Nov. 22, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:07:46
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Two. | ||
| One. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the Megyn Kelly fan... | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Megan McCain. | |
| I fucked it up. | ||
| Megan McCain. | ||
| President of the Megan McCain fan club. | ||
| Has she reached out to you at all? | ||
| She's blocked me. | ||
| No. | ||
| She blocked me and I didn't tag her in the video because I'm not that guy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I did, you know, I mean, I put it out there into the world. | ||
| She's not thrilled. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I know somebody that knows her pretty well. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they said that she is not happy. | ||
| With my depiction of her. | ||
| She did, though, after the first video, she lost a lot of weight. | ||
| Seems like she put it back on. | ||
| She did. | ||
| And I yo-yo with her. | ||
| So when she gets thinner, I get thinner so I can do her. | ||
| And when she plumps up, I plump back up. | ||
| So that's where we're at, is that I just kind of mirror her. | ||
| How uncomfortable. | ||
| She's, I would, you know, I always, because, you know, sometimes I'll go back to New York to do shows and I imagine, like, what if I'm in a restaurant and I see her and, you know, what would a meeting be like? | ||
| Because I have no... | ||
| Real ill will. | ||
| It's just comedy. | ||
| It's just comedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's just... | ||
| She's a big public figure. | ||
| She's a big public figure and she behaves sometimes in a ridiculous way. | ||
| She calls herself a self-made woman. | ||
| I mean, these are things that are insane. | ||
| Yes, that's insane. | ||
| I mean, this is, you know, she's not self-paid. | ||
| And listen, I love that she loves her dad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But there's a limit to the constant, you know, if you want people to forget that your dad is the reason you have the job, you can't bring him up every five minutes. | ||
| Well, don't you think she's in a real pickle? | ||
| Because that show is how she makes a living. | ||
| So she's on that show. | ||
| So if you're on that show, that's one of the things you've got to talk about. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| But I would say if she toned it down a little bit. | ||
| Tone it down! | ||
| You can't tone it down though. | ||
| See, one of the things about that show that's ridiculous, like this conversation we're having is very easy. | ||
| It's you and me. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| I let you talk. | ||
| You let me talk. | ||
| We talk. | ||
| We express ourselves. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| That's a goddamn battle zone. | ||
| It's a fight. | ||
| That's a vagina battle zone. | ||
| And you have a lot of great intellectuals that are battling out all the things. | ||
| Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg. | ||
| These are brilliant people who we need to hear from. | ||
| And they speak in three-minute clips. | ||
| But I used to like the show when Rosie O'Donnell would go on and start talking about Tower 7. That was great. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| It can be fun. | ||
| Yeah, that was interesting, what Rosie was doing. | ||
| Rosie would just go on and start talking about Tower 7, and it was like, oh, this is a fun morning show. | ||
| This is ABC morning. | ||
| It's a little wacky. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, I'll get on board for this. | ||
| Why'd they take her off of that? | ||
| Did she not get along with somebody? | ||
| It was a girl from Survivor, right? | ||
| Yeah, Elizabeth Hasselbeck. | ||
| Her and Rosie used to fight all the time. | ||
| Yeah, she's like one of them hot Fox News fembot type characters. | ||
| Yeah, I used to do Red Eye on Fox News, which would air at 3am. | ||
| They would bring in like all these hot blondes, would sit in the green room, and they would be nice. | ||
| And they'd be like, I'm Miss Tallahassee. | ||
| And then they would get on Fox, Red Eye, and then the cameras would turn on and they would start going, Syria! | ||
| And I would be like, Syria? | ||
| What the hell do you know about Syria? | ||
| I mean, but they would just go and go. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that was a fun show because Red Eye was a show that was on at 3 a.m. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And nobody really watched it. | ||
| And nothing you said would get recorded. | ||
| Like, there would be no clips or anything. | ||
| So you could kind of just go wild. | ||
| For a while. | ||
| For a while. | ||
| So comedians like me, who had no knowledge or background knowledge on anything, got to... | ||
| And I would wear, like, a jacket. | ||
| So you wouldn't know... | ||
| I guess it would say comedian under me, but not always. | ||
| And I used to just go on that and just say whatever I wanted to. | ||
| And I'd be sitting next to John Bolton. | ||
| And they didn't pay you. | ||
| They would just give you a card wherever you were going. | ||
| And I would just come on and say whatever the hell I wanted. | ||
| And in a news studio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that was like a funny... | ||
| But that's when I met a lot of those... | ||
| And by the way, they're all fun people. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They're all fun people. | ||
| Well, I think there's a business in being a fembot. | ||
| And I don't begrudge them like I don't begrudge bodybuilders who are on Instagram. | ||
| This is my new ab set. | ||
| We'll take you guys through this. | ||
| I don't begrudge them guys either. | ||
| I just think there's businesses. | ||
| And we have to recognize that a lot of people who are really right-wing like women. | ||
| And they like hot blonde women with big tits who really are not into immigration. | ||
| They don't like immigration. | ||
| They hate immigration. | ||
| But there's like a fucking market for them. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| I mean, Tommy Lahren. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, it started, I guess, with Ann Coulter. | ||
| Lauren Southern. | ||
| Lauren Southern. | ||
| They have a lot of... | ||
| There's a bunch of new ones now. | ||
| Attractive women that are... | ||
| Yeah, I don't follow as closely because it starts to feel like you're in a loop. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It starts to feel like with the news that you're in a loop. | ||
| Well, the best one, in my opinion, is Candace Owens. | ||
| Because they bring her into these conversations and they underestimate her. | ||
| I've seen that several times. | ||
| They did a great thing, and I forget who did it, but it was her and Killer Mike. | ||
| It was a panel that maybe P. Diddy sponsored or something, and it was a A panel of thought leaders in the black community, and she was on it, Killer Mike was on it, and one of the girls from Black Lives Matter, and it was a really interesting conversation. | ||
| Candace is very smart. | ||
| Oh, she's very smart. | ||
| I don't agree with her on some of the things she says, but she's very intelligent. | ||
| Here it is, yeah. | ||
| Killer Mike adds context to TI and Candace Owens' revolt summit argument. | ||
| Yeah, Diddy was, I think, in the front row, just, I'm going to get accused of being a racist, you know? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| You can't tell the difference? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Candace was also on something recently where some white woman who was a professor accused her of saying something racist. | ||
| And she shut that lady down so hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because she was laughing at something. | ||
| And the woman tried to check her and shame her for what she was laughing at. | ||
| And she's like, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm laughing at you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I'm laughing at what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We can't play it, right? | ||
| No, we couldn't play it. | ||
| If we play it, we'll fucking get pulled off of YouTube. | ||
| But it's... | ||
| She shut her down. | ||
| And there was also that Asian congressman. | ||
| He tried some stupid shit on her, too. | ||
| She shut him down, too. | ||
| Shut him down. | ||
| Well, he tried to take her out of context in front of her. | ||
| Like, she wasn't going to defend herself. | ||
| Well, it's also interesting about people like Candace Owens and people... | ||
| They just live in a battleground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| She likes to go to war. | ||
| Everything's... | ||
| They wake up. | ||
| Knuckles up. | ||
| They get on Twitter. | ||
| Like, I could never live like that. | ||
| She gets out of bed like Nate is. | ||
| She's ready to... | ||
| I could never, like, to me, to get up every day and go, who do I gotta wreck? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I just couldn't do it. | ||
| But you meet her in real life. | ||
| She's a nice lady. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure a lot of them are. | ||
| But they're like, you didn't meet Ann Coulter. | ||
| They're all very nice. | ||
| But they're always, you know, they're just ready. | ||
| They live in the combat zone. | ||
| But look, we're talking about her and more than a million people are going to hear this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So she's doing the right thing. | ||
| She is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's a business. | ||
| Just like you talking shit about Meghan McCain. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's kind of a business. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're never talking shit about her. | ||
| You're pretending to be her. | ||
| I'm pretending to be her. | ||
| I'm stealing her essence. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| I've heard that before. | ||
| That's kind of what I'm doing. | ||
| How long did she block you? | ||
| Did you pay attention? | ||
| Did you check every day? | ||
| I didn't check every day, but I think it was somewhere after the first video, which was a really, really fun one, and she didn't like that. | ||
| The thing now I'm nervous about is with all the new YouTube rules, can they just decide to get rid of my account for or to just say it's not commercially viable? | ||
| You don't have a real problem with that because you're making fun of someone on the right. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| But I do make fun of people on the left. | ||
| I mean, I did a video where I pretended to be the agent of the climate girl, Greta Thunberg. | ||
| Because I'm like, you know, I pretended to be like David Hogg's agent. | ||
| You can absolutely play it. | ||
| Yeah, play that, play that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely play it. | |
| Is it on Instagram? | ||
| It's on my YouTube channel. | ||
| I'm sure it's on Instagram, but I don't know if it's IGTV or whatever. | ||
| Because I want to fuck with everybody. | ||
| So I was like, this girl, Greta Thunberg, let's be honest, she has some good points, but it's a little creepy. | ||
| It's a little creepy. | ||
| Well, she's like, how old is she? | ||
| She's too young for me to say that about. | ||
| Is she like 14? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| She could be 52, though. | ||
| Yes, it's creepy. | ||
| Something's wrong. | ||
| I turned on my TV and she was like, how dare you? | ||
| And I'm like, well, why are we starting there? | ||
| But there's something about her face, too. | ||
| It's almost like, did you hear the story about the couple? | ||
| I think she has a thing, potentially. | ||
| There was a couple that adopted a child from Russia and they thought that the child was a little kid and it turned out she might have been 30. They don't know how old she was. | ||
| She tried to kill them. | ||
| She scared them. | ||
| It's a fucking horror movie. | ||
| These are the best stories. | ||
| They thought they were adopting a little kid, like a little six-year-old. | ||
| It's a fucking 30-year-old with some sort of a metabolic disease. | ||
| Yeah, well that serves you right for trying to be a do-gooder, you know? | ||
| They'll never do anything again for anybody. | ||
| They'll never do one thing. | ||
| Like the husband will try to bring it up. | ||
| She's like, fuck you, Herman! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| You almost got me killed by that midget! | ||
| I mean, the idea that there are midgets dressing up as children and trying to burrow into family so that they can wake up in the middle of the night and kill them is truly the funniest thing that has happened in recent memory. | ||
| I don't think she's technically a midget. | ||
| I think she's something else. | ||
| Whatever she was, she has a growth disorder that keeps her looking like a small child. | ||
| Did you see there was a video recently where it looked like a kid was getting thrown off a bus? | ||
| Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| And it was like a little person who was just thrown off a bus. | ||
| But it was a scam. | ||
| Oh, was it fake? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Ari and I both got duped. | ||
| I got duped because my friend texted me. | ||
| They go, there's a pedophile midget that just got thrown off a bus. | ||
| It is hilarious. | ||
| It is the funniest thing ever. | ||
| When he unzips the hood and you see this grown-up face? | ||
| There's a woman who looks like, what the fuck? | ||
| I don't think they were in on it. | ||
| No, I don't think they knew. | ||
| The people on the outside didn't know. | ||
| I think the guy threw that guy off the bus and that was the scam. | ||
| And then the dude who was the little person in the hoodie, he was in on the scam. | ||
| They were all in on it. | ||
| But I don't think the people on the street were in on it. | ||
| So now what happens when these little people wake up and they're like activated? | ||
| They're like, I'm going to kill the family. | ||
| How do they try to kill them? | ||
| Well, this lady, she was threatening. | ||
| She was threatening to kill the family and they were really worried that she was going to do that. | ||
| She was going to poison them or something like that. | ||
| I think that's what it was. | ||
| It's scary stuff. | ||
| It's a horror movie. | ||
| Because, you know, you gotta think, who knows what kind of abuse this little kid had gone through, well, actually a 30-year-old, as a little kid through in Russia, you know, in all these foster homes and foster care, and, you know, they are fucking ruthless over there. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| I imagine it's not the best place to grow up as a person with a disorder. | ||
| What's up, Jamie? | ||
| I feel like I'm hearing... | ||
| Are you saying that happened in Russia or was it a Russian kid? | ||
| It's a Russian kid. | ||
| Okay, this happened in Indiana. | ||
| It's actually a Ukrainian kid. | ||
| Ukraine is part of Russia. | ||
| That's okay, isn't it? | ||
| It's one of the former Soviet Union. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're Russian. | |
| They had it for three years before they figured this out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Now, were those three years nice? | ||
| Were there nice memories? | ||
| It started out good. | ||
| Isn't that odd to look back and be like, remember when we all went to Disney World? | ||
| No, they were probably like, hey, this bitch isn't growing. | ||
| I think they said that she was creepy. | ||
| In the article that I read, I think they would wake up and see her standing at the door. | ||
| I think there were things that she did that, yeah, very, very bad. | ||
| What does she look like? | ||
| Do they have an image of her? | ||
| I'm trying to find... | ||
| I'm trying to find another one. | ||
| I saw a picture of her. | ||
| I saw a picture of her. | ||
| Did she go to jail now? | ||
| It was real weird looking. | ||
| She didn't look like a little person. | ||
| She looked like a young person. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, I hope she finds another family. | ||
| I hope she keeps doing this to different families because whatever happened in this bitch's life was so bad that she needs to do this. | ||
| Let her do it. | ||
| You can't do it to the wrong family. | ||
| They can feed you to the wolves. | ||
| You do it to the wrong family. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's... | |
| I worry about that though at YouTube because I say, is it... | ||
| You build a whole career. | ||
| You build people that are your fans. | ||
| They want to see comedy. | ||
| And I always thought that like, okay, I'm not going to be able to do this on like mainstream TV, but these are funny things that I can do. | ||
| There she is. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| She does look... | ||
| Okay, so it is a little person. | ||
| She looks like a child. | ||
| But strange. | ||
| It's not like a regular... | ||
| Look at the one down the middle. | ||
| The middle and the lower... | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's horrific. | ||
| That one right there. | ||
| That's terrifying. | ||
| Ukrainian child. | ||
| She might even be 30. But it's also, how is she going to kill you? | ||
| I guess in the middle of the night or something. | ||
| Cut your fucking neck, man. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Bro, there she looks 30. That's creepy. | ||
| There's something weird. | ||
| They thought it was a little kid. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's so strange. | ||
| Don't adopt, folks. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do not adopt. | |
| That's so strange. | ||
| Get that one there. | ||
| Yeah, when your cursor's on. | ||
| Look at that one. | ||
| That one freaks me out. | ||
| Because you'd be like, something's wrong. | ||
| You would never think that was a murderous young adult. | ||
| He's either 8 or 22, that everyone was talking about. | ||
| I don't think they think 22 now. | ||
| I think some people think as old as 30, and I think the youngest they think she is is 16. And there's no records? | ||
| No one can prove anything? | ||
| No, they don't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| You know... | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| She had period, she had adult teeth. | ||
| LAUGHTER Well... | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| She's not 12. That's an indication that... | ||
| I mean, did she never see a doctor in three years? | ||
| Oh, scroll back up. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| She had periods. | ||
| She had adult teeth. | ||
| Who alleges that after Natalia began acting out violently, attacking a baby boy, pushing Christine into an electric fence, and making death threats, the family sought out psychiatric health. | ||
| Health care officials, including Barnett's primary care physician who performed a bone density test and a clinical therapist who treated Natalia, believe her to be an adult impersonating a child. | ||
| Holy fuck! | ||
| Can you imagine when you're in the doctor's office and getting that diagnosis? | ||
| They do a bone density test and the kid's just sitting there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It turns out it's an adult. | ||
| Can you imagine going in and you're ready to hear like she's got cancer or brain damage and she go, actually, you're raising a 30-year-old from the Ukraine? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| In 2012, a judge approved the Barnett's application to have Natalia's date of birth officially revised to September 4th, 1989, officially changing her age from 8 to 22. Shortly after, they rented Natalia an apartment and placed her under the supervision of an Indiana state health care provider so she could receive psychiatric treatment as an adult. | ||
| That's an understanding family. | ||
| And then the parents moved to Canada. | ||
| They left the country. | ||
| But they rented her an apartment and then left the country. | ||
| Christine Barnett then moved to Canada with her son Jacob. | ||
| And they got arrested. | ||
| Autistic child prodigy about whom she wrote... | ||
| Oh, is that the parent? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's her parent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, the Barnetts. | ||
| They're the Barnetts. | ||
| They're the ones who would adopt them. | ||
| Right, so Christine's the one that, but she took, so she left the husband and moved to Canada? | ||
| Yeah, they're divorced now. | ||
| Oh, well that'll do it. | ||
| It's a tough thing for marriage to survive. | ||
| Yeah, you survive, you rented an adult. | ||
| Yeah, you rented an adult who was going to kill you. | ||
| Pretending to be a kid, pushing you into an electric fence. | ||
| I feel like they... | ||
| They had a dinner and they said, whatever in our marriage made us think this was a good idea, we should just separate. | ||
| They got arrested for abandoning her in that apartment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| The story goes further, I believe. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 2019, prosecutors in Tippecanoe, Indiana. | ||
| That's your number one problem right there. | ||
| Tippecanoe, Indiana. | ||
| Brought formal charges of neglect against the Barnetts, now divorced. | ||
| An affidavit of probable cause from 2014 provided by Refinery29 refers to tests performed by Peyton Manning Children's Hospital in 2013 that seemed to contradict earlier medical reports about Natalia's age. | ||
| Investigators at the time found Natalia's claims that she was a Ukrainian child who had been abandoned by the Barnett's credible. | ||
| But Michael Barnett's attorney told the Daily Mail that the charges had been filed because another couple, perhaps convinced by Natalia that she was a minor, had petitioned to become her guardian. | ||
| Oh my god, she tried to rope another family. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's good! | |
| She's good! | ||
| Explaining Natalia was living on her own and a couple wanted to become her guardians. | ||
| Thinking she was still a child, the couple tried to overturn the 2012 results. | ||
| So they tried to overturn her fucking age. | ||
| And adopt her again. | ||
| Despite new tests commissioned by that couple, the court upheld the original result, which maintained that Natalia was an adult. | ||
| The couple later dropped their guardianship petition once she tried to kill them, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I heard that last part. | ||
| Where is Natalia today? | ||
| Whereabouts are currently unknown. | ||
| Her age remains a subject of much debate. | ||
| She's touring with Skippy from Family Talks. | ||
| The Jewish Clubs in Connecticut. | ||
| She's on the Blues Clues tour. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I mean, listen, you know, that's a guest. | ||
| You want to get a guest? | ||
| That girl. | ||
| I would have someone in the room with a gun. | ||
| You sit her on a stack of phone books? | ||
| I might have a gun. | ||
| You might adopt her. | ||
| I might have a gun. | ||
| You might bring her home. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| You might fall for it. | ||
| She might be riding Marshall around the house. | ||
| No, I have real kids. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know the kids. | |
| I understand kids. | ||
| It is wild. | ||
| Do you think, could you ever get duped like that? | ||
| Yeah, you could get duped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If someone's really, really, really good and you're tired... | ||
| Yeah, if you're working hard, you just come... | ||
| You drink a little bit, maybe you're on some antidepressants that make you a little loopy. | ||
| I wonder if the parents are like, how good of parents are we that for three years we didn't know that we had a 30-year-old psychopath living in our house? | ||
| Like, maybe we're not the best at this. | ||
| She's got a bush. | ||
| That was the other thing. | ||
| They found out that she had pubic hairs. | ||
| Full bush, adult teeth. | ||
| Adult teeth. | ||
| Death threats. | ||
| How do you make a death threat when you look like a kid like that? | ||
| I mean, it's crazy. | ||
| Like Chucky. | ||
| He scared the fuck out of everybody. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Fuck you, I'll kill you. | ||
| Dude, Chucky was terrifying. | ||
| People say sometimes I look like Chucky, which is not nice. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| Those people are mean. | ||
| I agree, but there's a lot of people on YouTube that like to just let it fly. | ||
| They really like to let it fly. | ||
| You're not supposed to read that stuff. | ||
| I know, but sometimes I do. | ||
| I don't know about that, but I... You're getting a little too famous to read YouTube comments. | ||
| I read the stuff, and sometimes it's brutal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And sometimes I'll answer, like never on YouTube, but sometimes on IG, Instagram, I'll answer and say something back. | ||
| One guy said something to me once, and I said something back to him. | ||
| I went, because I looked at his page, and it was just his chick holding a bunch of other people's kids. | ||
| So I said, why don't you impregnate your girlfriend so she doesn't have to run around with other people's kids? | ||
| So it was wild. | ||
| And then they deleted my comment. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he was going after you? | ||
| He was going after me. | ||
| I went back at him. | ||
| And they deleted yours? | ||
| And they deleted my comment. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is the world we're living in now. | ||
| Well, you shouldn't- It wasn't appropriate for me to go to his page. | ||
| Well, it's natural, though. | ||
| It was wrong, but I did it. | ||
| It's counterpunching. | ||
| It's natural. | ||
| It was just, I was trying to, you know, this is my job. | ||
| Yeah, you get him. | ||
| You gotta go. | ||
| Yeah, you're better off. | ||
| Look, I understand people that are sitting in a job somewhere, sitting in a cubicle, angry. | ||
| And they see someone like yourself or like me, and Jamie, I'm sure he gets hate too, and they just get fucking angry. | ||
| Maybe you said something stupid. | ||
| I say something stupid all the time. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| And then they want to come get you. | ||
| And they want to yell at you or make you feel like shit or say something awful, something really mean. | ||
| And sometimes it gets you. | ||
| Sometimes it'll get you. | ||
| But I would rather give them that. | ||
| This is what I feel. | ||
| I'd rather let them. | ||
| Let them have it. | ||
| Go say it. | ||
| Take your shot. | ||
| No, but this is how I feel. | ||
| It's not personal. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, I get it. | ||
| Like, I used to be me. | ||
| I mean, I used to be you. | ||
| When I was young and coming up, but there was no internet to do this. | ||
| If I had the internet, I guaranteed you. | ||
| I would have said some horrendous, ridiculous shit on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube comments. | ||
| No doubt. | ||
| We all would have. | ||
| Everybody would've. | ||
| I don't want to read them, I don't want them to upset me, and I don't want to be upset at them, and if I see them, I don't want to know they said it, because it's not real. | ||
| It's not real in that it is their real thought, and they did write it, But they don't really know me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And a lot of it is just, it's fun. | ||
| Sometimes I'll just respond to somebody and they'll go, hey, and they'll totally, like they'll say something nasty and then I'll respond and then they'll go, hey, just kidding. | ||
| Love the podcast. | ||
| Normal. | ||
| And it's just like, oh, they just want interaction. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's why they said that I look like a potato skin. | ||
| Well, they're just fucking, people are angry, man. | ||
| Most people's lives suck. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of people, it's not great right now. | ||
| No, and even if it was not, even though the economy's doing better, the vast majority of people are not doing what they want to do with their lives. | ||
| And most people, at some point in your life, and I'm sure you've had jobs like that that are fucking terrible. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| We've all been there. | ||
| We've all been there. | ||
| And that feeling of frustration when you see someone on YouTube, and it's so easy to just say something gross and mad. | ||
| We all do it as comics, you know, because we'll see the trailer for somebody special or whatever, and we'll be like, ugh, you know? | ||
| And it's like, we shouldn't be focusing on that, but it's a lot of fun to commiserate with people in the shared hatred of something. | ||
| And when someone's doing well, like yourself, your videos start picking up a little steam, people start recommending it, it's fun to shit on you. | ||
| Yeah, absolutely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bring it down. | |
| Fuck him. | ||
| He's not funny. | ||
| That Meghan McCain doesn't even sound like her. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| My favorite comment is just when someone will write, he's fat. | ||
| That's my favorite comment. | ||
| Someone will write, he's fat. | ||
| 300 likes. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I appreciate. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| He doesn't even sound like her. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| That's a terrible impression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Sounds like him. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| I went to see, well, I was working with Otto and George way back in the day. | ||
| Yeah, Long Island guys, right? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And we were working at Dangerfields in Manhattan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Joker. | ||
| And some lady, he's, you know, he would, Otto had a puppet named George, and he would do the, you know, he would work the puppet, and the puppet would say fucked up things. | ||
| And Otto would be like, hey, how are you saying that? | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| And I remember this lady going, his lips are moving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Right. | ||
| Because he didn't even try. | ||
| He was like the worst ventriloquist. | ||
| He was never trying to just do that. | ||
| He wasn't trying to do that at all. | ||
| He moved his lips. | ||
| She couldn't even concentrate on the jokes. | ||
| The puppet was saying the most horrendous, fucked up, ridiculous jokes. | ||
| And she was like, his lips are moving. | ||
| It said... | ||
| Yeah, they were amazing, man. | ||
| That, to me, is so funny how somebody could just key in on something like that while the entire audience is laughing and having a good time. | ||
| Everyone's having a great time. | ||
| His lips are moving. | ||
| It's not real. | ||
| Yeah, right. | ||
| She thinks she's focusing in on the important part. | ||
| And then everyone else is wrong. | ||
| The other 300 people that are dying on the floor are wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look by his mouth. | |
| You see lines. | ||
| The mouth is on like a hinge. | ||
| The mouth goes up and down. | ||
| You can see where the lines are. | ||
| It's not a real mouth. | ||
| I love it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fake. | |
| I mean, what we do, and you're obviously in the big, big venues now, but I was just in a club this past weekend, and it's like, it's an interesting time in the country to get a bunch of people in a room, pour alcohol all over them, and just let them go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Because no matter what I say, if I say Trump, and my act is not political, but I'll mention things that are going on. | ||
| There's jokes. | ||
| And as soon as I say Trump, some of the crowd will go, woo! | ||
| And some of them will start booing. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah! | ||
| And I'm like, guys, that's not this. | ||
| I'm just here to make a joke about this. | ||
| So this isn't a rally. | ||
| I'm not taking your temperature. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| And they just, they're hammered. | ||
