Speaker | Time | Text |
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It's hilarious that your biggest concern was getting stuff in your beard and me not telling you about it. | ||
You've got a strange one going on, man, because you kind of like trimming the sides a little bit and then you're puffing out here in sort of a bow tie fashion. | ||
You're looking at this struggle between who I was and who I am. | ||
Why am I doing this? | ||
It's the pandemic. | ||
I got like, let the pandemic be or go all the way. | ||
And yet there's still this sense of like, ah, we've got to keep civilization. | ||
I can't, if I get, what's next? | ||
If it goes all the way up, you know, what's going to start happening? | ||
I'm already gardening now. | ||
What's next? | ||
You know, where does it go? | ||
How, how crazy can you go in a compound? | ||
Now that you're a father and this craziness went down and your protection instincts, protective instincts kick in, have you been thinking about moving elsewhere? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, yeah, I was thinking about that. | ||
Like Asheville? | ||
Yep. | ||
We've thought Asheville. | ||
Asheville's nice. | ||
We've thought Georgia. | ||
You know, it's a constant consideration, especially when you have a kid. | ||
And aside from, like, apocalyptic prepper bullshit, there's just a general feeling of, like, you know, I think if I... Were a little boy, I would want to be in a place where there's creeks and places I can run and woods and forests and stuff like that. | ||
So there's that consideration too. | ||
God, I hope my wife isn't listening to this because she's always like, maybe we should move somewhere in the country. | ||
And I'm like, we got to stay in LA. We got to stay here now. | ||
Especially, it's like, well, do we? | ||
Well, Duncan, you now have a successful Netflix show, number two in the country on IMDB. On Rotten Tomatoes. | ||
Whatever it is. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Same thing. | ||
And I don't know what that means necessarily, but yeah, yeah, it's true. | ||
I can't believe it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is IMDB even TV shows? | ||
It's Internet Movie Database? | ||
Is it? | ||
I'm not sure what it is. | ||
It's like IMDB is odd, but yeah. | ||
You're a successful show. | ||
I guess right now it seems like people like it. | ||
It is so weird, dude. | ||
Your show is so weird. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's so Dunkin'. | ||
It's the most Dunkin' thing you've ever done. | ||
Yes, it is. | ||
It really is great. | ||
I got lucky that they let me do that, too. | ||
That's because Netflix... | ||
Tell people the name of it real quick. | ||
It's called The Midnight Gospel. | ||
I've watched some of your episodes where you're talking about the way things are changing because of podcasts or streaming or whatever. | ||
And I think the fact that the show exists is a testament to that shit, that change. | ||
Because a subscription-based service... | ||
Versus like any old TV, they've got a lot more creative freedom and they could take bigger risks than, you know, coming into a... | ||
unidentified
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Look at that. | |
So good. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Look at the keyboard with the fucking witch hat. | ||
Oh my god, that's so crazy. | ||
That's so Duncan. | ||
Yeah, and it's like Pendleton Ward, who made Adventure Time, he listens to my podcast and he just, I don't know, we had a really great collaboration and that's a lot of Pendleton and it's a lot of like 150 other people at Titmouse Studios, like Jesse Moynihan, like just these brilliant people. | ||
People like Mike Mayfield, who are like, who just... | ||
Also, by the way, a non sequitur, or when we were making it at Titmouse, one of the really weird things was walking by an animator, and they're watching your podcast while they animate the Midnight Gospel. | ||
You know, it's one of those weird... | ||
It's not like a deja vu, but it's like... | ||
That's my friends! | ||
So many odd moments like that. | ||
Whenever you see any animated thing, you're looking at a squadron of brilliant, eccentric artists. | ||
Or Asian slaves. | ||
Yeah, a lot of people don't know that they send it overseas. | ||
And they didn't send ours. | ||
They let us do it in-house. | ||
That's so nice to know you're not supporting Asian slavery. | ||
Is it really slaves? | ||
I don't know if it's slaves, but I mean, if you're working for five cents an hour and you live there, you know, there's people that live in bunks. | ||
You've seen those setups where they have for some of the cell phone factories where they have bunk beds and shit. | ||
These people just live in these dorms. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, the Foxconn thing with the nets all around the building to keep people from jumping off. | ||
I mean, they're not slave slaves. | ||
Is Foxconn Chinese? | ||
Yes. | ||
It's actually a very good company. | ||
The best company ever? | ||
I'm just saying that like how some people think I'm a Chinese shill or something. | ||
How long before someone gets one of those animation things tattooed all over their body? | ||
It's gonna happen for sure. | ||
Someone's gonna do their whole back with that DJ. I know, man. | ||
Go to that picture again? | ||
That actually would look pretty dope. | ||
If you do get that done, shout me out on the Instagram and I'll find it. | ||
Thank you! | ||
Yeah, somebody tweeted at me that my biggest decision of 2020 is going to be when do I get a tattoo of Clancy on my body, which is pretty awesome. | ||
That's Clancy, the one with the hat? | ||
That's Clancy, yeah. | ||
That looks like a Clancy. | ||
That's a Clancy for sure, yeah. | ||
That's hilarious, dude. | ||
Someone is getting that, for sure. | ||
Yeah, I mean, it's the art. | ||
The folks who worked on this, man, we're talking like, these are like, that's the fan art already. | ||
Some of the fan art is just amazing. | ||
This is fan art already? | ||
That's fan art. | ||
Yeah, that's fan art. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
People have been drawing Clancy in all these different ways. | ||
It's so cool, man. | ||
Go to that one above it to the left, Jamie. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's from the show. | ||
That looks like it could be a back tattoo. | ||
Yeah, that would be awesome. | ||
Just a giant back tattoo of Clancy. | ||
I mean, when, like... | ||
Doing animation, and I'll never be able to look, even if an animated series, if I don't like it, or if the plot's weird to me or whatever, I'll never be able to be like, whatever, man. | ||
When you realize how much and how many people have to do just one frame, how much time goes into just milliseconds, and how many people are sitting in these rooms that are lit specifically so you see all the colors, having real deep conversations and debates over, What color they should make a pizza cutter in the show? | ||
What should the shade of gray be for this one specific area? | ||
So much thought goes into that, and that's part of making one of these things. | ||
It's called the dailies, where... | ||
You'll sit and you'll watch tiny, tiny little bits of the show. | ||
Every single frame you have to look for continuity problems and you've got to catch all these little things. | ||
I'm not an animator, obviously, so I'd be sitting there and Pendleton or Mike Mayfield would be like, can you go back two frames? | ||
It looks to me like there's a... | ||
They have an animator language. | ||
Looks to me like there's some kind of warble on the 28th pixel there. | ||
And you're like, what the fuck? | ||
And they have the eye to catch the tiniest, tiniest thing that's off. | ||
And you have to, because otherwise, once it's up there, it's up there. | ||
Jesus. | ||
I know. | ||
It's literal magic. | ||
It's like Titmouse Studios who did that is like, you know, I would go in there so stoned and I would just start getting that feeling of like, this is a temple. | ||
I don't think this is even a, you could call this a studio as much as it's a temple. | ||
I mean, why wouldn't you call it a temple? | ||
And then you see all these people, you know, focusing their life energy on essentially like bringing a thing to life. | ||
Like Clancy is alive now. | ||
That's a living being in some... | ||
In this universe, who lives in that medium of animation. | ||
That's a good way to put it, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It almost seems like that, right? | ||
That's why people get so upset if you change a character's behavior. | ||
Like, what are you doing? | ||
Yeah. | ||
You have this thing. | ||
You gave birth to this thing. | ||
Yeah, that's right. | ||
And that is also why you need a huge team of people who love the character. | ||
Because it's easy. | ||
There would be times I would suggest a thing that would make Clancy seem too mean. | ||
Because he's not mean. | ||
The moment a character seems like that, it loses all ability. | ||
People are like, what a fuck? | ||
Clancy's alive to you. | ||
He's not mean. | ||
Clancy's not mean. | ||
He is alive. | ||
It's like you're talking about your brother or something. | ||
He's like my little brother. | ||
I think of him as my little brother. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He represents you in a weird way. | ||
There's something about what they captured. | ||
Go to that image again. | ||
Don't give me the one with his head and a vagina. | ||
It's actually a universe simulator. | ||
There's something about one of the first couple of images that you pulled up. | ||
They look like you. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
And I don't mean they look like you. | ||
I mean, like, yeah, Duncan's thoughts. | ||
That's a Duncan thought. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Like, he looks like a fake guy that you would create. | ||
Like, it kind of perfectly fits. | ||
That is another of the magical aspects of animation. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Which is, I don't know how they do that. | ||
Spoiler, spoiler, if you haven't seen it, put your fingers in your ears. | ||
Spoiler, I'm sorry if this is a spoiler. | ||
Well, it's not too much of a spoiler. | ||
The last episode is the podcast I did with my mom when she was about three weeks away from passing on. | ||
They'd never met my mom, but they did the exact same thing with her. | ||
So suddenly I'm watching her, not her like I'm looking at a video of her, but looking at her like her. | ||
They got her spirit in there somehow. | ||
And that is just a testament to the medium of animation, because that's one of the things it can do. | ||
It can grab a spirit and hold it inside the art, and that spirit is alive somehow. | ||
Somehow, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I agree with you in some weird way. | ||
I wouldn't agree with you in a technical sense, but in a sense of like, well, it is affecting the things it comes in contact with, at least through a one-way dimension, right? | ||
The things it says hit people, the animation, it seems like it's a living thing. | ||
I know it's not. | ||
I'm not stupid. | ||
I'm not that stupid. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm a little stupid, but it seems like you. | ||
Well, it's not biologically alive for sure. | ||
It's sort of like there's an art to doing that that we maybe don't know because we're not... | ||
I mean, I used to draw a little, but I'm not really good. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Like a really good artist. | ||
There's something that they can do where they just can kind of capture you in like a little symbol, like a little thing, a little character. | ||
But they capture you in there somehow. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
That's, you know, Pendleton, like, when you watch him draw... | ||
It would be easy to think, man, I could totally do that. | ||
Because I'd watch him. | ||
He would just draw, and you watch these beautiful drawings that are just Pendleton. | ||
This is his art. | ||
Then I would see that and be like, maybe I'll try to draw a little Pendleton. | ||
And then it's like, What the fuck, Hand? | ||
I can't do it! | ||
On one level, what's so powerful about it is how simple it is. | ||
It's very similar to stand-up, the way Pendleton is treating working on the show, which is one of the cool things about him. | ||
His ability to cut the fat and get right to the simple point. | ||
That's where the power is. | ||
When you're drawing something or telling a story or whatever, the more... | ||
complexity that gets added to it. | ||
Not to say the show, it doesn't have, like, chaos and wild psychedelic stuff, but any decision we made ended up, like, any decision you make creatively in anything, it's like, what am I trying to say? | ||
Like, what is the artery that is running through this that I'm trying to express? | ||
And then getting as close to that as you can, and then putting it out there. | ||
Because otherwise, the whole thing gets blurred by all the I guess you could say, like, extra bells and whistles you might want to attach to it, you know? | ||
That's something you taught me, too, with stand-up, man. | ||
Like, how important it is to just, like, cut, just trim the fat, trim the fat. | ||
And that's a sad thing to do with comedy, when you think you got a nice eight-minute bit. | ||
It's like a two-minute maybe, but you, you know, instead of... | ||
You got it stretched out too wide. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But the two minutes would be great, though. | ||
That's the thing. | ||
You just have to understand that you're growing attached to, you know, the writer's expression, kill your babies. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's very difficult to kill your babies. | ||
When you create something, you can get attached to it. | ||
There's a lot of bits that I left on the table, left on the cutting room floor. | ||
I was like, this has to be chopped up. | ||
It's just too wordy, I'm too verbose, it's too this, it's too that, it's too long. | ||
Why do I think so much about this? | ||
I'm not showing a real reason why I'm so connected to this. | ||
So I just chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. | ||
It's hard. | ||
It almost always works better. | ||
Always. | ||
Almost always. | ||
Almost always. | ||
If it doesn't, it's not whatever your idea was probably wasn't that good. | ||
Sometimes you need a setup though. | ||
Sometimes the setup isn't funny. | ||
Like there's guys, it's not my style, but there's guys that'll tell a lot. | ||
Like Birbiglia is great at it. | ||
Tells stories. | ||
You're entrapped in the narrative of the story. | ||
You're capturing this. | ||
It's a very different thing. | ||
It's equally entertaining. | ||
It's equally funny when it gets to the punchline. | ||
But there's a difference between that and, say, like, Burr, right? | ||
Burr is hitting you with fucking punchline and this fucking guy with a thing and the ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba. | ||
And he's another guy that, like, your friend's drawing, like, you would hear Burr talk and you go, well, I can talk, too. | ||
Seems like he's just talking. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Yep. | ||
You don't realize this is like a masterpiece of syllables and pauses and the right amount of outrage and segueing it in and hitting you with this at the end and all these things that have put it together that make a great Bill Burr bit. | ||
It's like if you don't know, it's hard to draw what he's drawn. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's hard. | ||
It seems like it's simple lines, but go to that picture again. | ||
Everything is beautiful about it. | ||
Look at the perspective. | ||
It's like the kids perfectly sandwiched in the front. | ||
There's the dog and the triangle and the world. | ||
It's simple in the sense that it's not like it looks like a real person. | ||
We look at drawing sometimes as the realistic ones or the really good ones. | ||
We have cameras now. | ||
This, to me, sometimes is more interesting. | ||
It's like you're drawing some shit that's definitely not real. | ||
Yeah, well that, you know what? | ||
So when we were coming up with that, we had to come up with a character. | ||
And so what's really fascinating about it is this character goes into a multiverse simulator and chooses a new avatar for every place that he goes. | ||
So you have to take that character And put it in a completely different drawing that is that character and still maintain the body language that you're maintaining in that character to produce continuity. | ||
That's one of the challenges of the show. | ||
And also the conversations you end up having just to come up with his hat or what's he going to wear. | ||
For example, here's how cool Penn is. | ||
And how much he loves people who love Adventure Time. | ||
One of the things he was saying is, you know, people are probably going to want to cosplay Clancy at Comic-Con and stuff. | ||
And he doesn't have anything to carry anything. | ||
He doesn't have pockets. | ||
So if people are cosplaying him, they're not going to have anywhere they could put their stuff. | ||
So let's give him a bag. | ||
That's hilarious! | ||
And so Clancy ended up with this cool bag that he carries around. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
For the cosplay. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
For the people. | ||
Respect to the streets. | ||
Yeah, exactly. | ||
Because that's the world of animation and comics, man. | ||
Listen, man, it's really easy to make fun of cosplay, but that's adorable. | ||
That's a beautiful thing. | ||
Where's the bag? | ||
Oh, there it is. | ||
Joe, let me tell you something. | ||
If you didn't make fun of cosplay, I would be worried about you. | ||
I'd be like, are you alright, Joe? | ||
Yeah, they can't be mad at it either. | ||
You can't be mad if you're dressing like Ultraman, if someone's shitting on you. | ||
You can't be mad. | ||
You have to just take it. | ||
Have you ever been to Comic-Con? | ||
No. | ||
Dude, when you're around someone who's actually put that together and you realize how detailed it is, your respect will go up regardless of thinking, I don't think I'd ever do it. | ||
When you see someone who looks better than the version of Spider-Man that Marvel's putting out, it's amazing to watch that happen. | ||
That kind of contagion, too, of like, you know, again, obviously, Clancy isn't alive, but I know what you're saying. | ||
But we had this chat last time I was on, which I really love, is the origination point of ideas. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Where do ideas come from? | ||
Ideas is the alien. | ||
Ideas is the UFO. The muse. | ||
The muse, yeah. | ||
And so to me, in my more stoned states, when I consider this show represents over 100 people connecting and the connection in between those people channeled this universe, I do think like... | ||
Shit, maybe Clancy is alive. | ||
Maybe it's a channeled thing. | ||
Maybe there is a place in the multiverse like this or something like this. | ||
And then where it got really weird is people started sending me their art from like images that they had drawn on dimethyltryptamine or ketamine and stuff that has within it similarities. | ||
And I've obviously never seen their art where you're like, shit! | ||
But let me ask you this. | ||
unidentified
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Sure. | |
As television, as viewing things gets more complicated, and as it gets more immersive, It's going to come to a point in time somewhere where you're going to think Clancy's alive. | ||
And what you're experiencing when you watch Clancy, what if the way we're looking at life is wrong? | ||
What if we should just look at it like a thing? | ||
Instead of life, a thing. | ||
So there's a thing that you do where you drink water and you grow plants in the dirt, and this is a thing that exists only when the people press a box. | ||
And the box goes live and it shows a video. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then the thing only exists in there. | ||
But you go, well, it's not alive because it needs animators to make it and someone has to come up with the idea for the storyline and it needs a studio to fund it. | ||
Uh-huh. | ||
Right. | ||
And you need bacteria. | ||
You need food, you need oxygen, you need water. | ||
There's a bunch of living organisms inside your body that are 100% necessary for you keeping going in a regular life, driving your Tesla, listening to music. | ||
There's a bunch of other things. | ||
You're not one thing. | ||
We all know this. | ||
This is what this fucking whole virus thing is about. | ||
We got infected by another thing, but we're not one thing. | ||
There's a bunch of things inside of us, and if those things died, We would be fucked, right? | ||
If all the bacteria in your body died, you would be fucked. | ||
And you'd be so vulnerable to attack from the outside, right? | ||
So, we need all these things. | ||
Maybe it needs us, and it exists in that thing. | ||
Wow. | ||
That's so weird, man. | ||
Yeah, I mean, I'm telling you, I think... | ||
Sounds crazy, but we're really hot. | ||
Yeah, to me, it's not that crazy. | ||
I mean, look, if you want to take it to like, okay, forget all the shit about channeling some alien realm into this realm through, you know, this disguise a TV show, whatever. | ||
Let's just look at what we know is going to happen regarding technology. | ||
There's no question, but that... | ||
I mean, already somebody made a Clancy in Minecraft, and I saw a picture of that. | ||
So Clancy is now existing in 3D space and some Minecraft blocky version of that. | ||
But then, of course, as time progresses, the Chromatic Ribbon or any great animated series, Castlevania, whatever, Gravity Falls, all those things, they're going to end up getting... | ||
I put into 3D space in virtual reality. | ||
And then those worlds are going to be real, but now it's going to be more than just 2D. It's going to be a virtual space that is going to be real. | ||
And then, of course, it's only a matter of time before AI just understands the character of Clancy, animates the... | ||
The virtual Clancy in the simulated space, and now the chromatic ribbon is real. | ||
And then at some point, when is it just going to be accepted that, oh yeah, that's a part of the universe now that's inhabited by artificial intelligences, which we don't call that anymore, because you know at some point it's going to be considered off limits to call them artificial intelligence. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
It's going to be a dirty word. | ||
It's going to be like calling someone a tranny. | ||
They're gonna get mad. | ||
They're gonna be like, please, I'm an intelligence just like you. | ||
I'm not artificial. | ||
I'm not artificial in the way you think. | ||
I was just birthed through a different method. | ||
Yeah, that. | ||
That. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's a matter of time because I already know people in the tech world who think The term AI is ridiculous in the sense of like, what do you mean it's artificial? | ||
Like, what's really artificial? | ||
Like, you could say this is artificial sweetener in the sense that it's not actual strawberry juice, but it's certainly real as real could be. | ||
It's just a chemical compound. | ||
But if you have an artificial tree, that's a fake tree. | ||
I mean, but it's an object that exists, you know? | ||
I mean, yeah. | ||
But it's still the right word, though. | ||
Artificial is still the right word. | ||
You'd want to use non-existent or something. | ||
Dude, they're going to play this in the future. | ||
I know! | ||
And you're done. | ||
They're going to be like, look at that! | ||
Joe Rogan! | ||
Refuses to say... | ||
He's AI-phobic. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's going to happen, man. | ||
And also, the thing is... | ||
The AI is, I think the AI is probably not going to give a shit what we call it. | ||
But like, when that starts happening, which it may already be happening, man. | ||
I mean, I don't know if you've been looking into this or not, but have you been checking out Google Achieving Quantum Supremacy? | ||
Have you seen this? | ||
Yes, I have. | ||
And like, have you watched the Google videos on YouTube about it at all? | ||
Like the stuff Google's putting out? | ||
I haven't. | ||
What are they putting out? | ||
Oh my god. | ||
It is so wild, man. | ||
And like, when I was at the Comedy Store, a guy from Google, I got in a conversation with someone from Google, which is awesome, and he was telling me that they, this is like six months ago, he was telling me that, obviously before the pandemic, he was saying that they had achieved What do you call it? | ||
Quantum supremacy. | ||
And he was like, this is like the Wright brothers taking flight, but nobody can understand it because it's so arcane that it's not getting the press it should get. | ||
But then I was like, I don't have one too many vodkas, man. | ||
So I wish I could remember all they were saying, because he was trying to describe to me what it means regarding how quickly this thing is making calculations. | ||
And I was like, yeah, of course I understand exactly what you're saying. | ||
I have no idea what you're talking about, dude. | ||
Did you know that that word came under fire, the term quantum supremacy, because of its connection to white supremacy? | ||
Are you fucking kidding? | ||
I'm not kidding you. | ||
It was an object of social justice warrior outrage. | ||
You know, here's the thing. | ||
Here's my theory on that. | ||
Let me tell you. | ||
Here's my theory on that. | ||
Russians. | ||
It's the Russians. | ||
These aren't real people. | ||
I think it's worse than the Russians. | ||
I think what it is, is it's somebody trying to come up with an angle to write a blog that they could sell to somebody. | ||
