Feb. 27, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:24:29
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Two. | |
| One. | ||
| Michael, yo! | ||
| I'm going on a big tour! | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm so excited for you, bro. | ||
| I'm not missing shit. | ||
| You're wondering if I'm missing podcasts? | ||
| I only go on the weekends. | ||
| You don't go during the week? | ||
| Never. | ||
| Never. | ||
| I don't like to. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Because I have a family. | ||
| I like to be home. | ||
| That's what's up right there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, when you can do what you want to do and be like, I'm going to be gone Friday and Saturday and be back by Sunday. | ||
| Yeah, that's the way to do it, man. | ||
| I've never done the touring thing. | ||
| Like, Kreischer and a lot of those people, they go out for like a month. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I get sad. | ||
| I feel bad. | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I have kids. | ||
| Well, I got two, too, and now I have a baby girl. | ||
| Yeah, you want to be home, man. | ||
| Dude! | ||
| And my baby girl, man, she looks at me like my son never looked at me before. | ||
| Oh, it's a different thing, right? | ||
| I don't know because I don't have sons, but everybody that has both says, whoa, the girls are just so loving and sweet and the sons are just trying to light shit on fire. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they don't love the fathers. | ||
| My son could care less about me. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| It's so true. | ||
| He loves my wife. | ||
| I mean, side by side all the time. | ||
| Really? | ||
| But already, my daughter, just at three months old, my wife will hold her, and she'll keep crying. | ||
| And as soon as I grab her, she stops. | ||
| I mean, it's amazing, dude. | ||
| As long as you guys don't start getting competitive about that shit. | ||
| Sometimes people get weird. | ||
| Oh, I'm a competitive father. | ||
| But I'm not going to compete against... | ||
| Your wife. | ||
| Oh, no, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| Like, yeah, look at this. | ||
| The girl likes me more. | ||
| Hmm, how weird. | ||
| Maybe you're just not really a good mom? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I don't know. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| What's your tour? | ||
| Where are you going? | ||
| Like, everywhere? | ||
| Everywhere, bro. | ||
| I'll tell you where I'm going. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I don't even know where I'm going, honestly. | ||
| I have to read it off. | ||
| I'm going to, starting off in Des Moines, Iowa, because someone's got to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I do that because my friend John Dudley lives there. | ||
| So I'm like, fuck it, I'll come visit you. | ||
| I'll do a gig out there. | ||
| Like, legitimately. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| My buddy lives in Iowa. | ||
| You know who does that? | ||
| Bill Burr. | ||
| He loves football so much. | ||
| This is what I heard from some clubs, is he loves college football so much, he'll schedule tour dates around big games so he can be in the city already. | ||
| Oh yeah, he does that. | ||
| That's genius, man. | ||
| Well, Burr is a savage. | ||
| And he's also a man who does what he wants. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's a self-made man, Michael Yeo. | ||
| And then I'm going to Pittsburgh. | ||
| Love Pittsburgh. | ||
| Louisville. | ||
| Raleigh, North Carolina. | ||
| Charlotte, North Carolina. | ||
| Las Vegas. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| Fort Lauderdale. | ||
| Tampa and Orlando. | ||
| I do Florida like once every three years. | ||
| And every time I do Florida, I come back and I go... | ||
| You don't like it? | ||
| Crazy place. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I was about to say. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| They're barely Americans. | ||
| Barely Americans. | ||
| And I say this with love. | ||
| My sister lives there. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of rednecks in Tampa, too. | ||
| They're fucking animals. | ||
| No disrespect. | ||
| I love Tampa. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to... | ||
| Where else am I going? | ||
| Tampa, Orlando. | ||
| Oh, there it is. | ||
| Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando, Philadelphia, Lincoln, Nebraska. | ||
| I've never been to Lincoln, Nebraska. | ||
| Are you doing the Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale? | ||
| Are you doing the big arena? | ||
| I'm doing an arena. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've done the hard rock, though. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Yeah, they opened up a new... | ||
| The hard rock just opened up. | ||
| They have the guitar now. | ||
| This whole new... | ||
| A guitar? | ||
| Yeah, they changed the whole hotel to a guitar, a glass guitar. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Really? | ||
| Oh, you've got to show the picture. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| So they changed the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And they have like a 8,000 seater now, 10,000 seater. | ||
| Really? | ||
| In there? | ||
| Fort Lauderdale. | ||
| Yeah, Fort Lauderdale. | ||
| It's a great gig. | ||
| Fort Lauderdale's a lot of fun. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And then I'm doing Nebraska. | ||
| I've never been to Nebraska in my life. | ||
| I don't think. | ||
| I'm doing Lincoln, Nebraska. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| My wife's father's from... | ||
| Look at that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, they built a giant fucking guitar. | ||
| That's the hotel rooms. | ||
| Designed to resemble back-to-back guitars. | ||
| Well, there you go. | ||
| I've never been to Oklahoma either, I don't think, and I'm doing Tulsa, Oklahoma. | ||
| I'm doing Madison Square Garden in New York. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Then I'm doing the Boston Garden the next week. | ||
| And then I'm doing LA. I'm doing the Forum. | ||
| And then I'm doing Milwaukee. | ||
| And then I'm doing Wichita, Kansas. | ||
| Come on, kids! | ||
| And then Fresno, California to wrap this bitch up. | ||
| Are you doing any more dates with Dave Chappelle? | ||
| Because I know you've got one coming up. | ||
| We have two. | ||
| Two? | ||
| Yeah, we have two. | ||
| We've got one in New Orleans and one in... | ||
| It's not on there. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, that's all mine. | ||
| But you got one. | ||
| One in New Orleans and one in... | ||
| Is it Denver? | ||
| Nashville. | ||
| Nashville. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think I'm going to go to the Nashville one. | ||
| Come on down, Michael. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We have tons of friends. | ||
| I love Nashville. | ||
| Nashville's a great fucking city. | ||
| Do you ever want to not live here? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| All the time. | ||
| Where would you move? | ||
| I moved to Denver, I think. | ||
| Denver's a great town. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nashville or Denver for me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I think about it, I think about a couple places. | ||
| I think of Salt Lake City, like Park City, like that area. | ||
| I think of that. | ||
| But I would never live there full-time, just because my family likes skiing. | ||
| I think of Montana. | ||
| I think of Bozeman, Montana. | ||
| I love Bozeman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just because of the mountains and the beauty. | ||
| Do you ski, though? | ||
| I do, but reluctantly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I only ski because they like it. | ||
| It'll mess up your knees, man. | ||
| I fucked up my knee this winter. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| And it wasn't even my fault, man. | ||
| This lady slid. | ||
| She was a newbie. | ||
| She didn't know what the fuck she was doing, and she was trying to put her shit on, and she slid right into the trail right when I was coming around this corner. | ||
| I'm like, God damn it. | ||
| I knew if I hit her, she was a goner. | ||
| That bitch was going to get broken up. | ||
| So I went around her, and I wiped out, and I got a fracture of my shin, actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, I've got something called an insufficiency fracture. | ||
| It's like where my shin bone hits my cartilage. | ||
| It's fairly lucky, really, because it just requires like six to eight weeks of doing not much. | ||
| So no running for me. | ||
| I've just been hiking with my dog and I lift weights. | ||
| It's not, you know, it lets me know every now and then, like, hey, fuckface, settle down. | ||
| But I've been doing yoga. | ||
| I've been doing a lot of my normal stuff. | ||
| I can't kick the bag. | ||
| But it's not bad. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| As far as injuries go, it'll heal up. | ||
| I skied once, and I almost took out four kids. | ||
| Oh, Jesus, kids. | ||
| Yeah, like literally would have killed those kids. | ||
| I couldn't stop. | ||
| I couldn't stop. | ||
| Oh, no, you're a big guy. | ||
| And I'm a big guy. | ||
| So I was going at these four kids and their parents were screaming, stop, stop! | ||
| And I just wound it up rolling down the hill. | ||
| And so I was like, alright, I'm done. | ||
| I don't ever need to ski again. | ||
| The key is to stay on those green ones. | ||
| Stay on the easy ones. | ||
| I was on an easy one. | ||
| The easy baby ones are so much better. | ||
| My kids... | ||
| My 11-year-old is a fucking psycho. | ||
| She's like, I want to do double black diamond. | ||
| She does all the black ones, all the black diamonds. | ||
| Those are so hard, man. | ||
| They're so... | ||
| But when you're like fucking... | ||
| She's probably like... | ||
| 80 pounds, I guess? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's not that bad. | ||
| You fall, like, nothing happens. | ||
| They bounce right back up. | ||
| But you're also so low to the ground, and you're made out of rubber back then. | ||
| They're all, like, flexible and shit. | ||
| When you're old, bro, you hit the ground, your back's like... | ||
| What really bothered me was my head. | ||
| When I wiped, I went around the corner to try to get away from this lady. | ||
| I tried to turn around her. | ||
| And my skis went up, and when I went down, I hit my head pretty fucking hard. | ||
| And I had a helmet on, for sure. | ||
| But still, even with a helmet on, my bell got rung. | ||
| Like, I was dizzy, and I was a little confused and disoriented for, like, the rest of the day. | ||
| I definitely got rocked. | ||
| Like, if it was a fight, I would have the doctor, like, checking my eyes with a flashlight. | ||
| Have you gotten concussions before? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But when we got them, it wasn't a big deal. | ||
| They were like, oh, go back in. | ||
| I've probably been hit in the head a thousand times. | ||
| I don't even know how many times I've been hit in the head. | ||
| From all the days of sparring and fighting, I don't know how many times. | ||
| It's been a lot. | ||
| But that was a big one. | ||
| Like recent. | ||
| I haven't had a recent head injury. | ||
| Like a recent bang of the head. | ||
| That's called success. | ||
| You don't need to get hit in the head. | ||
| You don't need to get hit in the head. | ||
| Plan ahead. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I'm okay. | ||
| Everything's fine. | ||
| But it's head injuries are very touch and go, man. | ||
| Very touch and go. | ||
| I still want to get checked out because I got knocked out in football practice. | ||
| And this was in college at the University of Arkansas. | ||
| And I played outside linebacker. | ||
| And a guard pulled and hit me right here in the temple. | ||
| I was out. | ||
| I woke up in like ICU. And I still get headaches. | ||
| I've always gotten headaches all my life, but, you know, I watch different programs. | ||
| I go, hey, are you having headaches? | ||
| Maybe you should go in to see a doctor. | ||
| And I'm like, you know what? | ||
| Maybe I should get another MRI. You know what's really crazy? | ||
| How many years people have been alive? | ||
| People have been alive. | ||
| I mean, we've been human beings have been around for a quarter million more or more years, depending upon who you ask. | ||
| And how long have they really known about chronic traumatic encephalopathy? | ||
| Is that how you say it? | ||
| Encephalopathy? | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The movie Concussion, wasn't that the guy that discovered it? | ||
| Well, I don't know if he discovered it. | ||
| He's the one that brought it to life. | ||
| He brought it to life. | ||
| And he was the one who was explaining how all of these football players have it. | ||
| You know what's really interesting? | ||
| I saw an article about him that was kind of shitting on him lately. | ||
| Encephalopathy. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Chronic traumatic encephalopathy. | ||
| Neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated head injuries. | ||
| Fucking A, man. | ||
| And my parents threw me in football when I was like eight years old. | ||
| So I was taking hits. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Symptoms may include behavioral problems. | ||
| Got that. | ||
| Mood problems. | ||
| Got that. | ||
| Problems with thinking. | ||
| Definitely got that. | ||
| Symptoms typically do not begin until years after the injuries. | ||
| Check. | ||
| CT often gets worse over time and can result in dementia. | ||
| Why is the guy getting shitted on, you said? | ||
| Oh, there was an article recently that was saying that he is profiting off... | ||
| It's most likely someone trying to discredit... | ||
| Like, have you noticed all the negative Bernie Sanders ads or articles that have been written lately? | ||
| Like, really crazy ones. | ||
| Like, saying... | ||
| Calling him a climate change denialist, which is 100% not true. | ||
| You know, there's so many... | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| From scientist to salesman. | ||
| How Bennett Omalu, doctor of concussion fame, built a career on distorted science. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if what they're doing... | ||
| It's the Washington Post, which is another one that... | ||
| They're also the ones that ran that thing on Bernie with climate change denial. | ||
| God damn it, media. | ||
| There's so much horse shit going on in the news. | ||
| I can't watch it anymore. | ||
| It's just reading it and watching it. | ||
| It's like so much of it is biased and distorted and they're trying to paint a perception of someone instead of just laying out the facts in an objective way. | ||
| It's just so much of that going on now. | ||
| I feel like it's a very unfortunate case, but I feel like one of the things that's happened is because of subscription models for newspapers, things like Washington Post, New York Times, they have to be outrageous. | ||
| Like sometimes in my Google News feed, I'll get a story and I'll click on it and then it'll say to subscribe, go here. | ||
| Oh, well, fuck you. | ||
| So they got me to click on it with the click-baity shit, and I bet, you know, one out of a hundred or whatever will follow through and give them the credit card information and subscribe. | ||
| But they're almost starving to death. | ||
| Someone told me that the New York Times only survives because of their podcast now. | ||
| Oh, it's The Daily. | ||
| Yeah, The Daily is, I used to listen to it a lot, but it's a thing where I think news, when we watch news, it's more salacious than entertainment news. | ||
| I remember, you know, they're all about the headlines, and here's what, like, they just had this democratic, you know, where they went against each other, the debate, and the next day on the news, All they showed was the same five clips of Elizabeth Warren going after this person, Bernie Sanders going after that person. | ||
| And they have 24 hours to at least tell you the good things they said. | ||
| Like, give me some policies or something. | ||
| But no. | ||
| They're just going to show you those five clips. | ||
| And that's what the debate... | ||
| And then they're going, we don't understand why everybody's mad. | ||
| Because you're only putting five clips of that... | ||
| Where all the candidates are mad at each other. | ||
| The news is a big part of the division right now. | ||
| And I feel like it's worse. | ||
| Like, entertainment news is supposed to be like Brad, Angelina, Jennifer Aniston. | ||
| But now you have politicians. | ||
| Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders. | ||
| Like, they're doing the same thing that we did in entertainment news. | ||
| You're 100% right. | ||
| And I think they're doing that because it's a business and they have to stay alive. | ||
| It's ratings. | ||
| But... | ||
| I would love it if one channel existed that didn't do that. | ||
| One channel existed that was 100% unbiased. | ||
| These are the facts as we know them. | ||
| Some old school Walter Cronkite type shit. | ||
| But can you do that nowadays and survive? | ||
| I don't know why you can't. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because it's about ratings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a good question. | |
| It's a good question. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| It's like we're so personality driven these days. | ||
| Everything's personality driven. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| It's hard to trust people. | ||
| You know, it's like when you see these hit pieces that are written about Bernie Sanders and you know it's horseshit, that's where, like, when you know something's horseshit, that's when you go, oh, wow, look what you're doing. | ||
| And then you see a bunch of other news articles that are similar and that are on similar left-leaning publications or similar establishment-connected publications. | ||
| And you go, oh, this is like a sort of a concentrated effort to try to minimize his campaign. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But even when it's bullshit, somebody's going to believe it. | ||
| A lot of people believe it. | ||
| A lot of people believe that stuff. | ||
| Well, it's a certain number are going to believe it. | ||
| What's really interesting to me is that Bernie Sanders just keeps winning. | ||
| He keeps winning. | ||
| He won Nevada. | ||
| He's won three in a row. | ||
| And they're trying to bullshit us and pretend that Pete Buttigieg, he's got a chance. | ||
| He's got zero chance. | ||
| That guy's got zero chance. | ||
| How do you see it all playing out? | ||
| Bernie Sanders, 100%. | ||
| The only way it's not going to happen is if they give him some fucking CIA injection into his coffee one day and his fucking chamomile tea to give a little squirt in there. | ||
| I mean, the guy already had a goddamn heart attack, which is crazy that he's doing this well. | ||
| He had a heart attack on the campaign trail. | ||
| I mean, bro, this is like, if you have a car and you're driving it over to the guy's house who wants to buy it and one of your cylinders blows... | ||
| He's still like, that's a good car, I'll fucking take it. | ||
| That guy, he needs that car. | ||
| That's how much America needs Bernie Sanders. | ||
| This motherfucker had a heart attack running for president, and they're like, so what? | ||
| He's still alive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's go. | |
| He's still alive. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| But what's interesting to me, and we were talking about it at this benefit you did, you came out and made this statement about Bernie Sanders. | ||
| He was losing at that time. | ||
| He was not the frontrunner and after you said that, he became the frontrunner. | ||
| I really believe you had a lot to do with that. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| I mean, you have a huge audience, man. | ||
| It might have had something to do with it, but that's why they attacked me, which is hilarious. | ||
| They did exactly what I said you can do about a person. | ||
| I said, if you take all the worst aspects of a person and ignore everything else and just magnify those, you can paint a very distorted perception of someone. | ||
| And so they're like, good, let's do that to him. | ||
| Let's make Bernie Sanders look like a piece of shit for using that. | ||
| Well, also the fact that he used the most wishy-washy endorsement ever. | ||
| What I said is I'll probably vote for him. | ||
| And they're like, run with it! | ||
| I might! | ||
| Run with it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like it! | |
| I might vote for him! | ||
| Listen, man, I always say this, this is very important. | ||
| If you get in your politics from me, you're fucked. | ||
| Because I'm not the guy. | ||
| Listen to Kyle Kalinske, listen to Jimmy Dore, listen to the people that are really paying attention, listen to The Hill, people that are really on top of it, where it's their business. | ||
| It's not my business. | ||
| My business is stand-up comedy and cage fighting, and a few other things. | ||
| I'm a comedian, like you, you know? | ||
| We talk about shit, but I'm no expert. | ||
| But I like what Bernie stands for socially. | ||
| I like what he stands for socially. | ||
| You know, when he explained how he was going to put a very small tax on Wall Street speculation on each one of these little transactions less than a penny and explains that over time and all these transactions, that's a valuable thing. | ||
| And that could contribute and that could potentially pay for education and health care and all these different things. | ||
| I don't know if he's right. | ||
| You know, I know many people say he's wrong. | ||
| And I would like to see a real honest debate, not a debate on television where you have to cut every seven seconds or seven minutes for a commercial. | ||
| And you have these people that are these moderators that are, you know, steering this thing. | ||
| No, I want to see the two of them, like him and someone who opposes his ideas, who actually understands the economics of it and discuss it in a long form discussion, like a YouTube video. | ||
| Make a YouTube video. | ||
| Everyone would watch it. | ||
| Have Bernie Sanders sit down with someone who's an economist or a mathematician or someone who understands it. | ||
| And let's find out if that really would work and how it would work. | ||
| Same thing goes with education. | ||
| Same thing goes with healthcare. | ||
| How are you going to pay for these things? | ||
| Is it feasible? | ||
| Is it possible to do this? | ||
| Where's the fat that we're going to cut? | ||
| How much taxes are you going to raise? | ||
| And who are you going to raise the taxes on? | ||
| And how is it going to be done? | ||
| And where's that money going to go? | ||
| Now... | ||
| Do you believe that if you're Bernie Sanders, you have to talk about that information? | ||
| Because we have a president that didn't give any information. | ||
| I feel now politics is, I'm going to give as least information as I can, so they can't use it against me. | ||
| And it works, obviously, because you have a guy like that in the White House. | ||
| So if I'm Bernie Sanders, why would I tell you how much everything's going to cost? | ||
| With Trump, the personality overshadowed everything else. | ||
| His personality overshadowed all of his shortcomings. | ||
| So because of the fact that he could say things like, when he was talking about China, you know, you could go to China, and you ever see that video? | ||
| Which one was that? | ||
| Where he explains to China, or you could say, listen motherfuckers, have you ever seen that video? | ||
| No. | ||
| Pull that video up, because it's one of my favorite Trump speeches. | ||
| It's like, this is what people love about Donald Trump, the fact that he would say this. | ||
| Think about who Obama was, right? | ||
| Obama, this, like, articulate statesman who you were proud that that was the representative of America. | ||
| He spoke so well. | ||
| He was so measured, so educated. | ||
| Donald Trump is not that. | ||
| Do you feel that some American people, since Obama was like that, felt like he was speaking down to them? | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| Okay. | ||
| Dummies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dummies don't like smart people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's always the case, you know, but... | ||
| I don't think he was ever speaking down to people. | ||
| He's a very measured person. | ||
| I don't either, but some people get upset about that. | ||
| Oh, he doesn't speak his mind. | ||
| He doesn't say what he wants to say. | ||
| There's some people that don't like him because he's a liberal. | ||
| There's some people that don't like him because he's black. | ||
| There's some people that don't like him because he's young. | ||
| There's some people that don't like him because he went to Harvard. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| Listen, play this, because this is one of my favorite Trump speeches ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said, well, what would you do? | |
| What can you do? | ||
| So easy. | ||
| So easy. | ||
| I drop a 25% tax on China. | ||
| And you know, I said to somebody that is really the messenger. | ||
| The messenger is important. | ||
| I could have one man say, we're going to tax you 25%. | ||
| And I could say another, listen you motherfuckers, we're going to tax you 25%. | ||
| You said the same exact thing. | ||
| He does not give a shit. | ||
| He doesn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And here's the thing. | |
| People keep saying he's dumb. | ||
| He's not dumb. | ||
| He's just not concentrating on the things that intelligent people concentrate on. | ||
| Wait. | ||
| He's concentrating on money. | ||
| Money? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Himself? | |
| He's concentrating on his ego. | ||
| Himself. | ||
| He's not concentrating on... | ||
| I mean, when he's talking, he's not talking about the great literary works. | ||
| He's not talking about great philosophers or great historians. | ||
| These are not things that he's concentrating on. | ||
| His whole life... | ||
| He has a sharp mind. | ||
| But his whole life, he's been concentrating on Donald Trump, and Donald Trump kicking ass, and Donald Trump's name, and Donald Trump's ego, and filling that ego, and cheating at golf, and doing all the things that he wants to do whenever he wants to do them. | ||
| That's what he concentrated on. | ||
| It doesn't mean that he's dumb. | ||
| And that's why people get distracted. | ||
| They get confused. | ||
| I agree with you on that, but what I'm surprised about, look, and I don't care what side of Finch you're on, but what I'm surprised about is some people believe he's doing things for the country's best interest, not for his own. | ||
| Well, he's definitely doing things for his best interest. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And also probably doing things that he thinks are for the country's best interest as well. | ||
| I don't think all of what he's doing is just for him. | ||
| Because you wouldn't be president if you did that. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Because the beating that you take in terms of like, well, it's also your ego boost. | ||
| But he's also getting rid of everyone that opposes him. | ||
|
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Well, that's how he runs all of his businesses. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| So that's how you would run a company. | ||
| And the guy's 73 years old, right? | ||
| When you're that old, you don't change. | ||
| I mean, the way he runs companies, to expect him to do any different once he became president is kind of silly. | ||
| That's how he's become successful. | ||
| I mean, that's why his fucking name is on these giant buildings all over the world, right? | ||
| It's like it's this ego thing and the way he does business. | ||
| I'm the fucking boss. | ||
| Listen, you motherfuckers, we're going to tax you 25%. | ||
| That's his attitude. | ||
| That's his thought. | ||
| Some people love that shit. | ||
| Oh no, I know a lot of people that love it. | ||
| People are attracted to the strong man. | ||
| The strong, confident man who tells everyone to fuck off and they want to align with them. | ||
| Because most people feel like they don't have a voice in life. | ||
| They don't feel like they feel frustrated. | ||
| They owe money. | ||
| It's a lot of poor people, which is really ironic, right? | ||
| Because his policies don't give a fuck about poor people. | ||
| He talks about the working people. | ||
| He doesn't care, no. | ||
| To get them to vote for him. | ||
| He cares about him in that way because they are very valuable to him. | ||
| But why do they latch on to him? | ||
| Because they don't have that voice that he has? | ||
| Well, it's that, right? | ||
| People are very tribal. | ||
| They want a leader of a team. | ||
| And you're seeing that with Bernie Sanders. | ||
| You clearly saw that with Elizabeth Warren. | ||
| So many women were clinging to Elizabeth Warren. | ||
| They wanted to call Bernie Sanders a misogynist and this and that. | ||
| And what they were doing is they're just Team Warren. | ||
| I'm on Team Warren. | ||
| They didn't want to paint... | ||
| An objective opinion of him like, well, he's got some good policies and he's got some questionable economic theories and I don't know whether or not they're accurate, but this is why Elizabeth Warren stands out to me and as a mother and as a woman, I think it would be great to have a woman in the White House and I'm biased in that direction. | ||
| People don't say that. | ||
| No. | ||
| They don't say that. | ||
| They don't say that. | ||
| They're tribal. | ||
| They're on Team Warren. | ||
| Fuck everybody else. | ||
| And that's how people are. | ||
| But it's just that you're not making any progress. | ||
| You're just as bad as the other side. | ||
| You're blaming the other side for doing that. | ||
| But yet, I see, to me, Trump is so right for that party. | ||
| He's doing his own thing. | ||
| Where now, Bernie, I feel like... | ||
| I always feel there's an overcorrection. | ||
| Me Too was an overcorrection. | ||
| I think now, Bernie will probably get it. | ||
| Because that's the left's answer for overcorrection. | ||
| Yes, I think you're 100% right, and I think that's what's going on. | ||
| I think AOC and a lot of other people are also part of this sort of philosophy of overcorrection, which is probably good. | ||
| I think we need that. | ||
| I think people go back and forth, and we need to find our fucking equilibrium, and that's what humans do. | ||
| You know, look, things are getting better, man. | ||
| I'm a fucking rock-solid optimist. | ||
| I think even the Me Too shit, what that is is... | ||
| I mean, I have a bit about it, and I can't really talk too much about it without giving up the bit. | ||
| I heard it. | ||
| It's fucking hilarious, dude. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| But the thought process behind it is that... | ||
| Ultimately, the direction is moving towards less bad things. | ||
| And I think that's the same thing with even woke culture. | ||
| Like, I'm a critic of woke culture. | ||
| I think a lot of it is ridiculous and I think a lot of it is tribal. | ||
| It's the same kind of shit. | ||
| It's like people decide they're on team ultra-progressive and, you know, and then everybody else can go fuck off and they want to attack those people and force those people to comply. | ||
| It's like a thought war. | ||
| And that's what's going on. | ||
| But when you look at the tenets of woke culture, cut out all the horseshit, what are they trying to do? | ||
| They're trying to have less homophobia, less racism, less sexism. | ||
| They want more inclusiveness. | ||
| They want more people to have opportunities. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| That's all great. | ||
