Steve-O and Joe Rogan debate stunt culture’s risks, from his MiG-29 near-space flight (50K+ feet) to lion-tiger chaos, with Jay Leno exposing staged zebra-suit antics. They critique late-night comedy’s decline into gimmicks like Colbert’s "cock holster" jab at Trump and dissect intersex science—Steve-O’s 2002 D.C. mix-up, Rogan’s medical pushback on Dr. Drew’s claims, and rare cases like double penises or persistent cloaca. UFC’s Cormier vs. Jones clash and McGregor’s unlikely Mayweather odds highlight sportsmanship vs. ego, while Rogan’s asteroid debate teases deeper conspiracy theories. [Automatically generated summary]
I did a flight with the F-A-18 with the Blue Angels once.
They took me up and they take you out.
You go down to San Diego and then you travel east, like through the desert.
It's weird.
I don't know which Air Force base is out there.
It's like real close to, I guess close to Arizona or maybe even in Arizona.
But we got to seven and a half G's.
We were doing these crazy things where you go like through these mountain ranges and you're only like 100, maybe 200 feet off the ground, really low to the ground, like turning and twisting and fucking bananas.
A lot of shit happened on that last Wild Boys trip, man.
We had this practice of like...
For the censors, you know, it's called standards and practices.
They'll be like, you know, they'll give back notes like, you can't, you know, show this.
And so we would film what we call red herrings, like just blatantly ridiculous shit that's never going to be allowed on TV. But then we'll be like, okay, we'll cut this out.
And so then we'll be able to keep some other shit.
And we came out, right, like, you know, I gotta go film.
And walking through the lobby, Knoxville is down there, having breakfast.
This hooker comes walking by Knoxville and she says that's not Steve-O.
That's cheapo I was never even that much into like hookers, but But but you know in looking back on I guess I really fucking kind of had sex with a bunch of hookers because I had this girlfriend and I work a program of recovery.
I gotta be honest and shit.
I had this girlfriend, she was an English chick, and she says, have you ever had sex with a prostitute?
I'm like, oh, fuck.
I never did until I was in England one time.
We did this gumball rally where you race cars with all the rich guys.
They're getting hookers and they got me one.
I told her the whole story about how...
I was like, can you give me a massage?
And she's giving me a back rub.
And this hooker says, this is one expensive back rub.
And I felt like she was making fun of me.
And I said, ah, fuck it.
And I put on some Motley Crue and put on a rubber and I humped her.
I told this story to my girlfriend.
She says, I said, okay.
Did you...
Was there any other ones?
And I'm like, ah, fuck.
I'm like, well...
In New Zealand, there was a massage parlor and it turned out that they just have sex with you.
It's a joke.
I felt like I was having sex with a prostitute, but she was a masseuse.
And the thing was, at that exact time, she arranged this trip to go to Cornwall.
It's this little surf town in England.
Because I collect pictures of different countries.
And I call it my surf passport.
And I'm like, I want to get a surfing photo so I can include England.
She says, I don't know why you're making a surf passport.
You should have a fucking hooker passport.
It's so funny, too.
Driving over here, I was thinking, man, I'm so nervous about going on Joe Rogan's podcast because how can I touch the last time?
It was so epic.
There's never been another interview that I've ever done that I've gotten more feedback.
People just being like, dude, I fucking heard that.
People are inspired, people who are struggling with substance abuse, and they're like, man, that helped me get sober.
Howard Stern like you name it any interview I've ever done in my life like it has This has been the one that I hear about the most and I get the most positive feedback Fucking grateful to you for that man.
I'm pretty good about that, but I should say I'm not going to get in my head and I'm not going to trip myself out, but I did want to come in hot, so I just fucking came out with the hooker stories.
That's one of those things where a lot of those guys, you know, especially like if you have a platform like Howard and you feel dissed by some guy who's got another platform, like, well, fuck this guy, time to go to war.
Because Howard's whole thing was about conflict.
Conflict, his ratings, he was the king of ratings.
No disrespect to them, but those five-minute things where you sit on the couch and you cut to the next thing, it's just a shitty way to get to know somebody.
Yeah, did you see the Colbert thing where he went off on Trump?
I couldn't fucking believe it.
I was watching and I was like, and I tweeted about this, that I don't think kids today have any idea how strange it is to watch a talk show host call the president's mouth a cock holster.
Well, what he said was that I thought, of all the things that I thought you were dumb about, the one thing that I thought you knew about was show business.
Okay, so now the president, and this is even weird, weirder, because now the president is responding to a guy who's essentially saying that he's a fucking troll.
I mean, Stephen Colbert, multi-millionaire, talk show host on a major network, took over the Letterman spot, is now admitting that he's essentially like a guy on Twitter that has...
All the stuff that Trump was saying about how they were going to take him off and they were going to...
The guy Corden who came after, they were going to put James Corden into Colbert's time slot.
I mean, all the reports I saw were that they were trying to get Colbert the fuck out and then all of a sudden he started slamming Trump and now he's like number one out of everybody in late night.
Yes, but I think of a lot of people, I look pretty fucking...
I look less different.
Well, thank you.
I look less different than other people.
Now, I get super sensitive about, like, you know, if I post a picture online, it's like, motherfucker's old, you know, like, you know, I like that shit effect.
Does it?
It effects.
Like, I wish it didn't, but it does.
I'm just fucking sensitive guys.
Motherfucker's old.
But now I got to...
Now I got a project that I'm working on where I'm digging up old-ass footage.
And I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, I don't look that much fucking different.
Dude, she was so hot when she was young, and now she's got that alcoholic face, where people don't just get older, but everything sort of balloons, and your cheeks balloon, and your chin balloons.
I watched a dude walk through my apartment and fucking pick up my bong and take a hit and blow out smoke and fucking then like put it down and the dude walked through the wall.
Because here's my whole thing, and I kind of still believe this to this day, is, you know, that our little three-dimensional experience is a very small part of what's going on in the universe, right?
Right.
