All Episodes
May 15, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:20:55
Joe Rogan Experience #1298 - Neal Brennan
Participants
Main voices
j
joe rogan
01:04:28
n
neal brennan
01:10:59
Appearances
j
jamie vernon
02:07
Clips
d
donald j trump
00:03
| Copy link to current segment

Speaker Time Text
neal brennan
Let me sign my waiver.
joe rogan
Sign the waiver.
unidentified
We're live.
joe rogan
Great.
neal brennan
I'm glad that people are seeing me.
As everyone will be a notary public.
joe rogan
I wonder if there's a software that can listen to the sound your pen is making and figure out the lines you're drawing.
You know, they have technology now where when people are speaking in a room with a window...
neal brennan
They can get rid of the window noise?
joe rogan
No, they can tune into the vibrations of the window from the sound of your voice and pick up everything that's being said in the room.
neal brennan
I heard that there's a Netflix...
I mean, Netflix doesn't give people ratings, but there's a way that they can gauge reflections off of some weird fucking technology.
And it's fairly accurate.
joe rogan
Reflections off of windows?
neal brennan
Yes.
This is second hand.
I believe it's sound waves.
joe rogan
Oh, wow.
What are they monitoring?
Jamie's got something.
neal brennan
I have no idea.
jamie vernon
We can buy this right now if you want.
joe rogan
Long-range laser listening device.
The long-range laser listening device, laser microscope, is a highly sophisticated surveillance apparatus that utilizes an invisible infrared laser beam to eavesdrop on a target.
This is the most effective long-range laser listening device in the world that allows the operator to conduct an undetectable surveillance operation on any targeted device.
neal brennan
From Tony Stark Industries.
joe rogan
With at least one window at an impressive distance of over 500 meters.
That is actually very impressive.
neal brennan
That's far.
joe rogan
That's far as shit.
With a laser beam.
Fuck.
And you can just buy that?
jamie vernon
As I say, that's commercially available, and I wonder what is not commercially available.
joe rogan
Oh, for sure.
Right.
jamie vernon
That is out there.
joe rogan
Like, you remember when there was that story about some weird sound weapon they think that the Cubans were using on Americans that were in Cuba?
Yeah.
Probably a bunch of shit like that.
jamie vernon
I was reading an article.
Submarines have technology they can listen to.
Basically, fish farting in the ocean if they wanted to.
They can hear sounds that quiet.
They can hear anything.
Literally, if fish farts, they're like, what was that?
Was that a sub?
Nope, it was a fish.
What was the next sound?
neal brennan
Good for us.
Or something.
Good for somebody.
joe rogan
Good for us, I guess.
neal brennan
The sound thing was funny because people would get sick Yeah.
And they could, and then there was also, they did it in China, too.
They were like, they, at American civil, like, NG, like, non-government, or like, kind of worked for the government tangentially, or they worked at the embassy.
Their apartments were above each other, two separate people, and both of them.
It was on 60 Minutes, like, not long ago.
joe rogan
So they targeted the rooms.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's like a dog whistle for people.
neal brennan
Yes, in essence.
And it's like, well, what do you want me to do?
I guess you just leave.
I guess it is like a dog whistle.
joe rogan
Yeah, they just want you to feel like shit.
unidentified
Get the fuck out of here.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's probably a ton of technology like that that we're not aware of.
My friend Mike Swick used to fight in the UFC, and before that, he did a brief stint in the military.
He was doing something, some sort of...
It was either Secret Service work or something along those lines.
But anyway, he was at the embassy in Russia.
And he said that they had found listening devices that were so sophisticated that they were being powered by the natural sway of the building with the wind.
So they didn't need a power source.
The natural swaying of the building in the wind was powering up this little microphone that was listening in on things.
And he said they were looking at this stuff and they're like, we don't know anything like this.
This is completely new stuff.
And we found it.
In this building.
neal brennan
I like...
I mean, I don't love...
But it's like...
joe rogan
It's kind of cool.
neal brennan
It's cool.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, I just don't kill me or us.
You know what I mean?
Like, the hope is we just...
They have their thing and it's just like mutually assured destruction.
Like an arms race of technology.
Because that's what's going to happen.
Do you use the cloud?
joe rogan
Yes.
I know.
I don't use it for important stuff.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
But I use it for like my apps.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
My apps are backed up in the cloud.
Recordings are backed up in the cloud.
unidentified
Sets.
joe rogan
Sets of them.
neal brennan
Yeah, but there's like photos or video.
It's just a bit like...
unidentified
Not much.
neal brennan
I don't know, man.
joe rogan
It gets fucking crazy.
I mean, we're getting down to some very strange place with the cloud.
With stuff being just in the air.
neal brennan
And the amount of trust it takes...
The presumption that we'll just never run out of energy and we'll never run out of the ability to tap into the cloud is like, that seems presumption.
I'm not even like a doomsday person, but I just feel like it's like the difference between how men dress in public and how women dress.
Like on a night out, women are wearing heels and guys are dressed in case they have to fight.
I'm still, like we will do the thing in the mirror where we're like, I'll fucking, I'll fuck you up!
And, like, that's how I feel with technology, where I'm like, do I have a backup plan for this?
Even people with, like, Wi-Fi door locks, I'm like, I don't know, man.
joe rogan
I don't know, man.
neal brennan
I don't know.
joe rogan
If the Wi-Fi goes out, what are you going to do?
neal brennan
Yeah, like, please be careful.
I don't know what the negative scenario is.
But even my garage in my place, I live in, like, a townhouse thing.
And there was a power outage.
The gate won't open.
joe rogan
There's no release?
neal brennan
There was a release that somebody...
A better person than I figured out, you know what I mean?
Like, I was just like, I can't come.
Like, a little Uber?
I didn't have a fucking plan, but someone figured out, like, you open a hatch, and then there's a chain, and you gotta pull the chain, and it was like, okay.
But it wasn't easy.
Like, you know, it's the doomsday thing.
It's like, eh.
joe rogan
Well, this guy, Graham Hancock...
This guy's been on my show several times and he's just on recently.
And he's one of the main proponents of this theory that something somewhere around 12,800 years ago hit the earth and fucked up everything and probably reset civilization, killed off the vast majority of us.
neal brennan
12,000 years ago.
joe rogan
That's not that long ago.
Not that long ago at all.
It corresponds with the end of the Ice Age.
There's a lot of physical evidence for it.
And increasingly, we're seeing more and more evidence in terms of ancient cultures that existed far before 12,800 years ago that they really didn't understand.
They thought people were just hunter-gatherers back then.
Now they're finding evidence of things like – there's a place called Gobekli Tepe, which is a giant – these huge monolithic structures that are made out of stone, like huge columns that don't seem like they were made by hunter-gatherers.
It seems like there was probably some sort of a lost civilization.
And they know that this all happened somewhere around that time, somewhere around 12,000 years ago.
So it can happen again.
And if it does happen again, all our stuff is on digital now, which is even weirder.
It's weirder than books.
We have books, but the vast majority of most of the data that we all keep and share, we share on phones and on computers.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And we can't read it.
We can't read it without programs.
neal brennan
I don't know the first thing about...
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I don't know anything about...
I was talking last night, like, I don't know much about my...
The level of education women have about their reproductive organs versus men.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
neal brennan
Like, my balls.
I know about my balls.
I know that the medical term is testicles.
joe rogan
Hmm.
neal brennan
That's about it, Joe.
Don't get them hot.
joe rogan
If you get them hot, it's bad.
neal brennan
Yeah, again, that's like a child.
Do you know what I mean?
And you only know that from like, oh, because I got them hot one time.
But I don't know how...
Semen gets to the...
I don't know the name of the two.
I don't know anything.
And that's my body.
Women know tons.
They know fallopian tubes, vulva, cervix, like everything.
joe rogan
Yeah, guys know prostate cancer.
neal brennan
What?
My asshole?
joe rogan
Cancer.
neal brennan
And not curious.
I mean, like curious in a way of like, ah, let's just hope...
Just hope for those.
It's none of my business.
joe rogan
Plus, to get checked out, you have to have a finger in your ass, and everybody puts that off.
neal brennan
Yeah.
Now, meanwhile, women do that once a year.
joe rogan
Constantly.
They're always getting jabbed at and swabbed.
neal brennan
Swabbed.
Yeah, they get the pap smear.
A smear.
Smear's in the title.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Oof.
neal brennan
Ugh.
joe rogan
Jesus.
Imagine if you needed people to come inside you.
You needed them to not just exchange bodily fluids by kissing.
No, they have to squirt something in you to make people.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's an odd...
Their poisonous little dirty DNA. Their dirty little fucking infected...
neal brennan
It's awfully gross.
If you get like 10 feet away from it, you're like, Jesus, I don't know what they're doing.
joe rogan
But while you're in the moment, it seems like the thing to do.
neal brennan
It's the most logical.
You gotta do it.
Can't not do it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Speaking of that, did you see the thing about Gerard?
No.
If you want to bring it up.
But he basically came out a little on HBO. Came out a little?
Came out a little to his mom.
Said, I've had sexual experiences with men.
Uh-oh.
And it's just like that.
joe rogan
Was she cool with it?
neal brennan
Yeah.
She was cool with it.
That's the thing.
People are like, what do you think?
I'm like, I don't...
Sexual preference at this point to me is about as interesting as your workout.
I just don't care.
What are you doing?
unidentified
Cool.
joe rogan
You know what I care about?
Are you funny?
neal brennan
Are you funny and are you cool?
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
And do we have shit to talk about?
joe rogan
Right.
neal brennan
Great.
I couldn't care less what type of hand you like jerking.
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
I think it's an advantage.
neal brennan
What kind of mouth...
joe rogan
With some guys, like Tim Dillon, I think it's an advantage with his act that he's gay.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because he's so ridiculous and over the top and he's just like a big fat gay guy.
neal brennan
Yeah.
But he doesn't really talk.
Doesn't he talk about it very much?
joe rogan
He'll talk about it sometimes.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
But I mean, it's not a big deal to him.
He treats it the way a guy treats his sexuality.
Like you don't have to go blaring through the streets that you're straight all the time.
If you are, I usually assume you're really not.
Right.
neal brennan
Right.
Like there's no, yeah.
joe rogan
If you're straight, you're straight.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
If you're not, no one fucking cares.
In the comedy community, literally no one cares.
neal brennan
Yeah, it doesn't.
It makes no difference.
joe rogan
The only thing that bums me out is when guys hide it.
It's like, come on.
neal brennan
Does it bum you out for them?
joe rogan
Yes, for them.
neal brennan
Yeah, it really bums.
But, having said that, I get it.
joe rogan
I get it.
neal brennan
It's a real bummer.
It's sad.
We know a few guys that are in the closet.
You just feel bad for them.
Exactly.
Yeah, man.
I hope it's not unbearable.
You know what I mean?
I get why you're in the closet.
I get why actors are in the closet, especially male actors, because it doesn't serve them to come out.
It's not going to help them.
joe rogan
I think it's the worst thing for them.
In terms of getting roles as a heterosexual, if you're a known homosexual, you almost can't get roles as a heterosexual.
I remember, there was some...
What is that guy's name?
Neil Patrick Harris?
unidentified
Neil Patrick Harris.
joe rogan
He was in something, where he played this arrogant guy who likes girls.
neal brennan
He was in...
joe rogan
What was it, a show?
neal brennan
No, he was on How I Met Your Mother.
Yeah, and that worked.
He also played a straight guy in Gone Girl pretty well.
joe rogan
Yeah, was that before or after he came out?
neal brennan
They've both been after.
joe rogan
Really?
neal brennan
And I was surprised that that's what he played, but certain people, they just...
I don't know.
joe rogan
He might be the only guy that can do it.
neal brennan
I agree.
That he came out and you buy it somehow.
joe rogan
As a romantic lead, you think that it cancels that out.
Like if Tom Cruise decided to come out.
If Tom Cruise is gay and he decided to come out.
That would be a real problem.
neal brennan
You know what I was talking to somebody about this the other day?
You know what would be a hilarious movie idea?
Gay couple, Tom Cruise and John Travolta.
John Travolta gets kidnapped and gay Tom Cruise has to save his gay husband, John Travolta.
But other than that, it's a real action movie.
unidentified
Wow.
neal brennan
It's just gay.
joe rogan
I like it.
neal brennan
Wouldn't that be fucking cool?
joe rogan
I like it.
neal brennan
Like, just a straight gay...
If anyone out there is a screenwriter, have at it, because I'm never going to write it.
joe rogan
Would that fly?
Would people enjoy that?
neal brennan
I think...
joe rogan
Like, if it was really good, like John Wick style.
neal brennan
I think it would.
I really think it would.
If the guy just...
It's not like gay guys are, like, a feat in the...
I know plenty of, like, rough...
Gay guys that'll whoop your ass.
joe rogan
Bears, bro.
neal brennan
Bears, bro.
They got their own growl.
That's how fucking bad these guys are.
But to really, it would be fucking so cool.
Because that's how I feel with someone like Gerard coming out.
I'm like, I don't care.
Okay.
It's never come up.
We've been good friends for a decade.
Just never came up.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, he didn't seem that interested in women, but I also don't think he's not interested.
He's just maybe...
joe rogan
There's definitely a spectrum, right?
And some people are just...
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And that's fine, too.
neal brennan
Yeah.
I'm also not...
If I were on the spectrum, I think I would absolutely do it.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
I'm just not on the spectrum.
But in terms of opportunity...
There's a lot of nights a year, Joe.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
neal brennan
There's 365 nights a year.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
neal brennan
You're not going to do the- Pussy dick, pussy dick, pussy dick.
Yeah.
Go back and you go back and more.
Same night.
joe rogan
Split it up.
Dom and I had the best joke about that.
He goes, this is how little I give a fuck.
He goes, I wish I was gay just so I could come out.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He goes, I wish.
unidentified
I wish I had a secret like that.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
He goes, that's how little I give a fuck.
It's so true.
neal brennan
It's like his joke about I'm gaining weight for a movie.
I don't know what the movie is yet, but it's such a fucking great joke.
Yeah, but a gay action movie would be fantastic.
joe rogan
I like it.
neal brennan
I do too.
joe rogan
Within a year or two, people would be definitely ready for it.
neal brennan
If it were a legit good action movie, I think they'd be, if it were Tom Hardy, even if, maybe if they were both, one of them was straight and one of them was Tom Hardy and he just plays gay and it's taken.
joe rogan
It doesn't have to be two gay guys.
It could be even crazier, two straight guys who have to make out.
neal brennan
Yeah, they could be played by straight guys.
Absolutely.
Now we're really talking.
joe rogan
Now you're talking.
And now you're talking commitment.
neal brennan
Because I was thinking about, if Tom Cruise was gay, right, and he just came out, and there's a movie where he has to save his wife, would women not believe it?
Do you know what I mean?
joe rogan
Yes.
neal brennan
So if you come out, so it's like, all right, so now in the next Mission Impossible, they just kidnap his husband.
joe rogan
Yeah, well, for sure you could do that with lesbians.
If you had two hot lesbians?
neal brennan
Yeah, of course.
joe rogan
100%.
neal brennan
Yeah.
No, there's zero issue.
joe rogan
That would be no problem.
There'd be no resistance.
And that's the difference between a lesbian actress.
They can go, a woman who's a lesbian can play straight, gay, straight.
neal brennan
Because there's a big portion of men who never truly believe a lesbian.
joe rogan
I have a bit about it.
Yeah.
I had a bit about it from one of my old specials.
It's like, we believe that you believe you're a lesbian.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
You just ain't got a piece of this sweet dick yet.
neal brennan
You never spent a Saturday with me at fucking Applebee's.
I hit you with an Applebee's and a bar, a corner bar.
Forget it.
The panty dropper.
joe rogan
Tequila shots.
What do you got?
Brokeback Mountain.
neal brennan
Yeah.
jamie vernon
It wasn't really an action, though.
neal brennan
No, but if it's that...
joe rogan
Do we know for sure that both of those guys are not gay?
We do not.
neal brennan
We...
joe rogan
We assume...
neal brennan
I mean...
Jake Gyllenhaal's straight.
joe rogan
You say so.
neal brennan
Heath Ledger.
joe rogan
But you saw that movie.
neal brennan
I mean, come on, man.
You saw it.
You believed it.
No one's that good at acting.
joe rogan
Jack Nicholson is definitely crazy.
There's no way he could play crazy.
That guy's definitely gay.
Trust me, I know things.
unidentified
I've seen many movies and understand them.
joe rogan
I know when someone's acting and someone's just gay.
neal brennan
The fucking kid believed it.
joe rogan
That was easy for him.
neal brennan
Yeah, no, it would be that, but running around.
joe rogan
Yeah, that could happen.
I think that could happen.
I think we're on the verge of that.
It's nice.
neal brennan
I would enjoy it.
joe rogan
I'm happy for it because then people stop getting free passes where you're goofy, but you're gay.
So we let you slide with silly behavior.
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I want equality.
I want me to be able to call you a dunce and not have to worry about being homophobic.
neal brennan
And no one hears gay dunce when you say it.
You just go, this guy's a fucking dummy.
joe rogan
He's a fucking dunce.
