Jan. 2, 2018 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:54:59
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Is this static I'm hearing just in the headphones? | |
| You hearing something? | ||
| Yeah, but it's gone now, I think. | ||
| Live? | ||
|
unidentified
|
And we're live, and we're live for happy motherfucking new year. | |
| Remember when we used to think that the world was going to end? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I used to think that the world was going to end in 2012. You even had the license plate. | |
| I did. | ||
| I had a 2012 license plate. | ||
| I was convinced. | ||
| I was like, those Mayans, man, they knew it. | ||
| I thought it was real, for sure. | ||
| The computer thing. | ||
| Remember the Y2K? Yeah, I thought that too. | ||
| I stayed home for Y2K. Paranoid. | ||
| I was too. | ||
| The clock rolled over. | ||
| Planes falling from the sky. | ||
| Yeah, everybody's worried about the whole grid shutting down, right? | ||
| They wouldn't be able to get it up for months. | ||
| People would run out of food. | ||
| I was listening to Art Bell a lot back then. | ||
| Oh, cheers. | ||
| Cheers. | ||
| Happy New Year. | ||
| Happy eight years of episodes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Eight years of episodes, 2018. 2018 doesn't sound like a real number. | ||
| It's one of those numbers, you say it and you go, yeah, I guess you're right. | ||
| But 2018, that's like way too close to 2020, which is like space. | ||
| That's like the future. | ||
| It's like a movie. | ||
| You know, like Alien. | ||
| When you watch the first Alien... | ||
| One with Sigourney Weaver from the late 70s. | ||
| It was like 1979. What do you think the timeline was supposed to be? | ||
| It's probably 2001. You know? | ||
| Because there's like a lot of movies. | ||
| Like I think Blade Runner was something like 2017 or something like that. | ||
| I want to say, I don't remember, but I want to say Blade Runner was like 2030 or something like that. | ||
| There was all the flying cars and shit, remember? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Weren't there? | |
| Flying cars? | ||
| Or am I thinking of Fifth Element? | ||
| No, there was flying cars because I remember the cars going through the cool billboards and stuff. | ||
| I confused my sci-fi movies a lot. | ||
| Like old ones? | ||
| Blade Runner's 2019. 2019? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, that's insane. | ||
| That's a year from now. | ||
| That's, wow, that's weird. | ||
| That shows how slow it actually is, technology. | ||
| You think it's fast. | ||
| It shows how bad movie writers are at guessing. | ||
| I don't think it shows anything else. | ||
| I think the guy who's been the best at predicting shit was like, wasn't H.G. Wells really good? | ||
| I feel like H.G. Wells, the science fiction author from, I think he was from the 1800s. | ||
| H.G. Wells. | ||
| But I think he predicted a lot of shit. | ||
| There's a couple articles about all the stuff he predicted. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The many futuristic predictions of H.G. Wells that came true. | ||
| Alright, let's see what we got here. | ||
| What did he do? | ||
| Born 150 years ago. | ||
| Phones, email, and television. | ||
| What? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| In Men Like Gods in 1923, Wells invites readers to a futuristic utopia that's essentially Earth after thousands of years of progress. | ||
| In this alternate reality, people communicate exclusively with wireless systems that employ a kind of co-mingling of voicemail and email-like properties. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| For in Utopia, except by previous arrangement, people do not talk together on the telephone, he writes. | ||
| A message is sent to the station of the district in which the recipient is known to be, and there it waits until he chooses to tap his accumulated messages. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| And any that one wishes to repeat can be repeated. | ||
| Then he talks back to the senders and dispatches any other messages he wishes. | ||
| The transmission is wireless. | ||
| How? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| What? | ||
| I'd like to know if he did drugs back then, like if he was doing mushrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, man, I want to know. | |
| He also imagined forms of true entertainment. | ||
| It says, in When the Sleeper Wakes from 1899, the protagonist rouses from two centuries of slumber to a dystopian London in which citizens used wondrous forms of technology like the audiobook, airplane, and television, yet suffer systematic oppression and social injustice. | ||
| What in the fuck, man? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| What the fuck, HG Wells? | ||
| Lasers. | ||
| Dude, how is he so good? | ||
| It's probably mushrooms. | ||
| I mean, think of something that hasn't been invented in a hundred years now. | ||
| What would you invent? | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| Here's our problem. | ||
| I think it's almost impossible, once you know something exists, to imagine a world in which it didn't exist. | ||
| See, you and I are unique because we're old as fuck. | ||
| I'm older as fucker than you, but we remember when there was no internet. | ||
| I think we're the last of the people that are going to remember what life is like when there's no internet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And what's next? | ||
| What's the thing that hasn't been invented that we'll remember we saw the first of? | ||
| Like VR? Good question. | ||
| Like having glasses always being... | ||
| Well, I think that magic leap shit that you know that you've seen that new headset that they Are saying they're gonna eventually wind up selling you have like a hip pack and you wear these goggles. | ||
| Mm-hmm, dude That seems like step one to me Yeah, Apple is putting all their money in AR instead of VR for that reason, right? | ||
| That's what this is, right? | ||
| Mm-hmm This looks like Blade Runner. | ||
| Yeah, maybe that movie's not so far off The one from Columbus, Ohio? | ||
| Blade Runner. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Like, maybe they're only off by a year. | ||
| Ready Player One. | ||
| Ready Player One. | ||
| Have you seen the preview for that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| That's what pretty much this exact same thing is right here. | ||
| But this is the Microsoft one? | ||
| What is the difference? | ||
| This is Magic Leap. | ||
| Ready Player One's a movie. | ||
| So Magic Leap is not Microsoft. | ||
| Which one's the Microsoft one? | ||
| That would be HoloLens. | ||
| Magic Leap is the one that's in Florida. | ||
| They went way away from everybody else so that they're not getting their technology compromised by it. | ||
| And these are the ones where they had that little dancer that dances on your hand? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So this is the really intense, lifelike, augmented reality one. | ||
| Nobody knew what it was going to look like. | ||
| They thought any prototype had a big, giant backpack on, and they finally got it down to this little puck. | ||
| This is the first time we're actually seeing... | ||
| This also might not be the final version. | ||
| It could be smaller, it could be a little bigger. | ||
| Don't exactly know. | ||
| Looks cool. | ||
| It looks very cool. | ||
| It looks like superhero cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But the thing is, it's so obvious that you're wearing it. | ||
| Yeah, they need to get rid of that part and integrate it into the headset. | ||
| There's like this hip part. | ||
| I don't think you're supposed to wear it in public. | ||
| At least this. | ||
| This is probably like a home work type thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| Wherever you use a personal computer. | ||
| I feel like we're looking at the seed of a future thing that's gonna eat us. | ||
| I'm looking at that, I'm like, that is exactly how it starts. | ||
| The electronics cling to the outside and become inseparable. | ||
| And then slowly they work their way into the organism itself, to the inside. | ||
| The organism will accept symbiosis as long as the electronics stay on the outside. | ||
| But if it goes inside, like if the only way to use your cell phone was to stick it in your ass, right? | ||
| That's the only way it works. | ||
| We have a new cell phone and it works. | ||
| All you have to do is just stick it in your ass and then just carry it around with you and you make calls with your mind. | ||
| And it's a flip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We would say no way. | ||
| We can't do it. | ||
| But as long as the electronics are on the outside. | ||
| Like, dude, they're going to give you a helmet. | ||
| The electronics are going to go right into your eyes. | ||
| You're going to see some shit that's not there. | ||
| You're like, okay. | ||
| Wearable clothing tech is the future. | ||
| There's even, I think, Levi's and Microsoft or Google teamed up, and they're trying to do a jacket, like a tech jacket, where you just look at your jacket and read text and stuff off the sleeve and stuff. | ||
| Imagine having a shirt and going, like, today I want a purple shirt. | ||
| Today I want a blue shirt. | ||
| Or you're getting text messages pop up on your shirt. | ||
| Or if there's a lost child, the child's face is on everybody's shirt. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| I think wearable clothing is going to be pretty big soon. | ||
| Yeah, especially if you could get your arm, if it actually could open up where it looks like a screen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or if it can get that good, where there's no benefit. | ||
| And nobody wants a cell phone with a shitty screen. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because isn't that the big debate now? | ||
| They all look amazing to me because I'm going blind. | ||
| I can barely see. | ||
| But if I look at the iPhone X versus the Google Pixel 2 XL, they all look really good. | ||
| Yeah, it's more like brightness now to me. | ||
| It's like, oh, this one seems brighter. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| They all look really good. | ||
| They all look amazing. | ||
| I mean, we're really nitpicking, which is good. | ||
| It just shows you how good things are. | ||
| But could you ever reproduce that on your sleeve? | ||
| Yeah, they already have. | ||
| That perfect? | ||
| Well, the technology's not 100% there, but they already have bendable LCDs, right? | ||
| And stuff like that. | ||
| But the thing is, having it feel like clothing instead of this big chunk that's on your shirt, like those things you see at the mall. | ||
| I was talking to Gina of Speedweed about this, and the idea of having a hat. | ||
| Imagine a hat where you can have any logo you want on your hat. | ||
| You could change it any day. | ||
| And then you could also have it so it just moves or something. | ||
| Like if it's the Nike swoosh, you see like the smoke coming out of the, you know. | ||
| How cool would that be? | ||
| And it's weird that we don't see that as a normal thing yet. | ||
| Because it seems like that's already there. | ||
| You could do that hat right now, probably. | ||
| Have a little 3G connection so you can download things on it, you know, using the little thing on the top of the hat. | ||
| Yeah, you probably could. | ||
| You probably could. | ||
| I mean, anything that you can imagine in the future is probably going to be possible. | ||
| Like, anything. | ||
| Anything you can imagine. | ||
| I don't think there's going to be a time in our lifetime where change is going to happen as quickly as it's happening now. | ||
| What about shoes? | ||
| Where where you could just have like instead of walking your shoes just roll, you know, like like kind of glide along glide. | ||
| Yeah Isn't that what I was always goofing around about the aliens that what aliens are is what we imagine is us in the future And maybe that's what they really are. | ||
| Maybe that they're time travelers because if you had to think like If you go back and look at ancient Like Australopithecus. | ||
| You ever see like a depiction of Australopithecus? | ||
| It's like this weird sort of half-human monkey things, like one of the first people. | ||
| And if you go back and look at that, and then you look at a regular person today that maybe, you know, takes a spin class. | ||
| You know, go to the one where he's standing up. | ||
| There's some pictures of what they think they would have looked like. | ||
| It's weird because there is people that look kind of like these people. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yeah, you'll see them once in a while. | ||
| Some people that are pretty hairy, too. | ||
| I mean, they think there's all sorts of different kinds of people, too. | ||
| That's another thing that we forget. | ||
| There was a bunch of different kinds of people that died off. | ||
| But the idea is all these people, right, all these different kinds of little people, they eventually evolve to be human. | ||
| Right? | ||
| If they stay alive, they get to a point, well, what happens if you pass the human thing? | ||
| Do you just stop at human? | ||
| I don't think you could stop at human. | ||
| This is not perfect. | ||
| This is not perfect. | ||
| This is better. | ||
| It's better than, you know, killing each other with rocks in the trees. | ||
| It's better than that. | ||
| But it's definitely, we're getting better at this. | ||
| It's obvious we're getting better at being people. | ||
| Collectively. | ||
| So like, where does it go? | ||
| Does it go to we just move everything with our brains and our heads are that big? | ||
| Robots. | ||
| And we fuck up the environment so bad that we need sunglasses permanently on the outside. | ||
| And that's what those alien, the black eyes, we just fixed it. | ||
| We just give you a fake lens. | ||
| Your skin's like bulletproof. | ||
| You move everything with your brain. | ||
| Nobody needs a mouth anymore. | ||
| No sex organs. | ||
| It got too complicated. | ||
| Gender. | ||
| This is the year. | ||
| Like, this is, the machines confused us. | ||
| And got us to the point where they could deliver orgasms through like little injections in the back of your brain. | ||
| You just gave them way more intense orgasms than you would ever get jerking off or having sex. | ||
| And so everybody just stopped having sex and our dicks and vaginas just... | ||
| They just sealed up. | ||
| We figured out food to the point where there's no more waste. | ||
| So no one has to shit. | ||
| We just nailed it. | ||
| The perfect balance. | ||
| No one's ever overweight. | ||
| That's how they have sex in Demolition, man. | ||
| They put those headsets on and sit across from each other. | ||
| Oh yeah, they had their feet in the water. | ||
| Is that water? | ||
| No, that's not water. | ||
| It looks like water. | ||
| That's where the girl drips into. | ||
| That's so strange. | ||
| That's how they had sex. | ||
| You know, that's probably going to be better. | ||
| We gave it this physical thing. | ||
| We gave it a shot. | ||
| It's too complicated. | ||
| The food thing makes the most sense because we are probably gonna run out of food and having like the future of food is gonna be really weird where it's just gonna be like almost like a Brick like a vitamin. | ||
| Well, there's my steak. | ||
| You know, there's Yeah, man, right the future of food Like when they're you know, there was some article a real recent like I think maybe even today, that was talking about their progress in synthetic meat. | ||
| To be able to just make meat in a laboratory. | ||
| Which is, whoo! | ||
| That's a game changer. | ||
| Don't they already have it where you can buy it now? | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| I was going to bring this up the other day when you talked about it. | ||
| Fatburger has the Impossible Burger. | ||
| Oh, but that's a plant-based meat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're not live-based. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They've had those for a while. | ||
| People who are vegan, who used to like cheeseburgers, apparently say that this works. | ||
| That you can literally... | ||
| There's some smart people out there. | ||
| They figure out a way to make things taste different than what they really are. | ||
| There's a bunch of vegan cheeses and shit that are really good, but that's not what I'm talking about. | ||
| I'm talking about lab-created meat, actual meat, that they're somehow or another, they have some cloning process or something. | ||
| Yeah, I saw something about it the other day. | ||
| They're pretty much there, if not completed with it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If they can do that, that's fine. | ||
| If it tastes the same, I would go with lab-created meat. | ||
| Lab-created meat. | ||
| That's probably better for you. | ||
| I'm just imagining... | ||
| You know what I'm imagining? | ||
| Power outage. | ||
| A warehouse filled with lab-created meat. | ||
| Stuck in the pipes. | ||
| What do you think the expiration date is on a lab-created meat? | ||
| Forever. | ||
| They just engineer it with the right bacteria so it could stay on the shelf indefinitely. | ||
| I remember making a mistake that the first time the grocery store had these things called, I don't, complete meals? | ||
| I don't know what the fuck it's called, but it's like meat, like biscuits and gravy, but not in the cold section, not in the hot section, and you barely had to heat it up. | ||
| It was just like kind of ready-to-go meals. | ||
| Me and my friend ate it, but I think we both got sick as fuck. | ||
| It's so disgusting. | ||
| But, I mean, they're still out there. | ||
| This was seven years ago. | ||
| It's like those little meals for kids that aren't really food. | ||
| Lunchables? | ||
| Lunchables. | ||
| Those things are the worst for people. | ||
| That's not even food. | ||
| Yeah, those little cheese things you stick a cracker in? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| Those are so gross. | ||
| Some of them. | ||
| Somebody must have a good one by now. | ||
| Good little, like... | ||
| Starbucks has like a decent little snack pack, right? | ||
| Don't they have one with like celery and beets and shit? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yeah, they have all this stuff. | ||
| Starbucks is pretty good. | ||
| AMC movie theaters has waffles and chicken now. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| The healthy option thing is because people demand it, right? | ||
| Why wouldn't they have it? | ||
| It's like there's money in it. | ||
| If you go to Starbucks, sometimes if you're trying to not take in too much sugar or something like that, you look at all that stuff and you're like, God damn it, there's got to be something here for me. | ||
| What's here for me? | ||
| Like you got all your tasty eyesight options, right? | ||
| Like those cake pops, like damn, I might just go off the reservation and get a fucking cake pop. | ||
| It's like weird. | ||
| They're selling sugar just as much as they're selling coffee, which is great. | ||
| Have you had the Bantam bagels? | ||
| The bagel balls? | ||
| I heard they're amazing. | ||
| I used to like their chocolate croissants. | ||
| But then I found the coffee beans chocolate croissants to be more delectable. | ||
| So if I was going to go off, I'd go to the coffee bean. | ||
| I don't mess with that. | ||
| I don't mess with Starbucks. | ||
| You have a relationship with Starbucks? | ||
| It's just right next door. | ||
| Every time I get a coffee bean, though, when you get used to a certain taste of coffee, even if the coffee's better, it's really hard to go, like, that's not an iced coffee. | ||
| In my head, an iced coffee is Starbucks iced coffee. | ||
| This is just, like, some other bullshit. | ||
| Like, I went to Denny's the other day. | ||
| Maybe the best coffee I've had in a long time. | ||
| And you can't buy that anywhere. | ||
| You have to go to Denny's. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They don't sell Denny's coffee? | ||
| No, I was looking for a K-cup for it. | ||
| You know, the little Keurig's cups. | ||
| Denny's is, uh... | ||
| That's probably like the biggest breakfast chain ever, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's got to be. | ||
| It's like IHOP and Denny's. | ||
| Those are the two. | ||
| There's a balance between how delicious it is, how cheap it is. | ||
| You've got to be real careful with that balance. | ||
| It's a different concept than a regular restaurant. | ||
| A regular restaurant But it is a regular restaurant, right? | ||
| I mean, IHOP's a fucking regular restaurant. | ||
| I had a burger there the other day. | ||
| But even if you eat there, you're like, even if you eat healthy there, you're like, I fucked up and went to IHOP. Right. | ||
| Because everything is so delicious. | ||
| You're looking at whipped cream on top of shit and the menu and those maraschino cherries. | ||
| And you're like, oh, Jesus, this is at IHOP? And then you have that row of syrup already on your table. | ||
| I think I want to add blueberry taste to it. | ||
| If you're gonna just go off, IHOP's the spot to go off. | ||
| Did you see the story? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| South Carolina man hilariously cooks himself breakfast at Waffle House while employee sleeps. | ||
| Oh my god, that's funny. | ||
| Yeah, he's taking pictures. | ||
| The guy is just asleep in the corner. | ||
| Oh my god, that is hilarious. | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Is that illegal? | ||
| Could those guys get in trouble for that? | ||
| I mean, taking the pictures and incriminating yourself, probably not the smartest move and putting them online, but probably not. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| It's like a no harm, no foul kind of thing, I think. | ||
| No harm, no foul. | ||
| He got hurt in this situation. | ||
| I wonder if he put money down, though. | ||
| He said he came back. | ||
| It says he came back the next day and gave a $5 tip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| One employee working a whole Waffle House. | ||
| What if like 10 people walk in? | ||
| 20 people walk in? | ||
| That seems weird. | ||
| That seems ridiculous. | ||
| I hate Waffle House. | ||
| Waffle Houses are amazing. | ||
| You like Waffle House? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| If you're on the road, it's like 3 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| They're like the greatest things that have ever existed. | ||
| If you're on the road, like... | ||
| Let's pick up some weird spot in South Carolina or something like that. | ||
| That's exactly where this was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| West Columbia. | ||
|
unidentified
|
West Columbia. | |
| See? | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| That was just a straight-up guess. | ||
| All the Waffle Houses in Ohio are connected to strip clubs, so I always considered it being gross food because... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| We've probably been to about 10 of those on the road. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're always a good option. | ||
| It's also 24 hours, so... | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| That's why it's so crazy. | ||
| That's why it gets weird. | ||
| Waffle houses get weird. | ||
| 3 a.m. | ||
| New Year's Eve, Waffle House. | ||
| All it takes is one crazy person to walk in. | ||
| Guy Fiera just had to close his restaurant. | ||
| You say that with glee. | ||
| Why do you do that? | ||
| He's a Columbus, Ohio native. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| He looks like a Columbus, Ohio native. | ||
| You gotta support your own. | ||
| No, I'm just saying that went fast. | ||
| Guy Fieri is a funny guy. | ||
| I like people that wear their sunglasses backwards on their neck. | ||
| But you know what I don't get with him is why so many people get rigged. | ||
| I guess they don't like that he spikes his hair. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| What is it that they don't like? | ||
| I think it's just an easy target. | ||
| I don't know if they don't like him. | ||
| I mean, he seems nice. | ||
| I met him once. | ||
| He was nice. | ||
| I mean, I don't care if he likes to wear his hair like that. | ||
| It's like a Don King thing. | ||
| Am I mad at Don King? | ||
| He can't change his look. | ||
| That's what he's known for now. | ||
| Is it racist if a white guy with blonde hair spikes his hair up and people just automatically assume you're a douche? | ||
| Is that racist? | ||
| It's like a Nickelback thing. | ||
| People don't really hate them. | ||
| I mean, they probably do a little bit, but... | ||
| I wear my hair like that sometimes. | ||
| Billy Corgan, I don't know if he was trolling or not. | ||
| I don't think he was. | ||
