July 11, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:30:17
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Ian Edwards, ever the contrarian, shows up with an Android phone drinking tea. | ||
| Crazy! | ||
| You just followed no rules, man. | ||
| Still vegan, baby. | ||
| Sorta. | ||
| You had some french fries with David Lee Roth that were made with clearly some animal fat. | ||
| Jamie, you were there. | ||
| What did you see? | ||
| I saw a french fry or two. | ||
| Disappeared in my life. | ||
| Listen, at that MGM Steakhouse, they ain't cooking those french fries in anything other than animal fat. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| They're too delicious. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| Even at McDonald's, if you get McDonald's fries, apparently they cook them in some fucking disgusting fat. | ||
| Well, that's what makes them taste so good. | ||
| What does make McDonald fries taste good? | ||
| They're pretty good, but they're not my favorite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're not? | |
| I get confused when people say they're better than In-N-Out fries. | ||
| I like fries that taste like potatoes. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| In-N-Out fries are far superior. | ||
| I don't like fries that taste like potatoes. | ||
| How dare you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is the most upset I've ever seen Jamie in all my years working with him! | |
| Is In-N-Out fries better than McDonald's? | ||
| I do personally feel... | ||
| You know who I had beef with that about? | ||
| Candy Alexander from NewsRadio. | ||
| She was the first person to... | ||
| We went and got In-N-Out for the whole group of us. | ||
| And she got McDonald's fries. | ||
| She went and got McDonald's fries. | ||
| I'm like, why'd you get McDonald's fries? | ||
| She's like, fuck those bullshit fries. | ||
| Those In-N-Out fries. | ||
| I'm like, what?! | ||
| I didn't understand. | ||
| They can be okay, but they're so hit or miss that they can miss bad. | ||
| To me, they're remarkably consistent. | ||
| They always taste like potatoes. | ||
| What are we discussing here? | ||
| Fries are remarkably... | ||
| It's like wine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remarkably... | |
| Well, still, they can't fuck with Five Guys fries. | ||
| Five guys are the king of fries. | ||
| For real? | ||
| Yes, they have two options. | ||
| They're real. | ||
| They have the fucking potatoes in bags sitting in their goddamn store just to let you know, bitch, we're using these potatoes. | ||
| And then they take that bag and shake it in there and cut it up. | ||
| They have Cajun fries. | ||
| So they win. | ||
| You have another option. | ||
| You got spicy fries that are goddamn delicious. | ||
| Might have to stop by there. | ||
| And then you don't have to crack packets to get your ketchup. | ||
| They have a giant tub of the ketchup. | ||
| You squirt that bitch in a nice little cup, a little paper cup. | ||
| You can shower it in ketchup. | ||
| McDonald's had that. | ||
| Homeless people would be under it. | ||
| Squirt mustard in their mouth. | ||
| I'll tell you what, man. | ||
| Since Starbucks got in trouble for being racist, there's a lot more homeless people at Starbucks. | ||
| Like, they understand now. | ||
| They could just go there. | ||
| It's really odd. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| They can't get kicked out. | ||
| They can't get kicked out. | ||
| Everybody's afraid. | ||
| Dude, it's 100% different. | ||
| 100% different in some spots. | ||
| Which ones are you going to? | ||
| Because the ones in Hollywood, they know how to handle it for the most part. | ||
| They got locks on everything. | ||
| I went to a shifty one in downtown where they don't even have a bathroom. | ||
| Like, how are you serving coffee if you don't have a bathroom? | ||
| Coffee makes you shit and piss. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| But I realized they didn't have a bathroom because of the homeless people. | ||
| There was homeless people that had, like, this guy had a port and he was charging all of his devices. | ||
| He had everything. | ||
| He had, like, a phone, a fucking iPad. | ||
| He's got a long night ahead of him. | ||
| But they get free electricity there. | ||
| So he's got a bag of his stuff. | ||
| He's got a little camp in the corner of the Starbucks. | ||
| I'm like, wow. | ||
| On one hand, like, hey, how's a guy supposed to get some electricity? | ||
| I want him to get back up on his feet. | ||
| Maybe this is the way to do it. | ||
| Maybe it's through that iPad. | ||
| On the other hand, I'm like, hey, don't give me a disease, you fucking... | ||
| I got hit to this Instagram account yesterday, Street People of Los Angeles, which has got some very interesting content. | ||
| Is that a naked person? | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| A naked person just changing on the street? | ||
| Changing on the street. | ||
| That was actually in San Francisco, I think. | ||
| I remember checking that post. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This has got some interesting stuff. | ||
| These guys were cooking underneath a tree with a live grill somewhere. | ||
| There's a Tommy's in Hollywood. | ||
| Sorry, go ahead. | ||
| There's always a bunch of young homeless people cooking in front of it. | ||
| There's a bus stop. | ||
| They have a lit fire. | ||
| Like, cavemen. | ||
| Like, fear of the walking dead style. | ||
| Campfire. | ||
| Like, outside of the Tommies on Hollywood Boulevard. | ||
| Like, on a daily basis. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| It's just weird that that's okay. | ||
| Like, if you just wanted to start a fire... | ||
| On the side of the road. | ||
| Would that be okay? | ||
| No. | ||
| But can you certify her to cook? | ||
| Apparently. | ||
| Can you? | ||
| Or did they just not get busted? | ||
| Probably need a permit. | ||
| Yeah, I think you need something. | ||
| To be like a grill street vendor type permit. | ||
| If you wanted to sell. | ||
| What if you just wanted to give food away? | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You can't, but you can eat it yourself. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Could you offer it to somebody? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It seems like you could offer it to somebody. | ||
| Like, you know, if they allow you to cook, and you and I were sitting there and we're cooking, and I said, would you like some? | ||
| And you said, sure, that looks good. | ||
| That should be okay. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a donation. | ||
| You know, some places, they don't charge you to get in, but they accept a donation. | ||
| But what if you plan in advance? | ||
| You say, hey, all of us meet on the corner of 3rd and Santa Monica. | ||
| I'm going to have a cookout. | ||
| And where's your house? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no, no, no. | |
| No house, son. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| We're just setting up right here on the concrete. | ||
| Yeah, those people should just go to a park that has those grills. | ||
| Griffith Park is not far. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Griffith Park is like people with homes cook there. | ||
| Yeah, they got free grills. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could just do it up there. | ||
| Anybody can cook there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is one of the nicest parts of LA, by the way. | ||
| And if people don't know, that is a fucking wildlife area. | ||
| That's a legit wildlife area. | ||
| There is a real predator, prey, fucking law of the jungle thing going down right now in Griffith Park. | ||
| It's mountain lions and deer. | ||
| And it is going down every day. | ||
| And coyotes. | ||
| You are doing all your stuff. | ||
| It's a really amazing place, right? | ||
| Because here we are. | ||
| We got Pasadena and Glendale and Burbank and LA. You know, beautiful fucking BMWs driving by. | ||
| Everything's cool. | ||
| People are jogging. | ||
| They got ear pods in. | ||
| They're jogging in Griffith Park. | ||
| They're jogging right near a war zone. | ||
| There's a war zone. | ||
| Bush is rustling sometimes because I live around the corner and I'm like... | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Like, I'm on... | ||
| I'm staying paying attention 100%. | ||
| We got a giant framed picture headed to the studio of this mountain lion that was photographed by a camera trap. | ||
| You know what a camera trap is? | ||
| Nah. | ||
| They set them up to monitor the numbers of wildlife and to just try to get an accurate assessment of what's in the area. | ||
| So what it is is like a camera. | ||
| That's the photo. | ||
| It's a camera that operates... | ||
| On motion detection. | ||
| So as this cat, this probably 150-pound, super muscular, grown-ass mountain lion with a fucking collar on his neck, his name is P-22. | ||
| That's what it says up there? | ||
| It's about 119 pounds as of May. | ||
| Okay, so it's not quite that big. | ||
| So it's still big enough to kill everyone in this room. | ||
| If it's in the room with us, we're fucked. | ||
| But look how muscular it is. | ||
| I mean, that is a... | ||
| Look at the size of its goddamn forearms. | ||
| Those are Franco Colombo forearms. | ||
| That is a terrifying animal. | ||
| And that animal lives around where all these people are jogging. | ||
| It's a really strange situation. | ||
| Yeah, I'm never going to Griffith Park again. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| It's a It's a great park. | ||
| They don't fuck with people. | ||
| Till I saw P125. I'm out. | ||
| Stay in my house, bro. | ||
| Look at the Hollywood sign behind it, though. | ||
| It's so perfect. | ||
| It's almost like a fake picture. | ||
| That is so close to me. | ||
| Yeah, so close to you. | ||
| I went to the park. | ||
| I'm like a block and a half away from that joint. | ||
| Dude, I run with a knife. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I run with this fucking half-faced blades knife. | ||
| It's called the S-H-P-O-S. Subhuman piece of shit. | ||
| That's what the name of the knife is. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| So they caught him here. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He's got blood and bones. | ||
| He's eating something. | ||
| That must be like a deer leg. | ||
| Fucking A, that is madness. | ||
| He's digging a hole in the ground to stuff it in there to save it. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Because you know what? | ||
| The deer around there are really comfortable. | ||
| Yeah, but that could be a kid, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| 100% could be a kid. | ||
| But I know why he's there because the deer in that neighborhood, like they walk around in the daytime like they're tourists too. | ||
| Because there's no hunting around there. | ||
| So they're like all comfortable and shit. | ||
| I think people probably feed them too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So then now that's like... | ||
| Oh, let me track these motherfuckers over to this area and I'll just have a feast. | ||
| It's a buffet night. | ||
| Look at this shit. | ||
| It's on Mulholland Drive. | ||
| It's on Mulholland Drive. | ||
| There's a grown-ass mountain lion with a collar on that's got a giant deer on the ground. | ||
| A buck. | ||
| Not giant. | ||
| It's probably a hundred pound deer. | ||
| On the ground. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dead. | |
| On the side of the city street. | ||
| This is civilization? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Civilization. | ||
| And this is a cat that's killing deer with its face. | ||
| That's where we live. | ||
| And not only that, we know where it is. | ||
| We have a collar on it. | ||
| We're playing this game. | ||
| You don't fuck with us, we won't fuck with you. | ||
| And they won't fuck with you for the most part. | ||
| The problem comes when they get old. | ||
| When they get old, they get real dangerous. | ||
| Because they get desperate. | ||
| They can't catch a deer anymore. | ||
| So they go for the easy kill. | ||
| They go for people. | ||
| People are easy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, your kids are easy. | ||
| I'm going to go hiking with somebody slow. | ||
| That's a move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go hiking with a small, slow person. | ||
| Someone who just doesn't look like a challenge at all. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Survival of the fittest. | ||
| Go smoking with someone who's smoking. | ||
| Just smoking the meat makes it more attractive. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| What if What we eat affects how we taste. | ||
| It's got it, right? | ||
| So maybe people who are really into junk food, they'd be more attractive. | ||
| They have a sweet taste to them. | ||
| I bet, right? | ||
| If you just eat candy all day, I bet you'd taste delicious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The human Skittle. | ||
| Attack the human Skittle over here. | ||
| Leave me alone. | ||
| That fucking cat is so big, man. | ||
| Imagine just seeing a 115-pound cat in the room with you. | ||
| You'd be like, oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Like, my dog is probably... | ||
| Maybe 75, 80 pounds, somewhere in that range. | ||
| He's not a... | ||
| Marshall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if he wanted to kill me, he probably could. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, he's a golden retriever. | ||
| They don't kill anything other than squirrels. | ||
| But if he wanted to, I mean, I don't know. | ||
| If he had that mentality. | ||
| If he really was like crazed, like... | ||
| Like 28 days later, he got that rage virus in him, and he just went after me. | ||
| He's got giant-ass fucking teeth. | ||
| I mean, I assume that I would kick his ass because he listens to me, because I'm his daddy. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I've had pit bulls that growl at you a little bit, and you've got to kind of like, hey, motherfucker, I'm the one who gives you your food. | ||
| Cut the shit. | ||
| And then they give you their paw, and then they're sorry. | ||
| You play a little game with them, a little dominance game. | ||
| Especially when they're teenagers, and they're like one and a half, two years old, they'll test you. | ||
| Because it's natural for them. | ||
| It's natural for dogs. | ||
| Goldens don't ever do that. | ||
| He don't growl at anybody. | ||
| They're just obedient. | ||
| He's the worst guard dog of all time. | ||
| You come over everybody, he loves everybody. | ||
| He loves you. | ||
| He loves people like he's never met them, but he can't believe he hasn't seen them in so long. | ||
| It's like a long-lost friend. | ||
| He loves burglars. | ||
| They're long-lost friends. | ||
| Everyone's a long-lost friend. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Everyone. | ||
| Everyone is a long-lost friend. | ||
| It is. | ||
| That's what it's like with him. | ||
| He's such a love sponge. | ||
| I would be jealous if that's my dog. | ||
| I'm like, so I'm not special? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Just that motherfucker? | ||
| That's how dogs are. | ||
| Like, really friendly dogs. | ||
| Every new person is another opportunity for a new person to love them, too. | ||
| And so they get so excited to meet people. | ||
| Smart. | ||
| Dude, when people come over the house, he's so hilarious. | ||
| He loves everybody. | ||
| Like, I can't believe it's you! | ||
| And they're like, I never even met your dog! | ||
| It's like, it's you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You idiot! | |
| This is amazing! | ||
| And he just starts whining and running around in circles. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| But if you wanted to, you could probably kill me. | ||
| I mean, if a rat was that big, I would fucking put my money on the rat. | ||
| On the rat? | ||
| Right? | ||
| And dogs kill rats all the time. | ||
| Even those little dogs, like Jack Russell's, those little tiny dogs, those are designed to kill rats. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| My ex had a dog, right? | ||
| And I was holding a dog, and she got into a car right across the street and moved it, and then got out of the car. | ||
| And the dog acted like... | ||
| He didn't just see her jump in the car. | ||
| He acted like she went away for two days. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought you were going to leave me! | |
| I was like, she just moved the car across. | ||
| We watched her do it. | ||
| Do you remember when we had Mr. Foster, Aaron Foster, on the podcast and he was talking about being able to kill a wolf? | ||
| You wanted to fight one. | ||
| We had to correct him. | ||
| We had to go press stop. | ||
| Just don't. | ||
| I know you're a beast, but come on, man. | ||
| We're people. | ||
| We're made out of smush. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything's smushy. | ||
| It's all so soft. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Something that wants to bite your tit, like if a wolf decided to bite your tit, the amount of pain that you'd be in would be unbearable. | ||
| I know, you feel like one of those buns that they give you at the steakhouse. | ||
| That's what your flesh feels like. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like a steakhouse bun bread. | ||
| Look at his fucking... | ||
| Aaron Foster spent four hours on Twitter explaining why he'd beat a wolf one-on-one. | ||
| It is hilarious. | ||
| Isn't he doing a podcast now? | ||
| Yeah, he's got his own podcast. | ||
| He started doing music, which is really good. | ||
| He just released some music under, I think, Bobby Fino's name. | ||
| He's a running back. | ||
| Yeah, he was running back. | ||
| He's a vegan running back. | ||
| He retired young, and he's fucking super smart, man. | ||
| Except when it comes to wolves. | ||
| I think he's trolling a little bit. | ||
| He's having a little fun. | ||
| He's being smart. | ||
| There's like a wolf he could get. | ||
| Not any wolf, but there's one out there he could take. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He could fuck up an old one. | ||
| A declawed one with no teeth. | ||
| grandma wolf old one that doesn't have any endurance anymore he it would be a battle though even then before we get too far off of this I just those pictures on the yacht Google images sent me down this this is just north of the Los Angeles Zoo so there's a I think this might even be that same trap we just saw so this chap cougar has some food it's eating and then next picture the bears show up to take it and now they're eating the fucking food instead of the Oh my god. | ||
| So this is near us too? | ||
| This is 30 miles away. | ||
| Or probably even closer. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| So bears steal deer from cougars. | ||
| This is what happens when liberals run a state. | ||
| Listen, folks, I'm liberal. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| I know a lot of you think I'm not. | ||
| There's a lot of knuckleheads out there that think I'm a part of the alt-right or something. | ||
| I vote left on fucking everything. | ||
| But you gotta stop anthropomorphizing animals. | ||
| We gotta be careful. | ||
| I'm on team people. | ||
| I don't want these animals to die. | ||
| But I also don't want to go out to my fucking swimming pool and see a bear in there. | ||
| And they have that in Pasadena. | ||
| Have you seen that shit in Pasadena? | ||
| This family went outside and there was a fucking bear swimming around their pool. | ||
| They got bears in Pasadena? | ||
| Bro! | ||
| Big ones. | ||
| Like a 200 pound bear swimming in this motherfucker's pool. | ||
| Do I live here? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit. | |
| How do I know this shit? | ||
| Not only that, you gotta take over, man. | ||
| If they decide that this is their spot, look at this shit. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Look at this, a few of them! | ||
| It's got the whole fam in there. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| How many bears are in there? | ||
| Three, I think. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Dude. | ||
| These things are no joke. | ||
| The problem with bears is, too, once they get a spot where they know they can get food, or they can get water, or they can get something, they're going to come back to that spot. | ||
| They get habituated. | ||
| That's why they have a real problem with people at Yellowstone used to feed them. | ||
| People would pull in, and then I actually did that, or was there when that happened, when I was a little kid. | ||
| I went to Yellowstone. | ||
| My parents took me when I was probably like seven or eight years old. | ||
| And I remember just thinking, this is so crazy. | ||
| You're in your car and the bears are outside. | ||
| They're right there. | ||
| They don't do it the same way anymore, though. | ||
| Now they discourage human-bear interaction. | ||
| They just didn't understand it, I think, as well, which is kind of crazy because that was not that long ago. | ||
| It was like the 1970s. | ||
| I just don't understand people's like for ferocious animals. | ||
| I don't want to kill them, but I never want to feed something that could kill me. | ||
| Well, I think people have this really distorted idea of wildlife because of movies. | ||
| If you thought about what the Lion King is, you would never want a lion to die. | ||
| You know, Lion is noble. | ||
| I mean, sure, there's a few bad ones, but overall, the Lion King, he's the sweetheart. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| You think about Yogi Bear, and you think about teddy bears. | ||
| Kids have teddy bears. | ||
| I mean, we have this weird thing. | ||
| We take polar bears, which is the most vicious of all bears, and we have them be our friends selling us ice cream and Coca-Cola. | ||
| They're selling Klondike bars. | ||
| Yeah, we cartoon them. | ||
| And then people grow up watching these cartoons and think, oh, let me go pet this friendly thing that was drawn. | ||
| But that's a ferocious beast. | ||
| Yeah, I wish it didn't have a history. | ||
| If we just thought of it as a thing, like a wolverine. | ||
| Wolverines don't have any... | ||
| No one feels about a wolverine the same way they think about a bear. | ||
| Because there's no cute wolverines. | ||
| There's only the ones that you see in X-Men or... | ||
| Like the Wolverine dude. | ||
| It's just one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's like a person. | ||
| His name's Wolverine. | ||
| There's no cute Wolverines because they're so fucking ferocious. | ||
| Such a monster of a little animal. | ||
| One Wolverine will fuck up a big bear. | ||
| Oh, for real? | ||
| Dude, they're fucking ruthless. | ||
| They chase wolves off food. | ||
| How big are Wolverines? | ||
| Not big, man. | ||
| 40 pounds? | ||
| 50 pounds? | ||
| Jeez. | ||
| They'll fuck up everything. | ||
| They fuck up everything. | ||
| Everything runs away from them. | ||
| They're just ready to die. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All day. | ||
| All day ready to die. | ||
| And they're super strong and durable for a little tiny thing. | ||
| You know what a wolverine looks like? | ||
| Pull up a wolverine bearing his fangs. | ||
| It looks like a fake animal. | ||
| It looks like a super jacked little giant rat bear thing with fangs. | ||
| It's like a super badger. | ||
| Badgers are very similar. | ||
| And badgers are vicious. | ||
| I know they're vicious. | ||
| Fucking vicious. | ||
| That's a Wolverine. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Bro! | ||
| I mean, look at the teeth on that thing. | ||
| Look at its face. | ||
| And it's smiling. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a good day. | ||