| And they're ready to just let you know where they're at. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's just like a, it's a weird time for discourse. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a weird time for people shouting things out, too, because people think their opinion's more important than it's ever been before because of social media. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People are used to expressing themselves. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I mean, and some crowds now, I mean, I think there's just a, you know, some perverse pride in, like, kind of putting you through it. | ||
| Yeah, a little bit. | ||
| You know, where I'll be like, you guys are animals. | ||
| You're a fucking animal. | ||
| Just a huge applause break. | ||
| We got you. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I was like, where did they hand that ticket to this show? | ||
| In Urgent Care? | ||
| You know? | ||
| They love it. | ||
| They're clapping, you know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| Well, they're looking for something that's different than most of what you're getting on television and in websites. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're getting this fucking politically correct, woke nonsense. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And people are rejecting it. | ||
| Look, Charlie's Angels, fuck you. | ||
| Terminator, fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Get woke, go broke. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| That's what people are saying now. | ||
| They're like, they're People are done with it. | ||
| People are done. | ||
| People are sick of it. | ||
| People don't realize the business we're in doesn't have a soul. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| Eventually, it's going to swing back the other way because it's money. | ||
| Joker did great. | ||
| These things do well. | ||
| That's a fucked up movie. | ||
| It's a fucked up movie and it was great. | ||
| Look at Roseanne. | ||
| 25 million people tuned in to the premiere of Roseanne. | ||
| Do you know how much money that must have cost ABC to fire her for that? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| It was so dumb. | ||
| It took me a while to convince her to come on the podcast. | ||
| She was supposed to do it a long time ago. | ||
| Dude, we had fucking camera crews trying to get to my house. | ||
| We had camera crews outside our old studio where we used to be. | ||
| It was madness, man. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| That one thing, by the way, is extremely insulting and fucking stupid and archaic. | ||
| Do you think you just find me, I'm going to talk to you? | ||
| Do you think you put a camera in front of me now? | ||
| Your fucking rudimentary interview skills? | ||
| Yeah, you're going to be like, oh, you got me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, well, here, let me give you my statement. | ||
| Here, I'll give you the scoop. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I'll stay a bunch of shit you can't talk, you can't put on your air. | ||
| Will you just walk by them? | ||
| I'm like, I'm not interested in talking to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| This is not how it works. | ||
| You don't just show up to get an interview. | ||
| You schedule it through... | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's proper channels. | ||
| There's proper channels. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know how to do it. | ||
| They know how to do it. | ||
| They just think they're going to be like, this is news. | ||
| You guys are archaic. | ||
| You're not even real. | ||
| You guys are fucking shaman. | ||
| And does anyone care? | ||
| Is there real money in that anymore? | ||
| Is there real money in Justin Bieber having sushi? | ||
| Does anyone care? | ||
| I'm sure some people care with the websites. | ||
| There's a lot of clicking on... | ||
| TMZ makes a shitload of money. | ||
| I see other comics sometimes that take pictures with famous people and I go, what are you doing? | ||
| Stop doing that. | ||
| Stop doing that. | ||
| No one wants that. | ||
| They do it for the gram. | ||
| It's the worst thing in the world. | ||
| You have just a picture with a famous person that's miserable. | ||
| I was going to ask you for a picture after this. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, let's not. | ||
| Let's not. | ||
| It's the worst thing ever. | ||
| I yell at friends. | ||
| I go, don't do it. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| Well, people like to be associated with someone who's cool. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Get a picture with Josh Holmey from Queens of the Stone Age. | ||
| It's like a cool thing, I guess. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| Yeah, but these people are pulling out people that were in like 90s sitcoms. | ||
| They'll just pick a guy out of an audience that was on Homicide, Life on the Street. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they'll be like, hey, it's me. | ||
| And I'm like, let him be. | ||
| It's Ice-T. Yeah. | ||
| Ice-T has been a cop longer than he's been a rapper. | ||
| He's been a cop forever. | ||
| Isn't that so weird? | ||
| Remember, I'm a motherfucking cop killer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He had a song called Cop Killer. | ||
| He's a good... | ||
| He's just a good TV cop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| That show's gotta be soul-sucking, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet you just can't wait to spend money. | ||
| I think after a while, it becomes just... | ||
| It's a routine job. | ||
| It's like anything else, and no one cares anymore. | ||
| Like, you know, there's shows that we all as comics do that are just routine jobs. | ||
| You know, things would just show up, and they're like, okay, here we go, and here are the topics, and make some jokes, and then it's like, boom, boom, boom. | ||
| I know, but at a certain point in time, you gotta be... | ||
| You've got to have enough money. | ||
| When I was on season 5 of Fear Factor, I remember thinking, I don't know how much longer I can do this. | ||
| What was it about it that was just too much repetitive? | ||
| It was the same thing over and over again. | ||
| We did 148 episodes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was just, after a while, it was just like, Jesus Christ, how many animal dicks can you serve people? | ||
| Right. | ||
| How many times can you throw them off builders? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, enough already. | ||
| There's no amount of money to get you to come back to do that or something like that. | ||
| I did come back in 2011. I came back. | ||
| But I didn't have as much money back then. | ||
| And also, it was a lot more money than I got the first time. | ||
| It was like a big deal. | ||
| I think it was. | ||
| I honestly don't remember about the money part. | ||
| But it was a big deal that it was going to come back, but I immediately regretted it. | ||
| Like, immediately, I was like, oh my god, I have a job again. | ||
| The fuck did I do? | ||
| But I had... | ||
| I was just having children then, you know? | ||
| Yeah, you wanted to... | ||
| Yeah, my kids were real young, and I was like, I need, like... | ||
| When you have a kid... | ||
| I had an older daughter, but I was already paid for most of that. | ||
| You have to think about two children, and you think about two children that are, at the time, two and one. | ||
| You're like, oh my god, this is serious. | ||
| You have 18 years. | ||
| I have to make a lot of money. | ||
| I think all the money I squirreled away from the original season of Fear Factor, that took care of my family for a long time, and it'll probably be okay. | ||
| I felt like this overwhelming responsibility to squirrel away more money. | ||
| More more money. | ||
| But then once I started doing it, I was like, oh my god, this is a mistake. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is a mistake. | ||
| You're like, this is crazy. | ||
| I'm like, I don't like it. | ||
| It's not fun. | ||
| And then we got canceled because we served people jizz. | ||
| Was that the final straw? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They had a drink donkey cum. | ||
| And that was too much. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| TMZ saved me. | ||
| That was when you had the moral majority back then, and this was a problem. | ||
| That's when all the censorship came primarily from right-wing groups. | ||
| Sort of, yeah. | ||
| Was it the Obama administration? | ||
| Oh, this is the return. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But... | ||
| What it was, was the show had to get more and more extreme. | ||
| And it was very dangerous. | ||
| Like, it was freaking me out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because they were taking a lot more crazy risks. | ||
| Like, one of them, you had a set of keys, and your partner was handcuffed to a tree. | ||
| And they were attached to a bungee cord that was attached to a fucking helicopter. | ||
| Okay, and the helicopter had this bungee cord taut, and they're flying in the sky above a giant canyon. | ||
| I mean, way the fuck up there, right? | ||
| So you got these keys, and you're working these keys, and the idea is the first person to get the key lock open, right? | ||
| You unlock the thing, and then, the person goes shooting into the sky. | ||
| And I remember seeing them going, what if something snaps? | ||
| What if something breaks? | ||
| What if we watch someone fall to their death? | ||
| Like, what the fuck are we doing? | ||
| You know, you just have a bunch of executives going, ugh. | ||
| They just make a face, you know? | ||
| They would just go, ugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not great. | ||
| I had a joke about it that they were going to kill us all and then gun us down and then blame it on the terrorists. | ||
| Don't let the terrorists take away your fear factor. | ||
| Now back with Mario Lopez. | ||
| And I would just joke. | ||
| I was always joking around how Mario Lopez was going to replace me. | ||
| Did you ever feel weird morally about it because you have these people that are coming in that are putting themselves in these positions? | ||
| No, because I would have done it. | ||
| I would have done it when I was broke. | ||
| I would have eaten an animal dick. | ||
| I would have let you throw a puke in my face. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There are people that we know will do it now. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Everybody that works at the store. | ||
| Yeah, we'll all do it now, and a lot of us have money. | ||
| And there was the idea that they could do that and move it on to a career. | ||
| The only one that's actually moved it on to a real career is Michael Yeo. | ||
| Michael Yeo was on season one of Fear Factor, episode one. | ||
| Episode 1. Interesting. | ||
| Is he a comic? | ||
| Yeah, he's a comic now. | ||
| He's doing really well. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Just filmed a special. | ||
| He's a really good guy, too. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Really funny. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| So some people can start on tear-factor. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One. | ||
| At 148 episodes, three people per episode. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember I tested for a reality show on Food Network, and they had me on set for about an hour, and they were like, yeah, this is not... | ||
| I said, I said, like, three things into the camera, and they go, none of this will ever... | ||
| This is not going to work. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Well, they were just basically like, it was called hotspots, and they're like, tell us what you think a hotspot is. | ||
| What's a real cool hotspot? | ||
| And I was just like, a hotspot is when I try to get into it, the maitre d' tells me to kill myself. | ||
| And then they go, okay, well, let's do the joke again, but let's not say, kill yourself. | ||
| I'm like, well, that's the joke, right? | ||
| So they're like, just maybe say something like, when I try to get in, they say no. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, but that's not funny. | ||
| So then we just tried to work around it a bunch of different ways, and I would just keep saying things, and you could tell they were just getting frustrated. | ||
| Networks like Food Network love the idea of comedians. | ||
| They're like, we love the idea of having a comedian come in to spice it up. | ||
| And then when they get a real comedian, they're like, we don't want that. | ||
| Well, they want a comedian with like three tracks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They want like a real down the middle. | ||
| Goofy. | ||
| Not a lot of lane changing. | ||
| Because I was making fun of like, we had all the archetypes of the Food Network. | ||
| Like we had the fat southern woman that was supposed to be Paula Deen. | ||
| And she came in, she's like, have you ever had a redneck grilled cheese? | ||
| And I said, this woman's going to explode on set. | ||
| Because they said you can be playful with each other. | ||
| So I said, this woman's going to explode on set. | ||
| And they go, wait a minute, hold on. | ||
| And I'm like, you said we could be playful. | ||
| We had the Asian woman who was like, she just talked about wellness. | ||
| She was like, I want to be whole. | ||
| And I want to be one. | ||
| And I want to be wellness. | ||
| And then, so every, you know, you had the guy Fieri. | ||
| Like, you know, there's a million chefs that think they're Bourdain. | ||
| They think they're profound. | ||
| But in reality, they're just making fucking grilled cheese. | ||
| And they have tattoos. | ||
| But other than that, you know, so we had a bunch of those chefs who were like, I'm a hard part. | ||
| I've seen it all. | ||
| I've seen it all. | ||
| I've worked on the line. | ||
| It's like, shut up. | ||
| You've made gnocchi. | ||
| What Dane, with Kitchen Confidential, he changed what a chef is. | ||
| He changed what a chef is, but most chefs are not that. | ||
| And the reality is, you hear people now that travel around the country and they think that they're like... | ||
| And I love Bourdain. | ||
| Bourdain did a brilliant show, but sometimes Bourdain's show was interesting because he'd be sitting with a family in Turkey and they'd be like, well, we haven't seen our daughter in two days and we don't really know where she is. | ||
| It's a revolution. | ||
| And then they would start talking about hummus. | ||
| And I'd be like, what happened to your daughter? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Why are we talking about... | ||
| Figs right now. | ||
| There's a revolution happening. | ||
| This whole idea that I think Bourdain was a genius, but the people that have succeeded him haven't done it well. | ||
| Is anybody doing it that way where they're traveling around? | ||
| The Gordon Ramsay, they were talking about him doing something, but the backlash was immediate and fierce. | ||
| Because... | ||
| People were thinking that he was going to try to replace Bourdain. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if he stays in his wheelhouse, his Hell's Kitchen, and doing all those shows that he did before, everybody would have been fine with it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But they were like, hey, fuck you. | ||
| He's going to come, yeah. | ||
| Imagine doing No Reservations now, or what is the new show? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Parts Unknown? | ||
| Parts Unknown. | ||
| Imagine, it's like, Parts Unknown with new host Tim Dillon. | ||
| No, it would not work. | ||
| It would be fucked. | ||
| They would come get you. | ||
| Yeah, no, it'd be a problem. | ||
| And it's also like, he was a really brilliant guy. | ||
| Most people that, like, they're like, oh, we're eating food and learning about the culture. | ||
| It's like, you're really not. | ||
| You're just having dinner. | ||
| He actually was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was. | |
| Because he was curious and interested. | ||
| But most people that are like, it's just a lot of people pretentious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they think that they're learning about the culture through food. | ||
| We're learning about the culture through dining. | ||
| And it's like, you're not really. | ||
| You're eating in a resort. | ||
| You're not going anywhere outside of the resort because you would get harpooned. | ||
| So you're eating in a resort and then there's a black SUV that takes you back to the airport. | ||
| It's bulletproof. | ||
| It's bulletproof. | ||
| You've got armed guards flanking you on each side. | ||
| You know, the one time that you didn't have that, I was on the Impractical Jokers cruise, which they have a cruise. | ||
| They do a cruise and they're great guys. | ||
| And a bunch of comics came on to entertain people that were waiting to see them. | ||
| People are waiting to see them. | ||
| But we would come on and go, hey! | ||
| And they would think it was them and they'd be like, okay, it's this guy. | ||
| And there were fun audiences and everything. | ||
| But then the crews would dock and you would go to this little town in Mexico that was like clearly didn't exist. | ||
| It was just like, you know, all these cruise lines had bought just a certain amount of beachfront and made it a town. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Yeah, and they do this. | ||
| It was called Costa Maya. | ||
| They literally do this. | ||
| And you would walk onto this beach, and then literally, they would drive you to the little tourist area, but you would just see people running around with bare feet, roosters. | ||
| I mean, it was like you would drive through literal and crazy poverty, and you felt horrible because you were just on a boat that had 30 chefs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You were just on this disgusting boat with a 24-hour buffet where people are gorging themselves, and then you go to this island where people's bones are protruding out of their body. | ||
| So it's a weird thing when you mix those worlds of food, travel, and education. | ||
| That's often how it is, though, if you stay in a resort in a country like Mexico. | ||
| I was in Punta Mita. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Four Seasons, beautiful resort, man. | ||
| It's so pretty. | ||
| I've been kidding. | ||
| They have these golf carts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you just ride the golf carts around the resort, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we decided to take the golf cart off the resort. | ||
| See, like, what happens if we go down this way? | ||
| So we talked to the guy at the booth. | ||
| We said, can we go down this way? | ||
| He's like, um, yeah, I mean, you can. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So we go down this way, me and my fucking wife and our little kids. | ||
| In the golf cart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think the oldest daughter was with us, too. | ||
| And we go into the town. | ||
| And as we're in the town, we notice that there's a fucking armored vehicle with a tank. | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| With metal plate on the front of it. | ||
| With a machine gun. | ||
| Standing on top of the fucking tank. | ||
| Like a turret. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then ready to rock. | ||
| Were you staying at Hotel Rwanda? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| They have it set up to protect the resort. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And I realize, I'm like, oh my god, this is a military base to protect the resort in case some shit goes down. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They were sitting there ready and waiting. | ||
| Just sitting on the tank. | ||
| Yeah, mow people down. | ||
| Ready to go. | ||
| Just in case they had to drive a few, like a quarter mile. | ||
| In towards the resort. | ||
| That's wild. | ||
| Because you gotta realize, like, I mean, when we were there, fucking Halle Berry was there and all these famous folks were there. | ||
| Yeah, so they don't want that in the news. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They don't want Halle Berry's head on a pike being walked around that town in Mexico. | ||
| So that doesn't do anything good for the numbers. | ||
| No, you saw what happened with that Mormon family in Mexico. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| No. | ||
| Every now and then, something bad, somebody goes somewhere and it just... | ||
| They gunned down this family. | ||
| They gunned down this wife and children and girls. | ||
| Weren't they missionaries, though? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Which is sad, but it's also like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Not missionaries. | ||
| They live there. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| What they is, they branched off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From Utah in the 1800s when they changed the polygamy laws. | ||
| And they started up these colonies in northern Mexico. | ||
| Because back then, in the 1800s before cars, it really didn't fucking matter if you lived in Mexico or the United States. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, it was just kind of the same. | ||
| You're on a horse. | ||
| Joe Rogan comes out for open borders. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| There's the clip. | ||
| Maybe it'll fix everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So... | ||
| They, you know, Mitt Romney, his family is from Mexico. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Yeah, Mitt Romney's dad was born in Mexico. | ||
| They seem like the least Mexican people ever. | ||
| They're Mormons. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But they're Mormons who wanted 150 wives. | ||
| They just wanted to go on a wild fuckfest for Jesus. | ||
| And the only way to do that is over the border. | ||
| You gotta go over the border. | ||
| So they set up these towns. | ||
| So they set up these fucking compounds. | ||
| Of Mormons. | ||
| Mormons with guns. | ||
| In Mexico. | ||
| Yeah, over the border, in Mexico, northern Mexico, and apparently the cartel and them had beef, and they put out a fucking hit on this family, and they shot down the wife, the daughters. | ||
| I mean, it's just horrific shit, man. | ||
| Interesting, and I think this was recently, right? | ||
| A couple weeks ago. | ||
| And Jamie, there was an article, I think there was an article that people said was kind of like victim-blaming, where the New York Times ran it, where they were like, this family had a violent history. | ||
| Oh God, did they really say that? | ||
| Yeah, there was a New York Times article about this family, I'm remembering it now, where they were basically like, this family's had a long violent history, or their name has been synonymous with violence, which is an interesting article to write, you know, right after they were massacred. | ||
| Well, sometimes you read articles that are written, and you just, like, do you remember when Baghdadi died? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they killed Baghdadi, and they said, there was, Washington Post called him an asture religious scholar. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| You're like, he's the fucking head of ISIS. They threw gay people off the roof. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| It's also weird, though, that we're... | ||
| I don't even... | ||
| When they're like, we killed Big Daddy, it's like, who's Big Daddy again? | ||
| Big Daddy. | ||
| Big Daddy? | ||
| Who's this? | ||
| What? | ||
| No one... | ||
| You know what it's like? | ||
| It's like if you're paying attention to Division II college school baseball players. | ||
| Yeah, I can't... | ||
| Pay attention. | ||
| There's so many. | ||
| We can't live in the psychic terror of ISIS forever. | ||
| Remember ISIS? They used to just release a lot of content online. | ||
| They would saw people's heads off with those rusty things. | ||
| It looked like they were doing it up the block in a warehouse in Studio City, to be quite honest. | ||
| I'm sure they were. | ||
| I'm sure that the CIA wasn't doing that. | ||
| It was a little weird. | ||
| These videos would drop and then everybody would be riveted and then they would just start beating the war drums again. | ||
| They'd be like, we've got to go to war. | ||
| Look at these people. | ||
| They're doing horrible things. | ||
| And then that hasn't happened in a while. | ||
| So we're not even thinking about ISIS. They trot ISIS out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When they need, like, to invest us in something. | ||
| Well, there's not that many of them, realistically, anymore. | ||
| Yeah, there's... | ||
| I remember... | ||
| They're still plotting shit, but, you know, their numbers have been diminished pretty substantially. | ||
| Yeah, I think you've said it on this show, and I had a guy on my show, this guy, John Kiriakou, was a CIA guy who said, listen, we had decimated Al-Qaeda within a week or two of being in Afghanistan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wanted to bring this up with you, because this is a conspiracy that I just remembered while we were talking about this. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Do you remember when there was a journalist that was murdered? | ||
| Daniel Pearl. | ||
| First guy to be beheaded. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And the conspiracy theory was he was beheaded by someone who was other than, was it from Iraq that they were supposed to be? | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| Was it Taliban that supposedly did it to him or some other sect? | ||
| I'm trying to think. | ||
| I don't think it was Taliban. | ||
| I think he was in, Daniel Pearl I think was in Iraq, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pakistan. | |
| He was in Pakistan. | ||
| And he was, I guess it was Taliban or, you know. | ||
| But what the conspiracy theory was, they were paying attention to the size of the men who were behind him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they were like, this does not fit with our profile of Pakistani or Muslim men. | ||
| This looks like an American. | ||
| He looks like a big country-fed fucking American assassin. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that they did this sort of as a false flag. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Right. | ||
| So it was just a guy that looked like Brendan Schaub standing behind Daniel Pearl. | ||
| Yeah, like you and Brendan Schaub back to back. | ||
| Yeah, just sawing off his head. | ||
| Yeah, they were like, the hands are too big. | ||
| Which we would both do. | ||
| I'm sure he would for a SAG card. | ||
| Yes, anything. | ||
| For anything. | ||
| For free dental. | ||
| Just free dental we would do it. | ||
| But they said the hands were too big, like the guys were too thick. | ||
| Well, I mean, remember all the photos of Bin Laden? | ||
| A lot of different photos of Bin Laden popped up and it was like nine different guys. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It really did look like it was like not... | ||
| The same person. | ||
| Nobody in the SEAL community has ever given me a straight answer whether or not they believe the official story. | ||
| Well, they all died, right? | ||
| SEAL Team 6? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The guy who killed them has been on tour. | ||
| Didn't a lot of people in SEAL Team 6 die? | ||
| They died after that. | ||
| In a crash? | ||
| Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| I mean, it's odd. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, it's just strange. | ||
| Are you going tinfoil hat on me? | ||
| I'm just saying this. | ||
| Because you love tinfoil. | ||
| I mean, I think... | ||
| You're a fan. | ||
| I think right now, with what just happened with Epstein, people are... | ||
| You can't get away with this stuff anymore. | ||
| Well, what happened with Epstein, this is what I like about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was so blatant and so outrageous that people go, hey, maybe they did fucking kill Kennedy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| They absolutely did. | ||
| And I was just doing shows in Fort Worth, and I was looking at these audiences, and I was going, they'd kill him again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They'll kill him again. | ||
| Give these people a couple of shots of tequila. | ||
| Another shot goes right to Kennedy's head. | ||
| Well, if there was another one like Kennedy. | ||
| Let's think. | ||
| If someone took over after Trump, and this guy was trying to get rid of the NSA and get rid of the CIA, and then there was some sort of a- He was going to the mafia, industrialists. | ||
| And the mafia fucking got him into office in the first place. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| They were like, hey, you fucking piece of shit. | ||
| We're the reason why you're here. | ||
| We rigged Chicago for you. | ||
| And so then he has this military blunder, the Bay of Pigs. | ||
| And so then the military's after him. | ||
| Everybody's hangry. | ||
| He says he wants to splinter the CIA into a thousand pieces and give all peacetime intelligence gathering capability to the military. | ||
| If we had someone like that, some guy like that, and by the way, he was fucking everything that moved, too. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, and he was doing drugs and everything. | ||
| He was enjoying himself. | ||
| It was on meth. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| They had a doctor, Dr. Feelgood. | ||
| That's where the name came from. | ||
| The fucking Motley Crue song? | ||
| Dr. Feelgood. | ||
| Dr. Feelgood. | ||
| And it was Kennedy's doctor? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yes. | ||
| That's when being president was a great job. | ||
| Well, they all were on it. | ||
| That's how they fucking got the party moving. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just meth heads. | ||
| It's busy, man. | ||
| You got things to do. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| I mean, listen, this is the argument for Trump being on amphetamines right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How the fuck else are you going to run a country? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to be a little amped. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little amped up. | |
| He's definitely amped. | ||
| Is that a little piece of something? | ||
| But I like seeing him, you know, when he goes big. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Sidebar, South Dakota today started a new campaign, anti-meth campaign, but it is onmeth.com, and meth, where on it is the slogan, that they spent over $450,000. | ||
| I mean, there's not anybody... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| They spent how much? | ||
| $450,000 of taxpayer money to figure this out. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| This is why people hate the government, because nobody was able to stop this and say, hey, this is not the best... | ||
| This is the dumbest fucking ad campaign I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Meth, we're on it? | ||
| That sounds like a fucking Onion article. | ||
| It's like a rap song or something. | ||
| It's a bad rap song. | ||
| Doesn't it seem like an Onion article? | ||
| I love what it says. | ||
| It goes, South Dakota has a problem. | ||
| There isn't a single solution because meth is widespread. | ||
| But we can approach it from different angles. | ||
| So it doesn't take over counties, towns, neighborhoods. | ||
| Let's work together. | ||
| Meth, we're on it. | ||
| God. | ||
| What's up with that fucking brown water? | ||
| Turn that back up. | ||
| Put that back on. | ||
| How about you fix that fucking toilet water you got your kids swimming around in? | ||
| Look at that water. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| You've got more than one problem. | ||
| Yeah, meth is not even in the top ten problems in South Dakota. | ||
| Meth is what you need to get on to fix the other problems in South Dakota. | ||
| The whole town council's got some bad. | ||
| Yeah, you need to start cleaning. | ||
| But Epstein, they just charged guards. | ||
| I mean, this is hilarious. | ||
| Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| This is a very funny comic. | ||
| Nick Mullen on Twitter was like, oh yeah, this is the justice we all wanted. | ||
| The guards. | ||
| Well, no, here's what's good. | ||
