Speaker | Time | Text |
---|---|---|
Hello, Bridget. | ||
Hello, Joe. | ||
What's happening? | ||
Nothing. | ||
I'm so excited. | ||
We made it happen. | ||
We did. | ||
We made it real. | ||
Happy Sober October. | ||
This is the first podcast ever where Marshall is in the room. | ||
Oh my gosh, I feel so honored. | ||
We are honored. | ||
This is a special one. | ||
He's just exhausted and I knew he wanted to just lie down next to me. | ||
My dog always comes through the YouTube show, and we're always like, oh, she's going to knock over the lights in the middle, but you see her come in and out in the edits. | ||
Well, when Red Ben and I used to do the podcast back in the day, we used to do it in my office in my house when my kids were really little. | ||
So I'd hear, like, screaming and crying in the background, you know, she took my toy! | ||
Something like that, you know? | ||
So, thanks for doing this. | ||
Thank you. | ||
How's Sober October going? | ||
It's great. | ||
I want to thank you for doing that. | ||
Why's that? | ||
Because it creates a community and it's super cool for people to just have that month of clarity. | ||
I just think it's really cool. | ||
I'm grateful. | ||
It's my sober birthday in October. | ||
How many years? | ||
Six years. | ||
That's a lot. | ||
No, that's insane. | ||
You said weed's the hardest part? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Are you sure you need to be sober from weed? | ||
Yeah, I've tried. | ||
Because here's the thing. | ||
Here's the kind of, you really want to know what kind of addict I am. | ||
I can do it for a while. | ||
So I was in rehab when I was 19 for heroin. | ||
And I started using everything when I was 12, 13 years old. | ||
Well, not everything. | ||
But I mean, I started drinking and smoking weed. | ||
Where'd you grow up? | ||
All over. | ||
I moved every year and a half. | ||
It's a long story. | ||
My whole thing sounds like an improv and like I'm making it all up. | ||
But it was just chaotic upbringing. | ||
But I'm from the East Coast and then I graduated from high school in Minnesota. | ||
So to give you, we just moved a lot. | ||
I went to like 11 schools in 12 years. | ||
So I started drinking really young. | ||
I started smoking weed right around when my parents got divorced. | ||
And then I was pretty much a daily smoker from the day that I found weed. | ||
It was like, ah! | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
Oh my god. | ||
Like 14. I loved it. | ||
So was it a release? | ||
Was it an escape? | ||
Was it just a perturbance of normal consciousness? | ||
You know, my upbringing was kind of chaotic. | ||
And honestly, I think that I owe Weed a debt of gratitude because I don't know that I could have been fully present for what was going on in the house. | ||
And not like killed myself or done something worse. | ||
It was just too much for like a small developing brain to handle. | ||
And we put enough of that nice like fuzzy distance between me and the like chaos. | ||
That's a good name for a band. | ||
unidentified
|
Fuzzy distance. | |
Fuzzy distance. | ||
I'm going to start it. | ||
It's just going to be me alone crying on stage. | ||
God damn, I had no idea. | ||
And so it was good, except then it escalated after I was drugged and raped when I was 18. Oh, Jesus. | ||
Sorry, not to get heavy. | ||
It's part of my story. | ||
It's horrible. | ||
But bad shit, like one of the things that I've had to come to terms with is, you know, I don't blame myself for that happening. | ||
But I do have to take responsibility for the fact that when you're a woman or a girl and you're out getting blacked out, and in this instance, you're around people who are bad, things happen. | ||
That are not good. | ||
It sucks, but if I had daughters, I would be like, watch your fucking drinks, and be careful, and try not to black out, because you don't know what is going to go down. | ||
There are so many people that I know that have been drugged. | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
I know. | ||
The thing about that that's so weird to me, well, A, I try and make light of everything because I have to in order to survive. | ||
unidentified
|
You're a comedian. | |
And I'm from the East Coast. | ||
It's just how I handle shit. | ||
Like, my family's from Rhode Island. | ||
My dad's one of ten. | ||
It was a roast battle growing up, you know? | ||
Like, you either, if you were the sensitive one, they're like, oh, you're gonna cry about it! | ||
You couldn't survive. | ||
You had to just be, like, on top of it. | ||
That is Rhode Island, Boston, Connecticut. | ||
You can't! | ||
You're getting roasted, and you either keep up, or you're like, you're out. | ||
You're the loser in the family. | ||
And you're drinking, too, obviously. | ||
Oh, for sure, heavily. | ||
So, I unfortunately was like, if you're going to do that, use enough to make sure that I don't come to in the middle of it. | ||
Don't be an amateur, bro. | ||
Because I have memories of it and it kind of came too. | ||
So, it was like, I would have preferred just the nothingness of it being launched, like stuck in my subconscious, I think. | ||
So, what was the whole Cosby situation like for you then? | ||
Oh, I wrote a whole thing about it because... | ||
I wrote this piece on Medium, Bill Cosme raped me kind of, because when all that stuff came out, I was like, oh really ladies? | ||
You're going to come forward now? | ||
And I had to stop and evaluate my own cynicism. | ||
And just response to that. | ||
And writing is pretty much how I process everything. | ||
It always has been. | ||
And so I'm like, I'm just going to write about this and see what comes through. | ||
And essentially it was that internalized shame that I had been holding onto. | ||
I was projecting it onto these women. | ||
Because if a bunch of girls from Minnesota came forward and said, this sleazy dude drugged us and raped us back in the... | ||
Yeah, I'm 40. So yeah, it was like the 90s. | ||
I would come forward and support them and support of that if it was the person who did it to me. | ||
I wouldn't be like, come on, ladies, it's a little late for this now. | ||
But that was my kind of gut instinct. | ||
Why do you think that was? | ||
Like I said, I think it's internalized shame. | ||
I think I just... | ||
I had not forgiven the girl in me, the young girl in me who blamed myself. | ||
I didn't tell anyone when it happened. | ||
I woke up and I'm lucky I'm not dead. | ||
I'm lucky I made it to get sober six years ago when I look at how my trajectory was. | ||
And so... | ||
I ended up kind of coming to. | ||
And the weird thing about roofies is that you don't really remember. | ||
So I thanked the guy for having it. | ||
I was like, oh, thanks for letting us crash in this place I didn't even mean to crash at. | ||
And then things started coming back. | ||
And one of my friends, I think something happened to her too. | ||
And it's crazy I'm telling this story just based on what happened last week. | ||
unidentified
|
So... | |
We went to the Apple River, which was this place in Minnesota, and I got blackout drunk for the next five days. | ||
I couldn't handle it. | ||
I felt ashamed because I was drinking underage. | ||
I was working in a restaurant. | ||
I had a lot of older friends. | ||
We were downtown Minneapolis. | ||
I felt super cool. | ||
And my friend and I both have the exact last memory. | ||
And then I have memories of crawling around on the floor and trying to find a phone. | ||
Just bad things. | ||
I always hesitate to tell them, too, because I know there are guys out there like, yeah, tell me more. | ||
Just kidding. | ||
Defensive mechanisms. | ||
And, yeah, so then I just went bananas. | ||
I started doing hard drugs that year. | ||
And you think you did that as a response to that? | ||
Oh, yeah, definitely. | ||
I mean, I think I just was trying. | ||
I was already running from so much. | ||
There had already been my... | ||
And that was like a tipping point? | ||
Yeah, my stepdad was a little crazy. | ||
I don't really publicly talk about it all that often, but it was like, whatever. | ||
Like, crazy stepdad. | ||
I think you can figure things out. | ||
And it was really chaotic, and then that kind of escalated my drug use. | ||
I found hard drugs. | ||
And, like, then I tried speed and meth and I hated it. | ||
Because my brain already races. | ||
I don't need any help with that. | ||
That's rare, though, that somebody doesn't like speed and meth. | ||
unidentified
|
Ugh! | |
I hated it. | ||
Most people don't get on that stuff. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
You got lucky. | ||
I loved heroin. | ||
I didn't get lucky. | ||
Well, heroin is like that maternal womb thing, right? | ||
I think it's also, I don't need stimulation for my brain. | ||
I always wanted relief from this. | ||
Were you snorting it? | ||
What? | ||
Heroin. | ||
Yeah, and smoking it. | ||
Did you ever get to the point of shooting it? | ||
It was right before I quit. | ||
So, once. | ||
And then I was like, I'm going to die, essentially. | ||
Because you realized, like, I've become that person. | ||
I was 89 pounds and 19. I totally had, like, one of those Hallmark movie moments. | ||
I had been out here with a boyfriend, and he had a movie, and we were just... | ||
Like, it was like a Sid and Nancy movie. | ||
I was doing so much blow, I had delusions of... | ||
He had a movie, meaning he was making a movie? | ||
He was in one. | ||
He was in a movie. | ||
And we were out here, and it was just chaos, and we were like... | ||
It was the shit that I did. | ||
How did you get into comedy? | ||
That was not for a while, thank God. | ||
I got dared to do that in 2010, basically. | ||
Really? | ||
So somebody dared me to do it in the comedy stores where I popped my cherry. | ||
It was on one of those bringer shows, and it was an absolute shit show. | ||
Every fucking stereotype that you ever heard, people were doing blow in the green room. | ||
You were in the belly room then. | ||
No, it was on the main stage, but it was one of those, like, me. | ||
It was in, like, the years before the research. | ||
Oh, that's when I was gone. | ||
Yeah, you weren't around. | ||
I was gone from 2007. Yeah. | ||
So you got there in the darkest days. | ||
Oh, it was fucking dark. | ||
They say the darkest days were, like, 2007 to, like, 2012. It was dark. | ||
And then my set went okay enough that I decided I wanted to do it again. | ||
But that was many years after the trajectory. | ||
So long story short, I ended up in rehab at 19. And I was there for seven months. | ||
Seven months? | ||
I was in a halfway house. | ||
So you were arrested? | ||
No, I put myself in a halfway house, but it was like... | ||
How does that work? | ||
Can you put yourself in jail? | ||
No, it's not jail. | ||
Then how come you can put yourself in a halfway house? | ||
Because a halfway house is like that in-between jail. | ||
It's not mandatory. | ||
So they let you put yourself... | ||
They're like, hey, look, I'm fucked up. | ||
You mind if I just hang out here for a while? | ||
I couldn't go home because of my home stuff. | ||
And so I basically, after two weeks, my insurance was up and they're like, okay, you're free to go home. | ||
I'm like, nah, I can't go home. | ||
I'm going to do drugs in like two minutes. | ||
And so... | ||
They let you stay? | ||
No, I took a bus and put myself on general assistance. | ||
And Minnesota, the joke is it's a Minnesota land of 10,000 treatment centers. | ||
It's like a great place to get sober. | ||
And so I put myself on basically welfare. | ||
And then I found a place. | ||
And I'll never forget it. | ||
I called this place and the woman answered and she was like, I was like, hi. | ||
And I had had some guys try to do stuff to me. | ||
So I was looking for an all-woman's place. | ||
And this woman was like, you ever heard of boot camp? | ||
I was like, sounds perfect. | ||
I needed that structure. | ||
I needed something. | ||
And so they, I basically, because I was on welfare, they accepted me. | ||
And it was like me and I was the only white girl. | ||
I was by far the youngest. | ||
It was, it was basically a lot of women just who the judge said, like, go to this program for three months and you won't go to jail. | ||
It was nuts. | ||
Dude, that's an education. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
I mean, I realized what a privileged little spoiled brat I was, that's for sure. | ||
But I also hide behind that, so I never wanted to share anything. | ||
And they're like, it's all relative. | ||
Everyone has their problems. | ||
And I'm like, yeah, but these stories versus mine, they're not... | ||
I feel like I just had too much. | ||
So your stories you couldn't even share. | ||
And then I started sharing them, and they're like, damn, white people are fucked up! | ||
And that was when I learned, it was really an early lesson in all this intersectional bullshit. | ||
It was a very early lesson for me that it doesn't matter. | ||
It does not matter what color your skin is. | ||
When you're an addict or when you're at rock bottom, we're all humans just fucked up trying to get out of our own way. | ||
And so that was an interesting experience. | ||
unidentified
|
And then I got and my car moved to L.A. Well, your fucking Twitter feed is hilarious. | |
You have one of my favorite Twitter feeds. | ||
unidentified
|
Thanks! | |
Wow, that's an honor. | ||
I either like or retweet your shit all the time. | ||
I love... | ||
Well, I was recently in D.C. and somebody... | ||
unidentified
|
They said that, oh, this is Bridget. | |
She's a Twitter celebrity. | ||
And I was like, what the fuck? | ||
I've never wanted to kill myself more. | ||
There's nothing wrong with being a Twitter celebrity. | ||
Marshall's trying to say hi to you. | ||
Hey, buddy. | ||
Hey, buddy. | ||
I didn't even notice he got up. | ||
I'm sorry. | ||
He's my best friend now. | ||
Marshall's everybody's best friend. | ||
How dare you, Marshall? | ||
Yeah, he's a ho. | ||
Yeah, that... | ||
I forgot where we were. | ||
Sorry, you were talking about how... | ||
I got distracted by Marshall. | ||
Intersectional... | ||
Oh! | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hi, Marshall. | ||
Come here. | ||
I just don't want him to get caught on the wires. | ||
No, I know. | ||
He wants to play because I was playing with him. | ||
unidentified
|
Hey, buddy. | |
You can play. | ||
You want to lie down? | ||
Yeah, I just don't want them to get in the way. | ||
So you were saying that you realize that everybody has their problems. | ||
It doesn't matter if you're black or white. | ||
Yeah, I really learned a lot. | ||
Those women, it was run by lesbians. | ||
They taught me some shit that stuck with me my whole life, like cluttered room, cluttered mind. | ||
I loved that one. | ||
It was basically like, they were very strict. | ||
But what happened was I learned how to be a really crafty drug addict. | ||
So I was like, well, as long as my room is clean, I don't have a problem. | ||
Because I came to LA at 19, or 20, I guess. | ||
And this was like 2000. And I started interning at this website called Buddyhead. | ||
It was like this old music website, and they were all punk, and they had the number one gossip site for music in town at the time. | ||
And everybody was obsessed with this website. | ||
I have a feeling Marshall is a distraction here. | ||
He seems like a little bit of a distraction. | ||
He seems a little restless. | ||
Buddy, come here. | ||
Come here, pal. | ||
Come here. | ||
He's so cute, though. | ||
I can't bear to kick him out. | ||
unidentified
|
Say hi to people. | |
Hi! | ||
That, ladies and gentlemen, is the sweetest dog in the world. | ||
Seriously. | ||
You've been asking for him to be on the show forever. | ||
He'll do the rounds. | ||
He'll go to you. | ||
Hi, what are you doing in here? | ||
He'll go to you, he'll get pet, and he'll go to Jamie, he'll get pet. | ||
But I just don't want him to interrupt the conversation. | ||
No. | ||
It's a little bit of a distraction. | ||
That's fine. | ||
I'm all over the place. | ||
And I don't want him to yank any wires out either. | ||
Hey, he's going to Jamie now. | ||
Told you. | ||
Doing the rounds. | ||
That's what he does. | ||
They're such like love sluts. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Goldens are love sponges. | ||
So is my boxer. | ||
She'll go sleep from one bed to another to another. | ||
She gets all the love. | ||
Well, he's not allowed to sleep in beds. | ||
Yeah, that's smart. | ||
But he's very loved. | ||
I've never had a dog like that before. | ||
They're just so different than any other dog I've ever had. | ||
He's just a constant, friendly lover. | ||
He never gets annoyed with you. | ||
He never wants to go lie down. | ||
He's always happy when you say hi to him. | ||
You just start talking. | ||
Pure, unconditional. | ||
Yeah, I mean, it's crazy that those used to be wolves. | ||
I know. | ||
They've turned them into this thing. | ||
I know. | ||
They domesticated themselves! | ||
Sort of. | ||
Didn't they? | ||
Yes. | ||
It wasn't like a mutual thing. | ||
Well, initially, but, you know, there was actually a display going on right now that I went to last weekend at the, what's that science museum in LA? What is it called? | ||
unidentified
|
Science thing? | |
The one downtown? | ||
Yeah, it's downtown. | ||
The one next to the arena, the football arena? | ||
I think it's the California Science Center. | ||
Whatever it is, there's a whole thing on dogs. | ||
Okay. | ||
And it's a whole thing on, there's one of them, it shows how dogs became dogs from wolves. | ||
And the slow process of their ears starting to droop and their noses, their snout starting to droop. | ||
Yeah, shortened. | ||
They became smaller. | ||
And this is something that they didn't realize, I don't think, until the last couple of decades. | ||
For the longest time, they thought that wolves were wolves and dogs were a mixture of wild dogs and cannons and all these different animals. | ||
And then they realized, oh no, these are all wolves. | ||
Wow. | ||
Like a fucking chihuahua is a wolf. | ||
I just have such a hard time. | ||
It's hard to believe. | ||
It doesn't make any sense. | ||
That's like saying a Prius is a car. | ||
A Prius came from a Corvette. | ||
I just can't. | ||
It doesn't make any sense. | ||
That's true, though. | ||
unidentified
|
It is true. | |
They found out that somehow or another human beings manipulated through selective breeding. | ||
They took a wolf and turned it into an English bulldog. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
But I love them. | ||
unidentified
|
It's so strange. | |
Well, that's... | ||
Yeah, I should let him out. | ||
Just let him out. | ||
Because he probably... | ||
He might have to pee or something like that. | ||
And he wants to go talk to... | ||
He's going to the door because he wants to go get love from everybody else, too. | ||
All the security guys. | ||
Fucking cutest dog of all time, though. | ||
He's so cute. | ||
They're so good to have around. | ||
Whenever you feel bad, you just go to him and he just gives you love and kisses. | ||
Their presence is huge for things that are pretty silent for the most part. | ||
When my dog is boarded or whatever, I feel like there's this giant presence that's gone. | ||
You know what it is though? | ||
It's like emotional candy. | ||
Like, you shouldn't have candy all the time. | ||
And you should have people in your life. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Right? | ||
You shouldn't just be one of those fucking weirdo dog people. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Like, I don't even like people. | ||
unidentified
|
I just like dogs. | |
I just like candy. | ||
I don't even like food. | ||
Fuck vitamins. | ||
They're just eating candy. | ||
You know, there's people that are like that. | ||
Oh, I don't go to dog parks because of that. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
Oh, that's so true, right? | ||
The dog park scene in LA is psychotic. | ||
And there's always someone with a dog that can't control. | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
That's been me before, too. | ||
One of my dogs, one of my pit bulls, was a puppy. | ||
He was like five months old, maybe six. | ||
I would open up the door. | ||
He would run to find the first dog he could find and bite him in the face. | ||
I'd be like, what? | ||
What the fuck, bro? | ||
I had never had a dog like that before. | ||
I didn't know how to handle it. | ||
I didn't know that, like, okay, you can't, this is a male dog with his balls, and he's five, six months old. | ||
You literally can't bring him around with dogs unless you, like, have him rigorously trained. | ||
Yeah, and it needs to be rigorous, like, shot collar. | ||
Well, someone, yeah, and someone has to show you how to do it correctly. | ||
Yeah, after seeing two attacks in a dog park, I was like, okay, I'm out. | ||
Fuck that. | ||
People bring fucking crazy dogs at dog parks. | ||
Yeah, and I treat my dog, I mean, there's some leniency, but I'm very much like, it's a dog. | ||
I'm not one of the like, let's trust it in sweaters and have a birthday party for it. | ||
I'm like, no, no. | ||
We're not having a birthday party for my dog. | ||
Birthday party. | ||
We're not putting any kind of Halloween costume on this patch. | ||
No, my kids do all that shit to Marshall. | ||
They do all that shit to him. | ||
You know, they dressed him up like a fish the other day. | ||
They got him a fish costume. | ||
I'm like, look, he's a fish. | ||
I'm like, no, he's a fucking dog with a crazy... | ||
He's like, I can't move! | ||
This weird outfit on. | ||