Oh my god, you're homophobic.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
neal brennan
Yeah, that's how it would go at the Comedy Cellar.
Just like this fucking dunce, and it would count.
joe rogan
Dude, I hear that the Comedy Cellar seriously has a social justice warrior infestation.
They need to spray the place.
neal brennan
Oh, I don't, I mean, when I've been there, it hasn't been like that.
I mean, there have been people writing about it.
I mean, it's like, the comedy teller is like the main hub of culture now.
joe rogan
Is it the main hub of wokeness?
neal brennan
Yeah, I mean, but it's also like the main battlefield of wokeness, where it's like, Louis came, and there were protesters, and then I couldn't sit at the table.
Fuck you!
And it's like, alright, I mean...
I don't think it's...
joe rogan
Pull your dick out!
neal brennan
Yeah, exactly.
joe rogan
Some girl told Louie to pull her dick out and she was a hero.
I was quoting all these tweets that were talking about it and articles that were written.
Hero.
She was heroic.
neal brennan
I think someone sent me a Louis article today.
I think there's just fatigue at this point.
joe rogan
Yes.
neal brennan
I think people are just like...
Like, what's he...
I don't...
unidentified
Okay.
joe rogan
Like, try to find a new Stormy Daniels article.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Everybody's like, enough.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
We thought it was going to work.
It didn't work.
He doesn't give a fuck.
He doesn't give a fuck.
unidentified
Ah, fuck.
neal brennan
He doesn't care?
unidentified
Shit.
joe rogan
Dude, Justin Martindale was in...
I'll never forget.
He's in the fucking hallway of the Comedy Store as flamboyant as he could ever be.
neal brennan
Yep.
joe rogan
And he goes, that's our Monica Lewinsky.
She's gonna take him down.
I'm like, good luck.
neal brennan
Stormy Daniels?
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm like, good luck with that.
That ain't gonna do shit.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
So what's the worst thing that comes out of this?
That he fucked her?
Or that he paid her to keep quiet and she didn't keep quiet?
What's the worst thing?
Do we think he doesn't fuck?
neal brennan
Yeah, it's all different strains.
I'm like, we knew he was gross.
No one cared.
The only way that it goes is he raises taxes, or then he'll lose his base, or you raise his taxes on lower middle class people, and if he doesn't stand by his abortion stuff.
But otherwise, all the donors are sticking with him, everyone's sticking with him.
joe rogan
What happened yesterday?
There was a new abortion ruling.
Was it in Alabama?
neal brennan
Yes.
It's basically outlawed.
I personally believe it's going to backfire.
joe rogan
You think so?
neal brennan
Yeah, because I think people, the thing that's always been true is Republicans were against abortion and they would go like, and they never got to repeal it, right?
I think they're gonna repeal it and then people are gonna go like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is crazy.
If you don't want to get abortions, fine, but you can't People change a law based on, a lot of times, not even a plurality of, like in general elections, like in the general presidential election.
It's not even the majority of the country that elects the president now.
joe rogan
Was this something that the people of Alabama voted on?
neal brennan
No, it's the state legislature.
joe rogan
That is a slippery slope.
neal brennan
Yeah, and it's like you're doing 99 years in jail if you give an abortion or get one.
joe rogan
That's what it is now?
neal brennan
Yeah, that's the law that they passed.
I just personally believe that...
I mean, I'm obviously hopeful, but it's a bit like, nah, that's too far.
It's a bit like when they made Clinton testify, and people were like, eh, that was too far a line was crossed when they made Clinton testify about his sex life, and it was like, mm...
We don't like that.
We understand that you wanted to rebuke the guy, but don't make the president.
And I feel like I'm hoping, and I believe it's true, that it will be too far afield for moderate people.
joe rogan
I hope you're right.
It's very dangerous when you just decide that no one can do it anymore based on a few people's decision that is going to affect the millions of people that live in Alabama.
neal brennan
Well, also, abortion laws are odd because the assumption is the reason Christians want to outlaw it is because they think God is going to say, what's with your vote on that?
I saw that you voted for abortion.
joe rogan
You want to kill babies?
neal brennan
Yeah, so you want to kill babies?
Well, no, I didn't kill any babies.
Yeah, but you voted for it.
It's like, they don't want to live in a country where that's legal.
Having said that, if you Google the worldwide rights of abortion, it's not legal everywhere.
Which surprised me, because I was like, what is America's...
Where do we stand within the rest of the world?
And there are not a ton of countries, but I think it's illegal in a quarter of the world.
Wow.
If not more.
joe rogan
Well, abortion is one of those things where it's like, okay, when does it bother you?
It doesn't bother me at all if you're two days pregnant.
It doesn't bother me at all.
It bothers me a little if you're four months pregnant.
It bothers me a lot if you're five or six.
It bothers me a lot.
If you look really pregnant and you get an abortion, it's like, what is that?
Is that a baby that would be viable outside the womb?
Because it's something that people just have a deep discomfort about when discussing.
Even if you're a supporter of it, if you just discuss the actual reality of what it is, what the act is, what this Surgical procedure is.
And it makes, you know, it's not...
neal brennan
It's not nothing.
That's the thing.
It's not nothing.
And I think that one of the indicators that it's not nothing...
And I'm pro-choice.
joe rogan
As I. Yeah, like...
neal brennan
You're right-wing, Joe.
Everybody knows that.
joe rogan
Super rude.
I'm so far right, I go the other way.
neal brennan
I'm left.
joe rogan
Catching the backside.
neal brennan
I actually do want to talk about that.
The presumption about you.
That...
One of the indicators is when people talk about even getting an abortion, they always whisper about it.
And I don't know if it's because of the stigma or because it's kind of not.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's a personal thing, too.
I don't think they want to discuss it with other folks.
neal brennan
But I wouldn't care if I got a cyst removed.
I mean, if that's the indication.
joe rogan
Right, if it's just that.
neal brennan
Yeah, if it's just a medical procedure.
And again, pro-choice, have at it.
I haven't had any abortions that I know of, but I don't know at what point I'd be like, ah!
joe rogan
And these attitudes about it, about the taboo of discussing it, though, it impedes rational discourse.
It impedes your ability to talk about things and communicate about them.
Because you have to have this very rigid opinion that you're always pro-abortion, pro-women's rights, woman's right to choose, which I am.
But we're still talking about a real thing.
And that real thing is killing a thing that would grow up to be a person, and that's why people freak out about it.
And to pretend it otherwise is just disingenuous.
neal brennan
Louie was the first one I heard talk about that on stage in a way that was funny.
We're like, if they think they're murdering babies down there, yeah, I'd protest too.
If there was a place that I thought these people are murdering babies, I'm out there every day.
He's like, I don't care.
I personally think they are murdering babies.
I don't care.
joe rogan
This is before he got in trouble, and this is one of the things, like that Parkland joke that he did, I was like, look, that's not his best joke, but it's also, he's working it out.
He hasn't done stand-up in ten fucking months, he's working it out, but if you say that he's different now, we're getting to see the real Louie, like, bitch, you better go through his library.
That's what he did!
neal brennan
Yeah, the Parkland thing was like his ninth most offensive joke.
joe rogan
Yeah, not even close.
That's what he does.
It's called comedy.
neal brennan
Yeah, the idea was like, well, but we didn't know he was a dick.
joe rogan
Because you didn't even know him.
neal brennan
Yeah, because you didn't know him.
You assume what you believed what he fed, or you wanted to believe.
I have a theory that one of the reasons people like the New York Times and other media outlets brought the hammer down so hard on him is because they'd heard the rumors and ignored them.
So now they have to signal that, like, this is wrong.
Because there were rumors before.
joe rogan
Right.
neal brennan
And they were like, we don't, like, they ignored them, so now they have to overcompensate.
Be like, he is absolutely, he's the face of hypocrisy and evil.
I was like, okay.
joe rogan
Well, he just caught it at the worst time ever culturally.
neal brennan
Yeah.
He just, it's a bad...
He had beachfront property during a hurricane.
Yeah, it was a hurricane of change.
Yeah, some hurricanes you can destroy.
You got the deep stilts.
joe rogan
Not this one, motherfucker.
unidentified
This is a fucking structure flattener.
He's walking around, I was going, oh my god, this is my cup!
neal brennan
Oh, my cup!
Here's what I want to talk about with you.
The idea, because whenever I tell people we're friends or that I go on your show, they're like, how can you?
I'm like, first of all, because you're a fucking good dude and have been a good dude for 27 years that I know of, to me.
Thank you.
It doesn't mean you're always good, but whatever, you're always a good dude.
Every time I say that, whatever, I don't fucking know your life.
I don't know what you do outside of fucking...
Encino.
And now the next question becomes, why do you have cranks on the show?
And you and I have talked about this a little bit off the show.
Explain, because you are basically liberal.
joe rogan
Yes.
neal brennan
But you believe in having hardcore right-wing people on because you like them personally, or you believe it's worth...
joe rogan
Some of them I like personally, some of them it's worth having a conversation.
Ben Shapiro was one that I had a long conversation with.
He's one of the more controversial guys that I have on.
People get upset at me and call me an alt-righter.
Which, meanwhile, he's been attacked by the alt-right.
You know, he wears a yarmulke, for Christ's sake.
He's not alt-right.
He's not a white supremacist by any stretch of the imagination.
He was the number one target for anti-Semitic remarks in the entire world in 2016. Well, he's...
There's that.
There's definitely that.
But we had an in-depth conversation, a very long one, about gay people.
neal brennan
Yeah.
I saw a little bit of it where he was like, he kind of got a little lost.
joe rogan
Well, yeah, because it doesn't – well, he had two different takes.
Here's, like, David Parkman had an interesting take on it.
Parkman said that if you look at his explanation – because I asked him a couple things.
I'm like, do you really believe that Moses is part of the Red Sea?
And he said I would look for a more naturalistic explanation for that.
But then when I talked to him about gay people and gay things – He wasn't interested in a naturalistic explanation.
And he also wasn't interested in giving people the ability to do whatever they want.
He felt like you're supposed to resist that.
And his take is that you have an urge to murder people, but you don't do it because you're a good person.
And you should do the same thing with being gay.
And I was like, wow, that's crazy mental gymnastics.
neal brennan
So that is, he believes, a natural occurring thing.
joe rogan
That God is testing you with.
I mean, I'm putting words in his mouth, I think, but essentially that's his position.
His position is that God doesn't want you to do that.
It's in the Bible.
He doesn't do it.
I mean, he goes hard.
He doesn't use electricity on the Sabbath until the sun goes down, the whole deal.
And, you know, a lot of people are like, you know, you're giving this guy a platform.
I'm like, look, I'm communicating with someone.
And I like him as a person.
He's a very nice guy.
I don't agree with him at all about that, about the gay stuff.
neal brennan
And you believe it's worth giving people a platform.
joe rogan
What does that mean?
neal brennan
Well, not a platform, but like...
joe rogan
I think that's a real problem discussing things like that.
Like giving people a platform.
Because we're living in this world of de-platforming people.
I think that's inherently dangerous.
And I think that just stopping people from their ability to communicate just makes more pressure on their side.
It makes more people that are on the fence support them because they see you as being a censor.
And that's what I think we found out with Jack from Twitter.
Jack Dorsey, when he came on and talked to me about it.
And when he brought Vij on, who's the lawyer.
neal brennan
Like censoring one is censoring one.
joe rogan
It's not smart.
It's not good.
It does the opposite of what you intended to do.
It makes the other side magnified.
It makes whoever you're censoring more popular.
It makes them an underdog.
And it also goes against core American values like the freedom of speech.
And I know that these are private institutions.
And I know that they're not necessarily forced to uphold what we do.
Determined as free speech in terms of how it's written in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
I get it.
I understand that.
But I think that the principles of human interaction on this planet are largely dictated by our ability to discuss things.
Even if you disagree.
neal brennan
I actually do agree with you that the...
I think like deplatforming and silencing and he's a...
Dangerous.
There are very few people that...
Well, there's no one that I agree with 100% of the time.
joe rogan
Right.
neal brennan
Even yourself.
Yes, including your joke about, like, you don't agree with yourself.
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't.
neal brennan
I don't.
joe rogan
That's real.
neal brennan
Yeah, well, that's also, there's something Buddhist about it, which is, like, your thoughts are not correct.
joe rogan
Right.
neal brennan
They're not even your thoughts.
joe rogan
And they're dependent upon your emotions sometimes.
neal brennan
Yes.
joe rogan
They're dependent upon your stress levels.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, sometimes you just don't have it in you.
You're like, stop!
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
And other times, the same situation, you'd be super calm and reasonable and maybe you could turn it around.
neal brennan
Yeah, if you've eaten.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, I saw a thing yesterday.
Doctors are worse in the afternoon.
joe rogan
Oh, I'm sure.
neal brennan
Judges are worse.
joe rogan
I've heard surgeries.
You should always get surgeries in the morning.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
But the right-wing thing is just an easy way to dismiss me.
Because I'm not right-wing.
If you ask me my positions on things, it's very left-wing.
The only thing that I vary with the orthodoxy is with the Second Amendment, with gun rights.
I don't think it's just that simple.
I know a lot of really good people that have guns.
I know a lot of really good people that never shoot anybody that have guns to protect themselves.
And to label everyone the same is just like labeling everyone who drives a car the same as those incels that drove into people in Montreal or wherever.
We have a real problem labeling people and labeling people with it's lazy and it's an attempt to marginalize or dismiss their positions.
neal brennan
And it also feels good to do it.
It feels good to like, guess what?
Writing them off.
I'm superior.
I have a very clear moral view.
I'm taking out one of my moral paintbrushes and zoom.
You are that.
joe rogan
I mean, even if it's not a moral position, even if, like, that Neil Brennan, he's such a left-wing cuck.
He's a this and a that, and boom, there you go.
I got him in a box, I'm going to put a ribbon on it, ship him off.
neal brennan
So you've read the comments when I'm on the show.
joe rogan
Cancelled.
You're cancelled, I heard.
So I brought up that makeup boy, and the makeup boy my daughter's in love with, she watches this makeup boy on YouTube, and now he's been cancelled.
I understand.
He lost $3 million.
And she was telling me, to have an 11-year-old sit down and tell you about a gay makeup artist.
And this is the funny part.
She goes, well, there was a couple things.
Okay.
So, there was the thing with, he has a friend who, and he tells me this woman's name, who got him into the business.
And then she asked him to promote her hair stuff, but he said no, and he went with another hair stuff.
So he totally, totally betrayed her.
It's like my 11-year-old's telling me this.
And then, this was the best part, she goes, there was also some talk that he's gay and there was boys that were not gay and he tried to get them to be in a room with him.
It's like listening to an 11-year-old tell me the shit.
neal brennan
Well, by the way, that also could have been...
That's the tone of the internet, anyway, as an 11-year-old girl.
joe rogan
It is.
neal brennan
I'm not in touch.
At least it came from an 11-year-old girl instead of like, so-and-so's canceled.
You can read everything.
Like, yeah, no, you're a fucking 40-year-old adult.
unidentified
Why are you talking like a little girl?
neal brennan
You're on BuzzFeed.
You're on Fox.
Like, is he in the point where the New York Times is going to be doing that?
joe rogan
It's close to it now.
I mean, I think that...
neal brennan
Owns abortion, people.
joe rogan
What it is, is the media right now, especially journalism, they're fucking starving for hits.
It's so hard to make money.
It's so hard.
And so they're drowning.
And so they're trying to grab whatever branches they can.
If they gotta make a good story with a clickbaity title, fuck it.
They'll have that deceptive title.
Who gives a shit?
We got a good story.
The story's vetted.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
And even if it's not totally vetted, if it's a little slippery, but you can make an amendment later, you know, I'm sorry, we have a little bit of an apology, we have to make a retraction.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Nobody reads those goddamn retractions.
neal brennan
No.
joe rogan
I mean, you should have to have a retract.
If you fuck up so hardcore that you attribute a crime to someone or you do something like that, you have to make a retraction.
It should be on the front page of your paper and nothing else for a month.
That's it.
This is your newspaper now.
I'm sorry.
We don't get to tell you the news anymore because we fucked this up so hard that we printed out to millions of people.
You don't get to just put in a little column in the corner.
We'd like to apologize.
neal brennan
We fucked up last month.
Also, 9-11 happened.
Also, planes run into the World Trade Center.
joe rogan
It's fucking too hard to be a journalist, man.
neal brennan
This is another thing I want to talk to you about, which is absolute Meaning, if you believe, like, I still believe in, like, institutional journalists.
I believe in New York Times, I believe in Washington Post.
And you used the fact that they wrote about a UFC fight, they just said he was bloody, or the McGregor fight, where he was bloody and he wasn't.
joe rogan
It was just a bad, very bad description.
It was very inaccurate.
I'm like, why would you do that?
You guys are crazy that the New York Times is allowing this completely inaccurate description of something that millions of people saw.
It's so silly.
And it makes everybody question everything else you say.
And you might think it's trivial because it's just a boxing match.
But it's completely inaccurate.
And completely exaggerating what actually went down.
neal brennan
Well, you've had articles written about you.
They fuck up everyone.
