May 3, 2019 - The Joe Rogan Experience
01:44:26
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| And we're live, Brian Callen! | ||
| We're live! | ||
|
unidentified
|
We are live. | |
| I've been listening to Radiolab on the way over here. | ||
| And they have a new episode out about the asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Holy shit, man. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Apparently, tell me if I'm right about this before you tell me more. | ||
| Because I want to see if I have a little knowledge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go ahead. | |
| There's a very hard layer of rock that covers a large part of the Earth. | ||
| And that is proof that somehow there was an asteroid that hit and it got really, really hot and the rock got... | ||
| That is a moron's version of the science that they clearly lay out. | ||
| And by the way, it's the worst thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm also like, there's rock that got melted and it was under the ground. | |
| Undeniable evidence of a rock from the space area. | ||
| There's a layer of the earth. | ||
| The crust of the earth is super hard because it got really hot after an asteroid hit and everybody died. | ||
| And they found dinosaur bones in it. | ||
| Yeah, bro. | ||
| I don't believe in dinosaurs because I have something called the Bible at home. | ||
| Some people don't believe in dinosaurs. | ||
| Do you know that, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The flat earth folks, they believe dinosaurs are fake. | ||
| Why is it that most flat earthers, from my experience, are generally super good at a discipline that has nothing to do with astrophysics like jiu-jitsu? | ||
| They spend a lot of time on a mat, but then they have really strong political opinions about the central banks. | ||
| I think it's just a lack of real education, and then you get caught up in these YouTube things that show you a secret, and it's very attractive. | ||
| It's very attractive to find out about some hidden stuff. | ||
| Like, oh my god, I can't believe they did this. | ||
| They hid from us the fact that the Earth is flat. | ||
| Jesus Christ, space is fake? | ||
| Bro, space is fake! | ||
| Satellites aren't real. | ||
| They're low-flying planes. | ||
| They're planes. | ||
| They're constantly beaming down this information from the sky. | ||
| Satellites are not real. | ||
| Nuclear bombs. | ||
| They're not real. | ||
| They're not real. | ||
| They're just big bombs. | ||
| But then the problem is when you break your leg and you have to set your bone or you get staph and you have to trust big pharma to cure it or you use your iPhone and it works and you're talking to somebody in Japan. | ||
| That's the big one. | ||
| The iPhone's the big one. | ||
| But why is that technology something you trust? | ||
| Your fucking iPhone has a global positioning satellite chip in it. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| It links up with the fucking one that's in the sky and it tells you where you are on the map. | ||
| That's why your Google Maps works. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| I think there are probably only five or six flat earthers. | ||
| No, there's a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's thousands of them. | ||
| Well, okay, thousands. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| But that really means only five or six in the grand scheme of things. | ||
| I think the problem with all of them is that they just got married to the idea and then they're fighting it. | ||
| And if you fight it with someone who doesn't know what they're talking about, not that I do know what I'm talking about, but if you fight it with like a Sean Carroll or like a real astrophysicist, a real scientist. | ||
| Somebody studied it, yeah. | ||
| There's so much evidence. | ||
| That the earth is round and no evidence that the earth is flat. | ||
| It's one of those things where it's just like, what are you guys doing? | ||
| You're chasing your tail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| I'm too busy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm way too busy. | |
| Too busy to follow your YouTube. | ||
| I'm too busy for Bigfoot. | ||
| Ideas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And that might have been a real thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a real animal. | ||
| There was a creature? | ||
| Yeah, there was a real creature called Gigantopithecus. | ||
| It was a real animal. | ||
| It was like eight foot tall, bipedal hominid. | ||
| It absolutely existed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a giant ape of some sort. | ||
| Dude, if a fucking gorilla didn't exist, imagine seeing a gorilla. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You'd be like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that thing? | ||
| Six foot, 600 pounds? | ||
| Hulking, huge, hairy, black beast with a giant chest and enormous arms and pounds on his chest, runs on all fours, and you're like... | ||
| Fucking fangs. | ||
| When they fly through the air at each other and clash. | ||
| Smash into each other and fight. | ||
| Holy fuck, man. | ||
| If you didn't know that was real and you ran into a gorilla, you'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| By the way, they didn't know mountain gorillas were even a thing until the early 1900s. | ||
| They were a legend. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| When was the discovery of mountain gorillas? | ||
| Don't they think those giant chimps in the Congo are a hybrid? | ||
| No, they don't anymore, because they have DNA. They're the only chimpanzee species, or subspecies, I guess you'd say, that they found that has a crest on its skull like a gorilla. | ||
| 1902, bro. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A German explorer captained Robert von Bering. | ||
| The mountain gorilla was named the Gorilla Gorilla Beringi in honor of the captain. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| Look at those things. | ||
| Imagine that thing. | ||
| How about those? | ||
| That guy who is an anti-poaching agent. | ||
| He helps protect gorillas from poachers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he got them to pose standing up in a selfie. | ||
| And even better, there's video of him tickling the gorillas and the gorillas laughing. | ||
| Laughing like a person. | ||
| Dude, it's crazy. | ||
| So, was there a Bigfoot? | ||
| Fuck yeah, there was a Bigfoot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a real thing. | ||
| That's why there's so many stories about it. | ||
| And it probably died off 100,000 years ago or something. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Do gorillas ever eat meat or they're just vegetarians? | ||
| Not gorillas, no. | ||
| Gorillas are, we are closer to chimpanzees than chimpanzees are to gorillas. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Well, I think it's interesting in Goma where those groups of male chimps expand their territory. | ||
| They kill other males and then move their women and children into the area that they annex. | ||
| Yeah, isn't that crazy? | ||
| As groups fall on the smaller tribes of chimps and decimate them. | ||
| They have so many similarities to humans. | ||
| So many. | ||
| But these Bondo apes, they call them. | ||
| This is the giant chimp. | ||
| They nest on the ground, too, like gorillas. | ||
| Are they as violent as... | ||
| They live in large communities like chimps? | ||
| The locals have two names for chimps over there. | ||
| They have one that they call tree beaters. | ||
| Those are the regular-sized chimps. | ||
| And the other ones they call lion killers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| They're so big. | ||
| They've got videos of these things eating a leopard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They're enormous chimps. | ||
| So they don't know if it killed the leopard or if the leopard died and then they're eating it. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| But they do know one was eating a fucking leopard. | ||
| So you gotta think. | ||
| Yummy kitty cat. | ||
| When they're standing up, they're taller than me. | ||
| I'm 5'8". | ||
| They're 6 feet tall. | ||
| You're 6 feet tall? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they're your height. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your height, but a chimp. | ||
| And a jack chimp. | ||
| God. | ||
| It's probably 250, 300 pounds. | ||
| Well, they say they're 400 pounds. | ||
| The ones in the zoo, they have some in the Kansas City Zoo? | ||
| No, I don't believe they do. | ||
| I think they do. | ||
| No. | ||
| They have two giant chimps. | ||
| Yeah, they're just big chimps. | ||
| Those are just big chimps. | ||
| They're huge, though. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They've had chimps that are over 200 pounds. | ||
| They've had some enormous chimps, but they've never had one of these. | ||
| They live in a very specific area of the Congo. | ||
| But they've seen them. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| They have video of them. | ||
| They have photographs of them. | ||
| You can see videos, and you see camera trap photos. | ||
| They're a real animal. | ||
| It's a really big animal, man. | ||
| It's a really big chimp. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Can you imagine seeing a six-foot chimp? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Dude! | ||
| No, they eat your face and your genitals. | ||
| No thanks. | ||
| Just imagine standing there. | ||
| You turn a corner and there's a chimp as tall as you. | ||
| Looking at you. | ||
| Disaster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have to go low. | ||
| Have you ever seen... | ||
| Yeah, you're not going low. | ||
| No. | ||
| It doesn't matter what you... | ||
| What was that? | ||
| There was a traveling circus where they had a chimp, and they would muzzle it, and they'd have any man, the biggest man, just to hold the chimp down for six seconds, or three seconds, and no man was ever able to do it. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| This is a 150-pound chimp. | ||
| Yeah, and you wouldn't even, even if it was muzzled, man, it could still rip your arms off. | ||
| Like, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're made out of Jell-O. I've held a small one, a baby one. | ||
| It was playing with my puppy. | ||
| And his back felt like wood. | ||
| Wood, yeah, like wood. | ||
| That's a perfect way to describe it. | ||
| That's exactly how I said it. | ||
| Like Dan Henderson probably feels. | ||
| Exactly like Dan Henderson. | ||
| He's got to be part chimp. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I had a two-year-old one once on News Radio. | ||
| And when we were on the set, the scene actually got cut out. | ||
| We never wound up using the scene. | ||
| But there was a guy who was like an animal trainer. | ||
| And he had a couple different animals with him. | ||
| And one was a baby chimp in diapers. | ||
| And this baby chimp got on my back and beat on my back a couple times. | ||
| And I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| It was like you hitting me. | ||
| I was like, wow! | ||
| This fucking little tiny thing just wailed on me. | ||
| They're so strong, dude. | ||
| Yeah, they are. | ||
| Their little bodies are just hard, like corded. | ||
| No neck. | ||
| Take crazy punishment. | ||
| But that thing in the Congo, man, it's apparently in a very difficult spot to reach. | ||
| It's very dangerous to go through there. | ||
| You know, when Justin Wren goes through there, he has some hair-raising stories about being held up at gunpoint. | ||
| People thought they were going to kill somebody. | ||
| A lot of the people, a lot of the apparently... | ||
| A lot of the sort of soldiers and people who committed atrocities from the war in Rwanda kind of, in their bands, kind of moved into the Congo and lived in the jungle. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Justin is a fucking... | ||
| A lot of crime. | ||
| Justin Renn is a saint. | ||
| Yeah, he digs wells. | ||
| He's a legitimate saint. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really is. | ||
| He's gotten malaria three times. | ||
| God. | ||
| Visiting the Congo and building wells. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, he told us some amazing stories. | ||
| Heartbreaking. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| The Cash App, which is one of my sponsors, also sponsors Fight for the Forgotten. | ||
| They give people money. | ||
| They give $5 every time someone signs up and uses the code Joe Rogan. | ||
| And they're building wells right now because of that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was the latest number? | ||
| I forget what the number was. | ||
| They sent me an update. | ||
| Very early on, they had built two wells, and then they built a bunch more. | ||
| And provided water to a shit ton of people down there. | ||
| I don't know the exact statistics. | ||
| The guy who wrote Moonwalking with Einstein, what the hell is it? | ||
| It's a book about memory and stuff. | ||
| Really smart guy. | ||
| He lived with the pygmies in the Congo for a long time. | ||
| Oh, well that's what Justin Wren's doing. | ||
| Yeah, and said that they smoke copious amounts of wheat, at least the tribes that he lived with. | ||
| Is that the book? | ||
| Yeah, Joshua Four. | ||
| Four. | ||
| Really interesting. | ||
| What a name. | ||
| F-O-E-R. Four. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I said, what is it, you know, these are people that truly have been almost untouched by Western civilization. | ||
| And he's like, well, no, I mean, they die of stupid things like, you know, you get an infection. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you just, you know, you don't have antibiotics. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of bacteria and parasites and stuff to get stomach parasites from water. | ||
| Skin diseases and weird things like that. | ||
| Yeah, the jungle's not... | ||
| Even if you've evolved to live in it, it's not a very... | ||
| I spent enough time in the Indonesian rainforest. | ||
| I've never seen bugs like that in my life. | ||
| I've never seen anything like it. | ||
| It's so loud, it sounds like... | ||
| Take the loudest street in Manhattan, and I'm not kidding. | ||
| That's how loud the insects and birds and everything are. | ||
| And then you have to carry a... | ||
| Bug spray does not work. | ||
| Did I ever tell you this? | ||
| Bug spray, you got to carry a sulfur coil? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Good luck with the mosquitoes. | ||
| Bug spray, they laugh at your fucking... | ||
| at your bug spray. | ||
| You got to carry a... | ||
| you have to burn a sulfur coil. | ||
| And you just carry... | ||
| hold it while you're walking? | ||
| That's correct. | ||
| In certain times of the day, when you wake up, they just... | ||
| they're all over the place. | ||
| What year was this that you were doing this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, I was 21. Did they have thermocells back then? | |
| I don't think so. | ||
| Yeah, thermocells are shit. | ||
| Have you ever used a thermocell? | ||
| No, what is that? | ||
| Oh my god, they're a fucking game changer. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's a device that has like a heating coil in it and some fuel. | ||
| And you ignite it, and the heating coil, it heats up, and you put this little pad across the screen. | ||
| And this little pad has this stuff in it that mosquitoes hate. | ||
| It's probably terrible for you. | ||
| Yeah, I was gonna say. | ||
| Some fucking chemical. | ||
| But the chemical wafts up in the air, and I'm telling you, it creates like a 10-foot bubble around you where no mosquitoes get in. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Yeah, and look, even if it's a little bad for you, maybe it's like smoking a pack of cigarettes. | ||
| Yeah, better than getting fed on. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not using it every day. | ||
| I wouldn't recommend using it every day, but if it's the difference between like enjoying, like if you're in a place like Alaska. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| What about Edmonton up there? | ||
| Yes, same thing. | ||
| You came back with like, you look like you had the pox. | ||
| They'll fuck you up, those mosquitoes, man. | ||
| Yeah, they're so aggressive because they're only alive for like three months, you know? | ||
| It's so cold up there. | ||
| Yeah, nature could give a fuck about you. | ||
| I love people who are into nature and they, like, listen, man. | ||
| They don't even know what nature is. | ||
| Yeah, go try to, go, exactly. | ||
| Go try to raise crops in South Africa when animals, when elephants were everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And lions and leopards. | ||
| Or now. | ||
