Oct. 13, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:24:37
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
And we're live! | |
| Are you writing notes? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What are you writing notes about? | ||
| Just things that would be cool if we talk about. | ||
| What are you, organized? | ||
|
unidentified
|
The fuck's going on, man? | |
| I always do that. | ||
| I just know you don't like me looking at my computer, so I'm trying to go analog. | ||
| Yeah, I think both of us would be better off in these things if we just... | ||
| It's so easy to just start reading computers, especially when you're reading shit that's on the internet. | ||
| Just to get one person's talking, just start thinking about the next thing you're going to read about instead of just talking. | ||
| There's just too much. | ||
| There's too much coming at us. | ||
| I like to obsessively fact check, though, and make sure I'm saying the right thing so you won't get trumped later. | ||
| Yeah, you have to with this stuff. | ||
| Don't you think it's harder to form an opinion now than it's ever been before? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| I mean, just looking back at old videos, I'm like, oh, that's a different day. | ||
| I should probably delete this now. | ||
| The amount of data that you take in today, as opposed to just 20 years ago. | ||
| When I see something, anything that's happened, and I read a story about something, I've got to throw it through like 10 filters. | ||
| I'm kind of like, is this real? | ||
| Is this bullshit? | ||
| Who's making this? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| And then you have to just... | ||
| You know, like every time someone sends you some... | ||
| What article is it on? | ||
| That's what I always do with Eddie Bravo. | ||
| Eddie Bravo hit me up with some crazy shit. | ||
| I go, okay. | ||
| Before you get too excited, what website was this? | ||
| World Truther Organization West. | ||
| You know, like there's some nutty fucking articles that are written that aren't real. | ||
| It's hard to figure out what the fuck is really going on with some things. | ||
| Yeah, and they're so tricky now, too. | ||
| It'll be like NBCnews.com. | ||
| There's like two.coms. | ||
| There's fucking weird ones, man. | ||
| I saw one the other day that I think was a scam. | ||
| It was for some fucking brain pill, and it led you to some NBC-looking website, and I was like, what is this? | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| Yeah, I followed this rabbit hole of, okay, what happens when you click that? | ||
| Okay, what's going on over here? | ||
| Yeah, it's like a fake CNN, where it has an article about this brain pill, and you're reading it as if CNN wrote this article. | ||
| There's a lot of those brain pill things, too. | ||
| In the Soylent, you know the Soylent? | ||
| It's like that... | ||
| Yeah, it's like a full meal. | ||
| Yeah, and they released these bars the other day, or recently. | ||
| And all these people are going to the hospital, and they sent it to the lab trying to figure out what it is. | ||
| Is this a fact-check thing? | ||
| Yeah, no, no, this is true. | ||
| And so they just recalled all these protein bars, like the whole thing. | ||
| What? | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| This one guy couldn't stop throwing up. | ||
| He had to go to the ER. Just from these pills. | ||
| Or these food bars. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| What's in these fucking things? | ||
| I don't know, but the old Soylent is People thing. | ||
| You'd think they would change their name. | ||
| That's a fucking giant horror line in a science fiction movie. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Soylent Green is People! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what they said, right? | ||
| Wasn't that what the line was in the movie? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Speaking of movies, but not really. | ||
| This is not happening. | ||
| Ari Shaffir's show premieres tonight. | ||
| Midnight, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I know he's got a lot of funny fucking people on this season. | ||
| It's a great show if you haven't seen it before. | ||
| It's really one of the best shows on television because it's really funny people like Joey Diaz. | ||
| He's had Stan Hope on. | ||
| I know Rollins is on this season. | ||
| Henry Rollins. | ||
| Notice I said Rollins. | ||
| It's like when people used to pretend they knew Eddie Murphy. | ||
| They just call him Eddie. | ||
| You know, me and Eddie. | ||
| We're tight. | ||
| We're just tight. | ||
| Me and Eddie, you know, just fucking hanging out together. | ||
| You don't want to say his last name. | ||
| Like, Eddie who? | ||
| Murphy, bro. | ||
| Murphy. | ||
| I'm trying to think. | ||
| Is there anyone that you... | ||
| Rollins. | ||
| I mean, if you really were hanging out with him, like sharing a pizza, would you call him by his last name? | ||
| Rollins? | ||
| No, I definitely would not. | ||
| That would be so rude. | ||
| Hey, Rollins. | ||
| I'd be like, ew. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| If someone's like, hey Rogan, I'd be like, aw man. | ||
| But actually, no, that's not bad. | ||
| It depends on the length of the name. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, if your name, if you have a long, crazy name, like Fedor Emelianenko. | ||
| If you're like, hey Emelianenko, my name's Fedor, bitch. | ||
| Just call me Fedor. | ||
| That's when you get a nickname real quick. | ||
| Yeah, you have to get a nickname. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What about Seinfeld? | ||
| You would probably say Mr. Seinfeld, right? | ||
| Oh, I would say Mr. Seinfeld. | ||
| I said Mr. Ventura when I met Jesse Ventura. | ||
| I called him sir. | ||
| I always try to show, especially to older guys that I like, I always try to show him a lot of respect. | ||
| Yeah, if I met Seinfeld, for sure, I'd call him Mr. Seinfeld. | ||
| He's Jerry fucking Seinfeld. | ||
| But if you were sharing a pizza, like watching a movie. | ||
| Mr. Seinfeld, let me ask you this. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It would be weird. | ||
| Yeah, that's weird. | ||
| Yeah, that's weird. | ||
| But, I mean, tell me, like, some young kid who's seen you online for all these years hasn't done that to you. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| When friends call me Redman, it's gross. | ||
| Like, I'm like, oh, stop. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| My name's Brian. | ||
| People introduce me as Redman. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| You're like a rapper. | ||
| You have a name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you know... | ||
| Did we already say this? | ||
| Did you know Redman? | ||
| The rapper. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Has a group called Death... | ||
| Def Squad? | ||
| Def Squad? | ||
| That's hilarious! | ||
| That's like simulation theory shit. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| That's like parallel universes. | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| Fucking weird. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's so bizarre. | |
| That is so bizarre. | ||
| And totally independent of each other. | ||
| And just think of how many different variables there are in between. | ||
| Is there Red Baron and Def Squad? | ||
| That is hilarious. | ||
| Red Man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See? | |
| Red Man and Def Squad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is hilarious, dude. | |
| Oh, he's got Eric Sermon from EPMD? Dude. | ||
| He's like one of the best rappers of all time, and he's got like a weird speech thing going on, right? | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| EPMD? Dude, I used to love EPMD. You don't know EPMD? I definitely know the name, but that's a generation just above my age group. | ||
| Dude, old school hip-hop. | ||
| What's their main song? | ||
| I probably know the songs. | ||
| I probably just don't remember. | ||
| I haven't listened to their shit in a long time. | ||
| I used to be a giant fan. | ||
| Strictly Business. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There we go. | ||
| Go to like an album. | ||
| Strictly Business was great. | ||
| You Got to Chill was great. | ||
| They still got a MySpace. | ||
| How about this? | ||
| Here's something. | ||
| People forget Big Daddy Kane. | ||
| Remember Follow the Leader? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Or was that Eric Bean Rakim? | ||
| Eric Bean Rakim was Follow the Leader. | ||
| Big Daddy Kane. | ||
| Goddamn Big Daddy Kane had a bunch of giant hits. | ||
| I met him when I was a kid. | ||
| My cousin loved him and he went to his show in Florida. | ||
| Let's see what the Big Daddy Kane hits were. | ||
| Ain't no half-stepping. | ||
| Smooth operator. | ||
| I get the job done. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He had a lot of great shit. | ||
| Taste of chocolate album. | ||
| He had a great style too. | ||
| Like a great, smooth, quick style of rapping. | ||
| I wish we could play some of this. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I hate this. | ||
| Yanked off motherfucking YouTube. | ||
| That's too bad. | ||
| But educate yourself, folks. | ||
| Go get a hold of some Big Daddy Kane. | ||
| Go listen to Cool Moe D. I Go to Work. | ||
| You gotta think back then, rap was only a few years old. | ||
| That's what's even cooler about it. | ||
| Like, if you listen to Cool Mode D, I go to work. | ||
| Let me take a guess, because I listened to that when I was a kid. | ||
| If I had to guess, that's a song from the 80s, right? | ||
| Yeah, I'd say that. | ||
| 1989. Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, I went to school. | ||
| I went to a middle school in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts when I was 13 years old. | ||
| And I remember that's when that hip hop, hippity to the hippity, hip hop, that's when that was going on. | ||
| That's when the Sugar Hill Gang had just come out with the first rap music ever. | ||
| That I had ever heard, rather. | ||
| I mean, there might have been some before, but that was the first mainstream rap that I was exposed to as a kid. | ||
| So that was 1980, I think. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
| This is good shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Kumo D. Look at the glasses. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Now, how does this not get us kicked off YouTube? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, let's hope Kumo D doesn't fuck us. | |
| We're just trying to give you props, dude. | ||
| When LL Cool J, you know, Don't Call It a Comeback came out, I had a Ford Taurus and I had like the best bass ever, but that time period of music was exciting. | ||
| Dude, LL Cool J is a... | ||
| Bad motherfucker. | ||
| But people don't like to give LL Cool J too much props because he's too good looking and he's too yoked. | ||
| Yeah, and he's always eating ice cream. | ||
| People don't like it. | ||
| He's jacked. | ||
| He's built like a superhero. | ||
| He's a beautiful man. | ||
| I saw him perform this summer in Columbus. | ||
| He headlined a big festival, and there was tons of ladies that were just rapping all his old songs, getting excited for the night, just walking up, singing the Phenomenon. | ||
| Did he play the... | ||
| He did all his old stuff, yeah. | ||
| Oh, God, that's great. | ||
| Even at one point, like, stopped the show and was like, all right, what do you guys want? | ||
| Some new shit? | ||
| You want the old shit? | ||
| And everyone's like, oh, we want the old shit! | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Mama Said Knock You Out? | ||
| I mean, come on, dude. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| That song doesn't jack you up when you're on the elliptical machine? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Dakota, come on. | ||
| It's a great fucking song. | ||
| And it's so loud and powerful. | ||
| Going back to Cali. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| He's got some great songs. | ||
| Great songs. | ||
| Her bikini, small, heels tall. | ||
| She said she likes the ocean. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| I need to re-listen to that. | ||
| I haven't heard that song in a long time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That fucking song rules. | |
| Again, think of LL Cool J. When was that? | ||
| When was Going Back to Cali? | ||
| That was probably the 90s. | ||
| Yeah, same time period, right? | ||
| 89? | ||
| Yeah, that song I was just playing was in 87. What about I Go to Work? | ||
| We just said that's 89, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, what about Going Back to Cali? | ||
| 88, 89, right? | ||
| I was middle school. | ||
| 89? | ||
| 89. That's insane. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Yeah, I was just about to graduate high school. | ||
| No, I graduated high school in 85. 89 was... | ||
| That's how weird my brain works. | ||
| I think of graduating high school... | ||
| 88, actually. | ||
| It says recorded 87, released January 27, 1989. 88. I think of graduating high school and the day I started comedy, I superimpose those sometimes. | ||
| Like literally, I think of, these are the two milestones of my youth, for sure. | ||
| Graduating high school, 1985, and then starting comedy, 1988. Those are the big milestones. | ||
| So sometimes I confabulate them. | ||
| Is that the word? | ||
| No. | ||
| That might not be the right word. | ||
| Step down to my lane again. | ||
| Do you have one of those word of the day calendars and every day you look at it? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, I just try to find a good word that fits. | ||
| My friend has one of those and every day she tries to use a new word and I'm just like, it's the word, isn't it? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| In psychiatry, confabulation is a disturbance of memory defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world without conscious intention to deceive. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Never. | ||
| I used it right? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| How did I use it again? | ||
| What did I say? | ||
| You switched the dates of yourself. | ||
| Right, that I confabulate them. | ||
| But I know that I'm wrong once I say it. | ||
| Okay, so it's a disturbance of memory. | ||
| Yeah, so it's right. | ||
| Confabulation. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I get, um, I think about it, man. | ||
| Think about those, that, like, the date you graduated high school, did you ever have, like, nightmares that you had to go back, that you didn't take tests? | ||
| I slept through most of high school. | ||
| The whole school I was sleeping, so it was all a dream to me. | ||
| I actually probably slept, honestly, 40% of high school. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because I only liked art class, and that's all I liked. | ||
| I hated everything else, except English. | ||
| I liked English class because I liked stories and writing crazy shit. | ||
| I have to bring this up because I brought it up on the podcast before. | ||
| There was a guy... | ||
| I think I told you that when I was in high school that I had an art teacher that was just a douchebag. | ||
| He just was not nice and he was really negative and he must have been depressed. | ||
| He just wasn't a happy guy. | ||
| And he made me stop doing art because I didn't want to be in his class. | ||
| I liked Frank Frazetta illustrations and I liked comic book illustrations. | ||
| That's what I was really into learning how to do. | ||
| And this guy was just pissing on dreams. | ||
| Just saying, you'll never be able to do that. | ||
| You're going to have to be able to do advertisements for magazines. | ||
| That's most likely where you're going to work. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He was just super negative. | ||
| But there was one guy in the class that was the most talented guy by far. | ||
| His name is John DeVore. | ||
| And I talked about it on the podcast, and John reached out to me. | ||
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| John got ahold of me, and he told me that he fucking quit that guy's class. | ||
| That guy failed him. | ||
| And this guy was insanely talented. | ||
| He was like, I was always pretty good. | ||
| But there was another guy in our class that was better than me, too. | ||
| His name was Kevin. | ||
| He was a football player. | ||
| He was a big, stocky fucking dude, and his brother was on the football team. | ||
| Goddamn, I wish I could remember his last name. | ||
| But those were the two guys. | ||
| I was like number three. | ||
| Those are two guys. | ||
| We all did the same style. | ||
| It was all comic book illustration type shit. | ||
| He was the most versatile. | ||
| He could draw beautiful things. | ||
| He could draw a rose or he could draw a monster. | ||
| I can only draw monsters. | ||
| If I had to draw a rose, it's going to look like shit. | ||
| But I would draw a fucked up werewolf or something like that. | ||
| So I was into that kind of stuff. | ||
| And all three of us were into that sort of comic book style art. | ||
| And this fucking teacher, I mean he rather, got the most talented guy in the class and gave him an F. When he told me that, I went, what? | ||
| I think he said gave him an F. That's fucked up. | ||
| And that teacher wouldn't exist in today's world because you would have filmed him. | ||
| You would have put it on YouTube. | ||
| It would have become a news story. | ||
| It would have been like checking the teachers is like another big thing. | ||
| It is, but when a teacher has tenure, it can be really difficult in certain schools. | ||
| I know they have that problem with that in certain universities. | ||
| Teachers have tenure. | ||
| You really can't fire them. | ||
| And once they know they can't be fired, they could be really, really radical and have some crazy fucking ideas and teach your kids some shit that you don't agree with, that no one agrees with. | ||
| And if they get into a university and they get into the system and your kid winds up in their class... | ||
| I mean, there's some really crazy teachers out there. | ||
| And there's this guy in Toronto who is a professor, and they're demanding that he take sensitivity courses and all kinds of crazy shit. | ||
| And they're calling him transphobic because he won't use the 28 different gender pronouns that are available today. | ||
| There's like 30 fucking gender pronouns. | ||
| So they're talking to him, they're calling him transphobic and gender, binary gender believer. | ||
| And this guy is lashing out. | ||
| Instead of backing off, he's decided to make more and more educational YouTube videos about what's wrong with this kind of censorship. | ||
| Because what he's saying is, and I agree with this, if you look at a lot of what's going on with maybe what people would call a social justice warrior, or people want to shut people down from being able to say something, what's going on is there's this need to control, and there's a need to control other people and to push your idea on other people, whether or not they agree with you or not. | ||
| That mirrors the same thing that happens with religions. | ||
| It's like, you might be right or you might not be right. | ||
| There might be an argument against what you're saying that you might have to consider. | ||
| When people get an idea one way in their head, They don't want to consider any other possibilities and when you see these kids rallying against this one professor it's never been more evident because this professor is brilliant and what he's saying is non-emotional and he's talking about the problems with how these things are defined and one of the things is he brought up this DVD that one of the teachers of this course was making about how to how to make sure that you're not subconsciously | ||
| biased Or subconsciously prejudiced. | ||
| And the DVDs were like 700 bucks or something like that for a DVD series. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, this guy outlines all this in his video, in his YouTube video. | ||
| And he's like, this is craziness. | ||
| Like, this doesn't make sense. | ||
| It's never been proven to work. | ||
| And the idea that there's subconscious biases, that you're... | ||
| Accusing someone of being guilty before you're ever even talking to them about something. | ||
| Saying a subconscious bias is a very strange thing. | ||
| Like, boy, how do you know if you have that? | ||
| It's subconscious. | ||
| You're making people think they're guilty even if they're not. | ||
| Like, if you say you have a subconscious bias, that's one of the things that people do when they're super, super liberal. | ||
| In order to prevent from other people thinking they have a subconscious bias, they go way out of their way to show no bias whatsoever and even favor something that people would be biased against. | ||
| Like, they're super into gay marriage. | ||
| I love seeing gay couples. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Do you love seeing heterosexual couples, too? | ||
| Or do you just freak out over gay people? | ||
| Like, what's going on? | ||
| You know, I like seeing people in love, too. | ||
| But, I mean, don't you like seeing all of them? | ||
| I like seeing the whole batch. | ||
| It's nice. | ||
| It's very exhausting nowadays. | ||
| Gay people in love? | ||
| Just everything. | ||
| Like, how you're supposed to act, what you're supposed to say. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Last night, I was at this bar, and I thought I was sitting next to a taller woman, and then she looked over, and it was obviously a post-transformation. | ||
| You mean a transgender woman, you fuck. | ||
| You have to say the right word with your mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| You have to say the right word. | ||
| She transformed. | ||
| Anyways, so, but then the whole time, she, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| She kept on looking at me as if, but that person was way taller, and so if it was a guy, it would be a big, giant guy just staring at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So, either way, I felt like... | ||
| Freaked out about it, you know? | ||
| So am I not allowed to be freaked out because she's a woman now? | ||
| That some guy's staring at me? | ||
| Woman? | ||
| Yeah, well, anyone staring at you, you're allowed to get freaked out over anyone staring at you. | ||
| I mean, if a little kid was staring at you, like Mad Dog in New News 10, you're like, oh my god, am I going to have to fuck this 10-year-old up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know? | |
| Anybody staring at you is not good. | ||
| I didn't know how to act this. | ||
| It was weird. | ||
| You gotta stand your ground. | ||
| You gotta growl. | ||
| Can you get your back up? | ||
| Get your prickles up? | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| If you don't want to vote for Hillary this election, people kind of think that you hate women, essentially. | ||
| I don't know that it's overall. | ||
| No, not necessarily. | ||
| Just fools. | ||
| Just fools. | ||
| It's an obvious target, right? | ||
| You don't vote for her because you hate women. | ||
| You don't understand what a milestone this is, man. | ||
| You don't care. | ||
| Because you don't fucking care. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| You know what you're worried about, man? | ||
| You're worried about going to the gym and being a bro. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| So why don't you do that? | ||
| Why don't you just go to the gym and be a bro and leave the fucking voting to people who care. | ||
| You know those super aggro, progressive type people? | ||
| I remember I was in a bar once in New York, and I was having a conversation with this girl who was a waitress, and the bartender got so aggro bro on me. | ||
| And it was about... | ||
| It was the O.J. Simpson case? | ||
| O.J. Simpson had been accused of domestic violence before, like before the murder. | ||
| It was something like that. | ||
| Something along those lines. | ||
| And I remember all I asked was, I said, that's interesting. | ||
| I said, he was accused of being, but he was acquitted? | ||
| And the guy just totally ego-bro'd me. | ||
| And he goes, listen, man, when a woman says that something happened, it fucking happened, okay? | ||
| Until you know better, it happened. | ||
| I'm like, but didn't you just say he was acquitted? | ||
| Like, I think he probably murdered his ex-wife and that dude, but didn't you say that he was acquitted? | ||
| Like, you can't, like, you can't, you can't tack that in there if he was acquitted. | ||
| We don't really know what happened, unless you were there. | ||
| We know that a court of law found that he wasn't guilty of it. | ||
| Is that because he had a lot of money? | ||
| Did he never go to trial for that? | ||
| Was it just something that someone accused him of dropping and then dropped the charges? | ||
| What was it? | ||
| But he didn't want to hear none of that, dude. | ||
| He wanted to come strong with the eco-bro. | ||
| He just puffed up. | ||
| I didn't even respond to him. | ||
| I remember going, look at this silly fuck. | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| He got so aggro with me. | ||
| Did you watch that Made in America, that ESPN 30 for 30 on the trial yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's available on demand. | ||
| They'll probably leave it up there for a while. | ||
| It's still, as far as I looked it up, it's the only place you can find, they show the actual photos from the crime scene and photos of, I don't know if it's an autopsy photo, but of Nicole with like a slash in her throat. | ||
| You can see Ron Goldman too. | ||
| They don't show it when they re-air it on TV. | ||
| So if you're watching it, you can try to catch it there. | ||
| Because I tried to show it to my friend the other day. | ||
| I was like, wait, wait, right here, it's going to come up. | ||
| And then it didn't, they cut it out. | ||
| It's literally only on demand if you want to see it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know how they kept it off... | |
| It's amazing how some things like can be kept off the web pretty easy nowadays like it's like I forget what it was recently where they did just the best job oh those photos of the SNL girl oh yeah and those were just gone like every link dead like there was not one place to find it it was really well done and But it's weird how, like, did you hear 4chan's closing? | ||
| They're going bankrupt. | ||
| It costs money to run 4chan? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A lot of money. | ||
| The servers, mostly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They must get mad, mad, crazy traffic right now. | |
| It's weird. | ||
| All our websites are dying. | ||
| Remember Style Project? | ||
| I used to talk to that dude on the phone. | ||
| Jay Style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Even Dig. | ||
| I don't think I've been to Dig in so long. | ||
| I don't even know if that's still there. | ||
| Dig's there? | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I go to Dig all the time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you? | |
| Yeah, you get crazy stories. | ||
| Dig is like one of the one-stop shops of getting interesting shit online. | ||
| For me, I'm like, what the fuck is going on in the world? | ||
| I'll go to Dig, and Dig will be about some new scientific adventure, next to some new fucking paleological find, next to some new technological discovery, next to new cell phones, new cars. | ||
| It's all kinds of crazy stories come out, man. | ||
| Seems like when Kevin left, I kind of just stopped going. | ||
| I started using Reddit more and Fark. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All those are great, but to me, it's a super easy one-stop, what's the weird shit? | ||
| And always weird, interesting things. | ||
| They aggregate these stories from all these other different websites and stuff, too. | ||
| It's easy to go to someone who's already done the collecting for you. | ||
| I believe in supporting collectors, because I don't have the time to do that. | ||
| You're going out finding all these cool stories about space, and you're putting them up in one spot. | ||
| That's very valuable because it's like a DJ. They're like a DJ for stories. | ||
| Because they're not just covering any fucking story. | ||
| Because if they covered any fucking story, it would be boring as shit. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of stories that are going on that are just like, oh, that's not that good. | ||
| But they've figured out, like, what's the juiciest shit? | ||
| Like, what's the more interesting shit? | ||
| What's the this? | ||
| What's the that? | ||
| And they shuffle it all in together. | ||
| You always can get something fascinating out of it. | ||
| It's very addictive, man. | ||
| Looking on the internet for those stories like weird crazy fucking scientific discoveries and It's very addictive. | ||
| I went deep. | ||
| I just like when you get deep in a subject and then you start watching videos and you start learning more. | ||
| And then if anyone happens to ask you that question, you'd be like, oh, I know everything. | ||
| I went deep on toaster ovens. | ||
| So if you need any information with toaster ovens, I know all the recent news on toaster ovens. | ||
| But I went so deep. | ||
| I just laid in bed for two hours watching reviews of toaster ovens and Dude, you're the go-to toaster oven guy. | ||
| I tell everybody that. | ||
| Do you have a toaster oven? | ||
| It's great. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| I've never had one. | ||
| You know what they're really good for, man? | ||
| English muffins with, like, tuna fish on them and a little cheese. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fly that bitch in there. | ||
| Jamie just made a face. | ||