It's like, you need to come up with some weird hot take, right? | ||
So it's like, I think more than likely that's just somebody thinking like, I bet people will read that, you know? | ||
Because clearly whoever is comparing that to white supremacy or racism didn't spend four minutes Watching the Google clip on it where people are explaining what it means, which, you know, I'm watching it on the couch with my wife. | ||
She's getting weirded out. | ||
She's like, let's just not watch this. | ||
I just maybe we shouldn't watch this. | ||
I'm like, no, let's fucking watch it. | ||
Let's go deep and see what the the white videos that start suggesting for us to because it's not like Google's being secretive about what the what they did. | ||
It's just it's so weird. | ||
I don't think people are like I guess people are a little more concerned with other shit right now, but one of the engineers over at Google just was saying, like, you know, I think one of the things I'm excited about when it comes to quantum supremacy is that this could be one of the technologies that allows us to discover an alien intelligence. | ||
Just, you know, kind of casually mentions that. | ||
I mean, yeah, it's on the YouTube video. | ||
You're watching it and you keep looking up To make sure it's actually released from Google because it seems so sci-fi that it could be like Black Mirror or some shit. | ||
But it's, yeah, it's like they're just saying it. | ||
Like, yeah, we might connect to an alien. | ||
We might be able to at least identify it. | ||
Maybe they mean because they're going to be able to sift through all the data we already have from radio telescopes and stuff that they could maybe look for signals that we can't find. | ||
How would they? | ||
Maybe something they could tune into things that they wouldn't ordinarily have the frequency to reach? | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Or be able to tune into that frequency, rather. | ||
What can they do now? | ||
I was watching Contact the other night, which is great. | ||
I forgot how good it was. | ||
It's a great movie. | ||
Jodie Foster can act her fucking ass off, man. | ||
She plays nervous and freaked out better than anybody alive. | ||
You're freaked out for her in that movie. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm good to go! | ||
I'm good to go! | ||
And she's about to drop through that thing. | ||
Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
Holy fuck, dude. | ||
We've all felt that before. | ||
That movie's amazing. | ||
Yes. | ||
After the third hit, when you put the pipe down, you'll go, oh no. | ||
And the DMT chants start happening. | ||
I know that feeling. | ||
It's such a funny feeling. | ||
I'm good to go! | ||
unidentified
|
I'm good to go! | |
Yeah, that feeling is the best worst feeling that I know of. | ||
Maybe that's the aliens. | ||
I've thought that many times when tripping in the middle of having some sort of like really vivid interaction with some intelligence or with some perceived intelligence. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
I've always thought what if those are the aliens? | ||
What if we're just stuck in this idea that travel is you got to move this to there, you got to move this to there. | ||
What if you just go into another thing and everything's together? | ||
There is no travel. | ||
That's true, yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, maybe this concept of planets and then stars and the way we have it set up here in this dimension, in this universe. | ||
We just think that's how everything is. | ||
Everything is, well, there's a star and there's planets around it. | ||
What if you can go into a place, chemically, that takes you to a nearby dimension where there's no matter? | ||
Where there's no form to things and everything that exists is just thoughts and light and perception and emotions and anger and fear and love and hate and it's all moving in geometry and everything's lit up and everything's impossibly bright and vivid. | ||
Maybe that's just like another place you go to. | ||
Well they used to call it the spirit world. | ||
I mean that was the name for it. | ||
It was just accepted there was like a place called the spirit world. | ||
Some people call it the bardo. | ||
There's all kinds of names for that place but you know... | ||
What if that's real? | ||
It is obviously real in the sense that... | ||
You can go there. | ||
Not only can you go there, but there's a visionary artist, when you look at the art that has been inspired by various entheogens, it all has a specific flavor to it. | ||
Alex Gray is the best example, right? | ||
Yeah, Alex and Allison, man. | ||
They like their art. | ||
You look at that, and one of the reasons it resonates for people like us... | ||
It's because we admire the fact that somehow they managed to go over there and come back and draw what's over there in a way that we saw that. | ||
But when I came out of it, it's like, well, you know, it's... | ||
Undulating colors and there's some kind of disembodied intention that seems to be expressing itself through a variety of geometries, but it's not just geometries because the geometries seem to react to the way that I feel regarding the geometries, so it's also kind of taking on the form of my energy output as though it's trying to be a combo mirror, but not just a mirror, an educational mirror that's sort of showing me how I'm affecting the world around me. | ||
Then again, I'm just not sure if I was just super high, but they go in there, and Alex Gray said this to me once, that they're cartographers. | ||
Ooh. | ||
Yeah, cartographers. | ||
Psychedelic cartographer would be a great name for a band. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
For sure. | ||
Cartography is fascinating because you go back and look at the old maps or you go back and look at like, my favorite thing is like old pictures of a giraffe or like old pictures of some shit somebody saw when they were Oh yeah, like bison on the walls of caves. | ||
Yes, exactly. | ||
And it kind of looks like a bison, but also it's somehow in that time period our brains hadn't evolved to the point they have now. | ||
So you look at a medieval drawing of a giraffe or something someone saw in the Crusades and came back and tried to explain to somebody. | ||
It looks exactly like the way your description of getting completely blasted on psilocybin probably looks compared to what you saw. | ||
It's a downgraded, weird version of it. | ||
People like Alex and Allison or Terrence McKenna, they're so good at going into that place and maintaining some kind of Like long-term memory that they can come back and fully articulate it in a way that we as people who've been there know what it is and then there's something comforting in that because that does point to the idea that this is a place. | ||
We're not just mashing down the watch or we're not just distorting our biotechnology. | ||
This is a shared place. | ||
We're all seeing the same thing. | ||
Now, that could be a synaptic place or a genetic place that happens to be in humans or something. | ||
You know, we'll never be able to answer that probably in our lifetimes. | ||
But to me, regardless, it's still a place. | ||
And to get back to what you were saying about our current concept of travel. | ||
You know, our current idea that, well, I need to get my meat body over here, because if I don't, that means I'm there. | ||
And, you know, that's how I know I've been there, because I was there in my body. | ||
You know, this is like the guy who founded the Hare Krishna, His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. | ||
He would show, he would, in his writings, he would like... | ||
It was derisive of the idea that people were sending a metal ship to the moon with bodies inside of it. | ||
He would say that shows where human consciousness is right now because they think they're their bodies and they think they need to put their body in this box and send it to the moon because they haven't figured out yet that you don't need metal to send yourself to anywhere in the universe that you want to go. | ||
It just requires yoga and discipline. | ||
You know, which is hilarious. | ||
And also, I remember reading that and thinking like, but I still want there to be interstellar fucking travel, man. | ||
You know, like I still want to get in the box and travel to the moon. | ||
That being said, you know, I think that you're on to something when you are contemplating right now that maybe our idea of going to one place or another with our meat bodies could be looked at in the future as a little archaic. | ||
Well, when they talk about there being different dimensions, right? | ||
Like when they use quantum physics to determine the number of dimensions, they've determined there's multiple dimensions that we don't have access to, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is that how it works, or am I reading it in a dumb way? | ||
Because I believe there's... | ||
What do they think there are? | ||
Do they think there's 9 or 11 dimensions? | ||
Usually when I look this up, it's 11, but up to 26 maybe some people even think so. | ||
Up to 26. First of all, when those dudes are writing that shit down on the yellow legal pads, we all have to take their word for it. | ||
Yeah, sure. | ||
Yeah, okay. | ||
How many people know what the fuck they're writing down on those goddamn yellow legal pads? | ||
When you see those physics dudes, and they're doing those crazy... | ||
Yeah. | ||
We have to take their word for it. | ||
So apparently mathematically, right? | ||
That's why they believe there's at least 11 dimensions. | ||
So what does that mean? | ||
So it means we have access to some dimensions and we don't have access to others? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Is it theoretically that they exist? | ||
Is it possible to transverse the distance between this dimension and that dimension? | ||
Man, this is the thing. | ||
I'm glad you're asking me this because, you know, I got my doctorate at the University of Bro Science and I can't fully answer this question. | ||
You see, I don't understand it. | ||
Does it have to do with 5G? Don't mention that shit, dude. | ||
My fucking poodle. | ||
My poodle's fucked because of 5G, man. | ||
Like, it fucked up my poodle. | ||
Like, it's eyes turned just both of them white, and it's like, yeah, it froths all the time. | ||
It just froths. | ||
Are you near a tower? | ||
What? | ||
Am I near a tower? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I didn't think I was until that happened to the poodle, but... | ||
Like, I'm just an idiot. | ||
It's got rabies. | ||
You blame it on 5G. Your dog's trying to bite everything. | ||
No, but I'll tell you this. | ||
My fucking poodle took out a mouse today. | ||
Like the other day, I have a little cute little poodle. | ||
And this is just a cute creature, sits in my lap. | ||
I love this dog. | ||
But our new place... | ||
I noticed like mouse turds around the dog food and it sucks because you're like damn that mouse is definitely gonna get through the doggy door and then we're gonna have mice in the fucking house and that's gonna be a nightmare so anyway I was like under a tree with my kid and I looked down And there's a broken body of a mouse that one of the dogs took out. | ||
It's, you know, like just been smashed to death. | ||
And like, I know, it's brutal. | ||
I don't think my son saw it, thank God. | ||
I don't think he's ready to deal with that reality that like Gatsby on, speaking of dimensions, on the dimension subjectively that that mouse lives in, Gatsby is a dragon. | ||
That's a monster that lives in the field it runs in when it's trying to get food for its kids. | ||
And it's not even hungry. | ||
It's full. | ||
It's a full monster. | ||
Oh, no. | ||
I saw it kill the mouse today. | ||
You know, and my wife is like, you've got to get the mouse away from it. | ||
Don't let them torture it like that. | ||
You've got to take it out of its misery. | ||
And I'm like, all right, all right, all right. | ||
I'll get it, and then we'll execute the mouse, you know? | ||
So I start walking over to the poodle. | ||
That's not my Gatsby anymore. | ||
It's killing. | ||
And he looks at me and he's like... | ||
Growled at you? | ||
No, at the mouse, at everything. | ||
Just approaching anything. | ||
And so then, he like... | ||
A little wolf in him? | ||
Dude, he's like tap dancing on this mouse. | ||
And he realizes that we're approaching to take his prey. | ||
And he just looks back like the fucking American werewolf in London and just goes off into the shadows behind the house to finish off the mouse. | ||
And all you hear is like... | ||
Is he's like killing the mouse. | ||
You know? | ||
That's a fucking poodle! | ||
That poodle's the sweetest little thing ever. | ||
But like it's also I think maybe something in animals knows that like and there was a time when mice were a sign that things are they would eat your grain. | ||
They would fuck you up. | ||
Like, they spread disease. | ||
They'd shit on your baby, you know? | ||
They were like, they're gonna piss all over your hut. | ||
Maybe there's something in dogs that just knows that. | ||
I mean, I don't think he's a sociopath. | ||
I don't think he's doing, like, Jeffrey Dahmer shit, where he's just like, I wonder what sound it makes as it dies. | ||
I think they're prey animals to dogs, too. | ||
Because coyotes eat a lot of rodents. | ||
One of the reasons why we don't have rodents, like real rodent problems that we could, like New York City has, is we have way more coyotes. | ||
Coyotes are everywhere. | ||
And hawks, a lot of birds, those are the ones killing. | ||
So they're prey animals. | ||
The reason why they're so prolific and they grow so fast and there's so many of them is because a lot of things eat them. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
Yeah, all the animals. | ||
Wolves eat them. | ||
Everything that can get a hold of them eats them. | ||
Dogs, too. | ||
And dogs are from wolves. | ||
So dogs see a mouse. | ||
They're like, I'm eating that. | ||
That must look like a delicious, cold slice of watermelon on a hot July day. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Just running across your yard when you're baked. | ||
Yeah, you're like, it's a mouse! | ||
Fuck yeah! | ||
It's a perfect orange. | ||
You know those oranges where sometimes the peel just comes right free? | ||
It's so satisfying, like very little work, and then you bite into that orange and it's just juicy! | ||
Delicious! | ||
That's that mouse. | ||
That mouse just running. | ||
Bullshit-ass mouse thinks he's gonna run through my fucking yard. | ||
No. | ||
And that mouse, that's the other thing that's really sad about it. | ||
I mean, the mouse is cute. | ||
Like, this wasn't, like, some dangerous-looking mouse. | ||
This mouse looked like it was, like, in Act 2 of a Disney film or something. | ||
Like, you know? | ||
Like, this mouse looked, like, sweet. | ||
Like, the mouse looked like it could It was Patton Oswalt in Ratatouille. | ||
It was like that level of cute, man. | ||
I know! | ||
My heart is breaking because it's like, what do you do? | ||
That being said, there's not much I could have done. | ||
This is the way nature is. | ||
Get back to your dimension thing, man. | ||
Not that it's literally a physical dimension, but the reality tunnel that my poodle lives in and that mouse lives in is so fundamentally different than our reality tunnel that the mouse is in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. | ||
The mouse is in The Walking Dead, except it's like two Cavalier, King Charles, a poodle, and a Chihuahua. | ||
But for the mouse, that's The Walking Dead, and the mouse... | ||
It's got to eat. | ||
It's got to get food. | ||
And so it's constantly developed this way that humans would develop, which I think The Walking Dead did a good job of, the comics especially, of showing the way people over time would evolve to deal with zombies and how people would gradually, completely... | ||
Change or transform based on their predators. | ||
The rats and mice have done that. | ||
When you see a thing that is a prey animal, you're seeing a reflection of the predator in the prey animal. | ||
Are you aware of what's going on with rats in New York City? | ||
I can't fucking imagine. | ||
There's rat wars going on because the restaurants are out of business, right? | ||
So the restaurants closed down, so all the rats food supplies gone. | ||
So rats have started moving into other rats territories and killing and cannibalizing rats even. | ||
unidentified
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Wow. | |
Dude, rat wars. | ||
unidentified
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That's crazy. | |
That's a cartoon. | ||
The rats didn't do anything wrong. | ||
They're just being rats, and all of a sudden the food supply got cut off. | ||
Holy shit, man. | ||
That is so intense. | ||
And think of that level of reality. | ||
That level of reality is a level of reality that is taking place in some of those tunnels down there, man. | ||
They don't even use them anymore. | ||
There's rat infestants. | ||
Yeah, just floods of rats who have, like, you know, decided that's their kingdom or whatever that are now being invaded. | ||
That's so weird. | ||
And also, it's dark. | ||
Like, it's all smell. | ||
So, like, the world of a rat down there, it's not like there's light in the subterranean depths of New York. | ||
So, it's like their universe is – there's a universe of smell. | ||
And I guess maybe they could – I'm sure they do see down there, but the way they see is, like – Who knows? | ||
So they're looking at whatever they're seeing as a completely different thing, and then they have a complete different set of priorities. | ||
What's that show, man? | ||
It's a really beautiful but disgusting documentary. | ||
I think it's called Rats. | ||
Yeah, Rats, the one on Netflix. | ||
They send the weak ones to eat poison. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
That! | ||
Just that alone! | ||
We played a video the other day of a rat setting off a mousetrap with a stick. | ||
Carrying a stick over to the mousetrap, dropping it. | ||
The trap goes off and it doesn't even flinch. | ||
Like it knows how to shut off a trap. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
Yeah, that's fucking crazy. | ||
Dude, there's millions of them, too. | ||
That's what's really crazy. | ||
New York City has as many rats as it has people. | ||
And that's just a rough guess. | ||
You know, I mean, I don't know what kind of fucking rat census they're taking. | ||
I mean, how do they know? | ||
How do they know? | ||
You get a bunch of dudes who are just experts at counting shit, and you go, what do you think? | ||
A fuckload? | ||
Do you want to say there's as many rats as there are people? | ||
Okay, watch this. | ||
Watch this. | ||
Boom. | ||
Sets it off. | ||
Didn't even flinch, dude. | ||
Play that again. | ||
Watch how he walks up to it, sets it off, and watch how he doesn't flinch. | ||
That's a violent thing. | ||
A thing exploding in front of him and slamming over the ground. | ||
And he 100% knew it was going to happen. | ||
And didn't even flinch. | ||
That's the way I act when I'm getting a coke out of a machine. | ||
Yes, exactly. | ||
Just whatever. | ||
I do it all the time. | ||
The coke drops, you don't bounce back. | ||
It's like, thank God. | ||
It's nice they're leaving these for us now. | ||
I wonder if they know that this is dangerous. | ||
They'll probably figure it out. | ||
Yeah, they know how to set those things off. | ||
That's insane. | ||
Well, this is one of the cool essays Terrence McKenna wrote, I love, that we've talked about before. | ||
We've talked about everything we've talked about already, so fuck it. | ||
But isn't that one of the things he said in this beautiful, crazy essay? | ||
Everything was cool until we split the atom and then that was like no they're like we can't that's too much that's we're we're always in transit so when we say everything was cool until the thing about people is we're always going somewhere in terms of we're always trying to make better things and we're always moving into a better place and a better thing that that there's never gonna be it was good until this is all like Romantic thinking like looking back. | ||
I'm sorry I don't mean he's saying it was good until we split the atom. | ||
He was saying, we split the atom and the greater intelligences that were existing in alternate dimensions were like, hey, wait, what the fuck? | ||
That's what he was saying. | ||
They're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
They can't do that. | ||
The way he put it, and I'm not only paraphrasing, I'm probably misphrasing, but as I remember the essay... | ||
The idea is like that parallel timeline, the multiverse right next to ours that you see, that's the DMT realm. | ||
But this DMT is just showing you one version of it. | ||
But that is populated with spirits or aliens or whatever the name you want to give them. | ||
And they are pretty much, as far as we go, they're just like... | ||
They look at us the way we look at birds or whatever. | ||
It's like they're there, but maybe some of them study us or are interested. | ||
Sure, maybe some of them hunt us from time to time or maybe some of them possess us or whatever, but mostly it's a world that coexists with us with a very limited form of interaction. | ||
Is, you know, subtle. | ||
But somehow there's some, like, Star Trek intentionality behind that, which is like, let them evolve as they're evolving. | ||
Let's not fuck with it. | ||
But the splitting of the atom, that was powerful enough that it bled over into their realm destructively. | ||
And so they were like, that was the beginning of the end for us. | ||
Not because it meant a nuclear holocaust or whatever, but because they couldn't just ignore us anymore. | ||
And that this was like, you know, I don't know. | ||
Maybe this is where aliens are coming or the singularity. | ||
The thing we call the singularity is not that we technologically... | ||
Create a machine that produces a thing that opens up a parallel timeline or creates all moments at once, but rather that's when they come here. | ||
That in the way we see that, because we're so limited in our understanding, when I do something, I'm like, I'm doing this! | ||
This is how I did it! | ||
I did it! | ||
This is like, in music, If you write a song, or you write music, and you're just in the room with somebody, there's some kind of law where they get credit for it, because just they were there. | ||
That's a collaboration. | ||
Musicians, someone explained this to me a long time ago, but there's an intense way of quantifying collaboration in music that is a little different than in making other forms of media. | ||
And I think it's a little bit more sophisticated in its Way of looking at that quantification, like every time we finish a podcast, we always have the same, damn, whenever we talk, it's like you bring, like these conversations we have, I'm not having them all the time. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's like us together and Jamie and like something about that produces a space where we're able to have these kinds of conversations. | ||
And so quantifying that is like, How would you even fucking quantify that? | ||
But anyway, what I'm saying is... | ||
Right, when certain people are around, the people that are creating the music, the music is better. | ||
Yeah, that. | ||
But so, to get back to the weirdo idea of technology not even being a thing we're making, but we're pretending we're making, because we can't see the fact that technology is crystallizing in our time frame, and as part of that crystallization, because it's such a... | ||
It's such an insane visitation. | ||
We have to, in our brains, invent a reason that it's happening. | ||
And so we're making it and someone's like, oh, I had this idea. | ||
I'm going to work on this thing that's going to lead to a quantum computer that's going to lead to a thing to a thing. | ||
And then all of a sudden the quantum computer starts giving ideas about, well, why don't you try this? | ||
And then who fucking came up with that? | ||
And then, you know what I mean? | ||
unidentified
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Ha ha ha ha! | |
And that's the last phase before the veil lifts, and boom, that's the singularity. | ||
We didn't make the singularity. | ||
We're a reflection of it. | ||
That's just when this particular zone or node or whatever you want to call it, it gets opened for business, so to speak. | ||
Well, if it wanted to prepare us for abandoning life as usual, this would be a good way to start it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Started with a little pandemic. | ||
Lock everybody inside for a little bit. | ||
Complete upending of all that's normal in terms of society. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
I mean, that's the... | ||
That is the... | ||
And, you know, I was driving over, I'm like, I want to talk about all the different conspiracies about it with Rogan, but I don't want to either. | ||
What kind of conspiracies? | ||
About the pandemic? | ||
Yeah. | ||
What are the conspiracies you're hearing other than 5G? 5G, Comet Impact. | ||
Comet Impact? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I haven't heard that one. | ||
Well, you're definitely not my wife. | ||
I've mentioned it so many times to my wife. | ||
She's like, Duncan, please. | ||
Isn't there one that was supposed to fly by? | ||
Like, there's a meteor that's supposed to fly by in the next... | ||
Short amount of time. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, check out Reddit Conspiracy. | ||
My conspiracy friends, I'm not even going to attempt to give the download on it, because, like, y'all have done a pretty good job of putting all the pieces together out there. | ||
Whether they're real or not, I don't fucking know, but I enjoy reading them late at night. | ||
And they've been giving me terrible dreams. | ||