| Even now, these poor villagers, they're poor, and they build these crops, and they have this farm, and they have all this food for their village, and then elephants roam in. | ||
| 20 elephants go, hey man. | ||
| And that's a wrap. | ||
| There's nothing you can do. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here! | ||
| They're like, I'll stomp on you. | ||
| And then people get mad when people shoot the elephants. | ||
| It's like, okay, I get it. | ||
| But I don't know what you want here. | ||
| They have a lot of stories about elephants have this mystique in South Africa. | ||
| There was this guy was a farmer and he had a donkey and it was tied up. | ||
| And the elephants came into his property and he shot guns and got him the hell away from there. | ||
| And then the next day, the elephants came back and stomped his fucking donkey into mush. | ||
| Just stomped. | ||
| The donkey was on a rope. | ||
| And they were like, really? | ||
| Gang, gang, gang. | ||
| And then, of course, the neighboring farm, when the elephants came, she laid out a bunch of food for them. | ||
| And they spared her her crops. | ||
| Elephants have this mystique, which is all... | ||
| By the way, maybe the biggest a-holes in the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Elephants? | |
| They hate everybody. | ||
| But they were so nice. | ||
| I was in Thailand. | ||
| Yeah, there's a Thai elephant, sir. | ||
| They're different? | ||
| African elephants. | ||
| You're not taming an African elephant. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| Okay, Jamie's watching like this little buffalo gets up. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Elephant came over and rolled it over. | ||
| Yeah, they don't give a fuck about you. | ||
| It looks like he's trying to stab him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is. | |
| Oh, he does. | ||
| He's killing. | ||
| So he's killing a baby? | ||
| That's probably a full-grown buffalo. | ||
| That's just a giant elephant. | ||
| Wow, she's fucking up this buffalo. | ||
| They're so dangerous. | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| Elephant stabs and kills buffalo. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Well, that's why they have tusks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there it is. | ||
| You know what's really crazy? | ||
| God, look at that shit. | ||
| When lions take a chance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That was the other video I didn't pull. | ||
| There's three elephants killing a lion. | ||
| That elephant just killed. | ||
| That is the craziest shit. | ||
| They just killed them. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| What's crazy is lions will take a chance on elephants. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Which is just so nuts. | ||
| They will take a chance to try to kill an elephant. | ||
| They'll jump on their back. | ||
| They'll try to jack them. | ||
| Well, when you go to a game reserve in South Africa, it has to be big enough to sustain lions because it's super expensive because a pride of lions will eat everything. | ||
| So you've got to keep replenishing the animals because they're just too effective. | ||
| Well, you know, after that dentist shot Cecil the lion, it became this international outrage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They banned the lion hunting, and because of that, people didn't want to go back, and they weren't getting the money from it, so they wound up euthanizing like 200 lions. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Because their undulate population was getting devastated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| But what made me think when I heard that, I was like, how many lions are they killing? | ||
| Like, how many people are going over there to hunt lions? | ||
| It brings in good money. | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| A huge part of South Africa's, you know, part of the conservation efforts are that, you know, big game. | ||
| You can hunt the big five or whatever they call it. | ||
| Yes, that's exactly what they call it. | ||
| But it's a lot of money. | ||
| It is a lot of money. | ||
| And it brings them a lot of money. | ||
| And it brings them a lot of money for conservation and all that stuff. | ||
| But... | ||
| What a weird activity. | ||
| Is there an activity that's more human in that, like, we are so conflicted and so weird that the only way we have animals that stay alive in this part of the world, like where they're in record populations, is to set it up so you can kill them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, like, we figured out some weird loophole. | ||
| Like, we don't want the rhino to die. | ||
| Hey, we don't want the rhino to die either. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, let's go get a bunch of them and we kill, like, one a week. | |
| Come on. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And if they could get enough rhinos where they could make a case for that, they would be doing that. | ||
| I mean, they're doing it with lions. | ||
| They're doing it with everything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Gazelles. | ||
| I mean, all the different animals that you would think of. | ||
| Plains animals in Africa. | ||
| They're record numbers there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Neil Guy. | ||
| They bring them back to Texas. | ||
| They're all over Texas now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| There's so many animals there. | ||
| And a lot of those animals were on the verge of extinction. | ||
| But they're there because people kill them. | ||
| Like, what a fucking... | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| The bigger issue is unbroken... | ||
| It's a migratory range and habitat. | ||
| The Masai Mara is one of the few places where they can roam for thousands of miles. | ||
| But most of Africa now is broken up into... | ||
| I think there's an area in Cameroon or whatever, but most of Africa is broken up into... | ||
| I mean, in South Africa, it's all basically, with the exception of Kruger Park, it's all abandoned cattle lots. | ||
| And then there's money in it, so you buy that lot and you just stock it with animals and then you drive around. | ||
| It's a sustainable ecosystem, but it's weird. | ||
| You do have to call the elephant population and lion population. | ||
| When we think about Africa, when we say, oh, elephants are going extinct in Africa, Africa is so big. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's so big. | ||
| You've seen the map where they stuff all the countries inside of Africa? | ||
| That was so shocking to me. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I couldn't believe that. | ||
| So there could be an abundance of them in one area and none in another area. | ||
| It's like saying they have a black bear problem in New Jersey, which they do. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Yeah, they do. | ||
| But that doesn't affect us here in California. | ||
| If people just start shooting black bears, you're like, hey man, there's not that many of those. | ||
| Why are you shooting them? | ||
| Is it the same thing with mountain lion? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, one just died. | ||
| A famous one just died. | ||
| Where? | ||
| I got a text from Rinella out here. | ||
| He ate some rat poison. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a real problem with rat poison, man. | ||
| Rat poison doesn't just affect rats. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, there's like... | ||
| There's secondary and... | ||
| My dog almost died that way. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| And what it does is the rat poison, I think, stops you from producing vitamin K in your body, which is how you clot blood. | ||
| And so they just bleed internally. | ||
| So my dog ate a shitload of it, and they pumped his stomach, gave him charcoal, and then he had to take vitamin K supplements for a long time. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the people, they poison their rats, then things eat the rats. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This mountain line is a famous mountain line. | ||
| Collared, you know, one they were tracking. | ||
| Yeah, out here. | ||
| Yeah, Ranella texted me about it, and then I looked into it. | ||
| Oh, you got it there? | ||
| Which number does it say here? | ||
| P-47. | ||
| P-47. | ||
| Is that the one that they spotted at the... | ||
| Not? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| This one's only three years old. | ||
| Hey, we were going to get a photo of that, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, let's do that. | ||
| Oh, yeah, we tracked it down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| It's expensive. | ||
| Yeah, let's do that, though. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Let me know after the show. | ||
| Yeah, I was just like, which one you wanted, the artist proof, whatever, and we got into that detail of it or whatever. | ||
| Yeah, because that one photo that they caught of it, have you seen that photo of the lion with the Hollywood sign behind it? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's one of the best. | ||
| Again, it's so fucking human, because this lion has a collar on it, like it's got bling on. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's standing in front of the Hollywood sign, and it's as big as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love that. | |
| It's like a 150-pound mountain. | ||
| Oh, that's amazing. | ||
| Look at that photo. | ||
| That looks staged. | ||
| It looked staged. | ||
| By the way, look at the muscles. | ||
| Look at its forearm. | ||
| Yeah, that's a ridiculous animal. | ||
| That's one thing that people don't, I don't think you've realized. | ||
| Like, that's not a svelte thing like a house cat. | ||
| That's a lion, sir. | ||
| They have enormous forearms. | ||
| Yeah, it's a lion. | ||
| How much do you think that weighs? | ||
| Bring down an elk. | ||
| I bet that's 130 pounds. | ||
| Yeah, maybe 150. Think about how big that is. | ||
| That doesn't seem big, but you see a Rottweiler, a police dog, like that's, or a German Shepherd, 90 pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| Yeah, good luck. | ||
| And add another 60 pounds, 40 pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a big animal, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's such a big animal, and they're just wandering around our neighborhoods. | ||
| Effective killers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Effective. | |
| I'm having a guy come on who's a mountain lion biologist at a Topanga Canyon. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, and I might actually go and trap one with him. | ||
| How many do they think there are out there? | ||
| There's quite a few. | ||
| This one weighed 150. Wow. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| The one that died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| 150. That is a big cat. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He's only three years old. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Three years old, he weighs 150 pounds. | ||
| Just living on deer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go look around for deer in California. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| There ain't no deer out here. | ||
| There's so few deer. | ||
| If you're a deer hunter in California, you're sad face all year round. | ||
| You're not looking forward to it. | ||
| I see a lot of deer in Topanga. | ||
| Yeah, you see a few. | ||
| They're drawn to me. | ||
| I feed them. | ||
| Are you... | ||
| It's my alpha energy. | ||
| They feel safe with me. | ||
| But do you have a connection with them, do you think? | ||
| To be honest with you, I run with them. | ||
| Have you always been like this? | ||
| They flank me. | ||
| They would never go past me. | ||
| They flank me. | ||
| And when I do my kung fu in an open field, they surround me and they bow until I release them. | ||
| And I go, ha! | ||
| And then they run. | ||
| That's my favorite. | ||
| People that think that they have some sort of special connection with the dog. | ||
| My friend's girlfriend, we're all sitting around. | ||
| My friend's girlfriend, so hot. | ||
| So hot. | ||
| We're sitting there and she goes, and I was meditating and I saw a deer. | ||
| And it looked at me. | ||
| And the deer gave me love. | ||
| And we're all like, I'm just looking at her tits. | ||
| I was a young dude like, Jesus, she's so hot. | ||
| She's such an estrogen, you know. | ||
| And my buddy, of course, you know how you have those words and can't let it go? | ||
| Just let it go, dude. | ||
| Let her have her thing. | ||
| My buddy goes, what? | ||
| Gave you love? | ||
| Explain that shit to me. | ||
| Explain when I get all biological. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| You're close-minded and you're not intuitive. | ||
| I'm really intuitive and it became that. | ||
| Intuitive. | ||
| It's my favorite thing. | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
| But those people that claim they have some special connection with animals, like animals just recognize who I am. | ||
| They know my nature. | ||
| You know who kind of schooled me? | ||
| Megan Fox, I was doing a movie with her, and I assumed she started talking about signs, and I was making fun of psychics and signs, and Megan goes, well, maybe you ever think that maybe you're a little closed-minded? | ||
| And I go, no, I'm not scientific-minded, and no, I'm not, and I think all psychics are liars, and I think astrology is bullshit. | ||
| But then Megan literally went into her knowledge of science and geology and economics Everything else and I was like, oh, you're a fucking... | ||
| Oh, oh, wait. | ||
| You're a really hot intellectual and you know a shitload and I made a judgment on you. | ||
| It was very... | ||
| It was actually embarrassing. | ||
| Isn't that interesting that you would automatically make a judgment on someone who's hot? | ||
| Like, oh, your life's been easy as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And she's not like that. | ||
| Like a judgment that you would make on the son of a rich man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| Like if someone grew up and is in the family business... | ||
| And his father was a very successful man, but he's taking over the family business. | ||
| You would assume this guy's a bitch. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Most of the time. | ||
| Most of the time. | ||
| You're wrong. | ||
| So often, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| It's such a bad bet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because if a great man has a son, most likely he's going to teach that son some cool shit, and the son's going to have to live up to a certain standard. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, that was the thing with Megan. | ||
| I would notice after I had that interaction with her. | ||
| I've known her a little bit because I know her husband really well. | ||
| And then I noticed that every time we wouldn't be shooting, she'd be reading a book of substance. | ||
| Like, that's what she does when she's not on set. | ||
| So I was like, alright. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You're laying an iPhone next to your head. | ||
| What am I doing? | ||
| Another iPhone next to the other side of your head. | ||
| And you're having these weird conversations on video. | ||
| That's my favorite thing you do. | ||
| I gotta start doing that again. | ||
| Dude, those are so funny, man. | ||
| I do that or I talk to the stuntmen and ask them, like, how much they can bench. | ||
| No way, you're a Navy SEAL? So when you shoot... | ||
| The problem with that is it invariably ends up someone pulling out mats. | ||
| And then you start rolling. | ||
| I had Pauline Malignaggi. | ||
| He was at my gym. | ||
| And then he kind of knew. | ||
| He goes, wait a minute. | ||
| I just figured out who the fuck you are. | ||
| You're the guy from the hangover. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| He's freaking out. | ||
| So I take that opportunity to ask him, like, I'm just asking him, like, some boxing questions. | ||
| Next thing I know, he's giving me a boxing lesson. | ||
| How fucking cool is that? | ||
| That is cool. | ||
| Yes, it was three days ago. | ||
| Is he really going to do that bare knuckle boxer? | ||
| Sure is. | ||
| Sure is. | ||
| Yeah, and he's taking it personally. | ||
| Yeah, but man, you don't want to break your hands. | ||
| You don't want to get your face cut up. | ||
| Is he done fighting? | ||
| Like boxing boxing? | ||
| He's like 36, right? | ||
| All I know is he looked like he was in shape. | ||
| And he was giving people pointers. | ||
| I listen to him a lot on Showtime and stuff. | ||
| He's cerebral as hell. | ||
| I mean, he knows the game, man. | ||
