Speaker | Time | Text |
---|---|---|
Five, four, three, two. | ||
Ladies and gentlemen, live and available right now, Everlast, Whitey Ford, House of Pain. | ||
You! | ||
Yes, sir. | ||
How are you, sir? | ||
How are you doing, man? | ||
Good to see you, brother. | ||
unidentified
|
Good to see you again. | |
Been a minute. | ||
You going to Vegas this weekend for the fights? | ||
Yeah, man. | ||
We got a little party the night before. | ||
We were doing a little show at the Brooklyn Bowl with my buddy Evidence and my crew cycle around. | ||
No headphones? | ||
You don't want to wear headphones? | ||
Oh, I'm going to put the headphones on. | ||
I feel like I'm alone here with the headphones on. | ||
There we go. | ||
There we go. | ||
Now we're on the same team. | ||
Now we're locked in. | ||
Is this out? | ||
This is out, right? | ||
Yeah, it came out about three weeks ago, something like that, maybe a month. | ||
Beautiful. | ||
I've been in Europe for the whole month, just touring, so... | ||
This is like everything. | ||
Everlast presents Whitey Ford's House of Pain. | ||
Yeah, it's everything in the toolbox I brought to this record. | ||
So that's kind of where the title came from. | ||
It's been eight years since my last Real Studio album. | ||
I figured, hey, maybe this could be the last one. | ||
I hope not. | ||
What? | ||
You know my story with the family. | ||
I dedicate a lot more of my time to the family just because of some of the extra issues we deal with, which everything is wonderful and great now. | ||
Dude, I'm 30 pounds lighter than the last time I was here. | ||
How'd you do that? | ||
Honestly, it started here because I purposely came here that day. | ||
It was the first time, if you remember, it was a while ago. | ||
I haven't done a thousand podcasts since that day. | ||
But it was the first time I had come out and they started talking about anything that was going on in my life in a public way. | ||
You know, I got a lot off my chest that day, and I also planned that day to put myself in a position to hold myself accountable by stating, I don't feel good about the way I look right now. | ||
And I reached out for like theoretically for help, you know, and I got an incredible response from the podcast audience and my own fans. | ||
I mean, I got offered from everybody everywhere how to do this, that and the other. | ||
Didn't really need that because within my own circle, some people stepped up and I also did it to hold. | ||
Right. | ||
I put it up there on the wall and stamped it and said, here's what I want out of life right now. | ||
There's nobody stopping me but me. | ||
And sometimes some of the things I used to get on and see you talking about, I'm not letting this inner bitch kick my ass today. | ||
And I just started taking things like that to heart. | ||
How'd you change? | ||
What'd you do different? | ||
We started talking about it last time. | ||
Therapy, you know what I mean? | ||
It's helped a lot for me because of this, you know, the added pressures our family faces with my oldest daughter having cystic fibrosis. | ||
You know, it just, for a long time, it was just learning how to live life with it. | ||
You know, and that got heavy. | ||
There was some real dark, you know, heavy moments, you know, scary moments for her in the hospital, you know. | ||
So, I mean, as a human, you know, you have this baby and you're just trying to figure out how to not... | ||
Screw it up with a normal health situation. | ||
This is this added thing. | ||
It took a long time for me to come to terms. | ||
At first, I got really angry. | ||
I got into some real Lieutenant Dan, war with God kind of stuff at the top of the sailboat. | ||
I was there all the way. | ||
It got to a point where I almost got locked up for trying to fight a cop that was trying to just talk to me about something. | ||
I just lost my mind. | ||
I had no... | ||
I had so much anger over so much that I wasn't dealing with. | ||
And then I found a guy that just really got me, a therapist, and it began the ball rolling of understanding how to cope with a lot of that stuff. | ||
Wow. | ||
So, as far as like, first of all, you look really good. | ||
Thank you, man. | ||
Your face looks great. | ||
Your skin looks good. | ||
I'm taking a lot better care of myself. | ||
It looks like it. | ||
Thank you. | ||
What are you doing different as far as how you eat? | ||
Just eating cleaner. | ||
Just trying not to be more aware of what's in the food and what's in the meat and stuff. | ||
I'm still part of the whole commercial meat system, though I long to get into a situation where I'm hunting and doing things like that. | ||
We had talked about that for a while. | ||
You wanted to try hunting pigs at Tejon Ranch, right? | ||
Well, I asked you what would be the best starting point, and you were like, you know, they got boar up there at El Tejon, and I know some guys. | ||
And I actually contacted them, and I just, again, this life. | ||
You're so busy. | ||
It's not just this. | ||
It's the added stress of, like, you know, I have a wife that when I go on the road, she's the sole handler of these problems, you know what I mean? | ||
So these things pile on you, guilt and stress and all this, you know? | ||
So yeah, it's just between that and when I'm home, I just invest myself. | ||
I want to be home. | ||
I want to do as much as I can to lift that weight. | ||
So I get caught up by all the things I want to do, I can't do all the time. | ||
But it started again, now I'm taking care of myself. | ||
I'm actually about to start jiu-jitsu again, which I've been doing. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah, because forever I was so goddamn fat in the middle. | ||
Hip escapes were like, you know, I was hurting my back or my neck every other time I tried to do it. | ||
I just quit because it was getting, you know what I mean? | ||
I mean, I wasn't super advanced. | ||
I was probably pretty close to getting a blue belt. | ||
You know, I was about a year in on like four lessons a week with just the private, you know, I was with Marcus Vanessa said Beverly Hills Jiu Jitsu for a while. | ||
Now I'm just looking to see what I want to do. | ||
You know, I've talked to Eddie a few times. | ||
I'm talking to a few other guys. | ||
Cron has thrown some advice my way. | ||
Are you doing any exercise at all besides that? | ||
Cardio, not much weights or anything like that. | ||
Just, you know, keeping it moving. | ||
Two hours on stage a night. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
It's good to do something first. | ||
I feel like... | ||
I always tell people, like, jujitsu is so grueling that I think of why... | ||
I mean, you could just jump in and you will get in shape through jujitsu. | ||
But a good thing to do is, like, find a place that teaches you kettlebells and take some kettlebell classes and just get your body strong enough... | ||
Well, I remember one of the things Marcus used to do, Marcus used to run me around the gym for 30 minutes before we could even start a lesson. | ||
Like, I literally had to puke for the first, like, month. | ||
Yeah, that's that old-school way. | ||
And then it would take so long that he would be like, all right, you're past the puking thing, you've ran it. | ||
But at first, I would, like... | ||
Literally be run until I was puke. | ||
And then the crazy part about it was 15 minutes after you felt great when you were doing the lessons. | ||
So it all worked. | ||
Yeah, the old school guys, that's how they used to do it. | ||
They used to, like all the old school Carlson Gracie classes, you'd have a grueling physical workout first. | ||
Hip escapes, push-ups, sit-ups, bodyweight squats, all this different stuff. | ||
There's a good thought process behind that, not just that it gets you in shape, but also that you learn how to do jiu-jitsu when you're tired. | ||
So that you learn how to just use technique and not use, like, physical strength. | ||
Relax. | ||
You almost have no choice but to relax. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
There's people that disagree with that though. | ||
They think you should learn technique when you're fresh and it, like, sits in better. | ||
But it's just two different schools of thought. | ||
You know, I don't think either one is right. | ||
It's definitely good to understand what it's like to be tired and how to train and how to push yourself when you're tired. | ||
For sure. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm excited. | ||
I'm really looking forward to it. | ||
Like, I just started talking about, like, about two weeks ago, really getting back into it. | ||
Well, that's a lot of weight to lose, man. | ||
That's a big accomplishment. | ||
I got 15 to go to really to hit my goal. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I want to be 225. 225 is a good weight. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Are you taking vitamins or supplements or anything along those lines? | ||
Like a daily, but I have restrictions because I take blood thinners and stuff because of this titanium heart valve I have. | ||
So I have to have a vitamin that's devoid of vitamin K because that's what makes your blood clot. | ||
A lot of the juicing things and things like that when you want to go on a juice cleanse, I can't do it because a lot of it's kale-based. | ||
And, like, kale is heavy green. | ||
It's high in vitamin K. It'll totally, like, screw up my blood chemistry, you know, because I'm going the other direction with blood thinners. | ||
Jesus Christ. | ||
I have to, otherwise, like, a clock could hit, like, stick to that titanium valve, break off, and wind up in my brain. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
And then I'm stroked out, and that's the last thing we need. | ||
Fuck. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, I remember when you put the microphone up to your heart, and you could hear that... | |
Yeah, I'm so, so, like, when I'm in here, I keep feeling like you can hear it anyways, like, all through this. | ||
I hear it, it's white noise to me. | ||
If I want to hear it, I can hear it. | ||
I can take my pulse like this just by telling you. | ||
Wow. | ||
Two, three. | ||
unidentified
|
You can feel it? | |
I can hear it in my own skull. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
I can hear it in my bones. | ||
I can hear it. | ||
It's in me. | ||
How long is that good for? | ||
Forever. | ||
Forever? | ||
As long as I take care of myself. | ||
I mean, it's been 20 years, literally, in 2018. It happened in 98. Wow. | ||
And I just get, you know, as long as I keep the blood thinners going and, you know, I get checked, you know, two times, three times a year, you know. | ||
And then the blood thinner, is it because if you got a clot, it would somehow or another get stuck in that valve? | ||
A clot could, like, or, you know, it's a titanium valve, so the clot could actually form on it. | ||
The metal, like, if the blood's too sticky and has too much clot, it could stick to the valve, then break off, and then wind up in your brain. | ||
Whoa. | ||
You know? | ||
But to avoid blood clots in general, yes. | ||
Right. | ||
What's the difference between that and a regular valve? | ||
What would happen with a regular valve? | ||
Well, the other choice would have been a pig valve, and those are good for about 15 years. | ||
They would have already had to open you up again. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I would have had to have it done. | ||
I'd probably be due. | ||
Yeah, I'd probably right now do. | ||
Pig valve. | ||
They do that for older people is what they do. | ||
When you get into your 60s, they'll really explore that. | ||
Pig valve. | ||
They don't think you're going to be around 50 more years. | ||
They just say, here, just for now. | ||
It's called a St. Jude's artificial valve. | ||
Powerful medical technology. | ||
Eddie Bravo's got a titanium disc in his back now. | ||
Yeah, he just had a surgery. | ||
That's right. | ||
Yeah, his back moves around great. | ||
He was fully compressed where there was nothing left. | ||
It was basically bone on bone. | ||
He was in pain all the time. | ||
And they just opened him up and put a fake valve in there. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
Or a fake disc, rather, in there. | ||
But it's articulating. | ||
So it moves around like a regular disc. | ||
It's not like he's fused. | ||
You're seeing people that are all Yeah, they get the fuse. | ||
I have a friend that got that done. | ||
Yeah, they're super stiff. | ||
Like, wherever it is, it's basically locked down. | ||
There's no movement to it anymore. | ||
But Eddie's is actually, it moves like a real disc. | ||
Yeah, the shit that's gonna be coming down the pipeline is gonna be crazy, man. | ||
Yeah, I mean, I know people with fake everything. | ||
I know people with fake hips and fake knees and... | ||
unidentified
|
Fake butts. | |
Fake heart valves. | ||
Fake heart valves. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
I mean, at a certain point in time, they're just going to replace your whole body and take your brain out and put it in some new body. | ||
Or you're just going to be able to download your consciousness. | ||
Well, that's what Elon was saying. | ||
Yo, your man got in mad trouble! | ||
He didn't really. | ||
It made some noise, man. | ||
Yeah, but here's the deal, dude. | ||
When you got $25 billion, all trouble is bullshit. | ||
Truth. | ||
It's like, good luck with your trouble. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You're in trouble, Elon. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
He's out there with a fucking flamethrower shooting rocket ships into the atmosphere. | ||
Yeah, that flamethrower is crazy, too. | ||
He does whatever he wants, man. | ||
He's basically like a little kid who's a genius. | ||
Can you actually buy that? | ||
Is that, like, for sale? | ||
Not anymore. | ||
There's one right there. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, you're kidding. | |
There's one right there. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He sold them all out in like two days or something, right? | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
I don't doubt it. | ||
I would have been on it had I been hit. | ||
What are you going to do with it, though? | ||
It's just fun. | ||
It's just you have a flamethrower. | ||
But it's literally called not a flamethrower. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Yeah, it's basically what you saw in the movie Aliens. | ||
Remember the second Alien when they're shooting the flames at the aliens? | ||
That's what that thing is. | ||
Yeah, I seen him on something just the other day. | ||
Was it here where it looked like he was going to set the building on fire? | ||
Yeah, that was in here. | ||
Yeah, that was on my Instagram. | ||
Yeah, he's a madman. | ||
The world needs more of those. | ||
More people like him. | ||
Not more flamethrowers. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Plenty of flamethrowers. | ||
So, uh, you looking forward to the fights this weekend? | ||
I'm super jacked for it, man. | ||
You know, we got this little show before. | ||
Is anybody coming out to jump around? | ||
Um, I don't know. | ||
They have to. | ||
They, you know, I'm waiting for Conor to, you know. | ||
How does he not adopt that song? | ||
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
Well, he comes out to Sinead O'Connor, right? | ||
Like, he does, like, usually, like, that into, like, the Notorious, like, song. | ||
unidentified
|
Like, the, you know, the, I don't know, the Notorious. | |
Right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Who was coming out to jump around? | ||
Marcus Davis did. | ||
He did. | ||
I know Cavillo, the female fighter. | ||
Cynthia Cavillo? | ||
Yeah, Cavillo. | ||
Thank you. | ||
I know she comes out to jump around. | ||
I met her at a fight. | ||
She was super cool. | ||
Quite a few people have come out to it. | ||
I think Mashida came out to it once. | ||
unidentified
|
Really? | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
He's over in Bellator now. | ||
I'm not always sure they have a choice. | ||
Sometimes I just think Dana says, you're coming out to jump around. | ||
Well, he definitely takes away bad choices. | ||
unidentified
|
I might be the sub when there's a really shitty choice. | |
Like, here, throw that in there. | ||
But then Darren Till came out to Sweet Caroline. | ||
He came out to, uh, who was that? | ||
Neil Diamond. | ||
Neil Diamond, yeah. | ||
And he had the whole crowd singing along. | ||
I'm like, this is crazy. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Was that in Boston or in that area of the country? | ||
No. | ||
It was, uh, where was that fight? | ||
Chicago? | ||
Chicago makes sense. | ||
Neil Diamond. | ||
Wasn't in Chicago? | ||
No. | ||
Dallas. | ||
It was Dallas. | ||
That's strange. | ||
That's a little weird. | ||
unidentified
|
He should have came out to Hank Williams. | |
Yeah, it was weird. | ||
It was weird. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's just like, you know, that's a big deal. | ||
Like, walkout songs are a big deal. | ||
You can't have a whack walkout song. | ||
The thing for me is when I hear one of my songs, I'm just always like, oh, please win. | ||
I'm just like, oh, please win. | ||
Imagine if your song becomes a curse. | ||
Yeah, it's like, oh, man, come on, man. | ||
Like, John Anik does stats on fist bumps. | ||
Like, how many times people fist bump Bruce Buffer whether or not they win or lose. | ||
And Diego Sanchez broke the curse in his last fight. | ||
He fist bumped Bruce and he won. | ||
So the fist bump was a curse. | ||
We were trying to figure it out. | ||
Oh, okay. | ||
Because he was like, I think it's like 50-50 right now, like whether or not people, when they fist bump Bruce Buffer, whether they win. | ||
And there was a bad streak for a while, like three or four people in a row lost that were fist bumping. | ||
You know, Bruce gives you the intro, you know, when he gives you the intro, you know, Diego, Nightmare Sanchez! | ||
Yeah, I see. | ||
He gives you a little fist bump. | ||
And if you fist bump him back, if you do engage in that, like Annick was trying to figure out, Annick is kind of a degenerate gambler in the most positive way. | ||
I mean, he's not losing his family or his life, but he fucking loves gambling. | ||
And so he's always giving you stats on this and that. | ||
Finding something to put a bet on, right? | ||
I mean, it's not even things he actually bets on, but he's always thinking that way. | ||
Could you bet on it? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I wonder if you could bet on how many people who fist bump Bruce Buffer. | ||
You could find somebody to take the bet. | ||
The thought process would be you're not totally in the zone if you got the time to fist bump Bruce Buffer. | ||
I'm not sure if I'd buy it though. | ||
No, because it's also your moment when he's saying your name and it's like, I'd be in that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I don't know. | ||
It's tricky. | ||
Tricky. | ||
Well, it sounds like it's about even, so it's just one of them things. | ||
Someone should do stats on it, because John Anik has only done, like, you know, just off the top of his head. | ||
There's some guy in his basement right now starting. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, for sure. | |
Starting to watch the fights. | ||
Yeah, for sure. | ||
Write it down. | ||
Okay, let's take the notes. | ||
Well, you could basically bet on anything these days, right? | ||
In Vegas, yeah. | ||
You could pretty much find a lot of things that you wouldn't think you could bet on that you can. | ||
I don't even bet, but I like the fact that you can bet on everything. | ||
Why not? | ||
Over-unders, coin flips. | ||
And it's also, I like that it's freedom. | ||
I don't like this idea that people are telling you what you can and can't do with your money. | ||
Like, you can't gamble your money away. | ||
You have to go to a spot in the desert. | ||
Like, why? | ||
Says who? | ||
Says who? | ||
Like, why can't you gamble right here? | ||
Why can't you have a casino on every corner? | ||
Who cares? | ||
unidentified
|
Like, well, people are going to lose their paycheck and lose their family and lose their... | |
Will they really? | ||
