April 29, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:25:41
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Three, two, one. | ||
| Jessie Mae. | ||
| Rogan. | ||
| Good to see you. | ||
| Joseph. | ||
| Do people call you Joseph? | ||
| My mom does. | ||
| Oh, that's sweet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's your middle name? | ||
| She's basically it. | ||
| James. | ||
| Joseph James. | ||
| Sounds like an author. | ||
| Maybe I should write books. | ||
| I can't believe you haven't written a book. | ||
| I tried. | ||
| I started doing one a long time ago. | ||
| I had a deal for a book like 12 years ago. | ||
| And the dealing with the editors was so gross. | ||
| They basically wanted me to just transcribe stand-up. | ||
| And I wanted to write a bunch of weird shit. | ||
| Didn't Judy Carter already do that? | ||
| Bah! | ||
| Do you remember that book? | ||
| Is that the worst genre ever? | ||
| Books on how to do stand-up? | ||
| They might be the most piss-poor books ever. | ||
| Belzer had a pretty good one. | ||
| Belzer had a decent one. | ||
| I think it was... | ||
| He had a couple of them. | ||
| He had one on stand-up and he had one on UFOs, Bigfoot, and JFK. Belzer is a great... | ||
| Those all go together. | ||
| Do you know him, Richard Belzer? | ||
| I don't know him personally, but he's a legend for sure. | ||
| He's a crazy conspiracy theorist. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Off the deep end. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is he, like, rate him with Sam Tripoli? | ||
| Is it just as crazy? | ||
| No, maybe more. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Yeah, he's... | ||
| I don't know if they believe in the same things. | ||
| Because it's funny, like, there's, like, classifications of conspiracy theorists. | ||
| Like, some conspiracy theorists are balls deep in, like, JFK. But you try to bring up 5G, and they're like, get the fuck out of here with your 5G. So is Marilyn Monroe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Balls deep in JFK. It was a little sex joke. | ||
| I mean, well, I guess he was balls deep in her. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| But I mean, who knows? | ||
| Who knows what they were into behind closed doors? | ||
| She could have strapped one. | ||
| That's a good conspiracy theory, too. | ||
| Do you think they killed her? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| 100%, right? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Snitches, bitches get snitches. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| There's stitches that happen with bitches. | ||
| Snitches get stitches. | ||
| Bitches who are snitches get stitches. | ||
| Yeah, or no stitches because you're just dead. | ||
| Yeah, you're dead. | ||
| You get the ultimate stitch of life. | ||
| Which is just done. | ||
| For sure they killed her. | ||
| So if you were going to write a book today, what would it be about? | ||
| Oh, I don't know if I would do it today. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe this is what I should be doing right now during this COVID time. | ||
| But I'm using it as an excuse to... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm not working on stand-up at all. | ||
| This is the first time in forever. | ||
| No writing. | ||
| I haven't written anything. | ||
| Do you feel like it's relaxing or do you feel any anxiety about having that detached from your day-to-day routine? | ||
| That's not the anxiety. | ||
| The anxiety is the world. | ||
| The anxiety is what's happening right now. | ||
| General existentialism? | ||
| Well, just the fact that the economy has come to a complete screeching halt and all these people are losing their jobs and all these people are losing their businesses and we're not exactly sure what to do because there's the hardcore people that are like, fuck it, open it up, keep the women and the old people safe. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
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I know. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| We're fucking fine. | ||
| First of all, stop making us so weak, okay? | ||
| Why are we grouped into old, haggard people? | ||
| I shouldn't have said women. | ||
| Most people aren't saying. | ||
| I made that up. | ||
| What people are saying is old people. | ||
| No, but you're right. | ||
| It is a thing. | ||
| Well, you know, women and children first. | ||
| Yeah, which we should be, for sure. | ||
| Well, in the Titanic, you were. | ||
| Yeah, in the Titanic, we were. | ||
| That's why everybody loves Leonardo DiCaprio, because he died for her. | ||
| Paint me like your little French girl. | ||
| Yeah, but meanwhile, I'm like, can't you both get on that fucking raft? | ||
|
unidentified
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I know! | |
| It's not that. | ||
| It's lying on top of each other. | ||
| You're already making out. | ||
| Like, what's... | ||
| Picked his little frozen hands off and shoved him into the belly of the ocean. | ||
| Get out of here, fucker. | ||
| Get a sign on the paper first. | ||
| Nice drawing. | ||
| You could write something about parenting. | ||
| I mean, it must be interesting for you to be raising daughters in this climate. | ||
| Well, I think raising sons in this climate would be just as interesting and just as weird. | ||
| Just raising humans in this climate, what no one's ever done before. | ||
| Raising kids with full-time electronics and the internet from the time they're babies. | ||
| The good stuff is you can't bullshit people as much. | ||
| There's access to information. | ||
| Like we're trying to figure out today, just now, how many people died in the 1918 flu. | ||
| And you said it best. | ||
| You're like, there's no unanswered questions anymore. | ||
| You can't ponder. | ||
| Wondering and wonderment is a thing of the past. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| It's still there, but you can get answers. | ||
| You know, it's like you could search shit down and get answers. | ||
| So what was it, the number, like 50 million died in the 1980s? | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| I mean, that's a huge number. | ||
| But the thing that we were talking about also is, I guess I just don't understand. | ||
| I understand that this disease has a lot of unknown factors, but there are so many other things that are detrimental to our society that it's wild that it took this sort of situation to bring everything to a screeching halt globally. | ||
| It's a little scary. | ||
| And it's scary that we're using so much resources to deal with it. | ||
| I know we need to, but then, okay, after this, are we going to start to apply those resources to deal with child sex trafficking that happens in the country, to deal with homelessness, to deal with these other issues? | ||
| Is this going to be a sort of Kickstarter to be like, okay, let's get our shit together as a global society instead of living in our own tribal existences, which doesn't work. | ||
| It doesn't work anymore. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| You made me smoke the blunt. | ||
| Yeah, but you're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Maybe that is what we'll do next. | ||
| Maybe... | ||
| Listen. | ||
| 500,000 people in this country alone die prematurely because of cigarettes. | ||
| And we're just like, well, you know, whatever. | ||
| Imagine if it was Kool-Aid. | ||
| If Kool-Aid was killing half a million a year. | ||
| Well, Kool-Aid is. | ||
| Imagine if Diet Coke. | ||
| But it's not. | ||
| Sugar kills a lot of fuckers. | ||
| But yes, it does. | ||
| It does. | ||
| But... | ||
| Not as clearly as cigarettes. | ||
| Like you can be healthy and occasionally enjoy Kool-Aid. | ||
| I agree, but don't you think sugar is just as addictive as nicotine? | ||
| It's very addictive. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I think if we look at it from a broader spectrum, they're both equally as bad and killed just as many people. | ||
| They do kill a lot of people. | ||
| But I see what you're saying. | ||
| I don't think they kill as many because I think heart attacks is higher right now. | ||
| I guess you would have to lump diabetes in there too, right? | ||
| You would, absolutely. | ||
| And what's the highest killer? | ||
| Heart attacks. | ||
| Heart attacks was number one until COVID. COVID took the number one spot on the chart. | ||
|
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Coming in at number one, COVID-19. | |
| Coming in, number 19, straight out of Wuhan. | ||
| He's quick with the slips. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Killing bitches. | ||
| And sneaky. | ||
| Yeah, sneaky. | ||
| Sneaky disease that kills healthy people, and then old people survive it like it's nothing, and then it kills an entire nursing home full of people, and then young people get it and die from it, and old people get it and brush it off, and some people have zero symptoms at all, as many as 50% or more. | ||
| Yeah, it's wild. | ||
| It's like the crack of diseases. | ||
| It's like a bunch of diseases. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It does have a lot of characteristics of multiple diseases, and that's a scary factor for me. | ||
| But I'm always grossed out. | ||
| I mean, you and I travel. | ||
| We used to. | ||
| Yeah, we used to travel. | ||
| Remember comedy? | ||
| But are you enjoying the not flying all the time? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| How good is it for your body? | ||
| Dude, I feel like I look like 15 now. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I'm chilling. | ||
| I got my plumpness back. | ||
| Sleep is amazing. | ||
| I don't have to deal with farticles anymore and fucking airplanes. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Dude, I don't know what it is about flying. | ||
| I'm sure it's the pressure and the pressurized cabin. | ||
| People love to fart on airplanes. | ||
| God, they let it rip on airplanes and that's COVID in my face. | ||
| I'm fine with not dealing with the farts anymore. | ||
| Imagine if it was killing people, if farts were killing people. | ||
| If a guy could fart on a plane and half the people on the plane died. | ||
| You should have met my dad. | ||
|
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A couple of those cookies would have ripped you right out of your seat. | |
| There's something about old man farts. | ||
| Oh, they're great. | ||
| They're legendary. | ||
| You know, it's something funny about when you walk into a supermarket right behind an old guy who crop dusted you and you're like, you motherfucker. | ||
| You're not even mad at him, though. | ||
| You can't be mad at him. | ||
| That fart went to Vietnam. | ||
| That was a fart that maybe, you know, fought some wars. | ||
| He deserves it. | ||
|
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People that have been through war have got to be like, what are we doing? | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, if you've been through war and then everyone shut the disease down, people are coughing. | ||
| Wait. | ||
| This is what we're worried about? | ||
| Obviously it's a terrible disease. | ||
| I'm making light of it. | ||
| But it's a terrible disease sometime, which is weird. | ||
| It's like, you know, car accidents are car accidents, right? | ||
| Your car gets hit by a train. | ||
| It's the same thing every time. | ||
| Yeah, it's an isolated situation. | ||
| But it's terrible every time. | ||
| Every time. | ||
| This is terrible, like a car hitting a train sometimes. | ||
| People just die. | ||
| And then for other people, it's literally nothing. | ||
| Yeah, it's really wild. | ||
| It's an inconsistent disease. | ||
| And it's also, I just don't understand how much longer we're going to be shut down. | ||
| I mean, the economy is struggling so much over this fucking disease. | ||
| Not just struggling, like broken. | ||
| Yes, this broke us. | ||
| They're going to have to rebuild it, and it could take a long time. | ||
| It scares me listening to these experts talk about it. | ||
| What scares you the most about the current situation? | ||
| Well, it's always gonna be a new disease and loss of life. | ||
| That's number one, right? | ||
| So number one is we're all scared because this disease is super infectious. | ||
| It's just running through like old folks homes. | ||
| There was one old folks home. | ||
| I believe they said 70 people died in this one old folks home. | ||
| And that's terrible on another level because those people can't bury their family the way they need to or want to. | ||
| The grieving process is interrupted by the protocol. | ||
| Yeah, you can't even visit them in the hospital. | ||
| Yeah, that's that's really brutal and that for that fact It makes me really sad for families that are losing loved ones like that older people. | ||
| That's why it's so crazy It's almost like and this is a ridiculous way to put it, but I'm gonna do it anyway do it if you were intact if this country was attacked by an invasion of demons And they were all interconnected. | ||
| We did. | ||
| It was the Kardashians. | ||
| It already happened. | ||
| It was a fucking genocide for women. | ||
| It already happened. | ||
| Sorry, sorry. | ||
| Continue. | ||
| You're making a good point. | ||
| That's what it would be like. | ||
| It's like some people don't even get haunted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some people just get a little bit of a demon. | ||
| And then some people get the full wrath of Satan himself. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| I was reading about this guy who was on an incubator for more than 30 days. | ||
| And it was a terrifying account. | ||
| It was in Massachusetts. | ||
| All these different ways they were doing, different methods they were doing to try to revive this guy. | ||
| One thing it made me think is like, thank God there's people out there that can do this, that know how to keep a guy like this a lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A guy who was a young guy. | ||
| He was like in his late 30s, I believe, maybe 40s. | ||
| And he was married with little kids. | ||
| And, you know, it was a terrible story. | ||
| But they figured it out. | ||
| And they used some crazy machine that was bypassing his heart and his lungs. | ||
| Like it had to go in through his leg and like into a major artery, I think, or something like that. | ||
| And they had to keep him like basically in a coma, like so that he doesn't move. | ||
| Like an induced coma to keep him. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| They're just trying to pump air into him. | ||
| Oh my God, it's terrifying. | ||
| Yeah, that is terrifying. | ||
| That's why this disease is so strange. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I laugh because you made a good point about we're lucky to have people who know how to handle this. | ||
| I feel like that, you know, with social media and everything, those jobs are not as appealing to people. | ||
| And who knows in like 50 years of another thing like this and we're lucky enough to be alive and it hits us. | ||
| Instagram influencers aren't going to be able to intubate anybody. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like the girls selling fit tea won't be able to help us. | ||
| And imagine if your job was, if you thought your job was to help people, which is what most nurses and first responders, I mean, their job is, hey, you know, I'm going to do a good thing for the community. | ||
| I'm going to do a good thing for people. | ||
| I'm going to be there to help people when they're ill. | ||
| I'm going to treat them. | ||
| I'm going to help them survive and recover. | ||
| Like, that's a beautiful thing. | ||
| But to go from that to all of a sudden you're on the front line of this infectious virus war and you could get bit. | ||
| You can get bit, and there's not enough PPE in all these places, and it's really scary. | ||
| That's the scariest part. | ||
| We don't even have the fucking equipment for these people. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| They have more equipment now than they ever had before, but they just never saw this coming. | ||
| There was a pandemic department, apparently. | ||
| What do we know about that? | ||
| It was canceled during the Trump administration? | ||
| They canceled the pandemic? | ||
| I believe, yeah. | ||
| What I read was that there was like a team in place at the transition that since that time, which would have been three years ago by now, those people are no longer at the jobs that they had. | ||
| So they would have probably had other positions maybe in the White House or other places. | ||
| But does the actual position exist anymore? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| From what I read, no. | ||
| Or like, I don't even know if it was like an actual position. | ||
| I think it was like a team. | ||
| It's hard to not think about conspiracy when you hear that that team was just shut down and that department was just shut down and then this happens. | ||
| I'm not a big conspiracy theorist, but I understand where people might go, wait a minute, hold on. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think it's a conspiracy. | ||
| I think it's incompetence. | ||
| I think, you know, there's been scientists for years, even Bill Gates. | ||
| Bill Gates in, I think it was 2015, a very famous, was it 2015? | ||
| Did that TED Talk? | ||
| Oh yeah, that TED talk about saying how it wasn't going to be like war. | ||
| It was going to be about a microscopic war. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Which is what we're at right now. | ||
| I've heard this from so many independent sources. | ||
| I think that's exactly what it is, really. | ||
| I think they just didn't see it coming. | ||
| And it's just incompetence. | ||
| They didn't treat it with the respect that it deserved because it's not in their face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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Right? | |
| If you're a person deciding what to spend money on... | ||
| And you're running something like the United States of America. | ||
| There's some fucking wacky decisions you have to make, you know? | ||
| And someone, whoever it was, made the call that we don't need that. | ||
| I mean, I don't even know if that's true. | ||
| Maybe the money was diverted or it was diverted into some sort of another program or something. | ||
| But they just didn't see it coming. | ||
| I guess it would be hard to see something like this coming and it's like preparing for the thing that you can't imagine would be hard to prepare for. | ||
| And it's going to be an interesting thing because, like, for our ability to look back at ancient civilizations, it's a little difficult because of the lack of technology available then to record incidents happening. | ||
| But for us right now, this is all being recorded. | ||
| And maybe there'll be a differentiation in the advancements with technology, but I wonder what future generations are going to know and decipher from this situation that we're in right now. | ||
| Like, didn't they see that coming? | ||
| You know, that sort of situation where they're like, How did they not see this happening? | ||
| How did they not know this was going to happen? | ||
| Because we have a really weird inability to pay attention to anything that doesn't affect us immediately. | ||
| Yeah, that's strange. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| But it's a characteristic of human beings that's probably got some sort of evolutionary benefit. | ||
| Like, concentrate on what you're concentrating on. | ||
| Don't see the big picture. | ||
| Because if you see the big picture, you're going to go, why am I even bothering? | ||
| I'm a finite life form on a planet with a dying star floating through infinity trying not to get eaten. | ||
| Yeah, you're absolutely right. | ||
| It's a survival mechanism. | ||
| There's something about it, like, your brain has too much ability to comprehend. | ||
| And if you comprehend everything, like, just the nature of life itself, the fact that your body is this ecosystem with all this different stuff inside you, because you collectively, like, however they influence you, however your microbiome influences you, collectively are you, and you know that. | ||
| You just assume that there's one. | ||
| But meanwhile, it's this crazy fucking world. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's all interconnected. | ||
| It's all interconnected. | ||
| Do you ever talk to your cells? | ||
| No, do you? | ||
| Do you talk to yourselves? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I say that in a sense of I thank my existence and my being for taking care of me. | ||
| I express gratitude to myself on a microscopic level, on a molecular level. | ||
| Like talking to plants. | ||
| I talk to my plants. | ||
| They say that's real, right? | ||
| If you play plants music, they actually grow better? | ||
| I wonder if there's plants that like Cardi B. Or if it's all just like... | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| No, it's real, yeah. | ||
| But was there a study on this? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That they grow more flourishly. | ||
| Flourishly, is that a word? | ||
| They flourish more with music in their growing process. | ||
| Have you ever been high on a grow-op? | ||
| I don't even know what you just said to me. | ||
| High in a grow-up, like a grow-up where they're growing weed, walking through weed high? | ||
| Oh, actually, yes, I take it back. | ||
| My partner's grow-up. | ||
| I was inside a little bit stoned. | ||
| It feels nice. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| One of the earliest studies of the effect of music on plants was conducted in 1962 by Dr. T.C. Singh Head of Botany at Animalia University. | ||
| He exposed balsam plants to classical music and found that their growth rate increased by 20% compared to a control group, along with 72% increase in biomass. | ||
|
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Wow! | |
| 72% increase in biomass from playing music. | ||
| But even that 20%, that's a huge, huge number. | ||
| And imagine what that does to plants. | ||
| I mean, we already know there's science that it helps babies and fetuses and babies inside the womb to listen to classical music and things like that. | ||
| So it's interesting. | ||
| I wonder what the rate of helping a baby grow is, what the percentage is. | ||
| No shit, right? | ||
| I wonder if you could play Beethoven for your kid when it's like a tiny little baby who's in the crib. | ||
| What if it increases its intelligence? | ||
| I wonder if it would. | ||
| Do you think it would? | ||
| I mean, for real, it'd be an exercise, right? | ||
| Because the kid would be following along with these beats. | ||
| So the thing to really complex classical music is like, I don't know about you, but I don't play shit. | ||
| I have zero musical talent at all. | ||
| I have none. | ||
| I mean, I can do like a finger flute. | ||
| I love the fact that I don't know anything about how they do it. | ||
| So I could just enjoy it. | ||
| Just enjoy the music without thinking about the technical details of it. | ||
| Yeah, it must be a little stressful if you know how it goes to obsess over that, over the notes. | ||
| Oh yeah, it'd be like us with comics. | ||
| You're like, why the fuck did you do that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? | ||
| Why would he go that way? | ||
| Why would he go this way? | ||
| Or you know what it'd be like? | ||
| It would be like us if you're watching someone play a comic in a movie. | ||
|
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Ugh. | |
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, you're like, you did it all wrong! | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| That was so terrible. | ||
| So if you were a guitarist and then they're doing a movie on Hendrix... | ||
| Like, what are you going to do with the fingers? | ||
|
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What are you going to do? | |
| Because you're not going to trick people. | ||
| Flap them around aimlessly. | ||
| Yeah, you're not going to. | ||
| You have to actually know how to play guitar if you want to play Hendrix in a movie. | ||
| Am I right? | ||
| I'm just laughing. | ||
| Yes and no. | ||
| You're right, but also so many people have such different technique that you'd look at somebody and be like, that's not how you play that, but you hear it and it sounds exactly right. | ||
| Yeah, because of the way they develop their dexterity. | ||
| Let me give props to someone who faked it better than almost anybody. | ||
| Will Smith when he played Muhammad Ali. | ||
| I don't want to say faked it. | ||
| I would say acted his ass up. | ||
| Became like a boxer. | ||
| I've seen so many fights. | ||
| When someone moves, you go, ah, come on with that. | ||
| Oh, you're talking about the actual choreography of his movement. | ||
| His movement. | ||
| See, I never saw that movie, but I know it was a good one. | ||
| I thought you were going to say, because we're talking about music, like Jamie Foxx with Ray, but I don't know. | ||
| He's fantastic. | ||
| That guy can do anything. | ||
| I know, Jamie Foxx is amazing. | ||
| He's weirdly talented. | ||
| Yeah, he is. | ||
| If you listen to his voice, you're like, whoa, you can do that too? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He is a very, very talented dude. | ||
| Very funny. | ||
| He did the cello thing, too, though. | ||
| He made it seem like he would learn... | ||
| Maybe he did, but a master cello player in that movie with Robert Downey Jr. That's right. | ||
| The guy who's homeless. | ||
| I can't remember the name of it. | ||
| We can Google it, Jamie. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, but see, he can really do that. | ||
| It's not like if someone asked me to play a guitarist. | ||
| I don't know what you're supposed to do with your hand. | ||
| It's going to be like... | ||
| I don't know what to do with my hand! | ||
| You ever see a movie where you could tell someone doesn't really smoke and they're smoking cigarettes in a movie? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But it just looks so awkward in their hand. | ||
|
unidentified
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Unnatural. | |
| I've heard actors talk about that, too. | ||
| If their character smokes cigarettes, they'll actually smoke cigarettes so they can get comfortable with the fact they have a cigarette. | ||
| And even then they feel like a fake. | ||
| Well, I think because so much of our mechanism is dependent upon our personality type, you know? | ||
| It's not necessarily everyone smokes a certain way. | ||
| It's just like, how do you stand? | ||
| Like, where are you? | ||
| Are you leaning? | ||
| Or how do you eat? | ||
| You know, do you have bad posture? | ||
| It's going to affect the way you do things. | ||
| There's a thing that you can see in someone that's doing something awkward. | ||
| There's a weird thing if they're not really good at it. | ||
| And it's like, I play pool. | ||
| And when you watch someone play pool in a movie, and he's supposed to be an amazing pool player, they're like, bitch, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| This guy's doing everything wrong. | ||
| Everything's all clunky. | ||
| That guy can't play. | ||
| Do you like that Martin Scorsese movie? | ||
| You can see it in seconds. | ||
| Which one? | ||
| The Hustler? | ||
| No, with... | ||
| Color Money? | ||
| Color Money. | ||
| It's a classic pool movie. | ||
| Yeah, that's an amazing movie. | ||
| That's actually the sequel to The Hustler. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Yeah, The Hustler. | ||
| I've read the books. | ||
| Who's the author? | ||
| I forget the author. | ||
| You read a lot. | ||
| When did you have time before? | ||
| I don't read much anymore. | ||
| Mostly what I do is listen to books on tape. | ||
| Is that considered reading? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| Donnell Rawlings says no. | ||
| Donnell is like, wait, you listen! | ||
|
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You listen and you say you read! | |
| And Ari Shaffir said the same thing too. | ||
| Ari Shaffir wrote on my Instagram something, some fucking comment. | ||
| Books don't have tracks or something. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Come on, bitch. | ||
| But I mean, if you're in school and you're getting a lecture, you're learning. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Listen, it's not the same. | ||
| But I can do it when I work out. | ||
| So I can listen to books while I work out. | ||
| Do you think you retain information better when you're working out and doing physically exerting things? | ||
| No, I think you retain the most information when you're sitting there concentrating on retaining information. | ||
| You retain less, but you can still do it. | ||
| You seem really able to acquire and retain a lot of information. | ||
| It's scattered though. | ||
| It's like I have all my hard drives are fucked up. | ||
| Are you running on an old Dell processor? | ||
| I have a chimpanzee's brain. | ||
| A chimpanzee? | ||
| I'm supposed to have a few categories of things that I concentrate on. | ||
| That's what my brain's designed for. | ||
| But I've taken it like if you're trying to put a big engine in a Volkswagen Bug, I'm just cramming information. | ||
| Instead of horsepower, I'm trying to cram information in this chimp brain. | ||
| Do you get headaches from it? | ||
| Every day! | ||
| No, I'm lucky I don't get headaches. | ||
| I've had friends that have had migraines, and it seems like probably one of the most disturbing things you can experience. | ||
| Yeah, there's so many other physical... | ||
| Symptoms that are associated with migraines that just the migraine itself everything else seems so much worse I've had friends that say it's like literally like their heads in a vice and It'll last for an hour. | ||
| Yeah, that's brutal. | ||
| Do you have any like physical issues? | ||
| I know you have like a like a joint issue or a bad knee I've always got something wrong from fighting. | ||
| Yeah, there's always something wrong. | ||
| Is there anything congenital? | ||
| No, no, nothing. | ||
| No, everything was just from just use and abuse. | ||
| But, like, I'm 52, and for most guys that are 52 that still get involved in jiu-jitsu, they've got a bunch of surgeries. | ||
| Most guys have, like, back surgery or shoulder surgery or knee surgery. | ||
| Almost every guy that I know that gets into, like, his 40s and 50s from jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Is it like a midlife crisis choice where you're just like, I gotta... | ||
| I gotta try this thing and challenge myself. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm a man. | |
| I gotta get in the ring. | ||
| You could use it that way, but it's more like a life challenge. | ||
| The way I look at it, it's like a really difficult thing to do. | ||
| And in doing really difficult things, it increases your capacity to do other things. | ||
| And it also occupies your mind with real drama. | ||
| It's really dangerous. | ||
| What do you mean by real drama? | ||
| It's really dangerous. | ||
| I mean, it's not dangerous in the fact that you're going to get hurt. | ||
| You might get hurt, but most of the time when you train, you don't. | ||
| But I mean, it's dangerous in that this guy's trying to kill you. | ||
| He will tap you out, you'll tap, and you'll give up, and then you go again. | ||
| You're not going to die, you're not going to get hurt. | ||
| But the reality is, he could have killed you. | ||
| If somebody gets you in an arm bar, they're going to break your fucking arm. | ||
| If they get you in a triangle, they're going to put you to sleep and strangle you to death. | ||
| Are you flirting? | ||
|
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That's... | |
| That sounds great. | ||
| My point, Jessie Mae, is that when you do that, it makes other things easier. | ||
| It makes other things seem trivial. | ||
| The people that get good at jujitsu, men and women, they have a tolerance for the hardships of life that's built into them from training sessions that other people don't have. | ||
| When you're constantly, you're a woman, you're constantly grappling with this and this bitch is just trying to kill you. | ||
| You're good friends and they're getting on top of you and she's trying to strangle you, she's trying to get you in the rear naked choke. | ||
| You're like, not today, motherfucker! | ||
| And you're doing this all the time, like regular nonsense out in the street. | ||
| It must be a great way to focus your stresses and angers in your everyday existence and sort of funnel them into this. | ||
| Instead of that, I think it avoids a lot of the anger. | ||
| I think a lot of like frustration that a lot of people have, the tension is like built up energy that they need to expand. | ||