But the asteroid theory is that... | ||
Okay, so... | ||
We want to have, by we, I mean they want to have maximum survivability for the planet. | ||
They're not out to like, they don't want people to die. | ||
They're not trying to, it's not a bioengineered thing that's designed to like cull the population, which is another of the theories. | ||
But rather, there was a plan, which is like, what's our plan if we do see a meteor is going to impact? | ||
The planet. | ||
What's our plan? | ||
Do we let people know that the meteor is going to impact? | ||
Well, it depends. | ||
Like if an astronomer that's not connected to one of our labs or whatever sees it, they're going to let people know. | ||
And then, you know, so that's a whole different, I think, method of like reacting. | ||
But what if we see a thing that they don't know about? | ||
There's some probability, even a 20% chance the thing impacts the Earth, right? | ||
Or there's some cosmic event maybe we're not even aware of, like the Sun doing some weird shit that we don't even know happens because it's like deep data, right? | ||
So maybe it's not an asteroid. | ||
It's a cosmic event that's approaching, right? | ||
And so there's got to be a plan. | ||
And it's like, well, if we just tell people that the Sun's going to do like a mile blip, which is going to destroy all... | ||
Satellites and destroy all GPS and just that alone would cause runs on the bank mass panics like in people would start looting and shit and that's not you don't want that because ideas like we want them to hole up in their houses till the shit passes so we get maximum survivability and so the whole pandemic this is a conspiracy theory not real the whole pandemic was A plan to get people to go inside, | ||
store up food, get them off the roads, and wait for whatever this event is to pass. | ||
And as soon as the event passes, you'll find that all of a sudden it's like, what do you know? | ||
The curves are all dropping off. | ||
What do you know? | ||
And then we'll all be back because the thing they were worried about didn't happen. | ||
Also, it could be a test. | ||
For that. | ||
Can I just stop you? | ||
Please stop me. | ||
It's hard to believe. | ||
Thank you. | ||
There's a real virus. | ||
They can image it. | ||
But I know what it looks like. | ||
They've been able to test for it. | ||
Antibodies. | ||
I feel like I'm talking to my wife. | ||
It's a real virus. | ||
It's a confusing virus. | ||
It's so good that I married the person I married because if not, I would probably be digging a hole to crawl into out of pure paranoia because she does do this to me. | ||
She's like, Duncan, do you think there isn't a COVID virus? | ||
You think there's no virus out there? | ||
Do you think that maybe... | ||
So all the scientists that have identified COVID are all part of this thing to keep us from the meteor thing? | ||
And then I'm like, yeah, thank you! | ||
Because I'll start getting freaked out from it, but I'll answer your question. | ||
If I had to answer that, I would say, oh no, it's real. | ||
How many people have died from it now? | ||
What is the current COVID death count? | ||
It crossed 50,000 today, this morning. | ||
50,000? | ||
Here's something that I found out that's kind of odd. | ||
If you die of something else, people are still dying, right? | ||
They're still dying of high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks, still killing more people than anything, right? | ||
COVID, you get listed as a COVID death. | ||
So even if you're going to die of a heart attack, I mean, the people are still dying, right? | ||
Same amount of people, other than traffic accidents, which I think has diminished quite a bit because no one's driving. | ||
But the same, those people are going to die still. | ||
It's not like they live forever without the COVID. | ||
It's not like they don't get the flu. | ||
It's not like they don't get a cold. | ||
It's not like they don't get pneumonia. | ||
All these things exist with or without COVID. People are still dying from them. | ||
But if you die of one of those things and you have COVID, it's a COVID death. | ||
So that's why it's so crazy. | ||
It's like you don't really know what... | ||
How many people are actually getting this thing, this COVID, and having a mild reaction? | ||
How many people are having no reaction? | ||
How many people are dying? | ||
That's when they did that new UCLA study that came out that showed they think there's way more people that have been. | ||
They think California alone is somewhere around 400,000 people getting infected. | ||
And so the fatality rate is still pretty low. | ||
But if that's the case, so what do we do? | ||
We just let Let people die? | ||
Or do we do this every time the flu comes around too now? | ||
What if we get a particularly rough flu? | ||
Is this a practice run for what we're going to do every time colds come through? | ||
And they start killing old people? | ||
Or killing sick people? | ||
Or fat people? | ||
When do we... | ||
I mean, I wouldn't want to be the person that makes the call as to when people go back to work. | ||
Because what if the second wave comes and a bunch of people die that didn't have to die? | ||
But boy, if we set up a weird precedent. | ||
You know, it's kind of weird. | ||
We've shut everything down. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
I mean, well, to me... | ||
The part that makes sense is... | ||
Well, we stopped the spread. | ||
Well, also, the other thing is it's new. | ||
I mean, there are coronaviruses. | ||
We don't know what it is. | ||
So we have the data on the flu. | ||
We have the data on the cold. | ||
We know how to treat the cold. | ||
We know how to treat the flu. | ||
But this fucking thing, we don't know what it is. | ||
And there's conflicting data, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So I kind of get the like super, super, super intense, careful approach to it. | ||
And I think if I had to make the decision, that would be the decision that I made. | ||
But then also I hope whoever – and thank God people like us don't make those decisions. | ||
Thank God. | ||
But hopefully whoever's like making these decisions is aware of the fact – That like right now there's folks who are getting Meals on Wheels. | ||
There's folks who are like on unemployment and lost their job and like I hope they're aware of the fact that like, and I'm sure they are, that the pressure of folks who are in this That horrendous economic position, the pressure on them at some point is going to exceed the humanity and compassion and empathy they're showing by not being in the demographic that's most likely to die and still staying inside, losing their job. | ||
That's love, man. | ||
That's deep compassion because you don't want someone's granddad to suffocate on some new fucking Bat flu, right? | ||
That's love and that's beautiful. | ||
But at some point, that pressure is, people are going to be like, look, I don't want to kill anybody, I don't want to be a carrier, I don't ever want to hurt anybody, but my kid has got to have food. | ||
And I have to work. | ||
And, you know, and then I think somewhere there, hopefully by then there's at least a treatment they've discovered, or at least we get to a point where they've, you know, where maybe what's happening in Sweden, we get enough data on that to realize that there's other ways to do it that don't involve complete lockdown. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What they did was they sort of left everything open, but they all behaved as if there's the potential of contacting or transmitting, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like they didn't wear masks, right? | ||
It doesn't look like they're wearing masks. | ||
It looks like they're... | ||
They didn't close everything down. | ||
They didn't close everything down. | ||
They used to go to restaurants and pubs. | ||
And is their death rate similar? | ||
Well, the thing I saw was like... | ||
If you look at nearby countries, the death rate is lower. | ||
But weirdly, countries that were doing complete lockdowns have higher death rates than they do. | ||
And, you know, look, the problem is that you have this glob of data that anyone can interpret. | ||
And there's probably angles you can take on it that would show, look, yeah. | ||
Yeah, there's a higher death rate, of course, in Sweden, because it's going to spread more if people aren't staying inside. | ||
I mean, that seems pretty logical to me. | ||
But then also, if you're showing some conflicting data where some other country in complete lockdown with a similar population or somehow equating their population with Sweden's population, if they're... | ||
If they've got a higher death rate, then that's fucking terrifying, man, because the implication of it is like we really don't understand what this is. | ||
There's other factors, too. | ||
One big one in Sweden is not a dense population. | ||
I don't think there's that many people in the entire country. | ||
It's a very small place. | ||
That's right. | ||
How many people live in Sweden? | ||
I think I looked this up the other day. | ||
I think most of the people live in small villages of like less than 200. Yeah. | ||
There you go. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So, you know, they probably don't travel that much or interact with each other that much. | ||
They have plenty of space. | ||
They don't travel that much. | ||
I mean, tight together, I mean. | ||
10.23 million for the entire country. | ||
By the way, it's great. | ||
I've been to Stockholm. | ||
It was gorgeous. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
We did a show there, too. | ||
They were really nice. | ||
I enjoyed it very much. | ||
Very, very friendly people. | ||
But, you know, they have a lot of space. | ||
They're not New York City. | ||
New York City seems to be the epicenter in the United States, and for good reason. | ||
Everyone's stacked on top of each other. | ||
Everyone's interacting with each other on the streets, on the subways. | ||
Moving around. | ||
You gotta go to places. | ||
There's fucking people everywhere. | ||
They're everywhere. | ||
Everywhere. | ||
That, I think, is a terrible way to live. | ||
Dude, I fucking love New York so much. | ||
When I went there, it was so nice. | ||
But yeah, it's nice to be on the West Coast. | ||
And especially right now, Jamie was, you know, talking about like, think of the people right now in New York who are just in, you know, alone in an apartment, seeing the news that apparently spreads through like air conditioning ducts. | ||
It's like, you know what I mean? | ||
That's terrifying. | ||
But, you know, again, I My opinion on it, in my old age, it has to be my opinion on things. | ||
I'm going to trust scientists. | ||
I'm just going to. | ||
I didn't go to medical school. | ||
I don't understand what the fuck a virus even is. | ||
I don't remember. | ||
I've been trying to remember. | ||
I'm too lazy to Google how it works. | ||
I know it gets into your DNA. It replaces it. | ||
What I'm saying is... | ||
Suggesting some kind of surrender to authority out of absolute weakness. | ||
But if a large consensus of scientists are advising some specific method of dealing with this thing, let's listen to them, you know? | ||
And then just make sure that... | ||
I feel bad for, like, I have a friend in Georgia right now. | ||
And like right now, he's become part of an experiment, a global experiment. | ||
They're opening up Georgia right now. | ||
And every state that opens up right now becomes an experiment. | ||
We're going to get a lot of data from what happens from all these states opening up right now regarding the efficacy of a shutdown like we have right now. | ||
And it could be that all of a sudden we realized we overreacted. | ||
And you know what? | ||
I'd much rather overreact than underreact in situations like this. | ||
It's like, fuck, we overreacted. | ||
Whoops. | ||
Yeah, we thought there was the potential to think of mutate and kill fuck tons of people, way more than the flu, and we were wrong. | ||
And it fucked up the economy. | ||
But it's a lot better than what would have happened if it was some new smallpox or black plague. | ||
Also, look, it killed 50,000 people, right? | ||
What if we did nothing? | ||
Would it have killed like 400,000? | ||
Exactly. | ||
I mean, that could have happened. | ||
I mean, it could have compounded. | ||
It seems like for whatever reason, these places where people are stacked on top of each other, not only do they get it, but they get it way worse. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It seems like, what's that expression? | ||
Viral load, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like the viral load is greater. | ||
And if you're around a bunch of sick people, there was one awful story about this family in New Jersey. | ||
And like the mother died and the oldest son died and the middle son died. | ||
Like three people died from one family vacation or one family dinner. | ||
They got together and one of them had it and just spread through the fucking house. | ||
It's not the flu. | ||
You know, it's obviously, it's something way more intense. | ||
But the people that have survived the flu, they'll probably survive that too. | ||
But the people that, you know, were kind of hanging on edge, it seems like anybody with a respiratory problem is in deep shit. | ||
Anybody who smokes is in deep shit. | ||
People with high blood pressure, diabetes, deep shit. | ||
It's not the same with everybody. | ||
Other people, like Idris Elba walks it off. | ||
You know, healthy. | ||
I know. | ||
But he has asthma, apparently. | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Yeah, he had asthma, but he didn't, you know, there's a lot of people that, I don't, that Chris Cuomo guy seems fine. | ||
I know he says he gets chills, but he seems fine. | ||
He seems rattled, though. | ||
You know, I've got, I've got, not in a bad way, yeah, exactly, like I didn't, that was one, watching him. | ||
Was one of the things that was legitimately creeping me out is like as you're watching him and he did a great job holding it together, man. | ||
He didn't panic and he like put something out there that was like comforting to some degree. | ||
But, you know, I was scanning his eyes and there were moments where I'm like, fuck, he's rattled. | ||
Like whatever's happening to him at night is bad, bad. | ||
Why is it happening at night? | ||
What is the difference? | ||
I don't understand that. | ||
If you look fine in the day, how come at night, all of a sudden, everything's all fucked up? | ||
Don't ask me, man. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I've noticed, though, sometimes if I get sick, night is always worse than the day. | ||
I don't know why. | ||
I don't know, man. | ||
Whatever the fuck it is, to me, the part that really sucks... | ||
I got friends who are immunocompromised, man. | ||
And that means that they really will if they get it. | ||
It's game over. | ||
Fuck, it sucks. | ||
And so there's that quality to it, too, where you're like... | ||
Statistically, I don't know where I'm at. | ||
Statistically, I think I'm on the cusp. | ||
All of us have friends that are dead meat if this thing were to explode. | ||
So fuck it. | ||
I get staying inside, man. | ||
I just know that eventually... | ||
My brother was telling me every day, his neighbor... | ||
My brother works from home. | ||
He's a video editor every day and a producer every day. | ||
He sees people are getting food deliveries because they can't from the state. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I'm just glad I don't have to... | ||
I'm glad I don't have to be the one who makes decisions like this because that must be a weird thing to be in a position where any decision you make kills people. | ||
Like, if you make the decision to open up, people are gonna, you know, die because they're gonna get sick. | ||
If you don't make this decision to open up, there's a potential that, you know, just think of the mentally ill people right now. | ||
No one's talking about that. | ||
Like, I keep thinking of like the manic depressive people, the people who are already depressed, who now can't go outside, but are also getting blasted with apocalypse news. | ||
I don't know what suicide rates are looking like right now, but like, you know what I mean? | ||
So it's the decision to keep people shut down. | ||
You know, what might result from that, those deaths might be secondary or tertiary or some shit. | ||
But still, it's like, it just sucks to have to be in a position where you have to make those decisions. | ||
And it's like, how awful to know. | ||
It's just, it's like, brutal. | ||
I feel terrible for them. | ||
You know, anyone who's like, because I don't, you know... | ||
I don't know what they're going to do either. | ||
I mean, they're going to have to eventually assume... | ||
The position that we're gonna have to slowly open up and start, you know, restaurants at half capacity and shit like that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But when? | ||
You know, I mean, they've said May 15th here. | ||
That seems like an awful long time. | ||
I know. | ||
It's an awful long time to ask people to keep it together that don't have any money. | ||
It's an awful long time. | ||
It's an awful, awful long time. | ||
It doesn't seem like the best idea either. | ||
It seems like the best idea would be to quarantine all the people that are very vulnerable, to make sure that they quarantine and make sure that people who know them are aware, you know, do not, you know, touch them or touch anything around them. | ||
If you could have potentially been in contact with something because they're immunocompromised. | ||
That seems like the move. | ||
The move seems like to quarantine the people, at this point at least, to self-quarantine, you know, tell them to quarantine people that are really vulnerable, older people, people with, you know, people that smoke, people with respiratory conditions. | ||
Be aware that you're vulnerable, you know, and then you act accordingly. | ||
But everybody else, we need to... | ||
At some point in time, whether it's this week or next week or three weeks from now, when they think it is, May 15th, right? | ||
That's like three weeks from now. | ||
They're gonna have to open the doors. | ||
And when they open the doors, people are gonna be starving. | ||
They're gonna be starving. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
You know, they haven't worked. | ||
There's so many people that are so behind their debts. | ||
They're getting, you know, debt collectors are still wanting their money. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Especially if they had loans or, you know, anything that was outstanding before all this happened. | ||
They're already in debt. | ||
Trying to work their way out of a hole and they can't even work. | ||
This is the only time we've ever been in a position where people can't even go to work. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What do you... | ||
Okay, so I've heard like three ideas regarding what to do. | ||
One of them is like incredibly controversial. | ||
I wonder what you think about it, which is like using the same data that they use in like What's it called those chips? | ||
South Korea? | ||
Yeah, no the chips you can put on yeah, it's Bluetooth So it's it's essentially like tracking and alerting you if you've come in contact with someone who has it I don't what do you think about that? | ||
I don't trust anyone to have all that data and only use it for that, right? | ||
There's no way. | ||
That data would be so valuable if everyone had a chip. | ||
And everyone was tracked. | ||
You knew where everyone was all throughout the day. | ||
Oh, you're only going to use that to see who's got coronavirus? | ||
Really? | ||
Get the fuck out of here. | ||
Once that technology exists, it's not like they're going to murder it at the end of the fucking season. | ||
Well, we've got no more COVID, so let's just stop all this technology. | ||
No chance. | ||
They'll find a new reason to use it. | ||
They'll be able to track the flu. | ||
They'll be able to track adulterers. | ||
They'll be able to track robbers. | ||
They'll be able to track carjackers. | ||
They'll be able to track... | ||
You name it, man. | ||
You name it. | ||
These are the right-wing activists that like to yell at abortion clinics. | ||
Let's track them. | ||
Now a Republican gets in office, hey, these are the people that are the fucking animal rights activists that always get in front of the meat plant. | ||
Let's track them. | ||
You can't track people. | ||
And they're already doing it anyway. | ||
You talk to Snowden, they're already tracking you by your goddamn phone. | ||
But I like the fact that I could take this phone and chuck it in the fucking river. | ||
I could just chuck it. | ||
I'd throw it in the ocean. | ||
No, I wouldn't even do that. | ||
I'm environmentally conscious. | ||
No matter what you say, someone's gonna be like, you bastard. | ||
But I wouldn't. | ||
I really feel strongly about that. | ||
I would never litter like that. | ||
But point is, I can get rid of that fucking following. | ||
It's not a part of my body. | ||
Once they're injecting, I've talked about this way too many podcasts in a row, but there's a company that had these people inject a microchip in their arm and they could wave it in front of the soda machine and get fucking snacks with it and shit. | ||
It was like your tab was on your arm. | ||
Mike's here, open the door. | ||
It unlocks the door. | ||
Get the fuck out of here. | ||
And we were saying, what if that company fires you? | ||
What if Chipotle fires you and you got that Chipotle chip in your arm? | ||
But I was management! | ||
It's not a regular Chipotle chip! | ||
You imagine? | ||
You imagine? | ||
And now you have to work for fucking 7up, and 7up's like, we're going to have to cut your arm off. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because it keeps registering that you're a Chipotle invader. | ||
You know you- 10 chips in your arm, because you worked at- Right. | ||
Just kept getting a new job area. | ||
Just keep getting new chips. | ||
Mike, why don't you get those chips removed? | ||
I like them. | ||
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They remind me I've had a hard life and a lot of good jobs. | |
Oh, God! | ||
All these chips all around his arm. | ||
I'm proud of my chips! | ||
That's the way I've always been. | ||
Always been a hard worker. | ||
Oh, I earned these chips. | ||
I earned all these chips. | ||
Every single one of these chips means... | ||
You know, also, when you combine those chips with augmented reality so that you could have a visual floating around them as, like, the mascot of the various companies they work for. | ||
Or, like, you know, like, let's say we do get the chip, right? | ||
The chip exists, and we all just somehow decide, like, yeah, well... | ||
Let's just do it. | ||
I mean, fuck the whole book of revelations. | ||
That's just the whole bullshit. | ||
The whole mark of the beast. | ||
I'm not going to pay any attention. | ||
Let's get the chip. | ||
That was just some old ancient bullshit. | ||
Alright, come on. | ||
I want to get sodas without having to pull out my fucking wallet. | ||
It sucks. | ||
I'm sick of it. | ||
I'm exhausted all day from this activity. | ||
But we all get the chips. | ||
And then what happens is... | ||
And of course it would start off with a decision to make. | ||
What data in the chip do you want people to be able to see with augmented reality? | ||
And so this is where you run into what I think the future is going to look like with this shit. | ||
It's like when you're walking around in your company and you're Employee of the Month and everybody's wearing augmented reality goggles, you're going to have some kind of Employee of the Month halo around you. | ||
So everybody's aware that you made the most sales, you know? | ||
It's going to be like that for like, you know, it's going to be brutal as far as, let's say, credit scores go, right? | ||
Because if you've got a great credit score and you want to indicate to the world that if you want to Get into debt. | ||
You can, baby, because you've got a great credit score. | ||
You're going to have this glowing shit around you. | ||
And the moment one person decides to reveal that, everybody's going to feel like they have to reveal it. | ||
And if you see someone who doesn't have the good credit score crown or whatever, like the banner of great credit floating in front of them, you're like, yeah, you're probably fucked, right? | ||
Like you made some bad decisions. | ||
You'll see someone who's got a lot of shit. | ||
Nice car, really nice clothes. | ||
But you'll be like, yeah, but you know, he doesn't have the glowing medallion of good credit on his AR self, so I don't know if he really owns any of that stuff, you know? | ||
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Right. | |
And you know what I mean? | ||
Then there's going to be all forms of that, which leads to venereal disease. | ||
You could go into a bar, and if you just got tested, and you're clean, so to speak, then maybe there's a little AR Clean angel that flies around your head like, he doesn't have herpes! | ||
We can bear back! | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Those bits of data that if you don't show them... | ||
There's some reason to be suspicious. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
You walk up to someone, they have no data. | ||
They're just blank. | ||
You'd be terrified. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You're just a person. | ||
Who are you? | ||
I'm just supposed to trust you. | ||
Yeah, fuck that. | ||
You could be a serial killer. | ||
Fuck that. | ||
We're gonna look back on times when we just would meet people like this and not have some halo to go by. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like if I see Jamie, Jamie would have like a nice golden glow. | ||