| Like, he's disgusted. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Yeah, Martin, you could put a chicken in it. | ||
| You don't believe in a tuna melt with an English muffin? | ||
| No? | ||
| You wouldn't eat a tuna melt? | ||
| Tuna's got a stench to it that I can't describe. | ||
| Someone doesn't eat pussy. | ||
| Someone doesn't eat pussy. | ||
| When you have, what is it, fresh? | ||
| It's not mahi, mahi, mahi, mahi? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yeah, so like that. | ||
| I know it's different from like, what, a star-kissed in a little pouch or whatever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Obviously way different tuna. | ||
| But to me, when it's out in the open and someone has just cooked it, it just fills up the room with a fucking stench. | ||
| That's why you mix it with mustard and mayo. | ||
| I don't know how to describe it. | ||
| It smells like the ocean. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| Yeah, that doesn't bother me. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You got to put weird shit, though. | ||
| You got a bunch of weird shit with your food. | ||
| I'm a weird guy. | ||
| Eddie Bravo's got an onion thing. | ||
| If he gets onions or something, he'll fucking throw up. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hates onions. | ||
| Hates them. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Stepfather was a dick, and his stepfather used to make him eat ceviche. | ||
| And so to this day, he sees onions, he wants to fucking throw up. | ||
| Wait, who wants being made to eat ceviche? | ||
| Ceviche is great! | ||
| Hey man, I wasn't there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know what went down, but he's my boy. | |
| He can't eat any onions. | ||
| If he gets onions, he'll fucking puke. | ||
| To is Korean, so she eats all this fucked up... | ||
| Kimchi? | ||
| Does she do the kimchi? | ||
| She eats eyeballs. | ||
| She loves eating fish eyeballs. | ||
| She'll just go up to a fish and pull out the eyeball and eat it. | ||
| I'm like, what are you doing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good lord. | |
| And she had this like, her mom's six, so we went to go visit her mom. | ||
| And so she opens up this thing and she's like, Mom, I got you everything. | ||
| And it was like everything that you wouldn't want to eat. | ||
| Like pig ear, pig feet, like cow noses. | ||
| It was just like a smorgasbord. | ||
| There was not one thing that I would eat in this whole tray. | ||
| And it was like a delicatessen to do. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Where do they balut? | ||
| That's Philippines. | ||
| They love that stuff. | ||
| We used to serve that on Fear Factor as a hard thing to do. | ||
| And my Filipino friends, because in pool, a lot of the best pool players in the world are Filipino. | ||
| So I played pool a lot. | ||
| I was always around Filipino guys. | ||
| And while I was doing Fear Factor, I played a lot of pool. | ||
| These fucking dudes, they were like, I'll eat that shit tomorrow. | ||
| Like, bring some of it in. | ||
| You got any left over? | ||
| They wanted to eat it. | ||
| I was like, we made people eat that stuff. | ||
| If you don't know what we're talking about, it's a fetus. | ||
| It's a duck fetus that's in, it's like, it's cooked in the yolk. | ||
| It's really kind of fucked up. | ||
| It's kind of gruesome. | ||
| And it looks like a duck. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The picture I remember looked like a baby duck, that you would just eat a baby duck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't know until I was like fucking 39 years old or something. | ||
| I don't know how old I was when I found out that a chicken egg doesn't become a chicken. | ||
| Like, I never thought of it. | ||
| I never even thought of it. | ||
| Like, of course it can't become a chicken. | ||
| It's just like, I thought you had to just grab them quick before the chicken came out. | ||
| If you eat them, don't let them expire. | ||
| That's what I thought. | ||
| If you got them early, but if you sat on them, then you're going to have to take care of that goddamn chicken. | ||
| Because the chick's going to be born. | ||
| And that's what I thought. | ||
| I thought you had to eat the eggs quick. | ||
| Because they were just going to become chickens. | ||
| Because in my mind, and this is as a dopey child, I felt like once something's out of the body, Well, it's obviously, it's just, that's how they do it. | ||
| They lay their eggs, and then the things come out of the eggs. | ||
| It's out of the body. | ||
| It must have given birth. | ||
| Like, in my mind, it has to be, it's an egg, it's in a shell, it gave birth. | ||
| So I didn't understand that, no, it has to be a fertilized egg. | ||
| Oh, so what happens then? | ||
| Well, then all that shit that's in the egg, all that shit becomes a little bird. | ||
| But birds are such hoes, they're so goddamn prolific, that they drop an egg every day. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I have chickens that drop an egg every day. | ||
| That means every day they want to be shitting out a baby. | ||
| Has your cholesterol or anything gone up since you got these chickens? | ||
| That is a gigantic myth. | ||
| Dietary cholesterol, according to the most recent science, according to people that are way smarter than me. | ||
| Okay, I know there's some disputes on this amongst people that are plant-based, people that believe that you can get everything that you need from vegetables. | ||
| But... | ||
| I think dietary cholesterol is less significant than sedentary lifestyle. | ||
| Genetics are a huge factor in having high cholesterol. | ||
| And then there's also, I've come to learn about LDL cholesterol and HDL cholesterol. | ||
| And that having higher levels of each other can balance each other out. | ||
| And it's not necessarily the level of cholesterol they're concerned with. | ||
| It's the type of cholesterol. | ||
| So it's It's not food. | ||
| Dietary cholesterol is actually important for developing hormones. | ||
| It's actually an important factor in just your body having the proper nutrients to rebuild itself. | ||
| Dietary cholesterol is actually good for you. | ||
| We've been fucked. | ||
| We've been fucked. | ||
| We've been fucked by these food industries. | ||
| There was an article today from Aris Technica. | ||
| How do you say that? | ||
| Aris Technica? | ||
| Where they were talking about the sugar industry, the soda industry, paying off people to lie about the negative health effects of sugar. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Of sugar in their sodas. | ||
| We forget that sodas were created as a dessert. | ||
| You're not supposed to drink it as a beverage, really. | ||
| All day long. | ||
| Yeah, it was supposed to be like, oh, after dinner, maybe we can all split a Coca-Cola. | ||
| Big Soda is buying off health orgs to keep profits in Americans fat. | ||
| Top producers backed 96 national organizations defeated 29 proposed regulations. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Now, I switched to Arnold Palmer's a few years ago in iced teas. | ||
| Rest in peace, Arnold Palmer. | ||
| I don't know if that's better, though, because the sugar of the lemonade... | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| It's only half a glass. | ||
| Well, it depends on how many grams. | ||
| Really, there's a new soda that they sweeten with stevia. | ||
| I wonder if it's any good. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| I saw somebody was drinking it that's very health-conscious the other day. | ||
| I looked at them drinking it. | ||
| I tried the, what is it, the Trader Joe's or the Whole Foods Stevia Colas. | ||
| And it tastes like RC Cola. | ||
| Remember RC Cola? | ||
| Oh, it was Nate Diaz. | ||
| Nate Diaz was drinking it. | ||
| Nate had it on his, I think that is it. | ||
| Is it called Zevia? | ||
| Nate had it on his Instagram page. | ||
| Look, I like Stevia and coffee. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| It's different than soda, different than sugar, but... | ||
| At least I know it's not fucking me, you know? | ||
| Starbucks just finally got Stevia and almond milk within the last month. | ||
| There he goes, Zevia. | ||
| Yeah, and you know, if you know Nate, Nate is super health conscious. | ||
| He eats real clean. | ||
| Once they really got deep into triathlons and stuff like that, that's when they really... | ||
| Nick was the first one. | ||
| He really met a bunch of people that ate really clean, all these racers, and then he realized, like, oh, okay, organic food's way better for you. | ||
| Oh, okay, don't eat pastas and breads. | ||
| And then I think he cut out everything except for fish. | ||
| I think it was like no land animals he was doing for a while, but he might even be full vegan now. | ||
| And his brother's gone back and forth. | ||
| Sometimes they take in fish. | ||
| And I know that they were eating eggs. | ||
| Jake Shields eat eggs. | ||
| You know, like a lot of those guys hang out together. | ||
| And they have a real similar diet. | ||
| But those guys, if they're drinking something like that, like that Zevia shit, I guarantee it's not bad for you. | ||
| Stevia is just not bad for you, right? | ||
| I've never seen any negative effects of stevia. | ||
| I thought there was, because I remember I was really big into stevia, and then there was an article that came out about something, and I was like, I'm just going back to sugar. | ||
| I'm just sick of this. | ||
| My only sugar that I really take now is I get some sugar in my iced coffee instead of putting sweeteners in there. | ||
| You just put it in yours so you get it unsweetened and you dump it in? | ||
| Yeah, just a little bit. | ||
| But I don't know how bad that is. | ||
| And I've cut down Starbucks now. | ||
| I used to do it every day, like one of these every day. | ||
| Now I do it like twice a week. | ||
| I think they're saying more and more that it's just not good unless it's in the food naturally. | ||
| Like sugar, when it's connected to all the fiber and all the vitamins and nutrients, it's in like an orange or something like that. | ||
| You know, there's some juicy oranges that you get that are probably better than any dessert you ever have. | ||
| But... | ||
| Isn't there like a factor in desserts that you know you're not supposed to be eating that shit? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The thing I miss the most, and it's hard to get out here in California, or at least unless you go to like a market or like an outdoor, one of those. | ||
| Is a peach or a nectarine or a plum that's actually nice. | ||
| In Ohio, you would just bite these humongous peaches and they'd just melt in your mouth. | ||
| Out here, they're hard as a rock. | ||
| And then you just have to kind of wait for them to get mushy one day and go, okay, now it's mushy. | ||
| But mushy's not the same as that. | ||
| I think you've got to catch them in season. | ||
| And I think, look, it's dry as fuck out here. | ||
| I bet a lot of fruit trees and shit I mean, we're good for almonds, man. | ||
| This is what California's good for, almonds. | ||
| Oh, here's some shit I found out, okay? | ||
| When I was at the Tahone Ranch, the Tahone Ranch, they have pistachio trees, but they graft the pistachio leaves and branches onto another sturdier tree, like an avocado. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| And so you've got like a pistachio tree growing out of an avocado tree. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And the dude was telling me, I was like, what? | ||
| They can do that? | ||
| Did you know they can do that? | ||
| I think they do a lot of things like that in farming nowadays. | ||
| How did I not know that? | ||
| I mean, I knew about grafting limbs onto other plants, but I always thought it was the same plant. | ||
| Like, you would graft your tomato branch onto another tomato. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| How do they do that? | ||
| It's kind of... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Again, I would say they probably like... | ||
| What is this, Jamie? | ||
| It's a hand-drawn diagram, it looks like. | ||
| It says right here, like, figure when they cut. | ||
| You know what this looks like? | ||
| Whenever dudes get abducted by aliens, and then they come back, what was it like? | ||
| Well, let me draw it for you. | ||
| This is the first one. | ||
| The first one I come to, I'm on the table. | ||
| The second one, the table... | ||
| Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. | ||
| Go back, go back. | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| The second one, the stable starts to vibrate and then the alien comes in from overhead and now all I could see was his head and the lights in the ceiling and then an examining machine came down. | ||
| See the arrow? | ||
| Down. | ||
| That's exactly what it looks like. | ||
| And then I became one with the galaxy. | ||
| See, there's the alien and then the galaxy. | ||
| He reaches the next level. | ||
| The next level of the game. | ||
| That's what I see. | ||
| I see a dick in a butthole and it's getting probed on that last one. | ||
| Uh, I don't see a dick. | ||
| If your dick looks like that, go to a doctor for sure. | ||
| It's a quake dick. | ||
| It's a quake dick. | ||
| It looks like a nail. | ||
| It's a T-cut. | ||
| Oh, a T-cut. | ||
| On a stem. | ||
| And then they're implanting it. | ||
| It says a bud gets implanted in there. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And then the bud grows out of the stem. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| So they implant the bud in there and then they cut it? | ||
| Is that what they're saying? | ||
| It says cutting the bud? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| There's some other pictures where you can kind of see that, but this is a little more of a illustration. | ||
| How bizarre is that, man? | ||
| They make a tree grow inside another tree. | ||
| I did not know that they can Franken-tree. | ||
| But I should have known, right? | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| Did they talk about the drought and how pistachios are supposedly going to double in price in the next year because we had such a drought this year? | ||
| And I guess pistachios are just about to go crazy sky high, so buy them now. | ||
| I know that's a really good point, and I know it's important for agriculture in California, but I want to go, what are your pistachios going to cost more? | ||
| Oh, you fucking baby. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| What if you buy a bag a day? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude, it's $2 more a day in pistachios. | |
| I'm fucked. | ||
| It's also a good effect. | ||
| What percentage of your fucking budget goes to pistachios ever in your life? | ||
| To even consume a moment of your time thinking about this as a possibility, like, what about the pistachio prices going up? | ||
| I love... | ||
| What's your favorite three things that you buy? | ||
| Well, if I gave you an opportunity to give up pistachios for the rest of your life, do you think you would struggle? | ||
| No. | ||
| There'd be no issues. | ||
| I'd go mad walnut. | ||
| There'd be no issues. | ||
| I'd be like, I'm a Brazil nut. | ||
| I'm interesting. | ||
| I like complex flavors. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, there'd be no problem. | ||
| You'd eat peanuts. | ||
| You'd be like, cashews. | ||
| I'm down with cashews. | ||
| I don't need... | ||
| Where do you buy walnuts? | ||
| Like, full walnuts? | ||
| Like, I try to buy, like, walnuts. | ||
| Not, like, chopped up walnuts. | ||
| Like, I'm talking about the ones in the show where you crack them with the stupid crackers. | ||
| Good question. | ||
| I guess the supermarket, right? | ||
| I looked. | ||
| They don't have walnuts? | ||
| Maybe walnuts... | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about walnuts anymore. | ||
| People realize, like, if you have, like, mixed nuts, they're like, ah, bitch-ass walnuts. | ||
| Give me that almond, motherfucker. | ||
| Who wants to crack that? | ||
| Especially, yeah. | ||
| Like, how many people buy nutcrackers these days? | ||
| If you're not cracking claws, like lobster claws or crab claws, right? | ||
| You're not buying a fucking nutcracker. | ||
| When was the last time you cracked a nut? | ||
| Bitch, we aren't cracking any nuts. | ||
| I have a nutcracker collection at home. | ||
| It's one of those things you just leave in Ohio. | ||
| Just like the dance? | ||
| Yeah, the one where you have the handle and they... | ||
| Yeah, those are real. | ||
| That's what people don't know, like the nutcracker. | ||
| When I was a kid, I was always like, why do they call it the nutcracker when it's just a bunch of wooden toys? | ||
| Like, why is that the nutcracker? | ||
| And realize, oh, those are actual nutcrackers. | ||
| When I was a boy, we cracked our nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We didn't just go and buy them all shelled and packaged by Mexicans. | |
| I also had a box of wooden ducks. | ||
| Remember when that was a popular thing? | ||
| That's what stupid people were when we were kids. | ||
| Like, here, have a wooden duck, you fucking dumps. | ||
| You're too stupid to play with anything that moves, you piece of shit. | ||
| Just take this fucking wooden duck and pretend it's real. | ||
| Yeah, have duck fights. | ||
| I don't give a shit. | ||
| I'm over here. | ||
| Starving to death. | ||
| Wooden duck. | ||
| There was some that was ultra-realistic, like they had the green head and everything, and then there was ones that were just all brown that weren't painted and stuff, but I have like 20 of them. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Dude, you got wooden ducks. | ||
| They're probably valuable. | ||
| Not those. | ||
| Oh, the roller ones are for babies, dude. | ||
| It's not a baby. | ||
| Do you know what I'm talking about, though? | ||
| Was that a thing, or is that just like a... | ||
| Like a stupid redneck thing or something. | ||
| I'm sure there's like wooden, stupid wooden toys that I remember when I was a boy. | ||
| Here's the argument though. | ||
| It's the argument that it gave us more room for creativity when we were kids because we were playing with these stupid toys that really didn't do much so we had to do it all in our own head instead of being like overwhelmed by a video game. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| That. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Oh, that's a decoy, bro. | ||
| That's actually like a well-done decoy. | ||
| What that is, is they use those when they hunt ducks. | ||
| They put that shit in the water. | ||
| Oh, that's weird. | ||
| Well, this had like a... | ||
| Well, maybe they did, but this had like real feathers. | ||
| Yeah, like this stuff. | ||
| You'd put it on your fireplace. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, that's because people use them for decorations, too. | ||
| Oh, that's just redneck. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Some of them are beautiful. | ||
| What they started out... | ||
| See, when you call it a decoy, it's just because it's the exact same shape as a decoy. | ||
| It might not ever see the water. | ||
| But what those were originally is people trying to make ducks that looked exactly like a duck so you could float it on the pond and the ducks would fly over and go, oh, these ducks are just hanging out here. | ||
| This is a cool spot. | ||
| And they land and you blast them. | ||
| I mean, that's what Duck Dynasty is all about. | ||
| That is a show and an empire built on duck slaughter! | ||
| Trickery and fuckery. | ||
| That's what they should rename Duck Dynasty. | ||
| Trickery and fuckery. | ||
| Because they're tricking those ducks and just blowing them out of the sky. | ||
| But because people got really good at it, they started doing it as art. | ||
| Like some of them are just art. | ||
| Like people like grandma type people have them on their mantelpiece. | ||
| I love this. | ||
| I love this. | ||
| I love what it represents. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, I got a lot of them if you wanted. | ||
| No, I'm not into that. | ||
| It's funny because my mom is like, Brian, I want to throw away all this shit. | ||
| And I was like, Mom, you have a basement. | ||
| It's like, why bother throwing it away? | ||
| You don't need more room. | ||
| You barely even go in your basement. | ||
| And she's just telling me all this shit that I have there that I completely forgot. | ||
| I have a brand new Laserdisc player back home. | ||
| I have Laserdiscs. | ||
| Yeah, Laserdisc. | ||
| Isn't it funny that some things get to a certain point? | ||
| Like if you hang on to that Laserdisc, maybe it'll be one day like that tuba with a needle on it that you drop down on the records. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Because that shit is dope now. | ||
| If you had one of those, if you had one of those old school like 1903 tuba things, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It was like, it was non-mechanical. | ||
| Or not electrical. | ||
| You turn the handle. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The record player with the speaker shell. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was like a... | ||
| Like the needle was attached to like a thing that looked like a musical instrument. | ||
| Phonograph. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Phonograph. | ||
| It's called a phonograph? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Is there a video of that thing? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| Yeah, pull up a video of that thing. | ||
| Because I haven't even thought of that thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And... | |
| Do you watch Antique Roadshow, by chance? | ||
| Probably, like, ten years. | ||
| No! | ||
| I just... | ||
| I forgot those things were real at one point in time. | ||
| It's like one of those things where you go back to, like, the history of stuff, and you go, oh, yeah... | ||
| This is even showing, I tried to tell you about this before, this is what they used before records, the Edison Cylinder. | ||
| Right, that's right, you did tell me about this. | ||
| And this is just a metal, like, yeah, it's like a kid's toy nowadays. | ||
| Yeah, but God, that'd be so valuable if you had that in your house. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, if you had that in your mom's house, and you fished that out one day, you'd be like, holy shit. | ||
| Especially if it said Edison on it like that. | ||
| Well, dude, that LaserDisc recorder, as goofy as it seems now, there's gonna come a time where it's not goofy anymore. | ||
| I know, it's going to make a comeback, and we're all going to be watching. | ||
| No, it's not going to make a comeback, but it's going to be interesting. | ||
| It's going to be like, whoa, look at this fucking thing from 1999, where they had these silver discs. | ||
| Check this out, this is earlier this year, in July, the last VCR got made. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Until they start making them again, because someone's going to realize it can make a shitload of money, but... | ||
| How weird, man. | ||
| About five years ago, I bought a VCR just because I was like, you know what? | ||
| This is on its way out. | ||
| I have tons of VHS tapes, so I'm just going to buy it. | ||
| They're $29 on Amazon. | ||
| So I bought one, and it's so light nowadays. | ||
| The technology is so basic. | ||
| You could just put it on one finger easily. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| It's ridiculous how light it is. | ||
| It feels cheap. | ||
| The only one on Amazon now costs $180. | ||
| Whoa, fuck you. | ||
| That is a DVD player. | ||
| Well, it's the only one you can get, though. | ||
| You gotta get one that's both? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, well, maybe it's telling you. | ||
| Is it the other one a DVR? No, just a DVD. Like, what is a good price for a VHS player? | ||
| It used to be like $50, $60, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, they got down to like $29 to $39. | ||
| But look at these companies that make them, like Phonan. | ||
| Have you even heard of that? | ||
| You know? | ||
| So, did you hear about that thing that they were doing? | ||
| I've been paying more attention to this now, trying to figure out what a lot of this was. | ||
| There was a story that Eddie Bravo actually told me about it first, where the Pentagon was making fake Al-Qaeda videos and fake ISIS videos. | ||
| There was this documentary about this, or not a documentary, but this video online about the company that was involved in making these things. | ||
| It's crazy, dude. | ||
| It's a crazy story. | ||
| Come in for a meeting. | ||
| Like, who am I meeting with? | ||
| Have a seat. | ||
| Okay, you got the job. | ||
| You're going to Iraq. | ||
| They fucking ship this guy off. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| Like, this guy talking about... | ||
| Being recruited to create these propaganda films for the U.S. government. | ||
| And what they were was, see, everybody goes, oh my God, the U.S. government's lying to us. | ||
| Yeah, definitely not good to have these videos that we think are Al-Qaeda but are actually CIA or whoever it is that's doing these things for this propaganda firm. | ||
| But what's interesting is what they did with it. | ||
| There was a thing called RealPlayer. | ||
| You remember RealPlayer? | ||
| They only streamed it through RealPlayer. | ||
| So people would go to it, they would stream it, and they would get their IP. And they would know where they were. | ||
| And so they would know where people who were All grouping up in these radical factions, these radical groups, and they would be able to isolate them to a certain extent because of that, or at least isolate their location. | ||
| Which is really interesting, right? | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| Because there's another thing that someone was telling me, and I had never considered this. | ||
| I forget who fucking said this. | ||
| I want to say it's on the message board. | ||
| But they were talking about all the different factions that were sort of put together to become ISIS, and that they weren't even really necessarily against or together with each other. | ||
| You know, there was Boko Haram, there's the Taliban, there's Al-Qaeda, there's ISIS, there's all these different people, but they just sort of lump all these groups in together, like, we're fighting those fuckers! | ||
| Everybody! | ||
| We think of them as an organized group. | ||
| Like they got together and said, you know what? | ||
| We got to get together and organize a group and put together our powers. | ||
| And no, they're basically on each other's sides. | ||
| Like the whole thing is like just a giant group of people that don't like U.S. foreign policy. | ||
| And we sort of call them whatever we want to call them. | ||
| Some of them are ISIS and some of them are Al-Qaeda and some of them are Taliban and some of them are what they used to be the Mujahideen. | ||
| It's crazy, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Did you watch the debates? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| The funniest thing on Twitter is the hashtag Muslims reporting, whatever Trump says, like the Muslims need to report things. | ||
| So there's a hashtag of just Muslims reporting things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| But it's all shit like I fired in and a little poop came out. | ||
| Muslims report things, you know? | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| So they just took over that hashtag? | ||
| Yeah, they actually made it, because it is pretty ridiculous. | ||
| That's when he said that. | ||
| So now they're just taking advantage of it to make it funny. | ||
| And it's hilarious to read. | ||
| Oh, Muslims report stuff. | ||
| Hashtag. | ||
| Dude, it doesn't even seem real. | ||
| It really doesn't. | ||
| I watched the debate and I was like, it's so strange to watch that this is their choice. | ||
| This is our choice of who gets to be president. | ||
| It's like, what happened here? | ||
| I got really freaked out when he was hovering over her. | ||
| I don't know what triggered something in me. | ||
| I was like, get away from her! | ||
| Let her talk! | ||
| He's a big, powerful man. | ||
| He's a big, looming, powerful, successful, rich man. | ||
| It scares everybody. | ||
| Him hovering over her in that debate, the whole thing was bizarre. | ||
| It's really bizarre talking to people that watch the same program as you with completely different eyes. | ||
| Like, I'm in fights with family members over us. | ||
| Did you not watch what I watched? | ||
| I've been tuning to Fox News nonstop. | ||
| That's all I've been watching. | ||
| It's so interesting to see how people just fucking form teams, man. | ||
| They just form teams. | ||
| They go right or they go left. | ||
| But they form a team and then they write shit that doesn't necessarily make sense, but it fits within the narrative of their team winning. | ||
| And they duke it out back and forth with each other. | ||
| There's a bunch of people that were talking with big smiles about how great Trump came away from that debate. | ||
| He had one good line. | ||
| You'd be in jail. | ||
| That was a good line. | ||
| Because you'd be in jail. | ||
| That was a good line. | ||
| He got her there. | ||
| I mean, that was a fucking nice quick one. | ||
| Got in, got out, boom, knockout blow. | ||
| But the debate itself, man. | ||
| And then when he kept on saying like, hey, you know, she did her time interrupting. | ||
| While interrupting, he interrupted more and took more time to answer questions. | ||
| It was like, what world is he living in? | ||
| He's a strange guy. | ||
| I hate politics. | ||
| I hate both of them, but... | ||
| It's really interesting seeing how gross... | ||
| I feel bad for Billy Bush. | ||
| I think a lot's going to come out on him now that he's under the microscope. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| Why does there have to be moderators? | ||