| They need to expel. | ||
| They need to get it out of their system and they don't get a chance to. | ||
| They're stuck in offices. | ||
| They're stuck in their car. | ||
| They're stuck at home, wherever they are. | ||
| I don't know if it's not that they don't get a chance to. | ||
| They don't decide to implement it into their life somehow. | ||
| There's that too. | ||
| Because there's a choice to make. | ||
| And I realize there are limitations to people's lives in certain situations, but it's a choice to implement something like this where you can deal with your anger. | ||
|
unidentified
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For sure. | |
| For sure. | ||
| I mean, anger is necessary. | ||
| Here's why it's a weird choice. | ||
| It is a choice. | ||
| But, you know, it's not normal or healthy to sit in a chair all day. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| And everybody's being forced to do that. | ||
| And it is a weird thing to decide that we got to do. | ||
| I mean, that's why there's so many suicides in Chinese culture, isn't that? | ||
| Like, in Japanese cultures, too? | ||
| It's crazy hours, too, right? | ||
| Yeah, but they're sitting in a desk all day long, jumping out of their windows because of the stress of the work week. | ||
| Imagine the feeling when you make that jump. | ||
| You probably regret it. | ||
| You're like, fuck this job! | ||
| There's no way each time you're like, this is a good choice. | ||
| Each time? | ||
|
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Milk was a bad choice, and so was jumping out of the window. | |
| Shh! | ||
| Boy, that's a crazy way to go. | ||
| It is. | ||
| But how crazy is that Foxconn place where they make the iPhones where they had to put nets around it because so many people were jumping? | ||
| I mean, at least they're evolving, you know? | ||
| It would be fun if they put a trampoline and then you can just kind of jump around and deal with your emotions and that. | ||
| You're like, I guess it was a good thing that I didn't do it, that I didn't die. | ||
| They have dorms there and everything. | ||
| Like, why can't we make an American cell phone? | ||
| Is that impossible? | ||
|
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No, it's not. | |
| Or would we have to pollute everything? | ||
| There's a thing that's like, no bullshit. | ||
| Like, no bullshit. | ||
| I don't know why everything gets made over there other than cheap labor. | ||
| That's why it is! | ||
| But the other question could be, is it also because they don't have the same environmental concerns? | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And I know that if you're in some of those cities, the smog is fucking insane, right? | ||
| Some of the worst air conditions in the world you'll experience in these cities where they make all this shit. | ||
| Yeah, they don't give a fuck about nature. | ||
| Like, here's the deal. | ||
| Can we even have all the stuff we have over here and make it over here? | ||
| And not have all that waste? | ||
| And not pollute the world? | ||
| Can I ask you a question? | ||
| Sure, but we should answer that one first. | ||
| Oh yeah, we should answer that. | ||
| Let's figure out if this is true. | ||
| Does this make any sense? | ||
| It does make sense, but don't you think we make too much shit? | ||
| Do we need a new car every year? | ||
| No, we don't need a new phone every year either. | ||
| We don't need new shit every year. | ||
| You talk about the waste that it's producing. | ||
| I got an iPhone 11 and you could have this for five years. | ||
| If this is all I could do on the phone is call and make pictures and fucking shit that you do normally and send text messages... | ||
| Do I really need something better than this? | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| Why do we need a new one? | ||
| Keep making this. | ||
| Just keep making this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think we're producing too much. | ||
| We're going to be intertwined with this thing. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| We were talking about that app, about the tracking, the COVID tracking. | ||
| The... | ||
| Which is just, it sounds scary to me. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with that. | ||
| That's some NSA shit. | ||
| That's really scary. | ||
| They're gonna keep going. | ||
| This is what things do. | ||
| It's your job to try to do something like this, to try to implement something where you can get people to agree to tracking. | ||
| If it's your job to do that, you're going to keep going. | ||
| Yes, you are. | ||
| Once you get that tracking, then you're going to want some new shit. | ||
| Then you want cameras in front of people's houses to see if they really are quarantining. | ||
| You know, they're doing that in China. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This guy just got back from a trip in China. | ||
| They gave him a 14-day quarantine and they put a fucking camera right in front of his door. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| He's like, whoa, like you're not going anywhere for 14 days and we're watching you. | ||
| It's also strange for people in politics to encourage society to snitch on people. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| That's a level of tracking. | ||
| That's our mayor. | ||
| I know, but don't you think that's fucking weird and wrong? | ||
| It's weird and wrong, but it's even worse if you're offering rewards. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| If you're saying, usually snitches get stitches, but this one, they get rewards. | ||
| You guys are going to get riches. | ||
|
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LAUGHTER You know what it is, Joe? | |
| Honestly, it's a behavior change. | ||
| It's a weird step towards this tracking system that's going to be implemented that they're starting to be like, oh, it's okay. | ||
| We're going to reinforce you guys being stitches. | ||
| It's snitches. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| Here's a little treat for you. | ||
| Here's 500 bucks for letting me know that Karen was out not doing the proper protocols. | ||
| Meanwhile, there have been that many deaths, like, relatively to what they thought they were going to be. | ||
| And so that means it's a success. | ||
| So that means the way it's being implemented so far has been a success. | ||
| Like, you're going to get more aggressive with it, even though the numbers are way lower than we thought they were going to be? | ||
| What are we doing, George? | ||
| We're doing the right thing. | ||
| Understand that it's hard for people. | ||
| Keep an eye on each other. | ||
| Don't let people do stupid shit. | ||
| You shouldn't have fucking parties. | ||
| But you also shouldn't give people rewards to snitch. | ||
| No, that's not helping. | ||
| I saw a house party the other day where people had masks on. | ||
| Someone put it up on their Instagram. | ||
| I'm like, this is crazy. | ||
| It might have been Lil Duval. | ||
| Lil Duval has the best Instagram follow out there. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| And he posts all day long. | ||
| He's just getting high and posting. | ||
|
unidentified
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Lil Duvall posts the funniest shit. | |
| He posts the funniest shit. | ||
| He really does. | ||
| The house party was packed. | ||
| Yeah, it was a packed house party. | ||
| I think it said something like, if these people ain't dead in 14 days, I'm going to go out. | ||
| But also, like... | ||
| People are partying with masks on. | ||
| They're partying in my apartment as well. | ||
| Not where I personally live, but the building. | ||
| People have been having house parties. | ||
| Having them. | ||
| Chilling. | ||
| I hear there's Cards Against Humanity happening a lot. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| And like... | ||
| Did you see the beach? | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at it! | |
| Look at the dude with the mask! | ||
| If don't nobody from this house party die in 14 days, I'm going outside. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And also, why is it so bright? | |
| It looks more like a meeting that just led out in a business. | ||
|
unidentified
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Where are they? | |
| Well, maybe it is. | ||
| Maybe this is bullshit. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Or maybe someone turn the lights on and take a picture. | ||
| How do we know? | ||
| These photos, so many photos are doctored. | ||
| Like you talked about the picture from the beach. | ||
| How do we even know what date that's from? | ||
| I'm sure a lot of these things you can sort of track, but then they posted a picture about, you know, the anti-stay-home protesters. | ||
| It was a photo from like an election from 2011, one thing I saw. | ||
| I think that's just lazy journalism. | ||
| They're just clickbait people. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Did you see the deep fake of Biden's tongue? | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| No, it sounds like a porno category. | ||
| There's a crazy deep fake where they took Biden, his thing where he's doing this press conference, and they made him move his eyebrows and stick his tongue out in this really wacky way. | ||
| And when I saw it, I was like, is he really doing that? | ||
| And I'm like, I don't know if this is really not. | ||
| So I think I retweeted it. | ||
| I'm like, what is this? | ||
| I just sent it out there in the universe. | ||
| Somebody tell me what this is. | ||
| And then someone wrote a thing about this deep fake. | ||
| What did it say? | ||
| Was the article like the beginning to the end of democracy or something like that? | ||
| But it's really... | ||
| Do you want me to send it to you? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Sorry, I... I found it. | ||
| I'm looking at... | ||
| I guess calling it a deepfake might be misleading, but yeah, it's not technically a deepfake, but it's not accurate either. | ||
| It's like manipulation. | ||
| But did it really happen? | ||
| But he didn't really open his tongue like that, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think what this is saying is that he opened his tongue like that, but there's some app you can use to do the rest of the manipulation. | ||
| He opened his tongue like a normal open... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Can you show Jessie Mae? | ||
| I was trying to read through it so I could explain it at the same time. | ||
| Jessie Mae doesn't know what we're talking about. | ||
| There's a picture like that. | ||
|
unidentified
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I can't deal with it. | |
| That's a real picture? | ||
| I think this picture is real. | ||
| That looks like every housewife in Bel Air, by the way. | ||
| Yeah, by the time they hit 70. Yeah, they're hanging on to it. | ||
| This article's on Vice where it says not everything is a deepfake. | ||
| For the love of God, not everything is a deepfake. | ||
| What a great title for an article. | ||
| Sloppy Joe is trending? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Didn't, so Trump retweeted that? | ||
| Did he retweet that? | ||
|
unidentified
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Trump yesterday retweeted his own tweet. | |
| I know! | ||
| Where are we? | ||
| Like, what is life right now? | ||
| See, what people want from him is for him to be like his fans. | ||
| They want him to be this boss guy that doesn't make dumb mistakes. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| But like, if you say something stupid, that's one thing. | ||
| But if you say something stupid and then try to pretend you didn't say something stupid, now you've doubled down. | ||
| Are you talking about when he told everybody to boof bleach? | ||
| Yeah, well he said maybe there was a way to use disinfectant. | ||
| Now here's what's interesting. | ||
| It's clearly not. | ||
| He's not being sarcastic. | ||
| But then he said he was saying it's sarcastic just to your reporters. | ||
| Like, he's so embattled with the reporters. | ||
| It's like, I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| He's embattled with his ego. | ||
| His ego is the first thing he's embattled with. | ||
| And any time that's threatened, he can't... | ||
| He focuses on that. | ||
| He's so focused on his sensitive ego that everything else falls to the wayside. | ||
| Like, just running the country. | ||
| He's like, eh, I'm busy tweeting my haters right now. | ||
| I'm busy tweeting trolls about For hours! | ||
| Can you imagine him? | ||
| What is he wearing? | ||
| Is he in bed in sweatpants? | ||
| I hope he's naked. | ||
| I hope he's in the steam room and he keeps blowing out his iPhones. | ||
| They keep giving him, get me a new one! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's just in there, in the steam room, chilling, talking shit about Putin. | |
| Whatever. | ||
| Talking shit about China and everything. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think that guy, I bet he could never imagine what it was going to be like to have that job, to be hated that way. | ||
| No, I think he wasn't able to put himself in a category of ever being hated, but that seems to be his biggest downfall and his biggest insecurity is what people think of him. | ||
| But when you're living in conflict, right? | ||
| So he's in this constant conflict with the press and the reporters when he gives those speeches. | ||
| When you're living in conflict like that, you're always at like seven. | ||
| You're always on edge. | ||
| You can't take things from a neutral place. | ||
| You take things, they're always a bigger front than they really are. | ||
| The perspective is always off because you're like stuck in conflict. | ||
| It actually happens to people if you grow up in bad neighborhoods. | ||
| If you grow up in bad neighborhoods, and they've even said that they've done studies. | ||
| Michael Irvin actually talked to me about this once on a plane flight from Australia. | ||
| And he explained to me that kids that grow up and they're born, when their mother is going through extreme stress, like the mother lives in a very violent neighborhood and there's violence in the house and things like that, the kid in the womb, it changes the way the kid will approach life. | ||
| That's what I was saying to you before. | ||
| I was wondering, living in a stressful environment having an effect on the development of the child. | ||
| I'm sure it will, but this is literally changing the wiring in the brain while she's pregnant with him. | ||
| It's happening because of the outside world. | ||
| It's like changing the baby, changing the behavior. | ||
| Make it, apparently, a much quicker ability to react or instinct to react. | ||
| Constant survival. | ||
| On edge. | ||
| Being on edge. | ||
| I think that's definitely also consistent with having a rough childhood or traumatic experience. | ||
| I definitely went through that, experiencing things as a girl that made me reactive to men until I learned how to narrow it down to this one instance and deal with it. | ||
| It's interesting how you're able to... | ||
| Overcome trauma with therapy and behavioral changes. | ||
| But I think it comes down to that. | ||
| Like, having traumatic things will always sort of negate... | ||
| I'm sorry, will always sort of dictate how you react to things. | ||
| Trauma drives the ship for so long until you deal with it and have some sort of therapy. | ||
| And even then, sometimes it's difficult to overcome your instinctual response, which is based off of that sort of... | ||
| That experience of stress being influencing how you react. | ||
| You know what you were talking about earlier, talking about what kind of an effect is this disease going to have on people? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I'm hoping that it's going to have an effect on shifting in a way where we understand how good we had it and how recent this is that people have had it good. | ||
| I think one of the reasons why we're so quick to react to things, like why a child in the womb would be quick to react and tend to be more violent or react quicker to violence Or be defensive. | ||
| Because it needed it for survival. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's survival. | |
| Up until about four or five hundred years ago, everything was a bloodbath. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you... | ||
| We've had it good. | ||
| Yeah, we've had it real fucking good. | ||
| We've had it so fucking good. | ||
| Real fucking good. | ||
| So... | ||
| I mean, we have... | ||
| All of our needs are instantly met. | ||
| And then because of that, our needs grow because we need more. | ||
| Like, oh, this iPhone 11 isn't good enough. | ||
| I need an iPhone 24. We also find more things to complain about. | ||
| We find more things to be bitter about, but less things to be thankful of. | ||
| Like, I think, if anything, I hope that when we come back from this, other than the fact that I hope people get their lives in order, is I hope that we get this understanding that Of how temporary all of this really is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And how we just thought, because it existed, because it had always been here, it always will be here. | ||
| This is fragile. | ||
| This is fragile like the Great Barrier Reef, which we fucking killed with hairspray. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck, we fucked that up! | |
| That shit's fishing line and hairspray and suntan lotion. | ||
| It's like, fuck you. | ||
| We haven't put enough effort into educating ourselves about the things we're consuming, the products we're buying, and the people we're surrounding ourselves with. | ||
| We sort of had this reckless, abandoned approach to existence. | ||
| And I agree with what you're saying. | ||
| I think, hopefully, I thought about this yesterday when I was high on a walk yesterday with my dogs. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Where I hope, and one thing that I've gotten from this is a humility about existence, a humility about being a human and all of the things that we get in just this society, but also in everyday life. | ||
| Our needs have exceeded what we really need to exist. | ||
| And our wants are beyond what we really need on a day-to-day basis. | ||
| It's greedy! | ||
| It's so fucking greedy and it's not serving It's not serving the community. | ||
| It's a trick, too. | ||
| You're tricked into working harder and wanting more. | ||
| It's a trap. | ||
| Working hard for some dude you don't know, that cliche thing where you're making money. | ||
| It's a job you hate. | ||
| To get in a car, to drive to a house you can't afford, to be in a marriage that you haven't put any effort into, and to put the TV on, to put the food that's not good for you in your belly, and rinse and repeat. | ||
| The dog's a cunt. | ||
| The goldfish dead. | ||
| The dog's not the cunt. | ||
| Usually it's a spouse. | ||
| The dog's the saving grace. | ||
| Sometimes you can get a fucking rescue dog that's a little bit of a cunt. | ||
| Yeah, but you can change that with behavioral training. | ||
| It's the same thing as people. | ||
| You rescue people. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't talk to them. | ||
| It takes too much time. | ||
| Yeah, it does take a lot of time to train them. | ||
| But it is possible. | ||
| When they're puppies, it's easy. | ||
| It is easy when they're puppies. | ||
| You can start from the ground zero with their behavior. | ||
| I know you're a big dog freak, though. | ||
| You must have had one or two dogs you've adopted. | ||
| You're like, oh, Jesus, what kind of project did I take on? | ||
| Yeah, it definitely has been a... | ||
| I have one, my pit bull, my pit boxer mix. | ||
| mix. | ||
| He's been a journey. | ||
| I've had him for like nine years. | ||
| And when I got him, I got him in Brooklyn in this shelter. | ||
| And it was like a bully breed shelter, you know, pits and Dobermans and German shepherds and all the dogs that people are kind of scared of. | ||
| And there was like three rows of cages that... | ||
| Wrapped around this room and they were all stacked on top of each other and I just put my hand up against each cage just to see how the dog would react in this stressful talking about being inside of a baby being a womb while the mother's stressful. | ||
| This is a similar scenario where these dogs are in this room And it's stressful and they're all barking. | ||
| So I just put my hand outside of each one just to see their reactions. | ||
| And Carlin was the only one who, when I put my hand in front of his cage, he didn't meet me with aggression. | ||
| He turned around and showed me his butt and he let me scratch it. | ||
| I'm like, this is my dude right here. | ||
| To that point, the dog's behavior, I'm sure you know this, in a shelter is not reflective upon how his behavior will be. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Or what the female dogs will be. | ||
| So it took years of training, six years, so much money. | ||
| Here's a good question. | ||
| Why is it so fucked up? | ||
| Why do we feel so bad about that happening to dogs, but we don't feel that same way about it happening to people? | ||
| I think people do, but it's also about your personal experience. | ||
| And maybe some people don't feel like they have the means or resources or the ability to start to help those other areas. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, maybe they don't know how to begin to help, like we were talking about before, causes that deal with child sex trafficking, or they don't know how to start, you know, where do they start to help homeless people and things like that. | ||
| I think the dog situation's an easier step to feeling like you're contributing a little bit. | ||
| I know for me, like, that whole thing changed because... | ||
| Feeling like I wanted to help and give back more and finding purpose. | ||
| I think it's important in life to find purpose. | ||
| And maybe that's one of the things that you're talking about. | ||
| Like after my dad passed away, I felt like I wanted to have more purpose because it made me realize the value of life and what this is all about. | ||
| And it's not about... | ||
| What can I get? | ||
| It's what can I give? | ||
| And so I did research into Alzheimer's and did research into how could I become an advocate and ways that I could inspire and help other people that are dealing with the disease. | ||
| And it's really a statement on turning pain into purpose. | ||
| And I think that people who get dogs, maybe they don't have a big enough purpose yet. | ||
| Does that answer the question? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| Do they go too deep? | ||
| Maybe you just like dogs? | ||
| I love dogs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It doesn't have to be so crazy. | ||
| Well, you know, I know you like to go into the darkness. | ||
| The darkness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, there's... | ||
| Dogs are like little love dispensers. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| They're pure love. | ||
| They only function on love in immediate, you know, gratitude. | ||
| They just want to lick your face. | ||
| I mean, my dog crapped on my carpet last night, but that's okay. | ||
| I'm not taking it personally. | ||
| The problem with dogs, I mean, the pound dogs at least, is that sometimes, you know, they're in for too long or they're just habituated to it. | ||
| It's just they're scared. | ||
| They went there because they were abused. | ||
| It takes a lot of effort. | ||
| But isn't it crazy that we don't think the same way about people? | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| People that are in prison for stealing something, like, fuck them, keep them in the cage. | ||
| Like, there's something about, like... | ||
| How many people really should be in prison? | ||
| How many people really, I mean, really, really should be in prison? | ||
| A fraction of what we have. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's people in there that don't deserve it, and it's definitely a systemic issue, for sure. | ||
| And it's a... | ||
| Almost like a caste issue when it comes to, like, how much money you have. | ||
| It's definitely like a financial issue, too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| How about nonviolent drug offenders, right? | ||
| Think about that. | ||
| Nonviolent drug offenders, what do they do? | ||
| They take them, lock them in a cage. | ||
| But if you're an opiate distributor... | ||
| A rapist. | ||
| No, no, I'm saying if you're a pill company like OxyContin, you just get money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just get money. | ||
| You kill how many million people die every year from OxyContin? | ||
| What is the worldwide opiate death thing? | ||
| Is it over 100,000? | ||
| In this country, I don't think it's quite 100,000 a year. | ||
| 75,000? | ||
| It's a fraction of cigarettes, which is really crazy. | ||
| It's a fraction. | ||
| Cigarettes are so bad. | ||
| They're so, so bad. | ||
| They're the worst. | ||
| But I get what you're saying. | ||
| You're pumping pharmaceuticals, and that's okay, but people who are in jail because of Marijuana. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's fucking ridiculous. | ||
| Some of it's just possession in some states. | ||
| Yeah, just having it on you. | ||
| Having a couple ounces. | ||
| CDC's response to the opioid overdose epidemic in 2017, more than 70,000 people died from drug overdoses, making it a leading cause of injury-related death in the United States. | ||
| Out of those deaths, almost 68% involved a prescription or illicit opioid. | ||
| And a lot of these people who get onto opioids, they never did drugs before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not a word I say with confidence. | ||
| Opioid. | ||
| Opioid is a tough one. | ||
| It's a weird word. | ||
| It's fucking up the rest of my words. | ||
| Because it was like opiates. | ||
| I could say that. | ||
| Opioid. | ||
| An illicit opioid together is a tough grouping. | ||
| There's so many people dying of that stuff. | ||
| And that's legally prescribed. | ||
| We're talking about a quote-unquote legal drug that is on the market. | ||
| And they try to give it to you, too. | ||
| I had my nose fixed. | ||
| I had a deviated septum, and they put this thing in my nose and cut out all the scar tissue. | ||
| It was really bad. | ||
| I was listening to myself talk from like 30, 20-something years ago, and I was like, God, I'm so nasally. | ||
| And I realized that's what it was. | ||
| My nose didn't work. | ||
| It was useless. | ||
| I had like one quarter of one nostril that I could get air out of. | ||
| The rest was all smashed up. | ||
| So they fixed it, but it really didn't hurt. | ||
| And I'm not trying to be a tough guy. | ||
| It really didn't hurt. | ||
| It just didn't hurt. | ||
| Like after it was over, it was like, yeah, my nose is a little numb, but I'm not like, ah, I'm in pain. | ||
| It was like, it certainly hurts. | ||
| But it's not like I need a drug. | ||
| And the guy offered me two different kinds of pills. | ||
| He offered me like Vicodin and Percocets or one of those fucking things. | ||
| One of them was hardcore, whichever one it was. | ||
| I was like, Jesus, man. | ||
| Don't they get... | ||
| I mean, they used to get, you know, perks for prescribing and they would get perks for how much they prescribed out to people. | ||
| It must be. | ||
| It must be. | ||
| And there was that whole pain management system that was implemented into our hospitals is also based off of... | ||
| Being able to prescribe opioids. | ||
| Companies were giving kickbacks to hospitals based off of their level of pain. | ||
| If you had higher pain, you would get money because that would equal dollars on the pharmaceutical side of you prescribing the drug. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I read an article. | ||
| As long as you got a citation, you can pull that article up. | ||
| Allegedly, but I did read that. | ||
| God, it's crazy. | ||
| The doctor didn't, I mean, he was like trying to, he wasn't just encouraging me. | ||
| He was pushing these things. | ||
| He's like, you're going to need this. | ||
| And I was like, man, everybody told me, like, oh my god, it's the worst things ever. | ||
| And apparently it used to be that they would pack your nose up with gauze, and then when they pulled the gauze out at the end of like a week or so, it was like really painful. | ||
| But now they don't even do that. | ||
| They have like these nose tampons, and they just slide right into place, and they come out after a week or whatever the fuck it was where I had to keep it in my nose to keep everything open after the surgery. | ||
| But it was nothing. | ||
| And this guy was like, you need pills. | ||
| I'm telling you, it was nothing. | ||
| It was over. | ||
| It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't hurt. | ||
| Was he trying to Michael Jackson you? | ||
| I just think they do that with everybody. | ||
| They don't want to hear you bullshit about pain. | ||
|
unidentified
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It gets you in and out. | |
| They don't want to hear you whine either. | ||
| It's a drive-thru. | ||
| My knee is killing me. | ||
| What to do? | ||
| Take those pills I gave you, stupid. | ||
| I feel like a lot of the medical, let me rephrase that. | ||
| There are some medical professionals because I do think that it's an amazing profession. | ||
| Like you said earlier, how lucky we are to have these people who want to help people as a profession. | ||
| But there are doctors who are lazy and there are doctors who aren't furthering their education. | ||
| It's like they go to college and then they become a doctor and they get that stamp and that label. | ||
| And then that's it. | ||
| They don't continue to read and evolve because information is evolving every day. | ||
| I mean, look at this COVID crisis. | ||
| Something new is coming about every single day. | ||
| And it was really apparent when my mother, she was sick. | ||
| She had an issue with her heart and she went into the doctor. | ||
| And then immediately the doctor wants to put her on a bunch of medication. | ||
| Not once did the doctor ask her about her exercise. | ||
| Not once did the doctor ask about how she eats and what her history was with nutrition. | ||
| Didn't even offer like an alternate way for her to eat to sort of build her heart strength from within. | ||
| Just wants to put her right on medication. | ||
| And to me that's a big issue with our medical professionals these days. | ||
| They're just lazy. | ||
| Well, it may be a little bit of that, but also it's like that you can do. | ||
| You can get a person on medication, but trying to get a person to get their shit together is fucking way too hard. | ||
| It is way too hard. | ||
| Especially if someone's coming to you with like health issues, you can look at them and go, hey man, you got to get your shit together. | ||
| You're going to fucking die. | ||
| Stop eating Twinkies. | ||
| Stop drinking soda all day. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I would rather that. | ||
| But you can't do that. | ||
| First of all, they probably won't listen. | ||
| They'll get mad at you. | ||
| Say you're fat shaming them. | ||
| You can't tell someone that they have to get their shit together and then, boom, they get their shit together. | ||
| It's like a long process and they have to be fully on board. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| I just think it goes further to the doctors not having the care or whatever it is to at least provide a little bit of information. | ||
| But I think to be a doctor, to give like a really good holistic approach, like a holistic response, like let's take care of your whole body. | ||
| Let's not think about this injury. | ||
| Let's think about your whole body. | ||
| Why did this injury happen? | ||
| Why do you get sick? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| And what can we strengthen? | ||
| Let's take a look at your nutrition. | ||
| Let's take a look at your lifestyle. | ||
| Let's take a look at the amount of sleep you get. | ||
| I know. | ||
| No one has time for that. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| The system is fucked. | ||
| To be a doctor like that is really fucking time consuming. | ||
| And these doctors are fucking pumping people in and out of their offices. | ||
| They're dealing with insurance and malpractice lawsuits. | ||
| And it's a business. | ||
| It's a crazy business. | ||
| And they're still in hock for the fucking student loans they got to go to medical school. | ||
| Yeah, they still have to pay their student loans. | ||
| It's so fucked up. | ||
| Shout out to my friend Steve Graham. | ||