I'd be like, look at him. | ||
He's got a high approval rating. | ||
He's got some cash. | ||
That's a good catch. | ||
Yeah, there you go. | ||
If you go to a nightclub, all the dudes who are glowing gold, people would be like, oh, and girls would like purple credit scores. | ||
They'd come in, try to get close to the guys in the gold, try to get a little of that gold on them, clean up that credit. | ||
Yeah, yeah, man. | ||
Imagine if you knew, like if a girl was really hot, but you look at her credit card, oh my god, bank fraud. | ||
Look at her. | ||
She's a bank frauder. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You don't get that gray outline unless you do bank fraud. | ||
That's right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And there's no way to get it off. | ||
Can you imagine? | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's going to be big arguments about that where it's like, you know, currently, if you're a registered sex offender... | ||
We know where you fucking live. | ||
And I get it, man. | ||
Like, that's good. | ||
That's good. | ||
But then it's going to be like, okay, but do we put that in their augmented reality chip profile so that anywhere they go, people are seeing that this is a person that hurts kids, you know? | ||
And there's going to be a conversation about that where people are like, fuck yeah, that's what you do. | ||
Like, I want to know if some weirdo is getting anywhere close to my kid. | ||
Anyway, that's the slippery slope that leads to the dystopian Black Mirror future and that great episode where there was... | ||
And I think they are doing it in China. | ||
They're doing it in China. | ||
They have a legit social score in China. | ||
This is a real concern if this technology does get released in time and people start using their COVID tests and putting it on their QR code, that little thing that you do with the photo, and it scans you like a plane ticket. | ||
You know, like, oh, you're good, Duncan. | ||
Seems like you're good. | ||
Make sure you keep that phone on you everywhere you go. | ||
No problem, officer. | ||
You know, Duncan, we got a... | ||
Email the other day, it shows that you have been going, I don't know who has this data, but you've been going down to San Clemente during the lockdown? | ||
Yeah. | ||
To stay with friends? | ||
No, there's a glory hole there that I like. | ||
This is not allowed. | ||
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What? | |
You're traveling. | ||
Like, see, what if we do this? | ||
What if we go into this scanning thing and then a new pandemic pops up and we go into lockdown again? | ||
They're going to be able to find the people that aren't locking down. | ||
What if you got to drive somewhere in the middle of the night to go get something? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Something important for your family? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, all of a sudden, you're being tracked, and then they call you. | ||
Duncan, where are you going? | ||
Where are you going? | ||
We are looking at you right now. | ||
You're in San Clemente. | ||
You don't live in San Clemente. | ||
Why are you down there? | ||
Yeah. | ||
But I, you know, just freedom? | ||
I want to drive around? | ||
I don't know. | ||
This is a lockdown. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's a new flu. | ||
Go back home, Duncan. | ||
You wanna kill people? | ||
It's a weird power to give people. | ||
The power to have a mayor tell you what you can do. | ||
That's never happened before. | ||
I'm not saying they're doing it because of that. | ||
I know why they're doing it. | ||
They're doing it to save lives. | ||
I'm 100% for it. | ||
Don't get me wrong here. | ||
But still, that power that anybody has to say, you can't work, you gotta stay home, you can't go to the park, you can't go to the beach, That power's weird. | ||
That's a lot of power, man. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, to be the person. | ||
Gavin, may we open? | ||
Not yet! | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Not yet! | ||
But what if they social distance? | ||
I mean, they need to make money. | ||
Yeah. | ||
We need to save lives. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It sucks. | ||
Yeah, this is no good answer. | ||
It's a shit job, man. | ||
It's like the shittiest. | ||
That's the shittiest job because it's like no decision you make is going to make everybody happy. | ||
Any decision you make is going to ruin someone's life, maybe kill them. | ||
And so, yeah, all these people- Also, no one thought that was going to be a part of the job. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, you didn't think that. | ||
You thought you were going to deal with like... | ||
Yeah, Gavin wasn't like... | ||
He didn't know that when he got in there, he was suddenly going to be potentially one of the war leaders in Mad Max. | ||
He didn't understand that was going to be his world. | ||
Dude, this is how poorly they thought this through. | ||
Garcetti is giving people money to snitch. | ||
They're giving people money to snitch on social distance violators. | ||
What? | ||
Yeah, say if you go over to your buddy Mike's house for a barbecue, there's eight people in that backyard, Helen. | ||
Look! | ||
That's fucked up. | ||
Eight fucking people! | ||
We're over here social distancing! | ||
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That cunt Duncan Trussell is over at Mike's house, barbecuing! | |
Drinking beers, probably wife swapping! | ||
Pigs! | ||
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Wife swapping! | |
Then gasp! | ||
Garcetti comes along and offers people money to rat you out. | ||
How much did they get? | ||
I was wondering if they've even done that yet. | ||
It can't be real. | ||
I saw that and just thought that's not real. | ||
It was real. | ||
They were offering people rewards. | ||
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What? | |
To rat out social distance violators. | ||
Disgusting. | ||
How you don't know that leads to Maoist China and fucking Stalinist Russia? | ||
How you don't know that getting people to rat on people leads to North Korea? | ||
I'm not saying we're gonna be in North Korea, but that kind of shit, that's where that comes from. | ||
That's how it starts. | ||
You can't pay people to rat people out, you fucking asshole. | ||
What a shitty, poorly thought out idea that is. | ||
No shit, man. | ||
I saw something popped up on my Instagram. | ||
Some company saying if you're aware that your bosses are violating software, like don't have licensed software, We'll give you a reward. | ||
Inviting people, disgruntled employees who know that their boss is running stolen photoshop or whatever, to make a little money and fuck their boss over. | ||
That invitation to snitch, that is a satanic invitation, man. | ||
I don't care what level it's at like in general unless you're looking at like hardcore Snowden level whistleblower like you've been down in the deep underground military bases and you saw the fucking thing in the egg that could read your mind and you're like I can't keep it to myself! | ||
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I'm gonna fucking tell people! | |
You know, I get that, but like any other versions of it, yeah, fuck that. | ||
Don't invite us to snitch. | ||
Don't encourage that behavior. | ||
There's better ways to do it, I'm sure, than like bounties on your fucking neighbors. | ||
That's fucked up, man. | ||
So fucked up. | ||
It's just so fucked up that someone who would get as high as mayor of Los Angeles Would let an idea like that slip through the cracks. | ||
Like, what fucking fascist do you have working in that office that, like, I got an idea! | ||
Pay people to rat people out! | ||
These fucks, they haven't been working! | ||
They need money for masks! | ||
Yeah, that's it. | ||
What is it? | ||
He did say snitches get rewards, but he said it's the opposite of snitches get stitches. | ||
I can't find anything... | ||
Oh, no, they'll definitely get stitches. | ||
I can't find anything saying, like, they get 50 bucks, 100 bucks, this is the reward you get. | ||
He might be like... | ||
The opposite of snitches get stitches. | ||
As if they're not still snitches, and as if snitches don't still get stitches. | ||
Right. | ||
What are you talking about? | ||
Are you going to absolutely... | ||
Make sure that these people don't get beat up for being snitches. | ||
You're going to step in with cops, give them 24-hour security guards. | ||
If you find out that your neighbor ratted you out for money, oh my god, you'd want to kill him. | ||
It would be like, what happened to that dude? | ||
What's his face? | ||
Ron Paul's kid? | ||
You know what I'm talking about? | ||
No. | ||
The congressman who got tackled? | ||
Oh, that's right. | ||
Rand Paul. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Rand Paul, his neighbor, was like, fuck you! | ||
Just out of nowhere tackles him, smashes his ribs. | ||
He lost a piece of his lung. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
That's fucked up. | ||
And it's like, because what you're asking for there, which is another thing that I think the state, anytime anyone starts doing this, then you really have to start thinking about who you voted for. | ||
But like, because the idea is like, I love it when... | ||
You know, and I'm cheesy, and I am a fucking hippie, and I get accused of stoner talking shit, but yeah, I want there to be world peace, and I want people to love each other. | ||
And when I see, you know, any even the slightest thing that like transcends political divides, We're like, you know, people who've hated fucking Trump and people Trump have hated. | ||
I saw something where like, I can't remember who it was. | ||
Like, God, what's the name of the Mormon politician that was running for president against Trump? | ||
Mitt Romney? | ||
Romney! | ||
So some dude Like, voted against releasing money to people who don't have jobs. | ||
And Mitt Romney tweeted, well, that senator, whoever he was, tested positive for being an asshole. | ||
And Mitt Romney said that! | ||
And fucking, you know, and then, like, there was this just flickering moment where Trump retweets that or says something about it and says, like, I didn't know he had that sense of humor, but I liked it. | ||
And, like... | ||
For that one stupid moment, there's a second where it's like, that's, we're supposed to be on the same team! | ||
And like, you know, that's not a political statement. | ||
That's like a statement of survivability. | ||
And when you have a fucking, when you have a, and again, I'm not saying bow down to the state or anything like that either. | ||
That's the opposite of what I'm saying. | ||
I'm not saying, therefore, we all gotta be on the side of the president! | ||
None of that shit. | ||
I'm not saying any of that shit, man. | ||
So don't take this the wrong way, because that's not what I'm saying. | ||
I get it. | ||
What I'm saying is, when anything that divides one neighbor from the next, anything that invites neighbors to divide instead of unite, is cancerous, literally, for society, in the sense that what's going to start happening is the... | ||
The pixel of society is the neighbors. | ||
That's like the connection between your neighbors makes up the tapestry of the entire country. | ||
And that connection, if it's broken or weird or fucked up, then that's fucking everything up. | ||
And so to invite that, invite anything that fucks that up. | ||
Is, to me, really, really long-term disastrous. | ||
It's like, the idea would be like, hey, is your neighbor an old person? | ||
Go find out if your neighbor's an old person and can't get food. | ||
And if they are and you get food to them, we'll pay for it. | ||
How about that? | ||
Yes. | ||
That's beautiful! | ||
You know someone who's fucked up right now, let us know so we can make sure their kids aren't starving. | ||
Man, what about the fucking kids whose parents are right now super fucking sick with this shit? | ||
We need governors and we need people saying, you need to know where the kids are in the building whose parents are sick. | ||
So we can make sure those kids are getting taken care of while their parents are in bed and shit. | ||
Like, so, fuck that. | ||
That is what people get rewards for. | ||
Why don't we have a way of monetizing kindness and acts of, like, grace to your neighbors instead of monetizing, like, you becoming, like, literally what is one... | ||
A universally derided thing, which is a snitch. | ||
You don't want to be a snitch. | ||
Fuck snitches get stitches. | ||
Maybe they don't get stitches, but man, I'll tell you, when you die, Wouldn't want to be you. | ||
Wouldn't want to be a snitch in the afterlife. | ||
I'll tell you that, man. | ||
You get devoured by spirit wolves. | ||
Spirit wolves? | ||
I'm sure. | ||
You don't get the experience of seeing your mom come running to you with a bowl of soup. | ||
It's your mom. | ||
She comes running to you and you think it's a bowl of soup, but you look and it's your wife's head. | ||
And then you look back up. | ||
It's a spirit wolf. | ||
It's like, so you thought it was smart to snitch in that dimension, huh? | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
Nah. | ||
Nah. | ||
It eats your soul forever. | ||
Yeah, maybe. | ||
Just don't snitch. | ||
That's fucked up. | ||
Well, it's just ridiculous that someone in a position of real leadership, right? | ||
You're the mayor of a huge city. | ||
And you would think that that would be a good idea. | ||
Listen, people are going to snitch on people anyway. | ||
But to encourage them with financial reward is crazy. | ||
Crazy. | ||
It is crazy. | ||
And it's so poorly thought out. | ||
Yeah, that's a dumb idea to put out there. | ||
Such a poor understanding of human nature. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, you don't know where this goes? | ||
Yeah. | ||
And also, in a time of great duress, you're encouraging people to snitch? | ||
Yeah. | ||
This is absolutely the time we've got to be encouraging camaraderie. | ||
Yeah. | ||
This is when things are weird. | ||
Everybody's forced into the same position. | ||
No one can do what they want. | ||
When was the last time you were on stage? | ||
I haven't been on stage in a month. | ||
I've been doing private shows for my son. | ||
Literally, our job has stopped and our job might not come back until January. | ||
Yeah, that's right. | ||
Maybe. | ||
Who knows? | ||
Who knows? | ||
We don't know. | ||
I've got some gigs booked and I don't know if I'm going to be able to do them. | ||
I got a gig booked in September. | ||
I got two in September. | ||
I got a couple in October. | ||
I got Octobers. | ||
But it's like, also, it's not like you should be, like, you can't really promote the show right now without seeming like a blazing dick. | ||
I don't want to encourage people to go out. | ||
And it's like, yeah, that's the problem, man. | ||
But, here's the thing. | ||
Whatever the state is doing, the state's going to do. | ||
This is my favorite Jesus saying. | ||
Offer unto Caesar what is Caesar's. | ||
Which is like, you know, there's a game going on here with power. | ||
And if you think you're going to subvert that game, maybe, probably not. | ||
Best thing to do, let the dragon do whatever the fuck the dragon's going to do. | ||
But don't let them cause you to forget that you don't need... | ||
The state to go over to leave a note on your neighbor's door asking if they're okay. | ||
We don't need the mechanisms of some bureaucracy to pick up trash. | ||
That was the thing that happened when the fucking national parks all got defunded because of this bullshit. | ||
All of a sudden, people were taking pictures of garbage in the national parks, right? | ||
And the implication of that is We can't clean this up ourselves. | ||
We need a state official to come and pick the trash up. | ||
And it's nice that they do that, and we pay taxes for that, and they should do that. | ||
But if they're not doing it, and we're waiting for some hero from the state to come in and fix our fucking problems, That's lazy. | ||
That's bad thinking. | ||
I think as a people, the idea is more to transcend that addiction to being saved. | ||
That addiction that for sure someone's coming. | ||
Sometimes they come. | ||
Right. | ||
But sometimes they don't. | ||
And that's no reason to put off just the basic shit, man. | ||
We put out sometimes in front of our house. | ||
We'll just put out shit to give to people. | ||
We've got fruit trees. | ||
There's fruit. | ||
The garden's got some shit growing in it. | ||
I'll put it out there. | ||
And people take every bit of it. | ||
You come back at the end of the day, it's, you know, we've got flowers. | ||
So cut some flowers and just leave flowers out there in case someone wants to bring a flower to somebody. | ||
It's an act of trust because you don't know what, I might be covered in like COVID mucus doing like, rose for my neighbors! | ||
But that being said, I don't know, maybe they're desanitizing, but my point is, like, cool shit happens. | ||
Sometimes you go out to that box and, like, they've replaced something. | ||
Like, we gave flowers away, we came out, and then someone had put different kinds of flowers in the box for those flowers. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Sounds like you got a stalker. | ||
Yeah, actually, now that I think about it, the flowers... | ||
You know, it did seem like there was something like sticky and creamy on the flowers. | ||
But, you know, I'm saying like, again, this to me, not getting too much in the macro, because I'll go insane if I get in the macro, getting into the micro, which is your direct, literally your direct neighbors, and like making some connection with them. | ||
You know, like the guy who lives across the street, we talked for like two minutes and it was wonderful. | ||
And he's like, if you need tools, just let me know. | ||
I got a ton of tools. | ||
Just you can like, you know, message me and I'll come and leave them here and you can come and get them. | ||
Shit like that. | ||
That's nice. | ||
It's cool. | ||
And it's like, it's just beautiful. | ||
It's like, that's what it's supposed to be like. | ||
Yeah, that's nice. | ||
You got a good neighbor. | ||
That's it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Having good neighbors is everything. | ||
Everything. | ||
People that hate their neighbors, like, man, you should just move. | ||
Save yourself some agony. | ||
Yeah, well, you can't sometimes. | ||
That's the problem. | ||
But we all need... | ||
We talked about this before. | ||
We need to find a cul-de-sac and all buy houses there. | ||
You mean the cult? | ||
Yes. | ||
I know. | ||
You think a ranch would do the trick? | ||
It's tough to get people to live on a ranch. | ||
No, I think... | ||
I know what you're talking about. | ||
It's not that hard. | ||
I think the way you do it is in phases, right? | ||
So the first thing would be just get the land, right? | ||
Hire an architect. | ||
Yeah, hire an architect. | ||
Bring in Alex Gray. | ||
That thing that he did in upstate New York. | ||
It's beautiful. | ||
Have you been there personally? | ||
I've been there. | ||
Unfortunately, I haven't been there since its completion. | ||
I don't even know if it's completed, but I've been there in the early phases. | ||
And yeah, that for sure is a temple. | ||
It's no joke. | ||
It's not like they're just saying it's a temple. | ||
That's a real... | ||
And the way he printed those weird faces, those multi-feature faces and used them in the corners of the building. | ||
What does he call it again? | ||
I can't remember. | ||
I'm sorry. | ||
Cosm. | ||
Oh, Cosm. | ||
I thought you meant what he called those faces. | ||
He has a name for the faces, too. | ||
Is that the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors? | ||
Is that what it sounds for? | ||
But isn't that... | ||
Cosm used to be what he called the place in New York City, right? | ||
He had the place in Manhattan. | ||
Yeah, they had this... | ||
I think they still... | ||
Well, they still do have a beautiful place in New York. | ||
Or like an artist loft there, I believe. | ||
But they ended up realizing it was time to... | ||
Spread their wings. | ||
Build a temple. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And then really go somewhere in nature. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're in like a small New York town, right? | ||
Yeah, that's right. | ||
New York state town. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's a beautiful place. | ||
And they're a legit religion? | ||
Entheon, that's right. | ||
And they're an actual religion, which they are. | ||
They are an actual religion. | ||
Yeah, it is a religion. | ||
And by the way, a religion doesn't want anything from you. | ||
They're not trying to get 10% of your money. | ||
They're not giving you a bunch of rules to follow. | ||
Nope. | ||
They want you to worship love and creativity. | ||
It's a really interesting place. | ||
That's just an image of what it's going to look like. | ||
I don't think it's really quite there yet, but holy shit. | ||
Can you imagine coming up to that, like walking up to that front door and you're like, oh my god, what the hell am I looking at? | ||
Dude, when I was on tour, they let me park my tour bus there because we needed a place to sleep for the night. | ||
So I had to sleep in front of that thing in my tour bus. | ||
And I hadn't even gotten to that phase, but I had Crazy dreams just sleeping there. | ||
Yeah, it was wild man. | ||
That's probably like one of those if you build it they will come things like do you imagine how hard you would trip inside that place? | ||
Do you know I'm saying yeah now like I don't think it's I don't think it's a But like you could do DMT in a shitty apartment and still have some crazy mind-blowing trip But you can't tell me that coming to this place and going through this Entheon portal Yeah, this isn't gonna have some fucking crazy effect on the way you trip. | ||
Yeah, oh my god, but that you know that was the idea of a temple I mean that the idea is and not I'm not just saying to trip or whatever but the concept is like You know, let's acknowledge the fact that maybe our ideas aren't necessarily coming from inside our brains. | ||
Let's just as a fantasy imagine that there is a divine intelligence that as one of the many beautiful things it pushes into this particular realm is art. | ||
And that if we can figure out a way to purify the connection with that thing, then we become receivers for that. | ||
And by doing that, we allow that thing to begin to exist in this world. | ||
And a temple was a place that allowed that connection to be refined, purified, intentionalized. | ||
And in that, there's a solidification called Inspiration or art or whatever the name is you want to give it, but it's really, it's like output from a place that maybe is, you know, a few floors up from the one we're at. | ||
It's having a pretty wonderful party right now. | ||
And like part of what we do is like allow it to drip into this realm, which is potentially a denser realm. | ||
We're in the realm of matter. | ||
It's dense, you know, and like ideas, if you look at your ideas, they're light. | ||
They're like, they don't have a lot, at least my ideas, like, they're not like heavy. | ||
Inspiration feels like barely anything. | ||
In fact, it's so barely anything, think how easy it is to miss a good idea. | ||
How easy it is to think something cool that maybe you want to write down for a joke, and you're just like, I'll write that down later, and then it's gone. | ||
It's light. | ||
It's light. | ||
And so in part of what they're, I think, are all about, or I mean, again, that's me putting it on them. | ||
They have a wonderful description on their website about what they're all about. | ||
But to me, part of what creation is, is taking those things, allowing them to come through you, and then allowing this realm to do what it does, which is to crystallize them in a denser form that other people can enjoy. | ||
And, you know, That enjoyment is, you know, that's enough. | ||
It doesn't have to be some lofty ass shit. | ||
It's just like people get a little, like, this tiny little smell of heaven, like a better place, a lighter place, a place that isn't. | ||
Encumbered by so much bullshit is this particular realm that can like completely take someone out of a depression man that can completely give somebody the you know juice they need to like get back out there and like open up themselves to the world and not be shut down just one little like tiny tiny minuscule reminder of like don't worry there's this isn't the only place there's simultaneously amazing things happen happening which you're part of you just don't realize it yet And... | ||
Don't worry. | ||
McKinney, in one of his essays, that's what he'd say on mushrooms is he would get this message. | ||
Don't worry, we're coming. | ||
Don't worry, we're coming. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
I think that's what art does. | ||
It gives you this sense of, don't worry. | ||
Right now, we're just building the runway. | ||
Don't worry. | ||
It's coming. | ||
I know this place seems fucked up. | ||
It's a little dense right now. | ||
We're going to lighten it up. | ||
How much of that is your own imagination, though? | ||
How much of your own imagination stimulates your trips? | ||
You know, I mean, we want to assume that we're really interacting with something, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
On the other side. | ||
But why do we assume that that's something? | ||
Obviously, it's not static. | ||
One of the things about tryptamine experiences is that things twist and change and morph and shift. | ||
They never stay any one thing for any length of time. | ||
They're always becoming other things and moving in and out of things. | ||
Maybe that's just what happens over there. | ||
Maybe these things are constantly shifting and changing. | ||
