Joe Rogan and Brian Redban explore sudden deaths (like a 46-year-old’s or Patton Oswalt’s wife) and conspiracy theories, debunking claims like Burt Kreischer’s "no death" assertion while joking about Trump Tower climbers and D.C. crime. They critique the Olympics’ decaying venues, compare Michael Phelps’ brutal training to Mark Spitz’s natural talent, and slam the DEA’s Schedule I cannabis classification despite its proven benefits over alcohol. The conversation shifts to MMA ethics—dehydration, weight classes—and a hypothetical Super 6 tournament, risking fighter integrity. Rogan mocks Rotten Tomatoes’ bias, laments CGI-heavy films like Ghostbusters (2016), and praises VR’s immersive potential while dismissing wrestling as the only "fake" Olympic sport. Ending with deer car crashes, predator encounters, and a deleted Shining kiss tape, they highlight media’s absurdity and humanity’s quirks. [Automatically generated summary]
You know, they say that's what happened to Hillary Clinton, that she blacked out, she fainted and hit her head in 2012. There's all these concerns that people have.
I don't know if they're founded in any fact, but apparently the real incident did happen that she fell down.
She blacked out and fell down and hit her head and had a clot, which can be pretty serious.
But there's, you know, of course because of that there's people that are making all these crazy videos speculating that She has brain damage and she's out of her mind that she's like super unhealthy Yeah, like there's see they've taken these compilations of her, you know Look, she's doing hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of fucking interviews like this where people are talking to her and you know, it's It probably becomes mind-numbing after all.
It looks like she's having fun to me.
She's laughing, she's bobbing her head up and down, and they're saying that she's acting bizarre.
I think she's a person who's dealing with massive, massive amounts of stress.
I mean, I'm not necessarily a big fan of what she represents, other than I think it's kind of cool that there's going to be a first chick that's a president.
I think it was good to have a first black president.
As much as...
People didn't think that that was, you know, like important.
It was important socially.
It's important.
It's important.
Like having a chick president would be interesting.
It'd be interesting.
I'd like to see where it goes.
The problem with her is she represents like the oldest form of government.
She's like, do you remember that movie?
What was the fucking movie where there were the elder vampires?
You know what I'm talking about?
Like there was the, oh, Blade.
The movie Blade, right?
Where there were the ones that were turned into vampires and then there was the old ones who were born vampires.
They were natural born vampires, right?
And they didn't like Blade because he was like half human and he was, you know, he was made.
He's going to be in a mental hospital more so than a...
Jail it seems like but these kind of people are the people that hang out in like Washington DC and stuff that's why DC or Washington so So dangerous, you know, it's it's because they're attracted to this crazy thing that's already happening Well, if you have a hive of government and everybody knows it's got a centralized location.
That's the hive Washington DC is the hive of our government and the penthouse is Or the Pentagon penthouse The Pentagon is not that far from there, right?
How far is that?
It's in Virginia, right?
How far by air is the Pentagon from the White House?
And there's also that giant community of lobbyists that lives in Virginia, just outside of Washington, D.C., that Brian Callen was telling me is some of the richest people per capita in the country.
Did you see all the crime that's been going on in the Olympics?
Like I sent Jamie this video in Brazil and it's just a collection of like the first or second day of they have like these people just watching the streets for crime and it's just tons of these petty theft like People trying to just steal people's stuff.
And this video, I mean, this came out, I think, the first or second day, but this video is nonstop.
It's just happening.
People just coming up and trying to steal people's cell phones.
And some guys are really smart with it.
They get on these bikes.
And you know, when you're looking at your cell phone, you're just kind of holding it barely.
People are just coming up and taking their phones on bikes and then taking off, and it's crazy.
This guy's the biggest pussy in the world, by the way, right here.
Look how small that little kid is, and he knows that guy's following him.
He's getting close to his girl, and he's just not doing anything.
You know, here's what's one of the weirdest things about government, is that it affects all of us, right, in this room, but we couldn't be further away from the type of person that would want to run the government.
I don't want to run shit.
You don't want to run shit.
The type of people that do want to do that, they are so not like most people.
Most people do not want to run everybody.
When you get people that are in that higher echelon of government and they have the ability literally to manipulate which way the country thinks with a really persuasive, articulate speech They really have the opportunity to change the way the country feels about itself.
You know, like Kennedy.
Some of Kennedy's speeches, you would listen to them and you would want to be a better person.
You'd hear that guy talk.
And he said such poetic shit.
He was so brilliant in the way he was able to communicate.
And in a lot of ways, like...
A lot of people thought Obama was going to be like that, too.
Because it seemed like he kind of was when he was running for office.
And we seemed like, when this guy gets in, man, he's going to make some of those Kennedy-type speeches.
And he made some really good speeches, for sure.
But it always felt like everything was down the middle.
Like everything was like a 90s sitcom.
You know?
It's like there was not much chances being taken.
It was like you wanted Seinfeld and you got mad about you.
You know what I mean?
You know what I'm saying?
Not that there's anything wrong with Matt about you.
It's a fine program.
Went on a long time.
A lot of people enjoyed it.
You know, but it wasn't curb your enthusiasm.
You know, there's...
When a guy comes out like Obama in his speeches at the Democratic convention before he was elected, you'd be like, holy shit.
Like, this is going to be the guy.
He's going to be this super articulate, powerful guy who rights all the wrongs.
So one of two options.
Either, one, he was never really like that, and he was just tricking us in this brilliant, like, portrayal of this rebel, of this person who's gonna come in and give you hope and change.
Or, two, you get in there, and the sobering effect of what you're presented with every day Makes you realize like, oh my god, they're just running around putting out fires all the time.
There's a fucking, like what you're seeing from those kids in that video in the Olympics where these people are getting purse snatched and shit and tourists are getting purse snatched and pickpocketed.
That is just what happens when things are all fucked up and unbalanced.
Do you think this is the end of the Olympics just based on how much trouble this Olympics has been?
Looking at all the hotel rooms where the sinks are falling through the counters and how the water, I don't know if you saw the water today, is green because they have an algae problem or something like that.
And if you look at all the past Olympics and how all the structures, there's a website where it shows all the old Olympics and how they have all these concrete things that are just now overrun by trees and weeds and stuff and how much it costs to make all this and now it's just ruined land.
Once you put concrete on land, it's pretty much ruined.
It's really hard for it to ever be farmed on again or things to grow when there's concrete on there.
We're looking at it right now, and as we're scrolling through these pictures for people who are just listening to the audio, these things are available.
Okay, so he was the first of the superstar Michael Phelps type swimmer dudes.
I think before, I want to say before Phelps came along, and I really don't know, but I think that Spitz was the guy who won the most gold medals up until that moment, and then Phelps just fucking blew him out of the water.
It's like, I mean, I guess he kind of looks like an athlete, or he looks like your girlfriend's brother that's staying with her over the, you know, you get up in the morning, you meet him for the first time.
Well, how you doing, man?
Nice to meet you.
Oh, hey, man.
Hey, y'all got soap?
Like, that's what he looks like.
He looks like some weird fucking dude who might have worked out a couple of times in his underwear.
Like, why are you just standing in your underwear like that, dude?
I don't think there's been scientific studies done on it, unfortunately.
Here's a breakdown of his training routine.
Warm up with jackknife crunches, three sets of 20. Push-ups, three sets of 25 to 35. And bodyweight squats, three sets of 25. Begin the pool with 50-meter drills.
So it's mostly swimming stuff, it seems like, and some bodyweight exercises, crunches and squats, but the majority of his stuff is about laps.
High intensity swim distances of 200 meters, 150 meters, 100 meters and 50 meters, with 30 seconds of rest in between each interval.
He's a fucking animal.
Just think about doing that.
Sprints with high intensity.
What is a high intensity to the greatest swimmer the world's ever known?
Can you even imagine operating those RPMs that he considers high intensity when that fucking guy gets going in a pool?
You gotta be, you have to have like an insanely powerful mind to be able to do something that everybody can do, like swim, and do it faster than anybody ever.