| It's just, they're going about it in this militant, psychotic way, wearing ski masks, and professors are hitting people over the head with bike locks, and everybody's losing their fucking mind. | ||
| They won't even let conservative people speak at universities in a debate. | ||
| That stuff is wrong, but I understand what that is. | ||
| That's just rabid tribalism, and that's an overcorrection, and that needs to be called out, and it needs to be stopped, because the only way to really find out who you agree with is to let both sides talk. | ||
| That's the only way. | ||
| This infantile perception of people, including young people, that a lot of people on the left have, is that you don't even want to hear people with questionable ideas speak because then they're going to radicalize young people and people are going to get drawn to them. | ||
| Well, that's a very egotistical perspective. | ||
| It's like, I can see they're full of shit, but these young people are not going to be able to. | ||
| And I'm smarter than them, and I want to stop them from being able to speak. | ||
| I don't like when people get mad when you have questions. | ||
| If you ask a question... | ||
| To a different party or a different movement and they don't like your question? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They get mad at you. | |
| They get mad at you and then they'll attack you. | ||
|
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|
But it's fools. | |
| But it's because it's people that don't understand all the tenets of rational discourse. | ||
| You need those. | ||
| Do you know what the four agreements are? | ||
| You ever heard of Don Miguel Ruiz, the four agreements? | ||
| It's a great book, and it's really simple. | ||
| It's a small book. | ||
| It's an easy read. | ||
| But the four tenets are, first of all, be impeccable with your word. | ||
| Always do your best. | ||
| Don't take anything personal. | ||
| And I think the other one is, like, don't have any expectations. | ||
| I think that's the other one. | ||
| Here they are. | ||
| Don't make assumptions. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Don't make assumptions. | ||
| Always do your best. | ||
| Don't take anything personally. | ||
| And be impeccable with your word. | ||
| Now, if you just apply those, and a lot of people are like, how does this relate? | ||
| The way this relates, this is a philosophy on just going through life. | ||
| And all of these tenets, be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions, always do your best. | ||
| These are anti-tribal Tenants. | ||
| This is a way to not get sucked into this, like, really biased tribal perception that a lot of people get sucked into. | ||
| And they get sucked into this team mentality, and they get blinders on, and they can't see things for what they are. | ||
| We have a real problem with wanting to be in tribes, and it's just a part of our DNA. It's a part of our nature. | ||
| It's how we survive to the 21st century. | ||
| I mean, we survive by teaming up and having this loyalty to the people in our group to fight against the invaders who want to take our women and our food. | ||
| It's all fight. | ||
| I mean, that goes from politics to even religion. | ||
| That's your tribe. | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what it is. | ||
| And if you question a tribe, then they all come after you. | ||
| I mean, it's with everything, man. | ||
| It's with everything. | ||
| It's with sports teams. | ||
| It's with the part of the country you live in. | ||
| It's with the style of eating. | ||
| It's veganism versus carnivore. | ||
| It's fucking everything we do. | ||
| We break off into tribal groups, man. | ||
| It's like people are into American cars only, and people only buy electric. | ||
|
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|
Guns. | |
| Yes, with everything, man. | ||
| No one should have a gun. | ||
| Everyone should have a gun. | ||
| And by the way, those people that no one should have a gun or everyone should have a gun, they're the same person. | ||
| They don't even realize it. | ||
| They don't even realize it. | ||
| They just needed the right amount of influence, the right people around them, the right positive reactions from those people around them. | ||
| All of the debate that comes from one side versus all the debate that comes from the other side, so much of the mindsets are similar. | ||
| So much of that absolute mindset, whether it's absolute left wing or absolute right wing, it's so similar. | ||
| You know what I hate is, I think we're at a point in the country where everybody wants to think their problem is bigger than your problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so it's like, well, I'm gay. | ||
| Well, I'm black and gay. | ||
| Well, I'm black, gay, and this. | ||
| So it's a thing where everybody, we can't acknowledge there's problems. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But we have to say, my problem is bigger than your problem, so you need to listen to me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, no, let's just say everybody has problems, and let's address them, rather than you being the big problem. | ||
| And also, kindness and understanding. | ||
| Those two things are so giant. | ||
| And whenever people just start attacking people, you realize, okay, there's no kindness there, there's no understanding there. | ||
| And that's why you're doing that. | ||
| If you had kindness and understanding, you temper your words, you take a deep breath, and you go, well, I assume she's just trying to do her best. | ||
| Or I assume he's just trying to get by, just like all of us. | ||
| And that kindness and understanding goes a long fucking way. | ||
| Because as soon as you dehumanize someone, as soon as you say, you know, hey, he's on the left, fuck him, he wants to take away your money and turn American to Cuba, fuck you! | ||
| You know, like that kind of nonsense, man. | ||
| I read a book called Never Split the Difference. | ||
| Have you read that one? | ||
| It's amazing, bro. | ||
| It's about an old FBI terrorist negotiator. | ||
| And basically the book tells you how to talk to people. | ||
| Like he took that tactic they use in the FBI to bring it to real life business and everything. | ||
| How to talk to people where you can get them on your side. | ||
| And just certain questions you ask where instead of them helping you, well it turns it from me asking you to do something to you wanting to do it. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| I use it in real life every day. | ||
| How do you use it? | ||
| Well, it's about the how question. | ||
| You know, for instance, you're negotiating a price on something. | ||
| Somebody says, I want to do the Joe Rogan Podcast Studio, and it comes in at $20,000. | ||
| And you go, you know what? | ||
| How can we make this... | ||
| Where it's not as much. | ||
| How can we lower this price? | ||
| So instead of you going, hey, I need a lower price. | ||
| And they go, no, it's $20,000. | ||
| You go, how can we get this lower? | ||
| Now, all the onus is on them to try to figure out your problem. | ||
| So you're basically putting your... | ||
| They're trying to figure out your problem for you instead of you figuring out the problem. | ||
| You fucked up by telling people this because then they're going to go, uh, we can't. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And then you're stuck. | ||
| It's like you're playing chess here. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But they just like, check. | ||
| I just forgot about how many millions watched this. | ||
| Now people are going to be taking shit away from me now. | ||
| They were like, oh, you did that to us? | ||
| Oh, I see what you're doing. | ||
| I see what you did, you motherfucker. | ||
| You went with the how. | ||
|
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You came with the how question. | |
| I do it to my wife. | ||
| But she knows I read the... | ||
| Every time my wife is at the house and I'm just kind of chilling, I go, how can I help you? | ||
|
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Oh, Jesus Christ. | |
| What are you doing? | ||
| Why don't you just get out of the room? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| When I ask that, she always goes, oh, nothing. | ||
| But when I'm doing nothing, and don't ask her, there's always something to do. | ||
| Oh, I get it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, it's a thing where if somebody, you're just putting the onus on them. | ||
| And it's a fun, like, never split the difference. | ||
| It's a game changer, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, there's all sorts of weird techniques that people have used in negotiations, interrogations. | ||
| Interrogation techniques are very interesting. | ||
| How they catch people lying by repeating what they said back to them and having them repeat it again. | ||
| He talks about that, too. | ||
| Yeah, because he had to do that. | ||
| When he had to know over the phone, though, if they were lying. | ||
| So he had, through the book, they go through all these cues you could do. | ||
| And he goes, I want everybody to know this is not manipulation. | ||
| This just teaches you what to look for and how to basically get along where you're not fighting with somebody on something. | ||
| Because when they have your hostages, you don't want to fight with the captors. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You have to talk to them in a civilized manner to get these people out. | ||
| That is some high-pressure shit, man. | ||
| Imagine you're dealing with ISIS or some shit. | ||
| You're trying to get hostages back. | ||
| You're trying to communicate with them and trying to figure out what's the best way to do this without using drones. | ||
| Well, you use drones. | ||
| Everybody's gone. | ||
| Yeah, not anymore. | ||
| They're pretty good now. | ||
| When they took out al-Baghdadi, no, that wasn't al-Baghdadi, Soleimani, they only killed one other person. | ||
| Yeah, they're good at it now. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| Well, look, it's going to get scarier. | ||
| They're going to be able to get drones down to, like, I mean, they used to call them, they used to talk about the precision of drones. | ||
| But really, like, a lot of times they were blowing up entire buildings and killing a ton of innocent people. | ||
| Like, the numbers of innocent people that have overall been killed by drones is fucking staggering. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If it was a cop... | ||
| If a cop had done what drones had done, you would be like, that guy is a fucking psychopath, and he's just trying to kill people. | ||
| Like, the decision that a cop would make, there's a bad guy in this building, so I'm gonna blow up the whole fucking building. | ||
| Like, you go, what? | ||
| You're gonna do what? | ||
| Like, there's weird decisions that you're allowed to make in two cases. | ||
| One, war, and two, when it's not a human doing it, per se. | ||
| It's a human piloting a drone. | ||
| Well, I mean, what was that movie with the... | ||
| It was these animals, these mechanical animals killing everybody. | ||
| And the movie had that... | ||
| It was like this dog type of creature. | ||
| It was a big movie. | ||
| I forgot what the name of it was. | ||
| Mechanical animals killing people. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| They have all these robots now. | ||
| It's a robot. | ||
| I think Black Mirror, the Black Mirror episode. | ||
| Oh, you're right. | ||
| It was a Black Mirror episode. | ||
| It was a Black Mirror episode. | ||
| It was one episode. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that one. | ||
| But man, like these robots, they're jumping over things. | ||
| Like... | ||
| The mafia can just buy robots now to go do hits for people. | ||
| I don't know if they got that kind of money. | ||
| I think it would be more like the federal government using our money. | ||
| That's what's fucked up about the government. | ||
| They're using our money. | ||
| They don't even have to give you a sheet. | ||
| Say if you pay taxes, and you make a good living, you probably have to pay a hefty sum of taxes. | ||
| They don't send you, hey Michael, we used all this money on education, we fixed the streets with this money that you sent, so you should feel happy that you're contributing to society. | ||
| No, no invoice. | ||
| Fuck you, pay us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you don't pay us, they Wesley Snipes you. | ||
| They just send you to fucking jail. | ||
| They Lauren Hill you. | ||
| They just send you to jail. | ||
| They don't even let you pay it off. | ||
| They don't say, hey, fuckface, you owe us $3 million, you have to pay this off, and this is how we're going to force you to pay it off. | ||
| And Wesley's like, look, good, I'm sorry, I'm going to go back to work, I'm going to make that money, give me a couple years to pay it off, and I'll pay it off. | ||
| No, no, no, fuck you, go to jail. | ||
| So you can't even make any money while you're in jail. | ||
| So now you're more in the hole when you get out. | ||
| So they put you in jail, but that doesn't take any money off. | ||
| No! | ||
| No, you still owe all that money. | ||
| Wesley Snipes had to do more than a year in jail. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well... | ||
| So did Lauryn Hill. | ||
| I believe Lauryn Hill did a year in jail. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| These taxes, man. | ||
| Fucking taxes. | ||
|
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|
These taxes. | |
| That's the only thing where you owe money. | ||
| They put you in a fucking box. | ||
| They don't do that with anything else. | ||
| If you owed money on your mortgage, you just have to pay it. | ||
| You know, if you had credit card debt, you just have to pay it. | ||
| But if you have IRS debt, fuck you. | ||
| Yeah, you're going to jail. | ||
| They make... | ||
| It's like they're thugs, man. | ||
| They make an example out of you. | ||
| See, and by you saying that, you better watch out. | ||
| I pay my taxes. | ||
| I pay my taxes. | ||
| I always have. | ||
| And I think you should pay your taxes. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I've never ever tried any sort of manipulation to try to pay lower taxes. | ||
| I don't think about it. | ||
| I'm very happy that I get to live in America. | ||
| I'm very happy that we have this incredible system where you literally can be a person who's struggling and go on to become incredibly successful. | ||
| We don't have a caste system in this country. | ||
| It's not perfect. | ||
| It's definitely not equal. | ||
| There's definitely people that grow up in terrible environments and impoverished, crime-ridden, gang-ridden neighborhoods, and they're way more fucked than I ever was growing up. | ||
| However, you can go from a kid like me who was on welfare when he was young and, you know, when I was a little boy, and Go on to become someone who can make money in this country. | ||
| You can have an influence. | ||
| You can do something. | ||
| I'm proud to pay my taxes. | ||
| I never complain about it. | ||
| I mean, it's a staggering sum of money when you really think about it. | ||
| But I'm proud to pay it. | ||
| I think we all should be. | ||
| But I don't know what they're dealing with it. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Well, I tell you this. | ||
| My dad pays all... | ||
| Wesley did three years? | ||
| Three years? | ||
| Three years. | ||
| And no money. | ||
| You're making no money. | ||
| And bro, when you're like 52, like how old was he when you went away? | ||
| It was 2010. 10? | ||
| So he's probably... | ||
| He was sentenced in 2008 and he went in in 2010. How old is he? | ||
| He's now 57. Okay, so he was like 47. So when he was 47... | ||
| He got out at 50. Jesus Christ. | ||
| Those are important years, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Just doing push-ups and playing cards. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| Hoping you don't get fucked. | ||
| With the IRS, my dad pays all his taxes, but they messed up on his taxes. | ||
| They thought he was Jordan Peele. | ||
| They did. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| This guy makes way more money than that! | ||
| Have you seen his fucking movies? | ||
| My dad looks exactly like Jordan Peele. | ||
| Have you seen the pictures of his dad and Jordan Peele? | ||
| Jamie, pull the pictures out. | ||
| Jordan Peele did way less though, by the way. | ||
| How much time did she do? | ||
| Three months. | ||
| Well, I think what was going on there was Wesley was a part of some wacky group that was saying that you don't have to pay taxes because it's unconstitutional. | ||
| How did that work out for you? | ||
| The same way people get locked into thinking the earth is flat. | ||
| You talk to a couple people that are very convincing and charismatic and articulate, and you're like, really? | ||
| Next thing you know, you're launching off in the sky. | ||
| I got 10 years of tax protester, as he was called. | ||
| Oh, so his tax protester is probably still in the pokey. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Come on, son! | ||
| That's your dad! | ||
|
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|
Dude! | |
| DNA test coming. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| I mean, that is absolutely perfect. | ||
| Like, if there was ever a Michael Yeo movie, that guy is playing your dad for sure. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Like, it's not even a little different. | ||
| That's exactly the same. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| He looks exactly like your dad. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| The only thing that's different is the beard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you take away the beard, that's the same person. | ||
| That's fucking stunning. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| That's a doppelganger, bro. | ||
| That's a real doppelganger. | ||
| I mean, bro, look at that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I've never seen one that good. | ||
| No, I was just looking through Instagram, and I was like, because people have mentioned it to me that have met my dad and seen pictures, and I'm going, ah, whatever. | ||
| But then I found those two pictures. | ||
| I was like, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is the same fucking person, man. | ||
| This is the same person. | ||
| You know how they have those things where you see Keanu Reeves in a 1920s photo and you're like, Keanu Reeves is a fucking time traveler. | ||
| Occasionally someone would look like someone. | ||
| I've seen some photos of me in the Middle East. | ||
| Like, Joe Rogan really lives in Pakistan or some shit. | ||
| But that is about as good as I've ever seen. | ||
| And it's not a blurry picture. | ||
| No, it's perfect. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like the Keanu Reeves one. | ||
| Isn't there a Keanu Reeves one? | ||
| It's black and white, though, and kind of fuzzy, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Like, he looks like he might be in the Old West or some shit. | ||
| A bunch of famous time travelers. | ||
| Eddie Murphy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nick Cage. | ||
| Let me see an Eddie Murphy one. | ||
| Oh, the Eddie Murphy one is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| Nah, not really. | ||
| That's just... | ||
| That's just like... | ||
| That could be Eddie Murphy's brother. | ||
| Nicolas Cage? | ||
| Nicolas Cage. | ||
| Eh. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Pretty close. | ||
| Who else? | ||
| Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Bruce Willis. | ||
| Look at Charlie... | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, that's close. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Who is that guy? | ||
| Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Looks like Lincoln a little bit. | ||
| With no beard? | ||
| Kinda. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| The Bruce Willis one's kind of stunning. | ||
| I think a lot of people draw these. | ||
| Like make them look old. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| David Schwimmer. | ||
| Damn, that's pretty accurate. | ||
| I don't think these are real. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Only my dad's is real. | ||
| What is the Jennifer Lawrence one? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| It's black and white. | ||
| Where's the Keanu Reeves one? | ||
| That's what I want to say. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, there's only so many different shapes a person's face. | ||
| Wow, the Justin Timberlake one's pretty accurate. | ||
| There's Keanu Reeves. | ||
| Goddamn time traveler. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| What's crazy is how good that guy looks. | ||
| 1530, there he is. | ||
| Once. | ||
| Born once. | ||
| 1875, I'm not buying that one. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| That's just another handsome man. | ||
| He was probably throwing tons of dick around in 1875, right? | ||
| That guy doesn't look like him either. | ||
| That guy on the right? | ||
| No, those aren't even close. | ||
| Those are not close. | ||
| But I know which one you're talking about. | ||
| They had a black and white one that was like, he was kind of behind the photo, kind of looking in. | ||
| Yeah, I remember that one. | ||
| Your dad set the standard, though. | ||
| It's over now. | ||
| That should go viral. | ||
| That one needs to go viral. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's one of these pictures where it doesn't... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's one where it looks like a guy has a cell phone and a weird thing. | ||
| Well, this is... | ||
| But then people are photoshopping themselves. | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing today. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| Photoshops are so strange. | ||
| And real looking. | ||
| So real. | ||
| You can't tell. | ||
| You can't tell. | ||
| You watch Kyle Dunnigan's Instagram page? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't know who that is. | ||
| Oh my goodness, I'm so happy now. | ||
| Wait, who's this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to know. | |
| I'm so happy. | ||
| I get to turn you on to Kyle Dunnigan. | ||
| Go with Kyle Dunnigan where he's talking to, where Trump is talking to one of the Kardashians and he's trying to buzzer into the White House. | ||
| I like that one. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Kyle Dunnigan is the funniest motherfucker on Instagram. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| He's got these face swap videos. | ||
| It's pretty far back. | ||
| He's got a lot more videos now because he's 600,000. | ||
| He's murdering it. | ||
| When we first started talking about him, he had like 2,000. | ||
| He does face swaps, and they're really obviously not that person, so it makes it even funnier, almost like South Park-ish, right? | ||
| But then he has amazing impressions, and he has these fucking hilarious videos. | ||
| So he voices the people? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Go large and start from the beginning. | ||
| And give me some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, I'm at the side door. | |
| Okay, I'll buzz you in. | ||
| The door's closed. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta push it. | ||
| It's locked. | ||
| Yeah, wait until I buzz you. | ||
| Okay, push it. | ||
| Why did you open it? | ||
| There was a weird buzzing noise. | ||
| Yeah, that means open the door. | ||
| It's locked. | ||
| You have to wait until I buzz you. | ||
| Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. | ||
| Look at your eyes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I just got here. | |
| No, go in the door. | ||
| But I can't go in the door. | ||
| It's a solid. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| No offense, but this would have been a lot funnier if I was in it. | ||
| Yeah, baby! | ||
| So he does it. | ||
| Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
| See if you can go back to Caitlyn Jenner where she was describing her new pussy to the girls. | ||
| They're all getting grossed out. | ||
| Kyle Dunaham? | ||
| Dunagan. | ||
| Dunagan. | ||
| Stand-up comic. | ||
| Funny guy. | ||
| Very funny guy. | ||
| Yeah, his... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, here it goes. | |
| Look at this. | ||
| She's pregnant. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, girls! | |
| Congrats on all the pregnancies! | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Hey, guess what? | ||
| Caitlyn's preggers, too! | ||
| Yeah, baby! | ||
| Wait, what? | ||
| I bought a crack baby and put it in my cooch. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| How does it breathe? | ||
| Babies can breathe in the womb. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Babies can breathe in the womb. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Do you have a womb? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| I guess it's dead. | ||
| I better go plop this thing out before I get septic shock. | ||
| Oh my god, Todd. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your lip gloss is on fleek. | ||
| It's Kylie's. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| Yeah, isn't it nice? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, very nice. | ||
| I love how he keeps the stubble on when he's doing Caitlyn. | ||
| Like, he knows the Caitlyn ones, all the ones with the stubble on. | ||
| He shoots all the Caitlyns in one day while he has the stubble on. | ||
| It's KyleDunnigan1, I think, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| His Instagram handle? | ||
| KyleDunnigan1.com. | ||
| Funniest guy on Instagram. | ||
| And that's just one of them. | ||
| Dude, I check him every week just to make sure I haven't missed any. | ||
| He does a great Bill Maher that Bill Maher hated. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Fucking hated it. | ||
| Did you bring it up to Bill Maher? | ||
| Yes, I did. | ||
| Bill Maher didn't want to hear it. | ||
| Didn't want to see it. | ||
| Got angry. | ||
| And I go, oh, come on. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I'm like, bro. | ||
| He does a great Ray Liotto, too. | ||
| Yeah, Bill Maher pretended he hadn't seen it. | ||
| We were all talking about it. | ||
| Did you feel like he had seen it? | ||
| A hundred percent! | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| He just, for some reason, thinks that... | ||
| He has a hard time with people making fun of him, which is... | ||
| Come on, you're a public guy. | ||
| Look how good it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'd like to tell you, young people, about the true meaning of Christmas. | |
| Would you like to hear that? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, you were told that God put a miracle baby in a virgin. | ||
| But the truth is, Joseph got Mary pregnant. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Back then they stoned women who had premarital sex. | ||
| So they came up with a lie. | ||
| A lie so big that stupid morons like you... | ||
| What? | ||
| He voiced that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's dead on. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| What'd you do? | ||
| I hit big and it redid the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you like to hear that? | |
| Good lie. | ||
| They stole it from pagan religions. | ||
| December 25th, virgin births. | ||
| Google it, snowflakes. | ||
| Did you really think that God would put his baby in a 13-year-old girl, yes, Mary was 13, and then just leave her to fend for herself? | ||
| He's God. | ||
| Wouldn't he at least get her a ride? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's dead on. | ||
| He didn't like it. | ||
| But you didn't get a chance to play it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you wouldn't. | |
| He's very forceful. | ||
| Very aggressive. | ||
| And he accused me of not watching his show. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| I told him some episodes that I watched. | ||
| That was ten years ago. | ||
| Oh, is he one of those? | ||
| Is he one of those? | ||
| I don't need another fan. | ||
| I'm like, okay, I like your show. | ||
| But I'm sure it's gotten more awkward with somebody else in here. | ||
| Or was that... | ||
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Way more. | ||
| Yeah, he wasn't the most awkward. | ||
| What's the most awkward thing ever happened on the pod? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Can we move on to greener pastures? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Go over awkward things. | ||
| It's just comedians that don't like being poked fun of. | ||
| It's like, mmm, that's weird. | ||
| Like, if it's good, you know? | ||
| Well, you know what's funny is a lot of roasters, people that are great at roasting, do not like to be made fun of. | ||
| Mmm, of course. | ||
| It's so true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not going to mention any names, but I know like three that if you make fun of them... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know that old expression about hoes? | ||
| About the girls who complain about girls being hoes are the biggest hoes? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Everyone knows that's a fact. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| That bitch is such a fucking slut. | ||
| Like, mm-hmm. | ||
| What's she going up to? | ||
| It's like the girl when you first start the first date, she goes, now, I'm not the girl to sleep on the first date. | ||
| And then every dude knows, oh, I'm about to sleep with that girl on the first date. | ||
| Yeah, when they have to tell you. | ||
| When they go out of their way to tell you about it. | ||
| Yeah, they go out right away from the beginning. | ||
| Let you know. | ||
| That's a weird thing that girls have to do, right? | ||
| Because every girl knows that every guy wants to fuck. | ||
| Like, if a guy picks you up, he wants to fuck. | ||
| And every guy knows when he picks up a girl, like, she might not want to fuck. | ||
| This might not ever happen. | ||
| This is just dinner. | ||
| Yeah, it might not ever happen. | ||
| It might not ever happen. | ||
| But you know what I always say? | ||
| Like, to women, like, you control it. | ||
| Like, you're the goalie. | ||
| They definitely do. | ||
| You're the goalie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if you... | ||
| What's your Harvey Weinstein? | ||
| Convicted. | ||
| Going to jail, son. | ||
| And that's just in New York. | ||
| He still has to get tried out here. | ||
| Oh, he's got a bunch of trials. | ||
| That's just one. | ||
| Have you seen how much he has aged in the last, like, eight months? | ||
| Like, me and my wife were watching him on the news last night. | ||
| We go... | ||
| I saw him on a red carpet a couple years before and he was like vibrant and just the stress and the guiltiness and everything is just beating him down. | ||
| I don't think he'll even make it to jail. | ||
| He might kill himself. | ||
| I told my wife that because you're going to die in jail. | ||
| Well, he's probably depressed so deeply. | ||
| Imagine going from being the toast of the town, posing with Oprah, top of the world, going on the red carpet, everybody loves you, everybody thanks you when they get their Academy Award. | ||
| Have you ever seen the compilation of all the stars thanking Harvey Weinstein? | ||
| And then many of them went on to accuse him, accuse him later of being a monster. | ||
| But meanwhile, they're just praising him. | ||
| Well, but don't you have to play that game? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Fuck. | ||
| Don't you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I talked about this yesterday. | ||
| Owen Smith and I were talking about this yesterday. | ||
| We were on the podcast. | ||
| We were talking about how much I'm so happy I don't have to go on auditions and I don't act and I don't want to be a part of that anymore. | ||
| When people think, God, why is everybody in Hollywood so fake? | ||