Now, having said that...
We can't dismiss all of journalism.
There needs to be an absolute, kind of an absolute truth, and that's what I feel like is sort of melting in this era of anyone who's like, well, they said this, and that's not true, so everything else they say is fucking bullshit.
joe rogan
Right.
Of course.
neal brennan
Which I think Trump does a lot.
And I think people are all too happy to believe it because they resent institutions.
They resent these smarty-pants motherfuckers, which I also get.
I get the impulse.
joe rogan
Especially some of the New York Times, right?
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's the smartiest.
The old gray lady.
neal brennan
Yeah.
And it just plays on every stereotype.
There are so many stereotypes at work that can make you write it off.
joe rogan
I think we're in a transitionary period.
That's what I think.
neal brennan
What do you think it gets replaced by them?
joe rogan
That's the real problem.
The real problem is they have all their pieces, all the best journalists, right?
All the best people.
Are all locked into two ancient systems.
One ancient system is print medium, the other ancient system is broadcast medium.
The broadcast medium, the ancient part of it is, it has to go on at a certain time, Tuesdays at 8pm, and then you have to sit there and wait for commercials unless you DVR it, right?
So that's inherently flawed.
And then the print medium, well, they figured out a way to get it on your laptop and your phone now.
So, okay.
They've got a little bit of a workaround there, but they have a really hard time getting people to sign up for digital subscriptions.
The distribution's not nearly as good as it used to be.
And it's hard.
It's hard to get people to buy newspapers.
But at least they've got their foot in the door with Clickbait titles.
neal brennan
And I think the Times and the Post are pretty successful online.
joe rogan
They're actually doing much better because of President Trump.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Because he talks so much shit about them that people actually said, I need to support.
neal brennan
Like, what?
unidentified
The New York Times, what is it?
neal brennan
Well, they needed to support it.
unidentified
Yeah, I'll check it out.
joe rogan
Because they're like, fuck, man.
This guy's literally trying to take down the Times.
It's so irresponsible.
He's trying to take out the New York Times.
neal brennan
That's what I think might happen with abortion, where it's like, oh, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't even want to get it.
But if this is where you motherfuckers were headed...
Because they were being held back.
It was like, motherfucker, I'll fuck you up!
And then they got free, and now they're beating the shit out of abortion.
People are like, whoa.
joe rogan
Accidental pregnancies are the real problem.
Obviously, abortion is the solution, right?
If you have to, if you want to do it.
But the accidental pregnancy is the real fucking problem.
It should be, it's one of the things that I talked about with Jesse Itzel, who was on the other day, we were talking about genetic engineering.
So they're gonna eventually one day move away from sex for procreation.
And sex is just gonna be for fun.
It's just gonna be people bonding and joining each other's bodies.
That's not gonna be how we procreate.
We're gonna procreate through some sort of enhanced genetic process. - You like a girl, you make a call. - Well, it'll certainly drastically reduce the amount of people that have kids, you know?
neal brennan
So does everyone, do you freeze your eggs and, like, we give sperm?
joe rogan
I don't know how they're going to do it.
I don't know how they're going to do it.
I mean, I think there's also the problem that the baby supposedly bonds inside the mother's body.
Like, to have a baby grow up in some sort of a fucking weird electronic womb and then you make that kid a fucking sociopath.
neal brennan
Right.
joe rogan
He has no connection to people when he's born.
He doesn't give a fuck just But it'll be, yeah.
neal brennan
I mean, there was that test tube baby thing, which I think started before me, but I remember that being an insult.
joe rogan
They put the baby in the body, though.
They put the embryos in the person's body.
neal brennan
There is the thing of surrogates.
joe rogan
Yes.
neal brennan
So who do they bond with?
joe rogan
That's a weird one, man.
Like, that's the Kim Kardashian way now, right?
She's having a bunch of babies with surrogates.
Like, you know, you show up for the wedding, or you show up for the birth in a fucking tight skirt, and you're like, yay, my baby's being born today.
Like, what?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What?
You have your clothes on.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
What is happening here?
Yeah.
neal brennan
No, I got to hire somebody.
joe rogan
My friend actually did that.
neal brennan
I got a girl on it.
joe rogan
My friend actually did that.
He's gay.
And he and his husband, they mix their sperm.
They shot it in a turkey baster or something into some gal.
neal brennan
I don't know how to do it.
I might be making this up.
You don't follow science too tight.
joe rogan
Anyway, she got pregnant, their surrogate got pregnant, had the baby and decided to keep it.
Decided she couldn't part with it.
And it's their baby.
So it's their DNA and mixed with hers.
And she decided to keep it and she got away with it.
neal brennan
Did they sue her or they just were like...
joe rogan
I don't know.
I don't know.
I didn't want to push.
They were very upset and then they wound up getting another surrogate and then having a child and everything worked out.
This was quite a while ago.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
But they were really bummed out, man.
I mean, they were ready to be parents.
unidentified
But then, you know, some people say, well, they were never going to be parents in the first place because they're gay and they didn't even have sex with her.
neal brennan
Right.
joe rogan
But it is their baby, right?
It's their DNA that made that baby.
They didn't adopt a child.
neal brennan
Right.
joe rogan
They chose to have a surrogate.
Right.
neal brennan
Yeah, no, it's complicated, and it's getting...
Well, that's the thing of, like, it feels like the level of danger and difficulty in the world is just getting steeper by the day.
We're like, wait, what?
And then there's always global warming, and you're like, oh, fuck!
Fuck!
joe rogan
Did you see fucking the science guy, Bill Nye, going crazy, screaming and yelling and swearing?
Yeah, the planet's on fucking fire, and he's getting a little silly.
neal brennan
Yeah, I know.
joe rogan
I'm like, bro, we're all right.
Go to Antarctica.
Plants on fire, bro.
neal brennan
No, I saw a thing that Antarctica was like 84 degrees.
joe rogan
Oh my god, it's on fire.
neal brennan
I mean, yeah.
joe rogan
Is it really?
Do you really see something that said Antarctica was 84 degrees?
neal brennan
Yeah, something in the Arctic Circle's 84 degrees, like three days ago.
joe rogan
What the fuck is that?
What the fuck?
neal brennan
It's gonna be a...
It's gonna be...
Do you ever think about like...
Global warming?
But really what it will look like.
Yeah.
Like in 70 years...
What it will do to the art...
Like...
And I'm not talking about just...
Miami's gone.
That's incredibly crazy to think about.
It's unfathomable.
joe rogan
Those Miami people, they're going to move other places and ruin them.
neal brennan
That's my biggest worry.
joe rogan
Everywhere he goes, it's going to be Lamborghinis, dudes yelling at girls in Spanish.
neal brennan
Eating outside.
Everyone's fucking eating outside.
But like, would you fucking get indoors, you maniac?
joe rogan
It's a party, though.
neal brennan
A lot of salsa.
joe rogan
I love going there.
neal brennan
Salsa in like North Carolina.
Like, get the fuck out of here.
Salsa dancing.
Get the fuck out of here with the fucking...
That's a good bit.
joe rogan
They're like another country that's attached to Florida.
neal brennan
Yeah.
It's like Europe...
It's, I always say, it's like people, you see like Italian people like in Beverly Hills or Miami, and I always say to my friend, those are people that were too douchey for Italy.
And they're like, oh, we gotta take it to the next douchey level.
Miami!
And then they go...
Yeah, but you think about like, not like 28 days later, but like...
You know?
joe rogan
Like Mad Max.
neal brennan
Huge, like, scary, fucking scary.
Especially because we're going to be near dead, and no disrespect, you're not going to be in the same shape you're in now.
And you're not, I mean, people may give you respect, but, like, it's going to be fucking scary.
joe rogan
We're going to have to move to the mountains.
Where would you move?
The shit hit the fan.
neal brennan
Somebody, Sam, what's Callan's friend Sam, Fighter's Mind?
joe rogan
Sam Cedar?
neal brennan
No, Sam, the Fighter's Mind, he wrote.
joe rogan
Goddammit, how can I not remember his name?
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Hold on a second.
I'll tell you real quick.
neal brennan
This is going to be worth it, guys.
Listeners, this is...
jamie vernon
Sam Sheridan.
neal brennan
Sam Sheridan, that's right.
joe rogan
Sam Sheridan.
neal brennan
Thank you.
Told me 10 years ago and stuck with me.
Go to the marina.
Because I live in Venice.
He's like, go to the marina and basically just get...
Basically, you've got to pay to get on a boat or just be like, I will be...
The hard part is, how do I qualify to, like, I can help you with that?
unidentified
Right, right.
neal brennan
Because I get seasick.
Here's what I have going for me.
Why a boat?
Because you just get away.
You get away from anyone.
You get away from, in LA's case, millions and millions of people.
And you can, if there's an attacker, you can see them.
You assume that they're not going to be like, you know, SEAL teams coming onto your boat.
joe rogan
Attackers.
neal brennan
I know, but that's what I mean.
Like, how crazy could it get?
Yeah.
joe rogan
You gotta go to Alaska.
neal brennan
How do you get there?
joe rogan
It's a good call.
Can you drive?
neal brennan
Airport's closed.
joe rogan
It's connected, right?
You could drive.
neal brennan
You could technically drive, yeah.
joe rogan
Technically?
jamie vernon
They cut off that road all the time in the Napa Valley because the landslide will shut off the road.
unidentified
Oh, yeah.
jamie vernon
If that happens, good luck.
Where the fuck are you going to go?
joe rogan
Then you're fucked.
neal brennan
Yeah.
It's like Burr's got the helicopter, but he's got to go to get it.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
That's his escape.
joe rogan
He had a great bit about that, his black and white special.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, I would move north.
I'd probably move somewhere that was, if I could just go to a place, if I knew I just had to get to a place, I would go to a place that is sustainable.
Like, whether it's Alaska, or Minnesota, or Michigan, somewhere there's a lot of animals, and there's wildlife, and you have cold, you have water, you have a lot, like, cold is better than heat, because cold you can make a fire.
Like, if you have shelter and you can make a fire in the cold, you can live.
neal brennan
I have a counter-argument, which is, I don't...
The cold kills more people than heat.
joe rogan
Sure, it does.
Hypothermia, it does.
But that's just because, you know, people are unprepared for it.
You can prepare for cold with clothing.
You can't really prepare for heat with clothing.
With heat, you need air conditioning, and you need water.
Those are two things that are critical.
unidentified
Or at least shade.
joe rogan
Yeah, you need something.
People that have lived in very cold climates, as long as they have a good house and they have a good supply of wood, they're fine.
If you live in the desert, man, you're kind of fucked.
You're kind of fucked if the power goes out.
You don't really have anything to keep you cool.
You have to stay in the shade and stay indoors, but it's not good enough when it's 110 degrees inside and it's 125, 130 outside.
neal brennan
If you're hydrated, though, I don't think you will just die from heat exposure.
joe rogan
No, you won't, but you're not going to find a lot of water.
One of the problems with global warming is going to be that things like lakes, lakes and streams, there's going to be less.
There's going to be less water.
There's going to be less dribbling down through the creeks.
Creeks are going to dry up.
Streams will dry up.
You're going to have a hard time getting water if you're in a desert environment.
neal brennan
If you have, by the same token, if you have as much water as you have wood, obviously it's not a one-to-one analogy because you can go get more wood easily.
But if you had a shitload of water, right?
If you just had like...
I hear your thought about getting cold, but I don't know.
If I had shade, I guess with cold you don't have to have electricity.
joe rogan
You don't have to have electricity with cold, and also you have more of an opportunity to find animals.
You'll find more animals in cold climates than you're going to find in hot climates.
neal brennan
More delicious animals, for sure.
joe rogan
Yeah, more things to eat.
But you could still easily starve to death.
The idea that it's easy to go out there and shoot a bunch of animals and eat them all the time, Not most places.
Most places you don't have an abundant enough supply of wildlife.
neal brennan
You're also a guy who does archery.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
You have skills for this.
joe rogan
And I would still be panicked.
I'd be like, fuck, this is not good.
If I had to feed my family with a bow and arrow, first of all, I'd say, okay, how many arrows do I have?
I would have to make sure that I have enough arrows.
I mean, you'd have to practice, too.
Archery's not something like a rifle.
If I have...
A hundred rounds.
I can kill a hundred things.
I don't really need to practice that much if my rifle's not off.
I can...
I have good trigger discipline.
I'll pull through the shot.
I'll try not to flinch.
And I'm not going to take any...
neal brennan
Literally, the two of those three things, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
joe rogan
When you're shooting, you don't want to anticipate.
neal brennan
Right.
joe rogan
You don't want to anticipate.
neal brennan
I go...
joe rogan
You don't want to flinch when the trigger goes off.
So a lot of guys like Tim Kennedy, who's a friend of mine, who's one of the baddest motherfuckers in the world, he'll practice with dummy rounds.
So he has regular bullets and then four bullets are just not real bullets.
So it's like bang, bang, bang, click!
And then he has to get rid of that bullet.
But at least he knows if he was flinching.
Because if you're flinching, you'll see this movement where there's no gun goes off, the bullet doesn't go off, but you make that weird move because you're anticipating the shot.
neal brennan
And that's the way to train yourself out of it?
joe rogan
Yeah, you have to do something like that.
You have to have what's called trigger discipline.
Well, first of all, trigger discipline means don't put your finger on the trigger, but also the way you squeeze.
You've got to just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and let the shot go off by surprise and not react to it.
It's the same thing with a bow and arrow.
You have to have a surprise shot.
You want to concentrate on the target, zone it in.
neal brennan
Which feels like you kind of can't even be there, meaning you just have to be like, I'm doing a thing.
joe rogan
Yep.
neal brennan
Like, you can't think about the release.
You have to just think about the target.
joe rogan
That's very astute of you.
There's actually courses.
There's a guy named Joel Turner who has this whole course called Shot IQ. He teaches first responders, like SWAT teams and shit, about trigger discipline and about how to shoot properly under pressure.
And he works with people with archery with the same thing because it's a psychological thing.
But my point is, with a bow and arrow, you're kind of fucked.
You need a lot of goddamn arrows.
You need to make sure that bow's going to stay okay.
neal brennan
And an animal, too.
Like a deer or bear would be the most edible things.
joe rogan
Yeah, you want a bear.
If you have a bear, you could eat that motherfucker for a long time.
And you could take that fat, and you could render the fat down, and use it for cooking, and use it for...
You know, you could do a lot of things with it.
And that meat is a lot of meat.
Anything big.
You want a big animal.
Because you want to be able to dry it out, make jerky.
You want to have something that's going to sustain you for a few days or weeks until you find another animal.
You're going to want to dig a hole in the ground to make some sort of cold storage.
You want to get below, like, the frost line.
neal brennan
Yeah, because you've got to protect it from other bears.
joe rogan
Yeah, you're going to have to do a lot of things.
And you're probably not going to make enough food.
neal brennan
It sounds hard.
joe rogan
It's the hardest.
Every time I go on a hunting trip, I always think, like, imagine if this is the only way I could get food.
It's so goddamn hard to get close to an animal.
It's so hard.
People see videos of it, like on YouTube, and there's the deer, and you draw your bow back, and you hit it in the heart, and the deer's down, and everybody celebrates.
What you don't see is days and days of hiking.
All day long, just go.
If you could watch from a live stream of the moment a hunt starts to the moment you're successful, and you just sat through the whole thing like it's a fucking Games of Thrones marathon, then you would understand it.
But even then, you wouldn't really, because you wouldn't be out there in the cold, exhausted, hiking uphill, going thousands of feet up and down at elevation, and then the wind shifts and the deer smells you and it darts off, you're like...
Fuck!
It's hard, man.
neal brennan
It's, like, tedious.
joe rogan
And to survive off of that?
See, I'm doing it for my own food, but if I don't get a deer, I'm gonna live.
I'll go to a restaurant.
If your only option is deer that you catch and kill and find and shoot...
neal brennan
And your daughter's sick.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
neal brennan
And you gotta fucking catch a deer.
joe rogan
That's when you wonder.
You know, you wonder, how am I gonna watch them starve to death?
neal brennan
That must have been really exciting for Native Americans or just any ancient people of just like getting like you know I think we could kill a buffalo.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
If we all like we all have to be fed like we all have to team up and that's why humans have survived but like It must have been so fucking like a celebration, like an Ewok celebration.
joe rogan
You know what's crazy?
To this day, there are these areas where they find a lot of arrowheads because they would drive these buffalo off cliffs.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
What fucking nuts is that?
They know the spots where they would drive them off cliffs and fall down.
And sometimes the bodies would decay because they didn't eat all of it.
They couldn't.
There'd be a hundred buffalo fly off a cliff.
There's only a thousand Native Americans in this spot.
What the fuck are they going to do?
They're going to eat as much as they can.
unidentified
How are we going to get rid of this meat?
joe rogan
But the rotten ones literally exploded and caused a forest fire in one area.
They think a forest fire was caused by a rotting pile of buffalo that eventually exploded.
neal brennan
Like a whale explosion kind of thing?
joe rogan
Yeah, like that kind of deal.
Google that.
Make sure that's not horse shit, because it sounds like a lie coming out of my mouth.