You gotta be a fucking real, just super focused psycho.
There's tests being done on these children in the real world, and it's working.
Whether or not it's scientific, double-blind, placebo-controlled evidence, no.
But there's plenty of evidence about the medicinal benefits of cannabis.
There's plenty of it.
There's all sorts of data that seems to indicate that it has some sort of a role in reducing tumors.
It definitely helps people with anxiety.
There's a lot of factors that it does.
When Neil Brennan was on, he was talking about antidepressants, and he was like, they don't exactly know how they work.
That's a really good point, but they sell a fucking ton of different kinds of antidepressants They know how cannabis works.
They know that there's cannabinoid receptors in the human mind meaning the human brain is designed or grew up or developed Alongside cannabis it knows what to do with it.
So when you take marijuana Your body knows what it is.
Your body even produces some sort of cannabinoid response when you run.
That's part of what you're getting in the runner's high.
It just says that the THC was first discovered in 1964. You know, that's really crazy that, you know, when they're talking about, like, data, that we're talking about, like, oh, they wouldn't be using data from, like, 20 years ago.
Like, those fucking idiots, they didn't know shit back then.
We really do kind of think about it that way sometimes.
Like, somebody sent me something the other day that was from three years ago, and I immediately was like, pfft, this is fucking three years old.
It's just like an assumption that other people have done more research up until now and have looked at that, maybe.
I would assume that a lot of times, I think.
If I saw something that said it was last month, I would think at least five people have seen it since then and snopes it out and wrote another article.
Just an actual news event from two years ago is bullshit.
I don't give a fuck about it.
It's weird.
Like, you look down, like, whenever there's an article that someone will tweet or I find online or I'm reading it on Dig or something like that, if I find an old article, if I'm researching the subject, if I just start Googling it, I find something from 2013, I almost instantly go, it's like three years old, man.
Yeah, no, that's one of the interesting things about science fiction is that science fiction is a really poor indicator of what the future holds in most situations.
You know, like no one who did Star Wars or Star Trek, they didn't think they would be able to communicate with each other in real time all around the world through video and send emails and get all the information about anything you wanted to get at any given time wirelessly through the air in a little thing that's so small it slides in your front pocket.
They just said how they're doing like the 5G right now and how back in the day, you know, we started off with 3G or whatever, 2G and stuff like that.
And now I think there's only like, there's a few countries where 75% of the country is still using 2G or 3G. And how they've run out of frequencies to build the 5G. So now they're going to have to start just kicking people off, the 2G and 3G and stuff like that.
But back then, we had 3G and we were like, oh, this is great.
We can send text messages and we can send pictures now.
They weren't even thinking about Netflix HD streaming, you know?
I was trying to talk to my dad about this the other day.
How important is that phone number still to a person?
Is it...
Because there's so many different ways to communicate, and you can communicate through voice and video, through Facebook, through FaceTime, audio, and Wi-Fi.
I keep my phone on the sleep mode or whatever, the moon, that doesn't let any phone calls go through and it doesn't interrupt you with alerts or anything.
But if somebody calls you two times in a row or three times in a row, it goes through.
But I accidentally leave it on all the time and I'm like, you know, this is so peaceful, not hearing my fucking phone beeping and ringing.
So I think that's important because I think we forget that We didn't have that, you know, growing up most of our lives.
And now it's almost like an alarm clock going off every two minutes, you know?
Yeah, and it doesn't give you a chance to live like a normal life.
If you're constantly updating yourself with Twitter or with text messages and you're constantly looking at it, that's what your focus is on.
And it's almost like you're not even living your life.
You're living your life through this screen.
Like you're going into another world, like this artificially created world.
And that's how you're existing in a world where no one's talking.
If they are talking, they're talking to you, like you click on a video.
Most of the time what's going on is you're reading stuff.
You're reading stuff or someone's sending you something, LOL, they're sending you a funny meme, you're like, ah!
You know, there's those things.
And that's, like, how people are living.
Like, people are, like, seeking out funny Instagram posts, you know?
And, like, I have friends that have, they subscribe to, like, ten different funny Instagram meme posts, and just every 15 seconds they look at their phone going, ah!
Look at that!
And you can do that.
You can be fucking perpetually entertained all day if you choose to do that.
If you follow the right Instagram memes and you have the right people on Twitter that send you the interesting shit, because there's always something new, there's always some new fucking crazy thing, you're gonna be constantly entertained.
They're classifying it in Schedule 1 because that's where it's been.
And because they claim there's no known medical use or it can't be reproducible...
Whatever the fuck that means.
You can grow it, dummy.
You can get clones and grow it.
Of course it's reproducible.
It's just reproducible as a plant.
So what they're saying is they're trying to classify it as a drug.
What they're almost admitting themselves, if what we're thinking is true, if what they're saying is that you can't It's not reproducible because it's not a chemical that you can break down into a pill, if that's what they're saying.
You can't standardize it because it's too wild and it's free and it's growing.
That's almost a perfect example of the fact that you're not...
You shouldn't be in a position where you're controlling a plant.
You shouldn't be in a position where you're regulating nature.
So you're almost admitting it yourself.
It's not reproducible?
Okay, if that's what you're saying, then you're saying it's not a drug.
Okay, but it has a psychoactive effect.
Okay, now you have to prove that psychoactive effect is dangerous.
Go ahead.
There's nothing!
That's the real problem.
The real problem is classified in the category of the most dangerous, harmful drugs.
There's no evidence that that should be correct.
There's no evidence.
So that's where the DEA is failing.
They're failing way more in that than they are in even not admitting that there's medical evidence.
Because if you wanted to follow it to the strictest sense of the word, what studies have been done that have absolutely been proven in a new, modern form of the most current science, What studies have been done that show the medical benefits of cannabis?
Not how many studies are being done, but it's because it's classified as Schedule I. It's a total catch-22.
It's hard to get studies done because it's a Schedule I, and so you can't prove it shouldn't be a Schedule I because there's not very many studies.
But there's a ton of studies that have been done by universities.
There's a ton of studies that have shown positive benefits.
If you want to go back into history, even back into the Nixon administration, they were running studies that they buried the results because the results showed no harm.
They showed nothing.
So when you follow just straight science, there's no evidence whatsoever it should be illegal.
That's the most important thing.
It's not evidence of whether it should be legal.
That's like, you know, the whole thing about you're innocent until proven guilty?
It should be the same way about marijuana.
It should be that you can't just make it illegal and say it has to remain illegal because we don't know what it can do.
Because you do know what it can do.
You do.
You definitely know.
Why do you think millions of people like it?
Are they all crazy?
What's going on?
All these millions and millions of adults that live in America, are they fucking crazy?
So what are you saying?
You're saying you're smarter than them?
Why don't you talk about it with somebody that knows what the fuck they're talking about?
You'll get buried.
Talk about it with a person who's like, talk about it with like Todd McCormick.
Remember Todd McCormick having a debate with one of these DEA guys about whether or not marijuana is beneficial?
He survived cancer because of it.
A lot of people have.
We have friends that have kids that have autism.
They give their fucking kids this medical cannabis and all of a sudden they can talk, they relax, they stop having seizures.
It's a massive benefit to a lot of people.
It relaxes people, makes people feel good.
And we have a government agency in 2016 that ignores all of that.
It wants to keep it in a category of some of the most harmful and dangerous drugs.
These people are like living in an episode of Hawaii Five-0.
They're living in the past.
They're like 1950s people.
And what they think they can do is like keep this bureaucracy and this paperwork and these classifications in movement and they can head off freedom.
Because what they're trying to do is they're trying to stop freedom.
And one of the reasons why they're trying to stop freedom is because they benefit from it.
They benefit from stopping it.
They have more agents.
If all of a sudden most drugs are legal, what are those fucking thousands of DEA agents going to do?
They're protecting their own industry.
This is a natural thing that any organism does when it's threatened.
And if you start making drugs legal, and you start opening up that conversation, like...
Who the fuck is any one adult to tell any other adult what's good or bad for you?