| He's a very smart guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He doesn't get hit a lot. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Yeah, and you think about a boxer that can talk as well as he can, as articulate as he is. | ||
| If you watch the way he fights, watch his fights with Adrian Broner. | ||
| He knew how to figure out the puzzle that's Broner's hand speed and power punching. | ||
| He punches in volume. | ||
| He's always in great shape. | ||
| He was showing me patterns, just basic things. | ||
| I was like, damn! | ||
| I really wanted to see the actual sparring match between him and Conor because all the UFC released is Conor cracking him. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's a long one. | ||
| It had to be. | ||
| There had to be some fun moments in that. | ||
| Also, I think apparently Pauly got off a plane and then he wasn't even working out that much. | ||
| He thought he was going to train with them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We're going six rounds or something. | ||
| He was filming. | ||
| What? | ||
| They film it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then they use it as a promo. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Look, people are ruthless, bro. | ||
| The idea that they weren't going to use that is more ridiculous. | ||
| Come on, who are you? | ||
| You don't understand how this business works? | ||
| But he's a Brooklyn kid. | ||
| They're promoting a fight. | ||
| He's a Brooklyn kid. | ||
| He's a smart guy. | ||
| Listen, they're promoting a fight that is going to generate hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue. | ||
| You think that they're going to spare your sensibilities? | ||
| They're going to spare your feelings and not show edited versions of you getting popped up? | ||
| But my problem is, so I have a problem with that all across the board. | ||
| Because I feel like when common decency, fair play, you know, a contract, sort of a contract you enter, I'm coming out to help you out. | ||
| And then what you're going to do is use me. | ||
| Go fuck yourself. | ||
| I believe you paid him. | ||
| I understand it's a business. | ||
| I believe they paid him. | ||
| I'm sure they did. | ||
| I believe he signed paperwork over. | ||
| I'm sure they did, but that's a sneaky move. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it's sneaky. | ||
| And I have a problem with it. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it's sneaky. | ||
| In general, I just don't like justifying anything because it's going to be good promotion. | ||
| I'm always uneasy. | ||
| You know how people say, hey man, bad press, but you're talking about him. | ||
| Yeah, but fuck off. | ||
| I completely agree with you. | ||
| However, to play devil's advocate, if I'm Mr. Businessman, Mr. Moneybags, that shit just went in one ear and out the other. | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| That's a video of some shit that actually happened. | ||
| You hate the truth. | ||
| Because if you hate the truth, I can understand why you wouldn't want to show him that video. | ||
| But Conor did drop him. | ||
| He did hit him with the left hand. | ||
| And it's going to be a great fight. | ||
| Conor McGregor versus Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| And ironically, might have been good... | ||
| For Paulie, in terms of it creating this fight with Art, it creates... | ||
| You're talking about him. | ||
| Although I think Paulie Malignaggi stands on his own, not only as a boxer, but as an announcer. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, he's got a real name. | ||
| And he's an excellent boxer. | ||
| He's probably one of the better commentators in the game, if not the best. | ||
| He's very, very good. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Him and Andre Ward. | ||
| Andre Ward's probably my favorite. | ||
| And Roy Jones Jr. Roy Jones Jr. is outstanding at it, too. | ||
| Yeah, he is. | ||
| Andre Ward. | ||
| He's a brilliant guy. | ||
| Brilliant guy. | ||
| Brilliant guy. | ||
| Just watching him, like, figure out Kovalev, too. | ||
| Right, especially in the second fight. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the fact that, you know, he dropped Kovalev with a body shot. | ||
| And, you know, Kovalev said they didn't give him a chance, that they just stopped the fight. | ||
| But it didn't look like he wanted to keep going. | ||
| I felt like that way with Amir Khan. | ||
| Like, people are like, listen, Amir Khan has nothing to prove. | ||
| He has an amazing record. | ||
| He's fighting a genius... | ||
| In Crawford, and probably, and there's no shame in this, he was supposed to fight Kell Brooks, and he kind of went, you know what? | ||
| This guy is, time is on his side, and he's kind of figured this out. | ||
| He's bigger, and he's going to kidnap. | ||
| He's going to hit me and maybe hurt me here. | ||
| I don't feel like doing this anymore. | ||
| If that was the case, I'd forgive him for everything. | ||
| I thought it was a smart decision. | ||
| Maybe he was really hurt. | ||
| He's a warrior. | ||
| I'm not saying he's not, but... | ||
| The Kell Brook fight would have actually got Amircon more money. | ||
| Yeah, he wanted to test himself. | ||
| And he decided to take the fight against Crawford. | ||
| He's a real fighter. | ||
| If Crawford's not the best pound-for-pound fighter on earth, he's number two. | ||
| He's one or two. | ||
| I want to see him with Earl Spence. | ||
| Well, Earl Spence is fantastic too, but I think the argument of pound-for-pound is Lomachenko and him. | ||
| That's the argument. | ||
| Those two guys are number one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who do you think is number one? | ||
| I mean, I think... | ||
| Are you talking about Earl Spence or are you talking about Crawford? | ||
| Crawford. | ||
| Crawford and Lomachenko. | ||
| I don't think Crawford's fought enough competition. | ||
| Like, when he fights Earl Spence, I think that Lomachenko has probably had more fights than you can really get into this conversation. | ||
| But he hasn't. | ||
| He has less fights. | ||
| But he's had less fights. | ||
| Has he had less fights? | ||
| He won the world title with like four fights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many fights? | ||
| It was something ridiculous like that. | ||
| I mean, he fought a world-class fighter his first time out. | ||
| When I saw him fight Jorge, what was that? | ||
| Amazing Mexican fighter. | ||
| Or somewhere like that. | ||
| Who was the guy he fought? | ||
| Pull up his record here. | ||
| He's 13-1 and Crawford's 35-0. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Big difference. | ||
| But boxing's tricky that way, right? | ||
| So what's the level of competition? | ||
| Is they bring you up slowly? | ||
| Well, the difference is Lomachenko had an extensive amateur background internationally. | ||
| But so did Crawford. | ||
| Crawford had a great amateur background, too. | ||
| Look, Crawford... | ||
| The difference is Crawford's way bigger. | ||
| That's the difference. | ||
| If they were the same size, it would be really interesting to see what would happen. | ||
| But Crawford's a lot bigger than him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He would... | |
| I mean, it's not a good fight. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| But to watch him take Rigondow and all these amazing fighters... | ||
| Rigondio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Rigondio. | |
| Rigondeau? | ||
| I thought it was Rigondeau. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Rigondeau. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The way he's pronounced it in French is Rigondeau. | |
| Rigondeau. | ||
| Rigondeau. | ||
| But yeah, he dismantles people. | ||
| His footwork is unparalleled. | ||
| But Terence Crawford, man, first of all, he's probably the best switch hitter ever next to Marvin Hagler. | ||
| He might be better. | ||
| I mean, it's hard to say. | ||
| How do you game plan for that? | ||
| He fights so good orthodox and then so good southpaw. | ||
| But to watch Linares, that's who Jorge Linares I think is, a sick fighter. | ||
| And to watch him, he knocked Lomachenko down. | ||
| But then, again, this guy figures you out. | ||
| He goes, I know what you're doing now. | ||
| And then you're done. | ||
| Well, so does Crawford. | ||
| That was Anderson Silva in his prime, too. | ||
| He would just figure out your timing. | ||
| Figure out what you do, how you enter, where the gaps are, where the holes are. | ||
| Okay, I see the key to the castle. | ||
| Let's rock. | ||
| And then somewhere around the end of the first round, Anderson would start switching stances on you and fucking doing some Bruce Lee moves. | ||
| And the next thing you know, he's got his foot in your face. | ||
| He just figures you out. | ||
| These guys are just the really elite of the elite fighters. | ||
| They're just the best at solving the little riddle that is what your skills are. | ||
| Now, how do you solve the riddle that is Khabib Nurmagomed? | ||
| That's a different riddle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because that motherfucker's not on the outside boxing you. | ||
| Conor for a while, you know he's going to take you down. | ||
| But what it looked like, Conor for a while was isolating. | ||
| He had two hands on that wrist. | ||
| He was stopping him for a long time from closing his hands. | ||
| And that seemed kind of effective for a while. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, good luck. | ||
| It's a long road. | ||
| That's like saying, you're running a marathon. | ||
| Hey, you know, he beat me in the marathon, but for the first hundred yards, I was way ahead. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's what it's like saying. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| Because it doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| But this is a five-round fight. | ||
| Like, okay, you're keeping me from grabbing my hands for now. | ||
| Are your hands tired yet? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How are your forearms? | ||
| No, I'm going to take you down. | ||
| I'm taking you down. | ||
| He's just going to keep going. | ||
| He's going to take you down. | ||
| That guy's so relentless. | ||
| And the skill level and the endurance level he has to pursue that pace for five rounds. | ||
| I don't think I even appreciate it. | ||
| I mean, I can intellectualize it and I can describe it. | ||
| But I think when you're in there with him, like when he fought Edson Barboza and he had Edson Barboza up against the cage, Come on, buddy. | ||
| It's mine. | ||
| Give up. | ||
| Edson has this... | ||
| No, that was against Michael Johnson. | ||
| Edson has this thousand-yard stare where he's getting mauled. | ||
| It's just like... | ||
| He's breathing. | ||
| He's like, oh, fuck. | ||
| This is a different kind of human being. | ||
| Those Russians are... | ||
| That's a different kind of human being. | ||
| The Tagestanis? | ||
| They grow up fighting? | ||
| Tommy's a baby! | ||
| He's a savage! | ||
| Well, that culture. | ||
| They suffered a great deal. | ||
| That's the look. | ||
| He's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| What the fuck did I sign up for? | ||
| Just getting mauled. | ||
| And I love Khabib. | ||
| Looks like his legs, his body looks like, you know, a guy you see at the pool. | ||
| Kind of works out maybe a little. | ||
| He looks pretty fit. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| No, that guy looks fit. | ||
| Barboza's really muscular. | ||
| Khabib's jacked, man. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| He just isn't. | ||
| Show a photo of Khabib making a most muscular pose or something. | ||
| He's fucking pretty jacked. | ||
| He's just not, though. | ||
| He's just a freak. | ||
| No, not compared to a lot of dudes. | ||
| Yeah, go down there. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| You know, because he's... | ||
| Dude, what are you talking about? | ||
| He's jacked. | ||
| But not, you know... | ||
| He looks like a really strong grappler. | ||
| He's got a full fucking eight pack. | ||
| We know he is, but really... | ||
| Look at him like... | ||
| Shut your mouth. | ||
| Hey, it looks pretty good there. | ||
| Shut your dirty, lie-spilling mouth. | ||
| He's pretty good there. | ||
| What about that one right there? | ||
| How about that one? | ||
| Cut the shit, bro. | ||
| I mean, it's not... | ||
| You look like that. | ||
| I'm on TRT. Yeah, but when you were younger, that's what you looked like? | ||
| It's basically the same. | ||
| If I was in there, you would call it steroids. | ||
| You were always like that. | ||
| Yeah, I was always like that. | ||
| You might have been more muscular, actually, when I first met you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't even take vitamins. | ||
| No, you were just jacked. | ||
| I remember. | ||
| First time on MADtv, you were jacked out of your mind. | ||
| And it was just because you lifted weights. | ||
| Well, that was when I was just getting into jiu-jitsu, so I really started lifting weights heavy because I was tired of getting mauled. | ||
| So I really got into lifting weights. | ||
| I was like, I am weak. | ||
| Because I'm used to striking. | ||
| Striking is so different than grappling. | ||
| So different. | ||
| In terms of the demands on your muscles and your fatigue, it's so... | ||
| And it works the other way, too. | ||
| Because I remember I hadn't done any striking at all in like a year. | ||
| I had done none. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Just Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
| And then my friend Jamie and I started doing, Jamie is a trainer, and we were doing this training session, and he had me hit mitts, too. | ||
| And just hitting mitts for a couple of minutes, I was gassed out. | ||
| I was like, how is this possible? | ||
| I was like, I roll all the time. | ||
| I'm in good shape right now. | ||
| Sparring's that way. | ||
| We get guys who are triathletes or whatever, and they come in, and Wayne McCulloch, Shout out to the great Wayne McCulloch, my trainer who I love. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| That's one of my favorite people in the world. | ||
| Whenever I see him, all is right in the world. | ||
| He's just a humble man. | ||
| Silver medalist in the Olympics. | ||
| World champion. | ||
| And nobody asks him questions in the gym. | ||
| You have this goldmine, this guy here who beat Morales, who fought Prince Nassim to the distance, and nobody knows it. | ||
| And he never tells anybody. | ||
| And I'll see these guys hitting and I'm like, Wayne, why don't you tell them? | ||
| And he goes, they don't ask me. | ||
| I don't bother them. | ||
| He's just the most humble dude in the world. | ||
| It drives me fucking nuts. | ||
| But anyway, we'll get triathletes, people who are in really good shape. | ||
| But if you're sparring and you're afraid to get hit, you stop breathing. | ||
| And so in three minutes, in two minutes, I don't care how good a shape you're in. | ||
| The minute you get punched once, you're like... | ||
| It took me literally, it probably took me three years to get over that in a way. | ||
| Because I have no confidence as a boxer. | ||
| And I shouldn't. | ||
| Why are you getting punched in the head? | ||
| What is going on with you? | ||
| I'm not getting punched hard. | ||
| How hard? | ||
| I mean, sometimes, my buddy Chris from Boston is a giant, and he'll, by accident, sometimes, you know, you get connected and stuff, but, you know, you learn how to kind of keep your hands up. | ||
| But you're getting older. | ||
| You worried about that? | ||
| I'm insecure, bro. | ||
| But you're worried about your brain getting rattled? | ||
| I sure am. | ||
| I was a little cloudy. | ||
| I stopped for a little while. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So you're getting cloudy from getting hit? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I said to Brendan, I said, you know, he has no time for this shit. | ||
| He gets so mad at me. | ||
| He just goes, you're older. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| Oh, you're getting a little clay? | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| So keep that shit up, man. | ||
| He storms off. | ||
| Yeah, well, he came to the realization. | ||
| He ducked it. | ||
| Yeah, he was, oh, I don't know. | ||
| He was sparring with fucking Shane Carlin and Nate Marquardt and all those guys and throwing up after his training sessions. | ||
| And he played football forever. | ||
| I'll be all right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll be all right. | ||
| He quit, though, at the right time. | ||
| He really did. | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| I mean, he's fine. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He made it out at the right time. | ||