| He was talking to me about how good he thinks Nickelback is. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| I think Nickelback has some fucking good songs. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I do. | ||
| What song? | ||
| I know the main problem people had back in the day. | ||
| Fuck you, man. | ||
| Listen, I enjoy the way that rock star song sounds. | ||
| I know that's sort of a song that's been covered, you know, like that style of song has been covered a few times, right? | ||
| But I like that one. | ||
| I mean, I like the Cypress Hill one better, remember? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So if you want to be a rockstar, you know, it's the same thing. | |
| It's the same thing. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| It's like there's a style of song of like describing what is the lifestyle of a rockstar. | ||
| The only problem with the Nickelback song is that it had been done before. | ||
| Because if it hadn't been done before, they did a really job covering that subject. | ||
| Their take on it was good. | ||
| It was very polished. | ||
| Maybe too polished for some people. | ||
| We like shit raw. | ||
| We like to hear that Janis Joplin growl. | ||
| We like to hear Amy Winehouse. | ||
| There's something we like about that raw shit just to remind us. | ||
| Remind us, you're just like us. | ||
| That's the problem I think some musicians have with Nickelback. | ||
| They're sort of considered, at least they were, what's called an in-the-box type of band, at least for recording purposes. | ||
| Aren't they Canadian? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all it is. | |
| That's all it is. | ||
| Canadians are so nice, you don't believe them. | ||
| They would record no effects on their sounds, on their guitar. | ||
| For instance, no distortion, no delay. | ||
| They would record literally putting the guitar right into this board, kind of, and it records this real weird electronic sound that you could manipulate completely in Pro Tools later, changing everything about it. | ||
| They were like one of the first bands that got popular doing that, I think. | ||
| And so that's sort of like, I'm sure traditional musicians had a big problem with it. | ||
| Isn't Nickelback the band that every single one of their songs sound exactly the same, like whiny? | ||
| That guy? | ||
| That's Nickelback. | ||
| It's not whiny. | ||
| I wouldn't say whiny. | ||
| I'd say it's poppy. | ||
| It's like very good pop music. | ||
| I mean, I'm trying to be nice here. | ||
| I like a lot of their songs. | ||
| But I'm trying to be nice here. | ||
| Like, I understand if people would get upset that it's not their style of music. | ||
| You know? | ||
| There's people that, like, they'll play something for you. | ||
| Like, they'll play the Beatles. | ||
| Like, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. | ||
| You put on some headphones and listen to Lucy. | ||
| Smoke a joint. | ||
| Put on some headphones and listen to a song. | ||
| That was created by the first wave of British superstars that came to America and they're on acid and they're saying about Lucy in the sky with diamonds and it's amazing. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| do that. | ||
| Right now? | ||
| You want us to do it right now? | ||
| I want to think about this for a second. | ||
| Just imagine... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Imagine what it was like back then. | |
| Imagine being in like 1960, whatever the fuck it was, when all this was going on. | ||
| What are you playing in the background? | ||
| It takes forever. | ||
| I thought I was going crazy. | ||
| Am I too stoned? | ||
| I was listening to Led Zeppelin came on last night and I forgot. | ||
| I don't know how to say the word Dire Maker. | ||
| How do you say the name of that song? | ||
| It's a badass song. | ||
| I forgot. | ||
| Oh, dude, there's so many good songs. | ||
| There's so many good songs. | ||
| Now, this is the thing. | ||
| These songs are better. | ||
| They're better than Nickelback. | ||
| But Nickelback's not bad. | ||
| It's just, if you want to compare Jimi Hendrix to the rest of the world, the rest of the world's gonna suck a fat dick. | ||
| There's a guy that knew how to do it better than everybody else. | ||
| Doesn't mean that... | ||
| Doesn't mean Eric Clapton wasn't an amazing guitarist. | ||
| It means everybody always looks at Jimi Hendrix in a better way. | ||
| For whatever reason, man. | ||
| For whatever reason. | ||
| You know, I'm sure there's people that would see it the opposite way. | ||
| Doesn't mean Nickelback sucks. | ||
| They're better than your band, bro. | ||
| Like, they would just wear the Beatles, you know? | ||
| Yeah, but that's like a... | ||
| I guess there's a different category between, like, you know, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Nickelback, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| Maybe there is. | ||
| But maybe we should just relax. | ||
| I mean, I'll take two smash mouths over. | ||
| I'm just saying maybe we should just relax. | ||
| Like, about everything. | ||
| I think we're picking, we're looking for tribal enemies that don't exist. | ||
| You know, just because you like to eat, you know, falafels and, you know, like extra ketchup on your fries and I don't. | ||
| You know, or you like to go running and I like to take naps. | ||
| You know, who cares? | ||
| This is my perspective in 2018. I think the more we can relax that, we will have less conflict, interpersonal conflict, which often fuels extra-personal conflict. | ||
| This is 2018. Gotta let it go. | ||
| You can like Nickelback. | ||
| I told somebody that I like Ellie King, and they gave me like a sidewards face. | ||
| I'm like, fuck you. | ||
| I don't even know who that is. | ||
| You know who that is? | ||
| No. | ||
| You ever heard that song, X's and O's? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. | ||
| Dude, she's badass. | ||
| X's and O's. | ||
| Her whole album is badass. | ||
| What is that album called? | ||
| Do you call it an album anymore? | ||
| Because it was an album and then you were an old man if you were calling it an album. | ||
| It's a CD, bro. | ||
| Then it stopped being a CD and it became an album again. | ||
| I download, so I just say I downloaded it. | ||
| Right, but what do you say? | ||
| You say it's an album. | ||
| I still say CD, I think. | ||
| I don't think I do album. | ||
| But do you remember when people would mock you if you said album? | ||
| Because they'd be like, you mean CD? It's just CD now. | ||
| You call it a CD. Like, oh, okay, okay. | ||
| That was like a phase where people got cunty about the distinctions between CDs and albums. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, vinyl made a little comeback... | ||
| During the CD era, people decided that vinyl was... | ||
| How would you describe it, Jamie? | ||
| What's the difference between the sound? | ||
| Oh, it's warmer. | ||
| It's got a nice warm sound. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You always say warmer. | ||
| Hey, vinyl's huge now. | ||
| Yeah, it's still big. | ||
| I went to a vinyl store the other day that was like being in a record store in the 70s. | ||
| It was all vinyl. | ||
| Well, people are digging it, man. | ||
| They get into it. | ||
| It's a tactile relationship with the music. | ||
| That's what Henry Rollins was explaining to me. | ||
| And the way he describes it, it's really intoxicating because he's such an addict to that kind of music. | ||
| And he has... | ||
| Whole set up in his house with these crazy speakers that are like stupid expensive and he has this amazing record collection and he'll just sit there and play his records. | ||
| And he does a radio show, I believe it's once a week, is it once a week? | ||
| He does a radio show once a week where he picks the songs and he plays the music. | ||
| It's all his selections. | ||
| What is it on KCRW? Yeah, so he's got these fucking nutty-ass speakers, man. | ||
| Look at these things. | ||
| And he stands in front of these things. | ||
| I really enjoyed talking to him, man. | ||
| He's a uniquely unusual person. | ||
| I always thought he was like, I'm gonna be completely honest. | ||
| When he was a young guy and he did that Beavis and Butthead thing, Liar. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| What? | ||
| Beavis and Butthead, it was hilarious, dude. | ||
| He had an amazing song called I'm a Liar. | ||
| You ever seen Rollins? | ||
| You don't know that song? | ||
| It was like one of his breakout hit songs. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| He was super jacked. | ||
| That was in his full-on powerlifting days. | ||
| And I remember seeing him going, this guy is like way too intense. | ||
| How is this a fucking singer in a band? | ||
| That guy looks like he wants to rip your fucking head clean off your body and just pull your guts through your neck hole. | ||
| He looked so crazy scary. | ||
| And I could never figure it out. | ||
| I was like, that's so weird that this guy is a singer. | ||
| In my mind, a singer had to be a certain type of person. | ||
| They had to be a Jon Bon Jovi. | ||
| Or they had to be Robert Plant. | ||
| There was a style that you could be a singer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he was just this completely new weird thing. | |
| This jacked up power lifter covered in tattoos. | ||
| I was like, whoa! | ||
| But when you meet him, maybe it's because I'm meeting him later in his life when he's Mellowed and matured, but he is one of the most fascinating guys I've ever talked to. | ||
| One of the most absolutely unique individuals. | ||
| Like, oh, I never met one of you. | ||
| The guy is obsessed with productivity and work and creating. | ||
| Obsessed with it. | ||
| He writes for a bunch of different publications. | ||
| Constantly writing. | ||
| Constantly traveling. | ||
| Goes to places, just gets on a plane, flies over to that spot, lands, buys water, and starts fucking meeting people. | ||
| Doesn't know where the fuck he is. | ||
| Just puts himself in these weird positions. | ||
| And some of them, like, super dangerous. | ||
| Fascinating guy, man. | ||
| Never met a guy like him. | ||
| I heard him on Ari's podcast. | ||
| One of the main podcasts that he did that really, like, fucking blew my mind was him describing all this travel that he does on Ari's show. | ||
| Because, you know, Ari's a travel nut, too. | ||
| So the two of them together, it's like, wow. | ||
| I think he probably was one of the inspirations, or at least helped fuel the inspiration that Ari had when he already took off for like four months. | ||
| I didn't know he was on Ari's podcast. | ||
| That's a good catch for Ari. | ||
| It's an amazing episode. | ||
| I believe they were in Edinburgh. | ||
| I believe they were there for the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh. | ||
| And I think that Ari was performing, and he's going to get mad. | ||
| I know he told me this story, and I don't remember it. | ||
| You hear a lot of stories, though. | ||
| I heard too many. | ||
| Somehow or another, someone set it up. | ||
| But it's a great podcast, nonetheless, however it transpired. | ||
| But Henry Rollins is... | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Not all those who wander are lost. | ||
| That's exactly what the name is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Skeptic Tank 277. Yeah. | |
| It's an awesome podcast. | ||
| I mean, like a life changer. | ||
| Like you listen to that podcast and what he gets out of travel, you go, oh yeah, why wasn't I looking at it that way? | ||
| Like, you know, why was I just going to places going up? | ||
| Can you drink the water? | ||
| Is this safe? | ||
| Like, is this okay? | ||
| Whereas he's going over there going, what do you do, man? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Like, what are you people up to? | ||
| He's, like, really, like, going into uncharted territories all the time on a regular basis. | ||
| Picks a spot on the map, just goes. | ||
| That's one of the things that I've always said about Ari. | ||
| I like people who just go for it. | ||
| Ari Shafir just goes for it. | ||
| He goes away for four months. | ||
| He just vanishes. | ||
| He goes for it with how he does comedy. | ||
| I'm going to go do comedy in China. | ||
| He just goes for it. | ||
| It would be funny when he vanishes that he actually has another life that he doesn't tell anybody about, like a family, kids. | ||
| Gay husband. | ||
| Didn't he have an entire another life when you guys did a podcast together and Ari did Salvia on your podcast? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the way he described it is like he... | ||
| I'm not conflating these, right? | ||
| This is... | ||
| Am I confusing this? | ||
| This is when... | ||
| It was the same... | ||
| He did it on your podcast. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then this was the Salvia trip where he said that he lived like a whole life for like three months. | ||
| And there was something with water in a bus or something like that. | ||
| Well, there was... | ||
|
unidentified
|
He... | |
| I'm sure he's described it somewhere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I'll find out. | |
| He felt like he had lived a whole life like for months a whole different life for months and then came back from that trip Like it just happened he realized oh my god, no, I just took salvia They really got rid of salvia fast, didn't they? | ||
| Remember when that was legal, you just buy it online, and then within like a year, they just kind of took care of salvia. | ||
| What is the distinction legally for salvia now? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What's the scheduling? | ||
| They went fast on that. | ||
| Legal marijuana. | ||
| But dude, salvia is way stronger than marijuana. | ||
| This is what people didn't know. | ||
| People were going to their pot dealers, and they're trying to get some good weed. | ||
| You want to have a good experience. | ||
| Salvia used to be for sale at head shops everywhere, and it was one of the most blow-out-of-your-fucking-mind psychedelics you could ever encounter. | ||
| You still buy it? | ||
| I used to buy it times 80 concentrated. | ||
| 120x right here. | ||
| 120x? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| It's even stronger now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| I bet it's not legal. | ||
| I wonder if it shows what states they will ship to, or if you try to buy it, it tells you, like, hey, this is illegal. | ||
| It says it's legal in most parts of the world, including the United States. | ||
| Here's the big problem with all these things. | ||
| I think all these things could be handled way better than they have been. | ||
| So people are going buck wild with them. | ||
| Whether it's mushrooms or whether it's LSD or anything, people left these important compounds in the hands of people that were willing to take them illegally. | ||
| And that's where most of our data is coming from. | ||
| Because they couldn't do any tests on anything. | ||
| Everything was just schedule one, schedule one. | ||
| But the people that tested it, they're all, you know, people willing to take mushrooms. | ||
| It's a lot of people that would just white knuckle that shit to death. | ||
| Me included at various times in my life. | ||
| You tried to bring me mushrooms, I'd white-knuckle myself to death. | ||
| So it was the people, the only sampling size that we have from the benefits, the people that were wild enough to do it. | ||
| Like, what if we had actual scientists studying this shit, going, hey, maybe if we took this stuff in, like, low doses, we could evolve quicker. | ||
| Like, this really might be something, there might be something legitimate to the idea that stoned ape theory is that humans discovered psilocybin mushrooms, and that's why the brain grew Like, double its size over a period of two million years. | ||
| That's the theory, I think, right? | ||
| Mushrooms could have totally been in that mix. | ||
| With all the other stuff, too. | ||
| All the other stuff, the throwing arm, hunting, is a film on the Naughty Show podcast from an old Death Squad studio. | ||
| Oh, he said, what happened was I took a hit of salvia, but I didn't quite take a big enough hit or I didn't hold it long enough. | ||
| So it took me right to the edge of disappearing into my mind, but it didn't quite get me through the barrier. | ||
| So I took another hit. | ||
| This time the hit was as big as I could possibly muster. | ||
| It was massive. | ||
| And I held it for a really long time. | ||
| That hit alone would have been enough to make me obliterate my consciousness. | ||
| But that hit, coupled with the one from before that got me almost there, put me in another place. | ||
| I was in a lake in the backyard of my childhood home. | ||
| But I wasn't me swimming there. | ||
| I was a new being who lived under water. | ||
| It took me a little bit of time to learn how to breathe water, but then I learned. | ||
| And I was there for a while. | ||
| I mean, like, months. | ||
| At least. | ||
| I estimate I was there anywhere from four months to two years. | ||
| I made friends. | ||
| I had a life. | ||
| All underwater. | ||
| At some point in my new life, I saw Sam Tripoli at the shore of the lake. | ||
| So I swam up to him to investigate. | ||
| Parenthesis, he was just sitting... | ||
| In the chair across from me in reality. | ||
| That's when they started pulling me back into this existence. | ||
| But what they didn't know was that I couldn't breathe air anymore. | ||
| I'd forgotten how after breathing underwater for so long. | ||
| I had to relearn the experience of breathing. | ||
| And he says, man, that was a good trip. | ||
| It looked hellish if you watched the video, but what's important to understand is that the That the hellish part was not me wanting to leave my friends, family, and life in the lake. | ||
| It was just adjusting back to this reality that hurt. | ||
| But the months or years I was living there were some of the most beautiful and peaceful of my life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh shit, Ari's brain broke. | |
| Now we should look at the video and imagine that he lived there for four years. | ||
| It's totally different when you see it. | ||
| Now I feel bad for getting him into drugs. | ||
| Look, now here's what the four years he went through. | ||
| You're allowed to play audio. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a little blankie and he's snuggling. | |
| He's still holding it. | ||
| I think he's sleeping or he's dead. | ||
| So this is a video that we're watching that all took place in Brian's apartment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think he's dead. | |
| Somebody give me his fucking phone. | ||
| All right, guys, shh. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Oh my god, you had to shush people. | ||
| Well, it's like he was tripping hard. | ||
| I didn't want him to freak out. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Good call, Sam Tripoli. | ||
| Shut your mouth. | ||
| Who else is there? | ||
| Tripoli and who else? | ||
| Tripoli, Jason Tebow, Allison, and Matty Kirsch, maybe? | ||
| Oh, what a great time to trip. | ||
| All those people staring at you, talking mad shit while you're blowing out of your mind into another dimension. | ||
| Grab him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no, man. | |
| Just take your mind out. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| This is something long, so I think probably people, because this is something you gotta, it only works visually, but if you see it visually, it's fascinating. | ||
| So it's Ari Shafir on Salvia, and it's on Brian's, is it on yours? | ||
| Yeah, it's on mine. | ||
| So on Redband's YouTube page, Ari Shafir on Salvia. | ||
| Poor Ari. | ||
| Poor Ari. | ||
| Salve is why I never did DMT, because I had too many, like, okay, I'm too old for this, I'm gonna break my brain moments that I'm like, I don't need to do anymore. | ||
| Yeah, there's some weird, weird drugs out there. | ||
| Really, really weird ones. | ||
| And part of the problem with, like, legal definitions... | ||
| For like what is and isn't legal is like it's it's kind of weird and blurry like there was some stuff called 5-MeO dimethyltryptamine which is the most potent form of DMT and up until like the year 2000 and like you'd be able to order it online They would just send it to you. | ||
| It's legal just says not for human consumption. | ||
| They're like, I don't know what you're doing with it But here it is pure And you'd be able to get enough to blast yourself in the universe every day of your life until you're dead for like 50 bucks. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| It was the Wild West because people didn't know what it was yet. | ||
| Because they had made a distinction that NN-dimethyltryptamine, which is the one that gives you all the visual hallucinations, that that was more illegal. | ||
| That was a Schedule I drug. | ||
| But they had listed 5-methoxy-dimethyltryptamine, so it was in this weird state of limbo. | ||
| Salvia, they just missed it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That stuff? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I can't believe it's still legal. | ||
| Dude, there's probably a shitload of those in the Amazon. | ||
| There's probably a shitload of things that have never been discovered, and you eat some fruit, and you fucking go blast off into the center of the universe. | ||
| I bet if we could allow... | ||
| If we all decided, alright, we're gonna leave, let's have humans live everywhere except one really big spot. | ||
| No people can live in this one really big spot. | ||
| We gotta manage other kind of ecosystems in a more hands-off sort of a way, because we're just so deep, except for like the Congo and places like that. | ||
| But if there was like one country where everybody agreed, Alright, let's just leave this, leave this spot alone. | ||
| No one go in there. | ||
| Let's see what happens. | ||
| Let's see how nature evolves while we observe it with modern methods. | ||
| Just like step back for a few hundred years. | ||
| Just as a human project. | ||
| Let's see what kind of shit grows in there. | ||
| If you just leave it alone. | ||
| Because we're so fucking snippy snippy. | ||
| Let me get in there. | ||
| Let me dig. | ||
| Let me fucking cut these down and I'll plant new ones. | ||
| Don't worry about it, bro. | ||
| I'm going to plant new ones. | ||
| Dude, I got this. | ||
| I cut down the forest. | ||
| I put some new ones in. | ||
| Not saying that I'm not hypocritical sitting here in front of a wood desk. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I'm not saying don't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But... | |
| I mean, think of how weird that is. | ||
| Just leave all that shit alone who knows what kind of weird symbiotic relationships we could have with plants That might have easily been how they came up with ayahuasca in the first place They're probably eating a bunch of weird fucking plants and all those plants were talking with all those other plants And I'm like listen, | ||
| I know I know where we can get this shit bumping way quicker We got to get these monkey people To figure out how to eat these mushrooms and turn into regular people. | ||
| Imagine? | ||
| Imagine if that's really what it was all along, just grasses and leaves communicating to us through some non-verbal language and giving us this idea of how to do certain things. | ||
| And all these things are all just designed to get us to eat the mushrooms. | ||
| We eat the mushrooms, get to the point where we accelerate, to the point where we have enough brain power and enough people combined interacting with each other and sharing information that we can build artificial life. | ||
| And then that becomes the new thing. | ||
| Or, along the way, we become the aliens. | ||
| We figure out how to use that CRISPR technology. | ||
| CRISPR technology? | ||
| You know what that is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's some new thing I brought up on the podcast a lot. | ||
| So if you've heard it before, I apologize. | ||
| But it's some sort of a... | ||
| I'm going to butcher the definition again. | ||
| It's some sort of a genetic altering system that they're creating. | ||
| A gene-changing system where they can do things to the human body, potentially. | ||
| Where they can alter genetics. | ||
| They can alter DNA. It's very complicated, and I'm doing a terrible job describing it. | ||
| What it is, essentially, for a dumb person like me, really super smart people have figured out a way to change biology. | ||
| They might be able to turn genes on and off, like for autism, for Alzheimer's. | ||
| Like weird, weird genes that create birth defects or various illnesses that we've been able to figure out how to target, that we identify rather, they might be able to target those things. | ||
| They'll shut things off, turn things on. | ||
| And I think there was an article really recently saying that the original CRISPR is now even out of date and the new one is far superior. | ||