You know? | ||
Maybe what we're doing is we're trying to apply, when we think of how we are here in this life, we're trying to apply those laws to whatever we experience when we do that. | ||
But it seems so alien. | ||
When you have those experiences, it seems so alien. | ||
You're not going to be able to bring any of that back. | ||
You can give someone little glimpses. | ||
And what Alex has done the best is capture like, oh, I know what he's doing. | ||
Like those faces, those almost Egyptian-looking golden faces moving apart from each other. | ||
You go, oh yeah, I've seen something. | ||
Yeah, something sort of. | ||
Yeah, there's a tryptamine part to that. | ||
But whatever that would be in that dimension, it would change and become something else instantaneously, and then become something else. | ||
And a lot of it has to do with how you're thinking. | ||
Which is weird. | ||
It's like, is the way you're thinking actually affecting those things? | ||
Or is the way you're thinking affecting your perception of whatever this energy is and how it manifests itself visually? | ||
Well, I mean, this is that, right? | ||
Even in what you're saying, there's this assumption that Your thinking is separate from the thing. | ||
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
And so we have a thought and we're thinking to ourselves, ah, I just got a good idea. | ||
We don't know that if we had a different way of quantifying time and space, we might have just seen some ethereal mist drift through us that produced a thing we called a thought that we thought must be us. | ||
So you look at a thing in that realm and it's shifting and converting. | ||
And you notice that that conversion seems to be happening in relation to how you're feeling. | ||
And now you're in a chicken or the egg conversation, which is like, who's reflecting who here? | ||
Which of us is real and which of us isn't? | ||
Am I just seeing who I actually am? | ||
But because I live in a world of individuality and I live in a world where There's a separate quality to things. | ||
I have to see you as separate. | ||
Because if I don't, I can't see you. | ||
I'm seeing myself in you, which is, I think, what is happening in this realm anyway. | ||
Anything you're looking at right now is some phenomena being painted instantaneously by your imagination. | ||
That's what the imagination is doing. | ||
It's painting colors onto the universe of Infinite phenomena that your brain is doing out of habit. | ||
Anyone you're around, you make an instantaneous assessment of that person. | ||
You begin to realize, like, wait, I got a bad vibe about that person. | ||
I bet something's off with them. | ||
And then you go into, like, you're a TV psychic bullshit. | ||
Like, oh, yeah, really? | ||
Oh, really? | ||
Is that the instincts you learned? | ||
Where'd you learn that? | ||
World of Warcraft? | ||
unidentified
|
The streets. | |
Yeah, you don't know. | ||
But I've done that. | ||
By the way, I'm talking about myself. | ||
I'm like, yeah, I just can tell if a person is honest. | ||
It's like, no, I can't. | ||
You can definitely tell if a person's really fucking weird, though. | ||
That's for sure. | ||
You can tell if a person's off, like they're not really connecting with you, or they're pretending to connect with you, and you're like, whoa, I got a weird vibe from this guy. | ||
Yeah, that. | ||
Meanwhile, if you looked at what he said on paper and what you said on paper, it would be totally normal. | ||
That's true. | ||
Sometimes there's certain things, a violation of space, there's a weirdness to the way they look at you, a cadence. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're like, oh, you're off! | ||
I hate that feeling, man. | ||
That's a deeper thing. | ||
When the alarm bells go off like that, your hair starts standing up, you're like, I fucking hate that. | ||
That's scary. | ||
But, you know, I'm just saying, sometimes you're not right. | ||
And this is like why you need empiricism and science, because sometimes you're not right. | ||
Like, just because you think that's how shit is from some instinct inside of you, doesn't mean that's how things is. | ||
You're biased. | ||
And so that's the projection. | ||
That's the part of you that you're still dealing with some trauma when you're a kid. | ||
And you're seeing that trauma in all the things around you. | ||
And so you're in an argument with someone who hurt you 20 years ago when you're talking to somebody who vaguely reminds you of that person. | ||
And if you're in the UIV, you're still having the argument. | ||
And if you're not aware that you're still having that argument, then you can start saying shit like, Why do I always end up with the same person? | ||
It's like, I always draw this kind of person to me. | ||
And it's like, well, maybe you're drawing the exact same kind of person to you. | ||
Or maybe you're running the same movie on a different screen. | ||
And being like, I've seen this before! | ||
I keep seeing this movie! | ||
You know? | ||
It's like, that's the same movie. | ||
It's like, you're seeing the same thing you're projecting. | ||
It's just, it looks like now it's not... | ||
Tom, it's Alex. | ||
Or now it's not Lisa. | ||
You're looking at Samantha, but you're still seeing this thing. | ||
And that's the projection. | ||
So anyway, that's the imagination. | ||
And the question is, how powerful is that projection? | ||
Because sometimes you start projecting onto someone how you think they are. | ||
And if that person's weak or insecure, they'll start acting the way you think they are. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Now your projection has sprung to life in front of you because you've essentially animated a person with your expectation of them. | ||
And then, because that person is acting the way you thought they would act, because they don't know the fuck they are, you're making monsters with your imagination. | ||
Well, that's what cult leaders do, right? | ||
That's how you start a sex cult. | ||
How? | ||
Same way. | ||
You gotta take these people and put it in their head that this is what they do. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
You put it in their head. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, that's right. | ||
You say you see it. | ||
Yes. | ||
I see it in you. | ||
Well, in this book, I told you about this book, Chaos, Tom O'Neill's book on Manson and the CIA. Yeah. | ||
Did I tell you about this? | ||
No, I saw your tweet about it. | ||
Oh my God, dude. | ||
What is... | ||
Oh my... | ||
Manson was tied up with the CIA? Oh my god. | ||
Almost definitely a part of these fucking psychedelics LSD experiments that they were doing on hippies. | ||
Almost definitely experimented on him, probably in prison, but almost definitely allowed him to get out of when he violated his parole, let him loose, let him free, supply him with acid, monitor him, They were monitoring him every step of the way. | ||
They, like, fed that monster. | ||
They knew that this guy had been incarcerated half his life. | ||
He was a con man. | ||
And they taught him how to be a cult leader. | ||
They taught him how to be a cult leader. | ||
And they probably taught him how to talk people into killing people. | ||
And to do so with acid. | ||
And they would dose him up and he would make people do all kinds of shit. | ||
Like it would take people like, okay, you're going to fuck her and he's going to fuck him. | ||
And they would put together these orgies. | ||
He would put together orgies. | ||
I mean, he would sodomize kids in front of them. | ||
Like horrific shit. | ||
Fucked up. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
He was like some boy that was like 15 years old. | ||
He did crazy, crazy shit. | ||
They were all on acid. | ||
They all committed murder. | ||
He directed them to commit murder, but all of this very connected to the CIA's MK Ultra Project. | ||
All of it. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
Very connected in multiple different ways. | ||
Connected to LSD and hippies, LSD and mind control, LSD, trying to come up with a Manchurian candidate, trying to get someone to commit murder and not even realize they did it. | ||
Also connected to Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
Because Jack Ruby was all fucked up on that program when he killed Lee Harvey Oswald and afterwards went completely insane, was seen by the very same doctor that was running the clinic where Manson used to go. | ||
This guy was a CIA doctor, was a psychologist or a psychiatrist dosing people up with LSD, running studies on prisoners, getting students to run studies, getting scientists to run studies, not even knowing they were doing it through the CIA. Kaczynski, too. | ||
Don't forget. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Kaczynski. | ||
How about Operation Midnight Climax ran brothels in San Francisco and a couple other places where they dosed people up with acid and watched them fuck. | ||
How dare they name it that? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Midnight Climax. | ||
That's so dumb. | ||
You know what it sounds like? | ||
That sounds like the name of porn in a hotel that you could watch. | ||
Yes. | ||
It's like a secret agent that sucks everyone's dick. | ||
Midnight Climax. | ||
Whoever named that, that really tells you a lot about the program. | ||
But, like, you know, man, the... | ||
Here's a controversial fucking thing to say, which someone reminded me of a while ago, which really freaked me out, kind of, which is like, back then, like, right now we know a little bit more about some of the shit the CIA did. | ||
A lot of it because they put it on their website. | ||
Yes. | ||
Which is so crazy to me. | ||
They just put it up on their website, which is crazy. | ||
But back then... | ||
What stuff did they put up on their website? | ||
Dude, are you fucking kidding? | ||
Like all the shit about the remote viewing experiments they did? | ||
I interviewed that main guy that they had for remote viewing. | ||
Wasn't that a fucking famous guy? | ||
This is one famous guy that I interviewed. | ||
He's like famous in the remote viewing world. | ||
I know you're talking. | ||
The guy who wrote the movie, or didn't write it, but the documentary Kill Shot. | ||
Was he the guy who talked about a kill shot, or that's the name for the thing that happens when the sun fucks up? | ||
It didn't fuck up. | ||
I mean, who am I to say the sun fucked up? | ||
But for us, it fucked up. | ||
It does like a, not a supernova, but just does a big-ass flare that kind of like melts whatever side of the earth happens to be facing it. | ||
You know, that's like the kill shot that a lot of these remote viewers were apparently saying that they were seeing because they were realizing that they could actually... | ||
They weren't sort of bound by time and these visions, and they all started sharing this vision of this thing. | ||
It's really a creepy... | ||
Creepy documentary out there, man. | ||
That's 100% on the table. | ||
Like some giant solar flare, some solar incident. | ||
That's 100% on the table. | ||
By the way, I'm sorry if we talked about this the last episode, have we talked about the CIA's website yet? | ||
What about their website? | ||
Have you ever gone to it? | ||
No! | ||
Jamie, would you mind pulling that up? | ||
I've applied for a job. | ||
You applied for a job with the CIA? Well, I was stoned and it was late at night and I'm like, wait, you can apply online? | ||
Check it out, dude. | ||
Whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
Ask Molly? | ||
There's a cartoon? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hold on. | ||
Back up. | ||
This is the CIA's website. | ||
Ask Molly, your CIA source on the inside, and it's hashtag AskMollyHale, and Molly Hale's like a hot agent. | ||
This week's Ask Molly Hale question comes from a writer who wants to know if there's a path forward for them at CIA since they have done illegal drugs in the past. | ||
They took my question! | ||
That's your question. | ||
No, I'm just kidding. | ||
It seems like it's your question. | ||
Since they have done illegal drugs in the past. | ||
Let's see what Molly's answer is. | ||
Let's see Molly's answer. | ||
So it says, find Molly's answer. | ||
What does Molly say? | ||
Dear eager to serve. | ||
Let me be clear on this from the get-go. | ||
Having previously used illegal drugs does not immediately disqualify you from working at CIA. If working for CIA is your life's goal, and we certainly hope it is, there could be a path for you here. | ||
With that said, there are certain restrictions you should be aware of, especially if you've used illegal drugs within the past year. | ||
Generally speaking, to be eligible for CIA employment, applicants That's not a word, kids. | ||
Is that a typo? | ||
Not only an applicant, but as the potential holder of a security clearance. | ||
It might seem a bit archaic, but consider the access to information we're giving at CIA employees and consequences of granting access to the wrong person. | ||
How much access to information? | ||
Just read that real quick. | ||
It might seem a bit archaic, but consider the access to information we're giving at CIA employees. | ||
What access are you giving them? | ||
You're in a simulator. | ||
That's probably the first thing they say after you get hired. | ||
They're like, it's a simulator. | ||
We're just doing like what the programmer wants. | ||
It's like, I know you're going to freak out for two months. | ||
We're going to give you like a protocol of antidepressants because you can go nihilistic or absurdist when you realize you're just a string of code that's running, but you'll get over it. | ||
And then there's an egg. | ||
The thing reads your mind. | ||
It's kind of cool. | ||
We'll show you that later. | ||
Officers regularly handle classified information which, if leaked, could spell disaster for national security and endanger the life of CIA officers. | ||
This is my favorite word. | ||
Assets and their family. | ||
Assets is one of my favorite words they use. | ||
We have an asset in Jerusalem. | ||
An asset? | ||
You got an asset? | ||
Is it a person? | ||
You know a guy? | ||
Yeah, he's an asset. | ||
He's an asset. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He's like a number? | ||
What's an asset? | ||
An asset is like stocks. | ||
You got an asset? | ||
I got stock in Palestinians. | ||
I got some Palestinians. | ||
I've saved up. | ||
I've got some assets. | ||
Just some people you connected with. | ||
I connect with them. | ||
They're my assets. | ||
Now you may be wondering. | ||
That's all fine, Molly, but I live in a state where marijuana use was legalized under state law. | ||
So why would any of this really apply in my case? | ||
The short answer is... | ||
Or would any of this really apply in my case? | ||
The short answer is yes. | ||
Marijuana remains illegal under federal law in every state. | ||
The CIA is bound by federal law which prohibits CIA from granting security clearances to unlawful users of controlled substances including marijuana. | ||
State laws do not supersede those of the federal government. | ||
The great lord who looks over the land with an iron fist. | ||
For more information regarding the federal government security clearance guidelines regarding drug use and other considerations, you can check out the... | ||
What if the next line was like, hey, what's up, Joe? | ||
That's cool you're showing this on your podcast. | ||
unidentified
|
No! | |
No! | ||
It's a simulation. | ||
But I do think, like, in there is they're also kind of saying, like, that being said, if you can set shit on fire with your mind or something when you're stoned, come talk to us. | ||
It's like, you know what I mean? | ||
They are saying, like... | ||
The other cool thing when you look at applying for a job is it says, after you apply, don't tell anybody you apply for the job. | ||
We'll approach you regarding the job. | ||
Which is so fucking cool! | ||
You can't talk about it when you apply. | ||
Meanwhile, they're absolutely checking your phone. | ||
They're checking your... | ||
I applied and like I just leaned into the fact that like fuck it, they're gonna look at everything I do. | ||
And then also like imagining that at some point, some CIA agent might come up to me like, hey, what's up, man? | ||
Hey, what's going on? | ||
Did you really want to be a bookkeeper at the Pentagon? | ||
No, I wanted to meet a CIA agent, dude. | ||
Hello! | ||
Because, I mean, you know, wouldn't you like to meet? | ||
I know one. | ||
You know a CIA agent? | ||
I've had him on the podcast multiple times, Mike Baker. | ||
He does a lot of consulting for TV shows and security stuff. | ||
So you are in... | ||
Is he working for them now? | ||
No, well... | ||
unidentified
|
How would you know? | |
Yeah, he's a former CIA operative. | ||
What does that mean? | ||
Do you really think they ever stop talking to each other? | ||
No. | ||
No. | ||
He does security clearance stuff and security stuff. | ||
He has a security company. | ||
Did he? | ||
So wait, so this guy, did you ask him about the Manson shit? | ||
No, I just found out about this shit really recently. | ||
Fitzsimmons told me about this guy. | ||
Tom O'Neill was his neighbor for like 20 years. | ||
He was neighbors with Greg and Greg the whole time he was doing this book while Greg was friends with him. | ||
It took him 20 years to write this book. | ||
It started out as an article for Premier Magazine and then as he started uncovering all these inconsistencies with the trial he realized that there was kind of a bullshit trial and that the Prosecuting attorney like everybody had there was there was deals that everybody had made to have a specific narrative go through and Susan Atkins one of the people from the Manson families on trial her her fucking defense attorney was like a former prosecuting attorney that had worked with Vincent | ||
Bugliosi and all these other people before they were all buddies and they signed him to her and To take over for her state-appointed attorney. | ||
This guy took over. | ||
They followed directions. | ||
Everybody followed directions. | ||
As he was going deeper and deeper into the story, he realized there was a lot of crazy shit. | ||
That was going on. | ||
First of all, Manson for sure was let out of jail multiple times when he shouldn't have been. | ||
When he was violating parole, he was let out of jail repeatedly for crazy shit like theft. | ||
They were monitoring these people. | ||
They knew where they were staying. | ||
They knew the ranch, the spawn ranch where they were staying at. | ||
They never did anything. | ||
They let them go whenever they were in trouble and most likely got him the fucking LSD. Have you looked up the Finders cult yet? | ||
What is that one? | ||
I shouldn't even have brought it up. | ||
I'm not even doing a good job with this. | ||
That last description, because I didn't think I was going to talk about it. | ||
But this thing blew my mind. | ||
You've got to listen to this audiobook. | ||
Listen to the audiobook, or maybe just listen to some of the podcasts, and you'll get sucked in. | ||
This guy was obsessed with this for 20 years. | ||
That's all he thought of. | ||
That's all he did. | ||
It was his life's work. | ||
Okay, you had the CIA agent you had on. | ||
He's cool, right? | ||
He seems like a good guy. | ||
Is he your friend? | ||
I like the guy. | ||
So, you know what's so bizarre, and I don't even want to say it, but I think it's like, because you say it, and then people see you say it, and they're like, see, you're all in the CIA! But something Rick Doblin, you know, I was bitching to Rick Doblin on a podcast, and I was doing this thing I used to do when I was younger, Which is like trying to create an all evil, all good binary regarding people who work like in the CIA or people who work in even the DEA or whatever. | ||
That thing you do when you're being lazy in your way of thinking, right? | ||
Being binary. | ||
And Doblin, one of the things he said to me that I've always kept with me is he's like, there's people like us All the way to the top. | ||
There's people who look at drug laws right now. | ||
Do people from the CIA listen to this podcast? | ||
Right! | ||
Yeah, I know of that. | ||
FBI, listen to this podcast. | ||
That's what I'm saying, man. | ||
The thing that's somewhat annoying in the sense that it requires nuance rather than a heavy-handed, they're all evil, is some of the people in there Are really like 100% trying to keep at least people here from getting blown the fuck up. | ||
And they're not like, oh god, let's find another manson. | ||
Exactly. | ||
I went and got this tour of... | ||
Actually, JPL, the place Parsons was at, man. | ||
I think it was BP or Shell or some oil company. | ||
Generally, we all look at the oil companies and think, they're all the worst! | ||
While you're driving in your car, you'll be like, these fucking oil companies! | ||
They were working on some kind of new solar panel technology. | ||
It was like Shell, or I don't remember which fucking company it was. | ||
I remember saying to the guy, like, This technology, if it works, doesn't this destroy the oil industry? | ||
Like, don't they know they're working on a technology that's gonna make the thing they make money selling and buying irrelevant? | ||
And he's like, oh no, these companies are so big. | ||
That there's departments within departments within departments. | ||
And that's where it gets fucking crazy about the CIA. Which is like, the people in the CIA don't know, obviously, all the people in the CIA. Exactly. | ||
That's your security clearance. | ||
And the question is, how deep does that basement go, man, under the CIA? But here's also the question. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How are you going to find out what happens when people take LSD without giving people LSD and studying them? | ||
Ready? | ||
Go. | ||
You're not. | ||
So if you're in 1953, okay, and you're finding out about LSD, and people are taking LSD at parties, and people are taking LSD at concerts, and you start realizing the ramifications of a society in 1964 that's all taking LSD, and you see this hippie movement, you're going to run some studies. | ||
So then you're going to give people the ability to test people without their knowledge. | ||
You don't know how crazy that guy is, what kind of a sociopath that guy is. | ||
And he's going to run tests on people without their knowledge and give them LSD. And then there's going to be people that say, hey, you know, we want to infiltrate all these anti-war groups. | ||
We want to infiltrate the Black Panthers. | ||
We want to infiltrate these hippies. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How can we do that? | ||
Well, here's how we do that. | ||
We take this guy. | ||
We got him in prison for half of his fucking life in federal prison so far. | ||
He's 32 years old. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Dose this motherfucker up with LSD. Let's run some studies on him and let's tell him that he's a cult leader and get him to make some apocalyptic fucking death cult that wants to kill people and write pig on the wall in their blood. | ||
And so they let Manson, they knew where he was. | ||
They knew he was getting acid. | ||
They knew that he was probably having people kill people. | ||
Yeah, well, okay, first of all, to go back, man, if you really study the spread of LSD and the popular culture, it wasn't that the CIA saw people taking LSD at parties. | ||
It's that the CIA, as I understand the story, goes and buys from Sandoz Laboratories all of their LSD and then begins to do tests on college campuses. | ||
Where people begin to take the LSD and then the parties start. | ||
So I think it's more like the CIA started the party when it comes to LSD, or at least were majorly involved in the initial experience people had with LSD, which was like, that's when you get Tim Leary, that's when you get Richard Alpert, you know, Ram Dass. | ||
They were both like hanging out. | ||
At Harvard where the same psychology professor did this shit on Kaczynski was and like LSD you know that's they were doing I don't know if they were doing the LSD test there but these tests were going on they were being exposed to LSD that theoretically I don't know if it came from the CIA or not but I don't know like where the I think they actually those tests were they were ordering it from Sandoz but for sure like who wrote one flew over the cuckoo's nest uh Damn | ||
it! | ||
I can't believe I can't remember that author's name! | ||
unidentified
|
Ken Kesey. | |
Yeah, Ken Kesey. | ||
He did one of the CIA LSD. He was in one of the CIA LSD experiments. | ||
That makes sense. | ||
And also, man, back then, I don't think, because we didn't get the Manson, the Kaczynski, or all the awful shrapnel, weird shards of chaos that exploded off of the crazy, unethical shit they did, I don't know if there was so much of an idea that they were evil. | ||
I could be wrong about that, but they weren't even called the CIA. I think they were called the OSS. In the beginning, yeah. | ||
But by the time, the CIA was running a fucking clinic in Haight-Ashbury that closed down after like 30 years of being open or 40 years of being open, closed down three months after this book came out. | ||
Like, well, that's a wrap. | ||
Yes. | ||
Yeah, Jolly West, the same guy who visited Jack Ruby in the hospital. | ||
And after he left, Jack Ruby went insane. | ||
He was crawling underneath the table and thought that Jewish children were getting lit on fire and cut apart in the streets and a new Holocaust was going on. | ||
Immediately, immediately he has to. | ||
They have no record of him acting insane before this at all. | ||
He didn't even understand why he shot... | ||
Lee Harvey Oswald. | ||
That's so fucked up. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, they think that the same thing happened with Sirhan Sirhan, the guy who shot Robert Kennedy. | ||