| Those motherfuckers are ready to go to war all day. | ||
| Make weird noises. | ||
| They're terrifying. | ||
| Like, if that thing wanted to kill you, you would be fucked. | ||
| Look at those claws. | ||
| The claws and the teeth. | ||
| Now imagine that that thing is hyper-aggressive and it's a predator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck! | |
| That shit is built to survive. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| That is a crazy little animal. | ||
| They are ferocious and they are ready to go at all times. | ||
| I mean, they'll try to get the fuck away from you. | ||
| The animal scientific name means the glutton. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It's a pretty apt description. | ||
| Four feet tall, weighing 22 pounds for females and 40 pounds for males. | ||
| These fierce creatures are the largest members of the weasel family. | ||
| They're fucking weasels, bro. | ||
| A vicious weasel. | ||
| Still, they're small compared to some of the animals they compete with for food, but a wolverine has no problem standing up to wolves or a bear when a meal is on the line. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| 40 pounds. | ||
| The way bears are to us is the way, or we are to dogs. | ||
| You know, like an 80-pound dog would probably fuck you up if you're a 150-pound person. | ||
| That's how wolverines are to bears. | ||
| A 40-pound wolverine might fuck up a 200-pound bear. | ||
| A bear's like, damn, this ain't worth it. | ||
| When I die, I want to come back as a wolverine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a vicious-ass animal. | ||
| They eat caribou. | ||
| They eat hares and rodents as well as larger animals like caribou that are weak or ill, but will also scavenge from any carcass they can get their claws on. | ||
| They also eat vegetables and berries. | ||
| Frozen meat isn't a deterrent. | ||
| Their upper molar that sits sideways at 90 degrees lets them rip into ice-covered carcasses. | ||
| Their teeth are so sharp and strong that they can even eat bones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Damn. | ||
| Once they got food, they often bury it to save for later. | ||
| Mere hours after a meal, they'll go on the hunt again. | ||
| Ferocious. | ||
| Ferocious little fucks. | ||
| Ugly as shit, too. | ||
| Yeah, so we don't have a cutie one of those. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We don't have a cutie one of those. | ||
| If we did, we'd be like, the Wolverine! | ||
| Hi, Mr. Wolverine! | ||
| Hi, kids! | ||
| I'm here to help you and guide you through the forest! | ||
| No, they're here to eat your kids. | ||
| I'm waiting for some woman to bring one on the plane as a support Wolverine. | ||
| Oh, yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some crazy. | ||
| It's always a woman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And always one that's like over 50 and on all kinds of medication. | ||
| If you're a dude and you bring a Wolverine on a plane, they'll beat you to death. | ||
| We'll beat your ass. | ||
| Has a Wolverine ever killed a person? - Ugh. | ||
| There's some women that will get offended by that. | ||
| Why does it have to always be a woman? | ||
| Is it you? | ||
| It's not you, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm not talking about you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why do we have to be gender-specific? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, if I'm saying, oh, it's probably a woman, it doesn't mean to hate no women. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What it means is, it's probably really a woman. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| If you had a guess, just being honest. | ||
| Because the peacock person... | ||
| That was a woman. | ||
| That was a woman. | ||
| And then the... | ||
| But in the defense of women, a guy got an emotional support alligator recently. | ||
| What an idiot. | ||
| He was a guy. | ||
| And he's an idiot. | ||
| But I hear about that and I wonder how many of those people, including the peacock lady, are doing it just for attention because they know that people talk about it. | ||
| I think people that have, like I saw this girl in San Diego, La Jolla. | ||
| She came to the restaurant with her micro pig. | ||
| That's not real, you know. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| They made those? | ||
| Yeah, Whitney Cummings explained it to me. | ||
| She adopted a pig and then fed it and then drove some ungodly amount of time, like two days, to Texas to drop it off at a pig sanctuary. | ||
| That's how crazy for animals Whitney Cummings is. | ||
| So through Whitney, I learned that pigs are just pigs. | ||
| There's no micro pig. | ||
| It's just a pig that they don't feed. | ||
| Oh, for real? | ||
| For real. | ||
| So they just starved it and it just stayed small? | ||
| They just keep it from getting big by not giving it a lot of food. | ||
| That's not cool. | ||
| Pawn it off on a sucker. | ||
| It's a pig. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's got to eat. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's a greedy little pig. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, they're famous for getting fat. | ||
| That's what they love to do. | ||
| So they'll pawn it off on some person. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Well, because they can't afford not to feed it? | ||
| No, the person doesn't know any better. | ||
| They think they're getting a micro pig. | ||
| Oh, it's going to be small and cute forever. | ||
| No, you're going to have a thousand pound pig. | ||
| If you feed it everything it wants to eat, it's going to keep growing. | ||
| It's like, damn, how did my pig grow? | ||
| It's because it's a pig. | ||
| It's like micro people. | ||
| If you look at people from the Civil War day, they were all 125 pounds. | ||
| Why was that? | ||
| Because they didn't have any fucking food, man. | ||
| The same guy today would probably be 200 pounds. | ||
| Especially with McDonald's and all that stuff and everything in it. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Even just eating regular food. | ||
| Just real meat and potatoes and vegetables and shit. | ||
| You're not going to be 125 pounds. | ||
| That guy was probably starving. | ||
| Yeah, they probably didn't have three meals a day back in the Civil War era. | ||
| And snacks. | ||
| I read this book by this pool hustler. | ||
| It was McGurdy, Life of a Billiard Hustler, I think it was. | ||
| It's a really interesting book because it was about a guy who survived by traveling around on trains like a hobo, gambling, playing pool and billiards in the Depression. | ||
| But during the Depression, he was talking about almost starving to death. | ||
| Like, they would knock on people's door and beg for food. | ||
| And, you know, people would just come out with a plate of food and give it to them. | ||
| Like, everybody was, like, on the edge. | ||
| People had to really rely on people. | ||
| They didn't, like, rely on people for food. | ||
| There was no fucking jobs. | ||
| There was a lot of people back then. | ||
| You know, with looking at these homeless folks, and, like, for the most part, My opinion is you're looking at people probably have an undiagnosed or untreated mental illness. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lot of that. | ||
| I think it's a lot. | ||
| I don't know what the number is, but I would think it's a lot. | ||
| And then there's also people that make mistakes down on their leg. | ||
| And then people that, you know, had terrible childhoods, horrible abuse, sexual abuse, violence, the evil parents, you know, parents die, leave them alone, foster care, all that kind of shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not their fault a lot of times. | ||
| And as humans, we should do something to take care of it. | ||
| But on the other hand... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And we just don't know who's who out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Who's mentally ill? | ||
| Who just needs help? | ||
| And the mentally ill people, man, they need help too. | ||
| But how do you force them to... | ||
| How do you force them into treatment? | ||
| How do you just get them real help? | ||
| Because the way they do help people with pills and all that stuff, some of it works and some of it doesn't work. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And some of it just creates a dependency on something. | ||
| So it's just like the system just from the beginning needs to be fixed and not just like pills. | ||
| Have you ever been on any kind of psych medication? | ||
| No. | ||
| Have you ever taken Adderall? | ||
| No. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| I want to, though. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Jamie gave me a little bit of Adderall once, allegedly. | ||
| And I didn't take it. | ||
| I looked at it and was like, I don't want to fuck with this. | ||
| Yeah, I don't do it, man. | ||
| I'm scared of speed. | ||
| I gave it to you because I haven't taken it either. | ||
| I had it for a long time. | ||
| I was like, I don't think I'm going to take it. | ||
| Do you want it? | ||
| I've known so many people that do it and they get real weird. | ||
| They get weird. | ||
| And it's an amphetamine. | ||
| And when you take amphetamines, especially if you don't take amphetamines responsibly, really strange things happen. | ||
| And one of the things that happens is people get really paranoid. | ||
| They get really weird. | ||
| They get they start having delusions of grandeur They start thinking that what they're doing is very important that a lot of people are out to take them down Mm-hmm, and you see that with people that do too much Adderall. | ||
| They don't follow the prescription They just start chewing them all day. | ||
| Whoo Things can get real slippery like the mess slippery. | ||
| It's like math math slippery. | ||
| That's all it hurts. | ||
| It's like Because I guess they get immune to it, so they gotta take extra. | ||
| Oh yeah, definitely. | ||
| And then the more you take, the worse it gets. | ||
| Yeah, tolerances are real for everything, I assume. | ||
| I mean, they even have tolerances for snake venom. | ||
| One of the things that snake handlers do, they'll give themselves a little bit of venom every day to make themselves immune to snake venom. | ||
| Your body's an amazing, adaptable thing, which is why vaccines work. | ||
| That's why these crazy fucks who don't want us to have vaccines, like, listen... | ||
| We've got to be real careful with claiming expertise on this shit. | ||
| We've got to be real careful with getting fucked over by pharmaceutical companies. | ||
| We've got to be real careful of that, too. | ||
| But we've also got to be real careful of not listening to these doctors and researchers that are struggling to find the ways to cure these horrible infectious diseases. | ||
| Because they've got a lot of them nailed through vaccines. | ||
| It's so confusing out there. | ||
| You can make an argument for any team for anything. | ||
| You can. | ||
| So it's tough to figure out. | ||
| I know logical, intelligent people that think that vaccines cause autism. | ||
| And I'm not a doctor, so I don't know if you know that. | ||
| Yeah, I think, I think. | ||
| Not a doctor. | ||
| No. | ||
| But I've heard logical, intelligent people argue that vaccines can cause autism. | ||
| I'm like, man, you're not a scientist. | ||
| Like, how could you say that? | ||
| Because you saw it in a documentary? | ||
| I know it's interesting when you see something in a documentary that sounds good, you want to relay it as fact. | ||
| I'm as guilty as that, as anyone. | ||
| Probably more guilty than most. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I'm guilty of doing that a lot. | ||
| But just recognizing that over time, I've gotten to this point where I'm like, maybe I should just shut the fuck up about something that I don't actually know about and try to figure out what it is instead of saying what it is. | ||
| What they do know is that vaccines have stopped the spread of a fucking bunch of awful diseases. | ||
| Yeah, saved a bunch of plagues. | ||
| Smallpox. | ||
| That Lindsay Fitzharris woman who's been on the podcast, Jamie, she sent me some image of some people with smallpox. | ||
| A bunch of stuff about smallpox. | ||
| Smallpox is horrific, man. | ||
| Just horrific, how it kills you. | ||
| Horrific. | ||
| They nip that shit in the bud with vaccines. | ||
| Maybe some vaccines do give people autism. | ||
| That's what that guy's back looks like. | ||
| Maybe some vaccines do give some people autism, but overall, most of the time, it helps everybody. | ||
| There's going to be some things that affect people differently. | ||
| But that means you can't stop taking it or giving it to everybody. | ||
| That's no consolation. | ||
| To stop them from having... | ||
| Right, it's no consolation if you get autism from it or if your child gets autism from it. | ||
| Yeah, but it's one of those things that's messy. | ||
| But everybody else that grows up without it, you know... | ||
| It's a messy thing about being a person, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's not like clean, like, are you pro-abortion? | ||
| Well, I'm pro-abortion up to a point, right? | ||
| When it gets to like seven months, that seems to, you know, it gets longer in the pregnancy. | ||
| That seems like, if you're talking about like the first few days, yeah, what is that, like three cells? | ||
| I'm pro-abortion if I get the girl pregnant. | ||
| As far as it takes. | ||
| As far as it takes. | ||
| Yeah, it's a weird, you know, with many, many, many subjects. | ||
| There's like a weird, well, it's not exactly, well, it's this. | ||
| You know, there's a vaccine court for a reason. | ||
| Vaccines have done damage to people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People got injured from vaccines. | ||
| During the injection site, something happened. | ||
| Peter Hotez was talking about that. | ||
| He's a doctor that's a specialist in infectious diseases and vaccines. | ||
| And he was explaining that there's five environmental factors that they think, or five factors they think contribute to a child possibly getting autism. | ||
| They've narrowed it down to these things with the most current research. | ||
| But they're all during the womb. | ||
| It's contact with things during the womb or in the genetics of the mother. | ||
| They think it has something to do with the developmental process while the child is in vitro in the woman's body. | ||
| Not after birth. | ||
| They don't think it occurs after birth. | ||
| But I don't know that. | ||
| I mean, they could be wrong. | ||
| They could be current, and then they could change that opinion a year from now. | ||
| They could find new evidence. | ||
| That shit happens all the time. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| But what we have to do is make sure we have fucking people that are working on this shit, trying to figure out the way to stop diseases. | ||
| Because otherwise some Spanish flu type shit comes rolling around. | ||
| Some simple shit can kill everybody. | ||
| That Spanish flu killed millions and millions of people in the 1920s. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't sound lethal at all. | ||
| It's just Spanish flu. | ||
| It's just like, how did that kill people? | ||
| Sounds like a drink. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| To bring that full circle back to downtown LA where typhus outbreaks have happened the last couple of years. | ||
| It's not the exact same thing as typhoid fever, I think, but it's very close. | ||
| It's a new one. | ||
| It's a new one. | ||
| It's a new typhoid that they don't have a fucking vaccine for. | ||
| I was down there the other day just trying to buy donuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Downtown? | |
| The allure of downtown has escaped me. | ||
| Everybody thinks it's amazing. | ||
| When Jamie and I talked, and we've been talking about this forever, we wanted to get aloft in downtown, like up high, and start filming podcasts up there. | ||
| Because I think that would be the coolest backdrop. | ||
| For YouTube, you and me sitting here behind us, you're just all building. | ||
| Like some Times Square, MTV shit. | ||
| Lights and shit. | ||
| That would be an amazing backdrop for a podcast. | ||
| Green screen that now and be safe. | ||
| Yeah, I can't do that. | ||
| If I was going to green screen something, it would be like current events shit. | ||
| It would be like Melania Trump slapping Donald's hand away. | ||
| I'd be like, did you see that shit? | ||
| That would be what I would do. | ||
| I wouldn't pretend I'm in the savannas. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Behind me there's a cheetah creeping up on me and everybody sees me. | ||
| He's like, does he know? | ||
| Does he know? | ||
| I'll be sitting in Griffith Park. | ||
| Behind me is a mountain lion munching on a leg. | ||
| I was meditating in Griffith Park one morning, and I hear rustling in the bushes, and it was a coyote just waking up. | ||
| They bite you. | ||
| Yeah, and I was like, I can't do that anymore. | ||
| Close my eyes in Griffith Park. | ||
| Yeah, you go camping out there, they'll bite you. | ||
| They'll check that you might be dead. | ||
| They'll take a bite. | ||
| If you just lie in there, like, damn, maybe he just recently died. | ||
| They'll just bite you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They really will. | ||
| They really will. | ||
| They're predators. | ||
| That whole thing is so strange. | ||
| People are so strange how we just, we think it's cool. | ||
| I think it's cool to be around these bears and mountain lions and shit. | ||
| And we have urban coyotes, ones that you'll see walking down the street at night. | ||
| My neighbor had two little dogs and one of them was really old. | ||
| So then she had to walk them one at a time because she saw a coyote one time coming up on them and she couldn't handle both of them. | ||
| So she takes or she used to take each dog out to walk at night one at a time. | ||
| Take a gun. | ||
| Shoot that fucking rotten dog right in the face. | ||
| That's what a coyote is. | ||
| A dog, not her dog. | ||
| I was talking about the coyote. | ||
| Well, actually, it's a wolf. | ||
| It's a small wolf. | ||
| It's a small wolf. | ||
| Yeah, a coyote is a particularly durable and resilient form of wolf. | ||
| It's a shitty wolf. | ||
| It's a really interesting wolf. | ||
| There's a great book called Coyote America by Dan Flores. | ||
| I learned about him through my friend Steve Rinell. | ||
| I think he was his professor... | ||
| In one of his courses. | ||
| But he is a guy who spent an extreme amount of time studying the history and the science behind coyotes. | ||
| Really, really interesting book. | ||
| But one of the things they found out is that when you kill a coyote, they just make more coyotes. | ||
| That's why there's so many of them. | ||
| Like they know? | ||
| They spread out. | ||
| Yeah, when they yell out, they communicate in a lot of different ways. | ||
| They yell out when they kill something sometimes. | ||
| They yell out when they're trying to figure out where each other's are. | ||
| They also yell out like a roll call. | ||
| Oh, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's hard out there. | ||
| So they're like, hey, what's up, Ian? | ||
| Hey, Jamie! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Where are you, Jamie? | |
| They do that. | ||
| That's part of what they're doing. | ||
| And when one is missing... | ||
| The female, there's some sort of a chemical or biological reaction and her body makes more puppies. | ||
| She's like, we're fucking tonight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't hear Jamie, we're fucking tonight. | ||
| They make larger litters. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| So if a normal litter would be like four pups, if someone's missing, they'll make six or eight. | ||
| Something along those lines. | ||
| So now we can't kill them. | ||
| Well, they spread out, too. | ||
| In the 1700s and 1800s, you know, when people first started going through the West, you know, they were around. | ||
| But then when we started killing them, they spread to the entire country. | ||
| They're in every single state. | ||
| So they weren't, like, this way? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They weren't everywhere. | ||
| They were a West animal. | ||
| They were a Western animal. | ||
| And then they went... | ||
| Bro, they're in New York City. | ||
| Oh shit, for real? | ||
| Yes, for real. | ||
| There's coyotes in New York City. | ||
| They have little packs of them running around Times Square. | ||
| Get out of here, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude! | |
| For real? | ||
| Dude! | ||
| There's little coyotes that are wandering through Central Park. | ||
| Listen, I get that there's mountain lions in Griffith Park. | ||
| I get that there's urban coyotes. | ||
| But New York City? | ||
| I might have made up the Times Square part. | ||
| But that's bananas. | ||
| They're deaf in New York. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll check. | |
| I know they're in New York because there was... | ||
| They probably came from upstate. | ||
| They've seen them in buildings. | ||
| In buildings? | ||
| People have seen coyotes in abandoned buildings where they've decided to make a nest in abandoned buildings. | ||
| They're all over downtown LA. Damn. | ||
| There's Central Park. | ||
| Central Park. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| Coyote motherfucker. | ||
| Damn, bro. | ||
| On the streets. | ||
| Coyote. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| On the street. | ||
| So I was telling the truth. | ||
| Yeah, they could go to Times Square easily. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they're everywhere. | |
| I gotta look. | ||
| I'm almost like a tourist coyote. | ||
| That is a small wolf. | ||
| That's what that is. | ||
| And we're infected with them. | ||
| And here's the thing. | ||
| This is what you have to be aware of. | ||
| That's the gentleman that, go back. | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| Justin Brown. | ||
| Yeah, Justin Brown was on the podcast. | ||
| He tracks coyotes all throughout downtown L.A. He's a wildlife biologist that works for the state. | ||
| Really interesting, in downtown L.A. So instead of being at a ranch outside of Bakersfield in Tachapi Mountains, this guy is a coyote. | ||
| Same trap. | ||
| The same camera trap got that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Get a picture of that too, young Jamie. | ||
| Order that bitch up. | ||
| Make a note. | ||
| Yeah, why not, right? | ||
| We should have a coyote picture too. | ||
| We can't just have a mountain lion. | ||
| That's rude. | ||
| Let's show all the crazy shit that's wandering. | ||
| See if they got a bear in that camera trap. | ||
| Yeah, hopefully they got a beer. | ||
| I like how the coyotes are so used to being around, like the way they walk down the street is just like regular. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like no trepidation whatsoever. | ||
| Look at that, just wandering. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, whistling walk. | ||
| I remember in 1994, the first, it might have been 93, the first time I ever came to L.A. and I was staying at the Oakwood Gardens. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know those? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Barham. | ||
| Yeah, on Barham. | ||
| They're in Burbank. | ||
| They're a furnished apartment. | ||
| It's where you stay when you first come to L.A. You don't have a spot. | ||
| You don't have enough money to get it up. | ||
| And you don't know if the show you're on is ever going to go. | ||
| It's going to last, yeah. | ||