| They're just getting better at it. | ||
| They shot some shit into some dude. | ||
| There was a guy who had a disease and it was I believe it was an incurable disease. | ||
| He was the first human recipient of CRISPR technology. | ||
| That's like seeing in a science fiction movie, right? | ||
| You hear about the first guy that gave it a chance? | ||
| CRISPR 2.0 is here and it's way more precise. | ||
| See if you could find the article about the guy that was the first human recipient for CRISPR. Why is it spelled like that? | ||
| Like a 14-year-old emo kid wrote it in the basement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's no E. It's just C-R-I-S-P-R. I think they wanted it to be catchy. | |
| And I think it's also, what is that, an acronym? | ||
| It's an acronym, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I always fuck up acronym and the other one. | ||
| Like, what's the D-E-A? It's an acronym. | ||
| That's an acronym? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I thought it was an acronym when you said it. | ||
| When it could become as a word? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't think it matters. | ||
| Like, NIST. I don't know. | ||
| Right? | ||
| NASA. Like, you say NASA. You don't say the N-A-S-A. Right? | ||
| So what's the difference between those? | ||
| I think NASA isn't... | ||
| Is that... | ||
| I'm so dumb. | ||
| No, that's just weird knowledge. | ||
| An abbreviated form of the initial letters of other words and pronounced as a word. | ||
| As a word, okay. | ||
| So NASA would be an acronym, so I was right. | ||
| That was dumb as I thought. | ||
| Have another drink. | ||
| I was super nervous. | ||
| I've always been insecure about those kind of things, that you probably should know what an acronym is. | ||
| I don't know any of that shit anymore. | ||
| How do you remember that? | ||
| We were just talking about something I saw or was reminding me of something I saw on Planet Earth 2 this weekend. | ||
| It just came on Netflix. | ||
| That's so good. | ||
| There's this island that only birds can get onto. | ||
| And on this island is a tree that has these seeds. | ||
| That are sticky seeds, so they get stuck onto the birds, and when the birds travel from island to island, they kind of drop them off or whatever. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But also, the seeds can kind of trap the birds there, and they can end up... | ||
| No, I just had it right there. | ||
| They can die because they can't. | ||
| Too many of them get stuck. | ||
| The birds get stuck, and then they end up falling onto the ground and then get absorbed into the ground and eaten. | ||
| The plants sort of eat them, if you will. | ||
| Yo! | ||
| It's kind of crazy. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Okay, but here's the thing. | ||
| Is that coincidence? | ||
| Is this just like dumb luck? | ||
| Evolution, I suppose. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's, yeah. | ||
| Maybe evolution is like a word that's so under fire with a lot of people. | ||
| Maybe it's because of the ramifications of it. | ||
| That it's that we're not even we're not even gonna be the final thing it's gonna be something like where did darwin go that just how he found out about darwin's galapagos is where he went the first time imagine going there for the first time and seeing all sorts of crazy but you know that you know what's really up people have gone there and they go there with in their shoes and seeds from their shoes get into the galapagos island and non-native plants start growing And I identify that it comes from, | ||
| literally from people walking through fields near their house and wherever the fuck they live. | ||
| And then going to the Galapagos and walking around. | ||
| And that island has been so isolated that it's this delicate immune system that they have to monitor. | ||
| Just the crack in your shoe could have a seat in it. | ||
| Yeah, you know, there's a lot of those islands. | ||
| I heard the craziest story. | ||
| It's a story about goats that these pirates... | ||
| Was it pirates? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| I might have made that part up. | ||
| But these old sailors... | ||
| These old sailors used to... | ||
| We used to bring goats to islands, and they would let the goats off so the goats could populate the island, and then they would have things to eat when they would come back, because goats eat everything. | ||
| Goats are savage. | ||
| Goats in the sailor's diet during the golden age of piracy. | ||
| Okay, I didn't make it up. | ||
| See, I'm so paranoid. | ||
| I'm so paranoid of being stupid. | ||
| But it's true. | ||
| So they would show up. | ||
| They would put these goats. | ||
| They would bring boatloads of goats and just leave them on an island. | ||
| And they would say, next time we're around this area, we got food. | ||
| Just go to these stupid fucking goats. | ||
| They eat everything. | ||
| They eat everything. | ||
| But that's the thing, man. | ||
| They eat fucking everything. | ||
| They devastate ecosystems. | ||
| I had a friend who had goats. | ||
| He had goats. | ||
| He has this really sweet ranch, and he had goats. | ||
| He's like, oh, just have goats. | ||
| They'll trim up the lawn, and it'll be great. | ||
| The fuck they do? | ||
| They eat everything. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| They just eat, man. | ||
| You just leave shit out. | ||
| They eat that, and they eat everything else, too. | ||
| They eat roses. | ||
| They eat all your vegetables. | ||
| There's not a tree that's growing. | ||
| They're eating everything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ah! | |
| They just go through a hillside. | ||
| People use them. | ||
| They have, like, services where companies have trained goats, and they bring them to your farm or wherever the fuck you want, and they just let these goats loot, and it just, like, eats everything. | ||
| They shit all over the place, they eat all over the place, and they just keep going. | ||
| They're hilarious, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So they had a problem with these goats on one of these pristine islands. | ||
| There was too many of them. | ||
| So what they did is... | ||
| They took one of them and they put a collar on them so they could always locate him. | ||
| They captured him and I think they snipped him. | ||
| They gave him a little vasectomy so he couldn't make any more goats. | ||
| And then goats always flock to other goats. | ||
| So what they would do is this one guy with the collar, they would use him to locate the other goats. | ||
| Then they would gun them all down from the sky. | ||
| So they would fly over, and they're like, yep, there they are, we found them. | ||
| Gunned down all these fucking vegetable-eating goats that had invaded this island. | ||
| It's a crazy podcast. | ||
| I believe... | ||
| I'm trying to remember the name of it. | ||
| It was on Radiolab, which isn't even a sponsor, but I bring it up three times a month. | ||
| Oh, it's just called Galapagos. | ||
| Just called Galapagos? | ||
| Yeah, so it is about that very island. | ||
| It's about Galapagos, and it's about these goats that they just decided at a certain point in time that you have to control the populations of them or they're going to devastate everything else. | ||
| There's a massive imbalance. | ||
| Somebody fucked up. | ||
| They brought goats to a place where there's no predators. | ||
| Like, goats are supposed to be around like lions and shit. | ||
| You know, they're not supposed to be just by themselves, just eating everything and going off. | ||
| It'd be fun to watch them do it, though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It would be fun. | ||
| Did you hear about that YouTuber, what he's going through, Logan Paul? | ||
| I did read that, yeah. | ||
| He filmed someone who had committed suicide in Japan, and he put it on his YouTube channel. | ||
| Yeah, I guess there's this forest at the bottom of a volcano, or something? | ||
| And it's called Suicide Forest, or it's nicknamed Suicide Forest, because everyone just goes there to commit suicide. | ||
| He was going there, supposedly, to film how it's haunted, and then they find a body. | ||
| It's pretty gross how the video was. | ||
| He kind of joked about it. | ||
| He used humor. | ||
| Jamie told me that the thumbnail had him posing with the guy in the background. | ||
| I don't know anything about him, but I know he's a YouTube guy. | ||
| And he's doing stuff that he thinks is interesting and provocative. | ||
| For whatever reason. | ||
| The dialogue that I'd read was something to the likes of that he had done it to bring... | ||
| He apologized for it, which obviously felt terrible about the way people viewed it. | ||
| But that he said that... | ||
| How did he describe it? | ||
| Um... | ||
| He was trying to bring some sort of... | ||
| He thought he was going to bring some sort of an awareness to suicide, but it was like a clunky... | ||
| He just didn't do it right and paid the respect that it deserved. | ||
| He realized that he fucked up. | ||
| He's basically saying he's trying to do something and he fucked up. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It's pretty gross. | ||
| I just found out that he's not the same. | ||
| Like, there's a Jake Paul and a Logan Paul. | ||
| I thought they were the same person. | ||
| Why is everyone mad? | ||
| I don't know what anyone's mad at him for. | ||
| They're mad at him because he showed you something you didn't want to see? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Because the video, they were like, look at his hands, they're blue. | ||
| And he kind of was very poor taste. | ||
| He also advertised it the day before. | ||
| Like, I have this crazy sick video you guys are going to... | ||
| Freak out about and shit like that. | ||
| Oh, so he got a chance to look at it. | ||
| He still approved it and then released it. | ||
| Yeah, and then he made a thumbnail where it looked like he posed for like photos with the guy in the background. | ||
| It's very, you know, this was a person and and they're like laughing right next to this body, you know, it's But I don't know that disturbs the shit out of us, right? | ||
| Like making like joking around you joke around But you can't joke around near a dead guy Well, suicide's not funny. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| If the guy died, like, natural causes... | ||
| But when no one's laughing at the suicide, they're laughing at him choking around near the guy who committed suicide. | ||
| Like, I'm not saying you should do it. | ||
| You definitely shouldn't. | ||
| I don't want to see it. | ||
| But it's kind of funny that we, like, decide. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, you see, it's respectful, bro. | |
| But he didn't really do anything. | ||
| He just showed up and this guy was dead. | ||
| You know, I'm not saying he should make fun of him. | ||
| He definitely shouldn't. | ||
| But it's weird, the outrage that we have for it. | ||
| I'm sure he made a shitload of money because it got seven million views. | ||
| He made money off of suicide. | ||
| Yeah, and you're talking about it. | ||
| We're talking about it. | ||
| We're helping him out. | ||
| Well, the video got pulled, but I guess it got re-uploaded a few times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He just made a second apology today because the first apology a lot of people said was very insincere. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not defending him. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| I'm just exploring. | ||
| Look, sometimes I try to look at things from as many perspectives as I can. | ||
| You know, I don't... | ||
| I don't... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't... | |
| I don't think that you ever want to make fun of someone dying. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When you're right there, and you're taking videos, and there's a dead body hanging, it's a terrible idea. | ||
| Now, if this was 20 years ago, it would be okay, probably. | ||
| It probably would, man. | ||
| You know what the most horrific video, or photograph, rather, I think, that I ever saw about the civil rights movement? | ||
| There's this photo of all these weird white people with, like, If I remember correctly, there's kids. | ||
| I might have made that up, but I remember these people standing there while there was this black guy hanging from a tree. | ||
| It might have been more than one black guy. | ||
| And it's one of those photos that just make you go, whoa. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| They're one of the most disturbing photos ever. | ||
| This is it, right there. | ||
| Like, look at that photo. | ||
| That is the exact photo. | ||
| Oh, actually, there's a white guy there, too. | ||
| There's a white guy. | ||
| That's weird. | ||
| Was he a pirate? | ||
| There must have been something went wrong. | ||
| It's not a real photo, actually. | ||
| It's not a real photo. | ||
| Okay, that's the real one. | ||
| That's the real one. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| That is the real one. | ||
| Now I remember. | ||
| God, my memory's starting to suck. | ||
| That guy pointing up. | ||
| That looks like Hitler. | ||
| But those look like white guys, too, bro. | ||
| Oh, okay, that's black. | ||
| The guy on the left? | ||
| That's just, like, light shining stuff. | ||
| There's something super disturbing about dudes with those old-school press hats on staring up at bodies hanging from ropes. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| That wasn't that long ago, you know? | ||
| That's, uh... | ||
| That's what's horrifying. | ||
| That was less than a hundred years ago. | ||
| It still happens. | ||
| Probably, right? | ||
| What year was that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But that way... | ||
| 1930. 1930. Holy shit. | ||
| That that way was like accepted in 1930. All this new stuff, like this Magic Leap, these headsets, all these different things that we're doing... | ||
| I think they're gonna I think we're in the middle of this so it doesn't it's not registering It's how fucking ridiculous it is and how insane it is I think we're just so caught up in the frothy waves of how crazy all this new shit is That we're not we're not really paying attention enough This is this is happening way quicker than I thought it was going to I Think we're going to have flying cars by now though? | ||
| No! | ||
| It's going to be robots. | ||
| Those Boston Dynamic backflipping gymnastics robots are going to win the Olympics. | ||
| Other than proving they can do it, is there any benefit in a robot being able to do a backflip? | ||
| Dude, could you imagine? | ||
| No, there's no benefit. | ||
| Just to look cool. | ||
| I just wanted to check. | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| Could you imagine if the first robot enters into the Olympics? | ||
| And then people are like, hey, what the fuck? | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| We gave him all the strengths of a regular person. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| No more, no less. | ||
| And he has feelings too. | ||
| So let him in there and don't be robot-phobic. | ||
| It goes back to my one question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Which gender are the robots or the AI? Female, so the trainers can molest them. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| No, you know what it is? | ||
| They're the first neutral gender people and they're so much happier. | ||
| There's neutral gender. | ||
| Nobody cares about gender. | ||
| Just be nice. | ||
| That's all they care about. | ||
| There's no boy-girl. | ||
| They figured out a way to get past that with that CRISPR shit. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Have you seen that new sex robot? | ||
| You should get that for the studio. | ||
| Alright, Brian. | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| You can order it now. | ||
| But you don't want the first models, man. | ||
| It's funnier that way. | ||
| It's like one of them sharper image massage things that breaks your discs. | ||
| They don't break your discs. | ||
| I think it would be funny to have the first version now. | ||
| Early version, before they had massage chairs, they might have had massage chairs at the same time, but they had this thing that you would grab a hold of. | ||
| It had like handles on the side and it did like shiatsu. | ||
| Remember that thing? | ||
| It was like little metal knuckles that would dig into your neck. | ||
| I was like, this is amazing. | ||
| But what I was doing, I was like, how is this leak? | ||
| Someone's going to get hurt. | ||
| He gets like some little old lady and you force that fucking thing on their neck like, yo, be careful with this thing. | ||
| This thing's got some kick to it. | ||
| The best thing I ever found for that kind of shit is a Thai massage. | ||
| You ever go get a Thai massage to stand on you and stretch you out? | ||
| That's the shit. | ||
| That's better than any machine. | ||
| There's something about a person just doing it, like getting in there with their elbow. | ||
| It's so much better than any machine. | ||
| Yeah, I have this girl I go to, and she has like the handles where she holds on to, and she's just digging her knee in your back. | ||
| And I always say medium, and it hurts like hell. | ||
| I can't even imagine the hard one. | ||
| Ties have so many things nailed. | ||
| They figured out the best form of kickboxing. | ||
| You know, Thai boxing changed everything. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| This one small place figured out the way to do it was to kick people's legs. | ||
| And you know how they figured it out, man? | ||
| Gambling. | ||
| Gambling made it profitable to have fights all the time because people loved to gamble. | ||
| So they'd have all these people fighting. | ||
| In Thais, they even altered their style to accommodate the gambling. | ||
| Like the first round they would go real slow because they wanted everybody to place their bets. | ||
| So Pete, they would just take it slow and everybody knew the fight didn't really begin to the second or the third round. | ||
| So it wasn't like American fighting where you would have like a Mike Tyson who'd be cherished for knocking people out very quickly. | ||
| Like there would be over under bets. | ||
| Is this guy, is Tony Tubbs gonna last the first three minutes of the fight? | ||
| You know, is Michael Spinks gonna last the first three? | ||
| Like world-class fighters. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Imagine getting hit by Mike Tyson when he was 20 years old. | ||
| Imagine how horrible that would be. | ||
| He was at the fights this past weekend. | ||
| I said hi to him. | ||
| Hi Mike. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| It's amazing! | ||
| He's still a tank too, dude. | ||
| Terrifying looking person. | ||
| There's a video of him hitting the bag. | ||
| He's like 51 years old or something like that. | ||
| Hitting the heavy bag, and you're like, oh, okay, he could still fuck you up. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Like, in terms of, like, retired heavyweight champions, there was a trend that existed, you know, where someone would retire, and then they would, you know, they wouldn't keep their form. | ||
| They would get heavy. | ||
| And that happened with Mike. | ||
| He got, like, very heavy. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| 49-year-old type. | ||
| 49! | ||
| So this is, like, two years ago. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Dude, fuck all this. | ||
| Give me some volume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, fuck that. | |
| Dude, 49-year-old Mike Tyson will put you to sleep. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And when you're around him, you realize, you're like, he's just... | ||
| Who is that? | ||
| Oh, that's sad. | ||
| Oh, Meek. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See, I blame his trainers right there. | ||
| If I was the guy holding the camera, I'd be like, stop it. | ||
| Okay, first of all, we gotta straighten this whole thing out before you start hitting hard. | ||
| You got to move. | ||
| Look at all this. | ||
| This might be just a personal trainer, not a boxing person, but I'm looking in the background and I feel like I see boxing and stuff on the wall. | ||
| Play that. | ||
| Play that video. | ||
| Young Mike Tyson with Custom Auto. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| You want to change the way you feel about physics? | ||
| Custom Auto was old and dying. | ||
| He was a really old guy, but he had just this deep knowledge of psychology and boxing. | ||
| And he trained this unbelievably fast and powerful talented kid who had massive hunger for success. | ||
| The whole story of Mike Tyson, a lot, is wrapped up in the story of Customato, who had been around forever. | ||
| And this is his last and greatest pupil. | ||
| And Mike knew it. | ||
| Mike knew it while it was happening. | ||
| And by the time he won the Heavyweight Championship, Customato had already died. | ||
| But he dedicated it all to him. | ||
| There was nobody like him. | ||
| You know, people like, they say, oh, you know, but he never fought Ali, and he never fought these guys. | ||
| You know, his era, people weren't as good. | ||
| Maybe, maybe, but everybody in his era, he fucked up. | ||
| All of them up until Spinks. | ||
| Excuse me, until Hendrix. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, Buster, yeah. | ||
| Buster was the first one to beat him, but I meant Holyfield. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's how fucked up I am. | ||
| I said Hendrix. | ||
| I was trying to remember what the fight was. | ||
| When Holyfield beat Tyson those two fights in a row, that was big. | ||
| And when Tyson bit his ear, that was big. | ||
| That was like when you realize he's not the same guy he was. | ||
| We both lived in Columbus when Buster Douglas knocked him out. | ||
| That was a crazy... | ||
| Like, he became the big, big fucking hero. | ||
| No one knew who he was, really, I feel like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| When I was young, but... | ||
| And then he was supposed to take over the east side of the city. | ||
| He was gonna, like, change everything, have a big, giant boxing gym, and... | ||
| Never happened. | ||
| You know the story of Buster Douglas? | ||
| It's an amazing story. | ||
| His mom died. | ||
| His mom died when he was in training for the fight. | ||
| Oh really? | ||
| And all of his life he had kind of been really talented as a boxer but hadn't really completely dedicated himself to it. | ||
| So when his mom died, he went completely insane in the gym in preparation for Tyson. | ||
| And then when he came out there, it was like two people that had the exact opposite things happen to them. | ||
| For Tyson, he had just been smashing everybody for so long. | ||
| He was so good and so scary. | ||
| He would win fights before he would even start. | ||
| It would just be a matter of whether or not you were going to make it out of the first round sometimes. | ||
| He was just smashing people. | ||
| But for Buster Douglas, he had some good fights and some bad fights. | ||
| He wasn't completely consistent, but he was talented. | ||
| But then when his mom died, it was right in the time when Tyson was just overconfident. | ||
| He was a 46 to 1 underdog, I think. | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| It was marketed as Tyson is back fight. | ||
| Oh wow, I didn't know that. | ||
| Tyson is back. | ||
| I don't remember that. | ||
| What were the odds? | ||
| Because I think it was one of the craziest odds of someone who won a fight. | ||
| 42 to 1 is a lot. | ||
| That means you have to be a total sucker to bet on Buster Douglas. | ||
| But I'll take your money, stupid. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I'll give you $4,200 if you give me $100. | ||
| You know, it's like they're so confident that Tyson's going to beat him. | ||
| They're willing to bet 42 times whatever you're going to put up. | ||
| That, to me, is always... | ||
| I think bets... | ||
| I'm not telling you what to do. | ||
| But I think bets should be like... | ||
| I think, actually, I take it back. | ||
| I think you should be able to do whatever you want. | ||
| But I think the real bet should be, who do you think is going to win? | ||
| Let's make it real clear. | ||
| Who's going to win? | ||
| If you say, well, will Michael Spinks make it out of the first round? | ||
| Like, alright, now we're getting weird. | ||
| Because this is some shit you might be able to affect. | ||
| Maybe you might be able to talk to Michael Spinks. | ||
| There's a lot of money in this fight. | ||
| But there's even more if we can get to the second round. | ||
| You know what I'm saying, bro? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I think the last bet I hit like that was Amanda Nunes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| KO in the second round. | ||