There's dimensions, there's, you know, all frequencies, everything.
And that if you do enough drugs, the barriers between these different compartments of the universe become eroded somehow.
I started hearing voices.
And to an extent, I fucking believe, still, that that shit was real.
These spirits that were fucking talking to me, I'm hearing the voices.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine who sells weed about a very similar thing, where I was saying that I think that something happens when you smoke pot.
It's not just that you get high, but that the way you interface with the world changes, and then the world changes because of that.
Not the world changes like the world changes for you or for him, but the world that I'm experiencing is different.
But what I'm saying is that my feeling about the world is that when you change the way your brain works, which is essentially what you do when you get really high, and you change the way you think about the world, I think the world that you experience is different.
Like, I think the introspective aspect of it, one of the reasons why it comes up, it feels like to me, is because there's a bunch of shit about yourself that you don't like, but you don't address.
And so then it forces you, hey, in order to truly live in the moment, you have to be balanced.
You have to be like, I've looked at it all, and I understand I've made mistakes, and here's where I'm at.
But if you've never looked at yourself, if you've never looked at those mistakes, then you have like this backlog of shit you have to deal with.
But I feel like that morbid flogging of yourself comes from you, like the debt analogy is a good analogy, because if you're in like massive debt and you go to spend money, you're like, I don't even have any money, how am I spending this money?
Whereas if you're even and you go to spend the money, you're like, no big deal.
I'm just spending some money.
It's normal, right?
I think that when you don't have an accounting of who you are and what you've done, and especially I think the big one is your effect on other people.
You know, that's the one that comes up with me on mushrooms or on pot, especially on edibles.
It's like how I've interacted with other people.
And even if I thought it was justified, and maybe I was justified, when it comes up on pot, especially on edibles.
For me, at least, that's where I feel like the most accountable.
And I have to think about my behavior the most.
I always feel like, with the edible thing, it always feels like, could I have done better?
Instead of just being like, was I okay?
Like, yeah, that guy was being a dick to you.
Yeah, fuck him.
It's never that.
It's always like...
Maybe I could have caught on earlier to how he was feeling and reassessed how I was communicating with him, and instead of being defensive or aggressive, maybe I could have handled it better.
He's such a good guy, and he's always worried that he's not a good guy, and he's always coming down on himself.
We'll talk about this a little bit.
Al Madrigal, I'll set this up so he doesn't have to, so he doesn't have to be uncomfortable.
Al Madrigal when he was here was talking about he gets mad at guys like Steve-O because Steve-O is a guy who kind of came to stand up after he did other things.
And Al's like, I don't want the thing that is like what I feel is like my chosen thing in life, the most amazing thing in life to me, to be something that someone comes to as a last resort.
But Al even thinks it's stupid that he thinks like that.
So when he said it, Steve-O was kind of bummed out, so Steve-O texted me about it, and Steve-O and I talked.
We were supposed to do a podcast anyway, so there was this question of whether or not we should talk about it when it came to the actual show itself.
But my feeling on all that stuff is that whoever does stand-up does stand-up.
It's bullshit.
I was just explaining that you're a great guy in the whole Al Magical thing without you having to be in the room and feel uncomfortable.
Ah, whatever.
But...
But I think that anybody, like that judgment thing of like, this is not a stand-up, you're not a stand-up, he's not a stand-up.
I was just really wasted, and I had this shady manager, and he was really wasted too, and he was talking to this person who appeared to be a hot chick, right?
Appeared to be a hot chick, and I was like, hmm, this is...
And so I kind of started talking to this person who appeared to be a hot chick and wooed the person away from the shady manager.
And I was feeling really good about it, you know?
Turns out, in hindsight, that had we not been so intoxicated, it was rather evident.
But we were really intoxicated, so we were walking away from the 930 Club.
If that was it, it was Safari or 930, one of the two.
I don't think they have Safari anymore.
But walking down the street, going to the next place, Someone pulls me aside, you know, a friend pulls me aside and says, hey, just want you to know that person you're talking to, was it like not a girl, but it wasn't, like, they didn't see it, say, that person is a hermaphrodite, was what it was described as a hermaphrodite, meaning, you know, like both women and...
And they described that the person had had a surgical operation to remove the male parts.
And I was just like, oh, whatever, I don't care, you know.
You know, I was just like, oh, whatever, you know, wound up.
I wrote about this in my book.
Like, I really had this sense, you know, I came back to the hotel and...
And the sense that I got, and this is a pretty fucking outrageous take on it, was that here was this person who was kind of, I don't know, damage is a mean word, but this person wanted to be loved, wanted to be accepted.
There was some kind of thing, and I wanted this person to feel loved.
And that was kind of where the, I think that was part of what was going on.
I was like, hey, I'm going to play ball with this person, and we're going to snuggle all night.
Okay, right.
And so, in the course of the evening, there was oral sex.
And a while later, this is where it gets really crazy, I was doing that show, Dr. Drew's Loveline show, and talked to Dr. Drew.
Dr. Drew says, you know, I'm paraphrasing, he says, Steve-o, there's no such thing as a hermaphrodite.
But Dr. Drew's been wrong about pot, and he's not a pot smoker.
I love Dr. Drew almost more than anybody, but the first chink in his armor happened when I asked him, Dr. Drew, why is jerking off so much more pleasurable if you tickle your balls while you're doing it?
And that's dangerous because you're doing it on television.
You're talking about someone who's running for president.
Look, he's right in some ways.
She blacked out, hit her head, had brain trauma that Bill Clinton talked about publicly.
Bill Clinton talked about how she was in recovery for six months from brain trauma, from having a seizure, falling down, and smashing her head off the ground.
When you're 67 years old, or however old she was when that happened, that's really dangerous.
I know a lot about head trauma.
I've researched a lot about head trauma.
I've experienced a bunch of myself, as I'm sure you have.
I know you did from Tim Kennedy.
You're fucking special.
I talked to you about it afterwards.
I'm like, dude, you can't let somebody do that to you.
