Joe Rogan and Ian Edwards dissect absurdities like LA’s pizza-delivery zoning laws and the futility of a border wall, mocking El Chapo’s mile-deep smuggling tunnels while Joe notes his parents’ seamless cross-border life. They link athletic dominance—Brazil’s soccer/MMA culture, Roger Gracie’s endurance—to survival-driven training, debunking size myths via outliers like Gennady Golovkin or Uriah Hall’s knockout precision. Rogan slams Trump’s divisive tactics (Cinco de Mayo tweet, border wall lies) and outdated U.S. laws, framing money as "voodoo" while comparing modern struggles to the Great Depression’s starvation. The episode reveals how systemic flaws and cultural narratives shape everything from sports to politics, ending with a jab at soccer’s simulated falls versus MMA’s raw dominance. [Automatically generated summary]
And the style of satchel is important too, because if you've got a satchel that's in any way stylish, then you can't just be wearing Converse All-Stars and a t-shirt.
You have to wear hipster clothes.
You have to have rolled up cuffs, and you have to have a nice tie-up leather shoe.
We're trying to eradicate all the dangerous parts that are left.
The dangerous parts that are left, particularly in America, they're so highlighted now.
It's one of the reasons why I think Chicago and Baltimore and Detroit, and when we find out the murder statistics for all these cities, one of the things that freaks us out is that for the most part, most of this country is as easy going and soft as it's ever been, ever.
So when you see some crazy violence, like in a YouTube video or WorldStarHipHop or something like that, LiveLeak.
Like, getting a girl to like you, guys will do all kinds of ridiculous, artificial shit, pretend to be a certain way, pretend to behave a certain way, but when it gets down to it, You know, you get to know them.
It takes a long time to chip away from that stuff.
So when someone says something that's like, cliche, ridiculous, or along those lines, you gotta think like, oh, this person just running their game.
I wish I could remember because I caught it on television and I caught it when it was already started, you know, just flipping through the channels like, what is this?
And I don't remember.
But what I do remember was that there was an article that I had read as well about this one guy who was a forgery guy, but in a weird way.
What he would do is he would make a fake version, a new piece of art, but from that artist's style.
And this guy apparently was making fucking millions of dollars in Europe with this.
I'm pretty sure, because I was really confused as I was watching it, because he and his wife both got, they were both arrested, and both were serving prison sentences, but they were allowed out during the day to go work.
Which, in a way, is kind of more honorable a form of forgery.
I mean, if you're gonna go down the fucker food chain to recreate...
A piece of art is probably more honorable or to create your own version of this person's art is probably more honorable than like if you had a painting and I'd made an exact duplicate of it.
We were talking about that last night, Tony Hinchcliffe and I, because he was talking about people that Get to a certain point in their career and then they wind up fucking things up.
But I find like if you focus on the stuff that you want or where you want to get to and you have tunnel vision, then you'll be fine and you'll get there.
Like instead of creating all this wasting time, taking the time away from your creativity, thinking about what people are thinking about you and all that stuff and just focus on like, I need to make this joke work, this joke work.
I need to do this.
I need to do that.
Everything that gets you that step further, you know?
Well, I think there's patterns of thought that are really easy to fall into.
They just seem natural.
And one of them is when there is something that's in your way, and you're trying to figure out why it's in your way, you start concentrating on some of the aspects of it that are out of your control.
Like, you know, how come they don't like what I do, but they like what she does?
Or how come, you know, this is happening?
How the fuck did this guy get this?
Instead of...
Try to figure out how to get so tuned into what you're doing that you don't concentrate on what they don't want.
You just concentrate.
How many times did I clear my fucking throat?
I gotta stop drinking this butter coffee.
It fucks up podcasts.
It does, right?
I'm a little too...
A little too much, but it's hard to say.
I mean, it's easy to say it's hard to do.
It's hard to actually get your mind into a place where you're concentrating on only what you're trying to do, especially in the beginning of your career where you're trying to get out there and get booked and nobody wants to book you.
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Some dude was bitching about that at the Comedy Store the other night.
He was talking about How nobody's helping him out and all these other people are doing well, but it seems like it's bullshit and the system is stacked against him.
You know, most of those guys are just trying to have a good time.
But...
So Tom goes on these morning TV shows, and now he has a character, and his character is a rapper, and he's got a chinchilla scarf on and a giant fat gold rope, and he's wearing his sunglasses.
With his Cincinnati hat on.
And he plays this character now.
And he just says a bunch of crazy shit.
And to him, so much more fun than actually trying to have a...
So, Tom, where'd you start comedy and when did you know that you were gonna be a funny man?
Instead of that, he, you know, he does this.
unidentified
So the announcement.
The big announcement, the big announcement I wanted to make is that last year, you know, I came out as poly and bi, and now I'm proud to say that I'm non-binary.