| So I stayed at these Oakwoods Apartments and I was driving up the street to the apartment and I saw coyotes. | ||
| I was like, what is this dog doing just wandering around? | ||
| And I was like, oh shit, those are coyotes? | ||
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| I pulled over and I'm looking out the window. | ||
| There's three little wolves. | ||
| Isn't it funny how that moment when something you've never seen before, you see it, and it takes you a second to realize what it is, and then the word for what it is comes to your head right away. | ||
| Like, you knew it was a coyote, even though you've never really seen a coyote before. | ||
| I was in denial. | ||
| Yeah, I was thinking it was a dog. | ||
| Like it was three dogs. | ||
| And then I had to pull over and I'm like, I remember people telling me they'd seen coyotes. | ||
| But I thought it was like I saw a mountain lion. | ||
| Like if someone says I saw a mountain lion, you're like, holy shit, you did? | ||
| That's pretty rare. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Have you ever seen one? | ||
| No. | ||
| I've seen two. | ||
| Live? | ||
| Yeah, I've seen two live ones. | ||
| While you, like, out there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what happened? | ||
| One of them ate my dog. | ||
| That was when I lived in Colorado. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you was right there? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This mountain lion was casing the house, I think. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we saw it in the woods at one point in time. | ||
| And then another one I saw in Santa Barbara in Montecito. | ||
| Driving through a neighborhood I saw this animal run across the car in the front of the lights and I saw its tail and I was like, holy shit, that's a cat. | ||
| I take it back. | ||
| I have seen some mountain lions. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You know Faison Love? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He moves all over the place. | ||
| But one time, he lived in San Diego. | ||
| Me and Hugh Moore went to visit him. | ||
| And we was at his house hanging out. | ||
| And at night, he was like, look out the window in his backyard. | ||
| And there was like mountain lions in his fucking backyard. | ||
| More than one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was like two or three of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And all I'm thinking is like, how the fuck are we going to get to the car? | ||
| Oh... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And he was so casual about it. | ||
| And I was like... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's time to move, son. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Jamie, did you ever see that video from Colorado where a guy looked out his window, there was three mountain lions on his driveway. | ||
| It was like super clear iPhone footage. | ||
| This guy, or Android phone, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what he used. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Could be an Android. | ||
| He was saying this week, and he takes... | ||
| More shit for using an Android phone than for being a vegan. | ||
| Yeah, for being a black, vegan, comedian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you get more grief for having an Android phone. | |
| It's a weird little battle, right? | ||
| It's like Republican-Democrat type shit. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| People with iPhones really ain't trying to have it. | ||
| Well, it's not just that. | ||
| It's like there's teams. | ||
| It's like the fucking Orioles are playing the Yankees. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| People get on a goddamn team. | ||
| And the iPhones are the Yankees right now. | ||
| It's weird, man. | ||
| The phone thing is a weird thing. | ||
| It's weird that people are so... | ||
| They're really, like, so tribal. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That they're tribal with their phones. | ||
| Yeah, they made a tribe out of phones. | ||
| People can make a tribe out of anything. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| And what's really crazy is the biggest company, the ones that's the most desirable, is a company that also makes computers and they make their own shit. | ||
| They make their own hardware. | ||
| That's what's really strange about Apple. | ||
| Like, they make everything. | ||
| They make the software. | ||
| They make the hardware. | ||
| There's only one. | ||
| You have different models, but there's only an iPhone. | ||
| You get an iPhone R, XR, whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| X, XS, Max. | ||
| But it's only an iPhone. | ||
| That's all you get. | ||
| You don't get anything else. | ||
| Whereas Android, you got hundreds of brands. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
| There's so much variety, everybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can choose from Jamie's right now. | ||
| But you gotta be able to deal with that green. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When the green comes in on a text message. | ||
| People get offended by the green bubble. | ||
| I have friends that I go, oh, he's one of those who's green. | ||
| Even smart people. | ||
| I'm like, look at them with this fucking green. | ||
| But maybe if they're smart and your bubble comes to green, it means something. | ||
| They know something. | ||
| It doesn't look green to them. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| Messenger's pretty cool looking. | ||
| Yeah, all my texts is when they come in. | ||
| Like, they're all... | ||
| What do they look like? | ||
| I'm just going to show you. | ||
| Well, I think mine are. | ||
| Oh, they're blue. | ||
| Yeah, blue. | ||
| So yours come in blue anyway, so it looks blue. | ||
| What do you have, a Note? | ||
| Yeah, a Galaxy Note 9. Note 9, yeah. | ||
| That's the shit. | ||
| I have one of those. | ||
| That's my other phone. | ||
| Yeah, you told me, yeah. | ||
| That thing is badass. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| It's a beast of a phone. | ||
| That screen is amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so big, and you get the whole screen. | ||
| There's no cutout. | ||
| Yeah, and it goes down the side and shit. | ||
| But I got it just in case I'm on a flight and I want to watch something on it. | ||
| Or just somewhere you want to watch something on it, you download it and you have a full screen. | ||
| Instead of getting an iPad on top of that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because people have just too much shit. | ||
| Do you ever use the pen though? | ||
| That pen is useless to me. | ||
| Yeah, I just like signed a document today. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, like Chandra needed a W-9 signed, a W-9 form for me, and I just like downloaded it, signed it, and then emailed it back. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I've never used it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe it's just me. | ||
| I draw dicks on people's heads. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a perfect use for it. | ||
| But I also feel like a rebel when I use my Android phone. | ||
| I do. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I feel like a rebel. | ||
| You do. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I'm crazy, man. | ||
| Fucking trans out here. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| When do you use your Android? | ||
| So you have your iPhone. | ||
| I'm using it more often. | ||
| I'm transitioning out of one phone number to another, which I have to do often. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So you have two different numbers. | ||
| I'm getting used to it. | ||
| I play with it a lot. | ||
| They've got a new one that's coming out. | ||
| There's a new one that's coming out that looks amazing. | ||
| Note 10? | ||
| Note 10? | ||
| Yeah, it's coming out in a couple weeks. | ||
| Yeah, I try to hold on to... | ||
| I don't try to get every new phone. | ||
| I try to hold on to it for a minute, so I feel like they didn't rip me off, and then maybe three or two phones later, then I'll get the other one. | ||
| But if I buy every phone, I feel like... | ||
| I want to be a rebel within the rebel. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I got some old shit. | ||
| Yeah, I got some old shit. | ||
| You're not going to get me like in this loop of just buying, buying, buying. | ||
| Comparison. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that a weird thing? | ||
| Like that phone, they could stop right there. | ||
| That phone's perfect. | ||
| Like it does everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What more do I need? | ||
| Takes pictures, makes videos, get on the internet, ask your questions, gives me answers, send emails. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck else do I need? | |
| Don't. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| You don't. | ||
| It does everything, unless they come up with some new shit. | ||
| But if someone said, hey, Ian, I'll give you a million dollars, but you gotta use that phone only for the rest of your life, would you say yes? | ||
| This one? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's crazy, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They'd say, listen, if it breaks, we'll replace it, but that's your phone forever. | ||
| I know it'll slow down. | ||
| Well, Apple phones will slow down because they engineered them, and that made me sick. | ||
| That almost made me stop using Apple stuff. | ||
| I was like, I can't believe that you guys are attributing this to battery life. | ||
| That's disingenuous. | ||
| And then they admitted it, right? | ||
| Well, they admitted it, but they said they did it so that it would give you more battery life because your battery degrades over time, so they engineered it. | ||
| That is a convenient thing. | ||
| They also must have understood that people were going to get frustrated with the fact that it slowed down considerably and it would give them an incentive to buy a new phone. | ||
| To say that they didn't say that? | ||
| Like, come on. | ||
| You guys are so goddamn smart, you make iPhones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They figured out everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But not that. | ||
| You didn't figure that out? | ||
| You figured that out on purpose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You also are one of the most successful businesses of all time. | ||
| Apple has billions of dollars cash just sitting there. | ||
| They have so much money. | ||
| They got Pablo Escobar buried money. | ||
| They got so much money. | ||
| Apple has something like... | ||
| How many billions of dollars does Apple have? | ||
| $225 billion. | ||
| Apple has so much cash that they could probably wipe out half our debt. | ||
| This is what they could buy right now and still have $25 billion left over. | ||
| They could buy Nike, Ferrari, Twitter... | ||
| And the Manchester United franchise. | ||
| And the Manchester United football team. | ||
| And still have how much left over? | ||
| 25 billion left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| I say football for people like yourself that are aficionados. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| I didn't say soccer. | ||
| I appreciate that. | ||
| Do they say soccer where you're from, like originally? | ||
| In England? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, not in England. | ||
| In England it's football. | ||
| Yeah, only in America they say soccer. | ||
| But before the... | ||
| Where did it become football? | ||
| Was it always football in Europe? | ||
| It was always football. | ||
| Why, when it came over here, did it switch over? | ||
| No idea. | ||
| Why didn't they come up with another name for football? | ||
| Because you hardly ever kick a football. | ||
| I think... | ||
| I think they were playing football, like the soccer football, and then somebody picked up the ball and started running with it, and they started tackling each other. | ||
| I heard some story like that. | ||
| And then they kind of created football, and it evolved from there. | ||
| But then they never changed the name. | ||
| Isn't it weird that football is called football when the only person who kicks it is a guy who can't even play the game? | ||
| It's the least significant person on the team as far as getting pussy when there's a championship. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| And you're not allowed to hit him, right? | ||
| Right, and you're not allowed to hit him. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| You can hit him. | ||
| It's not while he's in motion of a vulnerable person. | ||
| They try to be safe. | ||
| Oh, so you can't hit him while he's kicking? | ||
| While his leg's up in the area. | ||
| Oh, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| What a bitch-ass rule. | ||
| If you block the ball, then you can hit him. | ||
| But isn't it crazy that that's football? | ||
| There's only one time it gets kicked. | ||
| How is that football? | ||
| What a silly name. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Doesn't make sense. | ||
| But I'm not mad at it. | ||
| You know, it's like, fine. | ||
| It's whatever. | ||
| Imagine if they called, you know, baseball, what would they call it? | ||
| Foul? | ||
| Call it foul. | ||
| We're playing foul. | ||
| It's something that happens every now and then in this game. | ||
| It has nothing to do with running around the bases. | ||
| It's about touchdowns. | ||
| You should call it touchdown. | ||
| We're going to play touchdown. | ||
| Yeah, because it's just, you know, baseball. | ||
| It's just like we're trying to get from base to base. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If they call baseball touchdown. | ||
| No, if they call football touchdown. | ||
| Touchdown, yeah. | ||
| Call it the NTL, National Touchdown League. | ||
| We're going to play touchdown. | ||
| That's the game. | ||
| It's not football. | ||
| Your foot doesn't have shit to do with it except running. | ||
| I'm looking through an explanation of why we call it soccer and it's more confusing than we care to go through. | ||
| When you go back to England, if you're from England and you're talking about it, do people, do they resent the term soccer? | ||
| Like, how does that work? | ||
| Some people do. | ||
| Like, I used to resent the term soccer. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I live here, and it's like, get over it. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| As a person, I got to get over it. | ||
| Because it was my favorite sport growing up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So I just got over it. | ||
| And then now I even call it soccer. | ||
| My podcast says soccer. | ||
| I don't even say football. | ||
| But when I go to England, or just when I'm around football, soccer people, I say football. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I get it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like if I was talking to someone, they wanted to talk about pool, but they wanted to call it bumper pool. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That pisses you off. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like the Women's World Cup. | ||
| They won the World Cup, and the United States did for soccer. | ||
| But it's not, you know, it's football to people like yourself. | ||
| It's the World Cup. | ||
| Like, how can they call the World Cup soccer to appease the one country that gives the least amount of fucks about the sport? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Yeah, that is weird. | ||
| That's the power of America. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| If you really stop and think about it, we made them change the name of their thing. | ||
| We're not going to get in there. | ||
| We'll call it soccer! | ||
| We're a part of it, but we're calling it this. | ||
| Do they call it football in Argentina? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everywhere? | ||
| Football. | ||
| But it's football. | ||
| Just their pronunciation and spelling of it. | ||
| But then Australia, they're the rebels of the rebels. | ||
| They have their own rules. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They have Australian rules football. | |
| They changed the rules for more ruggedness. | ||
| You know what it was over there? | ||
| They were too used to rugby, like those New Zealand savages. | ||
| They're fucking savage. | ||
| You can't play that bitch-ass game with a helmet. | ||
| These guys are running around biting each other in the dick in the scrums. | ||
| That's the most rugged game. | ||
| Anything to win. | ||
| That's the game they should play in America. | ||
| All the CTE problems they're having, you'd have a little bit of that with anything contact sports. | ||
| You're going to get injuries. | ||
| But I think you'd have less with no gear. | ||
| So, both those things confuse me. | ||
| I don't know the difference between rugby and Australian rules football. | ||
| And I think in Australia, they play both. | ||
| I'd be just confused. | ||
| Like, what is the difference? | ||
| Well, the ball's different, right? | ||
| They both seem like... | ||
| What's a rugby ball look like? | ||
| They literally look about the same. | ||
| Is it no different? | ||
| There is slight differences, but they look about the same. | ||
| It's like a football with more rounded edges, and it's a little more plump. | ||
| As far as I know, they could be playing with a round ball. | ||
| I literally don't even know. | ||
| I have no idea what a rugby ball is. | ||
| It kind of looks like an American... | ||
| Oh, that's it? | ||
| It's a cross between a basketball and a football. | ||
| Yeah, it's like a fat football. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that's an Australian-used football, though. | ||
| It's similar to a rugby ball. | ||
| Okay, so that's not a rugby ball, but it's close. | ||
| So there's probably like football, Australian rules football, and then rugby ball, right? | ||
| What is the rules? | ||
| What can they do? | ||
| Yeah, what are they doing different? | ||
| It's also sometimes referred to in the media as the round ball game. | ||
| What? | ||
| The world game and international football. | ||
| Australian football referred to as Australian football. | ||
| I think it's a little more like fluid. | ||
| The game doesn't stop as much. | ||
| There's less stoppages. | ||
| They kind of just keep going. | ||
| Okay, it says it's a little more fluid where players can pretty much run around where they choose. | ||
| They still have a specific end side goal to score, but it's more open in between. | ||
| Another main difference is that the game is played in 20 minute quarters, not halves. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| I told you a couple of while ago, they're adding three versus three basketball to the Olympics coming up, and the way that that game is played is so different than traditional basketball. | ||
| It's just a running clock. | ||
| Once you score, you just take it out, throw it back, run across the line, go score again. | ||
| It's a very fast-paced game. | ||
| So they're bringing like park ball to the Olympics? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Apparently, it's very popular in Europe. | ||
| It's not like that big three basketball that sort of started here. | ||
| It's not that same basketball, but... | ||
| It's popular, I guess. | ||
| When Will Harris was in here, Will Harris has this show called Anatomy of a Fighter. | ||
| He's a videographer. | ||
| And he went to Dagestan to watch Khabib Nurmagomedov, who's the UFC lightweight champion, who's a fucking animal, man. | ||
| He's one of the rare, undefeated, top-of-the-food-chain fighters in MMA. They play a game of basketball in Dagestan where they don't dribble the ball at all. | ||
| They just, like, wrestle each other to the ground. | ||
| And they even choke each other and get each other in arm bars and shit. | ||
| So they're just practicing jujitsu. | ||
| Yeah, well look, they don't dribble at all. | ||
| They're basically playing like a football type, but they're shooting at the basketball hoop. | ||
| But they throw each other to the ground, and Khabib will fucking hip toss dudes, because they have it right next to the wrestling mats. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Part of what they filmed was he was in a wrestling match with this dude when they were trying to take a player out. | ||
| So he grabs a hold of this dude, and when he grabs a hold of this dude, he drags him to the ground and gets him in a back, gets him in an arm bar, gets him in a rear naked choke. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| He makes the guy tap, and then he doesn't let him up. | ||
| Like, here it goes. | ||
| Look, look. | ||
| He grabs them. | ||
| They're allowed to do this. | ||
| The guy slips through. | ||
| They're grappling. | ||
| First of all, they're grappling on the fucking hardwood floor. | ||
| Full blast grappling. | ||
| And then he takes them to the ground. | ||
| This is serious. | ||
| This isn't playing around. | ||
| He takes the dudes back. | ||
| Now they're on the floor again. | ||
| They're on the hardwood floor. | ||
| And he's fucking choking him out. | ||
| He just Conor McGregor'd him. | ||
| And then they keep going, and as they keep going, he's getting the guy in an armbar later. | ||
| This is... | ||
| Like, look at this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| This is basketball for white dudes that can't dribble. | ||
| That's all this is. | ||
| Just like, how do we... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think this is the most effective way to use wrestling with basketball. | ||
| I think they just wanted to make something that's like a really hard workout that's very competitive. | ||
| I don't know if other people are doing this in Europe or if this is just something that Dagestan figured out. | ||
| But look, these are some of the most savage fighters in the UFC. It does look fun. | ||
| It looks fun as far. | ||
| Unless you get Khabib on your back. | ||
| They just don't have access to a very good basketball and pump to keep it pumped up and their floor is probably not good to be dribbled on so they just figured out a better game to play instead of dealing with that fucked up ball in court. | ||
| But that's a ridiculous way Jamie, these are world-class fighters. | ||
| They travel all over the world. | ||
| They have all sorts of gym equipment. | ||
| They have mats. | ||
| They have weights. | ||
| They have everything. | ||
| That ball's missing skin on it. | ||
| That's a shitty basketball. | ||
| I've played with lots of basketballs in my life. | ||
| You would never even try to dribble that. | ||
| It's like American football slash jujitsu slash basketball. | ||
| If you have a dead spot on a court, you almost don't even want to play on it. | ||
| But dude, they could get another ball. | ||
| They all have brand new sneakers on and leggings and shit. | ||
| I mean, it's not like Dak stands in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| They get goods there. | ||
| They could, but they might just like this game better. | ||
| They're just like, fuck it, we're playing this because we're all better at this. | ||
| That, I think, I think it helps them. | ||
| I'm saying that your leg made you go one-on-one with the basket. | ||
| Maybe I did not understand the rules. | ||
| They make them up. | ||
| But you said it was like I was swearing for no reason. | ||
| Oh, they're like, they're talking out a dispute. | ||
| How do you argue with Khabib? | ||
| You can! | ||
| That's the top dog. | ||
| That's the beast of the fucking crew. | ||
| But yeah, it's weird what people get really into. | ||
| Like cricket. | ||
