Feb. 25, 2020 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:33:38
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
It is? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| 3, 2, 1, boom. | ||
| And we're live. | ||
| We're talking about yoga and Russell Simmons. | ||
| Russell Simmons, he moved to Bali because he's worried about them extraditing him? | ||
| I don't know if he's worried, but I... This is all conjecture. | ||
| This is what I've heard. | ||
| But I just bought him up because he had a yoga studio here. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he gave me a month free. | ||
| A month-free, high-end yoga thing. | ||
| You just show up in your clothes. | ||
| They give you the mat, towels, blocks, everything. | ||
| Everybody was awesome. | ||
| And I went every day for a month and did yoga next to Russell Simmons. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And he was amazing. | ||
| And I was really feeling it. | ||
| I felt great. | ||
| And then all the stuff happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's so easy to slide. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| It's so easy to slide away. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| I have a funny story. | ||
| What do you think is more important than stand-up? | ||
| To be polished or to be raw? | ||
| There's no more important thing. | ||
| They're both very important. | ||
| But Joey Diaz is not polished at all. | ||
| And he's the funniest guy that I've ever seen. | ||
| No one's ever made me laugh harder. | ||
| He's not polished. | ||
| He's raw as fuck. | ||
| But raw alone is not good because some guys like Jessel Neck is very polished and he's very funny. | ||
| You're very polished. | ||
| You're very funny. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There's no one thing. | ||
| It's like comedy is an art. | ||
| It's an art, right? | ||
| It's an expression of who you are. | ||
| If you're a polished person and you try to come off raw, it's going to look corny. | ||
| So I bought that up because I am, I don't know, young 20s. | ||
| Def Jam is having auditions. | ||
| It just moved from New York to L.A. and Beverly Hills was where they're taping, which was ironic in itself. | ||
| But I was raw. | ||
| You remember those, when you go hit it DJ and you have music cue like this? | ||
| So I auditioned and Bushwick Bill I was one of the judges. | ||
| I auditioned at All Jokes Aside in Chicago, and I got picked. | ||
| I was one of the people to get picked to tape Def Jam. | ||
| First time I was ever flown out anywhere. | ||
| First time I ever was flown to Los Angeles. | ||
| I had been here before. | ||
| Stayed at the Hotel Sofitel. | ||
| But what happened is I got picked. | ||
| I was raw. | ||
| About three months went by. | ||
| I went on a tour of North Dakota. | ||
| South Dakota, Minneapolis, where none of those Def Jam jokes worked. | ||
| So I started, like, getting polished a little bit, right? | ||
| So when I went to tape Def Jam, I did it, and I got... | ||
| I think seven applause breaks, but I didn't get the standing ovation. | ||
| And I remember when I got off stage, one comedian said, way to keep him seated. | ||
| And Russell walked right past me. | ||
| I just wanted him to see me. | ||
| So I knew I wasn't going to air, right? | ||
| Wait a minute, you got seven applause breaks and it wouldn't air? | ||
| Well, I got a note. | ||
| I got my first rejection letter saying, thank you so much, but you won't be airing. | ||
| They aired Rodman and they aired two other people. | ||
| And then, so I felt like shit, you know what I mean? | ||
| I was like, damn, am I black enough? | ||
| Like the whole black thing. | ||
| Like, damn, I'm not a part of Def Jam. | ||
| I want to be touring. | ||
| I can make those audiences laugh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| What I auditioned with, it was straight from Maryland. | ||
| Straight, just raw. | ||
| All bravado. | ||
| I wasn't talking about anything. | ||
| I went to these other cities and I was finding my style. | ||
| How many years had you been doing it at the time? | ||
| I started at 19, but I... You know, that's the college start. | ||
| But I think I started doing it full-time at 22, and I was probably 26, so maybe four years. | ||
| Arrogant, though. | ||
| Like, you know, if I was your feature act, I always kept a time clock. | ||
| Sometimes I would go long, but I was very proud of, like, if they said do 12, I would do 12. You know what I mean? | ||
| That kind of thing. | ||
| And I was getting standard ovations, but I wasn't talking about nothing. | ||
| And then I started doing these other states, and I was like, okay, fine. | ||
| Don't get it. | ||
| So my objection, I really needed Russell Simmons to like me. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He meant so much to the culture, and when he just didn't see me, I just was like, damn, years go by. | ||
| And the pain of it, like, diminishes, but it's still kind of in there. | ||
| But it's, you know, it's like a Marvel villain. | ||
| Like, I gotta... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I must... | ||
| But it kind of... | ||
| So then Russell has another show. | ||
| And... | ||
| I didn't even think I was going to get picked. | ||
| My only goal was just to make him laugh because he was at the audition. | ||
| It was in New York. | ||
| I was living in New York. | ||
| He was there and Stan Latham was there. | ||
| This is years later. | ||
| I found out. | ||
| I knew who I was. | ||
| I knew what I was coming to say. | ||
| I didn't know if it was going to match their show. | ||
| And what I'm saying is Def Jam prided itself on being raw. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And a new voice. | ||
| So I didn't fit what they were selling. | ||
| So then when I saw Russell and Stan, I do my act. | ||
| I see Russell grab his stomach and go over. | ||
| So I'm good. | ||
| If I get the show, I get it. | ||
| If I don't get it, I'm good. | ||
| I see Stan Lathan go. | ||
| I see them do the whisper. | ||
| I literally don't care if I get the show. | ||
| I did what I set out to do. | ||
| So all the other comics are staying back to schmooze and, hey man, like I left. | ||
| I left. | ||
| I ended up getting the show. | ||
| And this is the show now when Russell was sitting in the audience and there are comics sitting up there and I'm doing my act and I was talking about HBO Hung, that show about white dude with a big dick for real, that's what we're doing. | ||
| That's where we're at now. | ||
| And I did like the stereotype game and all this stuff. | ||
| And I did one joke and I remember Russell got up and gave me a pound in the middle of my set. | ||
| It was like a slow motion. | ||
| You could see all the comics. | ||
| So it was like the full circle of... | ||
| 24-year-old me, yeah, beat it. | ||
| And then 32, 34-year-old me, maybe? | ||
| Russell's like, yo, my man. | ||
| And then I would go, you know, and I was doing yoga with him for a little bit. | ||
| But we never hung. | ||
| It was just like, you know, it was just like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was just a full circle moment. | ||
| Did he call you and say, I'm giving you this month free yoga? | ||
| Was it a part of doing the show? | ||
| How did that happen? | ||
| No, he used to be at All Deaf. | ||
| He had All Deaf Digital. | ||
| So he moved here. | ||
| And I think I went there to pitch him something. | ||
| He was like, yo nigga, you do yoga? | ||
| You do yoga? | ||
| And he just gave me a month free. | ||
| And I was like, I'm going to take it. | ||
| And so every morning I would wake up and drive. | ||
| And I didn't know I was going to be in his class. | ||
| Like Usher Raymond would be in there. | ||
| He was flexible as hell. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Incredible. | |
| Yeah, like all these people would be in there. | ||
| Usher could fight. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Have you ever seen him train? | ||
| No. | ||
| Usher has videos online of him training at Black House, and he's legit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Like, he's a legit skilled fighter. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| Like, he's got, like, real good hands, he can throw kicks, everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He is probably the Kobe of R&B. Really? | ||
| I feel like he outworks everybody. | ||
| You know, when I saw him in yoga class, I was like, who else is doing this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, in your field, you know what I mean? | |
| Like, I don't know. | ||
| Yoga is something you don't get any credit for doing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because it's fucking hard as shit, but it seems like no big deal. | ||
| Like, if you say, oh, I ran seven miles today, people are like, whoa. | ||
| Yeah, that's impressive. | ||
| You say, I did yoga today, they're like, bitch ass, what you doing? | ||
| Bitch ass, stretching with some old ladies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, I... But it's real. | |
| I felt so good when I was doing it. | ||
| And I don't think I didn't tell anybody I was doing it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like my wife knew I was going. | ||
| But it's a personal thing. | ||
| It's like golf, right? | ||
| It's a personal... | ||
| It's just you against your body. | ||
| Russell, you give me tips. | ||
| You know, it's about breathing in difficult situations. | ||
| He would always say that. | ||
| I never forgot that. | ||
| It is about breathing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's about breathing. | ||
| That's what life is. | ||
| Life is going to give you difficult situations. | ||
| And if you don't remember to breathe, you're fucked. | ||
| That's kind of like the whole premise of it. | ||
| Well, I feel like we operate on a scale, and the least difficulty you have in your life, the more difficult it is to encounter real adversity. | ||
| So when you give yourself voluntary difficulty, so I volunteer to work out hard, I volunteer to do jujitsu, I volunteer to do yoga, I push myself to do these things. | ||
| When actual real-life difficulties come along, like, they're hard. | ||
| But there's never a time in life where it's as hard as a 90-minute yoga class. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You're sweating like crazy. | ||
| You barely can stand up. | ||
| Your feet are cramping. | ||
| Your legs are cramping. | ||
| Pouring sweat. | ||
| Pouring down on the mats. | ||
| I mean, it's temporary. | ||
| You know it's going to end in 40, 50 seconds, whatever the pose is. | ||
| But to just hang in there is so hard. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| That I think it prepares you for other things other than the loss of a loved one or something like that. | ||
| That's impossible to prepare yourself for. | ||
| But just bullshit stress. | ||
| Just regular life bullshit stress. | ||
| Yoga class makes that stuff look like nonsense. | ||
| If you're doing yoga on a regular basis... | ||
| Yeah, well, it was something... | ||
| I'm consistently inconsistent. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| But I'll go through a phase. | ||
| So before the Russell thing, I went to a hot Bikram class. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I do. | ||
| So I went to a hot Bikram class. | ||
| This is when I was single, so I was basically just following the asses. | ||
| I remember it was a big room, and everything was chilling. | ||
| I literally had never done this at all. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I just remember they closed all the windows, and they stopped the fans, and it started getting really hot. | ||
| And I was doing the poses. | ||
| And I was shaking. | ||
| And like you said, I was sweating profusely. | ||
| And the only thing I knew was it was supposed to be a place of no judgment that kept going. | ||
| It's your journey. | ||
| It's yoga practice. | ||
| No judgment. | ||
| The lady had the little mic thing. | ||
| And she came over to me and she covered it. | ||
| And she whispered to me, Are you alright? | ||
| I was like, I'm feeling judged. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, I'm really feeling judged right now. | |
| That's how awful I must have looked. | ||
| Like I couldn't. | ||
| And so I didn't really go back after that. | ||
| My ego was bruised a little bit. | ||
| And so I would do it at home sometimes. | ||
| Preparing to go back? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was trying to practice yoga, son, so I could not get judged. | |
| And when I left, the teacher was on the cover of the magazine in front. | ||
| I was like, damn. | ||
| Legit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But how she did it was so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She was like, are you all right? | |
| I was trying to show off of these girls, man. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| It's fucking hard, man. | ||
| And the reason why they ask you if you're alright is because sometimes people are not alright. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I've seen people almost black out where they have to lay down. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because it's 105 degrees in there. | ||
| And if you're not used to that kind of exercise in that kind of temperature, if you have, you know, if you're one of those people that just, that stuff gets to you and you can handle it. | ||
| You can pass out. | ||
| Yeah, you can legitimately pass out. | ||
| They don't need that. | ||
| I remember, did you remember Bally's gym? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I remember I used to live on Bally's at the bottom of the hill and I belonged to Bally's. | ||
| And I would go, you know, I went through a period, I'm going when it opens. | ||
| And so I went, I think it opened at 6 maybe. | ||
| Damn, you were a 6 o'clock in the morning guy. | ||
| I did that for a minute. | ||
| Get there. | ||
| It's a line. | ||
| I said, how come we can't go in? | ||
| And this lady's like, somebody's dead in the pool. | ||
| It was a dead body like floating in the valleys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And then I never forget this other lady goes, at least he got out his contract. | ||
|
unidentified
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Like, not even gave him a second to, like, no moment of silence. | |
| Because Baddies was notorious for not letting you out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At least he got out his contract. | ||
| And then everybody still waited. | ||
| Well, 24-Hour Fitness is the weirdest one. | ||
| They let you sign up for, like, 10 years for, like, a dollar a week. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hilarious. | |
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| They know you're not coming. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll help you with your goals. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Yeah, you're going to get fit. | ||
| You're going to get jacked. | ||
| We're going to get ripped like Bobby over here. | ||
| Look at Bobby. | ||
| Bobby shows up every day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And you're like, wow, I'm going to be like Bobby. | ||
| And then you just start eating chips, drinking soda, never show up. | ||
| I wonder, like, what are the percentages? | ||
| I wonder if we could find this. | ||
| What are the percentages of members in 24 hours, 24-hour fitness, that actually go on a regular basis? | ||
| I bet. | ||
| That's a great hustle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They wouldn't share that. | |
| They wouldn't share it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way. | |
| You're probably right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No way. | ||
| Because then people would go, why am I signing up for that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a great hustle, man. | ||
| I had a 24-hour fitness for a moment, and then I would go, and it would be so crowded, I would just go home. | ||
| Sometimes it's real crowded. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I can't even do anything. | ||
| Then some of them, you couldn't use all of them, too. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Oh, you don't have that membership. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Equinox is like that, too. | ||
| I did Equinox for a second. | ||
| This is a 24-hour club sport. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I did Equinox for a second. | ||
| I got to play basketball with Magic. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he was in there working out every morning. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This one I was on Arsenio, too. | ||
| So he'd just play a pickup game with people? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| He would shoot around, and I just kind of like... | ||
| Made myself available on the court. | ||
| I'm just there. | ||
| When the ball went through the rim, I went and got the rebound. | ||
| I gave it to him. | ||
| And he shot another one. | ||
| I got the rebound. | ||
|
unidentified
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I go, I always wanted the rebound for you. | |
| And then I gave him a pass. | ||
| And he did the classic hook. | ||
| And he goes, and now you got an assist. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Because a lot of basketball players would come up there. | ||
| And I would look at them like, man, I'm glad I couldn't. | ||
| Magic is huge, man. | ||
| Have you seen him in person? | ||
| No. | ||
| He's huge. | ||
| And I'm 6'5". | ||
| But his back is like... | ||
| I had hoop dreams until I played against Grand Hill in high school. | ||
| Grand Hill was 6'9". | ||
| And it was a Christmas tournament. | ||
| And my mom was there. | ||
| And my girlfriend at the time. | ||
| Shout out to... | ||
| I'm married now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But anyway. | |
| My girlfriend at the time was there. | ||
| And... | ||
| I had a rah-rah section. | ||
| We were the home team, and Grant Hill comes in, and my coach had me check him. | ||
| And I never... | ||
| I guarantee you he won't remember this. | ||
| But... | ||
| It's this thing called a crossover, right? | ||
| And most people, if you cross over, I'm still in front of you. | ||
| Grant was so long when he did put the ball from this hand to this hand, I had to literally slide two steps. | ||
| And then when he went back, I had to slide back two steps. | ||
| And when he went up here, there was no way I could get up there. | ||
| And so I told my girlfriend, yo, go home. | ||
| Like, y'all don't need to see this. | ||
| He scored like 60 points. | ||
| He was shooting from half court. | ||
| Like, he just looked at us like... | ||
| I was like... | ||
| I'm going to do well in school. | ||
| That's a fascinating thing when you see someone who's a world-class athlete at the beginning of their journey. | ||
| This is in high school? | ||
| High school. | ||
| Yeah, beginning of their journey. | ||
| Because he's really just becoming a man. | ||
| He's not even really a man yet. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| But you see, already, they have that jump. | ||
| I'm sure Jordan was like that. | ||
| Wasn't Jordan who didn't make his high school team? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Who cut him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
God! | |
| Yeah, you know that coach had to, when he went home that night, had to talk to his wife like, I think I made a terrible mistake. | ||
| But he probably didn't realize it because at the time, Jordan probably, well Jordan is not the biggest guy in the world either, right? | ||
| How tall is he? | ||
| Is he 6'4"? | ||
| He's 6'6". | ||
| 6'6". | ||
| 6'6". | ||
| But compared to some of those giants, like when you're standing there, Shaq is the most ridiculous human being I've ever met. | ||
| He's incredibly tall, yeah. | ||
| His hands are as big as his table. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| They just reach out and just swallow your arm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's so big. | ||
| He lives in my neighborhood. | ||
| A word? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I did a commercial with him. | ||
| It never aired. | ||
| We did like a series of spots. | ||
| And he was like a big kid, man. | ||
| He was so fun. | ||
| He's a fun guy. | ||
| I did Fear Factor with him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You did? | |
| He did a whole episode with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Where he came in, because we did it in Orlando. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He was a fan, so he brought his whole family down. | ||
| He had a bus. | ||
| He brought a tour bus to hang out in. | ||
| He's so fun, man. | ||
| And then he did the thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three, two, one, go! | |
| And I'm standing next to him like a little six-year-old with my dad. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| But yeah, there's people that are just different, man. | ||
| They're just different level athletes. | ||
| And I bet Jordan, as good as he was, he needed that rejection to turn that burner on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To make him Jordan. | ||
| Yeah, to make him focus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's always going to be a story, that he was cut from his high school basketball team. | ||
| I think he brought it up in his Hall of Fame speech. | ||
| I think so, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I love that. | |
| The Hall of Fame speech when he kept shitting on all his different writers. | ||
| He remembered all of them. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| Like, bro, you're Michael Jordan. | ||
| Why are you even bringing these guys up? | ||
| Nobody even cares. | ||
| Wouldn't let it go. | ||
| But that's why he's so great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That burning fire. | ||
| They would say that if you beat him at pool, he would hate you for two weeks until he'd play you again. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| He used to have a pool tournament that he would do in Chicago every year, and it was for charity. | ||
| So he'd have all these celebrities come and play pool with them. | ||
| But, you know, he wasn't a good pool player. | ||
| He was like, it was okay. | ||
| But there's like real pool players out there. | ||
| They'll fuck you up. | ||
| And if he got beat, he would be furious, apparently. | ||
| He just couldn't handle it. | ||
| But that's the case with everyone who's great at something. | ||
| They don't want to lose that shit. | ||
| They don't want to lose that backgammon, Parcheesi, you know. | ||
| Is that healthy at a certain point? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| It's like, yo, Mike, turn that off, man. | ||
| It's so unhealthy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's so unhealthy, but that's what makes them great. | ||
| It's like, there's a pro and a con to everything, you know? | ||
| I have this saying that I've always said, that greatness and madness are next-door neighbors, and they borrow each other's sugar. | ||
| You can't be great unless you're a little crazy. | ||
| And if you can't be the best ever, unless you're out of your fucking mind. | ||
| And Jordan, when you see him in that... | ||
| That speech when he's talking about the Hall of Fame, when he's talking about getting inducted and all the people that are wrong, all the people that... | ||
| He's angry still. | ||
| I mean, he's a crazy person. | ||
