Dec. 4, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:16:59
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Interesting how promotions work. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| Four, three, two, one. | ||
| So, Tom Pop and I are sitting here, and I say, did you see the fight on Saturday night? | ||
| And he said, the guy that got knocked down? | ||
| Mental health guy? | ||
| The mental health guy? | ||
| The guy who got up for everyone with mental health? | ||
| But he said, no, I didn't see the fight. | ||
| I only saw that. | ||
| This is how narratives work. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| In this day and age especially, there's way too much information out there, right? | ||
| There's no way you could see every television show or watch every sporting event or know every scandal. | ||
| So when something happens, it's like, the blurb, the little summary that I have... | ||
| Absorbed. | ||
| My one buddy watched it on Instagram. | ||
| He posted a thing, and it was very heartfelt that he got up for all the people with mental health. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I read that, and I feel like I experienced the whole thing. | ||
| But, you know, it's funny. | ||
| I don't know if he won or lost. | ||
| I know he got up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a draw. | |
| It was a draw. | ||
| Yeah, it was a draw. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| And I don't have a firm opinion on whether or not the... | ||
| The draw was justified, because I only watched it once. | ||
| I thought that Tyson Fury won most of the rounds, except the two that he got knocked down in. | ||
| Tyson's the anti-mental health guy. | ||
| No, he's the white guy. | ||
| Oh, he's the white guy. | ||
| He's the white guy that got knocked down. | ||
| And Deontay Wilder, he's strange. | ||
| In that he has the most freaky punching power I think I've ever seen, ever. | ||
| That's what I heard, too. | ||
| He's not a big guy. | ||
| I mean, for a heavyweight, he's 212 pounds. | ||
| He looks pretty big, though. | ||
| Oh, he's jacked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's shredded. | ||
| He has no fat on him whatsoever. | ||
| His back is where all the power is. | ||
| And that's where his muscle is. | ||
| You see his back. | ||
| It's just a bundle of snakes. | ||
| His back is huge. | ||
| When I saw the clip, he knocked him out and then backed up and did a little dance. | ||
| Yeah, and Tyson got up. | ||
| Yeah, that guy looked pretty badass. | ||
| But fuck that guy Wilder punches so hard. | ||
| And that was in the 12th and final round. | ||
| Oh, that was? | ||
| Of a fight where he was mostly losing. | ||
| He was mostly getting boxed up. | ||
| He was mostly getting outboxed. | ||
| But then he would land, and he landed real hard in like, what was it, like the 8th or the 9th? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| He dropped him. | ||
| But that wasn't a big knockdown. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He knocked him down, but he got up pretty quick and he was okay. | ||
| But in the 12th, he fucking blasted him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He hit him with a right hand and then as he was falling, he hit him with a left hook on the chin as he was going down. | ||
| And he laid flat on his back with his arms down. | ||
| He looked unconscious. | ||
| Yeah, he really did. | ||
| And then he rose like Lazarus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| And he looked pretty sharp when he got on his feet. | ||
| He won the rest of the round. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He won the rest of the round and stung him. | ||
| He stung Deontay Wilder. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Because of the mental health kids. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He was doing it for the mental health people. | ||
| You think that's really what he was thinking when you're getting up off the canvas? | ||
| I'm doing it for the kids. | ||
| I would never doubt him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he's a very unusual guy. | ||
| And he donated his entire purse to charity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| All of it. | ||
| Like $8 million. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he donated all of it to charity. | ||
| Holy cow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| He's a fucking really unusual guy. | ||
| He's been in here. | ||
| He was in the podcast when he was gearing up for the fight. | ||
| So I should call him the super nice mental health guy. | ||
| He's a very nice guy. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| Is he big? | ||
| Giant. | ||
| 6'9". | ||
|
unidentified
|
6'9". | |
| So when you're sitting here, you feel like he's a giant. | ||
| But he's a super sweetheart. | ||
| Very friendly guy. | ||
|
unidentified
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Geez. | |
| Yeah, really well-spoken. | ||
| You know, he's got that heavy traveler's accent. | ||
| He's a traveler. | ||
| Had he made money before? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He's a world champion. | ||
| So he's like... | ||
| He was a world champion. | ||
| He's got bank. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| And almost killed himself in a Ferrari. | ||
| Almost committed suicide. | ||
| He was just headed towards a bridge. | ||
| He was just gonna fucking either slam into the bridge or drive off the bridge. | ||
| That was his mental health issue. | ||
| Yeah, he was going 160 miles an hour, like, headed towards the bridge and changed his mind. | ||
| Jeez Louise. | ||
| That's what he looked like before he started his comeback. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, he was 300 pounds. | ||
| What? | ||
| 300 plus, right? | ||
| How much did he say he was? | ||
| I want to say 485, but... | ||
| Yeah, something crazy. | ||
| Because I'm just saying 300, but that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| This is 180 kilograms, so 180 times 2.2 is... | ||
| That's like... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Close to 400 pounds, I think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| He's... | ||
| So he was champ, then he fell off and became that chubby? | ||
| Well, what happened was he beat Vladimir Klitschko, who was a long-time heavyweight champion. | ||
| I mean, Vladimir Klitschko was the champ forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And he outboxed him, like soundly outboxed him and beat him and then was like, now what? | ||
| And went into a depression and started drinking hard, partying hard, a lot of cocaine and just fucked his life up. | ||
| Because he achieved what he wanted to achieve. | ||
| I mean, he's calling it mental health, you know, because of depression and all those things. | ||
| But part of me wants to say that a lot of that is... | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| Obviously, I've never been inside of his head. | ||
| But when you're doing that much coke and drinking that much, that has got to be a major factor in why you feel like shit. | ||
| And then the letdown of this incredible achievement, becoming the heavyweight champion of the world, beating this guy who hadn't been beat in a long time, many, many, many years. | ||
| And then, you know, just partying too hard and then getting into a horrible funk and then deciding to come back. | ||
| There's always that part of it where, you know, you know that you have that, there are those personalities and there's genetics involved and he gets you into the drugs. | ||
| But then the drugs start going to work on your brain and then, you know, it becomes something different. | ||
| It's no longer your own consciousness that's working. | ||
| It's this sponge that just absorbed all of these toxins and who knows what's misfiring, what's happening at that point. | ||
| We say that as we drink wine. | ||
|
unidentified
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Cheers. | |
| Cheers. | ||
| Happy holidays. | ||
| Thank you for this. | ||
| We do a little heroin on the holidays. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little fucking method. | |
| I was going to bring you some wine today. | ||
| This was nice of you to open this. | ||
| This is good stuff. | ||
| Whatever this is. | ||
| I don't know jack shit about wine. | ||
| I learned a great method. | ||
| For Thanksgiving about wine. | ||
| I went to this place in LA. It's called 2020 Wine. | ||
| It's like this... | ||
| It looks like Raiders of the Lost Ark. | ||
| It's on the 405. And you just walk in. | ||
| It's just wine. | ||
| This huge room. | ||
| Racks and stuff. | ||
| It's so elegant. | ||
| It's just like this great place to be. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| It's like temperature-wise. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| And it's intimidating because they have... | ||
| You know, I don't know that much about wine. | ||
| I want to, but... | ||
| And I realized this was my strategy and it worked out perfectly. | ||
| I went to the guy who works there and I said, look, I have 12 people coming over for Thanksgiving. | ||
| Show me a $20 bottle of wine or less that I can buy a bunch of for my friends. | ||
| That's going to blow everyone away. | ||
| And he lit up like a Christmas tree. | ||
| It's like, this is what he wants to do. | ||
| It's like, yeah, there's 200 dollar bottles of wine. | ||
| We know what that is. | ||
| Come with me. | ||
| And there it is. | ||
| And he took me into the back and he found these, he's like, this one's from Spain. | ||
| $18. | ||
| No one knows it exists. | ||
| The best wine I've had all year. | ||
| Another one, this Italian Barolo that nobody knows about, and look at this, it's only $12 a bottle, because nobody knows we have extra cases. | ||
| It became like his, of course, that's what a wine guy wants to do, like turn you on. | ||
| Is the wine thing that a name is just as important as how good it is? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like when people, you know, an Opus One or a Caymus, we all know that, because it's like the Mercedes of wines. | ||
| Cigars are like that as well. | ||
| I know more about cigars. | ||
| I don't know much about cigars, but I know more about cigars than I know about wine. | ||
| And, like, everybody wants a Cuban. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| A Cohiba. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, Monte Cristo. | ||
| Everybody wants something that's hard to get. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I was like, oh, this is how you should do it. | ||
| Find a good wine shop and go to the guy who's waiting to be asked that question. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he's so excited to show you what he learned. | ||
| And he works in a wine shop, so he's not spending $500 for a bottle either. | ||
| He knows the good shit. | ||
| My buddy Mark Dellegrate and I were in Florida. | ||
| We were eating at this very nice Italian restaurant with a bunch of people from the UFC. And we just said, let's get a nice bottle of wine. | ||
| You ever have a nice bottle of wine? | ||
| I'm like, I've had good bottles of wine, but this place had bottles of wine from the 70s. | ||
| So I said, alright, let's go fucking crazy. | ||
| And I bought a bottle of wine from 1974. Oh my god. | ||
| This is better. | ||
| This is better. | ||
| This one's better. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| I guess if you're a real connoisseur, part of it is like, Roberto Duran was the champ when this was bottled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's stuff about it. | |
| I was in the third grade! | ||
| There's something about it. | ||
| This is from Mrs. McMillan. | ||
| But it felt like it had less alcohol. | ||
| And I think that's one of the things that maybe happens. | ||
| The flavor starts to morph and change. | ||
| It just felt less potent. | ||
| Almost more watered down. | ||
| It wasn't that good. | ||
| I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you probably paid a lot for it. | ||
| It was like $1,000. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not joking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it was a $1,000 bottle of wine. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| On Thanksgiving, it was $18 bottles of wine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's probably way better than that. | |
| And blowing our heads off. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably way better. | ||
| So great. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I try and learn about them. | ||
| And there are certain wines, they say, like there's certain Brunellos that like... | ||
| Those should age, and those you can go like 20 years, and they'll get even better at 30. And then there's other wines, at that same amount of time, they'll go sour and they'll get funky. | ||
| So it's so hard to tell. | ||
| There's apps. | ||
| There's an app that I have. | ||
| I've never fucking opened it once, but I downloaded it. | ||
| It's like Vino. | ||
| Vino. | ||
| Oh, you almost went down with that. | ||
| It's got a powerful lid. | ||
| Oh, it's got a powerful lid? | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Because that was headed towards the board. | ||
| James, he's not even drinking one. | ||
| I don't fuck with laptops in front of me anymore. | ||
| I've learned my lesson. | ||
| I was doing a show on Saturday. | ||
| My friend had a laptop. | ||
| She had a glass of water and a salad on the keyboard. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
| How confident are you? | ||
| It's like having a gun on your baby's head. | ||
| Like, sit the gun here. | ||
| Rest your head on the gun. | ||
| Separate it. | ||
| No, but this was such a great way to do it. | ||
| You can focus in on one kind of wine and really kind of learn it. | ||
| And that's a lot. | ||
| That would be a lot of studying. | ||
| To learn all of wine and go into a fancy restaurant and be like, I'm just going to pick from the mint. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can. | |
| Right, right. | ||
| I think it's one of those things where you really have to talk to someone who's put in the time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Here's something that I know a lot about. | ||
| Pool cues. | ||
| I know a lot about pool cues. | ||
| So if you come to me and you say, hey, I'm thinking about buying this pool cue, what do you think? | ||
| I'll go, okay. | ||
| Well, here's what you need to know. | ||
| That's a very expensive pool cue, and it's expensive because it's a collector's item because the guy who makes it is dead. | ||
| However, in terms of how it plays, it does not play any better than a pool cue that costs one small fraction of what that costs. | ||
| And I could turn you on to a bunch of... | ||
| Custom pool cue makers that make a really good cue for a fraction of what you would pay for that cue. | ||
| And I'm telling you, you would play with this cue and be happy with it for the rest of your life. | ||
| But it'll cost you $500 as opposed to... | ||
| There's cues that are $15,000, $20,000 and up. | ||
| They're really ornate and beautiful ones. | ||
| And this is a lifetime, your adult lifetime of learning about this. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You've been immersed. | ||
| I started playing pool in 1998. 90-ish, 91, 1991. That's when I probably bought my first pool cue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's a good pool cue for bumper pool? | |
| My neighbors had a bumper pool table when I was a kid. | ||
| It was badass. | ||
| It's pretty stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was so stupid. | |
| Such a dumb game. | ||
| My friend, the older brother Mark, he was the dominant one because he was able to jump over the bumpers and get on the other side. | ||
| It's called cheating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, cheating. | |
| Yeah, jumping is a very controversial thing in the world of pool. | ||
| You're not allowed to jump? | ||
| Well, there's jumping and then there's bar table jumping, right? | ||
| Like when you play with people on a bar, they think they're jumping the pool cue, but what they're doing is they're scooping under the cue ball with their tip. | ||
| Like they go under it and it sort of makes the cue ball pop up in the air. | ||
| It's really like miscueing is what it's like. | ||
| It's a foul. | ||
| The way you're supposed to jump a ball is shoot down on it and make it hop over. | ||
| Have you seen this before? | ||
| Yeah, that's a McDermott. | ||
| It's called the Excalibur or some shit like that. | ||
| That's a pool cue? | ||
| It is, but it isn't. | ||
| It's foolish. | ||
| It looks like a sickle that the Grim Reaper comes to take you away with. | ||
| Well, this was a queue that was made a long time ago. | ||
| It was made back in the fucking 90s or something. | ||
| But that's not the most expensive pool queue in the world. | ||
| Is that whole thing the queue? | ||
| It says it's sold for $150,000. | ||
| That's not the most expensive queue in the world, no. | ||
| No, the most expensive queue in the world is a Gina queue. | ||
| Gina queue is actually right here in North Hollywood. | ||
| They call it the most expensive queue in the world. | ||
| Is that whole thing the queue? | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| Or is that a stand and a queue? | ||
| It's a cue. | ||
| That whole, all the blades and everything like that. | ||
| What would you do with that? | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| I'm telling you, it's nonsense. | ||
| It's nonsense. | ||
| It's like having a car and you decide to glue diamonds on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fucking stupid. | |
| It's the most expensive car in the world. | ||
| It costs a billion dollars. | ||
| Shut the fuck up. | ||
| That cue weighs nine and a half pounds. | ||
| You know what a real cue weighs? | ||
| A very heavy cue, very heavy, is 21 ounces. | ||
| If you find out that a pro plays with a 21 ounce cue, you're like, wow. | ||
| Rarely a guy will play with a 24 ounce cue and you're like, wow, that guy's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That fucking thing is nine and a half pounds. | |
| That piece of shit. | ||
| That's like the women that get the gigantic hippity hops for boobs. | ||
| It's like everyone's getting big and then that one you're like, alright. | ||
| They get like triple Z boobs. | ||
| That's just not a real pool cue. | ||
| What's the one in North Hollywood? | ||
| Well, he makes... | ||
| His name is Ernie Gutierrez and he makes all sorts... | ||
| I have one of his cues. | ||
| That's Ernie right there. | ||
| He makes... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Wasn't he married to Cher? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's Sonny Bono. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You guys dead. | |
| You're an asshole. | ||
| I gotta end this podcast now. | ||
| Ernie is... | ||
| I mean, he's like a real innovator in the world of pool cues. | ||
| He makes beautiful, beautiful cues. | ||
| That is beautiful. | ||
| But he had one that he made that was filled with like... | ||
| I don't want to say what the material was, but I believe it had an ivory handle. | ||
| The handle was made out of solid ivory, and I think it had gold and all sorts of other shit in it. | ||
| But it went for a half a million dollars. | ||
| It's worth a half a million dollars, but I think the deal is that he won't sell it. | ||
| He's very wealthy. | ||
| He does really well. | ||
| All from that? | ||
| All from making pool cues? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah, yeah. | |
| His pool cues, like in Japan and all throughout Asia, they're really revered. | ||
| Like he can sell his stuff anywhere. | ||
| His cues are very expensive on the aftermarket too. | ||
| It makes them all by hand? | ||
| Like that kind of thing? | ||
| Well, he designs them all and then he uses computer controlled machines. | ||
| They're called CNC machines to put everything together and piece it so that everything's perfect. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, but they're all like his designs. | ||
| Is that like 3D printing? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| What it is, is like you have a design and you put it into this computer and you put the, I don't know 100% of the process, but you put the specifications like how wide you want inlays to be and they make them exactly the same size and the points fit exactly the same way. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it's all super complicated stuff. | ||
| But the point is like, if you were a guy who wanted to buy a pool cue, And you just, you know, went to a website. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're lost. | ||
| You're lost like me trying to buy wine. | ||
| In a wine shop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're like, I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is good wine, though. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| It's very good. | ||
| This is Chateau Vigneux. | ||
| Ooh, I didn't know you spoke French. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I do. | |
| Oui, oui. | ||
| You see Paris is going crazy right now? | ||
| They've been having these crazy riots? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, what's up? | ||
| Every time I think about visiting Paris, there's some new shit that goes down over there. | ||
| I know, it kind of feels like a little, like a jewel box that is about to explode all the time. | ||
| It's not good, man. | ||
| You know, it's not good. | ||
| Is it workers? | ||
| What kind of... | ||
| Well, the weird thing is everyone is rioting is wearing those reflective vests. | ||
| What? | ||
| Like, see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's Paris right now? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| They're wearing these yellow reflective vests and lighting things on fire and smashing stores. | ||
| Who is? | ||
| These Gucci and... | ||
| These protesters. | ||
| They've been going... | ||
| Scroll back up so we can read them. | ||
| Oh my god, that looks violent. | ||
| It says 17 pictures. | ||
| Oh, it's terrible. | ||
| And it keeps getting worse. | ||
| It keeps getting worse. | ||
| I mean, it started November 17th when French drivers sporting yellow vests led a demonstration. | ||
| Apparently it has to do with oil prices, rising fuel prices. | ||
| 280,000 people. | ||
| Four people have died. | ||
| Hundreds have been injured. | ||
| Thousands of dollars worth of property has been damaged. | ||
| The protest has started November 17th when French drivers sporting yellow vests led a demonstration of 280,000 people across the country to push back against the rising taxes on gas and diesel. | ||
| What? | ||
| French President Emmanuel Macron Macron. | ||
| I love a nice Macron. | ||
| As part of his many economic reforms, announced the gas taxes earlier this year to minimize France's reliance on fossil fuels. | ||
| That's a fucking shitty way to handle reliance on fossil fuels. | ||
| You do the opposite, you cunt face. | ||
| What? | ||
| You don't charge people money. | ||
| You don't charge people extra money and make it more expensive. | ||
| Then they'll use it less. | ||
| You give them subsidies for electric cars, you stupid prick. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Don't you understand the American way, you piece of shit? | ||
| Jesus, I love talking real authoritative about things I know nothing about. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Scroll back up there? | ||
| Scroll back to where it was? | ||
| The price of fuel, that's it. | ||
| 30 cents a gallon. | ||
| They went crazy. | ||
| 30 cents a gallon. | ||
| They're trying to kill people. | ||
| Gas already costs about $7 per gallon in France. | ||
| Fuck that, man. | ||
| So it's just going to break people's backs and they're not going to be able to drive you to their bread shop. | ||
| Do you remember when Bush was leaving office and they jacked the fucking price of gas way up? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| But there's people that were panicking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| September 11th, there was, like, lines everywhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, right. | |
| Because we thought it was going to just empty. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the price didn't... | ||
| I don't think the price radically went up. | ||
| Some places were charging, like, 25 bucks a gallon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Assholes. | |
| They should go to jail. | ||
| Yeah, that's so gross. | ||
| Assholes. | ||
| But that's kind of insane. | ||
| Like, people used to have riots like that when wheat would spike and people couldn't eat. | ||
| Whoa, look at this. | ||
| They're, like, in cars on fire. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's a shitty little car anyway. | ||
| The guy probably wanted to light it on fire. | ||
| Yeah, finally. | ||
| He's not even part of the protest. | ||
| He just happened to light his car on fire that day. | ||
| Somebody was telling me about this. | ||
| I was at a little kid's party. | ||
| I was talking to one of the dads. | ||
| And he was telling me about this. | ||
| The thing that happened, I think it was in Northern California, it was a fire. | ||
| Fuck, it might not have been Northern California. | ||
| It was a fire, and initially they thought it was just a fire, but then the CEO and his vice president were, both of their houses caught fire. | ||
| So then they thought it was like an attack on both people. | ||
| And then they realized, no, it was a murder. | ||
| And one of the guys killed the guy and his family and then lit his house on fire and then went back to his house and lit his own house on fire to make it look like they were going after both of them. | ||
| And he's the only one that survived? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoopsies. | |
| That just happened in New Jersey. | ||
| A guy... | ||
| Was it in New Jersey? | ||
| Maybe that was it. | ||
| A guy murdered his whole family. | ||
| No, his own family. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then lit the house on fire. | ||
| Then maybe that's it. | ||
| Maybe I'm getting a fucked up version of the story. | ||
| I get drunk at kid parties, too. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It's the only way to go by. | ||
| Family massacre disguised as a massive fire in New Jersey. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| This is the story. | ||
| So make that a little larger, please. | ||
| It says there was more than a brotherly bond between Paul and Keith. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| We're part of New Jersey. | ||
| That's where I'm from. | ||
| Vacation together and settled about 11 miles from each other in the suburbs of New Jersey. | ||
| But two days before Thanksgiving, a horrific chain of events would forever tear them apart. | ||
| Oh, his brother? | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| So I was getting a really fucked up version of the story. | ||
| Paul, how do you say that name? | ||
| Canario? | ||
| Caniero. | ||
| Caniero. | ||
| The Caniero brothers. | ||
| Killing his youngest brother, his sister-in-law, and their children. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| This is what's fucked up. | ||
| Like, what... | ||
| How does a guy go from never killing anybody to killing a wife and daughter? | ||
| So he killed his brother and his brother's whole family? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I thought he killed his own family. | ||
| Then he set his own home on fire with his wife and daughter inside. | ||
| Tried to make it look as if the whole family had been targeted. | ||
| His family got out of the home safely. | ||
| Can you imagine the panic? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck, man? | |
| You just murder these people. | ||
| You run back and you light your own house on fire. | ||
| Can you imagine, while you're lighting your house on fire, thinking the intensity of, this is going to work. | ||
| I'm going to get out of this. | ||
| This is where the plan goes. | ||
| And poof. | ||
| What's really fucked up is how does a person kill... | ||
| I mean, I understand you're mad at a guy and you fucking hate each other. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you! | |
| And you start fighting and then you wind up killing each other. | ||
| How do you kill his wife and daughters? | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| What switch goes on? | ||
| Is he just trying to... | ||
| Yeah, because he's just walking around. | ||
| Go back up. | ||
| It says he's killed his sister-in-law. | ||
| It said he's accused of killing his younger brother, his sister-in-law, and their children. | ||
| Like, how many children? | ||
| Like, who? | ||
| He killed kids. | ||
| So this is a guy who's never murdered anybody. | ||
| Just walking around Colts Neck Township, New Jersey. | ||
| Yeah, he's a businessman. | ||
| Probably never done anything really major in his life. | ||
| Right, probably was at a business meeting two days before with some guy. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Just living his life, talking about the Giants. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| His wife and his two daughters... | ||
| Oh, several twists in the case. | ||
| Oh no, look at that. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| He then allegedly set his own home on fire with his wife and his daughters inside. | ||
| Did you not hear me say that? | ||
| I thought you were talking about his brother's family. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| He killed his brother and his family, set the house on fire, then lit his own house on fire to make it look like he was being targeted. | ||
| I knew that, but I didn't know he had kids in his house. | ||
| Yeah, his wife and his daughters were inside. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| To try to make it look as if his whole family was being targeted, his brother and him. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| His family got out of the home safely. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Fucking unbelievable. | ||
| Think about his kids right now. | ||
| We're like, what did dad? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He... | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| What a monster. | ||
| Family of four was killed before sunrise. | ||
| Scroll up there. | ||
| Somewhere between midnight and 5 a.m., Paul Caniero was walking around his brother's $1.5 million Colts Neck home, armed with a knife and a gun. | ||