| Yeah, I'm so invested in him like he's my brother. | ||
| So whenever he talks about CT, I'm like, no, you're okay. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| He goes, you're a doctor? | ||
| I go, you're fine. | ||
| I promise. | ||
| It's not going to happen. | ||
| I don't like to think about it. | ||
| Well, I mean, he's honest. | ||
| If he wasn't doing good, he'd tell you. | ||
| If he wasn't feeling good, he'd tell you. | ||
| That's very true. | ||
| I think everybody needs someone who they trust implicitly that can pull the cord on them and to tell them, hey man, you gotta stop getting hit. | ||
| And for young fighters, man, it is such a hard decision to make. | ||
| I've talked to several guys that have to tell their fighter, several trainers that have to tell their fighters to retire, and it's never easy. | ||
| It's never easy. | ||
| And sometimes the fighter will leave and go with a different trainer and be successful. | ||
| In this one case, the trainer was like, I wish him well. | ||
| I'm sure he can still beat guys. | ||
| That's not the problem. | ||
| The problem is he's showing some obvious signs of deterioration mentally, neurologically, the way he moves, the way he talks. | ||
| A person who cares about you is going to go, okay, we had a lot of fun. | ||
| It was a great run. | ||
| You're fine right now. | ||
| You can talk and we can treat whatever problems come up. | ||
| Apparently CBD is fantastic for that. | ||
| I've heard. | ||
| For a lot of people with brain issues and a lot of, you know, inflammation issues because of trauma. | ||
| There's a lot of stuff they do. | ||
|
unidentified
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I don't know. | |
| That magnetic stuff that Pat Zingano did. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| They're doing down in San Diego on Soldiers where they put the electrodes to your brain. | ||
| I know a guy's doing that right now. | ||
| A SEAL guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't think I've ever met a fighter who is retired who doesn't still feel like they could fight for the belt. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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They all want to come back. | |
| Even Chuck Liddell, when he did Fighter and Kid, was like, I'd like to throw my hat in there against Jon Jones. | ||
| I'm a pretty good wrestler. | ||
| Like, he was already 48. Yeah. | ||
| But you never lose that. | ||
| Part of what makes you a great fighter and a killer is that sort of love of the game. | ||
| If you ask Paulie Malignaggi right now, I guarantee, I guarantee, if you're like, could you fight for a title right now? | ||
| He goes, I'd put my hat in there. | ||
| Fighters are like that. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| That's why they're... | ||
| I mean, that's why they become successful in the first place. | ||
| If you think about how you are when you first start out, even if you're like real athletic, you're fucking terrible. | ||
| You know, you're hitting the bag, your feet are off, even if you hit it hard, like you're doing something wrong, you're clumsy, you're wide open afterwards, there's something that someone who's really good will expose. | ||
| And then eventually, you learn skills, and as you learn skills, you see those holes, you tighten all those holes up, and then you become far better than you were. | ||
| But the only reason why you can do that is because you think you're a bad motherfucker from the jump. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like you hit that bag hard and you're like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck everybody up. | ||
| And you start believing that. | ||
| And then as you get skills, you're like, Jesus, I'm glad I didn't get into a real fight with a real fighter early on. | ||
| Because that is one of the most insidious things that trainers do. | ||
| They'll throw their fighter to the wolves. | ||
| Like they'll set their fighter up with some young up-and-coming phenom who's just smashing people. | ||
| And it's hard to get them fights. | ||
| And they'll get this guy to fight them. | ||
| You know, because there's a few guys that'll just fight anybody. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| And they've only been doing it for like a year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're going to take that fight against him? | ||
| He's got 16-0. | ||
| Look, I'm sure the Diaz brothers, when they went into Andre Ward's camp in Oakland, they were banging. | ||
| And I'm sure from day one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I was talking to Nate Diaz. | ||
| I was like, but you guys go light. | ||
| He goes, no, we bang. | ||
| They bang. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I talked to Joe Schilling about that the first time he ever met Nick. | ||
| And he's talking to Nick's friend. | ||
| Nick's like, okay, you got a cup? | ||
| You got your mouth? | ||
| And Joe said to Nick's friend, he goes, are we fighting? | ||
| He goes, yeah. | ||
| He goes, alright. | ||
| We're just fighting. | ||
| He just knew, like, this is going to be fighting. | ||
|
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Damn. | |
| It's like, are we sparring or are we fighting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they wind up fighting. | ||
| I think as you get better and better at it, it probably becomes addictive. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Because every time I go in there and I go, I'm not going to spar, but then there's somebody. | ||
| And then you say, we'll just move around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But then... | ||
| Well, they're also testing each other, too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, Nick is a world-class fighter. | ||
| Joe Schilling's a world champion kickboxer. | ||
| That's a whole different level. | ||
| His striking's... | ||
| Evil. | ||
| Joe Schilling has evil striking. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| He fucks people up. | ||
| Just to be standing next to him, too. | ||
| He's also just big, long, and athletic. | ||
| He's just like, oh, God. | ||
| He's doing very well in MMA now. | ||
| Is he really? | ||
| He got nasty fucking ground and pound in his last fight, man. | ||
| Really? | ||
| When you get a guy that good at slashing people with elbows and punching people and you get him on top of you, their ground and pound is on another level. | ||
| Because they can generate serious power in short distances like a lot of grapplers have a hard time with. | ||
| Like, do you remember when Crow Cop got on top of Gonzaga and opened his face up with an elbow? | ||
|
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Yep. | |
| It was horrific, but it was inside the guard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you were a real good striker a short amount of distance. | ||
|
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Boom! | |
| Brendan said that's the strongest guy he's ever felt. | ||
| Crow Cop? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Strong motherfucker, man. | ||
| Powerful. | ||
| Those ridiculous legs. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Those legs that belong on a fucking elefante. | ||
| Elefante. | ||
| Oh, so going back to this asteroid impact. | ||
| Oh, sorry. | ||
| There's a layer somewhere around 66 million years ago that indicates that the Earth got hit by an asteroid. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| Didn't I say that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The layer is high in iridium, I think, and iridium is very rare on Earth but very common in space. | ||
| And there's a bunch of other indications that that's the time that it hit. | ||
| But what they're saying in the Radiolab one is that the current state of understanding is that the dinosaurs and basically most things died within the first couple hours. | ||
| Like all the dinosaurs. | ||
| They were all dead. | ||
| And apparently their bones or their fossils are in that iridium layer a lot of times. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| They find them before, too. | ||
| They just don't find any after. | ||
| They think that their blood boiled in their body. | ||
| They think it got so hot that during the few hours it got to 700, 1000 degrees, 1200 degrees. | ||
| It just got insanely hot. | ||
| Dude, we're trying to get better at stand-up and stay in shape. | ||
| Now I've got to worry about fucking... | ||
| That's a full-time job. | ||
| Raise my kids. | ||
| That's what we really should be thinking about. | ||
| Not just how bad we're fucking the Earth up, but how bad something could fuck the Earth up from the sky. | ||
| That's what we really should be paying attention to. | ||
| Instead of paying attention to so many nonsensical things that people concentrate on, there's a real chance that we could get hit in our lifetime with something that ends civilization. | ||
| That 100% can happen. | ||
| I had Graham Hancock on last week, and we were going over his new book. | ||
| This book, where is it? | ||
| Isn't it right here, Jimmy? | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| It's fucking, it's excellent. | ||
| And Graham was talking about, it's called America Before. | ||
| It's the evidence of civilizations in the Americas, in North America, particularly in the Amazon. | ||
| They think that there was millions of people living in the Amazon. | ||
| But when the European explorers came over here, they gave them smallpox and wiped out everyone. | ||
| And they came back hundreds of years later and there was nothing. | ||
| The entire civilization wiped out by diseases. | ||
| I feel like in 1492, I think when the Spanish came up through the Mississippi Delta... | ||
| The same thing. | ||
| Yeah, same thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They wiped out 90—a lot of people think that the genocide of the Native Americans was just European soldiers and people and settlers killing Native Americans, which did happen. | ||
| Yeah, but it was also influenza. | ||
| But 90% of them were killed by disease. | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| 90%. | ||
| Like, the entire population— Well, they even had certain government policies where they're like, you missionaries are going out there and trying to convert them to Christianity. | ||
| You're giving them your diseases. | ||
| They knew that back then? | ||
| They knew that. | ||
| They were like, they're getting sick and they're dying of, you know, all of a sudden they were like, we're getting these colds and people are dying. | ||
| They didn't have any resistance to it. | ||
| Those dirty Europeans with their shit water chutes outside their house and all the fucking vermin running around. | ||
| That was War of the Worlds. | ||
| Remember War of the Worlds? | ||
| The movie? | ||
| How'd they die? | ||
| They weren't ready for pathogens. | ||
| That's my whole philosophy. | ||
| We all try to be tough. | ||
| One of the things about all of us as men or anybody is we hate to be vulnerable. | ||
| So, you know, I train and I stay in shape. | ||
| I eat well and I want to live forever. | ||
| I don't think there's anything such thing as... | ||
| I don't think there's... | ||
| You can be really ready for a situation, you know, in a bar, I guess, and then you get bit by a tick, or you get a flesh-eating disease, and you die. | ||
|
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So I don't know if there's any way to protect yourself. | |
| Well, I mean, you can protect yourself, but you are ultimately very vulnerable. | ||
| But then what this Radiolab was freaking me out about was that there's so many of those things floating around the sky. | ||
| I mean, this is what Graham talked about in not just this book, but in previous books, that they think that something slammed into the earth somewhere in the past that ended the Ice Age, probably wiped out a giant chunk of the large megafauna on North America. | ||
| It led to the almost instantaneous extinction of so many different animals. | ||
| And so it goes. | ||
| Yeah, and so it goes. | ||
| And it can happen again. | ||
| There could be a super volcano. | ||
| There's all kinds of things like that. | ||
| All these fucking things. | ||
| It really makes you wonder. | ||
| What if an asteroid was going to hit Denver? | ||
| NASA was practicing that this week. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Denver. | ||
| They've done this before. | ||
| They've had like a practice run using a bunch of the different... | ||
| Here's a practice run. | ||
| Get in the boat. | ||
| Go to Australia. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I have to go pee. | ||
|
unidentified
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Go pee. | |
| Just haul my thing. | ||
| You got to go to Australia. | ||
| Talk about me being in Miami. | ||
| I'll talk about you. | ||
| You're beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| May 9th, 10th, 11th at the Improv. | ||
| Are you doing comedy there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Orlando. | ||
| Talk about complicated... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Promote me. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Brian Callen is going to be in Miami at the Improv. | ||
| And talk about Orlando. | ||
| And in Orlando, if you go to bryancallen.com, it'll have all that stuff. | ||
| I just ran across this, too, on the screen, on Twitter. | ||
| What happened to that dude's head? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I had an affair with a woman, and her husband came home early, tried to escape through the window, but ended up falling on a metal beam. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| Oh my god, it went through his head. | ||
| How'd they get the beam off? | ||
| They have to saw the beam off? | ||
| Probably, yeah. | ||
| Holy shit, bro. | ||
| I just saw the picture, I was like, what the fuck is that? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's alive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then there's pictures of this happening in the past, too. | ||
| Jesus Christ, that guy had one eye because of it. | ||
| Oh my god, it went through his head. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird how people survive from injuries. | ||
| That's basically a lobotomy, yeah. | ||
| When they stopped doing those, we haven't really talked about it too much, but I remember looking it up. | ||
| They just would dig a hole right through your eye and scramble your brain with a piece of metal. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| And they did that because you were just too annoying? | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| People were crazy. | ||
| They would just do it. | ||
| They were doing them up until in the 1900s. | ||
| I don't know if it stopped in the 50s or 40s at the exact time. | ||
| What do you think they're doing now, besides circumcision, that people are going to look back on like that and go, what the fuck were they thinking? | ||
| What do you think they're doing now? | ||
| Um... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just we keep learning different strategies to fix stuff. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| But the lobotomy is not even a strategy to fix stuff. | ||
| It's like chaos. | ||
| It worked, though, in some cases. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Did it? | |
| It must have. | ||
| Had to have. | ||
| Well, maybe it stopped them from being super violent or something. | ||
| Controlling people would probably be enough. | ||
| Bullets. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| Why do they give someone a lobotomy? | ||
| What's the chief reason for giving someone a lobotomy? | ||
| What would you guess? | ||
| Psychosis? | ||
| Yeah, they didn't have an answer probably for pharmaceuticals back then, so they just said, fucking scramble the brain somehow. | ||
| It's fucked up to me that your brain would still work. | ||
| It's a neurological treatment of a mental disorder that involves severing the connections between the brain's prefrontal cortex. | ||
| You made it too big. | ||
| What, lobotomy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, sorry, you're interviewing me. | ||
| Most of the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex and the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain are severed. | ||
| What did they do that for, Brian? | ||
| Because when you had a personality that was, when you were crazy, they would take out the part of your brain, I guess, that was... | ||
| Reactive. | ||
| And that gave you essentially a personality. | ||
| So when you were lobotomized, you were really kind of a normal person. | ||
| Have you ever seen the movie Frances? | ||
| They gave her a lobotomy. | ||
| Wow, look at this kid. | ||
| They lobotomized a little kid with a lot of people. | ||
| They did it to a little kid? | ||
| Yeah, horrifying. | ||
| Why'd they do it to that little kid? | ||
