May 16, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:20:00
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Da-da-da-da! | |
| We are live! | ||
| That better be the black bottle, too. | ||
| We're discussing how annoying it is. | ||
| I listened to the podcast, an episode that I did with Whitney Cummings. | ||
| I was listening to it because I had the long drive back from Irvine, and I realized how annoying it is. | ||
| I'm always clearing my throat. | ||
| I was telling Jamie he makes the best butter coffee, but it's a stout batch, and it gives you a lot of ahem. | ||
| A lot of butter, son. | ||
| Yeah, it's good, though. | ||
| Tastes goddamn good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm wired right now. | |
| It's like a hug. | ||
| It's like a coffee hug. | ||
| Tate says about coffee. | ||
| Tate from Cayman Coffee. | ||
| Warm coffee. | ||
| He says it's like a warm hug. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| I was with Keith Jardine. | ||
| I kind of ran into him at the airport. | ||
| And we were somewhere, I can't remember, and he said, you've got to follow me. | ||
| And I was like, what? | ||
| He goes, just follow me. | ||
| There's a very special coffee place here. | ||
| And literally, I'm like, okay, I don't know where I'm going. | ||
| And we walked like a mile, like, you know, one of those airports. | ||
| Brings me to this place. | ||
| He goes, this is the one place they have very good coffee. | ||
| You know, he talks kind of like, really kind of. | ||
| And they were closing. | ||
| And he said, do you mind staying open just a little bit longer? | ||
| And the guy looked at his ears and he's like, I suppose. | ||
| He goes, thank you. | ||
| We'll have a couple of these coffees, please. | ||
| Guy pours us the coffees. | ||
| And it was just so funny to watch this brute of a man sip the coffee with such detail and break down the taste. | ||
| He's like, a lot of citrus in this. | ||
| It sounds like you're about to get raped. | ||
| I don't like this conversation at all. | ||
| Just suck this dick. | ||
| Come with me. | ||
| I don't really want to. | ||
| Just come with me. | ||
| Can you stay open? | ||
| We don't really want to. | ||
| Just stay open. | ||
| This is weird. | ||
| Why are your hands on my shoulders? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It sounds like he's a bully. | |
| Sit down. | ||
| I'm going to talk to you about something nobody gives a fuck about. | ||
| The flavor of coffee. | ||
| I want you to smell my breath after I drink it and get a little closer to my mouth. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Now let's go ahead and drink deeply of my lips. | ||
| No, for real though, Keith loves coffee. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a smart dude. | |
| He's a very smart dude. | ||
| And he loves to go to coffee shops. | ||
| I remember when we were training together, we'd get done training and he would take off to a bookstore or a coffee shop, put on his glasses and just read and sip coffee. | ||
| I was like, damn! | ||
| I love it. | ||
| Yeah, he's a smart dude. | ||
| He's a very misunderstood guy, Keith Jardine. | ||
| Soft spoken, the nicest guy of all time. | ||
| Yeah, if you've got a problem with Keith Jardine, you might be a piece of shit. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You've got a problem with all of us. | ||
| How is it even possible? | ||
| He's so nice. | ||
| He's just a very unusual, interesting, humble guy. | ||
| Tate fucking loves coffee. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As does Tate. | ||
| Tate loves the shit. | ||
| Tate drinks too much. | ||
| Tate will sit here and we'll do a podcast together. | ||
| The motherfucker will down four nitros. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Each nitro is 270 milligrams of caffeine. | ||
| Dude, we're in his club. | ||
| Where were we at? | ||
| In Texas? | ||
| In Dallas? | ||
| We were at one of his clubs. | ||
| We had our after party. | ||
| The hunky-dunk place? | ||
| Yeah, something like that. | ||
| And he goes, bro, I have four kegs of nitro. | ||
| I was like, it's one in the morning. | ||
| What the hell are we supposed to do with it? | ||
| You go all night, man. | ||
| We don't understand. | ||
| He's sober. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dead sober. | |
| Dead sober. | ||
| And he'll use a lot of butter in that beard. | ||
| He'll use a lot of butter in that beard. | ||
| And he's not above grabbing me about the waist and pulling me right into his lap. | ||
| And I'm just like, I'm sitting in your lap right now and I'm afraid to move out of the way. | ||
| He smells like a bookstore. | ||
| He has like a unique smell. | ||
| Like a hippie bookstore. | ||
| Yeah, like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like wax and B.O. You call it tattered covered books. | |
| You call it B.O. I call it possibility. | ||
| It's a weird vibe. | ||
| He smells like Woodstock. | ||
| But see, a lot of those dudes that are sober, and you know I love Keith, Tate to death. | ||
| I love both of them, but I love Tate to death. | ||
| Like, Tate's my brother. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| There was, um... | ||
| A lot of the Alcoholics Anonymous guys, any sobriety guys, they drink a lot of coffee. | ||
| A lot of coffee. | ||
| That's where they're getting there. | ||
| They're just getting a little charge, a manageable charge that doesn't fuck up your life. | ||
| But it gives you a little... | ||
| They like it. | ||
| Some of them like cigarettes, unfortunately. | ||
| Coffee and cigarettes together for alcoholics. | ||
| I'm like, boys, I don't know if you're doing... | ||
| I mean, I guess you're not ruining your life in terms of decision-making with the cigarettes like you would be with the booze. | ||
| You're messing your body up though more, right? | ||
| It's still a nicotine... | ||
| Arguably more. | ||
| It's replacing one addiction for another. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It depends on how much you're boozing though, right? | ||
| I bet you could kill yourself. | ||
| Well, you could definitely kill yourself in one night with booze, right? | ||
| And you can't do that with cigarettes. | ||
| No. | ||
| So I guess it's more toxic to drink. | ||
| A lot of those addicts become like marathon runners because the endorphins they get from running long, it's the same thing. | ||
| So they get all skinny. | ||
| I was with Joe Schilling yesterday. | ||
| And it's just so cool to watch that guy just light up to be just a world champion kickboxer and then just smoke a cigarette once in a while. | ||
| It's just like, I'm so fucking... | ||
| Tobacco doesn't fucking fuck with me, man. | ||
| I'll kick cancer in its ass. | ||
| I was like, how long have you been smoking? | ||
| He goes, since I was 12. Yeah, it's unfortunate, because I think it slows him down a little bit. | ||
| Joe's awesome even with it, but I definitely think it's a performance detriment. | ||
| It just is. | ||
| If a sport relies on cardio as a huge factor, why would you personally limit one of the biggest factors I mean, you can mitigate it somewhat with hard training and a healthy lifestyle and, you know, moderation. | ||
| Only smoke a few days. | ||
| You can mitigate it. | ||
| But think about a sport where people are trying so hard for little tiny fucking bumps of improvement. | ||
| At that level, yeah. | ||
| Talking about 1% makes you a world champion. | ||
| But sometimes, though... | ||
| But hold on. | ||
| Is there a difference between... | ||
| I mean, the amount of... | ||
| Decrease in performance you would get from smoking cigarettes versus the amount of increase in performance you can get from taking some things. | ||
| Like, what's this shit they keep getting popped with? | ||
| The Russian boxer just got popped. | ||
| Melodium. | ||
| Melodium, yeah. | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| Jamie, see if you could find that, please. | ||
| I think it's called Melodium. | ||
| Is it like a version of EPO? Like it raises your red blood cells? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's similar. | |
| Novitski explained it to me, but a lot of Russian guys are getting caught with it. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| This is what's important. | ||
| It was legal until December. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But going back to Joe Schilling, this is my only, and I don't advocate smoking ever, right? | ||
| My family members die from it, cancer, all that stuff. | ||
| But with Joe Schilling, a guy like that, if he smokes every now and then, I don't know how often he's smoking, but if he's smoking cigarettes... | ||
| And it allows him to be more free and creative inside the ring. | ||
| It's almost helping him. | ||
| How could cigarettes rely him to be more creative? | ||
| Maybe it calms his nerves. | ||
| He's been doing it for so long. | ||
| It's a ritual for him. | ||
| So it's almost the same thing with Jon Jones. | ||
| Man, you can smoke a little weed and still be world champion, the best man on the planet. | ||
| We don't have to take all this weight and wear Dockers and act like God's child. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Well, I've seen people who have to be very, very specific and correct and intense in something. | ||
| A lot of times the way they manage that stress, the stress of competition, the stress of living up to expectations, is they have one vice. | ||
| They typically will give themselves a recess. | ||
| Whether that's smoking, girls, whatever it might be. | ||
| Human beings tend to do that more than they don't. | ||
| Most athletes don't. | ||
| And I would say that was my biggest problem was everything had to be mapped out, had to be written out, plan for plan, minute by minute. | ||
| And if anything went wrong, I freaked out. | ||
| And I always wish I was more of that maverick, Joe Schilling, maybe have a cigarette, maybe go crash a Bentley with hookers and go game. | ||
| But don't you think that that's maybe... | ||
| Like, the cigarettes aren't necessary. | ||
| It's the attitude behind the choice to make cigarettes part of your life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| That's what's necessary. | ||
| That was made, though, when he was much younger. | ||
| Yeah, but he doesn't have to continue that pattern. | ||
| No, he's a smart guy. | ||
| He doesn't smoke a lot. | ||
| Like, I noticed that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Yeah, we've talked about it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I know he's tried to stop. | ||
| I mean, he's tried to stop. | ||
| Here's my feeling. | ||
| If you try to stop something, it means you want to stop something. | ||
| So if you try to stop and then you don't stop, that means it beat your ass. | ||
| That is an important part of your life where you can win. | ||
| You're in a competition with yourself and you can win and you don't. | ||
| This is my feeling about this and I'm not trying to be hard on people, but I think this is an important distinction. | ||
| When you fail yourself, When you decide to yourself that you're gonna take care of something and you're gonna kick an addiction, you're gonna do something, and you don't do it, you don't like yourself as much. | ||
| It's one of the most important things about accomplishments and about overcoming bad things in your life. | ||
| If you have something you're doing, like smoking cigarettes, and you don't kick it, you won't respect yourself the same. | ||
| The only thing I would say, though, is that sometimes liking yourself isn't so important for accomplishing great things. | ||
| There are a lot of people that... | ||
| Well, it's for happiness. | ||
| Well, yes, yes. | ||
| But, you know, sometimes happiness can be the great stopper. | ||
| You know, it's like Harriet Doerr, when she won the Book Award, they said, were you happy being a housewife for 35 years? | ||
| And she said, why would anybody who's happy write a book? | ||
| I'm not saying that you have to be suffering, but a lot of times I don't know that being satisfied, having peace of mind, and even being happy, which of course we all are striving for, sometimes that can be a hindrance to what got you Where you are in the first place. | ||
| And I'm speaking primarily, a lot of great books, screenplays, films made by smokers. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| But when it comes to addiction, one of the things that they found that's way easier to deal with, so a lot of people say, well, stop smoking because it'll kill you, or stop smoking because it makes no sense, or stop smoking because you're not disciplined. | ||
| That tends to not, that might work for a short period of time, but people always go back to their set point. | ||
| And what does work better is Well, I don't think you should say always because a lot of people quit. | ||
| They do. | ||
| But what helps with quitting from what I have read and what I've talked to and even in my own experience is that you have to start associating The act of smoking or whatever your vice might be with something negative and associating and even feeling the difference. | ||
| I always say about people who want to get in shape. | ||
| If you could feel, if people are out of shape and eat a lot and eat shitty food, if they could feel how much better they feel, I'm just talking about the pleasure principle. | ||
| If they could feel what it's like to be in shape, I think they'd have an easier time going on. | ||
| The road to get there, though, be like, you won't realize how good you feel smoking until, I mean, the withdrawals and all. | ||
| It's going to take forever, man, to get through that point. | ||
| So that's a hard point to argue. | ||
| And I don't, you know, obviously, I never smoked. | ||
| But some people who have smoked, like Ari said, like to this day, he quit years ago. | ||
| But he said he still gets an itch. | ||
| Like, he'll see people smoking and he'll go, God, that looks good. | ||
| Like, it is a powerful, powerful drug. | ||
| If a guy like Schilling can't kick it, I agree. | ||
| I don't think he wants to bad enough. | ||
| But also, with this keto diet, I stopped all sugar. | ||
| I can't walk by Mrs. Fields. | ||
| Don't bring me by Mrs. Fields. | ||
| I will freak the fuck out, man. | ||
| So it's back now, because for a while you were saying you don't even crave it. | ||
| It's only if I go by Mrs. Fields. | ||
| I was at the mall with my brother, and I was literally like, Oh, dang, son. | ||
| Take my wallet. | ||
| Take my wallet. | ||
| Well, you know what causes more of it? | ||
| If you go into the mentality of scarcity. | ||
| So if you start thinking this is the last cookie on the planet, you're going to go for it. | ||
| It slows your metabolism down. | ||
| When you start going into scarcity mode, that's one of the things that they say about people that were incorrectly starving themselves. | ||
| They'll have little tiny portions of carbs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then your body's like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| And your body slows down because it's worried about losing resources because no food's coming in. | ||
| It can actually spark with you. | ||
| Yeah, your metabolism slows down. | ||
| It's like, we better hang on to this shit. | ||
| The only way fasting's good is when your body's in ketosis. | ||
| Because then your body just starts burning fat. | ||
| The fucked up thing about addictions is that this evolutionary biologist, his name escapes me, was talking about how the fact that, like an addictive mindset, people who are extreme, who need a lot of food, for example, or whatever, that kind of mindset actually served our ancestors. | ||
| Cavemen, the idea of finding, pinpointing what you want, which is that deer, and running after it for three days until it, you know, falls over, that need, that sort of reptilian Yes. | ||
| The problem is when you take away the fact that you have to chase a deer for three days, we still have a lot of that reptilian sort of caveman mentality. | ||
| And the most successful people in those societies now will tend to be the same people that have the same insane drive to do all the cocaine or eat all the food or drink all the alcohol. | ||
| Or they're addictive to working out or to their sport. | ||
| Most of the time, you know these people, Joe, and so do you. | ||
| Those world, those elite of the elite, the one percenters, they're not the funs to hang out with. | ||
| Some of them are not. | ||
| A guy like Michael Jordan, they used to say that Michael Jordan, if you beat him playing ping pong, he wouldn't talk to you for two weeks. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| He would fucking be angry at you and pissed at you. | ||
| People aren't fun to hang out with. | ||
| Yeah, and that's what produces that intense level of focus that creates a guy like a Michael Jordan. | ||
| They also don't like themselves, though. | ||
| There's a little bit of that in there. | ||
| But the question becomes, do you want to be happy? | ||
| Do you want to be healthy? | ||
| Or do you just want to be successful? | ||
| Do you want to be some miserable person that's laden with addictions that you may or may not be managing, but that is creating some success, like in the form of art, like maybe music or something like that? | ||
| I think a lot of musicians... | ||
| There's an argument for that, versus like... | ||
| I bet Nickelback eat a lot of vegan food. | ||
| Look, man, I told you. | ||
| I bet they drink fresh spring water. | ||
| I bet they get up early and do yoga. | ||
| Dude, they get so much shit. | ||
| They drop some hits, though, man. | ||
| They have some songs I enjoy hearing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too! | |
| There's that one song that everybody has sung. | ||
| Which was? | ||
| They have one jam. | ||
| But listen, no, no, no. | ||
| It's the theme, the rock star song. | ||
| Like, I'm a rock star. | ||
| My favorite version is the Cypress Hill version. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you wanna be a rockstar? | ||
| Like to be real version? | ||
| That's the shit, right? | ||
| That's the best version of it. | ||
| Nickelback Superstar is the bomb. | ||
| But Nickelback's got, they got their own version of it. | ||
| It's one of those. | ||
| Never heard it. | ||
| And it's a good song, unfortunately. | ||
| I'd love a sample of that song. | ||
| I've never heard it. | ||
| Let's sample up. | ||
| It's not bad! | ||
| I'm with Roken on this. | ||
| Fuck anyone who doesn't like that Nickelback song. | ||
| Look, I thought, here's, there is, but there's something that I think we all recognize about what they did. | ||
| Is that there's something sort of disingenuous or something, contrived or something, but it's still good. | ||
| But why does everybody get too mad at them? | ||
| I think because they're almost fake, you know? | ||
| Yeah, and I can't be friends with any of those guys at a glance. | ||
| I don't think they're fake at all. | ||
| You know what I think, man? | ||
| They're just too old. | ||
| They're successful, and I think a lot of dumb people like them. | ||
| It's not that they're not good. | ||
| I think they are good. | ||
| I think that you get associated with some of your fans. | ||
| There's that. | ||
| And someone started picking on them and using them as a punchline. | ||
| And then it became that punchline. | ||
| They are not as bad. | ||
| Look at all the bad musical artists. | ||
| And I say bad. | ||
| Obviously, taste is subjective. | ||
| And I'm just talking about my opinion. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Which is my taste, for me. | ||
| There's so much shit out there. | ||
| But people love it. | ||
| And it doesn't become a punchline like Nickelback became a punchline. | ||
| Just four white dudes. | ||
| Look a little too good. | ||
| Look a little too healthy. | ||
| Had some highlights. | ||
| Michael Bolton was talking about that. | ||
| Michael Bolton was saying, I became a punchline. | ||
| Michael Bolton was saying, I was just doing music and all of a sudden the right people started making fun of me. | ||
| Wait, did you see the guy with the hair? | ||
| Yes, and he said, people started making fun of me, and I just caught fire. | ||
| No shit. | ||
| Literally became, I was just writing my music. | ||
| Well, he had long hair, and he had like a turtleneck on him. | ||
| Of course, and he made fun of. | ||
| His voice isn't bad, but his voice is good. | ||
| There's some hair here. | ||
| Look at the hair. | ||
| Oh my goodness. | ||
| No shit, my man. | ||
| Look, Michael, you need a fucking mirror. | ||
| Ask yourself, what have you given these people? | ||
| He's on the come-up, though. | ||
| He's on the come-up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sure he is. | |
| He's in those new commercials. | ||
| He's talented. | ||
| And he was on the Lonely Island video. | ||
| He's back. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| He's very talented, man. | ||
| See, but he's rocking normal hair now. | ||
| Upper left. | ||
| Upper left. | ||
| Yeah, he's back. | ||
| Handsome guy. | ||
| Yeah, that's someone's dad. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| That's Caitlyn Jenner. | ||
| A little too much makeup, but looks like Caitlyn Jenner's short hair. | ||
| He's got teenage daughters. | ||
| You gotta go to his house and meet him. | ||
| You take his daughter to the prom. | ||
| I'd grab a beer with that guy. | ||
| Seems like a nice fella. | ||
| Yeah, he does. | ||
| He fixed the whole thing. | ||
| The hair thing was out of control. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| It's almost like the back and the bottom was to distract you from the top. | ||
| It's like you had some weirdness going on. | ||
| The top was just like weirdly cropped. | ||
| Just a hot mess. | ||
| Trust me, there's a guy who's tried to disguise baldness before. | ||
| That's exactly what he's doing. | ||
| That's what happens with guys. | ||
| With guys, if a dude is decorating himself a little too much, he becomes subversive. | ||
| We all go, hey man, the guy's got bracelets. | ||
| Why is he wearing bangles? | ||
| And what's with the tiara? | ||
| I don't know what the fuck is going on in there. | ||
| Why is that? | ||
| Is he competing for too many girls? | ||
| Native American deer skin outfits with the tassels, and he's got a bear claw necklace. | ||
| Yeah, get the fuck out of my face. | ||
| And a medicine bag. | ||
| Yeah, get the fuck out of my face. | ||
| He better be a shaman. | ||
| A dude who carries around potpourri. | ||
| He better be a masseuse and a good one. | ||
| How many bracelets can you have before you're an asshole? | ||
| God, that's a good question. | ||
| Do you have a gang of those bracelets? | ||
| Unless you're fucking Criss Angel. | ||
| Unless you're Randy Couture. | ||
| Criss Angel's the... | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Hey, Randy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Randy. | |
| I love you, brother. | ||
| No. | ||
| Why are you wearing a scarf and a tank top? | ||
| You gotta make up your mind to see what the fuck's going on. | ||
| It's fucking confusing, bro! | ||
| What kind of weather are you expecting, sir? | ||
| I don't know, but I'm ready, bitches! | ||
| Hey, you know what? | ||
| He gets away with it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does! | |
| He gets a fucking free pass for everything. | ||
| He can wear the bracelets. | ||
| He can wear a scarf. | ||
| He can do no wrong. | ||
| Great beard. | ||
| What happened that made him say, I need this scarf? | ||
| Back that up. | ||
| A stylist, stylist, stylist. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Look, he's got another scarf. | ||
| Stop for a second. | ||
| This is Randy fucking Couture. | ||
| Captain America, son. | ||
| Captain America. | ||
| With a scarf. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Multiple time world champion. | ||
| One of the toughest guys that's ever walked the face of the planet Earth. | ||
| You don't need a stylist! | ||
| Hollywood got to him and went, you know what would make you look better? | ||
| Scarf. | ||
| He needs us. | ||
| Can I be honest with you? | ||
| He bought 50 of them. | ||
| He needs us. | ||
| I'm wearing a fucking scarf. | ||
| He doesn't need a scarf. | ||
| I'm going to get that scarf. | ||
| I know you would wear a scarf. | ||
| You son of a bitch. | ||
| Randy wears one, so why can't I? Holy shit, why is he in so many scarves? | ||
| He likes scarves. | ||
| The guy likes scarves. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| Maybe it's so if someone fucks with him, he takes it off and kills him with it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe just ready for a sandstorm. | ||
| Maybe he's not really into geech hoax. | ||
| He's really into geech hoax, but he thinks he'd be douchey to wear a black belt around his neck everywhere he goes. | ||
| Legit point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank you. | |
| I'm a legit point. | ||
| He came to 10th Planet in between career. | ||
| Before he came back and fought Tim Sylvia, he came to 10th Planet and he did a grappling match with Jacare. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| He had a grappling match with Jacare. | ||
| Rico Ciapparelli, who was probably one of the most important guys in the early days of MMA as far as incorporating wrestling and submissions. | ||
| Rico was a huge asset to a lot of guys that were just starting out. | ||
| And to this day has helped a lot of fighters. | ||
| Mac Danzig was working with Rico before he retired, and it was his last few fights, and he was like, Rico is a fucking genius, man. | ||
| He knows so much. | ||
| And he was one of the early guys that was a wrestler that was tapping out black belts. | ||
| He was a really, really high-level wrestler. | ||
| In fact, he's in the Mark Schultz documentary, Foxcatcher. | ||
| Mark Schultz wrestled him. | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| Yeah, he won. | ||
| Well, Rico was NCAA champion. | ||
| I believe he was an Olympic alternate. | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| Super high-level wrestler, and then on top of that, super knowledgeable about submissions. | ||
| And he created a professional submission thing. | ||
| Yeah, he's a monster. | ||
| And so Randy fought Jacare in this professional submission thing. | ||
| He's so strong. | ||
| Jacare tried to leg lock him. | ||
| He had his leg. | ||
| He couldn't fucking straighten it out. | ||
| Randy's just doing leg curls. | ||
| He could not straighten it. | ||
| Captain America, son. | ||
| He's got these grappler strength from Mark Kerr. | ||
| Hundreds of years of squeezing things. | ||
| Before he fought Lyoto Machida in Toronto, it's the week of the fight. | ||
| I'm there doing an appearance for UFC, and I see Randy in the hotel. | ||
| I've maybe met him once before. | ||
| He goes, hey man, you're a good striker. | ||
| I need you to help me tonight. | ||
| This is the night before the fight. | ||
| I'm like, huh? | ||
| He goes, I need you to help me. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| He had some Jim Extreme Coutures in Toronto. | ||
| We jump in. | ||
| Two Hummers. | ||
| Where do they got him? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Drive to this location. | ||
| Far as hell. | ||
| I'm like, what the hell am I going to do? | ||
| And so the night before the fight, he's doing rounds, son. | ||
| You know how most guys just do like, you know, he's already made weight. | ||
| You know how most guys just kind of break their wind and loosen up? | ||
| Oh, not Captain America. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| He had all his coaches there, and his striking coach couldn't get into the country for whatever reason. | ||
| So they had old big brown hair hold mitts for him. | ||
| I don't hold mitts. | ||
| I hit mitts. | ||
| I don't know if they know that. | ||
| I don't fucking hold mitts. | ||
| But they're like, we need to stand southpaw. | ||
| And every minute, a new guy's gonna rotate in on Randy for five rounds. | ||
| I was like, the night before the fight? | ||
| But Randy Couture, I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna do whatever this guy says. | ||
| So his coach would go and different guys would go and be different in situations. | ||
| And I'm trying to hold mitts. | ||
| Mind you, I've never, I don't hold mitts. | ||
| I have to stand southpaw like a little machida. | ||
| Oh, and Randy isn't hitting him like just feeling out. | ||
| This dude fucked me up. | ||
| I mean, boom! | ||
| Hit me in the chin, the nose, bloody nose, pick me up, slam me, and I'm supposed to just let him do whatever he wants. | ||
| This dude fucked me up. | ||
| Every round, I'm like, God. | ||
| So he wants you to hit paths and then shoot doubles, and he's going to shoot doubles on you and take you down and hit you as well? | ||
| Yeah, he was doing this setup where he would, it was like a straight right, left hook, and then he'd get in on a single leg. | ||
| And I was like, God, man, when you're coming and striking, I feel like you're open for it. | ||
| Because his setup, again, I don't know Raina, I didn't train with him before that, so I I didn't feel like I was in a position to say anything, but I was like, God, I feel like you're opening yourself up with Leota, man. | ||
| He's not going to be there. | ||
| Like, you're coming straight at him. | ||
| He's not going to be there. | ||
| I told his coach that, and they're like, no, he got this. | ||
| You know, he's been there before. | ||
| I was like, yeah, for sure. | ||
| It's Randy Couture. | ||
| Pan watching the fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Couture! | |
| Tooth! | ||
|
unidentified
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See ya! | |
| Yeah, he got knocked out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought he was going to get on the mic and be like, way to go, Shob, you son of a bitch. | |
| Jumping front kick is what I think it was. | ||
| Yeah, that's exactly what it was. | ||
| That was in Toronto. | ||
| That was the biggest event ever. | ||
| How about what Jacare did to Vitor this weekend? | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Yeah, he's a monster. | ||
| I don't think that was very surprising, though. | ||
| Well, this is the Vitor you're looking at. | ||
| This Vitor that you're looking at right now is a Vitor with diminished hormone levels. | ||
| He's 39 off TRT. What do you think was going to happen? | ||
| His legs look so skinny and his ass wasn't there anymore. | ||
| You can't... | ||
| There's only so much your body can do if you're not supplementing your hormones after a certain age. | ||
| And when you see guys that fucked with steroids most of their life and then tried to operate off of them, you have real problems just kick-starting your endocrine system. | ||
| Except for our boy Overeem. | ||
| Well, no, no, no, no. | ||
| Testing? | ||
| What's up? | ||
| Well, he's figured out a way to get down to 240 pounds. | ||
| He's younger a little bit than Vitor, first of all, but he's figured out a way to get down to 240, and maybe he doesn't have as much power. | ||
| Well, I think what he's realizing now is technically, like as a striker, he is at a fucking very high level. | ||
| I think he's made mistakes. | ||
| He's made mistakes in some of his fights, mistakes in his approaches, mistakes in how big he tried to be, or running out of gas, like in the Travis Brown fight when Travis caught him with that front kick to the face. | ||
| He would try to finish guys off, and if he didn't finish guys off, he'd kind of be fucked. | ||
| And now, you know, he's relying on skills. | ||
| It's also with Winklejohn. | ||
| That fucking Jackson team, man, there's a lot of great people for him to train with. | ||
| He's relying on skills. | ||
| I'm just saying, now that he's one of the guys where you see drug testing kick in, and obviously he looks completely different, but now he has to adapt the way he fights. | ||
| He has more skills in the heavyweight division than anyone else when he comes striking. | ||
| A K-1 champion? | ||
| It's not even close. | ||
| He won the Grand Prix. | ||
| Not even fucking close. | ||
| He's beating the best in the world. | ||
| His technique is so fun to watch and Donald will spar with him and says he just learns watching the guy. | ||
| But this is what I'm saying is he's a guy where this strict drug testing kicks in. | ||
| You can see a physical change and he's still doing well. | ||
| Well, he's better. | ||
| He's better. | ||
| He fights more caution. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He's fighting really smart. | ||
| I'd say smarter, not cautiously. | ||
| Way smarter. | ||
| Because he used to come in like a meathead because he had so much power. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And that allowed him to get clipped. | ||
| And I think that when you're seeing him fight now, like especially, perfect example is Junior Dos Santos. | ||
| Like he knocked Junior Dos Santos out and a lot of people are like, God, maybe Junior's Maybe he's done. | ||
| Maybe he's just not the same anymore. | ||
| Then Junior comes back and fights Ben Rothwell and looks better than he's ever looked. | ||
| So Junior looks fantastic and then you realize, oh, Overeem's fucking good. | ||
| He's good. | ||
| So explain to me why Grand Prix K1 champion is just so much better. | ||
| It's the biggest of the big of all, especially at the time when he did it. | ||
| It doesn't exist anymore. | ||
| But at the time when he won it, it was Badur Hari, Gokhan Saki, the fucking best of the best. | ||
| Peter Ertz, these guys that won it. | ||
| The guys that were there. | ||
| And he won it. | ||
| Jerome LeBan or Ernesto, when you go back to like the history of K1, goddamn Andy Hoog, some of the greatest strikers of all time, the most entertaining, exciting, wild, crazy fights between heavyweights, and they would knock each other out all the time! | ||
| Yeah, Peter Archer, Sam Schilt, I mean, you got some monsters. | ||
| Oh my god, Sammy Schilt, good luck trying to get in on that guy. | ||
| Seven feet tall, he would front kick the shit out of you. | ||
| How the fuck did he not play professional basketball? | ||
| Well, dude, he was such a good kickboxer. | ||
| I just wish there was more money in kickboxing. | ||
| Especially back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Seven feet tall. | ||
| Do you remember when Karatanov took him down and mounted him and just punched him in his same eye over and over again? | ||
| He was screaming. | ||