| His brother's been in front of the White Mansion when a deadly confrontation unfolded. | ||
| Paul fired multiple shots, striking Keith. | ||
| Fucking aim. | ||
| When you got mad at me for not following the story clearly, did you feel like you could kill me? | ||
| No, not yet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I need more. | ||
| I need more than that. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He walked inside, found Keith's wife, Jennifer. | ||
| He shot and stabbed her, and then stabbed their children. | ||
| Jesse, 11, and Sophia, 8. What the fuck, man? | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| Then he took some documents and set a fire in the basement. | ||
| What were they doing, like, the week before? | ||
| He fucking stabbed an eight-year-old dude. | ||
| An eight-year-old girl. | ||
| In her sleep. | ||
| How the fuck does someone... | ||
| In her sleep. | ||
| Did it say in her sleep? | ||
| Well, it was 5 a.m. | ||
| Doesn't matter, man. | ||
| There's gunshots in the house. | ||
| The kids might have gotten up. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| What a monster. | ||
| A monster! | ||
| What was this guy like the month before? | ||
| Like, what the hell? | ||
| Look at that normal looking house. | ||
| Shit, that is the normalest looking normal house ever. | ||
| Do you believe that there is always a presence of good and evil in the world? | ||
| Like, that it's not just evil deeds. | ||
| What this guy did was evil. | ||
| But do you believe that there is a real presence of evil that it's like a thing that takes over people or takes over – you know what I mean? | ||
| Like good and evil. | ||
| Is that more than just people's actions or is it like a force of nature? | ||
| Is there a good force of nature and an evil force of nature that is constantly – Using people and using things as a catalyst or as an instrument. | ||
| Let's break this down. | ||
| I don't think nature is the right way to approach it because I don't think there's good or evil in nature. | ||
| I think nature is actually far more moral than humans are because with nature it's just about survival, right? | ||
| It's predators and prey and they kill things and eat things, but When animals in nature kill, like what they call surplus killings, where wolves will kill like 18 elk and not eat them, they're just going on their instincts. | ||
| These things are there to be killed and they can get them because they can't run away. | ||
| Maybe it's thick snow or something like that. | ||
| So they just can't help it. | ||
| They just tear them apart. | ||
| Because their instincts are, they drive them to kill because that's how they survive. | ||
| That's how their family survives. | ||
| They're killing and they're eating these elk. | ||
| And this is just what they do. | ||
| And even if they kill a bunch of them where they can't eat them, their instinct is to kill because that's how they survive. | ||
| It's natural. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| With humans, it's very different. | ||
| Because with humans, there's consequences, right? | ||
| And there's law. | ||
| And there's other humans finding out. | ||
| So there's deception. | ||
| And then there's selfishness. | ||
| And there's the fear of getting caught. | ||
| And then there's your own survival instincts. | ||
| You don't want to get locked up in jail. | ||
| You don't want to get caught for something. | ||
| So I think, if I had a guess, that this guy didn't think he was going to kill this guy's wife and family. | ||
| He probably didn't even think he was going to kill this guy. | ||
| They probably got into a heated argument and they're stupid. | ||
| And he, you know, he's a guinea. | ||
| That's my people. | ||
| They do stupid, your people too. | ||
| They do stupid shit. | ||
| You know, they're fiery people. | ||
| And those fiery people, I swore off Italian girls when I was 21. I had an Italian girl take a swing at me when I was 21. I was like, that's it for me. | ||
| I'm done. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not hitting one back. | ||
| This is just too fucking kooky. | ||
| Some men and some women are fucking crazy. | ||
| And I believe in epigenetics. | ||
| And I see how wacky my fucking own kids are. | ||
| What's epigenetics? | ||
| Epigenetics... | ||
| Well, let's Google it so I don't bust up the actual definition. | ||
| But essentially, it's... | ||
| The way I'm using it is that there's certain traits that are not just environmental traits, they're inherited traits. | ||
| Here, we'll pull it up here. | ||
| The study of the changes in organisms caused by the modification of gene expression rather than the alteration of the genetic code itself. | ||
| There's better words than that. | ||
| There's better definitions than that. | ||
| The study of heritable changes in gene expression. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Active versus inactive genes that do not involve changes to the underlying DNA sequence. | ||
| A change in the phenotype without a change in the genotype, which in turn affects how cells read the genes. | ||
| Oh great, now I know less about it. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I think there's traits, and this is a very... | ||
| This is a very controversial, yet very fascinating field of study, because what they're doing is they're finding out that children that are twins, that are separated by, you know, when they're babies, they go into different foster homes, and they're raised by different families, have incredibly, remarkably similar Lives. | ||
| Characteristics, lives, loves, desires, like what they're interested in. | ||
| Incredibly similar. | ||
| And they're suspecting that a lot of the... | ||
| We are a combination of nature and nurture. | ||
| I think that's safe to say. | ||
| And I think that you certainly... | ||
| A lot of things happen to kids... | ||
| When they're young that shape their life, whether it's physical or sexual abuse, whether it's exposure to violence, or whether it's positive things like love and encouragement and inspiration. | ||
| But there's certain information, I think, that's transferred from the parent to the child while the child is in the womb. | ||
| And during the conception of the child, I think there's traits that come from the father and traits that come from the mother. | ||
| Biological. | ||
| Biologically. | ||
| This is undeniable across species, and I think this is why dogs... | ||
| Like, my dog has no fucking idea who his parents are. | ||
| He doesn't give a shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He's not looking for him. | ||
| He's not looking for him. | ||
| He's not on 23andme.com. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I grabbed that leash, and he's like, we running today, Derek? | ||
| And his... | ||
| What are you doing, Johnny? | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| Have you watched it yet? | ||
| The Three Identical Strangers? | ||
| No, I haven't. | ||
| But it's about this exact very thing, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you watch it? | ||
| No, I've started to watch the trailers and stuff. | ||
| Was it good? | ||
| I've been waiting for it to come on Netflix. | ||
| Oh, it's on Netflix? | ||
| Yeah, your dog's not like, I wonder what my dad's doing now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why did he leave me? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe we're going to have an awesome house together in the woods. | |
| No, but he's got certain instincts. | ||
| Like, he lifts up his leg to piss on things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, he smells things. | ||
| And he chases squirrels. | ||
| Like, there's things that are... | ||
| And he's a retriever, right? | ||
| He's a golden retriever. | ||
| So he brings things back. | ||
| I mean, I had pit bulls before. | ||
| And they'll bring things back. | ||
| But you've got to teach them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They don't want to bring things back. | ||
| And they definitely don't want to let go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| What they want to do is play tug-of-war with shit. | ||
| But he lets things go. | ||
| And it's, like, natural for him. | ||
| That soft mouth. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I have a black lab. | ||
| It does the same thing. | ||
| They hold things gently because they're used to retrieving ducks and pheasants that people shoot. | ||
| That's what they were raised for. | ||
| So he brings things back. | ||
| When I get him up in the morning, he stays in this little room, and when I get up in the morning at 7 to take my kids to school and all that stuff, when I open up the door, he whines like crazy. | ||
| He gets crazy, wags his tail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Woo! | ||
| So happy to see you! | ||
| But the first thing he does is pick up a toy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The first thing he picks up a stuffed animal and comes to me with the stuffed animal in his mouth. | ||
| Like, this is not something that we taught him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But this is something that... | ||
| And golden retrievers all around the world doing the same exact thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| All around the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All around the world. | |
| The same exact thing. | ||
| There's certain traits that they've... | ||
| And I believe that Italians... | ||
| My people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My people. | ||
| I'm not saying this about... | ||
| Mine too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And yours too. | ||
| I'm mostly Italian. | ||
| They're savage folk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is just a fact, man. | ||
| Just a fact. | ||
| There's a streak. | ||
| There's a streak. | ||
| It goes back to the Romans. | ||
| That's what I really absolutely 100% believe. | ||
| And that I think there are certain civilizations that have a longer history of being civilized and less violence. | ||
| And I think when you are dealing with folks that have... | ||
| And a real history of violence in their culture, and that this translates generation to generation and transfers down to the children. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I think this guy is part of that. | ||
| I mean, it's not a coincidence that the Italian mob is so ruthlessly brutal, or the Russian mob is so ruthlessly brutal. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| There's definitely that part of it. | ||
| And then there's the other part of it that, like you said, there's the nurture part of it. | ||
| Who knows what was going on in this guy's life that, you know, okay, so here we have two Italian brothers, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Raised the same way, Italian hot streak, all this thing. | ||
| And they're working together. | ||
| One brother decided to burn the house down and slaughter the family. | ||
| The other Italian guy didn't have that in his to-do list. | ||
| But not necessarily, because I don't know if they planned it out, or if he did it just because, I mean, he had a knife on him and a gun. | ||
| Maybe he was one of those crazy assholes that brought a knife and a gun everywhere. | ||
| Who the fuck knows? | ||
| Yeah, who knows? | ||
| But they were in business together. | ||
| And, you know, people in business together, they get crazy, and they get real resentful, and, you know, they think one person's not doing their fair share, or one person fucks up a deal, or one person's costing them money, and ugh. | ||
| Yeah, now who knows? | ||
| But how the fuck do you kill each other? | ||
| How do you stab a baby, man? | ||
| How do you stab an 8-year-old daughter? | ||
| Well, you take it in your hand. | ||
| Yeah, I have no idea. | ||
| But the Italians also like wine. | ||
| More wine, please. | ||
| Oh, someone's drunk. | ||
| I'll have to give you one of these 0% alcohol Heineken. | ||
| These are supposed to be the most delicious. | ||
| I've never had it. | ||
| I'm going to try one of these. | ||
| They're supposed to be the most delicious non-alcoholic beer. | ||
| Non-alcoholic beer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everybody was recommended. | |
| They said that if you want to try a non-alcoholic beer that doesn't suck, get this Heineken 00. Heineken 00. Cheers. | ||
| It's supposed to be the shit. | ||
| Tastes like Heineken. | ||
| It does. | ||
| There's literally no difference. | ||
| Pretty damn good. | ||
| For non-alcoholic beer, it doesn't have that weird, I'm lying to myself, funk to it. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't have that weird aftertaste. | ||
| If I was a junkie, I would not want to try opiate-free heroin. | ||
| Yeah, it tastes just like it. | ||
| It just doesn't seem like it'd be a smart move, but alcoholics will drink non-alcoholic beer. | ||
| Walk into a liquor store, buy this non-alcoholic beer, talk to the guy behind the counter. | ||
| You're demons. | ||
| You're literally at the gate of hell. | ||
| And the fucking demons are reaching out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| And you're like, no, no, no, thank you. | ||
| I just have this zero, zero. | ||
| Let me just test myself. | ||
| Do you think people who are clean are cool with taking CBD? Like, is that... | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| Well, the marijuana thing is different because I think for the vast majority of human beings, obviously there's a lot of biological diversity, but for the vast majority of human beings, I do not think that marijuana is physically addictive. | ||
| I think it's entirely possible that for some people it is. | ||
| But I think for the vast majority of people it is not physically addictive. | ||
| It's more psychologically addictive. | ||
| So I think it's a different thing. | ||
| So if they're taking CBD... I mean, it depends on how they're taking it. | ||
| If they're rolling up a CBD joint... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can take damn hits of CBD, which is a little extra. | |
| Do they do that? | ||
| Really? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| But doesn't some CBD have a little bit of THC? That's where I was going to go with that. | ||
| Some of it. | ||
| Well, this shit has the tiniest amount of alcohol. | ||
| It says alcohol-free. | ||
| But I think it's like... | ||
| What are the calories? | ||
| 00.04... | ||
| Alcohol-free beer with natural flavoring. | ||
| Do you know Heineken is one of the few beers that you can drink if you are a celiac? | ||
| It does not have wheat. | ||
| It's not a wheat-based beer. | ||
| So if you're gluten-free, you can drink Heineken. | ||
| Maybe not if you're a celiac, but definitely if you're gluten-free. | ||
| That's not bad. | ||
| Yeah, I like it. | ||
| That's not bad at all. | ||
| It's not bad. | ||
| Half the calories of standard. | ||
| Half the calories of a standard beer. | ||
| So those other calories are just pure alcohol. | ||
| I guess so. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I wonder if it's like a... | ||
| You know, there's one episode of the Opie and Anthony show. | ||
| Now that I remember this... | ||
| Oh my god, I forgot about this. | ||
| We gave this gal... | ||
| They had this... | ||
| I think her name was Stalker Patty. | ||
| I think that was her name. | ||
| Oh yeah, I remember that. | ||
| We gave this crazy... | ||
| You know how radio shows have these regulars? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're always coming to the studio. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they gave this one gal a breath strip, like a standard Listerine breath strip. | ||
| And this is back in the day when I used to get pot breath strips that would, they would fuck you up so hard. | ||
| I remember I gave a half of one to Tom Segura and we flew to Florida to do gigs together. | ||
| And by the time we landed, he's like, dude, I want to tell you something. | ||
| I almost didn't make it. | ||
| I was almost telling these people to turn this flight around. | ||
| He started freaking out. | ||
| He was freaking out! | ||
| Half of a breast strip would put you in an alternative dimension. | ||
| It was so strong. | ||
| So, we gave this gal a regular breast strip. | ||
| There's a video of it online. | ||
| Oh, it's like an hour long. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, don't. | ||
| That had no... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Had no weed in it? | ||
| So Ari gave her this breath strip, and then Ari proceeded to talk to her, and she was talking about how high she was, and she's so fucked up, she couldn't go anywhere. | ||
| But we all knew that she was sober. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| When you're a person who's a whack packer, there's a high chance there's an issue that's not being resolved. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Which makes it hard to listen to, frankly. | ||
| This is not a... | ||
| An actualized human being. | ||
| That would be the term. | ||
| This is not an actualized human being. | ||
| This is not someone who's got their shit together. | ||
| They're reading self-help books and fucking getting up at five and doing yoga. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're just trying to get through the day. | ||
| They're barely getting through. | ||
| And they found this thing that they cling to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Those characteristics are fascinating to me because you find them in other things. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Those characteristics of these people that find something to belong to and then they become a thing, they become a part of that thing. | ||
| You would find those people at pool halls, you find those people at martial arts places, you find those people that hang out at comedy clubs. | ||
| It's like they're a little off, but they find a thing that becomes the thing that they do all the time. | ||
| Even if they're not like the comedian, they'll hang out at the comedy salon. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| We know those folks, right? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| And I totally get it. | ||
| I mean, that's community. | ||
| I just want to belong somewhere. | ||
| We all want that thing. | ||
| That's where I go, and I know those faces, and they know me, and maybe I'm not totally a part of it, but I can go to the pool hall and feel like I was wanted on my home. | ||
| The pool hall was a perfect place for that because it was a hangout. | ||
| A lot of people weren't playing. | ||
| So if you had three or four tables going, so three or four tables would be six or eight people playing pool, but there might also be five or six people just hanging out, maybe playing cards, maybe just buying coffee and maybe ordering a sandwich or something like that and just sitting there eating. | ||
| It's important. | ||
| I was reading a whole article about that by David Brooks the other day. | ||
| And he was saying that economically we're richer than we've ever been as a country. | ||
| And even in the last couple of years, poor people, everyone's standard of living has gone up. | ||
| Which I wasn't really clear on. | ||
| I thought that only the rich people were getting richer. | ||
| But everybody was kind of being lifted up, but we're unhappier than ever before. | ||
| And the life expectancy is lower than ever before, and we're killing ourselves at rates that are higher than ever before. | ||
| And he was saying that it's that lack of community, that we don't go to church anymore. | ||
| We don't belong to those things that gave us meaning every day in our town. | ||
| And you used to go to church, and you'd go to the... | ||
| You need that sense of belonging. | ||
| And work is a big part of it. | ||
| And people now are in this gig economy and they're working Uber, they're working Seamless, they're doing different things, they're isolated, they're by themselves, they're not working with other people. | ||
| And he really believes that it's that lack of community and that lack of institutions is why we're very, very unhappy as a country right now. | ||
| It makes sense to me. | ||
| It makes sense to me as a person who's a part of a vital community, as a comedian. | ||
| Jeff Ross was here the other day with Dave Attell, and one of the things that he said that really struck with me, he said, I almost feel like I'm a comedian more than I'm an American. | ||
| I'm like a comedian first, I'm an American second. | ||
| I was like, yeah. | ||
| If you're at the airport and you run into Dave Attell or whoever it is, there's a light upon them that comes down from heaven. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's like, one of mine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Yeah, you just embrace them. | ||
| That's why I always get suspicious of comics who didn't embrace me. | ||
| As soon as you said, I was like, there's something more weird with this guy. | ||
| Something like Or comics that don't have any comic friends. | ||
| Yeah, very weird. | ||
| There's a few of those. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're fucking real strange, and they're always super selfish. | |
| Yeah, I can't even figure out exactly what it is, but I know that's not one of the good ones. | ||
| Yeah, especially if someone's a successful comedian. | ||
| That's why it's really weird. | ||
| You have the opportunity to hang out with some of the most fun people in the world, and you're a peer of theirs. | ||
| And you give them a pass. | ||
| It's like family. | ||
| I did this gig in Colorado once, and just by... | ||
| Chance, it was like this corporate thing, and there was another comic on the bill, who I won't mention. | ||
| And I was like, oh, that's cool. | ||
| We're in the middle of, like, nowhere. | ||
| And at least there's another comedian here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He did a set, split, didn't talk to me. | ||
| Just, like, there was no... | ||
| I was like your dog, like, hey, let's play, let's play. | ||
| And he just... | ||
| Split! | ||
| I was like, alright, that guy's weird. | ||
| That guy's something, and it's true. | ||
| I think it's less common now than it was back in the day, and this is another thing that I talked about with Jeff and Dave, is we were talking about camaraderie, that there's less competition now than there ever was before. | ||
| Because before, there was only a limited number of Tonight Show slots, there was a limited number of sitcoms that you could be on, and that's what everybody wanted. | ||
| Everybody wanted their own sitcom, and everybody wanted to be on The Tonight Show. | ||
| And there were very few of those. | ||
| Very few. | ||
| And everybody was competing for these very limited slots, and there were very few HBO specials. | ||
| There wasn't a lot, and there was a lot of us. | ||
| And so it led to a lot of jealousy, a lot of clawing and scratching. | ||
| And now, thanks to many things, thanks to the internet, thanks to YouTube initially, then podcast, and then Netflix, it seems like the world is our oyster. | ||
| There's so much. | ||
| All you have to do is put out good content. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| And you could have your own audience, and he could have his own audience, and she could have hers, and all exist without having to poach each other's audiences. | ||
| Yeah, and I promote, like in the beginning of, if you're listening to this on YouTube, it's not on it because it's something that I do in the beginning of the audio version of it, but I'm always talking about people's specials that are out. | ||
| Like now, the Bumping Mike special with Dave and Jeff Ross is out now. | ||
| They're not paying me to say that. | ||
| Netflix is not paying me to say that. | ||
| The Jerry Diaz special or the Christina Pazitsky special. | ||
| They're not paying me to say that. | ||
| I'm saying that because these people are all my friends, and I want them to prosper. | ||
| I want everything new. | ||
| I think they're great, and I want everybody to know that this is great stuff. | ||
| And if you're a fan of comedy, I want to help you. | ||
| It's like, I want to be that guy at the wine store going, hey, because you want to see an $18 bottle of wine that'll knock your dick into the dirt? | ||
| It's Joey Diaz. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| Nobody knows about it, but you're going to love it. | ||
| Well, more people know about Joey now than ever before, but not enough. | ||
| Yeah, no, I know. | ||
| He's the best ever. | ||
| I've never seen anybody that makes me laugh harder. | ||
| I don't know if I enjoy him as much as I enjoy how much you enjoy him. | ||
| It really is such a great thing. | ||
| Just watching you guys, when he's going off and you're laughing at him, it's just, it's like, I could watch that all day. | ||
| I feel so thankful. | ||
| He's so real. | ||
| He's such a, I mean, he's just one of those people that you just... | ||
| He's so real. | ||
| Especially if I have a buzz. | ||
| I've had a couple of drinks, I smoke a little weed, and I watch Joey. | ||
| I'm so thankful. | ||
| I'm just like so thankful there's a guy like that out there. | ||
| In my opinion, he's the leader of the charge. | ||
| Because he's the most reckless and wild, and even more so now. | ||
| Now that he did that Netflix special, oh my god, go see him, people. | ||
| He is a fucking monster right now. | ||
| He's peaking. | ||
| He's better than he was before, and he was the best before. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's such a great thing. | ||
| Like when you go to any club and you come in and you just see whatever random people are there. | ||
| You know, my wife was a comedian before we had kids. | ||
| And the first thing she wants to ask, she asks when I come back is, who was there? | ||
| Who did you see? | ||
| And it's like, oh, I saw Steve Byrne. | ||
| I saw the whatever. | ||
| And she's like, oh, she wants, because she doesn't, she's not part of the community. | ||
| Like she is, but she doesn't get to visit. | ||
| So it's like she misses that sense. | ||
| And we're very lucky to have that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As grown men to be able to walk into this very fun community that you're a part of. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man. | |
| It gives you meaning. | ||
| It gives you a sense of belonging. | ||
| And that's what a lot of people don't have nowadays. | ||
| According to David Brooks, that's the reason for everybody's malaise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think there's certainly something to that. | ||
| I think it's weird living in places where you don't know your neighbors, you know? | ||
| I mean, that's fucking weird. | ||
| I mean, Norton was telling me that he lives in this big apartment building in New York City. | ||
| And I think he said, I mean, there's got to be hundreds of people living in that building. | ||
| It's a huge, huge building. | ||
| Yeah, I know where he is. | ||
| He doesn't know anybody. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| He doesn't know anybody. | ||
| He says he tries to say hi to his neighbor. | ||
| They look at him like he's a fucking murderer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody's friendly to anybody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| They're like, you're too loud. | ||
| Stop making noise. | ||
| That's what everybody does to people. | ||
| Banging the door, banging the floor, banging the roof. | ||
| Just conflict. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's a weird thing. | ||
| And it's weird, you know, my youngest wants to go to church. | ||
| How old? | ||
|
unidentified
|
13. Because friends? | |
| What is it? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| She has more of a sensitivity and she knows there's something spiritual going on. | ||
| Ginger mushrooms. | ||
| I think that might have been what kicked the whole thing off. | ||
| And she's searching a little bit. | ||
| And she wants that. | ||
| She likes being able to sit someplace and... | ||
| And we go, and it's not like when I was a kid. | ||
| When I was a kid and we were Catholic, the place was packed. | ||
| You couldn't find parking. | ||
| It was a big deal. | ||
| My father would be like, we're going early. | ||
| Come on, get out of the house! | ||
| We gotta get a spot! | ||
| I'm not walking from the back! | ||
| And it was like a big thing. | ||
| Now it's like you kind of roll up, it's half full, and there's nobody there. | ||
| And it's, you know, of course, the Catholic Church has a lot of problems. | ||
| You think? | ||
| What do you mean by problems? | ||
| But all these religions have had a little kerfuffles. | ||
| No, they haven't. | ||
| No, they haven't. | ||
| Not like the Catholic Church. | ||
| No, the Catholic Church is the worst. | ||
| It's the worst. | ||
| I know, but don't let me get sidetracked. | ||
| Okay, I'm sorry. | ||
| The thing is we know so much now and we're able to see that all these institutions are flawed, that there's problems with all of them. | ||
| People used to think – my grandmother just thought church is the best and this is the best and they didn't ask questions. | ||
| Now we know everything and we know that all these institutions are flawed and I think we're making the mistake that you can't be a part of a political party, you can't be a part of a community, you can't be a part of a thing if it's not perfect. | ||
| But that's not a way to live. | ||
| You gotta kind of be a little ignorant if you're gonna show up. | ||
| You gotta kind of, not be ignorant, but allow things to be flawed. | ||
| Or start a new one. | ||
| Go on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the right way to address the issues of a flawed institution, and not just to accept them, but to try to create a new institution that doesn't have as many flaws. | ||
| I mean, that's not what we did, but what our founding fathers did when they established the United States of America. | ||
| The idea was to establish a place where you have an experiment in self-government. | ||
| And that's never existed before in the world. | ||
| And this is what the United States represents to the rest of the world outside of us. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, this is what we... | ||
| Again, I keep saying we. | ||
| It's not we. | ||
| But what the people that established the United States did was they broke the mold as to how a world superpower or a country... | ||
| It wasn't a superpower at the time. | ||
| Could exist. | ||
