July 9, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:34:31
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Hello, Hannibal. | ||
| What's happening, man? | ||
| Good to see you, my friend. | ||
| Good to see you, too. | ||
| Last time I saw you, he was in Thailand. | ||
| It was in Thailand. | ||
| Dude, that was crazy. | ||
| That was two years ago? | ||
| 2018, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that was random. | ||
| That was very random. | ||
| That's so crazy, though. | ||
| We had dinner, hung out in Thailand. | ||
| I was like, this is wild. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was in Chiang Mai. | ||
| Chiang Mai, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I was doing Muay Thai. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| So you just decided, just up and decided, I'm going to go there by myself for several months. | ||
| Just a month. | ||
| Oh, you what, for a month? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And train Muay Thai? | ||
| Yeah, I needed to... | ||
| I needed a reset after doing tag. | ||
| I wanted to kind of just reset my brain after doing so much press because it was a lot of press and a lot of just, you know, repetition. | ||
| And so I was like, I need to go... | ||
| Do something extreme to get into a totally different zone. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Had you ever trained Muay Thai before then? | ||
| No. | ||
| I maybe took some classes. | ||
| The first day, so I went in Bangkok first. | ||
| I went to a small class. | ||
| I just went to one, and my camp was in Phuket. | ||
| And so all the gyms are outside. | ||
| So the warm-up, I was drenched in sweat in a 10-minute warm-up. | ||
| I was like, oh, this is good. | ||
| But it was... | ||
| It was dope, man. | ||
| I stayed on the camp for a little bit, so it was nice to just have that focus and live there and be there and just work out and lean into it. | ||
| It was cool. | ||
| How into it did you get? | ||
| Were you ever hitting the pads going, I think I should take a fight? | ||
| Nah, I didn't want to take a fight. | ||
| But it was some times where my kicks, I'm bowlegged, so my kicks are weird. | ||
| So doing a roundhouse, I wouldn't be able to, so my elbows... | ||
| We're decent in my knees. | ||
| And so some of the trainers, they started, that was my nickname. | ||
| It was Elbow. | ||
| Elbow! | ||
| Come on, Elbow! | ||
| But my kicks would be so weak. | ||
| They would be so weak. | ||
| It'd just hit the pad and it'd just have a pitiful sound. | ||
| It's not a thing that comes easily, especially when you're in your 30s and you're just starting to train. | ||
| Muay Thai, to move your legs like that and that kind of dexterity takes a while. | ||
| It's a slow, gradual build-up. | ||
| Yes, the hips have to be looser. | ||
| But I'm also bow-legged, so certain yoga things that I can't do or even sitting Indian style. | ||
| But you seem normal when you're walking around. | ||
| How are you bow-legged? | ||
| Because I know some dudes that are really bow-legged. | ||
| My walk is a little bit, it has a little bit to it. | ||
| And when I run, it gets really crazy. | ||
| I don't look how I think I look in my head. | ||
| While I'm walking, I think the music in my head is... | ||
| But my walk is kind of... | ||
| My walk is way weird. | ||
| I look on camera, who is that guy? | ||
| And what causes bow-leggedness? | ||
| Is it an anatomy thing? | ||
| I think it's an anatomy thing. | ||
| Let me see, stand up. | ||
| So yeah, so that my knees don't touch. | ||
| But you seem normal. | ||
| I'm not seeing anything weird. | ||
| It's not crazy, but it affects my roundhouse game. | ||
| I could help you with that. | ||
| I guarantee you. | ||
| I bet some stretches and some learning how to do it slowly. | ||
| The thing about roundhouse kicks and any kicks in general is people try to do them like fast. | ||
| You really want to learn them slow. | ||
| You want to learn, like, you got to resist the urge to try to hit things. | ||
| What you really want to do is just go through the motion, just go through the motion, just slow, and do that for a long period of time, like many, many, many weeks. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Before, these guys try to like, and then you wind up kicking up, and you put all the strain on your ligaments, your supporting leg, because you're not pivoting. | ||
| They fuck themselves. | ||
| And then it's hard to unlearn that. | ||
| See, when you learn something, if you learn it wrong, like when I used to teach, the worst students were students that learned something wrong. | ||
| You would think like, oh, I already have five years of karate and this and that, and I'm like, oh great, this should be good. | ||
| It was never good. | ||
| It was the opposite. | ||
| You're better off taking a young kid With no experience at all, they can get way better way faster because they don't have any bad habits. | ||
| Because as soon as you get nervous or as soon as you get tired, you go right back to your bad habits. | ||
| You go back to your... | ||
| So you have to relearn everything. | ||
| It was... | ||
| Seeing the kids, I went to some of the fights out there, and it's wild seeing the kids in the undercard where you're seeing seven-year-olds fighting. | ||
| This is wrong, but I got to see the main event, too, so I can't leave. | ||
| It's their culture. | ||
| It feels wrong, but it's their culture, and it's also how a lot of the families make money. | ||
| I mean, they literally send their kid off to the camp. | ||
| But I was trying to figure out... | ||
| So it's part of the culture. | ||
| It's national sport. | ||
| But it doesn't seem... | ||
| You know, you have people, it's some fighters that are legends there. | ||
| There's the equivalent to Mike Tyson or something. | ||
| And you could probably get a private with them for 400 bucks. | ||
| So what's going on with the model over there where it's been a national sport for a while, but it seems like... | ||
| The money isn't there? | ||
| Is it corruption? | ||
| Well, first of all, it's very inexpensive to go to the fights. | ||
| You know that. | ||
| Everything's inexpensive in Thailand. | ||
| Everybody's wearing flip-flops, right? | ||
| It's an interesting place. | ||
| My friend John Wayne Parr went there when he was a boy. | ||
| He was a young teenager and lived there. | ||
| Lived as a monk. | ||
| He's an Australian, multiple-time world Muay Thai champion. | ||
| And he spent a good deal of his time growing up there. | ||
| And really embrace the culture. | ||
| First of all, it's the land of smiles. | ||
| Everyone's friendly. | ||
| One of the things I noticed there, people are genuinely very friendly. | ||
| There's very little materialism there. | ||
| People are generally happy with wearing a pair of shorts. | ||
| It's never cold out, so you could wear shorts and flip-flops, and that's how everybody's walking around. | ||
| And I don't think there's a lot of money in the business. | ||
| You know, I think there's enough... | ||
| The King takes it. | ||
| The King takes it. | ||
| The King takes a lot. | ||
| Remember, we took a picture in front of The King. | ||
| We did. | ||
| We had a picture in front. | ||
| I was like, I don't know if we should post this. | ||
| Like, you and me smiling in front of a picture of The King. | ||
| Like, you might get in trouble for that. | ||
| There's weird rules over there for The King. | ||
| The King, I actually had a bit about him. | ||
| I cut it, not because I was scared, but just because it didn't fit. | ||
| It's about how he, you know, you have to stand up during the national anthem. | ||
| And they play it at certain times during the day. | ||
| And they play it before the movies. | ||
| So I went to the movies out there to see Ant-Man 2. And after the previews, the King of Thailand's hype video comes on. | ||
| And everybody has to stand up. | ||
| In the movie theater. | ||
| In the movie theater. | ||
| But it was the worst produced film. | ||
| It was a terrible video. | ||
| I've seen Instagram fitness models with better videos than the king of style. | ||
| It's like, you're the king. | ||
| Get some king-like production value. | ||
| You ain't got no top-notch editors. | ||
| I don't think Thailand's known for it. | ||
| It's like films. | ||
| He needs to get on Fiverr or something. | ||
| I don't work for Fiverr, by the way. | ||
| Maybe, what's that new one that lost all the money? | ||
| Quibi? | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| Quibi? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe get on that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You're the king! | ||
| And you're putting your stuff in a Marvel movie? | ||
| Do you see that shit with his mistress? | ||
| He had an official mistress, but she fucked up, and she got demoted, and so she had to bow down in front of him, in front of everybody. | ||
| She was talking shit. | ||
| The mistress probably wanted to be the queen. | ||
| Look at her there. | ||
| She's begging for forgiveness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The king makes mistress lie at his feet. | |
| And make her his, what does it say? | ||
| As he makes her his... | ||
| What does it say there? | ||
| That was when she was the official concubine, attended by his wife in all capitals. | ||
| But then he demoted her. | ||
| This is when she became the official concubine. | ||
| And by the way, I think that was the first time anybody had an official concubine in like 100 years. | ||
| This is the flashiest version of, I don't love that hoe! | ||
| I don't love that hoe! | ||
| I love you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look! | |
| I'll shame that bitch in front of everybody! | ||
| Look! | ||
| She had to lie down at his feet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look! | |
| Fuck you! | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like the king's the only baller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You see us? | |
| You see? | ||
| That's bonkers. | ||
| He's the only baller. | ||
| The only baller. | ||
| Everyone else is just kind of normal there. | ||
| He's marrying his wife here. | ||
| She's the same thing. | ||
| Oh, the wife had to do the same shit? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And she's pouring tea on her head? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| And other people laying down? | ||
| Are they cleaning? | ||
| Very odd. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| They seem to love him over there. | ||
| She used to be the... | ||
| She was a former... | ||
| She was a soldier? | ||
| Bodyguard. | ||
| Former bodyguard. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You take that weird hat off and come live with me. | ||
| That's a microphone cover. | ||
| Take that. | ||
| That's this. | ||
| That's this thing. | ||
| Take that hat off. | ||
| Stop chatting that stuff. | ||
| Let's go have some tea. | ||
| I did enjoy Thailand, though. | ||
| I enjoyed it a lot. | ||
| It's a good time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I went back last year. | ||
| Did you do the same thing? | ||
| Who's that guy? | ||
| Just for a little bit. | ||
| Not the... | ||
| What's going on there? | ||
| The crop top. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| The monarch even threatened to sue Facebook over the startling shots taken in 2016 by a passerby who recognized the king. | ||
| Oh, that's the king? | ||
| Yoga class. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Soul cycle. | ||
| Well, she has to wear the crazy hat and he's got to wear a sports bra? | ||
| He was in Munich. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| He's kicking it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, the laws over there are so... | ||
| People... | ||
| I saw something about... | ||
| Someone got put in jail for liking a post, making fun of the king's dog. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that too. | ||
| Just... | ||
| The next picture I saw... | ||
| Is he's in the... | ||
| So that's just how he likes to rock it. | ||
| He likes tank tops that show his belly button. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| It's cultural. | ||
| The king. | ||
| I'm the king. | ||
| Yeah, he's the king. | ||
| If I was the king of Thailand, I'd dress like that too. | ||
| What the fuck you gonna do, bitch? | ||
| Yeah, you can get in a lot of trouble for making fun of him over there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, guess we're not going back. | ||
| Well, we probably shouldn't for a couple years. | ||
| Cambodia it is. | ||
| Myanmar. | ||
| I want to go see, have you ever seen Latwe? | ||
| Do you know what that is? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's like, if you think Thai boxing is extreme, they take it another level. | ||
| Latwe, they use headbutts, and they kick you when you're down. | ||
| They do all kinds of crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah, nah. | ||
| Kicked wild down. | ||
| It's just, it looks, it's too intense. | ||
| It's intense. | ||
| We had David LaDuke, who's the king of Latwe. | ||
| He came on the podcast. | ||
| He's a wild man. | ||
| He's a wild man. | ||
| Yeah, I think about... | ||
| Oh, they're bare knuckle too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just want some cardio. | ||
| This is Let's Way. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This is how they fight. | ||
| Bare knuckles. | ||
| It's basically like Muay Thai, but way more hardcore. | ||
| See that? | ||
| You can knee a dude when he's on his way down. | ||
| It's way more hardcore. | ||
| It's like one more level of hardcore. | ||
| And headbutts. | ||
| A lot of headbutts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they basically use all the techniques of Muay Thai, but they just take it to a totally different level. | ||
| The second time I went, when I went to Koh Samoy last year, and this girl I was seeing, we go to a couple classes, and I didn't know she had done Muay Thai before, so we had a private class. | ||
| And she was lighting the bag up with the kicks. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Bow, bow, bow. | ||
| And I was like, oh. | ||
| And then I get up there with my bow-legged kicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| Then the trainer's like, come on, you can do better. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| She'd light it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bow! | |
| Bow! | ||
| I'm like, let's not do kicks. | ||
| Knees! | ||
| Elbow, elbow! | ||
| Had she fought before? | ||
| I don't think she fought, but she had trained a good amount. | ||
| It was, yeah. | ||
| She lit it up. | ||
| But she was one of those people that, I mean, you can't tell people, but I'd known her a little bit, but didn't know that. | ||
| She kept it under wraps. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Was it uncomfortable after that? | ||
| No, it wasn't uncomfortable. | ||
| It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was just like, whoa, unexpected. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| Yeah, there's something about women that can fight. | ||
| Like, ooh, that's an extra element of danger. | ||
| A woman who can fuck you up. | ||
| Like a hot chick who can fuck you up. | ||
| That's nerve-wracking. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Like, if you're a woman, like a Holly Holm, or like a, you know, world champion kickboxer woman, like, how, what kind of man do you date? | ||
| Like, you gotta date another savage. | ||
| Yeah, date a fighter. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| They can't, they can't respect regular people. | ||
| They'll fuck you up. | ||
| Unless they separate... | ||
| Nah, they probably just have to... | ||
| Unless they dominate you. | ||
| They like to hold you down, make you eat their pussy, and just grab you by the back of the head. | ||
| Sit! | ||
| Come on, motherfucker. | ||
| Shut up! | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I just jogged for 10 miles. | ||
| That kind of shit. | ||
| Drip, drip, drip. | ||
| There's probably a lot of guys who are into that, though. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Dudes are into getting kicked in the balls. | ||
| They're into all kinds of weird shit. | ||
| You can find somebody out there that's into everything. | ||
|
unidentified
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They're getting kicked... | |
| That one, that seems extreme, because it's like, what? | ||
| Have you seen the videos of guys that are into getting kicked in the balls by women? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I don't want to show it to you. | ||
| No? | ||
| I want to look it up. | ||
| They're into getting kicked in the balls and getting their balls stomped on by stilettos. | ||
| That's like a whole category of pain and torture. | ||
| All those BDSM folks, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, the stomping out seems... | ||
| I don't know what would really lead you to that zone of extremes. | ||
| Look, I love Jim Norton to death, but he likes chicks pissing on him and all kinds of crazy shit. | ||
| People are into weird stuff, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People living out there, man. | |
| People out there living, you know. | ||
| Speaking of living, I've been hearing some crazy shit about you. | ||
| And I've been hearing that you are making a move, like a very, very unusual move To a very strange place that's very unusual for a man from Chicago to just... | ||
| Up and take off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I do want to get into that. | ||
| That just reminded me that I bought some of those flamethrowers when they were selling them. | ||
| Oh, the Elon Musk one? | ||
| I bought them with the intent of reselling them, and they're in my parents' basement. | ||
| How many you got? | ||
| I think I bought four. | ||
| That's a good investment. | ||
| They're probably worth a lot of money. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I gotta go check on them. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, with this whole... | |
| You doing something crazy? | ||
| I might. | ||
| So, COVID and just kind of being cooped up, it really made me think about how, you know, the places that I've lived and what was keeping me from living elsewhere and moving internationally is because, oh, you need to be here for work. | ||
| You have to be, you know, within a couple hours of these places to either tour or film. | ||
| But now, touring is super weird. | ||
| Are you doing any touring at all? | ||
| No. | ||
| When was the last time you did stand-up? | ||
| Beginning of March. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Beginning of March in Denver. | ||
| Two weeks ago I did Houston. | ||
| How was that? | ||
| Weird. | ||
| First show was weird. | ||
| Second show was normal. | ||
| Second show was a show. | ||
| First show was like, I can't believe I'm going to do stand-up again. | ||
| Do you know Moses? | ||
| Brian Moses? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Roast Battle? | ||
| Me, Moses, and Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| We went to the Houston Improv. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| We had a good time. | ||
| It was really fun, man. | ||
| It was like the old days, but I got weirded out. | ||
| And I was like, man, I don't want to catch this shit. | ||
| Like, is this worth it? | ||
| Like, what am I doing? | ||
| And then Houston, while we were there, they got this thing that they're moving back to stage one. | ||
| So they're going back. | ||
| So they're shutting all the bars down. | ||
| Restaurants were down to 50% capacity. | ||
| And I was like, look, you know, we're not in the crowd. | ||
| You've been to Houston Improv? | ||
| Has it moved in years? | ||
| It's my first time ever. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's a nice place. | ||
| And it's got a high stage. | ||
| So you're above everybody. | ||
| It's not like they're spitting in your face. | ||
| You're above them. | ||
| Everyone was wearing masks. | ||
| So I was like, this is probably safe, but... | ||
| Afterwards, you know, it's just odd. | ||
| It was just odd. | ||