| He was fucking struggling with his student loans until he was like well into his adulthood. | ||
| He was an ophthalmologist and for him it was just a catastrophic amount of money that you have to spend to go to school. | ||
| That's so unfortunate. | ||
| It's crazy! | ||
| You send them out of the gate with an incentive to do more surgery because they're all broke. | ||
| And they're on debt. | ||
| They're in debt. | ||
| In a big way. | ||
| Hundreds of thousands of dollars. | ||
| Imagine you got to catch up to hundreds of thousands of dollars you spent. | ||
| And you got a wife and a kid or a husband and a kid. | ||
| Oh, Jesus, Jessie Mae! | ||
| It's so stressful. | ||
| And then be able to operate or prescribe or to be present. | ||
| Or to be on the front lines today. | ||
| And to be on the front lines. | ||
| Today. | ||
| But I mean, a lot of that is the breakdown in the overall system. | ||
| The overall, you know, healthcare system is completely, it's so disjointed from really keeping people healthy. | ||
| I know because it's a business and maybe it's my hippie heart, but... | ||
| Isn't there some way we could shake the shit up so that at least it's starting to give people information, knowledge, and tools so they can have somewhat of a healthier existence? | ||
| The problem is people are a lot like dogs in some ways. | ||
| It's very difficult to learn the bad lessons that you learned when you were young. | ||
| You know, like you get a dog from the pound and their life was fucked up and they're all sketchy. | ||
| That's the same thing with human beings. | ||
| It's also the same thing with diet. | ||
| Like if people get on a certain diet when they're really young and their parents are on this shitty diet, it's fucking hard for you to get them off of that. | ||
| It's ingrained. | ||
| It's a part of their genetics. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's so hard. | |
| All animals, whether it's humans or dogs or anything, they seem to get trained by their environment. | ||
| And then once they're trained, once they've sort of adapted to their environment in whatever way they had to, it's really hard to get them to shift. | ||
| It's really hard to get them to change. | ||
| It's that reinforcement. | ||
| It's like behavior and reinforcement. | ||
| You have to almost take it upon yourself to recognize why you're doing something and what is it that's reinforcing you to do it. | ||
| And that takes a lot of self-awareness and self-work to go, oh, I'm doing this. | ||
| For a lot of girls that I know, because I have a huge female fan base, when I do Dr. Peluso on Mondays, thanks to you, I'm a doctor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I answer questions for everybody and sometimes they're medical and I'll Google and try and give a little bit of information but a lot of times it's girls like this guy is such a jerk and you know should I text him back and you're allowing the assholes into your life to satisfy that void inside of you you know you're sort of allowing that behavior because the negative effect that you have is like that reinforcement and just brings you back into that cycle of trauma and abuse that you experienced before. | ||
| That's very deep. | ||
| I feel like I can get deep here with you, Joe, and you won't judge me. | ||
| No, I don't judge you at all. | ||
| And as a father of daughters, that's why I say, like, do you feel a certain way about raising daughters in this climate? | ||
| Because that's my experience, and I know what it's like. | ||
| I'm a very hopeful person. | ||
| And my hope, not just for my daughters, not just for everyone in this room, but for everybody, is that all this stuff is a wake-up call for us. | ||
| And I think that when we're talking about these deeply ingrained patterns of behavior that people get into, And that we need to, you know, especially with healthcare, but also with education, all the things that you need to keep your body healthy and to allow you to advance in life, to give you a chance in life, to be in a place that's crime-free, to have nutrition, and to have healthcare, and to have education. | ||
| If we could give that to everybody. | ||
| Like, I've always said, like, if we really wanted to make this the best country ever, what would be the first thing you would do? | ||
| You'd say, well, we need to have less losers. | ||
| I don't mean losers like they're weak. | ||
| I mean like they got dealt the wrong hand. | ||
| You got born into a terrible neighborhood that's crime infested and it's been this way for decades and no one's going to change it and there's just gangs and drugs. | ||
| You can't say that someone who's born in that neighborhood has the same starting line as someone who was born in Bel Air. | ||
| It's crazy to say. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So we gotta figure out how to have more people have more of a chance. | ||
| And instead of thinking that it's all for us, you know, like the people that do well, like whether it's through Wall Street or business, instead of like continually chasing more and more money, maybe something like this would make us say like, We gotta reinvest in bringing everybody up and then there'll be more competition which would be better for everybody because you have more people that are striving to get better and people push you. | ||
| People that are good push you and you become better because of them. | ||
| Iron sharpens iron. | ||
| It's in the Bible. | ||
| You need it. | ||
| You keep moving. | ||
| And then we could somehow or another make things at least slightly more even because it's not like you can't fix it. | ||
| It's a huge disparity, though. | ||
| But it's not like these crime-ridden, like, this is just what it is. | ||
| No, there's no solution. | ||
| We've put all the mathematicians and all the social engineers, and we can't fix it. | ||
| The education aspect is a huge, huge issue, like the access to education. | ||
| Access to safety. | ||
| Yeah, you're absolutely right. | ||
| And then healthy food. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And then understanding the choices, like why you want to eat healthy food and what's the difference, and educate people. | ||
| Just educate people on that. | ||
| How many people grow up and they don't even know that drinking all that sugar or eating all that sugar is going to fuck you up long term? | ||
| Well, it goes back to what you were saying about the parental influence. | ||
| It's ingrained in who you are. | ||
| It becomes that sort of vicious cycle of rinse and repeat how you eat, how you live. | ||
| It's definitely an issue. | ||
| But there is something to say about people who experience... | ||
| Severe trauma and they live in bad neighborhoods where they go the complete opposite route. | ||
| You know, both of us. | ||
| I mean, look at comedians. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, that's born out of a seed of trauma. | ||
| And, you know, there's a lot of amazing businessmen and women who achieved what they achieved because of the disparity they experienced in their childhood. | ||
| So there is something to the dichotomy of the journey from experiencing the trauma to achieving success, but I do agree. | ||
| Everyone needs to be lifted up so that the whole community can experience the benefit of that. | ||
| The thing about this COVID that makes me scared on a level, like on a little bit of a level, is desperate people do really bad things. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Because they need things for their family to survive. | ||
| And I'm not saying that's where we're at right now. | ||
| It could have gone that route. | ||
| But imagine having people with access to safety and education and food. | ||
| Everyone would chill the fuck out a bit. | ||
| Right, because he wouldn't be worried about survival. | ||
| No! | ||
| But still, you know, there's so many things that are fucked up about this, right? | ||
| That we've never had this happen in our lifetimes, hasn't happened in a hundred years. | ||
| There's so many things that are fucked up about this. | ||
| But the repercussions, we've got to be real careful about how we manage the repercussions of starting everything back up, the economy, starting it... | ||
| What do you think is going to be, what do you think one of the first issues is with opening things back up that we're going to experience? | ||
| Restaurants, comedy shows, like that kind of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Where people gather. | ||
| Movie theaters are probably fucked, right? | ||
| Are you saying about the reinfection and the re... | ||
| I think they're going to be scared to... | ||
| People are going to be scared to go. | ||
| They're not going to want anybody sitting like right next to each other in the movie theater like it used to be. | ||
| So they're probably like multiple seats that are open. | ||
| So the movie theaters won't make nearly as much money. | ||
| Probably cut their... | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| Probably maybe even more than in half. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, there's gonna be a lot of people that are scared to go to the movies and now they also set a precedent where you can watch movies on Apple TV. It's not the same! | ||
| I miss going to movies and I know that's such a like self-serving desire and want and it's not necessary, but I fucking miss it. | ||
| I miss going to the movies. | ||
| It's not the same watching at home. | ||
| You know what never happens at home? | ||
| No one ever talks at home. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's not two people in front of you having a conversation. | ||
| What do you think he's gonna do with that? | ||
| I yell at those people. | ||
| Those fucking people. | ||
| I'm an asshole. | ||
| But that's the problem with going to the movies. | ||
| Look, if you get lucky, you go to the movies and there's a hundred cool people in there, you have a great time. | ||
| I've seen some movies with cool people. | ||
| I think the movie really dictates that as well. | ||
| But if you're in a movie where everybody's laughing, like if it's a killer movie, it's a really funny movie. | ||
| It's an experience! | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's almost like being in a comedy club. | ||
| Yeah, you feel the energy. | ||
| But when motherfuckers talk, you know when that really doesn't happen? | ||
| When it's like nerdy movies. | ||
| You know, like Filmhouse. | ||
| You know, if you go see like Peanut Butter Falcon. | ||
| Nobody's fucking talking during that. | ||
| You didn't see Peanut Butter Falcon? | ||
| No, what is it? | ||
| With Shia LaBeouf? | ||
| Is that how you say his name? | ||
| If it's not, we're going to say it that way from now on. | ||
| I'm sorry, Shia. | ||
| I'm a big fan. | ||
| I think that's how you say it. | ||
| Is that how you say it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do you say it? | |
| Les bouffes? | ||
| It sounds like something that gay guys do in France. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Les bouffes? | ||
| Les bouffes. | ||
| Peanut Butter Falcon was this great movie about this special needs kid and his... | ||
| Friend that he picks up along the way in the journey that they make together. | ||
| Like a total, you know, feel-good movie, but it features this really talented special-needs actor. | ||
| It's a heartwarming film, and Shai, he's a great actor. | ||
| Did you ever see that thing where he, when Trump was elected, he was getting people to chant, he will not divide us, he will not divide us? | ||
| Yeah, I remember something about that. | ||
| Where was he? | ||
| Well, this is why it became funny. | ||
| Was it Reddit or 4chan? | ||
| 4chan, right? | ||
| That did it? | ||
| 4chan. | ||
| So there's this website of mischievous people called 4chan. | ||
| And they found out that he had set up on his website, he had a webcam on this flag that said he will not divide us. | ||
| And he had this flag in the middle of Oklahoma somewhere on a webcam streaming on his website. | ||
| So the geniuses, these nerd geniuses, decided to triangulate where that was based on the stars that you could see on the webcam in the distance. | ||
| They figured out where it was on planet Earth. | ||
| Then they had someone drive around in a truck and honk the horn while another person... | ||
| Was listening to the webcam and see if it gets louder or quieter. | ||
| So as they got closer and closer, it's genius shit. | ||
| They finally got to the webcam. | ||
| They took the flag down. | ||
| The guy looks in front of the camera and goes, fuck Shia LaBeouf. | ||
| I have to say that was a fucking rollercoaster of a story. | ||
| It's genius. | ||
| It was a genius thing. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Radiolab had a whole podcast about it. | ||
| It was really interesting. | ||
| Because first of all, no one got hurt. | ||
| This is not about violence. | ||
| This is not about terrorism. | ||
| No one got hurt. | ||
| About point of views. | ||
| But it's also funny. | ||
| It's also funny. | ||
| And if you don't think that's funny, well then you must not have had a job that you hated where you sit in a cubicle and you Google funny shit because that's funny. | ||
| It is really fucking funny. | ||
| That is fucking funny. | ||
| And look, Shia's going to get over it. | ||
| If that's all the guy did, say fuck Shia LaBeouf, that shit's hilarious. | ||
| If that was me and I was a pretentious fuck and I had a sign that said he will not divide us and I put it on my website. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you show him your butthole? | |
| No, but if I did and they found my flag and they took it down and they went fuck Joe Rogan, I'd be like, ah, you got me. | ||
| That's pretty, like, talented, and the fact that they found it by the stars? | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| 4chan, they said, well, it was on this website, 4chan, that's been known to be sexist and misogynistic and all the other isstics and isms. | ||
| What does that have to do with it? | ||
| It has nothing to do with it! | ||
| No. | ||
| Because someone might have posted, like, a Hitler frog tweet. | ||
| With the Pepe the Frog. | ||
| Oh, Hitler Frog? | ||
| What's that children's book? | ||
| You know, the Pepe the Frog. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yes. | ||
| Because on that same message board, somebody might have posted a picture of that, of the thousands and thousands of users, they'll use something like that to say, oh, this is just what 4chan is. | ||
| Right, to group it. | ||
| It's just the worst people on Earth, the biggest monsters ever. | ||
| Yeah, and people that found that fucking flag by staring at the stars. | ||
| Okay, they're that too. | ||
| You don't think that's amazing? | ||
| You don't think that's amazing? | ||
| And all they did is say, fuck Shia LaBeou. | ||
| That's it! | ||
| That's like talent that should be focused in a specific field. | ||
| Listen, it probably is. | ||
| They're probably just bored. | ||
| They're probably tired of this fucking shit. | ||
| And they saw it and they're like, this guy, I'm going to find it. | ||
| I'm going to find that flag. | ||
| And then they put their nerd minds to the test. | ||
| Do you know how good it must have felt to find the fucking flag? | ||
| Yeah, it's like a movie. | ||
| Like find an X and dig a hole and find Pirate's Booty. | ||
| It's like a treasure hunt. | ||
| It's like the ultimate treasure hunt. | ||
| It's a treasure hunt. | ||
| So Radiolab took the podcast down. | ||
| I love Radiolab. | ||
| It's one of my absolute favorite podcasts. | ||
| Why'd they take it down? | ||
| Because people were complaining that they're supporting 4chan by making that podcast. | ||
| But that feels like a threat of freedom of speech. | ||
| Well, if people don't like something, we're going to start taking it down. | ||
| Like, no, keep it up, because only those conversations are the ones that move the needle on a societal level. | ||
| Like, only those conversations where people are debating, do we learn and grow if we open ourselves up to that? | ||
| I mean, if you and I sat here and agreed on everything, it'd be a fun conversation, but it's also interesting to have, you know, alternate points of view and learn from one another. | ||
| Also, they didn't do anything that deserves to have them nuked from the historical record. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| If you have people and you have an open message board, which is what it is, and people post awful shit, that doesn't even really represent who they are most of the time. | ||
| When people are posting, they're posting because they're bored or they want a reaction. | ||
| It's a terrible way to communicate with people. | ||
| It is. | ||
| And it's also, find a way to create some sort of algorithm to block people like that. | ||
| Instead of taking down the people who are putting up these videos, instead of censoring, you should just block the trolls. | ||
| Block the trolls and they can go someplace else. | ||
| But people are doing that. | ||
| They do that themselves because they want to get a reaction out of people. | ||
| They do. | ||
| I guarantee, when you see people that post that Pepe the Frog with a Hitler hat on, they're doing this. | ||
| They're doing it to freak people out more than they're doing it because that's their ideology, that they're actually a Nazi. | ||
| Way more of them are doing it to fuck with you, and they're trying to do it anonymously. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's just a weird way to communicate. | ||
| I experienced that early on during this whole quarantine thing where I was doing a Zoom, a podcast via Zoom. | ||
| Oh, did you get Zoomed? | ||
| Homie. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| I've been hearing about these. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| So I went to record my podcast, Sharp Tongue Podcast, shout out to my own podcast, on Zoom, and I didn't set the parameters. | ||
| I didn't know that you, there's like settings to it to make it kind of closed. | ||
| Oh, you can make it closed. | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| I sent the link out. | ||
| I didn't know you could make it closed. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I sent the link out and everybody who had the link could access and post and show their video. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And I didn't know this because this was like the first week of, you know, everyone figuring out Zoom. | ||
| And so it went dark web quick. | ||
| There was definitely someone fucking, a woman screaming in the background, people screaming the N-word at me, saying, Jesse likes to fuck N-words and all this craziness and screaming and death metal. | ||
| Did you record all this? | ||
| No, but... | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I was just trying to shut it the fuck down. | |
| Oh my God, you need a real producer. | ||
| Because I was trying to do a podcast. | ||
| If that was young Jamie, he would have hit record and we'd be like, this is going to be amazing. | ||
| We're going to be on Reddit's front page. | ||
| It was so early on, I didn't have access to my normal producer girl, and so I was just like, oh, I can do this myself. | ||
| I'm going to learn and do it myself, and I learned the hard way to not... | ||
| Dip out into the web. | ||
| People left it their own, like, their own expression. | ||
| If they know they're not being watched or if they know that they're not displaying who they really are, they're fucking dark. | ||
| They can be, but I think even that, they're trying to get a reaction. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They were trying to get a reaction. | ||
| It's just a dumb way to communicate openly with strangers. | ||
| They got one because I was like, oh, oh, whoa, what is going on in here? | ||
| You can't have that. | ||
| You can't have that in your life. | ||
| I had to shut that down, but it was a quick little glimpse into how people will try and get a reaction out of you. | ||
| Yeah, they're bored. | ||
| People are so on edge right now. | ||
| They're bored out of their fucking mind. | ||
| And bored is okay. | ||
| We still got two more weeks. | ||
| Boredom's fine. | ||
| I'm not afraid of boredom. | ||
| People are going, I'm so bored. | ||
| Fucking learn a language. | ||
| Pick up a guitar. | ||
| Boredom is a time for you to put your brain to use or to give your brain a break. | ||
| You know, people are like, I'm bored. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go out for a walk. | |
| Can we not do that? | ||
| Can we not go outside in nature? | ||
| I think people need interests. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Find something you're interested in, whether it's documentaries on shit or find something you want to try to learn how to do. | ||
| Find a purpose. | ||
| There's a lot of things you can learn how to do online. | ||
| There's so many things. | ||
| I mean, there's no excuse now. | ||
| I mean, Yale even offered that, like, course in the, what is it, like, well-being? | ||
| Like, something like the... | ||
| Who's going to teach that course? | ||
| I mean, probably some lady who has a lot of cats, but it was a free course from Yale, is the point. | ||
| Early on, they're like, here, you could learn all sorts of things in this. | ||
| I think boredom is an excuse for laziness. | ||
| Yale should have a course on stuff like that, on self-help people and hypnotists. | ||
| What do you think about hypnotists? | ||
| Do you think it's real? | ||
| Have you ever been hypnotized? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Can you tell me what it's like? | ||
| Well, my friend Vinny Shorman, he does what I do for the UFC. He does that for a lot of Muay Thai events. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| He's a commentator. | ||
| And he's also a hypnotist and a mental coach. | ||
| He works with a lot of fighters. | ||
| And I said, I want to know what it's like. | ||
| He said, okay, I'll hypnotize you. | ||
| And I'm like, all right, here we go. | ||
| So he sits me down. | ||
| He counts me through this thing. | ||
| And next thing you know, you're in this weird state. | ||
| I don't know how long it took to get me hypnotized. | ||
| A couple minutes or so. | ||
| But I gave into it. | ||
| I was trying to just listen to him. | ||
| He's a friend. | ||
| I really like him. | ||
| So it was easy to trust him and just say, all right, let's see what this is all about. | ||
| And I feel like it puts you in a place where it cuts down. | ||
| You're still conscious. | ||
| You're not like, at least I was. | ||
| It's not like you don't know what's going on. | ||
| You wake up with your pants down. | ||
| It's not like that. | ||
| Hello, college. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hello. | |
| That's a funny thing you always say. | ||
| Whenever you text, Jessie Mae will send me a text, but is there a right fuck? | ||
| It's F-U-X-T. And I said, why don't you ever use the C? And she goes, it's too open. | ||
| It reminds me of college. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember that one time I texted you and I was like, I'm going to Japan. | |
| Oh my god, that's so exciting. | ||
| when I was like, just kidding. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When? | |
| I'm high eating sushi. | ||
| So, hey, I was reading this thing about Japan, about their COVID deaths are really low. | ||
| Am I hypnotized right now? | ||
| Because you talked about it and totally diverted. | ||
| Oh, the hypnotist thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, I keep doing it. | ||
| I keep talking about it. | ||
| But it was interesting. | ||
| It's like, just, I wanted to be, sounds crazy, but my thing would be to try to figure out how to distract myself less, have less procrastination, You're a procrastinator? | ||
| No, very little, but I want to get rid of it. | ||
| Even the little I got left. | ||
| I can't imagine. | ||
| If you're procrastinating, it just seems like a lie. | ||
| A couple years ago, maybe it worked. | ||
| Before I moved into the studio. | ||
| But it was just an interesting way of channeling out all the bullshit and getting to the heart of who you are in this weird way. | ||
| It gets to this weird Center of you. | ||
| And then as it expands back out to regular consciousness, it's like you're filled in with the outside world and a lot of other shit. | ||
| It reminded me a lot of experiences that you can get or states of mind that you can get when you do the float tank. | ||
| I was going to say ketamine, but yeah. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| But I know a lot of people are into that now. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| I know so many people are doing ketamine. | ||
| I'm like, settle down. | ||
| That kills people, you fucks. | ||
| Well, I mean, if you get the right guy, the right person to do it, you could survive. | ||
| You're having ketamine parties up in the beach. | ||
| Come on over, guys. | ||
| We're having quarantine ketamine parties in my apartment. | ||
| There's a thing about the float tank. | ||
| You get to this state where you can kind of see things more clearly. | ||
| Yeah, you feel like you're one with everything. | ||
| It's strange. | ||
| It's very weird, right? | ||
| Very healing, though. | ||
| So it sounds like hypnotism partnered with the right person could be a way to get into your mind and sort of do some therapy? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Because that's what float tank was for me as well. | ||
| I think it's real similar because it leaves you alone, other than the fact that when you do hypnotism you'll be suggested and you'll be having a conversation with the therapist, the person who's doing it to you. | ||
| I'm only basing it on my one experience. | ||
| I've seen some other hypnotism stuff online but I've only had it done once. | ||
| But I think that as people learn how to float and learn how to relax, you can kind of use your inner voice and you can guide yourself through various aspects of things that you find troubling, things that are bothering you, things, patterns, bad patterns that you keep recreating over and over again. | ||
| Anxieties. | ||
| Anxieties. | ||
| Yeah, and perspective. | ||
| And I think that there's a real value to being alone with your thoughts, and there's no better place to be alone with your thoughts than a float tank. | ||
| Yeah, sensory deprivation. | ||
| I think it's a sense, in a way, it's like a self-hypnotism. | ||
| There's something to it. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| That's an interesting approach. | ||
| I think you're probably right. | ||
| It's almost like you're in a womb, in the womb again. | ||
| Yeah, you're free of all the bullshit. | ||
| It really helps you just let the fuck go. | ||
| Let go of your ego, of your worry, and all of that. | ||
| Do you float a lot? | ||
| I have one right here. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| I have a tank right here. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It's the beautiful thing about it is that it gets you away from all the other information. | ||
| Like, you're always getting information. | ||
| There's always something coming at you. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Most of it's subliminal. | ||
| You don't even realize the effect it's having on your brain. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| And all of those synapses that are firing, and at some point they need to relieve themselves. | ||
| And when you're sleeping, I'm sure it affects your ability to go into those deep REM cycles. | ||
| You're supposed to get like three or four a night. | ||
| Maybe you don't get as many because all day long we're inundated with these phones and these screens and the sounds. | ||
| And especially us, we're in the city. | ||
| There's value to removing yourself from a highly populated area. | ||
| That's the one thing I've realized about this quarantine is the appeal of the rural life. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I was talking with Justin, our friends from ABX, and he was showing me a video of his home, and it's just all this beautiful grass. | ||
| Just green. | ||
| Don't tell anybody where he lives. | ||
| I won't, but it was just beautiful. | ||
| If you guys, I'll send you the video, you guys can geotag it by the blades of grass, you fucking nerds. | ||
| Cut to article, Jessie Mae supports 4chan. | ||
| I'm out there protesting for 4chan, yeah. | ||
| I just think there's a value to surrounding yourself in nature. | ||
| And for you, I'm sure you've provided yourself an existence that... | ||
| It represents your values in life, but do you feel like the way you live right now in your house, in your home, feels like a real homestead to you? | ||
| Or does it still feel out of place because you wish you were someplace else? | ||
| Well, when things like this happen, one thing you realize, there's two things you realize. | ||
| One, that it's really nice to have a nice community. | ||
| I have a bunch of nice neighbors. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I wave to them. | ||
| I love that we talk to each other. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| That's really sweet. | ||
| It means a lot to you when shit gets weird, you know? | ||
| When you have a bunch of nice people that live near you. | ||
| But two, makes me realize the value of being able to grow your own food. | ||
| Like, if you lived on a fucking farm and some shit went down, you wouldn't have to go anywhere. | ||
| You'd go... | ||
| You've got... | ||
| Animals and vegetables and you're managing everything. | ||
| If you live on a small organic farm, that's like the move. | ||
| That is the move. | ||
| The move is you have a small organic farm and then you have a few friends that live on this property with a small organic farm. | ||
| And you split time. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| And you share the value of the resources of the stuff that you grow yourself. | ||
| You could get away from having supermarkets if you did that. | ||
| You really could. | ||
| You know who lives like that? | ||
| The actor who played Shazam is Zachary Levi. | ||
| I like that guy a lot. | ||
| Have you interviewed him? | ||
| I would love to have him on. | ||
| He'd be a great guest on here. | ||
| He speaks a lot about mental health and he has a place. | ||
| Does he really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's great on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. | ||
| Oh, he was wonderful. | ||
| He was such a great... | ||
| Supporting character to her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Shazam was amazing. | ||
| Did you watch that with your kids? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it was adorable. | |
| So fun. | ||
| But he lives like that. | ||
| He's got like a commune. | ||
| Not like a culty thing. | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| Oh, sex. | ||
| You're just saying words. | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sex. | |
| Which sounds great. | ||
| I know how they do it. | ||
| It always starts like, oh, we're just going to grow tomatoes together. | ||
| Next thing you know, he's gotta fuck your wife and you have to give him 10%. | ||
| It's literally Wanderlust, that movie Wanderlust. | ||
| Has anybody ever done a cult right? | ||
| Anybody? | ||
| Well, what's doing a cult right? | ||
| What would the Joe Rogan cult look like? | ||
| The problem is you die and someone else takes over and they fuck it up. | ||
| That's what happens with every good empire. | ||
| Even if you figure it out the first time, if you get it right, someone dies, the new guy comes along, ruins everything. | ||
| Would you have people drink the punch? | ||
| No. | ||
| It'd be too much work to run a cult. | ||
| It's too much work. | ||
| But I'm saying it's amazing that no one, like the last one to come up with a good one was like Scientology, right? | ||
| That's the last one that stuck. | ||
| Who was that? | ||
| L. Ron Hubbard. | ||
| Science fiction author, by the way. | ||
| Fucking genius. | ||
| Really bad science fiction author. | ||
| Really bad. | ||
| But it talks a lot and says a lot to the power of persuasion. | ||
| You ever read his stuff? | ||
| No, I... You need to read his stuff. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Is it like Harry Potter? | ||
| It's all first draft. | ||
| There's never a second draft. | ||
| It's the most nonsense. | ||
| And narcissistic. | ||
| But it's bonkers. | ||
| Like, the stuff, it's bonkers. | ||
| Like, some of the reading, like, he would write these stories and he would get paid like, you know, like a penny a word or some shit like that. | ||
| And he would write like a bunch of them for like Strange Times Magazine and stuff like way back in the day. | ||
| Like, this is what he did before he created Scientology. | ||
| He wrote these stories. | ||