Will they really? | ||
Is that what's going to do it? | ||
Is it the casino? | ||
Maybe for a while, but then people will be like, you know, we shouldn't go there as much. | ||
Yeah, it's like the infantilization of people. | ||
You know, keep them, protect them from themselves. | ||
You don't protect them from liquor stores or fast cars. | ||
You know, those things are everywhere. | ||
Everywhere. | ||
Good point, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I'm with you, man. | ||
I could never live in Vegas, though. | ||
I could live in Vegas, you know, if it was between Beirut and Vegas. | ||
You know, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas. | ||
For sure. | ||
Let's do it. | ||
I'll figure it out. | ||
But, you know, it just, it seems to me like, this just, the whole thing is, it's built, I mean, there's shows and it's wonderful and there's neon and there's great restaurants and all that stuff, but it's also built on you losing money. | ||
Yeah. | ||
The whole thing is built on you losing money. | ||
And what's the real population of Vegas? | ||
Like a half a million people? | ||
Of people that aren't there visiting, gambling, and for the fuckery? | ||
Let's take a guess. | ||
I'm guessing like half a million people. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I bet you're about right. | ||
Six? | ||
630,000. | ||
I'm not that far off, man. | ||
Pretty close. | ||
Yeah, it's a good guess. | ||
Would that have been... | ||
That's close enough to win the bet. | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
Yeah, I mean, if the price is right. | ||
Yeah, so you've got a real small town there that's acting like a city, too. | ||
It's kind of weird. | ||
unidentified
|
Right. | |
You know? | ||
Well, like, what is the population at any given time with all the hotels filled? | ||
Oh, I would probably guess... | ||
Like, this weekend's a big weekend. | ||
At least double. | ||
More than that, probably, right? | ||
I'm saying, at least, even like an off-season, off-day, you're probably at least double that. | ||
But a lot of the folks that work in Vegas, they live in like Henderson or something like that, where you can go into a nice neighborhood, your kids can ride bikes in the street. | ||
It's like normal. | ||
Over there to Summerlin, too. | ||
That's really nice over there. | ||
Yes. | ||
Yeah, there's a few of those spots that are like normal. | ||
I actually like staying over there at that Red Rock. | ||
That's nice. | ||
Yeah, I don't like the strip. | ||
There's too much fuckery, man. | ||
Exactly. | ||
That's why I like you. | ||
Get quiet. | ||
If I want the fuckery, I'll take a cab to the fuckery. | ||
unidentified
|
Exactly! | |
The fuckery's over 40 minutes away. | ||
This actually says there's one and a half million people there. | ||
At any given time? | ||
Probably more like that, yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
So for the fights, what about a big fight weekend? | ||
What I'm looking for? | ||
I typed in for hotels. | ||
How many people are in the hotel rooms? | ||
I guess there's 148,000 rooms. | ||
Whoa. | ||
Dude, there might be 148,000 Irish people there this weekend. | ||
Just screaming. | ||
If you're there this weekend, just pay attention because it's going to be bananas. | ||
The last time for the Mayweather fight, there was a video that someone posted of Mandalay Bay. | ||
And Mandalay Bay was not even where the fight was taking place. | ||
And the Irish had this one hallway completely filled and they were all singing. | ||
They were singing some crazy Irish song. | ||
They shut down like 6th Avenue in New York. | ||
They don't give a fuck. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's one little island. | ||
It's a little island. | ||
It's not big. | ||
They all got on a plane. | ||
It's fucking crazy. | ||
And there's a lot of us here, too. | ||
You know when I say us. | ||
I got a little in me. | ||
One quarter. | ||
There's so many more Irish or Irish... | ||
Part Irish people in America. | ||
There's more than there are Irish people in Ireland. | ||
They did a lot of fucking. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
They came over here and did a lot of fucking. | ||
And they weren't discriminated about, you know, color or creed or any of that. | ||
Meanwhile, Jamie's got a notorious t-shirt on with the Irish flag. | ||
Look at you, savage. | ||
Is that available at youngjamie.com? | ||
There's a link there if you need it. | ||
Oh my goodness. | ||
Powerful commerce. | ||
I want to try this whiskey, honestly, that he's got. | ||
Yeah, you're a whiskey expert, right? | ||
Yeah, I want to lay hands on it and see. | ||
What's a good whiskey? | ||
I actually was going to bring you a bottle of this, and I will next time, but I didn't because of respect for Sober October. | ||
Sober October may be falling apart, I'm going to tell you right now. | ||
Ladies and gentlemen, Burt Crusher's going on a cruise, and Ari Shafir and Tom Skurra both gave him the green light to drink. | ||
Because this fitness challenge is falling apart. | ||
Meanwhile, Bert is strongly in last place. | ||
Yeah, all that talk about the Mickey Mantle gene, he's not even close. | ||
But what's fascinating is Ari Shafir is very close to me. | ||
He posted today before my workout, that sneaky bitch, that he was ahead of me. | ||
But that's how close he is. | ||
He's so close that before his workout, he was like 100 points ahead of me. | ||
Before my workout, rather. | ||
After his. | ||
Now he's like 400 points behind me. | ||
But that's close. | ||
400 points is one workout. | ||
If you're an asshole and you want to get on a fucking treadmill for two hours, you can bang out 400 points. | ||
I banged out 500 today. | ||
507 at the end of the workout. | ||
You're a beast, dude. | ||
It's not a beast, man. | ||
It's boring. | ||
Red breast. | ||
I was watching Gladiator. | ||
There's little red spikes in my workout where I hit 90%. | ||
That's when the fights were happening. | ||
I got amped. | ||
You might end up doing podcasts while you're on an elliptical for the end of the month. | ||
Eh, it would suck. | ||
Red Breast is my favorite new whiskey. | ||
Red Breast? | ||
Who makes that? | ||
It's Red Breast. | ||
It's like an Irish whiskey. | ||
I'm going to bring you a bottle of the 20-year-old. | ||
It's gorgeous. | ||
20 years old? | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
It's beautiful. | ||
What was that shit that we drank with Stanhope that was really good? | ||
Was it Stanhope? | ||
No. | ||
Elon. | ||
Stanhope brought it. | ||
Yeah, old camp. | ||
Stanhope brought it. | ||
And doesn't some band make it? | ||
That's the... | ||
Florida Georgia Line or some shit? | ||
Do they make it? | ||
Is it theirs? | ||
No. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They're like a pop band. | ||
They make a good whiskey. | ||
They're like a country band, I think. | ||
Country pop. | ||
Whatever. | ||
Listen, man. | ||
If you call yourself country, but you get them fake rips in your jeans, you can go suck a bag of dips. | ||
Okay? | ||
That ain't country. | ||
Not saying that they have that. | ||
I don't even know. | ||
But you know what I'm saying? | ||
Like, those fake rips in the jeans drive me... | ||
I might have a couple little fake rips in my jeans over here. | ||
I don't think you do. | ||
I checked. | ||
Those fake rips drive me goddamn bananas. | ||
Like, what are we? | ||
We're pretending that we work hard? | ||
What are we, pretending that we've had these jeans for a long time and they're special to us? | ||
Or do we just buy them off the shelf at Macy's pre-ripped? | ||
Like, assholes. | ||
Like, where the fuck did that take place? | ||
Like, if our grandparents, who made it through the Depression, could come over here and see us buying ripped jeans, they would realize, like, what is wrong with this nerfed up, softened down, fucking shitty country we live in right now. | ||
America. | ||
It's too easy. | ||
Too easy to get by. | ||
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It is. | |
We need wolves in the streets, young Eric. | ||
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Wolves. | |
Wolves. | ||
You'll get me started, dude. | ||
Can't be running around with fucking fake rips in your jeans. | ||
I mean, I'm Brendan Schaub. | ||
One of my best friends does that. | ||
Oh, who's this? | ||
That's them. | ||
That's them with the... | ||
Ah, I nailed it! | ||
I didn't even mean to nail it. | ||
I didn't even mean that. | ||
I just took a wild guess. | ||
I don't know a goddamn thing about these fellas. | ||
Go to that other one. | ||
Go to that last picture. | ||
You're going to make me put the glasses on here. | ||
Look at those jeans. | ||
Make that bigger. | ||
He looks like he got attacked by a shark. | ||
I got some paint. | ||
Oh, you do have some. | ||
You got some fucked up shit on your jeans. | ||
I'm going to keep it real, though. | ||
I'm not going to let you go in on them and not come claim my jeans here. | ||
Listen, I should shut the fuck up. | ||
I'm basically wearing yoga pants. | ||
I got these barbell jeans on. | ||
These aren't even jeans. | ||
These are goddamn yoga pants. | ||
All jeans are made of weird, like, this ain't... | ||
I mean, well, these don't do that. | ||
These aren't even jeans, though. | ||
These are actually denim. | ||
These are, like, they might as well be spandex. | ||
I might as well be wearing yoga pants. | ||
But most pants are that now. | ||
Even the ones that look like jeans, a lot of them are that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
They feel better. | ||
It's technology. | ||
It's called advancement in human civilization. | ||
Yeah, you want to drive a car with leaf springs like an asshole? | ||
Or do you want some new magnetic... | ||
Cadillac Escalade. | ||
You want the breeze to, you know, cruise through your pants? | ||
Or you want to, you know, be sweaty all your time? | ||
The breeze from fake holes? | ||
I'll take the sweat. | ||
Like a man. | ||
I'm going to rock mine because I got skinny enough to wear these motherfuckers. | ||
Okay, I respect that. | ||
I'm going to wear these motherfuckers. | ||
And wifey likes these motherfuckers. | ||
Well, that's two pluses. | ||
Just don't wear cowboy boots. | ||
Oh, hell no. | ||
We rocking the sneakers for life, dude. | ||
My friend Cam Haynes, he wears them cowboy boots, and I just shut my mouth, looked down at those big old wooden heels, and I think Andrew Santino's bit. | ||
You ever seen Andrew Santino's bit? | ||
He's got a bit about dudes who wear cowboy boots. | ||
Holy shit, is it funny. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
Oh, look it up on the tube. | ||
I don't even know if it, he might not even put it on a special yet, but he's got a whole bit about dudes dressed up, like, with cowboy hats on and cowboy boots. | ||
It's fucking hilarious. | ||
Anyway, but I digress. | ||
What's this cow skull with the third eye? | ||
What's that? | ||
Just a sweatshirt I liked. | ||
Okay. | ||
I like it too. | ||
It's a brand called Adaptation. | ||
Hmm. | ||
Interesting. | ||
It has a fake hole in the elbow. | ||
Oh, Jesus. | ||
Sorry, dude. | ||
Jesus. | ||
Full disclosure. | ||
I'm not going to not tell the truth. | ||
What is happening with the holes? | ||
How did that happen? | ||
What happened to us? | ||
I'm sorry, dude. | ||
I'm disappointing you so much. | ||
The reality is, this is what's fucked up. | ||
Why does it look better? | ||
Because it kind of does. | ||
It kind of looks better. | ||
If you're wearing a shirt and it's got like, even if it's a new shirt, but it's got like those little holes around the collar, little tiny holes, like a little bit of rip here, a little tiny rip there. | ||
Why does it look better? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Maybe there's some psychological way of ripping things that some people are more talented at it that they just know where to make it cool. | ||
They make it look like you're comfortable. | ||
I mean, when we were young, if you had a pair of Levi's where the knee was getting thin, we would advance that shit. | ||
You know, there was something cool. | ||
Yeah, if it was like, we didn't rip them up like they do nowadays, but say you had a pair of jeans long enough, the knees would get thin. | ||
If they ripped a little, you'd just kind of run with it, maybe stress them out, rip them a little bit more. | ||
Yeah, why not? | ||
I don't like that. | ||
Oh, well. | ||
Presenting the $1,625 designer t-shirt complete with tears and holes. | ||
Okay. | ||
We can all agree. | ||
If you buy that, you're a fucking asshole. | ||
If you spent $1,000 on a t-shirt, you're kind of an asshole. | ||
The only good thing about that is I think that's a ladies t-shirt and them holes are right above them titties. | ||
And all she has to do is bend over to tie her shoes and it might not be a nip slip. | ||
It might be a nip poke through. | ||
Right? | ||
Like, look where those holes are. | ||
Quite possibly. | ||
Those titties are jutting out. | ||
Right? | ||
Look at that. | ||
You know how that works, too. | ||
She might not even be wearing that shirt. | ||
That might not even be a person, bro. | ||
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You know what I mean? | |
That might be a mannequin. | ||
Yeah, they do things and they just put different shirts on shit with Photoshop and shit now. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Yeah, but that's a stupid shirt. | ||
That's a $1,600 shirt. | ||
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There's a stupider shirt. | |
Look at this one. | ||
There's a t-shirt that has a button-down shirt sewn to the front of it. | ||
Dude, it was like on the blogs a couple weeks ago. | ||
You know what I'm talking about. | ||
See, he's in the sneaker blogs. | ||
Some of that shit leaks through and shit. | ||
So I'm like, you see like these crazy designer crazy bullshit. | ||
Do you wear Yeezys? | ||
I have a couple pairs, but I don't really wear them that much. | ||
Thank you. | ||
I'm more of a Jordan guy. | ||
You ever thought about lighting them on fire? | ||
Sometimes, like, when I, you know, the dude's kind of batshit crazy. | ||
I actually say that on his album. | ||
I say I'm batshit crazier than Ye and Sarah Palin. | ||
Oh, look at this. | ||
Yeah, that's a real thing. | ||
Oh, good lord. | ||
That's a real thing. | ||
So one side has a t-shirt, and then the other thing is sewn to the front, but it looks like it's hanging there. | ||
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Yeah, it's just hanging. | |
It is just hanging there. | ||
But it doesn't even look like you're wearing it. | ||
It's stapled to the front of your shirt. | ||
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What? | |
Hold on. | ||
Go back to that price. | ||
Yeah, $1,300. | ||
$1,300? | ||
That's what I was saying. | ||
That's worse than the t-shirt. | ||
I'm going to buy one right now. | ||
Oh my god. | ||
$1,300. | ||
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Wow. | |
For that. | ||
Did you see Kanye jumped on the table at a university? | ||
Was he talking about leaving Elon Musk alone? | ||
That dude's lost his mind, man. | ||
What's going on? | ||
I don't know, man. | ||
You know, there's a lot of people that speculate, and that's all I would say this is from me. | ||
But ever since that man's mother died, he's been on a downward spiral, like, losing his shit. | ||
I think he's suffering from some serious mental shit. | ||
No bullshit. | ||
He did get into a serious car accident, right? | ||
Broke his jaw. | ||
He was seriously injured. | ||
A few years before that. | ||
That is not a joke. | ||
No. | ||
Like brain trauma and... | ||
Listen, I'm not a doctor or anything remotely related to one, but I've been around a lot of people who've been hit in the head a lot. | ||
That shit's real. | ||
Like, that will change your brain chemistry. | ||
It's 100% legit. | ||
Like, getting hit in the head is no bueno. | ||
And car accidents will fuck people up forever. | ||
Some people. | ||
Some people are okay. | ||
They recover. | ||
Boy, there's a lot of people that come back from some significant head trauma and just, they're scrambled, man. | ||
And he might be one of those. | ||
And it also might be what I talked about in my last special, Triggered. | ||
But you live with crazy bitches long enough. | ||
I remember that. | ||
Something happens. | ||
You were talking about the soul-stealing succubi. | ||
It might be true. | ||
Dude, that was an amazing routine, I gotta tell you. | ||
Well, I was trying to figure out a way that I'd get away with making fun of Bruce Jenner without being called transphobic. | ||
I had to go a circuitous route. | ||
It was brilliant. | ||
I had to go a long route, but I had to drag Kanye in there, too. | ||
I had to drag Kanye in there, too. | ||
I had to drag Kanye in there, too. | ||
Dude, drag every male that's gone into that circle into it. | ||
Every one. | ||
Every single one. | ||
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We lost them all. | |
It's spectacular. | ||
Spooky. | ||
Lamar Odom was like a world champion basketball player, dude. | ||
He just got cracked out. | ||
Reggie Bush, what happened to him? | ||
Reggie Bush got wise and fucking bailed. | ||
He's got my old car. | ||
Reggie Bush has my 1970 Barracuda. | ||
Is that right? | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
I sold it to this other dude and this other dude sold it to Reggie and he drives around that car. | ||
It's a dope car. | ||
That is a dope car. | ||
Yeah, so he's got some taste. | ||
And he got wise. | ||
Weird things are going on over there, man. | ||
He smashed and bolted. | ||
That's how you do it. | ||
And he smashed before the fake ass came into the picture, too. | ||
That's another phenomenon I don't even understand. | ||
Diaper butt. | ||
It's like, well, I like a nice round butt. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
I like a real one. | ||
There's my car. | ||
There's Reggie Bush driving it. | ||
Well, it's not my car. | ||
It's his now. | ||
Look at that, Reggie. | ||
You glorious bastard. | ||
You had her first. | ||
Yeah, not a really good car. | ||
Really good car to look at. | ||
That's a reference. | ||
How to get rid of it. | ||
Oh yeah, that's the Ray J song, right? | ||
I didn't even realize that. | ||
I was just making an innuendo. | ||
Right. | ||
But there you go. | ||
Full circle. | ||
You wouldn't want to take second place to Reggie Bush, too. | ||
That guy is built like a brick shithouse. | ||
You know he was smashing that. | ||
Right? | ||
Whatever damage he did to that, he probably was like a car accident. | ||
Maybe all that fake ass shit came after him. | ||
You get hit by that dude? | ||
I read she used to wake up before him and get hot towels ready and put his toothpaste on his toothbrush. | ||
Smart. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Treat him like a king. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Probably just smashed it. | ||
She's probably all day just delirious, just from all the orgasms, just walking around, bumping into walls and shit. | ||
This is a picture of him and her by the pool, and you look at him and you go, that guy must be just smashing that. | ||
He's a super athlete. | ||
I mean, that guy is built like a fucking superhero. | ||
All of them, that's all they really date. | ||
Yeah, right? | ||
For the most part. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Except Kanye. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You need to settle down. | ||
Catch your breath. | ||
And he came behind a basketball player, too, right there, right? | ||
That's right. | ||
That basketball player, too. | ||
That dude who was on the show all the time. | ||
That guy was on the show all the time. | ||
Yeah. | ||
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Crazy. | |
I can't even see living your life out there in fucking public, just every fucking bit of your business. | ||
Oh, that would be a nightmare to me. | ||
Well, it's also not interesting, but yet edited so well that you just go slack jaw and you just watch. | ||
They switch from one scene to another quick enough so that you keep watching it, and when it's over, nothing happened. | ||
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Nothing. | |
And you're like, what the fuck did I do with my hour? | ||