| Wouldn't it be better to watch the two of them sit down and talk? | ||
| This is what I think. | ||
| Get Hillary Clinton... | ||
| And Donald Trump, sit them in a room together across a nice table like this, put a camera on the both of them, and let them have a conversation, and let's find out what they're really all about. | ||
| You know, because everyone's doing, they're broadcasting to you. | ||
| Everyone's broadcasting to you, including me right now, which is very ironic. | ||
| But everyone, that's what they're doing. | ||
| They're broadcasting. | ||
| But don't you think Donald Trump would overpower her so she can't even talk? | ||
| We'll learn a lot about him if he does that. | ||
| We'll learn a lot about him if he does that. | ||
| And I bet she'll be able to manipulate that and make him look really bad. | ||
| I think you get them together, the moderators, asking him to answer questions, telling her the time is up and all this different jazz. | ||
| That's an added element. | ||
| Why am I not talking to her? | ||
| Okay, I can't. | ||
| Well, I'm not there. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, why doesn't he talk to her? | ||
| Let's find out what they think about each other. | ||
| Let's let them... | ||
| Why are you going to do it better than me? | ||
| Tell me. | ||
| You know, why does it have to be fucking bitter, dire enemies every time two people are running for the same position? | ||
| Can't they recognize that without competition, you know, this is allegedly not the best we can do, right? | ||
| I think most people think, well, we probably can find a few scientists or doctors or whatever that might do a better job than those two at running the country, but whatever. | ||
| Just put that aside. | ||
| Is that the best? | ||
| Do you think this is the best? | ||
| There's no way, right? | ||
| No way. | ||
| It just doesn't seem real. | ||
| Even discussing it, I lose my train of thought because I can't believe we're actually sitting here talking about this. | ||
| But whatever people do, man, they get on a team, and they fucking wave that flag. | ||
| And if it's the team of the right or the team of the left, there's a few people that sort of dangle in between the middles. | ||
| It's like if you had big giant piles of ants, and then there was like a little trail in between those piles of ants that was like kind of thinned out, and then the pile would be on the left-hand side, and the pile would be on the right-hand side. | ||
| There's a few people that are in the middle. | ||
| There's a few people that are walking back and forth in the middle. | ||
| They don't know which way to go. | ||
| But the vast majority, they get on a fucking pile, and they decide, fucking Second Amendment! | ||
| Or they, you know, they decide, whatever it is, whatever they decide. | ||
| You know, Fourth Amendment! | ||
| You know, Freedom of Speech! | ||
| Whatever it is they ride with. | ||
| Yep, it's like Apple, PC, Samsung, you know, it's like, it's that whole thing. | ||
| Transgender rights! | ||
| What do you think the chances this happens again in 2020 are? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| No, it's big Kanye versus Trump in 2020. It's gonna be worse. | ||
| This is not getting better. | ||
| Kanye could win. | ||
| He could win. | ||
| I can't take it. | ||
| He could win. | ||
| Can you imagine having years of Kanye, like, Trump shit? | ||
| He'll win for eight years in a row. | ||
| I would throw my TV out. | ||
| They could have a new election every year. | ||
| He'd keep winning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just so people can say President Kanye. | |
| Hey man, is it that bad? | ||
| I mean, what are we getting into right now? | ||
| This is bananas. | ||
| It doesn't seem real. | ||
| I mean, I really am feeling more and more every day like we're living in a simulation. | ||
| And that the simulation is revealing itself to us. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| A guy named Wiener can't stop showing his dick. | ||
| Really? | ||
| How obvious is this goddamn script? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Who's writing this? | ||
| It's Eddie Bravo. | ||
| It's like a 1990s sitcom. | ||
| Eddie Bravo isn't controlling us. | ||
| They had Corey Feldman back on the Today Show. | ||
| Of course they did. | ||
| Dressed all in gold. | ||
| He did another crazy performance. | ||
| He was talking about America and then he accidentally threw a flag on the ground. | ||
| Corey Feldman loses his damn mind again with another Today performance. | ||
| Well, hey man, that's how he's staying relevant. | ||
| He banned me off Twitter after I talked about him last time we talked about him on here. | ||
| He blocked you, you mean? | ||
| He blocked me. | ||
| Did he block you? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I won't check Corey Feldman's Twitter page ever. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| But I'm sure he's a good guy. | ||
| This is what I'm giving him out here. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm saying he's just being super outrageous in order to get attention. | ||
| It's smart. | ||
| Because otherwise they're not going to pay attention. | ||
| It's fucking hard for a guy that's been in movies and had a lot of shit going on that it all kind of goes away. | ||
| And he's just trying to do it himself. | ||
| He's trying to figure out some way. | ||
| Some way to stay an entertainer. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Nothing wrong with it. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| He's doing weird stuff. | ||
| But I get it. | ||
| I mean, look, we're talking about him. | ||
| Because he's doing weird stuff. | ||
| He does questionable things, though. | ||
| Do you think that it's on purpose weird? | ||
| Or do you think he's just a weird dude and that's the kind of art he likes to make? | ||
| I mean, the whole Feldman angel thing really is gross and creepy and awful. | ||
| So I think he's just untalented. | ||
| And he thinks he's talented. | ||
| Like, he's that in denial. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Could be a grand Andy Kaufman-esque performance. | ||
| Could be, but if you've watched any... | ||
| Epic magnitude. | ||
| It's the album cover for his double disc that he's releasing. | ||
| Angelic to the core. | ||
| Hey, rock on, Corey Feldman. | ||
| We ain't hating on you, dude. | ||
| I'm not hating on you. | ||
| Look at the eraser tool around this. | ||
| Go have some fun. | ||
| That's what he likes, man. | ||
| He's at a party. | ||
| He sells like $20 videos or something like that. | ||
| If you pay him PayPal him $20, he'll be like, he'll read something for you. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| And he does it in characters like when he was in Lost Boys who has the same jacket on and stuff like that. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I forget which comic. | ||
| There's one of our buddies just spends like $20 a week just getting a new video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, that's probably a smart way to make money. | ||
| I bet he can churn out fucking dozens of those in an hour, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If he's just doing that... | ||
| That's just reminding me of the story I've been hearing recently. | ||
| You know, all the Comic-Con conventions, there's not just one now, there's multiple. | ||
| They're all over the country. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And they have old TV stars come in to be on them. | ||
| They're making, from what I heard, hundreds of thousands of dollars per convention, leaving with cash and bags. | ||
| Because it's at least $20 a photo, if not $40 or $50 or $80 if you're signing them. | ||
| And it's a deal they're making with the photographer that's taking the photo and the convention. | ||
| And then the person who the actual star is gets the rest of it. | ||
| And they're making a lot of money. | ||
| Like really old people making. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I can give you an example. | ||
| Well, I've said this before on the podcast when I saw Daisy Duke, the girl that played Daisy Duke at a comic convention. | ||
| Katherine Bach? | ||
| Yeah, she was just sitting there by herself. | ||
| No one knew who she was, just sitting there. | ||
| And then I'm like, holy shit, Daisy Duke's just sitting there. | ||
| And so I came up and was like, oh, can I get a picture? | ||
| And she's like, sure, it's going to be 20 bucks. | ||
| And so she was just making money. | ||
| I had to use my own camera, but she was charging 20 bucks just for me to take a picture with her. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, so it was pretty sad. | ||
| I just saw that... | ||
| That's fucking weird, man. | ||
| That's a weird practice, right? | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| The guy who played Thor would earn a little over $350,000 in a weekend. | ||
| Robert Downey Jr. would make about $1.5 million for his appearance at Comic-Con. | ||
| And then it goes down to say how much... | ||
| An autograph from John Kustak was like $70. | ||
| But he's probably not there. | ||
| So wait a minute. | ||
| So these guys go there and take pictures with people for money? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ralph Macchio cost $40 for a photo op. | ||
| Ugh. | ||
| But his co-star, C. Thomas Howell. | ||
| What were the ones you were saying in the millions? | ||
| You said Robert Downey Jr.? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Robert Downey Jr. takes pictures of people for money? | ||
| Yeah, he's probably not doing that, but that's for him to show up just at the event. | ||
| Oh, that's his price. | ||
| So just to get him to show up? | ||
| And be in the main hall to say, like, hey, here's the new Avengers trailer. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| How baller is that guy? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| That's insane. | ||
| That's a lot of money, man. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Just to show up. | ||
| Hey, dude, just come to my thing and I'll give you a million bucks. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Okay, but I'm only talking a couple lines. | ||
| Okay, good, good, good. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| Just smile. | ||
| It costs like $200 for a ticket for the weekend just to go to Comic-Con. | ||
| Just to hang out with everyone. | ||
| That's pretty much what Paris Hilton does nowadays. | ||
| She just makes appearances and gets shitloads of cash, buys nude puppies for $10,000. | ||
| Yeah, appearances are big, right? | ||
| It's like the way people who don't have an act perform. | ||
| They show up. | ||
| I'm here. | ||
| Like just being there is your performance. | ||
| And now she's a DJ. She literally just presses play and just waves her arms around for like an hour and that's it. | ||
| It's good. | ||
| She probably has someone else do it for her. | ||
| Like someone else concocts the music or does she concoct her own music? | ||
| She just gets a CD and she presses play and turns knobs here and there to make it look like she's doing some typical DJ stuff nowadays. | ||
| Russell Peters would get angry. | ||
| He doesn't call that DJing. | ||
| Oh yeah, I know. | ||
| Russell gets furious. | ||
| I've heard some of the bigger DJs that are making money in Vegas, they have two fees for an event like that. | ||
| They have a press play fee, and then they have an actual I'll perform and mix songs fee. | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| Both really expensive. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| I would like to do that at a comedy show. | ||
| I have one fee where I just stand there in front of a tape recorder, and I go like this while my jokes play. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would be hilarious. | |
| I pause. | ||
| I do my whole act like that. | ||
| They got another fever. | ||
| I actually do the stand-up. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| That's so rude. | ||
| Have you ever ate one of the hottest peppers in the world? | ||
| Like any of those peppers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you ever eat one of those peppers? | |
| I'd probably try it just to see what the fuss is all about. | ||
| But I've had some... | ||
| There used to be a place in Encino called Chili My Soul. | ||
| And it was this, like, super awesome fucking chili place that had, like, the most legit chili. | ||
| Like, they had mild chili, where it didn't fuck with you at all, but then at the top end of the scale, they had, like, some Himalayan death shit. | ||
| They had some chili that you couldn't even fucking believe a person could eat it. | ||
| And I never even tried 10. They have a 10, apparently. | ||
| They had a 10. But I did try a 9 once. | ||
| And they give you, this is how strong the chili is, they give it to you in like a thimble, and I'm not fucking joking. | ||
| It's like a little tiny cup that you would get ketchup at at a shitty diner. | ||
| Those little tiny ones, that's what they give you the chili. | ||
| And I put it in my mouth and immediately start hiccuping. | ||
| Like my body's like freaking out. | ||
| Tears are pouring down my face. | ||
| My snot's pouring out of my nose. | ||
| And that was like a tiny little bite of this stuff. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck? | ||
| My whole tongue was numb. | ||
| I was like, whoa! | ||
| The YouTube videos are like ghost peppers. | ||
| I highly recommend just sitting there and watching this. | ||
| One of my favorite shows is called Hot Ones. | ||
| It's like, I want to do this show so bad. | ||
| I don't know if you've seen it where this guy... | ||
| Answers 10 questions. | ||
| And each one you start off at like tapatio. | ||
| Then it gets hotter, each chicken wing. | ||
| So each one, you take a bite of a chicken wing, and then he'll ask you a question. | ||
| And it starts off to see if you could get all the way to the end. | ||
| And the end is like the hottest one. | ||
| So it's really interesting to see who can do it and who can't. | ||
| You think it's genetic? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Tommy Chung did it. | ||
| He did it? | ||
| All the way? | ||
| I think there was some shenanigans. | ||
| Oh, dear. | ||
| The first three, even the Tapatio one, he goes, oh, this is hot. | ||
| But then he gets to the end. | ||
| He wasn't breaking a sweat where other people are gagging about to die. | ||
| It's Mexican, though. | ||
| No, it's Japanese. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Eddie Wong couldn't handle that hot shit. | ||
| He went for it first and almost started barfing. | ||
| He ate the hot one first and then he touched his dick with it. | ||
| Oh, holla! | ||
| Anyways, Burt Kreischer did one of my favorite episodes. | ||
| Shout out to Hot Ones. | ||
| So, Jamie just pulled this up while we were talking. | ||
| This guy does a bong rip with a Carolina Reaper. | ||
| A Carolina Reaper is apparently the top of the food chain when it comes to the hot peppers. | ||
| One of them, yeah. | ||
| They say it's the hottest. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| I thought it was that other one, but I think I read recently, yeah. | ||
| I think I read recently that Carolina Reaper's the hottest. | ||
| See, I want to know, would that really do anything, though? | ||
| You're burning it, you know? | ||
| I don't know if that would actually... | ||
| This might be a fucking bullshit. | ||
| What is he doing? | ||
| It's just a gif of exactly what happens to me the second after he takes the hit. | ||
| It's like three minutes of him coughing and snot starts flying out of his nose. | ||
| Oh, let's watch. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| That's... | ||
| Do we have something better to do? | ||
| I don't think this is... | ||
| Go full screen, please. | ||
| Don't let anybody see it. | ||
| So this guy's got the Carolina Reaper. | ||
| Here's, if you want to watch it online, Ted Barris bong rips the Carolina Reaper. | ||
| And then, uh, asterisk puke warning. | ||
| Original video. | ||
| Here he goes. | ||
| This guy's just telling you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought I'm gonna fucking take a Carolina Reaper. | |
| Oh, Jesus. | ||
| And I'm gonna bong rip one. | ||
| Oh, my goodness. | ||
| I don't think that would do anything. | ||
| Let's try it. | ||
| Find out. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| Let us know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I am a professional, though, when it comes to bong rips. | |
| I'm a bud tender, so, uh... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bud tender. | |
| Bud tender. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| Don't say that again. | ||
| Bud tender? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Is that what they're calling them now? | ||
| That's like that barista at Starbucks. | ||
| I have issues with that. | ||
| It's like the guy at the restaurant that wants to get really fancy with the wines and explain to you... | ||
| The sommelier. | ||
| Yeah, the sommelier that wants to get really crazy and tell you what part of the world it's growing in, why the grapes are so important there. | ||
| I'm a bud tender. | ||
| Well, okay, this is going to give you that stony high. | ||
| The most important thing here is no more than three hits. | ||
| Dude, trust me. | ||
| I know you like to go deep. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| Three hits and you're going to be beautiful. | ||
| It'll be mellow. | ||
| This is more like an earthy, nutty sort of a... | ||
| They always tell me, like, the girls are like, I always smoke this and I start cleaning my whole house. | ||
| It makes me so energetic. | ||
| Bitch, you ain't cleaning your own ass. | ||
| Liar. | ||
| There is definitely some weed I've had that makes me feel like cleaning my house. | ||
| Well, you just look around and you go, what am I doing with my fucking life? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Edibles do that to me. | ||
| Edibles freak me out, man. | ||
| I had a bad edible the other day. | ||
| Everybody does. | ||
| If you take edibles, you're going to have bad. | ||
| But the good side of those is almost every time I've had a bad one, I come out of it And I realized, like, whatever was bothering me, like whatever issues or whatever paranoia, whatever weirdness, I look at it from a different way. | ||
| I look at it in a better way. | ||
| Oh, here he is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See, I don't believe this. | |
| That's not real. | ||
| Bad acting. | ||
| Oh, he's gonna keep digging. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Have you ever hit some really harsh weed that just immediately tastes terrible? | ||
| Yeah, well, here's the thing, man. | ||
| We don't know that the oils from the pepper are transmitted in the air. | ||
| We really don't know. | ||
| And that looks like overacting from a hillbilly. | ||
| Maybe a little bit, but he's trying to get some views too. | ||
| He knows what he's doing with that, but it's still like... | ||
| No, man, he might be seriously experiencing the oils. | ||
| I mean, do you think the oils from the pepper, that's where the heat is? | ||
| You think he can carry in the smoke? | ||
| Must be, right? | ||
| Something. | ||
| If it can transmit just from your skin to your dick. | ||
| Right, of course. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| Yeah, this guy's fucked. | ||
| This is real, dude. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Yeah, I think this guy's fucksville. | ||
| It doesn't seem like a good idea, either way. | ||
| Anyway, watch this video. | ||
| Support it. | ||
| Give it a view, folks. | ||
| Don't go smoke in Carolina. | ||
| There's this one guy that does it at Vegas. | ||
| He, like, walks around on the streets in Vegas and goes, Hey, you know, will you eat one of these peppers? | ||
| It's the hottest peppers. | ||
| I mean, you can eat it. | ||
| I'll give you 20 bucks. | ||
| And it's just destroying people's lives here, like families. | ||
| Like, I'll do it for 20 bucks. | ||
| I'd like a little hot spicy pepper. | ||
| You know, but they're eating, like, those peppers and just, like, puking and crying. | ||
| Is it toxic? | ||
| It's not... | ||
| You could probably get sued for... | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, is it toxic to the person? | ||
| I mean, is a person eating a Carolina Reaper, is that toxic? | ||
| This is the guy. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What does it say there? | ||
| Paying people to eat the world's house. | ||
| This guy's a complete asshole, too. | ||
| Well, I think you have to be if you're having people eat the world's hottest pepper. | ||
| He's holding this guy's... | ||
| At the end of this video, he acts like such a dick to this chick that made me hate this guy. | ||
| He's like a prick. | ||
| I think I've seen another video of his. | ||
| He's a prankster that does stiff on the street in the strip in Vegas. | ||
| He might be getting away with that. | ||
| Can't you do... | ||
| You can do things in Vegas. | ||
| Yeah, that's why... | ||
| What was the Comedy Central show? | ||
| Crank Yankers. | ||
| We don't have to see people throw up anymore. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crank Yankers. | ||
| Yeah, Crank Yankers. | ||
| Yeah, they used to do that in Vegas because you could just call people up. | ||
| Yeah, that's the problem with TV nowadays is half these shows are like that, but they're all... | ||
| Like, there's a show. | ||
| I don't want to say what it is. | ||
| I don't want to say what network it is on because people hate me so much when I talk shit on this network. | ||
| But this show is a prank show where they pay all the people in it so that all the people that are getting pranked know they're getting pranked, but they sell it as a real show and it drives me crazy. | ||
| Well, how do you know they know they're getting pranked before the prank happens? | ||
| Because I know somebody that... | ||
| Did it, let's just say. | ||
| He got paid to be a, okay, so we're going to come in here, we're going to make a fart sound, and you're going to, you know, like... | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, and it's on a channel that's... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| I just hate that shit. | ||
| How do they get away with that? | ||
| Do they say it's a scripted show? | ||
| Do they say written by... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably. | |
| Or do you think they just hope that... | ||
| Well, is it... | ||
| Like, here's the question, right? | ||
| Is that different than, like... | ||
| See, that's a prank. | ||
| A prank is almost like a sketch, right? | ||
| So if you have a set-up sketch like that, that's a bigger deception than a reality show... | ||
| Where you already know what you're going to do during that day, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, what's a reality show? | ||
| Like, oh, we're all going to go to the football game, you know, my son's playing football, today's his big day, and all the cameras are there, yay, go Mickey, and everybody cheers. | ||
| Like, they know that they were going to do that, but it is at least technically like a real thing you can do. | ||
| It's a real thing, meaning they were going to do it if the cameras were there or not. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But they know the cameras are there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| So I consider that, like, duh, they know the cameras are there. | ||
| I've accepted this. | ||
| But it's real. | ||
| One of my favorite shows is The Prophet. | ||
| Yeah, but it's a lie, though. | ||
| All of it is a lie. | ||
| It's different than the other thing. | ||
| The other thing is, like, they're going to the game. | ||
| Yay, yay, we're cheering. | ||
| We're aware of the cameras. | ||
| We're acting aware because of it. | ||
| But the other one, you're pretending that you didn't know that that fart sound was playing. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's like it's not really acting Like, you're being deceptive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is deceptive. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, it's not... | ||
| You guys aren't doing a sketch about a prank show. | ||
| You're doing an actual prank show. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The only one reason to watch an actual prank show is to see people legitimately get, what? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| People come up to people, and a lot of people act in weird ways. | ||
| You've ever had someone come up to you, and you don't know who they are, and they touch you, and they've got their hands on you, and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, who are you? | ||
| What's this? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| So people get weird and defensive. | ||
| Like, that's a real prank show. | ||
| That's why, like, Ali G, in his prime, and that Ali G character, some of the all-time best prank interviews ever. | ||
| I mean, some of his shit was fucking hilarious. | ||
| Now, could you imagine if you found out that those people on the other side were in on it? | ||
| Like, remember, didn't he do one with Ron Paul? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| He did one with Buzz Aldrin. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How do you tell if the moon is made out of cheese? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I forgot about that. | |
| He had a bunch of ridiculous fucking interviews with people where they had no idea. | ||
| They thought he was a guy from an MTV show that had come to do interviews with him. | ||
| Check it! | ||
| He was the best! | ||
| He was the best! | ||
| If you found out those were all fraudulent, Wouldn't you be mad? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's why it pisses me so off. | ||
| Like, that's one of the things that drives me crazy about this network, because they have a lot of these shows just like that, where they're selling things that... | ||
| But is that okay if it's good? | ||
| It's not good when you know it's fake, though. | ||
| You can tell it's fake. | ||
| A lot of the actors are such bad actors that you don't even need to know somebody that's working on it. | ||
| You just watch and go, oh, God, because they at least got good actors, you know? | ||
| Like... | ||
| It's that bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's garbage TV. I hate garbage TV. But maybe in a way... | |
| Maybe in a way it's good. | ||
| If you're really that stoned, I guess it's good. | ||
| Yeah, maybe in a way it's good because it's so stupid. | ||
| Like, there's a show that I like. | ||
| Have you seen Impractical Jokers? | ||
| No, I haven't not. | ||
| But I've heard it's really good. | ||
| Stan Hope likes it. | ||
| It's very funny. | ||
| But what if they keep doing it really bad? | ||
| What I'm saying is, like, if it sucks, I don't know it sucks because I haven't seen it, but if it sucks as hard as you say it sucks, some things that suck become awesome. | ||
| They suck, and then you go to see them later, or you see them when you're high, or you go to see them knowing that they suck, like Showgirls. | ||
| Remember Showgirls? | ||
| Goddamn, dude, that's one of my all-time favorite ridiculous movies. | ||
| That's totally different, though. | ||
| Right, but you know what I'm saying? | ||
| That's sexy and hot and awesome. | ||
| Troll 2, it's like the worst movie ever made, but everyone loves it or something like that. | ||
| There's like a documentary about how everyone loves it. | ||
| It's so stupid, dude. | ||
| It's so stupid, but it's awesome. | ||
| You know, but they have to be shitty on accident. | ||
| Like Waterworld. | ||
| Like a movie that... | ||
| Or worse. | ||
| Way worse. | ||
| The Postman. | ||
| And you gotta give him credit, because, you know, Kevin Costner's the man, and he did Wyatt Earp, which I really liked. | ||
| He did Dances with Wolves. | ||
| Dance Waterworld. | ||
| You're gonna have a few fuck-ups in there, bro. | ||
| Just didn't work out. | ||
| But... | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I haven't seen Costner in a while. | ||
| I think he's doing some new thing for HBO, I believe, too. | ||
| It can't be on purpose. | ||
| You can't make something bad on purpose. | ||
| Yes, you can't make something bad on purpose. | ||
| My point being, a movie like Showgirls, and there's a few other ones you could go back to. | ||
| Roadhouse. | ||
| Roadhouse in a lot of ways. | ||
| I fucking love Roadhouse, but it's so dumb. | ||
| It's so dumb. | ||
| When you watch it, it's awesome. | ||
| It becomes really good. | ||
| It goes away from being just a statement. | ||
| Just a badass action movie, and it becomes a comedy. | ||
| It really does morph, especially over time. | ||
| Because what it's like is something you had to plant, and it had to grow. | ||
| And as culture grew around Roadhouse, Roadhouse is, in a lot of ways, it's a time capsule. | ||
| Because it captures how fucking ridiculous people were in the year that it was made, where you could see what people accepted back then. | ||
| You could see how lame the script is, how ridiculous the dialogue is, how preposterous the fucking plot is. | ||
| There's a bad guy. | ||
| I've been screwing this town over and I'm going to keep screwing him over. | ||
| You've been screwing up this town for too long. | ||
| I'm going to keep screwing him over too. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| It's so bad that it becomes awesome. | ||
| Are you worried about the potential new one they're going to make? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The thought behind it might be they're going to try to make something badly awesome again, but... | ||
| Sharnado it. | ||
| Bad intentions. | ||
| Here's what I think. | ||
| I think... | ||
| You piggyback... | ||
| And this is coming from a guy who did The Man Show 2, me and Stanhope. | ||