What is that?
Is there more to this?
Because I'm confused.
Oh yeah, so most people fall within the male and female binary, and then I'm non-binary, so I don't fall into either one.
I'm actually fluid binary, meaning that depending on the moment, I kind of go between different genders.
So like today, I'm astral gender right now.
I'm a gender from outer space.
As two hosts who couldn't find a door yesterday to get into a place, we are totally lost.
It's a pretty big thing to come out as non-binary.
And then you also would have to deal with the fact that if you did it on Monday, Tuesday, if you did it every day like that, your body would get accustomed to getting high.
So you'd probably get less high as the week goes on.
Some people say that you get accustomed to different strains.
That's Joey Diaz, though.
unidentified
Joey Diaz, listen, dog, I smoke different shit every day.
I don't want these motherfuckers getting used to me.
L.A. Speedweed's the way to go, ladies and gentlemen, if you're in Los Angeles.
Los Angeles is the most ridiculous thing in the world because they're trying to stop that, and they're trying to stop it in some sort of a zoning way.
What they're trying to say is, because he's delivering it, where he's selling it becomes a place of business.
So it has to be zoned in a certain way.
This is the argument.
Which is ridiculous, because how would fast food restaurants deliver?
How would Domino's deliver?
Because these places aren't zoned for being restaurants.
If someone just shows up at your house with a pizza, your house doesn't have to be zoned for being a restaurant for him to show up at your house with a pizza.
But if someone shows up at your house selling weed, And you live next to a school.
It becomes problematic.
It's interesting.
It's an interesting argument.
It's going to go away because it's silly.
But it's going to cost a lot of people some money.
And probably Gino from L.A. Speedweed is going to cost him some money.
That's one of the reasons why New York City is such a good place to live.
Because everybody integrates.
Because New York City, everybody's on the subway, everybody's walking on the street, and everybody's around everybody.
One of the weird things about LA in general is that it's a car culture, and you're in your little isolated box, and you drive to your little isolated community, and then you go back and forth from work to wherever you hang out, and those are your spots.
And you don't interact with other people face-to-face, person-to-person on a daily basis.
It's super important, too, because one of the things that I think everybody who I know who used to be poor...
Ron White and I were talking about this the other night.
When you haven't made it, when you're broke, you always feel like It's never gonna happen.
You always feel like it's completely out of touch.
Like, I'm poor.
I'm always gonna be poor.
This fucking struggle's never gonna go away.
But when you're around people who used to be poor too, but they figured out how to do it, you go, oh, they're just a fucking person.
You know and when you see some dude and he's in some corner office and some giant-ass building and he's a CEO of the company You can't imagine that at one point in that guy's life He was fucked up like at one point in his life.
He's depressed and lost and failing in school and couldn't figure it out You know and was wondering about his future, but almost everybody has Lowe's most everybody has Almost every successful person that I've ever met had some crazy adversity early on.
They figured their way through that, and then they figured out how to become successful, partially even because of that.
So when you're on a train and everybody's all together, I think it's one of the best ways to keep that separation, that us and them separation, with the classes especially.
Because...
That's a real fucking mindset of rich people and a real mindset of poor people.
That they're just two different groups of us.
But it's so stupid.
It's just a bunch of people and they're on the same journey that you're on in a different direction, just maybe a little bit further down the road.
Or maybe they didn't stop as many times as you did.
Maybe they didn't get flat tires.
Maybe they didn't, you know, have as many potholes in the road.
But we're all just on this fucking same thing.
We're all just people.
So when you look at some dude, you know, and you're poor, and you got holes in your sneakers, and some guy's got a Rolex on, and he's wearing this expensive suit, and he's got cufflinks, and he's checking his newspaper and reading the Wall Street Journal, and you look at his expensive shoes like, this motherfucker's got some money, man.
Best teams in each league in each country playing a tournament to be the best club team in Europe.
So Bayern is the number one team in Germany.
Athletico, they're number two, number three.
Right now, they're actually in the number two spot right now.
But last year, they finished maybe second or third.
And they have less money.
But their coach is an ex-Argentina player, and he figured out a system where they just hustle.
They just out-hustle you.
You get the ball, and there's three motherfuckers on you, and you're gonna cough it up, and they're gonna get it, and they'll score one or two goals a game, and that's enough.
And Bayern is just so really skilled that they might be able to...
They beat most teams, but Atletico is just so disciplined that they knocked them out.
And they're going to the Champions League final versus Real Madrid.
So there's two Spanish teams in the Champions League final, and both of them are from the same city.
So it's like the Lakers versus the Clippers for the best...
There's a Real Madrid basketball team and they wouldn't want to play against like any NBA team because they would get destroyed the same way they would beat our soccer teams.
But the United States plays Spain in like World Cup type competition.