| Cricket is one that the Europeans brought over to India, right? | ||
| They brought it to the West Indies. | ||
| They brought it to any country that they colonize. | ||
| And all those countries love it and they play it. | ||
| Oh, so it's a colonization game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then now they have like, almost like the equivalent of like World Cups of Cricket in all the countries. | ||
| Australia is a big cricket country because they, you know, it's a big thing. | ||
| The West Indies and everything. | ||
| Strange looking game too, right? | ||
| It's just boring. | ||
| Takes days to play sometimes. | ||
| Days? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| For a week, I think, sometimes. | ||
| For one game? | ||
| How many hours a day? | ||
| Too many. | ||
| It's just too many, man. | ||
| It used to kill me. | ||
| It was fun to play in the backyard because you can just get some sticks and stick them in the ground and then put one across the top as a wicket. | ||
| This is a game I have no idea. | ||
| I couldn't even draw you a picture of what the stick looks like. | ||
| It's just three sticks. | ||
| Three sticks? | ||
| Like three sticks and then you put like one on top across all of them. | ||
| When you're out, when the guy who's pitching or bowling and you swing and or if you don't swing and it hits the wicket and they knock over, come kind of like bowling sticks, then you're out. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then you get points that you hit. | ||
| You're trying to protect the wicket? | ||
| Protect the wicket and hit it so far that you can run from stick to stick, you and your partner who's batting at the other end. | ||
| And then the most amount of runs you can get, that just adds to the score. | ||
| Can I see that? | ||
| I want to see that. | ||
| That sounds so weird. | ||
| Pull up a video of dudes playing cricket. | ||
| I don't think I've ever watched a game. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| I think I've seen highlights on television maybe. | ||
| It's funny that you've never seen cricket. | ||
| No, no chance. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| See, I'm already stunned by their outfits. | ||
| So this guy doesn't have nothing on. | ||
| Some dudes are covered up in gear. | ||
| Those are the guys with the helmets. | ||
| Because the ball is hard as fuck. | ||
| I got hit by a cricket ball by the strongest kid in school one time. | ||
| And I was like, I'm done. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The way they throw it is so weird. | |
| The guys in the outfield don't have anything because they just catch the ball barehanded, right? | ||
| Yeah, barehanded, yeah. | ||
| And I feel like they should have mitts. | ||
| Look how he throws it. | ||
| He runs at you. | ||
| He runs and literally tries to hit you with the ball. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| And does it have to hit the ground first? | ||
| Is that the deal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think, yeah, it does. | ||
| It does, from what I remember. | ||
| Because it seems like it. | ||
| But the dude, like, runs across the line. | ||
| This is a bullshit game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a 100% bullshit game. | ||
| I'm not a big fan of baseball. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| I think it's kind of boring. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My wrestling coach used to say, it's not a sport, it's a skills game. | ||
| It's a skills game. | ||
| It's not a sport. | ||
| You ever see a baseball player so fucking tired he had to push himself? | ||
| I had to push himself. | ||
| Coach Murphy. | ||
| Wrestling coach in high school. | ||
| Also the same guy tried to get me to play football when I weighed 135 pounds. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Crazy asshole. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe he saw some natural athlete shit in you. | ||
| No, I just thought I was mean. | ||
| If I was mean, I'd be good. | ||
| If I was mean when I was a wrestler, I'd be good. | ||
| You'd put him in a great safety, probably, just fucking people up. | ||
| I would get crippled. | ||
| That's what would have happened. | ||
| We had a dude on our team. | ||
| His name was Bob Baker. | ||
| He weighed a good, solid 300 pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, for real? | |
| He was so big. | ||
| Maybe not. | ||
| Maybe I'm exaggerating, but he was 250. He was our heavyweight. | ||
| And I was like, how is he and me? | ||
| How are we going to play the same game where he could just run me over? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| What did he want you to play? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It didn't get that far. | ||
| I'm like, you're crazy. | ||
| I was already fighting, too. | ||
| I was doing martial arts and wrestling at the same time. | ||
| I'm like, look, man, I'm not doing that. | ||
| I'm already doing shit that freaks me out. | ||
| Physical shit. | ||
| And scares the shit out of me all the time. | ||
| I don't want to get scared by even bigger people. | ||
| At least martial arts and wrestling was confined to your own weight class. | ||
| If I had to wrestle some badass dude, at least it was my own weight class. | ||
| Yeah, this is like the weight scale is all over the place on a football field. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's all over the place. | ||
| And the athleticism's all over the place, too. | ||
| You get a guy like Herschel Walker, and if you're in high school, and there's a Herschel Walker in high school, and he's on some team that you're opposing, good luck, fuckface. | ||
| There's people that are just superior. | ||
| Just superior. | ||
| There's not a damn thing you can do about it. | ||
| There are people like that in martial arts, like when you're all wrestling. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's things like that. | ||
| And outliers. | ||
| You know, there's outliers in all sports. | ||
| And a lot of it has to do, you know, with what you did growing up. | ||
| Sometimes people do things growing up like a lot of wrestlers. | ||
| Turns out, like, working on farms as a kid is a great way for wrestlers to be super strong. | ||
| You know who make good wrestlers? | ||
| Cowboys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah! | ||
| Because they, you know, they steer, get the cow. | ||
| Yeah, they gotta get ahold of that fucking cow and drag it to the ground. | ||
| They do it all the time. | ||
| They practice on them. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Well, also, they're tough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you're gonna get banged up a lot. | ||
| And a lot of it is, like, mental toughness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, but people who have to... | ||
| There's a dude, Matt Hughes. | ||
| He was one of the greatest welterweights of all time. | ||
| And he was ungodly strong. | ||
| This dude from Illinois. | ||
| But he grew up on a farm. | ||
| He grew up on a farm wrestling animals. | ||
| I was at a party one time, right? | ||
| I was at a party one time, and he was thrown by these rappers. | ||
| I used to write on this show, Lyricist Lounge. | ||
| So one of the rappers, Master Fool, dude from Brooklyn, Was friends with these cowboys. | ||
| That's a great name, Master Fool. | ||
| Master Fool. | ||
| He was dope too. | ||
| He's like the flavor of the rappers for that group. | ||
| And he just talks to everybody. | ||
| So he became friends with these cowboys. | ||
| They came to visit LA for a week and live in the house with the rappers. | ||
| And they were real cowboys. | ||
| They have their lassoes out on the set and shit like that. | ||
| So then at the party... | ||
| This black dude with dreads got into an argument with one of the cowboys. | ||
| They were like, we're not going to fight in the house. | ||
| So everybody walks around the corner to the street. | ||
| And in five seconds, that cowboy had the black dude with dreads tied up with his pants. | ||
| Just twisted tied his body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| And had him on the ground bleeding. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And then they was like, alright, let him up and let's start again. | ||
| And he got up and he just did it to the black dude again. | ||
| And I was like, I'll never fuck with a cowboy. | ||
| If a cowboy is a wrestler, if he knows how to wrestle too, both of those things, wrestlers are so goddamn strong, you don't realize until they grab you. | ||
| You realize how helpless you are. | ||
| It's a weird feeling. | ||
| And even if you can wrestle, I wasn't a good wrestler in high school, but I made it to the States And I remember when I was wrestling this kid who eventually became friends with, because he used to come to Nautilus Plus, which is a place where I was teaching Taekwondo. | ||
| And we ran into each other when we were both like... | ||
| 20? | ||
| Like probably 20 or something like that. | ||
| It was really cool. | ||
| He was a really nice guy. | ||
| His name is Murphy, too. | ||
| I don't remember his first name. | ||
| That might have been his first name. | ||
| A lot of Irish people named Murphy. | ||
| It's like the most common name amongst Irish people, probably. | ||
| But I was like doing pretty good in like regional shit, but this guy got a hold of me and I was like, fuck. | ||
| It just made me realize like this is another level of wrestling. | ||
| He had been wrestling all of his life. | ||
| I'd only been doing it for a year. | ||
| He just ragdolling me around. | ||
| I was like, fuck. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And he wasn't even like a champion. | ||
| I don't think he won the States. | ||
| And then whoever did win the States didn't win the Nationals. | ||
| So it was like there's just like tears to it. | ||
| Levels and shit. | ||
| And then like a National High School Champion ain't shit compared to a Division I NCAA All-American college wrestler. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Those college wrestlers are off the chain. | ||
| And then they ain't shit compared to like Jordan Burroughs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's not that they're not shit. | ||
| I should never say that about... | ||
| I mean, just saying that in comparison because I admire them almost more than any other athlete because there's no professional venue for what they do. | ||
| One of the more amazing things about wrestling is they go into it knowing there's no professional sport. | ||
| There's no professional, other than, you know, pro wrestling is different. | ||
| It's entertainment. | ||
| But there's no professional 135-pound wrestling, 180-pound wrestling. | ||
| There's none of that. | ||
| They just love it. | ||
| They just love it. | ||
| And it's the toughest thing to do physically. | ||
| They're fucking animals. | ||
| But then when you get to the top of the food chain, like a multiple-time world champion like Jordan Burroughs, he had a wrestling match with Ben Askren, and he just ran him over. | ||
| Just ran him over. | ||
| And Ben Askren's one of the best grapplers to ever compete in MMA, and he was also a two-time Olympian. | ||
| A wrestler. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He ran him over. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| And Ben Askren runs most people over when he wrestles with them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Levels! | ||
| Levels. | ||
| Levels. | ||
| It never ends. | ||
| Speaking of Askren, is he awake yet? | ||
| He's awake. | ||
| How's he doing? | ||
| He handled it like a champion. | ||
| Oh, good. | ||
| Yeah, he went on Ariel Helwani's show and talked about it and said, yeah, it sucks. | ||
| The guy's a douchebag. | ||
| It sucks losing to him. | ||
| You know, I don't like him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said, you know, he just, what can he do? | |
| He's not going to read the comments. | ||
| He's a smart guy. | ||
| He's a very smart guy. | ||
| But he took it like a man. | ||
| To be able to go and do an interview right after you get knocked out like that is very admirable. | ||
| But that's who he is. | ||
| That's how you get to be a guy who's as good a wrestler as a guy like Ben Askren. | ||
| You can handle a loss like that. | ||
| What do you think of the... | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| I can't pronounce the guy's name who beat him. | ||
| Jorge Masvidal. | ||
| Masvidal. | ||
| What he said after the fight. | ||
| He said he would smack him if he saw him at Whole Foods. | ||
| Yeah, I think it's just a little too much. | ||
| You won. | ||
| But I don't know their history. | ||
| The history is rough. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| It's like 10 years of them giving him a hard time. | ||
| Ben Askren giving Masvidal a hard time, according to Masvidal. | ||
| A lot of talking shit. | ||
| Which some people think is friendly and Masvidal. | ||
| Street Jesus doesn't fuck around. | ||
| You want to talk shit to Street Jesus? | ||
| He will fucking make fun of you after he flatlines you. | ||
| And that's what he did. | ||
| He flatlined him in five seconds, made him the fastest ever KO in UFC history, and then mocked him afterwards and said he would smack him if he saw him at Whole Foods. | ||
| But see, we're talking about it. | ||
| So Masvidal is smart. | ||
| This is an amazing marketing ploy. | ||
| He's become, in one fight, the most talked about fighter in the sport. | ||
| Because he did something in the sport that's been around for a little bit that nobody's ever done before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ben Askren was undefeated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Undefeated. | ||
| And Masvidal comes out, flatlines like that, and talks some pretty vicious shit after the fact. | ||
| And even mimicked him laying on the floor, which would look scary the way he was out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Masvidal calls out, easy Conor McGregor. | ||
| I want to break his face. | ||
| Yeah, that's a rough fight. | ||
| That's a rough fight for Conor. | ||
| Masvidal is a big fellow, too. | ||
| He really belongs at 170. That's where he's fighting. | ||
| He fought at 155, but really tortured himself to make that weight. | ||
| He's a big guy. | ||
| You're talking about a guy who knocked out Cowboy Cerrone, knocked out Darren Till, knocked out Ben Askren. | ||
| I mean, he's knocking out big welterweights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Big welterweights. | |
| Darren Till's a big welterweight. | ||
| He's big. | ||
| He's not a guy coming up from 155 pounds. | ||
| He's never making 155 pounds. | ||
| What's Khabib's weight? | ||
| 55. 155, sorry. | ||
| Yeah, so he's one weight class heavier, and he's really running into the last few fights. | ||
| He's coming into his own. | ||
| He's really becoming something special. | ||
| He had a real close decision loss to Wonderboy. | ||
| I wish I could remember how that fight went down. | ||
| I just think it was a decision. | ||
| I don't know if it was a split decision or unanimous decision, but I think it was just Wonderboy outpointed him. | ||
| I don't think there was any knockdowns or anything. | ||
| That was Masvidal? | ||
| Yeah, that was Masvidal. | ||
| But Wonderboy is a particularly difficult guy to fight, and especially for three rounds. | ||
| Pettis recently knocked him out, but Pettis just hit him with a perfect punch, and that can happen to anybody, and Pettis timed it, and Pettis is a beast. | ||
| Pettis is wild. | ||
| Yeah, he's a wild man. | ||
| He's a fantastic fighter. | ||
| Losing to him is like, yeah, you lost to one of the best fighters ever. | ||
| And he also, he's a guy who dropped Tony Ferguson. | ||
| I mean, Pettis knocked out Cowboy Cerrone. | ||
| Pettis knocked out Joe Lozon with his crazy head kick. | ||
| Pettis is a monster. | ||
| Pettis is like... | ||
| He'll win one and then lose one. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Well, it's a crazy division, man. | ||
| It's filled with murderers. | ||
| Just murder after murder. | ||
| Both divisions. | ||
| 55 and 70. And I think Pettis is probably going to do real good at 70 because he's healthier. | ||
| You know, I think he went down to 145 and it almost killed him. | ||
| It was just too much, man. | ||
| He had nothing in the tank. | ||
| And then Max Holloway beat him up. | ||
| He lost to... | ||
| I think he lost to Charles Oliveira. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I might be wrong. | ||
| He might have caught Charles Oliveira. | ||
| Hmm, I don't know. | ||
| Pettis has the most legit crazy look in his eye that I've ever seen. | ||
| Pettis won, right? | ||
| He choked him, right? | ||
| That's right, that's right. | ||
| I'm confused. | ||
| He lost to someone else at 145. Who else did he lose to at 145? | ||
| Max, Barboza. | ||
| Oh, Barboza was 55. Poirier. | ||
| Dustin Poirier? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think that was 55. And he lost to Tony. | |
| Maybe that was 45? | ||
| Wikipedia doesn't say what weight class they're fighting in. | ||
| He lost to Tony, right? | ||
| Yes, he lost to Tony. | ||
| He broke his hand in the fight, but it was a great fight. | ||
| That was a great fight. | ||
| He wound up dropping him. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So, Edson Barboza and then Oliveira, I think that was 55. I think Max Holloway was 45. I don't know, man. | ||
| I'm not sure, though. | ||
| And then he went back up to 55. The Dustin Poirier fight, that was... | ||
| That was he got injured. | ||
| And that was at 55. That was a catch weight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They fought. | |
| He was at 148 for Max. | ||
| He missed the weight. | ||
| Oh, he missed the fight with Max. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he's trying to get down to 45. So featherweight debut was against Oliveira. | ||
| So he submitted Oliveira in his featherweight debut. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he had two fights at that weight, and that weight was torturous for him. | ||
| He didn't make it for the Max Holloway fight. | ||
| And then Jim Miller's definitely a 55-pound fight, and all the other ones are 55, until he got to Stephen Thompson, and that was the last one. | ||
| Wonder Boy, that was at ultraweight. | ||
| That was an amazing fight. | ||
| I mean, I think sometimes these guys, it's just too much, man. | ||
| It's just too much. | ||
| He beat Michael Chiesa. | ||
| It says he beat Chiesa. | ||
| And Chiesa's another one. | ||
| He was fighting at 55 and now he moved up to 70. Yeah, that ended up being a catchweight fight. | ||
| Chiesa missed. | ||
| These fucking guys, man. | ||
| They're killing themselves with that weight cutting. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| Imagine if that was the case with soccer. | ||
| Before a soccer game, you had a certain amount of guaranteed weight on the field. | ||
| Imagine, Ian, whatever position it is, you have to cut down to 130 pounds. | ||
| You'd be like, fuck! | ||
| So you had to drain your body in a sauna, and then everybody weighs, and then everybody rehydrates, and then the next day you play this grueling-ass game. | ||
| That would be ridiculous, right? | ||
| And fighting is the most tiring thing. | ||
| It would totally compromise the game, wouldn't it? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Imagine football players had to do that. | ||
| Imagine football players only had like, okay guys, whatever the team is, it has to weigh 4,000 pounds. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| No more. | ||
| And so you have to decide, hey, Bob can't cut lower than 260. We checked his body fat. | ||
| Joe, you're going to have to get down to 180. Jamie? | ||
| When we were kids playing football, we had to weigh in, and that sort of happened. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, because if you were a certain weight, you had to have stripes on your helmet, and it means you could only play on the line. | ||
| You couldn't be carrying the ball because no kids could tackle you. | ||
| You'd fuck them all up. | ||
| So there was definitely a limit. | ||
| I remember I did have to... | ||
| Wear the trash bag and cut five pounds. | ||
| I don't fucking know how much I weighed, but it was so I could be a tight end and catch the ball because I was on the border. | ||
| Dude, that was so bad for kids. | ||
| I had a friend in high school, my friend Steven. | ||
| All of his brother's like 6'1", 6'2". | ||
| He's like 5'6". | ||
| He never grew. | ||
| And it was because all throughout high school and junior high school he was cutting weight in wrestling. | ||
| I guarantee you it had something to do with it. | ||
| Everyone else's family is tall. | ||
| And he was always tired. | ||
| Or his dad is not. | ||
| He's a real dad. | ||
| No, his brothers look just like him. | ||
| He was always tired. | ||
| He'd be walking around the hallways like this. | ||
| Because he would do wrestling camps. | ||
| He would do the whole thing. | ||
| So he's always wrestling. | ||
| He was always exhausted. | ||
| Always. | ||
| It's a terrible thing for kids. | ||
| The fact they still have kids do that is fucking madness. | ||
| It's madness. | ||
| People didn't know any better. | ||
| My parents didn't even ask me. | ||
| When I got on the wrestling team, they didn't ask me, you're not cutting weight, are you? | ||
| They didn't even ask me. | ||
| They had no idea. | ||
| Did you just listen to the coach? | ||
| Coach tells you to lose weight, you gotta lose weight. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| It's so bad for the body. | ||
| It's so bad for your brain, too, because it dehydrates your brain. | ||
| And then you're in class. | ||
| You're trying to listen in class. | ||
| It's worse than being hungover. | ||
| That's true, because all they tell us to do now is drink water and stay hydrated. | ||
| And then you're doing something that's like you can't put anything in your system. | ||
| You're just trying to drain it out. | ||
| It doesn't affect you mentally. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you get dehydrated, your brain works like shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, they say that's one of the things that happens to people in the desert. | ||
| When they start dying of thirst, they can't think straight. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They don't make good decisions. | ||
| Yeah, I've been fatigued, like, at soccer practice, and you just, like, you'll be wearing an opposing player's shirt, and just from fatigue, I'll just pass it to you. | ||
| Just to not have to have the responsibility of this ball. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| For real, it's like, fuck it. | ||
| And I'm trying to make the team at the time, and I'm making just blatant mistakes. | ||
| I'm just so tired, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fatigue makes cowards of men. | ||
| That's Vince Lombardi's line. | ||
| It did that to me in college. | ||
| Were you following Adam Greentree at all, his story? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| At this point in the video, he said he hadn't had water for like 18 hours, and he's still climbing uphill and needs to find it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Great. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Well, he had to get rescued. | ||
| I don't know if he broke his arm. | ||
| I haven't chatted with him, but he thinks he broke his arm too. | ||
| If you go to my friend Adam Greentree's Instagram, adam.greentree, he documented this hunt that he went in for a thing called a Himalayan tar that lives in New Zealand. | ||
| And it lives in these alpine mountain areas. | ||
| I don't know if it's alpine. | ||
| These mountain, dangerous, slippery mountain areas. | ||