When a lot of shit we do, whether it's the food we eat, the alcohol we drink, the cigarettes we smoke, the fucking sugar in our diet, all these things are bad for us.
We all know that.
But we're free.
Is the government gonna come in with fucking machine guns and stop you from eating a chocolate cake and smoking a cigarette?
Fuck that, right?
I think we all agree on that.
If they can't do that, they shouldn't be able to stop you from smoking weed.
This is archaic.
This is some ancient fucking vampire shit.
And they're clinging to civilization.
They are totally irrelevant.
Totally irrelevant.
Your decisions should be made 100% on the facts that are available today.
You can go.
You could research all the facts about marijuana.
You find a few that make correlations between some sort of mental illnesses, but most of the time, at least according to experts that I've listened to talk about it, the correlations of schizophrenia to marijuana use are directly in proportion with the numbers of schizophrenia for any given population.
That there's always going to be around 1% of the population that suffers from some type of schizophrenia or severe mental distraction, illness, you know, a bunch of different categories of these various mental diseases.
But it's always that number.
So if they smoked pot, it's just a thousand people, you know, that smoked pot have schizophrenia.
Okay.
If there was the same amount of people...
And they didn't smoke pot, it might be the same amount of schizophrenics.
They might not even be connected, but when you're talking about 300 million people and you say 30,000 people got schizophrenia from marijuana, are you fucking sure?
Are you really fucking sure?
Or is it just 30,000 people have schizophrenia and they also smoke marijuana?
This is the real problem with the way they present the data because it's just like you coming up to me or to Jamie and you saying that you've got new rules.
You as a 42-year-old grown-ass man, you have new rules and you don't want us drinking alcohol anymore.
You're going to come in and you've hired guards to keep us from smoking alcohol or drinking alcohol.
It's the same thing.
If it's 50,000 people with some big building with three letters in the front of it, or whether it's one crazy fuck who wants to stop his neighbor from smoking pot, it's the same thing.
You're trying to stop someone from doing something that's not bad.
Like, you can't do that.
You don't have any evidence that it's bad.
There should be a fuckload of evidence that it's bad.
And it should be as much or worse than all the shit that you know is bad that you sell open and make money from taxes.
They just released a study, I think this week, showing that they proved scientifically that weed is better for sex.
And they not only did it for pleasures, but they also explained how when you have alcohol, you cheat more, you do bad things, you hook up with people you shouldn't do, you don't use condoms, you do a lot of shit.
There was an article on a website that I go to all the time, and I don't want to make fun of the man who wrote it because I love him, but it was about fat shaming in martial arts.
It was Juliana Pena fat shames Ronda Rousey.
And Juliana Pena, who's one of the toughest 135-pound fighters in the women's bantamweight division of the UFC, she's badass.
She's talking some shit.
She's trying to get people to pay attention to her.
I mean, this is what Conor McGregor did.
It's what a lot of these fucking people do.
It's a smart business move, okay?
So that we all should be aware of, right?
I mean, it's not just a person saying this.
It's a smart business move.
So she says this quote about Ronda Rousey, and she says something about Ronda Rousey having fat arms.
And so the title of this whole piece, she wants to beat her ass, okay?
This is what she wants to do to Ronda Rousey.
She wants to hold her down.
She wants to mount her.
She wants to elbow her face bloody.
She wants to punch her eyes so that they're swollen and shut.
Then she wants to get behind her and choke her and say nasty shit to her as she puts her unconscious.
That's what she wants to do.
That's what she would like to do, right?
That's what almost all these fighters would like to do when they're locked in mortal combat.
They want to beat the other person's ass and they want to choke them out, right?
The nasty stuff, I put that in myself.
I mean, you know, point being, I've seen people say some nasty shit to people while they're choking them out, by the way.
But point being, that seems to be way worse than saying she has fat arms, right?
Yeah, I've been with a couple girls that were like an MMA, two MMA girls type girls, bodies, and it's not comfortable thinking like, oh, this girl can kill me if I do, you know, like having sex with him was weird.
I think they should make a 145 pound weight class just for her because the UFC right now has two 115 and 135 recognized classes in the women's division and they had Cyborg get down to 140 for one fight.
She fought Leslie Smith at 140. See that's more realistic that she weighs 145, but she really only weighs 145 after a brutal weight cut.
She's probably closer to 165 in real life.
But they keep making her get down to 140, which I don't fucking...
It's not...
Look, she's not going to fight at 135. She's too big.
But there's a video of her making weight for 140 that she just put up.
It's horrific, man.
She's crying.
I mean, she's like broken down.
I mean, they get so fucking drained.
And then they got to fight 24 hours later.
It's crazy.
The whole process is crazy.
It's dangerous, and it's stupid, and it's unnecessary.
You should let these athletes, like, they should figure out what, I think the real problem is, here's one of the problems, is there's specific weight classes, right?
There's like 155, there's 170, there's 185, and in each specific weight class, the guy has, there's a champion, right?
But the variety of people, like what your natural weight should be, It really should be what you are when you're healthy, in shape, and you're walking around.
And ideally, that's exactly where you should be fighting.
The problem is, people are gonna fucking game the system.
And I think what we have to do is we have to shame people to try to game the system.
People that try to dehydrate themselves and fight smaller people.
That's like contrary to everything that martial arts is supposed to be about.
It's supposed to be about testing your skills, and especially in the competition sense, versus someone who's the exact same size as you.
So you're testing your skills.
You're testing your ability against someone who is the same size as you.
But if you pretend that you're that size, but you're only that size for like an hour, because you dehydrate yourself, but then you blow up, and you're much bigger after it's over, that's sort of contrary to what martial arts is supposed to be about.
Do you think it's the frequency of the UFCs, how many there are?
I mean, they're flooding the UFCs.
There's one almost every two weeks now.
Do you think if they were like, you're only allowed to fight every three years, but we're paying you twice as much, do you think that would help out fighters?
I think, you know, it's good to have a bunch of different suggestions, but I think what right now everyone's locked into these pathways of fighting for titles.
This is what I think.
I think that's awesome.
Don't get me wrong.
I love when someone wins the belt.
I love it.
It's exciting.
You know when I get to walk up to someone and say Tyron Woodley the new welterweight champion the world like how does that sound like that's real you get to participate in one of the most special moments of an athlete's career of a fighters entire struggle as a As a competitor and one of the most difficult things a person could ever do So that that moment is like that's a crazy critical huge massive moment,
you know for anyone and I remember clearly saying it to Misha Tate.
I remember clearly saying it to Conor McGregor, Tyron Woodley, Robbie Lawler.
I remember clearly a lot of these guys.
These are huge, huge moments.
I don't think the average person, and even me, I don't think I can be as close as I am to the struggle, to the fights, and calling them all and being there.
I don't think I understand it like he understands it.
There's no way.
I can't.
There's no way I do.
I just don't.
So, there's that.
But, after that, what do we really want to see?
We want to see the best people fight the best people.
I don't know if the title of champion is the best way to do that.
I mean, we're all obsessed with who's the best, right?
And that is a good thing, I guess, because it forces people to fucking just polish that sword to the perfect sharpness.
But at the end of the day, what do we want to see?
We want to see the best people fight the best people.
If somebody had to offer you a pay-per-view tomorrow, if there's a pay-per-view they were doing tomorrow, and it's Nick Diaz versus George St. Pierre, there's no title on the line.
Who gives a fuck about a title?
I don't care at all.
I couldn't care less about a title.
If it's George St. Pierre versus Nick Diaz, I'm in.
I'm in.
I think that's the same thing with Tyron Woodley versus Nick Diaz or Tyron Woodley versus George St. Pierre.
It doesn't have to be for a title.
I want to see that.
I want to see what that is.
It's amazing when a person wins a title.
It is a gigantic achievement.
But what do you really want to see?
As a person who enjoys the sport, you want to see a guy who's beating everybody, right?
You want to see a guy who just keeps beating guys.
It doesn't matter if there's a belt on the line.
If I find out that Robbie Lawler's won six fights in a row against world-class competition, I'm like, he's beating this guy, he's beating that guy, he's beating Matt Brown, he's beating Johnny Hendricks.