They believe that a rotting pile of bison was responsible for starting a fire.
Because they found all this charred stuff, and they were trying to piece it together, if I remember the story properly.
And I think they were like, this might have happened because the bodies rotted so much they exploded.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And it started to fall.
Because it's like you have the gases from all this rotting tissue.
You know whales explode on the beach.
They splatter on people.
neal brennan
Fantastic.
joe rogan
So they're trying to take this to a next level.
How much heat would be generated by all this bacteria?
What kind of explosion could this make?
neal brennan
Yeah, and also, why would the explosion...
Is it a spark?
Do you know what I mean?
I would assume it's gooey.
joe rogan
Methane gases and rotten gases.
neal brennan
Yeah, like there would have to be someone to ignite it.
joe rogan
You know those little arrowheads that they find, you're supposed to leave them in a lot of places.
If you find them, you're supposed to leave them there.
neal brennan
Just for like luck or something?
joe rogan
You go fuck yourself.
I ain't leaving shit.
neal brennan
Oh, yeah.
joe rogan
If I find an arrowhead, like, oh, you have to leave it.
neal brennan
I know where it's going.
It's fucking going up there.
joe rogan
Yeah, where is it going?
If I leave it, someone else is going to pick it up.
unidentified
I'm picking it up.
neal brennan
Yeah, have a good person pick it up.
joe rogan
You have to leave it.
You have to leave it here.
No, no, no.
You can't have it.
neal brennan
Is that like the Parks Commission or Native Americans?
unidentified
I don't know.
joe rogan
When I was hunting in Nevada, they said that.
If you found out in Arrowhead, you had to leave it there.
I was like, huh, okay.
neal brennan
Oh, you know what I haven't talked to you about?
What?
Doing these big venues.
joe rogan
Oh, arenas.
unidentified
Yeah.
Weird.
neal brennan
How do you like it?
joe rogan
It's fun, man.
San Diego is a lot of fun.
It's strange, though.
It's a lot of goddamn people.
neal brennan
Does it feel like...
Disconnected?
joe rogan
No.
No, it didn't, surprisingly.
San Diego's interesting.
The people that were in the front, they were right there, man.
unidentified
How many is it?
neal brennan
7,000?
joe rogan
No.
San Diego was 12-something.
Almost 13. Close to 13,000.
neal brennan
That's unbelievable.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's a lot of people.
neal brennan
And it was in the round?
joe rogan
Yeah.
That was weird, too.
neal brennan
And did you have a plan?
unidentified
Nope.
joe rogan
I did a lot of sets.
neal brennan
I guess you can't really think about...
You can't worry about the people that are behind you.
joe rogan
You can't.
Well, they have giant screens everywhere, so everybody got to see you.
I definitely was aware of the magnitude of the show, and I did a lot of sets that week.
I did like eight, nine sets that week before I did it.
neal brennan
The funny thing was, I didn't understand.
I was like...
How is he not selling this out?
And then I saw it and he was like, oh, it's a fucking arena.
I was like, I thought Joe was as popular as he's ever been.
And then I'm like, why is this guy posting so much?
And then I'm like, oh, because he's doing a stadium.
unidentified
It's a giant ass place.
joe rogan
Yeah.
It's hard to get that last thousand.
neal brennan
I know, and you're still, you can't, I don't know if it's the human mind or the competitive comedy mind, but you want that fucking thousand.
joe rogan
You want to hear sold out.
neal brennan
Yeah, like doesn't like, yeah, but you don't want to go, saw Joe Rogan, 12,000 people, yeah, but what's it hold?
joe rogan
12,900.
neal brennan
Yeah, oh, what a pussy.
joe rogan
You can't even get 900 more people to like you, bro.
neal brennan
And you would, not you would think it's a failure, but you would always be like, yeah.
joe rogan
Josh Wolfe showed me a picture once of him on stage opening up for Larry the Cable Guy in front of 50,000.
unidentified
Jesus.
joe rogan
He did a football stadium.
neal brennan
Jesus.
joe rogan
Get her done!
neal brennan
Well, that's what Kevin Hart does those big, I mean...
joe rogan
He did one of his Netflix specials.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
With like 49,000 people.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Something fucking insane.
neal brennan
I mean, I wouldn't want to see that show.
I wouldn't want to go to the third balcony...
Like, what do you even...
I mean, I don't know.
People like communal experiences like that.
joe rogan
Yes, I think that's a good way to put it.
neal brennan
But, like, when a venue's 50,000, you're just far away.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
But I guess if you like the...
joe rogan
And everyone's in there together.
neal brennan
You've created a culture.
So people go to be a part of the culture.
Kevin's created a culture.
Larry the Cable Guy created a culture.
So people go.
It's like to be around their brothers and sisters, kind of.
Kind of.
I mean, straight up, though.
Not like it's even intentional.
That's the thing I like about podcasting as a successful medium, and your podcast in particular, is the shit you're into comedy...
You're into fucking weed.
You're into UFOs and the unexplained.
You're into government conspiracies.
You're into gender issues.
You're legitimately into all this stuff.
And you created a tent.
Where everybody feels like, welcome.
Like, hey, he's gonna talk about the thing that I'm...
Like, you're interested in a lot of shit, genuinely.
You're not going, I'm only interested in comedy or more niche about it.
You just, like, this shit you're into.
You're into inventions and fire and guns and hunting.
You're just into a bunch of shit, legitimately, and you express it and people...
Love it.
joe rogan
Well, that's the difference between actually being into shit and talking about the things you're into versus talking about the things you think will be popular.
neal brennan
Right.
Yeah.
You can't do that for...
I guess you could.
I can't think of anyone off the top of my head who that would be.
joe rogan
It would be obvious that you weren't really tuned in.
You wouldn't be really interested in it.
You're not...
You wouldn't be as enthusiastic.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
No way.
neal brennan
And you are genuinely...
You only have on people that you genuinely like or genuinely interested in.
And it doesn't matter if they're famous, not famous.
Like, whatever.
Controversial, not controversial.
Like...
It's just shit that you're into.
You're expressing...
Another reason why I like podcasts, it's like watching someone exist.
joe rogan
Yeah, right?
neal brennan
And it's like an expression of your subconscious or your brain.
It's like the typical day in your brain of just like, I like this, and then I go over here, and then I go...
And you've been able to do it in a way, which is why it's so...
It is popular, but it's not even the right word.
It's resonant with people.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think for a long time, people have been doing shows where the show was produced, and there's a bunch of people behind the scenes, and whatever that person is, it's almost more difficult for them to get their personality to shine through all that shit.
But if it's just stuff that you're really interested in, then people get a better sense.
neal brennan
And it's also people you like, and then Segura takes off, and Bert takes off, and...
Who am I forgetting?
Joey takes off.
I didn't know how long you've been friends with Joey.
joe rogan
Joey and I have been friends for 23 years.
neal brennan
Yeah.
Theo, guys that you just genuinely like.
Even the Sober October thing.
The numbers are massive.
It's like a show.
Everybody's a character.
And it's like an old radio play.
Like, here comes fucking Burt Kreischer.
You think he's got something called the Mickey Mantle gene?
What the hell is the Mickey Mantle gene?
Like, everybody's got, like, it's set up, and it's not, like, it's sloppy in a fun way.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
And it's cool, and you get to reap all the reward.
All the guys that are responsible for the...
Because the other thing is, this is the first time, certainly in media history, where guys are in charge of their own everything.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's true.
neal brennan
Like, you own the label.
I mean, there's not even a label.
It's just my thing.
Artists tried, like the Beatles had a record label, and they would bring people on, and then they would...
It always got fucked up.
Every single time.
And this, I feel like, is the first time where it's like, Segura's got his umbrella now, he's got his spinoffs, and it's fucking excellent.
It's just excellent.
It's so great...
I was talking to a guy who used to be in charge at Viacom, and we were talking about...
When people do shows now, they'll pay Kenny Barris, they'll pay Shonda Rhimes, they'll pay Dave, Alan, Chris, all these guys, like $20 million.
The writers get $100 million.
Buddy of mine, Mike Schur, created Good Place and Parks and Rec, and he's getting $25 million a year for the next five years.
Jesus Christ.
And his shows aren't hits.
His shows are picked up and successful, but they're not like cheers, right?
Wow.
And I said to Doug Herzog, I go, how much were you fucking guys making before?
What were these companies making 20 years ago?
Like, what was ABC making 20 years ago?
And even Seinfeld said that he's like, I was the first one to get a million an episode.
And I go, which is a pittance compared to what they could have paid you.
And he's like, I know that now, but back then a million dollars in...
What are you even going to do with it?
And now it's like, what are they going to do with it?
What the fuck?
They were making $100 million an episode, but because it's a logo and a corporation, you go, well, that's what a corporation is supposed to make.
$100 million an episode.
Meanwhile, if a guy makes a million, you're like, what are you going to?
It's like this unfathomable thing.
It's like where they get mad at basketball players and not the owners of the teams.
joe rogan
Yeah, and it's also that distribution model of putting something on a network.
There's so much fat.
There's so many people.
There's so many things that you have to pay.
There's so many different places the money goes.
It's almost like you have to make $100 million an episode for everybody to make out.
neal brennan
Yeah, but also...
No, they don't.
But also, they're still taking 90. You know what I mean?
Even with all the revenues, with all the...
All the miles I got to feed, it's still like a huge profit.
joe rogan
But as a writer, don't you think that like investing your time and effort into a sitcom today, it's like, oof, good luck with that.
neal brennan
I don't, dude, like, I just started, we used to do the podcast, made motion to this podcast called The Champs, it was great, and now I just started one like a month ago called How Neil Feel, look for it in your local things.
How Neil Feel?
How Neil Feel, that's the name of the podcast.
Got a theme song and everything.
It's very stupid.
I did a pilot like a year ago for a network, and they gave me notes, and I was like, oh, I forgot about notes.
I forgot that they were going to give me notes.
That was always the thing that me and Dave got to with Comedy Central, and they finally left us alone after like six episodes.
Where I was like, let us show it to the audience and let them decide.
We don't want to bomb.
We want to bomb less than you guys do.
Trust me.
Trust me.
You've never met two people who want to bomb less than me and him.
And so they'd be like, well, we don't.
And they're like, let's show it to the crowd.
If they like it.
Then great.
And if they don't, then...
And we did this real world sketch.
And they didn't.
They were like, we just think it's a bunch of unfunny scenes back to back.
And we were like, let's just show it to the crowd.
And then we showed it killed.
And they were like, alright, we don't know what we're talking about.
They literally said, we don't know what we're talking about.
So do whatever you want.
joe rogan
It's a bunch of unfunny scenes.
unidentified
I know.
neal brennan
What a fucking...
unidentified
God!
Yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, those people.
neal brennan
But that's the...
I get that they feel like they have to do something.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
But...
neal brennan
We're...
Comedians are willing to, like, all our skins in the game.
It's all of our...
It's our hide every time.
So, why do you feel the need to, like, correct us or...
I don't mind if, like, an executive is, like, the first audience.
Do you know what I mean?
Or, like, hey, your shirt's fucked up.
Whatever.
Like, a minor stuff.
But it's, like, material-wise, most of you are not good at divining what's special about somebody or what's An innovative segment.
You know what I mean?
They don't even think about that.
They're ambitious people who are just working their way up a thing, and they're like, is it my turn yet?
Right, exactly.
I get to put my stamp on it now?
joe rogan
Yeah.
They want to add something, even if it's irrelevant.
neal brennan
Like, I had a joke when we were doing Half-Baked, and I'm going two for two with Dave, but we were doing Half-Baked, and I said to Dave, I go, we should do a thing at the end where we should just say, hey, let us do whatever we want, and at the end we'll pass a hat around, and you guys can take credit for something.
Because ultimately, that's what you want.
You want to be able to take credit for something.
Don't fucking make us do it.
I know you just want credit.
That's all you want.
You just want to feel good about yourself.
You want to feel like, I contributed to this thing.
But just let us do the thing.
You know what I mean?
And if you're like you, how long have you been doing the podcast?
joe rogan
Almost 10 years.
It'll be 10 years in December.
neal brennan
You're going to do a big network show?
Yeah, I'm going to go on AM radio.
That's hilarious.
joe rogan
I've been thinking about taking over an AM radio station for the day.
neal brennan
That's so funny.
That would be really fucking funny.
joe rogan
I wonder if they'd let me.
neal brennan
But even like in when we used to do it in your house.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Dude, that was a long time ago.
You were on an episode at least seven years ago.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
I did two in your house.
joe rogan
Yeah.
That was back when the kids would be in the background yelling at each other and shit.
You'd hear it in the hallway when they were little.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's crazy.
jamie vernon
Number 114. Wow.
neal brennan
Episode 114. So that's two years, a year and a half in?
joe rogan
Yeah, probably.
What is the episode now?
unidentified
This is 1298. That was 98?
No, this is number 1298. No, I was like, when is that?
joe rogan
Podcast didn't start.
jamie vernon
1100 episodes ago.
joe rogan
1100 episodes ago.
neal brennan
Yeah, and it's from...
Look at me.
I had a faux hawk.
joe rogan
Look at you, you beautiful bastard.
neal brennan
80% knows.
That was before I realized I should put a beard on, wear a little beard, wear a little scruff.
joe rogan
Podcasts are a very, very strange thing, man.
No one saw this coming, and everyone can start one.
neal brennan
But I don't even think...
You saw it coming.
Do you know what I mean?
I saw it coming.
joe rogan
I didn't see this.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Presidential candidates are on my fucking show.
I got Telsey Gabbard on yesterday.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Running for president.
neal brennan
Yeah, I didn't watch it, but yeah.
joe rogan
She wanted to talk about real issues that affect the world.
unidentified
I'm like, okay.
neal brennan
Yeah.
It's weird.
Yeah.
And I'm sure, do you feel, I mean, you kind of can't change your ethos.
You can't be like, I'm a role model and I need to.
joe rogan
No.
No, it's not.
No, no.
I'm just gonna be me, you know, and the world's gonna be weirder, but it's just me.
neal brennan
But it's also the thing of, like, when you're in these, like, development TV movie worlds, and you're like, just let me talk.
Just fucking let me...
Like, I promise it'll be interesting.
Like, it won't all be interesting, but it'll be...
joe rogan
Interesting enough.
neal brennan
It'll be interesting enough, often enough, that just let me talk.
joe rogan
Well, I couldn't imagine giving up that reigns to someone now.
Like if all of a sudden we brought in some sort of a producer or a network that's like, look, we're going to take this podcast to the next level.
But you've got to listen to me, Joe.
neal brennan
Yeah, Joe, a couple things.
joe rogan
That episode you did with Elon Musk, one of the great reasons that that show was very successful is the way you were dressed.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
I know you don't like to hear this.
neal brennan
We tested it.
joe rogan
Yeah, we tested it.
neal brennan
And it had nothing to do with him being weird and smoking weed and having a fucking, having a flamethrower.
joe rogan
You wore a nice pink shirt.
You wore a nice shirt.
I mean, is there even You could never test whether a podcast is going to be successful.
You couldn't organize it.
neal brennan
It's all word of mouth.
It's just weird fucking...
They like it.
unidentified
They like it.
joe rogan
Like a conversation like this with you and I. We're actual real friends.
So when we talk, it's very evident.
neal brennan
We have chemistry.
What's known as chemistry.
joe rogan
We like each other.
neal brennan
It's normal.
joe rogan
It's not like, what else?
Right.
So, are you enjoying your time here on this earth?
neal brennan
Well, that's the thing.
Doing...
So, doing this...
And I told...
I remember telling somebody, like, it's like doing The Tonight Show in 78. In terms of, like...
I was in...
Singapore and a guy came to the show who saw me on it.
It's not even worth knowing if you're you.
It's like, fucking, don't worry about it.
Just show up and talk.
joe rogan
I can't pay attention to that.
It'll be paralyzing.
neal brennan
Yeah, but the...
So I'm like, the funny thing is when you do TV, when you do something that's going to be seen or heard by this many people, like a TV show, if I do Seth or The Daily Show, like, I prep.
This, I'm like, fucking...
I don't know.
joe rogan
We talk about, like, so many times I run into you at the store, and we basically have, like, a 10-minute podcast in the hallway.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, we just start, and you'll say, have you seen this?
Like, you pull me aside, like, have you ever heard about ketamine?
unidentified
I'm like, what?
joe rogan
And then all of a sudden you're telling me you're taking ketamine sessions.
neal brennan
And that's the thing.
There's no, you can't prep, and it would be odd.
You couldn't explain it to people ten years ago.
Like, it'll just be people sitting and talking.
Comedians are, by nature, pretty entertaining.
joe rogan
At least pretty talkative.
neal brennan
Yeah, at least pretty talkative.
And on the high end, entertaining and funny.
joe rogan
Ari had the worst advice.
He's like, you gotta edit it.
Doing it for an hour.
Just do it one hour and edit it.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, alright.
neal brennan
No one's gonna listen in three hours.
Do you know when people turn it off or anything?
joe rogan
Nope.
I know that the average time that someone watches on YouTube, we know that.