You gave it to them, and they advertised like 18 products that they got paid for. | ||
And they made a fucking ass load of money. | ||
When you find out how much that family has made, you just go, wait, wait, wait, what? | ||
What? | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Can't hate. | ||
Can't hate. | ||
You shouldn't. | ||
You should make fun. | ||
Make fun all day. | ||
Yeah, make fun all day. | ||
Please. | ||
That's our God-given right. | ||
When you get that much money, if I get that much money, I can't even get mad no matter how much fun you make of me, no matter what I do. | ||
I could be a saint, you still could make fun of me because I got that much money. | ||
That's just the way it goes. | ||
Yeah, and you want to talk about someone out there. | ||
Those fucking people are out there. | ||
They got everything out there. | ||
Yeah, they're living like performance art. | ||
They're like living in a giant glass house on a pedestal in the middle of a city. | ||
That's where all that comes from, though. | ||
It's like, you know, the fake asses and all that. | ||
You got to keep the spectacle alive almost, you know what I mean? | ||
If it's not a spectacle, it's not interesting, like you're saying. | ||
Yeah, they have to keep changing things. | ||
If it's not an absolute spectacle to the vision... | ||
Your brain will catch on to my favorite word, fuckery. | ||
Yeah, I love that word too. | ||
It's my favorite word. | ||
It's a great word. | ||
It really is like a great... | ||
First of all, it's a word that you can get away with no matter what. | ||
It's not a word that eventually you won't be able to use anymore. | ||
Fuckery is just going to be around forever. | ||
And it is perfect for nonsense. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I've been... | ||
My English friends for years were saying fuckery. | ||
That's the thing. | ||
It's only recently catching on over here. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Really? | ||
In the last, like, you know, 10 years. | ||
I'm talking about since the 80s, I've been hearing fuckery. | ||
I'm trying to figure out when I started using it. | ||
I started using it in regards to martial arts, like fake martial arts. | ||
I use it in all kinds of cities. | ||
You can use it lightheartedly. | ||
You can use it seriously. | ||
Yeah, it works with everything. | ||
It's as versatile as just plain old fuck. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
Steve Maxwell, that's where I got it from. | ||
I started using it with Steve Maxwell. | ||
He was describing some fake martial arts, talking about... | ||
Because, you know, Steve's a black belt in jujitsu, and he's like, yeah, it's a lot of fuckery. | ||
And I was like, ooh, I like that word. | ||
It's a great word. | ||
That's a word I'm going to keep using. | ||
I just looked it up to see if there's a good definition, and it says it's also a definition for, another word for a brothel. | ||
A fuckery? | ||
A fuckery. | ||
Holy shit. | ||
Dude, you just, like, opened my brain in a new way. | ||
Of course. | ||
I was like, duh. | ||
Of course they call it a fuckery. | ||
Are you going to the fuckery? | ||
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Yeah. | |
Yeah, like a brewery, a fuckery. | ||
Oh, that's too good. | ||
Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
That never would have dawned on me had you not just told me that. | ||
A brothel, vulgar slang, uncountable sexual intercourse. | ||
What? | ||
It means that which is fucked up. | ||
That which is fucked up is... | ||
That one just fucked up. | ||
It's a hilarious definition. | ||
It is a fuckery. | ||
That is hilarious. | ||
A fuckery. | ||
I had only used it in its verb form. | ||
It's actually a noun. | ||
There is a fuckery. | ||
A fuckery. | ||
A place. | ||
A place where you can get your fuckery on. | ||
Dude, that's brand new. | ||
That's like literally brand new. | ||
The translation into French, I guess, is what it says. | ||
Oh! | ||
French. | ||
They figured out a lot of shit. | ||
Have you ever been to Paris? | ||
Oh, I love Paris. | ||
It's one of my favorite cities. | ||
Did you ever go to that place underneath that has all the skeletons? | ||
No, I have not been to the catacombs. | ||
Friends of mine have gone, though. | ||
Yeah, I want to go, man. | ||
I want to go and see that. | ||
Yeah, you can get tours and all kinds of shit like that. | ||
What was that? | ||
The people that died in the plague? | ||
Is that what it is? | ||
I think so. | ||
And they just buried them? | ||
Yeah, you know, the church put them all in the catacombs. | ||
Do you know at one time Paris had a wolf problem and people were getting killed by wolves? | ||
In recent history? | ||
1400s. | ||
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Oh, okay. | |
Look at that. | ||
Wow, look at those pictures, all those skulls. | ||
Yeah, there's a crazy story about the wolves. | ||
I have been to a place that, whenever I see pictures of this, it reminds me, there's a place in, I want to say, what country is Prague? | ||
The Czech Republic? | ||
I think it's called Kutna Hora. | ||
K-U-T-N-A-H-O-R-A. It's like a church that's built of, like, Thousands of people's skeletons, man. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
Yeah, there it is, dude. | ||
That place is bananas, man. | ||
Did you go to that, too? | ||
Oh, no, I've been there. | ||
I haven't been to the catacombs. | ||
I'm saying whenever I see pictures of the catacombs, but this place, it's like an entire church decorated, and then they have little dens of places, like altars. | ||
It's like thousands and thousands. | ||
Those are like vertebrae. | ||
Those are spines. | ||
Oh, no. | ||
There's another one where it's like all spines. | ||
Skull chandeliers. | ||
Whoa! | ||
It's crazy. | ||
That is bananas. | ||
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It's nutty. | |
Kuntna Ora. | ||
And it's, you know, you can just go there and I think you pay like a couple of whatever euros and you can walk in there. | ||
I got tons of flicks in there. | ||
It's weird when you go to those places and you realize these places are fat. | ||
Like, I was in Italy and there was a church that I went to and there was this glass floor. | ||
The church was over a thousand years old. | ||
And there's a glass floor that you walk on. | ||
Below the glass floor is the old church that the thousand-year-old church was built on. | ||
They have no idea how old the old church is. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Which church was it? | ||
It's in Ravello. | ||
It's at the top of, like, there's a bunch of cute little shops and little hotels and shit out there. | ||
Just want to make sure I check it out. | ||
And there's a small church there. | ||
Yeah, it's... | ||
The church that you could visit is more than a thousand years old. | ||
I put a picture on my Instagram of this crazy picture of what they thought a whale looked like. | ||
It was a story of, you know, who was the dude who got eaten by the whale in the Bible? | ||
Jonah. | ||
Jonah. | ||
Jonah and the whale. | ||
And it's like in a mosaic on the wall. | ||
But it's like what they thought a whale was. | ||
It's like... | ||
You know, before they had photos, some dude would, like, draw you a picture of some shit he saw. | ||
Like, this is what a whale looks like, my friend. | ||
And then, you know, some other dude who never saw a whale would make a mosaic of this shit and put it on the wall. | ||
It's just so weird. | ||
We went to the place that got fucked up by the volcano, too. | ||
Pompeii. | ||
Pompeii, yeah. | ||
I've been to Pompeii. | ||
That was fascinating, too. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
See people just instantly... | ||
20 feet of ash, just covered in ash. | ||
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Just... | |
Can't even imagine. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Just one minute, nothing, and then next minute, a little earthquake. | ||
And while you're there, you can see the volcano. | ||
It's right there. | ||
Still active, yeah? | ||
I don't know. | ||
I mean, I don't think it's had a real issue in a long time. | ||
See if you find that Instagram picture of Jonah and the whale. | ||
That's scary shit, man. | ||
It's from July. | ||
Volcanoes, man. | ||
Hawaii. | ||
Everything going on there. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's nutty, man. | ||
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Just... | |
Scary. | ||
Getting... | ||
I read a story of, like, somebody didn't touch the lava. | ||
They just got within, like, a couple inches of it and, like... | ||
Burnt themselves? | ||
Like, melted their skin, like, off. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Not even getting, like, actually hit by it. | ||
You get hit by it, your shit's dissolving. | ||
Oh, you can cook on it. | ||
You can slap a steak on that bitch. | ||
It would dissolve. | ||
No, it wouldn't. | ||
It wouldn't. | ||
It's not the best conductor of heat. | ||
You know, you slap a steak on that, sear it, flip it. | ||
They take one second. | ||
There was some crazy chef did this where they took molten iron and they poured it down this chute. | ||
And as it was going down the chute, they slapped steaks on it. | ||
It was like they were cooking on this hot molten iron. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
Yeah. | ||
People get bored. | ||
I wonder if it tasted anything. | ||
Probably tastes like shit. | ||
Probably ruined a good steak. | ||
Probably tastes like molten fucking whatever the fuck. | ||
Yeah, like molten dirt. | ||
Did you see the video of the lava consuming that Mustang? | ||
Did you see that video? | ||
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Yes! | |
It just dissolved. | ||
If you got payments and you just fucking, damn man, this car is killing me. | ||
These payments are killing me. | ||
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Just park that bitch while that lava is coming. | |
In Hawaii. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Watch it get melted. | ||
Set up a camera. | ||
Can't imagine there's a lot of Mustangs over there either. | ||
That probably is. | ||
A lot of American cars over there. | ||
They buy a lot of Toyotas because they don't break. | ||
Oh, and they're small. | ||
Yeah. | ||
But it's also like you don't... | ||
You know, everything has to get flown over there, so you don't want anything to break. | ||
Super expensive, man. | ||
Yeah, everything. | ||
Food, housing. | ||
Stuff is more expensive there than, like, the only other place that was comparable to me was Perth. | ||
Really? | ||
Well, because everything's the same difference. | ||
It's the furthest, like, city, like, isolated by itself. | ||
In Australia? | ||
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Yeah. | |
I think maybe in the world. | ||
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Really? | |
Like, away from any other major city. | ||
That makes sense, right? | ||
Because Australia is as big as the United States. | ||
Yeah, and it's really the only major city on the West Coast that you hit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
How big is it? | ||
How big is Perth? | ||
It's like, I don't know how many people, but it's like a city, you know. | ||
Do you perform there a lot? | ||
Not a lot. | ||
It's been probably almost 10 years since I've been in Australia. | ||
I love Australia, but I do not love that fucking flight, baby. | ||
It's tough. | ||
Woo, that's a rough flight. | ||
It takes a minute to get over that shit. | ||
Yeah, you land and you're like... | ||
Where am I? For a couple days. | ||
There it is. | ||
That's what they thought a whale looked like. | ||
Like, what the fuck is that, man? | ||
It's like a fish with a lion head. | ||
Like, look, that's what they thought Jonah and the whale looked like. | ||
That's hilarious. | ||
A thousand years ago. | ||
Strange, right? | ||
Like, dude was trying to make a run for it, obviously. | ||
Yeah, look at him. | ||
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Look at him. | |
He's like, I'm going to get the fuck away from this. | ||
That dude kind of looks like me. | ||
That's a little disturbing. | ||
He's like, let me get out of here. | ||
Bald-headed dude with a beard, trying to get away from this lion fish with wings thing. | ||
But that's what they thought a whale was. | ||
Craziness. | ||
Just imagine what it was like living a thousand years ago when there was... | ||
No pictures. | ||
Oh, is that the glass floor? | ||
Yeah, that's my feet right there. | ||
So you're in this church, the church is a thousand years old, and that, go back to that last one, Jamie? | ||
That one, that's the glass floor, and then you look down, and they have this entirely different church underneath it that's way older. | ||
They don't know how old it is, been there forever, could be several thousand years old. | ||
The church is gorgeous though. | ||
There's a lot of those churches, and you've been to the Vatican, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's the mindfuck of all mindfucks. | ||
Yeah, that's crazy. | ||
Like St. Peter's Basilica, and you're walking around that place, and you're just like, what? | ||
How? | ||
How did people do this? | ||
It's retarded, man. | ||
It's unbelievable. | ||
The whole Vatican. | ||
No power saws. | ||
Nothing. | ||
No fucking cranes. | ||
Everything was like ladders and shit. | ||
And the paintings and the art are just insane. | ||
Stunning. | ||
Stunning. | ||
Billions of dollars worth of art. | ||
And the whole area, the whole Vatican is essentially its own country. | ||
Yeah. | ||
So they can keep those kid fuckers over there. | ||
And they never have to export them. | ||
Yeah. | ||
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That's... | |
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's the darkest of the dark. | ||
No argument here. | ||
Nobody can, man. | ||
They'll try. | ||
People get mad. | ||
And look, I get it. | ||
I was a Catholic for a little bit. | ||
That's a dark, dark institution. | ||
There is no denying it. | ||
I mean, they've just busted another group of priests in Pennsylvania. | ||
Molested more than a thousand kids. | ||
Moving them around. | ||
Not charging them. | ||
Organized religion in general is the biggest mind control that's ever existed. | ||
You know, trying to control populations. | ||
What's the best way? | ||
Make you believe a certain thing. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
But there's better ones. | ||
There's some that you go... | ||
Oh, for sure. | ||
For sure. | ||
What have the Baptists have done? | ||
What have they done that's so terrible? | ||
There's no Baptist scandals like that, large-scale scandals. | ||
Even the Mormons, they've had a few dudes who wanted more than one bride. | ||
They got greedy. | ||
More than a few. | ||
There's a whole part of their thing that that's how they still live. | ||
And there's some sects that branched off and got real freaky. | ||
On the scale that the Catholic Church has done things, it's unprecedented. | ||
Unprecedented. | ||
Completely. | ||
Yeah, because they actively shield these people from prosecution. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And they keep it all in-house. | ||
I mean, aren't people actually getting, like, I've heard some things like they're going after, like, cardinals and shit, like, criminally. | ||
Well, that is why the Pope had to step down. | ||
The last Pope had to step down because they wanted to prosecute him for crimes against humanity. | ||
Oh yeah, because he was one of the dudes who orchestrated a lot of that stuff. | ||
The guy right before the... | ||
He moved a guy who went on to molest a hundred deaf children. | ||
Yeah, I remember reading stuff about that. | ||
It's dark, man. | ||
And it's one of those things where people, you know, it's been a part of their family. | ||
It's been a part of their family's family. | ||
It's been a part of their history. | ||
They go to church. | ||
They pay their respects. | ||
Everything's okay. | ||
They don't want to hear it. | ||
People don't want to hear it. | ||
But it's over. | ||
The evidence is just so overwhelming. | ||
There's so much awful shit that's attached to that church. | ||
I mean, who's denying it is the point? | ||
I mean, I think, you know, I just think, again, people, like you're saying, you get, I was raised Catholic. | ||
I just, by the time I was like, they did this thing called confirmation, which is sort of like a similar thing to the time that you're becoming a man, you're making your own choices. | ||
An adult, because it wasn't just men, but... | ||
By the time I did that and realized, okay, there's a little too much magic going on for me. | ||
I like factual, knowledgeable things. | ||
If these people really existed, what were they really like? | ||
I'm not buying into the fact that anybody on this earth didn't take a shit like I took a shit. | ||
We all take the same shits. | ||
It'd be nice if someone came up with a good religion, a real solid Lockdown one. | ||
I mean, there is one. | ||
I mean, we all just would have to agree on it. | ||
How about just the golden rule? | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That could basically be a religion in itself. | ||
The church of universal law. | ||
You know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. | ||
And you could hold corporations to that. | ||
You could be like all right. | ||
We start what's what's more powerful than 10 million people on a Facebook page that are Watching these corporations in the minute they say hey You're not giving back to the community or taking care of the people that are taking care of you That's easily done, but it takes work. | ||
It's a good point. | ||
It's easily done if everybody in the world just really treated the next person like they wanted to be treated themselves I There you go. | ||
And did it as a law, right? | ||
And then we held people accountable to that. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You are not responding to the universal law, the universal golden rule. | ||
You know, it sounds super simple, but I mean, it took a lot of work, but the principle is simple. | ||
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Right. | |
And all the other stuff, like all other forms of commerce and everything else would still fall under that. | ||
Just like you could do whatever you want as long as you're treating people kindly. | ||
Exactly. | ||
Like ideally commerce and capitalism, all that stuff should be real simple. | ||
Like you have a great CD. You want to sell it. | ||
You want 20 bucks for it. | ||
Somebody gives you 20 bucks. | ||
They're happy. | ||
You're happy. | ||
That should be commerce, right? | ||
Yeah. | ||
It should be you sell something, people buy it, everybody's good. | ||
But then you Greedy. | ||
You know, like, if we can figure out a way to corner this market and keep other people from selling this or selling that, or we've got to stop people from growing this, because if they grow this and sell that, then we... | ||
No, you're not doing what's best for... | ||
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
You're not doing what you would want them to do to you. | ||
Exactly. | ||
So you're breaking the law. | ||
Violation of the golden rule. | ||
If, you know... | ||
I've thought about it, obviously, before. | ||
Like, hey, man, what would be... | ||
And I'm like, yeah, that'd be a really cool thing to do. | ||
That would be the way. | ||
Somebody with enough charisma could pull it off and get people to get behind it. | ||
That's really all it would take, is people getting behind it. | ||
Yeah, but the problem is there's so many people that just... | ||
We're seeing this with politics, right? | ||
Like, I'm fascinated by these Kavanaugh hearings. | ||
Like, I watch little clips of it before I just have to tune out and get the fuck away from it. | ||
Talk about fuckery. | ||
Talk about fuckery. | ||
I mean, I don't know what that dude did or what he didn't do, but I think what's happening is more than that. | ||
What's happening is, first of all, he was a big part of the Patriot Act. | ||
He's involved in some issues that a lot of people are very concerned with in terms of his position and his stance on privacy and on rights. | ||