I don't...
The belt doesn't mean a thing to me.
It really doesn't.
I just want to see, can Robbie Lawler beat Tyron Woodley?
Tyron Woodley beats Robbie Lawler.
I start thinking, okay, can Tyron Woodley beat George St. Pierre?
Is George St. Pierre ready to come back?
If he is, can Tyron Woodley beat him?
Or can George fight a really smart fight, a la the way Rory McDonald did?
And Rory McDonald shut down a lot of Tyron's offense in their fight and won a decision.
Or is Tyron better than he was then?
I want to see that.
Is he better?
Is he super confident now that he won the title?
Is it going to take him to some whole new level?
You beat a guy like Robbie Lawyer, you knock him out in one round.
You've got to think the momentum coming off of that has got to be stunning.
I would love to see fantasy UFC, like a show where they take maybe the fighters that have retired or people that aren't as good as the other fighters and have them almost do game show stuff.
You have to do a game and go, alright, so this fight, you have your shoes tied, you have to hold a banana and not crush it.
Did you ever see what Showtime did in boxing with the middleweight division?
They had a whole series of events a few years back with Carl Frotch and a bunch of other...
Andre Ward was in it.
Super 6, is that what it is?
Super 6 world boxing classic and it was super middleweight and they got the best super middleweights in the world and they paired them off against each other in this long running series where they were all committed to fighting each other.
It was really interesting.
Really interesting as an idea, like as a combat sport idea.
And, you know, you think about like what that could mean for the future.
I think something like that for mixed martial arts would be gigantic.
And it could generate a lot of interest.
And it could be something where they put up a ton of money.
Like instead of a world title, like what if they had an invitational?
What if someone put together an invitational?
They made a deal with the UFC. They made a deal with...
You know, 1FC or whatever the organizations are that are valid, and you have a tournament where they're all gonna duke it out, and there's gonna be some sort of split of revenue of the pay-per-view of this one tournament, and you'll have this Super 6 type thing like they did with Showtime with boxing.
So, like, getting people to throw fights, boy, that's unusual.
It's so unusual in high-end fighting, because when a fighter loses, it's not just about losing that fight, it's also about they lost their last fight, so then they're coming into their next fight, As a loser, so they're getting less money, so people don't like them as much, and, you know, if somebody hits you and you just fall down and pretend that you got knocked out, you can do that, and you can make money like that.
Somebody could bet you or promise you, right?
Someone could say, hey, dude, I'm betting 300 grand, and you go down the first round, I'll give you $100,000, bro.
I know you're only getting paid 20 grand.
And so you do that, and some dude...
That has totally been done in the world of boxing.
It's definitely happened.
I'm sure it's probably happened in the UFC. I'm not aware of it happening, but there's always the potential for people being deceptive.
And he went to jail for it, too, and he was making bets on things that he knew from inside information, whether it's like...
This particular referee calls really bad against his team because maybe he doesn't like someone on the team or something like that.
They're not supposed to do that, but he was calling out information publicly.
I think he wrote a book about it.
All the referees also then said he's bullshit, he's an asshole, he's obviously a scumbag, he went to jail.
But when you look at the track records of some of these things that he was saying, it looks to say that there is some weight that he's, there's a little bit of water there that he's, something.
Yeah, man, I would imagine if you have something where people bet on it, like professional sports, or even college sports, I would imagine there's so many people that bet on those games that there's always going to be, like, low lives.
Like, I know friends who use actual, real, old-school bookies.
That I got to experience second-hand, fortunately, with the old-school comedians that were super successful there that didn't pay taxes.
It was a giant issue, because they got caught, and one got caught, and another got caught, and then the IRS people realized, oh, none of these fucking comedians pay taxes.
How much money are these guys making?
Because you'd go to certain comedy clubs and be the same guy almost every weekend.
They had these deals.
There were certain clubs, like Nick's Comedy Stop was a big one.
They had deals with the best comics in town.
So if you went by Nick's Comedy Stop on any given night in the late 80s, you would see like Steve, Sweeney, Don, Gavin.
Um, I think I might have worked there once or twice ever at Nick's, but I was never in the position where they could offer you coke.
I wasn't, I just wasn't in deep enough.
If I had worked there, it was like a, I'd emceed something and made, and then I came back and worked there, but that was after like, I had agents and they handled the financial part of things like later or later on.
But those stories were always there.
Those guys got paid in coke, those guys got, you know, but they just fucking were animals.
They were living like savages and they weren't paying their taxes and they, one by one, they all got Fucking thunderstruck and it was a Worst-case scenario because it was like here's the comedy boom, okay?
Here's like the 80s comedy boom where everybody's got rolled up sleeves on a fucking blazer and stand on stage did you ever notice and then everybody's doing that they're all Evening at the Improv can't get enough talent because there's just not enough comedians.
They need more.
Those shows are huge.
People love sitting in front of the TV, vegging out, watching Evening at the Improv.
So these comedy clubs explode all across the country.
I mean fucking explode.
But, as Joey Diaz likes to say, they couldn't cover the spread.
They couldn't cover the spread, Joe Rogan.
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People get tired of seeing the same fucking act over and over again.
You're going out, you're buying a fucking babysitter.
I recently had to go through all my stuff for the IRS, and nowadays it's a lot better, though, I guess, than it used to be, because if you're, say, a comedian, you go through and you just go, like, oh, comedy store.
I was at the comedy store.
I'm a comedian.
And I go to the comedy store almost every single day.
But you also realize that everything you do...
As a comic, that I could write off.
The parking next door, I can write off.
If I even get Netflix, I could write that off because I'm researching Netflix.
It's pretty amazing how much you can write off and how much it's documented nowadays because everyone's using their cards instead of paying cash for everything.
It's gotten better for comics, I think, now.
Back then, I couldn't even imagine just having all those receipts and just Being like, no, I swear this is for comedy.
How many of those business lunches, though, I don't know if you've ever been on tons of them, but I used to work in restaurants where people would come in and would abuse the shit out of those credit cards and order steaks for 15 guys, and they're sitting there drinking whiskey at lunch, and they're not talking about business.
But it is business in the sense, like, say, like, Brian and I had a business opportunity for you, and we wanted you to get excited about it, so we're gonna take you out, we're gonna get you drunk, gonna buy you some steaks, And we're going to sit there and clink glasses together and we'll feel a little loose.
We'll have some camaraderie because of this booze.
But like in that movie on Wolf of Wall Street where they're sitting there and this dad's looking through all their money they spent on hookers and whatnot.
He's like, you really had to spend $78,000 on da-da-da.
We could have had lunch at McDonald's or Subway instead of having it at the Ivy or Koi or whatever and getting sushi.
We could have just got food.
Why did you have to spend $500?
You could have just spent $100, right?
Why did you guys have to have...
All the crazy steaks and $500 bottles of wine to talk about this meal.
As a comic looking for material, if you're going to make the argument of saying, I need to get material, this is what I'm going to do to get my material.
There could be anything you want to do.
You could talk about basketball, you could talk about poker, you could talk about alcohol.
Well, you mean from the employer's point of view of allowing this to happen, or from the person who's the salesperson that's out there with the business lunch?
Yeah, I could see both arguments, but honestly, I think for a lot of the people that have those accounts, it's kind of important that they form these relationships.
That's why a business lunch is actually an effective thing.
So I would think that a business lunch is one of the rare exceptions of something that makes fun that you write off, or makes sense, rather, that you write off.
But I could see that...
Movies do make sense, you know, like if you're a guy and you're You're writing your writer and you're writing a piece about modern horror movies about the lack of modern horror movies like if you're a modern if you're a fan of horror movies Fuck you have to wait a long time How long do you have to wait for a good goddamn vampire movie?
How long for a werewolf movie?
It's every 30 years.
God damn it.
Every now and then they tease you like Benicio Del Toro and that werewolf.
I'm like, oh, Benicio Del Toro, he's not going to fuck it up.
This is going to be amazing.
They fucked it up.
Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins and it's still blue.
When you're seeing Jack Nicholson, who looks exactly like Jack Nicholson with a thicker beard, he looks like Jack Nicholson that would be a barista in a handcrafted coffee place in Seattle.
That's how fucking furry he is.
Oh, he's got slightly bigger teeth, which, by the way, you can buy.
Just like you can buy dental implants, you can buy those slightly bigger teeth.
So you essentially could look fucking exactly like Jack Nicholson in this stupid wolf movie.
You could get some fake eyes where you put contacts on that make you look scary.
And so he's jumping in slow motion.
And as he's jumping in slow motion, you realize, like, that's just like a person's body.
I know that for some movies, like when you go to iTunes and you go to click on trailer for some really shitty movies, they don't really have a trailer.
They just take a chunk of the movie, like, stick it in there.
Who gives a fuck?
No one's watching this piece of shit movie.
I did that the other day.
It was some horror movie, and I tried to watch it, and I said, let me see what the trailer is.
That's what happened with Suicide Squad, apparently.
They made that cool trailer that came out earlier last year, and everyone really liked that, and, uh...
The Warner Brothers company, this is what I read, they were afraid it wasn't going to be that cool, it wasn't going to look like that, it wasn't going to deliver on that promise.
It was reportedly Vin Diesel the rock was calling a candy ass.
This is the best viral promotion of a film that has- Vin Diesel's a large gentleman, but I would bet everything I've ever made on the gentleman to the right with the goatee.
And there's also probably a lot of bullshit stories that are put into the TMZs just so you have some prior advertising of a movie that no one even knew was being filmed.
But yeah, notice how many reviewers on this one compared to how many reviewers on the one that's Universal, with Sony and Universal, work together if not owned by the same company.
Whether or not we're networked together officially, we're all connected, right?
Well, you know, kind of...
Movie reviewer type characters that are like online movie reviewer dudes.
If they say, hey man, you want to get in with this Rotten Tomatoes thing?
It's really cool.
You have to go to seven movies a week and you get paid really well and you just write these little things about it.
You're encouraged to support the big ones.
Just be fair in your criticism.
You don't have to make things up.
If you don't like something, just be fair.
Okay, cool.
And then you go in there, and then you got steady money.
You got steady money coming your way.
I don't know how much it is, but I would imagine a company like Rotten Tomatoes, which you've used, I've used, so many people have used to see a movie, they probably make some cash, right?
We're gonna take hormones and we're gonna go to a fucking doctor in Brazil and he's gonna shoot us up with the same shit that they shot up Michelle Pfeiffer with.
She looks perfect.
She looks really similar to how she looked in that wolf movie.
I've been waiting for this movie for a long-ass time, because it's kind of like a dream movie, doing a Pixar movie and having a dirty, like an old Fritz the Cat or something.
But he's so stupid in the movie that it's unbelievable.
And these girls are constantly enamored with him, in love with him, but they can't believe how dumb he is.
That's sort of this running gag, to the point where it's almost ridiculous.
But, here's what I think.
I think if that bothers you, what kind of a bitch are you that's really bothering you?
That these women are shitting on men to the point where they're taking Chris Helmsworth and they're making him dumb?
Out of all the dumb bitches that have been in movies, can't we have one movie where there's three...
Not so good looking girls take over the fucking world and save everybody and have the dudes be all fucked up looking or a mess or crazy or Chris Helmsworth and Chris Helmsworth who's perfect and beautiful also like the dumbest human being that's ever walked the face of the planet and an actor showing his head shots like the whole deal you're like super cliche I never go to the movies anymore because of the problem I'm having with things like Ghostbusters,
I don't want to give away any parts of it, but there were some clever turns in the beginning of the movie where I laughed.
I was like, this is funny.
This is funny.
And I thought to myself, I was trying to watch that movie saying, if I saw this movie without having known about the first movie, what would I think about it?
Especially because I'm taking my kids, right?
It's a good movie to take kids to.
It's fun.
Silly.
It's kind of scary.
Like, whoa, but it's obviously really fake.
It wasn't that bad.
It wasn't the point where anybody would get mad.
The only reason why anybody got mad is because it's a redo of the original Ghostbusters and it's all women instead of all men.
Everybody got fucking terrified or angry or frustrated or pissed or these fucking social justice warriors.
My thought is who gives a fuck?
Is that really a concern that they've decided to try to make money by redoing Ghostbusters with chicks?
With the point where you saw them in some scenes earlier and they were really fun and unexpected and light, fun kind of scenes.
Like, this movie's kind of fucking weird.
It's like...
It's not a bad movie.
And then you're like...
But it's kind of bad here.
This part's kind of bad.
It's not like a bunch of different movies It's not like if you go back and watch like pick a classic movie like if you go watch the outlaw Josie Wales The outlaw Josie Wales is the outlaw Josie Wales from minute one to the time of the end of the movie It doesn't vary in the way it feels.
It feels like the outlaw Josie Wales.
It's a beautiful work of art It's seamless In its production, like the way it portrays everything is the same through the whole movie and it builds up and it makes you feel like you're really engrossed and gripped in it.
This movie didn't do that.
This Ghostbusters movie would take you in and pull you away and take you, push you away from it.
It was like it would be so clunky at times.
You'd be like, what?
Is this the same movie that did that YouTube thing earlier that was so hilarious?
Is this the same movie?
How did this get through?
Did you guys just...
Who gave you notes?
Did you guys get shitty notes?
Like, what happened?
I want to know what happened.
Because, like, if that Ghostbuster movie came out...
And it was all chicks, but it was fucking bang and just hilarious.
Like, what is that movie that all the girls love that I haven't seen that's supposed to be hilarious?
When it's not on Netflix and it's not on Hulu, I'd rather spend $10 and buy it on iTunes than go to a movie and spend $50 on everything.
So I buy a lot of movies now, and in so many movies that I've heard nothing but good things about this movie, I'm like, God damn it, I wasted $10 on that fucking piece of it.
Well, unless you're P-Diddly, and you've got some gigantic-ass fucking house with a movie theater in it, you're not going to get the same effect of the sound.
I think...
When someone is a composer, like, let's take, for example, like, certain movies that have amazing soundtracks, and, like, you hear things, like, happening behind you.
Like, the most recent Star Wars movie, the soundtrack was incredible.
Right, it's also a movie that might be better if you absorb it by yourself.
You don't want to be influenced by anybody because it's such a movie that makes you think so much.
Like even the end of it, the end of it just sort of, I don't want to give it away, but it's a very strange ending, but it's one of the best movies I've ever seen.
But it's one of those movies where as you're watching it, you're like in gripped.
You're just, it takes you to this place.
And you don't want to be distracted in any way when you're dealing with this.
It's not doing anything you expect it to do.
It's doing all sorts of weird shit.
It's very different than a lot of movies.
In a lot of movies, they have this very specific formula that even if they get creative inside that formula, they still stick to the formula and the good guy wins in the end and all that stuff happens.
This movie is not like that at all.
No Country for Old Men.
It took me a couple of years to really appreciate what it was all about.
I saw it, I was like, God, the acting is so good, the story's so compelling, but what is missing in this thing?
What's missing is it's not tidy.
It's like this just spectacular work of drama, so much shit going on, and it just leaves you with this feeling of, whoa, at the end of it, you know?
And I think that, you know, movies like that, that's a rare accomplishment.
It's sort of like when we were talking about Michael Phelps being so incredible, it's something that everybody could do.
There's all kinds of movies that are awesome, and then every now and then you get a movie that makes you go, whoa.
Taylor Negron came up to me after one of my sets one night and was like one of the nicest compliments but also like really honest and And curious like we had like a really cool conversation was like this is like the least Hollywood conversation between two men that do the same business in Hollywood ever He was like super honest about like subject matter,
you know, we were talking about like Like he he said that he's always wondered like what should he talk about on stage and he's sometimes he's confined himself He was saying that he wondered or worried whether or not the audience would appreciate his own, the things that he thought were interesting.