| It's because they're all trying to get cast in something. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| They're all trying to get accepted by producers and casting directors and executives. | ||
| And so they're all just hedging their bets, playing it safe. | ||
| Like a guy on a first date. | ||
| Just a bullshit artist. | ||
| Just a fucking slick guy with loose morals on a first date. | ||
| Trying real hard. | ||
| Is this him getting arrested? | ||
| And how long ago was that? | ||
| Where's his fucking walker? | ||
| He's walking perfect now. | ||
| How long ago was that? | ||
| This was yesterday when he was walking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He was all like... | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Why do they have to cuff him? | ||
| Do they think that fat fuck's gonna kick anybody's ass? | ||
| I like it. | ||
| What's up with that? | ||
| No, cuff him. | ||
| But isn't it weird? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| The cuffing thing is weird when you, like, if someone's, I guess... | ||
| If you don't cuff him, he could run away. | ||
| And he could run away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He could run where? | |
| He could run where? | ||
| His little fucking toothpick legs and his big old belly. | ||
| Look at that meatball belly. | ||
| He ain't going anywhere. | ||
| That dude ain't running. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| It's like, I guess he's accused of violent crime, so you have to cuff him, right? | ||
| If someone's accused of murder and they're convicted, you got to cuff him. | ||
| What happens to him if he goes to jail? | ||
| Does he get Epstein'd? | ||
| I know with any kids. | ||
| If you mess with any kids. | ||
| It's an old video, apparently. | ||
| Yeah, I thought so. | ||
| He doesn't look like that anymore. | ||
| That's probably two, three years ago, right? | ||
| Oh, that was when he initially got arrested? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was about to say, that's not him. | ||
| That was one of the things that the court artist, there was an artist that drew him throughout the case, and she was saying that you could see his deterioration, his physical deterioration over the course of the trial. | ||
| Have you seen him lately? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did you? | |
| Oh, you got to pull up the video of him like yesterday. | ||
| It literally, him walking out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He looks 20 years older. | ||
| I wonder if that Walker shit's real. | ||
| Do you think that Walker shit was... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I don't think it's real, but I think it became real. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Dun, dun, dun. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I think it was... | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at just his face. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it was a thing where, oh, let's play it for the court, and then he just got so broken down through the process, which he deserved, and it just took a toll on him, man. | ||
| Look at him! | ||
| The video you just showed is like two years old. | ||
| It was May 2018. May 2018. Look at him now. | ||
| Look, he's lost most of his hair, and he looks so old and tired. | ||
| He's probably not getting any sleep. | ||
| He's a fucking beaten man. | ||
| And he was on top of the world. | ||
| If there is karma, right? | ||
| If karma's real, that's the karma. | ||
| Because this guy was on the top of the world, but he was forcing everyone to suck his dick. | ||
| So you want to be a star? | ||
| It's like demonic shit. | ||
| Come on in. | ||
| Now karma's saying, do you want to suck my dick? | ||
| I don't want to, but I don't want to. | ||
| Come here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get over here. | |
| You want to make you a star? | ||
| Sorry, sorry. | ||
| Don't tell anybody about this. | ||
| Like, whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And then his contract had it in there. | ||
| You heard about that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Like they had a disclaimer in his contract. | ||
| Not only didn't they have a disclaimer, for one count of sexual harassment, two counts, you have to pay up this amount. | ||
| Three counts, you have to pay up that amount. | ||
| Like he would lose money based on how many different counts of sexual harassment he had. | ||
| So they were negotiating, depended upon him being a predator. | ||
| Like they kind of knew. | ||
| What do you mean kind of? | ||
|
unidentified
|
If they put you in a contract, they knew. | |
| If you're putting in a contract, you know. | ||
| Well, that's the other thing. | ||
| How many people are also liable here? | ||
| Oh, my thing is, when are the agents going to jail, the ones that kept sending all the actresses to the guy? | ||
| The one they knew. | ||
| They knew! | ||
| Everybody knew! | ||
| Well, if an actress can say, hey, Harvey Weinstein raped me, and then the agency says, listen, do you want this job or not? | ||
| Like, those people. | ||
| Those people. | ||
| But if you're an agent, and you've known Harvey Weinstein for four or five years, or ten years, and you know he's been doing this, but yet you continue to send actresses to this guy, shouldn't you have some type of responsibility, too? | ||
| Yes, but here's the question. | ||
| Did they think that he was just a pig and he was trying to talk those girls into willingly having sex with him, which many did, or did they think he was a rapist? | ||
| Because he was both of those things, apparently. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He was a guy who had sex with girls who were willing to whore themselves out to be in movies, and he also forced himself on women who did not want to have anything to do with him. | ||
| So he had both of those things were going on. | ||
| But you don't think the agencies that were sending all these big actresses in, they didn't know, they knew the both types. | ||
| Hey, they had some girls willing and some girls are saying they're raped. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| You don't think any actress ever went back to their agent and go, I'm never going in again. | ||
| I got raped. | ||
| And then that agent was like, all right, I'm not going to send you anymore. | ||
| But hey, over here, go into Harvey. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, I like the way you're negotiating here, because the way you're saying it doesn't give a person an out. | ||
| You're saying, you don't think, because no one's saying that they don't think that. | ||
| No one's arguing that they don't think that. | ||
| So you're saying, you don't think that. | ||
| So you're learning from that book. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Very clever. | ||
| I wouldn't say it that way. | ||
| What I would say is, there's a high likelihood that they at least suspected he had forced himself on some women. | ||
| And there was probably some rumors. | ||
| There was a 100% likelihood they knew he was a pig. | ||
| There was a high likelihood that there were some stories about some things that he had did that were probably criminal. | ||
| High likelihood. | ||
| I don't know how many people were privy to those stories. | ||
| I don't know how deep it got in. | ||
| Like if you're an agent, how many actresses do you actually get to send to Harvey Weinstein? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm sure whoever he wanted to see. | ||
| Right, but I don't know what that number is. | ||
| I don't know how much they actually knew. | ||
| What we can be pretty sure of at this point is there's no way all these women are lying. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| No, they're all... | ||
| I believe... | ||
| Look, I know... | ||
| Brad Pitt talks about the time he threatened to murder Harvey Weinstein. | ||
| That's a great story. | ||
| This is right after Gwyneth Paltrow was... | ||
| Harvey Weinstein made an advancement on Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt confronted him and said, I'll fucking kill you. | ||
| You do that again. | ||
| So this is the thing. | ||
| Brad Pitt knew. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So if Brad Pitt knows and he's one of the biggest movie stars, these agents know. | ||
| I don't want to... | ||
| He, per Paltrow, he approached Weinstein outside of a play premiere in 1995 and he told him, if you ever make her feel uncomfortable again, I'll kill you. | ||
| Brad Pitt went gangster on it, man. | ||
| Look, Joe, this is in 1995. 25 years ago, bro. | ||
| So you're telling me that these agents in the industry, I didn't even know the guy, but I heard these stories. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What it said is that he touched her inappropriately and invited her to his bedroom. | ||
| She told her then boyfriend, Brad Pitt, about it. | ||
| See, that's what I think most people had heard. | ||
| And that's gross, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not gross. | ||
| It's not great. | ||
| See, I think most people knew about that shit. | ||
| And Brad Pitt was willing to kill him over that, which I love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But, yeah, I just think it's a thing now where, like we talked about earlier, it was an overcorrection with Me Too that was well-deserved. | ||
| And now you're seeing these guys like Harvey and actually money's not going to get you out. | ||
| The Cosby's of the world, I think he's the tip of the monster pyramid. | ||
| There's Cosby because he... | ||
| They did this thing about him where they said he's probably the most prolific serial rapist in history, which is like, holy shit! | ||
| And he was doing it on the set of The Cosby Show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he would invite actresses to, oh, I want to make a guest appearance on The Cosby Show. | ||
| Here, have some tea. | ||
| Yeah, go to his trailer. | ||
| They wake up covered in jizz with an empty teacup. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| It's like, this is not the part I wanted. | ||
| Disgusting. | ||
| And then they're probably like, what happened? | ||
| Did that really happen? | ||
| Can you imagine if America's dad raped you and you're like, that? | ||
| Did that? | ||
| What? | ||
| Like you probably, if you were an actress and you went to him, you were probably thinking, okay, this guy is probably exactly like he is on TV. He's Mr. Huxtable. | ||
| He's going to be nice to me. | ||
| And, you know, he's just a nice guy. | ||
| He's just going to... | ||
| Try to help me out. | ||
| He helps people out. | ||
| I would think when these women woke up, they didn't believe it happened. | ||
| This is probably a big shock. | ||
| Well, they say that that's one of the things that happens with rape victims is that they sleep with the person willingly afterwards. | ||
| And it doesn't mean that they weren't raped, but it's almost like they are trying to erase the shame of rape by going back to that person and actually willingly having sex with them. | ||
| It was one of the arguments that Harvey Weinstein apparently had used, that these girls had willingly had sex with him after these encounters. | ||
| And then, you know, they tried to show that. | ||
| But psychologists talk about that and they say that this is a coping mechanism that some victims actually wind up using, which is just... | ||
| I mean, the mind plays crazy tricks on you, right? | ||
| And when you're going to someone who's America's dad, like Bill Cosby, you think he's going to help you out and give you that little boost and get you going in your career and you can't wait to be there with the Academy Award going. | ||
| And I just want to thank Bill Cosby because he gave me my first break and he's always been a beautiful mentor figure to me and a father figure. | ||
| Meanwhile, empty cup of tea and you got a headache and your pants are off. | ||
| You're like, what the fuck? | ||
| Yeah, man, I don't like the argument that people make. | ||
| You know, the actresses thank Harvey Weinstein and stuff like that. | ||
| It's like, you have to. | ||
| He paid for the movie. | ||
| You know, you can't be like, yo... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or the argument that they're not really victims because... | |
| Or the argument that, you know, oh, it took 20 years to say something. | ||
| You know, that stuff happens where you just don't want to say anything. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Look, it's a whore business. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And people whore themselves out in one way or the other. | ||
| There's men that whore themselves out and said things that they didn't really mean because they wanted to keep working. | ||
| So they praised people that they really probably despised. | ||
| There's probably a lot of that going on. | ||
| Yeah, you can't say just because all those people kissed his ass that he wasn't really a monster. | ||
| Monster, yeah. | ||
| But a lot of people use that argument. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| You really can't. | ||
| It's not valid. | ||
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| It makes sense that... | ||
| It's distorted, that the whole thing's distorted and gross. | ||
| Even more gross maybe than just a simple, he met this woman and then he tried to rape her. | ||
| It's even more gross. | ||
| Like, they worked together for long periods of time and her career success was dependent upon his acceptance of them. | ||
| I mean, that's like the ultimate state of power, right? | ||
| If you're the head of one of the biggest, most prominent movie studios in the world and you bang all the actresses and everyone knows it. | ||
| But also, if you go against him, he'll call the other studios and blackball you. | ||
| I think if it was just, okay, he runs this studio, and he did me wrong, and okay, we're not going to work with that studio. | ||
| He would go out of his way to call other people to blackball those people. | ||
| And that's where you're petrified. | ||
| Because, you know, like, we're comics. | ||
| But some people are actors, and that's what they do. | ||
| That's what they want to do. | ||
| So, it's a thing where... | ||
| If that's your thing, you have to play that game. | ||
| It's no different than the comedy store. | ||
| I'm past that prime of hanging out there because I have a family. | ||
| But that's the game. | ||
| You hang out in the club. | ||
| It becomes a fraternity. | ||
| And then you get passed. | ||
| You've got to invest time in that club. | ||
| In the comedy store. | ||
| And that's what everybody tells me. | ||
| And it's a thing where... | ||
| Are you not passed there? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you auditioned? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's how you get passed. | ||
| Yeah, but I heard they like to pass people that invest time. | ||
| How come you never just texted me and asked me to get you set up for an audition? | ||
| I don't ask. | ||
| I'll set that up. | ||
| I didn't even know. | ||
| I thought you already passed. | ||
| No, I'm there. | ||
| I've seen you there. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I perform there a lot, but those are promoter shows. | ||
| Promoter shows. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, be careful because they're probably going to eliminate those. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Because there's a lot of people that go up that are not really comedy store standard. | ||
| And someone will come the first time to the comedy store and they'll see a promoter show, and one of the promoters goes up and eats shit for 20 minutes in the middle of a star-stacked lineup, and you're like, what the fuck did I just see? | ||
| Or they put a girl they're trying to bang on the lineup. | ||
| That, a little bit of that. | ||
| I see, I see that a lot. | ||
| A little bit of that! | ||
| I see that a lot! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now I'm going to get heat for that. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Heat from who? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The girls that are throwing it towards the promoters? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I hate that I said that. | ||
| I know that it's going to come back. | ||
| It's true, though. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Because my friends are some of the promoters that go, oh, yeah, I'll put her on the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, really? | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| Look, there's weasels in all lines of work. | ||
| The promoter thing is a weird thing. | ||
| Yeah, you had your issues. | ||
| Well, everybody's had their issues. | ||
| But the big issue is the quality of the performers. | ||
| A lot of those guys that are promoting these shows, they really are not professional comics. | ||
| They kind of like are sometimes comics. | ||
| They occasionally do it. | ||
| So they'll insert themselves into these star-stacked lineups, like there's Dahlia and Jesselnick and all these things, and they'll get up in there and do 20 minutes in the middle of that. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Comedy store hates it. | ||
| Do you... | ||
| Like, I was with Jim Jeffries, is on my podcast this week, and he was talking about he doesn't like going to the comedy store because he's so used to performing in front of his own crowd that he actually gets kind of nervous going up at the comedy store because... | ||
| That's why it's good for you. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| So my thing is... | ||
| But it must be different from you, because anytime you're on the lineup, your fans show up there. | ||
| So you're always playing home court now. | ||
| Well, there's some home court to it, but there's also a bunch of people that are there to see D'Elia. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that are there to see Jessel Neck and Whitney Cummings and Ali Wong and whoever the fuck else is there. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| You get all those things. | ||
| You're winning people over, for sure. | ||
| Is it as... | ||
| Easy as no one knowing who you are? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or is it as hard, rather, as no one knowing who you are? | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It's much harder if people don't know who you are. | ||
| Then you have to really win them over. | ||
| But You know, I did that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've done that forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, I know what I'm doing. | ||
| Like, doing stand-up at this point is really about being honest about the material, reps, putting in the time, putting in the effort, putting in the focus, and then grinding. | ||
| You've got to grind. | ||
| You've got to trust the process. | ||
| Do you ever get nervous before you go on? | ||
| For sure! | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I get a little antsy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, get a little fucking, here we go, here we go, here we go. | ||
| I like that, man. | ||
| I like being nervous. | ||
| When I used to fight, when I wasn't nervous is when I had my worst performances. | ||
| Always. | ||
| I've got to relax. | ||
| Because you've got to be on edge, man. | ||
| Because it's an unnatural state, right? | ||
| Going on stage in front of thousands of people is an unnatural state. | ||
| You should be a little on edge. | ||
| It shouldn't be like waking up or going to the gym or anything normal. | ||
| It should be weird. | ||
| It should be weird. | ||
| Every time I go on stage, it's fucking weird. | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| It's the closest, because I don't fight, but like gladiator. | ||
| Like you're a gladiator walking into an arena, except they're not cheering you on at the beginning. | ||
| They want to make me laugh. | ||
| But with you, when they see you, they're like, ah! | ||
| But you still gotta make them laugh. | ||
| You gotta crush it. | ||
| Well, also, I have all these things that I put into my head before I go on stage. | ||
| Not just about the material itself, because I have the... | ||
| Over the last three or four years, I've altered my preparation for shows. | ||
| And one of the big things is index cards. | ||
| I take index cards and I write down all my shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I'll spend a whole hour just writing on index cards. | ||
| And then in my hotel room before that, I will write. | ||
| And it doesn't even have to be about the material that I'm doing. | ||
| Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not, but I will write for over an hour. | ||
| I'll make sure I do that. | ||
| So I have two hours of solid writing the day of a show. | ||
| And that's just to keep everything going. | ||
| I want everything popping and sharp. | ||
| I don't want it to be, oh, let me think about my bits right before I go on stage. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm thinking about that shit all day long, and then I think about people getting babysitters. | ||
| I think about people dragging their wife. | ||
| Their wife's like, he's not even funny. | ||
| I think about all that shit. | ||
| I want all those people to have a good time, man. | ||
| I think about people paying money. | ||
| I think about people saving money. | ||
| I think about people taking trips and driving in their cars and getting on planes and coming to see me. | ||
| I get jazzed up, man. | ||
| I get fired up. | ||
| I want to do a good job. | ||
| I don't ever take it for granted. | ||
| I think these people paid money. | ||
| They invested their time in me. | ||
| I don't want to let them down. | ||
| No, that's great. | ||
| Because it's almost like by you preparing like that, you've already done the set five times before you even hit the stage. | ||
| So you're like, where so many people just, oh, what are you going to do? | ||
| Oh, I don't know. | ||
| I'll figure it out when I'm up there. | ||
| They're not paying all this money for you to figure it out while you're But here's the difference. | ||
| When I do the Comedy Store, sometimes I don't do that. | ||
| Yeah, you work out. | ||
| Yeah, and one of the reasons why I don't do that is because I am trying to experiment. | ||
| And I'll do things backwards, where I'll do my closing bit first, or I'll do punchlines first, then try to reinvent the beginning of it at the end. | ||
| And I'll do that just to try to figure out if I'm doing a bit the right way, because you don't really know. | ||
| I know the beats, I know where there's jokes, I know where it's funny, and I know the premise. | ||
| But I don't know if I'm doing it the right way. | ||
| I need to find out. | ||
| And there's a lot of guys that they'll come up with a premise, and they'll start working it, and they never change it. | ||
| It gets a few laughs, and it could have been better, but they never allowed it to grow. | ||
| They never were loose. | ||
| They never opened it up. | ||
| So I'll get baked as fuck. | ||
| I'll drink. | ||
| I'll have a couple shots of whiskey, and I'll go on stage and just ramble. | ||
| And sometimes that's not my best set. | ||
| But sometimes it hits a groove and then you catch this new part of a bit that's way better than any other version of it's been before and then it becomes your closing bit. | ||
| It's a gym in a lot of ways. | ||
| There's a whole process to it, but that shit doesn't happen in arenas. | ||
| When I do an arena, I got music playing in the green room. | ||
| I'm pacing and shadowboxing. | ||
| I stretch. | ||
| I do yoga. | ||
| I do cardio the day of. | ||
| That's another thing I do before every show. | ||
| I always do cardio. | ||
| I want to blow off all the extra steam. | ||
| I don't want any bullshit in my head. | ||
| I want to look... | ||
| Pump it out, sweat it out, stretch. | ||
| So I've covered my mental bases. | ||
| I've covered my material. | ||
| I've covered my brain preparation. | ||
| I've covered my gratitude. | ||
| I've covered all those things. | ||
| Cover all those things. | ||
| And when I go out there, I'm still nervous. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I just love what you're doing with this podcast, what you're doing with Stand Up. | ||
| Last time I was here... | ||
| It changed my life. | ||
| And I'm telling you, it changed my life in a good way because, you know, I said I didn't work out. | ||
| And I never got so many shirtless pics of dudes saying... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Going, dude, when you work out, you don't have to get big. | |
| You can be shredded. | ||
| So they were sending me, your audience was sending me workouts, and it inspired me to start working out. | ||
| And so I started going to the gym, and I tried out, you know, I do a lot of research, so I tried different things. | ||
| I tried the ones where you run around, jump up and down. | ||
| It wasn't my thing. | ||
| Run up and jump down. | ||
| You know those boot camps and all that stuff. | ||
| I don't want to call it. | ||
| 45, that kind of shit? | ||
| Yeah, that's not me. | ||
| I'm a college football player. | ||
| I'm a high school football player. | ||
| I need weights in organization. | ||
| So I did research, but nobody just does weights. | ||
| And I found a place called Lift Society. | ||
| It's changed my life. | ||
| Literally, every day, you do glutes, I mean, you do legs one day, you do chest one day, or upper body one day, and it just rotates, and you change workouts every week. | ||
| It goes from 12 to 10 to 8. It's just like college football. | ||
| And the thing is, you control, you have your own rack. | ||
| So they only let like nine people in the class, and it's one trainer. | ||
| So it's almost like a personal training, because you're all doing the same thing, and nobody's in your space. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah. | |
| And it's all weights. | ||
| It's none of this jumping around, grabbing a rope, and throwing balls. | ||
| I just need weights. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But do you do any cardio? | ||
| No. | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| Don't you want to do a little cardio? | ||
| Do I, Joe? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Man, I've lost, like, way a little bit more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But don't... | |
| It's not for weight loss. | ||
| It's for heart health. | ||
| Well, but when you're doing squats, bro, your heart's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bro. | |
| yeah Like, your heart is going crazy. | ||
| Squats. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Especially doing the high reps. | ||
| Yeah, we're doing 12 reps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, okay. | |
| Five sets of 12, and then it goes 4, 3. Man, I don't know. | ||
| I weigh a little more, but I'm a lot more shredded and strong. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, I love lifting weights. | ||
| Do you feel better? | ||
| 100% better. | ||
| See, there you go. | ||
| That's what's up. | ||
| I don't have muscle legs, but my legs are strong now. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I believe it. | |
| You used to be able to touch, like the first time I came here, you could touch my leg, it would touch my bone. | ||
| Like literally. | ||
| Squishy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Squishy. | |
| Now it's tight. | ||
| You have muscle memory, which is interesting, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But your body goes, oh yeah, we're playing football again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's why I don't go super heavy, because I will explode. | ||
| That's why it's so hard for people that have never done jack shit. | ||
| That's the hardest, for people who have never done jack shit to get in shape, because their body's like, what in the fuck are we doing? | ||
| Whereas with you, your body's like, oh, we're getting big again. | ||
| We know how to do it. | ||
| We're getting strong again. | ||
| We know how to lift weights. | ||
| We did this. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm not into the jumping around classes. | ||
| The body's so interesting, man. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I went years, especially when I was doing jujitsu, I went years without hitting the bag or doing any kicks. | ||
| And then one time someone asked me to explain something. | ||
| And like, how do you do that thing? | ||
| Like, I heard about a spinning backpack. | ||
| I'm like, I'll show you how to do it. | ||
| And I went over to the bag and I'm like, part of me was like, do I really know how to do this? | ||
| Like, I haven't done this in years. | ||
| Is this like a false memory? | ||
| Like, is this real? | ||
| Do I really know? | ||
| And then I start doing it and then my body's like, oh, we're doing this shit again. | ||
| I know how to do this. | ||
| It just clicks. | ||
| But it's weird because it doesn't seem real. | ||
| Like, it's like when I'm about to do it, I'm like, come on. | ||
| I'm going to fall my ass right here. | ||
| Do I really know what I'm doing? | ||
| Like when you don't do something for a long time, your body has to like kind of go, oh yeah, oh I remember this. | ||
| You have to do it a couple times. | ||
| Yeah, you have a memory. | ||
| Like I have a memory of it. | ||
| But that memory seems fake. | ||
| I have a lot of memories in my life that seem really fake. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh yeah, man. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Well, life is weird, right? | ||
| And my life is very weird. | ||
| My life is weird. | ||
| Everyone's life is weird. | ||
| Life is weird. | ||
| We're these weird monkeys that are clinging to a rock that's hurling through space. | ||
| There's no roof above us. | ||
| Sky is infinite. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| We're gonna live a certain amount of time and then we're gonna die and we don't even know what the fuck happens then. | ||
| There's that. | ||
| And then there's Famous Weird, which is really weird. | ||
| And then there's Famous Weird that's... | ||
| I've lived so many different lives. | ||
| So I have these lives in my past where I'm like, boy, is that real? | ||
| Did I do that stuff? | ||
| Wait, wait, now I'm getting lost. | ||
| Martial arts stuff? | ||
| Oh, martial arts, okay, gotcha. | ||
| Fighting, fighting, but even stand-up, man. | ||
| Like, there's moments before I go on stage where it's like, do I really do this? | ||
| Like, it's a weird freak-out when you're about to get introduced in a fucking sold-out arena. | ||
| And you're in the back and you're like, is this real? | ||
| Do I really do this? | ||
| Like, I feel like I have a false memory of me doing this. | ||
| Like, I know I did all that stuff. | ||
| I know I did all that preparation. | ||
| But then you've got to kind of trust it. | ||
| And then they go, ladies and gentlemen, Joe Rogan. | ||
| You go out there and you're like, what's up? | ||
| What's up? | ||
| What's up? | ||
| And then it all falls into place. | ||
| And you have to trust the process. | ||
| But you've got to do it a lot to trust it. | ||
| That's why stand-up, it's so critical to do the reps. | ||
| You've got to do mad reps. | ||
| And I've fucked that up in the past before, man. | ||
| I've done that in the past where I was only working one or two shows on the weekend and that's it. | ||
| That's all I was doing for a few years, a couple years. | ||
| And my performances suffered. | ||
| They did. | ||
| They weren't as good. | ||
| You have to do a lot of reps, man. | ||
| That's what I love about stand-up. | ||
| It's stage time. | ||
| It's the great equalizer. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I know comics that say, I've been doing it 15 years, but there's stage time maybe five or six years. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because that's the thing. | ||
| Russell Peters said it doesn't matter how many years you do it. | ||
| It matters the stage time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Because stage time makes the years. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| This is why it's not true. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because you need reflection time, too. | ||
