March 2, 2016 - The Joe Rogan Experience
03:05:41
Participants
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
We're live, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| This podcast will be a mess. | ||
| Just prepare yourself. | ||
| As usual. | ||
| If you're an MMA journalist, get your weightlifting chalk on your hands. | ||
| Chalk up! | ||
| Get ready. | ||
| Get ready, bitches. | ||
| I'm full of opinions, everybody. | ||
| Hit those fucking keyboards. | ||
| This is essentially sort of a preview of this weekend's fight, but really it's just a chance to get together and fuck around. | ||
| I was told it was a breakdown. | ||
| I was told a breakdown. | ||
| Did you prepare? | ||
| I've studied all night for a breakdown. | ||
| I have my notes. | ||
| I was told this is a breakdown. | ||
| What are your thoughts, sir? | ||
| I'm glad you asked. | ||
| I'm going to go with Nate Diaz. | ||
| Now ask me why. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Why? | ||
| Well, the way I look at it, and correct me if I'm wrong, Connors boxed the daylights at everybody who, for the most part, either has his reach or smallest. | ||
| What he does is he hangs on the edge of the pocket. | ||
| That's a very good point. | ||
| He hangs on the edge of the pocket, and he's a counterpuncher, waits until you commit, slips and hits. | ||
| He's dealing with something very different with Nate, which is that Nate is longer and taller, and Nate doesn't have to do that. | ||
| And I wonder what he's going to have to do is either one of two things. | ||
| He's going to have to weave and get inside, or because Nate stands so flat, I mean sort of squares up with you, I guess he could back kick and front kick his body. | ||
| But Conor doesn't kick... | ||
| It's not when you think, watch out for Conor's hard kicks. | ||
| He actually kicks pretty good. | ||
| He has very good kicks. | ||
| You also haven't seen much of him because he's smoking everyone. | ||
| He's murking everyone. | ||
| But Nate's a very durable guy too. | ||
| He spends a lot of time in those gyms with a lot of those Mexican boxers that stand in the hole and just bang. | ||
| Which isn't Conor. | ||
| It's not, but I wonder how Conor's going to actually have to change a little bit of his boxing, and I'm curious to see how he does that. | ||
| Well, he's only fought one guy that's tall, and that's Max Holloway, and he's coincidentally the one guy that went through a decision with him. | ||
| He was also hurt in that fight. | ||
| He hurt his knee in that fight. | ||
| During the fight, when he was passing the guard, he blew out his ACL. So, that definitely had a huge, huge effect. | ||
| But I think that you make some good points. | ||
| I think Dos Anjos showed a bit of the blueprint on how to beat Nate. | ||
| And one of the big things is that Nate stands real heavy on that front leg. | ||
| He comes in, he fires that hard right jab and stands real heavy on that front leg. | ||
| And Dos Anjos just lit that leg up. | ||
| He lit his legs up. | ||
| And because of that boxing-centered style, I mean, Nate will throw the occasional kick, but primarily he fights boxing when he's fighting. | ||
| His boxing's very good. | ||
| It is. | ||
| Very sharp. | ||
| He boxed up Gray Maynard. | ||
| He boxed up Marcus Davis. | ||
| Michael Johnson. | ||
| Josh Thompson. | ||
| Michael Johnson, his last fight was one of his best fights. | ||
| Unbelievable. | ||
| Mike, Josh Thompson head-kicked him and knocked him out. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was a different, you know, that was Josh Thompson, man. | ||
| That dude's had a series of injuries, but I still maintain he's one of the best lightweights in the world. | ||
| Especially when he's in Strikeforce. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, he's getting older. | ||
| That's the issue. | ||
| He's like 36 years old now. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But do you think that Conor's met anyone yet who's as good a boxer as Nate? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Because Nate's a good boxer. | ||
| Definitely not. | ||
| Maybe Max. | ||
| Maybe Max. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But Max back then was two years ago plus. | ||
| Max was not as good as he is now. | ||
| We're confident. | ||
| Max is on fire right now. | ||
| Max Holloway's on fire. | ||
| I'd like to see him and Conor fight now. | ||
| That's a fight. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| It's coming, I think. | ||
| Well, I don't know about that, but I don't think that Conor really wants that 145 weight class anymore. | ||
| I mean, he looks so big right now. | ||
| Yeah, he has it. | ||
| And I think at 55, fighting Dos Anjos, that's the fight at UFC 200, if he gets past Nate Diaz. | ||
| It actually is kind of interesting if he gets past Nate Diaz, you know, because it makes that fight bigger. | ||
| The fight at 200, it really makes it bigger. | ||
| You know, Dos Anjos broke his foot in the last minute of the last round of sparring. | ||
| He's going against a high-level kickboxer. | ||
| And he checked the kick. | ||
| Broke his foot. | ||
| We use the same masseuse, and of course, you know, I get a text message like, Fuck! | ||
| This happened exactly. | ||
| Last minute, last round kind of thing. | ||
| That's the thing, though. | ||
| At Kings, they go hard, man. | ||
| Do they wear foot pads? | ||
| That's why they're so good. | ||
| Do they wear... | ||
| Well, it's like a shin pad, so it's over it. | ||
| But if we throw him that hard and a high-level kickboxer is checking it, it's tough, man. | ||
| If you kick as hard as he does and you kick a tree, you're going to fucking break your foot. | ||
| See, I think... | ||
| We know what Nate Diaz is going to bring to the table. | ||
| I think Conor knows. | ||
| I think everyone in this room knows what he's going to do. | ||
| We don't know what Conor's really going to do. | ||
| We really haven't seen all his tools, man. | ||
| I think Diaz is the perfect matchup so he can showcase all his tools. | ||
| Because Diaz, I don't think he's going to get murked in the first round. | ||
| We're going to see a lot of Conor and what he brings to the table. | ||
| Well, Conor's really good at lulling you with those kicks and then stepping in with that big left hand. | ||
| That left hand is just a fucking monster punch. | ||
| From heaven. | ||
| Oh, man, he just throws it so perfect and he's got so much power behind it. | ||
| But I'll tell you, man, it's hard to hit Nate Diaz clean. | ||
| Hard to hit him clean. | ||
| He's tall. | ||
| He's slick. | ||
| He moves a lot. | ||
| You know, it's hard because his range is good. | ||
| He's also good at ducking under shit. | ||
| You know, he's good at anticipating. | ||
| He's also high here, you know. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could be interesting. | ||
| I think, man, if Nate Diaz got to a serious Muay Thai camp and really learned how to kick correctly and made more distance and then threw the occasional fucking takedown attempt in there. | ||
| I think with a lot of these guys, one of the issues is they got a great formula and that formula is winning fights and it can carry them very far. | ||
| But is it the best strategy? | ||
| The best strategy is the guy you're fighting that doesn't have any idea what the fuck you're about to do. | ||
| That's the George St. Pierre strategy. | ||
| George would just mix it up so well, and it was like one of his best assets. | ||
| He really didn't know what his attack was going to be. | ||
| With these guys, you know what their attack's going to be. | ||
| With Nate, you know what his attack's going to be. | ||
| But it's a fucking good attack. | ||
| It's a good attack, but I think we're seeing a changing of the guard. | ||
| You're seeing these athletes like Luke Rockhold, who's just a freak. | ||
| Conor McGregor, these guys who can do it all. | ||
| So you have the old guard with... | ||
| I'm not hating on these guys, but I was one of the old guards. | ||
| I like to wrestle, box. | ||
| Didn't do a lot of kickboxing, didn't do a lot of kicks. | ||
| You look at Rashad Evans, really not a kickboxer. | ||
| Good at wrestling, good at boxing. | ||
| We know he's going to bring you to the table. | ||
| But Crazy's got a big head kick knockout in Sean Salmon. | ||
| That was one of his biggest highlight reel KOs. | ||
| For sure, but how long ago was that? | ||
| Long time ago, but you would have thought that that would have been a bigger part of his arsenal. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| He can do it. | ||
| He's athletic enough. | ||
| You look at a guy like Ryan Bader, wrestler, boxer. | ||
| So you have this old guard. | ||
| The new guys coming up, man, if you don't have it all, good luck. | ||
| And they're tossing these guys up who are phenomenal fighters. | ||
| They have these huge fan base and stuff like that, and they're giving it to these young athletic guys, and good luck with that skill set, man. | ||
| I think this sport is just still evolving. | ||
| We're in the middle of it and we're watching it happen, but it's still all over the place. | ||
| Your weight class is a perfect example. | ||
| Your weight class, you cannot be one-dimensional. | ||
| You cannot. | ||
| There's no one. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| It's not an option. | ||
| There's no one who's one-dimensional who's anywhere near the top ten. | ||
| Maybe out of the top five, say, Formiga is the most one-dimensional, or Cejudo. | ||
| But are they really? | ||
| You know, Formiga is this amazing ground guy, but he tries to kickbox with everybody. | ||
| Cejudo is the wrestler, but he's trying to punch a hole in your head. | ||
| His fucking striking is not bad. | ||
| Cejudo's striking is very, very sharp. | ||
| A little slow for the weight class, but he's so strong, and he does negate the gap very well. | ||
| So I think that... | ||
| He takes care of his lack of speed, but then you fight someone like Demetrius where everything is about speed. | ||
| So that's where I think he's still too slow to beat Demetrius. | ||
| It's gonna be an interesting fight. | ||
| It's gonna be a real interesting fight. | ||
| I mean, you're talking about a guy who's an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling. | ||
| And he's a motherfucker with his mindset. | ||
| I mean, he's a winner. | ||
| So who knows? | ||
| Just a straight up winner. | ||
| Straight up winner. | ||
| All those Olympic athletes that come out of the UFC, they're all pretty successful, man. | ||
| Think about them. | ||
| You've got Dan Henderson, DC, Cejudo, Ronda Rousey. | ||
| That Olympic mindset, man, it's priceless. | ||
| Do you remember when Mark Schultz fought? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It was like, hello everybody. | ||
| They're lucky. | ||
| The whole division is so lucky that he had a good wrestling teaching gig. | ||
| Yeah, they got a good offer. | ||
| They wouldn't let him fight in the UFC. Was he Brigham Young? | ||
| I think that's what he was with. | ||
| And they were like, you can't fight in the UFC. You can't fight cage fighting while you're teaching wrestling. | ||
| Not BYU, son. | ||
| They're so lucky because if that motherfucker got in there, everybody's on their back. | ||
| Look at Yo Romero. | ||
| Every single person. | ||
| Look at Yo Romero. | ||
| What's interesting about somebody like Yo Romero is that you've seen him get taken down. | ||
| He doesn't give a fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can take him down. | ||
| I'll just stand up. | ||
| I'll just stand up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool luck holding me down with gay Jesus on my side. | |
| Gay Jesus on my side. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The way you hold him down is drug test him. | ||