Which is like, what?
jamie vernon
35 minutes or so.
joe rogan
35 minutes on YouTube, which is a lot.
neal brennan
Yeah.
Because the average is like 15 seconds.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
What's a normal average on YouTube?
jamie vernon
Three or four minutes, yeah.
For everyone that watches for 10 seconds, there's someone that watches for an hour and a half or three hours.
joe rogan
So the average would be like three or four minutes for a normal channel.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, you know...
The difference between something on YouTube and something that's a podcast that you're listening to, though, I think the people that are listening are, I don't want to say this, I don't know if it's really true, but they might be more invested in, like, because they're subscribing to it and they're listening to it in their car on the way to work.
They're listening to it a lot of times when they're at the gym people on YouTube can flip Yes Just decide to go to the next so what's this and that and then they get to you Don't get taken down a rabbit hole with podcast with audio podcast you just listen Yeah, you listen to the whole thing or you go to your one of your other Yeah, whereas YouTube like you could stumble upon this accidentally right now Someone might be stumbling upon this very video right now on YouTube welcome welcome Welcome, fuckface.
neal brennan
Welcome, friend.
joe rogan
The same for you, bitch.
neal brennan
The other thing you forget is how much people fucking drive.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
Where they're like, I'm in my car four hours a day.
You're like, what?
joe rogan
What?
neal brennan
And they're like, and you are their friend.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's weird.
neal brennan
Do you know what I mean?
Like, you're there, whether you, it's like you don't know them, but you, they really like you and they feel like they have a connection with you.
joe rogan
Yeah, and all the other people, like you and Theo and Delia, whoever's here, you know, people that come in.
Yeah, and then those people become characters in their little world play as well.
neal brennan
Yeah, like you'll see it in the comments, like, this fucking skinny fuck is, like, literally, like, this skinny fuck is bad.
joe rogan
Do you read the comments?
neal brennan
No, well, the last time I did it, the comments were so bad.
But I didn't even...
You texted me.
I was like, boy, they must be very bad.
Because you were like, we did something right.
Or something.
I was like, well, they must be awful.
And then...
Because I know what they're going to say.
It's like, what do you think I'm dumb?
I'm not a dumb...
You've got to say whatever you think of me.
I'm not dumb.
So I disagree with you politically.
Alright.
joe rogan
See, that's one of the reasons why I bring people on that I don't agree with.
I think it's important to have conversations with people, whether on the left or the right, that you don't agree with, just to find out who they are and what they think.
And just to have discussions with people.
neal brennan
It's also like testing your own feelings about it.
joe rogan
100%.
neal brennan
Just like, okay, no, that's...
Alright, I still feel...
Having heard arguably their best argument or a very cogent argument for their side, and you go, yep, I think that...
I think one of the things that's lost in the world now is because of...
Partially because of the internet or blog or whatever, where you have to be 100% in every belief.
And it's like, I'm not 100% in any belief.
There are some beliefs where I say that I'm 51%, but that still wins.
51% is still the thing I tell you.
Whereas people can't believe...
You either got to be 100% or you're a cuck or you're a fucking stud.
And there's no like, yeah, abortion's a perfect example where we're both like, I'm for it, but it's pretty brutal.
Or it's a severe thing.
Or whatever the but, and you're not allowed to have a but anymore.
You just can't go, I have a measured point of view and I took the vote in my head and it's 70-30.
joe rogan
And you're not And if you change your mind somehow, I know that's bad.
Someone said, well, not just one person.
Many people said, you flip-flop on things.
Like, no, I consider things.
neal brennan
And I changed my perspective.
Yeah, and it's also not...
When politicians do it, it's because it's politically going to work in their favor.
You do it because you've thought more about it, or you heard the right argument at the right time, and you just go, okay.
joe rogan
Yeah, I change my opinions all the time.
I'm not married to those fucking things.
I don't need them.
My opinions are just...
Ideas, in my mind, are something that should be explored.
And there's certain ideas that I just hold steadfast.
Don't rape.
Don't murder people.
Don't steal.
All the obvious ones.
Everybody holds those.
But then when it gets to unusual, weird, slippery things...
I'm like, okay, why is there an inclination to lean towards a certain direction?
Are we virtue signaling?
Are we sending out the flag of tribal obedience?
What are we doing when we're discussing these things?
And a lot of that is what ruins discourse.
And this is what I think I have a real big problem with de-platforming.
When you start de-platforming people and censoring people, you don't just want to not hear them.
You want no one to hear them.
And this is where I have a problem.
It's because...
Who the fuck are you?
Like, why are you the one who gets to say...
Even if they're wrong.
Even if they're wrong.
Let everybody figure out who they're wrong.
neal brennan
It's misinformation.
That's the thing.
It's like Pizzagate or like the Alex Jones thing where it's like, dude, what the fuck are you...
What are you doing?
joe rogan
Pizzagate is a good example, right?
Because people get ramped up in it.
They're like, what?
And there was that guy, Ben Swan, who was a journalist who had all these...
He had this video that he put out that showed all the different connections with Pizzagate and various conspiracies and pedophilia.
And it was a real weird one.
And everybody was like, what?
Just because these things are...
It doesn't mean there's a pedophile ring going on there.
What exactly is happening there?
But then you hear about someone like Jimmy Savile, and you go, wait a minute, wait a minute.
This guy was fucking kids for how long?
Are there any other ones right now that they haven't exposed?
You know what I mean?
That kind of shit does haunt you.
neal brennan
I think there's a ton of distance between There are pedophiles and there are pedophiles in the pizza place.
joe rogan
In the basement.
neal brennan
I believe there's pedophiles and that they should be stopped and they're mostly...
I don't think none of them are powerful, but I don't think that there is a...
I just don't really buy into conspiracies, just generally.
joe rogan
See, I buy into some.
Because there's some of them that are provable.
There's some of them that really did happen where you go, Jesus Christ, they really did that.
neal brennan
Oh, yeah.
I mean, like in third world countries where we'll fuck with elections, the shit like that.
Like, that is, yeah.
Like, that's not even a conspiracy.
That's just like a poorly told part of history.
joe rogan
Well, there's things like the Gulf of Tonkin incident.
neal brennan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I think that's...
Well, I think that's...
Yeah.
joe rogan
Do you know about the Operation Northwoods?
Do you know about that one?
neal brennan
I don't know.
joe rogan
That one's probably the most disturbing one.
Because that one was signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
They were going to organize a bunch of attacks on America and blame the Cubans so that we could go to war with Cuba.
They were going to To arm Cuban friendlies and have them attack Guantanamo Bay.
They were going to blow up a jetliner and blame it on Cuba.
They had all these plans.
And it was signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff and then vetoed by Kennedy.
He was like, what the fuck are you people doing?
neal brennan
Yeah, like, what were you guys doing?
joe rogan
You guys are so crazy.
neal brennan
I went to fucking Hyannisport and I come back.
joe rogan
Come back and you're trying to blow up airplanes.
And the thing is, it's...
This is something that didn't fly but we found out about it.
How many of these things we didn't find out about that actually did happen and that we think are legitimate instances in the news or real attacks?
neal brennan
Yeah, I just think it's a drop in the bucket.
Oh, for sure.
I think it's a drop in the bucket.
I think it's less than 1%.
joe rogan
In comparison to actual events.
neal brennan
Yeah, into actual reality versus...
joe rogan
I agree, yeah.
neal brennan
And so, when people are...
The reason I don't like conspiracy theories is that I think people use it to explain their own failure a lot of the time.
Like, we say it a lot in comedy.
Like, well, you can't make it unless you're a lesbian woman.
Oh, God, that's the worst.
You're like, alright, man, that's not...
unidentified
That's the worst.
joe rogan
I hate that fucking...
That perspective is so crazy.
It's like, listen, if you're killing, people are going to see you.
If you kill a lot, people are going to see you a lot.
It's that simple.
neal brennan
You can't fake it.
joe rogan
It is a meritocracy.
neal brennan
Yeah, it really is.
There are certainly some quota stuff in the margins, but no one's making it...
No one's doing arenas because of a quote.
You can't pull.
There's nothing you can do to get into arenas.
joe rogan
Yeah, people have to actually like you.
And this excuse-making that people do do as a straight white man, I can't get a break in this town.
Oh my God.
When you're a straight white man and you're complaining, you got one of the most fucking captivating hands of cards.
neal brennan
In world history.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
In the world history in 2019, straight white male.
neal brennan
Still a great hand.
Still a great hand.
You might get beat with a crazy, you know, Nanette.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
A Nanette hand.
joe rogan
Take you out at the hamstrings.
neal brennan
Nanette will get you on the river.
unidentified
Yeah, but.
neal brennan
Where she, what?
joe rogan
I know, she got number one, but it wasn't even funny.
neal brennan
Yeah.
unidentified
What the fuck?
joe rogan
Oh, man.
unidentified
Anti-comedy?
joe rogan
What's anti-comedy?
neal brennan
All right.
joe rogan
My take on Nanette thing, and I haven't even seen it, it's like, do people like it?
Yeah, good.
neal brennan
I saw it live.
joe rogan
Did you like it?
neal brennan
Yeah, I liked it a lot.
unidentified
Nice.
neal brennan
Where'd you see it?
I saw it in New York.
I saw it before it was on Netflix.
I saw it and met her and was like...
joe rogan
Was she nice?
neal brennan
It was an awkward conversation, I'll say that.
joe rogan
Well, she is a little spectrum-y, right?
neal brennan
She talks about that.
I think that's a fair estimation.
It wasn't easy.
joe rogan
Do you find that when you speak to certain women in particular, you feel almost like you're guilty of something?
Like you're a male?
Like you're an oppressor?
Do you ever feel like that?
neal brennan
Not too many women.
And it could just be a projection.
It could be my own...
It could be...
I'm like auto-projecting.
I'm like...
joe rogan
I definitely do that.
neal brennan
There aren't too many...
But I think you have to work against stereotypes.
You're working against tattoos, built, bald, right-wing podcasters.
joe rogan
Well, cage-fighting commentators, too.
neal brennan
Oh, fuck, I forgot about that.
Jesus, Joe.
joe rogan
Yeah, I'm a monster.
neal brennan
Yeah, so you have a lot.
I'm pretty, you know, a feat.
joe rogan
The way I look is a problem.
neal brennan
What are the odds you're not sexist?
joe rogan
Right, or a dickhead.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, not that good.
neal brennan
Yeah, like, what are the odds?
Like, so, you try...
I mean, I don't feel it too much, but I can imagine...
What percentage of women do you feel like you have to...
Do that with?
joe rogan
The ones who don't know me.
Once they know me, like, I'm pretty, pretty nice.
neal brennan
Like, go to a venue.
You go to the venue that you've never been to.
There's a woman, the backstage, one of the works for Live Nation, or she works at the venue.
Like, does she assume that you're...
joe rogan
Nah, not if they work for Live Nation.
I'm nice to all those folks.
But I think that if someone has a very staunch feminist perspective and they meet someone like me, they might, depending upon their perspective, they might think that I'm the enemy.
That's a possibility, that right away they look at me like the enemy.
neal brennan
Well, that's the thing of like, what are you absolute...
And you can tell sometimes when you're arguing with people that are super dogmatic about whatever they believe in, you can watch them go into a line of...
Logic that they then realize, I can't, because that will, like, seed some ground to this person.
They go, ugh!
And it's like, I saw you start to go down that, like, just a reason...
And I'm not saying stop believing what you believe in.
It's just like, it doesn't have to be 100%.
joe rogan
Exactly.
neal brennan
It's fine.
You can still win the popular vote.
It's just majority rules.
It doesn't have to be overwhelming.
Just don't...
It's dishonest in a way.
Because they don't want to have a chink in their armor, logically.
joe rogan
Yeah, they want to lump people into categories because it's easy to define them, too.
You know, we were goofing yesterday, me and Joe List were goofing around about Alyssa Milano's sex strike that she was proposing.
And I was like, one of the things that's offensive about that is, first of all, that women...
Would agree with you that they would just withhold sex from the person that they love.
neal brennan
Because Alyssa Milano said that.
joe rogan
Because Alyssa Milano said you should withhold sex because in fucking Georgia they're limiting abortion laws.
But the second thing is that you would assume that all men are responsible for this.
Not even just the voters in Georgia, but all men.
A man in Minneapolis should be denied sex from his progressive girlfriend.
neal brennan
Or that he's going to call his friend in Alabama.
Like, man, you better do something, because I'm not getting no pussy up here, bro.
joe rogan
This fucking sex strike is for real.
neal brennan
Bro, this is hitting us.
joe rogan
It's so delusional and such a dumb flag of virtue that they're throwing up.
And it's such stupid 2019 woke politics that that was actually something.
neal brennan
Well, by the way, it's based on Los Estrada, like an old Greek play.
joe rogan
Was it really?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
No shit?
There's a sex strike in an old Greek play?
neal brennan
Yeah, and that's what that movie Chirac was about.
unidentified
Really?
neal brennan
It was a sex strike in Chicago.
unidentified
No kidding.
neal brennan
Did that work?
No.
I don't think it's ever...
I don't know.
Will you Google and see if it's ever been done?
joe rogan
I would imagine that girls just use an excuse to not fuck a guy they don't want to fuck.
neal brennan
Well, it's also like...
joe rogan
I'm on a sex strike.
neal brennan
Most of them aren't fucking anyway.
It's like, yeah.
Like, what are you gonna...
It's like Rock had that joke about, like, what are you gonna...
You can't stop...
You're already not fucking me.
joe rogan
Dude, when you hear women talk about not wanting to fuck their husbands, it's like, it's such a depressing...
I was listening to this gal.
She was like, well, you know, most wives don't want to have sex with their husbands.
Like, what?
You listen to that, you're like, ugh.
neal brennan
As a husband, it bumps you out?
Or as a human being?
Humans that are there in a situation.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Well, the thing that people like the most about relationships...
But besides the fact that you love someone, you care for someone, is having sex with somebody who wants to have sex with you.
It's fun.
It's a fun time.
neal brennan
It's very rewarding.
It feels real nice.
joe rogan
Especially if you take a little hit.
You really feel it.
neal brennan
You feel vulnerable.
joe rogan
It feels great.
So when you hear that someone doesn't want that, and their attitude is that most women don't want that.
Most women don't want to have sex with their husband.
They just do it because they have to.
neal brennan
Well, that's also, it's very hard to get a clear story about women and sexuality in that, like, it's, I don't, I think it varies from wildly.
Oh, for sure.
joe rogan
Hasn't it been girls you've dated?
neal brennan
Yeah, even the other day I put a thing on Instagram where I said, how, if you start following a guy, how long do you think he should wait to DM you?
Because as a guy, I'll have girls follow me, and because I just do jokes on there, I'm like, does this girl want to...
I don't want to be like, so you came for the comedy.
Also, dick...
joe rogan
Yeah, that's a weird thing.
neal brennan
I don't want to bum her out if she just came because she thinks I'm funny, but like, yes, but what about fucking me?
Can I introduce you in that?
unidentified
What about my penis?
Yes.
neal brennan
And of course, the answers were all over the place.
Like, four days, five days, ten minutes, and then I said, but if he's cute, it doesn't matter, and they all wrote, nope.
joe rogan
Yeah, if it's Aquaman, just let them DMs slide around.
neal brennan
I like that you're referencing Aquaman as the paradigm of hotness, because he really is.
joe rogan
He's as good as it gets.
This is what my wife said.
She goes, he's everybody's type.
neal brennan
Yeah, including fish.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's a big, giant, handsome, beautiful man who seems to be extraordinarily kind.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
He's got everything going for him.
neal brennan
And like, open.
He dates an older woman that's older than him.
Like, he's got, he exercises.
joe rogan
What does it say?
Furthermore, sex strikes have historically been affected.
neal brennan
I opened this and didn't read it.
joe rogan
As pointed by Chicagoist, in Kenya, the Philippines, Liberia, thanks Nobel Prize winner Lima...
Say that.
G-B-O-W-E. And in Colombia, where women held a 10-day strike in 2006 to end gang fighting.
Wow.
neal brennan
It is a great idea.
It truly is.
If you want to affect change, just get every...
I was saying to somebody last night, we all know every...
Somebody was...
Asking me about cheating.
And I was like, I'm not a cheater, but I was like, every guy...
Does what they do.
Most human achievement is because men wanted to get buildings, electricity.
joe rogan
If you think that scabs are a problem in unions, just trust me.
If you've got a fucking sex truck, them hoes are going to come out of the woodwork.
neal brennan
What am I going to use?
I have no leverage.
This is my main leverage.
But, yeah, it's a great bargaining tool.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
neal brennan
I mean, it is the bargaining.
I mean, in some ways, that's most of the negotiation of a relationship is where girls go, like, women don't control it.
It's like...
They may not control it explicitly, but I know if I do something that's going to get you in a bad mood, you're not going to fuck me.
joe rogan
And legalized prostitution is one of the best ways to combat any kind of sex strike.
And that is one reason why women fucking hate the idea of legalized prostitution.
They don't ever want that to not be negotiable.
They don't ever want you to be able to go, oh, oh, I'm an asshole?
Yeah, I'm going for a drive.