| You bet your sweet ass that I do. | ||
| Dude, that was one of the most disturbing... | ||
| Like, finishes of a fight. | ||
| Karatanov took Semishilt down, got on top of him. | ||
| Karatanov was a monster. | ||
| Scared the shit out of him. | ||
| He was very scary. | ||
| Because some Russian military dude. | ||
| And he was beating Semishilt like he was torturing a prisoner. | ||
| Like, I'm not even kidding, man. | ||
| He, like, found, like, he isolated him, got on top of him, pinned him down, and then kept hitting him in his cut eye. | ||
| He had the same eye, though. | ||
| Yeah, the same eye. | ||
| Just hitting the same eye. | ||
| And Sammy Schilt was just screaming at one point. | ||
| Prisoner of War style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, he had some info that fucking our boy needed. | ||
| It wasn't good, man. | ||
| It wasn't good. | ||
| There was something crazy about it. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, no. | |
| It was like, whoa. | ||
| Then he came into Strikeforce and did work, too. | ||
| None of that. | ||
| Well, we thought Orlovsky was done after he smooshed Orlovsky. | ||
|
unidentified
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Phew. | |
| Remember? | ||
|
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He straight-merked Olofsky. | |
| I mean, he's a K-1 striker. | ||
| Karitanov's a beast. | ||
| It's a whole different thing. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, he's not the best of K-1. | ||
| You know, he gets beat by the best guys in K-1, but he's at a super high level. | ||
| His striking is no fucking joke. | ||
| For MMA, it was really good, too, because he did a lot of box and had good defense. | ||
| Beat the fuck out of Overeem. | ||
| Beat the fuck out of Overeem. | ||
| Knocked him outstanding. | ||
| Cracked him, had him running away from him. | ||
| Running away from him, and then he folds against... | ||
| And then when they bought Strikeforce, they just never moved him over. | ||
| Yeah, I guess not. | ||
| I wonder what happened. | ||
| I think he had some injuries for a while, too, I believe. | ||
| I believe he had some issues, and he gained a lot of weight because of it. | ||
| Remember he got real heavy? | ||
| Yeah, because he lost in the heavyweight Grand Prix that DC won. | ||
| He was in that, and he lost. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen? | ||
| I want to say Barnett. | ||
| And Barnett beat him. | ||
| Am I right on that, Jimmy? | ||
| Or am I going crazy? | ||
| I don't remember that fight. | ||
| What do you think is going to happen when Stipe fights over him? | ||
| That's next, I think, 100%. | ||
| Because if you look at their scheduling too, they both fought around the same time. | ||
| Overeem's next. | ||
| He's won four in a row. | ||
| He's the guy for the job. | ||
| They're both there. | ||
| I think you have to wait until Travis Brown fights Cain Velasquez. | ||
| But this is my thought. | ||
| Cain Velasquez, if he beats Travis Brown in some spectacular way, they're going to be calling for him to fight for the title. | ||
| That's the toughest fight, I think, for Miosic, only because Travis will be in his grill. | ||
| Travis or Cain? | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Cain. | ||
| If Cain is in shape in that cardio thing and just in his grill, boxing, getting close, and wrestling, he's probably at least as good a wrestler or a better wrestler than Stipe. | ||
| Cain is overwhelming. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As a person who's watched fighters. | ||
| Not close? | ||
| As a person who's watched fighters my whole life, like watching the UFC, all the thousands of fights, I've never seen a heavyweight that can put the kind of pressure on somebody that Cain can. | ||
| He's just different. | ||
| His cardio is just different. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's like he's got double lungs. | ||
| I'm not even joking, man. | ||
| I've been overwhelmed watching his fights before. | ||
| It could be an argument he's number one, best heavyweight of all time. | ||
|
unidentified
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You could argue that. | |
| I do argue that. | ||
| Oh, do you? | ||
| People get mad at me. | ||
| They say, Fedor's number one. | ||
| Nah. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| No, I don't think so. | ||
| Look, I really think that you have to be open-minded about this number one debate. | ||
| And I think until Verdum just got knocked out, Verdum is in the running for the debate. | ||
|
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100%. | |
| I mean, he submits Fedor. | ||
| In his prime, really. | ||
| Submits Minotauro. | ||
| And I don't think Fedor was in his prime, though. | ||
| That's why I disagree. | ||
| He was the first guy to do it when it was Fedor. | ||
| And then after that, I was like, alright, big bro. | ||
| He did get caught by Fedor. | ||
| But I think he was already on the slide. | ||
| He was, but there was still that kind of prestige of Fedor. | ||
| Like, after he lost that, and then it's like, oh, fuck it. | ||
| Yeah, we can beat this guy. | ||
| But the reason I'm saying this is coaches were saying that. | ||
| His own MMA coach, after he knocked out Brett Rogers, said that Fedor won with his old tricks, but he would have liked to have him for more time training. | ||
|
unidentified
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Sure. | |
| And he thinks he's not approaching it correctly, and he just won by being Fedor. | ||
| But he also caught Verdum with that old trick. | ||
| He caught him, knocked him down, and then the mistake Fedor made was he jumped into his guard. | ||
| But remember, he jumped in to pound him, but he caught him really, really well, knocked him down with the exact same timing that he did to everybody before that. | ||
| Okay, maybe. | ||
| Or maybe Verdum goes down on purpose the moment a punch hits him so he could drag you into his guard. | ||
| Which he does. | ||
| He's a smart guy. | ||
| Verdum is a very smart guy. | ||
| He didn't fight smart on Saturday. | ||
| He definitely did not. | ||
| Why the fuck would you run the face first? | ||
| Because he got tagged. | ||
| If you watch the stoppage, see if you can find the highlight. | ||
| I'll show it to you. | ||
| Because this is something that I wish somebody brought up during the actual commentary. | ||
| He got tagged right before he got knocked out. | ||
| He got tagged doing the same thing with the right hand. | ||
| He moved forward. | ||
| He was making these advances. | ||
| He moved forward. | ||
| He got tagged with that right hand. | ||
| And I think he was on Queer Street. | ||
| And I think he went running at Stipe on Queer Street and got knocked the fuck out. | ||
| And the way Stipe did it was... | ||
| A fucking work of art. | ||
| The angle? | ||
| It was like Anderson Silva and Forrest Griffin. | ||
| Baby step to the right and boom, right? | ||
| It was better. | ||
| It was even better. | ||
| It was better. | ||
| His angle was sick. | ||
| Obviously, his right hand was nasty. | ||
| It's also... | ||
| Verdum did get hit early. | ||
| And in Verdum's training, if you've seen him train, there's this competition within that gym. | ||
| When you get hit, it's like, whoa, gotta get him back. | ||
| I think it was more... | ||
| He gets hit and he's like a charging bull. | ||
| It was like, fuck this, man. | ||
| I think it's probably a little of both. | ||
| A little of both. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Because I definitely think he got cracked. | ||
|
unidentified
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Cracked. | |
| And I'm like, whoa, that is a big right hand that he got hit with. | ||
| And it's in the same manner. | ||
| The same manner. | ||
| He's charging forward, he got hit. | ||
| That's how Aldo got knocked out against McGregor. | ||
| You've got to be fucking real careful charging forward. | ||
| It makes the punch harder. | ||
| Way harder. | ||
| You know, Stipe's knocked out some great guys, but he's not a knockout artist per se. | ||
| If you compare him to Mark Hunt or Roy Nelson, he's not a knockout artist. | ||
| When a guy's charging in like that, and then you're countering with right hand, it makes it seem way worse. | ||
| Well, here's my take on Stipe's power. | ||
| I think Stipe has big power, but I think he fights economically and intelligently. | ||
| He's a smooth fighter. | ||
| Like a good boxer. | ||
| He's a very good boxer, golden gloves boxer, but he's smooth and relaxed in the way he spars. | ||
| It's one of the things that makes him so dangerous. | ||
| He does things very correctly. | ||
| DC was on the commentary for the UFC recently and was talking about getting the rub. | ||
| You know, he was talking about that experience. | ||
| When you have a tough fight with someone, you get the rub. | ||
| And he fought Junior Dos Santos and they went to war. | ||
| What do you mean rub? | ||
| This is what I mean. | ||
| He was saying, like Daniel says, when you fight someone that's really good and they're better than you, even if you lose, it elevates you. | ||
| You get the rub. | ||
| Just by sharing the ring with them, just by competing with them, you realize how good you are, you actually get better. | ||
| And you realize how good that person is. | ||
| I think he got the rub when he fought Junior Dos Santos in a way. | ||
| Because he went five rounds with a guy who was one of the toughest of the tough. | ||
| A guy who was a champion who knocked out Cain Velasquez with one punch. | ||
| And he went five hard rounds with him. | ||
| And the decision could have went either way. | ||
| And took his best shots. | ||
| And I also think, to go back to DC's point and your point, with the rub... | ||
| I think at the UFC level, especially when you get in that top echelon, you know you're good and people are telling you you're good. | ||
| But when he beat Orlovsky, he starched him. | ||
| You don't learn much from that man. | ||
| When you go to a decision with a world-class guy, then you know. | ||
| You're doing something right. | ||
| You're camp. | ||
| You're doing it right. | ||
| You had good gas. | ||
| You realize what works, what doesn't. | ||
| So you learn so much more. | ||
| And he's going to, like you said, war with JDS. And we see him getting better and better. | ||
| Well, what's really interesting now... | ||
| Is, here's the dark horse that nobody talks about. | ||
| Stefan Struve is only 28 years old. | ||
| That fucking dude is gigantic. | ||
| He's seven feet tall. | ||
| And if he could put it together, and he put it together on Bigfoot Silva the other night and knocked him out. | ||
| I know the guy has a bunch of knockout losses. | ||
| I know he does. | ||
| But he knocked out Stipe. | ||
| Struve knocked out Stipe. | ||
| That was his only loss in the UFC. Dude, Struve, do not count that guy out yet. | ||
| Struve did an inside leg kick and then knocked him out. | ||
| He's got that heart issue and stuff. | ||
| Well, I don't know what he's got going on physically, but I'm saying that kid, if he puts it all together, when you're seven feet tall... | ||
| How long does it take before you even get coordinated right? | ||
| I mean, it's like you're sending a message, and it's got to go so far before it gets to your fucking hand. | ||
| Have you fought guys that are super tall, like Jack May and those guys? | ||
| Yeah, but the thing is... | ||
| Struve would be such a freaking handful if he could learn to use his reach. | ||
| But guys like Roy Nelson, when you get these upper echelon guys, nothing against Bigfoot, but off TRT or whatever, because he actually needs it, off it, I think anyone in the top 20 kind of fucks him up. | ||
| But with Struve, the real test would be who they'd give him next. | ||
| Well, Struve got fucked up by Overeem. | ||
| And Overeem, that was a super intelligent fight the way he fought it. | ||
| Took him down. | ||
| Beautiful takedown. | ||
| Gone on top of him. | ||
| Just ground and pounded the shit out of him. | ||
| The other thing about Struve is you gotta realize that kid has, I think, 40 fights? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He has a shitload of miles out. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Well, that's... | ||
| He has half a heart. | ||
| And the mark... | ||
| Well, it's not that bad. | ||
| No, I'm just kidding. | ||
| No, but it's... | ||
| I don't know what he's got. | ||
| What is the medical condition? | ||
| I forget. | ||
| We have the same manager, so he deals with it all the time. | ||
| That Mark Hunt knockout, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Mark Hunt with that leaping left hook. | ||
| Shattered his face. | ||
| Oh, dude, Mark Hunt hit so fucking hard. | ||
| You've been caged, so I'd seen that, right? | ||
| It's fast, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so fast! | |
| He's a beast. | ||
| I think if Stipe can get... | ||
| I'm curious to see if Stipe can get within boxing distance of Alistair and take away any of those kicks and how he sets it up. | ||
| That's going to be interesting. | ||
| Alistair can box, man. | ||
| He can, huh? | ||
| Oh yeah, for sure. | ||
| Better than Steve B. I'm not going to tell you. | ||
| Knocked out Junior with one punch. | ||
| He's the best striker in the UFC heavyweight division, maybe of all time. | ||
| So Stipe then is going to have to close that distance and box him, right? | ||
| Not necessarily, no. | ||
| Stipe could crack him. | ||
| Look, Ben Rothwell knocked him out in the first round standing. | ||
| Stipe has better footwork. | ||
| Anything can happen. | ||
| He has better footwork. | ||
| Alistair's been stopped a lot of times. | ||
| His chin's the question. | ||
| This is the other thing people forget with Alistair. | ||
| That motherfucker can grapple. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He can wrestle and grapple his ass off. | ||
| So you want to go to the ground with him, you're going to be in a world of trouble. | ||
| Well, he won the Abu Dhabi European Trials. | ||
| And in Pride, he submitted Vitor. | ||
| He also submitted Mark Hunt. | ||
| He has a nasty guillotine, dude. | ||
| He's super nasty. | ||
| People always forget about that. | ||
| They think of him just as a striker. | ||
| But you want to go to the ground with that dude. | ||
| I don't think Stipe has a lot of submission work under his belt. | ||
| So Stipe and I trained for two years together. | ||
| That kid has submission defense. | ||
| So you know how Rashad has his black belt? | ||
| If you ask Rashad to show you a real specific offensive move, I don't think it's at black belt level, but his defense. | ||
| And Stipe's defense is nasty. | ||
| Super nasty. | ||
| He's really good at defense. | ||
| He's a very smart athlete. | ||
| Very good athlete. | ||
| When you have a guy who could probably be a professional ball player. | ||
| With Stipe? | ||
| He could probably be a professional ball player. | ||
| He didn't make it. | ||
| Yeah, he didn't make it. | ||
| But he's at this level of an athlete. | ||
| Now, what I'm saying is it's rare that you see a guy like that who comes over to MMA and fights super technical, super smart, who's also really, really tough. | ||
| He's also a firefighter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Professional. | ||
| Full-time. | ||
| His head is the biggest head I've ever seen. | ||
| It's a large head. | ||
| Nicest guy of all time. | ||
| He's a great guy, but he's got a rare set of attributes, meaning that he's at pro, sports, athlete level, as far as his ability, his movement, and his intelligence, and his approach, and his training. | ||
| And then on top of that, he's tough as fuck. | ||
| Tough as they come. | ||
| Tough as fuck. | ||
| Like in this fight, let me tell you something, dude. | ||
| I watched this fight very carefully. | ||
| And one of the things that I was noticing was like how calm he was through everything. | ||
| Watch when they're staring each other down. | ||
| One of the things you really pay attention to is the shortness of the breathing. | ||
| If you watch people breathing during nervous situations, a lot of times, even if they look calm, you can sort of see this uneasiness in the way they're taking in oxygen. | ||
| You're sensing tension. | ||
| You don't sense any of that shit looking at him. | ||
| You know what's impressive, too, is he doesn't come from a mastermind camp. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's just his boys in Cleveland. | ||
| Well, he just might have a mastermind camp. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of masterminds out there that don't have the right pupils. | ||
| I'm saying he's not from like a Jackson's, AK, ATT. He keeps his shit within Cleveland and does work and then goes and does a firefight. | ||
| And then saves people from burning buildings. | ||
| Who else is in that camp? | ||
| The girl. | ||
| Hardstyle MMA. There's also, isn't there, is Leslie Smith from there? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's not Raquel Pennington, right? | ||
| Isn't it Jessica Ai? | ||
| No, it's Jessica Ai. | ||
| Jessica Ai. | ||
| Jessica Ai. | ||
| So, they have tough fighters. | ||
| It's just like, if a guy's like a really skillful trainer, and you know, you've only been doing it for a few years, you have to wait for the right guy to sort of walk through your door. | ||
| Oh, yeah, it's all about them walking through the door. | ||
| I remember that was a big thing with Eddie Bravo. | ||
| With Eddie Bravo, it took forever for him to find someone who could do his style And prove in competition that it's very effective, not just with him. | ||
| He had a unique style. | ||
| Is that Stipe's brother or dad, the guy with the mustache? | ||
| Yeah, look at that guy with the mustache. | ||
| I don't know, that guy's awesome, though. | ||
| But you talk about Stipe being calm. | ||
| Remember, he's fighting right now. | ||
| That guy's not that old, Brian. | ||
| Why are you calling that guy his dad? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He looks like his older brother. | ||
| 35. His older brother. | ||
|
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|
No. | |
| I guarantee it's his older brother. | ||
| Just some fucking thick dude. | ||
| You know, Eddie Bravo had a real good point about this. | ||
| We were talking about it on the phone. | ||
| He was like, Fabricio looked too relaxed. | ||
| He was coming up to the ring. | ||
| He was making that face that he makes. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| I'm so sick of that face. | ||
| Well, he's being funny. | ||
| He's being silly. | ||
| I don't think there's anything wrong with a fighter trying to stay loose. | ||
| I don't at all. | ||
| You know, I think that's one of the things that Fabricio does to have a good time. | ||
| He likes to make that silly face. | ||
| He's also been doing it forever, man. | ||
| He likes it. | ||
| He's the man. | ||
| Well, he's Fabricio Verdum. | ||
| If he won the fight and made that face, no one would say a fucking word. | ||
| If he went out there and head kicked Stipe Miocic, you know, no one would say a word. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it didn't work out. | ||
| So when it doesn't work out, that's when everybody comes shitting on you. | ||
| Well, it's the same with Conor. | ||
| With Conor Nate. | ||
| Conor's walking out like, hey! | ||
| How about Ronda Rousey? | ||
| Same with Ronda. | ||
| When Ronda lost, everybody's mad at all the shit that they loved her for. | ||
| They loved her for don't be a do-nothing bitch and fuck you, I'll make it to the top, kiss my ass. | ||
| Yeah, now they hate her. | ||
| And now they think she's arrogant for that. | ||
| Same with Connor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| Oh, you with your rich shit. | ||
| He's in Venice right now, driving around in a Royals Royce. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Wiling out. | ||
| Look, I just, you know, it's just what comes, it's part of what people love about people bragging. | ||
| They want to bring you down, though, man, no matter what. | ||
| Look how loose Stipe looks. | ||
| Look how loose. | ||
| I mean, he's fighting for the title. | ||
| Nice and loose. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Moves away. | ||
| He could have been argued he should have got a title earlier, too, but he's just such a nice guy. | ||
| A lot of checking, too. | ||
| A lot of good checking of kicks. | ||
| His Muay Thai is very good. | ||
| Very educated with his movements. | ||
| Look, Fabricio's got some fucking nasty kicks, man. | ||
| Right there, his striking is much improved. | ||
| We saw it in the Travis Brown fight, man. | ||
| Fabricio's dangerous on the feet, man. | ||
| Yeah, the King Velasquez fight? | ||
| Dude, his striking is fucking legit. | ||
| He's long as shit. | ||
| And he's got confidence in it. | ||
| That nice switch kick there. | ||
| He's a beast, dude. | ||
| I think in order to be that dangerous of a fighter, you're going to have to open yourself up a little bit. | ||
| And then when you fight a real strategic guy like Stipe, you're going to get in a little bit of trouble. | ||
| Well, I think what happened in this fight in particular is that he forced it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I think he was in this gigantic soccer arena. | ||
| It's the biggest crowd in history in MMA in Brazil. | ||
| Look at that beautiful leg kick, though. | ||
| Both of them, though. | ||
| Yeah, the inside and the outside. | ||
| Nice jab. | ||
| Stepping it out to the... | ||
| Yeah, it's all nice. | ||
| Like, the technique is real nice. | ||
| But I think Fabricio was just so ramped up because there's all these people in Brazil, and I think he's a confident man. | ||
| I think he thinks he's the fucking best in the world. | ||
| He just has to get a hold of this dude. | ||
| There's a right hand he nailed with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a great right hand. | |
| See, so now he's... | ||
| Stipe can take a shot at him. | ||
| He can, but now, look, he's forcing it. | ||
| He's forcing it. | ||
| Because he landed it. | ||
| Yeah, so watch when he starts to force it. | ||
| He gets hit real hard, and then he gets hit hard and knocked out. | ||
| He tried that knee... | ||
| He tries forward, and he got a terrible single attempt there. | ||
| You're not getting Stipe on that. | ||
| He's a phenomenal wrestler. | ||
| He might have been just trying to make them work, or maybe open up possibilities. | ||
| Sometimes you drop for a single, a shitty single. | ||
| I think he's going to just get his mind off. | ||
| Stipe's right in range, so he's not afraid to just be right in your grill here. | ||
| He's not, though, B. He's not right in range. | ||
| But he's real relaxed. | ||
| Even the way he's throwing that jab. | ||
| Top, top, top, top. | ||
| He's economical. | ||
| And when you're economical in a five-round fight, it's super effective. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Beautiful jab, man. | |
| That was a very nice leg kick by Fabricio. | ||
| But he's timing that jab. | ||
| Great inside leg kick. | ||
| And the jab also is super light. | ||
| He's just floating it out there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pop! | |
| There's nice speed. | ||
| Watch where he steps when he jabs. | ||
| He steps to the side there like that. | ||
| Like, look at that jab. | ||
| See how light that is? | ||
| You know, there's no tension there. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, it's like flowing. | ||
| Hey, check that leg kick again. | ||
| Nice leg kick by Stipe. | ||
| Nice switch. | ||
| So right now Fabricio's realizing, okay, this is not an easy fight. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| That's it! | ||
| That's the one! | ||
| That's the one! | ||
| And that right here. | ||
| Bang! | ||
| That's the KO shot. | ||
| Now back it up again. | ||
| Just back it up just a little bit to where he's chasing him. | ||
| So watch when he's chasing him. | ||
| This video player is really... | ||
| You're correct, though. | ||
| You're right, I saw that. | ||
| You're correct, though, Joe. | ||
| I didn't see that until he got mad and he came at us. | ||
| He was wobbling. | ||
| Yeah, he got tagged hard with that right hand. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| And then he kept charging, and then he got face-planted with the second one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That first right hand had him on Queer Street, I guarantee you. | ||
| Because he's moving forward, and Stipe drops it in on him, and it's the same punch he knocked him out with. | ||
| And when Stipe throws a punch, and this is how you know he's good. | ||
| I mean, obviously he was fucking good, but this is how you know his technique's at a real high level. | ||
| His arm is like loose, man. | ||
| And then he throws it, and then as it gets to his face, he tightens it down and does this. | ||
| Smack! | ||
| Like, as he's moving away, he... | ||
| Like, it's a super efficient, like, really technical punch to throw it that way, moving back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pow! | |
| In that sense, it's very much like what Anderson did to Forrest Griffin. | ||
| It's also calculated because he threw it twice. | ||
| And they both land in there. | ||
| You can tell they're working on that. | ||
| So he threw the left hook twice. | ||
| The right hand. | ||
| The right hand moving back. | ||
| Moving back. | ||
| Is he stepping to the side when he does that? | ||
| He had to. | ||
| Yes, but it doesn't even necessarily have to be that he planned it out and that was a part of the game plan. | ||
| I think Stipe does that. | ||
| I think he's a really good striker. | ||
| If you're looking at his movement, and I think you're looking at a guy who's super fucking determined, man. | ||
| Stipe is super determined. | ||
| And when you're a guy that's that focused, you're gonna get fucking really good at everything. | ||
| So after he gets that fight, look at that jab. | ||
| See that jab? | ||
| See how fluid it is, too. | ||
| It's so, like, everything he's doing is so relaxed and efficient. | ||
| You don't see a lot of jab. | ||
| You don't see a lot of jabs. | ||
| Like, my all-time favorite fighter, probably, if I had to tell you who I was most excited to see fight, is probably Vanderlei. | ||
| There's the right hand. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| See that right hand? | ||
| He's fucking hurt here. | ||
| Yeah, he got mad. | ||
| He didn't just get mad, his legs jolted. | ||
| Like, you could see his legs stiffen up when he got hit by that first right hand. | ||
| He got hurt. | ||
| And then the second one, faceplant some. | ||
| Stipe's a dangerous guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a world champ! | |
| He's not going to make mistakes. | ||
| Hey Cleveland, let's get our boy a goddamn parade. | ||
| No one wins shit in that town. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No shit. | |
| Hey LeBron, you want to jack every other UFC fighter? | ||
| How about you tweet out about Stipe? | ||
| Your boy's from your fucking hometown. | ||
| He jumped off the fence. | ||
| He goes, I'm the world champ! | ||
| I'm the new world champ! | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It was like coming into his mind. | ||
| Like, is this real information? | ||
| Hey, LeBron. | ||
| Did that just happen? | ||
| Did you step your fucking game up? | ||
| Fucking yeah. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| Me too, man. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| I love what he stands for. | ||
| I love watching him as a fighter. | ||
| I love that he could do that. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love that he did it in Brazil. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Watch how efficient. | ||
| Stooch! | ||
| See, it's like, tank! | ||
| Yeah, he just drops it in on him. | ||
| To be able to time it that good, too. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Watch the timing. | ||
| Look at that timing, dude. | ||
| He pushes his hand away. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| Pushes, and then with the same hand. | ||
| Did you see Overeem's tweet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crack! | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he wants to find him. | ||
| Yeah, he said, you're next, and he did that Bloodsport meme. | ||
| Love it. | ||
| See, that one showed both. | ||
| That highlight right there was the perfect highlight. | ||
| Step to the right. | ||
| Because it showed the first one, how much impact the first one had on him. | ||
| The first punch was a big factor there, man. | ||
| That first punch had him co-weird up. | ||
| Unbelievable, man. | ||
| So cool. | ||
| I like that you could still say Queer Street and you're not a homophobe. | ||
| No, Queer Street's fun. | ||
| You can't take that away from us. | ||
| It's just strange. | ||
| You're like, what? | ||
| Where am I? The heavyweight division's fun right now, man, because I don't think we're going to see a champ reign for a long time. | ||
| I want to make a shirt that says Fight for Queer Street. | ||
| Hey, how about Queer Street Fight Club? | ||
| I think that's sending out the wrong message. | ||
| Might be. | ||
| That's like a bat signal for dick. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about. | ||
| We'll teach you how to throw a right hand. | ||
| For anyone who likes dick, Queer Street Fight Club. | ||
| You'll learn how to throw a right hand and fuck guys. | ||
| Dicks are on us. | ||
| Time to come, guys. | ||
| Let's take a sex break. | ||
| I put up a picture the other day on Twitter of the Oak Ridge Boys. | ||
| Somebody sent me a picture of the Oak Ridge Boys because it looks like us. | ||
| One of them looks exactly like you. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| And one of them looks like you and me had a baby. | ||
| But one of the things that I was shocked was like, someone said, this looks like you and Callan. | ||
| But I go, oh my god, how gay were the Oak Ridge Boys? | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| When did you see this picture? | ||
| You're going to go, that's not real. | ||
| No, that's real. | ||
| This is the actual album cover. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They took a photo shoot for this show. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| You were allowed to feather your hair back then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I appreciate it. | ||
| Check this. | ||
| No, that's Orleans. | ||
| Okay, Orleans. | ||
| Lord have mercy. | ||
| Well, Orleans, this is important because someone said to me after I posted the picture of the Oak Ridge Boys, they said they didn't have nothing on Orleans. | ||
| And they put that up and I was like, whoa. | ||
| That's impressive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You ain't lying. | |
| How about homeboy on the right and the bear cub on the far left? | ||
| Just a bunch of hairy dudes. | ||
| Waking and dreaming. | ||
| And look at this guy looking down at the other guy's dick. | ||
| Literally. | ||
| Dude, you're actually looking down at this guy's dick. | ||
| He's closing his eyes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're crazy. | |
| If you don't think Orleans is doing a show, then fucking each other. | ||
| They just fuck each other during the show. | ||
| You just don't notice it. | ||
| You don't notice it because they're so gay you get blinded. | ||
| They wash each other's hair. | ||
| Dude, look at this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is us. | |
| Look at Kallen, the far left! | ||
| The far right is Kallen and me had a kid and the kid likes mustaches. | ||
| Look at the guy's fucking... | ||
| Why does he have pantyhose around his neck? | ||
| What kind of clothing is that around his neck? | ||
| No, that's a straight tie. | ||
| That's a straight tie, guys. | ||
| I don't think it's a tie. | ||
| Look, it's got a tassley thing at the bottom. | ||
| With a pink shirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're right, damn it. | |
| See how tassley it is at the bottom? | ||
| It's a Randy Couture style. | ||
| Same stylist as Randy Couture? | ||
| Same stylist as Couture? | ||
| No, it's the dad of Randy Couture stylists. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And you know why they have that little star on the right? | ||
| Because that dude had a boner that's poking out over the top of his jeans. | ||
| Those are some high jeans. | ||
| Those are high crotch jeans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was like a little broomstick poking out over the top of his jeans. | |
| Those guys are awesome, man. | ||
| The guy that looks like me on the end here is really arching his back, Danny. | ||
| He's really arched up. | ||
| He's having a good time is what he's having. | ||
| The two guys in the middle, one of them is a magician, the other one is a nature guy. | ||
| Damn right. | ||
| The other one looks like a blackjack dealer. | ||
| The second guy is. | ||
| The far left guy looks like a guy who dies in some sort of crazy orgy where everybody does too much molly. | ||
| They were just having fun back then, making music and sucking dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not mad at it. | |
| And wearing shrimp colored jackets. | ||
| Everyone's so tight these days. | ||
| I know, right? | ||
| You can't even have fun anymore. | ||
| You can't Orleans it anymore. | ||
| Could you imagine if today, in today's climate... | ||
| But I would have thought that that climate back then was less tolerant. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Today is super tolerant. | ||
| It was, it was, back then. | ||
| Look, there's a national debate going on on whether or not women should have to go into the same restroom as transgender people. | ||
| That's a national debate. | ||
| Who would have ever thought that this country would be so concerned with hurting people's feelings that that would be a big part of the national debate? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Big part. | |
| But if a band went out and did that... | ||
| We'd be like, get the fuck out of here with that gay shit. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| I would repost that shit. | ||
| You got the federal government now asking public schools that get public funds to create a separate bathroom for transgender people. | ||
| Okay, what's going on? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Is this just the internet? | ||
| Is it the pressure of groups on the internet? | ||