| And I was like, I don't want to get sick, and most importantly, I don't want to get anyone sick. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I was like, you know, my wife's mom lives down the street from us, and I don't... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, what if I got a guest sick? | ||
| I had a small jam session on my roof on Sunday, where initially it was supposed to be the band, handful of people, and then... | ||
| It didn't get crazy like everybody was packed. | ||
| Everybody still kept that space. | ||
| It was a reasonable setup, but with these times, it made it intense. | ||
| And I had some mushroom drink that my friend Babylon had made. | ||
| And so I had a good time. | ||
| I got on the mic a little bit, and it was cool. | ||
| And, you know, people were vibing. | ||
| Everybody was excited to be there, bands playing, different people. | ||
| And then at one point, I started looking around. | ||
| Yo, did I... Am I creating some type of super spreader situation? | ||
| Outdoors is maybe 15, 18 people, but I just started being like, oh, fuck. | ||
| I'm about to be in the goddamn news for this party. | ||
| Is somebody going to die from being it? | ||
| And it was just... | ||
| I had the worst trip ever. | ||
| Ever because of it. | ||
| Because I had never, I hadn't had any, you know, it was a new spot for me. | ||
| So I hadn't had, it was just a, it was a lot of sensory overload and just thoughts spiraling. | ||
| And my friend, one of my friends, she said, you all right? | ||
| And I was just like, I was really, I was gone, dog. | ||
| I had to take a walk around the block and it just, it was, it was terrible. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| Did I just create some type of situation where somebody could die from a fucking jam session just because I kind of got antsy about wanting to do something. | ||
| It was rough. | ||
| That was Sunday. | ||
| I had some A couple appearances or calls to do Monday, canceled those. | ||
| It was like, no on camera today. | ||
| I'm still pulling it back together. | ||
| It was bonkers, man. | ||
| Yeah, I got back. | ||
| I immediately got tested. | ||
| And when I was clean, I was like, that's it. | ||
| I'm canceling everything for a while. | ||
| Until they come up with some sort of a treatment or until herd immunity is kicked in to the point where, you know, the virus has dropped down to a very low level of viral load and people aren't getting real sick. | ||
| It's just, if everybody was healthy, I would have no worry. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I don't want unhealthy people to die, or old people to die. | ||
| It's so complicated, man. | ||
| You know, I have a few friends, I have like nine friends that have got it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And everyone's fine, but what if they weren't? | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of people that aren't. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And we were just, Jamie and I were just reading this story about, was it from the UK? Yeah. | ||
| I think it was the mirror. | ||
| All these people that they're finding that have very minimal symptoms, but then they have this brain disease. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Yeah, like some inflammation of the brain and some of them had to be on anti-psychosis medicine. | ||
| One lady, what did she saw? | ||
| Lions in her fucking house? | ||
| Yeah, a new study that warned that potentially deadly brain disorders may be a symptom of COVID-19, even in people with otherwise mild disease. | ||
| The research published today by the journal Brain looked at 40 adult patients with COVID-19 in the UK, finding that they showed symptoms of a wide range of serious brain diseases. | ||
| Many of the patients had only mild, typical COVID-19 symptoms, such as fever or respiratory issues, and for some, their neurological symptoms were the only sign that they were sick. | ||
| One 55-year-old woman with no known current or historical mental illness was admitted to a hospital with recognized COVID-19 symptoms including fever, cough, and muscle aches. | ||
| She was discharged after two weeks, having been treated with oxygen, but four days later her husband reported she was confused and behaving strangely. | ||
| She then experienced hallucinations, reporting that lions and monkeys! | ||
| She was seeing lions and monkeys in her house and became delusional and aggressive with her family and hospital staff. | ||
| She was treated with antipsychotic medication, and her symptoms improved over the course of three weeks, although the study does not confirm whether she made a full recovery. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, that's pretty bonkers right there. | ||
| This fucking disease is bonkers. | ||
| Because for some people, it ain't shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I know some people that were asymptomatic. | ||
| They went through the whole thing with nothing. | ||
| They tested positive. | ||
| They didn't feel it. | ||
| They chilled. | ||
| They just quarantined for two weeks. | ||
| They got retested. | ||
| They don't have it anymore. | ||
| They never felt anything. | ||
| And then I know other people that months later, they can't go up flights of stairs. | ||
| They're exhausted all the time. | ||
| They got no motivation. | ||
| Just everything feels... | ||
| Just the world's like they got a weight vest on everywhere they go. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck this disease. | ||
| It's flipped everything upside down, man. | ||
| That's why... | ||
| So, I've been thinking about... | ||
| Where you going? | ||
| Thinking about going to Ghana for a couple months. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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You're not going to put it on? | |
| I'm setting you up. | ||
| Show me the outfit. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| You know, this... | ||
| I actually... | ||
| I got this in... | ||
| I got this in, you know, I don't get to go nowhere, so you put on something fly every now and then. | ||
| And don't show this part. | ||
| Don't show that part. | ||
| Make sure you don't catch that in the camera. | ||
| But this is from Singapore. | ||
| A random jacket I got over the holiday. | ||
| I've been thinking about going to Ghana just because I took African ancestry tests. | ||
| Apparently I'm Ghanaian on my father's side. | ||
| And I think America is going to be... | ||
| It's very annoying now, and it's going to be pretty annoying in November. | ||
| So if I can get out of here October, at least for two, three months, just as an exploratory trip, and get a different perspective to live from, write from, work from, and just a whole different zone for a bit, and really dive in out there, I think now is the time to just shift. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah. | |
| I love the idea. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Especially now, right? | ||
| You just released a special. | ||
| It's available free on YouTube right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, like, what better way to come up with new material than live in Ghana for a few months right before the world explodes? | ||
| Because it's going to fucking explode no matter who wins, man. | ||
| I'm nervous to be here no matter who wins. | ||
| Because it's not a... | ||
| Biden is not a... | ||
| It's going to be weird because it's not something to really cheer for. | ||
| Even if the plan is for him to pass it off and step down, that's still weird. | ||
| If that's not smooth to step, hey, I'm old, I won, I'm stepping down, that's going to create a whole zone. | ||
| The only way that would ever work is if whoever his running weight was was preferable to him and everybody was excited about it. | ||
| Like someone who you would have voted for anyway. | ||
| And we don't even know who the running mate is right now, as of today, July 8th. | ||
| We don't know who that is. | ||
| But if the running mate is preferable to him and we're like, good, he's gonna be a woman, good, give it to her. | ||
| Let her run it. | ||
| If it's like that, maybe we'll be okay. | ||
| But he's not even around. | ||
| He's hiding somewhere. | ||
| He's in a basement. | ||
| I just am skeptical of him just because he was vice president as an old guy for eight years. | ||
| That means he was just jealous. | ||
| Just jealous. | ||
| One day. | ||
| One day. | ||
| That's too weird of a wait to make that move at this age. | ||
| It should be a cap. | ||
| 60 for president. | ||
| And I'm only saying 60 to be nice. | ||
| 50, 55. Well, when Reagan was president, he was the oldest president before Trump. | ||
| And then dementia. | ||
| Yeah, he wound up getting Alzheimer's, right? | ||
| Was it Alzheimer's? | ||
| I think dementia. | ||
| I'll just never forget when I was an open-miker. | ||
| It was like 1988. There was a guy named Jimmy Tingle, who was a Boston comedy legend. | ||
| He had this joke about Reagan on trial, because Reagan was on trial. | ||
| And they asked him if he ever sold arms to Iran. | ||
| And he said he couldn't remember. | ||
| And Jimmy Tingle was like, Mr. President! | ||
| If you ever sell arms to people who hate us, jot it down. | ||
| Make a note. | ||
| Put it on your refrigerator. | ||
| Yeah, you should have some type of reminder. | ||
| Yeah, he went out, and we thought he was bullshitting. | ||
| We were like, she's just pretending he doesn't remember. | ||
| But then in the end, he didn't remember anything. | ||
| Who knows if he remembered that. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| The age thing is... | ||
| There needs to be a sort of cap because why you shouldn't be... | ||
|
unidentified
|
First of all, you're... | |
| Any ambitions you have in your 70s should be private things like carpentry or music production. | ||
| It should be private. | ||
| You shouldn't have anything at 70 that has to do with the larger populace. | ||
| No. | ||
| You go knit, you go read and pursue something you wish you did when you were 32 that's not involving millions of people. | ||
| I say that, but then I was willing to vote for Bernie Sanders. | ||
| I was a Bernie Sanders supporter before he lost in the primaries. | ||
| I felt like his policies were interesting. | ||
| It would be an interesting way to shake up the country. | ||
| Let's put focus on human beings and people and communities instead of just money and Foreign interventionist wars. | ||
| I think Bernie has some interesting policies and he should just, you know, put them shits on a PDF. Is he the only one? | ||
| They can't be that good if he's the only one that can do them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, he's not the only one. | |
| Pass him off and be the advisor on the side, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just give advice, you know, guidance, be the wise sage. | ||
| The wise sage. | ||
| But at that age, you know, the travel is tough on a young, healthy person. | ||
| It's tough on us. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, when I got back from Houston, I had not done stand-up in a long time, and I was exhausted on Sunday. | ||
| I was like, fuck, man, I forgot how tiring this shit is. | ||
| Yeah, multiple, man, yeah. | ||
| Flights, getting up in the morning, all that shit. | ||
| I am very curious now that this Jelaine Maxwell guy or lady got arrested, you know, the Jeffrey Epstein's confidant. | ||
| First of all, how quick before they kill her? | ||
| Second of all, if they don't kill her, what is she gonna say and who's going down? | ||
| Because there's a lot of people going down. | ||
| It's pretty bonkers. | ||
| That could affect the election. | ||
| You think it would affect the election? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| Well, first of all, Trump used to hang out with that guy. | ||
| This picture with Melania and Trump and Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine and Fox News cut out Trump. | ||
| They edited the picture so that Trump wasn't in the picture. | ||
| And they're like, well, he made a mistake. | ||
| Like, bitch, he didn't make a mistake. | ||
| There's the picture. | ||
| They were posing, partying together. | ||
| They hung out. | ||
| I know at the end of the doc on Netflix, they said that he had all of those tapes and all of those rooms were being taped. | ||
| So I wonder if she has access to that or did they burn that? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know he had a picture of Bill Clinton in a dress in the foyer of his house? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It's a crazy picture. | ||
| Like, you are my bitch. | ||
| Because Clinton flew with him like 26 times. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's a picture. | ||
| That's a real picture that was in the foyer of his house. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| That's a real picture, man. | ||
| My friend, Eric Weinstein, has seen that picture in real life. | ||
| That's a real picture. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that's a painting. | |
| A painting, yeah. | ||
| Not a photo. | ||
| A painting. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Oh, so he made it to taunt him? | ||
| He made it to let him know, bitch, I own you. | ||
| I mean, that's what I'm at. | ||
| Look, we were friends, and then you came over to my house, and I got a painting. | ||
| Hey, Hannibal, I want to show you something. | ||
| It's you in a dress. | ||
| If you and I have been partying together and I flew you to some island and we fucked kids together, and then you came over to my house and there's a painting of you in a dress, you'd be like, what have I done? | ||
| Yeah, it just set us all on fire. | ||
| Just come in with a vest strapped up with dynamite. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't deserve to live anymore anyway for my actions. | ||
| It's so crazy because it's one of those things where you would hear about that from like the craziest conspiracy theorists. | ||
| Like, bro, there's an island. | ||
| They take all these elites and they have these underage girls on this island. | ||
| You'd be like... | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with this crazy talk. | ||
| That's crazy talk. | ||
| And then you find out, wait, it's true? | ||
| And they had scientists there and lawyers there and politicians there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| There really was an island? | ||
| Like, they had the prince? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Prince Andrew? | ||
| Prince Andrew was there? | ||
| His part was funny because they said, no, it's this picture of you. | ||
| Yeah, that is a picture of me, but... | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Yeah, he was like, I don't hug. | ||
| I'm a royal. | ||
| Royals don't hug. | ||
| He just kept it. | ||
| Yeah, that's me, but I don't know what you... | ||
| Just blank face, lie like that, and just keep it neutral. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| Did you see that interview that he did? | ||
| The full interview? | ||
| I just saw it in the doc. | ||
| Well, there's an interview with him. | ||
| I forget who the woman was that was interviewing him. | ||
| But when you're watching the interview, you're like, holy shit, why did you do this? | ||
| Like, you know that you're guilty, and you agreed to do this interview? | ||
| Like, this isn't even the cops. | ||
| This is like a reporter, and you're talking to this reporter, and you're clearly full of shit and really nervous. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| The whole thing's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, it's old money white guy confidence, man. | ||
| But it's royal confidence, right? | ||
| They also have crazy libel laws in the UK. They can get away with a lot over there, because they could sue you for all kinds of shit, and the royal family, I'm sure, is extremely litigious. | ||
| This is the whole story. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Jelaine Maxwell has allegedly secret video footage of Prince Andrew. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Pornhub, here we come. | ||
| It just seems like we're in a movie, man. | ||
| It's like the movie just keeps getting crazier and crazier. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what I've been doing just to turn my brain off? | ||
| Putting on that show The Floor is Lava on Netflix and just sound off, put music on. | ||
| Sometimes I put the Super Mario theme and it lines up and I'll play the death music when they fall into something. | ||
| It's just good to... | ||
| Zone out for a half hour, hour, and just look at something that is not intense at all. | ||
| Nonsense. | ||
| Low stakes, chill entertainment. | ||
| Just escape a little bit. | ||
| Watch people try not to fall in the lava. | ||
| Yeah, my friend Rutledge, he's the host of that. | ||
| He's a car guy. | ||
| Shout out to Rutledge. | ||
| Yeah, my kids love that show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sound off. | ||
| It's a good sound off show. | ||
| It's just red water. | ||
| It's just red. | ||
| You get it. | ||
| You don't need to hear anything they say. | ||
| I don't care about your backstory. | ||
| Oh, you're all doctors. | ||
| Okay, I get it. | ||
| I don't know what nobody sounds like. | ||
| Play some tunes. | ||
| And watch Floyd's live. | ||
| Just let it be. | ||
| Yeah, meditation is great. | ||
| Yeah, those are the kind of things that are very popular at times like this. | ||
| We want cartoons, almost. | ||
| We want things that are silly. | ||
| No stakes. | ||
| Because you can... | ||
| It's so much news, and every area has so much news right now, so if you want it, you can get it right now. | ||
| Because every state has its own individual corona situation, so you can kind of get lost in the... | ||
| I'm getting lost in the... | ||
| California and Illinois, because that's where I am, where my family is, but then it's everywhere else. | ||
| And then you kind of forget, oh yeah, Atlanta's been open for a while. | ||
| They're shooting stuff in Atlanta. | ||
| They've been shooting and filming for a month. | ||
| Oh, what's going on here? | ||
| What's going on there? | ||
| So it's just, if you... | ||
| I was able to do it earlier and kind of, oh, shut off and get off of socials at one point. | ||
| And then things got more intense, the George Floyd thing. | ||
| And then I got back in the news again, like really looking at stuff. | ||
| And yeah, I need a cleanse. | ||
| I don't think people are supposed to take in the news of the whole world. | ||
| I think it's very bad for you. | ||
| I think because most of the news you're going to get is the news of things that are dangerous. | ||
| So you're getting things that are dangerous all over the world. | ||
| So it gives you a distorted perception of the current danger around you. | ||
| You think it's everywhere. | ||
| And most of it isn't actionable where it's news you can take. | ||
| Okay, well, I'm going to do this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's just you just take it. | ||
| That's happening. | ||
| Just get scared. | ||
| So, yeah, man. | ||
| You got to figure out how to keep it mellow, man. | ||
| I watched Marble Races. | ||
| The Marblelympics? | ||
| They race marbles? | ||
| They race marbles, but the guy who sells it is the announcer. | ||
| Because he's locked in the entire time, so they created this world. | ||
| Where it's these marble, and there's different teams the same way NASCAR are different teams, and so he talks about it in such a way. | ||
| He doesn't break at all. | ||
| You know, NBA announcers, they veer off this weekend. | ||
| No, the marble guy, he holds the concept together by just like, yeah, you know, the marble races, da-da-da-da, the 12, and, you know, last week, he's talking about other races. | ||
| Last week, they beat them by.3 seconds. | ||
| How do they race marbles? | ||
| They just drop them off. | ||
| They just roll them? | ||
| They just roll them. | ||
| This is it right here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they just... | ||
| So is there cheating? | ||
| Like, what if someone oils the marbles? | ||
| Do they get arrested? | ||
| There's no humans on camera at all. | ||
