybe it'd be better to keep people in the quiet or keep them in the dark.
So that they don't freak out.
Because there's nothing we can do about it anyway.
If we just tell them that there's aliens that are visiting us all the time, that's not going to be good.
They're not going to pay attention to taxes and mortgage rates and the stock market.
post malone
They're going to be like, holy fuck.
They care about uranium and shit like that.
unidentified
There's aliens.
joe rogan
They're around us all the time.
People are going to freak out.
So I think little drops, like the recent one they said.
post malone
Yeah, what did the Pentagon just say?
Literally like two fucking days ago.
joe rogan
They've recovered...
Crafts that are not from this world.
Not made on earth.
post malone
Not made on earth.
joe rogan
They're basically saying we don't know what the fuck it is, but we didn't make it.
That's bananas.
And I think that's gonna lead to more and more information coming out about it where we're gonna try to get a sense of understanding.
How long have they known this?
You know how much of like all that Roswell, New Mexico shit was true.
Tell us what was going on.
post malone
It backtracking.
You gotta wonder if like, oh, we've been hiding this the whole time, or this is the first time for real.
That we don't know.
joe rogan
This is what I like to think.
I like to think that the people that are in charge at the Pentagon are patriots and they realize it's probably better, especially when you're dealing with the United States in this kind of turmoil that they're in right now.
It's crazy between racial turmoil and turmoil with the police and turmoil with people protesting in cities and blocking traffic.
There's so much crazy turmoil.
They'd be like, no one's even going to notice now.
Just say it now.
Just say, yeah, we got UFOs.
Everything is so crazy.
The news cycle of any crazy story like this is only a few days, and then people forget.
post malone
Or, it's just people already know, and it's just normalization.
And you think about movies as just normalizing you to the idea that...
I can't even...
Like the Canadian, don't quote me on this, but a Canadian someone in office was like, there's like seven species of aliens in the U.S. government.
joe rogan
It would be crazy if it was true.
You know, Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith were right all along.
post malone
Yeah, check that out.
Please fact check that for me.
joe rogan
Is he a loony person though?
post malone
I have no idea.
joe rogan
See, people can get elected and still be crazy.
post malone
That's a problem.
joe rogan
That's a problem.
When you hear about someone having a really high-profile job and they say something crazy, it doesn't mean they're not crazy.
Just because they're the prime minister of some fucking country, they could be out of their mind.
post malone
What do we got?
Something close to that.
How close?
joe rogan
Where is it?
Canada's former defense minister claims that aliens are real.
Apparently there is a humanoid-esque race of aliens called the Tall Whites living among us.
Huh.
It's Adam Curry.
post malone
What publication is this?
joe rogan
It's Adam Curry.
post malone
Is this Vice?
jamie vernon
Yeah, it's on Vice.
It's on Vice and there's a few other places.
post malone
There's a few.
So it's like a real deal.
jamie vernon
He definitely said it, it seems like.
joe rogan
Come on.
post malone
That's crazy shit!
joe rogan
Yeah, that is crazy shit.
The thing is, is that guy nuts?
Like, what else does he believe in?
You know, how does he feel about ghosts?
Right?
post malone
Do you believe in ghosts?
How often do you?
joe rogan
I don't not believe.
I don't not believe in ghosts.
I've never experienced a ghost.
post malone
Ghosts are real.
But I can't explain it.
joe rogan
They might be.
They might be real.
post malone
But I don't know if it's a ghost.
joe rogan
Here's the thing about ghosts.
There's so many stories of them.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
There's so many.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Now, is it because people are just scared and their fucking senses are on heightened alert and they see things that aren't really there?
That could be it.
Because when it's dark out and you're tired and you're moving through the hallway, first of all, you might be half asleep anyway, but you hear things, you get scared, your senses get really heightened.
And maybe you might see something that's not even really there.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
It's just your own brain and your paranoia fucking with you.
Because it's always happening at night under low light conditions.
It's always weird things that are fleeting and then they're gone.
post malone
But it's not always in the night.
It's not always in the night.
joe rogan
It's always in the dark though, right?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
You're never like at the beach.
Is there ghosts at the beach?
post malone
There might be ghosts at the beach.
That's why I think they're bullshit.
joe rogan
It depends on what beach you're at.
There's no ghosts at the beach.
post malone
No, but your house is just as haunted in the day as it is at night.
joe rogan
But why not the beach?
Listen, the beach at night is scary.
The beach during the day, not scary at all.
If you're a girl and you're walking on the beach at night, that's a fucking dangerous place to be, right?
There's a lot of psychos out there and serial killers and creeps and rapists.
You're just walking on that beach by yourself.
That's scary at night.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
But in the day, it's awesome.
In the day, you're just walking on the beach.
post malone
I'm not a beach guy anyways.
I'm a mountain guy.
Ooh.
There might be some more creepy guys in the mountain.
joe rogan
That's another one.
post malone
But they're more sparse.
joe rogan
Everything's scary in the woods.
post malone
But I'm saying, your house is just as, this place, this building is just as haunted in the daytime as it is at nighttime.
joe rogan
I don't think this one's haunted.
I've been here at night.
post malone
See?
joe rogan
Here's an argument for something being haunted.
The comedy store in Hollywood.
Because it used to be Ciro's nightclub.
It used to be owned by Bugsy Siegel.
And apparently, the word is, they killed a bunch of fucking people there.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
And almost everyone that I know that works there, everyone who's managed it, works there a long time.
They have some weird shit happen to them.
Weird shit.
Like, they see someone in the kitchen, and they go to say something to them, they turn around, and then they turn back again, the person's gone.
Like, weird shit.
Like, old friends you haven't seen in forever wandering through the hallway, and they go up the stairs and you can't find them.
There's like a bunch of stories like that.
Now, granted, there's a lot of people who've done a lot of drugs at the Comedy Store.
That has to be factored in.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
But there's so many stories worldwide of ghosts.
I don't think it's impossible to...
I think it's possible that things leave a memory.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like, maybe if you hate someone so much, you leave a memory on the space.
post malone
That's a stone tape theory.
joe rogan
Yeah.
The what?
Stone tape?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Stone tape?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
What is it?
post malone
That the energy of a life is like...
Left on material shit like the bricks on the wall.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
Or the curtain here.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
You know.
And that's like...
I don't know if that's a stone tape theory.
Don't quote me on that.
Don't quote me on that.
Can you look up the stone tape theory for me?
joe rogan
Stone tape.
post malone
But it's...
Well, because I'm friends with Zach Bagans from Ghost Adventures, right?
unidentified
Oh.
post malone
And it's like...
joe rogan
Did he ever take you to a haunted house?
unidentified
No.
post malone
We did a whole episode.
You should check it out.
joe rogan
Did you get scared?
post malone
It's terrifying.
It's terrifying, man.
And in his museum, so apparently there's a thing called the Dybbuk Box, which is one of the most haunted items in the world, apparently.
And he wanted to...
So we took the glass case off of the Dybbuk box, which is in his museum in Vegas.
And he thought it was a sick-ass idea to put the ashes of a lady who died while she was possessed on top.
unidentified
Whoa.
post malone
And then I was...
My plane almost crashed.
I was in a car accident.
My house got robbed and I had bite marks on my arm.
And he hit the wall like I've never seen someone in fear so hard as whenever he touched it.
I don't know if it's someone who's dead or if it's a demon or if it's fucking something dimensional.
But it's something there that goes bump in the night, I suppose.
Stone Tape Theory, what is that?
joe rogan
Here it is.
Haunted Rocks, the Stone Tape Theory.
The Stone Tape Theory is frequently used as a science-y sounding quasi-explanation to explain hauntings.
Amateur paranormal investigators use the idea to account for the appearances of images, sound, and apparitions that do not interact directly with people.
Instead, they play out like a movie or recording.
This is the most commonly termed residual haunting.
See, this is what I was saying.
post malone
Two for two, by the way.
Ladies and gentlemen.
joe rogan
Congratulations.
Nailed it.
When you think about an alien sighting, if you saw an alien and you never saw one again for the rest of your life, it would fuck with your memory, even if the alien was real.
If a saucer emerged in front of you and then took off, that's the same thing with a ghost.
Like if you saw a fucking ghost, if you walked into your basement to go get a screw for something, and you saw an apparition of a woman who's like staring you down.
Did you ever see that Guillermo del Toro movie about the lady who's a ghost who adopts kids?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
Dude, it's a dark movie.
What is it called?
Mother?
What is it called?
unidentified
It's fucking creepy.
post malone
Is it?
Do you like horror movies?
joe rogan
I love them.
post malone
Me too.
unidentified
I love them.
post malone
I'm a dirty little bitch.
I love horror movies.
jamie vernon
I think it's called Mama.
joe rogan
Mama.
Yes, that's it.
post malone
Oh, is it?
joe rogan
Bro, it's so creepy.
post malone
That's not with two Swedish kids, right?
joe rogan
Um, I don't remember.
post malone
Does she have two sons?
joe rogan
Did you see this?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
She has two kids.
No, I haven't seen that.
Well, I don't want to give it away.
I don't want to give the story away.
But it's crazy.
She finds these kids in the woods and raises them.
She's a ghost.
And it's a fucking terrifying movie.
post malone
She's a ghost.
joe rogan
Wait, is that a spoiler?
And so people adopt the kids.
They find the kids.
I can't tell you anymore.
post malone
Spoiler alert!
joe rogan
I can't tell you anymore.
No, you know she's a ghost from the very beginning of the movie.
post malone
Okay, okay, good.
Yeah, this is terrifying.
joe rogan
Dude, it's fucking horrifying.
It's a terrifying movie.
post malone
Well, you get the best of both worlds, right?
You get a creepy mom style, and then you get creepy kids, which are like the double terrifying.
What's the movie I'm thinking of?
joe rogan
I can't say anymore without spoiler alert in it.
post malone
I think it may be called...
It might be called...
So it's two kids.
It might be Swedish or Norwegian or something.
joe rogan
Is it the vampire movie?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
There's a vampire movie, a foreign vampire movie.
Is it Let the Right One In, I think it is?
Or is that the American version of it?
post malone
Let the Right One In is a scary movie.
joe rogan
That's a scary movie, right?
That's a vampire movie about vampire kids, right?
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
See, the thing about a ghost...
Is if you saw one, and if they're just real every now and then, you saw one, and it was right in front of you, you're in the woods, you're going to walk your dog, and you see some old man with no legs floating in front of you?
post malone
That's the one.
jamie vernon
Goodnight, Mommy.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Ah, Goodnight, Mommy.
What's this one about?
jamie vernon
I don't know.
joe rogan
Same kind of deal?
post malone
Oh, Jesus Christ.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ.
post malone
Did you see something good?
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
I missed it.
joe rogan
Some scary lady in the corner.
post malone
Check that motherfucker out.
joe rogan
That's a good one.
I'm scared.
post malone
But you see him in the woods.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
Please?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, if you saw some apparition in the woods and then you never saw it again for the rest of your life, it doesn't mean it wasn't real.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
It just means it's really rare that that happens.
Like, that's the thing about a unique event.
Like, imagine if you're an ant your whole fucking life, all you've ever known is this ant hill.
Everybody's chilling, working every day, chopping up leaves, going out and getting popcorn or whatever shit it finds.
And then one day, some person comes along, like Post Malone, just stomps the fuck out of that anthill.
unidentified
Sure.
joe rogan
Till that moment, all that thing has ever known was that anthill.
Never even knew that it was possible for something that could, because it's been alive for a couple weeks.
And during that couple weeks, no one's ever stomped on the anthill.
But then it happens.
And then you realize that there's no pattern to these things.
Anything can happen.
If you're a person, aliens can land.
They can land on the White House lawn tomorrow and take over the world.
And there's nothing we can do about it.
That could be our new normal.
Okay, fuck masks.
The new normal is there's alien spaceships that hover over every city and they tell you what to do.
And you have to work for them now.
Forever.
post malone
To the argument...
We're smarter than ants.
joe rogan
Yes, we are.
But we're, in comparison, probably dumber than aliens are.
Like, we're dumber in comparison to aliens than ants are to people.
post malone
Well, that's right.
Like, all these celestial sightings.
Yeah, I mean, this is all spitballing here.
joe rogan
But it could be possible, right?
post malone
Celestial sightings documented throughout history.
joe rogan
Throughout history.
post malone
You...
Hey, I just made a fire.
This is dope.
Right?
Fire is cool.
But what the fuck is that?
That has to be God.
Like, man has always looked up for answers.
joe rogan
It's true.
post malone
And so that's why it's a scary thing.
Because do they want to hurt us?
Or do they...
Are they...
Did we come from them?
joe rogan
I don't think it's impossible.
I don't think it's impossible that we're a product of genetic manipulation.
I don't know if we are.
I know we're definitely primates.
post malone
We're just playthings, maybe.
joe rogan
We just look so different than every other monkey.
All the other monkeys are covered in hair.
This is this weird, semi-hairless monkey.
You know, who knows how to use electronics?
Who knows how to send video through the sky?
post malone
You know the Anunnaki?
joe rogan
Yes.
unidentified
Yes!
post malone
Yeah, if Lou was here, I got a great friend, Lou.
Shout out to Lou.
He would talk your ear off about this whole deal.
joe rogan
About this to an actual archaeologist yesterday.
post malone
Or the Nephilim.
joe rogan
Bradley Garrett.
Yeah, the Nephilim or the Anunnaki from Planet Nibiru.
All that Zacharias Hitchin stuff.
You ever read those books?
post malone
No, sir.
joe rogan
The books are weird, man.
You know what's weird?
Like there's stuff that he was saying in like, I believe it was like the 1970s where he was deciphering these texts.
And one of the things that he said is, this is the craziest one of all.
Humans were genetically engineered from lower primates and they were used to harvest gold.
And that the Anunnaki needed gold because gold is very plentiful here and very hard to find, very rare on their planet.
And they engineered humans to mine.
That's why people love gold so much.
If you think about the usefulness of gold.
Gold isn't even remotely...
Unless you're making electronics, like, gold's not the best metal.
Like, why is it so valuable?
Because it's pretty?
Well, it's not even the prettiest shit.
Like, rubies are prettier than gold.
Emeralds are prettier than gold.
Why is gold so goddamn expensive?
post malone
But where does diamonds fit in?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
Probably just someone tricked a chick into thinking it was a good move.
post malone
I was reading about, like...
Yeah, it's like one movie, she had a diamond and then it popped off.
joe rogan
Let me finish what I'm saying because this is where it gets weird.
They said that they needed it to hang in their atmosphere to protect them from the sun because they were losing their atmosphere.
Well, we're losing our atmosphere.
And one of the things that scientists have suggested is hanging reflective particles.
Above above the earth like putting them in orbit all like a reflective dust in orbit so that it would mute out some of the effects of the Sun so what they suggested what he was saying in 1978 is what they suggested in like 2018 Right.
So when they're talking about how to fix some of the global warming issues, they were literally saying some of the stuff that was in this book that he was reading, you know, he's deciphering these ancient Sumerian texts from 6,000 years ago.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
I don't know if his interpretations are right, though.
Where did he get it from?
joe rogan
He is just a guy who's a linguist, who studies these ancient languages and reinterprets them, but it's very highly in dispute.
That's the problem.
Like, you or I, we're not gonna figure it out.
We're not gonna know who's right.
It's too complicated.
But there's a website called SitchinIsWrong.com, and if you go there, it refutes all of his...
I don't know who's right or who's wrong, but it's interesting to see the argument.
But again, whatever the fuck was going on back then...
6,000 years ago, whatever was going on.
They were writing about some wacky shit.
post malone
Right, right, right.
And is that the shrooms or is that...
joe rogan
Is it contact?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's not impossible.
We could have easily been contacted by some other life form that's similar to us, but that's a million years advanced.
We could have been contacted all throughout history.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Up until 1860, whatever the fuck it was, all you would have is a drawing and a story.
Imagine that.
post malone
Famous people.
Who the fuck knows?
But now, if you look at the last 200 years, it has accelerated like a motherfucker.
And there's so much, like, 200 years ago, people would look at The Bronco or anything like that and be like, what the fuck?
joe rogan
Yeah, what is that?
post malone
It happened so quick.
joe rogan
It's happening so quick right now.
I mean, that SpaceX thing, they've already figured out how to get something to fly into the sky and then bring it back and land it.
post malone
It's insane.
joe rogan
Yeah.
We are in a weird fucking time.
And if the aliens come right now, it's probably the best time to come.
We're going to be the most relaxed about it.
No one's been able to work for six months.
post malone
Yeah, I feel like everybody's...
joe rogan
People are scared to shake hands.
unidentified
What are you going to do?
joe rogan
Everyone's terrified.
post malone
Are you going to say hi?
joe rogan
To the aliens?
post malone
Are you going to grab your bow?
joe rogan
Oh, I'm going to say hi for sure.
I'm not stupid.
They can come here if I'm not kicking anybody's ass.
post malone
Instant disintegration.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm not even interested in kicking someone's ass from another dimension.
I just want to say hi.
Tell me what's up.
post malone
Tell me what's actually good.
joe rogan
I want to have an alien on the podcast.
Can you imagine?
post malone
I could call Tyler up.
joe rogan
Three foot tall, 40 pound dude with a giant bulbous head and like antenna-like fingers and he's explaining how they traverse space and time instantaneously.
Can you imagine?
They're making sounds and you interpret those sounds no matter what language you're in all over the world.
You instantaneously interpret what they're saying.
post malone
Well, it'd be through your brain.
You wouldn't be able to hear them.
joe rogan
They would do it through a podcast.
They'd be able to engineer the sounds they make.
What is this sound and why do I understand what he's saying?
They would hit you with some sound that's so complex you would understand exactly what they're saying even though you don't know the language.
And everybody would be like, what in the fuck is going on?
Oh my god, there's an alien on the JRE. And that's what it would be.
Me talking to some alien.
post malone
They better give you some more goddamn money.
joe rogan
Mm-mm.
I think that's the least of our problems when the aliens come.
That shit is gonna be wiped off.
post malone
Well, that's when we need gold.
joe rogan
Yeah, we're gonna be gold miners again, folks.
We're gonna look for some sturdy person with a wide back.
That's what's gonna be valuable.
Thank you.
But I mean, good enough to mine gold?
I don't know.
Imagine if that's life in the future.
They come down and go, you got two choices.
One, we eat you.
Two, you mine gold for us.
post malone
Are they eating humans?
joe rogan
Why not?
Why wouldn't they eat us?
They'd be like, listen, you guys are just protein.
You're assholes.
post malone
They probably eat clouds.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
Or like energy.
They probably just eat energy.
joe rogan
Yeah, maybe they just exist in some sort of like a redundant system.
post malone
Dude, they're probably not even fucking material.
joe rogan
Probably.
post malone
They're probably just fucking ethereal.
joe rogan
Well, maybe they figured out a way to make life.
So maybe they figured out a way how to make life where you can transfer your consciousness in some eternal mechanical thing.
This is what...
There's this...
Oh my god, I can't remember his name.
Ray Kurzweil.
Sorry.
He's a guy that's obsessed.
He's a scientist.
He's an inventor.
He's got like a hundred patents.
Genius guy.
Maybe not a hundred, but a lot.
And he is obsessed with downloading his consciousness into a computer.
He's obsessed with the idea of technology reaching a point where you could replicate...
A human being in a way where you will never die your consciousness will actually transmit to some sort of a Computer or an artificial body or another body that's they've genetically engineered and he believes this is like he's saying you have to look at the Exponential rate of technology right now.
That doesn't make any sense, right?
But if you go ten years from now Ten years is gonna, the ten years time is gonna be like a hundred years of progress.
post malone
Well, you said exponentially, snowballing.
joe rogan
Ten years after that, a thousand years of progress.
Like twenty years from now, I don't know if those are the right numbers, but twenty years from now, or somewhere in that range, we could be looking at artificial life.
We could be, thirty years from now, we could be looking at fake people.
post malone
They're already cloning goats.
joe rogan
Yeah, they've cloned sheep.
Yeah, Dolly the sheep.
Yeah.
I bet they're cloning people.
100%.
post malone
Must be.
joe rogan
100%.
100%.
You don't think Russia is cloning people right now?
You don't think China's cloning people right now?
Why wouldn't they?
post malone
I think we're cloning people.
joe rogan
Well, if you think of the people that treat human beings with the least amount of respect, if you think of the way they treat their citizens, those people are likely to clone people.
They're not going to give a fuck.
We don't give a fuck.
They're going to be quick to the jump.
post malone
We don't give a fuck.
I don't think anybody...
It's a matter of...
It does honestly feel like, oh, everybody's just a gold miner.
joe rogan
In a way, because we're mining technology.
post malone
Everybody, I mean, even you sitting on your phone, you're contributing.
joe rogan
100%, yeah.
post malone
And then they're learning.
joe rogan
And you want a new phone.
You want a new phone next year so you work hard so you can buy that new phone.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
And you want a Tesla because it's got that big old electronic screen.
post malone
It's a cog in the whole machine.
Can I have one of your beard hairs?
I'm working on something at home.
joe rogan
I could give you some.
I'll tweeze them later.
I can't pluck them.
They're not big enough to pluck.
post malone
I'm working on my cloning device.
It doesn't work necessarily.
joe rogan
It might work?
Dude, if it works, let me know.
If there's a little me running around, I tell them a lot of shit I got wrong.
unidentified
Kicking everybody.
joe rogan
I'd be like, dude, you gotta calm down.
Calm down, son.
But like, I think genetic engineering, they've already definitely done that.
They've figured out how to, I think it was China that did some sort of CRISPR experiment on people's DNA that figured out how to make them immune from AIDS, but also simultaneously made them smarter.
So it made him immune to HIV. I'm pretty sure that's what it was.
What's a CRISPR? Oh, CRISPR is some gene editing tool.
I don't know what the...
It's an acronym, right?
I don't know what it stands for.
But it's a new gene editing tool that they've discovered over the last few years.
They understand genes better, I believe because of bacteria.
I'm sure I'm fucking this up.
But they figured out how to make a tool that allows you to edit genes.
Here it is.
Clustered, regularly interspaced, short, palindromic repeats.
That's CRISPR. That's what it stands for.
It's a family of DNA sequences found in the genomes of prokaryote organisms, bacteria, and archaea.
These sequences are derived from DNA fragments of bacteriophages that had previously infected the prokaryote.
Oh boy.
post malone
Ah, so I know exactly what you're talking about.
Let me try.
joe rogan
So this gene editing tool, whatever the fuck that means.
unidentified
What the fuck?
post malone
What is this tool?
joe rogan
They can edit genes, and they're in the process.
post malone
With a computer?
joe rogan
It'll show you right out how they do it there.
It's like...
I don't understand the process, but I know that they have a process.
I don't know what it's saying.
post malone
Is this in a computer?
joe rogan
Read that.
What is that saying?
The Cas9 protein forms a complex with the guide RNA in a cell.
The complex attaches to a matching genomic DNA sequence adjacent to a spacer yellow segment.
What am I saying?
post malone
No, that's the yellow segment.
You see it.
joe rogan
But you know what I'm saying?
I do.
But you know what I'm saying?
I'm reading this and I don't know what the fuck I'm saying while I'm saying it.
It's too complicated for a moron like me.
post malone
It's too complicated.
I want to know what the tool is.
Is it like a wrench or is it like a fucking computer?
I don't know what the fuck it is.
joe rogan
It's probably a computer.
post malone
Oh, it's a fork.
Dude, that's the dude right there.
joe rogan
That's just the guy.
It's just a robot hand that comes in and fucks it.
post malone
It's a dude with tweezers and a fucking hot dog.
joe rogan
It leaves a lot of room for error.
I wonder what other countries are doing, what kind of crazy shit they're trying.
If they're trying to create new humans, super humans.
They're going to do it.
Someone's going to do it.
It's going to be us or it's going to be them.
Someone is going to create superhumans.
I'm not saying it's a good idea.
I'm just looking at the laws of improvement.
I don't think that's a real thing.