And we also have something like that where it's a CONCACAF And it's like United States versus Mexico versus some of the smaller Latin American countries.
But isn't it fascinating that there's a clear winner as far as like who's the best?
Still, when what is basketball really?
It's moving your feet, which everybody knows how to do, throwing a ball, which most people know how to do, dribbling, and then learning how to get super awesome at all those skills, right?
That doesn't seem like...
It's not like something where someone has to teach you, some master strategist who's like the greatest in the world has to teach you.
That's almost been one of the things that held him back.
Dana White had criticized him of it.
He said he's so talented, but he's almost too nice for fighting.
I don't think that's true.
I think he just needs more fights, but he's got a big one with Anderson Silva.
It's a big crossroads fight.
It shows where Anderson's at, because if Anderson can get past Uriah, who's one of the best 185-pounders alive right now, Uriah is a lightning-fast striker.
But, you know, we're talking about Anderson Silva at 40 years old versus Anderson Silva at like 34. But Uriah, he's got traditional martial arts skills at a super, super high level.
He does a lot of stuff like spinning back kicks and wheel kicks and knocks guys out with him.
And real high level guys.
Like he hit Gegard Mousasi.
There's Uriah.
He hit Gegard Mousasi with a spinning back kick to the face.
And it was a fight that we were calling for Fight Companion.
And my thoughts on him, I was like, I'm telling you, this guy can do things in these explosive movements.
And I'm like...
I'm so used to seeing people move.
You know, I'm so used to seeing the way people throw kicks, the way people throw punches.
When someone's movements stand out, like, ooh, Jesus Christ.
Like, they've got it honed down to a razor's edge with just lightning precision.
It just really stands out.
And that's Uriah Hall.
Uriah Hall has these movements occasionally where he'll just drop a right hand on someone's chin and you just go, whoa!
Like, that guy was not moving.
By the time that punch got to him, he had no idea that punch was coming.
I mean, his ability to close the distance with a shot is so fucking scary.
So it's an interesting fight in that regard.
And I don't think it has, does it have their age there?
He's 40, so whatever back is, it's not going to be the same back.
But if you look at a guy like Bernard Hopkins, Bernard Hopkins, who's an incredibly skillful, technical boxer, is still, at this day, like there's a video of him working out the other day, he was hitting mitts.
He looks...
Fucking great.
He's 50 years old.
He looks fucking great.
Like Bernard Hopkins right now at 50 years old could get in the ring and school solid 50% of the professional light heavyweights in the world.
If you watch his footwork in the ring, it's always measured.
It's always under control.
He always knows exactly what he's doing.
And when he doesn't know exactly what he's doing, he resets.
He's not winging anything.
He's not taking any stupid chances.
What was that?
The dude he beat for the title at 49 years of age was this fucking young stud.
This guy was like 32 years old, some Russian dude, bad motherfucker, and he dropped him.
Bernard dropped him at 49 years of age.
And people were like, God, and then he fought Kovalev.
And that was the fight that showed there's a difference between the highest of the high level right now and where Bernard is right now with his life, being 49 years old.
Because Kovalev was just too much for him.
And Bernard went into a shell.
And just fought real defensively and tried to survive, but Kovalev was opening up on him.
Kovalev is fucking scary.
That guy's the real deal.
There's a lot of badass fucking Russians these days.
Like, this is like the sport where, like, a lot of sports, a lot of poor people come out and they get to the top of it, but you could tell where it's poor Where the poorest people are based on who's the best boxers in the world.
I think maybe he had one fight that went in the distance, or maybe a couple fights that went the distance, but he's on some ridiculous knockout streak in a row.
But I mean, this is a guy who is another one, probably a direct descendant of the Mongols.
There were so many fucking super warriors that came out of that DNA. And you look at a guy like Provodnikov, I mean, he just screams like ancient warrior DNA. I mean, look at him.
Look at his face and the way he fights.
You gotta hit that dude with a fucking crowbar to hurt him.
Matisse, like, it's a weird, like, you look at the guy and you say, okay, obviously he looks like he's in shape, he looks athletic, but he doesn't look like a big power puncher, right?
So do they get a guy like that and they say, well, we're going to take him in and then we're going to get our coaches on him and we're going to show this guy how to reach his full potential.
Now, is it a benefit just having the big guy there because they can do things and block people and get in the way and make it difficult for the other team to use their offense?
But he's 125 pounds, and the way he moves, I always wonder, could a 200-pound guy move like that?
Could a 255-pound guy move like that?
Is it even possible?
When you look at the super athletes that are in the NFL, and I think we can all agree, the most explosive, best athletes are in the NFL. Agreed?
Pretty close.
I mean, I think there's probably some really high-level guys in MMA at this point, but I think that overall the most explosive high-level athletes are in the NFL. If you can get one of those NFL top guys, could you teach him to move like Mighty Mouse?