| It's just one guy or a couple people off camera, marbles in the stands. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Last week tonight, John Oliver has a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's new. | |
| They've gotten big. | ||
| They've got sponsors now. | ||
| Yeah, that's happened over the past few months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| This video has a million views of marbles? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| The commentary is what... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like it's real Olympics. | |
| Qualifiers and trials and finals and... | ||
| But there's no people at all. | ||
| And look at the stands. | ||
| There's marbles in the stands. | ||
| We're losing our fucking minds. | ||
| We're losing our fucking minds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But that's been going since 2016. That's oddly compelling. | |
| There's longer ones, too. | ||
| It just shows the importance of execution over... | ||
| Ideas are important, but execution is really important, because that's top-notch execution of what could be a terrible idea in the wrong hands. | ||
| Marble races. | ||
| You give me marble races, and it's not going to be that. | ||
| Yeah, some people are designed to be a commentator for marble races. | ||
| That's their thing. | ||
| Look at this one. | ||
| It's got like a little elevator, escalator, takes you to the top, conveyor belt. | ||
| What's that, Jim? | ||
| 1.3 million views on this. | ||
| That's so crazy! | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| A bunch of people watching marbles while the world burns. | ||
| Gotta zone out, man. | ||
| Yeah, I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| So, Ghana. | ||
| Have you been before? | ||
| No, I've been to Nigeria and Kenya. | ||
| Do you know anyone over there? | ||
| I know a couple folks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Actually, what really... | |
| I told my brother I was thinking about it. | ||
| And he says, oh, one of my old friends from work is from Ghana. | ||
| Let's all have a call. | ||
| And so we get on the call and then... | ||
| I'm thinking he's going to say, oh, restaurant recommendations is just, you know, some type of fluff, kind of helpful. | ||
| But he took the trip so serious where, okay, we're going to have you meet these people if you want to work on this. | ||
| We're going to have you do this. | ||
| And so it made me take it so serious where it went from being kind of an idea to, I guess I'm doing this. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because I know it's going to be kind of... | ||
| Laid out in a real structured way. | ||
| Sometimes when I've traveled, I haven't planned thoroughly like that. | ||
| So I think it's going to be exciting, man, just to get in a whole different zone. | ||
| I'm still youngish to live in another country. | ||
| Look, you're not married and you don't have kids. | ||
| This is the time to do it. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| And you've been very smart with your money. | ||
| I know you invest in real estate, so you've got a bunch of shit going on that's making you money. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| Go. | ||
| It's the good move. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I like the idea just of doing something like that where you completely take yourself out of the normal life. | ||
| Because for a creative person, I think you can run dry, like in terms of inspiration and experiences. | ||
| I mean, obviously there's a lot of chaos around us right now, so there's a lot of things to draw from. | ||
| But something like going to Ghana. | ||
| All of my... | ||
| I've been making some music. | ||
| And so it's this show I've been doing called Smokin' at Church. | ||
| It's got James Earl and Jameel Bruner. | ||
| And it was my first time being around a group of people in a while that I didn't know. | ||
| When I got invited to the studio, it was... | ||
| Five or six people. | ||
| This is pre my mushroom rooftop party freakout. | ||
| But I get to the studio. | ||
| It was real nerve-wracking. | ||
| Like, man, it's five people in here. | ||
| Where am I going? | ||
| And it was re-socializing again. | ||
| I was like, hey, how y'all doing? | ||
| And hello. | ||
| And eventually calmed down. | ||
| I actually took a shot for the first time. | ||
| I hadn't drank since beginning of 2018, but I took a shot just to commemorate being around a group of people again. | ||
| And I hadn't drank since then. | ||
| And so I started making music with them, and that's been my one place I've been going to besides working at my spot. | ||
| I've been, you know, hanging out and then just going there. | ||
| I had three total places that I'd be... | ||
| Is anybody getting tested? | ||
| Uh, no. | ||
| I think we're just going on the, you don't seem like you dying act. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| It's been, you know, I think mostly we keep it. | ||
| Do you want to get tested? | ||
| Uh, yeah. | ||
| You want to get tested today? | ||
| I can get you tested. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I'm going to make a test right now. | ||
| I'm going to make, while we're sitting here. | ||
| You want me? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No, I'm going to schedule it right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh... | |
| So, my songs that I started coming up with, They were only about vapes because that's what was happening in the studio. | ||
| I would bring a vape, somebody stole a vape from the studio or I was smoking on nicotine vape and then it was a bad vape so it gave me the itches. | ||
| And so I got about four or five songs that are just about vaping because my experiences have been really limited right now and I haven't been digging in the past. | ||
| Maybe I need to do songs about Muay Thai. | ||
| Muay Thai tracks. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Muay Thai, I'm out here. | ||
| They call me Elbow. | ||
| You know I'm getting it. | ||
| You think you're going to beat me hell? | ||
| No, my roundhouse is whack. | ||
| But I'm about to kick you back. | ||
| Yeah, I'm lighting up the pads. | ||
| Catch me up in Chiang Mai. | ||
| I can't kick my leg high. | ||
| But the elbow hits you right in your temple. | ||
| And then you won't be nimble. | ||
| You'll be all limping. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It requires a little work, but there's something there. | ||
| Yeah, it says you got to get it out, and then you rewrite it. | ||
| Now, when you go to Ghana, do you have a plan of what you're planning on doing? | ||
| Do you want to just go there and write? | ||
| Do you want to go there and just experience life? | ||
| I think I would want to go there and work, produce, maybe even start directing out there. | ||
| Are there regular flights there? | ||
| Because a lot of places are quarantined. | ||
| I know some people that tried to go to Italy and they found out even though they're letting people back in Italy, they won't let Americans. | ||
| I think by September, I feel like, but who knows? | ||
| This world is crazy. | ||
| But there's been initiatives in Ghana that they're trying to get black Americans to come live there. | ||
| So I think the Ghanaian government would smooth out the trip. | ||
| But would it be hard to catch a flight? | ||
| How many flights are going to Ghana right now? | ||
| I'm hoping that things change in September. | ||
| I was looking at a site. | ||
| Because now there's sites like, where can you go? | ||
| So I was just looking, cabin fever web searching. | ||
| Where can I go? | ||
| And so it has each country, this world of nomad or something like that. | ||
| This is what's going on. | ||
| You can't go there. | ||
| They're only accepting private flights to certain countries. | ||
| You can fly private there. | ||
| This place, you get there, quarantine for 14 days. | ||
| So it's such a weird zone. | ||
| I thought about going... | ||
| To Newfoundland before the U.S. and Canada border was closed. | ||
| Because I started getting panicky. | ||
| And I was looking at places that had low amounts of cases. | ||
| And I saw Newfoundland. | ||
| I thought, you know what? | ||
| Maybe I'll go to Newfoundland. | ||
| And then Trudeau and Trump, they started talking about closing the border. | ||
| The Canadian U.S. border. | ||
| And I said, shit, do I? It's now or never. | ||
| Am I going to really go to Newfoundland? | ||
| Of course I didn't go. | ||
| But it was... | ||
| Newfoundland is interesting. | ||
| They're really into curling up there. | ||
| I did a show up there and I made fun of curling and people started going, hey! | ||
| They were mad. | ||
| They were mad. | ||
| You know what I think of Newfoundland? | ||
| I think of pull up this photo of Johnny Cash moose hunting in Newfoundland. | ||
| Here's another photo that we need to get turned into one of the big metal prints. | ||
| This is Johnny Cash wearing like regular clothes. | ||
| Like an old school rifle. | ||
| Like 1965 or some shit like that. | ||
| Moose hunting. | ||
| And there he is. | ||
| Hey! | ||
| Johnny Cash. | ||
| In Newfoundland. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's the photo. | ||
| That's the one. | ||
| That's the one we need. | ||
| That's the walkie-talkie. | ||
| I see a moose on the horizon. | ||
| I see the moose. | ||
| I'ma shoot it in its eyes. | ||
| Johnny motherfucking catch. | ||
| Don't try it. | ||
| I'm in Newfoundland. | ||
| Shout out to... | ||
| Man, I would have loved to meet that guy. | ||
| Is that a guitar gun? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's just a gun gun. | ||
| That's a moose head right there, son. | ||
| A lot of moose in Newfoundland. | ||
| Look at that walkie-talkie thing. | ||
| He was a baller with that thing back then. | ||
| That's like a refrigerator with an antenna. | ||
| And said a walkie. | ||
| It's Johnny. | ||
| Look at him holding on to it. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They probably use them to locate game. | ||
| Call them in. | ||
| You gotta pretend that you're a female moose that wants some dick. | ||
| That's how you call them in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You gotta go... | |
| That's the moose call? | ||
| Yeah, that's what it sounds like. | ||
| Do they slow walk or they run up? | ||
| They slow walk. | ||
| They don't trust you. | ||
| They come slowly and they make their way around. | ||
| Usually they circle. | ||
| You could call a moose in and it could take hours before it comes to you. | ||
| Like you could call a moose in and then it gets dark and you're in your tent and you hear something stomping around the tent. | ||
| It's a moose looking for pussy. | ||
| And then you gotta kill it. | ||
| Well, you really can't. | ||
| You can't see it. | ||
| In the dark in the woods, it's fucking dark. | ||
| Like, you can't really take an ethical shot unless the moon's out. | ||
| And most places have laws against that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You're not allowed to shoot at night. | ||
| Hands up! | ||
| Hands up! | ||
| That's how they sound. | ||
| That's how bad they want dick. | ||
| What's an ethical shot versus an unethical shot? | ||
| You want to have a shot that you know for certain you're going to hit the animal in the vitals and it's going to die. | ||
| If you just take a shot at an animal that's really far away and you can barely see it, that's an unethical shot. | ||
| You might hit it, but you might not. | ||
| What you really want is an animal that's standing still, broadside. | ||
| If an animal is standing straight at you, you have to hit it right here. | ||
| You have a very small, maybe a softball-sized area. | ||
| No, like a cantaloupe. | ||
| Like a cantaloupe-sized area that you can hit where the heart is. | ||
| Unless you have a rifle. | ||
| If you have a rifle, it opens up a realm of possibilities. | ||
| I'll take a frontal shot with a rifle. | ||
| But if an animal is standing broadside, then you have a very large area that you can hit. | ||
| I thought an ethical shot is when the animal makes eye contact and say, do it. | ||
| Please. | ||
| I fucking hate this life. | ||
| Do it. | ||
| These bitches are moaning. | ||
| By the time I get there, another moose is always there. | ||
| I'm depressed. | ||
| I hate my job. | ||
| And when they walk in, they make noises. | ||
| That's what the moose does. | ||
| The male moose. | ||
| The bull. | ||
| You gotta make a moose sounds mixtape, soundboard. | ||
| It's one of the few animals that anybody can make the noise. | ||
| You can't make an elk noise. | ||
| Elk noises are hard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I'm good at specific noises. | ||
| Sometimes I'll get them. | ||
| Have you ever heard of elk? | ||
| I'm no Michael Winslow, but every now and then there's a noise and I got it. | ||
| He's the only guy that's made a career out of noises. | ||
| Like if you say like a noise guy, like Michael Winslow as comedians, he's the known noise guy. | ||
| Pablo a little bit. | ||
| Okay, a little bit, yeah. | ||
| But either way, he's not doing an elk sound. | ||
| You ever heard an elk scream? | ||
| No. | ||
| Pull up a video of an elk scream. | ||
| It sounds like some Lord of the Rings shit. | ||
| It doesn't even sound like a real animal. | ||
| When you hear them in real life, it gives you goosebumps. | ||
| It's like, holy fuck. | ||
| If you didn't know what was making this sound, you would think there were demons in the woods. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Have you heard them scream like this? | ||
| When they scream, it's the bulls. | ||
| They're screaming to let the cows know what's up and to let the other bulls know to step the fuck back. | ||
| So I'll back off of the mic for my... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's a tough one. | ||
| Yeah, you ain't gonna do that one. | ||
| You need a tube. | ||
| You need like a Phelps Elk call. | ||
| Yeah, Phelps, that's a hand sanitizer. | ||
| If I drink a hand sanitizer? | ||
| You'll get drunk. | ||
| You'll be like Kitty Dukakis. | ||
| You don't want that shit. | ||
| This video says they're actually making two sounds at once, which is already hard enough for us to do. | ||
| But it's a whistle with a roar. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| And then the females have a different sound. | ||
| They're like... | ||
| Come get some pussy. | ||
| I can't do the noise of the female either. | ||
| Female's like a mew. | ||
| It's a weird sort of noise. | ||
| Point is, they make crazy noises. | ||
| I don't even know how the fuck we got on this. | ||
| Johnny Cash. | ||
| Johnny Cash hunting. | ||
| Newfoundland. | ||
| Johnny Cash. | ||
|
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|
Moose. | |
| The noises, soundboard, and then you said making the app. | ||
| You said you're gonna get the app going with the Joe Rogan moose soundboard, and you're gonna get it. | ||
| Apps are expensive. | ||
| I don't think there's a lot of value in a soundboard with animal noises. | ||
| Sometimes you just gotta do it for the love of the game, man. | ||
| It ain't about turning a profit every time, man. | ||
| You take some L's for fun! | ||
| I wish it was easier to make an app. | ||
| I've looked into having apps made. | ||
| It's fucking complicated. | ||
| You ever made an app? | ||
| Or had an app made? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| I haven't had one made. | ||
| It's complicated. | ||
| Uh, yeah, you gotta, I mean, I guess you gotta get some people. | ||
| I'm thinking about having a game made. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What kind? | ||
| Just, uh, on Roblox. | ||
| Oh no, my kids are addicted to that fucking game. | ||
| Just a game made based on the comedy special, loosely. | ||
| Oh, like all the subjects that you talk about in the comedy special? | ||
| I'm not sure about all, but maybe finding one angle of it and then stretching that out. | ||
| Like the arrest story? | ||
| The arrest story, maybe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| And having it be in a game. | ||
| That could work. | ||
| Jamie told me that it was Grand Theft Auto. | ||
| They have places you can go. | ||
| You can watch a comedy show, right? | ||
| Wasn't that? | ||
| Yeah, for sure, yeah. | ||
| I haven't played it since they've expanded it in the last two years. | ||
| That game came out ten years ago now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Which is pretty crazy. | ||
| No, the one in New York, they had that laugh factory that was in Times Square, was on the game, and Cat Williams was on there, and I think Patrice was in the comedy club. | ||
| And you could just go in there and watch them do stand-up. | ||
| Or Patrice was on the radio, but Patrice was definitely on there. | ||
| Yeah, you could just go in there and watch them perform. | ||
| I think J.B. Smoove... | ||
| It was on the radio, too. | ||
| Grand Theft Auto. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
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|
That's his real intro, too. | |
| Wow. | ||
| And this is 10-year-old graphics, too. | ||
| If they did this today, that's hilarious. | ||
| They even mimic the way he walks. | ||
| He probably did MoCat. | ||
| But look, it's a socially distanced crowd. | ||
| They didn't, you know, it's probably complicated in terms of animation to fill the crowd up. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Yeah, it's a shitty animation though. | ||
| Yeah, I think they had a TV or something you could just sit and let go and this might have been like a show on it or something like that. | ||
| How strange. | ||
| Split Sides Comedy Club. | ||
| Yeah, but the animation they have now, there's a new video that's out now that's got the new Unreal Engine, and we played it on here. | ||
| It doesn't even look like a video game. | ||
| When people walk, little specks of dust kick up from their feet touching the dirt. | ||
| What game? | ||
|
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|
It was basically like a... | |
| It was just a concept, but they kind of showed like a Tomb Raider-ish. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| You can look at this screen, too, if you want to face forward. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This shows you what all the pixels are, but this is what it looks like. | ||
| I mean, what the fuck, man? | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| That looks so amazing. | ||
| Unreal Engine 3, is that what it is, Jamie? | ||
| Five. | ||
| Five now. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is fucking crazy. | ||
| So if they did that and did like you doing stand-up, they could literally get it to the point where it looks like you doing stand-up now. | ||
| Like her movement's a little odd, right? | ||
| They call that the uncanny valley, the difference between reality and like obvious bullshit. | ||
| It's like it gets real close to reality. | ||
| It makes you feel weird watching it. | ||
| Because your brain is going, am I watching bullshit or is this a real person? | ||
| God damn, that's amazing! | ||
| Like look at the graphics! | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| I dove heavy into the gaming when quarantine started. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| I played a lot of NBA 2K. And I played more than I've played in a long time because it was just... | ||
| Now I had no sleep schedule. | ||
| I was playing for 12 hours straight sometimes and just locked in like a crazy person because it was escapism. | ||
| I have a real problem with video games. | ||
| We have a whole video game room back there, like a LAN room. | ||
| I don't even go in there anymore. | ||
| I just stay away from it like I'm an alcoholic and it's a bar. | ||
| I can't go in there. | ||
| Tell him, Jamie. | ||
| We were playing hours every day to the point Jamie was telling me I had a problem. | ||
| He would leave. | ||
| He'd be like, I'm not playing anymore. | ||
| I'm like, where you going? | ||
| Get back here, bitch! | ||
| He would take off. | ||
| Go forever. | ||
| It was bad, right? | ||
| It was bad. | ||
| Like, hours and hours every day. | ||
| We would get done with the podcast. | ||
| I couldn't wait to go play. | ||
| I'd be like, goodnight, everybody! | ||