| Two prison guards tasked with watching Jeffrey Epstein on night he killed himself. | ||
| True. | ||
| They should fucking charge with falsifying records. | ||
| And conspiracy. | ||
| And conspiracy. | ||
| Here's why that's good. | ||
| Somebody pay those guys, and they're going to sing, or they're going to die. | ||
| Something's going to happen. | ||
| Either they're going to take those guys... | ||
| I think it's a way to satiate the public. | ||
| I don't think there's... | ||
| I mean, I don't think that Barr, the Attorney General, has any real... | ||
| desire to get to the bottom of what happened. | ||
| I mean, this is clearly obviously sexual blackmail. | ||
| Epstein was involved with intelligence, whether it's US, whether it's Mossad, it's somebody. | ||
| His island was a honeypot. | ||
| He had powerful people in compromising positions. | ||
| He was probably like an access agent where he would give these intel agencies access to insanely powerful people, ex-presidents, people like that. | ||
| So if you don't want to open up that wound because it's never going to stop bleeding. | ||
| And guys like Barr who are, you know, this is a guy that's participated in multiple cover-ups. | ||
| He, you know, I don't think he has any really interest in – he's a lifelong government official. | ||
| You could say deep state. | ||
| You could say whatever it is, but he's just a career. | ||
| His job is to protect the interest of these power factions in Washington, these government officials. | ||
| There's no way they open this up, and there was no way that they could have had Jeffrey Epstein in open court, pointing fingers at maybe prime ministers and presidents. | ||
| It would tear countries apart. | ||
| It would be the biggest political scandal in our lifetime. | ||
| I just can't believe they just murked him like that, though. | ||
| They didn't just murk him. | ||
| They murked him twice. | ||
| Here's what I want to know. | ||
| When he tried to commit suicide the first time, were the cameras broken then, too? | ||
| Great question. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How come we never heard that? | ||
| Well, we didn't see any footage of him. | ||
| I've never seen any footage of him in his cell. | ||
| I mean, they haven't released any footage of the cameras ever working, right? | ||
| I mean, from what I can understand. | ||
| No, but did they even comment on it? | ||
| Remember the first time that he attempted to commit suicide? | ||
| I think they got it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| I mean, I think they found him. | ||
| They transferred him. | ||
| I don't know if they have photographic evidence of him doing that. | ||
| Google what happened the first time Epstein tried to kill himself. | ||
| Because that's an interesting thing. | ||
| Yeah, it's a very interesting thing. | ||
| So do they know for sure? | ||
| Did they watch the footage and see him tying a rope around his neck? | ||
| And then they went in and go, next time you've got to do it like this. | ||
| You tie the knot stronger, you take off from the chair. | ||
| My favorite thing was the cellmate. | ||
| The cellmate that they gave him. | ||
| Oh yeah, which is like a long... | ||
| A gorilla. | ||
| A cop who... | ||
| A gorilla cop. | ||
| Yeah, from Westchester. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Huge, skinhead-looking dude. | ||
| Italian guy. | ||
| Coked out. | ||
| Giant muscles who killed a bunch of fucking people and sold drugs. | ||
| Just him and Epstein. | ||
| And they got along. | ||
| He was like the Hollywood stereotype of the last guy you would want to be in a cell with. | ||
| Big Guido ex-corrupt cop with giant muscles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is monster. | ||
| And connected to the law. | ||
| I mean, it's just like, if that's the guy, I mean, that would be the guy, maybe he's the guy who killed him. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I mean, he's a giant fucking guy. | ||
| I mean, guys like that, I'm sure, would take a bribe pretty easily, and those guys don't open their mouths, you know? | ||
| Just for fucking cigarettes. | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he can't open his mouth. | ||
| He's in jail. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They got him locked up, and they go, look. | ||
| And who knows, listen, if they- Tommy, come on. | ||
| Right, Tommy, do this. | ||
| Tommy, you're here forever. | ||
| You like killing people. | ||
| I think they got to watch the- I don't know if they can do this, but they got to watch the bank accounts. | ||
| Now, obviously, the people that are paying off people are pretty smart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's ways to hide money, but somebody got paid off. | ||
| Substantial amount of money. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somewhere, somewhere- They might not have. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| This is a weird one. | ||
| This one involves so many people. | ||
| Money might not have been passed around. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Somebody just might have called in favors for this and said, hey, just hide. | ||
| Yeah, where is Ghislaine Maxwell? | ||
| Oh, that bitch is in Brazil. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somebody said she was in LA. Yeah. | ||
| She was in LA at an In-N-Out burger with a fucking book. | ||
| And they staged a photo. | ||
| About murdered CIA agents. | ||
| And they released a staged photo. | ||
| And I don't know what the fuck. | ||
| She was thinking like, oh, America will forgive me if they see I'm eating fast food. | ||
| I don't even understand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no, no. | |
| She was trying to release a message. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, she was reading a book about CIA agents that had been murdered. | ||
| Yeah, but what's the point of that message? | ||
| She's trying to say he's a fucking intelligence agent. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| That was something that was actually said by... | ||
| Was it one of the attorney generals when they were prosecuting his initial... | ||
| Alexander Acosta said Epstein would belong to intelligence. | ||
| Well, if you just look at... | ||
| This has happened... | ||
| Yeah, there's the photo. | ||
| So, does it show the book? | ||
| There's another photo. | ||
| I think you can see the side of the book. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But they also added in that movie poster. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Somebody swapped out the movie poster. | ||
| They photoshopped. | ||
| They took advantage of this opportunity to promote a fucking film. | ||
| Wasn't it the Seth Rogen movie? | ||
| This is an interesting product placement in the background of a human trafficker having a sandwich. | ||
| At least she's got good taste in food. | ||
| She's got an old iPhone, so she's struggling a little bit financially. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| She's not on the new iPhone. | ||
| That's a burner. | ||
| She's got a burner. | ||
| She probably had five different phones. | ||
| She probably drives them into a spirit. | ||
| I think it's hard for people to understand that elements of the CIA or the Mossad would condone the abuse of children to get leverage and information on people, but that's kind of what's happened before. | ||
| Yeah, I think they just figured, look, these 15, 16-year-olds, they're going to keep their mouths shut. | ||
| I mean, we're talking about when this happened. | ||
| This is all a long time ago, right? | ||
| It wasn't that long ago. | ||
| Like, how long ago did it start? | ||
| I mean, well, it's been going on probably for decades. | ||
| Right, but my point was when it initially got started, they probably didn't have the internet, right? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| When did he start bringing people out to the island? | ||
| He got the island, I think, late 90s or early 2000. Yeah, so nobody really understood the concept of social media or where it was all going to go. | ||
| But what's really crazy is, like, no one's ever accounted for how that fucking guy got all that money. | ||
| Well, Les Wexner, who was the head of Victoria's Secret, was, like, his mentor, and they were buddies, and Wexner gave him... | ||
| And you know what's so funny about the mainstream press, you know? | ||
| The Wall Street Journal ran some article. | ||
| They're like, how could a guy like Les Wexner, who sold women's jeans forever, you know, get totally bamboozled by Jeffrey Epstein? | ||
| It's like nobody there thought that it was maybe a pathological relationship and that those guys knew each other and maybe were in the similar stuff or whatever. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But maybe there was a mutual benefit to them knowing each other. | ||
| They think that somehow this billionaire got bamboozled by Jeffrey Epstein, which is just insane to think. | ||
| But that's the way the press thinks. | ||
| They're like, this guy's the CEO of a multinational... | ||
| I mean, I'm sure he didn't do anything untoward. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm sure he's innocent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The interview with the prince was fascinating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, my favorite thing about that was, I think the prince is autistic or something, and the people on Twitter were like, don't make fun of him. | ||
| He's got something. | ||
| I think he is. | ||
| He's got something. | ||
| And the people on Twitter were like... | ||
| Hey, don't shame him for... | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| Can we just... | ||
| How do you know when someone's autistic? | ||
| Like, there's a spectrum, right? | ||
| When is it on? | ||
| Like, when do you lick a fucking strip and go, oh, yeah, bro, you got it. | ||
| A lot of people now, for whatever reason, it's becoming more and more obvious. | ||
| More diagnosed. | ||
| It's more diagnosed. | ||
| I think you've even talked about it before. | ||
| People are not socializing with each other face to face as much. | ||
| So there's a lot of awkward people that maybe are on the spectrum and maybe aren't. | ||
| They're trying to ban clapping. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| They wanted to do jazz hands. | ||
| Yeah, they wanted to do jazz hands. | ||
| Some people have a real problem with loud noises. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| L-fucking-O-L. Prince Andrew forced a scrap visit to flood-stricken York as he's called into crisis talks at Buckingham Palace. | ||
| How sad. | ||
| Summoned for crisis talks. | ||
| Oh, right now? | ||
| Yeah, like it's happening right now. | ||
| Crisis talk. | ||
| They're gonna fucking hang him, too. | ||
| Some of his answers were so crazy. | ||
| Well, if my attorney advises, I will testify. | ||
| He's like, I don't know. | ||
| When a man has sex... | ||
| Like, he went into this whole thing that was just completely... | ||
| He's clearly... | ||
| He was clearly at a relationship with Epstein that wasn't good. | ||
| I think Epstein knew how to do it. | ||
| And so did Clinton. | ||
| So did a lot of these people. | ||
| Clinton flew with Epstein 26 times. | ||
| And I've been telling people, I haven't flown with my mom 26 times. | ||
| I haven't flown with anyone 26 times. | ||
| Maybe Jamie and I decided we maybe flew together 10 times. | ||
| And maybe Hinchcliffe and I have done 26 times. | ||
| Hinchcliffe and I have probably flown as many times. | ||
| You'll regret that when Tony gets outed for whatever he's doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, Tony looks like a feudal lord that's disemboweling chambermaids. | ||
| So whenever they find the bodies in his yard, you will be answering for that. | ||
| They're going to find home video of Tony with Joker costume on. | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| He's got a Joker on his screensaver on his phone. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love how he's the nicest guy in the world, but he just has a look. | ||
| He's got a lot of mean in him. | ||
| He's a lot of mean. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You see it come out as comedy sometimes. | ||
| Every now and then there's a flash, you know, on Kill Tony, which is so much fun, sometimes I'll sit next to him and then you'll see like somebody, whether a comic, they might go over by, and you just see a flash go through Tony. | ||
| Anger. | ||
| Just a flash of anger. | ||
| And you're like, this is a real, this could be a real issue. | ||
| Yeah, you see the dungeon door cracks open just a little bit and you get to see the dragon back there. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just go... | ||
| I'm like three times the size. | ||
| I'm terrified of it. | ||
| I'm just absolutely terrified of making any kind of enemy. | ||
| She's on Dr. Phil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's this? | |
| Dr. Phil found her two weeks ago. | ||
| No! | ||
| Oh, this is the girl? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| She's going to start dating Prince Andrew. | ||
| I should call up Dr. Phil and ask him if I can play this footage. | ||
| I'm sure Phil will be okay with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, hey. | |
| I don't have a problem with it at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a little tiny person pretending to be a baby. | |
| Yeah, Phil! | ||
| What did she say when he talked to her? | ||
| She said it's not true. | ||
| What did she say? | ||
| She's really a baby? | ||
| I want people to hear my side. | ||
| They say that you scam... | ||
| This is Phil talking. | ||
| They say you scammed them and she says it's not true at all. | ||
| Okay, but what did she say? | ||
| Scroll down a little bit. | ||
| What did she say here? | ||
| Natalia now lives with another Indiana couple and their five children. | ||
| LOL. The man's family, according to DailyMail.com, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Ordained pastor. | ||
| Oh, they suckered him in with Jesus. | ||
| Were you at all concerned at the time that we could be putting the children in jeopardy? | ||
| McGraw asks the family. | ||
| We're supposed to help, the family says. | ||
| They just so happened to come across this person that was not being treated right and cared enough to put the effort to make sure that something was done about it, she said. | ||
| They're suckers. | ||
| They're going to get busted. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, these are people that deserve to be killed. | ||
| Hopefully she carves this family up. | ||
| I was like, is that the family? | ||
| I just looked at them quickly. | ||
| I'm like, is that the person that adopted her? | ||
| Dude, by the way, look at that picture. | ||
| Well, this is an L.A. agent that represents Greta Thunberg and all the crisis kids. | ||
| That's a great book. | ||
| Child activists. | ||
| I do hang around tragedies looking for kids who have it. | ||
| Greta, baby, you killed it at the fucking UN. You're an animal. | ||
| Why are you crying, honey? | ||
| Oh, okay, no. | ||
| Are there cameras on you? | ||
| Keep crying. | ||
| Throw yourself on the floor. | ||
| Throw yourself on the floor right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Malala left me for a competitor and you haven't heard her fucking name in two years. | |
| Who's Malala? | ||
| She's a girl that got shot. | ||
| David Hobb won't take a fucking meeting. | ||
| I've sent 30 pairs of sneakers to his dorm. | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| Tell Malala she's gotta come out as non-binary if she wants heat now. | ||
| That's the way it is. | ||
| Nobody gives a shit about landmines anymore. | ||
| It's all climate. | ||
| Climate is sexy. | ||
| Climate and guns. | ||
| Clean water? | ||
| That hasn't been hot since the fucking late 90s. | ||
| Do people even fucking drink water? | ||
| Wake the fuck up! | ||
| I got the Covington kids and Nathan Phillips on a reconciliation tour opening for Lizzo! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who is it? | |
| Emma Gonzalez? | ||
| Don't put her through. | ||
| She's fucked me for the last time. | ||
| I had her booked at Davos. | ||
| She got sick. | ||
| You get sick? | ||
| At Davos? | ||
| We got a new version of the Pole Brothers from Syria. | ||
| They're fucking hilarious. | ||
| They do pranks. | ||
| One of them's missing an arm and they have fun with that. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| We got a kid with a cleft lip, but he's cute. | ||
| I want hog at Madison Square Garden. | ||
| People are turning in their guns and crying to him. | ||
| They're handing their guns over to him and they're crying. | ||
| Yeah, this is just Jason. | ||
| I got a call for David. | ||
| Yeah, just let him know that I called. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We actually sent some stuff in the mail over if he could take a look at it. | |
| Just a few sneakers and... | ||
| Okay, sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We got a kid, right now, he has no limbs, he is fucking hilarious, and he does a whole bit about the refugee crisis. | ||
| You have no idea how hard this kid is going to hit when he hits. | ||
| Do you understand? | ||
| No limbs. | ||
| We walk him out, we put him in a seat, and he just fucking goes, man. | ||
| He just goes. | ||
| These kids will own you one day. | ||
| I will make sure of it. | ||
| They will fucking own you! | ||
| I got a three-year-old from Iceland in Gunnar. | ||
| He loves economics. | ||
| He's talking about debt peonage. | ||
| I got him at the World Bank in three weeks. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| So, I mean, eventually YouTube's going to go, we're not participating in this. | ||
| Are you worried about that? | ||
| I think I am a little bit. | ||
| Gavin McGinnis is still on YouTube. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Well, that's why I want to be... | ||
| That's your canary in the coal mine. | ||
| Yeah, that's a bit... | ||
| I left on Molyneux. | ||
| He's still on. | ||
| I appreciate this. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah, no, I mean, listen, I like Gavin. | ||
| Gavin's a nice guy. | ||
| But the reality is, I think that YouTube seems like they're done with small creators. | ||
| My channel is pretty small, Tim Dillon Show. | ||
| It's not a huge channel. | ||
| Let's make it bigger. | ||
| Let's make it bigger. | ||
| Tim Dillon Show on YouTube. | ||
| Please subscribe. | ||
| Yeah, so that when they get rid of it in a month, I can at least get mad about something. | ||
| Send positive comments only. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Even if they're sarcastic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somehow the positive comments will be worse. | ||
| You look great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't look fat at all. | ||
| I mean, so we do these videos. | ||
| They're a lot of fun. | ||
| And, you know, we can't do them on network TV. They're not going to allow us to do it. | ||
| No way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No chance. | |
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, what is he at now? | ||
| 18,000 subscribers? | ||
| Yeah, 18,000 subscribers. | ||
| Let's see what we can get that bitch up to by the end of the... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, thank you. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| I thought I would be able to do this stuff on TV. What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's not going to happen. | ||
| No, but it's better this way. | ||
| You don't want anybody telling you what to do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| Your style of comedy, that Meghan McCain thing, is fucking hilarious, and there's no way. | ||
| Holy fuck, daddy! | ||
| Yeah, they're not gonna let me do that. | ||
| There's not a chance in hell. | ||
| I played that on this podcast at least four times. | ||
| You've played it for, like, doctors. | ||
| You've played it for, like, people that Nobel laureates... | ||
| They're, like, making a point. | ||
| You're like, you've seen Tim Dillon do Meghan McCain? | ||
| People are like, what? | ||
| People are like, I have five Pulitzer Prizes. | ||
| You're like, take a look at this fat guy yelling at his wanting to fuck his dad. | ||
| I wish we could convince Meghan to just, like, just unblock you. | ||
| I thought it would be funny, because I'm headlining Caroline's in March in New York, and I thought it would be funny to shoot a promo where I show up dressed as her and just sit in the audience of The View. | ||
| I thought that would be funny, but I've been advised legally that that might not be the best course of action. | ||
| Yeah, Whoopi Goldberg will stab you. | ||
| Yes, but that's a great promo. | ||
| Whoopi Goldberg stabbing me as Meghan McCain and then just Tim Dillon. | ||
| Yeah, she'll probably stab you a couple times before she gets tired. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, what I would think would be amazing is you in the dressing room, the makeup chair, getting turned into Meghan McCain, and Meghan McCain walks in and beats the fuck out of you. | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| Is she down for you? | ||
| Is she cool? | ||
| This is how they tortured my dad in Vietnam, and she gets you in an armbar. | ||
| Listen, the only person that could make that happen is you. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I don't think I could. | ||
| I think you're the only guy. | ||
| I think you've got to get Tommy Lauren on the phone. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's actually another point. | ||
| What else are the fembots? | ||
| How many? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know too many of them. | ||
| But, I mean, Megan is... | ||
| Here's the thing about Megan. | ||
| I do respect how much she is always willing to be, you know, like, annoying. | ||
| Did you see the thing with her in Donald Trump Jr.? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was heavy. | ||
| Like, him going on The View was heavy. | ||
| It's like, wow, why? | ||
| And all these idiots are like, fire hurts. | ||
| Like, you can't! | ||
| That's the show! | ||
| The show is drama! | ||
| Well, listen, the only way it's any good is if they're... | ||
| Do you want to hear their real opinions about stuff? | ||
| No, I want Rosie O'Donnell back talking about... | ||
| 9-11! | ||
| Well, if you want to get back at Trump, you hire Rosie again. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| That's a great idea. | ||
| Because Rosie and Trump fucking hate each other. | ||
| They hate each other. | ||
| They fucking hate each other. | ||
| I mean, he would go on TV and call her a loser. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I grew up, that was a feud. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| As I was growing up, that was a feud. | ||
| It was Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump. | ||
| When he did it on Twitter, like right after he won, he was talking shit about Rosie. | ||
| Well, it was a big thing with Megyn Kelly. | ||
| She was like, you've called women pigs, this, that, and the other thing. | ||
| And he goes, only Rosie O'Donnell. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Only Rosie O'Donnell. | ||
| And it got a huge pop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| A huge pop. | ||
| Yeah, look, he's fucking funny. | ||
| He knows how to be funny. | ||
| What is Megyn Kelly going to do? | ||
| What's her comeback? | ||
| Well, she wants to do a podcast, and they actually contacted me about her coming on here. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| She wants to do... | ||
| I mean, look, she definitely could do a podcast. | ||
| Her comments about blackface were... | ||
| I get that they were tone-deaf, but when you watch it in context... | ||
| It's weird that she lost her job. | ||
| They were trying to get rid of her. | ||
| For the way she said it. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| She's like, why can't you pretend to be someone who you admire like Diana Ross? | ||
| It's not a bad question. | ||
| The problem is you can say that on a podcast. | ||
| I just did. | ||
| Why can't you? | ||
| You can't get fired from a podcast. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But what she didn't understand is how they were going to use that to attack her. | ||
| And then she has this fucking apology video. | ||
| It looks like there's ISIS guys behind her with a fucking sword to her neck. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| It was a goddamn hostage video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I saw her though. | |
| I'm sorry. | ||
| The week she was... | ||
| I did not know. | ||
| The week she was leaving Fox, again, I was in there doing Red Eye. | ||
| I saw her. | ||
| She knew she was kind of doing the wrong thing. | ||
| She was sitting in the makeup chair. | ||
| She just had this weird energy. | ||
| You can't go from Fox to then being America's sweetheart on NBC in the morning. | ||
| And she didn't pull it off, but she did make $60 million. | ||
| It's a lot of money. | ||
| She could tell everyone to eat her ass for the end of time. | ||
| You have $60 million. | ||
| You don't have to do shit ever again for the rest of your life. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Her kids are safe. | ||
| She's safe. | ||
| They're all set up. | ||
| They're set. | ||
| I would tell her to do it, too. | ||
| Fox is not going to give her that kind of money. | ||
| That's fucking money, money, money, money, money. | ||
| It's big money. | ||
| But it's not as much money as Bill O'Reilly paid out gals. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| How much did he think he paid out gals? | ||
| He paid that woman, Lease Wheel, $32 million, I believe. | ||
| Check that, Jamie. | ||
| You just swam that wrong. | ||
| And this is weird for me because my Long Island grandfather had the Patriots welcome Bill O'Reilly mat every Thanksgiving. | ||
| You would step right on it. | ||
| And you would sit down and Bill O'Reilly's voice was bellowing through the house. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because this is my grandparents who I love to death. | ||
| They love Fox and they love Bill O'Reilly because Bill was a traditionalist. | ||
| Yeah, for old white people. | ||
| Even with the $32 million settlement, Bill O'Reilly made millions last year. | ||
| He's doing well. | ||
| What do you think he did? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| More than two years old? | ||
| $32 million. | ||
| You have to be guilty, right? | ||
| You did something. | ||
| And it's dark. | ||
| Like a hairbrush up your ass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Piss in my mouth. | ||
| She's got photos and videos of him doing crazy shit. | ||
| Or threatening her. | ||
| Didn't he get caught leaving crazy messages on some gal's voicemail? | ||
| Yeah, he said, I'm going to loo for you. | ||
| Before that one, that was his sixth settlement for $32 million. | ||
| He had five previous that totaled $13 million, so he's $45 million in the hole for that. | ||
| Six. | ||
| Separate instance. | ||
| You know, he's a traditionalist. | ||
| He's a traditionalist. | ||
| He's a traditionalist. | ||
| This is a traditionalist. | ||
| Listen, it's only half a hundred million. | ||
| It's fifty million dollars because you made a few boo-boos. | ||
| You made a few mistakes at work. | ||
| All these people don't understand that a man needs to get some things off his chest. | ||
| Well, I think there's also... | ||
| there was the environment that these guys sort of came up in, whether it's Matt Lauer or whether it's Bill O'Reilly, these guys who are like, they're buttoned down on television, and then off air, they would blow off some steam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, a lot. | |
| And some of them were more wacky than other ones. | ||
| And, you know, Lauer, didn't that Ronan Farrow guy prove that there was a bunch of other settlements that NBC had denied about Matt Lauer? | ||
| Well, he just put out a book. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Catch and release. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the other thing is, you've got to remember, guys like Bill O'Reilly and Matt Lauer, they rose through the ranks to the heads of their, I mean, it's a certain type of person that gets there. | ||
| The details were already known. | ||
| What is new information, though, is that her agreement demanded she turn over all evidence which she conversed with O'Reilly, and furthermore, to act like such evidence never existed. | ||
| Her settlement also required that she lie, even in legal proceedings or under oath, if any evidence becomes public by calling the evidence counterfeits or forgeries. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sounds like Bill's got a good attorney. | ||
| Yeah, Bill's attorney's not fucking around. | ||
| Bill's attorney's got a fucking knife in his teeth like Rambo. | ||
| Bill sits down with the ladies and goes, you're going to never work again, but you're also never going to talk again. | ||
| You're going to keep your mouth shut. | ||
| You don't need to work, baby. | ||
| You don't need to work, yeah. | ||
| Daddy Bill's going to take care of everything. | ||
| $32 million. | ||
| Ooh, that's a good sum to have in the bank. | ||
| $32 million. | ||
| Let me just check my account real quick on my phone. | ||
| Ooh, look at that. | ||
| Look at all the zeros. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| There's a $32 million. | ||
| And then after that, 32. Well, holy shit. | ||
| Look at all them fucking zeros. | ||
| And he's also like, listen, you're alive. | ||
| He didn't kill you. | ||
| You're making 32 million. | ||
| All right, so you were scared to go home for a little bit. | ||
| 32. Zero, zero, zero. | ||
| My favorite thing about Bill O'Reilly, he tried to get the Catholic Church to excommunicate his ex-wife. | ||
| Yes, he's like, I'm not getting divorced. | ||
| Fuck her. | ||
| That is the best thing. | ||
| He tried to send his ex-wife to hell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| That is big. | ||
| And by the way, mother of his kids. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like, let's say he got it done in his worldview, in the Catholic worldview, she's going to hell. | ||
| So he would have to sit down with his kids and go, now you know your mother's going to hell. | ||
| And I made that happen. | ||
| Didn't he also try to get the marriage annulled so he didn't have to get divorced? | ||
| I think so, but I remember that he was like, if we can't annul it, just doom her to hell. | ||
| Just excommunicate her and let the woman that gave me children just live on the lake of fire forever. | ||
| Well, here's the real question. | ||
| A freak like that doesn't just... | ||
| I mean, he was a freak deep into his 60s. | ||
| And he's still a freak now. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's still a freak. | ||
| People don't change. | ||
| So what's he doing? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| What's he doing? | ||
| I think now there's a lot of NDAs, which there should have been back then. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| They could break those. | ||
| How did he not get caught up in Fuck Island? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, because... | |
| I don't know. | ||
| He's a traditionalist. | ||
| He probably likes some dirty over 30s. | ||
| He's a Long Island guy. | ||
| He likes an old woman he can beat. | ||
| He doesn't... | ||
| He doesn't want a young chick on an island. | ||
| He wants a woman who's terrified, whose life's been horrible. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Horowitz to testify. | ||
| He's got his own website. | ||
| Impeachment hearings. | ||
| Oh, BillOReilly.com. | ||
| I think it has massive traffic, too. | ||
| I think it does really well. | ||
| Didn't we find this out, that his videos have fucking hundreds of millions of views or something ridiculous like that? | ||
| It's on his own site, so it would be really hard to know. | ||
| But doesn't he have some things on YouTube or something like that? | ||
| I saw him once in a clam bar. | ||
| This is where I'm going to have to go eventually. | ||
| I'm going to have to go to JoeRogan.com and just have videos up. | ||
| Otherwise, as things grow, you're still under the umbrella of these companies. | ||
| I don't say anything so outrageous other than this episode where I could get yanked off the air. | ||
| I'm blaming you. | ||
| But it's worth it. | ||