If you started with him at a young age, or is it a gravity thing?
Is it that the 125-pound guy, he can just do stuff with his joints and his movement that the 260-pound guy just physically, his body can't keep up?
Todd Marinovich was a famous football player, and his dad, Marv, was a famous strength and conditioning coach, and a football coach.
So his dad took Todd from the time he was really little, had him eating only healthy food, no sugar, working out like crazy, put him through all his drills, and turned him into this super athlete.
But he rebelled because it was just too much pressure and work.
So if you could take a Herschel Walker and train him, get him to a guy like Matt Hume, who trained Mighty Mouse, and train him from the time he's a young man, like 15, 14 years old.
I mean, he was one of the greatest football players of all time.
I mean, think about, I mean, if you made a list, and I'm not a football fan, but if I know you, And you never got arrested and you never raped anybody, you must be pretty fucking awesome.
Like if it wasn't some giant controversy where you were involved in like a Ray Rice type situation and a murder or something like that, if it wasn't that and I hear about you...
Yeah, it's always, to me, as someone who analyzes athletics, it's always so confusing and interesting when I see someone who's just so much better than everybody else.
Now the Premiership works different than the NBA. The NBA... All the teams stay the same every year.
In soccer, there's 20 teams in the league, and the bottom three would go down to the league below at the end of the year.
If you have the least amount of points, the three teams go down, and there's a league below where the teams that finish first, second, and third come up.
So that's important because Leicester is a team last year that almost got relegated to the league below.
So they almost got relegated.
It was like everybody's like, this team is going down to the lower division.
So they won maybe five or six games in a row towards the end of the season and stayed up, right?
But they're a low-budget team.
They keep the same players, and they had to fire their coach because his son did something.
And then they got this other guy named Claudio Ranieri, an old Italian coach that used to coach in England with one of the top teams, but he never won anything.
He only came second.
So then all year, he's coaching Leicester, and they're winning, you know?
They're winning.
But at the beginning of every soccer season, the lower teams always win a little.
And then there's the championship stages of the season, like the second part of the season, the third, and the final fourth where teams start slipping.
But Leicester doesn't slip.
And all the players are players from cast-off teams and players that no team ever wanted to buy.
So then they get into the last seven, eight games of the season.
Everybody's like, they're going to start losing and the team behind them, Spurs, is going to catch them.
But these motherfuckers, they gel together in a style...
That I've never seen before.
Like, they're very defensive, but they'll attack you, really.
If they have these two forwards, like if you kick the ball out to them, they're fast, and then they'll score, and then they'll just shut the whole shit down.
Like, you ain't going nowhere.
It don't matter who the fuck you are, you are not going nowhere.
I think that's one of the things that's going on with Trump.
When I see some of these people that are Trump supporters, I'm like, are you really?
Or are you just in a cunt gang?
Because it seems like a lot of them are in a cunt gang.
They're wearing sunglasses, they're being dicks, they're honking at these people that have Bernie Sanders signs.
Have you seen this?
I forget what city it was in, where Bernie Sanders wound up winning.
Trump was but was a big one that he won recently was Indiana Indiana so he's driving by and these Mexican Americans are on one side of the road and they're fucking screaming at this guy who's in a Donald Trump supporting truck and they're screaming shit and hurling you know insults back and forth at each other and I'm watching this I'm going what what are we seeing here like we see in gangs form because it seems like They're not really talking about Trump's policies.
They're not talking about his credentials.
They're not talking about his ability to lead and the way he carries himself.
There's so many of us, so many of us, that when something can unite us, even if it can unite us in a bad way, like the fucking Heaven's Gate cult where they all cut their dicks off and fucking wear purple sneakers on.
Yeah, it was part of what that guy wanted people to do, and he was gay.
He didn't like being gay, and he was trying to free himself from his sexuality, but at least one or two of his other big people in that group also castrated themselves.
And someone pointed out, if you click on the picture itself, that there's a photo of his ex-wife Marla Maples in a bikini in the lower corner of a magazine he's eating his fucking lunch on.
Like, I wonder if he just eats, like...
He has the noose clippings of his victims.
And he piles it on his desk and that's how he eats.
Why else would he be eating on top of a pile of papers?
Those are trophies.
Like he's a trophy hunter.
Instead of, it's probably all people he's burned in business deals and fucked over and smashed in competition.
Well, it's like his favorite stories of people he's crushed.
unidentified
Crush your enemies, have them driven before you, and hear the laminations of the women.
With his fucking American lapel pin, American flag lapel pin.
It's kind of hilarious.
I'm so torn.
Because as a person who thinks that the system that we have is so fucking absurd and it needs to change, this is one of the best ways to get it to change.
And the only reason why it's in place at all, like this electoral college and representative government, is because you couldn't talk directly to the leaders.