| But I think you piggyback... | ||
| When you're confined to the idea, like you piggyback on the love that the original Roadhouse had, right? | ||
| Because it's a classic movie. | ||
| You piggyback on that love, and you're already in a deficit. | ||
| It's like the Ghostbusters thing, you know, which, by the way, wasn't a good movie. | ||
| It was a good movie for a little bit, though. | ||
| There was some funny shit in Ghostbusters, but then it got monotonous, and I didn't enjoy the end. | ||
| I thought you told me you loved it. | ||
| I love some parts of it, I said. | ||
| I bought it based on your recommendation. | ||
| I did not say I loved it. | ||
| I definitely did not say I loved it. | ||
| It just wasn't a good show. | ||
| At the end of it, I was like, wow, this is like... | ||
| It seems like too many people fucked with it. | ||
| It's like one of those things where sometimes you look at a movie and you go, what... | ||
| There's so much going on here, so much special effects. | ||
| Like, the special effects were so monumental. | ||
| The one at the end that used to be the donut guy or the Pillsbury Doughboy in the original Ghostbusters, that fucking thing is taken to this crazy new CGI level where they're going into, spoiler alert, they're going into other dimensions, retrieving their friends, and it's fucking craziness. | ||
| Fucking craziness. | ||
| But there were some funny moments in the beginning of that movie where I laughed pretty hard. | ||
| I was like, this is a funny fucking movie. | ||
| But then it just lost its way. | ||
| I felt. | ||
| But it's hard to make a movie, man. | ||
| I bought that Godzilla movie that came out like two years ago. | ||
| That was dog shit. | ||
| You didn't like it? | ||
| I thought it was okay. | ||
| The guy from Breaking Bad in it and stuff. | ||
| He was great. | ||
| He's great in everything. | ||
| But I was like, God, it's so corny. | ||
| You know they're making another one, right? | ||
| This one's being made by, I think it's being made in Japan. | ||
| So it's like the way they originally made Here's my problem with it. | ||
| I shouldn't say it's corny because I love monster movies and I definitely don't want to discourage monster movies and I'll absolutely see it next time it comes out. | ||
| The problem is, there's a dude in this movie, spoiler alert, the original Godzilla, not the original but the most recent one, the one with the guy from Breaking Bad. | ||
| There's a dude that keeps fucking surviving. | ||
| This guy, I mean, he falls off buildings. | ||
| He's in earthquakes. | ||
| They dig him out of the bottom of the fucking earth. | ||
| He's dust himself off. | ||
| I'm gonna go fight Godzilla. | ||
| His fucking family's waiting back for him. | ||
| It's just a tornado of cliches that literally makes you travel back in time to the 1960s. | ||
| It's so corny. | ||
| They look at each other in the eye at some point, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it's so corny! | |
| It's also a big green monster. | ||
| Yeah, but I think you could do that big green monster with the kind of people that write... | ||
| Game of Thrones. | ||
| Or the kind of people that are writing this Westworld show. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Westworld is good! | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| Ed fucking Harris is playing the Yul Brynner character from the movie Westworld from 1973. And now they made a series of it on HBO and it's amazing. | ||
| People are like, it's not even amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're fucking terrible tasting shows. | |
| I can't. | ||
| Listen, it's fucking good. | ||
| This is a really good show. | ||
| It's complex. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| There's all these patterns that you don't expect. | ||
| There's a lot of weird shit going on. | ||
| It's a strange kind of violence because it's like a robot violence. | ||
| Robot? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, this movie is a trip. | ||
| Or this show, rather, is a trip. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| And it just keeps getting better. | ||
| I spent like $25 million on the pilot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Anthony Hopkins is in it. | ||
| Ed Harris is fucking fantastic in this show. | ||
| He freaks me out at home. | ||
| I'm at home and I'm on my couch. | ||
| I'm like, please don't let that boogeyman come get me. | ||
| Ed Harris, you forget what a bad motherfucker he is until you watch this show. | ||
| Wow, this looks really interesting. | ||
| I thought it was just a cowboy show. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's about Westworld. | ||
| The movie Westworld was all about a place where you would go where you'd have these shoot-em-ups with robots. | ||
| And the robots eventually smarten up and rebel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And that's what this show is about. | ||
| It's, fuck it, there's Ed Harris. | ||
| Dude, I'm telling you, I kind of forgot how good of an actor Ed Harris is. | ||
| You watch him in this movie and you're like, this guy's one of the most untalked about best actors ever. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| He's so creepy in this fucking show. | ||
| I'm watching this tonight. | ||
| Dude, he's so good it freaks me out. | ||
| Like, I really believe him. | ||
| You know, I really believe he's a psychotic madman that can't be killed. | ||
| It's fucking awesome, man. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| I recommend Mr. Robot, but everybody said that to you. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have that time. | ||
| I don't have time for that nonsense. | ||
| You would love it! | ||
| It's right up your alley, I promise. | ||
| I have time for one robot. | ||
| Christian Slater. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| This is the problem with movies like Godzilla. | ||
| No disrespect to Godzilla. | ||
| Again, I love a good monster movie. | ||
| I watched the fucking Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro like five times. | ||
| I don't even like it. | ||
| I thought it was corny, but I watched it like five times just because I love a fucking werewolf movie. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| It's cool. | ||
| When you do movies like Godzilla, and you have these kind of really cookie-cutter, cliche, CBS drama type, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's like a show. | ||
| It's not a bad show, but like a TV show. | ||
| It's kind of obvious what's happening. | ||
| They wrap it up nice and tight at the end. | ||
| Mwah! | ||
| And you have to compete against Game of Thrones. | ||
| Game of Thrones, which goes season, it's like a movie every week. | ||
| And it goes season after season of chaos and awesomeness and amazing writing. | ||
| Like, you can't just have that dude living over and over again, getting trampled by Godzilla. | ||
| Oh, I'm fine, let me just... | ||
| Back to fucking this fucking dinosaur up. | ||
| This dude just keeps getting his ass kicked. | ||
| He's falling out of helicopters into the ocean, swim to shore, and fuck up Godzilla. | ||
| He just keeps surviving, and it's driving me nuts. | ||
| He doesn't even have a coma, no concussion, no broken bones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I fucked up my neck in the shower once, dude. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I turned around to try to grab some shampoo and I popped some in my neck and I had to drive to Vegas that day. | ||
| And I drove to Vegas like this. | ||
| This fucking dude's getting launched off the top of buildings and dinosaurs are chasing him. | ||
| And in the end, he sticks around to watch the fight out. | ||
| You know how bad you'd be shitting your fucking pants if you were in a boat off the coast of Seattle and a 600-pound lizard was duking it out with another 600-pound lizard? | ||
| And they're fucking going to war with fire breath and one of them opens up the other one's head and blows fire into it? | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| You would not be sitting there going, Yeah! | ||
| Godzilla! | ||
| Go get him! | ||
| That thing's gonna fuck you up too, stupid. | ||
| It's gonna fuck up everything. | ||
| It's not gonna care about these ants in these buildings. | ||
| You wouldn't be watching that. | ||
| You can't say those people wouldn't be screaming and crying and spasming and snot pouring down their nose and terrified because their eyes must be deceiving them. | ||
| They're watching a 600-foot lizard that lives in the ocean and blows fire out of its fucking mouth and it's knocking over buildings like they're little cardboard boxes. | ||
| What? | ||
| You're just sitting off the coast watching this? | ||
| You'd be shitting your pants! | ||
| There's not enough cool in the world to just sit there and watch that. | ||
| You'd be like, fuck, how far is Australia? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| You'd just get to a plane or to a boat. | ||
| You'd get in a traffic jam. | ||
| People would die. | ||
| They would run over each other and not care. | ||
| They would trample each other like a fire in a building all throughout the land to get the fuck away from a 600-foot fire-breathing lizard. | ||
| So until you show that in the movies, you have failed us in this portrayal. | ||
| What were you going to say? | ||
| This movie actually just came out yesterday. | ||
| What? | ||
| That Godzilla movie. | ||
| No, but that's the fake one. | ||
| That's the one with the dudes. | ||
| It's like a nostalgia. | ||
| That's the Japanese one. | ||
| The guys are wearing suits. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's still good. | ||
| It's just a different kind. | ||
| It's like the original Godzilla good. | ||
| I would like to see that. | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
| It actually got good reviews. | ||
| And it actually looks really cool. | ||
| Look, the movie Godzilla and the idea of Godzilla is very fun. | ||
| The ocean is fucking huge, folks. | ||
| And there's whales in it. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So, we know that there's something as big as a Godzilla, sort of. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Like, what's a big whale? | ||
| How many hundreds of feet is a big whale? | ||
| There's the size comparison of the Godzillas of all of them. | ||
| Yeah, they all get bigger. | ||
| We need bigger. | ||
| We need double-doubles and big gulps. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Double-doubles. | |
| We need big gulps in our Godzillas. | ||
| What did I just ask you, Jamie? | ||
| Whale. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| How big is the biggest whale? | ||
| What's the sperm? | ||
| Is it a sperm whale? | ||
| A blue whale? | ||
| How much? | ||
| 30 meters. | ||
| 98 feet. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Okay, so that's still quite a bit smaller than Godzilla, but if a whale can be real, and a whale is 93 feet long, and you are 5'8", Okay, so we know one thing can be way bigger, right? | ||
| Because I'm 5'8", but my daughter is a hamster, and that little fucker fits in my hand. | ||
| So, let's start thinking here. | ||
| What's to stop something from getting Godzilla-sized? | ||
| So far, we haven't really seen anything other than the dinosaurs, but they never really got Godzilla-sized either. | ||
| But it doesn't mean that it couldn't happen. | ||
| I mean, someone probably has an argument against the gravity effect on something that large, like how much mass you'd have to be moving around, how big your muscles and bones would have to be. | ||
| Don't they say that that happens to certain animals at a certain size? | ||
| It just becomes impractical due to the environment of Earth? | ||
| And that's one of the things that they thought was the reason why the dinosaurs were so huge, was that the atmosphere might have been different then. | ||
| And that it might have been a different kind of atmosphere that allowed them to move more easily. | ||
| Which is really fascinating, right? | ||
| More oxygen. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Well, I think it was way warmer, right? | ||
| Wasn't that? | ||
| It was real tropical, I think they think, during the dinosaur days. | ||
| Obviously not everywhere. | ||
| I'm sure they probably had polar ice caps even back then. | ||
| But I think the temperature in the Jurassic and the other... | ||
| Here we go here. | ||
| Dinosaur air at five times today's CO2. There you go. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Listen to that, folks. | ||
| Okay, so they had, they knew a world, the dinosaurs that roamed the Earth 250 million years ago knew a world with five times more carbon dioxide than present on Earth today. | ||
| Researchers say, and new techniques for estimating the amount of carbon dioxide on prehistoric Earth may help scientists predict how Earth's climate may change in the future. | ||
| Fuck, dude, we're gonna have dinosaurs. | ||
| We fucked up. | ||
| We fucked up. | ||
| We had coal power plants and we're going to make dinosaurs. | ||
| Those lizards are just going to keep getting bigger and bigger and all the liberals are going to go, we have to keep them alive because they're an important part of our ecosystem and they are our scaly friends. | ||
| And then the alligators just keep getting bigger and alligators get to be like 30 feet long and people go, hey, what's going on? | ||
| Why are the alligators so big? | ||
| Like, they're getting bigger. | ||
| Do you guys know? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| These are just unusual examples. | ||
| These are outliers. | ||
| These are outliers of our scaly friends. | ||
| And, you know, I don't size shame as a human or with animals. | ||
| And big alligators don't. | ||
| Next thing you know, alligators are 300 feet long. | ||
| And they're just smashing through buildings, eating your kids. | ||
| Jurassic Park was technically real. | ||
| Well, what if alligators keep growing like my story that I'm talking about right now? | ||
| I know, it's not too far off of that. | ||
| Like, would you go visit it? | ||
| I want to keep talking about my story! | ||
| Jesus, Jamie. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I'm just saying that at one point in time, if alligators keep getting bigger, they're gonna have to say, okay, they're too big, we gotta kill them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We can't have them wandering around if they're 50 feet long and they just want to kill people. | ||
| We can't do that, right? | ||
| So my point is, they accept alligators up to a certain size. | ||
| Right now, that alligator on the golf course video, which got millions and millions of hits, that alligator is 15 feet long. | ||
| That alligator is on the border. | ||
| Like, okay, we're letting that thing live? | ||
| You don't let this 15 foot long monster just roam around? | ||
| And everybody's like, hey, we always have before. | ||
| Okay, okay, okay, we're cool, we're cool. | ||
| But if he's 30 feet long, you're not gonna be out there, right? | ||
| If he's 90 feet long like a fucking whale, you're not gonna be out there. | ||
| No one's gonna be out there and you're not gonna be safe. | ||
| That's a giant carnivore. | ||
| So my point was, when do we shoot that thing? | ||
| I don't know, would you shoot it or would you capture it? | ||
| SCI World Record Stokes. | ||
| Stokes? | ||
| Is that Stokes or Stakes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stokes. | |
| Stokes? | ||
| Stokes Alligator. | ||
| What's a Stokes Alligator? | ||
| Is that a type of alligator? | ||
| 15 feet 9 inches long. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| God. | ||
| Oh, see that's an SCI. You know what that means? | ||
| That's Safari Club International. | ||
| That's like, it might be. | ||
| Make sure that I'm correct there. | ||
| But that's one of those organizations that measures the largest animals of each species that were killed hunting. | ||
| So that might be what that is. | ||
| See if that's right. | ||
| Is that the SCI? What is Stokes? | ||
| What does it keep saying? | ||
| Oh, their name. | ||
| Mandy Stokes. | ||
| Told the website. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They killed it. | ||
| They killed that thing. | ||
| There it goes. | ||
| So that she went through with a range of emotions as they first stalked the animal before baiting it, or battling it, and killing it. | ||
| Finally struggling to take it, and finally struggling to take it back to shore. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| Alligator meat is supposed to be super good for you, which is really kind of crazy, right? | ||
| You look at that thing, like how could you eat that fucking thing? | ||
| But apparently their tails are delicious. | ||
| You just have to prepare it properly and you get it like right off the alligator. | ||
| Didn't they hunt those things? | ||
| Didn't that place we used to always go to in Texas have, like, alligator soup? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Joey's favorite place. | ||
| Papa Do's? | ||
| Papa Do's. | ||
| Was it Papa Do's? | ||
| Yeah, Papa Do's. | ||
| And the hotel was right next door. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| There's more than one Do's. | ||
| There's, like, a Papa Do's, and there's a seafood one, and the Cajun one, right? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| There's a steakhouse. | ||
| It's like a bunch of chains, right? | ||
| Yeah, it's a chain, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I think if you get alligator, you gotta get it from someone who shot the alligator. | ||
| Like, I think, or get it from a chef that knows how to get it, like, when it's really fresh. | ||
| It's supposed to be amazing. | ||
| It's a really uncomfortable subject for people. | ||
| At what point in time are we in danger? | ||
| And what point in time do we step in? | ||
| Like if grizzly bears just start wandering the streets and eating people, are we gonna have the same feeling that we have about them in the woods? | ||
| No, we're not going to. | ||
| So we're gonna have to do something then, right? | ||
| Yeah, okay, just checking. | ||
| I just want to check. | ||
| I just want to know what team you're on. | ||
| I'm not saying we need to go to the woods and clean out the grizzly bears. | ||
| I just want to know. | ||
| If the grizzly bears come to Burbank, okay, we can stop that, right? | ||
| We can shoot them, right? | ||
| If the grizzly bears just start eating people in Burbank, you're on team people, right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I'm not saying we should kill them in Yellowstone. | ||
| Hey, live and let live. | ||
| Let those big giant monsters go wander through the woods. | ||
| Have a good time. | ||
| Eat your hiker. | ||
| Occasional. | ||
| Occasional hiker. | ||
| Just stay the fuck out of San Francisco, right? | ||
| If grizzlies start wandering through San Francisco, Fuck that. | ||
| Dude, I was in this town near Bakersfield called LeBeck, and it's named after a dude named Peter LeBeck, who is purportedly the last man in California to get killed by a grizzly bear. | ||
| So I went to the website to read about this dude, and as we're reading it, I'm reading that his feet were bitten off. | ||
| This is not funny. | ||
| I know it's not funny. | ||
| His feet were bitten off. | ||
| One of his hands was gone. | ||
| This bear just fucked him up. | ||
| And they named the town after him. | ||
| After the guy died, like, in his honor, they named this town after the last guy to get killed by a grizzly bear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So, like, people that go, hey, you know, they've ruined California. | |
| The grizzly bear is extinct from California. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Let Montana have the fucking grizzlies. | ||
| You don't want them here. | ||
| Just trust me. | ||
| I know they seem so romantic. | ||
| They seem so lovely when you're on television. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| And there's a spot for them on Earth. | ||
| That's great, too. | ||
| But this idea of bringing them back, like, what do you want to be? | ||
| One of those pioneers that's scared to get to your fucking recyclable bin in the middle of the night? | ||
| You're terrified because your neighborhood is filled with bears and lions and shit? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| 30-foot-long crocodiles wandering down your neighborhood? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Gotta shoot those things, goddammit. | ||
| They found the story of him because it was written into a tree. | ||
| Did you read that? | ||
| What? | ||
| Say what? | ||
| Say what? | ||
| I'm looking up the story about him. | ||
| He keeps talking about this inscription written on a tree that was found when people were passing through in the 1850s. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Do you think if we didn't have teddy bears as kids, we would not be so attached to bears? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| There was a story written on the tree and then they dug him up and his bones were, you know, that way, torn apart. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what it was. | ||
| Now that I refresh my memory, I'd forgotten it was written somewhere. | ||
| I didn't know it was on a tree. | ||
| I thought it was a note. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Fuck bears, dude. | ||
| Seriously, fuck them. | ||
| Again, I'm not for eradicating bears, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I just want to be clear. | ||
| I love them. | ||
| I'm glad they exist. | ||
| They're cool. | ||
| Just like lions are cool. | ||
| I don't want lions in Burbank. | ||
| You know, a whole Cecil the Lion thing. | ||
| Let's not get carried away, folks. | ||
| Let's not. | ||
| Don't bring them over here. | ||
| Don't get crazy. | ||
| There's a guy who wants to bring them over to England. | ||
| Do you know the guy who is the When Wolves Created Rivers guy? | ||
| The guy where the wolves changed rivers, he made this really cool documentary or a video that shows what the- it's been criticized, I don't know who's right, but to me it's interesting and it makes a lot of really cool points. | ||
| And one of the things was that these wolves, when they reintroduced them to Yellowstone, they started killing the elk and killing the deer and that allowed a lot of the plants to grow better, which allowed a lot of the rivers to change the course of the rivers because the root system got stronger. | ||
| And all these other animals survived and thrived. | ||
| They all did better because they weren't the prey of the wolf, but they were benefiting from the elk and the deer not being around anymore. | ||
| And so it's really cool to see how when they introduce a predator into an area, it's almost like you're watching a mathematical program. | ||
| Like you introduce this, and it's a really controversial subject because a lot of elk hunters in particular... | ||
| We're really mad when they brought these wolves in because they killed half the elk population. | ||
| They chopped them down to 50%. | ||
| But some people think that is probably overall healthy for the actual animals themselves. | ||
| It's like a more honest life. | ||
| It's not really honest for these wild cows and undulates to not have any predators. | ||
| They've never had that all throughout history. | ||
| So our idea that we're going to eliminate all the predators and they're just going to run wild... | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Like, that's how you get, like, Michigan, where people are fucking hitting them with cars to the tune of a million a year or something. | ||
| Was it 1.5 million in the whole country for a year, right? | ||
| 200 people dead from colliding with deer. | ||
| You know, so, like, wolves? | ||
| Wolves are important. | ||
| Bears are important. | ||
| They're interesting. | ||
| They're fucking fascinating, man. | ||
| I'm so glad they're around. | ||
| But don't get crazy. | ||
| Don't get fucking crazy. | ||
| The coyotes in my neighborhood, it's getting out of hand, and the crows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love coyotes. | |
| Crows and coyotes out of control. | ||
| I love coyotes, man. | ||
| I do. | ||
| They're fucking cool. | ||
| I mean, I remember the first time I saw one, I was staying at the, um... | ||
| What is those furnished apartments? | ||
| The Oakwoods. | ||
| You know the Oakwoods everybody gets when you first move to Hollywood? | ||
| I was staying at one of those things, man. | ||
| I was driving to the apartment and I saw these fucking dogs running down the street like little German shepherds. | ||
| And it's the first time I'd ever seen a coyote and I realized, holy shit, these are coyotes. | ||
| How weird is this? | ||
| These are little wild predators, just small enough that we let them stay. | ||
| Just small enough. | ||
| If they were hyenas, we would be gunning them down from the top of buses, right? | ||
| If hyenas were roaming down the street, tearing apart dogs and shit, we'd be terrified. | ||
| But hyenas are just dicky enough to slip under the radar, like they eat a cat every now and then. | ||
| Don't leave your cat out, bro! | ||
| I'm gonna eat your fucking cat! | ||
| We, like, tolerate that this little predator will eat your dog. | ||
| Like, he'll snatch your dog right out of your yard and hop over the fence with him. | ||
| You gotta deal with that. | ||
| I saw one kill my chicken. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| Saw that fucker hop over the fence with my chicken in its mouth. | ||
| But I still love them. | ||
| I love them because they're like little criminals. | ||
| They're like skirting the system. | ||
| They're just scary enough that you don't want your kids to be around them, but you're not scared of them. | ||
| They're a little skittish. | ||
| They'd probably fuck you up if they wanted to. | ||
| Like if a coyote really came after you, you'd probably have a real problem. | ||
| You'd probably have a real problem. | ||
| It's like a dog, right? | ||
| It's a lot like a dog. | ||
| Sharp teeth. | ||
| Yeah, but they're more survival oriented. | ||
| They'd be scared. | ||
| If you put up a good fight, like if you booted a coyote in the head, if you got a good roundhouse kick, you know? | ||
| If you're like a Chuck Liddell, like if a coyote tries to fuck with Chuck Liddell, and Chuck Liddell kicks that fucking thing in the head, that coyote's gonna run. | ||
| He's gonna go, what was that? | ||
| Fuck this! | ||
| That's never happened to me before, and they'll just take off. | ||
| Even if he doesn't knock them unconscious, they'll just run and get the fuck away. | ||
| But they'll kill you if you're small. | ||
| If you're a little kid, coyotes will kill you. | ||
| They don't have any morals. | ||
| The only thing they look is there are people around. | ||
| Can I get away with this? | ||
| I'm going to do it. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| They don't have any rules. | ||
| They're goddamn wild animals. | ||
| Remember that 19-year-old singer who was killed in Canada a few years back? | ||
| She's a folk singer. | ||
| She was killed by coyotes. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Dude, it was ugly because they found her. | ||
| She was still alive. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| But here's the thing about coyotes, dude. | ||
| They start eating you ass first. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| Do you have any idea how horrific it must be for a coyote to pull your guts out through your asshole while you're screaming and no one can hear you and you're in the woods? | ||
| That is a demon. | ||
| It's just a demon that only attacks occasionally. | ||
| If coyotes weren't a real thing and there was a murder where a demon from hell came out of the ground and ate a 19 year old aspiring folk singer Threw her asshole, ate her, ripped her guts out, tore apart, and then the demon just disappeared and went into space. | ||
| And we knew that he was going to come back in 30 years. | ||
| That town would live in terror! | ||
| Live in terror of the possibility of something that could commit that kind of an act would return. | ||
| Like it would be looming over us. | ||
| We'd prepare. | ||
| We'd have armor and shit. | ||
| Be waiting for the 30 years to come. | ||
| Meanwhile, they're outside checking out your mail. | ||
| They're sniffing around your garbage cans. | ||
| You hear their nails? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. | |
| My security camera gets in once in a while. | ||
| Of course it does. | ||
| It's creepy. | ||
| Of course it does, man. | ||
| Yeah, they're everywhere. | ||
| They're everywhere. | ||
| I'm having a guy come on soon that is a wildlife biologist that's studying. | ||
| We're trying to coordinate a date. | ||
| He's studying coyotes that live in the city and surprisingly healthy populations of coyotes that live in the city. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of them, man. | ||
| They find places where they can sleep. | ||
| They find places where no one's gonna fuck with them. | ||
| And then that's their spot. | ||
| And then they venture out at night, or venture out at, you know, dusk. | ||
| And they've just figured out a way to fucking avoid people bothering them. | ||
| But they live in cities, man. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Everybody just gets out of their car. | ||
| They get in their house, get in your car, drive off to work. | ||
| You go down here, you go down there. | ||
| How often do you check in that weird alleyway behind your apartment building? | ||
| How often do you check in that place? | ||
| Has anybody checked in that place? | ||
| You know, there's like trees back there for no reason. | ||
| And behind that, there's a fence. | ||
| You ever go look in there? | ||
| It's where coyotes live, motherfucker. | ||
| If you don't go there for a certain amount of time, they find that spot. | ||
| They sniff around like, these dumb fucks don't come here anymore. | ||