| This is one of your great highlights as recognized the greatest basketball player of all time. | ||
| Think about how many people have played basketball. | ||
| Millions of people all over this country and millions of people around the world. | ||
| There's one guy. | ||
| Everybody says, who's the greatest basketball player? | ||
| It's Michael motherfucking Jordan, right? | ||
| I mean, you've got your other people. | ||
| You've got your dissenters who say, well, I think LeBron's better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have a theory. | |
| I have a theory about that. | ||
| I have a theory about that. | ||
| So here's my thing. | ||
| I feel like that's the wrong narrative. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
So here's... | |
| My friend and I, we were talking about what is greatness, right? | ||
| Greatness is clearly the numbers and the accolades and the wins, but greatness is also... | ||
| Being able to overcome great difficulty and still perform. | ||
| And so adding that into the formula, I feel like out of everyone that's a part of the conversation, LeBron is the only one who never met his dad. | ||
| Jordan knew his dad. | ||
| Kobe, rest in peace, his dad played in the NBA. Magic knew his dad. | ||
| Kareem knew his dad. | ||
| It's a thing. | ||
| LeBron, tallest dude in Akron, walking around every day. | ||
| You see another tall dude, he had to be like, Dad? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Just mentally, who taught him the game? | ||
| Jordan had these great teachers and all that. | ||
| So I feel like the question should be, Michael Jordan is clearly the greatest of all time with two parents. | ||
| But with one parent, LeBron is the greatest and Kevin Durant is like a... | ||
| That's an interesting way of looking at it. | ||
| Just because it's different starting lines. | ||
| But there's so many different variables that take place in your life from birth to death to just isolate one factor, like not having a father. | ||
| Well, but I mean, it's like... | ||
| Jordan talked about when he got cut from his team, his dad was the one who pushed him. | ||
| He was his greatest motivator. | ||
| He had that. | ||
| Who was doing that for LeBron? | ||
| Who taught him the game? | ||
| Jordan went to NC State where Dean Smith was one of the greatest. | ||
| Everyone talks about Jordan's fundamentals. | ||
| Where did LeBron learn this from? | ||
| Who was teaching them this stuff? | ||
| And so it's just a different space. | ||
| And I relate to LeBron because I was raised by a single mom. | ||
| So I recognize myself more in him than in Jordan. | ||
| It's a very nuanced thing. | ||
| But I feel like when people go, who's the greatest? | ||
| I'm like, man, I do have two parents. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| But what about motivation? | ||
| The thing about having two parents versus one, is there something about having one parent that gives you this insane motivation to drive, this drive to succeed? | ||
| That's a factor in a lot of people. | ||
| That was a factor in me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Growing up because I didn't grow up with my dad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, you didn't? | ||
| Not knowing my dad. | ||
| I talked to my dad since I was seven years old. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So that and the fact that I knew him up until I was six and then didn't talk to him for the rest of my life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That fucked with me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And there's a part of that. | ||
| There's a part of that. | ||
| That would make you like, I'll show you motherfuckers. | ||
| Like, you guys don't think I'm worth anything? | ||
| I'll show you. | ||
| Like, there's something that, like, Mike Tyson had that. | ||
| Like, a lot of people had that. | ||
| A lot of great athletes had terrible upbringings. | ||
| And it's almost a positive factor. | ||
| You know, you could say that Jordan's dad was a positive factor, and that can work as well. | ||
| But also, sometimes it can be a positive factor to be ignored. | ||
| Having a difficult childhood can actually be a positive factor. | ||
| Oh, definitely. | ||
| I mean, look, LeBron's a billionaire. | ||
| Clearly, it was a positive factor. | ||
| It worked out. | ||
| Definitely, it worked out. | ||
| I'm just saying, in the debate of who's the greatest, it's like, there's two different ways that could go. | ||
| But it's also like, they're playing in different eras. | ||
| Did you see the Tyson Fury, Deontay Wilder fight? | ||
| I saw clips. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holy shit. | |
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| Were you there? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I watched it at home. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| How big is Fury though? | ||
| 6'7". | ||
| Almost 300 pounds? | ||
| No, 6'9". | ||
| Deontay's 6'7", Fury's 6'9". | ||
| 6'9", 270 pounds. | ||
| He said he figured out in the first fight that Deontay, in the 12th round, he started backing Deontay up. | ||
| Deontay can't fight backing up. | ||
| Because Deontay is a guy who pushes forward, and he's got this ridiculous power. | ||
| And everybody's scared of his power, so everybody's moving all the time. | ||
| And Fury realized in the 12th round, after Deontay knocked him down, almost knocked him out, he got up and started chasing Deontay, and Deontay fought Sloppy. | ||
| He said he looked awkward. | ||
| He said his footwork didn't look so good. | ||
| Technique. | ||
| Deontay's known as being this guy who's got an eraser. | ||
| His right hand's like an eraser. | ||
| All the mistakes. | ||
| Teddy Atlas put it this way. | ||
| All the mistakes of the previous rounds all get erased with one punch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blah! | |
| He just shuts people's lights out. | ||
| And he has that confidence that he has that eraser power. | ||
| But with Tyson Fury, you realize, look, Tyson doesn't fight that way. | ||
| Tyson Fury fights on his toes. | ||
| He sticks and moves. | ||
| He does a lot of head movement and a lot of shucking and jiving. | ||
| It makes it very difficult for you to figure out what he's doing. | ||
| Like, is he going here? | ||
| Is he going there? | ||
| Is he moving? | ||
| Is he jabbing? | ||
| He'll come at you like this with two, three fake jabs, then a jab at a right hand. | ||
| He'll throw a right hand to the body, then he'll throw a left uppercut, he'll step to the side of you, he'll throw a right hand, he'll move out of the way, he'll pop you with a jab as he's moving away. | ||
| He's like a very technical, like really sophisticated boxer. | ||
| If you look at the movement that he does, for someone as big as him, it's really kind of crazy. | ||
| And it's not that he couldn't step forward and smash people and knock people out. | ||
| It's just he knows the sweet science. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know, he knows the sweet science. | ||
| But then he realized for this fight, he had to fight a different way. | ||
| To shock Deontay, he had to come at Deontay, full blast, get in his face from the jump. | ||
| And that's exactly what he did. | ||
| He also changed trainers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have heavy jabs. | ||
| They don't touch you with a jab. | ||
| They're smashing with a jab. | ||
| Big power in the right hand. | ||
| Like, Kronk was an attacking, aggressive style. | ||
| Like, they were all known. | ||
| Like, they would wear those Kronk shorts, those yellow golden shorts. | ||
| You saw a guy with Kronk shorts on, that motherfucker came to kill you. | ||
| They fought in the gym. | ||
| Emanuel Stewart would turn the heat up to 100 degrees. | ||
| So when they were doing, they were doing like hot yoga in the fucking cronk gym. | ||
| Because he wanted to build up endurance in these guys. | ||
| So when you would go into the cronk gym in Detroit, it was hot as fuck. | ||
| Like really hot. | ||
| And that's how he would force everybody to train, under extreme duress. | ||
| He was an amazing, amazing trainer. | ||
| He's the guy who rejuvenated Vladimir Klitschko. | ||
| When Vladimir Klitschko was falling apart, because he had gotten KO'd a few times, He didn't have an American style. | ||
| He had this sort of straight-up European style, and Emanuel Stewart just shifted his style and just made him concentrate on utilizing that long reach and the big power, that long jab. | ||
| When Tyson Fury went with a Kronk trainer for this, he was dead serious. | ||
| He was going for seek and destroy. | ||
| He told everybody that's what he was going to do, too. | ||
| But nobody believed him. | ||
| Everybody thought it was just a hustle. | ||
| Like him saying, I'm going to knock out Deontay Wilder. | ||
| I'm going to come after him. | ||
| I'm going to knock him out in two rounds. | ||
| Everybody's like, you're out of your fucking mind. | ||
| Even Deontay was like, you don't believe a word you're saying. | ||
| You're just talking. | ||
| You're not going to try to knock me out. | ||
| That's exactly what he did. | ||
| He figured out the puzzle. | ||
| He figured out the puzzle in the 12th round of the first fight. | ||
| He just realized when he had him backing up, he's like, oh, this guy stumbles on his feet. | ||
| He gets all awkward and you got him backing up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he just stuck to him like glue. | ||
| He took that L. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. | ||
| I want to start fighting, man. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| My son needs to know... | ||
| I want to talk to you about... | ||
| First, I want to thank you because you've been very kind about just promoting my stand-up on this platform. | ||
| Oh, you're welcome, dude. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| You don't make any sense to me. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You are one of the best comics in the world. | ||
| And the fact that people don't know who you are, you should be filling arenas. | ||
| So this is what I'm doing. | ||
| I made something, and I want to give it to your viewers so they can watch it and judge for themselves. | ||
| If they just go to textowen.com. | ||
| Textowen.com. | ||
| Textowen.com. | ||
| I'll send you some never-before-seen stand-up of mine. | ||
| If you fuck with it, then we see what happens. | ||
| I'll check back with you a little bit later. | ||
| Oh, there we go. | ||
| Yeah, you go to that. | ||
| You're doing the Improv With Me Wednesday, right? | ||
| I am. | ||
| Late show. | ||
| This Wednesday. | ||
| Late show. | ||
| Yeah, come hit me with that. | ||
| I'll text you back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beautiful. | |
| And then after this podcast, see how many people, whatever, and I'm going to send you some never-before-seen stand-up. | ||
| If you haven't seen me, not familiar with me. | ||
| Dude, it's going to break your phone. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| That's my prayer. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because you don't understand your kind words, how it's affected my life in a great way. | ||
| I felt like Vladimir Klitschko, basically, as far as comedy is concerned. | ||
| And then when you would be like... | ||
| Dude, I'm like, for real? | ||
| Well, it doesn't make sense to me. | ||
| I know great comics, you know. | ||
| Most comics, when they get to your level, they're famous. | ||
| They're famous for being really great comics. | ||
| Well, I see you on stage. | ||
| I was watching the last time we worked together, and I forget who I was standing in the back of the room talking to, but I was like, this doesn't even make any sense. | ||
| I mean, he's so good. | ||
| He should be headlining arenas. | ||
| That's my goal, yeah. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Your comedy is so polished. | ||
| And I was talking to Tony about it. | ||
| Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| We were in the back watching once. | ||
| I was like, look how economy of words. | ||
| You use just the right amount of words. | ||
| You have to fill in the blank. | ||
| You make people fill in the blank sometimes and it makes things even funnier. | ||
| Like, that's all black belt shit, man. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| You just spent so much time writing, you know, and writing for sitcoms and writing for movies, and I know it's been very lucrative for you, and it's great, and, you know, you're a great writer, there's no question about it, but you're a world-class stand-up. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Thank you, thank you, everybody. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Go to texton.com. | ||
| I'm serious, man, because it's like... | ||
| You know how the business changed, and I thought that if you just had quality work, that it would... | ||
| And then it just changed to something that I... The TV shit all went away. | ||
| It all went away. | ||
| And so we'll see. | ||
| We'll see. | ||
| I'm putting myself out there. | ||
| Well, you've got to get a special. | ||
| That's all it's going to take for you. | ||
| On a platform that people watch. | ||
| Netflix, someone's going to step up. | ||
| Yeah, that would be great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we'll see. | ||
| But I just wanted to thank you. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| We'll see what happens. | ||
| Yeah, break my phone, y'all. | ||
| I want to experience that. | ||
| Because Comedy Central is great. | ||
| I owe them a debt of gratitude. | ||
| They put my special out in 2014 and 2009. But the reality is it's just not the same anymore. | ||
| People aren't watching it like they used to watch it. | ||
| Yeah, they lost the public trust somewhere. | ||
| Yeah, well, they put out a lot of bullshit shows. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| They're micromanaging things. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are scared of anything controversial. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody told me they fired a lot of people over there, but you know, you hear that. | ||
| We'll see. | ||
| We'll see what's happening next. | ||
| Listen, they passed on Kyle Dunnigan's show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Kyle Dunn again. | ||
| That fucking shit that he does with Face Swap is the funniest shit on Instagram. | ||
| He is the funniest man on Instagram. | ||
| And there's a lot of funny shit on Instagram. | ||
| But his shit makes me cry. | ||
| I cry sometimes watching his stuff. | ||
| He's so talented. | ||
| He's a talented, creative guy, and the fact that they didn't pick that show up, but I knew they were fucking it up already because he showed me this one clip. | ||
| It was Caitlyn, you know, he does everything with face swaps, right? | ||
| He had Caitlyn Jenner on top of Donald Trump, fucking Donald Trump, and it was hilarious, man. | ||
| He shows it to me in the back room of the main room. | ||
| I'm crying. | ||
| Tears are coming down my eyes. | ||
| We're laughing so hard. | ||
| He goes, and get this. | ||
| Comedy Central passed on that. | ||
| I go, what? | ||
| I know. | ||
| He said, we can't do that one. | ||
| They said, we can't do that one. | ||
| It's too controversial. | ||
| I go, controversial? | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everything you do is controversial. | ||
| But it's so obvious that it's fake. | ||
| It's funny because it's fake. | ||
| It's like South Park. | ||
| Like, you fucking dummies! | ||
| What is your most successful show? | ||
| South Park! | ||
| What does that show do? | ||
| They don't give a fuck! | ||
| They go all out! | ||
| South Park has no boundaries! | ||
| And it's one of the reasons why it's the greatest comedy show ever! | ||
| Yo man, you... | ||
| That's the thing about creating and depending on invisible people to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Because you don't know where the no's coming from. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like what you just said is an impassioned argument. | ||
| If you could sit down with the decision maker and go and just talk about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Maybe his show would have gone, but you don't know who anybody is. | ||
| You write it. | ||
| You just go, this is good. | ||
| It's so hard because there's the people that are watching it and then judging whether or not they're going to put it on television. | ||
| First of all, they're not creative people. | ||
| If they were, they would be doing what you're doing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're executives. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they think they're smart. | ||
| They think they understand comedy, and they also don't want to get fired, and they also don't want to get in trouble, and they also want to sell ads. | ||
| There's so much fuckery going on. | ||
| Yeah, you know what I wish I knew? | ||
| I wish I knew what their, they call it mandates, like what their mandates are, or what they're dealing with. | ||
| Just so that... | ||
| Because you get excited about something and you push and you go, this is what I want to do. | ||
| And it is... | ||
| Sometimes you go, oh man, I don't think they're considering the actual audience sometimes. | ||
| So I don't... | ||
| But I... I don't know what they're... | ||
| Considering, you know? | ||
| And it can drive you crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It can drive you crazy. | |
| They're also seriously worried about woke culture. | ||
| They want to make sure, like, I've had friends that wanted to pitch things, and they're like, where's the diversity? | ||
| You know? | ||
| We need a trans, biracial woman in this. | ||
| We need this. | ||
| We need that. | ||
| Like, hey, just concentrate on making it good. | ||
| Make it great. | ||
| Just make it good. | ||
| You know, I think your diversity should be everybody who's good. | ||
| Find people who are good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't... | |
| Don't exclude them because they're gay or trans or whatever, but don't include them because they are if they're not talented, because that's not good. | ||
| You just need good. | ||
| You know, it would be nice if it was easy for all those people of all different backgrounds to get up in stand-up comedy clubs and then get their career going. | ||
| And I don't know any situation. | ||
| I mean, I'm so far removed from open mics, it's hard for me to even talk about it anymore. | ||
| We should do one. | ||
| We should. | ||
| We should do one. | ||
| We should. | ||
| Just new shit. | ||
| Let's film it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Only do new shit. | |
| Hey, whatever happened to that thing we did with the notebooks? | ||
| That was hilarious. | ||
| I couldn't believe I found those. | ||
| Dude, it was great. | ||
| I was thinking of giving that to people when they text Owen.com. | ||
| So, I shot... | ||
| Six edited four and took it around town. | ||
| A lot of people didn't get it. | ||
| A lot of no's. | ||
| The people who loved it the most was All Things Comedy. | ||
| And they were like, we want to take this out. | ||
| But I was partnered with somebody at the time. | ||
| I had a manager at the time that they didn't connect with, so it kind of went away. | ||
| My wife, we were just talking about this. | ||
| This should be on TV. It's such a clean, simple, fun idea. | ||
| Well, it should be on YouTube. | ||
| It should be, yeah. | ||
| That was my initial plan. | ||
| My initial plan was to put it on YouTube. | ||
| Why don't you put it on YouTube now? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just... | ||
| Does somebody else own it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, we. | |
| It's all me. | ||
| It's all me on my IP. Put it on YouTube. | ||
| Alright, I'll put it on YouTube. | ||
| Put it on YouTube. | ||
| Will you support it or tag it or something? | ||
| I don't know how that stuff works, man. | ||
| I'll do all that shit. | ||
| You're like a genius back there. | ||
| You don't understand, man. | ||
| I'm so afraid of... | ||
| I'm not afraid of no. | ||
| I just got to get the first gut punch and then I'll keep going. | ||
| You understand what I'm saying? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Something weird happened, man. | ||
| My younger self... | ||
| Everything people are doing on Instagram, I did when I was 18, 19, 20. Then you get a little bit older, you're like, what's this tape? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| That's how I feel about TikTok. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| So when this idea came to me, I thought... | ||
| I think his name is Chase Jarvis. | ||
| I was looking at Chase Jarvis. | ||
| I never heard of this guy, but I used to watch his interviews, and he was always sponsored by something very cool. | ||
| He's a photographer, and he had his own show. | ||
| We shot it in his home, and he would only average like 50,000 views. | ||
| I'm like, how is this guy doing? | ||
| But I thought Notebooks could be something like that that would speak to comedy fans. | ||
| But my whole intention was to... | ||
| Because I felt like stand-up was being homogenized. | ||
| Because when you would just do some of these shows, the set was built and you would just stand there and perform. | ||
| But it was no way of an audience member to go, I want to follow this guy. | ||
| I want to come see this woman or this guy live. | ||
| So I thought Notebooks... | ||
| The show we're talking about is called Notebooks and it's basically... | ||
| The one thing comics never throw away is their old notebooks. | ||
| So I sat down with Joe. | ||
| I sat down with some other comics. | ||
| I couldn't believe I found those. | ||
| Wasn't it fun, man? | ||
| And you start going through it. | ||
| You watch Joe go back to where he was when he was performing it. | ||
| I could see it on your face. | ||
| I could see you remembering where you wrote this stuff, where you came up with it. | ||
| And it's just... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It just shows that this isn't... | ||
| We make it look easy, but it shows the journey. | ||
| It's also a way of appreciating. | ||
| Because sometimes we're hard on ourselves. | ||
| It's like, damn, man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And there's funny stories where you're like, I thought this bit was going to make me. | ||
| This was going to shut it down. | ||
| This was my bring the pain, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This is my bring the pain. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| I mean, it's just... | ||
| And because... | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because I can listen to a comedian and tell how long they've been doing it, you know? | ||
| And I wanted to... | ||
| I got to this place where I don't believe anybody... | ||
| Sucks. | ||
| I just believe they haven't found it yet. | ||
| And I'm interested in like... | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| There's some people that suck. | ||
| I didn't even say that! | ||
| Don't get confused. | ||
| You can't grow plants in the sand. | ||
| You just did yoga today, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't matter. | ||
| There's a reality of... | ||
| There's a reality. | ||
| There's a reality. | ||
| But I mean, we got into this space where now... | ||
| People post everything online, so you're watching them. | ||