| Like, what is it about? | ||
| I think, like anything else, for the first time, the transgender community has a voice for the first time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And any time you have that... | ||
| You're going to have people that get very, very loud and this is their chance. | ||
| This is their moment to say, hey, we're here. | ||
| We've been in the closet forever and you're probably going to have the louder voices in that community and even the ones that are more extreme drive the debate. | ||
| The problem is that, you know, there are concerns for all of us. | ||
| For example, if you identify with a different sex, if it's really the Civil Rights Act was all about sex. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But now you're talking about now you're talking about discrimination based on how I perceive myself. | ||
| So I can be a man. | ||
| And if I put a wig on, but I say I'm a woman, I'm identifying with that gender by federal law. | ||
| Am I then allowed to go into a woman's bathroom? | ||
| Well, it becomes difficult, right? | ||
| The problem I have, B, is like, I have to be cool with everything. | ||
| It might be a little weird to me if, you know, there's a dude in a dress. | ||
| I'm not used to that. | ||
| I didn't grow up around. | ||
| And you're allowed to feel weird about it. | ||
| Or if Caitlyn Jenner's on the front of Vanity Fair. | ||
| Or how about Caitlyn Jenner now is saying, I might want to go back to Bruce. | ||
| Did you hear that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, I know you hate that shit, Joe, but I'm just saying, to me, it's a little weird that she's on the front cover of Sports Illustrated. | ||
| I'm like, dude, that used to be fucking Bruce. | ||
| And then I get called a homophobe or something like that, because to me, it's a little strange. | ||
| And I can't have questions about it. | ||
| You can't force me to accept it. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| This is the way to look at it, in my opinion. | ||
| You know, we have a lot of different minorities. | ||
| Let's just take transgender. | ||
| They're a sexual minority. | ||
| Forever they have been relegated to the, you know, the shadows. | ||
| You had to keep it a secret. | ||
| You felt different, etc., etc. | ||
| We know the stories. | ||
| What makes a country strong and great is the fact that this country is great. | ||
| And the difference between this country and, say, Russia is Russia has one idea of what strength is, and that is the biggest muscles and the biggest guns. | ||
| And the United States has that, too. | ||
| But remember, what makes this country strong and interesting as a culture is the fact that we create a safe haven for people who think and act differently. | ||
| That's where you get people like Marilyn Manson and Prince and great artists. | ||
| So the debate becomes, how do you make those people feel safe without creating major inconvenience for the vast majority of us who say, we may not have the funds for a third bathroom. | ||
| Now you're talking about an entire different infrastructure. | ||
| So how do we work around this? | ||
| But we have the funds to set up electric centers for Teslas. | ||
| Well, it's a good debate to have. | ||
| I don't know what the answer is. | ||
| Bro, I meant to talk to you guys off the show about this. | ||
| I found the Mr. Hands video. | ||
| Well, let's get back to this, because I don't think we're done with this. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Look, I definitely think that there is a spectrum of transgender people. | ||
| And I think there's people that you wouldn't even notice. | ||
| And then there's people that look a lot like men. | ||
| Want to identify with women and people are gonna be scared of them and there's gonna be weirdness involved with that because Not because the transgender people might be creepy But because we know that there are men that are predators that are not transgender men that are straight That's what I worry about and if you give them the opportunity to wear a dress and go into the women's room and just say they identify with being a woman What they wanted on North Carolina and this is where it gets interesting is It's not that you had to be a transgender | ||
| person. | ||
| Please, someone, correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't think I am. | ||
| It's not that you couldn't go in the bathroom if you're a transgender person. | ||
| It's you have to go into the bathroom that matches the gender on your birth certificate. | ||
| Now, if you're born a woman, but you want to be a man, you can get that changed on your birth certificate. | ||
| I didn't know that. | ||
| Yeah, you can. | ||
| Yeah, apparently you can. | ||
| Caitlyn Jenner did it. | ||
| So if they do that, if they get it changed, I don't know how they could change on your birth certificate 60 years later. | ||
| Yeah, they do it. | ||
| Here's the problem. | ||
| Now we're in this weird semantics thing. | ||
| We're not talking about technical. | ||
| How fluid is gender? | ||
| I mean, we need to really define this before you just allow someone to wear a dress and go in a woman's dress. | ||
| Now it's how someone self-identifies. | ||
| And it's a very different area than the legislation that exists. | ||
| It's cloudy because now you're not talking about male-female. | ||
| You're not saying, hey, if you are in the pension plan in this company, because women live, say, 15 years longer or whatever it might be, you have to pay more into that pension plan. | ||
| As an example, that was unconstitutional because it was sex discrimination. | ||
| Now, these laws are concerned with How someone identifies. | ||
| It's very murky. | ||
| So you may have a penis, but you identify as a woman and you're taking hormones. | ||
| Now we're in a very, very strange... | ||
| But here's the thing, you don't even have to be taking hormones. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| You can just identify with being a woman and not want to do anything different than what you are right now and then go into women's rooms. | ||
| Isn't that the exception though, Joe? | ||
| Yeah, there's plenty of exceptions. | ||
| Well, because if you can say, ah, well, guys are going to put on dress and just to go look at little girls, but wouldn't that be the exception overall? | ||
| Always. | ||
| Perhaps. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Well, how many transgender people are using bathrooms? | ||
| That's the exception. | ||
| That's a huge exception. | ||
| But the exception to that is that they're going to go in there just to look at little girls or molest little boys. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| But if it's one out of a hundred, it's something we should talk about. | ||
| If it's one out of a thousand... | ||
| You can talk about it, but you can't make a decision based off the exception. | ||
| But you have to figure out what it is. | ||
| And that's where it gets almost impossible. | ||
| It's really hard to protect... | ||
| Women and children from creepy dudes. | ||
| And this is not a slight on transgenders at all. | ||
| We're not talking about transgender, we're talking about men who take advantage of that. | ||
| We're talking about heterosexual men who take advantage of a law. | ||
| This has nothing to do with transgenders. | ||
| Giving any possible loophole where a piece of shit creepy male predator is allowed to use a bathroom with a ten-year-old girl in it. | ||
| Under the sanction of the law. | ||
| Yes, under the sanction of the law. | ||
| Oh, no, I get it. | ||
| Man, I don't know about all that. | ||
| No, I'm not cool with it either. | ||
| Because when I send my daughter, Stephen Crowder, you're making a law for the exception in the first place. | ||
| To make a law that says that transgender people can use a woman's room is an exception. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Because you are making a law about a very rare thing. | ||
| A rare thing that when you look at the entire internet and 7 billion people, you see millions of examples of it. | ||
| So you go, well, transgender community is strong. | ||
| We should recognize that they're being discriminated against. | ||
| And that's all good. | ||
| I think we all believe that, right? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| But that is a rare thing to make a law for when you're dealing with how many women have to use that restroom. | ||
| So do you do nothing? | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| How many women have to use that restroom? | ||
| How many? | ||
| How many transgenders want to use that restroom? | ||
| What is the actual numbers that we're looking at before we start talking about this and having this goddamn national debate on it? | ||
| And creating new bathrooms. | ||
| Well, that might be the only way, but what are the fucking numbers? | ||
| Can we just get some data on what the numbers are? | ||
| Is there any actual numbers? | ||
| Does anyone know? | ||
| There must be. | ||
| So, then, how many men are sexual predators? | ||
| Well, that's where it gets really fucking easy. | ||
| All you have to do is go to those sexual predator apps on your iPhone. | ||
| Everywhere you fucking look, there's sexual predators. | ||
| Now, it could be a lot of different things. | ||
| I know a dude... | ||
| Who got labeled a sexual predator because he got caught taking a piss outside. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He went outside, he exposed his dick, he stepped outside of a bar and pissed. | ||
| And because of that- It's ridiculous. | ||
| It is ridiculous, but it's one of those backwoods country fuck states. | ||
| And it was in like the 1980s or something like that. | ||
| And this guy got arrested- Took a piss off a bar. | ||
| Don't piss around a playground. | ||
| It's not just one guy that this happened to. | ||
| This happened to a bunch of guys. | ||
| Especially if you expose yourself anywhere near a school or something along those lines. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm saying. | |
| Don't piss around in elementary school. | ||
| Yeah, you're a sexual predator. | ||
| There's a lot of piece of shit men. | ||
| We all know what we mean by sexual predator. | ||
| The problem is, how do you define? | ||
| How do you define... | ||
| Look, there was an article that I read the other day about a guy with a beard. | ||
| He has a full beard, but he identifies as a woman. | ||
| He wants to be able to use women's rooms. | ||
| And he doesn't take hormones, but he is a woman. | ||
| He feels like he's a woman. | ||
| He doesn't want to have surgery, but he identifies as a woman. | ||
| Can't have that. | ||
| So here's how I feel. | ||
| My daughter's eight years old. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I'll tell you. | ||
| So my daughter's eight. | ||
| The other day I had to send her into a public bathroom at the movie theater. | ||
| I assume when I send my eight-year-old into a woman's bathroom that she's going to be safe because it's going to be little girls and women. | ||
| If there's a dude in there with a beard who says he identifies as a woman, I'm not letting my daughter go in that bathroom until that guy's out of there. | ||
| And you know why? | ||
| I don't know who that dude is. | ||
| And he might say he identifies as a woman. | ||
| He might be fucking crazy, too. | ||
| There's also that possibility. | ||
| But he's not getting near my daughter. | ||
| He also might whoop your ass if you go in there. | ||
| Yeah, I also don't trust him. | ||
| A big bearded dude. | ||
| And I'm allowed to say that. | ||
| You can't have that. | ||
| And you're allowed to say that. | ||
| And someone will say, that's a woman, and you should say she's a woman. | ||
| No, I would say that's a man. | ||
|
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Can't do that. | |
| Okay, so when do we draw the line, man? | ||
| When do we draw the line? | ||
|
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That's confusing. | |
| When do we draw the line? | ||
| It's tough, huh? | ||
| This was a big part of the Fallon Fox debate, about Fallon Fox becoming a transgender and then fighting women and saying she's a woman now, with a man's frame. | ||
| And then it becomes a sociological or a political issue more than a scientific and a fight analysis issue. | ||
|
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That's right. | |
| Which is stupid because physically she's built like a man fighting little girls. | ||
| There's a bunch of differences. | ||
| There's a shit difference. | ||
| Reaction time. | ||
| That one's easy to me. | ||
| Reaction time. | ||
| That one's easy to me. | ||
| And then there's also hips. | ||
| You know, the shape of the hips. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Power. | ||
| But then again, what the fuck do you do about someone like Gabby Garcia who's clearly taking male hormones? | ||
| Where does that fit in? | ||
| Look, if you're fighting against women, and if you're fighting against women who are just taking nothing, but you're taking male hormones, where's this line? | ||
| Is it penis, vagina? | ||
| Is that the only line? | ||
| Or is there a certain amount of hormones you take where you become a fucking dude? | ||
| And if you do it like Chasity Bono. | ||
| Chas Bono now. | ||
| So she takes the hormones. | ||
| She becomes he. | ||
| She becomes Chas. | ||
| That's male hormones turns her into a dude, right? | ||
| We all agree because she says it. | ||
| Well, it's Gabby Garcia on more or less than her. | ||
| I'd say different, but more. | ||
| But I would suggest that question becomes relevant only when it begins to... | ||
| Interfere with your everyday routine, rights, when it starts getting into situations where you're going to have to share, for example, public space, a bathroom, something intimate. | ||
| No, in sports, it's even more. | ||
|
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In sports, it's even more. | |
| In sports, it's way more important because if Gabby Garcia's on some shit, she's fighting some poor girl who's just on the regular protein. | ||
| But that's why it's illegal. | ||
| It's not illegal. | ||
| It's not illegal in Japan. | ||
| That's why... | ||
| And we're just assuming... | ||
| Fallon Fox fought in America. | ||
| Yeah, that's a whole different situation. | ||
| Toss them all to Cyborg. | ||
| How are we defining gender? | ||
| Are we defining it by your own personal choices? | ||
| Do you just decide, I'm this, I'm that? | ||
| I feel like a girl. | ||
| I want to be Joanna, man. | ||
| I'm going WNBA. Let's talk about this. | ||
| If you looked at Cyborg this weekend, and she was fighting Leslie Smith. | ||
| Bless her heart. | ||
| You look at Cyborg and she's a woman, of course, but there is something about her physicality that clearly she just looks like she was built to fucking bang on people like a drum. | ||
| Have you ever seen her first fight? | ||
| No. | ||
| She didn't look like that. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| A lot of it is... | ||
| Genetically modified? | ||
| There's a lot of speculation as to what she did in order to look like that. | ||
| Here's one thing undeniable. | ||
| That woman works hard. | ||
| She runs six miles every day. | ||
| She trains like a fucking beast. | ||
| Apparently, according to her trainers, she has an insane work rate, right? | ||
| But... | ||
| She definitely has tested positive for something. | ||
| She's tested positive, and also now she is in the UFC, and I'm not saying she's taking shit. | ||
| We've got to wait until the drug results come back in Brazil this past fight. | ||
| But at 140, at 135, she's by far the best female fighter in the UFC. Until you beat her, you ain't shit. | ||
| Dude, the way she ran through Leslie Smith, her technique is flawless. | ||
|
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Flawless. | |
| The credit has to go to Jason Perillo, who's our boxing coach, because at her level, she's been doing it forever, right? | ||
| To take a fighter that has that many fights and to give them this set of skills now, because notice, this is what was most impressive to me in that fight. | ||
| She didn't get hit. | ||
| She had head movement, footwork, angles. | ||
| She didn't get hit. | ||
| Cyborg gets hit when she fights. | ||
| She'll trade, sit, bang Mike Tyson style. | ||
| She had footwork. | ||
| Leslie Smith didn't land a single punch. | ||
| I see that one. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Perillo should be getting all the credit. | ||
| And also, I've never worked with Perillo, nothing. | ||
| I'm just analyzing his fighters. | ||
| With Bisping, too. | ||
| Bisping boxed Anderson Silva's face-off. | ||
| A boxing clinic. | ||
| I don't know if you could shake like that and say face-off. | ||
|
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Face-off. | |
| I really don't. | ||
| I mean, he did drop him. | ||
| Exaggerate the point to you? | ||
| Yeah, he did drop him. | ||
| He dropped him, but he also landed the most shots ever on Anderson Silva. | ||
| Again, a veteran fighter in Bisbing who's been fighting forever. | ||
| What's the one common denominator? | ||
| Before I forget, the coach. | ||
| Do you think it was dirty when Anderson, jumping, kneed him in the face? | ||
| Or do you think that Michael Bisbing's not supposed to call him for a reset to pick up his mouthpiece? | ||
| That's on Bisbing. | ||
| That's on Bisbing. | ||
| Because before every fight, Herb Dean or Big John Colton go, listen man, protect yourself at all times. | ||
| Don't stop unless I come in there and stop. | ||
| We all know that. | ||
| But he's trying to say my mouthpiece, he's talking to the ref, and wouldn't you think, would you agree, like when is there a break in the action, technically? | ||
| If a guy is talking to the referee, and he's moving away, and he's not in exchange, he's like, hey, I'll drop my mouthpiece, drop my mouthpiece, is that a break in the action? | ||
| Or is he calling for a break in the action, and it could be perceived that he's calling for a break in the action because the momentum is not shifting his way? | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Look at Paul Hart. | ||
| You can't stop until... | ||
| Dude, I'm fighting to the death. | ||
| That's a bad term there. | ||
| But until a ref tells me not, it's on, man. | ||
| So when I hit Crocob, that's on Herb Dean. | ||
| Step your 40 time up, son. | ||
| Okay, but should he be allowed to stop? | ||
| See, the break in the action thing is ambiguous. | ||
| Here's my thought. | ||
| If you move back, you move back, and you put your hands up, and you go, my mouthpiece, and you put your hands up. | ||
| You're calling for a break in the action, and the referee says, that's not your place. | ||
| Your place is to compete. | ||
| Which is correct. | ||
| Or do they have to wait till an actual break in the action? | ||
| I think they have to wait till an actual break. | ||
| But why is that? | ||
| Because you should not be able to fight. | ||
| Look, you should definitely be penalized. | ||
| Like, did you see when Simon Marcus fought, Joe Schilling kept spitting out his mouthpiece? | ||
| So they took a point away from him because they thought... | ||
| Because he kept spitting it out, that he was tired and he was trying to take a break. | ||
| Which is what he was doing. | ||
| Some guys do do that. | ||
| So in order to stop that from happening, they penalize you. | ||
| Veterans do it. | ||
| But a referee, if he knows that your mouthpiece is out, he should stop the fight. | ||
| So it's real tricky. | ||
| He might be looking at something else though, right? | ||
| You really shouldn't be able to... | ||
| See, the problem is like lips and gums with teeth, with raw teeth, your face getting fucked up, man. | ||
| But Biz being in Anderson, we're kind of in it. | ||
| It was like, it was kind of in it and it came out and he's like, no, no, no, stop, stop. | ||
| He also was like, what? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He turned and pointed at his mouthpiece. | ||
| Remember when Paul Harris with Nate Markor turned the ref and said, hey, he's got slippery stuff on his ankle and Nate just dove in and went, That's got to be on the fighter who voluntarily, unilaterally takes a minute to... | ||
| It's also not dirty. | ||
| It's not dirty because as a fighter, dude, it's a very dangerous sport. | ||
| I see any glimpse where I can get an advantage, I'm fucking going. | ||
| Like Floyd Mayweather and Victor Ortiz. | ||
| I have no problem with that. | ||
| That, to me, was fucked up. | ||
| It's not, though. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| It's a fight. | ||
| He came up and said, hey, man, sorry. | ||
| No, they already said sorry twice. | ||
| And he goes, come on, man. | ||
| Nah, it's bullshit. | ||
| It's not bullshit. | ||
|
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It's a fight. | |
| You know what that was? | ||
| I'll tell you what it was. | ||
| Victor, he's at a mental breakdown. | ||
| He was succumbing to the pressure. | ||
| He was fouling Floyd. | ||
| He was head-butting him. | ||
| And he got penalized for it. | ||
| When he got penalized for it, he wanted to make friends with Floyd. | ||
| And in the making friends part, like, I'm sorry, bro. | ||
| Look, a lot of times you can't have that in a fight. | ||
| You can't have that in a fight because the disruption of your focus, it's adding in this emotional connection with this person. | ||
| Now this person's your buddy. | ||
| Like, hey, we're bros. | ||
| We're bros, right? | ||
| Let's go back to fighting. | ||
| And Floyd's like, fuck you. | ||
| Left hook, right hand. | ||
| Go to sleep, bitch. | ||
| And Ortiz is known for that. | ||
| Breaking. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He just got knocked out by Berto. | ||
| Cold-blooded. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I think he's done, right? | ||
| Probably should be. | ||
| It seems like when he got really famous and things started taking off, like... | ||
| He didn't really have the same... | ||
| Yeah, the Expendables. | ||
| He was doing well against Berto. | ||
| The first five rounds, I'm like, shit, here he is. | ||
| Because you remember, they built him up as the next Oscar De La Hoya. | ||
| He was like the golden boy. | ||
| And then it just never worked out for him. | ||
| The two fights I want to see is Golovkin, Canelo, and I want to see Kovalev, Andre Ward. | ||
| Kovalev and Andre Ward's gonna be crazy. | ||
| That's happening for sure. | ||
| Yeah, that's happening. | ||
| God, I can't wait for that. | ||
| Andre Ward is so smart. | ||
| He just has to fight more. | ||
| He's so smart, but there might not be enough. | ||
| Might not be enough against Kovalev, man. | ||
| It's so hard. | ||
| Well, he's not just so hard. | ||
| He's skillful as fuck. | ||
| He killed a guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Killed a guy in the ring. | ||
| And he doesn't seem to bother at all. | ||
| No, he doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| How about, and it's kind of stupid to talk about, but it has legs. | ||
| Floyd Mayweather, Conor McGregor. | ||
| It doesn't have any legs. | ||
| It kind of does. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It kind of does. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because Floyd wants it. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| UFC's not going to let it happen. | ||
| Well, but see, the only reason why I disagree with you there is because Dana goes, if Floyd wants to make that fight happen, call me. | ||
| Dana's a businessman. | ||
| They care about money. | ||
| You know how big that fight would be? | ||
| How much money do you think they could make if Floyd Mayweather fights Conor McGregor? | ||
| Biggest pay-per-view of all time? | ||
|
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No. | |
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| No. | ||
|
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Easily! | |
| It might be. | ||
| It might be. | ||
| What are you knowing? | ||
| Boxing, boxing, boxing. | ||
| What are you knowing? | ||
| Conor McGregor's the biggest draw already in UFC. Mayweather's the biggest pay-per-view draw in boxing of all time. | ||
| You mixed the world. | ||
| Everyone would tune in, including your dad. | ||
| I would tune in. | ||
| You tell me you wouldn't tune in? | ||
| No, because I would... | ||
| You're full of shit! | ||
| You're so full of shit. | ||
| It's not an interesting fight. | ||
| It's a very uninteresting fight. | ||
| You should have taken two hits instead of a little baby fake hit. | ||
| Very uninteresting fight. | ||
| No, it's fascinating. | ||
| I'm going to spark up his joint. | ||
| So what would happen is Floyd Mayweather would box with Conor McGregor and basically move around and be like, all right, here goes, and it'd be a spectacle. | ||
| It's just not a fight. | ||
| It wouldn't be a fight. | ||
| What are you, a fucking... | ||
| Party Pooper? | ||
| Pissing in our Cheerios. | ||
| This is the thing. | ||
| You've got to remember, the one thing that Dana and Floyd Mayweather, who would be responsible for putting this fight together, and Conor for that matter, all they care about is money and numbers. | ||
| That fight would be money and fucking numbers. | ||
| It would break Pacquiao Mayweather, can't it? | ||
| Okay, I know, but what I'm saying is that how would they do in that fight? | ||
| So Floyd probably could knock him out anytime he wanted, right? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Conor has a very good chin. | ||
| I mean, Conor got knocked out by Nate Diaz, or he got knocked down and hurt, stunned, wobbled by Nate Diaz. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Little gloves, first of all. | ||
| Nate's a really good puncher. | ||
| Nate's a big guy. | ||
| Nate's fought at 170. He's a lot bigger than Floyd, like physically a lot bigger. | ||
| Way bigger. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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But... | |
| Floyd is a guy who's broken his hands many many times, and he's not known for like really uncorking all of his might and trying to knock guys out. | ||
| Not a knockout artist in the least bit. | ||
| But he could. | ||
| He certainly could. | ||
| You know, it's not that Floyd doesn't hit real hard, but when you box real smart, knockouts come. | ||
| The opportunity comes, like the Ricky Hatton fight. | ||
| That's a perfect example. | ||
| That knockout came. | ||
| It's not like he went looking for it. | ||
| The Victor Ortiz fight, Victor just fucked up. | ||
| And he just left-hooked right-handed. | ||
| And it was a total sucker punch. | ||
| He had no idea what was going on. | ||
| But look when Mayweather has issues. | ||
| Against a guy like Maydana. | ||
| Are you suggesting... | ||
| First fight. | ||
| Second fight, he boxed the shit out of him. | ||
| He did, but if Maydana... | ||
| If I was Conor's coach and that fight were to happen, I'm like, hey man, don't be pretty and sit on the outside and try and hit this guy. | ||
| We make this a dogfight. | ||
| You're the bigger guy. | ||
| You think Conor would actually give... | ||
| Floyd Mayweather, a boxing match? | ||
| Is that what I'm hearing? | ||
| No, that's not what anybody's saying. | ||
| No. | ||
| I'm saying he'd be the biggest draw and be interesting. | ||
| I'm saying that I don't think Floyd would just go out and try to knock him out in the first round. | ||
| Oh, you mean he'd just, yeah, he'd box him. | ||
| I think he would Canelo Alvarez him, but, you know, obviously Canelo's way more skillful in boxing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, Canelo is a world champion, one-punch knockout artist boxer. | ||
| I mean, that fucking Amir Khan knockout. | ||
| Jesus, Louisa. | ||
| You know what Floyd said? | ||
| That was a super fucking home run on the button. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Floyd got hit, he said, when he fought Canelo, he got punched in the thigh by Canelo. | ||
| Had trouble walking for two days. | ||
| He didn't show it. | ||
| After the fight, he was like, dude, my thigh. | ||
| He punched me in the thigh so hard, I am having trouble walking. | ||
| That's why Floyd is never going to fight MMA. Because Conor would fucking break his legs. | ||
| Like, literally. | ||
| MMA would be more embarrassing than Conor doing just boxing. | ||
| Way more embarrassing. | ||
| He would get... | ||
| Way more embarrassing. | ||
| Because Conor's a big guy, Floyd would have to box smart. | ||
| I don't think Conor... | ||
| I think Conor would have... | ||
| It's just an unbelievably difficult time even coming close to hitting him. | ||
| If he was straight boxing, he's probably going to get embarrassed. | ||
| You're talking about, if not the greatest boxer of all time, and his defense is good. | ||
| It would be a great show. | ||
| You can't say good. | ||
| It's the best defense ever. | ||
| For sure. | ||
|
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Best defense ever. | |
| Who's got better defense than Floyd? | ||
| And now you're taking a guy who, he's an elite striker in the UFC, but boxing's a different game, man. | ||
| You know, I would have loved to seen Canelo fight Floyd, like, in a couple of years, when Canelo's, like, 27, 28. You know, when he has the experience. | ||
| Because I think, like, if you look at, like, Sugary Leonard versus Roberto Duran, like, both guys were, like, really in their prime. | ||
| Experience in their prime. | ||
| World champions. | ||
| The moment wasn't too big. | ||
| Great style. | ||
| And sometimes, you know, I mean, sometimes... | ||
| Like your prime comes early, like Tyson. | ||
| And sometimes your prime comes later, like Bernard Hopkins. | ||
| But when a guy's in his prime, you know he's in his prime. | ||
| I think Canelo wasn't in his prime when he fought Floyd. | ||
| I think he's getting there. | ||
| If I'm Canelo's management, and as a fan, I won't see Canelo Triple G. And granted, they say Canelo's probably going to have to vacate in his belt if he doesn't fight Triple G. That's what they're saying. | ||
| At that weight. | ||
| Why does he want 155? | ||
| That's not middleweight. | ||
| Why are they saying he's making all these fights at 155 and they're calling him middleweight because it's over 154? | ||
| Yeah, they have a weird thing going on. | ||
| That's what's wrong with boxing. | ||
| But if I'm Canelo's camp, I'm not setting that fight up yet, man. | ||
| As a fan, I'm like, dear God, make that fight happen. | ||
| As a businessman, a manager, I'm like, Canelo, you ain't fighting Triple G right now. | ||
| We're going to do a couple more big paydays. | ||
| Also, you've got to remember, Triple G's not a draw. | ||
| We know him wearing the fight game. | ||
| He's not a draw at all. | ||
| His pay-per-view did, I think, $125,000, $125,000. | ||
|
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|
Wow. | |
| Brandon, listen. | ||
| Big drama show. | ||
| Big drama show. | ||
| I give you drama show. | ||
|
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|
Serious business. | |
| I've won the belt. | ||
| Serious business. | ||
| I love that guy. | ||
| He's awesome, man. | ||
| He's the best, but he's just not as far as being a pay-per-view drawing power. | ||
| He's not there yet. | ||
| So give Canelo 70-30 and knock him the fuck out. | ||
| He won't do it. | ||
| He won't do it. | ||
| You toss Canelo like Lemieux or someone else so he can just merc and keep building his name. | ||
| Well, he wants it to be 160 and Canelo wants it to be 155. Apparently that's a hold-up. | ||
| Triple G's a bigger guy. | ||
| If Triple G has to drop down five pounds, they think it'll be enough to weaken him and maybe Canelo can have a chance and they can slug it out in the trenches. | ||
| Why does he hit so hard? | ||
| If you look at the fight, the actual fight itself, when Amir Khan just fought Canelo, he did expose that speed and movement are still a problem. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| He doesn't have the same speed or the same movement as Floyd, but his speed and movement were a bit of a problem. | ||
| Gave him some real issues. | ||
| Gave him some real issues. | ||
| That 1-2 was landing all night. | ||
| Yes, especially in the first round. | ||
| The first round he lit him up with some straight right hands. | ||
| I was like, ooh, okay. | ||
| How's this going to play out? | ||
| But I think that there's no one else in that division that can do that. | ||
| Cotto couldn't do it to him. | ||
| Canelo outboxed Cotto. | ||
| I mean, and then Floyd was really the only guy to expose it, but Floyd's Floyd. | ||
| There's no other Floyds. | ||
| So who the fuck else is in the division? | ||
| I think Triple G, Canelo right now, it'd be a bad decision for Canelo. | ||
| Well, Terrence Crawford's 147. So talented. | ||
| 147 and 154 are next door neighbors. | ||
| How weird is it? | ||
| They fight over like two and three pounds. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Fucking make the weight. | ||
| Shut your mouth. | ||
| It's so different than MMA in that regard. | ||
| It's so weird. | ||
| MMA, you're dealing with, you know, from middleweight to light heavyweight, which guys jump back and forth, you're dealing with 20 fucking pounds. | ||
| I mean, that's madness. | ||
| You think there should be more weight classes? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| I've been saying this from the jump. | ||
| There should be a weight class every 10 pounds. | ||
| And they're like, well, if there's too many champions, it waters it down. | ||
| I completely disagree. | ||
| You're telling me some of these amazing fighters that you have that are superstars, like a Donald Cerrone, like a Diego Sanchez, like all these different guys that are just amazing guys that never won a title, that are huge fan favorites, right? | ||
| If you look at all these different guys, Uriah Faber is another one. | ||
| You're telling me those guys couldn't have been champions and you wouldn't have had even more champions and an even crazier thing if there was a weight class every 10 pounds? | ||
| And a better product. | ||
| Because you're getting better performances. | ||
| Because Donald's not destroying his body to make 55. You're not having these monsters make these weight classes. | ||
| And they're actual world champions. | ||
| Think about the sponsorships, celebrities. | ||
| There's not enough weight classes. | ||
| There's not enough weight classes. | ||
| 206 or 265, how dare you? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| But what's interesting is the best guys seem to flatten out around 240. So my thought is... | ||