Yeah, but this, I mean, really, you need medical science to figure out, like, they have to figure out, I mean, there has to be, like, some pretty legitimate studies, and those studies take a long time, because you have to follow people with Alzheimer's, you gotta try one way with one group, and another way with another group, and see, like, what the, you know, which group has more progress, but the bottom line is, Anytime you're getting hit in the head, it's fucking bad.
And I'm only thinking of times when I got hit in the head hard enough that I actually lost time, you know, where like a time traveled because I blacked out.
Like, I got in the ring with the fucking Monday Night Raw, the wrestling.
This was so fucking terrible.
It was so bad because here's the thing.
I was never a fucking wrestling fan.
I never got into it.
I just didn't understand it.
And so when we got in the fucking ring to promote it, we kind of walked through what the moves were going to be.
You know, with this wrestler who's since passed away.
His name is Umaga.
This fucking jet guy.
They called him the Samoan Bulldozer.
And, uh, so we walked kind of through what it was, and, like, I'm gonna do a backflip off the top rope, and he was gonna do this, and we're gonna knock me over, you know?
And it was pretty incredible how they just very loosely, like, walked through it.
Choreographed it, right.
Very loosely choreographed.
But we know what the moves are, and we know what's supposed to be the final move.
What I did not know And this proved to be really bad, is that I did not know that the match is not fucking over until you actually play dead.
There was some fucking pretty major hit, like, to my head or to my chest, whatever it was, I can't remember, but the final hit, like, when we were doing it live, he was hitting so much fucking harder.
Testosterone being low is a big issue with football players, ex-fighters.
Your pituitary gland is very sensitive, and that's one of the things that happens to people literally just from jet skiing, like I was saying.
Skiing in general, like jumping, ski jumps and stuff like that, even without even getting hit in the head, just anything that causes your head to shake around a lot.
Like, I'm sure headbanging, like the guys from ACDC. I went to the fucking chiropractor.
I've been to the chiropractors, and, you know, I'll go to the chiropractor, and they're familiar with jackass and the shit I've done.
And they'll take my x-ray to look at my spine, and they're like, dude, I don't understand it.
You're like fucking Keith Richards.
You're in so much better shape than I expected you would be in, except for in my neck, where I've got the, what do they call it, the callus, or not callus, I don't know, some kind of fucking buildup.
Go to this fucking physician to the stars, and she's shining a light down my throat, and she says, hmm, The opening at the back of your throat is very narrow.
Do you ever find that you sleep a full night's sleep, but you wake up and you're still tired?
I was like, Jesus Christ, that's exactly fucking me.
Yeah, the mouthpiece, fortunately for you, it fits on the bottom.
Oh, okay.
It fits only on the bottom, and what it does is it's a tongue depressor, and it presses down your tongue, keeps your tongue from sliding back and covering your air hole.
I tried it for a while, and I was able to fall asleep, but then about an hour or two into it, the fucking thing just blowing me away and wakes me up, and I just couldn't fucking do it.
Avocados is interesting because it's a combination of saturated fat and unsaturated fat.
And most people assume that saturated fat is bad for you, but it's not.
A lot of that came out of the sugar industry that your fucking dad was probably a part of.
The sugar industry paid off, and this was from the New York Times and a bunch of really reputable newspapers reported on this really recently.
The sugar industry paid off scientists to lie about the effects of saturated fats to cover up the effects of sugar.
It's really sad because so many people to this day run around worrying about saturated fat and not worrying about sugar because they're worried about saturated fat in their diet and that's what made people switch over to shit like margarine, which is terrible for you.
They don't even recommend margarine anymore.
That's how trans fats got introduced into people's diets.
Dude, they're trying to make them illegal, and they've made them illegal in America, but they still have another year or so where you're allowed to sell it, which is hilarious.
They give these companies an extra year or two to get rid of all the bullshit that they made so that they can still fuck people over for 12 months and make money.
They knew that that stuff was bad for you decades ago, and they've been like, la, la, la, la, not listening.
I was 13. And so I go fucking running to my room, right?
Right away, I'm thinking, I know all the guys, and I know their real names, like Vince Neil.
is vincent wharton right like i know all their names and i'm like i'm gonna fucking check into the the hotel as like frank carlton ferrano right that's nikki six they're not gonna use their real names and i was like they're gonna check into the hotel under the name of their manager right and i just guess you just knew it go right into my room and i fucking check on my little cassette album sleeves I check everyone, it says Doc McGee, which is their manager at Doc McGee.
So I'm like, that's the fucking one.
I go run into the phone book, and I fucking open it up to hotel, like the Yellow Pages.
And I just straight start calling every fucking hotel in the Yellow Pages.
And when the hotel answers, I'm like, will you please put me through to Mr. Doc McGee's room?
The show was a Sunday, so it's a Saturday.
My dad's watching college football.
I'm sitting there on the phone calling every hotel in Toronto, just going down the list.
Not even calling the ones with the ads.
Literally just sticking to the list so I don't miss one.
My mom's pissed because there was no call waiting.
She's like, you're tying up the house phone.
My dad, all my dad ever wanted was for me to show initiative and to be, like, motivated for something, you know?
And so my dad's, like, super stoked.
I'm on fire.
I'm telling my mom, Mom, I'm calling Motley Crue, fucking...
And my dad, like, calls off my mom, you know?
Like, honey, like, let him do his thing.
And I fucking sat there for probably two or three hours just calling hotels.
And I get...
They put me through to this room.
There was one, like, false alarm, you know?
But then the second McGeeves room that I got through to, the guy picks up the phone and, uh...
I say, hello, is that Doc McGee?
And he says, no, this is Doc's brother, Scott.
And I'm like, as in Motley Crue?
And he says, how did you get this number?
And I told him, I just called every fucking hotel on the Yellow Pages.
Yeah, and you know, I'm standing next to these guys, and I'm like, I don't have fucking shit to talk to them about, but the fact that I was standing next to those guys, and I was like, you know what?