But if it was, the law of improvement would state that if something's possible...
post malone
It's a new theory.
joe rogan
If something's possible, someone's going to make it happen.
When we detonated two nuclear bombs, we could have just...
One was...
Everybody got the point, right?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Why'd they do it twice?
post malone
It's a display, I suppose.
joe rogan
Right.
Well, someone could do that with super people.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, that could happen, and it could happen quick.
post malone
He should be a UFC fighter.
joe rogan
Well, they might be the new aliens.
When you get to...
post malone
UFC fighters or super humans?
unidentified
Super people.
joe rogan
Super people might be a new species.
If someone could really get a hold of a CRISPR and create like a Thor, create like a legitimate superhuman person, and you could just develop a whole race of those, it would just be like instant game over.
People aren't people anymore.
post malone
How long does that take?
joe rogan
I don't know how long it would take.
post malone
Do they have to grow from baby to human?
unidentified
I'm high, man.
joe rogan
I don't think so.
That's the thing.
post malone
Or they just come out like orcs in Lord of the Rings.
joe rogan
What if they fuck up?
post malone
They come out like orcs in Lord of the Rings where they just cut the pus and then the fucking...
joe rogan
They come piling out of them.
post malone
And he's just like, I'm gonna kill fucking...
joe rogan
Is that how the orcs were born?
post malone
Yeah, you never seen Saruman in the pit of Helm's Deep?
joe rogan
Those are great fucking movies, man.
post malone
Incredible.
joe rogan
Those orcs were the scariest shit ever.
post malone
Also, if you watch three, it's 12 hours.
You could take a half a day watching Lord of the Rings.
It's the best.
joe rogan
Yeah, those Lord of the Rings movies, man, come on.
Those orcs and those goblins, they were the scariest fucking thing ever.
post malone
The goblins were scary.
joe rogan
Ugh.
post malone
You ever heard of Necrogoblicon?
joe rogan
No.
post malone
It's like a metal band, but the lead singer is a goblin.
It's incredible.
Can you pull up a picture of the lead singer of Necrogoblicon?
unidentified
Dude, that's them!
post malone
Dude, it's fucking incredible.
That's amazing.
He reminds me of the goblin that tortures Frodo.
joe rogan
Look at his face.
Holy shit.
Oh my god, that's amazing.
Hang on a second.
Imagine.
post malone
I like his friends.
joe rogan
Hold on a second.
Back up a little bit.
Imagine.
If that's really a goblin.
Can you imagine if a goblin became a rock star and everybody thought it was cute, but it really was a fucking goblin.
post malone
You need to watch the video.
unidentified
Bro, the makeup's amazing!
He never takes it off!
post malone
It's a real fucking goblin.
joe rogan
A fucking real goblin.
post malone
Well, that's the whole deal.
Like, his biggest song is, like, he has a normal job and he has a crush on this girl.
unidentified
Oh my god.
post malone
But she's in love with this, like, douchebag.
From The Office.
joe rogan
Oh my god, is it blowing powder on people?
What is happening here?
post malone
I've never seen this video.
joe rogan
Dude, just imagine if that was real.
Imagine if an alien comes down.
post malone
Are aliens goblins?
joe rogan
They could be.
Why do we think they're gonna look cute?
Why couldn't they be ugly looking aliens, octopus looking monsters?
They could be anything, right?
post malone
Yeah, that's what- Halo.
You ever play Halo?
joe rogan
I have.
post malone
You think about, you know Arbiter?
joe rogan
What is Arbiter?
One of the characters?
post malone
Nah, he's like the alien guys.
So they have fingers like this and that's why all their guns are like this, right?
joe rogan
Okay.
post malone
But who's to say that aliens don't control their guns with their booty hole or something weird?
Why does it have to be with their hands?
Aliens can control their guns with whatever appendage they have.
joe rogan
Good point.
post malone
Aliens are weird.
unidentified
Well, I think the real thing would come from...
They're weird to me.
joe rogan
How are they manipulating matter to make things, right?
post malone
Or do they even need to?
joe rogan
Do they need to, right?
Can they do things with their mind that we can't imagine?
unidentified
Right?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
If it's possible to make noise and you can hear noise, what is that?
It's just some invisible shit flying through the air.
I'm saying it to you, you understand what I'm saying?
Just flies through the air and hits you.
Why do we think that that's the only thing that's possible?
There could be some really weird abilities that things have to manipulate matter that maybe evolve over hundreds of thousands of years.
post malone
A booty hole gun.
joe rogan
A booty hole gun.
Yeah.
post malone
Who knows?
joe rogan
Who knows?
post malone
I'm gonna hit you with my fucking booty hole gun and destroy a fucking block.
joe rogan
Maybe it's like super normal for aliens to like pee on each other the way dogs do.
You know, maybe aliens just walk up and just piss on each other all the time.
Who knows?
post malone
Who fucking knows?
joe rogan
Who knows?
post malone
But you know, all we can do is just sit and drink beer until...
until...
That's it.
joe rogan
I'm amazed that they, if they really did have UFOs this whole time, that they kept it such a good secret.
Pretty incredible.
Like, I don't want to encourage that kind of behavior, but I gotta say I'm impressed.
Right?
If the government really kept their fucking mouth shut for that long, like, the new government is not gonna do that.
These are like those old school Vietnam vets with fucking craggy skin and tough guy voices.
Those are the ones that are still left.
Millennials that take those positions, we're going to have a real hard time keeping secrets.
It's not going to be the same.
post malone
It's not.
I mean...
joe rogan
They're not going to keep any secrets.
post malone
How do you feel about the Battle of Los Angeles?
joe rogan
The Battle of Los Angeles?
post malone
What do you mean?
Wherever...
There was pictures in the paper...
And shit.
And it's just spotlights.
And we were shooting at this thing.
joe rogan
Oh, right.
Was that like...
Over LA. What year was that?
post malone
Old.
joe rogan
Yeah, real old.
Like the 50s or something?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Who the fuck knows what that was, man?
post malone
What the fuck is that?
And then we shot at it and it wouldn't go down.
unidentified
And...
post malone
Because they...
See that...
joe rogan
Who knows?
post malone
You got...
It's either two things.
It's either they know...
And they're hiding it, or it's something earthly, terrestrial.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
And people just interpret it as...
Yeah, look at that.
joe rogan
There it is.
Searchlights and anti-antcraft guns.
post malone
They were shooting at this fucker.
joe rogan
Combed sky during alarm.
What year is that, Jamie?
1942. 1942. So what year did Oppenheimer first detonate the bomb?
I know the Manhattan Project was already in operation by 1942, but had they detonated the first bomb yet?
jamie vernon
Tests or the actual?
joe rogan
The actual first test.
I bet it was around that time, a couple years later maybe.
I bet in that time period when human beings start in a race to try to split the atom, that's what I bet the alien is like, hey, hey, hey, we got a live one.
post malone
We got a live one over here.
Yeah, these motherfuckers figured it out.
joe rogan
Yeah, the 1940s, they were all doing that shit, right?
jamie vernon
Three years later.
joe rogan
Three years later, yeah.
So they were probably working on it back then.
And the aliens were probably well aware that there was a race going on.
And they probably visited.
That's what I would do.
If I had like a planet, like imagine if you're a researcher and you have a whole planet and on this planet They've lived for millions and millions of years, but the most advanced thing is like a monkey person.
You know, like an Australopithecus or something.
And they go, listen, we know where this is going.
It's going to take a long time.
They might not even make it.
They might get wiped out by a volcano.
Let's just fucking sprinkle a little bit of us and them.
Get that CRISPR working.
Manipulate the DNA of these things.
post malone
Yeah, with the wrench or the little tongs with the hot dog.
joe rogan
Yeah, the hot dog tongs.
Splice it in and make some new people.
post malone
What happened to the dinosaurs, Joe?
joe rogan
Asteroid.
Yeah, they hit the Yucatan.
They know when, they know where.
There's something called, I think it's called Iridium.
It's really rare on Earth and really common in space.
And there's a thick layer of it around 65 million years ago, and it's just a giant crater in the Yucatan.
That's what killed all the dinosaurs.
For certain.
Most likely.
Most likely.
There's some other theories about how long they lasted, which ones died off, which ones.
Like, alligators.
post malone
What about alligators?
joe rogan
Those motherfuckers are still here.
Alligators are here right now, right?
Bro, one ate a kid at Disneyland a couple years back.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
It was the year before I was there.
post malone
Eat him whole?
joe rogan
Disney World, not Disneyland.
Disney World's the Florida one.
Ate a kid, yeah.
post malone
Whole.
joe rogan
A two-year-old kid.
Snatched him up.
post malone
Jesus Christ.
joe rogan
Horrible, horrible.
Playing near the water in this fucking dinosaur.
And imagine you take your kid to Disney World.
Well, it's going to be safe for sure.
We're at Disney World.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
They've done a great job making sure there's not monsters living in the pond.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Nope.
No, there's monsters in that pond.
Fucking alligator came out and ate their kid.
Look at this motherfucker!
post malone
That's the motherfucker?
That's the guy?
joe rogan
No, this is a different one.
This is a different one.
post malone
I was like, they have video of this?
joe rogan
Bro, these people are standing just a few feet away from a goddamn dinosaur with a brain the size of a quarter.
That thing doesn't give a fuck about you or your babies or your kids.
You're just lucky.
You're lucky that dinosaur doesn't just bum rush you.
post malone
The tail's the size of a human.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They're so big.
And that's not even a huge one.
There's a video one in Florida walking across a golf court.
It's 15 feet long.
And you see it, and these guys are in awe.
They're like, what the fuck?
They're out there playing golf, and a legitimate dinosaur walks by.
15 foot long alligator.
It's so big!
It's so big, dude.
unidentified
Look at its leg.
post malone
Look at it.
joe rogan
Look at that thing.
post malone
Look at that thing.
Holy Christ.
joe rogan
Holy Christ.
Look how big that is.
post malone
On the golf course.
joe rogan
Bro, look how big that is.
Look at the size of that thing.
Holy shit, man.
unidentified
Your ball struck my foot.
joe rogan
Holy fuck, that thing's so big.
post malone
What do they do?
unidentified
I'll see you in the parking lot.
post malone
What's the Billy Madison quote?
Or Happy Gilmore.
That's what it is.
joe rogan
Oh, the alligator ate his hand?
Carl Weathers.
post malone
That's fucking crazy.
joe rogan
How crazy is that?
You're out there living in Florida, you live with monsters.
post malone
That's a dinosaur.
joe rogan
That's a real legit dinosaur.
post malone
You think about it too, it's so interesting to think about.
Like, even in Florida, but in Australia, the spiders, the house spiders, like I see a spider, he's like this big.
I'm like, okay, fine.
In Australia, the average spider is like this fucking big.
What are you going to do?
joe rogan
Terrifying creatures over there.
There's brown snakes and shit.
My Australian friend Adam Greentree is always trying to get me to go out there and go camping with him.
I'm like, get the fuck out of here.
He goes hunting in Australia.
Look at that thing!
Look at that thing!
No!
post malone
What the fuck?
joe rogan
No, no, no!
post malone
So much protein.
joe rogan
Yeah, if you're hungry.
Is that a Huntsman?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ, look at that thing.
That's so big.
Australia's just buck wild, man.
post malone
It's so bizarre to think, like, and you've seen the...
There's big-ass grasshoppers that are, like, this big!
joe rogan
Locust, man.
post malone
Terrifying.
joe rogan
You know, I didn't find out until a few years ago.
post malone
Yeah, look at that fucker.
joe rogan
What is that?
post malone
Dude, he's eating a full carrot like an infant, like a toddler.
He's eating a carrot like a fucking toddler.
That's insane.
joe rogan
It's like he's screaming through a traffic cone.
post malone
Also, if I saw a centipede, I would die.
joe rogan
Oh my god, look at the size of that.
Look at that butterfly thing.
unidentified
Moth?
joe rogan
Moths are like the ugly butterflies.
post malone
True.
joe rogan
It's really the same thing.
post malone
Why is that?
joe rogan
One of them's pretty, and one of them we fucking swat every chance we get.
Because we value beauty.
Look at that.
Look at that creepy thing.
post malone
If I saw that, I would run away.
joe rogan
Bro, you ever seen a centipede eat a mouse?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
Do you want to?
post malone
Probably.
joe rogan
See, find a centipede eats a mouse.
I didn't know they did this, man.
That's insane.
I never would have thought that thing was a monster.
I thought it was just a bug.
Probably eats little bugs.
Uh-uh.
No, eats a mouse.
post malone
You just saw a grasshopper eat a carrot like a fucking four-year-old.
It's crazy.
joe rogan
That's a four-pound grasshopper.
Look at this.
Look at this centipede attacking this mouse.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
Bro, they're predatory.
Like alien.
Like a movie.
That's like the movie Alien.
post malone
Holy shit.
joe rogan
Look at it.
It's biting into the back of the spine of the mouse and killing it.
Dude, it's more than sad.
That's an alien.
post malone
This is sad.
joe rogan
Look at it.
It's burrowing itself into the body of the mouse.
post malone
Oh my god, take that off of the camera.
joe rogan
Bro, imagine.
post malone
Holy shit.
joe rogan
That's why you need to learn jujitsu.
Mice need to learn jujitsu.
You need to figure out how to...
post malone
Well, that's your next venture.
joe rogan
Move that thing off you.
post malone
A mice jujitsu class.
joe rogan
Don't let them get your back.
post malone
But that's not good.
My cat's killed two mice in my house.
joe rogan
Your cats are murderers.
Every cat's a murderer.
There's no doubt about that.
post malone
But if the mice knew jujitsu, maybe my cat would have died.
joe rogan
Cat is so big.
post malone
Cat is big.
joe rogan
They don't have a chance, but the centipede's not that much bigger than the mouse.
Or it's smaller than the mouse, really.
post malone
Cat is big, mice is small.
joe rogan
What we gotta worry about is bugs.
Because bugs are small.
But that's what nature did to them.
They made them, like, invulnerable, but small.
So we could squash them.
But if they were big, we'd be so fucked.
Those murder hornets, remember they were trying to scare us with those?
That was right during the COVID. You saw Tiger King and then Murder Haunted.
post malone
But then the honeybee figured out how to vibrate all around it and kill it with heat.
joe rogan
Isn't that crazy?
post malone
That's crazy!
joe rogan
How did they figure that out?
And how do they know how to work together to overheat the...
post malone
Well, Utah is the hive state.
joe rogan
Murder wasp.
post malone
Utah's the hive state, so bees are smart as shit.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They're weirdly smart.
post malone
Weirdly smart.
There's something connected to bees and aliens.
joe rogan
Well, how come they all know how to make that fucking hive?
There's no classes.
post malone
They just come out knowing, like, let's fucking go.
joe rogan
Come on, man.
Imagine all over the world, this one being knows exactly the kind of shape to make.
And makes it with, like, what's it using?
What creates that wax?
Magnetism.
It's using what they get from plants, right?
Is it pollen that makes the stuff that they use for wax?
Is that what they get, or is it an excretion from their own excretion?
So they eat, and then they make this excretion, and then they literally build a house with their own spit.
post malone
And then we eat it.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's delicious.
Honeycomb?
It's very good.
Never had it?
post malone
Never had it.
I'm not a big honey guy.
joe rogan
No?
Are you into sweet and low?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
You're an aspartame or a real sugar guy?
post malone
I like the coke with real sugar.
joe rogan
Real sugar coke's the best.
post malone
That's true.
joe rogan
And there's an added benefit of knowing it's killing your body.
A diet coke, you can pretend you're healthy.
I'm having a diet coke.
This is basically like water.
post malone
Pepsi Max.
joe rogan
That is not water, bitch.
There's nothing about that that's water.
post malone
This is water for me.
You know.
What do you say?
Why don't you crack that one open?
Let's really get into it.
Let's get down to the real nitty-gritty.
joe rogan
We got pretty into it, man.
We're with aliens making people.
post malone
We're talking about eating bee poop.
joe rogan
Yes.
You know, that's the crazy thing is we need bees to make other plants.
Like, when you find out about pollination, you're like, what?
Like, that's how it's done?
It's done through the bee?
The bee gets it on their body and then they go to another plant and it pollinates it?
That's bananas.
What a stupid system.
post malone
That's what we need?
There is a matriarchy.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, for sure.
post malone
There's one boss.
joe rogan
Yep.
Queen, bitch.
post malone
That's crazy.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
It's just like humans, essentially.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Well, in a way...
Well, it's not, though.
This is the thing about bees.
They're small, so we love them.
But if they were big, they would be our biggest enemy ever.
That would be the most terrifying thing on the planet is a horse-sized bee.
And then imagine, like, enormous...
Huge colonies of horse-sized bees that come out of the mountains like demons.
Come and snatch people up.
Do what those Japanese hornets do, where they cut those honeybees' heads off.
Imagine if there was something out there doing that to us.
post malone
There's bees cutting other bees' heads off?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
That's what these murder hornets do.
They climb on top of the back of the honeybee and they bite their head off.
post malone
Yeah, but then honeybee strength in numbers.
joe rogan
That's the strength in numbers.
post malone
I got my friends.
joe rogan
But guess what?
They don't always win.
It doesn't always work out.
Sometimes there's a lot of murder hornets.
post malone
And then sometimes motherfuckers get their heads cut off.
joe rogan
Dude, there's a terrifying one, that if it was a horror movie, like if you were a honeybee, it would be the worst, like, Conan the Barbarian movie ever.
The most brutal...
They swarm in, and these murder hornets grab ahold of these honeybees and just chop their heads off.
And they're trying to get in, I think, to get to the...
I think they want...
Do they want the eggs?
post malone
This looks like a back music video.
joe rogan
Bro, it's...
What's that?
jamie vernon
I think they're just assholes.
unidentified
I don't know.
joe rogan
They're just assholes?
But look how they do it.
They cut their fucking heads off, man.
It's horrific.
They're so much bigger.
And they just run up on these honeybees and cut their heads off.
post malone
How do they cut them off?
joe rogan
With those clippers.
post malone
Incisors?
joe rogan
Yeah, see those front clippers?
post malone
Those lateral incisors?
joe rogan
They just grab them and chop them up, man.
It's horrific.
They just tear them apart with their face.
So there's these weird...
Look, those are all dead honeybees.
And there's these weird wars that go on with these murder hornets and honeybees.
jamie vernon
How do you film this?
Do you know it's gonna happen?
They set it up, bro.
joe rogan
They totally set those fucking bees up.
post malone
Dude, it looks like a fucking Tony Hawk skate video.
This looks like a very 90s video.
joe rogan
Jamie, that's a really good question.
Do you think that this is like a murder for hire scene?
post malone
It's a snuff film for bees.
unidentified
It's a snuff film.
jamie vernon
Let the bees or let the hornets go.
post malone
They need a fisheye.
They need a fisheye lens.
joe rogan
Look at what's going on here.
You got these hornets and you have murdered bodies.
This is a horror movie for bees.
Look around back there.
Those are all bee bodies.
post malone
Good transition there.
joe rogan
Cut these...
If that's what we're watching, maybe they did set this up.
Maybe they brought in murder hornets to an active honeybee colony.
unidentified
Look at that shit!
joe rogan
I know.
Bodies, man.
Headless bodies.
post malone
The comb!
joe rogan
Oh, the comb, yeah.
I know.
How'd they figure that out?
post malone
It's perfect.
joe rogan
It's always like that, too.
unidentified
It's not like one guy, they're like, bro, I'm gonna have a fucking double XL cone.
post malone
Yeah, let me do it.
unidentified
My cone's gonna have eight edges.
joe rogan
Yeah.
No one has cones like, you know, like some wheels on cars that are just so big.
There's no cone like that.
They're all the same.
They all know how to do it all over the world, too.
It's a weird animal.
We're just lucky that little thing is that size.
That fucker was big.
German Shepherd-sized bees.
post malone
Let's go back to the monolithic period.
There were probably bees fucking a foot long.
joe rogan
Let's find out.
What was the biggest bee in history?
You say a foot long, I say you're probably right.
post malone
I say a foot long.
joe rogan
I agree with you.
post malone
I bet you in dinosaur times those fuckers were huge.
joe rogan
That makes sense.
Maybe even bigger.
I'm gonna go foot and a half.
Fuck it.
I'll go foot and a half.
What do you think, Jamie?
jamie vernon
The first result was not correct.
It gave me something that was actually alive recently they thought was extinct, so that's not...
joe rogan
Oh.
Let's take a guess now while we're waiting.
post malone
I'd say 11 inches.
joe rogan
I'd say a foot and a half.
What do you say?
jamie vernon
That sounds so big.
joe rogan
I know.
post malone
They were big fuckers.
joe rogan
But everything was big back then, man.
jamie vernon
It's a shoe flying around.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A fucking shack shoe.
post malone
That's my boot.
That's my fucking boot.
joe rogan
Yeah, 17 inches is pretty big.
18 inches?
jamie vernon
Yeah, five, six inches.
That's pretty big too.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Inch and a half is totally possible though.
There was giant fucking bugs back then.
18 inches ain't shit.
I would imagine there was...
post malone
A big Shaq's maker.
jamie vernon
He keeps giving me this thing called Wallace's Giant Bee, which was two and a half inches.
Wingspan two and a half inches.
joe rogan
That ain't shit.
jamie vernon
I know.
joe rogan
What do you think?
Let's Google this.
unidentified
I bet that dog was like fucking 30 feet long.
jamie vernon
That's how big it is, though.
It's still pretty big.
I mean, we have that.
joe rogan
Oh, that thing, that's right there.
That's a tarantula hawk that's in front of the skull.
See that little glass bottle?
Oh, can I? Yeah, that's from Maynard.
You know Maynard from Tool?
Maynard Keenan?
post malone
He has these.
joe rogan
That's him.
His, from his farm.
post malone
This is him.
joe rogan
That's his.
It's him.
He's haunting this room through that bug.
That's from his farm.
He has vineyards, and he sees these fuckers up there.
post malone
Yeah, if we think about history as exponential, then these fuckers have to be 11 inches exactly.
joe rogan
Science, bitch!
Science!
Okay, let's ask this.
What do you think the biggest bug ever is?
What's the biggest bug ever?
post malone
In history.
Make sure it's like not...
joe rogan
Biggest bug in history.
post malone
Like millions of years.
I say two feet.
joe rogan
Okay.
Alright.
I want to say bigger.
post malone
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
I want to think there's like some fucking seropods that are technically bugs.
Is that what they're called?
Seropods?
Theropods?
Some of those crazy...
Cephalopods.
Cephalopods?
unidentified
Is that what it is?
joe rogan
Maybe.
And then crazy, ancient...
post malone
Oh yeah, those fuckers that are like...
Like the Pokemon.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What's it?
post malone
Kabutops.
joe rogan
Yeah, there was some creepy old bugs back in the day.
post malone
For sure.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I want to say it might be three feet.
jamie vernon
It's different, so I guess it's like a lobster and crabs are technically insects.
joe rogan
That's what the divers call them, they call them bugs.
jamie vernon
There are bigger ones of those than this largest dragonfly that's showing me.
It's like 1.8 meters.
unidentified
I feel like there's got to be a crab or a lobster that's bigger than that.
post malone
What's a conversion?
joe rogan
Three feet and then 0.8.
jamie vernon
It's just compared to a six-foot person.
It's not that big.
joe rogan
It's pretty big.
That's trying to climb in your asshole.
If that was trying to climb in your asshole, you'd be very unhappy.
That's big.
But yeah, but compared to a person.
So then they say that's the largest instinct?
jamie vernon
Insect ever.
joe rogan
Extinct insect?
jamie vernon
275 million years ago.
joe rogan
Oh, not that impressive.
So Unimpressed If you change the parameters on what an insect is Then we could Yeah No not even an insect Type in bug That's like a large hot dog That's what it's like I have largest bug ever in history And it's just drag and fly Largest bug ever in history We're lucky they're little man
I just found out a few years ago that When locusts come and they swarm into an area and ruin cornfields and shit like that, those are grasshoppers.
Some weird change happens to grasshoppers and they become locusts.