| Let's make a 240. Let's make that heavyweight and then 240 to 265. The world champions, the better. | ||
| Or all the way up. | ||
| The only time you can't is like... | ||
| A little bit of a problem is with Cyborg, right? | ||
| Because she goes, I'll fight anyone at 140, but at 140, I heard from my stories, it was a beast for her to get to. | ||
| I think she's the 145-pound Invicta champion. | ||
| They have a 135 in the UFC. Make a 145! | ||
| I think you can do 140! | ||
| Why 40? | ||
| Why 5 pounds? | ||
|
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|
She can make 40! | |
| But why do it? | ||
| Why make her make it? | ||
| She's a 145-pound champ. | ||
| I know, but there's not a lot of... | ||
| All the superstars at 135 can make 140. To make them put on 10 pounds, build it, they will come. | ||
| That's how it always is. | ||
| I'm saying right now, Mr. Rogan. | ||
| We're trying right now. | ||
| We can understand. | ||
| She's the Invicta champion, so she's fighting people in Invicta. | ||
|
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|
Hey, hey, hey. | |
| Yeah, look, she's better than all of them anyway. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| But you shouldn't be forcing her to kill herself when 145 is already an established weight class. | ||
| Misha Tate was the 145 pound champion in Strikeforce. | ||
| It's an established weight class. | ||
| Misha said she would fight her, too. | ||
| It's an established weight class. | ||
| I think at 140, though. | ||
| Well, listen, Holly Holm's fought people in boxing as high as 152. But 145 is an established weight class. | ||
| Who the fuck could sign up to fight Cyborg? | ||
| How does Holly Holm do against Cyborg? | ||
| Holly Holm has the best chance because Cyborg is a ruthless marauder. | ||
| She's like a berserker, attacker, shoot-the-box style. | ||
| Not this last fight. | ||
| No, she wasn't. | ||
| This last fight. | ||
| More tactical. | ||
| And those hits, I was like, oh shit! | ||
|
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Leslie, run! | |
| Yeah, that counter right hand's nasty. | ||
| And she kicks. | ||
| She kicks hard. | ||
| Knees hard. | ||
| Of course she's mad at the stoppage. | ||
| She's a beast. | ||
| She should be celebrating that stuff. | ||
| She should definitely thank the referee. | ||
| The referee saved her from herself. | ||
| But she's just so tough. | ||
| She's a fighter. | ||
| She's so tough. | ||
| That's what you want. | ||
| She wanted to go out on our shield. | ||
| But she was already gone. | ||
| She doesn't understand. | ||
| That ground and pound? | ||
| That shit is... | ||
| El Fedor days. | ||
| Nasty. | ||
| She was punching a bitch in the face. | ||
| She's so much more advanced than anybody else. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| So much more advanced. | ||
| I think we've got to chalk it up to Perillo. | ||
| Well, she's different than Holly. | ||
| See, Holly is a counter-striker, and Holly also had a really brutal knockout in boxing against a larger woman. | ||
| It's nasty. | ||
| I've watched it, and I was like, whoa. | ||
| It's the kind of knockout that you never really fight That way again, because you realize the consequences now. | ||
| Someone gets brutally, brutally knocked out. | ||
| They're aware of that as a consequence, and I think she's become much more of a defensive-minded counter-striker, which was super effective against Ronda, obviously. | ||
| It's better, I think, for her. | ||
| Right, but it didn't look so good against Misha, because Misha was fighting super smart, and when Misha took her down... | ||
| Well, it's also because Misha doesn't rush after. | ||
| Misha's varying her rhythm, she's standing outside. | ||
| Misha fought amazing, but I also thought, for whatever reason, Holly didn't fight like herself. | ||
| She wasn't pulling the trigger. | ||
| She doesn't like the lead. | ||
| She doesn't like the lead, and she's worried about being taken down. | ||
| When she got taken down by Misha, we realized why she doesn't like the lead. | ||
|
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Correct. | |
| Misha took her down, beat the shit out of her on the ground, destroyed her in that second round. | ||
| Was on top of her most of the round, just beating her ass. | ||
| And so we knew, look, if Misha gets her down, she's fucked. | ||
| So then she fights like a craftsman for the third and fourth round. | ||
| She just fights real smart, stays on the outside, edges those rounds, and then Misha's forced to go for broke in the fifth. | ||
| And Misha wound up taking her out and choking her out. | ||
| Great story, man. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Cyborgs... | ||
| Way better on the ground. | ||
| I mean, way better on the ground. | ||
| And stronger. | ||
| Way, way better on the ground than Holly. | ||
| Way, way better. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| Cyborg wins straight jiu-jitsu competitions. | ||
| She is fucking strong. | ||
| Twist your fucking face, though. | ||
| She suplexes bitches. | ||
| She's just made to fight rag-dolling bitches. | ||
| And if she gets on top of you, oh my god. | ||
| Her grounded pound? | ||
|
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I was like, what the fuck are we doing? | |
| She looks like a panther. | ||
| Like, she looks like... | ||
| It's almost like she was put on the earth for one thing. | ||
| When she's in that cage, you're just like... | ||
| To me, no one's doing shit until you beat her. | ||
| Yeah, she's built herself into that. | ||
| It's taken so long for her to finally get her. | ||
| Now she's here, and everyone's like, God. | ||
| And even when she's here, man, they did it in Brazil, and they did it at 140. They made her suffer. | ||
| In my personal choice, I would have had the first ever 145-pound fight in the UFC, let a bunch of people sign up to be who wants to get in there and duke it out with Cyborg. | ||
| Ain't no one signing up for that, my man. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| But I think you've got Invicta girls that are agreeing to fight her. | ||
| So if you've got Invicta girls that are agreeing to fight her, you're telling me those girls wouldn't take a fight in the UFC? Of course they would. | ||
| I'm telling you no one would care. | ||
| Frank Edgar. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| It's the cyborg show. | ||
| Dude, it's the cyborg show. | ||
| Right now, dude. | ||
| This is Mike Tyson versus people that you don't know. | ||
| It's Tony Tubbs. | ||
| Mike Tyson versus Tony Tubbs. | ||
| Easy. | ||
| She has a ways to go before she's Mike Tyson. | ||
| She just got introduced to regular fans. | ||
| But I'm saying, when you went to see Mike Tyson versus Tony Tubbs, you didn't think Tony Tubbs was going to win. | ||
| I'm a Tony Tubbs fan. | ||
| You went to see the Mike Tyson show. | ||
| No, I was there to see Tony Tubbs' footwork. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| I'm just saying, if you're Misha's manager and they're like, hey, we need you to fight at 145 Cyborg. | ||
| I think Misha would take that fight in a heartbeat. | ||
| Misha would take it. | ||
| Everyone else is like, nope. | ||
| That ain't a good move. | ||
| Everyone else is like, nope. | ||
| And listen, you know, Cyborg, like, go back to the Gina Carano fight. | ||
| Cyborg had problems in that fight. | ||
| So people don't understand, Gina Carano had her mounted. | ||
| Gina Carano was a tough fucking girl. | ||
| They duked it out. | ||
| Gina literally was on top of her, had her mounted. | ||
| Cyborg wasn't the same Cyborg back then, but Cyborg was way more shredded back then. | ||
| She was like a bodybuilder, man. | ||
| She was terrifying. | ||
| Just the physical muscular, the muscularity and the power that she had. | ||
| There's a picture that I'll never forget, man. | ||
| If I have a list of all my iconic memories of photographs in MMA, there's one where Cyborg is grabbing... | ||
| The head of Gina Carano. | ||
| She's got her fingers out. | ||
| She's got an MMA glove on with nail polish on. | ||
| And she's about to punch her in the face. | ||
| And Gina's face is already fucked up. | ||
| And Cyborg's holding her head. | ||
| I'm not trying to see that picture. | ||
| There it is, right there. | ||
|
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Look at that. | |
| God dog! | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Come on, son. | ||
|
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|
Damn! | |
| That is an iconic photo. | ||
| Look at the eyes. | ||
| The cold-blooded killer. | ||
| It looks like Cyborg's in the back going, shh! | ||
| Shut the fuck up! | ||
| Boom! | ||
| She's dropping a right hand on her fucking jaw right there, crushing her. | ||
| You feel that, bitch? | ||
| And this is, by the way, the cyborg that you're watching... | ||
| But look at the muscles on her fucking shoulder and her arm. | ||
| And the cyborg you're looking at today... | ||
| The cyborg you look at today would fuck this cyborg up. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| She's better now. | ||
| She's super fucking dedicated, man. | ||
| She's just doing the damn thing. | ||
| Ever seen some of the videos of her training at Phuket top team? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Kicking bitches faces up. | ||
|
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|
Good lord. | |
| She spends a lot of time in Thailand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Running hills and training with men. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| I saw her man, the old man, with this cyborg, Santos, fighting Bellator. | ||
| This past weekend. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| He fought. | ||
| Well, he lost. | ||
| He committed to a knee bar. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| A guy of his stature. | ||
| Because he won in the first fight with a knee bar. | ||
| Yeah, so this time he committed to it. | ||
| And he's getting hit. | ||
| I'm like, for sure let go of that knee bar. | ||
| For sure let go of that knee bar. | ||
| And it's too late. | ||
| There's a picture of her and him. | ||
| Her husband and her. | ||
| Oh, they have some photoshoots. | ||
| And just their backs. | ||
| Their backs. | ||
| And her back is every bit as wide. | ||
| No, they have one where I think it's just asses, and it's both of them just like... | ||
| That's unfortunate. | ||
| There's that picture where you see them... | ||
| Oh, no, it's awesome. | ||
| They should have some friends talk them out of those kind of photos. | ||
| Oh, I disagree. | ||
| It's like a Brazilian cologne out of some shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Açaí cologne. | ||
|
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|
Açaí. | |
| Bumbaya. | ||
| Like the beach. | ||
| Bumbaya. | ||
| I don't think it's Bumbaya. | ||
| What do they say? | ||
| Bom dia? | ||
| No. | ||
| How about Matt Brown? | ||
| Could it have gone any worse? | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| My goddamn DVR fucked up somehow. | ||
| My kids put like Max and Ruby on or some shit. | ||
| They cancels. | ||
| You know how sometimes people try to have two things? | ||
| My wife will move up the kids' shows to the top of the order. | ||
| So I didn't even watch the fight. | ||
| So he gets fucked up by the fans. | ||
| And they kicked this fan out, by the way. | ||
| The fan punched him in the face because he was flipping everyone off at Wayne's. | ||
| And then his old coach, after the fight, he's in the hotel. | ||
| And they're smacking him in the head, man. | ||
| A couple guys smacked him in the head. | ||
| They took that dude out of the arena, though. | ||
| Yeah, but a couple guys smacked him in the head as he's running in before the guy punched him. | ||
|
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|
I know. | |
| I'm saying they took one of the guys out and smacked him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Oh, did they? | ||
| Well, they should have taken all of them. | ||
| I agree, stupid host. | ||
| Hey, security, step your fucking game up. | ||
| But it's just embarrassing. | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| He rocked someone, though. | ||
| Oh, yeah, dude. | ||
| He uncorked a bomb on someone's face. | ||
| That guy got Matt Browned in the face. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| But then Damien Maia said, welcome to my country. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| About to choke your ass out. | ||
| I love Matt Brown, too. | ||
| I didn't see the fight, man. | ||
| Can we find the fight, Jamie? | ||
| See if we can find the fight. | ||
| So we'll do commentary. | ||
| But how about afterwards he's in the hotel and his old coach sucker punched him in the back of the head. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| And then got his old coach? | ||
| Matt Brown's coach? | ||
| Matt Brown's old grappling coach sucker punched him in the back of the head and then he runs off. | ||
| Oh no, you ain't running because Matt Brown's coaches are around. | ||
| Leicester Bowling and his other Jiu-Jitsu coach, they catch this dude. | ||
| Beat the brakes off of him. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Then he got arrested. | ||
| Reed Harris was just like, hey! | ||
| Just went all aggro. | ||
| Caught this dude. | ||
| Why'd they punch him in the back of the head? | ||
| Because they have a history. | ||
| What an asshole. | ||
| Yeah, but can you... | ||
| I've got to pee on my big huge dick. | ||
| I'll be right back. | ||
| Let us know about it. | ||
| Think about it. | ||
| He's all trimmed up, huh? | ||
| How much has he lost? | ||
| I swear to God, he's got to be... | ||
| He usually walked around at 255 in every bit. | ||
| He's probably 240 right now. | ||
| Has it made you think about changing your diet? | ||
| No. | ||
| You like eating bread and shit? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I do well with carbs, like rice. | ||
| I eat pretty clean. | ||
| Rice, potatoes. | ||
| I don't mind it. | ||
| I don't think I'm the body type. | ||
| I think I'd get even skinnier, dude. | ||
| For me, I need all the carbs I can get. | ||
| I sleep well on carbs. | ||
| Have you ever tried not having them? | ||
| No. | ||
| So how do you know? | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, I have though, actually, and that's not true. | ||
| I stay very far away from sugar. | ||
| Yeah, but that's, I think, the most important thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't eat sugar. | ||
| That's what I was telling people when the first attempt at doing something, I tried gluten, no gluten. | ||
| But I think the real issue is I wasn't eating bread. | ||
| So if I'm not eating bread, I'm not getting sugar. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And when I, and I don't eat a lot of bread because I'm aware of, because I monitor my body. | ||
| Like, so if I eat two slices, even of really good bread, I notice that my energy kind of, it's not the same as if I eat slow cooked oatmeal, I feel really good. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
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|
Yeah. | |
| There's definitely some spikes going on, some insulin spikes going on when you eat sugar and you eat bread and we're just used to them. | ||
| Remember, I don't eat a lot either. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| I'm not a big eater to begin with. | ||
| Oh, we got the fight. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Damian Mayan, Matt Brown. | ||
| This is round three? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| We don't know what was going on before that, but we assume it was good. | ||
| They don't look too... | ||
| Oh, he's sprawling. | ||
| He's trying to keep it standing up. | ||
| Damian Mayan's doing a good job of standing on the outside of... | ||
| But he's making it real obvious that he wants to take him down. | ||
| He shoots in. | ||
| He has to move away from the kick. | ||
| He's so big at 170. Maya's a beast at 170. I've never seen him in person. | ||
| I mean, he fought for the title at 185. He's a big guy. | ||
| Ooh, good jab there by Maya, and he tries to take down again. | ||
| And Matt Brown punches him, and he... | ||
| And Matt Brown gets on top. | ||
| This is where he fucked up, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can't do that, dude. | ||
| That's a trap. | ||
| Can't let Damien trap you. | ||
| We thought he hurt him. | ||
| You know, he didn't really hurt him. | ||
| Damian Maia did exactly... | ||
| Brendan Schaub just returns. | ||
| He did exactly what we were saying about Fabrizio Verdun with Fedor. | ||
| He pretends he gets hurt, and Matt Brown moved in to try to finish him, and then Maia got a hold of him. | ||
| Are you talking about the ultimate honey dick? | ||
| And Maia drags him to the ground. | ||
| This is how confident he is in his jiu-jitsu. | ||
| He lets him mount him. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I mean, he drags him to the ground just to do this, just to sweep him, and now Matt Brown's fucked. | ||
| That sequence, that whole sequence was so advanced, what he just did there. | ||
| He let Matt Brown drag him down, and Matt Brown, his instincts as a destroyer were to immediately get on top of him. | ||
| Because he's not seeing that in training. | ||
| No one's doing that in training. | ||
| No, especially not allowing him to potentially knock him out with some ground and pound. | ||
| But Damien Maia's jiu-jitsu is so solid and so slick that whatever shot attempts he gets off, mostly it deflected, and then he eventually sweeps him, and now he's mounting him up against a cage. | ||
| And Matt Brown right now is in quicksand. | ||
| When you have Damian Maia on top of you and your legs are pinned together like that, that's terrifying. | ||
| Because what he's done here is he's isolated his legs with a triangle. | ||
| So by having those legs extended like that, he has no power from his hips. | ||
| He can't throw any punches, he can't get his feet back under him, and he can't get those legs back. | ||
| So he's got to commit with his hands. | ||
| So he's got to push down with his hands, and while he's pushing down with his hands, Maia can punch him in the face. | ||
| And so finally he gets his half guard back up, but whatever, good luck with that. | ||
| He'll get these butterflies, and Maya will just sit on your legs, wear them out, put pressure on you, and then when you stand up, he'll just get to an even better position. | ||
| He does this for all three rounds, by the way. | ||
| Well, this is what he does, man. | ||
| He did it to Rick Story. | ||
| Rick Story is a gorilla. | ||
| He's a gorilla wrestler who walks around at 200, cuts down to 170, and Damian Maya ragdolled him, man. | ||
| See, that wasn't that impressive. | ||
| He did it to Gunnar Nelson. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then Neil Magny was like, oh, you're on a win streak? | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Check this out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He just shuts you down on the ground. | ||
| How about the fact that Jake Shields beat Damian Maia? | ||
| Sure did. | ||
| In a grappling contest. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Jake Shields is legit one of the best in the world as a grappler. | ||
| One of the best in the world. | ||
| Jake beat him in the UFC. Yeah. | ||
| I mean, but that's why. | ||
| Because if they were grappling, Jake would give them a hell of a fucking run. | ||
| Jake is a beast, dude. | ||
| His grappling is absolutely world-class. | ||
| His problem in the UFC has always been his speed and his striking. | ||
| He's just not a dangerous striker in the way a lot of guys are. | ||
| It's not even that. | ||
| He's a boring fighter. | ||
| Not to me, to the brass. | ||
| So you look at who he's beat. | ||
| He's beat the very best. | ||
| He's beat, I think, all top five guys. | ||
| He's beat Robbie Lawler. | ||
| He's beat all these guys. | ||
| Damian Maia, Woodley. | ||
| Hey, you would know this answer. | ||
| Look, he's trying to protect himself, but it's just futile. | ||
| It's just when Maya gets that body triangle around on you, he's just constantly manipulating you. | ||
| He doesn't try in one direction only. | ||
| He's setting up escape doors. | ||
| So if you try to move through one of those escape doors, a new trap is waiting for you. | ||
| And those traps you're not going to see because that's from years and years and years. | ||
| So your basic movements that usually get you out aren't going to happen. | ||
| Ouch! | ||
| Ouch! | ||
| Right in the face over and over. | ||
| Yeah, don't say ouch though, huh? | ||
| Hey, let me ask you this. | ||
| You would know this. | ||
| Why, when they showed the top contenders in the 185-pound weight class, was Yoel Romero not there? | ||
| Because he just got cleared to fight again. | ||
| Well, he didn't get cleared to fight again. | ||
| No. | ||
| They cleared the possibility that he might get a lesser sentence because they found the supplement that he took. | ||
| But you're not supposed to take supplements. | ||
| When you just buy some shit at GNC, he's just beating on him and manipulating him with that body triangle, man. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| I thought he was cleared to fight in two months or something. | ||
| No, I don't think they've made a clear decision yet, but they've opened the door for him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that. | |
| Oh my god, he tried to punch back behind him. | ||
| I'm surprised he did that. | ||
| Well, he's done now. | ||
| Once it's under the neck, he's done. | ||
| This one's over. | ||
| There's not much you can do. | ||
| How badass is Matt Brown, though? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I mean, he's badass, but I'm just so impressed with Damian Maia. | ||
| I mean, how do you not be impressed with Damian Maia? | ||
| You think title shot next for Maia? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Has to be, right? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| And by the way... | ||
| He's ran through all these young guys. | ||
| If he gets those guys down, they're all fucked. | ||
| They're all fucked. | ||
| Damian Maia, if you don't knock him out, and at 170, that ain't no picnic, because he can strike. | ||
| He can hit hard, man. | ||
| Well, if he decides to strike with Robbie Lawler, I'm just kidding. | ||
| I don't think he will. | ||
| I mean, I don't think he will. | ||
| He's gonna try to turn him into one of these. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Dude, he's the master. | ||
| When it comes to jiu-jitsu, he is the UFC master. | ||
| Because he is, out of all the guys, he's the one guy that's fought the most intelligently with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Because look at Fabrizio. | ||
| His striking got better, he got better with striking, but his striking ultimately cost him. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Whereas, Maia has just never gone off track. | ||
| This is new, though. | ||
| This new winning streak. | ||
| Because remember before, it's like... | ||
|
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|
170. Yeah, 170. Because he went down to 170. Yeah, at 185, he was trying to strike with dudes. | |
| He was too small. | ||
| He was striking too much. | ||
| He was too small. | ||
| He wasn't strong enough to overwhelm them at 170. Or at 185. But at 170, he is. | ||
| He's going to be tough to beat, man. | ||
| Fuck yeah, he is. | ||
| Yeah, I want to see... | ||
| I'm excited to see Jacare fight Luke... | ||
|
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|
Yes. | |
| Speaking of jujitsu. | ||
| Well, Luke's got to get past Weidman. | ||
| You know, the rematch with Weidman is going to be crazy. | ||
| It's going to be interesting. | ||
| Look, Weidman made a big mistake in that fight. | ||
| Before that big mistake, it was a very close fight. | ||
| It was like, who knows what was going on. | ||
| And now Weidman says he had a broken foot, but Luke said he had a bad staph infection. | ||
| You know more than anybody. | ||
| When you go into fights, most of the time, you're not 100%. | ||
| You're not 100%, and with Weidman, from what I hear from his camp and from him, it was the worst camp of his life. | ||
| Like, he knew he needed to change things, but he thought he was so talented, he's a real champ, he's fine. | ||
| He doesn't need to do anything. | ||
| Why was it the worst camp? | ||
| I guess he had injuries and certain things. | ||
| He should have been flying people in. | ||
| He just didn't. | ||
| He should have been going somewhere else, working with Mark Henry more and doing other stuff. | ||
| He was just like, I'm good, man. | ||
| I'm champ. | ||
| He kind of got comfortable. | ||
| It ended up costing him. | ||
| This is no... | ||
| This is no gimme fight for either guy. | ||
| For either guy. | ||
| This is a war. | ||
| This is a war. | ||
| It's a war. | ||
| You know, I mean, Rockhold thinks he's gonna run through him this time because he thinks he doesn't have a staph infection. | ||
| And, you know, the staph infection was physically, like, really bad. | ||
| And he thinks he also is riding on the confidence of having beaten him, having beaten the living fuck out of Lyoto Machida. | ||
| His top game is some of the nastiest shit I've ever seen in my life. | ||
|
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|
Strong! | |
| So good. | ||
| Big dude. | ||
| So what happens, he's a big dude, but he's also really talented, really smart, works hard, and he trains with two fucking gorillas. | ||
| Cain Velasquez and Daniel Cormier. | ||
| So he's going to war with gorillas. | ||
| And then Habib. | ||
| And Habib, I think, you know, training with a guy that's as high-level as Habib, you mirror some of his movements, you understand what he's doing, and then Habib's dad down there helping guys out there. | ||
| Was his dad a coach? | ||
| Oh, his dad coached Habib. | ||
| You know, I mean, his dad's always around Habib. | ||
| And his dad coached a few other guys that have fought in the UFC as well. | ||
| But you're also getting from Habib and, you know, DC and Kane, you're also picking up their training tendencies and the blueprint of these elite of the elite. | ||
| And the three of them and the four of them are coming together. | ||
| And Bob Cook, too, man. | ||
| Bob Cook's a wizard. | ||
| Javier... | ||
| Mendez is a wizard. | ||
| You got great talent as far as coaching. | ||
| They all have fights coming up. | ||
|
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|
They're all together. | |
| He's also about as big as you can get for an 85-er. | ||
| He walked around at 216. That's a big guy. | ||
| That's a lot of weight to lose. | ||
| He's slim right now. | ||
| He's in shape right now. | ||
| I just saw him this weekend. | ||
| He's slim. | ||
| Well, he's fighting in a couple of weeks. | ||
| He was fighting two weeks before his fight. | ||
| He was 215 pounds. | ||
| It's out here in LA, June 4th. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It's June 4th, right? | ||
| June 3rd and 4th? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That weekend? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a big, big fight in the middleweight division. | ||
| It's not getting enough attention, man. | ||
| It's interesting who becomes huge and famous and who does not become huge and famous. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| But I haven't seen much publicity on this fight either. | ||
| I haven't? | ||
| Zero. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| No, I mean, I'm sure they're going to ramp it up when it comes close to pay-per-view time. | ||
| But as far as the history of the middleweight division, I mean, Anderson was the GOAT, right? | ||
| He's the greatest of all time. | ||
| Anderson loses to this kid named Weidman by knockout. | ||
| Weidman should become a star. | ||
| Doesn't work like that. | ||
| I mean, in my eyes, he's a star. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| That sounds so gay. | ||
|
unidentified
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In my eyes, he's a star. | |
| I mean, I don't understand. | ||
| As a fan of MMA, I immediately became a gigantic Chris Weidman fan. | ||
| I was already a Chris Weidman fan. | ||
| Here's the scary shit on that fucking card. | ||
| Hector Lombard versus Dan Henderson. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Do not blink. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Don't blink. | ||
| And don't count that old man out. | ||
| You can never count Danny Henderson out. | ||
| You can't count that guy out. | ||
| If he comes to the octagon with a scarf on, I'm counting him out. | ||
| See ya. | ||
| See ya. | ||
| Clay Guida's fighting again. | ||
| Cole Miller fighting BJ Penn. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And here's one everyone's sleeping on. | ||
| Max Holloway. | ||
| Get on that. | ||
| Fighting Ricardo Lamas. | ||
| Click on that. | ||
| Everybody's sleeping on that. | ||
| They are sleeping on that. | ||
| Bro, Brian Ortega versus Clay Guida is a fun one, too. | ||
| Because Guida's going to try to take him down. | ||
| That's good luck with all that. | ||
| Ortega's transition, his guard is, I think, the best in that division at 145. I think it's the best in the UFC. Nobody fucking throws up triangles the way Brian Ortega does. | ||
| That guy is so scary off his back. | ||
| You gotta train with that guy, Joe. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| It's like, what the... | ||
| Just... | ||
| Oh, and all he does is let people... | ||
| The best in the world star in his guard. | ||
| He just trains from there all the time. | ||
| I can only imagine. | ||
| And it's so fast. | ||
| Everything's so fast and explosive. | ||
| He's athletic. | ||
| I completely believe it. | ||
| He got popped. | ||
| He did. | ||
| He got popped for something. | ||
| All those Black House boys did for a while there. | ||
| Yeah, he got popped for something. | ||
| He's back now, baby! | ||
| But let me tell you something. | ||
| His last performance... | ||
| Click on him real quick. | ||
| Let me see what his last fight was. | ||
| I forget what his... | ||
| Triangle City. | ||
| Yeah, well that's his TC. Yeah, but he won by Triangle's last fight. | ||
| Yeah, he did. | ||
| But that's his nickname, Triangle City. | ||
| Diego Brando. | ||
| That's when Brando got cut. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I bet you're thinking of the Tarveris fight where he's back and forth. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| That was a fucking fight. | ||
| He KO'd him in the third round. | ||
| Fight of the night. | ||
| And then it was, yeah, it was the Diego Brandao fight. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| And Brandao said, you know what, man? | ||
| I'm going to go to a strip club with a gun and we'll see how this works out. | ||
| And then the UFC said, hey, man, you're not Jon Jones. | ||
| We're going to have to let you go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Plus, you can't go to a strip club with a gun. | ||
| That's a bad idea. | ||
| Yeah, that's a bad idea. | ||
| That's impulse control. | ||
| Now I'm remembering the fight. | ||
| It was super, super impressive jujitsu. | ||
| That Clay Guido Ortega one, that's fun. | ||
| When they told me he got that matchup, I said, this is the perfect fight for you. | ||
| Because the big name, it's a great style matchup for you, and everyone loves Clay, and it'll put you more on the map. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Clay, where's he at now? | ||
| Is he still training at Jackson's? | ||
| Or Jackson's Muscle Farm. | ||
| He's in his RV and shit, driving around nonstop. | ||
| It's been a while since he's had a good win. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| You've got to wonder how much longer he's going to be doing this. | ||
| I agree, man. | ||
| So this could be a make-or-break fight for him. | ||
| But if he wins, who knows? | ||
|
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|
He gets a resurgence. | |
| Dude, Cruz favor three... | ||
| I'm just not excited for it. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| Are you out of your mind? | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Can you get me excited for it maybe? | ||
| I love this fight. | ||
| I love this fight because first of all, I think Uriah Faber is as close as you can get to being a world champion. | ||
| He's on the edge like everybody he fights. | ||
| Like, if he loses to, like, a world champion, it's like a whisper-thin decision. | ||
| It's close. | ||
| Or the one fight that he had with Hennenborough where he got cracked. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that was a weird stoppage, man. | ||
| It's like, he definitely got cracked. | ||
| And if Hennenborough cracks you, you've got fucking problems. | ||
| But I thought the stoppage was a little weird. | ||
| But... | ||
| Anybody can get cracked like that. | ||
| Anybody can lose like that. | ||
| That's just a part of this game. | ||
| But I think, like, if you look at talent level and skill level, I go back to, like, the Michael McDonald fight when he fucking just blitzkrieged him and smashed him and choked him. | ||
| We haven't really heard from Michael McDonald since then. | ||
| Just came back recently. | ||
| Came back recently and won. | ||
| Looked fantastic. | ||
| He did look good. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that fight was kind of like, you know what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm gonna take a little break. | ||
| But when Uriah beat him, it really cemented in my head. | ||
| I was like, look, you gotta never sleep on this kid, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's a vet. | |
| You can't, man. | ||
| He's one of the biggest straws, too. | ||
| He's super competitive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I want? | |
| And I think he's better. | ||
| I think he keeps getting better. | ||
| I don't think he's a guy that's in a static state. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| I don't think he's like a veteran that's kind of like, you know, just putting in the work and phoning it in. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Just gets in shape, brings his normal tools. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| You mean he's always changing all his... | ||