| But how a country could exist. | ||
| And then that country... | ||
| I mean, I don't think it's a coincidence... | ||
| That out of just a couple hundred years, that country emerged as the greatest superpower the world's ever known. | ||
| I think that freedom allows unprecedented activity in terms of innovation, in terms of creativity, and not being suppressed, and not being in total fear for your life for any form of dissent. | ||
| And this goes back to not just religion, but Any group that's in control of any sort of a situation, as soon as you suppress all the other people, you limit their ability to contribute. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| This is what has existed all throughout Europe and what existed all throughout Asia, all throughout the rest of the world when the United States came along. | ||
| And then when the United States came along, all of a sudden you have this unprecedented development and growth in this one place where people are allowed to be free, where we support free expression, where we support freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and we separate. | ||
| Church and state. | ||
| And this is one of the reasons why these things are so important. | ||
| So when you get like religious fundamentalist wackos that say, this country was founded on Christian values. | ||
| That doesn't matter. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| If you're a peaceful Muslim, if you're a peaceful Buddhist, if you're a peaceful Mormon, whatever the fuck it is, we should all embrace each other. | ||
| We should allow each other 100% freedom. | ||
| And as soon as someone starts restricting that freedom and restricting people's ability to express themselves, you run into real problems because then you don't let these things play out in their natural order. | ||
| You don't let ideas play out where people get to examine those ideas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, if you look at some of the more suppressive areas of the Middle East, the real problem is that these people live, not just, there's many real problems, but one of the real problems is these people live in fear. | ||
| So there's no real freedom of expression. | ||
| And there's also this real desire for conformity. | ||
| This real desire to establish that you are a part of the group that is one of the good ones that's going to abide by the rules and you are going to show everyone else that you are a part of this group, whether it means throwing gay people off buildings or throwing rocks at women that have been adulterers, all that stuff. | ||
| I was just going to say, like, your life actually depends on you conforming. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I was with my friend the other day who's gay, and he was saying that he can't... | ||
| You have a gay friend? | ||
| Just one. | ||
| Stop the show. | ||
| Just one. | ||
| Just come on, fellas. | ||
| Come on, fellas. | ||
| Shut it up. | ||
| And it really... | ||
| How close? | ||
| He's close. | ||
| Comes over your house? | ||
| So close. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I didn't realize... | ||
| He can't go to half of the planet as an open gay man. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He can't go to Russia. | ||
| He can't go to all of the Middle East. | ||
| There's parts of Asia... | ||
| Like, they will kill you if you're gay in those areas. | ||
| I mean, talk about... | ||
| I mean... | ||
| What's going to make a city flourish than gay people coming in with bold ideas and let's go? | ||
| I mean, I saw them change parts of New York like it was nobody's business. | ||
| Well, and also I think that what's great about gay folks is when gay folks are embraced and they're allowed to be themselves. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And then they can express that. | ||
| And then you get to see that, like... | ||
| There's such a giant spectrum of the way people behave and think and the things that they love. | ||
| And if you don't allow people to express their position on that spectrum, then you don't even know it exists. | ||
| Then you create all sorts of deviants because you're forcing them into some unnatural pattern, which is one of the things that I think about the Catholic Church. | ||
| I think part of the problem is that these people are suppressed sexually, like incredibly suppressed, not just suppressed in terms of Whether they're homosexual or heterosexual. | ||
| But there's no sex. | ||
| You're not allowed to have any sex. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So how's it gonna come out? | ||
| It's fucking insane. | ||
| It's like being in denial of the fact that you need to drink water. | ||
| And it's so upsetting because I'm really kind of searching a little bit because I was raised Catholic. | ||
| And I did like going. | ||
| I have what she has. | ||
| I did like going and sitting in the pew on Sunday. | ||
| It was different from the other days. | ||
| And I got to hear people talk about being nice to each other. | ||
| And I got to see the people from my town who you saw running around, but now they're just sitting there quietly and praying. | ||
| There was goodness to it. | ||
| And they went out and fed the homeless. | ||
| There was good stuff that came from it. | ||
| And she wants that. | ||
| I get that. | ||
| And now you're sitting in an institution, though, and you know the backstory of what's going on. | ||
| It's, you know, how do you sit there? | ||
| How do you sit there? | ||
| I said to her last night, maybe we should just go to yoga. | ||
| Satisfy your spiritual side. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But then they're wacky too, man. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Look, I go to Bikram yoga. | ||
| I go to hot yoga. | ||
| The 90-minute hot yoga. | ||
| And that guy, I don't think he's allowed to come in this country. | ||
| No, he's not. | ||
| Isn't that the deal? | ||
| The guy who made Bikram, no. | ||
| No, that guy... | ||
| I do not think he's a... | ||
| See, find out if that's the case. | ||
| He got a little rapey. | ||
| Well, he definitely got a little... | ||
| He took advantage of his privilege, his position. | ||
| His power. | ||
| Well, yeah, I guess you could say power, but the reverence that people had towards him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They felt like he was a guru, and so he would get these girls alone, and he would make them suck his dick or whatever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| See, now this, I'm getting, this is very dangerous waters. | ||
| But I was having a conversation with a woman who is a, she's actually an instructor. | ||
| And she said, listen, that guy is definitely creepy. | ||
| But let me tell you something. | ||
| A lot of those girls not only knew what he was about, but they wanted to be with him. | ||
| They wanted to be with him because of his power and because he represented something special to them. | ||
| And then when he just shot a load in their mouth and then kicked them to the curb, then they became angry and decided they were molested. | ||
| They went into it willingly. | ||
| I do not know if she's accurate or inaccurate. | ||
| I was not there and I'm not a woman. | ||
| But I do know that people have... | ||
| I remember... | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| that they had deep admiration for my martial arts instructor when I was a young kid and I was practicing Taekwondo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember these women, they were so in awe of my martial arts instructor because he represented a master of something that they were deeply enamored by. | ||
| And I think that's also what happens with these yoga people. | ||
| Yeah, it's seductive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| You know, it's seductive. | ||
| And also, with something like that, it's very physical and mental and spiritual. | ||
| It's sexual. | ||
| It's sexual. | ||
| Like, yoga is, look, I've never had any sex with anybody in my yoga class, but I'm telling you, when everybody's in there sweating and everyone's almost naked, I'm wearing these little fucking shorts and these girls are wearing these little shorts. | ||
| And the teacher goes around and she calls you out. | ||
| It's like, oh, she likes me? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I can understand how some of those people get intimate with each other after this is all over because they're so close to being naked and sweating together. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And your friend is right in that there were some women, I'm sure, who wanted to be with him. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| My friend was not dismissing any rape But it's his responsibility because he has the power and knows what he's wielding, like in a workplace kind of thing. | ||
| It's up to you to be the one who puts the brakes on it. | ||
| That's where it gets interesting because he does not seem to think that he does have any responsibility at all for the people that are working for him, teaching these classes. | ||
| He did this HBO documentary. | ||
| They did this HBO interview about him. | ||
| It was so ridiculous. | ||
| This is the Bikram guy? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He goes, there are women that will pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm. | |
| He says this. | ||
| See if you can find the video. | ||
| So he's fully aware. | ||
| He's fucking crazy. | ||
| He's fully aware of his power. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was dismissing the idea that he would ever sexually assault anyone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's like, why would I do that when these women that will pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm? | |
| Well, it wasn't that one. | ||
| It wasn't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It wasn't... | ||
| Brian Gumbel wasn't there. | ||
| I think they're discussing it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're discussing the sperm comment. | ||
| You're going to see the guy, because he looks like a... | ||
| Because he said the comment to a woman, and she was like this. | ||
| She was like, what in the fuck did you say? | ||
| You know, like, HBO's Andrea Kremer breaks down million-dollar sperm interview. | ||
| Million-dollar sperm interview. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| There's some shit that you say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's some shit that you say where people go, wait, what the fuck did you say? | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, there's some things that you would call beyond the pale. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love just seeing pictures. | ||
| You hear these stories, then you see them. | ||
| He's like, you're like grandpa. | ||
| He's like all loose skinned and he's balding. | ||
| But that's the thing. | ||
| It's like when you're in a powerful position like that, He's very spiritual. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And people will pay one million dollars. | |
| What does it say? | ||
| From being circumspect in RealSport, the 70-year-old went off on a rant claiming 5,000 women a day want to sleep with him. | ||
| Four have committed suicide over his charms, and people would pay one million dollars for a drop of his sperm. | ||
| Can you imagine if you lived in that world? | ||
| I would just shoot loads every day and then retire. | ||
| If you just drank, ate a lot of zinc, a lot of zinc, and like, what makes loads? | ||
| Oysters? | ||
| Celery. | ||
| Yeah, is that really? | ||
| Yeah, celery. | ||
| That's vegan nonsense and propaganda. | ||
| Celery adds to the pop. | ||
| Who tells you that? | ||
| The celery people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's like some fucking celery lobby. | |
| No, it's true. | ||
| Celery does. | ||
| How do you know? | ||
| I read something. | ||
| Porn people, right? | ||
| Celery? | ||
| Yeah, celery. | ||
| You know. | ||
| What's Jamie got here? | ||
| Oh, here he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can make a line. | |
| The most beautiful, famous, rich women in the world, if I have to sleep with women, then I have to sleep, you know, 5,000 girls every day. | ||
| 5,000 women a day want to sleep with you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They commit suicide. | ||
| Four of them. | ||
| You're saying that four different women? | ||
| Four different women. | ||
| Each killed themselves because you wouldn't have sex with them. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Why I have to harass women? | ||
| People pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm. | ||
| I can make million dollars a day, every drop. | ||
| You are that idiot or dumb to believe those trash. | ||
| The women are the trash? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I pick them from trash and give them life. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| 70 years old. | ||
| He looks pretty good for a 70 year old dude. | ||
| That's from selling all that loads. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| That one's no good. | ||
| It won't last very long. | ||
| They get gross. | ||
| They get it dry up real quick. | ||
| Yeah, they get gross. | ||
| Oh man, oh man. | ||
| Yeah, so that spiritual thing, like the whole... | ||
| But that's, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's like... | ||
| The problem with it is you're still an animal, right? | ||
| It's like we were talking about before where the wolves go on these surplus kills and they kill all these elk and they don't eat them. | ||
| In Wyoming there was a recent issue. | ||
| There was 18 elk that were killed by wolves in these surplus killings. | ||
| It was a real tragedy. | ||
| These wolves can't help themselves. | ||
| It's just their instincts. | ||
| So his instincts as a man, he has instincts to procreate, right? | ||
| He has instincts to respond to women that are sexually attracted to him. | ||
| And he teaches these classes in front of hundreds and thousands of people and everybody loves and adores him. | ||
| So in his fucked up, twisted brain, everything that he said there made sense. | ||
| My favorite part of it was that woman, Andrea, when she clarified, so you're saying that... | ||
| Four women have committed to it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This motherfucker has to be clear on this nonsense. | |
| There he is. | ||
| She doesn't even change her expression. | ||
| She's just like, so you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, look at that girl right now. | ||
| He's standing on top of a woman's hips as she's bent over backwards. | ||
| That girl is like, he wants me. | ||
| He's standing over me. | ||
| By the way, I've taken a lot of yoga classes. | ||
| Nobody ever stood on my hips. | ||
| No. | ||
| No way. | ||
| They're like, hey, bro. | ||
| But I do like it when you're doing yoga and they come over and they push your legs down. | ||
| Yeah, well, assisted stretching. | ||
| Oh shit, I just spilled. | ||
| I spilled Jamie. | ||
| Leave it there, bro. | ||
| Let it sink in. | ||
| It's good for the patina. | ||
| I'm learning those terms. | ||
| The patina. | ||
| So when you're in the church... | ||
| The church of yoga? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Home. | |
| Or real church. | ||
| And you're abusing your power. | ||
| That's a different animal because you're abusing it with children. | ||
| Yeah, it's so bad. | ||
| It's a totally different animal. | ||
| You know, when you're taking six-year-olds and abusing them, it's a different animal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like, there's levels to this shit, right? | ||
| Like, the guy killing his brother is horrific to me. | ||
| The guy killing his brother's wife, more horrific. | ||
| The guy killing his brother's wife, and then kids? | ||
| Impossible. | ||
| Demonic. | ||
| It's like, what you were saying earlier, like, do you believe in good or evil? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know if I believe in it, but if it did exist, it exists in the mind of men. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It exists in that time, you know? | ||
| I know. | ||
| Or, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had this bit that I did on my last special, and it was about men's rights groups. | ||
| I was trying to figure out a way to say this and make it be funny, but it's so true that I said, men commit most of the murder. | ||
| Men commit most of the rape. | ||
| Men cause all the war. | ||
| These are facts. | ||
| The most horrific things in our life are war, murder, rape. | ||
| Those are the most horrific things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In all of life. | ||
| I mean, theft pales in comparison. | ||
| And I think men steal more than women, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's the evil. | ||
| If there was a demon, and the demon came down to earth, and there was only three things that it could get you to do. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It would get you to rape, murder, and cause war. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So if a demon was real, a demon would be men. | ||
| I said this as a joke that I get feminists in the special. | ||
| I was like, I get it. | ||
| If I was a feminist, I'd be one, too. | ||
| I'm like, I can't be one as a man because they're not real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because male feminists, they're just tricksters. | ||
| Show me a male feminist that can pick up heavy things and run really fast. | ||
| They don't exist. | ||
| You have a limited parameter where you're allowed to be a male feminist. | ||
| But I get it. | ||
| When I look at the actions of men, if you're an objective person, you take yourself out of the human race. | ||
| And you look at all human beings. | ||
| And you look at the horror that men, not that women haven't done awful shit and falsely accused people and killed their kids. | ||
| And women have done all those things. | ||
| Some women. | ||
| Some. | ||
| But the vast majority of horrors have been committed by men. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's like, I know it's a very primitive way to look at the world. | ||
| That there's good and evil and it exists in these certain ways. | ||
| Want some pot? | ||
| That's good. | ||
| That's all good. | ||
| Get a little hit of that. | ||
| Don't get crazy. | ||
| I'm worried that I won't be funnier after I do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Let's see. | ||
| Jamie, I'll pick up the slide. | ||
| Dude, you're like Elon Musk. | ||
| You're a goddamn pioneer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We good? | |
| Jamie's got to go deeper. | ||
| Jamie's going for three, I think. | ||
| Is that three? | ||
| Jamie has hip problems. | ||
| If you see a video of the floor, Jamie hits the wrong button. | ||
| He's like Biggie Smalls over there in a cloud of... | ||
| What's amazing to me is that this is now 100% legal here, but still not federally, right? | ||
| Well, that's what was funny about the Elon thing, when Elon smoked it here. | ||
| It was like, it's totally legal, it's totally okay, but in everyone's minds, they're still like, no, it's not. | ||
| Yeah, well, they need to let it go, and this is why they need to let it go. | ||
| We're on your side. | ||
| I'm on... | ||
| Like, the good people of government, law enforcement, fire department, military, the good people of government, I'm on your side, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'm a stoner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I'm on your side. | ||
| I'm on your side a thousand million percent. | ||
| And making it legal actually helps all that because you don't have to go out and fight these phony wars against it. | ||
| It doesn't just do that. | ||
| It makes people more compassionate. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It makes people... | |
| Look, it's like everything else. | ||
| You can abuse beating off. | ||
| I remember when I was... | ||
| A million dollars a drop! | ||
|
unidentified
|
One million dollars for one drop of my sperm. | |
| If you're a person that gets obsessed with masturbation, you could ruin your life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's people that are legitimate porn addictions where they watch porn eight, ten hours a day. | ||
| And they can't stop. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is like everything. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think you can ruin yourself with sugar. | ||
| You can ruin yourself with food. | ||
| You can ruin yourself with laziness. | ||
| You can get into a habit where you just can't get up. | ||
| You can get into a comfort zone where you just want to take baths all day. | ||
| People do shit like that. | ||
| Yeah, no, I know. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Did Roseanne say she did that after all of her bullshit went down? | ||
| She just got in the bath all the time and drank wine? | ||
| Was that her that said that? | ||
| It's her safe space. | ||
| I apologize if it wasn't. | ||
| So anyway, I know it's a very basic way. | ||
| I mean, we've been talking about good and evil since the time of the men were able and women were able to write and philosophize. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| It just seems to me lately like... | ||
| It feels to me like evil and good is actually a force that we're struggling with. | ||
| And I know some people would say that's kind of a primitive way of thinking, but I do kind of feel like... | ||
| It actually is a very real, tangible thing. | ||
| What makes you think this? | ||
| Your personal feelings? | ||
| Is it based on your intuition? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Yeah, it's intuition. | ||
| It's like a vibe. | ||
| It's like a, it's just like a, maybe because I'm showing up at church and kind of like searching a little bit myself and I am very much about good people doing good things and I've just been kind of conscious of it. | ||
| But then there's always like this rise of evil that like comes up like all of a sudden white supremacists or these riots or these horrible things against people in different parts of the world and it's It seems like it's this ongoing struggle. | ||
| Almost like, why hasn't it caught up yet to the way you look at the world, the way a lot of people look at the world? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of people look at the world like if Tom Papa, if you were in charge and if you had to push all the buttons that would sort of decide how people behaved, if that was a possible thing. | ||
| Of course, one of the first things you do is eliminate all the violence. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And all the horrors of the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then also, I'm sorry to cut you off, but you also see that all those horrors are done by these men and stuff. | ||
| Who, when you sit and, like, kind of analyze them, and they've been the victims of a lot of things, and there's, like, genetic victimization and social, and it's like, so where's that coming from? | ||
| Why are these, this kid that could have been okay ends up in this life of crime and ends up murdering somebody, and where's that coming from? | ||
| Is this just a genetic mutation, or is there, like, a force of... | ||
| Good and evil. | ||
| I think we're still dealing with the echoes of the past. | ||
| That's what I really firmly believe. | ||
| And I think, also, the way maybe you and I are having this conversation, the way a lot of people are having these conversations today, just like us, basically the same sort of rational people sitting around I think we need to absorb that much better. | ||
| Our time spent Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| numbers are insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We can't understand that we literally were monkeys just a couple weeks ago. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The bit that I have in my act about the United States being founded in 1776. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's three people ago. | ||
| People lived to be 100. That's three people ago. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Yeah, that's nothing. | ||
| So three people ago, people were these creatures that had to make fire. | ||
| Right? | ||
| To stay warm. | ||
| They didn't have electricity. | ||
| They didn't have engines. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They made boats out of trees, and they used the wind to drift across the ocean while staring at the stars with a fucking gigantic harp-looking thing. | ||
| Right? | ||
| What was that thing? | ||
| A sextant? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Isn't that the thing that they used to look at the stars and figure out where the other ones are? | ||
| So you had to trust that these motherfuckers had mapped out the universe well so that you could make it across the ocean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a lot of people died of scurvy along the way. | ||
| Like, fuck, man. | ||
| That is crazy. | ||
| And not long ago. | ||
| Dude, that's so goddamn recent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was listening to Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. | ||
| One of the best podcasts ever. | ||
| I don't know if you've ever listened to it. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| But he has this thing on the Mongols called the Wrath of the Khans. | ||
| And what freaked me out is not just how crazy that world was back then and what unbelievable damage and destruction the Mongols created. | ||
| And how they just conquered empires, just moved across the world, killed millions and millions of people. | ||
| But what was really fucked up was, I think, Google this to make sure I'm not wrong, I think that was only like 1200 BC. I don't think that was that long ago. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's really recent, man. | ||
| That's really recent. | ||
| I think Genghis Khan died in the 1200s, if I remember correctly. | ||
| 1200 AD, not BC. A.D. Oh, did I say B.C.? I actually meant A.D. I said B.C., but it really did mean A.D. Which makes it more recent. | ||
| I'm a little stoned, folks. | ||
| But it made it a lot more recent. | ||
| But that 1,200... | ||
| Well, 1,200 B.C. would still be pretty fucking recent. | ||
| But 1,200 A.D., which is what I meant to say, that is so recent. | ||
| That's just... | ||
| Not that long ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's 818 years ago. | |
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ish? | ||
| Other way. | ||
| Other way. | ||
| 792. 792. 792 years ago, a guy killed 50 million people during his lifetime with his actions. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They changed the carbon footprint of the world. | ||
| I mean, they destroyed... | ||
| I mean, they... | ||
| So then you're saying it's more surprising that we're doing this kind of stuff and that we have electric cars and medicine and all this other kind of... | ||
| It's more surprising that we're doing that than it is that people are running around killing each other. | ||
| Nazi Germany. | ||
| Dude, that was 1940s. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's maybe crazier than anything. | ||
| And Carlin has some great stuff on that too in the history of World War I and World War II. But if you're You're watching a documentary on that, and you're watching those people move around, especially that one that you showed me, Jamie, that's been digitally remastered. | ||
| When you see it in color. | ||
| Is it Ken Burns that did that? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| They digitally remastered some footage from World War I, and you get to watch these people move around in real time. | ||
| You realize, oh, these are just people. | ||
| They're just people. | ||
| Just like you and me. | ||
| And this is like a hundred years ago. | ||
| A hundred years ago, we were involved in this crazy-ass war. | ||
| And then... | ||
| A few years later, involved in another crazy-ass war. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So why can't we figure it out? | ||
| Dude, I'm telling you. | ||
| Because evil is present. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it used to be the only way the people got by. | ||
| Killing each other? | ||
| I think from going from small groups of people... | ||
| Which, like, in these small groups of people, they would have interpersonal conflicts, they would have fights with members in the tribe, but they would sort it out, and there would probably be some sort of rule that they would all try to live by. | ||
| But then they would get invaded by people that didn't have anything, and they weren't looking for your stuff. | ||
| And they came over the top of the hill, and they killed, and they raped. | ||
| And they stole women, and they just did that for a long-ass time, man. | ||
| They did that for a long-ass time. | ||
| The history of the steps that Dan Carlin maps out in this Wrath of the Khan thing makes you go, Jesus Christ, imagine being born then. | ||
| Imagine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just imagine how crazy that meant being a baby and seeing arrows flying around. | |
| People cut open. | ||
| Dude, people were lighting people on fire and launching them onto roofs with catapults. | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is the footage from World War I. So look how they digitally remastered it. | ||
| Peter Jackson is doing it for a movie, I believe, or a documentary. | ||
| That's the craziest thing. | ||
| When you look at history and you think, well, that was then. | ||
| It's like, no, they're just us. | ||
| They're really no different than you and me. | ||
| Dude, we haven't been here this long. | ||
| We haven't been here this long. | ||
| This is the thing, like, people that look like this, that are wearing, like, uniforms and that are, you know, have, like, decent stuff, nice wheels to their wagons, all that kind of shit. | ||
| That's real recent, man. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| It's recent as fuck. | ||
| And there's been a bunch of different ways that people have done it. | ||
| You know, but even if you go back to, like, the Egyptians. | ||
| But isn't the act of, like, okay, so we know, like, that guy lit his house on fire. | ||
| We know that is a, just instinctually, we know and have known during even all this history, we've known that that is evil. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's insanely selfish. | ||