So instead he was writing and talking about stuff that he thought that they would think would be interesting and that he was trying to change that.
So we had this really interesting talk about it.
But he died like really suddenly of like a weird disease, I think.
One of the things that I was watching this thing on planets and about the expansion of the universe, and not only the expansion, but the fact that it's accelerating, it's moving apart faster and faster, and that they didn't know this 20 years ago.
And I was listening to this guy speak about it, and I remember thinking to myself, like, that is so crazy.
Like, that is a huge factor in our existence.
That this universe is not just static, but it's moving away, and it's accelerating in some sort of strange way.
And that they can measure it.
When they measure it over 10 or 20 years, it's a measurable number that allows them to discern, like, okay, we're positive that this thing is not just moving, but accelerating.
And this is our universe.
And they just figured that out 20 years ago.
Like, we're just waking up.
It's like we're on a starship, and we're flying through the universe.
We just came out of hyperspace.
And we're all like, okay, where are we going?
What is, what's, what is this?
Okay, does anybody have a manual?
Yeah, here's a manual.
We're gonna go look through the shit that the old people wrote down.
We literally are like exactly the same thing.
Like, we get taught by people who get taught by people who get taught by people who are basically monkeys.
You know?
This is like a few chains away from us and dudes with sticks trying to kill giraffes and shit.
There's not that many.
If you go back in time, like, numbers, what do you get, like, 20, 30 times?
And then you're in the caveman era?
That shit is not that far ago, man.
It's not that far ago.
So we're like waking up in the middle of like this trip.
This whole galaxy hurling through the universe, going a thousand miles an hour in a circle, flying around a huge nuclear explosion a million times bigger than it.
Just flying through the universe.
And we're waking up.
And we're going, what about gay marriage?
Fuck that.
Not on my watch, bro.
Okay, okay, okay.
What do you think about taxes?
Well, we need to revamp the entire tax system.
We need the IRS. And you've got to wear your powdered wig.
And meanwhile...
Flying through infinity and we're just realizing it.
We're just like, oh we're not not only is the Sun not the center of the universe, not only is the Earth not the center of the universe, but this galaxy is one of hundreds of billions.
There's untold numbers.
Not only that, but inside each galaxy is a supermassive black hole that's one half of one percent of the mass of the entire galaxy and if you go through that there might be an unlimited number of universes.
I know it's just like every girl I know either is taking like over-the-counter like what's that stuff that's in good on it stuff new mood 5-HTP yeah no no the one that makes it tryptophan yeah like or they're taking that's supposed to make you relax yeah but everyone every girl I know is has something to help her sleep almost you know Consider what you just said, first of all.
It's really not a good idea to eat a lot of food before you go to bed because a lot of times your body starts digesting that food and it uses up resources, which you should go to bed.
You shouldn't be hungry, but there should be some time between when you eat and when you go to bed.
Allow your body to digest some food so that your body can adequately go into the many stages that it requires to really rebuild your system.
I think he asked someone what to do, and I think they said put it down.
So, I mean, if you're going to put it down, the way he did it, even though it looked crazy because he did it in front of everybody, but the way he did it was the best way to do it.
I mean, I don't know what they're gonna do with the body.
I would hope, hope, they give that meat to Hunters for the Hungry.
There's a program that's in America where hunters, like, say if you come over here to experience, like, the Midwest, Of the United States, like Iowa in particular, Kansas, a lot of these areas are famous all across the world for having these gigantic white-tailed deer.
And it becomes a thing, like white-tailed deer in the Midwest of the United States.
This is something I've only found out over the last few years, obviously, of me getting interested in hunting.
But white-tailed deer hunting, like people hear about it from Scotland, and they want to come over here.
People hear about it from China, and they want to come over here.
They want to experience what it's like to hunt white-tailed deer in Iowa.
It becomes like this thing.
And sometimes people from other places that don't live in Iowa, they'll put in tags.
And they'll put in tags over and over and over and over and over and over.
And finally they get one.
And they can go there and they can experience what it's like.
And then they can't bring the meat back to China or Australia.
They won't let you.
Like if you try to fly with a dead deer from the United States and fly it into Australia, they'll be like, fuck you.
Okay?
Fuck you.
You can't take a chance and go across the fucking ocean.
It's really funny.
Because if you go from Nevada to like Ohio, they're like, okay, what do you got in there?
Even if you try to bring an animal down from Canada, like into the United States.
Well, I mean, I'm talking about a dead animal.
You know, you're trying to bring a dead animal.
So it's one of those things where...
These people donate money, or they donate food.
So if they come over here and they want to experience, if they're a hunter from Australia and they want to experience what it's like to hunt in Iowa, they can donate money, or in the sense of they can donate food, rather, to a lot of hungry people.
If you shoot a 200-pound white-tailed deer, that's going to feed, that's going to be more than probably in the neighborhood of 150 meals.
That's amazing.
You can give that away to all these people that need it, you know, if you're from some other place.
This says also that the deer was believed to be injured and was going to harm motorists if they tried to shoo it away, which is why they didn't do that.
It used to be about some people used to like to run it.
There's two things going on.
One, some people like to run it with the graphics muted because their video card can't handle the frames per second required to run it at, like, high resolution with high frame rates.
The higher frame rates make things more smooth.
So if you get, they say the human eye can only see 30 frame rates a second, they need to update that.
I know for a fact they need to update that because there's, or at least maybe it doesn't apply, I should say, to video games.
Because there's something that happens in video games when it goes from 30 frames per second to 120 frames per second plus.
It becomes far smoother and when it's smoother there's less calculation as far as where that person is at any given time because even though your mind Can't really say, oh, I see where there's a bunch of frames that are rolling by, and that's giving me this illusion of movement, and it's all being calculated by a CPU. Your brain doesn't really totally get that, but there's some amount of data that's getting through when something's kind of clunky.
There's some amount of data that's getting through that, oh, this is not, I just got to figure out where that thing's going to be, but that thing, it's all like hickey, it's a hiccup-y thing.
When it gets to 120 frames per second, it's smooth as butter.
Then it starts looking like, okay, this is a cartoon.
Now I'm watching a cartoon.
A cartoon's smooth, right?
A cartoon doesn't have any herky-jerky stuff to it.
And this is like a super smooth cartoon.
Like some of the video games you play, like Unreal Tournament.
Remember Unreal Tournament when you get it to high resolutions and you hear the screams of the players and you hear the fucking laser beams shooting through the air.
It's crazy, right?
It's crazy.
High frames per second.
It's very smooth It's really fun and interesting to watch and when that happens your mind doesn't have to calculate as much Because it it's more predictable.
It's like it's it's smoother.
It's more It's more pleasing to the eyes, but you're still dealing with all those textures So you're calculating whether you like it or not or even note or not every time you pass by some gothic Stone wall and there's moss on it.
It's amazing looking your mind is It either has to deny the existence of that or it has to calculate that into what its model of the world is.
So it's extra processing power.
It's unnecessary.
So if the walls were all, like, the best players, what they would do is they would turn all the textures off.
So they would only have this, like, weird, like, Tron world.
Like, if Tron blew a fuse...
And you're in this strange virtual environment where all the walls are flat and matte white, you know?
Find one that has the shadows off too, because that happens too.
Some crazy fuckers, it might not be in Quake 3, which I think that is, or that's Quake Live, but in the older games, guys had gotten it down to almost nothing.
There was no shadow, there was no nothing.
Everything was like this weird artificial environment.
If you just write textures off, just like Quake 2, write Quake 2. Shadows off and textures off in Quake 2. It might be a hack, really.
It might not even necessarily be something that...
This looks like Nintendo 64. Graphics are not the best, but seriously, man, you're not gonna give a fuck when you're wearing those goddamn HTC Vive goggles.
It is the coolest shit in the world.
You should get together with Duncan, go to his house, do his podcast, and play the Vive before you do it.
Well, maybe, because if they can monetize the HTC and the Oculus to the point where they can lock down the format, like the way they have the iPhone locked down, you can't add anything to the App Store unless Apple gives you approval.