| I have videos of me in San Antonio, Texas in 1996. Not great, but it's on a VHS tape in my basement. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| People are watching you grow. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But now, that would be on YouTube, and people would be like... | ||
| So when I did hit, some people would be like, man, I can't stand Owen from something that they saw. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It was like, I was figuring it out, man. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| I thought fart jokes were funny, and I did them, you know? | ||
| You can't worry about that, though. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You just got to worry about what you're doing right now. | ||
| Yeah, so I'm going to put it out. | ||
| You can never worry about what you did. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I'm going to put it on a notebook. | ||
| I'm going to put notebooks out on YouTube. | ||
| Yeah, definitely. | ||
| I found some shit from 1991. Right. | ||
| It was fantastic. | ||
| That was crazy. | ||
| So terrible. | ||
| The writing was so bad. | ||
| It was great, but that's what was crazy about it. | ||
| And you were embarrassed when you were reading it. | ||
| It was fantastic. | ||
| I hadn't read it. | ||
| I knew I had it, so I grabbed it and I brought it to you. | ||
| But I hadn't looked at it before you and I were sitting there. | ||
| That's the point. | ||
| Yeah, so when I was going through it, I was like, oh my god, this is so bad. | ||
| Thinking about my 23-year-old self writing jokes. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| And sometimes you find a gem where you go, damn. | ||
| That might be good. | ||
| You know, some bitch you bailed on. | ||
| You're it now. | ||
| So I know how to make this work. | ||
| We had some people connect with that. | ||
| And what I love about it is comics aren't burning material. | ||
| So I feel like everyone... | ||
| I mean, I prefer to have somebody that's, you know, gotten their 10,000 hours in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And so we can have, like, you know, those stories. | ||
| And it's just an interesting way in. | ||
| I loved it. | ||
| I loved it so much. | ||
| But my initial, my point is, I was like, I want to do this for YouTube. | ||
| But then I was like, man, maybe there's a televised play for this. | ||
| And three years later... | ||
| Yeah, I think nothing's worth bringing to TV anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just not worth it anymore. | ||
| You're going to deal with too many people. | ||
| You don't need to deal with them. | ||
| They're not going to have good things. | ||
| Half the people, and this is generous, Half the people that you deal with that are executives really don't give a fuck about anything other than their mortgage or their car or their career or getting respect or office politics. | ||
| They might be working at Comedy Central. | ||
| They could easily be working at the History Channel or easily working at some other fucking network. | ||
| They're just TV network people. | ||
| Here I am trying to create a platform for some of my friends. | ||
| I feel like, why don't you have a following? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I'm like, if people just saw your work ethic, like how you write your jokes, people would be like, I like you now. | ||
| I understand what this is. | ||
| And I felt that that's what was missing from all these specials where people just stand in a spot and everybody has the same background. | ||
| They just changed the name. | ||
| No shade on that, but it's like very few people were popping off that. | ||
| And so much so, people thought I had one of those. | ||
| Did I ever tell you my Comedy Central story? | ||
| No. | ||
| So, okay. | ||
| So, I'm going to name check some people on here, but I literally, but I'm not doing it for, it's all good. | ||
| Like, I learned a lot from this experience. | ||
| So, George Carlin was performing at Homosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club. | ||
| I go down and watch George Carlin perform. | ||
| This would be his last special. | ||
| At the time, Kimber Rickenball, who was Rick Mill Productions, she comes over to me and she goes, why don't we have a half hour on you? | ||
| And I go, I don't know. | ||
| She gives me her card and she says, give me 21 minutes and we'll make it happen. | ||
| Or she alluded to that it would happen. | ||
| And so I'm standing next to the guy who books Hamosa Beach. | ||
| And I go, yo, can I get 21 minutes? | ||
| He's like, no, I can't. | ||
| I could just give you seven, eight minutes. | ||
| So I had to do like three, seven minutes in pieces together. | ||
| I went to the improv. | ||
| Can I get 21 minutes? | ||
| I went to the Laugh Factory. | ||
| Can I get 21 minutes? | ||
| I got this card. | ||
| No one would give me 21 minutes. | ||
| And so I had to go out of town. | ||
| I think I went to Chicago somewhere, taped it. | ||
| At the time, I'm writing on Everybody Hates Chris. | ||
| Dave Becky and Michael Rotenberg managed Chris Rock at the time. | ||
| And they were also producers on the show. | ||
| So they would come down. | ||
| Once a month and sit in Video Village and just, you know, and so I was politicking. | ||
| I go, man, if I can get Dave Becky to contact Kimba Rickenball, maybe I can get with Three Yards because I had no manager in Three Yards. | ||
| Sexy, you know, management name. | ||
| And so... | ||
| Ali Leroy, the showrunner, was also managed by Three Yards. | ||
| He was kind enough. | ||
| He was just like, he just did like this to Dave. | ||
| Yo, man, listen to this motherfucker. | ||
| And then just kept like shooting. | ||
| So I was like, Dave, Mr. Becky, what's up, man? | ||
| Kimba Rickenball gave me the card, said if I can give her 21 minutes, you know, it's probable I'll get a half hour special. | ||
| I was wondering if I could do that through you. | ||
| And he goes, say no more. | ||
| I rep Kimber Rickenball. | ||
| Done. | ||
| So at that time, I booked a lot of colleges. | ||
| So I am on cloud nine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I go, yo, I'm about to get a half hour special. | |
| I had a gig for a college. | ||
| That night. | ||
| So I catch the red eye to Iowa, right? | ||
| Ames, Iowa. | ||
| I'm performing in Ames, Iowa. | ||
| Get to the hotel room the next morning. | ||
| Phone call on my cell phone. | ||
| It's Dave, Becky. | ||
| I'm corny. | ||
| I go, this is going to be the start of us doing this a lot. | ||
| You know what I'm going to do? | ||
| He just cut that shit off. | ||
| Yeah, Owen, talk to Kimber. | ||
| And she says she never heard of you. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| I thought, I was like, you hazing me, right? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Sorry, man. | ||
| Good luck, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Talk to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boop. | |
| Hung up. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| And it never dawned on me to call Kimber and be like, hey. | ||
| Like, I was so floored by that. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah, it was like a gut punch. | ||
| And then, check this out. | ||
| I show up at the college. | ||
| I was... | ||
| I didn't have a college gig. | ||
| The contract wasn't finalized. | ||
| So I flew to Iowa for nothing. | ||
| Lost money, rent a car, hotel, da-da-da. | ||
| I had to drag my dumb tail back to LA. No special on the ride. | ||
| And again, I didn't even... | ||
| You never contacted her? | ||
| I didn't even know, like... | ||
| And that's why I said I could say her name because I never did that part, right? | ||
| So, like... | ||
| Maybe I could have called him and, hey, da-da-da. | ||
| She'd be like, oh my God, so sorry. | ||
| I didn't even think that. | ||
| I went into, I was having like a pity party on the set of Everybody's Chris. | ||
| Ernest Thomas tells me, man, don't wait on Hollywood to give you permission to be great. | ||
| And that's why I shot my first special. | ||
| I took all my college money. | ||
| Did all that instead of just calling this woman like, hey, uh... | ||
| Something weird. | ||
| And so that's how I ended up shooting the first special of Anonymous. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| She said she didn't even know you. | ||
| I never heard of him. | ||
| But meanwhile, you had her card. | ||
| Had it and didn't use it. | ||
| That's why it's not... | ||
| I don't feel like it's shade on her. | ||
| It's like I'm talking about and if there's any comments this and like yo call them like you know me like I'm just Sometimes it's part of that world and not being all in and stand up and being in that writing world. | ||
| Yeah, that's true That's Ian too. | ||
| Ian Edwards, I've been saying the same shit to him forever. | ||
| I'm like, you gotta stop taking those jobs, man. | ||
| You're too good. | ||
| You're too good. | ||
| Ian Edwards and I, we started out together, man. | ||
| I've known Ian for 20 years. | ||
| He's 27, 28 years. | ||
| I've known him forever. | ||
| Dude, forever. | ||
| Ian and I used to do Boston comedy in New York City in the village. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Back in the day. | ||
| Dreadlock Ian. | ||
| I remember I'd seen him on Def Jam. | ||
| Before he went vegan. | ||
| Yeah, before he went vegan, he used to yell. | ||
| He'd calm down when he went vegan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
AT&T! Angry Ian. | |
| I remember I saw him and he was the coolest to me. | ||
| I was like, yo, man, you're a comedian. | ||
| I'm a comedian. | ||
| He was like, what you doing now? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Come with me. | ||
| And he took me to like a general meeting that he had. | ||
| And then we went to two sets. | ||
| And I'll never forget. | ||
| I'll never forget. | ||
| He performed in like a white room. | ||
| It was crushing. | ||
| And I said to him, hey, man, that was amazing. | ||
| It was great. | ||
| He goes, I didn't trust him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn it. | |
| Laughing way too hard. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Laughing too hard! | ||
| Yo, I never heard that before. | ||
| I never heard that before. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| That was a go! | ||
| You didn't trust him. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, but he was so kind to me that it's like... | ||
| Just showing that generosity in a space where he didn't have to. | ||
| He's a classic human. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love that dude to death. | ||
| I always take pictures of him every time he falls asleep because, you know, he's vegan. | ||
| Oh, he's tired. | ||
| So we get on a plane together. | ||
| And I don't mean there's vegans out there that are eating well. | ||
| He does not. | ||
| He just eats vegan, but that means all it is is a piece of bread. | ||
| He'll eat a piece of bread. | ||
| He'll eat some rice. | ||
| He doesn't get all his nutrients. | ||
| He just doesn't. | ||
| He doesn't exercise either, but whenever we're on a plane, that motherfucker passes out. | ||
| So I take all these pictures of him every time we go on the road together. | ||
| He's sitting next to me. | ||
| Every time he passes out, we're like, we're on the runway. | ||
| This dude is nodded out. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Then he got me. | ||
| He got me recently. | ||
| He got me. | ||
| It's just giant smile. | ||
| I've never seen him smile that well. | ||
| Do you see the video of it? | ||
| There's a video of it on Instagram. | ||
| He got me and he's just got this huge smile and I'm out cold and he's sitting next to me and now every time I fly with him I'm scared of blacking out. | ||
| I'm scared of falling asleep. | ||
| He's gonna Get a video of me. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I woke up, like he was asleep, I woke up next to me and he was asleep and I was asleep and I wonder if he filmed me while I was asleep before he went to sleep. | ||
| That's the funnest shit when it's like that. | ||
| It's like spy versus spy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Hello, Joe. | ||
| Yeah, but dude, the video of him hovering over me while I'm out cold is one of the fun... | ||
| Oh, I gotta see it. | ||
| I never laugh so hard. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| I landed and I checked my Instagram and I saw that and I just started fucking howling. | ||
| Man. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| I wish you could... | ||
| One time I was giving him smoothie recipes because he was asking about that stuff and... | ||
| Ian is like incredibly frugal. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| And I was like, all right, so what you want to do is you want to, you know, you take strawberry banana, you take a protein, you take, you know, da-da-da-da-da-da. | ||
| You want some green stuff. | ||
| He goes, or I could just eat a banana. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, but that's kind of like defeating the purpose. | ||
| You want to, you know, smooth. | ||
| And so I think he's doing smoothies and stuff now. | ||
| But back then, I just remember... | ||
| I was like, huh? | ||
| Like, I just gave you this whole recipe. | ||
| I could just eat a banana and it's cheaper. | ||
| You know, that was his whole thing. | ||
| Cheaper? | ||
| That's what it is? | ||
| I think that was... | ||
| I don't know, but I was just like... | ||
| He needs protein powder in his life. | ||
| He's so funny, man. | ||
| So, yeah. | ||
| So, I grew up in Prince George's County, Maryland, right? | ||
| And a lot of comedians come from there. | ||
| Chappelle. | ||
| I have a great Chappelle story because we're the same age. | ||
| So, when I was 19 and I just started Green Bell Comedy Connection, What I loved about Chappelle, I'm bringing this up because his Mark Twain Awards, he gave a shout out to a guy named Tony Woods. | ||
| So Tony Woods is also from the D.C. area. | ||
| And so at 19, I'm in this comedy club, Green Bell Comedy. | ||
| It's a black room. | ||
| Chappelle is on stage and he's getting booed. | ||
| And his dismount off getting booed is something I've never seen before in my life. | ||
| It was fantastic. | ||
| He's like, Fuck y'all. | ||
| I'm going to be famous. | ||
| I'm going to be famous! | ||
| Like, he just kept saying that and then just walked off. | ||
| And when he walked off, I was like, oh my God, they booed him? | ||
| Like, in my head, I'm like, if they booed him, I don't stand a chance in comedy because... | ||
| Like, what just happened when he walked by? | ||
| Nobody wanted to touch him because he had that bomb on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So even I was like, damn, hey, hey, man. | |
| And he had that sweet bomb on him. | ||
| That bomb. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And he sits down in the booth right here. | ||
| And I just can't stop looking at him because I'm watching. | ||
| You know how they say the stages of grief? | ||
| Like, I'm watching. | ||
| And I keep thinking, why doesn't he leave? | ||
| And he's sitting there, and Tony Woods goes on stage next. | ||
| And Tony Woods is like, wow, man, god damn, like just kind of a similar cadence. | ||
| And Tony just destroys, got a standing ovation, like, night and day. | ||
| And I'm just 19, just nude, like, absorbing this. | ||
| And I go, what the fuck just happened? | ||
| Tony walks off stage. | ||
| As a comic, I'm just kind of, like, eavesdropping. | ||
| Like, I think I'm 5'7", but I'm fucking 6'5", but I'm just trying to, like, look at what they're going to do next. | ||
| And they get up together and they walk out. | ||
| I kind of just follow them out, thinking, I don't know what's going to happen. | ||
| Hey, kid, you want to hang with us? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They get in the same car. | ||
| I think it was a hatchback. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| And Tony drives off. | ||
| I'm like, whoa, they came together. | ||
| That was all I knew of that relationship. | ||
| And I knew that Tony had been doing it a lot longer than And I knew that Dave... | ||
| It's kind of like how when Kobe came into the league and was talking like Mike, and then Kobe leaned into who Kobe was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He became who he is. | |
| Yes. | ||
| I speak Italian. | ||
| I'm speaking Italian. | ||
| I speak like this. | ||
| These are the things that are important to me. | ||
| And so you watched Dave do that separate from Tony. | ||
| But what I love about what Dave did, and this is why he's great, is he recognized Tony in his greatest comedic moment. | ||
| It's the most honest thing you can do. | ||
| Most people would be like, I did this on me. | ||
| And what he said about Tony could not have been truer. | ||
| And so it just touched my heart. | ||
| Because I was there at the epicenter when I was watching Dave figure it out. | ||
| And it was probably like... | ||
| And the material he was doing, it just didn't connect with... | ||
| It was a blue-collar black crowd. | ||
| I think he was doing the superhero stuff. | ||
| Like, man, Wonder Woman's magic lasso. | ||
| I don't hear that magic lasso shit. | ||
| It was just that. | ||
| It wasn't funny. | ||
| Because to me, I'm a 19-year-old. | ||
| I thought this shit was hilarious. | ||
| So that's the other thing. | ||
| I felt like, am I wrong? | ||
| Like, I'm laughing. | ||
| And you hear boo, boo. | ||
| I was like, oh shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I was like, I can't help you, Dave! | ||
| And he came down. | ||
| And then a couple of... | ||
| I feel like six months later, I saw him on HBO or something. | ||
| So I was like, damn, he didn't let it stop him. | ||
| And so I learned all these lessons just sitting in the back of a comedy club. | ||
| Donnell Rollins, who might come in and interrupt us. | ||
| He, too, is from that area. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And I remember... | ||
| And Donnell... | ||
| You know how people talk about comedy. | ||
| When he was on stage, people were saying he spoke Korean. | ||
| I was like, God damn, who is this dude? | ||
| And he was the first comic I ever saw commanding audience. | ||
| And I thought the audience, because I was, again, 19. I had done comedy more than five times. | ||
| And I hear the audience go, do the Aspen bit! | ||
| And he would do his bit about Aspen. | ||
| That would be hilarious. | ||
| Do the bike bit! | ||
| And he would do this bit about not getting... | ||
| And I thought this motherfucker had like... | ||
| Like the audience had like requests, you know what I mean? | ||
| I was like, how great is this dude? | ||
| Like they know his work and they're requesting it. | ||
| But years later, I didn't know that those were like comics. | ||
| Like maybe... | ||
| It might have been comics or it might have been his... | ||
| But he... | ||
| Always had, like, he was just so amazing. | ||
| So I had all these references early on as, like, where you can take the art form, you know, and how fearless it was. | ||
| And then I went out to South Bend where it was just completely different. | ||
| Like, I was in college, you know. | ||
| But I had all this, like, these mental downloads of, like, of just how... | ||
| These different styles that hadn't really touched the Midwest comedy scene. | ||
| It's so funny when you're starting out, too, because you're trying to figure out what style is going to work. | ||
| Do I change? | ||
| Do I shift? | ||
| Who am I? I went through all of that. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| And that's, again, bringing it back to what Notebooks is. | ||
| I want to know what your particular thing was. | ||
| I know what mine was, but all of ours is different. | ||
| But we all play the same... | ||
| It's like we play the same sport, but we all play it different ways. | ||
| And I love that shit. | ||
| So yeah, it's ironic that you bought that show up. | ||
| Because I was like, should I bring that up again? | ||
| Yeah, you should bring it up. | ||
| Yeah, I was so honored that you said you would do it too. | ||
| Oh, I was happy to do it. | ||
| When I saw those numbers, I was like, oh shit, that's hilarious. | ||
| You had the legal pad action. | ||
| It's so old too. | ||
| It's just amazing that I kept them. | ||
| Yeah, we do. | ||
| I've stacked some of them. | ||
| Yes, and I'm sure there were several times when... | ||
| You were urged to throw them away. | ||
| Yeah, my wife was trying to throw them away. | ||
| I go, no! | ||
| Yep, that's what gave me the idea. | ||
| My wife was trying to toss mine. | ||
| I go, no! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you talking about? | |
| No fucking way. | ||
| Those are going to be worth something someday. | ||
| And also when I was going through them, I was always thinking, like, maybe one day I'll find a gem. | ||
| Maybe there's a gem in here. | ||
| Just a premise. | ||
| Just a weird premise. | ||
| It's in there. | ||
| It's so hard to get that. | ||
| Discipline, like, to literally go through it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| How do you write? | ||
| Do you sit in front of a computer and write? | ||
| Do you write in front of a notebook? | ||
| That's a great question. | ||
| Or do you have good ideas and you just... | ||
| Good ideas. | ||
| So what I do... | ||
| You know what I started doing? | ||
| I'm going to do a podcast, too. | ||
| It's going to be called In Context with Owen Smith. | ||
| Because what I started doing is I started reading a newspaper more. | ||
| And whenever I read the newspaper, my brain fucking explodes with a whole bunch of just... | ||
| Ideas. | ||
| Newspaper. | ||
| Yeah, a fucking newspaper. | ||
| I like holding it. | ||
| But now I'm getting myself to doing the online stuff just because it's just more practical. | ||
| Because every time I go to get the paper, it's not... | ||
| I always feel so funny when I'm holding a newspaper now, like, what is this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you, Captain America? | |
| What, are you frozen in the 50s? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| But I like, because you can see the words, and you can see, like, they use specific word choice, and my brain just starts going, damn, that's fine. | ||
| But my act isn't that, right? | ||
| My act is more personal, but just, Chris Rock told me something a long time ago. | ||
| He said, I don't suffer from... | ||
| What is it when you can't think of anything? | ||
| Writer's block? | ||
| Yeah, I don't suffer from writer's block. | ||
| I suffer from reader's block. | ||
| I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| And D.O. Hughley told me a long time ago, if you read the newspaper every day, that's equivalent to having a master's. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Well, that's GED logic, man. | ||
| He said, But I was like, yo! | ||
| You have to write papers. | ||
| You have to do serious research. | ||
| You have to take exams. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen, when he said it to me, I was like, okay, you know. | |
| But I didn't know he had his GED. There ain't no shade on D, but I was like, that stayed with me. | ||
| So I would always try to read a whole newspaper. | ||
| Depends on what paper, too. | ||
| The New York Post? | ||
| You gotta go back. | ||
| You gotta go back. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| You're gonna slide back to fifth grade. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That newspaper is hilarious. | ||
| I love the New York Post. | ||
| My goodness. | ||
| Every time I read it, they're just shitting on people. | ||
| It's fantastic. | ||