So, you were talking about Minnesota, and you're talking about being in rehab. | ||
Oh, then I moved here. | ||
Then you moved here. | ||
Yeah, and then I went back east... | ||
And then I was in the restaurant industry for a long time. | ||
So basically I was in rehab and then I left rehab. | ||
When did you start writing? | ||
I always wrote. | ||
You always wrote. | ||
Did you always publish things? | ||
unidentified
|
No, I didn't know that you were getting paid to do it. | |
You were just writing for self-expression? | ||
I started writing, I mean, my journal, holy shit, from that first rehab. | ||
Have you ever seen that movie Seven? | ||
Yes. | ||
Where he was like, that's what my journal is like. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
That movie still fucks with my head. | ||
Like, why am I still single? | ||
That movie still fucks with my head. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I saw it in a theater and I remember driving home thinking I was gonna get murdered. | ||
That was Kevin Spacey. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm just realizing that now. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Boy, the fuck. | |
Being creepy as fuck. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But one of his most brilliant roles. | ||
Well, American Beauty was another one. | ||
Creepy as fuck, but one of his most brilliant roles. | ||
I think that... | ||
I think... | ||
God, I hate saying this. | ||
You think one has deserved it? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
I don't think, I wonder how fucked up you have to be as a human to be able to play someone that fucked up. | ||
I know, I know. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
To go to that place? | ||
Yeah, I mean, not just to go to that place, but you fucking believed it hook, line, and sink. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Okay, like the Joker, Joaquin Phoenix, I fucking believed it. | ||
I haven't seen the edge. | ||
Spoiler alert. | ||
I know. | ||
No, it's fine. | ||
It's been two weeks. | ||
I know. | ||
Well, I'm not going to spoiler alert. | ||
It was a dark week for me. | ||
I couldn't go see it. | ||
I wasn't emotionally strong enough. | ||
You get dark weeks? | ||
Well, just because of some shit that happened that was crazy that triggered all the stuff that we started this conversation as. | ||
Oh, when you had the conversation with that girl? | ||
No, it was crazy. | ||
PTSD is real. | ||
I hate that the word triggered has been destroyed. | ||
Like, it's been destroyed, because it does, when you have had trauma, and there's a brilliant book, The Body Keeps the Score, and he talks about how it lives in your body, basically. | ||
And he worked with vets. | ||
And, you know, it's crazy. | ||
Like, in this book, I've been rereading it again. | ||
And he's talking about how when he was writing to get some from the VA to get, like, a grant to study PTSD, they were like, no, we don't even really think it. | ||
It wasn't even part of their profile, which is crazy to think now. | ||
PTSD wasn't part of their profile. | ||
It wasn't even, like, a thing. | ||
It was a brand. | ||
Well, it used to be shell shock. | ||
It was, yeah. | ||
My grandpa. | ||
I mean, I have all my grandpa's. | ||
I should have brought some. | ||
All my grandpa's letters from World War II. | ||
I mean, that guy. | ||
He would be getting bombed, basically, getting underway every single day for months. | ||
And he's like, the most striking thing to me is how he's like, I don't want to feel sorry for myself. | ||
I know nobody would want me to feel any self-pity. | ||
I'm like, we live in the biggest pussy generation of the entire, we live in just the whiniest culture. | ||
He's literally at war and he's like, I'd hate to be whining. | ||
I'm like, Don't you think that the reason why we have such a whiny culture is because things are so safe relatively? | ||
Yeah, I do. | ||
Definitely. | ||
Because the people that are complaining, for the most part, the people that are egregiously complaining, they don't have real issues. | ||
It's just so weird. | ||
I always see this, like, I am fighting for my life. | ||
I'm like, no, you're not. | ||
You're on fucking your couch getting Postmates. | ||
Like, Your story, when you tell your story, that's one of the stories that legitimately makes you sit back and go, holy shit, those stories nobody gets upset at. | ||
You know what I'm saying? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
I don't mean they don't get upset that it happened to you. | ||
I mean they don't get upset at you expressing this like it's some horrible, disastrous event in your life because it clearly is. | ||
Well, yeah. | ||
And that's why I hate that the word triggered has been so destroyed. | ||
Because it is a thing that people have to... | ||
So in this recent... | ||
This girl is my hero. | ||
In this recent thing that happened, it was like this person walked into a situation and she looked distraught. | ||
And long story short, we ended up at a rape trauma center together. | ||
unidentified
|
When you said she walked into a situation, you mean... | |
It's hard to... | ||
She gave me permission to talk about this if it came up, and so I'm okay with it. | ||
Just don't say her name. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
And I'm not telling her story, no details of hers. | ||
So I was in a 12-step meeting, and she kind of walked in and looked distraught. | ||
And I'm not one of those girls that's like, hey, welcome! | ||
It's not... | ||
Like, leaving the fuck alone. | ||
But I saw the look. | ||
This is where I might actually cry. | ||
I recognized that look. | ||
It wasn't like I'm having a bad day in sobriety. | ||
It was like something happened. | ||
And I just made a beeline for her. | ||
And I was like, are you okay? | ||
And she was like, no, I'm not. | ||
And she said, like, something bad happened to me, and we left that there, and then we went out onto a bench, and I was like, how old are you? | ||
And she's like, I'm 19 and young, you know? | ||
And I was like, she told me what happened, and something bad had happened the night before, and I was like, well... | ||
And I told her, I shared with her, I was like, that same thing happened to me at your age, and I was like... | ||
And she's like, what? | ||
That look of relief that somebody could understand. | ||
And she's like, what do I do? | ||
And I'm like, well, I know what not to do, and it's nothing. | ||
And I'm telling you, it was like, that girl is so brave. | ||
I'm like, what compelled you to even walk into the meeting? | ||
I wasn't even going to go to that meeting. | ||
And then... | ||
When we ended up in that center, the counselor was so amazing. | ||
The nurse was so amazing. | ||
It was like a warm blanket of love was just wrapped around her. | ||
Was she in sobriety? | ||
It's not really my story to tell. | ||
She was fucked up. | ||
It wasn't dead sober. | ||
It was basically my story that she was telling. | ||
So it triggered like all, it was weird to hear my story as she's relaying it and I'm having like flashbacks. | ||
So last week I was like, I haven't really told anyone I'm even gonna like talk to you or anything because some of my friend was like, so what have you been doing to like get ready? | ||
unidentified
|
I'm like, well, I've been crying a lot and eating a lot of cake and like, To get ready to talk here? | |
Just because they're like, yeah, it's just Joe in a conversation, but I think people think it's like a, you know. | ||
For some people it is. | ||
unidentified
|
It is. | |
Well, things get weird with people when there's an event coming. | ||
Yeah, well, and it was my anniversary of six years, which always is like, oh. | ||
When did that happen? | ||
That was Friday. | ||
Oh. | ||
So, you know, it was amazingly healing, like, too, to be able to just... | ||
It was one of those moments where there's... | ||
Where something bad that happened to me, I was like, oh, suddenly this has meaning. | ||
I can use this to help someone else. | ||
I interviewed this really brilliant woman who escaped from a million things, and her whole thing is like, what good is our freedom if we can't use it to liberate somebody else? | ||
Circling back to World War II and this generation, Ayaan Hirshali says that basically this generation is like, they're like trust fund babies with freedom. | ||
Because they're so far removed from having to fight for freedom that they just take it for granted. | ||
That's an interesting way of describing it. | ||
Trust fund babies with freedom. | ||
Ayaan, she's just brilliant. | ||
She is brilliant. | ||
That's a great way to look at it too, but it's very hard for people. | ||
Without struggle, I think people don't know what to do. | ||
And they create problems that don't exist. | ||
It's a very common thing. | ||
I think human beings are designed to deal with so many different problems that could come up in your environment, whether it's physical threats, danger. | ||
All these different things. | ||
Community. | ||
All these different things that you're designed to handle. | ||
And when those things aren't there, your brain and your body starts to manufacture things. | ||
A lot of people that you see that create drama online. | ||
There's so many people that I follow secretly. | ||
This is what I do. | ||
I bookmark their Twitter page and then I go to it. | ||
Just when I need, like, a dose of madness. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And there's YouTube videos like that as well, and, you know, there used to be blogs you could go and read where people would just, obviously, they're real life. | ||
Is so meaningless that they're seeking all of this drama online. | ||
They're seeking this distraction online. | ||
And there's people that I follow that are involved in arguments 12, 14 hours a day. | ||
I know. | ||
And I can relate, okay? | ||
I truly can relate because I've been mad. | ||
Madness, like crazy. | ||
I've been crazy before. | ||
And I'm still definitely a little crazy. | ||
But I get it now. | ||
I know what it is that makes me crazy. | ||
unidentified
|
Do you go to therapy? | |
No. | ||
Oh. | ||
No. | ||
How do you know? | ||
How did you figure out you were crazy? | ||
Like, how did you self-reflect, I guess? | ||
I think. | ||
I think a lot. | ||
I'm honest with myself. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Isolation tank. | ||
Mm-hmm. | ||
Drugs. | ||
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
The drugs that have helped me, like psychedelic drugs. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Those are the... | ||
Whatever you tell your therapist, you could lie to your therapist. | ||
You can't lie to mushrooms. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Mushrooms, you go, what, bitch? | ||
Look at this! | ||
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
Yeah, yeah. | ||
It'll show you everything. | ||
DMT, too. | ||
Yeah, and edible pot. | ||
All those different things. | ||
All those different things will show you all the real problems that you have. | ||
But I know what these people are doing. | ||
I know that people get caught in cycles of creating bullshit. | ||
And then they get in cycles of festering. | ||
You know Jamie Kilstein? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | ||
Jamie is a reformed super social justice warrior. | ||
One of the things that Jamie told me was that he would say something about someone. | ||
Like, this guy's a Nazi and a piece of shit. | ||
He would say it on Twitter and then he would be glued to his phone looking at every response. | ||
Every response that came in on Twitter and he'd be reacting to it or freaking out or angry or getting love from it. | ||
Getting anxiety from him and people would turn on him and be like, no! | ||
And then he would fucking fuck you and go back at him. | ||
And it's just like this thing where you're trapped in it. | ||
You're trapped in it all day. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Faisal and I were talking about this, the kid from Iraq who was on my podcast. | ||
And he was... | ||
I was like, it's so weird. | ||
And... | ||
You know, in all those dystopian books, there was this wreckage everywhere, and then you plug in to get to a better place. | ||
And I feel like when I unplug, it's like a Disney movie. | ||
I'm like... | ||
And then I plug in, and it's like chaos and more. | ||
I don't want a flip phone. | ||
I don't want a flip phone, but I get it. | ||
I want one. | ||
But I get it. | ||
I know, I know, I know. | ||
I like taking pictures of things, and I like having the option, but I've done much better over the last six months of being way more disciplined with my time. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
You know, like, sometimes I'll have... | ||
I go, I want to check my phone. | ||
And I go, don't. | ||
Don't do it. | ||
So I'm, like, giving myself advice. | ||
Like, the same way I've become my own therapist. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I give myself advice on, don't just randomly just start reading Google stories. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
You know, I go, I'll look for information. | ||
I'm like, there must be something going on. | ||
But some of the funniest things that you do, like, my favorite of your routines are your rabbit holes. | ||
When you take us... | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Through your internet rabbit holes. | ||
Those are like my favorite bits that you do. | ||
Like the vegan cat? | ||
Yeah, because I can identify so much with that. | ||
And I always joke like, I know I'm in trouble when it's like, maybe 9-11 was an inside job again. | ||
Because all roads lead to 9-11 was an inside job on the internet. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes, all roads lead to Tower 7. Every single one. | |
If you're finding yourself like, hmm, what did happen there? | ||
You're like, okay, get off. | ||
Well, the problem is, no matter what the subject is, even if it's completely ridiculous, you can find someone with a compelling argument that it makes sense. | ||
And then you watch a YouTube video. | ||
And the problem with YouTube videos is, too, there's no one standing there going... | ||
That didn't happen. | ||
That's not what he said. | ||
That's not real. | ||
No, no, no, no, no. | ||
Architects and engineers, 9-11, truth is not all the architects. | ||
Hold on. | ||
Hold on. | ||
Let's get a real structural engineer. | ||
Hold on. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
You're missing 30 seconds of that video where the center of the building collapsed. | ||
Hold on. | ||
That happened minutes before. | ||
Hold on. | ||
That's when the beams were cut during the demolition of the building. | ||
That's not what happened. | ||
You need all that. | ||
You need the fact-checking. | ||
unidentified
|
It's so hard. | |
You don't. | ||
Because you get a flat earth video. | ||
You'll start watching those motherfuckers. | ||
You're like, what? | ||
Is this real? | ||
Are we really on a... | ||
We're on a disc? | ||
I watched that like Zeitgeist movie or whatever. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, yes! | |
I'm like, hmm, there's some good points and there's nothing... | ||
Well, Zeitgeist is not... | ||
That's Peter Joseph's movie. | ||
That's not completely preposterous. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, no. | |
That's a very good movie. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
But it's not... | ||
There's... | ||
I think anytime... | ||
Like, if someone wanted to write a blog on you, like, this is Bridget. | ||
This is Bridget Phetasy. | ||
There's not... | ||
There's just one voice. | ||
That's not you. | ||
That's someone writing about you. | ||
If you were there, you'd be like, well, that's not entirely true. | ||
And, yeah, I'm like that sometimes, but 99% of the time, I'm not like that. | ||
I can't... | ||
Cherry pick the worst aspects of me and write a blog about, right? | ||
You'd be able to say that. | ||
But people do that. | ||
Yeah, they do do that. | ||
But it's not real. | ||
No, it's not. | ||
And that's the problem with someone writing a blog about you or making a YouTube video about you or even tweeting about you. | ||
If they went on a tweet storm. | ||
You know, I read Bridget's Twitter feed and she's a fucking rancid cunt and this is all the problems with her. | ||
Why do they do that? | ||
I mean, it's interesting, too, because you are very public. | ||
I am very public. | ||
There's a lot of material for people to draw from, but still, they don't see me cleaning up my dog's shit in the backyard. | ||
That's me. | ||
Well, you are you. | ||
You're the whole of you. | ||
Yeah, the whole. | ||
Whenever someone tries to... | ||
Like, you know, I have friends that have done stupid shit, and someone said, that guy's a piece of shit. | ||
I'm like, no, he's not. | ||
He did a piece of shit thing one time. | ||
Like, who hasn't? | ||
Who among us? | ||
Yeah, don't tell me he's not a good guy. | ||
I haven't known him for fucking 20 years. | ||
I love him to death. | ||
Like, people are not a thing, a one thing. | ||
There are a bunch of things, and the problem with, like, some, like, internet interaction is so incredibly limited, because whether it's through Twitter feeds or blog posts or whatever it is, it's a shit way to To get the whole picture across. | ||
Especially when you're defining a person. | ||
Or discussing a subject. | ||
It's a good way to get your thoughts across at that very moment. | ||
But if you want to tell me that vaccines cause all these fucking horrible diseases. | ||
And I'm like, okay, hold up. | ||
Stop. | ||
unidentified
|
Stop. | |
Let's get some scientists in here. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Let's get some people. | ||
Let's have a fucking four hour discussion about this. | ||
And let's bring up peer reviewed studies. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Let's find out what the fuck is going on. | ||
You know, can veganism really cure diabetes and cancer? | ||
And is all that shit really caused by meat? | ||
Well, hold on! | ||
Let's get some scientists in here. | ||
Let's talk to people that have actually reviewed the data. | ||
Because there's so many goddamn documentaries and so many goddamn videos that tell you. | ||
You can find anything to confirm anything you want to believe. | ||
That's the craziest thing. | ||
And there's no check on that belief. | ||
It is truly confirmation bias. | ||
You're like, here's what I believe and now I'm going to seek out things to confirm that. | ||
You should be seeking out things to debunk that belief. | ||
Yes. | ||
If you're trying to be intellectually honest. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
But most people, it's not even really in our wiring to want to do that. | ||
We just want to be right. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
We want to be... | ||
No, I have some friends that believe every fucking conspiracy theory that comes on the pipe. | ||
And conspiracy theories are fun. | ||
I always send them debunking things. | ||
They get mad at me. | ||
You're like, no, that's not... | ||
But it's so easy to go down that... | ||
It is a weird... | ||
We all kind of become like two-dimensional abstractions online. | ||
So I had friends that I waited tables with. | ||
And then what happened to me kind of getting caught in the crossfire of the culture wars is that I just noticed I wasn't saying things that I wanted to say. | ||
And I was like, why aren't I tweeting these things? | ||
It was weird to me. | ||
I'm like, huh, that's weird. | ||
Why am I self-censoring? | ||
And then I realized because it was, and then once I started saying those things, I was like, oh, this is why I'm not saying those things. | ||
Yeah, you don't want to get in the war. | ||
But I didn't even know the war was going on. | ||
The war's always going on. | ||
I was an idiot. | ||
I was drunk and waitressing, and I put my head up in 2015 and was like, there's a war? | ||
When people are expressing controversial opinions, there's always a war. | ||
And you know, on the flip side of it, there's certain people that want to believe the official story about everything, and they're just as annoying as the people that want to believe every conspiracy. | ||
I was not aware that the war included controversial opinions like boys and girls are different. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
I didn't know that the thing had gone, the war had new rules. | ||
And Michael Malice always gives me shit. | ||
Like, when I was on his podcast, because I've been doing all this, when you start kind of speaking out against the left, you end up on right-wing media. | ||
Because they're the only people who will have a conversation with you. | ||
Isn't that crazy now? | ||
Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
So I go on Glenn Beck and I'm like, did you know that the left has different rules for themselves? | ||
And he's like, yeah, no shit. | ||
Yeah, we knew that. | ||
We've been aware of this. | ||
unidentified
|
And I'm just like this moron who's like, can you believe these double standards? | |
Deeply entrenched in that culture war. | ||
You wouldn't understand how far it's gone. | ||
And I was like literally just getting high, waiting tables, trying to make jokes, trying to maybe get some of that TV money, sell a show, and like trying to pay my bills every single month. | ||
This past February is the first time since I was 17 that I knew how I was going to pay two months of bills. | ||
Like that's a long time to be. | ||
Congratulations. | ||
Thank you. | ||