| Oh yeah, I guarantee there's going to be a problem later and I'm going to text Jamie and be like, why are you guys not on YouTube? | ||
| He goes, because you're a dumb video that no one watched. | ||
| You fucking lied about Giselle Matchwell or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| I think, but the problem is, YouTube comes with its own built-in audience, right? | ||
| There's a bunch of people that are already subscribing on YouTube. | ||
| I mean, we have millions of subscribers. | ||
| What would we tell those people? | ||
| Hey, I know you. | ||
| Come over here. | ||
| Come over here. | ||
| I think they'll all go. | ||
| Eh, I don't know about that. | ||
| I just don't know what the future for... | ||
| Because there's guys that are like David Dobrik, huge YouTubers that are making all this money, and then a lot of them have talked about their ad revenue has been cut substantially. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Well, a lot of them are starting podcasts. | ||
| Like, Logan Paul started a podcast. | ||
| A lot of these guys are going, oh, the ad money is going to move into podcasts. | ||
| Well, podcasting is a little cleaner in that if you have an audience, it's just an RSS feed and it gets aggregated through iTunes and through the Android apps and all these different apps. | ||
| Do you think right now, supposedly, and I don't know, you would know more about this than me, that there's something that is transcribing podcasts? | ||
| There's a way that they're going to transcribe podcasts that are going forward and ones that have already happened? | ||
| And is that potentially a way... | ||
| Do you think anyone's going to eventually have to have a license, a podcasting license? | ||
| Do you think this will not be the Wild West anymore? | ||
| Are they going to come in and try to regulate this to any degree, would you think? | ||
| I think the cat's out of the bag. | ||
| I think the box is open. | ||
| I just don't think you can at this point in time. | ||
| But I think the clamps, the way you put the clamps down is demonetization. | ||
| They've done that. | ||
| You know, they've done that with a lot of people. | ||
| They've demonetized them off of YouTube. | ||
| They've cut out their Patreon. | ||
| They've cut out PayPal. | ||
| They've done all these different things to keep them from being able to make money. | ||
| Which is a comic. | ||
| Even if I disagree with somebody, even if I think what they're saying is abhorrent... | ||
| As long as they're not harassing or threatening or doxing people, I'm never somebody who says they shouldn't be allowed to have a platform. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Also, the problem is what you're doing by demonetizing someone that's saying something that's very popular. | ||
| Say if you have a channel and your channel has half a million subscribers and you're not doing anything... | ||
| Particularly egregious. | ||
| You're not calling for the death of people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And even if you are, it's goofy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You're not overtly racist. | ||
| But if they demonetize you, what it also does, it sends a signal to people that are also like that, that maybe haven't stepped out that far yet to like, oh, rain it back a little bit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you self-censor. | ||
| You pull it back. | ||
| It was a quote. | ||
| It's like, kill one man, scare a thousand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's what you do. | ||
| I mean, that is what you do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, that's... | ||
| Why do you think they put Wesley Snipes in jail for tax evasion? | ||
| Just to prove to everyone else... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let everybody know. | |
| Hey, you fuck. | ||
| You're going to jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Lauren Hill, same thing. | ||
| Go to jail. | ||
| You're going to jail jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like regular jail. | ||
| Like regular people jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It doesn't matter if you feel like paying the money back. | ||
| Oh, I didn't know. | ||
| My accountant lied to me. | ||
| Doesn't care. | ||
| Get the fuck in the jail. | ||
| They're sending a message. | ||
| Yeah, they're sending a message. | ||
| So do you think, I think after December 12th, YouTube's going to be able to, if your channel's not commercially viable, they'll be able to just get rid of it if they want. | ||
| That's a way for them to stop something in its tracks. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| So say if some new guy comes along. | ||
| Like you. | ||
| You come along, spitting fire, talking shit, and everybody's getting fired up. | ||
| And oh my god, look what he said about Meghan McCain. | ||
| And Meghan McCain calls up YouTube. | ||
| Listen, we're going to take the view, and we're going to pull it off of YouTube if you don't get rid of that fucking fat fuck that's impersonating me. | ||
| Sometimes I wonder if the shadow banning and stuff is because I just made Gary Vaynerchuk mad. | ||
| And I'm like, I made a joke about him. | ||
| Do you think he's powerful enough to just go to all these companies and be like... | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think he would do that. | ||
| I'm kidding, Gary. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I'm inspired by you every day. | ||
| It's all a bit. | ||
| It's a bit. | ||
| It's all a joke. | ||
| I think it's great. | ||
| What happened with him? | ||
| Well, I have a joke about him. | ||
| I made a little video about him because some of the things he tweets, he tweets like kindness is delicious. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What are we doing? | ||
| He puts out a little too much content. | ||
| But it's also like all my loser friends think they're going to be the CEOs of companies because this guy is telling them there's a business inside of everyone. | ||
| And there's not. | ||
| There's just not a business inside of everybody. | ||
| There's a lot of people that just shouldn't be like, you know, that should just fall in line. | ||
| Fall in line. | ||
| We don't need everyone thinking that they're going to be the next CEO. Right, but he's got to send the message out there as if everyone can be. | ||
| That way the people that are listening and get it, the people that get it, they're like, okay, he's saying everyone can, that means me, I'm going to go for it, and then they make it. | ||
| And I appreciate him doing that, but I need to send the message that most people can't. | ||
| A lot of people can't. | ||
| So in the same way that he has a message, I have a message, and my message is, it's not going to happen, and he has the... | ||
| But it's also, there's no specific guidance with a lot of these guys, not only him, but he'll say things like, you could talk about it, or you could do it, but you better do both. | ||
| And it's like, well, what's the it? | ||
| Like he tweeted once, he goes, ideas are shit, it's all about execution. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Execute what? | ||
| What are we gonna do? | ||
| I need help. | ||
| My kids are sick. | ||
| Execute what? | ||
| Can you text me? | ||
| Do I meet you somewhere? | ||
| How do we start this? | ||
| How do we build these businesses? | ||
| Are we gonna do it together? | ||
| Why do you think he got mad? | ||
| He got mad? | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| I don't know if he's mad or not. | ||
| I wonder if a guy like that has a sense of humor. | ||
| I'm a comedian. | ||
| Did something you get pulled that you did? | ||
| The Gary Vee thing, they took it off YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I mean, they took it off Instagram, IG. No. | ||
| And then he walked into a room with a bunch of guys in little hoodies, and he was like, get this fatty, and they did. | ||
| And I'm not mad at that, because I respect power. | ||
| I respect power, Gary. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I'm just saying I'm a funny guy. | ||
| Me and you will do a podcast, Gary. | ||
| It's fine. | ||
| I respect him. | ||
| I respect him. | ||
| He's a smart guy, right? | ||
| He's smart. | ||
| I wonder how many successful people need that. | ||
| Does Warren Buffett look at his phone and go, it's time to hustle? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| How did he get a parody of you removed from Instagram? | ||
| Probably didn't. | ||
| I'm just a conspiracy guy. | ||
| Is it on YouTube still? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's play it. | ||
| Where is it? | ||
| It's probably on YouTube. | ||
| I want to hear what you said. | ||
| And I want to see what was the trigger. | ||
| Well, I also waved a knife around. | ||
| There's stuff that I shouldn't have done. | ||
| I talked about assassinating the president. | ||
| It wasn't... | ||
| But my whole point was that when you give people very general and vague... | ||
| I need to see this now. | ||
| I need to smoke this joint. | ||
| General and vague advice. | ||
| What sometimes happens is that, you know... | ||
| You know, people can, like David Hogg tweeted the other day, he goes, it's the hardest days in our lives that makes us who we are. | ||
| So then I subtweeted it and I wrote, okay, so no gun control. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, and my point there is not to say anything shitty about Hogg, but to say, listen, if you're just going to tweet vague, meaningless horse shit all day, like, that's all that kid does, David Hogg will wake up and he goes, racism is bad. | ||
| And it gets 42,000 likes. | ||
| It's like, cut this shit out. | ||
| Well, isn't he like 17? | ||
| He's a child. | ||
| We gotta stop listening to children. | ||
| Yeah, well that was Louie's joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| About Parkland survivors. | ||
| He's back. | ||
| I'm thrilled he's back. | ||
| He's killing it. | ||
| I'm fucking... | ||
| My friend saw a show the other night. | ||
| He's like, it's the best hour. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I heard he murdered it. | ||
| A guy did a review of him. | ||
| Guy did a review of him. | ||
| He said, I have a very complicated relationship with Louis C.K. I think what he did was horrible. | ||
| I was a fan of his. | ||
| I was greatly disappointed. | ||
| But then I saw his new set and it was fucking amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yes. | ||
| No one even knows what he did. | ||
| He's like, I think what he did was horrible. | ||
| It's like, describe what he did. | ||
| The guy's like, ah, well, you know. | ||
| Did you see that girl that... | ||
| Well, hold on a second. | ||
| Oh, here. | ||
| I found it. | ||
| You found it. | ||
| Okay, play this. | ||
| It's on Twitter, by the way. | ||
| Oh, it's on Twitter. | ||
| Hey, by the way, stop. | ||
| Pause it for a second. | ||
| Shout out to Twitter. | ||
| Shout out to Twitter. | ||
| Thank you, Twitter. | ||
| They let it fly. | ||
| Because Twitter let Meghan McCain fly. | ||
| They let it all fly. | ||
| Twitter lets everything fly. | ||
| You can take it in the ass. | ||
| On Twitter, they have porn. | ||
| It's an adult site. | ||
| This is for adults. | ||
| I just love that they do that. | ||
| They kept the Meghan McCain thing up, whereas YouTube or Instagram took it down, right? | ||
| Instagram... | ||
| You got two things taken down. | ||
| Two strikes, buddy. | ||
| That's why I'm not... | ||
| I barely put the videos on Instagram anymore because I don't want to lose my account. | ||
| Good call. | ||
| Let's hear this. | ||
| I learned the most important word ever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop crying and just keep hustling. | |
| Guys, we're building businesses here. | ||
| Where do I meet you, man? | ||
| Let's fucking do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And so you can say it or you can do it, but I highly recommend you do both. | |
| I'll do it. | ||
| I'll say it and I'll do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I used to work in a liquor store for seven straight years and the only days off I took were to watch the New York Jets. | |
| And you know what that did? | ||
| It made me throw up on myself, so that wasn't a vacation. | ||
| My son is sick. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about your problems. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Hustle is the most important word ever! | ||
| What about the word jug? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Recognize that you can attack the world in a totally different way. | |
| Oh! | ||
| I should kill the president! | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the issue. | |
| I don't think Gary Vee got it. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| We're being stupid. | ||
| We made this at like 3am. | ||
| Come on, it's fucking hilarious. | ||
| You're a comedian. | ||
| We just gotta have a little fun. | ||
| Gary, we love you. | ||
| We love you, Gary. | ||
| Congratulations on all your success. | ||
| Open invite on my show anytime you want to come. | ||
| He's been on mine. | ||
| I'm sure he's more hyped about going on yours than mine. | ||
| He sent me a pair of his sneakers, but they were too small. | ||
| What size are you wearing? | ||
| 13. A fan of his sent me a pair of his sneakers, and actually they're K-Swiss sneakers that he's put his name on, but they're nice and comfortable. | ||
| Yeah, he sent me like 10 and a half, so my feet are all fucked up in them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you see that? | ||
| Are you guys talking about Megan McKellie? | ||
| She has a YouTube channel now, I don't know if you know that. | ||
| Megan McKellie? | ||
| Megan McKellie, yeah. | ||
| Megan McKellie, it's just a hyper... | ||
| Her first video she launched was talking to the girl that was fired from CBS for putting out that ABC clip, and she said she was falsely fired. | ||
| Yeah, she said she didn't even do it. | ||
| And then the guy, Project Veritas guy, said it wasn't her either. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, so she got fired for nothing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But was she the one who captured it, though? | ||
| She did, but in her defense, she said that was her job. | ||
| Her job was to capture things, mark them internally, for in case anybody wanted to use it for anything in the future. | ||
| Yeah, she got thrown to the wolves. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And also, she said for blooper reels. | ||
| Yeah, it could have been for anything. | ||
| There's lots of things they mark stuff for. | ||
| They do that when you do a sitcom. | ||
| You know, they do the blooper reel where every time you fuck up your line, like, we still love those for news radio. | ||
| We should play them at the end of the season at the wrap party. | ||
| We play the blooper reel. | ||
| That's probably what they were doing. | ||
| The thing is about those new shows, there's no season. | ||
| It just keeps going, baby. | ||
| It just keeps going and going. | ||
| And I was listening to the thing you did with Matt and Taibbi, and he was like, yeah, they just want access to people. | ||
| They just want to interview Will and Kate. | ||
| They're like, we're not going to get too sticky in this. | ||
| No. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, they want access. | ||
| And that's what they don't want to throw away by some crazy... | ||
| And they depend on people in the government to get access. | ||
| And if you're a pariah and you're on the outside, you don't get the White House press pass. | ||
| See, the thing about this Epstein thing is it's like such an open door... | ||
| Conspiracies. | ||
| Oh, it's an open door into a lot of powerful people having to account for themselves, and that's not in their plan. | ||
| I think that's part of what's happening to YouTube, where they're like, we don't like the idea that somebody like Alex Jones can start a channel and have more views than the nightly news. | ||
| That means we're losing power and we're losing control. | ||
| And I think that somewhere, whether it was in Davos or whatever, Bilderberg Conference, there was a room full of people that were like, we gotta rein technology in a little bit. | ||
| You don't think that there's some thought to that? | ||
| Well, there certainly is. | ||
| There certainly is. | ||
| These guys are uncomfortable. | ||
| Well, I mean, especially people that have already done things that are illegal or immoral, unethical, and there's some sort of evidence of them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But this guy was like the cream of the crop, right? | ||
| But what he was was like the... | ||
| If you're a conspiracy theorist looking for something really crazy, this is a best case scenario because it has everything. | ||
| It has powerful people, it has underage girls, it has all the equations. | ||
| It has illegal sexual activity with underage girls on an island that he flies you to that has a fucking temple that's painted the color of the Israeli flag. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of... | ||
| But also... | ||
| It's unfolding in real time. | ||
| Yeah, but it's also like it's an island that people called Fuck Island? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, Pedophile Island, Kid Fuck Island, whatever it is. | ||
| This is like a James Bond movie. | ||
| It's absolutely. | ||
| It's like a weird Tom Clancy novel about... | ||
| But this guy clearly was allowed to get away with this. | ||
| The first deal he got was a sweetheart deal. | ||
| He was allowed to go home... | ||
| During the day, this was a guy that was convicted of having sex, molesting a 14-year-old. | ||
| What they convicted him of, I think, had to do with a massage parlor? | ||
| Well, something. | ||
| It was a 14-year-old girl, and then he was allowed... | ||
| One of the things, the provisions, was to not name any co-conspirators. | ||
| So that first deal was like he was not going to have to... | ||
| Now, that wasn't going to work like that this time. | ||
| They were going to be like, you're now going to sin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And nobody was letting that happen. | ||
| What do you think they're doing with the guards? | ||
| Do you think they're putting pressure on the guards and going, hey, you've got to fill us in the blanks. | ||
| One of the guards said no to a plea bargain. | ||
| Which I thought was very interesting. | ||
| That's very interesting too. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It doesn't seem – I would have to have faith that – I think there's elements in the FBI and there's probably elements in the government that want to get to the bottom of this. | ||
| But they're going up against a wall of people that don't want to get to the bottom of this. | ||
| We're talking billionaires. | ||
| We're talking about people that run countries. | ||
| We're talking about ex-presidents. | ||
| We're talking about potentially intelligence agencies. | ||
| And they're going to just hit that wall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like the old ones better with no consequences. | ||
| Like the Kennedy assassination. | ||
| Well, because it was all over. | ||
| Yeah, it's done. | ||
| It's all over. | ||
| It's just we're looking back. | ||
| This is playing out right now. | ||
| It's unfolding in real time. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I remember when I woke up and he was killed. | ||
| So many people had messaged me. | ||
| They were like, this is kind of what you said was going to happen. | ||
| And it fucking happened. | ||
| This is the craziest thing ever. | ||
| President's chief says FBI looking at possible criminal enterprise in Epstein's death. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| These guys are very good at what they do. | ||
| If this was Mossad, or if it was CIA, or even if it was billionaires that contracted this out, too, I mean, these people are very good at what they do. | ||
| Did you ever read the book The Strange Death of Vince Foster? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Do you know about that book? | ||
| No. | ||
| Vince Foster was a guy who... | ||
| Well, I know that. | ||
| I know that he shot himself, what, in the head twice or something? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Something. | ||
| Before he was about to testify in white water? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was about to testify. | ||
| He shot himself. | ||
| The gun was still in his hand. | ||
| There was less body at the scene of the crime than was missing from his body. | ||
| They think his body was potentially moved. | ||
| These are all the conspiracies that I read. | ||
| I don't know how much of his actual factual. | ||
| But it was one of the first ones that I remember reading. | ||
| Well, there was one about... | ||
| It was very interesting, and that's very interesting, but there was this... | ||
| After Oklahoma City, there was a cop named Terrence Yeeke, and he started to investigate what had happened because he just wasn't... | ||
| He didn't think it was just one guy. | ||
| He didn't think it was just McVeigh. | ||
| And this guy, Terrence Yeeke, ended up, like, again, shooting himself in the head and then crawling a mile and climbing a fence because he wanted to die somewhere more private. | ||
| That was, like, the official story. | ||
| So, Michael Hastings... | ||
| Journalist in LA. Ended up going, you know, right by a really good restaurant, Austria Moza. | ||
| Said to his wife and kids, hey, to his wife, he was like, listen, I've gone off the grid. | ||
| I'm working on a big story. | ||
| I think people are fucking around with my car. | ||
| A day later or two days later, his car accelerates into a tree right in the middle of Hollywood. | ||
| So things are happening. | ||
| You know, not just that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The engine. | ||
| It flew out. | ||
| It flew out of the car, which is never supposed to happen. | ||
| It's an indication of some sort of explosion, the conspiracy is. | ||
| And if any of that, think of any of those stories, if any of them had happened in Russia... | ||
| If any of them had happened in another country, what would all of the journalists in America be saying? | ||
| Do you know the Hastings origin story? | ||
| Do you know what happened? | ||
| I don't know the origin story. | ||
| It's the story. | ||
| He went to the Middle East, and he was embedded. | ||
| He was only supposed to be there for a short period of time, but then the volcano happened. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Remember that volcano that blew and they couldn't fly? | ||
| Right, so then he stayed with the journal. | ||
| Right, with McChrystal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or Petraeus? | ||
| McChrystal, Stanley McChrystal, yeah. | ||
| And he heard them say a lot of shit that he wasn't supposed to hear. | ||
| They joked around about a lot of things. | ||
| And he put that in the story. | ||
| They got comfortable with him. | ||
| They thought he wouldn't fuck them. | ||
| And he fucked them. | ||
| They treated him the same way they treat everybody. | ||
| They tell jokes. | ||
| They joked around about Obama. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he wrote the Runaway General. | ||
| Hey man, they're fucking blowing off steam in a goddamn war zone. | ||
| The Runaway General, the profile that brought down McChrystal. | ||
| So this is, he's the guy that wrote it. | ||
| And McChrystal, Michael Hastings, McChrystal was, like, beloved. | ||
| Beloved by the troops, and he had to step down. | ||
| So when he had to step down, that's when people were saying, oh, well, that's probably why they killed him. | ||
| Yeah, it's very possible. | ||
| I mean, you make those kind of enemies, like we talked about Kennedy, it's like you make... | ||
| That's the thing with conspiracy theorists. | ||
| They think everything's just five guys in a room. | ||
| It's not. | ||
| There's a lot of powerful people with a lot of money and resources that can make your life very hard. | ||
| They can tar you in the press. | ||
| They can slander you. | ||
| And that guy clearly... | ||
| Or they can get rid of you. | ||
| I mean, Hastings clearly fucked that guy over. | ||
| He fucked that guy over? | ||
| I mean, well... | ||
| And he just said, I'm just going to go for it. | ||
| This is what I do as a journalist. | ||
| Hastings probably was like, listen, this is what I do as a journalist. | ||
| There's people dying. | ||
| This is a war. | ||
| And I'm going to do what I feel I have to do. | ||
| But it's also like those people are over there in the most duress-filled situations on earth. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And I think it's so weird that we look at that from times of peace, or from the land of peace, the environment of peace, and even comprehend, like, just jokes. | ||
| They just said jokes? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| I mean, what did he, I don't remember what he said that was so awful. | ||
| I forget what he said, but I knew it made Obama... | ||
| Because Obama's still the commander-in-chief. | ||
| So the idea that you have a very big general openly mocking the commander-in-chief in Rolling Stone magazine is probably not a good look. | ||
| And then you got it just because of the way... | ||
| That things work. | ||
| He's gotta go. | ||
| Will you Google it, Jamie? | ||
| Google what did McChrystal say about Obama that got him fired? | ||
| Trump just pardoned somebody, and I forget. | ||
| He was a controversial military guy. | ||
| He was a SEAL that was accused of taking a photograph with a dead body. | ||
| That was it? | ||
| What Trump did, he didn't pardon him. | ||
| He gave him his rank back. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So his rank was stripped, and that would have cost him a lot of money and benefits. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And Trump reinstated his military status. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a very... | ||
| I know there was a lot of opinions. | ||
| Very public story. | ||
| It was a very, very controversial story. | ||
| The whole thing was. | ||
| I get that things happen in wartime that we, you know, sitting here in a cushy environment in Los Angeles, like, couldn't possibly understand. | ||
| But I do think, you know, you can't just let the chaos of it become its own law. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because then it kind of defeats the purpose of whatever the hell we're trying to do. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| It says, Obama angry after reading McChrystal's remarks. | ||
| I wonder what they were. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure it does. | ||
| I found a couple in the actual article. | ||
| It said he looked intimidated in front of brass or something like that. | ||
| That Obama did? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's what they were saying? | ||
| First thing that it was said. | ||
| Yeah, this is what you said. | ||
| Uncomfortable and intimidated. | ||
| This is what you would talk about with your friends if you had a couple of drinks. | ||
| McChrystal thought Obama looked uncomfortable and intimidated by room-filled military brass. | ||
| Their first one-on-one meeting took place at the Oval Office four months later after McChrystal got the Afghanistan job. | ||
| Didn't do much better. | ||
| It was a 10-minute photo op, says an advisor to McChrystal. | ||
| Obama clearly didn't know anything about him, who he was. | ||
| Here's the guy who's gonna run his fucking war, but he didn't seem very engaged. | ||
| The boss was pretty disappointed. | ||
| Now, let me defend this for a second. | ||
| If I was Obama, I would be intimidated as fuck. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| You just became president and you're going in around these generals who are like the baddest military motherfuckers on earth in the middle of a real war where they have to kill bad guys. | ||
| And this is what you're relying on to kill these bad guys who could be very, very dangerous. | ||
| I know Obama had no experience with that. | ||
| You're gonna be intimidated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Now, here's the other thing. | ||
| He wasn't engaged. | ||
| This has always been my take on it. | ||
| About being a president. | ||
| There's no fucking way you could be on top of everything. | ||
| Can't. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| I don't think we even comprehend all the different things you have to be paying attention to if you're gonna be the fucking president. | ||
| Right. | ||
| military taxes right decline in the stock market this and that and then you're in Twitter wars with people at the same time and then there's foreign policy North Korea yeah holy shit there's so many things it's impossible and he probably didn't know how to assert himself and he probably even though it didn't work out so well I mean what the fuck do you tell a guy like McChrystal who's running this war If you're Obama, do you fire him? | ||
| He probably doesn't know. | ||
| Interesting, so you don't get rid of him. | ||
| No! | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| But you're the president! | ||
| He's right! | ||
| The guy's right! | ||
| Right, I know. | ||
| He was fucking intimidated. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You bring the guy in, you give him respect, you have a conversation with him, and you say, look, I'm not a perfect person. | ||
| If I handle that incorrectly, I'm just learning how to be the fucking president of the United States. | ||
| It's a crazy gig. | ||
| I mean, he's only in his 40s. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| I mean, as amazing as he is, as intelligent as he is, as well-read and articulate as he is, he's still fucking kind of young to be running the greatest army the world's ever known. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Everybody is. | ||
| Nobody's qualified for that job. | ||
| Nobody's qualified, yeah. | ||
| It's too crazy. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| I would have brought the guy in. | ||
| I would have brought him in. | ||
| Let's have a fucking drink. | ||
| Let's have a meal. | ||
| Let's have a summit. | ||
| Yeah, look, if I've disrespected you, if you felt bad, I'm sorry. | ||
| And then you kill Michael Hastings together. | ||
| Together. | ||
| Until Obama brings him a crystal in and go, let's kill him together. | ||
| If that's it, if that's it, Jesus Christ, imagine that getting you whacked. | ||
| Well, I mean, less than that will get you whacked. | ||
| I know, but that seems to me like men could have worked that out. | ||
| They should have. | ||
| I mean, yeah, I seem like it. | ||
| I mean, I'm never going to be the fucking president. | ||
| I have no desire to be a mayor of anything. | ||
| Are you going to moderate a debate? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Never. | |
| Because that's online. | ||
| People want it, Joe. | ||
| No, I'm tired. | ||
| I'm just tired. | ||
| Joe, people want it. | ||
| I'm moving away from all this stuff. | ||
| You're not leaving LA. I'm moving away from more. | ||
| I'm moving away from more. | ||
| But... | ||
| One thing I would try to do in a situation like that is set an example of how I want my neighbors to act. | ||
| I don't want my neighbors to fucking cancel each other if one guy says the other guy looked intimidated about something to his wife and you hear about it. | ||
| Part of that is because you're a fighter and you came up with that conflict resolution and then you have, you know, isn't that, do you think part of that's martial arts, the way you look at situations or no? | ||
| I mean, maybe, but it's also a sense of camaraderie. | ||
| I think people can work out a lot more problems than they think they can. | ||
| That's probably true. | ||
| And it's a better plan for everybody. | ||
| Most people will fucking engage you angry if you engage them angry. | ||
| But most people, if you go, come on, man, I'm not looking for any trouble. | ||
| And they know you're sincere. | ||
| You're like, this is how I felt. | ||
| Maybe you felt different. | ||
| Maybe this is how you felt. | ||
| But let me tell you how I meant, what I meant, what I said. | ||
| And I fucked up the way I said it, or I did this, or maybe I should have been more sensitive. | ||
| Let's work it out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's work it out as people. | ||
| It's becoming harder to do that with technology. | ||
| But when you got the president who fires the fucking number one general. | ||
| He's like, you know, you said something about me being intimidated. | ||