| So the time in between that stage time is critical as well. | ||
| It's not just the time you go on stage. | ||
| It's the time you think about that as well. | ||
| You can't just get 10 years worth of stand-up in three years. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| You won't ever be able to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you're not going to grow enough as a human. | ||
| And also your values and your perception will be distorted because you'll be too stand-up centric. | ||
| One of the things about stand-up that I've found, you have to have other life experiences. | ||
| And I think my other life experiences enhance my stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, I think he was more talking about the people that have done it. | ||
| Oh, scrubs. | ||
| Yeah, no, I don't want to say that. | ||
| The scrubs. | ||
| Everybody's equal. | ||
| No, no, no, they're not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're not equal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's people that do it just for girls. | |
| I know lots of comedians that just do it. | ||
| I've been doing comedy for 15 years, but really, you're just doing it for the girls. | ||
| You don't have to mention any names. | ||
| I know a lot of those dudes. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| Those guys suffer. | ||
| They suffer. | ||
| They suffer because they know. | ||
| They know they could have really pursued it as a real art form. | ||
| They could have... | ||
| I appreciated the unbelievably fortunate position that you are in, where you have an opportunity to be a professional stand-up comedian. | ||
| And I think a lot of those guys, they probably never had real jobs. | ||
| If you had a real job working on a construction site or doing something hard, driving limos, working in a fucking shitty office, sitting in a cubicle every day, suffering. | ||
| And then internalizing that suffering and realizing, I don't want to fucking do this. | ||
| God, I wish I could be a comedian. | ||
| God, I wish I could be a professional. | ||
| You know, Greg Fitzsimmons and I, we started out exactly the same time, like a week apart from each other. | ||
| Greg and I have been buddies forever. | ||
| And one of the things that we talk about is when we first started in Boston, we never thought about having a career. | ||
| All we thought about is, man, if I could imagine if I could pay my bills doing stand-up. | ||
| Greg has won multiple Emmys. | ||
| He's had Showtime specials and headlines all over the country. | ||
| And we were talking about it. | ||
| It's like, I never would have dreamed that would have been possible. | ||
| It wasn't even a dream. | ||
| The dream was make a living. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Just make a living. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's why I was saying it was so inspiring, like, coming on this podcast, because it kind of was a domino thing after doing this, because to me, this podcast is very inspirational to people, and it was the moment I was on here. | ||
| So I did this whole lifting, then I listened to the David Goggins book, and I was like, oh my god, this dude's crazy and a beast. | ||
| And I did the mirror thing. | ||
| Like he said, the first thing on my mirror is WTFO. Work the fuck out. | ||
| Right? | ||
| So that's the first thing I do in the morning. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| And I go, if this dude can go through all this, I can wake up and work out in the morning. | ||
| And then comedy's up there and then sell a TV show, which already happened this year that's going to be announced in a couple weeks. | ||
| So it's a thing where... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Congratulations. | |
| Thanks. | ||
| But it's a thing where sometimes you just need to see it firsthand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because once I saw what you've done live, I've seen it on YouTube, but once you hear and you feel the magnitude of it, it was like, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| I need to really start pushing harder. | ||
| And I need to really focus just on comedy, on podcasting. | ||
| I built me a podcast. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| It was just so inspiring. | ||
| And then it just... | ||
| Dominoed into more and more things where and it had a lot to do with your listeners like saying jiu-jitsu gyms reaching out to me because I said I wanted to try that you should try it you're built for it man you told me not to because my knee I have knee problems that's right what's wrong with your knee again it's a meniscus I did no I never got it fixed hmm so but get it scoped but like the shirtless dudes in the whole the whole to just it bother you right now your knee yeah Yeah, all the time? | ||
| Well, I squat and stuff. | ||
| It's fine, but I couldn't imagine somebody like... | ||
| I did one of these classes where I just jump around a little bit and hurt it. | ||
| Did you ever get an MRI? I did. | ||
| They said it's just rough, like it's grinding on each other. | ||
| So they injected it with the gel. | ||
| What gel is that? | ||
| I can't remember what they threw in. | ||
| Hyaluronic acid? | ||
| Yes, yes, yes, yes. | ||
| So they did that. | ||
| That'd probably give you a little bit of space. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Helped it a little bit. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So it feels better, but I know I couldn't take, like, man, somebody punches me or hits me, I'll evaporate, man. | ||
| Literally, I'll be poof. | ||
| Yeah, but you don't have to get hit. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu's not about getting hit. | ||
| It's just grappling. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| No? | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I don't think I could handle that. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| Baby steps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I just started working out again. | ||
| But I can send you to someone who can inject some stem cells into your knee that'll help you a lot. | ||
| Do you believe in stem cells? | ||
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've had some significant results. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| In fact, results that are shown on the MRI. I had a full-length rotator cuff tear in my right shoulder that they were thinking I was going to need surgery on. | ||
| I got some stem cells, and less than a year later, I had two stem cell injections, and less than a year later, I got another MRI, and it was gone. | ||
| Have you heard of... | ||
| That means the tear disappeared. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| It healed up. | ||
| PRP and something called exosomes. | ||
| Exosomes and PRP fixed my shoulder. | ||
| I've done PRP on my knee once. | ||
| That can help. | ||
| No, it did help for like a couple years. | ||
| But have you done NDA? Yes. | ||
| No, not IV. No, I've done... | ||
| The pills? | ||
| I've done the pills. | ||
| And we've talked about having an IV lady come down here. | ||
| Why do I say lady? | ||
| NAD, not NDA. Oh, what did you say? | ||
| NDA is like a non-disclosure agreement, but NAD is... | ||
| Oh, NAD. I'm sorry. | ||
| I translated it in my head. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| NAD. Yeah, NAD. Did I say NDA? I want to know they're really in my system. | ||
| It's so ridiculous. | ||
| No, NAD. Yeah, NAD. Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I heard that's the shit. | ||
| I've never done the, but I take the pills, but I've never done the intravenous. | ||
| I've heard the intravenous is a motherfucker. | ||
| I want to try it, but the only thing that scares me, I have a doctor friend, so he's like, oh, you got to try it. | ||
| You got to try it. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| What scares you? | ||
| Well, the tightness of chest when they do it. | ||
| Oh, that's, yeah. | ||
| It's supposed to be your gut, apparently. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So the 10-minute version, the 10-minute push version really is painful. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Well, he says it takes like three, four hours. | ||
| Yeah, the three, four hour one is easy, apparently. | ||
| The ten minute one is the one where you're like, Jesus. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| We'll do it together. | ||
| I'll hold your hand. | ||
| Oh, hell no. | ||
| I'm just scared. | ||
| I'm scared of that. | ||
| Because my friend's name is Dr. Shaw, and he's amazing. | ||
| He's the type of dude where we'll just go to lunch and he'll tell me all the new stuff that's coming out. | ||
| And he owns this place called Next Health. | ||
| It's awesome, but we'll go to lunch right next door and he'll just break down everything. | ||
| And he's like, dude, NAD. It restores cells. | ||
| It won't necessarily keep your life, you won't live longer, but your cells get younger and they work better. | ||
| Your heart will pump blood better. | ||
| Everything will be better. | ||
| But you have to do it five days in a row. | ||
| Five days in a row? | ||
| Five days in a row. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For how long? | |
| Five days in a row. | ||
| But how often? | ||
| Well, he said like once a year. | ||
| Once a year? | ||
| Just five days in a row? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Yeah, but it's like three to four hours, man. | ||
| Like, it's 750 milliliter. | ||
| I think you can do it in ten minutes if you can gut it out. | ||
| No. | ||
| I bet you can. | ||
| No. | ||
| I bet David Goggins would do it in ten minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, here's what I didn't understand about David Goggins. | |
| The dudes stretch for two hours. | ||
| Yep, every night. | ||
| Every night! | ||
| I want to know this routine. | ||
| How could you stretch for two hours? | ||
| He just does it. | ||
| He doesn't have a job, first of all. | ||
| He made, I don't want to say his numbers, but he made an ungodly amount of money on his book. | ||
| And he doesn't even own a car. | ||
| He goes, I'm a black Jew! | ||
| I don't spend no money on no car! | ||
| So he runs everywhere like his videos. | ||
| His wife has a car and he doesn't buy a car. | ||
| He's not spending any of that money. | ||
| He's the real deal. | ||
| He's not posing. | ||
| That's that guy all day long, 24 hours a day. | ||
| And he's honest about every step in the way. | ||
| He goes, sometimes... | ||
| I get up and I just look at my sneakers. | ||
| I look at my sneakers for like a half hour. | ||
| I don't do shit. | ||
| I just sit there. | ||
| I feel sorry for myself. | ||
| Like, I don't really want to run. | ||
| But then it's that, fuck you, bitch. | ||
| You're gonna run. | ||
| Run, motherfucker. | ||
| And he goes, and then once I run, then I feel it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, and then when I run, I get mad at myself for not wanting to run earlier. | |
| So I run more. | ||
| He's honest about his vulnerabilities and his weakness. | ||
| He's honest about who he is. | ||
| But it's also, there's no question he's going to get everything done. | ||
| He's a complex individual. | ||
| And I think because of the fact that he's so honest about all that stuff, it makes him even more intriguing. | ||
| All the pictures of him when he was drinking milkshakes and he was 300 pounds, he loves showing those to people. | ||
| He's like, that was me. | ||
| Because that was me. | ||
| I was a fat fuck. | ||
| I was a fat fuck. | ||
| I was lazy. | ||
| He's like, the first time I went running, I ran like a quarter of a mile, and I was gassed out, and I sit on the side of the road. | ||
| But do you believe, like, in that book, he thinks everybody has that in him? | ||
| Do you think everybody... | ||
| Not to that degree. | ||
| Man, because that book was insane. | ||
| Well, I think... | ||
| It depends. | ||
| I mean, everybody has that in him if you choose to act the way he acts. | ||
| But that book is insane. | ||
| And you learn, because I read the book as well, you learn from that book. | ||
| And the audio book I would actually recommend over the book. | ||
| Oh, it's so good. | ||
| Because in between chapters, he talks about all the different things that happened and actually elaborates in a more extensive way. | ||
| It makes you go, holy shit. | ||
| Like, his life was hell. | ||
| His father was a monster, and he did not have a happy childhood by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
| It was filled with torture and racism and strife and struggle, and he felt sorry for himself, and it was terrible. | ||
| But all those demons, now he has those motherfuckers locked up pushing the wheel. | ||
| You know that iron wheel that Conan was on? | ||
| They're in his head now, pushing his wheel. | ||
| He's got those motherfuckers working for him now. | ||
| They work for him. | ||
| He's in control. | ||
| And so that fuel is not everybody. | ||
| Everybody doesn't have those demons. | ||
| The person that's gone through the kind of life that David Goggins has had is the type of person that has those demons. | ||
| And all of those long-distance motherfuckers, they all have demons. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My friend Cam Haynes, he's got a ton of demons. | ||
| He'll tell you. | ||
| He's like, you would not want to have had my childhood. | ||
| It was not a happy childhood. | ||
| And those people that, like, you would think that having a happy childhood is good. | ||
| And that's what I'm trying to provide for my family, and I know that's what you're trying to provide for your family. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But to be there and to be loving and to be playful and be supportive and all the good things that I wish I had when I was a kid. | ||
| I want to provide that to my kids. | ||
| But part of the reason why I'm who I am is because my childhood sucked. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| It didn't suck as bad as David Goggins. | ||
| It didn't suck as bad as people that have been raped and didn't suck as bad as people who were continually molested and beaten and all those things. | ||
| I want to compare with someone who was a real victim. | ||
| It's just mine wasn't good. | ||
| But it wasn't happy. | ||
| And that drove me. | ||
| That drove me. | ||
| I needed to prove my value. | ||
| I don't know my dad. | ||
| I needed to prove my self-worth. | ||
| I needed to prove that I was worth something. | ||
| I didn't feel like I was as good as other kids. | ||
| I felt insecure. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Always growing up. | ||
| It wasn't until I started being good at something that I realized you could get positive reactions from people from being good at something. | ||
| And then I became obsessed with being good at things. | ||
| And so that became my life. | ||
| It became, I know what to do now. | ||
| I know how to grind. | ||
| So do you think when people have a great upbringing, for them to be successful, it's actually, it's harder. | ||
| It's harder. | ||
| It's harder. | ||
| Because you have everything. | ||
| Show me a man who's the son of a great man. | ||
| Show me a great man who's the son of a great man. | ||
| It's very rare. | ||
| It's very rare. | ||
| Most men who are the sons of great men struggle in the shadow of their father. | ||
| Most of them. | ||
| Because the kid doesn't have to struggle. | ||
| The kid doesn't have to struggle. | ||
| You're comparing yourself to someone who is exceptional and you're always in their shadow. | ||
| The only time it's different is in sports. | ||
| Occasionally, those fathers... | ||
| Mentor those kids and those kids derive a bunch of self-esteem and a bunch of positive feedback from that parent if the parent does it correctly. | ||
| Like Ilio Gracie, who's the founder of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, one of the founders along with Carlos Gracie. | ||
| One of the things that he did with his children, and Ilya was a great man, and his children are fucking assassins. | ||
| I mean, he developed literally an army of the greatest martial artists the world has ever known. | ||
| One of the things he did when they would compete, he would give them prizes if they lost. | ||
| He didn't put any pressure on them. | ||
| He understood early on that putting pressure on kids and making, like, this is your whole life, they crack, they break, they just can't take it anymore, and then they wind up doing drugs, and they escape, and they give up. | ||
| He made it playful. | ||
| He made it fun for them. | ||
| And then when things were terrible and they lost, they felt awful, he would give them a toy. | ||
| He would buy them things. | ||
| And he was like, you did your best. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| No pressure. | ||
| No pressure like that. | ||
| And I don't know if that would work on everybody, but God damn it would work on his kids. | ||
| It's Hoist Gracie, Hickson Gracie, Hoyler Gracie, Helson. | ||
| Those are the greatest martial artists the world's ever known. | ||
| All out of one man. | ||
| All one man's children. | ||
| And because this guy had this philosophy on not putting pressure on them and being loving. | ||
| So it can be done. | ||
| But most people are not going to do it that way. | ||
| Because to him, probably when he was coming up, he was punished for losing. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, it's hard to tell. | ||
| I don't know what his life was like with his father. | ||
| I've never read into it. | ||
| But I think that it's really hard to come from a happy, loving life. | ||
| And be exceptional. | ||
| And be charismatic. | ||
| Guys like Joey Diaz, right? | ||
| Where's the Joey Diaz come from? | ||
| You can't make a Joey Diaz in a lab. | ||
| He's a fucking animal. | ||
| He's a savage. | ||
| And the shit that he says on stage and how funny he is, bro, you gotta have a hard life. | ||
| Joey Diaz found his mother dead on the floor while he was on acid when he was 13 years old, okay? | ||
| And his dad was already gone by that point. | ||
| And he was adopted by his friend's parents. | ||
| Like, Joey Diaz has had a hard fucking life. | ||
| I would never wish that on anybody. | ||
| Especially my children. | ||
| But that is what made him the animal that he is today. | ||
| You read David Goggin's book. | ||
| That struggle made him who he is. | ||
| Mike Tyson, terrible childhood. | ||
| Became this ferocious combat sports athlete. | ||
| Probably one of the greatest heavyweight champions of all time. | ||
| A legend, right? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Out of pain, out of suffering, out of understanding that you don't want to ever go back to that place again. | ||
| You have to find some way out. | ||
| So I think that's why some parents, you know, they call them the helicopter parent or the dad that's always at football practice that's yelling at their son. | ||
| You know, like, I think... | ||
| They know that too, so they try to make, sometimes parents try to make it more difficult on their kids. | ||
| I think those people are usually living vicariously through their children, and they usually were bitch athletes, and they want their kids to be good. | ||
| Are you competitive? | ||
| Are you a competitive dad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| What do you mean? | ||
| In what way? | ||
| When my kids do sports, I make a real concerted effort to be happy for everybody, to clap for everybody. | ||
| The other team, to say, that was really good. | ||
| When my daughters play sports, they played basketball and soccer and a bunch of other shit. | ||
| I always go out of my way to say, that girl on the other team is really good. | ||
| Wow, look how good she is at passing. | ||
| No judgment. | ||
| No, fuck that team. | ||
| We're number one. | ||
| That's nonsense. | ||
| Some of those parents do that shit, and then it gets me upset. | ||
| I'm like, that little girl knows how to hustle. | ||
| Look at her go. | ||
| I make an effort to praise everybody. | ||
| See, I would be like that, but right now my son is two, and I get mad when other two-year-olds are bigger than him. | ||
| I'm that dude right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You love him. | |
| It's hard. | ||
| I love him, but I want him to be the biggest, the best. | ||
| Why the biggest? | ||
| You're a big guy. | ||
| He's going to be a big kid. | ||
| Some kids grow later. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| How big is your wife? | ||
| She's 5'9". | ||
| So you're going to have a big kid. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| But right now... | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| Feed him. | ||
| Give him elk meat. | ||
| I'll give you some. | ||
| But the doctor was like, well, he's on the smaller side. | ||
| And that really messed me up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, don't let him fuck with that! | |
| It's a... | ||
| And so now, every time, and I hate that I'm this guy, every time, I'm always like, hey, how was your kid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's two. | |
| I know, but I'm that dude, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| But I won't be that after I know. | ||
| Like, he's very athletic. | ||
| He hits a golf ball like a beast already. | ||
| At two? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Joe. | ||
| Yo, you got another Tiger Woods coming? | ||
| Do me a favor. | ||
| You have to see this, Joe. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Pull up my Instagram. | ||
| Go down about six rows. | ||
| It's sad that I know exactly where it is. | ||
| But... | ||
| And it's a photo of him or a video of him? | ||
| No, it's a video of him. | ||
| Hitting a golf ball? | ||
| Out of the yard, like over a fence. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And this was six months ago. | ||
| So he was just turned to. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I don't force it on him. | ||
| I want to put him through golf. | ||
| He watches it on TV because I like watching golf sometimes. | ||
| So he watches it. | ||
| It's him. | ||
| You see it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's amazing. | ||
| We take him to, sometimes he'll, he has the ass to play. | ||
| So if he asks me, he'll go, I want to go, like, to range. | ||
| So I'll take him to the driving range. | ||
| Professional golfers sit there and watch him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Coaches, coaches will, how do, okay. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Go back a couple more. | ||
| Go back a couple more. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There is, it's right, where is it, where is it, where is it? | |
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This one? | |
| Yes! | ||
| That one right there. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Over the fence. | ||
| And watch him hold it. | ||
| Dude, that's incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's incredible for a two-year-old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He got some fucking air time there. | ||
| Look at that thing go. | ||
| Yeah, over the fence. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And the ball looks so big because he's little. | ||
| So little, yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's nuts. | ||
| Over the fence. | ||
| Dude, and we didn't even teach him. | ||
| See, that's incredible. | ||
| You didn't teach him how to do that? | ||
| No, he watched it on TV, and I don't know how to play golf. | ||
| I've never played golf. | ||
| You don't know how to play golf? | ||
| I've never played golf. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You watch golf and you don't play golf? | ||
| When Tiger Woods, you remember when he won the, this was about the time, like six, seven, eight months ago, when he won the, he came back and made a big win. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And I was like, oh, let's watch it. | ||
| So my son started like, golf, golf, golf. | ||
| So we grabbed a golf club. | ||
| My father-in-law plays golf, but he comes over sometimes. | ||
| But my son just took to it, picked up a golf club, we bought him some stuff, and he just started hitting balls. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's bananas. | ||
| But that's really crazy. | ||
| Because if he can do that with twisting the torso, and he knows how to rotate his feet, that's one of the things that kids get stuck when you teach them martial arts. | ||
| They don't rotate their feet. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Because the way to get torque is you have to pivot on the ball on your feet. | ||
| He's doing that instinctively. | ||
| Already got it. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's what he's mirroring. | ||
| So I was saying these coaches are like, how old is he? | ||
| I'm like, two. | ||
| They're like, okay. | ||
| Let me know when he's five. | ||
| Because they can't coach a kid until they're five. | ||
| I guess that's some kind of golf rule or something. | ||
| Dude, he's going to be a wizard by the time he's five. | ||
| Take him to miniature golf and work on his putting skills. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then by the time he's five. | ||
| Dude, I'm going to be retired in about 17 years. | ||
| He feels pro, dude. | ||
| I'm just talking about gravy training. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's me. | |
| There's so much money in golf. | ||
| Like that's something you should really... | ||
| I have a friend and his daughter is playing golf and he got her into golf specifically because he said that's a great way to get a scholarship. | ||
| If you could go back and play what sport, what would it be? | ||
| Me, it's golf, 100%. | ||
| Pool. | ||
| I wish pool had a professional league. | ||
| I mean, it does have a professional league, but you can't make any money. | ||
| Well, I'm talking about money. | ||
| Like, if you go back and play one thing to make money. | ||
| I avoided golf because I get addicted to games, and I knew golf would take eight hours. | ||
| I would see comics that would really get into golf, and I'd see their comedy slip off. | ||
| Because they were paying too much attention to golf. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that ain't good. | ||
| And you're tired. | ||
| You're walking around the course all day with a fucking bag of clubs because comics are poor. | ||
| They can't afford a caddy or a fucking golf cart. | ||
| You're playing in public courses. | ||
| And I would see these guys. | ||
| They'd come in sunburnt, eight hours of drinking and knocking a ball around. | ||
| And then they'd be tired when they did stand-up. | ||
| And I was like, oh, I can't fuck with this. | ||
| That golf bag is heavy. | ||
| Also, I have a real addiction problem with games. | ||
| It's a real issue. | ||
| I get very, very, very addicted to games. | ||
| So I can't fuck with golf. | ||
| I know you love those shooter games, right? | ||
| I love all those games. | ||
| I love Quake. | ||
| Quake is the big one for me. | ||
| I love playing pool, too. | ||
| Playing pool was a huge part of my youth when I lived in New York. | ||
| I played in tournaments. | ||
| I played every day. | ||
| I would go to the comedy club. | ||
| This is what I would do. | ||
| This is my morning day. | ||
| I would get up around noon, usually. | ||
| I'd go to the gym, work out, go to the pool hall, hang out, play a little bit, go do my comedy show, come home from my comedy show, go straight to the pool hall. | ||
| I would bring my pool cue with me to the shows. | ||
| I'd leave it in my trunk. | ||
| And then on my way back from the comedy club, I would go straight to the pool hall. | ||
| I'd play all night. | ||
| So were you good? | ||
| Yeah, I was good. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I could play. | ||
| Like, I'm a B player. | ||
| I'm like, what you would call a B player. | ||
| Like, I've won tournaments before. | ||
| When I was playing every... | ||
| I mean, not like a big tournament. | ||
| But I played in some professional tournaments. | ||
| I never did well. | ||
| But, you know, I beat some people that were pretty decent players. | ||
| I never beat a real, like, legit pro. | ||
| But I could have played professional if I really put the time and effort into it. | ||
| Like, I can run out. | ||
| Like, I can break and run out a game of nine. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| I think the most I've broken and run out is... | ||
| I think I broke out four racks in a row, and I think I ran 70 balls playing straight pool. | ||
| It's not top of the food chain, but it's legit. | ||
| I can play a little bit. | ||
| What you would call a shortstop. | ||
| That's what you would call a shortstop player. | ||
| But I I mean, this is when I was in my early, early 20s. | ||
| If I dedicated myself to it, I had the desire and I had the interest to try to play professionally. | ||
| And the difference between someone who's an amateur and a professional is really just about time and focus and desire. | ||
| But there's no money in it. | ||
| If there was money in a professional pool, like golf money, I would have went pro. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| My thing is I wanted to be a professional football player until I got all these concussions. | ||
| Now I look at my son and everybody goes, are you going to let your son play football? | ||
| And I'm like, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't. | |
| I can't. | ||
| No. | ||
| I would let my son fight for sure. | ||
| I would never let him play football. | ||
| No. | ||
| Those are car wrecks happening every time each other hit each other in the head. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's exactly the way to look at it. | ||
| It's a car wreck. | ||
| Because, like, even when you get knocked out, like, it's not nearly, even occasionally it is, but most of the time it's not. | ||
| It's not nearly the kind of force that a football player gets hit all the time. | ||
| And you get hit like that in practice, you get hit like that in high school, you get hit like that in college, you get hit like that in all these games, and it all adds up, man. | ||
| It all adds up. | ||
| And a lot of these guys, by the time they're young, like, they said Aaron Hernandez, when he died, when they checked his brain, he had one of the worst cases of CTE they had ever seen. | ||
| Almost like his brain lived like 50 or 60. It was aged so much in a short amount of time. | ||
| Did you watch that documentary? | ||
| I haven't watched that documentary. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| But also when we go over the stuff that's in CTE, mood and all the other impulsive, bad behavior, all those issues, that was that guy's life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was what he did. | ||
| And how much of that shit came from playing football? | ||
| All of it. | ||
| A giant percentage of it. | ||
| A giant percentage of it. | ||
| Well, even football, when you get successful, it brings on the wrong kind of friends. | ||
| So even if it wasn't his head, money and fame brings different kind of people in your life, too. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| And also, you're being rewarded for being ultra-violent. | ||
| Your success comes from being ultra-violent. | ||
| That's a thing that happens with fighters. | ||
| You develop... | ||
| Skills to hurt people, right? | ||
| And then as you get better at hurting people, you get more accolades, you get more success, and then you delve further and deeper into this world of being this ultra-violent assassin. | ||
| And then that becomes your identity. | ||
| Your identity is you're the guy who smashes people. | ||
| You know, and it's a hard train to get off, too. | ||
| Once you're on that, and that's your life, and then all of a sudden you're 36, 37. And then you can't do it anymore. | ||
| Yeah, you can't do it anymore, or you're not doing it well, and you're becoming the nail, and not the hammer. | ||
| And you're like, fuck, what am I doing with my life? | ||
| And then with each fight that you have, when you're slipping a little bit, you say, I'm just going to fight until I'm 40. The real damage... | ||