| They'd scramble your brain. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| If I remember right, there was one guy, he was doing up to like 70 a day or something like that. | ||
| That's like three an hour. | ||
| Yeah, that's what they would do. | ||
| All day long. | ||
| I think Le Motivy would help you, they'd say. | ||
| You know, I'm reading this guy, David Epstein. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| But there were people who, you know, they had electric shock therapy and they were crazy and they would try all these things. | ||
| Catatomic schizophrenia, she says she has. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just look at her smiling 16 months later. | ||
| They would try these things. | ||
| So before and after? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So it worked. | ||
| The lobotomy worked. | ||
| She was just smiling everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But she would smile if she saw a baby get run over by a car. | ||
| She would smile if she saw a house catch on fire. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| I'm reading this book on the brain, sort of. | ||
| That guy David Epstein, he wrote The Sports Gene, where he found the fastest people in the world, a tiny part of Africa, the people that run the farthest, which is the highlands of Kenya. | ||
| Really fascinating book. | ||
| He's a sports illustrator writer. | ||
| And then there's a new book coming out called Range, which And it's about how when you teach a kid or when you learn a lot of different disciplines, so if you're some of the best violinists, some of the best athletes, whatever, they didn't specialize. | ||
| It's probably a bad idea to specialize from a very early age. | ||
| The exception is, like Tiger Woods, he compares Tiger Woods and Roger Federer. | ||
| Tiger Woods was raised to be a golfer from the age of two. | ||
| His dad was already having him... | ||
| He was watching, having him watch how he swings and everything. | ||
| And Roger Federer, greatest tennis player ever, was playing into music, playing soccer, playing anything with a ball, and didn't really get into tennis, didn't really find his love of tennis until he was in his teens. | ||
| And a lot of musicians, great musicians, who are innovative... | ||
| So whether it's Duke Ellington or whatever, the great ones, who make original music, a lot of them are self-taught and a lot of them played a lot of instruments until they started to focus on that one instrument that spoke to them. | ||
| And he uses all these different examples of how generalizing and doing a lot of different things informs It essentially informs your ability to become really good at one thing when you finally decide to do that. | ||
| That's a really kind of cool book because a lot of parents are specializing. | ||
| A lot of parents are like, you're going to play baseball? | ||
| That's what we're going to play. | ||
| Camp and everything else, we're just going to practice that. | ||
| Bad idea. | ||
| Bad idea according to this. | ||
| With the exception of very few skills. | ||
| Like golf. | ||
| But everything else is you want to really expose your kid to a wide variety of things. | ||
| Because for whatever it does with all the neurons and stuff, you're able to get better at something when you're practicing another thing. | ||
| Well, that makes sense to me. | ||
| It also makes sense to me that you'd want to get your kid exposed to a lot of things to find out what they actually enjoy. | ||
| Because sometimes you enjoy something and you go, oh, but I don't enjoy it as much as this. | ||
| You find some new thing and you're like, that's even better. | ||
| I'm sure you went through things like that, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I did. | |
| But a lot of parents, like a lot of, he was talking about tiger moms, they'll say, you have a choice, but you're playing the violin and you're playing the piano and you're not playing any other instrument. | ||
| We're going to get better at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those people are crazy. | |
| Yeah, well the problem is it stifles innovation. | ||
| You become really pedantic and good at following instructions, but you're not going to be very innovative. | ||
| You'll be really technically good, but it tends to. | ||
| You also want to be naughty, and you wind up doing weird shit. | ||
| Like Yo-Yo Ma, he tried a bunch of different instruments until he finally said, I'm going to play this. | ||
| Yeah, you want to be naughty. | ||
| You want to fight it. | ||
| Yeah, you want to fight mommy. | ||
| And you probably have some weird mommy porn in your bookmarks. | ||
| There's amazing amounts of stepmom porn. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's all stepmoms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Your father's gonna be so mad at you. | |
| Well, mom. | ||
| Mom or a derivative of mom is, I think, the second most typed in word in a Pornhub. | ||
| What's number one? | ||
| Sister? | ||
| A lot of sister porn, too. | ||
| Youth, young, tits, something to do with young. | ||
| But mom is another thing. | ||
| Granny porn is huge in Kenya and the UK. Do you know why, they think? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because you're raised by an older lady or an older man, your headmaster, they're in a position of authority and as you're coming to... | ||
| Well, as you're coming to and you're formulating your point of view of the world and making sense of the world, you tend to sexualize whatever's in front of you. | ||
| I guess that makes sense. | ||
| You imprint. | ||
| So, so, gilfs and, you know, that's kind of hot shit. | ||
| Yeah, grandmas, I'd like to fuck. | ||
| What kind of world we live in? | ||
| My friend's wife. | ||
| He catches her watching... | ||
| Grandma porn? | ||
| Gray old men banging gals. | ||
| She's into the gray. | ||
| She's into old dudes. | ||
| She's into old guys. | ||
| Like real old? | ||
| Like dinosaur? | ||
| Your body looks like warm cheese. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| You understand? | ||
| Why would they like that? | ||
| I don't... | ||
| It's... | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| That is a weird thing, though, that you hear that some women like. | ||
| Like, really old guys. | ||
| You don't hear that from women. | ||
| Or from men, rather. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What does it say? | ||
| The world's newest photos of gilf? | ||
| I bet she was hot as fuck back in the 80s. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| Yeah, what are you going to do? | ||
| Listen, man. | ||
| Old hoes, they're just hoes that got old. | ||
| Look at that one. | ||
| I had a friend from Uruguay who was super macho. | ||
| You didn't show that on the screen, did you? | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| Who was that? | ||
| No, don't. | ||
| Poor lady. | ||
| His grandma with ridiculous fake boobs. | ||
| My friend, he was from Uruguay, super macho, and he didn't have a lot of money, and he was kind of a gigolo. | ||
| He was having sex with this woman. | ||
| He goes, she's old, she's very old. | ||
| I said, I go, what does she look like when she's naked? | ||
| It's a disaster. | ||
| I can't look to her. | ||
| When she goes to the bathroom, I have to look over here, because there has to be no light, because it's a disaster. | ||
| Why is he doing that? | ||
| But he goes, he goes, but you know, when she looks at me, you know, when she's, you know, she sees me, I come like this, you know, I'm young. | ||
| The eyes, her eyes, it make me hard. | ||
| I'll never forget this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was like, what the fuck? | |
| Well, some people are really into people being really into them. | ||
| Yes, he just wants to be admired. | ||
| I've known some women like that who are into dating trolls. | ||
| I mean trolls because they've never had a woman like that and they're like, the fuck? | ||
| And they're just dirty. | ||
| My sister had a friend like that. | ||
| Her friend was only into guys that she knew she could do better. | ||
| Oh, it's fantastic. | ||
| She wanted them to worship her. | ||
| Well, apparently there's a psychology where a lot of men will overfeed their wives and get them super fat so that they don't step out on them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, jeez. | |
| There's a lot of subconscious behaviors that go on. | ||
| God, why aren't people so goddamn crazy? | ||
| I don't know, trauma? | ||
| You know that Carl Jung, is it the Carl Jung fucking line that says, that which we don't work out in our subconscious, we will act out as fate in our lives. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| Because you will relive patterns. | ||
| You'll relive trauma. | ||
| You will relive these patterns. | ||
| And you'll do it on your own terms. | ||
| And you'll wonder why you keep... | ||
| Why do you keep dating the same person? | ||
| Why do you keep falling into the same problem? | ||
| Why after two years does this go bad? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Well, there's a way to actually creatively at least sit with that and observe it and be aware of it. | ||
| That's what therapy does. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| You make the unconscious conscious that will direct your life and you will call it fate. | ||
| What a great quote. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Until you make the unconscious conscious. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of fucking strings pulling on you from the back of your brain. | ||
| It will direct your life and you will call it fate. | ||
| Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people. | ||
| Well, that's what Nietzsche, that's why I like Nietzsche. | ||
| Nietzsche's idea was like, look, man, you can have these false models of life, which is, a lot of times, life is a bitch, right? | ||
| And you're not going to be able to compete or you don't want it. | ||
| So what you'll do is you'll go, it's okay, meek will inherit the earth. | ||
| That's alright. | ||
| You have money, but is he happy? | ||
| Is he happy? | ||
| We make all of us do this. | ||
| We make excuses to not live our best life. | ||
| And he was like, nah, live dangerously and try to be the best you can be. | ||
| Just work your ass off. | ||
| And if you have to die, if you have to take risks and die, leave a good looking corpse. | ||
| It's the idea of turning your life into a fucking circus. | ||
| Do you think the meek will inherit the earth? | ||
| Do you think if that was a prophecy that they would be talking about technologists, they would be talking about like the people that run Twitter and Google and Facebook and the internet tech people, which is… If you think about the amount of money that Facebook has, the amount of money that YouTube has, these enormously influential tech companies, even Amazon, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who are they? | ||
| These are nerds. | ||
| They're nerds, but they're very aggressive nerds, and they're very thoughtful nerds, and they're very competitive nerds. | ||
| So I don't consider them the meek. | ||
| Who's the meek? | ||
| So I think the philosophy behind that... | ||
| And I think the United States also works on this premise in a sense, is the American dream. | ||
| So what keeps the masses from rising up and taking the money from people, the have-nots, from taking money from the haves? | ||
| And especially when the haves... | ||
| You know, are rather slim in number in comparison to the large portion of the population that has, say, $500 in the bank. | ||
| Well, what's great about the United States, what's always worked about the United States, the reason we don't have the French Revolution in this country, It's because the American dream is about potential. | ||
| There is a potential. | ||
| I may not have money now, but I may, and I will, because I know I will because I'm an optimist. | ||
| I will be in the 1% eventually. | ||
| I got an idea, bro. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's a great idea. | ||
| And people need that hope. | ||
| You take that hope away, you take the ability, you take the idea that there's no way I can ever... | ||
| Esteem out of my condition. | ||
| You better be careful. | ||
| So potential. | ||
| The potential to be better. | ||
| The potential to be wealthier. | ||
| Think about how all of us, a lot of us, as we get older... | ||
| Do you think that's what the meek will inherit the earth meant? | ||
| I think it's in that area. | ||
| I think it meant that people that aren't creating war was probably the people that were left over. | ||
| No, I think it's a way... | ||
| No, I think it's a way of getting people to at least live with the fact that I'm a serf. | ||
| I'm a peasant. | ||
| I have no way to esteem out of my condition, but at least I have the afterlife. | ||
| At least I know that if I live and I suffer well and I suffer quietly and I suffer with dignity, there will be a reward after this. | ||
| What is the conventional definition or the conventional meaning to that statement, the meek will inherit the earth? | ||
| How do scholars interpret that? | ||
| Well, religious. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| But, I mean, how do they interpret that? | ||
| I think it's in the same vein as it's harder for a camel to pass through an eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. | ||
| So, you know, that famous story where Christ said, if you want to follow me to the rich guy, he said, Give up all your money and the rich guy turned, hung his head and walked away and he said, poor guy, it's so hard for the rich to give up their life of privilege. | ||
| It's very difficult. | ||
|
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|
Do you think Jesus was a real person? | |
| Historically, I think there was probably a rabbi named Jesus of Nazareth. | ||
| That seems to be the conclusion among a lot of historians. | ||
| And he was a radical man, because he simplified Judaism. | ||
| He was simplifying Judaism to say, look... | ||
| You know, you could follow the book of Leviticus and all the rituals it takes to become a good Jew, which is, there's a certain way to quarter a calf, and there's a certain way, certain things you can't eat, and you have to bathe, and you have to do all these rituals. | ||
| And he said, way too complicated. | ||
| We're never going to spread the word this way. | ||
| He said, just make it simple. | ||
| Do what Rabbi Hillel said in the Old Testament. | ||
| Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you, and hold only one God as your God, you know, the Father, so that we're all... | ||
| The idea of a monolithic God is that there's one Father, we're all brothers and sisters. | ||
| That way, we're all of the same moral worth. | ||
| That way, I can't judge you. | ||
| That way, I don't know what you're worth. | ||
| Only God does. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know where you have, I don't know what your value is. | ||
| You're a human being. | ||
| I can't quantify that. | ||
| I think, I think that's a beautiful thing. | ||
| I think we all benefit from that religious and that Judeo-Christian idea, whether we know it or not. | ||
| And if you want to replace that, my only issue with atheists Is if you want to try to replace that irrational idea, that irrational idea that we're all the same moral worth, because you can't prove it, mathematically or biologically, but what are you going to replace that with? | ||
| Rationality? | ||
| You want to run a society on rationality? | ||
| They can't do that? | ||
| Well, that's the most dangerous idea in the world. | ||
| What about ethics? | ||
| It's still the most dangerous idea in the world because ethics have to be predicated. | ||
| There's got to be bedrock that you can warrant. | ||
| The most dangerous idea in the world. | ||
| Well, because let me give you an example. | ||
| It's very rational, mathematically, to suggest that anybody who is mentally handicapped is draining resources from our gifted children. | ||
| And I'm telling you now, in a lot of societies throughout history... | ||
| What if we live in abundance? | ||
| There's plenty of people to take care of the people that are handicapped. | ||
| Because abundance doesn't always last, and you can't predict abundance. | ||
| And a lot of times there isn't. | ||
| But it's here right now. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Not for a lot of people. | ||
|
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|
It's not? | |
| Right here? | ||
| It'd be very easy to justify if you were just prayed to the God of rationality. | ||
| It'd be very easy to justify. | ||
| And people have done this in history, which is what I worry about. | ||
| Hey, let's get rid of all the people that are draining our resources, because they're hopeless anyway. | ||
| People on breathing machines, people who are severely retarded, whatever they are, severely handicapped. | ||