If they can control it in that sort of same way, I'm not saying that's the best thing for everybody, because I kind of like the idea of open source things.
I use a Mac.
And I use it for convenience and because I'm too busy.
I ain't got time to fuck with some Windows shit.
But part of me likes the fact that Windows is open.
And I've heard that argument before.
I've had conversations with people before where they're like, look, anybody could write shit for Windows.
It's like you can make products that work on Windows.
You can make your own laptops.
You can put together your own desktops.
It's a much more open sort of a platform.
Then Mac is because Mac is the software developer and the hardware developer.
The good thing about that is everything works pretty fucking good.
Like you get a laptop from Apple, you're pretty fucking sure it's gonna work awesome.
I think what we're going to see, though, is especially when the Xbox and the PlayStation release their VR counterpoints, I think that's when it's really going to become an everyday thing.
And I think it's going to hurt the...
These kind of guys, like the HTCs and the Oculus people, a lot.
Because I think it's going to be like computer games, and then, oh hey, this is an Xbox, you know?
That kind of killed PC gaming a lot, in a lot of ways.
I think there's going to be a lot of copyright lawsuits for sure, because they're going to have to figure out who invented the critical aspects for truly immersive virtual reality.
What critical aspects are there?
Have they identified them?
Who invented those?
Because those are huge.
You know, if one guy figured out a way to make the frame rates incredibly smooth, so there's no ability to discern when you're moving left or right, whether you're moving fast or slow.
If one guy wrote some sort of a program or figured out something to do, I would imagine, and I'm not a lawyer, obviously, but I would imagine there'd be some sort of a case for that.
Like, all these trolls, patent trolls, that Apple gets hit with all the time.
Like, I would imagine that it's going to be crazy when it comes to this stuff.
Well, there's definitely some shit going down in these, like, if you follow, like, Social media news feeds, like people that are on the scene that are talking about some cop shooting some kid or something like that.
I mean, that's one of the best ways to get some data.
The question is the veracity of the data, like whether or not it's...
God damn, I sound like a professor.
I need to apply for a job somewhere.
Teaching.
The veracity of the data must come into question.
The biases of the person.
Did you go to their Twitter page?
What are they into?
How many Noam Chomsky books have they read?
Are you sure they're right?
You never know.
But you can find out some shit's going down.
There's a video of the Dallas shootout between the guy and the cops.
The former military guy who killed all those fucking cops.
I think it was him that did it or someone else who shot someone else.
I don't know.
Here's all I saw.
A person was running down the street and a person and these two people involved in a gunfight and one guy shot behind the guy and hit the wall behind them and then used that as a distraction to run in front of him and shoot him when he's laying down.
But like in Grand Theft Auto, I don't even play the missions.
I'll just go to the gun store get as much as I possible possibly can I have like this one part where I hide on this Like second floor of this house and I pretty much or the comedy store hanging out the commie store And I pretty much just put it down grenades and bombs and blow up until there's so many cars It's just a pile of meat on Sunset Boulevard and it's it's great fun yeah, but that's It is fucked up that you could be a monster.
But it's gotten to the point where I used to play games, not this game, but City of Heroes, this like dorky game, but I played it straight for a month, like every single hour of the day a long time ago.
Yeah, he used to do this joke about, you want to see UFOs walk behind me when I'm farting up a flight of stairs?
You'll see Martians?
He has no tolerance for nonsense.
If Eddie Bravo starts talking about UFOs or anything like crazy crypto fucking zoology type shit or whatever Eddie's into recently, Joey will fucking get up and leave the room.
unidentified
Joe Rogan, I don't want to listen to your fucking UFO talk, okay?
I got it from four different people, not even Joe's people.
I got it from one of Joe's friends, but everybody else at the store is saying the devil, you're walking around with a fucking crucifix on your head and shit.
duncan i would always go to like his friend's house that guy and you'd be in these houses and it was like people that believed in Satan, maybe not seriously or anything, but I remember going, wow, Duncan is in some deep shit, right?
But to Duncan, it was always, I think, a joke, but it was, we were hanging out with really intense people, you know?
Yeah, well, Duncan's into intense humans and intense ideas, and for a while he was really attracted to this idea, not of Satanism in that Satan is an actual being and that the devil is real and that you're praying to the devil, but Satanism in that these people are essentially hedonists.
They were just seeking pleasure and trying to have as much fun as they could, but they were also allowing other people to do it, too.
So he was redefining what Satanism is.
I'm like, well, if that's...
Okay, that's the problem with all ideologies.
You're locked into If you want to call it Satanism, and it's all, hey man, just be free, just have a good time, and, you know, just fucking do whatever feels good.
Terrible, don't get a president.
But there's a big difference between that in and of itself, which is an awesome idea, right?
Like, everybody agrees.
Like, you should, yeah, have fun, man, we're only here for a little bit of time.
If you like getting your toes sucked...
Fucking get your toes sucked.
Who cares?
Right?
But there is a big fucking difference between that and something that's connected to a demon.
It's connected to a fallen angel who became a devil, who lives in a smoldering inferno in the middle of the earth, and if he gets a hold of you and you don't listen to God, you will burn to the end of time.
What?
What are you, retarded?
Why does it have to be connected to that?
Why is, like, good feeling and having a good time and pleasure and being a...
a ho-bag?
If that's what you're into, if you're a girl, you're, like, wearing dental floss up your ass and going out to bars and sucking three dicks, who cares?
I mean, it's not the best one, but it's like taking a Motorola StarTAC.
If someone says, do you have a cell phone?
You're like, yes, I do.
And you pull out a Motorola StarTAC.
They're like, that's not a fucking cell phone.
But it is.
It's just not a good one.
Like, are we already in the simulation?
Yeah, yeah, it's already happened.
It's just not good yet.
You kind of know it's there.
But it's definitely a simulation.
And it's getting way weirder.
It's getting way weirder.
I feel like when I pay attention to the news and I pay attention to the internet and I just, like, step back and look at this crazy Trump-Clinton race and I look at This is bizarre strange world that we find ourselves sort of like waking up in.
I can only imagine how fucking weird it's gonna be in a decade.
I can only imagine.
We should really consider getting water and shelter and figuring out how to get solar power.
The problem is when you have that and things that are like regular cars that are driving the same road together, if you go under someone, you're almost like in contact with them.
So if you get in an accident while you're under there, Guys will change lanes while they're underneath those buses, and they'll collide into each other, and they'll fucking spin the bus out of control.
It'll go off the rails.
It'll crash into other people.
The Pope will die in a horrible crash on the 405 in Los Angeles.
The best Pope we've ever had was lost to this ridiculous policy of public transportation.
Los Angeles has always been an individual transportation city.
I'm looking at this article, I found out this might not even be real.
Like this thing obviously exists, it's a real thing, but this exact one they showed last week or whenever this came out was the same, whatever train bus you want to call it, they showed in a test that they used six years before this, and it was only on like a 300 meter piece of land, and now this says if this project is even feasible or if it's even real.
It should just be razor-sharp swords that if you're so retarded you want to step out or you want to push your cow in front of the train just to make a YouTube video, it just gets exploded instantaneously.
When you go to like places like South Dakota, any of those places where there's a lot of deer, I think, would you say Michigan is the worst?
Do you want me to say Michigan?
We went over the country like how many different people get in car accidents with deer every year and I think Michigan was fucking insane, like more than a hundred thousand people get in car accidents a year with deer.
There's a lot, and there's rules of whether or not you can eat it.
If you get there right after the accident, I think you can call the cops in some states, and they'll let you take the deer home and eat it, which is nice.
I mean, if somebody leaves it behind...
Look, if you're a person that's poor, and you run across a deer that just got hit by a car, that's like 100 pounds of meat.
That's like 100 meals.
I mean, that's amazing for your family.
You can all...
So there's a lot of people that get excited about roadkill, but the real problem is it kills, I think it kills 200 people a year in this country.
Is that the number?
I think it's 200 people a year in this country alone die from collisions with deer.
You're not supposed to walk back, but you have to be careful in challenging it.
