May 23, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:32:09
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Australia. | ||
| Two. | ||
| Salute, my brother. | ||
| Salute, brother. | ||
| What does it feel like having a Showtime special? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I feel the same. | ||
| A little more stressed out. | ||
| A little stressed out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stay away from them comments, son. | ||
| Here's the whole deal with all that stuff, man. | ||
| You put it out, you watch it, you hate it, you get better. | ||
| Forces you. | ||
| Forces you to work. | ||
| I fucking hate everything I do. | ||
| There's no getting around it. | ||
| You're gonna hate it. | ||
| You hate hearing yourself, right? | ||
| The editing is painful. | ||
| The worst. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you'll get better. | |
| You just take some of the criticism to heart, understand what people are saying. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Fucking keep it on, my brother. | ||
| I'm happy about it. | ||
| I think I'm stressed out this week. | ||
| Last week I was doing publicity for New York, hustling, doing all that. | ||
| I saw you did Breakfast Club. | ||
| You and Charlamagne need to get together. | ||
| You guys are going to be great, man. | ||
| I was listening to his audio book. | ||
| It's very interesting. | ||
| He's had some real bouts with anxiety. | ||
| Weird anxiety. | ||
| Yeah, weird anxiety, right? | ||
| Shook Ones, I think, is his book? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think it comes from talking shit. | ||
| I think when you talk a lot of shit, you worry about shit coming back at you and you're like, Jesus, what did I say? | ||
| At least that's how it is for me. | ||
| It depends. | ||
| If it's like legit, like when me and Dana were going at it, I was stressed. | ||
| Because it brings out the evilness in people. | ||
| Everyone's like, oh, I hope he tears them up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I hope he responds. | |
| People jump in. | ||
| Yeah, and then you're like, oh, I don't really want this. | ||
| Did you see Gaffigan and Neil Brennan? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way! | |
| Gaffigan lit Neil Brennan on fire and shit on his embers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| For what? | ||
| Neil started it! | ||
| Why? | ||
| Neil started it. | ||
| I'm going to send it to Jamie. | ||
| I'm going to send it to Jamie. | ||
| Oh, I'm so excited for this. | ||
| In my Sober October text message group. | ||
| And listen, I love Neil. | ||
| Oh, he's one of my favorite people. | ||
| But when someone gets roasted, someone gets roasted. | ||
| And it's even better because he started it. | ||
| He started it for no reason. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| He tried to be snarky. | ||
| Here, Jamie, I'm sending this to you right now. | ||
| Jim Gafkin is a ma-ma-ma-monster fantastic in Transylvania 3. Was he? | ||
| Oh, amazing. | ||
| Oh, I saw that. | ||
| Which one was he? | ||
| He was Van Helsing. | ||
| Was he really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh my god, he's amazing. | ||
| Great. | ||
| I love those movies. | ||
| Love them. | ||
| They're fun. | ||
| I love when my son gets into that stuff. | ||
| The fucking animation today is so incredible. | ||
| I find myself sitting there watching the animation going, this is amazing. | ||
| The shading and just the detail of it. | ||
| We can get into it. | ||
| Even if it's meant for kids, as a parent, I'm good, man. | ||
| Did you watch The Despicable Me's? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're great. | |
| They're great. | ||
| Part 3's amazing. | ||
| All three of them are great. | ||
| I love Part 3 with the 80s soundtrack. | ||
| It's the guy, the creator from South Park. | ||
| And isn't there another one with just the fucking yellow dudes? | ||
| The Minions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| That's good, too. | ||
| That's good, too. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that one. | ||
| A little long. | ||
| Towards the end, it gets a little weird when they get to London, but very good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're good, man. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| So this is to text Brennan. | ||
| So what happens is Gaffigan puts up a thing saying, hey, why are you looking at your phone? | ||
| You could be watching my Netflix special. | ||
| I made them all for you. | ||
| And he says, Neil says, which one has the joke about food? | ||
| You say like a food and then you talk about it and I'd be over here dying. | ||
| And then Gaffigan says, Neil, it's the special where I have three microphones. | ||
| One microphone is for jokes I pretend I can't remember that I read off a card. | ||
| One mic is for emotional manipulation of the audience. | ||
| And one microphone is for mentioning the Chappelle show and celebrity friends. | ||
| Boom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| That's like... | ||
| Awkward. | ||
| That's like one of those bombs that goes off in the distance. | ||
| You just hear... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| And we're just like this with... | ||
| We got a little frisky. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Got a little frisky. | ||
| Sometimes those guys fire back. | ||
| Sometimes those guys fire back. | ||
| Got a little vulnerable spot right there. | ||
| The liver was exposed. | ||
| Neil just bowed out. | ||
| Thank you for your time. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Yeah, you're supposed to bow out there. | ||
| You fucked up. | ||
| You're supposed to say, ouch, you got me. | ||
| Just joking, man. | ||
| When King of the Sting, Theo and I roast each other, and he's so good at it, sometimes I'm just like, I'm going to sit out, man. | ||
| Just go. | ||
| Go ahead, man. | ||
| I got nothing. | ||
| I've ran out of material, Theo. | ||
| Go ahead, bro. | ||
| Some of the things he says are so Theo. | ||
| Theo is like, there's a few guys. | ||
| Theo's one of them. | ||
| Sebastian's another one that have a style of comedy that you will never be able to explain to someone. | ||
| They've got to go see him. | ||
| You've got to listen to him. | ||
| And it's so strange where the King This Thing podcast is mostly me saying something pretty average and then Theo just saying the most outlandish thing and me laughing my ass off. | ||
| The funnest show ever. | ||
| You guys go back and forth at each other. | ||
| It's very funny. | ||
| He's so funny, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's a unique dude. | ||
| Very unique dude. | ||
| As unique as they get. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's in Australia right now. | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| He's in Australia? | ||
| He's in Australia right now. | ||
| And he goes, yeah, this is this morning. | ||
| He goes, yeah, man, got a koala coming to the hotel. | ||
| And I went, oh, shit, man, those things have chlamydia, so make sure you wash your hands. | ||
| And he goes, shit, I have some things, too. | ||
| He better wash his hands. | ||
| I'm just like, alright dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright man. | |
| He's so stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He better wash his hands. | |
| Oh my god, that's funny. | ||
| But it's legit a koala's coming over to his fucking hotel. | ||
| That's so Theo! | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| Brody was that way too. | ||
| Brody had that unique style too. | ||
| He's so special, man. | ||
| Theo's so special. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is very unusual. | |
| And you just know it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| You just know it, man. | ||
| People were asking what it's like to work with Theo. | ||
| All you guys, and I said, with Theo, it's like, he's the LeBron James of comedy. | ||
| He's so creative. | ||
| I'm just that shitty coach on the side trying to manage this ball game. | ||
| Not to fuck it up, man. | ||
| But he's just... | ||
| I mean, there's other guys that are funny, but they're funny in a regular way. | ||
| Like, oh, he's really good. | ||
| His jokes are great. | ||
| Oh, he's got a great presence. | ||
| He's great on stage. | ||
| But Theo's like, try to explain that. | ||
| You can't explain that. | ||
| You gotta go see him. | ||
| It's a magical cluster of dark magic from New Orleans. | ||
| Where he'll say something, and I'm like... | ||
| There's certain guys I can watch and I'll go, oh, he's definitely, his IQ might be higher than mine, but I see how he got there with this premise of a joke. | ||
| With Theo, I'm like, I have no idea how he got there. | ||
| It's not happening. | ||
| You know who gives me stress when I look at his schedule? | ||
| Russell Peters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, he's all over the fucking planet. | |
| He goes to Africa for like six weeks. | ||
| Did you hear Michael Bisping almost got fucking robbed in Africa? | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| Yeah, he was doing a movie. | ||
| What the fuck was he doing in Africa? | ||
| He was doing a movie. | ||
| Expendables 19? | ||
| I don't know what it was. | ||
| He's doing a movie. | ||
| He got a little liquored up. | ||
| His cab dropped him off and said, your hotel's over there. | ||
| He get out of the cab. | ||
| He's like, where the fuck's my hotel? | ||
| The cab driver drives off. | ||
| He's like looking around where the hotel is. | ||
| And he said like 10 dudes just started rolling up on him saying, I want your wallet. | ||
| You know, if you want to live, you'll give me your wallet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is this South Africa or is this like Francis Ngannou? | ||
| I think he said Pretoria. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Yeah, so he ran. | ||
| And he got away, obviously. | ||
| Yeah, he got away. | ||
| Surprised he didn't get caught, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Black guy. | ||
| He's a big fella, you know? | ||
| Michael Bissing's a big fella. | ||
| He knows how to fight, and they probably could sense that a little bit. | ||
| But if there's ten of them, they usually don't give a fuck. | ||
| And he's probably hammered, too. | ||
| What if it was ten Francis Ngannos? | ||
| Then you're giving your wallet, and the homies are running a train. | ||
| Bro, what if there's one Francis Ngannos? | ||
| What the fuck are you going to do? | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| What the fuck are you going to do? | ||
| Nothing, dude. | ||
| I love Bisping, man. | ||
| Eddie Izzard was telling me that when he was running, he ran like 27 marathons in South Africa, and when he went through certain sections of South Africa, they go, stop, you are not running through this area. | ||
| We're going to put you in a car, we're going to drive you to where it's safe, and then you're going to continue your run. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God damn. | |
| He goes, but you will get robbed. | ||
| Like, there's areas where you just will get robbed. | ||
| I have no interest in going to Africa. | ||
| Everyone's like, oh, it's beautiful. | ||
| Very cool. | ||
| I want to go. | ||
| You really? | ||
| Yeah, I want to go. | ||
| I want to see what those animals look like in the wild. | ||
| I would love to see, you know, before we fuck Africa up. | ||
| You got 12 years, they say. | ||
| Before everything's gone? | ||
| Before the way humans are fucking up the world, there's no going back. | ||
| If we don't make a change now. | ||
| That sounds like a Michael Jackson song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, that... | |
| That's from the ending of Little Dicky's new video of saving the world, but it does say it's like earth.org. | ||
| It's like that's a quote from them. | ||
| I don't think they know. | ||
| See, the reality is they know there's a real problem with carbon in the environment. | ||
| They know that human beings have put carbon in the environment in unprecedented levels, and they know that the earth is heating up rapidly. | ||
| But they don't know what exactly is going to happen. | ||
| There's some models they predict. | ||
| None of them look good. | ||
| They don't really know. | ||
| No one really knows. | ||
| Some people are like, oh, global warming's not real. | ||
| Obviously our president doesn't think it is. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| But if you go back to the 1990s, they were predicting shit was going to happen that never happened. | ||
| Same thing with the 2000s. | ||
| But here we are in 2019, you know, we should listen to them because we're definitely fucking up. | ||
| Definitely fucking up. | ||
| You see the whales and stuff with like trash on their stomach and dying and birds. | ||
| That's a giant problem. | ||
| There's also too many people. | ||
| But what are you going to do? | ||
| Well, there's two schools of thought on that even. | ||
| The schools of thought on people is what happens is as the world gets more and more westernized, as people start developing careers, people have less and less kids. | ||
| And that if you look at Japan and you look at some westernized nations, they actually have a shortage of kids. | ||
| And they think that, and this is purely speculative, right? | ||
| It's just theoretical. | ||
| They think that as the world becomes more and more industrialized and westernized and more technology and more advanced, that people will start to have less kids. | ||
| That's a fair point. | ||
| But also, even Americans, they're having kids later, and I think less as well. | ||
| But also, isn't there parts of Australia and Africa where no one's really there, so if we had to, we could colonize that and make it more livable? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Bro, the parts of Australia where no one lives, no one wants to live. | ||
| You don't want to live in the fucking middle where all the crocodiles are and shit. | ||
| But we could figure it out. | ||
| Yeah, you could figure it out. | ||
| Shoot a couple crocs, build a loft. | ||
| Snakes everywhere that'll kill you. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of parts of Australia. | ||
| Australia's huge. | ||
| It's as big as the United States. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| But there's giant parts of Africa, too. | ||
| Giant parts where we could live if we had to. | ||
| But Australia has less people than L.A. I know. | ||
| The whole goddamn country. | ||
| You've been there, right? | ||
| Yeah, a bunch. | ||
| I love it there. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Nice people. | ||
| I'm sure you've done comedy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, a bunch of times. | ||
| The best. | ||
| Yeah, Sydney, Melbourne. | ||
| Melbourne's great. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| I love Sydney, too, though. | ||
| Have a great time there. | ||
| Have you been to New Zealand? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, I've never been to New Zealand. | ||
| Dude, it's straight off of Jurassic Park. | ||
| What'd you do there? | ||
| Comedy. | ||
| No shit, why? | ||
| Did a theater in New Zealand. | ||
| When'd you do this? | ||
| I think like a year and a half, two years ago, I did a tour of Australia and New Zealand. | ||
| Damn, that's when you were Justin. | ||
| I'm starting, too. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| No openers came out cold. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Why'd you do that? | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| No one... | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wouldn't have told you. | |
| You didn't ask. | ||
| How do you go to Australia and just go by yourself, man? | ||
| You didn't even ask. | ||
| Nah, I just went, dude. | ||
| Here I am. | ||
| Showtime. | ||
| Special. | ||
| It was fun, though. | ||
| Good experiences. | ||
| Oh, they're good people. | ||
| I like the people. | ||
| Everybody I met from New Zealand is very similar to Australian people, very down-to-earth. | ||
| Super nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a beautiful place, man. | ||
| I mean, they did The Hobbit there for a fucking reason. | ||
| Yeah, good point. | ||
| Good food, good people. | ||
| Not that I could ever leave LA, but I could live somewhere like that. | ||
| I could live in Australia. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| It's very American, but clean, I feel like. | ||
| Yeah, but the driving on the wrong side of the road shit, like, get it together, folks. | ||
| We invented cars. | ||
| The fuck are you doing over there in the left lane? | ||
| That is strange. | ||
| Do you know where that came from? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Now, correct me. | ||
| This is bro science. | ||
| But when they were developing, it was like the wagons with the horses. | ||
| It's for sword fighting, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, for horses and sword fighters. | ||
| Oh, yes! | ||
| You got it. | ||
| That's why you swing a sword with your right arm. | ||
| You want your right arm to be facing your opponent. | ||
| You want to be free, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't want the dude to be over here on this side. | ||
| You got to reach over and try to hack at him. | ||
| Doesn't make sense. | ||
| But here's a little loophole. | ||
| If you want a dope-ass rear car, you can get one with driving on the right, and it's going to be cheaper. | ||
| So if you want a Ferrari F12 TDF, like a limited one, you can save money if you get one that's set up on the right. | ||
| They set up on the right like an English car would be? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Because they're harder to resell because there's less, less people. | ||
| Just throw them away. | ||
| Oh, come on, dude. | ||
| Fix it. | ||
| But you could just drive on the right. | ||
| You're still in a dope-ass ride. | ||
| Can they switch it out? | ||
| Ugh, it'd be expensive. | ||
| Probably just buy it on the other side for the price. | ||
| What are they going to do? | ||
| Switch it out. | ||
| They'd have to change everything. | ||
| That's a nightmare. | ||
| I saw they did that to this Revology car, this 1965 Mustang. | ||
| They built one that was on right-hand drive, and I'm looking at it, and I'm like, this is all so screwy. | ||
| Why would people not come to an agreement on which side of the road to drive on all over the world? | ||
| It's very strange that they just stick with it. | ||
| Yeah, and it differs. | ||
| In Europe, it differs from country to country. | ||
| Yeah, it's almost an ego thing now, right? | ||
| Where they're like, nah, fuck, it refused to change. | ||
| Ah, most of the world's on the left, though, man. | ||
| We don't care. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, Germany makes the best cars, or some of the best cars. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| They're on the left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Europe makes the best cars, and they're on the left, right? | |
| America makes some pretty good cars, but really the reality is they can't go toe-to-toe with Europe. | ||
| They just can't. | ||
| Dude, I was at this private car dealer, and there's those Paganis. | ||
| Have you ever seen those? | ||
| That's like a million-dollar car, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some of them are, you know, you're looking... | ||
| Six, seven million dollars. | ||
| Paganis. | ||
| There's Bugattis, the rare brand new Bugatti. | ||
| And then there's all these limited edition Ferraris and Lamborghinis. | ||
| And he goes, oh, Floyd bought that one. | ||
| You can send it, though. | ||
| He won't care if you can send it. | ||
| And it was all like carbon fiber. | ||
| And I was like, how much is it? | ||
| And whatever the new Bugatti is, but there's a markup on them because there's only like 20 of them where the fuck it is. | ||
| And it was so expensive, I got nervous. | ||
| I went, I'm good, man. | ||
| He goes, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I went, nah, I don't feel comfortable. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I just didn't feel comfortable opening this thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I felt very- It's a couple million dollars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's crazy that you could buy a car that's worth more than most people's houses. | ||
| 99% of the world's houses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 99.9% of the world's houses. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're just twerking that thing around. | ||
| Yeah, and you're just driving around in this thing that you can't even sleep in. | ||
| And then most... | ||
| You can't do shit. | ||
| You can't shower. | ||
| Drive fast as shit. | ||
| Drive fast as shit. | ||
| 25G's just to change the tires, though. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yeah, every year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious. | |
| If you're driving it. | ||
| Is this it right here? | ||
| Do you see how it's already scratching? | ||
| Go back to the beginning of that video. | ||
| Look at the underside. | ||
| The underside of that thing is jacked. | ||
| And that's all carbon fiber, so he scratched the fuck out of it, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, those cars, they scratch every time you hit a bump, every time you go over curbs. | ||
| And that's the old one, Jamie. | ||
| When I have my little red car, the little red Porsche, every time I leave the comic store, it's scrape. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's embarrassing. | ||
| It's annoying. | ||
| And it's so sad. | ||
| It's sad. | ||
| I didn't mind the other day. | ||
| I was taking my dad to get ice cream. | ||
| I hit the front of my car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scrape. | |
| Ruined my night. | ||
| Ruined my night. | ||
| My dad goes, what do you want? | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I was so disappointed. | ||
| So sad. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's just a car though, right? | ||
| It is just a car. | ||
| What's the problem with nice things? | ||
| They become little velvet prisons. | ||
| But you gotta drive them. | ||
| Like the dealer I was talking to where all these freaking dudes buy these million dollar cars. | ||
| He's like, you know what bothers me is they don't drive them. | ||
| None of them drive them. | ||
| For them it's investment and then they flip them years from now. | ||
| He goes, we want people that drive the cars. | ||
| And now what Ferrari's doing, if you want an Enzo, you want a certain limited run TDF or the Pizza, if you want some of those real limited edition ones, they look at your history because you have to own the past 10 Ferraris. | ||
| Yeah, they have a weird curriculum if you want to get a special limited edition. | ||
| But now they check if you've driven it. | ||
| If you're just a collector, they don't sell them to you anymore. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Certain ones, they go back and look at your history. | ||
| You have to own all the old Ferraris to qualify to buy a Ferrari? | ||
| Certain Ferraris. | ||
| To get on the accolation, like on the list. | ||
| So if you want the new, whatever, the super fast, the limited TDF they're going to do, you have to own all the V12s and certain ones before that. | ||
| That is hilarious because that just shows you how goofy people are. | ||
| Like, they know that people are goofy, and they know that all you have to do is, like, sneak in on them some sort of exclusive thing that nobody else can have, so when you roll up on it, you look like a champ. | ||
| And no one else does. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even if it sucks. | ||
| Even if it's a sucky car. | ||
| You know why I like it, though? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because some, let's say some billionaire, rich billionaire, where his daddy gave him all his money, he can't roll in the front and be like, I'll take that. | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| Now, it's a little extreme with the 10 and you gotta own all the V12s. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| But, what do you mean? | ||
| They can suck it. | ||
| You don't like it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| Is it because you can't? | ||
| Well, you probably, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| You get it used, though. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| You just buy it used, though. | ||
| Alright, cool, dude. | ||
| That fuck's gonna buy it unless you get it from him. | ||
| You're not gonna stop it. | ||
| It's like illegal streaming. | ||
| You guys are just dumb business people. | ||
| How about you make more cars, stupid? | ||
| Well, no, you don't want to become a Tesla or Prius. | ||
| How much can they sell? | ||
| How many are they leaving on the table? | ||
| Think about it that way. | ||
| I don't think they care, right? | ||
| How many people are buying Ferraris? | ||
| Let's just take a guess. | ||
| Let's just say worldwide 100,000 people are buying Ferraris. | ||
| Maybe it would be 200,000. | ||
| Maybe if they just stopped being twats, there'd be 200,000 Ferraris out there instead of 100,000. | ||
| I don't think they want that, though. | ||
| If everyone can have it, you don't want it, right? | ||
| That's just weird, man. | ||
| Girls are that way with purses. | ||
| You ever talk to girls about certain purses? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| They get weird about purses. | ||
| It's so hard to get that purse. | ||
| I'm like that with shoes, though. | ||
| I want the exclusive shoes. | ||
| But you're kind of like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With what? | |
| You're knocking it, but you're kind of like that. | ||
| What am I like about? | ||
| Well, with your custom cars, one of the reasons that make it really cool is you're not going to see that custom car anywhere else. | ||
| That is specifically designed by you. | ||
| That's true, but that's not why I like it. | ||
| What I like it is because you can get something that you can't get anywhere else. | ||
| That's what I'm saying! | ||
| As far as performance. | ||
| Like when I get a Shark Works car, like the white car, that car, you can't just get that car. | ||
| It's a six-speed manual. | ||
| They don't make six-speed manual GT3 RSs anymore. | ||
| It has a 518 horsepower engine. | ||
| You can't get that. | ||
| They board it out. | ||
| They put fatter tires in it. | ||
| They beefed up the suspension. | ||
| They changed everything. | ||
| For sure, but like your Bronco. | ||
| Exhaust, right? | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| It's pretty custom. | ||
| Can't buy those. | ||
| Can't buy them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But, honestly... | ||
| Custom for Joe. | ||
| That car is like... | ||
| That's a cool-looking car. | ||
| Hell yeah, it is. | ||