| Get the fuck out of the fucking... | ||
| Right. | ||
| You can't, man. | ||
| You can't, yeah. | ||
| What else did he say? | ||
| Did he say something else? | ||
| Oh, in person, in private, Team McChrystal likes to talk shit about many of Obama's top people on the diplomatic side. | ||
| 180 calls Jim Jones, a retired four-star general, veteran of the Cold War, a clown who remains stuck in 1985. But listen, this is what guys do. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| You're asking this guy. | ||
| You're asking this guy to be a fucking assassin for freedom, right? | ||
| That's what he's doing. | ||
| He's out there murking bad guys in other parts of the world. | ||
| You send him over there, and then you want him to follow the same human resource codes that a guy who was the fucking manager... | ||
| Works at J.P. Morgan or something does. | ||
| Or not even, like fucking... | ||
| Geico. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Yeah, Geico. | ||
| Yeah, perfect example. | ||
| You're asking... | ||
| Of course the guy's on edge. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Fucking missiles are flying over his head. | ||
| Yeah, he's a professional killer. | ||
| His friends are getting killed. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's got to make the decisions that will send thousands of men potentially to their death. | |
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| Of course he's on edge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He calls someone a clown. | ||
| It's amazing that's all he does. | ||
| Right, that's true. | ||
| It's amazing he doesn't find the people he hates and cuts their fucking heads off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay, that's what he's doing. | ||
| You're turning him into a warrior, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's a warrior. | ||
| He's a professional soldier. | ||
| You're sending him to these insane places of conflict, and you're upset if he calls somebody a clown? | ||
| Yeah, that's stupid. | ||
| It's insane! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Men should be able to work things like that out. | ||
| I know, but this is, you know, they don't. | ||
| They should be able to work things out. | ||
| People hold grudges for a long time and then those grudges become, you know, policy and... | ||
| That's so ridiculous. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| To be a man, you have to be a clown. | ||
| Every now and then you fuck up. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That's just part of being a man. | ||
| There's this illusion of the invulnerable person, the person that never makes mistakes and it's always perfect. | ||
| Do you think Obama thought to himself, if I don't do this, I will look weak? | ||
| Sure, sure. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| I'm just trying to, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I could never imagine. | ||
| I can never imagine that gig. | ||
| That gig is fucking impossible for any human. | ||
| It's a very good chance I will not be the president. | ||
| I mean, look at Obama. | ||
| I mean, like, a fucking Harvard graduate, brilliant guy, lawyer, super articulate, as polished as they ever get. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| Even he can't do it right. | ||
| Nobody can do it right. | ||
| It's not designed to be done right. | ||
| You can't do it, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You can't do it if you're Trump. | ||
| You can't do it if you're Obama. | ||
| It's the end stage of the empire. | ||
| It's basically we're just trying to land the plane or we're trying to sustain. | ||
| Everyone knows. | ||
| There's too many things coming that no president and no political solution will help. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's AI and automation. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Andrew Yang, but I don't know what his rallies, he's on a skateboard all the time. | ||
| He's like, we have a lot of fun at our rallies. | ||
| It's like, but the whole point of your campaign is in five years, 40% of us are going to be fighting for water. | ||
| And then he's skateboarding around his rallies. | ||
| He's got to dance that dance of making people like him. | ||
| That's the thing about running for president. | ||
| He's a very, very nice guy. | ||
| And he's a smart guy and he gets what's happening. | ||
| He scared me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When he started talking about automation taking over jobs and about universal basic income, people going to need it to stay alive and survive. | ||
| I'm like, whoa. | ||
| Maybe this guy's like the fucking, you know, the beginning of the Terminator where someone's warning you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, we'll kill him. | ||
| Andrew Yang's going into a tree next week if he keeps this up. | ||
| He won't be because no one's in charge of the machine. | ||
| That's what's nuts. | ||
| With this machine of AI, once it goes live, I'm so scared of it. | ||
| I really think that we are... | ||
| We're the last human era. | ||
| Do you think we're at the end of the human era? | ||
| This is the path that I see. | ||
| This is what freaks me out. | ||
| I see technology. | ||
| Technology is innovating on this accelerated pace. | ||
| Super accelerated. | ||
| And it started out very rudimentary. | ||
| It started out when we were really complicated. | ||
| So we were really complicated, and it was like flint tools. | ||
| And then it went from flint tools to a bow and arrow with a flint on the end of it, to a fucking canoe, to a house, to a this, to a that, to electricity and solar panels. | ||
| And it just kept getting better and better and better and better at an insane accelerated rate. | ||
| But we look like the same people that made the fucking arrowhead. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| We didn't evolve that kid. | ||
| We may be devolving. | ||
| We're going the other way. | ||
| I'm sure we're evolving in terms of intelligence. | ||
| We certainly have more access to intelligence or to information than anybody's ever had ever. | ||
| And it's hard to tell exactly what gets passed down from parent to child. | ||
| But I think it's pretty likely that some data gets passed down and not just from interacting with the parents while you're growing up. | ||
| I think you get some that maybe you don't know what it is. | ||
| Maybe you don't recognize it. | ||
| But there's some memories in your head or some basic... | ||
| Understanding of what's bad and good. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And I think that's why some people are afraid of spiders, because it's some shit that's in their DNA. They know. | ||
| They have a particular fear of something, because somewhere in their memory, someone's DNA had, I got bit by a spider. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| It was like an imprint. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think we are just slow as fuck, like every other thing on this planet. | ||
| When you see an eagle a thousand years ago, it looks like a fucking eagle. | ||
| It's going to look like a fucking eagle a thousand years from now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They got the design down. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It swoops in, it gets the salmon, it's all it needs to do. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's got it down. | ||
| But we can't keep up with this fucking thing we made. | ||
| So this thing we made is going to take over. | ||
| Why don't we slow it down? | ||
| Why don't we legislate it and say, why do we have to be victims of this? | ||
| We can stop it. | ||
| We can shut it down, right? | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| I just don't think anybody would ever do it. | ||
| Because I think everybody is profiting. | ||
| I mean, there's so many countries that are profiting off it. | ||
| So many businesses that are profiting off it. | ||
| So many people like you and me that use it. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| The conveniences of having a nice cell phone. | ||
| I mean, as comedians now, a lot of our lives and careers are at the mercy of algorithms. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| The algorithm now is, the gatekeepers are done, they're done, it's the algorithm. | ||
| They're deciding who sees your stuff and who can see it and who becomes a fan and who doesn't. | ||
| So that's AI already running our careers and lives. | ||
| Well that's programmed, I mean what that is, is like computer learning and their algorithm is essentially just set up to figure out how to make the most money possible. | ||
| It turns out, keep us arguing with each other. | ||
| Make the most money possible. | ||
| It's really kind of fucked up. | ||
| Imagine if it got extra money for us beating the fuck out of each other. | ||
| What if someone made a Twitter or a Tinder for just people to meet and beat the fuck out of each other legally? | ||
| That'll happen. | ||
| Why not right now? | ||
| Maybe I just invented it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| How about you have a Tinder where people can just meet up somewhere and just beat each other's asses. | ||
| And it turns out that's more profitable because more people want to watch you beat the fuck out of each other than even turning you on to the new abortion article on Facebook. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or something about climate change. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you really, really, really engage and people are beating the fuck out of each other. | ||
| What is it that makes, when people are fighting, why is it that these guys are making more money? | ||
| Is it because we're just on more? | ||
| We're online more because we're fighting. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So I'm going to get the Starbucks gift card because I'm fighting with my aunt who thinks she's QAnon or whatever. | ||
| Also because they know what you've been Googling. | ||
| Say maybe you've been Googling a Rolex. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A specific role. | ||
| You really got my eye on it. | ||
|
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|
Right. | |
| And then it starts showing you those ads in your feed. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| Like if you Google something? | ||
| I will Google something and I'll Google a hotel because I'm like, I wonder how much it costs for that hotel. | ||
| I'm going to this town. | ||
| And then they will give me on my Facebook news feed ads for the hotel. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So as long as you're on... | ||
| Negativity will just keep you on those sites. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| Most of my recommendations are all muscle cars and martial arts stuff and hunting stuff. | ||
| Those are the things that I watch. | ||
| So that's most of the recommendations that I get. | ||
| But Ari did a trick. | ||
| The puppies. | ||
| Yeah, the puppies thing. | ||
| And it really worked. | ||
| But if you're a person that's just mad all the time, is looking for fucking... | ||
| Conspiracies, looking to get pissed off at the world. | ||
| And my Facebook is all negative. | ||
| Facebook doesn't have anything positive now. | ||
| Every status is like, I just had a knee operation. | ||
| There's dead dogs everywhere. | ||
| It's littered with dead pets. | ||
| Everybody's like, you know, can you help? | ||
| Here's a GoFundMe. | ||
| My neighbor's house burned down. | ||
| Everything is just human tragedy and finding. | ||
| There's money in that, right? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Nobody on Facebook's like, by the way, I had a great day and I just love my family. | ||
| Everybody's like, I need help right now or I'm going to die. | ||
| Facebook, it turned, it was college kids trying to have a bit about it where it's like, these were college kids just trying to fuck. | ||
| And now it is the complete opposite where it's just elderly people screaming at each other. | ||
| Well, it's become more of an old person's thing, too, right? | ||
| It's a boomer thing, and my aunt loves it. | ||
| She's on Facebook all the time talking about... | ||
| She thinks she's talking to Trump on Facebook. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Directly. | ||
| Well, she has a few glasses of wine and Percocet, and she goes in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| And you know somebody's good when they get on Facebook and they go, I just got out of Facebook jail. | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| Oh, when they get banned for a little bit? | ||
| Yeah, when they come back, that's when you know you got a live one. | ||
| They go, I just got out of Facebook jail, so they go, I'm going to take it slow, and then they start, within a few statuses, they start getting back into like, hey, here's Nancy Pelosi's address, and Michelle Obama's a man, or whatever. | ||
| That's a big one! | ||
| That's a big one now! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huge! | |
| That's a big deal! | ||
| I don't know if you know this, this is a giant conspiracy theory. | ||
| That Michelle Obama's a man. | ||
| Eddie Bravo was on this, he was an early adopter. | ||
| I had somebody who's kind of intelligent that I respect tried to tell me, he was like, it's true. | ||
| Oh, dude, there's a lot of people that believe this. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| It's kind of wild, though. | ||
| They think either she's a hermaphrodite or she's a transvestite or transsexual. | ||
| Is it just based on the way that her pants, like, bunch up? | ||
| No, it's nonsense. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| Yeah, the image is based on her pants bunching up, 100%. | ||
| But somebody, like, pretended... | ||
| I mean, listen, he wasn't wrong about Epstein. | ||
| Hey... | ||
| He's right about a lot of shit. | ||
| He's right about a lot of stuff. | ||
| I don't think that's true. | ||
| Maybe that was back when Alex was drinking. | ||
| He's having fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
August 2017. That was his late summer episode. | |
| He was getting torched then. | ||
| Alex told me he is 90 days clean. | ||
| 90 days. | ||
| I want to go on Infowars in December. | ||
| My goal, I really want to go on Infowars in December and wear Santa hats with him and sing like Happy Holidays. | ||
| Don't fucking do it. | ||
| I really want to do that. | ||
| Just schedule something at Cap City. | ||
| Yeah, I would love to do it and I want to go on there, but during the holidays we could have Santa hats on and it would be nice and festive. | ||
| I did a show last time I was there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Cap City. | ||
| Cap City's like one of the greatest clubs of all time. | ||
| Well, Austin's a great town for comedy. | ||
| It's a great town. | ||
| They like to laugh at themselves. | ||
| Well, they're very unusual. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| In that they're Texas, but they're also like a little San Francisco. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, it's like San Francisco fucked Texas. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| No, Texas would fuck San Francisco. | ||
| Texas is fucking San Francisco. | ||
| Texas is doing the fucking... | ||
| But San Francisco would only come if there's weird shit involved. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like you gotta... | ||
| They'd have to bleed or something. | ||
| You gotta hold them down. | ||
| Austin's fun because they laugh at themselves. | ||
| It's that weird collision of... | ||
| We are certainly Texas. | ||
| You're in... | ||
| It's the capital of Texas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you have a lot of progressive people. | ||
| So that fusion... | ||
| I think anytime you have a... | ||
| Like Boston's a great comedy town or D.C. It's because there's a natural tension that you can kind of just touch on those tension points as a comedian. | ||
| Because Boston is like... | ||
| A lot of working class people, a lot of Ivy League people, there's a lot of race issues, DC is the whole political divide. | ||
| So I think if you touch on those tension points, and Austin certainly has them. | ||
| Yeah, it's got everything. | ||
| It's a weird mixture of cowboys and hippies and really Barbecue restaurants where you've got to wait nine hours to get in. | ||
| Psychedelic culture. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of artists. | ||
| It's a very interesting look. | ||
| I'll point at a restaurant and I'll be like, is that a homeless shelter? | ||
| They'll be like, no, it's the highest rated restaurant in the state. | ||
| It's an odd place. | ||
| Things that don't hang themselves. | ||
| Senator Kennedy drops Epstein joke demands answers at hearing. | ||
| There's a hearing today and Senator Kennedy said... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this one of the Kennedys, I guess, right? | |
| That's okay. | ||
| We don't need to hear it. | ||
| I like that they're having fun with it. | ||
| I don't know who he is. | ||
| He's trolling. | ||
| He's trolling. | ||
| He's getting his name out there. | ||
| I like that they're having fun with the idea that a cabal of pedophiles run the government. | ||
| They're just having fun. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Freak me out. | ||
| I mean, listen, maybe that's not the case. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of it and everything will be okay. | ||
| That's probably the case, unfortunately. | ||
| I'm sure everything will be okay. | ||
| It's just what a sick fucking reality. | ||
| It's a sick reality. | ||
| Whatever we do know of it, for sure, is a problem. | ||
| Is a real problem. | ||
| It's a real big problem. | ||
| And I think that there's a lot of people that are just... | ||
| Like I said, when we talked last time, I said, it's not in your daily life. | ||
| You don't think about this shit. | ||
| You don't think about those crazy sites on the dark web that are getting 300,000 or 400,000 hits. | ||
| Where it's like, who the fuck are those people? | ||
| Who are those people signing onto the dark web to watch all this fucked up shit? | ||
| Somebody out there. | ||
| Somebody in a cubicle right now is sitting next to somebody who's a monster. | ||
| And you would never know it. | ||
| Because you're like, hey, how are you? | ||
| And hey, is the coffee machine working? | ||
| And they go home and God only knows. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it's like there's just a lot. | ||
| You know, these human trafficking sweeps, when they sweep these people up, there's like a lot of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really wild. | ||
| Do you know that I read somewhere that there's more slavery today, right now, than was in 1865 when they made slavery illegal? | ||
| That is interesting. | ||
| So when slavery was legal in the United States in 1864, there's more slavery today. | ||
| In places like Libya? | ||
| All over the world. | ||
| In Africa and stuff? | ||
| Just the sheer numbers of the world. | ||
| Do they count people that are working at Foxconn? | ||
| You Googling that? | ||
| Do you think they count people that work? | ||
| He looks very skeptical. | ||
| I've read that more than once. | ||
| I'm pretty close to being... | ||
| Jamie checked out if Michelle Obama was a man. | ||
| He's like, these guys run a road, I'm not going down. | ||
| Eddie sent me one of them boomerangs. | ||
| 40 million, supposedly. | ||
| What slavery are they including? | ||
| Sex trafficking, any human trafficking victims. | ||
| Are they including people that work for Apple and those factories? | ||
| Foxconn? | ||
| Those are crazy, right? | ||
| That seems odd. | ||
| It seems odd that we go, well, that's how they do it there. | ||
| What? | ||
| Incidents of modern-day slavery are only likely to increase as a result of some of the biggest challenges facing the world today. | ||
| So they're saying there's an estimated 40 million people are enslaved around the world, and a quarter of them are children. | ||
| Now, let's Google... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Let's Google how many slaves were there in 1864. In America, we're arguing about whether the chicken sandwich shop we like supports our views. | ||
| Yes, it's very important. | ||
| That's where we're at. | ||
| That's where we get behind butt-fucking. | ||
| Right, or not. | ||
| You mean like in America or the world? | ||
| Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| Or just in America. | ||
| Well, if they have the world. | ||
| I thought it was very fun watching fat people threaten Chick-fil-A. Well, the Chick-fil-A thing is strange. | ||
| Are they affecting policy? | ||
| If they're affecting policy, I understand why people would be concerned. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| Listen, they're a corporation. | ||
| They probably looked at themselves and said, we want to expand into more liberal cities and shit. | ||
| Okay, here it goes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It was only 31 million people back in 1860. That's total. | ||
| That's the whole population. | ||
| That's everybody. | ||
| Three million. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, stop. | ||
| We had less people. | ||
| Just stop and look about that. | ||
| In 1860, the census counted 31 million people in the United States, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
3,900 of them were slaves. | |
| 3,953,760 of them were slaves. | ||
| And most of them were Irish. | ||
| So it's one-tenth. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One-tenth of them were fucking slaves. | ||
| More. | ||
| It's more than one-tenth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| One-tenth of the people. | ||
| It was bad. | ||
| One out of ten people was a slave. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, it was not a good... | ||
| That was not a good period. | ||
| Dude, that's insane. | ||
| Yeah, that wasn't our best time. | ||
| Just stop it. | ||
| That's hard to believe. | ||
| Well, that's why people don't understand, I think, when they talk about racism being over. | ||
| It's like, this was a massive thing, and it didn't stop at slavery. | ||
| It was like another hundred years of people not being denied opportunities. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Not just that. | ||
| People being murdered. | ||
| Murdered, lynched. | ||
| Not only that, being pulled over by cops. | ||
| Yeah, disappeared. | ||
| Bullshit trumped up tribes and they just sent them to jail and make them work for nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| They basically reinstated slaves as a lot of these jails. | ||
| Yeah, they have a lot of prison labor. | ||
| What Tulsi called Kamala Harris out. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Kamala Harris is like one of these people. | ||
| She went hard at her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's going on with, do you think Tulsi is, I mean, she's not polling well. | ||
| I don't know about any of that stuff, dude. | ||
| Yeah, she's an intro. | ||
| I'm the wrong guy. | ||
| If I'm talking about it, you know what it's like? | ||
| It's like a guy who doesn't know jack shit talking to me about the UFC. Right. | ||
| That's how I sound. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That happens. | |
| All the time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I have to go, that's not really how it works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Let me explain. | ||
| This is the situation. | ||
| I think she's, I mean, I like her. | ||
| I like that she went back at Hillary. | ||
| That was a, do you think Hillary's getting back in? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Not with all this Epstein thing. | ||
| She's probably going to kill a few more people. | ||
| She's probably busy. | ||
| Great conspiracy theory. | ||
| Biden wins. | ||
| He has Hillary as his VP. He gets impeached because of the Ukraine stuff, and then Hillary becomes the president. | ||
| How Tulsi Gabbard's feud with Clinton helped extend her time in the spotlight. | ||
| They're always going negative at her. | ||
| Well, because she doesn't take any of their bullshit. | ||
| She gets all her money from the public. | ||
| It's like Sanders, they don't fuck with Sanders either. | ||
| Mainstream outlets don't really fuck with Sanders. | ||
| No, they're not going to. | ||
| And they're not going to fuck with her either. | ||
| And the two of them together would almost be unstoppable. | ||
| They're trying to... | ||
| There's a coronation with Elizabeth Warren. | ||
| Those two together? | ||
| Tulsi and Sanders would be crazy. | ||
| I mean, I know she wants to be president totally, and I would vote for her, I guess. | ||
| I say I guess. | ||
| Because, look, I would vote for her. | ||
| I would vote for Bernie too, though. | ||
| Bernie has a lot of interesting things. | ||
| I'm curious. | ||
| I'm curious as to how this is all going to play out. | ||
| I really am. | ||
| I'm really curious. | ||
| The whole thing is like, whew, where does this go? | ||
| It's a crazy election. | ||
| And it's crazy that when you look at the spate of Democratic candidates, you're like, there's nobody... | ||
| Under 70? | ||
| I wish Bernie didn't have a heart attack. | ||
| I know, me too. | ||
| But I think, you know, listen, people have heart attacks. | ||
| Did you hear that there were, it turns out probably false, but there were rumors over the last couple days that Trump might have had a heart attack or had some sort of heart problem because he was in, like, some people were reporting that he was rushed to the hospital over the weekend and they hadn't seen him for a couple days. | ||
| He came out this morning and said he didn't have a heart attack. | ||
| It's like, he actually addressed it. | ||
| Wait, who came out and said it? | ||
| Trump did, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, when someone tells you they didn't have a heart attack, you're like, why did you tell me that? | ||
| I just love that we're being, yeah, we're being run by people that are just getting ready to leave the planet. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's really crazy. | ||
| And they're all scrambling in this power game that they're playing. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can you imagine being that old and being a billionaire? | ||
| I mean, he's at least $1 billion. | ||
| He's got like $3 billion. | ||
| And still wanting the job, being the president. | ||
| Well, because I think money is anticlimactic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I had a very routine physical. | ||
| Trump existed. | ||
| Speculation intensifies. | ||
| I just listen. | ||
| If you go into bed at night and you think this guy cares about you or you think any of them care about you, I just don't. | ||
| I can't get on board with that. | ||
| Well, that guy is like... | ||
| Not like a soldier is, but almost. | ||
| And you have to really think about that. | ||
| You have to really think about the constant conflict that you're engaging in if you're the president of the United States. | ||
| Whether you like that president or not, Obama was in constant conflict. | ||
| This guy's in constant conflict. | ||
| These guys are freaking out. | ||
| They have that many people upset at you, that many people plotting against you, that many people that want to impeach you, that many people that don't want your policies, that many people that want to hold you by everything you've ever done ever in your whole life and bring it up every time you hold a press conference. | ||
| Every day is a fucking war! | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| It's a war! | ||
| You can't be worried about... | ||
| You could be worried about people in a very general sense, but I don't think it's possible... | ||
| Like, when I got shit because I said... | ||
| When Obama was crying because of a school shooting, I was like, listen, presidents kind of choose when to cry. | ||
| People got mad at me about that. | ||
| I'm saying that's not that he doesn't have emotion, but this is also a guy that's ordered the deaths of people daily. | ||
| You know what being president's like? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like every four years, they hire a new man or woman someday, maybe, to kill the unkillable dragon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Right. | ||
| And every year the person tells you, I got it. | ||
| I got it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got it. | |
| I'm slaying it. | ||
| I'm gonna fucking nail it. | ||
| I got a plan. | ||
| We're gonna put it together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If you make me the dragon slayer, we're fucking peace here in Mudville. | ||
| Yeah, and then they come out of the cave and they're like, I've made a deal with the dragon. | ||
| No, they go and try to kill him. | ||
| I kill the dragon and they get fucked up. | ||
| Nobody ever kills the dragon. | ||
| No, it's not meant to be killed. | ||
| The system's not designed to be... | ||
| But you can't say that people get mad because they're like, oh, you're cynical, you're this. | ||
| But with this system that we're in right now, it's not really designed for a wholesale reimagining. | ||
| Well, it's also not designed for 320 million people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I never thought that was going to happen. | ||
| I mean, these fucking people that came over here, man, they were riding around on horses. | ||
| Do you ever read the Pentagon estimates for the future of mega cities? | ||
| What's going to happen to places like LA and New York where you're just going to have endless strife and unrest and problems with... | ||
| I mean, it's kind of terrifying when you read that stuff. | ||
| Well, with the Andrew Yang stuff, with his theories about automation, and on top of that, you put them all together. | ||
| It's a problem. | ||
| It doesn't matter what Ocasio-Cortez tweets or Trump tweets. | ||
| We're fucked. | ||
| Did you see that one with Acacio Cortez and this giant transsexual gal in this beautiful outfit? | ||
| I don't know how tall AOC is. | ||
| She looks like she's about 5'7 to me. | ||
| This lady next to her is a gigantor. | ||
| And she's painted orange with white face paint and she's clapping. | ||
| And what was this about? | ||
| What was this for? | ||
| Apparently AOC went to a show and she was just giving the gal props. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And clapping and she was like super animated. | ||
| You don't really see a congresswoman do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And this trans woman was beyond thrilled. | ||
| I'm assuming it was a... | ||
| Did you see the one where they're at the rally and they start talking about eating the babies? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Where AOC, somebody stands up. | ||
| I mean, that's one of the funniest things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you think that is? | |
| Is that someone who's doing an onion thing? | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think that's somebody who's just doing a character. | ||
| Or someone who's legitimately mentally ill. | ||
| Somebody who's legitimately mentally ill. | ||
| But it was too funny. | ||
| And too good, where I'm like, no, this is somebody who's really, because they got into it. | ||
| You could see, I love that. | ||
| It's like the scene from Borat, where he's doing the thing at the rodeo, and you could see their faces starting to change, because they're like, oh wait, something's off. | ||
| You could see Acacia Cortez's face start to change as a woman started talking about eating infants. | ||
| And you could see Acacia Cortez. | ||
| Yeah, I remember this. | ||
| So good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Getting with the fossil fuel is not going to solve the problem fast enough. | |
| A Swedish professor saying we can eat dead people, but that's not fast enough. | ||
| So I think your next campaign slogan has to be this. | ||
| We've got to start eating babies. | ||
| We don't have enough time. | ||
| There's too much CO2! All of you! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| You know, now that I'm watching her, I'm like, maybe it is a real person. | ||
| I think it's a real person. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| There's something too good about it. | ||
| If it's not a real person, she's going to be the star of one of the Melissa McCarthy movies. | ||
| Yeah, she's amazing. | ||
| We just heard her say that, and as I was Googling it, Snopes came up, and it says, did AOC supporters suggest that fact-check mixture of results? | ||