| You want to hold him down? | ||
| Go ahead and drug test him. | ||
| Or put gay Jesus on top of him. | ||
| Let's be real. | ||
| So screwed. | ||
| So screwed. | ||
| Oh, I don't mean to flip scripts there, but how about Bisbing Anderson Silva? | ||
| I was blowing your phone up during that. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Blowing you up. | ||
| First of all, Bisbing is one of the toughest fucking men on the planet. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God. | |
| That dude has one eyeball. | ||
| He got knocked out dead at the end of the third round. | ||
| Came back and won the fourth. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| How is that not talked about? | ||
| The guy's blind in one eye. | ||
| People don't know that. | ||
| He must be able to see something. | ||
| He can see something, but it's... | ||
| Because we were reading the teleprompter, and it's difficult. | ||
| That eye is, I guess, at certain angles, he's got to hold his eye a certain way because it's kind of tunnel vision. | ||
| There's oil in it. | ||
| There's oil in his retina. | ||
| So he has to read with the other eye. | ||
| Of his eye. | ||
| Yeah, and that's to protect the retina, keep it in place. | ||
| Is that the idea? | ||
| They can't attach it yet because if they attach it... | ||
| Does it rip off again? | ||
| Yeah, if they attach it again, it'll be more damaging. | ||
| So he has to wait until after he's done fighting, they can reattach. | ||
| So think about this. | ||
| He beat Anderson Silva with one eye. | ||
| Oh, and Anderson's a southpaw, you fucks. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crazy. | |
| It's nuts, man. | ||
| Nick Diaz beat him high. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| The flying knee that Anderson landed was goddamn glorious. | ||
| It was nice. | ||
| The way he did it, he jumps up with the front leg or with the right leg, and then there's almost like a pause in the air. | ||
| Kadoosh! | ||
| He still had that ability to move, like just kind of stare at you right against the cage. | ||
| It was weird when he was in the middle of the cage. | ||
| He didn't seem to want to throw. | ||
| It was so weird. | ||
| You felt like he had Bisping, especially at the beginning of the fourth round, he could have capitalized and he was hesitant. | ||
| He's 40. Is that what it is? | ||
| He's 40. He's a 40-year-old man. | ||
| I don't know why we can't just chalk that up. | ||
| He's just an older fighter, man. | ||
| He's phenomenal. | ||
| Fighting natural. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And, you know, Bisping was giving him a ton of shit, saying, you've been on steroids your whole career. | ||
| Fair assumption. | ||
| We don't know if that's true or not true. | ||
| We just know the one time he was tested, he got caught. | ||
| So it's not like outlandish for Bisping to say that. | ||
| The one time out of competition testing, he got caught. | ||
| Who the fuck knows, man? | ||
| What's hilarious is when you look at his trainer. | ||
| And you go, um, what? | ||
| Purple man. | ||
| That guy's 70. I think he's in his 60s. | ||
| I think he might be like 65, 66 years old or something like that. | ||
| He's got dick veins at the side of his neck. | ||
| He's got more muscle than all of us together. | ||
| If we packed all of our muscle together... | ||
| Easily. | ||
| He looks like a cluster of horse cocks with feet so big. | ||
| He's so big. | ||
| So he's not natural. | ||
| Okay, so if he's not natural, then Anderson knows about steroids. | ||
| He's heard of them. | ||
| He's familiar with them. | ||
| The guy who's teaching him how to lift weights and running him through his strength and conditioning program is obviously going through it. | ||
| Oh, hey bro, I got this stuff. | ||
| Ten years later. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, you know, all these years you've been fighting, this is stuff that I do. | ||
| It's probably not interesting for you. | ||
| For recovery. | ||
| But it makes you a super person. | ||
| I know you're in a sport that's like, if your body moves better, you don't get brain damage, but that's not important. | ||
| This testing is super effective, isn't it? | ||
| Dude, Jeff Novitski is a motherfucker, and he's not playing games. | ||
| He's trying to catch dudes. | ||
| He's showing up at your house at 6 o'clock in the morning, and he's taking your piss. | ||
| That's his goal, too. | ||
| He's taking your blood. | ||
| They got me the other day before I came up here, or no, when I went to do Daniele Bolelli's podcast. | ||
| And they called me as I'm ten minutes away, five minutes away. | ||
| Where are you? | ||
| I'm in LA. I was like, well, you're at my gym. | ||
| Just wait for me. | ||
| I'll come back after the show. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| We're coming to you, bitch. | ||
| The bloodhound song. | ||
| And they fucking drove up. | ||
| To Daniele's house? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, to where he does his podcast. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| They watched me do the podcast after they tested me. | ||
| Super nice people, very professional, but they're not playing games. | ||
| They're testing for everything? | ||
| They test for weed and everything? | ||
| Everything. | ||
| Yeah, but weed doesn't matter out of competition. | ||
| Out of competition, it doesn't matter. | ||
| So let me ask you this. | ||
| Nor does Coke, by the way. | ||
| That was the Jon Jones situation. | ||
| Have fun, boys. | ||
| So let me ask you this. | ||
| If Nate Diaz, short-notice fight... | ||
| Let's take the word if out. | ||
| Because I know what you're going to say. | ||
| So let's say he's smoking weed, he beats Connor. | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure. | ||
| Then he gets flags. | ||
| It's a DQ, right? | ||
| It'd be a no contest. | ||
| If I smoked weed today, the fight is in two days, or three days, right? | ||
| If I smoked weed today, and the day of the fight, I ask them, would you test me? | ||
| I want to find out what the levels are. | ||
| I think I'd be okay. | ||
| I think you literally have to get high the day before or the day of with the new parameters. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's good then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's way different. | ||
| It's way different. | ||
| It's way different than it used to be. | ||
| So you have to, it's not like trace. | ||
| They used to have trace amounts of THC. But I really believe that if I smoke weed today and I asked them to test me on Saturday, I'd be okay. | ||
| Yeah, let's not smoke the day of the fight though, huh? | ||
| Well, Nick Diaz, apparently when he fought Gomi, was tested so high that this motherfucker had to be high as FUCK when he fought Gomi. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Just went out there. | ||
| Who pulls off a go-go fucking platter in MMA, too? | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| And after he got his cheek broken, he got hit with a bomb by Gomi. | ||
| When can Nick fight again? | ||
| About nine months? | ||
| Bisping wants that fight. | ||
| They changed it around. | ||
| It was supposed to be five years and they made it at like a year and a half, I think. | ||
| Is that what they made it? | ||
| I think they made it 16 months. | ||
| Way shorter, yeah. | ||
| You know what would be an interesting fight? | ||
| Only because they fought before and Nick won. | ||
| I'm surprised Nick isn't calling Robbie Lawler out. | ||
| Well, I don't think Nick's calling out anybody. | ||
| Nick's just chilling out and waiting for all this bullshit to settle. | ||
| He got fucking railroaded, man, because Nick passed two WADA tests. | ||
| The really deep, comprehensive blood screens that they use for the Olympics. | ||
| He passed those with flying colors. | ||
| What he didn't pass is some bullshit-ass Quest Diagnostics Lab test that the fucking Nevada State Athletic Commission uses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Super shady. | |
| Super shady. | ||
| And these assholes wouldn't even pay attention to the other two tests And they tried to ban him for five years. | ||
| That's insane, man. | ||
| Yeah, they're assholes, man. | ||
| Vanderlei's silver thing is another example. | ||
| Assholes. | ||
| They're assholes. | ||
| What they did to Vanderlei, banned him for life. | ||
| Vanderlei just signed with Bellator. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Did he sign with Bellator? | ||
| Yes, he did. | ||
| Today? | ||
| Is it breaking news or some shit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, he did. | |
| Damn, I didn't know that. | ||
| But here's the deal. | ||
| We talked about this in the last podcast. | ||
| Kimbo Wanderlei Silva? | ||
| Well, Wanderlei has to fight Fedor first. | ||
| He's going to fight Fedor first. | ||
| That's the big fight. | ||
| In Japan or whatever. | ||
| In Japan. | ||
| But having that fight in Japan could throw his whole Bellator deal in jeopardy because he's going to have to fight on Indian casinos. | ||
| Once he fights, which at Wanderlei's age is probably not the worst thing in the world anyway, because... | ||
| Let's go ahead and juice up. | ||
| There's some certain guys... | ||
| Bobby Lashley... | ||
| There's certain guys that only fight in certain places, and they look ridiculously muscular. | ||
| Now, I don't know exactly how everything works. | ||
| Peter Belfort, Brazil. | ||
| But I know that... | ||
| Well, that's even more shit. | ||
| That's even more weird. | ||
| Hector Lombard, Australia. | ||
| Only, please. | ||
| The thing is... | ||
| They don't have a Jeff Nowitzki at Bellator. | ||
| They don't have a fucking hawk. | ||
| Nor do they want one. | ||
| No, they don't want one. | ||
| You don't want one. | ||
| But aren't you dealing with a commission? | ||
| I don't want one. | ||
| I'll tell the UFC, what are we trying to do? | ||
| What are you trying to do? | ||
| Hey, how dare you? | ||
| Let's fucking move on with our lives. | ||
| You know what the fuck you guys are doing? | ||
| But you're dealing with a commission, right? | ||
| Let's move on! | ||
| You're dealing with a commission. | ||
| Commission's easy. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| The UFC enforced this, not the commission. | ||
| Yeah, this is the UFC's idea. | ||
| Look, the commission, look, it's a famous line that someone made up, I don't know who it was, but they said that passing one of those urine tests is an intelligence test, it's not a drug test. | ||
| Correct. | ||
| It might have been Victor Conte. | ||
| It might have been Victor Conte. | ||
| But, you know, who's the Balco guy. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| If anybody fucking knows, he knows. | ||
| So, I think Vandelay... | ||
| Well, first of all, I think they should fucking... | ||
| Vandelay's suspension should be exactly as long as it would have been if he got popped, which I think is nine months at the time. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Was it back then when he got caught? | ||
| Was it nine months back then? | ||
| Back then it was nine months, yeah, if you tested positive. | ||
| Fucking nine months. | ||
| So he's good. | ||
| He should be done. | ||
| His suspension should be over. | ||
| Fine him a little bit and let's move on, man. | ||
| The guy never tested positive once. | ||
| He never tested positive once? | ||
| Never! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Vanderlei probably definitely did something. | ||
| I mean, you look at when he was fighting in Japan, but Japan didn't have tests. | ||
| Or if they did have tests, they didn't care. | ||
| This is coming straight from Ensign Inouye, who said it was on his contract that said, we will not test you for steroids. | ||
| And Ensign... | ||