And it doesn't happen all the time.
post malone
They're possessed.
joe rogan
Maybe we're trying to write it down as some sort of technical...
Hormonal change inside the animal, but maybe that is.
Every now and then they get possessed by demons, and we're just trying to figure it out.
What makes harmless little green grasshoppers turn into brown crop-chomping clouds of swarming locusts?
Serotonin!
post malone
No shit!
joe rogan
Yep, according to a study published this week in Science, it took just two to three hours for timid grasshoppers in a lab to morph into a gregarious locusts.
Into gregarious locusts after they were injected with serotonin.
post malone
Wow.
joe rogan
Wow.
So it changes, this chemical changes what they are.
And they get bigger, I think, right?
Don't they get bigger?
They look bigger.
post malone
Well, you saw a grasshopper eat a carrot.
So they get up there.
joe rogan
That was a ridiculous grasshopper.
If you were on your bike and your face hit that grasshopper, you might get knocked off the bike, right?
post malone
This fucker's gotta be like a baseball.
joe rogan
Bro, that's a bird.
You hit a bird.
If you hit a bird with your face while you're driving your bike, you're probably gonna fall down.
post malone
You probably...
joe rogan
You might be able to take it if you get the wiggle of the bike, keep your wits about you.
If you get hit in the face with a bird...
post malone
I mean, planes go down.
joe rogan
Right, they do.
Birds get sucked into the fucking engine.
post malone
It's one bird.
joe rogan
I think it's more than one bird.
You need a few birds.
unidentified
I think you need a lot of beaks.
joe rogan
Most of the stuff I think grinds up quick.
post malone
Beaks or keto.
joe rogan
Yeah, the meat grinds up quick.
I think it's the beaks.
The beaks are the issue.
post malone
It blows my mind too.
Rolls Royce makes turbines.
joe rogan
Yeah, for jet engines.
post malone
That's the craziest shit.
joe rogan
They make dope stuff, man.
That's a weird company, right?
post malone
It's pretty balling.
joe rogan
You want to let everybody know you're not fucking around!
unidentified
I have a Rolls-Royce turban on my airplane.
post malone
I don't.
No, I was just playing a character.
joe rogan
Would you drive a Rolls-Royce?
post malone
Would I? Yeah.
joe rogan
Do you have one?
post malone
Beautiful.
joe rogan
What does it feel like when you're driving around that thing?
post malone
Like a boat.
It's like you're on a pontoon.
joe rogan
But you're also on a...
You're on like...
If you wanted to go to the king of the custom car, the king of the expensive luxury car, it's Rolls Royce.
That's the king.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
There's something about it.
Driving around, you got that grill?
Come on, son.
post malone
You got stars on the roof?
Ladies love it.
joe rogan
Stars on the roof, that's right.
Stars on the roof.
post malone
You gotta do that in the Bronco.
Uh, no.
joe rogan
Can't do that to a Bronco.
72 Bronco?
You're not allowed to do that.
That's gross.
You can't put that blue light inside the wheel well.
unidentified
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
Stop doing that.
Stop doing that.
Listen, man.
post malone
I got blue light in my wheel well.
joe rogan
You can have that if you like.
You're a different person.
A lot of people should not put blue light in the wheel well of their classic Bronco.
But yours is from the OJ days.
post malone
Yeah.
unidentified
Right?
joe rogan
That's okay.
You can do whatever you want to those.
post malone
I'm happy to see that here.
Because there's a certain charm about Broncos that I think a lot of people understand.
joe rogan
They make you smile.
I see a nice Bronco.
It makes me smile.
post malone
There's something about it.
Even the new ones.
I love it.
joe rogan
Look at that!
post malone
That's my Explorer.
That's a 92 Ford Explorer, ladies and gentlemen.
joe rogan
You got a 92 Ford Explorer with those kind of crazy gull wing doors.
post malone
Yeah, the back ones don't work.
It's hard to get in, but it looks cool.
joe rogan
I think the person who did those wing doors the best is Tesla.
unidentified
That Tesla X. Yeah, the gull wings are gangster.
joe rogan
It goes straight up in the air and then it comes straight down.
I mean, those things are sick.
post malone
I like Christmas mode.
joe rogan
What's Christmas mode?
I've seen the dance mode.
post malone
Yeah, that's the same.
Maybe you just do dance mode during December and then it's Christmas.
joe rogan
Tiffany Haddish, back in the days we were allowed to go to the Comedy Store, Tiffany Haddish was in the parking lot and she had her car on dance mode.
She had it playing music and the car was dancing and she was dancing in front of it and a bunch of us were dancing too.
It was hilarious.
It was like a car dancing.
post malone
What were your moves like?
joe rogan
My dance moves?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
They were very subtle.
Very, like, barely moving.
post malone
Yeah, look at that shit.
There it is.
Yeah, that's the Christmas!
joe rogan
That's crazy.
post malone
It also plays Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
joe rogan
This is what happens when you get super smart dudes and you give them too much free time.
And you're like, what else do you guys want to do?
And they're like, Elon, what we want to do is we want to make it dance.
Like, okay.
That's cool.
post malone
For Christmas.
joe rogan
Super cool.
post malone
We want to make it dance for Christmas, Halloween, every holiday.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That's a different animal, too.
The Tesla animal's a different animal.
When you're in one of those, it doesn't even feel like a car.
It feels like you're on some next-level thing.
You're in some, oh, this is what the future of cars is.
Oh, it's here right now.
post malone
Would you drive an entirely autonomous car?
joe rogan
I think you're gonna have to eventually.
post malone
I don't think so.
joe rogan
I think they're gonna get so good at making those things not crash that will completely eliminate auto accidents.
post malone
But then there's something that could...
Have you seen Upgrade?
joe rogan
Yes, I did.
Fun movie.
post malone
And then, great movie.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
Car gets hacked.
joe rogan
Yes, that's right.
post malone
I think always, and I can't speak for the next generation, but I think I will always, until I die, drive my motor vehicle.
I think that...
joe rogan
We're old school.
post malone
Yeah.
If we like it or not.
joe rogan
We're old school.
Because think, you're younger than me, but there will be people younger than you.
And 10, 20 years from now, they'll be dealing with a totally different reality.
Like, there's a lot of kids today that are just used to Uber, right?
That's what they do.
They just use Lyft, or they use Uber, and they barely drive anywhere.
Avoids drunk driving, doesn't cost that much, they just travel around with other people driving them.
They're used to someone else driving.
So if all of a sudden it comes along that you can get a car...
That can drive you around and with 100% certainty not crash into other cars?
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like, do they all communicate with each other?
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
They're going to say, hey people, we think about how many people die from car accidents every year.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Now think about what...
What we would do to bring those people back, all you have to do is not drive your car and that's how it happens.
It doesn't happen because anybody's evil.
It doesn't happen just like this is what people do.
They get more and more control over their environment and more and more control over safety and more and more control over what you can and can't do because you don't want to violate the safety protocols.
If everybody else is using the autonomous car and you're in your crazy Bronco and you smash into someone, that's your fault.
You fucked up.
If you didn't have that goddamn Bronco, Post Malone.
post malone
It's just like an airplane flight.
If I'm gonna die on an airplane, I would rather know that I'm gonna die rather than be completely out of control of the situation.
unidentified
I wonder what that would be like if you were asleep.
post malone
Probably be fine.
joe rogan
They never woke you up?
You took two of those ambience and just fucking crashed.
I'm just gonna lay here.
post malone
Got a couple of champagne.
joe rogan
Oxygen masks are falling down from the ceiling.
post malone
You're out of the game.
joe rogan
Cold, son.
post malone
Stop.
I hate flying.
Okay, I'm sorry.
joe rogan
But then you just wake up in another dimension.
post malone
If you knew how to fly a plane, everything would be different.
If you knew how to fly an airplane, the anxiety of flying would be gone.
joe rogan
I don't think that's true.
post malone
Because you understand that turbulence is...
Controllable and you can figure it out.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I think when shit goes wrong, it goes really wrong.
It's always going to be there.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
There's always going to be that fear.
post malone
But then as a passenger, it's kind of like being with a crazy driver.
You're like, oh, he's making me nervous.
joe rogan
Yeah, a little bit.
Could be.
post malone
But then, I mean, turbulence is uncontrollable.
But...
You feel more comfortable having known if this crazy driver goes crazy, you can grab the wheel and know how to drive.
joe rogan
Fuck.
Imagine that scenario.
Drinking champagne, hanging with your buddies on a plane, thinking everything's groovy.
All of a sudden, pilot has a stroke.
post malone
And then, fuck, oh shit.
Posty knows how to fly a plane.
He's gonna save the day.
joe rogan
What if they both get sick with some crazy disease?
You only stopped in Hawaii for one night, but something that the fucking pilots ate.
They're sick with a contagious disease and they're in the front.
post malone
So they're zombies.
joe rogan
Dude.
post malone
The pilots are zombies.
joe rogan
The pilots are zombies.
post malone
Yo, we just made a fucking dope ass movie right now.
joe rogan
Doesn't it, Chuck Palahniuk, doesn't he have a movie or a book?
Here's a short story where a person turns into a werewolf on a plane.
Somebody sent it to me a long time ago.
post malone
That sounds awesome.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think it's a little girl.
A little girl becomes a werewolf on a plane.
jamie vernon
It's called Survivor.
Wait.
Well, he's got two.
About a plane.
Sorry.
joe rogan
It's a kid becomes a werewolf on a plane.
post malone
Google that.
jamie vernon
That's what I did.
Type that in.
joe rogan
What is that?
He had a collection of horror stories, didn't he?
jamie vernon
Okay, that's called Haunted.
joe rogan
Haunted?
Yeah.
That's Chuck Palahniuk, right?
unidentified
Mm-hmm.
joe rogan
Am I saying his name right?
jamie vernon
I believe so.
joe rogan
Thank you.
See?
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
And one of them is about...
Am I remembering this wrong?
post malone
It seems super obscure.
jamie vernon
It popped up when I was looking through here.
Let me see if I can find the thing about the...
joe rogan
This is the same guy who wrote Fight Club.
Really interesting guy.
Had him on the podcast for a very interesting guy.
Super smart.
But what a fucking imagination.
unidentified
So...
post malone
That's a great movie, though.
joe rogan
Embracing of creepy thoughts.
Right?
post malone
Pilots get...
The zombie disease before taking off and then the pilots become zombies on the flight.
joe rogan
There it is.
A 13-year-old Chihuahua Indian girl transformed as if a werewolf aboard the plane and caused a crash.
She relates her theory to Missing Link who tells her the girl in question was his sister.
Okay, I think I just gave away some spoilers.
post malone
What's in the box?
joe rogan
What's in the box?
post malone
No, no, no!
No!
joe rogan
What do you do with Kevin Spacey?
What happens with that guy now?
post malone
I have no idea.
joe rogan
He's the guy.
Isn't he?
Wasn't he the guy in that movie?
post malone
That was Brad Pitt.
I was doing Brad Pitt.
jamie vernon
But he's the killer.
unidentified
Yeah.
post malone
I was doing Brad Pitt.
joe rogan
I know.
But I was saying, he's saying it to Kevin Spacey.
Then he kills Kevin Spacey, right?
post malone
I'm 25. I hear you, bro.
joe rogan
That's one of the best answers anybody's ever given to anything.
One of the most self-aware answers anybody's ever given to anything.
post malone
How about this first?
joe rogan
Great fucking movie, man.
Seven?
Jesus Christ, that was a vivid movie.
post malone
Large torso.
joe rogan
Kevin's pacing?
Hmm, okay.
post malone
There it is.
joe rogan
It's not the smallest torso.
I'm not arguing.
post malone
You're jealous.
You're a little bit jealous.
You know your torso's bigger.
joe rogan
He seems like he's got a good lung capacity.
He can take a big deep breath.
unidentified
What's in the box?
joe rogan
laughter - That's a creepy ass fucking movie, man.
I love a good creepy movie.
post malone
Me too.
True Detective was kind of like seven for me.
The first season.
joe rogan
Yes.
I like them supernatural.
I like creepy movies supernatural or with monsters because I know they're bullshit that way.
Like ones that are like too close to humans, to actual human beings.
post malone
I like that.
I like kind of like the slasher type vibe to where it's like, oh, there's a dude in a mask that wants to fuck everybody up.
Because I know if it was my house, I'd just pop the fucker and then burn him.
joe rogan
I don't think that works with Jason.
post malone
It works with Jason.
joe rogan
But he always comes back.
He made like 100 movies.
post malone
Well, what was the last movie?
joe rogan
The last movie was Jamie Lee Curtis.
She's still fucking with this dude.
It's Halloween.
Oh, that's a different one?
jamie vernon
Yeah, it's Michael Myers.
joe rogan
Oh, Jason is different.
post malone
Yeah, and then Michael Myers.
Yeah, Halloween.
joe rogan
That's right.
post malone
And my dad used to...
My dad used to scare the fuck out of me and he knew Michael Myers scared the shit out of me and for Halloween he put the mask on and scared the living shit out of me.
joe rogan
That's a terrible thing to do to a kid.
unidentified
Well, that's why I'm so fucked up to this day.
joe rogan
Michael Myers is Halloween and Jason is...
Which one had more movies?
Halloween was only a few, right?
post malone
Jason Voorhees, for sure.
joe rogan
He had the most.
post malone
There was like fucking eight of those motherfuckers.
Nine.
jamie vernon
He died in space or something like that.
unidentified
Don't!
post malone
Jason died in space!
That's where it got to.
That's where it got to.
He linked up...
Do you remember Leprechaun?
joe rogan
Yes!
Yes, I do!
post malone
Leprechaun killed Jason.
joe rogan
Oh my god, that happened?
post malone
It got to a point where Freddy Krueger was fighting Jason.
Oh!
And the only motherfucker that could kill Jason was fucking Freddy Krueger.
joe rogan
Oh, that's so stupid.
Oh my god, that's so stupid.
Look at him.
post malone
Yeah, man.
joe rogan
Leprechaun.
post malone
Yo, there is a Leprechaun vs.
unidentified
Jason?
joe rogan
There really is.
jamie vernon
Someone might have edited this cleverly or something.
joe rogan
No, I remember this.
This was an actual movie.
jamie vernon
I don't think so.
joe rogan
Are you sure?
post malone
I remember Leprechaun in space.
joe rogan
Well, why don't you Google whether or not it's a movie?
jamie vernon
Well, I did, and I just clicked on the first thing that popped up.
joe rogan
I think Leprechaun vs.
Jason was a movie.
jamie vernon
I think people are editing some shit.
joe rogan
Why don't you Google it?
post malone
Yeah, buddy.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
jamie vernon
I did, and all that comes up is YouTube clips.
I don't think it's a real movie.
joe rogan
What about that?
jamie vernon
Yeah, look, a fan-made trailer.
I made for fun.
joe rogan
A fan-made trailer.
Ah, you son of a bitch.
post malone
Yo, people ask for, is Jason stronger than Freddy?
Which Jason is the scariest?
joe rogan
Jason and Leprechaun.
How does someone not make that movie?
post malone
That movie is a dumb deal.
Can we look up Leprechaun Jason fan fiction?
joe rogan
Bro, before COVID, you could walk...
unidentified
There has to be some fanfic of Leprechaun and Jason.
joe rogan
100% there has to be.
But before COVID, you could probably walk into any of those horror movie-making producer's office and pitch that idea.
And they'd be like, oh shit, why didn't we think of that?
Leprechaun versus Jason.
post malone
In space.
joe rogan
In space.
In Yellowstone.
post malone
And Michael Myers is the director.
joe rogan
How many movies were there with Jason?
It has to be like 20, right?
Okay, let's ask this.
More Jasons or more Mission Impossibles?
post malone
More Jason.
joe rogan
Really?
post malone
For sure.
joe rogan
That's a lot of Mission Impossibles.
post malone
There's like five, right?
joe rogan
I don't know.
I was trying to find the newest one the other day.
I was trying to watch something crazy and mindless.
post malone
There's a lot of born identities.
jamie vernon
There's 12. There's 12 Friday the 13th.
joe rogan
Oh my god, the prophecy will be concluded on the 13th.
post malone
Yeah, exactly.
jamie vernon
They're waiting for that.
post malone
No, they're waiting for Leprechaun.
joe rogan
This is the trailer for the fucking movie, Jamie.
This is the trailer.
You saying that, us looking it up, everybody laughing.
post malone
Oh, fuck!
It's Jason Voorhees!
joe rogan
And the Leprechaun, together at last.
Imagine getting killed by a Leprechaun.
He'd be like, I can't believe this shit.
Like if you're a girl, you go home, if you're a groupie, and you go home with the goblin or the...
post malone
Necrogoblikon.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Imagine if he's a real goblin.
post malone
Can't even say the word.
Necrogoblikon.
Goblin's hard to say.
joe rogan
It would be a great Stephen King book right there.
A goblin who pretended to be a guy in makeup.
Oh yeah, yeah, he still writes.
Look at that leprechaun.
Terrifying.
post malone
Terrifying.
joe rogan
There's a great Stephen King movie about a vampire that flies around at night in his own plane.
Great in terms of, like, let me just, like, stress.
It's classic.
It's, like, very 80s-like.
It's not great when you see it.
Like, man, this is like they made it yesterday.
Not like, you know, like a...
You know, like a classic Francis Ford Coppola movie or a Stanley Kubrick movie.
Not like that.
But...
It's called Night Flyer, I think.
It's a really good book.
I read the book.
It's like a short story, I think.
And then the movie is this vampire just flying around fucking people up and then he covers his plane during the day and he just lays out there and they have to figure out what the fuck's going on.
And there's this vampire with his own plane flying around fucking people up.
post malone
That's pretty cool.
I watched Salem's Lot for the first time.
unidentified
That's a good movie.
joe rogan
That was a made-for-TV thing.
post malone
Salem's Lot?
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
Well, it's like fucking nine hours long.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like a made-for-network television miniseries type of deal.
post malone
Well, that was It, too.
It was made...
joe rogan
The first one, right?
post malone
It was a television thing, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, I think so.
That was the one with the guy from Rocky Horror Picture Show, right?
post malone
Mm-hmm.
Alice Cooper?
joe rogan
No, who is Tim Curry?
Tim Curry's the first It.
He was the first It in the TV version of It.
Which is like, believe it or not, scary at the time when it came out.
post malone
It's terrible.
No, that movie sucks.
I hate it.
It scares the fuck out of me still.
joe rogan
But they're nothing compared to the new ones.
That's the new It.
post malone
I think this guy's scarier than the new guy.
joe rogan
That's pretty scary.
post malone
We all float down here, cowboy.
joe rogan
Look at that face, man.
Jesus Christ.
So that's the 1990 Pennywise.
Yeah, there's something about that that might actually be creepier.
post malone
Yeah, it's just like...
Fucking lifeless.
joe rogan
Well, there's something about it.
It's a real...
The thing about that is, like, if you looked into a sewer and you saw a man, like, that's a real thing.
That's not, like, CGI. No, that's, like...
post malone
Yeah, there's no effects.
There's no effects.
joe rogan
Yeah, the thing about the new one is it scares the fuck out of you, but when it opens its mouth and then clamps down and bites a kid's arm off...
post malone
Right, you're like...
That's not real.
joe rogan
It's not really happening.
post malone
Do you know Michael Myers' mask was Will Shatner?
joe rogan
What?
unidentified
Really?
joe rogan
It was a Will Shatner mask?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
No shit!
post malone
It was...
Yeah, there's a lot of information on it.
But Michael Myers' mask was like a Will Shatner...
joe rogan
Oh my god.
post malone
It was supposed to be Captain Kirk, apparently, but...
joe rogan
Oh my god.
They just took the eyebrows off.
post malone
It's fucking terrifying.
joe rogan
Oh my god, it is.
That is who he is.
post malone
How weird.
Isn't that weird?
joe rogan
Fucking real weird.
post malone
But that's how it fucking goes.
It's like the uncanny valley.
joe rogan
There's something about someone wearing a mask too, like that kind of mask.
Like you don't see any humanity.
post malone
Yeah, it's just...
I'm gonna fucking destroy it.
joe rogan
Yes.
From the darkness.
That's what we're all scared of, right?
We're all scared of some super powerful demonic shit that's outside of our control.
Jason's coming, demons are coming.
What if demons existed, but really rarely?
Just like UFOs.
Like these people that have taken selfies at the Grand Canyon.
And they're like posing like, look, and then all of a sudden...
What if this little demon is just waiting for a moment like that?
post malone
In the Grand Canyon?
joe rogan
Yeah, everywhere.
Just waiting for you to do something stupid.
post malone
There's just a couple.
joe rogan
There's like 15. There it is, Night Flyer.
Yeah, look at that.
That's the vampire.
That guy's the reporter.
He's going to expose the vampire.
When I say it's really good, I don't mean it's really good.
I mean, it's really good because it's kind of schlocky and crazy, and you're watching this fucking...
jamie vernon
He's not fighting back very hard.
joe rogan
No, he can't.
The vampire has so much power, he has to do what the vampire says.
The book is cooler, for sure.
The book is really cool.
There's another book that's really good that Stephen King did about aliens called The Tommyknockers.
That's a great book.
That's about a UFO that was like buried in the in the ground near a town and its energy started fucking everybody up like it was it was messing with people and messing because there was this this thing that was right and that was a great book that they made a movie out of it but the movie didn't really kind of capture what the book was about.
jamie vernon
It's too hard.
post malone
It makes sense.
Radiation, I guess.
joe rogan
Yeah, radiation from some outer space craft fucking with all these people.
post malone
How do you react to that?
joe rogan
Who knows, man?
post malone
Who knows?
You've seen Brightburn?
joe rogan
Brightburn?
What's that?
post malone
So it's like Superman if he was bad.
joe rogan
Superman if he was bad.
post malone
If he was evil.
joe rogan
Okay.
post malone
I thought it was great.
joe rogan
It's a movie?
post malone
Yeah.
It's a movie.
Whoa!
joe rogan
When did this come out?
Really?
post malone
You should watch this fucker.
joe rogan
I'm so out of the loop.
post malone
You should watch this fucker.
It's pretty good.
joe rogan
Dude, that sounds incredible.
post malone
It's literally like parallel Superman, but if he was bullied and treated like shit and he was angry.
Just imagine that.
joe rogan
Oh my god, imagine that.
post malone
If you had that power, but you were angry instead of wanting to help people.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
Like who says superheroes want to help people?
joe rogan
Oh my god.
Yeah, imagine if you're like super fucking annoying, but you're also super powerful.
You're from another planet, but you smell weird and the girls here don't like you.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Fuck!
You're from another planet.
post malone
And you're fucking 12 and you're like...
joe rogan
God damn it.
And you just get angry and you become...
post malone
And you fucking...
joe rogan
You let them know.
post malone
Squish your mom.
joe rogan
Listen, bitches.
post malone
With a school bus.
joe rogan
I'm more powerful than all you fucking aunts.
post malone
That's...
I always think about that, too.
If there was a real superhero...
Would he lay low or would he be like, I am God?
joe rogan
He would be beating girls off his dick 24 hours a day and he wouldn't have a chance to save the world.
Because they would be just lined up.
post malone
There's a show called The Boys.
Right?
joe rogan
They don't want that DNA. Oh yeah, it's like a superhero show.
post malone
Yeah, but it's like, superheroes are like celebrities.
But it would be on such a more grand scale.
joe rogan
Bro.
post malone
But if you were the only one, too, you would be, like, the king of the planet.
joe rogan
Well, that was always my problem with the Watchmen.
Not my problem, but, like, an interesting part of the Watchmen story was Dr. Manhattan.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Who was basically a god.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
He could do anything.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
It seemed to be no limit to his powers.
I mean, he lived in space.
post malone
And his wiener was huge.
joe rogan
Huge.
Giant blue hog.
And that was back when you could show hogs.
You could show them in a movie.
post malone
Right?
I find a lot more hogs in movies nowadays.
joe rogan
Well, now they're desperate.