| And he got stuck out there and he had to get rescued and fell into the frozen glacier river and was freezing to death. | ||
| Had to climb into his sleeping bag, soaking wet. | ||
| Yeah, really dangerous. | ||
| Fell, thought he broke his arm. | ||
| Yeah, was worried that he might have broke his leg. | ||
| Did he pull out his camera and film half of it too, probably? | ||
| I don't think he filmed much. | ||
| He filmed some of it but he was having a really hard time and then he had to get rescued and he had to go somewhere where the helicopter could land so they could winch him and carry him up and rescue him and take him to the hospital. | ||
| Fucking dangerous shit. | ||
| There's a lot of these guys like Adam who's a good friend of mine who loves to go on these Like vision quest solo adventures. | ||
| So he'll go to the mountains and camp out by himself for 28 days. | ||
| And he films it and puts it up on Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Where he's talking to himself and like hunting elk in these like mountain areas and Last year, that's his campsite. | ||
| Last year he had a one-on-one encounter with a grizzly bear. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| And he had a pistol with him. | ||
| And he's documenting him trying to hold off this mama grizzly who's standing up in the background. | ||
| She made several charges at him. | ||
| And he didn't even know that the pistol was jammed. | ||
| The ammunition was the wrong size. | ||
| So the lever, like, when you cock it, it couldn't fit another bullet in there. | ||
| So he had... | ||
| A dummy gun. | ||
| He's pointing a gun that's not even real. | ||
| So if you pull the trigger, nothing would have happened. | ||
| So then he realized that that was a problem when he, I guess he tried to fire it to make sure it does work or something. | ||
| So then he had to realize that he could put one bullet in the chamber, but he couldn't reload. | ||
| He could reload. | ||
| Like musket style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So he had one bullet. | ||
| Essentially one bullet. | ||
| He had the wrong ammo for the pistol. | ||
| And you only get one shot with one of those charges. | ||
| You don't even get one, man. | ||
| When they're running at you, you are shitting your pants. | ||
| You can't believe it. | ||
| You're going to miss half the bullets. | ||
| If you have ten bullets, if you hit it once, you're lucky. | ||
| It's madness. | ||
| Because you're not going to shoot when it's ten feet away from you. | ||
| You're going to shoot as it's running towards you. | ||
| And I don't think you're going to be able to hold that position. | ||
| It's too crazy. | ||
| What is the bear doing when it's like making charges at him but not coming at him? | ||
| Trying to get you to get the fuck away from its babies. | ||
| Almost always. | ||
| Almost always. | ||
| Get the fuck away from my babies. | ||
| It's almost always a woman. | ||
| A female bear, rather. | ||
| Protecting their coats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They don't fuck around. | ||
| Some asshole that might be a hunter. | ||
| You might be hunting bear. | ||
| You might want to shoot my baby. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You might just be, you know, they don't think of humans as a good thing. | ||
| Humans are dangerous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know? | ||
| It's not our fucking word. | ||
| They're predators. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm surprised bears don't attack humans just more often based on that. | ||
| Like, how do they distinguish who's a hunter and who's not? | ||
| They don't think of hunters as being something they should attack. | ||
| They think they should get the fuck out of there. | ||
| Because when they see guns go off and then a bullet hits a bear right next to them, that bear kind of explodes and screams in agony and falls to the ground. | ||
| They just want to get the fuck out of there and not have it happen to them. | ||
| So if they've seen that ever in their life, they've seen a bear get shot, which if you're in places where bears get hunted, it's very likely that they have seen that. | ||
| They just run away. | ||
| They smell people, they run. | ||
| They want to get the fuck out of there. | ||
| So bears look at humans like predators. | ||
| Only in places where people hunt bears. | ||
| The problem is when people don't hunt bears, bears have zero fear of humans, and then bears wind up killing people. | ||
| This is what you see in Yellowstone because those bears are grizzly bears. | ||
| And the only place in America where you can hunt grizzly bears is in Alaska. | ||
| And in Alaska, they have a different attitude. | ||
| They're starting to open up grizzly bear seasons. | ||
| I think there was one they were trying to do in Wyoming, and there might have been one somewhere else where they were trying to do. | ||
| They do it in Canada, but they recently banned it in British Columbia. | ||
| And the reason why they banned it is not because the people that live near the grizzly bears, they're encouraging it because these things are fucking big and dangerous. | ||
| It's the people that live in the cities are the most people. | ||
| Like the biggest population center in British Columbia is Vancouver, right? | ||
| It's all urban. | ||
| So that's the giant mass of people. | ||
| But the people that live like where my friend Mike Hawkeridge lives, those people don't have a say. | ||
| And those are the ones who live with bears. | ||
| They have wolves and bears all over the place up there. | ||
| And the black bears, which you can hunt, those are not even dangerous. | ||
| I mean, they're dangerous but not dangerous compared to grizzlies. | ||
| Grizzlies are fucking dangerous. | ||
| So those are liberals in those cities making those decisions? | ||
| It could be even conservative people that are animal lovers and just don't understand what a bear is. | ||
| The idea is that they want to stop trophy hunting because you see Cecil the lion and that kind of shit. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| And it is in a lot of ways. | ||
| Wanting to go and just shoot these things just to stuff them and put them on your walls. | ||
| There's a lot of weird shit to them. | ||
| I totally understand your feelings on it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| But the grizzly bear thing is a different thing. | ||
| Those are the people that were raised on the cartoon and they're like, stop killing these cartoons. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The cartoon version of the animal that they saw growing up, so they have no idea. | ||
| Well, even in Africa, the exact area where Cecil the lion was killed, they had to recently kill 200 lions. | ||
| Because the lions, yeah, because so many lions had survived because there was no hunting there. | ||
| Because they came back, they came back up. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not ideal. | ||
| The situation's not ideal because it's so bizarre and twisted. | ||
| The animals survive because people pay to kill them. | ||
| model in these encaged areas. | ||
| So they have like 10,000 acres or some shit like that. | ||
| They put it in fences, right? | ||
| And then inside those fences, you have zebras and giraffes and all these different animals. | ||
| You can come over there and pay and you can go and hunt these animals. | ||
| That's a lot of the area. | ||
| So this guy, that Cecil guy, who shot that lion, he paid like $50,000 to go and hunt a lion. | ||
| And it's probably one a day, two a day, three a day. | ||
| So there's hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue coming in. | ||
| This revenue comes in for these guys that want to kill lions and what they do is they use it to raise more lions and they use it to pay professional hunting. | ||
| These people call professional hunters are basically game wardens to keep out poachers and to make sure that these animals don't get like rhinos don't get their horns chopped off and murdered just for their horns. | ||
| Elephants for their tusks, things along those lines. | ||
| So they need to hire people to protect against poaching because Look, in Africa, there's a lot of people that, especially in these areas where they have these hunting areas, these vast rural areas, people are extremely poor. | ||
| And they want animals just to eat. | ||
| They're going to call that poaching. | ||
| So then it gets even squirrely there. | ||
| It's not an ideal situation by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| But because no hunters are coming in now because of all the bad press after the cease of the lion shed, they had to kill 200 lions instead of murder them. | ||
| Because that many got born and grew up in... | ||
| Because they have a real unnatural situation over there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Where they're breeding these lions. | ||
| And then they put them in the, like, every place does it a different way. | ||
| And some places are free range where there's no fence at all. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| There's some places that are like that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But some places, it's all fenced in. | ||
| The whole thing's fenced in. | ||
| It's like a zoo. | ||
| It's like a fake wild. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| It's a fake. | ||
| They took the wild and they made it fake. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They just put a fence around the wild. | ||
| And then they kept introducing food. | ||
| And then they have lions that they keep in very specific areas. | ||
| And they feed them. | ||
| And then they'll transport them to the middle. | ||
| And then the hunter comes that day. | ||
| And they tell him where the lion is. | ||
| And the guy goes out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| Shoots the lion. | ||
| And he poses with the lion. | ||
| It's perverse. | ||
| Yeah, that's kind of bananas. | ||
| Perverse. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| On the other hand, these animals that are in there, particularly like the antelopes and black bucks and Neil guy and all these crazy wild fucking antlered creatures, they're in greater numbers than they've ever been. | ||
| So it's so twisted. | ||
| It's like the numbers are so high because people want to come in and pay to hunt them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But then the numbers are high so people can hunt them. | ||
| It's not like so that they can keep the whole wildlife ecology free and roam and look how vibrant Africa is now that we've stepped in with all these conservation dollars. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| No, it's fenced in. | ||
| And then people drive up to a spot, get out, boom! | ||
| Take a picture. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| We fuck up everything. | ||
| Great job. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Great job, people. | ||
| Yeah, we're the best. | ||
| I'm reading an explanation of a person that has gone to this park in Zimbabwe to go see the lions. | ||
| And they've done this in the past and they went back more recently. | ||
| And this is hilarious. | ||
| Read this thing here. | ||
| Then our host gave us our safety orientation. | ||
| He told us to speak to the lions in a calm voice, approach slowly, and to pet them on their backs only. | ||
| Then our host handed out skinny sticks to each of us. | ||
| He explained that if a lion approached us in a threatening manner, we should swish the stick back and forth in the grass to distract them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| What? | ||
| I'm going to have to eat you. | ||
| There's a... | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| It says that they thought they were going to go see, like, child, baby, you know, cubs? | ||
| In a cage? | ||
| Yeah, but it's definitely not. | ||
| They're like 18 months old, almost, you know, a little bit older. | ||
| Oh, so they're adolescent lions? | ||
| Yeah, like this big. | ||
| I saw this video. | ||
| There's a tribe, I don't know what part of Africa, but if a cheater or a cat hunts down an animal and kills it, these people from this tribe, they track the hunt, and then once the animal or the cat kills... | ||
| The food, then they'll scare off the cat. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| And take it. | ||
| The sticks. | ||
| And they have these little sticks, yeah. | ||
| And then the fucking cheetahs and whatever run away from them. | ||
| And I'm like, it's so crazy. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| I watched a video of that on someone's Instagram. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you gotta do what you gotta do when you're hungry. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You take a chance. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, unless they have a really good weapon, it's hard to get an antelope. | ||
| You gotta get fucking close. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But a cheetah can just chase it down. | ||
| You would think it's just crazy that a human could take a cheater's food. | ||
| Yeah, it is crazy. | ||
| Yeah, they do it with lions too. | ||
| They do it with spears. | ||
| They run up on lions with spears. | ||
| I've seen that too. | ||
| Like female lions just roaring at people while they drag away their food. | ||
| Just robbing a lion. | ||
| She goes back to the house and her husband's like, where's the food at? | ||
| I got robbed. | ||
| Well, what we do here in cities is so recent and so unnatural. | ||
| It's not like anything that anybody else has ever done before in terms of like human beings up until about 10,000 years ago. | ||
| There's never been shit like this. | ||
| Supermarkets and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, all of it. | ||
| And no interaction at all with nature. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, our interaction with nature is reserved to, you know, squirrels, fucking pigeons and shit. | ||
| Birds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Having a dog. | ||
| Even fucking pigeons are weird. | ||
| They're brought over here as food. | ||
| Oh, they were? | ||
| Yeah, they're everywhere. | ||
| You could eat pigeons. | ||
| They're delicious, apparently. | ||
| I never had one. | ||
| I don't think a lot of people, like, they just don't look at pigeons as food. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 99%, but they have pigeon seasons. | ||
| Actually, maybe they don't have a season. | ||
| Pigeons might be like wild pigs, where they're considered an invasive species. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| They're not supposed to be here. | ||
| They're not from here. | ||
| They brought them over here for squab You ever heard like squab when people eat squab no squab is like a fancy word for a young pigeon Right. | ||
| It's like lamb lamb is a fancy word for a young sheep How does a pigeon taste you had it never had? | ||
| Oh never had it. | ||
| No, I had squirrel. | ||
| How's that? | ||
| Is if someone told me it was chicken I would believe him. | ||
| Oh Oh, for real? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It tastes a lot like that, which is the most cliche shit to say ever. | ||
| It tastes like chicken. | ||
| How do you know if you catch a squirrel if it's rabid on that? | ||
| If you cook it, you don't catch anything, or will you? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I don't know the answer to that. | ||
| Maybe rabies would die at a certain temperature. | ||
| Squirrels are not, well, ground squirrels. | ||
| I was going to say squirrels are not omnivores. | ||
| They're herbivores. | ||
| But ground squirrels, I'm pretty sure eat meat. | ||
| Because I've seen videos of ground squirrels eating a mouse. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| It seems wrong. | ||
| Anything eating a mouse is wrong. | ||
| Like when you feed a mouse to a snake or some shit like that. | ||
| Well, it's even more wrong because it's holding in its hands. | ||
| Dogs and cats that are currently vaccinated and kept under observation for 45 days... | ||
| Oh, can you get rabies from eating squirrel? | ||
| Small mammals such as squirrels, rats, mice, hamsters, kitty pigs, gerbils, chipmunks, rabbits, and hares are almost never found to be infected with rabies and have not been known to cause rabies amongst humans in the United States. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So rats can't give you rabies. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Rat eating is about to go up. | ||
| I saw a video yesterday. | ||
| You're good, y'all. | ||
| Biting the head off of a rat. | ||
| It's fucking nasty. | ||
| What was biting the head off a rat? | ||
| A guy. | ||
| A guy? | ||
| A man. | ||
| Where? | ||
| An Asian man. | ||
| Chewing the whole fucking thing right off an episode of Fear Factor or something. | ||
| It was raw? | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| I think it was dead. | ||
| You didn't see it moving before, but it was fucking sick. | ||
| You and them being able to do Fear Factor in certain countries, they'd be like, where's the fear? | ||
| Right. | ||
| They'd be like, where's the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| We eat that. | ||
| I got a lot of friends that are Filipino, especially back when I was doing Fear Factor, because I was playing a lot of pool. | ||
| Some of the best... | ||
| Pool players are Filipinos. | ||
| It's huge in pool. | ||
| With pool, rather. | ||
| But they were laughing at me because they serve balut. | ||
| They're like, we love balut. | ||
| Balut is this weird duck embryo. | ||
| It's like a delicacy over there. | ||
| But people on Fear Factor were terrified of it. | ||
| And these people were like, no, we pay for that. | ||
| We like it. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Look at those people wasting the balut or whatever it is. | ||
| They eat the beak and everything, man. | ||
| Balut is weird. | ||
| It's an embryo. | ||
| It's like a little baby duck. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| I wonder if you'd even be able to do Fear Factor today. | ||
| I mean, I know Ludacris is still doing it, but they're doing a different kind of version of it, right? | ||
| Have you watched one of those episodes just to check it out, no? | ||
| No, that's like watching your ex-girlfriend get banged. | ||
| Do you really want to see that? | ||
| Banged badly? | ||
| Wouldn't you want to watch her get banged badly, see that I was better? | ||
| It's weird to take over someone's gig, because if someone did it for so long, they had a certain style, how they did it. | ||
| Please pimp my fear factor. | ||
| Ludicrous. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who did Pimp My Ride? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exhibit. | |
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whatever happened to that dude? | ||
| I think he's still acting and doing stuff. | ||
| Yeah, he was the Pimp My Ride guy. | ||
| Yeah, it was a huge show. | ||
| How the fuck did that show go away? | ||
| I know, that feels like I could just keep going. | ||
| Yeah, it's like one of them pawn shop shows. | ||
| They never have to end. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just keep paawning shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do it in different countries. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, why would they end Pimp? | ||
| Maybe Exhibit was like, done. | ||
| I can't deal with these people and their cars anymore. | ||
| Start making all those other shows. | ||
| There's tons of car shows now on all those other channels. | ||
| Pimp and shit. | ||
| Yeah, but that's the best name. | ||
| Pimp My Ride? | ||
| That's the best name. | ||
| Wouldn't you say that's the best name? | ||
| I think most of those are undrivable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, there's been a lot of Reddit things where people are asking for like, have you ever been on Pimp My Ride? | ||
| Tell us about your experience or whatever. | ||
| I'm like, They did so much shit to those cars that would be like, hey, by the way, when this is over, go ahead and take half that shit out so you can legally drive it down the fucking freeway. | ||
| Not every time, but some of the times they had to do that. | ||
| If you had one of those cars now from Pimp My Ride, it would be a huge collector's item. | ||
| It should be worth a lot of money if you still kept it. | ||
| I think they started bringing it back, but... | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Here's an article. | ||
| What really happened to the cars from Pimp My Ride? | ||
| Um... | ||
| I definitely remember a couple of the guys said that they had to stay in contact with a few of the in-house mechanics because they had to keep getting something fixed. | ||
| Fixed, right. | ||
| I believe that. | ||
| They had to constantly drive back to Hollywood or wherever the fuck it was. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| I'm trying to find... | ||
| Well, a lot of those shows, like my buddy Bud, who's been on the podcast before, he used to have that show... | ||
| Fuck, what was it called? | ||
| What was that show where they would steal someone's car... | ||
| And rebuild. | ||
| It would make them think their car was stolen. | ||
| I can't remember his fucking show. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| It was Chip Foose. | ||
| Chip Foose would redesign their car and they would get this fucking amazing car. | ||
| What the fuck was the name of that show? | ||
| Bud Brutzman, he used to have the show Rides. | ||
| That was a show where they built my 1970 Barracuda. | ||
| Overhauling? | ||
| Overhauling, that's it. | ||
| Shout out to Bud and Adrian, who was the host. | ||
| They would take a car and they'd do it in a really short amount of time. | ||
| And then after it was over, they would have to... | ||
| Tighten it all up and when they do a build a car they have a shakedown period We're like they drive it for a few hundred miles to make sure there's nothing goes wrong Everything's working, right? | ||
| It's like this period of time to make sure that everything's dialed in they don't get a chance to do that in a week, right? | ||
| So that's probably what they're talking about. | ||
| Yeah, this is a Pin My Ride thing. | ||
| I'm reading through it. | ||
| Some of the contestants said they had to completely just play the game of this is a TV show, exaggerate. | ||
| Let's dump a bunch of cigarette butts in your car to make it look shittier than it is. | ||
| Hey, when we show it to you, please be fucking happy when you see this so we can have a good reaction for TV kind of thing. | ||
| That's disappointing. | ||
| God damn it, Pin My Ride. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| That's every show, though. | ||
| Yeah, that's every show. | ||
| Any, like, HGTV show. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Or just hoarders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, we're going to have to hoard your place up even more. | ||
| Probably, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, preppers, those people? | ||
| Preppers. | ||
| Probably make them extra crazy. | ||
| I haven't seen preppers. | ||
| What's that about? | ||
| People were prepping for the apocalypse. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Listen, we know you're crazy, but we're going to make you look even crazier. | ||
| Even crazier. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Or intervention. | ||
| You know what's interesting to me? | ||
| It's typically right-wing people. | ||
| Who are in favor of, like, if you think about anytime someone passes a law that's bad for the environment, right? | ||
| If they want to drill in Alaska, if they want to do something overseas, it's usually, I mean, it might be generalizing, but usually thought to be a right-wing thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's like more concern for business than concern for the environment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People that are on the left are the people that are always like the tree huggers. | ||