| And they'll use that, and they find these spots all around the city, apparently. | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| It's like a weird animal that's just small enough that we'll let it hunt near us. | ||
| I wish there was foxes, more foxes around us. | ||
| Foxes are pretty dope. | ||
| You see that video of the fox laughing? | ||
| No. | ||
| This guy, I guess, has a fox. | ||
| Oh, a pet fox? | ||
| A pet fox. | ||
| And the guy would just be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. | ||
| And the fox just goes, eh, he, he, he, he, he. | ||
| Like, it's just, like, it's so weird. | ||
| Such a weird video. | ||
| Yeah, this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| That's a fox. | ||
| Oh, it's a pet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's got a collar on and everything. | ||
| That's a fox? | ||
| Yeah, look at him. | ||
| Oh my god, he's laughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| That's a hilarious sound. | ||
| It rolls over. | ||
| Fox is probably so happy. | ||
| He's inside a house getting free food. | ||
| He doesn't have to go out there and earn. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Do you ever see the video of the fox with the grizzly man? | ||
| When grizzly man was up... | ||
| In the woods, and the fox and him became buddies. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really beautiful footage. | ||
| I think, honestly, I know I make fun of that movie a lot, because that guy was out of his fucking mind. | ||
| And that's another unintentional comedy. | ||
| This is another perfect example of something that's not supposed to be funny, but it's goddamn hilarious. | ||
| And no disrespect to this guy who got eaten by the bear. | ||
| No disrespect. | ||
| Because I think he really did do a lot of great stuff. | ||
| I think he was a little delusional with his idea that he was saving these bears, but what he did do is got amazing, incredible, up-close footage of grizzly bears involved in all sorts of crazy shit. | ||
| He captured grizzly bear wars at really close range. | ||
| And he did a great job. | ||
| And he developed friendships with these animals like this little fox right here. | ||
| This fox just comes right up to him, man, and is hanging out with him. | ||
| At one point, it steals his hat and playfully runs off with it. | ||
| And he's like, hey, give me that hat back. | ||
| And the fox isn't scared of him, man. | ||
| The fox just thinks it's funny. | ||
| Like, why would the fox take the hat? | ||
| He's just rolling around in it, biting on it. | ||
| It's really adorable. | ||
| And the grizzly man gets mad, so he goes chasing after the fox. | ||
| And it was this weird moment of camaraderie between two life forms that are just hanging out in the woods together. | ||
| That thing accepted him into its community, man. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| Another interesting thing is the wolves killed one of those foxes while he was there. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| They got ahold of that fox and tore it apart. | ||
| They don't want any competing predators. | ||
| Same with coyotes. | ||
| Coyotes. | ||
| Coyotes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Coyote. | |
| Same with coyotes. | ||
| They don't want competing predators. | ||
| That's apparently the main reason why they kill cats. | ||
| They don't even kill them to eat them as much as they kill them because they don't want any predators that are competing for the same things they're competing for. | ||
| So he got this amazing footage of him running after this fox, hanging out with this fox. | ||
| He was like buddies with this little fox. | ||
| And then when the fox kid got eaten by the wolf, he found a paw. | ||
| And you're like, whoa, this world is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gangster! | |
| Like, these little crazy animals make friends with this nutty guy who's camped out in a tent, and while he's camped out in that tent, in the middle of the night, the wolves come into town and tear one of those foxes apart, and he's crying, and he said, I heard the screams, I heard the howls, I heard the wolves. | ||
| I'm like, what in the fuck are you living through, dude? | ||
| Like, you're having monster wars in your yard. | ||
| I need to re-watch that movie. | ||
| Oh, that's so good. | ||
| Or even remember these parts. | ||
| I remember the whole fox a little. | ||
| I've seen it way too many times. | ||
| I've seen that fucking movie 15 times. | ||
| I watch it on planes and I'm bored. | ||
| If I'm bored, I'm like, I'm gonna watch this shit again. | ||
| Did you see that report that there's like 1,300 Chinese old ladies or old people go missing every day? | ||
| Like there's this whole thing where old people just are missing. | ||
| Like daily, 1,300 Chinese old people. | ||
| Wait a minute, so this is recent? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| They're saying it's up to 500,000 old people go missing every year in China. | ||
| What? | ||
| And so there's all these theories like they become food and the government takes them because it costs so much money. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| That's a lot. | ||
| I know. | ||
| 500,000 American old people? | ||
| 500,000 a year. | ||
| Okay, how many people go missing in America every year? | ||
| How many old people go missing in America every year? | ||
| Let's see if there's a difference. | ||
| I think 500,000 seems like a lot, but China has a billion. | ||
| In China, it's 80%. | ||
| 80% of what? | ||
| People that are missing people. | ||
| 80% of missing people are old? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Over 75. No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| What? | ||
| Oh my god, they're killing old people. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They kill babies and old people. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so insane. | ||
| On average in the USA, there's only 90,000 missing persons at any given time. | ||
| Okay, 90,000 missing persons, but in their defense, China has probably three plus times more people than we do. | ||
| But that's close. | ||
| That's close and you consider the fact that they live in a really rural place and a lot of the areas are very rural. | ||
| Do they have predators? | ||
| They have bears, right? | ||
| China has some bears. | ||
| What else do they have? | ||
| Hey, just Google, what kind of shit eats people in China? | ||
| And they'll say, Chinese people. | ||
| Yeah, Chinese. | ||
| It's just the infinity sign. | ||
| Yeah, just a few cannibals. | ||
| It's very rare, but we got a few guys. | ||
| That would be a weird thing to find out. | ||
| How many people in America are eating people right now? | ||
| And if America has 90,000 missing people, how percent of that is old people? | ||
| Probably only like a small amount, I'm guessing. | ||
| What are you Googling here, buddy? | ||
| I googled exactly what you said. | ||
| What kind of weird shit meets people in China? | ||
| Meat made from poop? | ||
| We shouldn't say shit. | ||
| I didn't really mean shit. | ||
| I know, I was being silly. | ||
| You should actually google predators of humans in China. | ||
| Sorry, I had to be more specific. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to announce right now, we were way too high to start this podcast when we did, so thanks for hanging in there. | ||
| We've come back around. | ||
| Everybody's okay now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was too high. | |
| Do they have predators? | ||
| Is there maybe a thing that old ladies get scooped up by pterodactyls or some shit? | ||
| Imagine if pterodactyls are real. | ||
| We'd have to shoot them out of the sky. | ||
| You can't be an alligator that can fly. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Agreed? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You could just crawl around on a golf course. | ||
| I'm like, oh, I'll let that slide. | ||
| As soon as they can fly, fuck you. | ||
| You can't just land in my yard, you piece of shit. | ||
| And then what? | ||
| You can fly away and I can't fly? | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Is there anything that flies right now that attacks people? | ||
| See, that's the thing about eagles. | ||
| Eagles got smart. | ||
| They never got big enough to fuck with us. | ||
| So we said, alright, we'll let you be our national bird. | ||
| Eagles got really close. | ||
| They got scary. | ||
| I mean, if you see an eagle and you see those talons and shit, they'll freak you out. | ||
| I get attacked by birds a lot, though, recently. | ||
| I think I just must be near nests. | ||
| Yeah, don't be doing that. | ||
| I'm just sitting in my backyard and a bird flying. | ||
| What do you got here, Jamie? | ||
| This is just Wildlife of China on Wikipedia. | ||
| These are different mammals. | ||
| Does it say predators of humans? | ||
| Did you Google predators of humans? | ||
| They have giant tigers. | ||
| Oh, they do. | ||
| Well, that's it. | ||
| Old people getting eaten by tigers. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Soylent. | ||
| What if we find out it's a soylent? | ||
| South China tiger. | ||
| Soylent. | ||
| Chinese people are soylent. | ||
| We just figured it out. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| And they're like, we told you! | ||
| It was in the fucking wrapper, you dumb piece of shit. | ||
| Made in China. | ||
| Oh my god, they have Siberian tigers? | ||
| Oh, they have a bunch of other cats too. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Population of Bengal tigers? | ||
| What are those other cats at the top? | ||
| Leopards? | ||
| Oh, leopards are terrifying. | ||
| So, this is what I think. | ||
| Since they have a bunch of shit that we don't have that can kill you, my estimation is that poor communication, lack of resources, Very rural neighborhoods connected to tigers and cats are causing the extra 200,000 that would account for them having the exact same amount of old people go missing as we do. | ||
| You said 25% of those old people have dementia. | ||
| Oh, there you go. | ||
| You wander off, you get eaten by a tiger. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| What am I not supposed to get eaten by? | ||
| A tree? | ||
| No. | ||
| Did you see that video of the Chinese person eating the other... | ||
| on the subway? | ||
| Like, cannibalism? | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What? | ||
| Maybe, uh, yeah, let's say Asian. | ||
| Let's not show it for sure. | ||
| Well, you can't really see anything. | ||
| You just see a guy hunched over another guy and just blood coming out of him. | ||
| So he attacks the guy? | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| It's happened a few times. | ||
| It's happened, like, there's more than one video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this real? | |
| Yeah, there's more than one video. | ||
| So who's he attacking? | ||
| He's attacking some other guy. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Is that all blood? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| What did he attack him with? | ||
| With his mouth. | ||
| He's eating him. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| There's more than one of these videos. | ||
| How come no one's helping this guy? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm not getting in that. | ||
| And there's more than one of these videos, Joe. | ||
| You would let that go on? | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| I don't know if I'd let it get on, but I mean like... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, you have some skills that can help, but I can't do shit. | |
| I would faint. | ||
| Oh, I'd kill the fuck out of that guy if I could. | ||
| You'd have to worry that he's gonna go after you next or your kid or your friend or your mom and that's a subway in China by the way and there's more than one of these cannibalism videos like there's a China on subways there's is I don't know what happens, but there's a lot of this happening There's a bunch of videos of people randomly attacking people on subways. | ||
| That was real weird when we were just watching. | ||
| Well, here's the thing. | ||
| There's something about being contained in a subway where you're in this thing where you know it's a container and you know nobody can get away. | ||
| There's some weird instinct that people have where if someone was a predator already, I bet they would be in that thing and it would excite their predator desires. | ||
| If somebody just was some crazy person that wanted to go on a subway and just beat the shit out of somebody. | ||
| We all know there's people like that in the world, right? | ||
| They just want to go and hurt somebody for whatever reason. | ||
| That's the place to do it, right? | ||
| They're trapped. | ||
| If you want to eat somebody, the subway's the move. | ||
| And I think a lot of schizophrenics and people, well, in PCP, it freaks them out more and more. | ||
| They feel like they're in a confined space and they freak out. | ||
| They attack. | ||
| I guess that cop that shot, or remember the guy that recently got shot? | ||
| I guess that guy had PCP in his system. | ||
| So says. | ||
| So says. | ||
| So says who? | ||
| Alex Jones. | ||
| Did you see Alex Jones? | ||
| Let's stay on one subject at a time, you fucking OCD, ADD fuck. | ||
| This guy had PCP in his system? | ||
| Yeah, the girl cop that shot. | ||
| Imagine if they faked that, and he didn't have any PCP in his system. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Who's checking that shit? | ||
| Where'd that happen? | ||
| Wasn't it like North Carolina or some shit? | ||
| Where was that? | ||
| Tulsa, Oklahoma? | ||
| Yeah, they faked that. | ||
| That's PCP in Oklahoma. | ||
| They rigged that. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe he did. | ||
| Maybe that makes sense. | ||
| Even if he wasn't threatening, maybe that makes sense why he wasn't listening. | ||
| Why he walked back to his car and reached into his door. | ||
| Maybe he was fucked up on PCP. It totally makes sense. | ||
| Yeah, well, she shot him apparently, what I've understood by people that are around law enforcement and tactical situations. | ||
| When people don't have trigger discipline and they haven't been in a firefight before, any kind of situation where your adrenaline is jacked and you're really scared for your life. | ||
| And she might have been in some before, which maybe even could exacerbate that and jack it up. | ||
| But her adrenaline was jacked. | ||
| She was shit in her pants. | ||
| This dude wasn't listening. | ||
| And then they tased the guy. | ||
| And my friend Justin said to me, what most likely happened is when they tased the guy, she freaked out and pulled the trigger. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Because it's loud. | ||
| It's a loud popping noise, you know, when you tase somebody. | ||
| I think what he's saying is that she didn't even mean to shoot this guy. | ||
| And that what happened with her was she just didn't have good trigger discipline. | ||
| And she freaked out because... | ||
| You know, man, if you've never been in a life-or-death situation with a giant dude who might be on PCP, or might be on something, he's not listening. | ||
| PCP's scary. | ||
| I mean, there's many videos you can watch a guy on PCP at McDonald's, you know, battling cops and stuff like that, and he gets tased a million times and nothing happens. | ||
| Yeah, dude, you gotta be careful. | ||
| PCP people, they feel pain different. | ||
| This cop in Texas the other day just tased somebody on a highway and almost got hit by a truck. | ||
| They were chasing this guy and this guy starts running through this highway. | ||
| So the cop tasers him. | ||
| The guy falls and just misses a truck by an inch. | ||
| Why would you tase somebody while running on the highway while cars are stopped? | ||
| Because you don't give a fuck. | ||
| Stop running, bitch. | ||
| But it depends on what the dude did. | ||
| What if the dude was raping kids? | ||
| True. | ||
| Perfect tase. | ||
| Right? | ||
| It's all legit. | ||
| It depends on... | ||
| Like, if the guy was growing weed, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We need to find out what his crime was. | ||
| But there's also a helicopter on you, so maybe let the guy cross the road and we'll get you on the other side. | ||
| What if we don't get him? | ||
| What if we don't get him and he's out there fucking kids? | ||
| What if it's like Spider-Man, if you don't get him? | ||
| This is craziness. | ||
| And Peter Parker, remember, he let his dad go, or he let his uncle, he let the guy pass his uncle, and the guy wound up. | ||
| Let me see how they do this. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| And then he has to go on there and stop cars. | ||
| Oh, shit! | ||
| Oh my god, he tased him in the middle of the lane. | ||
| I know. | ||
| On the highway. | ||
| And if you go back 30 seconds, when he first jumps on the highway, he almost gets hit like three times. | ||
| Like, it's ridiculous. | ||
| Did you know... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it does. | |
| Did you know that you could, um... | ||
| You could tase someone from that far away? | ||
| Look how far he does this far. | ||
| Oh, it's the ones that shoot out those three claws. | ||
| I know, but look at this. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty good. | ||
| That's an accurate hit. | ||
| Damn, that's under pressure. | ||
| That's good trigger discipline. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Good control. | ||
| Accuracy is in check. | ||
| I found a taser in my car recently, and it's scary to turn on. | ||
| See, here's the thing, man. | ||
| Even if that dude was on PCP, she shouldn't have shot him. | ||
| It doesn't make it any different. | ||
| It just sort of explains his weird behavior. | ||
| She made a mistake. | ||
| But it's a mistake that cost somebody their life, but it's also like... | ||
| The whole thing is kind of fucked up, man. | ||
| Having a girl in that kind of a situation, I don't know what kind of training she had or how long she had been on the job. | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| Five... | ||
| Five years? | ||
| Let's make some shit up. | ||
| Five decades? | ||
| I'm gonna say five years. | ||
| She was 52. Five to seven years. | ||
| Fifty of those years, we're on the force. | ||
| I just think it's fucking terribly hard to do. | ||
| And we don't get mad if somebody fucks up your fries. | ||
| You know, if you go to McDonald's and you got burnt fries, like, these guys fucked the fries up. | ||
| This is the equivalent in her job of fucking up the fries. | ||
| Somebody dies. | ||
| She made a mistake. | ||
| She screwed up. | ||
| Somebody got shot and killed. | ||
| It's so much different than any other job. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so crazy. | |
| I Believe that it probably is exactly the sound of the taser in her and it being a high stress that makes complete sense to me I mean, I think you're you just react by hearing the sound and my buddy Justin would definitely know because he's he's down with all those Tactical guys and military guys and he's a he's a gun nut. | ||
| He's constantly around those dudes So if that's what they're saying, that's most likely what happened It's probably what she relayed in private or what they figured out or who knows but Man, fuck that job. | ||
| Imagine just chasing after people that are committing crimes all day. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| How stressful would that be, man? | ||
| She was a five-year veteran, yes, correct. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Mic drop. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just weird, man. | ||
| It's just weird that we need them, and it's weird that they become what they are, you know? | ||
| They become this death dealer. | ||
| Or lifesaver, you know? | ||
| If someone's coming after you and the cops break in, they're the lifesaver. | ||
| Like, what a crazy position for someone to take, you know? | ||
| Fucking stressful! | ||
| I would never do that. | ||
| Fuck that! | ||
| Especially nowadays. | ||
| It's even worse. | ||
| I mean, it probably was cooler back then because you got away with so much, you know? | ||
| Did you see the 7-5? | ||
| 7-5. | ||
| The documentary, the 7-5? | ||
| No. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And, uh... | ||
| We had Mike Dowd from the movie come in and explain to us what it was like back then. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| By the way, he's been on Joey's podcast, too. | ||
| How do you spell his name? | ||
| D-O-W-D. D-O-W-D. That's the way it sounds. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't want to fuck it up. | ||
| But I think it's just the real Mike Dowd on Twitter. | ||
| What is he on Twitter? | ||
| Great guy, but holy shit, was he a criminal? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| The cops at the 75th Precinct, he found out from like, it's an amazing documentary, and he found out from like the very first week on the job, like in that range, that the cops were all corrupt. | ||
| And that you never turned on one of your own. | ||
| They had rules that they would skirt around. | ||
| And he got deeper and deeper ingrained in this world of crime while you're a police officer. | ||
| Drug dealing while you're a police officer. | ||
| Intimidation while you're police. | ||
| Protection while you're a police officer. | ||
| And he's driving a Corvette. | ||
| And live in like a bar, and they're going on trips, and they're driving a boat, and then a bunch of crazy shit happens, and one guy rats the other guy out. | ||
| It's madness! | ||
| It's fucking great, dude. | ||
| It's a great documentary. | ||
| And also, he's like super honest about the whole thing. | ||
| He's super honest about everything, because he went to jail, did his time, and then got out, and then they made the documentary. | ||
| Because it's all about like, it's like the 1980s. | ||
| It's fucking amazing, dude. | ||
| It's a great documentary. | ||
| Nick DiPaolo told me about it. | ||
| You still get it. | ||
| I think it's on iTunes. | ||
| I think it's on everything. | ||
| It's fucking good, dude. | ||
| Did you look at the video yet of the pigeons in the bread factory in Russia? | ||
| No, no, I haven't liked that. | ||
| It's disturbing. | ||
| There's this mill filled with grain, and these pigeons are eating from the top of it, and they're so stupid that they just get sucked into the grain. | ||
| Oh, Jesus! | ||
| And chopped up into the bread. | ||
| So, like, if you've had bread in Russia lately... | ||
| A lot of it is pigeons. | ||
| A lot of it is pigeons. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Boom, boom, two down! | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh my god, three down. | ||
| Oh Jesus Christ! | ||
| One of them falls and lands in it and just gets sucked in. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| This is fucking insane. | ||
| It's one of the most disturbing... | ||
| Jamie, immediately make me a video of this and send it to my phone so I can Instagram this. | ||
| The world needs to know more. | ||
| Yeah, it's uh... | ||
| Fuck, that's harsh. | ||
| It's very gross and scary and sad. | ||
| It's just a harsh life. | ||
| How dumb are pigeons, too? | ||
| Well, look how little their heads are. | ||
| Imagine if your head was that little... | ||
| Yeah, I guess so, but... | ||
| Yeah, I guess so. | ||
| I mean, Zika babies grow up to be pretty smart. | ||
| Nope, we haven't had any. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Actually, hasn't Zika babies... | ||
| Grown up. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I mean, not that I've ever heard of. | ||
| I just made that up. | ||
| I think there's actually adult Zika babies. | ||
| Are there? | ||
| I think so, because I was thinking a bit about making Zika hats for Zika people so it makes it look like their heads are bigger. | ||
| I don't want to start a conspiracy on it, but I read recently that Zika's been around for a long time. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And then I just looked it up now, it says since the 1940s is when it was first discovered. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There's actually Zika adults, and they look like Zika babies by growing up. | ||
| Yeah, Google that. | ||
| Google Zika adults. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| There's some pictures of, like, really, really old pictures of people with weird deformities that you think of, like carnival pictures and shit like that. | ||
| I wonder how many of those were that kind of a thing. | ||
| I don't want to say, like, Beetlejuice? | ||
| No, that's... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Yeah, who knows? | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Little errors in the scripts that make a person. | ||
| Now, what are those errors? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Zika virus. | ||
| Microcephalacy suffers. | ||
| Cephalopathy. | ||
| He seems normal. | ||
| Microcephalopathy suffers campaign. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| How many people, though... | ||
| Oh, that's crazy. | ||
| How many people are Zika, but they just have hats and you never know they're Zika? | ||
| See, is that a thing? | ||
| Hold on, go back to the picture. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| There's a fucking bug that makes your head smaller. | ||
| Just stop and think about how insane that is. | ||
| We need to eradicate that bug. | ||
| There's a bug that makes your baby's head smaller. | ||
| Okay, I don't give a fuck what is going on in Russia. | ||
| We need to kill all these goddamn bugs. | ||
| Stop worrying about stupid shit. | ||
| There's people that are going to be born with little tiny heads. | ||
| Well, they're also killing bees in a lot of cities. | ||
| They're spraying for these Zika's. | ||
| Mosquitoes are bees. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all fucked up, dude. | ||
| It's all fucked up. | ||
| From top to bottom. | ||
| It's fucked up. | ||
| Birth defects. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Scary. | ||
| Terrifying. | ||
| It's just terrifying to think that there's bugs that can just... | ||
| I mean, when you hear things like the Spanish plague, that like one flu or the Spanish flu, one flu in like the 1800s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Or was it 1800s or 1900s? | ||
| What was the Spanish flu? | ||
| I want to say the 1800s. | ||
| 1800s, 1890s. | ||
| You know, I know this is my grasp of history. | ||
| Ready? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because in an interview with a vampire... | ||
| The dude that plays Brad Pitt had the Spanish flu, and he was a soldier, and he was dying in 1918. There you go. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was so old-timey, basically, folks. | ||
| Yeah, the dude who played Brad Pitt's character, or Brad Pitt's character, dude Brad Pitt played. | ||
| It's hard to say. | ||
| He died with that flu, and the stat gave him the vampire gene. | ||
| Got real issues after that, bro. | ||
| Didn't really like being a vampire. | ||
| Didn't really like choking on people's blood. | ||
| Drink his own daughter's blood. | ||
| It's kind of dark. | ||
| We were talking about Westworld earlier. | ||
| It reminded me of something, a thought I had on here. | ||
| A couple people mentioned some things about, I think, dimensions, maybe. | ||
| It might have had to do with string theory, but I had to go with the story. | ||
| I think I showed you this story before. | ||
| This came out earlier this year about some scientists have found out that the human brain, the size of it, or at least what it can store, might be way more than they thought previously, based on the way the brain... | ||
| Codes, what it's calling bits. | ||
| They need to stop the study right now and examine Redband. | ||
| My only point on this is that there is like 26, up to 26 neural pathways they discovered in the brain, which allows for more maybe thought storage than they knew about. | ||
| But when the person came on to mention dimensions in the past a couple months ago, I'd never heard that there was up to 26 dimensions possibly. | ||
| I'd always heard it was 11. Yeah, and this was the first time I heard 26, which made me go back to something I had just heard about what had 26 to do with it in the brain, and it was this. | ||
| Okay, so it says according to superstring theory, there are at least 10 dimensions in the universe. | ||
| M theory actually suggests there are 11 dimensions to space-time. | ||
| And then bosonic string theory suggests 26 dimensions. | ||
| What is bosonic string theory? | ||
| I had never heard that term either. | ||
| But I was just kind of asking in a strange way, like, do you think that those could be related in any way? | ||
| Dude, when you see that stuff they're writing down, those yellow legal paths, and those string theorists are going off, and they're doing computations, like, you just gotta take their word for it. | ||
| Like, you can't even try to rationally understand how the fuck some dude is looking at a notebook and figuring out how many dimensions there are potentially in the universe. | ||
| What? | ||
| Bosonic is the original version of string theory. | ||
| Now they're on super string theory or super symmetric string theory. | ||
| You know, there's a pushback about this stuff from people, and I don't know if the people that push back are smart enough to actually be hanging in there with these dudes and their ideas. | ||
| I don't know who's right. | ||
| It's way, way, way over my head. | ||
| I see them talking about this stuff. | ||
| I don't have a fucking clue. | ||
| The stuff that fascinates me, I mean, that fascinates me for sure, but it's so, what's the word, ethereal? | ||
| It's so misty. | ||
| It doesn't seem like I can grab it. | ||
| But quantum physics, like the guys who are actually studying things, like the guys who are looking at subatomic things, that fascinates me. | ||