I'm here backstage with my fucking heroes, and it's because I fucking decided so, you know?
Like, there's something about that that gave me this...
This mentality.
And then you see the top left right there?
Check it out.
All these years later, when they announced that they were back together and going on their Carnival of Sins tour, Tommy Lee asked me to do something fucked up and introduce them, dude.
It really made me into a monster in some regard because, like, I think that at that young age, it's like, you know, I really can fucking, you know, if you just...
And I've always said, like, it doesn't matter what people want.
It just matters how bad they really fucking want it.
And now, like with fucking stand-up, and I really want to, you brought up Allomagic, I'm only going to say this quickly, and I want to be careful not to lynch the guy, because, you know, I don't want everyone to say, oh, fuck that guy.
Yeah, well technically it's been almost 11 years since the first time I ever tried it.
Which was at the Laugh Factory when Skylar Stone in 2006 asked me to do a stunt at the Laugh Factory.
Because he's hosting a show and he wants to, you know.
So I'm like, yeah, I'll do a fucking stunt.
Like, whatever.
And I showed up.
I had no game plan when I walked in.
Just as I said, I can't.
There's nothing fucking crazier than me getting on stage trying to make people laugh.
That's the stunt.
I was terrified.
And so I tried it that night.
But I never got, like, really hardcore, like, in earnest until 2000. Sorry, 2010. Now, 2012, 2013, I'm at a point where I'm super comfortable in my 45 minutes, right?
Like, whatever my hour is at that point.
Like, I'm just really comfortable in it.
And I'm starting to feel, like, stale.
Because I'm fucking going through the motions and the shit.
Like, you know what that's like, right?
You get to a point where you're just like, fuck, I'm dying because I'm not, you know...
You know, like I was trying some new material and thanks for, you know, and I diligently recorded the fucking set to play it back and hear where the laughs were.
You know like I wrote my own shit I went there and I fucking did new shit and I worked it out and I recorded it and You know that's how you do it, right?
Well when I get off the stage And I'm thrilled because the fucking people left, you know, and I sit in the crowd I sit in the crowd the host brings up the next comic the next comic is all magical He walks out he goes Oh my God, what did we just see?
We just saw Steve-O working on new material.
I just...
And he's just like, I just can't take it anymore.
Like, I just...
I just can't believe that, you know, that...
This thing that I consider my calling in life, stand-up comedy, that I care about it so much, and now we have Steve-O and Dustin Diamond out here doing this thing.
He's like, I can't believe that these people are taking something that's so sacred to me and just using it as their last resort.
And I'm sitting right there watching him say this shit.
I'm like, what the fuck?
You know?
Like, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
It was such a blatant attack from the stage, you know?
And I'm like, it's not fucking right, because A, motherfuckers were laughing, you know?
I played it back.
I got in the car right after that.
I sat there and watched it.
I couldn't even believe it.
And then there was a lady that was talking at her table, and he just went in on her beyond what was like, hey, be quiet.
I was starting in with the personal, whatever.
I don't even care.
But what I perceived was that here's a guy who's claiming that his whole passion is stand-up comedy, but his whole attack on me and then berating the woman, there weren't any jokes.
It was almost like he just forewent the act of performing comedy to just kind of be mean to me.
And I think that what particularly fucking got me hot about that was that the time that he chose to attack me was when I was really working the craft of fucking comedy, writing my own material, going out there, getting outside of my comfort zone.
Well, he really does care about stand-up comedy, but I think because of that, caring, sometimes it blinds you, you know?
And I'm very sensitive to it because I experienced it a lot when I was first starting out, where people didn't think that I fit into the mold of what they thought a stand-up should be.
I know he's a polarizing figure, but when I got into stand-up in earnest, because back in 2006, I was like, man, I really like this, you know?
I tried it.
I got on stage for a few minutes that first night, and the sense I got was that people were excited to see me.
They were rooting for me.
They wanted me to do well.
For some reason, I can be endearing to people and they're rooting for me.
And I got a few laughs, you know?
I made a couple of fucking gay jokes, whatever.
And before I left the Laugh Factor that night, I scheduled my return.
And before I came back, I wrote a set.
And I came back and it went reasonably well and I was thrilled.
Then I got overconfident.
I was like, oh, I'm just good at stand-up.
So I fucking come back again and don't even, I don't try to work on the fucking act I had written.
I'm like, no, I'm going to do fucking, I'm just going to go up and wing it.
And I bombed and it hurt, you know, it hurt.
And then I bombed again and then I was like scared to get back to it.
And I was out of control with drugs, so like I was really, it wasn't the time.
Now, once I got sober in rehab, then Going to bars, going to nightclubs, that's not on the table anymore.
You gotta ask yourself, do you have a reason to go there?
And I didn't have any fucking reason.
But I had every reason to go to a comedy club, so that became my go-to thing at night.
If I'm going out with a girl, it's like a thing.
I got a reason to be there, and I go to the comedy club.
And so I'm sitting in the comedy club in my early sobriety, and we're looking at the stage, thinking, motherfucker, I should be on that stage.
I should be on that stage, but I was, like, scared, you know?
And then, as the press machine was, it wasn't even, like, the first thing I even did ostensibly to promote Jackass 3D was this young Hollywood interview, and they said, oh, Dane Cook's in there.
Just go barge into his interview.
It'll be great.
So I walk into Dane Cook's interview, and, uh, I meet him and I'm like, hey dude, I've dabbled in stand-up and I want to get serious about it.
I want to really dive in.
And fucking to his credit, man, he said, cool.
He said, let's do it.
I'll give you my number.
We'll get you on stage at the improv in a week.
And he gave me his number and I fucking wrote and I wrote.
I wrote that whole fucking week.
And I went and I fucking practiced at that shitty little open mic Marty's.
It's hilarious.
You wouldn't even know about it.
Where's Marty's?
It's on Sunset Boulevard, right by Rock and Roll Ralphs.
It's a hilarious little fucking hole in the wall, open mic.