| Run right over there, boot it up, get online, start talking shit. | ||
| And we were talking crazy shit to each other. | ||
| Come on, bitch! | ||
| And just, like, killing each other. | ||
| Like, hours and hours and hours. | ||
| But when I would leave, we'd play Quake, Quake Champions. | ||
| My hands would be sweaty. | ||
| I would feel like I'm nervous. | ||
| I'd leave. | ||
| I'd be driving home and like, I don't feel good. | ||
| I feel bad. | ||
| Like I physically was feeling bad. | ||
| And then I started like sleeping bad. | ||
| I was thinking, I'm putting my body through all this crazy stress. | ||
| When you're playing, and you're locked onto that screen, and it's like this heavy, intense combat, and your hands are sweating, and you're so adrenaline jacked that when you get out of there, it's almost like you're drunk, or you just got off a drug, or you drank too much coffee or something. | ||
| You feel terrible. | ||
| Yeah, the shooters can put you in a... | ||
| I don't play Call of Duty or anything. | ||
| I play a little GTA, but that's a different energy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
2K was just really... | |
| I was locked in and I was doing a lot of research. | ||
| I started researching how to upgrade your character. | ||
| There's the badge system where if you're a point guard, you get certain badges. | ||
| You know, the dimer and that makes you able to pass better and so all these other specific attributes you can upgrade. | ||
| How do you upgrade? | ||
| Do you have to pay? | ||
| You can pay or you can play and get the experience and then as you keep on getting points... | ||
| You get better. | ||
| You actually get better. | ||
| But then it takes a while if you're not great at the game. | ||
| So I found out that there is a service where people just will play the game and they'll just upgrade your character. | ||
| I've heard about that for those role-playing games, those gigantic multiplayer games where you'll hire people and they have like sweatshops where people just play your game constantly and then upgrade your character. | ||
| Yeah, because I was trying to upgrade the character and it was taking too long. | ||
| And I just knew there was a better way. | ||
| And then somebody told me, you don't have to do that. | ||
| You can just pay somebody 80 bucks and they'll do it over a week. | ||
| And I paid somebody and I was like, oh yeah, this is much better. | ||
| And so you paid this guy and then you came back with refreshed skills. | ||
| Character was on point. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Character was on point. | ||
| Because the thing is, there's the park on NBA 2K. And so that's kind of open world. | ||
| Other people have their characters. | ||
| So the park is like you're playing against other folks. | ||
| You're playing against other folks. | ||
| They have their own outfits. | ||
| And so you can see what everybody's rated. | ||
| It's real, you know, it's a real social thing going on. | ||
| Okay, everybody's here at 95, 97. Can you hear them talk shit? | ||
| I don't want to hear anybody. | ||
| I could, but I don't really like talking to folks like that because it's too direct. | ||
| What is this guy doing here, Jamie? | ||
| I wasn't trying to show you the guy talking. | ||
| I was trying to show the video of the park so you could just see the visuals of it. | ||
| But it's in the middle of this guy's video. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So yeah, that's the park. | ||
| There's different three-on-three games, two-on-two. | ||
| Oh, and so do you have to wait in line and then you get into a game? | ||
| Yeah, so those are those little circles out of waiting spots. | ||
| So you can either play randomly or you could come through. | ||
| I meet up. | ||
| That's why I meet up with people during... | ||
| Quarantine. | ||
| Me and my cousin. | ||
| Hey, you going to the park? | ||
| Yeah, let's go to the park at 7. Then we team up, and then we play against people. | ||
| Graphics are amazing. | ||
| I think this is... | ||
| This is actually live. | ||
| So they have a 2K league. | ||
| Most of the real teams have their own team. | ||
| They have standings and whatnot. | ||
| And this is what they're showing on ESPN now. | ||
| There's no real sports, but this is close. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes you end up playing against one of those people in a random game. | ||
| You're like, oh, they're processing this way differently than I. Do I even have the same system as them? | ||
| Because how are they doing it? | ||
| Now, it's all consoles, right? | ||
| It's not on a computer. | ||
| There is... | ||
| Most players own PS4 and Xbox, but... | ||
| There is on PC and PC is where there's hackers. | ||
| I don't play on PC, but I watch videos of some PC YouTubers. | ||
| And so sometimes they'll just have a player that is 40 feet tall. | ||
| And you'll see, it's this one guy, Trey, I think his name, and his videos is him watching hacker videos, and it'll be somebody, their arms are going across the whole park. | ||
| A hacker can just kind of change the dynamic of the entire park, because I guess, yeah, you know, it's not as secure as the Xbox server. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| He's like a spider. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| That is so funny. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Of course PC people do that. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's the same with Quake. | ||
| That was always a problem. | ||
| Guys that have aiming bots and they could just shoot you. | ||
| Every time you showed up anywhere, you would get hit. | ||
| Like, they never missed. | ||
| So you just couldn't beat them. | ||
| Yeah, it's a difference. | ||
| You know what game? | ||
| You hear it, Overcooked? | ||
| No. | ||
| Overcooked is a co-op game where you work in the kitchen and it's just you putting together different meals. | ||
| You and the person are going against two people. | ||
| And you all have to put together the most burgers and serve them. | ||
| This is it right here. | ||
| Oh, I do know this game. | ||
| My fucking wife and my kids play this stupid game. | ||
| Do they get hyped up during it? | ||
| They get real hyped up. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's stressful. | |
| You're playing pizza making. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| It's something about it that it hits a different part of the brain where you get hyped and it really shows who people are under pressure and it's intense. | ||
| They start yelling at each other, get the tomatoes! | ||
| Because I was talking to my cousin. | ||
| I was talking to my cousin Percy. | ||
| I was like, why does this game get me more hyped than being in a war game and shooting people and getting shot at? | ||
| Because violence has kind of been, you know, we desensitize to it. | ||
| Video game violence, at least. | ||
| But, you know, being in a kitchen is kind of almost close to real life. | ||
| And so messing up in the kitchen... | ||
| It does something to you. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I played it once. | ||
| I was like, this is stupid as fuck. | ||
| I don't care what happens with this pizza. | ||
| Who was on your team? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| One of my daughters. | ||
| See, leadership is important in this game. | ||
| I got you a COVID test today at 6. Oh, thanks, man. | ||
| So we're good to go. | ||
| All right. | ||
| We'll find out what's up. | ||
| Also, I've got two tests for you. | ||
| The current test to find out if it's in your system and also an antibody test to see if it used to be. | ||
| You might have kicked it. | ||
| A lot of people kicked it and they didn't even know. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| We'll see. | ||
| What direction will my day take? | ||
| Sometimes, yeah. | ||
| I started taking a good amount of... | ||
| I take vitamin... | ||
| I take some zinc. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Some vitamin B. B's good. | ||
| And Adderall. | ||
| That's a vitamin, right? | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| It feels like maybe the best vitamin. | ||
| No, D is very important. | ||
| D is real important. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Especially... | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Sneaky. | ||
| Hey, dawg. | ||
| You look like a magician. | ||
| Got jackets, got... | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| I'd just be in my house with stuff. | ||
| I was like, you know what? | ||
| I gotta bring some of this stuff. | ||
| How are you feeling without doing stand-up? | ||
| Is it weirding you out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| No. | ||
| You know, dropping a special... | ||
| Made it kind of weird just because there's a lot of movement that's usually associated with a release, you know, going to do TV. Usually you in New York and L.A., you probably pop up at the comedy club a couple times that week. | ||
| And so that was that was kind of a very weird, foreign feeling to have a big drop. | ||
| And I think that's what kind of led to me throwing a little jam on my roof. | ||
| I was like, it feels too weird. | ||
| I gotta have some type of little gathering, you know what I mean? | ||
| But yeah, I've been getting... | ||
| My outlet has been music as far as just being able to hang out and crack jokes and be creative. | ||
| And I've been seeing it. | ||
| There's drive-through shows happening. | ||
| I'm thinking about doing some drive-through, some drive-in screenings. | ||
| Bert Kreischer's been doing a lot of that. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, he did one with Miss Pat and Jesus Trejo. | ||
| It looked like fun, man. | ||
| They're on stage and they had 700 cars. | ||
| That's how they put it. | ||
| Instead of like 700 people in the audience, they had 700 cars. | ||
| And Bert's got a video of it. | ||
| It's pretty badass. | ||
| When the people are applauding at the end, they're honking their horn and flashing their lights. | ||
| And he said it was like UFOs landing. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| It's all these headlights, 700 cars. | ||
| Are they all on stage at once? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I mean, they did sets. | ||
| I mean, they did it like a comedy show. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because that's the thing that I wonder about as a performer. | ||
| Look at that, grilling. | ||
| And trying to ride the wave, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But look at that, Miss Pat. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There she is. | |
| Oh, so people outside their cars kicking it. | ||
| Look, man, this is wild. | ||
| That looks like a lot of fun. | ||
| He said it was great. | ||
| He loved it. | ||
| He said the fans were going nuts. | ||
| But he did some shows. | ||
| He did one show in Oklahoma, and they were supposed to socially distant. | ||
| It was supposed to be 120 people in the audience. | ||
| There was 347 people. | ||
| They stuffed him into the place, and he was like, I don't feel safe in here. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are they doing? | ||
| Like, what did they do? | ||
| No one had masks on. | ||
| Like, 10 people had masks on. | ||
| This is them at the end. | ||
| See, this is like real social distancing, right? | ||
| As long as they're all tested, and look at that, look at all the crowds, all the cars. | ||
| They had fireworks! | ||
| And this was Burt's idea, all his idea. | ||
| Drive-in movie theaters are making a comeback now. | ||
| There's a movie that's out now. | ||
| This is a fucking horror movie that's supposed to be real good. | ||
| It's like a one-word name. | ||
| About a haunted house or some shit. | ||
| It looks fun. | ||
| But they're releasing it July 3rd in drive-in movie theaters and then July 10th on demand. | ||
| So, like, they're doing everything now. | ||
| Like, basically, movies have to come out on your Apple TV or Amazon or whatever. | ||
| Which I love. | ||
| I don't want to go to the movies. | ||
| But I want the movies to stay open. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe I'll do... | |
| Just, yeah, putting a special out is kind of reignited. | ||
| I want to get in front of a crowd again and just talk some shit, man. | ||
| You think you're going to do stand-up in Ghana? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They speak a lot of English there? | ||
| Yeah, they speak a lot of English. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's going to be a great trip. | ||
| It was, you know, my first traveling, I went to... | ||
| The whole situation kind of had me feeling stuck, even though I could have been making moves or doing, you know, in March and April, where I could have been doing stuff, but I kind of, because of media and just everything, I just kind of felt trapped in the crib, even though there was still options. | ||
| And so towards the end of May, My sister lives in Phoenix. | ||
| I'm going to go visit them and stay in Phoenix. | ||
| And just getting prepped for the trip was so... | ||
| Because I hadn't used my book bag in months. | ||
| And just all the little stuff that came with traveling... | ||
| When I found my book bag, it felt like, you know, a warrior picking up his sword. | ||
| But it was like, oh! | ||
| I genuinely, I teared up, like, getting my bag again. | ||
| Because I hadn't, it was like, oh yeah, I used to go to shit and do shit. | ||
| And picking my bag up made me emotional. | ||
| And then being there at their place, you know, I live alone, so it's a family of four, two teenagers. | ||
| So it was nice to be in a house with structure. | ||
| They work from home now, but... | ||
| You know, the kids got school. | ||
| So it was night because I would go to bed sometimes at 8 in the morning just because I had nothing. | ||
| I was just, you know, going to bed at 8, waking up at weird, waking up at midnight sometimes. | ||
| The life of a comedian, man. | ||
| I had a crazy schedule, man. | ||
| So it was just nice to be in a... | ||
| Like, whoa, whoa, this is a functioning... | ||
| Oh, this is what, you know, structured normalcy is. | ||
| And it was really helpful for me. | ||
| I needed it. | ||
| Just being around them after that time and hanging with my nephew and niece. | ||
| It was really necessary. | ||
| It makes you appreciate, like, normal... | ||
| Like, one of the things about the lockdown, it makes me appreciate, like, meals. | ||
| Like, sitting down and having meals with my family. | ||
| We didn't go to any restaurants at all for, like, three months. | ||
| It makes you appreciate. | ||
| It made me appreciate having food. | ||
| Because in the beginning I was thinking, what if we run out of food? | ||
| What do we do? | ||
| I have a gun and I have bullets and I know how to hunt. | ||
| And I know where some deer are in my neighborhood. | ||
| I've been keeping an eye on them. | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| Just in case shit gets weird. | ||
| You ain't got no vegetables in the garden? | ||
| You straight to the deer? | ||
| Well, it's between vegetables and deer. | ||
| You can't live that long on a small garden. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can live for months on a deer. | ||
| I can shoot one deer and I'll eat that fucker for three or four months. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But if you have like four tomato plants and like some kale, you got some celery, good luck. | ||
| You got like three salads out of that shit. | ||
| I know a few people that bought guns when shit was first starting to go down. | ||
| A lot of people bought guns. | ||
| A lot of people came to me and asked, like, how do you get one? | ||
| What do I have to do? | ||
| They were asking. | ||
| People that were negative about guns before. | ||
| I have a buddy of mine, his wife's like, you're never getting a gun. | ||
| We're never having a gun in this house. | ||
| He's like, okay, fine. | ||
| The lockdown happened, she goes, you gotta get a gun. | ||
| Immediately. | ||
| Right away. | ||
| And he called me up laughing. | ||
| She told me I have to get a gun. | ||
| I'm like, ha! | ||
| Hey, people change their minds. | ||
| They change their minds in front of real danger. | ||
| It's real danger, you know? | ||
| When shit was getting real weird. | ||
| And this was before the riots and the looting. | ||
| This was just during the lockdown. | ||
| People started getting nervous about food. | ||
| They started seeing people have fist fights over toilet paper. | ||
| Like, whoa, people are losing their shit. | ||
| The toilet paper situation was really shocking to see because I had lots of wipes anyways, just in general. | ||
| I just had lots of wipes on deck. | ||
| Yeah, and you're going to be okay if you have a washcloth and some water. | ||
| You can wipe your ass. | ||
| It's not that big a deal. | ||
| You need food. | ||
| That's what you need. | ||
| I mean, you could clean a washcloth. | ||
| As long as you have water, do you have water and soap? | ||
| Well, you're good. | ||
| You don't really need toilet paper. | ||
| You're going to be okay. | ||
| You need food. | ||
| Yeah, you don't want to put that shit on the washcloths, really, though, unless it gets dicey. | ||
| You do what you got to do. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| You do what you got to do. | ||
| When it's time to go number two and the apocalypse come for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
2020. 2020. Without a doubt, the weirdest year ever. | |
| Right? | ||
| In my adulthood. | ||
| My whole life. | ||
| There's no time ever weirder. | ||
| Yeah, the global pandemic. | ||
| You know, I was... | ||
| My girlfriend lives in Hong Kong and we met out there over the holiday. | ||
| And so she was over here. | ||
| Hong Kong is going through some shit right now. | ||
| Hong Kong is going through some shit. | ||
| But she had the early window on COVID. So she was heading back there at the beginning of February. | ||
| And she was looking for masks while we were in New York. | ||
| And shit. | ||
| And it was like February 2nd, 3rd. | ||
| She was looking for masks. | ||
| And I'm like, y'all need some masks to go back? | ||
| I was like, why you gonna go back there? | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| And so I remember, you know, I FaceTimed and she'd be at work with a mask on just like, you know, February 15th, 16th, that zone. | ||
| And I would look at her like, that's crazy. | ||
| Look at... | ||
| Look at y'all. | ||
| Nobody's at work? | ||
| That's insane! | ||
| What? | ||
| You just sitting there with a mask on all the time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| What is that like? | ||
| Little did I know. | ||
| I would find out. | ||
| Little did you know. | ||
| That's normal life now. | ||
| I was really oblivious thinking, oh, that's over there. | ||
| I got an early look at the shit. | ||
| It was just like, oh, damn, that sucks. | ||
| I was really telling her, you should escape there and come here. | ||
| And what? | ||
| Hong Kong's safer now. | ||
| You should wait it out over here. | ||
| It's so bonkers to look back at. | ||
| No, come to America. | ||
| We don't got that shit over like it's in Hong Kong. | ||
| Man, it's insane. | ||
| Now, unenthroned, crazy COVID jam session. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| And then being worried about it. | ||
| And then had a full-on meltdown. | ||
| Like, real, like, walked up to the... | ||
| Just try to... | ||
| You know, it's one thing to sit down at a house party, but, like, shut down a jam session and just, like, walk up to the keyboard. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Yeah, looking at the drummer like, no, no, no. | ||
| Keep everybody alive. | ||
| What we need is a test that you can just, like a real quick saliva test. | ||
| Senses style. | ||
| Yeah, but just everybody walks in, lick that thing. | ||
| Okay, you're good. | ||
| Oh, you're not good. | ||
| Like, know who's clean, let everybody in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if we did that, it would change everything. | ||
| If they had some sort of a test, like a real easy saliva test. | ||
| Just lick it and you know. | ||
| We could wipe this shit out in a week. | ||