And you go right down to the store.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
You go to the sex store, and you pay for a 10, and she's built like Jessica Rabbit, and you bang her, and you have a time of your life.
And then you go home, and your girlfriend's got a little bit of a gut, and her ass is a little saggy, and you're like, I just, no.
You can't tell me what to do anymore.
neal brennan
I spent 80 bucks.
joe rogan
It wasn't that much.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
If sex was legal, financially, if it was transactions, sexual transactions...
neal brennan
It is legal in a lot of countries.
Not a lot of countries, but a few countries.
joe rogan
A few.
Enough.
But if it was legal in this country, how much do you think it would shift perceptions?
neal brennan
I don't know, because I was just in Singapore, and apparently it's legal there.
By the way, I went to...
I was in Singapore, did some shows, excellent, and there was a place...
It's called Orchard Road, and it's a mall during the day.
And at night, it becomes a mall for prostitutes.
joe rogan
They have a prostitute mall?
neal brennan
Yes.
It's Orchard Road, and the awful saying for it is four floors of whores, which I hate the word whore.
Why do you hate the word whore?
I don't know.
It just bugs me.
It's like, you whore!
It just feels like dice or something.
joe rogan
You like Hooker?
neal brennan
I don't know.
joe rogan
I like hooker as a term of endearment.
unidentified
I like hooker.
joe rogan
No, not like that.
neal brennan
Like Barney Miller?
joe rogan
Shut your mouth, hooker.
neal brennan
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Like a girlfriend who's just joking around about something.
Like, shut your mouth, hooker, and everybody will laugh.
neal brennan
Yeah.
unidentified
Uh...
neal brennan
So, the local guys were going there, and I was like, well, yeah, I'm going to go also, because I want to see this place, because I've read about it.
And there was a restaurant there that they ate in, which is a whole other issue.
But it's literally like a mall, like a shitty mall, not like a Glendale, Galleria, where it's just one of those square ones, where it's like four floors, there's an escalator in the middle, and then there's just basically like...
And there's just prostitutes, hookers as you call them, out...
In the walkway.
joe rogan
Jamie's got a visual for us.
jamie vernon
I was trying to find something, but I found a TripAdvisor review of Orchard.
joe rogan
Don't go at night.
Yeah, wow.
Don't go here at nighttime unless you want to be shocked a little.
The whole place turns into countless brothel bars.
I feel like I need to scrub myself after our visit.
neal brennan
I was there about three minutes, and I was like, alright.
Because the thing is, There's a difference between legalized prostitution and anyone wanting to be a prostitute.
They don't want to be.
I mean, they are.
I don't think they're being forced to coerce, but life is coercing them into doing it.
joe rogan
What did you think about the Robert Kraft situation?
Here's what bothered me about that.
Two things bothered me about that.
One, they accused him of being a part of sex trafficking. - Right. - But turns out that wasn't true.
There were just regular girls who wanted to jerk guys off for money.
- Right. - There's no one there-- - Wanted, I think is a big word. - Were willing, did it, voluntarily, whatever.
And they were threatening to release the film footage of him like, So what are you doing?
You're trying to shame him into submission?
And the fact that this guy, even though he's a billionaire, he can't stop that from happening?
neal brennan
Well, the funny thing is the fact that he's a billionaire and still has to go to the fucking drive-thru.
It's like, boy, I wish there was a better system.
joe rogan
There should be a better system.
I think it's going to be robots.
I think sex robots are going to blur the morality line.
neal brennan
I was at a, this is a similar thing about, like, there's no relief anywhere.
I was at a party recently and DiCaprio was there.
And there were a bunch, it was just like a huge, crazy party.
Like, crazy Hollywood party.
Like, the kind I never go to.
Just everyone's there.
And DiCaprio's girl wanted to leave.
And he goes, well, the girls are tired, so I gotta leave the greatest party ever.
Like, he had to leave.
Leonardo DiCaprio, the king of kings.
The girls are tired.
joe rogan
God, how long had they been at the party for?
neal brennan
I don't know, an hour and a half or something.
But there was like a dinner before.
But it was just a funny thing.
Like, oh, okay, so there's no...
It doesn't matter who I am.
You still...
joe rogan
You're at the whim.
neal brennan
When they're done, you gotta go.
joe rogan
Sometimes.
neal brennan
But having said that, we still all do it for some invisible...
Shangri-La.
joe rogan
I bet she would have stayed at the party for Aquaman.
neal brennan
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
I bet Aquaman was there.
She would have been like, it's fine.
Let's stay.
Yeah, my feet are open.
I'll take off my shoes.
unidentified
Whatever.
neal brennan
But yeah, we're still doing it for some primal Like, all the achievements and all that shit.
It's still some...
joe rogan
Yeah.
Well, you want to be respected and loved and liked, and you want people to desire you.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's part of it, right?
neal brennan
Even if you're not gonna take them up on it.
unidentified
Right.
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, I told an anecdote on Hell Neal Field this week about...
The best compliment I ever got.
I was doing a show in Vegas with two buddies of mine who shall remain nameless.
We get on the elevator at the end.
Woman gets on and goes, can I just say, I'm married, but I would fuck all of you guys.
And it was great.
It's like, oh, we feel accomplished.
We did a great job at the show.
You're attracted to us.
You just happened to be married.
And that's so nothing's ever going to happen.
But thank you for expressing your attraction to us.
joe rogan
I wonder if she was saying, even though I'm married.
neal brennan
No, she was saying it like, just so you know, if I weren't married.
joe rogan
If I wasn't married.
neal brennan
And she didn't mean at the same time either.
joe rogan
She was a little drunk.
neal brennan
She was a little tipsy.
joe rogan
She said some ridiculous shit.
neal brennan
But that's a very nice thing to say.
That's kind of what you want from everyone.
joe rogan
For a guy, yeah.
neal brennan
Like, hey, I would fuck you.
joe rogan
Girls don't want to hear that.
They're like, yeah, thanks.
neal brennan
Yeah, no kidding.
They don't want to hear that.
joe rogan
Everyone wants to, come on.
Hey, how do you like doing a podcast with Bianca?
neal brennan
I love doing it with Bianca.
joe rogan
She's hilarious.
neal brennan
Because she's funny.
joe rogan
Very smart.
neal brennan
Smart, and she's a pain in the ass.
In terms of, like, she is very, like, no.
Like, she has her own logic.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
She has her own belief system, and we just argue it out.
She's more in, like...
And she's also, like, ten different races.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
neal brennan
So she's pulling from, like, her father's Middle Eastern.
She grew up in Oakland.
Like, she's got a lot of different, like...
joe rogan
She's got Panamanian in her, too.
neal brennan
She's got Panamanian.
She speaks German, I think.
Like, for real.
Like, she speaks...
She's just, like, from all over.
And she's a fun...
She's fun and funny, and she's fun to be funny around.
joe rogan
Is she on How Neil Feel?
neal brennan
Yeah, she's on How Neil Feel.
That's the name of it.
joe rogan
So how often do you guys do it?
neal brennan
Once a week.
joe rogan
Oh, that's cool.
Where do you do it?
neal brennan
Do it literally in my bedroom.
joe rogan
Oh, nice.
Beautiful.
neal brennan
Because that's the only space we have.
joe rogan
That's cool.
neal brennan
But it's like, you know, it works.
joe rogan
How many have you done so far?
neal brennan
Four.
joe rogan
Okay, cool.
Isn't that nice?
The beginning of a podcast?
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's nice.
neal brennan
You can see what it becomes, like low expectations.
You can be like, yeah, we're still starting out.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, I like it.
Have you done any at the store?
neal brennan
No, I literally haven't done...
Any, I don't think.
Maybe I did one in the basement once.
joe rogan
It's a nice little spot, man.
neal brennan
It's cool.
It is kind of a cocoon.
joe rogan
Yeah, it is.
The way they have it set up down there is pretty badass.
And the fact that, wow, we're doing a podcast at the Comedy Store.
It feels kind of historical because that is the thing that brought that place back.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Podcasts brought that place back from the brink and made it the thriving center of comedy.
I think we can all agree that is the center of comedy in the known universe.
unidentified
100%.
joe rogan
100%.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
And that podcast...
neal brennan
Even like Robbie from Netflix is like, podcasts are like the indicator of streams.
Like, you know, it's pretty direct.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
The correlation.
And I don't know what Tom would be more popular from Netflix or the podcast.
Yeah.
unidentified
They're both pretty fucking popular right now.
joe rogan
He's murdering it right now.
His podcast has rabid fans.
Whenever they do these Garth Brooks things, oh my god, Garth Brooks is haunted.
He doesn't know what to do.
He's so trapped by your mom's house fans.
They just won't stop with the memes and the deep fakes with Tom's face over Garth Brooks' body.
neal brennan
I DM'd the deepfake guy.
Yeah?
Because I was like, is it hard?
Because it's terrifying.
Someone said...
joe rogan
Jamie did it.
Jamie used the software to make one with me with Trump's head.
neal brennan
Was it easy?
jamie vernon
Very easy.
neal brennan
I was talking to somebody about it, and they said, it bums me out in the way death used to bum me out when I was a little kid.
unidentified
It's like, wow!
Wow!
neal brennan
But I know what he means!
It's just like, unfathomable, like, oh, this is not good.
joe rogan
This is not good.
I'm the one you made.
Check this out.
unidentified
Look at this.
He said, China is, quote, not competition for us, for the U.S. Look at this.
donald j trump
Are you talking about which vice president?
unidentified
I'm sorry, former Vice President Biden.
I apologize.
He actually looks like Joey Diaz.
joe rogan
Dude, that looks like me if I was fat and I had a crazy haircut.
That's me.
donald j trump
Everyone's competition.
neal brennan
I view everybody as competition.
joe rogan
That's so good.
neal brennan
How long did it take for real?
jamie vernon
I was teaching myself how to do it, really.
This version took...
I let it run overnight because there's a little bit of what the machine learning kind of thing is doing.
The longer you let that run, the better it is is what I've been learning.
So this was just my test of like eight hours maybe, six hours?
neal brennan
But you could have multiples going at once.
jamie vernon
Yeah, once I made this version of Joe.
neal brennan
Once you're in the hopper.
joe rogan
The crazy thing is porn.
They're doing that with gals.
neal brennan
I love that you've used the word gals twice.
unidentified
I love that word.
neal brennan
I love it.
jamie vernon
This is a good time to bring this up because I just saw something today, literally, and it has to do with this, and I don't know if this is real, but it sounds scary, and this is where someone's taking this technology into a weird place.
A lady has a Facebook post, that's why I don't believe it, but she said she was with her son, and while she was out of her house, her husband was called Saying that her son was kidnapped.
And that he heard his son's voice saying, like, mommy, help me, help me, help me.
And to give him money.
And the dad was freaking out.
Didn't know what to do.
Couldn't get a hold of him.
And finally did after six minutes.
And she said they couldn't even convince the dad that that wasn't real.
Like after hearing, no, I'm fine.
We're fine.
I'm with him.
But I don't know if this is even real.
How they could do that with the capability now, I'm not sure.
But they might be able to.
joe rogan
Oh, for sure they can do it.
neal brennan
Yeah, you can mod somebody's voice.
I mean, if they can do it with faces, they can do it with audio.
They did it with Tupac at Coachella like five years ago.
That was...
The way he said Coachella is exactly how he would have said it.
joe rogan
And they have that hologram that looks just like him, but like a little more jacked.
Just a little more six-pack-y, like he went to CrossFit in heaven.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
Yeah, I totally believe they can do the voice shit.
jamie vernon
That was seven years ago for that one.
joe rogan
Wow!
Yeah, they're so close.
Now, even if you go back and watch Game of Thrones, like season one, and what the wolves look like, they look like shit.
neal brennan
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, they're shitty CGI wolves.
They're a little clunky.
But now they look amazing.
Now it looks like a real fucking wolf.
What is this?
That's Tupac.
Look how jacked he is.
Do you have any idea how many sit-ups you have to do to have a stomach like that?
You gotta be on that Wiz Khalifa type exercise routine.
neal brennan
It's also, you gotta not eat any starch, right?
I mean, any sugars of any kind.
joe rogan
You can't be fucking around with carbs.
Carbs will keep you from being really shredded.
I mean, not all carbs, but either doing a lot of fasting.
You gotta do something to get your body fat down that low.
neal brennan
Because it doesn't matter how many sit-ups you do, right?
It's not gonna...
joe rogan
Well, sit-ups make your ab muscles bigger.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
They make them more defined and bigger.
neal brennan
I can see one of mine.
joe rogan
Yeah.
You've got to lose weight.
The only way is losing fat.
unidentified
You guys want to see it?
joe rogan
No, I'm good.
It's so easy to get fat, too.
I'm so amazed at how easy I can get fat on a vacation.
Like, one week I gain 10 pounds.
If I go on a vacation and I just go drink and eat pasta, 10 pounds in a week.
neal brennan
Well, that's like, you're running such a small margin.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Just in everyday life, where it's like, yeah, if you just eat...
I mean, it's fairly massive, but it's not like...
What do you think it is?
800 calories a day?
joe rogan
No.
unidentified
No.
neal brennan
Extra, I mean.
joe rogan
The extra?
unidentified
Yeah.
I don't know.
joe rogan
Not with me, man.
I go hard.
When I eat on vacation, drinking and eating.
Like, just the drinking.
When I'm on vacation, I might drink four or five drinks a day.
Maybe more.
Every day.
neal brennan
Do you drink during the day?
If you're on vacation without your kids?
unidentified
No.
joe rogan
Sometimes, no.
No, no.
Not without my kids.
But when my kids are there, I'm hammered.
neal brennan
Yeah, you gotta be.
unidentified
I'm just kidding.
neal brennan
Yeah, I get that.
joe rogan
No, but if I'm on vacation and I'm out, I might have a drink at the pool or at the beach or wherever I am.
And then at night, if I go to dinner, I might have two or three.
So I might have four or five drinks every fucking day.
That's not a normal day for me.
So that shit's just piling up.
neal brennan
Yeah.
And what are you drinking?
unidentified
Whatever.
neal brennan
Whatever.
joe rogan
What do we got?
Yeah, if I'm on vacation...
I'm trying to get fucked up.
I'm trying to have a good time.
I'm doing it like it's my job.
neal brennan
And are you...
Does your wife get drunk?
joe rogan
She'll get hammered.
neal brennan
Yeah, that's great.
joe rogan
Not as much as me, though.
I get more drunk than her.
neal brennan
That's fun.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, well, if you don't know where to go and you can just walk to wherever you're supposed to be...
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
But ten pounds later, I'm like, you fat fuck, and I'm grabbing my sides.
When I can grab a fistful of meat right where my love handles are, I'm like, Jesus Christ.
neal brennan
Well, because it's so like you fucked up and you just like have a thing that you have a handful of regret.
joe rogan
Yeah, it'd take a whole week to get everything back in line.
neal brennan
By the way, not that long.
I mean, that's not a very long time.
Compared to most people, like at your age, fucking people's metabolism takes them.
People get fat a little bit and then they're done.
joe rogan
Yeah, but I still do the same shit that I did when I was 21. Like in terms of like the amount of working out I do.
Yeah.
I'm still running hills and doing serious kettlebell workouts and martial arts and all that stuff.
At least five days a week.
neal brennan
And you do muscle shit every day or you do groups?
joe rogan
Sometimes I'll do something every day.
I'll do multiple workouts in a day because I have a gym at home.
So I'll get up in the morning and I'll lift and then I'll do yoga and then I'll do something later.
You have to keep going.
When you're 50 years old, your body requires...
You can't have too much slacking.
Because when you slack, if you get out of shape, fuck man, it's hard to get back in shape.
It's hard.
Your body is trying to die.
It's not trying to put muscle on and up your VO2 max.
It's not interested in that.
neal brennan
It's interested in dying.
joe rogan
Gotta trick that bitch.
neal brennan
And continuously working out as he kind of like the main if not only.
joe rogan
I've been cranking the sauna up to 200 degrees because Gabriella Reese told me that Laird Hamilton puts his shit on 220. 220. That's what she said, right?
220. Which is you cook meat at 220 degrees.
That's like, that's fucking hot.
And I was like, there must be some sort of benefit in that.
So I'm like, I'm going to ramp my shit up from 180 to 200. And it made a big difference.
neal brennan
And what's the difference?
joe rogan
First of all, it's way harder to do.
The difference between 160 and 160. I was at a sauna this past weekend at a gym, like a hotel gym.
It was a nice sauna, but it was not hot enough.
It was like 160-ish.
neal brennan
It's just not that hot.
joe rogan
You're sweating, and it's helping.
You're getting heat shock proteins.
It's good for your body.
It reduces inflammation, but not nearly as radically as when you hit 200. 200 is fucking hard to do.
First of all, the wood in the sauna that you're sitting on is hot as fuck.
You need your sweat to cool off the wood, because the wood is like a plank, like a cedar plank that you're cooking a filet of salmon on.
That's what the wood gets like.
neal brennan
How long can you stay in it?
joe rogan
20 minutes.
And those last five minutes are rough.
neal brennan
And how do you deal with the pain?
You don't want to move, right?
So are you just still?
joe rogan
The last five minutes, I get up and I start walking around, actually.