| And, you know, like, what was the one, that John Travolta movie that they made of? | ||
| Battlefield Earth. | ||
| Damn, Jamie! | ||
| He's a wizard. | ||
| You got that mushroom coffee going? | ||
| He's a wizard. | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| Are you an AI? Did you ever see that? | ||
| Did you ever see Battlefield Earth? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, with the eyebrows? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Amazing. | ||
| L. Ron Hubbard didn't write that. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| And it was John Travolta's lifelong dream to turn that movie into one of the most preposterous movies of all time. | ||
| He turned that book into a masterpiece. | ||
| He looks like every white guy who wishes he was black. | ||
| Look at the dreads. | ||
| They're supposed to be giant, and the humans are these little tiny people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who is that? | |
| Is that... | ||
| Forrest Whitaker. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah, so anyway, this movie is, uh, it's like Showgirls. | ||
| You ever watch Showgirls for fun? | ||
| A great movie. | ||
| For fun. | ||
| Great movie. | ||
| It's so bad, you're like, what in the fuck? | ||
| It's like, there's a lot of movies like that that are great because they're awful. | ||
| I need to rewatch this. | ||
| Yeah, he looks like a dude who hacky-sacks in a park during the day. | ||
| Please do this for me and for your fans. | ||
| For me and for your fans. | ||
| Spark up and do a fight companion for Battlefield Earth. | ||
| I will do that. | ||
| You watch Battlefield Earth for the first time and queue it up so that people can watch along. | ||
| They'll just see you, but they can watch Battlefield Earth on one screen and you on the other. | ||
| If they queue it up at the same time, they'll get you reacting to the movie. | ||
| That's such a good idea. | ||
| I'm going to do that for the next podcast episode. | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| I think you might have to have headphones on because you probably couldn't have the content of it streaming, right? | ||
| My mind is blown that he wrote this. | ||
| Let me check. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| You gotta read some of the stuff he wrote. | ||
| You read some of the stuff he wrote and you go, well, this is terrible. | ||
| So is this like, is this, it's bad? | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| It looks really good. | ||
| It reminds me of like... | ||
| It's so bad. | ||
| It's just like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| The fuck are you doing? | ||
| But people like that... | ||
| And I've said this about Hitler and people who are... | ||
| Just people who have these massive capabilities of persuading just a mass of people. | ||
| Like L. Ron Hubbard? | ||
| L. Ron Hubbard. | ||
| It's like a missed opportunity to do something good. | ||
| Well, have you ever read that book, Lawrence Wright's book? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Clear? | ||
| Is it Lawrence Wright? | ||
| Is that who wrote it? | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| The book on Scientology is amazing. | ||
| I mean, fucking amazing. | ||
| Was it an HBO series he did on it? | ||
| They did some... | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| It's a book about... | ||
| It depicts books about how he created it. | ||
| How L. Ron Hubbard created the... | ||
| Alex Gibney. | ||
| Alex Gibney. | ||
| Director and screenplay. | ||
| Okay, that's that. | ||
| But there was a book written too. | ||
| Yeah, there was a book written too. | ||
| Going Clear? | ||
| Maybe it's Going Clear. | ||
| That's what this is called. | ||
| That's called Going Clear. | ||
| I wonder, like, you know in marketing how there's like a tipping point to like where things become like... | ||
| They're both titled the same thing. | ||
| So go ahead, Claire Lawrence Wright, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| Okay. | ||
| So I think the other one is that Alex Gibney directed the... | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| They're both... | ||
| Must be. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| The story behind it is he was self-helping himself. | ||
| So he was psychologically kind of fucked up, and he was sort of self-diagnosing and self-medicating, giving him self-therapy by taking a lot of these principles of different self-help books and different psychology books that he had read. | ||
| And then he started applying that, and then he started putting that together with some, like, fucking... | ||
| UFOs? | ||
| UFOs and Thetans... | ||
| So, like, Tony Robbins on crack? | ||
| I forget what the director's name, and they're going clear on HBO. It's fucking amazing. | ||
| And one of them, there's this guy who's a big-time Hollywood guy who is in Scientology. | ||
| I forget what he did. | ||
| He's a director, right? | ||
| Paul Haggis? | ||
| Yes, that guy. | ||
| And Paul, like, he's a really, really respected Hollywood guy, right? | ||
| Makes movies. | ||
| And he's deep into this thing, right? | ||
| Probably giving him millions of dollars or something like this. | ||
| And then finally he gets to read these handwritten notes that he's been waiting for. | ||
| You're on to the next level. | ||
| And he's like, am I being trolled? | ||
| He thinks it's almost like a test. | ||
| The next level? | ||
| Like it's Super Mario Brothers? | ||
| Exactly like Super Mario Brothers. | ||
| But that's kind of smart. | ||
| That's smart marketing. | ||
| Well, it is. | ||
| A false sense of achievement, like you've achieved something different. | ||
| And that's what I was saying. | ||
| Do you think how in marketing there's a tipping point to when things become viral and more popular? | ||
| Do you think there's a tipping point to Scientology? | ||
| Just the floodgates opened and then everybody was sort of following? | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| If you follow a lot of the tenets of things like Dianetics, all these self-help tenets, if you follow the good stuff, You can actually do better. | ||
| And you'll do better because you're also focusing on the fact that you're following this path that's going to do better. | ||
| So your intention, your focus during your day is of improving and doing better. | ||
| And applying all of that. | ||
| So a lot of people, whether they join this or whether they take something less venine like Tony Robbins stuff, which is very motivational but without the cult, Mostly. | ||
| I mean, he's not your guru. | ||
| He seems really good for a guy that's experienced what he's experienced, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| To be that, doing that kind of stuff for this long. | ||
| I'm actually reading Awake the Beast Within. | ||
| I read Unlimited Power like in 1989 or some shit. | ||
| It was great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's a great book. | |
| It's great. | ||
| There's a lot of great stuff in it. | ||
| But those people that, if you're one of those people that's doing something like that, Like the giant, not the beast. | ||
| Giant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who was the other example that I used? | ||
| The other motivational dude. | ||
| Jamie. | ||
| Help! | ||
| How did we both forget? | ||
| I said Tony Robbins and who else? | ||
| Anyway, point is, people want something that guides them in a positive direction. | ||
| If they think it's going to be Tony Robbins or if they think it's going to be Scientology, they're trying to do better, right? | ||
| So if you say, well, Scientology really helped my life. | ||
| It did. | ||
| But why did it help your life? | ||
| It helped your life because you decided to focus on doing better in your life, and you used the tenets of Scientology, which some of them are really good. | ||
| I read Dianetics, or at least I read a couple of chapters. | ||
| It's like religion. | ||
| There are aspects of it that you can apply to your life and benefit from it. | ||
| But then there's the tribal side that gets crazy. | ||
| With everything, though, look how focused Tom Cruise is. | ||
| He is very focused. | ||
| Where is he? | ||
| Does anybody know? | ||
| He's in a bunker right now. | ||
| He's in outer space. | ||
| Rehabbing his ankle. | ||
| He broke in half doing Mission Impossible. | ||
| Did you see that shit? | ||
| Was that when he jumped on the wall? | ||
| Dude, he's like... | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| 172. He's at least 56 years old. | ||
| He's 5,000 years old. | ||
| He's from another galaxy. | ||
| 57? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Do you think you could take him down? | ||
| 57 years old. | ||
| 57 years old. | ||
| He jumps from one building all the way to the other with his fucking rope attached to him and mishits it and slams his ankle into the side of the building. | ||
| You see his foot compresses. | ||
| His ankle's fucksville. | ||
| Why do they allow... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly! | |
| What clause in the movie contract? | ||
| Are they like, yeah, we're going to have Tom... | ||
| Or do you think he was just like, fuck it, I'm going to do it? | ||
| He's going to do it and you could eat shit all day because he's fucking Tom Cruise. | ||
| Sit down! | ||
| You can't handle the truth! | ||
| He learned all that helicopter piloting for the movie too. | ||
| He did it? | ||
| He flew? | ||
| That's what they said and showed. | ||
| He's a legit maniac. | ||
| Love him or hate him, that guy is a legit maniac. | ||
| A badass actor. | ||
| If you don't think he is, watch Interview with the Vampire and shut the fuck up. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good one. | ||
| He was amazing in that movie. | ||
| Also legend, for the ladies who are listening from the 1980s. | ||
| Ladies from the 80s, the legend. | ||
| Tom Cruise was in The Legend. | ||
| You remember that movie? | ||
| I do remember. | ||
| You're a nerd, that's right. | ||
| You'd watch that type of movie. | ||
| I remember that movie. | ||
| That was a dope movie. | ||
| It was. | ||
| Tim Curry is a devil. | ||
| So this is him really hanging on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Yes! | ||
| No, it is. | ||
| Why does he look like Donald Trump's son? | ||
| No, this is him really hanging on right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| No, no, no, I have chills. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh god, are you for real? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I have such a hype... | ||
| Do you understand how hard that is to do? | ||
| No, no, because I wouldn't do it. | ||
| This crazy fuck's holding onto a plane! | ||
| Now, do you attribute that to Scientology? | ||
| Yes, it has to be. | ||
| It's the only other way he could have done it. | ||
| So, also, he's flying this helicopter for real, so he's doing this crazy helicopter stunt for real. | ||
| By himself. | ||
| By himself, this fucking maniac. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He also drives race cars! | |
| You remember when I said about playing pool? | ||
| You watch someone play pool in a movie and they look like dark shit? | ||
| He looked good in the color of money. | ||
| Do you think there's a level of sociopathy that's playing there? | ||
| Why do you have to find negative? | ||
| Why can't you just look at the positive? | ||
| No, it was a question. | ||
| I didn't say. | ||
| I offered a question. | ||
| He's out there making it happen, Jessie Mae. | ||
| Why you gotta look at the dark side? | ||
| Is this your man? | ||
| Why is the glass half empty, Jessie Mae? | ||
| Listen, Adam, look at these fucking crashes that he has riding his motorcycle. | ||
| You just gotta think, out of all the people that have done all the action movies, who is wild in this motherfucker? | ||
| He's the Michael Jordan of action movies. | ||
| Who's wilder than this motherfucker? | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| Vin Diesel. | ||
| I just threw a name out there. | ||
| I threw a name. | ||
| Sounds like he should be with that name. | ||
| Vin Diesel? | ||
| Do you know how cocky you have to be to make up that name? | ||
| Vin Diesel. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| It's a name that comes with a lot of attitude. | ||
| Do you think Tom Cruise is a daredevil? | ||
| He's a savage. | ||
| Do you think he thinks he's immortal because of Scientology? | ||
| I think he thinks he gets his own planet when he dies, or is that a Mormon? | ||
| That's a Mormon, right? | ||
| Mormons get their own planet. | ||
| They do? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Dude, there's a fucking album from Johnny and Marie, or the Osmond Brothers. | ||
| It's from the Osmond Brothers. | ||
| And inside the album, when you open it up, it's from back in the Diz A. The album, the name of the album is the name of this thing that happens when you get your own planet, when you die. | ||
| And then there's all these different people, they all have their own planet inside the album. | ||
| Okay, we need to know that album title. | ||
| Here it is, here it is. | ||
| The Plan. | ||
| Okay, that looks like... | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| A cult. | ||
| Which one is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it's that one. | |
| I think it's the one with the planet on it. | ||
| Look at the pink people. | ||
| There's one that you open it up, and then the inside of it, it's got all the different... | ||
| Do I remember? | ||
| Am I remembering this wrong? | ||
| I know we did. | ||
| Joe Rogan, you're a treasure chest of information. | ||
| No, useless shit. | ||
| I told you, my chimp brain is overused. | ||
| It's taxed. | ||
| The information just stumbling out of it, out of nowhere. | ||
| It makes for perfect podcast fodder, though. | ||
| Oh, you reminded me, remember when I said it? | ||
| I'm mentally ill, and it works well in this genre. | ||
| I wanted to tell you something. | ||
| Speaking of chimps, I was reading this thing about sperm competition in correlation with sack size. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The size of the balls. | ||
| And as I was reading that, Joey Diaz's video. | ||
| Was on Twitch. | ||
| Was on Twitter. | ||
| And so he calls me last night and he's like, what are you doing, beautiful? | ||
| Like, oh, I'm just hanging out. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, oh, I'm hanging out with the missus and the kid. | |
| And I was like, oh, it sounds nice. | ||
| And he goes, did you check out those nuts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I was like, yes, I did, Joe. | ||
| They're not nuts. | ||
| They are fucking planetary systems. | ||
| It's a universe. | ||
| I've never seen nuts like that in my life. | ||
| What happened with the violation? | ||
| Didn't they get a legitimate violation from that? | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| He just... | ||
| Joey's so necessary. | ||
| Oh, look at them! | ||
| It looks like a Louis Vuitton bag. | ||
| Look how he jiggles them for you, too. | ||
| He's so proud. | ||
| He's like a kid. | ||
| He's like a fucking four-year-old. | ||
| I love him so much. | ||
| Look at... | ||
| He called me to make sure I saw it. | ||
| The fact that he thought he could do that on a fucking live stream for the Comedy Store. | ||
| People don't realize how necessary of a person Joey Diaz is. | ||
| Somebody who pushes the ticket like this, who literally moves the needle with his nutsack. | ||
| He's such a... | ||
| He's a national treasure. | ||
| He really is. | ||
| I love him so much. | ||
| No, he really is. | ||
| He's a one-of-a-kind. | ||
| But that's a great example. | ||
| He experienced the fucking... | ||
| The craziest. | ||
| The craziest life. | ||
| One of the craziest lives of anybody that's out of any of my friends. | ||
| And look what happens on the other end because of that. | ||
| And he's so gracious and he's so good to his friends and he has such a big heart on the other side of all of that. | ||
| It's so weird how much of who you are is based on these sort of random circumstances and then how you come out of them. | ||
| Well, I think a lot of it has to do with The absence and relationship to love and safety throughout your lifetime. | ||
| And what your relationship to love is. | ||
| Because when you're born as a creature, your job is to get love. | ||
| And then as you get a little older, you learn how to love. | ||
| And then as an adult, you learn how to give love. | ||
| And if that process is interrupted along the way, it's going to affect how you express that outwardly to people in your life. | ||
| And for someone like Joey Diaz, who... | ||
| As most people know, experienced almost every kind of trauma and crazy life experience you can have in a single lifetime. | ||
| For him to come out on the other side, who he is, it's a testament to, I don't know, a greater thing going on, like a bigger picture. | ||
| He consciously made a decision to be a different person. | ||
| Because I remember, I heard you talking about how you'd bring him on the road, and it wasn't always, you know, sometimes it was difficult. | ||
| He just had a real bad drug problem back then. | ||
| You know, he's talked about it pretty openly. | ||
| He just liked to do coke, and sometimes he showed up and sometimes he didn't. | ||
| And my take on it was, I did want to not work with Joey. | ||
| Like, I love Joey. | ||
| Did you love him immediately when you met him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think there was more than a couple weeks after Joey and I met that we were like best friends. | ||
| That's adorable. | ||
| But I grew up around wild people. | ||
| He's a wild person. | ||
| You seem like you're good with chaos. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But people like him was like, ah. | ||
| Because when I was growing up, I always felt... | ||
| I always felt out of place. | ||
| I didn't live with my real dad. | ||
| I lived with my stepdad. | ||
| We traveled around a lot, so a lot of times I was the new kid. | ||
| And I just didn't feel like I fit in with... | ||
| I looked at other people's lives. | ||
| The mom and dad were together, and the kids never got in trouble, and everyone was doing well in school. | ||
| I looked at them almost like they were aliens. | ||
| I was scared of them. | ||
| And I gravitated towards people that were like, you know, I haven't seen my dad since I was three. | ||
| My mom's been selling heroin. | ||
| They're like, all right, we're friends. | ||
| And then through all my choices, just sort of coincidentally, whether it's through martial arts and then through comedy, it sort of reinforced that. | ||
| It wasn't my thought. | ||
| When I was 17 years old, thinking I didn't fit in anywhere, it wasn't my thought. | ||
| I know what I'll do. | ||
| I'll go seek out stand-up comedians and fighters, and they'll understand me. | ||
| Yeah, people who sort of represent my own feelings. | ||
| People who are also fucked up. | ||
| People who also came from a less... | ||
| Just not a sub-optimal childhood, let's say it, because I wouldn't have a bad childhood. | ||
| There's many people that had way worse childhoods than me. | ||
| It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. | ||
| So it's like going over it and trying to think... | ||
| How many people are living way worse childhoods? | ||
| Way worse. | ||
| And then they have to correct as they're becoming an adult while they're working and they're in relationships. | ||
| To have self-awareness to know what it is. | ||
| And they're fucking busy with a million different things and they're not even concentrating on themselves. | ||
| Which is the thing you have to do. | ||
| If you have to get good at anything, right? | ||
| If you want to get good at playing basketball, you've got to concentrate on playing basketball. | ||
| You have to be focused. | ||
| Ask Jamie. | ||
| He's actually a basketball wizard. | ||
| Are those lies, Jamie? | ||
| You should see some three points. | ||
| You got a nice Jimmy Jimmy? | ||
| His three points are out of control. | ||
| But you have to concentrate on that. | ||
| How many times do people concentrate on being a better person? | ||
| Concentrate on who you are. | ||
| Concentrate on why you react to things the way you do, or whether or not you're pursuing your passions with 100% of your enthusiasm, or whether or not you could be more successful if you got up earlier and got more done and just had a better attitude about things. | ||
| Just more focused. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| The ego gets in the way of the self. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And it's those, you know, that self-work, the self-respect and self-care that you have to embark on. | ||
| But first you have self-awareness and to discover that requires a whole other situation and ability to access your humility. | ||
| You got to be brave. | ||
| You have to be very, very brave. | ||
| Not like brave like you're about to go stab a bear. | ||
| To face yourself! | ||
| There's a different kind of bravery. | ||
| There's some bravery, and this is the thing with men, right? | ||
| The big thing with men is men tend to be more inclined To place value on being brave in physical situations. | ||
| Brave where you save somebody, brave where you risked your life, brave where you did something that was a dangerous thing for the good of all or for the good of your loved ones. | ||
| But then the other kind of bravery, the kind of emotional bravery, where you look at yourself like accurately. | ||
| Mentors, they tend to shy away from that or to frown on that even. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| But it takes a kind of bravery to look at yourself accurately, too. | ||
| It's a different kind of bravery, but it's still, it's a daunting thing to sort of dissolve your pre-existing notions of who you are and look at yourself with fresh lenses. | ||
| Have your daughters helped you access that vulnerability about yourself? | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| Anytime you're raising little people and you realize how dangerous the world is for little people, and then these little people, you love them as much as any person you've ever loved times 10 in your whole life. | ||
| It's impossible to describe. | ||
| Every parent will tell you. | ||
| It doesn't even make sense. | ||
| When you see them, you just get like a love drug just floods through you. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| And it's so important, and as a girl who was a daughter of a girl dad, it's so important for you... | ||
| Wait a minute, you're a what? | ||
| You're the daughter of a girl dad? | ||
| A daughter of a dad who had a girl. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And it makes me emotional, but I had a really, really great dad. | ||
| Dude, do not cry. | ||
| I will fucking come over there right now and violate social distancing rules. | ||
| You cried on this podcast once! | ||
| I've cried a couple times, I'm just kidding. | ||
| But for you to love your daughters... | ||
| That love will carry them through all sorts of shit that they're going to experience. | ||
| That you cannot avoid. | ||
| Where you're not going to be able to be there and protect them the way you want to as a dad. | ||
| So you just loving them gives them all the strength they need for their entire life. | ||
| I'm sure you know that, but I just want to express it to you because I am that girl too. | ||
| My father loved me so, so much. | ||
| So it's such a responsibility because in order to... | ||
| Express that love as a man. | ||
| You have to have a humility about yourself and you have to be real about your vulnerabilities. | ||
| So it's an achievement as a guy, but also just as a man in society to do what you're doing. | ||
| So you're creating healthy girls, and we need more healthy girls in the world, so thank you. | ||
| Well, you're welcome. | ||
| I'm doing my best. | ||
| I'm doing my best to be a good dad. | ||
| But I think we all need to realize, and this is one of the things that I really realized when I started raising kids. | ||
| As time went on, I recognized that I don't look at people the same way anymore. | ||
| I look at them as babies that became people. | ||
| Where I used to always, if I met you, like, oh, here's Jessie Mae in 2020, and this is how she's always been. | ||
| That's just how I would think. | ||
| Oh, there's Jessie Mae. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hi, Jessie. | |
| I know what you look like. | ||
| I see you all the time. | ||
| Hey, Jessie Mae. | ||
| But I would never think, oh, that was like a little two-year-old. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like this little two-year-old who was walking funny and dancing when music was coming on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pooping her pants. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, oh, and then life just sort of like puts you through the wringer and does this good and that bad and this better and that worse. | ||
| And then boom, here you are in 2020. And it made me think of the whole path of human beings rather than just the static thing that you see in front of you right now. | ||
| That's like enlightenment. | ||
| That's a form of enlightenment. | ||
| You're an evolved human to think that about people. | ||
| Well, it's not. | ||
| It's just seeing it in real time. | ||
| Like watching my kids grow up and watching them become these little intelligent things that I can have conversations with. | ||
| Little personalities forming. | ||
| When you have a little person and all of a sudden that person's a big person sitting across you and you're having a conversation with them, it's very surreal. | ||
| Just having full-on conversations with this person that didn't even exist. | ||
| Yeah, that you saw grow and get bigger. | ||
| How has the quarantine changed or evolved your relationship with them? | ||
| Has it brought up any new experiences? | ||
| With my family and I think with all my friends, it's made everybody a little more appreciative. | ||
| Made everybody appreciative of each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Made everybody realize, like, hey, this really can happen, okay? | ||
| Now that we know that, everything really can shut down. | ||
| We've kind of all known this before. | ||
| It's sort of like what we were talking about earlier. | ||
| Like, we have this ability to block out all the stuff we're doing that doesn't affect us right now. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| Something like this quarantine, something like this pandemic makes you realize, like, holy shit. | ||
| We're vulnerable. | ||
| We're really vulnerable. | ||
| And this is what's important. | ||
| What's important is staying alive. | ||
| And we were all on momentum. | ||
| We were all on momentum, just running around. | ||
| And not even considering where we're getting stuff. | ||
| You know what a Buffalo Drive is? | ||
| Migrating them? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's called a buffalo jump, actually. | ||
| Native Americans used to chase these buffalo off the side of a cliff. | ||
| And so the buffalo would be running, and the ones in the front would go, oh, fuck, there's a cliff. | ||
| And they go to turn around, and there's a thousand buffalo behind you running full clip. | ||
| You're going over the edge. | ||
| So they would all go over the edge. | ||
| And then the Native Americans would come around the front. | ||
| And pick up the buffalo and take them. | ||
| Well, that's what we're like. | ||
| We're like, we're on this crazy momentum. | ||
| We're just getting up and just working all day and doing this and all this momentum and you're fucking upset and your blood pressure's up. | ||
| And then, boom! | ||
| Something like this happens. | ||
| And yeah, it's terrible. | ||
| Yeah, I wouldn't wish it on anybody. | ||
| But there's an opportunity in this moment To reset your perspective. | ||
| And slow the fuck down. | ||
| Get off the hamster wheel. | ||
| Get off the hamster wheel and go, why am I living like this? | ||
| And what am I doing to contribute how I'm living? | ||
| How are my behaviors, choices, and decisions contributing to the life that I have? | ||
| And I think, I don't know about you, but for me, I've been really asking myself, is the life I'm living the one that I want to live? | ||
| And how can I improve it? | ||
| Is the travel thing the thing that bugs you the most? | ||
| Yeah, it's so exhausting. | ||
| And it's exhausting on a cellular level. | ||
| And it's stressful. | ||
| It ages you. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| It really does beat you up when you fly every week. | ||
| It beats you up when you fly every week. | ||
| And also, I'm a big energy person. | ||
| And I like to conserve my energy. | ||
| And I don't like to give energy to people who are emotional vampires. | ||
| And I'm very specific about where I put it. | ||
| But traveling doesn't give a fuck about that. | ||
| It'll pull from that energy source as much as it wants to. | ||
| Like you, I love comedy and I love to perform and give my all on stage. | ||
| If I'm tired from a flight, sometimes those shows are great. | ||
| I don't know if you've had those ones where you haven't slept at all and you go on stage and you're just like, fuck it. | ||
| But for the most part, I like to be rested. | ||
| Yeah, you want to be rested. | ||
| You want to be where your brain's firing. | ||
| Yeah, where you're not even thinking, when you're in that sweet zone. | ||
| It's almost like a natural reaction to the moment. | ||
| Isn't it weird how dumb you can get sometimes? | ||
| Me, personally? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, me. | |
| Everybody. | ||
| All of us. | ||
| We all have to admit that there's a range that we operate in. | ||
| We're on fire. | ||
| Brains firing. | ||
| Everything makes sense. | ||
| Everything's going good. | ||
| You have a great conversation. | ||
| You understand what people are saying. | ||
| You're stimulated. | ||
| And where's my keys? | ||
| Who am I? What was that guy's name we were saying? | ||
| What the fuck did I just say? | ||
| How do words work? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sometimes my brain is like... | ||
| And sometimes it's like... | ||
| Sometimes it's like a race car. | ||
| And sometimes it's like a car with some shitty spark plugs that can barely make it out of the driveway. | ||
| Have you found aspects of your life that contribute to you feeling like you're... | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| What do you attribute it to? | ||
| Exhaustion's a big one. | ||
| Exhaustion is a big one. | ||
| I was doing podcasts earlier in the day, but I would do them straight from working out. | ||
| It's just too hard. | ||
| Especially running hills. | ||
| Yeah, you're out there with Marshall! | ||
| Yeah, or yoga. | ||
| Yoga can kick your ass too before a podcast. | ||
| I had to give myself an extra hour after the class before I tried to do a podcast. | ||
| What's your routine after you work out hard? | ||
| Like what do you do right after you work out? | ||
| I always replenish. | ||
| With food? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eat some food. | ||
| Your body wants some protein. | ||
| If you're eating carbs, your body wants some glucose. | ||
| And your body definitely wants some electrolytes. | ||
| I always take electrolytes. | ||
| Are you a person who naps? | ||
| No. | ||
| I can't imagine you napping. | ||
| It's like a napping bear. | ||
| I don't have that kind of time. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| I just sleep at night. | ||
| I sleep good. | ||
| I'm a solid seven, eight hours sleeper every night. | ||
| I don't need a nap. | ||
| What's the first thing you do in the morning? | ||
| Do you have like a regular morning routine? | ||
| Are you the FBI? Yeah, I've got people recording this. | ||
| I'm just making sure we can find out where you are. | ||
| I usually do some kind of workout. | ||
| Either I'll do something with the dog, we'll do the hills, or I'll work out here, kick the bag, that kind of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or I'll lift weights. | ||
| Depending on what day it is, I just decide, like, today I'm going to do this, tomorrow. | ||
| I just have a series of workouts, too, that I've been doing forever that I can sort of plug in. | ||
| I have a whiteboard. | ||
| I write shit down on the whiteboard. | ||
| And you've been consistent through quarantine as well? | ||
| You've been taking it easy on exercising? | ||
| You've been doing that every day? | ||
| No, I've been ramping it up because I don't want to be edgy. | ||
| I want to be relaxed. | ||
| And you also don't want to be like the people from WALL-E. What? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Fat people. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| People just get lazy. | ||
| Everything's done for them. | ||