| But if you had to drive that every day, you'd probably blow your fucking brains out. | ||
| Unless you're one of those renegade dudes. | ||
| Like Lorenzo Lamas back in the day. | ||
| Wore cowboy boots, dusting his hair. | ||
| I feel like Tate Fletcher would drive that every day. | ||
| At the end of 2017, the total of Ferrari built and sold cars in the whole company history is $199,000. | ||
| So $200,000. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| You said $200,000 a year, but you were close. | ||
| Wow, I was way off. | ||
| That would be like $8,000 to $10,000 a year, it looks like. | ||
|
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|
See, that's dope! | |
| That's why it's so hard to get one. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's kind of cool. | ||
| Yeah, look, it is definitely cool. | ||
| It's a cool car. | ||
| I mean, there's a reason why people want them. | ||
| They don't want shitty cars. | ||
| No, they're a good car. | ||
| I wouldn't mind... | ||
| I think it's a 4... | ||
| I don't know if it's a 4.8, but they did make that in manual when it's so expensive. | ||
| What I like about, like, custom cars is that they're mechanical. | ||
| Like, when I talk about, like, muscle cars or Porsches or stuff like that, what I like is that they're mechanical. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, they're all stick shifts, manual transmissions. | ||
| You feel the gears and you feel the... | ||
| I like that. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm into that for whatever reason. | ||
| But I'm also into that fucking Tesla. | ||
| That Tesla's got me hooked. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| That thing puts a smile on my face. | ||
| Does it really? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| More so than when you're Porsches? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Not more so. | ||
| Oh man, it's gonna walk out. | ||
| Different smile. | ||
| Different smile. | ||
| Yeah, it's like, wow, the future's weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because it's just, it's so much more capable. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| It's not ferocious. | ||
| Ferrari's ferocious. | ||
| That noise, the engine, the explosions behind your ear, mid-engine car, that's a different thing. | ||
| A muscle car, that rumble, the fucking big-ass V8, and the fat tailpipes, that's a different feel. | ||
| Completely different. | ||
| Yeah, what you get from a Tesla is like, whoa. | ||
| Every other car just seems stupid. | ||
| It's like you're just making a lot of noise, but this thing just goes quicker. | ||
| It goes places. | ||
| What the Tesla does, it violates what you think the laws of driving are in terms of how quick a car can get from there to there. | ||
| And it does it with no sound. | ||
| So it's just strange. | ||
| There's no torque or anything, right? | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| It's like a thousand foot-pounds of torque. | ||
| But isn't it just like a video game? | ||
| It throws you back like the craziest roller coaster you've ever been in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It goes zero to 60 in 2.4 seconds. | ||
| You have the ludicrous one? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I always leave it on ludicrous. | ||
| I never switched off that shit. | ||
| Like, why would I? I don't drive it. | ||
| You don't have to drive it like an asshole, but when you want to, it's right there. | ||
| Is it using up more of the electricity? | ||
| Oh yeah, it eats that battery. | ||
| It eats that battery, kid. | ||
| If you want to drive... | ||
| What do they say it gets 317 miles? | ||
|
unidentified
|
My ass. | |
| Like grandma drives. | ||
| Yeah, like daddy drives, it gets like 170. Like daddy drives. | ||
| It might get 170 the way I drive. | ||
| They were saying that... | ||
| People applying for a driver license, especially kids. | ||
| Like our kids? | ||
| I don't know if they're even going to be into cars. | ||
| I was talking to my dad. | ||
| I went, how cool is it? | ||
| He's been in all these cool cars. | ||
| Hopefully he's into cars when he gets older. | ||
| And my dad's like, yeah, maybe. | ||
| If he even wants a driver license. | ||
| Because now it's so low of kids passing a driver license test. | ||
| Because they just Uber everywhere. | ||
| They're like, what? | ||
| Why do I pay for a car? | ||
| I'm just getting Uber, man. | ||
| That is a great thing that you don't have to think about. | ||
| That does help a lot. | ||
| You don't think about drunk, being drunk, driving drunk, going to someone's house after the bar. | ||
| It's cool it's an option, but it's not cool that kids... | ||
| There's some freedom about driving. | ||
| There's a good feeling if you're into it. | ||
| There's also the problem with things like Uber is you're going to get into a car with a person that you don't know. | ||
| And I'm sure most of them are great. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| But every now and then, you're going to get into a car with someone who's fucking nuts, and they're going to have some crazy political podcast on, want to talk to you about Hillary Clinton's emails. | ||
| There's an option now, you know that? | ||
| You can click, they don't talk to you. | ||
| Do you want them to talk? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's a new option they're doing. | ||
|
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|
They don't have to abide by it, I don't think. | |
| It's like a preference for the rider. | ||
| Like, hey, by the way, as I get in your car, I really would prefer you don't talk to me. | ||
|
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|
But the driver is like, you're in my car, fuck you. | |
| Yeah, but most drivers, you're like, oh, he clicked don't talk? | ||
| If he's like, hey, did you see the don't talk? | ||
| The move is, hey, you got music up there, can you turn it up? | ||
| Then they usually don't talk. | ||
| But there has been a thing, to your point, where... | ||
| There's been people faking the Uber drivers, putting the sign on, and murdering women. | ||
| There's that. | ||
| Yeah, there has been that. | ||
| I heard about that recently. | ||
| Dude, I've been in this, and I've been having terrible dreams. | ||
| I need to get off of it or just figure out how to deal, manage it better. | ||
| But I was doing a show on Sirius with Jim Norton, and he brought in this, the guy who basically created Mindhunter. | ||
| He was this, like, he's interviewed all the serial killers and speaks to him. | ||
| And they brought him in. | ||
| I think his name's John Douglas. | ||
| They brought him in. | ||
| He's just talking. | ||
| It was fascinating. | ||
| I was like, oh, shit. | ||
| So I got his book. | ||
| Almost finished his book. | ||
| I'm like, this is great, man. | ||
| And then started listening to a podcast he's on. | ||
| It's just about murder and death. | ||
| And I started looking up all this Charles Manson stuff. | ||
| And I've been having awful nightmares. | ||
| And been a little depressed. | ||
| And you know me, it's very rare I'm down. | ||
| It's just a dark fucking world, man. | ||
| Yeah, you watch those true crime shows, it'll fuck your head up. | ||
| Dude, it makes you scared of everything. | ||
| But it's also going on. | ||
| It's going on in very small numbers. | ||
| Very, very small numbers. | ||
| But it is going on. | ||
| What it is, is people that have been abused, people that have been fucked up, psychopaths, and people that have been through the correction system, through the penal system. | ||
| Yeah, that's a lot of it. | ||
| It's so dark, man. | ||
| There's not that many of them. | ||
| And this guy has three daughters. | ||
| I was like, how can you... | ||
| He was talking about this seven-year-old terrible story. | ||
| And I was like, how can you go home, man, and sleep? | ||
| He's like... | ||
| Eventually, you know, it's just a job. | ||
| Like, it does affect me a little bit. | ||
| I'm like, do you just lock up your kids? | ||
| Like, just from hearing you, I don't want my son going to school. | ||
| I don't want him leaving. | ||
| He's like, nah, he learned to manage it. | ||
| And he did say that. | ||
| He's like, this is the exception. | ||
| Like, there's some dark stuff out there. | ||
| But these gentlemen, he interviewed Charles Manson. | ||
| He was saying how he's 5'2", and he always has to speak over you, no matter what's going on. | ||
| So they're in this room. | ||
| There's three people. | ||
| And Charles Manson, he got on a chair and stood over and shouted down to him. | ||
| What was he saying? | ||
| I'm probably trying to convert him into a fucking cult. | ||
| You made me, man! | ||
| You people who made me eat your garbage, man! | ||
| Hey, man! | ||
| Man! | ||
| I'm a product of your society, man. | ||
| He's fucking crazy. | ||
| He was crazy. | ||
| He has a quote that I was reading. | ||
| Again, I'm too into it, man. | ||
| I'm quoting Charles Manson, what's going on with my life. | ||
| He was saying that it used to be like, you were the exception when you're crazy. | ||
| Now everybody's crazy. | ||
| That's what Manson was saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's like, it used to be kind of cool, the end thing to be crazy. | ||
| Now, in society, everybody's crazy. | ||
| Well, he made it popular. | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| Do you know how popular that fucking crazy serial killer is and all his followers? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Even to this day, like I was reading this article in Rolling Stones, how many books and even merch and to buy locks of his hair is 50 grand. | ||
| It's going for 50 grand to buy locks of his hair. | ||
| And how he sells merch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's insane. | |
| 50 grand for locks of his hair? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much is a lock? | ||
| What does that get you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I lost out on the bid. | ||
| Cut a lock in half? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Joe, let's split it. | ||
| Put it in here, bro. | ||
| Who's to say how many hairs is in a lock? | ||
| It could be a big piece, though. | ||
| What if he shaves his balls and you give a saran wrap baggie of his pubes? | ||
| How much does that work? | ||
| 100 G's? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| 100 G's, dude. | ||
| Charles Manson dick piece? | ||
| He was married when he died. | ||
| The crazy bitches find serial killers in jail and marry them. | ||
| Happened with Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker. | ||
| There's some sexual thing to it, right? | ||
| Yeah, some women want to be around killers. | ||
| And even in particular, guys have killed women. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| It's very crazy. | ||
| Can you imagine when your daughters, when they're, let's say, 22... | ||
| Marries a serial killer? | ||
| In prison? | ||
| At least you know she's not going to die, but it's safe. | ||
| Look, there's people out there, I don't have to tell you, that do a fucking terrible job of raising their kids. | ||
| You know, it's one of the reasons why people like you, people like me, people that get into being a parent, that really enjoy it, When you see something like that, it's even more disturbing because you know that when you see a serial killer or someone who's fucked up, that person was a baby that had a terrible life. | ||
| Almost always. | ||
| They just got a shitty roll of the dice. | ||
| They got bad parents. | ||
| It's usually the moms. | ||
| It's the relationship with the moms that fuck them up. | ||
| Not so much the fathers. | ||
| Usually it's the mother-son relationship. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Usually always mother-son and that's what usually causes the horrible- That's why Norman Bates from Psycho was so dead on, right? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He's dealing with his mom. | ||
| He's the one who literally, he's Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson. | ||
| When there's something, like he was talking about JonBenet, which, you know, I'm from Denver, went to Squim, Boulder. | ||
| That was the JonBenet Ramsey murder case was such a big deal. | ||
| They still can't sell that house. | ||
| They can't sell it. | ||
| I had a buddy, my strength coach, Doc Crease, rented it. | ||
| He was like, ah, fuck a ghost, and moved in there. | ||
| Like, right after the murders. | ||
| Anyway, so... | ||
| How did he handle it? | ||
| Did he freak out? | ||
| No, he's cool. | ||
| He's from Louisiana, like, real tough dude. | ||
| Didn't give a fuck. | ||
| He says he didn't give a fuck. | ||
| They're missing a chromosome down there. | ||
| Yeah, you'd be pretty crazy to move in there. | ||
| It was a great deal, and it was a great spot. | ||
| Yeah, it was for sale for years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For years. | |
| They might have knocked it down. | ||
| They should. | ||
| I drove to the O.J. Simpson. | ||
| They should knock it down. | ||
| They should take out all the dirt and replace it with new dirt. | ||
| Yeah, they should just knock down everything. | ||
| Just knock it down and dig a hole all the way to hell. | ||
| Whatever the fuck dirt was there. | ||
| It's so dirty, man. | ||
| But that dude, he was just talking, talking. | ||
| And it was fascinating. | ||
| I didn't say a word. | ||
| And then we went to JonBenet. | ||
| I'm like, ooh, I'm going to chime in here because I know this case and I know it well. | ||
| And Jim asked him a question. | ||
| It was like, my time to jump in? | ||
| I go, yeah, but... | ||
| Yeah, but it's probably the parents, right? | ||
| Or maybe the son? | ||
| And he hasn't acknowledged me this entire interview. | ||
| I don't know if Jim noted this. | ||
| And he goes, what'd you say? | ||
| And I could tell I fucked up. | ||
| I go, it's probably the parents or the son, right? | ||
| And he goes, absolutely not. | ||
| Absolutely not, Brendan. | ||
| And then goes on how ridiculously of an assumption that is. | ||
| And I go, well, who does he think did it? | ||
| Uh, he was, it's not them. | ||
| And he goes, the problem is the narrative that got painted outside of that when the media was going crazy and even the Boulder police, he goes, they were so far off and he listed like 10 reasons why it wasn't them. | ||
| And I kind of felt like an idiot. | ||
| I went, very cool. | ||
| I'll buy the book. | ||
| I'm going to shut the fuck up now. | ||
| The only problem was that a handwriting expert had connected the mother's handwriting to the ransom note. | ||
| Dude, get him on this podcast. | ||
| It'd be fucking fascinating. | ||
| He's doing promotion right now. | ||
| I mean, I have no idea who killed JonBenet Ramsey. | ||
| Johnny Douglas. | ||
| This guy does. | ||
| But I do remember. | ||
| I don't think he knows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no. | |
| He knows it. | ||
| He can tell you from his 70 years of experience dealing with murders, it's not the parents. | ||
| But he had evidence why it wasn't. | ||
| Because I said the same things, right? | ||
| I'm balls deep in JonBenet. | ||
| I grew up around it. | ||
| It was such a culture phenomenon. | ||
| Did he say who he thinks it is? | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| But it's not the parents. | ||
| Someone who's alive? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You gotta have him on. | ||
| I'm telling you, I've listened to a shitload of shows, and I was so into this, man. | ||
| I didn't even promote my special. | ||
| I was there to promote my special. | ||
| I didn't say a word. | ||
| I made one stupid comment about JonBenet's family, and then he was like, shut the fuck up. | ||
| Those fucking shows are very compelling, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why do you think that is? | |
| You watch those true crime shows? | ||
| Why am I drawn to... | ||
| Am I fucked up? | ||
| Why am I drawn to this serial killer shit? | ||
| Well, if you are fucked up, you're just like everybody else. | ||
| Why do I buy Carl Manson's pubes on eBay? | ||
| How much do you pay? | ||
| 70 G's, man. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| 70 G's, but his pubes, they plucked them out so it has some DNA in them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| You could recreate Charles Manson. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Charles Manson's hair. | ||
| $2,400. | ||
| That's a steal! | ||
| This is for a bag of hair off the head of Charles Manson. | ||
| It was obtained July 2016 from an associate of Charles Manson. | ||
| Oh no, that's weak, dude. | ||
| A COA. A certificate of authenticity will be included upon purchase. | ||
| By the way, there are no certificates of authenticity when it comes to Charles Manson's hair. | ||
| It's not like there's an accrediting body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's DNA. We go over every aspect of this purchase. | |
| That shit's weak, though, man. | ||
| You want that 1970s hair strain. | ||
| You don't want the updated shit. | ||
| You want to be there when he cuts it off, really. | ||
| Yeah, you want to film him cutting it off, and then you want to vacuum seal it, and sign it, and film the whole thing. | ||
| You put it in one of them fucking vacuum bags, and then seal it. | ||
| Yeah, that way, no one's touched it, chopped right off his hair. | ||
| You got video footage of it. | ||
| You got video footage of him autographing the bag. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with us? | ||
| Why are we talking about this? | ||
| It's fascinating to me. | ||
| Did you watch the Game of Thrones finale? | ||
| Did you get bummed out? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Just like somebody else wrote it. | ||
| I think they did. | ||
| Yeah, it's very strange. | ||
| I thought they did. | ||
| I loved, I did like season eight and I was good as the other seasons. | ||
| Hey, let's fucking get everybody know right now. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Hold up. | ||
| What is today? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thursday? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| But some people have jobs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is it Sunday? | |
| Some people have jobs, Brendan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sunday? | |
| Some people work all day. | ||
| Four days? | ||
| Some people work all day. | ||
| I heard the New York Times put it on the front page of the paper on Monday. | ||
| Yeah, we're clear, bro. | ||
| It's a serious finale. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think you're allowed to. | |
| Yeah, but they did that because they can do that. | ||
| Not because they should do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah, whatever. | |
| The next day's a little fun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I think movies, you got a week. | |
| Movies, you got a week. | ||
| TV show, Two days. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Especially for that... | ||
| What, are we not supposed to talk about it because you're busy? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you like it? | ||
| That's exactly what it is. | ||
| No. | ||
| I didn't... | ||
| I left unsatisfied. | ||
| I left unsatisfied. | ||
| When they made, spoiler alert, Homeboy the King, I was like, what in the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| He didn't want it. | ||
| The whole fucking season. | ||
| All of a sudden, everybody's fighting to the death over who's the king. | ||
| They're ready to stab their brother, kill their mom. | ||
| They'll kill anybody. | ||
| They'll betray lovers. | ||
| But now, this guy's like, alright, I'll take it. | ||
| Everyone's like, you should be the king. | ||
| They're like, okay. | ||
| They all agree. | ||
| And how about that one guy that just stood up and is like, maybe I could be the king. | ||
| They're like, sit down. | ||
| She said, sit down, bitch. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is this? | |
| The Sopranos? | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| It was strange. | ||
| Who is this guy? | ||
| Who is that guy? | ||
| Bobby Lee had the greatest, I thought it was such a good ending. | ||
| So he says when everyone goes, you know, when they're deciding to be the king and then homeboy who's crippled is like, I'll do it. | ||
| And then when they're wheeling him away, he just looks over and he has the fucking White Walker eye. | ||
| Ooh, that would work. | ||
| And then it closes. | ||
| You know what should happen? | ||
| That's Bobby Lee's idea. | ||
| Jon Snow should have fought to the death with that dude who has an old dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| I want to see that shit, dude. | ||
| They should have fought to the death. | ||
| They hated each other. | ||
| Yeah, they hated each other. | ||
| And how about that dude who was just like, cool, we'll let you go. | ||
| He was just like, yeah, you killed my girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See ya. | |
| No big deal. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| You get on the boat. | ||
| What the fuck is that, dude? | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| They should have fought to the death. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| Did you like episode three? | ||
| I'll tell you what I like. | ||
| I like when the Hound knocked the mountain off into the fire. | ||
| That was dope. | ||
| That was poetic justice. | ||
| And he died by fire? | ||
| That was a dope scene. | ||
| That shit was dope! | ||
| The best scene in the whole fucking series, though, was when... | ||
| No, the best scene in the whole fucking series when she was telling that dude that he betrayed her, and then from the darkness, the dragon's face appears. | ||
| And you're like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| This is where I was a powerful scene. | ||
| Those dragons are so fucking cool. | ||
| They're so scary. | ||
| I'm so happy there's people out there that do special effects like that. | ||
| That shit was dope. | ||
| Because it used to be kind of like semi-corny. | ||
| Super corny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You remember what was that movie? | ||
| There was a good dragon movie with Matthew McConaughey. | ||
| Back when Matthew McConaughey was jacked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck. | |
| Someone just brought this up on the show. | ||
| And Homeboy from Australia was in it, too. | ||
| Batman. | ||
| Fuck's his name. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Christian Bale. | ||
| Christian Bale. | ||
| Christian Bale was in it, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rain of Fire. | |
| What is it called? | ||
| Rain of Fire? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rain of Fire. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| The dragons in there were corny compared to the Game of Thrones dragons. | ||
| It has to be believable, dude. | ||
| Let me see a video. | ||
| That poster looks sick. | ||
| Obviously we can't show it on the podcast or we'll get arrested and castrate us. | ||
| Joe Carnahan was just talking about this. | ||
| Bro, this fucking movie was not a bad movie. | ||
| It was a little corny. | ||
| But for a dummy like me who really likes dragons, it was great stuff. | ||
| It was an interesting movie. | ||
| But the dragons, it's just crazy how much... | ||
| Because I want to say this was probably 2004. Am I correct? | ||
| Before that. | ||
| 2002? | ||
| I was pretty close. | ||
| Yeah, pretty close, dude. | ||
| You've been on today. | ||
| But the difference between what the dragons looked like 17 years later in terms of special effects. | ||
| Oh, dude, even dinosaurs from Dress Park 1 to Dress Park World? | ||
| Yeah, look at them. | ||
| They're not showing you much. | ||
| That's the dragon's vision, though. | ||
| It's kind of gay. | ||
| Why is the dragon's vision homosexual? | ||
| See, when I said that, I'm like, why did I say that? | ||
| Because you're a man, and we've been doing this our whole lives, and we have to relearn it. | ||
| I know. | ||
| We've got to reprogram our brains, dude. | ||
| How about with Charlamagne? | ||
| I said, bitch. | ||
| I went, oh, that bitch is hot. | ||
| And he goes, in 2019, you're still calling women bitches, huh? | ||
| I went... | ||
| No. | ||
| But you were. | ||
| But yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But when he said that, I went, you got a good point. | ||
| Sometimes I do it on accident, like when we're watching Fight, when we do a Fight Companion, I go, damn, that bitch is tough. | ||
| Yeah, but you don't, it's all, here's the thing, man. | ||
| Context. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Don't make more words toxic. | ||
| It's all about intent. | ||
| What are you trying to say? | ||
| If a girl is a beast, and she's just a badass woman, and she walks out, and she's got... | ||
| I'm good, I'm good. | ||
| And she's got this crazy tight skirt on, this banging body that she's worked hard at in the gym, and she's got a beautiful dress, and she looks great. | ||
| You're like, damn, that bitch is hot. | ||
| That is not negative. | ||
| It's not negative. | ||
| Is it derogatory, though? | ||
| But does it... | ||
| No, but it's not negative if you go, you fucking silly bitch to me, I'll laugh. | ||
| I'll fall down on the floor, I'll start laughing. | ||
| Like, you can call me a bitch and I think it's funny. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| But if you're like, hey man, you know, you fucking made fun of me on the podcast, bro. | ||
| That was a bitch move. | ||
| I'd be like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
|
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|
But it's different. | |
| Same thing as like, if a car drives by, I'd be like, damn, that motherfucker's bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But if the guy rolled down as well, I was like, hey, motherfucker. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| It's like, all right, difference. | ||
| Different. | ||
| Yeah, it's intense. | ||
| The problem is when you have a word you can't say. | ||
| The word has too much goddamn power. | ||
| It's not that you should say the word. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| There's certain words you probably shouldn't say because we've all agreed that those words have a negative impact on people. | ||
| The F word probably, right? | ||
| F-A-G. That's probably one we stay away from. | ||
| We've all agreed. | ||
| Yeah, we've all agreed it has a negative impact on people. | ||
| But the real problem is intent. | ||
| The real problem is homophobic behavior in that, or homophobic thinking, homophobic ideology, thought processes, thinking that gay people are bad, thinking there's anything wrong with being gay. | ||
| That's the real problem. | ||
| If there was no problem with that at all, I mean, I just feel like... | ||
| I feel like it's not the right move to make words the problem. | ||
| The problem is the way people think and behave, and I think ultimately there's a real problem with language itself, because I think language is too limited. | ||