Yeah, I have some friends that are blissfully unaware, and occasionally I'll send them things. | ||
Like, I have a friend of mine, and I was sending this article about all these different track and field events that are being won by men now. | ||
Oh, God, and they have no idea. | ||
Men who identify as women. | ||
Not only that, men that identify as women, but do you know that in some places you don't even have to take hormones? | ||
All you have to do is identify. | ||
Oh, no way! | ||
Oh, yes way. | ||
That's crazy! | ||
Particularly high school kids. | ||
You can't force them to take hormones. | ||
All they have to do is identify as a woman. | ||
It's different everywhere, because no one knows what the fuck is going on. | ||
So there's all these different rules everywhere you go. | ||
I was getting my eyebrows done, and the woman who does my eyebrows is Vietnamese, and she was telling me that her kids got their ears pierced. | ||
And she's like, oh, I went, and the kids, they got their ears pierced, and my daughter, who's not 16 yet, wanted one in the top of her earlobe. | ||
And the guy was like, oh no, she has to be 16 to do that. | ||
And I was like, yet she can take hormones? | ||
Like... | ||
The youngest of kids. | ||
I was like, this is the stupidest state ever! | ||
I was reading an article about this guy who's losing custody of his son because he wouldn't let his son transition at six. | ||
His son went to his wife And the wife and him split up, and the wife wanted to chemically castrate the boy and give him hormone blockers because she had decided that the boy was a girl. | ||
Whether or not the boy had decided it or not, still, we're talking about a young, young kid. | ||
And the guy was being ordered by the state that he had to refer to the boy... | ||
I don't believe it was California. | ||
He had to refer to the boy as a girl... | ||
And he had to, and he was gonna have only supervised custody now because he wasn't referring to, he was not allowed to misgender his son. | ||
His son was no longer a son. | ||
His son was now a girl. | ||
Well, here's the thing about all that shit. | ||
It's like no one wants to fight against the mob of the left, but no one, there's no established science on any of this stuff and everyone's different. | ||
I mean, are there people that are trans? | ||
Yeah, for sure. | ||
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
Are there young people that know that they're a girl from the time that they're young and they're trapped in a boy's body? | ||
There's so many of them that say they are. | ||
I would be an asshole to deny that. | ||
Right. | ||
But... | ||
What do we know about this? | ||
How much do we know about this? | ||
And how much should we interfere with their hormonal development? | ||
Well, it's so important to brain functioning, isn't it? | ||
Not just that. | ||
And brain development. | ||
A lot of them become gay men. | ||
If you leave them alone, they just become gay men. | ||
You know, I've seen this online. | ||
There's a lot of pushback from some communities saying that it's very anti-woman and homophobic. | ||
That a lot of these things are kind of... | ||
What's anti-woman is the competition. | ||
Well, that and also just like I can't, you know, sometimes you'll see examples of women can't talk about their periods or something because it makes like a trans woman feel bad. | ||
Or if you, you know, so there's this erasure of like me being able to talk about something because it's like, that's weird to me too. | ||
I should be able to talk about my experience as a woman. | ||
No, you can't. | ||
You're ruining the experience for trans people. | ||
But see that... | ||
Stop. | ||
It's all about compliance. | ||
I mean, that's what most of this is about. | ||
All these nutbags that are tweeting. | ||
The ones that I follow that are tweeting 12 hours a day. | ||
It's about compliance. | ||
I mean, most of what they're doing is trying to get... | ||
There's one that I tweeted the other day... | ||
Over and over and over again, in all caps, she wrote, any gender can have their period. | ||
Any gender can have their period. | ||
Yeah, no, I'm not playing this game. | ||
This is where I draw the line. | ||
I know that we just got demonetized, but... | ||
No, we're demonetized as fuck. | ||
As soon as I said cunt, it was over. | ||
Oh... | ||
I'm not... | ||
I can't... | ||
That's the thing. | ||
I'm like, do whatever you fucking want. | ||
I wanted to be a turtle when I was like six. | ||
A real turtle or a ninja turtle? | ||
A real turtle. | ||
Like live in the super turtle? | ||
No, not all turtles live in sewers. | ||
unidentified
|
I wanted to be like a sea turtle. | |
A ninja turtle. | ||
No, I wanted to be like a turtle in the Bahamas. | ||
I didn't even know there was a difference between a turtle and a tortoise until I was 30. Oh, I know. | ||
I don't think I was aware of that. | ||
I thought it was just a different name for turtles. | ||
There's so much we don't know. | ||
A ground turtle and a water turtle. | ||
They're all fucking turtles. | ||
I don't know anything, really. | ||
And so that's the beauty. | ||
Which ones lived like hundreds of years? | ||
unidentified
|
Tortoise? | |
Or sea turtles do too, though. | ||
Oh, I think so. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But there's tortoises in Joshua Tree. | ||
Oh, yeah, right? | ||
Do you ever run into one? | ||
Yeah, they're tortoises. | ||
You know what they're there for? | ||
I want to be a ranger in Joshua Tree. | ||
They're there for when you're tripping. | ||
That's why they're there. | ||
You're like, what the fuck? | ||
God put them there. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's like nature's little artifact. | |
It's an artifact. | ||
So when you're tripping, you can... | ||
How many people have tripped in Joshua Tree versus not tripped in Joshua Tree? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
I bet it's like 30, 70. Okay. | ||
Trip versus not trip. | ||
I feel like I go enough to kind of offset. | ||
I go sober a lot now. | ||
Like once a quarter. | ||
So I'm offsetting those numbers. | ||
Do you ever do anything like isolation tank? | ||
Do you ever do that? | ||
I've always wanted to. | ||
We'll have one here if you want to do it. | ||
Yeah, I do. | ||
I've always wanted to do that. | ||
I want to kind of go back and say I don't want to disparage therapy. | ||
I think it does help a lot of people. | ||
It definitely has helped me. | ||
I think therapy is like comedy. | ||
There's good therapy and there's terrible therapy. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
And by the way, certain personality types really are kind of untreatable. | ||
So if you have narcissistic personality disorder, my therapist is like, the dirty secret is we'll kind of pass them off to someone else or something because once you realize somebody can't see they're wrong, they won't really... | ||
Well, I talked to a therapist about that and they said some therapy doesn't work because all these people are really there for us to talk about themselves. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
My therapist kind of calls me out on shit. | ||
So I like her. | ||
My friends who have overheard us because we FaceTime, because she's a holdover from the East Coast, they're like, it sounds like she's your friend and she's being kind of hard on you. | ||
But I need that. | ||
I need somebody who's going to... | ||
I don't necessarily always... | ||
It was interesting. | ||
I just learned this past week that when you've had trauma, one of the kind of byproducts is that not only do you not trust people, but you don't trust yourself. | ||
And I was like, oh, I didn't know this! | ||
You put yourself in a bad situation, right? | ||
So you don't trust your own judgment. | ||
And often, like, your reaction to it. | ||
So my reaction to what happened to me was very... | ||
I mean, yes, I was young and I can forgive myself for that, but it was to... | ||
I was, like, hypersexual after that. | ||
You know, I... And then I recently, last week, had this moment where I was like, oh, God, all the, like, men that just didn't deserve me. | ||
And this is one of the... | ||
I mean, it really was like I felt like I was re-virginized or something. | ||
I don't know what happened, but I suddenly was like, wow, I don't... | ||
I suddenly have self-worth. | ||
It redefines intimacy for you, too, right? | ||
Well, this is one of the, you know, where I'm squishy. | ||
I'm squishy on a lot of things, and I think feminism is really important, and to, like, shit on it is... | ||
There are women who died and got jailed for the right to vote, so that doesn't sit well with me. | ||
But some of the excesses of feminism and of the, in particular, sexual liberation, is that I was told sex is empowering, and it's not fucking empowering if you're not empowered already. | ||
Like... | ||
In my experience... | ||
You were told sex is empowering as a part of feminism? | ||
Well, it's kind of the messaging. | ||
It's like, you know, women can have sex too. | ||
And just like, it's an empowering thing. | ||
But isn't it more of an anti-shame thing? | ||
Because women are shamed for their feelings and their passion. | ||
Yeah, and I think that's why I think that I understand it. | ||
I understand why that would be the... | ||
But I feel like what got lost is that sex is very intimate. | ||
And for years, I was like, intimacy is so creepy. | ||
I just... | ||
I couldn't make eye contact? | ||
No. | ||
No, we're not doing that. | ||
That's not happening. | ||
And it's... | ||
I just... | ||
Yeah. | ||
Get in the back. | ||
Get in the back. | ||
I just didn't have that... | ||
I don't know. | ||
I miss the memo that it should be something... | ||
I was taught that it was... | ||
You know, like to kind of withhold because then a man won't respect you, which feels a little bit transactional. | ||
So there's that messaging. | ||
And then there's messaging of like, free the nipple and be empowered. | ||
And like, you can have sex with whoever you want. | ||
But if you have trauma, and you're not really great on the self esteem department, and then you start trying to sleep your way to empowerment, it's In my experience, for me, it created a lot more shame and a vicious cycle that was very connected to addiction for me, too. | ||
Sleeping your way to empowerment is a funny concept. | ||
Suck and fuck your way to enlightenment. | ||
I mean, I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater and I know I can already, I can, you know, the problem with my brain is that I can, I'm always like contradicting myself. | ||
So I can. | ||
That's because life is complicated. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And there's not, it's not binary. | ||
Like sex is good or sex is bad. | ||
Like there's different situations where it's good and different situations where it's terrible for you. | ||
Yeah, and it's just the whole weird writing for Playboy. | ||
So you asked me when I started writing. | ||
I always wrote. | ||
I wrote that piece, Bill Cosby Rate Me Kind Of. | ||
That's a great title. | ||
Thank you. | ||
And then I ended up... | ||
Twitter was really how I got every connection in the writing world. | ||
Somebody hooked me up with an editor from Playboy, and there was this piece going around... | ||
That was like, why I don't suck dick. | ||
And I'm like, well, someone needs to stick up for sucking dick, and that person needs to be me. | ||
And so I pitched to Playboy in defense of why I love giving blowjobs, basically. | ||
And I didn't know, again, because I'm like a child of the 90s who was just high, I didn't get the memo that now a lot of that is seen as internalizing the patriarchy. | ||
What? | ||
unidentified
|
Wait a minute. | |
What is? | ||
Literally. | ||
What about eating pussy? | ||
What is that? | ||
Not eating pussy. | ||
Sucking dick. | ||
But how does that work? | ||
Oh, that's okay. | ||
But it's only okay- Sucking dick is internalized in the patriarchy because you take it into your body? | ||
Well, no. | ||
The whole point of why I don't suck dick is that it's a degrading experience, which it can feel that way. | ||
Everything can feel degraded. | ||
Right, and it's not this or that. | ||
Sexuality is so fucking complicated. | ||
That's why I loved writing for Playboy, because it is everything. | ||
It is shame and fear and intimacy and love and passion and all of it. | ||
It all happens in sex and in those... | ||
Messy relationships and the whole consent culture thing, which again, they're good things that come of it, but then there's another part of it where I'm like, how are we going to hack something as awkward as sexuality, especially when you're in your... | ||
Hormones in your... | ||
Once again, it comes down to compliance. | ||
That's what the whole consent culture is about. | ||
I mean, look, consent is imperative. | ||
It's important. | ||
It's everything. | ||
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
You don't want anybody doing anything without your consent. | ||
However, this idea that you should ask for consent before every single step of the way. | ||
Can I touch your left leg? | ||
Yes. | ||
Can I touch your ass? | ||
No, not yet. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
You ever see that video? | ||
No. | ||
It's a great video. | ||
It was like teaching consent. | ||
Consent can be hot. | ||
And it's like this guy and this girl kissing. | ||
And the guy's like, can I kiss you? | ||
She's like, yes. | ||
Can I touch your shoulder? | ||
Yes. | ||
And he has to say it every step of the way. | ||
But it's always the guy. | ||
But it's explicit, too. | ||
But it's always the guy. | ||
The girl's neck. | ||
Can I suck your dick? | ||
Of course! | ||
You don't have to ask questions. | ||
The idea that the girl has to ask is ridiculous, right? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
So if you have a video where the girl's asking the guy, everybody's like, what the fuck is this? | ||
What is this? | ||
What is she, a sex robot? | ||
She's asking if she can fuck you? | ||
That is crazy. | ||
Can you put it inside me? | ||
Yeah. | ||
No one does that. | ||
Has anybody ever said that ever? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Asking the guy for consent is... | ||
One of the most ridiculous ideas ever. | ||
If you're making out, that's consent. | ||
Well, and this is the difference between explicit and implicit. | ||
And there's so much consent that occurs, it's implicit. | ||
And that's some of the sexiest stuff. | ||
Right, you don't have to talk about it. | ||
Yeah, and it's learning to read that body language and read the like, eh, she's, you know. | ||
People that want compliance. | ||
That's what it is. | ||
But who are these people? | ||
Crazy people that have no life and they're on Twitter all day. | ||
It's a power trip thing. | ||
What they're trying to do is get people to bend their behavior and change it to their will. | ||
But why? | ||
Because they're nuts. | ||
Because they enjoy power tripping. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Like, why are people saying, stop using guys? | ||
Stop saying guys. | ||
Stop using gendered language. | ||
You ever see that video? | ||
Which one? | ||
Where they're speaking in front of the socialists. | ||
Oh, I was going to say that to you. | ||
Point of personal privilege. | ||
unidentified
|
Point of personal privilege. | |
Yeah, I made fun of it on Dumpster Fire. | ||
That fucking video is amazing. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
But when the guys can just stop with the chatter because I have a really hard time paying attention. | ||
Yeah, it's like the like... | ||
Jazz hands. | ||
And then the guy who's like the trans woman gets up and says, please stop saying guys! | ||
Stop using gendered language! | ||
Like, oh my god, we're in a movie! | ||
No, it's insane. | ||
Reality has become parody. | ||
I was watching, someone was saying like, please stop using the masculine, and it had like thousands of retweets, and it was like, please stop using male and female. | ||
The binary needs, I'm like, no! | ||
unidentified
|
No! | |
Well, you know Todd Phillips, who directed The Joker, one of the things that he said, and he was talking about it, he said he's really difficult right now to do comedy. | ||
Right. | ||
He's doing an interview. | ||
They're like, why are you doing this really dark superhero movie, this dark action movie? | ||
He's like, wow, it's fucking hard to do comedy these days. | ||
You know, you guys don't understand that this and that. | ||
So he used the term you guys. | ||
And one of the reporters that criticized it was calling, you know, say Todd Phillips is a piece of shit. | ||
And look how he uses the term guys. | ||
Why? | ||
One of the main points this person made was that he was using the term you guys. | ||
unidentified
|
Because everything is a patriarchy? | |
It's gendered language. | ||
I know, it's fucking stupid as shit. | ||
But it's also just like language. | ||
Yes. | ||
Well, women use it all the time. | ||
I use it all the time. | ||
I use retard all the time. | ||
I know, it's not good. | ||
It's not good. | ||
But it's not bad. | ||
Here's the thing about it. | ||
It's fun being on the East Coast, though. | ||
It is, but it's also, it has nothing to do with the disease. | ||
This is what the problem is. | ||
It has to do with people literally being retarded. | ||
Like slow. | ||
Like slowing down the progress. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, I know. | |
Like a person who thinks the earth is flat. | ||
That is a retarded way of looking at the world. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And if you make videos about it, you're slowing down scientific progress if people get caught up in your rabbit hole. | ||
I'm glad that we're mutually going to be canceled together. | ||
No. | ||
I'm hoping to get canceled. | ||
You keep trying. | ||
I'm trying. | ||
So you're like South Park. | ||
Well, this is what I think. | ||
I think what's going on right now is this chaotic period of adjustment to our ability to communicate with each other openly and across the board and in this weird way through social media. | ||
Why are we responsible for everyone's feelings? | ||
We are not. | ||
But this is the world we live in. | ||
You are responsible by your language and jokes that you tell. | ||
If your jokes are offensive, you are responsible for literally every person's feelings in the audience. | ||
Not necessarily. | ||
Bridget, here's the thing. | ||
It's such a small number of people. | ||
And they're so loud. | ||
This is what we saw with the Chappelle special. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Right? | |
Right, right, right. | ||
The Rotten Tomatoes. | ||
Reviewed by Rotten Tomatoes. | ||
They decided for whatever fucking goofy reason to make it reviewed by five super woke critics. | ||
They gave it a 0%. | ||
They open it up to the public. | ||
It gets a 100% rating. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
100%. | ||
They're like, thank God! | ||
Like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
Everybody else says it's awesome and they're gonna like it more because they don't like you assholes that say it's 0%. | ||
Well, and the critical theory guys, you know, like James Lindsay, you've had them on. | ||
They're great. | ||
But the whole idea... | ||
Oh, it's 99% and 35%. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Hey, at least the tomato meter went up a little bit with the critics. | ||
Yeah, the critics jumped in. | ||
The byline says it won't elicit many laughs either. | ||
It's like, oh my God, edgy but empty. | ||
Sticks and stones won't break any bones and it won't elicit many laughs. | ||
I mean, this was... | ||
I don't know. | ||
James Lindsay just posted something today. | ||
He just posted something today that just said, oh my. | ||
Oh, it's about diversity in medical institutions. | ||
And that they think that people who are at the head of medical institutions, they should have tenure. | ||
Because by this, it would take 50 years. | ||
Some woman posted this thing. | ||
Like, forget about competence. | ||
Here it is. | ||
What does it say? | ||
Diversity leadership. | ||
Diversified leadership. | ||
Researchers say term limits may create more opportunities for women and minorities in academic medicine. | ||
Like, term limits. | ||
Like, forget about how competent you are at brain surgery. | ||
What we need is more brown women in your part, doing your part. | ||
So we're going to teach them how to be brain surgeons. | ||
So what I've learned from them is just that it truly behaves like a religion. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
Like woke-ism. | ||
Yes. | ||
And this is the piece that I was writing, I think I quoted you, and Bill Burr, and just, I was saying, like, Comedy's Last Stand, and about, around Chappelle, and how his special, whether he meant to do it or not, goes, like, right after every single one of their tenants. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
You know, almost, like, strategically. | ||
He goes after, and I was saying, everyone's like, oh, it's reactionary, it's reactionary. | ||
I'm like, no, they're fighting! | ||
Yes. | ||
They're not reacting, they're fighting back! | ||
Well, that, Rotten Tomatoes, that's the battleground. | ||
Right. | ||
That shows you, like, this is the ideological battleground. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
This very small number of woke people versus the vast majority of people that don't turn to comedy to have reality defined for them. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
They turn to it to laugh. | ||