| The test now is all... | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Oh, no, it's easy now. | ||
| It used to be like that. | ||
| It used to go deep in your nostrils. | ||
| Like way up into your sinus cavity. | ||
| But now it's just the inside of your nose. | ||
| It's nothing. | ||
| No discomfort at all. | ||
| It's like a little Q-tip. | ||
| It just goes inside the nose. | ||
| They swab it around a little bit for like 10 seconds. | ||
| They dip it into some sort of a solution. | ||
| They send it off, and you'll know tomorrow. | ||
| And then the antibody test that you'll do. | ||
| This is the FDA-approved antibody test. | ||
| You just squeeze your finger like that. | ||
| They put a little prick on the tip of your finger. | ||
| A little blood comes out. | ||
| They put it in a thing, and you know in 10 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It's easy. | ||
| I'm sure you're fine. | ||
| I'm looking at you right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feel good. | |
| I'm good at this. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| You're good. | ||
| I think you're good. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Do you like sit down and write your stand-up or do you just like have ideas and work them out on stage? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little bit of both. | |
| Yeah, I'll write some and then just have some ideas. | ||
| Here's my COVID game show idea. | ||
| You get four people, line them up, put masks on them, and it's a game show called Who Said That? | ||
| Because everybody got a mask on. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| And then... | ||
| My other one is a bad joke. | ||
| You gotta get these out your system before you hit it. | ||
| Now everybody's wearing masks. | ||
| The bank robber's gotta write robber on his mask. | ||
| You've been spending a lot of time alone. | ||
| This is strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, folks, COVID is crazy. | |
| What is this obsession with becoming a game show host that you have in your special? | ||
| It's not an obsession. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| I've done it. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| It's not an obsession. | ||
| It's just kind of, you know, that's the career path that happens. | ||
| And I have been offered a lot of game shows. | ||
| And I say not yet. | ||
| They come with a large cheddar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They haven't made it undeniable for me on the game show side yet. | ||
| If I was in the same position I was when I took Fear Factor, I'd take it again. | ||
| Because it changed my life. | ||
| Changed my life. | ||
| Gave me freedom. | ||
| Like, real freedom. | ||
| But it's a job. | ||
| There's a big difference between doing that and doing stand-up. | ||
| When you do stand-up, you're having fun. | ||
| When you're doing Fear Factor, sometimes you're having fun. | ||
| But it's a job. | ||
| You're working. | ||
| It was a great job. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why I think on the game show side, I really just got to put my energy into who said that? | ||
| The COVID game show. | ||
| What if Steve Harvey retires from Family Feud? | ||
| That's an easy one. | ||
| I would do Family Feud. | ||
| I wouldn't do Family Feud. | ||
| It's an easy one. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's an easy one. | ||
| Survey says! | ||
| I remember back when Richard Dawkins hosted it. | ||
| Then you in the airport and just people asking you random shit. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| And then they just, you know. | ||
| What about Drew Carey's got prices right? | ||
| That's an easy one. | ||
| It looks easy. | ||
| I don't think it's just, I don't think it's for me. | ||
| I enjoy some of them, but just me and what I think, as a regular gig, I gotta be the one creating it. | ||
| The thing about the Drew Carey thing, though, Drew Carey seems like he's just stacking money. | ||
| He's stacking money like no one even knows about it. | ||
| Oh, Pat Sajak. | ||
| Wheel of Fortune's been on for my entire life. | ||
| Right, but Pat Sajak's not a comic. | ||
| What did he do before Wheel of Fortune? | ||
| He didn't do anything. | ||
| He was born on the set. | ||
| He grew up there. | ||
| He's been doing that forever. | ||
| He's not a comic, though. | ||
| Maybe he was at one point in time, maybe? | ||
| I don't think so, though. | ||
| He's not a comic. | ||
| Have you ever heard of Pat Sajak? | ||
| He was a former weatherman and talk show host. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, so he hit the jackpot. | ||
| But who else? | ||
| What other comics have done game shows? | ||
| Howie Mandel. | ||
| Howie... | ||
| He's done a gang of them, right? | ||
| He had that one Deal or No Deal. | ||
| He had more than one, right? | ||
| And he did... | ||
| Oh, that was Deal or No... | ||
| That was Deal or No Deal. | ||
| I was thinking of something else. | ||
| Deal or No Deal was a winner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why did they ever stop that show? | |
| Well, not live now. | ||
| I think they were touring it, I think. | ||
| I don't know if it's... | ||
| It moved to CNBC instead of primetime TV. It's still being produced all the time. | ||
| Who wants to be a millionaire is still on TV. See, I don't think I've quite sold you on who said that, so let's really dive into the concept. | ||
| Okay, four people wearing masks. | ||
| Four people wearing masks. | ||
| Somebody says something. | ||
| I would like it if one of them was COVID positive. | ||
| One of them COVID positive? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Just for the fucker. | ||
| Just for the fucker. | ||
| Up the stakes. | ||
| That's season three, when people get bored. | ||
| Yeah, season three. | ||
| Season three are COVID. And then once somebody says something... | ||
| But it's not much movement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You gotta guess. | ||
| You gotta just guess. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta guess. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| 30 second episodes. | ||
| You shoot 500 of them in a day. | ||
| It's on YouTube. | ||
| It's not a bad idea. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| Was it him? | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| Was it Tim? | ||
| Was it Jim? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| How high did you get before you came here? | ||
| No, this is me, man. | ||
| CBD. It's the Kill Cliff CBD. These are good, right? | ||
| Very addictive. | ||
| He's a smooth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good for you. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm addicted to these. | ||
| That actually is not a bad idea for a show. | ||
| As long as they didn't, like, you could guess. | ||
| And especially if it's like they said things that were like closely related to what they did, like maybe you can ask them what they did and then figure out who would say what. | ||
| I think keeping it simple and quick for these short attention spans. | ||
| And then maybe that's somebody that becomes a legend on the show. | ||
| And they just kind of... | ||
| It's somebody... | ||
| And maybe it's scripted. | ||
| Maybe it's real. | ||
| But it's somebody that says, who said that? | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And they say, whoa, that was fast. | ||
| They just know. | ||
| This episode's over. | ||
| Intro's longer than the episode. | ||
| Intro's 15 seconds. | ||
| Episode, four seconds. | ||
| Now... | ||
| Let me know. | ||
| Let me know how this sells. | ||
| I'm gonna, um, yeah. | ||
| Take it out. | ||
| I'm gonna take it, I'm gonna take it out onto, you know, the video conferencing circuit, just different, do some meetings. | ||
| I think they're filming things now because Felipe had a thing on his Instagram where he said he's on a new show. | ||
| Or it might be a movie. | ||
| And they're going to the set on Monday. | ||
| And he's all excited. | ||
| He was talking about the protocols and all the different shit they have to do for COVID. But they're fucking filming. | ||
| But what I was saying is if you're filming, you have to go home at the end of the day. | ||
| What if you go home and you go out and you catch it? | ||
| And then you come back to the set. | ||
| How often are they testing you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And if someone gets it, like if you're the star and you get it, What do they do? | ||
| They lock the show down for two weeks and then come back? | ||
| If the star gets it, I think... | ||
| I heard they say it goes by number on the call sheet. | ||
| So if the star gets it, then they cough in everybody else's mouth and then herd immunity and then the show goes on because, you know... | ||
| What'd you say? | ||
| I think when this was happening, or starting, Tyler Perry's production team was saying that they were going to lock the whole team down in quarantine together in one hotel, and then they all go to the set. | ||
| So nobody leaves. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Everybody gets tested. | ||
| Tyler Perry can do that, though, because he's got his own studio. | ||
| He's his own boss. | ||
| He's got it locked up. | ||
| He doesn't have to deal with any bullshit. | ||
| He's all non-union. | ||
| He's got a complete system. | ||
| I think I heard they do it quicker than normal, too. | ||
| They do it in a couple weeks as opposed to like a month or two. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got an island. | ||
| Tyler Perry's got a fucking island. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| That's next level. | ||
| You gonna get an island? | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I'm not interested in an island. | ||
| You really? | ||
| No. | ||
| You should've? | ||
| Because you... | ||
| I want a ranch. | ||
| I don't want an island. | ||
| You might want... | ||
| Because remember... | ||
| I think last time I was on here... | ||
| The time before that, I was talking about getting a Tesla and you said, don't get a Tesla. | ||
| Now you got a Tesla. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but that was... | |
| That's true. | ||
| But I got that because Elon talked me into it. | ||
| He was willing to do my show. | ||
| I said, all right, man, I'll buy a Tesla because he did my show. | ||
| But then once I got it, I was like, he's right. | ||
| It's dope. | ||
| You have one? | ||
| Dude. | ||
| They're the craziest cars ever. | ||
| Like, every other car seems dumb. | ||
| It's so fast. | ||
| It's so fast it doesn't even make sense. | ||
| Like, it defies physics. | ||
| It just goes. | ||
| It takes off, like, and then you got this giant screen for the navigation, and then it drives itself. | ||
| The driving itself part. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Everything's amazing about it. | ||
| You can play video games on it. | ||
| It got that fart thing, too. | ||
| It's got the fart thing if you hit the blinkers, if you like to do that. | ||
| The fart. | ||
| It's a solid car. | ||
| What kind of car do you drive? | ||
| I got an Infiniti. | ||
| It's not mine. | ||
| I started renting, I was renting from this guy and I was starting to shop for a car and then the pandemic happened. | ||
| So then I just- Just held on to this guy's car? | ||
| I held on to the rental because I didn't know if I was just going to, I had to escape. | ||
| I probably drove it once or twice the entire month of April. | ||
| But you have a lot of money. | ||
| Why wouldn't you just get a car? | ||
| I was shopping for cars, but then pandemic. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, I was shopping in early March. | ||
| So you were renting this to see if you like it? | ||
| No, I was just renting it because I would rent through this app, Turo. | ||
| It's like Airbnb for cars. | ||
| And then I started just renting directly from this guy because less fees for him. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And we'd just text and he'd bring a car. | ||
| It was smooth. | ||
| And I was starting to look for a car because it wasn't making sense to keep renting from him. | ||
| And then, you know, COVID. I was chopping for a car, and then the virus came and said stop. | ||
| I saw the Carvana, you saw Carvana commercials they put on Hoot? | ||
| What's Carvana? | ||
| Carvana's like, we'll bring the car to you, and then we'll socially, they deliver. | ||
| Socially distanced car delivery. | ||
| But they're breathing in the car. | ||
| How are they doing that? | ||
| Buy a car, and I don't know. | ||
| They're driving. | ||
| So they have to touch it. | ||
| Maybe they... | ||
| Maybe they wear a hazmat suit. | ||
| I don't know how they... | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| They drop it off on the back of a truck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Carvana. | ||
| I should've... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They have 11,850 vehicles and they just drop it off on a flatbed and they don't even touch it. | ||
| The new way to buy a car. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Have it or pick it up at a vending machine. | ||
| You seem like a dude who would like a fun car. | ||
| You need something fun in your life. | ||
| Dodge Dart? | ||
| Dodge Dart on 22s? | ||
| They're still doing that in Miami. | ||
| I was in Miami and they had these like a Caprice Classic on giant... | ||
| I saw a BMW 7 Series on these giant fucking wheels. | ||
| They look like they're 27 inch wheels. | ||
| It's like a wagon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like you're driving around in an old covered wagon. | |
| Yeah, you gotta have solid parking skills for that or you're gonna scuff the rims on it too. | ||
| You gotta be parking good each time. | ||
| You gotta be careful with your parallel parking. | ||
| My parallel parking game is I've just given up and gone around the block again sometimes. | ||
| Where I thought about just going to some type of school, just a specialized, just a parallel parking intensive course. | ||
| Get a car that does it for you. | ||
| There's a certain Lexus, the sedan, that you just press a button and it'll parallel park. | ||
| I know that there's some that'll do it, but you want to be able to... | ||
| Because it's not like I can't. | ||
| Sometimes I nail it, and then other times it's just... | ||
| It's practice. | ||
| Think about when you first started doing stand-up. | ||
| You probably weren't as good as you are now. | ||
| You got to practice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just go somewhere with his cars. | ||
| Start parking. | ||
| Just park a lot. | ||
| Just take a day. | ||
| Just take a day. | ||
| Yeah, Saturday's park day. | ||
| Parking. | ||
| Parking all day with a full tank of gas. | ||
| Try it on busy streets. | ||
| That's the real thing is the pressure parking when the people behind you, they're giving you room, but then you got to kind of block out that noise. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Speaking of noise, how have the fighters liked being in the situation now? | ||
| Some love it. | ||
| Some love it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think some miss the crowd, but some love it because, first of all, it's real quiet, no distractions. | ||
| You don't have the energy of people screaming at you. | ||
| You can just focus on the fight. | ||
| And it's a lot like just being in a gym. | ||
| It's a lot like sparring. | ||
| So you could look at it that way. | ||
| I like it as a commentator. | ||
| I was just talking to Louis C.K. about this. | ||
| I was like, I don't know if it's better. | ||
| I kind of like it. | ||
| I miss the crowd in some ways, but I kind of like no crowd. | ||
| Because you can focus? | ||
| Yeah, they're different. | ||
| They're different things. | ||
| Like, one of them is insane. | ||
| Like, if you go to a Conor McGregor fight, and it's in a packed T-Mobile arena, and Sinead O'Connor's screaming, singing, and the fucking green mist is on the air and everything, it's wild. | ||
| It's a spectacle. | ||
| But there's something about the Apex Center where it's just me and Daniel Cormier and John Anik and fucking Bruce Buffer screaming to nobody. | ||
| There's nobody in the arena. | ||
| And then the fighters walk out. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| And then when they're hitting each other, man, you hear fucking everything. | ||
| You hear every shot to the ribs. | ||
| You hear the... | ||
| You hear breathing heavy. | ||
| You hear wincing. | ||
| You hear all that shit. | ||
| You hear them talk shit to each other. | ||
| It's very different. | ||
| It's very different. | ||
| There's something stunning about someone getting really fucked up where there's no crowd noise. | ||
| Like Francis Ngannou, who's the scariest person on the planet Earth. | ||
| He knocked out Jarzino Rosenstreich in like 20 seconds. | ||
| And Rosenstreich is also a big scary dude. | ||
| You know who Francis is? | ||
| I know who Francis is. | ||
| Fuck, he's terrifying. | ||
| And all he has to do is connect on people, right? | ||
| So he BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! And Rosenstreich is out cold and there's no sound. | ||
| It's just him walking off. | ||
| Rosenstreich's out cold and we're sitting there going, holy shit. | ||
| This is wild. | ||
| It's like there's no one there. | ||
| There's no scream of the crowd. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| The violence of it all, the explosion is so stunning. | ||
| It's all... | ||
| It's stunning. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| I wonder what's... | ||
| If you're gonna take an L, I wonder what is better for the psyche to not... | ||
| It's probably to not have that cheer. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because then it's like a regular street fight. | ||
| It is like sparring where you don't get to hear 20,000 people cheering your potential concussion. | ||
| As long as you stay offline for a couple weeks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just get off Twitter... | ||
| The fact that people go on people's social media that are fighters to taunt them after they lose a fight. | ||
| Are you going to go square up? | ||
| You got knocked out. | ||
| Yeah, by a pro. | ||
| It feels like a weird move to dig in. | ||
| It's a bitch move. | ||
| It's a bitch move for sure, but it's a real common bitch move. | ||
| It's 100% guaranteed it's going to happen. | ||
| If you get flatlined, someone's going to come along and go, and they're going to have that thing from Friday with Chris Tucker. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got knocked the fuck out! | |
| They're going to have that. | ||
| That's going to come up. | ||
| Chris Tucker and Ice Cube. | ||
| You're going to have people taunt you Like, some guys are fine with it. | ||
| Like, Ben Askren, who got knocked out by Jorge Masvidal. | ||
| Fastest knockout in history. | ||
| It was just a one-year anniversary of it a couple of days ago. | ||
| And he was like, oh, great. | ||
| Like, he was saying, imagine your most embarrassing moment. | ||
| And they celebrate it with a one-year anniversary. | ||
| Slow-mo. | ||
| Yeah, but that one was a packed audience. | ||
| And everybody went, wow! | ||
| And it lasted a long time, the screams and the cheers. | ||
| And he was out for a long time, too. | ||
| I don't know if that would be better if there was no one there. | ||
| It would be stunning if there was... | ||
| I think I like it better with no one there, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I love both of them. | ||
| But I might like it a hair better with no crowd. | ||
| I wonder if it's too small of a sample size to decide, but have you seen any change in fighting styles at all? | ||
| Or is it something different in the performance? | ||
| Nah, I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe they've been a little wilder. | |
| But I just think it's also like fighters didn't get to fight for months. | ||
| So everybody was kind of chomping at the bit. | ||
| And also, there's a lot of eyes on them. | ||
| So everybody realized that this is the only game in town. | ||
| There's no other sport. | ||