Absolutely. | ||
There's more to it than just, did you fuck with someone in high school? | ||
Did you sexually assault someone? | ||
Did you do that when you were 18? | ||
Do you remember? | ||
There's more to it than that. | ||
They don't want that guy in there. | ||
And then you're seeing all the people that want to pretend that he's the best guy ever and all the people... | ||
It's craziness, man. | ||
It's fascinating. | ||
It's really fascinating. | ||
It's fascinating to watch because it's essentially like a... | ||
a less like the the Clarence Thomas hearings from was it like the 1980s I believe the Clarence Thomas I feel like that was late 80s early 90s yeah somewhere around there Clarence Thomas that was like with Anita Hill where he had sexually harassed her they were working together and she came on the whatever coke or something do you know that he's now the longest-running member of the Supreme Court He's now been in the Supreme Court longer, I think. | ||
I read that. | ||
Check to make sure that's true. | ||
Isn't Ruth Bader Ginsburg, how did she be on there longer? | ||
Longest serving, 26 years as of October 4th. | ||
He will be. | ||
He will be, yeah. | ||
Crazy. | ||
Crazy. | ||
Yeah, so it didn't work. | ||
Neat as hell's out there living with the memory of pubic errors on Coke. | ||
I had a movie now, an HBO movie not too long ago. | ||
Oh yeah! | ||
Did you watch it? | ||
I saw it. | ||
Was it okay? | ||
It was a pretty good movie. | ||
We lived through it, so it's like whenever I see movies about the OJ trial or something, I'm like, we saw it live for like 700 days. | ||
I'm always fascinated by those movies because of creative license. | ||
Like if you do a movie on Richard Nixon, right? | ||
Are you sure he said that? | ||
Or even crazier, you do a movie on Lincoln. | ||
Bitch, you don't know what the fuck he said. | ||
You can't possibly, unless he wrote it down. | ||
Yeah, you're having him say a bunch of shit day to day, talking to his wife and kids. | ||
You don't know what the fuck he said. | ||
That's pretty funny. | ||
You're just making this up. | ||
This is weird that we're allowed to do that. | ||
You're allowed to just put some words in George Washington's mouth. | ||
Like, you don't know what the fuck George Washington said. | ||
You know? | ||
Have you seen this movie coming out? | ||
Yes. | ||
Christian Bale's Dick Cheney. | ||
Dude, it looks amazing. | ||
Steve Carell's Donald Rumsfeld. | ||
Christian Bale is a fucking bad motherfucker. | ||
His acting as Dick Cheney is off the charts. | ||
I mean, he does the voice. | ||
He got fat for it. | ||
Everything. | ||
That's him. | ||
Whoa. | ||
Dude. | ||
There's the video of, first of all, him and Sam Rockwell as George Bush. | ||
He's amazing, too. | ||
Sam Rockwell is one of the most underappreciated actors. | ||
What's the name of this movie? | ||
Vice. | ||
Vice. | ||
It's amazing, dude. | ||
Sam Rockwell nails it as George Bush. | ||
Here, play the trailer. | ||
Will they pull us? | ||
It's too new. | ||
You gotta pull us, but I'll let you guys see it. | ||
Son of a bitch. | ||
Let me turn it up. | ||
Folks who are listening to this on YouTube, we can't play this for you, but... | ||
I mean... | ||
That's weird. | ||
They wouldn't want you to, like, play their trailer. | ||
Well, they want everybody to go to their trailer. | ||
True. | ||
Oh, yeah, it streams. | ||
That shit makes... | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
You're right. | ||
It's just so good. | ||
He just does an amazing job of the voice, the mannerisms, and so does Sam Rockwell. | ||
Yeah, well, they're both incredible actors. | ||
Sam Rockwell's a badass. | ||
Did you ever see Sam Rockwell in that movie, The Moon? | ||
Is it The Moon or Moon? | ||
I'm not sure. | ||
It's a movie where he is the only person in the movie. | ||
The entire movie is him. | ||
I don't want to spoiler alert it, but it has to do with cloning. | ||
And it's him on the moon, like him or him in space. | ||
It's fucking amazing. | ||
It's an amazing movie. | ||
And it's just him. | ||
I love where he was Chuck Beres. | ||
Yes! | ||
That was an amazing movie, man. | ||
Dude, he's a beast. | ||
This guy is a fucking incredible actor, and he just doesn't get enough credit. | ||
I think he might be married to her now, or maybe they're still dating, but he was dating Leslie Bibb when I did a movie with her. | ||
I got a chance to meet him, and I was a little bit starstruck. | ||
I'm a big, giant fan of that guy. | ||
But he's one of those guys that I feel like I want to say, like, dude, you're fucking amazing. | ||
Like, I don't know if anybody's telling you, because you're fucking amazing. | ||
Because it's like, you know, you hear about the great actors. | ||
You hear Daniel Day-Lewis. | ||
You hear Gary Oldman. | ||
You know, you hear Christian Bale. | ||
You hear the great actors. | ||
Faye Dunaway, Sigourney Weavner. | ||
You don't hear about Sam Rockwell. | ||
Why not, Jamie? | ||
Why not, goddammit? | ||
Maybe you will after this movie. | ||
Maybe. | ||
unidentified
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I feel like he's never been nominated for anything. | |
Probably was. | ||
Probably was for Moon. | ||
He was nominated for a few things. | ||
The one that just came out last year, the Three Billboards. | ||
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Oh, yeah. | |
That's what I was thinking. | ||
I just remember hearing about him. | ||
He's just one of them dudes, too. | ||
When you're that good of an actor, you blend into these movies so good, it's not Sam Walkwell. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That's almost a compliment to the dude. | ||
Now, should he be more of the leading guy in doing those big roles? | ||
Yeah, I agree. | ||
He's an amazing actor. | ||
But he's done some really big things, man. | ||
He's one of them dudes that just blends too good. | ||
You know who's another one like that? | ||
Viggo Mortensen. | ||
Yes! | ||
Everything he's in, you just lose it. | ||
He's in it. | ||
He's that guy. | ||
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|
Yeah. | |
The one where he was the Eastern Promises. | ||
Yes. | ||
That was a good one. | ||
The Russian Mob movie? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
Yes. | ||
And then what? | ||
The Year of Violence that he did? | ||
That was a good one, too. | ||
That was a good one. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
The Road freaked me out. | ||
I had turned it off when he was teaching his son how to shoot himself in the mouth. | ||
It feels like, done. | ||
We're good. | ||
I don't need to watch this. | ||
I'll watch The Flintstones. | ||
That book is fucking crazy. | ||
That's what I heard. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I heard the book's too crazy. | ||
Dark, man. | ||
It's one of those things, it's like... | ||
It's a taste that stays with you a little too long. | ||
You want it to go away. | ||
Yeah, there's a few of those movies that are just so depressing. | ||
When you leave, you're like, what did I do? | ||
Like, I don't want to be depressed. | ||
I know that it was good. | ||
I know you nailed it. | ||
I know you dragged my emotions through the mud. | ||
I played myself once on tour. | ||
It was like back when the Tower Records and those things were still around. | ||
Like on Tuesdays, the movies and the records would all come out. | ||
So we were on tour. | ||
We would stop and buy a bunch of shit for the bus, buy records. | ||
I bought a bunch of movies and I threw on Magnolia had just come out. | ||
I watched that and I was like, oh wow, that was fucking fucked up. | ||
And then without looking, I just grabbed the next movie and put it in, and it was Titus Andronicus. | ||
And I don't know if you're hip to this. | ||
It's like one of the darkest fucking Shakespeare fucking plays ever about this. | ||
I mean, if you ain't seen it, when you got the wherewithal to sit through some real fucking darkness, Anthony Hopkins is fucking insane in this movie as Titus Andronicus. | ||
It's fucking dark. | ||
So I watched these two movies back to back, and for two weeks, Joe, I can't shake the, like, just... | ||
Depressing, like, oh my god, there's no happy endings anywhere. | ||
From then on, I'll only watch comedies and fucking Pixar movies and old Warner Brothers cartoons out there on the road, man. | ||
Is he eating dinner while people are hanging in front of him? | ||
Do you want to know? | ||
You're never going to watch this, right? | ||
He's about to cut them up and make dinner out of them and serve them to their families. | ||
It's dark, man. | ||
It's dark. | ||
It's really dark. | ||
It is the darkest Shakespeare-like thing I've ever read or seen. | ||
unidentified
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Okay. | |
That's enough. | ||
And that was right after Magnolia. | ||
I watched that. | ||
Man, a double whammy. | ||
Double whammy, dude. | ||
Oh, it was horrible. | ||
Remember that movie, 21 Grams? | ||
Yeah. | ||
That movie swore me off at depressing movies. | ||
After that movie was over, I left the theater. | ||
I'm like, why did I do that to myself? | ||
Yeah. | ||
I was in such a good mood. | ||
Yeah, who wants to leave a place with that feeling? | ||
Doesn't life give you that enough? | ||
I was all happy. | ||
I was all happy, feeling good. | ||
I walked into that movie and I left going, what in the actual fuck? | ||
What am I doing here? | ||
As DJ Khaled would say, you played yourself. | ||
Played myself, yeah. | ||
Other people said it before him, but he's like known for it. | ||
It's funny how that happens, right? | ||
Where a dude just says something just right. | ||
And then everybody just connects it to him. | ||
He had a string of them. | ||
He had a bunch of his little, you know, men of meeting, you know, he's got the New Deal alerts. | ||
He's a bastion of these little sayings that just people catch on to. | ||
He's got a lot of good things going for him. | ||
He's unthreatening looking because he's kind of a big chubby guy. | ||
People like him because of that. | ||
You know, there's a lot of good things going. | ||
Positive energy. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
A lot of energy. | ||
Likes shiny flashy shit that a lot of other people like. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And he can afford it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
That's nice. | ||
Hashtag ballin'. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Gotta do it. | ||
Yeah, I guess so. | ||
He's part of that lifestyle. | ||
That's a crazy lifestyle. | ||
Kanye's a part of that lifestyle too, right? | ||
But in a weird way. | ||
He's a weird part of that lifestyle. | ||
He's never been on that jewelry scene. | ||
But he's big on design and Ferraris and Lamborghinis and beautiful houses and shit like that. | ||
I'm not that aware of what he... | ||
Yeah, design. | ||
I know just from what I know of him that he longs to be Ralph Lauren. | ||
That's really his... | ||
Probably if you said who is your biggest influencer, who would you want to be? | ||
Ralph Lauren. | ||
Yeah, that's kind of hilarious. | ||
But he just loves design, right? | ||
Loves clothes. | ||
I guess. | ||
Yeah, I mean, why not? | ||
Somebody's gotta. | ||
I mean, he, you know, a lot of that stuff he was doing was looking like homeless people's clothing, you know, too. | ||
It was like derelict right out of fucking Soolander. | ||
Did you see that one picture that Jamie showed me? | ||
He was walking around with slides, Yeezy slides on, but they were like four sizes too small. | ||
It didn't make any sense. | ||
His heels hanging off the back of them. | ||
That's the way he designed them. | ||
Exactly. | ||
That's like he's probably trying to push a new thing. | ||
Yeah, he's like, here. | ||
Tiny Yeezy slides. | ||
Too small for your feet. | ||
Two small Yeezy slides. | ||
There you go. | ||
Yeah, that's the new look. | ||
Like, you know, if you're crazy, you might think things like that. | ||
It's crazy to me because there's an era of his career that I look at and I'm like, wow, man, there's a lot of genius shit he was doing musically. | ||
A lot of records he was doing. | ||
And then I don't know what it is, but to me now, And I don't say this really in a judgmental way, but he's a professional troll now. | ||
Just like that's the most successful people in the entertainment business now, if you're not an amazing actor or a super amazing, you know, whatever, is like just keeping people trolling. | ||
I remember he literally dropped a song like at some point like eight months ago where that was like poopity scoop. | ||
unidentified
|
Scoopity poopity boop. | |
And that was the song. | ||
It lasted that long. | ||
Yeah, Jamie came and played for me where he told me the lyrics and I told him to shut the fuck up. | ||
No, but it's like, it's again, it's the spectacle. | ||
Get that away from me, Jamie. | ||
You stop putting this evil in my head. | ||
It's the spectacle. | ||
Like, I mean, I made this album here. | ||
That's music. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
This is music. | ||
A lot of people don't give a fuck anymore. | ||
Well, you're not that guy. | ||
You've never been a, I need publicity guy. | ||
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Never. | |
Here's what it is. | ||
Here's what that is. | ||
It's like people like to fucking speculate about what I do or my career. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
I've written a few songs in this life that I could go somewhere and sit down and just sit on a fucking stump and eat food for the rest of my life and never worry. | ||
I could feed my family and all that off of a few songs. | ||
I make music because I love making music. | ||
Of course, you want people to listen. | ||
You want more people to listen. | ||
I'm not saying I don't want fame or all that. | ||
One of the first things, the first time I ever came on your podcast was I like going to Ralph's And sitting at the olive bar and fucking getting my olives while my song's playing on the radio and the guy standing right next to me has no fucking idea. | ||
I don't mind that at all. | ||
That doesn't bother me. | ||
I love it. | ||
Yeah, you're not a need attention kind of a guy and some people are and that's sort of part of their business like this whole Kanye Donald Trump thing I just I wonder if that's trolling but I also wonder if what we were talking about earlier about car accidents and brain damage I wonder if that's a little bit of everything but also the reason I Say it's trolling is because there's Likes and stuff, when you get to Kardashian, Kanye West levels of... | ||
And I'm sure you know this. | ||
You have four fucking million Instagram followers. | ||
I didn't start Instagram until you told me to. | ||
I know that. | ||
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But what I'm saying is like... | |
You could monetize that shit really easily, those four million people. | ||
You're not selling that shit out. | ||
These people, they are definitely monetizing that shit. | ||
Fucking when Kim Kardashian gets on there, she doesn't give you a commercial, but she'll tell you, oh, I'm just using this new cream on my shit. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Somebody paid her $150. | ||
Fucking 50 grand for that post. | ||
So the more eyes, the better. | ||
That's really what they're monetizing. | ||
If I had 10 million people on my Instagram, I could sell fucking posts. | ||
The real problem with that is people don't believe them. | ||
But their eyes are still on it. | ||
If I say I like something, it's because I like it. | ||
People accuse me of having ads. | ||
I've never had a single ad on my Instagram. | ||
If I tell people about a product and people are like, what are you doing? | ||
Are you getting paid for this? | ||
Like, nope. | ||
Nope. | ||
I just like it. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Sharing something I thought you might think is cool. | ||
This is a cool product. | ||
I've done it a few times, but I usually say, hey, I'm not getting fucking paid. | ||
I have to now. | ||
I do now. | ||
I say this is not an ad. | ||
I like this. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Plus, I ain't got enough Instagram followers to get paid. | ||
I bet you do. | ||
I got like 70,000 or something. | ||
That's all you need. | ||
Jamie was saying you need 70,000. | ||
That's the exact number. | ||
First of all, you know I don't give a fuck. | ||
I know you don't give a fuck, but if you did, if you were a chick with a fake butt, you might be able to get a little chata. | ||
unidentified
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I might have 4 million followers if I was a chick with a fake butt. | |
A little chata. | ||
Yeah, you might, right? | ||
You might have 20. Look at this. | ||
Kim Kardashian's got 118 million followers. | ||
It's just, wow. | ||
Good googly moogly. | ||
Okay, and let's say, what do they say? | ||
If you're actually good at social media, maybe 10% of your audience engages you. | ||
So that's still 10 million people that will engage with her. | ||
That's a lot of fuck people, son. | ||
I believe, I threw that number out there, just kind of. | ||
That sounds about right. | ||
Yeah. | ||
A lot of goddamn people. | ||
unidentified
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Woo! | |
Crazy. | ||
Yeah, it's a weird business, man. | ||
That's famous now. | ||
Like when we were young, famous was, you know, if you're on TV or the radio, you know, or, you know, if you did something in life, wrote a book, wrote a play or a movie, you know what I mean? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Invented the plane. | ||
And that's what got you famous. | ||
Now you just got to keep eyes on you doing fucked up shit. | ||
I was thinking about that today while I was watching Gladiator. | ||
Because when I was watching that movie, I was thinking, in the Roman times, there was no accountability. | ||
Like, for emperors, you could do all kinds of fucked up shit, and no one could do anything about it. | ||
Either they killed you eventually, or you got away with it for a long period of time. | ||
But today, you know, like... | ||
There's so much accountability. | ||
People find out what awful things you've done. | ||
They find out you've stolen money or had people killed or took over this or dominated that. | ||
To be a... | ||
To be a dictator like a Kim Jong-un, someone along those lines, today you have to keep those people locked up. | ||
And he's barely keeping that together. | ||
They barely have an internet. | ||
It amazes me how they can. | ||
There's not a whole scene there of people with the internet sneaking it in. | ||
You know what they did? | ||
Everybody rats and everybody else there. | ||
They have a whole system of ratting on people. | ||
They have a culture of rats. | ||
And they believe their leader is a god or something of that nature. | ||
They just don't want to die, man. | ||
They're scared and they're hungry and they don't have any power and they don't have any energy because they're eating just rice and fucking starving to death. | ||
I can't even imagine it. | ||
When they catch those dudes that sneak across the border, you know, that make a run for it, when they get them and bring them to hospitals and patch them up and shit, they find all these crazy parasites in them, massive malnutrition. | ||
And these are soldiers, like North Korean soldiers. | ||
They're just all fucked up. | ||
But that's a window into time. | ||
Like, if you went back into the Roman days, that's how everybody was rocking it. | ||
They were all dominating their people and using iron fist and keep these generals well fed and keep the army well fed and use it to dominate the civilians and... | ||
I mean, I know Gladiator is just a movie. | ||
It's just fake and, you know, fun. | ||
But still, you gotta wonder. | ||
How close was that to life back then? | ||
And how bad did it smell? | ||
Oh! | ||
Tubes of shit running down the street. | ||
There used to be a show on HBO called Rome. | ||
And they had this one scene, I remember it, where they were all in a public toilet. | ||
A shittery? | ||
Shittery. | ||
Sure, shittery. | ||
And they handed them like... | ||
What at the time was, I guess, the toilet paper, which was like... | ||
You know, calfskin rags or something. | ||