| Like where they can actually, like things being in a state of movement and then being still, you know, they've discovered that in subatomic particles. | ||
| It's called a super state. | ||
| There's moving and still at the same time. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| They don't know, but they're observing it. | ||
| They're observing particles blink in and out of existence. | ||
| And so I'm sure they have some mathematical computations that go along with that, but the bottom line is they're actually observing this stuff. | ||
| This isn't something that, you know, they're writing down on notebooks and you can't get it, and, you know, I don't know that language, so I don't know what the fuck they're getting at. | ||
| These are people observing subatomic particles blinking in and out of existence, and they don't know where they're going. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| This is where scientists are going, holy shit, the smallest visible matter in Earth, in the world, in the universe, the smallest measurable matter, subatomic particles, it's magic. | ||
| So when you get to the very bottom, you get to the smallest thing that we can currently observe, You're looking at things that perform magic. | ||
| They go in and out of existence. | ||
| They're there and they're gone. | ||
| They're still and they're moving. | ||
| They're like a god. | ||
| They're like a crazy magician. | ||
| They're like a psychedelic trip. | ||
| At the smallest measurable amount of reality, the universe behaves like a magic trick. | ||
| That's fucking amazing. | ||
| It's mostly nothing? | ||
| Like an atom is mostly nothing? | ||
| It's probably still there. | ||
| It probably does a trick to the eye of not being able to see it. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| But I don't think if they're using an eye to measure it. | ||
| They're using some pretty sophisticated equipment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They're pretty sure that this thing, somehow or another, disappears and reappears. | ||
| And they don't know how. | ||
| And you might be right. | ||
| They might be able to come up with better and better equipment than 10 years from now. | ||
| They go, oh, that's not what we were seeing. | ||
| We were seeing this. | ||
| It's totally possible. | ||
| But they're all saying it right now. | ||
| And if they're right, I mean, this is not like a debated thing. | ||
| The fact that subatomic particles blink in and out of existence, I think all those super smart dudes accept that shit. | ||
| That's magic, dude. | ||
| They're going away and coming back. | ||
| Like, where the fuck are they going? | ||
| What's happening in there? | ||
| How's that thing moving and still? | ||
| Well, it just is. | ||
| What? | ||
| I mean, what are you looking at? | ||
| A new discovery by the Large Hadron Collider. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ! | ||
| Or, I don't know, official discovery, but it's a new theory. | ||
| Large Hadron Collider set to discover fifth dimension and doorway to other universes. | ||
| Jesus Christ! | ||
| This is not good! | ||
| This is a movie! | ||
| They're gonna open that fucking doorway, and those grays are gonna be waiting on the other side. | ||
| They're gonna take your eggs. | ||
| Do you have any eggs? | ||
| If you have eggs, they're gonna take you. | ||
| In the middle of the night. | ||
| Speaking of eggs, did you hear that there's one of those places that gets like sperm and eggs and... | ||
| Yeah, they made a person with three people's DNA. No. | ||
| What? | ||
| You didn't hear about that? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| They combine the DNA of three people and through in vitro fertilization made a baby. | ||
| And the baby was born. | ||
| So there's a baby born with a DNA of three people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Not two people, but three people. | ||
| How did they mix it? | ||
| Like gargling? | ||
| They just... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They just did. | ||
| We just put it in the bitch's mouth and tried to gargle and spit it in his cup. | ||
| Don't use that word, bitch, in this show. | ||
| It's just so rude. | ||
| Britch. | ||
| Hey, where did that take place? | ||
| That baby? | ||
| Was that born in, like, Russia? | ||
| When I came up on... | ||
| I just Googled it. | ||
| There's an actual FAQ on WebMD about it, so it's... | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| What are they saying? | ||
| Baby's definitely gay or no? | ||
| I found another article. | ||
| It's going to be a gay gladiator. | ||
| It's going to be the most handsome... | ||
| It's about the technique is safe on BBC News. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Three-person babies IVF technique safe. | ||
| Okay, if you say so, dude. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| I got to take your word for it. | ||
| I don't know what that means, that it's safe. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| I mean, how many people have been born? | ||
| Do we have a real good study group? | ||
| It said, 500 eggs from 64 donor women found that the new procedure did not adversely affect embryo development. | ||
| That's what you say now. | ||
| When that baby grows up to read your fucking mind, you got a problem. | ||
| Imagine if they put chips in these kids when they were little. | ||
| Like kill chips. | ||
| We don't know how this is going to work out. | ||
| Just in case this dude goes on a murderous rampage, we want to be able to have a button that we can press that just shuts him off. | ||
| Because if you have a designer baby, your baby could be like a super athlete, super genius, but we don't know long-term consequences. | ||
| So if you agree to this, we'll put the chip in your baby and we'll give you a kill switch. | ||
| So if your baby goes on a rampage, if it all goes wrong, we'll give a kill switch. | ||
| But the parents of the babies, the super babies, are going to be pissed. | ||
| How come these fucking regular babies don't have a kill switch? | ||
| You think about all the goddamn murderers that have ever existed all throughout time. | ||
| None of them were super babies. | ||
| So you're blaming my kids. | ||
| You're blaming my super kids for all the shit you regular kids do? | ||
| You want my kid to have a fucking chip that you can kill him? | ||
| Everybody's got to have a chip where you can kill him. | ||
| So we all sign an agreement because we want to keep the people safe from the super baby. | ||
| So everybody signs an agreement that everybody has a chip in the back of their head. | ||
| And we all wear chips. | ||
| Regular babies, super babies, and everybody just stays so polite because you're terrified. | ||
| You're terrified that the government is going to come along and kill switch your chip. | ||
| That's the key to a healthy, happy society. | ||
| Everyone's terrified of getting your kill switch hit. | ||
| That's the future. | ||
| That's what we have to look forward to. | ||
| You're close to the... | ||
| Remember that movie Gattaca with Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman? | ||
| Oh, they have a kill switch? | ||
| It wasn't kill switch, but when you're born, you're either valid or not invalid, I think is what it was. | ||
| That's true in real life, too. | ||
| Invalid people are the highest society, and invalids do all the rest of the shit work. | ||
| He tricks himself to become a valid. | ||
| That's what the movie's all about. | ||
| He tricks his code? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| He gets a fake fingerprint, fake hair, fake eyes, and all this shit, and all the sensors. | ||
| This is the early 90s, or late 90s, I feel like. | ||
| If somebody creates a synthetic person, you're telling me the synthetic person's not going to have a kill switch? | ||
| If you don't know what that guy's capable of, if someone says, well, there is one option. | ||
| What if they try to pass it through Congress? | ||
| Congress is like, fuck you. | ||
| And then someone says, okay, there's a solution. | ||
| What if every synthetic kid is born with a kill switch? | ||
| And then they go, okay, well, it's reasonable. | ||
| It's reasonable. | ||
| And then everybody, by 2070, we're all born with a kill switch. | ||
| There's no more crime. | ||
| Every now and then someone freaks out and they just zap, drop them, chop them up, feed it to the garden. | ||
| I remember that other movie, that Justin Timberlake movie where he's got a time, in time, and everyone's 25 and then they all die. | ||
| You watch too many movies, motherfucker. | ||
| Justin Timberlake movie. | ||
| It's a future movie. | ||
| I didn't know you made a movie. | ||
| The concept was really good. | ||
| Timberlake was in a few movies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Timberlake did a bunch of movies. | ||
| He was actually a good actor. | ||
| Alpha Dog? | ||
| Something else. | ||
| He was in something else, too. | ||
| He's a good actor. | ||
| I like Timberlake. | ||
| The movie In Time, it was a really cool concept. | ||
| Once you get 25, you stop aging, and then you're, whatever, a year of life starts going, but that's all the currency, too. | ||
| You work for time, you can trade time, you spend time, and then once your time's up, you're done. | ||
| But people have thousands and centuries of years built up on their little clock. | ||
| Right, so like a sultan of Brunei or some super rich dude could live forever. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Listen man, all this we're talking about when it comes to the future, about what could happen, like these silly science fiction movies, they're probably pale in comparison to how crazy it's actually gonna be. | ||
| Playing VR, you got to play Duncan's VR. How awesome was that? | ||
| Scary. | ||
| Was it Scary Awesome? | ||
| Scary Awesome and awesome in a way where you go, well, it's not like right now. | ||
| I knew I had goggles on. | ||
| I knew I was playing a video game where you're on a castle and these little cartoons are bouncing and you shoot bows and arrows at them. | ||
| Have you played that one yet? | ||
| I haven't played it, but I know what you're talking about. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So part of you is like, whoa, this is so cool. | ||
| But there's another part of you that goes, you know where this is going, right? | ||
| Where this is going, and this is not that far of a time. | ||
| You gotta think, when we were watching that phonograph, when's that phonograph from, Jamie? | ||
| The late 1800s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 1880s. | ||
| So let's give it 1880. Let's say 1880. Think about 1880 to 2016. That's not very fucking long. | ||
| So we've gone from a phonograph to a fake world in, what? | ||
| A couple hundred Yeah, a thousand years. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We're in it right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It could be. | |
| Well, it could be. | ||
| That's why this election is happening. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why this thing is so ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could be that it's happening right now. | ||
| The PlayStation just released their virtual reality today, or last night. | ||
| For the first time, it's a price point that's going to hit the masses. | ||
| A lot more people are going to have it. | ||
| This was a huge day yesterday. | ||
| There's one of the games that comes with it, I believe, is where you're underwater. | ||
| And it's not really a game. | ||
| You're just hanging out and a shark comes close to you and you get attacked by a shark. | ||
| But I guess it's so scary that you're like... | ||
| And that's just the Atari 2600 of VR. You know, what is going to happen? | ||
| It's going to be insane. | ||
| If it hasn't already. | ||
| I mean, we both remember Pong. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I have my Pong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was amazing. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But when it first came out, you were amazed. | ||
| You can actually interact with something that's on the TV. Yeah. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| That was so good. | ||
| It was so crazy. | ||
| It wasn't that big. | ||
| You're like, look how little it is. | ||
| When we're playing, they stick a cartridge in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was awesome. | |
| And compare that to this new doom, you know? | ||
| I mean, what we're seeing now in just a short amount of time is insane. | ||
| I mean, we've got a giant jump of progress in 200 years. | ||
| So what the fuck is it gonna be in less than 200 years, right? | ||
| Did you say 1880s? | ||
| I mean, that's... | ||
| What? | ||
| Did you see what BMW was announced? | ||
| I don't know if they just did it yesterday or this week, but it's along this VR stuff. | ||
| Oh, I did see this. | ||
| The motorcycle? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dude, that's insane. | ||
| It says you won't get in a wreck and you won't need a helmet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It balances itself, dude. | ||
| I don't know about won't get in a wreck, but... | ||
| Basically, can't is what they're trying to say. | ||
| Is it electric? | ||
| How can it not wreck? | ||
| Explain that. | ||
| That doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Something can still wreck into you, probably. | ||
| But you can't fall over in it? | ||
| That's what it's saying? | ||
| Yeah, that's what it's saying, kind of. | ||
| If you could fall off it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| That sounds fun. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're going to fall off it because the force that it's going to need to require to correct you. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| That's what it looks like? | ||
| Yeah, I was trying to find the helmet. | ||
| Tron. | ||
| You don't have a helmet, you have a visor. | ||
| Go to the thing. | ||
| Here's the head. | ||
| No, it's not it. | ||
| Show us a video, bitch! | ||
| These are all from, these aren't real, these are all from websites. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| Wait, where are you going? | ||
| Stay there. | ||
| Open that up. | ||
| Oh my god, that's real? | ||
| That's Tron. | ||
| I don't know that it's out yet, but I don't know if it's outside of concept. | ||
| Why does she have visors? | ||
| The visor gives information including speed and cornering hints It's got a rear view. | ||
| It's a screen. | ||
| It's AR, which is what a lot of companies are making a bet on VR or AR, augmented reality. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| So this is an AR visor. | ||
| Your rear view mirror is going to be in that. | ||
| Your speed disk is going to be in that. | ||
| Updated info on cars probably ahead of you are going to be in that, especially if it's dark. | ||
| Dude, that's the Batman thing, right? | ||
| In the upper right-hand corner? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Dark Knight Batman thing? | ||
| How close is that? | ||
| Pretty close. | ||
| I would sue. | ||
| You're like, bitch, that's my idea. | ||
| Even trying. | ||
| Goddamn that link. | ||
| So it's basically, it looks like the wheels are a little bit wider than a typical motorcycle. | ||
| Is there a different profile view where you can see how wide the tires are? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I am. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| No, not much wider. | ||
| Like a little bit though, right? | ||
| A little bit wider than a regular motorcycle? | ||
| They have a car that goes along with this, I think, is what I was hearing, but the car they show seems like it's completely computer generated. | ||
| Dude, we're living in the fucking future. | ||
| Is this real? | ||
| I need to start eating healthy so I can have this someday. | ||
| Dude, look at this. | ||
| This is insane. | ||
| This girl is on this thing, and she's flying around. | ||
| In this space-age motorcycle. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| And looking at the view through these goggles that are showing where everything is. | ||
| Oh my god, this is amazing! | ||
| Dude, we live in awesome times. | ||
| And that's the navigation system? | ||
| Is that what she's looking at in her goggles? | ||
| Yeah, you're like, that's what it's gonna be. | ||
| Oh man, this is amazing! | ||
| It illuminates the road in front of you? | ||
| Is that what I was supposed to show? | ||
| What was that? | ||
| The acid kicked in. | ||
| What is this called, Jamie? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What is the video? | ||
| Vision Next. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The future of motorcycling. | ||
| The BMW Motorrad. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| I'm not on YouTube for this video. | ||
| This is from the Daily Mail website. | ||
| Motorrad Vision Next 100. That's sexy. | ||
| It's pretty dope. | ||
| But, you know, It's still, like, someone could still run a red light. | ||
| You can't say that you're not gonna get t-boned. | ||
| Here's what the car looks like. | ||
| They got a car that does the same thing? | ||
| Hey buddy, check this shit out because the way that this, you're gonna say this is super fake. | ||
| The way the shell moves and stuff is so strange looking. | ||
| Oh my god, this is crazy! | ||
| You sit inside of it, you press a button, And a steering wheel pops out of the dashboard. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| What? | ||
| Is this real? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| This is like real tires. | ||
| Yeah, this is pretty CGI. This is like a CGI. This is what they're saying they are making and whether or not they're going to actually get there. | ||
| Oh my god, this is dope. | ||
| So it shows you where debris is on the road ahead and like highlights it. | ||
| Look, it says there's a biker right there. | ||
| Yeah, I see it. | ||
| How does it see that, though? | ||
| It saw it before. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's using different kinds of technology, like probably like radar and pulses and stuff. | ||
| It's using Big Brother, bro. | ||
| They're gonna know where you live, bro. | ||
| What about the handle? | ||
| I want an actual steering wheel, bitch. | ||
| Don't give me this stupid joystick. | ||
| You're not gonna need to drive it because it's gonna be self-driving, so... | ||
| Is it really self-driving 100% here? | ||
| God, do you trust that? | ||
| I do not trust that. | ||
| No. | ||
| I haven't done the Tesla thing yet. | ||
| Some people don't even change their oil. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You think they're going to have this thing maintained properly? | ||
| Right? | ||
| I mean, how many people are out there, you get stuck in a line of traffic, and someone in front of you is just blowing pollution out of the back of their pipe, and you cough in, and they just have a fucked up exhaust system or something? | ||
| Did you see that self-driving car that ran over one of its own engineers? | ||
| He was trying to make a... | ||
| Trying to show how the car detects people walking. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| And it will slam on the brakes. | ||
| And so I think it's Volkswagen or something. | ||
| And the guy just goes, now watch, the car will stop. | ||
| And it just runs him over. | ||
| No, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, poor bastard. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think he got hurt too bad. | ||
| But it didn't stop. | ||
| Well, they'll probably get it down eventually, but you want to be, like, super sure. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| No, please don't tell me that this is going to happen. | ||
| Here, watch. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| And they did that for a demonstration. | ||
| The guy had a suit on, his hands in his pocket. | ||
| That was the one of the engineers, yeah. | ||
| How about just put a cardboard cutout? | ||
| Right? | ||
| Okay? | ||
| What are we playing? | ||
| Games here, folks? | ||
| A real doll? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| You don't need to do that. | ||
| What about the crash test dummies? | ||
| Those guys just disappeared. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Why don't they have crash test dummies to just stand there? | ||
| Fucking idiots. | ||
| Don't stand there yourself. | ||
| Don't you have a life? | ||
| Get hit by a car, bro. | ||
| That guy's probably broken. | ||
| Probably every part of his body's broken. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you don't think that you're going to get bumped by that car like that, you could easily have a broken hip, broken legs. | ||
| Fuck that, dude. | ||
| I'm very passionate about this. | ||
| We're losing our autonomous nature. | ||
| We're going to eventually be controlled by everything that we have in our life. | ||
| You're not going to have any freedom to move around. | ||
| You're going to get in your car. | ||
| It's going to take you on a path to work. | ||
| You're going to punch in the data. | ||
| You'll be allowed to have your own car, but nobody could drive anymore. | ||
| Well, once we stopped letting people drive their own car, I mean, it was just, first of all, road rage deaths stopped. | ||
| That's one thing. | ||
| And it was worth it alone to lose that freedom. | ||
| You know why you road rage right? | ||
| You know why you road rage? | ||
| You road rage because you're scared. | ||
| When you get in a car and you're going fast, your senses are heightened. | ||
| You know your senses are heightened. | ||
| Everything is dangerous. | ||
| You don't feel it because you feel like, oh, I'm just chilling, going on the road. | ||
| But you're super aware that you're going fast. | ||
| You're super aware there's people around you. | ||
| They're also in these metal boxes. | ||
| You've got to trust these idiots to stay in your lane. | ||
| You're already on level eight. | ||
| So when someone gets in front of you, even if it's like nothing... | ||
| That's why people don't get road rage when they're walking like if you're walking on the mall and it's kind of a lot of people and someone gets in front of you You don't give a fuck. | ||
| You don't give a fuck at all Do you ever give a fuck of somebody walks past you and gets in front of you at the mall? | ||
| They're just walking down the hallway. | ||
| No one gives a shit, right? | ||
| But there's something about being in the car that your senses are super heightened up because you're worried about the Consequences of someone crashed into you. | ||
| So you're like fuck dude. | ||
| Oh Fuck you! | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| And that's where all that shit comes from. | ||
| And then you pull over, bitch! | ||
| Pull over, bitch! | ||
| I got a gun! | ||
| That's where all that shit comes from. | ||
| You think your life's on the line when it's really a minor fender bender or a minor traffic infraction or a minor rudeness where someone cut you off where they didn't have to. | ||
| Maybe they could have waited a little bit and got behind you. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| This just happened to me when I left the other night after the Fight Companion. | ||
| It was like 2 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| I was almost home in Hollywood. | ||
| Some cars were in front of a bar. | ||
| Some cars were blocking the two lanes of road, so everyone was merging over. | ||
| I merged over. | ||
| The guy behind me apparently thought I cut him off, so he started getting up on my ass. | ||
| I could tell the guy behind me was pissed. | ||
| I was getting that vibe. | ||
| So I started slowing down to just let him go past me. | ||
| If he's in a hurry, go for it. | ||
| He just pulls up next to me and stops and starts fucking cussing me out, middle finger, all this and that. | ||
| And I was like, thumbs up, man. | ||
| I'm not in a hurry. | ||
| I don't know where you're going. | ||
| I don't know why you're mad. | ||
| But I started thinking, oh shit, he's going to follow me around the corner and it's going to have to get serious. | ||
| But he just went away. | ||
| Some people are just nuts, and some people are angry at everything, right? | ||
| They're angry at their wife, they're angry at their job, they're angry at their friend, they're angry at their fucking neighborhood softball league that won't let them pitch. | ||
| You know, people are nuts. | ||
| You run into someone, that's why getting in those kind of exchanges Like over nothing, over cars getting in front of you. | ||
| I used to date this chick. | ||
| She was hilarious. | ||
| She was very smart, like super smart. | ||
| But she also would do, occasionally she would do dumb, reckless shit. | ||
| And one thing she would do, if someone cut her off, she'd be like, fuck you! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And she would She'd get in front of the car and cut them off. | |
| It was totally contrary to her regular personality. | ||
| Her regular personality was super fun-loving, and she was always smiling, but there was something in her head about someone cutting her off. | ||
| She was like, fuck that, and she would get in front of them, and she'd cut this dude off. | ||
| She had a convertible, too. | ||
| A little white convertible BMW. I was like, what What are you doing? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| You can't just go around doing that. | ||
| You've gotten lucky. | ||
| If you do that, someone's going to do something terrible to you. | ||
| This is a part of the news. | ||
| Road rage murders. | ||
| At one point in time, LA had a streak of them where it became trendy. | ||
| And people were just shooting each other on the freeway during traffic. | ||
| Like that scene from L.A. story, they made fun of it where he just has a gun and they all have guns. | ||
| That's what it was based on! | ||
| When I was a kid, and I had heard, and we would hear in the news about road raid deaths, they were always in California. | ||
| And there was people just shooting people like fucking crazy in California. | ||
| You just gotta be careful. | ||
| You can't cut off the wrong person. | ||
| You can't, like, you could fuck up in those situations and you accidentally get killed. | ||
| Like, people kill people in road rage incidents all the time. | ||
| And I bet the guy who kills the other guy probably regrets it for the rest of his life 99.9% of the time. | ||
| But you just run into the wrong person at the wrong time and you stand your ground, they stand their ground, and next thing you know there's violence. | ||
| Unnecessary, stupid, senseless violence. | ||
| There's too many gangsters in LA, especially like people that have way too much money and gang violence. | ||
| And so you don't even know who you're fucking with, like a prince that is a billionaire and he'll just like kill you and just be like, fuck it, I'll just go, you know. | ||
| Go back to whatever. | ||
| LA has most road rage related incidents in the US, study finds. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Of course, I'm not surprised. | ||
| What's the numbers though? | ||
| A strange study. | ||
| An auto insurance center analyzed 65,000 posts on Instagram using hashtag road rage. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is kind of the laziest fucking reporting ever. | |
| Well, our detailed analysis of the situation by going to hashtag road rage. | ||
| I wrote this article five minutes before I posted it, and fucking California's a lot. | ||
| You know what that means? | ||
| People just bitch in California. | ||
| Oh my god, fucking road rage. | ||
| It does say there's more than 1,500 people have been killed or injured in road rage incidents in the U.S. over the last five years. | ||
| But what about California? | ||
| It's got to be. | ||
| There's got to be like California road rage statistics for 2016. I mean, we have police chases multiple times a day. | ||
| I mean, I'm watching them non-stop all day. | ||
| They're the greatest. | ||
| Don't you think that what's going on with us, though, is that it's just so overpopulated? | ||
| There's a real frustration that people have, and that's also part of the road rage. | ||
| It's like, if you try to drive to Orange County at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, if you're leaving downtown LA, and you're trying to make it down to, like, Redondo Beach... | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| How many hours is that going to take? | ||
| At 4. If you leave at 4.30. | ||
| Oh, you fucked up, dude. | ||
| What time did you leave? | ||
| I left at 5.02. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| How long did it take you to get home? | ||
| Three hours. | ||
| I got three hours in the car. | ||
| That's normal. | ||
| That happens. | ||
| That can happen, dude. | ||
| You want to go to Newport Beach? | ||
| You want to live in Newport Beach but work in downtown LA? There's too many of us. | ||
| I had to go to Culver City, wherever Sony Studios is and all that. | ||
| It's at Culver City. | ||
| I had to go there the other day at like 2 in the afternoon. | ||
| Now on paper, it's like 7 miles from my house or something like that. | ||
| It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get there the other day. | ||
| And it's literally like 7 to 10 miles from my house. | ||
| Yeah, you could almost walk there as quick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I mean, if you walked, how many miles an hour do you walk? | ||
| Five? | ||
| I think if I were on a bicycle, I could have got it half the time, I bet. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| A bike, for sure. | ||
| If you didn't get killed by someone with road rage, that's in a fucking, fuck you, with some other guy. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| Cutting each other off, and you just get clipped. | ||
| Blink! | ||
| You go flying through the air. | ||
| People are angry. | ||
| There's too many of us. | ||
| But meanwhile, you get in a plane, you fly over the country, you're like, look at all this space. | ||