| Ensign is incapable of lying. | ||
| He does not lie. | ||
| Chuck Liddell talked about it. | ||
| He said he took a piss test and was like walking around. | ||
| They're like, uh, just put it on the back there. | ||
| Just throw it in the toilet. | ||
| He was like, I'm not going to set it on the table. | ||
| There's no one around. | ||
| Like, just wherever then. | ||
| He's like, all right. | ||
| They just want to check it out. | ||
| Here's a Sharpie. | ||
| Draw your name on it. | ||
| Don't spill, please. | ||
| Just write negative on it. | ||
| Just put whatever you want, man. | ||
| Put whatever you want. | ||
| Write healthy. | ||
| Either way, awesome to watch. | ||
| Do not drink. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's all. | |
| You came back, do not drink. | ||
| But, you know, man, everybody knew. | ||
| You know, if you have a league where everybody knows that everybody else is doing whatever the fuck they want, that's a different thing. | ||
| It's not really cheating, because it's not illegal over there. | ||
| It's not the same thing as over here. | ||
| You just can't do that and be a legit sport, you know? | ||
| You just can't. | ||
| Baseball, football. | ||
| Powerlifting. | ||
| Excuse me? | ||
| Powerlifting. | ||
| I didn't hear you. | ||
| I'm going to get so much hate for this. | ||
| I'm talking about a mainstream sport, bro. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't ever, ever, ever compare powerlifting? | |
| Because you look at NBA, strict drug testing, NFL, MLB, now it's super strict. | ||
| There's fucking no home runs anymore. | ||
| What would people look like if bodybuilding and powerlifting, if 100% it was legit, across the board, no steroids whatsoever, knocking on your door every morning at 4 a.m. | ||
| They would all look like Callum. | ||
| Look at the 60s. | ||
| They would all look like Callum in Speedos. | ||
| No one would pay attention. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Look at the 60s. | ||
| In the 60s, bodybuilders and powerlifters, their legs, especially the bodybuilders, their legs are actually kind of small. | ||
| No, they look good. | ||
| They look like normal. | ||
| They look healthy. | ||
| They just all do this, and they're in their high-waisted tights, and they're just hot. | ||
| There's certain guys from the bodybuilding era of Schwarzenegger, that to this day, they look small but yoked as fuck, like Frank Zane. | ||
| Frank Zane never looked like Lee Haney or Dorian Yates or any of those freaks. | ||
| Ronnie Coleman was what, 320, all muscle? | ||
| There was a guy- And only like 5'9", right? | ||
| It's insane! | ||
| Isn't Ronnie Coleman fairly short? | ||
| I thought Ronnie Coleman was like 6-something. | ||
| Oh, he's a big guy. | ||
| 6'2", 6'3". | ||
| Which one is really short? | ||
| Dorian Yates, I thought. | ||
| Is Dorian? | ||
| Pretty sure. | ||
| But back in the day, like before they started doing a lot of steroids, like, well, who did Pumping Iron Gaines? | ||
| The guy's last name is Gaines, and I knew him and I spoke to him. | ||
| He said there was a black guy featured in Pumping Iron, and I can't remember his name, but- Albert Beckles? | ||
| Really muscular guy. | ||
| Older guy? | ||
| Yeah, he was eating 20 pounds of red meat a day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And that's how he was getting... | ||
| He was like, lions eat a lot of meat, so he was eating 20 pounds of... | ||
| That's that bro science stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Lions? | |
| God damn it. | ||
| Literally the other body... | ||
| He was shredded, though. | ||
| He was shredded. | ||
| Yeah, but you're not a lion, are you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The other bodybuilders were like, what? | ||
| He would eat rice? | ||
| This guy's awesome. | ||
| I guess a large quantity of rice and 20 pounds of red meat a day. | ||
| Somebody needs to tell him that gorillas only eat broccoli. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Right? | ||
| All they eat is fucking go to the zoo. | ||
| They're eating stalks of broccoli and bamboo shoots. | ||
| But their dicks are this big. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| He was shredded in the... | ||
| Did you see his dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How big was it? | |
| Was it meat? | ||
| We dated for a little while. | ||
| It wasn't big, but it was tasty. | ||
| It was tasty. | ||
| Those were the days because it was Arnold and Venice Beach, Gold's Gym, bitches everywhere, smoking weed, slinging dick. | ||
| Franco Columbo was in my friend's acting class. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| Franco Columbo was super short. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That Franco Columbo used to be able to take one of those hot water bottles and his lungs were so strong they would make it explode. | ||
| He would blow into it until it blew up. | ||
| A fucking hot water bottle. | ||
| One of those rubber things, a thick rubber. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He would... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| Boom! | ||
| Nobody else could do it. | ||
| Very few people could do it. | ||
| They'd be like, what in the fuck? | ||
| He'd do dips. | ||
| He would do dips with two dudes hanging off his waist. | ||
| And he would do dips. | ||
| Let's grab some weights. | ||
| How about what he looks like today? | ||
| Remember Platts? | ||
| Yes, Tom Platts. | ||
| You can see it on YouTube. | ||
| He's squats. | ||
| He deep squats 500 pounds. | ||
| I think it was 25 times. | ||
| Dude, those guys were doing it back then, though. | ||
| Roids, lifting weights, hanging out on the beach, Venice, smoking weed. | ||
| Banging chicks. | ||
| Tons of chicks. | ||
| Letting guys blow them so they have money for steroids. | ||
| Good chance. | ||
| Good chance Arnold was sucking weed in his dick. | ||
| Something was going on. | ||
| That was a big thing with those bodybuilders. | ||
| A big thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're the original sugar babies. | |
| I'm dead serious, man. | ||
| Sugar baby is such a great word. | ||
| Isn't it such a good word? | ||
| A sugar baby? | ||
| Bodybuilders are the original sugar baby. | ||
| Well, you got to do what you got to do. | ||
| You ain't just going to lift and pay the bills. | ||
| Be small or suck a dick. | ||
| You got two options. | ||
| You want muscle, son? | ||
| Come here. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| You want to hang out with your boys on the beach? | ||
| You better suck this dick. | ||
| Imagine if steroids didn't work, but sucking dick did. | ||
| Everyone would be so swole. | ||
| The only way to get swole, you gotta suck a dick. | ||
| Callum would be the biggest motherfucker in the room. | ||
| You're damn right. | ||
| They would change what's gay. | ||
| They would change it. | ||
| I'm not gay because I like dicks. | ||
| I'm just trying to get big. | ||
| No, bro. | ||
| I'm just trying to blow up. | ||
| Trying to get big. | ||
| Trying to get big, man. | ||
| Do you remember when guys would take brewer's yeast back in the day? | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| I knew guys who would just always lift and they'd go, check this out. | ||
| Why would they take brewer's yeast? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Apparently brewer's yeast makes you bigger or something. | ||
| That's that old school. | ||
| That's super old school. | ||
| They'd sell it in pill form. | ||
| You don't remember that? | ||
| No, not at all. | ||
| When steroids hit, they didn't think it was as bad as it was, right? | ||
| Lyle Alzado was kind of the first one who was like, oh, I'm going to die because I use steroids. | ||
| But before it wasn't a big deal. | ||
| It was kind of like cigarettes, right? | ||
| See, Lyle Alzado, I don't think it was because of that. | ||
| I think what Lyle Alzado was doing, he was doing an early form of human growth hormone. | ||
| I might be off base here. | ||
| Jamie won't look this up real quick. | ||
| I'm just saying Alzado was the first to say though. | ||
| But the early form of human growth hormone was taken from cadavers. | ||
| It wasn't made in a lab with bacteria, the way they make growth hormone today. | ||
| In the early form of human growth hormone, you would take it and there was like crazy adverse side effects. | ||
| Like, people who got really fucked up from it. | ||
| They get leukemia and all kinds of stuff. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You can get fucking Jacob Crooksfeld. | ||
| You can get mad cow disease from it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| You can get prions from it. | ||
| You can get all kinds of crazy shit. | ||
| I think Alvedo was saying that he was dying because of that, and then scientists came out and were like, nah, son. | ||
| I don't think it... | ||
| You had a brain tumor. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| Well, you know, you also got to deal with the massive amount of trauma that guy took to the head. | ||
| Played football for 30 years. | ||
| Just bang, bang, bang. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maniac. | |
| I mean, who knows? | ||
| There's all sorts of bad things that happen to your brain when you play football for 30 years. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Especially the way he did. | ||
| Yeah, football back then was different. | ||
| Who knows why? | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| Why he got brain... | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| Not a lot of other guys that were doing what he did got brain tumors. | ||
| So it could have been completely unrelated. | ||
| Because don't they say human growth hormone, from what I understand, is... | ||
| So it's going to help grow everything that's good, but also if you have a tumor, it's going to help grow that. | ||
| It could. | ||
| It's potentially... | ||
| That is potentially a side effect. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| You know, that's why one of the things they say that's really important, and if you do do that, you gotta get yourself scanned. | ||
| And if you're doing it like the way those guys are doing it, where you're taking like 10 units a day, you know, they're taking massive amounts. | ||
| That's why the bodybuilders show big, and they have those power guts, where they have abs, but it's guts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's like these bulging muscles, too. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| Like, if you have those gigantic, like, Lee Haney ab muscles, you've got to think of his whole body. | ||
| Everything's giant. | ||
| Everything's giant. | ||
| So his ab muscles are giant, too. | ||
| They stick out. | ||
| Also because they're huge. | ||
| And his organs are growing, too. | ||
| Is it growing your dick? | ||
| Apparently, if you do take massive amounts for long periods of time, it can grow your organs larger. | ||
| But I think what we're looking at and where you're looking at those guys, a lot of it is just massive muscle. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| It's more muscle than we've ever seen. | ||
| Because you look at Arnold. | ||
| Even Arnold's like, it's a different game, man. | ||
| When I was doing it, it was basically just steroids. | ||
| And now they're doing all these designer drugs. | ||
| They sweat non-stop. | ||
| I don't know if you've hung out with a current bodybuilder. | ||
| They sweat non-stop. | ||
| Because their bodies are constantly like, fuck, man. | ||
| Straight up dying. | ||
| They're always dying. | ||
| Straight up dying. | ||
| So that's Dorian and Lee Haney together. | ||
| Dorian Yates was very tall from what I understand, wasn't he? | ||
| Well, if Lee Haney's six feet tall, it looks like Dorian's somewhere in the same mane. | ||