Right. | ||
They want relief! | ||
These people are trying to define reality through all forms of art, and they're doing it by, again, trying to get people to comply with their very rigid terms of what you can say, the way you can think, whether you're punching down or punching up, on how you treat people and how you treat minorities and trans people and... | ||
I just get to the, like, why? | ||
Why? | ||
I mean, why? | ||
It's a power trip. | ||
I understand, but what, because I don't, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and so I know that they wake up and think, and that's the weird thing about the time that we live in right now, is that literally everyone on all sides thinks they're on the right side of history. | ||
And you and I were talking about this before, how weird Trump derangement syndrome is, where it definitely exists on the left and there's the craziness and the people who literally see all day long, they're online tweeting about Trump. | ||
I'm like, how do you feed your children? | ||
I imagine they have starving children just waiting for dinner. | ||
And then on the right, you see it with, like, he can do no wrong. | ||
So it's like the maggot and resistant strains of Trump derangements. | ||
And it's like most people don't live in there, in either one. | ||
But they seem to have the loudest... | ||
Platforms. | ||
But that's, you know, they say about the left and the right. | ||
The further you go left, the further you go right. | ||
They kind of meet in the middle. | ||
They just like together. | ||
They get together because it's an ideological thing. | ||
unidentified
|
They sound the same. | |
They do. | ||
When I was getting a text of working at Playboy, you retweeted it actually and it was why, and you had no idea, but it was, I wrote, women date assholes because you're a pussy. | ||
That was like the first column and they were testing me to do a column and you just so happened to retweet it so you probably got me that job. | ||
So thank you. | ||
You're welcome. | ||
And I didn't realize, because I got attacked by all the dudes on the right who were kind of beta dudes, and they were like, I'm not a pussy, I'm a good guy. | ||
And then there were all the people on the left, the radical feminists, and they were like, you can't, this is toxic masculinity. | ||
unidentified
|
And I was like, what the fuck is happening? | |
You guys sound exactly the same. | ||
You should date. | ||
I figured out... | ||
How to solve the problem. | ||
Well, I always think it's hilarious when a right-wing person and a Democrat date. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
How do you make that work? | ||
Maybe it's just like hate-fucking. | ||
Yeah, hate-fucking. | ||
Fuck Nancy Pelosi. | ||
No, fuck me. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm sure. | |
I mean, look, people are goddamn complicated. | ||
We are! | ||
We're very complicated. | ||
That's what was so weird about working at Playboy, was I got there right when they went non-nude. | ||
And I was like, sorry, everyone. | ||
How long did that last? | ||
Like, one minute. | ||
It was like, somebody on Twitter said it was like McDonald's being like, we're not serving fries anymore. | ||
Sorry, guys. | ||
It was like new Coke. | ||
Like, what? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Why would you fuck with Coke? | ||
So that was a weird time. | ||
And then it was a lot of transition, but just writing for men, waking up to the fact that there was this culture war, and then writing for men at a time when it was, like, anti-men. | ||
Right. | ||
I didn't realize that had happened either. | ||
I was, like, still singing, this is a man's world, like, in my mind. | ||
And then suddenly it was like, oh, there's a sex war going on, too. | ||
Well, I got... | ||
The idea behind Me Too. | ||
Like, I was also sexually abused. | ||
Me Too. | ||
I didn't get the time's up. | ||
Like, the thing of time's up. | ||
Time's up for what? | ||
Like, what is the time up for? | ||
Why do we have to use Me Too? | ||
It's such a common phrase. | ||
Like, it's so weird when a guy is like, I can't wait to see you, and I'm always like, hashtag Me Too. | ||
I do that all the time. | ||
unidentified
|
And people go, LOL. Because now it's become a joke. | |
Yeah. | ||
Well, there's been enough Asia Argentos, enough hypocrites, enough of the crazy ones. | ||
But it is important, you know, because, I mean, circling back to what happened to me last week and in my young childhood, it's important that I see that woman, the 19-year-old, as my hero, but also the culture is more supportive of her going and saying something, and it was not 20 years ago. | ||
unidentified
|
At all. | |
So that is progress. | ||
There's definitely progress. | ||
But progress is not clean. | ||
No. | ||
Progress comes in these waves, knocks rocks over, and knocks over pylons, and then everybody rebuilds, and then we figure out where the fuck the ocean line is now. | ||
You know, the shoreline moves. | ||
Everything moves. | ||
But that's been the weird thing, is that it's... | ||
You know, I was joking the other day that I'm like... | ||
You know, sometimes something will happen with Trump and I'll be like, alright, that's it. | ||
You know, like, sign me up for the resistance. | ||
I'm going to be marching in the streets in the minute. | ||
They're like, uh, yeah, and what's your gender? | ||
I'd be like, I'm out of here! | ||
What are your pronouns? | ||
I'm out! | ||
unidentified
|
Forget it! | |
My name is Bridget, you fucking piece of shit! | ||
unidentified
|
I'm not joining you either! | |
They them. | ||
I'm a they them. | ||
I'm just out. | ||
I'm out. | ||
They them. | ||
I have a friend whose daughter's a they. | ||
She calls herself they. | ||
Well, I would be, you know, that's the other thing, too, is that you latch onto these things when you're a kid. | ||
Of course. | ||
You're totally going to be ripe for having that happen to you. | ||
Oh, for sure. | ||
You know, you're going to have, like, two they thems. | ||
Babies. | ||
They call them babies. | ||
unidentified
|
Babies! | |
People are raising their kids as babies. | ||
And I just say, let them decide what they are. | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
I don't push them in any one way or far. | ||
These kids are going to be so fucked up. | ||
It's like a fucking Disney ride. | ||
That was the weird thing when I was working on the... | ||
This is also another weird moment I'm having right now because I listened to so much of your podcast when I was trimming weed. | ||
And anyone who's trimmed weed knows you do it for like 13 hours at a clip and go crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And somewhere in an alternate timeline, I'm trimming weed listening to me. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
That whole culture, and it's so funny because the way those kids revolt, the way they rebel, all the hippie kids who grew up with their pants on acid losing them at festivals and shit, and the Burning Man kids, one of my friends, she joined the army. | ||
I'm like, yeah! | ||
This is what happens. | ||
That's how they rebel. | ||
The kids that grew up with all this crazy shit. | ||
They're like, I'm joining the D-fucking-A, Mom. | ||
That's what I'm doing. | ||
That is what happens. | ||
People get super religious. | ||
Yeah. | ||
If your parents are drug addicts, you become sober and a marathon runner. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah, that happens. | ||
So your kids are going to be like, you know, it's they, Dad! | ||
I'm pretty good at not... | ||
I'm not... | ||
I let them do what they want to do. | ||
I'm not that rigid. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, I have rules and stuff, but there's also a lot of communication in my house. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I think that's... | ||
I mean, I know what the fuck happened when I was a kid, so I try real hard to not make any of that happen to them. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
So there's a lot of talk. | ||
Were you come from a crazy upbringing? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
It was crazy. | ||
It wasn't bad. | ||
They were nice, but they were distant. | ||
Absent. | ||
It was more absent. | ||
But they were working. | ||
I was a latchkey kid. | ||
When I was a kid, my parents worked all the day. | ||
And then when they got home, I was going to martial arts. | ||
So I was never around my parents. | ||
At least you had martial arts. | ||
You probably would have been a freaking hooligan. | ||
Oh my god, that saved me. | ||
From the time I was 14 till the time I stopped fighting, that saved me. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
100%. | ||
Because that gave me structure. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I had no structure. | ||
And it teaches you self-discipline. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It teaches you to respect the whole idea of discipline. | ||
That's what I love about Jacko, the whole discipline equals freedom. | ||
Discipline equals freedom is fucking hilarious. | ||
Do you see the post? | ||
My wife put up a post of Marshall with a watch on. | ||
Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
4.30. | ||
She puts it at 4 o'clock in the morning. | ||
I love it. | ||
He's so inspiring, though, that way. | ||
unidentified
|
That's amazing. | |
I love the watch, too. | ||
So fucking silly. | ||
I'm always like, is that blood or is it sweat? | ||
Sweat, mostly with Jocko. | ||
He's a fucking savage. | ||
He's amazing. | ||
Jocko really does get up every fucking morning at 4.30 and works out like a beast. | ||
But I think there are some men where they should... | ||
They should do that. | ||
Well, we should be... | ||
They're just like born warriors. | ||
And in this society where there's not really... | ||
It's so kind of easy and it's not like they're... | ||
It's... | ||
What do you do? | ||
And as we were talking about, I think a lot of that energy of the negativity, I always say to people online, I'm like, go build something. | ||
Because I know from my own experience that if I'm... | ||
If I'm not using that energy creatively, I'll self-destruct. | ||
Right. | ||
It's like it goes inward or I'll project it outward and I'll tear people down or whatever. | ||
Well, that's what you see. | ||
Yeah, so go build something. | ||
You see people trying to tear people down instead. | ||
Go make something. | ||
Attacking all the time. | ||
It's so much of an attack culture. | ||
Well, discipline is a very important part of being a healthy person. | ||
And for men, I think there's a certain amount of energy that you must expand. | ||
You must expand it. | ||
You must blow it out of your system. | ||
Yeah, and this is actually why I'm very grateful, and again, for you and your platform, because I know from writing for Playboy, I would say, hey guys, what do you think about going bald? | ||
And I would get these long letters from men who would I've never been asked, like, hey, how are you doing, dude? | ||
And they would tell me these stories of, like, what it was like to lose their hair, what it's like to have ED or whatever, and there was not really a space for, in this culture war, there's not, the male magazines have been kind of taken over by the, there's not really a space for men to just be men. | ||
The only space is podcasts. | ||
It is. | ||
Because no one tells you what to do. | ||
But you give these guys a voice and for all the shit you get, I feel like you use it responsibly. | ||
You could be up here being like, go cause a lot of chaos, guys! | ||
And like, go get whatever. | ||
And you're trying to, you know, better yourself and therefore help other people to better themselves and ask questions. | ||
And like, it's not like you're up here. | ||
You could be doing a lot of bad shit with this. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You'd be wielding this weapon like, you know, you could run for president. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
Let's do it. | ||
No, that's never happening. | ||
But yeah, I think that there's very few legitimate outlets for men because everyone has to be, you have to go through the filter of executives and producers and all that. | ||
If you're going to put something out there, like some sort of an entertainment product, it has to be filtered by the network. | ||
It has to be filtered by all these other voices. | ||
And if they want to keep their fucking job, they're not going to let you just be yourself. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
There's no way. | ||
They're going to try to mold you. | ||
What about the diversity? | ||
What you need is a girl sidekick to balance you out, because everything you're doing is so masculine, and people are going to be really turned off by it. | ||
And what about girl voices? | ||
You know, I can't believe you two guys are on there, and you're talking about gay rights, and there's no gay people in the room. | ||
You need a gay person. | ||
And the next thing you know, I've got this woke roundtable, and it's a goddamn disaster. | ||
And men, again, they don't... | ||
Look, I have no problem with anybody saying, like, you can... | ||
If you have a podcast and you're a guy and you just love taking it in the ass, go do a podcast called Take It In The Ass. | ||
Have a good time. | ||
That's you. | ||
But if there's no one filtering you and no one stopping you, you can really accurately reflect who you are. | ||
You can accurately project who you are. | ||
But if you're a man, just a regular man who likes manly shit, do you like hot rods? | ||
Do you like fights? | ||
Do you like tits? | ||
Do you like these things? | ||
Well, then you're a piece of shit. | ||
And in this day and age, if you have that, these normal male desires, which fucking every male has, every one, you can't call it toxic masculinity when every man has it. | ||
There's no outlet. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
Because everything has to be filtered through an executive or a director or a network. | ||
And then what shadow does that create? | ||
So every time, you know, what you resist persists, what you repress creates a dark shadow. | ||
So when you're taking all of this masculine energy and you're constantly beating men over the head with how bad they are, it's not going anywhere. | ||
Now it's just going underground and it's going to leak out in weird fucking ways. | ||
Yes. | ||
Because they're not allowed to express themselves. | ||
And the problem, I see this all the time, is like, oh, toxic masculinity. | ||
Toxic masculinity. | ||
Let men be men. | ||
Let men share their feelings. | ||
And then it's like they do, and they're like, shut the fuck up! | ||
Well, they don't say let men be men. | ||
They want men to change. | ||
They want men to adjust. | ||
Look, you can be a really good person and also be a man. | ||
And actually a manly man. | ||
But they don't think that you can. | ||
They think that you have to evolve and change. | ||
Because the men that are a part of that are all pussies. | ||
And there's a lot of those guys out there. | ||
There's a lot of those guys out there that don't. | ||
Don't like manly men. | ||
And they want to think there's something wrong with someone like Jocko. | ||
There's something wrong with a guy who likes hot rods and tits. | ||
And there's nothing wrong with a guy who's not a manly man either. | ||
No, there's nothing wrong with that. | ||
There's room for us all. | ||
But they're competing. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
Every male feminist is competing. | ||
I saw somebody with a cis, heteronormative, and I was like, oh, you're a woke dude trying to get laid. | ||
Whenever I see that in a cis, heteronormative, I'm like, okay, so you're just... | ||
That's all. | ||
But they have to do that. | ||
I had a bit that I was doing about male feminists. | ||
They don't exist. | ||
Find me a male feminist that can pick up heavy shit and run fast. | ||
They're not real. | ||
They're not real. | ||
You know who the meanest people have been to me online other than incels and radical feminists? | ||
Blue-checked liberal dudes! | ||
Some of the allies. | ||
They're the people who have come the hardest at me and been the most cruel to me. | ||
About what? | ||
They're just always on my nuts about something. | ||
Am I allowed to say that? | ||
Yes. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, you can say that. | |
We'll let you. | ||
I got nuts today. | ||
It's like a white person using the other one. | ||
Oh, that's going to go over well. | ||
That's exactly what it's like. | ||
What are they getting after you about? | ||
What was the last one? | ||
You know, I think I said something about Tulsi, how they're like, oh, she's a foreign ass, and everybody's like, you're a fucking idiot, and they just... | ||
As I kind of started just speaking my mind, and the weird fucking hard thing about being a feisty comedian and somebody that sometimes writes more serious pieces is that I get to... | ||
I don't mean to, but I dance out line of like... | ||
It kind of cracks me up when people get all outraged. | ||
Yes, of course. | ||
It kind of makes me laugh. | ||
unidentified
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It's fun. | |
I can't help. | ||
The comic in me is like, that's my... | ||
I'm supposed to be pushing the envelope and buttons and the free speech stuff, I will die on that hill. | ||
That is... | ||
Literally a hill I will die on. | ||
That's the hill to die on. | ||
And that is when I see the sides going, I'm like, okay, yeah, we've got to push against some of the corruption and this is getting bad over here. | ||
And then I'm like, whoa, okay, this is authoritarian and insane and you can't say anything. | ||
So many of these woke, left dudes are mush. | ||
They're mushy. | ||
They're made out of mush. | ||
Like, come run a hill. | ||
You're made out of mush. | ||
Do a deadlift. | ||
You're made out of mush. | ||
That was one of my favorite Bill Burr routines ever of the guy screaming on the plane where he's like, ah! | ||
unidentified
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And he's like, that is a scream that should come from a woman or a child. | |
And he's like, no grown man should ever have that coming out. | ||
And he's like, that's like, and he was talking about how animals would be like, stay away from that one, Lindsay. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Oh, God. | ||
Because it is... | ||
I don't think... | ||
I was thinking about it. | ||
I'm like, I don't think I've ever dated a liberal dude. | ||
Never? | ||
Because they're... | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't think so. | ||
I don't... | ||
Not in the... | ||
Not recently, because I like my men masculine. | ||
But you can be masculine and also be liberal. | ||
I'm pretty liberal. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I know you are. | ||
I know. | ||
I'm not saying that... | ||
You can be masculine and liberal. | ||
It just doesn't happen that often. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
I think they're all taken. | ||
They've, like, snatched up pretty quick by the liberal women who are like, I see one! | ||
He's a unicorn! | ||
Well, and I think, too, we come from a different generation, so it's more of a struggle maybe now than it was back when you got married. | ||
Because it's being suppressed now. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Men think there's something wrong with it now. | ||
Which is not good. | ||
It's so crazy. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
And I think most women, many women, I'm feisty and opinionated. | ||
I can't have a guy who's not going to put me in my place. | ||
I can't have a man who's going to just let me walk all over them because I will. | ||
Yeah, it's normal. | ||
It's natural. | ||
And no one wants that. | ||
Well, I think there's a natural inclination that certain women have with weak men to push them around. | ||
I think it's normal. | ||
I think you're testing the boundaries of what you can get away with and not get away with communicating with each other. | ||
Well, and it's also the whole concept of nice guy. | ||
It's like, well, you're not a nice guy. | ||
You just were trying to backdoor your way into dating me by being a friend, and it's manipulative. | ||
Do Jordan Peterson talks about that. | ||
Jordan Peterson says that you don't want to be a nice guy. | ||
You want to be a dangerous person who's nice. | ||
A dangerously nice person. | ||
No, a dangerous person who is nice. | ||
But just being a nice person all the time. | ||
You have to be nice. | ||
You're nice because you have no choice. | ||
You want to be a dangerous person who chooses to be nice. | ||
There's a big difference. | ||
That's interesting. | ||
Because you have a choice to be nice or to not be nice. | ||
And I want a dangerous person when this shit hits the fan. | ||
Everybody does. | ||
Everybody does. | ||
You want a dangerous woman, too. | ||
You want someone who can figure it out. | ||
You don't want mush. | ||
People are made out of mush. | ||
Do you think that we're making more mush? | ||
Yes! | ||
If there's anything I think in this life that is un-fucking-bendable, it's that we are making more mush. | ||
And how do you think that we helpfully and not, you know, I find that I do what I did as a child, which is shame the mush. | ||
Well, I think you went through a whole fucking litany of chaotic events that shaped you and you had terrible things happen to you and you learned from them. | ||
And then you became who you are today. | ||
You don't have to do it that way. | ||