They think that he was under the influence as well. | ||
Because he had the same reaction after he shot him, like, why am I here? | ||
What happened? | ||
That they used LSD to somehow or another Get these people to commit atrocities, to kill people, to murder people. | ||
Yeah, I mean, yeah, and you can, what's probably, you can probably, I know you can. | ||
If we go on the CIA, the crazy thing is, you can go on their website, look at the Freedom of Information archives, and they have MKUltra shit up there right now that you can look at. | ||
That's where it gets really weird, is it's like, they're like, yeah, Yeah, but they never admit that they gave people... | ||
That was the thing about Jolly West. | ||
He never admitted that he gave people LSD and did studies on them. | ||
Never admitted it. | ||
I think it's... | ||
While he was alive, at least. | ||
I mean, I don't know if they're admitting it now because of the freedom... | ||
Well, they must. | ||
Because Operation Midnight Climax, that's an officially historical record. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
So they must be now. | ||
But when they were operating this clinic, Manson and the family were going into that clinic all the time. | ||
There's a 100% direct connection between the CIA doctors who are providing LST to the hippies and Manson going to this clinic. | ||
That is so fucked up. | ||
Dude, this book is crazy! | ||
Man, that does not sound like pandemic reading to me. | ||
It's the best. | ||
Are you sure, man? | ||
unidentified
|
Go deep. | |
I don't know, man. | ||
I'm already weirded out by just bad understanding of astronomy. | ||
unidentified
|
It's like... | |
You know what I mean? | ||
I don't know that I need to get into shit about the CIA, especially because it's like, you know, I don't know. | ||
It's just too much, you know? | ||
That being said, I'm going to definitely fucking read that book. | ||
Well, just listen to the podcast. | ||
That's the easiest. | ||
You'll get your dick wet, listen to the podcast, and then you're going to want to listen to the audiobook or read the book. | ||
But he has 60 pages of citations and references at the end of the book to show each thing and how he can prove it. | ||
He's got some speculation that he entertained at the very end of the book, and we talked about it on the podcast, but the stuff that he knows for sure to be true is bonkers. | ||
Can I ask you a question that will probably get made into a YouTube clip accusing you of being an asset of the CIA? Sure. | ||
So, okay. | ||
Let's imagine this. | ||
One day you get contacted by somebody who's in the CIA and they show you convincing data. | ||
Regarding something, you know, whatever it may be. | ||
Meteor impact, some other impending danger. | ||
That is like, you look at it and it's like, whatever it is they give you, you believe it. | ||
And they're like, listen, Joe, we know you're like, we know that you're like a wild animal. | ||
And we know that like, you don't want to be dishonest. | ||
And we understand that. | ||
But we got to figure out a way to get this kind of information out to the world. | ||
Because if we don't, like, it's going to be really bad. | ||
And we're just going to... | ||
To people like you and just trying to get whatever the thing is they want you to say. | ||
A little thing. | ||
An idea of how they want you to be. | ||
And they're not offering you money. | ||
They're not offering you money. | ||
And they're also saying, don't worry. | ||
If you say no... | ||
Duncan, did you get that job at the CIA? What? | ||
Excuse me? | ||
Did I get the job at the CIA? Did you get that job that you applied for? | ||
No! | ||
It seems like you're priming me. | ||
What? | ||
You're going to give me a suggestion later. | ||
Listen. | ||
I know what you're doing, man. | ||
Joe. | ||
Have you ever thought of a blue butterfly, Joe? | ||
Yeah, but seriously, what would your response be if someone's like, look, we just need your help? | ||
Listen, I think Central Intelligence Agency, I think FBI, I think the DEA, I think they're all necessary. | ||
I don't think they're unnecessary. | ||
I think that most of what they're doing is trying to protect us. | ||
Let's do the Illuminati logo for the YouTube. | ||
I do think also that some of those guys turn into fucking cowboys and try to fly coke back from Mexico and crash CIA jets. | ||
That's true too. | ||
All that shit that happened in Mena, Arkansas, you know, all that shit that happened when Clinton was governor with Barry Seals, when they were running coke back and forth and dropping off in Mena, Arkansas, that guy was a CIA contractor. | ||
There's a lot of those guys that were CIA. Look, they got compromised. | ||
I think, but that doesn't mean the whole CIA's bad. | ||
It doesn't mean we don't need a CIA. Man, if you talk to people, if they're honest, I don't know if they're... | ||
Let's just assume they're honest. | ||
If you talk to people that deal with trying to infiltrate terrorist groups, and deal with tracking terrorists, and deal with trying to figure out if someone's trying to make a dirty bomb, trying to figure out if someone's ready to blow up a mall, and they're doing this Actively, every day, all day. | ||
That's essential. | ||
That's essential. | ||
So the CIA, oh, fucking MKUltra, they dose people at whorehouses. | ||
They're not the same people. | ||
This is a giant organization that's been around for a long fucking time. | ||
What you're hearing about from Jolly West and the MKUltra, those people are dead. | ||
Those are not alive today. | ||
But you know who is alive today? | ||
ISIS. You know who is alive today? | ||
A lot of threats all around the world. | ||
You know who is alive today? | ||
Kim Jong-un, the leader of China. | ||
All these fucking dictators that are heavily armed all over the world. | ||
There's a lot of them. | ||
You've got to keep an eye on those motherfuckers. | ||
If you don't think you have to keep an eye on them, you're crazy. | ||
Well, the CIA is evil. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Humans are evil. | ||
And sometimes you need someone who's paying attention to the evil people. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah, that's what you need. | ||
Now, does that mean that they're not going to stray across the lines of what is correct and good and fair and start spying on regular people, too? | ||
No, it doesn't mean that. | ||
Right. | ||
It means that shit needs to be curbed. | ||
That shit's un-American, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
But if you think someone might be a terrorist, you should be able to find out before they blow up a fucking school. | ||
Totally. | ||
100%. | ||
100%. | ||
So the question is, how good are these people at walking that line? | ||
Turns out, pretty fucking good. | ||
Turns out pretty fucking good. | ||
There's a bunch of shit that's happened over time. | ||
But also, they've gotten intel on all these different terrorists and all these different fucking terrible situations all over the world and probably saved a lot of people. | ||
It's not perfect, but nothing's perfect. | ||
It's not a fucking thing that's perfect, whether it's the fucking post office or police officers or fire department or doctors. | ||
No one's perfect, including the CIA, including the FBI, including the Army, the Navy. | ||
There's going to be problems. | ||
But overall, they're trying to protect, I would imagine, if I had to ask, like, what are you guys here for? | ||
To make sure this shit doesn't hit the fan. | ||
Pay attention to the shit. | ||
Pay attention. | ||
Do some of them branch out into coke business? | ||
Yes. | ||
I'm sure some of them sell coke. | ||
I'm sure there's someone for the federal government that's selling guns to a bad guy right now. | ||
I'm sure. | ||
I'm sure. | ||
People are people. | ||
If you got a million people, you're gonna get 30 bad ones or whatever the fuck the number is. | ||
It's just part of life. | ||
You're a CIA apologist! | ||
I set you up! | ||
I don't believe a word of what I just said! | ||
Come on, man! | ||
You son of a bitch! | ||
You took that job! | ||
Come on, man. | ||
You know I get a big bonus. | ||
You took the job. | ||
You're wearing a wire, bro. | ||
You don't have to wear a wire anymore. | ||
Just carry your phone. | ||
I'm wearing a wire on a podcast. | ||
I'm monitoring you, Joe. | ||
Imagine if you got too close to the mic. | ||
It's like... | ||
unidentified
|
Jamie's like, hmm. | |
When I was a kid growing up, when I was at the beach, that was always something I'd fantasize about. | ||
It's like, fuck, I hope one of those drug bags washes up, man. | ||
Do you ever wonder how many of those wash up that people don't report? | ||
Whenever I hear about someone who's like, oh my god, I found a briefcase full of cocaine! | ||
Like, why are you... | ||
That's grace. | ||
Something is delivered unto you, this bizarre thing, at the very least. | ||
I'm not a fan of coke myself. | ||
I hate it, in fact. | ||
Yeah, but if you got some of that Ozzy Osbourne from the 70s coke, do you know how good that shit would be? | ||
CIA cocaine. | ||
Yes. | ||
Remember when we would talk about government weed? | ||
Government weed was good. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Unlike the cheese. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Government cheese is terrible, but government weed. | ||
Dude, he's got that government weed. | ||
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
Do you remember that? | ||
Yeah, I do, man. | ||
I completely forgot about that. | ||
That was the thing. | ||
Back when weed was illegal, you wanted to shit, the government was growing. | ||
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
Yeah, that's right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, because for sure, by the way, you know, there's a, there's like, I guess at the CIA, there's a layer of all the sober people who've like, haven't gotten high for a year, which whoever's writing that fucking thing is definitely like laughing as they're writing it, you know, they're like, just laughing because they're so fucking high and they're like, all right, we'll just say it. | ||
No, they're tasked, man. | ||
Well, there's a level they test. | ||
But you know there's a level where you get past that level and like, listen, the no drug stuff, please. | ||
We want you to have a good time. | ||
This is a fun job. | ||
Like, we know that you can handle your shit. | ||
We just have to do that level below you because otherwise the last thing you need is another fucking Manson. | ||
You know what I always think about when I think of someone infiltrating a terrorist group? | ||
What? | ||
That scene in Team America, World Police, where the actor has the fucking terrible outfit on. | ||
We need actors to save the world. | ||
unidentified
|
Do you remember? | |
Yeah, dude. | ||
unidentified
|
I always think of that. | |
If I think about anybody infiltrating a terrorist group, I think of that guy. | ||
Yeah, well, you know what? | ||
Again, we don't have to worry about that. | ||
That, to me, is a fucking great thing. | ||
I don't have to worry about that. | ||
I don't have to worry about infiltrating a terrorist group. | ||
Can you imagine if it was... | ||
Remember, he was so good at acting, they just let him, he looks so bad! | ||
And they just believe him, and he walks right through. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
What a great movie. | ||
This movie's amazing. | ||
This movie's amazing. | ||
Folks, if you've never seen Team America World Police, I probably laugh harder in this movie than any movie I've ever seen in my life. | ||
It is so good. | ||
Team America, what a great name. | ||
unidentified
|
World Police. | |
And then, also, after you see the movie, go online and find the sex scenes that they had to delete. | ||
So, first of all, these guys are geniuses. | ||
And what they figured out is that if you just add way more than you really want, they let you have what you want. | ||
You gotta add stuff like, I think she shit on his chest. | ||
They pissed all over each other. | ||
They fucked like crazy. | ||
So it's a plastic doll sex scene that's so, so crazy and graphic. | ||
And then when you watch it in the movie, it's like a fraction of this because they just went so far. | ||
They're 69ing each other. | ||
That is ridiculous. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And she's violently sucking him off. | ||
And they just keep... | ||
So they did this so that they could have some of it in there. | ||
I mean, it's so long and so crazy. | ||
And then once you think it's over, then they start pissing and shitting all over each other, too. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
Doesn't it keep going? | ||
Yeah. | ||
This is a clip from the actual movie. | ||
Oh, that's from the actual movie. | ||
Oh, what? | ||
So that's how much they left in. | ||
That's something much they left in because they cut out... | ||
They got so savage with the sex scene that they let them keep the most preposterous amount in there because it was so far past that. | ||
They just tricked them. | ||
They used sleight of hand. | ||
Dude, that must have been so funny filming that. | ||
unidentified
|
I think it took a long time. | |
I'm sure it did. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Trey Parker was saying in some interview that he would never do that again. | ||
Like, that's too bad. | ||
Stop motion? | ||
Yeah, because, dude, Team America World Police is one of the funniest movies of all time. | ||
For sure. | ||
And there's so much in that movie, like what they do with South Park, that you could never do with a human. | ||
Right. | ||
But you can do it with either a doll or a cartoon easily, and it's amazing. | ||
Like, death. | ||
Death scenes. | ||
Like, you killed Kenny. | ||
You couldn't have a guy just die every week on a sitcom. | ||
People were like, this is freaking me the fuck out. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But he doesn't even look remotely real, so he can cut his head off, he can light on fire, he can blow up an explosion. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You can definitely get away with a lot more in that regard, for sure. | ||
Get away with everything. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, it's a genius way to do comedy. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I mean, like, South Park is, like, eerie to me in their ability to quickly animate shit that maintains its relevance. | ||
Like, it's insane that they're able to do that. | ||
Like, they've got it down to that level of, like, oh shit, something happened in the world and we're gonna respond to it almost instantly. | ||
Not only that, they do it mockingly but accurately. | ||
They figure out how to ride that line. | ||
What are you laughing at? | ||
I just saw a scene I've never seen before from it. | ||
Let's see it! | ||
I thought it was fan-made, but it's not. | ||
This is Meryl Streep and this is Ben Affleck. | ||
Oh, Ben Affleck is just a hand? | ||
They made Matt Damon and Ben Affleck really fucking dumb in that movie, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
I'm Matt Damon. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That was rude. | ||
Matt Damon's actually very smart. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So rude. | ||
But it doesn't matter. | ||
They can just do that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They can do anything. | ||
Yeah. | ||
When you have cartoons and puppets, you can fucking do anything. | ||
Dude, I mean, that's the... | ||
But except anything you want to do takes forever. | ||
I mean, that is the problem. | ||
It's like, yeah, you could do anything, but that anything is like, you know, months of anythingness. | ||
So it's like clearly easier to film shit or just to say it. | ||
I mean, the fact that they used hands... | ||
God only knows how much money that saved them. | ||
Like that decision to just do that, how much time that probably saved them. | ||
Who knows? | ||
Like those kinds of like decisions in shows like that are like really smart and funny. | ||
Yeah, but yeah, animation is like, I mean, it is spellbinding. | ||
It is. | ||
It's eating her ass. | ||
Slightly longer. | ||
It's longer. | ||
It's not much different, to be honest with you, though. | ||
No, but there's the shit and the piss scene. | ||
I thought so, but it's not coming up on here. | ||
What? | ||
Oh, there it is. | ||
Wait a minute, go back. | ||
There it is. | ||
She drops a log in his face. | ||
There it is. | ||
Perfect. | ||
And then I think she pisses on him, too, right? | ||
Yeah, it was actually right before that. | ||
Oh, he pisses on her, and then she shits in his face. | ||
How many people do you think do that? | ||
If you look at the whole population, like the entire population, Like a little light went off every time someone was shitting on someone's head. | ||
How many times that happened in a day? | ||
I bet you could fucking light up a small town. | ||
Now, it's mostly the girls shitting on the guy's head, right? | ||
Would you imagine? | ||
Most of it is like a girl, a guy wanting a girl to shit on his head? | ||
Mostly. | ||
100%. | ||
I mean, look up. | ||
If you look, here's a, if you look, not shit. | ||
Isn't this interesting, though? | ||
What I was going to say is it doesn't, I don't feel bad at all about that. | ||
Like, I don't feel like he's getting shit on. | ||
I feel like he wanted to get shit on, and he got shit on, so I'm not mad at her at all. | ||
But if a guy was just, my thing is, like, shit on women's heads, I'd be like, that guy's a piece of garbage. | ||
What the fuck, man? | ||
Why are you doing that? | ||
And the girls, they just, look, they want a thousand bucks, he wants to shit on their head, they make a deal. | ||
And he just shits on people's heads. | ||
I would feel like that guy's disgusting. | ||
But the girl who shit on the guy's head... | ||
Obviously, the guy wanted it. | ||
It's easier to think a guy wants to get his head shit on than a girl. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, if you told me, hey, you know that guy that used to be on that sitcom? | ||
He pays girls to shit on his head. | ||
I'd be like, okay. | ||
That makes sense. | ||
Dude, I know how much it costs. | ||
I'm just kidding. | ||
There's probably a market for it, right? | ||
Depends on how good you want her English to be. | ||
There's some giant German lady who comes over and just dumps on your head. | ||
There's probably a negotiation. | ||
There's probably a dude who's actually had the conversation. | ||
He's like, really? | ||
Like 2,000 bucks? | ||
Are you kidding? | ||
I never pay more than 1,200 for someone to shit on my head. | ||
Maybe they'll give a little extra if they're allowed to pick your diet. | ||
I want you to only eat Indian food. | ||
Oh God. | ||
Just curry. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
I want to smell the curry when you shit in my face. | ||
Have you seen those videos, the fetish videos of people who like to look at videos of people getting stuck in mud? | ||
Do you know about that fetish? | ||
No. | ||
Have you heard about that? | ||
Oh, dude. | ||
It's like, I don't know. | ||
Can we show it? | ||
Look up YouTube people stuck in mud. | ||
People are into people that get stuck in the mud? | ||
Yeah, it's like a fetish. | ||
And there's all these videos of people. | ||
So the humans are stuck in mud walking and then someone comes along and fucks their mouth or something? | ||
Well, no. | ||
No, it's just someone stuck in mud. | ||
At first you look at it and it looks like, why did that dude just throw himself in that swampy mud? | ||
And then he gets out of the mud or they'll start just wiggling around in the mud. | ||
Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
Well, okay. | ||
I found something, but it could be an evolution of car-stuck girls, but maybe not. | ||
Car-stuck girls? | ||
Like girls that are stuck with their car, like they need help. | ||
Oh, like a porn? | ||
Someone needs help, and they're in a helpless position. | ||
That's always in a movie, right? | ||
The guy's waiting in the bushes with a gun, and the girl's standing there with her hood up, and the guy runs out, hey, give me a case! | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's on YouTube. | ||
Sorry, man. | ||
I thought you were looking in like porn. | ||
I don't even know if it's on porn. | ||
I typed in stuck in mud fetish videos and then there's a lot of like Like, what's up with all these girls getting stuck in the mud? | ||
unidentified
|
Like, what the fuck's happening? | |
Now, are they getting stuck in the mud with their legs? | ||
No, no, it's like their... | ||
Automobile. | ||
Yeah, like a BMW. The one I've seen is mostly primarily dudes. | ||
Like, it's like... | ||
Oh, guys get stuck in the mud and then other guys come out and help them? | ||
No, there's no other guy. | ||
It's just like a guy like... | ||
You know the La Brea Tar Pits? | ||
Yes. | ||
It's just that, but with a guy with abs. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
He's like, ah! | ||
They're not yelling, they're just like, you know, like, they're just stuck in mud. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
People are so strange. | ||
That fetish is a really interesting one. | ||
But I think, you know, you're kind of lucky if that's your fetish. | ||
There's a lot of mud out there, man. | ||
It's like, that's a good fetish. | ||
It doesn't seem like it's hurting anybody. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, unless you pay someone to go get stuck in mud and they sink down into quicksand or something. | ||
Well, do you think that the people that... | ||
Are they fantasizing about themselves being stuck in mud? | ||
Don't know. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Right, it's open interpretation. | ||
It could be they're just really into watching hot guys that get stuck. | ||
Someone's filming it. | ||
And they jerk off, you fucking loser. | ||
Can't get out of that mud, you fucking loser. | ||
Look at that beautiful mud. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
There you go. | ||
I don't know if this is one. | ||
It says 130,000 views and it says what you said. | ||
Blonde girl gets stuck in very sticky mud. | ||
Yeah, but you notice it's not like they're trying to get out. | ||
Can I just be honest? | ||
She looks like the kind of girl that would just give up. | ||
Like, I don't think she's that stuck. | ||
Like, come on! | ||
You're not that stuck. | ||
I'm fucking stuck. | ||
I can't. | ||
Just done. | ||
Just done. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How much did they pay her to do this? | ||
50 bucks? | ||
I don't know. | ||
How much do they have to pay you? | ||
How much do they pay me for my mud videos? | ||
No, no, no. | ||
If you wanted to do a mud video. | ||
They wanted you to do a mud video like that. | ||
Free? | ||
Just give me a good patch of mud. | ||
I'll go in it. | ||
Why not? | ||
A cute Asian girl. | ||
Chinese girl gets stuck in mud with cute sneakers. | ||
Oh no, she's got cute sneakers. | ||
She's gonna walk right in the mud with those cute sneakers. | ||
Honey, those are valuable. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What are you doing? | ||
These are great, Jamie. | ||
I haven't seen any of these. | ||
Like, I'm an expert. | ||
These are new. | ||
They're so weird. | ||
Yeah, it's a weird... | ||
It's a very strange fetish. | ||
I don't know if it's like... | ||
Maybe it's like an ASMR thing or something. | ||
Maybe it's not even sexual. | ||
It's just something in it that's relaxing. | ||
Dude, she took her shoes off. | ||
It's sexual. | ||
Yeah, that's true. | ||
She's got her feet. | ||
She's moving around. | ||
Getting all squirted. | ||
You're a dirty girl with your dirty feet. | ||
Dirty feet in the mud. | ||
Look at her. | ||
She's getting down. | ||
That dirt. | ||
Just lost a sock. | ||
Yeah, this is weird. | ||
Weird, man. | ||
Imagine this is your whole life, and you go on the forums and you talk about, you guys got any new squishy feet in the mud videos? | ||
Yeah, that'd be really weird, Joe. | ||
So, Jamie, let's pull up something about the news. | ||
I mean, again, why... | ||
Here's a real question. | ||
Here's a weird question. | ||
Why is that so strange, but like someone who collects stamps... | ||
That's normal. | ||
Right. | ||
Some guy who loves... | ||
There's your answer. | ||
He's dressed up like a Nazi. | ||
He's going all the way down. | ||
And he goes all the way to his fucking head. | ||
Still smoking, too. | ||
He's in quicksand. | ||
Is he in quicksand? | ||
Is that what that is? | ||
Yeah, this is a whole playlist of mess, mud, and quicksand. | ||
You remember when people were terrified of quicksand and then it stopped being a thing? | ||
There's a whole Radiolab podcast about that. | ||
It's really interesting because you hear the podcast, you go, oh yeah, I remember. | ||
Like people were scared of quicksand and then all of a sudden it went away. | ||
I forget what their reasoning is. | ||
Well, when we were kids, that was like one of the ways you could die. | ||
It's quicksand. | ||
And sometimes you would, like if you're out in the woods and there was a suspicious patch, you might even poke it with a stick because it's like, fuck, that was a whole trope in like old movies. | ||
You know, like Tarzan stuck in the quicksand or you're in the quicksand and then someone throws a vine that you pull yourself out. | ||
That's in like 80 different movies. | ||
What are you supposed to do if you were really in quicksand? | ||
You're supposed to treat it like it's water and swim, right? | ||
There's videos on it. | ||
unidentified
|
No? | |
Jamie says no? | ||
Jamie, are you in quicksand? | ||
No, there's videos on it. | ||
I was going to say I've seen one recently. | ||
So if you end up stuck in quicksand, the best thing to do is if your phone isn't fucked up, set it up to take a video and then send that video to ilovemudboys at gmail.com. | ||