You're not supposed to look at it in the eyes, because it might instill a primal rage in that fucking murderous predator, where it just decides to fuck you up.
It's hard to say what you're supposed to do and what you're not supposed to do, because I've heard people say that you should talk loud, and I've heard people say that you should just walk away.
And I've had a bunch of the same kind of cats, and they behave different.
All fucking animals are different, man.
You can run across one wolf that wants to fuck you up, and you can come across another wolf that doesn't want to have anything to do with you, wants to stay in the background and move away from you.
So it's entirely possible that this guy just ran across a cat that was thinking about eating a person.
There wasn't a sequel, but that guy made, I think...
More than a hundred hours of footage.
He had an entire show that they did on one of the reality TV channels where it was a Grizzly Man show where it was like they edited a lot of his lost footage and it was really fascinating.
Because as misguided as this guy was, he was definitely misguided.
And he definitely had some issues, for sure.
He really did love bears, and he was really passionate about bears, and he was passionate about describing various aspects of their behavior, and it was really interesting.
And he got some fucking badass footage, man.
He got some incredible footage, like really close-up footage of bears fighting.
He got footage of bears coming right up to him and literally sniffing his hand and running away.
He got footage of wild foxes becoming his friend, like hanging around his camp and he would feed them and hang out with them.
They'd steal his hat.
He got amazing footage.
So if you look at the guy as just like a wildlife photographer, He's like one of the greatest of all time, in a way.
Because what he did was something that nobody was willing to do.
And I think the dude was like, I want to say he was like 240 pounds and Pedro Sauer was like 150. Yeah.
And he got in this like street fight with this guy in a gym.
And this is back in the day when like the Gracie challenges were going on and shit like that.
This is the guy.
He's fucking jacked.
And Pedro Sauer, I believe is Hicks and Gracie lineage.
I apologize if I'm wrong.
But either way, he's a super respected...
I know he's Gracie.
He's got a Gracie Gi on.
Super respected jiu-jitsu instructor and competitor.
So he's got this giant bodybuilder in front of him, and he's front leg side kicking him in the thigh.
This is so old school.
I wish I knew what year this was.
But he keeps hitting him with this front leg side kicking him in the thigh.
He's way smaller than this guy.
And the bodybuilder has yet to move.
Now he tries to make his move, and he throws a punch.
But it ain't working.
And Pedro Sauer starts jacking him with punches, and so the guy takes him down.
So now when the guy takes him down, Pedro Sauer immediately sweeps him, mounts on him, and the dude rolled him over at least one time, but Pedro didn't really take any damage.
You see how good a real, legit Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner Is at protecting himself, and then especially the fact that he's wearing a gi, which is even better.
Because he can really, even though the other guy is bare-chested, if Pedro's wearing a gi, he can control the guy because it's all, it's grippy.
You know, the gi allows you to hold on to a big fucking sweaty gorilla like this guy.
Now they're more real entertainers, but they can wrestle.
Obviously Brock Lesnar can wrestle.
But the original days of pro wrestling, it wasn't fake.
It is the weirdest thing that is the only sport that's a sport in the fucking Olympics, but in the professional world, it's fake.
And when I say fake, I don't mean it disrespectfully.
I know I joked around about pro wrestling and a lot of pro wrestling fans get super butt hurt.
Listen, I absolutely respect the athletes and their abilities and what they're doing.
I like to fuck with Tony Hinchcliffe, folks.
Okay?
It's fun.
He loves wrestling a little too much.
And if you got burned along with that, I'm so sorry.
But my honest feelings about pro wrestling is it disturbs me.
That guys who are so good and women who are so good at wrestling don't have a professional venue for it where wrestling is so exciting on an amateur level.
Whereas tennis players have massive opportunities.
Everybody else has massive opportunities.
I mean, I guess swimming doesn't.
But a lot of big time sports have these huge opportunities.
But what swimming doesn't have is amateur swimming and then fake swimming.
Where they're rolling out like, he's got jello!
He got the Jell-O, ladies and gentlemen.
unidentified
Michael Phelps is doing the world record in Jell-O! I like this.
We'd have Mauro Ranello, and he would have Elton John sunglasses on and a fucking Chuck Liddell mohawk, and he'd be doing the pro wrestling version of swimming.
We're going to go pro swimming.
Yeah, Nick fucking, what's his name, the guy who runs pro wrestling?
Vince McMahon.
Vince McMahon, he puts a fucking bandana on his neck, and he has one of those Mark Spitz mustaches.
This is his new look.
And he just talks about pro swimming.
unidentified
We're taking pro swimming the same place we took pro wrestling!
Well, apparently, these shows are doing not so good because of the internet.
Because of the different...
Like if you're talking about like where you get your news and your entertainment and your coverage of different sports, a lot of people are turning to the internet.
Say if you had a studio, okay?
And you had a studio in Hollywood and you said, hey, you know what?
I enjoy the UFC coverage.
I enjoy Bellator's coverage.
I enjoy all these different mixed martial arts, but I want to do my own news show and I'm just gonna put it on YouTube and I'm gonna hire Dean Thomas.
It's essentially what Dana White's done with that Looking for a Fight show.
What if someone comes along and says, I'm going to do that with Cowboy Cerrone, some fun, colorful characters, and I'm going to have them talk about fights every week.
Who's going to watch the ESPN show?
If you can watch Brian Stan, Dominic Cerrone, or Donald Cerrone, and Dominic Cruz talk about fights.
Who the fuck is going to watch anything else?
I want to hear what they have to say.
I want to hear what Donald has to say about Conor McGregor.
I want to hear what Dominic Cruz has to say about Cody Garbrandt.
I want to hear what these super influential fighters Who are like some of the most interesting characters in the world, I have to say.
You're not going to be able to recreate that with some talking head that used to cover women's volleyball and now he's covering MMA. And you know, last night, blah blah blah, Amanda Nunes became the fourth...
A friend of mine was going to do something on the internet recently, and he's like, this group wants to pay me money to be associated with this.
And I go, okay, what are you going to do it on?
And he goes, I'm going to do it on YouTube.
And I'm like, okay, why would you want someone coming along and being a part of that?
When you can just do it yourself.
I'm like, if you get in bed With this person, or this group, this media conglomerate.
You get to bed this media conglomerate with your project that you're trying to launch online.
You're going to be relieved of some of the financial burden, but in this case, I'm talking to a guy who's not hurting for money.
I'm like, you're not talking about a substantial investment.
What do you need?
You need a camera?
You need an employee?
You need an upload place?
Something like YouTube is essentially free.
You just need a good internet connection, good computers.
The price of entry is not exorbitant in relationship to the potential.
But if you get involved with some sort of a media conglomerate, these guys, all these people are very smart.
All these people that are involved in all these different networks, they have existed for the longest time.
They are the old vampire versions of Hollywood.
They've existed forever.
And they've grown up in this system.
And some of them have come along in different transitionary phases of the system.
But they realize right now the system is in jeopardy.
It's in a very strange place.
Because the internet is slowly becoming more and more prevalent in people's lives, it's consuming more and more of people's entertainment time, and it's becoming more powerful in its abilities.
The ability that someone has today is what you could create and edit on a computer.
It's literally getting to the point where I can make a movie with you and you don't even have to be in it.
I can just decide that I'm going to make fucking Slumber Party 10 with Jamie Vernon and Jamie Vernon shows up at the door with a fucking pizza delivery outfit on and 15 skanky hoes just dive on its pecker and we make a porn.
I mean, that's 100% possible.
That's only like 10 years away from now, man.
And you're going to be able to stream things online.
You're going to be able to create a film with a regular laptop and a fucking phone.
I read an article about what you're talking about, really.
They use the example of the new Pee Wee Herman movie, that he looks a little too young for what he should be throughout the movie, but the article describes how there's this thing called what they call CGI facelifts.
There's multiple million-dollar actors and actresses that use teams of people to keep them younger-looking in movies, like what they did for Benjamin Button.
They made Brad Pitt stay younger-looking.
He was a strapping 22-year-old dude when he was really 45. That's just a filter.