| It's like, it's not a tabloid, but it is. | ||
| It is, but it's really the news. | ||
| It's the news. | ||
| But they talk shit, and it's funny. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| New York Post, I grab that every time I'm back in New York. | ||
| It's funny shit, man. | ||
| Yeah, it was... | ||
| So I've always tried to... | ||
| But you know, shit that come to me in my sleep, conversations, and for me it's about finding what is the right... | ||
| I don't feel like there's... | ||
| I feel like where's the best place for this joke to live? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Is this a stand-up joke? | ||
| Could I get more traction out of this if it's a sketch? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Um... | ||
| And then if it is a sketch, how can I still make it sing as a stand-up joke? | ||
| And what's fun for me is if I do something and I revisit it and I can do it a lot cleaner and clearer, then I get excited because then I can play. | ||
| Because that's the other thing. | ||
| Sometimes when you write, you forget to play. | ||
| I remember, I think I saw Bill Maher or somebody like that performing. | ||
| He... | ||
| He kind of just stands there. | ||
| And so I saw him come off stage one time, and he was like, man, that fucking audience sucked. | ||
| And I was thinking in my head, I wouldn't say it to him, but I was like, man, you just forgot to play. | ||
| All your shit was fire, but... | ||
| You're not having fun. | ||
| Yeah, sometimes, you know, and so when I watch his show, when I can see he's playing, it's like, ah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You forget that sometimes. | |
| You forget that. | ||
| I mean, shit, he's up to deadlines. | ||
| He's got to do all that stuff. | ||
| But when I saw him live that day, I go, ah, he was trying to figure it out still. | ||
| So he didn't have the little... | ||
| And so it's all those little things. | ||
| And so sometimes I could be too hard on myself trying to get it, like, technically right. | ||
| And when I just remember to play... | ||
| This shit is so fun, you know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's about creating moments and you forget all of that. | ||
| But for me, I'm always trying to... | ||
| I'm always... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I'll hear shit. | ||
| I'll see shit. | ||
| I'm like, what is that? | ||
| Like, so... | ||
| Like, so right now it's Black History Month. | ||
| All this stuff about Martin Luther King. | ||
| But my head went to, yo, this dude... | ||
|
unidentified
|
The FBI bugged. | |
| Like, they listened to all of his stuff. | ||
| And so now I'm thinking about the guys listening to MLK. Like, it couldn't all be civil rights. | ||
| Like, I wonder if he turned any of them, you know? | ||
| Like, they listening. | ||
| Like, it's got a good point. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Yeah, I kind of agree with you. | ||
| Or they'd be like, huh. | ||
| So that's how you make potato salad. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, just listening to whatever... | ||
| How many people do you think we're assigned to listen to? | ||
| I'm fascinated with that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what's crazy. | |
| And like, I wonder like... | ||
| That's a weird relationship. | ||
| It's a weird relationship. | ||
| And you're getting like... | ||
| You're getting a peek into the world of somebody you're told is this one thing, and what if you, you know, you hear something and you just don't agree? | ||
| Like, I'm fascinated with stuff like that, so I try to, like, figure out if you can make that funny. | ||
| Sure, and that's where great bits come from, and they come from that uncertainty, like, okay, where is it? | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| I know there's something in that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There is something in some FBI, some square FBI dude listening to Martin Luther King. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's like, oh, injustice anyway, you know, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's a thing that he could say that would turn him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I play with stuff like that. | ||
| One of my favorite comedians... | ||
| I have a whole bunch, but... | ||
| Comedians that always get to me are people that I didn't know comedy could do that. | ||
| So I remember when I heard Dick Gregory Owen. | ||
| It's an album called Dick Gregory Owen. | ||
| And he was the first black millionaire to do stand-up. | ||
| And he has a great book. | ||
| He has a book called Nigger. | ||
| But his best book I wouldn't say best, but my favorite book of his is called The Shadow That Scares Me. | ||
| And it's really him giving solutions to all of these problems that were in the narrative at that time about black folks. | ||
| And I was amazed at his writing, and I was blown away by his stand-up, some of the social commentary he would make. | ||
| And I was like, oh man, I want to do some of that. | ||
| So I used to, that was back in my 30s when I was trying to solve the race problem. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I was like, I ain't fucking with that no more. | ||
| Like, that's out of my system. | ||
| But I used to, because I was still in the orbit of the bring the pain, like, oh, I gotta have my. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it just, I was like, it's not really changing the world, man. | |
| I'm making some points. | ||
| But I kind of backed away because I used to do this bit about being at a rap concert, Busta Rhymes, and it's all white folks and I'm there and he goes, all my real niggas make some noise. | ||
| Everybody made noise. | ||
| Me and the two other black people locked eyes. | ||
| Like, yo. | ||
| There's something hilarious in that, too. | ||
| Like, are you allowed to do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| You can't say it, but can you cheer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And so then I go, maybe they didn't hear him. | ||
| But in hip-hop, you say everything twice. | ||
| So he said it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, I said, all my real niggas make some noise. | |
| And so I was like, man, not only... | ||
| I was like, white people niggas now. | ||
| This is what I was saying. | ||
| I was doing this shit like in Milwaukee, Appleton, Wisconsin. | ||
| And I go, and not only can we call them niggas, they paying $80 for the privilege to be called niggas. | ||
| $80 a ticket. | ||
| And I go, white folks, tonight I'll call you niggas for $10. | ||
| $10 niggas sale, niggas clearance, cash only, because I know how you niggas are, right? | ||
| So proud of this bet. | ||
| At the end of the show, I'm selling my dumb DVDs, selling my merch, and inevitably, a white person will always come up to me, give me $20, and call me Nick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| They're like, that's not the bit! | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's not the bit! | ||
| So... | ||
| Late 20s, early 30s, you know, you're the angry comic. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| And then, now that I'm a little older, I go, man, I'd be funny if I... Because I kept the money, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, if that was my stick, like I didn't sell merch, look, y'all can call me whatever y'all want for $20. | ||
| Just have a line of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You'd be like this millionaire and you're doing interviews. | |
| Like, well, I made my money by... | ||
| And people walking by, nigga! | ||
| And they throw you money. | ||
| Anywho. | ||
| But for me, just living in that space, man, I was just like, nah. | ||
| After I tried it, and I was getting that kind of response. | ||
| Well, there's a thing, too, where when you're a comic, you want to be respected. | ||
| So you want to come up with a bit that transcends comedy. | ||
| You want everybody to go, wow, Owen's on some real shit. | ||
| I think there's a danger in that, that you can kind of trick yourself. | ||
| I had some dumb bits that I did that were like, I was just trying to get people to think that I was really good, rather than it just being good. | ||
| Yeah, being good, being from a real personal place. | ||
| So much of it, I had this conversation with Robert Downey Jr. about acting, and something I said to him, and he said exactly, I said, isn't a lot of it just about getting out of your own way? | ||
| Because that's what a lot of it is with comedy. | ||
| I think it's with acting. | ||
| I think it's probably with music. | ||
| I think it's probably with everything. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| You've got to get out of your own way. | ||
| Because the way you look at yourself, the way you want people to look at you. | ||
| It can hold you back. | ||
| How many conversations have you ever had with a comic and they talk about how they want the respect of the industry. | ||
| They want the people to look at them. | ||
| These fucking people don't respect me. | ||
| And it's like, God damn, do you hear yourself? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're wasting all this mental fuel on this nonsense. | ||
| My mother-in-law has the best saying. | ||
| My wife says it all the time. | ||
| She goes, if you worry about yourself, you'll have a busy, busy time. | ||
| If you worry about you, you'll have a busy, busy time. | ||
| Because when you hear people going off, I want them, they don't see them. | ||
| Hey man, just worry about you. | ||
| All the shit you have to do, you focus on that, you'll be busy enough. | ||
| And nothing could be truer than that when I hear comics do that. | ||
| Comics come up with a lot of excuses for why things aren't going on. | ||
| My favorite one, this is my favorite one. | ||
| They don't want white men. | ||
| They don't want white straight men. | ||
| I'm like, what in the fuck are you even talking about? | ||
| I've heard that. | ||
| And they've said that to me. | ||
| That is so fucking crazy. | ||
| I'm like, okay, man. | ||
| It's literally 90% of all comedians. | ||
| Here's one thing that is true. | ||
| There are certain networks that are trying to get people that are not white men. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| However, there's still a fucking shitload that are getting specials. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Yes! | ||
| The idea that that's somehow an impediment. | ||
| And not really pushing the... | ||
| It just lacks so much self-awareness to say that there's a problem being a white man. | ||
| You understand? | ||
| When they say it to me, you understand? | ||
| I'll be like, what do I do with this? | ||
| It's so not self-aware. | ||
| No. | ||
| One guy came to me one time at the comedy store, and he was complaining about not being able to get on staff. | ||
| As a paid regular? | ||
| Yeah, but he wanted to be a staff as a writer. | ||
| It came out that he sold shows. | ||
| So you have a quote. | ||
| And I go, what's your quote? | ||
| And he told me his quote. | ||
| I go, do you know what a staff writer makes? | ||
| I go, you're not getting hired because you have a quote. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, no one's ever worked with you in the room. | ||
| Explain what that means for people to understand what that means. | ||
| Oh, so... | ||
| So, when you... | ||
| So, everything... | ||
| When you sell a television show, they give you a contract of terms in case the television show goes. | ||
| And they agree to pay you an amount per episode of the show that you sold, whether it's a variety TV show, whether it's unscripted, whatever. | ||
| All those terms are agreed in advance. | ||
| That is what's called your quote. | ||
| And that quote is specific to the studio you did the deal with. | ||
| But that quote can travel to another studio. | ||
| So if you go someplace else, they may give you the bare minimum offer and you can go, I have a quote. | ||
| If you are a staff writer... | ||
| That quote is a decent amount per episode. | ||
| But typically, if you're a staff writer, I think you get paid... | ||
| I'm going to say it's less than $6,000 a week is how the math would work out. | ||
| And so you have this thing where... | ||
| You have this quote that's probably $30,000 an episode. | ||
| I don't know what that would track a week because they amortize it over however long you're slated to work. | ||
| And as a staff writer, you're getting paid like this amount. | ||
| So no showrunner in their right mind is going to just ask you to take a pay cut from your quote. | ||
| Your people won't allow them to do that. | ||
| And no showrunner is going to hire you at that high quote if you've never been in a room before. | ||
| Like, I'm not going to pay you $30,000 an episode to learn. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So it's a lot of math missed in this complaint that you have built for yourself, which is fine. | ||
| I just don't want to hear it because I know the math. | ||
| So it's like... | ||
| I hope I did a good job. | ||
| No, that makes sense. | ||
| But it's like, yeah, man, you succeeded at selling several shows. | ||
| So that's like the lane you're in unless you come in and go, listen, I'll take a pay cut. | ||
| I want to learn. | ||
| I need to get... | ||
| If that's really what you want to do. | ||
| When I told him that, it was like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You ever tell somebody like a different solution and the face they make is, I wish, you know how you take pictures of Ian's sleep? | ||
| I wish I could have pictures of like that face. | ||
| Like when a light bulb goes off? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's what's wrong. | ||
| But the difference is, I think between successful people and people who are moderately successful is they're open to that, right? | ||
| Like you just told me put notebooks on YouTube. | ||
| Guess where it's going to be? | ||
| It's going to be on fucking YouTube. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'm going to do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not going to be like, I don't know. | |
| You actually connected what I've been thinking the whole time. | ||
| It's almost like you just... | ||
| Gave me that extra, like, incentive to, yeah, man, I'm doing this now. | ||
| So, I checked in with him. | ||
| No, he didn't, you know, do the thing. | ||
| And so I almost think, like, he needs to feel that he's being, you know... | ||
| Silly. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, stacked against, so it fuels his... | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I go, okay, if that's your... | ||
| Yeah, he needs to feel like he's being maligned. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, if that's your thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That fucking Hollywood world of... | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| It's a gross world, man. | ||
| Dude, the fact that you live here and figured out how to succeed outside of it is kind of diabolical. | ||
| It's diabolical in a lot of ways. | ||
| I'm kind of in it, but I'm kind of not. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you still go to meetings? | |
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Do people come here? | ||
| No, there's no meetings. | ||
| There's no meetings. | ||
| I say no to everything. | ||
| I say no to every interview. | ||
| I say no to every meeting. | ||
| I say no to everything. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| But he said yes to notebooks. | ||
| He did notebooks. | ||
| Yeah, but I said yes to that. | ||
| Anything my friends do. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| I don't want any meetings. | ||
| I don't want to do anything more than what I'm already doing. | ||
| Did you have this vision? | ||
| Oh, that's what I wanted to ask you. | ||
| Because I just had an audition today. | ||
| And I wanted to ask you, did you ever go for auditions? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Did it become a thing that you set out to be great at, or was it always something that you just were like, I'm going to see where this takes me? | ||
| I'll give you the craziest story about auditions ever, as far as success stories. | ||
| I auditioned for two shows ever. | ||
| I got both of them. | ||
| The only two shows I ever auditioned for. | ||
| I auditioned for a show called Hardball that was on Fox. | ||
| It was a terrible baseball show. | ||
| I got that. | ||
| It started off really good, but the network fucked it up. | ||
| And then I auditioned for NewsRadio, and I got that. | ||
| So two shows in a row. | ||
| Did you walk me through it, though? | ||
| Did you have to go do the first audition, callback, test, and all of that? | ||
| Yeah, all that. | ||
| Okay, do you remember who else was up for it? | ||
| No, but I remember NewsRadio. | ||
| See, NewsRadio was 26, so that was only like... | ||
| Four years from when I was fighting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I had a different feeling of fear and anxiety than a lot of people did. | ||
| And I was in the waiting room. | ||
| There was an open call. | ||
| And the open call, it wasn't an open call, but it was like a cattle call. | ||
| There was like 50 fucking dudes waiting to get in there. | ||
| And you would read, but it was interesting. | ||
| It wasn't funny. | ||
| I was like, what is this? | ||
| But they did it on purpose. | ||
| They wanted to cut out all the corn balls. | ||
| So they gave you lines, and you had to play it straight. | ||
| Mm. | ||
| It was like me trying to figure... | ||
| I was a handyman at this radio station, so I had to figure something out. | ||
| And I was like, I don't know what's going on with it. | ||
| And they're like, but you're supposed to fix it. | ||
| Yeah, but I can't fix it, so I don't know what to do. | ||
| Like that kind of thing. | ||
| There was no punchline. | ||
| And I told my manager, I was like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The pilot was really funny because I saw the pilot and there was another guy on the pilot. | ||
| Ray Romano was actually the original guy on the pilot and they fired him. | ||
| Replaced him with another guy and then they fired that guy and then they had a call to see who the next guy would be and then I went in to read for it and then the first script was not... | ||
| It was just straight. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| So I said, I don't know what to do with it. | ||
| I said, I'm just going to do it straight. | ||
| And so then I got a call back, and then I got new sides, and the new sides were hilarious. | ||
| And then I realized, like, oh, they're trying to cut out the corn balls. | ||
| They got a bunch of wacky, you know, fucking real obvious sitcom guys. | ||
| So I went in for the second call. | ||
| And it was me and three other dudes. | ||
| And they looked like they were about to get shipped off to Vietnam. | ||
| They were white, pale, sweaty. | ||
| Everyone was nervous. | ||
| And I remember I looked at them and go, oh, I got this. | ||
| And I sat down and I plopped my feet up on the couch. | ||
| And I just kicked back and relaxed. | ||
| I relaxed. | ||
| I felt good. | ||
| I was like, how nervous you fucks are. | ||
| Are you guys going to go in there and choke? | ||
| So I just went in there and did it. | ||
| But also the thing for me is... | ||
| I never wanted to be an actor. | ||
| I just did it for the money. | ||
| When I got an audition for Hardball, it was because Disney gave me a bunch of money for a development deal because I did stand-up on MTV. So I did the MTV half-hour comedy hour, and then MTV, they offered me the most ridiculous deal ever. | ||
| It was like $500 to do a pilot, and then if they decide to do it, even if they decide to shoot it and never film it, they have you locked up exclusively for two years. | ||
| It was so ridiculous. | ||
| It was because they had made celebrities with Dennis Leary. | ||
| Dennis Leary had become famous from MTV and then he left. | ||
| So they're like, we're going to keep people here now. | ||
| If we make someone a star, we're going to keep them. | ||
| So they offered the most ridiculously lowball deal of all time. | ||
| So I said no to that. | ||
| We said no to that. | ||
| And then my manager sent my tape out and said, hey, this guy is about to sign this deal with someone. | ||
| If you guys are interested, do it now. | ||
| I think he might have said MTV. So then we got all these offers. | ||
| And so I couldn't answer my phone. | ||
| They told me, don't answer my phone. | ||
| Just go to the pool hall. | ||
| Stop answering your phone. | ||
| Because people were calling me at home. | ||
| And this is back in the day. | ||
| I didn't have a cell phone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So then two weeks later, I'm in Hollywood having meetings. | ||
| And then a month later... | ||
| Oh, you were in Boston? | ||
| Yeah, I was in New York. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And then a month later, I'm living there. | ||
| A month later. | ||
| Great. | ||
| I'm out in Hollywood with Jim Brewer. | ||
| Jim Brewer was on the show with me and the pilot. | ||
| He was the opposing mascot. | ||
| He was hilarious. | ||
| So me and Jim were buddies from back in the day, so we're all hanging out. | ||
| And then, you know, that show got picked up. | ||
| I did like six episodes of that show. | ||
| It got canceled. | ||
| I'm just hanging out at the store every night, and then I'm ready to go back home to New York, but I had already signed a lease. | ||
| So I had this fucking apartment for a year, and I couldn't get out of it. | ||
| So I'm like, God damn. | ||
| And then I got a development deal with NBC based on the hardball show. | ||
| And so they said, hey, before we talk to you about doing your own show, we'd like you to look at this pilot and see if you'd be interested in it. | ||
| And it's Dave Foley and Phil Hartman and Andy Dick. | ||
| And I'm like, holy shit! | ||
| I'm like, really? | ||
| I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm interested in this. | ||
| And then I came in and read for it, and next thing you know, I had it. | ||
| Next thing you know, I'm on TV. I've been doing acting for like a couple of months, and I'm sitting at a table next to Phil Hartman. | ||
| I'm like, this is crazy. | ||
| Like, this is fucking crazy. | ||
| And all these different people that were on the show. | ||
| It was fascinating, man. | ||
| It was fascinating, because it's not something I ever wanted. | ||
| I was not interested in it at all. | ||
| But all of a sudden it was happening. | ||
| I was like, huh. | ||
| But that's part of probably why I was able to do it. | ||
| Because it wasn't like this dream that was paralyzing me with anticipation and anxiety. | ||
| When I walked in that second audition, I saw those dudes sweating. | ||
| I was like, look at you nervous fucks. | ||
| It brought me back to fighting. | ||
| Because fighting, I used to love seeing how nervous people were before fights. | ||
| And I would take naps. | ||
| I would lay down on the ground, like in the bleachers. | ||
| Because just to let everybody know, I'm just going to go sleep. | ||
| You guys are all nervous. | ||
| I'm just going to take a nap. | ||
| Because you're playing psychological games. | ||
| When I would knock guys out, I'd walk away like it was normal. | ||
| Even though I was freaked out. | ||
| Like, whoa, that dude's unconscious. | ||
| I would just walk around like, that's what I do, dude. | ||
| I do that shit every day. | ||
| I'm going to do it to you, too. | ||
| And so when I was in that room getting ready to go in and read, I had the same feeling. | ||