| Is those ages 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 fights. | ||
| That's where the real damage is coming in. | ||
| Because those are the ones you're getting KO'd. | ||
| Those are the ones you're getting rocked all the time. | ||
| You know, you lost a step. | ||
| You've taken a lot of damage. | ||
| Maybe your knees are gone. | ||
| Maybe your back's fucked up. | ||
| And... | ||
| It's hard, man. | ||
| People have a tough time quitting. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Look, I see football players. | ||
| I used to know a lot of football players. | ||
| I would interview them and different things like that. | ||
| It's crazy that all your life, you're glorified as this one thing. | ||
| And then once it's gone, it's... | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| Like, I remember when I couldn't play college football anymore, it's like, what do I do now? | ||
| You get some type of depression where you're like, this is what I trained all my life for, and now it's gone, now what do I do? | ||
| Well, one of the reasons why I do so many different things is because I don't like banking on any one thing. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I don't think it's wise. | ||
| It's not good for me, either. | ||
| I like being interested in different stuff, you know? | ||
| That's also why I have all these hobbies. | ||
| I have all these different things that I'm interested in, whether it's playing pool or archery or hunting or any of these other things that I'm interested in. | ||
| I'm not just interested in them for the end, like with hunting, the end is always the Excellent meat that you get out of it and the fact that you're eating this organic, wild game that's the best food in the world. | ||
| That's for sure number one. | ||
| But it's also the difficulty in the pursuit allows me to express myself in a different way. | ||
| It also allows me, because I'm not that good at it. | ||
| I mean, I'm better at it than a regular person, but in terms of, like, I have friends that are, like, world-class archers and bowhunters, like my friends John Dudley and Cameron Haynes. | ||
| Those two guys are two of the very best bowhunters in the world, and they're my mentors, and they help me out a lot. | ||
| But I like sucking at things, because you can learn about yourself. | ||
| You learn about yourself from concentrating. | ||
| It's not something that's... | ||
| It's ingrained in my psyche, in my brain. | ||
| It's something that I have to concentrate on and practice every day. | ||
| And I think there's a real benefit in sucking at things. | ||
| Even if you're excellent at something, find something you suck at and get better at it. | ||
| There's real benefit to that, to being a beginner. | ||
| It stimulates your mind in a way that when you've already achieved a certain level of Of success or a certain level of high level of ability at something where you've been doing it most of your life. | ||
| You sort of like you get accustomed to this feeling of being really good at something. | ||
| The real growth is in sucking. | ||
| The real growth is in like... | ||
| That's why I like yoga. | ||
| I've been doing yoga for, like, fucking years. | ||
| I still suck. | ||
| I suck. | ||
| Like, most classes, I fall out of poses. | ||
| I don't ever, I mean, occasionally make it through the whole pose without falling out, sweating and shaking and straining. | ||
| But I never made it through an entire class without ever falling out of any poses. | ||
| I've never done that ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| I've never had one class where I made it to the end. | ||
| But I see these old ladies doing it right next to me all the time. | ||
| Crushing it. | ||
| Crushing it. | ||
| Little 90-year-old old lady just fucking holding her feet up in front of her. | ||
| Some people have done that kind of shit a long time. | ||
| I mean, it's great for them. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| The real growth in things is sucking. | ||
| Learning. | ||
| Learning. | ||
| Like, how do I do this? | ||
| What do I do? | ||
| Because then when you can do it, it's all the more gratifying. | ||
| It's all the more gratifying, but also it opens up new pathways in your mind when you learn. | ||
| Learning things. | ||
| Whether you're learning a language, and I'm talking out of my ass there because I don't know any languages. | ||
| But this is what I've been told, is that it helps you intellectually when you're learning a game like chess that's complex, when you're learning archery, when you're learning things that require all these moving parts to come together. | ||
| That's why martial arts is so good. | ||
| You're using your brain because you're thinking things through. | ||
| You're also using your brain because you're managing your emotions. | ||
| You're also using your brain because you're managing your discipline and your will because you don't want to quit. | ||
| And then you're using your brain to try to harden your body and condition your body and get it to the point where you can actually do jujitsu effectively. | ||
| And then you also have to get disciplined so that you go to the gym all the time. | ||
| So you have strength in order to execute these moves. | ||
| And you have cardiovascular endurance in order to survive the rounds. | ||
| All those things are not just good for jujitsu. | ||
| They're good for life. | ||
| Like my Taekwondo instructor said something to me when I was real young. | ||
| And he said, Taekwondo is a vehicle for developing your human potential. | ||
| And I was like, oh, I get it. | ||
| So this is just a thing I'm doing, and the better I get at this thing, now I understand how to get good at things. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| So when you do something new that you suck at, whether it's yoga or playing golf or anything... | ||
| The growth is in learning. | ||
| The growth is in figuring—oh, what do I—how am I holding it? | ||
| Like this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, like this here? | ||
| Like, you learn, and in learning, there's something that happens to you. | ||
| Like, your mind expands. | ||
| The synapses fire. | ||
| You see things better. | ||
| I'm so disappointed in myself because I said when my son was born, I have a lady that comes over and I tell her, just speak Spanish to him. | ||
| You know, three days a week. | ||
| And I said, by the time he's two or three, I'm going to know Spanish too because I'm going to learn it when he learns it. | ||
| Goddammit, I don't know one word of Spanish besides hola, right? | ||
| But I'm upstairs the other day, and this lady is talking to my son in Spanish, and he's answering in Spanish, and I have no idea what they're talking about. | ||
| A little wizard, a little golf play in Spanish. | ||
| He's like, hola, como estas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, what the hell? | |
| It is great for them, man. | ||
| Oh, it's so good. | ||
| But like my... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| My parents didn't... | ||
| Like, why wouldn't they teach me another... | ||
| Why wouldn't my mom talk to me in Korean? | ||
| She wanted to Americanize me because people made fun of her. | ||
| So now it's... | ||
| Like, it's cool to know other languages now. | ||
| Before, it was like, oh, you know, they would... | ||
| Do this to my mom. | ||
| You know, the Asian eyes to my mom. | ||
| So my mom was like, I got to Americanize you as soon as possible. | ||
| I don't want you to have to go through that. | ||
| And I feel cheated because I should know Korean. | ||
| I should know Spanish. | ||
| I lived in Texas and Miami. | ||
| And I'm just this dude that doesn't even... | ||
| I lived in Miami for eight years and don't know Spanish. | ||
| And Texas. | ||
| I'm pathetic. | ||
| And I said my daughter was born. | ||
| I go, you know what? | ||
| By the time she's three, I'm going to learn Spanish. | ||
| She's three months. | ||
| I haven't taken one class. | ||
| But I am, though. | ||
| I am going to start doing it. | ||
| Here's what you do. | ||
| What do you listen to when you're in your car, when you're driving around? | ||
| Books. | ||
| Books. | ||
| Just listen to Spanish. | ||
| Listen to things like one of those Rosetta Stone. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Last time I was here, I started working out. | ||
| Next time I come, I'm going to do my whole interview in Spanish. | ||
| You know, Tom Segura is doing his whole special in Spanish. | ||
| I didn't even know the dude spoke Spanish. | ||
| Tom Segura speaks fluent. | ||
| You should see him and his mom. | ||
| Him and his mom together doing a podcast in Spanish is fucking hilarious. | ||
| His mom's hilarious. | ||
| His mom farts so loud, and he caught her. | ||
| Like, Like she was farting like in the house and they were laughing at it and so then he filmed her when she didn't know and she's sitting in front of the kitchen and she rips this fucking tremendous fart. | ||
| Listen to them. | ||
| Play some of it because it's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See, he looks like a bro. | |
| Yeah, he does. | ||
| You know what's interesting? | ||
| People talk shit around him in Spanish, and then he'll like, wait, let it go for a little while, and then he'll just respond in perfect Spanish, and they're like, oh, fuck that. | ||
| Yeah, he just signed a two-deal Netflix special. | ||
| One in English and one in Spanish. | ||
| Dude, I could have done one in English and one in Korean. | ||
| Oh, Mom! | ||
| You're screwing me out of money over here! | ||
| Is there anyone who's doing other bilingual specials? | ||
| Is there anyone who's doing two different... | ||
| I mean, I'm sure there is, but... | ||
| Joey Diaz does Spanglish shows. | ||
| So he'll do, like, half of it in English and half of it in Spanish. | ||
| And he'll let the people know. | ||
| Like, he's doing some shows in Miami. | ||
| And he writes down, they're in Spanglish. | ||
| So he's letting people know. | ||
| A lot of what he's going to be doing is, like, Cuban-flavored stand-up. | ||
| Well, in Miami, all the radio stations, they're Spanglish. | ||
| Most of them. | ||
| Yeah, they go, hola, como estas? | ||
| All right, coming up. | ||
| And then they go, like, that's all I know. | ||
| That's sad. | ||
| That's all I know is hola, como estas? | ||
| You can learn. | ||
| I will. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I will. | ||
| Don't get aggressive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| Last time I was here, I started lifting weights and everything. | ||
| So now, next time I come, I'm speaking Spanish, Korean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beautiful. | |
| You got a podcast studio now. | ||
| You're rolling. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's inspiring. | ||
| Dude, you are inspiring. | ||
| Oh, thank you. | ||
| I'm very happy to hear that. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| But what I love about you, they're... | ||
| They are all about the positivity. | ||
| I know a lot of times they can leave some comments and stuff like that, but the people that reached out to me, and I don't read comments, but the people that directly DM me, it was all like, dude, this, this, this, this, this is sending me workouts. | ||
| And I was like, this is great, man. | ||
| This is what it's about. | ||
| That makes me very, very happy. | ||
| This is what it's about. | ||
| That is what it's about. | ||
| That makes me very happy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, man, I think if you put that out there, that's what comes back. | ||
| I think when you have a negative message, You know, you're going to get a lot of negativity your way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, people that are real negative all the time, their fans are all negative. | ||
| I mean, it just goes hand in hand, doesn't it? | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| It does. | ||
| Like, my friend, you know, I have a friend, you know, he hasn't broke or anything, but he's a comic, but when he goes up, he goes, I don't know why I always get heckled. | ||
| Like, literally every time I go up, I get heckled. | ||
| And I go, well, you're always yelling out the crowd. | ||
| He goes up yelling at the crowd. | ||
| If they don't laugh at the beginning, well, fuck you guys. | ||
| I mean, you're yelling at them. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| They're not laughing right now. | ||
| Well, I don't think it's them. | ||
| It's you, bitch. | ||
| Think about people that are inspiring. | ||
| Think about Goggins, right? | ||
| Goggins' message has changed so many people's lives. | ||
| And he's changing their lives, a lot of it, just by explaining what he does. | ||
| So he puts that energy out there, people attract that energy, and then they respond likewise. | ||
| They respond in turn. | ||
| That's what happens in this world. | ||
| And then there's always people that are hating on I don't like measuring up to someone and coming up short. | ||
| When you see a guy like David Goggins and you realize, like, I don't have that kind of will. | ||
| I just don't have that kind of will. | ||
| This guy's getting up every day and running marathons. | ||
| He broke the world record for the amount of chin-ups you can do in 24 hours. | ||
| But he's not asking you to do that. | ||
| Like this morning. | ||
| The perfect example. | ||
| At 4.30 I woke up. | ||
| And I always have coffee at 5.00. | ||
| You always wake up at 4.30? | ||
| 4.30. | ||
| Why? | ||
| After I read that book. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| I wake up at 4.30 now every morning. | ||
| And at 5.00 I drink a coffee and I work out at 6.00. | ||
| At 5.15 I was like, you know what? | ||
| Maybe I'm not going to. | ||
| And then WTFO. On my mirror, I was like, work the fuck out. | ||
| And I was like, I'm going to go. | ||
| Because of that book, I'm still drinking that Kool-Aid, man. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's good Kool-Aid, though. | ||
| So it's changed my life, man. | ||
| Like when I say I did this, it changed my life. | ||
| 4.30 every morning, and I go and I fall asleep around 9.00. | ||
| Every single day, that's my schedule. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| That's a good schedule. | ||
| And since the last time I've been here, I was like, look, I hosted a lot, but now I'm just going to invest in stand-up, and I know you're out of acting, but I want to just, I want to support, my goal by the end of this year is be able to 100% fully support my family just on stand-up. | ||
| You know, just touring. | ||
| And it's going to happen. | ||
| You can 100% do that. | ||
| You can 100% do that. | ||
| Yeah, it will. | ||
| The acting thing is fine if you love acting. | ||
| Like, I was watching this show last night that I'm addicted to, The Outsider, this HBO show. | ||
| I've heard of it. | ||
| I haven't seen it. | ||
| Woo, it's good. | ||
| When there's this one guy who plays the lead detective, he's such a good actor. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He's so good that it makes you want to act. | ||
| It makes you like, oh god damn, that would be like... | ||
| Acting with someone like that where you it's a real craft like there's a fucking dance that he's doing with those people He's acting with I really enjoy watching that and I'm like maybe maybe I could do something like that Maybe I would be interested in doing something like that because like there's not like The prejudice that I have about actors is because of the worst ones that I've worked with, or the worst ones that I've met, or the worst ones that I've known, that are just really annoying and self-obsessed. | ||
| They're doing nonsense. | ||
| They're like terrible comedians, but they don't have punchlines. | ||
| You know, terrible comedians are all about themselves and they just dominate every conversation talking about themselves and what they're doing and what they want to do and how they're not getting booked anywhere and it's because these people don't like them because they're fucking jealous because of this and that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| You know those people, right? | ||
| You know those people. | ||
| Alright, bye. | ||
| You gotta just keep moving with those people. | ||
| They'll stick to you like glue. | ||
| They're like leeches. | ||
| They just start sucking blood out of you. | ||
| Well, because they're always blaming other people for their downfall. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's like, well, you know, I'm not getting it because this person got it or I don't understand why this person is doing it because I was here way before them and I was like, well, that's a problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You had an opportunity. | ||
| Yeah, that's a problem. | ||
| You fuck something up and you don't want to listen. | ||
| You don't want to listen. | ||
| And some of them are good at taking advice, but most of them are bad. | ||
| Most of them, when you tell them, this is what you're doing wrong, they just go, yeah, that's not right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people don't want to hear their own issues, you know? | ||
| Because they haven't been saying it to themselves. | ||
| Like, there's not a fucking person on this planet that'll criticize me harder than I criticize myself. | ||
| Dude, I'm the same way. | ||
| I'll get up in the middle of the night to take a piss and I'll be like, you fucking loser. | ||
| Like, get your shit together. | ||
| Like, I know I've done a lot of crazy shit. | ||
| I know my life has been pretty extraordinary in terms of, like, amount of success that I've had. | ||
| I fucking, I'm still never happy. | ||
| Never happy with anything. | ||
| Anything I've done. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Well, you always can get better. | ||
| Always. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| Always. | ||
| And the people that, like, I don't understand, and I hope nobody takes this wrong way, but I don't understand how you could be in something, I don't care if it's comedy or working wherever, and you haven't shown progress, how do you stay in it? | ||
| How do you stay in it? | ||
| How do you stay in it? | ||
| You're just floating by. | ||
| Yeah, how are you not getting better? | ||
| They're not! | ||
| Yeah, but there's a lot of people like that, man. | ||
| There's people like that in everything. | ||
| I remember that in pool. | ||
| There was people that never developed the proper technique. | ||
| And I would watch them play. | ||
| I mean, years and years and years. | ||
| When I started, I sucked in the beginning. | ||
| And then there was people that also sucked with me. | ||
| Now, years later, I became a good player. | ||
| And those people stayed the same. | ||
| They still fucking suck. | ||
| They didn't put in the work. | ||
| Yeah, so when I would want to play with them, they didn't want to play. | ||
| I'm like, why don't you want to play? | ||
| They're like, you're too good. | ||
| I'm like, what do you mean I'm too good, bitch? | ||
| I started out after you. | ||
| Like, how come you're not any better? | ||
| Like, what's going on here? | ||
| Well, what's going on is they didn't really concentrate on evaluating what they're doing and looking at it from like a technical perspective, looking at it like your mechanics or your mechanics off, like the way your son hit that golf ball. | ||
| He is already on this crazy path where he understands physical mechanics. | ||
| Some people never get it. | ||
| I'm sure, I don't follow golf, but I'm sure if you went to a public golf course, there's guys right now that are 50 years old that can't hit a ball that good. | ||
| They've probably been playing their whole life. | ||
| They don't do it right. | ||
| Some people just don't learn. | ||
| I'm a fail fast person. | ||
| If I'm not good at something, I don't stay in it. | ||
| That's me. | ||
| I fail fast. | ||
| How is that possible? | ||
| Because you learned and got way better at stand-up. | ||
| Well, yeah, but I did okay my first couple times. | ||
| I was going to give myself three times. | ||
| I said, if I go up three times... | ||
| I did. | ||
| That was what I said. | ||
| Because I'm from that mentality. | ||
| Fail fast. | ||
| You know, because I don't invest time in something I don't think that's going to move forward for me. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, first time I did stand-up was the Miami Improv. | ||
| It went well. | ||
| Second night, I opened up for the Waynes Brothers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, you were at first night, you were already a radio personality. | ||
| Yeah, in Miami. | ||
| So I was home team. | ||
| And then Wayne's Brothers, they were in West Palm Beach. | ||
| Home team, kind of. | ||
| But after the first time I got off stage, I called my mom and I was like, this is what I was born to. | ||
| I love it so much. | ||
| I'm at home. | ||
| I'll just be staring off in the distance. | ||
| And my wife will walk by and go, comedy? | ||
| Like she knows. | ||
| Because she's talking to me, I'm not hearing it. | ||
| And that's how much I love it so much because it's the only true art where it's just you and the crowd. | ||
| And what I love about it is the stage is not prejudiced. | ||
| It may be political getting on that stage, but once you're up there, it doesn't matter. | ||
| If you're funny, you're funny. | ||
| And that's why I love it because we're in an industry where what I do, you get a lot of no's, man. | ||
| No, no, no, you can't do it. | ||
| But to have an outlet that same night to go up and get 300 yeses, it just keeps you in the game. | ||
| You don't need someone to approve whether or not you get to work. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you don't have to get picked out of a lineup of people that are trying to play the part of Bob. | ||
| Like, are you reading for Bob? | ||
| Come on in here. | ||
| I'm Michael, so I see you're a comedian, and you were on the first season of Fear Factor. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| That's my credits. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| You were in Justin and Kelly and Fear Factor. | ||
| Yeah, that's my two credits right there. | ||
| Come on in then. | ||
| Okay, you're reading for the part of Bob. | ||
| Remember, Bob is gay. | ||
| Did you know? | ||
| Yes, of course I did. | ||
| We're not playing it like that. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Think Mayor Pete. | ||
| Mayor Pete. | ||
| Okay, don't think like the next door neighbor on Three's Company. | ||
| Well, you gotta give me some direction. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| Who was a famous gay character in a sitcom? | ||
| Oh, Will and Grace, right? | ||
| Oh, Jack. | ||
| Just Jack. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I did it right. | ||
| If that's your example. | ||
| If you're gonna do it like that. | ||
| Well, if I'm going off, you're the casting director, I'm going off your cue. | ||
| So if you say- They tell you how to do it, don't they want to see you, like, what your take on it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But no, they give a description. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So by your description, Will and Grace, I did it right. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So nobody can get mad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Bob has PTSD. Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's ready to rock and he's drunk. | ||
| Ready, go. | ||
| Fucking acting. | ||
| But, I mean, you're way past this level. | ||
| But you've got to admit, I mean, comedy, when you're up and coming, is like that, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| You're trying to get stage time on these places. | ||
| So you're really on auditions all the time, too. | ||
| Yeah, in a way. | ||
| And you're also trying to find your voice on stage, like how you do it. | ||
| You're not totally sure, is this the right way? | ||
| Is that the right way? | ||
| How should I be going on? | ||
| But that's also why it's so exciting. | ||
| No, that's what I love it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| And there's also one of the things that's so exciting about stand-up is there's really no one way to do it. | ||
| You know, like if you play golf, kind of one way to do it, right? | ||
| You learn how to do it correctly. | ||
| I mean, there's variations. | ||
| Same thing with pool. | ||
| Same thing even, well, not jujitsu. | ||
| Jujitsu is pretty eclectic. | ||
| There's a lot of different influences, a lot of different styles. | ||
| But with comedy, man, you could be Stephen Wright or you could be Chris Rock. | ||
| There's just a lot of difference. | ||
| And that's what's so great about it. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| Like at the Comedy Store when all these different... | ||
| What I love about the Comedy Store and what I don't like about LA people is they debate about spending $30 on a lineup where the rest of the country is spending $50 to $100 for that one comic. | ||
| That's how the people in LA are so just not thankful. | ||
| Yeah, but isn't that normal? | ||
| There's so much to do here. | ||
| Yeah, but there's so much to do here. | ||
| No, they take it for granted, man. | ||
| They take it for granted. | ||
| I mean, when you have these kids... | ||
| Look, I just did Salt Lake City and Wise Guys. | ||
| I love Salt Lake City. | ||
| That's a great club. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Dude, big shout out to Keith. | ||
| They have two there, right? | ||
| Yeah, they have two. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I did one. | ||
| It was my first time there. | ||
| I did a while ago, but it was my first time really there. | ||
| And man, those people appreciate every joke. | ||
| They appreciate the experience where a lot of times, I'll see, to me, a comic crushing up there. | ||
| And people on their phones, people just... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You can't worry about that. | ||
| I know, but I'm not on stage. | ||
| I just, they're disrespecting. | ||
| I get mad when people disrespect the craft. | ||
| Like, I'm so in it like that. | ||
| It's like, you should be paying attention. | ||
| I get angry at people. | ||
| Yeah, you can't concentrate on them, though. | ||
| You just gotta do it yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like your dumb friend who yells at the crowd. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| Same shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't worry about that. | ||
| But I'm in the back watching. | ||
| So I'm like, dude, you need to be watching. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you're definitely going to get a lot of self-absorbed people in this crowd. | ||
| You get a lot of... | ||
| I find that more at the improv. | ||
| Not necessarily these days, because most of the times I'm at the improv, it's my show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I feel like that's a more Hollywood crowd in some weird way. | ||
| You know, one of the things that's the Comedy Store, it's really shocking how many people come from not just out of state, but out of the country to come to those lineups. | ||
| Like, I run into people all the time. | ||
| They're like, yeah, we're doing comedy tourism. | ||
| We flew in from Scotland. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| You guys flew in from Scotland? | ||
| Yeah, you motherfuckers won't come out there. | ||
| So we came to you. | ||
| I was like, wow, that's crazy. | ||
| But I feel like... | ||
| Right now, comedians that are really killing it, they're rock stars, dude. | ||
| Like, rock stars. | ||
| I just saw Joe Coy sell out two shows at the Forum, and I was there, and when he walked out, it could have been Bruno Mars, it could have been, like, same applause, same everything. | ||
| And that's what I love, is that This industry right now is on fire, but the people leading it to... | ||
| I've only been in it nine years, but they're giving. | ||
| That's new. | ||
| Nine years ago when I started, it was all about people backstabbing and talking shit about people. | ||
| Now I think podcasting has changed again. | ||
| Now people are having, I don't want to call them cliques, but you got your people. | ||
| And those people that are in that clique, they help other people. | ||
| And I think it's that thing where... | ||
| With you, with Tom, with Bert, with even D'Elia, Theo Vaughn. | ||
| It's almost Brendan Schaub and Brian Callen. | ||
| I think it's a thing where people are like, oh, everybody can be successful. | ||
| It's not just one person that has to be successful. | ||
| A lot of people can be successful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's 350 million people in this fucking country. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| You want all of them, bitch? | ||
| They're all for you? | ||
| You greedy asshole. | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| Well, it's also, too, there's a brotherhood and a sisterhood amongst us and our friends that you are dealing with a very small number of people that are professionals at this on earth. | ||
| Like, when you go to the comedy store, if I run into Anthony Jeselnik and I give him a hug, It's not just he's my friend. | ||
| It's also he's one of maybe a thousand people like him on earth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| It might not even be a thousand. | ||
| It might be 500. Like legit, world-class headliners that can sell out of theater. | ||
| How many of those? | ||
| No, I would say less than a thousand. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, but it's not even just sell out of theater. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of people that can't, like my friend Owen Smith, who I think is one of the best stand-up comics on earth. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| I tell everybody, I'm like, that guy, he just spent too much time writing. | ||
| On sitcoms and on movies and people just didn't know. | ||
| But when you go see him, he's working with me tomorrow night at the improv for the second show. | ||
| He's a murderer, man. | ||
| He's as good as any comic alive. | ||
| He's as good as any comic alive. | ||
| He's one of the best on earth. | ||
| What do you think it is, because you've reached the peak and continue to grow, but what do you think that when you're a comic and all of a sudden you just pop up? | ||
| People find out. | ||
| I think today it's the internet. | ||
| Today it's the internet. | ||
| Like a YouTube video can make you. | ||
| One YouTube video, like Angela Johnson, that nail bit, that bit made her. | ||
| Her whole career. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, Russell Peters. | ||
| He got famous off of YouTube clips, people seeing his YouTube clips. | ||
| And a lot like Joe Coy, also it's like, hey, our people are represented. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because for a long time, who the fuck was Indian that was a famous comic? | ||
| Nobody. | ||
| Russell comes along, hilarious, Indian, and making fun of all races and people are like, holy shit! | ||
| It starts with that and then what I love about Joe, it started with Filipinos and now everybody's enjoying it. | ||
| And I think, like, when I watched Joe's Journey, it was like, he was already in full stride of, like, killing it in stand-up. | ||
| Then he got on Chelsea. | ||
| Didn't work with Adam Carolla. | ||
| So everything kind of exposure, like you said. | ||
| Today, it's kind of like American Idol. | ||
| There's a lot of Kelly Clarkson's, but Kelly Clarkson won the first season of American Idol. | ||
| Carrie Underwood won whatever season. | ||
| So these are great singers. | ||
| You just need exposure. | ||
| Exposure is everything. | ||
| Podcasts. | ||
| The beautiful thing about podcasts is, first of all, comics, unlike in the past, say if you were the host of The Tonight Show, and you were Jay Leno, and then David Letterman was the host of his show, you guys were in competition. | ||
| That shit's on the same time. | ||
| Fuck him, fuck you. | ||
| Everyone's backstabbing. | ||
| These have deals. | ||
| If you would go on one of those shows, you couldn't go on the other show. | ||
| I still like that, I think. | ||