| He's an orange lion. | ||
| Glorious mane. | ||
| He's Donald Trump. | ||
| He looks like Donald Trump. | ||
| Dude, isn't it weird how they turn bronze? | ||
| Because black guys, right? | ||
| They're like, fuck, you can see every muscle. | ||
| So a white dude's like, dude, we gotta get black. | ||
| It's the original chocolate face. | ||
| Some guys get really dark. | ||
| Yeah, they'll have a white face and then paint the rest of them so dark. | ||
| Black. | ||
| They're straight black. | ||
| Yeah, like Jamaican. | ||
| Yeah, because they've got to compete with the black guys. | ||
| Yeah, just to show contrast, to show the muscles. | ||
| Dude, black guys own bodybuilding now. | ||
| Do they own it now? | ||
| Phil Heath, five-time Mr. Olympia champion. | ||
| Before that, well, it was Jake Cutler, but then you had Ronnie Coleman for all those years. | ||
| Dexter Jackson. | ||
| I don't know how long you could do that for, to take that much steroids at that high a level. | ||
| How long can you do that? | ||
| What's the most? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eight? | |
| I think eight is the most. | ||
| No, six, I think, right? | ||
| How long did Arnie do it? | ||
| How many years did Arnie win? | ||
| Not long, because Arnie was doing it right, and then he just blew the fuck up and went full celebrity. | ||
| He was like, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to quit fucking lifting weights with you, meet him, and go make some money. | ||
| Phil Heath wants to get 10 titles and then quit. | ||
| That sounds like a good number. | ||
| The problem with those guys is what do they do when it's over? | ||
| They showed some of the guys from the old days that are still alive today and they get off the sauce and their body is just depressed. | ||
| Wouldn't they have to keep doing it to fill the gap in? | ||
| They're going to have to do something, some form of testosterone, but the kidneys is from the weight cutting. | ||
| You know what it is? | ||
| Yeah, the kidneys is not from steroids. | ||
| The kidneys is from the massive dehydration. | ||
| When you see those guys when they're standing on that scale or on that stage and they're posing, they're down to like 3% body fat. | ||
| They're close to death. | ||
| Close to death. | ||
| No carbs. | ||
| No water. | ||
| No carbs. | ||
| Their bodies are just like shrugged. | ||
| If you try and talk to one when they're getting ready for that, their brain barely functions because they're just so depleted. | ||
| Yeah, they know how to do this. | ||
| It's so dangerous, man. | ||
| So dangerous. | ||
| Well, now they manipulate their insulin, too. | ||
| They do all kinds of weird stuff. | ||
| Yes, that's dangerous. | ||
| Did you see the new pumping iron? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, it's good. | ||
| Generation Iron? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Generation Iron. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| Netflix? | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Yep, with Kai Greene. | ||
| Kai Greene. | ||
| Kai Greene, who's a giant... | ||
| He's a giant gay bodybuilder. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| He's not gay. | ||
| Whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| Whoa, bro. | ||
| Civ, how dare you? | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Kai Greene is a guy... | ||
| Why are you throwing that away? | ||
| When we're talking gay for pay, the reason he doesn't win is there's videos out there of him fucking grapefruits for money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It might be a cantaloupe, but he's doing some gay stuff. | ||
| He's stripping for men, and it's all over the internet. | ||
| He did gay porn, didn't he? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, man. | |
| Why do you say that? | ||
| I feel like he did. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| He didn't. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He puts on a mask, a doll mask, and poses in subways. | ||
| He comes in second to Phil Heath every year. | ||
| One of the reasons why he doesn't win is because he has this history of doing some promiscuous stuff with men. | ||
| There's a video of him stripping and shoves his dick in front of the guy's face. | ||
| Yeah, I guess so, man. | ||
| If they let him compete, they should let him win. | ||
| That's why the gays never win. | ||
| Well, he comes in second. | ||
| That's rude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at his hair. | |
| That bun in the back of his head is adorable. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| Maybe that's the offensive part they don't like, is the hair. | ||
| Yeah, it's the bun. | ||
| Oh, look at this. | ||
| What's going on there, guys? | ||
| I agree, and they're big rivals, by the way. | ||
| And Phil Heath. | ||
| Boy, they are both enormous. | ||
| You know, here's the problem. | ||
| When it gets down to this, like these two guys, how the fuck do you decide who wins? | ||
| How could you even tell? | ||
| Do you tell? | ||
| Can you tell? | ||
| Well, you can because you're a good wine connoisseur. | ||
| It's like the same thing. | ||
| It's symmetry. | ||
| How do you know a great glass of wine? | ||
| The tannins and the oaky flavor. | ||
| It's a feeling. | ||
| It's a feeling I have. | ||
| I don't get how they do it either. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| It's symmetry. | ||
| You're looking at... | ||
| Muscle development, but you're also looking at symmetry. | ||
| Yeah, but they all look like that. | ||
| But these two guys, they're in different stages of the pose. | ||
| Like the guy on the left, his arms are further apart. | ||
| No, not much. | ||
| Yeah, but one chose that pose and the other chose... | ||
| See, Phil, he... | ||
| No, they do side-by-side poses. | ||
| Right, but see how Kai Greene forgot about his legs. | ||
| Phil said, I'm going to open my legs a little bit. | ||
| Look at the leg muscular. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| It's insane. | ||
| He's perfectly proportional. | ||
| You know Phil played basketball in college and was 178 pounds, point guard. | ||
| And he's got to be like 300 pounds. | ||
| Good buddy of mine, man, from Denver, yeah. | ||
| You know him? | ||
| Yeah, really well. | ||
| How long is he going to do this for? | ||
| He said he wants 10 times. | ||
| Yeah, this is his fifth, he wants 10. So five more years, and his body's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Making that cheddar, though. | ||
| Is he making cheddar? | ||
| For real? | ||
| Yeah, seven figures a year. | ||
| How do they do that? | ||
| How do they make that money? | ||
| Yeah, so he'll go to England. | ||
| He'll do all these big pro-ams, you know? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| He'll do all these big pro-ams and get paid bank. | ||
| Like, over in Europe and the Middle East, bodybuilding's huge. | ||
| Europe? | ||
| Yeah, huge. | ||
| Way bigger than it is here. | ||
| You got $250,000 to win. | ||
| $400. | ||
| But then in sponsors, he's making six, seven figures a year. | ||
| He's got his own line, too. | ||
| It's interesting how much it jumped up for 2015. It went from $250 to $275 to $400. | ||
| He's also got his own line. | ||
| He's got his own supplement line that I think does pretty well. | ||
| Yeah, called Gifted Nutrition, but I don't think it's... | ||
| He's not making his money off that. | ||
| He's making his money doing these touring. | ||
| He gets on with Olympia, and literally two days later, he's flying to the Middle East, flying to England. | ||
| He said he's gone 300 days a year. | ||
| He's always traveling. | ||
| Yeah, nuts. | ||
| Well, seminars are a big way for a lot of athletes to make money, including MMA guys. | ||
| A lot of guys make a lot of their money. | ||
| A lot of jujitsu guys make a lot of their money. | ||
| Especially jujitsu. | ||
| Yeah, especially jujitsu. | ||
| Jujitsu is huge. | ||
| And jujitsu is one of the few seminars where you could really get something out of it. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| You know, if you go to see a Muay Thai seminar, you might learn a little bit. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| I mean, you could, but a lot of people know a lot about Muay Thai. | ||
| Muay Thai is like repetition, knowledge, sparring, great coaching over long periods of time. | ||
| But jiu-jitsu, a guy could show you one technique and you could tap a guy with it the next week. | ||
| A different setup or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, it's priceless, man. | ||
| One eye-opening thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like, ooh. | |
| I was watching your boy Cyborg roll. | ||
| He was doing some drills the other day. | ||
| Goddamn, that guy flows. | ||
| Freak, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| He was doing this roll from controlling on top, side control, to the truck, to the back, to taking a collar choke from behind. | ||
| It's crazy how he moves. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He's doing Eddie's imitation, is that right? | ||
| I think he's doing Super Fight. | ||
| Jesus Christ, I hope he is. | ||
| I hope he is. | ||
| I'm pretty sure he's doing a super fight. | ||
| Well, that whole Eddie Bravo invitational when they're going to do the open weight, like anybody can compete, the absolute, that's going to be amazing. | ||
| It's going to be nuts. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| I know Onnit's doing one of 165 and under at the Onnit Academy. | ||
| In Austin, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, March 24th. | ||
| Cal and I are doing the play-by-play for that. | ||
| Are you really? | ||
| With a jiu-jitsu guy. | ||
| I was going to say, hopefully, because I'm going to be like... | ||
| You could probably do the jiu-jitsu play-by-play. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Who are you guys dealing with? | ||
| I'm going to have some trouble. | ||
| He's got him now! | ||
| Someone who's running the jiu-jitsu thing. | ||
| Onnit got him. | ||
| That guy's strong. | ||
| Do you know who the jiu-jitsu play-by-play guy is? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I asked him. | ||
| Todd White lives in Onnit. | ||
| Maybe it would be him. | ||
| It's going to be fun, though. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Yeah, jujitsu tournaments of the future. | ||
| I really think so. | ||
| And I think one of the cool things about it, too, is that, you know, me can definitely get injured, definitely get, you know, broken bones and stuff, but you can compete in and not worry about head trauma. | ||
| So I think a lot of people that are interested in martial arts are gravitating towards that because they're realizing now, like, hey, this is probably... | ||
| There's not a lot of options if you want to learn how to fight where you're not going to get your brain rattled. | ||
| There's such a debate now, like in Europe especially, about kids playing rugby and any kind of contact sport. | ||
| Fuck Europe! | ||
| Look at America! | ||
| I mean, it's a very real thing where doctors and academics are going, hold on, like, I know it's a great sport, but you are talking about head trauma to your 14-year-old. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| What that's going to do to him later down the line, we don't know. | ||
| Dude, America is football. | ||
| Chances are you'll probably be fine. | ||
| Well, you're talking about someone who's so young that they don't really understand the repercussions of their current actions. | ||
| And if you're doing something at 14 that might affect you when you're 44, that's kind of crazy. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, but then yet again, this country has a lot of people that play football and they're fine at 44. So, you know, a lot of people play for four years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Deesh. | |