| Oh, you guys are nervous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get your feet up! | |
| What a asshole! | ||
| I was like this, like, oh, I got this. | ||
| You're that guy. | ||
| Well, also, I was the only comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those guys weren't comics. | ||
| They weren't used to performing live and all that. | ||
| That's a giant advantage. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Like, when I would audition and, like, a really good-looking guy would walk in, I'd be like, he ain't funny. | ||
| Seriously, I would have no fear. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, whatever. | ||
| This is a comedy. | ||
| Good luck, man. | ||
| I have no fear. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's too hard to be good looking and funny. | ||
| It doesn't really work out very often. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| You ain't going to be funnier than me. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| The reason I did Fear Factor is because I didn't want to work with actors anymore. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| When that came up, I was like... | ||
| Because I had auditioned for one or two sitcoms that I didn't get after Fear Factor. | ||
| But it also was a thing where I was like, man, I need to make some money. | ||
| I'm not making as much money doing stand-up, and I was used to making TV money, and I had development deals, and they didn't go. | ||
| And then I auditioned for a couple shows, and that didn't happen. | ||
| And then... | ||
| I guess it was like two years because Fear Factor, yeah, 2000, 2001. Fear Factor was 2001 and news radio ended in 99. And it was an opportunity to do something with no actors. | ||
| I was like, fuck yeah, I'm in. | ||
| Because the audition process is even weirder. | ||
| You're dealing with all these mind games that people are playing in the waiting room. | ||
| It's like, ugh, you people are so strange. | ||
| They're the strangest people because their life is centered around getting people to like them for auditions, right? | ||
| So they're always trying to pretend they're exactly what these casting people want in terms of their Their political beliefs, the way they talk, the way they act. | ||
| There's nothing weirder than being around unsuccessful actors. | ||
| Ones that are trying to make it. | ||
| Once they're successful, if you're talking to Robert Downey Jr., he's a regular dude, man. | ||
| He's a regular dude, but he's famous as fuck and super successful. | ||
| And there's a lot of those guys like that. | ||
| Yeah, you know what I equate that to? | ||
| When I first moved out here... | ||
| Before you get on the lot and you're competing with everyone, then that's when you hear people in Hollywood are shady, people are full of shit, you can't trust. | ||
| Because we all were basically unemployed Right. | ||
| Competing for the same. | ||
| Yeah, man, I'm going to meet you. | ||
| I'm going to meet you. | ||
| Hey, none of us got jobs. | ||
| We all talking. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But once I got my first gig, I met a different character of people. | ||
| Oh, these people are nice. | ||
| Oh, because they working. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And so it is something about people who figured out how to make a living in this town, that they have a lot more integrity and a little more credible and honest. | ||
| And you go, man, you're a real dude. | ||
| But, yeah, when you first get here and you're thrown in that line where everybody's just struggling, it took me back to basketball, AAU, where I loved playing basketball. | ||
| I wanted to be a globetrotter. | ||
| I know how to do all the tricks and all that stuff. | ||
| I love having fun. | ||
| And when you start getting, when I started looking at colleges and getting recruited, it's becoming a business. | ||
| And I wasn't ready for that. | ||
| And I literally liked having fun playing basketball. | ||
| And I would be playing at some tournaments with some kids. | ||
| And I'm like, damn, you got a kid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| You playing for your family. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And I'm up there like... | ||
| Just having a good time. | ||
| Just having a good time. | ||
| And it was serious for them. | ||
| And so, you know, just like... | ||
| So when I came out here, I fell into the commercial world. | ||
| I started booking commercials a lot. | ||
| And I still do if I go out. | ||
| My wife was like, you should go back out for commercials again. | ||
| Because I had that same mindset where... | ||
| Alright, man. | ||
| As a comic, I get it. | ||
| I get the joke. | ||
| I know how to, like, you know, nail it. | ||
| I've booked pilots. | ||
| But then, like, because I write, too, I could see, like, all the rewriting happening on set. | ||
| And I could tell if it was going to go or not. | ||
| Because they always... | ||
| Lately, they've been trying to cuten everything up. | ||
| And I go, I get it. | ||
| But in the 12th hour, when you guys are deciding what, you know, the cute show's not going to make it. | ||
| What do you mean by cuten everything up? | ||
| We're, we're like, so I was, before we walked in, I was like, did you watch Curb last, um, last night? | ||
| I did a funny thing about a handicap placard, right? | ||
| And so, um, and it just spoke to, everybody wants one of those things. | ||
| It's, hey man, you got a handicap, you know, and they did a montage of all the stitch you would do if you had a handicap placard. | ||
| Um. | ||
| That might be in the pilot at first and you'd be howling. | ||
| And then as you're shooting it, man, the handicap thing is coming off a little mean. | ||
| What if we make it? | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then they button it up to where it's not as gratifying because you're laughing at just the primal nature of, yeah, man, I would do the same shit. | ||
| I'm rocking with this show. | ||
| And then they cuten it up. | ||
| They're worried about the repercussions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They take the edge off it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when you watch it, Back and you go, we got this show and we got this show. | ||
| I don't really know anybody in this show. | ||
| This guy's a known face. | ||
| They're both cute. | ||
| Put the known face out. | ||
| But again, I am literally armchair quarterbacking. | ||
| It could be a series of things. | ||
| It's rare that someone does it right. | ||
| That's what's interesting with new shows. | ||
| It's not like there's a lot of people that are doing it right and there's a lot of great new shows. | ||
| What do you think is the next thing though? | ||
| I think, first of all, streaming services have changed the whole game. | ||
| Things like Stranger Things. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Those kind of shows. | ||
| Now there's a new show on HBO that I'm addicted to called The Outsider. | ||
| Is that good? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| It's fucking good. | ||
| It's fucking good. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| It grabs me, because I watch Curb, and I'll see the last two minutes. | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| The last two minutes I see, I'm like, yo! | ||
| It's Jason Bateman. | ||
| Jason Bateman knows his shit, because Ozark's amazing. | ||
| Those kind of shows, they're so off the charts in terms of what you could get away with on network television. | ||
| Network television is just so hampered. | ||
| They're so confined. | ||
| They have shackles. | ||
| They just can't do anything wild, anything outside the norm. | ||
| They can't take any chance. | ||
| Spoiler alert, on The Outsider, you see a dead kid like 30 seconds into the first episode. | ||
| Yeah, you can never do that. | ||
| Not just dead, but mauled. | ||
| I mean, it's horrible. | ||
| It's a stunning visual. | ||
| And if you can't handle that, it's not something you see a lot throughout the whole show, but it's enough to fuck you up. | ||
| They'll let you know, like, hey, this is not CBS. This is chaos. | ||
| This is as realistic a horror show as you're going to get. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| When I watch... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything is like a different palette, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If a network show is clicking, I can get how people would fall in love with the romance of that. | ||
| Like, oh, this is good. | ||
| This is a good show. | ||
| But the... | ||
| But the process, the creative process, coming from a stand-up brain. | ||
| You know, I'm a stand-up first. | ||
| It's very collaborative. | ||
| And it is, like you say, it's collaborative with a lot of people who, at certain stages, you're like, ah... | ||
| I'm just going through it. | ||
| So I'm being very diplomatic and I go, okay, why do you have this job? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you do? | |
| And it's also like, how do we talk to one another? | ||
| Because I know what I'm thinking. | ||
| So I'm using it as, and I think because I'm a parent now, so I'm in this space of just trying to figure out Yeah. | ||
| Because 26-year-old me would have been like, man, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Or just been like, this is stupid. | ||
| But I'm in this space right now where I'm like, okay, I know I don't like how you're talking to me right now. | ||
| I don't even understand it. | ||
| But I think I need to try to figure it out. | ||
| And, you know... | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, working with people can be rewarding. | ||
| You definitely learn about communication. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem is it's never as good as your stand-up. | ||
| No! | ||
| No! | ||
| Yeah, that's real. | ||
| The problem is you are already a great stand-up. | ||
| I know, and it's like I'm trying to create a life over here. | ||
| But it's the attraction of the business. | ||
| The business pulls you in. | ||
| The business offers you money. | ||
| The business offers you security. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| They don't make money off your stand-up in this town. | ||
| No. | ||
| Unless it's a fucking booking agency, they don't make shit off of it. | ||
| The business offers you this stability. | ||
| You're going to go to CBS Radford. | ||
| You're going to pull in every day. | ||
| Hi, I'm Owen Smith. | ||
| I'm working on the blah, blah, blah. | ||
| You go in there, you got your parking spot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| I did it, man. | ||
| I did it for years and years and years. | ||
| I did it for five years on news radio. | ||
| It's attractive. | ||
| People love it. | ||
| You did it already. | ||
| I've done both things. | ||
| I did two shows that went to syndication. | ||
| I did news radio that went to syndication, and then I did Fear Factor that did syndication. | ||
| I get offers all the time to do stuff on TV. I don't want to have anything to do with it. | ||
| How did you and Stephen A, what happened? | ||
| I meant to ask you that. | ||
| Both talking about boxing. | ||
| That was like an amazing thing to watch. | ||
| MMA. That was an amazing thing to watch. | ||
| He's a generalist. | ||
| Yes, and you were very specific. | ||
| But how... | ||
| Why was that... | ||
| Why were they together? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because they were trying to... | ||
| He's a very popular guy. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And, you know, there was a big event. | ||
| Conor McGregor's fighting Cowboy Cerrone. | ||
| And then ESPN... Obviously, it's on ESPN+. I got it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So he's an ESPN star. | ||
| I was like, what happened? | ||
| Because I just saw a clip on YouTube. | ||
| And I go, what happened? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And... | ||
| It was clearly that. | ||
| I felt like I was watching an open-miker and a headliner both have a take on the topic. | ||
| It's not a good place. | ||
| If you're coming at martial arts, especially MMA, you have to have a deep understanding of the sport. | ||
| You can't just have a peripheral knowledge and communicate with someone like me. | ||
| I've been doing this a long time. | ||
| I've been working for the UFC since 1997. And I've been involved in martial arts since I was 14, 15 years old. | ||
| So this is not casual to me. | ||
| I'm balls deep in it. | ||
| And I'm also very, very respectful. | ||
| Very respectful to the fighters. | ||
| Very, very understanding of what's going on. | ||
| And I look at it in a very comprehensive way. | ||
| His whole thing is making controversy. | ||
| You know, his whole thing is he's a great shit talker. | ||
| He's great at shitting on people. | ||
| He's great at mocking people's performances. | ||
| He's just a powerful communicator and an entertainer. | ||
| The problem is you carry that over to MMA, man. | ||
| Those fans are not having that. | ||
| Right, that's right, yeah. | ||
| They turn on him like wolves. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't say anything mean, man. | ||
| I could have said some way, way, way meaner shit. | ||
| That's why I was watching. | ||
| I was like, oh shit, this is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have anything against that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like him. | |
| I think he's entertaining. | ||
| But it's just, you can't say cowboy quit. | ||
| He got his face smashed in. | ||
| He got head kicked. | ||
| I mean, he just doesn't understand what went down. | ||
| You can't say Connor didn't show you anything. | ||
| He just ran right through a top welterweight in 40 seconds. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| I understand what he's trying to do. | ||
| He's trying to apply the same sort of way of talking about sports that he talks about maybe if it's a basketball game or maybe it's something else. | ||
| He's trying to apply that to MMA. It's a different thing. | ||
| It's a different thing. | ||
| There's no knockdowns. | ||
| You get knocked down, the guy gets on top of you and punches your fucking face in. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's not like boxing. | ||
| It is as raw as a sport ever gets. | ||
| You're not even wearing shoes. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Your fingers are exposed. | ||
| You got pads on your knuckles. | ||
| You're allowed to elbow someone in the eyeball. | ||
| You're allowed to kick them in the fucking face with your shin. | ||
| Your shin bone slamming into someone's nose. | ||
| That happens all the time. | ||
| That's normal. | ||
| That's a normal day at the office. | ||
| It's a crazy sport, man. | ||
| So for that sport, you have to be super respectful and appreciative of what's going on because those guys are putting their health on the line in a big, big, big way. | ||
| And those girls, too. | ||
| Those girls fuck each other up, man. | ||
| It's rough to watch. | ||
| That was one of the hardest things for me to get over, watching girls get fucked up. | ||
| Because you don't think about that, right? | ||
| I mean, I saw that in the Taekwondo days. | ||
| I definitely saw girls get KO'd. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it wasn't as normal. | |
| In MMA, you see girls get just smashed, man. | ||
| You see them get smashed. | ||
| Like girls that fight Amanda Nunes, she just beats the fuck out of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Man. | ||
| It's a crazy sport, man. | ||
| But I don't have anything against Stephen A. I like him. | ||
| That's not why I brought it up. | ||
| We were talking about TV and the interesting ideas that come from a different place. | ||
| What if we take Joe and put him in? | ||
| Even in that world, I don't want to be involved in that world. | ||
| If ESPN wanted to give me a job, I'd be like, nope, not interested. | ||
| I don't want to have anything to do with that. | ||
| We did this Fight Companion podcast on Saturday during the day. | ||
| The fights were from New Zealand, the UFC fights before the Ties and Fury fight. | ||
| Deontay Wilder fight. | ||
| And we were talking about it, and my friend Eddie was like, how come they don't do something like this on TV? I'm like, they couldn't. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| We're drinking. | ||
| We have whiskey. | ||
| We're smoking weed. | ||
| We're talking crazy shit. | ||
| You know, Brendan Shaw, every girl, this bitch's ass, and this and that. | ||
| Everyone's talking crazy. | ||
| They're talking like guys normally talk. | ||
| We're sitting around, but we're doing it over the internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it gets millions of views. | ||
| So it's one of those things where if a network had a show like that, they'd be like, this is a hit! | ||
| It's a giant hit! | ||
| For a sports show to get way more views than the actual show it's watching. | ||
| So it's a fight companion. | ||
| We're watching the fights. | ||
| And we're talking about the fights, but that gets more than twice as many views as the actual fights itself, which is kind of crazy. | ||
| That's very crazy. | ||
| But the only way that happens is if no executive, none of those half-in, half-out people we were talking about before that really could work at the Discovery Channel or the History Channel. | ||
| They're trying to cuten things up, trying to take the edge off. | ||
| Look, guys, we're going to cut that segment around when you're talking about those girls' asses. | ||
| It's just kind of disrespectful. | ||
| And, you know, I've got kids of my own, and I've got daughters. | ||
| Like, get the fuck out of here! | ||
| Like, you know, if we had a producer in here, some network schlub. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's it right there. | |
| Oh, my gosh. | ||
| Giving us notes at the end of every show. | ||
| Oh, my gosh. | ||
| You couldn't do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I worked on late night talk shows, the whole narrative of freedom of speech was in the air. | ||
| And whenever we would write something, it all had to be legally approved. | ||
| Like, that's the first time I saw that. | ||
| A lawyer would come, hey, guys. | ||
| And he'd be like, you guys can't say, you know. | ||
| All right, man. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| You know, we'd figure out, you know, fun ways. | ||
| And then you'd go out in the world and people are like, freedom of speech, man. | ||
| This shit is all legally approved, man. | ||
| What you're seeing in this space is... | ||
| It's not, like you said, but when you guys can just say whatever you want to say. | ||
| The key is to narrow it down to as few voices as possible that have control, like this. | ||
| This is just you and me, and Jamie's hanging out. | ||
| This is a three-man crew that reaches millions and millions of people. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's never happened before. | ||
| But that's the only reason why it works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you don't have any... | ||
| My sensibilities are all fucked up. | ||
| They're not normal. | ||
| What I think is okay, in terms of drugs and violence and all the different things that I enjoy... | ||
| I mean, I'm a hunter. | ||
| I bow hunt animals. | ||
| That's what I eat. | ||
| I smoke pot all the time. | ||
| I'm always swearing. | ||
| I don't believe in any of these things. | ||
| I just think that when you're... | ||
| When you're putting together a show, there's no way you would ever let a person like me be responsible for the job of promoting something, being the captain of a show, where you've got all these executives and their jobs are on the line, and you're going to have some loose cannon like me, who's a wild stand-up comic? | ||
| Everything I've done has been wild. | ||
| From the beginning, from fighting to getting the stand-up. | ||
| All it's wild. | ||
| It's wild stuff. | ||
| I like when it's chaos. | ||
| That's what I enjoy. | ||
| But there's no way you could ever have a network approve something like this. | ||
| There's no way the language, saying cunt, saying whatever the fuck you want to say, talking about things in an honest way, talking about what's bullshit, about life, about politics, about the state of the way human beings communicate with each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You gotta boil it down to just a couple of people. | ||
| When you boil it down, especially guys like you and me who are comics, who can talk real about stuff, who aren't scared of saying their flaws, aren't scared of saying where they fucked up and how, you know, those are some of my favorite conversations are when you talk about the shit you fucked up when you were young and dumb. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| People hide from that stuff, man. | ||
| They don't like it. | ||
| They don't like to feel like they're inadequate or they always like to feel like they were always good. | ||
| Like, that's all nonsense. | ||
| This kind of thing where you're doing a podcast, this is, I think, this is the future of all those talk shows. | ||
| Those talk shows are dwindling. | ||
| They are like flowers in the desert, man. | ||
| They're not getting enough water. | ||
| There's no one watching. | ||
| If you look at the numbers, like Conan's show, it's horrible. | ||
| And, you know, he's a legend. | ||
| And all these guys are legends, but no one's watching that shit anymore. | ||
| Because you could watch this or any other podcast. | ||
| There's something like 900,000 of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| And you could watch them or listen to them anytime you want. | ||
| You could stop it when you have to take a shit. | ||
| You can come back. | ||
| You know, you don't have to wait for it to come on. | ||
| None of that nonsense. | ||
| You could listen in your car. | ||
| You could watch it on your computer. | ||
| This is... | ||
| And people are being real. | ||
| This is a different world now. | ||
| With the internet, there's too much real information for you to get spoon-fed nonsense on television. | ||
| When I watch those CBS shows, those crime shows, I'm like, old people are watching this, right? | ||
| Old people and people that have chemicals at work and they come home drunk. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's something in the air. | ||
| They just want to sit and have something mindless spoon-fed to them. | ||
| Those network shows, that's what keeps those things alive. | ||
| Those things are so watered down and so nonsense. | ||
| They're not real life. | ||
| I wanted to tell you, I got beef with Malcolm Gladwell. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You spoke to him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You need to connect us. | ||
| What do you have beef with him about? | ||
| I love him, right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You listen to his stuff all the time. | ||
| And then he did something with some guy. | ||
| I think he was a little tipsy. | ||
| But he was talking about how he could do stand-up. | ||
| Doing stand-up is easy. | ||
| He really said that? | ||
| He really said it. | ||
| I wanted to send you the clip. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And I just wanted to be like, Malcolm, come on, fam. | ||
| He said that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Or something! | ||
| I have to find it. | ||
| He was like, doing stand-up is nothing but... | ||
| And he intellectualized it. | ||