| Or maybe it's not as hardcore, but yeah. | ||
| That's so dumb. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| But they had to do that back then because there was only one host of The Tonight Show and there was only one host of this show and one host of that show. | ||
| I mean, all told, out of all the people on television that did late night talk shows, there might have been six. | ||
| Six people. | ||
| And how many comics were there? | ||
| Thousands! | ||
| Hoping Jay Leno had a heart attack so they could take that spot. | ||
| Hoping Conan O'Brien would drop dead. | ||
| Hoping. | ||
| Hoping. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Now it's not like that anymore. | ||
| Now everyone can have a podcast and everybody does... | ||
| Each other's podcasts. | ||
| And everybody tells everybody, hey, go see Michael Yeo. | ||
| Hey, Joe Coy's hilarious. | ||
| Hey, I saw Chris Delia on that murder. | ||
| I saw Anthony Jeselnik crush it in the main room. | ||
| And people love it. | ||
| They're happy that other people are successful. | ||
| It's a good feeling. | ||
| So you see that, too. | ||
| That's only happened in the last three or four years. | ||
| I think it's about five. | ||
| Five years? | ||
| I think it's about five years, yeah. | ||
| I think it's all a part of this. | ||
| It might be even a little more than five years. | ||
| But the point is, it's all part of this transition to the internet. | ||
| Because the transition to the internet is a transition of opulence. | ||
| We're all blessed. | ||
| There's abundance. | ||
| There's no scarcity. | ||
| There used to be scarcity. | ||
| Before, it was like, oh, there's only a few spots. | ||
| If you want to get a sitcom, you and I show up in the audition room, and I'm looking at you, and you're looking at me, and I'm like, you playing for Bob? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You going to play a gay? | ||
| Are you going to play it? | ||
| PTSD? How are you going to play this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, good luck with that choice. | ||
| You know, backstab each other and get weird. | ||
| There was a lot of backstabby weird shit in those days. | ||
| And that stuff's gone. | ||
| You know, everybody's happy to see each other. | ||
| And also, they support each other on the road. | ||
| They take each other places. | ||
| Like, they do shows together. | ||
| And one of the things that I realized early on, You know, you make less money if you take people on the road with you, and you pay for their flight, and you pay for their hotel, and you pay for their meals. | ||
| But you have so much fun. | ||
| But you have way more fun! | ||
| It's way more fun, man. | ||
| It's way more fun. | ||
| It goes from being depressing. | ||
| Like, I've done the road by myself, and you're sitting in a hotel room, staring at the fucking TV, bored, you go to the gym. | ||
| Counting down the time to the show. | ||
| And then you're working with some dick shit. | ||
| Some ass fuck from fucking Pittsburgh that sucks. | ||
| And he's like, God, this local guy's terrible. | ||
| And you call your friends, bro, where are you? | ||
| You know, I'm in Baltimore. | ||
| Is it any good? | ||
| No. | ||
| I wish we were doing a show together. | ||
| And then... | ||
| And I realized somewhere along the line that for my own mental sanity, I'd rather take a pay cut and just take guys on the road with me. | ||
| So I started doing that. | ||
| I was doing that early on. | ||
| I was doing that in the early 2000s. | ||
| I was taking people on the road with me. | ||
| It was a problem sometimes. | ||
| Club owners were like, we would like to book the opening acts. | ||
| I'm like, uh-uh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, we want to use our local guys. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know them. | ||
| And then a lot of those guys step on your material, too. | ||
| Like, say if you have a bit about your dad, they'll do a bit that's real similar about their dad. | ||
| You're like, hmm. | ||
| Well, it's a thing where ever since I started, like once I started headlining, I've always brought my own people. | ||
| And yeah, it is a bit... | ||
| And I don't make close to the money you make, but it's a thing where I know the investment. | ||
| It makes me a lot better on stage because I know the whole show from start to end is going to be good. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I've had horrible experiences. | ||
| I remember one time one of my friends couldn't come. | ||
| And man, a host is just... | ||
| I mean, literally 20 minutes of silence. | ||
| And then it's like, all right, here's your headline. | ||
| The audience is angry by the time you go up. | ||
| They've wasted their money. | ||
| I think also, just being around the comics at the Laugh Factory Improv and Comedy Store, it's a thing where now people, before it's like, oh, if somebody crushes, I don't want them to crush them. | ||
| Now people love to go, they want to be a part of a great show, not be the only funny one at the show. | ||
| That's so insecure, that not wanting anybody to be good. | ||
| Here's the thing, just, didn't you get into comedy because you like it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So bring people that are funny. | ||
| Dude, I brought Joey Diaz with me from the start. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And I had some rough shows early on where I was like, dude, I gotta get better. | ||
| Because Joey would be up there murdering, and then I'd go up after him, not doing so good. | ||
| But it made me realize I had to step it up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's also like, I wanted to laugh. | ||
| I want to have fun. | ||
| Not only did I bring Joey in the row with me, but this was during Joey's drug days. | ||
| I brought a second opening act in case Joey didn't show up. | ||
| Because Joey did, instead of not booking Joey, I started booking Ari. | ||
| So I booked Ari and Joey. | ||
| So if Joey showed up, great, we got a three-man show. | ||
| If Joey didn't show up, we got a two-man show. | ||
| But I always had an opening act that way. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Did he ever not show up? | ||
| A couple times. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Not that many, but it was always touch and go. | ||
| You never knew. | ||
| And sometimes you just leave on Sunday. | ||
| I told you I'm leaving on Sunday. | ||
| I'm like, you didn't tell me you're leaving on Sunday. | ||
| I don't do Sunday stuff, sucker. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| I mean, but can you say the nicest human being on earth? | ||
| I love him to death. | ||
| He's my brother. | ||
| Every time I see him, man, it's like, he's just so nice. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love him so much. | ||
| And I love him, and I've seen him on his full journey. | ||
| You know, I've seen him from being this guy who's, like, fresh out of jail, was a fucking criminal when I first met him. | ||
| I could tell. | ||
| But I knew so many guys like that from the pool hall and from fight gyms. | ||
| And I was like, oh, look at this real guy hanging around the comedy store. | ||
| I'm like, what's up, man? | ||
| And Joey and I... We hit it off like that, like immediately. | ||
| Like immediately. | ||
| And then to see him transform to being one of the best comics on Earth, it's so satisfying. | ||
| To see him go and sell out the Chicago Theater. | ||
| Chicago Theater's 3,700 people. | ||
| He sold it out like instantly. | ||
| He's a murderer. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| No one on Earth makes me laugh harder. | ||
| There's a lot of great comics out there, but Joey's special. | ||
| To me, he's special. | ||
| And the thing is, nobody can duplicate what he does. | ||
| You can't touch it. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| No, it's amazing. | ||
| But, you know, it's also, he's a product of the comedy store. | ||
| Like a real product of the comedy store. | ||
| The freedom to take chances and to be loose and wild, that's where all that stuff's from. | ||
| When you first met him, was he like that, like, on stage? | ||
| No, he had to learn how to be that way on stage. | ||
| Off stage, he was hilarious, though. | ||
| He would hold court in the back, like, in the back parking lot. | ||
| We'd all be hanging out back there, and Joey Diaz would just be telling us stories. | ||
| We'd be falling down laughing. | ||
| And he would be good on stage. | ||
| He would do well, but he would tighten up. | ||
| He would worry about being cast in a movie. | ||
| You know, that was always the thing. | ||
| Like, he wanted to be in a movie or a show or... | ||
| And that kind of pressure of worrying about people, what people care, that's constricting. | ||
| And then somewhere along the line, he just stopped giving a fuck. | ||
| He just stopped giving a fuck. | ||
| And when he stopped giving a fuck, he would just go up there and destroy. | ||
| And it was a quick transition. | ||
| It was like he went from being kind of good, doing okay, but really funny offstage, to figuring it out. | ||
| And if you ask him, he just stopped giving a fuck. | ||
| He just realized, he goes, I realize all these motherfuckers aren't going to help me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, they're not gonna help me. | ||
| Fuck them. | ||
| They're all idiots. | ||
| And they'd come and go. | ||
| The agents would get fired. | ||
| And he realized, like, what was I fucking thinking? | ||
| And he figured it out. | ||
| How long did it take you to get to that point? | ||
| Because I know you were in the acting world, but when did you get to that point? | ||
| Well, I started doing stand-up first. | ||
| I did stand-up in 88, and I never planned on acting. | ||
| I got into acting just because of stand-up. | ||
| I did a MTV half-hour comedy hour, and from there, I wound up getting a development deal, and I wound up being on a sitcom. | ||
| And I didn't really like it. | ||
| And I was ready to quit, but I had already gotten a lease. | ||
| So I was out here, and I already had an apartment. | ||
| I was ready to go back to New York, like 100%. | ||
| What didn't you like about it? | ||
| I didn't like the actors. | ||
| Oh, okay, the actors on it. | ||
| No, the actors on the show, some of them I was friends with. | ||
| I enjoyed their company, but there was a bunch of ones that I met that I did not like. | ||
| I didn't enjoy the circles. | ||
| I'd go out with actors, rather. | ||
| I'd go out to dinner with them, and they'd bring their friends. | ||
| I'd be like, who's this fucking liar? | ||
| You're bringing this crazy, egomaniac, narcissist liar to sit here and have dinner with these people. | ||
| So many of them are so crazy. | ||
| And again, this is low-level people trying to get into acting. | ||
| Like open micers, right? | ||
| If you go to open mics, you'll see the occasional jam, like, wow, that guy's probably going to make it. | ||
| And then you'll see, oh, this person's fucking crazy. | ||
| They're just hanging around this industry. | ||
| And you got that with acting, too. | ||
| And I just, I didn't like it. | ||
| I also didn't like the whole thing of needing people. | ||
| The auditioning thing that you would get in LA would develop a type of person that was just very guarded and fake. | ||
| They were trying to project what they wanted you to see rather than be who they were. | ||
| I enjoyed New York. | ||
| I enjoyed Boston. | ||
| I enjoyed the East Coast. | ||
| Those were my people. | ||
| So I didn't like it. | ||
| But I had a lease, so I stayed. | ||
| And so then I got on this news radio show, and I was on that for five years. | ||
| And then after that was over, I was like, okay, I'm done with this acting shit. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So would you say, is that the time where you were like, oh... | ||
| I tried a little bit after that. | ||
| I did a little bit of it. | ||
| I did some auditions, and I got a couple of development deals to do my own show, but they were terrible. | ||
| And then Fear Factor came along, and I was like, oh, this makes sense. | ||
| I'll do this. | ||
| Did you like it the whole time or no? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Oh, pfft. | ||
| No, but it was money. | ||
| It was money. | ||
| It was crazy money. | ||
| And it was also... | ||
| And it was the biggest show in the U.S. at that time, too. | ||
| At one point in time, it was. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we did 148 episodes. | ||
| It was so many episodes. | ||
| And then we came back and did six more. | ||
| It was a good way to make money and not need Hollywood anymore. | ||
| And that's when I really realized I don't want to act anymore. | ||
| The only thing I acted at all after that was my friend Kevin James' movies. | ||
| Just because he asked me to and we're buddies. | ||
| I did Zookeeper and Here Comes the Boom. | ||
| But I only did them for fun because I was his friend. | ||
| And then podcasting. | ||
| When podcasting came along, then I was like, in the beginning it was just fun. | ||
| Like, I didn't realize what was even going on until many years in. | ||
| I was at the Chicago Theater, the same place I was talking about where Joey sold out. | ||
| And I was going to bring something up, and I go, so this happened. | ||
| How many of you guys listen to the podcast? | ||
| And it went, yeah! | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Like, I did not expect that. | ||
| I don't pay attention to the numbers, so I didn't know how many people were downloading it. | ||
| How many years in was this other podcast? | ||
| Three or four? | ||
| Four. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four, okay. | |
| Yeah, maybe four. | ||
| So six years ago. | ||
| And I was like, holy shit. | ||
| Because for those years in the beginning, it was nonsense. | ||
| First of all, we'd get barbecued out of our fucking minds, where half the time I didn't know what I was saying while I was saying it. | ||
| It was a real problem. | ||
| You know, we didn't take it seriously. | ||
| Didn't think people were listening. | ||
| It was a fun, silly way to get really fucked up and talk with friends. | ||
| And no one was thinking it was like comedy in the early days. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No one was thinking this is a career. | ||
| It's almost like in a green room. | ||
| You're just talking. | ||
| It was just fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I enjoy people. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I enjoy talking to people. | ||
| I like hearing how people think. | ||
| I like hearing people's perspectives. | ||
| And so in the beginning, it was like a lot of that. | ||
| Just hanging out. | ||
| And making each other laugh. | ||
| And talking shit. | ||
| And saying silly things. | ||
| And then that one day, I'll never forget. | ||
| How many people listen to the podcast? | ||
| And that roar. | ||
| And I got nervous. | ||
| I was like, oh no. | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| Like, what's happening here? | ||
| Like, then I started to think, like... | ||
| Oh, this is like a major part of my life. | ||
| A major part of my career. | ||
| And I wasn't even realizing it was. | ||
| So this is like four years in. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I started getting guests. | ||
| That's when I started getting guests on. | ||
| Like somewhere around four years in, I started getting guests. | ||
| And then like all these different people would come on. | ||
| But then I'd ask people to be on it. | ||
| And then people had heard about it. | ||
| And some people were still like, what is a podcast? | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like a radio show on the internet. | ||
| Like, who's listening? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, oh, well. | |
| Not that many people. | ||
| And then it just became what it is now. | ||
| But it became what it is now almost like it had a mind of its own, man. | ||
| And I really think that sometimes. | ||
| I really think that. | ||
| And I know that sounds really stupid. | ||
| Because for sure I keep showing up. | ||
| For sure I pay attention. | ||
| For sure I try hard. | ||
| And for sure I work at it. | ||
| But I think this thing is like it wanted to be made. | ||
| It sounds crazy. | ||
| No, I get you. | ||
| I get you. | ||
| It needed it. | ||
| I don't even know if it needed it. | ||
| It's like there was a place. | ||
| There was a spot that was open. | ||
| And that spot was open for like... | ||
| Honest conversation, open-minded conversation, and inquisitive conversation, and letting people explain things over long periods of time. | ||
| And then some of those people, just like Brian Greene, who was a physicist who I had on the other day. | ||
| I have to listen to his podcast two or three times just to try to really grasp what he was saying. | ||
| That happens all the time. | ||
| I talk to brilliant people. | ||
| You know, Aubrey de Grey was on yesterday, who's an expert in anti-aging technologies. | ||
| So we're talking about all this stuff and I'm just thinking like here I am talking this guy who spends his entire life trying to extend people's lifespan to 500 plus years and he's in the middle of this right now and he's running this institute in Northern California that's designed or does designing all these different specific methods of extending life and they're experimenting and doing all these different things and raising money and I'm like, this is such a weird path I've gotten on. | ||
| But does he really think he can do it? | ||
| Oh yeah, he can do it. | ||
| 500 years? | ||
| Yeah, they're on the road to that. | ||
| Yeah, with stem cells and a bunch of the different biologics that they're experimenting with and all sorts of different, and as the technology increases and grows, and then CRISPR, which is a gene editing tool, and a lot of the other things that they're probably going to invent over the next three to five years, he believes, is going to be some giant breakthroughs. | ||
| It's legitimate. | ||
| So is it more of the... | ||
| The benefit is the generations, like two generations after us are going to benefit heavily. | ||
| No, I think we're going to benefit from it. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah, it's regenerative, meaning you're literally going to not just stop aging, it's going to regenerate to the point where it's going to, your biological age, even though your physical age, your calendar age is the same, you're going to keep getting older that way, but your biological age is going to go backwards. | ||
| Yeah, because what they're doing is they're treating aging like a disease. | ||
| They're not treating it like an inevitable aspect of life. | ||
| They're like, well, what's causing aging? | ||
| Well, breakdown of the body due to normal stresses and just overall use. | ||
| Okay, well, what is the difference between someone who's 5 or 6 versus someone who's 50 or 60? | ||
| Well, the body's ability to regenerate tissue, the body's ability to recover, you know, all these different things that are going on inside the cells. | ||
| And what causes that? | ||
| Like, what is the mitochondria? | ||
| How do we get that to function? | ||
| That's kind of like the NAD stuff. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That's one aspect of it. | ||
| NAD is one piece in a giant mandala of different methodologies. | ||
| And they're going to be able to come up with... | ||
| Just think about what they can do now versus what they could do 50 years ago. | ||
| 50 years ago, if you blew your knee out, you were fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You were fucked. | ||
| My friend Steve Graham, a good buddy of mine, he used to be on the U.S. ski team, and his knees are destroyed. | ||
| He was on the ski team in the 80s, and they cut him open like a fish, like giant scars up and down the sides of his legs. | ||
| They had to stitch things together and bolt things down. | ||
| And it's just a mess in there. | ||
| Just a fat mess. | ||
| And nowadays, I mean, both of my knees have been reconstructed. | ||
| I have two reconstructed ACLs. | ||
| They work great. | ||
| You know, there's no issues. | ||
| I mean, I can do literally everything. | ||
| I do yoga, kickbox, all these different things with reconstruction knees. | ||
| And I mean, have you seen the way I kick a heavy bag? | ||
| There's an enormous amount of force that's on those knees. | ||
| No problem at all. | ||
| And when you think about what they're going to be able to do 50 years from now, they're going to make you an 18 year old. | ||
| You're going to be able to regenerate tissue. | ||
| All the things that are happening to people's discs. | ||
| Where they get degenerative disc disease, which I have, which your disc gets smaller and actually your spinal column is actually compacted more and you have to try to mitigate that with spinal decompression and a bunch of different things. | ||
| They're going to be able to inject stem cells into that. | ||
| It's going to regrow disc tissue. | ||
| Well, they're already doing that right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| We're on the verge. | ||
| But my point is, how the fuck did I wind up talking to these people? | ||
| I didn't really pay much attention in school. | ||
| How am I talking to these people? | ||
| How did all this happen? | ||
| How are presidential candidates coming to me trying to get on the podcast so I can help them spread their message? | ||
| Like, what the fuck happened? | ||
| I really feel like... | ||
| It sounds like wacky woo-woo, but there was an opening in the universe. | ||
| It was like an opening. | ||
| And somehow or another, I was the one who stepped through that opening. | ||
| And I didn't even know I was doing it while I was doing it. | ||
| And this thing, the seeds were planted, and this thing just grew. | ||
| And then I became responsible for taking care of it. | ||
| Well, I think because it started out organic, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| You didn't start saying, I'm going to do this. | ||
| No. | ||
| There's no ambition behind it. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| That's also a big problem with other people that are trying to start podcasts. | ||
| I had a conversation with John Lovitz about it. | ||
| He's like, no one wants to pay me any money to do it. | ||
| I go, they're not going to pay you any money if they don't make any money. | ||
| And he goes, well, they should just pay money. | ||
| That way they can do it and it'll be good. | ||
| And I was like, okay. | ||
| I got stuck with him on a plane once. | ||
| He was telling me, you have a podcast network? | ||
| I go, no, I don't. | ||
| Yes, you do. | ||
| Put me on your network. | ||
| John, I don't have a network. | ||
| I do not have a network. | ||
| I had to explain to him. | ||
| But his thing was that somebody wanted him to do a podcast, but they didn't want to pay him what he felt he should get paid for a podcast. | ||
| I'm like, they're not going to make any money until it's successful. | ||
| The only way it's going to be successful is if you do it. | ||
| Yeah, and 99% of them aren't successful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but there's so many of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's 900,000 podcasts. | ||
| There's 300 and what, 30, 40, 50 million people? | ||
| So what does that mean? | ||
| That means like one out of every 300 people has a fucking podcast? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| I would say yeah. | ||
| Sounds right. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Wait, there's 900,000 podcasts? | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
| I mean, they're international ones too, but yeah, yeah, for sure. | ||
| That sounds pretty close to right. | ||
| That doesn't sound crazy. | ||
| Let's cut it in half because of international. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So let's say one out of every six... | ||
| Six... | ||
| Yeah, let's say 500. One out of 500 people has it? | ||
| That sounds not crazy right now. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| That is probably accurate. | ||
| My wife's friends have podcasts. | ||
| I got stopped by a black lady at an airport, 80 years old. | ||
| She goes... | ||
| I saw you on the Joe Rogan podcast. | ||
| It's just amazing the range. | ||
| I'm like, how do you... | ||
| Because you know me, I'm expecting a certain person. | ||
| I had this really old guy come up to me in a restaurant and he looked like he was deep in his 80s. | ||
| I just really want you to know I enjoy your program. | ||
| It's a very thoughtful program. | ||
| You have an interesting way of looking at things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, you watch it. | |
| Wow. | ||
| I want to ask you about This may be all type, but the Dante Wilder excuse he came out with today. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| Do you think... | ||
| Is there any validity to that? | ||
| If... | ||
| Look, I put a, do you know what a, what is it called, an atlas pack? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I put an atlas pack on my back all the time and I put a 45 pound plate on. | ||
| So it's about 55 pounds and I go hiking through the hills. | ||
| And after I can still do whatever the fuck I want. | ||
| And I'm just Joe Rogan. | ||
| I'm not Deontay fucking Wilder. | ||
| The idea that Deontay Wilder with a 40 pound outfit on, that it killed his legs, walk into the ring, that's crazy talk. | ||
| I don't understand why he would say that. | ||
| I mean, maybe it's true. | ||
| If it's true. | ||
| He said he had it on like 20 minutes before or 15 minutes before he went out. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| Look, it's possible that that tired him out. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| See, I'm no fight expert or anything, so I just don't know if there's validity in it. | ||
| Well, who the fuck would let him put that on? | ||
| If that was that heavy, that it was 40 pounds, that it got to the point where it actually wore his body out as he was walking to the ring. | ||
| Well, he tried it on the night before, they said, and he liked it. | ||
| So he's like, I'm aware. | ||
| Well, he makes the decisions. | ||
| It was his. | ||
| Yeah, that's a crazy decision. | ||
| No, that's not what happened, though. | ||
| I mean, it might have wore him out. | ||
| I mean, he just got beat up. | ||
| It might have wore him out. | ||
| But the real big thing happened in the third round. | ||
| When Tyson Fury, he put that jab in his face and hit him with that beautiful overhand right on the ear and dropped him. | ||
| Equilibrium went off after that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think... | |
| Does that cause equal... | ||
| Oh yeah, 100%. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because he was bleeding out of his ear. | ||
| Out of his ear, yeah. | ||
| So that's a significant injury. | ||
| It could be a ruptured eardrum. | ||
| When you get hit on the ear like that, a lot of times your eardrum ruptures. | ||
| Happens all the time. | ||
| And when that happens, you don't know how to stand upright. | ||
| Your body's all wacky. | ||
| It's not moving correctly. | ||
| And that's what it looked like with him. | ||
| And that's what I was saying when I was watching it. | ||
| I was like, his equilibrium's off. | ||
| I go, that's what's going on. | ||
| And then eventually the commentator said it as well. | ||
| But his legs weren't under him. | ||
| But also, he was getting bombed on. | ||
| He was getting bombed on. | ||
| And Tyson Fury was hanging on him. | ||
| He would wrap his arm around his head and lean on him with that 270 pounds. | ||
| So he's carrying all that shit, too. | ||
| And Tyson Fury did something that had never been done before. | ||
| He bullied Deontay Wilder. | ||
| He came in heavy. | ||
| And a lot of people thought he came in too heavy. | ||
| But I think one of the reasons why he came in heavy is this is part of the strategy. | ||
| He went to... | ||
| What's up? | ||
| You got something? | ||
| Did not have a broken eardrum, apparently. | ||
| A minor laceration to his ear. | ||
| Wilder did not have a broken jaw, someone speculated, nor did he have a broken eardrum. | ||
| He had a two-centimeter cut on his ear that took seven stitches to close. | ||
| Defeat de Fury was the first of Wilder's professional career. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| So even though he didn't have a ruptured eardrum, he still took a significant shot to the ear, which oftentimes fucks up your equilibrium. | ||
| And any shot to the temple, to the ear, a lot of times it fucks up your balance. | ||
| But he got bombed on. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| And Tyson Fury figured something out in the first fight that in the 12th round, Deontay did not like it when he came after him. | ||
| He said he doesn't fight well backing up. | ||
| He said he's awkward on his feet. | ||
| And so instead of letting Deontay come to him and he was boxing like he did for most of the first fight, he fought the second fight the way he fought him in the 12th round. | ||
| He came after him. | ||
| Which is just get glued to his face, run right after him, hit him with a right hand, And he bullied the bully, you know? | ||
| And, you know, I don't mean Deontay's a bully like in a bad way. | ||
| I mean, his style is, he's very aggressive. | ||
| He's one of the most ruthless punching knockout artists in the history of the sport, if not the number one. | ||
| I mean, the guy has 42 knockouts, which is insane. | ||
| How many did Tyson have? | ||
| Maybe he has 41. I think he's got 41 knockouts, 42 wins, one by decision, and one draw, and now he has one loss. | ||
| Tyson had less. | ||
| Tyson went to the decision with a lot of people. | ||
| You know, he went to the decision with Mitch Blood Green. | ||
| He went to the decision with, I mean, you can go down the list. | ||
| There was a lot of people. | ||
| Tyson's obviously one of the greats and obviously a brutal knockout artist, but Deontay Wilder has that touch of death. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I mean, he dropped Tyson Fury twice in their first fight, and the 12th round, it looked like he was fucked. | ||
| Do you think they should have stopped it at the 7th or earlier? | ||
| I think it's better for his life and his career that they stopped it. | ||
| He wasn't going to come back. | ||
| I don't think he was going to come back. | ||
| He was getting fucked up. | ||
| And Tyson Fury was not going to stop punching him in the head either. | ||
| He was going to keep doing it. | ||
| Tyson was pure and clean and literally unharmed. | ||
| And looked fantastic. | ||
| I mean, he'd been hit a couple of times, but no problems. | ||
| There was nothing that rocked him, nothing that hurt him. | ||
| A few punches bounced off of him, but he was putting it on Deontay Wilder. | ||
| I mean, he was putting it on him. | ||
| If that is true, that he had it on for 20 minutes and that it really wore him out, that's exceptionally silly on the part of his management to allow that to happen. | ||
| That someone didn't see that. | ||
| That his trainer didn't see that. | ||
| They didn't recognize that that was going to be a big problem. | ||
| Maybe they didn't calculate it. | ||
| Well, I think he just threw it on the night before and goes, oh, it feels good. | ||
| Didn't really think, I'm going to be in this thing for close to 35 minutes before I get on. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| You know, he has to be back there 20 minutes, then the walk-up is like three or four minutes, and then you're walking into the ring. | ||
| And you've got to carry it around while you're walking in the ring. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's a good point. | ||
| It had an effect. | ||
| I guarantee it would have an effect. | ||
| But the question is, would it have enough of an effect that it would fuck his legs up to the point where he couldn't recover? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe it's valid. | ||
| The only comparison I have, and like I said, I know nothing about boxing, but if I hold, my son is 35 pounds. | ||
| If I hold him for like 10 minutes, I'm tired. | ||
| Right, but your arms are tired. | ||