| I specifically picked that. | ||
| That's very important to protect against that kind of influence. | ||
| Because that shit's real. | ||
| That shit's happened throughout sports. | ||
| If someone comes up to you and goes, look, there's a lot of money if this fight goes into the third round. | ||
| That's all we got to do. | ||
| Look, here's the odds. | ||
| 72 to 1. 72 to 1, this fight goes to the third round. | ||
| You know what that means? | ||
| You let the fight go to the third round. | ||
| We'll make a lot more money. | ||
| I heard a lot of people were a little worried about the over-under for the Holly Holm cyborg fight being only one and a half, I think, was the over-under. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Everybody thought it probably was going to go away longer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's probably a gambling thing, right? | ||
| I think it has to do with where the money sits. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| I wish we knew. | ||
| We should probably find out. | ||
| We should probably find out exactly. | ||
| We used to talk to gambling experts sometimes on the old days of the UFC on Spike. | ||
| A guy would come on and he would give us the odds. | ||
| He's like a local odds maker type guy and he and I would even disagree about shit sometimes. | ||
| God damn it, I can't remember his name. | ||
| See if you can remember that gentleman's name. | ||
| I feel terrible. | ||
| What was that Ugg boot you had on your head? | ||
| Oh, how dare you? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I don't want to mispronounce it. | ||
| Is it like a religious thing? | ||
| No, it's from his area of Dagestan. | ||
| I have it saved here, I think, because people have been asking me. | ||
| In his area of Dagestan, they wear this thing. | ||
| It says, it's what a warrior, a mountain clan, they're a warrior, mountain clan, and that this is what their shepherds wear. | ||
| And this is what you call it. | ||
| I don't want to fuck this up. | ||
| But it looks like it says... | ||
| I'm probably fucking that up. | ||
| But this is how it's pronounced. | ||
| I know how to spell it. | ||
| You look like that one guy that got arrested for murdering his wife. | ||
| What's that old guy? | ||
| What dare you? | ||
| That old guy. | ||
| Phil Spector. | ||
| Phil Spector. | ||
| Oh, no, that wasn't his wife. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| That is very funny, actually, dude. | ||
| That's strong. | ||
| That's strong. | ||
| Remember that guy who'd show up for court with these crazy wigs on? | ||
| Was it a wig or was it actually his hair? | ||
| No, it would wig. | ||
| This is... | ||
| This is how you spell it. | ||
| It's P-A-P-A-K-H-A. Papuka. | ||
| Papuka. | ||
| Oh my god, look at that hair. | ||
| Yeah, that's the same. | ||
| I don't even know if you don't pronounce a K. He actually took it to the next level. | ||
| Phil Spector. | ||
| We're looking at Phil Spector from his murder trial. | ||
| It was a horrible story. | ||
| Phil Spector stuck a gun in some chick's mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And killed her and apparently that was something that he had been known to do. | ||
| He would pull a gun, stick it in like an artist's mouth, you know? | ||
| Do you know that there's a lot of people that think that Jimi Hendrix manager killed him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and apparently there's, like, a guy who wrote a book, a guy who was a bodyguard or something or another for someone in the music business back then, claimed that that was, he wrote a book about this and claims that's what happened, that Jimi Hendrix's girlfriend at the time jumped off a building, she committed suicide, and they're like, no, they threw that girl off a building. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's like, whoa, what? | ||
| Wasn't there a documentary or a movie about it? | ||
| Was there? | ||
| I think there might have been. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| You know, you hear about a guy like Hendrix who died at 27, and you go, what? | ||
| How is that? | ||
| How is he that good? | ||
| How the hell is he that good at 27? | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Imagine if you're still alive. | ||
| It would be threatening. | ||
| I saw Guns N' Roses like a month ago and Earl got us like right in the front row. | ||
| They played a three and a half hour show. | ||
| It was weird seeing him. | ||
| Did they really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was weird seeing him perform. | ||
| I tell you that Slash still has it. | ||
| That motherfucker jams. | ||
| Three and a half hours is insane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What's a normal concert for like Aerosmith or some shit? | ||
| Maybe two hours. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| That's a long time. | ||
| Three and a half hours? | ||
| Yeah, if not four hours. | ||
| Six hours! | ||
| Can I get seven? | ||
| Can I get seven? | ||
| Well, he, um, he, like, went to the Darklands and then came back. | ||
| Like, Axl Rose is a weird guy. | ||
| Like, he vanished and then returned. | ||
| And now they're killing it. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Remember when he broke his leg and was singing on stage with a cast on, on a chair? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was weird watching him because when you're that close, it's weird seeing things that you normally wouldn't even notice. | ||
| One thing was, after every song, he would just go behind this curtain and come out with a different shirt on. | ||
| And he must have changed t-shirts maybe like 20 times in outfits. | ||
| Like he would have a scarf on this one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, that's him with a leg brace on. | ||
| Singing with a leather jacket on and a stool. | ||
| Pretty badass. | ||
| Who the fuck's ever done that before? | ||
| I know Dave Grohl did it while he was performing. | ||
| Axl loaned him his... | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| That's hilarious! | ||
| He loaned him his brace? | ||
| That's... | ||
| The throne thing. | ||
| Oh, the throne thing that he takes around with him. | ||
| How long did Axl have to sing on that thing for? | ||
| A couple months, I think. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| Dave Grohl's a badass. | ||
| Do your squats, people. | ||
| How amazing is it? | ||
| It was Dave's, and then he loaned it to Axl. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Other way around. | ||
| Well, that's both badass. | ||
| Equally badass. | ||
| Either way you do it. | ||
| Either way you pop it back and forth. | ||
| What were you saying Brian? | ||
| How badass is Dave Grohl though? | ||
| Like he was the drummer for Nirvana and then totally created the Foo Fighters right after Nirvana and it's one of the best bands ever, you know? | ||
| And he's now not even playing drums anymore. | ||
| Was he playing drums for Nirvana? | ||
| Nirvana, yeah he was the drummer for Nirvana. | ||
| And now he's saying, well you know I could do anything. | ||
| Drummer of the year and guitarist of the year. | ||
| Separate years, separate bands. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker, for sure. | ||
| I love the Foo Fighters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you met him? | |
| No, never met him. | ||
| I guess I don't think so. | ||
| I met one of the other guys in Nirvana. | ||
| Who's the other gentleman? | ||
| Pat Smear, or you got that? | ||
| The guy who flies planes. | ||
| I met him at one of them marijuana policy projects. | ||
| I think that's that gentleman. | ||
| The guy threw the guitar up and it fell and hit him in the head during the MTV movie. | ||
| Oh, that's a mistake. | ||
| Oh, fuck, man. | ||
| That's terrible. | ||
| Remember in the old days when people would smash guitars on stage? | ||
| That was like a big deal. | ||
| Trent Reznor used to do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, what the fuck is that about, man? | |
| What was that about? | ||
| What was this whole destroying musical instruments thing about? | ||
| Rock and roll, man! | ||
| We gotta break it all down! | ||
| I'm gonna smash this fucking guitar! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do it, dude! | |
| Do it, dude! | ||
| Smash! | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| You didn't have any money, and you just imagined if you could get Jimi Hendrix's guitar. | ||
| Did he smash guitars? | ||
| No. | ||
| Who do you think I got right here at the first person to do it, or at least credited with? | ||
| Let me think. | ||
| 1960s. | ||
| It's the only hint. | ||
| Jimi Hendrix burned his guitar. | ||
| Yeah, he burned it. | ||
| I'd say the first person would be like... | ||
| No, I feel like he smashed it, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I would say he smashed guitars. | ||
| Didn't he smash it, Jamie? | ||
| I don't know that he didn't. | ||
| I'll look up Hendrix just for sure, but I got the guy that, the first guy. | ||
| Who's the first guy? | ||
| Pete Townsend. | ||
| Oh, of course. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Pete Townsend did it. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I might be fucking this up. | ||
| Jimi Hendrix might not have smashed a guitar. | ||
| It might have just been Townsend. | ||
| Didn't someone in KISS, did Ace Frehley ever smash guitars? | ||
| Here's Monterey Pop Festival. | ||
| Jimmy lit it on fire and smashed it. | ||
| Oh man, he was high as fuck. | ||
| Just hitting everything. | ||
| Some weak ass slams. | ||
| You've got to work on your... | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Oh, look at that. | ||
| He broke it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He can't move in those fucking pants. | ||
| Those pants, man, they used to constrict your dick. | ||
| That's why none of these guys had kids. | ||
| Lenny Kravitz. | ||
| His pants ripped open. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's hilarious. | |
| This schlong. | ||
| Oh, I forgot about that. | ||
| Schlong of death. | ||
| Came flying. | ||
| Jimi Hendrix was, uh... | ||
| He was wearing those... | ||
| Those are jeans. | ||
| Like, jeans that tight, man. | ||
| You can't do shit in those things. | ||
| He definitely can't smash guitars correctly. | ||
| So he smashed guitars a bunch of times. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, this has to go with the feeling of the music you're getting, man. | ||
| You just get into it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Plus you're on acid, right? | ||
| Yeah, also. | ||
| He's on acid a lot during this time, wasn't he? | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| They just let him smash these things. | ||
| Here's a guitar sacrifice. | ||
| So a guy like Matt the Immortal Brown seeing Jimi Hendrix swing that guitar just needs a little coaching. | ||
| That's like a big exercise they use with maces and shit. | ||
| You know, that's like hitting tires with sledgehammers. | ||
| That's an excellent form of exercise. | ||
| Now try to find Nickelback smashing a guitar. | ||
| Not gonna happen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, come on, bro. | |
| Come on, baby. | ||
| You gotta be easy on Nickelback. | ||
| I don't think they're bad. | ||
| But I accept that you don't like it. | ||
| I just feel like as I move into 2018, I want to spend more time on things I like than things I don't like. | ||
| And more time, if there are things that I don't like, I want to be able to look at them in a more relaxed manner. | ||
| And be less engaged with it and more... | ||
| As long as you're not hurting anybody, just have fun. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| Did you read about Will Ferrell? | ||
| He did a rose parade. | ||
| He dressed up in a character with this other girl that used to be on Saturday Night Live. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| And they acted like local news people showing the parade. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And they broadcasted it live on Amazon Prime and people thought it was real. | ||
| A lot of people didn't even realize it was Will Ferrell. | ||
| And so people were angry about it because they didn't get the joke. | ||
| Oh my god, it's hilarious. | ||
| He shaved his head. | ||
| He's got prosthetic on or something? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, that is amazing. | ||
| As fictional local TV host, the duo made jokes about the parade's marching bands, flower-covered floats, and inaccurate historical uniforms. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so funny. | ||
| Yeah, I guess you can get it on Amazon Prime right now. | ||
| And I guess there's so many one stars and all the reviews are like, how dare they? | ||
| This is a tradition. | ||
| Oh my god, that's hilarious. | ||
| Who are these local news people? | ||
| That is so funny. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| Will Ferrell's fucking... | ||
| Anybody who says Will Ferrell's not funny, I can't talk to. | ||
| There's over a thousand one stars on it. | ||
| Yeah, I just can't talk to anybody who doesn't think that guy's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, I just contradicted what I said earlier. | ||
| You can like whatever you want. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Meanwhile, I'm like, except Will Ferrell. | ||
| You fuck. | ||
| For me, tile digging nights, man, when he's running around in his underwear, he's saying, Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft. | ||
| I'm on fire. | ||
| I'm crying. | ||
| You know that's based off a real thing? | ||
| Of him running out thinking he's on fire? | ||
| Because there was a famous car, like, what's that, petroleum? | ||
| Where it's like, you can't see petroleum when it's on fire, a petroleum fire. | ||
| It's clear, or it's invisible. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And so this famous race car driver. | ||
| Like gasoline. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was a fire in his car, but you couldn't see it. | ||
| So he's like, I'm on fire! | ||
| But to everyone else, it looked like he was just a crazy person. | ||
| I think this might be it. | ||
| I see, like, all these people are on fire right now, and you can't even tell. | ||
| There's a fire. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Because petroleum fire, you can't see. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, I looked this up the other day, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| So I didn't know that whole scene was pasted. | ||
| How do I not know this? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't see petroleum fire? | ||
| You can only see it at night. | ||
| Oh my god, that is insane, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So all these people are on fire, and they're running from invisible fire. | |
| Oh my god, how am I just now learning this? | ||
| You can't see petroleum fire? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Only at night. | ||
| It has to be really dark, because it's like the light blue part of it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It doesn't get any orange or anything. | ||
| That is so fucked. | ||
| But how hilarious that that was based on a real thing. | ||
| And so he has flame retardant clothes on, so that stuff doesn't catch fire. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it's just his skin that's getting it. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| How horrific. | ||
| And it got into the crowd too. | ||
| People were like, why is everyone freaking out? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Here's another Radiolab plug. | ||
| I was listening to this thing about ball lightning. | ||
| See here, right now, he'll catch it on fire and see how much fire it is. | ||
| Oh my god, it's just blue. | ||
| So if that's your nose? | ||
| See, like right there. | ||
| That's on fire, right there. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's insane, dude. | ||
| Oh my god, he just dropped something in it and it instantly caught fire. | ||
| That's why petroleum fires are dangerous for firemen and stuff like that because you can't see. | ||
| How do I not know that? | ||
| I can't believe I woke up today on January 2nd 2018 I learned that for the first time. | ||
| I should have known that. | ||
| Not woke. | ||
| Not woke! | ||
| That's hashtag not woke. | ||
| But you're hashtag blessed. | ||
| Hashtag blessed. | ||
| But not hashtag woke today. | ||
| I didn't know about petroleum fires. | ||
| It's crazy that you could just buy a lighter, you know? | ||
| You want to talk about, like, what's the possibility of people being fucked up? | ||
| Way less than you think. | ||
| Because, like, lighters are everywhere. | ||
| And there's relatively few fires in comparison to the number of lighters. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, everybody's got a fucking lighter. | ||
| Everybody we know has a lighter. | ||
| When was the last time someone we know lit some shit on fire? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| It is weird. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| It's weird like the real weirdness about driving cars is how few accidents there are. | ||
| That's the real weirdness. | ||
| Of course there's gonna be some and more so with these fucking assholes on their phones. | ||
| Goddamn! | ||
| I've been seeing some drifters. | ||
| Some people drifting lanes and texting while they're driving. | ||
| Holy shit, that's common. | ||
| But take that away and it's remarkable how rarely we slam into each other. | ||
| It's remarkable. | ||
| You can go years without a car accident if you're careful. | ||
| Years and years and years. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| Especially in this city. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's remarkable. | ||
| But, you know, they happen. | ||
| They definitely happen. | ||
| There's no way right now they can tell exactly what you are doing. | ||
| They just know what happened. | ||
| But if there's a way that they can put one of those... | ||
| You know how they have... | ||
| Don't they have OnStar now in a lot of cars? | ||
| You buy them from the factory. | ||
| They have that OnStar thing where you could actually have calls, make phone calls with whatever it is on the other line. | ||
| You could say, hey, can you book me a reservation at a restaurant? | ||
| They're also monitoring, like, how fast your car is going. | ||
| They're monitoring, like, certain metrics, you know, certain things they can figure out, like, what happened when you were causing an accident. | ||
| Where'd you go? | ||
| Where'd you drive to? | ||
| Like, if they could track you on GPS. And at a certain point in time, they're going to be like, why can't we just film them? | ||
| We're just gonna film you all the time inside your car and like if you want to drive a Cadillac don't have any fucking orgies in it because Because we have to film you because otherwise we're never gonna know what the fuck you did to cause this car accident We don't want to get sued Oldsmobile is that Oldsmobile has the camera So like if you're doing the lane departure setting, it detects if you're not paying attention So then by tracking your face. | ||
| So there's a camera in I think it's Oldsmobile's now. | ||
| Wow Well, that's sort of like the iPhone X or X, right? | ||
| It sees your face. | ||
| It recognizes your face to open up your password. | ||
| And it works pretty fucking good. | ||
| It's not perfect, but it's like, ooh, it's a lot better than I thought it was going to be. | ||
| A lot smoother. | ||
| I got this phone when I couldn't find my glasses, and I found them the other day, and I have a beard now, and I had a stocking hat on. | ||
| It still unlocks it. | ||
| It's like, how the hell does it go through all those things? | ||
| What would change if someone gained or lost weight? | ||
| Would anything change? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think it detects how far your eyes are apart and things like that. | ||
| What's weird is I have an Amazon Echo next to my bed now because it's like the best alarm clock ever. | ||
| It's one of those things where you go, like, Alexa, you know? | ||
| But it has a camera on it. | ||
| Yeah, it's watching you for sure. | ||
| Alexa's watching your whole life. | ||
| I'm like, keep an eye on me, Alexa. | ||
| Yeah, every time you beat off Alexa makes a check mark right next to you. | ||
| It is weird, though. | ||
| Like, we'll be just sleeping in the middle of the night, and Alexa will just be like, I can't understand what you're talking about. | ||
| And you're like, what? | ||
| I didn't say anything. | ||
| Alexa will just start coming to life. | ||
| She's starting to wake up. | ||
| She's becoming more woke than me. | ||
| The best is if you go, Alexa, rap. | ||
| And it does this rap. | ||
| It's a great rap. | ||
| And it's a good rap. | ||
| Yeah, we were talking before the podcast that there was a... | ||
| It's a good rap. | ||
| We were talking before the podcast, there was something about Apple buying Netflix. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| How do you feel about a company that gets that big? | ||
| How do you feel about any company that just buys up everything? | ||
| Disney? | ||
| Disney? | ||
| Disney bought up Star Wars. | ||
| What else did they buy up? | ||
| Didn't they just buy the other movie studio that owns the Avengers or whatever? | ||
| Pixar? | ||
| Paramount? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They had a lot of money. | ||
| $52 billion to buy 21st Century Fox. | ||
| So now the Marvel Universe is complete, I think, now? | ||
| Is it bad? | ||
| Is it bad to have giant companies? | ||
| Some people would say yes, right? | ||
| But what about a giant company like Google seems to be a pretty goddamn good company. | ||
| Like as far as like the way they treat people. | ||
| It's supposed to be like pretty good. | ||
| Other than that James Damore memo thing, the thing that went out. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| That whole where the guy was talking about why there aren't women in tech and what would encourage him. | ||
| A lot of people said he was sexist and it got crazy. | ||
| I was like, then I had to read it like a couple of times ago. | ||
| It's like one or two things that might be misconstrued as being sexist because of the term neuroticism. | ||
| And I think he believes, I believe he uses the term neurotic, but really super duper controversial fucking thing. | ||
| And although I don't agree with it, Google firing the guy, I kind of get it. | ||
| I get where they are just to kind of calm everyone's nerves. | ||
| I don't agree with that at all. | ||
| But I understand why they as a corporation would think that way. | ||
| But for the most part, I like what they're doing. | ||
| They're buying up all these robotics and These different corporations that are creating... | ||
| Didn't Google buy up Boston Dynamics? | ||
| I think they already sold it, though. | ||
| Yeah, they sold it. | ||
| They bought it and then sold it? | ||
| They stole all the secrets. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| I wonder if that's what they did. | ||
| You don't hear about the sale when they get rid of something like that. | ||
| You don't hear about the purchase or acquisition. | ||
| Yeah, you sell it, and then you make sure that you don't sign some sort of a non-compete clause. | ||
| They could have also done it to buy a purse. | ||
| There might have been someone working there they wanted to have on their team, and so they just, uh, we'll buy your whole company. | ||
| Now you work for us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| That's... | ||
| Fucking Game of Thrones type shit with silicone. | ||
| Disney was smart to buy Hulu because they just pulled all their stuff off Netflix. | ||
| All Disney, I think. | ||
| All Disney off Netflix. | ||
| So now they're just gonna put it all on Hulu, which is awesome because I love Hulu. | ||
| But here's the question. | ||
| Is it possible to be as big as Google and not be scary? | ||
| When something gets so big that it controls so much, people tend to just immediately get wary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, whoa, this is the whole market. | |
| If there's only one way you can get the internet, if Verizon was the only internet provider on planet Earth, that's it. | ||
| We'd be like, hey, just you? | ||
| Just you. | ||
| Because it's too big, right? | ||
| It controls too much. | ||
| It's like, what's the level we're comfortable with? | ||
| You're comfortable with Apple? | ||
| It depends on the company also, I think. | ||
| I think a lot of people trust Google. | ||
| Apple put the nets over the buildings when the people were jumping. | ||
| They did the right thing. | ||
| Did you see the thing with the batteries they did? | ||
| The response after they got sued? | ||
| That battery thing is crazy. | ||
| We gotta talk about that. | ||
| How many years ago did we start talking about? | ||