| I think when you have magic words that you can't say, and they have all this extra power connected to them... | ||
| To give some power, yes. | ||
| But Lenny Bruce talked about that in the 60s. | ||
| He had a great bit about that, about saying all these words, because you can take away the meaning of them, and it won't hurt anybody's feelings anymore. | ||
| But don't you think... | ||
| Let's say you are a homosexual and gay, that's what we refer to you as. | ||
| Gay is such a negative connotation. | ||
| Because growing up, gay meant not good. | ||
| So I'd be like, God, you look gay, dude. | ||
| Or, oh, that car's gay. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| It's so ingrained in my vernacular, though. | ||
| And the problem is it's such a good sound for that thought. | ||
| It's a fun word. | ||
| The same thing is like calling someone a faggot. | ||
| You faggot. | ||
| Like that word. | ||
| Like when you say it like that. | ||
| Even if it's your friend. | ||
| Like your best friend. | ||
| It's got that sound. | ||
| Why does it make us laugh? | ||
| Because it sounds good. | ||
| It's got a pop to it. | ||
| There's power with that. | ||
| It starts with a fuck you. | ||
| It starts with an F. It's so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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|
Crack. | |
| Bang! | ||
| And it has zero to do with being gay. | ||
| But you can't say it anymore. | ||
| Because it hurts gay people's feelings. | ||
| Like when Mike Tyson goes, I'm going to fuck you until you love me, faggot. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| You're going to fuck that guy and call him a faggot. | ||
| But you're trying to fuck him. | ||
| Who was the fucking reporter he was yelling at? | ||
| He was a sheriff. | ||
| Terrified. | ||
| Who is that reporter? | ||
| Because that guy, did he vanish off the face of the earth after that? | ||
| I would like to know who that guy was. | ||
| I was ringside when Deontay Wilder knocked out Brazil. | ||
| I was in Brooklyn for that with my brother. | ||
| Bro. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Bro. | ||
|
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|
Dude. | |
| That guy. | ||
| I've been in fights. | ||
| I've been knocked out. | ||
| I've been at UFC fights where dudes get knocked out. | ||
| I have never in my life heard someone get knocked out like that. | ||
| My brother goes, oh my god. | ||
| And my brother's a raw dude. | ||
| He goes, oh my god. | ||
| And they sat us next to his family. | ||
| And it ruined it for me. | ||
| You can't cheer? | ||
| I saw the wife. | ||
| I just went, oh my god. | ||
| I wouldn't cheer anyway. | ||
| But I was just like, oh my god. | ||
| And this is the funniest part is, my boy, shout out to Brian Daly at Showtime, goes, so in between rounds, probably two and three, Jim Gray's going to come and interview you about your Showtime special. | ||
| I go, Oh, that'd be cool. | ||
| They tell me the day before, so I get this nice outfit. | ||
| My brother's looking all fresh. | ||
| Did you really think it was going to get to round two or three? | ||
| I thought it was going to go under four. | ||
| I didn't think one round, but I thought there was a chance. | ||
| They sent me there, and they're like, Jim Gray's going to come, and then, all right, we should probably get out of here, huh? | ||
| We should probably get out of here. | ||
| Deontay. | ||
| Dude, I'm telling you, man. | ||
| He's something special. | ||
| He's so special, man. | ||
| He's such a good dude. | ||
| You've had Fury on here. | ||
| I had him on, too. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
|
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|
He's great. | |
| We had a great time. | ||
| How passionate is he? | ||
| He's a sweetheart. | ||
| He's a really nice guy, too. | ||
| That was my problem with him going, oh, I want to murder this guy. | ||
| I want to kill this guy. | ||
| And I want to exercise my right. | ||
| I'm like, ah. | ||
| I expect that from these... | ||
| For lack of a better term, these animals, these guys who aren't at your level, but he's such a good person. | ||
| I'm like, ah, dude, don't do that. | ||
| Because they can paint you into that box. | ||
| I believe that's going to just go away. | ||
| Oh, it did. | ||
| It's gone now. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| His performance is so spectacular. | ||
| I think it goes away. | ||
| But I think it's also, that was his legitimate mindset at that time. | ||
| You know, I mean, that guy, if you listen to my podcast when I interviewed him and talked about how he got into boxing because of his daughter... | ||
| Do you do it on yours as well? | ||
| Talk about that? | ||
| That's a special person, man. | ||
| I mean, he became a bronze medalist in the Olympics after a year and a half of boxing. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's how special he is. | ||
| That's insane, man. | ||
| You've got to imagine, if he was in a year and a half of boxing and he's entering into the Olympics, he's going to be having matches against guys who have 10 years experience. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| Hundreds of fights more than him. | ||
| Hundreds of fights. | ||
| Amateur fights. | ||
| Yeah, and he's got, like, virtually no experience, and he's not, like, the slickest guy in the world either, so he has to be able to take a shot, but he's got two giant advantages. | ||
| Huge reach, and ridiculous power. | ||
| And... | ||
| Athleticism. | ||
| Yeah, and I think because of the fact that he's not a big heavyweight, I don't think he gets as tired as they do. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| But he came in this last fight, the heaviest he's ever been, he came in at 223 and went, that's interesting, because he's usually 214, 213. Dude, look at this. | ||
| That motherfucker, he punches so hard, man. | ||
| He's the scariest heavyweight knockout artist since Mike Tyson. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| When he was walking out, I looked at my brother, I went, you know how you feel right now? | ||
| You get goosebumps? | ||
| I went, imagine being on Mike Tyson fighting in his prime. | ||
| How that fucking crowd must have felt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because when he was walking out, I felt so bad for Brazil. | ||
| Because we're next to his family. | ||
| I'm like, he's such an underdog. | ||
| He's going to get knocked out. | ||
| It was just a weird feeling. | ||
| I think we're going to see that with Deontay Wilder. | ||
| I think Deontay Wilder is the new Mike Tyson. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I think he's the new Mike Tyson. | ||
| He hits that hard. | ||
| And what's interesting about him is everyone gives me shit. | ||
| They're like, you're such a homer because you work for Showtime. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Here's the thing about that, Joe. | ||
| What people don't realize is Deontay, while his fights are on Showtime, he's an independent contractor. | ||
| He doesn't have a promoter. | ||
| He's his team. | ||
| So DAZN offered him hundreds of millions of dollars, same as they offered Joshua and Canelo. | ||
| He turned it down. | ||
|
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|
Damn. | |
| You know why? | ||
| Because he wants to fight Joshua. | ||
| He wants to fight Fury. | ||
| He goes, well, if I'm with them, that's going to limit me fighting Fury or Joshua. | ||
| If I'm independent, I can fight Joshua. | ||
| I can fight Wilder. | ||
| If I was Joshua or Wilder, I'd be terrified right now. | ||
| Why do you think they... | ||
| I mean, not Wilder, rather, Fury. | ||
| Joshua or Fury. | ||
| I'd be terrified of that mindset. | ||
| It's definitely easier fights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| He's the scariest fighter of all time. | ||
| In the fucking 12th round, when he cracks Tyson Fury and drops him like that, in the 12th round, he still has this ridiculous power. | ||
| And he's only getting better, but I think what happens is it's more likely, especially looking at the way promoters work, you're going to get Joshua versus Wilder before you get Fury. | ||
| Oh, I think so. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I'll take any of them. | ||
| Yeah, I'm fine. | ||
| But I want all three of them. | ||
| I do. | ||
| These fucks owe it. | ||
| These fucks. | ||
| It's context, remember? | ||
| These fucks owe it to boxing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| To the legacy of boxing to fight each other. | ||
| Well, it's one of those rare moments in the heavyweight division where you have three unbelievably compelling guys. | ||
| And then one of them was a former champion who, by the way, the last fight was a draw and I thought he should have won a decision. | ||
| So if you look at it, I thought he should have won a decision, but I agree with the result. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Well, it's real squirrely. | ||
| Preach. | ||
| Because the way Wilder hurt him, dropped him, and then knocked him down and almost had him flatlined in the 12th, and if you go over the actual count, the actual 10 count from 1 to 10 from the time he dropped, which is not what Tyson Fury's job is. | ||
| Tyson Fury's job is to get up and the referee says 9, and he did that. | ||
| He did that. | ||
| But if you go by an actual clock. | ||
| 11 or 12, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah, you go by an actual clock. | ||
| It's about 11 or 12 seconds. | ||
| Yeah, Tyson Fury lost that 10 count. | ||
| But Fury won the rounds. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Fury won more rounds. | ||
| Hands down, he outboxed him. | ||
| But you're right. | ||
| That count was longer than 10. Yeah, he should have. | ||
| If you were just going by 10 seconds, Deontay Wilder has a real argument that he should have won by knockout. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| That's why I like the draw. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's why the draw's fantastic. | ||
|
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|
Perfect. | |
| Cool. | ||
| Run it back. | ||
| Let's get a clear winner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Joshua, who's this animal out there, who's just this fucking, he's so damn good. | ||
| He's just like, all right, let's do this. | ||
| Honestly, though, what the fuck is a 10 count for if it's not 10 seconds? | ||
| Why does the referee get to make the count? | ||
| Human error. | ||
| There should be in every fucking corner, every corner, wherever the fight is, there should be a clock. | ||
| And then when someone goes down, someone else, not the referee, hits that button. | ||
| This guy has 10 seconds. | ||
| What? | ||
|
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|
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, two, three, four, five. | |
| But he goes, one. | ||
| Not only that, he's jacked up with adrenaline. | ||
| There's a huge knock out the crowd. | ||
| He might want a guy to get up. | ||
| He might want a guy to get up. | ||
| He might want to help him. | ||
| He might take extra time to rub the gloves on his chest. | ||
| Ask him a couple questions. | ||
| Are you okay? | ||
| Walk towards me. | ||
| Walk towards me. | ||
| What's today's date? | ||
| You can do all that shit. | ||
| You can give him a little bit of a break. | ||
| Do you like the human error part? | ||
| Same with baseball. | ||
| The umps, they fuck up all the time. | ||
| Dude, the greatest of the greats, like Herb Dean and John McCarthy, have made mistakes. | ||
| It is impossible to not. | ||
| Herb Dean is the goddamn gold standard. | ||
| He's the best of the best of people working today. | ||
| And he will occasionally say that he made an error. | ||
| John Doddard. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Fucks up. | ||
| People make mistakes. | ||
| They're human beings. | ||
| Isn't it fun, though? | ||
| Bro, their job is so... | ||
| I fuck up all the time when I do commentary, and their job is so much harder than mine. | ||
| So much harder. | ||
| All I'm doing is talking while the fight's going on. | ||
| They're deciding if the fight ends. | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| You're the voice to the fucking masses, bro. | ||
| It's not that hard to do. | ||
| Go watch another organization. | ||
| Go watch another... | ||
| Or when you're not working... | ||
| But I'm not being humble. | ||
| I'm not being humble. | ||
| I'm just telling you. | ||
| I'm doing that for you, brother. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's a tough fucking gig. | ||
| Go watch another fight. | ||
| Go watch DAZN when Canelo fought. | ||
| It was so bad, it was comical. | ||
| Who was doing the commentary? | ||
| Not sure. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| Not good. | ||
| It was so bad it ruined the fight. | ||
| Nah, kind of. | ||
| It was so bad it was entertaining. | ||
| They were so pro Canelo and it wasn't professionally done. | ||
| You know who I like that is in a world of shit right now? | ||
| You talking MMA or boxing? | ||
| Boxing. | ||
| Who? | ||
| Paulie Malignaggi. | ||
| Oh, he's the best. | ||
| Why is he spitting on people? | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| He's a great commentator, man. | ||
| To me, he's the best. | ||
| I think my number one favorite... | ||
| Here's my three top that I get excited when they're doing it. | ||
| Roy Jones Jr., Andre Ward, and Paulie Malignaggi. | ||
| I think Andre and Paulie, they're both... | ||
| You can switch out to people you like. | ||
| The reason why I like Roy... | ||
| I don't like Roy. | ||
| Too biased. | ||
| Yeah, that's okay, though. | ||
| This is why. | ||
| When he was at his best, he was the motherfucker of all motherfuckers. | ||
| He was like Floyd Mayweather, but he was knocking people dead. | ||
| He was putting his hands behind his back and knocking people out. | ||
| He was doing shit that no one could do. | ||
| He was fucking people up. | ||
| Roy Jones Jr. went on a streak for a long time where he was... | ||
| He had this freak athleticism and this... | ||
| He didn't even throw jabs half the time. | ||
| Don't you think it's underappreciated? | ||
| Oh my god, so... | ||
| Because the end of his career... | ||
| Well, you know, when Glenn Johnson KO'd him, when Magic Man KO'd him... | ||
| Yeah, but that was... | ||
| But he had this run of greatness that we should appreciate. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, when I think of Anderson Silva, I don't think of him bitching out because his knee got kicked against Cononeer. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I think of Anderson Silva fucking front-kicking Vitor Belfort. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Front-kicking fucking, you know, all these guys. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I think of that. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| So it's weird with Roy... | ||
| I think because he just got knocked down in Russia like six days ago or whatever. | ||
|
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|
Did he really? | |
| No, but he recently got knocked down in Russia. | ||
| I thought he won his last fight. | ||
| I think he won his last fight. | ||
|
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|
I don't know. | |
| It's not good though, hopefully. | ||
| See, Pauly's amazing though. | ||
| But Pauly, when he was going to fight that bare knuckle, I went on a little bit of rant. | ||
| Me and Pauly are close, man. | ||
| I went on a rant saying, I don't think he should do it. | ||
| I feel like he's punching down. | ||
| He's one of the best commentators. | ||
| He has a job so many people want. | ||
| Then, of course, me and Pauly work together, so we're breaking down the Wilder-Brazil fight in New York, and there was this weird... | ||
| Pauly's going to hear this. | ||
| I felt like there was this weird kind of... | ||
| Well, of course. | ||
| I mean, you're telling him not to do something that he's definitely going to do. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| So you're resisting his idea. | ||
| But if I was doing something you didn't want me to do, if you're doing something and we have an open conversation, there's no weirdness. | ||
| Like, why can't we talk about it? | ||
| If Pauly went up to me and was like, dude, I'm doing it because I'm going to knock this fuck out, dude, and hopefully I get McGregor out. | ||
| And also, I'm just kind of bored with my life, man. | ||
| This could be fun for me. | ||
| I went, oh, cool, man. | ||
| I support you. | ||
| I'm not shaming him. | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| I feel where you're coming from and I agree that I would want you to tell me if you thought I was fucking up and it was a bad idea. | ||
| But I think that with a guy like him, I don't know what kind of options he has. | ||
| Nobody's beaten down his door to fight him. | ||
| I know that Conor didn't want to fight him. | ||
| He wasn't interested in that. | ||
| I don't know what other options he's got. | ||
| He retired from boxing. | ||
| But also, he's one of the greatest analysts in the game. | ||
| But if he's going to fight a bare-knuckle boxing fight, there's got to be a financial motive for that. | ||
| I would hope. | ||
| The only thing that makes sense is that that's a financial motive. | ||
| But listen, Showtime pays him well. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| So it's like, to do that, you know, you look at the payday, like Artem made, I think, $50,000 for the last fight. | ||
| So let's say they pay him triple. | ||
| Let's say they pay him quadruple. | ||
| Let's say he's making, what is that, fucking $250,000. | ||
| Is that enough to do a bare-knuckle fight when you're making six figures? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| You could get your face fucked up, too. | ||
| That's the reality of those knuckles, man. | ||
| I'm changing my tune a little bit, but not all the way, but a little bit. | ||
| Oh, come on, you gotta change your tune, Joe, a little bit. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| You do get cut up more in bare-knuckle boxing, but you're also not kicking or using takedowns or anything else in bare-knuckle boxing. | ||
| I think it'd be way more brutal if there was takedown and kicks. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't think the best guy wins also in Bare Knuckle. | ||
|
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|
Why is that? | |
| Because, you know, Pauly has way more fighting experience than Artem, right? | ||
| So he's got more scar tissue. | ||
| So if there's a guy with a ton of scar tissue, your face opens up like a... | ||
| It looks like a murder scene. | ||
| It looks like a Charles Manson murder scene. | ||
| Because of the knuckles. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you might land seven shots to his two, but your face is fucked up against the fight. | ||
| But listen, nothing cuts you up more than elbows. | ||
| And elbows are 100% legal in the UFC. They're hard to pull off, though. | ||
| Unless it's ground and pound. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Like, standing. | ||
| Like, I can't. | ||
| Like, old John can. | ||
| Like, he does that. | ||
| How about Johnny Walker? | ||
| Johnny Walker's got nasty elbows in the clutch. | ||
| Did he really get fucked? | ||
| Did he really hurt? | ||
| Because he didn't hurt from him at all, right? | ||
| I think he recovered. | ||
| Like, whatever was wrong with his shoulder recovered. | ||
| But the reality is, if you hurt yourself so bad that you can't move your arm afterwards, coming from someone who's had some shoulder injuries, that to me is like, you got some damage in there. | ||
| You know why else it's alarming? | ||
| Because when he did it, his adrenaline was so high, usually you can go through some shit. | ||
| If you got hurt bad enough where your adrenaline, I mean, you just won a huge fight, you're doing the worm after victory, and you can feel the pain, that's why, oh, fuck, there's probably damage there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because your adrenaline's so high, it numbs everything. | ||
| Just imagine if that winds up defining his career. | ||
| We've developed shoulder problems. | ||
| I hope not. | ||
| Glover's had some serious shoulder problems ever since the John fight. | ||
| He's also 70 years old. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| He's been fighting in Brazil since he was three. | ||
| But when John grabbed his arm and yanked it, back when Glover was the top contender, remember? | ||
| Yeah, I remember. | ||
| John got him in that overhook and ripped his fucking arm up. | ||
| Bro, I never saw anybody do that before. | ||
| I was like, that's genius. | ||
| That's a really smart thing because you're fucking super vulnerable in that position. | ||
| No one really thinks about it. | ||
| He just grabs him. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Just yanked it. | ||
| He fucked his shoulder up. | ||
| John's the goat. | ||
| Hands down. | ||
| Not even close. | ||
| Well, it's him and the best expression in terms of what I've seen in the octagon is Mighty Mouse, but he just didn't fight the level of competition. | ||
| Except for Cejudo. | ||
| We're finding out Cejudo's the fucking man. | ||
|
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|
Here's the thing with that, though, Joe. | |
| We're definitely finding that out. | ||
| And Mighty Mouse, you know, I love fucking Mighty Mouse. | ||
| Him or John can do one or two. | ||
| The problem with him being number one is that weight class, the margin of error is way higher. | ||
| So if I zig left when I should have zigged right, I'm not getting knocked out. | ||
| I can learn from him to go back. | ||
| If John zigs left when she went right by Glover, he's getting knocked the fuck out. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| The margin of error is so small. | ||
| John can take a shot, but if it's Rumble Johnson, he's getting knocked out. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| John's that good. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| So when he beat Suhuda, right? | ||
| Suhuda had seven fights the first time. | ||
| Smoked him. | ||
| Suhuda gains experience, then he beats him. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| So the pound for pound, that takes a little off of Mighty Mouse. | ||
| But I think he's two. | ||
| Did you agree with the decision when Cejudo beat him? | ||
| It's so tough to tell, man. | ||
| It's tough. | ||
| It's fucking... | ||
| Listen, if they would have gave it to Mighty Mouse, I wouldn't have been mad at him. | ||
| I wouldn't have been mad at him. | ||
| Dude, how about your boy Sage? | ||
| No worth the cut. | ||
| Yeah, Cosmo Alexander. | ||
| Cosmo killed a guy. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Sage is still in the hospital. | ||
| 17 fractures in his face. | ||
| Yeah, no, he's still in the hospital. | ||
| I thought you meant he actually killed a guy outside of that. | ||
| No, he basically did. | ||
| Because, you know, Sergey Kovalev did. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| Kovalev killed a guy in a fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| Well, Cosmo Alexander is a world-class Muay Thai fighter. | ||
| I mean, John Wayne Parr fought him. | ||
| You know, he fought Nikki Holtzkin. | ||
| He's world-class. | ||
| As far as striking, it's a completely different level. | ||
| But I guess because it was an MMA fight, he was willing to take it. | ||
| But they fought stand-up. | ||
| Poor management. | ||
| And Sage took that karate stance. | ||
| And the dude circled off to his right and landed that fucking right hand and it was on the bazette. | ||
| That's the hardest right hand I've ever seen. | ||
| I can't think just from a world-class striker with four-ounce gloves on and he's circling into the right and it's like a fucking bomb. | ||
| It's pretty goddamn strong and Cosmo's a beast of a man. | ||
| I mean, he's a big, thick dude. | ||
| See, I mean, a big, thick dude with multiple world titles to his name. | ||
| Don't you feel bad for Sage? | ||
| Yeah, it's a terrible matchup. | ||
| I don't know why they agreed to let him fight that guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| It's just not smart. | ||
| Because that. | ||
| Because the kickboxing and the stand-up. | ||
| He doesn't have the experience to be in that. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean, Sage is good. | ||
| He's very good. | ||
| But these kind of losses are terrible for his future. | ||
| Because they're mismanagement losses, in my opinion. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I think, Sage is what, 22? | ||
| Like, look at that punch that lands. | ||
| I mean, that is ferocious. | ||
| From a world-class striker! | ||
| Yeah, I mean, that's full blast, dude. | ||
| That is a full blast shot. | ||
| That is a full circle right. | ||
| You can't get hit cleaner than that. | ||
| No, you can't even hit him. | ||
| It'd be hard to hit a fucking double and bag that hard. | ||
| But meanwhile, when he fought, you ever seen him when he fought Nicky Holtzkin? | ||
| Cosmo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he got out of class, for sure. | ||
| There's levels, but in MMA, Sage isn't even... | ||
| They shouldn't be sharing the same ring. | ||
| If I'm on championships, though, why would I bring this stud, this American stud who looks like Ryu from Street Fighter, and go, hey, first fight, here's the most world-class striker we got on the roster? | ||
| Well, because they want him to be tested. | ||
| And I think that if I was Chautry, I would be looking at it like this. | ||
| When a guy like Eddie Alvarez gets KO'd, or a guy like Sage Northcutt gets KO'd, or a guy like Mighty Mouse gets tagged and has a real fight on his hands, then you're showing the whole world. | ||
| Like, hey, these guys that are coming over here that are world-class fighters, they're fighting world-class fighters. | ||
| And they're getting knocked out. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| It's a great thing for them, I think. | ||
| So with Eddie Alvarez, veteran, he should be a Hall of Famer, Bellator champ, UFC champ. | ||
| Give him the best you got. | ||
| He's seen it all. | ||
| It's going to be tough to get one past him. | ||
| Sage Northcutt, Mighty Mouse, give him the best you got. | ||
| He's seen it all. | ||
| Good luck getting past him. | ||
| Sage Northcutt, you're investing in his future. | ||
| He's not ready. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| So you've kind of fucked him, man. | ||
| Also, you're trying to get in the American market. | ||
| But Cosmo's not an MMA fighter. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| This is Cosmo's first MMA fight. | ||
| What if Sage just takes him down and smashes him? | ||
| That would have been great. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, that could have happened too. | ||
| That's not Sage style. | ||
| He's not a grappler. | ||