| Why are we all huddled up? | ||
| Why are we fucking huddled up so much? | ||
| Because the ocean. | ||
| We need to figure out a way to get the fucking salt out of the ocean in big pipes, pump it to the middle where everything's dry, and let's fix this. | ||
| We do have a lot of desalinization plants, if you look it up. | ||
| Yeah, it's super expensive and slow. | ||
| They're not that efficient. | ||
| It's a very difficult process. | ||
| It's very expensive. | ||
| It's not worth it. | ||
| And even not worth it with water, as Jesse Ventura was saying on before, water being more expensive than oil. | ||
| It's still not worth it to take the salt out of the water. | ||
| That's how hard the process is. | ||
| It's kind of ironic. | ||
| Right next to the water, we've got a water problem. | ||
| It's fucking hilarious. | ||
| Really, if you stop and think about it. | ||
| But when you're flying over and you look down at some of the big dry spots on the way to Vegas, you're like, Jesus. | ||
| Can't you boil the water out, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| Kind of? | ||
| Go ahead, try it. | ||
| What am I thinking? | ||
| Not boil. | ||
| Well, you could boil spring water or pond water or lake water, and you kill most of the shit that's in there. | ||
| There's some shit that can survive that, though. | ||
| They have all these water filters that people take when they're hardcore backpackers. | ||
| You could shit in it and drink it. | ||
| Well, I was talking about this recently. | ||
| I got really into these hardcore backpackers because I was listening to this one podcast where they were talking about the Appalachia Trail. | ||
| Have you ever heard of that? | ||
| Appalachia Trail is a trail that goes from Georgia all the way to Maine, and they walk it. | ||
| It takes five months. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, and they wear the same clothes the entire time. | ||
| They live off their backpack. | ||
| I mean, I was listening to these guys talk about it. | ||
| I'm like, that is nuts, man. | ||
| That's a nutty way to live. | ||
| Like, that's a crazy accomplishment. | ||
| I mean, people think they're badass by doing a marathon. | ||
| Dude, I ran 26 miles. | ||
| Took me four hours, but I have perseverance. | ||
| No, these people are walking to Maine. | ||
| And it's one of those things, once you start something like that, like, you're kind of committed to it. | ||
| You're kind of committed to this stupid thing that's going to take five months. | ||
| My friend just did not the whole thing, but he was just there for a part of it for five days, like, last weekend, I think. | ||
| He was a Marine, but they just went and camped, and he just put up a Facebook message like, I'm in a hammock, but it's 37 degrees, it's raining, and we're fucked. | ||
| Well, the point was, they don't know where they're getting their water from. | ||
| So a lot of them bring filters, and they have these things that they hang. | ||
| There's a bunch of different kinds of filters. | ||
| Some of them actually are straws, and you can take it, and you actually dip into a pond and suck it through this straw, and you can drink it. | ||
| And then they have other ones where there are gravity filters and they have these buckets and all this shit gets filtered out of the water and then it comes down and it comes out clear. | ||
| It's really interesting, man, because these people are using the best state-of-the-art survival technology, that kind of shit, and just drinking out of ponds and stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I saw the pee one where the CEO goes, now watch, this is urine, and he makes it and drinks it. | ||
| Yeah, but you can drink piss. | ||
| Piss doesn't even taste that bad. | ||
| I know. | ||
| It's nothing. | ||
| I drank my own piss a bunch of times. | ||
| There's a video of you drinking piss on the internet. | ||
| Yeah, of me and this dude, no name. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because someone had told me that drinking your own piss was really good. | ||
| It had vitamins and minerals in it, and stuff that came out of your body. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The fighter guy. | ||
| There's been a bunch of them. | ||
| A bunch of people. | ||
| Lyoto Machida did it. | ||
| He was kind of famous for drinking your own piss. | ||
| And so I went, well, what the fuck is this about? | ||
| And I drank it a couple of times. | ||
| And I was thinking after I drank it, I can't believe I just drank my piss. | ||
| Like, what the fuck is wrong with me? | ||
| Yeah, me and that dude. | ||
| So we both just whipped it out and peed in a cup, and then we drank it in the air. | ||
| That's the dude, incidentally. | ||
| That's no name. | ||
| That's the dude who introduced me to nootropics, believe it or not. | ||
| How ironic and appropriate. | ||
| We're about to do something really stupid. | ||
| Let's get the party started. | ||
| Salute. | ||
| Click cups. | ||
| That's because we peed in here. | ||
| It smells like pee. | ||
| It's because we peed in here. | ||
| We clicked it. | ||
| I just downed it. | ||
| But you know what, man? | ||
| I've been working on Fear Factor for so long. | ||
| And he couldn't do it, man. | ||
| He was hurling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He throws out. | |
| No big deal. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's throwing up. | |
| He's throwing up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is awesome. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Old school. | ||
| Old school. | ||
| I don't know what my point was about drinking piss. | ||
| Oh, it's not that big a deal. | ||
| It's all in your head. | ||
| It's like eating roaches. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| It's all in your head. | ||
| Like, there's a lot of bugs that we serve people on Fear Factor. | ||
| They didn't taste bad at all. | ||
| They barely tasted like anything. | ||
| Like spiders, a bunch of spiders we ate. | ||
| You know, spiders are cousins of crabs. | ||
| Lobsters and shit. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They don't taste bad. | ||
| Oysters is amazing that we eat oysters. | ||
| Just pulling them out of the ocean, you can just open them up and just suck down this slimy vagina. | ||
| It is kind of like that. | ||
| Do you know how lobsters switch from being like, I don't want to say poor people's food, but I thought that's what it was. | ||
| How did they make the change? | ||
| Well, it all happened when lobsters used to be like a bar food. | ||
| They used to go to the East River in the turn of the century. | ||
| I think it was like in the 1800s or the early 1900s, and they would cast out for lobsters and catch them and feed them to people that were hungry at bars. | ||
| And it was thought to be like garbage food. | ||
| Somewhere along the line, probably the supply dwindled because they overfished them. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| You know, I was reading this thing about diamonds the other day and how they managed to keep diamonds super valuable when they're not really rare anymore. | ||
| It was fascinating. | ||
| That they recognized it coming. | ||
| And that diamond production, up until the time they discovered these mines in South Africa, I think it was, diamond production was very small. | ||
| It was a few pounds a year. | ||
| And then all of a sudden, they just hit the mother load! | ||
| They just found so many diamonds, they realized, oh my god, diamonds are just weird. | ||
| Like, they're not valuable. | ||
| So they formed this giant group, the De Beers group. | ||
| And they said, let's just hoard all these fucking diamonds, control all the diamond mining, and we decide that they're still valuable. | ||
| Because they don't release them, but they keep mining them. | ||
| And so they have way more diamonds than they sell. | ||
| Like, the amount of diamonds to diamonds they sell. | ||
| And then diamonds are worth a fuckload of money. | ||
| So they're rare, right? | ||
| But they sell them all the time. | ||
| But they sell them as if they're rare, but they couldn't be rare. | ||
| If they were that rare, you wouldn't be selling so many of them. | ||
| Like, how many do you have? | ||
| They essentially have an unlimited supply of diamonds. | ||
| But they're making it out like, diamonds are so rare. | ||
| It's so rare that we found this diamond. | ||
| Like, bitch, you got a lot of them. | ||
| You got warehouses full of them. | ||
| It's kind of like the sunglasses and glasses industry are all owned. | ||
| Like, all the known, like, Ray-Bans, Oakleys, they're all owned by one company. | ||
| So, like, glasses shouldn't be that expensive, or sunglasses shouldn't be that expensive. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of sunglass companies, dude. | ||
| And they are all owned by the same company. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you sure? | |
| If you look it up, there's a company... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, why don't you Google it? | |
| How many different... | ||
| There's got to be competitors. | ||
| I watched the same thing you watched. | ||
| It was on a TV show. | ||
| They did a whole big breakdown, big video of the whole thing. | ||
| I'll look it up, but... | ||
| What's weird is that companies held out. | ||
| Oakley was like, no, we're not going to... | ||
| I forget what happened. | ||
| The store was like, we don't want to carry this brand because they're not a part of our company. | ||
| Then they just ended up buying Oakley and then raising the price. | ||
| Ray-Bans used to be cheap glasses. | ||
| When they bought Ray-Ban, they pumped it up to now you can't buy a Ray-Ban at $200. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What do they used to be? | ||
| They used to be just like the cheap glasses, you know, like a $10 glass or something like that. | ||
| Turns out a single company controls several of the outlets where you buy eyeglasses. | ||
| Okay, so they control the outlets, but do they own the companies? | ||
| Yes, and they own the companies. | ||
| So they also own lens crafters. | ||
| They also own sunglass hut or any of the sunglass stores. | ||
| They own everything. | ||
| That's pretty slick, right? | ||
| Because how many people buy sunglasses from like those sunglass huts? | ||
| That's where a lot of people buy them, right? | ||
| A statement to Snopes.com. | ||
| The company set its sales account for only 10% of the frames sold worldwide. | ||
| Snopes.com did, however, conclude that regardless of the actual figure, much of Adam's Ruins Everything's assessment of Luxottica's market dominance was accurate. | ||
| Okay, that's that Adam Ruins Everything show. | ||
| It's an interesting fucking show. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| Yeah, it's an interesting show. | ||
| Some of the stuff that he gets on, it's a well-measured take that some people disagree with, but there was one that Stephen Crowder just was mocking one, and he had some really good points. | ||
| Car dealership is one of my favorite episodes. | ||
| I had no idea about car dealerships. | ||
| It was about illegal immigration, and he was talking about how the fence wouldn't help. | ||
| And the fence wouldn't help because only I think it was like a certain percentage of the people that got into the country came into the country by foot. | ||
| It was something like only like 60% came in by foot. | ||
| So the idea was like, wait a minute. | ||
| See if you can find it. | ||
| This is interesting statistics. | ||
| Because it means a lot of people came in by foot. | ||
| Like, yeah, Fence would definitely stop that. | ||
| Like, it wouldn't stop everything. | ||
| But by the definition the own show explored, it would stop a large number of people. | ||
| You see it? | ||
| But it would probably just change people. | ||
| I'm trying to find the video. | ||
| The numbers. | ||
| Okay, so that's 60%? | ||
| I don't know what the numbers are. | ||
| But if you go to Louder with Crowder's website, it explains it, not just in the video, but in the actual description of the video. | ||
| It has the numbers. | ||
| So yeah, wouldn't that 60% though, like if there was a wall, just fly? | ||
| Well, I guess we have to fly now. | ||
| It's not that easy to fly though. | ||
| It's super hard to fly. | ||
| The idea is that it's really easy to walk across. | ||
| That's the idea that a fence would help. | ||
| But here's something even weirder. | ||
| Pete Dominick, you know the Pete Dominick from Stand Up with Pete Dominick, I think. | ||
| Radio show on Sirius. | ||
| I think that's what his show is called. | ||
| Forgive me if I'm wrong. | ||
| He was saying that the actual amount of Mexicans that immigrate to the United States, like the net amount, you know, they go back and forth, who goes here, who's there, it's zero. | ||
| It's like it's even. | ||
| Like the same amount go over there as come over here. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| How do they know that? | ||
| Yeah, and plus, are all those people just killed? | ||
| Like, are people that go down there just murdered? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think so. | |
| Depends on where they're going, right? | ||
| What do you got there, Jamie? | ||
| He doesn't have anything. | ||
| He just has three paragraphs of his opinion of what the video is talking about. | ||
| Does it have anything with numbers? | ||
| It has no numbers at all. | ||
| No? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Well, he explains it in the... | ||
| If you, like, play the beginning of the clip... | ||
| It explains it in the clip. | ||
| It gets to it pretty quickly. | ||
| It's kind of interesting. | ||
| Why don't you just play it? | ||
| It's kind of interesting because it gets to the weird numbers of it pretty quick. | ||
| Can we play it so only Brian and I can hear it? | ||
| Sorry, fuckers. | ||
| I'll reenact what he says. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| What'd you do? | ||
| Go to the beginning, please. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Okay, 40% came here on planes. | ||
| Okay, you can kill it. | ||
| That's all I wanted to hear. | ||
| So that's 27 to 40% of the people came here on planes. | ||
| That means that between 60 and 73% Came here walking. | ||
| Like, how would you say that a fence is not going to stop that? | ||
| Or in a car. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Which, even if we had a wall, Mexicans are still allowed to come to the United States to go on vacation, aren't they? | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
| And that's all they're going to do. | ||
| They have one shot. | ||
| I don't know how it works, like how you can get a visa or how you don't get a visa to visit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Some countries are harder, but Mexico to the United States ain't that hard. | ||
| But going to the Philippines, remember when I tried to rescue a Philippine woman, but she was killed by that tsunami? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I tried to get her a visa, and it was like, oh no, you have to wait in line, you have to six months, you won't get approved. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they know they're not coming back to the Philippines. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a lot of people from a lot of parts of the world. | ||
| If you're in a really, really super poor part of the world and you get a shot at trying to just eke it out here in the United States, you're like, fuck it, I'll take a chance. | ||
| You can establish a life over here over long periods of time. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess you could just come over and visit. | ||
| Pretty easy. | ||
| I mean, there's a road there. | ||
| They have to find a reason why you can't come over and visit. | ||
| Whoa, what the fuck? | ||
| People climbing the fence. | ||
| And then they kind of stop because they notice they're caught on camera, so they run and climb back over. | ||
| Whoa, they got backpacks on. | ||
| They look over at the camera. | ||
| They kind of get a cell phone near his ear? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Let's assume they're drug runners, but I don't know that that's necessarily Because they have those backpacks? | |
| So they climbed back over again? | ||
| It's that easy? | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Border Patrol! | ||
|
unidentified
|
So the Border Patrol sees them. | |
| Wow, so they're in the United States right now. | ||
| They got walkie-talkies, dude. | ||
| Oh, they see that... | ||
| No grab-in. | ||
| No grab-in. | ||
| Yeah, they're talking. | ||
| Another cover in their face. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| It's so easy to climb that wall. | ||
| Yeah, why is it so easy? | ||
| The clock is showing you how fast it takes. | ||
| It's like 10 seconds, they're over. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those dudes are like, they're like little acrobats. | |
| To be able to have that kind of hand strength, to pin down those things and climb it like that, that's pretty fucking impressive. | ||
| So they're just holding on to those things, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| Is that the newscaster catching them? | ||
| Look at that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pretty... | |
| God. | ||
| Oh, she's very angry. | ||
| They're on the wrong side of the dirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah, imagine if you're on the wrong side of the dirt and you're looking at all those nice people hanging around Corpus Christi, partying it up. | ||
| You're down here dodging bullets, going fucking bullfights and shit. | ||
| It's fucking weird that we just decide that people are born in the wrong patch of dirt. | ||
| Drives me crazy. | ||
| Especially with Mexicans. | ||
| I just love all my Mexican friends and everything like that. | ||
| And the fact that, like, you know, Trump just pisses me off when it comes to that. | ||
| He's a strange man. | ||
| This thing's very strange. | ||
| I just have the crazy feeling that this is like the last gasps of this silly system. | ||
| It's going to take a few more election cycles before it completely implodes. | ||
| Some disastrous occurrence has to take place before someone comes up with an alternative method that people embrace. | ||
| There's got to be something. | ||
| It's just not going to keep going like this. | ||
| It can't. | ||
| This is why we're down to these two. | ||
| Nobody wants that gig. | ||
| How long until it's a computer program? | ||
| It's probably not the worst idea. | ||
| 20 years. | ||
| Yeah, you have a series that just is common sense. | ||
| It looks up facts and figures and it tells you what the best answer is at that situation. | ||
| Well, not only that, maybe instead of you just sitting down and making one impulsive choice as to who's going to be the leader of the free world, maybe if you want to participate, In choosing the next leader, you have to interface with a system. | ||
| And it has to talk to you about your wants and your needs and desires. | ||
| And they try to find a solution that's mutually compatible with ethics and the desires of all the people that are attached to the system. | ||
| So they run the desires of all the people that are attached to the system through some sort of ethics program. | ||
| Where they try to think about what's important and what's not important and where people are just being bitches and where people are being lazy and where people are being too controlling and just figure out a way that you can concoct a system of government. | ||
| Where nobody's profiting from being in charge. | ||
| And as soon as people say they won't do that, because there's just too many people that profit from being in charge in gigantic ways. | ||
| So it's too valuable to be in charge. | ||
| It's not something you get off on doing just because you did a great job. | ||
| It's something you get off on doing because you used it In a personal way to enrich your own bank account. | ||
| You've figured out a way to use these weird laws that you set up to suck a bunch of money out of the system. | ||
| That's what we're getting over and over and over again. | ||
| That's the reason why they're doing it in the first place. | ||
| Nobody else wants that gig. | ||
| You have to be like a crazy person with an amazing view of yourself. | ||
| Oh, you just gotta grab him by the pussy. | ||
| Grab him by the pussy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just grab him. | |
| Grab him by the pussy. | ||
| Imagine if he wins. | ||
| Imagine if we have a president that talks about grabbing chicks by the pussy. | ||
| I'm just so sick of him. | ||
| It's funny, though. | ||
| It's kind of, if this is a simulation, man, they're ending it good. | ||
| It's coming down nice. | ||
| I would have loved to see somebody. | ||
| I'd rather have Kanye than Trump. | ||
| Yeah, he's going to win next year. | ||
| It's going to be Jesse Ventura versus Kanye. | ||
| They might team up together. | ||
| If Kanye's smart, he'll make Jesse his running mate. | ||
| Because Jesse likes to spend a lot of time in Mexico. | ||
| Makes him sort of a joint agreement where President Kanye takes care of the heavy lifting. | ||
| And then Vice President Ventura, he just wears his fanny pack and hangs around Mexico. | ||
| And in case he needs me, he has to call him on the phone because he doesn't have a cell phone. | ||
| We should try to get somebody elected, like one of our friends, like Joey Diaz or something, next round. | ||
| That's not going to work, but it's almost coming down to that. | ||
| I mean, the reason why Kanye West really could be president is because it is kind of almost coming down to a popularity contest. | ||
| It's almost coming down to, it doesn't necessarily have to be the person who can do the job best. | ||
| It's the person who the people love the most, who they convince themselves can do a good enough job. | ||
| Or who the person can convince them that they'll do a good enough job. | ||
| It's not necessarily the best person for the job. | ||
| A popular person, like if a guy like Kanye West, and Kanye and Drake ran together for the children... | ||
| They might win, man, if Kanye and Jay-Z ran, okay? | ||
| What if Nas runs for president? | ||
| Nas and Jay-Z. It's a joint ticket. | ||
| Hey, man, I might fucking vote for them. | ||
| I might do that, too. | ||
| Nas is a smart dude. | ||
| Jay-Z is a smart dude. | ||
| Maybe they would come up with something that makes sense. | ||
| But then Jay-Z did have that streaming music service and that wasn't a really good idea, was it? | ||
| He still does, doesn't he? | ||
| Still do that? | ||
| People buy that stuff? | ||
| No. | ||
| Did not work? | ||
| Didn't work? | ||
| I think they're trying to figure out how to get it bought by somebody else. | ||
| Probably, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he's just trying to make a buck. | ||
| Gotta take a chance. | ||
| But, anyway, at the end of the day, there's a lot of fucking smart people that are super popular, is my point. | ||
| If you can get really, really popular, like George Clooney. | ||
| You tell me if George Clooney didn't run for president, he couldn't win? | ||
| George Clooney can be the president of this fucking country without a doubt. | ||
| Ronald Reagan. | ||
| Even Alec Baldwin now, the door is open to Alec Baldwin, okay? | ||
| Because after all that grab-the-pussy stuff, all that crazy shit that Alec Baldwin did, screaming at people, calling them faggots and shit, no one's gonna remember that anymore. | ||
| The daughter stuff was terrible. | ||
| Yeah, the daughter. | ||
| That was terrible. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| He could say he was drunk, he apologized, they have a great relationship now. | ||
| People forgive you. | ||
| You don't have to be perfect. | ||
| I think if we look for a person who's perfect to be president, we're not gonna have a president because there are no perfect people. | ||
| But everybody's been lying, so we have to readjust our curve. | ||
| Our curve's all fucked up, because we've been dealing with a bunch of politicians who've been pretending to be someone who they're not. | ||
| They've been lying about everything they do. | ||
| They've been lying about who's paying them to do this, and who they're supporting, where the money's coming from, and why they do it, and the unspoken arrangements that they have with certain people that pay them large sums of money. | ||
| They don't even have to say, I want you to do this. | ||
| It's understood that you're going to do things to support their interests, because they've paid a shitload of money to help you out. | ||
| And to pay you to come do these fucking speeches at these ridiculous places? | ||
| Nobody wants to see a fucking Bill Clinton speech. | ||
| Who's paying? | ||
| Who's paying for that? | ||
| Who's excited about that? | ||
| Who's gonna pay enough money to justify a $250,000 Hillary Clinton speech? | ||
| Who's paying that? | ||
| Who's paying that? | ||
| A crazy person. | ||
| You have to be like, dude, this is going to be the shit. | ||
| We have tickets to Kiss. | ||
| We're going to see Kiss. | ||
| They have a reunion tour. | ||
| I know it's not the real Ace Frehley, and it's not the real Peter Criss, but the fucking show is awesome, dude. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And then, right after that, to top it off, Hillary Clinton is going to speak. | ||
| No, that's not something, I mean, she can be a very effective politician, but to pay someone that much money to speak, like, you're just making it obvious. | ||
| You're not, that's not what a normal super famous person gets. | ||
| They don't get $250,000 to speak at a luncheon. | ||
| Some comedians. | ||
| Not that much. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Close. | |
| But if you sell out Madison Square Garden, there's a difference. | ||
| That's ticket sales. | ||
| If Bill Burr sells out Madison Square Garden, he's going to get a giant chunk of money. | ||
| I don't know what that number is, but it's probably a giant chunk of money. | ||
| I'm sure we could ask Dane Cook. | ||
| Dane Cook sold out Madison Square Garden four times. | ||
| That's a giant chunk of money he must have made. | ||
| But he made it because people paid money to see him. | ||
| Like, they want to see him entertain them. | ||
| Are the bankers really doing that? | ||
| Are they fucking psyched? | ||
| They have lighters up while she's talking like, Fuck yeah! | ||
| Talk about deregulation! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Fuck yeah, Hillary! | ||
| She's up there with a bite suit on like a German Shepherd's gonna jump out of the back of a paddy wagon and bite her legs and try to take her down. | ||
| She's wearing that boxy bite suit. | ||
| Fuck outta here. | ||
| This whole thing's ridiculous. | ||
| So, it's so obvious. | ||
| These people are just... | ||
| They're just running this thing the way they've always been running this thing. | ||
| We're just getting to see it now. | ||
| We're getting to see it, like, really super clear. | ||
| We're real weird. | ||
| Real weird to watch them scramble and readjust and change and shift and move. | ||
| But if you want to be successful in the world that those people run in, you've got to be one of those people. | ||
| That's why Bernie Sanders is shunned. | ||
| Because Bernie Sanders, whether you agree with his politics or you disagree with his politics, and I agree with a lot of things he says. | ||
| He's an outsider. | ||
| They don't want that guy. | ||
| That guy's not going to play ball. | ||
| That guy's going to talk to people. | ||
| He's going to be reasonable. | ||
| He might be anti-capitalist to a certain extent to some people. | ||
| But ultimately, what he does represent is something that's different than the way things are running now. | ||
| They're not having that. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| But he got closer than anybody like him has ever gotten, ever. | ||
| So I think if four more years of chaos, whoever the fuck gets in, you might want to go to Canada for a little bit. | ||
| Just hang out. | ||
| Just go to Vancouver. | ||
| Who knows what the fuck's going to happen, man? | ||
| I mean, people are up in arms. | ||
| I told you I've been watching exclusively Fox News. | ||
| Because those are the people that think the least like me. | ||
| So I've been exclusively watching. | ||
| And occasionally I agree with them on many things. | ||
| But those are the people that I agree with the least. | ||
| So it is fascinating. | ||
| Watching them, first of all, the Trump debate. | ||
| I thought he's 0-2. | ||
| I thought Hillary whooped him in the first one. | ||
| And I thought she clearly outboxed him and outmoved him in the second one. | ||
| He did land a devastating blow that you'd be in jail. | ||
| Because that was devastating. | ||
| That was like a total two-point round. | ||
| That was a 10-8 round for sure. | ||
| He dropped her. | ||
| She got rocked. | ||
| Referee saved her. | ||
| She was saved by the bell there. | ||
| But other than that, I think she won. | ||
| I think she's just better at that. | ||
| She's got better economy of words, unlike me, rambling. | ||
| She says her sentences more concisely. | ||
| She's more measured in her approach. | ||
| She's more disciplined in her preparation. | ||
| To say that she didn't win, it's not fair. | ||
| It's not true. | ||
| So I'm watching these people just lie. | ||
| Well, obviously, Donald Trump was the winner of that debate. | ||
| I think, oh, there could be no doubt. | ||
| There could be no doubt. | ||
| Like, are you really serious? | ||
| Is that what you guys are arguing? | ||
| It blows my fucking mind though. | ||
| How are you watching the same thing as me? | ||
| The person that was in the room with me agreed with me. | ||
| If you were in the room, would we be both sitting there fighting? | ||
| There's terms that he uses that you should only use very, very sparingly Because they indicate that you're scrambling. | ||
| And one of those is, and I'm going to be honest with you. | ||