No, but my point is using how do you inspire people who might be attracted by this kind of... | ||
The reason I started my podcast is just so that people could tell stories of grit and resilience because I find that what happens is we'll start talking about the victimhood culture, but then it sounds like we're victims. | ||
And I don't want to do that either. | ||
I want to build something grit and resilience. | ||
But how do you, you know, I worry that these young minds are being indoctrinated. | ||
And this is what I always ask them, like the women in particular, young women in particular with like intersectionality, which seems like this race. | ||
I'm like, play the tape forward for me. | ||
Where does this lead? | ||
How does this lead to self-esteem? | ||
How does this lead to feelings of empowerment? | ||
I mean, my therapist and I talk about this all the time, how hard a time she's having with the younger women because they're all coming in with this sense of perpetual victimhood of everywhere you go. | ||
It's the patriarchy and everything is oppressing you and the whole idea of therapy is to get you out of Feeling those, you know, going from maybe being victimized, feeling like a victim, to taking that and being more empowered. | ||
I don't exactly know what you could say to young women, because I've never gone through that experience. | ||
But for sure, for young men, they need something that's difficult. | ||
Young men need difficult things in their life. | ||
Boundary waters or whatever. | ||
Yeah, something. | ||
Anything. | ||
For me, I always tell them jujitsu. | ||
Get involved in jujitsu. | ||
Because I don't... | ||
Getting involved in martial arts that involve striking is fucking dangerous. | ||
Right. | ||
Because brain damage is for keeps. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
You keep that shit for the rest of your life. | ||
That's why I'm so adamant about trying to get fighters to quit when I think they should quit. | ||
You know, when they've hit this wall and they come to me for advice, and it's happened many times, I'm like, you gotta stop. | ||
You gotta stop. | ||
There's no way of fans or butts. | ||
Don't look for that fucking pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because you've already been knocked out four or five times. | ||
You gotta stop. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Because if you don't stop, you're going to be a 60-year-old person that shits their pants. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Your wife's going to have to walk you to the car and you're not going to know where you are in a supermarket. | ||
You're going to get lost. | ||
This is what happens. | ||
This is real. | ||
So striking, striking arts are very dangerous. | ||
And I think you've got to know when to get off that fucking boat. | ||
You've got to know. | ||
But grappling is a different animal. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
Grappling, you could teach people jujitsu. | ||
I went to jujitsu with a guy who was fucking 62 years old. | ||
I was like, how old are you, man? | ||
He's like, 62. I'm like, holy shit! | ||
Purple belt. | ||
62. Going after it. | ||
Trying hard. | ||
Trying to get his black belt. | ||
I'm like, good for you, man. | ||
It was a fucking cool conversation. | ||
That, to me, is something that I would encourage young men to do because it's really difficult, and in the beginning you feel hopeless, and then as you get better at it, you learn, oh my god, with hard work and discipline, and I just fucking keep showing up, just keep showing up and figuring it out, I can get better at something. | ||
It's a very difficult thing. | ||
I can use that as a vehicle for developing my human potential, and also I realize that I can overcome struggle. | ||
I can overcome these things and I can get better. | ||
And then also the exertion of energy. | ||
Just going out there and fucking exhausting yourself. | ||
You're more calm and peaceful. | ||
And then there's another thing about jujitsu is your constant physical contact. | ||
People need hugs. | ||
As weird as that sounds. | ||
But men need even hugging each other. | ||
It sounds like maybe gay or something. | ||
I don't care. | ||
But it's good. | ||
It feels good to hug. | ||
Even though you're trying to kill each other, you're touching each other. | ||
Connection is important, and you need that brotherhood. | ||
There's something about that camaraderie that you have to have. | ||
There's a camaraderie that exists in jiu-jitsu that's unlike any other camaraderie I've ever experienced because there's a certain resentment from striking. | ||
If a guy beats my ass, if I go spar with some guy and he beats my ass, next time I see him, I'm like, I'm going to fuck this dude up. | ||
I don't like him that much. | ||
He hurt me. | ||
He gave me a headache. | ||
Like I went home, I have a headache because I got hit me with a punch. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So I'm thinking, I'm going to fuck him up. | ||
And like, this is like what men do, like in sparring. | ||
And sparring oftentimes turns into fights. | ||
But in jujitsu, like you could choke me and arm bar, we could choke each other. | ||
And then afterwards, it's all love. | ||
It's all hugs and clap hands and thanks, man. | ||
And people tell you how they caught you. | ||
And they tell you, you know, I almost tapped there, dude. | ||
You almost had me in the guillotine. | ||
And we'll laugh about it. | ||
Like, There's a really great class that I've been wanting to take, and it's at Gracie. | ||
Which one? | ||
Which Gracie? | ||
It's Women's Empowerment, but it's all just self-defense, the one in Beverly Hills. | ||
Okay, cool. | ||
But it's an amazing class. | ||
I sat in on it. | ||
Because I like it, as a woman, it feels like the most realistic. | ||
I feel like I can actually use it. | ||
For sure. | ||
Jiu-Jitsu is the most realistic for women. | ||
Just to get away. | ||
Yes. | ||
To defend yourself. | ||
Yeah, to defend yourself just to get away. | ||
I'm not going to sit there and fight. | ||
But just give myself that window of an opportunity that I might, you know, just a chance, a fighting chance. | ||
Because otherwise, yeah, no. | ||
Well, jiu-jitsu is also something that someone who's a weaker person can effectively utilize on someone who's stronger than that. | ||
unidentified
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Right, right. | |
Because it's so technique-based. | ||
Yeah, I think that that is, you know, one of the things I've learned from all the men who were writing into me at Playboy is Jordan Peterson has something that really speaks to these guys. | ||
And, you know, I've seen him get a lot of crap, but, like, he has saved so many men that I know. | ||
I mean, these guys have written me letters like... | ||
Telling me so much, and I'm not sure really what it is about his program or whatever it is that he's saying, his message. | ||
Well, he's concentrating on young men. | ||
He's resonating with young men because... | ||
Is it discipline? | ||
What is his primary... | ||
He always talks about cleaning your room. | ||
Right, right, right. | ||
Make your bed. | ||
Messy mind, messy... | ||
Yeah, same thing. | ||
I mean, he's essentially saying, clean your room, get your shit together. | ||
I mean, there's so much to what he's saying that expands far beyond that as well. | ||
And, you know, his movies are good. | ||
He says there's a documentary about him right now, The Rise of Jordan Peterson, and it's getting censored. | ||
unidentified
|
Why? | |
These people are protesting it being in these theaters. | ||
They don't know. | ||
They think they're supposed to censor him. | ||
They think he's transphobic and homophobic and all these different things. | ||
But he's helped so many people. | ||
But you know his origin? | ||
Do you know what happened in Toronto? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
Not really. | ||
There was a bill that was being passed that was going to force you to use one of... | ||
You know, there's this gender pronoun bill. | ||
Like, say, if you wanted to use one of the 78 different gender pronouns, you would be obligated, like, legally obligated to use them. | ||
And he was protesting against that. | ||
It's like you're using compelled speech. | ||
You can't compel me legally. | ||
Canada does not have free speech. | ||
They do not have the First Amendment. | ||
So it wasn't that he didn't want to use their preferred pronoun. | ||
It was that he didn't want to be compelled to use it. | ||
Yes, legally compelled. | ||
Oh, got it. | ||
Legally compelled. | ||
And you didn't want to use made-up words either. | ||
Right. | ||
Like, because there's Z, Zer, and Jim, and all these different crazy made-up words. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, you want to be a they? | ||
You want to be a he or a she? | ||
Like, what are we doing here? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
What are you? | ||
Okay, if you want me to call Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
Okay, I'll call her Caitlyn. | ||
unidentified
|
That's fine. | |
You want me to say it's a her? | ||
Okay, I'll say it's a her. | ||
That's fine. | ||
I don't care. | ||
I don't give a fuck. | ||
But you want to start making up words? | ||
And that's where he's like, no. | ||
And you want to legally compel. | ||
And you want to call me a bigot for not letting my kid get hormones. | ||
Like, this is where, this is where, or the sports thing I get very, like, outraged about. | ||
It's insane. | ||
It's insane. | ||
There's a bunch of different schools that are letting kids compete in the gender that they identify with. | ||
And in those places, those women's track events are fucking dominated by men. | ||
Dominated. | ||
They're breaking world records. | ||
What was that woman's name? | ||
Rachel McKinnon. | ||
She just broke the world's record for the cycling event. | ||
And she used to be a man. | ||
And you're a bigot if you don't agree with this. | ||
No, you broke the world's record! | ||
How'd that happen? | ||
What is happening here? | ||
What's happening here is you're a guy. | ||
You were born a guy. | ||
This is when I feel like I'm in a simulation and there's somebody who's like, let's see how many people we can get to get on board with this shit. | ||
Or I'm like, maybe I'm just old. | ||
No. | ||
What's happening is women are getting fucked over. | ||
That's why this is the most crazy. | ||
I get called a turf a lot. | ||
But they're in the middle of this ideological battle, and women are losing scholarships, they're losing their ability to compete with people of their own gender, or their own sex, whatever you want to call it, whatever the fucking chromosomes. | ||
When you start adding trans men and trans women into the mix, you're going to get two things, depending on the sport. | ||
The trans men are going to get fucking smoked. | ||
Period. | ||
When women transition to men and they want to be a man and compete with men, they're going to get fucked up in almost every sport, particularly fighting. | ||
It is funny how much it's gotten men talking about periods. | ||
Has it? | ||
I'll see men defending a woman's right to talk about her period. | ||
I'm like, yes, that's right. | ||
Now you're a male feminist. | ||
What man has ever had a problem with women talking about their periods? | ||
No, no, I know. | ||
Who are those guys? | ||
They exist. | ||
They're squeamish. | ||
That is so weak. | ||
Mushy. | ||
That's mushy, man. | ||
Guys are scared of pussy blood. | ||
You're not scared of a bloody steak, but you're scared of vagina blood? | ||
Yeah, there are guys who are squeamish about it. | ||
That's so weird. | ||
Shake them off, believe! | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Shake them off. | ||
Yeah, soft-headed. | ||
It does feel a banana. | ||
I read something somewhere where it said, you know, there was... | ||
Gender, like, stereotypes were being determined by biology. | ||
And now we're using biology... | ||
Now we're using gender to determine biology. | ||
So biology determined gender stereotypes. | ||
The male and the female and whatever. | ||
And there was a reaction to that. | ||
And now as a reaction to it, they're using gender to determine biology. | ||
And how it's getting... | ||
Yeah, it's like... | ||
It's so confusing. | ||
It's so... | ||
The thing is there's just a broad spectrum of people. | ||
And there's low testosterone males and there's high testosterone females. | ||
And that should be okay. | ||
We should be allowed to be whatever the fuck we want. | ||
But the thing is that the low testosterone males can't compete with the high testosterone males. | ||
And the high testosterone females can't compete with the high estrogen females. | ||
And there's like, if you want a Barbie doll and you're built like the Hulk... | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
If you want to be Barbie, but instead you're built like Tom Arnold. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
Like one of them lesbians that always wears vests. | ||
I'm definitely getting canceled. | ||
There's a type of lesbian that wears those Patagonia vests everywhere, right? | ||
I have a Subaru. | ||
My brother's like, Britt, you could have just come out. | ||
You should come out. | ||
Those thick ones with the wide waists. | ||
I get called an alpha widow all the time. | ||
That's what the insults call me. | ||
unidentified
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Alpha what? | |
Alpha widow. | ||
It's a term. | ||
Alpha widow? | ||
Yeah, you can Google it and everything. | ||
It's like a woman who chases after alpha males, but they're not interested in like wifing me up. | ||
And so I end up a widow. | ||
unidentified
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Okay. | |
That doesn't make any sense. | ||
But what I was going to say is that unrealistic body types is what I was going to say. | ||
This is a thing that gets brought up all the time. | ||
They've even had these promos and these advertisements taken down, particularly in the UK, there was a big story about that, because they were promoting unrealistic body types. | ||
Okay. | ||
One of those guys tried to do that, too. | ||
One of those Vox guys. | ||
Is this a body positive thing? | ||
No, it's not. | ||
He was trying to say, don't follow these gay... | ||
He's a gay guy. | ||
He's saying, don't follow these gay Instagram thirst pages because they're promoting an unrealistic body type. | ||
And the fucking gay guys just attacked him. | ||
To the point where he had to shut his fucking Instagram down for a while. | ||
Because gay guys don't play with that shit. | ||
No! | ||
That unrealistic body type, you could pull that off on some women. | ||
They're like, yeah, it's unrealistic while they're eating cake. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it's not unrealistic. | ||
That's a real woman. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's just not your body type. | ||
Or it's not typical. | ||
Well, look, if you're a fucking person, I'm 5'8". | ||
If I look at LeBron James, 7' tall man, I go, well, that's an unrealistic body type. | ||
unidentified
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No. | |
No, it's realistic. | ||
He's playing basketball professionally. | ||
He's a real person. | ||
It's not a fucking hologram. | ||
It's not unrealistic. | ||
It's just unachievable for me. | ||
That's just what it is. | ||
Just know your limits. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
That's what you got. | ||
That's the fucking hand you got. | ||
That has nothing to do with realistic or unrealistic. | ||
If you see a girl and she's got a tiny waist and a big ass and big tits, she's just got that Jennifer Lopez gene, fuck! | ||
That's just her. | ||
She got lucky! | ||
You didn't get that lucky. | ||
That is realistic. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Now, if they're using that to sell fucking Fanta or Adidas shoes or whatever the fuck it is, so what? | ||
If you're saying, well, all these girls feel terrible because that's unrealistic. | ||
That's life. | ||
That is life. | ||
Yeah, again, we come back to why are we responsible for everyone's feelings? | ||
Get off the fucking couch and go do something about it if you don't want to feel sad. | ||
Do you know who no one cares about, though? | ||
Fat dudes. | ||
Fat dudes can fuck off. | ||
No one cares. | ||
No one feels bad about fat dudes. | ||
Well, they get away with the whole dad bod thing, which I wrote a whole piece about, where I was like, dad bod isn't... | ||
Dad bods and guys with a gut, like Burt Kreischer bods, that bod... | ||
Dad bod isn't an excuse to be lazy, though. | ||
I know some guys who will lean really into that. | ||
They're like, it's a dad bod. | ||
I'm like... | ||
What do you mean? | ||
They like it? | ||
Yeah, they kind of get away with it. | ||
Guys get cute, adorable little dad bod, and women get fupa. | ||
I don't think so, though. | ||
No girl wants a dad bod, do they? | ||
The only reason why a woman wants a dad bod is because they know that the guy has less options, so he's more likely to stick around. | ||
unidentified
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Right? | |
If the guy's got a dad vibe, I was like, where you going, bitch? | ||
Or his red. | ||
I was going to fuck you. | ||
There. | ||
Either one. | ||
But I mean, look, I'm sure some women like doughy guys. | ||
They like it. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah. | |
And I think some women like more like girth and meat, like a little bit of weight. | ||
Football player looking dudes. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah. | |
Some girls like big, thick women, too. | ||
Everybody's different. | ||
I just think that if you like somebody... | ||
And here, to your point, is that it's fine whatever you like, whatever your type is, if you're into a big dude, whatever, but the people who like people who are fit are somehow now being shaped. | ||
The only thing that's changed is people's ability to express themselves online through social media. | ||
That's the only thing that's changed. | ||
And because of that, people are yelling about things that they can't do. | ||
Do you get fit shamed? | ||
I get called a meathead. | ||
I guess that's fit shamed. | ||
Guilty as charged. | ||
Fuck off! | ||
I don't care. | ||
But if you're going to shame me for being in shape, like, congratulations. | ||
I don't care. | ||
I don't care. | ||
It doesn't work. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Because you feel great because you're in shape. | ||
It's like someone shaming you for being successful. | ||
Oh, you got me. | ||
Sorry. | ||
Sorry, I figured out a lot of shit. | ||
It's such a weird, this is a weird, the weird world is that it feels like we're raising the, you know, the bar isn't, it's being lowered and lowered and lowered. | ||
And so instead of raising our standards and trying to everybody lift each other up, it's more just like a very small majority that's like, come down! | ||
But again, it's a tiny amount of people who are making this noise. | ||
We've been talking about it. | ||
It has an outsized influence. | ||
Well, it has people reacting to it. | ||
They're bending towards it, but I think it's temporary. | ||
Do you? | ||
Yes! | ||
You're optimistic. | ||
You think it's going to eat its own tail? | ||
You can never be woke enough. | ||
They go after each other. | ||
They turn on each other. | ||
I don't think it's real. | ||
I don't think it's real. | ||
Look, there's certain things that people always are going to like, and there's certain things that men are going to like, there's certain things that women are going to like. | ||
It's just the way it is. | ||
I do think it gets sorted pretty quickly in natural disasters. | ||
You know when I always say this? | ||
I'm like, you can call yourself whatever you want. | ||
And the other interesting thing is your computer knows better than whatever you're saying online. | ||
Your search engine? | ||
Yeah, they've done studies, and it doesn't matter what you're saying online. | ||
Your search engine knows what gender you are, essentially. | ||
I mean, it can generally tell. | ||
Like, probably with a large accuracy. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
You look at my search results, it would be fucking super obvious what I am. | ||
But I think that we just live in this really confusing moment in history. | ||
So, I guess my fear is that the... | ||
The youth are ingesting all this kind of... | ||
It's confusing for them. | ||
Yeah, it is. | ||
It is, but it's also... | ||
Look, as much as I like to make fun of woke culture, the good thing about it is it's making people more sensitive. | ||
I agree. | ||
It's making people nicer. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But not necessarily nicer because some of the people that are woke are using that as an excuse to be a fucking asshole to people. | ||
unidentified
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Right. | |
To force compliance and be an asshole. | ||
But because of that, because of that, it's again, it's like the tide. | ||
It's going in and out and it's going to find its healthy level. | ||
Yeah, Gen Z is amazing. | ||
I have nephews who are Gen Z, and they're so funny. | ||
I don't even know what they are. | ||
They're the new ones? | ||
They're basically like 19 and below. | ||
And they're just so, I don't know, they're just funny. | ||
Three years ago, my nephew, they've already taken all this kind of woke language, and they've metabolized it. | ||
They're like, dude, mom, she was so triggered. | ||