It's like all they have is streaming.
unidentified
We need a fucking hog.
joe rogan
They have to show the hog.
For a while, you could be cavalier about hiding your hogs.
You didn't have to go to showing the hog in order to get ratings.
But now, goddammit, with Netflix, they can do anything.
We've got to show some hogs.
post malone
We've got hogs on Netflix.
joe rogan
But in that movie, it was like, remember when they had Dr. Manhattan?
Like, you got out of the shower or something like that.
And you're like, Jesus.
Like, you see his big old dick.
And you had to.
So if you went just to see a superhero movie, and you're out there with your girl...
You're having some popcorn, drinking some Diet Coke, enjoying this movie, all of a sudden you see a big old blue dick that you did not expect.
post malone
But what about when he goes...
joe rogan
Yeah, but he has a giant blue hog.
unidentified
Full size.
post malone
Like huge, like in New York, walking around.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, with his giant blue dick, just swinging.
post malone
What does God's dick look like?
joe rogan
Like that.
It's perfect.
Not too big, not too small.
It's like the perfect tits aren't like triple E fake boobs, right?
There's a perfect time.
Perfect dick's ridiculous.
Like, what is the number?
Like, a dude with a giant carpet rolled dick?
That's no good.
Like, now you've got a handicap.
There's a comfortable time.
Like, whatever the size.
You gotta stop right there and don't be greedy.
post malone
I'm happy here.
Normal.
joe rogan
Good for you.
Normal's a good place to be, man.
Normal's a good place to be.
post malone
I don't want the Dr. Manhattan dick.
joe rogan
Yeah, you don't want any of that shit.
But that dude was a real god.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What's crazy is that could be people.
And that could be people in a hundred years.
With gene editing and technology.
And CRISPR. CRISPR and then the ability to...
They incorporate technology inside of human beings.
When they figure out how to put processors inside of human beings and make you smarter, they figure out a way to connect your brain, connect it through the air with the internet.
You're always connected, always on.
unidentified
That's the next move.
joe rogan
It's gonna happen.
post malone
That's the next move is your wallets in your body.
joe rogan
There was a video, and I don't know if it was fake.
Jamie, there was a video where there was a corporation that was, they convinced their employees to get a microchip in their arm.
Was that fake?
That was real.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
And they used it to, like, buy things at lunch, and they could use it to open doors.
Dude, they stuck this thing in their fucking arm.
So they have, like, this RFID chip in their arms.
Like, if you want to work there, you have to get it in your arm.
post malone
Sounds like the Belko experiment.
joe rogan
Just imagine that, man.
You want to work at UPS? Great.
We need to stick a fucking electronic roach inside your body.
post malone
I mean, 97% of money is digital.
joe rogan
Right, like how much of it is actual gold?
post malone
3%.
joe rogan
Look at that thing.
They planted that in that dude's fucking hand.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
Now what if he does jujitsu?
Then what?
Huh?
That thing's gonna break.
You're gonna have to cut it out.
It's gonna get infected.
God damn it.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
Bro, there's a fucking company and these people are lining up to get this shit injected into their body.
Look at that guy.
He's like, I should have stayed in college.
That's what he's thinking right now.
He's thinking, I should own this company.
These guys are all assholes.
I can't believe everyone's willing to get this thing inserted in their fucking body.
I couldn't ever.
It's crazy.
post malone
I couldn't ever.
joe rogan
What is the company's name?
jamie vernon
Three Square Market.
I think I read about it once, but they might have been doing proof of concept to show this could work for other companies.
joe rogan
Is that what they do?
jamie vernon
Do they do these things?
Almost like those Amazon Go stores where you could just walk in, grab what you want, and leave.
joe rogan
Uh-huh.
jamie vernon
That your chip knows how much money you have and it just scans the scanner or whatever on the way out.
post malone
That's so...
What if you don't have money?
joe rogan
Then it follows you home.
post malone
What if you don't have money?
joe rogan
One of those iRobots.
post malone
What if you build up that debt?
It's like 10 grand in chip debt and then they gotta fucking take your fucking hand.
joe rogan
iRobot knocks on your door.
Bang, bang, bang.
post malone
Man.
joe rogan
We are here to collect money from you, Pulse Malone.
post malone
It's the suede denim secret police.
joe rogan
Fuck.
unidentified
Westworld.
joe rogan
You ever watch that show?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
First season.
Artificial people you're allowed to shoot.
post malone
Artificial peepee?
joe rogan
People.
post malone
Oh, okay.
joe rogan
Robot people you're allowed to shoot.
post malone
Artificial peepee.
Artificial people, you're allowed to shoot.
joe rogan
I might have stumbled through that.
I might have fucked that up.
post malone
Well, I can't say necrogoblican.
unidentified
Who can?
post malone
Who can?
joe rogan
That would be a great Stephen King book, right?
A goblin that tricks people into thinking it's a man in a mask.
post malone
How about a goblin with a microchip that runs out of money?
And then he has to go on the run from his fucking...
joe rogan
His debt collectors.
post malone
That's a cool movie!
Yeah, that's a cool...
You get a little bit of Lord of the Rings, you get a little bit of Iroh, you get all that shit.
joe rogan
He has to tell people, I keep my phone off most of the time because his debt collectors just blow my phone up.
I only turn it on a couple minutes a day just to check my messages.
post malone
Maybe you think...
The chip just goes crazy and it gives you...
joe rogan
The advantages of implants over cards is their permanence.
They are unlikely to be lost and are non-transferable.
Businesses do not need to worry about theft or access details to the same degree because to do so would involve mutilation and be much more obvious.
What?
What the fuck is that?
post malone
They say mutilation in the article.
joe rogan
You mean someone stealing your chip so they could cut it off your body.
From a business perspective, it also allows a more precise tracking of employees due to the in-body nature of an implant over a car.
post malone
Oh my god.
joe rogan
So listen to this, but this statement is so bizarre.
post malone
Mutilation in the article is...
joe rogan
Businesses do not need to worry about theft or...
Of access details to the same degree because to do so would involve mutilation and be much more obvious.
Can you imagine?
You don't have to worry about someone cutting that chip out of your fucking hip and using it to open all the building and stealing all the information because that would be obvious.
post malone
No, it'd be really obvious.
Everyone would see it coming.
unidentified
And it would involve mutilation.
post malone
I love mutilation in the paragraph.
That's my favorite.
joe rogan
You're sitting around at your house thinking, I can't believe I let these motherfuckers inject this thing in my hip.
Just feeling it every morning.
You touch this thing.
post malone
That's what I was getting at.
If you're overdue on your balance, it would just irritate you.
There would be something that would irritate you to the point of insanity.
joe rogan
Wake up and get another job to pay me.
What?
Who are you?
post malone
You're fucking neurological.
joe rogan
Who said that?
post malone
Yeah.
unidentified
The chip.
post malone
It's your chip.
It's chip.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's the Overlord.
We are communicating to you from your chip.
post malone
You don't want us to involve mutilation in this fucking...
joe rogan
Because that would be obvious.
unidentified
It would be too obvious.
joe rogan
It would be too obvious.
unidentified
That's like the most non-soothing...
post malone
Yeah, if they were trying to sell that fucker, it's not working.
joe rogan
That is the least soothing way to say no one's gonna steal the chip.
No, they would have to cut it out of you.
It would involve mutilation.
Holy fuck.
Imagine.
No one mutilates.
Don't worry.
It's totally safe.
No one's ever mutilated.
It's not like...
jamie vernon
They don't even have a really good reason for you to do it.
joe rogan
Of course they don't.
jamie vernon
It's just like to use copy machines.
Open doors.
post malone
Use the copy machine?
joe rogan
How about I just press fucking copy?
unidentified
How about I press start, boss?
joe rogan
You can't put a fucking chip in me, bitch.
unidentified
What if that chip rots?
joe rogan
What happens if you play rugby and the chip breaks inside your arm?
jamie vernon
It says you can take it out just as easy as a splinter.
post malone
That's a lie.
jamie vernon
But then it says me relation.
unidentified
The chip is about this fucking big.
post malone
That's the biggest splinter I've seen.
joe rogan
That's hilarious.
Oh my god, they would just have to Bowie knife it out of you.
That's gotta be a fucking...
It probably is a Dark Mirror episode, right?
Is there one of those where someone gets a chip?
post malone
I think every episode of Black Mirror, they have a chip.
joe rogan
Yeah, they figured it out.
Black Mirror's figured out everything that's gonna happen, everything that's gonna go wrong.
jamie vernon
You had the cloning thing earlier with that cloning episode that dude had, remember?
Where they had the space station team, like...
joe rogan
Oh, yes.
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
That was the one where the guy was the tyrant, right?
Yeah.
Fuck, that was a creepy one.
That was a creepy one.
post malone
I like the video game one where he goes stays at that old mansion and he just goes fucking nuts.
joe rogan
That's a good one.
How long before they're going to make an artificial Post Malone that looks just like you?
Sits right next to you.
Freaks you out.
post malone
Is he doing my shows?
joe rogan
No, he's got no talent.
post malone
He's a robot?
joe rogan
I think it's gonna be a long road before they figure out a way to make an artificial thing that's creative.
I think that might be the only thing we have.
post malone
Well, they try to make computers make music all the time.
It sucks.
joe rogan
It sucks.
There's something that we do, like we were talking about earlier, when you're doing something, we, I mean humans, that makes other people happy, That thing is hard to define.
It's hard to figure out with numbers.
Like, you listen to Eye of the Tiger, and you want to start running?
post malone
It's the Eye of the Tiger!
joe rogan
Like, what is that?
post malone
Let a computer fucking make that.
joe rogan
Can't make it.
post malone
There's no shot.
joe rogan
If you were a kid, when I was, when Rocky III came out, and that fucking song comes out, holy shit!
Come on, man.
post malone
What are my chances of the artificial postie sitting here while I take a piss?
unidentified
Take a piss.
joe rogan
I knew.
I knew it was coming.
unidentified
Go.
joe rogan
Go take a piss, bro.
We have plenty of time.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
post malone
And this is sponsored by Necrogoblican.
joe rogan
We'll be right back.
Yeah, disc problems are no joke, man.
If you have bulging discs or herniated discs, you've got to take care of those.
What you definitely can't do is fuck them up worse.
post malone
Sure.
joe rogan
If you have a chance, do something.
They're real close to being able to fix that, too.
They're already replacing them.
They're replacing them with these titanium discs that move around.
They're not perfect, but it's better than having degenerative disc disease and having massive pain all the time.
post malone
And that's not something that I'm mad at.
What are you mad at?
A disc.
I'm mad at chips in your hands that you have to mutilate to get out.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's scary.
post malone
People totally do that.
But a piece of metal instead of a bone isn't harmful.
joe rogan
No.
post malone
Because there's no technology in that.
It's just a filler, right?
Right.
It's just something to replace something that's broken.
joe rogan
Right.
Like if your hand gets bitten off by a shark, and they say, listen, you have two options.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
You can have no hand, or we'll make you a hand that looks exactly like your old hand, Luke Skywalker style.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
When you put that on, you can feel with it and everything, but it just won't be a real hand.
post malone
No, I mean, that's totally fine, too, if it's controlled by your brain.
joe rogan
You wake up in the middle and it's choking you.
post malone
And see, that's the whole argument.
joe rogan
That could happen.
post malone
That could happen.
joe rogan
Come on, man.
Some Terminator shit.
How strong would your goddamn hand be if it was made out of metal and wires and shit?
post malone
Do you think you couldn't fight?
joe rogan
A robot?
No.
They'd fuck you up.
post malone
If you had a metal hand, you couldn't fight.
joe rogan
No, they wouldn't let you.
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
No chance.
You can't have a metal thing.
That would be like the new argument.
post malone
Bone is hard as fuck.
joe rogan
Metal-handed people are people too, and they would want to enter into MMA and fuck people up with their iron arms.
Oh my god, that's that dude's, oh shit.
jamie vernon
Bobby Gelder.
But he's got some, I just was looking, he had this crazy hook thing.
joe rogan
Oh, so he makes a bunch of different...
post malone
That's cool as hell.
joe rogan
Is that for climbing?
jamie vernon
It doesn't say, I don't think.
joe rogan
So he has different prosthetics that he does different things with.
jamie vernon
Yeah, no context for that.
joe rogan
I met him.
He's got a carbon fiber articulating hand and a carbon fiber leg.
He got attacked by a shark.
post malone
Is the hand controllable?
joe rogan
Yeah, he can move it like this.
post malone
With his nerves.
joe rogan
I don't know how it's hooked up.
Do you know how it's hooked up?
jamie vernon
Nope.
joe rogan
I don't know if it's muscles.
Maybe he contracts it with his muscles.
post malone
That's the whole thing.
That's okay.
But if somebody gets...
It's like the self-driving car, right?
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
If there's a way for somebody to control that...
And it's not just your nerves or whatever controlling it.
unidentified
Right.
post malone
Instead of it's hooked up to the cloud or something somewhere.
Like the fucking chip.
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
I do know what you mean.
Look, I've never played an acoustic guitar.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
But I would imagine it's probably a pretty magical experience to play in like a really good guitar.
It's very visceral and satisfying.
That...
That analog, visceral, satisfying feeling of doing something, that exists in the car world, too.
If you're driving like a 1969 Porsche 911, those air-cooled cars, they weigh like 2,000 pounds, and it's a...
It's got this crazy weird mechanical sound to it.
Bro, there's a connection you have to that that you're not gonna get once you start adding technology.
All that shit's gone.
That weird thing, that very analog thing that you get from like...
It exists with looking at a painting.
It exists with listening to someone sing.
It exists with jokes.
There's a thing, man, when you can just fucking nail a thing that makes you feel.
Those cars make you feel better.
That's the difference.
An old car will make you feel better.
A new car's not going to do that.
A new car's going to be cool as fucking awesome, but it's not going to make you feel better.
There's something about...
post malone
Yeah, it feels good.
joe rogan
You feel better.
You're on a drug.
It's a very mild, amazing drug.
You're not going to get that off a spaceship that's autonomous.
You know, it's autonomously driving.
post malone
Yeah, and that's the whole deal.
It's like, you know...
There is technology that's helpful.
Technology does not go with the human body.
This is like organic.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Yes.
post malone
And like the chip, it's gonna go wrong sometimes.
joe rogan
For sure, it has to.
It's not like it's gonna be perfect.
All the people with the chip are 100% happy.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
None of them got infections.
post malone
No mutilation.
joe rogan
Everybody was happy.
Nobody mutilated them.
post malone
There was no mutilation.
joe rogan
It was never so obvious.
post malone
That's what I'm saying.
Like, if you have to have a piece or a disc in your spine removed with a metal plate instead of a metal plate with a microchip in it, that's the total difference.
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
I do know what you mean.
But what if that microchip made you feel better?
What if they put that microchip in you and all of a sudden...
This is how I want you to look at it.
What it is, is essentially new software management of your body.
Your mind will stay the same, Post Malone, but your body will now be in control of this perfect system that's going to figure out what it needs and what it doesn't need, work it all out.
You just live your life.
You don't have to worry about your body anymore.
post malone
I've already seen too many movies about this.
joe rogan
Don't worry about your body.
post malone
I'm not into it.
joe rogan
It's fine.
Everything's going to be wonderful.
post malone
It's okay.
It is cool to be cyborg.
joe rogan
If you're living a shitty life, you're like, I fucking hate delivering for Postmates.
I hate fucking where I sleep.
I hate what I do.
I'm tired.
I don't want to do it anymore.
And then all of a sudden this little thing comes along and says, give control of your body to the state.
You'll still be the same inside your mind.
But our microchip will control all of your biology to the point where you no longer need to go to the doctor.
You don't need health insurance because you're never going to get sick.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
One by one, people give in.
post malone
Interesting.
joe rogan
We'll get infected.
post malone
Interesting.
joe rogan
We'll get infected by technology.
post malone
Interesting.
joe rogan
Don't you think it's possible?
post malone
Most definitely.
joe rogan
But is it better?
Here's the thing.
Is it better if your grandma dies of cancer?
Or is it better if you have some technology that keeps you from ever getting any disease ever, but it's embedded inside your body?
And it's controlled by a team of scientists.
post malone
But it comes to...
I was watching something...
joe rogan
This robot can walk and swim.
So, it gets in your cells, makes its way through to your brain, and fucking explodes.
Jihad.
This is the craziest thing ever.
What they're willing to do today with technology and what they're experimenting on, what we're seeing in these videos is just a tiny amount of what's possible for them in the future.
I mean, they could Man, we could have insane technology of changing human bodies inside our lifetime.
post malone
You're in shape, right?
joe rogan
I try my best.
post malone
Me, not so much.
joe rogan
Do you ever want to be?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
Well, there you go then.
post malone
Yeah, I mean, I'm happy here.
joe rogan
As long as you're happy.
post malone
But like we were talking about earlier, it comes to, I guess, generation-wise.
joe rogan
Yes.
post malone
Because if you have to pantomime a cell phone, how do you do it?
joe rogan
You gotta do it like this.
post malone
Like this?
joe rogan
Yeah, flip phone.
post malone
But I saw a video.
joe rogan
Are they doing this now?
post malone
They're doing this.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
post malone
Because of the iPhone.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
But we do it like this.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
So, maybe later comes a time, because like I said, I will never drive a fully autonomous car.
But I'm sure there's someone years down the line that will be like, oh, fuck yeah.
Are you kidding me?
joe rogan
I think they're gonna do it because it's safer.
And I think that's why it's going to be really hard to get people to sign off on the idea of letting people drive their own cars.
It's a thing that we got really used to, that we only got used to for a little while.
I mean, there was no cars in 1700, and in the 2020s, everyone's got a fucking car.
post malone
They're everywhere.
joe rogan
So in that time period, we went from all of human history, no cars, to the invention of a car, whenever the fuck that was.
We figured that out once.
I think like 1800s or something.
The 1800s, they figured out the first car.
That's not that long.
And then we just decide, well, you have to have a car.
unidentified
It's a basic human right.
joe rogan
You don't really have to have a car.
But cars are awesome.
Like, an old car is awesome.
post malone
You do need to have a car.
How are you going to get to your job?
joe rogan
Public transportation, if it's better.
But that's a car.
Well, not necessarily.
It could be like a tube where people fly through it.
It's all magnets on the other end to keep it from crashing into each other.
They could figure out some weird shit that has nothing to do with cars.
post malone
It's too late.
joe rogan
It's not totally too late.
I think if they could figure out a way to convince people that there will be no more auto accidents, that would be a good way to get people on board.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
If they said no more auto accidents ever, people would probably be like, oh, well, how can you argue against that, you selfish fuck?
You want to shift through your own gears and kill my nana?
And that's what people are going to do.
They're going to give in to it because they don't want to be selfish.
I mean, this is like the slow slide into accepting that we're a part of technology.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
The slow slide is us hanging on to our biology as much as possible.
I think that's a good thing.
I think biology's awesome.
But I see the writing on the wall.
I see where it's going.
post malone
Yeah, I mean, it's going away.
joe rogan
We're sliding into this new existence.
But we're real insistent on keeping our old ways.
It's real weird.
I know in terms of, like, I like to hear the rumble of an engine.
I'm one of those people.
I love a rumble of an engine.
post malone
Right.
I don't want to backtrack too much, but I have been.
But, at the end of the day, I would rather...
Be responsible for my decisions, I suppose.
joe rogan
Yes.
Well, you're an artist.
You know, just being an artist is a different kind of person.
It's a person who's chosen a path of doing whatever the fuck they want to do.
Like expressing themselves professionally.
Of course you don't want someone driving you.
It feels good to drive.
Yeah.
There's experiences that you get in life.
You want to feel them all.
You know, and some of them are dangerous.
Some of them come with consequences if you make a mistake.
That's how you get better.
If you take away all consequences.
My concern is that we're going to just like keep protecting ourselves more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more to it to the point where we're just incapable of withstanding any adversity.
unidentified
That's what I'm worried about with people. - Well, and that's what I say.
post malone
This is why I would rather drive my own car is because like...
You never fully...
You wake up and you never know what's happening.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
You never know what's going to happen during the day.
joe rogan
There's something good about that.
post malone
Yeah.
No, it's incredible.
But we're all people and...
I would rather have that be biological than...
A computer.
joe rogan
Yes.
post malone
Controlled.
And that's where I'm coming from, I suppose.
joe rogan
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
I see both sides of it.
I really do.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
I'm not on a particular side of it.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Because I think what all of us are doing is witnessing these changes happening in real time and trying to hold on to whatever ground we have that we think is important and sacred.
I think that's one of the things we're doing where You know, people that ride motorcycles, they want to ride Harleys and loud engines, and it's romantic, it's exciting.
All those things I think are cool.
But I see the writing on the wall.
Like, a hundred years from now, it's all going to be autonomous.
There's going to be very few licenses that we give away to people to let them drive their own cars.
It's probably all going to be controlled by some central system that keeps you at a certain pace.
It's going to be annoying.
It's going to be annoying.
It's going to be just drive to work.
No more fun anymore.
Before, it's like if you worked at a job and you had a 68 Camaro and you drove your 68 Camaro to work, while you're driving down the street listening to Whitesnake, here I go again on my own.
And you're driving this fucking thing and you're shifting your own gears.
That guy's having a good-ass time.
And someone can come along, take that away, and say, no, no, no, you have to get in the autonomous tube now.
Because safety, safety's important.
So this poor fucking dude who looked forward to his drive to work.
He had a 20-minute drive to work, but during that 20 minutes, he listened to all the music he wanted to listen to.
He listened to whatever the fuck he wanted.
And then he pulled into that and shh...
Pulled into that fucking parking spot, shut his car off.
Now he's gotta go to work.
But he knows that in eight hours he'll be free and fire that car up again.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Shift his own gears.
Drive home.
Listen to the best tunes.
Call your friends.
unidentified
Woo!
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
You gonna take that away from him?
You gonna take that part away?
A person who really understands the fun of cars?
post malone
What about an attack?
joe rogan
An attack?
What kind of attack?
post malone
Like...
The ability to escape?
No, you think about you pull out your debit card, right?
And all of a sudden, no one's debit card works.
joe rogan
Oh yeah, right?
What's gonna stop that from happening?
What do you do with no money?
post malone
There's only 3% that's real cash.
That's real, like, palpable...
joe rogan
So if everybody wanted all the paper for all the money they have in the bank, we would never be able to do it?
post malone
If everybody's debit card stopped working, it would fucking...
joe rogan
How much cash is there out there, right?
post malone
I have no idea.
joe rogan
But how much cash is there out there now in comparison to, like, the 80s when there was only cash?
post malone
Is it the same amount of cash out there?
It's probably the same amount.
joe rogan
But most people use credit cards now, right?
Like, way more.
post malone
Yeah, but think about, if we had an enemy that wanted to say, or even our own government, that's just like, all technology, monetary-wise, is cut off.
joe rogan
Yeah, they just killed the system.
They just stopped it all.
No more banks.
No more banking.
No more ATMs.
post malone
What are you going to do?
joe rogan
You don't have any money.
post malone
Nobody has any money.
You can't buy food.
You can't buy anything.
So you have to steal and then...
joe rogan
All your money is locked up.
How much U.S. currency is in circulation?
post malone
About 2 trillion.
joe rogan
As of July 8th, 2020. 1.3 trillion.
post malone
Look, how much...
How much is...
joe rogan
Out there.
How much money is out there?
post malone
How do we differentiate what is...
Like, digital money?
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
And what is actual money?
joe rogan
Good point.
There's 1.3 trillion accounted for, but how much of it is in actual paper cash, right?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
And what is paper cash even worth?
joe rogan
Depends on where you're at, right?
Some people don't even want it.
Some restaurants are like, no, we don't take cash.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're like, whoa.
post malone
You do the...
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
It's a thing they flip it around.
jamie vernon
It says, uh, according to the CIA, the total amount of broad money is 80 trillion dollars.
joe rogan
Whoa.
post malone
And cash was?
joe rogan
1.2 trillion.