| There's no other sports right now that are running except for the UFC. And the Marble Races. | ||
| And the Marble Races. | ||
| And the Floor is Lava. | ||
| Floor is Lava. | ||
| Shout out Floor is Lava. | ||
| Shout out to Rutledge Wood. | ||
| I don't know if any other sports are coming back anytime soon. | ||
| NBA is soon. | ||
| You know what I heard they're working on? | ||
| They're working on a thing where there's going to be an app on your phone and you'll be able to make noise and that noise will be piped into the arena. | ||
| So like each individual person, you'll have a seat and your seat will be making noise. | ||
| Oh, now how you feel about the Moose soundboard idea. | ||
| Now you see it coming together. | ||
| Now we have a launch pad for it. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
| NBA bubble season. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Now this is a profitable app. | ||
| I have to feel that people are going to organize shit where they're going to chant and say things and have fun. | ||
| There'll be things where people will get together and try to figure out. | ||
| Maybe sing a song. | ||
| You have everybody together all singing a song at the exact same time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can do, you know. | ||
| We don't want the virus. | ||
| We wish we could be there, but this is alright. | ||
| Better than nothing. | ||
| Basketball's back. | ||
| NBA playoff game. | ||
| Imagine there's no heaven. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Amazing. | |
| Never know. | ||
| Well, listen, one of the things that's come out of this is a lot of people have gotten real creative with shit. | ||
| They've found ways to make things interesting. | ||
| They've found ways to have fun. | ||
| I like when people are confronted with real adversity and challenges because you get to see how the human imagination works. | ||
| You see creativity. | ||
| Yeah, it just, you know, for me, it helped me kind of, it helped me think about the other people in my life and who I work with and just how to highlight and produce for them better since I was able to sit. | ||
| Oh, I was thinking about my uncle, Kelvin. | ||
| He used to deal at casinos in the Chicago area from mid to late 90s, early, probably 10 years or so. | ||
| He's a character. | ||
| I had a gambling problem for a little bit. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What kind? | ||
| Sports and casino. | ||
| A lot of sports. | ||
| When you say gambling problem, what made it a problem? | ||
| What made it a problem is that it was really taking up a lot of time. | ||
| And I'd never gotten to real trouble just because I was, you know, constantly working. | ||
| I had great weeks. | ||
| I had bad weeks. | ||
| But it was just if you're, you know, betting on stuff every other day or whatever, then that means you're kind of on tilt and not able to function most of the time. | ||
| And this is when you were drinking a lot, too. | ||
| This is when I was drinking a lot of tula. | ||
| So drinking and gambling together. | ||
| I was drinking and gambling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| And then getting up at midnight. | ||
| No, that was... | ||
| That's quarantine sleep schedule. | ||
| My regular sleep schedule was, you know, drunk stuff, you know, 4 or 5 a.m. | ||
| But... | ||
| How'd you kick it? | ||
| Kick the... | ||
| Gambling habit. | ||
| The gambling... | ||
| I had to just really take a look at what I was doing and then how it was serving me. | ||
| And look at the other stuff that I was doing, and that's also gambling, investing. | ||
| So realizing I had that outlet. | ||
| It just wasn't in sports or throwing some dice, but you can gamble by investing in a company early. | ||
| You can gamble by getting a building. | ||
| You can gamble by trying to produce your own show out of pocket. | ||
| All of these other things are gambling. | ||
| Yeah, sort of. | ||
| It's more of an invest, though. | ||
| It's an invest, but if it, you know, investments go bust. | ||
| Companies, you know, people done put, you know, millions of dollars, billions into companies. | ||
| That Quibi. | ||
| And so that was an investment. | ||
| And people, they were really hyped about it and wrote big checks. | ||
| So it was realizing that and just realizing that, you know, When I was looking at a game, it would take up time because I would get really into it and research the history with teams and look at all these other matchups. | ||
| And so I could spend that time and mental energy on something else that's more productive. | ||
| Well, that's a wise way of looking at it, but a lot of people don't... | ||
| When they get sucked into something, it's very hard to get... | ||
| We were just talking about video games, about my addiction to video games. | ||
| I just had to go cold turkey. | ||
| I just had to step away and go, I can't fucking do this anymore. | ||
| And I figured it out and I stopped. | ||
| But that's not easy to do sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes, whatever it is about gambling, whatever switches that pops off in your brain that gives you that dopamine charge... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's certain bets that are just super pleasurable. | ||
| If you bet the total in an NBA game, if you bet over and you're there live... | ||
| The total is what the two teams will score, 200 points. | ||
| And you're rooting for every score. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| Everybody. | ||
| You're just, yeah, yeah, free throws. | ||
| You're like, yeah, free throws! | ||
| So to have, you know, a couple grand on a game and you're rooting for both teams live? | ||
| I didn't know you could do that. | ||
| What's wrong with this guy? | ||
| Any total score, yeah, hockey, whatever, soccer, if the goals are over three, then you're rooting for both teams. | ||
| You don't care if it's, you know, two to two or four to nothing or 54. That's exciting. | ||
| Yeah, the over bet is super high. | ||
| Jamie, you gamble a little, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gamble on fights, too, right? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| It's more fun to gamble on the over-under on rounds and shit, too. | ||
| You're like, don't, don't, hang on, hang on, hang on. | ||
| Right, right, right, yeah. | ||
| Who did I... I'm trying to think of some memorable fights I had some money. | ||
| I think I had... | ||
| I had Rumble Johnson against... | ||
| Texera. | ||
| Oh, that was a brutal knockout. | ||
| I had Rumble. | ||
| I take Rumble over everybody except Cormier. | ||
| For whatever reason, Cormier's got his number. | ||
| But Rumble hits anybody, they go night-night. | ||
| He's coming back. | ||
| He's bored. | ||
| So he's coming back. | ||
| Might come back as a heavyweight. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| He's huge now. | ||
| I mean fucking huge. | ||
| Like 250? | ||
| Gigantic. | ||
| I'll tell you my craziest gambling story. | ||
| I've told it on stage, but this is where it was really bonkers. | ||
| So I started, I was bedding with a bookie, but I'll use a site, you know. | ||
| But it was, you know, if I won, the guy would send money. | ||
| He'd send a bunch of money and $500 money orders. | ||
| Or, you know, I would just send PayPal, whatever. | ||
| And it was like that. | ||
| But the thing was that since you could just do it like that, it made it... | ||
| It's like sending a text. | ||
| You're just doing it on a site. | ||
| And so it doesn't... | ||
| It's not the same as holding the cash... | ||
| And bedding, what you really have to think about is you just typed it real quick. | ||
| And so you're doing, you know, these large beds. | ||
| So after a while, my tolerance was I needed more and I was on a hot streak. | ||
| And so I asked my friend for another bookie with a higher limit because the limit on my one was like two grand. | ||
| And so he found this. | ||
| He knew this guy that do five thousand a game. | ||
| That gets intense. | ||
| But then it's 5,000 on the honors. | ||
| So you're not putting up five each time. | ||
| Because if I was putting up five with my physical each time, I probably would. | ||
| But because it was like five and five and I had a hot streak, I was betting on a lot of hockey at this time. | ||
| And I was getting, I had a hot streak on hockey so much and my gambling buddies, Bozeman and CJ, they started calling me Hockey Hannibal because I just was betting on, Vegas Golden Knights were doing really well. | ||
| That was their first season and Blackhawks were hitting some stuff. | ||
| So I was doing parlay. | ||
| So if you parlay a $5,000 bet with, you know, with the total of something, then that five is, you know, 12, 15 wins. | ||
| So I had a good run after a week. | ||
| I was up $100,000 cash. | ||
| But I'd never put in any money. | ||
| So I got this $100,000 from type. | ||
| And so I meet up with the guy in Chicago. | ||
| And, uh, and I mean, I pull up next to his car and he hand me a hundred grand cash and a brown paperback. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Did you do like the Demi Moore thing where you throw the money on the bed and roll around naked? | ||
| No, I put it on the table and kind of just really looked at... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I kept it kind of cool. | |
| I just put it on the table. | ||
| All hundreds? | ||
| Yeah, all hundreds. | ||
| How big is $100,000 in all hundreds? | ||
| It's not great. | ||
| It's a lot, but it's not massive. | ||
| It's not like 20s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a couple. | |
| It's a few stacks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so because there was no real effort to get that money, I didn't value it like that. | ||
| And so in my head, the gambler's mind is not happy. | ||
| And so I was like, you know what? | ||
| Let's get him for $100 more. | ||
| And the next week proceeded to go down. | ||
| Go down like 90 grand out of that hundred. | ||
| And so he starts hitting me up. | ||
| Hey, I get that 90. And so I was too prideful at the time. | ||
| I didn't want to give him the cash. | ||
| We had an agreement to do PayPal on some stuff, but he, of course, he didn't want to do PayPal for no 90. He didn't want to do PayPal for, you know, it was two, three. | ||
| But I was in a zone of, I can't deal with giving this cash back. | ||
| And so he's asking for it. | ||
| And I PayPal him the 90 grand. | ||
| And then he sends that shit back. | ||
| So now we playing hot potato. | ||
| He wants the cash. | ||
| Playing internet hot potato with $90,000. | ||
| And yeah, so it was just really, it was intense because I was like, yo, is this? | ||
| And then he hit me up. | ||
| Hey, we see you going to be in Brooklyn. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And so I try to, I puff up and just kind of say, hey, you don't want to show up to Brooklyn, dog. | ||
| I got to make sure you, like, I tried to talk some shit to, hey, man, you don't come to Brooklyn, you're going to get touched. | ||
| Like, don't come to my show. | ||
| You said that? | ||
| Yeah, I texted that thing, like, don't come through Brooklyn. | ||
| You said you're going to get touched? | ||
| I texted. | ||
| I was just trying to, I was out of my mind. | ||
| I was on tilt, man. | ||
| I was being ridiculous. | ||
| Because I didn't want to welch, but I just didn't want to pay like that. | ||
| And so eventually... | ||
| You tried to pay. | ||
| We sent it back, and eventually he just took it. | ||
| But yeah, that was... | ||
| Eventually he took what? | ||
| The PayPal? | ||
| The 90 via PayPal. | ||
| Even though that probably was a heat. | ||
| Yeah, that's bad for the taxes. | ||
| That's bad for taxes or whatever. | ||
| And so I actually called him this week. | ||
| I was like, yo, sorry, man. | ||
| I was bugging back then. | ||
| Says, yo, that was poor form on my part. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| I don't gamble no more. | ||
| Sorry to put you through that and bring heat on you. | ||
| But that was the wildest one, man. | ||
| It just had me in a real irrational zone. | ||
| Delete all that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My friend Derek. | |
| My friend Dana White, the president of the UFC, he lost a million in a day. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| A million. | ||
| Playing, well, it's playing, no, blackjack. | ||
| Yeah, playing blackjack. | ||
| Million. | ||
| Million dollars. | ||
| He won seven million in a day. | ||
| Seven. | ||
| So he's doing crazy shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's very wealthy. | ||
| So, like, the only way he's getting a charge is if he does some crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's madness. | ||
| That's intense. | ||
| That's hand-sweaty. | ||
| I get hand-sweaty talking about that. | ||
| Like, oh, God. | ||
| Because I don't ever want to be that guy, but I could be that guy. | ||
| Like, if I got into gambling... | ||
| I was gambling for a while on the UFC before I decided it probably wasn't a good look. | ||
| This was, like, the early... | ||
| Early 2000s, but the early 2000s, it was stealing money, right? | ||
| Because there was a bunch of guys coming in like Anderson Silva, and I would look at the odds with Anderson Silva over Chris Leib, and I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind? | ||
| This is a 100% fight. | ||
| Like, bet the house on the Brazilian! | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| There was a few of those. | ||
| And I did it for a while, and then I stopped, but my business partner in Onnit, he was gambling all the time, so I would just sit down with him before the fights. | ||
| And so I was like, this way my conscience is clear, but we were like 85, 87%. | ||
| Like, he was stealing money, because I know all these fighters. | ||
| I know the fights. | ||
| Like, there's fights where a guy would be like slightly favored, and I'm like, slightly? | ||
| Like this is a hundred percent fight or there's a guy that was the underdog that like this is totally lopsided This is and still to this day sometimes they get it wrong still to this day I'll look at someone like I'm like how is that guy the underdog doesn't make any sense and then the fight will be like a Domination by the guy was the underdog. | ||
| I'm like, okay I should have bet that yeah, but I don't bet on them But my business partner at on it man. | ||
| We made all he made You know, I made it for him, but we called a lot. | ||
| I mean, literally high 80%. | ||
| It was just stealing money. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's barely gambling. | ||
| That's kind of gambling, but that's like, I mean, it's gambling. | ||
| Fights are crazy. | ||
| Anything can happen, but some shit you know. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I remember hitting you up for tips sometimes before. | ||
| I was like, hey, who do you like going on? | ||
| Did I ever fuck you over? | ||
| Did any of them ever turn bad? | ||
| I think most of them were solid. | ||
| Most of them were solid when I hit you up. | ||
| So it hit me like, oh, me and my uncle should do a gambling podcast. | ||
| Society sort of has some focus. | ||
| He has it from the dealer perspective and he gambles too. | ||
| But he's seen... | ||
| It's a fascinating perspective just to watch from that side where you're facilitating people losing lots of money and you get paid $10, $15 an hour and you're just kind of the messenger or you're helping. | ||
| And so his stories are wild, man. | ||
| And so sitting in quarantine, oh yeah, we should do that. | ||
| Gambling podcast I did, and that's easy to do, and we can do it remotely for now. | ||
| And then we tried one out, and it was a good feeling. | ||
| Oh, yeah, this is a good—this is a dope show. | ||
| It's fun to do, and we can— You know, get other gamblers on and just really talk about it. | ||
| And just, of course, not encourage people. | ||
| I think I got to have something up top. | ||
| This is not an endorsement to gamble. | ||
| I'm just telling a story. | ||
| We do not... | ||
| Gambler, you might lose your shit. | ||
| Don't spend your college money. | ||
| Don't spend your Zoom college money. | ||
| Don't spend your kids' teleconference lecture fun. | ||
| But... | ||
| What was the craziest one he said? | ||
| What's the nuttiest gambles that he saw? | ||
| He's just seen people lose, you know, a few hundred thousand in a quick sitting, you know, just in... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's just seen people really fall apart and people really... | ||
| I was fortunate, but some people really lose their whole lives just on chance, on some cards, on some... | ||
| And they go crazy, too. | ||
| They go crazy. | ||
| They lose, and they can't believe it. | ||
| They just want to jump out of a fucking building. | ||
| That's why when you go to Vegas, all the windows in the casinos, they don't open wide up. | ||
| They don't let you just jump off, because there would be people jumping off every couple of days. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| When Vegas was wide open, all the hundreds of thousands and millions of people coming in there, and how many of them are just blowing insane chunks of cash? | ||
| They don't pay for those places on the buffet. | ||
| That's not what pays for those big buildings. | ||
| It's people gambling. | ||
| People losing. | ||
| Losing. | ||
| I watched this documentary on Amazon that something on the edge, gambling on the edge or something, where he's a card counting guy. | ||
| And it's just, you know, it's just mostly just him getting kicked out of casinos and hitting camera footage because they just come up to him, hey, we don't want your action anymore. | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| You can't count cards. | ||
| You can't be good at what you're doing. | ||
| No, I mean, they're not in that business. | ||
| Hey, they say you can play any game here except for blackjack. | ||
| They kick people out. | ||
| People get beat up. | ||
| They kick Dana out of the palms for winning. | ||
| So he pulled the UFC from the palms. | ||
| I was like, fuck you. | ||
| Oh, because they didn't know it was him? | ||
| They knew it was him. | ||
| They knew it was him. | ||
| They used to have the fights there. | ||
| And then they kicked him out of there. | ||
| They said, you can't gamble here anymore. | ||
| He's like, what? | ||
| You were fine if I lost, but as soon as you win, they'll just put the kibosh on you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's strange. | |
| I mean, the casino business, they were one of the first companies to start asking for four days into the lockdown. | ||
| Y'all been whooping motherfuckers for years and years, and the world shut down for a few days, and you get your hand out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of businesses needed money constantly coming in. | ||
| They can't just exist. | ||
| The way they're set up, they need that. | ||
| And no one ever thought there was going to be something that shut everything down, where no money was coming in for months and months. | ||
| That's never happened. | ||
| You can't make a business model based on something that's never happened before, so everybody thought the money was going to keep flowing in. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| This was actually the first year that I kind of planned out the entire year. | ||
| I had a full-on, okay, January, I was supposed to do the porn awards, but I ended up not doing it. | ||
| Did you get to do the ABN awards? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Yeah, but then last minute I was like, I probably shouldn't do the porn awards. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then February, All-Star Weekend. | ||
| March was South by Southwest. | ||
| April was a 420 thing. | ||
| May was something. | ||
| June was, I was going to go to the Olympics. | ||
| And then, like, I had, you know, I wanted to have one major event each month. | ||
| That was the first time I planned out the year before. | ||
| Just have experiences. | ||
| Yeah, experiences and then kind of build the tour around, you know. | ||
| Go to the Olympics, also do some shows in Korea and around Japan a little bit. | ||
| And then it was like, nope! | ||
| When did you film Miami Nights? | ||