| It's not like we went from having to eat each other and now we're trying to get our act together. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| We all know that that is such a evil, evil thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is. | |
| It is. | ||
| I think it exists. | ||
| I think we have to fight it. | ||
| Well, it is evil, but it's ego that's causing that, right? | ||
| That guy didn't want to go to jail. | ||
| He didn't want to shoot himself. | ||
| He didn't want to kill himself, and he didn't want to go to jail. | ||
| So he decided he was going to kill a bunch of people to make up a story. | ||
| He had a plot, and his plot was to save himself. | ||
| And that's when people get trapped in a situation where they're allowed to make decisions. | ||
| And they're allowed to, you know, not allowed to, but if they choose to make decisions and those decisions are horrific and then they have to somehow or another justify those decisions because they never look at their own behavior. | ||
| They always judge other people. | ||
| This is a pattern that people fall into where they're always looking for other people to always be wrong. | ||
| And they never grow. | ||
| And so, like a guy like that, if he was so psychotic that he could kill somebody and then he has this decision to make. | ||
| This decision is to kill the wife and the kids, too. | ||
| He's just always got to be right. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He's trying to cover his tracks. | ||
| He's trying to lie. | ||
| Always. | ||
| The type of person that could do something like that, this is a horrific pattern of thought. | ||
| It might have been triggered by the murder itself. | ||
| So it's just a chemical flip in his brain that says, now I can kill people? | ||
| Like, he hasn't done it his whole life, and he's just going to the subway and getting a sandwich with all the stuff on it, and just, like, watching the Monday Night Football, and then the next week he's like, something flips in his brain, it's like, no, now I can kill all the people that I know and love? | ||
| I think in a fit of rage, in a fit of rage, he does something horrific, and then I think he's one of those people that tries to justify his actions. | ||
| So it just gets... | ||
| So he tries to figure out a way where he can justify it. | ||
| That they're going to be in hell anyway because the guy's dead. | ||
| You know, they'd probably better off not suffering. | ||
| I don't think he's thinking that deep. | ||
| He can't be thinking that deep. | ||
| He could. | ||
| You think? | ||
| People are crazy, man. | ||
| They come up with justifications. | ||
| Yeah, but we came from these, like we said before, this is an Italian dude like us. | ||
| Right, but he could have also, we don't know if he's medicated, do we? | ||
| No, that's a big one. | ||
| Your brain chemistry. | ||
| We don't know what he was doing. | ||
| He could have been on something, which makes people do horrific things. | ||
| Do you believe in karma? | ||
| I think for sure that when you put energy out there, it affects things around you in terms of the way people interact with you, and that in turn affects the way they will interact with other people as well. | ||
| And I think there's a certain amount... | ||
| There's an energy you put out. | ||
| You could call it that, but that makes it sound like you've got a crystal in your pocket, right? | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Energy is real. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Energy is a real thing. | ||
| There's a real... | ||
| Right? | ||
| If I was a murderer and came and sat in here, there'd be a different vibe than what you're feeling from me. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| A chronic masturbator. | ||
| Well, it's also... | ||
| People that are off and then struggling with the fact that they've done something awful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's like an energy to that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like a constantly being on edge energy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You ever read Crime and Punishment? | ||
| That's Dostoevsky? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I never read that. | ||
| Oh, you should read it. | ||
| It's so... | ||
| He kills someone and he's carrying the... | ||
| The guilt. | ||
| It's the greatest description of the guilt. | ||
| Just carrying that thing. | ||
| Now that guy's going to emit an energy... | ||
| But you don't think there's karma just for, like, you do something bad and then something bad will happen to you? | ||
| I think, I genuinely believe, and this is no crystals in my pocket, I genuinely believe that if you do something that you know to be awful, that that has an equal effect coming back at you. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Like, whatever bad that you've put out in terms of, like, doing something evil to a person, the way you feel personally, like, about yourself... | ||
| You will take an equal blow. | ||
| I really believe that. | ||
| And where does that blow come from? | ||
| I think it comes from your own introspective thinking. | ||
| So you're doing it to yourself. | ||
| And maybe even worse. | ||
| You might even feel worse than that person. | ||
| You'd say something rude to a person just because you're tired. | ||
| And then you realize you said something rude and you're like, fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, why did I do that? | ||
| And then they could be like, Tom Papa's a dick. | ||
| No, I'm really not. | ||
| I'm just so tired. | ||
| You just asked me something stupid. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| But it's hard to turn that around. | ||
| So you might hate yourself more than they even get mad at you. | ||
| So karma's really you dealing with the energy. | ||
| It's not the universe saying, now something bad's going to happen to you. | ||
| You're kind of creating it with your own actions and your own stuff. | ||
| I think it's real dangerous when we pretend that we have any sort of real understanding of the patterns of all the events that take place in the world. | ||
| So when you start to say like someone, something happened to someone because of karma, that's okay. | ||
| The problem with saying that is what about babies? | ||
| What about babies with leukemia? | ||
| Were they bad babies? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| Why did they get cancer? | ||
| Why did they die young? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Why did they die in car accidents? | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| They've never done anything bad. | ||
| They're babies. | ||
| But you could say that bad shit happens to us all, but can you create more bad shit by your bad actions? | ||
| I think it's entirely possible, too, and it's also entirely possible that you're creating more bad shit by feeling bad about yourself because you've done bad shit. | ||
| So you create more of this negative energy that you carry around with you. | ||
| I think that's entirely possible, too. | ||
| But I think that we also have this weird need to define things, you know? | ||
| And I think that we're looking to this thing that we're calling karma And we're saying that this is like this definite correlation between action and reaction and between the good you put out there and the good that comes back. | ||
| And my take is that I think there's definitely something going on. | ||
| But I don't think we should define it yet because I don't think we really know. | ||
| And I think as soon as we box it up and say it's this thing and this is the absolute reaction that the world has. | ||
| When you put good out there, good comes back. | ||
| Good people die all the time, folks. | ||
| Good people die. | ||
| I think there is an energy. | ||
| We know it from the work that we do. | ||
| I think it's both things. | ||
| When you stand on stage, there's an energy in that room, that transference between you and the people that are out there. | ||
| You're playing with it. | ||
| It's a real thing. | ||
| It's a very real thing. | ||
| It's like hypnosis, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, it is. | ||
| And then they can reverse, hypnotize you. | ||
| They can bring this other energy the other way. | ||
| So that there is this energy of all of us out there and running around, it's not that far to think then there couldn't be good energy and there's bad energy. | ||
| And is that ultimately good and evil? | ||
| Maybe it is all generated from human beings. | ||
| Maybe if you educated everyone and they could all be kind and try and come at it that way, we could actually feel that there was more good, but that's just more good coming from people. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, if you want to get really spacey with this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Really, really spacey. | ||
| It's the holidays. | ||
| You go... | ||
| Okay, well, what exactly are people doing? | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| What are people doing? | ||
| What are they doing? | ||
| Like, what's our purpose to be here? | ||
| Look at us from an outside perspective. | ||
| Like, pretend you're not a person. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you're looking at all the people like, what are they doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| They're moving really fast. | ||
| They're spending most of their time doing things they don't want to do, and they're buying stuff. | ||
| Bustling around. | ||
| And so because they're throwing all this money at stuff, the stuff keeps getting better. | ||
| So every year the stuff keeps getting more complex and more capable and more high-tech and more space-age. | ||
| This is bananas, man. | ||
| I've got to watch. | ||
| I can call people. | ||
| Fucking Dick Tracy, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that as people keep going on and on and on and on with this stuff, this is... | ||
| We need some sort of energy behind this innovation, and a lot of the energy is conflict, conflict and resolution, conflict and resolution, conflict and victory, victory and defeat, and defeat makes you work harder, and there's all these, like, interacting forces that are constantly moving together. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| And that this... | ||
| A lot of it is expressed, the success of this little game is expressed in material possessions. | ||
| The success in this game is expressed in Hamptons Mansions and Private Jets and Bentleys and PAM! I'm winning this fucking crazy game of stuff! | ||
| And there's a lot of value in winning the crazy game of stuff. | ||
| So we let these people acquire all this stuff and you got all these diamonds and fireworks. | ||
| I got a jet ski! | ||
| Yeah, but this is forcing more stuff to be made better and more innovation, which will eventually, and this is where it gets spaciest of all. | ||
| I'm waiting for this part. | ||
| This is going to be what people become. | ||
| People are going to become some sort of symbiotic organism, something that's tied into electronics. | ||
| It's happening now. | ||
| It's happening slowly, and we're making it with stuff. | ||
| And as we keep making stuff, it's eventually going to get to a part. | ||
| The thing you'd like to do more than anything is have it enhance your experience on Earth. | ||
| I want to be able to take pictures, yes, yes. | ||
| I want to be able to email people, yes, yes. | ||
| But I also want it to make my experience on Earth better. | ||
| Well, then we're going to have to integrate with your circuitry, Tom Papa. | ||
| And then live forever. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe that's what the organisms are trying to do. | ||
| They're trying to become this thing that... | ||
| Get rid of the monkey that wants to start the wars all the time. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Enlightenment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Purge that. | |
| Purge that out of our goofy ass system. | ||
| Beat evil. | ||
| What if only some... | ||
| That would be a great science fiction movie. | ||
| What if this is the future? | ||
| And they probably have already made it. | ||
| But if only some people went on board with the new enlightenment that you get from these headsets. | ||
| Remember the dude from Star Trek? | ||
| The blind guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| From Sesame Street? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Remember? | |
| He used to be on Sesame Street, right? | ||
| Yeah, he was the... | ||
| LeVar Burton? | ||
| Reading Rainbow. | ||
| Yeah, Reading Rainbow. | ||
| LeVar Burton? | ||
| LeVar Burton, yeah. | ||
| If we all had those things on... | ||
| There was only like 10 of them. | ||
| Most people bought into it, and those things completely cure you of any evil. | ||
| Yeah, and just moving along. | ||
| I think that... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, maybe there is no purpose to us being here. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| That's an air filter, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You got that shit from Pep Boys. | |
| That's an air filter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's like a cool air filter on top of a muscle car. | |
| Isn't it? | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That's a 69 Chevy. | ||
| Yeah, you bought that at the auto parts store and put it in your Toyota Corolla. | ||
| Those are the dope old ones, man. | ||
| When you fucking unscrew the chrome hubcap, you pull it off and you put the new air filter down. | ||
| I always liked a good wing nut. | ||
| Yeah, man, the wing nut. | ||
| No tools, just... | ||
| And people don't remember, man. | ||
| These people today, you don't remember what gas smells like. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| You could fix your own car. | ||
| You could open it up and with a screwdriver and a high school education, fix your automobile. | ||
| I was never smart enough or knowledgeable enough to fix my own car, but I could do little things. | ||
| I could do it. | ||
| I could change my oil. | ||
| Yeah, change your oil. | ||
| I could do a lot of things with old cars. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| I was too stupid to fix them. | ||
| I did the brakes once. | ||
| I did the brakes. | ||
| Did the brakes. | ||
| That's a bold move. | ||
| What if you're wrong? | ||
| I was poor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| I didn't have money. | ||
| Buying brake pads was a lot cheaper than having some guy know how to do it. | ||
| Did you put it up on a jack? | ||
| How'd you handle it? | ||
| Yeah, put it up on a jack. | ||
| I had a cinder block that held it underneath. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| It was a light little car, little pads. | ||
| Put them in. | ||
| I probably had to get it fixed after that. | ||
| But yeah, you could fix stuff. | ||
| There was a time when you could actually... | ||
| And you felt good about it. | ||
| But... | ||
| But, if you had to choose between one of those fucking rickety shitboxes that's like a rhinoceros on roller skates versus your Tesla. | ||
| Yeah, no, there's no way. | ||
| Those old things can go fuck themselves. | ||
| No, and I wouldn't put my kids in one of those. | ||
| We were driving around in those death traps. | ||
| Dude, those are death traps for sure. | ||
| No steering, no airbags. | ||
| Hydroplane at the drop of a hat. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Just spinning around. | ||
| They were so engine heavy, remember? | ||
| Those cars, they had just big ass engines in the front. | ||
| They didn't know how to The ass end would just slide all over the place. | ||
| It was so easy to slide your car back down. | ||
| It was totally. | ||
| Being with your friends, just spinning out in this big medical... | ||
| The cars of today, they've figured out how to balance them. | ||
| That's the big deal. | ||
| No, it's a huge deal. | ||
| Like a Tesla or anything. | ||
| You buy a fucking Camry, okay? | ||
| That Camry handles way better than a 69 Camaro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking way better. | ||
| I would like to see what the death rates are on the roads now with new cars. | ||
| It's gotta be... | ||
| It's probably much better. | ||
| I mean, they're much safer than they've ever been before. | ||
| But they're also driving much faster, too. | ||
| Yeah, but you don't have to drive very fast for it to be fatal. | ||
| They just didn't know how to make stuff. | ||
| Everything was metal and glass, filled with gasoline. | ||
| Fucking metal and fucking sparks and fumes. | ||
| Fumes were everywhere, man. | ||
| You'd be driving, you'd be getting high from the fumes, right? | ||
| I remember when I was working for a fireplace company in the summer in New Jersey, and I was in a truck, and we're in this truck in traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike right by Newark Airport. | ||
| And just the fumes from everything, from the city, from the cars. | ||
| It was just orange in the humidity of New Jersey. | ||
| I was like, if I get cancer, this is going to be the day that it hit me. | ||
| And it makes people crazy. | ||
| It's like throwing alcohol on fire. | ||
| Breathing that dust all day. | ||
| So disgusting. | ||
| Pull up a video of the sound of the exhaust of a 1969 Camaro. | ||
| There is something to it. | ||
| There's something to it. | ||
| The smell of gas is a good smell. | ||
| It's not just that, man. | ||
| It's that sound. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a sound. | ||
| Ooh, how about this one? | ||
| Even better. | ||
| 1960s Chevelle... | ||
| 1970s Chevelle SS. Yeah. | ||
| You can fuck yourself, rest of the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, that shit? | |
| That's America, motherfucker. | ||
| There's nothing evil about that sound. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| That is America! | ||
| You driving one of those motherfuckers around? | ||
| It was very cool. | ||
| I mean, American muscle cars, as preposterous as they are, they represent in a lot of ways what's great about America. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The excess, ridiculousness. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Not giving a shit. | ||
| It's just so outrageous. | ||
| Just let's go. | ||
| Let's have a good time. | ||
| Fucking giant metal explosion contained in the front of the hood. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| A giant-ass explosion box. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Ooh, that's the 69. Is it? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Yeah, it's the 69, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There it is, yeah. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| That is fucking insanely beautiful. | ||
| Good lord! | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| Oh my god, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy... | |
| This is gloriousness. | ||
| You see heaven on earth right here. | ||
| 1969 Chevelle. | ||
| Look how pretty that car is, man. | ||
| If this guy's across the street from me and I'm looking out with my coffee out of my window and he comes pulling out with that on a Saturday morning, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| What? | ||
| This guy's an asshole. | ||
| Do you hear Herbie with his new car? | ||
| He's going through a midlife crisis. | ||
| You say that, but I guarantee you if you were next door and you just walked over and looked at it, it would catch you in its bell. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha! | |
| We would. | ||
| One drop of sperm. | ||
| If it's across the street, it's just racket. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Why does your car have to be so loud? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Keep it down. | |
| But if you're right next to it, you're like, wow, 1969, huh? | ||
| And you'll start walking around it. | ||
| That is pretty badass. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't make a car like that today because it's not even remotely aerodynamic. | ||
| It's not aerodynamic. | ||
| It's not fuel efficient. | ||
| It's not safe. | ||
| But they're beautiful, man. | ||
| They nailed it. | ||
| They hit this sweet spot in art and engineering. | ||
| That is the one part of the American experience. | ||
| Recklessness. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what drives everything. | ||
| There is that element of balls to the wall. | ||
| Let's see what happens. | ||
| Let's discover. | ||
| And you could get good things out of it. | ||
| Right, but imagine this. | ||
| Imagine something that's far inferior to the modern alternative, but makes you feel in a way the modern alternative isn't capable of feeling. | ||
| Like, if you see a 1969, like, done up Mustang GT. What was the big one that year? | ||
| GTO. Mach 1. Was it a Mach 1? | ||
| What the fuck was the 1970? | ||
| Was it a Boss? | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| The 69 was like a Boss. | ||
| And then earlier than that, they made those Eleanor cars for that Gone in 62nd. | ||
| I think those were 1967. So early in that they had that body style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, if you looked at one of those next to a 2018 Mustang, the 2018 Mustangs look fucking great. | ||
| They look great. | ||
| That's it, right there. | ||
| It's a Mach 1. Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| It's from the John Wick movie. | ||
| Dude, there's a company that's making these now, too. | ||
| They're called Classic Recreations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| And they're making these brand new versions of that car. | ||
| They take 1969 Mustangs and they rebuild them, but they give them real brakes so they stop good. | ||
| Modern suspension. | ||
| They make it so you can drive it around. | ||
| See, that's what I'm interested in. | ||
| That makes sense to me. | ||
| That makes a lot of sense. | ||
| Those old ones, they're just pretty. | ||
| Mustang, badass tires. | ||
| But when you look at that, how beautiful is that? | ||
| It doesn't look like anything that you can buy that's modern. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| There's nothing remotely close. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's like vinyl. | ||
| They just nailed it. | ||
| Whatever the fuck they did, they nailed it. | ||
| All these years later, we're like, God damn it, they nailed it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But they nailed it for us, you know, a certain lunkhead from New Jersey. | ||
| That doesn't do that for you? | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| Look at that red one with the black stripes in the hood. | ||
| *Gasp* You don't know if young people would like that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You need to start arresting them if they don't like that. | ||
| If young boys don't look at that Mustang and say, good God, that's incredible. | ||
| If they don't do that, then they should probably go to jail somewhere. | ||
| That is pretty hot. | ||
| That's incredibly good looking. | ||
| But it's stupid. | ||
| It's insanely beautiful. | ||
| But it's also stupid. | ||
| How so, sir? | ||
| It's just metal right in your chest cavity. | ||
| No airbag. | ||
| You need to do more push-ups. | ||
| Just glass just in your face. | ||
| It's probably a little bit of that. | ||
| No, I know what you mean. | ||
| Just don't get in a car accident and drive carefully, and it's a wonderful thing to behold. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My buddy had a Mustang when we were in high school. | ||
| But if you saw something like that, but it had airbags, you'd be cool with it then? | ||
| Yeah, no, I'm cool with it anyway. | ||
| I'm just busting balls. | ||
| But I think that it's... | ||
| Look at that little orange thing in the middle. | ||
| That looks closer to what I had. | ||
| I had a 76 Toyota Corolla. | ||
| Call that up. | ||
| Call up a 1976 Toyota Corolla with the racing stripes along the side. | ||
| Look at that, bad boy. | ||
| Look at that orange one in the second row. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| I had a 1984 Honda Accord. | ||
| Pull that shit up, Jamie. | ||
| 84 Honda Accord with stuttering spark plugs. | ||
| That's a 79. You need the 76. Those are cool little cars, though. | ||
| I could fix that car. | ||
| That's what I was doing the brakes on. | ||
| Yeah, it looks like one of those, something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was white. | |
| Nice little shitty car. | ||
| Seven Legend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| It's just like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| Ooh. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| Here's the thing about those cars. | ||
| That's a nice car. | ||
| Those fucking cars drive forever. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| It's amazing how reliable Hondas are. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They're so insanely reliable. | ||
| Toyotas. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Just go forever. | ||
| Just having that crummy car is a good thing. | ||
| So you think, back to your point of view of what are these people doing here? | ||
| So they're building, I liked where you were going. | ||
| We're making stuff. | ||
| Making stuff for what? | ||
| Because everything's electronically based. | ||
| And is this all instinct or is it being steered by something? | ||
| Are we just finding our way in the dark and this is what's coming out? | ||
| Or is there some plan? | ||
| That's the heavy question. | ||
| It's really hard to know if there was a plan. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I get why some would be suspicious that there would be. | ||
| But if you just see the whole nature, right, the starting off of the tribal behavior and the invasions of the others and the wars that have taken place sort of nonstop, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get this hyper-competitive team-oriented thing. | ||
| It's broken into countries. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, I think that with that and this, like, constant competition and this constant – and then inside your country, this constant competition economically and everybody just striving to achieve and do better and get crazier and bigger and this is all leading to us just continuing to buy stuff. | ||
| Like, everybody that is involved in this is buying the newest iPhones, the newest MacBook, the newest this, the newest that, the Xbox fucking – how many Xboxes have there been now? | ||
| Let's just say four. | ||
| Four, yeah. | ||
| They're going to keep going. | ||
| They're going to go to Xbox 5. They're going to keep going. | ||
| That's what everybody does. | ||
| They want better shit. | ||
| They want VR. We want VR. We want hyper-realistic VR. I want VR with no gear. | ||
| I want you to be able to give me a pill, and that pill releases a bunch of nanobots that go through my circulatory system and find my brain and juice it up with some artificial memory. | ||
| That's what I want, and I shit them out later. | ||
| Like buckshot. | ||
| Clink, clink, clink. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a kidney stone. | ||
| Yeah, you shit it out like buckshot. | ||
| Like little BBs coming out in your poop. | ||
| This is... | ||
| Look, beings always try to... | ||
| Find safety, right? | ||
| That's what they want more than anything. | ||
| They don't want to get killed. | ||
| They want to be safe and exist, eat whatever, but they just want that safety. | ||
| So maybe our safety is going to come when we're out of the woods, we're out of the wild, we're out of the 20th century, and we're just these insular things that never have to go out and about and live forever and just be. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| Maybe that's what all this push of technology is aiming towards. | ||
| Yeah, it could be. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's just to protect ourselves in these little cocoons and be. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, if the ultimate threat is always violence and war, right? | ||
| That's the ultimate threat to the organism. | ||
| The organism would commit violence and war against each other. | ||
| Yeah, which is why we make doors and gates and stuff to keep those things at bay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But the most fascinating things that people don't address, like what would cause a person to snap. | ||
| There's no real concrete answer. | ||
| What do you think is the difference between, and I'm asking this honestly, killing when you're hunting and killing a human being? | ||
| I think it would be a giant difference in terms of the way you felt. | ||
| Yeah, how could you articulate it though? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I've never killed a human being. | ||
| But I would imagine that it would be... | ||
| I mean, it would have to be some horrific situation where you're battling for your life, which people do. | ||
| It does happen. | ||
| We're all aware of it. | ||
| It's the worst possible scenario. | ||
| We would all like to think that everybody that we meet that's of sound mind should be our brothers and sisters. | ||
| I mean, we should all get along. | ||
| Whether you agree or disagree about certain political issues or certain social issues, we should be able to talk through that as a community, but always hold at the top that we're all in this together. | ||
| I think that's possible. | ||
| I think that's possible, and I think we could still satisfy this fucked up desire that we have to constantly compete. | ||
| We can temper that with what I think is the most important thing, is finding something that you're passionate at. | ||
| Because I think you and I are really, really lucky that we found stand-up. | ||
| And through stand-up, we found this thing that we're passionate at, and we have a good time, and we have fun. | ||
| Some people don't have that. | ||
| So if you were offered a job as a stockbroker, and this is a guaranteed job, you have a guaranteed contract for the next 20 years, you're going to make five times as much as you make doing stand-up, but you can't do stand-up anymore. | ||
| You would never take that. | ||
| You'd be like, why would I do that? | ||
| So even though you're a guy who does well, you're not a business person. | ||
| You're a guy following your passion. | ||
| And it's allowed you to live a nice life. | ||
| But that doesn't, it's not the same as a lot of people. | ||
| What a lot of people are doing is just chasing the money. | ||
| So the passion doesn't exist. | ||