| But I'm not a professional boxer. | ||
| Your arms are tired. | ||
| Would your legs be tired? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| My kid, my 11-year-old is 80 pounds, and I walk around Disneyland with her on my shoulders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I can, you know, I can see, but then again, I'm not fighting afterwards. | ||
| I'm just walking around. | ||
| I can see it having an effect. | ||
| How much of an effect is the question? | ||
| It's just silly that they let him do it. | ||
| I mean, if I picked that thing up and I was his trainer, I'd be, hey, hey, hey, feel this. | ||
| Now think about how long you're going to have this on. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| Let's just go out there, Norm. | ||
| I mean, I guarantee you, next time you see him, he's going to be dressed like Tyson. | ||
| Yeah, just come out in the trunks. | ||
| Yeah, just trunks, a fucking small towel around his neck like Tyson used to do. | ||
| That was so intimidating, the way that dude just came in. | ||
| No socks. | ||
| He just came in like, what? | ||
| Let's do this. | ||
| And just stormed towards that rain. | ||
| You would see death coming down that aisle. | ||
| You're like, oh my God, what have I signed up for? | ||
| It was so true. | ||
| What have I signed up for? | ||
| And when I read Tyson's book and I interviewed, he was like, man, I was like, he was scared. | ||
| Every time I walked in a ring, he was petrified. | ||
| Didn't look like it, man. | ||
| Well, once he got in there, he put himself into the position that he's been in many, many, many times. | ||
| He was the destroyer. | ||
| But all the lead up to, I mean, it's like anticipation fucks with everybody's head. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think Deontay would be better than ever for the next fight. | ||
| The question is, if Tyson Fury fights him that same way and stays on him, can he beat that Tyson Fury? | ||
| Because Tyson Fury is just boxing his face off. | ||
| When this does happen, who would you pick out the gate on this one? | ||
| You have to pick Tyson Fury. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I think he won the first fight. | ||
| Deontay knocked him down twice, but not only did he knock him down in the 12th round, but Tyson Fury came back and won the remainder of that round. | ||
| So you could almost give that round a draw, and then the other round when he knocked him down, you've got to give to Deontay Wilder. | ||
| The remaining 10 rounds are not in dispute. | ||
| The remaining 10 rounds went to Tyson Fury. | ||
| So if you just look at it on paper, he should have won that fight. | ||
| Although most people weren't upset with the decision, Because Deontay almost had him out. | ||
| And it's like, it's exciting. | ||
| Let's do a rematch. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| But then in the rematch, Tyson Fury just took the judges out of the fucking equation and just bombed on them. | ||
| It's really unfortunate that there is a question of whether or not that big stupid suit was wearing his legs out. | ||
| Because if that really is the case, that bums me out, man. | ||
| That bums me out. | ||
| That's what he said, but like... | ||
| I didn't think of it. | ||
| I was thinking it was a joke until you told me that it was like he wore it for 20 minutes. | ||
| Then I was like, huh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that would be different. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| That's real weight. | ||
| If you just put it on, you walked out there for 30 seconds, you had this 40-pound thing on. | ||
| Yeah, no big deal. | ||
| I wouldn't advise it. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good. | ||
| But he had it on for at least 30 minutes, if I'm guessing. | ||
| He said he had it on 20 minutes before the fight. | ||
| He had to do the walk-up. | ||
| He had to get in a ring in it. | ||
| And he said when he took it off, he knew that was the game-changer. | ||
| You've got to think, Deontay Wilder coming into that fight has flatlined every single opponent he's faced except for Tyson Fury. | ||
| Stiverne, he didn't flatline him in the first fight. | ||
| He just beat him by decision, beat the shit out of him. | ||
| But in the second fight, he fucking murked him. | ||
| So he was probably thinking he could merc anybody. | ||
| All he has to do is touch them, the way he did with Luis Ortiz. | ||
| Same thing in the first fight. | ||
| Had a tough first fight with him. | ||
| Second fight, mercs him with one punch. | ||
| I think he just had this thing in his head that that's what he does, and he's going to do that to Tyson Fury, too. | ||
| And he never believed that Tyson Fury was actually going to fight that way. | ||
| That he was going to jump on him. | ||
| But Tyson said he was going to do that. | ||
| I know, but... | ||
| Like, told him the game plan. | ||
| Like, I'm coming after you. | ||
| Deontay literally said, you don't believe a word you're saying. | ||
| He believes it now. | ||
| He believes it now. | ||
| I'm real excited. | ||
| I'm excited for the third one. | ||
| Well, they were talking about him fighting Anthony Joshua. | ||
| Tyson Fury fighting Anthony Joshua first. | ||
| And if that does happen, I think he beats Anthony Joshua. | ||
| I think Tyson Fury's the best heavyweight on Earth. | ||
| I do. | ||
| And I think the only person that could beat him is probably... | ||
| Wilder, if Wilder can recreate the success of the first fight and catch him. | ||
| Do you think fights are... | ||
| I remember, like, after Tyson stopped boxing or after, you know, he lost, I kind of lost a lot of interest in it because I grew up with, like, Sugar Ray, Tommy Hearns, and Marvelous Marvin Hagler, and I felt like I don't see fights like that anymore. | ||
| Oh, well, they're possible today. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| But you used to see them all the time. | ||
| Team Thurman and Manny Pacquiao was an amazing fight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anytime Terence Crawford fights, I'm in. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| He's phenomenal. | ||
| Back then, it seemed like every fight was a great fight. | ||
| Or is that just getting old and reminiscing? | ||
| Yeah, it's just reminiscing. | ||
| There's some great fighters now. | ||
| Earl Spence Jr., Vasily Lomachenko. | ||
| It's a great time for boxing. | ||
| Usyk is now a heavyweight. | ||
| It's a great time for boxing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It really is. | |
| And before your crowd jumps on me, I don't know anything about boxing, so I'm not saying anything. | ||
| Well, I'm not a boxing expert. | ||
| I know some stuff about boxing because I'm a fan, but it's not like MMA. If someone wants to talk to me about MMA, I can give you very educated opinions on things and I can dissect things. | ||
| With boxing, I have some opinions, but you know, There's other people that are better at it. | ||
| It's a good time, though. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I'll get into it, then. | ||
| I'll get into it again. | ||
| I'll let you know when something big is happening. | ||
| When there's a big one. | ||
| You know, we do these fight companions for UFC fights. | ||
| We should do some of them for boxing. | ||
| We've only done it for Glory, for kickboxing. | ||
| You should do a boxing one. | ||
| I know, we should. | ||
| We should have done it for that fight. | ||
| We would have went crazy. | ||
| We went and went fucking crazy. | ||
| When he knocked him down the third round, I screamed. | ||
| Everybody in my house was like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| I know. | ||
| I think they should have stopped it in the fifth or sixth. | ||
| They could have done that, too. | ||
| Yeah, but he's Deontay Wilder, man. | ||
| One punch, one punch. | ||
| One swinging right hand, and next thing you know, Tyson Fury's got a flashlight in his face, and he can't believe it. | ||
| He's like, what? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| It's over? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| That's what Deontay does to people. | ||
| When he hit Luis Ortiz and the spray of sweat flew off his face and Ortiz crumbled and he had this look in his eyes like, what just happened? | ||
| Did I get hit by God? | ||
| Did I get hit by a lightning bolt? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| Did a lightning bolt come out of the sky? | ||
| Like, people can't believe how hard he hits. | ||
| But the key to Tyson Fury's victory is he didn't let him hit him. | ||
| He just jumped on him. | ||
| And Tyson Fury has a unique style. | ||
| Like that big motherfucker, he's 6'9". | ||
| He's so big. | ||
| So big. | ||
| And so long. | ||
| And he's such a good boxer, man. | ||
| No one in the heavyweight division has that kind of head movement. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And he's such a character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He says he jerked off seven times a day to build his testosterone. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's saying he's going, I'm going to settle gypsy lube. | ||
| He's got his own lube, his own brand of personal lube that he beats off with. | ||
| He says beating off seven times a day increases his testosterone. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know if there's facts behind that. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That might be conjecture. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Hey, where was that special that I saw of you? | ||
| You have a special. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's on Amazon Prime, Blasian. | ||
| That's what it's called. | ||
| That's what it's called, Blasian? | ||
| And what's crazy is it came out probably about eight months, last time I was on here, but they just released it on DVD, so my mom thinks I made it. | ||
| Like, literally... | ||
| Like, it got released last week on DVD at Best Buy and Target, and my mom saw it at Target. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Your mom still buys DVDs. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, who buys DVDs? | ||
| And, you know, Comedy Dynamics was like, yeah, a company wanted to put it out. | ||
| So I was like, all right, cool. | ||
| But the main thing is, I'm going to be in New York. | ||
| I got this new tour, new material. | ||
| I'm exhausted. | ||
| That's what it's called. | ||
| It talks about my two kids, the family, all the things going on in the world. | ||
| And I'm at Gotham. | ||
| Comedy Club, March 7th and 8th. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah, it's the diapers and the bottles now, man. | ||
| I think it's March 7th. | ||
| I put the wrong date on there, but March 7th and 8th. | ||
| Fix that shit. | ||
| I am, I am. | ||
| You put the wrong date on the fucking banner? | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| I'm an idiot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then, on the largest podcast in the world... | |
| It's March 7th and 8th. | ||
| 7th and 8th. | ||
| Gotham comedy. | ||
| People are going to try to buy tickets for the 6th and they're like, what? | ||
| Maybe they can squeeze you in on the 6th too. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's my son's birthday. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| I got to be there, man. | ||
| That's probably why you subliminally accidentally put that, you're thinking about that number. | ||
| Oh man, I can't miss my son's birthday. | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| So michaelyo.com for tickets. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| So this special that's on Amazon, why did they release it now on DVD? They said, Comedy Dynamics, I guess there's a DVD company that invests in a couple specials a year. | ||
| And for some reason, they invested in mine and thought it could do well. | ||
| And I was like, who buys DVDs? | ||
| And they go, oh, it's about $3 billion a year still. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Yeah, and I'm like, okay. | ||
| I'm buying most of those action movies and shit. | ||
| But who buys DVDs? | ||
| People live somewhere. | ||
| I don't even have a DVD player. | ||
| The internet sucks. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Where's that, though? | ||
| Rural America? | ||
| Even rural America has internet, Joe. | ||
| Not if you have satellite. | ||
| The people with satellite, you can't really stream Netflix and stuff with satellite. | ||
| Unless you have really good satellite. | ||
| Like, how good is good satellite now? | ||
| There's still Redbox and, like... | ||
| Oh, we can get a DVD? There's still Redbox? | ||
| Yeah, those are big. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| There's a couple other companies like it. | ||
| I'm not shitting on Redbox, but I... Someone should have told Blockbuster to hang in there. | ||
| Netflix still sends them. | ||
| That's like their original business. | ||
| No, they do not. | ||
| They definitely still do. | ||
| They do? | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| They got rid of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I guarantee you they got rid of it. | ||
| No, it's still there. | ||
| No, they got rid of it. | ||
| I know people that do use it. | ||
| They got rid of it. | ||
| Are you just guessing? | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| I thought I read an article that said they got rid of that like three or four years ago. | ||
| They don't have... | ||
| Why would... | ||
| Look, hey, get the DVD. Get the DVD if you want. | ||
| But I just don't know one person. | ||
| Like, my mom didn't even buy my DVD. Look at that. | ||
| Movies delivered right to your mailbox. | ||
| Free shipping, no late fees. | ||
| Is that Netflix? | ||
| Yeah, it's DVD.com, but it's DVD.netflix.com. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| Hanging in there. | ||
| So the two facts, it's about $3 billion a year, and Aquaman made $17 million off of DVDs. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's a bunch of ladies finger-blasting themselves to Jason Momoa. | ||
| That is pausing. | ||
| It's the most paused movie ever in all of our library. | ||
| They just pause it when he's flexing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nobody ever finishes the movie. | ||
| Yeah, it's the most watched to movie with a vibrator. | ||
| Roughly 212 million... | ||
| DVD, Blu-ray, and rentals account for 1.34% of Netflix revenue. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 2.7 million subscribers as of last year. | ||
| So they made $212 million just from DVDs last year. | ||
| And that's just Netflix. | ||
| Just Netflix. | ||
| Wait, renting. | ||
| That's just renting. | ||
| That's not even owning. | ||
| That's renting. | ||
| Hey, Joe, you better put out a DVD quick. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Middle America. | ||
| Netflix. | ||
| I wonder if they put my shit on DVDs. | ||
| I'm sure you can read it. | ||
| Strange Times is on DVDs. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| People are still doing it. | ||
| That's one thing that I am curious about, though. | ||
| What's the best satellite downloads you can get? | ||
| What do you mean, what's a satellite download? | ||
| If you're in the middle of the country, you can get satellite internet when the upload is terrible. | ||
| I think now everybody has good internet. | ||
| That's what Elon's trying to fix that problem. | ||
| Yeah, but he's filling the sky up with junk. | ||
| Stuff's floating around up there. | ||
| Amateur astronomers getting pissed. | ||
| They think they're seeing UFOs, just Elon satellites. | ||
| What is... | ||
| Have you ever had a Tesla or do you have a Tesla? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you let it drive yourself? | ||
| On the highway, I hit it, but I keep my hand on the steering wheel. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I heard it's great. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| But my friend was like, yeah, man, I had a late show in San Diego and I just let it drive me home. | ||
| I had my hands on the wheel, but I wasn't really paying attention. | ||
| I was like, that's crazy. | ||
| That's kind of crazy. | ||
| I pay attention. | ||
| But if you are kind of tired, it's a good way to just chill out. | ||
| Put your hand on the wheel and just let the car do most of the work. | ||
| It does a lot of the work. | ||
| So it changes lanes? | ||
| Oh yeah, it'll change lanes. | ||
| It'll do everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just put in your address. | ||
| And even when you get to the normal streets, it'll turn and all that stuff? | ||
| There's a thing that you can get that I got that I haven't used that's like some new higher level version of AutoDrive. | ||
| I haven't done that. | ||
| And I don't necessarily know what that does specifically different than what I had before. | ||
| But it was a new update and it was like four grand. | ||
| So I was like, alright, let's see, Elon. | ||
| Show me what's up, homie. | ||
| But you haven't used it yet. | ||
| No. | ||
| First of all, I told Elon I was going to buy one of those things because he came on the podcast. | ||
| He was telling me about it and I was like, alright, I'll get one. | ||
| I'll get one. | ||
| And I got it. | ||
| And he was right. | ||
| It's the most amazing car I've ever driven. | ||
| Most amazing car I've ever driven by far. | ||
| Did you get the SUV or the car? | ||
| I got the car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I got the Model S P100D, which is like the top of the food chain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| S series. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Four doors. | ||
| The rims, everything. | ||
| Dude, it's so fast. | ||
| It's so fast, it doesn't even make sense. | ||
| You hit the gas, it's like you... | ||
| There's no gas. | ||
| You hit the accelerator. | ||
| You hit that electricity and you're gone. | ||
| Yeah, you hit that juice. | ||
| You hit the juice. | ||
| And you are on a rollercoaster ride. | ||
| It just pins you to your chair. | ||
| Silent. | ||
| Completely silent. | ||
| And you're like, holy fuck. | ||
| There's a holy fuck moment where I take people in my car and I stomp on the gas. | ||
| I'm like, you ready? | ||
| I took Tim Dillon. | ||
| I drove him from the Improv the other night. | ||
| And he got my car. | ||
| You ready? | ||
|
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|
He goes, yeah. | |
| I go, ugh. | ||
| He's like, what? | ||
| I go, yo, what the fuck, man? | ||
| 2.4 seconds. | ||
| Is that that boost? | ||
| It's called ludicrous mode. | ||
| Ludicrous mode, yeah, yeah. | ||
| 2.4 seconds, zero to 60. It is insanity. | ||
| It's so fast. | ||
| It's so fast, but that's only part of the car. | ||
| The other thing is the comfort. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's so smooth and so easy to drive. | ||
| And the dashboard, once you get used to having this fucking huge, like bigger than any iPad. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen it. | ||
| Main navigation screen, like, navigation is way better. | ||
| And the voice prompts, like, you can say to, like, say, you want to talk about a restaurant, like, Felix is my favorite restaurant in Los Angeles in Venice. | ||
| I'll say, navigate to Felix Restaurant in Venice. | ||
| And it'll just go, boop, boop. | ||
| And it'll just show you on the thing. | ||
| And all of a sudden, it's there. | ||
| The voice commands are so good. | ||
| And it'll just take you there. | ||
| And it'll take you on autopilot if you want. | ||
| And it's fucking madness. | ||
| You're living in the future in one of those things. | ||
| My dad, he's a nuclear physicist, and he goes, you will never see... | ||
| I mean, you'll see... | ||
| The 44 years I've lived, the technology we've seen from not being around to being around, he goes, they'll improve it. | ||
| It'll get better. | ||
| But all the stuff that was made in that short amount of time that you didn't have, the internet, cell phones, you'll never see that again in a while. | ||
| But it'll be better. | ||
| It'll always get better. | ||
| Now you have cars that drive themselves. | ||
| New things. | ||
| They had a car, same type of car, just went a little bit faster. | ||
| They added a CD or a track. | ||
| A little better brakes. | ||
| Oh, now it's a CD player. | ||
| Oh, the tape player. | ||
| But still a car. | ||
| We go from that to, oh, the car's going to drive itself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they have a new Tesla coming out, the Tesla Roadster, that's 1.9 seconds zero to 60. Top speed of 250 miles an hour. | ||
| And the range is 600 miles. | ||
| So it can go 600 miles without getting recharged. | ||
| And it looks dope as fuck. | ||
| It looks like a little spaceship. | ||
| Like a little spaceship fucked a Ferrari. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| It's the dopest looking car on the road. | ||
| It's not on the road yet. | ||
| They're still developing it. | ||
| My thing is not speed. | ||
| I could care less about speed. | ||
| Yesterday, I was literally driving. | ||
| I was like, wow, I'm flying. | ||
| I was going 58 miles per hour. | ||
| I'm not about speed at all. | ||
| But I am about speed. | ||
| I don't ever want to go to a gas station again. | ||
| So I'm thinking about it in the future to get a Tesla or some type of car. | ||
| Does your house have a little plug area? | ||
| Oh yeah, the house came with it. | ||
| Are you into the solar thing yet on the top of the roof? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, well, my house right now, I was going to get Tesla panels, but I can't get Tesla panels on my roof because of the pitch of my roof, but I'm getting them on the side of where the lawn is. | ||
| So you want to go completely off the grid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Well, what if the shit hits the fan, son? | ||
| You want to keep that refrigerator running? | ||
| You know, you don't want to have to fucking try to kill a squirrel in your neighborhoods. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| It's not... | ||
| I mean, look, it's a lot of money, but it's not as much as you think to do... | ||
| Like, my friend just did a roof for, like, 50 grand. | ||
| You know, and he'll never have to pay for electricity. | ||
| Yeah, and you actually sometimes get money back from the grid. | ||
| It's a unique time. | ||
| One of the things that Tesla or Elon is doing that's really intriguing to me that I have guarded skepticism, not guarded skepticism, guarded optimism, I should say, is Neuralink. | ||
| Do you know about that? | ||
| I heard the podcast when he was talking, or I've heard something about him talking. | ||
| Probably going to drill holes in people's heads and put wires in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| No, I'm not for that. | ||
| Like, where's that going to go? | ||
| If that gets implemented, and it will, where is, you know... | ||
| Isn't it, you're supposed to be able, like, if you think about something, it's almost like a computer, you'll see it? | ||
| Yes, you'll be able to download, you'll be able to access information much quicker, it'll increase your bandwidth to access information. | ||
| I don't totally understand it. | ||
| I've had it explained to me multiple times, but I'm fucking stupid! | ||
| So it doesn't all get in there. | ||
| But what I'm thinking is, go back to the iPhone 1, right? | ||
| And then think about how clunky that little piece of shit is. | ||
| And that was only 10 years ago. | ||
| Now look at your iPhone, whatever that is, or this one. | ||
| This is the 11. Yeah, I got 11 too. | ||
| They're fucking amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're amazing. | ||
| But, like, it's not going to get any better. | ||
| There'll be more features, but it's not going to get any better. | ||
| Well... | ||
| It's way better in terms of its ability to download things. | ||
| A step better. | ||
| How about this? | ||
| The new Samsung phones. | ||
| There's a Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra that's just about to come out. | ||
| It has 5G, so the speeds are spectacular for the internet where 5G is available. | ||
| And it has a 108 megapixel camera. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| But why do you need that much? | ||
| A hundred times. | ||
| A hundred Zoom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hundred. | |
| So that means, like, you could see some shit that's a hundred times smaller than what you'd be able to see normally. | ||
| Okay, but why do we need that? | ||
| Why do you not need it, Grandpa? | ||
| But why do you need it? | ||
| Why do you need cars? | ||
| My horse is a good horse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I feed him hay, I treat him well, and we have a wonderful relationship. | |
| No. | ||
| I ride him around. | ||
| No, I'm not that dude. | ||
| What do you need that for? | ||
| What are you going to take a picture of that you need to zoom? | ||
| Some shit that I can't see with one zoom. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| I don't understand how he doesn't get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like? | |
| Like what? | ||
| If you're spying on someone, then no one needs that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, there you go. | |
| Okay. | ||
| If you're an FBI spy. | ||
| Well, if you're... | ||
| Like, how about some shit is going down? | ||
| How about you're at the comedy store and you see a fistfight down the street and, like, these two people are beating the fuck out of each other. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| You zoom the shit in and you can film it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| From way, way, way far away. | ||
| Gotta go get... | ||
| Gotta walk closer and get a good shot of that. | ||
| There's a reason. | ||
| Why is there a reason to have as many megapixels as you have now? | ||
| It's not. | ||
| iPhone 1 is fine. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| iPhone 1 is fine. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Did you see that picture that I have in the bathroom of the hooker with her tit out? | ||
| No, I've never been to your bathroom. | ||
| Oh, there's a picture in the bathroom that I took when I had a flip phone when I was filming Fear Factor. | ||
| We were in downtown LA, and this lady was walking by. | ||
| She was eating a meatball sub. | ||
| LAUGHTER She has a wig on and sunglasses. | ||
| It's literally like I hired her to pose for this picture because it's so perfect. | ||
| And she pulls her tit out. | ||
| She goes, you want some of this, baby? | ||
| And I just snap a picture of it. | ||
| She smiled and she took off. | ||
| And then that picture... | ||
| I put it online in Text America, which eventually became what Instagram is today. | ||
| And then we found it online, sent it to a printer, had it blown up, and now it's a framed picture. | ||
| And you would swear I hired someone. | ||
| It's perfectly framed. | ||
| There's like a fucking 18-wheeler behind this lady. | ||
| She's walking with a meatball sub with her tit out. | ||
| I took that out of the one megapixel camera. | ||
| And it's perfect. | ||
| It's pretty good. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So why do you need a hundred of them? | ||
| Because this is better. | ||
| This is a concept of the Neuralink potential app, I suppose. | ||
| Oh, it's an app! | ||
| They don't really know. | ||
| I don't think this is just like a concept, but what people linked on here is that a little menu pops up and it says learn skills as though you're in the matrix. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| You can maybe download a skill or upload a skill to your brain, and now you can... | ||
| The problem with that is everybody... | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| No, that's the problem. | ||
| Then everybody can do things they don't put any work into. | ||
| Yeah, that's great. | ||
| No, everybody can just fucking fly across the country. | ||
| You don't even have to traverse the place where I had to eat my sister after she's died. | ||
| Okay, let me put it like this. | ||
| Then anybody can do stand-up comedy. | ||
| No, you can't. | ||
| You ain't teaching people shit creatively or artistically. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| You think you could teach people how to be Dave Chappelle? | ||
| No. | ||
| No chance. | ||
| You can't with that either. | ||
| That's not going to be able to do it. | ||
| That's going to be good for us. | ||
| Because out of all that shit, they still can't do that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Good luck, bitch. | ||
| Got to put in those numbers. | ||
| But what that can do is help you download information. | ||
| I don't know what that is going to be, but I know Elon Musk is way smarter than us. | ||
| Will it happen in our lifetime? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Will you do it? | ||
| I'm not going to be an early adopter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like people that got the first fake tits. | ||
| Those ladies got cancer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Do you know girls are getting butt cancer now? | ||
| Are they really? | ||
| From fake butts? | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know someone. | ||
| You need to watch Botched. | ||
| Butt cancer? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was watching a clip off of Botch the other day where this girl had a fake butt and they were just trying to fix it. | ||
| And it was just this disaster. | ||
| This poor lady. | ||
| It was just like the surface of the moon. | ||
| It was just all dented in and fucked up. | ||
| And you know what it is? | ||
| It's the Kardashians, man. | ||
| They ruined it. | ||
| Well, I think it's every generation or even century, you can go back to the old days, where... | ||
| The body that's hardest to get is the most popular body. | ||
| Kings were fat because they had a lot of food. | ||
| Peasants weren't, but they wanted to be fat because it showed a sign of money. | ||
| And then it was, I believe the 50s, it was all about rail thin. | ||
| No butt, no boobs, just rail. | ||
| And then, because that was hard to obtain. | ||
| Because most people aren't born like that. | ||
| Now the Kardashians, it takes money, I guess, for a lot of women to achieve that, and money, the amount of money where you don't have the disposable income to do it. | ||
| So not a lot of people can do it. | ||
| So it seems like the most popular body for women is the bodies, the hardest to obtain. | ||
| It's never like, oh, normal body is beautiful. | ||
| It's always like, no, we need very large butts. | ||
| Well, it's also what you see in media, right? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That's why a lot of women thought that it would be really good to be real thin because they saw models. | ||
| Because clothing designers like models to be real thin because then they're like a hanger. | ||
| There's no weird big tits and big ass that makes their clothing not stand out. | ||
| That it's just about the hanger. | ||
| But what changed? | ||
| Because it's still like that. | ||
| As far as modeling. | ||
| Yeah, with modeling. | ||
| With clothing. | ||
| So what changed? | ||
| What changed is social media. | ||
| In social media, there's a lot of butt girls that are just online. | ||
| I had a proud moment the other day. | ||
| My nine-year-old, we're at a restaurant. | ||
| This lady walked by. | ||
| My nine-year-old, she pulls at me and she goes, Daddy, she's got diaper butt. | ||
| Because that's what I call it. | ||
| I call it diaper butt when those girls get fake butts. | ||
| Because it looks like they're wearing a full diaper. | ||
| It doesn't fit your legs. | ||
| It doesn't look normal. | ||
| But she goes, Daddy, she's got diaper butt. | ||
| I was like, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's diaper butt. | ||
| It looks like a diaper. | ||
| Their legs are really skinny. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| You get this giant dump in your diaper. | ||
| You just shit your pants. | ||
| You're just walking around waiting to get home. | ||
| It's a mess. | ||
| But... | ||
| You're right, though. | ||
| It's unobtainable. | ||