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And they fucking like wipe their ass and they walk out and throw it in a pile. | |
It's like, how could that have smelled? | ||
If that's accurate. | ||
If that's accurate. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Well, that looks pretty accurate. | ||
Yeah, there it is. | ||
Roman public toilets. | ||
And they would go into like a tube and that tube would go right down the street. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Imagine how the whole city smelled, man. | ||
Like shit. | ||
Well, that's one of the reasons why all those people got sick. | ||
Like when a disease would spread through the city, I mean, there was no sanitation. | ||
It was terrible. | ||
They didn't have like flushable things, right? | ||
Nothing flushed. | ||
I mean, they had developed aqueducts, so they just had a system of flowing water, but it wasn't pressurized or anything, so it just had to pick it up. | ||
One of the things that was cool about Pompeii was they had a sauna. | ||
They had figured out how to boil water, and then they had the water would go through the floor and the walls. | ||
They had like double-spaced walls, so they had one outside wall and an inside wall, and the heat would go through. | ||
And it would go like through, and so you could go into this sauna, just like a regular sauna here, and it'd be hot as fuck in there. | ||
Yeah, there was Pompey Sauna. | ||
That's it. | ||
Like, they figured out how to make things pretty cool for what they had. | ||
But fuck living back there. | ||
But meanwhile, tell me people aren't going to think like that a thousand years from now about us. | ||
Those dummies shitting into a ceramic bowl and then hitting the water to flush it away. | ||
Idiots. | ||
I can't imagine what it's going to be like. | ||
Dude, we installed these toilets here that shoot hot water up your butt. | ||
You know those? | ||
Up or just cleaning it? | ||
It can go right in the hole. | ||
Wow. | ||
It shoots right in that hole. | ||
You got to be careful. | ||
It feels like you have to take a shit because it gets up in there and you're like, oh, I have to shit again. | ||
But no, it's just the water's literally getting through the door. | ||
But it cleans your butthole so nice. | ||
And after you have one of those, you're like, why would I ever use a regular toilet? | ||
Jamie says he holds his shit. | ||
I remember the first time I experienced one of those was like in the 90s in Japan. | ||
Yes, Japan. | ||
Yeah, that's why I experienced it too. | ||
Yeah, but for me it was just a few years ago. | ||
But Jamie says he holds his shit. | ||
Is that correct? | ||
Well preferred versus my home toilet. | ||
Yeah, like why shit at home? | ||
If you kind of have to ship, be like, I could keep this one at bay for a little bit. | ||
Honestly, in Europe, a bidet is a normal thing in a hotel room. | ||
It's not here as much. | ||
It's not as good, though. | ||
I have a bidet in my house. | ||
I never used it once. | ||
It's a magazine rack. | ||
I throw magazines there. | ||
Wash your hands. | ||
Yeah, it's just weird. | ||
It's weird. | ||
It just doesn't work as good. | ||
And I think it's more for women. | ||
It's a cooter cleanser. | ||
Yeah, kind of. | ||
But here's something funny. | ||
I just did this tour of Europe, and we started noticing, and I'm not going to name countries, because I have fans and all of them. | ||
I don't want anyone to get upset. | ||
But we noticed there's a different... | ||
Of some countries, you get washcloths in your bathroom, and some countries you don't. | ||
And me and my band came to the conclusion that from now on, whenever we come to these countries where you don't get the washcloths in your hotel room, we're not going to shake hands with people anymore. | ||
Because why don't you have washcloths in the bathroom? | ||
I don't get it. | ||
Yeah, what are you washing your hands with, bro? | ||
You can wash your hands like this. | ||
What are you washing your arse with, man? | ||
Shoving your hand crack up there? | ||
What are you doing? | ||
What are you doing? | ||
I don't mind if you wash your face with your hands or your hands with your hands, but I can't find a washcloth in your city. | ||
It's a little strange. | ||
Dude, I went to Thailand this summer. | ||
They have garden hoses attached to the toilet. | ||
They don't fuck around with all that hot, spicy food. | ||
They know it's going to come out messy, so they give you a goddamn garden hose to clean your asshole with. | ||
Where is this? | ||
Thailand! | ||
In Thailand? | ||
Everywhere. | ||
Even the airport. | ||
Went to the toilet at the airport. | ||
Right next to the shitbox was this goddamn garden hose. | ||
I mean like one you would wash the car with. | ||
Like the pistol grip one. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And just, woo! | ||
Just get that fucker back there and woo-woo! | ||
There it is, right there. | ||
Garden hose. | ||
Bum gun. | ||
Bum gun, they call it. | ||
Bum gun, wow. | ||
Toilet hose in Thailand. | ||
Keep yourself clean with a squirt of water. | ||
Yeah, a squirt. | ||
That shit could move a boat across a dock. | ||
First things first. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wow, the direction our conversation's taken today. | ||
Yeah, test the water pressure before you use it. | ||
The British called the toilet hose the bum gun for a good reason. | ||
The nozzle at the end of the hose is shaped a bit like a gun with a trigger that you press to release the water. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yeah, they don't fuck around in Thailand. | ||
I haven't been to Thailand, obviously. | ||
It's beautiful there. | ||
People are so nice. | ||
It's one of the friendliest places I've ever been in my life, like universally friendly. | ||
And everybody looks at you and they all do this. | ||
They make their hands like a lotus flower. | ||
That's what they do. | ||
They don't shake hands a lot. | ||
They just touch their hands together and give you like a little bow. | ||
Is there washcloths? | ||
Their hands are tired from holding onto that hose, squeezing that bum gun. | ||
Something. | ||
But the food there is fucking amazing. | ||
If you like Thai food, man, you learn from the way they cook it in the motherland with all those fresh ingredients. | ||
I do love Thai food. | ||
I love Thai food. | ||
Are you a spicy guy? | ||
Do you like spicy? | ||
Sands being in Thailand, this spot, I was in a place in Melbourne, Australia, we spoke about earlier, the hottest Thai food I ever had in my life. | ||
Like, so hot you're sweating and you can't stop eating it because the minute you stop eating it, you're gonna catch fire. | ||
Have you ever been to Exotic Thai over on Ventura in Woodland Hills? | ||
I feel like I have. | ||
Super legit. | ||
Exotic Thai. | ||
Bunch of Thai people running. | ||
Super nice people. | ||
Food is jamming. | ||
There's a spot right here close, not far from our general area. | ||
Jasmine Thai. | ||
Oh yeah. | ||
Yeah, that's a good one too. | ||
There's a bunch of good Thai restaurants in LA. What's that place on Sunset that's open real late? | ||
Oh, right there next to Toy. | ||
Toy. | ||
Toy is great too, man. | ||
That's a great late night spot. | ||
Like legit Thai food. | ||
You get it at two o'clock in the morning. | ||
You know, after you set at the comedy store. | ||
The Thai iced teas are amazing. | ||
That shit's terrible for your diabetes though. | ||
That's like 180 grams of sugar. | ||
But it's so delicious. | ||
Once a year. | ||
So delicious. | ||
But honestly, I used to drink so much Coke. | ||
That's another, when we talked about weight, that's the first thing I got rid of, man, was drinking Coca-Cola. | ||
Weight falls off. | ||
About 20 pounds of the 30. Isn't that crazy? | ||
35 now. | ||
Just falls off. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
You realize, like, what was I doing? | ||
Yeah. | ||
What was I doing to myself? | ||
That and just a little bit of cardio, and I was like... | ||
Every other day, I was like, whoa. | ||
I just lost, like I said, 35 now because I dropped five pounds out on the road that I didn't even realize. | ||
Not even weren't trying. | ||
Wow. | ||
Just continuing to be healthy. | ||
And I think that food in Europe is a lot cleaner just in general. | ||
Yep, yep. | ||
Well, they don't have a lot of our... | ||
First of all, their wheat is what you would call heirloom wheat. | ||
They don't have a lot of the complex glutens in our wheat that make it a little bit more difficult to process. | ||
This is all a real thing. | ||
People think there's some sort of a... | ||
People are exaggerating the effects of gluten and gluten intolerance. | ||
The issue is that at one point in time, bread was different. | ||
Wheat was different, but it was a lower yield. | ||
So say if you had an acre and you were planting wheat on it, you would get way less wheat out of that acre than you would with the newer wheat. | ||
And the newer wheat has just more complex glutens in it, and you get a higher yield, and so that's what they're looking for. | ||
But when you eat it, it's just hard to digest. | ||
When I was in Italy, man, everybody's skinny, okay? | ||
They're all eating bread, they're all eating pasta, they're all eating pizza, they're all skinny. | ||
At the most, these dudes who don't work out, at the most, get like a little paunch. | ||
The most! | ||
They're drinking wine every night, they got a little paunch. | ||
They also walk a lot more than us. | ||
They also ride bikes a lot more than us. | ||
All those things. | ||
Spent a lot of time in Holland this last trip and I couldn't find a fat person. | ||
They're just biking everywhere. | ||
They're just biking everywhere and they're eating cheese and bread all day. | ||
Like literally every meal. | ||
Cheese and bread with your meal? | ||
Ugh. | ||
But they must be pissed that weed's legal everywhere else because people used to go to Holland specifically to go to Amsterdam just to get hot. | ||
Well, I have friends that own coffee shops over there and they're like, yeah, there's a lot of fuck. | ||
Well, what's going on right now is there's, if I understood what he was telling me, right, Canada is investing shit tons of money with the government over there to like corporate, like start growing corporate weed and they're going to phase out the locals and take it over. | ||
Like, they're going to phase out the coffee shop. | ||
Weed isn't legal in Holland. | ||
It's decriminalized. | ||
If you own a weed shop, you can only have, let's say, 500 grams a time in the shop legally. | ||
If you have a good shop, you're moving that in a fucking afternoon. | ||
And bringing weed to your shop is illegal. | ||
Like, it's a smuggling operation. | ||
So it has to be in there, and once it's in there, it's okay. | ||
Once it's in there, you can sell it, but getting it to your spot is the problem. | ||
It's fucking illegal to move that much weed. | ||
It's fucked up. | ||
Like, these guys, I know a couple guys that own a couple coffee shops, and they're just like, it's fuckery, man. | ||
It's like a constant, it's like half a criminal operation they're running. | ||
And it used to be that you'd get mushrooms. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
You used to be able to get mushrooms. | ||
You used to be able to get like a bunch of shit. | ||
And now you can't get mushrooms anymore. | ||
Not like hard like narcotics like coke or anything like that, but anything natural like mushrooms. | ||
You could get acid when I was first in there, but I don't know if that was legal because I was really young. | ||
I just... | ||
Well, Holland's just a wild-ass place. | ||
I mean, that is the spot where, like, some of the best kickboxing ever came from. | ||
It's weird. | ||
One little spot in Europe, and they created Ramon Deckers, Rob Kamen, Ernesto Hoost, like, some of the greatest kickboxers of all time out of this one spot. | ||
There's gyms everywhere. | ||
unidentified
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Everywhere. | |
Everywhere you go, you see them with, like, a gym. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
I mean, it's just amazing that this one place became a hotbed for elite high-level kickboxing. | ||
Real source of their pride, too, like Dutch sports pride. | ||
Football and kickboxing are probably the top two things. | ||
I mean, they literally have created some of the all-time greatest kickboxers. | ||
And it's not a big country. | ||
And some of the greatest kickboxing coaches, as well. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
Really unusual. | ||
Really unusual that that happened there. | ||
And it's hard to describe why. | ||
Like, no one really... | ||
It'd be an interesting, like, documentary or something to figure out the roots of that. | ||
Somebody went to Thailand. | ||
You know, somebody brought it back from Thailand and switched it up and put their own little spin on it. | ||
Yeah, and a few guys went over to Thailand and fucked some ties up, too. | ||
Because what they had done is they incorporated a lot of Western boxing. | ||
Like Ramon Deckers, in particular, was one of the greats. | ||
And what he did was, he was a small guy, like the same size as the ties, which was unusual. | ||
Because a lot of the people from Amsterdam were big people. | ||
It's one of those places where I think the average height For a person in Amsterdam, it's like six feet tall. | ||
Yeah, so it's an unusually tall place. | ||
Viking fucking shit going on. | ||
Yeah, some fucking Viking DNA. I was watching that show for a while. | ||
Vikings? | ||
I got deep into that show. | ||
That show was pretty dark. | ||
But Mrs. Rogan got tired of seeing people get sorted up, slashed to pieces. | ||
She got bored with it. | ||
It was pretty dark. | ||
People just getting fucked up with arrows and cut open. | ||
It's the whole show. | ||
They're always going to war. | ||
But that's what they did. | ||
They're Vikings. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And they took a lot of mushrooms too. | ||
Pillage, I believe, is a Viking way of life. | ||
If you could go back in one time, if you had like a time machine, you go back and watch one time in history, what do you think you would go to see? | ||
unidentified
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Hmm. | |
That's a good question. | ||
You'd go to see how people lived. | ||
Well, being very smell sensitive, it wouldn't be that far back. | ||
I'd probably want to go. | ||
No, that's not true. | ||
I'd probably like, you know, King Arthur era. | ||
Yeah, I like that kind of thing. | ||
I was heavy Dungeons and Dragons kid, you know what I mean? | ||
Maybe go see if there's anything to any of that dragon shit, you know what I mean? | ||
Or the Goldie Grail, you know what I mean? | ||
Any of that dragon shit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I wonder what that was all based on. | ||
Like, why are there so many dragons in folklore, in Chinese folklore, in European folklore? | ||
There's so many unrelated dragons. | ||
Well, I mean, you know, there's people that have, you know, I watch a lot of ancient aliens, so they'll always have an explanation. | ||
My man with the hair. | ||
Giorgio Tsoukalos. | ||
Giorgio did the podcast a long time ago. | ||
I love that guy, dude. | ||
He's my favorite dude on that show, man. | ||
He's a good dude. | ||
I don't necessarily agree with everything they say. | ||
Not everything, but there's merit to some of it, man. | ||
That show is a show you watch with your boys at like 1 o'clock in the morning. | ||
You get baked and everybody laughs. | ||
You ever watch the Vice version where Action Bronson and all those guys are getting ripped and talking about the show? | ||
unidentified
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It's just complete fucking nonsense, but if you're high, it's fucking fun to watch. | |
He came on the podcast. | ||
I've never seen a dude smoke more weed in my life. | ||
He smoked by himself at least six blunts during the podcast. | ||
That dude dabs so hard, man. | ||
I don't think the weed really fucks with him anymore, man. | ||
I can think it takes that much weed. | ||
He just kept going. | ||
And I got paranoid just watching him. | ||
I'm like, oh. | ||
I mean, I smoked a little bit with him, but I mean, I gotta keep this ship on the water. | ||
unidentified
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Exactly. | |
You gotta let me keep my hands on the wheel, sir. | ||
Like, he just kept going. | ||
We took a photo of the ashtray after it was over. | ||
It was preposterous. | ||
I was like, look at that. | ||
That's one show. | ||
He's a crazy guy, man. | ||
Fun dude, though. | ||
No, he's a good guy. | ||
I love that Fuck That's Delicious, that show. | ||
That's a great show. | ||
With Al. | ||
Alchemist is a good friend of mine. | ||
I've known him since he was young, so they're good buddies. | ||
I've met him. | ||
I've hung out with him a few times. | ||
He's a really fun guy, man. | ||
It's a unique idea for a show because, you know, Action Bronson used to be a chef. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, so seeing him, like, interact with food and chefs, like, he really knows about food. | ||
He really understands food. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
I think he should have a cooking show. | ||
He actually, you know, can whip up some fucking mean food. | ||
Yeah, right? | ||
Now that Bourdain's gone, we need more of those kind of shows that explore food. | ||
Bourdain's show changed the way I feel about food. | ||
I used to think of food as just something that tastes really good. | ||
I didn't think of it as an art form. | ||
And then I watched his show, and the reverence that he had for chefs and for the creation of food made me realize, oh, this is an art form that I was ignorant of. | ||
I didn't think of it the right way. | ||
On all levels, not just like the high chef level. | ||
He brings it to the home front where it's like even these local... | ||
Look at him. | ||
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
What's he cooking? | ||
Some sandwich or something. | ||
Oh, he's making sandwiches. | ||
The world's best sandwich. | ||
No, you're right, man. | ||
Like on street food level. | ||
He loves... | ||
Tony loved street tacos and shit. | ||
He would go everywhere and buy street food. | ||
I mean, honestly... | ||
When you're cooking, you feel like that, though. | ||
Now I see you cooking all the time whenever you're posting that shit. | ||
Never invite me over to have some of that beautiful elk. | ||
I was gonna set it up here. | ||
I was gonna set a thing up here, but they could never figure out how to get ventilation in here. | ||
We have a grill back there that's never been used. | ||
It's just sitting back there. | ||
Look at him. | ||
He's taking a steak. | ||
It's gonna be nice and pink in the middle and gorgeous. | ||
He's drinking wine. | ||
I wonder why... | ||
See, this is how stony his show is. | ||
Like, they let him wear a shirt that you can't wear, so they had to blur out his shirt. | ||
That's such a stony thing. | ||
Like, hey, man, you can't wear that shirt. | ||
Oh, yo, I got it on. | ||
That's it. | ||
This is what I'm wearing, so do what you gotta do. | ||
Exactly. | ||
So they gotta follow him around. | ||
That blur thing drives me nuts. | ||
Like, what is it? | ||
What could it possibly be that's so... | ||
But there's times when I see... | ||
Beck, alright? | ||
Beck, when he had that loser video, the first thing that comes up on the video is him in a mask that's blurred. | ||
Right? | ||
And I was like, what the fuck? | ||
Why would you wear it? | ||
It was purposely done. | ||
Like, I think sometimes maybe it's like... | ||
Yeah, it's like, what the fuck? | ||
Like, what is the mask? | ||
That's just Beck being a weirdo. | ||
Yeah, but what is it? | ||
It makes you go like, but what the fuck is it? | ||
He's a fascinating guy, too. | ||
You know, he's a devout Scientologist. | ||
Yeah. | ||
His dad is an amazing string arranger, like an orchestrator, and he did a couple of my albums when I had string arrangements and stuff. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
Yeah, I mean, he's a legit musician, like a really interesting musician. | ||
Beck is next level. | ||