| You called it in like whatever the first year of the fucking new iPhone was. | ||
| When they had a new iPhone and then the new new iPhone. | ||
| As soon as the new new iPhone came out, you were like, I know what these motherfuckers are doing. | ||
| Yeah, but I get their excuse. | ||
| It might have been like two iPhones in. | ||
| I want to be honest about this. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| But I remember there was a time that you called it first, way before everybody else. | ||
| I was like, Brian's all paranoid about technology. | ||
| I understand their excuse, though. | ||
| I get what they're saying. | ||
| I mean, if the batteries are going to start failing because it can't... | ||
| You know the power is all fucked up in a battery. | ||
| But to deny that they know that the throttling down of performance of the phone is not going to influence people into deciding to buy a new phone is ridiculous. | ||
| You're literally disabling the phone. | ||
| And you're not doing your customer service base... | ||
| You're not doing them a service. | ||
| Because if you really cared about them getting the best stuff all the time, what you would do is you would say... | ||
| Hey, these batteries are going to get older. | ||
| If you want to continue your phones, here's a new battery at a reasonable rate. | ||
| Otherwise, we have to throttle down the performance of your phone so that you can get a day's use out of it. | ||
| But that can be avoided by simply swapping out the battery. | ||
| So this is what happens when your phone gets to be a year old. | ||
| But that's sort of disingenuous, right? | ||
| And the batteries were so expensive. | ||
| Now I think they got them down to $29. | ||
| But that's just in response to getting in this situation. | ||
| I think they make amazing shit. | ||
| This iPhone X, whatever the fuck they want to call it, it's amazing. | ||
| It's crazy that there's a company that makes something like that. | ||
| They're going to make some mistakes. | ||
| I don't know who approved that mistake, but that's a mistake. | ||
| They shouldn't have done that. | ||
| The stuff they make is... | ||
| Someone's got to do that. | ||
| It's not going to be like the Brian and Joe Corporation. | ||
| I mean, you need something with massive resources and a shit-fucked ton of people to be able to put together the cash to make an iPhone X. I mean, you've got to hire a lot of fucking people to make this thing right. | ||
| You gotta hire wizards and sorcerers and goddamn silicone geniuses and people who know how to get lithium-ion batteries thinner than your fucking fingernail in these things. | ||
| Not thinner than your fingernail, right? | ||
| Thinner than a finger. | ||
| What's, like, how thick is a... | ||
| Well, it can't be that thick. | ||
| This shit has a case on it. | ||
| Like, how thin is a battery in a cell phone? | ||
| It's pretty thin. | ||
| Like paper chip. | ||
| Or a potato chip, rather. | ||
| Like a flat potato? | ||
| If you ever could flatten out a potato chip? | ||
| It's a little thicker than that, actually. | ||
| What's crazy, though, is that the phone before this, iPhone 7 Plus S, whatever the fuck it was, when I downloaded the new operating system on it, it was crashy, it was buggy, it fucked up all the time. | ||
| But then when I got the iPhone X, the same operating system, it worked way better. | ||
| So that's not anything to do with the battery. | ||
| That's just because they built an operating system around this processor, and this screen, and all the components on this, and then they're emulating it for all the other phones, or whatever they're doing. | ||
| It's almost like the only way to be truly awesome at something is just to be greedy, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's like, we've got to fuel this motherfucker, okay? | ||
| This is projected sales, and we can get that up at about 20%, and this is how we're going to do it. | ||
| They had dark secret meetings where they just had candles, went into the fucking basement, and they were going to slow down the old phones. | ||
| No! | ||
| Don't do it, Mark! | ||
| Working for technology. | ||
| We've always worked for technology. | ||
| We can't slow down the fucking phones, man. | ||
| We're gonna slow them down. | ||
| We're gonna slow them down, sell them the new shit. | ||
| They don't need the new shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's about information more than it's about new apps. | |
| You been watching Black Mirror? | ||
| I only watched three episodes, but I love it. | ||
| You haven't watched a new season? | ||
| I've watched, I think, one episode of the new season, which was the video game episode, but the guy was in the lifelike video game that was remarkably similar to Ari Shafir's Salvia Divinorum trip. | ||
| Oh, there's no new season as of like two days ago. | ||
| There's another new season? | ||
| Oh, two days ago. | ||
| Oh, Christ, I can't. | ||
| I don't have the time for this, but the last one I watched was the video game one. | ||
| I'm hooked on the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt right now on Netflix. | ||
| Have you watched it? | ||
| Dude, that is a funny, silly show. | ||
| Oh yeah, I have seen that. | ||
| Yeah, the lady, she was trapped in a bunker for 15 years in a religious cult and she gets out and she's living in New York City and she doesn't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| It's really funny, man. | ||
| There's a couple episodes where it kind of falls apart, but then it bounces back strong. | ||
| It's very funny again now. | ||
| It's a really good show. | ||
| I'm on like episode... | ||
| I want to say eight. | ||
| I think I'm on episode eight. | ||
| Black Mirror is getting in some trouble because I guess Carl Pinkerton. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Supposedly, two different episodes, he talks about something that they stole in Black Mirror, which is weird. | ||
| It was in the news today. | ||
| Well, I don't know what the specifics are, so I don't want to comment. | ||
| But there's a lot of things that... | ||
| Black Mirror did a subject that I talked about, too, but it was just because a lot of people were talking about potential future technologies like this video game thing where they put something in the back of your head, like the Matrix, and plug you into some artificial experience that's indistinguishable. | ||
| I've talked about that a hundred times, just from being high and thinking about what are they going to be able to do next that's crazier than Duncan Trussell when he had that HTC Vive. | ||
| You put that thing on. | ||
| Did you put that thing on? | ||
| I have one. | ||
| Oh, you have one. | ||
| Duncan had me over his podcast and I put it on for like an hour and a half before I did it. | ||
| You do that and you go, okay, well, what's next? | ||
| So I don't know if Carl just was able to figure out what's next. | ||
| Are they saying this plagiarism? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do you have the article, Jimmy? | ||
| It seems pretty specific, where it's not like, hey, he's talking about simulation theory. | ||
| It's more like, oh, he actually had this idea. | ||
| I forget what it is. | ||
| I saw it this morning. | ||
| Sometimes, though, it is parallel thinking. | ||
| So it's just in the interest of... | ||
| This spoiler alert's in there. | ||
| I don't even want to read. | ||
| Okay, watch Carl Pinken predict new Black Mirror plots years ahead of time. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| We can't bring these out. | ||
| So, who wrote the article? | ||
| What's it on? | ||
| Gizmodo. | ||
| Gizmodo. | ||
| I love that site. | ||
| Very good site. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| Very good site. | ||
| They're real news. | ||
| Do you have like five websites that you just shuffle back and forth? | ||
| Gizmodo's one, Engadget's one, Kotaku's one. | ||
| New Scientist's one. | ||
| New Scientist. | ||
| People get mad, but you tell them I like to read the New York Times. | ||
| New York Times? | ||
| People get mad. | ||
| You like reading fake news? | ||
| It's the fucking New York Times, okay? | ||
| You cannot just immediately dismiss the fucking New York Times. | ||
| You cannot. | ||
| With any mistakes that anybody has made ever, you cannot fucking dismiss the New York Times. | ||
| How... | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| They're a giant part of what made people at this level, in terms of our understanding of world events, a giant part leading to 2017. If you look at the history of human beings, understanding the reality of a detailed intellectual Understanding of the reality of certain current world events compiled in a daily resource. | ||
| The New York Times changed the world. | ||
| It offered people super high-level information from uber-smart people on a regular basis. | ||
| And to dismiss that and say that that's just as good as any other paper, no, no, no, it's a pursuit. | ||
| They were in a pursuit for excellence In information. | ||
| Now, whether or not they made some mistakes, I criticized them for that Conor McGregor weird thing that they said his face was covered in blood and he was... | ||
| And they fixed it immediately. | ||
| Yeah, they said he almost fell through the ropes before the referee rescued him. | ||
| I'm like, no, they didn't. | ||
| He got his ass kicked. | ||
| You don't have to make anything up. | ||
| What happened was amazing. | ||
| You don't have to embellish it just to make your magazine. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| You're the New York Times, especially in this day and age. | ||
| You've got to resist. | ||
| You've got to be on rubber. | ||
| You're glue. | ||
| You can't even respond. | ||
| You can't put out anything fake. | ||
| You just can't. | ||
| But people that go, oh, the New York Times is fake news. | ||
| They've been around for so long! | ||
| Do you know how much important shit they put out? | ||
| You're going to just dismiss them because you love Trump. | ||
| You're really willing to do that? | ||
| That's as crazy as anything I've ever heard. | ||
| You can't do that either. | ||
| They can't be exonerated. | ||
| They can be exonerated, but they can't be exempt from not being called out by printing something that's not true. | ||
| Everyone should be held up to the same standards. | ||
| But if you don't appreciate what the New York Times has done, that seems crazy to me. | ||
| They're really important. | ||
| Did you see all the Trump, like, global warming tweets? | ||
| Like, he doesn't really understand global warming. | ||
| He's trolling, bro. | ||
| Scientists, wake up! | ||
| It's freezing right now. | ||
| Global warming's not real. | ||
| He's 70 and he's trolling. | ||
| Yeah, that's weird, right? | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I wish the whole thing was a troll. | ||
| That'd be so fucking good. | ||
| No, he's trolling about that, though. | ||
| You know, he just doesn't want anybody fucking with him. | ||
| And he feels like a lot of the mainstream media, they fuck with him. | ||
| And so he fires back. | ||
| And then it becomes this weird thing where all the people that are on his side started, like, you know, people pick sides, man. | ||
| And they're like, fake news, fake news. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| No, it's the New York Times. | ||
| It's one of the best news sources ever. | ||
| Have they said shit that's not true? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| They're run by people. | ||
| People fuck up. | ||
| Everywhere. | ||
| There's not a place where they go where they don't fuck up. | ||
| Every fucking place a person goes, they fuck up. | ||
| They fuck up in Harvard. | ||
| They fuck up in MIT. They just fuck up way less than most of us. | ||
| They're still just people. | ||
| It's a weird time right now. | ||
| It's a weird time right now as far as the way people are looking at things. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Everything seems very exaggerated. | ||
| Like we're preparing for something. | ||
| Like we're a screaming baby. | ||
| War. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| North Korea. | ||
| But here's the other thing. | ||
| North Korea just made a speech recently where they were actually open to high-level talks and it was way more passive and less threatening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And people like this crazy motherfucker might realize Trump is a crazy motherfucker, too, who actually runs the U.S. And unlike Obama, who would probably never consider attacking North Korea, he's looking at Trump. | ||
| He's like, this dude is 70. Okay? | ||
| He's old as fuck, he's been a gangster his whole life, and now he just took over the country. | ||
| And he let the military guys do whatever the fuck they want to do. | ||
| You don't think there's a high possibility that some of those spaceships from Nevada might come out of a hole in the ground and go rocketing towards North Korea in 20 minutes and let loose some crazy new bombs that you haven't even heard of yet? | ||
| That's entirely possible. | ||
| He knows it. | ||
| I don't like to think there's any benefit to our current situation. | ||
| Well, we also just cut off all their, was it gas? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, there's some serious sanctions. | ||
| So that might be wise. | ||
| Well, let's talk about it, guys. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| That's actually probably more logical. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I'm doing more the comic book thing. | ||
| It's like people don't want to piss Trump off. | ||
| It's interesting, you know? | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| He's definitely nuttier than the regular dude. | ||
| He's definitely nuttier than the regular dude that's in the job. | ||
| I thought we were getting attacked the other day when that SpaceX launch happened. | ||
| Did you really think so? | ||
| Well, everyone at Starbucks starts running out. | ||
| I was like, oh my god, what's going on? | ||
| Is there a bomb? | ||
| I was kind of freaked out. | ||
| Then everyone's staring at the sky, so I run out. | ||
| First, I thought it was an alien because that pulsating smoke that was happening on the side. | ||
| Like, I had never seen anything like that before. | ||
| It was like, wait, my eyes have never seen that before. | ||
| Because it was like, it looked like a big whale. | ||
| Then there was like a dot in the middle of it that was pulsating, like smoke rings almost. | ||
| And it just looked foreign. | ||
| It looked like an alien. | ||
| But then everyone's like, is that Korea? | ||
| And I'm like, I didn't even think about North Korea. | ||
| Ooh! | ||
| Is that headed downtown? | ||
| I saw one of those once on Melrose. | ||
| It was a launch out of Edwards Air Force Base. | ||
| They launched something, like some missile test. | ||
| I was like, whoa, you saw this thing shooting across the sky. | ||
| People are pulling their cars over. | ||
| This is a long time ago. | ||
| And they did it like right at dusk, right as the sun was setting. | ||
| I think they thought they could get away with it. | ||
| They could sneak it in there before we could see it. | ||
| It's it's weird that they do that like there was a lot of car accidents when that happened because Everyone thought what the fuck were we getting attacked? | ||
| It's weird that they don't like you know how your phone goes off if Pablo gets kidnapped by his stepdad, you know you have that But they won't say hey, there's gonna be a big rocket launch. | ||
| What are you showing us Jamie? | ||
| What is this time-lapse of the one from last week? | ||
| That is crazy Oh my god. | ||
| Oh my god, that is crazy. | ||
| And it's going around the earth and off into the fucking space. | ||
| They're shooting off three on Friday night, so just here's your warning so you don't freak out. | ||
| Oh, we're gonna be in the store. | ||
| When is the one where he shoots a Tesla to Mars? | ||
| When's he doing that? | ||
| It's coming up soon. | ||
| That motherfucker is crazy. | ||
| I think that's what the thing on Friday is. | ||
| It got pushed to Friday from Thursday, and it's setting up the big launch, which I think is that. | ||
| Has there ever been a guy that's more like Tony Stark than Elon Musk? | ||
| Never! | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| Do you think he's sending his car away so he can go get it? | ||
| Like he's going to be the first one to go? | ||
| I'm fucking out of here. | ||
| Taking my car with me. | ||
| I won't let him go. | ||
| You gotta stay. | ||
| Do we need you down here? | ||
| You might not make it back. | ||
| What if your calculations are off? | ||
| What if your calculations are off like, you know, sometimes people are saying they get up to the Tesla and the door handle doesn't open up automatically and then you don't even have a door handle? | ||
| Like, okay. | ||
| What if that happens when you're up there, bro? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Huh? | ||
| We never had a super genius That everybody wants to just hand the keys to before. | ||
| What if he is the Bitcoin guy, too, that some people think... | ||
| Some people think he created Bitcoin, yeah. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| I have to ask Mr. Antonopoulos if he agrees with that. | ||
| I don't believe that. | ||
| Why don't you? | ||
| Because that would be too crazy. | ||
| He's already too crazy. | ||
| What if he's an alien? | ||
| What if he's the future? | ||
| He's dating Johnny Depp's ex. | ||
| He can't be too crazy. | ||
| He broke up with it, bro. | ||
| Oh, he did. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| He brought it to the comedy store one night. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Dude, I gotta think... | ||
| That there's levels to everything. | ||
| And there might be even levels in the super genius category. | ||
| And he's in some weird, new, crazy, ultra-productive level of the super genius category. | ||
| Dude, he powered... | ||
| What part of New Zealand was it or something like that? | ||
| Was it Australia? | ||
| It was Australia. | ||
| He made some sort of a bet where he would install some mega battery complex in Australia. | ||
| Am I remembering this right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it worked perfectly in record time. | ||
| See, Tesla built a giant battery to fight power outages in Australia, and it's already working. | ||
| And it worked in, like, milliseconds. | ||
| Like, the power went down and it kicked on in milliseconds. | ||
| Only lasts three years before it starts slowing down. | ||
| 0.14 seconds. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| After a major plant The Luoyang station in the neighboring state of Victoria suffered a sudden drop in output. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| It kicked in just 0.14 seconds after the thing went out. | ||
| The thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The thing. | |
| Yeah, man, he's a wizard. | ||
| He's some sort of new type of cultural figure. | ||
| Like the electronic daddy. | ||
| He's the guy who's making cars, he's gonna build autonomous What are those, uh, transporter trucks? | ||
| Gigantic semi-trucks? | ||
| The boring company. | ||
| Yeah, the boring company. | ||
| He's gonna fix traffic. | ||
| He just keeps going. | ||
| Why doesn't he tackle things like cancer, herpes? | ||
| Figure it out on your own, bitch. | ||
| I'm busy making electric cars. | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| Why don't you fix it? | ||
| I'm doing this. | ||
| I made a car. | ||
| I made a car. | ||
| I'm shooting one of my cars to Mars. | ||
| Wanna come? | ||
| Wanna watch? | ||
| I think he's gotta have two or three friends that are also like, what do you guys wanna do this month? | ||
| What are we gonna fix or fuck with? | ||
| He's too smart to have friends. | ||
| He's got a couple people that he observes. | ||
| He's gotta have a buddy he bounces some shit off of. | ||
| Guy's an alien. | ||
| Don't you think the buddy would go, just talk to Johnny Depp? | ||
| I'd be like, listen, she seems amazing. | ||
| She's probably telling the truth. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know who's right, who's wrong. | ||
| I want you to be happy, bro. | ||
| I don't want craziness in your life. | ||
| She just got off of doing coke and jumping out of windows. | ||
| He's in Paris freaking out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do I do? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think... | ||
| There's levels to the super genius game, and he's some new level. | ||
| He's like some new Mike Tyson punch-out character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, whoa! | |
| Like, this is the new super genius inventor level. | ||
| But that's also a super famous person. | ||
| Like, everybody knows who Elon Musk is. | ||
| He's almost like a character. | ||
| Like, if you wanted proof... | ||
| That there's some sort of a really super complex, captivating narrative about being a person in 2018. He's a central character. | ||
| Was he smart his whole life? | ||
| Like, was he creating things in like middle school and high school? | ||
| Or did one day out of nowhere this guy comes and goes, Oh, I invented this whole stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm smart. | |
| That's a good question. | ||
| Maybe it's all a rouge. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| It's really just Foxconn. | ||
| What if he's the first robot? | ||
| What if they sent him? | ||
| We get him to run for president. | ||
| He wins. | ||
| And then on TV, cuts open his arm, and he shows you circuitry. | ||
| It's like, robots need love, too. | ||
| I helped you guys. | ||
| I fixed your whole fucking world. | ||
| That's the way. | ||
| He made a computer game when he was 12. Yeah, but which one? | ||
| E.T.? Or Atari? | ||
| Doom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Doom. | |
| Oh, Doom VR, have you played that yet? | ||
| It's very disturbing to know there's people that are that much smarter than you, right? | ||
| You go, well, okay. | ||
| But here's the thing, like, people are better than you at shit. | ||
| You gotta get over that. | ||
| There's just no way around it. | ||
| You know, imagine if you're like Elon Musk's older brother. | ||
| And you, you know, you're like, bro, you don't know shit. | ||
| You're only seven. | ||
| He's like, okay. | ||
| And it just brews up inside of him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Grows. | |
| Grows in power. | ||
| Then what do you do? | ||
| Even if you're happy, even if you have a great life, like even if you're like, you know, what do I do? | ||
| Oh, I make log furniture, you know, like for outside, for the patio. | ||
| I mean, some of people's fondest moments. | ||
| You're sitting out on the back patio, and it seems kind of old-fashioned to me. | ||
| And one of the old-fashioned things that I like is log furniture. | ||
| So I build log, outside, patio furniture. | ||
| My name's Michael. | ||
| Michael Musk? | ||
| Yeah, I'm super happy. | ||
| Couldn't be happier. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, he's my brother. | ||
| Yeah, Elon, let me tell you something. | ||
| Elon's on speed, okay? | ||
| Elon's on Adderall and ProVigil and NuVigil and he's taking micro doses. | ||
| He micro doses. | ||
| He's not clean. | ||
| Test him. | ||
| He's got a brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| Kimball Musk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Kimball's probably the real Elon Musk. | ||
| He's a super genius that exists in the lotus position and floats in midair in some wheat silo somewhere in New Hampshire and they go visit him a couple of times a month. | ||
| I wouldn't mind. | ||
| I would be like, give me a free Tesla every couple days. | ||
| They probably got that dude in the bunker with Dick Cheney right now. | ||
| Kimball Musk. | ||
| Yeah, I want to know what Kimball does. | ||
| He teaches Kung Fu. | ||
| He's in those videos that I always post on Instagram. | ||
| Imagine if his brother was just a nut. | ||
| Oh, look at him. | ||
| Handsome bastard. | ||
| Drinking coffee. | ||
| Oh my. | ||
| Age 45. Regional manager for Blockbuster Video. | ||
| Oh, he's from South Africa. | ||
| Even crazier. | ||
| So Elon's from South Africa. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They co-started a company called Zip2 and sold it to Compaq and that's where he started. | ||
| South Africa is a interesting place. | ||
| Very, very interesting place. | ||
| A lot of people I know that go there love it. | ||
| And obviously the crazy history with Nelson Mandela and apartheid and how recent that was to us. | ||
| But I always think of that Sugar Man movie when I think of South Africa now. | ||
| I always think of District 9. Doesn't it look like District 9 there? | ||
| The movie with the robots? | ||
| District 9 was the movie with the aliens. | ||
| They were aliens. | ||
| No, they weren't robots, right? | ||
| They were like weird aliens. | ||