| Those are the environmentalists. | ||
| So the people that are like radical environmentalists, you would almost always think of as being people on the left. | ||
| But the people that are prepping for shit going south are almost always on the right. | ||
| The right-wing people are the ones who are prepping for solar... | ||
| Think the world is going to come to an end. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those are the ones that are carrying bullets and they're fucking digging tunnels in their backyard. | ||
| So you know what you're doing. | ||
| You know you're destroying the earth by digging for oil and all that shit. | ||
| But it's not them. | ||
| It's usually the bigwigs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But they're voting and they're in favor of all those decisions that the bigwigs make. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Inadvertently. | ||
| Because the bigwigs have connected themselves to Jesus. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what they did. | ||
| That's the wise thing they did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| To good, old-fashioned family values and Jesus. | ||
| They figured a way to connect it to a thing that everybody can't argue against. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The connected right-wing ideology with God. | ||
| And left-wing with abortion. | ||
| Killing babies. | ||
| The line in the sand's been drawn, Ian. | ||
| If you're prepping for the end of the world, right? | ||
| You gotta secretly be hoping for the end of the world. | ||
| Maybe a little bit of end. | ||
| Just to try your shit. | ||
| Yeah, just to try your shit. | ||
| And to say, I wasn't crazy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And wasting my time. | ||
| So you gotta kinda be rooting for the end of the world. | ||
| Like, you don't wanna, you know, do all that shit in vain. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So that's kind of a weirdness to those type of people. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, you started doing comedy, and there's people like, you're never going to make it. | ||
| You want to make it to be like, you were wrong, and to just the relief of knowing you were right. | ||
| Well, I think that's a problem with cops. | ||
| I think cops want to shoot people sometimes. | ||
| They have a gun, and they almost want someone to do something fucked up so they can shoot them. | ||
| Not every cop. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But there are certain people that should not be cops. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| And those people that become cops, and it does happen, and we all know, and I'm a 100% supporter of law enforcement, but even law enforcement, they know it. | ||
| They don't want to be surrounded by some weak fuck who's also a cop who wants to shoot people. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But there's people out there that want to shoot people. | ||
| And you give them a gun, if you give someone a hammer, everything looks like a nail. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember the video, and this was a white cop shooting a white guy. | ||
| The Arizona one? | ||
| I think it was in a hotel lobby. | ||
| Yeah, and that guy is like, how did he become a cop? | ||
| How did he not go to jail? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They let him off the hook for that one. | ||
| They always kind of let them off the hook. | ||
| They'll give a slap on the wrist and just get them out of there. | ||
| And the instructions he was giving this guy was telling him to keep your hands away from your waist because his pants were falling down. | ||
| Yeah, and the guy was saying that to him too. | ||
| Yeah, and he's just crying and crawling towards him. | ||
| Like helplessly. | ||
| The guy reaches because his pants fell down and grabs a hold of his pants to pull him up and the guy fills his back up with bullets. | ||
| Shoots him in the back, on the floor, crawling. | ||
| The guy's of no threat. | ||
| Was yelling, making the situation even more chaotic. | ||
| He's also telling the guy to do something. | ||
| Why are you making a move? | ||
| Just tell him to lie down, put his hands behind his back, you handcuff him, and then he was ordering the guy to crawl towards him. | ||
| Towards him, yeah. | ||
| It doesn't even make sense. | ||
| Did you see this video earlier this week? | ||
| This was from July 1st. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| This is what's called suicide by cop. | ||
| This guy was coming towards this cop screaming with a knife and the cop was begging him to please stop, please stop. | ||
| This is after they already shot him, Jamie. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| But meanwhile, he winds up tackling this fucking guy. | ||
| This is what's crazy. | ||
| This guy's already been shot and he turns on this cop and tackles him right here. | ||
| Tackles him. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| The guy's filled with bullets, and the guy's reaching for his gun. | ||
| He gets his back, and he takes him down. | ||
| And then this guy's not even close enough. | ||
| He doesn't have the knife anymore, does he? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I can't tell if it's in his hand right there. | ||
| It's hard to see. | ||
| Did you see the video of the black cop walking towards the guy with the machete? | ||
| Yes, I did see that. | ||
| And he just like walked right into it and just parried and flipped him over? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That shit was crazy. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| I saw another one that Eddie Bravo sent me of a, it's not a cop one, but two dudes are having a conversation and this guy's got his hand behind the back. | ||
| And he pulls a knife out of his pocket, and the guy doesn't even see, and he just, in the middle of the conversation, just sticks him in the stomach. | ||
| And the guy's standing there, he moves back, and he's like holding his stomach, he can't believe it, and the guy comes towards him again, follows him, and the guy who got stabbed winds up knocking the dude out. | ||
| The guy's coming towards him with the knife again, saying, I'll stab you again, and the guy hits him with the left hook and rocks him, and then hits him with the right hand and knocks him out. | ||
| And these were regular dudes? | ||
| Regular dudes. | ||
| Looks like regular dudes. | ||
| But the dude who got stabbed knew how to fight. | ||
| Luckily for him. | ||
| But he still might die. | ||
| Knew how to fight and take a stab. | ||
| In the stomach? | ||
| That is fucking very dangerous, man. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Very dangerous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What were we talking about? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| I'm just looking at... | ||
| I'm trying to find a video of that guy getting stabbed. | ||
| Nah, let's not. | ||
| Oh, it's just crazy. | ||
| There's so much. | ||
| There's just so much. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lot of shit. | ||
| There's so much to just freak you out. | ||
| I don't even look at some of the bad stuff anymore. | ||
| A lot of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like I saw at the beginning of that video when it came out like last week. | ||
| I ain't watching this. | ||
| I just like turned it off. | ||
| Yeah, you can't watch that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's so many videos. | ||
| You'll get convinced that that's happening everywhere in the world 24 hours a day. | ||
| It'll fuck your head up. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's easy to get freaked out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of freakable shit out there. | ||
| There is. | ||
| This is as good a spot as any to talk about this. | ||
| I want to make sure I clarify something because there was an operation. | ||
| This is a guy who was a billionaire diamond guy who wound up getting a dick enlargement operation and he died because of the anesthesia. | ||
| And it was in another country. | ||
| And we pulled out... | ||
| We were saying, somehow or another, it got connected to this company that does that in the United States. | ||
| It had nothing... | ||
| Phenoma? | ||
| Yeah, the article I had said like... | ||
| He was getting a similar surgery in that the Pneuma only happens in the U.S., but he was getting something done in Europe, so it was different. | ||
| Well, they reached out to me to explain. | ||
| First of all, the guy died from anesthesia. | ||
| You could die from anesthesia from any operation. | ||
| It had nothing to do with the penis enlargement operation, to use the more correct term, dick enlargement. | ||
| But he didn't die from that. | ||
| And that's just as safe as getting your nose fixed or getting your knee meniscus operated on. | ||
| It's just any surgery where you have anesthesia carries a certain amount of risk. | ||
| But apparently this dick thing works. | ||
| They actually can grow your dick bigger now. | ||
| You're risking your life. | ||
| It better work. | ||
| Well, you're risking your life if you go to the dentist. | ||
| Anytime you get put under, anything you're doing with anesthesia, there's a very small chance that something could go wrong. | ||
| But it had nothing to do with this dick operation, so I just wanted to make sure that people know that if you look this up, I don't want any incorrect assumptions to be out there, and I carry no ill will towards these people that make this, and apparently it works. | ||
| So I just want everybody to know that. | ||
| Yeah, he's carrying no ill will towards his company that makes dicks bigger. | ||
| Apparently, it actually, it's a weird thing, right? | ||
| Like, for a man to do that, there's certain taboos that are involved in even admitting that you have an issue. | ||
| Like, a little dick is a weird thing, right? | ||
| Because it's one of the rare things that's unfortunate that you can make fun of. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, you can't make fun of a little person. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, if you make fun of a person who's a, you know, you're not supposed to call them midgets. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're supposed to call them little people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You make fun of a person who's a dwarf or a little person. | ||
| You're a cruel person. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you make fun of a guy with a little dick... | ||
| Like, somehow or another... | ||
| Sometimes he deserves it or some shit. | ||
| That's a weird thing that women are allowed to do. | ||
| Like, you're allowed to make fun of dudes having little dicks. | ||
| There should be something in the same vein, yes, to protect little dick people from cruelty. | ||
| Right, because if you have a little pussy, that's fantastic. | ||
| Everybody's excited about that. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| What a weird situation. | ||
| But a big dick is a sign of virility. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So we salute you, Penuma. | ||
| That's the name of the company? | ||
| We salute you for helping men achieve larger dicks. | ||
| Yeah, and I almost died from anesthesia one time. | ||
| I thought you were going to say from a dick in life. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| When I was like a teenager, and here's the irony. | ||
| I was going in... | ||
| For an operation that you're supposed to go in in the morning and leave in the afternoon. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's just a quick thing. | ||
| And then it was literally for a circumcision. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| You were getting a circumcision? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What were you doing? | ||
| I just had sex with this girl, like, I was a kid, like, say, 18, and somehow I pulled the skin of my dick back and couldn't get it back. | ||
| I did that to clean it. | ||
| And I couldn't get the skin back, right? | ||
| Over. | ||
| So then I spent like an entire night with like a raw boner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| With no skin covering it. | ||
| So I went to the doctor. | ||
| Then he got it back over and he said, you should get a circumcision. | ||
| So one time operation is going and you don't have to worry about this shit happening again. | ||
| But it only happened once, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you were furiously beaten off though, right? | ||
| Is that what you mean? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I pulled the skin back to clean it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Officer, I was cleaning the gun when it shot my neighbor. | ||
| No, it's cleaning. | ||
| There was shit under there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So then I went in and they gave me the anesthesia. | ||
| And then when I woke up, there was like a hose down my throat and people were frantic around me. | ||
| And it was like nighttime. | ||
| It was way past the time I was supposed to come back, come to. | ||
| And the anesthesia gave me pneumonia. | ||
| I ended up spending like two, one and a half to two weeks in the hospital. | ||
| And the first few days was in intensive care. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| It was anesthesia. | ||
| I did not, like, wake up. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You almost died getting your dick operated on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was almost that guy. | ||
| Whew. | ||
| But for the most part, listen, you're talking to someone who's had a bunch of surgeries. | ||
| I've had my nose fixed. | ||
| I've had my arm broken, my hands. | ||
| I've had my knees operated on three times. | ||
| I've had three knee surgeries. | ||
| I've been put under quite a few times. | ||
| It's mostly safe. | ||
| It's really about the anesthesiologist. | ||
| Hey, Jamie, just somebody at the door. | ||
| Try to figure out... | ||
| That's the security guard. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Why is he doing that? | ||
| Wandering around like he's got a plan. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| He's got a chair there. | ||
| He must be hanging out up there today. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Some people are weird, man. | ||
| You never know. | ||
| When you get in an Uber, do you know that they... | ||
| How much background do they do on an Uber? | ||
| So I was trying to explain. | ||
| When you asked me the other day, I was like, to get the approval on your app to be like, yes, this car can drive Uber is one thing. | ||
| But once you have that, anybody you know can... | ||
| Be behind that. | ||
| They don't scan your face when you're in the car every time or anything like that. | ||
| Yeah, I got the Uber. | ||
| Bro, use it. | ||
| So if you and I got an Uber, I could use your Uber and I could drive around and pretend I'm you. | ||
| You could get caught, sure, but people definitely do that. | ||
| But how many people get caught driving an Uber? | ||
| Fucking none. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Whoever saw that coming? | ||
| Rideshare. | ||
| Remember when you were a kid and there was taxis? | ||
| Whoever thought, man, I could have my own taxi? | ||
| They used to have a shit called gypsy taxis. | ||
| And they would arrest those people. | ||
| Yeah, in New York. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| They would arrest them for trying to do the Uber thing. | ||
| Why don't they get an Uber? | ||
| Why would they be a gypsy cab? | ||
| Five bucks. | ||
| This is before that, though. | ||
| There was a year that I lived in New York that some insane number of gypsy cab drivers got murdered. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| Oh, for real? | ||
| It was something like 40-plus in a year got murdered, so it was almost one a week. | ||
| They were killing gypsy cab drivers. | ||
| They would rob them and kill them. | ||
| Did they ever catch that guy? | ||
| I don't know if it was just one guy. | ||
| Yeah, those people. | ||
| They were just deciding that these gypsy cab drivers, I think, this was, you know, boy, we're talking like probably like 1990s, 1992 or some shit like that. | ||
| Like there was no internet and there was, I don't know if people were paying ever with credit cards. | ||
| No, it was all cash. | ||
| It was all cash? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So if you were a gypsy cab driver, they saw you as being someone who had a wad of cash on you. | ||
| And then you can't report it to the police because you're a gypsy cab driver, so you shouldn't even be doing it. | ||
| Yeah, but they would just kill them. | ||
| But if you're a criminal, it's a great crime. | ||
| It's a smart crime. | ||
| Like, I'm going to rob somebody that shouldn't be doing what they're doing for a living, so they can't really report to the police That I'm robbing you. | ||
| Yeah, but they would shoot him and kill him. | ||
| The thing is, they would just shoot him in the head. | ||
| And the thing is, they would be considered... | ||
| Maybe these people were illegals. | ||
| Maybe these people didn't have a lot of documentation. | ||
| Maybe when they killed him, it would be a dead end because they wouldn't know what to do. | ||
| Maybe they were here by themselves. | ||
| Maybe they figured the cops don't care about... | ||
| They would definitely figure the cops don't care. | ||
| And because it's cash and because there's no meter, so there's no record of everything. | ||
| Did you find anything about that? | ||
| Quickly just Google it. | ||
| There was one – I found a story from New York Times, 1983. There was a weekend where 11 people were murdered, but this story just has the story of one guy that was found in the front seat of a gypsy cab, murdered. | ||
| Could have been a shot, could have been a nice pic. | ||
| It was the 1990s. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It was the 1990s. | ||
| It was definitely – well, I moved there. | ||
| I think I moved to New York and – 91. I think I lived there from 91. I lived back and forth in 92. Here's a story from 1990. A sixth cabbie is slain in the Bronx, but it's New York Times. | ||
| It's just a paywall thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fifth one was killed. | ||
| Yeah, I think there was a long stretch where it started to become a big deal. | ||
| But it's... | ||
| I mean, if there was 40 Wall Street guys murdered... | ||
| Murders of times of drivers in the 1990s originated... | ||
| The creation of pirate taxons. | ||
| Yeah, that's kind of the article about it. | ||
| Since 1990, 180 drivers have lost their lives while on duty in the streets, which averages more than two per month. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| I don't know if that's regular. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| It might just be cab drivers. | ||
| Because gypsy cab drivers, how do you prove that guy was a gypsy cab driver? | ||
| You just got a dead guy in a car with a bullet in the back of the head. | ||
| And then you have to ask his friends, was this guy gypsy cab driving? | ||
| Maybe it was a certain style of car, too. | ||
| So that passengers could identify it as a gypsy cab so that they could take it. | ||
| And it's like, if you're taking a gypsy cab, you have a limited amount of money. | ||
| And you don't want to pay a cab, but you want to get to where you're going. | ||
| It has to be identifiable. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Cabbies risk death daily in New York. | ||
| Jungle under siege. | ||
| Crime. | ||
| Hours are long and the mortality rate high. | ||
| So far this year, 32 taxi drivers have been killed by armed robbers posing as customers. | ||
| Yeah, and I think that's just regular taxi drivers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a rough gig, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, when we were living in New York, imagine if just now you go there, it's just Ubers everywhere. | ||
| Everybody's Ubering. | ||
| Everybody's just using their phone, standing out like the comedy store has become a fucking disaster trying to get in that parking lot now. | ||
| Yeah, that's a pain in the ass. | ||
| And they just pull up and block the driveway. | ||
| They don't give a fuck and no one stops them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they're just going in there left and right, just blocking everything, dropping people off, picking people up. | ||
| It's never ending. | ||
| You can never get in there. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's like a new thing that no one saw coming. | ||
| Let's play Gary Vee here. | ||
| What's next? | ||
| What could we get on the front lines of something like that? | ||
| That scooter stuff is crazy. | ||
| There's a one-year pilot program, I think they're calling it, for Los Angeles County. | ||
| That's why more and more have popped up. | ||
| I think they're just sort of saying... | ||
| We're going to do a year, figure it out. | ||
| No one is going to be taken down for doing this, or like they were trying in Santa Monica to get rid of them for a minute, like the bird scooters and whatnot. | ||
| They've ramped it up completely. | ||
| There's all sorts of electronic bikes now. | ||
| There's at least, I want to say, six or seven different companies just in Hollywood where I live. | ||
| They're just everywhere, laying all over the sidewalks, but that's sort of what they're trying to figure out is... | ||
| How do you leave them around? | ||
| Where are you going to leave them? | ||
| Is it successful? | ||
| I don't know how many taxes they're paying and how much money the city gets brought in. | ||
| I don't mind them, but it's just dangerous walking. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Because I was walking down the street one day, and I was about to just... | ||
| You know, you're just walking, but you just change your stride a little bit to go to the right. | ||
| And I almost got hit by one, and it was coming fast. | ||
| And I'm like, it's the sidewalk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It could be serious-ass damage. | ||
| That's the problem in L.A. is that... | ||
| You're supposed to be on the street with those. | ||
| It says do not ride these on the sidewalk, but it is 100% not safe to be on the streets of L.A. on those because people are getting run over. | ||
| I don't know if anybody's died, but downtown L.A., somebody driving 50 miles an hour ran over someone on a scooter. | ||
| Why the fuck are you driving so fast downtown also? | ||
| Well, there's people that are crazy. | ||
| Yeah, the hit and runs happen anyway. | ||
| They happen all over the place. | ||
| And then there's assholes. | ||
| People are going to shoot cab drivers. | ||
| They're going to run over scooter drivers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're everywhere, though. | ||
| It's weird to see them. | ||
| They've started to ban them in certain places, right? | ||
| Some neighborhoods have tried. | ||
| Like, West Hollywood, you kind of can't leave them anywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I think cities. | |
| I think they're cities. | ||
| West Hollywood's a city. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean outside of California. | ||
| I mean, other cities have just said no more. | ||
| Vegas, you can't. | ||
| No fucking way could you have them in Vegas. | ||
| No? | ||
| All those drunk people. | ||
| Oh, right? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Oh, my gosh. | ||
| Drunk people on scooters. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| They're ridiculous. | ||