I feel like I have more of a hard time sitting still in the last five minutes.
neal brennan
Yeah, I would think you have to.
joe rogan
Yeah, I distract myself by stretching and moving.
neal brennan
Are you wearing flip-flops or they would melt?
joe rogan
No.
Well, you know what works, though, surprisingly?
AirPods.
Those fucking things don't die out in 200. Your phone would be dead as fuck.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
But AirPods keep going.
So if I put my phone just outside the door and I put AirPods on, I can listen to music.
neal brennan
Do you think they're hot to the touch?
joe rogan
Yeah, they're hot.
I feel them.
But they're not breaking down.
They hang in there at 200 degrees.
neal brennan
Good for you, AirPods.
joe rogan
Yeah, they're good, man.
neal brennan
And you feel markedly different.
joe rogan
Yeah, you feel good when you get out of there, man.
Like, all your little aches and pains feel like they get a big bump, like a big reduction in the aches and pains.
neal brennan
And most of your aches and pains are aged and working out?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
Just inflammation in general.
neal brennan
Hey, what age would you be pissed if you died at?
60, would you be pissed?
Do you know what I mean by piss?
Like, fucking, fuck you.
I fucking did all the right shit.
joe rogan
Yeah, I don't know, man.
You know, I just heard John Singleton.
He died at 51. Yeah.
You know, Luke Perry died at 51 or 52. Stroke, both those guys.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, fucking, that's me.
That's this age.
unidentified
Yeah.
Stroke.
neal brennan
William Stevenson, even.
I mean, he was not in good shape, but like...
He wasn't old.
joe rogan
No, no.
Keith Robinson.
neal brennan
Yeah, that one.
joe rogan
How old was Keith when he had his stroke?
unidentified
50. Fuck.
joe rogan
Fuck.
neal brennan
Yeah, like at what point would you be like, feel ripped off?
joe rogan
Probably right now.
neal brennan
So 60, you would be like...
joe rogan
I beat the shit out of this body, though.
It's amazing this thing works as good as it does.
You know, if I think about my body as like a car that I've been off-roading...
neal brennan
Do you still feel like you're beating the shit out of it, or do you feel like the jiu-jitsu stuff was beating the shit out of it?
joe rogan
Well, I still do that, though.
But I went running in the hills yesterday.
Hard fucking workout yesterday.
neal brennan
How far?
joe rogan
Two miles, but it's super steep.
It's like one stretch is more than a...
It's 200 yards straight up.
It's fucking hard.
It's a hard sprint.
The dog runs ahead and I'm trying to keep up with him.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
But you get to the top of these really steep hills, man.
Your legs are on fire.
Your lungs are killing you.
But, man, it makes a difference.
neal brennan
But it's also, are you beating the shit out of your body or are you just doing it right?
joe rogan
I'm strengthening it.
I'm doing it right.
But I am putting a lot of pressure on the joints.
I'm putting a lot of pressure on the muscles.
It's not like doing yoga every day.
I'm doing some pretty heavy-duty stuff.
But...
I feel like if you do it smart and you warm up a lot and you stretch, and I've been pretty diligent about recovery, sauna in a big way, but also I've been getting trigger point muscle release therapy, which is like really hardcore, brutal massage that...
You literally want to cry.
neal brennan
Like this kind of...
joe rogan
Yeah, but like elbows.
This lady fucking puts her elbow in the back of my neck and you're like...
But it makes a big difference, man.
All that stuff.
Cryotherapy.
All that stuff.
Everything's got a little place.
It helps.
But the main thing is consistency.
Like you can't...
You can't take months off.
You can't.
You can't take weeks off.
You can't just eat.
It'll slip away.
neal brennan
Your body wants to do what it's been doing.
joe rogan
Yep.
neal brennan
Like your spirit, whatever.
Whether it's like, you know, whatever the laws that body in motion stays in motion.
But it just does.
It's gonna, like sugar, same thing.
Eat sugar and you're like, we gotta get more sugar.
Don't eat it and four days later you're like...
joe rogan
I feel like variety is really critical too.
I make sure that I get at least one or two days of yoga in, at least one or two days of running, at least one or two days of lifting, at least one or two days of martial arts.
Do a bunch of different shit.
Mix it all up together.
Because if I don't mix it all up together, then there's too much repetitive stress possibility.
If I'm just running every day, I don't think that's wise.
neal brennan
And why don't you do interval training with running?
joe rogan
I do sometimes.
Yeah, I do.
I do a bunch of different shit.
Sometimes I just do hill sprints, and then I slowly go down the hill, I wait till my heart rate gets below 140, and then I sprint back up the hill again.
I mix it up, but the key is consistency.
No matter what you're doing, whether it's yoga or running, you've got to do something almost every day.
neal brennan
Yeah.
I don't do some every day, but I try to do, like, I got a treadmill and now I have a Bowflex.
I'm proud to say I'm a proud owner of a Bowflex.
joe rogan
You're the last guy to buy one.
neal brennan
I know.
joe rogan
You're about to go out of business, but they go, we just got a fucking order from you.
neal brennan
I'm from 1988, bro.
joe rogan
Yeah, my ex-girlfriend's roommate had a Bowflex.
I remember using this going, why in the fuck can I get out of this?
neal brennan
It's big, actually.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, it's like, it takes up a lot of space.
joe rogan
Yeah, because it's got a bow.
neal brennan
I didn't even put, yeah, you're right, but the bow.
Bro, come on.
They don't, that only, that's when it, yeah, it does have like a wing.
It is a winged bird.
jamie vernon
Does it work?
neal brennan
Yeah, I, yes.
joe rogan
You got a good workout?
neal brennan
I got, I'm getting my gains, bro.
I still have like dumbbells and, you know, other shit, bands.
joe rogan
I tell people, if you really want to work out at home, all you need is a chin-up par.
Everything else you can do on the ground.
You can do bodyweight exercises, you can do...
neal brennan
I gotta say, I don't even think you need a chin-up bar.
I mean, again, you know 10 times more than I know, but I'm saying like, what are you getting from a chin-up bar that you can't get from a push-up or a dip?
joe rogan
Pull-ups.
But I'm saying it's all this, right?
You're getting your back.
You're getting your back.
You're not getting your back much.
You're getting a little bit if you do Hindu push-ups where you sweep down and elevate and then come back up.
You're getting a little bit of your back, but you're really getting your back if you're hanging on to a chin-up bar and you're using your whole body weight.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's what you want.
That is an amazing body weight exercise.
neal brennan
I don't work my back out very much.
Am I fucking myself?
joe rogan
Yeah, for sure.
You have to strengthen that bitch.
To keep the stability in your spinal column.
You want meat.
You want that to be armored.
That's very big.
I have several machines out there that are just designed to keep my back strong.
neal brennan
And you just think it's good.
It's best practice.
joe rogan
Yeah, man.
I do that almost as much as any other kind of exercise.
I do a reverse hyper...
I do a whole series.
The reverse hyper machine, the glutes, the glute machine where you, you know...
neal brennan
I cannot believe how hard glutes are.
Like, it's the hardest...
That's the one after it I'm like...
Fuck, I'm gonna fucking throw up.
It's the fucking worst.
joe rogan
It's hard, yeah.
neal brennan
And you have to even, like, I was talking to a trainer, and she was like, well, you need to, like, activate your glutes.
And then part of me is like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
And then the more research, it's like, our glutes are dead.
As, like, normal people, we don't use our glutes, and they are literally atrophied.
joe rogan
That's why women get so disgusted by a guy's flat ass.
They're like, this motherfucker doesn't even activate his glutes.
unidentified
No, but dude, you have to do a ton of shit.
neal brennan
You have to do a ton of shit just to...
And she's like, it would take you a couple months to even just get them activated.
And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.
I just thought it was some trainer shit.
And you have to turn them on.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, you have to, like, do bad.
Like, I do a ton of shit.
I don't even know if I'm doing it right.
joe rogan
They gotta get fired up.
neal brennan
Do you have a trainer?
joe rogan
You gotta get a trainer.
neal brennan
I should get a trainer.
unidentified
Come on, man.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
You gotta cash.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Get yourself a trainer, Neil Brendan.
neal brennan
Yeah, I should.
joe rogan
Plus, it's good because you have to make...
Is this your Bowflex?
neal brennan
No, I wish.
That's the mirror.
Look, if you think I didn't almost buy this, you're out of your mind.
jamie vernon
We're working on magnets.
neal brennan
This is the mirror one.
jamie vernon
It's like magnet weight something or other.
I've been seeing this online recently.
unidentified
I was curious if you've ever heard of it or know if it works well.
That's good.
joe rogan
Two chords?
How much resistance?
jamie vernon
That's what I want.
The resistance is all internally done just by magnet pressure that you set.
joe rogan
Well, what's the maximum amount of resistance, though?
Because I don't know if you know this, but I'm jacked.
neal brennan
No, yeah, I heard.
joe rogan
How much?
148 pounds?
jamie vernon
That's just in the middle.
I think you're probably 200 plus pounds.
neal brennan
I think 148 will take care of most people.
joe rogan
Yeah, and if you're just doing cables, so 148 on each side, is that what it is?
jamie vernon
I don't know, literally.
It's new, and I was just curious if you had seen anything since you guys were talking about this.
joe rogan
No, that looks badass.
So the mirror is showing you your form?
neal brennan
Your form versus video.
jamie vernon
It's like a screen.
neal brennan
Form versus, like, are you doing it correctly?
joe rogan
Oh, look at that!
And they tell you what to do.
And it goes up and down, and it fits on the wall.
Is that a gimmick?
jamie vernon
That's what I'm wondering.
joe rogan
Is there any reviews of that?
jamie vernon
It's like brand new.
I don't even know if it's going to happen.
neal brennan
The reviews are all pretty strong.
Like, as you're saying, it all comes down to, are you going to do it?
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
If you do it every day, it's fucking great.
joe rogan
Right.
neal brennan
Most people won't do it every day.
joe rogan
Yep.
neal brennan
Because it's...
joe rogan
You've got to write it down.
Every day I brush my teeth.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
So do that too.
But it takes longer.
neal brennan
I meditate twice a day.
joe rogan
Twice a day?
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Really?
neal brennan
20. 20 each.
unidentified
Wow.
neal brennan
TM. Interesting.
Yeah.
joe rogan
So how does that work?
What do you do?
neal brennan
Sit down, set the timer for 20, and close my eyes and repeat the mantra.
joe rogan
What's your mantra?
neal brennan
I can't tell you, bro.
joe rogan
Suck a cock.
neal brennan
Suck a cock.
And it...
I think it works.
I think I need less sleep as a result.
joe rogan
Really?
neal brennan
Since I've started.
I started like a year and a half ago, and I've needed significantly less sleep from before.
And I don't know, again, because it's impossible to know what's doing what.
joe rogan
What are the benefits in terms of clarity and stuff?
neal brennan
I don't, again, I don't know.
I think they're good, but I can't say, like, well, I was writing 4.3 jokes a month before, and now I write 4.8.
Like, I don't, there's no direct correlation.
I am happy with my output, but, like, hmm.
joe rogan
Isn't that funny that, like, to an average person, they'd be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, four point, you're joking, right?
No.
No, if I get four great jokes a month, that's an amazing month.
neal brennan
Yeah, well, it's like that, I was going to bring it up when you were talking about deer hunting.
joe rogan
Yeah, right.
neal brennan
Similar.
Yeah, if you see the special, thought of it all at once on the special.
joe rogan
You had a great line about writing, like writing in a notebook or on your phone, that it's like a net to catch ideas.
neal brennan
Yeah, that really is.
joe rogan
I thought about that.
I was like, that is a great way to put it.
neal brennan
Yeah, like here, put it on the thing and then you can look back.
You ever have an idea, write it down.
And then three days later looking, you're like, that's fucking funny.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
neal brennan
You're funny.
joe rogan
Well, that's why you got to throw a lot of shit against the wall.
I have pages and pages of stuff that I review, like late night rambles, that I label them late night rambles.
Because I write a lot of times at night after the store.
neal brennan
By yourself?
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone's asleep.
I'm high.
I just sit in front of the computer.
neal brennan
And is it like you have a germ from the day?
joe rogan
I have, sometimes, but I have one hour that I have to write.
So there's one hour in front of that computer.
And I give myself that one hour, and then after that I can watch YouTube videos, Netflix, whatever.
But I have to get that one hour in.
And, man, there's been many times where I'm sitting there staring at that fucking computer for 20 minutes, and then...
I got an idea.
I'm like, oh my god, there's something.
And then the next day I do that on stage.
Boom!
It gets a laugh.
I'm like, fuck yeah!
That reward for the tediousness.
Just getting through the sitting in front, staring at the blank screen, staring at some fucking weird notes.
You're not even sure if they mean anything.
Trying to find some old shit where there's just a spark of an ember.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
That can blow on and turn into a fire.
neal brennan
Or, like, I had a joke that I was trying, and I was like, I know it's good.
I just have to come up with the right thing.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
And then I tried a couple of things.
The first couple times, you fuck it up.
You don't say it right.
It is the tedious and the mild embarrassment of just, like, trying and failing.
Oof.
But having an idea...
Writing it down, doing it on stage is, to me, the most rewarding thing I can think of.
joe rogan
It's one of the most rewarding things in all of life.
neal brennan
Yeah, I mean, honestly.
And I don't say that like, I just mean like, living a life, that is the thing.
And it's not, that's the one that's not really about women or not about, that's more like spiritual.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
It's like about like...
I don't know.
Yeah, and like, you...
It goes through your filter.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
And you're like, no one ever thought of that?
unidentified
Right.
neal brennan
No one fucking ever thought of that.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
neal brennan
Fuck, that's fucking crazy.
joe rogan
Those are the best ones.
You're like, how did I catch this?
neal brennan
Yeah, like, how?
joe rogan
What?
neal brennan
Thank you.
Thank you.
joe rogan
How often do you write on stage?
How often do you ad-lib on stage?
neal brennan
Very rarely.
Really?
You see, I come up with my sheets.
unidentified
Yep, yep, yep.
neal brennan
But I have a new joke show every Tuesday in Santa Monica, so I'll go up and do as much new shit as I have and mix it in with my...
I mean, you know that when you have a hunk, then you'll put like...
I can put that part in there, so you kind of have to do some old jokes that fit in the new part.
Yeah.
And, but my, I'm like, I usually am like, if I write four jokes, one of them will work.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, and I just like, yep.
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Alright.
joe rogan
Four jokes, one of them will have something.
And then sometimes the other ones, you're like, man, I don't know if you're alive or not.
I gotta stare at you for a little bit.
I gotta try to figure out a way to bring you to life.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
This might be something there.
Yeah.
Maybe missing it on the first pass, set it aside for a couple weeks.
neal brennan
Or you ever have a premise and years later you'll figure it out?
joe rogan
Oh, years later.
A decade.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
And you're like, oh, fuck.
joe rogan
And you just know how to do it now.
Maybe you have a bit that you did that taught you about something else or some other aspect of writing a bit.
neal brennan
And you couldn't explain it to someone who doesn't do it.
No.
It's kind of not...
I mean, maybe athletes a little bit where it's like they figure the game out in a different way.
But it's so private.
And it's so...
And that's the thing.
I was talking to somebody about this.
Like, How many funny people are there in the world?
joe rogan
There's a lot of funny people.
But how many of them are stand-up funny?
If they could just go on stage and make a room full of people laugh.
That's a hard one.
neal brennan
A couple hundred, if you're being generous?
joe rogan
If you're going to be really generous, how many real, legit, professional comedians that you and I respect?
neal brennan
Maybe 200. And there's 7 billion people in the world?
And that's the rare...
And as much as comedy is like...
Deified in ways that are sort of goofy now.
It's still like, no!
This is all...
We do everything.
It's fucking interesting.
And especially now, the way the culture is, we're the only people speaking freely in public, or at least in an organized way.
joe rogan
In this format as well.
Podcast and stand-up.
Those are the only two things.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, everything else right now is compromised.
It seems like it.
neal brennan
Yeah, and then everybody else feels at work, you can't really talk freely.
At home, in relationships, there's like, and it's not like we're just talking extemporaneously.
Like, I don't even know where I'm going, but I don't fucking know what's going to happen at the end of this sentence.
And that's the thing that's so riveting about it, is no one else is doing it.
And there's only a few hundred people that can do it well.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's also riveting, too, the creation of these little things that you come up with.
If you keep going, eventually there'll be a special.
Eventually it'll be something you actually can record.
And there's this thought, like, I'm onto something.
I'm piecing this little puzzle together.
neal brennan
And not even knowing.
Someone said, like, so how do you come up with it?
And I was like, I don't even know what I mean.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
When I start and then I write the jokes, I'm like, oh, I see what I was doing or going through.
joe rogan
Do you sometimes rewrite a bit, like write a bit and then rewrite it from a different angle?
neal brennan
I mean, there's obviously like threads of like, like you just do the inverse.
joe rogan
Sometimes I take a bit when it's already done and I say, okay, let me put that aside.
I know it's done.
I know it works.