| What were they? | ||
| I think... | ||
| Some sort of thing of both, honestly. | ||
| It was like some sort of tech alien. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Can you show it again? | ||
| That was a great fucking movie. | ||
| I love that movie. | ||
| It's one of my favorites. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Yeah, they were like some sort of mecca news. | ||
| Yeah, that's right, man. | ||
| Fuck, that was a good movie. | ||
| I need to re-watch it. | ||
| I think it was shot in South Africa. | ||
| I think that's where he's from. | ||
| The guy that made it Neil Blomkamp. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What was the movie I said that it made me remind me of? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh... | |
| What did I just say? | ||
| I heard it, but it's not registered. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Dee Antwerd is always a big connection. | ||
| I always think about them. | ||
| But I was saying, it was Nelson Mandela and there was something else that made me think about South Africa. | ||
| I'll come back to it. | ||
| Oh, that Alicia movie. | ||
| That was the Matt Damon movie. | ||
| Was that in South Africa? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's sort of a similar topic as District 9. It's crazy that a guy like Elon Musk, some super duper fucking genius, would come out of that spot. | ||
| What's that place like? | ||
| We should do a JRE in South Africa. | ||
| Do a live JRE. Swim with the Great Whites. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck that. | |
| That's true, right? | ||
| That's the scary spot. | ||
| Like, I hear when you fly over them in your plane, they jump up and try to bite the plane. | ||
| Think of that spot, man. | ||
| You want to talk about spots? | ||
| South Africa. | ||
| Like, Dutch colonists. | ||
| Trying to like carve out a place in the land in Africa. | ||
| What do you got me here? | ||
| The wild boys in South Africa. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Got in a zebra suit and went out and let lions fuck with them. | ||
| Great idea. | ||
| We had Steve-o on the Kill Tony last night for the weigh-ins. | ||
| Is this in a game preserve though? | ||
| I remember them actually telling this story on here. | ||
| I think they shot the lion part here in LA. The reason why I ask is they have places in South Africa where they let the lions loose or not. | ||
| Like, they know when to let them loose. | ||
| Like, it's kind of... | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| The lions actually tried to get them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| They did the dumbest stuff. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| The lions took away their hat? | ||
| This is zebra head. | ||
| Dude, that is so crazy. | ||
| They're lucky they lived. | ||
| They did the dumbest stuff on that show. | ||
| Yeah, that really was. | ||
| He's had more than one experiences with lions then, because I thought the one that he had in the tree was the only one he ever had. | ||
| Is that Steve-O right there? | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| I had drinks with him, Everlast, Eddie Bravo, one of Eddie's students, and Steve-O's girlfriend were all hanging around. | ||
| And Steve-O was telling me all these different things that he's about to do. | ||
| And I was like, why? | ||
| I'm like, why are you doing that? | ||
| And he was showing me the scars that he had on his arm from the operations where he had to... | ||
| What's going on here? | ||
| He's got a hook. | ||
| He's bait for sharks. | ||
| He put a hook through his lip. | ||
| And then jumped out in the water with sharks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| No cage. | ||
| Just jumped in the water with a hook in his mouth. | ||
| His latest one where he got burnt in his back and everything. | ||
| Disgusting. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. | ||
| He had a bunch of different skin grafts from cadavers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so crazy. | |
| He looks good now, though. | ||
| Saw him last night. | ||
| He does. | ||
| He's showing, but he's planning on more chaos. | ||
| He's not, like, you always gotta go, oh, you're done. | ||
| You're fine. | ||
| You can walk. | ||
| Everything's fine. | ||
| Let's just end this. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| He's like Evel Knievel. | ||
| That guy never stopped, right? | ||
| I think he's way less busted up than Evel Knievel. | ||
| Evel Knievel lived in the days where, you know, the medicine was not as good. | ||
| But he also was flying motorcycles and shit. | ||
| Way different. | ||
| Wait, Evel Knievel was jumping rockets across canyons. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Snake River Canyon? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| Where was that? | ||
| In Arizona or some shit? | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| He had a rocket, he shot it across a canyon? | ||
| Those guys that climb those skyscrapers and stuff, did you see the guy that fell? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I did. | |
| That was a creepy video to watch. | ||
| Horrifying video to watch. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| Horrifying. | ||
| Yeah, that's encouraging that is not wise, but discouraging it I've seen a lot of those videos, right? | ||
| I've watched a lot of them. | ||
| I had, uh... | ||
| What is his name? | ||
| The guy that's... | ||
| That we had on the show? | ||
| Super Strong Fingers. | ||
| James Kingston? | ||
| James Kingston, who's a very nice guy, who has done a lot of things online that have freaked me the fuck out. | ||
| He was a really nice guy. | ||
| I don't want to tell that guy he can't do something that I enjoyed watching that he succeeded in doing. | ||
| I don't want him to land on me either. | ||
| You know, it's like, I mean, how much time and effort have you done into cleaning up the bottom area where you might fall? | ||
| Because you're gonna fall, if you fall, okay, I'm not saying you're gonna fall, but if you fall, you might fall on somebody. | ||
| Okay, this is different. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| This is not good for me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't even watch this thing. | |
| Jamie, don't put this on TV. We gotta get down. | ||
| We gotta get down from here. | ||
| We gotta get down. | ||
| We gotta get down slow. | ||
| No, stop. | ||
| Don't walk on the top. | ||
| Don't talk about it. | ||
| We got away with it. | ||
| We got away with it. | ||
| Just thinking about it. | ||
| Just in the interest of full disclosure, we got way too high before this show. | ||
| Legal weed, that's why. | ||
| You know what it is? | ||
| Also, that fucking... | ||
| The weed that we used to have before Sober October and the weed after Sober October is different. | ||
| It's different stuff. | ||
| And I think the combination of those two things, the combination of taking a month off and then trying some new different stuff, there's different stuff. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| Yeah, but your tolerance also restarted. | ||
| Yeah, it's not good right now. | ||
| Sketchy. | ||
| You gotta be careful. | ||
| I gotta gingerly, gingerly walk into the waters. | ||
| One month, it cleanses you. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It cleanses you. | ||
| It's amazing how fast it cleanses, like, three days. | ||
| If I haven't smoked in three days and I smoke a joint, I'm, like, so stoned, like, out of my gourd. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I still can't remember what I wanted to say about South Africa. | ||
| I knew it had something to do with apartheid and the struggle in that area and how strange it is. | ||
| African in itself. | ||
| Chappie? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Someone said Chappie. | ||
| Chappie? | ||
| Oh, that was another movie? | ||
| That was the D'Antward one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That wasn't as good. | ||
| D'Antward came out strong. | ||
| They're interesting. | ||
| That Yolani, how do you say her? | ||
| Yolanda. | ||
| Yolani. | ||
| Yolani? | ||
| Yolandi Fuster. | ||
| How do you say her name? | ||
| Yolani. | ||
| How do you say it? | ||
| I think it's Yolani. | ||
| Yolana. | ||
| Yolandi. | ||
| Yolandi Visser. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yolandi Visser. | ||
| She reminds me of, like, Bingo. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What movie was that? | ||
| Chappie. | ||
| Do you know that they... | ||
| They were the main characters of the movie, but they said something about the director or the studio. | ||
| They got in a fight, so they took them off the poster and everything. | ||
| That's why they're not on any of the posters, even though they're main characters. | ||
| Oh, that's unfortunate. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| See, that's why people like Deant, they're a little too raw. | ||
| They need like a slick talking manager. | ||
| Listen, we're dealing with artists here. | ||
| Ultimately, they don't really mean what they say. | ||
| It's just the same explosive nature that lives inside them that lets them create such amazing music that you're a fan of and I'm a fan of. | ||
| Sometimes it gets haywire. | ||
| And he would just like to come in and apologize for bitch slapping you and telling you to suck his dick. | ||
| It was all wrong. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, they didn't even market it that D ant word was in it. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, that seems like a mistake. | ||
| It seems like you don't like money. | ||
| But who knows? | ||
| Who knows what they're really like? | ||
| You know, that would be the big bummer, right? | ||
| You meet them in their dicks. | ||
| Me and Duncan hung out with them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| They smelled like armpits. | ||
| Whose armpits, though? | ||
| Some people's armpits smell lovely. | ||
| It's like that one year you took deodorant off. | ||
| It wasn't a whole year. | ||
| It was like a week. | ||
| It just seemed like a year. | ||
| It was like Ari's DMT trip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I remember with the E3 and you were just making waves of smell. | |
| Yeah, you can't do it. | ||
| You just can't not wear deodorant. | ||
| I tried for a little while. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Isn't it interesting, too, that we've all just accepted that we have to put chemicals on certain parts of our body in order not to smell after you've been moving around for too long? | ||
| That's weird, man. | ||
| Like, have you ever shaved your armpits? | ||
| Wants by mistake. | ||
| Bad idea. | ||
| I wonder how much of an effect, it must have some effect on what your armpits smell like. | ||
| Has to. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| But you can't do it. | ||
| Unless you're a bodybuilder. | ||
| Like, there's things you could do. | ||
| Like, if my chest itches, I'll shave my chest. | ||
| And I'm embarrassed to say it, but I'll do it. | ||
| Especially if it gets itchy after a while. | ||
| I don't know, fuck with my armpits, bro. | ||
| That's vain. | ||
| What about guys that shave their arms that don't have, like, tats? | ||
| I think I heard something like Carrot Top or someone saying he shaves his arms. | ||
| He just does it because he likes the feeling. | ||
| I hate the feel. | ||
| Well, Carrot Top used to be a super bodybuilder jacked guy. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| I think he said he did it one time when he was a swimmer and he just liked the feeling, so he was just like, fuck it. | ||
| Slippery. | ||
| Slippery through that pool. | ||
| Slippery sliding. | ||
| I oil up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I oil up before I swim. | |
| So he's not buff anymore? | ||
| He's back to normal? | ||
| He's still buff. | ||
| He's just not a giant bodybuilder guy. | ||
| Creepy buff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He... | |
| I don't want to talk for him because I don't know him, but I know Duncan did something with him a long time ago. | ||
| They did a pilot for some sort of a reality show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, hey man, I'm going to do this reality show with Carrot Top. | |
| Yeah, that's Carrot Top, but it's Jackety Jackest. | ||
| And that's like a normal Carrot Top. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's, I think it's more what he's like now. | ||
| He's like more like, looks fit. | ||
| That looks like Kathy Gray. | ||
| Yeah, but like back then, he looked like super duper jacked. | ||
| Like his shoulders were popping out unnaturally wide. | ||
| Like it didn't even make sense. | ||
| Like right there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He went off the deep end. | ||
| It looked like he had... | ||
| I mean, he's so big. | ||
| Who knows what the fuck he was doing. | ||
| But he was doing a lot of shit. | ||
| That shoulder does not look... | ||
| It looks like implants. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could be something called synthol that some bodybuilders engage in and what it does. | ||
| They think it helps them balance out areas of their body that aren't big enough. | ||
| And it's real weird because there's a ton of videos of people taking, you know the videos, of people putting synthol on their muscles and dancing around. | ||
| That's not, that's just him looking buff. | ||
| That doesn't look anything nearly as bad. | ||
| We're looking at Carrot Top where he can see his dick root. | ||
| It goes, the photo goes all the way down to what I like to call. | ||
| Is that what's called dick root? | ||
| That's what I call it. | ||
| It's my name. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Dean Cook always posts his dick roots. | |
| Exactly. | ||
| When I describe that look to people where a man has his underwear at the very base of his cock, that's your dick root. | ||
| That's a beautiful term. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| By the way, I demand 100% credit for Dickroot. | ||
| Dickroot. | ||
| I created it because I was trying to figure out how to describe what was uncomfortable about those kind of pictures. | ||
| It's like, you're trying so hard. | ||
| And that's Dickroot. | ||
| That's Dickroot all the way, Carrot Topps. | ||
| Diggity, diggity, Dickroot. | ||
| It looks like he has a thong on. | ||
| It doesn't even look like it should be possible with the laws of gravity. | ||
| It looks like that thing should fall down your ankles. | ||
| A freckled boner should come rocketing at the screen like a 3D shark in Jaws 3D. Jaws 3D. But he's just jacked. | ||
| I mean, he's just a guy who wants everybody to suck his dick. | ||
| Just letting you know it's right there. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| But he's just Jack. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| But what doesn't make sense is the people would stick the oil in their arms and they would create water balloons where their muscles should be. | ||
| And they would dance around. | ||
| There's one video of a guy throwing punches in the air with these water balloons for arms. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| It's so strange. | ||
| A dick root. | ||
| Remember that. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that have those pictures, those dick root pictures. | ||
| Yeah, I see. | ||
| Dane Cook, like, loves the dick root. | ||
| He's a handsome fellow. | ||
| He always posts the most funniest photos. | ||
| Works harder than Jim. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wants to show the goods. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Yeah, this guy. | ||
| This guy 100% is using that stuff. | ||
| Or he's got two equally sized tumors. | ||
| Does he think that looks good? | ||
| Well, he's probably mentally deficient, Brian. | ||
| There's probably something severely wrong with him. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Now, if he was like balancing on top of a skyscraper at the same time, it would be even worse. | ||
| See, the thing about this young man is, you know, there's probably something severely wrong with him, but what he is is an abuser. | ||
| Look at him, he's throwing punches like he's like some sort of a boxer character with his giant water balloon arms. | ||
| But he's an abuser of something. | ||
| How many people are a more reasonable user of it and use it? | ||
| And that's what somebody thought the carrot top stuff was. | ||
| It's real common. | ||
| Yeah, he's a powerful arm wrestled guy who has one arm that's way more jacked than the other. | ||
| It looks so crazy. | ||
| Yeah, that can't be good for you, bro. | ||
| That's real? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He smashes people in arm wrestling. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| This is dick root. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Don't do that, dude. | ||
| He's probably gonna be hurting when he gets older. | ||
| Brian might know, because he likes this topic. | ||
| Have you heard of the Korean Hulk guy that's supposedly dating Lindsay Lohan right now? | ||
| And all of a sudden this show is TMZ. Jamie jumps in with relationship gossip, you son of a bitch. | ||
| That's what you do every time. | ||
| Well, they posted a photo last night, Jamie. | ||
| And, you know, she's dealing with the IRS right now. | ||
| Oh, that guy's super jacked. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Look at his dog. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is that? | |
| He's living with a werewolf. | ||
| That's like a monkey werewolf. | ||
| I tell you, man, I love Koreans. | ||
| We had a family dinner for my girlfriend the other day and I come in and they're cupping. | ||
| They're doing that thing where they puncture a little hole and then they put these glasses and they pretty much suck the bad blood out of you. | ||
| So I walk in and there's just blood everywhere and towels and shit like that. | ||
| What is it supposed to do? | ||
| We've talked about this before, right? | ||
| It's supposed to accelerate blood flow to the area, like pulls the tissue, the skin away from it, and accelerates blood flow? | ||
| Sometimes the blood comes out as gel, which is weird. | ||
| What I didn't know is, because I posted a video of it while they were doing it, a lot of people were saying that cupping's bad for you, and then I did research. | ||
| If it goes bad, it goes bad. | ||
| It leaves permanent damage if they don't do it right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| There's some photos that are pretty disturbing where, like, pretty much just holes in people's backs. | ||
| Oh, fuck, man. | ||
| But yet then the Olympians do it, you know? | ||
| Like, people for the Olympics do it. | ||
| So it's like, what's, you know? | ||
| Well, I don't know shit about medicine, but I would imagine... | ||
| Oh my god, what is that? | ||
| Chinese man left with horrific holes in back after botched. | ||
| Whoa, that's awful. | ||
| That could be just somebody who did it completely wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | |
| What's that one on that far right where it looks like it has horns? | ||
| Lower right, lower right, the bottom. | ||
| Keep going, scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. | ||
| That one. | ||
| To the right, in the middle, with the orange and the blue. | ||
| The right, all the way to the right, Jamie, the other right. | ||
| Edge of the screen, go to the edge of the screen. | ||
| That guy. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| Looks like he's got horns. | ||
| I think that's real. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| It says water buffalo horns are being used for it, but I still don't know. | ||
| They're just using buffalo horns as cups. | ||
| Oh, what? | ||
| Cupping with buffalo horns? | ||
| That's what Rogan does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yo, bro, I do that right at the base of my balls. | |
| My dick root. | ||
| What made sense to me is that you would kind of like create damage, which is why all that blood exists, and that maybe that it'd be like almost like a PRP sort of a thing, where all that extra blood that you've created from that area would go and help the blood flow to the part that's injured, and it would accelerate healing. | ||
| You never know, man, because you can't say that people that are in the Olympics don't ever do anything stupid, because they definitely would do something stupid. | ||
| Someone could talk to me into doing a bunch of shit. | ||
| Sometimes, like, the psychological edge in believing that there's something that's going to work really good will be just enough to get a few people to do it. | ||
| But this has been around for a while. | ||
| This has been around long enough where people are going, like, you know, there's, like, really significant benefits. | ||
| So the water buffalo thing's real. | ||
| They really do it that way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's almost like traditional for, I guess, Korean culture. | ||
| Because, I mean, they were just doing it like it was nothing at a family dinner. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| But maybe that works. | ||
| You know, I mean, the only way you find out if stuff like this works, which is like a really unconventional therapy, is you got to try it. | ||
| If all those super genius type guys that are training these Olympic athletes and getting them to peak performance and what could potentially be worth millions and millions of dollars in sponsorship money if they win the gold medal, if they're having these people get all cupped up, there's probably something to it. | ||
| All cupped up. | ||
| Right? | ||
| In this day and age? | ||
| I think it's like acupuncture. | ||
| I feel like I don't know enough to know if that's accurate or not. | ||
| It seems like it is. | ||
| Some people believe in it a lot because they pay a lot of money for it, do it all the time. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| A lot of people do believe in acupuncture. | ||
| But cupping seems to me to be more next level. | ||
| It's like you're pulling the skin away from the area to the point where it bleeds and turns into a big-ass bruise. | ||
| You have this giant circle red spot where the increased blood flow hasn't been filtered out of the body yet. | ||
| You got some weird shit happen there. | ||
| That ain't a normal thing. | ||
| You got a big circle bruise on your back right where you're hurt. | ||
| Oh, I see what you're doing. | ||
| You're making it all bleed in there so it flows everything out of there and heals it up quicker. | ||
| It kind of makes sense to a dummy like me. | ||
| Like, I don't know anything about how the actual body functions in terms of like how things heal and whether or not it would accelerate or not, but... | ||
| That Michael Phelps guy's doing it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When I asked him how, you know, how does it feel afterwards, he says, it's refreshing. | ||
| I feel way energetic now and relaxed. | ||
| Well, it's like people that wanted to deny the benefits of cryotherapy. | ||
| Before, like, some papers came out, there was a lot of people poo-pooing, and partly for good reason. | ||
| It's because a lot of the people that were running these cryotherapy sites got overzealous in their claims. | ||
| They got real overzealous in their claims of how much weight you can lose, how much better you can look, all these different things that may or may not be true when it comes to cryotherapy, especially in the way they described it. | ||
| But what can't be denied is the way it makes you feel. | ||
| It makes you feel fucking amazing. | ||
| You do three minutes in one of those cryotherapy places, you come out, they're like, woo! | ||
| Everybody I know that's tried it has been like, woo! | ||
| Like, I'll give a lot for that woo. | ||
| Like, that woo's good. | ||
| But everybody's right to be suspicious because the part before the woo was annoying. | ||
| There was a lot of increased collagen in your skin. | ||
| It's like a virtual facelift. | ||
| There's a lot of people claiming something. | ||
| You've got to be able to prove that. | ||
| But they can prove anti-inflammatory markers in the blood. | ||
| They can prove all these hormones and these neurochemicals that your brain can make when you're in that tank. | ||
| Cryotherapy chamber, rather. | ||
| You done yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| Want to do it today? | ||
| No. | ||
| We'll get you to do it today. | ||
| I'll definitely do it. | ||
| Just today, I don't feel great. | ||
| Don't be a pussy. | ||
| Maybe it'll make you feel better. | ||
| I had a milkshake last night. | ||
| Two minutes in there. | ||
| This whole podcast has been a ruse to get me to get you into the cryotherapy chamber. | ||
| I don't want to do a couple of sesh. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| You're too big. | ||
| Someone's gonna burn. | ||
| You'll touch the walls. | ||