| They're a draining resource. | ||
| I know you love them, but listen, we need this money for over here. | ||
| You're in a hospital, you're taking money. | ||
| The very old, the very infirm… So you think we need religion to keep you from taking people off life support? | ||
| Well, I will say that I think religion, and specifically the Judeo-Christian ethic, and I include Islam in that… And by the way, I mean, Buddhism talks about the sacredness of a sentient being. | ||
| These religions are there because, and I think we benefit from it. | ||
| I think that all of us... | ||
| I think we do too. | ||
| I mean, where does our justice system is predicated? | ||
| It's predicated on the idea that all men are created equal. | ||
| We benefit from it, but there's also real problems with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| There's real problems with any ideology. | ||
| But be careful in what you... | ||
| But what I don't understand is why you think it can't be replaced with logic and reason. | ||
| Because logic and reason has pitfalls. | ||
| But you're assuming that logic and reason doesn't also have compassion. | ||
| So you wouldn't have compassion for the people that are mentally handicapped. | ||
| Oh, it does. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It's too fickle. | ||
| What I'm trying to say is this. | ||
| There's something very irrational and very religious about the idea that all men are created equal. | ||
| That we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, right? | ||
| And Yuval Harari talks about this brilliantly in his book, which is that You cannot prove mathematically or biologically that the idea that all men are created equal... | ||
| Is that sapiens or the newborn? | ||
| Yeah, sapiens. | ||
| Is real, right? | ||
| Because we're not. | ||
| Again, LeBron James, if he's standing next to me, we're not equal. | ||
| He's my chocolate avatar, right? | ||
| But, we inherently know that our humanness, our human essence... | ||
| Yeah, you're not equal physically. | ||
| He's a super athlete. | ||
| But I'm funny. | ||
| Or I have my own gifts. | ||
|
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|
Maybe he's funny too. | |
| Wouldn't that suck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What if he went on stage and murdered? | ||
| There are people... | ||
| What if he was like Eddie Murphy 2.0? | ||
| There are people that are better. | ||
| Wouldn't that suck though? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| If he was LeBron James and he was funnier than you? | ||
| Well, he's not a bad actor, I'll tell you that much. | ||
| Imagine if he was really funny. | ||
| Like, if you couldn't follow him. | ||
| That's when I give him my girl. | ||
| Can you imagine that though? | ||
| I would present him with my girl as a gift. | ||
| He's like what? | ||
| Six foot what? | ||
| Eleven? | ||
| He's six nine. | ||
| Okay, six nine. | ||
| Six foot nine. | ||
| 265. Built like a god. | ||
| Faster than everybody and stronger than everybody. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And murders on stage at the store. | ||
| And when you eat the mic, you have to go like this to get the mic. | ||
|
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|
That's right. | |
| Bring it down to you because you have to go on after him. | ||
| And that's when I say to him. | ||
| He's got it in the mic stand. | ||
| It's fucking seven feet in the air. | ||
| Yeah, and I go, Mr. James, I'd like to be your traveling concubine. | ||
| I'm probably not your type. | ||
| Well, he doesn't want that. | ||
| I'm not your type. | ||
| No, you're useless. | ||
| I'll take culinary classes and I'll cook. | ||
| Let me cook for you. | ||
| No, he's got people that shut the fuck up that carry the bags. | ||
| I'll polish your shoes, sir. | ||
| No, you're too annoying, man. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| You'll stare at his dick all day? | ||
| I just want to connect with you. | ||
| Ask him questions about what a man he is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| What do you squat? | ||
| Leave him alone. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'll just be in the corner. | ||
| Just write better jokes. | ||
| Sir, I'd like to be a gimp. | ||
| That would be so embarrassing. | ||
| Like if a guy was that good at basketball, but then was like a natural at comedy. | ||
| He started murdering in comedy. | ||
| Or like a fighter. | ||
| Like what if Terrence Crawford turned out to be the funniest fucking dude in the world? | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
| And he not just fucks people up in the ring, but then Terrence Crawford starts doing sets at the Comedy Store and murdering. | ||
| And then he's got a Netflix special and he's murdering. | ||
| And you're like, no! | ||
| How can we go so good at these things? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But listen, there are people that are better at everything sometimes. | ||
| I mean, there are. | ||
| Well, there's definitely... | ||
| Look, Elon Musk is a good example of that. | ||
| How many fucking things can that guy do at once? | ||
| But at the same time, what I'm saying is that you can't quantify a human being because you don't know what their potential is and you don't know where they're strong. | ||
| Listen, stop. | ||
| If LeBron James murders on stage, he's better than you. | ||
| He's not following me. | ||
| He's better than you at everything. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| If he murders... | ||
| Following you. | ||
| You gotta follow him. | ||
| He's gonna murder, and then the king has left the building. | ||
| He's gonna drop the mic and walk away. | ||
| Yeah, it'd be a problem. | ||
| And then you gotta go on after him. | ||
| But you can't be that good at two things, right? | ||
| I mean... | ||
|
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|
Wow! | |
| Who says? | ||
| Well, I mean, to be really good... | ||
| What if he decides... | ||
| How much do you put into it? | ||
| You can be really good at two things, but I think like three times is my whole life. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| What if he puts the kind of effort that he puts into getting good at basketball into getting good at stand-up? | ||
| Different muscle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One muscle's lazy. | ||
| One muscle doesn't really write and work. | ||
| For the amount of hours that we work on our craft versus the amount a basketball player has to practice. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| Oh, he's murdering! | ||
| This is Blake Griffin. | ||
| He's been trying to do stand-up in the off-season the last couple years. | ||
| More when he was living in L.A. He got traded to Detroit now, so it's a little bit harder for him probably, but he's been doing good. | ||
| He's good? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, from what I've heard from people that have seen it. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| There you go, motherfucker. | ||
| He's 6'10". | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| Stand-up doesn't care. | ||
| It's a long road. | ||
| I'll see you in 10 years. | ||
| It can work, though. | ||
| If he does it, what I'm saying is, you take a guy who has the kind of Discipline and work ethic that an athlete does at the highest level of the game. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And apply that to stand-up comedy. | ||
| I bet they'll get further than a lot of us. | ||
| He's only 30. Ah! | ||
| Only 30. Maybe. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Blake Griffin's going to murder in front of you one night. | ||
| Nah, it's a weird muscle. | ||
| Stand-up's a weird muscle. | ||
| Joey Diaz isn't exactly... | ||
| Joey Diaz is high by noon, but he's funny as fuck. | ||
| He's high way before noon. | ||
| Yeah, comedy's a weird thing. | ||
| Comedy is a very... | ||
| There are some fuck-ups that kill you. | ||
| Joey Diaz might get high all the time. | ||
| That motherfucker works on his act. | ||
| Joey works on his act. | ||
| It's a mindset. | ||
| You're always writing. | ||
| Joey Diaz is a pro. | ||
| People see Joey and they see that he smokes a lot of weed and he's crazy and they assume that he just gets up there and just rants and raves. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| That guy always has new material. | ||
|
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|
Always. | |
| Always working. | ||
| Always working on something. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, he's... | ||
| I think that's what it takes, too. | ||
| I think that this kid was younger, and he told me he hadn't written a joke in two years. | ||
| And I went, well, you're talking like a loser. | ||
| You know, you can't... | ||
| I think stand-up is relentless, especially if you develop a following. | ||
| Yeah, but if that's where he's at, he's probably depressed. | ||
| There's something probably wrong with him. | ||
| Well, we talked about that, too. | ||
| Is there? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| But I'm saying that, you know, again, you know, depression is a very real thing. | ||
| But I always say to kind of younger people who seem like they're in a rut, that's why I'm a huge believer in just take the steps of getting better at one type of language. | ||
| Start. | ||
| It doesn't matter if it's the guitar. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| Just get better at one little thing. | ||
| Just start practicing. | ||
| It'll motivate you to do other things. | ||
| I'm not saying depression. | ||
| Clinical depression is a very real thing. | ||
| I don't know enough about it. | ||
| Well, the thing is, it is real, but it's different with every person. | ||
| It's one of the rarest of diseases in that you really can't put it on a scale. | ||
| It's a spectrum. | ||
| You feel like shit or you don't feel like shit. | ||
| You're depressed or you're not depressed. | ||
| But what level depressed are you? | ||
| Are you suicidal? | ||
| Are you just kind of shitty? | ||
| Could you fix it with running? | ||
| Or do you need real chemical intervention? | ||
| Do you know the difference? | ||
| What's your community like? | ||
| What are your friendships like? | ||
| What is your family like? | ||
| Huge questions. | ||
| Huge questions. | ||
| And by the way, how are you eating? | ||
| How are you exercising? | ||
| What is your community like? | ||
| These are things in people who live the longest in those societies. | ||
| What is it, Spain? | ||
| I heard, and I don't know if I'm right, has the longest per capita lived people right now, and yet huge alcohol and tobacco consumption. | ||
| But they are connected to community. | ||
| They're connected. | ||
| And they do a lot of that. | ||
| They're getting it in, bro. | ||
| Taking siestas, long lunches. | ||
|
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|
Banging. | |
| Yes. | ||
| Banging it out. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And drinking red wine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Enjoying their lunch. | ||
| And dancing salsa. | ||
| Dancing salsa. | ||
| I bet that helps, too. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Spain to lead Japan in global life expectancy. | ||
| See, there you go. | ||
| U.S. continues to slide. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There you go. | |
| Yeah, because we're eating shitty food and we're getting fat. | ||
| We're also isolated. | ||
| There's a price you pay for, as a capitalist, as somebody who believes in the free market, there's a price you pay for praying to the god of consumption and progress. | ||
| There is. | ||
| We're ruthlessly competitive Americans. | ||
| Americans are fucking ruthlessly competitive and insanely aggressive. | ||
| Football is a game of war. | ||
| It's simulated war. | ||
| You're capturing territory and everything else. | ||
| We are so aggressive that way. | ||
| And look, it makes us a great country. | ||
| We also pay a price for it. | ||
| No question about it. | ||
| Like I get, I do get sort of the notion that we need, there is this idea that where the left, a lot of the left says, look, man, this, this capitalism stuff that seems to be creating isolation and depression, like how is it going? | ||
| Is there a conversation to be had about how we figure out, how we structure our lives where our community takes more of a precedence, where job security takes more of a precedence, all these things. | ||
| The minute I start hearing socialism, I start to freak out, but I'm just saying. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| But here's the thing about socialism. | ||
| Socialism in general sounds like a terrible idea because a lot of people are lazy and because it de-incentivizes people from action and there's a certain thing that people should have motivation to succeed. | ||
| They should have some drive and they get some satisfaction out of achieving goals and those are all things that I would not want to deny any young person from. | ||
| I think those are really important things for happiness and one of the things that they've studied when they've studied happiness in people People that are goal-oriented and they set goals and achieve those goals, it's one of the best markers for happiness. | ||
| And it doesn't necessarily mean money. | ||
| The problem is we like to think of it as money. | ||
| It's a money thing. | ||
| But in athletics, in art, without finance attached to it at all, when people set out to do something and then do it, they achieve a sense of self-worth and happiness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And understanding. | ||
| And understanding of yourself, of who you are. | ||
| This is what's missing from a lot of people. | ||
| And again, I'm not a clinical psychologist. | ||
| I don't really understand depression. | ||
| I don't suffer from it. | ||
| But I've known enough people that have to know that there's a lot of different kinds of it. | ||
| It's all different. | ||
| And I think some people just have a broken brain. | ||
| There's something wrong in there, and it would be nice if there was a chemical that could fit into that slot and fix it. | ||
| And sometimes there is for those people. | ||
| And sometimes it changes their lives. | ||
| And then I've known people that were on the wrong medical, like Ari was on Propecian and was fucking with him. | ||
| It gave him depression. | ||
| And sometimes people, they'll change their diet. | ||
| And one of the things that Rhonda Patrick was, she posted something, I think it was on her Twitter account, how inflammation led to impulsive decision-making, led to cheating on your diet, led to poor decisions in terms of overall lifestyle, just from having higher levels of inflammation. | ||
| So eating shitty food, not getting enough sleep, drinking, all those things lead Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Yeah, I pull back with all this stuff and I always think to myself, like, I think what you and I are after, like, the reason I'm happy and the reason I feel so fulfilled is I'm able to express myself fully. | ||
| Like, fully. | ||
| Like, I told you the other day, like, certain developments in my life, like, I was like, I... I want radical honesty in the sense that I don't have to lie about anything. | ||
| I don't want to lie about anything. | ||
| I want to be very honest. | ||
| You and I have always been so honest with each other, right? | ||
| Well, that's why we know each other so well. | ||
| Yes, and the minute we start fucking bullshitting, you're like, oh, what? | ||
| But that's why you have your friends that hold you accountable because they know exactly who you are and it's very important. | ||
| So what that allows you to do is to express yourself fully and And completely. | ||
| Original self-expression is my whole, my credo, my idea. | ||
| But so, if eating well, if eating well, see, I don't want my body to get in the way. | ||
| I don't want it to get in the way. | ||
| So I investigate how to feel optimal so that I can just not have it get in the way and I can do the things I love. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a form of expressing myself fully. | ||
| I always wanted a box. | ||
| It was such a mystery to me. | ||
| And I'm nervous today because I've got to go spar some fucking guy. | ||
| How long have you been doing it now? | ||
| How many years? | ||
| Almost five years now. | ||
| But I don't care about... | ||
| I'm not going to enter... | ||
| Wayne wants me to fight. | ||
| He wants you to fight? | ||
| Yeah, but I'm not going to do that. | ||
| I don't want to be an actor who takes a fight. | ||
| It's hilarious to me. | ||
| Why is Wayne doing that to you? | ||
| Because he's a fighter and he's a maniac. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Man, you've got to get in there and lace up the gloves at least one time. | |
| You could fight. | ||
| You can fight. | ||
| You can fight. | ||