| I'm not going to go to the thing to read what they say, but why wouldn't they just say true? | ||
| Because that's what it said. | ||
| Well, because it might have been a joke. | ||
| I think Snopes leans pretty hard left in establishment. | ||
| They're very establishment. | ||
| They check things against mainstream organs of opinion. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, this is great. | ||
| It might be. | ||
| It might be. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| What's true? | ||
| Yeah, they have stunts of doing this, a conspiracy group. | ||
| She was an AOC supporter. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They say their internet troll was to troll Ocasio-Cortez. | ||
| And good job! | ||
| Great job! | ||
| She apparently was working at the behest of a fringe conspiracy group with a history of such stunts. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yeah, why not? | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Have fun. | ||
| Right, have fun. | ||
| Have fun. | ||
| And it seemed fake, right? | ||
| It seemed, I mean, it seemed real. | ||
| It seemed real. | ||
| But I mean, it seemed like there's no way someone really would want to eat babies. | ||
| It's an extreme position. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| It's an extreme position. | ||
| I just love... | ||
| Did you see the video with her and the trans lady? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was looking for that. | ||
| I saw it, but I was trying to find it again. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| This lady's like... | ||
| You think she would ever come on this show, Ocasio-Cortez? | ||
| Yeah, sure she would. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Interesting. | |
| I'd be nice to her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I like her. | ||
| Yeah, sweet. | ||
| She's 28, man. | ||
| She's daft, though. | ||
| She said, we're going to get rid of planes. | ||
| Is that what she said? | ||
| Yeah, come on. | ||
| She's a silly girl. | ||
| She's a bartender two years ago, pouring Soko Lime shots. | ||
| You need a fucking far left to balance off the far right. | ||
| Yeah, you need extremes. | ||
| Everybody just needs to be a little more reasonable. | ||
| You need just crazy people. | ||
| Reasonable and see each other's point of view. | ||
| It's great that we have a game show host versus a bartender. | ||
| That's great! | ||
| Which one's the game show host again? | ||
| Trump. | ||
| And then she's a bartender. | ||
| And this is how it ends. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| She could be president. | ||
| I will make Logan Paul president. | ||
| He's a smart guy. | ||
| He will run. | ||
| YouTubers are going to have millions of dollars, millions of fans, and no skills when they're all 40. I will make him the president of the United States. | ||
| He will not be that bad at it. | ||
| He's disciplined. | ||
| He's got a heart. | ||
| I will be his Steve Bannon. | ||
| I'm going to get involved in that. | ||
| Yeah, he's already had two fights. | ||
| Two boxing matches in front of the whole world. | ||
| I think the next group of political figures may come from the internet. | ||
| They may be YouTubers. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you watch that fight? | ||
| I watched a little bit of it. | ||
| What'd you think? | ||
| They're not bad. | ||
| They got wild. | ||
| They worked their asses off. | ||
| Yeah, they clearly did. | ||
| They were in real good shape to fight six rounds. | ||
| The thing that happened when he hit him when he was down, that two-point thing that he lost, is that legit? | ||
| You're not supposed to hit someone when they're down. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
| Can you do that or no? | ||
| Bad idea? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unbelievable. | |
| Genius. | ||
| From the revolutionary of our time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love you so much. | |
| Thank you for being here. | ||
| What's the hug? | ||
| Oh, adorable. | ||
| Somewhere Papua Cannon is sitting there being like, you see? | ||
| That threw me off so hard. | ||
| What were we just talking about before that? | ||
| The KSI Logan Paul fight. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| So they got wild. | ||
| It's hard to keep your shit together when you're fighting in front of all those people. | ||
| But if one of them had been able to keep their shit together and not go wild and just box... | ||
| Like, I don't know which one boxes better. | ||
| It seems like Logan Paul was training with Shannon the Cannon Briggs, who's legit as fuck. | ||
| I mean, he's like, you know, he was one of the top heavyweights in the world, former world champion. | ||
| I mean, he knows how to teach boxing. | ||
| He knows how to fucking box, as good as it gets. | ||
| So he was working with Logan Paul. | ||
| And he said some crazy shit, like, Logan Paul could be heavyweight champion in the world. | ||
| He's white, he got money. | ||
| I'm saying he could be the president. | ||
| I mean, I don't know about that. | ||
| But I do know he's a real athlete. | ||
| He's an athlete, yeah. | ||
| He dedicated himself to it. | ||
| I mean, I did a podcast at his house and he was training all day, ice bath, all the things, you know, whatever. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| You can tell. | ||
| And the same thing with KSI. They're both athletes. | ||
| They both know how to fight a little bit and they probably fuck up someone who's not as good as them. | ||
| But they both got wild. | ||
| And what that means is you start swinging for the fences. | ||
| And sometimes you land and sometimes you don't. | ||
| But if one of them could have stayed technical and just boxed and just fired off sharp jabs and cleaned right hands and moved a lot and kept your hands up and boxed, don't get emotional. | ||
| If they could just box and not get emotional, they'd start landing. | ||
| And if you start landing, you start hurting the guy. | ||
| You got to start hurting the guy with punches that... | ||
| Aren't your hardest shot. | ||
| You're not winding up with them. | ||
| You're not exposing yourself. | ||
| You're just fighting technically. | ||
| That's the difference between someone who knows how to box a little bit and starts slugging versus someone who's smart. | ||
| Someone who understands that when you're under duress. | ||
| He's been in a lot of fights. | ||
| to keep your calm and be able to see everything. | ||
| And the more you tighten up, the harder it is to see things. | ||
| And then you start swinging and then you're barely paying attention, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You might land and might knock the guy out still. | ||
| You still have power. | ||
| It's not an absolute thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But when you look at guys who are really good boxers, like Floyd Mayweather does not get into fucking slugfests. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| He just executes everything. | ||
| He's figuring you out. | ||
| He's finding the holes. | ||
| He's popping them in there. | ||
| He's not getting hit. | ||
| And then eventually he starts chopping people down and breaking them down. | ||
| And that's what he did with Conor. | ||
| I mean, it was a great money grab for Conor, but that didn't make any sense, right? | ||
| But these guys, what they are is they're both at a similar level. | ||
| The reason why it's so fun to watch is because they can hit a little bit. | ||
| They both are good athletes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And they're both kind of learning how to fight, and they're both super fucking famous online. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they get together, and then they're even bigger. | ||
| It was explosive. | ||
| They sold out the fucking statement. | ||
| What does that hold? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's going to be like 20,000 people or something. | ||
| It's a lot of people. | ||
| It's a lot of people. | ||
| It was one of the biggest internet events, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Because, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it was a good fucking fight. | |
| It's wild. | ||
| In terms of entertainment value, they went after it. | ||
| They didn't. | ||
| But I think if one of them... | ||
| Learned how to just box. | ||
| Just stay like a fucking samurai and just box. | ||
| And never let that emotion get a hold of you. | ||
| Hard to do in the Staples Center. | ||
| It's always hard to do. | ||
| But it's even more hard to do when you talk shit to each other. | ||
| Is there a similarity when you're playing arenas now? | ||
| Is that different when you're in an arena versus you being in a smaller venue? | ||
| Well, it's nothing like a fight. | ||
| Well, of course. | ||
| The thing about fights is like, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes. | ||
| It's happening! | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like, all the preparation, all your nightmares, you get knocked out, all the weird feelings, like you get hurt in training, you have to work around it, it still hurts when you get in there. | ||
| All that stuff that they're dealing with when they go in there is like, stand-up times a million. | ||
| Like, the thing about stand-up is if you do your prep work and you get your shit together, you could do it many, many nights in a row. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| They can't do that. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| They got one chance. | ||
| One chance. | ||
| One chance. | ||
| You know that one time you did a joke and it just came out like shit? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And you're like, fuck, I wish I could do that show again. | ||
| It rots you away. | ||
| It rots you away. | ||
| Well, sometimes people have moments like that athletically. | ||
| Like, you just fucked up. | ||
| Your chin was up high. | ||
| You came in swinging. | ||
| You got clipped. | ||
| Once you got clipped in the first round, you tried to box in the second and third, and then he takes you out in the fourth. | ||
| And you're like, fuck! | ||
| If I just played my fight right and played my game right, I could have outboxed him. | ||
| But instead, I did something stupid and I got clipped. | ||
| But then it's also, I guess, part of it is the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Part of it is the spectacle. | ||
| Well, I'm saying it's so much easier to do comedy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, of course. | |
| It's not even close. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I do want to fight Chelsea Handler. | ||
| That is a good fight. | ||
| That's a great fight. | ||
| Me and Chelsea is a good fight. | ||
| Do you think she'd be down with that? | ||
| What would you fight over, though? | ||
| I mean, her latest documentary, it's Hello Privilege, it's me Chelsea. | ||
| We'll fight over that. | ||
| Which was wild. | ||
| I mean, you know, it was a little wild. | ||
| Did you see it? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's her talking about white privilege in the back of her Bel Air mansion in the backyard. | ||
| It's a fun one. | ||
| And I just think she should go around and apologize for all the things. | ||
| Like, she should go to the Gaza Strip and do Hello Gaza, it's me Chelsea. | ||
| And Tuskegee Airmen, Hello Tuskegee, it's me Chelsea. | ||
| I don't think they're allowed to. | ||
| Yeah, well, right. | ||
| She's got to go to graves. | ||
| She should just apologize for everything America's ever done. | ||
| Go to Native Americans. | ||
| No, I mean, I kid around, but maybe these... | ||
| It's a joke. | ||
| Don't, you know... | ||
| This is a joke. | ||
| But maybe these celebrity fights are going to be bigger things. | ||
| Like, didn't Bieber challenge Tom Cruise? | ||
| I mean, Tom Cruise didn't accept. | ||
| Out of nowhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bieber just wants to fight. | ||
| I think Bieber's hilarious. | ||
| He likes to fight. | ||
| I think he's sober now, right? | ||
| Is he sober? | ||
| My friend saw him the other day in a luncheonette in Beverly Hills and sober wouldn't be the first word that would be used. | ||
| Maybe smoking that reefer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Again. | ||
| You can have fun. | ||
| He's in a war zone. | ||
| His life's a war zone. | ||
| It's wild. | ||
| Became famous when he was like six years old. | ||
| As a young, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's wild. | |
| And could you imagine the type of gals that put that punana in a fucking slingshot and sent it his way? | ||
| He's grown up. | ||
| He's grown up with that. | ||
| He's grown up with NDAs. | ||
| God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And bodyguards everywhere. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Everywhere you go, you're... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he wants to fight Tom Cruise. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's probably hoping Tom Cruise kills him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gross. | |
| Take me out of this. | ||
| Somebody was on a flight one day with Leonardo DiCaprio and the plane was going down and Leo wasn't nervous. | ||
| And my friend was losing their mind because they were nervous. | ||
| And Leo just kind of sat there cool. | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, because that's the only thing he hasn't done yet. | ||
| He's been in a plane crash. | ||
| He's done it all. | ||
| He's done it all. | ||
| He's ready to go. | ||
| He's ready to be a legend. | ||
| What experience do you need to have if you're Leo at this point? | ||
| Probably he was also absorbing the emotions of almost dying in a plane crash. | ||
| Just to use them. | ||
| That's a real sociopath. | ||
| That's a real sick person. | ||
| He's just recording it. | ||
| Yeah, actors are sick. | ||
| He's not sick. | ||
| He's involved in charities. | ||
| Oh, sure they are. | ||
| He's such a piece of shit. | ||
| I'm sure no one's laundering money. | ||
| No. | ||
| No one's laundering any money. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's real charities. | ||
| How many people had to do with that fire festival? | ||
| How many people? | ||
| A lot of people. | ||
| Ja Rule. | ||
| A bunch of people. | ||
| That's one of them things where you're like, wait, what? | ||
| What happened there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's one of those things where the original fire festival was like the Iraq War. | ||
| I couldn't even watch the documentary. | ||
| I watched both of them. | ||
| I was cringing so hard. | ||
| It's so great, though. | ||
| It's fun to see. | ||
| I was squirming in my seat. | ||
| I was trying to watch it on a plane. | ||
| It's fun to see people... | ||
| Who want to do something stupid or something ridiculous. | ||
| You know, people that are status-obsessed and everything, get what's coming to them. | ||
| What's this? | ||
| Ja Rule dismissed from $100 million Fyre Festival class action lawsuit. | ||
| He skated away. | ||
| How did he get dismissed? | ||
| He didn't know. | ||
| He skated away. | ||
| He probably didn't have anything to do with the business aspect of it. | ||
| He's a fucking rapper. | ||
| Right? | ||
| He probably got together with that dude. | ||
| That dude lied to him. | ||
| He thought the guy was telling the truth. | ||
| Next thing you know, he's involved in a lawsuit. | ||
| Think of the people at Day of Fire Festival. | ||
| That's my favorite part of the documentary. | ||
| When they know that it's never going to work. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's an interesting... | ||
| They know that it's all over. | ||
| And then the people are hitting the island that day. | ||
| Could you imagine also thinking your first promotion? | ||
| What does your first promotion mean? | ||
| You do a theater? | ||
| You're going to try to fill a small theater? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| My first one, I'm going to do an island. | ||
| A private island. | ||
| I'm going to have people fly in, and I'm going to feed them bologna sandwiches on white styrofoam. | ||
| People with Supreme shirts are going to come in and eat Katrina food. | ||
| Did you see Wild Wild Country? | ||
| No, what is that? | ||
| Is that the sex cult? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I've been told by multiple people to see that. | ||
| You need to watch that. | ||
| I've got to get into that one. | ||
| If you think that Fyre Festival is cringy, you're just going to be like, what is happening? | ||
| And is it a sex cult? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's like six episodes. | ||
| Is it like six? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four? | |
| Something like that? | ||
| Is it one of those where by the end you can't feel bad for the people? | ||
| No, you feel bad, man. | ||
| You still do? | ||
| I feel bad about cults because I've been a moron most of my life. | ||
| I've never got roped into a cult, but I've been lucky. | ||
| I've been lucky with nice parents. | ||
| I've been lucky. | ||
| I grew up in a pretty nice neighborhood. | ||
| You never look. | ||
| Every now and then I'll look at the Scientology building and go, huh. | ||
| Oh, I did when I moved here. | ||
| You know, sometimes I go, what's that? | ||
| When I moved here, I bought a Dianetics book on the TV app. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I didn't know what it meant. | ||
| You didn't know what it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You were curious. | |
| I found myself help. | ||
| I had Anthony Bourdain. | ||
| Not Bourdain. | ||
| Anthony Robbins. | ||
| I had all of his cassettes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| All that fucking get your shit together cassettes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| I got to get my shit together. | ||
| I was always trying to get my shit together. | ||
| So you just thought Dianetics. | ||
| And did you read it? | ||
| I didn't know what it was. | ||
| And were you like, this is... | ||
| I ordered the book. | ||
| I got the book in the mail. | ||
| And like most of those books back then, I would read them like four or five times and pick it up, read it for 10 minutes. | ||
| I'm like, what am I doing? | ||
| And I put it down. | ||
| Like maybe I went through a whole chapter. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Best case scenario. | ||
| Most of the time, I just sat. | ||
| I'm like, this isn't working for me. | ||
| I wasn't disciplined. | ||
| Like I was scatterbrained. | ||
| And so I was always looking for something back then when I was in my 20s. | ||
| I was looking for something to give me discipline. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people in LA too. | ||
| A lot of people come to LA looking for something to fill a void. | ||
| Cults thrive here. | ||
| Now, if you grew up, the thing is, if you grew up in an orthodox religion, in a religion that's very rigid, and you trust in them, even if it doesn't make any sense, like, I know a lady who did that, where she grew up in the Mormons, and then she got out of the Mormons, and once she got out, it was really hard for her to tell if people were full of shit. | ||
| She felt like it was too easy to dupe her. | ||
| She would get taken in by cult people, taken in by spiritual people, taken in by kooks. | ||
| She just put that aura out there. | ||
| Well, she just was not aware of bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because she believed such crazy bullshit for so long. | ||
| If you're willing to believe that Joseph Smith found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus, and only he could read it because he has a magic seer stone, and then when the people came to read him, the angels took him away because God didn't believe you trusted him. | ||
| Nuts! | ||
| That the Native Americans were a lost tribe of Israel. | ||
| It's wacky. | ||
| If you're going to do that, why not? | ||
| You'll believe anything. | ||
| Why not believe anything? | ||
| So if I grew up like that, I would be like that. | ||
| That's the insidious part about cults. | ||
| Like I got real lucky. | ||
| My parents, you know, my stepdad's a hippie. | ||
| My parents were kind of hippies when I was a kid. | ||
| We got a chance to see all different parts of the country, San Francisco, Florida, Boston. | ||
| But I never got roped into any religion or any cult. | ||
| But if I was there and they took me in when I was six or seven, you're telling me I wouldn't have figured it out or I wouldn't have got stuck? | ||
| I would have got stuck. | ||
| Most of us would have got stuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most of us, if we were young and impressionable. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| I was a part of our community. | ||
| We'd get roped into it. | ||
| I know people that came out of, you know, really religious upbringings. | ||
| And it does. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It does something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, some of those people. | ||
| A lot of those people happen to be very trusting when they get out of those. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| Trusting? | ||
| Yeah, you'd think they'd be more skeptical, but they're actually very trusting when they get out of those things. | ||
| It's a weird thing, man, when you think about getting roped into a cult when you're a young person. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know quite a few people that have had those kind of experience when they're younger, too. | ||
| You ever talk to Metzger? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, Kurt was a Jehovah's Witness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His story's crazy. | |
| It's a wild story. | ||
| It's all these wacky, different ideologies. | ||
| There's so many of them, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I love that his mom was in sales. | ||
| That's what me and him talk about, because I was a sales guy, and that's another cult. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, man. | |
| Yeah, so beginning in that, so me and him always talk about that, like that. | ||
| Really good salespeople must be really good at picking up chicks, right? | ||
| They're really good at everything. | ||
| I mean, they're really good at arranging the world in a way that allows them to... | ||
| And I think a lot of good salespeople, the ones that I've observed, they don't overthink. | ||
| They don't... | ||
| There's a simplicity to what a good sale is. | ||
| I'm sure that you can write about it and make it more complex. | ||
| But at the end of the day... | ||
| It's like our lizard brains. | ||
| There's something that happens on a subterranean level where you walk in with a certain amount of confidence. | ||
| All of those hack lines in sales work. | ||
| Hack comedy sometimes work. | ||
| Hack sales lines work. | ||
| When it's like, alright, so if I can do this and this, does that make sense? | ||
| That makes sense to you? | ||
| And you say, like, when I was first telemarketing and selling mortgages and stuff, I would say, I can't say this on the phone. | ||
| People are going to laugh at me. | ||
| If I say something patently ridiculous, like, listen, if I don't help you, I don't eat. | ||
| So let's just, you know, people are going to laugh at me. | ||
| They're going to be like, this guy's ridiculous. | ||
| But people are like, okay. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, I'm like, really? | ||
| I was also selling them in Long Island. | ||
| But the point is that those things work. | ||
| Those somewhat formulaic things work. | ||
| They work. | ||
| You're selling little psychological traps. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, sales is a business of imitation. | ||
| And that's a lot of comedy as well, right? | ||
| A lot of it, yeah. | ||
| I think until you get really good at it and then you either innovate or you really find what you're doing. | ||
| But even with sales, it's like a personality-driven thing. | ||
| You're trying to get this person to like you enough and also enjoy the product enough so you're trying to hype them up about it. | ||
| You've got to show a certain amount of enthusiasm yourself so it's contagious. | ||
| Someone who's a good salesman will talk to you about certain objects with such enthusiasm that you'll get more hyped up about the opposite. | ||
| I was always so bad that I wouldn't shut up. | ||
| Because I wouldn't shut up. | ||
| And a bad salesman just keeps going. | ||
| It's hard to know when a good salesman can turn it on and not. | ||
| You might be a bullshit customer. | ||
| They don't want to give you the A game. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, I would just talk. | ||
| I would get to the, you know, there's a moment in every sale where you're supposed to leave it all on the table and not speak. | ||
| And then whoever speaks first kind of loses. | ||
| That's like a tried and true sales method. | ||
| So I'm like, Joe, if I could do this, you know, Wednesday, whatever, at this price, does that work? | ||
| And then we just silent. | ||
| And then neither one of us is supposed to talk. | ||
| You're supposed to talk first. | ||
| And then you're supposed to submit and, you know, we're supposed to do the deal. | ||
| But I would like just go right back and I'd be like, there's more we can do. | ||
| And then the guy would be like, oh, this guy's a clown. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it was something I was not meant to do. | ||
| Yeah, you can't. | ||
| I think those guys that are really good at that, you're giving an indication that you should do it. | ||
| But I was around a lot of bad salesmen, and it's just like bad comments. | ||
| It's very sad. | ||
| It's a weird thing, right? | ||
| Because you're basically a charisma person. | ||
| You shouldn't have to have a salesperson. | ||
| You should be like, this is the price on that. | ||
| You want it? | ||
| Okay, if you want it, go talk to that guy and you can get it. | ||
| But no, a guy's like, sir, can I help you? | ||
| Welcome to Mercedes. | ||
| You know what I said? | ||
| I see you in this car. | ||
| I see you in this car, Tim Dillon. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The convertible? | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| One button. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| Dude, you're driving. | ||
| The sky's overhead. | ||
| You're the king of the world. | ||
| I guarantee you, the way you'll feel hyped up in this car, it's going to make you kick ass in the office. | ||
| Yeah, but see, I'd be so bad, they'd walk on the lot, I'd be like, do you like cars? | ||
| Like, that's how fucked I was. | ||
| I tried to sell copiers, mortgages, and sales guys are not guys that went to school. | ||
| These are guys that are going to work around the system and become millionaires. | ||
| That's the way that we believe. | ||
| So we don't know anything about structure or organization, or we're just throwing it at the wall, like a lot of comics. | ||
| Like a lot of comics. | ||
| A lot of comics. | ||
| Just throw it at the wall. | ||
| And I'm one of those people, I'm guilty of that sometimes, too. | ||
| Where I'm like, I threw it at the wall. | ||
| Well, especially if you don't have a lot of sets. | ||
| Like, what if you're only doing three sets a week? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But when you tell us, like, the work ethic, when you're, like, in the car and you listen back and you do two hours and you listen back to the thing, it's like, we're all just like, okay, well... | ||
| Yeah, this, like, especially as you get older, like me, and you run out of... | ||
| Like, I have to make these fucking premises work, and I'm doing a new special, like, every couple of years? | ||
| Like, you can't fuck around that. | ||
| It's a heavy workload. | ||
| You gotta get that shit out there, and you gotta tighten up those bits with the most, like, focus that you can give them during the time you're making them. | ||
| And you go on stage at this store, and you turn the lights off, there's no crowd work, there's no... | ||
| You just... | ||
| It's like you're doing a special every night. | ||
| I'm just trying to tighten up these bits and adding to them and taking away from them and fucking with them. | ||
| It's the only way. | ||
| I've done it other ways. | ||
| I've done it half-assed before where I only did a few sets a week and I recorded a special and it wasn't that good. | ||
| And I've done it where I really hustled and it's always better. | ||
| And I think... | ||
| I think it's like a thing where you just gotta kind of stay on it and then know. | ||
| Like, okay, I think I got something here. | ||
| You gotta know. | ||
| What do you look at? | ||
| Do you look at crowd work? | ||
| Because every now and then if I do a bit and it doesn't really work, sometimes I'll try to crowd work the audience back to being on my side and then try the next bit. | ||
| Is that cheating? | ||
| No, it's never cheating. | ||
| It's never cheating. | ||
| I mean, there's nothing wrong with crowd work. | ||
| Crowd work is great. | ||
| Some great comics are great at crowd work. | ||
| It's just, I feel like every comic owes it to themselves to have material too. | ||
| Of course, of course. | ||
| There's some guys that never developed material. | ||
| Yeah, that's wild. | ||
| They only had a crowd work act. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| But it's, look, they can still work, but that seems like so crazy. | ||
| No, you want to say what you're about and tell your jokes. | ||
| It's a different thing, too. | ||
| It's like it's a fun thing to work the crowd, but you never get a well-crafted, well-honed bit that you're real proud of. | ||
| And nothing works again. | ||
| Like a crowd work bit, there's no legs. | ||
| Sometimes I'll try the next night to reference something that happened that I thought was funny, and if it's just not in the moment, it doesn't work. | ||
| It doesn't work. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's a crazy gig, bro. | ||
| We got the craziest gig ever. | ||
| It's crazy, except Logan Paul and KSI, which is a crazy gig, too. | ||
| It's a crazier gig. | ||
| But our gig's weird because no one can teach you how to do it. | ||
| Someone can teach you how to box. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| Your guy can teach you to keep your hands up, punch comes this way, you gotta learn how to catch things and move, you gotta learn how to counter. | ||
| Nobody can teach you. | ||
| No, you have to figure it out on your own. | ||
| You can vary your approach so much in boxing, only so much, but in comedy, it's Do you think people getting into stand-up now because of the way that things are, everything's social media driven, do you think that we're in the last era of that traditional type of stand-up? | ||
| No. | ||
| Nah, it's like martial arts. | ||
| People are going to get better at it. | ||
| They're going to want to do it. | ||
| People still want to do it. | ||
| Yeah, it's like there's people still doing jujitsu. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| They're always going to do it. | ||
| It's not ever easy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's never easy to do jujitsu. | ||
| Dudes are trying to kill you. | ||
| They're fucking grabbing your arm. | ||
| You're always sore. | ||
| But people are going to keep doing it. | ||
| Most people are not going to do it. | ||
| It's the same thing with stand-up. | ||
| Although way more people are doing jujitsu than doing stand-up. | ||
| Most people can do it because you don't have to have a certain personality like you do in stand-up. | ||
| But if you could just put the time in, if you're a reasonably funny person and you start doing it and you put the time in and you're a driven person and you realize you can keep getting better if you keep paying attention to it, you're going to get addicted. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| You do get addicted. | ||
| What's more fun than killing? | ||
| Nothing's more fun than killing. | ||
| Especially when you're two years in and you just start to figure it out. | ||
| Just getting paid. | ||
| Just starting to get paid. | ||
| You're doing gigs wherever you can. | ||
| You're driving around with your friends. | ||
| There's nothing funner. | ||
| I look back at those days, I'm so lucky that I'm still real good friends with Greg Fitzsimmons. | ||
| I almost forgot his name. | ||
| Greg Fitzsimmons. | ||
| I almost fucked up his name. | ||