And I went, you know, sure enough, I met Dane Cook at the improv.
It was like two comics after Sarah Silverman, and then I go on, then Dane goes on.
And right after Dane's set, he sat down with me and fucking gave me notes.
The first thing he said was, I'm not sending you back to the drawing board.
Which was like his way of saying that the material I did, like, wasn't, like, don't rewrite.
Like, it's good.
He's just worried about your delivery and your timing.
And from there, I went to the fucking two nights later.
I'm with the Laugh Factor.
Dane's there.
It was just like, he took me under his wing, you know?
Like, just, like, with regularity.
He'd go, and I'd go, and he'd go, or the other way around, and he'd sit me down and give me notes.
That would be really funny, but I got it in my head, I'm going to swallow a condom, but then I was like, okay, cool, when I'm on tour in Europe, I'll fucking put weed in the condom, tie it in a knot, and it'll be like a skit where I film it's an international drug smuggler skit.
I'll do it in one country, and I'll fly it to the other country and shit it out.
And I did it.
It was a fucking saga.
I actually have a fucking epic...
There's a huge tentpole bit in my stand-up right now about that whole...
I got arrested for international drug smuggling in Sweden.
I'm sure it probably is, but what I'm so excited about my next comedy special is that so many of the stories I tell in my stand-up are things that happened on camera originally.
So I'm editing into the fucking actual stand-up Kind of like you do with the podcast, like supporting archival footage, which just demonstrates that everything is not only truthful, it's not even embellished.
Then I realized, okay, because filming Wild Boys, I would freak the fuck out whenever we went to the Far East, because you know you're not going to be able to find weed, and that's not okay.
I went to anywhere where I wasn't confident I would be able to get weed.
I sat there with my, before going to the airport, I sat there with my fucking weed grinder and just grind it up like a ton and then fucking compacted it so, you know, I broke the buds off the stems, you know?
And then I would fill up I'd put about like an eighth in each condom, whatever, nice and small, pack it up, and I would swallow like six of them, you know?
Well, there's no mistaking the fact that somehow or another that what she was doing with her life, whether or not you could say that it was the drugs or the state of mind that she was in when she was taking the drugs, she produced some fucking amazing music, man.
He said he was flying on a private jet and someone was actually on a commercial flight with him and took a picture of him because they saw it on Instagram.
Well, the Bow Wow thing is indicative of an entire culture that's just all about showing off your flashy shit and showing that, you know, we're ballin' here, we're ballin'.
Right, and I was watching a fucking documentary, a Vice documentary on YouTube about Bay Area hip-hop, and the whole thing is they're talking about how it's such a fucking travesty that all the tech money came in and the area got gentrified, and the whole thing is they're like, Our land got gentrified and the rap artists talk about it, but they're like, and I got millions.
It doesn't jive.
You can't be complaining about gentrification and talking about...
Yeah, San Francisco is a weird place now, because the money that you have to spend to buy a house there is so crazy that it doesn't even make sense anymore.
Yeah, it was the end of 2015 and then it aired in March of 2016. Yeah, because I remember you getting in touch with me saying you need someone to choke you out in Texas.
Vagina and urethra coverage converge into one nauseating funnel-like drainage hole located somewhere in the taint area between the clitoris and the buttocks.
Poop, pee, and vaginal sludge mingle freely.
Corrective surgery is costly, complicated, and risky.
Maybe you donate one to a friend with a little dick.
They do that now.
They're doing dick replacement surgeries.
If someone had an accident or something happened to their dick, they give them a penile replacement where someone will die and they'll take his dick and sew it onto you and it works.
I'll never forget, and I didn't even know this was real until somebody explained to me on the show that this actually happened, but Ozzy Osbourne's wife was on some talk show that she was doing for a while, and she was joking around about some woman who cut her husband's dick off, then threw it in a garbage disposal.
And they were laughing about it.
I'm just laughing, thinking about his willy spinning around inside that garbage pillow.
And I went, wow!
What double standards!
What crazy double standards!
Because could you imagine a group of men sitting around laughing about a guy cutting off a chick's pussy and throwing it in a garbage disposal?
I can't imagine a scenario where you would not only laugh about that, but laugh about it on television and think it's okay.
But somehow or another it was okay for her to laugh about a guy losing his dick and having it chopped off and thrown into a fucking garbage disposal.
I'm kind of close to this because sometimes people want to make a female version of Jackass where girls do terrible shit and hurt themselves on purpose.
And that's never going to work.
And it boils down to a hormonal thing because...
Men, with testosterone, the idea is that we're providers and we're supposed to be macho and prove that we're tough, and so it becomes funny to see a guy fail and get hurt.
I'm just saying it's weird that they thought it was okay to laugh about.
It's not, I mean, it's horrific that people do horrific things to each other.
It's no more horrific that a woman does it to a man than a man does it to a woman, and people have done horrible shit to women forever, but it's never funny.
But I guess it's also because of what you're saying.
It's like there's something funny about a man getting fucked up.
A lot of people feel like that about watching women fighting.
There's people that I know that are super uncomfortable with watching a Ioana Jacek fight because she beats the fuck out of chicks and bashes her face in and cuts them up.
I really fucking love that shit, and I think it's incredible how not only did women be, you know, I mean, Dana White said forever that there will never be women, and then now not only are there women, but they're like the headliners.
This past weekend, it was a co-main event, Joanna Janjacek, and it was a real good fight, because the woman she was fighting was just tough as fuck, and she took a serious beating, but there's a fight that she did, Joanna Janjacek, against, see if you pull up the highlights, Janjacek versus Jessica Panay.
Try spelling her name.
Good luck.
I don't even know how to spell it.
It's so hard to spell her name that people just call her Yolanda Champion.
They don't even try with her last name because it's like a J and then a Z and then a fucking E and then some letters that don't even exist in the English language.
But she beat this girl up so bad that it was fucking disturbing.
She was, before she ever got into MMA, she was one of the best strikers on the planet.