| And they can manufacture that passion when it comes to some desire to see their team kick ass because their company's number one. | ||
| It doesn't have to be the work. | ||
| Yeah, it could be. | ||
| It could be really that they are into succeeding in the business world, and that's their passion. | ||
| There's a lot of people that like that. | ||
| But it's not the same as a guy like David Cho, who's like a professional artist, who's making – he just follows his passion. | ||
| He does what he wants. | ||
| There's a different kind of achievement. | ||
| There's a feeling that he has, the way he interfaces with what he does for a living, that's different than what a lot of people do. | ||
| So I would imagine that – Artists would probably be less inclined to go crazy and spend all their money on stuff and buy things that make them look better or make them feel better about the fact that they work so hard. | ||
| Because they're not trying to fill a hole. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But if you have a job for a company that you don't really give a fuck about, you don't really give a fuck about styrofoam coolers. | ||
| You really don't give a fuck about those rubber bands that people buy when they have causes. | ||
| You don't give a fuck about this company, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| A fucking guy who does your business and you're there. | ||
| Okay, well, you know, we can give him to you for $17.96 if we can work this through. | ||
| Bob, we're talking about a thousand bucks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He doesn't want to be there. | |
| That guy wants to be fishing. | ||
| That guy wants to be doing something else. | ||
| You're insanely fortunate that you don't have that in your life. | ||
| But I think, I don't think those people, look, a lot of people have jobs that they're not into, but the reason we're lucky is that our job is our passion. | ||
| A lot of people have the job that they're maybe not into, but they love this other stuff that they do. | ||
| They love being with their family and It's the most insanely lucky thing ever. | ||
| But I think that for people that are hyper-competitive, that don't find a thing that they really love, then it really, for many of them, becomes about pursuing the best stuff. | ||
| And this is what fuels so many people for these status symbols. | ||
| Like if you have an iPhone 8, if a kid sees you with an iPhone 8 and they got an iPhone 10, they feel superior to you. | ||
| It's fucking weird. | ||
| They can basically do the exact same thing. | ||
| iPhone 8 has a fucking killer camera. | ||
| iPhone 8, you know, like the battery's pretty similar. | ||
| Oh, the bezels are bigger. | ||
| The differences are tiny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Tiny. | ||
| But for status-seeking people, it's very important that you have the latest stuff. | ||
| Like, you can't be walking around like, David Tell the other day with an iPhone 2. Jamie burst out laughing. | ||
| He got on Twitter. | ||
| Attell is hilarious. | ||
| There's nothing about Attell that is searching for status. | ||
|
unidentified
|
None. | |
| I was saying that he's like a monk in that way. | ||
| He is. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| He's smart. | ||
| He's a brilliant guy. | ||
| He knows what's healthy for him and what's not, other than the cigarettes. | ||
| Yeah, he can't put those. | ||
| But in terms of mental health. | ||
| But all his other stuff, he stopped drinking and did all his other things. | ||
| Yeah, no, he cleaned himself up really well. | ||
| The cigarettes are the only vice he has. | ||
| Cigarettes and coffee, he was saying. | ||
| That's his vice. | ||
| He's a poet amongst us. | ||
| Yeah, he's brilliant. | ||
| He's somebody that... | ||
| He's special. | ||
| He really is, and he's a really good guy. | ||
| Yeah, no, he's so kind. | ||
| He's so kind. | ||
| Just being around and in his orbit for years coming through New York. | ||
| I love him and Jeff together, too. | ||
| I love the two of them together. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's really... | ||
| Jeff Ross and him. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| I never would have seen that coming when we were all young in New York. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| I never would have saw that, those two doing it. | ||
| I don't know what, not for any real reason, but I just never saw them intersecting. | ||
| I never would have saw any of us doing something like that, doing live shows together, fucking around with each other. | ||
| It's a great idea. | ||
| It is a great idea. | ||
| Because some of those shows, you see those pictures from the Comedy Cellar, and they're like, One o'clock in the morning, Dave Chappelle's on stage with Chris Rock, and they're fucking around. | ||
| I know, there's always three guys on stage. | ||
| That's crazy, man. | ||
| I never understand that either. | ||
| But being around Attell, watching him all through the years, he would always surprise you when someone's father died or something happened. | ||
| Attell was always... | ||
| Front and center, like, helping out, giving people money. | ||
| Like, there's a kindness to him. | ||
| He's a legitimate kind guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Another force of good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A real force of good. | ||
| And a guy who, like, comics should really appreciate. | ||
| Like, if you're a fan of the art form, like, David Tell's really someone to appreciate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because he's always creative. | ||
| It's, like... | ||
| It's never douchey. | ||
| It's always funny. | ||
| Skanks for the Memories? | ||
| That's one of my all-time favorite CDs. | ||
| That shit is hilarious. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| That is a hilarious CD, man. | ||
| I think he did that in Denver. | ||
| I think he did that at the Comedy Works at Wendy's place. | ||
| Oh, very cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's very cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Skanks for the Memories. | |
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, that fucking... | ||
| In Denver? | ||
| That CD's brilliant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, to answer what you're saying, yeah, your face here in its photo. | ||
| He's so silly. | ||
| I think that was when he was doing insomnia too, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was the partying days. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's just such a smart guy. | ||
| He just decided at one point, hey, this is fucking me up. | ||
| No more drinking. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| No more drinking, no more show. | ||
| I'm not going to do this thing that's attracting negativity to my shows and setting me up as a guy that's going to drink himself into oblivion. | ||
| No, he was smart. | ||
| He pulled the cord. | ||
| Yeah, you're the party guy. | ||
| You're the life of the party guy. | ||
| You need to talk to Bert. | ||
| Just sit Bert down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ask him what the fuck he's... | |
| What's his end game? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Or talk to Ron White. | ||
| He's doing it with a... | ||
| Listen, Ron White... | ||
| Ron White's not faking it. | ||
| I'll tell you exactly what Ron White's doing. | ||
| He's riding that fucking boat right into the rocks. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| And he's doing it with a tequila company. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| He's got his own tequila company. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cheers. | |
| Happy holidays. | ||
| Cheers, my friend. | ||
| I set up my train under my tree. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Numero One? | ||
| Is that his tequila company? | ||
| I just said I set my train up under my tree, and you still focus on tequila. | ||
| Did you have photos or videos of this train under your tree? | ||
| I think I did. | ||
| Put anything on the Instagram? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| It wouldn't be real if it wasn't. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard. | ||
| I love it, though. | ||
| Especially good stuff in your life. | ||
| My kids are getting older. | ||
| They're like 16 and 13 years. | ||
| And they were at school and I'm setting up the village under the tree and the train tracks and all the people shopping around the village. | ||
| And I was doing it on my own because they don't have time to really do it. | ||
| And I was like, this is how people become the guy in the neighborhood who's like, bring your children around to look at my train set. | ||
| Because your family leaves and you're like, are there any children around that want to look at my train set? | ||
| I could totally see myself doing that at some point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Totally. | |
| Well, there's those dudes that they go all Close Encounters of the Third Kind. | ||
| They make that giant one in the middle of the living room. | ||
| That's such a funny reference. | ||
| Yeah, because he had the plywood on the horse. | ||
| Yeah, he went crazy and built that mountain in the middle of his house. | ||
| His wife divorced him. | ||
| Yeah, you make a train around that. | ||
| It's not that far from that. | ||
| That's really funny. | ||
| Why can't I remember his name? | ||
| Richard Dreyfuss. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Richard Dreyfuss. | ||
| What a great movie. | ||
| Well, he's been great in so many things. | ||
| He was like always the unassuming guy. | ||
| Jaws? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Him and Spielberg. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was the scientist. | |
| He was Spielberg's alter ego, really. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's so good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's so good in everything. | ||
| He looks so young there. | ||
| He was, man. | ||
| Man, oh man. | ||
| What a fucking movie this was, because I wanted to believe so bad after this movie. | ||
| I so wanted to believe. | ||
| They got me. | ||
| Hey, did you talk about that alien craft that came into our galaxy? | ||
| It did. | ||
| The one with the Hawaiian name? | ||
| Oh, so it's over. | ||
| You didn't hear about that one? | ||
| The one that looks like a joint? | ||
| Yeah, or a big piece of poo. | ||
| Yeah, that's just a rock, right? | ||
| The big duty copter. | ||
| It's just a weird rock, I think. | ||
| No, they said that some legit people said that it changed speed and went in different directions. | ||
| Oh, legit people. | ||
| Legit people. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Scientists. | ||
| Oh, them guys. | ||
| Said that it could be something. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| What does Neil deGrasse say about it? | ||
| He's not talking right now. | ||
| Yeah, he's in a little bit of a kerfuffle. | ||
| Kerfuffle. | ||
| What's this, James? | ||
| Harvard scientists say aliens may explain bizarre interstellar object. | ||
| Yeah, I saw that and then I saw someone refuting that they would- Harvard scientists! | ||
| Harvard! | ||
| Nobody wants to believe more than me, bro. | ||
| Come on, Joe! | ||
| It's real! | ||
| Well, if I was going to mask my spaceship to fly through the galaxy, I would definitely make it look like a big rock. | ||
| Yeah, like a big asteroid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why wouldn't you? | ||
| Driving through space. | ||
| Maybe they were like, look, if we just make this thing drive by them and don't change speeds, they'll have no idea. | ||
| They'll just think we're an asteroid and they'll be psyched that we missed them. | ||
| Like, yeah, yeah, good call, good call. | ||
| And the guy's like, left turn! | ||
| Someone just hits the gas. | ||
| I'm tired. | ||
| It's fucking taking too long. | ||
| What'd you do, Dave? | ||
| What? | ||
| The fucking cops are behind us, Dave! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shit! | |
| God damn it, Dave. | ||
| You're not supposed to just take off. | ||
| I told you. | ||
| 65, you fuck. | ||
| Let's start throwing this weed out the window. | ||
| Why would it be so hard to believe a space rock traveling through space? | ||
| That would be the move, right? | ||
| I mean, if they're so advanced that they can travel through galaxies, they can make the shit look like anything they want it to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Why wouldn't you doll it up? | ||
| Radiation pressure, accelerating force... | ||
| The only thing that I would think though would be... | ||
| There's no air in space, right? | ||
| So it wouldn't be aerodynamics. | ||
| What would it be? | ||
| Momentum? | ||
| No, go down a little bit. | ||
| I think it answers your question. | ||
| If radiation pressure is the accelerating force, then Omomama represents a new class of thin interstellar material. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| It has a different thing that it's using for energy. | ||
| What? | ||
| As to what may have produced this previously unseen material, it could have emerged naturally from the debris of the planet forming disk in a distant solar system going through yet an unknown process. | ||
| They've got a whole other way to make – we went from Toyota Corollas to this thing. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Imagine if that's what we find. | ||
| That's what it does. | ||
| Like a rock, right? | ||
| Rock is not smooth, but it doesn't necessarily need... | ||
| This is where I'm stupid. | ||
| This is one of many places where I'm stupid. | ||
| But it doesn't necessarily need to be aerodynamic, right? | ||
| Because it's not going through air. | ||
| It's going through the vacuum of space. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| So I'm not wrong there. | ||
| It could actually look like a rock. | ||
| The only issue would be getting it into space, right? | ||
| The aerodynamics, assuming that you're shooting it from a planet with an atmosphere, again, should not be talking about this. | ||
| Way too stupid. | ||
| No, let's go. | ||
| That's what life's about. | ||
| If you're launching it from Earth into space, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What if you had it encased in this outer area, sort of like the space shuttle is, but then once you get to a place, you could jettison the outside of it, just like they get rid of those booster rockets. | ||
| Yeah, they fall off. | ||
| They just fall into the fucking land on people while they're fishing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What the hell was that? | ||
| That has to have happened, right? | ||
| Imagine getting killed by a booster rocket flying out of space and hit you in the face. | ||
| Didn't disintegrate. | ||
| But then they could do that. | ||
| They could release the shell, and then they would just have the rock. | ||
| And the rock would move through space, and it didn't matter what shape it was, because it's in the vacuum of space. | ||
| Or just get it up into orbit, like the space station, go and build it in pieces, and then launch it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Phew! | |
| Do you remember when that Commander Chris Hadfield gentleman was on the podcast and he was talking about some kind of magnet that they have that collects subatomic particles out there in the galaxy and that we only know 5% of what the universe is made out of when they're talking about things like dark matter? | ||
| 5%? | ||
| And this guy's a scientist, a real legit astronaut, coming back from six months in space or whatever the fuck he was there for. | ||
| And telling us this, we're like, what? | ||
| We've talked about that. | ||
| You can hang with those guys for a little while, and then you're like, I don't understand what's happening now. | ||
| Well, it's also amazing what we do know. | ||
| Amazing that they can send a guy to space and have him fly around the ISS. Well, talk about what you were saying about why are we here and what are we doing. | ||
| We haven't developed yet something that can go the... | ||
| The speed of light. | ||
| But if we do, then the whole universe is open to us. | ||
| Maybe that's what it is. | ||
| Maybe the struggle of developing all this stuff is to get to a scientific level where we can really go. | ||
| I don't think they think the speed of light is even good enough. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Goddammit, that was my goal! | ||
| I think that like... | ||
| If you wanted to have options available as to what planet you're going to colonize, you're going to have to... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| What if you land on a planet and it's like, hey, it's 74 degrees out. | ||
| Guys, guys, it's all oxygen and nitrogen. | ||
| It's just like Earth. | ||
| Come on out here. | ||
| Come on out here. | ||
| But it's only been like that for 10 years. | ||
| And then its cycle is really fucked up. | ||
| Like 30 years from now, it's going to be a nice age. | ||
| It'll be horrible. | ||
| And then all the people have moved there, and they're going to freeze to death, and there's going to be no food at all, and the planet doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| All our science led us to that. | ||
| I don't even know if we can predict... | ||
| Here's my question. | ||
| Can they accurately predict the atmosphere and the conditions and what the temperature would be if a planet is from a sun? | ||
| Do they have a calculation where they say, oh, this sun is this amount of big, and this planet is this far away... | ||
| So it's definitely going to stay within a certain temperature range for the entire time that the planet... | ||
| Do they know that within a death range? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I would think so. | ||
| Because a death range is only like 40 degrees. | ||
| Yeah, they must. | ||
| Death range is 40 degrees, bro. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You get to 140, that's a wrap. | ||
| Yeah, you're done. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So like 100, you can make it. | ||
| 140, everyone's dead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| You live in a sauna. | ||
| You're going to run out of water. | ||
| I just don't think we're going to make it. | ||
| We're not. | ||
| And we're definitely not figuring it out because we're saying this amount of big... | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| We're not even helping. | ||
| We're confusing the problem. | ||
| But seriously, think about that just as a concept. | ||
| Like, maybe that is it. | ||
| Maybe all this, like, you keep thinking, you know, you talk a lot about all the robots and the things that are moving us forward, but why, but why, but why? | ||
| And I had the cocoon theory before, but maybe that's not it. | ||
| Maybe it's so we can really go. | ||
| Yeah, I've had the cocoon theory for quite a while where I think that we are like some sort of an electronic caterpillar that's building some cocoon and then a butterfly is going to emerge. | ||
| Right? | ||
| As a collective? | ||
| Like we'll all be part of this thing? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, just the innovation and the computers and the AI and our integration with them. | ||
| That eventually it's just going to get smarter and crazier and weirder. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's only a matter of time before they make something that resembles a person. | ||
| It sounds too... | ||
| Science fiction? | ||
| No, it sounds too insular that it would just be for us to stay here on Earth. | ||
| The universe is so vast that there may... | ||
| I think it's more likely... | ||
| That we're going to go out of this. | ||
| That's a very good idea. | ||
| This is the sewer. | ||
| It certainly makes sense. | ||
| It's kind of the sewer. | ||
| Oh, but is it, though? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Well, it's beautiful. | ||
| There's parts that are really nice. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| We have a lovely life. | ||
| Have you ever been to Utah? | ||
| Just look at the stars or look at the beautiful clouds in the sky on a day like today. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Today is lovely. | ||
| You go outside, there's clouds floating around. | ||
| It just gives you the right amount of sun. | ||
| A little bit of contrast. | ||
| It is the best. | ||
| It's lovely. | ||
| How could you say this is a sewer? | ||
| Because there's so many parts that are disgusting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
America! | |
| So many parts are not the best. | ||
| Not so many parts. | ||
| Because we still have... | ||
| This evil, this other stuff that's clawing at each other and knocking each other and it's still filled with danger and murder. | ||
| Not right here. | ||
| Not right here. | ||
| It's in certain spots. | ||
| So this is the other thing that we tend to do because we have 7 billion people on the planet And cameras on all of them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And everybody's got a camera and we're exchanging these stories. | ||
| You're catching stories from an unimaginable number of humans. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| And so even if we're looking at just our country, there's so many people. | ||
| Just LA. So many people. | ||
| It's 20 million people. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| What's really amazing. | ||
| It's really amazing. | ||
| It's not just how far human beings have come over the last, you know, 100, 200, 300 years. | ||
| But what's really amazing is if you just look at the actual numbers of times that people interact with each other, how few of them are violent. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially in a place like America in 2018. | ||
| I think about that on the freeway all the time. | ||
| There's so many people, man. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| And they're all pretty much acting in an orderly fashion to preserve themselves and others. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, it's true. | ||
| Every now and then you have someone that's just crazy, just violates all the rules. | ||
| Just weaving in traffic and driving 150 miles an hour in a residential community. | ||
| Maybe it's just a mutation. | ||
| Maybe that's just a mutation. | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| I think it is in the same way those things exist in like a biological system, right? | ||
| You can get these little diseases, little bugs, these little things that are off, you know, and then you have an immune system that battles the bugs. | ||
| Yeah, like when you see stuff about chimpanzees and there's like everyone's getting along trying to do their thing, there's struggles, but then there's a real mutation. | ||
| Like there's someone that, there's one that kills the rest of them and won't be part of the thing. | ||
| You know, that's what we have. | ||
| We have these kind of like renegade mutations run by evil, which is why we should all go back to church. | ||
| What's interesting is that it's in large groups, right, and all of us together. | ||
| Like, the way we interact with each other is generally non-violent. | ||
| However, these large groups will decide by whatever, you know, whoever's in charge to attack other large groups. | ||
| And this is where the big death comes from, right? | ||
| This is where the real toll comes from. | ||
| In war. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But if you looked at the actual communities of people from one side or the other, like the groups themselves together, how much are they really in conflict with those other people? | ||
| Probably not nearly as much as the people that are in charge would want them to be. | ||
| Which, right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is a very small... | ||
| It's almost like the mutation is in charge. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because, right, you take two groups that are at war and you put them together, they're just hanging out drinking beer together, we're all the same age, they probably have a great time together. | ||
| Their leaders talk them into something crazy. | ||
| The leaders are the mutation. | ||
| That's when things get scary. | ||
| Whether it's the Hitler leader or, you know, whoever is the one that's invading places. | ||
| They're talking people into invading places. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's some slippery justification. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that's where the world gets very strange. | ||
| And I think it's interesting that those people in those groups, you know, all come from all over the world or all over the country, at least. | ||
| All these different places and they're brought together. | ||
| Right, but look how we've progressed. | ||
| There's fewer of those kind of conflicts now than ever before. | ||
| Right, but you and I, and I think a lot of other people would like it to be zero amount, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I don't know if that's ever going to happen, man. | ||
| That's a weird thing to say, because you would like everybody to be in a good place in this world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like many things, this push of good things happening and bad things, positive and negative, and this battle between the two of them is what creates all this momentum and all this movement. | ||
| That's the good and evil. | ||
| We're back to the good and evil, so maybe we should go back to church. | ||
| Look, the priest did some weird stuff, but maybe it's good people in there more than evil people. | ||
| Well, the problem is, with that church in particular, they're still shielding the people that have done terrible things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's just no denying that. | ||
| If you look at the facts, if you look at everything that's come out, there's no denying that. | ||
| It's super unfortunate. | ||
| Because I think the vast majority of the people that are involved in the religion that aren't the people that are pedophiles, I think they're very good people that probably think about it the same way maybe your daughter would like to think about it. | ||
| That it's some place where people can get together and they exchange affection and camaraderie. | ||
| And this acceptance of something higher than them that holds them to a certain standard and wants them to be good people, and that's good for everybody. | ||
| Good for everybody. | ||
| But if it wasn't for all that kid fucking. | ||
| God! | ||
| All that kid fucking just ruined all that. | ||
| It just, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's such a sad, sad thing. | ||
| Google this because I've said this many times and I've never bothered looking it up. | ||
| That the reason why, we can get another bottle of that if you want to get fucked up. | ||
| It's the holidays. | ||
| Okay, it's the holidays. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| A lot of sediment in that. | ||
| What were we just talking about? | ||
| Good and evil and the priests and why they're ruining it all. | ||
| And you said, go get that video. | ||
| Look something up if you haven't looked before. | ||
| A reason why. | ||
| Oh, that's it. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I thought that was gone forever. | ||
| I voted. | ||
| The reason why they forced priests to be celibate. | ||
| Because what I had heard, and this is no scholarly work of my own, I don't remember even reading the article, I think somebody told it to me, that priests were banging too many chicks. | ||
| It might have been Andy Bravo. | ||
| He might have said it in that way. | ||
| Priests were banging too many chicks, man, they made them go celibate. | ||
| I don't think that was it. | ||
| What do you think it is? | ||
| I think it was property. | ||
| I think that when priests own property and if they were married and he died, she would keep the property. | ||
| If there was no woman involved and he owned the property and he couldn't be with a woman and he swore that he was just with Jesus, when he died, the property went to the church. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's, you know, which is not much of, I mean... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| Wow. | ||
| That whole other part of Catholicism is the other thing that bumps me all the time. | ||
| When you go to the Vatican, it's like, wow, this is beautiful, but what? | ||
| Where'd they get all this art? | ||
| Where'd they get all these buildings? | ||
| I mean, the pillaging of riches. | ||
| Fucking billions of dollars worth of shit. | ||
| All stolen from a time where people were starving in the streets. | ||
| I know! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is how powerful religion is. | ||
| This is how powerful this pull is to search for good and to be a part of something. | ||
| Is that in light of those things that you see the wealth. | ||
| It's like going into like a pirate ship and seeing all the shit that they got and then knowing what they do with these children. | ||
| So both those things are, you should just say, fuck this, I'm not going to be a part of this at all. | ||
| But the other part of it is so strong that you actually will kind of say, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm still going to go to Mass on Sunday. | ||
| I think what happens is you think that even if a priest is bad, that the religion is still good. | ||
| The idea is that this is like a bad guy who lost his way. | ||
| These are human beings that are flawed. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of them are drunk too, man. | ||
| Yeah, really drunk. | ||
| I read my grandma's eulogy. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Her name was Josephine, but he kept calling her Geraldine. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| They had to correct him. | ||
| It's Josephine. | ||
| He was saying all these great things about her. | ||
| He didn't know who the fuck she was at all. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And he had those gym blossoms. | ||
| Oh, Jamie brought another bottle of wine. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Savage. | ||
| Savage, Jamie. | ||
| Jamie. | ||
| But I think, you know, you take a guy and you put him in that position where he can't have a companion. | ||
| Like, you're not allowed to have a love. | ||
| You can't have a wife or a husband or whatever. | ||
| You can't have that. | ||
| It's a horrible thing to do. | ||
| You're fighting nature. | ||