| Okay, but he knows how to grapple. | ||
| Sage is taking guys down in the octagon before. | ||
| Taking Cosmo down is easier than said. | ||
| He used to train with me and Rashad at Black's Aliens and fuck us up. | ||
| Did he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a nightmare. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So when I saw it for Sage, I'm like, what? | ||
| Also, are you building Cosmo? | ||
| He's older, man. | ||
| Well, he's only 34. 37. 37? | ||
| Is he? | ||
| 37 has 1,000 kickboxing matches? | ||
| Like, you're going to invest in that now? | ||
| From a business aspect, it doesn't make sense to me. | ||
| I think it does, though, because it shows, with two giant results over the last two months, that one has world-class talent there, and I think it makes people pay more attention to one. | ||
| Not me. | ||
| It put me off of him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| I went, oh, that's fucked up. | ||
| No, see, listen, man. | ||
| I'm a sage man. | ||
| Cosmo is a fucking Muay Thai fighter. | ||
| I mean, that's his bread and butter. | ||
| He fights Muay Thai. | ||
| Stand-up's his bread and butter, yeah. | ||
| So when Cosmo goes and fights in an MMA fight, you would think at least in one area he's going to be at a disadvantage. | ||
| If Sage chooses to have a stand-up fight with a world-class stand-up fighter, that's just bad strategy. | ||
| That's Sage's game, though, especially as a young fighter. | ||
| It is his game, but he's a mixed martial arts fighter. | ||
| Then he should become a kickboxer. | ||
| If that's his game, it's just to stand up and strike with people, then just stay a kickboxer. | ||
| Listen, man, if you're going to fight in MMA, in MMA you could do everything. | ||
| What do you want to do in this fight? | ||
| Don't you want to win? | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| I want you to win. | ||
| Here's how you win. | ||
| You don't stand with one of the best fucking strikers in the world. | ||
| How old is he? | ||
| 22. Sage? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you just tell him. | ||
| This is an exercise and strategy. | ||
| You keep that side stance, that's fine. | ||
| Bait him in, but then shoot. | ||
| Just get the clinch and drag that motherfucker to the ground and let's wear him out. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| Which he's never done in any fight ever. | ||
| But he has taken guys down before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But let's say you see your manager and they go, hey, here's Cosmo. | ||
| I go, hold on. | ||
| Let me go through this with you, Sage. | ||
| Pros. | ||
| You beat a straight world-class kickboxer in MMA. He's also 37 years old. | ||
| Not a lot of pros. | ||
| Cons. | ||
| Okay, but he's 37 years old. | ||
| You can't take him down. | ||
| He fucking starches you and your face gets broken 17 places and your career is probably... | ||
| Not going well. | ||
| The trajectory's definitely off the rails. | ||
| Pros, cons. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| It's just, if you look at the way boxing has always done it, and it's been often criticized, but there's some real good points to it about developing a fighter. | ||
| You give a guy, a fighter, a difficult fight that you think that he has the advantage in, but it's an advantage that will teach him some things. | ||
| Like, when the guy fights with him, what is this, Jimmy? | ||
| Cosmo's ninth fight was against Sage. | ||
| Oh, he's had a bunch of MMA fights? | ||
| Why did he say that on his... | ||
| And he knocks out everybody. | ||
| He said it on his... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| His... | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| His Instagram post about it. | ||
| He's no joke, man. | ||
| That he doesn't fight MMA. He's no fucking joke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's knocked everybody out almost. | |
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Yeah, start to everyone. | ||
| One championship goes, here you go. | ||
| Yeah, he looked... | ||
| It's been a couple years, I guess. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| 2016. Don't let that fool you though, man, because he's training with the best of the best as well. | ||
| Bottom line is, as a striker, he's superb. | ||
| But then the crazy thing is, pull up the Nicky Holtzkin fight. | ||
| Nicky Holtzkin knocks out Cosmo Alexandra. | ||
| That just shows you how many levels there are. | ||
| But then Nicky Holtzkin just lost to Regian Urso. | ||
| Just lost to him. | ||
| Got dropped with a knee. | ||
| It's so interesting, man, when you see levels upon levels upon levels, and you don't necessarily know that these levels even exist unless you're balls deep in the fucking sport. | ||
| You see a guy like Nicky, first of all, Nicky's one of the best body punchers in kickboxing. | ||
|
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|
Ever! | |
| And this is a kickboxing fight as opposed to a Muay Thai fight as well. | ||
| So, no elbows, limited clinching, and you can only hold for like three seconds when you throw a knee. | ||
| You can only hold while you're... | ||
| Like, think one knee at a time or something like that. | ||
| They have weird rules, you know? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| The fact that Cosmo Alexander went toe-to-toe with Nicky Holton, I'm probably going to pass on my young, 22-year-old, wide-eyed youngster fighting him. | ||
| Nicky Holton had an amazing career and glory, too. | ||
| Some fucking incredible fights. | ||
| The Joseph Valtellini fight where he knocked him out in the last round. | ||
| Yeah, he's a beast, man. | ||
| Super, super technical and just tough as shit. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, look at just the way these guys are standing in front of you. | ||
| They're just checking everything. | ||
| Look at the technique, bro. | ||
| Perfect technique. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| Perfect defense. | ||
| Oh, we dropped him with that left hook. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, Holtzkin's a monster. | ||
| This is, by the way, a kickboxing fight. | ||
| Holtzkin also fought Cosmo Alexander and knocked him out in one FC. This is showtime in Amsterdam. | ||
| This is quite a few years ago. | ||
| It's Showtime was the shit, man. | ||
| You used to get it on AXS TV back when AXS TV was HDNet. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Mark Cuban's network. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck, yeah. | |
| HDNet was dope. | ||
| That MMA Live with Ron Kruk. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I used to go on there all the time. | ||
| Boss Ruten. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| And who's the other guy that Boss Ruten was on with? | ||
| Our boy Mauro Ranella. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| The other guy. | ||
| There was another guy who was on. | ||
| Kenny Rice. | ||
| Oh, Kenny Rice? | ||
| Kenny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kenny Rice. | |
| Kenny Rice, yeah. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wasn't Mauro on there too for a long time? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Was Morrow on that? | ||
| Morrow was on there. | ||
| Am I going crazy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You might be crazy. | |
| Kenny was on there, though. | ||
| Kenny was definitely on there. | ||
| Ron Kruk was the best. | ||
| They used to have all these great kickboxing matches from Amsterdam and shit. | ||
| But you see ESPN now has PFL on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, do they? | |
| If you're balls deep in MMA, they have PFL. Morrow was on that, yeah. | ||
| He was on that. | ||
| I was on that a bunch of times. | ||
| I've been on it a couple times. | ||
| What? | ||
| For the first nine seasons, it was hosted by Kenny Rice. | ||
| Oh, and then Moral came on later? | ||
| Yeah, Kenny used to fly in from Kentucky, I remember. | ||
| Just fly in, do the show, fly back out. | ||
| I'm like, for sure, move here, huh? | ||
| Yeah, well, maybe he really likes Kentucky. | ||
| Yeah, he loved it. | ||
| Have to. | ||
| What do you like about it? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Kentucky Derby once a year. | ||
| Keep you there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it is? | |
| Bourbon. | ||
| I want to go to the Kentucky Derby. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| That's just crazy. | ||
| I want to take acid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm so down for that. | ||
| And wear suits like Dumb and Dumber. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| That shit would be dope. | ||
| Let's do it next year. | ||
| And get sloshed off fucking bourbon. | ||
| Yeah, next year. | ||
| Take acid and go to the Derby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check out that Buffalo Trace distillery or whatever. | |
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Is it out there? | ||
| I don't want to be on acid at the Buffalo Trace distillery. | ||
| Dude, I drink whiskey almost every day now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| What's happening? | ||
| I don't know, dude. | ||
| I'm getting older. | ||
| I got the palate for whiskey. | ||
| Really? | ||
| A lot of stress. | ||
| What about cigars? | ||
| Do you like cigars? | ||
| Nope, not my thing yet. | ||
| I like olives. | ||
| I used to hate olives. | ||
| Love olives now. | ||
| And whiskey, dude. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| What whiskey is this? | ||
| I'm gonna have a little more, by the way. | ||
| What's it called again, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blanton's. | |
| Yeah, that's Blanton's. | ||
| It is delicious. | ||
| Who brought us that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have no idea. | |
| It could have been Sam Harris, but anybody could have brought it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't remember, honestly. | |
| This can't be cheap. | ||
| Just feeling this goblet that they got here. | ||
| This grenade goblet they got. | ||
| This Game of Thrones goblet is sick. | ||
| Dude, someone gave me Johnny Walker White Walker whiskey. | ||
| Shout out, Todd Feldman. | ||
| White Walker whiskey? | ||
| Bring that shit up, Jamie. | ||
| White Walker whiskey from Game of Thrones? | ||
| Limited edition. | ||
| I'm not drinking that zombie piss. | ||
| The bottle's so sick, I don't want people touching it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Oh, it's a collector's item, man. | ||
| Collecting bottles of Game of Thrones. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I got that shit, bro. | ||
| Is it sold out? | ||
| They want a goddamn Enzo Ferrari. | ||
| Oh, they want you to have your birthday. | ||
| Mmm, John. | ||
| Dude, how dope is that? | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| Johnny Walker's a White Walker? | ||
| Yeah, but what do you want to be aligned with the biggest fucking assholes in the realm? | ||
| Come on, Johnny Walker. | ||
| I wish they would have won. | ||
| What if Johnny Walker were the Nazis? | ||
| I wish they would have won. | ||
| Johnny Walker, Nazi vodka. | ||
| Would you buy that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Why the fuck are you buying White Walker whiskey? | ||
| Or White Walker bourbon or whatever it is. | ||
| It was a gift, bro. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Fuck the White Walkers. | ||
| Can you drive my Ferrari home? | ||
| Bro. | ||
| For me. | ||
| Are you going to get hammered? | ||
| I wouldn't mind. | ||
| Stick around. | ||
| Shoot some arrows. | ||
| Shoot some arrows. | ||
| Get in the flow tank. | ||
| Relax, my friend. | ||
| Relax. | ||
| So, there's some other good fights that happened this weekend. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Rafael Dos Anjos versus Kevin Lee. | ||
| I didn't see it, bro. | ||
| It's how busy I've been. | ||
| I was at the Wilder fight. | ||
| I missed that. | ||
| I know Dos Anjos looked good and beat Kevin Lee. | ||
| Kevin Lee needs a new camp. | ||
| Kevin Lee needs a camp. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think Kevin Lee should go to Farah Sahabi. | ||
| That's my advice. | ||
| Or Jackson's. | ||
| The reason why Farras Ahabi is because Kevin Lee's skill set is very similar to George St. Pierre's. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a good point. | |
| Very good striking. | ||
| Athletic. | ||
| Very athletic. | ||
| Explosive. | ||
| And great timing with his takedowns. | ||
| Nobody knows how to coach that better than Farras Ahabi. | ||
| It's a good idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not bad at all. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| Oh, Aaron Pico just went to Jackson's. | ||
| Yes, I think that's a great move too. | ||
| Oh yeah, I hooked him up with my boy Vinny Shorman too. | ||
| So I told him that I think that he should go to Ferasa Hobbies and I told him about Vinny Shorman who's an incredible mental coach. | ||
| I do think he's going to be champ. | ||
| He's got all the tools. | ||
| I actually believe that. | ||
| If he gets his shit together and goes to a legit camp, because you remember his coach passed away, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Robert Follis, who was very close to them. | ||
| Such a shame. | ||
| Amazing, amazing guy. | ||
| And so he passed away, and then it was like he was like, I'll just stay here and put together this kind of ragtag group, and we'll figure it out. | ||
| The UFC now is at such a high level to compete with the guys he's competing with. | ||
| You've got to have a good camp, man. | ||
| Like a legit coach, head coach, leader. | ||
| It's no disrespect to any small camps or small gyms that don't have the experience. | ||
| No, I'm not trying to be. | ||
| I'm just saying that an athlete has a small fucking window, man. | ||
| Like, Kevin is 26, right? | ||
| So he's got 10 years. | ||
| He's lost three out of his last four? | ||
| Yeah, not good. | ||
| UFC don't play with that shit. | ||
| And before that, he was beating guys in pretty spectacular fashion, right? | ||
| Robert Foles' death had a tremendous impact on him as a fighter, as a person. | ||
| And then he fought some really great fighters, too, on top of that, you know? | ||
| And Al Iaquinta, man, I mean, from the jump of that fight, from the get-go, when he hit him with that spinning backfist, he let him know, like, this is, you're in a dogfight, man. | ||
| Also, that Tony Ferguson fight was a dogfight. | ||
| A dogfight. | ||
| A dogfight. | ||
| Yeah, these guys have dogfights. | ||
| And when the Tony Ferguson fight, he had a staph infection clear, 100%. | ||
| Yeah, and he looked good, though. | ||
| Took Tony down, was on top, got choked out. | ||
| Got his mount. | ||
| Like, he looked fucking good, man. | ||
| Look, when you have, you've had staph before, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's awful. | ||
| And the way it drains your body. | ||
| It's the antibiotics that drains your body. | ||
| Well, the staff does, too. | ||
| I mean, if you get it to as far as where it is with him, he's in a full infection. | ||
| He has a full infection, so it's in his bloodstream, but the thing that fucks your cardio and your energy, like... | ||
| Like no other? | ||
| The antibiotics do. | ||
| Fuck you so bad. | ||
| They do. | ||
| But so does the staph. | ||
| Especially when it's that bad. | ||
| I mean, he's got a fucking giant squirrel growing out of his tit. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| And they told DC not to say anything? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They told DC not to say anything. | |
| I saw it immediately. | ||
| He walked in the octagon. | ||
| I'm like, he's got staph. | ||
| I go, that's staph. | ||
| And then I go, hey, DC. I go, is that staph? | ||
| That looks like staph to me. | ||
| And they go, do not talk about the staph. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, that looks like staph to me, Joe! | |
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love him. | |
| Like, bitch, you're talking to Daniel Cormier. | ||
| You can't help him not talk about staff. | ||
| The guy who knows staff better than anyone in that goddamn arena. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's staff. | ||
| He's a wrestling coach. | ||
| Listen, we would be doing a massive disservice to the viewing public if we didn't admit that it was staff. | ||
| It's part of the drama. | ||
| It's part of what makes the fights interesting. | ||
| But my take on Kevin Lee is he's a great guy. | ||
| I'm going to have him on again. | ||
| He's going to come on again soon. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He's a great person. | ||
| I like talking to him. | ||
| He's very smart. | ||
| Let me know where you have him, Mark, because I'll put him on the food truck diary. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| I'll text you. | ||
| I'll split the cost with you or whatever you want. | ||
| Nah, don't worry about it. | ||
| But anyway, there's a defining moment in a fighter's career when they realize they need to make changes. | ||
| They're not doing things the way they should be doing them, and they need to make some changes. | ||
| But I think one of the reasons why you care and I care, especially with Kevin, if it was somebody else, some other guys, I won't mention names, but with Kevin, I go, well, no, he can be champ. | ||
| He just has to change a few things, and you're going to see this kid as champion. | ||
| The other guy's like, ah, just keep doing what you're doing. | ||
| He 100% can be complete. | ||
| He has the skills, the mindset, and he has the full package. | ||
| He looks good, speaks good, dresses well, has the skills, sign me up. | ||
| He's a good person, too. | ||
| When you talk to him, he's a good person. | ||
| You can feel it. | ||
| Yeah, he's a good person. | ||
| He's just gotta make some changes and he needs a Mastro. | ||
| He needs a fucking conductor. | ||
| He needs a Greg Jackson or a Matt Hume or a Faraz Adi. | ||
| You can't get there without it these days. | ||
| Or a Duke Rufus. | ||
| A Mike Brown at ATT. Yep, yep, yep. | ||
| Dude, I have Dustin Poirier on Food Truck Diaries. | ||
| Brown's amazing. | ||
| I'm sorry, not Mike Brown, Dustin Poirion. | ||
| But he was talking about Mike Brown, how great he is, and Dustin the diamond Poirion. | ||
| And he started talking about his wife. | ||
| Dude, I'm balls deep into chicken and waffles, eating the food truck, you know, stuff. | ||
| And he starts talking about her, and we're probably 30 minutes in it. | ||
| I started getting terry-eyed. | ||
| He starts getting terry-eyed. | ||
| He was just talking about how, because I was telling him, like, it's a long journey. | ||
| How have you not, like, I can't believe you didn't stop at some point. | ||
| Like, you've been doing it since you were 18. How have you not stopped? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And he goes, honestly, I haven't said this before, I would have stopped. | ||
| I've thought about retiring, and my wife told me I can't. | ||
| She's giving me these pep talks. | ||
| I'm like, that's nuts, man. | ||
| How long have you been winning? | ||
| He goes, oh, she drove me to my first fight. | ||
| My first fight before I got out of the car. | ||
| I get emotional now. | ||
| He goes, before I got out of the car, she told me you're going to be world champion. | ||
| Dude, I got chills. | ||
| I'm like, dude, you're giving me fucking chills. | ||
| I'm like, well, because you are a champ. | ||
| People are always interim champ. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| It's still part of champion. | ||
| Dude, he'd be one of the best fighters on earth. | ||
| Pound for pound, 145 great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Top three great. | ||
| He's the best 145 pounder ever. | ||
| And he's without a doubt one of the best pound for pound fighters in the world. | ||
| And Dustin beat him. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| So he's a champ in some form. | ||
| He has a belt. | ||
| And I went, you made it. | ||
| And I told him, I said... | ||
| I'm terrible at this, so this is me telling you. | ||
| This is probably me deflecting what I should be doing, but you're going to fight Khabib. | ||
| And I said, I don't give a fuck how that fight goes. | ||
| You've done it, brother. | ||
| When you were 18, you decided to go on this journey, become UFC champion. | ||
| You had all these dreams, your wife, how many sacrifices. | ||
| You guys have a little girl now, and you're there, man. | ||
| I said, I don't care if Khabib beat your ass for five rounds. | ||
| You've done it, dude. | ||
| I went, please acknowledge that. | ||
| Nobody wants to hear that, though. | ||
| Nobody wants to hear, I don't care if Khabib beats you. | ||
| But what I'm telling him is, you've succeeded. | ||
| Mission accomplished, brother. | ||
| Mission accomplished. | ||
| I went, how crazy is that to hear? | ||
| Mission accomplished. | ||
| What did he think though? | ||
| Probably doesn't think like that. | ||
| Probably thinks he's still on the quest. | ||
| I don't think you can. | ||
| Do you think like that? | ||
| Guys who have that weird engine in them don't think like that. | ||
| I've never felt more pressure in my life to become a better comic than when I released my special. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| I'm like, oh shit, now the work starts. | ||
| That was whatever. | ||
| Dude, I've never satisfied with myself more than 15-20 minutes a week. | ||
| I wish I had 15 minutes where I was. | ||
| I couldn't tell you I was. | ||
| 15, 20 minutes a week, I'll have a glass of wine, I'll put my feet up, I'll kick back, and then that little voice in the back of my head is like, are you doing everything you can do? | ||
| Get up. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Gotta get some shit done. | ||
| It's kind of a demon, though, isn't it, Joe? | ||
| It's a demon. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| One of my dreams was to buy the car that I bought, and I bought it, and we're in bed, and my girl goes, how do you feel? | ||
| I went, exactly the same. | ||
| I think material things, they don't matter at all. | ||
| And the next day, we wake up, and I get up with my son every morning, and we always watch cars on YouTube, and she goes, what the fuck? | ||
| I'm watching a different car. | ||
| She goes, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| I'm looking at the next car. | ||
| She's like, there's no way. | ||
| I'm like, I need goals. | ||
| As soon as we bought our house. | ||
| I swear to God, the next morning. | ||
| She goes, what are you doing? | ||
| I go, looking at the next house. | ||
| I don't know what to do. | ||
| No, that's normal. | ||
| My message to Dustin was enjoy this. | ||
| But don't get... | ||
| The thing about stuff, though, as opposed to goals, is stuff, you could always just keep buying stuff and making money to buy stuff. | ||
| And then you find yourself being one of those people that just does stuff for money because you want to buy the stuff. | ||
| I've never done that, though. | ||
| But there are people like that out there, right? | ||
| I've heard Steve Harvey talk about money, like how much money he wants to make per year, and someone was making fun of it. | ||
| And I was thinking, well, he's in this vibe where he's trying to get stuff and make money, and you gotta make money to get stuff, and you get sort of in this game of accumulating more and bigger and better things. | ||
| For me, the most important thing is the stuff that I put out if people like it. | ||
| If I do a UFC and I suck, if I stumble through something or I make a bad call, that shit will fuck me up for days. | ||
| And there's nothing you can do to fix it. | ||
| Nothing I can do to fix it. | ||
| You'd get a Lamborghini, a Ferrari, it's not going to help fill that void. | ||
| It wouldn't do a damn thing. | ||
| Same with a podcast. | ||
| If I do a podcast, it doesn't go well. | ||
| If I do a set, the set doesn't go well, or I stumble through a joke... | ||
| All I care about is the stuff that I do in terms of, like, progress. | ||
| I focus all my progress on that. | ||
| I'll distract myself with stuff, but, like, look, this watch costs like 50 bucks or something. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Is that Todd Hoyer? | ||
| That's a taser. | ||
| Not 50, but I hear you. | ||
| It's a military watch. | ||
| Well, it's like 300 bucks, maybe. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| But it doesn't matter. | ||
| Whether that's 500 or 300 bucks, or this is 22 grand. | ||
| Not a big deal. | ||
| 22 grand. | ||
| But it doesn't matter. | ||
| American money? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stone cold cash. | ||
| Not a big deal. | ||
| Rolex. | ||
| Did you just make that from talking? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Talking shit. | ||
| You're just talking shit? | ||
| Just talking shit. | ||
| My point is, that doesn't make you happy. | ||
| It doesn't make you feel any way. | ||
| This doesn't make me feel any way. | ||
| None of it. | ||
| The more I learn, the more I... Accumulate these material things. | ||
| It doesn't mean shit, man. | ||
| The only thing that means shit is your friends and your loved ones and what you're trying to do with your life. | ||
| Bob Dylan said it best. | ||
| They said, you know, what's success to you? | ||
| He goes, not having to work for assholes and waking up and going to bed doing exactly what I want. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Boom, set, match. | ||
| You're already doing that, right? | ||
| I'm already doing that. | ||
| The only time I ever felt, I guess, somewhat successful, I really don't, but the only time I felt a little successful is when I turned down a big gig on a major network to do TV. I went, no, I'm kind of good, man. | ||
| I'm good doing what I want to do, and I own all this stuff, and I'm not pressed to do it. | ||
| Do you imagine what it would be like if you had a boss? | ||
| Remember the shit that you guys were dealing with at Fox? | ||
| We were telling you to stop cursing on the Fighter and the Kid? | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Just imagine how bad that advice is. | ||
| Think about how many fucking millions of downloads of the Fighter and the Kid have been out there. | ||
| How many humans on the planet Earth? | ||
| If you could see an overhead map of all the people on the planet Earth, a light went off every time a dude was listening to the Fighter and the Kid, he'd be like, holy fuck, it would freak you out to see that number. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And that Fox guy was like, let's clean it up, boys. | |
| You know what that guy told me, too? | ||
| I started arguing with him and he kind of got my face and went, just like you have your black belt in the octagon, I got my black belt in TV. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| That's cool as shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. | |