And they didn't mean it like she was getting bullied or anything. | ||
It was like a girl who got a bad grade. | ||
And they were already using the language. | ||
Yeah, they're already taking it and memeing it. | ||
You know why? | ||
Podcasts. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, they listen to podcasts. | ||
Those young kids who listen to it all the time. | ||
There's a huge, small Ben Shapiro cult of like 12 to 14 year old boys. | ||
It's no joke. | ||
You know what's really funny? | ||
The moms who hate him. | ||
Well, that's why. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, all my friends, I have a lot of female friends on, like, the west side, and they are all super lib, you know, like, cried for three days, acted like it was 9-11. | ||
I'm like, did planes fly after Trump won? | ||
That lady with the fucking sock hat with the glasses on her knees screaming? | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
I still watch it every week. | ||
It's my favorite. | ||
It's my favorite. | ||
Tell me that lady didn't know a camera was on her. | ||
No, but that's the- She fucking knew. | ||
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
That's half the reason why she was doing it that way. | ||
It's this book, you have to read the book Mediated. | ||
It's my Bible for this time, and I read it in 2006. Who wrote that? | ||
Thomas de Zengo Tisha. | ||
He wrote about, it's essentially like how we're all self-reflexive, and he talks about this, how everyone, when everything is mediated, everyone knows their role. | ||
They know what part they're playing. | ||
This book is amazing. | ||
I'm going to write this down. | ||
Oh, Mediated. | ||
How media shapes the world and the way you live. | ||
But he has a chapter on identity politics. | ||
I'm going to write this down right now. | ||
He was explaining all this post-modernism before Jordan Peterson and all of the critical theory, all of the people. | ||
And he's a brilliant writer. | ||
When was this? | ||
When did this all fall out? | ||
2006 it came out. | ||
It's so good. | ||
And I just... | ||
2006? | ||
Isn't it crazy when someone catches shit, like, as it's happening? | ||
They catch the smell in the air, like, oh, I know where this is going. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
He called it. | ||
And I... I probably reference this book on every talk I have because he talks about exactly this when Princess Diana died. | ||
He said, you know, everyone knew their roles. | ||
And he was talking about how the Monica Lewinsky thing is so interesting because she was like, in her TED Talk, she talks about this, how she was patient zero for... | ||
Online mobbing. | ||
It was like the first news story for the 24-hour news cycle and really the first person who got like mobbed by everybody. | ||
Have you ever read John Ronson's book, So You've Been Publicly Shamed? | ||
Yes, I love him. | ||
Yeah, he's great. | ||
That book is amazing. | ||
And I remember because I got on Twitter right when the Justine Sacco thing happened and I was like, this is bad. | ||
What are you guys doing? | ||
I didn't know what was happening. | ||
I was like, this is not good, you guys. | ||
That's the story of your life. | ||
It's like walking into a fucking gang fight. | ||
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
Hey, put the bottles down! | ||
Why do you have a torch? | ||
What the fuck? | ||
I know, it's true. | ||
Every time I go on one of these things, they're like, how'd you end up here? | ||
unidentified
|
I'm like, I literally tweeted my ass into the center of the culture wars. | |
And I'm like, wait, what happened? | ||
Now I'm writing about it. | ||
Oh my god, it's so funny. | ||
It is such weird times because in so many ways, I mean, I went to the sex robot factory, and I just wrote about this for a column that's coming out, and it was like that whole Uncanny Valley, you know? | ||
I felt like I was walking in and out of it through the whole... | ||
Have you seen Whitney's? | ||
Have you seen hers? | ||
Yeah, and it was where she got hers done. | ||
And it was such a weird... | ||
It was like... | ||
It was so, you know, how they're making them, like, warm. | ||
I'm like, as soon as these things can make sandwiches, like, we're fucked. | ||
It's gonna happen. | ||
No, women are done! | ||
We're gonna be toast! | ||
Did you see Ex Machina? | ||
Yes. | ||
She's hot, even though you can see through her skin into her robot parts. | ||
She's still hot. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Like, that whole Turing test, that's going to happen. | ||
Like, people are going to not be able to distinguish whether or not something is a robot or a person. | ||
It's going to happen. | ||
unidentified
|
Ugh, God. | |
It's probably going to happen within 100 years. | ||
And then they're so funny, because in the piece I was writing, I'm like, it's so weird because they're all so optimistic, and they're like, no, it's for the guys who are lonely, and it's like that opening scene in Jurassic Park where you're like, what could possibly go wrong? | ||
You're like, I wrote something a long time ago where I was making fun of people who had real dolls, and this guy wrote to me, and it made me feel bad. | ||
Did he lose his wife? | ||
Oh, no, no, no. | ||
He was just horribly scarred from acne, and he could never get a girl, and he just had a shit roll of the dice. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
And he was talking, but he goes, I'd be happy to talk to you about it. | ||
Sometimes you make fun of something, and then someone reaches out to you, and now you're a human that you're communicating with. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
Oh, this isn't fun anymore. | ||
Well, that was what Whitney was saying. | ||
She was saying that she wanted to kind of think they were all creeps, and then she went on their message boards, and they were all really lovely guys who took really good care of their dolls. | ||
And I think that, again, relationships and human sexuality are complicated, but when I was asking the guy in charge of AI... Because what creeped me out more than even the dolls hanging from the meat hooks, like all that shit, was that they're... | ||
So with the app, you know how... | ||
I'm sure she explained how it works, where it's like, now they're getting into... | ||
Did you see the movie Her? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yes. | ||
Okay, so that's really what they're focusing on so that it's essentially like if you had the app and then you left to go to the podcast because it's in your schedule, then the robot would be like, see you soon, Joe. | ||
Miss ya! | ||
And it would send a text. | ||
And so now you have this relationship and really the doll is just the physical form of this persona that you have a relationship with in the cloud. | ||
And I was like, okay. | ||
I have to pee so bad. | ||
You can stop for a second. | ||
How can we stop? | ||
unidentified
|
We don't have to, I guess. | |
Can you guys talk for a second? | ||
Sure. | ||
Talk to Jamie real quick. | ||
We did two podcasts in a row. | ||
I have to pee real bad. | ||
I'll be right back. | ||
unidentified
|
Jump in a restaurant talk. | |
We're going to talk about restaurants. | ||
I don't want to talk about that, but I can't concentrate. | ||
Yeah, I can get it. | ||
unidentified
|
I have these. | |
When did you go to the sex doll factory? | ||
Like last month. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
Yeah. | ||
Okay. | ||
The piece is in... | ||
It's coming out soon, actually. | ||
Spectator has a... | ||
It's like the oldest magazine in the UK, and they launched a United States version. | ||
And, um, so they have one, and then the next column I wrote for them is about the, um, it's like that, called the Uncanny Valley of the Dolls. | ||
Did they show you any new, anything new they're working on? | ||
No, I mean, it's all the same, and it seems pretty, they not, you know, they have like the self-lubricating ones coming, and like the ones that heat up, and It's more the technology that they're trying to make more interactive. | ||
So it's the actual AI that's really interesting. | ||
And then I think they want to move towards, like, getting cameras in the eyes. | ||
And it was so funny because the AI guys are so funny, guys who deal with that. | ||
They're just a different breed. | ||
And he was like, I was on a jury and I was thinking, this would be the perfect place to have a sex doll with a camera in the eyes. | ||
I was like, that's your thought? | ||
Like... | ||
If only there's a sex doll in the corner with the cameras in the eyes. | ||
unidentified
|
I think of a quick question. | |
I wonder, like, is there any women that are working there? | ||
Is it all guys programming? | ||
No, no, no. | ||
It's all women. | ||
And that's what was so interesting is that, and I talk about this in the piece, I'm like, there's my perception, which is that I'm going to this huge warehouse, and it's like all these kind of sketchy dudes, and it's like a dystopian kind of creep show. | ||
And then I get there and it's mostly just artists and women and men and people who are, you know, like character design and they're truly artists. | ||
You walk in and it looks like a fucking tattoo parlor. | ||
And so other than like the different sets of lips and nipples on the wall, you would think you were walking into like a tattoo parlor. | ||
So it's so chill and then, yeah, you kind of... | ||
Go in and out of it being, like, when you hear the stories of the people who lost their wife or somebody who had acne, I see how this is useful. | ||
And maybe people just want to hold, like you said, they want to hold something. | ||
It's incremental steps. | ||
Robot domination? | ||
Dissolving of reality. | ||
Reality is going to be either virtual or you're going to have a combination of virtual and augmented and you're going to probably be overtaken by robots. | ||
I think that fucking Unabomber guy was right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Ted Kaczynski? | ||
You know that guy, he did a bunch of acid. | ||
They fucking cooked his brain. | ||
What did he say? | ||
Well he thought that technology was going to take over the human race. | ||
That's why he was killing all those people that were involved in technology. | ||
I have a theory that with the escalation of our climate, you know, whatever, and I heard this panel back in 2000. It was all about the nature of the soul. | ||
And is the soul essentially... | ||
And human consciousness is essentially going to jump elements from carbon to silicon in order to survive the wasteland that we're going to leave behind. | ||
Yeah, there's something going to happen. | ||
A new form of life is going to take place. | ||
Is that the singularity? | ||
And I think Trump was on Extra Adderall when he's like, I know what to do. | ||
I'm going to buy Greenland. | ||
I think he was on to something. | ||
I think that was like probably the best fucking idea that he ever had. | ||
I wish people got more excited about it because he came up with it and like it was dismissed and it was in and out of the news cycle in like four or five days. | ||
Greenland was like, fuck you! | ||
He's like, alright. | ||
I didn't know you could buy Greenland. | ||
But if you could, and that was like America Northeast, like where is Greenland on the map? | ||
Northwest? | ||
Northeast. | ||
Way Northeast, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
So if he was like, that's America Northeast, just like Alaska and Hawaii. | ||
We got a new one. | ||
That's a fucking great idea. | ||
Because when shit gets really warm and people start moving there and like, guys, this is the shit. | ||
It's fucking 78 degrees year round. | ||
It's going to be nice and green. | ||
It's an island you can defend. | ||
Yeah, exactly. | ||
Yeah, you can defend it. | ||
I mean, how big is Greenland? | ||
unidentified
|
Huge. | |
How huge? | ||
Big. | ||
Big enough for all of us? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Could it be America Northeast? | ||
unidentified
|
Oh yeah. | |
Really? | ||
Really? | ||
It's that big? | ||
Let's, uh, perspective. | ||
Put, um, on the screen, uh, the size of Greenland in, uh, versus the U.S. Yeah. | ||
Let's see. | ||
unidentified
|
Uh, wait. | |
Uh, never mind. | ||
unidentified
|
What do you think? | |
I feel like it's, uh, I didn't think it was that big. | ||
Wait, never mind. | ||
No, no, but I didn't think it was that big. | ||
Are we going continental U.S. or are we including Alaska? | ||
Uh, continental. | ||
Because Alaska makes us big, way bigger. | ||
unidentified
|
Alaska's enormous. | |
Alaska's enormous. | ||
But nobody lives there. | ||
Like three people live in Alaska. | ||
Sorry, Alaska. | ||
We love you. | ||
unidentified
|
I thought it was way bigger. | |
Alaska, they are barely Americans. | ||
They're awesome. | ||
Don't get me wrong. | ||
I mean, they live in paradise. | ||
That's like true size is what it says. | ||
Holy shit, it's huge. | ||
Yeah, I know, but when you drop it there, it fits right in the middle. | ||
Yeah, but that's bigger than Texas. | ||
Dude, Texas could fit everyone in America. | ||
Wow, look at the size of it up there. | ||
Yes, Texas is huge. | ||
People don't realize how big Australia is. | ||
Australia is pretty big. | ||
It's as big as the contiguous United States. | ||
But there's only as many people, less than as many people as Los Angeles. | ||
unidentified
|
And look at this one. | |
This map is a weird perspective angle. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's crazy. | |
Look at the perspective. | ||
Oh, shit. | ||
But how does it look? | ||
Isn't that crazy? | ||
When you see the actual position, it looks way bigger than the United States. | ||
Dun, dun, dun. | ||
That's because of taking a round thing and flattening it out. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
That's so stupid. | ||
I don't know why they do that. | ||
This is why the flat Earth there is less. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, I told you it doesn't work, man. | ||
The ice wall. | ||
You just gave all the evidence. | ||
The really crazy thing is how many things fit in Africa. | ||
Everything fits in Africa. | ||
Almost every continent, almost every country in the world. | ||
Have you been? | ||
No. | ||
But if you look at how many countries fit inside of Africa, because you see Africa, you go, oh yeah, there's South America, there's Africa. | ||
Okay. | ||
They're about the same. | ||
Yeah, it looks the same. | ||
But then when you see, like, superimposed all of the United States, Europe, Asia, China. | ||
Really? | ||
Fucking everything! | ||
Look, that's Africa. | ||
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
Look at all that shit. | ||
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
I know! | ||
I didn't realize that. | ||
I know! | ||
It's nuts! | ||
India fits in there. | ||
Everything fits in there. | ||
Oh my god! | ||
Dude. | ||
France. | ||
Look at that. | ||
Spain. | ||
Fuck off. | ||
I didn't realize that. | ||
Switzerland. | ||
Switzerland's so tiny. | ||
unidentified
|
Italy. | |
Why is Switzerland even on there? | ||
Because they make good knives. | ||
They make army knives. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
I didn't realize that. | ||
Look at China. | ||
China. | ||
It's crazy how big Africa is. | ||
I've never been. | ||
I want to go. | ||
Have you been to India? | ||
No. | ||
Why are you scared of malaria? | ||
Because it kills people. | ||
It kills more people than anybody. | ||
My dad got malaria when he was there. | ||
He's alive though. | ||
Is he? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Are you sure? | ||
My friend Justin, who runs Fight for the Forgotten Charity, Building Wells for the Pygmies, he's gotten it three times. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Three times. | ||
Malaria? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Did he have to take the pills? | ||
It made him crazy? | ||
He took the pills, and it made him crazy for sure, but he got malaria, and then if he gets really sick, he can get malaria again. | ||
unidentified
|
It'll kick back in. | |
It's like dormant in his system. | ||
Yeah, they've come a long way though because the old school pills made you like... | ||
Crazy. | ||
Yeah, the ones the soldiers had to take, they were all like psychotic. | ||
Dave Foley from News Radio, I had to keep him from assaulting a reporter once. | ||
He was drunk on malaria. | ||
He was drunk and he'd take malaria medication. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh no! | |
Yeah, and he took the reporter's microphone or he took his tape recorder and shoved it in his drink. | ||
And I was like, Dave, what are you doing? | ||
Do you still act? | ||
No. | ||
Never? | ||
No, no, no, no. | ||
You just don't? | ||
Last time I acted was in a Kevin James movie. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Just because he's a buddy of mine. | ||
You just don't want to do it? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
Oh. | ||
No desire. | ||
I guess I have been to Africa because of Egypt. | ||
Yeah, Egypt's Africa. | ||
I really want to go to Egypt. | ||
Yeah, I've been. | ||
That's where I got this ring. | ||
Oh. | ||
It was amazing. | ||
Did you get it from a tomb? | ||
Is that haunted? | ||
No. | ||
It was one of my favorite trips. | ||
That same science museum had this insane exhibit on Tutankhamen. | ||
I went. | ||
Twice. | ||
Yeah, I'm obsessed. | ||
Fucking incredible. | ||
I was really obsessed with Egypt from a very young age. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
Just unnaturally. | ||
Do you believe in past lives? | ||
How do you feel about this? | ||
I don't not believe. | ||
That's how I feel. | ||
Yeah, this is what I think. | ||
You know how people are, you know, like some people have arachnophobia, this unusual fear of spiders? | ||
I think that probably comes from someone in your ancestry getting bitten by a spider. | ||
Oh, that's interesting. | ||
Like, people have instincts, right? | ||
Like, Marshall, okay? | ||
Marshall has been my dog. | ||
He's pretty lovable. | ||
He's the best. | ||
He doesn't seem too fierce. | ||
He's not fierce at all. | ||
He's a sweetheart. | ||
But he has instincts, right? | ||
Like he lifts up his leg and pees on things. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
He smells where other dogs have peed and he pees there too. | ||
I didn't teach him how to do that. | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
When he was a puppy, but when I got him, when he was six weeks old, he would just pee all over the place. | ||
Anytime he had to pee, he would squat down and pee. | ||
But then as he got older, he has instincts. | ||
Right. | ||
Inherent memory in his genes. | ||
I want to know how they decide where to poop. | ||
If I find out one thing before I die, like if I get to choose one thing, I'm like, how does my dog make this decision? | ||
I mean, I know it's instinct, but what? | ||
Someone told me they face a certain way. | ||
That's not true. | ||
unidentified
|
I've kept track. | |
I have a whole list of every direction Hope is pooping in. | ||
Well, when I run with Marshall, he generally poops in the same area. | ||
Like, within, like, a hundred yards. | ||
Like, wherever we run, like, there's this area that we come down off of this hill, and he's like, this is a good spot to take a shit. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And then he drops a log right there. | ||
I just want to know, is it, like, territorial? | ||
Is there some dog that has some food that she's, like, outfooding? | ||
Where she's like, my food's better. | ||
There's definitely some sort of territorial thing to it, because they'll roll in shit, too. | ||
My dog doesn't. | ||
She's not, she won't even step in it. | ||
She's, like, very prissy about that stuff. | ||
Marshall has rolled an other dog ship. | ||
She doesn't want to eat it. | ||
She's not one of those dogs at all. | ||
She's very particular. | ||
She always has to go to the edge of the... | ||
It's weird. | ||
She always goes to the edge of the curb. | ||
Or in between the sidewalk and whatever it's called. | ||
She's got her spot. | ||
But it's not the same spot every time. | ||
And she's very picky. | ||
It's like, okay, fucking pick a spot. | ||
I want to know. | ||
And my whole thing about past lives is, I'm like, well, until you can tell me they definitively aren't true, I'm going to believe they are. | ||
I think it's just more interesting. | ||
What I was going to get at is that there's a memory that gets passed down through your genes. | ||
Sorry, I was an Egyptian. | ||
Well, there's probably some weird fucking memory. | ||
That all of us have from all the different ancestors that we share DNA with. | ||
It only makes sense. | ||
Isn't it funny how everyone always thinks they're going to be like the king or the queen and it's like, no. | ||
You were sucking dick for homemade wine. | ||
I was a fucking starving slave for like 10,000 generations. | ||
I know it. | ||
I was a nobleman. | ||
No, you aren't. | ||
I ruled across a great land. | ||
That's like, guys, I wrote about, I write a lot about, when I was at Playboy, I wrote about, like, I had this experience, so I was like the second wife. | ||
I wasn't a wife, but I was the second in an open marriage. | ||
And all the guys think they're going to be that guy. | ||
And it's like, I was reading this book, and I forget which book it was or something, and it said... | ||
Actually, that men who had multiple wives and women had to start, like, not hugging all the women because it was causing so much strife within the, like, tribes. | ||