| I don't know about all that. | ||
| I don't know about that. | ||
| Yeah, most of those guys are fucked up. | ||
| They're just fucked up quietly. | ||
| But not if you played in high school. | ||
| Not if you played in high school. | ||
| Dude, a lot of people that they've tested that are high school students have CTE. A lot of them. | ||
| They're finding more and more. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I'm sure it causes damage, but what I'm saying is that it's not as though... | ||
| I don't think the epidemic of people who played football... | ||
| Like if you said, well, most people who played football, even in high school, have brain damage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I bet they do compared to people who didn't. | ||
| Yeah, not only that, here's the thing that there's things like you can be high-functioning, but you can also have like real impulse problems. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And a lot of those real impulse problems are created by head trauma. | ||
| Depression, anger, real lash out, anger issues. | ||
| As a matter of fact, one of the things that O.J. Simpson's doctor said, that if they were doing that same trial today when he was tried for murder, they would probably bring up CTE. Yeah. | ||
| But here's the question. | ||
| If you're going to ban, and it's out there, but if you're going to ban combat sports for kids, you get a lot of benefit from sports that are rough as well, in a way. | ||
| In how it builds character, or it's just a sport you might be built for, and you're really good at it. | ||
| So if you're built like a Samoan, maybe soccer isn't going to be as good for you as football. | ||
| So in a way, you've got to be careful with this stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I agree. | |
| You need some of this stuff. | ||
| Well, it's definitely good to toughen people up. | ||
| It's definitely, I mean, there's no better avenue to teach people discipline and how to be tough than combat sports. | ||
| I think combat sports is, you know, it's the one thing where you have to figure out how to actually get it done. | ||
| There's no maybes, there's no close, there's no you either get it done or you don't get it done. | ||
| Very black and white. | ||
| No one's helping you? | ||
| No one's helping you. | ||
| It's a big thing. | ||
| By yourself, yeah. | ||
| You enter into that ring, he's a referee, and that guy's just there to save your life. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And then there's another dude, and he weighs the same as you. | ||
| Like Taekwondo. | ||
| Guys get knocked out and kicked and stuff, but you get a lot out of getting better at something, especially when the stakes are high. | ||
| You certainly do. | ||
| But I think that if I had to do it all over again, like if I knew what I knew now, and I went back and I was involved in striking sports, I would be way more careful. | ||
| Way more careful about head kicks. | ||
| You know, I kind of got lucky and dodged a lot of trauma, but I know a lot of people who didn't. | ||
| A lot of kickboxers who just fought for nothing. | ||
| I mean, nothing. | ||
| I remember I thought it was cool when they'd go 30 seconds left and the whole gym would turn and watch me and Shane Carwin plant our feet and just slug each other in the head. | ||
| And we'd get done, like, high-five. | ||
| Then I'd get in my car and throw up. | ||
| And Shane would call me and go, dude, I forgot where I was going. | ||
| And at the time, we were like, God, see you tomorrow? | ||
| See you tomorrow! | ||
| Meathead Power! | ||
| You know? | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Then we'd get in our cars and do it again the next day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| I remember playing football in college, and there was a play called 96 Power. | ||
| And they'd go, bring in the shob! | ||
| Bring in the shob! | ||
| I'd come in, and it was me versus this giant linebacker named Brian Ewu, who was a second round or third round draft pick. | ||
| A nightmare. | ||
| And I'd take a running start, and we'd run into each other. | ||
| And everyone would wait and stop. | ||
| That was like my thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Now I think of it, now I think, hey, man! | |
| Hey, man! | ||
| I'm the front guy if it's the Civil War. | ||
| I'm the guy in the front, the idiot. | ||
| Watch this fucking... | ||
| Ewu sounds Samoan. | ||
| Was he Samoan? | ||
| No, he's black as night from Houston, Texas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Close, though. | |
| Brian Ewu. | ||
| It makes you rethink things you've done, obviously, in your past. | ||
| I look at earlier parts of my career, all of my training. | ||
| I have a good chin. | ||
| Granted, I fight, you know, child-sized grown-ups, but... | ||
| You know, when the Lollipop Guild's attacking you, it's not that big of a deal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The mollipop kill. | |
| You learn that... | ||
| You got fucking Lineker. | ||
| Lineker hits hard. | ||
| He hits hard. | ||
| He hits fucking hard. | ||
| And I remember everything in the ring going wonky, like back and forth. | ||
| Fuck, don't attack me right now. | ||
| That hurt. | ||
| I've been hit a lot. | ||
| I put myself in the hospital snowboarding, hitting my head, you know, I've... | ||
| I definitely have some brain damage. | ||
| I wouldn't trade it, though. | ||
| Yeah, I wouldn't trade it for the world. | ||
| I would train different, though. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You guys are both okay right now. | ||
| Like, you're not Muhammad Ali. | ||
| You're not Joe Frazier in his later years. | ||
| We'll see in the later years. | ||
| Well, I think by the time you get old, they're going to have some shit worked out. | ||
| They're going to stick a fucking syringe in your brain, squirt some stem cells in there, and you're going to be good to go. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| They're getting real close. | ||
| I mean, they're getting real close to re-engineering the entire human frame. | ||
| They're getting so close. | ||
| Every day, they move one step closer. | ||
| Within 20, 30 years, they're going to have some cures for all kinds of shit. | ||
| The problem is when you're already, like, at Muhammad Ali's stage or Freddie Roach. | ||
| Game over. | ||
| Yeah, Freddie Roach has functional Parkinson's that's from trauma. | ||
| And, you know, he's open about it. | ||
| He was in wars, man. | ||
| He watched his old fights. | ||
| God. | ||
| That's why he stops fights sooner now. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| He's smart about that. | ||
| Because he goes, I wish my coach would have stopped the fight sooner. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So now, what was his last fight with Cody? | ||
| He's like, I'm going to stop this. | ||
| You got one more ram and I'm going to stop this. | ||
| Well, the guy who fought Kovalev, what's his face? | ||
| The Canadian guy. | ||
| Oh, Pascal. | ||
| Yes, Jean-Pascal, who was just getting boxed up. | ||
| He was doing nothing. | ||
| Well, he was getting the fuck beat out of him. | ||
| You know, I think the first fight took a shitload out of him, and that's something that people do not want to admit. | ||
| When you take the kind of beating that he took in that first fight, and the first fight... | ||
| Arguably was called a hair soon, but it's a hair. | ||
| I mean, his argument was that it was called too soon. | ||
| He's got a great chin. | ||
| He shouldn't have been able to fight. | ||
| He tagged him a few times. | ||
| He could have won that fight. | ||
| He did tag him a few times, but he didn't tag him a few times in that second fight. | ||
| That second fight was the Kovalev show. | ||
| It wasn't even close. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kovalev's a badass. | |
| Straight up ass whooping. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| He moves like a snake. | ||
| He's a murderer. | ||
| He hits so hard. | ||
| He's in and out. | ||
| He's fluid. | ||
| And you know what he likes to do for strength and conditioning? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pilates. | |
| Don't tell me a movement coach. | ||
| Oh, gotcha. | ||
| Pilates. | ||
| He does a lot of Pilates. | ||
| All the hot ass in there. | ||
| He's trying to sling dick. | ||
| He has a white... | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you look at his body, the fact that he hits that hard... | |
| I don't know how he hits that hard. | ||
| It's perfect technique. | ||
| Long limbs. | ||
| Been doing it forever. | ||
| His body is like... | ||
| The body is one thing, but the skeleton is the big thing. | ||
| Skeleton is a giant part of how a guy can punch. | ||
| The size of the hands, the shape of the shoulders, it's a huge, huge factor. | ||
| Which is what makes Conor so good. | ||
| Look at Conor's shoulders and hands. | ||
| His shoulders are, dude, they're huge, man. | ||
| I think he weighed in at 177, 178 right now. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's cut weight to make 170. How about Chuck Liddell? | ||
| Chuck Liddell, he'd get measured and he'd hold his shoulders in, so it said he was 76 inches. | ||
| When he's really 79 and he was standing next to you and I was looking at the- Why would he do that? | ||
| Because he wanted- he didn't want you to know how long his reach was. | ||
| Because he was a dick? | ||
| It's obviously as long as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, Hackleman would tell him to do that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| So that it says his reach is 76 and if all of a sudden he comes out with 79 inches and he's jabbing you or whatever he's doing. | ||
| But you know, I looked at him and how how wide his shoulders were and how big he- he walks around at 230 right now. | ||
| Big motherfucker. | ||
| He's been talking crazy shit about Jon Jones. | ||
| Just wait till he slaps you. | ||
| Chuck's big hands reaching across the table and wham! | ||
| You're like, what the fuck? | ||
| He thinks he would give Jon Jones trouble right now. | ||
| He's a fighter. | ||
| He'll do it. | ||
| You want that out of your fighter. | ||
| That's this thing in his head. | ||
| He still hits the bag and he still has power. | ||
| I think his exact words, if I hit him right now, if I put my hands on him, I'd give him trouble. | ||
| Yes, he said his style would give John Fritz. | ||
| Yeah, and he said that John wouldn't be able to out-wrestle him, which is like... | ||
| It's tough. | ||
| It's tough. | ||
| Well, what are you going to say to the guy? | ||
| The guy's a fucking legend. | ||
| I can't disrespect the diaspora. | ||
| He's retired, and he's been in some crazy-ass wars, and it's over. | ||
| He's earned that right. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| He's earned the right to talk some shit. | ||
| And he can say whatever he wants. | ||
| Yeah, he's earned the right to talk some shit. | ||
| And, you know, John had to respond a little bit. | ||
| Has to. | ||
| But even the way John responded was actually pretty kind. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, he said maybe if Chuck fought a little smarter, we'd have protected his chin. | ||
| He also just put, oh, Chuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Classic. | ||
| That fight's going to be fun. | ||
| Him and Cormier too? | ||
| It's going to be very fun. | ||
| Did you see the photoshops? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So Tyrone Biggums and then what's his name? | ||
|
unidentified
|
So funny. | |
| The cop from... | ||
| Super funny. | ||
| From Die Hard? | ||