You couldn't talk directly to the government.
It was too hard.
But we have all these new tools in place and the idea that we're not using them.
Like, we're not using the internet, we're not using social media, we're not using our instantaneous ability to communicate with each other to find out what we actually want as a collective group.
The fact that that's...
And also, we should agree.
There should be like parameters where things can't get passed.
There should be like parameters where we all agree.
Okay, we cannot set aside any rules or create any laws that intentionally victimize certain segments of the population.
So when anything comes up, whether it's about gay marriage or whether it's about fucking whatever it is, you look at that and you go, okay, is this a law that would victimize intentionally certain aspects of our population?
And if so, we can't do it, especially if they're not doing anything to anybody else.
We should have rules like that.
We could update and make a real simple new constitution that would be way better.
And we'd keep most of this shit in the original.
Most of the ideas are freedom of speech, but update it to represent what we're dealing with today.
Because what free speech is today is very different than standing on a box and yelling into a courtyard without a microphone.
Because that's what people were doing.
Writing something down and not being worried about being killed for it.
We all agree on that kind of stuff.
But we should figure out, like, how many of these laws are good?
How many of these laws make any fucking sense?
How many of these laws we just have?
Because they've been around forever and nobody examines them.
You just have some really smart people making some really bad laws on purpose.
Like, when you're talking about laws that doesn't affect a certain segment, not making laws that affect a certain segment of society, like the ones that we have now that exist that does hurt segments of society were done on purpose, but they're just done so slickly.
It's just tough to get...
There's just some bad people in the wrong places right now.
Well, there's just too much money involved in making decisions.
That's the big issue.
The big issue is there's all these gigantic groups of people with immense amounts of money, and they can gain more money by influence people's decision-making that are in judgment or that are in positions of power.
And that's our real problem.
Our real problem is these giant groups of people.
Call them whatever you want.
Call them corporations.
Call them, you know, whatever.
Call them the banks.
Call them whatever it is.
They have the ability to influence the decision-making of the people that are in power.
And whether it's through fear, intimidation, manipulation, or straight-up bribing, there's a system that's in place that's very difficult to buck.
That's why I find it intriguing if Donald Trump gets in.
I don't find it intriguing because I like what he's saying and that I like this crazy character that he's doing.
What I find intriguing is it doesn't seem to fucking matter who the president is in any way other than socially.
Like socially it seems to matter.
Like I think one of the best things about having Obama in office...
Was that he was a guy who was pretty liberal on most things, as opposed to the eight years we had to deal with scary conservative Bush and Donald Rumsfeld and John Ashcroft.
They were scary people.
John Ashcroft covered the breasts of a statue.
Was it in the White House?
No, not the White House.
Was it at the Pentagon?
No.
I forget what the statue it was, but they put a drape over the breasts of a statue that had been exposed forever.
Ashcroft was a guy who went after Tommy Chong, because Tommy Chong's son was selling bongs.
And so he went after Tommy Chong, saying that, if you don't go to jail, I'm going to put your whole family in jail.
Well, it also heightened our suspicions of conspiracy theories and hysteria in this country because we saw really dangerous people that were running the show.
A guy like him is fucking dangerous.
A guy like Rumsfeld who pushed aspartame, that's how aspartame is legal.
It all came out of Rumsfeld.
He was one of those directly responsible for making aspartame illegal and avoiding all the information that pointed to the fact that it's probably super fucking bad for you.
I mean, we didn't know what we even could do then.
It would be really interesting to see what would happen if the Bush administration was in office today with the current ability to communicate about things.
Because that's where it's really crazy.
From 2000 to 2016 is a different world.
It's a different world.
And towards the end of the Bush administration became more and more preposterous, where people were like, what in the fuck is going on?
To the point where they went out stealing money.
Remember when they went out and gas prices went up to like fucking five bucks a gallon and everybody was like, what the fuck is What's going on?
It just felt like they went out stealing money.
They're just like, look, before Obama comes into office, we're just going to suck as much money out of this bitch as we can.
I read this book about this guy named Danny McGurdy.
Danny McGurdy is like a famous Depression-era pool hustler who traveled across the country during like the darkest days of the Depression and would hustle from town to town and gamble with guys and make money, like barely get by.
But was an alcoholic and just wrote a bunch of crazy stories about all his times.
But there was times where he's begging people for food.
Like he was starving.
He just showed up at someone's house and was begging him for food.
And the guy comes out and gives him a bowl of sausages and shit.
You realize there were times in this country, and by the way, back then, no one was telling them everything was going to be okay.
There was no Oprah on TV. There was no positive thinking.
There was no mind coaches on late night infomercials.
I'm going to give you the tools to achieve your greatness!
It was none of that.
They were just almost animalistic.
Traveling around in boxcars.