| There was a kid that I went to high school with that became a priest. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We all knew he was gay. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| We all knew, like, it was like a thing. | ||
| You knew, like, oh, this is why he's going to be a priest. | ||
| We get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, that's what a lot of people say. | ||
| It's like that the church, the other side of it is that the church doesn't create pedophiles. | ||
| Like, the institution attracts them because they know they'll be safe there. | ||
| Well, it's possible, but it's also possible that so many of them that are active in the church, and I don't know what this guy's story was. | ||
| I barely knew him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that he could have been molested. | ||
| I mean, it's not a small number of kids that were molested. | ||
| It's a very large number. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's large. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And you would never, I mean, who the fuck understands what that would be like to be a young boy, to have that happen to you, and then get groomed and indoctrinated into being a part of this thing that does that to other young boys in the future? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's your whole reality. | ||
| Which has to be what some of them are, and they're all doing this under the blanket of this thing called the church. | ||
| Then when the church finds out about it, the church moves people to all these different various places, and they get these new victims. | ||
| Yeah, so bad. | ||
| And this happens over and over and over again. | ||
| You know, this is one of the things that they were saying about Benedict, about the one who... | ||
| Right, the Pope before Francis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had actively done that. | ||
| He had actively moved all these people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was a part of that. | ||
| Ah, it's so bad. | ||
| It's so bad. | ||
| And it's such a shame. | ||
| What's that, Jamie? | ||
| It really is a shame. | ||
| I did not know this. | ||
| Married Catholic priests. | ||
| There are perhaps 120 in the U.S. already. | ||
| Here's how. | ||
| Whoa, is this a new thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The other article I found said there's about 200. Wow. | ||
| As of 1980, there was a rule change, or an adoption of a rule change that allowed... | ||
| Why does it say, does it say Eastern only? | ||
| Is that what it's saying? | ||
| That was something in the story, the video that was going. | ||
| Yeah, but I just kind of paused it there. | ||
| Why say Eastern Catholic? | ||
| Like East Coast only? | ||
| East Coast? | ||
| Like West Coast, Mexicans are not buying it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
West Side! | |
| We got our own Catholic homes. | ||
| Brooklyn! | ||
| We're not buying your bullshit. | ||
| Brooklyn married in that house. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| 120 Catholic priests married in the United States. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That would be a great start. | ||
| Oh, so you have to be a priest already. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're Episcopalian, and then you're allowed to have a wife and kids if you're Episcopalian, right? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Let them convert to Catholicism. | ||
| So, I mean, look at that right there. | ||
| Catholicism's the only one that doesn't allow them to have sex, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's the only one that's littered with kid fucking. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Just cut the shit. | ||
| We were actually at mass and he was talking about, there was one thing from the gospel that was talking about being married, being with a woman. | ||
| And then he finishes the- Cheers, kind sir. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| Happy holidays. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Happy holidays. | |
| He finishes the sermon, the reading, then he goes into a sermon all about being with a woman, and this is a man that doesn't come close to that. | ||
| This is a man that has no experience. | ||
| It would be so much better for the church if he was a married man with children, and then he could really talk about being in a family. | ||
| Like, who are you? | ||
| You know nothing about what we're dealing with on a daily basis. | ||
| Yeah, I never went to the Catholic Church when I was an adult, but it would be curious to be there, to be like a husband and wife sitting there in this fucking church, listening to this dude who is supposed to be celibate, drone on about how you should live your life and what kind of relationship you should have. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Bitch, you're dressed like a fucking genie. | ||
| Who are you giving advice to? | ||
| You've got a giant scarf on. | ||
| Yeah, you're dressed like a wizard, son. | ||
| This is preposterous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| What's that thing around your shoulders for? | ||
| Why do you dress like that? | ||
| Why are you all in silk? | ||
| Do you have underwear on? | ||
| It's really weird that we let people dress like that. | ||
| Because, like, if you didn't, if he just stood up there and had to be held accountable, like, if the volume of his words were all he had, like, if you just made all priests, and I mean all priests across all religions, If they all had to stand on a flat, regular stage with nothing behind them, and they had to dress like a regular person like you're dressing right now. | ||
| And no pointy hat. | ||
| No pointy hat, no fucking giant, insane artwork behind you. | ||
| Nope, too confusing. | ||
| Yeah, not up on a pedestal. | ||
| All that stuff fucks people up. | ||
| You go there and you see the, like, you've been to Rome, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| St. Peter's Basilica, you see that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you go in there, I mean, you almost can't believe that your eyes are working correctly. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| You're almost like, this can't be something that someone actually made. | ||
| Yeah, this is insane. | ||
| With no machines. | ||
| Right, just their hands and thousands of people. | ||
| If you're in that thing, you're going to be so humbled. | ||
| And so they're going to get away with a lot more shit. | ||
| If you were in some weird conference room... | ||
| At the Holiday Inn. | ||
| Yeah, conference room at the Holiday Inn. | ||
| In a bad tie. | ||
| With little bullshit-ass cups of coffee. | ||
| You know how you get a coffee machine and they have little tiny bullshit-ass cups next to it? | ||
| Little white styrofoam cups. | ||
| With a handle on it, the paper handle that folds out. | ||
| And you're dressed in Joseph A. Bank. | ||
| The ones on the handle are not that bad because they have to be a certain size to have a handle. | ||
| It's the ones that are little white ones, little white styrofoam ones. | ||
| Those are bullshit. | ||
| Yeah, but they would put in the plastic. | ||
| The little triangle ones. | ||
| Nobody's going to buy your fucking connection to God if you're in that place. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You have to sell it. | ||
| They're not just going to buy it. | ||
| But if you're allowed to dress like a wizard, and you stand in front of a golden podium with a giant, huge sculpture of Jesus nailed to a cross behind you, and there's organ music playing, you know, I mean... | ||
| Huge! | ||
| That's your act. | ||
| That's a good act. | ||
| That's an act that's going to... | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| They should make that shit illegal the same way they made advertising booze illegal. | ||
| Man... | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| Look at how pretty that is, though. | ||
| It's gorgeous. | ||
| So pretty. | ||
| Wouldn't it be better if it was just a bunch of belly dancers up there? | ||
| And dudes playing bongo drums and people passing around joints all in that place. | ||
| Just a big ol' cannabis-infused lovin'. | ||
| Wouldn't that be better than this bullshit? | ||
| These are all just grown adults. | ||
| If we can get all those grown adults just passing out weed, singing songs together. | ||
| Well, what was it in New York? | ||
| Was it the limelight? | ||
| It was a church that turned into a club? | ||
| Try to love one another. | ||
| Oh, thousands of people in the church singing together with that? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That's all possible, too. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| Those people that are in those pews, that look like a thousand people, right? | ||
| That's a big crowd. | ||
| Those people that are sitting there, they are kind of high. | ||
| They're checking their watch right now and go, When does this bullshit end? | ||
| The Giants are gonna start in an hour and a half. | ||
| He's fucking enough of this guy droning on. | ||
| He's drunk, Gladys. | ||
| He's fucking drunk. | ||
| There they go, asking us for money again. | ||
| With those gin blossoms all over the face. | ||
| He looks like W.C. Fields. | ||
| This fucking guy's just getting drunk. | ||
| I put shit in the basket. | ||
| Now they're coming out twice with the basket? | ||
| Screw this guy. | ||
| God is gonna hear you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop it. | |
| God is gonna hear you. | ||
| Timmy's gotta go in for his doctor's appointment tonight. | ||
| What if God's gonna hear you? | ||
| But is the value of them having a place to go on that Sunday, even though they hate it, important? | ||
| The Limelight is a gym now? | ||
| Yeah, the Limelight was a... | ||
| Yeah, I saw Fishbone at the Limelight. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| So the Limelight, the dance club place, is now a fitness church? | ||
| Yeah, it was a church. | ||
| I can't tell which one. | ||
| It was a market, too. | ||
| It was a church, then it was a rock club. | ||
| So it doesn't last. | ||
| Then they started selling shit in there. | ||
| Yeah, they should sell that shit. | ||
| Imagine that's your house, Tom Papa. | ||
| That would be... | ||
| Inspire you to get your party rolling. | ||
| Live in a church? | ||
| It's a gym now? | ||
| Dude, I'd work out in that church all day. | ||
| Wouldn't you? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That would be my spot. | ||
| Even if I had a gym at my house, I would definitely go to that gym. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Absolutely. | |
| Just to feel the juice. | ||
| I tell people all the time, I like working out at my studio, but I like going to places too. | ||
| Because when you go to a place, there's a certain amount of juice. | ||
| You're in a new spot. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| A bunch of people around you that you don't know. | ||
| Yeah, you're up, you're out. | ||
| And it's also, as a comic, I think social interaction is one of the least respected ingredients to our weird... | ||
| Sort of stew of things that come together and make a bit. | ||
| You've got to fill the well with those experiences. | ||
| Yeah, you've got to talk to people. | ||
| It's like reading or just being out in the world. | ||
| It's important. | ||
| Yeah, it's just like all those things. | ||
| Reading is one thing you need to do. | ||
| But I think interacting with people is just goddamn gigantic. | ||
| So important. | ||
| I do this... | ||
| I do a monologue each week on Out in America on Live From Here, which is the new Prairie Home Companion. | ||
| And... | ||
| Are you allowed to say that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the new Prairie Home. | ||
| Did anybody else call you that, or did you decide to call yourself that? | ||
| What? | ||
| The new Prairie Home Companion. | ||
| It was Prairie Home. | ||
| So you're actually doing this thing? | ||
| When I first got hired, it was Prairie Home. | ||
| And then they changed it when Garrison Keillor got in trouble. | ||
| He got in a kerfuffle? | ||
| And now it's called Live From Here. | ||
| He had a kerfuffle. | ||
| I was confused. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I do a monologue each week called Out in America. | ||
| How long have you been doing this? | ||
| About a year. | ||
| You don't tell me? | ||
| It's NPR. I figured you would know. | ||
| All things considered, Terry Gross. | ||
| I follow all the shit you do. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| How do you follow all the shit I do? | ||
| I'm only kidding. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| But my point is, I do this monologue called Out in America, and it's me... | ||
| Look at you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sexy. | |
| It's me... | ||
| Glasses. | ||
| Shining a light on all the good people in America, right? | ||
| I do it every week on NPR. Yeah. | ||
| Wear that suit like you own it. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| But the reason I bring it up is not to plug it, but to say it made me, when I'm out on the road, talk to people. | ||
| I would get in the car and throw my headphones on. | ||
| I wouldn't talk to people on flights. | ||
| I didn't talk to the person driving, stay in my room, do my shit as a comic. | ||
| Just go and you're isolated. | ||
| And because I have to write this monologue each week, I need inspiration. | ||
| I really want to shine a light on the good people out in the country. | ||
| I started talking to everyone. | ||
| I don't take my headphones out. | ||
| I talk to the driver. | ||
| I talk to the people next to me if they want to talk. | ||
| And it is – talk about filling the well for your comedic toolbox. | ||
| It's the greatest thing in the world. | ||
| There's billions of people. | ||
| They all are unique. | ||
| They all have a story to tell. | ||
| It's foolish as a comedian not to talk to these people. | ||
| Let's be harsh here. | ||
| They don't all. | ||
| Have a story to tell. | ||
| Some of them, they might have a story to tell, but you don't want to hear it. | ||
| Well, some are bad stories. | ||
| Some are disgusting. | ||
| Boring-ass fucking story. | ||
| You can't tell people. | ||
| Not all of them end up in the monologue. | ||
| Everyone has a story. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| You're going to get a lot of stories. | ||
| They're going to be coming your way. | ||
| They do, though. | ||
| I mean, honestly, even like the biggest slug you'll find. | ||
| You talk to them about their family, about their childhood, about where they grew up. | ||
| There is a story there. | ||
| Here's a way to look at it. | ||
| You take the biggest fucking loser that ever existed on planet Earth, and if you discover him on Mars, it's the biggest story in human history. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Holy cow! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| Barney! | ||
| Barney! | ||
| If you find some guy wearing a donkey mask, jerking off with a bathrobe on, on Mars, it would be like the most important thing that's ever happened. | ||
| Yeah, it's on the CNN on Mars. | ||
| People would freak the fuck out. | ||
| They'd be like, this can't be real. | ||
| I can't believe it. | ||
| Hey, come here, get closer, I'll show you I'm real. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Old man with a donkey mask on, beaten off. | |
| But if you found an old man with a donkey mask beaten off in Venice, I'm still impressed. | ||
| A donkey mask? | ||
| If I said, Tom Papa, I want you to bet your life savings, do you say yes or no, there is currently a man with a donkey mask on, wearing a bathrobe, jerking off in Venice? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You might want to lean yes. | ||
| I mean, you might... | ||
| If they're bringing it to you, I'd be super suspicious. | ||
| I'd be like, that's your question? | ||
| It's definitely a favorite, not an underdog on that. | ||
| My question is, do you think that it ever happened? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everything you can think of has happened. | ||
| I'm 100% confident that someone has jerked off with a donkey mask on. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Like a hotel bathrobe. | ||
| Especially in Venice. | ||
| It's all about masks. | ||
| In Venice. | ||
| I'm 100% confident that I can say historically... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Everything you can think of has happened. | ||
| Venice Beach, not Venice, Italy, right? | ||
| Venice Beach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right, right, right. | |
| No, Venice Beach. | ||
| Oh, Venice Beach. | ||
| We never know, man. | ||
| I thought you were talking Italy with all the... | ||
| Right? | ||
| With all the Catholic stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And plus the water's getting high and people panic. | ||
| Can I ask you guys a question? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Back to way in the beginning of the podcast when I was talking about wine and how I'm trying to learn about it and stuff. | ||
| The one thing I don't know about wine is when I do drink it, I never feel that drunk. | ||
| And we've had a bottle and a half now. | ||
| Do I seem drunk? | ||
| Yeah, you seem pretty fucked up. | ||
| Don't tell me anything you don't want to tell me. | ||
| Do I seem that different from before? | ||
| I mean, you're also fucked up too, but... | ||
| No, you seem fine. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I always get home and I'm like, I have to say I kept my shit together pretty good. | ||
| And then I wake up the next morning like, no, I shouldn't have done that. | ||
| Well, sometimes you'll hear yourself like on a podcast if you get really lit. | ||
| Like when we did that Sober October podcast, I saw one of the clips. | ||
| I didn't realize how drunk we were until I saw the clip. | ||
| I was like, oh my God, we were blasted. | ||
| We were in orbit. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| That's funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We were in orbit. | |
| I was listening to myself talk. | ||
| I was like, you're so hammered. | ||
| That's so stupid. | ||
| Because I want to be like a gentleman that can drink and hold his alcohol and be like... | ||
| Sir, if that is your goal, you have achieved it. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| Happy holidays. | ||
| You're certainly a gentleman. | ||
| Because you don't seem... | ||
| And you did more than I did. | ||
| Did I really? | ||
| And you seem exactly the same as when we started. | ||
| I think you're projecting. | ||
| There was one point after you smoked a lot, you were going like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the weed. | |
| That's what I did more than you. | ||
| I could tell it was a bit of a body high. | ||
| Well, that weed is strong as fuck. | ||
| I think there's benefit to it. | ||
| I don't think you should do everything all the time, but I think there's benefit. | ||
| I don't think you should exercise all the time either. | ||
| I'll tell you this. | ||
| When I was flying back from New York yesterday and knew we had this, when I was on the flight, I was thinking, it would be so nice to bring a bottle of wine, just chill with the guys, and that would be so happy. | ||
| And now that we're in that moment? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| So happy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| So happy. | ||
| It's a good place. | ||
| I'm worried about Jamie's hips. | ||
| Jamie's hips? | ||
| Still bugging you? | ||
| No, the Sew Right actually helped a lot. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Just laying on it and breathing and taking time. | ||
| Yeah, you know, I have not used that yet. | ||
| I bought two of them. | ||
| I bought one for the house and one for the gym. | ||
| But it's called a Sew Right, right? | ||
| For your so-ass muscle. | ||
| So you lay on it and have it, like, massage your inner... | ||
| Gut area. | ||
| It works? | ||
| Well, apparently it's like a muscle that gets knotted up on people. | ||
| I definitely had it get knotted up on me when I was running a little too often. | ||
| I was running like four or five days a week. | ||
| It was starting to knot up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's like a foam roller, but if you could have an elbow on that foam roller. | ||
| And you lay on it on your back. | ||
| You can put a couple different spots, too. | ||
| They have a spot on your shoulders and the front, but I don't know, whatever, my pelvis area. | ||
| Yeah, that looks beastly. | ||
| But it helped, right? | ||
| You feel good. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| The human body's all manipulable. | ||
| It's malleable. | ||
| That's why yoga's so good. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Stretching in general. | ||
| Like all that shit. | ||
| So good. | ||
| But it's just so weird how deep tissue massage and all that stuff works. | ||
| And how your body's like pliable. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Break stuff loose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Loosen things up. | ||
| And someone who's really good at it, if you get a gal who knows how to use them elbows, they need to fucking get in there and fuck you up, man. | ||
| Woo! | ||
| I started running with my dog. | ||
| With my lab. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I run on the road and on the sidewalk. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Do you feel like... | ||
| I feel guilty sometimes that it's got its little paws out, just running on the road. | ||
| Is it hot? | ||
| Are you worried about? | ||
| Like the hurt? | ||
| No, it's the hardness of it. | ||
| Like streets? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I never thought about that. | ||
| She doesn't seem unhappy. | ||
| She seems like she's having a blast. | ||
| Well, it's definitely not as good as running in the dirt. | ||
| It's just not. | ||
| I mean, probably for us either. | ||
| No, it's definitely not. | ||
| It's definitely not. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| There's not as much give. | ||
| Whenever I see people running in the cities, I go, I get it. | ||
| You want to exercise. | ||
| You decided to make this whole world your gym. | ||
| That's a weird thing. | ||
| I saw some dude on Wilshire the other day. | ||
| He was crossing Wilshire. | ||
| Just no shirt on, t-shirt, air buds, just one of those dudes is doing this at the fucking... | ||
| Taking his pulse? | ||
| Yeah, and he just runs across as soon as the light turns green. | ||
| He's just using the street... | ||
| This is like 4.30 in the afternoon to rush hour, and he's using this place as his gym. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's why I like running, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's fucking weird. | |
| That's why I like running, because as soon as you go out, you're doing it. | ||
| And he had a nice body too. | ||
| He wanted to let bitches know. | ||
| He did. | ||
| He was slim and fit. | ||
| I don't get the... | ||
| That's what it was about probably more than anything. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Through Wilshire? | ||
| A little peacock move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No shirt on. | ||
| Peacocking. | ||
| Just running around. | ||
| Do you do yoga with your shirt off or on? | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Off, bitch. | ||
| Off? | ||
| Off. | ||
| With all the gals there? | ||
| They don't give a fuck, dude. | ||
| They're suffering. | ||
| Everyone's suffering. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everyone's suffering. | ||
| I always keep my shirt on because I always feel like, as a man, I'm not supposed to be there, so it should just make it less conspicuous. | ||
| You feel like, as a man, you're not supposed to be there? | ||
| Even after the remarks you heard by Bikram, I'm confused. | ||
| Well, the smart man is supposed to be there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One drop of your sperm. | |
| They don't care, man. | ||
| Look, it's just too fucking hot. | ||
| It's too hot. | ||
| You don't want to have a shirt on. | ||
| You have that wet, fucking hot thing smothering you. | ||
| I don't do the big one. | ||
| I do the regular. | ||
| I don't do the hot, hot one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to see you in a jog bra, bro. | |
| Why can't a man wear something that just like a sweatband for your tits? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Cover it. | ||
| Titsweats. | ||
| Call it titsweats. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, I'm not saying I want a bra. | ||
| Why is it okay? | ||
| It's not okay for a guy to wear a bracelet. | ||
| Well, it kind of is. | ||
| Some bracelets. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's okay for you to wear one of them tennis wrist things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like a real band? | ||
| Yeah, those headbands for your wrists. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those wrist pants. | |
| Those ones, red, white, and blue. | ||
| Remember those? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, I used to wear those when I was a kid. | |
| They would match the one on your head. | ||
| I thought I was the coolest fucking dude on earth. | ||
| I had those wristbands with red, white, and blue on them. | ||
| Like, that's right. | ||
| Tube socks pull high, up to the knee. | ||
| Fuck yeah, all the way up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What were those things called? | ||
| What did you call those? | ||
| Wristbands. | ||
| Like tennis wristbands? | ||
| Yeah, the headband and the wristband. | ||
| And they'd match. | ||
| Yeah, I probably had a headband, too. | ||
| I had one that was pretty badass. | ||
| You know what was a big... | ||
| It wasn't two, though. | ||
| You just go the one. | ||
| You just go on the left. | ||
| That was the cool move. | ||
| There was a time... | ||
| I don't remember what the time was, but there was a time when... | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| Sock tower. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Yeah, red, white, and blue, baby. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sock tower. | |
| Two pieces large. | ||
| That's just the company selling it, I think. | ||
| Yo, son. | ||
| We're going to order those as soon as we get off the show. | ||
| I'm going to wear... | ||
| Next time Tom Pop and I do a podcast, I'm wearing them red, white, and blue wristbands. | ||
| Kids. | ||
| That'd be awesome. | ||
| I literally had that. | ||
| Fresh... | ||
| Very fresh. | ||
| It felt cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It felt real cool. | ||
| Why aren't those popular anymore? | ||
| What was I going to say, though? | ||
| I was going to say something. | ||
| Wristband. | ||
| Oh, goddammit. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| Marijuana combination. | ||
| What? | ||
| Being allowed to wear them. | ||
| Happened for a guy. | ||
| Working out. | ||
| Sweat. | ||
| Boobs. | ||
| Throwing a lot of information my way. | ||
| These are all words that you were saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why is it okay for a man to walk around with no shirt on and women can't? | ||
| Was that what you were gonna say? | ||
| Well, that's obvious. | ||
| Women should be able to. | ||
| They definitely can. | ||
| I've talked about this before, I think. | ||
| I said I wouldn't recommend it to a friend. | ||
| I'd be like, don't go out there with your tits hanging out. | ||
| If a friend tried to ask me if they think they should exercise that right to freedom, I'd be like, I don't want to get harassed. | ||
| You don't want to get harassed. | ||
| Would you wear bikini underwear and walk through a gay neighborhood? | ||
| On Saturday night at 10.30pm when the ecstasy just kicked in. | ||
| You're a piece of meat. | ||
| How good do you think you'd feel walking through a super-duper gay neighborhood with little bikini briefs on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Across in San Vicente and Santa Monica. | ||
| For whatever reason, you obviously shave your chest. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| Maybe your chest is smooth as baby butt, but your back has hair on it. | ||
| It's funny because you're setting it up as a predatory kind of scenario, but all I'm thinking is, would they think I was okay? | ||
| Would they like me? | ||
| Would they like me? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think they'd hit on me? | |
| Would you be pumped or disgusted? | ||
| No, you'd be... | ||
| You don't want the hassle. | ||
| That's what I tell my... | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| I understand that there's like a cool movement now and it's a time where women should be able to go out there and Dress the way you want to dress. | ||
| It's not their problem. | ||
| It's the guy's problem. | ||
| Let's correct the guys rather than us. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| But there's a lot of guys that haven't been corrected yet who are going to hassle you and follow you in the parking lot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Those guys aren't woke. | ||
| Once everyone's all woke, it'll be great. | ||
| Woke is a dangerous word to use. | ||
| I feel like people are going to mock it in the future. | ||
| Woke? | ||
| Woke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I feel like using woke now, like unironically, is super slippery. | ||
| I see a trap coming. | ||
| You do? | ||
| The jujitsu practitioner in me is like, I don't like this move. | ||
| I know where this leads. | ||
| You're totally right. | ||
| This is how I feel. | ||
| I see that woke thing, I'm like, what are you woke? | ||
| What the fuck does that even mean? | ||
| You woke up? | ||
| You woke up? | ||
| What are you, 12? | ||
| Well, it comes from my 16-year-old, so yeah. | ||
| Yeah, these kids today. | ||
| But, what does woke mean? | ||
| It means you're Rain is open. | ||
| You're open to stuff. | ||
| The problem is there's no real quantification. | ||
| There's no real... | ||
| There's no test you take to show that if you're woke. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, if you want to be a mathematician, you have to fucking show that you know how to do math. | ||
| The professors, they check your work. | ||
| Like, you get through, like, yes, congratulations, Tom Papa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| You are a mathematician. | ||
| You have a PhD in mathematics. | ||