And if you go like deep into the fight, she just pecks her apart for the first couple of rounds and then by the time you're deep in the round, she's just a mask of blood.
And Joanna is just beating the fuck out of her and smashing her in the face with elbows and cutting her up.
And then the final barrage when they stop the fight, you see blood pouring out of her nose.
It's coming out.
And the girl, Jessica Panay, I'll do credit to her.
That girl is tough as fuck.
Look at this.
She is a mask of blood and swelling.
And Yon Jacek is just a fucking demon.
She's just kicking at her and smashing her in the face.
Well, I think that mentality that Rhonda has, she's mercenary in there.
And it wasn't over when it was over to her.
For her, it wasn't a competition.
It was life.
It was life or death.
I don't know, man.
I mean, that same thing is probably why she's not fighting anymore.
Her animosity and her emotions were so riding on that thing.
And then when she lost, and then when she lost again in a devastating fashion, that's also the reason why there was so much backlash.
Whereas someone who's really loved, like Randy Couture, Randy Couture would lose a fight, and no one talked, I mean, I'm sure someone talked trash about him, but no one's opinion of him differed when he lost, because he's such a good guy.
And because when he won, you know, after the fight, he would always pick the guy up and shake their hand and hug them, and he was always a gentleman.
When people have that sort of a mentality...
Here's a perfect example.
This past weekend, Dustin Poirier and Eddie Alvarez had a fight, and the fight was stopped.
Because of an illegal blow that Eddie Alvarez accidentally landed on Dustin Poirier, and the crowd was booing Eddie Alvarez, and Dustin Poirier yelled at the crowd, don't boo this man.
Like, we were in a fight, and he's not a dirty fighter, and he made a mistake.
First of all, Eddie Alvarez's eye was closed, he could barely see, he was completely on queer street, he had been almost knocked unconscious, and he hit this dude in the clinch with a couple of knees, and the referee didn't stop him, and he thought they were legal.
You know, he's in the chaos of a crazy cage fight, but to have those two dudes after the fight, both are bloody and battered, both of them are just like exhausted from a war, right?
And I'm interviewing the both of them side by side, and to have Dustin Poirier step in to defend Eddie Alvarez, who just need him illegally in the face, telling the crowd, don't boo this man.
Like, he was literally upset.
And then they shook hands.
There's something beautiful about that.
And I think people like the animosity, but they also really like the fact when the animosity is squashed after the fight and people hug it out.
But, yeah, my thoughts are that we should, I mean, if you like, like, everybody gets into comedy because they love it, right?
That's why you get into it.
You want, you want to watch, you know, you see a guy like, you know, Dice Clay or Kinison or Pryor or whoever it is that inspired you, and you see them, Kevin Hart, you know, name your person.
You see them and you want to be like, wow, that was awesome.
I want to see that guy again.
You know, and you want to go see comedy.
And that's why I got into it.
To get into it and then all of a sudden to want to be the only one who's funny is crazy to me.
It doesn't even make any sense.
And to not like the other comedians, it's just like you're robbing yourself of inspiration.
But there's a lot of comics like that.
They won't watch the other comedians.
They don't want to see them.
And when the comics are doing good, they get upset.
Almost like the focus of it is, we're going to spotlight a number of these personalities from the UFC and really show just how fucking tragic it is.
They put so much into it and then they have their careers for whatever it's worth and then when it's all said and done, they just got nothing to fucking show for it.
Well, you can't think that you're going to have something to show for it.
That's the thing.
If you're lucky and you become a Conor McGregor, who's like one in a million, or you become, you know, a George St. Pierre who retires as the champion, you're really, really unusual.
But for everyone else, you have to do it because you love doing it.
And if you do it because you love doing it and that's what you want to do, then you should do it.
And you will bank a lot of money if you're successful.
But there's this thing that people have where they see a guy like Floyd Mayweather and they say, well, hey...
Boxers make millions of dollars.
Look, Floyd Mayweather made hundreds of millions of dollars.
No, no, no, no, no.
Floyd Mayweather makes hundreds of millions of dollars, not boxers.
Like, Gernati Golovkin, who's one of the best boxers in the world, he can't even sell 200,000 pay-per-views.
Like, his last pay-per-view buy, I think, was like 150,000, which is insanely low, to the point where, like, it's very difficult for promoters to even get behind him unless he's fighting someone like Canelo Alvarez, which is his next fight.
Well, he'll make some money in that fight, but guarantee you he ain't making very good money, like with 150,000 pay-per-views, and he's a multiple-time world champion, and like a fantastic amateur fighter, and one of the best in the world.
It's about being a star, and a promoter is not responsible to give a fighter a bunch of money if they're not earning a bunch of money.
It's a business, and the business is people want to pay to see you.
Why do they want to see you?
Do they want to see you because you trash talk?
Or do they want to see you because you're Anderson Silva and you fight like you're in The Matrix?
Or do they want to see you because you're Ronda Rousey and you're the first ever woman ass kicker that we've ever seen like this?
Well, whatever reason it is that they want to see you, that reason is why you can make a shit ton of money.
It's not that you just deserve a shit ton of money because it's hard to do.
Right, of course.
But a lot of people get that wrong in their head.
They get that wrong in their head.
Well, it's show business, but it's also athletics.
Do you think that Conor McGregor is doing a disservice to himself by putting so much attention on, like just putting his whole UFC career on hold for this Mayweather thing?
The way UFC works is different and often criticized, and I think rightly so, is that you have a win money and a show money.
So, say if you were going to fight Jamie and they set it up where you fight, you make $50,000 to show and then another $50,000 if you win.
A lot of people have a real hard time with that.
And I think they should, because you're doing your best.
You're giving your best performance, regardless of whether or not you win.
No one's going to fight harder, I don't think, at least, to get that win bonus.
These guys are trying to win.
They're fucking gladiators.
I think you should have a purse, and that should be what you get paid, and you fight your best.
And that's what you get paid.
This idea that double is going to come your way if you get the judges' nod.
Meanwhile, the judges get shit wrong all the time.