And this book was really intense, man, because this guy was talking kind of with shame about how he had broken down a couple of times and was just asking people for food.
He goes, I didn't have any other options.
I had to beg people for food.
And you realize, yeah, that's a different time than today.
We've made lines on the ground of the earth that you can't cross.
And there's no difference between the people on either side, other than the fact that they speak different languages.
But they're just people, and there's a lot of each people on the other side.
My fucking parents live in Mexico, man.
A lot of Mexicans live in America.
A lot of my friends are from Mexico.
I know a lot of people from Mexico.
A lot.
I probably know 20 or 30 people who were born in Mexico.
So we integrated, right?
Obviously, there's no difference between us other than culture and language, right?
But we still have this crazy line like you can't come over and you guys are fucked you're listen listen listen listen You were born into a worse system than us.
We can't lay over here, right?
I know you want to get better But fuck off fuck you get no if you get better over on this side if you're born in Phoenix Oh, you missed it by a mile See if you landed in Phoenix if you came out of your mother's pussy in Phoenix your gold Dude, didn't you get fucking Medicare and all that good shit?
You're in the Obamacare, but if you're born a mile the other way fucksville.
I wonder how much of what Mexico is right now is a direct result of the Spanish invasions.
Like I wonder when something happens like during like the Aztec days and there's some crazy takeover and the Spanish language gets introduced to Central America and even North America.
I mean most of California, what we call California, used to be Mexico.
So I wonder, like, what impact that had because when you find out the atrocities that were committed with the Aztecs and the invaders and the introduction of horsebacks, I mean, people riding horseback, that was all during Cortez, right?
And the people before him was all the Europeans that had brought over horses.
Just think about all that chaos that happened there.
His second voyage to America, Spanish horses representing Cabalos were brought back to North America, first in the Virgin Islands, and in 1519, they were reintroduced on the continent.
In modern-day Mexico, from where they radiated through the American Great Plains, Yeah, I see, man.
I was just thinking, I was looking for a, not a picture, but a representation of it, because in Columbus, where I'm from, they have a replica of the Santa Maria, which is one of those boats.
It's not very big at all.
Maybe 20 or 30 people could comfortably be on it for a long period of time, so I don't know where the hell you would put animals to.
I wonder if iPhones would have existed if we just stayed in Europe.
Probably not.
See, that's one of the things that I think is really important about, like, having an asshole as a president for a brief respite, when we have a chance to rethink this whole thing, is I think...
I think we have to get outraged before things change, and we have to realize that the system is just fucking retarded.
Maybe he does, too.
Maybe, look, let's give him the benefit of the doubt, right?
You're talking about a guy who's obviously incredibly wealthy and obviously incredibly successful.
Maybe he is sick of it all himself.
Maybe he is one of the guys who's actually contributed.
I mean, look, that fucking guy paid Hillary to come to his wedding, okay?
Hundreds of thousands of dollars.
It's all it took, and she showed up.
I mean, this is a guy that's been deep, deep, deep in the system, handing out money to these motherfuckers.
And then finally he went, fuck you.
He went, fuck you.
I'm going to run this thing.
And they're like, there's no way.
There's no way, Donald Trump, we've looked at the numbers.
Impossible.
Everybody else has dropped out.
They've all given up.
I mean, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton are neck and neck, right?
Except for in Delegates, where she's quite a bit above him.
But she still doesn't have enough to win.
Like, it's close enough to, it's like, it's weird.
It's like weirdly close, where you have to look at it and people, Bernie doesn't stand a chance.
Mathematically, he's already eliminated.
But then people say, well, what if Hillary gets indicted for one of the two criminal investigations she's currently involved with?
What if people find out about this fucking email thing that it's even worse than we thought?
What if people find out this?
What if they find out that?
What if there's some dirt?
What if there's some this?
It's fucking exhausting.
It's exhausting.
But meanwhile...
This fucking Trump guy is sitting pretty, just waiting for whoever gets most beat up by this fucking campaign on the Democratic side.
They're beating the shit out of each other.
So they're going to come through it.
Whoever's going to come through is going to be all fucked up.
It's like having an MMA tournament.
One guy wins by a quick knockout in the first round, the other guy goes through a three-round war.
Trump just ran through someone, Anderson Silva style.
And so now, like Hillary and fucking Bernie Sanders are like Mickey Ward and Arturo Gatti, just beating the shit out of each other, and we have to wait to see who emerges.
I saw something the other day that Floyd Mayweather's team has been trademarking Floyd 50 or something like that, saying that he might be coming out of retirement.
I think if Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather fight in MMA, Conor McGregor will fuck him up.
He will fuck him up.
Floyd will get the shit kicked out of him.
He will kick his fucking body senseless.
He will kick his legs.
Floyd will be debunked.
Debilitated inside of one round a hundred percent and if Conor decides to take him to the ground I Guarantee you Floyd Mayweather can and Conor's no world-class wrestler.