Jordan Peterson talks about that, too. | ||
That's one of the problems with incels, is that there's the men, like the alpha men, like the Jason Momoa's of the world, they have, you know, if they wanted to, they could have a gang of women, and then other guys would be like, hey, what about me? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
But I kind of, honestly, I kind of liked the situation. | ||
The guy was so alpha, and it almost took two women to, like, balance him out. | ||
And from my perspective, I was like, I want a wife. | ||
Me, as a wife, would want a wife, too. | ||
I would want someone else to, like, we, it was so, like, we did the gardening and, like, sure. | ||
How long did this work out for? | ||
It didn't work out for that long. | ||
Like a couple of months. | ||
No, no. | ||
It was a while. | ||
Did you see the king of Thailand formally got rid of his concubine? | ||
What did he call him? | ||
unidentified
|
Royal mistress. | |
Royal mistress. | ||
Yeah, not a concubine. | ||
Concubine would be a whore, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Boulder. | |
Yes. | ||
unidentified
|
A little old school. | |
Old school? | ||
unidentified
|
About the same thing, I think. | |
I'm not sure. | ||
Concubine has more flair to it. | ||
But he had an official royal mistress that was actually, like she had rank in the military. | ||
Oh! | ||
Yeah, and she apparently disrespected the queen. | ||
So you had to shut her down. | ||
And you had to strip her of her power. | ||
Oh. | ||
I thought you were going somewhere else with that. | ||
Strip her down. | ||
Yeah, I was like... | ||
Piss on her. | ||
What's happening? | ||
When you go to Thailand, you cannot talk shit ever. | ||
There it is. | ||
There's the... | ||
For King... | ||
I don't know how to spell it. | ||
Say his name. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
How did you say that? | ||
With great power comes no responsibility at all. | ||
Well, so he has this... | ||
Was that his wife? | ||
Let me see the... | ||
What is the article? | ||
The King of Thailand... | ||
How do I say that? | ||
Peremptorily? | ||
I've never seen that word ever. | ||
Have you ever seen that word? | ||
You're a writer. | ||
No, I don't. | ||
Peremptorily? | ||
Peremptorily. | ||
unidentified
|
Is that... | |
Dismisses his official mistress. | ||
I'm not familiar with that. | ||
She was talking to Shannon about the wife. | ||
She disrespected the wife. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
She's like, kick rocks, bitch! | ||
What does it mean? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
Look at her name. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh boy. | |
Now I have to... | ||
I look up every word I don't know. | ||
Ingratitude, misbehavior, and disloyalty. | ||
These were among the failings of try saying her name. | ||
S-I-N-E-E-N-A-T-C-N-E-A-T. And here's the big one. | ||
W-O-N-G-V-A-G-I-R-A-P-A-K-D-I. I don't even want to try that one. | ||
Detailed in a scathing royal statement on October 21st. | ||
Apparently, the mistress wanted to elevate herself to the same state as the queen. | ||
Of course. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Number two always wants to be number one. | ||
That was ultimately why it didn't work out. | ||
Really? | ||
You wanted to be number one? | ||
I didn't want to be number one because that has a lot more responsibility and I'm not really that type A. But I didn't feel like... | ||
I felt like everyone's needs were being... | ||
I was like, hey, are you okay? | ||
Are you okay? | ||
And no one was like, hey, is Bridget okay? | ||
So I felt like my needs were the ones that got... | ||
Pushed aside. | ||
Pushed aside. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, you can call that bitch. | ||
I'm sure you... | ||
We can start a little meeting. | ||
No, it was fine. | ||
It was really just one of those things. | ||
unidentified
|
I'm such a writer and so curious. | |
She was just made that position in July. | ||
It was the first time it was done in over a century. | ||
So she lost it very quickly. | ||
That's really fast. | ||
She basically was like, yo, I want to be number one after like a month. | ||
Alright, that's a little entitled. | ||
She gave it a shot. | ||
Calm down. | ||
What do you think? | ||
Prostate herself before the king and queen, a former flight attendant who he married in May. | ||
Oh, the Queen's a former flight attendant. | ||
Do you know that my friend's a flight attendant, and she was telling me because they don't have unions, and all my friends from around the world are always like, why are all the old ladies up in first class? | ||
Because over in all the Asian airlines, you're pretty much done at age 30. My friend works at United. | ||
She's like, you're done at 30. Why? | ||
Because it's like they want young, good-looking women. | ||
So they fire you? | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
I mean, they don't have unions, so they're not... | ||
In Asia. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
But they have them in America, right? | ||
Yeah, we have them. | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
That's why all the old ladies are in first class. | ||
Oh, so that's why they were saying, why are these old ladies out there? | ||
Yeah, like all my friends from around the world are like, I don't understand. | ||
That's where the hottest people should be. | ||
Well, that used to be what flight attendants were. | ||
They were almost like cocktail waitresses at bottle service. | ||
It's a hard job. | ||
My best friend, I mean, their schedule is insane. | ||
I could never do it. | ||
And just the way they get treated, their punching bags, and their first responders. | ||
Most people don't understand that they're all so well-trained, and they're the ones that if shit goes down, they're the first responders. | ||
Right, and then they have to call out and hope a doctor's on the plane. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
I mean, the stuff she's told me where she's had two old ladies fighting over, she's like, ladies, I'm embarrassed for you. | ||
It's also like they're a waitress who tells you what to do. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're a waitress who tells you how to sit down and buckle yourself up. | ||
Was that your stand-up? | ||
That's in your bit, where you're talking. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
I was laughing so hard, because I remember getting so high, and actually, I hated airports when I was high. | ||
I was always like, okay. | ||
Because I get anxious around security. | ||
I'm the girl that could never be a drug mule. | ||
I look guilty. | ||
I look guilty if I didn't do anything. | ||
I get randomly searched every time I fly. | ||
Every time. | ||
You look sketchy. | ||
I look sketchy. | ||
I think it's the eyebrows. | ||
That's what a homeless guy told me. | ||
What'd you say? | ||
He said my eyebrows made me look like trouble. | ||
What? | ||
A homeless guy told you that? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | ||
You have normal eyebrows. | ||
I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. | ||
It doesn't make any sense. | ||
Anyway, maybe that's why I get flagged. | ||
That's why he's homeless. | ||
His shit judgment. | ||
That's why he's homeless. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Jamie, you're like extra Columbus today, man. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's a home. | |
You got a Columbus shirt. | ||
You got a C hat. | ||
unidentified
|
It's a Cleveland hat. | |
Oh, sorry. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Oh, you're extra Ohio today. | ||
Yes. | ||
You're doubling down. | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
Oh, we're at Cleveland this weekend. | ||
Holla! | ||
Saturday night. | ||
See you there, bitches. | ||
That'll be fun. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's where everybody's going. | ||
I love Cleveland. | ||
Why? | ||
Because now all the people can't afford to live in California. | ||
So a couple of my friends have moved to Ohio, actually. | ||
They're all going back. | ||
And also where Texas is a big one. | ||
Idaho, I heard, is a secret. | ||
Texas is filling up, though. | ||
Don't go to Austin. | ||
Idaho is the next secret one. | ||
They're gonna be mad I told the secret. | ||
Yeah, I've told already. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Boise's pretty fucking dope. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
So people are leaving because the cost of living here is insane. | ||
The cost of living is insane and a fault line that hasn't moved in 500 years just shifted yesterday. | ||
I know, but the lady that I follow on Twitter who's like a seismologist debunked that it's not as big of a worry. | ||
That bitch is going to be the first one to die. | ||
Or it's going to open up under her feet and swallow her up like a big mouth. | ||
We were doing a joke about that on the dumpster fire video. | ||
I was like, you know the protesters who like super glue their hand? | ||
I'm like, what if you did... | ||
They super glue their hand to the fucking pavement. | ||
For what? | ||
For all those crazy climate protests. | ||
What are you talking about? | ||
I'm not... | ||
No knowledge of this. | ||
You're saying it like I know. | ||
I mean, I thought everyone saw these insane Extinction Rebellion videos. | ||
What are they doing? | ||
Can you Google this? | ||
Google protester. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
They super glue their hands. | ||
What is this crazy person doing? | ||
But they all do it. | ||
And I was like... | ||
What her name? | ||
Farhana... | ||
Oh goddammit, these pop-ups. | ||
No, there's so many more. | ||
There was one girl, so somebody tweeted about how his favorite image was a girl doing it and then not realizing that she had taken her backpack off yet. | ||
unidentified
|
So you see her like superglue her hand and then she goes... | |
And I'm like, why are you doing this? | ||
I don't understand what this is. | ||
She super glued herself to the shell headquarters, the concrete outside of shell headquarters. | ||
But can you imagine if you do that and then there's an earthquake and then you're just hanging by your super glued hand over the crack? | ||
But can you imagine when you want to get your hand back? | ||
No! | ||
Super glued, do not pull me. | ||
Oh my god, fuck you. | ||
Glued on. | ||
Do not try to move. | ||
They have little signs. | ||
How do they get their fucking glue off? | ||
Look at her. | ||
I don't know. | ||
That's what I was wondering. | ||
Why are they doing this? | ||
Fucking morons. | ||
Because they're morons. | ||
It just pisses everyone off. | ||
But you had that guy who had the dead bee on the cover of his book, right? | ||
Dead bee on the cover of his book. | ||
He wrote that book and it's all about the climate and I forgot. | ||
I just remember the cover because I was like, really? | ||
A dead bee? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Who was that again? | ||
That's dramatic. | ||
But he scared the fuck out of me. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Have you seen this bee? | ||
Look at that fucker. | ||
No. | ||
What is it? | ||
What kind of weird shit do you get? | ||
Well, that was actually Maynard from Tool sent me that. | ||
It's from his fucking vineyard. | ||
Oh, Jesus. | ||
That's one of them hornet wasps. | ||
unidentified
|
Tarantulas. | |
Tarantula hawk. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They kill tarantulas and lay their eggs inside of them. | ||
Yeah. | ||
One time... | ||
It's the size of that fucker. | ||
It's a goddamn bird. | ||
Yeah. | ||
No, I would be... | ||
He was telling me how gross they are and how huge they are. | ||
Then he fucking sent me one. | ||
I was like, alright. | ||
Yeah, no. | ||
He's like, what's your address? | ||
I'm like, what? | ||
This fucking comes in the mail. | ||
Yeah, you must get some weird stuff. | ||
Yeah, I get some weird stuff for sure. | ||
Yeah, I see all the pictures of the tattoos people get of you. | ||
Yeah, that's the weirdest thing. | ||
There's probably hundreds of tattoos of my face on people's bodies. | ||
What does that make you feel? | ||
Tell me how that makes you feel. | ||
Can we do this through FaceTime? | ||
unidentified
|
Being me... | |
It feels real. | ||
Like you would think, oh, you're used to it? | ||
Uh-uh. | ||
I'm not used to it at all. | ||
Being me is fucking strange. | ||
Like people that love me, people that hate me, all of it's weird. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Like all of it's weird. | ||
It's strange. | ||
All the attention. | ||
Every time people call my name, like I'm about to go on stage and people cheer, I'm like, really? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
It all feels strange. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It never feels real. | ||
And when did you start this? | ||
Podcast? | ||
Yeah. | ||
10 years ago in December. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, wow! | |
This December 24th, it'll be 10 years. | ||
Oh, that's amazing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And what have you learned the most from it over the year? | ||
Did you have any... | ||
Why did you start it? | ||
Just for a goof. | ||
Me and Brian Redband did it for fun. | ||
Because we used to do this thing we would do in the green rooms where we would... | ||
It was on a thing called Justin.tv. | ||
Justin.tv. | ||
And we would flip up this laptop and we'd talk to people in the green room of comedy clubs. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Just for fun. | ||
Okay. | ||
And then one day I was like, yeah, let's do it at my house. | ||
So he came over to my house and we did it and we were like, people would ask questions. | ||
There were like fucking literally like 10 people online or 100 people. | ||
Yeah, that was like pre, I mean, definitely podcast. | ||
We were doing that. | ||
There was some podcast back then. | ||
There was like Adam from MTV. What is his name again? | ||
Jamie? | ||
The guy? | ||
Adam Curry. | ||
Adam Curry was probably the first. | ||
And I think he actually invented the name podcast. | ||
unidentified
|
Mm. | |
And then Corolla in 2000, what year is this? | ||
Oh my gosh. | ||
This is 12 years ago in the green room at Irvine. | ||
Ah! | ||
Irvine Improv. | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
12 years ago. | ||
That is crazy. | ||
So this is what we used to do. | ||
We would be in the green room. | ||
Look at little Red Band! | ||
In between shows. | ||
Well, that was when Red Band had lost a ton of weight. | ||
Red Band broke up with his girlfriend and decided to get sexy. | ||
For you. | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's hard to tell. | ||
Just kill this. | ||
I don't want to see it myself. | ||
Look at that beautiful beard, though. | ||
So anyway, we decided to do these videos, just talking to people online. | ||
And then the next thing you know, we're like, yeah, let's do it next week. | ||
So we did it next week. | ||
Let's do it again. | ||
And then Brian was like, people are asking us to put this on iTunes. | ||
Like, okay, let's put it on iTunes. | ||
So we started putting them on iTunes. | ||
All right, let's do it every week. | ||
Let's do it every week. | ||
And then... | ||
It just, by complete, just sort of natural occurrences, by natural circumstances, it just snowballed. | ||
And then other guys started doing it. | ||
And then, you know, so many comics. | ||
How did it get to, like, this point? | ||
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
That's what I'm saying. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I think this thing has a life of its own. | ||
I think this thing, like this tarantula hawk, sticks a fucking needle in that tarantula's body and impregnates it with eggs. | ||
Technology impregnated me. | ||
It gave me this idea to do this. | ||
It forced me, and it found what I'm good at. | ||
And what I'm good at is talking to people, and I'm curious. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
So, like, if you can get me a place where I can sit down for three hours and ask a guy like Sean Carroll, Explain to me astrophysics. | ||
Explain to me quantum mechanics. | ||
Explain to me this. | ||
How do vaccines work? | ||
How does this work? | ||
How does that work? | ||
What is a propulsion? | ||
What makes the sun stay hot? | ||
Why does that work? | ||
How does the inner working of a cell phone... | ||
What is 5G? Is that bad for you? | ||
Is that giving you cancer? | ||
I've always been a person who asks a lot of questions and likes talking to people. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And you don't seem to be too... | ||
I feel very similar to you in this respect, is that I'm not trying to, like, get any... | ||
You know, just to have someone on and talk to them to be like, I gotcha! | ||
unidentified
|
No. | |
That's the last thing I want to do. | ||
I just want to hear people's perspective and their point of view and learn things. | ||
I mean, I laugh when I think of... | ||
When you're naming all these people, and I'm like, and then you have this moron! | ||
No, you're fun! | ||
unidentified
|
Come on, stop! | |
Who tweeted her way into the center of the culture war. | ||
I feel like I have gym teacher mouth right now. | ||
What does that mean? | ||
Like when you talk, you know, a while? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I always call it gym teacher mouth. | ||
No, you're fine. | ||
No worries at all. | ||
I'm going to get self-conscious. | ||
Don't. | ||
unidentified
|
You know, gym teachers always had that. | |
I never noticed until now. | ||
Do you know what she's saying? | ||
unidentified
|
I know exactly what she's saying. | |
We used to laugh as a team, like it would just fly around and hit people and shit. | ||
I feel like this is relatable. | ||
Joey Diaz gets that all the time, like a little white piece on his lips, and you're like, do I tell him? | ||
Let him talk. | ||
No, tell him. | ||
Oh, not Joey. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Let him talk. | ||
I don't want him to be self-conscious. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'd rather just stare at the white thing on his lips. | ||
No, I think it's cool, though, that you've had, in this time when everybody has these political abstractions or just two-dimensional abstractions, you seem to have actually hit that zeitgeist of desire. | ||
Because they're like, oh, everyone has a short attention span. | ||
I'm like, well, people are listening to Joe for like fucking 25 hours a day. | ||
I don't think people have short attention spans. | ||
I think that people can have short attention spans. | ||
Like, you can be distracted by a music video that constantly switches scenes over and over and over again. | ||
But some people like to sit down and watch a conversation. | ||
Like me. | ||
Don't get bored having long conversations. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
And enjoy them. | ||
And I think if you're not bored while you're having a long conversation, interesting conversation, the people that are listening won't get bored either. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
But if you're bored, they'll get bored. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So you have to be genuinely interested. | ||
That's why the beautiful thing about having a podcast where there's no one that's telling me, hey, you have to have this person on or this guy's got a movie coming out. | ||
I want you to have this person on. | ||
We're going to have this person on because she has an album out. | ||
There's none of that. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
Yeah. | ||
If I have someone on, like, hey, Gary Clark Jr.'s got a new album. | ||
I love that guy. | ||
Let's bring him in. | ||
It's always someone who I genuinely think is cool. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
So I have real interest in talking to them. | ||
And you get to just, I mean, it's just so funny how many, I was laughing because I'm like, I think a lot of my exes listen to you. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So this very moment right now is like the sweetest revenge of all. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
I think you had a joke about that where you're like, I'm sorry to the ladies who had to come because their boyfriends made them. | ||
I went to your set and it was literally like a central casting of Joe Rogan fans. | ||
I was the only one in the audience who didn't have a tattoo. | ||
I'm 100% sure of that. | ||
unidentified
|
Maybe not 100. Not 100. I wouldn't bet all your chips. | |
I wouldn't push all your chips out of that table. | ||
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me either. | ||
I'm the only person who didn't have a Joe Rogan tattoo. | ||
Could you imagine that? | ||
And they just hold up your face at you. | ||
Oh my god, it's on their wrists. | ||
They're going to slice it after I quit. | ||
No. | ||
Are you going to move? | ||
Are you staying in Cali? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I am preparing for this thing to fall apart, though. | ||
Fucking Palisades was on fire yesterday. | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
When the Palisades is on fire, that shit's rough. | ||
One of the things we were thinking about, like, hey, fucking all these fires over here in the valley, maybe we should move to the Palisades. | ||
No. | ||
And then the Palisades catch on fire. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
I heard it was our son. | ||