| Did he really say that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He's got his black belt in TV. | ||
| Let me tell you. | ||
| Well, he got fired from Fox, by the way. | ||
| Of course he did. | ||
| The dirty little secret about all those guys, they don't know what the fuck they're doing. | ||
| They find talented people. | ||
| Yeah, they have no idea. | ||
| If you get Stephen A. Smith, you wouldn't be doing that. | ||
| Yeah, if you get fucking Max Keller, man, you get all those guys. | ||
| Those are the guys that are on your television show. | ||
| Your television show is going to do well. | ||
| If those are the guys that are doing commentary for you, they're excellent. | ||
| They're compelling. | ||
| You're going to listen to them. | ||
| You're not a great producer. | ||
| That's not why the show's great. | ||
| No, it's the talent, you fucks. | ||
| Yeah, when you're telling a podcast the one free medium left on the planet Earth where you can distribute to millions of people and no one can tell you what the fuck to do. | ||
| There's not another thing like it on Earth. | ||
| Not one. | ||
| Not one. | ||
| Maybe websites, but good luck getting people to read. | ||
| It's still the greatest form of content you can get. | ||
| Yeah, and to be able to have that with no producer, no executive, no filter, and to have it available to you while you're doing other stuff, right? | ||
| You could be mowing your lawn right now. | ||
| It's in your ear. | ||
| You're running. | ||
| It's in your ear. | ||
| You're driving to work. | ||
| It's in your ear. | ||
| You're on the subway. | ||
| It's in your ear. | ||
| You get to know people, too. | ||
| Let's say you were 2019 Jay Leno. | ||
| That's what you were, right? | ||
| Doing the shows as we were doing Johnny Carson at the time, right? | ||
| Let's say you're that guy. | ||
| Let's say it's that overproduced show. | ||
| No one really gets to know you. | ||
| Did you know Johnny Carson from The Tonight Show? | ||
| Did you know Jay Leno? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it's when they went on to do stuff after the fact. | ||
| But now, people know you pretty fucking well. | ||
| People know me pretty well, man. | ||
| Pretty well, yeah. | ||
| You're either on board or you're not. | ||
| Yeah, it's different. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| But even Conan talked about that, how, you know, when he was doing the Conan, I heard him on Howard Stern, and he was doing, he said, I do the Conan show, and, you know, we had a band, and I was going through this interview, but I had to stop it. | ||
| Like, I was in balls deep in this interview, man. | ||
| I had to stop it, because the band's playing, we gotta get to that, or we gotta get to the next bit. | ||
| And he's like, no, just let me go, man. | ||
| Let me have this conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So he's even come over to podcasting. | ||
| And even Howard Stern goes, well, that's one of the reasons I want to do long form is because they want to overproduce all this stuff. | ||
| But if I have to get to – I want to talk to somebody. | ||
| I want to get to know them. | ||
| I don't want to cut to commercial breaks. | ||
| I don't have to cut for this band or this bit you want to do. | ||
| Let me talk to this guy, man. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of guys that are still cutting their podcast stuff with commercials. | ||
| They'll stop in the middle and do a commercial. | ||
| Do you guys do that? | ||
| We've done it before. | ||
| I don't know if we currently do. | ||
| We just left our current advertisers. | ||
| It was a nightmare. | ||
| We just signed with Paragon. | ||
| Shout out to Paragon. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Sometimes we might. | ||
| Sometimes we might, Joe, to be honest with you. | ||
| But, you know... | ||
| What we are doing... | ||
| But if you're going to do it, you're only going to do it once, right? | ||
| Once, yeah. | ||
| But what's different with King of the Sting is... | ||
| So when we do our read... | ||
| You guys do it before, and there's no video, but we do it... | ||
| Me and Theo do it together, on camera, and have fun with it. | ||
| So it's part of the show. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Different animal. | ||
| That's different. | ||
| You got me and Theo doing a read for you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're doing a read for this financial thing. | ||
| And he goes, and you can save, I think, $75 a year. | ||
| And when I said $75 a year, I didn't pre-read. | ||
| $75, I cut a crack. | ||
| And then Theo goes, yeah, a smooth $75 a year. | ||
| Do the financial people get mad at you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| We were laughing so hard. | ||
| I go, yeah, go with him, get $75 a year. | ||
| Is that really what they're offering? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| It might have been $7,500 or $7,500. | ||
| Well, $7,500 is reasonable. | ||
| $7,500 is different. | ||
| I forget what it was. | ||
| $750? | ||
| It was something super low, and I could not stop laughing. | ||
| Then Theo started laughing. | ||
| They left it in. | ||
| I feel like that read would do better than the others. | ||
| Maybe, but it would do better in terms of financial, in terms of clicks, but it probably wouldn't do better in terms of people going there and using the product. | ||
| People would think it would be funny. | ||
| Great thing. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| We'll find someone else. | ||
| Yeah, that's the thing. | ||
| You have too many podcast sponsors these days. | ||
| I'd say no to them every day. | ||
| I get tons of them coming in. | ||
| Yeah, I bet. | ||
| But it's not... | ||
| It's got to make some sense. | ||
| It has to connect with what you're about a little bit. | ||
| It's got to be a good thing, too. | ||
| It's got to be a valuable product. | ||
| Yeah, you gave me the best advice ever when I started doing advertising on podcasts, because it was a while before we started doing it. | ||
| You better believe in it, man. | ||
| You sell shit, people don't stop tuning in. | ||
| They're not going to believe you. | ||
| I've had a bunch of things that I turned down because I researched it, and I was like, what is this? | ||
| How does that work? | ||
| Yeah, Brian's great at that. | ||
| I was like, ooh, this is sketchy. | ||
| There was one of them. | ||
| They wanted to do an Uber for babysitting. | ||
| I'm like, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's a terrible idea. | ||
| Are you crazy? | ||
| The biggest argument Cal and I ever got in our fucking 90-year relationship is Burger King came towards us, and I grew up eating Burger King, man. | ||
| I grew up eating Whopper with cheese. | ||
| Not every day, but I'd fucking have one. | ||
| I'm a goddamn American. | ||
| And Brian said no? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He was like, we can't push that off, and we had a straight-up argument. | ||
| How did it end? | ||
| I think we did a Burger King raid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Shout out to Burger King. | ||
| If you're hungry and they're open, there's food. | ||
| A Whopper with cheese, best burger on planet Earth. | ||
| Fuck you in and out. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| Whopper with cheese only? | ||
| That's so not true. | ||
| Whopper with cheese and ketchup only? | ||
| That so often makes me want to take you to a doctor right now and get a CAT scan. | ||
| What do you like? | ||
| I do have CT. What do you like? | ||
| Double fucking double from In-N-Out, son. | ||
| Are you an In-N-Out guy, too? | ||
| Or a Five Guys Burgers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fatburger, Five Guys over In-N-Out. | |
| Five Guys is delicious. | ||
| Hold on, but we can agree on one thing here before I call you guys Nazis. | ||
| Not In-N-Out. | ||
| What? | ||
| In-N-Out is so much better. | ||
| For number one? | ||
| I like Five Guys and I like In-N-Out. | ||
| You like Five Guys number one, though. | ||
| Yeah, I think I like Five Guys better because Five Guys offers bacon and also jalapenos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| The speed of In-N-Out is such a deterrent too sometimes. | ||
| The wines? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| The one right up here? | ||
| The fuck out of my face, bro. | ||
| Five Guys doesn't have a drive-thru though, right? | ||
| Five Guys doesn't do the drive-thru. | ||
| They're like, bitch, sit down. | ||
| Come on in. | ||
| And they have milkshakes at In-N-Out. | ||
| That's a big plus. | ||
| If you're ready to fuck your body up with some poisoned food that tastes great, then milkshakes will do it to you. | ||
| They'll give it to you. | ||
| Dude, I've been so stressed out with this special. | ||
| My diet, even my workouts, my diet's been awful. | ||
| You've been eating like a girl was pregnant? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pickles and ice cream and shit? | ||
| Yeah, because my girl might be pregnant again. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Been eating pizza every night. | ||
| Uh-oh. | ||
| I don't know what it is, dude. | ||
| I'm in a funk. | ||
| I'm in a funk, dude. | ||
| Well, stress. | ||
| They've actually said that, that people under stress make poor decisions. | ||
| Poor decisions eating. | ||
| Everything else has been great. | ||
| Food-wise, too. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, people make poor decisions food-wise. | ||
| I did buy a fry and I'd eat pizza every night. | ||
| You might be onto something. | ||
| Yeah, I think you're freaking out. | ||
| I'm not freaking out, though. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| You think? | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| Nah, we'll figure it out. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| No, no, you're not freaking out, but you're under stress. | ||
| You know what it is, Joe? | ||
| Getting judged by hundreds of thousands of people is very weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| Every time I do it, I stay offline for weeks. | ||
| Yeah, that's what you told me to stay offline. | ||
| I don't even read it. | ||
| Look, I do my best. | ||
| I try hard. | ||
| I do my best. | ||
| And you might like it, you might not like it. | ||
| But I do my best. | ||
| And when I'm done, as long as I know I did my best, I can just release it. | ||
| I've been able to do that for Triggered, and I did that for Strange Times. | ||
| When it was over, I was like, I'm good. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I mean, you might not like it, but I couldn't have done it better. | ||
| You know what my thing is? | ||
| I think with anything is you get more popular, whether it's through podcasting or stand-up or whatever you do. | ||
| If you're an artist, you put out an album. | ||
| If you're a painter, put out a painting. | ||
| If you're a fighter, you take a fight. | ||
| It's a big fight. | ||
| I'm going to attract more eyeballs. | ||
| You're going to get a lot more people that love it. | ||
| You're going to get more hate because you're out there more. | ||
| Also, you're being shoved down people's faces. | ||
| Yeah, because you do a lot of press, too. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's why I don't do press. | ||
| It's one of the reasons why I don't do press. | ||
| You gotta love it, you don't have to. | ||
| I don't do press on the road. | ||
| But I don't want anybody to have to listen to me. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| You're at such a different level than I am. | ||
| I have to do press a little bit. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get it. | |
| But I don't do it for stand-up anymore. | ||
| When I go to towns, I don't do press anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| Beautiful. | ||
| But then you're getting 100% your fans. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And also, with the special, it's different because I didn't want our group, like you guys who vouched for me, or especially Showtime, who was like, let's get a special. | ||
| I didn't want to embarrass. | ||
| I want it to go well for them. | ||
| Like, you know? | ||
| Yeah, no, I know what you're saying. | ||
| Like, I want them to be like, alright, we're proud of this. | ||
| Which they are, so I should be good with that, you know? | ||
| And I know you guys are proud of me, so I should be good with that. | ||
| Listen, I'm always proud of you. | ||
| So I don't know why I give a fuck. | ||
| You're trying to get better with something that's very difficult to do. | ||
| Some say the most difficult to do. | ||
| And you put out a special two years in, which is ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Three. | |
| I would have told you not to do it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| If you wanted to come to me, but I knew you were going to do it. | ||
| You guys know me. | ||
| I mean, we went down there, we helped you out, we opened for you, we... | ||
| It was a great time. | ||
| It was a great time. | ||
| And you're going to look back on it in eight years from now when you have another Killer Special out, or several down the line. | ||
| When do you think you'll do another one? | ||
| Do you think you'll wait another two years? | ||
| Three. | ||
| Three to four. | ||
| I was talking to... | ||
| But I think it's going to be... | ||
| I don't mean to interrupt you. | ||
| I think it's going to be cool to look back and go, holy fuck, he was three years in, that's what he did, and then four years from now, see the progression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Then four years from now, see the progression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And you can go back and look. | ||
| I think that's going to be fucking cool, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, 100%. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Listen, man, there's some videos me from when I first started out. | ||
| They're terrible. | ||
| There's no way you're not gonna be you're gonna be terrible Yes, you're just learning how to do something again It's like judging your roles when you're a white belt versus your roles as a black for sure. | ||
| It's like you don't know what you're doing now Yeah. | ||
| It's fine, man. | ||
| What are you going to say, though, about specials? | ||
| Most, like, especially season one, say every, I think, three years? | ||
| What'd Kevin say, four? | ||
| Well, I was going to say Jesselnik. | ||
| Jesselnik has a really interesting thought process on it. | ||
| He was telling me that he does, he did the podcast recently. | ||
| I love him, by the way. | ||
| I do, too. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's a killer, man. | ||
| Outstanding. | ||
| He's a new special. | ||
| Yeah, and it's on Netflix. | ||
| It's available right now. | ||
| It just came out. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Thoughts and Prayers? | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Thoughts and Prayers. | ||
| Anyway, that might be his other one. | ||
| He's got several. | ||
| But his new one just dropped on Netflix like a few weeks ago. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I don't think it's Thoughts and Prayers. | ||
| I think Thoughts and Prayers is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fire in the maternity ward. | |
| Close. | ||
| Fire in the maternity ward? | ||
| So what he does is he works on the material for a year, like in L.A. He just does little sets here and there. | ||
| Comedy store or whatever. | ||
| Puts together his hour. | ||
| Then he takes his hour on the road and does clubs for a year. | ||
| Just clubs for one year. | ||
| Then he does theaters for a year. | ||
| Three. | ||
| And at the end of that year he films. | ||
| So every three years? | ||
| Three years, yeah. | ||
| Which is not a bad idea if you don't get tired of your shit. | ||
| The problem is you do a lot of sets. | ||
| Like I do four sets a night sometimes. | ||
| You get really tired of your shit. | ||
| I get tired. | ||
| I get tired of new bits. | ||
| Yeah, especially during that many times. | ||
| Yes, it's hard to stay motivated if it's the same bit, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, but it's also, look, I feel so lucky that I can do it. | ||
| I feel so lucky. | ||
| Like, every time I go to do a set, like, I went to the store last night and hanging out in the back with Fitzsimmons and Ian Edwards and Owen Smith, who I'm trying to convince Owen Smith to never write again, because I think he's the fucking... | ||
| Owen Smith, can you bring him up, Jimmy? | ||
| Dude, you gotta come see him. | ||
| That guy's a monster. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| Owen Smith is so good, and he's got this gig. | ||
| He's always writing. | ||
| But there's a writer's strike right now. | ||
| He's a writer for like a major series? | ||
| Yeah, like sitcoms and shit. | ||
| But dude, his stand-up's out of control. | ||
| So he came with us too. | ||
| Oh, he's super nice. | ||
| Dude, he's the best. | ||
| He's really nice. | ||
| So is a little Josh Martin. | ||
| Josh is fucking hilarious too. | ||
| I love Josh. | ||
| Santino's fucking amazing. | ||
| It was a killer show. | ||
| We did two shows of the improv. | ||
| We're doing more of those too. | ||
| Ian's a fucking killer. | ||
| He's a killer too. | ||
| But he's a writer too. | ||
| Yep, same deal. | ||
| Same deal. | ||
| And I try to talk to him about it too. | ||
| Ian's been on the road with me for years and years. | ||
| He opened for me when I did Triggered. | ||
| I've taken him on the road for years. | ||
| He's also the nicest guy in the world. | ||
| He's so nice to me. | ||
| The nicest guy. | ||
| So is Santino. | ||
| Santino's a nice guy. | ||
| He's a man's man. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| I have a close bond with him. | ||
| Shout out to Cheeto. | ||
| You know who I podcast Tiger Bell I did with Bobby Lee? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I told him, I said, you owe it. | ||
| You owe it to come and do a fucking special, man. | ||
| At least 30 minutes. | ||
| And he goes, I think that's why Rogan won't have me on. | ||
| He's disappointing me. | ||
| I went, I just think you need to get your shit together and do a special, man. | ||
| First of all, that's not true that I won't have him on. | ||
| Every time I say, do you want to come on my podcast? | ||
| He runs away. | ||
| He's sleeping. | ||
| He gets panicky. | ||
| Well, he doesn't wake up until 1. But he gets panicky. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| He's a great dude. | ||
| He's got stuff in his head that shouldn't be in there. | ||
| He's also smart, dude. | ||
| He has a lot to say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I love Bobby Lee. | ||
| He'd be great on here. | ||
| Dude, I've been friends with Bobby Lee since 96. He's been on comedy for a hot second. | ||
| Known that dude forever. | ||
| He probably just started doing comedy then. | ||
| He almost got me killed at a strip club in San Diego. | ||
| That's where he started. | ||
| Mexican gangbangers with tattoos on their face and long black hair. | ||
| Bobby Lee's trying to tell their girlfriend to give him a lap dance. | ||
| And I had to grab him and drag him the fuck out of here. | ||
| I'm like, listen to me, Bobby. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Those guys are serious. | ||
| We gotta get the fuck out of here now. | ||
| And he's like, fuck, those guys ain't gonna do shit. | ||
| I'm like, I will fucking leave you here. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going. | ||
| I jumped in my super turbo and we fucking hauled ass out of there. | ||
| And Bobby leaves in the backseat. | ||
| I was like, Bobby, shut the fuck up. | ||
| They were gonna kill you. | ||
| You have no idea. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| There's certain dudes, you looked them in the eye and you go, oh, this guy's for real. | ||
| They got the eyes of a great white shark. | ||
| Yeah, and like, look, I'm not the most street-smart dude. | ||
| I'm not saying that, but... | ||
| I can read a room, though. | ||
| I can read Predators. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I've been around a lot of fucking stone-cold killers in my life, and I saw that guy, and I was like, oh, okay, sir, I'm gonna just take my little friend and stuff him in the backseat of my fucking Japanese car and peel out of here. | ||
| Is it Toyota Supra? | ||
| Yeah, dude, it was scary. | ||
| Bobby was so ridiculous. | ||
| He's like, you're not going to do shit. | ||
| I'm like, Jesus Christ! | ||
| I was like, get in the fucking car, man! | ||
| Come on! | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| We've got to get out of here. | ||
| That was my introduction to Bobby Lee. | ||
| Because he was working at the La Jolla Comedy Store. | ||
| I was going to say, he was a dork guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| That's how he started. | ||
| I don't even remember how we wound up at that fucking strip club. | ||
| Because, like, all I remember was, like, the world zoomed in. | ||
| Like, I was looking at it through a toilet paper roll. | ||
| And I'm looking at this Mexican gangbanger who stood up with his hands out there like this. | ||
| And Bobby Lee is acting like it's not a big deal. | ||
| And I'm like, oh, my God, we're gonna die. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| It was like that, just moments where you're like, you almost get hit by a car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Like, that's what it felt like. | ||
| I was like, oh my god, Bobby. | ||
| Like, that guy's a real criminal. | ||
| Like, we gotta get out of here! | ||
| And his girl was one of the dancers, and Bobby was apparently trying to get his girl to give him a lap dance. | ||
| We ran out of there, man. | ||
| We fucking hauled ass. | ||
| I drove very fast and I got off the first exit and I turned around and went back the other way just in case someone was following me. | ||
| I was making sure no one was following me. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I was like, this is real, Bobby. | ||
| Bobby's hilarious. | ||
| We're talking about La Jolla Comedy Club. | ||
| I was telling him how special this to me is. | ||
| It's quite close. | ||
| And I was talking about staying in the condo. | ||
| And I go, oh, it was great because they've redone it and Jim Carrey stayed there and he's my hero. | ||
| So for me especially, he goes, man, I wish I had the same kind of admiration for that comedy store La Jolla condo. | ||
| He goes, because when I was there, I forget the comic's name, it's some gay comic. | ||
| He goes, they used to take like 14 dudes back there and run trains and come all over the walls. | ||
| He goes, that's why the walls were blue for a long time. | ||
| I went... | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| Jesus Christ, Bobby. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| It's a lot of adding to that. | ||
| Maybe there's just one guy busting a nut on the wall. | ||
| A few guys came in. | ||
| You know gay dudes in San Diego running trains? | ||
| It's not that far-fetched. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Do you know who the Hodge twins are? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know who those guys are? | ||
| Bodybuild.com, yeah. | ||
| They have a fucking... | ||
| They were reading an article about men getting pregnant. | ||
| Like that women aren't the only ones who can get pregnant. | ||
| Oh, hell no. | ||
| Because the way they talk, you know the way they talk? | ||
| They're big old jack dudes. | ||
| I've had them on the podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're great. | |
| Have you? | ||
| And they get seriously amped up. | ||
| They were talking about busting a nut inside a dude's ass that you cannot get him pregnant no matter how deep you go in that man's anus. | ||
| And they're the same? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, yeah, they talk fucking like dudes, dudes. | |
| Because people are saying some crazy shit. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| That's a crazy shit to say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. | |
| Yes. | ||
| This is a real argument. | ||
| You know, Yale started putting tampons, dispensers, in the men's room because they said not everyone who menstruates is a woman. | ||
| Hi. | ||
| My son ain't going to Yale. | ||
| Hi, welcome to the Upside Down world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Did you ever watch Stranger Things? | ||
| I feel like I'm too drunk for this. | ||
| What? | ||
| You ever watch Stranger Things? | ||
| Yeah, fuck yeah, I love that. | ||
| Season 3 coming. | ||
| The world is upside down right now. | ||
| That's what's happening. | ||
| That's so disappointing. | ||
| We flipped over to the other side. | ||
| People are getting, they're so progressive, they're literally denying science for feelings. | ||
| Do you feel like a woman? | ||
| Then you're a woman. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| I get her to identify as a woman. | ||
| Do you feel like a man? | ||
| Well, then you're a man. | ||
| And you're pregnant? | ||
| Amazing, man. | ||
| Bro, congratulations. | ||
| You're going to make the best mom, dad, whatever the fuck you are ever. | ||
| Dad, mom. | ||
| These dudes are coming in dudes' asses. | ||
| It's a funny little thing that they did. | ||
| Did you find it? | ||
| I was looking for it and I stumbled across something else they just talked about, which you were just talking about. | ||
| They're all over YouTube. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Meet the formerly transgender man who now identifies as a genderless alien. | ||
| Oh yeah, I've seen that. | ||
| Dude, we showed that guy before. | ||
| His surgery and shit. | ||
| He thinks he's an alien? | ||
| He's had a bunch of surgery to look like an alien. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| Just don't force it on me that I have to, if I fuck him, call you a him. | ||
| Yeah, I say congratulations to them. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| Congratulations, you've made it. | ||
| Yeah, congrats, man. | ||
| Look, a lot of people want to be special, but they don't want to work for it. | ||
| And the problem with that is you get that kind of shit. | ||
| You get people that are pretending to be something super special. | ||
| So they get attention. | ||
| So they get attention. | ||
| And you're not doing anything. | ||
| And there's nothing there. | ||
| You know, what I really love, I had Eddie Izzard on, who's probably one of the most famous transgender people ever. | ||
| I didn't know he was transgender. | ||
| I saw your picture. | ||
| Just decided that's what he likes. | ||
| And once you get past that and just talk to him, he's amazing. | ||
| Human's a human, man. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| What I care is when you say crazy things. | ||
| Like, men can get pregnant. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| Have you had Kristen Beck on? | ||
| The Navy SEAL? Not yet. | ||
| No. | ||