| We started out within a week of each other. | ||
| So we knew each other forever. | ||
| In Boston. | ||
| We did a shitload of terrible gigs together. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| I forget about some of them sometimes and he tells me about them and I'll tell him about one that he forgot. | ||
| Oh, wow, yeah. | ||
| You look back. | ||
| Horrible, bro. | ||
| And this is all 1988, 1989. Wow. | ||
| 1990. So you've seen the whole, you know, explosions and, you know, it's like booms and busts and the whole thing. | ||
| Dude, I got so lucky. | ||
| It's like I was on a video game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the video game led me to, like, challenges in a very unusual spot. | ||
| Like, I got so lucky that I walked into Boston... | ||
| right at the cresting of the wave of the comedy boom. | ||
| I got here right before it hit the peak, and then it hit the peak while I was there and then dropped off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Dropped off, and then I left. | ||
| I left it right at the right time. | ||
| Not that it's not a great time to be at right now, but back then there was three comedy clubs on one block. | ||
| There was Nick's Comedy Stop, and there was a Comedy Connection on the same street, and then above it was the Comedy... | ||
| The Comedy Club at the Charles Playhouse? | ||
| Yeah, that's what it was. | ||
| And still some of the funniest people in the world are from that area in Boston. | ||
| And then over here, right across the street, was a place called Duck Soup. | ||
| So there were four of them within walking distance, three of them on one block. | ||
| And then there was a Dick Daugherty's Comedy Vault that was an old bank vault that was like a block away from that. | ||
| Yeah, so you could just bounce around and... | ||
| Dude, it was fucking crazy. | ||
| And these guys were murderers. | ||
| What made you want to do it initially? | ||
| What was the thing that made you want to do it? | ||
| Well, I definitely didn't know if I could do it until I went to an open mic night. | ||
| But I had friends that had talked me into doing it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Guys that I worked out with. | ||
| I thought it was funny. | ||
| But I was saying, bunch of fuckers. | ||
| They thought you were maybe going to go bomb or no? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, I was a young kid. | ||
| I was 20 at this time, 21 when I first started doing stand-up, but 20 when I was thinking about it. | ||
| And I just wanted a lot of attention. | ||
| And so I would say funny things when I knew that everybody was nervous. | ||
| And so right before sparring, that was a big one, everybody would be real nervous, because we were sparring. | ||
| It was hardcore, man. | ||
| A bunch of dudes, like as good as me or better, are kicking each other. | ||
| It's like, woo! | ||
| It's dangerous. | ||
| We saw guys getting knocked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was nice. | |
| It's scary. | ||
| It scared the shit out of you, like sparring. | ||
| Sparring is scary. | ||
| And I would always make fun of things. | ||
| When we'd go to tournaments, I'd make fun of people. | ||
| I'd make fun of myself. | ||
| I'd make fun of each other. | ||
| I'd do impressions of my friends having sex. | ||
| This is what I think you sound like. | ||
| Everybody would be laughing. | ||
| But I would just try to make them laugh, right? | ||
| But I didn't think, oh, I'm going to be a comedian. | ||
| My friend Steve Graham, who I'm still good friends with to this day, was the one who told me, you should be a fucking comedian. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so what's the first open mic night that you walk into? | ||
| August 27, 1988, Stitches Comedy Club. | ||
| It's this little comedy club. | ||
| Still there? | ||
| No, it's not there anymore. | ||
| It was next to another place that was larger. | ||
| I can't remember the name of the other place, but the other place that was next to it that was really pretty big, next to Stitches, I Fuck, I wish I could remember. | ||
| It was like a rock club, and they occasionally have big acts there. | ||
| And I went to see Jerry Seinfeld there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| With this chick I was dating when I was like 19. It's 88. Yeah, this was even before that. | ||
| I went to see Jerry Seinfeld there before I ever did comedy. | ||
| I went to see Jerry Seinfeld. | ||
| I was maybe 20, like maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Somewhere around there. | ||
| And how does that first set go? | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| Yeah, it was terrible. | ||
| Because my first hit was okay, but it was in like a coffee house, who cares, that barely counts. | ||
| You were in an actual club. | ||
| I was in an actual club, actual open mic night. | ||
| Real, you know, I felt real weird. | ||
| Weird to hear your voice on a microphone for the first time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Barely got laughs. | ||
| Got a couple of ha-ha, ha-ha. | ||
| Now we're your friends Darren now. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| A bunch of my friends. | ||
| Guys that I'm still friends with. | ||
| Shout out to Jimmy Dutileo and Jimmy Lawless. | ||
| Those guys were there. | ||
| Some other people that I went to high school with were there. | ||
| And it was terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was terrible. | |
| It's tough. | ||
| Every now and then you'll see a young guy whose family's in the audience and then he'll go up and just have a real rough time. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| You shouldn't bring your whole family. | ||
| It was a stupid move on my part. | ||
| I've done it. | ||
| I didn't want to drink before I went on stage. | ||
| One thing I did make a decision, I said, look, if I have a drink right now before I go on stage, I'm probably going to want one every time I go on stage. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Because this is like right when I started legally drinking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because I had turned 21 on August 11th and this was August 27th. | ||
| So it was just a few weeks. | ||
| A couple weeks. | ||
| And it was one of those, I don't know if you should do this. | ||
| Don't drink every time you get up there. | ||
| I was very aware of that. | ||
| I was like, just go up there. | ||
| Because I was so scared. | ||
| I was hoping that they didn't call my name. | ||
| There's nothing like the fear right before that first time. | ||
| It's a lot of fear. | ||
| Dude, I had fought so many times. | ||
| I don't even know how many times. | ||
| For years and years. | ||
| Traveled all over the place, kicking people in the face, getting kicked. | ||
| I mean, I did that all the time. | ||
| That didn't scare me as much as going on stage that first time. | ||
| I was shitting my pants. | ||
| But once I did it once, it alleviated a lot of that. | ||
| And it became less and less, like, over time. | ||
| After you did it, did you feel like, oh, fuck? | ||
| Or were you still nervous? | ||
| Were you like, I'm going to do this again? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I thought immediately, this is what I'm going to do. | ||
| Like immediately. | ||
| I've never had a voice in my head ever. | ||
| But that time I did. | ||
| That time I did, I was about to chicken out. | ||
| And I heard a voice in my head say, no, this is what you're supposed to do. | ||
| Now, clearly, I think that's my imagination. | ||
| And clearly, I think it's probably me knowing that I was going to be a pussy. | ||
| So come on, stupid. | ||
| So I was probably talking to myself inside my head. | ||
| But dude, it felt real. | ||
| It felt like a voice was telling me. | ||
| Don't be a pussy. | ||
| This is what you're supposed to do. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Just do it. | ||
| I think a lot of people have that. | ||
| This is what you're supposed to do. | ||
| I think a lot of people have that. | ||
| I think I wanted, the first time I did it, I said, maybe I should do it in a week. | ||
| Maybe I'll be more prepared in a week. | ||
| Maybe I'll push it off. | ||
| But then you just go, I gotta just do it. | ||
| Well, the host of my first open mic night was Jonathan Katz. | ||
| Oh yeah, Dr. Katz. | ||
| Yeah, famous Boston comic. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| And I put my name in for the list, but there's a lot of people on the list. | ||
| And he wasn't sure whether or not I was going to get on. | ||
| And sometimes people would sign up and then they would chicken out. | ||
| So I'm in this position where he's like, I'm not sure if we're going to be able to get you up. | ||
| So give me a couple minutes and I'll know for sure. | ||
| So during those couple minutes I was thinking, I should just say, fuck this, I'm getting out of here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm shitting my pants. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| And then he came back and then I had that thought that said, no, this is what you're supposed to do. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| And you got in there and then he came up to me and goes, hey, I'm going to be able to get you up. | ||
| And I was like, oh my God, here we go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's always the worst. | ||
| And that's the worst. | ||
| And that's happened to me where it's like they come up to you and you're almost waiting. | ||
| You're ready for him to go. | ||
| We can't do it tonight. | ||
| You go, okay, it's great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| But he goes, no, no, no, you're good. | ||
| You're on next. | ||
| And you're like, fuck. | ||
| Yeah, I think I had one or two people in front of me. | ||
| Everybody was doing five minutes. | ||
| One or two people in front of me where I could just relax. | ||
| But it was amazing. | ||
| It allowed me to get my feet wet. | ||
| It allowed me to move my feet. | ||
| And it was also the first time I'd ever been... | ||
| First time I'd ever seen like legitimate professional stand-ups performing in a club like that too. | ||
| Like in those environments with amateurs. | ||
| Like the first time I ever saw like the stark difference between a guy like me and there was this guy Teddy Bergeron who was another Boston legend. | ||
| He's a fucking animal. | ||
| He was so funny. | ||
| There was a couple other guys would stop by those open mic nights back in those days, like pros, like local pros. | ||
| They'd do 5-10 minutes, just work some material out, just stay sharp. | ||
| Everyone was staying sharp. | ||
| That was the first time you got to watch that. | ||
| You got to see that and you're like, holy shit, you can get to this level? | ||
| You see a real pro, all smooth. | ||
| Murdering. | ||
| See him do that same joke again and again and again and kind of break down the mechanics of it. | ||
| Yeah, and you say, oh, okay, I get how he's doing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a cool thing about the store as well. | ||
| It's great, yeah. | ||
| We all get to watch each other work. | ||
| Tony Rock is different than Jessel Neck, is different than you, is different than Joey Diaz. | ||
| Everybody's got their own style. | ||
| Everybody has their own style. | ||
| I saw Joey Diaz the other night in the original room. | ||
| I had rarely seen sets like that. | ||
| Where it was like he was just so fucking in a zone that it was like... | ||
| For that 10 minutes, nobody was on the planet anymore. | ||
| It was just like everybody had been elevated to somewhere else. | ||
| It was wild to watch. | ||
| He goes for it. | ||
| I was happy I was not after him. | ||
| I was very happy I was not. | ||
| That's a tough spot, son. | ||
| Then it's like, well, I'm going to go after him one day, not tonight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One day. | ||
| Not tonight. | ||
| I'll sit in the back. | ||
| He's a tough guy to go on after. | ||
| You used to bring him to open all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always. | |
| And one time I ate shit in New Jersey. | ||
| I ate shit in Rascals going on after him. | ||
| He was loose as fuck. | ||
| And when I say ate shit, I pulled it off, but not really. | ||
| They didn't get booed off the stage, but I know it wasn't very good. | ||
| And he fucking murdered. | ||
| And I remember something happened in the crowd. | ||
| He was fucking with them. | ||
| It was just crazy. | ||
| There was a wild crowd. | ||
| And I was stiff back then. | ||
| That's my biggest problem is when I feel stiff on stage and I feel like I'm not in a groove. | ||
| I'm like, this is a problem. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard. | ||
| It's hard to break out of that sometimes. | ||
| And back then I was terrible at it. | ||
| But I thought to myself, taking him on the road with me is a great exercise. | ||
| It's like bringing a training partner with you that can definitely strangle you. | ||
| So you're forced to really up your game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you're working with Joey Diaz, you can't... | ||
| A lot of the great... | ||
| You gotta be sharp. | ||
| A lot of really good comics, great comics bring openers that are, you know, good. | ||
| I think that's the move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I've seen guys do the opposite, and they do it on purpose. | ||
| They do it... | ||
| They think that what they're gonna do is they're gonna give people, like, a shitty comic for, like, 15, 20 minutes, and then they're gonna go on after them and look like a hero. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I just don't... | ||
| I don't think that's the way to go. | ||
| Also, it doesn't help anybody because the shitty comics, the reality is a lot of people that are really, really shitty, they're not going to get much better. | ||
| They hit the ceiling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, occasionally people do. | ||
| You can never say never because some people just figure things out. | ||
| Some people have... | ||
| You know, they start meditating. | ||
| They fucking concentrate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They turn it around. | |
| Yeah, they turn it around. | ||
| They figure themselves out. | ||
| They mature. | ||
| Maybe they get their heart broken. | ||
| Maybe they become a parent. | ||
| That's a small minority. | ||
| Yeah, small minority. | ||
| I mean, it's a small minority of any of us that make it. | ||
| But out of all of us that do make it to a professional status... | ||
| The ones that are really terrible in the beginning are rarely capable of progressing to a headliner state. | ||
| That's the one thing that really shocked me is the amount of people that go from amateur to professional in this, it is a tiny fraction. | ||
| It's a tiny fraction. | ||
| It's a tiny fraction of people that go from open mic nights to headlining at the improv. | ||
| It's a super, super, super small fraction. | ||
| And it's not that they're not capable of it either, because sometimes people just, it's a little wrong zig or a little wrong zag, and then they go off the track and then they don't come back. | ||
| You also have to not, you have to like getting kicked in the face a little. | ||
| Because things are gonna, I mean, you're gonna have those times when things are not good and you have to deal with that. | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| Like, I remember one guy looked at me once, he had a really rough set and he ended up quitting like two weeks later, but he looked at me, you could see it in his face, he goes, this wasn't fun. | ||
| And you could see he was internalizing that in a way that was going to lead him eventually to the exit door. | ||
| I think sometimes that just, you know, it's the pain of the bombing. | ||
| It's just like you're not equipped for it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, at different points in your life, you're equipped for different kinds of pain, right? | ||
| And sometimes the pain of that rejection of bombing is just you're already an emotional mess and you're already so fucking barely hanging on. | ||
| You know, you're so fragile. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that hits you. | ||
| That pushes you off the ledge. | ||
| And sometimes people aren't, they're not equipped to handle the killing. | ||
| Oh yeah, that too. | ||
| Yeah, the other side. | ||
| People get like legitimate fear of success. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The pressure of the unknown is fucking... | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| You'd rather know that you're not going to make it. | ||
| You'd rather know that you're just going to be a schlubby loser. | ||
| Yeah, because if you fail, if you succeed, you can fail. | ||
| If you take the real risk, that's why a lot of people don't move to New York or LA, because you can fail in a real way. | ||
| There's a bunch of fears, right? | ||
| There's a fear of keeping up with people's expectations. | ||
| Like when a comic starts to develop a fan base, you see that sometimes, they get scared. | ||
| They get scared these people are going to not like them someday. | ||
| Or turn on them. | ||
| Yeah, or turn on them. | ||
| People sense that too. | ||
| They know when you're scared of that. | ||
| They know that they own you. | ||
| They come to get you. | ||
| They control you. | ||
| They come to get you. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| We've all seen guys go bonkers. | ||
| I honestly think people used to go more bonkers back in the day when they got development deals. | ||
| Yeah, they were just handed hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions of dollars. | ||
| Not only that, but everybody had some crazy story about their show definitely is going to go, and already picked up by Universal, and they have a $1 million backup deal, and Warner Brothers is really interested in it. | ||
| Dude, you'd have these conversations with these people. | ||
| And back in the deal days, you would say to a comic, like, hey man, what's up? | ||
| He's like, hey, well, everything's real good right now. | ||
| Warner Brothers picked up my pilot and I'm in the middle of this process where I'm taking my life story and I'm going to turn it into a cartoon. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| I just want to say hi, man. | ||
| Burr told me, he goes, you know, you used to do a five, seven minute set at the improv and if you killed, there was a chance somebody in the back had a bag of money. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes. | ||
| Definitely festivals were big for that in the 90s. | ||
| If you could kill at Montreal, you could get some sort of a deal. | ||
| If you could kill in front of all those executives that are on vacation, Montreal was a big one. | ||
| That was huge. | ||
| Yeah, big, big, big. | ||
| When I did it, my agent bought me a lunch. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| I did great. | ||
| It's worth lunch now. | ||
| But that's what it's worth now. | ||
| You get. | ||
| You kill at a great set, and they go anywhere you want, which it wasn't. | ||
| It was where they wanted, but it was still fine. | ||
| We got a smoked meat sandwich. | ||
| What would happen with the development deal thing would be you would get a deal, and then you'd be convinced your show was going to go, and then you started acting like you were famous. | ||
| Right. | ||
| A lot of that. | ||
| Now people do that after they have one Conan set that no one watched. | ||
| A lot of that. | ||
| My agent at the time would get... | ||
| She had clients that would just run up to her and just at any moment want to discuss their career in depth. | ||
| At the Laugh Factory, phone calls at 1 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| People were nuts. | ||
| And they started demanding that you treat them like the up-and-coming star that they know they are. | ||
| And... | ||
| A shit ton of them just went away, man. | ||
| And a lot of that, and it was just people that were like, it's all happening, and they just let it get to their head. | ||
| And then if you're the head of a show, like, you know, I talked to Roseanne about it. | ||
| She was talking about how she went fucking bonkers when she was running her original show and was making all that fucking money, like, out of nowhere. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, that's one of the reasons why I worked so hard to, like... | ||
| Get her comfortable and talk to her on the show and get her to open up about who she really is. | ||
| Most people don't even know the story about her getting hit in the head by a car when she was 15, spending nine months in a mental health institute. | ||
| That's what she is, man. | ||
| She's a legit head injury, a head trauma victim. | ||
| And a brilliant comic. | ||
| And one of the best comics ever. | ||
| But people need to understand, if you guys really respect mental health, like you say you do, if you're really compassionate, like you say you are, this is not a bad person. | ||
| She's not a bad person. | ||
| She's a person who was hit by a fucking car when she was 15 and brained. | ||
| And she lost her ability to count. | ||
| She couldn't do math anymore. | ||
| Yeah, she has challenges other people don't. | ||
| But it's, you know, a lot of these people, you know, with Shane Gillis, you know, these are the same, the guy on SNL, these are the same people that are like, talk about mental health all day. | ||
| And then they're tweeting this kid every single two minutes that, you know, he should be, you know, thrown out of a window. | ||
| It's like, you don't know any of these people personally. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And the idea that you could just wield this online mob is, and then the next day be like, hey, self-care is important. | ||
| I know, it's crazy. | ||
| It's so hypocritical, but it's also like what we were talking about earlier, about people leaving comments on your YouTube or whatever. | ||
| It's like, I get it. | ||
| It is what it is, yeah. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I don't think it helps to go back and forth with people. | ||
| I think it just inflames people. | ||
| But I do get where they're coming from, just like I get the people that are hating on Shane Gillis. | ||
| I get the people that went after Roseanne. | ||
| People see you limping, man. | ||
| They start kicking you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a normal part of being a person. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| We've all seen it. | ||
| You know, we've all seen... | ||
| It's one of the uglier components of our nature. | ||
| Dude, World Star Hip Hop's got some of the best examples of all time. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| One guy gets punched, he goes out cold, and everybody just starts kicking him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, it's rough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've seen a bunch of those. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| A bunch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| It's a part of being a person, you know, and mob mentality is fucking real. | ||
| It's real in person if you've ever experienced it. | ||
| I've been in a couple of situations before where it just felt like anything could break out at any moment and things got wild. | ||
| Last one was at the Conor McGregor fight. | ||
| When Conor McGregor fought Khabib Nurmagomedov and then Khabib jumped out of the octagon and had a street fight with Dylan Dennis and people are flying into the octagon jumping over the top and punching Conor in the face and it was one of those feelings like holy shit anything can go on right now and I'm still broadcasting. | ||
| Pure chaos. | ||
| Yeah, but there's a feeling in the air. | ||
| And then if it did go crazy, people would be swinging. | ||
| Everybody would be swinging. | ||
| People would be brawling with each other for no fucking reason. | ||
| People would just look at you and try to punch you. | ||
| You'd be like, what the fuck is this about? | ||
| Sometimes things just go haywire. | ||
| Sometimes things go haywire. | ||
| And I think there's a built-in part of being a person that recognizes when things are off the rails and you go off with them. | ||
|
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Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And I think that's what the mob mentality is. | ||
| Interesting, because you're just scared of being alone. | ||
| No matter what it is, you're just scared of being alone. | ||
| You'd rather be in the chaos with others. | ||
| Have you ever talked to Jamie Kilstein? | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Yeah, I know he follows me on Twitter. | ||
| He's a nice guy. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| He was a super-duper social justice warrior. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And they turned on him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he realized, like, oh my god, this is what I was doing. | ||
| And he realized that he would go after people just to get this charge of seeing people respond. | ||
| This dopamine rush. | ||
| Attack a politician or attack an actor and call someone a bigot or call someone a pedophile or whatever the fuck. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| I mean, I don't think he did that, but whatever you wanted to call someone. | ||
| You're just trying to press a button. | ||
| And then... | ||
| The things coming back at you. | ||
| And you get addicted to it. | ||
| Yeah, it's dopamine. | ||
| You get addicted to this game. | ||
| And we're all doing it. | ||
| We're all doing it. | ||
| And what we need is, not that there's anything wrong with it. | ||
| I don't think there's anything wrong with using Twitter and Instagram or any of these things. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| But I think we've got to spend more time just talking to regular people. | ||
| I think our race is slowly getting sucked into the machines. | ||
| Do you think that maybe the next generation will be like Luddites or they'll be anti-technology or they'll at least... | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| There's no shot, right? | ||
| There's no chance that the wave will recede a little bit and that people will recognize this? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think a few people are screaming out while the herd of us is running towards a cliff. | ||
| Yeah, my friend, my friend, Jessa Reed, who's a very funny comic, her mother was saying, you know, she has daughters, she goes, you know, you let the kids on the phones too much. | ||
| She goes, Mom, in 10 years, they're going to be the phone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She was like, the phone's going to be inside of them soon. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it's like, well, what am I fighting? | ||
| You know, what am I fighting with? | ||
| I limit my kids' time on the phones, except the older one, of course. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| I just don't think that it's a challenge. | ||
| Do you control the content? | ||
| Yes. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I just don't think it's a challenge that we ever faced. | ||
| Are they allowed to watch Infowars? | ||
| All day. | ||
| That's all we have. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| We project it. | ||
| What else is the keys? | ||
| Screen time. | ||
| Screen time's a big key. | ||
| Tell her about Epstein. | ||
| Epstein didn't kill himself. | ||
| That's big. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| Before they start Googling. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They gotta know. | ||
| They gotta know. | ||
| It fucks up your sleep when you're on a... | ||
| I fall asleep to a podcast. | ||
| You're gonna laugh. | ||
| I used to fall asleep to Alex. | ||
| I would listen to Alex's clips on YouTube and I would fall asleep to just... | ||
| And I would be able to put me to sleep. | ||
| You know what I think his best video is to this day? | ||
| He's one of the greatest entertainers of our time. | ||
| You gotta watch him. | ||
| When I first met him, he wasn't the Alex Jones that people see today. | ||
| And I think the Alex Jones that he is today is changing because of his not drinking. | ||
| Oh yeah, interesting. | ||
| Yeah, because he's clean for 90 days. | ||
| He sounds different. | ||
| But what I'm thinking is, when I first saw 9-11 Road to Tyranny, it was one of the first videos that I ever watched, I was like, whoa. | ||
| It's one of the first videos that ever opened my eyes up to certain conspiracies, and one of them was the conspiracies of using agent provocateurs to incite violence in riots to incite that feeling of chaos, and then they used it as an excuse for the police to come in and start arresting people, because now it's no longer a peaceful protest. | ||
| And they do it all the time. | ||
| Yeah, and so he was making this argument about the World Trade Organization. | ||
| Yeah, WTO. Yeah, and so he showed all these videos of these guys coming in with government-issued work boots on. | ||
| They have like fucking the same soles as like government-issued work boots. | ||
| They're wearing ski masks, breaking buildings, lighting shit on fire, smashing everything. | ||
| And then the cops come in and clean everybody up. | ||
| And then they actually made it a no-protest zone. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| So a guy went through, or a woman, I forget which, but had a pin with a WTO on it with a red line on it. | ||
| They told him you had to take that pin off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| America. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's just every protest resistance movement has been infiltrated. | ||
| The FBI did a COINTELPRO. They did it with the Black Panthers. | ||
| They've just done it with everybody. | ||
| But when he plays that video and you see that and it's like real clear and then you hear how it all played out that all the agent provocateurs wound up going to a safe house and then the police released them. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's crazy. | |
| They negotiated with the police and police released them. | ||
| You're like, wait a minute, what? | ||
| There's not even arrests made? | ||
| It's probably somebody's job in the FBI to dye their hair pink and go into Portland and start throwing rocks at Ben Shapiro or something. | ||
| Back then, they were just allowed to wear ski masks and shit. | ||
| They would just start smashing shit and you couldn't even know who they were. | ||
| And you just assumed that that was... | ||
| I mean, it's such a crazy way to stop a protest and I never thought about it until I watched a video. | ||
| But a smart way, too, when you think about it. | ||
| It's fucking real smart. | ||
| These guys know what they're doing. | ||
| They're But they've been doing that kind of shit forever. | ||
| That's like standard operational procedure. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| This is a weird time for conspiracies. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| They've gone mainstream, which is not good. | ||
| Very dangerous. | ||
| It's very dangerous. | ||
| Well, Trump's into a lot of them. | ||
| He's into a lot of them. | ||
| And I think there's not a huge... | ||
| There's only a small group of people that want a rational discussion about them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People really just want to be emotionally fed. | ||
| Does this feel right to me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had a guy call me today. | ||
| He's a very smart guy. | ||
| He wrote The Franklin Scandal, which is a book about the original Epstein thing, the original sex trafficking thing. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Well, The Franklin Scandal was a scandal out of Omaha, Nebraska, the Franklin Credit Union, where there was a guy who was embezzling money, and then he was being investigated for that, but they said he has all this money because he's running an interstate pedophile network. | ||
| And he's pandering kids to people in Washington, D.C. and New York. | ||
| And there was a headline in the Washington Post or the Washington Times that were like, call boys get a tour of the Reagan White House. | ||
| And this was a scandal with real victims who wanted to testify and then people started dying. | ||
| The private investigator they hired, his plane broke up. | ||
| One of the girls that testified was found guilty of perjury and then she was put in solitary confinement. | ||
| They had to use two grand juries in Omaha to get rid of this scandal. | ||