Future, like, have $50,000 or $100,000, or who knows what the number is, on the line due to someone else's interpretation of it, or you can get injured and wind up losing, or anything can happen.
Like, I think that's kind of fucked up.
The thing about the Conor McGregor-Floyd Mayweather fight...
Because you can play a tennis match every weekend.
Try fighting every weekend.
You'd be dead in a month.
Like here it is.
U.S. President, yeah, they agreed to sign a deal with Floyd Mayweather.
That doesn't mean anything.
Because Floyd Mayweather hasn't agreed to it.
The deal hasn't been negotiated.
Conor has agreed.
So that's what that means.
But here's the deal.
Let's be honest about this as much as possible.
This is a boxing match between Conor McGregor, a guy who's never had a real professional boxing match, who's a really good amateur boxer in Ireland, who's a real multiple-division world champion combat sports fighter, no doubt about that, and a striker, no doubt about that, but he's fighting one of the best boxers, if not the best boxer ever.
Most likely, this is not going to work out well for him, if you had to guess.
That's my honest take on it.
The only way it could work out well is if Floyd takes him lightly, Conor clips him, Conor mugs him, Conor does some old school Bernard Hopkins shit, just ties him up, roughs him up inside the clinch, hits him with some real hard shots, or does something fucked up to him.
I mean, who knows?
Headbuts him.
I mean, that's what Victor Ortiz tried to do to him.
And he can knock you out, like he knocked out Victor Ortiz, but he knocked out Victor Ortiz because he's just standing in front of him.
He knocked out Ricky Hatton, who was a smaller fighter, but he doesn't knock out most guys.
He stuns them, he sticks them with some hard shots, but Conor's got a really good chin and he's a much bigger guy.
So the odds are, even if Conor gets worked, he's just going to get outboxed for 12 rounds and get embarrassed and just whiff at a bunch of punches and Floyd's not going to be anywhere near him.
Or, he can catch him.
I mean, it is possible that he can catch him, but it's not likely.
Like, the odds are going to be huge in Floyd Mayweather's favor.
If I had a guess, it's going to be like 20 to 1 or something crazy like that.
I'm not an odds maker.
But I do know movement, and I know boxing, and there's just a big difference between what a guy like Floyd Mayweather can do and a guy like Conor can do when it comes to the actual boxing skills.
But there's also another factor, too, that Conor has been fighting with small gloves, and he's going to be fighting with larger gloves.
What size gloves do they agree on for the fight?
If Floyd's smart, he's going to make him fight with 10-ounce gloves, you know, because probably Conor will want to wear 8. I don't know what weight class they have the cutoff in.
Like, lighter weight classes, they use 8-ounce gloves, and heavier, they use 10-ounce gloves.
That was a stipulation in the Marvin Hagler or Sugar Ray Leonard fight.
Sugar Ray Leonard wanted the bigger gloves, wanted heavier gloves because he's fighting a big, heavy puncher like Hagler.
So they might make some sort of a decision to go with larger gloves.
But Floyd's a fucking 49-0, multiple-division world boxing champion, and Conor has never had a professional boxing fight.
That's really what it is.
It's interesting.
I mean, I want to see it.
Don't make no mistake about it.
When the fucking first bell rings, I'll have my popcorn ready, bro.
I think whoever does commentary on that is going to be probably boxing people.
It's like if you had Max Kellerman and Jim Lampley doing commentary on Floyd Mayweather fighting Conor McGregor in an MMA fight, I think that would be an embarrassment.
That would be ridiculous.
Just as ridiculous as it would be for me to do commentary on Conor fighting Floyd in a boxing match.
Unless they wanted to have a combination of an MMA judge or an MMA commentator and a boxing commentator.
Maybe.
Perhaps.
I would do it with Max Kellerman.
I'm a big fan of that guy.
I like that guy a lot.
I think that would be kind of interesting.
But most likely I'll be at home watching it.
I'd like to see it live, maybe.
Maybe sit ringside.
Maybe kind of interesting to see that.
It's going to be a crazy interesting experience to see what Conor can do.
And I know he's been working almost exclusively on his boxing for months and months and months in preparation for this.
Here's the thing, that motherfucker can put you into orbit with one punch.
That's a fact.
You know, like, if you look at this past weekend, it's a perfect example when I said about Eddie Alvarez and Dustin Poirier having this crazy war.
Conor murked both of those guys with one punch.
With, I mean, with Eddie, he softened him up with a few punches before he murked him, but he had him on Queer Street with one punch, and he murked Dustin Poirier with one punch.
I mean, he's just, he hits Fucking hard.
This is this guy, Farras Ahab, he's a very famous MMA coach, and he said it best.
He said, Connor has a touch of death.
Like, he just...
He just fucking...
He just blaps dudes and zaps them with ridiculous speed and accuracy.
And when he does, you're fucksville.
The question is whether or not he's going to be able to do that to Floyd motherfucking Mayweather.
And most likely, Floyd's going to be nowhere near him when those punches come flying.
I mean, he's a wizard.
You ever watch, like, Floyd May with a defensive highlight reel?
No, him just moving away from punches, bending at the hips.
He's not a runner.
See, people think that Floyd's a runner.
Floyd doesn't run.
He's not, like, running away from guys.
He stands right in front of dudes.
He stands right in front of dudes and maybe backs up slightly or moves to the side.
But he's just so knowledgeable when it comes to boxing.
He has such a...
Deep understanding of where to be at the right time and where the punches can come from.
The left comes from here, that means the right's coming this way, and he's nowhere near that.
He's over here, and that means after the right, look at, like, when you stand in front of him, when you watch him, the way he's able to, like, slide out of the way of shit, I mean, dudes just don't fucking hit him very often.
He's been hit least or less than any world champion that's had 49 fights.
I would say that he probably has the most successful defensive career in the history of boxing.
I mean, he's literally been tagged hard maybe five, six times in his entire career.
And he stands in front of some of the best fighters in the world, like Canelo Alvarez.