| Come on, throw the old left, right, left. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then I put on headgear and he just puts in a mouthpiece and he gives me a beating. | ||
| He just starts popping you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He puts his gloves wherever he wants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Which is annoying. | ||
| But my point is that I feel like I'm expressing myself in that vein. | ||
| I always wanted to do it. | ||
| How are your shoulders? | ||
| They're like ripe pomegranates. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You're okay? | ||
| I have a beautiful body. | ||
| It doesn't bother you at all? | ||
| Boxing doesn't injure you. | ||
| It's jiu-jitsu and crossfit. | ||
| That shit'll... | ||
| If you're not careful... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm old now. | ||
| I warm up. | ||
| Boxing can definitely still injure you. | ||
| Do you warm up with bands? | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| You know what I do? | ||
| I have my whole dynamic stretching routine I do in the morning. | ||
| When I walk in the gym, I lace them up and I just start moving very slowly. | ||
| I warm my body up. | ||
| I start hitting the mitts really lightly and as I go, I hit more and more. | ||
| I'm a meathead. | ||
| I see those mitts and I want to smash. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| That's what happens. | ||
| Then your back is all bunched up. | ||
| People have to tell me. | ||
| They have to tell me. | ||
| Don't. | ||
| Start slow. | ||
| Start slow. | ||
| It's warm up. | ||
| Warm up. | ||
| You gonna sneeze? | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| You okay? | ||
| Yeah, all that cocaine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| You doing coke now? | ||
| Yeah, but just a little, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Just a little. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just to take the edge off. | |
| I heard it's good for you if you do a little. | ||
| If you take the edge off. | ||
| Nobody did. | ||
| And nobody ever did a bunch of cocaine and shit got better. | ||
| Well, I wonder if people chewed a bunch of coca leaves and shit got better. | ||
| Microdosing coke? | ||
| I haven't heard anybody try that. | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| The problem is you crash. | ||
| You do blow and you want to start a business with your friend. | ||
| All these fucking plants. | ||
| You microdose psilocybin because there's no real crash. | ||
| I mean, there's a weird feeling after a mushroom trip, but there's no devastating crash that I hear people report after cocaine. | ||
| Cocaine, apparently, on the comedown, you're just wrecked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's one of the... | ||
| The rollercoaster ride, like a lot of people, they do the cocaine, and then they have the crash, the dopamine level smash, and then they only feel good if they're doing cocaine again, because their body's so fucked up. | ||
| That's why you lose your house, like in three years. | ||
| A buddy of mine had that, and our other friend worked in a rehab center and was trying to explain it to us, what was wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's no joke. | ||
| It was sad. | ||
| Sad shit. | ||
| I had somebody describe, he emailed me and he described what we were talking about. | ||
| My friend, Michael McDonald's best friend committed suicide. | ||
| And he was on the podcast talking about it and he got emotional. | ||
| It was heavy shit. | ||
| And somebody I know who comes to my shows emailed me and I guess he suffers from serious depression. | ||
| And you know he described the So we always say, well, how could they commit suicide? | ||
| They had children. | ||
| I mean, what happened? | ||
| It makes no sense. | ||
| He said, for me, it's like being in a sauna. | ||
| And you know how you get too hot? | ||
| You get so hot you have to get the fuck out because you're too hot. | ||
| And he said, only there's nowhere to go. | ||
| You don't have an exit. | ||
| You know, I was in the sauna yesterday and I've been in the sauna lately at higher temperatures because Gabrielle Reese She was on the podcast and she was saying her husband, you know, Laird Hamilton, that badass surfer dude, he cranks his sauna up to 225 degrees. | ||
| And when people like, he's like, who's been fucking up my sauna? | ||
| Like it's lower than 225. I'm like, Jesus Christ, she's telling me this. | ||
| I'm like, 225? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Such a badass. | ||
| So, I put this on up to 200 yesterday, and I was thinking, now, while I'm lying there, I'm like, what if this was the world forever? | ||
| Like, it was 200 degrees from now on forever. | ||
| The world's 200 degrees. | ||
| Like, how happy would you be with your children? | ||
| Could you still laugh? | ||
| I was thinking, like, I can withstand that. | ||
| I withstand it for 20 minutes. | ||
| That's what I do, right? | ||
| But what would I do if that was, like, that feeling of hot, if it didn't kill you, That feeling of 200 degrees out, would you be willing to live through that? | ||
| Like, how much would it sadden your life? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How much would it weigh on you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| What I'm trying to say is, move out of Phoenix, Arizona, folks. | ||
| That's so oppressively hot. | ||
| It's not worth it in the summer. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Get yourself a Colorado mountain home in the summer. | ||
| I was just up in Boulder. | ||
| Boulder needs to be a little more aggressive. | ||
| I was just in Boulder. | ||
| I see a grown man in the middle of the day with a beard balancing on a handrail. | ||
| I'm like, you're an able-bodied man and it's Friday at fucking 2. Go to work right now. | ||
| There's another dude just sitting cross-legged with a small little flute. | ||
| You know the flute you played in elementary school? | ||
| Just so unaggressive. | ||
| Boulder's paradise, though. | ||
| Ah, whatever. | ||
| They had a sale on clogs. | ||
| So there's a few hippies, bro. | ||
| It just makes me aggressive. | ||
| But what percentage of those people are there? | ||
| If there's 100,000 people, is there 10 that are annoying? | ||
| I'm judging the whole place, okay. | ||
| Is there 10 people that are playing the flute? | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| There's nothing about wealthy white people that put caffeine and comfortable footwear at the top of their essentials. | ||
| Yeah, comfortable footwear. | ||
| What's wrong with you? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| You want your feet to hurt? | ||
| Yeah, put a leather sole on your fucking foot and go to work. | ||
| A leather sole. | ||
| And have your toes pinched. | ||
| A hard wooden heel as well. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| And have your toes pinch a little bit, you fuck. | ||
|
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|
A little bit. | |
| And wear some wool. | ||
| What's that called when you get bunions? | ||
| Get one of them things? | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Go manufacture shit. | ||
| Drink your black coffee. | ||
| But don't you think it's nice to have a community like that where they're just all about yoga and Sat Nam? | ||
| Sure, I guess. | ||
| It's comfortable until the zombie apocalypse hits and then I'm not fucking relying on them. | ||
|
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|
You don't want to live. | |
| You don't want to live through the zombie apocalypse. | ||
| Why? | ||
| You don't. | ||
| Boulder is impossibly relaxing. | ||
| When I watch The Walking Dead, which I don't anymore, but when I used to watch it all the time before they just annoyed me to the point where I couldn't take it anymore, I was always like, I don't want to do this. | ||
| Why would you want to do this? | ||
| Survival. | ||
| I mean, people commit suicide now. | ||
| Guys like... | ||
| That are doing well. | ||
| Their life is great. | ||
| And they have loved ones. | ||
| And they commit suicide. | ||
| You're telling me that people are just going to live through this nonsense? | ||
| Jamie, bring up Dresden before and after the war. | ||
| Take a look at that. | ||
| They say the middle of Dresden was as hot as the sun. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Speaking of 200 degrees. | ||
| Because of when the Allies bombed it. | ||
| But just take a look at what it looked like before and after. | ||
| We're so lucky we don't have to tolerate that kind of shit right now. | ||
| I remember who was the guy who wrote, oh God, Where the Monsters Are or Where the... | ||
| I wrote a children's book. | ||
| Was it called Where the Monsters Are? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| And he was in the war and he said, do you believe in God? | ||
| And he just casually said, no, no, the war took care of that for me. | ||
| I never forgot it. | ||
| I was like, fuck. | ||
| He just died five years ago. | ||
| I had Eddie Izzard on yesterday and we were talking about wars of aggression. | ||
| Most likely we've seen the end of wars of aggression. | ||
| People trying to conquer new territory. | ||
| World War II was probably the last one of those. | ||
| Look at that, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's insane. | |
| So that was Dresden. | ||
| Dresden looked like the surface of the moon. | ||
|
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|
Jesus Christ. | |
| When they were really done with it. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| That lady got barbecued. | ||
| That's horrific. | ||
| Those are all bodies, man. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Stop scrolling. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Yeah, that's what war did. | ||
| That's what World War II. It was the true destruction of old Europe. | ||
| Imagine what it would look like, too, to watch those bombs hit. | ||
| And just level everything like that? | ||
| Well, it was carpet bombing. | ||
| So civilians, you know, the objective was actually to kill the German worker, to really bring that country to its knees. | ||
| It was back when total devastation of the enemy was essentially a tactic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a horrible, horrible thing. | |
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| These images are so stunning. | ||
| Okay, this is afterwards. | ||
| Yet human beings rebuild, yet they prevail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And, you know, a few decades later. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| But what we were talking about yesterday was that we most likely have seen the end of these wars of conquest where people are trying to take over new territories. | ||
|
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|
Right. | |
| This territory is no longer a commodity. | ||
| Now it's services, it's ideas, it's technologies, it's Land in that sense. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean the concept was that we're moving in a better direction and that things are becoming less and less at least overtly aggressive. | ||
| More people are able to see what's really going on, too. | ||
| Yeah, and more people can communicate. | ||
| I mean, this is really the only generation ever, like these last two or three generations, where you're able to easily translate anything that anyone's saying in any other country. | ||
| Like, how often do you go, like, I'll read, like, Khabib Nurmagomedov's Instagram page, and it's in Russian, you know, and I'll translate it, and so I can read what he's saying. | ||
| And I do that with a lot of his other fighters, too. | ||
| I just hit the translate button. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| How dope is that? | ||
| It brings you closer to them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, dude, you get to know them. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And you see that they're pretty fucking similar, even though they're different. | ||
| They're into family and their worship and their food and their community. | ||
| They laugh. | ||
| They laugh. | ||
| Humorous insults with each other. | ||
| If you live there, you'd be in that style of living, too. | ||
| And it's a hard place to live, so you've got to be a tough motherfucker. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| But there's something predictable, too, about how to live. | ||
| There's certain norms and practices. | ||
| Do you think that with Russia being run by Putin, that seems to me to be the last big country that might invade somebody? | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| Like, Russia being run by Putin. | ||
| You could almost see him pulling a Crimea somewhere else in the world. | ||
| You could almost see him... | ||
| I think Russia, and I think the history of Russia, I have not been there. | ||
| I was there when I was very young. | ||
| But I've not been there since. | ||
| And I have people who have gone there, and they actually really enjoy it. | ||
| And it's, you know, just great people. | ||
| Like, great people. | ||
| The Russian people who suffered maybe more than anybody in the 20th century. | ||
|
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|
But... | |
| Great people and industrious and everything else, but I do think that... | ||
| They're run by a gangster. | ||
| Well, but it's not just that they're run by a gangster, yes, but I think that sometimes the way a populist thinks about certain things can inform their destiny, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So think about this. | ||
| If you were always invaded, and you had a flat topography, and tanks could roll in, German tanks, whatever it is, and you paid such a price for that. | ||
| Again, I told you, when I went there in 1985, you didn't see any old men. | ||
| They were all killed. | ||
| But aggression, male aggression, was what kept those Nazis at bay when they surrounded Leningrad, now St. Petersburg, and stuff like that. | ||
| There's a lot of stories in it. | ||
| And I think that when you've been traumatized to the extent that Rush has been traumatized, certain strengths, the ability to stand up against aggression and to be brave and powerful, that becomes the commodity. | ||
| That's the guy that gets all the money, all the women, all the whatever. | ||
| And I think that's a product of their history. | ||
| So Putin is an admired man. | ||
| I bet you if Putin had very fair elections, he would get elected into power. | ||
| He's respected. | ||
| Are you trying to say he doesn't have fair elections? | ||
| Yeah, well. | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| My larger point is this. | ||
| Are you on record? | ||
| I'm not saying that, sir. | ||
| I don't know anything about Russian elections, but I will say this. | ||
| I don't know why you're putting words in my mouth. | ||
| Why are those guys in the door? | ||
| What the hell's going on? | ||
| He would get elected anyway. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Just because people love him. | ||
| What if he allowed open criticism of him? | ||
| Well, there is open criticism, believe it or not. | ||
| Sure, the guys would get shot. | ||
| They were openly criticizing him and they get shot. | ||
| There is a press that actually is critical. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| But you know they've killed journalists. | ||
| Yes, it's not a threat to his power. | ||
| Well, how many journalists have been murdered? | ||
| I don't know, but enough. | ||
| Poisoned and all kinds of weird shit. | ||
| Google, journalist critical of Putin murdered. | ||
| Also, his supporters will beat the shit out of you. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| So, what I'm saying is that I think Russia's... | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| I think Russia needs to embrace the softer strengths. | ||
| Are you a foreign policy advisor now? | ||
| Yes, I am. | ||
| No, this is a philosophy I have. | ||
| This is my philosophy. | ||
| Ready? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So my philosophy is this. | ||
| This country is a great country and our culture is an interesting culture. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because not only are we representative of hard strengths, the military, the NFL, the fucking UFC, all that shit. | ||
| The what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eagles. | |
| And Eagles. | ||
| Fucking bald eagle, bro. | ||
| You're right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right. | |
| It's a classic. | ||
| Canada's fucking national anthem is the beaver. | ||
| Well, Russia's a bear. | ||
| Okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| But so Americans, again, are very aggressive. | ||
| But you know what America's secret is? | ||