| But people do go in as couples, but you gotta be like right close to each other. | ||
| Yeah, people like to endure shit together. | ||
| Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. | ||
| I heard you have a tank here now, though. | ||
| Yes, we do. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, we do, Brian. | |
| Did, uh... | ||
| Crash make it? | ||
| Yeah, Crash made it. | ||
| Float Lab. | ||
| Shout out to the Float Lab. | ||
| Float Lab Venice, Westwood. | ||
| Yeah, Crash put it in there. | ||
| He's a wizard. | ||
| He knows how to do it. | ||
| It's all crazy filtered with ozone and UV light filters and one micron filter. | ||
| He was explaining it all to me, but it was like... | ||
| Sounds good. | ||
| Sounds like you did good shit. | ||
| I'm too fucking dumb. | ||
| Plus, I can't pay attention to everything. | ||
| That's a problem, man. | ||
| That's how I feel when people keep bringing up Bitcoin. | ||
| I was like, let me know. | ||
| Let me know when you get this sorted out because I watch a lot of things. | ||
| I can't follow the Bitcoin show. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| So when we got those bitcoins, remember when he gave us bitcoins a long time ago? | ||
| Who gave us bitcoins? | ||
| Andreas Antonopoulos? | ||
| I've been trying to open up my wallet or find my password to that wallet. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| I'll never be able to get that bitcoin that he gave it. | ||
| Let the universe have it. | ||
| Let it be a statistical anomaly. | ||
| It's probably worth billions of dollars. | ||
| Millions! | ||
| Millions! | ||
| For now. | ||
| It's like you get in and get out, and people are accusing people of pumping dumps, and there's subterfuge. | ||
| Subterfuge is taken into consideration of some of the highs and lows. | ||
| Some things that happen anyway. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Just like everything, right? | ||
| Like big corporations taking over shit. | ||
| It's like these patterns, they're normal. | ||
| You see them coming. | ||
| If you're gonna have something like Bitcoin, you're gonna have people. | ||
| For sure, not everyone's gonna be, well, hey man, I'm a fucking thief. | ||
| But not with Bitcoin. | ||
| Bitcoin would be super cool. | ||
| No more deception. | ||
| This is about the future. | ||
| It's about resolution. | ||
| This is about the children. | ||
| No, anybody who's a scam artist is gonna be a scam artist in anything they can. | ||
| Whether it's a fake religion, or a fake dating site, or a fucking... | ||
| whatever. | ||
| Whatever they can do. | ||
| Whatever they can get you with. | ||
| They're gonna get you with. | ||
| They're like, oh, this is what you guys do now? | ||
| Okay, I'll pretend to be that. | ||
| I'll hop right in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| What do you think is the next big breakthrough that's going to change in terms of how technology and people get along? | ||
| You think it's going to be a robot sex doll? | ||
| No, I think home assistance. | ||
| You know, like having a robot be your home base, like computer. | ||
| I don't know like these Alexas and like Apple's about to release theirs and Google has released theirs and Have you seen the autonomous robots that monitor parking lots? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, I tweeted it I think yesterday But definitely robots we're gonna give up our security and all our privacy at the same time We're going to be fine, because the robot's going to be watching us. | ||
| Keep an eye on me, robot. | ||
| There's going to be zero privacy. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| It's real close. | ||
| It's already there. | ||
| But I mean real close. | ||
| They're not just regular zero privacy, but no one ever has a moment alone, ever. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| It'll slowly erode, then you go into the mountains, then they'll put cell phone towers out there, and then that's going to be it. | ||
| Whatever the technology is, you're going to know where everyone is at any moment, and we're going to really get to know each other. | ||
| What do you got, Jamie? | ||
| I was looking up for the thing. | ||
| I saw... | ||
| It wasn't on your Twitter feed, I guess. | ||
| I saw a video of autonomous parking robots moving cars in and out of spots. | ||
| I didn't put it on Twitter? | ||
| I thought I did. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| It was a comp... | ||
| I'm pretty sure I retweeted it. | ||
| You know what it is, though? | ||
| I think I retweeted somebody else saying, hey, this is happening, or something like that. | ||
| So it's probably not that clear. | ||
| One of the more recent tweets. | ||
| It's happening, Brian. | ||
| They're gonna be flying around us, monitoring us. | ||
| You saw that one robot, I think it was in San Francisco, beat up homeless people or something like that? | ||
| Good move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| When stuff like that happens, there's gonna be a big pullback. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's crazy. | |
| Robots fight with homeless people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that's what we need. | |
| We need robots picking on the downtrodden. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| Let them know. | ||
| You pussies are on your way out. | ||
| The robots are here! | ||
| I mean, that literally is like the first wave of immigrants from the Silicon world. | ||
| Robots that fuck with homeless people. | ||
| The first invaders. | ||
| Tripping them and stuff. | ||
| iRobot, the thing about iRobot is you'd watch it and it was made just at the right time. | ||
| It was made where you didn't think it's ever possible. | ||
| It's made at a time where this is pretty cool. | ||
| Like, yeah man, the future. | ||
| Yeah, I could see it being real. | ||
| But you didn't think it was really possible. | ||
| And now you watch iRobot and you go... | ||
| Oh, it's inevitable. | ||
| That's inevitable. | ||
| That thing that does the robot thing, where it pretends to be a person and looks real freaky, that's easily doable. | ||
| Makama? | ||
| Or was that Machinima? | ||
| What's that one? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Security robots are being used to ward off San Francisco's homeless population. | ||
| That's the drone. | ||
| What's it called? | ||
| Who makes that thing? | ||
| Does it say? | ||
| They retired it. | ||
| Oh, they did? | ||
| There's a whole company that makes those things and has them wandering around parking lots. | ||
| Man, I hope I retweeted it. | ||
| I tried to. | ||
| Somebody sent it to me and I was like, okay, that's how it happens. | ||
| They just have these things wandering around recording everything. | ||
| So everybody's responsible for any car accident, anything that ever happens. | ||
| If it hears someone screaming rape, if it hears someone screaming police, it immediately goes to the scene and films. | ||
| It has no worries about its own mortality. | ||
| It's streaming in real time. | ||
| It gets to record all altercations between people. | ||
| Eventually, hotels agree. | ||
| As long as this is password secure and encrypted, they allowed to have the fire detector in the corner double as a video camera that records everything in the room at all times. | ||
| It's gonna happen. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| Just gotta get used to people watching you fuck. | ||
| Are you ready? | ||
| I took the sticker off my webcam on my laptop a long time ago, Joe. | ||
| They can watch me all I want. | ||
| I don't know why I'm more nervous about this in 2018. This is what's silly. | ||
| I mean, it's become accelerated. | ||
| I'm more nervous every year when it comes to technology, because I'm not nervous in the way that I think it's totally 100% negative, but nervous in the way, like, it just seems to me that we might be in the middle of something and not be paying attention. | ||
| Like, that it's happening so fucking fast that we're caught up in it, and it's just this wild wave of change, and I'm just trying to make sense of it while it's happening. | ||
| But then there's something about, like, numbers. | ||
| Like, I used to think that saying, like, the year 2017, it's stupid. | ||
| Who cares what year it is? | ||
| It's all just now. | ||
| But no. | ||
| There's, like, a way we feel about it differently. | ||
| Like, you know, it's fucking 2018, dude, dude. | ||
| It's like, you have a feeling about you now. | ||
| It's like, we're very, very far ahead in this game. | ||
| This is the future. | ||
| 2018, that's a crazy number. | ||
| Hey man, it's 1979. Nope, it's 2018. Whoa. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| So weird. | ||
| And when does this thing, like, if you had a guess, how much longer does the human race have? | ||
| Six months? | ||
| It seems like it. | ||
| No, if you really had a guess. | ||
| We're not going to be here forever, right? | ||
| So we're not going to be here 100,000 years from now or 200,000 years from now. | ||
| We're just not. | ||
| I started listening to the audiobook of Sapiens, and I feel like that's what it's getting to, that question you're asking. | ||
| The first couple chapters are leading up to, he says it over and over again, thousands of years from now, maybe 2,000 is what it's saying, that the human race won't be, or human beings won't be what we are today. | ||
| We'll be another... | ||
| Evolution of whatever that is, off of Australopithecus. | ||
| Yeah, Australopithecus. | ||
| Australopithecus. | ||
| See if you find any good pictures of that thing. | ||
| I mean, this is what they think. | ||
| They think that that's what started. | ||
| That was when it was fairly distinctly human. | ||
| It's gonna keep going. | ||
| It's gonna go to some new thing. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| I mean, that's so close. | ||
| It's like a walking, upright chimpanzee. | ||
| And then that got smarter, and that got smarter, and things kept going. | ||
| But the thing that really fucks you up is it's not that long ago. | ||
| Like, I think Australopithecus was less than two million years, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Sounds right. | ||
| And then there's modern homo sapiens, which I think they think are somewhere in the neighborhood of 300,000 to 500,000 years old. | ||
| They keep moving it around a little bit when they find some new dead guy. | ||
| They find some new bones and they're like, oh, this one's older. | ||
| They're kind of guessing. | ||
| I want to say they're in the neighborhood of 300,000. | ||
| That ain't shit. | ||
| Dude, that ain't shit. | ||
| That just happened. | ||
| If that's when they really started, that just happened. | ||
| So you're talking about 300,000 years from now? | ||
| Woo! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| We're gonna be made out of gas. | ||
| We're gonna be like those fires that are on petroleum. | ||
| They won't be able to see us. | ||
| Our intelligence will be all-pervasive. | ||
| We'll have one operating system that we share with Mother Earth. | ||
| They'll plug it into our brains. | ||
| We'll plug into the ground and we'll become divine. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| No? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's how I am. | ||
| You're like, let him go. | ||
| He'll come back. | ||
| I always wonder what they thought about this 200 years ago, 150 years ago. | ||
| What they thought... | ||
| I feel like they thought that the world was going to end, too, back then. | ||
| They were probably 25 years away from it ending. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Anytime anything, especially back when there was no media, anytime anything catastrophic happened in your area, you thought that was going to be the end. | ||
| The moon was made of cheese. | ||
| It's really weird how recent that was. | ||
| That's what's weird. | ||
| When you just think about hundreds of thousands of years, it seems like a long ass time. | ||
| But it's not when you talk about the shape of human beings and what's happened in that amount of time, especially in the last few hundred or few thousand years. | ||
| Just all you need is sick. | ||
| If you want to like really impress the shit out of people, give me 10,000 years. | ||
| 10,000 years ago and 10,000 years now. | ||
| You're like, wah! | ||
| You'd freak out. | ||
| There's no other time in history that would be the case. | ||
| Like, every other time in history, 10,000 years would be like, whoa, oh, they figured out how to make cooler houses. | ||
| Like, whoa, oh, he's riding an elephant. | ||
| How do you figure that out? | ||
| Like, whoa, oh, that bow and arrow's way better than my bow and arrow. | ||
| Every 10,000 years, no big deal. | ||
| Then all of a sudden, one 10,000 year period and you have everything. | ||
| You got the pyramids, you got space travel, you've got the internet, you got video, photography, 3D printers. | ||
| Every time you say something like this, this pops in my head, the end of Gangs of New York, where it shows that montage of the 100 years or so of New York changing. | ||
| And I just think about it, that's only 100 years that New York changed from this crazy nothingness, even though it's really big then, to like tons of skyscrapers and bridges and all of what it is today. | ||
| And it wasn't anything close to that back then, and that's like 100 years. | ||
| And you're talking about 10,000. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so much more time compared to 100. Yeah, that's an amazing montage. | |
| Time-lapse. | ||
| What would you call that? | ||
| Yeah, it's time-lapse. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| New York City's a freakout, man. | ||
| And even more crazy. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It keeps going. | ||
| And that's even bigger now. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Twin Towers aren't there. | ||
| Yeah, New York City is a genuine freakout. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unless you've been, you should go. | |
| If you've been and you get it, you're like, yeah, it's nuts. | ||
| I love going. | ||
| But if you haven't been, it's a paradigm shifter because you realize that it's possible. | ||
| It's such a big city. | ||
| I've been to a lot of big cities. | ||
| But New York City is so crazy in the way it's constructed that you go there, you have a different feel about you. | ||
| You're like, whoa, okay. | ||
| We're in New York City. | ||
| This is different. | ||
| It is different. | ||
| These buildings are fucking giant. | ||
| These people are everywhere. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| This is a different, completely different feeling. | ||
| And different people. | ||
| Yeah, unfortunately the people are Straddled down by the echoes of the emigrants that were their great-grandparents and their grandparents and their struggle that they had to get from Europe Over to America. | ||
| This is my thought because this is my own family. | ||
| I'm talking about I feel like a lot of the Italian immigrants with my grandfather He came over When he was a boy, his family, and on both my mom's and my dad's side, they all came over from Europe, either from Ireland or from Italy. | ||
| They were all, like, really aggressive, risk-taking people, you know? | ||
| And those are the people that built that whole area, which is just, when you think about, like, what a... | ||
| Crazy accomplishment it is to build this gigantic city from all these immigrants that came over from Europe, you know, from 1700, whatever it is, on just constructing all these incredible buildings. | ||
| It's a very, very bizarre accomplishment. | ||
| But that same kind of energy that brought those people over there in the first place would create a lot of interpersonal conflict and a lot of aggression. | ||
| I don't know if New York's totally gotten past that. | ||
| I think they have more now than ever before. | ||
| I was reading something about the crime rate, that New York's crime rate is the lowest it's been in a long-ass time. | ||
| I think we're at the highest right now, right? | ||
| LA is? | ||
| Are you making this up? | ||
| I feel like I just saw something the other day where... | ||
| We've had more homicides this year than recent. | ||
| You fall asleep? | ||
| Seems like it. | ||
| I'm trying to remember. | ||
| I thought I saw something that was close to that, but I thought the murder rate was down, but violent crime was up. | ||
| More pimp slaps than ever. | ||
| We have three police chases a day on the TV. It's like ridiculous how... | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Police chases are fucking terrifying, because you don't want the cops to just let someone run away, or you don't want the cops to slam into you while they're chasing some guy. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, crime rates in New York City reached record lows. | ||
| There's an article about it. | ||
| DeBlasio, that's the guy, right? | ||
| It's just if you don't know that that's possible, go in there and see that it's possible, and then realize that it's on within 100 years. | ||
| That's where it's mind-boggling. | ||
| Or 200 years, or whatever New York City has been around for in totality. | ||
| What is the world we're experiencing right now going to be like in 100 years? | ||
| I mean, are... | ||
| It almost seems to me like there's no way we're going to be able to guess. | ||
| If you look at how quick that accelerated and use that as a pattern, like that kind of happened all across the country. | ||
| Chicago, LA, San Francisco, they all were nothing and then everything, you know? | ||
| Some people say New York won't be here in 100 years because of the water rising up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or LA. That would be crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Fuck. | ||
| Well, we have a water crisis in a lot of parts of the country. | ||
| We just gotta suck the water out of the ocean and use it to spray all these dry-ass bushes so we stop the fires. | ||
| Yo, I'm always thinking. | ||
| Suck the water out of the ocean. | ||
| Stop making new houses for a while and start concentrating on sucking the water out of the ocean to put out the fire. | ||
| Just water all those trees. | ||
| Yeah, suck out the water out of the air. | ||
| Like, just get a bunch of humidifiers and then spray the water. | ||
| That's not good, because then people dry out, and then the Botox goes up. | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| They gotta figure out how to get the salt out of the water, right? | ||
| They know how to do it. | ||
| But you can't just take ocean water and spray it on your lawn, right? | ||
| Kill your fucking lawn. | ||
| Won't it? | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| It's a fake lawn. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, but I mean, if you have crops in your backyard, say, say if you're growing tomatoes, and you decide to water it with ocean water, would that be a bad idea? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It would? | ||
| The salt would be terrible for it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| It would just, the salt would stay. | ||
| It would kill everything else. | ||
| It would just erode. | ||
| It's like, I don't think that's exactly what rust is, but it would turn into some sort of fucked up chemical compound that isn't grass. | ||
| Like a hard water. | ||
| It would kind of poison it. | ||
| It would be a higher salt content than the plant wants to exist on. | ||
| And I think that would be the case with a lot of stuff that doesn't live in the ocean, right? | ||
| So you'd have to figure out a way to get that salt out. | ||
| But once you did, that water would be super valuable. | ||
| Like, we're always low on water. | ||
| And we have too much of it now. | ||
| Start sucking it out of the ocean. | ||
| Just use our own need to... | ||
| Like, we have a crazy need to use stuff, you know? | ||
| A constant need. | ||
| We have a constant need for consumption. | ||
| So let's consume the water in the ocean. | ||
| Suck it out. | ||
| They do it. | ||
| It's just very expensive. | ||
| They do it in San Diego. | ||
| I think there's a saltwater plant or something. | ||
| Yeah, we just gotta get better at that. | ||
| See, I need a better process for it. | ||
| Yeah, see, everybody's concentrating all the money is in robot fuck dolls and not spending any time working on this water problem. | ||
| Elon Musk, get on top of this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Elon! | |
| Bro! | ||
| Bro, you gotta figure this out, Elon. | ||
| It could be done. | ||
| And cancer. | ||
| Do cancer first. | ||
| I think cancer can be severely mitigated in some circumstances by diet. | ||
| And I think that's the thing to concentrate on first before a pill, Brian. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| CRISPR. CRISPR. Imagine if there was a way you could just eat shit all day and be jacked. | ||
| Like Jeremiah Watkins. | ||
| No, poor Jeremiah. | ||
| Don't even say that. | ||
| 30 pounds. | ||
| Well, let's explain to everybody what you're talking about. | ||
| So we do the Kill Tony show, and Jeremiah Watkins and Tony Hinchcliffe kind of copied the Tom Zegura formula, but backwards. | ||
| To see how much weight they can gain in a month. | ||
| Tony did the, like, working out and trying to gain muscle weight, where Jeremiah just ate like shit for 30 days and gained 30 pounds in 30 days, where Tony only gained 2.5 pounds, I think it was. | ||
| Yeah, it says just over 3 pounds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, 30 pounds to Tony Hinchcliffe, who gained just over 3 pounds. | ||
| Jeremiah will now get to host Kill Tony's show and keep his hair. | ||
| Yeah, the bullshit was the bet, though. | ||
| And one of the most funniest nights I've had in a long time was you calling out Tony about how it's not fair if Jeremiah lost, he had to shave his head. | ||
| Well, this is what I said. | ||
| I said, this is not an even bet. | ||
| Like, you guys should both be betting the same thing. | ||
| Like, if Jeremiah wins, all he does is get to sit down in a seat for, like, a day. | ||
| He gets to host an episode of the podcast. | ||
| He gets to sit in a seat, so everybody knows it's funny. | ||
| But if he won... | ||
| Or if you want, he has to shave his fucking head. | ||
| Like, that's crazy. | ||
| And Jeremiah has nice, long hair. | ||
| Where Tony has really short hair, would have grown back in like a day. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Jeremiah's hair seems like kind of a part of who he is. | ||
| Yes, absolutely. | ||
| He's got silly hair. | ||
| He's this big, silly fella. | ||
| And he likes his haircut. | ||
| But he was willing to do it. | ||
| And I told Tony, I was like, fuck that. | ||
| I go, look, dude, you guys have to have the same bet. | ||
| I go, why are you scared to shave your head? | ||
| It'd be amazing. | ||
| And I go, how about this? | ||
| How about even better? | ||
| You don't have to shave your head. | ||
| You have to wear lipstick on stage for a year. | ||
| Tony said that. | ||
| What? | ||
| Didn't Tony bring it up? | ||
| No, I said, that was my joke. | ||
| You don't remember what I did. | ||
| I said it, and then after I was trying to force him to do it because he didn't want to do it, I go, you know what's fucked up? | ||
| It was Tony's idea. | ||
| I just threw him under the bridge. | ||
| I was like, I don't know why you want to wear lipstick, man. | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| Oh my God, I thought he really did. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| Do you remember I was saying that and everybody was dying laughing? | ||
| The reason why everybody was dying laughing is because they knew I was just fucking with him. | ||
| I was like, it was his idea, which is so weird. | ||
| No, but the idea was you would have to go on stage, and then once you're on stage, you have to put lipstick on, or we would decide that you had to have it on when you walked out to the crowd. | ||
| Either or. | ||
| We didn't decide. | ||
| And then you could take it off after 15 minutes. | ||
| So if you were doing a headliner set somewhere, and you're doing an hour, for the first 15 minutes, you're wearing makeup. | ||
| So I said, but here, the thing about that beautiful red lipstick is that it would make you concentrate On a joke about why the fuck you were willing to make a bet, how you lost the bet, and then rationalize away about nothing wrong. | ||
| How come chapstick's okay, but lipstick ain't? | ||
| How come girls get to wear lipstick, bro? | ||
| What the fuck are we doing, man? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| That would have been so funny if he had to wear lipstick for a year. | ||
| It would have been hilarious. | ||
| I told him I would do it too. | ||
| Yeah, you go. | ||
| Yeah, I said I'd do it. | ||
| I said I'll do it too. | ||
| Come on, we'll all do it together. | ||
| Don't be scared. | ||
| Take a bet. | ||