| It's a certain set of thing in the room with people drinking. | ||
| And he tried to like... | ||
| And I want him to feel it. | ||
| I want him to... | ||
| That's like a guy who watches a fight and thinks, oh, fuck that dude up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| And when he said that, I was like, Malcolm, you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, Malcolm! | |
| Come on, man! | ||
| And it's like, I couldn't watch him anymore. | ||
| I was like so angry. | ||
| And I watched a few clips of him here and I was like, man, I miss Malcolm. | ||
| But he needs to know, you can't be If he really said that, he just doesn't understand what it is. | ||
| He might just not understand what it is. | ||
| I want him to take him to a black room. | ||
| I want him to go and stay the realest room. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Go do your thing, man. | ||
| Go do your nonsense. | ||
| I just want to see it. | ||
| Just see him bomb. | ||
| Just feel it. | ||
| Just crackle. | ||
| Feel the heat coming off his body. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| And to me, it was like, man, you wrote a book about 10,000 hours, and you're sitting there going, I can do this. | ||
| It's like, come on, man. | ||
| Don't do that. | ||
| It seems like, but this is what I've been saying about stand-up for a while, is that if you talk to someone, a lot of people have been funny in their life. | ||
| Most people have said something funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| And everyone can talk. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So all you're doing up there is talking, and you say something funny. | ||
| It seems like I can do it. | ||
| Yeah, but you're talking and saying something funny to people who know you and love you and know your quirks and your tics and all that stuff. | ||
| You're in front of strangers who may or may not be in that audience. | ||
| Well, that's the difference, Gene. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever seen this, but there's a lot of people that are maybe podcasters or they do other things and then they're doing stand-up occasionally in front of their crowd. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And they think... | ||
| I think they're doing good stand-up, but then they'll go on in the store, and they'll get sandwiched into a lineup in the OR of murderers, and then it's ugly. | ||
| It gets ugly, because reality sets in. | ||
| Because if they're all there to see you, and they're all your fans, and they paid money to hear you talk, they just want to see you. | ||
| Like, hey, there's the guy from the show! | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yay! | |
| And they've probably never been in the comedy club. | ||
| So if Malcolm is doing these speeches, and he's doing these speeches in front of these large audiences, he's probably said some funny things. | ||
| So he probably thinks that he can do stand-up. | ||
| He's a funny guy. | ||
| But when he got it, I was like, ah, man, I need to find a dude. | ||
| I need to talk to him. | ||
| I don't think people understand what it is. | ||
| It's a very weird art form, because I think it's only truly appreciated... | ||
| By people who've done it. | ||
| Like truly appreciated in terms of what's actually happening. | ||
| And it took me years to realize that what was going on when you're killing is a sort of a form of hypnosis. | ||
| The audience is letting you into their mind and they're letting you think for them. | ||
| That's why when you have clunky shit or you blow yourself up or you have a distorted perception of yourself or you have too many words, it's like annoying, it's frustrating, it's hard for people to absorb. | ||
| You lose some of that grip that you have on them. | ||
| But when someone has an economy of words, and they lock in, and their jokes are tight, and then they keep going and going, you're lost. | ||
| You're lost in their thoughts. | ||
| You just let those people carry you. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| One of my favorite things is to sit in the audience and love someone killing. | ||
| I just go along with them, like, ah! | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| But to break that down to just sentences and words and you say this and you say that, it's not that. | ||
| There's so much more to it. | ||
| So many elements. | ||
| That's why I love watching like... | ||
| You know what I wish? | ||
| I wish there was a stand-up show. | ||
| You know how... | ||
| Like I love... | ||
| Now that some of these ex-NBA players are on ESPN, because now they're speaking about the game from being players. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So you have people who clearly have never played. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, very learned pundits. | ||
| And they go, that ain't it, man. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| You ain't never do this. | ||
| It's this, this, this, this, this. | ||
| That team gonna lose. | ||
| And then the team loses. | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I wish that... | |
| There was a show like that for stand-ups where we could watch a stand-up special. | ||
| We would be real... | ||
| It would be hard, though. | ||
| I know, because you come across as hating, but it's not... | ||
| There's some dog shit specials. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know, I know. | |
| You know, and I know there's something that should have never happened. | ||
| And you watch them, and you'd have to break it down. | ||
| You'd have to go, this is nonsense. | ||
| This is nonsense right here. | ||
| Yeah, but I enjoy figuring out that puzzle. | ||
| Yeah, but we couldn't do it publicly. | ||
| No, I know, fuck. | ||
| You know what I've been doing? | ||
| You know some of my favorite people to do this with? | ||
| Me and Eddie Pep are sitting in the back of the room and just... | ||
| Just tear something apart? | ||
| And it's so fun! | ||
| It's so fun! | ||
| And we both are like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
And then we go up and do our act. | |
| When you see bullshit, bullshit comedy is fun to watch sometimes. | ||
| It's so fun. | ||
| But what I'm saying, I'm fascinated by that thing where... | ||
| We're truth-tellers, we're honest, we spend our whole lives trying to figure out what our truth is, but we can't speak truth about certain things still because it's bad optics, it's bad things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bad optics is a good way of putting it. | |
| My intention is to help it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's why I said I'm not walking around going, this guy sucks. | ||
| I love that you say it's dog shit. | ||
| But I just feel like you should have taken a year. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And this is a good start. | ||
| But that's the case in everything. | ||
| It's the case in fighting. | ||
| There's people that are bad at fighting. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I want to see what that is like. | ||
| There's people that are terrible at it. | ||
| Oh, my gosh. | ||
| And then they try to fight professionally and they get crushed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then there's people that are really good at it. | ||
| And you watch them and you go, oh, I see. | ||
| What's separating the creativity, the aggression, the understanding, the technical aspects of it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| That's the same with stand-up. | ||
| There's people that are mediocre at music. | ||
| There's people that are terrible at poetry. | ||
| There's people that are just... | ||
| Maybe they're still on their early notebooks. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Maybe it's just a journey and they just haven't gotten to the point yet. | ||
| But there's also a thing where you were talking about bits that you would do where you try to get people to think about you a certain way. | ||
| I see a lot of that today. | ||
| You see a lot of this weird woke comedy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Where it's like they're just setting out to try to establish this social justice premise rather than be funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty funny. | |
| But it's almost they're doing it because they think. | ||
| It's the same mentality. | ||
| And it's almost always people that are not really successful yet. | ||
| Maybe they've had a little bit of success at taste. | ||
| But it's the same mentality as those phony actors that haven't made it. | ||
| They don't say, nice to meet you because they might have met you already, so they say, good to see you. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| You know that thing they do! | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| Good to see you! | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| You know, me and my friend, Dwayne Kennedy, we were working on a show one time, and we walked a lot. | ||
| And we would just walk up to people and go, I'm hearing good things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People would be like, ah! | |
| Because it is. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's up there. | |
| Hey, man, I'm hearing good things, man. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Good things. | ||
| Actors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I have a person I know, and her boyfriend is not a comic, an actor that hasn't made it. | ||
| And he's brutal. | ||
| Because all he talks about is, like, that this guy, I don't like his choices. | ||
| Like, you can't even watch a preview with him. | ||
| Oh, gosh. | ||
| Yeah, like, whatever happened to his career? | ||
| Like, bitch, you don't have a career. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Are you shitting on this guy? | ||
| Pay attention to you, and you'll have a busy, busy... | ||
| True. | ||
| Yeah, I know some comics like that. | ||
| Yes, when you're struggling when you're in the struggle. | ||
| Yeah The struggle is a motherfucker because it's a mind fuck and then also the pressure of that struggle Overwhelms you yes, and then when you actually do get a break, it's just so much weight to it You can't carry it Can't carry it. | ||
| Do you have anything now Do you look back at maybe, like, have you seen some comedians, like, because, like, when you're in that struggle, you're not your best self, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So shit could happen. | ||
| For sure, yeah. | ||
| Have you, like, ever, like, made amends or anything, like, you know, or just, like... | ||
| Forgiving people quietly because you understand it now. | ||
| It's kind of like being a parent. | ||
| Before you're a parent, you see the world one way. | ||
| Then you become a parent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Yeah, I talk about that a lot. | ||
| I used to think of people as being... | ||
| I meet a guy, he's 42. Oh, he's always been 42. I'm a very forgiving person. | ||
| I forgive people as often as I can. | ||
| There's no benefit to holding a grudge. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| Especially in our business. | ||
| We're in a wild business where people take chances. | ||
| Wild people that take chances, you gotta cut them breaks. | ||
| Yeah, and I love that you always embrace that. | ||
| You know who else embraces people being who they are? | ||
| Debbie Allen is like that. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's like people want to protect people like that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They kind of walk the world with no judgment. | ||
| I like being like that. | ||
| Like, I love when people do fucked up shit. | ||
| I hope they don't do it to me. | ||
| No, I'm fasting. | ||
| I'm like, I just want to know, yeah, man, whoa, whoa, and then what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Like, I'm not like, well, maybe you shouldn't. | ||
| I'm like, no, yeah, dude, see what happens. | ||
| I like chaos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do. | |
| I encourage it. | ||
| I do. | ||
| But I also, I like people realizing that they fucked up and then talking about their fuck-ups. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| But that's what makes, like I say, it's the difference between greatness and, you know, talented people. | ||
| The people that can embrace it. | ||
| I think transcend. | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| In my opinion. | ||
| It's just a powerful human quality to forgive people. | ||
| Humility. | ||
| Humility is big, but also just being a nice person is so valuable. | ||
| It's so valuable. | ||
| I love hugging people, man. | ||
| One of the things I love most about coming to the store, order the improv, is seeing all my friends. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| We're all in this weird business together. | ||
| But I've been told I'm too nice. | ||
| I've been told I'm too nice. | ||
| Who the fuck told you that? | ||
| Some asshole. | ||
| Well, because I haven't had a special and all that shit. | ||
| That's bullshit. | ||
| You're too nice, man. | ||
| No, you haven't had a special because you concentrated on writing. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| You're not too nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's all bullshit. | ||
| That's crazy, Todd. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, I am. | |
| That's fucking crazy, Todd. | ||
| When things aren't going well, assholes on the outside come up with solutions. | ||
| You're too nice. | ||
| I know what to do different. | ||
| You need to start stealing. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I'm like, I'm too tall to steal, man. | ||
| You need to fire your agent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, what? | |
| He's been with me from the beginning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I think that there's always some solution that they've got. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's a dangerous thing when things aren't going well. | ||
| All you need to do is, people, all you need to do is, you're listening. | ||
| People, even people that are really good, people come up with bad solutions. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, my manager, my own manager, I've had four. | ||
| I found my manager when I was an open miker. | ||
| He found me when I was an open miker in Boston. | ||
| I've had him ever since. | ||
| But in the beginning, he wanted me to be clean. | ||
| He's like, you gotta be clean. | ||
| You gotta be clean. | ||
| Clean your act up. | ||
| Get on TV. Clean your act up. | ||
| But he let it go pretty quickly. | ||
| But it's also because things aren't going well, right? | ||
| You don't have shit going on. | ||
| Nothing's happening. | ||
| So people are like, hmm, how do we make it happen for you? | ||
| You gotta be clean. | ||
| You told me I gotta dress up nice and be clean. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Two pieces of terrible advice. | |
| Let me ask you, do you think there's still value in that? | ||
| Like, um... | ||
| Why don't they have a late night talk show where comics can just do their actual act? | ||
| It would have to be on the internet. | ||
| The problem is all those goddamn people you're talking about. | ||
| Like the same reason why you can never have this fight companion or even this podcast on a network. | ||
| There was too many people would interfere. | ||
| I have a friend who's an executive and he actually talked to me about, you know, there's probably a lot of other things you could do with this show. | ||
| You know, you could do this and you could do... | ||
| I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| You're never going to get a job here. | ||
| You're not going to come over to the wild side. | ||
| You can't handle this. | ||
| This is not you. | ||
| The internet is a different thing, man. | ||
| The internet is a different thing. | ||
| And if you involve the internet and you try to bring the Hollywood people over, they'll just fuck it up. | ||
| They'll just ruin it. | ||
| So if any kind of wild ass late night talk show you have comics sitting around, they'll ruin that. | ||
| You'd have to bring that over here. | ||
| You'd have to bring it over to the dark side and just let people just... | ||
| All you need is a conference table and some fucking cameras and an internet connection. | ||
| Boom, you're on YouTube. | ||
| I'm doing it. | ||
| That's all you need. | ||
| In context with Owen Smith. | ||
| Why not, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll be watching stuff going, man, I want to die. | |
| Dude, every comic should have a podcast just like every comic has a social media. | ||
| It's really that simple to me. | ||
| I'm getting off of that shit, though. | ||
| Social media? | ||
| I'm going to keep it, but I ain't following nobody. | ||
| No offense. | ||
| It's very addictive. | ||
| I unfollowed you this morning. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Because... | ||
| That's my new thing. | ||
| I tell people to their face. | ||
| Yo, I followed you, then unfollowed you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's very distracting. | |
| Yeah, it totally is. | ||
| And I'm like, God damn. | ||
| Looking at pictures of my dog and stupid shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, my dog's right here. | ||
| I can just pet my fuck. | ||
| Why am I doing this? | ||
| It's a time waster. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| So I'm on it. | ||
| Y'all can follow me. | ||
| Owen Smith for real, whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| No, for real, man. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| I'm not following nobody. | ||
| I'm trying to get rid of all my Twitter followers. | ||
| If I know you and I see you, I'm going to engage that way. | ||
| I'm only going to post stuff that I feel is funny and fun or whatever. | ||
| It's a good promotional tool. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| You have to be worried about the addictive nature of social media. | ||
| It's very addictive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's very hard to... | ||
| When I take a shit in the morning, I'll go over my email first, see if there's any important. | ||
| See if there's anything funny on Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then Lil Duvall always makes me laugh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's hilarious. | |
| I go to his shit first. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Him and Kyle Dunnigan are the best follows on Instagram. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| He's from the Bahamas. | ||
| I was born in the Bahamas. | ||
| He's so funny, man. | ||
| I sold the show to ABC and I wrote it. | ||
| And they were asking me, like, who do you want to star in it? | ||
| And I wanted Lil Duval to star in it. | ||
| And the whole network thing, I was like... | ||
| Plus, I don't even know if he's fucking with TV now because his music career is like... | ||
| He's doing so well with performing live. | ||
| It would be a demotion. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The dude has planes. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He has two planes. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Isn't it crazy hearing him talk about it? | ||
| But I just think he's so... | ||
| You trust him. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's certain when you see him, you know his goal is to be funny, and you just trust it. | ||
| Even though he hasn't, quote-unquote, been number one on a call sheet before, I was like, man, this dude would be... | ||
| He would be murderous. | ||
| But it's too late. | ||
| He's free already. | ||
| They passed on the show, so I didn't have to go do with the casting thing anyway. | ||
| But in the back of my mind, I was like, man, he would be the perfect guy. | ||
| If you had a show that was produced by people that you respect... | ||
| You? | ||
| Yeah, and other comics and really intelligent people that you trusted, that would be a different experience. | ||
| Completely. | ||
| And it wouldn't even feel like work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it would have to be people whose lives didn't depend on the success of the show. | ||
| Oh, that's so important. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Because you could feel that shit, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Especially with notes and all of that. | ||
| But again, like I say... | ||
| I chose to look at it as a challenge. | ||
| I just go, what is this? | ||
| Let me see how I can, you know... | ||
| Well, it clearly benefits your stand-up writing because you have this... | ||
| Your stand-up, you vary widely in your subjects. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you also, you have this approach. | ||
| You have a very comprehensive approach to subjects. | ||
| You examine subjects well. | ||
| I think a lot of that comes from your writing and a lot of that comes from also dealing with network notes and dealing with executives. | ||
| There's a benefit, but the benefit's done. | ||
| You already got all the good parts of that. | ||
| You gotta break free of the tit. | ||
| Gotta break free, man. | ||
| So there it is. | ||
| TextOwen.com You could do so many different things, man. | ||
| All right, I'm going to talk to you. | ||
| You could do so many different things. | ||
| I'm going to hit you up. | ||
| And if you want to do some gigs with me, I've got a bunch of gigs. | ||
| I'm announcing a giant tour tomorrow. | ||
| Yay! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey, we just announced it today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Does this come out tomorrow or is this out today? | ||
| This will come out. | ||
| When does this come out? | ||
| Tomorrow. | ||
| Yeah, tomorrow. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| So, ha-ha. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| Tomorrow meaning today. | ||
| So, I'm announcing a giant tour today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's great, man. | |
| Yay. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yes, I want to. | ||
| Let's do some gigs. | ||
| Let's do it, man. | ||
| I'd love to take you out with me. | ||
| I would love it, man. | ||
| Let's do some arenas. | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Ah! | ||
| What's the biggest place you ever performed at? | ||
| Radio City Music Hall. | ||
| How many is that? | ||
| Russell Peters. | ||
| Maybe 6,000? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| And let me tell you, the comedy store, my training in the comedy store prepared me for that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because at the run-through, I was like, how am I going to play this? | ||
| Because it just goes up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When I was on stage, the way it's set intimately, it felt like D.O.R., Really? | ||
| It felt like DLR. So from a technical perspective, I just had to stand there and trust the material. | ||
| And then when I would act out something, it was so much more effective than the first instinct. | ||
| Like, I got to work this stage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| It's like, if I was like a couple of, you know, just because of my build and my height, I was trying to figure out what's the best way to like connect. | ||
| Some people like to pace. | ||
| Yeah, and pacing is fine, but... | ||
| It's got to be in you. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And... | ||
| Sometimes I pace, but the more I know it, the stiller I can get. | ||
| And then I can play. | ||
| Now I'm playing, you know what I mean? | ||