It's my private email. | ||
I will come to you. | ||
Trust me, it seems like I won't get to you, but I will come to you. | ||
After I come on you, I'll pull you out. | ||
Imagine that usually a thing. | ||
I think you fall backwards. | ||
You have a service, and your service is you get people out of the mud, and you give them $1,200, but you've got to jerk off on their face while they're trying to get out of the mud. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You go out there with like big mud shoes, like snowshoes, but only for mud. | ||
And you come out there and fucking whack one off in there. | ||
Okay. | ||
All right, we're good. | ||
Deal's a deal. | ||
And then you harness them up to a rope and hitch it to your winch and drag them out of the swamp. | ||
Think of the bad luck. | ||
And you give them money, though. | ||
Give them $1,200. | ||
Here's $1,200. | ||
Thank you. | ||
But to me, that would be a great scene. | ||
Somebody does get stuck in quicksand and they see boots and they're like, thank God, thank God. | ||
And it is like a mud fetishist who's like, you know, like, no, I'll get to you. | ||
Don't worry. | ||
I'm going to save you. | ||
But just, you know, enjoy it for a second. | ||
What about this? | ||
unidentified
|
What if the, the fucking, the, the real mud fetishes, they set up traps. | |
So they made their own mud holes. | ||
They dug them real deep and use some real silty, very fine sort of sand. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
So if you get in there, you slide right in like it's quick sand. | ||
They have traps. | ||
They have traps. | ||
And they've got a little camera trap that sends a text to their phone and says, we got one. | ||
And then they start chewing on Viagra and start getting their dick hard and then they run out. | ||
Like a spider that catches something in its nest. | ||
But you kind of fall in love with them, you know, and then you start dating them. | ||
But then all of a sudden you realize everyone they've dated, they've saved from quicksand and you begin to realize, oh shit, they're doing it on purpose! | ||
You're looking for something like, does he have a flashlight? | ||
Let's go through his stuff here, look for a flashlight. | ||
You find schematics for how to build the perfect sand pit. | ||
You motherfucker, you tricked me! | ||
It shows the water, where the water's coming in, to make the quicksand. | ||
You need this amount of water to capture a 200-pound man. | ||
unidentified
|
There's metrics based on weight! | |
That's what he likes. | ||
He wants to get big, burly, fireman-type dudes to jerk off on their hair. | ||
That's the thrill. | ||
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
They're trapped. | ||
Maybe he knows calls for specific types of people. | ||
He knows what he'll draw, man. | ||
Like a turkey call. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Dude, have you ever gone to a spa and they're like, fuck it, I'm going to get a massage. | ||
But then you see in their catalog, they've got a mud dip that you can go into that's somehow healthy for you. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's considered a healthy thing. | ||
You're laying it up to your head. | ||
You know what I'm talking about, man? | ||
It's like mud spas. | ||
Have you ever done one of those? | ||
No, I have not. | ||
They're fucking awful. | ||
Amazing? | ||
Awful. | ||
Dude, I went in there. | ||
I was with my girlfriend at the spa, and they made it look all romantic and shit. | ||
It's like a couple's mud dip. | ||
And like, you know, there's like flowers in between them and stuff. | ||
And you see it in the picture and it looks somehow relaxing. | ||
Your brain, part of you is like, how could that, how's that going to feel good? | ||
Like, it's like just sitting in mud, but it looks kind of cool. | ||
And you know, I love getting stoned and getting massages. | ||
It's like, it might be fun when you're high, just be in mud. | ||
We got in these fucking things. | ||
They're like next to each other. | ||
And like, dude, like, yeah. | ||
They don't... | ||
Number one, they don't... | ||
Look at this picture! | ||
That's so stupid! | ||
Ah, that was like it! | ||
Somehow they make it... | ||
Whoever's doing this shit is... | ||
See if you can make a fakeie. | ||
This is a normal thing for a couple to do. | ||
And then, also, you realize they don't change the mud. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
I'm pretty sure they don't refill the mud. | ||
unidentified
|
Why would they? | |
It's dirty. | ||
It's dirty. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
So the culture that came out of some dude's balls is all mingling with your cultures and it's like breeding in the mud. | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
Exactly, dude. | ||
And not only that, but like the ones that we were in, I don't know if they had heated it wrong or whatever, but anytime my ass touched like close to the bottom, it was burning my ass. | ||
Oh, so the heater in the bottom. | ||
The heater in the bottom was like burning my ass, so I was having to do like this, I don't know what you call it, like arch my back in the mud. | ||
Like doing dips. | ||
Yeah, I was like doing dips in the mud. | ||
And then it's fucking hot as fuck, so my heart starts racing. | ||
Also, I'm like, I was pretty high, but my heart's like fucking... *laughs* My ass is getting incinerated by this thing. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
You went to a janky place. | ||
Janky Mudbath Place. | ||
Not gonna argue. | ||
That's actually the name of the place. | ||
Janky's Mudbath Place. | ||
Where does the expression janky come from? | ||
Like a janky, like a shitty, clunky version. | ||
That one might be racist. | ||
Gotta be careful. | ||
That one might be one of them secret racist words you didn't know was racist. | ||
Oh, fuck. | ||
You've been saying janky, and they're like, well, let me bring you back to the genocide of the Iguam people. | ||
Jesus. | ||
unidentified
|
What? | |
I wouldn't... | ||
I wouldn't be surprised. | ||
What is the etymology of janky? | ||
No idea. | ||
That's why I asked. | ||
Are you sure you don't know, Joe? | ||
I definitely don't know. | ||
I'm 100% innocent. | ||
What do we got? | ||
He just dies. | ||
I just want to make sure that I'm not stepping over any boundaries by using janky because I want to be a good ally. | ||
It's probably not connected to anything. | ||
It just sounds like a word. | ||
It sounds like a bad word. | ||
I think it was close to junky. | ||
Oh, there you go. | ||
Switch to janky. | ||
I'm trying to read through this quickly. | ||
That makes sense. | ||
That does offend me. | ||
I don't like the term junky. | ||
Janky's good. | ||
Janky's like you've got a car with a fucked up brake. | ||
You know, that's this fucking janky brake job. | ||
It's not that old, though. | ||
Only in the 90s. | ||
I might have invented it. | ||
Maybe if I did. | ||
Janky. | ||
Since it's African-American slang from the 90s. | ||
There, that makes sense. | ||
That makes sense. | ||
Early citations in the 90s. | ||
Yeah, so... | ||
Who wrote that? | ||
Who wrote the article I'm looking at? | ||
I mean, now that I know them, it's just weird. | ||
We hear a thing like that, and we're like, alright, that must be true. | ||
The first book they found it in... | ||
This person wrote the article. | ||
It said, Russ, The Longest War, written by Jonathan Waldman. | ||
By the way, I'm very much kidding if it wasn't clear. | ||
I don't really think I made that word up. | ||
I was joking. | ||
It's amazing how attuned you get to, like, comments that you, like, your brain is, like, you're making... | ||
I just don't want anybody to really... | ||
I was thinking that, like, that could be misinterpreted. | ||
That's my word. | ||
I created it. | ||
What's another great word that they don't use anymore? | ||
That I started using recently? | ||
Oh, fresh. | ||
I started using fresh lately. | ||
Like, that looks fresh. | ||
And I say it like that. | ||
I don't say it with a normal voice. | ||
Fresh. | ||
So it's like, that looks fresh. | ||
No, you don't. | ||
Yes, I do. | ||
When things look good. | ||
Fresh. | ||
Fresh. | ||
Things looking fresh. | ||
Oh, you get like a... | ||
Yeah, I hear it in the back. | ||
It gets like... | ||
Looks fresh. | ||
A little vibrato there. | ||
Fresh. | ||
It's a good word. | ||
It's a good word. | ||
We need more beautiful adjectives for cool shit. | ||
So I started bringing back fresh. | ||
Hey, what's your policy about cursing around your kids? | ||
I gave up. | ||
I gave up. | ||
You did? | ||
Yeah, I told them just don't swear. | ||
Don't swear around other people. | ||
There was too many times they caught me on the phone. | ||
Right. | ||
My nine-year-old especially. | ||
She's the one who's always correcting me. | ||
Hey, with your potty language. | ||
She says that? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
She's hilarious. | ||
She likes to correct me. | ||
I try not to say it as much as I would say it with you. | ||
But every now and then, I'll let a fuck word fly or a shit word fly. | ||
But it has to make sense. | ||
Dude. | ||
The funniest story, I realize I say it too much, was when my daughter was three. | ||
We had gone skiing together, and we were all packing up our stuff, and her helmet did not go in her bag. | ||
It wasn't in her bag. | ||
And I'm like, alright, everybody packed up, and I'm like, hey, your helmet and your bag. | ||
And she looks at the helmet, looks at the bag, and she just goes, shit. | ||
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
She was three! | ||
unidentified
|
Me and my wife were just like, oh no. | |
It did it. | ||
unidentified
|
Three. | |
But that's the right word to use. | ||
Shit. | ||
What are we doing? | ||
We aren't even in that world. | ||
You and I are not even in that world. | ||
Like the world of you can't say words. | ||
You can't say that word at work. | ||
We don't even live in that world, and yet we're raising our kids for that world. | ||
That seems to be a little crazy. | ||
And I understand, like, look, if I worked in an office somewhere or if I had to deal with people professionally, I wouldn't be dropping F-bombs all day. | ||
You can't. | ||
People get upset. | ||
They don't like it. | ||
They want you to behave like a business person. | ||
They'll turn you into human resources if you have a funny joke about Puerto Ricans. | ||
You can't. | ||
You can't. | ||
There's no jokes. | ||
There's no laughter. | ||
You can't. | ||
You gotta... | ||
So... | ||
When you're telling your kids not to say certain words around other people, you're telling them that because you want them to be polite. | ||
You don't want people to feel uncomfortable. | ||
But you should never have them think that there's something wrong with those fucking words. | ||
Those words are important. | ||
I can't really explain it to them because I can't really say it the way I want to say it. | ||
It would just be too sensitive. | ||
Like, I couldn't say... | ||
I can't say... | ||
Sometimes, when someone's telling you something that you know isn't true, and they're telling you, you want to be able to look it in the eye and go, hey, that guy's a fucking idiot. | ||
But I can't say that to a nine-year-old. | ||
Right. | ||
It's just too intense. | ||
Right. | ||
It's too intense. | ||
Right. | ||
Like, if you say, this person's an idiot, that's one thing. | ||
But if you say, this person's a fucking idiot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's a different thing. | ||
It's another level of thing. | ||
And you need to know what's what. | ||
Especially when the shit goes down. | ||
You need to know who's just a dummy and who's a fucking idiot. | ||
Right? | ||
Some guys just make mistakes or they think they know better or they do something stupid and it puts everybody at risk. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But they're not doing it on purpose. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
And there's some people that think they want to run the whole show. | ||
Those people are fucking idiots. | ||
Right. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
There's certain people that steal from you. | ||
They'll break in your house when they know you're not home. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Those people are fucking idiots. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
I know what you mean. | ||
Yeah. | ||
There's a different level. | ||
And if we don't use the right words, then what do we do? | ||
We're going to limit a kid's ability to express themselves? | ||
Right. | ||
The words aren't changing. | ||
They're not changing you. | ||
It's just another tool for expression. | ||
And swear words? | ||
Like, really? | ||
Swear words? | ||
You're going to stop using swear words. | ||
You're going to make people upset about swear words. | ||
Get the fuck out of here. | ||
It's ridiculous. | ||
Yeah, no, no, no. | ||
I know, man. | ||
I just, like, I get it. | ||
That's, like, kind of my wife and I have decided that, and, like, some of my friends or parents have also said, just teach them not to say those words. | ||
Just teach them to be nice. | ||
Or when the right time to say those words is. | ||
It's just, like, listening to, like, I don't know, like... | ||
This morning, I put on, for no reason, Ten Crack Commandments. | ||
Then my son was in the other room, and he comes walking in like he's just learning to dance. | ||
And then I pick him up, he's laughing, and we're dancing. | ||
And then I'm like, oh, fuck. | ||
We're dancing to the Ten Crack Commandments right now. | ||
He doesn't know... | ||
What's being said? | ||
But you know what I mean? | ||
It's like, fuck, I don't know if I, even though he doesn't, even the fact he probably, hopefully doesn't understand, at least, hopefully does it. | ||
I still like, I don't know, it's like you're saying, it's too much, the energy's too intense. | ||
Yeah, it's very aggressive. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, there's certain, you know, You want to shelter them a little bit from the most dark shit. | ||
You don't want to show your kid some murder movie, like the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan when they're four. | ||
You don't want to say, sit down. | ||
This is what happens when people go to war. | ||
This is the closest that we have that represents what war is like. | ||
unidentified
|
Ready? | |
Seeing people's guts hanging out and legs blown off. | ||
You're not going to show that to a four-year-old? | ||
Never. | ||
All right. | ||
Me neither. | ||
That's what it seems like if I act like I act with my friends around little kids. | ||
So I pull it in a lot. | ||
A lot. | ||
But occasionally I'll say a shit. | ||
Sure. | ||
But I don't... | ||
I just try to... | ||
There's words that... | ||
I don't want to lose. | ||
The only reason why I think a lot of these swear words, like the F word or the shit word or whatever, if you're at work and you can't say those, why not? | ||
What is that? | ||
What kind of job is that? | ||
We're all the grown-ups now. | ||
Remember when we were children? | ||
We thought that there was a system that was put in place by enlightened beings, and these enlightened beings, adults, they knew better. | ||
We resisted, but we thought they eventually were correct. | ||
Yes. | ||
And then you get to be a certain age like, oh, that's nonsense. | ||
There's no adults. | ||
There's just people that got older. | ||
Right. | ||
There's just people. | ||
So as people, you have to limit your language. | ||
The only thing that's good is when someone who you don't expect to says, get the fuck out of here, when they say it's even better. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Right? | ||
Yeah, sure. | ||
A woman that you think would be very reserved, very professional, and she's like, that chick's a cunt. | ||
Like, you're like, no! | ||
Yeah. | ||
I love that. | ||
When you realize someone you thought was a square is not only not a square, but like a million times more out there than you are, but they're like... | ||
They're trapped. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Or they're in camo. | ||
They just have like figured out a way to like... | ||
Not reveal to you or to the world that because they like understood it's a little easier. | ||
People don't realize that unless you're around cool people. | ||
Those are the best moments when that window opens up and you realize, oh, fuck, man, I'm such a dope. | ||
I had you completely pegged as something that you're not at all. | ||
And those are really like, whoa, fuck, what's that called? | ||
It's not real. | ||
It's a marijuana cough. | ||
I know, man. | ||
I'm a hypochondriac, Joe, with allergies. | ||
Everybody is now. | ||
I have allergies. | ||
I have seasonal allergies. | ||
And, you know, any time before this was happening, any time I would get sick, I'd be like, well, this might be the end. | ||
And now, like, all of us who are like that, we're like, it's really intense, man, because, like, any demonstration... | ||
My birthday was the other day. | ||
They deliver booze in LA now. | ||
They'll deliver mixed drinks to you now. | ||
They'll probably deliver bullets. | ||
You can probably get bullets brought to your door now. | ||
Hopefully not too fast. | ||
I'm sorry. | ||
Quick bullet delivery. | ||
Anyway, man, I was just hungover. | ||
But there was a moment where I'm like... | ||
Is this a hangover? | ||
What's this headache? | ||
To me, that's the part of this thing that I haven't seen it get acknowledged that much. | ||
It's just the psychological pressure of what's going on. | ||
The way it's got to be psychologically. | ||
Think of all the people you and I know who are already teetering at the Very edge of sanity. | ||
And like, imagine them alone in an apartment for a month with like the news telling them that we don't know when we can let you out. | ||
Like, whoa, how many people are like really losing their shit? | ||
And like, I'm not losing my shit, but at least a couple of times a day, I'll have a real claustrophobic moment. | ||
Like, I can't explain it. | ||
It's like a... | ||
I don't know if it's a panic attack. | ||
It's just like this sense of like, oh, this fucking sucks. | ||
I don't want to drive by Trader Joe's and see people wearing face masks with six feet in between each of them and the fucking weirdness of it all. | ||
People are driving weird right now. | ||
And it's just like, what the fuck? | ||
People are driving weird. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Real aggressive. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
That... | ||
People, I don't think, are acknowledging the fact, and they need to, that if you're feeling a little off right now, that's normal. | ||
You probably should acknowledge that. | ||
Otherwise, people are going to start thinking they're really going nuts. | ||
When it's like, no, you just have some kind of, probably a new mental illness. | ||
There'll probably be a new name. | ||
For a COVID-related mental illness, you know, like pandemic-associated claustrophobia syndrome or some shit like that, you know? | ||
Some, like, thing that is a new thing because we've never had to do this before. | ||
Of course, 100%. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, do you know how many people are going to get sued for this? | ||
Do you know, I mean, how many people are going to sue the government for the close downs? | ||
You know how many people are going to go crazy? | ||
Yeah. | ||
How many businesses are going to be lost? | ||
How many lives are turned upside down? | ||
You know how many people? | ||
Fuck, man. | ||
Divorces. | ||
Oh my god, so many. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Dude, so many. | ||
You know, people forced into these high-pressure situations they didn't anticipate. | ||
And then some people falling apart, people with drug problems, they accelerate because they need a relief, they get anxiety from all this. | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
And we're just beginning it, man. | ||
We're still three weeks away from at least here where this state is going to open up, right? | ||
May 15th? | ||
Yeah. | ||
But what do you think is going to happen in Georgia? | ||
Do you think when they open Georgia back up, you're going to get another series of people that have it? | ||
What do you think it's going to be? | ||
What do you think, if you had a guess? | ||
Man, that's the problem. | ||
All the data sources, some of them are so very different, it seems like, that it's like, you know, you have people who've won Nobel Prizes, you know, saying what they think it is, and you have other people who are doctors saying what they think it is, and those things don't quite match to the point where it comes down to, it's not like what I think is going to happen, it's what I hope is going to happen, which is like... | ||
That it just, not only that the curve keeps flattening, maybe not necessarily because, maybe because it's mutating. | ||
Maybe because herd immunity. | ||
Maybe because, you know, I don't know who to believe. | ||
You turn on Fox News, you see one story. | ||
You turn on CNN, you see the other story. | ||
You go on the internet, it's a fucking meteor that's going to hit. | ||
You go, you know, it depends on who you're talking to. | ||
5G. 5G? You know, a variety of things. | ||
A low-level bioweapon that's being combined with a horrific, powerful psyops operation. | ||
Who the fuck knows, Joe? | ||
We don't know. | ||
So it's like, that to me is the real unnerving quality of this outside of worrying like if you go outside, like every time you cough, I'm like, mother fuck, I should have worn my mask. | ||
I'm doomed when my wife sees it, she's gonna fucking kill my ass. | ||
But like, that, you know, just that. | ||
Those moments that would normally just go completely unnoticed. | ||
Like, those to me, that new reality... | ||
They get highlighted. | ||
Yeah, and brother, that is like... | ||
That's another form of virus. | ||
It's fear. | ||
And it's paranoia. | ||
And it's a meme that spreads. | ||
It changes your outlook. | ||
It changes the way you interact with life. | ||
It changes your outlook. | ||
And it changes the actual course of your life. | ||
You'll be operating with fear and operating with anxiety. | ||
And everyone's thrust into that without anything bad that they've done. | ||
For no fault of their own, they're thrust into the situation where even though they've worked really hard, they've been really disciplined, they've done the right thing, they've been conservative, they take care of their health, all the checks, everything. | ||
But still, all of a sudden work goes away. | ||
For everybody. | ||
Nobody did anything wrong. | ||
So everybody's thrust into this situation. | ||
It's really the ultimate haves and have-nots moment. | ||
What's really interesting is right when Bernie Sanders just stepped out of the race. | ||
This is the example. | ||
Of why we need some sort of comprehensive plan for everybody if everything goes wrong. | ||
This is right here. | ||
The idea that capitalism moves the world, yes it does. | ||
It seems to motivate most of what we do. | ||
But the idea that there's not more that we can do For the people of the community of the United States of America as a community. | ||
Right. | ||
Because that healthcare and education and stop people from being robbed. | ||
Like, stop some predatory lending. | ||
Stop all these things that you can clearly see people are just getting fucked over from. | ||
Right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Spend more money on healthcare. | ||
Like, we need that now. | ||
Like, yeah, we went through a nice, sweet spot where there was no real problems other than occasionally little blips of bad flus and bad diseases, and we squashed them real quick. | ||
This is a big one. | ||
It hit the whole... | ||
And this is only... | ||
As far as terrible pandemics, the amount of people that it kills per people that get it is not as high as it is for some of the more horrendous diseases. | ||
We got lucky. | ||
We should prepare for the worst. | ||
We should prepare for airborne Ebola. | ||
We should prepare for all that shit. | ||
We should think about it the way we think about arms races. | ||
How much money they put into the military and how much money they put into the war against viruses? | ||
Well, the war against viruses just killed 50,000 people at home. | ||
Imagine if China just had just launched missiles into American cities and killed 50,000 people. | ||
We would be at fucking war. | ||
All of our resources would be dedicated to that, right? | ||
Why aren't all of our resources being dedicated to fighting off fucking diseases and viruses? | ||
This is a real wake-up call for that. | ||
It's also a wake-up call for power grid people, people that are worried about the power grid go down. | ||
It's a wake-up call for people that haven't had food stockpiled in their house. | ||
Wake-up call for people that are living extended, like they've really extended their reach as far as how much their rent is and how much their car payment is. | ||
They're really stretching it. | ||
Well, boom! | ||
Something like this happens and you're never going to play catch up. | ||
You're barely keeping up with your lifestyle before all this went down. | ||
And again, through no fault of your own. | ||
So you've got to kind of prepare now. | ||
People are going to have to look at this like, okay, now we know something can happen that we never thought could happen before and the whole world shuts down. | ||
Now we know. | ||
That's it. | ||
But we should act accordingly in how we run things. | ||
Now we know. | ||
Well, that's the silver lining. | ||
I mean, like that's the silver lining. | ||
It's like when you have a thing happen that you realize like, you know, whatever, like in your car, you get lucky and you notice that the tire is like super flat and you fill it up. | ||
You just didn't notice or whatever. | ||