| No, no, that's from Die Hard. | ||
| The TV show. | ||
| No, no, that fucking TV show. | ||
| Urkel? | ||
| Urkel, yeah. | ||
| No, it's the same guy, but that's the cop from Die Hard. | ||
| So funny. | ||
| We go back and forth with each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| What do you guys think of a home tape? | ||
| It's a good fight. | ||
| It's a different fight. | ||
| Holly Holm, first of all, is, she's first of all, without a doubt, the best striker in that fucking division. | ||
| No one moons like her. | ||
| Her athleticism, her footwork, her kicks, and the way she's conservative with that head kick, too. | ||
| She waits until she knows it's time, and then ba-booyah! | ||
| She doesn't waste time on it. | ||
| She's not going to just throw it. | ||
| It's calculated as fuck. | ||
| And when she lands it, that's fucking instep to neck. | ||
| So good. | ||
| And if you look at her highlight reel, it's all that, you know, in other smaller organizations. | ||
| Outside the UFC, yeah. | ||
| But Misha Tate fights with a lot of pressure. | ||
| She's tough as shit, and her grappling is really good. | ||
| Super gritty. | ||
| Really gritty. | ||
| She's got to shoot those singles and doubles. | ||
| Well, maybe. | ||
| Just close the distance. | ||
| But here's one thing she has to do. | ||
| She can't run in. | ||
| What Rhonda did is play right into the strengths of Holly. | ||
| Holly's a fantastic counter-striker. | ||
| And Rhonda just wanted to overwhelm her with pressure and power and take her out. | ||
| And she got cracked early and often. | ||
| And by the end of the first round, she was seeing Tweety Birds and all kinds of shit. | ||
| She probably had no idea what the fuck was going on. | ||
| Misha's not going to fight like that. | ||
| She's just not. | ||
| She can't. | ||
| She's going to fight hands up high, and she's going to fight more conservative. | ||
| And I keep going to the Raquel Pennington fight, which was Holly's first fight in the UFC, where she won a very close split decision. | ||
| And this is not taking anything away from Raquel, because Raquel is a badass bitch. | ||
| All due respect to Raquel. | ||
| UFC jitters, son. | ||
| Yeah, UFC jitters are a big factor. | ||
| I think that probably played a big factor. | ||
| But also, Raquel's just real tough and real smart and, you know, didn't rush in. | ||
| I think the rushing in factor was a big part of that fight. | ||
| Ronda just charging straight forward like a fucking wild animal, and then Holly moving and cracking her. | ||
| It's the worst thing you can do. | ||
| And with a technician, what do you do? | ||
| You make it a freaking gritty fight. | ||
| That's what Misha does best. | ||
| Well, she's got a clincher, and I don't know if she's going to win that clinch. | ||
| For her to shoot a double or a single, from that distance, she's going to get sprawled on. | ||
| People have done it before, though, B. No one's taking Holly down in the UFC. No one's taking her down, but you look at previous three fights in the UFC, people can get her to the cage. | ||
| Sure, but then you got her in a clinch, and I think Holly's stronger than Misha. | ||
| I mean, it's going to be tough for her. | ||
| I don't know about the wrestling aspect stronger. | ||
| I mean, she hits harder, but Misha's a tank. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you, my friend Justin, Justin Milos, who's a brown belt, you know, a Division I wrestler, serious fucking athlete. | ||
| He said that Holly feels like a dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| He said he's rolled with both of them. | ||
| He both rolled with Holly and with Ronda. | ||
| And he's like, there's no comparison. | ||
| He's like, Holly is strong as fuck. | ||
| You can see it. | ||
| He's like, she's really strong. | ||
| I think Holly wins. | ||
| I just think it's a different fight. | ||
| It's a tougher fight for Holly. | ||
| It's a different puzzle to figure out. | ||
| It's all about matchups. | ||
| I don't think that she gets destroyed like Ronda did. | ||
| I don't think she gets outclassed like Ronda did. | ||
| I think it's a closer fight, but Holly still comes out on top. | ||
| Well, you know, the other thing is that Holly went through a camp for Ronda, like no camp she ever went through before. | ||
| And she said she trained so fucking hard for that, and you see the results of that. | ||
| I think she's going to do the exact same thing for this camp. | ||
| So if she goes into this fight with that same kind of training camp behind her, and is just in fucking phenomenal shape, like she was for the Ronda Rousey fight, she might box the shit out of me. | ||
| There's more pressure on Holly now. | ||
| Because we expect her to be, you know, she's this, it's not a one-time thing. | ||
| She wasn't a one-trick pony. | ||
| She wasn't just a flash in the pan. | ||
| I think for her, there's more pressure to perform now. | ||
| Because with Ronda, she's such a big underdog, he's like, ah, she doesn't get murked. | ||
| Beats the fuck out of her. | ||
| Now we're like, damn, Holly's for reals. | ||
| Now there's pressure on her. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe. | |
| But she's had that pressure for her. | ||
| Yeah, she's a 19-time. | ||
| Not like this, my man. | ||
| What about this? | ||
| Women's boxing? | ||
| When's the last time you watched it? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's in a high school auditorium. | ||
| It's still a big deal for her, though. | ||
| She's still there. | ||
| It's not the same, brother. | ||
| It's that you're not doing press conference. | ||
| You're not the champ. | ||
| You don't have everyone gunning for you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Holly's ready. | |
| Holly's ready for this. | ||
| But another thing that's taking pressure off her is that most people are paying attention to Conor. | ||
| For this fight, they're talking to her a little bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
100%. | |
| This is the Conor McGregor show. | ||
| Let me ask you guys this question. | ||
| The rest of the card, what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a weird question. | ||
| Meanwhile, there's good fights. | ||
| We'll pull up the card. | ||
| There's good fights. | ||
| This is a great card. | ||
| It's not just a good card for those two fights. | ||
| It's the Conor show, though. | ||
| It's the Conor show, but let's pull up this card, Jamie. | ||
| There's a fucking bunch of good fights on this card. | ||
| Dude, look at me. | ||
| You know, here's one that everyone's sleeping on. | ||
| Amanda Nunez. | ||
| That is the dark horse of the division, friends. | ||
| She's so tough. | ||
| I think Amanda Nunez is a fucking knockout machine. | ||
| She is tough as fuck. | ||
| Great striking. | ||
| And she's taking on this Valentina Shevchenko chick who is tough as fuck, too, and a multiple-time world Muay Thai champion. | ||
| That's a tough fight for her. | ||
| Let's calm down on that posture, though, huh, Valentina? | ||
| No, she's rushing, bro. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Proud and proud. | ||
| Amanda Nunez is so athletic and her striking is amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's badass. | |
| She hits fucking hard. | ||
| I watched that Sarah McMahon fight again. | ||
| She's got a piston of a right hand. | ||
| She might be the biggest one-punch striker in that division. | ||
| She's tough as fuck. | ||
| But, you know, you look at her and then you look at the entire division. | ||
| I think this fight is a big fight for her because Valentina, she also went through her UFC jitters. | ||
| She was like real stiff and awkward and she was telling herself that in between rounds in her first fight. | ||
| I don't think she's going to be like that coming into this fight. | ||
| She still looked good. | ||
| Your strike can look good. | ||
| Here's another fight everybody's sleeping on. | ||
| Your boy Brandon Thatch and Bahur Durzada. | ||
| That's a good fight. | ||
| I think loser gets its walking papers. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| I wouldn't give either one of these guys their walking papers. | ||
| You're not Joe Silva, sir. | ||
| They're both exciting to watch. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| These are great fighters, man. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| C.R. Barradezada? | ||
| Yeah, so he hasn't fought in almost two years. | ||
| He's had some time off. | ||
| He got hurt. | ||
| What happened to him? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| I know he got hurt. | ||
| And then Thatch has lost two in a row, but they're two short notice fights. | ||
| He had a change in Gunnar Nelson, and they had to fight Ben Henderson. | ||
| Yeah, well, he got clipped in the Nelson fight. | ||
| Gunnar surprised him with that left hook. | ||
| That was a big punch, and then submitted him. | ||
| That was a big fight. | ||
| For Thatch, though, man. | ||
| I'm telling you, if people could see him in the gym, it's like, dude, what the fuck? | ||
| Is he too big? | ||
| Harry's incredible. | ||
| He's not too big. | ||
| It's always been a discipline issue for him, and it's always been, is he in the fight? | ||
| Because in the UFC, you can't, man. | ||
| You just can't have a night off and beat Gunnar Nelson. | ||
| You can't not be focused and be in a striking range of a top 10 or top 15 guy and not get knocked out. | ||
| But in losing all that weight to get down to 170, what does he walk around at? | ||
| He's at 190. That's it? | ||
| Yeah, but shredded. | ||
| He looks so big. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Shredded. | ||
| He looks like he's a light heavyweight. | ||
| He's tall, but he's thin. | ||
| But he's a lot of muscle. | ||
| Yeah, because I look at him and he looks to me almost like a light heavyweight. | ||
| He's a big boy. | ||
| 185. I'm telling you, he's not a light heavyweight. | ||
| No, I believe you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, obviously, he's fighting at 170. He makes the weight. | ||
| Yeah, but you never know. | ||
| Some guys are killing themselves. | ||
| The two times I've seen a fight, he does seem so relaxed before the fight. | ||
| Like, it might be the way he deals with nerves, but he's almost like talking to people, and he looks way more casual than most fighters. | ||
| Holy shit, go back to that. | ||
| Early prelims. | ||
| Look at this, early prelims. | ||
| His dad's a badass. | ||
| Jim Miller and Diego fucking Sanchez. | ||
| I know, son. | ||
| That's going to be a war. | ||
| How is that a prelim fight, by the way? | ||
| That's early prelims. | ||
| That's fight pass, bro. | ||
| UFC pass ratings, son. | ||
| How is that? | ||
| Trying to get that UFC pass up. | ||
| Trying to get everybody to buy UFC fight pass. | ||
| And Diego Sanchez versus Jim Miller is a great way to get that done. | ||
| Might do it. | ||
| That's third fight of the night, folks. | ||
| Grind. | ||
| Ooh, Diego Sanchez is such a fucking barbarian. | ||
| If that guy was put on this earth, he'd do one thing. | ||
| It's go to war. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| He is such an animal. | ||
| Dude, don't sleep on Eric Silva and Talib. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's another good fight. | ||
| That's a very good—Nordine Talib's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| First team all body, Eric Silva fell off. | ||
| Well, yeah, he— Talib took his spot. | ||
| His body's changed a little bit. | ||
| A little? | ||
| Well, I don't want to talk about it, but he did lose his apple bottom, and he doesn't seem quite as shredded. | ||
| I wonder if he would pass the smell test. | ||
| Yeah, he was a shredded animal before. | ||
| He was freaky looking. | ||
| Yeah, at one point in time, he was ridiculously shredded. | ||