You don't hear about him that often these days. | ||
Again, I think it's the same kind of thing. | ||
Dude, he's not playing the game. | ||
He makes music. | ||
He's just an artist. | ||
When it's time to make music, it's time to make music. | ||
In other words, for me, I'm sorry to argue, but it's like, okay, this is a product, this record, right? | ||
But it's not a product to me. | ||
It's like, this is eight years of my life. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
I didn't make it because I was concerned about keeping my, otherwise, that's why the guys, the guys that got to put a record out every year, those are the guys I'm like, whoa, how do you fucking, that's all, that's, you know, that takes a lot to put a fucking record, especially if it's going to be good. | ||
So anybody that can put out a record every year that's good, that's next level. | ||
Yeah, well, Louis C.K. was doing that for a while at stand-up. | ||
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah. | |
That is hard to do. | ||
George Carlin did it every year. | ||
George Carlin did a stand-up special every year. | ||
And to us, to all stand-up comics, when we all get together and talk about that, everybody kind of agrees it's almost impossible. | ||
He did it, but very few people could do it. | ||
And... | ||
I mean, not to criticize Carlin, because Carlin did it and pulled it off, but most of us feel like that's not enough time. | ||
Like, you need more time to let it cook. | ||
You need more time to add and twist. | ||
I've never had a record come out, like, I think the shortest period was like two years, two and a half years. | ||
And that's you probably just constantly going at it. | ||
Yeah, anytime I wasn't touring or something and we'd be locked in a room somewhere trying to make music. | ||
Now when you record, when you like say if you're gonna lay down an album, do you have everything completely mapped out before you go into the studio or do you fuck around with it while you're in there? | ||
Well, the process for this album in particular was wild. | ||
Because, again, when Layla was born and the disease, we found out she was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. | ||
I actually was planning to not tour any of that anymore, but I was going to write songs. | ||
I went to Nashville, started hanging out with a few songwriters out there and wrote some stuff. | ||
One of the songs, It Ain't Easy, which I played years ago on your podcast, is on this album. | ||
I wrote some songs with people, but the intention was they were going to be for other people. | ||
So I recorded them in a very kind of plain Jane way, not my spin on what they would have been. | ||
And after a few years, I just never really pursued... | ||
It's too much of a sales pitch. | ||
You have to go out and be that smooth of selling your songs, and it just never appealed to me. | ||
And so after a few years... | ||
I did an acoustic record, and then I started touring that for a while, just old songs, but recorded them acoustically. | ||
Then after that was done, and I realized, all right, I need to keep working. | ||
What am I going to do? | ||
I went back and revisited some of these songs, but I realized I have to re-record them. | ||
That's why I didn't see that they were my songs, because I recorded them in a way that I thought other people would want to use them. | ||
So I went and re-recorded about, I don't know, five or six of the songs that were already here. | ||
And then my buddy Evidence from Dilated Peoples got involved with me and we recorded a few of these rap tracks and it started kind of coming together. | ||
And it kind of started coming together in a similar way that the original Whitey Ford Sings the Blues record did. | ||
That's why I kind of also named it what it is. | ||
There was a lot of similarities and I feel like I just pulled everything from every part of the toolbox that I've learned from since I started. | ||
You know, whether it was the Ice-T years or the House of Pain years or the Whitey Ford years. | ||
I just... | ||
Drew on it all and trying to see, like I said, the eight years of life. | ||
It's not like a literal representation of what's happened to me, but it's an emotional journey of like all the kind of feelings and shit that I'm like a lot of struggles and a lot of it's it's it's it's my best record, you know, but eight years right here. | ||
So I've never been in a rush. | ||
That's a big statement, that it's your best record. | ||
It's my best record ever. | ||
I'm confident in it. | ||
Is it available everywhere? | ||
Like iTunes, streaming, Amazon, all that stuff? | ||
Yeah, stream the shit out of it. | ||
I own my masters. | ||
How does that work? | ||
If you own your masters, do you get more when they stream? | ||
Well, if you own your masters, you get paid outright. | ||
Like, you know, you're the label. | ||
I'm my own label. | ||
The people that complain about not getting paid by streaming are people that are signed to record deals that are getting a small piece of what the master is getting. | ||
If you own the master, you know... | ||
So streaming is viable for someone who owns the master? | ||
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
I mean, it's viable, period. | ||
I mean, kids, I mean, that's the way it is. | ||
It's just the future. | ||
It's now. | ||
But the people who say it doesn't pay, they're in shitty deals. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Because it pays, you know... | ||
I would like it to pay a little better, but it pays. | ||
It pays all right. | ||
Who was it? | ||
I think if you take a million streams, it equals out to around $8,000. | ||
Oh, for you. | ||
Just in general, that's the payment for what that is to a label. | ||
To a label. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
A million streams is about the equivalent of about eight grand. | ||
That doesn't sound like a lot, but a million streams is like a thousand guys or people, fans of yours, that stream your shit, whatever, a hundred times or whatever. | ||
It goes quicker than you think. | ||
I think Drake streamed a billion streams his first week. | ||
Right. | ||
That's a nice chunk of change, man. | ||
David Crosby was tweeting about how bad streaming deals are, but that is because he has a bad deal. | ||
If he doesn't own his master, yeah. | ||
If he's recording a deal for the record company, you know what I mean? | ||
I think it's all his older songs. | ||
Oh, that's, yeah. | ||
Then he's probably got shit deals on that. | ||
I mean, some of my older stuff, I don't get paid on what I feel like I should, but it's like the stuff since I've owned my masters, which is the last 15 years of my life, you know what I mean? | ||
It's fascinating for me on the outside looking at what happens with labels and how they do things. | ||
It's just, it's amazing their sort of survival instincts, how they figured out how to stay active. | ||
Labels are signing podcasters now. | ||
Because of streaming. | ||
Streaming? | ||
You should be getting checks from this, Joe. | ||
I don't allow them to stream me. | ||
Well, honestly, you could... | ||
Pandora, Spotify, I say nope. | ||
Well, you'd probably have to be exclusive to one of them is the deal, too. | ||
Well, either way, what they are is just a portal. | ||
It's not just streaming, though. | ||
Your YouTube views are streaming. | ||
That's streaming. | ||
It doesn't have to be with a streaming service. | ||
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Right. | |
I mean, but you should have a digital company that is representing you that's collecting all that if you don't... | ||
Yeah, no, I do for that. | ||
Okay, just make sure. | ||
It's all streaming. | ||
You know what the YouTube thing, the most fascinating thing about it is? | ||
It's only YouTube. | ||
That's the crazy thing. | ||
We think about how big the internet is and there's really only one thing like YouTube. | ||
It was a good moment they came and the branding and everything they did. | ||
They just own it. | ||
I don't know if it was a documentary because it wasn't full length, but it might have been just like a little feature within a news kind of segment thing about how the original videos that were huge on YouTube were like a kid biting another kid. | ||
Wow. | ||
The original first, for the longest time, the most played video on YouTube was Charlie biting the kid or something. | ||
Charlie bit me! | ||
And that's where it all came from. | ||
It almost came from America's home video, like funniest home video kind of thing. | ||
YouTube kind of filled in that void for a long time. | ||
They were memes before they were memes. | ||
They were just viral videos, you know what I mean? | ||
That wasn't that long ago. | ||
That's what's so crazy. | ||
It's like a decade ago. | ||
Well, I mean, the necessity of having to change the music business is what changed YouTube, you know, because they caught on, like, RITV doesn't play videos anymore, and nobody's buying records, so we gotta sell. | ||
You know, the whole thing for the longest was, like, when the bottom had really fallen out for a while of making any money off of actual records, was like, well, you can bootleg my record, and you can download my record, but you can't download the t-shirt. | ||
Right. | ||
So it became sell the lifestyle. | ||
So the music became background music to everything else. | ||
It was part of the lifestyle and the cars and this. | ||
And all I wanted you to do was really go buy this limited edition t-shirt that I'm selling you right now. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That's the game changed into. | ||
And it's still that. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That's why the fuckery and the trollism and all that. | ||
Because people want eyes on them. | ||
So the next thing they have the opportunity to sell, they can sell. | ||
Yeah, that's what's interesting to me about labels is now labels get a piece of everything. | ||
They do these 360 deals. | ||
Yeah, that's Satan. | ||
That was unheard of when I was there. | ||
Not only t-shirt sales, they get a piece of live money. | ||
How could they? | ||
It used to be like, I had to pay you. | ||
It used to be like, all right, a record label would give me half a million dollars. | ||
And I'd go and make a record with that. | ||
I could spend whatever I wanted making the record and whatever the rest of the money left over was mine. | ||
That 500 grand was mine. | ||
I could spend it all making the record or I could spend 50 grand making the record and pocket the rest. | ||
That was up to me. | ||
And then after that, your job as a label was to sell that record. | ||
My job was to hit the road and go tour. | ||
And I'd go tour for a few years, and at first, I'm not even making money touring. | ||
You're giving me money to go out there and tour. | ||
It's called tour support. | ||
That used to be. | ||
And that gets added onto your bill. | ||
You didn't get paid. | ||
No, you would get money for tour, but it wouldn't cover a bus and a band and all this, so the label would supplement that with what they called tour support, which would also become part of the debt you owed the label. | ||
Right. | ||
As you built your live audience, your guarantees would go up. | ||
Sooner or later you could stop taking that money. | ||
And then your record sales would pay that off, hopefully, if you were doing well enough. | ||
And now you got your own stream of revenue with live t-shirts, all this other outside shit that's yours. | ||
That's the way it was when I came up. | ||
Now it's like, that's not a deal. | ||
They want it all. | ||
How'd they sneak that in? | ||
Well, because when Napster and shit dropped the bottom out of the record business and nobody was paying for records, labels weren't going to give you a half a million dollars just for your record because nobody was buying records. | ||
They want to sell your t-shirts, too. | ||
Isn't that amazing, though, that they figured out how to stay alive like that? | ||
Because they always knew that people were going to be needy. | ||
It all boils down to this, too. | ||
And I hope somebody one day really investigates this and makes some sort of documentary about it. | ||
They had so many opportunities to be ahead. | ||
The movie industry didn't take the same hit. | ||
They took hits and they dealt with piracy, but they... | ||
The music industry had a moment, if you remember, there was some kids that got in trouble for downloading ridiculous amounts of music and their parents were being held responsible. | ||
And the music industry backed off of it because the news wasn't good. | ||
The movie industry never backed off of that kind of shit. | ||
They told you, we're going to fucking sue your life off. | ||
Well, some people did get sued for music, though. | ||
But the music industry backed off, though. | ||
They didn't keep the pedal down and keep the foot on the neck like, you're going to steal this. | ||
This costs... | ||
You gotta remember back then, if I would have got a half a million dollars, I probably would have spent up to two of that on a record. | ||
$200,000 just on the making, studio time, whoever's gotta be involved, engineers, producers, 200 grand off top. | ||
That's minimum we would have spent on a record. | ||
And then you go out and people steal it. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
It's the same, you know... | ||
Did you ever download shit for free? | ||
My thing, not at first, my thing became later like, okay, this is the wave, whatever. | ||
But my philosophy was if I downloaded your shit and I liked it... | ||
I'd go buy it. | ||
Me too. | ||
If I downloaded it and it was trashed, then hey, I looked at it as a taste test. | ||
That's good, yeah. | ||
Okay, maybe if more people adapted that, things would have... | ||
But again, the record industry had plenty of opportunities to jump ahead of it and be... | ||
There was technology out there already that people were dealing with, bringing it to them, telling them this wave is coming, and the record industry was making so much money at that time. | ||
If you look at the amount of money they were making off of the boy bands and the Britney Spears and all... | ||
It was retarded how much money was in the record business. | ||
And they let it all go down the drain because they thought they had all the answers and they thought it had all the money. | ||
What could they have done to stop it? | ||
I'd have to go. | ||
I have some books on it. | ||
Something like get paid for streaming. | ||
There were people ready there to help set up things like Naster and how to monetize it and control it. | ||
There was ways to deal with it. | ||
There were ways to be part of it instead of wait until it was too late. | ||
Well, the thing about the movie industry, too, though, is that people want to go to the movies. | ||
The experience is not as good. | ||
Apple Music saved the music industry. | ||
Apple at first. | ||
iTunes. | ||
Why didn't the record industry... | ||
There were people telling them, this is coming, and I didn't mean to interrupt you, but... | ||
They could have made iTunes first. | ||
Not called iTunes, but the record industry itself should have digitized and been ready. | ||
It would have been that simple. | ||
Come up with their own version of iTunes. | ||
And they could have invested a lot more money... | ||
The music industry is booming, but artists are losing big. | ||
Because most artists are signed to record deals. | ||
With just 12% of revenue. | ||
12%? | ||
Whoa! | ||
$43 billion a year was its most profitable year since 2006. Listeners are spending more money than ever, largely on streaming and live music, with consumer spending totaling more than $20 billion last year. | ||
Wow. | ||
Yet artists aren't feeling the increase. | ||
Of that 20 billion music industry, entities such as record labels took home 10 billion. | ||
Musicians taking home just 5.1 billion with the majority of the revenue coming from touring and concert sales. | ||
It's amazing. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
It's like a parasitic industry. | ||
People don't necessarily need them the way they used to need them. | ||
Not like they used to. | ||
I was going to just play devil's advocate and say, well, it used to be that I'm the guy to put up all the... | ||
If I'm the label, I'm I'm putting up millions of dollars in advance, gambling it on you. | ||
Now when you win, you want to take away my lion's share? | ||
No, fuck you. | ||
Now it's totally different. | ||
Now you can do this on your own. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
You can start an Instagram, start a YouTube, start this, and you can make beats on your laptop in your living room. | ||
Well, like Chance the Rapper, right? | ||
Isn't that the guy who does everything he's done is his own shit online? | ||
Sure. | ||
Sure? | ||
Sure, yeah. | ||
You don't believe it? | ||
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What do you mean? | |
Not exactly. | ||
Oh, Jamie's got a conspiracy theory? | ||
Not a conspiracy, but he's got more support than he would say. | ||
Now he does? | ||
Sure. | ||
Yeah, now he does, maybe. | ||
But I mean, basically, he's become huge all on his own, right? | ||
And, I mean, you look, it's like so many viral music hits. | ||
You know, they get big online just because kids share it and they like it, and then it becomes gigantic. | ||
Like, with the music industry, the industry, the labels have nothing to do with that, right? | ||
No, there's labels that are doing their thing out there that actually know what they're doing and marketing-wise and all that. | ||
There's still a lot of kids that are being made, you know, famous by labels. | ||
So there's some benefit. | ||
Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of the reason some of these artists are only seeing 5.1 benefits because they're signed to record deals, you know. | ||
Jay-Z ain't only saying 5%, you know, 5% of what, you know, he's due because he, you know, he's been in the game long enough, he knows. | ||
And they started out with their own label. | ||
They started, in the beginning, Rockefeller Records was independent. | ||
So that's the kind of... | ||
You know, those kind of guys are never going to lose as long as, you know, they can still make music that people buy. | ||
Yeah, they figure out a way to rope you in early, too, where, like, even if your record is successful, the second record, it's not like you're going to be able to be independent on the second record. | ||
They own you for several down the line, right? | ||
Usually, I mean, it used to be, I think the standard was like $8. | ||
Eight albums. | ||
But it's misleading because it depends on where you're from, too. | ||
If your first record is very successful and you have a lawyer that has any wherewithal, you're renegotiating before you do the second record. | ||
These are things you learn. | ||
But if you're struggling, that eight-record thing, too, also, if you... | ||
Study the record business, it goes back to when actually artists used to be built. | ||
Nobody expected the first album to do anything. | ||
When they would sign bands in the 60s, they had a plan by album 3 and 4, here's where we'll be. | ||
They used to build artists. | ||
There used to be A&R. They actually used to nurture and fucking take care of a band for a long time and watch them grow. | ||
That's the way it used to be until whatever it was. | ||
Maybe the 80s it changed. | ||
I had a record deal for my comedy album in 1999. I had a record deal with Warner Brothers. | ||
It was like a real record deal. | ||
I met with them. | ||
They promoted it. | ||
The whole deal. | ||
I went through the whole record industry business. | ||
Yeah, there was always a comedian or two on labels. | ||
Yeah, they don't have that anymore. | ||
I mean, comedy albums... | ||
You do it yourself. | ||
Well, it's not just that. | ||
You definitely can do it yourself. | ||
But comedy albums just aren't that popular anymore for some strange reason. | ||
Well, because it's... | ||
It's a piss-poor way to view the art form. | ||
You want to watch it. | ||
Exactly. | ||
I was about to say, it's so visual that now... | ||
Comedy albums were big when everybody didn't have a TV screen or everything. | ||
It's like you could listen and imagine what he was doing. | ||
But some guys translate super well. | ||