| There's no excuses. | ||
| If you're home all day, there's no excuse to go to the gym for one hour. | ||
| And by the way, you don't even need a gym. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| You need like a kettlebell. | ||
| You don't even need that. | ||
| You can do bodyweight shit. | ||
| There's a shit ton of things you could burn yourself out on just with bodyweights. | ||
| Especially if you have a chin-up bar. | ||
| Bodyweights and a chin-up bar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have one of those. | |
| Dude. | ||
| I can do four. | ||
| But do you have the one that go... | ||
| Can you really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's very good. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yes, it's very good. | ||
| I feel good. | ||
| I thought it was terrible. | ||
| I thought you were going to be like, you fucking weak bitch. | ||
| No, that's very good. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Why is it when people put words in your mouth, it's always shit you would never say? | ||
| You say bitch a lot, but not in like a derogatory... | ||
| But it's a friendly bitch. | ||
| I say bitch too. | ||
| Is it the kind that hang over the door, or is it the one that's screwed into the... | ||
| It's screwed into the wall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, good. | |
| Is that good? | ||
| Yes, better. | ||
| The ones that hang over the door freak me out. | ||
| Yeah, well, I've seen videos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because there's plenty of videos. | |
| And the bitches who don't, look, we have to, like, before you decide you're an Instagram fitness instructor, let's read the instructions of how to put those bands in your door. | ||
| Because there's so many people out there that are putting them on the door and slapping themselves in the back. | ||
| I'm noticing a lot of, not all, not all you ladies, not all, but a lot of these ladies that have fitness accounts also have, like, an OnlyFans account. | ||
| Oh yeah, they're showing titties and clitty cats. | ||
| They're showing clitty cats. | ||
| They're getting paid. | ||
| They're showing the whole basket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're showing the bunghole. | |
| They're showing the whole thing. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| In today's economic climate, it might be right behind them. | ||
| I'll dress my butthole up for you. | ||
| Will you paint it out like a clown? | ||
| I'll bedazzle it. | ||
| You know what I'll do? | ||
| I'll get a really good artist to paint my butthole like a famous person and then you have to guess who it is. | ||
| Oh, that's a good idea. | ||
| Have you seen that one lady, we've talked about it before on the podcast, that makes that visual art with painting, paints eyeballs and shit on people's faces? | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| That one in particular, yeah, but there's a lot of girls now that do body paint stuff and do... | ||
| A bunch of crazy stuff, probably 3D stuff, yeah. | ||
| Is that what you're looking at, Jamie? | ||
| People are getting really artistic with face and body paint. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Weird stuff. | ||
| So yeah, you could do that to your butthole, though. | ||
| Yeah, I think I might... | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| I might do that. | ||
| I did make a butthole candle that smells like my butthole. | ||
| I bet you didn't. | ||
| I did. | ||
| How much you wanna bet? | ||
| I bet you're wrong. | ||
| How much you wanna bet? | ||
| I bet you're wrong. | ||
| I bet it doesn't smell like your butthole. | ||
| Well, we can't. | ||
| How would we even cash in on that? | ||
| We'd have to do a sniff test. | ||
| I'll blindfold myself so I can't see anything. | ||
| Just back it up. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| We need to do a companion episode to that. | ||
| I'll blindfold myself, put my hands behind my back. | ||
| I can't move. | ||
| And then you just back it up there and I'll take a sniff. | ||
| What do you think it smells like? | ||
| Like an asshole. | ||
| You're wrong. | ||
| What do you think it smells like? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're wrong. | |
| A meadow? | ||
| What is it, like an elk basin? | ||
| It smells like a field. | ||
| It's a wallow. | ||
| It smells like vanilla and leather. | ||
| Aged leather. | ||
| What's her name? | ||
| Gwyneth Paltrow's candle? | ||
| Smells like her vagina? | ||
| I was like, everybody knows what vaginas smell like. | ||
| We need a butthole candle. | ||
| Did you come up with this idea after her? | ||
| This is like some next level shit? | ||
| I came up with that idea after I got really stoned. | ||
| Really, really stoned. | ||
| And I was like, here's Gwyneth Paltrow. | ||
| Pussy candle. | ||
| What other body parts could I... Feet. | ||
| Oof. | ||
| You have all creeps. | ||
| You have the creepiest guys at your show just looking at you, staring at your feet. | ||
| There's a lot of foot fucks out there. | ||
| I'm on Wikifedia somehow. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I'm stating all my alkalades. | ||
| Wikifedia? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's another area of a woman's life you have to be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| If there's even a toe in a fucking photo, some dude comes out from the earth, like some little slithering worm, and he's like, I see a toe! | ||
| That's why Andy Letterman is so funny. | ||
| All of her pictures, she has her feet in them, and they're all pixelated. | ||
| Yeah, now she can have an OnlyFans account where that bitch can retire. | ||
| If you're a woman in this climate and you don't have anything to do, retire on your butthole. | ||
| Retire on your feet. | ||
| There's a whole world for it. | ||
| It depends on how much money they're giving you every month, but you don't need a lot of people to sustain you. | ||
| No, and it's much smarter for a smaller price to attract a certain number of people. | ||
| Do you think the legitimate fitness girls get mad at the naked fitness girls? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| A lot of hating, right? | ||
| Well, there's always people worried about it diluting their own industry. | ||
| These motherfuckers. | ||
| They define the industry. | ||
| They also define the standards because if there's going to be a high standard, there has to be a low standard. | ||
| Don't you think? | ||
| With every industry? | ||
| It's almost like natural selection. | ||
| It becomes a different thing, right? | ||
| Because, for one, the fitness thing, for sure, it's inspiring girls to want to look like her and do this and 10 lunges and this and that and that. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| But also a bunch of guys who want to fuck her. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| But when you dip into the world of here's my naked pictures for X amount a month, then you're in a different realm. | ||
| Because then the other girls that are just like the fitness girls who are just, they're really expressly trying to motivate women to get fit and they're showing all these exercises and every day they're doing crunches and telling you to push it and keep going and don't quit. | ||
| One time I thought about quitting, but I didn't. | ||
| Here I am. | ||
| But also, here's my pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think it seems like a full package. | |
| Are they mutually exclusive? | ||
| Oh gosh. | ||
| Can you have a girl who's like a really motivating fitness girl who's got like the abs and like the midriff showing and wearing the yoga pants and looking like a badass? | ||
| I think you can have it, but you have to be honest about it. | ||
| And see her pussy. | ||
| She's got to be honest about it. | ||
| She's got to be like, hey, I'm here for Pilates and pussy. | ||
| Here's the thing that drives me nuts. | ||
| Those girls acting like they aren't also pussy girls. | ||
| You're also a pussy girl. | ||
| What does that mean, a pussy girl? | ||
| You know what it means. | ||
| Jamie knows what it means. | ||
| He's Googling it. | ||
| He's out there. | ||
| He knows the girls. | ||
| But... | ||
| That's the difference in girls. | ||
| A girl shows her pussy is a pussy girl. | ||
| There's enough space for everybody. | ||
| There should be, but a lot of bitches are hating. | ||
| Well, hating bitches should focus their hate into something that can benefit them. | ||
| Cindy's over here just working on her lunges and trying to put together a good program for you, and Debbie's showing her whole asshole for five dollars. | ||
| Look, my ball would be much more expensive. | ||
| And Cindy's so fucking mad at Debbie, that whore! | ||
| She's ruining my squat business! | ||
| With her butthole. | ||
| One butthole took my whole business down. | ||
| Cindy's all about those squats. | ||
| But there's enough people for both areas, don't you think? | ||
| No. | ||
| You don't? | ||
| There's a standoff, a Mexican standoff in the streets like a goddamn western movie with Clint Eastwood. | ||
| They should have to actually do a physical test. | ||
| They should have to squat each other out. | ||
| Whoever dies first is done. | ||
| Well, it's weird because they're in a new category. | ||
| Ho? | ||
| No. | ||
| I can say that. | ||
| They've been around forever. | ||
| Ho's been around forever. | ||
| Yeah, it's the oldest job. | ||
| But they're in a new category, like the female fitness influencer. | ||
| That didn't exist. | ||
| It never existed. | ||
| I just googled OnlyFans, and there's actually a story that's on this topic that's not fitness. | ||
| Oh, I heard about this. | ||
| This lady is a mechanic, and apparently a very talented mechanic. | ||
| And the boys at work found out she also has an OnlyFans account where she shows LeCouter, and they fired her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hypocrites! | |
| So the guys were harassing her at work and talking about it because she had created all this problem. | ||
| Oh, fuck them! | ||
| By having this... | ||
| It might encourage her co-workers to approach you with an unwanted sexual conduct or comments. | ||
| So that's why they fired her. | ||
| Please, give me a break. | ||
| You know the wives called. | ||
| First of all, let's cut the shit. | ||
| She should be happy. | ||
| This is going to make her way famous. | ||
| Way more people are paying attention to her OnlyFans account than ever would have ever before. | ||
| Congratulations, you hit the lottery. | ||
| You worked with creeps, and you played it well, and you got paid. | ||
| And they did you a favor by firing you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did you a favor. | |
| Also, my car's making a weird squeaky noise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Seriously, hit me up, girl. | ||
| I could use a little work under the hood if you know what I'm saying. | ||
| What were we just saying when we were talking about OnlyFans accounts just before that? | ||
| Buttholes? | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| We passed that. | ||
| Fitness accounts? | ||
| You were talking about fitness models? | ||
| The fitness influencers. | ||
| Like, before, like, who was the first one? | ||
| Dude, it might have been fucking Jane Fonda. | ||
| Oh, she's the OG. Or Olivia Newton-John. | ||
| No, Jane Fonda was way before Olivia Newton-John. | ||
| Jane Fonda, didn't she do, after movies, she was doing videos. | ||
| She got into fitness. | ||
| Why do you think she looks that good? | ||
| She's like 172. She's not that old. | ||
| No, she's like 82. I think you're exaggerating. | ||
| I am exaggerating. | ||
| But you're right. | ||
| She was like the first fitness influencer. | ||
| Yes, she was. | ||
| That's a female. | ||
| She was making videos back in the 70s and 80s. | ||
| But can you name one other one from that era? | ||
| Susan Summers. | ||
| Well, she's the fat one, though. | ||
| She just wanted to lose fat. | ||
| But that's her thing. | ||
| It was about losing fat. | ||
| I meant the losing fat one. | ||
| That was her thing. | ||
| Stop the insanity. | ||
| Just eat a potato, right? | ||
| That's not Suzanne Somers. | ||
| Stop the insanity is Susan Powder. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Suzanne Somers is Thighmaster. | ||
| Thighmaster. | ||
| She's Three's Company. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Susan Powder was the fat lady. | ||
| I'm sorry, Suzanne Somers. | ||
| Yeah, get your shit right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I meant the other one. | |
| The other one. | ||
| Suzanne Powder was the one with the shaved head, told you to eat a potato every day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop the insanity! | |
| Put the fucking cake down! | ||
| Just eat potatoes, right? | ||
| Wasn't that her thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eat potatoes! | |
| Don't be fat practice! | ||
| If you just eat potatoes, you will lose weight. | ||
| It does work, because you're so bored. | ||
| You don't eat that much, and so your body just naturally starts eating itself, and you get thinner and weaker. | ||
| That's fucking terrible. | ||
| Congratulations, you tried to survive on potatoes. | ||
| Yeah, Suzanne Somers is another one, right? | ||
| And she did those videos. | ||
| She did the Thighmaster videos. | ||
| That thing of squeezing your pussy together, is that the most sexually suggestive of all athletic devices? | ||
| How many people are really concentrating on firming up the center of their thigh? | ||
| A lot of bitches. | ||
| That was also the first OnlyFans account. | ||
| She's out there just doing Kegels. | ||
| Yeah, that's a Kegel. | ||
| I mean, it's like an outside Kegel. | ||
| Yeah, you're tightening up all the muscles. | ||
| It's like, are you working with your neck muscles? | ||
| No, I'm just doing traps. | ||
| You've got to do your Kegels. | ||
| Especially in quarantine. | ||
| There's plenty of time to be doing it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Squeeze that pussy. | |
| You've got to squeeze that pussy. | ||
| There she is. | ||
| Make it tight. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| Make it tight. | ||
| Make it right. | ||
| She has a phenomenal body. | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| Who was your lady of your youth that you liked? | ||
| Everyone liked Farrah Fawcett. | ||
| Everybody liked her. | ||
| Suzanne Somers was hot. | ||
| She was the rare combination of hot and funny. | ||
| When she was on Three's Company. | ||
| Oh yeah, she was. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| She was talented. | ||
| Do you ever watch the whole story of that? | ||
| It's like one of those behind the scenes stories. | ||
| There's a contract dispute between Suzanne Somers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Were they all bony? | |
| John Ritter? | ||
| No, I think she wanted more money. | ||
| Yes, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, John Ritter was making the lion's share of the loop. | ||
| And she was like, yo, what the fuck? | ||
| We need to have favored nations here. | ||
| There was one season where she was on vacation and she would call into the show. | ||
| No, I'm not kidding. | ||
| She was on the phone talking to them. | ||
| That was all she was in. | ||
| Because the contract was in negotiation? | ||
| It was... | ||
| Well, I think either they were punishing her or because of the contract negotiations, they didn't want her to be a major part of the show where she could hold the show up. | ||
| So they said, look, you got to have one scene and we could delete it if we wanted to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's like, fuck you. | |
| Do you know how strong my pussy is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I will break you. | |
| I think she developed her strong pussy as a response to this. | ||
| She probably did. | ||
| This tyranny on set. | ||
| I'm going to fucking snap it off. | ||
| Guys can do kegels too. | ||
| You mean your asshole? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what you're saying? | |
| No, it's a pelvic floor exercise. | ||
| Dudes can do it too. | ||
| It's a good dude exercise. | ||
| I don't know if you guys have a pant pissing issue like women do when they get a little older. | ||
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Women with kids, they laugh too hard. | ||
| They piss themselves. | ||
| Which is what I'm going for at my show because I want bitches to piss their pants. | ||
| I bet you've done it already. | ||
| You don't even know. | ||
| It should be an app where every time you piss yourself at a comedy show, you can click it and you'd like to see which person makes women piss themselves the most. | ||
| It's no longer laughter. | ||
| It's all about the piss factor. | ||
| I made bitches piss. | ||
| It's not like an indicator for everybody. | ||
| But for some people, it's an undeniable indicator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like if someone in the middle... | ||
| You say you didn't laugh at the show. | ||
| That's interesting, Tammy. | ||
| Because it shows here, when Jessie Mae hit that punchline, you pissed your pants. | ||
| It says it right here. | ||
| We read the thong factor here. | ||
| Stop being a fucking hater. | ||
| There's some saturation in that little slice of cotton. | ||
| Yeah, you're all red. | ||
| As soon as the punchline hits, that's piss. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| That's obviously piss. | ||
| Dirty. | ||
| Moist underwear lady. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen all this? | ||
| Are we going to be back on the road? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Not for a while. | ||
| Yeah, I think people are going to be weirded out. | ||
| Despite all these studies that have come out, and people keep sending me more and more articles that are being written saying that this is not as dangerous as the flu. | ||
| But that's not really true. | ||
| Because they're basing it on how many people die from the flu every year when we don't quarantine. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So this is quarantining and the amount of people is equal to or greater than most seasonal flus. | ||
| And it's faster. | ||
| It's a little more aggressive. | ||
| Yeah, it's very aggressive. | ||
| But it's also weird because some people get it in nothing. | ||
| So it's confusing because it's a new thing. | ||
| It is very confusing. | ||
| Because it's a new disease. | ||
| Look, we're very lucky it's not targeting babies and children. | ||
| We're very, very lucky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, we're very lucky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it sucks that it's targeting old people, and it sucks that it's targeting obesity seems to be the number one thing they said in New York City. | ||
| There was a number one thing that the patients that had the roughest times with it had in common. | ||
| I mean, obesity, that's like number two killer. | ||
| It's way up there. | ||
| I mean, diabetes, it's such a... | ||
| If you're obese, you're susceptible to most of the diseases and issues that arise with people. | ||
| I think that's also what scares people about opioids, as opposed to cigarettes. | ||
| Cigarettes kill you, but they kill you slow. | ||
| Yeah, it is a slow burn, no pun intended. | ||
| They play it nice. | ||
| So is obesity. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Obesity is slow. | ||
| That's slow. | ||
| And painful. | ||
| Yeah, it's a rough one. | ||
| And expensive. | ||
| And then your joints go, ugh. | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| I mean, it looks painful for people. | ||
| Remember the Maury Povich show where they would have to- How about Ralphie? | ||
| When Ralphie was alive, it was rough. | ||
| And was he... | ||
| I'm not trying to be disrespectful to him at all, but at his point of passing, was he at his heaviest? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I wonder if he had fluctuated throughout... | ||
| He fluctuated. | ||
| He even had some operations. | ||
| But talk about somebody who obviously experienced a lot of, you know... | ||
| A lot of pain. | ||
| A lot of pain. | ||
| But the nicest guy. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| Just a ball of joy. | ||
| Ball's probably a bad term. | ||
| Ah, too late. | ||
| He would have laughed. | ||
| He would have laughed for sure. | ||
| He would have laughed for sure. | ||
| It's like, you know, it's not anyone's hope that your baby boy grows up to be morbidly obese. | ||
| It's not anybody's hope. | ||
| No. | ||
| And this is the difference between the way I look at people now as opposed to 20 years ago. | ||
| Pre-K? Pre-kids? | ||
| BK before children, before kids? | ||
| The whole thing seems like a different enterprise to me. | ||
| The whole thing in terms of who you are and what is life. | ||
| And so much of it is based on, like, if you wanted to look at it like this big old problem. | ||
| Like, what's causing the majority of the issues in this big problem, this complex thing that you're trying to solve? | ||
| Well, the biggest issue seems to be the childhood thing. | ||
| The biggest issue seems to be the love that you experience in the house. | ||
| The lack thereof. | ||
| The lack thereof. | ||
| Those are the motivating factors. | ||
| Positive and negative. | ||
| Like, it's not a simple equation. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Because, like, we were just talking about Joey. | ||
| Everyone loves Joey. | ||
| We love Joey. | ||
| But you don't make a Joey if everything's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| If you are there for your kid and the kid never does drugs, never holds someone hostage with a machine gun and a Coke deal gone bad, of all those things that Joey's done... | ||
| If everything goes great, your kid never does those things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You're not breastfeeding on time all the time with that kid. | ||
| No! | ||
| But as Joey got through that, he became this rare thing that everybody loves, and it's precisely because of all that struggle. | ||
| So it's a real conundrum. | ||
| It is a conundrum because struggle can either define you in a beneficial way or it defines everything that's bad about you. | ||
| And all the negativity is just reinforced because you're still connected to that pain and trauma. | ||
| You're behaving ways to go back, revert back to that time in your life where you were experiencing pain because it's a connection. | ||
| It's a connection. | ||
| That was the only love that you had. | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| And everybody has things in their life they have to process. | ||
| Things that have been done to them, things that they do. | ||
| And you need some sort of a purging of your past to accept who you are as a person. | ||
| And that is one of the reasons why I like jiu-jitsu. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why I like anything that's really hard to do. | ||
| What do you think... | ||
| What in your life has been the thing that you've associated the most pain with? | ||
| Like what is something that you experience that has caused you the most pain or maybe, you know, trauma or something that you experienced? | ||
| Bombing at the store! | ||
| That is painful to your core. | ||
| I'm still hurting from going on after Martin Lawrence in the 90s. | ||
| Was he so funny? | ||
| And I'm not kidding. | ||
| Was he so funny? | ||
| Oh, dude, when I first came to the comic store, by the way, I sucked, okay? | ||
| I was like 26 or 27. And Martin Lawrence was on top of the world. | ||
| He was wearing leather jumpsuits on stage and murdering. | ||
| He was so funny. | ||
| The place would be packed with people to see Martin Lawrence, and he would destroy in the main room. | ||
| Would it feel like a rock show? | ||
| Would it have that energy, like eclectic energy? | ||
| It was nerve-wracking. | ||
| First of all, because I had been a Martin Lawrence fan when I was an open-miker. | ||
| So I had been a fan from early on when I had first seen him on television. | ||
| And then he's doing movies. | ||
| Then I've seen his television specials, and then I'm at the store. | ||
| And here I'm going on right after Martin Lawrence. | ||
| And not just once. | ||
| Like Mitzi put me on after Martin Lawrence like fucking every time I had a spot. | ||
| That's boot camp. | ||
| Right after Martin. | ||
| No! | ||
| That is boot camp. | ||
| First of all, most of the audience would just get up and leave. | ||
| Like when Martin Lawrence is done, the fucking show's over. | ||
| They want to follow it. | ||
| They want to go after the rock star. | ||
| You produce all that electric energy in the room and then they want to go after that. | ||
| It happens when you're on stage. | ||
| They want to go home. | ||
| That's what they want. | ||
| The show's over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they're exhausted. | |
| They've exhausted their laughter. | ||
| They've seen Martin Lawrence. | ||
| That's what they came to see. | ||
| But I've seen people do that to you at the store where you get off and they're like, we've got to go talk to Joe. | ||
| We've got to get some of that. | ||
| They want to get some of that energy from you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Balls. | |
| Don't do that. | ||
| I'm just feeling like this because I have two hands. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If I have three hands... | |
| Mine are not quite that big. | ||
| You have chimpanzee balls. | ||
| I have normal sized balls. | ||
| Joey's got something preposterous. | ||
| No, Joey's are like gorillas. | ||
| You're probably... | ||
| No, gorillas have little jicks and little balls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Actually, they have little ones. | |
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah, because they take care of the harem. | ||
| They don't have a competition. | ||
| Yeah, there's no competition. | ||
| So what's Joey's deal? | ||
| Does he have competition in the house? | ||
| They also don't eat meat. | ||
| Just growing up, I'm sure he had a lot of competition. | ||
| That's how it developed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His nuts are traumatized from his childhood. | |
| That's my friend Dr. Chris Ryan. | ||
| He talks about that all the time. | ||
| That competitive... | ||
| If you look at the size of the testicles of chimpanzees, there's a direct correlation between the size of their nuts and then how promiscuous the females are. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Because if the females are hoes, their balls just keep getting bigger and bigger. | ||
| These dirty bitches are out there fucking everybody and I'm going to fuck them better and they're just building up bigger and bigger loads. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Just that whole process, the load that a guy releases and all of those sperm are competing, every single one. | ||
| It's a whole army and they're all competing to get to the fucking egg. | ||
| Do you remember when the orcs attacked the elves in Game of Thrones? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| When they came... | ||
| That's sperm! | ||
| That's the loads. | ||
| Do you think they're screaming? | ||
| Do you think they're screaming in there? | ||
| Yeah, mine are, for sure. | ||
| Mine are screaming. | ||
| Mine are screaming. | ||
| Do you think there's like the Chariots of Fires playing as well? | ||
| It's like an unintelligent noise that you would expect like a demon to be screaming if it was coming over a hill chasing you like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it is demonic. | |
| That's all cum. | ||
| All cum screams. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Cum screams. | ||
| Hello, special title. | ||
| The speed that it's projecting. | ||
| It's coming flying out of you. | ||
| It's screaming. | ||
| And so much. | ||
| What else comes shooting out of you like that? | ||
| It literally shoots out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tears? | |
| Not like that. | ||
| If your tears shoot out like that... | ||
| You haven't met my sisters. | ||
| I mean, it's literally like it's trying to get up in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's like, boom! | ||
| Of course they're screaming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wouldn't it be cool if you could hear them? | ||
| I wonder if it would change how often people fuck or the way guys shoot. | ||
| Like, if you could hear the sperm screaming, I wonder if they'd be that as many, like, money shots. | ||
| I wonder if your plants do better if they hear you fuck. | ||
| Your plants? | ||
| Yeah, if you have your plants around you and you're fucking. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because if you think with music, music helps. | ||
| What if we could find out that if you fuck while you listen to The Prince, you get 75% more biomass. | ||
| 75% less? | ||
| He was so little. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But the music is so big. | ||
| It was so big. | ||
| If you're listening to Purple Rain while you're fucking, and the trunks just keep getting thicker on all your plans. | ||
| That's interesting, though. | ||
| I wonder if music does persuade the successfulness of the pregnancy and someone getting pregnant. | ||
| That's a good question, right? | ||
| Because if having Mozart play for your growing baby makes them a little bit more able to be intelligent and make smarter choices, maybe it can sort of help people just get pregnant quicker. | ||
| When I was a kid, I was one of the first generations of people that had a Walkman, okay? | ||
| So when I was working out, I was going to the gym. | ||
| Back in, like, the fuckin' 80s, alright, when I was in high school and I was wrestling, I would have a cassette player. | ||
| I was a zygote. | ||
| That would, like, sit on my hip. | ||
| I had, like, this fuckin' neoprene belt or some shit. | ||
| I forget how it strapped in. | ||
| But this cassette player and headphones. | ||
| And I would go to the gym and you could listen to your own music at the gym. | ||
| This shit was unheard of. | ||
| Do you understand this? | ||
| Unheard of. | ||
| And I remember doing leg presses to Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses. | ||
| And I remember thinking how strong I felt because of this music. | ||
| Oh, your daughters are going to be fine. | ||
| And so I got off the leg press and I was like, that's crazy because I literally felt like I had more energy. | ||
| Like something happened. | ||
| I wanted to fucking go harder because of the music. | ||
| And I was like, okay, that is like, it's doing something. | ||
| I know it's exciting me and that's making, but what else is going on? | ||
| Music's the only thing that stimulates all areas of your brain simultaneously. | ||
| It's one of the only things. | ||
| Have you done studies on this? | ||
| That's what I've read off of your Twitter feed. | ||
| Music stimulates everything, including nail growth. | ||
| Including your sperm success. | ||
| All of it. | ||
| It's kind of true. | ||
| Thank you, Jamie. | ||
| There's a book on Audible, so I listened to this book. | ||
| You read it. | ||
| You're a doctor. | ||
| Called Music on the Brain. | ||
| I honestly even think the person who is doing most of the talking is someone that's been on the podcast. | ||
| I can't remember off the top of my head who it was. | ||
| But they were talking about when you're running. | ||
| So if you're listening to music at a loud volume, That takes an amount of brain power just to be processing that. | ||
| Add that on top of the physical activity you're doing, that takes brain power to do, plus the endorphins, plus all the chemical processes. | ||
| There is something that happens there. | ||
| It has been studied. | ||
| I cannot regurgitate it, obviously, but... | ||
| I only know it because of... | ||
| But that would imply that it's actually... | ||
| It hinders performance because it requires resources. | ||
| Resources to listen to music and then resources to run. | ||
| But not necessarily if it's engaging. | ||
| If the entire brain is being engaged, I would think it would enhance the ability for you to exercise and maybe some of the... | ||
| Maybe get out of your own way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The only reason I know about it is because with research with Alzheimer's, they say when the Alzheimer's patients reach a certain level or even just early on in their diagnosis, that music can help alleviate some of the stresses and anxieties that are associated with the disease. | ||
| And because it activates the parts of the brain, most of the parts of the brain, that it is thought to be a therapy for people who have Alzheimer's. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it's doing something to juice up your brain. | ||