| It says so right here on the paper. | ||
| And you're like, God damn it, I'm going to put that shit on my wall so you understand. | ||
| I know how this stuff works. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But wokeness? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anybody can claim to be a master of wokeness. | ||
| It's like Kung Fu without fighting. | ||
| It's very dangerous. | ||
| No one's defined what's woke and what's preposterous. | ||
| No one's defined what's just not racist and not sexist and not homophobic, but open-minded and aware of the failings and the misgivings of all sides, all of us, and with no bias. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Is that woke? | ||
| Because it doesn't seem like it is. | ||
| Isn't that woke? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think you just described what I thought it was. | ||
| I would like that, but too many people could jump in. | ||
| There's no real clear understanding of what makes and constitutes someone being woke. | ||
| Yeah, how many of those boxes do you have to check? | ||
| Where does it stop? | ||
| Tom Papa had a woke academy, and you took these people through. | ||
| It would just be, do you like bread or not like bread? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Claiming wokeness is super slippery. | ||
| What's this, Jamie? | ||
| 1962 New York Times Magazine article about being woke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| This is crazy! | ||
| If you're woke, you dig it. | ||
| Look, if you're woke, you dig it. | ||
| That's the perfect definition right there. | ||
| If you're woke, you dig it. | ||
| That is insane. | ||
| That was my fox, man, and you were copying my taste. | ||
| And grit, don't jump salty on me. | ||
| Whoa, look how they talked back then. | ||
| They were trying to talk people into talking in a way that made them seem more interesting. | ||
| I'm going to say it the way I would say it if I lived back then. | ||
| Make it bigger so I can see it. | ||
| You be the guy on the left. | ||
| No, scroll so we can read what they were saying. | ||
| His comments. | ||
| What he's saying up top. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was my fox, man. | |
| And you were copying my taste and grit. | ||
| And you were copying my taste and grit. | ||
| So how would you say that now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| That was my fox, man. | ||
| Maybe it's girl. | ||
| And you were copying my taste and grit. | ||
| Of course it's girl. | ||
| That's my girl! | ||
| That's what he's saying. | ||
| No, that's what they said. | ||
| Oh, what words would you use today? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Hey, dude. | ||
| The fuck are you doing with my girlfriend, dickhead? | ||
| And he said, don't jump salty on me. | ||
| I would say, hey, we're cool. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| Stop being such a bitch. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| It's all good. | ||
| Yeah, and then it would be like, what? | ||
| Someone's a bitch? | ||
| And then, next thing you know, people would be hitting each other. | ||
| That's the darkness in all men. | ||
| Who are these two gentlemen to the right and to the left? | ||
| It says Noah Webster. | ||
| I think that might be like Webster's Dictionary. | ||
| And who's the other guy? | ||
| Peter what? | ||
| I can't see. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks a little squirrely. | |
| The letters are all blurred, right? | ||
| I love that. | ||
| But I love that, if you're woke, you dig it. | ||
| Yeah, if you're woke, you dig it. | ||
| That sums it up, man. | ||
| If you're woke, you dig it. | ||
| How'd you find this, Jamie? | ||
| Go back to that. | ||
| I typed in, it's like, know your meme. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| So the meme of the word woke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Stay woke. | ||
| Look at that little image, though. | ||
| Scroll back up so we can see that again. | ||
| That's so strange. | ||
| Like, imagine if that was contemporary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, if that was your word. | ||
| Like, imagine if hipsters all of a sudden started wearing tails to their jackets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Have they just decided this is the next level? | ||
| We're going to wear bow ties and those tails. | ||
| It wouldn't be surprising because that's all about just I'm doing what you guys don't do. | ||
| So I'm going tails. | ||
| What a weird look though. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is so weird. | ||
| That's a look that like, okay, so like the guy in the center with the hat on. | ||
| Those two guys, both the guys in the center. | ||
| Those guys will fly today. | ||
| Oh, totally. | ||
| The guy on the left that looks like he's dressed like he's... | ||
| That looks like me on the road. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, but he looks like he's in a Quentin Tarantino movie or something, right? | ||
| Looks like he's a reservoir dog. | ||
| That's totally normal, right? | ||
| He's in the Matrix. | ||
| Yeah, black suit, tie, fedora. | ||
| That guy could go to any restaurant, anywhere, and no one would even bat an eye. | ||
| They'd go, oh, sir, can I help you? | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Walk right in. | ||
| Go back to that image. | ||
| The guy next to him. | ||
| But those two guys on the ends, like, what in the fuck are they? | ||
| He's got a coat with tails. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And those pants that are like flat across your crotch where it looks like you have no privates. | ||
| Here's a good way to look at it. | ||
| Imagine if you're dating a gal and her parents are going to come over. | ||
| And you're like, you're really going to love my dad. | ||
| He's an amazing guy. | ||
| He's real old school. | ||
| Dad comes over dressed like that with coattails. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you start feeling like you're in that movie Get Out. | ||
| He's got a handlebar mustache. | ||
| He's got tails. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Weird pants with the going to funny shoes. | ||
| Did you see Get Out? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I finally watched it during Sober October. | ||
| Oh, you did? | ||
| It was fucking fantastic. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's what you would be thinking. | ||
| If that guy was dressed like that, that the daughter was going to lead you to something and you have to run for your life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it is weird how that suit has lasted a long time. | ||
| Well, this was 1960, so I'm assuming that it was mocking the style of old. | ||
| So by the time 1960 rolled around, the guys in the middle were dressed contemporary. | ||
| But the guys in the end, they're making fun of people the way they used to dress, kind of in a way. | ||
| Or at least that's what represents those people. | ||
| Yeah, it just defines their time. | ||
| That guy was probably around the 1800s. | ||
| So whoever those other guys are... | ||
| Do you know who those guys are? | ||
| I believe Noah Webster. | ||
| From the Webster Dictionary. | ||
| That's why he's got the pen and he's scratching his head as that guy's putting out his slang. | ||
| So his slang is making Webster go, what the fuck? | ||
| That's not how you really say it. | ||
| So it'd be like the Urban Dictionary. | ||
| Jamie and I sometimes get confused. | ||
| We have to pull up the Urban Dictionary and find out what the real word of a word means. | ||
| So let's pull up woke as it's represented today. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Woke. | ||
| No disrespect, no cultural appropriation intended. | ||
| The fact that it was invented actually in the 60s is really weird. | ||
| It's just making a comeback. | ||
| I was just looking around when I typed in what is woke to see if there's anything interesting. | ||
| If you dig it, you woke. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Aware, knowledgeable about your community and the world, with the willingness to access and critique systems of oppression. | ||
| The last part is a little squirrely. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Yes, I mean, for sure, if it really is a system of oppression. | ||
| But how do we decide what's a system of oppression and what is weird human behavior that represents the way men and women interact with each other on a grand scale? | ||
| I mean, that's just like... | ||
| There are some legitimate systems of oppression, right? | ||
| Yeah, for real. | ||
| It's like, figure out which one it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But putting that in, like, that's what woke is? | ||
| How do you define what the systems of oppression... | ||
| Like, where does the line get drawn, right? | ||
| Is the line... | ||
| Why do women have certain jobs? | ||
| Why do men have certain jobs? | ||
| How much of that is because of influence? | ||
| How much of that is because of their choices? | ||
| How much of that is just because of natural proclivities towards certain things? | ||
| Well, then you're talking about people that are coming after the hierarchy. | ||
| And if they're coming after the hierarchy, who's to say that those people aren't part of the problem? | ||
| I love Jordan Peterson, the way he's just like, hammers, just, well then what are you saying? | ||
| Then who are you? | ||
| You're buying into the hierarchy! | ||
| I just love like the exasperation in his voice. | ||
| No, but it's true. | ||
| It's like then... | ||
| It is true. | ||
| That woke definition was like, oh, I'm with you. | ||
| This is all about being nice and kind. | ||
| And then at the end, it's about attacking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Well, here's the crazy thing is the end part about attacking is where it gets weird because... | ||
| Jordan Peterson is a guy who gets regularly attacked and misrepresented. | ||
| Especially in terms of that he's somehow or another a racist because some racists like him. | ||
| I've heard that argument. | ||
| It's a crazy argument. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| He's not a racist by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| He believes in individuals. | ||
| He's more Ayn Rand than anything. | ||
| I never say that right. | ||
| I know her name's Ayn Rand, but I would say Ayn Rand. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I have a natural instinct to fuck it up. | ||
| But it really is like his thing is... | ||
| It's like the power of the individual and responsibility in doing your thing. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And he's under attack, of course, during this time. | ||
| Of course, he's under attack. | ||
| But he's also under celebration. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's under... | ||
| I mean, he's been celebrated as well as attack, but much more celebrated. | ||
| He's under celebration more than he's under attack. | ||
| It's nice to hear that viewpoint articulated in such a clear, concise way. | ||
| He's a genuine sweetheart of a guy, too. | ||
| I mean, I think if people knew him, I think, you know, part of the thing is... | ||
| Some of his views are very powerful and polarizing to some folks who have a specific idea of how things are and what things should be and what represents transphobia, what represents sexism. | ||
| These are all fascinating discussions as long as everybody's just being rational and being honest about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's good. | ||
| It's moving. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's moving the discussion forward. | ||
| It's like you should hear all sides and you should hear – I mean what he's saying is in a lot of ways is like very true and very real and it's like – But the presentation of it in these times, it's like – he's very brave because he knows that anything he says is going to be a shitstorm in response. | ||
| Well, he's very brave in that respect, but he's also very brave in that he's done a tremendous amount of research on all these different subjects he's talking about. | ||
| And when he talks about something from a scientific perspective, he's not talking about it because it aligns with his beliefs. | ||
| And he will, in fact, highlight things that don't align with his beliefs and show that he has a hole in some of his thinking. | ||
| He'll pause in mid-sentence and go, well, I guess I'm wrong then. | ||
| He'll say things like that. | ||
| He has 100% intellectual honesty. | ||
| He's just – he's not scared to take on this system of the way people think and behave. | ||
| And this system works both for really progressive, open-minded people that support most of the things that you and I probably support. | ||
| And it also – the system is also in place for people that have more stringent, conservative viewpoints. | ||
| And we have to look at everybody honestly. | ||
| If you want to debate whether someone's opinions are one thing or the other – Absolutely. | ||
| I'm with you, 100%. | ||
| The problem is when you start calling someone a racist, and calling someone a racist because you think that racists like him, or calling someone a sexist because you think that sexists like him, or because he says things that you don't agree with, if you don't agree with them and you just dismiss them as this really shallow, sexist opinion, the problem is other people are going to read what you're saying, they're going to look into it, and it's going to seem silly. | ||
| Because the guy has... | ||
| Volumes and volumes and volumes that you could read. | ||
| And he has books. | ||
| He has all these different lectures where he discusses these things. | ||
| Podcasts where he discusses these things. | ||
| In really complex and well thought out ways. | ||
| You can't say he's racist. | ||
| And what's unfortunate is that he presents this stuff... | ||
| We should then, our responsibility is to deal with the stuff. | ||
| Deal with the ideas. | ||
| Not, what does it matter who he is, how he talks, what he is, what you think. | ||
| And who cares? | ||
| But the problem is if you call him one. | ||
| The idea is what we should all then, oh thank you, take it whether you like him or not. | ||
| Take it and then wrestle that idea and move it forward. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| But we also have to be aware that there's a real problem in calling someone a monster who's not a monster. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because then when real monsters come along, you already use that word up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You have to be careful, because there's real racists in the world. | ||
| There's real bad people. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So calling someone a bad person just because you don't agree with them, you fall into a very slippery ideological trap, and a lot of times people do it just to get attention. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They want to throw their hat into the ring. | ||
| They want their say. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They want to get it out. | ||
| They want to make an impact. | ||
| They want that love. | ||
| Yeah, they want to be part of that. | ||
| They want to be part of the discussion, and they might have very strong beliefs that they think are correct, but I guarantee if those strong beliefs are that Jordan is a racist, you don't know him well. | ||
| There's no way you could. | ||
| And there's no way you're really familiar with a lot of the things that he says about race. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he doesn't say anything racist. | ||
| He talks in terms of, I mean, he always emphasizes individuals as being the most important thing. | ||
| That's that Ayn Rand thing. | ||
| It's not about that. | ||
| It's about the person. | ||
| You. | ||
| Responsible for you, doing you. | ||
| Despite whatever comes at you, because everything's always going to come at you. | ||
| And it's not a denial of racism. | ||
| Racism is fucking horrible. | ||
| But what it is, is it's saying that we can all figure out a better way to navigate this than the shitty way that racists and bad people have done in the past. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what was kind of racist? | ||
| I wanted to put African Americans in my Christmas village. | ||
| Couldn't. | ||
| And you go online and try and look up African American figurines for whatever. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| They haven't... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| Talk about not yet woke. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| There are prisoners. | ||
| There's prisoners. | ||
| There's workers. | ||
| There's not a lot of just regular families. | ||
| There's definitely a lot more of white people. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's guess this. | ||
| Let's guess this before we look it up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because this might be one of them untapped things that people forgot to get outraged about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is it possible that you can buy a ceramic slave? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Well, through a store, maybe not. | ||
| On the internet? | ||
| eBay, for sure. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| You know how much stuff was put out into the culture of alfalfa kind of representations of kids and slave children? | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I mean, I went through my grandmother's keepsakes at one point. | ||
| Like a shoebox of stuff. | ||
| And she just had a postcard from her friend. | ||
| It was two black kids eating watermelons. | ||
| And I was like, Grandma, what the hell is this? | ||
| I was like, you know, 15. She's like, oh, it's just a joke. | ||
| But she wasn't... | ||
| I only bring it up because that was circulated. | ||
| That was being pumped out all the time in the culture. | ||
| So there's definitely stuff you can get secondhand on eBay. | ||
| Jamie's got a big smile on his face. | ||
| This could be a real problem. | ||
| I've got a lot of different slave stuff, like Roman slaves and slaves that like... | ||
| As long as they're white slaves, we're good. | ||
| Show me some Roman slaves that are dressed like they were in that Gladiator movie. | ||
| Roman slaves. | ||
| That Gladiator movie. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He was a slave. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had a fight. | ||
| I got some here. | ||
| Okay, so this is non... | ||
| It's not American. | ||
| So all those slaves are like... | ||
| Isn't that interesting? | ||
| It can't be like... | ||
| It's got to be like, I didn't do it. | ||
| I didn't fucking put them guys... | ||
| None of my people made them people slaves. | ||
| Fuck that, bro. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like you have to have Middle Eastern, you know, ancient. | ||
| It starts getting a little squirrely. | ||
| 100 BC. Oh. | ||
| Rowers. | ||
| But those are white people. | ||
| They're gray 3D printed. | ||
| They haven't been painted. | ||
| They look like Henry Fonda. | ||
| They're up to the person who buys them, you know, to make them as accurate as they... | ||
| Right. | ||
| They look like Henry Fon or Kirk Douglas. | ||
| They got some white-ass features, though. | ||
| White hair. | ||
| They got white people hair. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Just put up racist dolls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure they'll come up. | |
| This seems like an easy search. | ||
| Don't get on the fucking list, Jeremy. | ||
| Let's just end this. | ||
| I'm trying to stumble across it instead of actually seeking it out. | ||
| Good call, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good call. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| You just don't want certain things typed in. | ||
| No, exactly. | ||
| You know, it's like that Alexa thing. | ||
| Do you have an Alexa at home? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Alexa's listening right now. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That bitch. | ||
| My friend told me, like, you really should take that off. | ||
| And I'm like, why? | ||
| I'm like, it's only when I talk. | ||
| She's like, no, they listen all the time. | ||
| There was another murder case. | ||
| And they confiscated the Alexa because they know the Alexa will have information from the last four days up to the murder. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| But it still plays my music, so I'm keeping it. | ||
| You don't care. | ||
| You're not killing anybody. | ||
| So this is, what is this, a doll that you could make a slave? | ||
| Yeah, it's like, it's not Lego, sorry, Playmobil or something. | ||
| Oh, so a bullshit Lego ripoff. | ||
| He's got Lego hands. | ||
| Chain around his neck. | ||
| I'd be mad if I bought that. | ||
| I thought it was a Lego. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| Like, even if it was really cool, if you were a kid, your parents, like you said, I want Legos, and your parents brought you that. | ||
| You're like, bitch, this is not Legos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is some wack ass. | ||
| They're supposed to represent a pirate who was formerly a slave in a historical context. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's hilarious! | |
| It's easier to write that sentence than to make a new Lego. | ||
| He was a former slave in a historical context. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Represent a pirate who was a former slave in a historical context. | ||
| That means he escaped... | ||
| I know, but that's a weird way to put it, isn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| That's not funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is so ridiculous. | |
| Racist Toy Instructions? | ||
| That's the news title. | ||
| For the question mark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those fucking misleading news titles. | |
| Racist Toy Instructions? | ||
| Tune in after the break. | ||
| They made them fairly light. | ||
| Notice how conservative they were? | ||
| You know? | ||
| They didn't make them super dark. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even they knew that we can't write this one off. | ||
| We can make him kind of brownish. | ||
| That guy looked like he had a tan. | ||
| He looked like he was a Spaniard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like Benigo Montoya. | ||
| You killed my father. | ||
| Prepare to die. | ||
| That's what he looked like. | ||
| He looked like a Spaniard on a holiday where he caught a nice tan. | ||
| Are you saying even the racist toy maker was like, no, dude. | ||
| Don't go too dark. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I'm saying the racist toy maker was like, you know what, we just gotta play it safe. | ||
| Go with this color. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shoot for Guatemala. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's all I'm looking for. | ||
| Do you go to Mass on Christmas? | ||
| No. | ||
| No mass at all? | ||
| I go to Willy Wonka's Golden Chocolate Factory. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| No, it's all nonsense, man. | ||
| Why would I do that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm just asking. | ||
| Tradition? | ||
| Because you grew up that way? | ||
| No, I never grew up that way. | ||
| You didn't? | ||
| You didn't have church when you were a kid? | ||
| Yeah, we did, but it was for a very short amount of time. | ||
| To say I grew up that way would be hard because I was out by the time I was out of first grade. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They were talking about putting me back in for second grade, but we moved from New Jersey to San Francisco. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| And we didn't find a Catholic school. | ||
| You know, Catholic schools cost money, too, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Went to public school after that. | ||
| But I was just done. | ||
| I hated it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was in fear of those fucking crazy people. | ||
| And your parents didn't take you to church or make you go to church? | ||
| They did a little bit. | ||
| I think the idea was back then that if you had kids, you wanted your kids to go to Catholic school. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's a lot of people that did that in that neighborhood when I was little. | ||
| It was just a normal thing you did. | ||
| And they were more strict. | ||
| And, dude, one thing that was for sure, though, I had a conversation with my mom about it once. | ||
| She was like, you know, your grades were way better when you went into your Catholic school. | ||
| And I was like, yeah, because I was fucking terrified to get them wrong. | ||
| They beat the shit out of you. | ||
| I don't want to live like that. | ||
| They never beat me, but they definitely threatened me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they threatened to make me sit on a nail. | ||
| You're going to have to sit on a nail in the closet and stay here all night. | ||
| I hope you brought your blanket. | ||
| They look really mean. | ||
| When you're a little six-year-old kid, that's fucked up. | ||
| It's just a weird feeling to be stuck with these people for nine months. | ||
| Also, for me, it's like, My parents were splitting up at the time, so it was very confusing. | ||
| And then I wanted things to have order to them, so I wanted God to make sense. | ||
| I remember annoying people with that. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah, I'm like six years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| I'd annoy people talking about what God wants. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| God says this. | ||
| God wants that. | ||
| I would say that when I was six years old. | ||
| Because I was a little kid who was dealing with my parents splitting up, and there didn't seem to be any order in the world. | ||
| And I was very nervous. | ||
| So when I went to Catholic school, when I first got there, I was happy that I was going to go to Catholic school. | ||
| But then as I experienced it, at six years old, I started going, this is ridiculous. | ||
| This doesn't make any sense. | ||
| I'm like, first of all, these people are so mean. | ||
| They're obviously being mean and nasty. | ||
| They're not comforting and loving. | ||
| And I was thinking as a six-year-old, comparing them to the way my grandma was or my mother was. | ||
| I was like, these ladies are nasty. | ||
| Why are they being so mean? | ||
| And I'm like, they don't represent God. | ||
| And I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| Wow, it's six. | ||
| And then you could see kids getting in trouble because their parents hadn't paid for their lunch. | ||
| And there was like this really, you tell your father to get that money in. | ||
| Like there was this weirdness to it that just didn't seem loving. | ||
| It didn't seem like what I thought of when I thought of Christ. | ||
| It seemed to me like, oh no, this is a dark little trap that you can get sucked into. | ||
| What's remarkable about that is not just the age, but that you went from... | ||
| Really, really needing it in a very real way because of what was happening with your family. | ||
| Normally, you wouldn't turn that quickly. | ||
| Within a year, it sounds like. | ||
| By the time I was seven. | ||
| It was over by the time I was out of there. | ||
| Usually that change doesn't happen for... | ||
| 15, 20 years. | ||
| Well, outside of beating me or doing something sexual to me, just the mindfuck of dealing with those mean, nasty ladies scared the shit out of me. | ||
| I remember crying. | ||
| They were calling me a baby because I was crying. | ||
| I was like, whoa. | ||
| Just not knowing how to deal with human beings. | ||
| Yeah, when you're a six-year-old and this is going down, you're like, what have I done? | ||
| I went from always being with my mom or being with my grandma or my grandfather. | ||
| I was like, everything was cool. | ||
| And then all of a sudden you're going to school. | ||
| And this is what you're doing in school. | ||
| I didn't go to kindergarten. | ||
| I went to first grade. | ||
| It was the first thing I went to. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So all of a sudden the first grade is like instantaneously being connected to these crazy ladies. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I was like, oh no. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Poor. | |
| And then I would think about them. | ||
| And I was thinking about why they're so mean. | ||
| I remember being like six years old thinking this. | ||
| I was like, nobody probably loves them. | ||
| They don't have a family. | ||
| They don't have kids. | ||
| They don't have a boyfriend. | ||
| I didn't think at the time they don't have a girlfriend, but maybe they do. | ||
| Holla! | ||
| But for sure, the whole thing was that they didn't have anything. | ||
| No connection with another human being. | ||
| What could be lonelier or more anger-inducing? | ||
| Yeah, it was just dark. | ||
| They weren't loving people. | ||
| Do any of your children ask about it? | ||
| They don't even bring it up? | ||
| We've talked about God. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And my basic take is, Jordan Peterson said something really lovely. | ||
| He said he behaves as if God is real. | ||
| He behaves as if God exists. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Not that he believes God exists, because that's sort of a, it's a bit of an intellectual trap, right? | ||
| If you say, do you believe God exists? | ||
| Like, okay, define God. | ||
| No, yeah, then you're in the weeds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What does that mean? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Because do you think that I think that there's a city in the clouds? | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Do you think that there's an energy, like we were talking before? | ||
| Is it possible that there's something bigger than all this thing? | ||
| Well, there's bigger than everything. | ||
| Like, if you talk to an ant and say, hey man, do you think there's cities and skyscrapers and airplanes? | ||
| Like, what are you fucking moron? | ||
| Get out of here, bitch. | ||
| I'm trying to drag this dead bug around. | ||
| How are you talking anyway? | ||
| I got time for your fucking galaxy talk, universe talk. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here with your 5G, bitch. | ||