So 1.9 trillion is actual cash and all the rest of it is just bullshit.
post malone
It's bullshit!
unidentified
It's fucking ethereal!
post malone
It's fucking nowhere.
joe rogan
It doesn't exist.
unidentified
There's not a vault you can go in like a fucking Guy Ritchie movie.
post malone
Imagine where we're at war with a country and then they have the best hackers or whatever.
This is all hypothetical.
But you go to swipe your card and it doesn't work.
And then everybody in America goes to swipe their card and it doesn't work.
Who?
joe rogan
And then you find out the goblin lead singer of that band was a real goblin!
post malone
It's a real goblin!
joe rogan
And he's eating people the same way that centipede eats mice.
Gets right in the back of their head and climbs into their fucking skull.
post malone
That's a terrible video.
That's a terrible video.
joe rogan
I know, it's a horrible video.
unidentified
It's pretty brutal.
joe rogan
It is so brutal, and that's what's normal.
That's normal out there.
We've figured out a way to wall it off.
That's what it is.
All day long.
It's things eating things.
Right.
It's fucking chaos.
unidentified
Yeah.
post malone
Things eat things, that's true.
unidentified
The ocean.
joe rogan
The ocean is one giant murder soup.
That's all it is.
Just monster murder soup.
A bunch of fucking things killing each other.
post malone
How do you feel about whales?
joe rogan
I love them.
post malone
I think they're cool.
joe rogan
I've been around them.
post malone
I've never seen one in my whole life.
joe rogan
You should go to Hawaii.
I think it's around...
I want to say it's around November-ish.
Find out when the whales go near...
I've seen them near the Big Island on one of them cruises they take you out.
I've seen them a couple times accidentally while fishing from Maui, but I've seen them on the Big Island where you go out on a boat ride.
Humpback whale season on the Hawaiian Islands.
Yeah, between November and early May.
But some months are better than others.
So it's cool, man.
So you're in this boat, and then as you're out there, you just see one break the surface.
And then they, you know, lean towards that area.
And sometimes you see them swim under the boat.
It's incredible.
They're so big, man.
They don't even seem real.
post malone
They're the biggest creatures on the planet.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
Currently.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're the biggest creatures.
Blue whales are, right?
The biggest?
jamie vernon
I saw something that said ever.
joe rogan
Sperm whales, maybe?
jamie vernon
Blue whale, biggest thing ever.
post malone
Ever?
jamie vernon
Wow.
joe rogan
They're so big, dude.
post malone
That's a fucking dinosaur.
joe rogan
How long have they been around?
Like, they didn't get killed by the Yucatan blast, right?
Aren't they something that's millions of years old?
Maybe not that many million.
Maybe that's what it is.
Like, when you think about dolphins and how fucking intelligent they are, how long have they been around?
Here we go.
173 tons.
Oh my god.
post malone
Oh my fucking god.
joe rogan
29.9 meters, which is 100 feet long.
It's basically 100 feet long.
And weighed 173 tons.
post malone
Known to have ever existed.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
An adult weighs 330,000 pounds.
post malone
And they live 90 fucking years.
They live 90 years.
joe rogan
And they're smart.
That's what's weird.
We don't, you know, they take care of their young.
They're smart.
unidentified
They're some weird mammal.
joe rogan
But then there's orcas.
Orcas are their cousins to dolphins.
That's the ones we love, right?
We love killer whales.
But they murder dolphins.
They murder whales.
They're the murderers of the ocean.
They're the kings.
post malone
Killer whales.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But they call them killer whales.
They're not a whale.
They're a dolphin.
post malone
Orcas are dolphins.
joe rogan
Yeah.
They call them killer whales because they kill whales.
post malone
So do they have sex for fun?
joe rogan
I don't know if they do.
Orcas.
That's a good question.
post malone
Because dolphins do.
joe rogan
Because dolphins do.
That's a really good question.
Let's find out.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Do orcas have recreational sex?
post malone
Casual.
joe rogan
Or sex for fun.
post malone
Do orcas have casual sex?
joe rogan
Sex for fun, you'll probably get a better article.
unidentified
You'll get someone who's got a sense of humor.
joe rogan
Google do orcas fuck for fun.
You'll get the best article.
Got anything?
jamie vernon
It gets weirder.
I gotta get a better search here.
It's not giving me good results.
joe rogan
I wonder how much they know about them, you know?
I don't think they know about them the same way they know about dolphins.
post malone
Is there, because there's not a lot of them.
joe rogan
There's not as many as there used to be, that's for sure.
There's a real worry about the ones that are in the Pacific Northwest.
There's a pod around the Seattle area, I think, that for whatever reason doesn't want to eat anything other than Chinook salmon.
I think it's Chinook salmon.
And they're running out of salmon.
There's not as many salmon anymore, so these things are starving.
And so they're trying to reintroduce, like, the idea of getting them to eat, like, seals, sea lions, things like that, because other killer whales eat them all the time.
So you have this native pod of killer whales that's really struggling, and then you have these pods that are travelers.
They travel into the neighborhood, and they just fuck everything up.
They eat all the seals, they eat whatever they want.
They eat mammals, they eat fish, they eat whatever they want, and then they take off.
So they're only there for a little while.
But there's one pod, for whatever reason, just wants salmon.
post malone
How many is in the pod?
joe rogan
I don't know how many.
They're having a hard time keeping them active.
They're even thinking about releasing extra salmon into the water.
They've had a bunch of weird ideas of how to save them.
Jamie's Googling everything.
jamie vernon
It says there's a lot of animals that have sex, not just for reproduction.
joe rogan
For sure, chimps do.
jamie vernon
But it says they also masturbate, which I found in this article.
unidentified
Hey!
jamie vernon
How?
How?
I don't know.
It just says they do stuff when reproduction isn't their only...
post malone
On a rock?
joe rogan
Fuck a crab.
They call it masturbation.
It's crab rape.
post malone
Jesus Christ.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
Imagine a killer whale's horn.
He's just rubbing up against you.
You're like, just finish.
unidentified
Please.
post malone
A killer whale?
joe rogan
Just go ahead.
jamie vernon
Don't kill me.
They get high with puffer fish, right?
Dolphins do?
Don't they, like, pass them around?
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, dolphins do.
post malone
What?
joe rogan
There's stories of killer whales rescuing people when they fall off boats, which is really crazy.
Like, they've actually said killer whales have actually helped them.
It's weird.
Because they kill people in captivity, but only because they're, probably because they're tortured.
You know, they're living in a fucking swimming pool, a giant majestic ocean animal trapped in a prison for no reason, didn't do anything wrong.
Eventually they just start killing their trainers.
They just get pissed off.
post malone
Man.
joe rogan
Man.
post malone
Holy shit.
You guys are putting me on.
You say they...
joe rogan
They get high.
They use a toxic tougher fish.
post malone
That's fucking crazy.
joe rogan
They take a little toot and they pass it around.
The dolphin's expert, deliberate handling of the terrorized pufferfish implies that this is not their first time at the hallucinogenic rodeo.
post malone
What if a human smoked pufferfish?
joe rogan
You'll probably be dead in a second.
post malone
What's it like?
joe rogan
I don't know, but we don't have a face like that.
I would imagine a lot of shit a dolphin could do that you can't.
post malone
Swim.
joe rogan
It's got more poisonous...
Wow.
1200 times more poisonous than cyanide.
Enough toxin in one pufferfish to kill 30 adult humans.
post malone
And there is no known antidote.
joe rogan
Jesus Christ.
Meanwhile...
post malone
Only resulting in mutilation.
joe rogan
Dolphins are like, I'm just here to get high.
post malone
I got this.
joe rogan
You pussies don't know what you're doing.
post malone
How does that work?
joe rogan
I don't know.
post malone
I never knew that.
joe rogan
You know what's weird is that people want to eat them.
They're like a prized sushi meat because it's exciting.
You're eating something that if the chef fucks this up, you're dead.
post malone
Dolphins or pufferfish?
Pufferfish.
joe rogan
I don't think dolphins.
There's no dolphin sushi, is there?
post malone
I don't know.
joe rogan
There has to be something.
post malone
I like warm fish.
joe rogan
Warm fish?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like cooked.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Baked.
Yeah, I hear you.
You're not a sushi guy?
Yeah.
Fugu, that's it right there.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
Yeah, so that is a...
It's a delicacy.
For whatever reason, people like the idea of eating something that might fucking kill them.
And it has to be expertly...
unidentified
Top 10 most dangerous foods.
joe rogan
Served in paper-thin slices by expert chefs, the fugu combines luxury with high-stakes gamble.
The intestines, ovaries, and liver of fugu or blowfish contains a poison called tetrodotoxin, and liver of fugu or blowfish contains a poison called tetrodotoxin, poison called tetrodotoxin, which is 1,200 This toxin is so potent that a lethal dose is smaller than the head of a pin.
unidentified
A lethal dose, smaller than the head of a pin.
joe rogan
And a single fish is enough poison to kill 30 people because of the high risk.
Chefs must undergo two to three years of training to obtain a fugu preparing license.
And such expertise raises the price of fugu dishes up to $200.
What?
post malone
That's kind of cheap.
joe rogan
It's really cheap.
I think you might die.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
They consume 10,000 tons of fugu fish every year.
Oh my god, they're so ballsy.
That's a warrior culture right there.
Fucking fugu fish.
post malone
Should we try it?
joe rogan
No!
post malone
I'll try it.
joe rogan
Bro, I don't want to be there when you die.
jamie vernon
I clicked one.
I wanted to see what other foods were first.
The first food they listed.
joe rogan
Hot dogs?
Hot dogs are more dangerous than fugu fish?
jamie vernon
It says people choke on them.
joe rogan
Oh, please.
post malone
Oh, my God.
jamie vernon
70% of food-related asphyxiations in those younger than 10 are caused from hot dogs.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
I understand little kids and the parents don't know how to do the Heimlich, but there's a certain age where you're on your own if you choke to death on a hot dog.
There's a certain age.
Like, hey, man.
Do you know how to give yourself a Heimlich?
Because I don't.
jamie vernon
You gotta throw yourself on the end of a chair.
I don't know if it will work, but that's what you gotta do.
post malone
What is it?
jamie vernon
Find a chair and throw your body on it.
Chuck the food out of your mouth.
post malone
You don't just like...
joe rogan
Maybe.
post malone
Yeah, just kind of like...
joe rogan
Maybe.
post malone
Like in an upwards motion.
joe rogan
You get behind someone and you force it, right?
You force the air out.
So what the fuck do you do?
Do you have to get them bending forward?
You do, right?
So that the food, when it pops out, doesn't fall right back in their hole.
Right?
jamie vernon
Actually, it says so far.
I'm like, it should be a fist.
post malone
Yeah, punch yourself right in an upward motion.
jamie vernon
I'll show you.
I'll make sure what it says to do.
But it says do both.
Do the chair is the best way to do it.
post malone
Yeah, the chair is good.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
So this guy slammed his hand.
Oh, it's like a gable grip.
Like you're trying to take someone down.
Slam it into your...
Okay, so right where your solar plexus is.
jamie vernon
You gotta be careful.
post malone
But what kind of chair?
There's so many different kinds of chairs.
jamie vernon
Well, hey, if you're choking, you gotta find the closest one, I think.
joe rogan
I heard that people break ribs doing this all the time.
Makes sense.
And then CPR, people break ribs doing that, too.
Makes sense.
You're pushing on the ribs, trying to get someone to breathe.
Trying to get that food out of their stomach, that fucking hot dog.
post malone
What if the chair's like a throne, like a cool vampire throne, and it's sharp on the top?
Then you're gonna impale yourself.
joe rogan
Yeah, don't do that.
post malone
That's when you do the fist.
joe rogan
Don't do the Heimlich when you're near a vampire throne.
post malone
It's fucking life lessons here.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You ever see that Gary Oldman Dracula movie?
unidentified
Uh-uh.
joe rogan
Dude, that's a classic.
With Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves.
You ever see that?
jamie vernon
Before we got too far, a picture of Henry Heimlich, the guy who invented it, popped up.
post malone
No shit.
jamie vernon
He came up with it in 1974 when it was promoted, so what the fuck did people do before that?
joe rogan
Died.
jamie vernon
They only had been doing it for like 50 years.
post malone
Stabbed themselves with a fucking vampire throne.
jamie vernon
That's crazy.
joe rogan
Wow.
jamie vernon
I'm sure there was something, but like...
post malone
Wow.
joe rogan
The Self-Heimlich Maneuver.
Maneuver.
Excuse me.
A poem by Fred Payton.
So there it is.
Heimlich Maneuver to dissolve.
Heimlich recommended standing behind the person, wrapping arms around...
What is that?
Nine?
What is that?
Around nine clasping hands?
What does that mean?
jamie vernon
That's the and sign.
joe rogan
Oh, and.
Oh, and clasping hands.
I never know what that sign is called.
I know what it is.
I know it's and.
I know it's ampersand once you said it.
jamie vernon
I can't spell it.
joe rogan
But if you said to me, what is that thing called, before you just said that, I'd be like, I don't know what the fuck that thing's called.
Yeah, I don't know how you would do it yourself.
You would lean forward, I guess, and just slam it in?
post malone
And how do you figure that out?
joe rogan
You don't want to die.
post malone
Do you just, like, choke yourself with, like, just eat steak, and then...
joe rogan
Purposely choke yourself?
post malone
Yeah.
And then, like, well, fuck, it's gotta work.
joe rogan
I think someone probably did it one time, and then the other went...
Ah.
The other people went, that's what you do.
Write that down.
post malone
But Heimlich, I didn't...
You said 1972?
74. 74?
jamie vernon
Jesus Christ.
post malone
I figured that would have been around for years.
joe rogan
Yeah, right?
post malone
Hundreds of years.
joe rogan
People just thought demons were taking you when you're choking on food.
unidentified
Demons!
They put them in the fucking witch jail.
post malone
The witch jail.
Demons!
Possessed grasshoppers.
joe rogan
My little Billy was a good boy.
post malone
And the demons came.
joe rogan
And they took him while I was eating hot dogs.
post malone
17%.
joe rogan
He was fine.
There was nothing wrong with him.
post malone
Hot dogs is the most dangerous food?
joe rogan
That's crazy.
More than fugu.
That's how much better Japanese people are at being humans than Americans.
We die from hot dogs.
They don't even die from this fucking super toxic thing where one drop the head of a pin could kill a whole human being.
They don't even die.
post malone
That doesn't measure out to me though, by the way.
Okay.
There's enough poison.
joe rogan
Right.
post malone
In a puffer fish to kill 30 humans, but one pin drop is a lethal dose.
joe rogan
Yeah, they have a very small amount of poison, I guess.
jamie vernon
The policy before this was slapping somebody on the back.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
jamie vernon
And it took until, like, 1970 when this guy was, like, researching this to found out that it actually pushed the food further back down.
So the Red Cross had to have, like, a do not allow anyone to slap you on your back if you're choking and try to dislodge food.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
jamie vernon
And then, like, he said he read an article, Dr. Heimlich, about people dying.
It was the sixth most leading cause of death.
So he's, like, starting to figure it out.
unidentified
It's pretty crazy.
joe rogan
What a wizard he is.
It makes sense with hot dogs, though, because you get to bite off those chunks, you know?
Like, it's so easy to bite off, and if you're a glutton, or if you just make a mistake, and you just bite off too big a piece, and you think you're alright, and you're like...
What's the fucking solution there, though?
post malone
Heimlich maneuver.
Vampire thrones.
Obviously.
Bro.
joe rogan
When you look at how many people have died from choking, ever.
jamie vernon
That's why he was looking it up.
It was like in one year 6,000 people died.
You never hear about it unless it was someone famous.
It's like Kennedy's sister-in-law or someone died of choking on meat.
joe rogan
Oh really?
post malone
Wow.
I think I've only been in one dire choking situation.
joe rogan
What happened?
post malone
I was at dinner with my family at our house and I took a bite of steak and It just clogged me up.
joe rogan
Fuck.
post malone
My uncle gave me the Heimlich maneuver.
Shout out to, uh, what's his name?
joe rogan
Heimlich.
Henry Heimlich.
Shout out to old Henry.
post malone
Henry Heimlich, yeah.
joe rogan
Thanks, Henry.
post malone
Have you ever been in a dire choking situation?
joe rogan
No, not really.
I've definitely been choking at points, like I've had something like, but I either threw it up or something.
Never where I thought this was it, I'm gonna die.
post malone
I had- it's terrifying.
joe rogan
I can only imagine.
post malone
Have you been- you've been there.
joe rogan
Scary shit.
post malone
Freak out.
Just imagine enjoying a delicious piece of steak and then you're like, well fuck, it took a turn.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
And now I'm dying.
joe rogan
And you could die if people around you don't know what the fuck to do.
You could die.
post malone
Henry Heimlich saved us all.
joe rogan
Yeah, you can't be timid with that Heimlich maneuver either.
post malone
You gotta really get after it.
joe rogan
Yeah, you gotta get after it because you might not have that much time.
How many of those you get?
post malone
Heimlich's?
joe rogan
How many times can you force it?
You know, I mean you could break someone's fucking ribs, too.
You have to think about that.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
If you're doing like to an old lady and she's choking on something, you might kill her doing that.
post malone
Yeah.
unidentified
Ugh.
joe rogan
Imagine your Nana.
She spits out the meat, but you killed her by giving her the Heimlich.
Fuck.
post malone
That's an insane situation.
joe rogan
Fuck.
unidentified
Jesus Christ.
post malone
That has to happen.
joe rogan
Has to have happened.
Yeah.
post malone
How long can a human hold their breath?
joe rogan
Minutes.
Those free divers, they can do like seven minutes, I think.
post malone
That's a lie.
joe rogan
No, no, no.
They can do it.
post malone
Seven minutes?
joe rogan
Yeah, people have done more than that, but they've done it with weird oxygen assist things.
post malone
Criss Angel?
joe rogan
Not Criss Angel, but David Blaine.
He did some crazy number of minutes, but he did something to himself first, right?
It wasn't just...
Do you know what he did, Jamie?
jamie vernon
When we were doing the podcast the other day, I was trying to look into it.
He...
I believe he just over oxygenated his body.
joe rogan
Somehow or another.
jamie vernon
I believe, yeah, by just breathing it in and then not moving at all, so he didn't use any of it.
But he did like 17 minutes or something like that.
joe rogan
Yeah, something bonkers like that.
No shit.
17 minutes is like almost a TV show.
post malone
Yeah, that's an episode of Modern Family.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think it's 22 minutes from Modern Family.
Yeah, because of ads.
That's nuts.
That's a long fucking time to hold your breath, David.
post malone
So how do you over-oxygenate, Jake?
jamie vernon
He has a TED talk about it, I'm sure.
He probably explained a lot of it, but he had to get his heart rate down.
He did it once in It didn't work, and he panicked.
They had to go and save him.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus.
jamie vernon
It was a whole thing because it wasn't easy to get in there towards the thing he did it, but he did it again.
joe rogan
There's just something about a dude like him that's willing to do shit that you would be like, wait, why are you even doing this?
How can you do it?
And why are you doing this?
Remember when he was encased in ice?
post malone
Mm-mm.
joe rogan
Yeah, he was encased in ice for a long-ass time.
post malone
It's a good angle.
joe rogan
How long was he encased in ice for?
I want to say more than 24 hours.
jamie vernon
I think it was a long time because there was one thing he did in New York City where people could come up and see him.
unidentified
He was in a water tank.
joe rogan
What?
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
71?
post malone
What's in the box?
joe rogan
What's in the box?
post malone
Grab me one of those motherfuckers, too.
Thanks, Dad.
Thank you, sir.
joe rogan
My pleasure.
What's in the box?
post malone
No, no, no.
joe rogan
How did he do it?
70 plus hours in frozen ice.
So this them taking him out?
Is this the end?
This was getting ready for it.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
He lived in that for 72 hours.
post malone
Lenny Kravitz?
joe rogan
Lenny Kravitz is like, how is he doing this?
I need to be there.
That's how badass it is when you just stand still for 72 hours.
Lenny Kravitz comes to visit you.
post malone
Lenny Kravitz is like, yo, this guy's fucking crazy.
I love it.
joe rogan
Lenny Kravitz lives on a farm in Brazil and he finds out that you're doing some crazy shit in ice and he shows up.
Like, I need to see this.
I need to be there live.
jamie vernon
He's been on top of a pole for a really long time.
post malone
Of course, you know, I've seen something like this before.
I don't know if it was David Blaine, but...
Monks do it and they have a way to like slow down their metabolism so they can be up there for weeks and not eat and not drink anything.
joe rogan
What does it say about 34 hours?
jamie vernon
He stood up there for 34 hours before jumping down.
joe rogan
Oh, shut the fuck up.
He stood on that pole like that for 34 hours?
jamie vernon
80 feet.
joe rogan
Oh my god, I don't like this.
post malone
You seen him eat glass?
That's so weird.
joe rogan
That's such a weird thing to do.
post malone
Eat glass or stand on a pole?
joe rogan
All those things.
Eat glass, stand up there.
post malone
He's up there on that pole covered in ice eating glass for three years.
joe rogan
That's a different kind of person, right?
The art in that is that we know it's really hard to do and there's no way to fake it.
post malone
Right.
No, it's like...
unidentified
It's crazy.
post malone
It's not like illusion.
joe rogan
No.
post malone
It's like mental fucking fortitude.
joe rogan
Yeah.
So he does illusions too, right?
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
He's a real magician.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Magician.
But also can do that.
Like, that's just a mind.
unidentified
That's just...
joe rogan
That's a different kind of mind.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Stand there for 34 hours on a pole...
post malone
He'd probably be a good fighter.
joe rogan
He'd probably be a main fighter.
post malone
He would never tap out.
jamie vernon
Have you seen this one where he puts a live frog in his belly and spits it back out alive?
post malone
Did they x-ray him?
joe rogan
Is that an x-ray?
He has all the frogs?
jamie vernon
That's a picture for a thumbnail.
unidentified
It's clickbait!
jamie vernon
I don't think you can really take that picture.
joe rogan
Is that the sun?
Oh my god.
Imagine if they did it.
We gotta x-ray the frogs first.
Okay, okay.
I'll let them out in a couple minutes.
First they do the x-ray.
See, nothing but frogs.
No organs.
post malone
It's just frogs.
joe rogan
That's such a bad x-ray.
You look remotely real.
post malone
So your x-rays came back.
joe rogan
How come the frogs are so clear but you don't see anything else?
Oh, it's so stupid.
It's so stupid.
post malone
You ever shot the Boring Company flamethrower?
joe rogan
Yeah, we ran out of juice.
It doesn't have any juice anymore.
We've got to refill the...
What is it?
Propane?
jamie vernon
I think it's just propane.
joe rogan
Yeah, we've got to refill the propane.
post malone
Oh man, they got a fucking Rhino at the fucking gas station.
jamie vernon
They got it everywhere.
post malone
Hook that fucker up to a fucking tank.
joe rogan
I know, right?
Yeah, we just gotta hook it up.
But the thing is, it's the perfect amount of propane because it's not very big.
You know, you see the tank's very small.
Elon probably blew half of it out just showing it to me.
post malone
He's crazy.
joe rogan
Right out there in the hallway, just blowing this fire.
post malone
Fuck yeah.
joe rogan
This flamethrower.
In the middle of the hallway.
I'm like, bro!
Hi!
That's how I met him.
I met him.
unidentified
He comes in with a flamethrower.
joe rogan
Legitimately.
post malone
He's the sweetest guy.
joe rogan
Very, very nice guy.
post malone
Sweetest guy.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Hurts me to the core that him and Johnny Depp want to duke it out.
post malone
What's the beef?
joe rogan
They're both nice guys.
There was a woman involved.
You know how it is.
post malone
Oh.
joe rogan
The Amber Heard, Johnny's ex-wife, was involved with Elon, apparently, at one point in time.
So they don't like each other.
They would love each other if they knew each other.
post malone
I'm out of the game.
joe rogan
Yeah, me too.
post malone
I live in Utah.
I just...
joe rogan
I'm telling you.
post malone
There he goes, pulls it up.