| Wouldn't that be almost like a sauna for your brain? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| During the last two weeks of my dad's life, he could not communicate, couldn't eat, his motor functions and everything had just stopped. | ||
| We played Sinatra. | ||
| That motherfucker didn't talk for two weeks. | ||
| We played Sinatra, he started to sing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Which song? | ||
| Fly Me to the Moon, ironically. | ||
| Oh, that's a good one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He started to sing, and he also, the last thing he laughed at was a fart, so... | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Speaking of fart, let's fire up the black ash. | |
| Is that what it's called? | ||
| This is Donnell's own personal... | ||
| My man sells candles. | ||
| I love Donnell so much. | ||
| What are you saying, Jamie? | ||
| I mixed up two things. | ||
| I listened to them at the same time, though. | ||
| So there's a book called Music in Your Brain, which is by... | ||
| I believe his name is... | ||
| Sorry, I just had it. | ||
| Sleviton was his last name. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Sleviton. | ||
| Stephen Levin. | ||
| I think I have that book. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then I also listened to a separate thing, which is by someone who has been here, Stephen Novella, Your Deceptive Mind. | ||
| He hasn't been here. | ||
| Which is a scientific... | ||
| He hasn't? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, I thought he has. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Deceptive Minds. | ||
| There's so many guests, it's hard. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| I mean, we're at like 1,500 guests. | ||
| So Sean Carroll interviewed someone that did a podcast on the Music and the Brain. | ||
| I think that's where I was confusing. | ||
| Ah, okay. | ||
| I mean, isn't that interesting, though? | ||
| I listen to a lot of stuff about it. | ||
| Donnell's Candle does not want to stay lit. | ||
| Well, the key to candles is you have to burn them until... | ||
| You have to cut them. | ||
| First of all, you need to cut the wick. | ||
| And then you have to let them burn until the whole area is melted so that it burns equally all the way down. | ||
| That looks like a disaster. | ||
| This is a mess. | ||
| Yeah, it's a mess. | ||
| It's no surprise. | ||
| Somebody sent me one. | ||
| It's like Bernie Sanders as Jesus. | ||
| I'm like, who's mass marketing those? | ||
| Did that come from Vermont? | ||
| It will be authentic. | ||
| This is not going to stay lit. | ||
| I'm going to have to do surgery on this candle thing. | ||
| Yeah, you got to cut out some of that goo. | ||
| See, this is a guy that's industrial. | ||
| He's figuring out what to do. | ||
| Industrious. | ||
| Figuring out what to do. | ||
| Like, I know what I'll do. | ||
| I'll sell some fucking candles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's, you know, fucking why not smell? | ||
| Oh shit, it seems to be working. | ||
| That's why I made a butthole candle. | ||
| Congratulations on that. | ||
| So are you openly admitting that you were inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hell yeah. | |
| I was like, where's the butthole candle, girl? | ||
| How many of these butthole candles have you sold? | ||
| We haven't even opened yet. | ||
| I don't even think the shop's going to be open soon. | ||
| Website. | ||
| What does it really smell like? | ||
| How do you create a butthole smell? | ||
| It's sweet with a little bit of weather. | ||
| Like swamp fog? | ||
| Well, yeah, thank you. | ||
| Swamp fog, which they won't be at Coachella this year because it's canceled. | ||
| They were opening for Jared Leto's band. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Coming to the stage, swamp fog! | |
| The girls just queef out a cloud. | ||
| Yeah, I did get inspired by Gwyneth, whatever her fucking name is. | ||
| Just call her Goop. | ||
| Yeah, Goops. | ||
| Candle. | ||
| Goops, whole setup. | ||
| Did you try one of them jade eggs in your twat? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who? | |
| That was one of her things. | ||
| She wanted people to put jade eggs inside your vajayjay? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| You know what? | ||
| Yes, they did. | ||
| I've been putting bleach tampons up there for too long. | ||
| We've got to go easy on the cooch. | ||
| We have to go gentle. | ||
| Here's the thing that men are never fucking aware of. | ||
| Toxic shock syndrome killed a lot of women from fucking tampons. | ||
| Imagine, you lose limbs, too. | ||
| If you're lucky... | ||
| You catch it early enough, you lose a limb. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| It's so... | ||
| Because think about it. | ||
| It's this little piece of cotton. | ||
| I mean, it's happened to me a couple times where you're like, I think there might be a stowaway up there. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| There might be somebody hopping the train. | ||
| I need to check and see if there's any passengers in the caboose. | ||
| I had a bit about tampons that I'm just remembering. | ||
| That a tampon was actually invented by men. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it seems like a male invention. | ||
| A male invention to a female problem. | ||
| Let's plug it. | ||
| That we don't have. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| Stuff something up there. | ||
| It's like, hit it. | ||
| Like, you guys, to fix things, you smack them around. | ||
| Why are you still stuffing things up there? | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I mean, that is a temple. | ||
| You need to be gentle with your coochie. | ||
| And we're just jamming it. | ||
| I know girls who will throw up a leg on the bathtub, on the wall of the bathtub, and just jam it up there with one finger just recklessly. | ||
| You've got to go easy. | ||
| It seems like also it can't be good for it. | ||
| Like, that blood's supposed to come out. | ||
| It's not supposed to get stuck up there. | ||
| No, I definitely take it easy with the clitty cat down there. | ||
| I go gentle with it, but... | ||
| Do you think that's nature's way, like before tampons were invented, trying to gross out the male monkeys? | ||
| Like, oh, when we flush it out, just have it all come out. | ||
| I think there's probably something to at least keeping... | ||
| Discouraging. | ||
| Discouraging people to stay away from the girl so she can recover and recuperate some of those nutrients lost in that blood. | ||
| I'm sure there's something to that. | ||
| There's something with gypsies where when women bleed, I think it's called gaja or something like that, where when they bleed, traditionally people leave them alone and they stay in their cabin or wherever they're living and everyone just leaves them alone during that week. | ||
| If someone brings up gypsies, I think of two things. | ||
| Tyson Fury and werewolves. | ||
| That's what I think of. | ||
| Like the gypsy lady reading your poem, you of the mark of the wolf. | ||
| Werewolf would be cool. | ||
| Like, if you could pick one creature to be real, I feel like I know the answer to this because I'm your friend. | ||
| If you could pick one mystical creature to be real and exist now, what would it be? | ||
| Werewolf would be pretty cool. | ||
| I think Squatch would be great. | ||
| Squatch would be very cool. | ||
| That'd probably be the coolest. | ||
| And the most, like, reasonable. | ||
| For sure some Russian guy would hunt him and kill him. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Putin. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| He'd have him on the wall. | ||
| Yeah, Putin would have it stuffed in his office. | ||
| People would be real mad. | ||
| I love that you're saying this. | ||
| Meanwhile, there's like a fucking caribou. | ||
| I don't know what that is. | ||
| And this thing, an elk. | ||
| That's a water buffalo invasive species. | ||
| I just imagine a Sasquatch head over. | ||
| No, those are primates. | ||
| Yeah, that's a, when you get into the primate, like nobody gives a fuck about rats. | ||
| Like literally nobody gives a fuck about rats. | ||
| And they're taking over New York City. | ||
| They're having rat wars. | ||
| Have you paid attention to that? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They fight. | ||
| They kill each other. | ||
| They take over territories because there's no more food. | ||
| There's no more restaurants open. | ||
| Those little rats are out in the streets. | ||
| Same amount of rats, but no food now. | ||
| They're so smart. | ||
| They're so smart. | ||
| They're desperado, too. | ||
| We talked about that, like, you know, the thing when the test they did with the rats. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it becomes like this global consciousness that they have and they get smarter from a test that's done way far away. | ||
| Explain what that means. | ||
| What they did was on one side of the planet. | ||
| Make sure this is true, too. | ||
| I think it was. | ||
| Pretty sure it's true. | ||
| Look at Jamie's smirk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They did a maze. | |
| They taught a mouse how to go through a maze on one side of the planet. | ||
| Might be a rat. | ||
| Might be a mouse. | ||
| On one side of the planet. | ||
| And then the mice on the other side of the planet went through the maze quicker because of that. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| That would be in the morphic resonance area. | ||
| Rupert Sheldrake. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was on the podcast way back in the days. | ||
| Yeah, it's a very controversial idea. | ||
| Well, how do you gauge that? | ||
| It's very difficult to go, this is the result of that. | ||
| The cause and effect is a little cloudy there. | ||
| You know what I think, and this is just one of the times, I think of this sometimes, I'm not married to this, but I think that you have the possibility that To occasionally get these glimpses of maybe senses that are evolving in human beings. | ||
| And you can call it intuition. | ||
| You can call it some connection you have with somebody, especially with someone you really love, like your family or loved ones or someone you really care about and you think about them and then they call. | ||
| It's almost like, man, is there some sort of a connection? | ||
| Between people that just comes in and out. | ||
| It goes in and out. | ||
| Sometimes you're thinking about someone, they text you. | ||
| Is that just total coincidence? | ||
| It might be. | ||
| But it also might be that there's some weird, hard to define, impossible to measure connection that we all share with each other. | ||
| I think it's a beautiful way to look at it. | ||
| I thought about that one day when I was just, you know... | ||
| Thinking about my dad, I was traveling and it made me think about thoughts and how thoughts are almost like messages we send out into the universe to just let somebody else know they're not alone and maybe they grab them through some way, through some realm or portal. | ||
| And it's important to like... | ||
| Conversation is so important because of that, because it reminds you of things and you draw associations. | ||
| I was talking about my father one day, and you know John Heffron? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| He sent me a message, and it was while my dad was sick, and I was just, you know, very... | ||
| I was upset about it, and John was just like, you know, I went through the same thing that you did. | ||
| I want to let you know that hearing is one of the last senses to go when people are sick, just so you know that your dad can still hear you. | ||
| I had been afraid to call my dad during this whole process because I didn't want to know what he had forgotten. | ||
| John sent me that message on a Sunday. | ||
| And because he sent me that message, it made me think about my dad. | ||
| And I was like, you know, I haven't called him in so long. | ||
| I'm just going to call him tonight. | ||
| It was like four o'clock in the morning, East Coast time. | ||
| He was in his, you know, the, what is it, like hospice? | ||
| What's the last place that people go? | ||
| Is it like the nursing home is usually like right before people are passing? | ||
| I think it's like a nursing home. | ||
| Well, nursing homes certainly are a place where a lot of people wind up passing. | ||
| I think he went from memory care facility to the nursing home. | ||
| And I called the night nurse. | ||
| And my dad couldn't talk at that point. | ||
| But because I said something and John thought about it and sent me this DM, I'd never met him before. | ||
| And that DM made me want to call my dad. | ||
| And I called the night nurse. | ||
| It was like 4 o'clock in the morning in Syracuse, New York. | ||
| And I go, I know my dad can't hear me right now, but can you just tell him that I love him and I'm thinking about him? | ||
| And Karen, I think her name was, she said, sure, I can go in and I'll tell him I'll whisper it into his ear. | ||
| And that was about 4 o'clock. | ||
| And, you know, it was at 1 o'clock here, whatever the time difference is. | ||
| And so I fell asleep. | ||
| My sister calls me about 20 minutes later. | ||
| My dad passed away right after the nurse went in to tell him that. | ||
| And I can consider that a coincidence. | ||
| Sure, we can chalk it up to a coincidence. | ||
| Or it could be what you're speaking about, where there is some sort of deep connection that we have that we can't Express or articulate with words. | ||
| Even though these words that were sent to me are the thing that motivated me to talk to my dad, there's something to the effect that maybe there's something mystical going on. | ||
| Maybe there's something that we're not meant to explain. | ||
| Maybe the problem is the word mystical. | ||
| The problem is that we're looking at it like it's some sort of a magic thing. | ||
| And we're calling bullshit because so many people pretend to have it and don't. | ||
| And there's no real science to sort of back it up. | ||
| There's zero. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's also been, like, the amazing Randy's put out a reward where James Randy, I think it's a million dollars if you can prove any psychic ability, and no one's been able to win it. | ||
| Well, how do you prove things of the brain? | ||
| You'd have to do it through... | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| If it is... | ||
| Let's just go wild here. | ||
| We need Neil deGrasse Tyson. | ||
| If it is an emerging... | ||
| He would never allow this. | ||
| He would cut this off. | ||
| Never allow this kind of nonsense. | ||
| He doesn't want the curtain behind it. | ||
| He would entertain it with a scientific perspective. | ||
| But if you're looking at something like an emerging characteristic of human beings, for instance, we know that we used to be single-celled organisms. | ||
| It's very unlikely that during the time we were single-celled organisms, we could talk. | ||
| For like 30 minutes. | ||
| Or we could feel or we could do interpretive dance. | ||
| No one was writing books on a single-celled organism. | ||
| So as these single-celled organisms become multi-celled organisms, become human beings, things are getting more and more complex and more and more skills and more and more senses and more and more of an ability to manipulate their environment. | ||
| And I think that it only makes sense that there could be some non-local connection that we have to each other. | ||
| Some way without just touching or talking or through visual. | ||
| There's some sort of a connection that we have with each other that we just haven't evolved yet. | ||
| It's on the way. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| And that's why we long for it. | ||
| That's why we're really interested in psychics. | ||
| We're really interested in people that know the future. | ||
| Not just because we want to know what the future is. | ||
| We want some sort of a feeling of Of hope. | ||
| And interconnectivity. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not just that. | ||
| It's also that I think we know there's something to it. | ||
| Well, I think we know there's something grander beyond just this physical existence that we have. | ||
| And then it brings up the whole conversation about the creation or existence and introduction of consciousness. | ||
| When does that come into the picture? | ||
| When did it come into the picture, right? | ||
| When was the first thing conscious? | ||
| And what is consciousness? | ||
| Is it just sentience? | ||
| Is it just being aware and looking out for yourself? | ||
| Because then deer are conscious. | ||
| Are rats conscious? | ||
| Because it seems they're pretty conscious too. | ||
| It seems like there, I think there's a spectrum to consciousness. | ||
| And I think that one that we're talking about is the beyond. | ||
| You know, that like consciousness at next level where... | ||
| Yeah, it's got to go somewhere, right? | ||
| It's gotta go somewhere. | ||
| I mean, look at our brains. | ||
| Our brains are like a universe in of itself, and they're in the darkness until death. | ||
| I mean, you can't even... | ||
| There's no way to really, besides graphs and everything, to really understand the workings of the brain. | ||
| I mean, it's firing, all this electricity is going off, and these little teeny molecules are doing jobs. | ||
| And like we said earlier, sometimes it works great, and sometimes it's dog shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really wild. | ||
| Same person. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| And then there's this thing that happens in the brain and in the body, this immune response where they send out this molecule. | ||
| It's almost like a Paul Revere of molecules where it lets all the other molecules in the body know that some shit's about to go down. | ||
| It's like a warning. | ||
| Right, like adrenaline. | ||
| Like a warning response. | ||
| Yeah, but like little teeny... | ||
| There's actual little microscopic things that are doing these jobs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who... | |
| What the fuck? | ||
| How do they start their day? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Are they waking up like Joe Rogan and going and working out for an hour? | ||
| You don't even know they're there. | ||
| No, you don't even know. | ||
| That's why I fucking talk to them, bro. | ||
| Dude, I get it. | ||
| I think it's a good idea. | ||
| I was joking around, but also being serious. | ||
| Like what you were saying you could do for plants, why wouldn't you do it for yourself? | ||
| Why wouldn't you? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Self-help. | ||
| Everything is made up of things we can't see. | ||
| Self-love, right? | ||
| Self-love is the most important thing you can express. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| Yeah, if you don't love yourself, why would anyone else? | ||
| That's where the breakdown in the chain is. | ||
| This whole podcast we've been talking about trauma and pain and along that lifetime, what determines one person becoming a Joe Rogan or a Joey Diaz or even somebody who goes on to become a politician or doctor, whatever it is. | ||
| What determines them going from that direction to people who are committing crimes? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| There's something on a microscopic cellular level that is... | ||
| Determining these things. | ||
| Self-love is a tool to use to sort of, I think, help you Put yourself on the trajectory of a positive life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I agree. | ||
| It's hard for people to just change gears, right? | ||
| It's hard for people who aren't healthy to be healthy. | ||
| It's hard for people who don't eat well to eat well. | ||
| It's hard for people who are kind of lazy to get their shit together and be disciplined. | ||
| You're going to get tired, you know? | ||
| And if you're that person that automatically seeks comfort and nothingness all the time anyway, it's going to be hard for you. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be really hard. | ||
| What are your reinforcements? | ||
| And what are you reinforcing? | ||
| This is where I think events are very... | ||
| There's amazing opportunity in events. | ||
| And this is a big event. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Events like this pandemic. | ||
| Okay, I was thinking of like Bonnaroo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Terrible. | |
| Terrible. | ||
| I was. | ||
| I took it because I miss it. | ||
| I miss events and going out. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| This pandemic. | ||
| This moment in time where everything stops. | ||
| Have you watched any television since then and see people without masks and see people hugging and shaking hands and you go, ah! | ||
| Ah! | ||
| Already. | ||
| We've only been on lockdown for a month or so and already we freak out and we see people hold hands in movies. | ||
| We see people kiss people they barely know. | ||
| You're like, that bitch can't It's changing behavior. | ||
| It's that scary. | ||
| It's weirding us out. | ||
| It is scary. | ||
| Because this is what I've been telling people forever when it comes to places like China. | ||
| People are like, I can't believe that China's this military dictatorship in 2020. Yeah, and if you're not careful, that could happen here. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| That could happen anywhere. | ||
| If you're lazy enough. | ||
| We have to understand this. | ||
| If it exists anywhere, it can exist here. | ||
| And we get all complacent in this idea that that could never happen to us and we're too fucking smart. | ||
| Do you know how many people are rethinking their thoughts on safety, on security, on guns, on the food chain, the food supply chain? | ||
| People are rethinking just basic survival right now. | ||
| Well, that's scary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it becomes that sort of desperation factor. | ||
| Isn't this like we were talking about us being so comfortable? | ||
| We're due for some shit. | ||
| Well, this is it. | ||
| We're due for some destruction. | ||
| This is a trial run, because this ain't shit compared to a big earthquake. | ||
| If an asteroid hits, like there's a big asteroid that's flying by, it's a mile wide, and it's going to fly by Earth soon. | ||
| A mile wide. | ||
| Do you know what a mile wide piece of rock from space would do if it hit us? | ||
| It's a planet ender. | ||
| I would think it would leave a dent or two. | ||
| It's a planet ender. | ||
| Maybe that's the silver lining. | ||
| Maybe the silver lining is that we're getting a little bit of a taste of what a real, you know, more devastating global pandemic looks like. | ||
| And that's going to be the deciding factor on our preparations for something in the future occurring. | ||
| Yeah, they didn't know, but now they do. | ||
| So now that they do, there better be plans in place for all those other possibilities, like the super volcano, like the asteroid impacts. | ||
| We better reintroduce the pandemic department and get those fuckers their job back. | ||
| Well, we don't even know if they really went away. | ||
| We're both morons, let's be honest. | ||
| We shouldn't even be talking about this. | ||
| Come on, you know you're a moron. | ||
| Rude, but accurate. | ||
| It is very accurate. | ||
| I'm a fucking moron. | ||
| You're a moron too. | ||
| I am a moron. | ||
| We're all morons. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| You're a great moron. | ||
| I love you too. | ||
| But this is now we understand that the way things have been is not necessarily the way things always will be. | ||
| Oh, definitely not. | ||
| Things can get a whole lot weirder. | ||
| So we should be fucking careful. | ||
| We should be careful, but we should also be grateful. | ||
| I think the silver lining hopefully will be us learning how to prepare a little bit more and not argue and debate over these stupid things that don't fucking matter. | ||
| Right, but I think the reason why we're going on and on about stupid shit was because we didn't have something like this, because life was too easy. | ||
| Yeah, well shit, it's never good. | ||
| Complacency breeds contempt, right? | ||
| And that's, on a global scale, that's detrimental. | ||
| I think it's familiarity breeds contempt. | ||
| Yeah, that as well. | ||
| Complacency, what does it breed? | ||
| Complacency, did I just make up a cliche? | ||
| Complacency makes fat asses. | ||
| And not the pH kind. | ||
| Complacency is a dangerous thing. | ||
| Does anybody say pH fat anymore? | ||
| That's not real anymore, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fat? | |
| That was like, I think that died in the 90s. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Are we Googling? | ||
| It says contempt is the first thing, failure, mediocrity. | ||
| Complacency breeds mediocrity or contempt. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| So familiarity breeds contempt and complacency. | ||
| Everything is breeding contempt. | ||
| We're familiar with our complacency. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we need to know what's important, and I think now we have a better sense of it. | ||
| So the real question is whether or not we can learn. | ||
| Because people are good at adjustments when they have to make adjustments, but then when things slide back, they get this sort of the thing we were talking about earlier, where you don't want to look at all the possibilities because you will freak out, especially if you're doing edibles. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| I've been staring away from the edibles. | ||
| I mean, I have been doing the blunts, but I think... | ||
| People will change when their livelihood and survival is threatened. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But will they change to protect themselves? | ||
| Or will they change to adapt a new way of life to protect the greater good? | ||
| Because I want to be on an earth of people who are protecting human race, not Bob Johnson. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Oh, not an individual. | ||
| Right, because then we're just back at square one. | ||
| Well, if you look at the history of people, we're doing way better now than we were before, right? | ||
| There's obviously been some peaks and valleys and some mistakes, and we're also aware that you can kind of navigate the future intelligently. | ||
| And if you navigate the future intelligently, you make less and less mistakes. | ||
| I think we just now have to reassess the nature of our momentum, the nature of the society that we're creating and what we're trying to do. | ||
| And also the impact that we're having. | ||
| I know this is not sustainable for people to not work and stay home for months. | ||
| It's not sustainable. | ||
| I'm well aware. | ||
| But it's also amazing for the earth. | ||
| If you look at the pictures they've taken about the sky above L.A. I mean, I went on a hike early on. | ||
| I could see all the way to Pasadena. | ||
| It smells different. | ||
| It doesn't smell like butt in gasoline. | ||
| It doesn't smell like you're being poisoned by a little bit. | ||
| And you are. | ||
| It's not the same as smoking, but it's right next door. | ||
| And that environmental stress, that constant exposure to environmental stress, I mean, that affects your mood. | ||
| That affects your health. | ||
| We've got to all move out into the rural area and ruin that. | ||
| That's what we've got to do. | ||
| We've got to ruin that and turn it into this. | ||
| Where the fuck are we going to go? | ||
| Where are we going to go? | ||
| We've got to go on another planet with Biden and L. Ron Hubbard. | ||
| People in South Dakota right now are going, stay out of here! | ||
| Get out! | ||
| People in Arizona are like, fuck! | ||
| I know. | ||
| Arizona's going to be the new LA. I mean, we're all going to have to move there. | ||
| Arizona, you can have a gun. | ||
| It's easy to get a gun. | ||
| Cheap house. | ||
| Yeah, cheap house. | ||
| You just have to watch out for the cactus that shoot needles at you. | ||
| You're literally living inside of Satan's dick for three months out of the year, though. | ||
| For three months out of the year, it's 145,000 degrees. | ||
| It's a brutal existence. | ||
| People aren't meant to live in the desert. | ||
| Everything's dry, crispy, and trying to kill you. | ||
| You ever hear the noises at night? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everything's trying to kill you. | |
| What was that creature? | ||
| Coyotes and rattlesnakes and occasionally they have jaguars. | ||
| You know, that's one of the rare places in North America outside of Mexico that we occasionally see jaguars. | ||
| Yeah, they have jaguars that have been spotted on trail cams. | ||
| And the biologists, these wildlife biologists, watch it very carefully because there's never been a really strong, at least there's no real history of a really strong supply of jaguars in this country. | ||
| It's primarily a Central and South American animal, as well as a Mexican animal. | ||
| Is it something that got loose from Joe Exotics Park? | ||
| No, it's a real fucking Jaguar that made its way from Mexico. | ||
| I mean, its habitat is just deteriorating and it's cruising around Arizona. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| It picked a shit spot. | ||
| Imagine being a Jaguar and you're dealing with a drug trade. | ||
| You think you're the number one problem. | ||
| And then there's these cartels that are sneaking in coke and just fucking shooting at you. | ||
| You're like, shit, I thought I was running things out here. | ||
| And then you got a cousin who's like, a cousin jaguar who lives up in Oregon. | ||
| He's like, bro, you gotta come up here. | ||
| There's so many trees. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| You can breathe. | ||
| Look at this motherfucker wandering around. | ||
| I think I have that tattooed on me. | ||
| So see the skin down there in the middle side where they're looking at? | ||
| Yeah, they found out that this one jaguar that they had been spotting on trail cameras had been killed in Mexico. | ||
| And what, turned into a fucking rug? | ||
| They turned him into a rug, yeah. | ||
| How do you feel about that? | ||
| As somebody who hunts all these like... | ||
| Oh my god, look at the teeth. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Open that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Holy shit, that's insane. | ||
| That's what women see right before men go down on them. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| That picture is amazing. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| You should frame that shit. | ||
| I need that picture in my office, right? | ||
| Jamie, we need it on metal. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Get that. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Find it. | ||
| Take a screenshot right now. | ||
| Find that. | ||
| That needs to be in the studio. | ||
| It looks like it's in a habitat, though. | ||
| Don't lose it. | ||
| Don't lose it. | ||
| It looks like it's an enclosure. | ||
| That is probably a Republican website. | ||
| Look. | ||
| Jaguars are returning to Southern Arizona. | ||
| You see it biting. | ||
| Look at the size of that fucker. | ||
| It's in an encampment. | ||
| Yeah, that's in a zoo. | ||
| But just still, look at the size of that fucker. | ||
| Look at this lady. | ||
| They're like 200 pounds, those fucking cats. | ||
| They're big. | ||
| Yeah, they're big. | ||
| They're solo hunters, right? | ||
| Well, when you trip balls, apparently, in the Amazon, when the guys do ayahuasca in the Amazon, they see jaguars. | ||
| Like a jaguar entity comes to you? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You see, like, jaguar spirits. | ||
| You need to get away out of your own shelf. | ||
| I just think... | ||
| I don't know why it was... | ||
| I don't know why he did that voice. | ||
| But I think there's a really interesting theory about why that is. | ||
| And the theory is that the more people take a psychedelic drug, the more their experience and who they are becomes a part of the psychedelic experience for the next person who does it. | ||
| Whoa, it goes back to that consciousness. | ||
| Right, so when these people are tripping on ayahuasca in a place where they've been tripping on ayahuasca for 10,000 years, they see things that these people who've tripped before them were terrified of, like snakes and jaguars and fucking dragons that come from the sky. | ||
| Have you done ayahuasca? | ||
| I've only done DMT, which is the chemical version of ayahuasca. | ||
| So it's like synthetic. | ||
| You don't throw up and you don't shit your pants and it only lasts 20 minutes. | ||
| That's not fun. | ||