Did you hear that? | ||
I think I read that. | ||
I mean, I could be completely wrong. | ||
Let's not do any research at all. | ||
Don't even Google it. | ||
Let's spread that rumor. | ||
I heard it was incels. | ||
Incels that were mad at Dan Bilzerian's house. | ||
It was a Joker premiere in someone's private home. | ||
That's what it was. | ||
That's what it was. | ||
I'm not sure. | ||
I go back and forth. | ||
Where would you go? | ||
That's the thing. | ||
I love it here. | ||
I mean... | ||
You know what? | ||
I like Colorado. | ||
Yeah, I like Colorado a lot. | ||
It's a healthiest state. | ||
Is it really? | ||
I think it's the most fit state. | ||
Again, I can't be completely making this up. | ||
Fuck it. | ||
Let's run with it. | ||
Makes sense. | ||
I mean, you go like a place like Boulder. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Boulder, everybody's out there jogging, hiking and shit. | ||
I was just in Aspen. | ||
Fuck, it's gorgeous there. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
Rich people know what's up. | ||
Yeah, they're not stupid. | ||
They're rich. | ||
No, they know what's up. | ||
That's the place to go. | ||
Have you seen the prices for houses in Aspen? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's like they are trying to keep the riffraff out. | ||
Oh yeah, I mean, and you have to, when you do that dodgy fly-in, I love it. | ||
I love it. | ||
It is dodgy. | ||
I know a dude whose friends died in a plane. | ||
Flying into Aspen. | ||
Private Jack slammed into the mountain. | ||
Yeah, you're flying right into the... | ||
Snow out. | ||
There was a white out. | ||
Terrifying. | ||
And they fucked up. | ||
Hit the mountain. | ||
Couldn't pull up in time. | ||
I was like, I never been to Cabo until recently. | ||
And I was like, rich people know what's up. | ||
Yeah, they know what's up. | ||
Cabo's a wreck, though. | ||
Is it? | ||
Everyone's so drunk. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
It's so ridiculous. | ||
I was in the rich people part. | ||
Ah, there you go. | ||
I was off where Jennifer Aniston rents our house. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I have a buddy who owns a fat condo out there in Cabo. | ||
They go there all the time. | ||
It's special and magical. | ||
There were lots of whales. | ||
It is beautiful. | ||
It's gorgeous. | ||
Mexico's fucking amazing. | ||
And the food. | ||
Did you see what's going on right now in Sinaloa? | ||
The Sinaloa cartels? | ||
What part of it? | ||
Culiacon? | ||
I forget what part of Mexico. | ||
How do you keep track of all this shit? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I don't know. | ||
Like, in between all of these interviews and all the stuff you do and working out and hunting elk for dinner... | ||
Well, this is all over the news, though. | ||
And my friend Ed Calderon, who's been on the podcast before, he actually... | ||
He runs, like, the Mexican anti-cartel... | ||
He's, like, one of those anti-cartel military guys. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Okay. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And he explained a lot of, like, what's going on down there. | ||
What's going on? | ||
Well, they arrested El Chapo's son... | ||
Oh, I did see that in the news. | ||
There was a gunfight. | ||
Many parts of Mexico, the government has surrendered in a fight against cartels. | ||
unidentified
|
It's nuts! | |
It's lawless, yeah. | ||
Although, the cartels have unlimited amounts of money because they're selling drugs to white people. | ||
Yeah, white people need to stop doing drugs. | ||
White people here in America are buying all the cartels cocaine and meth. | ||
Yeah, if you care about Mexico, stop doing drugs. | ||
Stop it. | ||
That's like all the hippies. | ||
I always laugh hysterically when they're super gluing themselves and getting all high. | ||
I'm like, do you have any idea? | ||
I've worked on these farms. | ||
I see what they do to the environment. | ||
You're not exactly helping the environment with your weed habit. | ||
No offense to all the weed smokers. | ||
I love you. | ||
Well, any large-scale agriculture is devastating to the environment. | ||
It's so sad what's happening with big weed up there. | ||
I can't believe you called it big weed. | ||
It is big weed. | ||
It is! | ||
You don't think it is? | ||
I'm sure it is, but that expression, big weed, is so hilarious. | ||
Weed is an industry now. | ||
It is! | ||
Because I worked up in the farms for the transition, so I worked from when it was mom and pop just places, and now they're paving over some of the most fertile soil in freaking Oregon or California so they can put these huge domes, they give off all those lights, so they can build... | ||
It's fucked up! | ||
It's fucked. | ||
It's big weed. | ||
Anytime you have large-scale agriculture, animals and the environment get fucked over. | ||
Yeah. | ||
This is something that, like, vegans hate hearing this. | ||
But if you're buying grain, you're buying grain most likely from large-scale agriculture and that shit is fucking terrible for animals. | ||
Terrible for the environment. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Terrible for, like, you're not supposed to have thousands of acres of all one thing. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
You're not supposed to have that. | ||
That's not normal. | ||
You can't have thousands of acres of corn. | ||
I always used to laugh because they would rewash the little plastic Ziploc baggies at the farm. | ||
They'd be like, we're going to recycle these. | ||
And there would be huge entire piles of deer netting that you use to keep the colas up. | ||
Just piles of plastic. | ||
I'm like, okay, guys. | ||
I'm not sure. | ||
Do they use pesticides? | ||
Not at the place where I was. | ||
That's good. | ||
But it was a lot of like the teas they make, you know, to like boost these things. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
I mean, it's crazy. | ||
What's the teas? | ||
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
It's like they use all these different things like fertilizers and different, and they make these huge batches of teas that they use to fertilize. | ||
unidentified
|
Tea? | |
Like tea, like Lipton tea? | ||
It's not tea. | ||
It's like, they just call it tea. | ||
And it's like a booster for the... | ||
Just nutrients, essentially. | ||
Yeah, basically, yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
And it boosts the THC? Yeah, and it boosts just the, you know... | |
This is all, like, outdoor. | ||
It's so interesting that like in the 1990s when I first came here, you had to have a license. | ||
I think it was like 94, 95, it became legal. | ||
And I didn't start smoking until 98. What became legal? | ||
Legal, medically. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, okay. | |
Is that long ago? | ||
Yeah, I think it was, I want to say it was 95. What year was marijuana medically legal? | ||
I think it's 90. James is a motherfucker with that Google. | ||
He Googles better than any man that's ever lived. | ||
I think it's 94. I think 94 they passed the medical marijuana laws. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
96. 96. So I started smoking in 98. I came here in 94. I started smoking in 98. And back then, it was still sketchy. | ||
You smoked for the first time in 98? | ||
No, I smoked a handful of times when I was young. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
Between the time, I was like... | ||
14 and 30, I might have smoked pot. | ||
I don't think it was 10 times. | ||
So you didn't really start smoking until you were 30? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Oh, wow. | ||
I didn't even think it was 10 times. | ||
How do you feel in your sober October? | ||
What are the biggest differences that you notice, or do you notice any? | ||
I feel great. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Do you feel... | ||
The booze is what gets you. | ||
Booze slows you down. | ||
unidentified
|
Definitely. | |
For sure. | ||
I feel way better without a couple of drinks. | ||
But I like a couple of drinks. | ||
I enjoy it. | ||
So it's like the balancing act of... | ||
I wish I could have a couple of drinks. | ||
I don't see the point. | ||
I don't... | ||
You want a bucket. | ||
Well, I just don't see the point. | ||
It's like decaf coffee. | ||
You don't see the point of a couple of drinks? | ||
No, because I want to get... | ||
You're ready to go party. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
And I was saying this before we came out. | ||
I'm like, I wish I could just smoke weed because I did that. | ||
So for most of my 20s, I did everything to avoid having to get sober again. | ||
And a lot of my 30s. | ||
And I definitely was trying to manage it. | ||
And there were years where I just smoked weed and didn't drink. | ||
But what happens to me is that it'll be a gorgeous day like this. | ||
And I'll be down in Venice. | ||
And I'll smoke some weed. | ||
And then maybe I'll get a little racy. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
Because the weed is racy. | ||
And then I want to balance it out with that gorgeous-looking half from On the Waterfront. | ||
And next thing you know, I'm doing lines in the townhouse. | ||
Like, that's where it goes every time for me. | ||
Do you think that there's, like, a well-oiled groove that's in your brain that once you get some substances in there, like, woo! | ||
unidentified
|
You know what to do here. | |
I wonder what it is because it's interesting because so many... | ||
This is why I love 12 Step, because no one fucking wants to be there. | ||
And they're some of the funniest places ever. | ||
And then I'll hear people come talk about 12 Step and how it doesn't work and blah, blah, blah. | ||
And I'm like, it works for a lot of people. | ||
And every time I go, I get to listen to essentially some fucked up story that turned into a miracle. | ||
Like, some guy who was like, and then I had hookers, and then I was jailed, and then now, like, and you've been sober, and you're, like, an upstanding. | ||
Like, these rooms are filled with people who would be menaces to society, myself included. | ||
I came out of a blackout driving on the 405. Yeah, it was one of the hands-down most terrifying moments of my life. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And I had been at Universal Studios, so I had driven all the way from Universal to the 405, getting on the 10. You didn't even know how you got there. | ||
I had no recollection. | ||
Apparently, I had been out with a bunch of people, and I got scared when I was at the bar because there were these guys following me around. | ||
I was out with a bunch of poker high rollers, and I made alcoholism look amazing. | ||
I did. | ||
You know what's crazy? | ||
But they were security guards. | ||
I didn't know this. | ||
People love it when you can get off drugs. | ||
That's one addiction that people take very seriously and they're happy for you when you get off of drugs or alcohol. | ||
But if you get off of gambling... | ||
Nobody gives a fuck. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Nobody gives a fuck. | ||
Well, some people do. | ||
I mean, it's funny because I've helped four people quit smoking weed in the past year, and it is gnarly. | ||
And part of the problem, I know you give me this. | ||
Skeptical hippo face. | ||
I know, I know, I know. | ||
You don't want to hear it. | ||
But these are people who were really addicted to it, and they couldn't stop. | ||
Physically? | ||
Or mentally? | ||
Well, I think the physical part you get over. | ||
It's just that... | ||
They wanted to be... | ||
It's insidious because you get laughed at. | ||
They wanted that fuzzy distance? | ||
Yeah! | ||
The fuzzy distance. | ||
And it's easy! | ||
And it's like, for me, what I noticed was that it was like this weed glass kind of ceiling made of smoke. | ||
And once I quit smoking weed... | ||
I was suicidally depressed for two years. | ||
Like two years? | ||
I smoked for 20 years in my developmental teenage years. | ||
I don't think I had any- It took you two years to get- I mean, it's an oil. | ||
Straighten it out? | ||
I think it gets in your fat. | ||
I hear that before I do. | ||
I don't think there's any real logic to that. | ||
No, I don't think there's any science. | ||
No. | ||
I just know from my experience that it took me a while to get back online. | ||
Got it. | ||
And I felt like I was having a hard time kind of boosting up to like where I'm naturally like a happy girl. | ||
I wake up and I'm like, tra-la-la, but for the two first years I got sober, it was gnarly. | ||
It was ugly. | ||
I think there's different people. | ||
I mean, I'm just joking around about them not being addicted. | ||
I think there's people that get addicted to a lot of things. | ||
Well, it's been... | ||
The problem is that people don't take it seriously. | ||
So they'll be like, oh yeah, that's not a real addiction. | ||
Well, because it doesn't kill anybody. | ||
So when someone says that I'm addicted to pot, you're like, ah, get over it. | ||
But it's like you won't do... | ||
But so you don't do anything. | ||
You know, I'm like, yeah, you won't do anything. | ||
You won't kill anybody. | ||
You just won't do anything. | ||
And... | ||
I think from my experience, the clarity that I got is kind of priceless. | ||
I mean, I used to write this stuff and think that I was just so funny or so insightful, and it was like, what the fuck was that? | ||
That's the most embarrassing thing when you write something high and you think it's good. | ||
I'm going to come back and read my journals that I wrote when I was high and thought I was so insightful. | ||
And you can tell I'm just high and drunk, thinking that I'm being so insightful. | ||
But occasionally you'll get gems. | ||
Occasionally marijuana will let a little fucking air through and you're like, oh, what is this I found? | ||
I miss it. | ||
I was saying that the addict in me, it's the thing I love the most. | ||
I've always loved it the most. | ||
And the addict in me, I'm like, I'm worried I'm going to give myself cancer so that I need to see it out. | ||
Like, subconsciously. | ||
And then when I got sober, I did get cancer. | ||
I got basal cell. | ||
Did you really? | ||
Yeah, but basal cell, like, is... | ||
I was like, I guess I need to smoke weed. | ||
Now my friend's like, it's basal cell, Bridget. | ||
Like, it's not real cancer. | ||
What is basal cell? | ||
It's, um, I don't know. | ||
It's like the... | ||
It's a type of skin cancer? | ||
It's skin cancer, but it's like the least... | ||
I have a scar here. | ||
It's like the least... | ||
Dangerous. | ||
Yeah, it's kind of a joke. | ||
I mean, maybe... | ||
unidentified
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Joke? | |
Didn't it kill Bob Marley? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Maybe I'll Google this and find out it kills millions of people, but my doctor made practically a joke of it. | ||
It's kind of like the Beto O'Rourke of skin cancer. | ||
Oh, that guy. | ||
It wants a lot of attention, but it's completely ineffective. | ||
That guy's adorable. | ||
No, he's... | ||
His name is so close to Beta, too. | ||
I know, Beta. | ||
And he is. | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
I know. | ||
Do you think that he's just using his father-in-law's money? | ||
Well, he definitely is doing that, right? | ||
Isn't he? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I have no evidence. | ||
I think he's a crazy guy who thinks he can be president. | ||
I'm starting rumors on JoeRogan.com. | ||
Let's keep starting rumors. | ||
I think he started the fire in the Palisades. | ||
He probably gave me cancer, too. | ||
He gave me skin cancer. | ||
Yeah, he's the one who made you drink. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
He provided the lines of the condo. | ||
I do, I do. | ||
Sometimes, like, I watch your podcast and it's like, fuck, I wish I could just go drink whiskey with the boys like I used to and, like, go travel the world. | ||
I was in Sri Lanka partying and it was in... | ||
Did you ever have a good night partying, though, where it all worked out? | ||
All the time, yeah. | ||
Okay, and you had a good night where it didn't go off the rails? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
Maybe you're not an alcoholic. | ||
No. | ||
unidentified
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No. | |
I do a whole stand-up routine about how when I quit drinking, my family gave me like a reverse intervention. | ||
Because my family's all so, they're so, there's a little cute aunt. | ||
It's like an Irish Catholic huge family. | ||
It's just part of the culture. | ||
And they were like, we're worried about you. | ||
You're not drinking enough. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
What are you, pregnant? | ||
What are you, soba? | ||
Yeah, what are you, soba? | ||
Oh wait, are you going to get vegan now, Bridge? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
You're going to start using condoms? | ||
What are you going to do? | ||
Save the whales? | ||
You stop using plastic straws? | ||
Yep, yep. | ||
You fucking lip tides out there. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, I think there's people that can't do stuff. | ||
There's people that can. | ||
I wish I could. | ||
I tried. | ||
But you seem to be having a good time. | ||
I'm still nuts. | ||
All the second wife stuff happened in sobriety. | ||
That was like a crazy time. | ||
It wasn't like college. | ||
I was like 37 years old. | ||
It seemed like you had a little sidetrack. | ||
No big deal. | ||
I'm grateful. | ||
It's a miracle that I did make it to getting sober. | ||
Like, when I look from 20 to 35, I mean, even those years when I moved back, when I was here at 19 in the Valley, it was just a lot of playing dominoes and doom blow late into the night. | ||
Dominoes! | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
All night. | ||
With a bunch of, like, D-list, like, porn stars. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
And a lawyer who dealt us all of our blow. | ||
Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
And from that to dating a really rich dude and being all over Europe and drinking Dom everywhere and being in San Tropez. | ||
I was like, I've always joked. | ||
I've made it look amazing. | ||
And people are like, why'd you quit? | ||
Why'd you quit, Bridget? | ||
And they want to hear some story like, I killed someone in a drunk driving accident. | ||
Something that they can... | ||
And I'm like, I was just dying inside. | ||
Like, something in me knew that I could do better. | ||
There's like a little voice that always knew. | ||
Sure. | ||
And part of it was being in rehab at 19. It wasn't like I had evidence. | ||
There's plenty of hints. | ||
Yeah! | ||
Yeah. | ||
I mean, I can't imagine me on Twitter in 2016 with alcohol and drugs. | ||
I'd be banned. | ||
I'd be canceled. | ||
And I'd be banned. | ||
You could just say you had a problem with substances and now you're clean. | ||
You were sick. | ||
No, I would have been banned from Twitter, for sure. | ||
So you start a new account. | ||
A lot of people do that. | ||
I don't know. | ||
I'm grateful you do Sober October because it does make me feel. | ||
It's like the one month that I can safely not watch your podcast and not be like white knuckling. | ||
I'm enjoying it. | ||
It's not bothering me at all. | ||
I like a glass of wine with meals. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I miss that too. | ||
I never had one glass of wine. | ||
I like a cold beer on a hot day, but I'm not having a problem. | ||
I like it. | ||
You know, and I'm just working out a lot. | ||
I think, too, knowing there's an end makes it easier. | ||
It does, but one thing that I'm seeing is the way I feel. | ||
Like, when I do shows at night, like tonight I have two shows, tomorrow I have two shows, and I know I'm not going to be drinking either show. | ||
So I know when I wake up in the morning, I'm going to feel good. | ||
And do you notice a difference in your show? | ||
Is there a difference in your shows? | ||
A little bit, yeah. | ||
Yeah, I mean, I probably am more coherent. | ||
My timing's probably a little better. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
I don't know, but then maybe I'm not as loose. | ||
But by the end of the month, like right now, I'm the 20th. | ||
You know, it's the 22nd. | ||
It's all gravy. | ||
Do you think that your audience would turn on you if you were ever like, I'm done! | ||
No, it would be fine. | ||
Nobody gives a fuck what you do. | ||
It's true. | ||
You could be sober or not. | ||
So as long as you're funny, if you're doing well, if like the people are coming to see you and you're putting in the work and they're laughing, they're having a good time, you're putting on a good show, they're not going to be mad at you. | ||
Bridget, I've got to wrap this up. | ||
It's 3 o'clock. | ||
It's been amazing. | ||
We did it! | ||
We did it! | ||
We'll do it again. | ||
Thank you for having me. | ||
My pleasure. | ||
We'll do it again, for sure. | ||
Tell people your Twitter handle. | ||
Oh, at Bridget Phetasy. | ||
You can find me... | ||
Spell that out. | ||
B-R-I-D-G-E-T-P-H-E-T-A-S-Y. You can find my Walk-Ins Welcome podcast on anywhere. | ||
And I have the weekly dumpster fire show on YouTube, which is bananas. | ||
Yay! | ||
unidentified
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Thank you. | |
My pleasure. | ||
Thanks for doing this. | ||
It was fun. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Bye everybody. | ||
Bye. | ||
That was so fun. |