| Yes, I think he just keeps getting better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I want, Joe? | |
| I think he comes into this fight guns blazing. | ||
| You know what I want? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I want the fucking winner of this fights Mighty Mouse. | ||
| Mighty Mouse, beg for it, man. | ||
| Beg for it. | ||
| For the love of God. | ||
| Can you imagine if Uriah Faber beats Cruz, and that's a big F, and then fights Mighty Mouse? | ||
| Good lord. | ||
| Mighty Mouse, do you hate money? | ||
| And fame. | ||
| Let's do it, dawg. | ||
| And Uriah Faber would, for the first time in his career, just dwarf somebody. | ||
| He'd be the bigger guy. | ||
| He'd be like Cyborg on these bitches. | ||
| How much shorter is Mighty Mouse than Uriah? | ||
| Quite a bit. | ||
| Quite a bit. | ||
| He's a small guy, but skill-wise, he makes up for it tremendously. | ||
| He's impossible to hit. | ||
| Impossible. | ||
| Remember, Dominic Cruz and Mighty Mouse have fought before. | ||
| That was at 135, and Dominic won a decision. | ||
| But Dominic has got his own style. | ||
| If you look at his movement and his patterns, good luck finding anybody to replicate that. | ||
| His footwork and his movement and his patterns are all designed to constantly keep you guessing. | ||
| You're constantly being overrun with information. | ||
| If a guy stands in front of you, the less data that's coming your way, the more that you have... | ||
| You can concentrate on what's at hand and focus on what you're trying to do. | ||
| Smartest guy in the sport, I think. | ||
| And Dominic never gives you that. | ||
| He doesn't give you that. | ||
| There's never a time where he's standing in front of you just Muay Thai-ing you. | ||
| Yeah, you and Chael were talking to him and you were just blown away by him. | ||
| And we were training with him. | ||
| And he was training me and Chael like we're two white belts. | ||
| Like, Jesus Christ, man. | ||
| He's a wizard. | ||
| He's a wizard. | ||
| Dude, you're sleeping on Poirier. | ||
| Poirier in green. | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| I'm not sleeping on that at all. | ||
|
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|
That's a fucking fight, son. | |
| Green's hard to hang. | ||
| Bobby Green hasn't been in a big fight in a while, too. | ||
| I'm psyched to see him back. | ||
| Bobby Green's one of them. | ||
| He always does a lot of shit talking. | ||
| But Bobby Green, when he's at his best, is one of the best at 155. So the diamond, too, man, at 55, now that he's there. | ||
| Because he fell off just a tad, and then he's at 55 now. | ||
| Well, Conor knocked him out. | ||
| He got knocked out in the first round by Connor, and he struggled too hard to make that fucking weight. | ||
| Yeah, big dude. | ||
| Those were during the IV days, too, by the way. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It's really interesting to see the difference in a lot of these guys' bodies, now that there's so much testing. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Some of them. | ||
| Yeah, some of them, for sure. | ||
| It's just that, like, what I would always think is if you wrestled and you did jiu-jitsu and you boxed and you kicked, you'd come out looking very, very muscular. | ||
| When you look at guys back, you know, five years ago and you look at guys now, there is a difference. | ||
| Like, if anything, they get kind of skinnier. | ||
| They look smoother. | ||
| Here's a big one. | ||
| EPO. If you can't use EPO, you've got to lose body mass. | ||
| You just have to. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| It's a big part of... | ||
| Endurance. | ||
| Oxygen to the muscles. | ||
| That's what that melodium, whatever that stuff was, that boxer got caught from. | ||
| It mirrors that effect. | ||
| Those Russians are balls deep in it, I guess. | ||
| How about the Sochi? | ||
| Oh, too. | ||
| That's what the guy who fought... | ||
| Bagatinov. | ||
| Yeah, Bagatinov. | ||
| He's 125 pounds. | ||
| Did you read about the Sochi Olympics? | ||
| What? | ||
| And how... | ||
| They've uncovered that they don't know how they got into those bottles that they make in Switzerland. | ||
| They're like tamper for proof. | ||
| But however they did it, they're drawing this whole thing where every like they think a hundred athletes in the Olympics were cheating on the Russian on the Russian side. | ||
| And the information came from the Russian guy who ran the lab and the other two guys that he worked with mysteriously died. | ||
| So this guy exiled himself to Los Angeles. | ||
| He ran the entire lab and now he's coming clean saying, well, our intelligence operatives were were. | ||
| We're basically involved in getting clean samples to WADA, etc. | ||
| Why is he snitching? | ||
| And it's basically out of a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why is he doing this? | |
| Because his two colleagues were killed because they knew things. | ||
| So he went, oh, I'm next. | ||
| So just move to LA and shut your mouth. | ||
| That's what he did. | ||
| No, you can't shut your mouth. | ||
| Because Russians will get you. | ||
| You can't shut your mouth. | ||
| If he shuts his mouth, they'll still get him. | ||
| Yeah, and he had to prove that his life was in danger. | ||
| Yeah, you don't think they'd get you if you shut your mouth and you moved to LA? Oh, you're at home base. | ||
| You touched base. | ||
| They killed that guy in DC. This isn't the movies, is it? | ||
| Russian intelligence can find you. | ||
| Who'd they kill in DC? This guy. | ||
| He was found dead with blunt force trauma to the head. | ||
| I wonder how that happened. | ||
| Yeah, but here's the thing. | ||
| The autopsy, they didn't do an autopsy for a long time. | ||
| And initially, the cause of death was ruled as a heart attack. | ||
| And then they found blunt force trauma on his head. | ||
| How do you miss that? | ||
| Yeah, fine. | ||
| Because it's a spooky story. | ||
| Ex-aide to Putin died of blunt force trauma at DC Hotel, medical examiner says. | ||
| But look when they found him, and look when they actually made the autopsy claim. | ||
| I think it was quite a bit of time. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Died from blunt force trauma. | ||
| He got kettlebelled in the fucking head. | ||
| That's what they did. | ||
| Some Russian fucking kettlebells. | ||
| They tied him up and they just did fucking swings right at his head. | ||
| Dude, can you imagine that? | ||
| Someone killed you with a kettlebell? | ||
| Just being tied up by some Russian thugs and being fucked up. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It said, Family members told Russian news media in November that they thought Leslin had suffered a heart attack. | ||
| That's when they put that down in November. | ||
| So when was this article where they decided that, this is really recently, it's March. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, see, so there's all those months that went by before it was announced that he was killed. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| In a hotel beat to death. | ||
| And now they've been caught just blatantly cheating. | ||
| In the Olympics. | ||
| Yeah, but this is a guy that says this. | ||
| I don't know that there's been... | ||
| I've read the article. | ||
| I don't know that there's been definitive proof that everything he's saying is true, that he hasn't exaggerated something. | ||
| Well, the New York Times ran two articles on their front page, and if the New York Times is going to do that, they've checked their sources. | ||
| Yeah, but it's not a matter of checking sources. | ||
| Like, what is the physical evidence that you have? | ||
| The physical proof, yeah. | ||
| There very well could be a story there that the New York Times must run, and I'm sure that they check their sources. | ||
| But is there anything that they can hold up and say, this needs to be examined because this is proof positive that... | ||
| No, it'd be everywhere if they did that. | ||
| It'd be on CNN. Yeah, so I don't think it's there yet. | ||
| But... | ||
| Look, it's 100% going on. | ||
| Is anyone surprised? | ||
| No. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| Well, Nowitzki told me straight up that they're figuring out a way to move around these things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And that while he's doing this, he's like, I always know. | ||
| And Nowitzki is Jeff Nowitzki, who's the guy who caught Lance Armstrong, who's the guy who works for the UFC now. | ||
| For people listening to this. | ||
| AKA the Golden Snitch. | ||
| Yeah, he's the guy that catches guys doing everything. | ||
| And, you know, they're on top of the latest and the greatest. | ||
| For $32 million of the government's money. | ||
| And the latest, I know, he doesn't want to admit that. | ||
| Our money. | ||
| Our taxpayer money. | ||
| He wants to pretend it was way less than that. | ||
| He was giving me like a figure on the show. | ||
| I heard. | ||
| That's why Lance Armstrong came on the show. | ||
| Because what he's not counting is like salaries and flights and all this stuff. | ||
| What they're counting is like the amount of money they actually had to spend like on vouchers. | ||
| So that's the government. | ||
| So that's the federal government with unlimited resources spending 32 million dollars on a cyclist Still going after him, by the way. | ||
| Still going after him. | ||
| They're going after him now for $100 million still because they said he defrauded the government of how much they paid him because he raced for the post office. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| But it's your tax dollars. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| If you race for the post office, the post office is the government, so they charge you for three times what you took. | ||
| So if you took 33, they'd charge them for a million. | ||
| How stupid is it? | ||
| It's called tyranny. | ||
| For riding a bike. | ||
| Yeah, 33. They go after him for 100. Write a letter. | ||
| Write a letter to the government. | ||
| See what happens. | ||
| Is Nowitzki the ultimate golden snitch? | ||
| No. | ||
| Why do you say golden snitch? | ||
| Golden, because he's at another level. | ||
| But he's not a snitch. | ||
| He's an investigator. | ||
| He's not like a guy who's involved. | ||
| A snitch would be Victor Conte. | ||
| Victor Conte's a snitch. | ||
| He got caught rattled on him. | ||
| But he didn't even rat on people when he got caught. | ||
| You can't even call him a snitch. | ||
| You call him a post-operative. | ||
| Victor Conte? | ||
| He used to do it. | ||
| We call them rats where I come from. | ||
| See, here's the thing. | ||
| He used to be involved in it. | ||
| He's not involved in it anymore. | ||
| Now he's going after people who are involved in it. | ||
| So what is that? | ||
| That's like an informer. | ||
| Yeah, but can I ask you a question? | ||
| Did they ever actually... | ||
| That's not a snitch. | ||
| Jamie says yes. | ||
| It'd kind of be a snitch because he's revealing all this backstory. | ||
| Right, but he could be reformed and since he primarily concentrates on combat sports athletes, you could see him as a... | ||
| He's helping people. | ||
| Like he's keeping people from cheating and hurting people. | ||
| Content. | ||
| Could you see it that way? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But he benefited, the reason why he has a name, the reason why he got so big is because he was helping so many big name athletes, and then now he's against it. | ||
| But should that, should the fact that he was helping all those big name athletes, should that disclude him from being able to realize the error of his ways and make an attempt to try to clean up the sport? | ||
| Is that possible? | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| It's possible, right? | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| That's how I'd hope to look at it. | ||
| Did they ever find physical evidence, physical evidence, a test that showed that Lance Armstrong actually cheated? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| No, that's never common. | ||
| They never did. | ||
| So 500 tests or whatever it was. | ||
| Whatever it was. | ||
| Passed all of them. | ||
| He passed all of them. | ||
| $32 million later, but finally he admits that he used performance-enhancing drugs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| To Oprah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But... | ||
| It's very interesting to me. | ||
| What do you think the benefit of that was? | ||
| And I do think that there's a benefit to going after people who are cheating, who are trying to change the playing field. | ||
| I know everybody does. | ||
| Not riding a bike. | ||
| I know everybody does. | ||
| But it's a difficult thing because... | ||
| Well, first of all, it's not an American game. | ||
| You're in another country. | ||
| So you're giving someone some sort of, you're investigating them being involved in something that's not even taking place on American soil. | ||
| So that's the dubious right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Second of all, you are saying as the post office, you're suing this guy for all the money that he made while he was cheating and using drugs. | ||
| If you don't know that cyclists are cheating, what the fuck are you doing in the cyclist business? | ||
| Because I know, I'm a comedian living in LA, and I know they're all cheating. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But the other thing is, how much did he do for the U.S. Postal Office? | ||
| And also, we didn't give a fuck about cycling until Lance Armstrong started kicking ass. | ||
| And how much money did he raise for all this cancer awareness? | ||
| How many people were wearing those yellow wristbands? | ||
| But that doesn't... | ||
| Here's the issue. | ||
| This is where he fucked up. | ||
| He sued a bunch of people that were telling the truth. | ||
| And he used his money. | ||
| That's where he fucked up. | ||
| That's where he's a bad guy in that part. | ||
| But also in his sport, you have to go down to 15th place. | ||
| They were all doing it. | ||
| It's a level playing field. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So it was about everybody was ratting on everybody. | ||
| They got caught. | ||
| They were giving people up. | ||
| There was a lot of that going on. | ||
| And Lance Armstrong started suing people when they were giving up him. | ||
| That is where people have an issue with it. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| And with his mind, he's protecting himself. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| And I can see both sides, but I'm with Lance Armstrong. | ||
| Like, dude, you're snitching on me. | ||
| I gotta protect myself too. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| And you guys started first snitching on me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And the snitching, if we're boys, the snitching is worse than the lawsuit. | ||
| By far. | ||
| By far. | ||
| Especially if we're a team. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We represent America. | ||
| But some of those guys weren't his boys anymore. | ||
| They didn't like him anymore. | ||
| So why snitch, though? | ||
| Very few people liked Lance. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| Did you get anything out of it? | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| I didn't want to say the word. | ||
| But a lot of people didn't like Lance Armstrong. | ||
| They had to dislike him. | ||
| The same reason why they don't like fucking Michael Jordan. | ||
| Let me tell you something. | ||
| Lance Armstrong was on the podcast. | ||
| He wanted to know what number the podcast had gotten up to. | ||
| What's it up to? | ||
| Is it up to number one yet? | ||
| Because it was like number two in the country. | ||
| Tell me when it hits number one. | ||
| I want to hit number one in the country. | ||
| I want to let him know. | ||
| That's the only way he can relate. | ||
| How many downloads are we getting? | ||
| He wants to know. | ||
| Is he getting more than other people's downloads? | ||
| He goes, I'm real crazy. | ||
| He's opening about it. | ||
| He laughs about it. | ||
| He's like, I'm fucking competitive. | ||
| You know me. | ||
| I'm competitive. | ||
| He wanted to have the number one podcast of all time. | ||
| I don't think that way. | ||
| Fuck, I wish I did. | ||
| That's why you're not Lance Armstrong, bitch. | ||
| That's why he just wrestled in high school. | ||
| Hey, I did jiu-jitsu with Henzo Gracie and I got my blue belt. | ||
| You got your what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
My blue belt. | |
| I thought you said you had your purple belt. | ||
| No, I never said that. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Never once. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| We have to go back to the archives. | ||
| I didn't want to touch on it. | ||
| I've never said that ever in my life. | ||
| Did he say he had his purple belt? | ||
| No, I've never said that. | ||
| I'm so confused. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| What do you mean you don't know? | ||
| I don't lie. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| I don't lie. | ||
| There's lies and then there are lies. | ||
| Anybody who says they're a purple belt is a liar. | ||
| I'm a liar, but I'm not a liar. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You definitely didn't say you're a purple belt? | ||
| No! | ||
| I never said I was a purple belt. | ||
| Accidentally once, a little bit drunk. | ||
| I never even said I tapped a purple belt. | ||
| A little drunk. | ||
| Probably did once. | ||
| All I'm saying, B, is the reason why he's Lance Armstrong is because he's competitive at everything. | ||
| Anyone who's an ultra winner, you could be... | ||
| I just said I wish I was like that. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| I just never have been. | ||
| Why would you wish you were like that? | ||
| Because what you are is awesome. | ||
| Because I want to be a cyclist. | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| What you want to be is... | ||
| What you are is a guy who always wants to be something other than you are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| And that's part of the fun of being around Brian Callen. | ||
| I spent a lot of time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, I wish I was that guy. | |
| And then you go into this romanticized version of what that guy is. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Meanwhile, that guy lives living in Austin and people throwing eggs at his house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, that guy can't post social media or nothing without getting hate. | |
| It's sort of relaxing a bit now, but I mean, dude, when the storm comes your way, like when you get in trouble for something along those lines, the storm of being a national disgrace and someone who everyone's angry at, and there's so much going on with the lawsuits and the And he's still involved in the lawsuit with the post office. | ||
| The storm of pressure and stress is probably overwhelming and never-ending. | ||
| But it also gives everyone now a voice on social media who's never done shit in their lives to fucking contribute and try and shit on Lance Robson, one of the greatest athletes of all time. | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah. | ||
| I'm gonna fuck with this guy now. | ||
| Oh, you post a picture of your kids at Christmas? | ||
| Oh, fuck these kids. | ||
| Where's their steroids at? | ||
| Alright, man. | ||
| Hope you feel better about yourself. | ||
| He's still killing it. | ||
| He's still living in a mansion. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's just part of the program. | ||
| It's what comes with the program. | ||
| And I don't think he's a bad guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It was amazing talking to him. | ||
| Great podcast. | ||
| I listened to it. | ||
| He's my buddy now. | ||
| We text each other. | ||
| It's bizarre as fuck. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| I get a text every now and then from Lance Armstrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's the man. | |
| Like when Dan Bilzerian was doing that bet. | ||
| You know, he's doing a bet where he rode a bike to Las Vegas. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| Yeah, well, I don't know if he's talked about it publicly. | ||
| I don't know if he's talked about the fact that he did it. | ||
| Anyway, Lance Armstrong texted me. | ||
| He's like, you know Dan Bilzerian? | ||
| Hook us up. | ||
| I want to help him. | ||
| So fucking Lance Armstrong helps Dan Bilzerian train for this thing where he's got to ride to Vegas in 30 hours. | ||
| He's like, he could totally do it. | ||
| It's totally doable. | ||
| How did Bilzerian make his money? | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think his parents had money. | ||
| That's what they think. | ||
| And this is going what I know from the internet, is they're saying... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love how you do that with air quotes. | |
| Also known as the underworld. | ||
| He was playing that he has all this money and all this stuff from being one of these top poker players in the world, but it came out that he comes from a lot of money. | ||
| So he puts on this lifestyle, like this baller. | ||
| Was drafting against the rules? | ||
| It wasn't a lot of draft. | ||
| That's why he did most of the trip, I think, is behind a van like that. | ||
| Oh, where someone drove the van? | ||
| Well, his beard is a major air drag. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's a big deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I mean, I don't know if it wasn't within the rules. | ||
| Maybe he should have set the rules before they made that bet. | ||
| Especially if the wind is headed his face. | ||
| Hashtag y'all got hustled. | ||
| If the wind is headed towards his face. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| If they didn't put that in the rules, they fucked up. | ||
| Because Bilzerian's a smart bitch. | ||
| And look what he's got, too. | ||
| The van's back doors are open. | ||
| So they could have a fan blowing on him with, like, misters and shit. | ||
| He's a pimp. | ||
| How do you not love that guy? | ||
| Every picture he takes, he's got a hundred whores with him. | ||
| And I say whores, I say that with all love. | ||
| All love and due respect. | ||
| All those great humans. | ||
| Private jets. | ||
| I should say he has a hundred beautiful women with him, because that's what he does. | ||
| But that's part of his image. | ||
| That's all personas. | ||
| They're like Charlie's Angels. | ||
| That's a lot of work. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Actually, it is worth dilating on a little bit. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just not that inspiring to me. | ||
| Are you smacking your lips like that? | ||
| What are you doing? | ||
| What's going on with your legs? | ||
| I can tell you right now, what Brian's trying to do is say that he's not a fan of this guy. | ||
| He's trying to be very PC of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I sure am. | |
| Because you never fucking draw the line with anything. | ||
| I just don't. | ||
| I just don't like this culture that is essentially celebrating itself. | ||
| I just don't... | ||
| That's not a guy to hang out with when you're that happy with yourself and you think, hey, you know, I was going to tell... | ||
| I met him. | ||
| He's a nice guy. | ||
| My business manager saying spending $125,000 on a private jet was a bad idea. | ||
| I disagree with this naked girl. | ||
| All right. | ||
| I'm sure I'd love hanging out with him, but it's just not that inspiring to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| But you have to realize that people doing this are akin in a lot of ways to gangster rappers. | ||
| What they're doing is putting out an image. | ||
| That image becomes popular. | ||
| That popular image equates to millions and millions of followers on Instagram because he's manipulated the media. | ||
| Ugh, to all of it, though. | ||
| But he can use that to promote himself in all sorts of different ways, and then he becomes a business. | ||
| Promote himself. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But that's what you do when you're promoting shows. | ||
| What I'm saying is, like, a person promotes himself on Instagram, where it's a girl who's got yoga pants and a nice big butt, and she makes money all of a sudden doing squats. | ||
| Yeah, not mad at her. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of those people. | ||
| But there's a difference. | ||
| Yeah, look at that. | ||
| 17 million followers. | ||
| But Brian, what's the difference between a girl sticking her butt out or him? | ||
| He's got 17 million Instagram followers. | ||
| There's no difference. | ||
| You're just saying it's not inspiring. | ||
| Yeah, I'm saying that at least, like, don't you think? | ||
| It's a little bit maybe like the difference between you see a body that's built for something. | ||
| Like, if you look at Joe Schilling's body, it's built for a purpose. | ||
| And then you see somebody who's a bodybuilder. | ||
| All due respect, a bodybuilder is a hard thing to do. | ||
| Click on a girl's butt. | ||
| Yeah, please. | ||
| It's just not that cool. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This has 343,000 lights, Brian. | ||
| Brian, you're saying he doesn't have skills. | ||
| You're saying he doesn't possess a skill? | ||
| His skill is self-promotion, but it ends there. | ||
| So it's a self-contained thing, yeah. | ||
| But you say that, but how do you know? | ||
| Because he's also a professional poker player. | ||
| He makes millions of dollars gambling. | ||
| So they say. | ||
| So they say. | ||
| That's debatable. | ||
| Is it debatable? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Well, didn't he win this fucking debate? | ||
| He won this million-dollar bet to go to Vegas. | ||
| I know, but... | ||
| I mean, he did it. | ||
| I mean, he worked hard. | ||
| He worked hard for five weeks to do that. | ||
| It's not like an empty guy with no character. | ||
| It might be just a wild... | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He might be a business beast. | |
| He might be a wild, fun-seeking motherfucker that's actually pulling it off. | ||
| He's a marketing genius. | ||
| If you were a guy who didn't have any set of skills and all of a sudden by hook or by crook or by luck or by fuck, you find yourself with $100 million. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| I'm running with it. | ||
| Wouldn't you want to live like this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| If you don't have any kids, you got a mansion on top of the hill, and you don't have any skills? | ||
| No, I wouldn't. | ||
| I'd try to make a difference. | ||
| Brian, you hang out with people that are way more shallow than him, so shut the fuck up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, I don't. | |
| No, I don't. | ||
| I do not, sir. | ||
| You are wrong. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Stop for a second and just consider this. | ||
| I don't want to attack you. | ||
| Did we not talk about someone before this show that you used to hang out with all the time that is equally as fucked up as that guy? | ||
| I'm trying to think of who. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whatever. | |
| Do you mean right before this show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's just too complicated. | ||
| Listen, I don't know the guy. | ||
| I've met him. | ||
| He seems nice. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Brian likes that guy because he has skills. | ||
| I don't think he has to be. | ||
| If you give me $100 million, listen, you give me $100 million, you know what I'm going to do? | ||
| The responsibility. | ||
| Don't say charity. | ||
| I'm going to try to make a difference in the world. | ||
| And you're trying to do that now? | ||
| I am. | ||
| At least with the skills that I have. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| Well, I'm trying to be as original as I can be. | ||
| But you're like an open up charity bee. | ||
| Brian, you're doing that because you enjoy it, because you're entertaining people. | ||
| Okay, you're not going out seeking to make a difference in the world. | ||
| You're going out having a good time, doing a good thing, doing Doing a good act. | ||
| That's exactly right. | ||
| But I also do try to make a difference in the world in my own way, charity-wise and things like that. | ||
| I do. | ||
| I spend money on charity. | ||
| I spend money trying to make the world better. | ||
| If you give me $100 million, I'm going to do that. | ||
| But let's be honest. | ||
| You're not a guy who's really promoting charities a lot and talking about it a lot and giving money to GoFundMe's. | ||
| No, but at least what I'm trying to do is go, let's just take stand-up. | ||
| You're talking to two friends here. | ||
| Let's just take stand-up. | ||
| Let's take stand-up. | ||
| So stand-up for me, at least what I'm trying to do in my own mind is surprise myself and come up with, you know, see what I'm made of. | ||
| Right, you're entertaining people doing your thing, right? | ||
| It's not your way of giving back. | ||
| This is not a criticism of your stand-up. | ||
| I think you're hilarious. | ||
| You know I love you. | ||
| I think you're awesome. | ||
| What I'm saying is that I think there's a difference between the skill of stand-up, for example, and coming up with a body of work and taking all that money and shooting guns and being on a private jet and having chicks around, right? | ||
| See, here's the problem. | ||
| How do we know he's not giving to charity, though? | ||
| Listen, man, you don't know that. | ||
| And here's the other thing. | ||
| He might be. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He might not be. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| But what I'm seeing is a show. | ||
| It's a very short snippet show. | ||
| What you just saw there, when he's walking by that girl's butt and he's got a machine gun. | ||
| I was in. | ||
| Not only are you in, but here's the thing. | ||
| Obviously, this is staged. | ||
| This is a fucking show. | ||
| There is a camera behind him. | ||
| Especially the way it was shot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a camera behind him. | ||
| He's moving in slow-mo. | ||
| He's got a bandolier on, dude. | ||
| Do you not see how ridiculous this is? | ||
| Yeah, I do stand-up like that. | ||
| Brian, listen, let's just open-minded. | ||
| You're watching the video, he's in a dune buggy with all these hot chicks. | ||
| Do you think this is really happening? | ||
| That they just get clandestine, you know, just unnoticed video of him driving around this dune buggy with all these hot chicks? | ||
| No, he hired someone! | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He's walking in slow motion with his bandolier. | ||
| The girls are laughing. | ||
| Those hoes are all rented for the day. | ||
| This is a goddamn show. | ||
| This is a show. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| All I'm saying is even if you got $100 million, you're not becoming Mother Teresa. | ||
| No one here is. | ||
| No, I'm not, but I'm just saying that... | ||
| Don't pretend that. | ||
| That's the only issue I have. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| I'm just not. | ||
| All I said was I don't find it that inspiring. | ||
| No one says it is. | ||
| We're not inspired. | ||
| We're not saying, Jesus Christ, Dan Bilzerian makes me want to go give money to charity. | ||
| No! | ||
| I'm just saying, why even be upset? | ||
| I'm not upset. | ||
| I'm not upset. | ||
| I'm saying that to me... | ||
| What if was all that sucking your teeth and crossing your legs? | ||
| I like being dramatic. | ||
| First of all, I like being dramatic. | ||
| But first of all, I'm being inspired by him. | ||
| I was being theatrical. | ||
| I know. | ||
| That's what we're calling you out on. | ||
| But hold on. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| You have to... | ||
| There is criteria for how to live your life. | ||
| There's criteria for how to live your life. | ||
| And I think if you spend $125,000 on whatever, on looking great and celebrating yourself, I just think it kind of... | ||
| It's just not really... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What if the whole marketing plan, though? | ||
| But it's a brilliant marketing plan. | ||
| I get that it might not be your thing. | ||
| Bless this guy. | ||
| Dude, it doesn't have to be your thing. | ||
| That's exactly what I do with my money. | ||
| My point is, to me, it's not offensive at all. | ||
| It's no more offensive than the Kardashians. | ||
| The Kardashians don't offend me. | ||
| I mean, I can make fun of it all day long, but I'm not offended by what they're doing. | ||
| I don't think anything's wrong with it. | ||
| I do. | ||
| It's self-celebration, and I find that very... | ||
| It's not my favorite thing, but it doesn't bother me. | ||
| I think this guy is funny. | ||
| I think this Instagram, what I'm taking out of this, to me, is amusement and humor. | ||
| This is what I'm getting. | ||
| I see it as a persona, like it's a gimmick. | ||
| Look at that picture on the couch. | ||
| To me, this is an exaggeration of all the stereotypes of some super rich Hey, look at me. | ||
| What if this is his life, though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just random pictures. | |
| How sick would that be? | ||
| Listen, it is. | ||
| I mean, just think about it. | ||
| It is his life. | ||
| He's taking these photos with these girls, and I'm sure some of them have sex with him. | ||
| Yeah, I hope so. | ||
| 100%! | ||
| Otherwise, he's doing it wrong. | ||
| He legitimately has unbelievable amounts of money. | ||
| He's got a mansion in the Hollywood Hills. | ||
| How weird is that? | ||
| These girls are around just because you have money and you know it. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| I wouldn't care. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| He's a good-looking guy. | ||
| He's not a bad-looking guy. | ||
| No, he's not bad-looking. | ||
| He's a manly dude. | ||
| He's not going to be in front of GQ. Yeah, he's not bad. | ||
| But I mean, here's the thing. | ||