Conor McGregor.
joe rogan
Conor McGregor's coach offers to train Elon Musk for a fight with Johnny Depp.
post malone
Hey, where did Conor McGregor come into this?
joe rogan
Well, which one of his coaches is that?
Is it Kavanaugh?
Because he has a bunch of coaches.
It is Kavanaugh?
unidentified
Of course he would.
joe rogan
Kavanaugh's cool.
I don't think they're going to fight though.
post malone
Is that a real thing?
joe rogan
No.
It was a joke that Elon apparently said at one point in time, maybe I should have a cage fight with him.
Like, LOL. You know, like that kind of thing.
unidentified
Because he was upset at him or something.
joe rogan
You know, that's how it comes.
What are you going to do?
post malone
I don't know.
Everybody's fighting.
joe rogan
Not everybody, but when those kind of fights happen, you're like, ah, I see what happened here.
This is not complicated math.
You know?
Two good guys.
post malone
I'm so out of the loop.
It's crazy, too.
joe rogan
Everybody's mad.
Good.
It's good to be out of the loop.
I think it's really wise that you live out there.
I really do.
post malone
I agree.
joe rogan
Because you're so wild.
For a dude like you, it's good to be in a place where you see nature and it's probably, in a way, it's balancing.
There's something about the Utah mountains too.
That's a real mountain range.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
You see that shit all the time when you drive around Utah.
It's very humbling.
post malone
It's incredible.
It's just like you're a fucking dot on the fucking entire globe.
joe rogan
Also, it's like natural art.
When you see mountains, they're natural art.
If you drive through the mountains, it's like you're seeing an art gallery.
It's beautiful to look at.
post malone
And it's free.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It does something to you.
It excites you in a weird way.
You can see a waterfall coming off the side of a mountain and everything's lush and green.
You see it go into a flowing river.
Man, that does a thing to your body.
It does a thing to your brain.
It lights everything up.
post malone
And that's the best, especially for making music.
Oh.
joe rogan
That makes sense.
post malone
Especially for making music, because it's just like, without sounding corny, it's like you feel like you're a part of something bigger, but you're so insignificant.
And then you can just say, I accept everything around me.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
And I'm relaxed and I'm at peace.
You know, knowing that you're just...
The world's spinning around you and everything happens for a reason.
And you can just sit there 100% peace, at ease, and say, I don't have to worry.
Like I said earlier, LA, always something going on.
I couldn't do it.
And it definitely affected my creative process, for sure.
joe rogan
You mean like going out?
post malone
Yeah, there's always someone hitting you up.
I don't want to speak on behalf of everyone in LA or from LA, but there's a lot of people who kind of want to drain you.
joe rogan
Well, you know what it is, man?
It's not that they want to drain you.
What it is is they're greedy.
They're concentrating on themselves.
And when they're concentrating, they're trying to make it.
They're trying to get something happening.
And they're ambitious.
And they're self-centered in that way.
And I don't mean that as a pejorative, as a negative thing.
Just they're self-centered.
So they always want from you.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
And so they're draining.
Like, and when you're successful, and you're a guy who's got a lot going on, they think there's a rub.
I gotta get to Post Malone and get that rub.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
I gotta be able to somehow or another get what he's got.
Hey man, hit me up.
Hey, hey, I'm here.
Hey, hey, hey.
Let's do that thing.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Hey, hey, hey.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, let's go out.
unidentified
Right.
Hey, hey, hey.
joe rogan
I want you to meet my friend.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Hey, hey, hey.
You're like, bro, I gotta make music.
post malone
I'm good at one thing, and that's using auto-tune to sing.
unidentified
You got to make that music.
joe rogan
I'm sick.
unidentified
Yay!
post malone
I'm sorry. - I want you to hear some of the new shit.
joe rogan
I would love to.
I would love to.
What do you listen to?
Dude, I listen to a lot of shit.
I listen to most...
It varies.
I go on streaks of listening to...
I'll get in a gang star streak.
I'll listen to a lot of classic...
Run DMC for a while, and then I'll go into some old Zeppelin, and I'll get stuck on Zeppelin for months, and then I'll transfer over to some old Johnny Cash, and I'll get into that for a while, and then I'll get into a moody mode, and I'll need some Sheryl Crow in my life.
I'll listen to You're My Favorite Mistake.
I'll get into that kind of music, man.
I get into all kinds of shit.
I go into these waves, but most of the time, if you had to come in here on a whim and say, what kind of music's playing?
It's classic rock.
Almost always.
Rat.
Zeppelin.
No!
Nothing wrong with that.
post malone
Nothing wrong with that at all.
joe rogan
There's something about the 60s and the 70s.
There's something about the fact that these guys were breaking out of this mold that society had carved for them when they were children and here they are as adults in the 1960s and they are just buck wild.
post malone
How heavy is Sabbath?
joe rogan
Very heavy.
post malone
For, like, just imagine, like, vinyl.
Like, vinyl Sabbath.
And just, like, here's this record I just picked up from the store.
Let's spin that fucker and hope my parents don't hear it.
I'm 25, by the way.
I can't.
You probably listened to Sabbath on vinyl.
joe rogan
Well, I definitely have, but I wasn't the biggest Sabbath fan.
I liked a lot of shit that was embarrassing.
I was really into Kiss when it was embarrassing.
post malone
Kiss is great!
joe rogan
I love Kiss, but when I was a kid, it was a problem.
Other kids that found out you liked KISS are like, what?
Really?
post malone
Why?
joe rogan
Oh my god, for whatever reason.
KISS got a weird...
There's a weird thing that happened with KISS. This is what's interesting.
They didn't get any radio play.
A lot of people don't know this, but when I was a kid, Kiss got no radio play.
No radio play.
I don't know if it was because of politics or people just decided they suck because they wear masks or makeup rather.
I don't know what it was.
But for whatever reason, it was really hard to hear a Kiss song on the radio.
And every now and then you would hear, I want to rock and roll all night.
And you'd be like, what?
It's on the radio?
This is crazy.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
Wanna rock and roll?
Like you'd be in your car driving that would come on you'd be so excited because you were a Kiss fan and you don't the Kiss didn't get any love and then as we got older I think people started missing it and then Kiss made like reunion tours and they came back and put the makeup on again and people got excited and and Then people that were for whatever reason not Kiss fans in the past became Kiss fans in the present, right?
But when I was in the 80s, it was like a problem.
If you love Kiss, people would mock you.
post malone
In the 80s?
Because that's like fucking Talica.
joe rogan
Yeah, that was Guns N' Roses too, man.
You know, that was, I believe Nirvana came out with Nevermind.
post malone
What was that, 89?
91?
joe rogan
Was it 91?
post malone
90?
joe rogan
That was around those years, you know?
And that just changed everything.
Like, Eddie Bravo, my friend Eddie, he's always saying, like, that's what killed hair bands.
Nirvana killed hair bands.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
It just came out.
It was so deep.
You're like, Jesus Christ.
Like, you couldn't listen.
post malone
It was fucking heavy.
joe rogan
Heavy.
Heavy.
Rape Me?
Rape Me?
post malone
Heavy.
joe rogan
Singing a song called Rape Me?
post malone
Heavy.
joe rogan
Holy shit.
post malone
It's like...
What do you even do?
joe rogan
That song is so intense.
It's like if you could take a person's emotions and their soul and figure out how to transfer it into musical notes and sounds, that's what it sounded like.
post malone
I mean, that's what it fucking is.
It's like, fuck everything and here's what I'm gonna say.
Like, here it is.
joe rogan
Wish we could play this.
God damn, he's a bad motherfucker.
post malone
Dave Grohl crushes it.
joe rogan
All of them crush it.
post malone
Kurt crushes it.
That was cool during the Nirvana thing.
Did you watch my Nirvana thing?
joe rogan
No, I didn't.
What did you do with Nirvana?
post malone
We did a whole fundraiser.
joe rogan
When was this?
post malone
This was fucking two months ago.
joe rogan
I'm out of the loop.
Since COVID, there's a lot of shit I missed on.
I missed Evil Superman.
I missed everything.
post malone
You missed Evil Superman.
You misbullied Superman.
joe rogan
I did.
I missed it all.
post malone
Yeah, so we did a whole set.
And it was cool to see Dave give his approval and Travis Barker played drums.
joe rogan
That's amazing.
post malone
It was cool to see Chris, you know.
joe rogan
Travis was the first guy to come in here with face tattoos, but you knocked it out of the park.
post malone
Well, fuck, man.
Is that a good thing?
Travis is one of the sweetest motherfuckers in the world.
joe rogan
He's so cool.
He's like a genuinely cool guy.
Really interesting, like intense.
Like as good a drummer as he is, you cannot be that good unless you got some fire inside of you.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, that dude's got fire inside of him, but he's super cool.
post malone
Yeah.
I mean...
joe rogan
But like to be that good and so fucking into it, man.
post malone
He's fucking got it.
I mean, that's the same spirit.
It's just like...
It's a spirit.
It's just like, fuck you.
I'm gonna play music.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
And this is how it's gonna be.
joe rogan
And he's a guy who likes old cars too.
I bet for the same reasons.
He's an artist.
Doesn't he have like a dope blazer?
Like a really cool custom blazer I think he has?
post malone
Probably.
He's got a lot of cool.
One day I'll be that cool.
I'm working on it.
It's hard.
joe rogan
It's hard to get that cool.
post malone
It's tough.
joe rogan
It's hard.
Travis Barker's at a high level of cool.
Because he's like a genuine human.
There it is.
Look at that thing.
God damn, that's sweet.
Holy fuck.
Look at that.
That is clean.
Who made that thing?
post malone
It's hot.
joe rogan
Travis Barker's K5 Blazer Custom SUV. Topless.
post malone
Topless, show the titties.
joe rogan
Who made that?
We should probably...
post malone
Oh, the light bar on top is gangster.
joe rogan
That's a sick car.
post malone
Yeah, that's dope.
joe rogan
It's got taste.
It's got taste.
Does it say the people who built it?
You're going to have to Google it, kid.
What is it?
Delmo Speed and Custom.
In Burbank, California.
post malone
Yeah, that's a pretty beast.
joe rogan
Car shops are considered, they're supposed to be essential businesses.
You're allowed to still work on cars.
post malone
I hope so.
joe rogan
Yeah, but that's one of the weirdest things about this pandemic is what's essential and what's not essential.
post malone
It is.
Who gets to decide?
Exactly.
joe rogan
Exactly.
Is there a vote?
post malone
Who gets to decide?
joe rogan
It's a strange amount of power.
post malone
Because it's not you and it's not me.
joe rogan
No.
It's a strange amount of power, and what's allowed to be open and what's not.
Like, they had bars were open, but then they wouldn't let comedy clubs open.
Like, that's an entertainment venue.
But then so is the Staples Center.
They're very different things.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know?
One of them can have 30 people in it.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
You know?
It's like, who gets to decide your restaurant can open because it's outside?
There's no way in hell you could figure out how to keep people apart inside.
You just did.
You did it for a while.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Like, who's making the rules?
post malone
Yeah, that's the whole...
Whenever I touched down, my friend was like, yeah, all the restaurants just...
Put some chairs and tables on the outside.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's what most of them did.
post malone
They're very smart.
joe rogan
They adapted.
A lot of them that could do that did that.
But most of them went under.
I think it's more than 50% went under.
post malone
What if you're addicted to partying?
Then a nightclub is an essential business.
joe rogan
Good point.
What do people who are addicted to partying do?
What have they been doing besides partying?
Who's it to say?
Unregulated parties at home, and that gives people coronavirus.
Don't they?
You always see that story.
Here's a story you never see.
Bunch of guys got together.
All of them got tested.
No one had coronavirus.
They partied.
They had a great time.
Nobody got hurt.
You don't see that story.
You know who's doing that story right now?
Dave Chappelle.
What Dave Chappelle's doing is testing everybody, flying everybody out to Ohio, putting on these great shows.
He has music, he has comedy, he has a good fucking time, and he does it outdoors.
Yeah, that's what he's doing.
It's a wedding chapel.
post malone
Wow.
joe rogan
So he's doing it on this stage that people get married on.
So it's like a stage with the fucking poles and the steps to get up to it.
post malone
See, that's the whole shit.
He wants to do a show.
joe rogan
He figured it out.
post malone
He wants to do a show.
He needs to do a show.
That's an essential...
joe rogan
That's an essential thing.
post malone
For him.
joe rogan
It's essential for people, too, because it's another thing that makes people feel good.
It makes them feel good.
Like, they're doing an investigation of the chain smokers.
Like the state's involved in this investigation because they did essentially a car show where they were on stage and there was like 600 cars in the audience and they did their show to people in parked cars.
Like what the fuck is wrong with that?
jamie vernon
No.
joe rogan
Why is that bad?
No?
unidentified
Oh, Jesus!
post malone
No, they were all standing around.
joe rogan
Oh, so it's supposed to be in cars and people just said, fuck it, let's get out of the cars and stand?
Play that, play that.
Let me see what that is.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
jamie vernon
This is a DJ? It's only a two-second video, so...
post malone
It depends.
unidentified
Wow.
post malone
Now, it depends on intent, I think.
joe rogan
Bro, that's a concert.
post malone
It depends on intent.
Well, are there cars there?
Was it a drive-in concert?
joe rogan
What does it say?
The crowd was estimated at $2,000 for the concert at Watermill.
Ticket prices ranged from $850 to Uber VIP options for $25,000 that accommodated RVs.
All profits were earmarked for charity.
That's nice.
The state of New York is now probing the concert.
Are they probing Looting 2 or just a concert?
Did they have...
Are they probing what happened in Soho or just...
jamie vernon
I had this story too I saw recently.
joe rogan
I just wanted to know.
I'm asking for a friend.
post malone
700 person Airbnb mansion party in New Jersey.
jamie vernon
Yeah, there's flyers going around on Twitter for it.
joe rogan
Oh my god.
jamie vernon
There's a thousand dollar prize for a twerk contest.
joe rogan
Well, it's hard to twerk.
jamie vernon
But they're saying that's like, you know, a super spreader party or whatever.
joe rogan
Of course.
Yeah.
post malone
Well, I got those fuckers that say, oh, Post Malone's here at this nightclub, and I'm not even in town.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's crazy, right?
post malone
Shit like that.
joe rogan
Yeah, and people don't get their money back, right?
People pile into the club.
post malone
It's so weird now.
I'm still curious about that.
The Chainsmokers deal.
Was it a drive-in concert?
joe rogan
Supposedly they sold cars.
They sold like 600 cars.
post malone
But that's not on them.
If the people got out of the cars.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
That's the thing.
Are you supposed to enforce that?
Here's the thing.
If they only had it set up as a concert without any enforcement whatsoever on how close people stood to each other.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Whose responsibility is it if people get out and just start talking?
jamie vernon
Right.
I guess this is what the promoter either said.
I don't know if they actually talked to them, but this is what they were supposed to have done or did do.
There were temperature checks upon entry.
joe rogan
No, he said noted that concert goers went through a temperature check upon entry, which is not good enough, really.
Offered hand sanitizer.
Hey, jerk off with this.
Once parked and had restrooms that were disinfected every ten minutes.
Oh, awesome.
Well, nine minutes he's giving people cooties, and then on the tenth some dude comes in and hoses it down.
Told BuzzFeed...
There were dividers separating individual parties in the pit area and that guests were also instructed they would not be allowed to leave their design...
jamie vernon
Well, they misspelled it.
joe rogan
Must be designated.
But it's designed.
For any reason other than to use the restroom.
But obviously that's not really what's happening.
unidentified
But wait, what?
post malone
If it's a drive-in show, why is there a pit?
joe rogan
Right.
And also, the dividers between people, that's horseshit.
The air doesn't give a shit if there's a little piece of cardboard here between you and the people next to you.
Your spit goes through the air and it gets to them.
If you got it, they got it.
post malone
And I don't think it has to do with the boys in the group.
I think it has to do with someone else.
joe rogan
What do you think it has to do with?
post malone
Because I know the boys in the group Sweet guys.
joe rogan
I don't think it's their idea.
post malone
Yeah, that's exactly what I think.
I think the total, like, it was a shit show that just got out of fucking hand.
joe rogan
Also, here's the other thing.
If you get a bunch of people in their cars drinking, and they're all able to open the door and just socialize, they're gonna do it.
And plus, before that, they're tailgating?
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
So people are tailgating before the show, so they're cooking burgers, having a good time, having drinks with each other, and then the show starts.
They're gonna get out of their car and mingle with each other.
They made new friends.
post malone
You can just pull up really close.
Just touch mirrors.
jamie vernon
I mean, there is a car, at least.
joe rogan
Oh, that's a car.
Dude, what's the problem?
jamie vernon
This article said that people that were there said that it was safe.
They swear it was safe.
joe rogan
It was safe.
post malone
The other video looked insane.
joe rogan
Well, listen, it seems safe if you get away with it and nothing happens.
If you get away with it and nothing happens, like, oh my god, it was so safe.
Trust me, it was so safe.
You get a COVID test and they find you don't have it after you go to that concert.
You go, listen, it was so safe.
It was the safest.
It was unsafe.
No one even could see it.
You don't know if someone has it.
I told you my friend Jack Carr got it.
Did a fucking book signing.
He caught it for a day.
post malone
A day?
joe rogan
Yeah, he kicked it quick.
post malone
He kicked it in a day?
joe rogan
Yeah, he said it felt like shit for one day.
Some people, that's weird, man.
unidentified
No shit.
joe rogan
My friend Michael Yeo, that's what happened to his mom.
Michael Yeo was in the hospital for a long time, man, for like weeks.
And his mom got sick for a day.
One day.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
And then she kicked it.
It's a fucking weird virus, dude.
post malone
It's wild, man.
joe rogan
It's weird.
post malone
Even coming in here, getting pricked and...
joe rogan
Did you get nervous?
post malone
Yeah, fuck yeah.
I mean, you're nervous before anything, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, for sure.
That one's a nervous one.
Like, shit, whatever I have it.
Whatever I fucking have it.
Whatever I have it.
post malone
But I don't.
joe rogan
You don't.
Yay!
It's nice to know.
post malone
I made it.
joe rogan
Nice to know.
It's a scary fucking disease, man.
post malone
I don't know, man.
It's so weird.
It's such a bizarre time.
joe rogan
Here's why it's scary.
It's scary in what it's done, no matter what.
Even if you're not scared of getting it.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Even if you think, oh, if I get it, it's just going to make me sick for a few days, I'll kick its ass.
Even if that's true, it's scary for what it's done to the economy.
It's scary for what it's done to civilization.
post malone
Honestly, it's terrifying.
And I saw...
You can get a fine for not wearing a mask.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
And sometimes it's up to 600 fucking bucks.
joe rogan
Yep.
Yeah, it's crazy.
They're arresting people for keeping gyms open.
I've seen that.
The same people that didn't arrest the looters, I think.
Is it the exact same people?
Yes.
Arresting people for opening gyms.
There's going to come a certain amount of time.
I don't know what that time is.
But here we are in August.
It's basically August.
And everything's still closed.
How long are we going to do this for?
Are we going to stay closed for a year?
Are we going to stay closed for two years?
What's going to be left?
unidentified
Nothing.
joe rogan
It's a complicated question, because you don't want people to die, and you don't want people to have diseases and get sick.
post malone
But then you have to, everybody has to live their life.
Everybody has to survive and fucking be able to pay their fucking bills and eat.
joe rogan
Exactly.
So when does that call get made?
That's what's complicated about it.
This is one of the most truly human problems we've ever faced.
Because no one really knows what the right thing to do is.
There'll be a lot of armchair quarterbacking after it's over, where people who, you know, people die, people who look back on it and say they should have done this, or they should have done that.
Well that's great.
And maybe some people had a better idea of how to handle it.
But it's just guessing.
Right now it's just guessing.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's fucking weird, dude.
post malone
It's weird to me that there is a...
It's like me in school having to fucking tuck in my shirt or else you get detention or whatever.
It's weird to be forced to wear something.
joe rogan
Right, so that's what you feel about the mask.
I see what you're saying.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
But you know that it does work, right?
That's what's weird about it.
If you wear a good mask, it actually does prevent a lot of transmission.
Apparently, that's all Japan.
Why did I say it that way?
Japan.
That's all Japan.
I was in the middle of saying Japan.
I stumbled through it some weird way.
post malone
Necrogobble.
joe rogan
Words are hard.
Sorry.
Japan, they didn't shut their economy down.
They just wore masks.
post malone
Well, I mean, that's, yeah.
joe rogan
They didn't suffer that many deaths either.
It's really weird.
I would like to see a documentary on how Japan managed COVID-19 because they did an insane job.
Maybe as good a job as anybody.
I think there's only a thousand deaths in all of Japan.
Kyle Kalinske was telling me about this.
He sent me some article.
If you can't find it, I'll send you the article.
But it's pretty crazy.
It's all in how they never shut the economy down.
They just all wore masks.
Everybody followed the rules.
And they contained it.
post malone
At the end of the day, it all comes down to respect for other people.
Sure.
joe rogan
That's what a mask is for, right?
post malone
Right.
It's not a government thing.
You shouldn't be forced to wear a mask.
But you should.
joe rogan
Wear a mask.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Yes.
Yeah, you should wear a mask because you're a good person.
post malone
Right.
And that's because I respect you as a fellow human.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
It has nothing to do with being...
600 bucks?
joe rogan
That's what it cost?
post malone
Some places, it's $600.
I saw, what is it in Beverly Hills right now?
joe rogan
What's the fine for looting?
Do they have a fine?
post malone
$300.
joe rogan
No fine for looting?
post malone
$300 for not wearing a mask in Beverly Hills.
joe rogan
You definitely should wear a mask, just so people feel better for now.
I mean, we gotta get through this together.
But I don't know about fining people for it.
And the other thing was snitching.
They were paying people to snitch on people who weren't social distancing.
That was the mayor.
Mayor of Los Angeles.
They were like, ordinarily snitches get stitches, but now snitches get rewards.
They were literally giving people money or advertising.
I don't know if they ever gave any money out.
Advertising they would give away rewards for people who turn in people who are not social distancing.
post malone
Why not just say something to the guy?
Hey, why not just say, hey, put your mask on, bub.
joe rogan
No, that's too complicated.
You're asking too much.
post malone
But then you have to, how long is the rebate?
Is it like you have to mail in your snitch information?
That's a good question.
I know, right?
joe rogan
What if they still haven't gotten paid yet and they feel like a fucking terrible person?
Like, bro, I turned you in.
I need the money to pay my rent.
Meanwhile, months later, the money still hasn't come.
But that's the fucking shit!
post malone
LA is rough, and I know.
I slept in a closet.
$300.
Because maybe someone sees you eating and you don't have a mask on and then you are stuck with a fucking ticket.
It blows my mind.
joe rogan
It's weird.
post malone
It's all about fucking the responsibility and your character, really.
joe rogan
If you snitch and they don't pay you, what do you do?
Who's gonna wanna hear you whine?
unidentified
If you snitch like, hey, I turned in with this family next door, they were having a picnic, and I never got my reward.
post malone
I don't even know how that works.
How about Lost Dogs?
Do they ever pay the cash amount that they say?
unidentified
They never find them.
joe rogan
They want them.
They never find them.
Lost dogs in L.A. Jesus Christ, that's dark.
They're coyote food most of the time in L.A. Jesus Christ, that's dark.
When I drive through my neighborhood and I see like a poodle on a sign, I just make the sign of the cross.
That's it, baby.
post malone
You don't even try.
unidentified
You don't even see it and you're like, gotta keep my eyes peeled.
joe rogan
You don't understand how many coyotes there are in my neighborhood.
I've lost 19 chickens.
I lost 19 chickens in my neighborhood.
post malone
I'll hear coyotes are fucking rough.
joe rogan
Dude, we lost them one at a time, these motherfuckers.
And then the last, I guess we had like 11 of them left after the fire.
After the big fires out here.
They burned down their chicken coop, but they were still alive.
And there was like, I think 11 of them left.