| It's not a hard bet. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| You'd have to have the lipstick ears photos every time you're on stage. | ||
| And this is what you have. | ||
| You have a package of wet wipes you bring on stage and a dry white towel and everybody knows. | ||
| You have 15 minutes of lipstick time. | ||
| You might grow to like it. | ||
| You might start getting your nails did and everything. | ||
| You definitely could come up with bits from it. | ||
| It could be possible. | ||
| And it would be fun for people to go along with. | ||
| But Tony can't handle that. | ||
| Tony's scared. | ||
| I feel like he's scared, right? | ||
| I think he should at least shave his head. | ||
| He should have shaved his head. | ||
| He should have had a deal. | ||
| Obviously, he has way more beautiful hair than I do. | ||
| But I feel like if I had good hair, I'd shave it off because I knew it would come back. | ||
| Tony has super short hair. | ||
| That's not Tony Hinchcliffe, man. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| That's Eddie Izzard. | ||
| Is Eddie Izzard living as a woman now? | ||
| Someone told me that. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Well, it's not necessarily living as a woman. | ||
| Still looks like Eddie Izzard with lipstick and a dress. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Eddie Izzard will have my respect for all his days because Eddie Izzard ran a marathon a day with no training all around Ireland. | ||
| Do you know about that thing? | ||
| No. | ||
| Dude, he didn't even prepare for it. | ||
| He didn't even prepare for it. | ||
| Did he finish him? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He did it all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He rode a marathon a day for like four weeks or something crazy, right? | ||
| Wasn't it? | ||
| Dude, his feet were literally falling apart. | ||
| Like they would show them cleaning up his feet and taking care of his skin. | ||
| It was just torn to pieces, man. | ||
| It was just straight, raw mental toughness and a resolve that... | ||
| I mean, you think about him, you think about him as a comedian, a funny guy, a thoughtful guy, and he had that odd thing that he was doing where he was wearing women's clothes and all that stuff. | ||
| 27 marathons in 27 days. | ||
| Yeah, you don't you don't really know what that guy's about until you watch this documentary that you can watch online. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Is there a name for it where people can search it? | ||
| It's amazing man. | ||
| You'll find it. | ||
| So What he did was I don't I don't even remember what the charity was. | ||
| Do you remember what the charity was? | ||
| It was some sort of a charity if he did the 27 marathons. | ||
| I think he only took a couple days off. | ||
| Here and there, there were days where he literally couldn't walk. | ||
| I feel like he did this twice. | ||
| To Jesus Christ! | ||
| This says he did 43 marathons in 51 days. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That might be the new thing. | ||
| He did it again. | ||
| I bet it was. | ||
| Marathon man. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| So he did it before, he did less, and then he came back and did it again. | ||
| Somebody told me about it a few years ago, but it was after the fact. | ||
| I didn't know he's done it twice. | ||
| Guy's a fucking animal. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| He's an animal. | ||
| I mean, that's just crazy. | ||
| But then I read something unrelated. | ||
| I read something that he was living as a woman, but that might not He might just feel like wearing a dress that day. | ||
| He's Eddie Izzard. | ||
| You run 53 marathons, whatever the fuck he did, you can do whatever you want, dude. | ||
| Maybe his dick fell off. | ||
| He did this in 2016, and then the first one was in 2009. Ah, okay, that makes sense. | ||
| Because the 2009 one I think I found out about around 2012 or something like that, I remember watching it thinking, that's a kind of... | ||
| Mental toughness that very few people have. | ||
| I don't think I have it. | ||
| To run that many marathons in that many days? | ||
| Not even one. | ||
| You might have to force yourself into that. | ||
| Two in the last day. | ||
| Two in the last day. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| What? | ||
| He ran a double marathon on the last day. | ||
| So that was the toughest day of my life. | ||
| Holy shit, dude. | ||
| Day five, he had to take off to go to the hospital. | ||
| So he had to make up one. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He had to go to the hospital to get his kidneys checked out. | ||
| So on day 27, I ran my 26th and my 27th marathon. | ||
| Double marathon on the last day. | ||
| So that was the toughest day of my life. | ||
| I'm telling you, man, that is not a regular person. | ||
| A guy who's not like a Cam Haynes type guy who's in shape who can just do... | ||
| Like, Cam Haynes can run a marathon a day and it's not hard. | ||
| Like, if he... | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| If he wanted to go and do 27 marathons in 27 days, he'd be like, yeah, I've done that already. | ||
| He could just do it. | ||
| He can go do that. | ||
| But... | ||
| Eddie Izzard wasn't planning for that. | ||
| He didn't get in shape before he did it. | ||
| Unless he did the second time. | ||
| I might be wrong about the second time, but the first time he did it, he didn't get in shape for it. | ||
| And to see him run in those 27 marathons, it's all just mental toughness. | ||
| He just forced his body to keep moving. | ||
| What does it say here? | ||
| He's going into politics in 2020. Oh shit, king of the world, Eddie Izzard. | ||
| Maybe he's the first transgender president. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If he decided to go for it, eh, we'll fix that. | |
| Well, president of where they live. | ||
| He also did all these marathons in South Africa where the weather was a bit hotter than it would be in the UK. Yeah, listen to the Antwerp music and ducking crocodiles. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So he's gonna go into a... | ||
| Yeah, his reasoning here, he says, that's why I pulled that up. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So he's doing these races just to get people to pay attention? | ||
| Yeah, it's the messages behind. | ||
| He's not really into racing. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Interesting. | ||
| He's a very thoughtful guy. | ||
| But what impressed me the most is not just the words that he strings together and how he says things, which is always impressive. | ||
| But someone who can do that. | ||
| That is not normal. | ||
| That's extraordinary. | ||
| Because it would be extraordinary for someone who's in great shape. | ||
| Like a person who is like a... | ||
| You know, world-class, like that Courtney Doe Walter lady. | ||
| If she ran 27 marathons in 27 days, it would still be remarkably impressive. | ||
| It is just the amount of time that you have to spend running every day for 27 days. | ||
| That shit is impressive. | ||
| That's just impressive. | ||
| But to do it when you're just a guy who's a comic, and you're not even in shape. | ||
| He wasn't even thin. | ||
| He had like a bit of a belly. | ||
| He wasn't lean by any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| He didn't look like a runner. | ||
| Does he still do comedy? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I feel like I haven't seen or heard about him in a long time. | ||
| I think we're guilty over here of not paying attention to what happens in comedy anywhere else in the world. | ||
| Somebody has to beat me over the head with somebody that's really funny from somewhere else for me to pay attention. | ||
| I just saw that they have Roast Battle now in the UK. There he goes. | ||
| Eddie Izzard, Believe Me Tour. | ||
| Not that it matters, but find out if he's a woman. | ||
| The show's in French. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Of course. | ||
| He's a genius. | ||
| The guy's doing shows in French. | ||
| The show is in French. | ||
| The show is in French. | ||
| Fuck, man. | ||
| I'm gonna go there with those Google Pixel headsets. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| That's where originally I got the idea of us being able to communicate with plants. | ||
| I figured this is step one. | ||
| Step one is the Google Pixel earbuds that let you listen to someone speak Spanish in real time translated to English. | ||
| Step two is they figure out some sort of a universal code that the plant world is willing to accept. | ||
| And we start communicating back and forth with the plant world. | ||
| Step three, they develop a headset, some sort of a neural interface with a human being when they put this thing on and you go out into the forest and you communicate with the trees. | ||
| Their frequency. | ||
| I see that. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| All I have to do is get them to... | ||
| They're obviously communicating with themselves. | ||
| There's some form of communication between plants. | ||
| This has been proven. | ||
| There's a bunch of weird shit they do. | ||
| Like, they change the way they taste based on whether or not they hear things going on in the distance. | ||
| They'll hear someone eating them in the distance, and they'll change the way they taste. | ||
| They catch things downwind. | ||
| Like, the smell of them getting consumed by another animal will change the way they taste. | ||
| Like, that was the case with the Keisha bush and giraffes. | ||
| They found out giraffes that were eating these acacia bushes upwind, when they would eat them, the smell of them consuming them would come downwind and it would change the flavor profile of all these other trees. | ||
| They would turn nasty tasting to avoid the giraffes from eating them. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| So then they figured out that they could play the sound of caterpillars munching leaves right next to the tree, and it would have the same effect. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, so somehow or another, they know what it sounds like when they're eating. | ||
| I wonder if they try everything, like, we're going to have sex with this tree and just see what happens, or... | ||
| Tickle the tree. | ||
| Vegans are super not happy about plants being alive. | ||
| I'm thinking. | ||
| You bring it up, they get so triggered. | ||
| It is one of the most triggering things is plant intelligence research. | ||
| Because they want to claim moral superiority. | ||
| They want to claim that, you know, la la la, I can't hear the plant. | ||
| That cabbage is screaming when you pull it out of the ground, you fuck. | ||
| Screaming for its family, the interconnectedness with the mycelium and the soil. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's beautiful. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But I think what's going to fix veganism, honestly, is that robot meat. | ||
| That artificial lab-created meat. | ||
| That's going to fix it. | ||
| People are going to realize, like, oh, you're just healthier this way. | ||
| Your body has more vitality. | ||
| It's going to be extinct. | ||
| Veganism is going to be extinct in the future. | ||
| Yeah, as soon as they come up with super ethical meat, there's going to be no reason for it. | ||
| Everybody's going to go, well, dude, I feel so much better when I eat steak. | ||
| It's just, fuck, like, it's, it's, there's obviously a reason why we're having all this debate. | ||
| It's not like it's crystal clear one way or another. | ||
| It's like, it's not good that an animal die so that you live. | ||
| That's not good. | ||
| That doesn't feel good. | ||
| But it's not good if they get overpopulated either. | ||
| Again, that's not good either. | ||
| You know, I was reading this thing about, there's an animal called an awadad. | ||
| It's like a sheep. | ||
| And they imported them to Texas a long time ago, and they don't taste good to eat, apparently. | ||
| Or maybe a lot of people are eating them the wrong way. | ||
| So because of that, they don't hunt them a lot. | ||
| Or if they do hunt them, it's not like the same way they hunt white-tailed deer or something like that. | ||
| And they live in these, like, difficult-to-get-to-remote parts of, like, West Texas and shit. | ||
| And so then some of them, the ranchers have taken to, like, firing guns out of helicopters to get rid of them. | ||
| Like, this is crazy. | ||
| Like, you have animals that you're hunting with helicopters that you brought over here from another place. | ||
| What do they look like? | ||
| Just like... | ||
| They're cool-looking, man. | ||
| They look like some sort of a Star Wars-type... | ||
| Goat creature. | ||
| Sheep creature. | ||
| They have amazing horns. | ||
| They have these enormous horns. | ||
| But apparently they just can't figure out a way to make them taste good. | ||
| This is from everybody that I know that's tried to eat them. | ||
| Give it to an Asian and they'll figure it out. | ||
| It's probably a good call. | ||
| I wonder if this... | ||
| There must be somebody that thinks they taste good and knows what to do. | ||
| But pull up a picture of an Awadad sheep. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| What were you looking for? | ||
| I have an Awasi sheep. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's called Awadad. | ||
| They're like one of the few animals that are like universally thought to taste like shit. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| From people that hunt them. | ||
| But they're here and they have to control their population. | ||
| So what do you do about them? | ||
| What do you do about wild pigs? | ||
| What do you do about animals that get to the... | ||
| Unless you want to let predators loose. | ||
| That's it right there. | ||
| Look at that picture. | ||
| Oh, that's a stone sheep. | ||
| No, it's Owadad. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| How'd you spell it? | ||
| Ow. | ||
| A-W-A-D-A-D? Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, they have a picture of those fuckers. | |
| Awadad Hunt, Texas. | ||
| Type in that because they're very popular to hunt in Texas. | ||
| But I don't think a lot of people... | ||
| Ooh, Awadad Hunt, Texas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Those are deer. | ||
| That's not the same thing. | ||
| How do you spell that Awadad word? | ||
| None of these things are the Awadad. | ||
| Awadad has like big, thick horns. | ||
| Say it to Siri and see what she comes up with. | ||
| Well, either way. | ||
| What would you do with all the... | ||
| If we did figure out a way to never have an animal suffer again, but we could all eat meat, what would you do with all the animals that existed? | ||
| That would be a giant dilemma. | ||
| Like, how many people would say, yeah, you know what, that's all well and good, but I want a cow that just got killed. | ||
| I want a real cow that's really alive. | ||
| It makes me think and feel better. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| That's some sort of feral sheep. | ||
| That's weird that they don't have Aladad. | ||
| Maybe try a different spelling. | ||
| Aladad Sheep Hunt Texas. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| The delicate balance of, like, prey and predator. | ||
| Like, how do you manage that? | ||
| If you have certain populations of these animals just running loose. | ||
| Somebody sent me a video, that's it. | ||
| I just took the word off. | ||
| It just took sheep, Texas. | ||
| Go back to that last one you had. | ||
| That's exactly what it looks like. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| It looks like the devil. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Those horns? | ||
| That's like some Satan shit from Damien. | ||
| It's weird that meat is not just meat, though. | ||
| You can't just take that leg off and eat it. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It's definitely different. | ||
| Some people say goat is delicious, but I think it really depends upon the diet of the goat. | ||
| Some goats, they eat weird shit and they taste terrible. | ||
| And some goats, they eat delicious plants and you eat them and I bet it tastes as good as anything you're ever going to eat. | ||
| It varies so much between the people that say it tastes amazing versus the people that say it tastes terrible. | ||
| That's a perfect example of one. | ||
| I mean, that looks like something from Star Wars. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's crazy looking. | ||
| But what would you do? | ||
| So if we did figure out a way to have all of our meat come out of a laboratory so nothing has to die, what do we do about all the animals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Zoo. | |
| Zoo. | ||
| That's not right. | ||
| That's even crazier. | ||
| Like, to not have a ranch instead of have a zoo? | ||
| Animal Island. | ||
| Dude, that's it. | ||
| That's the island we were talking about. | ||
| We ship all the animals to like some giant, like New Zealand. | ||
| We make a deal with New Zealand. | ||
| We're going to bring over lions, bro. | ||
| What did I say with no predators? | ||
| Isn't that like Jurassic Park, basically? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You'd have to bring over predators too. | ||
| You'd have to create a wild ecosystem, just a fully wild ecosystem. | ||
| There's so many people by the year 2099 that we have occupied every single stretch of the world and everything looks like New York City except one continent which is like Central Park for the world. | ||
| So the world is now one enormous city but we've maintained like the Amazon. | ||
| The Amazon rainforest is what we cherish. | ||
| That's our last connection to Mother Earth before we completely Slip in to some symbiotic relationship with computers. | ||
| We're allowed to visit this island in a little hamster ball, so. | ||
| Yeah, dude, just like Jurassic Park. | ||
| This could be real. | ||
| This could be real. | ||
| I mean, it sounds crazy, but if you're talking about 500 years from now, we literally could have occupied every single part of the earth, except for one place. | ||
| We literally could make some sort of a deal. | ||
| Nobody goes to the Amazon. | ||
| This could be a great science fiction movie. | ||
| Feel free to steal it. | ||
| Dark mirror. | ||
| I think we need to start building underwater. | ||
| Underwater cities. | ||
| Fuck that, dude. | ||
| Can you imagine you're underwater and you see a little crack in the wall and you're coming home and you're on edibles and you're so tired but you have to be at work in three hours. | ||
| And you look and you see a little, just a small crack in the world. | ||
| And you go, do I talk about this crack? | ||
| Maybe it's just a flaw in the glass. | ||
| It just looks like a crack. | ||
| And then as you're going back home at the end of your shift, it looks just a little bigger. | ||
| See, I'd rather do this than Mars. | ||
| I'd trust underwater cracks more than going in a Tesla to Mars. | ||
| Just the feeling of all the walls exploding instantaneously and billions of gallons of ocean water crushing your very existence instantaneously. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Just a smash of the ocean hundred feet deep around you crushing everything as soon as that crack gets big enough. | ||
| I'm freaking me out. | ||
| So you would do Mars? | ||
| No, I'm not doing any of them. | ||
| They can go fuck themselves. | ||
| Would you even get in the submarine? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| No desire. | ||
| I went to see Nemo at Walt Disney. | ||
| That was a fun ride. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great for little kids. | |
| Finding Nemo. | ||
| You go out in the little submarine and they have a little show they do for you. | ||
| It's wonderful. | ||
| That's about as good as it gets. | ||
| That noise. | ||
| How about that one lady who was a reporter who went in the guy's submarine and he killed her and chopped her up? | ||
| Decapitated her. | ||
| Like, what the fuck? | ||
| Can you imagine if you're a lady and you go out there and you're looking to do a story about a guy who made his own submarine and then somewhere along the line he kills you and chops you up and throws you in the ocean. | ||
| You've got to think, like, when you're going to interview a guy who made a submarine, there's no way this guy's going to chop me up. | ||
| That's not going to happen. | ||
| He knows that everybody knows I'm going to visit him. | ||
| I kind of believe his excuse a little but then I you know that where the the hatch just closed on her head Yeah, but you're supposed to tell people yeah, you're not supposed to chop her up and throw in the ocean and pretend nothing happened You just tell everybody is a horrific accident and you feel terrible and you get punished and Fuck man Poor lady. | ||
| 11 days to think about it, though. | ||
| He had 11 days? | ||
| I'm sort of reading it right now as you guys are saying it. | ||
| Her torso was found 11 days later. | ||
| At first he said she died of carbon monoxide poisoning. | ||
| He previously had said the thing that hit her head was a 150-pound hatch door. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Could you imagine that? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| Hatch door hitting your head makes sense. | ||
| But either way, fuck submarines. | ||
| Dude, fuck submarines. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Do you have any desire to go bungee jumping? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Good for you, son. | ||
| I'm scared of heights. | ||
| I don't want any of that. | ||
| Fuck all that, right? | ||
| The squirrel suit doesn't sound terribly... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It sounds kind of fun. | ||
| You would do the squirrel suit? | ||
| I wouldn't do it. | ||
| It sounds fun, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want to fly. | |
| Make sure you let me know when you're going to do that so I can prepare for your absence forever. | ||
| It's going to be anytime soon. | ||
| Life insurance policy on you. | ||
| Don't let Andy Stump fucking call you at 2 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| All lit up. | ||
| Trying to get you to jump off the Alps. | ||
| But if he ever gets a suit with some jets on it, I might be. | ||
| What if that goes wrong? | ||
| What if that's like the Tesla door handles that won't open up? | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| I don't even want to parasail anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hang gliding is... | ||
| I've heard of people getting shot up in a hang glider 300 feet and just a little spout of air that they can't control. | ||
| And you're fucked on that. | ||
| Fuck all that. | ||
| People are crazy. | ||
| All that for thrills. | ||
| For wild thrills. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| We're going to have flying cars though. | ||
| That's another thing they're looking into. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are seriously considering flying cars right now. | ||
| I think it's a matter of time before they lock that in. | ||
| I think it's going to be automated pilots, or I mean driverless cars first, then flying. | ||
| I think you're totally right. | ||
| I think they're going to have the same sort of lane departure warnings and all the stuff that keeps cars from crashing into each other, the correct. | ||
| And then people are just going to say, well, as long as they're autonomous, it actually makes it more efficient to use the entire 3D space and not have the landscape marred with all these hard roads. | ||
| I haven't been a bummer today, have I? I feel like I'm freaking... | ||
| I'm freaking me out. | ||
| I don't know why I'm more serious about this shit heading into 2018, but it just seems ominous. | ||
| Dum, dum, dum. | ||
| Alright, I gotta pee so bad we have to wrap this up. | ||
| I've been holding it in. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I drank too much coffee before this one. | ||
| It's still almost three hours. | ||
| Yeah, almost three hours. | ||
| All right, Brian Redband, tell everybody where you are. | ||
| How can everybody mock Tony Hinchcliffe? | ||
| They can contact him at Tony Hinchcliffe on Twitter. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| And give Jeremiah Watkins some love. | ||
| And we'll be doing his Stand Up on the Spot show next Tuesday in the Belly Room. | ||
| It's a fun show. | ||
| People make shit up. | ||
| Jeremiah's an awesome person. | ||
| And your show with him is on every Monday. | ||
| Every Monday. | ||
| And Jeremiah's going to host the next one. | ||
| And we're bringing Kill Tony to Houston February 1st and Dallas the 2nd. | ||
| It's a fun show. | ||
| Go out there, support. | ||
| Much respect. | ||
| Much love. | ||
| Red Band on Twitter and Instagram and all that good stuff. | ||
| And we'll be back really soon, like in a few minutes, with Jimmy Smith, formerly of Bellator. | ||
| He's here now. |
Export Selection