| We've also provided safe quarter to our gentler spirits. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Violent deaths of journalists started in the Yeltsin era. | ||
| Okay, so they've just been doing that forever. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So there's just like, presidents just do that in Russia. | ||
| Always have. | ||
| Murder, Crossfire, Terrorist Act. | ||
| In 2008, there were six of those. | ||
| Murder Only, there was another six. | ||
| Listen. | ||
| Two of them were brought to trial. | ||
| Look at me right now. | ||
| Putin is Gandhi. | ||
| Putin is Gandhi compared to Khrushchev. | ||
| Gandhi compared to Stalin. | ||
| Gandhi compared to Lenin. | ||
| Gandhi compared to anybody who was in power before him. | ||
| Those guys used to kill wholesale Khrushchev. | ||
| I mean, and that's a fact. | ||
| Up to their elbows and blood. | ||
| Who was that guy that got murdered recently that was running? | ||
| It was a political opponent. | ||
| They shot that dude down. | ||
| When his death was not related to the journalist's work, the conviction rate exceeds 90%. | ||
| What? | ||
| They put him in jail, too. | ||
| If they don't just kill him. | ||
| What is that quote, though? | ||
| When the death was not related to the journalist's work, so you're talking about rates of conviction. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| That was a weird quote. | ||
| Oh, rates of conviction are very high. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| So the guy with the biggest gun in that society holds all the power. | ||
| They do that in this country, too, though. | ||
| Espionage, those kind of trials. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You're going straight to the pokey, son. | ||
| Do not pass. | ||
| Go. | ||
| Good luck with your trial. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| The judge is like, yeah, I listened to you. | ||
| 20 years. | ||
| Fuck off. | ||
| But an aggressive part of the world, the United States, like Russia, however... | ||
| We're smarter. | ||
| No. | ||
| We're better looking. | ||
| No. | ||
| We're funnier. | ||
| We protect our... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, hey, hey. | |
| Funnier. | ||
| Why are we funnier? | ||
| Because we're better. | ||
| That's too general, sir. | ||
| Because we have LeBron James at the Comedy Store on Saturday night. | ||
| Sir, you're being too general. | ||
| Sir, you're being too general. | ||
| This is a quiz. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because we're free. | ||
| Because we have protections for the people on the fringes, our creatives, our weirdos, our fashionistas, all the people that make our culture interesting. | ||
| Stephen Jobs, he wasn't good at CrossFit. | ||
| No, he's good at yelling at employees. | ||
| Yeah, either was Mohandas K. Gandhi and Martin Luther King, but at least there was due recourse. | ||
| At least we know that there are softer strengths that have to be protected. | ||
| It makes you more interesting, and it makes you more creative and stronger. | ||
| You gotta be innovative. | ||
| Your innovators are weirdos. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Like Leonardo da Vinci apparently was gay. | ||
| What? | ||
| Uh-huh, I said it. | ||
| Outrageous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| What? | ||
| There are a lot of very smart... | ||
| In Russia, if you're gay, it's not that safe for you. | ||
| Right, you get tossed off a building. | ||
| Yeah, so what you do is when you do that with people who are creative and you marginalize a group of people because they're different in the name of purity or whatever, you're fucked. | ||
| Didn't they make some really weird public statement about homosexuality, like the law in Russia? | ||
| Is homosexuality illegal in Russia? | ||
| Well, a lot of times they're equated with pedophiles. | ||
| The LGB community has real trouble there. | ||
| And it's hard to get apartments. | ||
| It's more subtle. | ||
| It's hard to just live and make a living. | ||
| So what happens is all those creative people who could be contributing and coming up with beautiful ideas, they're marginalized as perverts, deviants. | ||
| And that's the dumbest... | ||
| The meek don't get to inherit the earth. | ||
| The meek, a lot of times, are the people that provide you your fucking goodies. | ||
| Russian gay propaganda law. | ||
| For the purpose of protecting children from information advocating for a denial of traditional family values. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| The gay propaganda law and the anti-gay law, the bill that was unanimously approved by the state Duma on 11th of June, 2013. Holy shit, man. | ||
| So you want to protect children from exposure to, you know, home activity. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and it was signed into law by President Vladimir Putin on the 30th of June 2013. How long is he going to be president? | ||
| So let me ask you a better question. | ||
| So with those kind of laws, those kind of laws that marginalize anybody that's not normal, quote-unquote, that's not traditional, prototypical male-female, awesome. | ||
| When was the last time you bought, and I'll wait, when was the last time you bought one Russian product, please, besides the fact that they're essentially a one-crop economy, which is oil, and I guess some other commodities? | ||
| What happens is you kill all your creativity. | ||
| What happens is you are not a strong country. | ||
| Your weaponry isn't even good. | ||
| That's the irony of all this shit. | ||
| When you have that mindset and you have one idea of what strength is, you're going to be fucking weak and you're not going to be creative. | ||
| Is a Kalashnikov a good rifle? | ||
| It's a very good rifle. | ||
| It makes some good shit. | ||
| Designed in 1957, I believe. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| 2012, previously holding the position from 2000 to 2008. So he's been, right now, he's on seven years in office. | ||
| He's a zar, sir. | ||
| He's been longer than that. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean seven now, currently. | ||
| And then he did it eight years before. | ||
| Yeah, but he didn't even take four years off. | ||
| When he took four years off, he was like running shit from behind. | ||
| He's got to look like I'll kill you. | ||
| Like he's like, I will kill you. | ||
| Yeah, it's a black belt in judo, right? | ||
| Definitely kill you. | ||
| Yeah, legit black belt in judo. | ||
| Like he can actually throw people around. | ||
| Probably smart as fuck. | ||
| And in his mind... | ||
| You know, Putin is running a country that requires a strongman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's who they respect. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So he's caught in that, too. | ||
| Even if he agreed with what I'm saying. | ||
| Let's say you're the king of the world. | ||
| How do you fix Russia? | ||
| You present an idea, the idea I just presented, which is the idea that you might want to protect the people that you consider to be queers, deviants, and weirdos, nerds, or whatever they are, because those people a lot of times are your creatives. | ||
| I don't know why, but they are. | ||
| So do you think they lived in too much of a wartime culture for too long? | ||
| I do. | ||
| And that they developed this hardness to them that that's why they're lacking in the creativity and the innovation? | ||
| I don't think they can afford that. | ||
| And I think that a lot of times when you've been traumatized, you're dealing still with the residue and the trauma of World War I and World War II. And that's very real. | ||
| And also, by the way, communism and having nothing. | ||
| And, you know, they have strong communities. | ||
| I mean, my friend went to Russia and said everybody was nice to him. | ||
| Fucking, they're good people. | ||
| And they're innovative people and they're creative. | ||
| Look at how good they are at boxing. | ||
| Anything the Russians put their mind to, that they hold value for, like strengths, like MMA, like boxing, look at how good they are. | ||
| So they're incredibly industrious, disciplined, smart people. | ||
| Is it hard to get weed over there? | ||
| I'm sorry? | ||
| How do you get weed over there? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I bet you don't. | ||
| I bet if you have money, you get everything you want. | ||
| Right, if you got money. | ||
| Yeah, if you're connected to the oligarchy. | ||
| Do you think Putin's ever tried DMT? I think he's too measured for that. | ||
| Well, I think he would want to know, you know? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I bet he's done a lot of shit. | ||
| He does whatever he wants. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| He's bizarre. | ||
| How many chicks do you think he's got in a stable? | ||
| Well, I will tell you this. | ||
| I truly believe this. | ||
| I think that he can just sit there and he has women flock to him. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| They love him. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| The best looking woman in the world. | ||
| He doesn't have to do anything. | ||
| Right. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| That kind of power. | ||
| My wife was like, he's hot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I go, but he's a gangster. | ||
| She goes, who doesn't like a gangster? | ||
| And I was like, oh, geez, I had to walk away. | ||
| I was like. | ||
| Whoa, it's uncomfortable. | ||
| Steal your girl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You take a girl. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Steal your football ring. | ||
| You hear about that? | ||
| No. | ||
| The story about... | ||
| Fucking Sturgill told me about this. | ||
| He... | ||
| Who was the football player where Putin stole his ring? | ||
| Google that. | ||
| It's the owner of the Patriots. | ||
| Was it him? | ||
| It wasn't a player? | ||
| It was just the owner of the Patriots? | ||
| Is that the guy that... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kraft? | |
| That guy? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So he had this Super Bowl ring on. | ||
| He meets Putin. | ||
| Putin says, can I hold the ring? | ||
| And then he takes the ring off, puts it on, and he's like, hmm. | ||
| And he said something like, you could smash someone's face with this ring, and laughed, and then just walked off with the ring. | ||
| And they were like, hey, where's the ring? | ||
| He's like, no. | ||
| He just stole the ring. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| You know, Harvey Keitel, really? | ||
| He just took his ring. | ||
| What? | ||
| My ring, no. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| This, my ring, I take. | ||
| So he just decided he wanted it and took it off the guy's hand and was laughing and walked off with it. | ||
| As the story goes, Kraft handed the diamond-studded ring to Putin as a bit of show-and-tell. | ||
| I could kill someone this ring, Putin reportedly said, as he fit it to his finger. | ||
| Then when Kraft held his hand to get it back, Putin, surrounded by KGB agents, wordlessly slipped the ring into his pocket. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| There you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I want to love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| I take this. | ||
| This marino. | ||
| I do have an admiration. | ||
| I just think... | ||
| Do you think he's ever killed anybody with a ring? | ||
| I bet he has. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| He was a KGB guy for a long time. | ||
| I bet he's beaten people to death. | ||
| George W. Bush administration had pressured him at the time to let go of the ring to avoid an international incident. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| In 2013, Kraft reneged and offered some backstory about the incident, alleging that the Bush administration had pressured him at the time to let go of the ring. | ||
| It would really be in the best interest of U.S.-Soviet relations if you meant to give the ring as a present, Kraft recalls the White House saying. | ||
| I really didn't want to. | ||
| I had an emotional tie to the ring. | ||
| It has my name on it, Kraft said. | ||
| I didn't want to see it on eBay. | ||
| But maybe Putin mistook. | ||
| You know, there's a language barrier, so he probably misunderstood. | ||
| Listen to what he's saying. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| What are you, Russian propaganda agent? | ||
| There was a pause at the other end of the line, and the White House voice repeated, It would really be in the best interest if you meant to give the ring as a present. | ||
| Are you calling Putin a thief, bro? | ||
| No, I'm saying he took that ring. | ||
| He took that ring. | ||
| He punked that dude and took his ring. | ||
| That's not a thief. | ||
| He's a gangster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's out there punking rings. | ||
| Harvey Keitel. | ||
| He had 124 diamonds. | ||
| The great Harvey Keitel told me a story. | ||
| I think it was him. | ||
| And he said, you know, remember Nikita? | ||
| No, what's that fucking movie? | ||
| La Femme Nikita? | ||
| La Femme Nikita. | ||
| Remember the actress in the TV show? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I met her once. | ||
| She was friends with my friend Candy Alexander. | ||
| So she went to Russia with her boyfriend. | ||
| Putin liked her. | ||
| He used to watch the show all the time. | ||
| I heard this from, I think it was Harvey Keitel. | ||
| He kept that dude out into another room and had her out on the balcony talking to her the whole time. | ||
| And basically, the guy couldn't get back in. | ||
| It was very clear that Putin was making a play for La Femme Nikita. | ||
| And it's like, you're in my town now. | ||
| You go over there. | ||
| Take a seat. | ||
| I know you came here. | ||
| Take a seat. | ||
| I'm going to take what's mine. | ||
| And apparently she was gone. | ||
| I don't think she did anything, obviously, but, you know. | ||
| Let's pretend she did. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| And he dug her. | ||
| Where's Jack Nichols? | ||
| Boyfriend ain't around, bro. | ||
| Boyfriend's not around. | ||
| He's not there. | ||
| Where's the boyfriend, bro? | ||
| He's not allowed to be at the table. | ||
| He's like, yes, you have legs for days. | ||
| He was apparently locked out. | ||
| He was trying to get in the room, and they're like, sorry, we didn't know. | ||
| Well... | ||
| It's kind of interesting when you see a guy running a country like that in 2019, that he can run the country in that gangster fashion. | ||
| It's more interesting that he got people to... | ||
| Oh, Sean Penn? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's more interesting to me that he's gotten himself in a position where people would actually vote for him. | ||
| So technically he's been democratically elected. | ||
| Yeah, I bet at a certain point in time, they don't know who the fuck should be running things over there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Brian Callen, I've got to end this. | ||
| I've got to end early today. | ||
| My friend, always great to talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Always a good time. | |
| Come see me in Miami. | ||
| May 9, 10, 11. Orlando, did you... | ||
| Did you talk about my dates? | ||
| Yes, you're in Miami Improv. | ||
| May 7th, 8th, and 9th, correct? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| 10, 11, and 12? | ||
| 9, 10, 11. God damn it. | ||
| 9, 10, 11? | ||
| Yeah, now you ruined everything. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They're listening still. | ||
|
unidentified
|
May 9, 10, 11. Orlando. | |
| May 17, 18. Oh, I got some dates, too, that I just started selling. | ||
| They just went on sale. | ||
| I am going to be in... | ||
| Where the fuck am I? August 10th. | ||
| I'm in San Francisco. | ||
| I'm in Mountain View. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Mountain View at the Shoreline Amphitheater on August 10th. | ||
| August 9th, I'm in Portland, Oregon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Portland! | ||
| And then on the 23rd, I'm in Denver, Colorado for two shows at the Belco Theater, Sunday. | ||
| At the Belco. | ||
| Alright, kids. | ||
| I love that place. | ||
| JoeRogan.com for all my tickets. | ||
| Keep your arms heavy and your belly tight. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It just sounds like an awesome thing. | ||
| Arms heavy? | ||
| I want my arms to be light. | ||
| It's from a Billy Joel song. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I can't remember what the song is. | ||
| Is it Piano Man? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is it Uptown Girl? | ||
| No. | ||
| Brian, you're a silly goose and I love you. | ||
| I'll see you later. | ||
| BrianCallen.com, B-R-Y. T-F-A-T-K for tickets or BrianCallen.com. |
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