| So it's just the work of it all. | ||
| So when I did Radio City, I stood there, man. | ||
| It destroyed that. | ||
| It was fun as fuck. | ||
| I love arenas because you forget when... | ||
| The drinks are being bought in and the tabs are being dropped. | ||
| You don't have that. | ||
| Like, they're actually just there. | ||
| And you're like, oh, shit! | ||
| Like, it's just a different... | ||
| Has he done one in the round yet? | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| I can't wait, man. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| You can pace it around. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| That'd be fun as fuck, man. | ||
| Like, I just... | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I get chills just thinking of, like... | ||
| When I first started... | ||
| A few auditoriums I did, then a few arenas... | ||
| Not arenas. | ||
| Theaters. | ||
| Theaters. | ||
| I was like, oh shit, this is what I, this is, like, I'm that, like, I love that shit. | ||
| Well, especially for your style of comedy, too. | ||
| Yeah, love it, man. | ||
| You have comedy, too, that's got plenty of room to think about what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and that's what you, in the theater, you gotta kind of slow things down a little bit, because I remember I went to watch Louis Black, me and Joey Diaz. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Watched Louis Black. | ||
| He was performing a night before I was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And we flew in early, and Joey was like, let's go across the street, because that was where the theater was. | ||
| And so we got in, we sat down, and I realized that when he's in New Jersey, the theater didn't have the best sound. | ||
| Not that New Jersey has bad sounds. | ||
| But when he was in the middle of his, he was killing, he had this big laugh, and then he would say a tagline, and I couldn't hear the tagline because everybody around me was laughing. | ||
| And then I realized, like, oh, you've got to hold these taglines a little in a place like this because the laughter is too loud because you actually hear people next to you going, ha, ha, ha, ha! | ||
| You can't hear what the fuck he's saying unless the volume is so overwhelming like you got to know and then on stage It's hard to realize that because there's the monitors and the monitors are you know You can hear yourself very loudly, but you might not the people in the audience might not be able to hear it It is a different pacing thing. | ||
| I love it though, man. | ||
| This is so interesting about that is when you What I like to do sometimes is look at what other acts come to that venue. | ||
| And a lot of times if it's like jazz ensembles or things where it's not a lot of laughter in that space, you gotta remember It's 52 weeks in a year. | ||
| Maybe four of those weeks, it's us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every time, it's like, it's dance. | ||
| It's all these other things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, doing this shit. | ||
| So yeah, the place is even like, what the fuck is all this noise? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Consistent at a rapid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So yeah, you do, it bounces and you gotta like just... | ||
| That's different. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| What's your thing that you do when people are laughing a lot? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, if you got a lot of laughs, you know, some people like to do that fake laugh. | ||
| If I laugh, it's because I'm laughing. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| I don't have a fake laugh. | ||
| Yeah, I know what you're talking about. | ||
| The old school cats could take a puff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what's your... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Just in the moment, man. | ||
| I stay in the moment. | ||
| I try to stay in the moment. | ||
| But I definitely never give off a fake laugh. | ||
| If I'm laughing, it's because I think it's funny in the moment. | ||
| There's a grossness to fake laughs that I just can't tolerate. | ||
| I see guys fake laugh, even good comics sometimes. | ||
| I want to go, please stop doing that. | ||
| I know, I know. | ||
| Please stop. | ||
| Because sometimes it's funny. | ||
| Sometimes it really is funny. | ||
| But if you're lying to me, you're pretending you think this is hysterical right now when you said it 150 times in a row exactly the same way. | ||
| And you're pretending like you just realized how funny it is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, I had a tagline the other night that I never used before, and right after I said it, I started cracking up. | ||
| It cracked you up. | ||
| That's the best, though. | ||
| It came out of nowhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I realized, like, I had a point in the middle of this bit, and I said the point, and they're like, bah! | ||
| Because it was so ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it was also real. | ||
| Like, in the moment, I came up with it, I ad-libbed, I said it on the spot, and then I started laughing. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Those are real laughs, but I don't hardly ever... | ||
| Laugh along. | ||
| Unless I'm really... | ||
| I might be real high. | ||
| If I'm real high, I'm real silly. | ||
| Sometimes I'm just... | ||
| You know, most of the time I'm in the groove, right? | ||
| I'm just thinking about what I'm doing. | ||
| I'm just trying to do it my best. | ||
| But there's times when I'm up there, I'm like, man, I can't believe I get to do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Can't believe it. | ||
| Remember, go back to thinking about the time when you were 19, you're watching Chris and Tony, and then think now. | ||
| You know, you get to do it in the best comedy clubs in the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's just the greatest job on earth. | ||
| There's nothing like it. | ||
| There's nothing like it. | ||
| And so that brings me back to Malcolm Gladwell, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Malcolm, you're crazy. | |
| We'll see you in these comedy streets, fam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on, Malcolm. | |
| Malcolm, I'll pull you up on one of my nights. | ||
| I really wanted to talk to him. | ||
| I want you to go on right after always. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, yes! | |
| Yeah, follow me, son. | ||
| Or open. | ||
| That might be even uglier. | ||
| Oh my gosh. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No warm-up? | |
| I was like, for real, ask my wife. | ||
| I couldn't listen to him for a minute. | ||
| And that was my man, because he had these podcasts when he was dissecting stuff. | ||
| But he's a brilliant guy. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| And sometimes brilliant people overestimate their perceptions. | ||
| They overestimate their ability to break something down. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, I've had conversations with people about fighting that way, where people say, hey, if anybody ever came up to me, I would do this, and then I would do that. | ||
| Like, they say that, and I'm like, oh, okay. | ||
| This is hard for me to hear. | ||
| I'm just going to let you talk, because really, I want to just tackle you right now and choke the life out of you. | ||
| Wait, I wasn't ready. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wasn't ready! | |
| But people have this idea, because a person moves in a way that's similar to the way that they can move. | ||
| They think, I could do that. | ||
| I lift weights. | ||
| I'll fuck that guy up. | ||
| They have these ideas, and they think, oh, he's out there talking. | ||
| I'm a brilliant guy. | ||
| I'm smarter than them. | ||
| I understand things. | ||
| I write. | ||
| I'm always performing, because I'm always talking about this. | ||
| Stand-up would be easy. | ||
| I literally yelled. | ||
| I said, Malcolm, what did I do to you? | ||
| I think it's so personal. | ||
| Like, why are you attacking my thing, man? | ||
| Before I criticize him, I'd have to hear his exact quote. | ||
| Yeah, I gotta send it to you. | ||
| Have we found it? | ||
| He was feeling saucy. | ||
| It's him and another guy. | ||
| He was talking about jobs that are really hard, and he picked stand-up comedy, and there's a couple quotes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That guy... | |
| It was a podcast they did somewhere, like an interview. | ||
| So you saw it in quotes? | ||
| Can I see the quotes? | ||
| It wasn't very clear. | ||
| But basically, give me your synopsis of it then. | ||
| He thought people were too drunk, so it was really easy. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The room was set up for them. | ||
| They're coming to see them, so it's easier. | ||
| He just doesn't know. | ||
| The guy's a very singular... | ||
| He must have been one or two stand-up shows. | ||
| Well, he's right sometimes, though. | ||
| He's right sometimes. | ||
| We've all seen shows where people are laughing at bullshit. | ||
| I didn't want to hear from him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, he doesn't know. | ||
| If there was a show and you went on and Jessel Neck went on and Diaz, maybe Louis C.K. dropped in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Dave Chappelle did 10 minutes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Malcolm, go. | |
| Malcolm, get up there. | ||
| Good fucking luck not having a heart attack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right. | |
| Go have fun, man. | ||
| Go, go, go. | ||
| But he's also right in that we've all seen mediocre thoughts get passed off and the audience laughs. | ||
| There's certain clubs, I don't want to mention any names, but you can go to them any night of the week in Burbank or in North Hollywood and you can see dog shit comedy and people are laughing. | ||
| They're laughing and it's like real clunky. | ||
| Low rent. | ||
| What if that's the only... | ||
| What if that's where he was? | ||
| Like in those rooms? | ||
| It could be where he was. | ||
| Straight B rooms. | ||
| But I mean, there's the difference between... | ||
| Talking about any sport, right? | ||
| You could watch someone do it poorly on a playground, or you could watch someone do it exquisitely as a professional. | ||
| And you go, oh, here it is. | ||
| Gladwell stated, comedians deal with people in a tightly controlled setting in that he cannot imagine an easier set of circumstances for navigating a social situation than that of a stand-up comedian. | ||
| They go to Vegas, they go to the comedy cellar, they control their environments. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Oh man, I was like... | ||
| What is this article that's shitting on it? | ||
| What's it from? | ||
| Malcolm Gladwell Fails Stand-Up Comedy 101. Yes! | ||
| So who wrote that? | ||
| See, that's how I felt. | ||
| What is the person who wrote it? | ||
| Does it have their name anywhere? | ||
| I had it somewhere. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's the guy, it's the.com, NathanTimmel.com. | ||
| NathanTimmel.com. | ||
| Is Nathan a comic? | ||
| Yeah, well, he's right. | ||
| Nathan's right. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, Malcolm's right in a sense. | ||
| He's right in a sense. | ||
| But what he doesn't understand is there's a mind wrestling that's going on before you actually go and do that. | ||
| And to sort of diminish the difficulty of that, it just shows that you haven't done it. | ||
| That's what it felt like. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so I was like, damn, I can't. | ||
| Because he said it in the same exact voice he says everything else in. | ||
| So when he's breaking down something I really want to hear him dissect. | ||
| He's so brilliant in so many different ways. | ||
| I couldn't shake it. | ||
| That 10,000 hour shit. | ||
| He wrote Outliers, right? | ||
| That's him, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That book is amazing. | ||
| It talks about the Beatles. | ||
| People think the Beatles came out of nowhere. | ||
| Those motherfuckers did thousands and thousands of shows. | ||
| That's what's up. | ||
| It's just numbers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's numbers and concentration and focus and just that being what you really want. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's not just numbers. | ||
| It's numbers of like passion, numbers of focus. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's wrong. | ||
| He's wrong, but I get it. | ||
| I get why he thinks that. | ||
| It is a tightly controlled environment, but it's so easy to bomb in that tightly controlled environment. | ||
| He has no idea. | ||
| That's an A room. | ||
| Some rooms are tightly controlled environments. | ||
| But starting, we didn't always perform in tightly controlled environments. | ||
| No. | ||
| Bowling alleys, fucking backyards, bars. | ||
| Yeah, there's so many other spots where you also have to make comedy happen. | ||
| Spaces where there's a big moat between you and the audience. | ||
| Dude, I did a Jack and Jill strip club. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| A Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket, Rhode Island. | ||
| The last thing they want to see is you. | ||
| There was a guy named Brian Deary. | ||
| He used to book these gigs. | ||
| I think he's still around. | ||
| He used to book these gigs in Rhode Island. | ||
| And some of them were great, but occasionally they were terrible. | ||
| And this one, as far as I know, I think I was a one and done. | ||
| I think they killed it after either. | ||
| Because there was only like four people in the crowd. | ||
| And I went up and there was a guy and a girl. | ||
| Jack and Jill's strip club was an old concept that didn't really take off where couples would go and a guy would go and strip and a girl would go and strip. | ||
| And they both looked like their parents drank while they were in the womb. | ||
| They both had terrible tattoos. | ||
| This guy had terrible tattoos and he had them covered with bandanas. | ||
| So he had bandanas around his arm, and you could see the shitty tattoo poking out of the bottom. | ||
| And he was built goofy. | ||
| He was built like a guy who lifts weights, but he drinks every night. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Strong pot-bellied dude. | ||
| He wasn't like, if you go to Vegas and you see those men from Down Under, they're all six-pack looking ripped. | ||
| There was nothing like that with him or her. | ||
| They were both disgusting. | ||
| They're both disgusting. | ||
| And I'd like to say I bombed, but bombing usually you hear some noise. | ||
| Like people are mad at you, you suck, poo. | ||
| They were not even recognizing that I was talking. | ||
| So I got off stage and there was like a little pool table in the back. | ||
| And there was a dude who just happened to be in town because his family lived there, because it was around the holidays, and his family lived in Rhode Island, and he just wanted to get out of the house, so he came to this local bar. | ||
| And he goes, hey, what the fuck is this place? | ||
| And I go, what are you doing here? | ||
| And he goes, I'm just here. | ||
| My fucking family lives around here, and I just came here because there's nowhere else to go. | ||
| What the fuck is this place? | ||
| This is so strange! | ||
| And he and I had a game of pool, and we were laughing. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, I'll never forget it. | ||
| It was so strange. | ||
| It was so strange. | ||
| That's not a controlled environment. | ||
| Those gigs? | ||
| Those gigs season you, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| You develop a crust. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| A layer of protection where you could go up in front of those people. | ||
| Yes, and you also know when you get offered those gigs what it's going to be like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just by the tone. | ||
| I mean, it's going to be great. | ||
| It's always packed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| Okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Where is it again? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But there were some that were always packed. | ||
| There were some gigs that I'd get old school shitty bar gigs that were fun, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They were wild. | ||
| They made me because they fed me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Those gigs fed me when I was poor. | ||
| But every situation is different. | ||
| He basically saw the Lakers of stand-up. | ||
| And he thinks it looks easy because they make it look easy. | ||
| He falls into that trap. | ||
| That's all for him. | ||
| My wife is calling me. | ||
| That's like thinking that someone's making something, thinking that something's easy because someone's a master. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like, did you ever see that video where Michael Jordan came out of retirement? | ||
| No, he didn't come out of retirement, but he had retired. | ||
| But there was a player who had been talking shit about him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| You saw that? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And when Mike came back, he... | ||
| They played one-on-one. | ||
| They played one-on-one. | ||
| And he just destroyed them. | ||
| But he did it laughing and joking. | ||
| He made it look so easy. | ||
| And then the guy realized, oh, there's levels! | ||
| I do that sometimes. | ||
| Because you know what else happens out here? | ||
| We'll be working stuff out. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Working stuff out. | ||
| So I'm not in the gear that I would be in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Because I'm figuring it out. | ||
| And this is a safe space to try to figure it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So you might see some people like, you know, whatever. | ||
| He struggled after me. | ||
| I'd be like, all right, put me in front of you. | ||
| And then I would just... | ||
| Do your best shit. | ||
| And I would make sure I could see they face while I'm doing it. | ||
| And they were like, oh shit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That taking the chances. | ||
| Look, Chris Rock does that better than anybody. | ||
| I've seen Chris Rock go on after people killed. | ||
| I mean, killed. | ||
| He gets this giant round of applause and he goes, relax, relax. | ||
| This shit ain't gonna be funny. | ||
| This shit is not gonna be that funny. | ||
| I'm going to tell you right now, there's all new shit I'm working out. | ||
| It ain't that good. | ||
| And he'll walk around and joke and laugh and say, it's not that good. | ||
| And he'll bring everybody down, calm them down, and then purposely fuck around. | ||
| Damon Wayans used to do that too. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| Damon Wayans, he's one of the unheralded greats. | ||
| He's doing it again. | ||
| Yeah, he is doing it again, but he's also doing sitcoms again, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He was going to do... | ||
| We had actually talked about doing a podcast. | ||
| He was into it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah? | |
| Oh, I was there that night. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| The improv upstairs. | ||
| But then he's like, he doesn't want to say anything crazy. | ||
| Oh, because he's got a show. | ||
| Netflix stuff. | ||
| Network stuff. | ||
| Smoking Reed. | ||
| Get some drinks going. | ||
| Some ice starts clinking. | ||
| Start talking shit. | ||
| Oh, he's got some stories. | ||
| Look, he had a joke about Magic Johnson way back in the days when Magic went back to playing when he had HIV. I'll never forget this. | ||
| Everybody was afraid to cover Magic, except for Dennis Rodman. | ||
| Dennis Rodman was like, motherfucker, I fucked Madonna. | ||
| I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. | ||
| To this day, that was one of the best jokes I ever heard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. | |
| This motherfucker has fucked Madonna. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Yo. | ||
| You don't realize how complete Damon is, man. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| I got to witness, like, the stuff he says between the lines is so complete. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He's so fucking good. | ||
| He should be recognized as one of the greatest of all time, but he went and did a bunch of TV shows. | ||
| And while he was doing those TV shows, you know, he did clubs and he fucked around a little bit like that, but he didn't dedicate to it the same way maybe Cat Williams did or some other guys did that became huge. | ||
| And had a bunch of big time specials in that era, but he still got it. | ||
| He could still do it right now. | ||
| Damon, if he wanted to go on tour and start hitting theaters and start doing a Netflix special, he would blow people away. | ||
| Destroy. | ||
| He was one of the people that showed me it was okay to be tall and funny. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Oh, we've talked about this, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Goddamn. | |
| And he was cool. | ||
| He was cool, but then he could get goofy. | ||
| He was silly. | ||
| Man. | ||
| He was silly. | ||
| But he goddamn was a great writer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great writer, great performer, and part of one of the great... | ||
| Look, there's two greatest sketch... | ||
| Well, there's a couple other ones that are... | ||
| But pound for pound funny. | ||
| There's In Living Color and number one is Chappelle's Show. | ||
| Now, Chappelle's Show is number one because it only really lasted two years. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And still to this day has some of the most legendary sketches of all time. | ||
| Clayton Bigsby, one of the most legendary sketches of all time. | ||
| All the Rick James shit. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Legendary. | ||
| Legendary. | ||
| But in Living Color in that era. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That era, that was the show for that era. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Damon was a giant part of that, and Kenan. | ||
| It was stuff you had to see. | ||
| You would race home to see. | ||
| You couldn't, yeah. | ||
| But Damon's somewhere along the line. | ||
| The world was a different place back then, but he had decided that he was going to do movies. | ||
| Remember he was in The Last Boy Scout with Bruce Willis? | ||
| He was a movie star. | ||
| He was doing action movies. | ||
| And then he got that sitcom. | ||
| He did that sitcom for a long time, and The problem with sitcoms is they give you that juicy check every week. | ||
| If you're a famous guy who's the lead of a sitcom, guys like Kevin James, you never have to work again. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| For life. | ||
| You get that juicy check? | ||
| That juicy the show went for six years check? | ||
| Like, oh boy. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Oh boy. | ||
| You don't have to do nothing. | ||
| But it's a trap. | ||
| It's a trap for someone who's a great comic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because at the end of the day, it's never going to be as good as doing stand-up. | ||
| It's never going to feel as good. | ||
| There's a thing about when it pops. | ||