| Probably a lot of flies. | ||
| I don't think so, dude. | ||
| I think he was... | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| He ate 20 pounds of red meat a day, and he realized it was clogging his colon. | ||
| He lives in a country where you can just get that stuff. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| A lot of meat. | ||
| There's a lot of cattle. | ||
| Vitamins and minerals. | ||
| Acai, when you eat a lot of acai and a lot of beef. | ||
| It's interesting watching all this happen though, isn't it? | ||
| Watching guys' bodies change, watching their performances change. | ||
| I like it because it doesn't make me feel as bad about my body. | ||
| I like the word as. | ||
|
unidentified
|
As? | |
| Yeah, like you're still comparing to UFC fighters? | ||
| As, not as bad. | ||
| How about the obliques on Talib? | ||
| He's a stud. | ||
| Super stud, yeah. | ||
| Congratulations on your... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Strong motherfucker too. | |
| Calvin Klein obliques. | ||
| Strong motherfucker. | ||
| That guy is an animal. | ||
| The Schaub haircut? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's down. | |
| But he's from France. | ||
| I don't know if I can... | ||
| Can't get behind French people? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How dare you. | |
| He's probably Arabic. | ||
| Chex my boy. | ||
| He's Arabic who Who was raised in France. | ||
| I'm just saying obnoxious shit. | ||
| Now you got to bring out my friends. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Who is that guy that George St. Pierre brought in with him to train? | ||
| Oh, he's drunk smoking cigarettes? | ||
| Yeah, the French Muay Thai guy who's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Jean something or another. | ||
| I forget his name. | ||
| I forget him too, but on The Ultimate Fighter, George told everyone, man, if you're smart with this guy, don't fucking hit him hard, man, because you piss him off, you're going to be in trouble. | ||
| Yeah, be nice. | ||
| Meanwhile, he has the ultimate dad bod. | ||
| That guy's body. | ||
| That ain't a dad bod. | ||
| You can't call that dad bod. | ||
| He looks like Yellow Bastard. | ||
| He looks like Yellow Bastard from Sin City. | ||
| No, there's nothing. | ||
| Who is this? | ||
| Who? | ||
| This Muay Thai champion that George St. Pierre brought in. | ||
| Oh, that guy with a belly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Drinks, smokes nonstop. | ||
| I forget his name, man. | ||
| He was kicking the shite out of everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He knocked some dude down. | |
| He smelled like booze. | ||
| He'd come in drunk. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He would come in drunk. | ||
| Like... | ||
| Up all night, partying, going to, like a Thai fighter. | ||
| Or the Dutch. | ||
| Or the Dutch. | ||
| Or French, apparently, too. | ||
| Just all night in Vegas, going to parties, having a good time. | ||
| And then fucking these young, tough kids up during the day. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| All that crazy behavior that these guys used to engage in, you know. | ||
| Can't get away with it. | ||
| Too many cell phones these days. | ||
| Like, if these guys are trying to do that today, trying to go out and get crazy today. | ||
| Look at Johnny Manziel. | ||
| The football player, he was the Heisman winner. | ||
| First round draft pick. | ||
| The dude likes to party. | ||
| He likes to party so much. | ||
| Cleveland Brown's like, yo, if you party, man, we're going to cut you. | ||
| This fucking guy goes to Vegas under a hidden name and wears a wig and a mustache. | ||
| But he looks like... | ||
| Everyone's like, oh, it's Johnny Manziel. | ||
| No. | ||
| And then it goes online in Cleveland Browns. | ||
| He's going to get cut. | ||
| That ain't me. | ||
| That's a dude with a mustache. | ||
| That ain't me. | ||
| I'm telling you. | ||
| I ain't Johnny Manziel. | ||
| He partied with a wig. | ||
| Is this the guy? | ||
| That's him. | ||
| He was a stud in high school. | ||
| Charlie Football reportedly partied in a blonde wig, fake mustache and glasses. | ||
| How can they tell you you can't party? | ||
| This is what they can tell you. | ||
| Your performance was unsatisfactory. | ||
| You're cut. | ||
| That's what they can tell you. | ||
| They can't tell you you can't go have a good time. | ||
| This is the prom, Joe. | ||
| What? | ||
| He's partying every fucking night. | ||
| What if he's drinking water? | ||
| What if he just likes to dance? | ||
| Is this part of his cardio? | ||
| No, he's actually an alcoholic. | ||
| He's been in and out of rehab. | ||
| He's got a movement coach, and his movement coach wants him to fucking... | ||
| Now you're talking. | ||
| ...two-step on the dance floor. | ||
| Now you're talking. | ||
| That's what he's missing. | ||
| You fucking movement coach trolled the other day on Twitter. | ||
| I was howling. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| What was your exact quote? | ||
| You believe in... | ||
| I said, if you think Anderson Silva's going to beat Michael Bisping in a decision in the UK, then you obviously believe in dragons and movement coaches. | ||
| People got mad at you because they were like, Dragons existed, dude, there's plenty of evidence. | ||
| No, they got mad at the movement coach thing. | ||
| They think I'm hating on Conor, I'm not at all. | ||
| Or Port, what's his name? | ||
| Ido Portal. | ||
| I'm not at all. | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| Conor's fans are the most fucking easily butthurt people ever. | ||
| I talk so much shit on everybody else, Ronda, all this stuff, and I get some stuff. | ||
| All I said about Conor, I said, hey, guess what? | ||
| Frankie Edgar's coming for you. | ||
| He didn't say anything, of course. | ||
| I had so many asshole fans. | ||
| I don't know what country they were from or what. | ||
| Probably Ireland, buddy. | ||
| Fuck you, you piece of shit! | ||
| Bow to the king! | ||
| You need to fucking kiss the ring! | ||
| They say fuck with two O's. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| I've never had such an onslaught of just shit-talking because I said that you have a fight coming. | ||
| There's an identity thing going on there. | ||
| They're identifying with this guy in a way that... | ||
| You know, you remember when you were a kid, and I don't know how it was with you, but when I was a kid, I would identify with a fighter. | ||
| And if that fighter lost, I was devastated. | ||
| And I remember the day I let it go. | ||
| Donald Curry fought Mike McCallum. | ||
| And I was a giant Donald Curry fan. | ||
| Man, I love Donald Curry. | ||
| And Mike McCallum hit him with a left hook to the body and then a left hook up top and shut the lights out. | ||
| And he went fucking flat backwards, arms over the top of his head. | ||
| And I went, fuck! | ||
| And I put on my running shoes, and I went out running. | ||
| And I ran a couple miles, and I remember when I came back home, I said, I am never getting upset over some fucking dude I don't even know losing ever again. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| I'm just gonna enjoy the fights. | ||
| So to this day, when I call fights, unless it's like, you fucking... | ||
| Guys, luckily you're not doing it anymore. | ||
| But you, when you fucking fight. | ||
| Or someone I care about, it's hard. | ||
| You know, because I try not to be... | ||
| But when I watch... | ||
| If I watch Anderson and Bisping, I want to watch a fight. | ||
| I want to see what happens. | ||
| I don't have a dog in the race. | ||
| I want to see... | ||
| And if Anderson knocks him out, or if Bisping knocks him out... | ||
| You don't care. | ||
| I like the performance. | ||
| I like watching a performance. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It changed for me at that day. | ||
| That's so interesting. | ||
| I remember mine was... | ||
| I was mad at myself. | ||
| My brother was... | ||
| We weren't into fighting. | ||
| I thought Jean-Claude Van Damme was the man. | ||
| I thought that shit was real. | ||
| He is and was. | ||
| He still is. | ||
| But for me, it was... | ||
| He is and was. | ||
| Mine was... | ||
| Mine was Magic Johnson. | ||
| My brother was Michael Jordan. | ||
| When Magic Johnson got AIDS, I started crying. | ||
| And my mom had to explain AIDS to me. | ||
| I was young, man. | ||
| Me and my brother both bawling, man. | ||
| But guys like that don't just represent... | ||
| Conor McGregor doesn't just represent himself. | ||
| Conor McGregor represents a couple of things. | ||
| One is possibility, like self-belief, and the idea, the gall to say that I'm going to be a champion, coming out of nowhere and do it. | ||
| But also, like, you have to look at where, like, Ireland, they did a really interesting thing about, during the financial crisis, like, with the Greeks and people, like, taking to the streets and, you know, freaking out. | ||
| The Irish are quiet sufferers. | ||
| The Irish are very stoic people. | ||
| They don't show off. | ||
| They don't make a big deal about their own issues and pain. | ||
| It's very un-Irish. | ||
| You get a guy like Conor McGregor all of a sudden to come, and they've had the shit end of the stick. | ||
| For a lot of their history. | ||
| And so when you get a guy like Conor McGregor to come along and go, hey, by the way, I'm going to beat everybody and I'm fucking Irish. | ||
| So I'm taking over. | ||
| For the first time in a long time, the Irish are like, holy fuck, this guy is speaking for us and, by the way, unifying us. | ||
| That's a big... | ||
| Historically... | ||
| He's actually, in a lot of ways... | ||
| I'm probably going to get shit for this. | ||
| He's like Jesus. | ||
| He's historically significant to the Irish and the Irish character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He kind of is. | |
| You're not going to get shit for that at all. | ||
| I think you're entirely right. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| There's a reason it's so loud in Boston and stuff. | ||
| Preach, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Preach! | |
| Because he is. | ||
| He's the guy who said, hey, it's our turn. | ||
| And who says we have to be quiet and keep our heads down? | ||
| This is the real shit. | ||
| That's the real Steve. | ||
| It's about goddamn time. | ||
| When I went to Ireland to fight, and this was Conor's, what, second, third fight in the UFC? Yeah, I think it was second. | ||
| You know, people knew who he was. | ||
| Third. | ||
| They obviously, they had this show, he's headlining. | ||
| I get there, wander around, get in a cab. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| Oh, you're fighting? | ||
| Okay, are you here for Connor? | ||
| Like... | ||
| Uh, sure, yeah, I'm fucking here for Connor. | ||
| Who are you fighting? | ||
| I'm like, okay, wait for it. | ||
| I'm fighting an Englishman. | ||
| Fuck him! | ||
| Hope he dies! | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, and I'm fucking, you know, what's your name? | ||
| Ian McCall. | ||
| Oh, you're a good Irish boy. | ||
| I'm like, I'm not, but sure, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Definitely not. | |
| And they... | ||
| They thought I was a fucking leprechaun or something. | ||
| Oh, Ian McCall! | ||
| A leprechaun! | ||
| What part of Ireland are you from? | ||
| Lebanon! | ||
|
unidentified
|
And this was just before he was a big, big thing. | |
| They were already fucking behind him so much, and now he is who he is. | ||
| Like you said, he is a... | ||
| He's changing the game. | ||
| Yeah, completely. | ||
| His second fight in the UFC, I believe, was in Boston. | ||
| I think it was his second fight. | ||
| And was his second fight Max Holloway? | ||