| Miami Nights we filmed August of last year. | ||
| Oh, wow! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why were you holding on to it so long? | ||
| It was just... | ||
| Just getting stuff right. | ||
| We filmed it twice, actually. | ||
| I filmed it in February of last year and then didn't like how it came out. | ||
| And then I did it again, both out-of-pocket shoots. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it was the right decision to do it again. | ||
| How many shows did you film? | ||
| Two shows each time. | ||
| You do four, right? | ||
| I do four now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I did two before, and I did it in Denver. | ||
| The first show, some lady heckled. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god, that bit's dead. | ||
| Now I'm fucked. | ||
| Now I have to get it right on the second show. | ||
| It was a lot of pressure. | ||
| With one bit, though, if you riff... | ||
| It was a big bit. | ||
| Yeah, it was a big bit. | ||
| It was a big bit. | ||
| It was a bit that led up to another bit, too. | ||
| There was a lot to it. | ||
| They piled on together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the way she did it, it was like, oh, come on, prove it! | ||
| It wasn't even a good heckle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was like, just give me some time, dummy. | ||
| I know what I'm doing here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then I did four, and when I did four, I did four for Triggered. | ||
| And I did it out of pocket. | ||
| Like, Netflix had a certain amount budgeted out, but I said, I want to do four. | ||
| And the idea was that if I did four... | ||
| When I went on stage for the first one, it was like it was a regular show. | ||
| I had no nerves. | ||
| I didn't feel like, oh my god, I gotta get this right. | ||
| If I get this right, my second show will be loose. | ||
| I didn't feel that at all. | ||
| I just went out, what's up? | ||
| It was just totally normal. | ||
| Which one did you use most of the footage from? | ||
| Out of four. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| On Triggered, I think it was probably the second night. | ||
| But on Strange Times, my last one, a lot of it was the first show. | ||
| Because I was just so pumped up right out of the gate. | ||
| I was so excited. | ||
| And I was ready. | ||
| Like, I... I've done specials before where I didn't plan enough, but now when I do a special, I treat it like I'm training. | ||
| I want to be like I'm running a marathon. | ||
| I put those miles in. | ||
| So when I get onto that stage the night of the show, everything's oiled up. | ||
| everything's just Greased and smooth and just every words in place and the experience of doing stand-up is so deeply ingrained in me It's just a nightly thing every night two three shows bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang And so when I'm done like I want Saturday night last show like I am fucking done with this material I don't even want to hear these jokes anymore. | ||
| I did it I'm done Nice break. | ||
| Yeah, it uh it So yeah, we filmed in August. | ||
| I did a screening in November, the beginning of November, because I didn't want to send it to folks first to shop. | ||
| I had an event for it. | ||
| I wanted to kind of create an experience around it versus somebody kind of watching it all dry in their office. | ||
| So I threw a party, you know, had We had some weed mint company, weed drinks, you know, food truck. | ||
| We made a mixtape just for the food truck and I wanted to have this whole thing. | ||
| Got some offers, but it just didn't feel great about them. | ||
| And just once, you know, I had an offer in the beginning of March, and then I was sitting on it for a little bit. | ||
| And then in May, I mean, I agreed to, and then I decided I'd rather drop it on my own because the world is crumbling. | ||
| And so I need to mix it up. | ||
| So I'd rather, you know, give it a shot. | ||
| Because if I put it up there, The benefit would have been, oh, I'm touring. | ||
| I'm going to tour in the fall, and it'll fill up. | ||
| The tour will go crazy because it's up there. | ||
| But then that went away, and it's like, well, now it doesn't look as great. | ||
| And so I'd rather gamble on my own and just see what's up. | ||
| So I decided to put it on YouTube and see what's up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's a good move to put things on YouTube. | ||
| I mean, it worked out real great for Andrew Schultz. | ||
| Mark Norman, it worked out real great for him. | ||
| He loves it. | ||
| He's got like more than two million views in like a couple of weeks. | ||
| Yeah, it's been a month of some change for him because I was tracking his just to see how the numbers. | ||
| One thing too is that I could take that shit down. | ||
| I could re-edit actually some bits that I might put that Thailand bit back in there about the king of Thailand. | ||
| So just the freedom to be able to, you know what, this is the other edition. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| And that'd be, oh, I can take this down. | ||
| Here it is with only the French redubbing. | ||
| I have some French voiceover person do the bits and that's going to be up for this week. | ||
| And so it just lets me be creative and try more stuff and And it can still go to one of the places afterwards. | ||
| It's just right now I'm doing what I want with it. | ||
| And you can do it all yourself. | ||
| You can edit it all yourself. | ||
| You don't need anybody. | ||
| I think a lot of comics are going to look to that in terms of accessibility. | ||
| Right now Netflix has the market cornered. | ||
| But Amazon is sneaking in. | ||
| Gaffigan had a real good experience at Amazon, and he said that they got real excited about it. | ||
| They had a lot of views. | ||
| They were very excited. | ||
| It was the most viewed hour they had in a long period of time. | ||
| So he said they're going to do more. | ||
| The thing about doing something on YouTube is everyone can see it. | ||
| The whole world. | ||
| And you see it on your phone. | ||
| Instant. | ||
| Like that. | ||
| Anytime you want. | ||
| You're on a bus, you're on a train, you're driving in your car, you can listen to it. | ||
| Instantly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People share the link more so than they would share the other links. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they share a link and you never have to worry about it if you have the app. | ||
| Everybody has fucking YouTube. | ||
| And even if you don't have it, your browser opens up and you get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, so we worked hard on it, man. | ||
| It's one, just because of the situation with the false arrest. | ||
| It's really super personal because I kind of had to keep living that story every time I told it and then live it in the edit. | ||
| It's just a funny situation, too. | ||
| You're drunk and this guy is arresting you for going back into a bar. | ||
| So it wasn't that bar. | ||
| I hadn't been in that bar. | ||
| You went to a different bar. | ||
| I went to the bar after we spoke. | ||
| I went to the bar, but he was upset about what I said, so he follows me into the bar. | ||
| But then, you know, they cut it on their body cam footage. | ||
| They cut it and made me look crazy. | ||
| He really left his post and followed me to be on bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did he wind up getting fired? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| I think he's still on the force. | ||
| For now. | ||
| That's abusive. | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing. | ||
| It's a lot of... | ||
| It's a lot of emotion and ego. | ||
| Emotion. | ||
| A lot of ego-based policing on the super petty side, you know? | ||
| Where there's obviously the issues on the extreme... | ||
| With the killings, those are terrible. | ||
| But then, there's a lot of motherfuckers that are ruining lives with petty arrests because somebody got to go, they got to miss work or something. | ||
| You don't motherfuckers get mad because they got looked at the wrong way. | ||
| And then people got to go to... | ||
| A cop should be able to handle somebody talking a little shit to them drunk. | ||
| You're a cop in Miami, you should be used to a motherfucker talking a little drunk shit to you without you putting the cuffs on him. | ||
| And if you can't, you shouldn't be a cop. | ||
| You're supposed to be better than us. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Because it's less of you. | ||
| You should be better than us. | ||
| You should have the mental fortitude and not freak out because somebody said some shit that you don't like. | ||
| And you have extreme responsibility. | ||
| You have a gun on your hip in front of everybody. | ||
| It's not like whether or not I don't know you have a gun or you might have a gun. | ||
| No, you definitely have a gun. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| And you're allowed to shoot people. | ||
| You're allowed to. | ||
| It's part of your job. | ||
| You're trained to shoot people. | ||
| It's part of your job. | ||
| You have to be elevated. | ||
| You have to be above normal discourse. | ||
| You have to be able to handle all kinds of shit. | ||
| And the reality is that's not the case with most people that are police officers. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Even that cop, I was walking away from him, but I was just talking hella shit because he just followed me into a bar. | ||
| And so I'm walking away. | ||
| And so that shit was really, you know, I say, I absolutely instigated that situation, but it wasn't an arrestable thing. | ||
| And the cost I had to pay for that is pretty high as far as my public shit on there, just for a drunk night, just for talking some shit. | ||
| I'm on TMZ. I lost some corporate gig because of that, because they just saw it, and they're like, oh, you got arrested? | ||
| They just wiped the gig. | ||
| It was a decent-paying, you know, It was a hockey Hannibal type of gig. | ||
| In that range. | ||
| So it was a rough little time, man, after that. | ||
| So to finally kind of... | ||
| Get the piece out, get the special out. | ||
| Even just putting it out Friday was like a huge weight like none of the other specials because the other special was kind of done on a two-year clock, too. | ||
| And this one filmed it twice, out of pocket. | ||
| It has so many other elements that made it. | ||
| Really heavy. | ||
| And that's... | ||
| And you had to close with that, too. | ||
| Yeah, had to close with it. | ||
| And that's why I threw a COVID party. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| But you got away with it. | ||
| I'm sorry about the party. | ||
| I just needed to blow off some steam! | ||
| Those mushrooms will let you know if you fucked up, too. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| They will let you know. | ||
| They'll drag you. | ||
| They will drag you to the darkest part of your imagination. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It was like, oh, set and setting is super important. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everything. | |
| That's why they say silent darkness is the way to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
At a COVID party. | |
| High on mushrooms thinking you killed everybody. | ||
| Thinking you're going to go to some funerals. | ||
| You're looking at people vibing out and you're like, what did I do? | ||
| This is all me. | ||
| You're like, this is me. | ||
| I did this. | ||
| Man, I don't envy cops. | ||
| I don't, I would not want that job. | ||
| It is a very hard job. | ||
| But I, you know, I'm an optimistic person, generally, but I don't know what's gonna come out on the other end of all this shit. | ||
| This is, get into those kill cliffs, huh? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's legit. | ||
| I don't know what's gonna come out on the other end of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bring Sam Harris now! | |
| Oh, that's Sam Harris! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's right! | |
| I forgot about that. | ||
| For people who don't know, Hannibal and I did a podcast where we got hammered. | ||
| And then I had a podcast afterwards with Sam Harris and I think it was Josh Zeps, who's an Australian TV presenter now. | ||
| And you guys got into it about... | ||
| He was pulling up stats on police brutality or violence with cops. | ||
| And I was like faded. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| I was not in a... | ||
| I should have left after that podcast, but I just stuck around. | ||
| Oh, we were drunk. | ||
| We were drunk. | ||
| I did call him a human PowerPoint presentation. | ||
| There was something. | ||
| I think it was just being so faded, and then that tone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was like, what are you talking about? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's the touchiest subject in all of history. | ||
| Cops killing people. | ||
| That's the touchiest subject. | ||
| You get killed by the people that are supposed to protect you, especially unjustly. | ||
| I mean, nothing else would have made these protests the way they went down like that George Floyd video, to see it so obvious. | ||
| Where there's no ifs, ands, or buts. | ||
| That is what it is. | ||
| It is a cop who's supposed to protect someone. | ||
| He's killing somebody in front of everybody. | ||
| And it's being filmed by a 17-year-old girl. | ||
| It's heavy, man. | ||
| It doesn't get any heavier. | ||
| And that's why the reaction was the way it is. | ||
| It was like a powder keg. | ||
| It's like everything was building up. | ||
| There had always been that. | ||
| There had always been this insane tension. | ||
| And then you see that. | ||
| And it's just like, wah! | ||
| And we're still dealing with it. | ||
| Still dealing with it. | ||
| Months later. | ||
| It's super wild. | ||
| When I was driving to Arizona, I stopped at a gas station to do somebody's Zoom interview thing. | ||
| I just kind of... | ||
| I set up the tripod and my phone on the hood of the car. | ||
| And then I was hyped. | ||
| I was hyped to not be sitting in my computer. | ||
| And I was just, you know, like, look at me, I'm outside. | ||
| But because I had been off of social media, I didn't even know the Joyce Floyd thing had happened until I was driving later, and my friend told me, and she was like, Joyce Floyd in the Minneapolis. | ||
| And so this had been, I think it had been 48 hours or something at this point, but I was on some interview like, Hey, what's going on? | ||
| I'm outside. | ||
| Just completely oblivious and just happy to be traveling and shit and not knowing what I was like maybe 45 minutes away from knowing what was happening in the world and shit. | ||
| So they told you? | ||
| They didn't tell me, but they probably were wondering why I was acting so loosey-goosey. | ||
| Did you have that jacket on? | ||
| I did not have this. | ||
| What did I have on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I had some dope... | ||
| I had some shades on. | ||
| It was a real... | ||
| I was genuinely joyful at just being on the road and having that feeling again. | ||
| And then I found out an hour later, and it was like, oh, I probably look kind of crazy right there. | ||
| A little jaded. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, but it's... | ||
| I mean, how often are you off social media like that? | ||
| Is that a normal thing for you? | ||
| It was... | ||
| Well, it was the beginning of COVID. I had to kind of... | ||
| That's when I just got into that zone and I was like, turn this off. | ||
| If you want to get some stuff up, just send it to your folks. | ||
| Have them post it up. | ||
| And then it's better when I get in that zone anyway because it's more like operating like a quarterback than it is just being in it. | ||
| You know, just like, hey, let's do this, this day, this day, this day, this day. | ||
| And then I'm able to just... | ||
| Do whatever I want, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Just finish writing up the treatment for who said that versus, like, looking at tweets, you know what I mean? | ||
| You serious about it said that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's the longest running joke ever. | |
| Callbacks, man. | ||
| It's all about callbacks. | ||
| It's just a three-hour podcast. | ||
| You got to keep it weaving it in. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| So you did the interview, and then you found out afterwards. | ||
| Found out afterwards. | ||
| Did you want to call them back and go, hey, I didn't know? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| And then I get to my sister's house, and it's on the TV, and it's heavy, man. | ||
| It's super heavy. | ||
| But it's really just the training and the... | ||
| It just needs to be a high level of training. | ||
| I talked to Jocko Willink. | ||
| He's a former Navy SEAL and a commander, and he said that they should be training 20% of their time. | ||
| He said that they train for a very short amount of time in the beginning of their career, and then they don't train anymore. | ||
| He said they should be training 20% of their time on the force. | ||
| While they're there, they should be going over how to defuse situations. | ||
| They should be going over how to keep people safe. | ||
| What's your objective? | ||
| What are you trying to do? | ||
| When you come up to a drive, if you're emotional, if your partner's emotional, you got to see that and step in. | ||
| You defuse that situation and you step in and go, hey Mike, let me talk to this guy. | ||
| And then you come in and you be a nice guy. | ||
| Figure out a way. | ||
| If you see someone abusing someone, you gotta step in, step in, relieve him, and you take over. | ||
| And figure out a way to do it where the guy doesn't have to lose face, but you can keep everybody safe. | ||
| And figure out a way where they can train these people where shit like this doesn't happen. | ||
| We're in this time where these fucking people, they go to work every day wondering if they're gonna die. | ||
| They go to work every day pulling people over. | ||
| They're all freaked out. | ||
| You never know what day's gonna be your last. | ||
| If you're a cop, you're seeing people get shot every fucking day. | ||
| I mean, I can't imagine. | ||
| To look at it from their perspective, to look at it with the rosiest of rose-colored glasses, I can't imagine. | ||
| That you're walking up on suicide victims, murder victims, you're walking up on robbery victims, you're constantly around violence and death and crime. | ||
| They're all PTSD'd out. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think most cops have extreme PTSD. And some of them can handle it. | ||
| Some of them can just handle it. | ||
| And there's a lot of them that are good people. | ||
| And then there's a lot of them that should have never been fucking cops in the first place. | ||
| There should have been a more stringent process. | ||
| That guy in the George Floyd case, you know they got into it when they worked together. | ||
| Yeah, because the cop was abusive. | ||
| He was abusive to customers. | ||
| And George Floyd and him got into it because of that. | ||
| So there was a personal element to it. | ||
| I don't want that job. | ||
| You don't want that job. | ||
| I mean, fuck that job. | ||
| But the people that get that job, we've got to figure out a way to make it Safer for them, better for them, better training, and safer for everybody else. | ||
| And I don't know what the fucking solution is. | ||
| No one does. | ||
| That's why we're all in chaos. | ||
| And the people running around, defund the police, like, whew. | ||
| Okay, do you know what that's like? | ||
| That's like New York City right now, where people are getting shot left and right. | ||
| Did you see, like, the stats in New York City? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| It was on the cover of the New York Post. | ||
| See if you can find that about the amount of shootings. | ||
| 41 people shot over the weekend, 9 killed. | ||
| Something crazy like that. | ||
| When they said they've never had it like this. | ||