| Drunk people on scooters and drunk people driving while you're on a scooter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Plus weed. | ||
| Plus weed. | ||
| Now weed. | ||
| Yeah, how good was Vegas? | ||
| It was a good time, wasn't it? | ||
| It was a good time, yeah. | ||
| That was fun. | ||
| You just had me thinking about what could be next, though. | ||
| Yeah, what could be next? | ||
| Like, if we didn't see scooters coming, we didn't see Uber coming, what could be the next big thing? | ||
| What do we need? | ||
| What do we need? | ||
| We need protection from the ocean. | ||
| The ocean's gonna rise up and take us. | ||
| We're melting the ice caps. | ||
| We're going to have to move to Tucson. | ||
| Boats. | ||
| They're making more subways here right now. | ||
| Yeah, they're going to fill up with water. | ||
| What a good move. | ||
| They're going to have one in Beverly Hills. | ||
| Those are going to be canals. | ||
| Canals. | ||
| We'll use those for the toilet in the year 2090. Yeah, we're going to throw our shit down those tubes. | ||
| I wonder, man. | ||
| I mean, there was some shit that I was reading today about the ice caps melting at an accelerated rate. | ||
| It's never good news. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Whenever it's like ice cap melting news, like, hey, we just found out we actually have more ice than we thought. | ||
| We're good. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Doesn't that mean Vegas can get water now? | ||
| No? | ||
| Vegas gets their water, they figure it out. | ||
| There's so much money in Vegas, they just steal it. | ||
| Where do they get it? | ||
| From a hole in the ground? | ||
| No idea. | ||
| Is there a well out there? | ||
| All I know, they got good water pressure in every hotel I've ever been in. | ||
| It's wonderful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, that's a human ingenuity. | ||
| They're building more shit. | ||
| Yeah, and if the ice caps do melt, it'll just bring it closer to Vegas. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Vegas will use it. | ||
| Yeah, the water will be like real close. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, we just move inside to the middle. | ||
| Like, this is what people have been doing forever. | ||
| This idea that you're supposed to be able to keep your fucking house on the water in Santa Monica. | ||
| That isn't crazy. | ||
| I know, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You decided to build a house where the beach is your front yard. | ||
| That is so nuts. | ||
| You think those cliffs were always there? | ||
| This shit was different decades before. | ||
| So keep on thinking it's going to be like that all the time. | ||
| Yeah, if you buy a seaside house in Marina Del Rey or someone really nice, you're making a gamble. | ||
| I'm only going to be alive for 40 more years. | ||
| Over those years, let's hope that this water stays over there. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Stays put. | ||
| Let's hope Mother Nature does what I want it to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm gonna spend seven million dollars on this fucking house with literally no backyard. | ||
| It's just ocean. | ||
| And I'm just gonna hope it stays like this. | ||
| I just can't wait till my crib becomes beachfront property. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I could sell it. | ||
| I rented a beach house a couple of years ago when I was getting my kitchen fixed. | ||
| And we rented this house in Malibu on the water. | ||
| It was beautiful, man. | ||
| You would wake up, you'd eat breakfast. | ||
| You'd just be sitting there staring out over the water, and the water would literally come almost underneath the balcony, so it looked like you were sitting in water, like you were floating in water, like you were on a boat. | ||
| I was like, wow, this is so beautiful. | ||
| It makes you feel so good. | ||
| Yeah, it does, being by the ocean. | ||
| But what a gamble. | ||
| Yeah, even though you sound like that's the ultimate infinity pool. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, I don't mind. | ||
| Like, La Jolla, you have the condo right by the beach, and you go to sleep at night, you can hear the ocean, you wake up. | ||
| But then, I'd be like, what if this is the night? | ||
| This is the night. | ||
| Where, you know. | ||
| Comes in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just takes the building down and rushes it out to the mountains. | ||
| I mean, that's happened so many times in history. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All it takes is an earthquake or an asteroid hits the ocean. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| If an asteroid hit the ocean, we wouldn't even be safe here. | ||
| We wouldn't be safe. | ||
| We probably wouldn't be safe in Arizona. | ||
| It would go deep into Arizona. | ||
| If an asteroid hit the fucking ocean just outside of Malibu, boom! | ||
| Just a big one. | ||
| Everybody in the Midwest be laughing. | ||
| They'd be laughing our ass off. | ||
| See, we had the best property all the time. | ||
| Yeah, so we had to duck hurricanes. | ||
| They have the scariest shit. | ||
| I think tornadoes are the scariest shit. | ||
| Yeah, those things are so random. | ||
| And they happen every year. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Every year. | ||
| It's not like earthquakes happen every year. | ||
| A hurricane, you can track, you know, it's coming, you can prepare, you can just leave. | ||
| A tornado, it's just like... | ||
| They just show up. | ||
| Hey, man, I'm here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the scariest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's just something that people deal with. | ||
| You see, they wipe out entire towns. | ||
| They take towns off the map. | ||
| I feel like they just always aim for these small towns. | ||
| Well, I think it has to do with agriculture. | ||
| If I'm right, I think it has to do with flat areas and the type of weather that they have. | ||
| And I don't think they take place in areas where there's a lot of trees and forests. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| It's more like they don't really happen in cities because the heat structure and it creates where the air pressure starts because it's a hot, cold air pressure system that kind of starts swirling. | ||
| So because of the artificial concrete and all that stuff, that's why tornadoes almost protect the bubble. | ||
| It does happen in cities from time to time, more like on the outskirts, but it's very rare to see one roll through a downtown. | ||
| But does one ever go through Colorado? | ||
| Yeah, I'm looking one up right here. | ||
| That's why, as you were saying, trees. | ||
| I got a video of one just ripping trees up in Texas. | ||
| But mostly, yeah, for sure, on flatlands. | ||
| Even Texas has them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, Texas is a lot of crazy wind. | ||
| But it's so close to Oklahoma. | ||
| Oklahoma is like Tornado Valley, so anywhere around there. | ||
| There was one that was on TV that was mad. | ||
| It was hitting this area where they had these oil trucks, and it was carrying these semi-trucks in the air. | ||
| I don't know if they're oil trucks. | ||
| They're semis. | ||
| You know, like a 16-wheeler, like fucking trucking, like that. | ||
| It was flying in a circle in the sky like a fucking newspaper. | ||
| You know how a page from a newspaper gets caught in the wind and starts flying around? | ||
| This fucking tornado was carrying trucks like that. | ||
| I thought it was in this video. | ||
| This was in Missouri earlier this year. | ||
| I don't see it. | ||
| That's mostly new stuff. | ||
| Yeah, but there's a video of... | ||
| Oh, that's it right there. | ||
| That's the video. | ||
| This is a video where you see... | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| While you see the trucks, as they get closer, you can see inside the fucking thing. | ||
| That is a truck flying in a circle. | ||
| If this is the same video. | ||
| That's hard to tell. | ||
| I don't know if that's it. | ||
| Yeah, that's after. | ||
| No, that's the semi after it lands. | ||
| I mean, that might not have even been it, but it was one where there's probably so many fucking tornado videos, but it was one where these trucks were literally flying around in a circle like it was carrying this gigantic semi and just floating it in the air like a paper airplane. | ||
| Was it from Twister, though? | ||
| Was it some fake footage or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| It was real. | ||
| It was real. | ||
| Some news footage from television. | ||
| It seems like then it's hard to catch that because all these are just already on the ground. | ||
| Yeah, no, it was from a distance. | ||
| It was some news footage. | ||
| We're fucking rambling. | ||
| Speaking of rambling, Ian Edwards has a comedy special. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| When's it coming out? | ||
| Friday at midnight on Comedy Central. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Why did you decide to do it in that style? | ||
| It's kind of interesting. | ||
| You did it like a TED Talk. | ||
| Because there's so many specials out there. | ||
| And I get to do my material when I do it that way, but add a little twist and an extra layer to it, and that'll make people be more interested in it than if I was just going to do like just a regular stand-up. | ||
| That's smart. | ||
| You clever bastard. | ||
| Once in a while I got an idea, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| And you got the microphone, a regular microphone, just sitting on the stool in case you change your mind. | ||
| Well, the last bit I used the mic. | ||
| You noticed that. | ||
| Yes, you did. | ||
| The last bit I do with the mic. | ||
| What is in your hand? | ||
| The clicker. | ||
| Because some of the topics, I put it on the screen. | ||
| Just like a TED talk. | ||
| You talk, you click the thing, your picture represents what you're talking about, and then you keep on going. | ||
| I've seen people do that before with TED Talks, and I've always thought that would be a good thing with comics. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because even when you look at your stand-up, you take on a topic, you dissect it, and you give people an alternate view of that topic, just like a TED Talk, and then you move on to the next one. | ||
| So comics like you and me and other people, it's a perfect format for our stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, are you doing that when you headline? | ||
| When you do headline gigs? | ||
| Nah, nah. | ||
| Maybe you should. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I thought about doing that. | ||
| Oh, right. | ||
| You did? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| I did. | ||
| I thought about it at one point in time, but I'm too lazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, like, I don't have merch or anything, so I don't bring in merch. | ||
| I don't want to have to make sure they have a screen or transport one and all that shit. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Then it gets cumbersome. | ||
| Well, I heard that Kevin Hart at one point in time had pyrotechnics. | ||
| Like, he would hit a punchline. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| Bam! | ||
| 20 foot tall flames and shoot through the sky in arenas. | ||
| I'm like, man. | ||
| You add to the stand-up. | ||
| It's like props, but way better. | ||
| I feel like props are one of the rare things where you can't do them anymore because Carrot Top owns that. | ||
| Whereas when I was a kid, man, there was prop comedians. | ||
| Yeah, there was a lot of them. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Jamie, you don't know about any of that. | ||
| I just remember a lot of ventriloquists and some people that were doing little prop things, but no one really had that truck full of fucking stuff. | ||
| They'd be the comic that'd show up to the mic with a briefcase, and then afterwards he has to gather stuff like a stripper after his set. | ||
| Yeah, they have a giant duffel bag. | ||
| Gallagher had a lot of stuff. | ||
| There was a guy that was... | ||
| He was really funny, man. | ||
| A guy in Boston that used to do that. | ||
| Fuck, I'm blanking on his name. | ||
| But he had glasses, and he had a real similar kind of act. | ||
| But it was kind of like science-based. | ||
| He had a bunch of weird shit that he would carry around. | ||
| Alex Zerbe? | ||
| Nope. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| No. | ||
| It was a long time ago. | ||
| You ever seen Chips Cooney? | ||
| Chips Cooney. | ||
| I've heard the name. | ||
| Yeah, he had props, but he was a fake magician. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So, like... | ||
| Remember the name of that Tupperware? | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| That expanded? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, that was one of his tricks. | ||
| It's just all goofball shit, but he was funny, like, you know, and then pull it out, that's the trick, and just keep going on to the next goofy thing. | ||
| There was a guy named Lenny Schultz, and he... | ||
| I remember. | ||
| Remember Crazy Lenny? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Yeah, he had a bunch of props. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I watched Steve Byrne's documentary on The Amazing Jonathan that he just put out. | ||
| It was really good. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Yeah, as a younger kid, I liked him just because of his zany, crazy shit he did, but watching the documentary was awesome. | ||
| Good job doing that. | ||
| Shout out to Steve Byrne. | ||
| What is it basically about? | ||
| He lived in excess, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely about that, sort of like his rise in maybe, I would say, fall, but then sort of how he came back. | ||
| He almost died. | ||
| It's a lot, too, about this fan that became his manager, and sort of he helped him and guided him along and apprenticed him a little bit, and just about the relationship and Pulled footage together. | ||
| It was just interesting. | ||
| He's an interesting guy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, those guys from the fucking 80s went hard, man. | ||
| That was the Kinnison era, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you wanted to be a wild man, you had to go hard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He figured out how to snort coke on stage. | ||
| He's just like, I'll make a joke about it. | ||
| It was supposed to be fake coke, but he was like, I'm really doing it. | ||
| Like a lot. | ||
| So he made a bit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was not a prop. | ||
| That's real shit. | ||
| I bet people have done a lot of Weasley shit like that. | ||
| Like, just put something into their act. | ||
| They'll pull something off. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like I would think. | ||
| One of the cooler things about comedy is also one of the weirder things. | ||
| It's so open-ended. | ||
| You get booked to the Bray Improv. | ||
| You show up. | ||
| Like, what's up, Ian? | ||
| How are you, man? | ||
| You're like, hey, this is my opening act. | ||
| They shake hands. | ||
| Everybody's cool. | ||
| They don't even ask you what you're going to talk about. | ||
| They got everybody sitting there. | ||
| People have paid money. | ||
| They've sold tickets. | ||
| They've sold drinks. | ||
| And they have not a clue as to what you're going to discuss. | ||
| And you just go up there and say whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| America. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What a weird way to make a living. | ||
| Yeah, and then you do the same thing for like a TV show or something. | ||
| You have to type it out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Send it to them. | ||
| They gotta look at it. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing about Netflix. | ||
| Netflix didn't say shit. | ||
| They just said, hey, we want to do a special with you. | ||
| I said, great. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| They said, okay, let's do it. | ||
| It was that easy. | ||
| We did it, and they said, okay, great, you did it. | ||
| We like it. | ||
| We'll put it up. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| I had to send Comedy Central a proof of concept. | ||
| I had to shoot the set in a small club, send it to them, and they're like, all right, okay. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, the good news is they approved. | ||
| It's on TV. And a special is always, in my opinion, really just an advertisement to get people to come see you. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Live. | ||
| So I'm glad the advertisement's out. | ||
| Oh yeah, me too. | ||
| I've said it before, I'll say it again while you're here, you're one of the best comics in the world. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Listen, so many times people come up to me, Rogan was talking about you. | ||
| Like, I don't even have to be on the show. | ||
| They're like, Rogan's talking about you. | ||
| People will come to a show because you just spoke about me. | ||
| But it's true though, man. | ||
| You and I have been friends for 20, what? | ||
| 28 years or some shit? | ||
| Something crazy. | ||
| It's a long fucking time. | ||
| But you've always been one of the best comics in the world, you know? | ||
| And I think right now... | ||
| Thank you, and you too, brother. | ||
| Your new shit, man. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That you're doing, it's not even the special. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was crying this weekend in Vegas. | ||
| That new thing... | ||
| I won't say what it is, but God damn, it's good. | ||
| It's really good, man. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| You know, I love the transition between when someone does a special to writing and working on new stuff. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Because then you just get this... | ||
| New angles and having to write shit. | ||
| It's like, I've been trying to tell this to Bobby Lee, who's another guy that is one of the best comics in the world. | ||
| And it's a fucking shame that Bobby Lee doesn't have a special. | ||
| And he doesn't, you know, it's like his thing is like, well, no, no, I won't be able to use that material anymore. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Like, yeah, but you'll write better stuff. | ||
| You'll be forced to. | ||
| I think he's shooting a special, though. | ||
| Yes, he's talking about it. | ||
| Yeah, because he asked me who directed mine. | ||
| So I was like, wait a minute, is Bobby about to shoot a special? | ||
| But he'll see what you've seen and what I'm seeing now, that how great it is to come up with a new set of material. | ||
| It's terrifying in first row. | ||
| Yeah, it's very terrifying. | ||
| I've had some amazing mediocre sets. | ||
| Jesus, I feel bad. | ||
| I know. | ||
| When you first trot out new stuff, it's like, you don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You just don't know. | ||
| And then you said something the other day when we was in Vegas. | ||
| You was talking to Ali. | ||
| We was all in the back after the show about how you had a joke that was new. | ||
| It was working. | ||
| You wrote it. | ||
| It's new. | ||
| It was working. | ||
| And then you broke it by over-fixing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then you had to take shit back out. | ||
| And that's happened to me during this... | ||
| New set of material too. | ||
| I started a joke, created it, and then broke it by overdoing stuff to it. | ||
| And then I had to like figure out what part that I put in there that threw it off and take it out and fix it back. | ||
| Well, it's always interesting to talk to someone that's really just a few years into comedy because then you've got to go over your own process and think about it more deeply. | ||
| One of the things that happens in jiu-jitsu is in jiu-jitsu you get better when you teach. | ||
| It's real strange. | ||
| A lot of guys that wind up getting a job teaching jiu-jitsu to beginners, their jiu-jitsu jumps. | ||
| It jumps up several notches. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| And I think sometimes that happens with comedy. | ||
| So when we're dealing with something like Ali, shout out to Ali Makovsky, our friend Ali, she's only been doing comedy for what? | ||
| Four years? | ||
| Somewhere around four or five years. | ||
| And she's just coming into her own. | ||
| And she's what? | ||
| Was she 22? | ||
| 22 or 23. 22 or 23. Very funny. | ||
| Very promising. | ||
| She was gonna come down and watch us she came to San Diego to watch when Tony and Andrew and I did that that giant arena down there because she's because she opens up for me all the time at the improv comedy store She's getting to be around all these assassins and she's getting to see it from the outside, | ||
| but that was her first time Opening and I was like because she said she was gonna come down to watch I said you want to do a set and she's like I was secretly hoping you would ask I said alright come on come do a set So she opened, she did 10 minutes in front of, you know, it's like 1,200 people. | ||
| It's a lot of people. | ||
| For her first big show in Vegas on a Friday night, she murdered. | ||
| And she did good. | ||
| She did great. | ||
| Super relaxed. | ||
| But when you're talking to someone who's up and coming like that, I love that. | ||
| I love talking to like Jesus. | ||
| Jesus Trio or like, you know, Frank Castillo or any of these guys coming up because you get a chance to talk to them about how you formulate stuff and you compare notes. | ||
| And sometimes they have interesting ways that they do it that I never considered, you know? | ||
| And sometimes people have interesting ways of thinking about their material. | ||
| They think about it when they go walk their dog. | ||
| They'll play their set in their ear. | ||
| Or, you know, when they go on hikes, they'll just go on a hike and think about one joke and try to work the joke out while they're hiking. | ||
| You can find out. | ||
| I've learned a lot from talking to younger comics too, so I get that completely. | ||
| The thing that's happening to you right now is the thing that happens to them, except the fact that you're far more skilled at it. | ||
| It's like they're trying to put together an act. | ||
| But you've already done it many, many times. | ||
| You've already put out specials and records so that when you're doing this, it's like, you know how to write jokes. | ||
| You're always writing new jokes. | ||
| You've been doing comedy forever. | ||
| But still, you're starting from jump. | ||
| When you start from zero, from ground zero, and then you try to put together an act that you hope people want to pay to see... | ||
| That's a terrifying spot. | ||
| Yeah, it's terrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there was a part of it in this new set of material that I was doing wrong. | ||
| Like, just the style of joke that I was writing. | ||
| And I just felt off. | ||
| Like, even when some of the bits were working. | ||
| And then I was in Atlanta a few weeks ago. | ||
| And then it just hit me what I was doing wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| You do the Laughing Skull? | ||
| Yeah, I was doing Laughing Skull. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best. | |
| Yeah, it's a dope-ass club. | ||
| A dope little room. | ||
| Yeah, and it's a great room to go headlining when you're, like, got new material that you need to just work out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I say about those rooms, like, the belly room and, like, the Laughing Skull, like, that's where you find out what's bullshit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I found out what was bullshit, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because sometimes you can, like, song and dance your way through a 300-seat room and trick them. | ||