He's no NCAA champion He's no Olympic gold medalist Guarantee you Floyd Mayweather cannot stop him from taking him to the ground and if Conor gets into the ground He's gonna mount him and cave his fucking face in or choke him or break his arm or do whatever he wants to do but in a boxing match I can't imagine a world where Floyd Mayweather doesn't fuck him up.
In a boxing match, I think Floyd Mayweather is arguably the greatest boxer of all time.
If you look at his accomplishments, who he's been able to beat, how he shuts everyone's offense down, He's a more boring version of what a lot of Bernard Hopkins does, and he does it in a more slick, skillful way with rapid reflexes, and he relies on speed and movement and just a deep, deep, deep understanding of boxing.
He's just so much better.
And if people don't know, if you think you're really good, and then you get in there and you box a guy like that, he will fucking expose the shit out of you.
He will expose the shit out of you.
It's a different animal, man.
I mean, who knows, man?
Look, one of the things we know about Conor is he has a ridiculous belief in himself and he has unbelievable power.
One of the things we know about Floyd is he's 39, I think.
I mean, for every guy like Bernard Hopkins, there's a bunch of guys who the wheels just fall off and all of a sudden they can't take a punch anymore and they can't fight anymore, they don't move good anymore.
But I can't imagine a world where he's not light years past Conor with boxing skill.
I can't imagine that either one of them would be willing to negotiate with the other one while thinking that they might get double-crossed.
You know, like, nah, I don't buy that.
Because remember with Victor Ortiz and Mayweather, when Victor Ortiz was doing some dirty shit to Mayweather, and Victor Ortiz apologized, and Floyd Mayweather just stepped to him and sucker punched him in the face and KO'd him?
Do you remember that?
Watch this.
Here, pull that up because it's kind of hilarious.
Conor would kick his body apart before Mayweather even got close to him.
I think his understanding of the distance, there's no way Mayweather would understand the distance.
Conor would hit him with spinning back kicks to the body.
Mayweather would crumble.
Conor would knee him in the body in a clinch.
It would be awful.
He would kill him.
He would kill him in an MMA fight.
He's much bigger, too.
Conor really struggles to get down to 145. He's a big fuck.
So I just think in an MMA fight it would be disastrous for Mayweather, but it could be equally disastrous in a boxing fight for Conor.
The only thing that makes me think that maybe Conor could survive is he's a fucking super dangerous puncher, just like Maidana was, or Maidana is, even though Maidana's a world-class boxer.
Maidana's the guy who beat Adrian Broner.
Maidana's a serious, vicious power puncher, and he's real aggressive and wild.
Makes me think, like, maybe if...
If Conor went straight into boxing, maybe he could have been a world-class boxer.
Maybe he could have been some real Ricky Hatton-type challenger.
Entirely possible.
But even Ricky Hatton got fucked up by Mayweather, man.
He showed that fundamental boxing at the highest level is going to beat that crazy jumping in, wild shit.
Like, wild shit didn't work on the top-level guys.
And so he got kind of exposed in that fight.
But...
You know what, man?
Boxing is so specialized.
The guys that are really good, the really, really good guys, they're underrated how good they are.
As a person who's watching it from the outside, you don't understand how good a guy like Mayweather is, I think, unless you're there with him while he's doing his stuff.
I bet if a guy's boxing him, I bet that's when you get a real understanding of how good he is.
I mean, if enough money gets thrown in the UFC's direction, the UFC might look at it this way.
Here's a pragmatic way of looking at it.
We can still make a lot of money with Conor McGregor.
Still make a lot of money with Conor McGregor in an MMA fight.
We can still make a lot of money if Conor rematches Nate Diaz, which I hear they're trying to make happen as well.
That's what the rumor's been.
But is he going to beat the best guys in the world now?
After Nate Diaz boxed him up and choked him out, is that going to happen again?
And if that does happen again, how much will that deflate his value on the open market?
If you're playing a game of chess, not looking in terms of a guy's career as an MMA fighter, but looking at it as a game of financial chess, how do you move your piece?
You might say, look, the amount of money that you can make with a Mayweather fight is off the charts.
So you're talking about like a three million pay-per-view buy or something crazy.
So you do that, you move that up, and you take that chance, and he gets boxed up by Mayweather, and maybe he survives.
If he survives and loses a fucking decision, and he goes back and he says, all respect to Mayweather, you know, I'm back to MMA. I didn't understand his hands.
It's a learning experience.
And he has this great press conference.
If he can survive, he's not diminished too much.
And Mayweather's not like a murderous puncher.
He's not like a Canelo Alvarez or a Gennady Golovkin.
Golovkin is a bad fight for him.
Someone like that's a bad fight for him.
A murderous puncher.
Because most likely they're going to take him out.