You see a thing and it saves you from a later fucking thing that could have been a million times worse. | ||
But you know, man, the wake up call to me is It's no joke that you need to at least be on some terms with your neighbors, and it's no joke that you need to understand how to grow food out of the ground and some basic first aid and stuff like that, and also to always have gas in your car, man. | ||
The other day we went to get groceries and left a credit card at the house. | ||
But the car was kind of low on fuel because I hadn't gassed it up like I should have. | ||
And the combination of suddenly not being able to put gas in the car and these two dumb mistakes. | ||
It wasn't just a normal shitty day where your car runs out of gas. | ||
Now it's your cars run out of gas during a pandemic, meaning you got to call somebody to come and put gas in your car or walk somewhere to get gas. | ||
That's a whole different walk than before. | ||
And that's asking someone to come and help you is kind of like asking them, hey, would you mind taking a I mean, I know you're wearing a mask and everything, but you know what I mean? | ||
So suddenly, fuck-ups in this kind of environment, they mean a lot more than fuck-ups in, like, the previous world that we were in. | ||
And that's teaching me a real kind of responsibility, you know, like having some cash on hand, like stuff like that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
What we, you know, we should always be doing that. | ||
And to me, that is one of the, you know, and I hate using, everyone's using the term silver lining right now. | ||
And it's like, anytime you say that, it's like, yeah, it's a silver lining on people who drown in their own fucking mucus. | ||
It's not the, you know, it's fucked up. | ||
But I guess one of the silver linings in it is just that, the fact that it's like, look, man, Trump just was talking about maybe we should inject ourselves with Lysol. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Okay. | ||
How crazy is that video? | ||
Have you seen the one when they focus on the lady who's the science advisor and she's sitting there listening to him say all this shit? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Have you seen that? | |
I have. | ||
Sam Harris tweeted it. | ||
He said, when you look into the abyss, the abyss looks into you. | ||
Ah! | ||
That's it! | ||
You know, but also in that look, you know, I saw her thinking like, listen motherfuckers, who's in line? | ||
You want this job? | ||
I'm doing what I can to steer this crazy ship as best as I fucking can, and there's not much I could do. | ||
But it's like, you know, you see somebody seriously say to an entire planet that it might be a good idea to inject Lysol into your body. | ||
Let's hear it. | ||
Let's hear it. | ||
Let me hear it. | ||
Start from the beginning. | ||
I think you gotta actually double click on it. | ||
On my computer I had to. | ||
To get the sound out of it. | ||
Nothing? | ||
No, I don't hear it. | ||
That was Duncan. | ||
That was me. | ||
It's haunted! | ||
Anyway, bottom line is, he's saying wacky shit, and the focus is on this lady, and as she's watching him, she's like, I can't even fucking believe I have to handle this. | ||
Yeah, and she does. | ||
Dude, but to me... | ||
We could get the disinfectant into their body. | ||
That's maybe possible. | ||
We could get them to drink Lysol. | ||
Light. | ||
Powerful light. | ||
We could use light and kill it from outside or inside. | ||
I don't know how you do it. | ||
There you go. | ||
Because you see a thing like that and it's like, okay, lean into that. | ||
Lean into that is the thing that you can count on. | ||
That's the thing saying inject Lysol. | ||
That's the kind of thing where your craziest friend, if they said that to you, you would be considering calling their friends or their mom to be like, hey, Jack, he's having a hardcore manic episode. | ||
He's talking about injecting Lysol into himself. | ||
You better do something. | ||
That's the fucking president. | ||
And to me, what that tells me is like, Motherfucker, you need gas in your car. | ||
You need to make sure your phone is juiced up. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
You need to make sure that you are like... | ||
You gotta be ready. | ||
You gotta be ready, because if we think we're gonna lean into some imaginary hammock, Made of people who are saying that we should inject ourselves with Lysol, then it's our fault. | ||
Let's imagine, let's say you went into the forest and you got attacked by a tiger. | ||
But right before you went into the forest, you said to somebody, hey, do you think I should go in that forest? | ||
There are tigers there? | ||
And they're like, no. | ||
And then they start shooting up with Lysol. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
If you go in that forest and the tiger gets you, that's your fault. | ||
You fucking listen to a dude who thought you could shoot up Lysol. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
that's your what was he thinking while he was saying nice He's probably like, there's got to be an intelligent way to get out of this fucking subject that I've already started and I'm already coming up with perhaps, for instance, maybe you could... | ||
So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful light... | ||
And I think you said... | ||
Powerful light. | ||
That hasn't been checked, but you're going to test it? | ||
And then I said, supposing you're working on it inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. | ||
And I think you said you're going to test that, too. | ||
unidentified
|
Sounds interesting. | |
And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute. | ||
unidentified
|
And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or... | |
Almost a cleaning, because you see it gets in the lungs. | ||
Cleaning! | ||
A cleaning! | ||
A cleaning of the lungs! | ||
Can we take your lungs out and spray them with Lysol? | ||
Spray them down, put your lungs through a car wash. | ||
Like, what? | ||
Yeah. | ||
What a crazy thing to say. | ||
A cleaning? | ||
A cleaning. | ||
Give him a cleaning. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Imagine being his doctor and you have to listen to him say this, like, so why don't you do the disinfectant inside as a cleaning? | ||
Can you dip my liver in bleach? | ||
Can you take my liver out and just microwave it? | ||
So to me, you see that and it's like, okay, well, I'm not quite certain that that is where I'm going to get my data stream from because that's a Lysol person. | ||
But then there must be a thing we can do regardless of the fact that clearly... | ||
Bro, you wouldn't even talk like that on a podcast. | ||
Dude, I would never say that in a million years. | ||
But imagine, imagine you have zero expertise in a certain subject. | ||
You're talking to someone who's like some expert in this said subject. | ||
And you're proposing these outlandish, like you're on a podium. | ||
You're not even having a private conversation in front of everybody. | ||
You're somehow or another having a side conversation where you're proposing these ridiculous ideas that show that you don't understand how disinfectant works. | ||
Why is that conversation even taking place? | ||
Also, the other thing is because he did ask the question, that is a time for someone on that side of the room to go, No! | ||
Look at her! | ||
You can't! | ||
Why didn't she say that? | ||
She knows she can't do that. | ||
She knows if she interrupts him and goes, What? | ||
You can't do that? | ||
You can't inject disinfection? | ||
He'd probably be upset. | ||
And she wants to do the best work that she can do. | ||
And this is just some nonsense she has to handle along the way. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, I guess so. | ||
It's just a bad path. | ||
Look, first of all, I mean, look, the guy works some ungodly amount of hours in a day, right? | ||
He's gonna do some dumb shit, like, and he wings it a lot, right? | ||
So he probably was stuck on that conversation of things that might be able to be done, and maybe you could do strong, ultra-violent light, like, in the skin. | ||
Then all of a sudden he's like, oh my god, I'm laying out Possible ways that you could cure this there. | ||
I better keep going. | ||
I better have more than one. | ||
Yeah, and there's like a disinfectant. | ||
That's right disinfectant Disinfectant maybe inside or outside they have a way of doing that. | ||
Yeah, and then you say and then he goes to her like he's looking for support Like I think you said maybe I think you said maybe you're looking at that Yeah, man It definitely has that sense of like when you had to give a report at school and you hadn't prepared for it That's it! | ||
That's exactly what it's like! | ||
Well, who were the Assyrian rebels? | ||
Well, they were from Assyria. | ||
unidentified
|
They were rebels. | |
I heard they were tremendous rebels. | ||
They were fighters. | ||
They fought, and they fought long and hard in Syria, in areas around Syria, and some people in areas around Syria referred to them as rebels and said they were some of the most intense rebels in the region. | ||
No, Assyria. | ||
It's a different place. | ||
unidentified
|
Duncan, you wrote a report about the wrong place. | |
Assyrian. | ||
I was saying that. | ||
You heard me wrong. | ||
Yeah, you just heard me wrong. | ||
I can't give you an A. How many times did you bullshit your way through those things in high school? | ||
A lot of the times, man. | ||
I think it was the Red Badge of Courage, which even now I can't remember. | ||
I think it's about the Revolutionary War. | ||
And I believe that I didn't read it at all. | ||
Clearly I didn't read it because I still can't remember. | ||
Which war it was about, but I remember just having not read the book at all, having to write a report on it, where I think I said it in Vietnam or something, or maybe it was a civil war, and she was just like, that's not even the war that it was that it happened at. | ||
You know, I completely failed. | ||
One of those Fs where the teachers met angry. | ||
They carved it into the paper. | ||
Dude, I found out about CliffsNotes when I was in high school. | ||
I couldn't believe it. | ||
I'm like, this is a gift from God. | ||
CliffsNotes. | ||
You just gotta buy it on your own. | ||
You gotta buy the book, but it's a way more... | ||
You can read it in an hour. | ||
That's right. | ||
But it still sucked. | ||
You had to pay money for a cliff. | ||
Yeah, but I thought it was cheating. | ||
I was like, they're cheating, though. | ||
They're giving you a way to... | ||
This is not so you can learn better. | ||
This is so you can pass the test. | ||
Right. | ||
That's what this is. | ||
You're giving me like, oh yeah, and then Mikey said to her, get off my fucking porch. | ||
That's page 30. Yeah. | ||
There's a little gray area a few years ago where kids could just copy and paste other people's reports from years past because they were all digital and teachers didn't know this was a thing they could check. | ||
They now have checking tools to find out plagiarism and whatnot, but so many kids probably for a few years just did literally nothing. | ||
I'm sure. | ||
What a disaster. | ||
That's right. | ||
I'm sure. | ||
You get out of school and you graduate high school, you can't read. | ||
Like, what? | ||
You can't read? | ||
I didn't pay attention. | ||
I can't. | ||
Just play video games. | ||
I can read a little bit of video games now. | ||
Yeah, just made my way through. | ||
Well, I mean, you know, there's like, that's one of the, isn't that, no, the people who went to, recently went to jail for like, bribe, for getting their kids into college. | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
It's kind of a version of that, except with your kids, right? | ||
You're like, you're like, just, the kids aren't, aren't supposed to be in college because they haven't done any work in high school and they don't know what they're doing, but if you pay enough money, you get them in there. | ||
It's like, And also, aren't they doing something where they get people to go and take SATs for your kid? | ||
Like, you figure out a way to, like, it's an identity theft thing where you can even get someone to go and, like, do the test as your kid using fake ID and shit. | ||
So it's like you send in an operative that isn't your kid to take the test so you can get into a nice school. | ||
That whole thing was so crazy. | ||
They spent so much money to get kids in school that didn't want to be good students. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
That's right. | ||
Almost like you'd think you could buy a kid's way to enthusiastic focus. | ||
Well, there you go. | ||
I mean, there's the whole problem, isn't it? | ||
What is that? | ||
This is from the district attorney's office in Massachusetts. | ||
One of the photos that was used to show this girl's high school rowing career that she got a scholarship on. | ||
That's a workout machine. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
And I was supposed to be like, yeah, look at her in her varsity. | ||
Oh, fuck, man. | ||
What? | ||
Wow. | ||
So there was no photos of her actually rowing out on a boat? | ||
That's part of the thing. | ||
Having people take tests, they went and staged photos, too, to be like, look, the person did that, saw allegedly, according to the court. | ||
Can you imagine how mad real rowers would be at you if they found out you got a scholarship based on a fucking rowing machine photo? | ||
You'd be so mad. | ||
Was it for scholarships or was it just trying to get them in? | ||
I don't think they got scholarships, but to be on the rowing team, or whatever it's called, I forget off the top of my head. | ||
Is it like good for your GPA or some shit? | ||
It's a way to get in. | ||
Oh, way to get in. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, right. | ||
So that and the bribe. | ||
Extracurricular activity kind of stuff on your record and whatnot. | ||
So they just fudged that and then bribed the rest of it. | ||
Do you think the kids knew? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, you know when your parents are like, hey... | ||
We just bought this rowing machine. | ||
Why? | ||
Just don't worry about it. | ||
We're just going to take a picture of you in a rowing machine. | ||
Like, sure, you know. | ||
You're getting a picture taken of you to try to get you into this school that your dad went to or whatever. | ||
You're complicit to some degree. | ||
Yeah, you have to be a little bit, right? | ||
Yeah, a little bit. | ||
Go to that picture. | ||
She hasn't even broke a sweat. | ||
Well, it has her face covered enough so you can't see. | ||
I want to see. | ||
Close in on that. | ||
She didn't look sweaty to me. | ||
Crew is the word I was trying to think of. | ||
She looks like she's barely started exercising. | ||
There's another one down here, too. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Come on, son. | ||
I don't see no sweat. | ||
That's a better one. | ||
Because look, stop. | ||
Go up. | ||
Look at that. | ||
That's a gray t-shirt. | ||
Gray t-shirts look sweaty instantly. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Instantly. | ||
This is hilarious. | ||
She probably pulled it back a couple times. | ||
Am I done yet? | ||
God, you can't even get me in the UFC. Fucking loser. | ||
My father's a loser and he takes pills. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No shit, dude! | ||
I want you to love me. | ||
Well, get me in the fucking UFC. All my friends are going, dude, the thing that's really fucked up is like there's some kid whose parents are making 20k a year who's working his fucking ass off, you know, just somehow managing to study... | ||
Non-stop to try to get into a good school who doesn't get into the school because of that shit. | ||
That's the satanic part is like they buy their way in and that's someone's place. | ||
They have a limited number of places, meaning like theoretically someone doesn't get into the school who could be the person who is going to, you know, invent teleportation or some shit. | ||
Isn't that weird with schools that you have your first choice, your second choice. | ||
Billy got his third choice. | ||
Fuck. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Fuck. | ||
Billy's going home. | ||
Where's he going? | ||
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South Dakota. | |
What's in South Dakota? | ||
Flat ground. | ||
Dude, I get it though. | ||
I mean, I get wanting to get into some Ivy League Illuminati school. | ||
I think that'd be cool. | ||
Especially if you're in. | ||
If you're in the Illuminati and your kids are dope. | ||
Too bad! | ||
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You're the Illuminati with an embarrassing kid! | |
Like, I don't swear that much around my kids. | ||
My kids don't know how I talk around my friends. | ||
What if that's how it is with, like, Illuminati, too? | ||
Like, these kids don't even know their parents were the Illuminati. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You know, and you're like, look, I'm trying to get you to be in a better position in life, but I was working all the time. | ||
I wasn't around. | ||
I didn't push you hard enough. | ||
No shit. | ||
But I got you into Yale. | ||
Or they fucking know you're in it and they're just like, you're like, did you get into my fucking adrenochrome again? | ||
They're like breaking into your vaults, you know, taking your fucking like goblets of blood and drinking it at parties. | ||
Don't drink any more of my blood! | ||
You have to stop this! | ||
You know? | ||
You join them into Skull and Bones. | ||
Don't they bring their kids to Skull and Bones? | ||
I don't think so. | ||
I think they do. | ||
I think once they're in, their son turns 30, they say, son, I'm going to show you something. | ||
They take him to the skull and bones. | ||
Don't they? | ||
They bring him in? | ||
No, if you go to school there, you get into it, right? | ||
I think that's how you get in the school. | ||
That's how you get in? | ||
Legacy. | ||
Is that how you get in or is that how you get in at Skull and Bones? | ||
I don't think the whole school gets to be Skull and Bones. | ||
That's how you get accepted is what I meant. | ||
That's how you get into the school. | ||
Isn't that funny? | ||
If you're in a place like Yale, which is very exclusive and very prestigious already, some creeps, like, that's not enough. | ||
I want to get in a secret cult dick-sucking society. | ||
What do they do? | ||
They don't suck dicks, do they? | ||
Wasn't there a rumor that they make each other blow each other and take photos of it so that they have something over them? | ||
That was one of the crazy online conspiracy theories, right? | ||
They make every guy suck a dick and they take Polaroids of it, so they always have it. | ||
They hold over you. | ||
I think that's just fraternity stuff, but yeah. | ||
Is that normal fraternity stuff? | ||
I mean, Bert's talked about that biscuit thing or whatever for it. | ||
Yeah, they would jerk off on a biscuit. | ||
Right, yeah. | ||
That's the circle jerk thing. | ||
And the last guy to come had to eat the biscuit. | ||
But no one's really doing it except for the one idiot. | ||
Yeah, one guy who can't come because he's just jerking off thinking about guys all the time. | ||
You just go, yeah, I sucked a bunch of my friend's dicks. | ||
Who fucking cares? | ||
I mean, aren't we in a time now where like a picture of me emerges sucking all my friend's dicks? | ||
I think there's more to it than that. | ||
I think they peg you or something. | ||
They take pictures of them wearing a strap on. | ||
So you got pegged! | ||
Yeah, but some people don't want everybody, you know, they want to rise through the branch at Raytheon and get to the top. | ||
Everyone at Raytheon gets pegged. | ||
Like, you know, that's just like, fuck it. | ||
Like, yeah, we all get pegged. | ||
Now what? | ||
So what? | ||
We're inventing bombs. | ||
Now, you know, like, who cares? | ||
Of course we get pegged. | ||
Yeah, but the guy's wearing a goat costume. | ||
So what? | ||
I like to wear a goat costume when I get pegged. | ||
I like too much kinky shit. | ||
It's like, goddammit, I hope we get to a time where, like, they take pictures of someone doing a fucking thing that's legit fucked up, so that, you know, and they get banished for it. | ||
It's like, I'm, god forbid, like, I can't even imagine the Polaroids that could emerge of weird shit I've done, you know? | ||
I can only imagine. | ||
You can't imagine. | ||
I can't. | ||
But that being said, it's like, yeah, I wonder what, I think what The initiation... | ||
I get it. | ||
Like, it is... | ||
Look, let's face it. | ||
You're not going to chop it right here. | ||
It's probably fun to be a part of a little tiny group that's a part of an exclusive group. | ||
Right? | ||
You got the exclusive group. | ||
That's Yale. | ||
And then you get the little skull and bones. | ||
We all get together. | ||
All brothers in... | ||
In the room, they probably have secret words they have to say in Latin and shit. | ||
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. | ||
I imagine, based on the way I have come to understand things, whatever it is, is way more boring than we imagine. | ||
Because, you know what I mean? | ||
Probably. | ||
When you don't know what a thing is, you always project the worst thing on it. | ||
My guess is it's boring as fuck. | ||
It's probably just some college bullshit where people who are in a frat sit around and make dumb jokes and do stupid shit and it's nothing. | ||
They probably don't even peg you. | ||
They probably just take a Polaroid of your asshole. | ||
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Got it. | |
Look. | ||
Keep your mouth shut. | ||
Yeah, we have a picture of your asshole. | ||
It's your soul's fingerprint. | ||
Don't show anybody. | ||
It's your soul's fingerprint. | ||
Imagine if your asshole told a lot about you. | ||
That's the big discovery! | ||
Like, you look at a person's eyes, you know, and you see their soul. | ||
It's the windows to the soul. | ||
What if the asshole is like, you really know whether you like someone just by looking at their asshole. | ||
Something about the asshole tells you things. | ||
Books come out decoding your asshole. | ||
You know, like people read hands. | ||
They read fingerprints. | ||
Why can't they read assholes? | ||
I bet assholes tell you a lot, just like someone's eyebrows do. | ||
Someone's got like mean eyebrows, like, whoa, that guy looks aggressive. | ||
If a guy's got big, thick, bushy eyebrows, and he's not mean, I get suspicious. | ||
He's all friendly, with these big crazy fucking eyebrows, but all the villains have big crazy eyebrows. | ||
They're all angry. | ||
They're all these crazy eyebrows. | ||
Right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's just like, man, for one, here's probably for sure. | ||
We don't know that you can't tell a person's future from their asshole yet because no one's thought of it. | ||
That could be the new thing that people pick up as a business during this pandemic. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Asshole reading. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Or what if it's like a... | ||
What if it's like a... | ||
Scan it. | ||
A scan! | ||
A QR code. | ||
Your asshole flots into a QR code. | ||
All this time we've been looking for alien signals from space. | ||
We didn't know it was in our assholes. | ||
Yeah, it was all photos of our assholes. | ||
If you put them together on a grid, it gives us the diagram of how to build a spaceship to get out of here. | ||
We just have to have all the photos. | ||
It's like a giant jigsaw puzzle with 8 billion pieces. | ||
You take 8 billion assholes and you put them on a grid and you'll see the schematics. | ||
Behold. | ||
It'll tell us exactly when the sun's going to supernova. | ||
About 50 years. | ||
Maybe. | ||
What if that's what the quantum computer, the first thing it says is, I need pictures of all the assholes on the planet. | ||
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Like... | |
If you vote, you have to show a photo of your asshole before you vote. | ||
You have to have it on your phone, and that's your thing. | ||
Instead of a thumbprint. | ||
No, thumbprints are not exact. | ||
Assholes are exact. | ||
Exact. | ||
And they don't get changed by workouts, or they don't, like, you know, your thumbprint, your hands can get bigger. | ||
It can be a little bit different. | ||
How do you know? | ||
I don't know that assholes don't get changed from workouts. | ||
Well, one thing they can do with your thumbprint, right? | ||
Some people burn their prints off. | ||
You can't really burn. | ||
Well, I guess you could burn your asshole into an unreadable. | ||
That's one of the levels of the CIA. Yeah, you're tired of people reading your asshole. | ||
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I can't get a good relationship because people keep reading my asshole wrong. | |
Fuck. | ||
Look I'm more than my asshole Let's end with that Dude, we just did three and a half hours. | ||
Holy shit, man! | ||
It went by so fast! | ||
It's crazy. | ||
It's four o'clock already. | ||
Listen, man, your show looks amazing. | ||
I'm very excited for you. | ||
I'm very happy for you. | ||
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Thank you. | |
Tell people once again. | ||
It's on Netflix. | ||
Thanks, Joe. | ||
It's on Netflix. | ||
It's called The Midnight Gospel. | ||
Please, just watch it. | ||
It's like, yeah, I'm very proud of it, and I think you'll enjoy it. | ||
DuncanTrustle.com. | ||
Duncan Trustle on Twitter. | ||
Duncan Trustle on Instagram. | ||
Duncan Trussell Family Art Podcast. | ||
Yes. | ||
Thank you, brother. | ||
I love you. | ||
Thank you, brother. | ||
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I love you, too. | |
Always good to see you, man. | ||
This was really fun. | ||
Thank you. | ||
Bye, everybody. | ||
See you. |