| I want to shart and not have to explain myself. | ||
| I'm very interested in doing it. | ||
| I would have to carve away the time to get ready for it and also make sure I'm doing it with someone who's a reputable person. | ||
| And then the problem is that it's not legal. | ||
| It should be legal. | ||
| I have a friend who's really working on What I mean, it's not legal, so you never know what you're getting. | ||
| You have to get through word of mouth. | ||
| You have to trust people. | ||
| It's always sketchy. | ||
| It's always sketchy. | ||
| Whenever you're dealing with anything, whether it's mushrooms or any LSD. Anything that affects the brain. | ||
| If someone's offering you some incredibly potent thing, and you don't have a chain of command, you don't have a lab this came from, you don't know. | ||
| When you get into the world of psychedelic drugs, it becomes very fucking weird. | ||
| You have to tread lightly. | ||
| You have to tread very, very lightly. | ||
| There's no FDA. There's no FDA for it. | ||
| And so you're right. | ||
| You're dependent upon these people who are doing these journeys and trips in their homes. | ||
| My friend Jackie Stang has a really cool psychedelic platform. | ||
| I think it's called MeetDelic. | ||
| And she promotes healthy ways to have a journey. | ||
| And the one thing she says, because I've talked to her about it, and I'm like, I want to do it, but I'm scared. | ||
| She always says, safety first. | ||
| Like, it's so important to be safe. | ||
| You need a sitter. | ||
| And the environment needs, like you said, the environment needs to be right. | ||
| I've never done it, but I would only go off of someone like that who is like, you know, knows the steps. | ||
| Well, you know, we were talking earlier about people that try to get away from the trauma of childhood. | ||
| And one of the better ways that people have found is through psychedelic therapy. | ||
| And psychedelic therapy through... | ||
| MDMA has helped a lot of soldiers and MAPS is currently working on some studies doing that, but also people that have taken psychedelic mushrooms have had great relief from some of the pain that they've had when they were younger because it kind of can rewire the way your brain works. | ||
| Now, what's fucked up about it is this book is Chaos. | ||
| Greg Fitzsimmons buddy wrote it, Tom O'Neil, and he came in and he worked on this book for 20 years. | ||
| I've talked about it too many times, so I'll give you the cliff notes. | ||
| Does that say Charles Manson? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's all about the 60s and the CIA doing LSD studies and giving LSD to hippies, giving LSD to people to try to change their memory, giving LSD to people to try to make them do things and have no memory of it after they did it. | ||
| There's a connection between the CIA's LSD study and Jack Ruby, the guy who killed Lee Harvey Oswald and shot him in that iconic photograph. | ||
| Sirhan Sirhan, the guy who killed Robert F. Kennedy. | ||
| All these guys are connected to this psychedelic study, including Charles Manson. | ||
| I mean, if there's ever a face of someone who's doing drugs... | ||
| They ran a clinic in the 1960s until this book came out. | ||
| CIA ran a fucking free clinic in Haight-Ashbury, and it closed down three months after this book came out. | ||
| They were running it for decades. | ||
| Some shady shit. | ||
| Using people and controlling them. | ||
| Well, they were giving people some sort of psychedelic therapy, or they were studying them and giving them psychedelics, or they were doing something. | ||
| Or using them to motivate. | ||
| They were doing something to people with LSD, and they were letting Manson out of jail over and over again. | ||
| He would get arrested, he would violate his parole, they'd let him out again. | ||
| He was a part of their program. | ||
| They wanted him to do fucked up shit. | ||
| Like they're researching him like a guinea pig? | ||
| They wanted to use him, most likely, to disrupt the anti-war movement. | ||
| So he represented hippies now. | ||
| So everybody was terrified of hippies. | ||
| Oh, so they were trying to put a bad face on hippies and make them crazy so that they appeared crazy. | ||
| But meanwhile, they're the ones creating the crazy. | ||
| They were making him crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they were creating the crazy. | ||
| Well, he was in jail for most of his life, like literally half of his life. | ||
| This is fucking mind-blowing. | ||
| Oh, I'm doing a terrible job of it. | ||
| But if you listen to the audio book or you read the book, and the book has like 60 pages of citations and references explaining all the stuff that is absolutely provable about what he's saying. | ||
| Who funded it? | ||
| Henry Assinger? | ||
| Well, no, it's Harry Ansinger. | ||
| Whatever his fucking name is. | ||
| But it's a great book. | ||
| But it's about that. | ||
| It's about rewiring someone's brain with LSD. And that Manson learned how to do this while he's in prison through this CIA study. | ||
| And then when he gets out, within two years, he got out in 67. By the time 69 comes along, Sharon Tate's dead. | ||
| They're all living in the mansion. | ||
| He's gotten people murder people and write pig on the wall. | ||
| All this while he's giving them acid. | ||
| He's giving them acid and pretend to take it, not taking it, or taking just a little and changing the way. | ||
| Doing like placebo effects? | ||
| No, no, he wasn't taking it. | ||
| So he was pretending he was taking it so he could fuck with them. | ||
| So they're taking acid and he's programming them, getting them to have orgies, getting them to do crazy shit, murdering people. | ||
| He literally was a part of this program and you can prove it by all the times he's been released from jail, all of his connections with those guys who worked for the CIA at the time and were doing those LSD studies. | ||
| all the stuff because of the Freedom of Information Act. | ||
| It's all been proven. | ||
| They did this thing called MKUltra, where they did mind control experiments on people in the 60s. | ||
| It ended in like 1973 when the guy who was running the program died. | ||
| But they were dosing people up with acid. | ||
| They were doing wild shit. | ||
| Safety, kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Safety. | |
| They had whorehouses that the CIA ran and dosed the Johns up with acid. | ||
| They thought they were going in to get laid, and they had a two-way mirror, and these guys would be like fucking sipping tea, watching these people take acid and have sex with prostitutes. | ||
| Dude, it's a fucking nightmare. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine. | |
| That sounds like a nightmare. | ||
| This is what happens when people get control. | ||
| When people get power and control, you can justify almost anything. | ||
| One of the things you can justify is you can justify taking a guy who's just looking to get his dick sucked and you put him in a situation where you're dosing him up with acid. | ||
| And you're studying him like a rat. | ||
| And he has no idea you're studying him. | ||
| He has no idea what happened. | ||
| You're breaking this poor guy's brain. | ||
| What happened? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, Harry came home one day and he just saw demons. | |
| He started yelling. | ||
| He was in the backyard. | ||
| He starts shooting his gun. | ||
| Next thing you know, no more Harry. | ||
| Meanwhile, she doesn't know. | ||
| Harry got dosed up with LSD. Because on the way home, he'd scrape together a little money. | ||
| Just give me a little rub and tug real quick. | ||
| And he goes into this place and they're like, have a drink. | ||
| Sit down. | ||
| He drinks and all of a sudden, doo-doo-doo-doo. | ||
| 12 hours later, Harry comes out. | ||
| He has no idea what happened. | ||
| There's no memory of it, but he's a different person now, and they broke his brain. | ||
| Is that like what happens when people think they're being abducted? | ||
| Maybe they just were on the CIA program and they were all fucked up at night? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| That's such an abuse of power and really an invasion of rights. | ||
| It's just, well, if you give people power and you don't have anybody standing over them and tells them what to do, and especially if you're doing something in secret, right? | ||
| If you're doing things in secret, did you ever hear that famous Kennedy speech about secret societies? | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| I don't think I have. | ||
| It's really interesting because he was struggling with the CIA and a bunch of other secret sort of institutions and government back then and secret societies. | ||
| And he was talking about how abhorrent it is to withhold information, how dangerous it is. | ||
| But this is sort of one of the reasons why it makes sense. | ||
| Like, if you give people the power, just experiment on these young kids. | ||
| Just dose them up with acid. | ||
| Just let's experiment on prisoners. | ||
| Let's just go to these prisoners. | ||
| Look at this guy. | ||
| He's been in jail for 12 years. | ||
| He's a fucking loser. | ||
| Let's just give him acid. | ||
| Let's see what happens. | ||
| Let's see if you can talk him into believing he's Jesus. | ||
| With no recovery program, no regard for their person. | ||
| It's so destructive. | ||
| That's really just terrible. | ||
| Yeah, this is one of the things in the book that Jamie was freaked out about. | ||
| He claimed to have achieved the impossible. | ||
| He knew how to replace true memories with false ones and human beings without their knowledge. | ||
| Well, I mean, most memories are false, but that's demonic. | ||
| Without detailing the specific incidents, he put it in layman's terms,"...has been found to be feasible to take the memory of a definite event in the life of an individual and, through hypnotic suggestion, bring about subsequent conscious recall to the effect that this event never actually took place, | ||
| but that a different fictional event actually did occur." He had done it, he claimed, by administering new drugs effective in speeding the induction of the hypnotic state and in deepening the trance that can be produced in given subjects. | ||
| It sounds like whoever did hypnosis on you did the opposite of that. | ||
| Yeah, they did bad hypnosis. | ||
| That's really so, so evil. | ||
| That was his job. | ||
| His name was Jolly West and he did this for decades. | ||
| This is a government program. | ||
| Yeah, apparently he was a really friendly guy. | ||
| It's hard to not have conspiracies. | ||
| Well, for sure, if you want to go to those conspiracies, they were real. | ||
| They are provable. | ||
| I mean, that is just so... | ||
| It's demonic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, look at this. | |
| It sounds like we're reading a movie plot. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| The National Security Archives in Washington, D.C. I found the version of the... | ||
| Psychophysiological studies of hypnosis and suggestibility that the CIA turned over to Senators Kennedy and Inouye in 1977. West's name and affiliation were redacted as expected, but the CIA's version Was also shorter and watered down in comparison. | ||
| This is because he found two different documents. | ||
| He found one in the CIA's warehouse, and then he found another one that was the one that had been redacted. | ||
| West's documents was 14 pages. | ||
| This one was five, including a cover page. | ||
| Most glaringly, there was no mention of West's triumphant accomplishment, the replacement of the memory of a definite event in the life of an individual with a fictional event. | ||
| So the CIA's papers... | ||
| Had a different account that showed that he could change people's memories, and then the one that was all redacted and edited didn't have that in it. | ||
| And these are people who are still, there are still people who are like that, who are running government and who are in politics, who are in charge of passing laws like that. | ||
| Well, here's the question. | ||
| It goes so deep. | ||
| It does go deep. | ||
| But here's the question. | ||
| All that stuff is horrendous, right? | ||
| All that stuff is horrendous. | ||
| Experimenting on American civilians and dosing people. | ||
| Fucking with somebody's mind? | ||
| Well, breaking people's minds, too. | ||
| You're causing schizophrenia. | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| If you're inclined towards it, those events absolutely do contribute to schizophrenic breaks. | ||
| That's been proven. | ||
| They've actually talked about that. | ||
| That's that Alex Berenson stuff that he talked about with marijuana, which is 100% true. | ||
| In some people, especially with high doses of edibles, they have psychotic breaks. | ||
| It happens to people. | ||
| They get schizophrenic. | ||
| They blow fuses. | ||
| It does happen. | ||
| It happens temporarily. | ||
| I know of people, I know of people, multiple people that have had real problems. | ||
| I think there's some people that have a sort of a slippery grasp on reality in the first place, and then they start smoking a little weed, getting a little too crazy with it. | ||
| And reckless with it, yeah. | ||
| And go deep, go deep, wake and bake every day. | ||
| You're hanging out with the wrong people too, and it's the wrong environment. | ||
| Or even worse, you're hanging out with no people because you're on quarantine, just getting high. | ||
| You don't have any community. | ||
| That's why it's so important to have... | ||
| Good people in your life that can get you out of those zones. | ||
| Because all that is is like a deep, dark mental zone. | ||
| And if you don't have a lifeguard on hand, you're going to drown in your own mental ocean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| That shit is horrendous. | ||
| And then all those bad ideas are mental ocean sharks. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| And I doubt they're replacing bad memories with good ones. | ||
| I doubt they're like, hey, remember that time your uncle touched you at the reunion? | ||
| Here's you winning an Olympic gold. | ||
| I wonder what the memories were that they implanted in the people. | ||
| Oh, to create Manson? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Well, I know they definitely have taken prisoners and convinced the prisoner that they committed a crime that they couldn't possibly have committed. | ||
| You know what this sounds like? | ||
| People have done that before through horrendous interrogation and torture. | ||
| They've actually convinced people that they did something when they didn't do it. | ||
| Well, that's how they persuade people to, you know, to confess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they lead people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what this reminds me of? | ||
| What we're talking about, Westworld. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's exactly what it sounds like. | ||
| Well, what we're... | ||
| Recreating memories and... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, we're going towards that way. | ||
| We're in Westworld. | ||
| We're going to be. | ||
| If we're not yet, I mean, Elon thinks we're there right now. | ||
| Elon Musk thinks we're in some sort of a simulation. | ||
| He wants to know what's beyond the simulation. | ||
| Well, isn't there a percent? | ||
| I mean, even Neil deGrasse says there's a percent of a possibility. | ||
| Neil deGrasse. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I have such a crush on him. | ||
| I'm a sapiosexual. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I remember there was a lady who got elected to something. | ||
| She's the first pansexual politician. | ||
| Openly pansexual politician. | ||
| What's pansexual? | ||
| Oh, you love everybody. | ||
| You're just a hoe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're just out there. | |
| Rude. | ||
| Just having a party. | ||
| But fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey, listen, I'm not knocking being a hoe. | ||
| That sounds like fun. | ||
| Maybe that should be my reincarnation. | ||
| I think she basically is allowed to be attracted to everything. | ||
| That's all joking aside. | ||
| That must be exhausting. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe it's not. | ||
| Sounds kind of great, though. | ||
| Maybe she can go back and forth from men to women, but she doesn't consider herself a lesbian? | ||
| She's not bisexual. | ||
| She's pansexual. | ||
| She's just alive. | ||
| What does pansexual mean? | ||
| No, I think you're right. | ||
| I think they love everyone. | ||
| Let's Google it. | ||
| I want to know what the Urban Dictionary says, because it's the only way you're going to get a definition. | ||
| Oh, that's a true definition. | ||
| Is pansexual a real thing? | ||
| I'm going to say you love all walks of identity. | ||
| You like straight people, you like gay people, you like lesbians, you like post-surgery transsexuals. | ||
| Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Well, that just means you can be sexual with a trans person, a straight person, or a gay person. | ||
| That sounds... | ||
| So basically a very open person. | ||
| She's a hippie. | ||
| A lover. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's out there doing acid and banging people. | ||
| It's a lover. | ||
| She's part of the Manson clan. | ||
| Equal opportunity blowjobber. | ||
| That's what the Manson did. | ||
| That's what they did. | ||
| They were all that pansexual. | ||
| I don't know if that's pansexual or more of a control. | ||
| I don't know if they were all pansexual. | ||
| I think you're born that way. | ||
| I think it'd be... | ||
| Unless you're the CIA replacing your memories. | ||
| Why would you think people were born that way? | ||
| Because Lady Gaga told me. | ||
| That was for my sister, Emily. | ||
| She's such a Lady Gaga fan. | ||
| I love my sister. | ||
| She's got two kids, a husband. | ||
| She has Lady Gaga as her screensaver on her phone. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| It's going to be that or a cat. | ||
| For Kenny Chesney, her dog's name is Chesney. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Kenny Chesney. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it must be great just to love everybody. | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| I'm pansexual in my approach to life. | ||
| I joke around about it and I'll mock it, but I'm going to mock everything. | ||
| Things are out there, they're going to get mocked, but it doesn't mean it's not great. | ||
| We should be able to mock everything. | ||
| Yes or no? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Because the people don't want to be mocked. | ||
| Anything that you can't make fun of is bullshit. | ||
| It's bullshit. | ||
| And it doesn't want to be made fun of because it's afraid of its truth being revealed. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| That creepy dude who says he can pray away the COVID? Oh, yeah. | ||
| That guy... | ||
| He blows on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| COVID. I blow you away. | ||
| I renege you from my life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I rebook you. | |
| When the lady confronts him, the lady reporter confronts him and asks him if he thinks that poor people are demons. | ||
| I did not see that. | ||
| His eyes? | ||
| They got crazy. | ||
| She asked him if poor people were demons and he looked the most demonic I've ever seen a human look. | ||
| The most. | ||
| I did not say that. | ||
| And knowing there's a camera there. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He looks like that thing from Saw. | ||
| He looks like you would have to fight him to the death if you saw him in your house. | ||
| Fuck that guy. | ||
| That guy's the devil. | ||
| That's the irony of people like this. | ||
| He uses people's need and want to belong and be understood for his own gain. | ||
| Look at that suit. | ||
| You think it's a fucking polyester suit? | ||
| Do you know how on edge you'd be if that guy was like that in your living room? | ||
| And he was screaming and yelling and pointing at you in your living room. | ||
| You'd be like, oh my god, we're fighting to the death. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| That's what you would think. | ||
| You're dating his daughter, and you're going to meet him, and he's... | ||
| You walk in the house, right? | ||
| I feel like I would just leave the house. | ||
| I like it when he's in my house, because I don't have to kill him. | ||
| Go to the upper left when he's pointing at her. | ||
| That one right there. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Don't you say that! | ||
| Look at his pupils! | ||
| He looks like if Disney, instead of making the presidents, like those puppets at Epcot Center, they made a demon. | ||
| Look at those white knuckles. | ||
| Look how tight he's squeezing his fist. | ||
| His hand looks like an old, degraded version of an AI. They just were like, well, fuck it. | ||
| We're not going to fix it. | ||
| Let's just put this hand on him and just send him back out into the world. | ||
| No, the hand is a real age. | ||
| Everything else has been doctored up. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| They doctored up his mug. | ||
| He forgot to get a... | ||
| There's no hand jobs other than the regular kind. | ||
| He needs to go to his dermatologist and get a peel on that to show his... | ||
| That's the demon coming out. | ||
| That's how old the demon is. | ||
| Look, it's all hairy and shit. | ||
| But what would you do, seriously, if you walked in and his back was to you and he just turned around and he was like shaking a martini and he looked at you, you'd run away? | ||
| In my house? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Depends on whose house. | ||
| If it's in his house, I leave. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His house, you leave. | |
| I leave. | ||
| I get the fuck out of there. | ||
| I get out quick. | ||
| Do you think he makes love? | ||
| Pardon me, sir. | ||
| Does he make love or hate fuck his wife? | ||
| He probably gets fucked only by dudes and they probably come in buses. | ||
| They probably come on out with, like, execution masks on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that guy! | |
| They just run trains on him. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Look at that face. | ||
| Kenneth Copeland. | ||
| Kenneth Copeland. | ||
| I mean, it sounds like a... | ||
| Have you seen the video of him yelling at the lady? | ||
| Composer, yes. | ||
| Play it, play it. | ||
| I haven't seen it in a hot minute. | ||
| We'll get pulled off of YouTube if we actually play it and people other than us can hear it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's their content, but... | ||
| Oh my god, that's when he's rebuking COVID. Who's the other dude? | ||
| That's his guy who's giving him in the bunghole on Sunday mornings, giving him the lord. | ||
| I'm picturing large Samoan characters. | ||
| Like Jason Momoa, but worse? | ||
| Way bigger. | ||
| Yeah, but big, thick guys that are just savages, just ready to lay pipe on that dude. | ||
| Oh, so you're calling him a bottom? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| If I had a gas, not there's anything wrong with that choice. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| I respect that choice. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Live your life. | ||
| Do you, girl. | ||
| I just think that anybody who's doing that. | ||
| Look, I don't necessarily think it should be illegal to rip people off and demand money for a jet from poor people. | ||
| I don't think it should be illegal. | ||
| But be honest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you think that you can't be mocked for doing that, someone can't ask you a question because you did say that you didn't want to be on a plane with all those demons. | ||
| That's why he has a private plane, because the regular people are demons. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| And so this lady's like, did you really say that? | ||
| And he's like, I did not say that! | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Like, you actually said it. | ||
| It's like the same thing with Joel Osteen. | ||
| You know, they're just... | ||
| He's way less crazy though. | ||
| Way less crazy. | ||
| But they have a similar, like, gloss about them. | ||
| But Joel Osteen is happy. | ||
| That guy's out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is he? | |
| Fuck yes. | ||
| Same fucking face. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It should be. | ||
| Because they're like, Joel Osteen is not like him. | ||
| Joel Osteen's legit. | ||
| That guy, he's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who the fuck says Joel Osteen? | |
| He thinks poor people are demons. | ||
| You don't think Joel thinks the same? | ||
| No, I think if you're gauging them. | ||
| If there's a graph of like worst ever preacher to best ever preacher, somewhere along the line, there's got to be a really good person that's a preacher that really is following the word of Christ and is doing it the right way. | ||
| And if they do get money, they are giving it away to charity. | ||
| There's got to be. | ||
| So you think Joel's on the better end of that? | ||
| He's closer to that side than he is to the fucking... | ||
| There's fucking Kanye. | ||
| Okay, already done. | ||
| Jesus is king, so shut the fuck up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why don't you just read Jesus is King. | |
| Bro, he sells tickets where you can only look at his ass. | ||
| They probably cost a thousand bucks. | ||
| Look, there's tickets behind him. | ||
| Look how many people are there. | ||
| Oh, God sells. | ||
| Sex and God sells. | ||
| Like, if comedy's done, I'm going to God. | ||
| And look at the people that sit behind their ass. | ||
| There's like so many people that they stuffed people on the stage with them. | ||
| That is so wild. | ||
| And this is another example of people needing and going towards love. | ||
| And I'm sure there's obviously a benefit to this. | ||
| Look at the size of that place. | ||
| It's just, it's another level of religion that I don't quite understand and my mind can't grasp it because it feels like it's teetering a little bit further away from religion and going into something else, another realm that is the opposite of what religion's meant to be. | ||
| Well, it's finance. | ||
| It's a business. | ||
| If you're selling out that big of a place and you're getting donations from those people too, how many of those people are tithing? | ||
| How many of those people are giving 10%? | ||
| If you have 30,000 people giving you 10%, oh my goodness, are you balling? | ||
| So you're like paying... | ||
| You're paying God, essentially. | ||
| So it makes God appear like a mafia, like a member of the mafia. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You treat me good. | ||
| I'm going to give you some money. | ||
| Just protect me. | ||
| It's basically like a mafia member. | ||
| I think the idea is that these guys are the more ballward these guys are, the more they represent God's word. | ||
| And God's word has allowed him to get a jet and a Rolls Royce. | ||
| And look at this mansion that was paid for by God's word. | ||
| God is good. | ||
| God wants me to have it. | ||
| And then people see that and it's like sort of, they get pumped up. | ||
| They're like, God is good. | ||
| Look what God's done to Brother Joel. | ||
| And Joel's up there balling out of control. | ||
| Rolls Royces and private jets. | ||
| He's just so, I don't know why his face is so taut. | ||
| Is Jesus hanging onto his ears and riding Joel like Seabiscuit and directing him? | ||
| Because his face is very intense. | ||
| He's just on point and focused. | ||
| That's how you sell a fucking arena, woman. | ||
| He's running towards God. | ||
| Girls are always worrying about what the guy looks like. | ||
| The guy's selling out arenas with Jesus' word. | ||
| He's reading a book that was written 2,000 years ago. | ||
| He didn't even write it. | ||
| He's reading it out there, giving these sermons, and he's bawling. | ||
| Look how happy he is. | ||
| He's like, I'm not even going to get my teeth bleached. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| He's laughing. | ||
| 50,000 people a week, it says he has... | ||
| Great. | ||
| How much money is that? | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| That's a lot of money. | ||
| Plus millions on the internet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, he's like the Chappelle of sermons. | |
| Even bigger. | ||
| He dwarfs us all. | ||
| He dwarfs Kevin Hart. | ||
| He dwarfs everybody. | ||
| Well, hopefully he's spreading love. | ||
| Hopefully people are getting what they need from that. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| But he looks fucking crazy. | ||
| What is his sermons like? | ||
| Have you ever listened to them? | ||
| Oh, no, no. | ||
| But I mean, he's filling up the 16,000 seat arena about three times if 50,000 people a week are getting in there. | ||
| Good Lord. | ||
| So that's quite a few. | ||
| Well, after the UFC was at T-Mobile, I think the UFC seats 22,000 at T-Mobile, somewhere around that range. | ||
| And he was there. | ||
| He was there like after us. | ||
| He does 22,000 people in Vegas. | ||
| That's a strange shift of energy. | ||
| Oh my god, yeah. | ||
| Like, you know, from a UFC to GOD. That's a strange shift. | ||
| Have you ever had a show where it felt religious? | ||
| A show? | ||
| Yeah, for you where it was so good and you were so tuned in that you got off stage and was like, man, I feel like God right now. | ||
| No. | ||
| I've had shows that feel surreal. | ||
| But life feels surreal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My life feels very surreal. | ||
| But no, never. | ||
| They felt religious. | ||
| It's because you're humble. | ||
| Well, I'm as humble as I can be and still do what I do. | ||
| You have to have a certain amount of belief in yourself to be able to do things either on camera or on stage or in the moment. | ||
| You've got to have a certain amount of belief in yourself. | ||
| I feel like all comedians are insecure narcissists, but you teeter on this line of... | ||
| You're the only friend I have as a male who you're really well balanced in that area. | ||
| Like your ego, I've never seen you lose your shit. | ||
| You treat everybody the same. | ||
| That's very nice of you, but I've definitely lost my shit. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I can tell. | ||
| I mean, you're tattooed from your knuckle to your clavicle. | ||
| I'm sure there's some shit going on where you've lost. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| But you also respect your boundaries and you aren't afraid to be like, this is my space, I don't need you in it, but with a smile. | ||
| Well, in this town especially, there's so many people that weasel in and try to weasel into your circle and be your friend and then start asking for things. | ||
| It's not subtle at all. | ||
| Yeah, they're like sycophants. | ||
| It happens so quick. | ||
| It's like all of a sudden someone's hanging around that's friends with this guy and sees you places and then he wants to get your phone number and then he wants to talk to you about a project. | ||
| There's so many of them out here that are trying to hustle their way into people's lives. | ||
| But don't you think, like, I don't know about you, but I see them come a mile away. | ||
| Yeah, you do, but they're still around. | ||
| Like, in this town, especially when I was doing television stuff, like, oh my god, television stuff is littered with these people because it's all about, like, making these connections with each other and the relationships that you have with studios and producers. | ||
| Like, everybody's sort of, like, working around. | ||
| So it's like, everybody's like, can you introduce me to Tom? | ||
| Tom at MGM. Do you know Tom? | ||
| Do you just send him an email? | ||
| Just an email, Tom, this is a great script. | ||
| I'd really like to introduce it to you. | ||
| There's so many of those. | ||
| There's so many people like that. | ||
| It's exhausting. | ||
| It is exhausting. | ||
| If you don't change your number every now and again, you'll get stuck with them. | ||
| I love that you do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gotta keep moving. | |
| I'm ready to change it again. | ||
| I bet you are. | ||
| I feel like you're due. | ||
| I'm due. | ||
| I should have changed it two months ago. | ||
| I have two numbers and I change them both now. | ||
| It's smart. | ||
| Then you realize who you want to keep in your life. | ||
| Or who you at least want to communicate with and send your energy to. | ||
| I can't imagine being like Tom Cruise. | ||