We put them in a smaller chicken coop while we had the other one reconstructed and one day the coyotes got to it.
Just destroyed it.
Tore open the chicken coop and ate all the chickens.
post malone
Through the wire?
joe rogan
Yeah, they pulled the wire off.
They pulled the wood off of it.
They're predators, man.
They're real smart.
They're devious little cunts.
post malone
Utah, they don't pay you out here.
joe rogan
For dead ones?
post malone
You get 50 bucks a year in Utah.
joe rogan
That's worth it.
The thing is you can't kill them.
When you kill them, it has the opposite effect.
What happens with coyotes is they do that roll call where they yell out, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, when one stops responding, like when one's missing.
post malone
Everybody's checking it out.
joe rogan
No, the females start growing more eggs.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
Yes, so they have more babies.
So when female coyotes are in a pack and a coyote goes missing, all of the females generate more children.
So if they would normally have like three kids, now they have six.
post malone
So it's like unlimited money.
joe rogan
Well, as long as you...
You have to kill them all.
You have to kill them all.
Because as long as you persecute them, what they do is they make more babies and they spread out.
And they're really smart.
They're in every fucking city in this country right now.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
They're weird.
post malone
They're weird little tricksters.
We got a big cat in my house.
joe rogan
How big?
post malone
Big.
joe rogan
Really?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
How big?
post malone
Big.
joe rogan
Mountain lion.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
150?
How big is he?
post malone
Bigger.
unidentified
Bigger.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Those Utah cats are big because there's so many deer up there.
post malone
It's a big fucker.
And he always comes and hangs out.
joe rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ.
post malone
Yeah, same cat.
joe rogan
Fuck him.
post malone
Big motherfucker.
joe rogan
Don't you want to shoot him right in the fucking dick?
post malone
I'm not, uh...
Creepy asshole, hanging around your house looking to eat your dog.
If I see the ears go back, that's when I'll shoot it.
joe rogan
They eat dogs.
post malone
Yeah, that's what I'm...
joe rogan
It's mostly what they do.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
They find dogs and shit, things that are easy to eat.
They're so creepy.
post malone
Well, that's the same.
I had a...
I still do...
He stays with my parents right now, but I had a micro French bulldog.
Ooh.
joe rogan
Snack.
post malone
For coyotes, especially out here, whenever I lived down here, he would go out back and we heard him all night.
It's scary stuff, man.
joe rogan
They're a weird, wild animal.
It's a small wolf that lives with people.
They're just slippery enough and small enough.
We're not worried about them.
unidentified
Yeah, right.
joe rogan
Just small enough.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Like, if there was wolves on the street everywhere, we'd be fucking terrified.
It would be like Little Red Riding Hood and shit because we would know they're going to kill your kids.
Wolves will kill your kids.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
Coyotes are just small enough that we're like, I don't think it's going to kill the kids.
I think we'll be okay.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
You let these fucking dirty twats live in your neighborhood.
post malone
You get, like, fucking three of them.
joe rogan
Killing your cats.
post malone
It's fucking insane.
joe rogan
Killing dogs.
post malone
Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Never mind.
I'm not going to say that.
They're creepy.
The commission will come after me.
I'm not saying anything.
If I see those ears, go back.
joe rogan
Yeah, well that's self-defense though.
They did a study of cats in Northern California, like outside of San Francisco.
They captured or killed some of these mountain lions and they did a content, stomach content thing of the troubled cats.
They would cause problems, eat people's cats and dogs and shit.
They found out that 50% of their diet was house pets.
Most of these mountain lions out there are just eating dogs.
That's half their diet, man.
Missing dogs.
When you think about all the people out here, if you had an aerial view of people, and all these people have dogs, there's thousands and thousands of dogs, and these cats are just stealing them out of backyards.
Just jumping in, stealing them out of backyards.
post malone
You'd never know.
joe rogan
It happens and people don't know and they don't know what to do.
They call their friends.
They put up that poster.
We're just trying to get Fluffy back.
Photos.
post malone
Cash reward.
joe rogan
We miss him.
If you find him, we have money.
We have money.
I just go, they ate him.
We're surrounded by these creepy predators.
Mountain lions no one ever sees.
They're killing multiple deer a week.
post malone
There's not a lot of cougars out here.
joe rogan
There's plenty.
post malone
Not the fun kind.
joe rogan
There's a lot of those kinds.
But there's also mountain lions.
They have them in Griffith Park.
There's a photo of one that I have out there.
post malone
I remember it.
joe rogan
Did you see the one that I have out there?
It's a famous photo of the one.
It's a huge cat that's walking in front of the Hollywood sign.
It has a big collar on it because they GPS track them.
But this fucking thing is in Griffith Park.
It's right outside.
Look at that.
That motherfucker.
That giant cat.
unidentified
Look at his arm.
post malone
That's a cool picture.
joe rogan
It's an amazing picture.
That cat is in the Hollywood Hills.
post malone
His name's Chandler.
joe rogan
That's Mikey.
He's huge.
post malone
He's massive.
joe rogan
It's so big.
I wonder what it weighs.
Isn't that one dead?
Didn't that one die?
That one's still alive?
unidentified
Fuck!
post malone
What's his real name?
joe rogan
P-22.
That's his name.
That's what they call him.
They name him numbers instead of giving him names because they don't want to feel bad when they die.
Urban Carnivores.
Look at him.
That old warrior.
Just out there eating skunks and shit.
post malone
Oh, damn.
That's a big fucker.
joe rogan
That's a big fucker.
post malone
Where was...
It was out here, too.
Like, wasn't there...
unidentified
Look at that.
joe rogan
That's in the fucking hills!
Imagine if you're hanging out with your chick, you're sitting on top of the hill, you're like, let's just get a glass of wine, just get out of the car, have a glass of wine, you see that thing coming up the hill, you're like, fuck!
post malone
Man.
joe rogan
What do you do?
What do you do?
You break the fucking wine bottle on the ground like you're in an old movie.
post malone
You're like, come on!
Fucking Revenant.
unidentified
Come on, motherfucker!
joe rogan
Yeah, like The Grey, remember?
Did you ever see that one?
That was a Liam Neeson movie.
The wolves were coming after him and he broke bottles and stuck them inside of his knuckles.
post malone
I did see that movie.
It's snowy everywhere.
I'm thinking about Leo fighting a fucking bear.
joe rogan
That was based on a real guy.
That movie was based on a real man.
post malone
He must have been a motherfucker.
I remember that.
I love how he has that cowl neck sweater.
joe rogan
Looks warm and comfy.
post malone
Most certainly.
I'm just fucking killing a pack of wolves in my fucking cowl neck.
joe rogan
Yeah, with broken airplane booze bottles shoved in between each knuckle.
Didn't he have in each knuckle?
Yeah, that's what he had.
He made like a...
Makeshift brass knuckles.
He's got a knife.
He's ready to go to the death with these wolves.
That'll take three seconds.
Congratulations on your shitty decision-making.
post malone
Gaff tape, AirPods.
Climb a tree, bro.
joe rogan
Climb a tree and wait.
post malone
Okay?
joe rogan
Fucking David Blaine can stand still for 38 hours.
You can't get up in a tree until these wolves get bored?
post malone
That's true.
joe rogan
Wolves can't climb trees, motherfucker.
Climb a tree.
post malone
But do they get bored?
joe rogan
We'll find out.
We'll find out.
post malone
How long do you wait for them fuckers to get bored?
joe rogan
Well, it's one of two decisions.
Either you find out how long they get bored and you go where they can't go, or you fight them to the death and that takes three seconds.
You have two choices.
post malone
You gotta fight the biggest one.
joe rogan
Bro, they're gonna tear your hamstrings apart.
post malone
No, you gotta fight the biggest one, because once you fight the biggest one, they're gonna think you're the leader of the pack now.
joe rogan
The first thing they're gonna do is they're gonna send some little bitch-ass wolves, because it's all it needs to kill you, and they're gonna eat you asshole first.
unidentified
I would love to see a little bitch-ass wolf try to beat my ass.
post malone
I would love that.
No shot in hell.
unidentified
Any bitch-ass wolf is kicking my ass.
post malone
I want to fight your king.
Take me to your leader.
joe rogan
But getting killed by wolves is probably one of the worst ways to go.
Because it takes a while.
post malone
What about acid?
joe rogan
That would be bad, too.
That would be bad.
There's something terrible about knowing that something's killing you to eat you, though.
You know?
Like wolves killing you to eat you.
Like, you're looking at them like, ah!
unidentified
And then ripping apart your chest.
joe rogan
So I'm extra terrifying about that.
post malone
You could give them a fucking kick.
unidentified
You could just kick the wolves into fucking oblivion.
joe rogan
Nonsense.
Nonsense.
Think about what wolves can do.
They're 150 pounds, they can run 35 miles an hour, and they can do it for all day.
They go all day.
They're made out of wire.
If you grabbed ahold of a wolf, they don't even feel like an animal.
post malone
Get them in the clinch.
Get them in the clinch.
unidentified
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Good move.
post malone
What are they going to do if they can't bite you?
They'll claw you.
Yeah, that's pretty rough.
joe rogan
I'm going to do some Tai Chi on them.
Sidestep.
unidentified
Imagine if mice took jiu-jitsu.
joe rogan
They could keep that fucking centipede from eating their brain first.
What a weird world nature is, man.
It's terrifying.
post malone
Yeah, for sure.
joe rogan
It's just one thing eating another thing, getting eaten by a third thing, and then what's more terrifying about that centipede eating the mouse?
The fact that a centipede does that and eats a mouse brain first, or the fact that people set it up and filmed it Knowing how it was going to go down and wanting to show people what happens when a centipede meets a mouse.
So they left this mouse in this total unnatural environment.
If that mouse was out in the wild, centipede probably rarely gets a hold of a mouse like that.
post malone
Right?
Mouse is faster.
joe rogan
Fast as fuck.
post malone
And he knows jujitsu.
joe rogan
Like, that centipede, like, go back to that video with the centipede and the mouse.
post malone
No, no, don't go back to the video.
joe rogan
Did the mouse have a chance of getting away in a real-world environment?
jamie vernon
They were in an aquarium.
joe rogan
Right.
But it's not a real-world environment.
But in a real-world environment, if the mouse had a chance to scramble, do you think he could have got away?
Because that's the thing.
It's like, is that a fair fight?
Like, if a big guy is trying to chase down a small, fast guy in a large area, it's not going to happen.
He's not going to catch him.
post malone
No.
joe rogan
But if you leave him in a tiny little room, then they can grab him.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's kind of what happened there.
That's an unnatural environment.
post malone
Yeah, it's not.
jamie vernon
There we go.
post malone
It was for sport.
jamie vernon
National Geographic got a different version of this.
This is a grasshopper mouse.
This is a little more of a fight.
joe rogan
Oh, those are vicious little mice.
Look at them, they're going to war.
post malone
Yeah, fuck yeah.
joe rogan
Oh my god, the mouse is attacking them and biting it and then jumping away.
jamie vernon
Again, this is lit very well, and it might be set up.
joe rogan
You're right.
jamie vernon
But, because I don't know how you get cameras so good to capture all this.
post malone
I think the creepiest part of the whole deal is his legs.
joe rogan
Dude, I'm glad you think like you do, Jamie, because you're right.
This is probably more murder porn.
Oh, we got it.
Mouse wins this one.
post malone
Yo, that's my fucking dog.
joe rogan
Oh, bite your fucking head off, bitch.
jamie vernon
Mouse wins.
joe rogan
Bite your fucking head off.
Look at him.
Oh, and then he gets to eat him.
Oh, yeah.
post malone
Asshole first.
joe rogan
That's what they do.
That's where the flavor is.
Asshole first.
Look at him.
post malone
You don't need ass.
joe rogan
That's a different kind of mouse, though, than those little bitch-ass lab mice that they threw in that aquarium.
Those little lab mice.
post malone
Can we watch a snake and a mongoose fight?
No.
joe rogan
Mongoose beat the snake, too.
post malone
They're fast.
Yeah, Mongoose is the best bike.
joe rogan
Here we go.
post malone
As a kid.
joe rogan
What is this?
Pocket mice like to snack on centipedes late at night.
Oh, this is a different mouse.
Oh, shit.
post malone
But not this night.
joe rogan
Oh, we clipped them.
Not on this night.
Oh, so this night the centipede wins?
Oh my god, I poked him.
Look at that.
He hurls himself at the mouse.
Oh my god, the mouse ran off.
It's like, this is bullshit.
You gotta think, man, if you're going to war...
post malone
That's cool looking.
joe rogan
What is that?
Kung Fu mantis?
Holy shit, that's a real thing?
Okay, now imagine that, the size of a horse, running down Central Park, taking out people.
We're so lucky!
unidentified
We're so lucky they're itty bitty tiny things.
post malone
Right?
No.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, for sure, dude.
post malone
That's my boy.
joe rogan
Bullets would be just bouncing off that thing.
post malone
You think about that existential exoskeleton.
If the size, you can crush it and you hear the crunch, but at a larger scale, it's probably bulletproof.
joe rogan
Yeah, you ain't crunching shit.
Have you got a big one?
The size of a horse?
Look at that thing!
post malone
That's beautiful.
joe rogan
What is that, man?
What is it called?
jamie vernon
It's another kind of mantis.
I've seen there's like a lot of species of mantises.
post malone
Wait, are they?
Mantises.
jamie vernon
Manti, I don't know.
joe rogan
Ooh, Manti.
That is one of the craziest looking insects I've ever seen.
That's beautiful.
post malone
Wait, are they going to fight?
joe rogan
It looks like they're going to war.
post malone
Or are they friends?
joe rogan
Back up a little bit so I can see the kung fu mantis go through his kung fu.
Because he actually does do kung fu.
When you saw the moves that the mantis makes, when he sees the other...
Wow, look at that mantis.
post malone
They're both beautiful.
joe rogan
They are.
God, it's amazing.
But the fact that that little one...
Oh, he got snatched up, son.
Welcome to the jungle.
post malone
How fast?
joe rogan
We got fun and games.
post malone
Yeah, that's it.
It's game over.
joe rogan
Oh, that's a wrap, bitch!
Size does matter!
post malone
And he's like, I'm gonna eat you!
That's great!
joe rogan
You know what this is?
This is like real kung fu.
post malone
Imagine!
joe rogan
Like you think you have power over the larger opponent, but only so much.
jamie vernon
There's one too, it's a different kind, hanging upside down.
joe rogan
Well, is he...
Oh, that's a different mantis.
jamie vernon
They must be at the mantis zoo.
Capturing like...
joe rogan
This is a jumping spider.
That's what it's called?
jamie vernon
No, there is a picture of a spider in here somewhere.
joe rogan
Look at that mantis.
How many fucking mantises are there?
post malone
Manti.
joe rogan
Manti.
Manti-see.
post malone
Imagine being a bear and being in a river.
joe rogan
Okay.
post malone
Grabbing a fish and eating it alive.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Probably feels amazing.
Probably tastes so good.
You're hungry.
Never know where your next meal's gonna come from.
post malone
Probably doesn't.
joe rogan
Just biting into a salmon.
post malone
Just imagine, okay, imagine being a big mantis and picking up a little mantis.
joe rogan
And eating him.
post malone
And eating him alive.
joe rogan
Right in front of his friends.
Look at that thing.
post malone
Right in front of his friends.
joe rogan
Fuck you and your whole neighborhood.
unidentified
I'm eating your friends.
I mean, he's enormous.
joe rogan
That's like a, it's almost like, it's like a giraffe eating a person, right?
unidentified
Is it?
joe rogan
As big as he is?
unidentified
Can we pull up the grasshopper eating a carrot?
joe rogan
Look at that one!
Look at that one!
What is that called?
jamie vernon
Ghost.
It's a ghost of real.
joe rogan
That is so crazy.
A ghost mantis.
post malone
Is he on a green bean?
joe rogan
He's on a leaf.
post malone
Oh, I thought he was on a big green bean.
joe rogan
What a trick.
post malone
What's your favorite vegetable?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
post malone
Is it green beans?
joe rogan
No.
post malone
Oh, that's mine.
joe rogan
I like garlic snap peas.
Those are really good.
post malone
Are they snap peas?
joe rogan
Yeah, snap peas.
post malone
With garlic on it?
joe rogan
They make them with garlic.
post malone
But what's your favorite raw vegetable?
joe rogan
Hmm.
Probably like bell peppers because they're not really a vegetable.
They're like a fruit.
post malone
It's a fruit.
joe rogan
Is it like a bell pepper, a fruit, or a vegetable?
unidentified
I think so.
joe rogan
Straight up vegetables?
I guess I like green leafy things, but I don't know if I like them or if I know they're good for you.
post malone
You try raw green beans?
joe rogan
They're pretty good.
post malone
They're the best.
joe rogan
Okay, if you've got a plate of delicious, ripe watermelon next to some bullshit-ass green beans, which one are you going to reach for?
post malone
Well, it depends on if I'm feeling fruity or if I'm feeling like...
joe rogan
Vegetably?
post malone
Vegetably.
joe rogan
Yeah.
I rarely would eat a salad if it was hot out and it was right next to cold oranges.
Perfect oranges.
You know those oranges when you pull the peel back?
It just goes away.
It just goes away.
It wants you to eat it.
You don't have to struggle.
You don't have to dig your fingernail in there.
post malone
It's like a silk garb on a beautiful lady.
joe rogan
Yes, it just drops.
And then you peel those little slices and put them in your mouth and it's just this explosion of moisture and flavor.
Fuck your green beans, bro.
post malone
Hey, eat the whole fucking pack of green beans and you can send a fucking big wolf.
I don't want to fight the little bitch-ass wolf.
joe rogan
I get it when people are starving to death, but the fact that you would ever choose Brussels sprouts over a delicious apple is ridiculous.
post malone
It's different, though.
joe rogan
But if you want good mouth flavor, the apple's the way to go.
post malone
Different textures, different flavors.
joe rogan
For sure.
I'm not arguing because I believe it.
Just seems like something to talk about.
post malone
Are ghosts real?
joe rogan
I wonder, man.
So you're friends with Zach Baggins.
He believes in them 100%, right?
post malone
It's real.
joe rogan
Okay.
But how much of that show that they do when they're like, let's go in the basement.
Look, night vision.
unidentified
What was that?
joe rogan
Cut to commercial.
How many times have they ever caught an actual ghost on their TV show?
post malone
A lot.
joe rogan
I think ghosts are probably real, but the ghosts that show up on TV are probably hacks.
post malone
It's real.
I was there.
joe rogan
Probably shitty ghosts.
post malone
Watch my episode.
joe rogan
I believe you.
That Mama movie that I was talking about, if that was real, if you see Mama at the end, at the end of the movie you get to see a real good image of Mama.
Mama's floating over this person.
If that was a real thing, and you didn't have your camera out, and it just went away, and then you had to tell people, would you even tell them?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
What would you tell them?
post malone
You wouldn't even know what to fucking tell them.
What would you say?
joe rogan
You'd probably tell a few of your friends, but you wouldn't go to it on Facebook.
You wouldn't put it on Facebook.
You wouldn't put it on Instagram.
You might tell your friends.
It's like if you saw a UFO. If I saw a UFO, legitimate UFO, I saw something I couldn't explain, I'd have to tell people here.
I'd have to.
unidentified
You've never seen a UFO? No, I don't think so.
joe rogan
I don't think so.
Nothing that really stands out.
I think I thought I saw something when I was younger, but it's not a strong enough memory.
Could have been a jet fighter, you know.
When a fighter jet flies by, you know, they do exercises all the time.
Like there was one time they launched a missile off the California coast.
I forget who, was it Edwards Air Force Base?
I forget who launched it, but it was crazy.
I was driving down Melrose, and I saw it fly across the sky, and everybody thought it was a UFO. People were pulling over.
They're like, what is that?
What is that?
People have their cameras out.
They're looking out the window.
You see this streak flying across the sky.
post malone
You remember SpaceX launch?
joe rogan
I didn't see it in the flesh.
I only saw it after the launch.
post malone
I was flipping shit.
joe rogan
That's pretty crazy.
post malone
It looked bizarre.
joe rogan
Did you see it outside?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Where did it launch from?
post malone
I have no idea.
Somewhere here.
joe rogan
Did it launch from here, Jamie?
Yeah, I just saw it online after it had done it.
jamie vernon
Vandenberg.
joe rogan
Vandenberg?
jamie vernon
Santa Barbara.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
post malone
And we looked up and it was just like, yeah, and we were like, what the fuck is that?
joe rogan
When was this?
post malone
I lived in Tarzana.
Same place I saw that...
joe rogan
2017. Oh yeah, that's right.
You know what?
I did see this.
I did see this too.
post malone
Same place I saw that big ass fucking...
joe rogan
Maybe I didn't.
I don't remember if I saw this or if I pretended I saw this.
jamie vernon
We'd have to pull it up on the podcast.
I remember that.
You might have seen it on here.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think that's it.
I think maybe I knew it was happening.
post malone
What makes something look like that?
joe rogan
I think it's the thrusters giving off fire, right?
There's fire coming out of the back end of it and it's going incredibly fast.
So it's streaking through the sky.
It's causing a disruption in all of the moisture in the atmosphere.
So, you know, you've got something that's going insanely fast with an immense amount of power.
post malone
Just burning water.
joe rogan
Just burning water vapor.
And then the condensation in the air.
Like, that's what when people get confused about.
Like, oh my god, chemtrails are real.
Look up at the sky.
When you see planes and you see those trails behind them, all that is is the heat of the engine interacting with the water vapor that's in the air, the condensation, and it creates fake clouds.
People are like, they're making clouds.
No, they are making clouds, but they're not doing it on purpose.
It's just a byproduct of jet engines.
post malone
Doesn't the Kremlin do that?
joe rogan
Definitely people do that.
post malone
Control weather.
joe rogan
There's definitely people who, not only do they control weather, in Abu Dhabi, they make it rain once a week.
They have 52 weeks of rain a year in the fucking desert.
post malone
What's it like, ions and shit?
joe rogan
It's cloud seeding.
They use, but it's a science.
Cloud seeding is 100% verified science.
They've had it forever.
And they've used it to manipulate weather in a bunch of different circumstances.
They've used it to cause rain in places, but it's like an established science.
It's like silver, the silver something, silver.
So what is the shit that they use?
post malone
Silver surfer.
joe rogan
Yeah, they impart the powers of the silver surfer.
But they do something where they spray things into the sky and it forces the clouds to coalesce, I think.
I'm doing a shitty job of explaining it.
But they know how to do it in Abu Dhabi.
Those dudes do it once a week.
Why not?
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
They're like, wouldn't it be great if it rained here once a week?
I mean, it's great here, but wouldn't it be great if it rained here once a week?
post malone
Is it bad?
joe rogan
That's a good question.
post malone
For Earth?
You can't play God.
jamie vernon
It says they fly out and add stuff to it.
post malone
Clouds?
jamie vernon
Cloud that already has little rain present.
Then they fire a salt flare into the cloud to enhance the rainfall.
joe rogan
Whoa.
jamie vernon
Yeah.
joe rogan
Clouds have two air masses.
One is updraft and one is downdraft.
unidentified
What?
joe rogan
Clouds are alive, man.
But if I was living there and someone came to me and go, hey, we have a service we offer where we can make it rain once a week.
I'd be like, oh yeah.
Once a week?
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, let's do it, man.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
Let's do it.
So they have 52 weeks of rainfall a year.
They have like once a week it rains.
52 rainfalls a year.
post malone
Everything stays moist.
joe rogan
Smart.
If you can do it, if it actually works.
post malone
But what does it do?
Is it?
What does it do?
They shoot ghosts into the clouds.
What are the long-term effects?
unidentified
It's the tears of all the dead people.
post malone
What dead people?
joe rogan
People have died in the past.
unidentified
All of them?
joe rogan
That's what it is.
You're praying for more tears.
That's what rain is.
That's why Seattle's so sad.
It's all dead people up there.
post malone
Think about weather in relation to music is interesting.
joe rogan
It is.
Yeah.