| And was running for governor? | ||
| I don't know what she's doing now, but Cal and I went to lunch with her afterwards. | ||
| Normal shit, man. | ||
| Normal. | ||
| Also talks like... | ||
| Like, oh, when you were in battle, this, and just talks like a fucking human. | ||
| Like a human. | ||
| I didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All right, you want to wear a dress? | ||
| Yeah, everyone's looking at you because you've got the physique of me and you've got a fucking miniskirt on. | ||
| All right, whatever. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| Once you get used to it, like, you're used to the way people dress, period. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're used to everything, you know? | ||
| It's just nonsense. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| Like, I don't care. | ||
| As long as you're not hurting me. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| Or hurting someone else. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Or pushing it on me. | ||
| Yeah, I don't care. | ||
| Yeah, don't push it on me. | ||
| Did Eddie Izzard say what? | ||
| Like, he always felt like that? | ||
| This is it. | ||
| Man can have babies now. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| They're hilarious, by the way. | ||
| Look at how angry she is. | ||
| Shout out to the Hodgson. | ||
| Look at the guy at the back. | ||
| Play this, Jamie. | ||
| Can we play it or we get pulled? | ||
| We'll probably get pulled. | ||
| It's on Twitter. | ||
| We'll get pulled. | ||
| No, no, no, it's their show. | ||
| Can we hear the volume? | ||
| Can we hear the audio, though? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| We'll just tell people what is the... | ||
| It just says men can have babies now, and it's on Twitter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I couldn't find it on their YouTube, but it's on Twitter. | |
| Can we hear it? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, bro, copyright law is no joke on YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're not live, though, right? | |
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| We'd have to edit it out later. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Haters. | |
| Haters. | ||
| Look, YouTube's in a weird place right now in terms of copyright. | ||
| We've gotten claims on us for watching something on a screen in the background. | ||
| Like you see a picture in a picture and you don't even hear it. | ||
| And they want all the ad revenue for the entire show. | ||
| Dude, how about the... | ||
| Oh, gee, that's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's hilarious. | |
| How about when the combine guy, we're talking about his dick, that got flagged. | ||
| When I was like, oh, you see his dick popped out? | ||
| Tagged for nudity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| And you'd have to pause it and just go frame by frame and go, is that the dick? | ||
| It's kind of pixelated and it's on there for half a second. | ||
| You don't even know what you're looking at if I don't tell you. | ||
| Well... | ||
| What YouTube is doing is making a boatload of cash. | ||
| They know what they're doing. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| They just don't want anything to get in the way. | ||
| They run the world. | ||
| Well, between Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram, Facebook owns Instagram. | ||
| No, they all own the world. | ||
| Look, Facebook is changing elections. | ||
| Facebook is influencing the way the world votes. | ||
| Do you hear what they're going to start doing with, I think it's Instagram. | ||
| They're going to start, you can as the user, your owner of your own page, but the rest of the world can't see your followers and likes. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Because kids in high school, and I can, with a three-year-old son, it's a scary world with social media. | ||
| I'm sure with your daughters you can understand is people, suicide, especially in teenage girls, has never been higher because they're putting so much, so much ways on their social media. | ||
| So how many followers, how many likes they get. | ||
| So if you get rid of that, it might help. | ||
| Well, you know, they're reaching the same kind of people that we're talking about. | ||
| We're talking about haters, but they're reaching it like local, like they're friends. | ||
| And people from school, they're shitting on each other, being mean to each other, and they don't understand what that does to a person yet. | ||
| They don't have compassion the way a grown adult has, where they understand, they have perspective, they understand what kind of emotional influence it's going to have on a person when you shit on them like that. | ||
| I've seen it happen, man. | ||
| It's not pretty. | ||
| But also, like, when you and I were bullied, Especially you back in the day when you were bullied. | ||
| You could go home. | ||
| You'd think about it, but you didn't have to constantly get it. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| Now, if your daughter's bullied at school, well, she goes home at 3 o'clock. | ||
| And now it's on social media. | ||
| And then they gang up. | ||
| And then this person from another school gangs up. | ||
| And this person from Ohio gangs up. | ||
| And then they're all fucking... | ||
| Making fun of her. | ||
| I've seen them play little games with each other, too. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird watching kids play little emotional head games with each other. | ||
| I was like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| People are button pushers, right? | ||
| They see a button, they push it. | ||
| They want to see what it does. | ||
| They find out it does something, they want to push it again, make it do that thing again. | ||
| When you find out you can make someone upset, you press their buttons. | ||
| There's girlfriends that do that, boyfriends that do that, friends, lovers, family members. | ||
| People press buttons. | ||
| I've had family members that would do that. | ||
| They would just press buttons just to fuck with you, and I... But even on social media, it's like people can press buttons if you let them know that that button gets to you, right? | ||
| I never punch down. | ||
| So if it's a guy with an egg for an avatar, someone I don't know, I never, ever, very rarely I'll punch down or comment back. | ||
| Never. | ||
| That's what they want, right? | ||
| What's interesting to me is it affects people like Kevin Durant. | ||
| on planet earth and he just got in a twitter war with just like he's been known to have fake accounts burner accounts defending himself online he got caught doing that he this this um this guy who works a commentator an analyst for fox was like oh critiquing him he started firing back at him then another guy like a troll with 55 followers talk shit to him he fires back What are you doing? | ||
| But here's the message. | ||
| When I see all that, I'm like, God, what the fuck is he doing? | ||
| I'm like, holy fuck. | ||
| If Kevin Durant, who's worth $600 million, the best basketball player on planet Earth, if it affects him, what do you think a 13-year-old girl with body issues is feeling like? | ||
| That's what's scary. | ||
| Or boy. | ||
| Boy or girl? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| The suicide with teenage girls is a lot higher. | ||
| Have you ever read Jonathan Haidt's books on that? | ||
| Jonathan Haidt, he's been on my podcast. | ||
| Callan knows him. | ||
| Maybe Callan talked to him too, I believe. | ||
| But he wrote a book called The Coddling of the American Mind. | ||
| And part of the book was about the influence of social media and what's happening to kids. | ||
| A couple years ago? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Maybe a year ago? | ||
| Okay, so pretty recent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because you just have to be up to date to get this shit. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He's brilliant. | ||
| I really enjoy talking to him. | ||
| It's one of those things where you go, yeah, this is nothing that we're designed for. | ||
| It's not normal. | ||
| You know, when girls talk shit about you across the, you know, like you see them across the breezeway, like you're walking to your classroom, they're over there, and they're talking shit about you, like, fuck those bitches. | ||
| But if they're saying it online... | ||
| And you read it on a Facebook page. | ||
| Her ankles are fat. | ||
| Fucking loser. | ||
| Get that nose job, LOL. And kids will do shit like that to each other. | ||
| Get that nose job, LOL. Yeah. | ||
| Kids will do shit like that to each other. | ||
| But if you read it, now all of a sudden it impacts you. | ||
| It hits you in a way that it doesn't hit you if you see them talking shit. | ||
| If I see some dudes talking shit about me and they're over there, I'm like, yeah, are you really talking shit? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You feel good? | ||
| Feel good insulting people? | ||
| You fucking losers? | ||
| Concentrate on your own life. | ||
| Get your shit together. | ||
| What about online? | ||
| You've never read a comment? | ||
| No, I've read comments before, but I don't read them anymore because of that. | ||
| Did it affect you? | ||
| It affected me when I first started being on the internet. | ||
| But over the course of my being on the internet, I've learned how to not emotionally engage with shit. | ||
| Well, you just learn what that is. | ||
| I know what people are. | ||
| Like, if I've done something that was poor and it wasn't good and someone said, that sucked, it burns. | ||
| But you know why it burns? | ||
| Because they're right. | ||
| Because it's true, yeah. | ||
| Because they're right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When that happens, that's an opportunity to get better. | ||
| That's what that is. | ||
| That's an opportunity to look at yourself, to reassess, start from scratch. | ||
| Just look at it with fresh, renewed vigor and understanding that the negative consequences of failing or doing poorly or, you know, just not putting enough attention into something you're concentrating on. | ||
| That's very rare for you, though. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Like, lately, you're not... | ||
| I'm sure... | ||
| What's the last thing you did that you got negative... | ||
| But it doesn't matter. | ||
| That's how I looked at it. | ||
| But that's one of the reasons why, because I'm always tweaking it like that. | ||
| And I'll have sets that are off, and a lot of the times it's sets that are off because I'm experimenting with shit. | ||
| I'm moving stuff around. | ||
| That doesn't matter, though. | ||
| But it does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| I don't like it. | ||
| You don't like when people go... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| When I don't do well. | ||
| I'm not listening to what other people are saying. | ||
| I'm my own worst critic. | ||
| You have to be. | ||
| Yeah, so... | ||
| The bottom line is if they're wrong, like if someone says something and they're wrong, it's like, I don't care. | ||
| It doesn't bother me if you say mean things and you're wrong. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| But if you're right, I care. | ||
| And the reason why I care is because I haven't done a good job. | ||
| So I care more about what I've failed at than the person's opinions. | ||
| You can't be all invested in people's opinions of people you don't know because everyone's words look the same when they're typed out. | ||
| If there was an intelligence quotient, an emotional intelligence, a social intelligence, if you could find out how disturbed somebody was by their text just looking at it, you'd get a better understanding of whether or not you should listen to this person's opinion. | ||
| But when you just look at text, it could be... | ||
| It's very black and white. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it could be Cornel West wrote that, or it could be fucking Richard Spencer wrote it. | ||
| It's just words. | ||
| You don't convey who the person is from those words. | ||
| It's very difficult. | ||
| So, someone can say something insulting or shitty to you designed to try to get you. | ||
| They're just trying to hope to get you. | ||
| Why do you think it's such... | ||
| You get it? | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| I do get it, because they're helpless. | ||
| They're helpless. | ||
| So that's why there's so much negativity on social media? | ||
| That's part of the reason why. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There should be a positive atmosphere for some... | ||
| Yeah, but you're positive. | ||
| You have a fucking Ferrari. | ||
| You live in a mansion. | ||
| It's easy. | ||
| You're a handsome guy. | ||
| You're 10 feet tall. | ||
| It's all good things. | ||
| Got a giant dick right here. | ||
| Got big dick energy. | ||
| It's all right. | ||
| All these things are fun. | ||
| But also worked for it. | ||
| You didn't work for that dick. | ||
| I was born with this thing. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| You work for some things. | ||
| I'm sure it is. | ||
| Poor boy. | ||
| You've had many good breaks. | ||
| Some people have had none. | ||
| Some people have had none. | ||
| And they also have a phone, and they have a Twitter account, and they're like, fuck you. | ||
| Fuck you and your Ferrari. | ||
| Fuck you and your mansion. | ||
| Fuck you and everything you stand for. | ||
| Because they can't see a real path. | ||
| Like, if you're standing there... | ||
| But that's why they're a loser. | ||
| Because you're getting online and you're spewing out hate because you're not happy with your life. | ||
| Or they're 17. Like, they don't get it yet. | ||
| Let's say they're not 17. But there's a lot of that. | ||
| Or they're 17. They used to be a loser at 17. Now they're 27 and nothing's gotten much better. | ||
| There's a lot of that. | ||
| And do you think going on Instagram and shitting on someone who's successful is going to get you to where you want to go? | ||
| No, unless you're really funny. | ||
| There are people that just... | ||
| We still have a section where we read off the people roasting us. | ||
| We read it back and forth to each other. | ||
| Some people are good. | ||
| Some people are hilarious. | ||
| Most are awful. | ||
| There's people that have formulated a comedy career from dunking on folks online. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, but that would be the minority, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like Jenny Johnson. | |
| Jenny Johnson high five? | ||
| That'd be the minority, though, yeah? | ||
| Yeah, but if you're a good writer... | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| The world is not... | ||
| It's like good ideas and good writing and being funny is not exclusive to professionals. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there who are really funny who never figure out a way to do it. | ||
| Capitalize on it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, dude, when I was a fucking open-miker, when I was first starting out, I worked for a guy named Dave Dolan. | ||
| He's dead now. | ||
| He's a private investigator. | ||
| To this day, one of the funniest fucking dudes I've ever met in my life. | ||
| We used to call him Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. | ||
| He was an animal. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Dynamite Dickless Dave. | ||
| Triple D. He died a few years back, but he's one of the rare people that I save his voicemails. | ||
| You know how you save people's voicemails? | ||
| I used to. | ||
| Like, after they're dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he's one of those guys I'm never fucking deleting. | ||
| How'd he pass away? | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| I can't wait for this. | ||
| Dickless Dave here. | ||
| How Boston is that? | ||
| It's hard to hear it because I can't put it on speaker. | ||
| Dickless Dave here. | ||
| Why does it not go on speaker? | ||
| What did he pass away from? | ||
| He got cancer. | ||
| Chairman Joe, Dickless Dave here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe, you're a comedy star. | |
| He's so busted. | ||
| He left me this long, sweet email or voicemail. | ||
| But I never delete that. | ||
| I love that guy forever. | ||
| But when we were friends, when he was alive, I always said, why don't you do comedy? | ||
| Why the fuck are you not a comedian? | ||
| He was one of the funniest human beings, like Joey Diaz-level funny. | ||
| Why did he do it? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| He just didn't have the balls? | ||
| Like being a private investigator. | ||
| Like busting people. | ||
| He got a kick out of it. | ||
| It was a game for him. | ||
| That works for him then. | ||
| And his cousin, rather, was Billy Downs. | ||
| And Billy Downs owned the Comedy Connection. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| So he had an in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was easier than for most people. | ||
| When I started working for him, I had no idea that he was Billy Downs' cousin. | ||
| I responded to an ad in a newspaper where a private investigator needed an assistant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And I was like, what a great job. | ||
| As you're trying to be a comedian, be a private investigator's assistant, it's going to be awesome. | ||
| But what he really needed was a driver. | ||
| He lost his license from driving while intoxicated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This guy's awesome. | ||
| He was the best! | ||
| But he quit. | ||
| He quit booze fucking cold turkey right then and there. | ||
| Didn't go to meetings, didn't do any of that shit. | ||
| Just quit. | ||
| Gangster. | ||
| Oh man, he was a beautiful person. | ||
| But he was one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. | ||
| That guy, if he had Twitter, and he just wanted to dunk on people, he would have been fucking you up, man. | ||
| He would have read his shit and fallen on the ground laughing. | ||
| He was just funny. | ||
| Funny people are just funny. | ||
| Funny is not exclusive to professionals. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| Well, you are or you aren't. | ||
| You can cultivate it. | ||
| I know some comedians that weren't that good, and they got way, way, way, way better. | ||
| But I'm sure they were... | ||
| But being a comedian and also being funny in person is a little bit different. | ||
| It's different, yeah. | ||
| Some people are just funny. | ||
| Like Richard Jenny, who's, in my mind, one of the best comedians of all time. | ||
| He was always real somber in person. | ||
| Pretty serious. | ||
| He was depressed, which is why he killed himself. | ||
| Just wasn't happy. | ||
| Just wasn't uncomfortable in his own skin. | ||
| And there's comedians like that now, even at the stores. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Where you meet them, you're like, oh, wow, you're very serious. | ||
| How about Brody? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Brody. | ||
| He wasn't that serious. | ||
| At least around me, the few times when I was around him, he was fun. | ||
| He would get dark. | ||
| He would get dark. | ||
| I didn't know him that well enough. | ||
| I'm not going to pretend I did. | ||
| He would get sad. | ||
| He was always very cool. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I think guys like you and I, one thing, especially coming from athletics, coming from martial arts, you're more likely to suck it up, and you're more likely to not give in to the negative demons, and you're also more likely to exercise regularly. | ||
| So when you see someone who's struggling with something they shouldn't be struggling with, you're like, but you're good. | ||
| It's frustrating. | ||
| Hey, you're good, though. | ||
| No, it's frustrating for me. | ||
| Why are you bummed out? | ||
| You're fucking, you're really good. | ||
| Like, if you are doing really good as a comic, you know, you'll call me up and you'll say, bro, I fucking killed tonight. | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| I had such a great time. | ||
| I'm like, that's great. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not bragging. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| It's happiness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's happiness. | ||
| I tell you because I know you relate to it. | ||
| So Brody, who was a murderer, you could never say he was great. | ||
| You could never say, like, Brody, you fucking kill me. | ||
| He would skirt around like, Rogan, always supportive. | ||
| Rogan, always got my back. | ||
| He would always deflect it. | ||
| I don't think he wanted to... | ||
| I don't think he wanted to accept the fact that people loved him. | ||
| Like when, you know, when he would have a great set, it would almost like, it wouldn't elevate him. | ||
| Like some guys get off stage, like Hinchcliffe. | ||
| Hinchcliffe will murder, he'll get off stage, he'll be like, whoo! | ||
| Yeah, you'll know. | ||
| He'll come in the green room, his eyes will be giant, he'll high-five everybody. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| He's feeling it, you know? | ||
| But, Brody didn't get like that. | ||
| I'm not saying Theo's the same in any regards to what Brody was suffering with, but Theo has his demons, whatever. | ||
| It's out there. | ||
| I'm not outing. | ||
| Theo's the same way where he'll do a set, and I'm like, dude, that's one of the best things I've ever seen, man. | ||
| I'm like, get the fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop. | |
| Get the fuck. | ||
| I'm like, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's so good, dude. | ||
| It's a version of it. | ||
| I mean, Theo's got his own version. | ||
| It's not as extreme as Brody's. | ||
| Everyone has their monsters. | ||
| Yeah, but a guy like you or me, you're goal-oriented. | ||
| You're trying to get better at things. | ||
| You see things. | ||
| That's how you got good at jiu-jitsu. | ||
| That's how you got good at fighting. | ||
| That's how you got good at comedy. | ||
| Everything you want to get good at, you get good at by focusing on it and setting goals and trying to get better and better. | ||
| And when you do get better, you celebrate. | ||
| You enjoy it. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's exciting. | ||
| Some people don't get that feeling, man. | ||
| They don't ever get those highs. | ||
| Those highs just don't exist. | ||
| And for me... | ||
| You know, what gets me more than anything now is new stuff. | ||
| What gets me more than anything is creations. | ||
| Like those little things you come up with. | ||
| Those nuggets. | ||
| Like if you do Jeremiah Watkins' show, and I'll walk away, I go, oh fuck. | ||
| I'll come in the back and go, dude, I wrote down what I killed. | ||
| I'm like, oh my god. | ||
| You're recording, right? | ||
| You record? | ||
| And I go, I can run with that. | ||
| He goes, there's something there. | ||
| Then I'll walk away on like the highest high, man. | ||
| It's amazing, those shows. | ||
| You know what's interesting, hanging around you as much as I have, is you're serious, but you and I are more similar than me or Delia or me and Callan. | ||
| Callan and Delia are so silly all the time. | ||
| Delia might be funnier offstage. | ||
| He's amazing onstage, but he's so funny offstage. | ||
| Brian's so funny offstage, where they're constantly on. | ||
| They get around, they mess around all the time, and you don't have to be that way. | ||
| I thought for the longest I had to... | ||
| Act that way. | ||
| Because I hung out with Brian and Counton and Delia so much. | ||
| I just want to chill and do my set and then talk about cars or whatever and get the fuck out of it. | ||
| Be myself. | ||
| I'm not them. | ||
| I don't want to have to be on and fuck around. | ||
| I don't like to fuck around all the time. | ||
| Well, Delia and Counton, they avoid real conversations. | ||
| They don't talk. | ||
| They just fake insult each other. | ||
| Yeah, they just insult each other. | ||
| Where I'm like, alright, well, what else, man? | ||
| How's life? | ||
| Callan got boxing mitts made that have Galea's face on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fake. | |
| Someone put those on there. | ||
| Someone put it on the Photoshop? | ||
| Yeah, someone put those on there. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| He did a great job. | ||
| It's hilarious, though. | ||
| I thought he actually had mitts made up. | ||
| I was like, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, someone fucked with him. | ||
| But those guys, that's who they are. | ||
| Callan, if it's a room of three or thirty, he's going to entertain him. | ||
| He's the clown. | ||
| That's why I took him hunting. | ||
| That's not me, man. | ||
| That's not what I want to do. | ||
| I want to talk to you, ask about your family, and then go on stage and be funny. | ||
| Yeah, look at him there. | ||
| Look at Bryant Count throwing punches. | ||
| Like a guy who's never been punched. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's going to be so pissed he said that. | |
| Oh, maybe those are real. | ||
| That looks pretty real. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| That looks pretty goddamn real. | ||
| You're right, brother. | ||
| There's no way it can be fake. | ||
| Whenever I see Cal Hinton myths, I fast forward. | ||
| I go to the next page. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He's so silly. | ||
| He's so silly. | ||
| How's he getting into boxing at 80 years old? | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| And he keeps telling me his shoulders are fine. | ||
| I'm like, well, why are you punching so slow then? | ||
| If your shoulders are fine, what is wrong? | ||
| Are you in a room with thick air? | ||
| He's obsessed with it. | ||
| Are you fighting at high altitude all the time, Cal? | ||
| The altitude, if there's no altitude, at least your hands would move quicker. | ||
| That's real, do you know that? | ||
| That's with ballistics, with archery. | ||
| You shoot high, at high altitude. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yes, because there's less drag. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| There's less air. | ||
| Why is his hands moving so slow? | ||
| He's going to be so sad. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| He's been boxing with private lessons for a while. | ||
| He goes, Wayne thinks I could probably fight pro. | ||
| I went, Callan, stop. | ||
| I went, Callan, you're paying that man money. | ||
| Don't talk to me. | ||
| I love Wayne. | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| I said, you're 50-something years old, and you're paying that man money. | ||
| So if you went, Callen, you look terrible, you're going to go, well, you're the one coaching me. | ||
| So of course, and I went, let me ask you something. | ||