| Remember we were talking about the Sultan of Brunei? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who hires these girls and he pays them like thousands of dollars a day to hang out at his house and he fucks them occasionally. | ||
| He decides who he wants to fuck. | ||
| He has like a whole disco built into one of his palaces. | ||
| He's a prince. | ||
| And he comes down. | ||
| He sashays through the fucking room naked. | ||
| Does whatever the fuck he wants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This guy's awesome. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| He's like Aladdin. | ||
| And he just picks the girls who wants to bang and brings them up to his room. | ||
| But all of them are getting ungodly amounts of money and jewelry and diamonds and all this shit. | ||
| So we look at that guy and we don't have a problem with it. | ||
| Well, I never said I didn't have a problem with it. | ||
| Do you have a problem with it? | ||
| I don't have a problem with that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gold Royals Royce, son! | |
| What's up, son? | ||
| Bitches and Gold Royals Royces? | ||
| He has like a hundred Ferraris. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| Bam, bitch! | ||
| Killing the game. | ||
| Yeah, but killing what game? | ||
| Killing gold. | ||
| Killing the golden genie game. | ||
| He's killing the life game. | ||
| He's killing the real Aladdin. | ||
| Golotny and excess and vanity. | ||
| Oh, Brian. | ||
| It is, right? | ||
| But yeah, of course. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you're doing duh. | ||
| Like, duh. | ||
| Duh, it's gluttony, but it's hilarious. | ||
| He might be doing some shit for his people, though, too, B. Oh, yeah. | ||
| How about not? | ||
| He might. | ||
| He might. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| He might be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We don't know. | |
| Take it easy. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| That's the thing. | ||
| That's his fleet of cars. | ||
| That's one of them. | ||
| If that's his value system, it's okay. | ||
| Oh, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| Right? | ||
| My problem with you is you're acting like your mother Teresa. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| You're doing all this charity shit. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| What I'm coming down to the fact is that we do live in a culture that somehow celebrates that and I just find it kind of boring. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is, but Kim Kardashian world. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But you don't have to celebrate it to enjoy it. | ||
| Like, look, it is what it is. | ||
| It's part of the folly of humanity. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's our society. | ||
| I think it's amusing. | ||
| You're taking a sense of humor, and you should take a humorous approach to it. | ||
| And I bet you that guy Dan Bilzerian is probably actually a funny guy and a silly goose, I would imagine. | ||
| When I met him, he was very nice. | ||
| He also doesn't know him that well. | ||
| I don't give a shit what he does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This concerns me. | |
| Disconcerned. | ||
| This is what's matter with the world. | ||
| He's an expression of kind of what this culture has to offer. | ||
| Whenever you make a point and I see you're wearing boots and these are like Italian handmade leather zip-up boots. | ||
| When I see that and you cross your legs in this really elegant way that I can't even do. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| I know you can't cross your legs like this. | ||
| Dude, I got a flexible hideous. | ||
| It's that fat dick. | ||
| You got a fat one. | ||
| Yeah, I got a fat dick. | ||
| But I also have fat legs. | ||
| It ain't happening. | ||
| It's the leg thing. | ||
| I got skinny jeans on. | ||
| It ain't happening. | ||
| I tape my genitals down in my armpit. | ||
| By the way, I see you're wearing the fucking stretchy jeans. | ||
| You were wearing them when you were doing Fighter and the Kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all I wear now. | |
| Are you wearing them now? | ||
| These are my 5'4 jeans. | ||
| You gotta throw those out. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I wear the barbell. | ||
| I wear the barbell jeans or my 5'4s. | ||
| 5'4s, these are the stretchy jeans. | ||
| That's what I wheel kicked in. | ||
| Oh, they stretch too? | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| Why do you guys need stretchy jeans? | ||
| Because I feel so good. | ||
| Because I got huge legs. | ||
| I got huge legs. | ||
| Wear some fucking joggers. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| I'm telling you, man. | ||
| Don't send me jeans, Joe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
These jeans? | |
| Don't send me jeans. | ||
| These jeans are like wearing sweatpants. | ||
| They're like wearing sweatpants. | ||
| We both have blowout. | ||
| We have blowout asses and big thighs. | ||
| There's some people now that sell, they call them like the brand of stretchy. | ||
| They're calling them like Rogan jeans. | ||
| I know there's already a company called Rogan jeans. | ||
| Make them. | ||
| Right? | ||
| There's already a company called Rogan jeans that somebody made. | ||
| But this is like a type, like some people are selling stretchy ones. | ||
| I mean, I think stretchy is like the new thing. | ||
| Because I talk about them so often. | ||
| But yours is stretchy too. | ||
| I swear to God. | ||
| Oh, so what are you talking about? | ||
| It's all I wear now. | ||
| But you have them, so what are you talking about? | ||
| Every company has them. | ||
| They're stretchy jeans if you go to the store. | ||
| These are skinny stretchy jeans. | ||
| They've got spandex in them and it's all I wear now. | ||
| Those barbell jeans are awesome. | ||
| Dude, regular canvas jeans. | ||
| Why don't you wear a potato sack around your dick? | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| Sack is all fucking scratchy and itchy. | ||
| I won't tell you that's going to hug my fucking legs. | ||
| Show off that room. | ||
| I used to have to wear Lucky Brand jeans. | ||
| Because Lucky Brand jeans is a thicker cut. | ||
| There's a few different companies that will make a thicker cut that will fit my troll-like legs. | ||
| Well, you've got a small waist but big thighs. | ||
| Yeah, and it's my upper thighs are the highest. | ||
| That's where it's way thicker. | ||
| It's all kicking stuff. | ||
| When you do it as a child, it developed in that way. | ||
| One of the highlights of my life, and I'm a skinny guy, the highlights of my life was when I was at John Varvedo's trying on impossibly expensive jeans and couldn't fit my calves or my upper thighs. | ||
| They were just too tight. | ||
| You were so happy. | ||
| I looked at the guy in Malibu. | ||
| Your calves and your upper thighs? | ||
| I got huge calves. | ||
| I got the biggest calves. | ||
| Well, they're big for the rest of your body. | ||
| You said the biggest in the world? | ||
| But if you were a bodybuilder, I'd be stuffing them filled with oil. | ||
| Will Sasso's calves are ridiculous. | ||
| They don't even look real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bull hearts. | |
| Bull hearts. | ||
| He's got bull hearts. | ||
| It's more like a moose heart. | ||
| That would be a big one. | ||
| I got a moose heart in my fridge. | ||
| Straight up. | ||
| And it looks just like his calf. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's got a couple moose hearts stuffed into his legs. | ||
| He's a gorilla of a dude. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| He's one of those guys where you're like, boy, I'm glad he's jolly. | ||
| Because if he just started running through a room full of people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're all fucked. | |
| We're all fucked. | ||
| You included me! | ||
| You just bowled me over! | ||
| I pushed him into a room with a bunch of people who recognized him, and I pushed him into this room and I went, I'm Will Sasso! | ||
| And everybody looked up and went, yay! | ||
| And he turned and I tried to hold the door and he pushed the door and sent me into the street. | ||
| He's 330. He makes me laugh hard. | ||
| He's the funniest guy. | ||
| Will Sasso, you should have him on this podcast. | ||
| To me, him and Zach Galifianakis are the funniest people in the world just off the couch. | ||
| Didn't he do your podcast recently and bum you out? | ||
| No, he was bummed because he didn't feel well. | ||
| He was sick as fuck. | ||
| The first thing he said is, he goes, if you're a homeless person, I don't know why these guys don't grab a seagull, kick it into the ocean, break its wing, and fucking eat it right there. | ||
| They're like, alright, this is going to get weird. | ||
| He came out, he was just sick. | ||
| He's like on a bunch of antibiotics and stuff. | ||
| Will is fucking hilarious. | ||
| Will is jaw-droppingly funny. | ||
| Where did we hang out with him last? | ||
| Was it in Vancouver? | ||
| After UFC? He's Canadian. | ||
| I feel like it was at the comedy store, wasn't it? | ||
| Or in No, we went to dinner with him at a restaurant in Canada somewhere. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Was it Toronto? | ||
| Maybe it was Toronto. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Where did we do a gig together? | ||
| Was it Vancouver? | ||
| No, Toronto. | ||
| Was it Toronto? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was so much fun. | ||
| We had me that real Steve over there. | ||
| This? | ||
| No, the little bottle, brother. | ||
| Dude, I still am thinking about the show I did. | ||
| Joe let me do 50 minutes at the Chicago Theater in front of 3,500 people. | ||
| 50. That was pretty cool, man. | ||
| That was pretty cool. | ||
| That's pretty awesome. | ||
| We had a good time. | ||
| It's funny how a giant crowd like that, though, in some ways, is so different than an intimate crowd. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Timing's different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The laughter kind of rolls and you've got to wait. | ||
| Whereas, you're not aware of your effect with a huge crowd like that in the same way as you're aware of your effect with 200 people. | ||
| Have you ever sat... | ||
| You know what's a really good thing to do is sit in the audience when someone's on stage like that. | ||
| Have you ever get a chance? | ||
| I went to see Louis Black. | ||
| I was working the night after he was at a theater in New Jersey. | ||
| And me and Diaz went across the street to the theater and we sat down in the audience. | ||
| We actually got seats in a nice spot. | ||
| But it was a nice spot in the middle towards the back. | ||
| And I was amazed at how difficult it is to understand what he's saying once the laughter rolls. | ||
| Because when you're on stage, you hear your mic, you have monitors that are projecting towards you, and you're saying things, and the punchline hits, and then the people laugh. | ||
| You have to be real careful what you're saying while people are laughing. | ||
| Because it's different than a comedy club. | ||
| In a comedy club, you can just hammer over it. | ||
| There's 200 people in there, you say something that's funny, they're laughing, and you can add a tag in the middle of it and it makes it even funnier. | ||
| Joey Diaz is the master of that. | ||
| In the middle of people laughing, he'll slam Slam me with something else, and then slam me with something else. | ||
| But in a theater that's like 3,000 plus people, you have to wait. | ||
| Because when I was sitting in the audience, it occurred to me, like, oh, when people are laughing around you, it's like people yelling at you. | ||
| They can't hear. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
| What's up there? | ||
| And the speaker's way the fuck over there. | ||
| It's so interesting to me. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| Guess who's doing really well with his 10 minutes? | ||
| We do our live show. | ||
| I make him get up there. | ||
| I'm like, you're going to do stand-up. | ||
| Dude, 900 people in Chicago had him dying for 10 minutes. | ||
| I looked at his brother and go, your brother's doing stand-up. | ||
| He's done this maybe 10 times and he fucking Fucking killing it. | ||
| And adding shit in the middle of the act. | ||
| Like adding shit I hadn't seen. | ||
| Like he's playing with the crowd and reacting and then adding something else. | ||
| I was like this is fucking beautiful man. | ||
| Well it's totally different than doing this. | ||
| Like this without a crowd. | ||
| Completely different. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Completely different. | ||
| But you're always funny doing this. | ||
| Just remember what you said and repeat it. | ||
| That's all I do. | ||
| I tell a story. | ||
| Like I have different stories. | ||
| I'm just telling stories and I add stuff to it. | ||
| But going back to your point about the theater. | ||
| I'm brand new at this, so I thought everything was the same. | ||
| And Brian and I went to do the show. | ||
| It was like 700 people sold out, but it was a giant ballroom. | ||
| And Brian's like, now, don't get discouraged because you're not going to be able to hear it as well. | ||
| So I'd do some of my bits. | ||
| I could kind of hear him laughing, but it was kind of... | ||
| I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with these people? | ||
| And then when we got to the back, I was like, fuck them, Brian. | ||
| He's like, no, man, I told you. | ||
| Because I go based off the crowd's reaction. | ||
| When we get off the stage, I'm like, dude, that was a sick show. | ||
| Or, dude, that sucked. | ||
| And he's like, no, I'm telling you, you're not going to be able to gauge it off this. | ||
| Because we've been in small comedy places where I'm like, holy shit, I'm like, fucking Joe Rogan up in this bitch! | ||
| And then there's other ones where I'm like, what the fuck is going on with these people? | ||
| And he's like, it's the venue we're in. | ||
| Well, even Cobbs is kind of interesting, because Cobbs is like 400-something, and the ceiling's rather high because it has a balcony. | ||
| So the old Cobbs was crazy fun. | ||
| The old Cobbs was like, I want to say like 150 people max. | ||
| It was probably less than that. | ||
| It was really small, and it was tight. | ||
| And I used to do it. | ||
| A lot of people used to do it. | ||
| Like Don Marrero used to do it and take a loss. | ||
| He could get more money other places, but he would do cobs just because it was so enjoyable. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
| Everywhere we go, you know, I have all the famous people on the walls. | ||
| I always take pictures. | ||
| I show you pictures. | ||
| I'll, like, send you a picture. | ||
| I'm like, look who's here. | ||
| Yeah, bitch. | ||
| Big time comedian. | ||
| You know, it's like, yeah, quit sending me pictures. | ||
| I'm always like, look at my boy. | ||
| Like, you're new to the game. | ||
| I'm taking, like, selfies with you. | ||
| Like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| You've been thrown into that. | ||
| It doesn't bother me. | ||
| I think it's funny. | ||
| I'm not going, yeah, I know where you're at, bitch. | ||
| And then we had a manager go, you know, you're at the Wilbur, man. | ||
| This is months ago. | ||
| He goes, you know, just let you know where you guys are at. | ||
| So Rogan sold out four times. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| Why the fuck are you... | ||
| Yeah, okay, cool. | ||
| And Chris Rock's all at Madison Square Garden. | ||
| What's your fucking point? | ||
| What the fuck is the point? | ||
| What are you trying to hurt my feelings? | ||
| Who's saying this to you? | ||
| It's Joe, this guy, who deals with the Wilbur. | ||
| Like, it's the fucking... | ||
| It's a giant theater, man. | ||
| I'm very aware of what Rogan... | ||
| Why are you even bringing that up? | ||
| And LeBron James dunks the basketball better than me. | ||
| What's your fucking point? | ||
| Listen, bitch, I've done stand-up 34 times. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, I wish 34. How many times have you done it? | ||
| Only at live shows. | ||
| How many live shows have you guys done all together? | ||
| Probably 10? | ||
| 10? | ||
| 15? | ||
| That's it? | ||
| No way! | ||
| Guess who's going to be doing stand-up at the Wilbur this Friday in Boston? | ||
| That guy right there. | ||
| Go on up. | ||
| It's going to be, I don't know, we're selling a lot of tickets. | ||
| The Wilbur is one of the best theaters to do stand-up in, because it's a three-tier, and it's shallow, meaning the people are right on top of you. | ||
| So even though there's more than a thousand people in the room, it feels way more intimate. | ||
| It seems like a bunch of 300-seaters stacked on top of each other. | ||
| It seems like the same. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| Tickets available at tfatk.com. | ||
| Yeah, you get a feeling like a 300-seat theater, but a roar of a thousand people. | ||
| I can't It's dope. | ||
| Because then we're in New York, too, and doing our bit in New York would be crazy, man. | ||
| Well, I took Tony Hinchcoop with me to Boston, and now he's going to go back and headline that place. | ||
| He's going to do One Night at the Wilbur in October. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| See how it's like... | ||
| Yeah, that place is sick. | ||
| Yeah, it's beautiful, and it's been around forever. | ||
| That's the Wilbur right there? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That's it. | ||
| But that's a bird's eye view. | ||
| You know, it's a distorted view. | ||
| You see how the lens is. | ||
| That's gonna be great. | ||
| My favorite so far has been the Vic in Chicago. | ||
| The Vic Theater. | ||
| That's what it's called, right? | ||
| The Vic? | ||
| I love the Vic. | ||
| I think that was a Vic, right? | ||
| I think the Vic. | ||
| Chicago was 900 people. | ||
| It's like an older theater. | ||
| I'm doing some big-ass place in Chicago in July. | ||
| I love Chicago. | ||
| Where's the Chicago Bulls play? | ||
| I'm doing the Civic Opera House. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn. | |
| I'm doing an opera house. | ||
| I'm going to sing. | ||
| Damn right you are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just start it off like that. | |
| Maybe I should hire someone to sing some opera before the show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'd be sick. | |
| Can you name one opera song? | ||
| Who's the blind guy? | ||
| No, but... | ||
| Jim Jeffries does opera. | ||
| He used to be an opera singer. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| The last guy I would have thought of. | ||
| Put that photo up. | ||
| That's a really good photo. | ||
| God damn, that's sick. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| This is the Civic Opera House? | ||
| Dude, you're doing that? | ||
| You're going to fill it up, too. | ||
| It's all gold. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Looks like that Prince's room. | ||
| Dude, that should be awesome. | ||
| That's dope. | ||
| That's the Prince of Benai. | ||
| That's his room just full of whores. | ||
| That's exactly the same design on his underwear. | ||
| On his MeUndies. | ||
| Come on, you know that dude has gold underwear, right? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Why wouldn't you? | ||
| I would. | ||
| You ran up ideas. | ||
| I'm saying it right now. | ||
| I want some. | ||
| If anyone has 24-k gold underwear, send them. | ||
| I have camo underwear. | ||
| Come on, don't be like that. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Usually. | ||
| Hide them pee-pee stains. | ||
| Yeah, there you go. | ||
| Those are MeUndies? | ||
| Fuck yeah, that's all I wear. | ||
| That's all I wear. | ||
| They're the best underwear in the world. | ||
| Even if they fucking drop me as a sponsor, I'll tell you, wear those goddamn underwear. | ||
| They're fucking comfortable as shit. | ||
| You can't have camo on the outside and white on the inside, though. | ||
| Is that what you have? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wear MeUndies and I wear 5'4". | |
| They want you to see the damage you're doing to your underwear with your farts. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Let's go camo on camo. | ||
| Make a jungle camo at that. | ||
| Don't send that sand camo. | ||
| We do reads for MeUndies and he's like, MeUndies, no more light underwear, please. | ||
| I'm dead serious. | ||
| I want dark underwear, please. | ||
| Well, they sent me some cool light ones, too, though, with some interesting designs and prints on them. | ||
| All artsy and shit. | ||
| They're dope. | ||
| What I love about that company and all these companies that are emerging on the internet don't have, like, an actual store. | ||
| They're just selling things online. | ||
| Like, they figured out, like, you don't need a place. | ||
| Who the fuck wants to go somewhere? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| How easy is it to just order something, have it sent to you, and then how much of a difference is getting things in the mail these days as opposed to going to stores? | ||
| How much of an impact has that had on actual retail stores? | ||
| Brilliant. | ||
| Is there anything better than getting a package at home? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's also cheaper. | |
| It's cheaper. | ||
| This 54club.com, whatever thing, literally, it's like $60 for legit. | ||
| Everything I'm wearing is from that. | ||
| How about Club W? Have you done Club W? Great wine. | ||
| Great wine. | ||
| Way cheaper. | ||
| Thirteen bucks for really good wine. | ||
| So you're right, man. | ||
| They cut out the... | ||
| Everything we do, every one of our sponsors, I actually use the products because they're good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, me too. | |
| Me too. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| I haven't made a website yet with Squarespace, but I want to. | ||
| But the other things like Dollar Shave Club, I don't buy razors anymore. | ||
| Do you ever use that butter shit? | ||
| That Carver's Butter? | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| It's so nice. | ||
| We're trying to get the guy who started that company on because he's really funny, who does all the commercials. | ||
| Oh, Does he? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's him, the guy in the commercials? | ||
| Yeah, he was an improv guy. | ||
| Started a fucking company. | ||
| They're in Marina, too. | ||
| Yeah, we gotta get him on the podcast. | ||
| He's funny. | ||
| Well, I just love this time. | ||
| Because it's really the same thing that's what's going on with podcasts. | ||
| You guys don't need any sort of a company. | ||
| You guys kind of have a company, though. | ||
| You kind of have Fox. | ||
| I mean, not really. | ||
| Because, again... | ||
| They don't tell you what to do, but they tried. | ||
| Well, they tried when we first started. | ||
| They've been great. | ||
| They've actually been so good. | ||
| That's nice. | ||
| But they also stay out of our way. | ||
| They know if they're like, hey, don't do that. | ||
| I'm like, what? | ||
| See ya. | ||
| Do what? | ||
| That's the thing is, like, you guys have an advantageous position in the relationship. | ||
| It's not like a regular show where they could fire you from it. | ||
| If they fire you, you will have zero impact. | ||
| Zero. | ||
| It'd actually help us, because I'll just tell everyone what went down, and I will tell all the fucks dirt, and I will blast pictures. | ||
| Oh, someone's a snitch. | ||
| I'm a snitch. | ||
| I'm the Novitski fucking... | ||
| I've always been a snitch. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| Yeah, I'm that golden snitch. | ||
| The truth comes out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The truth comes out. | |
| Golden Snitch! | ||
| How long before someone fucking makes a photoshop of you in the Salt New Brunei's outfit that just says Golden Snitch? | ||
| The Golden Snitch! | ||
| That photoshopped Steve guy is gonna be on that, man. | ||
| It's happening right now. | ||
| It's happening. | ||
| That guy is sweating right now and fucking putting it all together. | ||
| No more Keto Kid, just the Golden Snitch. | ||
| That fucking Salt New Brunei picture was the perfect picture for you. | ||
| Just put your head on his little body. | ||
| That little body. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| The golden snitch. | ||
| He is a little snitch. | ||
| And they do it in the same picture that they use for the golden child. | ||
| They use the cover, the same font and everything. | ||
| The golden snitch. | ||
| The Eddie Murphy movie. | ||
| So funny, man. | ||
| I forgot about that movie. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| Arsenio Hall, back in the day. | ||
| Fucking Arsenio Hall. | ||
| That was a good movie back in the day. | ||
| That was when Eddie Murphy was in his heyday. | ||
| Dude, they tried bringing Arsenio Hall back. | ||
| His same show where he goes, who, who, who? | ||
| 2016. Bitch, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That didn't work. | ||
| Well, it was also the real problem with that not working. | ||
| There was a bunch of different problems. | ||
| They tried to do the same show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The exact same. | |
| He's even dressed the same. | ||
| Doing the same bits and shit. | ||
| And he looks the same. | ||
| Same haircut. | ||
| Sweater. | ||
| Doing some stand-up. | ||
| He's a real nice guy. | ||
| I can't say a bad word about that guy ever. | ||
| Arsenio Hall is a real nice guy. | ||
| Why doesn't Eddie Murphy do stand-up anymore? | ||
| I thought he was going to start trying to do it. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| Eddie Murphy has that tranny stuff. | ||
| The transgender prostitute stuff hanging over his head, I'm sure. | ||
| So he's afraid people will call him out. | ||
| That shit would be funny. | ||
| Dude, when I was with Charlie, people called Charlie out on it. | ||
| They were yelling out to Charlie. | ||
| Have you seen Eddie's Girl? | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Look, I... Talk about the golden. | ||
| He's goddamn Eddie Murphy. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| He did an awards show recently and he like went up and talked about Cosby and did material about Cosby and it was fucking great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It wasn't just great. | ||
| His timing was great. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| His delivery was great. | ||
| Can we see it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's online. | ||
| See, Jamie will try to find it. | ||
| It's so good that it makes you go, whoa, if this guy was doing stand-up, he would be fucking murdering it right now. | ||
| Do you think he just doesn't care anymore? | ||
| He's absolutely so rich and absolutely so busy, and he likes doing movies, and when he does movies, he's in a lot of ways, he's like sheltered from all these people that would fuck with him. | ||
| He hasn't done a movie in a while, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure make Nutty Professor 4. I don't know what he's done in a while. | |
| I haven't really been paying attention, but the amount of money that Eddie Murphy's made from all those movies that he did. | ||
| From Shrek as the donkey. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Shrek's probably the last thing he did. | ||
| He made them a billion dollars. | ||
| He lives like a sultan. | ||
| I mean, there's animators and there's a lot of story writing. | ||
| Other people could have done that, too. | ||
| It's not like it was impossible to do without Eddie Murphy. | ||
| But what he has accomplished... | ||
| I mean, financially, it's probably staggering. | ||
| Insane. | ||
| The Beverly Hills cops? | ||
| I could see him not wanting to grind. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not wanting to go out there. | ||
| When you live like the Sultan of Brunei, to bring it back full circle. | ||
| I wonder if it does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if it does. | |
| Or like Dan Bilzerian. | ||
| I'll tell you what, though. | ||
| I met him in Hawaii. | ||
| He was nice as fuck. | ||
| Eddie was? | ||
| He was really cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was real friendly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Real nice. | ||
| Yeah, there it is. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Go from the beginning. | ||
| Damn, he's aged great. | ||
| Yeah, give us some volume. | ||
| He really has. | ||
| Black people don't age, really, don't they? | ||
| Well, he's in his 50s. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| What'd you do? | ||
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said Bill has what? | |
| No, because I know there was a big outcry from people. | ||
| It was trying to get Bill to give his trophies back. | ||
| You know you up when they want you to give your trophies back Trophy back to He should do one show where he just come out and just talk crazy now. | ||
| I would like to talk to some of the people who feel that I should give back my job. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
| He's so good at... | ||
| I think he did more than that. | ||
| That was edited and censored a little bit. | ||
| Yeah, obviously. | ||
| Damn, look at all those Dave Chappelle's. | ||
| Oh, this is just a story piece. | ||
| Murphy makes Cosby jokes at award ceremony. | ||
| They didn't want to do the whole thing. | ||
| Anyway, you guys can find it, I'm sure. | ||
| What was the name of the award? | ||
| It was from the Mark Twain Awards from earlier this year. | ||
| I'm telling you, man, just looking at that thing right there, when you're talking about a guy who hasn't done stand-up in forever, and he just goes up there and murders it like that, and is in perfect form, his timing's perfect, he's a fucking fantastic stand-up. | ||
| Such a talent, huh? | ||
| Amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Unbelievable. | |
| Dave Chappelle's making a crazy run, too, again now, huh? | ||
| I see him all the time. | ||
| I see you on your Instagram. | ||
| Yeah, we hang out at the Comedy Store all the time. | ||
| He's your boy. | ||
| He's always there. | ||
| Yeah, he took me to some Eyes Wide Shut party in the middle of the Hollywood Hills. | ||
| What? | ||
| You had to get in an elevator and go to the top of this hill. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, it was Naomi Campbell had this birthday party. | ||
| And so Dave's like, hey, Joe, you want to go with me to this party? | ||
| And I'm like, dude, I don't like going to those parties. | ||
| I like avoiding celebrity things. | ||
| Like, oh, come on, man. | ||
| I gotta be back here by midnight anyway. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I go, alright, so we're smoking crazy amounts of weed. | |
| We get in my Porsche. | ||
| Go up to the top of this hill. | ||
| Get even more baked. | ||
| Get in a shuttle. | ||
| It takes you up to this dude's house, and some dude who has the sickest house at the top of the Hollywood Hill. | ||
| It's just some crazy billionaire character who has a sick house, and then above his sick house, he has a sick party house. | ||
| He has just a party house. | ||
| So you go to the top of this house, and he has this... | ||
| Fucking insane view of the city where it looks like Blade Runner, you know, and he's got just 180 degrees of windows. | ||
| His party house is like a flying saucer that just got stuck in the side of a building, but the whole outside edge of the flying saucer is all windows. | ||
| So you're sitting, there's all seats around the windows, and then he has this big bar, and I mean, the guy's just... | ||
| Because it's all loaded. | ||
| Scrooge McDuck. | ||
| And we have to take an elevator, like a four-person elevator, an open-air elevator that goes up the side of the hill. | ||
| And as we're going up the side of the hill, Naomi Campbell's naked photo is 40, 50 feet tall. | ||
| And I'm not kidding. | ||
| I'm not exaggerating. | ||
| It's this enormous naked photo of Naomi Campbell. | ||
| And then we get up to the top, and it's like fucking Demi Moore's there, and I'm... | ||
| Saying hi to Lenny Kravitz. | ||
| I'm like, this is so strange. | ||
| It's so high. | ||
| Plus, barbecued. | ||
| So high. | ||
| Barbecued. | ||
| So, so high. | ||
| I shouldn't be out in public. | ||
| And up there with all these fucking super rich people in them. | ||
| I'm like, what's up, Lenny? | ||
| Hey, what's up, man? | ||
| How you doing? | ||
| We're talking to Lenny Kravitz. | ||
| Like, how bizarre is this? | ||
| Yeah, cool dude. | ||
| Yeah, he seems real nice. | ||
| But it was all these, I was talking to all these musician dudes about MMA. It was like, I got cornered by all these musician dudes who started throwing that. | ||
| Oh my God, man. | ||
| Dude, people get so excited. | ||
| They get so excited. | ||
| They want to start talking MMA. They got a guy who knows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, meanwhile, I'm like, anything to relax my anxiety right now. | |
| I'll tell you all the shit I know. | ||
| I'll break down whatever the fuck you want. | ||
| Give me two fighters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go. | |
| You want to know who's going to win? | ||
| How do people make that much money? | ||
| 2017 schedule? | ||
| Here's the weirdest part about it. | ||
| There was one point in the night, Noemi Campbell was for a book that she has. | ||
| She has a book coming out. | ||
| She's very nice too, by the way. | ||
| Super nice and beautiful. | ||
| Still a dime piece? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| I don't know how old she is. | ||
| She's gotta be 40, right? | ||
| I would imagine she's probably closer to 50. Really? | ||
| Cindy Crawford is 50 now. | ||
| I think she's 49. I think she's a little older than that. | ||
| Naomi Campbell's 45. How old is Cindy Crawford? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's 45. I think she just turned 50. Ridiculously looking. | |
| Ridiculously looking. | ||
| She is ridiculous. | ||
| So, Noemi Camel, 45, still fucking slamming hot, right? | ||
| So anyway, she stops in the middle of this thing. | ||
| They have these photos of her. | ||
| Her book is out, and it's this exclusive book that costs like $1,500 or something. | ||