| Like, enough people will start laughing to get the other people laughing. | ||
| And then you'll kind of go along with it and with your delivery and you can kind of make funny out of it. | ||
| But there's no momentum with 70 people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to, like, really make them laugh. | ||
| It's got to be real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With 70 people, you got... | ||
| I did a Jeremiah Watkins show, Stand Up on the Spot on Tuesday. | ||
| That's the best example of that, because they're yelling out subjects. | ||
| And you find out. | ||
| But that also, like constructing a new set, what's interesting about it is that you get a chance to figure something out and make it real. | ||
| What Bobby Lee's doing right now is working with tried and true material. | ||
| Tried and proven. | ||
| He kills every night. | ||
| He knows it's going to kill. | ||
| If it didn't kill, he'd be stunned. | ||
| He'd be like, what? | ||
| This is my shit. | ||
| I've been killing with this for four years. | ||
| He knows what he's doing. | ||
| He's just a funny machine. | ||
| I don't even know how to describe it. | ||
| Just him. | ||
| He's just a funny-ass fucking... | ||
| So funny. | ||
| And not enough people know. | ||
| Because most people know him from podcasts, and that helps for sure. | ||
| And from television shows, that helps for sure. | ||
| But there needs to be something people can see of his stand-up. | ||
| So we're getting him. | ||
| He's listening. | ||
| It's like he's a slow, but he'll listen. | ||
| Take a little time. | ||
| He listens. | ||
| He's getting in there. | ||
| He's getting in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's too good. | |
| Yeah, he's too good. | ||
| The other one's Owen Smith. | ||
| Yeah, yes. | ||
| Owen Smith. | ||
| Too good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Too good. | ||
| Has his own style. | ||
| Fucking funny. | ||
| He's a murderer. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| He's a top flight headliner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not like a good headliner. | ||
| Like a top of the food chain headliner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if someone told me Owen Smith was selling out arenas, I'd be like, good. | ||
| Should have been happening a long time ago. | ||
| And as much as Kevin Hart or fucking fill in the blank, whoever can sell out giant-ass places, Owen Smith's material is as good as it gets. | ||
| It belongs in those places. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And sometimes these guys, they just don't do... | ||
| They don't do enough road work or they don't do enough. | ||
| They've got writing jobs or something takes them off the path where people don't necessarily see. | ||
| They do a lot of acting. | ||
| It's all different little paths that kind of deviate you away from... | ||
| From stand-up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I think I went down that path when I was on Fear Factor. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| When I was on Fear Factor, I didn't really tour much. | ||
| You know, it was mostly just being around L.A. because we were filming so much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We filmed so many episodes. | ||
| And you guys traveled a lot to different places? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That shit is exhausting, man. | ||
| Exhausting. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it was exhausting, too, because you'd be filming all day. | ||
| You'd be out in the heat. | ||
| And then you would come back. | ||
| And after that, I would do stand-up at night. | ||
| And I was just like, I'm just going to do the store and then go home. | ||
| I wasn't going to travel anywhere. | ||
| I mean, I did a little bit, but not much. | ||
| So, it's like things can be good, where it's like it's great to have a good gig, but those things can be bad because it ultimately takes you away from your stand-up. | ||
| I mean, Louis C.K. said that to me once. | ||
| He was in the period... | ||
| After he stopped doing his show. | ||
| He just stopped doing it for a while. | ||
| And he said, I haven't done anything other than stand-up for a year. | ||
| And I said, what made you do that? | ||
| He goes, I just wanted to really concentrate on stand-up. | ||
| He said, I don't think you could be at your best while you do other things. | ||
| He goes, I think you could be good, but I think at your best, you really have to just do stand-up. | ||
| I think he's right. | ||
| Even if you don't do much in that day, and if you just write one line or one tag or something, it just counts so much towards the whole thing. | ||
| And by the end of the year, where you end up is going to be way further than you would have been. | ||
| I think it's not an even formula, though, because I do think that there's some value in taking some time and doing things as well. | ||
| There's value in vacations. | ||
| There's value in experiences. | ||
| And then there's also you have to do a lot of stand-up. | ||
| It's like both things are true. | ||
| Because if you only do stand-up, one of the things that does happen is guys lose their point of references. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because their whole life revolves around traveling, so you get a lot of airplane jokes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it revolves around drinking, because people drink at clubs. | ||
| You don't have enough experiences. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You got to live a little. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| To put it on the paper, to bring it on stage. | ||
| You gotta live a little. | ||
| I think that's something that gets missed. | ||
| But it's not a perfect formula. | ||
| It's also like, how much enthusiasm do you have? | ||
| Sometimes the more enthusiasm... | ||
| You feel good about it when you take time off and it makes you better. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You just have to know. | ||
| It's just like an athlete, like in England, the soccer season is over, right? | ||
| So the soccer players go on vacation. | ||
| But while they're on vacation, you got to get in a month or so, you got to get back to training in a month or so. | ||
| But you can't go back to camp out of shape. | ||
| So there's a point where you have to be with a trainer while you're kind of off for the season, getting in shape. | ||
| So that when you go to camp, you're not out of shape and you're losing your spot on it. | ||
| It's just a delicate balance of everything. | ||
| Yeah, that makes sense. | ||
| And also, it's so insanely competitive, right? | ||
| There's so many people lined up ready to take your spot. | ||
| You can't get fat when you're on vacation. | ||
| But so is comedy. | ||
| It's like when you shoot a special and then the guy that couldn't follow you is killing because he still has his material. | ||
| That he's been had and you're like not doing as good because you're working on shit. | ||
| It kind of fucks with me a little bit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Just the competitiveness of me. | ||
| And then I say, hey man, this is just a natural order of things. | ||
| Just keep doing what you're doing and everything is going to be fine. | ||
| You figure it out. | ||
| You're growing again. | ||
| there's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| Whenever new bits come to life and they start to really work, I go, okay, just trust in the process. | ||
| This is what happens. | ||
| You trust the process, keep grinding, but you have to do that. | ||
| if you don't put in that time if you just decide oh I need a new act but you don't work on it it's not gonna just show up nah it's easy you have to you have to make the That process is a real thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's going to be some sets just suck. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| Like, yeah. | ||
| You take one old joke, go on stage, and there's some butter... | ||
| But one thing is true for sure for me is that when someone like you is writing new stuff and that new stuff kills, like this past weekend, that makes me excited about writing new shit. | ||
| I go, oh my god, it's out there. | ||
| I gotta find it. | ||
| I gotta find the bits. | ||
| They're out there. | ||
| Look, he just found two giant juicy ones. | ||
| It's like someone coming back from a fishing trip. | ||
| Oh, is that tuna? | ||
| I'm calling tuna fish, man. | ||
| It's out there. | ||
| Oh, it's out there. | ||
| There's gold in San Francisco. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Go dig it. | ||
| It's gold in them nar hills. | ||
| I always see you go find new material, so it's always good. | ||
| We both had new shit this weekend, and we're enthusiastic about it and excited about it, so it adds a different level to just going out to do a show that we would normally do. | ||
| And then we get to talk about it afterwards with the excitement of how new the material is and how it's coming along. | ||
| That's a level of fun right there. | ||
| You don't experience unless you're out there writing and growing. | ||
| Yeah, there's no other way around it. | ||
| And I think that's a metaphor for life. | ||
| I think the people that get stagnant in life, the thing is because you're not taking any chances. | ||
| You're not doing anything new. | ||
| You're not growing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You gotta... | ||
| I mean, and artistically with stand-up, it's one of the rare art forms where you cannot do the old stuff. | ||
| They don't... | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, maybe if you're Jim Gaffigan, people want to hear Hot Pockets, but they also want to hear Our A New Shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, maybe if you're Burt Kreischer, they want to hear The Machine Story. | ||
| He says they get mad if he doesn't tell The Machine Story. | ||
| He doesn't tell The Machine Story. | ||
| They just take his shirt off. | ||
| They get mad at his clothes. | ||
| What if he starts taking his pants off and then just puts them back on? | ||
| They go, hey! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Fucking pants on! | ||
| Why are you pants on, bro? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| We're all party and pants free! | ||
| That'd be his new shirt. | ||
| Party and pants free. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Party with no pants or party and pants free? | ||
| Party and pants free is better. | ||
| Party and pants free, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Bert Kreischer, there you go. | ||
| That's the name of your new special. | ||
| Party and pants free. | ||
| Just you fat as fuck with boxer shorts. | ||
| Talking shit about Sober October. | ||
| Tidy Whites would be way better. | ||
| Tidy Whites. | ||
| Go all in. | ||
| Yeah, but boxer shorts, when he moves funny, his dickhole will open up a little bit. | ||
| You can get a peer into the monster. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, how about just Speedos? | |
| How about Burt on stage with Speedos on? | ||
| Speedos don't seem like a comfort move. | ||
| Seems like a bad decision. | ||
| That's not someone who really wants their dick to be caressed and cradled. | ||
| Speedos are like you're punishing your dick. | ||
| It's like a tent in a storm. | ||
| You're nailing it down. | ||
| Punishing it or showing it off. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If you've got a hog. | ||
| Instead of getting a penis enlargement, buy Speedos. | ||
| Yeah, just take your circumcised dick and pull it all the way down so it's a full erection. | ||
| Amen. | ||
| And then put a ring, a rubber ring around the base of the balls to contract all the blood, constrict all the blood. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing that someone figured that out, right? | ||
| Cock rings? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm, how do I stay hard here? | |
| There's got to be a way. | ||
| Just put a rubber band at the base of your dick. | ||
| Pre-viagra. | ||
| Yeah, yikes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Yeah, that's one thing that if they do ever come out, I used to have a bit about that, if they ever come out with a pill, like a boner or a dick enlargement pill, if that actually works, it'd be 30 seconds later the first dude would die of an overdose. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're not going to just take one. | ||
| You're going to find out how many give me a stroke. | ||
| How big did you want it? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, I had a whole, there was a whole sequence where women would evolve because people would still have sex but the dicks would get bigger and the women would develop these flying squirrel pussies. | ||
| They would just jump off cliffs to get away from dudes who were chasing after them with their big dicks and shopping carts. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| They'd grow wings. | ||
| Why are women growing wings? | ||
| Just to fit so people could mate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, if you could grow a big... | ||
| Have you ever watched a porn and said, that's just too much? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It comes a certain point in time where, like, how big do you want your arms, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Do you want a big arm or do you want an arm where the bicep touches your fingers when you go like this? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Do you want that? | ||
| Oh, you can't even move. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't even move. | |
| It's too big. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That means you can never do this. | ||
| You can't do anything. | ||
| You're like this. | ||
| You probably can't even walk. | ||
| You're just too heavy. | ||
| You're probably waddling everywhere you go. | ||
| You weigh 600 pounds and you're 5'8". | ||
| How the fuck are you doing that, right? | ||
| There's too much. | ||
| You can get too much. | ||
| You can get too much dick. | ||
| But I bet it's like... | ||
| I bet it's like those girls who get body dysmorphia with their breast socks. | ||
| Some girls go crazy. | ||
| Like, they have triple E's and they need them in F. They get nuts. | ||
| They don't see it like the way you're saying it. | ||
| That's how it happens with anorexics, bodybuilders. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's goddamn bananas. | ||
| It is. | ||
| The dick thing is a weird one, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's definitely going to happen since women overdo it with the breast size. | ||
| Like you said, they can't see how weird it looks. | ||
| Yeah, it's a normal thing with humans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Have you seen those guys that inject their muscles with oil? | ||
| It makes their muscles swell up like balloons. | ||
| It looks so fake, but they don't see it. | ||
| It's body dysmorphia. | ||
| It's the same thing that an anorexic gets when they don't recognize that they look like a skeleton. | ||
| When we was at the airport in Vegas and we're waiting for your pool thing, there was this chick and she had like a weird butt. | ||
| Poor girl. | ||
| And it wasn't real. | ||
| And you could tell, only she didn't know that it didn't look real. | ||
| She probably thought it looked amazing, right? | ||
| Yeah, she was walking around with pure confidence. | ||
| Look at that, bitch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| People get strange because the butt thing is treated differently than the boob thing. | ||
| Like a woman with really large fake breasts is still hot. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But a woman with really large fake butt is like, come on. | ||
| Yeah, that comes off crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And fake lips. | ||
| It's another one. | ||
| That's crazy too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, we have rules. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah, fake lips is like, what am I supposed to do? | ||
| Just pretend this is not happening in front of me right now? | ||
| Well, it's also, it fucks with your, apparently we have an, when we see a certain person, when we see people's faces, we have an expectation to where things are going to be, based on where things are. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's all like the Fibonacci sequence. | ||
| Like the golden ratio, the way your face is designed. | ||
| Like Ari Shafir. | ||
| If Ari Shafir had a tiny nose, you'd be like, what is wrong with your face? | ||
| Your face is supposed to have a big nose. | ||
| This is like how you're... | ||
| That style of face is supposed to come with that style of nose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if it doesn't, it's weird. | ||
| But then you look at a guy like Greg Fitzsimmons, there's a little nose. | ||
| If he had Ari's nose, you'd be like, what is that nose doing on your face? | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| It's like you fuck with that when you do something to make something bigger or wider with your face. | ||
| You know how people get tattoos and different things? | ||
| Suppose people start enlarging areas of their face. | ||
| You're just getting bigger hairs, bigger noses. | ||
| What if big ears come into face? | ||
| Dumbo ears. | ||
| It's a new thing. | ||
| Well, how about those holes where people stretch? | ||
| They do those cages and they pull their fucking ear hole out. | ||
| They put that... | ||
| Earring hole at the bottom, make it giant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a hoop. | ||
| That's bananas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, what are you doing to your ears? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, I don't want to fuck up the chance of me not being able to hear some shit. | ||
| I don't think it does. | ||
| I don't think it does, but it's just... | ||
| I'm not doing anything personally that's close to anything that I need. | ||
| I need this for what I need this for. | ||
| I'm not going to do anything to it that might... | ||
| Jeopardize it in any way. | ||
| I always feel like that about cauliflower ear, too. | ||
| I go to all the years that I did jujitsu, I don't have cauliflower ear because I always wore ear guards. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like, if you fuck with the shape of your ear, it fucks with the way sound goes in there. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Like, take your ear and then talk. | ||
| Go blah, blah, blah. | ||
| Now, put the tips of your fingers on the top of your ear and then fold them down. | ||
| La, la, la, la, la, la, la. | ||
| It changes the way sounds are. | ||
| It changes sound. | ||
| Like, this helps sound. | ||
| These are speakers. | ||
| These are bows. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, you're fucking with your bows. | ||
| You're fucking with your bows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| It's the shape. | ||
| Nature figured out a shape to collect all that sound and get it inside your ear holes. | ||
| But when you're outside of your ear, it's like a rock. | ||
| Like a lot of these wrestlers and jiu-jitsu guys, it's all calcified. | ||
| So with that cauliflower ear, I don't know if you ever touched a cauliflower ear? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's like a rock under the surface. | ||
| It's like a calcium rock. | ||
| That's what it's like. | ||
| Because what it is, is the break in the skin, it swells up because it bleeds, and then that blood calcifies and hardens. | ||
| And the only way to fix it, my friend Brett had his fixed. | ||
| Brent, my friend Brent had it fixed. | ||
| They had to cut his ear like a fish. | ||
| They had to fillet it. | ||
| And then they had to open it up and scrape out all the hard tissue and then sew it back up together. | ||
| And he couldn't do jujitsu forever. | ||
| Because if he did jujitsu again after the operation, it would break open and start bleeding again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I was looking for a picture where a guy gets this part. | ||
| I've seen people with a plug and a hole on the inner part here. | ||
| Oh, I've seen that, yeah. | ||
| But this guy took it to a whole other fucking spot. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, is it his nose? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| You can see inside his nose and shit. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| But, like, that definitely fucks with his hearing, 100%. | ||
| Oh, yeah, 100%. | ||
| He's got a giant gauge hole in the bottom and a medium gauge hole in the top and then big ones on his nostrils where his nostrils he has like the bottom hole where his nostrils are and then above the nostril he's got two huge holes where you can see the septum. | ||
| He opened up the side of his nostrils. | ||
| A quarter size hole easily, right? | ||
| I can't say that dude's real happy. | ||
| I just don't see it. | ||
| I don't understand that look. | ||
| But hey. | ||
| Hey man. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Ian Edwards will be with me with Dave Chappelle in Tacoma, Washington, and then Salt Lake City. | ||
| Salt Lake City the next day, which is August 3rd, tickets just went on sale. | ||
| Damn, so... | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think they're on sale on Friday. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they went on pre-soil. | ||
| The way Dave does it, you have to register as a legit fan, like a human being. | ||
| They have to make sure that you're not a ticket agency that's scalping these tickets and buying them up in Massachusetts. | ||
| And then selling them back. | ||
| So Ian Edwards, you have to show your driver's license or something. | ||
| I don't know how they verify it. | ||
| And then once you register, then you could buy the tickets. | ||
| And it's for those people for a while. | ||
| And then after that, then it's opened up to the general public, I think, on Saturday. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| But Ian's going to be with me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Donnell... | |
| I don't know if... | ||
| Rollins? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know if that's been announced, but I just announced it. | ||
| Donnell Rollins is going to be there, too. | ||
| I'm fucking pumped. | ||
| We're going to have some fun. | ||
| That's going to be crazy. | ||
| Those are going to be wild. | ||
| That's going to be fucking crazy, bro. | ||
| Like, if this weekend was crazy, that weekend is going to be fucking crazy. | ||
| Tacoma sold out in a day. | ||
| 20,000 people. | ||
| It's going to be nuts. | ||
| No sleep. | ||
| I'm not expecting any sleep. | ||
| No, we're going to have some fun. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's going to be crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All right, so tell people your special. | ||
| It's this weekend. | ||
| Friday, this Friday, July 12th on Comedy Central at midnight. | ||
| Check it out. | ||
| Ian Talks. | ||
| Bill Burr presents Ian Talk. | ||
| And if it, once it, All Things Comedy did it, right? | ||
| Yeah, All Things Comedy. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| And then once it's out, will it be able to be streamed on Comedy Central's streaming service? | ||
| Yeah, download the app or just go to ComedyCentral.com and you'll be able to see it there. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Powerful Ian Edwards. | ||
| Thanks, brother. | ||
| Thank you, my friend. | ||
| Much love. |
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