| I got time dragging this bug. | ||
| So, I mean, in our perspective, when we're talking about things, It's like we're so small. | ||
| The way we interface with reality, so crude, even though it's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, but I like the idea of the not going into the whole intellectual discussion about God, but just like, you know, just kind of act like he does exist. | ||
| It does make you act a little kinder. | ||
| It's like a parent figure. | ||
| It's like, okay, We're not going to do this because it's going to make them unhappy. | ||
| I try to do what I... When I'm at my best, I try to treat people as if they're me living another life. | ||
| Treat people as if they're just a... | ||
| Don't think people as a bother. | ||
| And it's hard to do. | ||
| It's hard to do, especially when you're busy. | ||
| Or when you have your kids with you, or when you're trying to get something done. | ||
| It's hard to do. | ||
| I try and walk around thinking everybody is drowning in insecurity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| That really kind of makes me give people a pass in the biggest and smallest ways. | ||
| Everybody, when you see people hustling, do whatever businessman, businesswoman, looks like she's on top of her game, person like on the subway who's obviously going someplace they don't want to go with no money in their pocket. | ||
| If you realize we're all just drowning in insecurity, it just makes you just give them a little bit of a pass. | ||
| That's been where my head's been at lately. | ||
| That's a great place to keep your head. | ||
| Because we all are. | ||
| Everyone's balled up. | ||
| Everyone, even the person you admire the most, is like, ah! | ||
| Well, you know what we were talking about earlier about the traps that you fall into as you're trying to achieve and do things? | ||
| You also fall into traps even with things that you love. | ||
| And you can get so caught up in the things that you love that you kind of forget to keep your... | ||
| When you're at your best, keep that in close range. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And if you feel like getting away from you because you're too tired, because you're working too much, pull that back. | ||
| Keep it at close range where you are operating at your best. | ||
| But be respectful of that, right? | ||
| And I think this is something that I've been guilty of in the past. | ||
| I wasn't respectful of the energy that's required to be at your best. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I'll just do all these other things. | ||
| I really firmly believe you only have so much bandwidth in a day. | ||
| And this is coming from a person who pushes their bandwidth too hard all the time. | ||
| I think you only have so much in a day. | ||
| And when you get to a certain state... | ||
| You wind up diminishing a lot of the other things that you do. | ||
| Like if you have like seven things cooking in the background on your phone, it's not going to move as fast, allegedly. | ||
| It actually does work that way. | ||
| Some computers. | ||
| But I think that people do that too. | ||
| You have too many things cooking at the same time. | ||
| Yeah, we all do. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| And then you take 20 minutes of transcendental meditation and take your nervous system and put it on restart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| And just let it wash out. | ||
| Are you hypnotizing me, bro? | ||
| This thing in your hand is freaking me out. | ||
| Let it wash out. | ||
| 20 minutes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Because we're all under that all the time, 100% frazzled, no matter how hard you're pushing or just coasting. | ||
| Three o'clock in the afternoon, two o'clock in the afternoon, four o'clock in the afternoon. | ||
| That nervous system's shot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We're all the same. | ||
| How do you do it? | ||
| 20 minutes. | ||
| What do you do? | ||
| Talk me through it. | ||
| You take your nervous system and the result of it is you come out and you've rebooted the system and you can now have a good part of the second part of your day. | ||
| Do you have a technique you use? | ||
| Do you use an app? | ||
| No, I went to a transcendental meditation teacher. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Without the hippy-dippy, that's the biggest part of it. | ||
| It literally makes you realize just what you said. | ||
| We're all just frazzled and running out of steam at a certain point. | ||
| Your nervous system is shot. | ||
| All that stuff that's happened just between 7 o'clock and 3 o'clock, whatever would happen, that nervous system has been dealing with a ton of stimulus all day long. | ||
| That meditation... | ||
| It gives you a reboot, and it's like a needed thing that's better than sleep, that it actually yearns for. | ||
| I'm telling you, since I really started dialing it in and did it, the best way I can describe it is that it added another four hours to my day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| How so? | ||
| Because I would just be limping across the finish line. | ||
| I'd be exhausted. | ||
| I'd be trying to do. | ||
| And with motivation and I'd work really hard, I would push through and get to maybe, you know, two hours more of what I needed to accomplish. | ||
| When you do this effortlessly without struggle, I'm able to just sail like I did between 9 and 12 that day. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| Do you think by using this practice, you're alleviating tension so you're more efficient with your energy? | ||
| That's part of it, but it really is taking this nervous system that is dealing with the outside world all the time and just giving it a real practical way to shut down Flatline, and then come back on the grid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it, like, your physical body needs a rest. | ||
| Your things need to be rebooted. | ||
| Your nervous system is kind of this thing that operates all the time that we're not really that conscious of. | ||
| We're not really that aware of how hard it's working. | ||
| And this is a way to pay attention to it and give it a chance to regenerate. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| And how long have you been doing this? | ||
| You know, I meditated for, like, since college, just out of reading books. | ||
| And then, probably about three years ago, my friend said, who always did transcendental meditation, he said, go just see if it dials you in. | ||
| Actually, the stuff you're doing, the way you talk about meditating, it sounds more laborious. | ||
| It sounds like you're doing too much work. | ||
| Just go talk to this guy. | ||
| And I did. | ||
| For like three, four sessions, I went and just talked to this guy here in LA, who's a transcendental meditation teacher. | ||
| And He just explained it and dialed me in on it. | ||
| And for the last three, four years, I haven't missed a day. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Three or four years? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Every day? | ||
| Every day. | ||
| Seven days? | ||
| Seven days. | ||
| No cheat day? | ||
| No cheat day. | ||
| How long? | ||
| No need for a cheat day. | ||
| It's the opposite of what you want from a cheat day. | ||
| 20 minutes? | ||
| It's like 20 minutes. | ||
| If you can get two in, that's the best. | ||
| If you can get one in the morning and one in the afternoon, then you're like Superman. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But if you can get one in... | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| Start to finish how long? | ||
| 20. 20 minutes? | ||
| 20. And you do this every day? | ||
| Every day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Every day. | ||
| Maybe that makes sense, man. | ||
| Because one of the things that people remark about you is how easygoing you are. | ||
| Like people said, dude, I love when Tom Popp is on your podcast. | ||
| Because it's so easygoing. | ||
| You guys gel so well together. | ||
| You flow together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like you're tuned in to something. | ||
| We're just present together. | ||
| We're just, you know, we're both, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're kind of not struggling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And that's what it teaches you. | ||
| This is a big roaring river. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it lets you just kind of go underneath, catch your breath, and then come back up into it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you feel that way when you exercise? | ||
| Do you feel like when you exercise that you get into like a zone and you reset your brain? | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I feel less depressed when I exercise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like if I'm in a funk and I'm like, oh, I don't want to, and I go for a run, I'm like, my day's different. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| It's almost like that funk is trying to hold on to control, too. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like it's tricking your brain. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, dude, you feel like shit today. | ||
| I was like, let me just put these goddamn shoes on and go run. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know... | ||
| You feel so good. | ||
| But the meditation is different. | ||
| The meditation is... | ||
| Like, the run will give me energy. | ||
| I won't feel so shitty. | ||
| I'm like, I'm okay. | ||
| You know, I feel good. | ||
| I feel alive and whatever. | ||
| But the meditation, in a very subtle way... | ||
| Five hours later, when you're faced with a stressful situation, you don't feel as stressed as you normally would. | ||
| Because it's just your nervous system, which is very powerful, has been rebooted and is now able to go and deal with another situation. | ||
| You should go see him. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| I'll give you the name of the guy. | ||
| He's not amazing. | ||
| It's not a guru. | ||
| It's not the one sperm guy. | ||
| It is not about him. | ||
| One million dollars. | ||
| It's not about a religion. | ||
| It's not about a people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For a drop of my sperm. | |
| This guy will not give you his sperm. | ||
| He's just delivering the message of this little practice, which is very... | ||
| It's not hippy-dippy. | ||
| It's very... | ||
| Practical. | ||
| Practical. | ||
| You can use it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the best part of it. | ||
| Would you be... | ||
| Have you tried the tank before? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The float tank? | |
| No. | ||
| Would you be interested in doing it? | ||
| We have one here. | ||
| You can use it anytime you want. | ||
| I would like to hear what your take on it is. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Especially if you wanted to practice those techniques in there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that would be really interesting. | ||
| It's a crazy environment, man. | ||
| That would be great. | ||
| Yeah, you should do it. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Not today. | ||
| I'm drunk. | ||
| But there's also a bunch of big places around, too. | ||
| There's the Float Lab down in Venice, and they have one at Westwood. | ||
| What's the big place that's in Pasadena has the biggest one in the world? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And people come in like a gym and go float? | |
| Yeah, you sign up, go in there and float. | ||
| Pasadena's got a giant... | ||
| Just Float. | ||
| Yeah, Just Float and Pasadena. | ||
| Shoot, don't they have like 40 fucking float tanks or some crazy shit? | ||
| I don't know how many they have, but I think they use all Float Lab stuff too. | ||
| That would be cool. | ||
| You know, it's another interesting thing. | ||
| If you get the morning one in, you know how sometimes you wake up, you've slept, you went to bed at 11, you're up at 7, but you're exhausted because your night's sleep was restless. | ||
| You got up to pee a couple times. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| You look back at your bed, it was just a disaster. | ||
| You do those 20 minutes before you go about your day, just before the kids get up, just get 20 minutes in. | ||
| It was more valuable than what you tried to accomplish in that 8 hours spinning around in the sheets. | ||
| Especially for someone like you, right? | ||
| Whose job is to create things. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| To put your mindset into a particular place is super beneficial if you're just creating things all the time. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| But it's for everybody. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| It's literally like we're all just human beings just struggling every day going out doing all this stuff. | ||
| And it's like you could be, you know, a single mom living in a city taking the bus to work after dealing with your kids. | ||
| Her nervous system is being bombarded. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 20 minutes just to kind of – sitting there on the bus. | ||
| You could do it on the bus with all this other – it's not a pristine thing. | ||
| It's not a hippie thing. | ||
| It's not an – I was going to say elegant, but it is kind of elegant. | ||
| It's not a special thing. | ||
| It really is just like a controlled nap in a way. | ||
| And it just gives you more to go on. | ||
| We're all, everybody, no matter what you're creating, no matter what you're doing, we're all under assault all the time. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, don't equate it to war, but there's like bombardments of energy and stuff that's coming after you all the time. | ||
| You have to kind of tend to the system that's dealing with that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think anything that gives you a perspective re-shift or re-reboot is great. | ||
| Anything. | ||
| Whether it's going for a swim in the ocean. | ||
| Whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Something that gives you a perspective reboot. | ||
| We get caught in some pretty gross ruts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Perspective reboot is a cool way to say it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think we have these views of the world. | ||
| Sort of... | ||
| We have these patterns that we sort of recognize. | ||
| We see them. | ||
| They're out there. | ||
| And we get locked into them. | ||
| And we're just visiting the same websites and seeing the same people and doing the same things every day. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And sometimes you need something different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Some... | ||
| Yeah, to knock you out. | ||
| You need something that gets you to think about other stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, maybe it's going to a place. | ||
| This is why travel is so good. | ||
| I used to never get travel when I was a kid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was like, who the fuck wants to travel? | ||
| I like being home. | ||
| I do like being home, but one of the things about travel is it allows you to experience the feel of someone's culture in real life. | ||
| Like, you're walking through the streets of Cologne, Germany. | ||
| You're like, wow, this is how these people live. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| We walk through the streets of Rome. | ||
| Takes you out of yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It gives you this, first of all, it gives you this appreciation that there's different rules over here, but these are still people, modern people, just like you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then some of your ancestors came from here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But here they are with those different rules. | ||
| Millions of them. | ||
| Yeah, millions of them. | ||
| And then they got people that are coming into them from Africa. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it's like, whoa, this is crazy. | ||
| This whole thing is fascinating. | ||
| And then you're around Pompeii, and you're seeing the ruins where Mount Vesuvius erupted. | ||
| You killed all these people, and you're wandering through all this stuff. | ||
| This is fascinating. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a long way from thinking about the three apps that you sit on your phone every day and get your news and get your thing and check your Instagram and check your Facebook. | ||
| That's a whole other... | ||
| A whole other mind-blower. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's a whole universe of other stuff to think about. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why I love walking in New York. | ||
| Like you have your routines of like where you're walking. | ||
| Just get on the other side of the street and go the other direction. | ||
| You're a wild man. | ||
| It's a whole other world! | ||
| But really, it's like, just literally, like when you're on your run with your dog, and you, if you just look the other way from when you normally are like doing your thing, it's a whole nother perspective. | ||
| It's a whole nother world. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| But literally, just looking the other way, running the other direction. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| But look, it's not a small thing because we like the order. | ||
| That provides calm and safety if you're just going that same route all the time. | ||
| But then there's a limit, I guess, and it starts acting negatively on your life and your head. | ||
| Right, if you're just a constant vagabond traveling around the globe, that's probably not positive either, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Always going to a new place, never having a home. | ||
| I love home. | ||
| Yeah, I love home too. | ||
| I love home, which is so weird in a career where we have to travel so much. | ||
| I hate to say, equate it to good and evil, but that there's some weird sort of balance in this life and that we do really have to experience negative things to appreciate positive things for what they really are. | ||
| If everything is positive, if you're the lottery winner when you're five, Yeah. | ||
| And you win that golden power ticket 500 million jammy when you're five years old. | ||
| And it's all made. | ||
| Then you don't have to, imagine growing up. | ||
| It'd ruin your life. | ||
| And you're like, listen, little Tommy, you never have to work again. | ||
| It would ruin your life. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Grandpa bought you a lottery ticket when you were five. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you'd be so nice to give us some of that money, that would be nice, but you have $790 million. | ||
| You'd be like, what? | ||
| Grandpa, yeah, Grandpa put it in a trust and it's all yours and you can have it when you turn 18. But you could give us some of it now. | ||
| There's a sign right here. | ||
| Come on, Billy. | ||
| You would be fucked. | ||
| Imagine growing up, being like Richie Rich. | ||
| Yeah, no, you'd be a mess. | ||
| You'd be like, what the fuck? | ||
| You'd be a mess. | ||
| You'd have a face full of cocaine, chasing these feelings that you can't get just from practical, everyday work. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| Remember that fucking commercial, that cartoon, Richie Rich? | ||
| Oh yeah, I used to buy his comic books. | ||
| Every year at the Jersey Shore, I'd get his comic books. | ||
| He always had new ones. | ||
| That's gotta be one of the weirdest cartoons of all time. | ||
| A really rich kid. | ||
| Really rich? | ||
| Who had all the money in the world. | ||
| All the poor kids would read it and go, fuck, I wish I was Richie Rich. | ||
| Man, this guy's got everything. | ||
| He's got his own go-kart. | ||
| Look at him sitting there. | ||
| He's got bachelors, he's got a sundae, chocolates. | ||
| I want my little dear boy comfy while he takes a nap. | ||
| Teehee! | ||
| And he says, oh, well, thanks, Mom. | ||
| They bring over candy, and there's a butler dressed like that dude with the tailcoat, coincidentally. | ||
| But look at the name of it. | ||
| It's Richie Rich, the poor little rich boy. | ||
| Right? | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| The poor little rich boy. | ||
| Because he's not happy. | ||
| All taken care of. | ||
| Because he's not happy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| First of all, look at the size of his ankles. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus Christ. | |
| Kid's got gout. | ||
| He's got the gout. | ||
| He's got gout, for sure. | ||
| But the dude who's got the ice cream sundae, he's the same dress, the same as... | ||
| Go back to the picture, please. | ||
| The dude with the ice cream sundae is... | ||
| In the very top. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's wearing the same clothes that we were mocking in that other thing. | ||
| Ah, that's right. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| He's wearing the tails. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's wearing the whole... | |
| That's the whole same jamming. | ||
| He's got the whole getup. | ||
| The 1800s getup. | ||
| See, I used to think about a guy like that, like in The Shining or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When there's some butler. | ||
| And I would think of, oh, that's a proper man. | ||
| That's a man that... | ||
| He's the guy from The Shining and he's just gonna come over and be proper and normal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Normal. | ||
| But then, as I got older, I realized, like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| That's a guy. | ||
| That's just a dude. | ||
| That's just a guy, and this guy has this fucked up job where he has to dress like he lives in another time period and wait on all these rich white people. | ||
| Like, what in the fuck is this? | ||
| That's a tortured man right there. | ||
| If you were a serious black rapper, like one of them guys with diamond teeth, wouldn't you get a white servant... | ||
| Like that guy? | ||
| Yeah, that's so funny. | ||
| All white butlers? | ||
| Yes, all white butlers. | ||
| Just like super high-end guys from England. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're professionals. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| Why don't they do that? | ||
| He's a professional butler, sir. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| I love diamond teeth. | ||
| Yeah, poor little Richie Rich. | ||
| He wasn't happy. | ||
| His name is Cadbury. | ||
| Cadbury? | ||
| Oh, Cadbury, the perfect butler. | ||
| Cadbury was his butler. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Oh, Cadbury. | ||
| The perfect butler. | ||
| Bring over that sundae. | ||
| Look at that other poor kid. | ||
| He's all deformed and shit. | ||
| He looks like he's evolving. | ||
| That other kid looks like his grandparents were those Australiapithecus. | ||
| And Richie Rich is like, I'll show you what it's like to be rich, rich, rich, rich, rich. | ||
| I never had this... | ||
| Neanderthal looking fella. | ||
| I never sat at a table before. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Blow that picture of that kid again out. | ||
| Tell me he doesn't look Neanderthal-esque. | ||
| He has a monkey face. | ||
| He fucking straight up does. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He's got a total Neanderthal thing going on. | ||
| His ears are real low. | ||
| His nose isn't quite big enough, but they definitely gave him some odd features. | ||
| He does look terrible. | ||
| Yeah, he's got a bald patch in the back of his head. | ||
| Looks like he's got a bullet wound. | ||
| I'm going to try to scalp him. | ||
| Poor little guy. | ||
| Poor little fella. | ||
| What was his name? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Fuckface. | ||
| It's Richie Rich Cadbury and his friend Fuckface. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuckface. | |
| Oh, girlfriends. | ||
| He's got girls. | ||
| I had all these comic books. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at this. | |
| Look at all the girls. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| Hit the bill's eye. | ||
| So is one of them his mom? | ||
| The lady with the blonde hair is his mom, right? | ||
| Little Otta is her name. | ||
| Oh, but the blonde hair is his mom, right? | ||
| It's Little Otta. | ||
| Little Otta? | ||
| Lotta. | ||
| Lotta. | ||
| Their names are written down up here. | ||
| Oh, Little Otta. | ||
| Little Dot and then Oh, Christ. | ||
| They're all his girlfriends. | ||
| Little Lotta, get it? | ||
| She's big. | ||
| You get it? | ||
| I swear to God, I'm having flashbacks from every summer as a child. | ||
| I'd go to this bookstore and there'd be comic books and I'd buy these little rich, richy-rich comic books and go home and read them. | ||
| Look, he's looking at his shadow. | ||
| It's his dollar bills for his shadow. | ||
| He's got a hot girlfriend. | ||
| When is a badass rapper gonna recreate this picture for the cover of his album? | ||
| I think that would be perfect for, like, Gucci Mane. | ||
| Richie Rich, yo. | ||
| Come on, tell me that wouldn't be. | ||
| Have him walk away. | ||
| Let me Google. | ||
| Because he might have already done it. | ||
| Because he takes a lot of pictures with his lovely wife. | ||
| That would be a perfect picture for Gucci Mane and his wife. | ||
| Funny. | ||
| Dollar Bill behind him. | ||
| Holla. | ||
| Dollar Bill, y'all. | ||
| Cha-cha-ching! | ||
| It's so weird, right? | ||
| What a crazy idea for a comic strip. | ||
| Bay Area rapper named Richie Rich, so... | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| Yeah, and I don't remember it being like... | ||
| They weren't really sending a message like money isn't important. | ||
| No. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| Wouldn't you want to be Richie? | ||
| That was the moral. | ||
| He could get ice cream whenever he wanted it. | ||
| That was always the thing, too. | ||
| They're always getting ice cream. | ||
| Cadbury, the perfect butler. | ||
| Frightfully fit. | ||
| Yes, Mrs. Rich, one should keep fit. | ||
| I exercise all the time. | ||
| How interesting, Cadbury. | ||
| That's literally the lines. | ||
| That's the comedy. | ||
| Look at the size of her arms. | ||
| Oh, they're like ham hocks. | ||
| She just mounts you and just wraps your head up in those arms and smothers you to death. | ||
| You try to chew your way out, but you run out of air. | ||
| You run out of air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How interesting, Cadbury. | |
| She kills you with those meat flaps. | ||
| Get over here, Cadbury. | ||
| And if she's ever in trouble, she could literally leap off a building with those things and just glide to safety. | ||
| Look at him, he's jacked. | ||
| Wow, Cadbury's jacked. | ||
| Cadbury's fucking jacked, dude. | ||
| He takes off his... | ||
| Look at him on the left. | ||
| He's jacked. | ||
| He's going into a hot tub. | ||
| He's got a towel on and no shirt. | ||
| He's ripped. | ||
| When did Cadbury become so... | ||
| And look at him. | ||
| What a butler. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Homoerotic. | ||
| What a butler. | ||
| So strange. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| You're putting your... | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Look what he says there. | ||
| Gosh, I've been keeping you from your bath, Cadbury. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Please go. | ||
| No need for biology, sir. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Someday I shall relate this story of how I once lost all my clothes at the South Pole. | |
| And then he says, what a butler! | ||
| As he's walking, I'm going to walk away with this tiny little towel around his junk. | ||
| Look how little that towel is. | ||
| Where do you even find a towel that little that makes it all the way around your ass? | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
|
unidentified
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Every other towel that's that little, your dick will be hanging out, son. | |
| You've got to make a choice. | ||
| You're covering your dick or you're covering your asshole, but you're definitely not covering both. | ||
| What kind of strange snake-like towel are you possessing? | ||
| Six inches across, 12 feet long. | ||
| Yeah, Cadbury got on the juice. | ||
| Started lifting. | ||
| Got a fitness coach. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| That was very homoerotic. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| They were allowed to do weird stuff back then. | ||
| Imagine if you had that cartoon today. | ||
| Fucking feds would show up at your door. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Hey, Tom Papa, let's see your fucking hard drive. | ||
| Another one of the pedophile conspiracy. | ||
| Creepy piece of shit. | ||
| The fuck you been up to? | ||
| Tom Papa, look what's up. | ||
| This podcast is five hours long. | ||
| How long have we gone today? | ||
| Three hours and a half at least, right? | ||
| Pre-15. | ||
| It's the best! | ||
| Tom Papa, it's so easy to talk to you, my friend. | ||
| Do you have anything you're selling? | ||
| Thanks for the wine. | ||
| My pleasure. | ||
| Stick around for a while. | ||
| I don't want you driving anywhere. | ||
| They can listen to my podcast. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Come to Papa. | ||
| Come to Papa. | ||
| And what is this other thing? | ||
| The NPR? NPR Live From Here. | ||
| It's called Live From Here. | ||
| Live From Here. | ||
| Every week. | ||
| Six o'clock on your... | ||
| Six o'clock east on your national public radio or whatever. | ||
| And when are you going to be at the Lovely Comedy Store next? | ||
| Probably tomorrow. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Got to work out some stuff. | ||
| Want to do my sold-out show in the main room? | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Tomorrow? | ||
| 8 p.m. | ||
| show. | ||
| I'm there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holla! | |
| Sweet. | ||
| Look at that, folks. | ||
| We just made a booking. | ||
| I'm on. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Thank you, everybody. | ||
| Bye. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. |
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