Like Mitch Hedberg translates amazing to CD, to just audio only. | ||
Because he basically just stands there and tells great jokes. | ||
It's fun to watch him, more fun to watch him, but once you know what he looks like and how he does it, it's kind of cool to listen to it on the albums. | ||
I was just talking about Stephen Wright the other day, too. | ||
Stephen Wright was a genius. | ||
Yeah, he was amazing. | ||
Yeah, but that style is hard to do. | ||
See, what Mitch Hedberg basically did was do that Stephen Wright style, but like a more stony drug style, but the drugs allowed him to come up with way more of those things. | ||
Hedberg could just go on for days. | ||
He had so much fucking material, man. | ||
That guy wrote constantly. | ||
He was always writing till the end. | ||
In the end, you know, the drugs got to him. | ||
Obviously, they killed him. | ||
But he was... | ||
That's a non-sequitur style. | ||
That's the hardest style of comedy. | ||
You say one thing, and then you say something totally unrelated to the next joke, and the next joke's totally unrelated. | ||
No sequencing or... | ||
No, man. | ||
And, you know, it's all... | ||
Segways, I'm sorry. | ||
That's a word I was like, sequencing. | ||
That's an album. | ||
But sequencing, too. | ||
It's like they don't fit in together in any way, shape, or form. | ||
They're just total non-sequiturs. | ||
Just, here's a funny thing I thought of. | ||
Here's another funny thing I thought of. | ||
But his style was so unique. | ||
Just the way he delivered things was so unique. | ||
He was funny just talking about nothing. | ||
Like talking about anything. | ||
One of my favorite jokes of his, he goes, somebody asked me if I want a frozen banana. | ||
I said no, but I want a regular banana later. | ||
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So yes That's just such a silly joke, but it's such a great job That's a stoner joke, for sure. | |
Oh, man. | ||
All day. | ||
He's got like one of the best... | ||
His albums are some of the best stoner material of all time. | ||
Maybe the best. | ||
You're gonna make me go listen to some. | ||
Oh, he was an incredible man. | ||
Oh, I'm familiar. | ||
I just haven't listened to it or heard any of it. | ||
I'll throw him on every now and again when I'm on my way to the airport. | ||
I used to listen to, on Sirius all the time, the comedy channel, the dirtier, darker one, you know, the more grown-up one. | ||
And he'd pop on there every once in a while. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Yeah. | ||
I haven't had Sirius in forever. | ||
Do you still listen to that? | ||
No, because I just... | ||
Yeah. | ||
Honestly, my favorite thing in the car is silence. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
By myself, I get a lot of thinking done driving. | ||
Or if I'm ever really stumped while I'm working on a song, because I don't write things down or anything, I'll get in the car and drive and somehow it'll work itself out. | ||
I can really just relax behind the wheel. | ||
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Yeah. | |
Yeah, I know what you mean. | ||
Unless I'm in the middle of fucked up driving. | ||
At night, I can get in a car, I can drive on an open road, and it really relaxes me. | ||
I have a car that I take to the comedy store all the time, and it's a 1993 Porsche. | ||
It doesn't have any radio. | ||
No radio, it's manual transmission, no power steering, no air conditioning. | ||
It's just an old car. | ||
When you drive it, you feel every bump, and it's like, and you shift it. | ||
But because of all that, I have to think, and it fires my brain up because I'm doing all these different things, hitting a clutch, shifting the gears, managing this heavy steering wheel and all that jazz. | ||
And when I get to the store, my brain is charged up because of it. | ||
It's like I've been doing a bunch of things. | ||
It's like exercising your brain. | ||
I'm not in the back seat sleeping, waiting to get to the show, and then I wake myself up. | ||
I love to drive. | ||
Do you still get that crazy Audi? | ||
No, not right now. | ||
I just bought a truck, actually, and I got a CLS 63S. Yeah, it's nice. | ||
I just couldn't bring the kids in the Audi, but I miss it so much, I'm actually about to get another one. | ||
They have a new one. | ||
Yeah, I know. | ||
That's a beast of a car. | ||
What do you think? | ||
I was like, all right, I got to hit the road for about three months. | ||
I'll be back for that car. | ||
It's an amazing car. | ||
Yeah, it's a good time if you're into cars. | ||
They got a lot of crazy ass fucking automobiles now. | ||
Yeah, when I did have the R8, man, I would just like, and then I lived much further south. | ||
I actually lived off the 15, like below the 91. And I would, when I would shoot to sometimes out to Vegas for fights, I would just jump in the R8 like on a Thursday night, like 11 o'clock. | ||
I'd be there by two. | ||
I'd get there in like three hours. | ||
Jesus. | ||
I mean, I was already on the 15. I wasn't coming from deep LA. Still, Jesus. | ||
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But I'd do like a fucking buck three the whole way. | |
God damn it. | ||
That's fast. | ||
That's a four-wheel drive car, too. | ||
That car's glued to the ground. | ||
It's like on fucking rails, man. | ||
It's one of my favorite cars I've ever driven. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And the style, like, it's still relevant. | ||
Like, they've kept that style, basically, with just a little few facelifts and improvements for a few years. | ||
I mean, it's essentially like a mini Lamborghini, right? | ||
It's the same engine. | ||
Yeah, it's the Gallardo. | ||
The same engine as the Gallardo. | ||
I mean, it's more than enough power. | ||
The crazy thing about today's cars is they have so much power, it's just ridiculous. | ||
Like, every year it's like a new faster 0-60 time, new records on the Nürburgring. | ||
It's like, what are you doing? | ||
Like, where are you taking this? | ||
Like, where are you going to drive this thing that fast? | ||
It's gonna be teleporting. | ||
The new Corvette ZR1 has 700 and something fucking horsepower. | ||
How does it even stay on the... | ||
It barely does. | ||
One of the drivers from GM, one of the head execs from GM, took it on a racetrack when they were first releasing it and crashed. | ||
Like, immediately spun out and slammed into the fucking wall. | ||
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That's great. | |
You gotta know what the fuck you're doing if you're throttling. | ||
I mean, you have to be able to navigate that throttle with 700 horsepower, because no matter what, those wheels are spinning. | ||
Especially rear-wheel drive, no matter how much traction control. | ||
You ever see that video? | ||
See? | ||
Find the video. | ||
It's fucking hilarious. | ||
It's a good video to watch, to let you know, like, this is a crazy vehicle that you people are selling. | ||
You're letting people get a car that is so much faster than anything that was on the road five years ago. | ||
I mean, it's a fucking insane mobile. | ||
And the speed limit ain't changed. | ||
You know where that car comes in handy? | ||
Germany. | ||
Yeah. | ||
GM exec crashes new Corvette ZR1. I mean, this was before it was even released. | ||
This dude showed everybody what the problem is. | ||
This is the only one he ain't sent me, man. | ||
I got an extra one. | ||
He ain't sent me that one. | ||
Funny, I was talking about this guy. | ||
I liked a picture of his so long ago. | ||
Here it is. | ||
Look at this guy. | ||
Boom! | ||
Play that again. | ||
Oh my goodness. | ||
Watch this. | ||
Play it from the beginning, this knucklehead. | ||
It started too quick. | ||
I'll see if there's more angles. | ||
No, no, no. | ||
Look at this. | ||
Right away, this guy. | ||
Hey, I know how to drive. | ||
I'm a fucking executive. | ||
Shit! | ||
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Wow. | |
Yeah, he's driving like an asshole. | ||
He doesn't know how to drive. | ||
Sorry, sir. | ||
He just put the foot down. | ||
Yeah. | ||
He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. | ||
Dumbass. | ||
Look, that's a car that you have to know how to navigate once the ass end kicks out, too. | ||
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He was just stomping it. | |
That's hilarious. | ||
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Crash. | |
I'm sure he got... | ||
He felt like an asshole. | ||
A nice amount of shit at the next board meeting. | ||
Well, he should. | ||
Look at that fucking car, though. | ||
Good lord. | ||
What a beast of a car. | ||
What are they retailing for? | ||
It's more than $100,000. | ||
I think it's like $150,000, $160,000. | ||
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Damn. | |
Probably fully loaded, but it is a monster. | ||
It looks good. | ||
I like what they've done to the body style. | ||
See, but you know where your R8 has a huge advantage? | ||
Your R8 is a four-wheel drive car. | ||
And 755 horsepower. | ||
Good lord. | ||
Good lord. | ||
That's insane. | ||
Good lord. | ||
But the problem is it's hard to keep all that power down on the ground with... | ||
Rear-wheel drive car you're just gonna get a lot of sliding and if you know how to drive you like that People who know how to drive they want to kick the ass in out sideways and yeah But like if you drive a like say a Nissan GTR is perfect example One of the best things about that car is a regular person can drive it pretty fast Because there's a lot of electronics and what they would call nanny controls that sort of keep everything in order So that car has been around for a long time. | ||
They really haven't changed a whole lot about the way it looks. | ||
But they've made these incremental improvements in performance. | ||
And to this day, that is one of the beastiest cars you could drive. | ||
That car is a motherfucker. | ||
I rented one of those in Austin last year. | ||
Holy shit was it fun. | ||
It's a crazy car. | ||
It defies logic. | ||
Like, it defies physics. | ||
That's the Nismo one. | ||
You don't want that one unless you want to take it to a track, because that shit's harsh as fuck. | ||
You just want the regular one. | ||
The regular one is beastie enough. | ||
They're amazing cars, though. | ||
All the pop-up windows, trying to get you to buy it. | ||
Come on, buy it. | ||
Buy this. | ||
Come on, buy it. | ||
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Buy it. | |
Buy it. | ||
But really, if I was going to get a brand new Japanese car, the real car to get now is the new NSX. The new NSX. TJ Dillashaw has one. | ||
He brought it in here, and I was checking it out outside. | ||
Fuck, man. | ||
It's got electric engines on top of the regular engines. | ||
It's an amazing car. | ||
Just fucking amazing. | ||
And it's gorgeous. | ||
Oh, the Acura. | ||
Okay. | ||
And they have a 2019 one that's coming out that has even more improvements. | ||
But it's hard for them to sell these cars because, like, look at how good that looks. | ||
Look how good that looks. | ||
Goddamn that looks. | ||
I'm still kind of partial to the Audi. | ||
Audi's a beast. | ||
Yeah, I love it. | ||
Look, it's just, it's apples or oranges. | ||
It's just what you're into. | ||
TJ's got that color, too, that blue. | ||
Pull up 2018 Audi R8. Oh! | ||
It's a 19. Oh! | ||
Look at that! | ||
That's gorgeous. | ||
Come on, son! | ||
You gotta get silver, too, because it looks like a fucking spaceship. | ||
That's a monster car. | ||
Look how beautiful that is. | ||
That's one of the best-looking cars I've ever seen. | ||
What are they, like a Buck 82? | ||
Something like that. | ||
Monster. | ||
Monster vehicle. | ||
Just ridiculous performance. | ||
Good-looking car. | ||
Yeah, and easy to drive, too. | ||
It's one of those cars that's just glued to the ground, four-wheel drive, electric engines controlling the wheels, crazy brake systems. | ||
amazing look at that god damn it look at that fucking thing crazy 159 cheese mows That's a lot of cheddar. | ||
Ka-chow. | ||
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Ka-chow! | |
But it doesn't have the sound that your car had. | ||
See, the thing about the Audi is they have that big-ass fucking V8 or the V10, depending on which one you get. | ||
That's a different thing, man. | ||
It's a different thing. | ||
What is that beast? | ||
unidentified
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The new R8. Ooh, what the fuck? | |
2019 R8 LMS. Oh, that's the race car. | ||
That's a monster. | ||
That's gorgeous. | ||
Pull up 2019 Audi R8. People get mad when we talk too much about cars. | ||
I couldn't even afford these cars, bro. | ||
Why are you talking about these cars? | ||
Because it's fun. | ||
That must be the camouflaged one. | ||
I saw on Twitter someone posted a picture. | ||
They saw one driving around with this weird paint job. | ||
I've seen that. | ||
They drive them all over cities and everything like that to test them. | ||
They do that for quite a long time. | ||
I've been around a few of those cars. | ||
You ever see the one that they'll do it with regular cars? | ||
I remember the PT Cruiser? | ||
Yes. | ||
When that was first, long before it came out, like about a year before it came out, they would see this ugly fucking thing driving around with these magnetic covers all over it, so you couldn't see the car, but you could totally tell what the shape was. | ||
Right. | ||
It was fucking hilarious. | ||
Nobody gives a shit about that car anyway. | ||
What, they're gonna steal your design? | ||
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
No one's stealing that design. | ||
It was such a shitty car. | ||
Dude, I drove one once. | ||
I rented one because it looked kind of cool. | ||
I said, I'll take one of those. | ||
That's kind of cool looking. | ||
Oh my God, what a death trap. | ||
I was driving. | ||
I was like, this thing has zero control. | ||
You can't corner in it. | ||
The brakes suck. | ||
It's just built to look like an old surfer car. | ||
Way worse. | ||
I rented a Hummer H3 once. | ||
I would never even. | ||
Oh, good lord! | ||
And I took it on a dirt road. | ||
I was in Colorado. | ||
We drove up this hill. | ||
Every time I was going around a corner, it was kicking out sideways. | ||
That thing had like zero traction. | ||
It was a terrible car. | ||
Did you ever drive a Prowler? | ||
Oh, never. | ||
No. | ||
Interesting side bit. | ||
Chip Foose designed that. | ||
Same guy who built my Barracuda. | ||
Or designed my Barracuda, not built it. | ||
Yeah, no thanks. | ||
Yeah, disgusting vehicle. | ||
That was like the Hot Wheel you hated. | ||
Right, you're like, get this one out of here, man. | ||
That's the Hot Wheel you put a firecracker in. | ||
Yeah, give me that old Corvette. | ||
Fuck this little thing. | ||
Yeah, they tried those. | ||
They tried those for a while. | ||
It's an interesting time for cars, though, now. | ||
And people are starting to go towards electric cars. | ||
Have you driven a Tesla yet? | ||
No. | ||
That's a goddamn space machine. | ||
Those things are rocket ships. | ||
They're so fast, they don't even make any sense. | ||
They don't make any sense. | ||
They're zero to 60 in like two seconds. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
They're so fast. | ||
I wasn't hip to that. | ||
There's no gears, right? | ||
Because the transmission is not the same. | ||
It's not a combustion engine that has to feed in the transmission, the clutch and all that stuff. | ||
This is kind of like when you just press forward on the remote control cars, right? | ||
It just... | ||
Exactly. | ||
It just goes. | ||
That kind of makes sense, yeah. | ||
Just an electric car that goes 1.9 seconds, son, 0 to 60. What in the actual fuck? | ||
And it can go 620 miles before you have to charge it. | ||
That's crazy. | ||
That's going to be a monster. | ||
Yeah, and how long you got to wait to get one? | ||
unidentified
|
Probably a while. | |
Hey, maybe you got a word in with your buddy. | ||
Yeah, it's not ready yet. | ||
It's 2020. They're not even going to start selling them. | ||
I don't even think they've... | ||
They're not even in production. | ||
Meanwhile, he shot one off into space. | ||
Look how pretty it is, though. | ||
God, when that thing comes out, that's a gorgeous car. | ||
That's a CGI, though, right? | ||
No, no, that's the car. | ||
That's probably the one they made. | ||
Remember they had one they shot into space? | ||
Look at that. | ||
Look how fast that fucking thing goes. | ||
1.9 seconds. | ||
250 plus miles per hour. | ||
I mean, what the fuck? | ||
That's going to be one of the most amazing cars ever once it actually comes out. | ||
Yeah, that's kind of cool. | ||
Save up your cheddar. | ||
200 G's. | ||
Whoa! | ||
250 fully loaded. | ||
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
It's just a quarter brick, dawg. | ||
That's it. | ||
Founder Series Reservation. | ||
What does that mean? | ||
I don't know. | ||
Cool. | ||
Awesome. | ||
Yeah, that guy was a weird guy to talk to, because I couldn't get over all the stuff he does. | ||
I'm like, how do you do all these different things? | ||
How do you make these, and then you make roof panels, and then you're like drilling tunnels, and then you're shooting rockets into space. | ||
unidentified
|
SpaceX. | |
Yeah. | ||
He's doing everything. | ||
Maybe he's an alien. | ||
You said he was. | ||
Maybe we should listen. | ||
Said he was an alien. | ||
He might be. | ||
Might be a higher thinking life form. | ||
Well, he might as well be, right? | ||
If he was an alien and he looked exactly like that... | ||
I'll be honest, when he grabbed a joint and the way he kind of looked at it, I was kind of like, it seemed kind of like a guy who was kind of like, I'm not familiar with this practice, but... | ||
Or maybe he's so smart that he thought it would be funny if he pretended he didn't know what a joint was. | ||
Could be. | ||
I don't think he didn't know what it was. | ||
I'm just saying as he was about to partake, he kind of had this real inquisitive like... | ||
Yeah, but there was a part. | ||
It was a blunt. | ||
And he almost seemed like he didn't know what a blunt was. | ||
I can believe that. | ||
Really? | ||
I can believe that. | ||
The glass tip could have thrown him off because that's a little unique if you're not familiar. | ||
Not everybody is hip to weed culture, man, as we think. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Right, but when he said that Tesla was going private, funding secure at 420... | ||
He's got to pay $20 million for that joke. | ||
That joke cost him $20 million. | ||
The SEC got mad at him. | ||
They fined him. | ||
Yeah, well, it's also manipulating your stock prices a little bit. | ||
You can send your shareholders into a panic. | ||
Jamie was concerned that they were going to contact us and see if we arranged that pot smoking part. | ||
Like if that was something that had been arranged in advance because it crashed the stock. | ||
I read all the stories. | ||
I was like, Joe Rogan making noise out here. | ||
I was like, oh Jesus, we didn't do that, did we? | ||
I definitely didn't. | ||
Yeah, that was organic, folks. | ||
Dude, that was amazing, dude. | ||
That was amazing. | ||
Strange. | ||
That's what this podcast is for. | ||
Yeah, for strange shit. | ||
Strange moments that you can't get on NBC. Well, you can't even get it on Netflix. | ||
I mean, look at Norm Macdonald's show on Netflix. | ||
He's got that thing that he's doing on Netflix. | ||
Netflix is probably the most unrestricted of all networks, of all things you're trying to do. | ||
In terms of comedy, there's nothing ever been like it. | ||
It's the greatest thing. | ||
Netflix, for sure, is the greatest thing that's ever happened to stand-up comedy. | ||
Ever. | ||
unidentified
|
I can see that. | |
Never been a company that... | ||
Get just about any special you want. | ||
They give you no feedback. | ||
They don't fuck with you at all. | ||
They don't censor you. | ||
They don't tell you what to do. | ||
They don't... | ||
unidentified
|
Me. | |
They have... | ||
Some people have said some things that they wanted to edit out. | ||
Well, it's a numbers game, too, for them. | ||
It has to be, like, way, way across the line before they... | ||
They know what Joe Rogan numbers are. | ||