| This is like since the 80s is the worst gun violence weekend they've had in the history of the police force. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Why do you... | ||
| But the police... | ||
| Because they all hate the mayor. | ||
| The mayor wants the cops to stand down. | ||
| Cops are quitting left and right. | ||
| The cops don't feel like they're supported by the mayor. | ||
| The mayor is like this super progressive, you know, really liberal guy who... | ||
| The police officers have no respect for them. | ||
| And they're quitting. | ||
| They don't want to do this. | ||
| And then you've got people that don't think that they're in a place that's being policed. | ||
| And so they're just going wild. | ||
| They don't think the cops are coming. | ||
| They don't think anybody's going to stop them. | ||
| And then, you know, obviously with the COVID and the lockdown, how many people are out of work? | ||
| How many people are broke? | ||
| How many people are just on tilt, just starving and not knowing where their fucking money's coming from and super tense? | ||
| Damn, man. | ||
| So you can't defund the police. | ||
| We don't want to live in Mad Max. | ||
| We don't want to live in Mad Max. | ||
| We want more funding for the police. | ||
| Better education for the police. | ||
| And we all gotta come to some sort of a fucking agreement. | ||
| Cops are us. | ||
| Mandatory meditation for the police. | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| Mushrooms for all cops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have to... | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The cops gotta go to Joshua Tree. | ||
| Mandatory mushroom training. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I feel like the mandatory mushrooms could help. | ||
| Everybody, including politicians. | ||
| Mandatory mushrooms for politicians. | ||
| I want to be in the room with, like, Governor Newsom of California. | ||
| I want to be in the room when that guy eats five grams. | ||
| I want to see how he freaks out. | ||
| How do you handle it? | ||
| We should all be able to watch you eat five grams. | ||
| I want to know who you are. | ||
| When the devil comes knocking at your door... | ||
| The floor is lava. | ||
| Did you find the cover? | ||
| Well, it said tripled over the week compared to the year before. | ||
| And that's all it was comparing it to. | ||
| Well, just the numbers, though. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It was 101 compared to 26. 101 people shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, I was wrong. | ||
| I thought it was 40. Damn. | ||
| 101 people shot over a weekend. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That is fucking crazy. | ||
| I mean, for New York, though. | ||
| New York City's going to skyrocket as court closures let pistol perps walk free. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| There's like 1,800 people, I think, that have some sort of charge that haven't been fully charged because the courts are in, you know, lockdown chaos because of the COVID. Chaos! | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| 1,000 people have been indicted with a gun possession charge where the cases are open and they are walking around the streets of New York City today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| There's 800 more that have been charged and not formally indicted yet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| That's just in New York City. | ||
| Oh my god, that's madness. | ||
| 2,000 shooters running around New York. | ||
| Just think of that. | ||
| You can't defund the police, folks. | ||
| All that crazy, progressive, Marxist nonsense of defunding the police. | ||
| Stop! | ||
| You want to be safe. | ||
| You want everybody to be safe. | ||
| You just want the police to be way better at what they're doing. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| And they're gonna need funding for that. | ||
| Seems counterintuitive, right? | ||
| Like if cops are abusive, they shouldn't get money. | ||
| But that's, it's not going to the cops. | ||
| It needs to go to education and they need to figure out how to do it better. | ||
| What am I, a cop educator? | ||
| The fuck am I talking about? | ||
| You coming to me for cop advice? | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
| I'm a pothead and a cage fighting commentator. | ||
| You coming to me for cop advice? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's gonna be the fall. | ||
| That's why I'm trying to get out of here. | ||
| It's a good move. | ||
| Get out of here by November. | ||
| No matter who wins in November, it's gonna be madness. | ||
| Yeah, I wanna just... | ||
| I wanna... | ||
| I don't wanna hear about no more, you know, versions of... | ||
| This. | ||
| We're not calling it urban music anymore. | ||
| Aunt Jemima Pancakes are racist Everything. | ||
| It's just the changes. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's the grandstanding part of it. | ||
| And it's tough to gauge. | ||
| I mean, most of it is just... | ||
| You know, they want their company to do well. | ||
| So they look at, oh, let's do it. | ||
| And so on. | ||
| And then the politicians are playing off it both ways. | ||
| You have some politicians that are playing off it. | ||
| They're supporting that. | ||
| And then some politicians like Trump, he's upset that the Washington Redskins and the Cleveland Indians are going to change their name now. | ||
| What are the Redskins? | ||
| The Redskins finally, they finally broke? | ||
| It looks like they're breaking. | ||
| They're talking about break-in, but what are they going to call themselves? | ||
| Like, what's offensive? | ||
| The Trump faces? | ||
| Washington Trump faces. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're the Washington spray tans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're not the Redskins. | ||
| What are they going to call themselves? | ||
| Do we know? | ||
| There's a bunch of names, but a lot of the professional soccer teams, or football and Premier League, they could just be the Washington FC football club, literally, and just be the city team. | ||
| Do you know how valuable those Redskins jerseys are going to be? | ||
| They'll make new ones without Redskins on it now. | ||
| I know, but the old Redskins jerseys are going to be so valuable. | ||
| Yeah, well, they're not selling them anywhere now. | ||
| Amazon took them all off. | ||
| Nike took it all off. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Within the last couple of weeks? | ||
| Within the last couple of days. | ||
| Somebody's about to start making some on Etsy. | ||
| What I thought was crazy was NASCAR just removed the Confederate flag. | ||
| They just did it! | ||
| Just recently. | ||
| Last week? | ||
| Yeah, it was the Bubba Wallace thing. | ||
| Just recently. | ||
| I didn't think it was still there. | ||
| Hey, while everybody's looking, let us do this real quick. | ||
| Let's get this up out of here. | ||
| That's the last round. | ||
| You know, it's interesting, man. | ||
| It's weird where this is all gonna end. | ||
| Because there's gonna be an adjustment, right? | ||
| There's an overcorrection, and then there's an adjustment, and things come forward and back, and, you know, we want to get to a place where people are just cool with each other. | ||
| And we're not there. | ||
| And I'll be on my farm in Ghana, you know, directing films, and just living off my who-said-that-money. | ||
| Doing my gambling podcast. | ||
| Do they have stand-up in Ghana? | ||
| Have you checked on that? | ||
| They do. | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| And then in Nigeria, I did some stand-up in Nigeria. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| There's a comedian, Basket Mouth, that hosted us over there and did some shows with him. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people perform in Pigeon English. | ||
| Ah. | ||
| So, one of the shows I went to, I didn't know what the fuck was being said, but this guy's a solid performer. | ||
| His delivery sounds airtight, but I'm getting nothing. | ||
| And so you went and did your stand-up, but did they not understand you? | ||
| No, they understand English, but people perform in Pigeon. | ||
| Oh, so they preferred you to perform in Pigeon, and when you were just doing it in regular English, it didn't work with them? | ||
| No, it worked. | ||
| It's just if I performed in Pigeon, that would have went well. | ||
| But I did a set—it's just one of those things, too, where, you know, they want to— Well, I don't know what they wanted, but when you talk about outsider perspective on stuff, then they, you know, oh, okay. | ||
| He's talking about, oh, yeah, he dealt with our traffic. | ||
| He dealt with this. | ||
| He saw this. | ||
| You know, just hearing an American come in and speak on Lagos, which was... | ||
| It's bonkers. | ||
| It took four hours to get from the airport to the hotel. | ||
| The traffic in Lagos is insane. | ||
| Is it like one of those places where people don't pay attention to lights? | ||
| Lights. | ||
| I mean, the traffic's so crazy on the highway that people sell stuff on the highway, like on a fucking six-laner. | ||
| It's people walking, selling snacks. | ||
| I think I bought banana chips or something, just a snack on. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's real? | ||
| Lagos traffic is... | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Bonkers. | ||
| It's like if New York only had the BQE and that's it. | ||
| That's kind of what... | ||
| Cars are parked sideways. | ||
| On the highway. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just gave up. | ||
| They have tents. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| They have umbrellas. | ||
| It's an existential level of traffic. | ||
| Well, I guess this is it. | ||
| I'm here now. | ||
| Four hours. | ||
| Four hours from airport to hotel. | ||
| And how far are you going? | ||
| Probably no traffic. | ||
| It's 30, 40 minutes. | ||
| It was, yeah. | ||
| That is fucking insane. | ||
| These images. | ||
| Jamie, what are you Googling so people can Google along with you? | ||
| Legos Nigeria traffic. | ||
| Folks, this is insane. | ||
| There's people standing in the middle of the highway with umbrellas. | ||
| And not a few people. | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, this is crazy. | |
| Oh my god, it's everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, and you know, some stuff you take for granted over here, the emission standards, you just accept them. | ||
| But I remember we were behind a semi-truck, and it let off some shit into the sky. | ||
| That was so smoky and terrible. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| My friend Babylon said, he said, Captain Planet would have a fit with this shit just because the smoke was so crazy. | ||
| This video is, what is this video titled? | ||
| That's a slum. | ||
| My beloved slum. | ||
| It's a 4K drone video. | ||
| And this is all water. | ||
| So these houses are in water. | ||
| Just barely above the water on sticks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is fucking crazy. | |
| Everything's on fire. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Oh my god, this is madness. | ||
| But it's amazing that so many people live there. | ||
| And then, you know, this is just what they accept. | ||
| People just get used to a certain way of living. | ||
| And for them, I mean, it's probably normal life. | ||
| For you or for us, we go there and we're like, what the fuck? | ||
| But once you're in the mix, the shit is dope. | ||
| I had a great time and, you know, going to different spots and hanging out. | ||
| What's the food like there? | ||
| Food is great. | ||
| It's a lot of spice, some stuff. | ||
| But I haven't been to Ghana yet, so I'm excited about Ghana. | ||
| Yeah, Lagos is an intense spot. | ||
| China has been investing in buying up a lot of... | ||
| They've been investing all over Africa, kind of building infrastructure everywhere, they say. | ||
| Yeah, they're doing a lot in the Congo as well. | ||
| There's a lot of mineral rights and stuff they're taking there, a lot of precious elements and stuff, things that they use for cell phones and all kinds of stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've never been to any place like that, but I've been to Mexico City, and I was stunned by the air quality there, too. | ||
| Mexico City is madness, man. | ||
| I took photos of it, and I put it up on my Instagram. | ||
| It looks like I'm flying into a fire. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
| As I was flying in, I was like, this does not even look real. | ||
| It looks like you could barely see the buildings, because it's just... | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's not a fire. | ||
| That's my phone out the window. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Wait, are you saying the smoke? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All that smoke in the background? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's all just emissions. | ||
| That's not a fire. | ||
| Like you can see like a mile or two out and that's it. | ||
| Everything else is just clouds. | ||
| But it's just, it's just exhausts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of the big cities, a lot of the cities in India are the same issue. | ||
| Bangkok. | ||
| I remember I had an option to maybe take a 7 or 8 minute Uber or do a 15, 20 minute walk from somewhere to my hotel in Bangkok. | ||
| I did the walk, but when I got back to the hotel, I felt filthy. | ||
| I felt the pollution on my skin. | ||
| It was my worst walk decision ever. | ||
| Look at that image from Bangkok. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Goddamn, that's crazy. | ||
| That's like you're in the middle of a raging forest fire. | ||
| Like, you can't... | ||
| Yeah, I remember just getting there, man. | ||
| I had to take a shower just from that walk. | ||
| Because you're sweating, man. | ||
| It was next level. | ||
| When I was in Mexico City, I got a headache. | ||
| I was like, I'm getting a headache just from the air. | ||
| And plus it's that altitude. | ||
| Mexico's pretty high up there. | ||
| And that was for the UFC fights, which was really crazy because they're at like 8,000 feet above sea level. | ||
| So there's thin air and then bad air. | ||
| It's a combination of both things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So they train it in... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, some of them, like Fabrizio Verdum, that was when he beat Cain Velasquez. | ||
| He went up into the mountains, and he trained actually higher than 8,000 feet above sea level. | ||
| And he went up there way in advance so he could acclimate. | ||
| And he was in superb shape because of that. | ||
| And then Cain, who's usually known for his cardio, actually gassed out. | ||
| Cain didn't know that he was training like that. | ||
| Cain couldn't go there early. | ||
| He came out like two weeks out, and that's not enough. | ||
| They say you're actually better off going there the day of than going there two weeks of. | ||
| Two weeks before, because two weeks before, you're not going to acclimate. | ||
| You're actually just going to be tired. | ||
| You know, because your body's still trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. | ||
| Why is there no air? | ||
| We're lucky, man. | ||
| We're lucky. | ||
| China is even worse in some cities, man. | ||
| There was one city that I saw in China where there was so much pollution in this video that it looked like the sky, like it was nighttime, and it was during the day, and it was just coal, just burning coal in the air, just particulates. | ||
| The air was like a dark gray. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| See if you find that. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| It's weird to look at, because you imagine if that was your mom living there, or your daughter, or your family. | ||
| This is where you have to survive, and you have to look up into that sky every day. | ||
| It's like a Judge Dredd movie, you know? | ||
| It's doom. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I struggled just in Denver when I was out of shape, and I had a gig in Denver, and I was drinking a little bit. | ||
| At one point, I started forgetting jokes. | ||
| And I hadn't smoked a drink before the show, but I was blanking out. | ||
| And then in another show, my breath showed up. | ||
| I had to step off stage to go get my inhaler. | ||
| I told Tony Turner, DJ, I said, hey man, play something real quick. | ||
| He started scrambling and shit. | ||
| You have asthma? | ||
| Yeah, I have asthma. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That would fucking suck. | ||
| Asthma at high altitude? | ||
| Yeah, asthma at high altitude and in bad shape is a terrible combination. | ||
| Have you found any of that shit from China? | ||
| In the middle of looking, I had to pee and I was about to go around and pee. | ||
| We can wrap this up. | ||
| We're almost at 6 o'clock. | ||
| And that's when we find out. | ||
| That's when we find out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do I got the COVID? Do I have it? | |
| I don't think so. | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| Put it in your bet. | ||
| Send it to my Venmo. | ||
| Miami Nights available right now. | ||
| Miami Nights available on YouTube. | ||
| Next time when you're coming back from Ghana, I need to know. | ||
| I need to know what that was like. | ||
| We need to talk. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I'm going to write a book. | ||
| Have you ever thought about writing a book before this? | ||
| I have. | ||
| I had a book deal in 2013. What happened? | ||
| I realized that I would have to write a book. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then I was like, I don't want to do that. | |
| It's a lot of work. | ||
| I have a lot of respect for people who have done it. | ||
| Because that's a thing. | ||
| If you're an author, you've really done it. | ||
| You really wrote a book. | ||
| That's a big deal. | ||
| It's just, you know, I think it's... | ||
| Once you lock in on what you want it to be and then just force yourself to focus. | ||
| My friends who've done it though, like Tom Popo or Norton or Whitney, they say it's fucking brutally hard. | ||
| It's a lot of work. | ||
| It's an extreme amount of effort. | ||
| Did they work with... | ||
| I wonder... | ||
| I guess it's finding a good editor too and just what the angle is. | ||
| Just write down everything. | ||
| Just kind of let it fly and then cut it down. | ||
| I had a book deal once. | ||
| The editors, it was so annoying. | ||
| Talking to them they essentially wanted me to take my stand up at one point in time just transcribe it and I was like I'm not doing that and like their idea of what it wanted to be Or what they wanted it to be versus my idea. | ||
| I just gave them the money back I'm like I'm not doing it. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That was like more than ten years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that was before the podcast even Damn Yeah, so probably... | |
| I'm gonna do it. | ||
| Actually, we were supposed to do a... | ||
| People still hit me up about... | ||
| We talked about doing a gig. | ||
| Was it Newfoundland or was it somewhere else? | ||
| Something crazy like that. | ||
| It might have been Newfoundland. | ||
| Was it Newfoundland or was it... | ||
| It wasn't Nova Scotia. | ||
| Somewhere weird. | ||
| Somewhere weird, somewhere Canadian. | ||
| I'm still down for that. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| When things get normal. | ||
| 2021, when I'm back. | ||
| Back from Ghana. | ||
| Back next fall. | ||
| The King of Ghana tour. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Come see The King of Ghana in Nova Scotia! | ||
| Well, thank you, sir. | ||
| Always a pleasure, brother. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| And your YouTube special is available right now. | ||
| Anybody can check it out. | ||
| And The King of Ghana will be released in December of 2021. Good night, everybody. | ||
| Stay tuned for Who Said That? | ||
| Who Said That? |
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