Let me approach the subject from a completely different angle now.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Let me approach the subject as a hater.
neal brennan
Well, couldn't you do...
You end up probably doing both of them, right?
Like, a lot of your feminism shit, the thing you were closing with, felt like you'd written half and then were like, well...
joe rogan
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
neal brennan
And now, my own rebuttal.
joe rogan
Well, I wanted to rebut myself.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
And I also wanted to shit on myself so hard that by the time I got to shitting on the feminists, like, it worked.
neal brennan
Yeah.
Well, that's another thing where it's like, if you couch, you can say anything as long as you preface it with, like, I'm not a monster, just know that I'm not a monster.
joe rogan
Of course, yeah.
But some of these bitches are.
neal brennan
Or some of these whoever's are.
Like, I'm not a total piece of shit, but let's talk about that.
Yeah, that's the...
I'm thankful that I just thought of another, like, frame for a...
Like, I did the three mics thing.
No, I did it for Netflix.
So I thought of that frame as, like, three microphones on stage.
And I just thought of another...
It's not, like, a structural thing, but it's a way to do a show.
And...
My first thought was, fucking thank God.
Meaning, you don't want to be like, you don't want to do a premise-y show every time, because I did three mics, then I did a half hour on Netflix New Year's Day, the comedians of the world thing that Dele and Swartzen did too, and now I'm like, I would like to do a kind of, not one-man show, we think, just not a maudlin version, but like, A way to do jokes that are more...
It's like jokes, but also if you can thread something else in it.
It's like, do you see that?
There was a girl on Siren Live, I think it was Halsey, who sang a song and fucking painted at the same time.
She painted a painting during the song.
And I was like, wow!
joe rogan
Wow.
neal brennan
See if you can bring it up.
What was the song?
joe rogan
We can't play it.
neal brennan
It was the second song on Siren Live.
joe rogan
Yeah, if we play it, we'll definitely get the boot.
YouTube is brutal with their copyright shit.
It's brutal.
neal brennan
I mean, good and bad.
joe rogan
Well, it's good and bad, yeah, but it's very easy for someone to claim copyright off of just to play a clip, and next thing you know, your video gets taken down.
You can't stream.
neal brennan
So a part of me is like, you know.
joe rogan
This is it right here?
So she's singing?
neal brennan
She's singing and painting.
And she's hot.
And by the way, great looking.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Okay, she's got a lot going on and she's barefoot.
unidentified
Jesus Christ.
neal brennan
Yeah, she's barefoot.
I mean, is it amazing?
No, but it's fucking amazing for singing.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
It's better than I can do not singing.
unidentified
I bet she's quite a character.
neal brennan
That felt loaded.
That setup felt loaded, Joe.
That's what I do.
Yeah, so I thought of another premise, so I'm excited about that.
joe rogan
That's awesome.
When do you think you're going to film?
unidentified
Your last one, three mics, was how long ago?
neal brennan
I've kind of written it out, but I'm going to probably do it in New York.
I did three mics where I did it sort of off-Broadway and Oh, okay.
joe rogan
So when you do something like that, will you do like a long run and then film at the end of the run?
neal brennan
Yeah, I basically did three mics at it for like two months, four nights a week.
Oh, wow.
joe rogan
And you did it all in New York?
neal brennan
Yeah.
Oh, cool.
Where'd you do it?
Some theater like on the lower east side where Birbigli does his and then...
And it was cool.
It's cool to just, like, have to do an hour every night.
It's a cool...
Like, oh, I'm going to do an hour, and I'm in the same town.
joe rogan
That is cool.
neal brennan
And I'm doing an hour every night.
joe rogan
And you're doing essentially, like, a play, almost.
unidentified
Yeah!
neal brennan
Like, it was an emotional...
There was a, it was a, like an emotional fucking, I talk about emotional shit.
This will be less emotional, it'll be less wrenching emotionally.
If people saw three mics, like it's fucking pretty gut-wrenching, but this will be less gut-wrenching.
joe rogan
But you have a premise that's exciting to you.
neal brennan
Yeah, which is fucking, you know, that's like fucking excellent.
And it's also the only thing that like, it's like, well, are you going to make money?
I don't know.
I don't care.
It doesn't matter.
It's like not even a consideration.
joe rogan
Yeah, it seems like you're wasting your time thinking about that because all that really matters is do you enjoy doing it?
Does the audience enjoy it?
All that other stuff comes out of that, right?
unidentified
Yes.
joe rogan
And if you enjoy it, they're probably going to enjoy it too.
neal brennan
Yeah, and even the thing where people go like, so what are you doing?
And you're like, you can say you're doing the podcast, or you have UFCs that go like...
joe rogan
Oh, you have to have something that you're working on, otherwise you feel like you're not doing anything.
neal brennan
I'm doing an hour comedy special for a huge streaming service that's going to broadcast fucking everywhere in the world.
What are you doing?
unidentified
That's it?
neal brennan
That's how you're doing?
And you're like, this is what I'm doing.
It doesn't...
It's not time-consuming visibly day-to-day, but, like, it's consuming emotional, like, thinking about it.
joe rogan
What's your take on what's going on with Louis?
Like, what he's trying to do with stopping people from quoting his bits?
neal brennan
The quoting...
I mean, I think he's just trying to stop people from writing...
joe rogan
Leaking his shit.
Yeah.
neal brennan
Which was his own fault, because he just didn't have the bag.
He didn't have the underbag.
Like, he could have, and was like, eh, it'll be fine.
What's the worst that can happen?
What?
Louie!
joe rogan
So now he's doing everything.
He's got the yonder bags, he's doing small clubs, and he also has a sign that he puts up saying that if you leak any of the material, that they have legal repercussions.
neal brennan
Good!
I mean, why should...
It's a spoiler.
It's like a fucking...
But it's worse than a spoiler.
joe rogan
Yeah, it is worse than a spoiler.
neal brennan
Because every joke is its own movie.
joe rogan
Right.
It's got its own little surprise.
neal brennan
Yeah, to exaggerate about it.
But it's like, yeah, it's a huge...
That's a huge problem, and it's also...
It goes to that 11-year-old girl thing, where it's like...
joe rogan
Yeah, when you have 11-year-old daughters, man, it's like you get a...
Oh, now I see how people are thinking.
Thinking like little kids.
neal brennan
And how would you describe it?
Like sort of like simplistic?
joe rogan
Yeah, looking for something to be naughty.
Someone to do something bad.
What did he do?
What did she do?
What are they doing?
neal brennan
We'll tell you right after the break.
And you're like, oh.
joe rogan
I can't wait.
neal brennan
Yeah.
But I don't, I mean, Louie's a hilarious dude.
And I hope, I'm interested to see what happens.
joe rogan
I think he's going to come out with a motherfucker of an hour.
That's what I think.
I think he's constantly touring.
He's on the road all the time doing this.
I know he's not doing it just for money, because he's only doing these little tiny places.
He's doing Zany's in Chicago right now, or Zany's in Nashville right now.
He's gonna come out with a motherfucker of a special and re-cement his position and I think there's gonna be people that are still mad at him no matter what.
neal brennan
I don't think that you can please most of the people that are mad at him.
unidentified
No.
neal brennan
Meaning, and I don't, I just think it's like...
joe rogan
They're not reasonable.
neal brennan
It's more fun to not forgive him.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's ideological.
neal brennan
It feels better to not forgive him.
unidentified
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
Fuck him.
Yeah, I get it.
I get their perspective.
But for everybody else, we're going to get treated to a monster hour.
That's what I think.
neal brennan
I hope.
joe rogan
When he's all done, I think it's probably going to be his best hour ever.
neal brennan
I listened to the leaked one.
joe rogan
Yeah, it was good.
neal brennan
Yeah, it was good.
joe rogan
Ten months out, man.
No comedy at all for ten months, and then he starts doing it again, and there's, you know, some bits in there that would have been great if they didn't get leaked.
neal brennan
The thing about, what are you going to do, cancel my birthday, is so fucking funny.
It's like, he's so fucking funny, it's bananas.
joe rogan
Yeah, because my life is over.
neal brennan
Cancel my birthday?
So goddamn funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, like, you know, he's a fucking hilarious dude.
joe rogan
Yeah, that's the front of the line.
I mean, when it comes to comedy and political correctness and the pushback, that's the front of the line for the pushback, is stand-up.
Nightclub stand-up.
The stuff that you and I both do.
We say a bunch of fucked up things and happen to also be funny.
And you're doing it in front of live crowds.
neal brennan
I said on stage the other night, they're going to a strip club and complaining about cellulite.
That's what it feels like.
We say a ton of shit.
Some of it doesn't work.
Some of it doesn't work because it doesn't cross the comedy barrier.
Some of it doesn't work because it's ideologically fucked up, but you don't know it until you say it.
Many great bits that you love are fucked up to someone.
To someone.
joe rogan
Or you have to figure out a way to make them work.
Like Chris Rock's bit about the difference between black people and the N-word.
That bit, he said, bombed for a long time before he figured out how to make it work.
neal brennan
It bombed shortly before he did it on his HBO show.
joe rogan
It's crazy!
It's crazy!
It's great, but he knew.
He's like, God damn it, there's something in this.
neal brennan
Yeah.
And also, it is...
Fucked up.
It is a fucked up, like, it's fucked up, you can weaponize that joke.
unidentified
Sure.
neal brennan
A lot of white people did.
joe rogan
Right.
neal brennan
Like, a lot of racist white people were like, I told you, I've been saying that in my car for years.
Exactly.
But at the same time, you can't worry about that.
Like, I was talking to, I did a thing on the podcast where I was saying, like, I don't understand the problem with Jordan Peterson.
And you and I have talked about this at the club.
Like, And people email me and they said, well, people use Jordan...
Right-wing people use him as an example of...
I'm like, that's not his problem.
And he promotes...
Someone said he promotes an all-meat diet.
No, he doesn't.
He said he does it, but he didn't promote it.
He didn't make a commercial about the shit.
You can't worry about how someone...
Again, this goes to a point, how someone interprets your art.
joe rogan
There's too many interpretations.
unidentified
Exactly.
neal brennan
And also, by the way, then throw away Taxi Driver and the Salinger book, Catching the Rye, because that's responsible for killing Lennon, shooting Reagan.
joe rogan
like it's just like okay well so these fucking dummies use it as their thing right so now I can't enjoy it no like dude go fuck yourself yeah there's too many interpretations there's too many perspectives there's too many people you just have to be a reasonable person be nice do your shit do your best and you know look we work together all the time man people are laughing yeah people are having a good time yeah like and and it's not it's also like what's your intention yeah
Our intention is to create, right?
Our intention is to come up with funny things.
And like me, as a person who enjoys stand-up, I like sitting in the back of the OR and watching someone kill.
neal brennan
I fucking love it.
It's the best.
I told somebody, like, I'm a gym rat, but for comedy clubs.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
neal brennan
I've been seeing you for 27 years.
unidentified
Yeah.
neal brennan
Just hanging out.
Like, me and Chappelle were in Vegas, and some kid was like, what are you...
He was a chef at this place, Yellowtail, and...
And he was just saying, like, being a chef, you just fucking have to cook for 12, 10 years.
10, 12 years.
Just, like, it's hard and shitty.
I was like, I've known him for 28 years.
He's been going to clubs for 33 years.
Like, that's the only thing that...
It just makes sense.
It's fair and...
It's like, it's an economy that you understand.
If the idea is good enough, you will get this response.
And there's not really politics.
There's preferences, but there's not like, you know, like, oh, have him.
Although the fact that you got banned from the store is hilarious.
That is like from a movie.
Like, we'll ban.
We have to ban one of them.
And you won in the end, as it were.
But...
But it is a fair thing, and it is, like, the only...
People...
As Rock says, we're like X-Men, where it's like, they're always mad at the X-Men.
They're always mad at the X-Men, but, like, you still like the X-Men.
You're mad.
You're mad at Louis, but...
joe rogan
But if he went on stage on a Wednesday night, the place would go crazy.
neal brennan
Yes!
joe rogan
If he walked on stage, they would stand up and give him a standing ovation.
neal brennan
Yes!
And there's also...
It's almost that corporate thing where it's like, if Chinese slaves are making phones...
Did they make this one?
unidentified
Right.
neal brennan
Like, this one...
Whereas with Louis, it's like, this one guy is responsible for all institutional sexism.
It's like, no, he's not.
He's a fucking...
He just was dumb, and he handled...
He was dumb from beginning to end about it.
And he'll tell you.
Yes.
He was fucked.
He just fucked up, and it was stupid.
But he doesn't have to take the fall, you know, forever.
- Forever, yeah.
- He is valuable.
- Yeah.
- He's valuable to our culture.
He creates a lot of, I don't think of stand-up this way where it's like you create joy for people.
I never think of it that way.
But he did create a lot of thought and joy.
He's responsible for a lot of positive shit.
joe rogan
I mean, that is what the art form is.
You're literally changing a person's state.
And as an audience member, I still love it.
And that was a struggle for me early on because I was jealous.
I could see people doing well and I wasn't doing well.
I was like, God, I wish I was doing that.
I wish I wrote that joke.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
I wish I was doing that show.
I wish I was...
And then I realized, like, oh, this is, like, totally unproductive.
Like, the opposite of productive.
It's negative.
neal brennan
Yeah.
It can be activating in terms of, like, if you turn it into, well, then work harder.
joe rogan
Right.
Well, but the problem is, like, I wish I did that.
Like, that part of it is no good.
Or, God, why does he have to get this?
That part of it is no positive to that.
But what is positive, you watch someone kill go, God damn, he's funny.
I gotta go to work.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
That's good, but the hate part...
neal brennan
Yeah, like, taking it out on him is like...
joe rogan
Bad instinct.
neal brennan
Yeah, it's not, it's counterproductive for sure.
joe rogan
But it's really common.
neal brennan
I think it's, then 11-year-old, it's, that's your first, that's the easy reaction.
Like, bleh!
joe rogan
Yes, yes, yes.
The 11-year-old reaction.
neal brennan
And then it's like, okay, but what am I, what's underneath it?
What's underneath it is like respect and respect.
And then there's certain people that it's like, I've never hated Brian Regan.
Do you know what I mean?
joe rogan
He's too nice.
neal brennan
Everyone loves him.
Yeah, and he's fucking hilarious in a way that's just like, I don't know, this fucking dude, this dude's funny.
joe rogan
He's so funny and so clean.
You could take your grandma to see him and never worry for a second.
Like, oh, where's he going with this?
Grandma gets sensitive.
neal brennan
Oh, fuck, I gotta get a drink.
joe rogan
Yeah, he's just, he's one of those rare cats like Gaffigan that figured out a way to make clean just as funny.
neal brennan
Sebastian, too, though.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
neal brennan
Like, Sebastian, I always forget he's clean.
And Nate Bargazzi's now, like, getting into that area where he's, like, clean, southern accent.
Like, it's a big, it's like, it's a good place to be, but he's fucking so funny.
joe rogan
If you're naturally inclined to do that.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah.
neal brennan
Like, if, yeah, if you're forcing yourself to do it.
But, uh...
Yeah, I think that there's a ton of value in stand-up.
I mean, it seems so obvious, but it's like...
And I think Netflix must...
There must be some metric at Netflix where...
At a certain point, they're losing a ton of programming, meaning all of their shit's licensed.
Disney's taking all their shit back in a year or two.
All of these places are starting their own apps.
And I think they realize a lot of Netflix is stand-up and documentaries.
And I think they can never monetize it in terms of...
The Ali Wong special begat this much money, but if it cost them $500,000 to get Ali Wong's first special, including everything, They made a lot of money.
You know what I mean?
joe rogan
Millions of people watched it.
neal brennan
And as well they should.
It's just the coolest thing I can imagine.
joe rogan
I agree.
neal brennan
Being a comedian is the coolest thing in the world.
joe rogan
That's why you're good at it though, man.
To have that appreciation and respect for something that you enjoy doing that is actually your It's your occupation.
I mean, it's a beautiful thing.
We're really, really fortunate.
neal brennan
Yeah, and the gifts that we get, you know what I mean?
And it's all from comedy.
Glasses, shoes, car.
joe rogan
Everything you're doing.
Yeah, basically.
neal brennan
Like, every single thing is from just a personality part.
unidentified
Imagination.
neal brennan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Creativity.
Work.
Grinding, too.
I like grinding.
I really do it.
When I'm doing three, four shows a night, I get a kick out of it.
I'm like, here we go.
This is how things get good.
neal brennan
Work a joke out.
The best.
joe rogan
That's how they come alive.
I've got to wrap this up, man, Brendan.
Tell people your podcast, How Neil Feel.
neal brennan
Go find it.
joe rogan
It's on good.
neal brennan
It's on fucking all the tunes.
joe rogan
I am excited that you're doing it with her.
She's very cool.
neal brennan
Yeah, it's great.
We've got good chemistry.
And it's iTunes everywhere.
So go check it out.
joe rogan
It's just me.
neal brennan
It's like this, except...
joe rogan
It's like this.
neal brennan
Yeah, it's like this.
joe rogan
Except there's a higher pitched voice disagreeing with you.
neal brennan
Not much higher, Joe.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's kind of high, right?
Export Selection