| Now, it's not as sexy as a Pizzagate or something because it happened in the 80s and 90s, but this shows you the blueprint for the government... | ||
| You know, using, marshalling resources to silence people that were victims of this stuff. | ||
| This is not new. | ||
| Congressman, senators, blackmail being used by intelligence agencies. | ||
| None of it's new. | ||
| It was pioneered by the mafia. | ||
| You know, intelligence, Whitney Webb, who lives in Chile, and I've had her on my show, she writes a lot about this stuff. | ||
| You know, this is, you know, if you want people to talk, you need info, you need leverage. | ||
| There's no more leverage than you having sex with somebody who's underage. | ||
| Then they own you forever if they have photo, audio, video of you doing that. | ||
| So these things have been going on for a while. | ||
| The Franklin scandal was one of the first. | ||
| But the guy who wrote it, this guy Nick Bryant, called me today and he goes, I can't get any agents. | ||
| It's very hard because like... | ||
| The reality is mainstream media is uninterested in a lot of these stories unless they're current and they're sexy. | ||
| And online fringe people are only interested if they're insane. | ||
| Well, there's so many of them now, though, too. | ||
| There's so many. | ||
| It's hard to keep track. | ||
| You were just saying that you were just in Dallas. | ||
| Did you do the drive? | ||
| I didn't do the drive, but I went to the X where he was shot. | ||
| Oh, where he was shot at. | ||
| There was five Canadians there and they were like, I just started giving them an impromptu tour of Dallas because they were like, is this where Kennedy got wet? | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, this is how it happened. | ||
| How many people do you think have stood there and went like this? | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| I wanted to do it. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| I wanted to do it with a Popeye's chicken sandwich and just write, you know, this is America. | ||
| It says this is where Princess Diana was killed. | ||
| Yeah, we're just having a little fun. | ||
| Is that really where Kennedy was killed, though? | ||
| That's exactly where he was shot. | ||
| That's exactly where, and how cryptic is that? | ||
| Look how angry you look. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're a crazy person. | ||
| Well, I'm just trying to have a little fun. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| It's a weird thing to joke around about. | ||
| I know. | ||
| But then you go to the school book depository, and it is super close. | ||
| It could have happened. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Listen, everybody who says there's no way he could have made those shots is out of their fucking mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's not that far. | ||
| That is not the thing that makes me think it's a conspiracy. | ||
| It's literally everything else. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's every other component of the story. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of components. | ||
| It's Oswald being shot immediately. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I mean, that's... | ||
| Oswald surely could have been in on it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| He could have definitely been in on it. | ||
| Or he could have definitely been set up. | ||
| Both of those things are possible. | ||
| And Dallas has an interesting energy because of that. | ||
| It's a great city, but it does feel like a city of people that keep their mouth shut. | ||
| A lot of big corporate steakhouses, high-end hotels, a lot of people carving up deals. | ||
| It just feels like something's going on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| So that's where he is, and that's the building up there. | ||
| See, that's not that far. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| I think they said it's just like 150 yards or something like that? | ||
| It's not. | ||
| When you're actually there, it looks even closer than this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many yards was it, Jamie? | ||
| Find out how many yards Oswald had to shoot to hit Kennedy. | ||
| But it's totally doable. | ||
| And people would say that it's not. | ||
| You're crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're nuts. | ||
| And people that say that you can't load a gun that fast, maybe you can't. | ||
| I bet you someone can do it faster than you. | ||
| I've seen guys use bolt-action rifles fast as fuck. | ||
| Could they get off three shots in that amount of time? | ||
| I don't know, but I'm not... | ||
| I don't think it's magic. | ||
| I don't think it's something impossible. | ||
| The other thing they said was that the scope was off. | ||
| Anybody who said that doesn't know shit about scopes, all you have to do is handle it a little bit, drop it, bang it against things. | ||
| Scope goes off. | ||
| To me, it was the idea that that guy was killed immediately, and then obviously I've read a couple of books on it, but the idea that he gets killed immediately, that's where you go, something's wrong. | ||
| Something's just completely... | ||
| 183 meters is what I just found. | ||
| 183 meters. | ||
| What is that in yards? | ||
| About 200 yards. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| That's what this says. | ||
| I don't know if this is what the accurate measurement was, but that's what I just found. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| I didn't know it was that much of a disparity. | ||
| This says it was never more than 90 yards from Oswald's supposed location. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So where he went when he got the final shot was that far? | ||
| Was 200 yards? | ||
| No, that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| He was never more than 90 yards from Oswald's location. | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| Two separate... | ||
| I didn't know that 183 meters was 200 yards. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, a meter's pretty close to a yard. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty similar. | ||
| Right, but that's why I thought it would be like 185 or something like that. | ||
| There's actually a formula for doing that, for converting meters to yards. | ||
| You add one of the last numbers or some shit. | ||
| I forget how it works. | ||
| It's an interesting thing because it really is... | ||
| You know, Christopher Hitchens said that the Kennedy assassination was the movement that, like, that moment was the psychic movement of the 60s started. | ||
| Like, that was the fracturing of reality for a lot of people in the same way that maybe Epstein was, where it just kind of... | ||
| No, the president's got to be way bigger, man. | ||
| It's huge. | ||
| It was huge. | ||
| It was this big thing that, you know, it was a traumatic event that people dealt with in a bunch of different ways. | ||
| No one's sitting around going, do you remember where you were? | ||
| Well, you don't have the friends I do. | ||
| There's a lot of people on Reddit saying that. | ||
| But it's like 9-11. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Almost. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, similar. | ||
| Those are the events. | ||
| Unless you knew somebody in 9-11, it's probably bigger than 9-11. | ||
| Do you think it's possible that down the road, not that the government did it, but we find out that there was a substantial cover-up. | ||
| We didn't know about Saudi Arabia, their involvement for a while. | ||
| Oh, for 9-11? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you think it's possible that we just don't know the whole story? | ||
| It's totally possible. | ||
| I don't have any idea what was being done or who was involved. | ||
| I know that there was a bunch of hijackers and they flew planes into those buildings, but who was behind that? | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| How would we know? | ||
| Great question. | ||
| What part of... | ||
| What part of Saudi Arabia, where they all came from? | ||
| Where'd they get their orders from? | ||
| How'd they organize this? | ||
| I think they know a certain amount, and I think a certain amount they'll probably never know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we'll all go to our death not knowing. | ||
| What do you think about that one that got shot down? | ||
| That Let's Roll one? | ||
| Yeah, they shot that down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, they said that thing, the flight, the rubbish, the wreckage was scattered for miles. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there's no way they didn't shot that. | ||
| But there's a lot of things about that day where you look back at it and you go, this is just weird. | ||
| It's weird that a building fell that wasn't hit by anything. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| I'm not saying it can't happen, but that's odd. | ||
| It's definitely odd. | ||
| That's odd. | ||
| The way it looks is odd. | ||
| It looks like a controlled demolition. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you watch the full version, there's a guy who used to be like a full on 9/11 truther and then he started like paying attention. | ||
| Then the CIA started paying him. | ||
| He started just paying attention to the flaws in his way of thinking. | ||
| And one of the things that he found out was that the version of Tower 7 that most people see is a version that's very quick. | ||
| It implodes and it just falls down. | ||
| But for minutes before that, you can watch the center of the thing collapse inside of it. | ||
| Oh, interesting. | ||
| Have you ever seen that version? | ||
| I've never seen that version. | ||
| Pull up the full version. | ||
| Can we see that one? | ||
| Yeah, it's very interesting. | ||
| Full version of Tower 7 collapsing inside. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, because the 9-11 people get so crazy. | ||
| They're like, there were no buildings. | ||
| It's all holograms. | ||
| There were no planes. | ||
| New York doesn't exist. | ||
| I mean, it's nuts. | ||
| But I want to see the uncut Building 7. Did a plane hit the Pentagon? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Well, okay, but just release. | ||
| I just want to see one video of it happening. | ||
| Just show me one video. | ||
| Do you think they have a video? | ||
| There's 80 cameras on the Pentagon. | ||
| Just show me one video of it happening. | ||
| I think it probably happened. | ||
| Isn't there one video of a plane hitting the Pentagon? | ||
| There's one, but it's very weird. | ||
| The frames are very weird. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Just show me the video. | ||
| I want to believe a plane hit the Pentagon. | ||
| The rover on the fucking moon is taking beautiful videos. | ||
| This is what I'm saying! | ||
| This is the problem! | ||
| This is the issue! | ||
| You imagine if you have some shit that's like a thousand times worse than one of them doorbell cameras? | ||
| They got a thousand times worth viewing the goddamn Pentagon. | ||
| They're putting it together from cell phone cameras. | ||
| I understand that technology was different. | ||
| Just show me a video of a plane hitting the Pentagon and I'm good. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| What do you think? | ||
| It could be a missile? | ||
| I don't know, but I just want to know why there's no one video. | ||
| We've got to see a video. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| Why am I crazy for saying, can I just see one video of the thing happening that you said happened? | ||
| Well, did you know that... | ||
| Maybe this is not true, and Jamie's going to be checking this one out soon. | ||
| The area in the Pentagon that got hit... | ||
| Was re-fortified. | ||
| ...was the same area where they were doing the accounting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Where they were trying to figure out where the trillion dollars is missing that Rumsfeld was talking about on camera. | ||
| Just that... | ||
| I think the day before, right? | ||
|
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Wasn't he? | |
| Yeah, it's an interesting situation. | ||
| Didn't he say that there's missing money? | ||
| Wasn't Rumsfeld out on the lawn? | ||
| These people, what are they doing? | ||
| They're just doing press. | ||
| You're not in a bunker. | ||
| You're out on the lawn. | ||
| I don't know what happened. | ||
| I mean, listen. | ||
| It was something crazy, like trillions of dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
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2.3. | |
| It's a 2.3 trillion. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I mean, you know. | ||
| And so the next day, see if that's true, that that area of the Pentagon that held the accounting. | ||
| I don't think they tell you what. | ||
| Just see if you can Google the area of the Pentagon that was hit contained the accounting offices. | ||
| Jamie, I believe the dark web will have it. | ||
| The dark web will have it, Jamie. | ||
| I feel like I read that, though. | ||
| I understand your suspicion, but I just like you to... | ||
| I'm trying to lie. | ||
| I heard that Building 7 had a lot of financial records in it. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| And Ron? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| All the satellite dishes that were pointed at... | ||
| Listen, here's the thing with the way I look at conspiracies. | ||
| I don't want to believe in any of them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's the whole thing. | ||
| I want there to be a plan to hit the pen. | ||
| I want it all to be what it is. | ||
| I have no investment. | ||
| But now that we know that a bunch of elites were going to an island to have sex with underage girls, we know. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, of course! | |
| They could do whatever. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| But we also know, like, hey, how much of this is true? | ||
| This is a wacky one. | ||
| This is one that if you told your mom 10 years ago, she'd be like, Timmy, you're back on the drugs. | ||
| Yeah, she would. | ||
| She'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| No one's going to an island to fuck kids. | ||
| But it's the same thing. | ||
| It's like, now that that's on the table, you look at other events and you're like, well, we don't know necessarily how all of these things happen. | ||
| No, we don't know. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| We just have to go. | ||
| Listen, there's conservative fire companies from Queens, from out by Long Island, that because they've gotten sick and stuff, have demanded a new investigation. | ||
| And these are not crazy people. | ||
| These are people that just go, listen, we're all dying from first responders and things. | ||
| We want to know exactly what the hell we breathed in and what the hell's going on. | ||
| Well, it's all the burning chemicals from the basement of the building, right? | ||
| Wasn't that the idea? | ||
| Those fires burn forever. | ||
| I guess that's what it is. | ||
| Yeah, those guys got, so many of them got sick. | ||
| So many of them got cancer. | ||
| Yeah, it's horrible. | ||
| It's horrific. | ||
| It's really fucked up. | ||
| Donna Summer's died from that. | ||
| Donna Summer, the disco person? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I don't really care about that. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| Don't. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I like her. | ||
| She's amazing. | ||
| She's great, but was she saving people at 9-11? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| She had an apartment that was near the site of the building. | ||
| It's like Donna Summers running into the building. | ||
| Dude, I think you live down there, man. | ||
| If you have an apartment down there and you can't move, you're breathing that air, man. | ||
|
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Interesting. | |
| She died of lung cancer, I think. | ||
| I thought she was a smoker. | ||
| I don't think she was. | ||
| I thought she would just smoke cigarettes and do coke and live a fun disco life. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| I think she found the Lord. | ||
| I had no idea she was a first responder. | ||
| After she gave up on all that hot love. | ||
| She was going through the wreckage. | ||
| God bless her. | ||
| No, she was not going through the wreckage. | ||
| She was just living there. | ||
| She was just living in her apartment. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay. | |
| I think that's the idea. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| There are people that are probably very sick. | ||
| Oh, yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, and they were lied to about the risks. | ||
| Well, I don't think anybody knew. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Because nobody had ever had to endure an inferno in the basement of a gigantic building in the metropolitan city that lasted for weeks. | ||
|
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Crazy. | |
| Right after planes crash, all the dust is in the air, all the fucking pollutants, particulates, and everybody's breathing all that shit in. | ||
| I mean, you've got to go back to work eventually, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, 100%. | ||
| So when you go back to work a week later, two weeks later, guess what? | ||
| The air's still fucked up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I'm sorry to hear about Donna Summer. | ||
| Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's correct. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I'm wrong a lot. | ||
| Can you pull up a video of Donna Summer breathing in the fumes at Ground Zero? | ||
| She's great. | ||
| I saw her at Jones Beach. | ||
| She was really good. | ||
| Did you? | ||
|
unidentified
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You saw her live? | |
| I saw her at Jones Beach live. | ||
| What year was this? | ||
| She was older. | ||
| It was her comeback. | ||
| It was like 2000. Donna Summer blamed 9-11 for lung cancer. | ||
| It was like 2000. She was coming back. | ||
| She released a Greatest Hits album. | ||
| You and your ad blocker, you son of a bitch. | ||
| Those ad blockers... | ||
| Yeah, my producer Ben has them too, and he's always got them. | ||
| Donna Summer, 9-11, gave me cancer. | ||
| Well, that's not a fun song, is it? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's not a fun song. | ||
| Donna Summer was convinced that inhaling toxic air after 9-11 gave her the lung cancer that eventually killed her. | ||
| TMZ has learned. | ||
| Source close to the singer tells TMZ, who we're hearing this morning, that Donna was in New York City during 9-11, living at an apartment near Ground Zero. | ||
| Donna became almost paranoid about breathing the air, which was heavy, with a rancid odor. | ||
| Gotta move. | ||
| In the months and years following 9-11, Donna's feelings intensified. | ||
| One source tells us that when he was around Donna, she would constantly spray some sort of disinfectant in the air. | ||
| Danny Terrio, the host of Dance Fever, tells us when he was around Donna post-9-11, she would hang six sheets in her dressing room to prevent dust from coming in. | ||
| Well... | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| She sounds like she did die of it. | ||
| And she also sounds like she's being annoying in the end. | ||
| She sounds like she's being a little annoying. | ||
| With her sheets. | ||
| It's a little annoying, Donna. | ||
| Yeah, I guess she probably didn't have the money to move. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| You would think. | ||
| Last Dance? | ||
| But yeah, my dad saw her once performing in bars. | ||
| It was rough. | ||
| Sometimes people just spend all that money, man. | ||
| They have nothing left. | ||
| It's tough, man. | ||
| It's a marathon career. | ||
| Well, especially music. | ||
| Back then, who knows what kind of fucking crazy contract they were under. | ||
| Oh, they were under some. | ||
| Yeah, where you only get a certain percentage. | ||
| Everybody else gets all the real royalties. | ||
| Taylor Swift has that right now, right? | ||
| She's got something like that. | ||
| She's got a problem. | ||
| Yeah, someone owns the rights to her song, and she's not allowed to play some songs, and she was complaining on Twitter. | ||
| But I guess it's like someone buys the rights to her song. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| It is what it is. | ||
| Yeah, like if you're an artist, and I think... | ||
| I think it's her manager, Scooter. | ||
| I think it's her former manager, right? | ||
| Her former manager bought all the rights to her music. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's a dirty business. | ||
| It's a dirty game. | ||
| That's the dirtiest game. | ||
| This is what it is, though. | ||
| Don't you think, in all of Hollywood, that's the dirtiest game? | ||
| Because they take a full 360 deal. | ||
| They'll take everything. | ||
| That's a dirty game. | ||
| Child acting seems also rough from some documentaries I've seen. | ||
| Oh, that's the roughest. | ||
| That seems rough. | ||
| I was a child actor, but I failed. | ||
| I didn't even make it to L.A. I mean, I was doing shows in Long Island high schools. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| It was rough. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| So you got a taste. | ||
| Yeah, I got a taste. | ||
| I mean, I auditioned for Big Thing. | ||
| And I was a good-looking kid, too. | ||
| I mean, I peaked when I was like seven and a half, and then it's been just a steady decline. | ||
| But the thing is, kids that go into that, it's bad. | ||
| Yeah, it's bad. | ||
| Did you see Corey Feldman on Good Day New York when he's dressed in all black and he's like jumping around like an MKUltra victim? | ||
| It's like, oh, this kid went through some shit that is horrific. | ||
| Do you remember when he used to do shows and he had Corey and his angels? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I had friends that would just go see that because it was really the best thing to watch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But music is shitty. | ||
| Nobody gets through. | ||
| Nobody gets through. | ||
| You don't make it out of this town alive, really. | ||
| No. | ||
| This town will eat you alive. | ||
| Not like that you don't. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not like that you don't. | ||
| This town will eat you alive. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But you still got to stay. | ||
| You can't leave. | ||
| You can't escape to some beautiful, quiet looks. | ||
| Because you set a great example. | ||
| When you're gone, it'll just be, you know, God only knows who's going to step in. | ||
| yeah yeah it'll be not good jesus christ you know who knows you're so lucky you weren't a musician right yeah my dad was a musician but it didn't really work out that well i mean he was really good and really talented but he didn't really go to the next level but music sucks well imagine being in a band and you gotta make sure the other guys show up at rehearsal yeah it's tough and they don't want to it's hard and one of the guy's girlfriends wants to get married and have a baby and wants him to quit the band and get a job yeah like tommy We're going on the road. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Cindy really wants me to sit around. | ||
| That's why I didn't get into sketch comedy. | ||
| I didn't get into improv. | ||
| I didn't get into doing anything with a team. | ||
| I just wanted to be able to motivate myself. | ||
| I manage myself. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| That's it. | ||
| No, I have a manager. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Just handle yourself, not a team of people. | ||
| Yeah, I have a guy that I work with, Ben, who edits all my videos, who's great, who I love, but I don't have an interest in having a sketch group of people. | ||
| I want to be able to be light and fast and do things that I want to do when I want to do. | ||
|
unidentified
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Stick and move. | |
| Stick and move, hustler. | ||
| Are you still keto? | ||
| You know, there's been issues, but there's been some issues. | ||
| What's the issue? | ||
| I can keto today. | ||
| I've been keto today. | ||
| The issue is New York. | ||
| New York's a problem. | ||
| New York's a problem. | ||
| Calzones? | ||
| Listen, New York's a problem. | ||
| LA, there's no good carbs. | ||
| There's not a lot of good carbs here, Joe. | ||
| There'd be Italian restaurants here. | ||
| These people here are animals, to be honest. | ||
| It's all drugs and whatever else they're into, kids or whatever. | ||
| The point is they can't make a great, like a Linguinean clamp. | ||
| You can't get that here. | ||
| You can get it here. | ||
| But if you go to Brooklyn, it's like, come on. | ||
| So listen, there were small issues. | ||
| You can get it here. | ||
| There's only a few places though. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And don't tell me them, please. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay. | |
| But I'm back now and it's been a good positive trend and I sound like Kamala Harris. | ||
| Start spreading the news. | ||
| Yeah, but no, it's all good. | ||
| I text Shaub food. | ||
| He tells me if I can eat it or not. | ||
| Oh, beautiful. | ||
| He had a cookie, though, but he had a cookie. | ||
| He's got a t-shirt that says Keto Kid. | ||
| You should buy it and wear it. | ||
| Just remind yourself every day. | ||
| That I won't do. | ||
| He can give me a free one because he doesn't need any money. | ||
| He'll give you a free one. | ||
| He'll give me a free one. | ||
| He had a cookie once, and I said, well, how am I supposed to... | ||
| You're gonna be the keto kid? | ||
| Yeah, keto kid too. | ||
| You're the keto kid. | ||
| Keto kid. | ||
| Keto forever. | ||
| Tell them to give you five of those. | ||
| You wear one every day of the week. | ||
| The problem was I started to go to GNC and they're like, we have a keto brownie. | ||
| And I'm like, okay, but that's a problem. | ||
| Most of those taste like shit. | ||
| They taste like shit and then they just make you want a real one. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So you just have to not do that. | ||
| Some of them are pretty good. | ||
| There's some pretty good keto cookies. | ||
| There's some keto cookie companies. | ||
| It's just not that easy to nail. | ||
| You know, it's not that easy to just fucking totally dial in. | ||
| It's a tough, it's a tough thing to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Just eat regular food. | ||
| Eat real food. | ||
| The thing for you, man, if you just cut out the sugar in the bread. | ||
| Cut out sugar in the bread, yeah. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| And I had, I lost, and I still kept most of it off. | ||
| I just gotta keep going. | ||
| Are you hiking or anything? | ||
| I don't like hikings. | ||
| I don't like the way the earth looks in LA. The earth looks like it's horrible. | ||
| It's burned. | ||
| It's an arid wasteland. | ||
| But I'll go to areas like Hancock Park and I'll walk around wealthy areas. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Hancock Park's nice. | ||
| I like it there. | ||
| Have you ever been to Griffith Park? | ||
| I went there once, I saw a coyote, and he ran away from me. | ||
| You gotta bring a knife or a gun, but you should go. | ||
| Well, who's gonna attack? | ||
| Coyotes, just fear me. | ||
| They don't attack me. | ||
| They look at me and they go, it's a bear, and they leave. | ||
| Eventually they're gonna kill a person, it might be you. | ||
| One day. | ||
| If I'm the first guy to get killed by coyotes in Griffith Park, that's exactly the way I deserve to go. | ||
|
unidentified
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You would be the first. | |
| They've been hiding shit. | ||
| But you know what I'm doing now? | ||
| Swimming, because I used to be a great swimmer. | ||
| I was a great swimmer. | ||
| Didn't a guy get bit by a coyote at Griffith Park? | ||
| Didn't they bit a homeless man? | ||
| I think they bit a homeless man while he was asleep. | ||
| Well, we're taking his word for it? | ||
| You don't believe him? | ||
| He had a bite. | ||
| Yeah, but from another homeless person. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| And they blamed him on a coyote? | ||
| Yeah, he blamed him on a coyote. | ||
| What was that, Tom? | ||
| That's a coyote! | ||
| He wanted money from the city. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did a homeless guy get bit by a coyote? | ||
| Do you ever swim? | ||
| Swimming's one of the greatest exercises. | ||
| It's a Montebello park. | ||
| Oh, Montebello Park. | ||
| Two years ago. | ||
| Three years ago. | ||
| I do swim, but I gotta tell you, I had a nightmare that you're just reminding me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That I was swimming last night and there were sharks in the water. | ||
| And I was swimming back at night from some place and everybody was just doing it. | ||
| We're all just taking a chance and we're like, oh my god, we're so crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| This could be the time where one of us dies. | ||
| And they're like, dude, people swim so often. | ||
| It's so rare that people get bit by sharks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was just thinking, yeah, but it does happen. | ||
| It's not like... | ||
| Seagulls don't kill people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you're around seagulls, you're like, are you sure? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They never killed anyone ever. | ||
| It can happen. | ||
| I mean, I do it in a pool. | ||
| But I'll go to the ocean, too. | ||
| But I'll swim like laps. | ||
| Swimming's amazing. | ||
| That's the real... | ||
| That's a great exercise. | ||
| It's such a great exercise. | ||
| It wears you the fuck out, and it's super low impact. | ||
| Yeah, it's low impact. | ||
| Because I'm not going to do something like that, and I don't like hiking, and I don't really like running. | ||
| What about heroic boxing? | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Housewife boxing? | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Housewife boxing? | ||
| Thank you for that suggestion. | ||
| Where would Housewife Boxing be? | ||
| I'd love to get involved with Housewife Boxing. | ||
| We'll find out where you are. | ||
| What's a gym near you? | ||
| I'm West Hollywood. | ||
| I'm right down the block from the improv. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| There's got to be spots. | ||
| There's a spot on Sunset that Justin Bieber invested in. | ||
| Oh, Unbreakable Gyms? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The boxing place. | ||
| It's on the corner. | ||
| I will absolutely fight women. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| I will fight women. | ||
| At Housewife Boxing. | ||
| And swim. | ||
| And then get back on... | ||
| Who do you want to challenge for the intergender championship of the world? | ||
| I think me and Chelsea. | ||
| You and Chelsea? | ||
| Have to do it. | ||
| Because it's not a gimme. | ||
| She's a tough woman. | ||
| She's very mean. | ||
|
unidentified
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She'll come get you. | |
| She's a mean woman. | ||
| She elbowed me in a plane once. | ||
| She didn't even know that she was doing it. | ||
| She was in first class. | ||
| I was walking to coach. | ||
| And she just kind of went like this. | ||
| So I kind of want a rematch. | ||
| I think it would be a good thing for comedy for me to fight her. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Dude, it's almost 7 o'clock. | ||
| Let's wrap this up. | ||
| Wild. | ||
| Thank you again. | ||
| Tim motherfucking Dylan. | ||
| Thank you again. | ||
| Now, I'm sorry I got the show banned from YouTube. | ||
| It was a good last episode for all of us. | ||
| I enjoyed it. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
| Thanks, brother. | ||
| Bye, everybody. | ||
| Oh, tell everybody your Instagram, your Twitter. | ||
| Tim J. Dillon, D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter and the Tim Dillon Show podcast and on YouTube. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Thank you, dude. | ||
| A lot of fun now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was really fun. |
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