But Mayweather, it's very possible he's going to get to the decision.
I think Ronda obviously had a bad fight with Holly Holm.
Holly Holm obviously had a great fight with Ronda.
And I think Holly Holm has a great style for Ronda if Ronda fights that way.
But if Ronda doesn't fight that way, if she fights the way that Misha fought, she stays on the outside and she fights a little more strategic and she uses more movement and she incorporates a bunch of different types of takedowns.
Ronda's a champion.
She's an elite athlete and she's one of the best Right.
But in her defense, she said she got rocked by a big punch early in the first fight.
So it's very difficult to say how much that had an effect on her because she did get cracked by Holly early in the fight.
So she could have been out of it and not able to stick to her game plan, whatever it might have been.
It's entirely possible.
When you get cracked like that, Everything goes out the window.
You never know.
The only person who knows is the person who got hit.
Because if we see it, like Aldo.
When Aldo fought McGregor, he just got knocked out.
It was obvious.
We saw it in front of us.
His body stopped working.
But Ronda could have got real close to that, and we didn't even see it.
She could have, bang!
She dropped one in on her, and Ronda could have been just out of it.
Like, drunk, not knowing what she's doing.
Like, literally looking at life through a hole in a shoebox.
That is entirely possible.
So, if they fight again and Ronda manages to not get hit like that, she fights a little bit more strategic, I could see Ronda absolutely making a go at the title again.
Absolutely.
Absolutely being a champion again.
She's one of the best in the world, no doubt about it.
It's a matter of what does she want?
What does she want to do with her time?
Does she want to dedicate herself the way she dedicated herself when she was tearing up the division?
It's a very difficult thing to maintain.
And especially difficult when you have the massive amount of distractions that she has.
I mean, Rhonda's got to be worth millions of dollars.
I mean, if she just lives fairly frugally, and she does, she's good.
I mean, she's not buying gold underwear or anything like that.
You know what I'm saying?
She's pretty set if she wants to just be set and be a normal person.
But I gotta imagine that fire probably still burns.
I can't imagine it doesn't.
I would think that the intelligent way to do it, though, would be to have a warm-up fight.
That's what I would think.
And people would say, oh, she should just go right into the title fight because what if she loses?
Boxing, there's a reason why boxing has warm-up fights.
They're smart.
They've already figured it out.
Warm-up fights are good for two things.
First of all, the name, warm-up.
It really does warm you up.
It gets you back to competition.
And we saw with Jon Jones, when Jon Jones recently fought, when he fought OSP, he was supposed to fight Daniel Cormier.
He felt himself, and he said it, that he just couldn't pull the trigger.
He felt kind of rusty in there.
It's because he'd been out for a long time, more than a year.
So, with a guy...
That's trying to get back at it.
You know, I think it was critical for him to have a tough fight against a guy like Ovin St. Preux, who's a world-class, number six-ranked light heavyweight.
Get down under the belt.
It's a warm-up fight.
Then fight Daniel Cuomo, and then we're going to see what's up.
I think for Rhonda, it's probably a good idea for her to do that, too.
Fight, like, a top ten contender, a tough girl, like a Jessica Ai or someone like that.
Give that girl a chance.
Give Jessica or Raquel Pennington.
Give her a chance.
Give her a chance to prove what she can do.
And maybe even upset Ronda, give Ronda a chance to get her feet wet, get back to competition, but not be fighting for the title.
So, who knows?
Who knows what she's going to decide to do?
But she's, again, she's set.
No matter what she wants to do.
It's a matter of what she wants to do with her legacy.
It's not a matter of a financial decision, I don't think, at this point.
It's a long road to develop those kind of skills at a high level.
You have to be, and you might look good with a few moves.
Like every blue belt, like some blue belts have like one nasty arm bar.
Like there's dudes that do like a certain technique and they hone that shit down to razor sharpness.
But if you can avoid that, how much else does he have?
Right.
It's like having an argument with someone.
If someone doesn't have a good vocabulary and you have an argument with him, they might say one thing, yeah, well, you're fucking stupid!
And it might work on some people, but you're like, I'm stupid.
What about you, dummy?
And then you start talking to that person.
You start talking with a lot of different words, having a lot of good points, saying a lot of things that you know that they can't argue against, and then you start stunning them, right?
That's what a good argument is with two people.
Well, if an MMA fighter only has like one or two moves, you only have a few things, you're not gonna win an argument with someone who's verbally skilled.
Jiu Jitsu is like that in a lot of ways.
Like someone can have a fairly good vocabulary and a fairly good understanding of the world.
But if you were in some sort of a debate with like Richard Dawkins about science, like you're gonna get fucked up.
You know, if you debate Christopher Hitchens while he's alive or Sam Harris about religion, you're gonna get fucked up.
They have more tools, more weapons, more understanding.