Also heroin use, right?
Weather in relation to heroin use.
Really?
Yeah, Pacific Northwest.
post malone
Heroin in general or drug use in general?
joe rogan
Drug use in general, but it appears that like the people that I've talked to that lived, particularly my friend Joey Diaz, who lived in the Pacific Northwest, he's like, man, it's something about that area where it's all heroin.
A lot of heroin up there.
And Joey, you know, he has a lot of experience with drugs.
And he lived up there for a bit.
He was like, dude, it's just a lot of heroin.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
I think it's a sadness, you know, the lack of vitamin D, lack of sunlight.
I mean, I don't think people really, truly understood how bad that was for you, to be vitamin D deficient like that, and the fact that that's the best way we get it is from the sun.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's why, like, when you're out at your place, man, and you're in Utah, those clear skies, and you just fucking, just close your eyes and face towards the sun, you feel it on your face, like, oh, it's nice, man.
That's a love hug from the universe.
The fireball in the sky makes you vitamins.
post malone
The fireball in the sky is making me vitamins.
joe rogan
The fireball in the sky makes you vitamins.
That's what it is.
post malone
It's crazy.
It is crazy.
But even in Utah, even during the winter times, it's super overcast and snowing and shit, but you still get that same kind of vibe.
But maybe that's because you experience the warmth.
joe rogan
Utah's not overcast like the Pacific Northwest is, though.
post malone
It's like London, too.
It's like the fog.
It's heavy and it's dense.
joe rogan
There's something about that kind of shit that it's fun for a while, but after a while it wears on you.
post malone
Every day.
Every day over and over.
joe rogan
The dudes that I know that sustain it, they seem weary.
You know, my friends that I know from the Pacific Northwest, there's something about them, there's a weariness to them that concerns me.
Even the healthy ones, they don't, they seem weary.
I mean, maybe this is obviously just the people that I know, but there's something about them, man.
I just think we need sunlight.
It's good for people.
It feels good.
That's why you like to go on vacation.
You don't have to live where it's dreary.
If you look at the biggest political upheavals, these protests that are getting crazy where they're trying to burn down courthouses and shit, it's Seattle and Portland are the craziest.
Seattle and Portland are way wilder.
Seattle, they took over six blocks of the town.
Set up their own government.
Put up their own borders.
Use their own security in place of the police.
They wouldn't let people in.
I mean, they wouldn't let the police in.
They were there for weeks like that.
That's not happening anywhere where it's sunny out.
I think it's more likely to take place there.
post malone
It's fucking celestial, I suppose.
Like, human behavior is...
Kind of fucking out of our control and all lies within the environment, I guess.
joe rogan
I guess that's not totally accurate, though, because it really did fuck up L.A., too.
L.A. went pretty goddamn crazy.
post malone
I wasn't here.
joe rogan
L.A. seems to have calmed down, at least a little bit, whereas it only seems to have ramped up more in the Pacific Northwest.
But goddamn, it's beautiful up there in the summer.
post malone
I'm a nut for pine trees.
joe rogan
Pine trees?
Just like looking at them?
post malone
They're incredible.
And they smell good.
joe rogan
They do smell good.
Yeah.
post malone
You wake up in the morning and even, that's why, like, I don't know if I could live there, but, like, being in the Northwest, the Pacific Northwest is, waking up there is special.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
It does feel different.
It's like there's like a certain smell in the air.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's nature.
It's real nature.
You know, it's unmolested nature.
What you're smelling is the same thing that people smelled if they lived there a thousand years ago.
post malone
Yeah.
In Utah, there's smog.
Especially in Salt Lake.
Smog gets heavy.
But where I'm at, it's not so bad.
But you can see it, like, sunrise, you can see it all.
That sucks.
joe rogan
Ellie gets it bad.
That was one of the craziest things about COVID, is when the lockdown hit and people weren't driving, the air quality's never been better.
Like, Los Angeles air quality is amazing.
People are like, go outside, breathe the air.
This is crazy.
post malone
Do you think that makes a difference?
joe rogan
Oh, it makes a huge difference.
If cars aren't driving, it makes a huge difference.
It's probably a big part of the problem here.
And that's also gonna be a good argument for electric cars, and it's also gonna be a good argument for autonomous vehicles.
Less fires and accidents and shit.
post malone
Where are you from?
joe rogan
I was born in New Jersey and mostly grew up in Boston.
Yeah, but I lived out here for a while.
I lived in California when I was a little kid.
post malone
You're not a Pats fan, are you?
joe rogan
I don't like sports.
post malone
Sports are whack.
joe rogan
I don't know anything about them.
I'm a professional sports commentator who doesn't know the rules to sports.
I appreciate the athletes.
I appreciate what they do.
I enjoy watching Michael Jordan highlights or Kobe Bryant highlights or something like that.
Or football players who do crazy shit.
I love watching them, but...
post malone
Dallas Cowboys.
joe rogan
It's not because it's not exciting.
I've watched Super Bowls before.
They're fucking exciting.
But there's only so much time in a day.
And my schedule's full.
I'm full up with shit I'm interested in.
I can't get into...
I can't just start following the NBA, try to figure out all the games.
Or Major League Baseball.
Oh, well, there's the National League, and then there's the fucking American League.
Like, what?
post malone
I don't know how baseball works.
They play so many damn games.
joe rogan
They play so many games.
Then who's in the playoffs and why?
post malone
It's like, what's happening here?
joe rogan
But it gives people a lot of fucking entertainment, man.
If you're bored, you know, like for a lot of folks that are stuck in a shitty job, just like we were talking about driving that 68 Charger or a 68 Camaro to work, for a lot of dudes stuck in a job that doesn't give them any thrills, and they know they have to go...
They have to be up in the morning.
They don't have time for anything other than watching something.
And they can watch a basketball game and get very invested in the fact that they want their team to win or watch a football game or a baseball game.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
They get invested!
Come on, Patriots!
post malone
No, come on.
Let me crack this up.
unidentified
What do you got?
joe rogan
What do you got there?
Oh, shit.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Dallas.
post malone
Cowboys.
unidentified
Yeah, Dallas.
post malone
He's a Cowboys fan, I can tell.
joe rogan
Jamie's from Columbus, Ohio.
jamie vernon
Got some good Buckeyes on the Cowboys.
joe rogan
Yeah, of course.
Everything comes out of Ohio.
There's something weird about Ohio.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Football's an awesome sport.
I wish it didn't fuck people's brains up as much, but that's just how it is with everything.
post malone
Everything.
joe rogan
Everything dangerous, everything risky, you run the risk of getting injured.
I just hope they figure out a way to fix brains, you know?
post malone
Fix brains or fix helmets.
joe rogan
I don't think that's gonna help.
When you see some of these guys, the speed that they run at each other and they're colliding The fucking physical strength that these people have.
post malone
I watched Zeke run.
I watched Zeke run and I see this...
Zeke just takes a fucking hit.
Fucking top.
And I'm like...
Are you okay?
And then he gets right up and does it again.
It's...
It's like so much respect to fucking...
To fighters, to...
Fucking football players, basketball players, everybody.
joe rogan
Absolutely.
They all deserve a lot of respect, but there's just a danger to football, I think, that's not in as many other...
This is just my looking at it.
There's a real danger to fighting, there's no doubt.
But in fighting, there's a person in front of you, and they're trying to do stuff to you, and you should know how to avoid it, and if you don't, that's just how the game works.
But in football, there's like dudes running at each other.
I mean, you're gonna get hit.
post malone
Yeah, 20 miles an hour.
joe rogan
They're going so fast.
They're so strong.
And they're running at you.
And you're running, and they're running, and it's boom!
post malone
What about rugby?
What about rugby?
joe rogan
There's something pure about that, right?
Because they don't have the pads.
I don't think people would attack the way they attack now if there was no pads.
That's an argument for football that's a weird argument, right?
Make them play with no helmets and see how they play.
Yikes!
jamie vernon
I was looking at this one time.
I think the football protection started from different injuries.
Brain injuries were obviously never a worry.
Spinal injuries are huge in rugby, and they were big in football before, too.
unidentified
The neck injuries were what they were trying to prevent for a long, long time.
post malone
Spine injuries.
joe rogan
That makes sense.
jamie vernon
People get paralyzed, and you show that on TV. It's scary as all shit.
post malone
That makes sense.
joe rogan
Nobody wants to play anymore.
post malone
Wow.
joe rogan
So what do you risk?
Do you risk that or the brain damage?
post malone
But that, I don't know, because there's people who are so passionate about it.
joe rogan
100%.
Yeah.
I would never say they shouldn't be able to do it.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
But people should know what it is.
You know, when you're playing it.
post malone
What was the movie that Will Smith did?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Concussion.
post malone
Concussion.
joe rogan
That was based on an actual doctor.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
I figured out what was going on.
It's a fucking amazing sport though.
When you're watching crazy shit happen on the field, you're like, I need to be there and see one live.
Because that's probably when you really get an understanding about fast and moving.
unidentified
We'll go to AT&T. Biggest stadium in the world, right?
post malone
That's so God can watch.
The roof opens so God can watch.
joe rogan
Are you allowed to be there live?
No, not yet.
jamie vernon
Will you be?
Ohio Stadium is saying they're going to have 20% capacity.
I don't know how much those tickets are going to be, how rare they'll be or whatever, but people probably will be able to be in person at football games if they happen.
A limited number of people.
joe rogan
God, that's so weird.
post malone
You know what was bizarre, too, watching the last UFC... No one in the fucking audience.
joe rogan
Strange, right?
post malone
And you get to hear those fuckers getting, like, fucking just cracked on the head.
joe rogan
Dude.
There's something very exciting about it, man.
There's something I almost like about it more, watching it that way.
post malone
Yeah.
It's kind of like you're more there.
joe rogan
Well, it's just, there's no denying that, like, a big crowd, an awesome crowd, like a Conor McGregor crowd is crazy.
It's a spectacle to see.
You know, we're seeing all those people screaming and cheering, and I remember he had Sinead O'Connor sing for him.
I was like, holy shit, man.
There's, like, green smoke in the air and everything.
Like, it was amazing, and everybody's going crazy when Conor makes his way to the cage.
post malone
Everybody's going crazy.
joe rogan
It's just the energy in the room is undeniable.
I mean, it's amazing.
But there's also something amazing about these two dudes in front of each other where there's no crowd.
post malone
No one around.
joe rogan
And you hear everything.
You hear all the impacts.
You hear them breathing.
You hear them talking shit to each other.
post malone
The coaches, the corners and everybody.
joe rogan
You hear everything.
It's so different, man.
It almost makes you think that this is really kind of the best way to do it.
I want people to be able to see it live, for sure.
But there's something about...
There's a purity to no audience.
I'm saying this from a real selfish place, right?
Because I get to be there.
And I get it.
If they could open it up and it would be safe and everybody could sell tickets, I 100% would want the audience to be full.
Don't get me wrong.
But there's something about when you're there and there's no audience.
First of all, you feel very lucky.
I feel very, very lucky to be there.
Like, man, there's only 10 people in the room watching Tyron Woodley vs.
Gilbert Burns.
10 people.
And I'm one of these 10 people calling this shit.
That's crazy.
But then there's also nothing influencing.
It's just the fight, man.
There's no roar of the crowd.
There's nothing.
Nothing.
It's just the fight.
And when it's just a fight, man, you see it break.
It's so clean.
You see it all break down more.
post malone
And how much does that affect performance?
unidentified
I wonder.
post malone
I'm asking you.
joe rogan
I wonder.
I think people vary.
I think some people feed off the crowd, and they love it, and they love the pressure, and then some people, they're better off if there's no crowd.
Some people probably fight better.
It's almost like a sparring session in an empty gym.
You know, there's no one there.
Sometimes the physical people in front of you, like just 20,000 people, screaming and cheering for George St. Pierre, and you're like, fuck!
And you got to realize like you have to perform all these people hate you They all want you to lose and they all stand there watching you about to fight one of the you know Greatest fighters of all time if you're gonna fight George St. Pierre You gotta get your ass kicked.
post malone
Is he a nice guy?
joe rogan
He's a super nice guy.
post malone
I want him to be a nice guy.
joe rogan
He is as nice as possible.
post malone
GSP is my shit.
joe rogan
That guy's a real warrior in the best sense of the word.
Meaning, like, if you wanted to have your kid emulate someone who's a martial artist, a gentleman, a really interesting person who thinks a lot about things and treats martial arts as an art form and a discipline and a way to express himself and a way to show that he could be the best, He's as positive a human being as you're ever going to meet.
Georges St-Pierre is so positive in so many ways.
He's such a nice guy.
And undeniably one of the best fighters of all time.
post malone
Yeah, there's no fucking...
joe rogan
But such a nice guy.
People would take him for granted.
post malone
Yeah, until it's too late.
joe rogan
He's so nice you wouldn't realize this guy's a killer.
He's a fucking killer.
But when you're around him, like, he's so nice.
You can't believe he beats people up for a living.
He gets that shit out inside the cage.
post malone
I saw Anderson Silva once in London.
joe rogan
Oh yeah?
Did you see him fight?
post malone
No.
joe rogan
I just saw him at the airport.
post malone
I saw him at Heathrow.
Another super, super nice guy.
joe rogan
Anderson is so nice.
post malone
He's one of my faves.
joe rogan
He's so friendly.
post malone
Is he?
joe rogan
He's so nice.
Very, very, very nice.
I got to see Anderson when he first burst.
I was a fan of Anderson's before he made it to the UFC. He was fighting at Cage Rage in the UK. He was dominating people.
I was watching these videos online.
I was like, God damn, this guy is amazing.
I remember he fought for Pride, too.
But he was getting better.
And then it all came together for him during the years he was fighting in the UK. And that's when everybody had their eye on him.
And he beat Lee Murray, and he beat Jorge Rivera.
I mean, he was a monster.
Tony Fricklin, he hit him with this crazy elbow that he practiced.
That crazy upward step-in, upward elbow.
He was a wizard.
So when he came over to the UFC, we caught him right at his prime.
And it's arguable that prime Anderson Silva was the best martial artist ever.
It's real arguable.
When he knocked out Vitor Belfort with that front kick to the face, I mean, some of the shit that he did, man, some of the knockouts that he had, like, he had ESP. He knew where people were gonna be.
Right.
And he had knuckles waiting for him.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
When he was on, and no fighter can stay on that level for very long, the human body just breaks down.
But there's a time where Anderson was so good, I'd put him up against anybody that ever lived.
There was a time, it was a few years, where the Rich Franklin years, like Anderson was unstoppable.
post malone
Where did he fight at?
joe rogan
Where?
post malone
What did he fight at?
joe rogan
What weight?
185. It was 185. So he probably really walked around like 200 plus pounds and would cut weight to 185. So what is that, light?
That's middleweight.
He was the middleweight champion.
post malone
I would like to see John and Anderson.
joe rogan
That would have been an amazing fight in its day.
It would be not a good fight now.
post malone
Right.
joe rogan
John's in his prime and Anderson is, you know, I think...
unidentified
Right.
post malone
No, but like prime time, like...
joe rogan
It would have been interesting.
John is a big man.
post malone
I met John.
He's a sweet dude, too.
joe rogan
Super sweet guy.
John is a big man, though.
He's big.
He's from Rochester.
post malone
He's from where my grandparents live.
joe rogan
He could easily be a heavyweight.
Easily, if he wanted to.
He's one of those guys that could go easily back and forth between 205 and heavyweight if he decided to take enough time to do it.
He's fucking strong as fuck.
When you watch him grab guys and ragdoll them around, there's a weird strength to him that you see with some of these really elite grapplers.
Some of these guys, like when you see top of the food chain grapplers like Yoel Romero, there's something about grabbing people your whole life and throwing them around like Brock Lesnar.
There's grabbing people's strength.
post malone
Brock Lesnar's a fucking dog.
joe rogan
He was ridiculous.
unidentified
He was ridiculous.
Yeah.
joe rogan
Dude, he was so powerful.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That motherfucker.
post malone
It's all in these.
What are these?
joe rogan
He's everything.
Traps.
post malone
The trapezies.
unidentified
Bro, he was like 43% traps.
joe rogan
He was so strong.
unidentified
He's such a big human being, man.
joe rogan
Like that shit, man, that's grown in the lab.
That's some Viking DNA right there.
post malone
Man, that's nuts.
joe rogan
That's the lab of the sea.
Created that thing.
That's 100% Viking DNA. Have you ever wanted to know what Vikings looked like when they were terrifying?
post malone
He's fucking Brock Lesnar.
joe rogan
Yeah.
post malone
Yeah, look at those.
joe rogan
Come on, son.
post malone
Look at those motherfuckers.
joe rogan
A brass knuckle sword up the top of his chest.
post malone
Yo, that is the hardest tattoo, too.
joe rogan
Bro, it's hard as fuck.
post malone
Fucking trench knife just running up his fucking chest.
joe rogan
Doesn't it say death clutch on his back or something, too?
Google what's on his back.
He's got some crazy shit on his back, too.
post malone
Just Google Brock Lesnar's back.
joe rogan
Yeah, his back has like a skull.
Yeah, click it.
There it is.
That's his back.
post malone
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's got meat hooks.
post malone
Damn, the meat hooks.
joe rogan
Dripping zombie meat hooks.
And below it is like a demon head.
Like, okay.
post malone
I love how they put the little bit of blonde in the black and white photo.
Look at the size of him.
joe rogan
Come on, man.
That is one of the most preposterous humans that has ever existed.
post malone
I'm trying to look.
joe rogan
Come on.
post malone
It's perfect.
joe rogan
Look at the size of Brock Lesnar.
post malone
It's perfect.
joe rogan
That motherfucker was so big.
unidentified
Man.
joe rogan
The fact that this guy...
unidentified
Look at that.
joe rogan
You gotta think of all his accomplishments, because someone put a video up about him, and it showed all the shit that he did.
He won a national championship, NCAA Division I national championship in wrestling.
He went on to play for the Minnesota Vikings.
What?
Yes.
post malone
When?
joe rogan
He played.
I don't know.
He was on field.
He got a tackle.
There's a video of it.
Then he went.
It was the Minnesota Vikings, right?
He's a Minnesota guy.
jamie vernon
Training camp, yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Oh, so it was in training camp.
So it was not an official game?
jamie vernon
I don't think so.
I think it was like a training camp.
joe rogan
Like a scrimmage?
Something like that?
jamie vernon
Yeah, preseason game.
joe rogan
So, okay.
Preseason game.
So he played preseason at least for the Vikings.
post malone
Playing what?
Linebacker?
joe rogan
But it was the Vikings, right?
So he goes from there to the WWE, then he goes from the WWE to the fucking UFC Heavyweight Championship of the world.
I mean, there it is.
post malone
What?
He's jersey number 69, too.
I like his style.
That's the funny number.
joe rogan
69, bro.
You know how to do it.
unidentified
Yeah.
Yeah.
jamie vernon
Respect.
joe rogan
So you have to legitimately wonder, how does one make a human like that?
How many humans like that have ever existed?
Just all the shit that he's done!
That's fucking crazy!
Yeah, you need to crisper him before he dies.
Because if we have an army of Brock Lesnar's, bulletproof Brock Lesnar's, that's what everybody's gonna be.
post malone
Is he a nice guy?
joe rogan
A very nice guy.
Yeah, a very nice guy.
post malone
He has a beautiful smile, like a pure smile.
joe rogan
You know what he is, man?
He's a guy who wants challenges.
To do what he did when he was a WWE champion, so he's the champion of this wrestling entertainment thing, and then he goes from that into the UFC and wins the real heavyweight title and beats a legend in Randy Couture.
That's bananas.
That's crazy.
That's so rare that a guy can do so many fucking things.
Crazy.
post malone
What's his style?
What's his martial art?
joe rogan
He's a wrestler.
But he can do everything.
He can strike for sure.
He's knocked guys out.
He's got ridiculous submissions.
He crushes people's heads.
Just a huge man.
You have to be really good to beat a guy like that.
And guys have beaten him.
He got tapped by Frank Mir, got him in a leg lock, caught him, didn't really understand submissions.
Alistair Overeem beat him after he had a colon surgery.
When he was at his best, he was a terrifying guy too.
Him and Brock Lesnar is the battle of the specimens.
Have you ever seen that fight between him and Brock Lesnar?
post malone
Alistair Overeem?
joe rogan
That was the battle of the specimens.
post malone
Strong-ass motherfucker.
unidentified
He didn't even put anything into that punch, too.
joe rogan
All it has to do is land.
He's so big.
This was, you know, Randy Couture, too.
You're talking about a guy who's one of the all-time greats.
He's on the Mount Rushmore, for sure.
That's how big Brock Lesnar is.
post malone
Where's he from?
joe rogan
I talked to Randy about it afterwards.
He goes, that was a big son of a bitch.
post malone
Where's he from?
joe rogan
Brock Lesnar's from Nebraska.
post malone
No shit.
joe rogan
Yeah, but he's a viking.
Definitely.
If you got some DNA on that dude.
post malone
Oh my god.
And he's fat.
Yo, he's fast.
joe rogan
He's very fast.
Well, he's just a spectacular athlete.
I mean, you gotta deal with some crazy shit with this guy.
He's a big fella.
And again, he did lose some fights, but you gotta realize all the shit he was doing instead of fighting for so long.
If Brock Lesnar had just decided to fight from the time he left college, if he never did football, if he never fucked with anything else outside of actual fighting, and just started smashing people, oh my god.
Who knows how good he could have gotten.
Like, when he was in college, if he just embraced MMA the way he embraced wrestling, who knows?
I mean, this is when he beat Frank Mir up.
That was a particularly brutal knockout.
He was an undeniable man.
It just makes you wonder with a guy like that, like, what if he started earlier?
Because...
Within his first few fights as a professional, he won the heavyweight champion.
I think it was really early in his career.
Go to his mixed martial arts record.
How many fights he had.
post malone
That's what I wanted to ask you too.
Does that carry over?
joe rogan
Does what carry over?
post malone
Wins, losses.
That carries over from each program.
Or each...
So if it's like Bellator or anything, so you fight for Bellator and then you go to UFC. They have contracts.
joe rogan
So if you're a Bellator fighter, you would be contractually obligated to fight only for Bellator.
post malone
No, right, but do those wins from Bellator carry over to you?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah, for sure.
post malone
And that's across all...
joe rogan
Yeah, all organizations.
Yeah, it's your professional record.
And then, you know, they'll have like a Bellator record or a UFC record.
So it was his fourth fight.
Fourth fight as a professional.
He won the world title for Randy Couture.
That's crazy.
post malone
Wow.
joe rogan
Crazy.
Then he beat Frank Mir to Defendant, who's a fantastic champion.
Shane Carwin, another amazing champion.
Then he lost to Cain Velasquez and lost to Alistair.
Then he beat Mark Hunt and then he retired.
post malone
I love Mark Hunt too.
joe rogan
Mark Hunt was awesome.
post malone
I love Max Holloway.
joe rogan
He's an amazing kickboxer too.
Mark Hunt, like in K1, he was probably at his best.
He was a K1 Grand Prix champion.
You know, I mean, he really learned like the wrestling, the jiu-jitsu and all that stuff later on.
You know, when he was a kickboxer, he was one of the best alive.
He's a tank too, man.
post malone
Big guy.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's like 5'10", but he's like that wide.
post malone
Big guy.
joe rogan
Again, that's like, you know, you got your Samoan DNA, you got your Viking DNA, stout folk.
Stout folk.
We should probably end this podcast.
post malone
Just fucking fighting.
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
It's probably like, it's been how many hours?
Four hours?
Are we in four?
Jesus.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Talking up a storm, son.
post malone
Well, I had to pee.
joe rogan
I did too.
This was fun, man.
This is a ridiculous bullshit session.
post malone
It was very fun.
Yeah, what an incredible bullshit session.
joe rogan
It was really good.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the Bud Light.
Enjoyed your company.
Thanks, man.
Thanks for joining us.
post malone
No, thank you.
joe rogan
All right.
Bye, everybody.
See ya.
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