| You play tennis, right? | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| I went, you hit with a pro, right? | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| I went, you pay him, right? | ||
| I go, has he ever told you he thinks you can maybe compete? | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| I went, that's what they do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they got to show progress and hype you up. | ||
| Otherwise, if he's like, dude, you're awful. | ||
| Never fight again. | ||
| You're not going to keep paying him. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Isn't it great, though? | ||
| That's Calen. | ||
| That's Calen in a nutshell, though. | ||
| Isn't it great? | ||
| People that do that, that coach you, that blow smoke up your ass. | ||
| You've got to be super careful of those. | ||
| Super careful. | ||
| One of any students had this guy who was a jiu-jitsu guy, and he was fighting in the UFC, and his Muay Thai coach was like, he's Bangkok ready. | ||
| And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| As a striker, I was like, No, he's not. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| Like, they blow smoke. | ||
| They get a fat one of these Tommy Chong joints. | ||
| That's a firecracker. | ||
| Look at this joint. | ||
| That's a firecracker from Tommy Chong. | ||
| And they stuff this in your asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now... | |
| They blow that smoke deep in your ass. | ||
| Because you're like this on the other end. | ||
| And you start believing it, man. | ||
| You start believing, I'm going to go to Bangkok and fuck those dudes up. | ||
| I always told Eddie he should make a shirt that says Bangkok ready. | ||
| I think he did. | ||
| Did he make it? | ||
| Somebody made a shirt that said, you remember that story? | ||
| You remember that. | ||
| Fascinating story. | ||
| Bro, I was there. | ||
| I was in the locker room and he said he's Bangkok ready. | ||
| There's not a better term ever. | ||
| Well, it's not a better term ever, especially when you know the guy's not an elite striker. | ||
| That's the best part about it. | ||
| Are you Bangkok ready? | ||
| Yeah, I'd watch him kick the bag and I'd be like, oh no. | ||
| You better take this guy down. | ||
| Take this guy down and get your strangle on, son. | ||
| Get your strangle. | ||
| So we should have told Sage wasn't Bangkok ready. | ||
| Sage was not one championship ready. | ||
| Sage, you know, he's an alpha male now, right? | ||
| Is he still there? | ||
| I believe so. | ||
| Who left Alpha Male recently? | ||
| Did Lance Palmer leave? | ||
| I think Lance Palmer went to Mark Henry. | ||
| Who's the chick? | ||
| The badass. | ||
| Cynthia... | ||
| Calvillo? | ||
| Yeah, she left. | ||
| Where'd she go? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Almost positive she left. | ||
| She's a badass. | ||
| You know, I mean... | ||
| I don't know what they're doing over there, so I can't really comment. | ||
| I don't either. | ||
| But I do know that when Bang Ludwig was there, they were making some giant-ass fucking progress. | ||
| Everybody started moving better. | ||
| Everybody started putting together combinations better. | ||
| Look, you need a head coach. | ||
| Fighters need a head coach. | ||
| And even then, you might not win, right? | ||
| No, it's tough enough. | ||
| You need a head coach. | ||
| You need a beast. | ||
| Look, if I was competing, really, if I was a young man and I was thinking about fighting in MMA, I'd probably move to Montreal. | ||
| I go to Montreal or... | ||
| I was talking to Dustin about this. | ||
| ATT, there's so many guys, especially guys in the UFC. They get there and they're the big swinging dicks at their small gym. | ||
| They come to ATT and they're expecting the same attention. | ||
| Two problems with South Florida. | ||
| Pussy and pussy. | ||
| And cocaine. | ||
| I've never tried it. | ||
| Me neither. | ||
| I've never done it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I said that. | |
| Brazilian. | ||
| Spanish. | ||
| Cuban. | ||
| I'd say that's a reason to go down there. | ||
| Bro, your dick is going to be hard every time the wind blows. | ||
| You're going to be excited, and you're not going to be focusing, and you're going to get cracked. | ||
| Yeah, so maybe New Mexico, huh? | ||
| Montreal has hot-ass girls. | ||
| The other thing about, this is, I really believe, about some camps can have too many killers, and you can get fucked up as you're trying to learn and grow, and you never have enough guys that you can practice on. | ||
| I think A.K.A., because they're so tough, they've injured each other. | ||
| Oh, they're animals. | ||
| They guys just get fucked up. | ||
| If I wanted to learn how to wrestle, and I wanted to be a better wrestler. | ||
| If I'm Francis Ngannou, I moved A.K.A. I agree. | ||
| Because DC has one fighting and Steve Bay left. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's on his way out. | ||
| Kane's there. | ||
| You already beat him. | ||
| Go there, dude. | ||
| That's what I say. | ||
| That's what I say. | ||
| Yeah, he's playing grab-ass in France. | ||
| Well, because he's fucking striking. | ||
| The power he has. | ||
| It's like such a fucking checkmate weapon that no matter what anybody does, you're always ready for checkmate. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| It's like Wilder. | ||
| That kind of ridiculous power. | ||
| You're always ready for checkmate. | ||
| You're always ready. | ||
| Wilder's is even more impressive than Francis. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| That is amazing. | ||
| Francis has to cut to 265. Mark my motherfucking words. | ||
| If Francis Ngannou decides to jump ship and go heavyweight boxing... | ||
| Careful! | ||
| Where are you going with this? | ||
| He will nuke some fools. | ||
| Nuke some fools. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not Wilder! | |
| Oh, well, it's going to take a long time to get to Wilder's level. | ||
| Wilder's a world champion. | ||
| He's undefeated. | ||
| Look, Francis Ngannou's not ready to box with Wilder right now, but let me tell you something. | ||
| He might, or he might connect. | ||
| No, come on. | ||
| Listen, Wilder's not the slickest guy in the world. | ||
| We're not talking about Muhammad Ali or Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| You're talking about Olympic-level boxing. | ||
| You are. | ||
| Well, sort of. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| A year and a half in, he was in the Olympics, but he mostly gets by on power and range. | ||
| But Olympics, Olympics. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I agree. | ||
| But he's a year and a half into boxing. | ||
| I mean, I think Francis probably could have... | ||
| He did. | ||
| No doubt about it. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| But if Francis has a problem with grappling, you think about it. | ||
| What does he not have a problem with? | ||
| Striking. | ||
| He KOs Alistair Overeem. | ||
| In the UFC. True. | ||
| True. | ||
| But Alistair Overeem is a world-class striker. | ||
| I mean, he's a kickboxer at the highest level, wins the K-1 Grand Prix. | ||
| I mean, he's knocked out Badr Hari. | ||
| He's beaten fucking Turkish Tyson. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| He's beaten some good guys. | ||
| Francis Faulkner is a little older. | ||
| And here's the other thing. | ||
| If Alistair Overeem entered the boxing ring with Deontay Wilder, he wouldn't last a minute? | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| However, maybe. | ||
| Well, if he could kick his legs, Deontay wouldn't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, boxing. | |
| I'm sorry, straight boxing. | ||
| That's what we're talking about. | ||
| But it was a Muay Thai fight. | ||
| I mean, it was an MMA fight, so he's allowed to do everything. | ||
| I know, I'm just saying, if it was straight boxing, you're talking about apples and oranges. | ||
| Right, but think about that. | ||
| If Deontay Wilder fought Alistair Overeem in an MMA fight right now, how do you think that would go? | ||
| He'd finish him in under a minute. | ||
| He'd leg kick the shit out of him. | ||
| He wouldn't even need it. | ||
| He'd take him down and choke him in three seconds. | ||
| But he couldn't do that to Francis Ngannou. | ||
| Couldn't leg kick him. | ||
| Couldn't keep him off him. | ||
| Because Francis Ngannou. | ||
| But if Alistair and Francis went to the box arena, they'd get absolutely annihilated. | ||
| I agree with you. | ||
| But the thing that's holding... | ||
| Well, unless they focused on it for as long as those guys did. | ||
| But the thing that holds back Deontay Wilder from people, like all the boxing pundits praising him, is that they think he has awkward technique. | ||
| He's wild. | ||
| But his results are spectacular. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Francis Ngannou, everybody he connects on other than Stipe, goes night-night. | ||
| Stipe's the only guy. | ||
| Stipe... | ||
| Stipe survived. | ||
| Stipe figured out how to use his championship medal and his grit and use his takedowns and won the fight. | ||
| Derek Lewis ate some shots. | ||
| It was just a terrible fight. | ||
| That fight, I don't even think that counts. | ||
| That doesn't count. | ||
| That fight is such a mess from top to bottom. | ||
| That was the worst fight maybe in the history of the fucking sport. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| They didn't throw anything. | ||
| The problem with that fight is because they're such knockout artists, you're expecting such fireworks. | ||
| Dude, it was a big disappointment. | ||
| I said to everybody, there is not a fucking way this fight can suck. | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| You can never say that because it always sucks. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Whenever you say there's not a way this fight can suck, it's going to suck. | ||
| It was so disappointing, man. | ||
| It was so disappointing. | ||
| It was, but then when he comes back and he knocks out Curtis Blades for the second time, which I thought Blades had a way better shot at him the second time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| I actually thought he would probably beat him. | ||
| Especially after the Francis Ngannou fight. | ||
| But it showed that Ngannou has really got it back together again. | ||
| And now he's fighting JDS. They moved it, though. | ||
| It was supposed to be in Vegas. | ||
| They moved it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a dangerous fight for JDS. It's a dangerous fight for both guys, really. | |
| But yeah, definitely JDS. I just think Ngannou has... | ||
| If you're going to stand in front of him, man... | ||
| He's gonna hit you with something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| He's one of those, I'm gonna hit you with something, guys. | ||
| When he beat Kane, I was like, holy fuck, dude. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Kane thought his leg blew out. | ||
| That's so bad. | ||
| He really did think that's what happened. | ||
| When you look at the replay, he clearly got hit with an uppercut. | ||
| Like a car went on. | ||
| That's all it needs. | ||
| That guy, all he needs is to touch you. | ||
| And the more he does it, the more confident he gets in it, the better. | ||
| He's only been fucking training for six years. | ||
| People need to get that in their head. | ||
| I want to see him versus John so bad. | ||
| Him versus John Jones? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do you think would happen? | ||
| I think John would take him down. | ||
| I think John smokes him. | ||
| John would take him down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| John didn't get hit. | ||
| Listen, John easily could be 240 pounds. | ||
| Easily. | ||
| I think what he's doing is he's going to clean out light heavyweight. | ||
| There's really no one there for him. | ||
| He's going to clean that out and then go to heavyweight. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Or maybe he just stays at light heavyweight and just goes down as the goat and just keeps beating the fuck out of all the contenders. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's already the goat, though. | |
| He is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's weird. | |
| DC wants that fight again at light heavyweight. | ||
| I'm like, come on, DC. Does he? | ||
| Do at least that heavyweight. | ||
| Heavyweight's the way to go. | ||
| That's an ego thing for DC. If DC gets past Stipe, which is a big if. | ||
| It's a big if. | ||
| You gotta realize, like, DC connected with that beautiful punch in the clinch, but Stipe has had over a year to stew on that. | ||
| It's been driving him fucking crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think that's a good thing. | |
| I think it's good for Stipe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't. | |
| Stipe's an animal. | ||
| I'm not worried about that. | ||
| I think he's gonna be better. | ||
| I think ring rot's an issue. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| DC's been way more active. | ||
| But Stipe's a real veteran, man. | ||
| He's a real veteran, and he's a humble dude. | ||
| He's a hard-ass. | ||
| He's not going to come in there with a lot of expectations on himself. | ||
| He's just going to do his best, I think. | ||
| I'm not worried at all about the... | ||
| I think it's a tougher fight for DC. Like, if Donald Cerrone was taking a year-plus off, and then was going to fight for the title, I'd be like, ooh, I'd like Donald to get a fight in. | ||
| God, I wish he would do that. | ||
| You and I are off on this. | ||
| I wish Donald would take a fucking break and not fight Tony in three days notice. | ||
| No, I agree with that too. | ||
| I wish he would take a break and not fight Tony in three weeks notice. | ||
| But, three weeks after his last fight. | ||
| But, when Donald fights a lot, as long as it's within reason, it's the best Donald. | ||
| That's what he wants. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He just likes to get in the groove. | ||
| He likes to stay active. | ||
| I think for Stipe... | ||
| You can't be champion and do that though. | ||
| Name someone who's done it. | ||
| Go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Name one guy. | ||
| Well, everyone's different. | ||
| I'm just going off measurements. | ||
| There's no one who's that active. | ||
| Who's ever fought the most as champion? | ||
| Who's fought the most? | ||
| The most? | ||
| Like the most active. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Who's the most active champion? | ||
| DC's pretty active at light heavyweight and heavyweight. | ||
| Pretty fucking active. | ||
| Pretty fucking active. | ||
| And I think John is trying to be really active. | ||
| I mean, think about it. | ||
| That whole division's fucked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's going to clear out all of them and dip out and leave them like the fucking Queen of the Dragons. | ||
| Okay, George St. Pierre fought 15 title bouts. | ||
| Wow, he had 15 title bouts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| Randy Couture, 15. How about Randy Couture? | ||
| But that doesn't mean active. | ||
| All these years later, still. | ||
| That could have been 15 over seven years. | ||
| That's still all those years. | ||
| Later, Randy Couture is still tied for the record of the most title fights. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Mighty Mouse right under that with 14, Anderson 13. The difference is with all those guys, you know, I mean, it's all different eras, different divisions. | ||
| I think era means everything because I think what John's doing in the current era is more impressive than what Randy or George or Anderson did. | ||
| Who do you think is a danger to John right now? | ||
| There's no one. | ||
| At light heavyweight? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No one. | ||
| Absolutely no one. | ||
| Thiago Santos, I know we've got to hype it up. | ||
| I'm like, oh, punch a chance. | ||
| Yeah, for sure, I get that. | ||
| There's no one at light heavyweight. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Johnny Walker, but he's so far removed right now, he has to get by maybe three more guys before we start being like, yeah, he might be a threat. | ||
| But he's maybe a potential. | ||
| Hope his shoulder's okay. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| If his shoulder's okay, what that guy does is crazy. | ||
| He starches people. | ||
| He starches Khalil Roundtree with an elbow in the clinch. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Vicious. | ||
| That crazy, this kind of elbow. | ||
| One of them bad boys. | ||
| Vicious. | ||
| KOs him with that, and then KOs Misha Sukarnoff with a flying knee right to the fucking chops. | ||
| Freak. | ||
| He's a freak. | ||
| But he hasn't done it like Jon has to Shogun Hua. | ||
|
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No. | |
| No comparison. | ||
| Look, there's no comparison to anyone who's ever fought in the light heavyweight division and Jon Jones. | ||
| Right now, there's no comparison. | ||
| There's no threats. | ||
| Except DC. But DC lost. | ||
| He lost twice. | ||
| DC's not a threat at light heavyweight. | ||
| DC at heavyweight? | ||
| I still think he's a threat at light heavyweight. | ||
| I think he's a threat. | ||
| Not right now. | ||
| At heavyweight, yes. | ||
| Heavyweight, he's a threat. | ||
| His power goes up. | ||
| We've seen how it works out for DC. But what if DC got more dedicated and disciplined with his diet? | ||
| So what if DC fights against Stipe and says... | ||
| So when does this Stipe fight happen? | ||
| Is it July? | ||
| July? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So what if DC says, okay, August, September... | ||
| Let's plan for New Year's Eve... | ||
| With John Jones that weekend, and he takes a week off, goes to fucking Mardi Gras, whatever the fuck he wants to do, drinks some beer. | ||
| Shout out to New Orleans. | ||
| Yeah, have some pizza, kicks back. | ||
| Yeah, for a week. | ||
| And then goes on a serious diet with a real good nutritionist who's going to check his macros, make sure he's eating healthy food. | ||
| And you think that's why he's not being John? | ||
| No, but I'm saying where he could get down to 205 healthy. | ||
| Where he doesn't have any... | ||
| Look, Daniel Cormier, if there's anything that's ever held him back, he's not the best at his diet. | ||
| But that's what makes DC great. | ||
| Well, he's one of the things that makes him great. | ||
| He's a wrestler. | ||
| He's a fantastic wrestler. | ||
| That makes him great. | ||
| He's tough as shit. | ||
| That makes him great. | ||
| His endurance is great. | ||
| Incredible mental strength. | ||
| And that could be due to his body fat. | ||
| I don't know about all that. | ||
| Some people say. | ||
| Think about the most shredded guys in the UFC. Well, I don't mean he should get shredded. | ||
| What I mean is he should make 205 with no problems, where he could go to war for five rounds with a guy like Jon Jones without weakening him. | ||
| I don't know if that's possible. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| I don't know if it's in his DNA, especially at his age. | ||
| At 40 years of age. | ||
| I think heavyweight's the way to go. | ||
| Heavyweight, his power's up. | ||
| We saw that with Stipe. | ||
| I think if he's going to connect, which he has, in the clinch against John, the power's there. | ||
| I still think he'll be an underdog, but that gap narrows, that heavyweight. | ||
| Light heavyweight, it doesn't, especially at his age. | ||
| I think it's even further apart now that John's being more active. | ||
| Well, maybe he wants to do that to prove a point. | ||
| That's my problem. | ||
| His ego, man. | ||
| Fuck light heavyweight. | ||
| At heavyweight, dude, you're the champ. | ||
| John, if he wants to have that Lexi fight, that rubber match, go there and let's see what happens. | ||
| I kind of agree with you now. | ||
| Now that I'm thinking about it, I kind of agree with you. | ||
| Especially for DC. It's like, DC, dude, if you beat John at heavyweight and you ride off in the sunset, game, set, match, best of all time to ever do it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, how about this? | ||
| Tito Ortiz right now owns Chuck Liddell, right? | ||
| Chuck Liddell smashes him two times when they're in their prime, but then Tito knocked him out. | ||
| And Chuck looked terrible. | ||
| Tito KO'd him. | ||
| It looked really bad. | ||
| And Chuck will never fight again. | ||
| And Tito will always sleep at night knowing he just fucked Chuck Liddell up. | ||
| Don't just think about those other ones. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't even think about it. | ||
| He got it back. | ||
| He got it back in a big way. | ||
| He got it back the way he wanted to. | ||
| He clipped him with a right hand, put his lights out, and then punched him a couple times when he's out. | ||
| And that's a wrap. | ||
| And for DC, it's like, even after the John loss, he went on to fucking heavyweight to knock out Stipe, who some can argue it's the best UFC heavyweight of all time. | ||
| He went on to beat Derrick Lewis, who's so dangerous. | ||
| And let's say he beat Stipe for a second time. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| You know what I was really impressed with? | ||
| I was really impressed with the way Chuck handled that loss. | ||
| Did you see the way Chuck talked about it on Instagram? | ||
| He just basically said, hey man, you put yourself out there, you go out there, you set goals, you try, and if you fail, it doesn't mean you quit. | ||
| You get back on your horse and you fucking get right back to it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I try not to be so judgmental. | ||
| He let go of all the hate and all the bullshit. | ||
| I was very impressed with him. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| And I like Chuck. | ||
| He's a good person. | ||
| If John Jones is number one, Chuck's number two, as far as great light heavyweights, he was the fucking man. | ||
| I mean, when he defined the early days of the UFC, one of the things about the UFC was like this crazy thing was like cage fighting. | ||
| And here's this guy with painted toenails and a mohawk and a head tattoo. | ||
| And he's just murking people. | ||
| Murking people. | ||
| Biggest, like, was like the first big, big star in our sport to transcend and go on to entourage and have commercials and doing those fucking automotive commercials. | ||
| Lived like a rock star, too. | ||
| I mean, that dude went hard. | ||
|
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Where do you stand like that? | |
| Do you remember that one interview that he did? | ||
| Where he was hammered? | ||
| He was on something. | ||
| He was on all the drugs? | ||
| He was on everything. | ||
| And he's doing morning TV. He's like, yeah, I'd like to fight the Hulk. | ||
| I wish he was real. | ||
| Isn't that great? | ||
|
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|
I love that shit. | |
| I don't remember what the fuck he said, but he was clearly on cloud nine. | ||
| Look, he's an animal, man. | ||
| Like a legit, bona fide animal. | ||
| Whose responsibility is it? | ||
| Guys like BJ Penn, who keeps losing, to find his legacy now. | ||
| A guy like Anderson Silva. | ||
| Where do you stand on letting those guys fight? | ||
| That's a very good question, man. | ||
| If you're Dana White, what do you do? | ||
| Because at the end of the day, the commissions can go, alright, physically, yeah, man, he passed the fucking physical, so we gotta let him fight. | ||
| But at the end of the day, if they don't have a resource or a job from the head man, if Dana calls BJ... Or Chuck, just like he did with Chuck. | ||
| He's like, I'm not giving you a venue to fight at. | ||
| It's not happening. | ||
| So I wonder at what point, if you're Dana, let's say you're Dana, at what point do you tell these guys to stop fighting? | ||
| Because I feel like for Anderson, although I don't remember him that way, the new generations remember him for being this guy. | ||
| For BJ, the new generation only knows him as losing. | ||
| We know him as one of the greats. | ||
| So I feel like if I'm Dana, I owe it to them to say you can't fight anymore. | ||
| I don't know if BJ is... | ||
| Capable of competing at the level that he's competing at right now when he's losing to these guys. | ||
| I don't know if he is because it doesn't seem like he's capable of it. | ||
| Well, he's lost, what, six in a row? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if I look at the BJ that I saw against Ryan Hall, up until the time he gets leg locked, he looks fucking great. | ||
| That happened fast, though, bro. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| I'm saying he looks like he's fit. | ||
| He looks like he's in shape. | ||
| He looks like he's a top fighter. | ||
| But... | ||
| He almost needs to fight a young guy coming up so we can see. | ||
| When he fights Clay Guida or he fights someone like that... | ||
| He's losing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Ryan Hawley's losing. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He's not who he used to be. | ||
| No, obviously not. | ||
| But I don't even know where his head's at. | ||
| I feel like if I'm Dana, I'm going, hey man, I'm doing you guys a solid. | ||
| You can't fight here anymore. | ||
| And now they might go on to other organizations, but it's not the UFC. So they can go on there and compete, but you're not going to tarnish your legacy at the highest level here in the UFC. Not under my watch. | ||
| So I... I couldn't do it. | ||
| I'll never pick against BJ. I would never pick against Randy Couture. | ||
| I don't have it in me. | ||
| So when BJ fights, I'm like, I'll take BJ because I refuse to pick against him. | ||
| That's how much I respect him. | ||
| But at some point, and I couldn't do it, and obviously Dana can't either. | ||
| Could you be like, hey dude, no more. | ||
| We're done. | ||
| Well, I'd have to be friends with him like I was friends with you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I mean, when Yair Rodriguez 360 roundhouse kicked him in the face, that should have been the end. | ||
| I mean, that was, you saw that and compared to BJ when BJ beat Sean Shirk. | ||
| Like, you're looking at a, this is a severely different fighter. | ||
| Whose job is it to tell them? | ||
| Family and friends, I guess? | ||
| No one's job. | ||
| You know, here's the thing, man. | ||
| We can't let the fighter decide. | ||
| Well, what is, I don't think he should be competing at the highest level of the sport. | ||
| But if he still wants to compete, who's to say he can't? | ||
| Who's to say he can't go to a small organization and fight for them? | ||
| Who's to say? | ||
| Whose choice is it, Joe? | ||
| He's not getting sparked out. | ||
| I mean, he's still conscious. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| He's getting beat, but he's not getting crushed. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| And not in all the fights, at least. | ||