| Don't charge that much. | ||
| Really big, high, glossy, the whole deal. | ||
| Yeah, don't do that. | ||
| And she just stops, and they start taking photos of her, and she just starts posing. | ||
| So no one talks. | ||
| No one's talking. | ||
| Everyone's just watching. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're just watching her do this. | |
| Because it's a Naomi Campbell party. | ||
| So it's almost like Michael Bolton gets out at his party and starts, When I'm here! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I'd love that. | |
| Love's a woman! | ||
| I'd take it on my cell phone. | ||
| Go, boy! | ||
| But it's like that. | ||
| She's doing her thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Her craft. | |
| She's posing. | ||
| Her craft. | ||
| That's how a supermodel does it. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Oh, get it, girl. | ||
| You know, and there's just... | ||
| It was kind of a fascinating little party. | ||
| It was a good thing to dip my toe into and get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. | ||
| And realize why you don't go to those. | ||
| Yeah, well, it's just... | ||
| They're too famous. | ||
| They're too famous. | ||
| And what it is, to me, it's like, ooh, don't get that famous. | ||
| For sure, back off. | ||
| Because you're going to get weird. | ||
| Well, everybody gets weird. | ||
| They're weird people, and they have to hang out with each other. | ||
| Because nobody else is going to understand. | ||
| And I was talking to Dave about that. | ||
| I go, do you like hanging out with celebrities because they're the only people that understand what your life is like? | ||
| He's like, oh man, but I'm not as famous as them. | ||
| I go, hit the brakes. | ||
| I go, that's part of your problem. | ||
| You don't understand how fucking famous you are. | ||
| You're one of the most famous comedians that's ever lived and one of the most famous celebrities in America. | ||
| Like if there's a 100 list of the most famous people in America, Dave Chappelle's on that list. | ||
| I'm not on that list. | ||
| I like to stay on the outskirts of that list. | ||
| I like to be in the suburbs of that list. | ||
| I don't know, Joe. | ||
| I don't like being on that list. | ||
| I think you're in that list. | ||
| I'm definitely not. | ||
| You're definitely closing in. | ||
| You're closing in on it. | ||
| You ain't quitting. | ||
| I'm slowing out. | ||
| I'm slowing down. | ||
| I'm thinking about moving to Yosemite. | ||
| Don't do that bullshit! | ||
| You've always flirted with moving out of LA. Oh yeah, absolutely. | ||
| Where would you live right now if I gave you one other alternative? | ||
| There's a few different possibilities. | ||
| I really like Colorado. | ||
| I've always liked Colorado. | ||
| Colorado is always going to be one of my best choices. | ||
| You've been there, though. | ||
| I like the people. | ||
| I like the environment. | ||
| I like the vibe. | ||
| I like the stand-up community. | ||
| I like the Comedy Works, and I love Wendy, the owner of the Comedy Works. | ||
| That's the spot. | ||
| That's the spot where I could live. | ||
| I could live in Seattle. | ||
| I just couldn't deal with the winter. | ||
| I just think it's stupid. | ||
| There's no need to do it. | ||
| Folks, it rains too much up there. | ||
| Your summers are of the gods, and I get it that it makes you appreciate one when you don't have the other, but it's hard to know that all I can do is get on a jet and I can be in LA and it's perfect. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The problem in LA right now is that it's really good. | ||
| Like, comedy-wise, it's never been better. | ||
| Like, there's more clubs, there's more comics, there's more inspiration, there's more fun. | ||
| Me and Stan Hope and Ron White were hanging out at the Comedy Store the other night, drinking and laughing and having fun, and I'm like, where else can this take place? | ||
| It's like, it's so rare that you'll go there and, like, a guy like Ron White drops in to do 15 minutes. | ||
| I mean, that's really what it is. | ||
| And on the list, do 15 minutes. | ||
| Burr comes by. | ||
| All these people are all hanging. | ||
| Don't you think if you moved to Denver, your podcast would suffer? | ||
| Because you're not going to have as many big guests? | ||
| Maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I could always find out. | ||
| Who doesn't care? | ||
| I could always fly in like once a week and do it. | ||
| That would get tired. | ||
| Every week you're gonna fly someone in. | ||
| Well, no, no, no. | ||
| Well, I could definitely fly someone there if they were willing to go. | ||
| I could look for like local people, but that would run dry. | ||
| Very fast in Denver. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's no better spot than L.A. to do podcasts or any of that. | ||
| And stand-up. | ||
| And stand-up. | ||
| You can't find better. | ||
| But there's also the vast numbers of human beings that live in this place. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| Look at the numbers with Denver. | ||
| It's not the same as here, but how many people are moving there a month? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wouldn't live in Denver. | |
| It's insane. | ||
| Oh, you'd live back in the boondocks. | ||
| I'd live in like Evergreen. | ||
| I like Evergreen. | ||
| Broomfield's nice. | ||
| Yeah, Broomfield's nice, but Evergreen's in the mountains. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| There's some views in Evergreen or Boulder. | ||
| I like Boulder a lot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Boulder thing is a one-note thing. | |
| Everybody's so liberal. | ||
| They're so left-wing. | ||
| I like a little mixture. | ||
| They're too soft in Boulder for me. | ||
| Sophomore what? | ||
| Just bitches. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Just. | ||
| I remember I went to school. | ||
| I lived there. | ||
| Just bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How so? | |
| How so? | ||
| There's just, A, there's no diversity. | ||
| It's just all white, rich white people. | ||
| Just everyone's rich or your college kid. | ||
| Super liberal, rich white people? | ||
| If you see a black guy, he plays football. | ||
| Other than that, their lives, they live in this Pleasantville, this little weird bubble community. | ||
| Weird bubble. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| But. | ||
| Super nice people. | ||
| Yeah, they're nice. | ||
| Educated. | ||
| It's easy to be nice when you've got plenty of food and no threats, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The Golden Snitch! | ||
| Somebody made it already. | ||
| Did you make it? | ||
| Jamie made it! | ||
| Jamie made it while working on the show. | ||
| Jamie, you're a genius. | ||
| Incredible. | ||
| The Golden Snitch. | ||
| That might be a young job. | ||
| Jamie, please text me that immediately. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That must go on the Instagram page. | |
| The Golden Snitch. | ||
| That's Ultimate Fighter's shopface. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Those two spots are big candidates. | ||
| Please don't leave L.A. Well, I'm thinking about spending time in more than one place. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The only thing that holds me back, really, and it's not really holding me back, but having a family, you have to take them into consideration when you make any move. | ||
| You can't be bouncing them around. | ||
| Kids don't like that. | ||
| Stability, son. | ||
| That's how I grew up. | ||
| They might turn to me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I'll tell you one thing, when they turn 18, if they decide to go to college somewhere and move somewhere else, I'm a ghost. | ||
| There's no way I'm going to be doing this in 10 years. | ||
| There's no way I'm going to... | ||
| Because I don't think this city is sustainable. | ||
| I think this city is like a game of musical chairs. | ||
| And I think after a while, you're like, it's going to be Mexico City. | ||
| I've been to Mexico City. | ||
| I know what it's like. | ||
| It's overwhelming. | ||
| The amount of people, like the traffic jams are insane. | ||
| Like you go through them and you're like, how is this real? | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck about a red light or a green light. | ||
| And when they want to merge, they just have to jut themselves out into traffic. | ||
| Nobody lets you in. | ||
| And I remember sitting there, thinking there, watching this, going, here's this beautiful city, this crazy ancient city in the mountains in Mexico, like 7,000 feet above sea level, you know, just with 20-plus million people stuffed in it. | ||
| And, like, LA's not that far off. | ||
| And LA's growth from the time I moved here in 1994 to today in 2016 is unbelievable. | ||
| 22 years later. | ||
| Property values are so exciting. | ||
| I know, but that's going to happen here. | ||
| You think it's just going to keep going? | ||
| Keep going, keep going. | ||
| What's going to happen? | ||
| People are going to wise up and become awesome? | ||
| No, they're going to keep moving here because this is where show business is. | ||
| See, I'm trying to convince my dad to move here, especially because his grandson's here. | ||
| And so he doesn't see him. | ||
| I'm like, Dad, move, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It's different, though. | ||
| I mean, that makes sense, you know, to live here with, you know, you're here, your business is here, your family's here. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| I think people will move, though. | ||
| The thing is, it's so expensive to live here. | ||
| Taxes ain't funny. | ||
| Like anything else, what happens is people go, you know what, LA's great, but you know there's this place, Raleigh, North Carolina, they're really doing the building infrastructure, and people move to those places. | ||
| Nashville, Raleigh, you know, look what happened to Portland. | ||
| That secret got out, people moved there, so... | ||
| Yeah, but the secret's out. | ||
| The winter sucks. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But as you get, like, one of the things I notice is, like, I'll be in places, like that place we were in in Oklahoma slash Arkansas, in the middle of nowhere, this tiny little beautiful town. | ||
| We found the best coffee shop with the best single source, single origin, shade-grown coffee, you know, designer fucking coffee worthy of Keith Jardine. | ||
| This is the kind of shit that he gets I'm not moving there though, B. But here's the thing. | ||
| There's great places everywhere. | ||
| Small towns are not small towns from 20 years ago. | ||
| The internet is here and people are evolving and changing everywhere. | ||
| It's a different world. | ||
| You can find a lot of what you like from big cities in small towns now more and more. | ||
| More and more. | ||
| And I think that it's important to note that the only reason to be in L.A., it's kind of retro, to have all these people jammed in together. | ||
| The idea is that this is where the cool people are. | ||
| This is where we have to live. | ||
| This is where show business is. | ||
| But what kind of show business are you really involved in anymore, other than the Goldbergs? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I guess that's the last traditional thing. | ||
| No, but you're right about that, too. | ||
| And a lot of stuff doesn't shoot in L.A. But you don't want to shoot anyway. | ||
| Your stuff that you're doing, most of it is you doing stand-up on the road, or you're doing your podcast on the road, or you're doing your podcast in town. | ||
| Unless you're doing auditions. | ||
| I told you the story about me turning that thing down before the show. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| That's a gangster. | ||
| I'm not interested. | ||
| It's not as fun. | ||
| There's only so much time. | ||
| I want to bullhunt. | ||
| I want to get my own food in the mountains. | ||
| I don't want to do any of that. | ||
| Dude, shoot elk. | ||
| I want to act. | ||
| I want to hear elk go fuck hunting. | ||
| He's only waiting behind a tree. | ||
| He wants to act. | ||
| Fuck hunting. | ||
| Yeah, you say that until you do it. | ||
| Let me tell you something right now. | ||
| I take you bow and arrow hunting, son. | ||
| You get addicted to archery, I'll take you hunting. | ||
| You realize the rush of taking out an elk and then eating it and then realizing all the guilt and weird shit that you have about food, about buying it from a grocery store. | ||
| You can cut out most of that. | ||
| Everything except restaurants. | ||
| I've cut it out. | ||
| When I'm eating meat, it's all this... | ||
| It's exciting. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a challenge. | |
| You tell me when. | ||
| Nah, you're I'm in. | ||
| I wish it was a dangerous animal. | ||
| You do? | ||
| First of all, elk will fuck you up. | ||
| Are you out of your mind? | ||
| You'll go outside and look at that forest horse that I got sitting out there. | ||
| They would run from this, brother. | ||
| They might. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sweetie. | |
| Me with an arrow? | ||
| He's not going to be like, what's up, bro? | ||
| First of all, he has to know that it's an arrow. | ||
| An elk might run, a moose might run at you, motherfucker. | ||
| That's a big problem with shooting a moose with a bow and arrow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I said an elk, son. | |
| A moose? | ||
| I'm scared of a moose. | ||
| They're pretty close in size. | ||
| Mooses fuck people up. | ||
| Elk fuck people up, too. | ||
| I'm going to have to watch some videos if we're going to go. | ||
| I need to get more scared. | ||
| I need some videos of elk fucking humans up. | ||
| Most likely, they won't. | ||
| Moose are more aggressive, because moose are traditionally in climates that deal with a lot more grizzly bear, too. | ||
| Yeah, but dude, see, now, if you're talking about- Yeah, son. | ||
| And wolves. | ||
| The one animal that scares the shit out of me- There's an elk. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| There's an elk fucking up some snowmen. | ||
| That's a snow- You know what I do with that fucking thing? | ||
| But dude, look at the size of that thing. | ||
| Do you understand how big that is? | ||
| That's a thousand pound animal. | ||
| With giant swords growing out of its head. | ||
| I need a machine gun, bro. | ||
| Here's what terrifies me. | ||
| I didn't realize that grizzly bears start eating you before you die. | ||
| Ass first. | ||
| They start eating your ass. | ||
| Well, they don't kill you. | ||
| They just eat you. | ||
| You eventually die. | ||
| That's what I was going to say. | ||
| I was listening to your show. | ||
| I've always been scared of horses. | ||
| Even more now. | ||
| I was listening to your show. | ||
| I'm like, Mr. Hands, I gotta look this up. | ||
| I went to that dark web. | ||
| Found that Mr. Hands video. | ||
| Him... | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Mr. Han's a guy who likes to have sex with horses. | ||
| Well, this horse was just a little too balls deep in that asshole. | ||
| He killed him. | ||
| You don't know about this? | ||
| You talk about it on stage. | ||
| It's a great bit. | ||
| I stopped doing it. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| I didn't know. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I mean, a bit on stage. | ||
| Dude, Mr. Hands is a guy. | ||
| He would go into this place. | ||
| I did all this research. | ||
| I'm fucking weird. | ||
| But it's obviously a three-man mission. | ||
| Because the cameraman, the guy controlling that big old dick wiener, that big old horse wiener, and then Mr. Hands is like this. | ||
| And so they just line that horse up. | ||
| He puts his hooves on, and then they line that dick into the asshole. | ||
| Well, this horse was like, boom, son! | ||
| They haven't set up. | ||
| Where the guy's bending over. | ||
| It looks like bales of hay or something like that. | ||
| Or some sort of a platform that they've designed so the guy can bend over. | ||
| And then the guy puts his asshole out and they lift the horse's legs up so his feet are on the platform and the hay is hard on. | ||
| They probably jerked the horse off first. | ||
| He came in about two seconds. | ||
| That's how animals do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, kadoosh! | |
| Animals don't fuck like Lexington Steel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, but this was like... | |
| And the guy died? | ||
| No, this was like, boom, boom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kadoosh! | |
| Yeah, and the noises. | ||
| We played the noises. | ||
| We played in the Josh Zeps podcast. | ||
| We played the noises that he makes. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| But he's kind of like me. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| He doesn't die there, though. | ||
| He doesn't die there. | ||
| He died at the hospital. | ||
| At the hospital, his friends are like, you gotta go to the hospital. | ||
| He's like, no, I'm fine, because he works for Boeing. | ||
| He's like, I'm not going. | ||
| Here's the thing, though. | ||
| They don't know if that video is of the time that killed him, because apparently there's hundreds of hours of videos of those guys getting fucked by horses. | ||
| Hundreds of hours. | ||
| Now, my thing is... | ||
| What the government should do is, there's no sense in holding onto that and not making a profit off of those hundreds of hours. | ||
| They should take that, make a DVD, put it up for sale, and, you know, put the money back into the coffers of the city. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Eat them, claw. | ||
| Make some money. | ||
| I'd kind of check it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's interesting to see, because this horse's dick, it looks like this mic. | |
| It's literally this size. | ||
| It's like your arm, and I'm not kidding. | ||
| And it goes, he goes balls deep. | ||
| This horse's ball, it goes through his fucking... | ||
| Yeah, it just rips him apart. | ||
| It tore his colon open. | ||
| What'd you think was gonna happen? | ||
| Well, apparently he'd done it a bunch of times and survived. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Yeah, or done it with other animals, and then maybe the horse is what broke him. | ||
| Maybe he tried to die. | ||
| Put a safety ring on that bad boy. | ||
| Put a safety ring. | ||
| Well, the guy tries to hold onto it for a second. | ||
| Whose idea is that? | ||
| He tries to, like, you know, like a high school girl, when they first learn how to get BJ's, they hold onto it, they have, like, a little stopper? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that horse is not buying that at all. | ||
| The horse said, just the tip? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| He's like, dirt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nah. | |
| You gotta put an inflatable safety ring on that bad boy. | ||
| That ain't gonna stop that fucking mammal. | ||
| It's just weird. | ||
| It's weird because they've met online in a forum where people are turned on by animals. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They met on this forum and then decided to meet in this place that was legal. | ||
| In Washington State it was legal until recently. | ||
| As long as the animal's penetrating you. | ||
| If you're penetrating that animal, that shit's illegal, son. | ||
| Like, you can't fuck a horse, but it can fuck you. | ||
| The rules have changed since Mr. Hand died. | ||
| I guess that makes sense. | ||
| That's like that guy, Jonathan. | ||
| I'm so balls deep in it. | ||
| As soon as I listened to that, I was on the plane just researching the shit out of it. | ||
| But there's this guy, Jonathan Haidt, who's a social scientist, talking about that. | ||
| Certain things are legal, but they elicit a disgust response, even though they don't hurt anybody. | ||
| So he does this example of two things where he goes, if a brother and sister are in the woods having sex with a condom on... | ||
| There's nothing inherently harmful to both of them, but all of us go, ooh. | ||
| Or if a guy jerks off, or if a guy fucks a chicken then eats it, we all go, god damn, but it's not really, the chicken's already dead, and it elicits a disgust reaction, even though technically you can't really define why it's wrong. | ||
| Well, you said I had to bet that bit about it, about why is it okay to kill something but you can't fuck it after you kill it? | ||
| You can't do that, but if you jerked off with a chicken cutlet, I bet you wouldn't go to jail. | ||
| If somebody caught you fucking a chicken, people would be really mad. | ||
| But if you just took the breast, the chicken breast, wrapped it around your dick and jerked off, no one could say shit. | ||
| Right, but we still have this automatic disgust. | ||
| Especially if you're into ground beef. | ||
| If you take ground beef and you just take raw ground beef and you warm it up to body temperature in a plastic Ziploc bag, wrap it around your dick, and just start jerking yourself with this warm beef. | ||
| It's not a terrible idea. | ||
| Can you do that? | ||
| Are you allowed to do that? | ||
| I guess you can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can do that. | |
| You're talking about a hot pocket, what they call on the forum. | ||
| But people might not invite you to their cocktail party. | ||
| But if you get caught fucking a pig, even if the pig's having a great old time. | ||
| Like if you're fucking a pig and the pig's like... | ||
| Loving it. | ||
| Loving it. | ||
| Is that your pig impression? | ||
| This is my pig just really hitting at the right spot. | ||
| That pig is like, oh shit, baby. | ||
| You're wiggling your head, dude. | ||
| Oh shit, son. | ||
| That's illegal. | ||
| That's illegal. | ||
| Even if the pig finds you and starts backing up towards you, seeks you out. | ||
| But if you bend over and that pig's like, yo, let me get at that asshole, it's legal in most places. | ||
| Hey, let's go back to Dan Bilzerian. | ||
| No, it's not necessarily legal. | ||
| And I don't think it's legal in Washington State anymore. | ||
| No, not anymore because Mr. Hand's dying. | ||
| But it's not like a proactive, active thing. | ||
| I think it's illegal to just be engaging in sex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why, though? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Isn't that weird? | ||
| Who gives a fuck? | ||
| But that's the question. | ||
| Can you do body parts? | ||
| You know? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Well, what about the guy who paid the guy to kill him and eat him and they ate his genitals together? | ||
| They ate his dick together. | ||
| Like, technically, there was a legal quagmire there where they were like, well, the guy did put an ad out and he did want to be. | ||
| Yeah, in Craigslist. | ||
| And you cannibalized him together. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Did the guy wind up dying? | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| He wanted to be slaughtered. | ||
| Put an ad out in Craigslist and like, where was that? | ||
| To be slaughtered and eaten. | ||
| And some dude was like, ooh, I'll do it. | ||
| I'll do it. | ||
| And he's like, listen, but the deal is you gotta eat my dick first. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He's like, shit, I'll eat that dick like Kobayashi. | ||
| I'll barbecue that shit for you. | ||
| Oh, strange. | ||
| Japanese man, 22, cooks his own genitals and serves them... | ||
| No, this is... | ||
| This is a different one. | ||
| This is a different story. | ||
| That one's fucking nuts, though. | ||
| This is a guy who didn't like his gender. | ||
| He was asexual. | ||
| So he decided to cut his dick and balls off and then serve them. | ||
| Did the party know, though, or is it like Hannibal style? | ||
| No, they knew. | ||
| They were garnished with mushrooms and parsley. | ||
| They paid 160, what is that, pounds? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Per person. | ||
| Way too much, way too much. | ||
| That's what it is, way too much. | ||
| To eat his severed genitalia in Tokyo. | ||
| At least they were garnished with mushrooms and parsley. | ||
| I like mine with lemon and capers. | ||
| You get everything, though. | ||
| You get the shaft, the testes, and the scrotum. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| He cooked the genitalia himself as he was supervised by a chef. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| In a tweet, he offered to cook his penis for a guest for whatever that squiggly mark is. | ||
| I'm offering my male genitals full penis test. | ||
| He screwed him as a meal for 100,000 yen. | ||
| That's 800 pounds. | ||
| So that's roughly, what, $1,000? | ||
| A little Asian guy, though. | ||
| That's a... | ||
| Is a pound more than a dollar or less than a dollar now? | ||
| It varies, right? | ||
| It's more now? | ||
| It's worth more? | ||
| So 800 pounds is like a thousand. | ||
| He decided to split the meal between six guests, so you're not getting a lot of dick for your money. | ||
| The organs were surgically removed at age 22. I was tested to be free of venereal diseases. | ||
| The organs were of normal function. | ||
| I was not receiving female hormone treatment. | ||
| So he took the dick and balls away a year ago, a year before this. | ||
| Kept that shit on ice. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Well, that's probably going to tenderize it a little bit. | ||
| That works with elk meat. | ||
| Yeah, it depends how you let it simmer. | ||
| Depends how you let it simmer. | ||
| No, I mean, it's freezing. | ||
| You freeze it for a year. | ||
| It actually breaks down some of the tissue. | ||
| Especially that scrotum. | ||
| A lot of guys who hunt moose, they don't eat it for like six months. | ||
| Oh really, and it breaks down? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Ranella's brother told me that. | ||
| I feel like the dick would be pretty soft, like a filet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I feel sick. | ||
| It would be all fat. | ||
| I feel sick. | ||
| I feel really sick. | ||
| I know, but so... | ||
| Because I'm thinking about the six people eating this tiny dick, like calamari. | ||
| Yeah, not good. | ||
| The other guy's a different story, though. | ||
| Find out about the guy who hired someone to kill him and eat him. | ||
| Yeah, that one's different. | ||
| But there's a lot of weird dick-eating people. | ||
| Who the fuck signed you up to go to that dinner? | ||
| Are you guys going over to Ching's eat that dick? | ||
| Can you call him crazy? | ||
| Well, do you guys know about the Japanese guy? | ||
| There's a Japanese guy who killed a woman and ate her and did a little bit of time in jail and somehow or another got off or got out. | ||
| And now is a celebrity and he jokes around about eating people. | ||
| He murdered some girl and ate her. | ||
| And now he does pictures. | ||
| The Japanese culture is very different than ours. | ||
| And he does these pictures where he pretends to be biting people and eating people. | ||
| He's like a scary, strange fetish celebrity. | ||
| I'm trying to remember the dude's name. | ||
| Ozawa or something like that. | ||
| You find him? | ||
| No, I was looking for that, but you started almost... | ||
| I found this was even weirder. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| That article that damn thing's in the way. | ||
| Man slices or woman slices. | ||
| Close down at the bottom of it. | ||
| You can get rid of it. | ||
| No, you see the right below that? | ||
| Audible? | ||
| Oh my god, they're all popping up. | ||
| This is gross. | ||
| Oh my god, look at all these things that pop up. | ||
| Yeah, I feel sick. | ||
| I feel physically sick thinking of these eating dick. | ||
| Ew. | ||
| You can't get rid of that ad? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| Audible. | ||
| Oh, there it goes. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Oh, it's like a coding issue, huh? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I see. | ||
| Interesting, though. | ||
| It's going to things that you've researched, like Richard Dawkins, the God of the Illusion, Meat Eater, Sam Harris. | ||
| Woman slices off rapist's genitalia, forces him to eat it at gunpoint. | ||
| See, that's tight move. | ||
| That I'm cool with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm in her camp. | |
| Because this guy kidnapped her, he raped her. | ||
| Keep going down. | ||
| Look at that guy's face. | ||
| And then she... | ||
| Convicted child molester. | ||
| She then approached Williams, tied him up in a bit of a bridge, grabbed a knife, and castrated him. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Is that the plot of the tattoo girl? | ||
| William fell asleep after drinking massive amounts of alcohol, and Walt was able to untie herself. | ||
| And then she basically... | ||
| See, I'm with that. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| She should have killed him afterwards. | ||
| I see that bastard's junk in the microwave, grab the plate, fork, and steak knife, and cut it up like hot dogs. | ||
| Wow, and force him to eat it at gunpoint. | ||
| I grab the gun that he had left on the kitchen counter, walk over to him, force him to eat it. | ||
| I have no remorse, and I am not sorry. | ||
| That bastard deserved it, and he's going to hell. | ||
| Did she get in trouble? | ||
| I agree with her. | ||
| Eat that dick, son. | ||
| See, now that's a case where I think that girl should get a medal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Me too. | |
| Me too. | ||
| Why are we not celebrating her? | ||
| Why does she not have her own podcast? | ||
| Is she in trouble? | ||
| Find out if she's in trouble. | ||
| Hope not. | ||
| It'd be hilarious if she wasn't. | ||
| Because she didn't kill him, right? | ||
| Just fed him that dick. | ||
| That's allowed. | ||
| That should be allowed. | ||
| Well, she cut his dick off. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Well, you can't say self-defense. | ||
| Well, she was tied up, got out, cut that dick off, forced him to eat it. | ||
| Yeah, he needs to die. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Well, it's almost better he's alive now with no dick. | ||
| No, because he can still hurt people. | ||
| Good luck in jail. | ||
| You know, a lot of those guys, what they're doing is psychological. | ||
| Son of a bitch. | ||
| What? | ||
| False. | ||
| It's fake? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, damn it. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Well, the picture, I was like, well, that picture will tell. | ||
| Jamie Snopes it. | ||
| A fake news site posing as a Los Angeles area outlet KTLA spread a fabricated but juicy tale of a woman's revenge. | ||
| That was a plot from the girl with the tattoo, whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| Oh, girl with the dragon tattoo? | ||
| Yeah, that's why I was like, haven't I seen that, that rapist? | ||
| She fucked him up. | ||
| She doesn't feed him his dick, but she fucked him up and writes like, whore or whatever on his back and tattoo. | ||
| Good move. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| See, but we're all in agreement of something like that. | ||
| Yeah, we are. | ||
| You see the possibility of someone actually doing that and how you support it? | ||
| I'm 100% in agreement of that. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Brian, are you checking the tweets to see if people love you? | ||
| No, I'm not. | ||
| I'm seeing when we have to be at CAA. You guys have a meeting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What time is your meeting? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I just got a call from my agent. | ||
| I may have to listen to it real quick. | ||
| What are you guys doing? | ||
| You got some fighting the kid business? | ||
| Yeah, we're big shots right now. | ||
| Hot in the streets right now. | ||
| Victim of cannibal agreed to be eaten. | ||
| To the family next door. | ||
| Oh, this is the guy. | ||
| Seems like the perfect neighbor. | ||
| He mowed their lawn, repaired their car, even invited them around for dinner. | ||
| Other residents in the small German town of Rottenburg also believed there was nothing odd about the 42-year-old computer expert whose light burned late into the night inside his creaking mansion. | ||
| Yesterday, however... | ||
| Muse appeared in court charged with killing and then frying and eating another man. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Crazy shit, right? | ||
| Yeah, he met the 43-year-old Berlin engineer, Bern Brandes, after advertising on the internet. | ||
| And had chopped him up and eaten him. | ||
| It was, he said, something he had wanted to do for a long time. | ||
| Okay, man. | ||
| I always had the fantasy, and in the end I fulfilled it, Mews said to the court on his first day of his trial for murder in the nearby city of Kessel. | ||
| Yesterday, German prosecutors described how Mews had fantasized about killing and devouring someone, including his classmates, from the age of eight. | ||
| The desire grew stronger after the death of his mother in 1999, Prosecutor Markus Kohler said, In March of 2001, Muse advertised on the internet for a young, well-built man who wanted to be eaten. | ||
| Oh, he advertised. | ||
| So he asked if anybody wants to be eaten. | ||
| Oh, and this guy was like, I'm down. | ||
| Yeah, so it was the opposite. | ||
| In the evening of March 9th, two men went to the bedroom in Muse's rambling, tumbled farmhouse. | ||
| Mr. Brandes swallowed 20 sleeping tablets and half a bottle of schnapps before Muse cut off Brandes' penis with his agreement. | ||
| And fried it for both of them to eat. | ||
| Fried dick. | ||
| Whoa, fried dick. | ||
| Brandis, by this stage, bleeding heavily, then took a bath while Muse read a Star Trek novel. | ||
| Gangster. | ||
| The guy cut his dick off and he went and read a book while the guy bled out in a tub. | ||
| Star Trek at that. | ||
| Who reads a Star Trek novel? | ||
| In the early hours of the morning, he finished off his victim by stabbing him in the neck with a large kitchen knife, kissing him first. | ||
| Some weird shit. | ||
| The cannibal then chopped Mr. Brandis' into pieces and put several bits of him in his freezer next to a takeaway pizza and buried the skull in his garden. | ||