| Unobtainable. | ||
| Difficult to obtain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But it's also completely exaggerated, right? | ||
| Like giant tits, small waist, enormous ass. | ||
| Giant lips. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's the saddest one, because that doesn't work. | ||
| No, you look like a fish. | ||
| Oh, the lip one is such a bad move. | ||
| And you're ruining the thing you kiss with. | ||
| It's like your fucking lips. | ||
| What is something that guys do, though? | ||
| That. | ||
| I can't... | ||
| I was thinking like... | ||
| Imagine if guys did have like big dick implants. | ||
| Oh, every guy would do it. | ||
| Getting their dick stretched out. | ||
| Guys can't have even toupees. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Guys can't have like... | ||
| If a guy has like fake eyebrows, girls are like, what? | ||
| A guy with fake lips? | ||
| Imagine if a guy got his... | ||
| In the gay community, he'd do it though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do they? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| There's certain silly gay guys that get their lips done. | ||
| I've seen gay guys. | ||
| When you're talking to them, it's like super distracting. | ||
| Because they're like just... | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So they do with the, okay, lip injections? | ||
| Yeah, they're doing the same thing that a lot of women are doing. | ||
| But it's just, the lips are weird. | ||
| Because I think people saw that the tits worked and no one cared. | ||
| Like, obviously, you see a lot of girls with fake tits and no one seems to mind. | ||
| And guys think it's kind of hot. | ||
| But they did mind the first, like, three or four years. | ||
| Everybody would kind of make fun of them. | ||
| But now it's like, it's so acceptable now. | ||
| What are you playing music? | ||
| I didn't mean the music started. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Well, I was going to bring up this video that's been going around. | ||
| I was going to ask if this is a new thing or just the internet got it, but it's wigs for men, but it's gone viral online a few times over the last few months. | ||
| Oh, have you seen this? | ||
| They're basically shaving a guy's head and then gluing on a wig. | ||
| Oh, I have seen that. | ||
| Do you know how sweaty that must be? | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| Is it new, though, or is this sort of just being redone? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I read a comment because I saw this. | ||
| That's not going to stay. | ||
| See, the thing is... | ||
| They're saying it does. | ||
| Yeah, you replace it every six weeks or something like that. | ||
| But what happens at week five if a girl tries to grab it? | ||
| Your hair always... | ||
| That's what his hair looks like? | ||
| It looks that good? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| No, it's like next level. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Damn, see me next week. | ||
| I'm not saying shit, just put it away. | ||
| Would it say before? | ||
| Would it say before? | ||
| What was that before? | ||
| Show it where it said before, because before... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where is before? | |
| That's after. | ||
| Before would be before that, buddy. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| So there's his hair. | ||
| Keep it rolling. | ||
| And it says before. | ||
| Oh, so he had some hair. | ||
| Oh, there's ones that the person is completely bald, and it looks like that after they're done. | ||
| I've seen ones with black dudes. | ||
| I've seen black dudes get that, and it's real weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, they... | |
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| It's a straight-up wig. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| How's it look? | ||
| So they shaved his head. | ||
| Let that go. | ||
| Let that play. | ||
| Stop moving shit around. | ||
| I want to see what the fuck... | ||
| There's, like, a highlight video that shows lots of guys getting this done so you can see lots of versions of it. | ||
| But I want to see that part we were just looking at. | ||
| Go back to that part we were just looking at where they're working on the glue. | ||
| Is that how... | ||
| That guy has one, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| That's so weird. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so weird. | ||
| Well, the stem cell treatments that they have for hair loss are very interesting. | ||
| That shit is actually working. | ||
| Where they're actually growing hair back through stem cells. | ||
| But you have to have the hair to grow back. | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| See, that's the misconception a lot of people have about it. | ||
| If you've lost the hair... | ||
| If it's all gone. | ||
| It doesn't come back. | ||
| It doesn't come back. | ||
| If you have a little, then it can. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Girls are not going to like that. | ||
| Girls don't like guys that have fake shit. | ||
| I dated a girl when I first moved to LA. She had a shaved head. | ||
| She wore wigs all the time. | ||
| I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| But imagine if I just started wearing wigs everywhere. | ||
| My wife would be like, what are you doing? | ||
| It's just my new look. | ||
| I want to be like Tarzan. | ||
| There's some things like this that I've noticed have popped back up and gotten famous again. | ||
| They've already been around the 80s and 90s, but because people weren't online, it just didn't go viral in that way. | ||
| It snuck back in and people are like, oh, look at this brand new thing. | ||
| And it's like, it's not new at all. | ||
| I didn't even know women had fake hair until I moved to LA. Oh, like weaves? | ||
| The weaves. | ||
| I knew nothing about it. | ||
| So the first time I hooked up with a girl out here when I first moved here, I went out like, you know, she was in bed and I went out to the living room and I thought it was an animal on my couch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't know what it was. | |
| It was her hair. | ||
| I didn't know that they did that. | ||
| And then I started working for E. They had a wall full of hair for all the girls. | ||
| A wall full of hair. | ||
| So for different girls, they would have the color that matched their hair? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Each girl had their own row of hair. | ||
| In Texas, I never saw that. | ||
| And I was just shocked that it went to that degree. | ||
| I didn't even know that happened. | ||
| Well, I think girls are doing that in Texas, too. | ||
| They just didn't tell you. | ||
| That's a common thing, the weave with the hair. | ||
| No, I don't think it's... | ||
| Well, at that time, I don't think... | ||
| No, because I think it's more of a TV thing. | ||
| It's definitely more of a TV thing. | ||
| Because they're like, oh, we need your hair longer, shorter. | ||
| Thicker. | ||
| In Texas, they wouldn't do that. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Nah, that was weird. | ||
| I wonder what's happening to people that people are losing hair. | ||
| Like, we're evolving, right? | ||
| If you look at all the other primates, none of the other primates, as they get older, lose their hair. | ||
| But we have less hair than all the primates, right? | ||
| So our whole bodies are losing hair. | ||
| And the weird thing is, like, we definitely came from them. | ||
| If you pay attention, like, we played this guy, put this guy on images on the podcast before. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Ruslan Chiev, he's this Russian wrestler who is a gorilla. | ||
| He's a gorilla man, and he's a fucking savage. | ||
| He just throws people around like ragdolls. | ||
| But you look at him, you're like, oh, well, clearly this guy is in a different stage of evolution than some of us. | ||
| You know, he's like, he's more, more savage. | ||
| But as people evolve further and further, I think we're going to look like aliens. | ||
| I think we're going to lose all our hair, and I think we're going to grow big ass heads. | ||
| Because you don't need the hair. | ||
| You're going to need to hear that Elon Musk Neuralink is going to change the way our brains function. | ||
| We're going to do everything with our brains. | ||
| We're going to be communicating through those things. | ||
| The 50th or 60th version of that. | ||
| Just like the iPhone 1 versus the Samsung Galaxy S20 with its 108 megapixel camera. | ||
| If you came out with that camera and that phone 10 years ago, they'd excuse you of witchcraft. | ||
| Who the fuck are you? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| How did you do this? | ||
| In, you know, a thousand years, we're probably all going to look like that. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I know you're big on aliens. | ||
| I just don't believe it. | ||
| I mean, we talked about this last time. | ||
| You don't believe it at all? | ||
| I believe there's other life forms. | ||
| You just don't believe they've been here? | ||
| I don't think they're coming here. | ||
| There's no reason to come here. | ||
| We are offering nothing. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| What are we offering, Joe? | ||
| Well... | ||
| If you're that far... | ||
| People travel to go study small mammals in the Congo. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They spend giant chunks of their life to go look at butterflies. | ||
| We found a new frog. | ||
| And South America and the National Geographic Society will give them money. | ||
| We're going to document this frog. | ||
| People are curious. | ||
| And anything that's going to be intelligent and innovative, anything that's going to invent technology, the only reason why you invent technology is because you are curious. | ||
| And if you are curious, you're not going to stop being curious. | ||
| You're going to continue to be curious. | ||
| And if you have a fucking whole planet filled with predatory apes that have thermonuclear weapons, and they want to control various patches of land that they've designated on maps with lines, and they put stupid fucking fences up. | ||
| and they nuke each other and they fucking fly planes and drop bombs out and they have other planes that they fucking operate remotely with these little joysticks and drop bombs on people and we kill terrorists and some of the people that run the country are terrorists and and then you have for the stock market like what the fuck are these people doing the stock markets what is that a bunch of numbers that are bouncing around they're trying to speculate what's gonna go this and it's based on confidence oh my god these people are crazy and then they have the ability to sound video through the air And it reaches their phone on | ||
| the other side of the world instantaneously like, whoa, this is really heavy stuff. | ||
| These fucking crazy monkeys down on planet Earth are weird. | ||
| We should study them. | ||
| Of course they would study us. | ||
| We're sending rockets into space. | ||
| We're invading other planets in our solar system to try to colonize. | ||
| If they're coming here, that's basic to them. | ||
| All that stuff you just mentioned is so basic. | ||
| Says who? | ||
| Says you? | ||
| No, to get here, they have to have technology we haven't even... | ||
| No, they don't. | ||
| No, they have to have technology that's slightly more advanced than us. | ||
| We will be able to unquestionably travel to other planets within 100 years or 200 years. | ||
| Let's say 300 years. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So that's comparing us to people that live in 1720, right? | ||
| That's not that long. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay. | |
| Okay. | ||
| So it's like, we went back in time to visit people in the 1700s, we'd be fascinated. | ||
| And we'd be very interested. | ||
| If we found a planet somewhere, 300 years from now, that had people on that planet that lived like people lived here in the 1700s, we would be blown away. | ||
| I just think it's the most unique and interesting thing we've ever found ever in life. | ||
| I just don't know, with everyone having a cell phone, can take footage, why don't they have, like, real... | ||
| Why don't multiple people have the same footage of the same thing? | ||
| Like, it happens... | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, they do. | |
| They do. | ||
| There are some sightings, particularly the Phoenix Lights that happened in the 90s, that many, many people captured. | ||
| They don't know exactly what they are, they don't know what... | ||
| But a lot of people captured these lights that are in the sky. | ||
| Now, my take on the Phoenix Lights and a lot of these things is usually that there's some sort of a military aircraft they're working on. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| They don't have to visit all the time. | ||
| If they only visited once or twice, these unique experiences that have happened once or twice over the course of human history, or three times, or ten times, or a hundred times, what are the odds that anyone's going to capture it? | ||
| Especially if they're smart about it. | ||
| Especially if they're smart about how they come. | ||
| Especially if they have some sort of cloaking apparatus or they have some ability to understand whether or not they're being viewed or observed and knowing how to hide or how to camouflage their ships. | ||
| But of course they would be interested. | ||
| I think that's the least plausible scenario that they wouldn't be interested in us. | ||
| The thing that was interesting to me when you interviewed Snow, he's been through everything. | ||
| Snowden. | ||
| He found no evidence. | ||
| But he hasn't been through everything. | ||
| First of all, he's only one man. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's not like he's working there for hundreds of years and deeply diving into the subject of UFOs and has access to... | ||
| And not only that, like, what does he have access to? | ||
| He has access to the NSA files? | ||
| And, like, everything's compartmentalized. | ||
| That's one of the big problems with the military is that NASA does not have access to what the Navy has access to, which doesn't have access to what the Army has access to. | ||
| They don't always cooperate. | ||
| So for him to say that he didn't find anything about UFOs, that makes sense. | ||
| He probably even looked a little bit and didn't find anything about UFOs. | ||
| That doesn't mean there's nothing about UFOs. | ||
| It just means that he didn't find anything. | ||
|
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Okay. | |
| Okay. | ||
| There's a lot of information out there. | ||
| When you think about one person that's going to scour all the government records from the 1950s to present about what they've discovered and what they haven't. | ||
| So Area 51, what do you think is in there? | ||
| Well, nothing now. | ||
| Nothing now. | ||
| I think at one point in time, well, it is for sure, one point in time, what they used to work on secret military projects, or aircrafts, and that's where the Blackbird came out of, that's where the stealth bomber came out of. | ||
| There was a lot of that stuff that a lot of people mistook for UFOs. | ||
| I think the real question lies in the very small percentage of unexplained sightings. | ||
| So if you look at UFO sightings, you take the pie of UFO sightings, I would say, and not me, they say. | ||
| What they're talking about that's been solved is somewhere in the neighborhood of 95% of those. | ||
| 95% can be explained by swamp gas, ball lightning. | ||
| Ball lightning is a phenomenon that comes when, depending upon tectonic pressure, the Earth can release this lightning out of the ground that travels in a ball-shaped pattern and zigs through the sky and then vanishes and disappears. | ||
| They don't totally understand how it's being created, but they do know it requires Some pressure in the earth, something about tectonic plates and possibly different atmospheric conditions, but it's a real observable phenomenon that's actually occurred on planes before. | ||
| Like it's flown down the passageway of a jet at one point in time. | ||
| Yeah, people, multiple people observed this ball lightning and they thought they were being aborted by a fucking UFO or something. | ||
| It's a weird, have you ever seen it? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| It's a very weird phenomenon. | ||
| See, get a video on, we should probably wrap this up soon, it's three hours and 30 minutes. | ||
| Get a video on ball lightning because they have observed this and filmed this. | ||
| It's really fascinating. | ||
| That's responsible for a lot of UFO sightings. | ||
| But there's that 5% that can't be explained. | ||
| Maybe out of that 5%, 4% that just haven't figured out how to explain it. | ||
| Let me see this. | ||
| That is ball lightning. | ||
| Hovering in the sky. | ||
| And sometimes they'll fly around. | ||
| Sometimes not only do they hover in place, but they move around. | ||
| So lightning crackles, and then this thing will hover in the sky. | ||
| And then sometimes they actually come out of the ground. | ||
| You know, this is bad comparison probably, but it's almost like an ash. | ||
| You know, when you... | ||
| This is a bad video. | ||
| See if there's... | ||
| You know, I understand. | ||
| But the problem is, there's all these other people talking in it. | ||
| There's different videos of ball lightning that I've watched. | ||
| It's pretty interesting shit, man. | ||
| Ball lightning's weird. | ||
| Because it's... | ||
| See, look, like there. | ||
| It flies around, and it looks like a fucking UFO. See? | ||
| And then it disappears. | ||
| So that's a weird one. | ||
| That's a weird one that kind of looks like it would be an alien spacecraft. | ||
| And then they get videos of it, and it looks like a ball flying through the sky. | ||
| People are like, oh, my God, it's a UFO. | ||
| But it's just a very rare atmospheric occurrence. | ||
| And Huh. | ||
|
unidentified
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Huh. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think if I was an alien species 500 years more advanced than we are, I would be fucking fascinated by Earth. | ||
| And that's all you need. | ||
| 500 years from now with the exponential growth of technology like we're experiencing on Earth, 500 years from now if we don't blow ourselves up or if they're different than us, like maybe they evolve different and they don't have the same battle for resources so they didn't develop the kind of... | ||
| Territorial behavior that us apes have, if they develop something more complex and a different sort of cooperative evolutionary mechanism, they could be very different than us, but still way more advanced, but interested in us. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Will you ever see one in your lifetime? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I haven't yet. | ||
| I don't think you will. | ||
| I got something right here. | ||
| You want to see it? | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| What's in there? | ||
| Mushrooms. | ||
| You can eat aliens. | ||
| You just got to take the right dose. | ||
| I always said, if I ever do smoke weed, I'm going to smoke weed my first time with Joe Rubin. | ||
| How do you not want to smoke weed? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huh? | |
| Aren't you curious? | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| What are you scared of? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| So why don't you do it? | ||
| Well, I said if I ever smoke weed, I'll smoke it for the first time with Joe Rogan. | ||
| Just not on air. | ||
| I'm not Elon Musk or anything. | ||
| I'm not scared of it at all. | ||
| Not interested? | ||
| Not curious? | ||
| I mean, the curiosity does not knock on the door every day and go, oh my God, you guys smoke weed. | ||
| We should just set a date aside three years from now. | ||
| Think about it for three years. | ||
| No, I've already decided I'm going to do it. | ||
| Okay, when? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Next week? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Next week? | |
| It will be with you. | ||
| Shut the camera off? | ||
| Shut the camera off. | ||
| No, you gotta drive home. | ||
| Yeah, I gotta drive home. | ||
| I don't wanna do that. | ||
| Another day. | ||
| Another day. | ||
|
unidentified
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100%. | |
| Okay. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Maybe we'll do it and we'll meet aliens. | ||
| You and aliens, man. | ||
| This whole alien thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Aliens. | |
| They're going to visit you tonight. | ||
| No, they're not. | ||
| You know what? | ||
|
unidentified
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I can guarantee you, Joe, nobody's coming tonight. | |
| They're going to get them now. | ||
| This motherfucker needs a lesson in humility. | ||
| Humility from space. | ||
| You see this? | ||
| Oh, last question. | ||
| Who's going to win? | ||
| Bernie Sanders or Trump? | ||
| You know how everybody thought that Donald Trump's fucked and that Hillary Clinton was going to beat him and that no one was concerned? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All these people like, he doesn't have a chance. | ||
| Hillary's going to be the winner. | ||
| Hillary's going to be the winner. | ||
| That same shit could be going on with Bernie Sanders and Trump. | ||
| And people got to be real careful about that. | ||
| These people that think that Bernie Sanders can't win. | ||
| I don't think you understand what's going on in this country. | ||
| People are fed up with the system. | ||
| They're fed up with... | ||
| This idea that they work so hard and they give their money up to politicians and the politicians don't really work for the people. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| Can I tell you the most annoying thing a politician says? | ||
| Well, you know, I speak for the American people. | ||
| I'm like, no, you don't. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, you don't. | |
| No, no, not at all. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| Because there's not a single human that can speak for all the American people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I hate that. | |
| But you could look out for the interests of the American people. | ||
| And I think Bernie Sanders definitely does do that. | ||
| I think he's looking out for the interests of the working people. | ||
| And I think he wants people to have a better life and do better. | ||
| And I'm all for that. | ||
| And if that means I have to pay more in time, people think, oh, you're a socialist. | ||
| I've heard people say that. | ||
| Oh, you're a fucking socialist, bro. | ||
| Like, first of all, he's not even a socialist. | ||
| He's a democratic socialist. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| He's not like everyone should have the even amount of money and we should all give up our money to the institution and then the institution should decide how it gets divided and you shouldn't be able to make more than X amount of dollars. | ||
| That's not what he's saying. | ||
| What he's saying is it should work for the people. | ||
| And what he's saying is people should have health care. | ||
| What he's saying is there's a lot of things that are already socialist ideals that we use. | ||
| We just forgot about it. | ||
| Like the fire department. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| The fire department. | ||
| You don't have a private fire department that puts out your fire. | ||
| We pay for the fire department. | ||
| It comes out of our taxes. | ||
| It pays those very brave men and women, and then they come and they put out your fire. | ||
| That's a socialist idea. | ||
| Public schools are a socialist idea. | ||
| Police are a socialist idea. | ||
| Fixing of the roads. | ||
| There's a lot of things that your money goes to. | ||
| The idea that we can't extend that, and to have a better life because of it, and to have Free healthcare and free college education and to eliminate student debt. | ||
| I don't know that that's incorrect. | ||
| I don't know that he's wrong. | ||
| Yeah, I just think it's a thing where our government, to me, and I'm no expert, but it seems like they throw so much money away. | ||
| Why not, if you're going to throw it away, do something good with it? | ||
| Well, they wouldn't be throwing it away, then. | ||
| That would be actually doing something good with it. | ||
| He's got crazy ideas, and if they're right, it's revolutionary. | ||
| And that's what he thinks. | ||
| He thinks he can enact revolutionary change. | ||
| But it's free healthcare revolutionary when pretty much the whole world has it. | ||
| It's revolutionary for us. | ||
| It's us, yeah. | ||
| Because it's going to take out the drug companies, and there's a lot of money. | ||
| A lot of money. | ||
| A lot of money. | ||
| That's a big problem. | ||
| That's one of our biggest problems, is the amount of influence that not just the drug companies have, but a lot of industry has on the way politicians decide how to spend your money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And that's what he says. | ||
| That's one of the things he's saying that makes people scared. | ||
| And that's why the Democrats are scared of him, too, because they're all getting paid as well. | ||
| It's not like this is a Republican thing only. | ||
| No, listen, this is a fucking, this is an established institution thing. | ||
| But it also proves that, like with Michael Bloomberg spending all this money, that when he goes to Super Tuesday, he's going to get 13%. | ||
| They're guesstimating about 13%. | ||
| It's just, and he's going to pass up a lot of people that have been campaigning. | ||
| It shows you how much money. | ||
| You know, even can play in our politics by being on every five minutes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's not going to win. | ||
| He's blowing all our cash. | ||
| No, he's not going to win. | ||
| It's going to be a tax write-off for him. | ||
| Jamie, what were you telling me about people getting paid to say things for him? | ||
| I was just spending lots of money on the people posting online, like the memes and making all sorts of accounts. | ||
| They went after all of the, I don't know, top, but Instagram accounts, like the... | ||
| Influencers? | ||
| Meme accounts, really. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Offer the money? | ||
| Strategy, yeah. | ||
| Give them some money, like, hey, what would we do to post this? | ||
| And they all end up posting the conversation instead of what they were asking to post, which that was the strategy. | ||
| It's like these weird strategies. | ||
| They have think tanks spending millions of dollars to get that done, thinking it's going to create a 13%. | ||
| You know what I do like about Bernie Sanders? | ||
| He's the exact... | ||
| Now, don't take this wrong. | ||
| The exact same energy and vibe that Trump has. | ||
| Loud. | ||
| He says it like it is to him, whatever his thoughts are. | ||
| So really, if they go against each other, it's almost the same person. | ||
| I'm not talking policies at all. | ||
| I'm just saying this characteristics. | ||
| You know, where Bernie's not going to back down from Trump. | ||
| And Trump's not going to back down against Bernie. | ||
| And all these people going, well, I don't know if Bernie's electable. | ||
| It's like There are no rules anymore. | ||
| Can we just say... | ||
| The idea of him not being electable is ridiculous if he's won three primaries in a row. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just ridiculous. | ||
| I'm just waiting to see how it plays out. | ||
| I'm the one where it's like, you know, let's just see... | ||
| I want to see who the Democratic person is and then we all got to roll with him if you're on that side. | ||
| I think it's Bernie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's going to be Bernie unless he has a heart attack and the CIA gets him with that fucking injection. | ||
| Well, you know what it is? | ||
| It's not about Bernie. | ||
| It's if he becomes president... | ||
| Who's the vice president? | ||
| Because Bernie's old. | ||
| And I'm not wishing anything ill, but that vice president pick is very important, especially after the Hart thing. | ||
| It's very important. | ||
| And a lot of people are saying, he should get Elizabeth Warren. | ||
| Because his age in the heart- I think she's more dangerous than she is useful. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I don't know her that well. | ||
| I think a lot of people don't trust her after that whole Pocahontas shit. | ||
| The Indian stuff where she said she was Native American and it turns out she's like one one hundredth of a percent or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| But is that- It's also she was a Republican for most of her career and then she churned over and became a Democrat. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe she would get the women on their side. | ||
| But she's also an established Democrat. | ||
| That takes money. | ||
| I think it would be more likely that he would get someone that we haven't heard of. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, it's very important. | ||
| His vice president. | ||
| Because I'm just saying. | ||
| You remember Mike Pence? | ||
| Nobody knew who the fuck Mike Pence was before Donald Trump made him our vice president. | ||
| You go on the street and ask people who the vice president is. | ||
| 99% of them are going to go, oh, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people don't know who Mike Pence is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I think the real battle is Bernie and Trump. | ||
| That's the real battle. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I got you. | ||
| And I don't think the vice president is going to move the election, but I'm saying- Because he's old. | ||
| Because he's old. | ||
| Had the heart problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, the vice president is more important than like an Obama vice president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| I think Tulsi Gabbard makes the most sense because she's also like him. | ||
| She doesn't accept money. | ||
| It's the same sort of renegade philosophy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, slightly different politics, but, you know, I think he has a lot of options. | ||
| He's probably looking at them right now, especially if he keeps winning. | ||
| He's like that Joe Rogan. | ||
| Let's bring him up. | ||
| No chance. | ||
| No chance. | ||
| After he wins, when you go to White House, just bring your boy right here because I want to go to White House with you. | ||
| I don't think he'll have me after the last brouhaha after he put that video up and everybody got upset. | ||
| Oh, he'll have you. | ||
| I think what's going to happen is we're going to see that regular politics, the way they've been practiced for all these years in this country with these two bullshit choices, are going to go away. | ||
| And I think it's going to be harder and harder for established people, whether it's Republican or Democrat, to keep doing that song and dance and having people buy it. | ||
| And that's a good thing. | ||
| That's a good thing. | ||
| That's a good thing. | ||
| Let's wrap it up, Michael Yeo. | ||
| Michael Yeo, ladies and gentlemen, on Instagram. | ||
| Don't pay attention to his Gotham, because it's not 6th and the 7th. | ||
| It's actually 7th and the 8th. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Where else are you going to be? | ||
| Where people go? | ||
| MichaelYeo.com? | ||
| MichaelYeo.com has all my tour dates, but, you know... | ||
| Instagram. | ||
| Instagram at Michael Yeo. | ||
| Twitter at Michael Yeo. | ||
| Facebook at Michael Yeo. | ||
| But Gotham is the main thing. | ||
| Come on out. | ||
| Come on out. | ||
| Alright, my brother. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Always a pleasure. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was great. |
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