| There's a thing about when you hear a dude pop in the main room. | ||
| Like, you're in the back green room and you hear... | ||
| Like, you open the door and lean in. | ||
| Like, what's going on? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| What happened? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| That's my professional life. | ||
| out of all the things I've done, whether it's a UFC or podcasts or TV shows, the pop of someone murdering at a club where you're hanging out and you watch someone just destroying. | ||
| Joey Diaz did this bit about Terry Crews that they cut out of his Netflix special. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was too risky for the internet? | ||
| It was too crazy. | ||
| Netflix was like, fuck you. | ||
| Because it was a Me Too thing. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| But it was basically saying that, like, it was basically mocking Terry Crews. | ||
| Like, was Terry Crews threatened? | ||
| Because he's a goddamn fucking super athlete. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, Terry Crews is a massive man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the idea that some agent touching his dick was actually terrifying is so ridiculous. | ||
| But Joey Diaz had this bit about, you shouldn't have done that underwear commercial. | ||
| Ah! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're bouncing your titties with that giant fucking hog. | |
| I'm not doing it any justice. | ||
| He doesn't do it anymore, unfortunately. | ||
| But that bit, me and Santino, we were in the back of the OR. Literally, we couldn't stay in the chair. | ||
| We were on the ground. | ||
| We were just clinging to the table, just hanging on. | ||
| And Joey's screaming, and his sweat's flying off of him, and he's beet red. | ||
| Those are my favorite moments in life when someone hits those pops. | ||
| You don't get those pops when you do a sitcom. | ||
| You get a lot of money. | ||
| You get everybody making you bagels. | ||
| It's wonderful. | ||
| You got a parking spot. | ||
| But it's a velvet prison. | ||
| Do you think your insecurity rises when you are being coddled and treated like that? | ||
| Mine does. | ||
| Yeah, I was wondering. | ||
| Yeah, mine does. | ||
| I got fortunate in that when I did Fear Factor, I never stopped doing stand-up. | ||
| Never stopped. | ||
| I was always at the store. | ||
| Always. | ||
| I was scared. | ||
| Because I had fucked up during news radio. | ||
| When I was on news radio, I went for a long stretch where I was barely doing stand-up. | ||
| Because we were long hours. | ||
| When a sitcom is first getting... | ||
| It's trying to figure it out. | ||
| It's like 12-hour days. | ||
| Yeah, it's long. | ||
| I would do sets, but I wasn't writing any new material. | ||
| And then I had a writer, one of the writers, and one of the producers came to see me and I ate shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Bombed hard. | ||
| In the main room, like a late show on a Friday night. | ||
| Friday or Saturday. | ||
| I ate shit. | ||
| I tanked. | ||
| I was so nervous. | ||
| And I see them, and they were real close. | ||
| They were like fourth row, and I'm like, oh my god, this is embarrassing. | ||
| And there was only maybe 30 people in the whole crowd. | ||
| It was a tiny crowd. | ||
| Ray Romano's in the back like, this is who you hire? | ||
| He was already killing it with Everybody Loves Raymond by then. | ||
| He was happy. | ||
| And Ray was a friend of mine, still is. | ||
| But I was happy that I didn't take his job. | ||
| I took the job of the dude who took his job. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| For me, it was like, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| This is okay. | ||
| But when I did that, I realized, okay, I'm fucking off here. | ||
| I'm just doing this sitcom and I'm losing the thing that I love. | ||
| I'm not good anymore. | ||
| I sucked. | ||
| And then a year later, I wound up doing my Warner Brothers special. | ||
| My Warner Brothers CD. I really got my shit together again. | ||
| I really did. | ||
| I started doing multiple sets around town. | ||
| I started writing a lot more. | ||
| I started really taking it seriously. | ||
| Because I realized, you can't do that. | ||
| You can't fall apart. | ||
| You can't just start bombing. | ||
| Nah, man. | ||
| Nah, man. | ||
| But you get soft, man. | ||
| You can get soft. | ||
| And they were making me soft, too. | ||
| One of the producers was like, why are you still doing stand-up? | ||
| You're an actor now. | ||
| But that's what everybody wanted. | ||
| Even Seinfeld took time off. | ||
| He did Seinfeld and then stopped doing stand-up. | ||
| A lot of people got brought into that trap. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's hard to get hired as a writer, too, because it's almost... | ||
| I'm learning. | ||
| It's almost like the difference between improv cats and stand-up cats, right? | ||
| So if you're a writer, if that's what you do, you write, then... | ||
| They may have a certain bias or feel a certain type of way towards a comic that writes. | ||
| And it's like, oh, okay. | ||
| It's like you deal with it everywhere. | ||
| Because you can always leave. | ||
| Always! | ||
| And you always have. | ||
| And you basically, you're sitting in a room and you got two jobs. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So it's like, we got this job, but I'm also going to do this other job. | ||
| Nobody with one job wants to sit next to somebody with two jobs. | ||
| I totally get it, you know what I mean? | ||
| Especially with comedy, because their comedy is kind of unproven. | ||
| They think they're funny, but how do you know you're funny? | ||
| How do you really know? | ||
| I've always wondered that. | ||
| I was like, that's a courageous thing to invest. | ||
| That is so courageous, right? | ||
| You're a comedy writer, and you don't even perform. | ||
| How do you know if it's funny? | ||
| Who told you you're funny? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Who told you? | ||
| Are you sure, Malcolm Gladwell? | ||
| No, because I really want to listen to him again. | ||
| We need to talk, man. | ||
| He's right and he's wrong. | ||
| If he was here right now, I'm sure he would see our perspectives. | ||
| Right, and then I could listen to him again because I miss it. | ||
| He's right, though. | ||
| In certain ways, he's right. | ||
| It's a very controlled environment. | ||
| Based on what he saw. | ||
| But you know what else? | ||
| I read an article by another guy. | ||
| Here's the thing that's happening, too. | ||
| People who aren't that strong in comedy... | ||
| Are writing articles about comedy. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like in national. | ||
| Who wrote this? | ||
| I've seen him. | ||
| He's not. | ||
| What? | ||
| She's terrible. | ||
| Why are they speaking for us? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And you're like, comedians are not a monolith. | |
| I read this article. | ||
| This woman wrote about men not being funny. | ||
| And I've seen her act talking about forcing men to eat her pussy. | ||
| And it's one of the worst bits I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| I'm like, this is hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| But yet she was able to write that thing on that platform. | ||
| And it's like an amazing thing that's happening. | ||
| Everybody's a pundit. | ||
| Everybody's got an opinion. | ||
| Well, if there's money to be made in clicks, that's what it is. | ||
| Especially if you're writing an article shitting on someone who's done something wrong, like Louis C.K. or someone else, or Aziz Ansari, someone who's gotten in trouble. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Right. | ||
| And you go after them, and they know that, like, that's why the pylon happens, because it gets people's attention. | ||
| It's a very profitable, lucrative venture. | ||
| It is very, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But yeah, there's a lot of people writing stories or articles about comedy where they're dismissive. | ||
| They don't understand. | ||
| They don't really truly understand what they're talking about. | ||
| Yeah, it's like so many gaps. | ||
| You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? | ||
| And yeah, all that stuff annoys me. | ||
| And, um... | ||
| I don't carry it much, but it was so funny because when I sat here, I was like, oh yeah, Malcolm Gladwell sat here. | ||
| Let me tell you about him. | ||
| Jerry Seinfeld did something like that one time too. | ||
| He was on HBO talking to Bob Costas about comedy. | ||
| I'm like, why is this happening? | ||
| And Jerry said, I don't know who the next people are. | ||
| These young comedians don't study. | ||
| I took great offense to that. | ||
| They don't study? | ||
| He said they don't study. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| He said they don't know, they don't study the craft, or they don't know, I guess, who came before them or whatever. | ||
| Generalizations like that are so crazy to say. | ||
| So I'm at Homosa Beach Comedy Magic Club, and Jimmy Brogan, who I call the comic whisperer, He goes, you know, Jerry's performing. | ||
| You want to come down? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| So I go watch Jerry perform, and then he invites me in the green room. | ||
| And when I see Jerry, I couldn't help myself. | ||
| I go, hey, man, you can't be going on TV saying comedians don't study. | ||
| He goes, I know you. | ||
| Hey, man, whatever, man. | ||
| Because I study. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You're dismissing a whole generation. | ||
| People listen to you. | ||
| He goes, all right, man. | ||
| I'm fine. | ||
| You want a cigar? | ||
| Have a seat. | ||
| So then I sit down and I look to my left. | ||
| It's Jay Leno. | ||
| It's like Kevin Nealon. | ||
| It's like all these heavy hitters. | ||
| But I just saw him and just had to put it. | ||
| Hey, yo, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| But sometimes people say things and they're just talking. | ||
| They don't even know if they have a point. | ||
| They're just hoping they could formulate it as they're talking. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Right, but I can't let it go. | ||
| I'm like, I gotta find this guy! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right, and he was right too to let it go, to agree with you. | |
| He was so chill. | ||
| He was like, hey, all right, man. | ||
| Want a cigar? | ||
| And I sat there. | ||
| That was easy. | ||
| Mark Norman, who's a friend of mine, does gigs with him. | ||
| He says he's great. | ||
| He said Jerry's a great guy. | ||
| I believe it, man. | ||
| And he just... | ||
| Well, he still is doing it, and he's got $500 million in the bank, and he's still doing it. | ||
| Dude, he's been doing it. | ||
| Well, since the 80s. | ||
| He's always working on it, honing it. | ||
| He still does it. | ||
| He still does it. | ||
| Legitimately. | ||
| Basically, he's one of those guys that did what you're telling me to do. | ||
| You've got to trust it all the way. | ||
| And you've just got to do it. | ||
| When you say, how do I write? | ||
| Some days when all I do is write comedy, I go, God damn, why don't I do this all the time? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I could take my bitch so... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You know, and it's the best. | ||
| You know how you said that you're consistently inconsistent? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's a hallmark of a funny person. | ||
| It's a strange thing. | ||
| Like, most comics are... | ||
| We are very impulsive, crazy people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, we don't necessarily have discipline. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know? | ||
| I'm just very fortunate that I was involved in something else before comedy that required discipline because your fucking physical health is on the line. | ||
| Like, I had to have discipline. | ||
| I was gonna get my brains kicked in. | ||
| So, like, that transferred over to stand-up. | ||
| But it's so easy to fuck off, man. | ||
| When I come home from the comedy store and it's late at night, a lot of times I just want to go to sleep. | ||
| I don't want to do anything. | ||
| I want to watch TV. I want to fuck off. | ||
| But I sit in front of that goddamn laptop. | ||
| I sit in front of that laptop. | ||
| I'll spark a joint. | ||
| I'll go outside. | ||
| I'll spark a joint. | ||
| That's the best punch-up. | ||
| Stare at the sky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come back inside and stare at that laptop, and then I'll start writing. | ||
| And I'll force myself. | ||
| I'll say, I'm going to do one hour. | ||
| Maybe I'll do more than one hour, but I'm definitely going to do one hour. | ||
| And I set a timer. | ||
| That's the best punch-up. | ||
| Did I ever tell you my Mitch Hedberg story? | ||
| Which one? | ||
| I did Acid with him. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| When I was 26. That's a great story. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| So me and Mitch met at the Chicago Comedy Festival. | ||
| And we clicked, right? | ||
| And we walk around. | ||
| I was living in Chicago at the time. | ||
| And we walked around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was like, yo, oh, I'm about to be rich, man. | |
| He had just signed this deal or whatever in Montreal. | ||
| I couldn't get Montreal to, like, look at me. | ||
| He had just crushed it in Montreal. | ||
| He goes... | ||
| I'm about to be rich, man. | ||
| He pulls out this Velcro wallet. | ||
| And he goes, you see this ring? | ||
| I live in Seattle. | ||
| I used to pawn this ring so I could eat. | ||
| And then I would go eat and get a gig and then buy it back. | ||
| I won't have to do that no more. | ||
| So he just sounds some big deal. | ||
| So he needed a shirt for his HBO half hour special, the one where he's sitting on the steps. | ||
| And so I helped him pick out that shirt. | ||
| And then I had a gig in Minnesota, like after the festival, he goes, can I ride with you? | ||
| So we road trip to Minnesota because he was from St. Paul. | ||
| I spent a night in his home. | ||
| And that's when I learned he was like a chef and all that stuff. | ||
| So we really clicked and we were bumping to each other on the road. | ||
| We were in Houston. | ||
| And he goes, when I decided I wanted to do comedy, I had asked it. | ||
| I took a hit of acid. | ||
| I got my notebook, and everything I saw, I wrote. | ||
| And I was like, I won't be funny like that! | ||
| So I did acid with him. | ||
| And we're both in this hotel room. | ||
| It was a woman who was a dealer. | ||
| And she came over in the hotel room. | ||
| And that's when I learned where cartoons come from. | ||
| Like, everything I saw was like a fucking cartoon. | ||
| And I was tripping, man. | ||
| And he videotaped me. | ||
| Tripping. | ||
| And I'm going... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why is A, A? Why is B, B? Why is the letter green, green? | |
| Who said green? | ||
| Who said the letter? | ||
| And I was doing it. | ||
| He's videotaping me and he literally goes, I clearly remember him going, you should do this on stage. | ||
| Take me some more. | ||
| And I go, stay, stay, stay! | ||
| I'm like scatting, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I'm seeing all this thing. | ||
| And then I started... | ||
| I was on this whole thing. | ||
| All I kept thinking about was pussy, right? | ||
| And I was dating this girl. | ||
| And this is back when you used a calling card. | ||
| And I only knew two numbers by heart. | ||
| My mom's number and hers. | ||
| And I was like, I pray that I'm calling the girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| As I was talking to her on the phone, and I was on the bed, and I was like, I want your pussy. | ||
| Like, all that shit. | ||
| She said, are you high? | ||
| You know, just fucking up the whole thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I go, yeah, don't do anything. | |
| Don't jump. | ||
| And I was like, why are you putting that shit in my head? | ||
| Like, because whatever she saw, I could see, like, I could physically see it. | ||
| And then I look over in the bed next to me, and Mitch is, like, fucking the girl that bought the thing. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, shit, I'm in an orgy, but not really. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| I'm on the phone. | ||
| He's actually doing it. | ||
| I'm virtual reality. | ||
| And then, like, my body started shaking and the whole shit, like, left my body. | ||
| And so that's how, like, you know, that was my experience. | ||
| I never did it again. | ||
| Never desired to do it again, but I did it with Mitch. | ||
| And it was like this crazy thing. | ||
| And so we used to... | ||
| We would do colleges... | ||
| Separate of one another, and we would leave each other notes and shit, you know? | ||
| And he would be like, kill it, man, or whatever. | ||
| And one time I was doing some college in buttfuck Pennsylvania. | ||
| No, it was some buttfuck, but it was somewhere in Pennsylvania. | ||
| And he had just done, and that's when I learned about him passing. | ||
| Like, I was literally reading his note when I heard about the heroin shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I was like, oh! | |
| Oh, man. | ||
| So you were reading the note that he wrote to you? | ||
| That he wrote me when the news broke, like, did you hear about Mitch? | ||
| And it was like, fuck. | ||
| Yeah, man, yeah, man, yeah, man. | ||
| Me and Stan Hope were on the set. | ||
| Oh, I love him, man. | ||
| That's right, y'all did the show together. | ||
| Yeah, when we found out that he was real sick. | ||
| I was at his wedding. | ||
| Did you go to his wedding? | ||
| No. | ||
| I just happened to be in Vegas. | ||
| Whatever happened in Vegas, I was in that one. | ||
| The original, this was like many years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I told them, what are you doing? | |
| I didn't know I could say that to them. | ||
| I think I was in Vegas independent, but we were cool, so I was there like, yo, this is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, right after he was married, something happened where his girlfriend mouthed up to a cop and they bounced her head off the hood and arrested her. | ||
| Jesus, bro. | ||
| Anyway, we found out that Mitch had been brought to the hospital and they thought he was going to lose his leg because he had been shooting into this one same area and he got gangrene. | ||
| I was like, God damn... | ||
| And then he got free of that and he healed up, but he went right back to it. | ||
| He didn't have any desire to kick heroin. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| And they call me the naive detective. | ||
| I never knew that he did that. | ||
| Because whenever I saw him, we were working out. | ||
| We would always go to the gym. | ||
| He was mad competitive. | ||
| He would run the treadmill. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he was like... | ||
| He was competitive. | ||
| He liked me to open for him because he liked to work. | ||
| He didn't want me to hold back. | ||
| He was like, go man. | ||
| That's the side that I saw of him. | ||
| And then when he had to deal with the show and all of that shit, he would do material about it because it's such a different experience than from what he is. | ||
| Dealing with the notes of it all and all that shit. | ||
| He was like, yo, I pitched an idea. | ||
| I wanted to do this idea. | ||
| Yeah, the dream is not the reality. | ||
| But his dream was his stand-up. | ||
| To this day, I like to listen to his stand-up when I'm on my way to the airport. | ||
| Because it's stressful. | ||
| But his stand-up was so silly. | ||
| So silly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One of my favorite jokes is his banana joke. | |
| Somebody asked me, do I want a frozen banana? | ||
| I said, no. | ||
| But I want a regular banana later. | ||
| So, yes. | ||
| He had so much of that. | ||
| I just enjoyed that it was very silly. | ||
| I don't know when he got into the heroin. | ||
| I don't know when. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| I knew he did his thing, but I think... | ||
| People just never did that shit in front of me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No one ever did it in front of me either, but I knew they were doing it. | ||
| I had a buddy of mine in New York that died from it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He was snorting it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| Yeah, but he got into pills and a lot of this. | ||
| That's what a lot of times they find out about Oxys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They snort pills. | ||
| It's just opioids. | ||
| That crisis is something that's just swept through the entire world. | ||
| So many people are dying from that shit. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I've never done it, but I did get a morphine drip once when I had my knee fixed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was like, I get it. | |
| Kept hitting that button. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, oh. | |
| You can hit the button every time you want some morphine. | ||
| That's what I hear. | ||
| It's a button. | ||
| And I just was like, wow. | ||
| It just made you feel like the world was filled with love. | ||
| Just caressing you. | ||
| Everything was love. | ||
| Like a womb feeling. | ||
| You're protected. | ||
| You're safe. | ||
| You're going to be okay. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Which makes sense that a lot of musicians and a lot of people wanted that because so many people that are like really super creative or they're kind of in pain. | ||
| A lot of those people are like, when you think of Nirvana, you think of Kurt Cobain, the screaming, all that, that's coming from a place of pain, right? | ||
| And then that dude would go off and do heroin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I'm glad you're not doing heroin, Owen. | ||
| Nah, fam. | ||
| I was always... | ||
| You know, Lenny Baez's passing of cocaine overdose scared me from doing anything because he was all muscle. | ||
| And I was like, if cocaine could take him down, I don't stand a chance. | ||
| I've never had a six-pack. | ||
| This dude... | ||
| Amazing, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, super athlete. | ||
| When that happened, my brain was like, oh, that shit ain't for me. | ||
| And so, weed I do. | ||
| I did mushrooms once. | ||
| Shit, my pants. | ||
| On this dude's white couch. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| I secretly think I never liked that guy. | ||
| He was like an asshole to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I just purposely just shit on his dumb white couch. | |
| White carpet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| And I was like, alright man, see ya. | ||
| We gotta wrap this up, man. | ||
| It's 3 o'clock. | ||
| Text Owen.com. | ||
| Text Owen.com. | ||
| We'll be at the improv together Wednesday night for the 1030 show. | ||
| OwenSmith.com. | ||
| Is that your website? | ||
| OwenSmithLive.com. | ||
| Social media, Owen Smith for real. | ||
| But most importantly, go to textOwen.com and I'll send you... | ||
| Break his phone. | ||
| Try to break his phone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Break his phone. | |
| Break his phone. | ||
| Bye, everybody. |
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