| I mean, the Ryan Hall one is probably the most... | ||
| Ryan Hall's going to tear anyone's knee off, though. | ||
| I hate to tell you. | ||
| If they give him anybody, he's going to do that to your knee. | ||
| Well, he's a phenomenal grappler and a super, super intelligent guy, too. | ||
| But that was probably the kindest way for him to lose, just to get tapped real quick. | ||
| Not if you're a black belt. | ||
| Beat up like Frankie Edgar did to him. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| But I guess, again, the commission, they have a tough job because physically, we can't see into his brain, but physically he's passing all the tests. | ||
| Whose job is it to tell Bernard Hopkins not to take that last fight when he got knocked out of the fucking ring? | ||
| Whose job is it to tell Roy Jones, don't go to Russia and get knocked out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a story that's so old. | ||
|
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It repeats itself over and over and over again. | |
| That's what makes these stories so great when they're in their prime and you're watching them come up and it's so special. | ||
| But it's also what makes this sport so fucking heartbreaking. | ||
| Because you know who does do that? | ||
| The NFL and the NBA. They tell you no. | ||
| They tell you no. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And it's very black and white. | ||
| But that's because someone has to fill that position and they're not about nostalgia. | ||
| They're about who does the best job in that position. | ||
| Shouldn't the UFC be that way? | ||
| Yeah, but it's not that. | ||
| The UFC doesn't know who does the best job in that position until they set you up with somebody. | ||
| When they see you over and over and over again, then... | ||
| But the argument is he's not getting crushed. | ||
| He's not getting sparked out. | ||
| He's not getting knocked out. | ||
| He's just not as good as he used to be. | ||
| No, it's not a good argument. | ||
| But he's not as good as he used to be. | ||
| I'm not arguing. | ||
| I don't have the answer. | ||
| Why do you think he's still at the UFC? He hasn't found a passion. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because he's still a draw, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, that's a good question. | ||
| Out of respect? | ||
| Is it out of respect? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What he's done for the game. | ||
| He's earned the right to go out on his own note. | ||
| But the stakes are so high in fighting. | ||
| It's different than basketball. | ||
| I don't know whose job it's and I don't have the answer and I wish I did. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's the most heartbreaking thing in sports, I think. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And I think with BJ, if he would have found, and I don't know BJ well enough, but if he would have found a passion like I did with stand-up or podcasting or something else, he probably would have been out and never come back. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But the thrill of what he does... | ||
|
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But that's what makes BJ great. | |
| Yeah, I mean, he's a multiple-time world champion. | ||
| The thrill of BJ when he was in his prime is probably indescribable. | ||
| Like, what brings Nate Diaz back, even though he has money in the bank? | ||
| What's going to bring Conor back? | ||
| It's not money. | ||
| Those guys were born fighters. | ||
| They're natural-born fighters. | ||
| This is what they do, and that's what makes them feel alive. | ||
| So, I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, the excitement, the thrill, the fucking... | ||
| I mean, and look, we're all going to die. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| When people say you should look out for their health, well then we should stop fighting altogether. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| And stop playing football. | ||
| Yeah, stop doing everything. | ||
| And we should probably stop drinking. | ||
| And no more driving. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Driving's dangerous. | ||
| Gotta walk everywhere. | ||
| If we just walk and people get in accidents walking, they'll be fine. | ||
| They'll bump into each other. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| That would be cool. | ||
| I mean, there's a real argument for that, right? | ||
| You have a small window to experience this life. | ||
| Do it in what you want. | ||
| But yeah, with a guy like BJ Penn, the reality is there should probably be a number of fights that you lose in the UFC where you could just get cut. | ||
| It used to be three. | ||
| Was it a signed in-paper thing? | ||
| No, but man, when you've lost two, which I did, that third one, Joe Silva would tell your manager, and he told my manager Lex McMahon, he goes, you know, with this one, you know, It's probably over. | ||
| He wouldn't say that. | ||
| He'd go, we're giving him one more. | ||
| And you knew that was your shot. | ||
| If you lost, you were done. | ||
| Even if you won by decision, they wouldn't cut you. | ||
| You knew as long as you got the job done, you would extend. | ||
| I saw one of your interviews. | ||
| It was really interesting. | ||
| You were talking about if you bomb, you could always go down to improv and have a new set, redeem yourself. | ||
| But when you were fighting, if you lost, you'd have like six months. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The worst. | ||
| And just dwell on that. | ||
| And be like, no, I promise you I'm getting better. | ||
| And stand up and be like, no, I promise. | ||
| I bombed at the comic store. | ||
| I went to the improv and they laughed. | ||
| So, what's up? | ||
| What's up? | ||
| Yeah, the life of a fighter is probably the most stressful job in all of sports. | ||
| Certainly in all of entertainment. | ||
| Besides, you know, obviously when we're at war and soldiers, it's a close thing to get to Spartan. | ||
| And I do not, I don't admire it. | ||
| I feel sorry for them because I've been through it. | ||
| But That's from my perspective. | ||
| A lot of those guys, they fucking live off that, man. | ||
| Well, you're too nice. | ||
| Yeah, I'm too nice. | ||
| I felt horrible for Brazil. | ||
| I felt bad for Wilder when he got in. | ||
| I'm like, God, he's such a good dude. | ||
| I wish he would find something else to do. | ||
| I'm telling this to the Showtime guys. | ||
| I'm like, God, I hope he parlays this into something really cool after this. | ||
| He can make hundreds of millions of dollars. | ||
| I think Deontay Wilder... | ||
| He made $20 million that night. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's going to go down as one of the greatest of all time. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think he's getting better with every fight. | ||
| And I think if Joshua gets hit on the chin with one of those fucking bombs away, we can see some crazy shit. | ||
| The thing about Wilder is he knows how to take it, too. | ||
| He can take it. | ||
| He got blasted by Ortiz. | ||
| If you notice in the Brazil fight, he got caught. | ||
| He backs up. | ||
| He got blasted against Fury. | ||
| He gets hit. | ||
| He got hit in the 12th round against Fury. | ||
| That's why him and Joshua are so interesting. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Because Joshua... | ||
| Oh, he does. | ||
| He does. | ||
| And he's been hit before and dropped. | ||
| I did this interview. | ||
| Vladimir Klitschko? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Remember that fight? | ||
| And he got back off the ground. | ||
| And then starched him. | ||
| I did this interview with Fox Sports Lee Hay. | ||
| And she goes, who's the most overrated mainstream boxer? | ||
| And I answered. | ||
| I went, hmm... | ||
| I'm going to say Anthony Joshua just because I want him to hear this. | ||
| And he's like, ah, fuck that. | ||
| I'm going to fight Wilder now. | ||
| But people ran with him. | ||
| It was like, oh, he thinks Joshua's overrated. | ||
| No, I don't think Joshua. | ||
| I think Joshua's such a fucking... | ||
| He's an Olympic gold medalist. | ||
| Overrated. | ||
| No, he's beat Klitschko. | ||
|
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He's a world champion. | |
| It doesn't make sense. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| I just want him and Wilder to fight. | ||
| He's also built like a Greek god. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It might be the sexist man alive. | ||
| He might be. | ||
|
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It's fucking tough. | |
| He's jacked at like 245. Jassy. | ||
| Super shredded. | ||
| And have you heard him commentate? | ||
| Yeah, he's brilliant. | ||
| Articulate, man. | ||
| And that accent. | ||
| It's lovely. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Lovely, champ. | ||
| If I was gay, it'd be so on. | ||
| Let's go, champ. | ||
| It'd be so on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What is happening with my man, Shannon the Cannons? | ||
| Bank of the Lex... | ||
| Let's go, champ. | ||
| He's been trying to get a fight forever. | ||
| Is he still? | ||
| Yeah, he's always trying to get a fight. | ||
| Yeah, he's always trying to get a fight. | ||
| He's too old, and it's like too much of a risk. | ||
| It's a three-man horse race, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Three horsemen. | ||
| If you're not those three, no one will see you fight anybody. | ||
| Yeah, and you would have to be moving him up the line. | ||
| Nah, he's too old. | ||
| Did you hear Jim Gray after the fight? | ||
|
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|
What'd he say? | |
| He goes to Wilder, he goes, and people are booing him, because he goes, and I love it, but I also get why people are booing. | ||
| He goes... | ||
| He goes, Champ, Wilder, great performance. | ||
| He goes, I hate to tell you. | ||
| And Brazil's behind him. | ||
| He goes, no one wants to see you do this to Brazil. | ||
| No one wants to see you fight Ortiz next. | ||
| That's supposedly what was supposed to be next. | ||
| No one wants to see you fight Ortiz next. | ||
| It's either Joshua or Fury. | ||
| That's all we want to see. | ||
| When are we going to get that? | ||
| Who is booing? | ||
| The crowd? | ||
| Because Brazil got starched. | ||
| I'm like, come on, he's in the ring. | ||
| But Jim Gray, there's no offense. | ||
| So they were booing Jim Gray when he said that? | ||
| Yeah, because he asked that. | ||
| But I'm like, I've been shouting from the rooftops of my podcast saying the exact same thing. | ||
| It's hard, and I told Showtime this, it's hard to sell these fights because no one cares unless it's the ones we want to see, which is what makes the UFC so great. | ||
| You know you're going to get one versus the champ. | ||
| You know you're going to get the number two guy versus the champ. | ||
| The best are fighting the best night in, night out. | ||
| Yeah, so they got mad at Jim Gray for telling the truth? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| She's going to get mad. | ||
| That is what it is. | ||
| Jim Gray knows what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| It's also the truth. | ||
| It's the truth. | ||
| He knows what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| Look, man, I want to see Luis Ortiz. | ||
| I want to see that fight. | ||
| You want to see what? | ||
| Luis Ortiz and Wilder. | ||
| Again? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You think that should be next? | ||
| No, I'm not saying that should be next. | ||
| Look, if Joshua and Tyson Fury decide to fight and Lewis decides to fight Wilder, I'm fine with that. | ||
| You want to see it again? | ||
| I'm fine with that. | ||
| Lewis Ortiz is a beast. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| It's not the best fight, but I would watch the shit out of that fight more than Dominic Brazil. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| I would have loved to see that fight. | ||
| I would have loved to see that fight instead. | ||
| And I think they offered it to Ortiz, but I think Ortiz had an injury. | ||
| They offered it to Ortiz Joshua because Joshua's opponent tested hot. | ||
| That's June, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They offered it to him and he said no. | ||
| But this is boxing. | ||
| His manager goes, we want more money than that. | ||
| We want double. | ||
| Joshua's team went, on short notice? | ||
| No, we're giving you, I think it was five million. | ||
| He went ten. | ||
|
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|
Oh. | |
| Look, Luis Ortiz is legit, bro. | ||
| Legit. | ||
| He's a fucking cubic Olympic boxer. | ||
| We have no idea how old he is. | ||
| But dude, come on. | ||
| How badass is goddamn Deontay Wilder? | ||
| I mean, he's losing that fight. | ||
|
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|
You know how technical Ortiz is? | |
| Yes, and he cracks him, but he hits so fucking hard. | ||
| So does Ortiz. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's what's amazing. | ||
| No, he does not. | ||
| Ortiz is a killer, dude. | ||
| He's a killer, but he is not a killer the way Deontay Wilder is. | ||
| That's a totally different animal. | ||
| Joshua and Fury aren't a killer like Wilder. | ||
| When it comes to one-punch power, the hardest hitter in the world. | ||
| Wilder is made out of wood. | ||
| That dude is iron. | ||
| When he fucking hits dudes, he hits dudes in a different way. | ||
| It's like they're getting clubbed. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| It's amazing, dude. | ||
| The first thing I asked him when he did the podcast, I'm like, how the fuck do you hit so hard? | ||
| Like, look, he just knows. | ||
| He can absorb shots. | ||
| He's just smart enough to hang on there and just stand in front of you. | ||
| If you're standing in front of him, he can uncork on you. | ||
| How skinny he is. | ||
| But look at this fight, man. | ||
| He's 23 pounds. | ||
| This is a tough fight. | ||
| This is what I'm saying. | ||
| He was losing this fight, dude. | ||
|
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|
Look at this. | |
| He's getting his body worked. | ||
| He's getting beat up. | ||
| He got clubbed there. | ||
| Dude, he is getting fucking hurt. | ||
| So this is not an easy fight for him. | ||
| And I think the rematch will be even harder. | ||
| I really, truly believe that. | ||
| I think whatever Ortiz has got left in his body, he's going to come at him. | ||
| And Deontay Wilder knows that this guy can fucking box. | ||
| The difference, I think, is with Wilder, you're dealing with a guy who is getting better with every fight because he's literally learning on the job as one of the most successful heavyweight champions of all time. | ||
| Because he's only been fighting since he was 20. He's getting better and better and better. | ||
| For Luis Ortiz, Luis Ortiz is like maintaining right now. | ||
| He's 60 years old. | ||
| He's 49,000 years old. | ||
| No, he's 60 years old from Cuba. | ||
| We have no idea. | ||
| He has 7,000 fights. | ||
|
unidentified
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We have no idea. | |
| And he's been popped. | ||
| He's been popped for steroids. | ||
| To quote Joey Diaz, it's fucking Fury or Joshua, go fuck your mother. | ||
| And then he dropped him. | ||
| And he dropped him here. | ||
| I think we're going to get Joshua Wilder next, man. | ||
| Listen, bro, if we don't, I'm telling you, I'm down to see this fight again. | ||
| I'm down to see this fight again. | ||
| Ortiz hurt. | ||
| He hurt Wilder, man. | ||
| No, Wilder's losing that fight. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He hurt Wilder. | ||
| That's the happiest I've ever been. | ||
| Dude, I fucking love that guy. | ||
| I jumped out of my seat. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| I love his story. | ||
| I love how he is as a person. | ||
| He's fun. | ||
| Great person. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| And also, it's interesting how small he is as a heavyweight. | ||
| So thin. | ||
| When he fought Tyson Fury, he weighed 209. It's nuts, man. | ||
| 209. My favorite part is he's such a beast of a dad, too. | ||
| Brings his kid, the little baby, and his wife everywhere. | ||
| Brings the rest of the kids everywhere. | ||
| I was surprised how sweet he was. | ||
| He's a warm, friendly guy. | ||
| You love him right away. | ||
| To everybody, blessings, blessings. | ||
| He's a real talent, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, vibrate success. | ||
| Yeah, he's the real deal, man. | ||
| It's good to be around. | ||
| I'm excited about the heavyweight division, too, because I feel the same way about Joshua. | ||
| Joshua seems like a champ of a person. | ||
| Yeah, I've never talked to him. | ||
| Seems awesome. | ||
| Yeah, like, all these interviews, he, like, comes across. | ||
| He's smiling. | ||
| He's charismatic. | ||
| He's interesting. | ||
| Probably pull up an Aston Martin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Probably got one of them Land Rover V8s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those defenders. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Just fucks all the girls. | ||
| I'm saying that because I saw a video of him where there was a car show where they drove Anthony Joshua around. | ||
| He got to drive around one of those Land Rover Defenders, those boxy-looking military vehicles. | ||
| Oh, I love those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those are dope. | |
| Those are sick. | ||
| They're about to release a new one. | ||
| They're coming out with a new one? | ||
| Yeah, Land Rover's coming out with a new Defender. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Yeah, they have a new model. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| They're such hits. | ||
| Just like Ford's coming out with a Bronco. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're coming out with a Bronco, and they're also going to have a smaller Bronco. | ||
| Yeah, they're having a baby Bronco? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a two-door and a four-door? | ||
| And wait until they do the SVT version of it, like the Raptor version of the Bronco. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| I have to get rid of the Raptor, son. | ||
| Your Raptor is one of my all-time favorite trucks. | ||
| It is such a meathead move to get a goddamn Raptor. | ||
| Especially in LA. You're such a meathead. | ||
| Like, you got bales of hay back there, son? | ||
| What are you using that pickup for? | ||
| Zero things? | ||
| What am I using for it? | ||
| Being awesome. | ||
| Being awesome. | ||
| Everything is awesome. | ||
| The thing about those two... | ||
| And it's uplifted with fucking monster truck. | ||
| Raptors are preposterous cars because they give someone the ability to drive like a real off-road vehicle with 500 plus horsepower and just get it from a factory. | ||
| It has a crazy suspension. | ||
| You could just drive over the fucking moon with that suspension. | ||
| I mean, it has crazy travel in those wheels. | ||
| So when you drive it on the highway, too, it's like smooth. | ||
| Yeah, it feels like an S-Class almost. | ||
| Yeah, it absorbs everything. | ||
| But yet it's huge. | ||
| But yet it's a monster of a vehicle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a monster. | |
| And you could accessory the fuck out of that bitch with some crazy bumpers and rear bumpers and tail bumpers. | ||
| Yep, you sure can. | ||
| Side pipes. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| I mean, side steps and shit. | ||
| What is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Deontay Wilder's Gator Skin Aventador. | |
| Oh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| Oh no! | ||
| Let's go champ! | ||
| No, I don't support this. | ||
| I'm 100%. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No way! | |
| I love him more now. | ||
| Look at that fucking car. | ||
| I want more pictures. | ||
| Yes! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| First of all, what are you going to do with gator skin? | ||
| Listen, first of all, that's a wrap. | ||
| Okay, that's not real gator skin. | ||
| It's a wrap. | ||
| If it was real gator skin, they would have to glue it to the car and ruin it. | ||
| There's like divots on the little things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a wrap. | |
| Hush your mouth. | ||
| That's not alligator skin. | ||
| Dude, I have an alligator skin. | ||
| I hate alligators. | ||
| I don't know if you know this. | ||
| I don't like them. | ||
| I don't talk about it too much, but I have a hate for them. | ||
| You're scared of them? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| When I was a little kid, I lived in Florida. | ||
| When I lived in Gainesville from age 11 to 13. Oh, wow. | ||
| And we lived near a place called Lake Alice. | ||
| And Lake Alice had alligators. | ||
| And I knew there was a lady that was walking her dog by the lake. | ||
| And the alligator came out and snatched her fucking dog from it. | ||
| And you saw it at like 11. I didn't see it. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| But I remember that being a thing. | ||
| And I remember seeing those goddamn things all the time. | ||
| And everybody telling me that you don't have to worry about it. | ||
| When I'm 11... | ||
| My sister is 10, and we'd be hanging out at this lake, and I'd be like, what the fuck is to stop an alligator from eating us? | ||
| Nothing! | ||
| And I remember looking them in the eye, and I'm fascinated by them, right? | ||
| They're amazing, because I always loved dinosaurs when I was a kid. | ||
| It's a dinosaur. | ||
| It is a dinosaur. | ||
| And I was always into nature. | ||
| I'm always into cool nature shows and documentaries. | ||
| So I'm looking at this thing, thinking like, oh, we're just used to them being around. | ||
| Like, we shouldn't allow them to be around. | ||
| We're just used to them being around. | ||
| So we think it's cool that they're around. | ||
| But they will fucking eat you! | ||
| And they'll eat your dog. | ||
| Any chance they get. | ||
| So I started buying... | ||
| I buy alligator... | ||
| I always have alligator belts. | ||
| All my belts are always alligator. | ||
| That's gangster. | ||
| Dude, I have alligator bags for my pool cues. | ||
| I keep them in alligator. | ||
| You have alligator luggage? | ||
| I don't like it. | ||
| I have an alligator wallet. | ||
| I don't like them. | ||
| I don't like them. | ||
| I want to kill them. | ||
| I want to kill them. | ||
| If there was too many of them and they were near you, you'd want to kill them too. | ||
| They're eating machines. | ||
| They're heartless eating machines. | ||
| They got a brain the size of a thumb. | ||
| I don't like them. | ||
| Dude, how about the one at Disney World? | ||
| The parents that took their kid there, the two-year-old. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Ate the fucking kid. | ||
| At Disney World, they have a real problem in Florida. | ||
| They have to scan the fucking property looking for alligators. | ||
| They have to go through it. | ||
| They have waters there. | ||
| I took my daughter, my youngest. | ||
| We went fishing there. | ||
| There's a lake where you go bass fishing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And there's tons of alligators in there? | ||
| Fuck yeah, there is! | ||
| You gotta be careful, man. | ||
| Anytime you got a body of water and just land around it. | ||
| In Florida. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No swimming in Florida. | ||
| That's my rule. | ||
| No swimming in those lakes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No swimming. | |
| No, anyway. | ||
| Bro, don't do it. | ||
| No swimming. | ||
| There's no water sports in Florida. | ||
| That's the rule. | ||
| Get out of the water. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| I was in Tampa. | ||
| You want to go to the beach? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| Fuck you. | ||
| Fuck you and your shark. | ||
| Saltwater crocs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shark soup. | |
| Sharks. | ||
| You got shark soup down here, bitch. | ||
| Fuck that noise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| Too many ways to die in Florida. | ||
| Dude, the craziest thing that's happening right now in the Everglades is the pythons. | ||
| They said that there's been a 90 plus percent decrease in the amount of rabbits, possums, raccoons, deer, like all the major mammals that live in the Florida Everglades are gone. | ||
| They've all been killed by pythons! | ||
|
unidentified
|
God! | |
| They took a Judas python. | ||
| You know what a Judas python is? | ||
| They take a python, they put a chip in it so they can track it. | ||
| So they have this male python, and they sent him out there to find the females. | ||
| And they used him to locate, using the GPS, to locate a 16-foot python. | ||
| 16-foot female python that was pregnant. | ||
| Game's that match. | ||
| Yeah, so he's banging these bitches out there, making them pregnant. | ||
| And these whores are watching. | ||
| And these evil fucking snakes. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Snake's boyfriend leads hunters to- Why would they kill it? | ||
| They have to kill it, bro. | ||
| Why? | ||
| That thing's awesome. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They're invasive. | ||
| They're not supposed to be there. | ||
| It had 73 eggs. | ||
| And it was more than 17 feet long. | ||
| Can you imagine stumbling across that thing? | ||
| No, you're dead. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| That thing weighs as much as you do. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| Holy fuck. | ||
| Yeah, that's probably a 200-pound snake. | ||
| Oh my god, is that it? | ||
| Little bitch ass, 140. 140? | ||
| I'm getting away from that snake. | ||
| Get the fuck out of my face. | ||
| Fuck, I got a knife. | ||
| Speaking of snakes, I'm gonna live. | ||
| I gotta pee so hard. | ||
| Go ahead, Pete, let's wrap this up. | ||
| People who want to see your special, they can watch it on Showtime on demand. | ||
| Yeah, you can watch it for free. | ||
| Go to Showtime.com, you get 30 days of Showtime for free. | ||
| Go to Showtime.com, promo code SHOB, you can watch it for free. | ||
| And you better do some more of those improv shows. | ||
| I got a bunch coming up. | ||
| Dude, tell me why I'm here. | ||
| I love doing them. | ||
| Let me do it, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let me do those. | |
| I want to say thank you to you, though, brother. | ||
| I wouldn't have even been on this journey if it wasn't for you, man. | ||
| Dude, I'm proud of you. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I love you, too, brother. | ||
| I'm very, very happy for you. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| All right, my friends. | ||
| Bye. |
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