| I can't imagine. | ||
| It sounds like you can. | ||
| Impossible to imagine how you manage all that. | ||
| That's why the guy's jumping off buildings. | ||
| He's hoping he falls. | ||
| You know what helps him manage it? | ||
| Scientology. | ||
| Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's how he manages it. | ||
| We need to start a new cult. | ||
| You and me. | ||
| Excuse my naiveness in this situation. | ||
| Is the head man in Scientology still God or is it L. Ron Hubbard? | ||
| Is the entity that we're praying to God? | ||
| He's not the head guy. | ||
| I mean, they say things like to LRH and they fucking salute him and shit. | ||
| But I think they think of him as like a guy who just sort of like brought them the word. | ||
| And then the word is the true origin story of human beings with the Thetans. | ||
| And they were frozen. | ||
| They threw him into the volcano. | ||
| So it's not necessarily the word of God. | ||
| It's just the word of the aliens that he created in his books. | ||
| It's an alien thing. | ||
| It's like, I think, to paraphrase it and butcher it, I think the idea is that you are, like, using this shell and then you have this thing that's inside of you that really has come from, like, other galaxies and it was released here and now it's trapped inside your body or some fucking wacky shit. | ||
| People believe that? | ||
| Dude, the writing's so bad, you need to read it. | ||
| I can't wait to watch Battlefield Earth. | ||
| I love a reason to watch a movie. | ||
| Please get high and do a simulcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Please. | |
| You'll have to tell me. | ||
| You'll have to give me. | ||
| I'm going to ask you some pointers after so I make sure I nail it. | ||
| Just do it where it's just you and a bong and Battlefield Earth. | ||
| That's what it should be called. | ||
| Me, a bong, a battlefield. | ||
| And just videotape it? | ||
| Yeah, you sitting there on the couch, crisscross applesauce, bong, and every now and then you're like, oh my god, he just, hold on, shh, shh, you're like, this is so crazy. | ||
| Movie is so wacky. | ||
| But that movie is probably a million times better than the book. | ||
| The book itself, like I'm telling you, his writing was so awful that it's confusing. | ||
| It's like, how did he do this? | ||
| And he even wrote, or he was quoted as saying, if you really want to make money, start a religion. | ||
| Really quoted saying that. | ||
| He would take pictures of him with, he had a captain's jacket on, a bunch of medals he gave himself. | ||
| I mean, it sounds like mental illness. | ||
| Dude, you have to read Going Clear. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I didn't read it. | ||
| I did the audiobook. | ||
| Did you listen to it? | ||
| I listened to it. | ||
| It's still reading. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Actually, Going Clear, I read at least one or two of the chapters. | ||
| I actually sat down and read it, but most of it I listened to. | ||
| It's amazing! | ||
| It's amazing! | ||
| Like, can you realize, like, what he was? | ||
| He was like this guy who was mentally ill who was trying to self-diagnose and then self-heal and then came up with this whole system of, like, Dianetics, this whole system of how to, like, manage your mind. | ||
| And, again, for some people, it actually is effective because it gives them a structure. | ||
| Well, yeah, I was going to say, maybe, you know, the silver lining to his mania is that he managed his mania and then made... | ||
| Fucking cash. | ||
| Yeah, but he's dead either way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's what we need to learn. | ||
| Who gets his? | ||
| Oh, who knows? | ||
| There's so much money. | ||
| Who's in that trust? | ||
| They're like one of the number one real estate holders in all of Los Angeles. | ||
| It's creepy when you drive by the main building. | ||
| Psychiatry kills. | ||
| It's like, I got a guy with a head thing on, electric. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Yeah, people that go into there, they don't even know they're going into a Scientology building. | ||
| They think they're going in for some anti-psychiatry thing. | ||
| It is a little, you know, the whole thing is misleading. | ||
| The whole origin of it is misleading. | ||
| What is misleading? | ||
| The guy probably believed everything he said. | ||
| He's probably out of his fucking mind. | ||
| If you really pay attention to who L. Ron Hubbard was, he seems like he was lying constantly. | ||
| He was probably a maniac. | ||
| Was he a result of the CIA chaos? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, he's pre this. | ||
| He's before all that. | ||
| But have you ever seen the interview where Tom Cruise is on with Matt Lauer on the Today Show? | ||
| And Tom Cruise is mad. | ||
| Brooke Shields is on psychiatric drugs. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| And he's reaching out to her. | ||
| He's saying what she needs to heal. | ||
| Yeah, and he's so intense. | ||
| Dude, he looks zooted on something. | ||
| Look at his face. | ||
| It's so intense. | ||
| I just think he's very adamant about this particular aspect of the Scientology belief system. | ||
| One of the things is they don't believe in psychiatric drugs. | ||
| I'm pretty sure they don't believe in any of those, right? | ||
| But the conversation is so interesting. | ||
| I wonder if you did a personality trait test of the people who are followers of the Scientology religion, what the common denominator is amongst them. | ||
| Dude, you really want to see something amazing? | ||
| You've got to see Tom Cruise's graduation speech. | ||
| What was that one where he stood on the podium and they gave him the most amazing man of all time medal? | ||
| They gave him a medal, like a gold medal. | ||
| It's the size of a fucking hubcap and it's hanging around his neck like Flava Flav. | ||
| And somebody leaked this. | ||
| It is fucking amazing. | ||
| So the head guy of Scientology, that guy gets in front of him, they salute each other because they're in the fucking army! | ||
| They hug like in a crazy like they both probably came there and then Tom Cruise goes up they give him this gigantic dinner plate of a medal And this is like a pump-up speech. | ||
| It's like a pump-up speech that was like a Scientology thing. | ||
| Look at his medal. | ||
| He won. | ||
| Most awesome human of all time. | ||
| And so he's standing there in front of this huge globe behind him. | ||
| There's this huge image of the earth behind him. | ||
| This huge seal. | ||
| Freedom Medal of Valor. | ||
| Freedom Medal of Valor. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Most amazing person of all time medal. | ||
| Based off of what? | ||
| What the fuck ever, you hater. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Everything with you is hate. | ||
| No, I'm just analyzing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But come on. | |
| Imagine how crazy you have to be to stand there in front of these people with this goddamn dinner plate hanging off your neck. | ||
| And then at the end, they salute to L. Ron Hubbard. | ||
| They look at the picture of him. | ||
| They go, to L.R.H. And they do like this. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's a secret society that's not secret. | ||
| There's a photo. | ||
| There's the photo of L.R.H. What's with the decor? | ||
| It looks like the inside of Pavarotti. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See that? | |
| Everyone gets up and salutes to L.R.H. Dude, he looks like the thing from Ghostbusters. | ||
| The painting. | ||
| I would like to join just for fun. | ||
| Hugo. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| See how much they can convince you. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Vigo. | ||
| Vigo. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about. | ||
| How much could they convince you if you had to live like a Scientologist? | ||
| If you just said, look, I'm going to do a thought experiment, and I'm going to study all their work, and I'm going to be non-critical about all this, and I'm going to live my life, and I'm going to do it for three years. | ||
| Do you think people have tried to do that probably just like for fun on their own because they're so bored and just thought like well what would happen if they did and like what happens if they get caught? | ||
| Yeah but you would have to be there. | ||
| Or if they were desperate. | ||
| Yeah you'd have to be in the system. | ||
| What if they just want that was like their last hope and they just were hoping it would help whatever issue they had. | ||
| I'm sure that's happened both ways. | ||
| How many people have looked at the success of Scientology though and going I need to do something like this but they never did. | ||
| Probably a lot. | ||
| It's like a comedian looking at you being like, I wish I thought of that. | ||
| What, being mentally ill? | ||
| Being able to talk all day? | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| I mean, you downplay yourself, but your topics and your jokes, it's the same shit. | ||
| No, I got lucky in that there's an actual job for something that just fits in with my rambling curiosity. | ||
| So I'm a rambler and I'm curious. | ||
| So it's like, oh, look at this. | ||
| There's a job right here. | ||
| It wasn't even a job before. | ||
| It's just a recent job. | ||
| But have you seen Waco? | ||
| The Netflix thing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| I had no idea I knew about the story. | ||
| I was young when it went live during the actual time. | ||
| But watching that, again, there's a certain type of personality that is attracted to having a leader. | ||
| And it goes back to like, what did you experience in your childhood where you needed that? | ||
| But again, the guy always fucks all the wives. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fucks them all! | |
| And then convinces the guy he's helping him! | ||
| I'm not fucking your wife. | ||
| I'm helping you out, bro. | ||
| Dude, I'm not fucking your wife. | ||
| I'm your best friend. | ||
| I would never fuck your wife. | ||
| My dick was inside of her, but that's different. | ||
| I wasn't fucking her. | ||
| Jesus was fucking her. | ||
| Jesus is testing you and he's strengthening your resolve. | ||
| Can you heal from this? | ||
| Are you going to be able to find what you need from within? | ||
| And then he would sing terrible songs. | ||
| And then he'd just disappear through the doorway. | ||
| Didn't he sing like Green Day? | ||
| Please don't. | ||
| I think he did. | ||
| I think there's a video of him singing Green Day. | ||
| Davidians? | ||
| Is that what they were called? | ||
| Davidians? | ||
| Branch Davidians. | ||
| Waco, Texas. | ||
| Dude, that was so tragic the way that went down. | ||
| Ted Nugent lives near there. | ||
| Of course he does. | ||
| He probably helped out. | ||
| He probably goes and jizzes near the location. | ||
| So there it is. | ||
| Branch Davidians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does that even mean? | |
| You know, I almost bought his car. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| His car was for sale. | ||
| He had a 1968 Camaro and it was for sale. | ||
| It's a good year for Camaro. | ||
| It is a good year. | ||
| I love Camaros too. | ||
| From that era. | ||
| And it was for sale online. | ||
| And I saw it, I was like, oh, I'm fucking buying this. | ||
| And I picked up my phone, and I went like, and I looked, and I'm like, do I really want that fucking bad juju in my life? | ||
| You knew it was his car. | ||
| Yes, it was 100% his car. | ||
| Yeah, certify that it was his car. | ||
| I'm like, is that bad voodoo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It has to be. | ||
| I mean, if we're talking about there being some sort of realm of consciousness and things existing outside of the physical world, there's some bad juju in that fucking car. | ||
| That guy was killed by the feds and they burned his family alive. | ||
| Alive, dude. | ||
| And they lied about it. | ||
| They shot fire out of the fucking nozzle of the tank. | ||
| Women and children. | ||
| And drove over the walls. | ||
| Knew the women and children were inside. | ||
| Drove over the fucking walls and lit that place on fire and barbecued those people. | ||
| Well, that was a real... | ||
| I think a lot's going on there. | ||
| I think it also was like a breakdown in protocol and how to handle a high, tense situation. | ||
| I think that's how they've always done it. | ||
| I just think this time it got caught on tape. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think if there's ever been some sort of situation where people are armed up, look at Ruby Ridge. | ||
| There's a bunch of situations in history where they decided to put their fucking boots on the back of someone's neck because they wanted to let that person know they're not going to resist. | ||
| And that's one of the things that people do when they're in a position of power. | ||
| That's why power is so dangerous. | ||
| It is dangerous. | ||
| Because every single time people get this sort of ultimate power, it winds up being abusive. | ||
| Every single time. | ||
| With a certain person. | ||
| And it becomes the difference between somebody who does good for the world and community and somebody who does evil shit. | ||
| It's such a hard job to be a leader of anything, whether it's a leader of California or a leader of the country or a leader of anything. | ||
| Being a leader of something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Well, every decision you make is scrutinized. | ||
| And your whole... | ||
| This platform is built off of lobbyists and people who have invested interest. | ||
| How do you commit to your own decision and have faith in it? | ||
| You must have to lose yourself in order to be able to make those decisions. | ||
| But then how are you able to make decisions without yourself being connected to it? | ||
| Then you also have to deal with criticism because you have to be able to address people's concerns. | ||
| So you have to take some criticism and that's probably nonsensical and angry and ridiculous and then some of it that actually is constructive and makes sense. | ||
| Who do you think was the president who handled that the best? | ||
| That you've seen in your lifetime? | ||
| Obama. | ||
| I think he's the best speaker of all the presidents. | ||
| Because there's something about Clinton, I didn't like his little fake smile. | ||
| Yeah, he was smirky. | ||
| You just knew he blew a load on the dress. | ||
| But he still was an amazing speaker. | ||
| He was still an amazing speaker. | ||
| He was charismatic. | ||
| Yeah, and sometimes he would knock it out of the park. | ||
| But it's just like you know too much about him afterwards to judge him in the most objective way. | ||
| Isn't it crazy? | ||
| If I just looked at his ability to speak versus Obama's ability to speak, they're both pretty amazing. | ||
| They were definitely both amazing. | ||
| I think Obama had a calming factor. | ||
| I feel like when other presidents have spoke, just from my... | ||
| I don't really know a lot about politics or claim to be an expert, but when Donald speaks or other presidents before Obama, it caused anxiety. | ||
| There was a tense... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Behavior around it, like the way they spoke was very, I don't know, stress-inducing, but Obama was kind of velvety. | ||
| He had a way of delivering things and... | ||
| He felt like he was a guy you could actually hang out with. | ||
| Like, I remember seeing him on Bourdain's show, they were in Vietnam, eating and drinking beer, and I'm watching and I was like, that motherfucker can just hang out. | ||
| Yeah, like he could walk into any room and make it his room. | ||
| But he can hang out in a way that I don't think Trump can hang out. | ||
| Trump's got to be the center of attention. | ||
| It's got to be a big deal. | ||
| Trump's there. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Trump would have to be... | ||
| He's not going to hang out with you in some weird fucking restaurant in Vietnam after he's out. | ||
| He's not going to do that. | ||
| And talk about the flavor notes of the sauce on the pork. | ||
| He's not going to be able to. | ||
| Talk about different ethnic foods and different cultures that cook in a different way. | ||
| It seemed like when Obama spoke, he felt like he was in the moment and present. | ||
| Like he was aware of what he had to deliver, but was also aware of the way he was delivering it. | ||
| Trump seems like he's always someplace else. | ||
| Yeah, and Obama's, I mean, there was a lot of bad policies that were passed during the Obama administration, particularly when it comes to whistleblowers. | ||
| They were one of the worst on whistleblowers ever. | ||
| And there's also some real erosions of freedom of speech and of surveillance. | ||
| Real erosions of that. | ||
| A lot of drone attacks. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| There was a lot of drone and a lot of fucking innocent people died during those drone attacks. | ||
| So there's no president that gets out and just nails it. | ||
| No, there's no immaculate presidency. | ||
| It's a dirty job. | ||
| It's a dirty job and I don't know if it ever wasn't a dirty job. | ||
| I mean, look at the... | ||
| The nature of what it is. | ||
| You're ruling over people and a lot of different types of people and in so many different laws and states. | ||
| It's a lot to keep under control and then you have to worry about the types of people who are, you know, on the lower levels of politics and how they're making decisions. | ||
| You gotta worry about the type of people that want to be president, too. | ||
| Who the fuck wants that job? | ||
| Who in their right mind? | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
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Obama went in a babe, and he's still a babe. | |
| Settle down. | ||
| He is. | ||
| Getting a little juicy? | ||
| No, not juicy. | ||
| Squirty. | ||
| A little squirty. | ||
| A little squirt for Obama. | ||
| That's my new bumper sticker. | ||
| No, he clearly took a hit. | ||
| It showed on him. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because I think he read the briefings, and I think he cared, and I think he probably worked some fucking ungodly amount of hours, and I think it probably freaked him out once he got in there and realized how dangerous the world really is. | ||
| People have wondered, why did he not do what he said he was going to do during his campaign? | ||
| Why did he change a lot of that once he got into office? | ||
| And one of the thoughts is, well, they say a lot of things because they don't really give a fuck. | ||
| They just want to get in there, and once they get in there, they're like, trust me, I'm a good guy. | ||
| Once I get in there, I'll be fine, but I've got to lie to you and say there's all the stuff that I'm going to do that I know I can never do. | ||
| The other thing that people say is when you get in there, then they change your perspective, and they show you the briefings, they show you all the terrorist activities, they show you all the danger in the world, and you realize, like, oh, my God. | ||
| And you're responsible for making the right calls to zig and zag and make sure you avoid all the fucking trees on the way down the hill. | ||
| You're probably right. | ||
| That's a very smart way to look at that. | ||
| I don't think they're evil. | ||
| It affected him right down to his core. | ||
| Yeah, they become a different person. | ||
| You hope they do. | ||
| If they're human, they become a different person. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean... | ||
| You're not who you said you were going to be when you were running for president. | ||
| I bet a big factor is the access to information and then the talking to the top intelligence agencies and then all the people that are lifetime in White House, in Washington, and they can let you know how everything really works. | ||
| You're probably like, fuck. | ||
| And then all you're really doing, because if you look at the span of a lifetime and then a span of a president being in office, if he gets re-elected, there's so many things for you to address that... | ||
| How do you even get to doing all of the things on your daily to-dos? | ||
| You end up spending more time talking about the policies as opposed to actually putting them into play. | ||
| It's so hard to check all those boxes. | ||
| Well, that's the case with, I think, all kinds of government. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why I'm very patient about this whole reopening the government thing. | ||
| Not that I don't think we should do it eventually, but I look at it like a battleship. | ||
| And I think, I don't think this battleship can make quick turns. | ||
| I mean, I think it shut off real quick and freaked everybody out, and there's been a lot of crazy adjustment. | ||
| But I think the battleship is still turning really slowly. | ||
| And to get it to a point where you're going to maneuver it into the harbor because you're back to work again... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| How's that going to look? | ||
| Is that just going to be wide open, back to work again? | ||
| And what do we do if the virus flares up again? | ||
| Are we going to be able to accept the fact that the data shows that it's not as dangerous? | ||
| Or are we going to look at it and say, yeah, it's not as dangerous, but is it not as dangerous because we quarantined everybody? | ||
| Right, we flattened that curve. | ||
| Which is probably the truth. | ||
| Yeah, which is probably the truth. | ||
| It's probably not as bad as they thought it could be or would be or were worried that it would be, but maybe it still needs to be something that we need to stay away from. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think if it doesn't turn out to be as bad as everyone thought... | ||
| Then we're learning that something worse is going to come and we need to... | ||
| We're learning if something worse comes. | ||
| Yes, if and when something worse comes, that we need to improve our equipment supplies and our standard mode of protocol and how we're reacting to these things in a system level. | ||
| But now we know. | ||
| You know what makes me happy? | ||
| Honestly, legitimately makes me happy, is that most people complied. | ||
| Most people shut down their businesses. | ||
| Most people stayed the fuck home. | ||
| It's not like people were rebelling. | ||
|
unidentified
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For a while. | |
| But no, but they still have done it for over a month, which is a crazy thing. | ||
| To tell people to not go anywhere and not go to work for a month and most people comply, that's pretty fucking amazing. | ||
| This is the first thing I've done in quarantine that was outside of just walking my dogs and maybe going to the grocery store with my man once in a while. | ||
| When you guys shop, do you stock up? | ||
| Kind of, but it's hard to stock up when you eat. | ||
| I eat perishables, so it's hard to stock up on perishables. | ||
| You've got to eat bullshit food that's preserved. | ||
| That stuff affects my mood. | ||
| Rice and beans. | ||
| Gross. | ||
| Mac and cheese. | ||
| Keep it in big old dumpsters. | ||
| Big old garbage cans full of rice and beans. | ||
| If you had a garbage can full of rice, how many years would it take you to eat that? | ||
| A long... | ||
| If you ate rice every day... | ||
| Probably a long, long time. | ||
| How much could you live on rice and butter? | ||
| If you just had rice and butter. | ||
| I feel like that's all kids eat up until they're 10 years old. | ||
| No, they have hot dogs. | ||
| Yeah, they have hot dogs chopped up in there. | ||
| If you're over 12 and you eat hot dogs with ketchup, fuck off. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| It's supposed to be mustard, you weirdo. | ||
| Hot dogs are one. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| It should be mustard. | ||
| It should be mustard. | ||
| And the bun should be toasted just a little bit. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| Not a bad thing. | ||
| A little toast on the bun. | ||
| But I'll take sauerkraut every time if it's offered. | ||
| Some relish? | ||
| I don't like relish. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| That's candy. | ||
| Rude. | ||
| You stay on your side of the table. | ||
| I'll stay on mine. | ||
| Just eating pickled candy. | ||
| It's all sweet and everything. | ||
| You're fucking up the hot dog. | ||
| Is that your, like, junk food? | ||
| Like, what is your ultimate junk food? | ||
| I do love hot dogs. | ||
| I fucking love a hot dog. | ||
| I love in New York City what Joey Diaz calls a dirty water hot dog. | ||
| Yes, dirty water dogs. | ||
| Those dirty water hot dogs. | ||
| That's what they call them there. | ||
| They snap when you bite into them. | ||
| I prefer the kosher dogs. | ||
| Those are the best. | ||
| Aren't they just prayed over? | ||
| Yeah, well, they slaughter them differently, but if you have, like, there's a couple of different companies. | ||
| I didn't know they were slaughtered differently. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's the whole thing of something being kosher. | ||
| A rabbi has to be there, and it's actually a really bad way for the cow to die. | ||
| Because he knows. | ||
| He's like, oh, fuck, this guy's here. | ||
| They hang them upside down and cut their throats. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| See, look, I try and live my life... | ||
| Make a tasty dog, though. | ||
| Make a tasty hot dog that way. | ||
| It does sound really juicy. | ||
| I try and live my life in a, you know, where I'm... | ||
| Being as good of a person as I can, but burgers are so good. | ||
| They're so good. | ||
| They're so good. | ||
| So I'm not a bad person because I like a burger. | ||
| Do you want some wild elk meat where you cook some more? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah! | |
| Oh my god, my man was like, you gotta get some elk meat. | ||
| Alright, I got it for you. | ||
| I got it for you. | ||
| Dude, we've done almost three hours and a half. | ||
| Oh wow. | ||
| Hasn't it been? | ||
| Like three and a half hours? | ||
| We've covered a lot of topics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's the number? | |
| What are we at right now? | ||
| 322. Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Dude. | ||
| Dude, that blunt really kicked us off. | ||
| I was a little scared at first. | ||
| I was like, I'm a little too high. | ||
| I'm going down this hill. | ||
| I can't stop. | ||
| No, you're a natural. | ||
| Well, it's not even an interview. | ||
| It's a conversation. | ||
| That's why this podcast is so good. | ||
| Well, it can only be good if I have friends like you. | ||
| You're sweet. | ||
| No, you are. | ||
| No, I really appreciate that. | ||
| I appreciate you. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| You're one of my favorite people. | ||
| I always love hanging out with you. | ||
| We have a lot of fun at the store. | ||
| It's always fun to do these with you. | ||
| And you're real. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| I think real recognizes real as cheesy as that is. | ||
| Are we rappers now? | ||
| No, we're just humans expressing our hearts. | ||
| Real recognizes real. | ||
| But the one thing I realized in this quarantine, because I've sat more in the fan seat because I'm not performing as much, so I'm experiencing it from the other side and how important your show and your podcast is to the fabric of society. | ||
| Comedians always talk about this. | ||
| That is a preposterous thing to say. | ||
| No, it's not, Joe. | ||
| It's preposterous. | ||
| You are important because of the very subject matters that you have on this show. | ||
| Well, sometimes I can get lucky and get a guy like Michael Osterholm on and that was the guy that alerted everybody to how bad this was really going to be. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Was he the CDIC guy? | ||
| No, he's the guy that's an infectious disease expert that wrote this book, Deadliest Enemy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And he was on and everybody went, holy shit. | ||
| Because everybody's like, should we take this seriously? | ||
| Is this anything? | ||
| And then he did this podcast and then like four hours later I got a call from Dana White. | ||
| He's like, dude, what the fuck? | ||
| He goes, that podcast has freaked everybody out. | ||
| Sid Rapp, right? | ||
| Center of Infectious Disease Research and Protocol? | ||
| No, he's from the University of... | ||
| Yeah, Minnesota, but a couple other things. | ||
| I've heard of him. | ||
| Oh, you're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Sid Rapp. | ||
| That's exactly... | ||
| Look at you, smarty pants. | ||
| Oh, you know, I'm like you. | ||
| I like information. | ||
| It's on his little note that he wrote for me. | ||
| No, but maybe it scares you to hear that or not. | ||
| You're just fucking around. | ||
| But, like, there's a few... | ||
| There's a gap in availability with information and, like, fake news and all that shit. | ||
| Your show is important because you... | ||
| You have an unbiased approach to who you have on and it's just a wide spectrum of information and it's a great place for people to have an area where they can come and learn from things they may not really agree with. | ||
| Well here's where I'm really lucky. | ||
| Where I'm really lucky is that there's something that I'm doing that reaches this insane number of people but also has no one telling me how to do it. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| So there's no one telling me that I can't get this guy on or don't get this author on. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about this book. | ||
| We've got Rob Lowe's coming in or whoever. | ||
| They'll decide who your guests are. | ||
| There's no network dude saying no to Alex Jones. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Because of what it would do to your fans and your ratings. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| And also fighters. | ||
| What are you going to talk to them about? | ||
| Who are the fighters? | ||
| I mean, what about these authors you've had on? | ||
| Believe me, I have friends who are doing their podcasts with a professional production group and they're having these kind of conversations. | ||
| Fuck And they're saying, they go, dude, I feel like I'm working on a TV show. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| Like, I'm like, just let me do the thing. | ||
| And if this episode's not so good, I'll do better, and then next time I'll be better. | ||
| But let me have on the people that I can, A, get, people that are willing to do it, and then P, B, I'm actually interested in. | ||
| That's what's going to create the good content. | ||
| I need to be interested in this shit. | ||
| The only way I'm going to be interested in what you're talking about is if you're actually interested in it. | ||
| If you're talking about some shit, I mean, you could be talking about playing the piano. | ||
| I don't know jack shit about playing the piano, but if you're really into it and I hear people talk about it, I get fascinated. | ||
| I was listening to this conversation about Go, about playing that game Go and how complex that game is and about this is one of the reasons why that deep blue computer beating Go Beating a really top-level world champion Go player is so extraordinary because this is an incredibly creative game that's really complicated. | ||
| And I don't know shit about Go, but I was riveted. | ||
| Well, I was just riveted and you explaining it. | ||
| My mouth was open. | ||
| I was like, whoa! | ||
| I think passion definitely is an alluring... | ||
| Yes, for all of us. | ||
| It's a defining factor for creativity, and that's where we've got to just take control of what we want to do and just put it out there and fuck censorship and fuck what people think. | ||
| If you're passionate about it, then that's all that matters. | ||
| Jesse May, tell everybody about your show. | ||
| Oh, it's called Sharp Tongue Podcast, and I talk about a lot of shits, things I like to listen to and like to talk about, subjects that matter to me. | ||
| Will you consider my offer to do that simulcast while a bong? | ||
| Please do, for your fans. | ||
| Fuck yes! | ||
| With a bong, you, Battlefield Earth, and a couch. | ||
| Absolutely, I will, as long as you get me that elk meat. | ||
| Jessie Mae! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I rebuke you! | |
| Thank you, my friend. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I love you, too. | ||
| Always good to see you. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
| Yay. | ||
| Okay. |
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