| Over the next few weeks, he defrosted and cooked parts of Mr. Brandis in olive oil and garlic, eventually consuming 20 kilograms of human flesh before police finally turned up at his door. | ||
| With my every bite, my memory of him grew stronger, he said. | ||
| That bitch is crazy. | ||
| Behind bars, Muse told detectives that he first consumed his victim with a bottle of South African red wine, had got out his best cutlery, and decorated his dinner table with candles. | ||
| He toasted, he tasted of pork, he said. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He added, whoa, Jesus Christ. | |
| It's not illegal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The unprecedented case had proven problematic for German lawyers who discovered that cannibalism is not illegal in Germany. | ||
| But it's murder. | ||
| Okay, so instead they've charged Muse with murder for the purposes of sexual pleasure and with disturbing the peace of the dead. | ||
| Oh shit, there's video of this. | ||
| What? | ||
| Crucial to the case is a gruesome videotape made... | ||
| Of the entire evening, during which Brandes apparently makes clear his consent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I'm trying to see that deep-fried dick go down. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I want to see what that's like. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Before setting off on his one-way journey to Rottenburg, Brandes was outwardly, at least, a successful, financially secure professional with a live-in girlfriend. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Live-in girlfriend? | ||
| Hey, bitch. | ||
| After killing Brandes, the German cannibal met five other men who responded to his internet advert, including one from London. | ||
| He did not, however, kill them. | ||
| His girlfriend broke up with him because it revealed that he liked men. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Well, he likes to eat them. | ||
| I eat dicks, girl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Is that a problem for you? | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| In July of 2001, a student stumbled over Mew's chat room and lured the German authorities who arrested him last December. | ||
| So he was, like, out running around for a while. | ||
| How long was the time between December and when he killed the dude? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There are a lot of people who might eat other people. | ||
| Holy fuck, this guy is messed up. | ||
| He ate 20 kilograms of the guy's body. | ||
| 20 kilograms is 44 pounds? | ||
| That's 44 meals. | ||
| A lot of it went to waste. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That's a 200 pound man. | ||
| He didn't eat at all. | ||
| He still had some of it. | ||
| They caught him before he could finish it all. | ||
| What does this say? | ||
| The pre-trial interview, the cannibal said that after eating Brandis, he felt much better and more stable. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| This bitch said he fantasized about having a blonde young brother who could keep forever by consuming him. | ||
| Hey man, you batshit crazy. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| Although they say that serial killers, like they get the final step is when they start eating and drinking the blood of their victims because it's their way of consuming and having complete and total power over them. | ||
| Hey, he only gets five years in jail though. | ||
| What? | ||
| How that fuck's back on the streets in five years is crazy. | ||
| Well, he's already back on the street then, because I feel like this story was five years ago. | ||
| Scroll up, Jimmy. | ||
| Longer than five years ago. | ||
| That bitch might have got out today. | ||
| They made a movie about this. | ||
| 2013. So it was three. | ||
| Oh, three. | ||
| 2003. Oh, he's out. | ||
| He's out. | ||
| He's out eating. | ||
| Yeah, Google this motherfucker. | ||
| Armin. | ||
| Google that guy and put the word released. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He looks like a guy that eat your dick. | ||
| Oh my god, he's a terrifying dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He didn't win the lottery when it came to looks. | ||
| There you go, sweetie. | ||
| Look at his fucking face. | ||
| An interview with a cat. | ||
| There's an interview with him? | ||
| A set of chompers on him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Dude, dude. | ||
| Did they make a movie about this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think so. | |
| They did? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, they did. | |
| Oh, I gotta see it. | ||
| Video original? | ||
| No way. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's the movie, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the movie? | ||
| Grim Love. | ||
| I'm not ready for the original. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| My mind's not right. | ||
| Is there a real video? | ||
| Oh, those are clay puppets. | ||
| That shit looked real though for a second. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They show that guy with his dick cut off. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Is that the real one? | ||
| Oh, that's a shoulder. | ||
| Oh, that's the real one, man. | ||
| That's him splitting the guy down the middle. | ||
| What? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, don't show people, but that's him. | ||
| That's him splitting the guy down the middle. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| That was the real pictures. | ||
| That guy hung him by his ankles and split him down the middle. | ||
| Yeah, and bled him out into buckets and shit. | ||
| Boy. | ||
| They say that the, who was the guy? | ||
| He probably hung him up. | ||
| He said he stabbed him in the neck. | ||
| That's probably how he killed him. | ||
| He probably hung him upside down and killed him. | ||
| Gotti's hitman, Richard, Ted, what was the guy's name? | ||
| Who was the Iceman? | ||
| Kuklinski? | ||
| Yeah, he said that what they would do is they would hang the body, bleed it, Yeah. | ||
| Or they would bring it to one of those car mashing places and put the body under a car, 15 other cars, and you'd just be, you know, pulverized. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Disintegrated. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I read this book called Murder Machine. | ||
| Joey Diaz gave it to me back in the day. | ||
| It was all about this guy who was a mob. | ||
| Roy DeMeo, I think his name was. | ||
| He was a mob assassin who just became a fucking complete-on, full-on psychopath, serial killer who killed God knows how many people. | ||
| Just killed people left and right for whatever fucking reason he wanted to. | ||
| And this place that they lived, this bar area where they had an apartment upstairs where they used to kill people in this apartment, they just fucking killed like a hundred people there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| He just got addicted to killing people. | ||
| And this is a book about... | ||
| Is it in his words? | ||
| Well, it's the story. | ||
| The investigators that caught him, how they caught him. | ||
| But it's a disturbing book, man. | ||
| It's one of those books where you go, whoa. | ||
| You just have to realize those people are out there. | ||
| They're out there. | ||
| They're out there. | ||
| Stuff makes me sick. | ||
| It should. | ||
| That's why we need Tim Kennedy, etc. | ||
| I can't read that shit. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| An interview with a cannibal. | ||
| Documentary sheds new light on one of Germany's most infamous murders. | ||
| And this is from 2016. This year it's on YouTube. | ||
| I was just looking at it. | ||
| So he's free. | ||
| What's the documentary called? | ||
| He was in jail for eight years. | ||
| I found out he said he became a vegetarian while he was in jail as well. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bitch, please. | |
| You can't eat dicks until we just eat veggies. | ||
| He's going to come out and he's going to start eating people again. | ||
| You're eating 40 pounds a man, then be like, nah, man, I'm not into meat anymore. | ||
| How much do you think the footage of the act itself, which was shown in a closed room during a trial, is described in the documentary as too disturbing to show and so shocking that only 19 minutes of the four-hour video was shown. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, man. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| His behavior as a child was described as, like most other children his age, he loved animals and found country life idyllic. | ||
| Well... | ||
| God, look at that fucking guy. | ||
| Some people look just crazy. | ||
| Is that the guy he ate? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's the guy he ate. | ||
| He looks stable. | ||
| That guy wanted to be butchered, huh? | ||
| Because his girlfriend caught him with men? | ||
| Is that what it was? | ||
| The flesh tastes like pork, but stronger. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| It's just amazing that he's free now. | ||
| I almost wish I could speak German so I could understand what he's saying. | ||
| Bring his dumb ass in here with a translator. | ||
| You don't want to hear it? | ||
| Well, I don't know, man. | ||
| He's not going to kill you guys. | ||
| It's almost like a, no, bring him in? | ||
| No, that's never happened. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, bring him in with a translator, like a UFC interview in Germany. | ||
| I wouldn't want that guy knowing where I am. | ||
| Well, he just knows where your studio's at. | ||
| I'd have to kill him. | ||
| Maybe we bring him here, kill him, eat his ass. | ||
| I want to start carrying two guns. | ||
| That guy's not going to kill you with a gun. | ||
| That guy's not going to kill you with a gun. | ||
| He's not going to kill you. | ||
| Everyone here can beat him up. | ||
| Yeah, if you let him kill you, he'll eat you for days. | ||
| If you give him any sort of light, like, yeah, you know, I'm kind of depressed. | ||
| He's killing you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Depression is better served with wine. | |
| But there are people in vans right now trolling around looking for someone to eat. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| There are, definitely. | ||
| I mean, it goes back to when we were talking about bathrooms and transgender people and the amount of creeps that are actually not transgender, just sexual predators. | ||
| There's a small amount. | ||
| They'll come up with an angle, a way to get into a bathroom. | ||
| There's someone in a van right now? | ||
| There's a small amount of people right now in this country, just this country, that are fighting off the urge to commit rape and murder. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Monsters, right? | ||
| You told me a white van, a group of dudes is driving around L.A. trying to... | ||
| You people. | ||
| I mean, probably not, but is there likely someone... | ||
| Look, all he has to do is one crime where someone drinks someone's blood and kills someone by biting them in the neck, and then it becomes a copycat. | ||
| People are weird, man. | ||
| I met a girl who... | ||
| We were talking and said, well, I've had trouble getting on my... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's too much. | ||
| We're ruining Brendan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're ruining him, man. | |
| I met a girl who said... | ||
| She said, now I need to move. | ||
| She couldn't get... | ||
| She'd had a tough time the last two years, and I was trying to ask her. | ||
| Finally, she said, well, my cousin was killed. | ||
| My first cousin was killed. | ||
| And I said, this guy was killing men. | ||
| He was spiking their drinks. | ||
| He would take them outside, have sex with them, and then kill them. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| There are people that just do weird shit. | ||
| They're just kind of predators. | ||
| They set their whole life up that way. | ||
| I'm aware of predators. | ||
| You guys told me there's people in vans looking around to eat people. | ||
| There's people that are fucked over. | ||
| With puppies as lures and as Cadbury eggs and Twizzlers. | ||
| That's how you get him in the fucking van. | ||
| Just put some Twizzlers there. | ||
| I thought you were done. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I am, but if you put it in my face. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| If you crack the Cadbury egg, I'm like, yo, dog, look at this. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| What's this, goosh? | ||
| Wouldn't do a goddamn thing to me. | ||
| Listen, if you're really weak, there's some chili mangoes. | ||
| Oh, you can't face me. | ||
| I haven't cheated yet, dog. | ||
| Okay, I'm just saying. | ||
| If I open that bag. | ||
| If I walked in there and you had fresh Cadbury eggs peeled from the wrapper. | ||
| What about those chili mangoes? | ||
| What if I just open one of those bags and let you smell it? | ||
| No, it does nothing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I get excited. | ||
| Alright, well. | ||
| If you had to eat five, you could only eat five foods, what would they be? | ||
| That Cadbury egg might sound free. | ||
| Five foods forever? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Well, if I was restricted to that, I would do it only based on nutrition. | ||
| So elk meat? | ||
| Yeah, I would eat something like that, like wild game meat, avocados, healthy vegetables like kale. | ||
| It would be all boring shit. | ||
| Well, elk meat's not boring, but if I can only pick... | ||
| I would have to leave it at that. | ||
| But I think if you only ate five things, you're probably going to get sick. | ||
| Unless you're supplementing yourself, you've got to make sure you're getting a proper amount of vitamin C. Yams, I'd imagine yams, kale, avocado, elk. | ||
| You've got a lot of stuff there, right? | ||
| I think people benefit more than other animals do on a variety of different foods. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| On varying their diet. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, animals have a problem with that. | ||
| Like, dogs. | ||
| Like, you can't switch up dog food. | ||
| If you give a dog one kind of food, then you give them something else, they just get explosive diarrhea. | ||
| Babies are the same way, though. | ||
| Like, if you change the formula, baby goes, what? | ||
| And shit everywhere. | ||
| Can you get too much iron from eating meat every day? | ||
| Too much iron? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| I've never heard that before. | ||
| Because I had a high iron count one time when I went and got my blood done. | ||
| Well, how much meat are you eating? | ||
| But he said, not a lot, but he said, you know what's fucking crazy? | ||
| I was cooking from a cast iron. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, and cast iron will actually... | ||
| Gives you iron in your food. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Trace iron, because that's the only... | ||
| So he said you got a lot of high ferrous levels or something. | ||
| Yeah, I cook a lot in iron pans. | ||
| It's supposed to be the best thing for you. | ||
| It's a good way to get iron. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Probably a good way for people to get iron, too, that are vegetarians, even if you eat eggs. | ||
| That's exactly what they tell vegetarians, to cook in a cast iron skillet. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good way to do it. | ||
| Because you get low iron if you're a vegetarian. | ||
| You also get a lot of creatine if you're eating a lot of red meat. | ||
| You don't need a dose on creatine. | ||
| I used to take so much creatine, but because of this diet, I eat a lot of red meat, stuff like that. | ||
| I don't take any creatine. | ||
| So you're doing your ketogenic, right? | ||
| Yeah, I think creatine is a legit supplement. | ||
| It's one of the few legit supplements that actually does really increase your strength. | ||
| I've been taking it. | ||
| And recovery. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It's legit. | ||
| You know, a lot of these things, it goes back to the Yoel Romero thing, and even the Jeff Nowitzki thing, a lot of the stuff that we see in these stores, like GNCs and health stores that have these muscle-building things, a lot of those things are really steroids. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| A different form. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Like, wow. | ||
| That's why guys keep pissing hot from them. | ||
| The USADA has a website that we, when Novitski was here, he sent us to the website, and you go like A through Z, you find whatever the supplement is, and you list to see whether or not people have been popped for it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, they test, and they pull these things off the market, and they just come back with some new name. | ||
| They switch up molecules. | ||
| Remember Mark McGuire, the stuff he was using, you could buy at GM. Androstein, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I took that shit. | |
| For a long time. | ||
| I took that shit. | ||
| Yeah, you could buy all that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was okay. | |
| Was that a steroid? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, sort of. | ||
| It was a steroid hormone precursor, but here's the deal. | ||
| He wasn't taking that. | ||
| Well, hold up. | ||
| He was taking straight up steroids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was taking that and fucking whatever. | |
| I don't even think he was taking that. | ||
| I bet he popped him for the fuck of it just to see how he felt. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| But he was injecting straight testosterone like this in his neck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That Andrastine Dion worked a little. | ||
| Jason Giambi, Sammy Soho. | ||
| Do you see how big... | ||
| It's been a lesson to me where I look back and I realize when you play sports and you live weights, nobody's 240 pounds and just that jacked. | ||
| Some people are. | ||
| Some people are. | ||
| A lot of professional athletes are. | ||
| But you don't go from being... | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But you don't go from being 185 when you're 25. If you see a big dramatic difference, especially if they're like a veteran, yeah, something's up. | ||
| But there's a You can achieve some incredible results with discipline and the right protocol with hypertrophy. | ||
| You could eat a lot of food all day long and lift crazy weights. | ||
| And when you're young, if your body holds up to the workload, you can put on some massive weight when you're young. | ||
| When your hormones are strong, if you do it the right way, like say if you had like a strength lifting coach and you said, hey, I want to gain 20 pounds of muscle. | ||
| If you had to do it right now, they would go, oh, we got to fuck with your hormones. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, you're too old at this point. | ||
| I've been told that, yeah. | ||
| But if you were 20 and you did the same thing... | ||
| It's a possibility. | ||
| It's a possibility. | ||
| Also, you probably have to have a body type. | ||
| I don't really think I could do... | ||
| You know, it's hard for me to put on any muscle. | ||
| Maybe, but you're not a guy who's ever tried. | ||
| If you're young, you have a strict program. | ||
| You're not frail. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're not skinny. | ||
| I don't call you skinny. | ||
| You're not a weightlifting guy, though, right? | ||
| I do lift, but not like that. | ||
| How often do you lift? | ||
| Probably twice a week. | ||
| Twice a week is fine. | ||
| When you lift, do you lift heavyweights? | ||
| I try to. | ||
| I'm a failure at six. | ||
| 8, you know, I don't know if that's heavy. | ||
| But your guy's doing more of a cardio, like, circuit, right? | ||
| Like, you're not working out with that guy. | ||
| Like, you're not doing, like, heavy deadlifts, squats, bench. | ||
| Well, I'll do, like, lately, like, I'll go from deadlift to pull-ups, you know? | ||
| And the deadlift is, by the 8th one, I'm hurting, you know? | ||
| But, again, I'll do that once a week, you know? | ||
| And then I'll do maybe some bench with, like, 60-pound dumbbells. | ||
| And then I'll do front squat. | ||
| You're also 49. Yeah, I'm also 49. Well, you know, one of the things about Pavel Tatsulin, his interview with Tim Ferriss, he was talking about his dad getting involved in powerlifting when he was in his 60s. | ||
| He taught his dad powerlifting when his dad was in his 60s, and like six, seven years later, he put on X amount of pounds of muscle, and he said he looks like a 40-year-old man now from, like, if you see his back. | ||
| And he didn't do any supplements? | ||
| I think if you did power... | ||
| Look at my skeptical hippo face. | ||
| Get the fuck out of my face. | ||
| Skeptical hippo? | ||
| I didn't know about skeptical hippo. | ||
| Oh, you've never seen skeptical hippo? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Jamie, bring that up. | ||
| Bring that up, Jamie. | ||
| Jamie, bring that up. | ||
| Yeah, it's really funny. | ||
| Jamie, bring that up. | ||
| By the way, powerlifting is good. | ||
| If you do it right, I think it's probably good for your hormones and good for your body. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I feel good when I lift heavy. | ||
| I have more energy that day. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| It releases testosterone. | ||
| And the next day. | ||
| Yeah, it's good for you. | ||
| Well, what Pavel thinks is skeptical. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When you told me that six-year-old put on LBs, that's my face right now. | |
| That's fucking hilarious. | ||
| You've never seen some of the more skeptical. | ||
| What he was talking about, what Pavel was talking about was his protocol, which is that never more than five repetitions and never go to failure. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, his idea is that if you, say if you lift something and like the most reps you can do is like seven, cut it off at five and put it down. | ||
| And that strength is a skill. | ||
| And then you want what he calls greasing the groove, like doing something over and over again, giving yourself plenty of time in between it so that you're strong, you're fully recovered, and you'll get stronger and you'll get stronger faster. | ||
| Who's this guy? | ||
| Pavel Tatsulin. | ||
| He's the... | ||
| Godfather of kettlebells, the guy who came to America and started kettlebell programs. | ||
| All kettlebell instruction pretty much came out of that guy. | ||
| Does he live in LA? Yes, he does. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, he does. | ||
| He lives in Santa Monica, I believe. | ||
| I would pay him to work out. | ||
| The back of 75-year-old deadlifter. | ||
| 100% drug-free. | ||
| That's his dad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, I mean, who knows? | ||
| I mean, maybe his dad's some fucking savage. | ||
| Maybe some freak. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm for sure gonna need him to piss in this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hey, uh, golden snitch. | ||
| Get on it. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Oh, a piss test. | ||
| When you work out with a guy like that guy, how long does that work out? | ||
| Is it an hour? | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| If you're doing all that rest... | ||
| Well, what I do is, what I've been doing over the last few weeks since I listened to this podcast is, because I have stuff at home, I have a little gym in my house. | ||
| So what I'll do is I just start working out. | ||
| Well, not even in the garage. | ||
| Inside the house, I have a weight gym. | ||
| So I'll go and I'll just lift weights during the day and then I'll do it later at night. | ||
| I'll lift weights. | ||
| I'll go home now and I'll do a few sets of chin-ups and some kettlebell swings and curls and cleans and stuff like that. | ||
| Then later that night, I'll do clean squat press. | ||
| I'll do some different shit. | ||
| And I'll do my sets throughout the day like that. | ||
| You're splitting it up. | ||
| Yeah, instead of smashing it in. | ||
| But my cardio, I still do in one big set. | ||
| So what I like to do for cardio is I like to lift weights first and get really fucking tired. | ||
| Then, once I'm really tired, I do, like, balls-out cardio for a half hour. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| So I'm already exhausted. | ||
| It's, like, more of a mental thing. | ||
| Hitting mitts for me is my cardio. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| Yeah, it's great cardio. | ||
| I've been getting my cardio in with my lifting, so I'll do, like, heavy deadlifts, and the set is whatever, a set of 10 of heavy deadlifts. | ||
| I go straight from there to the treadmill, and I'll sprint as fast. | ||
| As fast as I can for a minute. | ||
| On like level 10, 11, 12. Literally as fast as I can. | ||
| And I go to pull-ups. | ||
| I just do that for five rounds. | ||
| What's heavy deadlift for you? | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| 315 if I'm doing 10. That's a lot. | ||
| Because you do five rounds, it's a shit. | ||
| It gets exhausting. | ||
| Yeah, that only makes sense. | ||
| Heavy deadlifts, for me, cardio-wise, it wears me the fuck down. | ||
| Nothing feels better for me. | ||
| I do the crossbar where I stand in the middle of it, and I do deadlift with that. | ||
| That, to me, is always my go-to. | ||
| Well, they say specifically that bar, like using that trap bar for deadlifts, is one of the best ways to excite your entire system. | ||
| One of the safest, too. | ||
| One of the safest, but it's also like you're gripping it, the way you're gripping it. | ||
| There's something weird about that over-under grip that you do with a standard dumbbell, and then you bang it off your shins and straighten your back up. | ||
| But this motherfucker is right in the groove, so you can have really excellent posture. | ||
| It puts less of a load on your lower back, and you could really fucking stack up with some heavy weight. | ||
| You can do some cool stuff with it, too. | ||
| Farmer's walks. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I was thumbing through a book called The Supple Leopard. | ||
| How to Become a Supple Leopard. | ||
| Kelly Starrett. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That looks really cool. | ||
| Do you see what D'Elia did? | ||
| D'Elia didn't know who Kelly Starrett was. | ||
| He didn't know Kelly Starrett is a famous strength and conditioning guy. | ||
| He just saw a ridiculous photo of him. | ||
| He does look ridiculous. | ||
| So he did this long... | ||
| You know, D'Elia has a hilarious Instagram. | ||
| Oh, I saw that. | ||
| I saw that. | ||
| He has these long, huge run-on sentences of how fucked up these guys are. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And he did it with Kelly Starrett and it's one of the funniest things he's ever done. | ||
| Look at that photo. | ||
| Look at what he said. | ||
| I mean, this dude, I can't stop laughing. | ||
| Does he know the camera can zoom out and he can put his head regular? | ||
| It looks like he's trying to peek into the lens saying, you guys fucking or can I come in? | ||
| He just keeps going on and on and on and on. | ||
| This is the most peeking-est motherfucker ever. | ||
| Even Tom is like, he peeks more than me. | ||
| He says, I'm dying. | ||
| This guy looks like he hurt his neck five seconds ago. | ||
| It's really funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look how long you go. | |
| Yeah, it keeps going and going. | ||
| I didn't want to read it all. | ||
| But he said, this is the look that you give a guy when you're fucking his wife after he fucked your wife. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so stupid. | |
| He's so funny. | ||
| I retweeted it, but please go to Chris's account. | ||
| Go to Chris D'Elia and see it. | ||
| That's another funny motherfucker. | ||
| Oh, he's hilarious. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He's another good dude, too, man. | ||
| It's nice having him around the store. | ||
| He's fun. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
| He's one of my favorite people. | ||
| That store is on Facebook. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fire! | |
| You know what else is on fire? | ||
| The Fighter and the Kid! | ||
| This weekend, live in Boston, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| The Wilbur Theater. | ||
| That's right, the Wilbur. | ||
| The Truckadero! | ||
| The Truckadero! | ||
| In Philly and Saturday as well. | ||
| And don't forget, Zaney's in Nashville. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tomorrow. | |
| But we might be sold out or almost. | ||
| We're in Nashville tomorrow. | ||
| Sold out in New York, but not sold out at the Wilbur. | ||
| You guys are in Nashville tomorrow? | ||
| For the Vince Vaughn Comedy Tour. | ||
| Dude, I'm there on Friday. | ||
| How long are you guys there for? | ||
| Just one night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One night. | |
| Then we go to New York, then we go to Boston, then we go to the Trocadero in Philly! | ||
| I wish I was there with you guys. | ||
| Me too, man. | ||
| We should organize some gigs, at least in the same town together. | ||
| Have you done Helium in St. Louis? | ||
| I've only done Helium in Portland, which is fucking outstanding, and Helium in Philly, which is one of the best clubs the world has ever known. | ||
| I'm doing their club in St. Louis June 9th, 10th, and 11th, so get your tickets. | ||
| I'm a big fan of Helium. | ||
| I like that website. | ||
| Who did that website? | ||
| My brother. | ||
| Your brother's a website designer? | ||
| Dude, his brother's a genius. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| He does all my online stuff. | ||
| Your brother makes websites? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Does he do it professionally, or does he just do it for you? | ||
| No, he just did it for us. | ||
| How long did it take him to do this? | ||
| He uses Squarespace, too. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Does he? | ||
| This is Squarespace? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yeah, my brother's a beast. | ||
| This is really good. | ||
| Yeah, super beast. | ||
| He did a great job. | ||
| The photographs in the background are awesome. | ||
| All our merchandise. | ||
| Where'd you get that hat? | ||
| That's from a photo shoot. | ||
| An Abraham Lincoln karate movie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Uh-huh. | ||
| You're goddamn right. | ||
| Abraham Langer, vampire slayer. | ||
| So, I guess we covered the UFC. I knew this wasn't going to be a UFC podcast. | ||
| We kind of did. | ||
| We watched some of the big fights. | ||
| We talked about it. | ||
| I just still don't want... | ||
| I want to know... | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| D'Elia sent me a text, totally unrelated. | ||
| Like, didn't know that we were doing a podcast. | ||
| Probably didn't know we were even talking about him. | ||
| And he sent me a text... | ||
| About Kelly Starrett retweeting that thing thinking it's hilarious. | ||
| And he said, guy seems cool. | ||
| I love that shit when people get jokes. | ||
| So D'Elia just sent me this. | ||
| Psychic connection, man! | ||
| But that's what's crazy is that picture that I put up was days ago. | ||
| And the fact that he said it literally texted me while we were talking about it. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Dude, it's spooky, man. | ||
| Owned by Crystalia. | ||
| It's like fucking chemtrails! | ||
| The Earth is flat! | ||
| He got owned. | ||
| He got owned by Crystalia. | ||
| The Earth is flat. | ||
| Yeah, but Kelly's a good guy. | ||
| He's hilarious. | ||
| He doesn't take pictures. | ||
| He knows his shit, too, huh? | ||
| Well, I don't think... | ||
| I mean, he's probably in the middle of a video and someone took a still of it and used it as a photo. | ||
| Or he was like, make sure you get this angle. | ||
| He's doing, like, mobility stuff. | ||
| He knows his shit, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, fuck yeah. | |
| He's the guy that came up with the idea of using those hard balls, like lacrosse balls, to loosen up muscles. | ||
| Oh, it's the best. | ||
| There's a lot of good information out there, man. | ||
| Fuck yeah, there is. | ||
| More than ever before. | ||
| I'm going to get huge with that Russian guy, and I'm going to be a fucking big leopard. | ||
| A big, supple leopard. | ||
| Yeah, well, he's all about mobility. | ||
| He's a big mobility. | ||
| It's all about having a full range of motion, flexibility, and full range of motion with all your tissues. | ||
| Nothing being tight and wound up. | ||
| And so he's all about like breaking up scar tissue stretching yourself out making sure that you're you're strong and all these different areas You don't create these vulnerable. | ||
| Ryan you should hit him up and spend a lot of time with them Well, my neck I fucking into the same muscle in my neck man Every once every three months start jerking guys off stop sucking them up. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Just something about head movement Oh, fuck your head. | ||
| Just tell him school fuck you. | ||
| I've been happy. | ||
| I'm happy to blow you all these years As long as he doesn't butcher me and eat me afterwards We had a guy I got a guy. | ||
| I got a guy. | ||
| We'll fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He kissed the guy in the face right before he stabbed him in the neck. | |
| What a gem of a person wandering around Germany. | ||
| Sweetie. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He needs to dress him up like a... | ||
| Just die. | ||
| We're all gonna die. | ||
| We gotta get him on the show. | ||
| Dress him up like an infidel. | ||
| Send him into the Muslim neighborhoods. | ||
| For reals. | ||
| This fucking podcast is over! | ||
| TFATK.com. | ||
| Brendan Schaub on Twitter. | ||
| Brian Callen with a Y on Twitter. | ||
| And see you fucker soon. | ||
| Thanks everybody. | ||
| Bye. | ||
| Oh, I'll be back tonight. | ||
| Podcast at 9pm with Bobcat Goldwaite. |
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