| And I'll be honest with you. | ||
| This is a shame. | ||
| I find this to be a shame. | ||
| That to me says he's in the moment, he's in the moment, but he's freeballing a little bit. | ||
| He's freeballing. | ||
| She's not doing that. | ||
| She's saying the America that we see in front of us is not perfect, but it is the best that we can find in the world today. | ||
| And I'm proud to be an American. | ||
| And she says this stuff with the right inflection and whether or not that's, I know, this is a media thing, she's a fucking crook and she's still going to ruin this country. | ||
| I understand that. | ||
| But that's not what a debate is, okay? | ||
| What a debate is is some sort of a contest of words. | ||
| It's a battle of words. | ||
| It's a battle of ideas. | ||
| It's a battle of concepts. | ||
| It's a battle of words and personalities, importantly. | ||
| He did everything wrong in that respect. | ||
| He's looming over her and it wasn't effective. | ||
| You know, she didn't take the bait. | ||
| She laughed and smiled when he said ridiculous shit. | ||
| Even when he said you'd be in jail, she walked off and just stood there as if nothing happened. | ||
| Like, she had... | ||
| She had a great reaction to him. | ||
| So it's not whether or not she'd be a better president. | ||
| But if you want to judge a debate like a game of tic-tac-toe or checkers or, you know, or it's some sort of a thing that you're scoring. | ||
| You're scoring this thing. | ||
| I mean, the people, it's like a team. | ||
| You watch it online. | ||
| 67% think... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mr. Secretary of State Clinton won the debate. | |
| Now, the Trump supporters feel differently. | ||
| And then you go to these people and they're like, I felt he was strong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I felt like what he said in that one thing, you go to jail, that really rang with me. | |
| That really made sense to me. | ||
| And you see all these people that they've chosen that are kind of interesting or controversial or stupid or that one guy with the crazy sweater. | ||
| They had that poor bastard. | ||
| They had some poor bastard with a giant red sweater and he stood out there and he said his name. | ||
| And so his name became like a meme. | ||
| That sweater became a meme. | ||
| That sweater sold out everywhere, all over the world, like instantly. | ||
| People are going to be that guy for Halloween now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's everywhere. | ||
| Making money selling shirts. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| 50,000 followers. | ||
| See, it's a game and it's an entertaining show. | ||
| That's what these debates are. | ||
| And it's a giant hustle. | ||
| I'm not saying this in a conspiracy theory sort of a way, because I think we're hustling ourselves. | ||
| We want this hustle. | ||
| This is a hustle we all want to see. | ||
| We all want to pretend that he's going to fix it, or we all want to pretend that she's going to be amazing. | ||
| We all want to pretend. | ||
| It's a weird, weird show. | ||
| It's a weird show, and we're watching these people improvise right in front of us. | ||
| Alex Jones' response to it was very upsetting to me. | ||
| It was wonderful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alex Jones, literally, she's a demon from hell. | |
| Literally, we've seen flies land on her head! | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, we've seen flies! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've talked to people who are on the scene! | |
| He's fucking beet red. | ||
| He's crying. | ||
| He's got a purple red face. | ||
| There's demons! | ||
| Demons are real. | ||
| He was crying. | ||
| It's wonderful. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| I think he's taken it to the right place. | ||
| I think he's just gone full parody. | ||
| Just get so crazy. | ||
| I think it's perfect. | ||
| Yeah, it's perfect. | ||
| Yeah, just give people just a little more than they can swallow. | ||
| I'm choking! | ||
| Like, the irony and the crazy is making even, like, the serious conspiracy theories reconsider their position, which I think is good, which is also the best argument that he's psyops, that he's actually CIA, NSA undercover to discredit the entire truth or movement. | ||
| Don't you understand? | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I went down two rabbit holes last night. | ||
| Two Tower 7 rabbit holes. | ||
| I went down the explanation Tower 7 rabbit hole, which I found to be very plausible. | ||
| And then I went down the other rabbit hole, which is actual scientists that are saying that 9/11 was absolutely a controlled demolition. | ||
| And it's really weird, man, because one of them, the scientist guys, he was given this lecture, I forget the gentleman's name, but he's a professor emeritus of some university, which means he was a professor and then he retired, but they allow him to keep his title and keep his office. | ||
| And this dude's office rocker. | ||
| He does these two-hour speeches about Tower 7, you know, about free-fall speed and thermite and all these different chemicals that were found in the wreckage, and he's just obsessed with this idea. | ||
| And apparently he's not the only one. | ||
| There's thousands of different, at least a thousand, I think it's like 1,500 or something, architects and engineers in that 9-11 truth thing that think that 9-11 either was an inside job or Tower 7 was a controlled demolition or both. | ||
| There's a spectrum of belief systems that's involved in the 9-11 truth or movement. | ||
| Some people think that... | ||
| There's a lot of nuts to think that planes didn't even really hit the towers, that there were explosions, and then there's other people that think that the towers were rigged, and that they rigged these things like years in advance, and they remember seeing these maintenance people, and they were like these nefarious maintenance people are setting up thermite bombs all throughout the beams of the... | ||
| But then there's this other video that shows how easily things weaken under fire. | ||
| It shows a bunch of shit collapsing under fire, including a bridge. | ||
| There was one where a bridge collapsed just because of a fire underneath the bridge. | ||
| The steel in the bridge heated up too much and just couldn't support the weight. | ||
| And apparently, what it's explaining is that people think that steel melts at a certain temperature, which is very true, but it significantly weakens at a way lower temperature than it melts. | ||
| So they were showing all these different things that collapse, just fall down, just give up, just like that Tower 7 did. | ||
| But... | ||
| It's fun to think that there's an evil genius that lives in a mountain that rigged all that shit and now he's laughing in a pile of money? | ||
| Because he got away with it 15 years ago? | ||
| You know, they opened a Walmart in Burbank. | ||
| Thank God. | ||
| And I was excited. | ||
| And I decided... | ||
| Why? | ||
| I hate mom and pop businesses. | ||
| Just because it's nice. | ||
| Want to see people working for it's cheap. | ||
| You know, it's just nice. | ||
| But... | ||
| You go there thinking it's in Burbank, one of the suburban nicer areas of Los Angeles. | ||
| No way it's going to be the same people that go to Walmart in Burbank than you see on the internet. | ||
| No. | ||
| Whatever it is, it's like flies on poop. | ||
| It was just filled with tits hanging out. | ||
| This woman just bruises all over. | ||
| Kids with no shoes on. | ||
| It was just like, where are all these people from? | ||
| They find it. | ||
| They find it. | ||
| And the conspiracies and all that crap, to me, it's like that. | ||
| Half the people on my Facebook, I just look at them like, dude, I should just unfollow you. | ||
| Maybe we need to get Chinese assassins of old people to come over here and make Walmarts. | ||
| Big flytrap Walmarts. | ||
| And they just say, hey, you tired of white people being pushed down? | ||
| Yes, I am. | ||
| Well, come on in this room. | ||
| We're organizing. | ||
| You know, like having a bunch of different like social honey traps where people just fall into them. | ||
| Blow up all the Walmarts on Black Friday and then Trump loses. | ||
| Could you imagine if we got to a point where we had to start killing people off? | ||
| Like there's just way too many people and there's no other way around it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
China. | |
| We got to cull people the same way they want to cull wolves in the greater Yellowstone ecosystem. | ||
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| Is it possible? | ||
| I mean, we keep overpopulating, right? | ||
| We're at 7 billion. | ||
| They project... | ||
| I think they project 8 billion by 2050. I think that's what they said. | ||
| See if that's true, Jamie. | ||
| There's a lot of middle states, though. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We got a lot of room. | ||
| We just gotta... | ||
| But we don't have the water, right? | ||
| We talked about this. | ||
| The desalinization. | ||
| It can't fill up those areas. | ||
| But don't you think... | ||
| That there's going to come a time, if we survive, right, say if there's no super volcanoes, no asteroid impacts, no plague, no nuclear war, if we avoid all that shit, you know, the water's going to rise, we're going to move in, we'll be fine, the coast will just be in a different spot. | ||
| It's not that big of a deal. | ||
| I mean, it's a big deal, obviously, but it's not a kill off the population big a deal. | ||
| So if it keeps going and the technology keeps getting better, we just keep making people. | ||
| We just keep doing it. | ||
| The numbers keep rising and rising and rising and then we get to be like 30 billion, 40 billion, 50 billion. | ||
| And we have real problems where we don't have enough food. | ||
| We don't have enough air. | ||
| We don't have enough space. | ||
| What are we going to do? | ||
| Make food. | ||
| That's already a thing. | ||
| What about kill stupid people? | ||
| Kill stupid people for sure. | ||
| No, you can't say that because that's what Hitler wanted. | ||
| He had some good ideas and some bad ideas. | ||
| No, I mean, there's definitely... | ||
| Look, this Chinese thing, that makes complete sense if they're killing off... | ||
| Do you think they're doing that, though? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| There's too many people in China. | ||
| They cannot have that many people. | ||
| So if they get rid of a certain age of people, especially if they have mental issues, like homeless people... | ||
| Right, but we already figured out that the United States has almost 100,000, right? | ||
| Was it 90-something thousand? | ||
| Any given day, I'd say about 90,000. | ||
| Any given year? | ||
| Any given day. | ||
| There's 90,000 missing. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Not extra missing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, overall. | |
| I see, I see. | ||
| And this is elderly? | ||
| No, it's just people. | ||
| Oh, this is different. | ||
| Including kids. | ||
| Well, that's way different. | ||
| Are they talking about 500,000 elderly or 500,000 people? | ||
| 500,000 elderly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh, that's a big difference. | |
| Oh, yeah, they're killing them, for sure. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Right, for sure. | ||
| Oh, okay, I got it wrong. | ||
| I mean, they kill kids, or they used to, but they, you know, if you... | ||
| That's kind of what I'm saying, right? | ||
| About populations. | ||
| If they get too high, people aren't valuable anymore. | ||
| 500,000 elderly people go missing in China every year. | ||
| That is a lot. | ||
| 80% of the missing people are, I believe, 80%. | ||
| Dude, they're killing people. | ||
| Do you think that's real? | ||
| Do you think they're killing people, or do you think people just get lost real easy? | ||
| Look at it, it's 80% of, 80% are elderly. | ||
| So yes, I believe they're killing them, or... | ||
| 72% suffered some sort of memory impairment. | ||
| Yeah, but look, it might be a mental health issue, where they might just not treat their mentally ill. | ||
| But look at the numbers in that chart, Jamie, scroll back up there, look at that shit. | ||
| Look at the difference between, what is the earliest part of the chart? | ||
| 1965. Population of people over 65. Yeah, but... | ||
| 1965 to 2015. No, the age thing, Jamie. | ||
| The bottom. | ||
| 1965 to 2015. Yeah. | ||
| If you look at the way it runs up to 2015, that's a spike, man. | ||
| Or at least a steep ramp. | ||
| Wow, they're killing old people. | ||
| They're saying that out of those groups that are missing, a large amount of them have been diagnosed already with an illness like Alzheimer's or something like that. | ||
| They're already on the way out, they're saying. | ||
| So they ice them, they get rid of them. | ||
| Yeah, because it's costing them more money. | ||
| And population. | ||
| It's taking up space. | ||
| Dude, imagine if we find out that there is a murder racket in China that kills 500,000 old sick people a year. | ||
| There is. | ||
| But imagine. | ||
| I mean, right now we're just looking at a number. | ||
| But if we found out that is absolutely what was going on? | ||
| I think by 2030 they're going to have more than 400 million people over 60 there. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And they last longer, the Asians, because they eat so nice. | ||
| That's so racist. | ||
| That as a meme is going to be like a racist meme. | ||
| People are going to beat your ass. | ||
| Isn't that funny? | ||
| But you said nothing but a good thing. | ||
| No. | ||
| You said good things, but it's racial. | ||
| And so when it's racial, people automatically get recreationally upset. | ||
| Recreational outrage kicks in, and they'll call you a racist for saying that Asian people last longer because they eat well. | ||
| But you just said, eat nice. | ||
| Eat nice. | ||
| That was a better way to say it, though. | ||
| Well, my girlfriend's Asian, and she's the most racist of Chinese people of all time. | ||
| And most Asians hate Chinese people. | ||
| And you're like, why are you so racist against Chinese people? | ||
| And she's like, oh, they're stupid. | ||
| And then you research it, and you're like... | ||
| Maybe you should let her say these things in there. | ||
| My ex-girlfriend, the one that died in the train crash. | ||
| But then you read all these things about this, and you're like, holy shit, what's going on in China? | ||
| It's fucked up over there, man. | ||
| Well, Ari will tell you what's going on. | ||
| Ari's been there. | ||
| I know quite a few people that have been in China. | ||
| Somebody just... | ||
| Oh, Tate. | ||
| Tate's in China right now. | ||
| He's doing some CrossFit shit over there. | ||
| He's doing some stuff with the guy who owns CrossFit. | ||
| Yeah, China's a trip, man. | ||
| Apparently, though, there's something like 50 new billionaires are created every day in China. | ||
| Something insane like that. | ||
| Here, Tate told me. | ||
| I should probably know these things before I say them out loud, but you know how it is, folks. | ||
| How many new billionaires are created every day in China? | ||
| What do you say, Brian? | ||
| 50? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| Business Insider says China gets a new billionaire every five days. | ||
| So not five every day, it's one every five days. | ||
| Well, that sounds more likely. | ||
| So that's 20 a month. | ||
| One every five. | ||
| One every five days. | ||
| Six a month. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| One every five days. | ||
| There's seven days in a week. | ||
| There's four weeks in a month. | ||
| About 30 days every month. | ||
| 30 divided by 5 is 6. So 6 times 5 is 30. So every month they get a billion except for like February. | ||
| It's short months. | ||
| 60 every year. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| So it's 60 a year. | ||
| Essentially 50-60 a year instead of 50-60 a day. | ||
| I was only off by a factor of 365. Let me see what Tate said. | ||
| Maybe Tate lied to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Motherfucker. | |
| It is a strange place though, like when we think about like that language can develop in two different places in two completely different ways like you've got your language that we have over here with our very specific sounds that sound like English and then they get a little weirder when they go to certain places like if you go to you know like Germany or like those places that what they have different sounds and they have the parts of the world where they have like different sort of sounds like | ||
| that And then you got China, which has got its own kind of weird thing. | ||
| And then on top of that, okay, here he says they have made, here each year, hmm, 409 millionaires made there each day of the year. | ||
| That's more impressive. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's what it was, he said. | ||
| 409 millionaires made there each day and 50 million people living in Shanghai. | ||
| Okay, that's the 40, that's the 50, that's where I got confused. | ||
| Fuck man, but their language like when you look at it written down you're like this is alien This is like alien language like we didn't know that Chinese was Chinese You know you pass by Chinatown you go. | ||
| Oh, they have yeah Chinese language on the wall If you went into space and you found that shit on a rock in a cave somewhere, you'd be like, oh my god It's alien language. | ||
| It's so much more sophisticated than ours. | ||
| Look at the characters. | ||
| I can't it can't be deciphered We would be looking at it like what is that these little characters? | ||
| Just little strange characters, and they all know, and they have way more characters than we have letters. | ||
| Way more, because each character is like a word. | ||
| Yeah, like waterfalls. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Fucked up. | ||
| What was it supposed to be on your arm? | ||
| R for my last name, and there's no such thing as an R in Chinese. | ||
| Still, they thought you said water. | ||
| Waterfall. | ||
| Waterfall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Waterfall. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Embarrassing. | ||
| Well, it wasn't an Asian person that did it though, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was a white guy. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| It was a white girl. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| She didn't know what the fuck she was writing. | ||
| That bitch made up some shit on you. | ||
| She drew on you and made up some shit. | ||
| She had a book that actually said, like I said, A, and it showed the symbol B, but it was just bullshit, I guess. | ||
| The people that made that book, they were laughing. | ||
| While they pushed it out the door. | ||
| Me Chinese, me play a joke. | ||
| I had a tattoo book. | ||
| It's racist. | ||
| Racists do a Chinese accent, but you can do an English accent all day. | ||
| Isn't that strange? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Isn't it odd? | ||
| You can go, hello, and how are you, Brian Reichel? | ||
| And now I go, you fucking racist! | ||
| You racist piece of shit! | ||
| But if you go, if you do that, you're racist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| That sounds racist. | ||
| You are mocking the way Chinese people sound. | ||
| Well, they have an unusual sound. | ||
| You hear them talk. | ||
| It's like a very weird kind of fascinating... | ||
| I think it sounds cool, but it's a strange sound in comparison to the English that we're used to. | ||
| Is it racist, though? | ||
| I mean, like, I've told you about how... | ||
| Oh, Mr. Brian! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Happy day. | |
| I told you about this. | ||
| My girlfriend has to speak Korean, so I try to speak Korean. | ||
| I just try to make the noises. | ||
| Not anything racist. | ||
| I just try to make the noises. | ||
| And then every couple, ten seconds, she'll be like, you just said grasshopper. | ||
| You just said hako. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Fake noises? | ||
| Fake noises that sound like... | ||
| Keep doing that with her and you'll learn the language. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Just do it constantly. | ||
| Just make noises. | ||
| Create a database in your head. | ||
| You can do it, dude. | ||
| I've got faith in you. | ||
| I've learned a few words. | ||
| I used to teach Taekwondo in Korean. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I used to count in Korean. | ||
| No way, do you still know? | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| I'll probably fuck it up. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| Nah, I fucked it up already. | ||
| I'm not saying it very good either. | ||
| My instructor had a very strong accent. | ||
| It was hard sometimes to understand exactly how to say the words. | ||
| But like, kicks would be in... | ||
| In Taekwondo kicks would be, you would say them in Korean, like up chuggy. | ||
| I think up chuggy was front kick. | ||
| Doyo chuggy is roundhouse kick. | ||
| There's like a bunch of different, yeah. | ||
| I don't remember all of them though. | ||
| I forgot a lot of them, man. | ||
| I forgot a lot of it. | ||
| I learned how to say, like, I guess it means, like, gay or something like that. | ||
| Of course you did. | ||
| But you say it as like, like, like that or something. | ||
| Oh, Japanese, right? | ||
| No, no, no, Korean. | ||
| Korean, okay. | ||
| So I embarrassed my girlfriend, like, I'll be in public, and out of nowhere I was just trying to be like, Nikki! | ||
| And she's like... | ||
| Because I guess it's like really embarrassing. | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Nookie. | ||
| Nookie. | ||
| Oh, like that Limp Bizkit song? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I did it all for the nookie. | ||
| Nookie! | ||
| So if they went to see Limp Bizkit, they would just start laughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, I can't believe they're saying this. | |
| Is that what would happen? | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| Nookie! | ||
| There was a weird time where... | ||
| It's very strange where a word from some other language... | ||
| Means nothing over here like we say words and it means like something really fucked up over there Like there's certain words like okay, here's a perfect example fanny pack fanny means vagina in England I got that out How the fuck did that happen? | ||
| Simulation theory. | ||
| Or fags for cigarettes. | ||
| They call a cigarette a fag. | ||
| Or faggots. | ||
| You know, like a bundle of nose hairs. | ||
| You know what that is, man? | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| There's a misconception about that. | ||
| The entomology, I think that's the word, of that word. | ||
| The word faggot. | ||
| It was even misspoke on the Louis C.K. show that they said that it was originally that the reason why they use that term for gay people is because it's a bundle of sticks and they would light the bundle of sticks on fire. | ||
| And so the reason why they call someone a faggot and the reason why it was so offensive is because that means that they're to be lit on fire. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| Really? | ||
| No, that's not true. | ||
| And it wouldn't have taken long to research this. | ||
| The actual origin, what it means is it's a bundle of wood, like a burdensome woman. | ||
| A faggot is very difficult to carry because it's like a bundle of wood and it's very difficult to balance. | ||
| It's cumbersome. | ||
| So a burdensome woman became a faggot. | ||
| So a guy who acted like a woman, like a burdensome woman, became a faggot. | ||
| It had nothing to do with lighting anyone on fire. | ||
| And there's no evidence, I mean, other than isolated hate crimes, there's no evidence of a practice of lighting people on fire. | ||
| Other than war, you know, some horrible things that people have done when they've conquered cities, they've lit entire villages on fire and shit along those lines. | ||
| But for the most part, even the Salem witch trials, like most people think that they lit those people on fire, most of them were drowned. | ||
| I mean, it's still... | ||
| It's still a gross word when you're applying it to a homosexual person to sort of dehumanize them. | ||
| It's still a gross term. | ||
| But that's not what it originally meant. | ||
| Man, a burdensome woman. | ||
| Yeah, I've never heard the fire before, but I've always heard the wood. | ||
| And if you talk to your gay friends, it's okay if they say it back and forth to you. | ||
| You're such a faggot. | ||
| You do it around, other dudes that are gay are going to punch you. | ||
| Gay dudes are dudes, man. | ||
| Hey, make sure that I'm correct on that. | ||
| I'm 99% sure I am. | ||
| But the entomology of the word faggot pertains to a burdensome woman. | ||
| As it pertains. | ||
| It's one of those things that just gets sort of repeated as an urban myth. | ||
| It's weird how many different fucking slurs there are for people. | ||
| It almost, in some ways, would be better if there's just one and we use it universally. | ||
| What would yours be? | ||
| For everybody. | ||
| Like, it's too hard to call morons. | ||
| Like, moron is always good. | ||
| What does it say here, Jamie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You see that? | |
| No, make that a little bigger. | ||
| The word faggot has been used in English since the late 60s. | ||
| 16th century and is an abusive term for women, particularly old women. | ||
| In reference to homosexuality may derive from this. | ||
| A female, as female terms are often used with reference to homosexual effeminate men. | ||
| The application of a term to a woman is possibly the shortening of the term faggot gatherer applied to 19th century people. | ||
| I'm going to call Milo that from now on. | ||
| Especially older women who made a meager living by gathering and selling firewood. | ||
| Interesting. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| Also, a sense of something awkward to be carried. | ||
| Okay, that's where it is. | ||
| So, compared to the use of the word baggage. | ||
| Okay, that makes sense. | ||
| As a pejorative term for old people in general. | ||
| So, awkward to carry baggage. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah, so that's essentially it. | ||
| So that's where it came from. | ||
| Comparing men to women, not comparing men to something that they light on fire. | ||
| So when people say that, it's just not true. | ||
| It doesn't excuse people for slurs, but we shouldn't lie. | ||
| You know, and that's the problem. | ||
| Something sounds so good, you want to repeat it over and over again, but it's not true. | ||
| Like, yeah, it's terrible to slur people. | ||
| Yes, you're right. | ||
| But we should be honest about the origin of words, you know, and that's not honest. | ||
| But it's something that gets repeated a lot, and people don't look into it at all. | ||
| They just want to say it because it sounds awesome. | ||
| And when you say it, well, the reason why it's so offensive is because at one point in time, that's what they use to describe a bundle of wood, okay? | ||
| So when you just, and your friends, you think you're funny, you think you're casually calling each other faggots, okay? | ||
| Calling each other the other F word. | ||
| How long before faggot becomes the other F word? | ||
| Has it already happened? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Has it already happened? | ||
| I think so, right? | ||
| Riders on the storm. | ||
| Anything you want to add before we wrap this bitch up? | ||
| I'll be with George Perez, Ontario, October 20th. | ||
| Powerful Ontario improv. | ||
| That's a fun place, man. | ||
| Good. | ||
| That's a good spot. | ||
| We're super lucky in California that we have... | ||
| I heard the Oxnard one is the shit. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| That's a new one. | ||
| But think of just the improv chain alone. | ||
| You've got Oxnard, you've got Brea, you've got Irvine, you've got Ontario... | ||
| All those fucking badass places to work all within a couple hours drive. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, if you're like a Southern California comic, the improvs are the shit. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| We're lucky. | ||
| We're fucking super lucky. | ||
| And we didn't even mention Hollywood. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's the big one in Hollywood, which is one of the oldest and best clubs in the world. | ||
| I mean, what a strong chain. | ||
| You know, that's amazing. | ||
| I work those fucking clubs all the time, man. | ||
| I'm always there. | ||
| It's amazing when you stop and think about it. | ||
| Like, what other fucking city has that many major clubs that close like that? | ||
| Dude, we're so lucky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Ontario is awesome. | ||
| George Perez is awesome too. | ||
| I love working with George. | ||
| He's fucking hilarious and he's such a good person. | ||
| He's a great dude, man. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| He's fun. | ||
| We have fun on the shows because you get this cool death squad mixed with Mexican audience and it just works. | ||
| It's a good time. | ||
| I bet, man. | ||
| He's fun. | ||
| I should do some shows with you guys. | ||
| Yeah, love it. | ||
| I want to get some of his crowd and see what that's like. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Oh, it's a party. | ||
| It's a party. | ||
| He's a fun guy. | ||
| He was a fun guy to do a podcast with, man. | ||
| He's a smart dude. | ||
| All right. | ||
| That's it, you fuckers. | ||
| We'll be back tomorrow. | ||
| And until then... | ||
| Oh, Russell Peters. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| See you guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. |
Export Selection