I mean, Canelo was younger then.
It was a few years ago, and Canelo wasn't as good as he is now.
But he just stands right in front of guys and pops them in the face and just understands how to move.
Like, that kind of shit.
Like, when you're watching this highlight reel, you're watching a master.
Like, young fighters...
They should watch his defensive movements and abilities, I think, almost above all others, except now this new guy, Vasily Lomachenko, who I think rivals anybody that's ever lived in terms of his movement, his ability to move, and his positioning and footwork.
I think he's as good as it's ever been.
But, you know, he has only got like nine professional fights or something like that.
He just hasn't really...
Look, look at this.
Oscar De La Hoya standing right in front of him and he can't fucking hit him.
He's throwing all these punches.
Look at that.
Juan Manuel Marquez, he pops him and just, whoop, slides right out of the way.
Sorry, not here.
And unbelievable work ethic.
Like Floyd Mayweather will go to a club, go to a nightclub in Vegas, hang out, drink water, hang out with everybody, get all the accolades.
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Ladies and gentlemen, Floyd, Bobby, Mayweather's in the house!
And then go to the gym 3 o'clock in the morning and do fucking 15 rounds in the heavy bag.
He's an animal.
I mean, his work ethic and his mind and his determination and focus.
And I guarantee you, man, if he's getting ready for Floyd Mayweather or is getting ready for Conor McGregor, he's going to be in tip-top shape again, man.
The show business aspect of it is having people...
He used to be Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather.
That's what they used to call him.
But he wasn't really making any money.
You know, he became rich when he became Floyd Money Mayweather, when he started talking and all this shit, and then people wanted him to get his ass kicked.
And he wasn't getting his ass kicked.
Like, people are paying to see him not necessarily because they like him.
They're paying to see him because they want to see him get fucked up because he's a huge star.
And he became a huge star by fucking with people, talking a lot of shit, talking about how great he is, showing all of his watches and all of his jewelry.
He's got this crazy house in Vegas.
It's really the controversy, like domestic violence.
Dude went to jail for beating up girls.
There's a lot of controversy involved in him.
And that's one of the reasons why people wanted to see him fight.
They wanted to see him lose.
Uh-huh.
He didn't lose.
He went all the way to the bank.
I mean, he tied Rocky Marciano's record for having the most successful fights ever.
49-0 as a champion.
That's unheard of.
Unheard of.
And Rocky Marciano's record is a little bullshit.
Because Rocky Marciano, Italians right now are going crazy.
And just this Jon Jones, that was so interesting, that press conference where Jon Jones is talking all positive, like, no, I want to show that you can get back on your feet, and this, and then Cormier says, wait, hold on a second, backstage you told me I'm the biggest pussy you ever saw.
And then they, that was fascinating the way that played out.
Well, not only that, but he's fighting a guy who was consensus top two or three pound-for-pound fighter in the world in Dominic Cruz, and he still lit him up.
I mean, if he thought he could have finished him, he would have tried to finish him.
He realized that Dom was hurt and stunned.
You want to humiliate him.
He wanted to fuck with his head.
Because Dominic Cruz's whole game, a big part of it was getting inside your head.
But he fucked with the wrong guy.
Because Cody grew up getting fucked with.
So you start fucking with him.
He's like, oh, I'm home here.
I like fucking with people.
Come on, fuck with me.
I'll fuck with you.
If you want to be...
Like, reasonable and respectful.
He'll be respectful.
Cody will be respectful.
But if you want to talk shit to him, oh, he's a black belt in talking shit.
So it's like Dominic Cruz just kind of bit off more than he could chew when it came to the shit-talking and really fired Cody up.
So when Cody dropped him and then started posing him, like, then Dominic has to kind of get it back, and he couldn't get it back, so he got kind of a little bit out of his, you know, his comfort level.
It's a fascinating aspect of fighting, the trash-talking and the mental warfare.
When I was a kid at the American School in London, like in eighth grade, we went on a field trip to Egypt.
And they told us, they said, don't fucking drink the water.
Even if you order a soda, don't let them give you ice cubes to pour because you'll get so sick from the water.
And we took it seriously.
But then we were eating outside this restaurant on the River Nile.
Here's this Egyptian dude and fucking watched him dunk a toothbrush in the River Nile.
He's sitting there brushing his teeth.
And I was thinking, well, if the fucking tap water is so bad, then what's the River Nile?
It's got to be insane.
But I remember when I was 13 and I thought, well, fuck, if that guy went to America, if that guy went to England, the toothbrush dude, he'd probably get sick drinking the water...
Where I live.
You know?
I mean, I don't know.
It's like whatever you're exposed to.
This guy's built up his immune system.
He can do that.
And I remember thinking, probably the best thing you could do would be to travel the whole world and drink fucking tap water like crazy everywhere you go.
That'd be the way to build up your immune system.
And then ultimately, that's what we did.
Wild Boys, we went to fucking every goddamn continent except Antarctica.
And I drank, the first thing I did, I'd put them from the airport, check in the hotel room, and I would put down my bag and I'd fucking...
Brush my teeth.
You know, you brush your teeth and you rinse it out and then you think, And I'd be able to put my head under the tap and just gulp, gulp, gulp, and drink a ton of tap water.
I did that all over Africa, fucking Asia, South America, everywhere.
I fucking drank tap water like a motherfucker.
Did you get sick?
I had a little bit of diarrhea in Kenya.
But I don't think that that was that big of a deal.
You know, at a comedy show, especially if I have a meet and greet after the show, which I didn't do in Dallas this past weekend, but for people that are asking, I can't...
Because my sets at the comedy store are always like 10, 15. I put my kids to bed at 8, and then I'll go over my material real quick and head out the door.
And then, you know, it's like I have another life.
You know, I have a nighttime life.
It's it's doable.
It's doable, but the travel's a fucking grind, man.
Well, they have it in their head that Salt Lake City is like stuck up Mormons, but the people that come out to the comedy clubs are the people that are tired of the Mormons.