That's when they come to you and they say, here's your special, we're going to do this. | ||
They know who you are, what you do. | ||
They're signing with you or doing your special with you because they know how many eyes you're going to bring to the channel. | ||
Yeah, they know what they're doing, but it's still just having this ability to have something streaming. | ||
If you were a person who said, oh, I want to do a show on this network, forget about Netflix. | ||
If you just decided, that's almost like, I don't want people to watch this. | ||
I want people to watch it one time. | ||
I want it to be on 10 p.m. | ||
Saturday, October 17th, and that's it. | ||
Like who the fuck wants that? | ||
Like nobody wants that. | ||
You want someone to be at the airport with their phone and be going, huh, I want to go watch the Chris Rock special. | ||
Let me check it out right now. | ||
Bam! | ||
It's amazing. | ||
And then you're sitting there on your own just watching it. | ||
There is no live TV and all that's going to the wayside. | ||
It's useless. | ||
I see commercials now. | ||
I start laughing. | ||
Why? | ||
You fucking dinosaurs with your bullshit ass commercials. | ||
I just finished Ozark. | ||
Did you finish it? | ||
The second season? | ||
Don't say anything. | ||
Don't say anything. | ||
I just started the second season. | ||
I'm on second episode. | ||
It's so good. | ||
I'm on the episode where the guy blew the hand off. | ||
You should spoiler alert that, sir. | ||
What? | ||
Nobody knows why, when, or how. | ||
Ah, don't! | ||
There's people out there. | ||
I'm just saying. | ||
Netflix is killing it. | ||
Stranger Things. | ||
You ever watch that show? | ||
Yeah, I'm waiting for the next season. | ||
Goddamn! | ||
Netflix, here's what Netflix is. | ||
For me and my wife, that's one of our things. | ||
We find a show to spend some time together. | ||
We do that too, yeah. | ||
Ozark, she found. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
Stranger Things, I think I found. | ||
But yeah, that's our thing. | ||
Ozark has been kind of tough for us because we watched the first episode of season two, and then I went on tour for a month. | ||
So we just watched the second one the other night. | ||
And I gotta leave now. | ||
And we don't have time to binge the whole thing. | ||
Is there any other good ones that I need to know about? | ||
People occasionally tweet me ones and I forget. | ||
There's a weird German one called, I think, Dark. | ||
I mean, it's subtitled and stuff, but it's crazy. | ||
Well, Black Mirror, of course. | ||
Oh yeah, Black Mirror. | ||
That's the shit. | ||
I watched all of those. | ||
That shows the shit. | ||
But that is a weird one. | ||
That's one of those ones that I watch, like I'm stoned. | ||
I come home from the comedy store and I'm smoking a little weed and I watch that and I'll go, why am I watching this before I go to bed? | ||
I think the last time I was here, you were talking about the one, the Star Trek-y one, and that's what made me go look at it. | ||
And I was like, let me go look at it again. | ||
Because I think I watched it in the beginning. | ||
I think I tried early on and it was the one where the politician had the fuck... | ||
Oh, the fuck the pig? | ||
Yeah. | ||
And that kind of just was like, all right, sorry, whatever, this weird shit. | ||
Yeah. | ||
And I probably just wasn't, you know, I was like, I don't want to, but then when you told me about that one, I went back, started there, and that was the last season, and then I worked my way back and actually got to that one again and re-watched it, and I was like, oh, these are all pretty crazy. | ||
Did you see Heavy Metal? | ||
Did you see that one? | ||
That's the one with the drones, the drones coming after people? | ||
Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
Yeah. | ||
Well, that's too close to home. | ||
I binge watched Black Mirror pretty tough over a just two or three day period. | ||
And like for like a couple weeks, I was convinced I'm living in a simulation. | ||
Like after watching, especially the dating ones where they just keep me. | ||
It's like that shit blew my mind a little bit. | ||
That was another thing that Elon Musk freaked me out about. | ||
He was saying it's quite possible that we are living in a simulation. | ||
Oh, dude, I'm always playing with that idea. | ||
Like, you posted something the other day that was like, oh, it was the Trump thing. | ||
Was that a real t-shirt, by the way? | ||
Well, it's a real t-shirt that you can buy, but it's not from Donald Trump's store. | ||
It's a company that's selling them. | ||
It's like trumpstore.shop. | ||
Yeah, so it's not his. | ||
But you wrote, like, we're living in a movie? | ||
I was like, yeah, this is like a simulation. | ||
But just the fact that someone's selling that. | ||
This is like crazy. | ||
Just the fact that someone, people are like, that's fake news. | ||
It's not fake news. | ||
It's a real shirt. | ||
I know it's not his. | ||
But the fact that that's a shirt that says, I like beer, and it has a guy who's, I mean, they're trying to put this guy in the Supreme Court. | ||
It's fucking hilarious. | ||
The whole world is hilarious. | ||
The whole world's hilarious. | ||
It's all fucked up. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Well, this is one of the cool things about Black Mirror. | ||
Black Mirror is showing you where some things could go in a total dystopian way. | ||
Do you see Crocodile? | ||
See that episode? | ||
Crocodile. | ||
That's the one where you can record memories? | ||
Yes! | ||
I've seen all of them, I just don't know the title. | ||
This lady? | ||
Remember this lady? | ||
Uh-huh. | ||
Remember this lady with the car accident in the beginning? | ||
Insurance company. | ||
Remember this? | ||
Yes. | ||
Remember this? | ||
That's the darkest of the dark ones. | ||
That one was so fucked up. | ||
That one wrecked me. | ||
Oh, that was the one where the people could rewind each other's memories and play back. | ||
Yeah. | ||
All that is coming. | ||
Oh, that's easily coming. | ||
All this shit is coming. | ||
Then there's the one where it wasn't super dark, but it was where the chick was trying to up her status in the world. | ||
Yes, yes. | ||
Get her stars up. | ||
The Star Trek one's my favorite, I think. | ||
That one was fucking amazing. | ||
That was a good one. | ||
It was amazing. | ||
And that is this sort of weird blend of current reality and a possibility of simulation. | ||
Where it was the chick wakes up and she doesn't know where she is, who she is, whatever, and everybody's recording. | ||
She's the murderer. | ||
That was a crazy one, too, man. | ||
It's a fucking amazing show. | ||
Yeah, I only... | ||
If you hadn't mentioned the Star Trek one, I probably never would have revisited that. | ||
God, so good. | ||
There's so many good shows now. | ||
What else is good? | ||
What else I need to know about? | ||
Have you seen it? | ||
It's not a show. | ||
It's, I think, a documentary-ish. | ||
It's kind of like half documentary, and then they did some recreations. | ||
It's called Wormwood. | ||
No. | ||
It's all about the acid, CIA, MKUltra program and shit. | ||
Is that a Netflix thing? | ||
It's on Netflix, yes, Wormwood. | ||
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
Oh, you've got to check it. | ||
It's dope. | ||
You know what my favorite one they did? | ||
Do you know what Operation Midnight Climax is? | ||
It sounds familiar. | ||
The CIA, they ran a brothel, and they gave Johns, the guys would come to the fuckery, and they would give them acid to run tests on them. | ||
They loved to give people acid for shit, man. | ||
Back in the 50s, they didn't know what acid did. | ||
It's called Wormwood? | ||
Wormwood, yeah. | ||
It's really good, man. | ||
It has a really good actor playing the main role when they do the recreations. | ||
You'll recognize him. | ||
I forget his name. | ||
He was in that movie about the Marines with Gyllenhaal. | ||
Where they were in Iraq. | ||
He was his partner. | ||
Zero Dark Thirty? | ||
Jarhead? | ||
No, Jarhead. | ||
Yeah, he was his partner in Jarhead. | ||
He was that guy. | ||
He's in a lot of stuff. | ||
I can't remember his name. | ||
He's a really good actor, though. | ||
There's just almost too much good shit to watch today. | ||
Oh, yeah. | ||
Another one I watched because of you was the documentary Wild... | ||
Oh, Wild Wild Country? | ||
Wild Wild Country. | ||
And then it all started coming back. | ||
I remember that news when I was young. | ||
I don't remember that at all. | ||
I started being like, oh, man, I kind of remember this. | ||
You know, I've been reading his book. | ||
You know what I just watched? | ||
What? | ||
Three Identical Strangers? | ||
Oh, dude, about the triplets. | ||
Oh, dude, I can't even... | ||
I'm not going to spoil it. | ||
Go watch that. | ||
Is that a Netflix thing, too? | ||
If it's not on Netflix, I got it on... | ||
I rented it on iTunes for like five bucks. | ||
Three Identical Strangers. | ||
Yeah, yeah. | ||
It might not be on Netflix. | ||
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
But it's basically some triplets that were separated at birth. | ||
And... | ||
Did I say birth? | ||
Birth. | ||
unidentified
|
Birth. | |
At birth. | ||
The first 20 minutes is amazing. | ||
After that, it gets crazy and dark. | ||
Really? | ||
Yeah. | ||
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
Oh yeah, Making a Murderer. | ||
So is that Netflix? | ||
Three Identical Strangers? | ||
It didn't say. | ||
It's just a documentary. | ||
I don't know. | ||
It could be. | ||
Well, Wild Wild Country is just goddamn amazing. | ||
It was a CNN film, so it could be on Netflix too. | ||
But right now it's on iTunes and you have to rent it, so I don't think I found it on Netflix. | ||
You know what's weird about Wild Wild Country? | ||
And it's weird about all these crazy sex cults. | ||
It's like part of it you go, yeah, they got something going on that's right. | ||
They're figuring out something. | ||
What I couldn't figure out about that was, where was the flashpoint where this guy became this guy? | ||
What was the thing he did that make everybody believe? | ||
Because that was never made clear to me. | ||
I never understood, like, okay, I can understand people getting this excited about it, but what was the thing that he did or said? | ||
And I never understood that part of it. | ||
I've been reading his book, and it's actually pretty interesting. | ||
I actually have it right here. | ||
The Art of Living and Dying. | ||
He wrote this book after he became Osho. | ||
Or maybe they published it after he became Osho. | ||
But it's a very good book. | ||
It's weird. | ||
He had some very good ideas. | ||
He had some very good ideas. | ||
Philosophically, he's a fascinating guy. | ||
Or was a fascinating guy and there's real good evidence that his followers fucking poisoned him Like there's a lot of people I shouldn't say there's real good evidence There's a lot of people that followed the case very closely that believe that people close to him may have poisoned him and taking his taking his money So the whole thing, you know, I mean the whole thing was just a massive mindfuck. | ||
Those houses are still there in that place. | ||
Like that ranch that those guys set up there. | ||
They're all beaten down. | ||
They showed at the end of the documentary. | ||
And you're like, whoa! | ||
There's an interesting another dude. | ||
I don't know if you've ever heard of him, a guy named Dr. Malachi York. | ||
No, who's that guy? | ||
He started in New York doing this sort of Islamic sect thing he did, and then he brought it into aliens and ancient Hebrew stuff. | ||
He brought all this stuff together, all these philosophies, and he made this utopian society in Georgia. | ||
But the dude was doing mad criminal shit. | ||
And they got him. | ||
I don't know if there's any movie about this. | ||
Look at him. | ||
The smile. | ||
But this dude was like... | ||
Give me that picture bigger. | ||
Look how smiley he is. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's an incredibly crazy story. | ||
Damn, they put him away for 135 years. | ||
unidentified
|
What did he do? | |
He was doing some crazy... | ||
Stuff like sex cult stuff was going on with stuff in it. | ||
It always becomes that. | ||
You know... | ||
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
Who will lie on him to put him in jail? | ||
Because I've never seen definitive... | ||
I've read this and that, so it's like there's motherfuckers who say it was like he's set up and all this shit and that he had such a perfect society going that nobody wanted that to succeed. | ||
But I'm pretty sure it's been proven that the dude was doing some pretty criminal shit. | ||
Here's two things that seem to happen. | ||
Whenever anybody runs any kind of crazy cult or any sort of weird... | ||
Community outside the norm. | ||
It always becomes sex. | ||
It always becomes like the dude says, you know, we don't need this. | ||
Yeah, I think that's what got him in trouble. | ||
I feel like I remember some, like it being some sexual. | ||
Yeah, there it is. | ||
unidentified
|
What are you saying, Jamie? | |
They're having sex with children. | ||
Oh, Jesus. | ||
That's what they got him. | ||
If they wanted to bust him on something, if they really wanted to bring him down, that's what they would accuse him of. | ||
Once someone accuses you of sex with children, even if you're not guilty, it's on you forever. | ||
But the thing is, no one has ever pulled off a utopian alternative society. | ||
Never. | ||
It's crazy. | ||
It's really interesting because the entire history of the United States, no one's been able to do it. | ||
Like, they try it, they'll try it for a little bit, and then it falls apart. | ||
Every single one of them. | ||
That's amazing. | ||
It's amazing that no one, whether it's Waco, no one. | ||
It's like this. | ||
I look at it like the line from The Matrix. | ||
It's like, you know, our first version of The Matrix kept failing because it was all too good and too nice. | ||
We had to fuck it up a little for everybody to accept it. | ||
Wow. | ||
To me, it's quite fascinating that we stick to a standard way of living, which is our modern, industrial, Western civilization. | ||
And that is it. | ||
And any deviation of that is scrutinized to the point where it's dismantled and the government steps in. | ||
They always have guns, too. | ||
They always have guns. | ||
Way too many guns. | ||
Way too many guns because they want to protect their way of life. | ||
And then someone's banging people's wives and taking all the money. | ||
Fascinating. | ||
It's weird that not one has figured it out. | ||
Not one group has just got it nailed. | ||
Well, it's probably part of the thing that power corrupts. | ||
You can't have one person that's like the almighty know-it-all of a thing because he's going to take advantage and then somebody smart within the clique is going to say, hey, this is not right and it's going to fall apart. | ||
And it always is one person. | ||
Or there's going to be a person underneath that wants that position and is going to do something to get it. | ||
But it's always like one charismatic person that seems to lead these things. | ||
Like whether it's Jonestown or whether it's Waco. | ||
Charles Manson. | ||
Yep. | ||
Yep. | ||
Yeah. | ||
It's always one dude who's like, this society's fucked up, man. | ||
You can take that and apply it to Hitler. | ||
Yep. | ||
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
You know what I mean? | ||
Yeah. | ||
One guy gets everybody's attention and next thing you know, Yeah, it is weird, isn't it? | ||
Like this desire to have a big daddy who got all the answers. | ||
Who's better than us. | ||
Because we're all so confused. | ||
It would be very comforting if someone came along who really understood it all. | ||
I've got the solution. | ||
And especially if they have a big-ass, giant, crazy white beard like Osho did. | ||
And then they bowed you everywhere. | ||
Or if their answers blame the people you wanted to blame. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
That's another good technique. | ||
What does everybody want to be? | ||
Okay, that's what we're going to blame it on. | ||
We'll focus our hate. | ||
Capitalism. | ||
Capitalism. | ||
The government. | ||
A lot of these things don't work out because they have to be based on what we talked about earlier. | ||
Doing unto others as you want them to do. | ||
Truthfully living that lifestyle. | ||
When it doesn't happen like that. | ||
Cats get the power. | ||
They get in charge. | ||
They want to keep that power. | ||
They want to stay in charge. | ||
And they're not going to treat other people the way they want it. | ||
They're going to start intimidating people because that's the way you keep people in line. | ||
Always. | ||
Always. | ||
People want to be, you know, subjugated, man. | ||
Like you're saying, they want somebody to babysit and say, oh, I can just sit over here and just be dumb? | ||
Okay, cool. | ||
And if no one was in charge, someone would come along that would want to be in charge. | ||
Someone would say, you know what the problem with this organization is? | ||
There's no leadership. | ||
We need a strong leader. | ||
We need someone who respects the values and principles this society was founded on, but someone who also understands how to be a leader. | ||
And then people go, yes, yes. | ||
That makes so much sense. | ||
Yes. | ||
unidentified
|
Guide us. | |
They just want to... | ||
It's the same thing. | ||
It's what goes on in Instagram. | ||
Everybody wants to believe that that guy's got his shit together. | ||
That guy's got his shit together, man. | ||
Fuck, I want to be like that. | ||
Not knowing that behind the scenes... | ||
He's falling apart. | ||
He's falling the fuck apart, man. | ||
I know. | ||
They're just trying to make it look like they got their shit together. | ||
I had a friend recently. | ||
No names or anything, but like... | ||
A friend in a couple you would never ever in your life think they were the... | ||
I mean, I was like, man, I just want to have a relationship like yours. | ||
You know what I mean? | ||
And no fuss or mess or anything. | ||
One day, I just turn around and they have their Instagram names are different. | ||
And all of a sudden, I call them, what's up? | ||
And he's like, oh, yeah, we just... | ||
It didn't work. | ||
We couldn't fake it anymore. | ||
It was like... | ||
I don't know if it's that serious, but it just shows you none of that shit is real, because we don't put our shit moments up for everybody to see. | ||
Yeah. | ||
Elon Musk talked about that, too. | ||
The people that you see on Instagram that you think are on social media that you think are the happiest are probably pretty sad. | ||
The people with the biggest smiles are fucking struggling the most, for sure. | ||
Yeah, well, they're trying to project that. | ||
They're always trying to project you the best version of what their life got. | ||
You know what gets the best response all over my Instagram? | ||
When I post about my family or even our struggles, like, this is rough right now. | ||
But you share it. | ||
You say, huh. | ||
But we're going to get through. | ||
We're going to be all right. | ||
Well, that's one of the things that people like about you, you know, is that you're real. | ||
You're not, I mean, even though you're a famous guy who's been a successful musician for a long time. | ||
He's kind of famous. | ||
I used to be famous. | ||
But you're you. | ||
You're a normal dude, you know? | ||
I take that as the highest compliment. | ||
You should. | ||
It is the highest compliment. | ||
I take that as a seriously high compliment. | ||
I gotta wrap this podcast up because I have to shit my pants. | ||
Alright, before we do, tomorrow night, the Brooklyn Bowl. | ||
Friday, August 5th at the Brooklyn Bowl, UFC Ultimate Pre-Party. | ||
T. Woodley is hosting. | ||
Oh, beautiful. | ||
Oh yeah, Psycho Realm and my man Evidence. | ||
If you want to get a discount, UFC Unfiltered is the code. | ||
Put it in there. | ||
Come see us tomorrow night. | ||
It's gonna be the bomb. | ||
And get it, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
Everlast, Whitey Ford, House of Pain, available now, everywhere. | ||
Thank you, my brother. |