| Which is the second fight? | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| No, the first fight was Brimage, maybe? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The first fight was Brimage. | ||
| Whatever the fight was that I called, I don't believe I called this first fight. | ||
| I think I called the second fight. | ||
| But I remember being there going, this is nuts, man. | ||
| This guy is on the undercard. | ||
| He's on the undercard. | ||
| So loud. | ||
| And they're going fucking crazy. | ||
| And I think it's because also Boston is a giant Irish community, right? | ||
| But there was just something about this guy. | ||
| I was like, this is nuts. | ||
| The momentum had already started way more than anybody I'd ever seen fighting on the undercard. | ||
| But another thing that's going on with Connor is that everybody knows the stakes are much higher because of the shit-talking he does. | ||
| See, all this shit-talking is fantastic when you pull it off, but everybody knows that if he doesn't pull it off, if Nate fucking sleeps him, if Nate connects with a straight left-right hook and we see the fucking chicken dance out of Connor... | ||
| It ain't cute anymore. | ||
| Not always is it not cute, but you better stay offline for a couple weeks. | ||
| Stay offline! | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| That's what I mean! | ||
| He's got guts! | ||
| I know you and Rhonda aren't close anymore, you don't talk to her, but I couldn't imagine, just what I saw when I was online, the barrage of hate. | ||
| I got hate for Rhonda, for telling people that she was great, for expressing my, being impressed with her performances. | ||
| The amount of hate she got was a wave. | ||
| Just a wave. | ||
| Just a fucking... | ||
| But it might be different, though, because Rhonda was such a... | ||
| She was not a very gracious winner. | ||
| You know, if you look at her when she's climbing rocks in that competition in the Ultimate Fighter, and she's giving Misha the finger, it was so aggressive. | ||
| And then to not shake her hand, and then to say what she said about Holly, about being a fake-ass preacher's daughter and stuff, that kind of stuff wasn't witty. | ||
| It was just a lot of venom. | ||
| It's very hurtful. | ||
| Where people don't like it, man. | ||
| Because then you're being a bully. | ||
| You're being a bully. | ||
| It's fear. | ||
| People know that when she was doing that with Holly, there was a fear. | ||
| And she was trying to put that fear into Holly. | ||
| And the worst thing in the world is Holly just standing out there. | ||
| Holly said, huh? | ||
| Dead-faced. | ||
| Drinking her water. | ||
| She didn't even pulse at me. | ||
| Oh, that's cute. | ||
| This judoka's going to try and strike with me. | ||
| I'm going to kick you in the face, bitch. | ||
| I like that you use the word judoka. | ||
| Here's a question to you guys who are fighters. | ||
| What about this idea? | ||
| What if Misha Tate crawled on a three-point stance, literally crawled toward Holly Holm because she couldn't get kicked. | ||
| Jon Jones style? | ||
| Right, and just grabbed her ankle-picked, single-double. | ||
| She won't be there. | ||
| She's going to punch her in the face. | ||
| She's going to punch her in the face like this. | ||
| She's going to kick her arms. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| That's not a viable... | ||
| She can't, though. | ||
| You can kick those arms. | ||
| Oh, she can, actually. | ||
| Kick the shit out of those arms. | ||
| Let me tell you something, dude. | ||
| If you're on all fours and someone kicks your arms, that is horrific. | ||
| Then your dumb ass has to get up and fight with one arm. | ||
| Forget it, guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry. | |
| That's my strategy. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Misha, don't do that. | |
| She's probably listening. | ||
| Misha, don't do that. | ||
| It's a bad idea. | ||
| What if Misha climbed on top of the octagon and leaped to the center of the... | ||
| What if Misha has a knife, guys? | ||
| You ever thought about that? | ||
| Well, you can't do that. | ||
| What if Misha knows ninjutsu? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What if she used sleeping dust? | ||
| Yeah, there's not a whole lot of things that haven't been tried. | ||
| Hey, what if Misha won and Conor got knocked down in like 15 seconds? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Does Dana shed a tear? | ||
| No! | ||
| Just keep on trucking? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Keep on trucking. | ||
| Conor's still the fucking featherweight champion. | ||
| Not the same. | ||
| You're batshit crazy if you think that aura is still there. | ||
| No, not the same. | ||
| But, look, the Irish people are still going to support him. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| He's fighting at 70. I agree, Joe, but it's not the same. | ||
| Fighting at 70. That aura is gone. | ||
| If he can win a rematch. | ||
| He's lost before. | ||
| He lost to Joe Duffy. | ||
| Not in the UFC. We've never seen him. | ||
| And he lost to a 25-er. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He did? | |
| That little Russian guy who leg-locked him was a 25-er. | ||
| Really? | ||
| You're living in the past, though. | ||
| I'm talking now they just make a superstar. | ||
| He's a 25-er? | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Wow. | ||
| It was a long time ago. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| There's 25ers that can submit me. | ||
| You know, get a hold of my shit. | ||
| You and me both. | ||
| Get a hold of my legs. | ||
| See ya. | ||
| If you tap, you know. | ||
| You know, there's guys that, like, it doesn't matter. | ||
| If they get you in certain positions, there's certain positions that some guys have, they catch you in it, like, Ronnie Yaya. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| That guy gets a hold of your foot. | ||
| He's a tiny little dude. | ||
| He's also an ultimate dad bod guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Tiny little dude. | ||
| A team constrictor, you know, that's what they call themselves. | ||
| That is an apt name. | ||
| Because if that motherfucker gets a hold of your neck, man, you got some fucking problems, lad. | ||
| Paul Harris in your ankle. | ||
| Speak for yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, Paul Harris versus Gary Tonin in that submission-only match at Polaris. | ||
| Gary Tonin, that motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| I hope he's getting paid well for that. | ||
| Gary Tonin is the favorite in that fight. | ||
| Isn't Kerry Tone the guy who beat everybody at the Eddie Bravo? | ||
| He's the favorite. | ||
| He's the favorite there. | ||
| He's going to wrestle with Paul Harris. | ||
| Don't say wrestle. | ||
| I mean, he's going to grapple with them. | ||
| Yeah, a submission grappling match. | ||
| I don't know if they have a weight limitation, which could be a giant issue, because Paul Harris gets way up into the 200s before he fights. | ||
| He fought at 185. It's the first fight in the UFC. Are they going to test him? | ||
| What? | ||
| They're going to make sure he's on steroids. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu don't have time for that bullshit. | ||
| Time for testing. | ||
| They want you to be on steroids. | ||
| I want to quit everything. | ||
| I want to do steroids and I want to do jiu-jitsu all day and be 55. First of all, how about first take a class? | ||
| No, just get on steroids and start entering competitions. | ||
| Just squeeze people. | ||
| That's what I'm going to do. | ||
| I'm going to lose gracefully. | ||
| Hey, at the on it thing, just jump on the mat. | ||
| We got a super match. | ||
| Brian the Kid Callen. | ||
| Fucking loose pajamas that come off in the middle of rolling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Hold on, guys, guys, guys. | ||
| Time, time, time. | ||
| Time out, guys. | ||
| Your hogs fucking wipe it all over the mat. | ||
| Do you see that happen to a combine guy? | ||
| We talked a little bit about it. | ||
| His dick came out. | ||
| You know the combine, right? | ||
| They're in tights. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Giant black guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Douche! | |
| Run the 40! | ||
| Fat-ass pterodactyl dick comes out the front. | ||
| Then he fucking falls and eats shit on the turf. | ||
| It was a three-piece set. | ||
| And look at this girl who's talking about it. | ||
| Crystal, watch this, watch this. | ||
| He's a stud. | ||
| She's getting very excited about this guy's hog. | ||
| But he's got a piece on him. | ||
| Oh, they blurred it out! | ||
| How dare you, Crystal? | ||
| They blurted it out. | ||
| You gotta find the real deal out there, young Jamie. | ||
| It's on the floor. | ||
| Dude, it looks like a pterodactyl going down for prey. | ||
| It's all black. | ||
| Or taking us. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| It's like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It looks like he conjured a spirit out of the ground. | |
| Now fuck that. | ||
| It's like on Jurassic Park where the pterodactyls are taking people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, here he goes. | |
| Go full screen, son. | ||
| Let's see this. | ||
| Let's get this in our face. | ||
| It comes out right here, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| He's looking at his own dick. | ||
| He's like, no, oh shit, my shit. | ||
| He got that turf dick because he scraped that chocolate dick on that turf. | ||
| You'll see. | ||
| Did they let him do it again? | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Here, hold this. | ||
| Look at how they show it. | ||
| He's like, uh-oh, uh-oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch this right here. | |
| What a hug on this young man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes, son. | |
| Chris Jones back in the heat. | ||
| Do you know how many Instagram fucking pussy pictures he must have gotten? | ||
| How many girls just sent him photos? | ||
| Ass pics slid into his DMs? | ||
| Face down. | ||
| Ass up. | ||
| Oh, you're that guy. | ||
| Let's make this happen. | ||
| You're the dick turf guy. | ||
| Let's make this happen, dick turf guy. | ||
| Before you run that comment, like, what's the worst that can happen? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's not like your dick's gonna come out or anything. | ||
| Good point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll go run. | |
| The sheer volume of cock when he was getting up that you see. | ||
| The mass. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| I don't know if you guys ever had turf burn on your dick? | ||
| Are you kidding me? | ||
| Heard a turf toe, but not a turf dick. | ||
| Why did he choose to fall dick first like that? | ||
| I don't think he meant to. | ||
| For sure roll, though. | ||
| I definitely think he fell forward to cover his dick. | ||
| Probably. | ||
| He knew if it came out of his shorts, it was going to the ground. | ||
| Why don't you just let everybody see his dick? | ||
| If I had a dick like that, I'd be fucking ripping my pants every day. | ||
| I'd be fine. | ||
| He falls down, he gets up, he tells the coach, he goes, my dick fell out. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| Here it is. | ||
| Watch the get up. | ||
| Freeze frame on this pterodactyl jamie. | ||
| We went right to count. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| What in the fuck? | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| That dude needs one of them diamond cups just to contain that. | ||
| I don't see a problem with it. | ||
| There's no problem. | ||
| Or a fucking sleeping bag. | ||
| He tells the coach, he goes, damn, my dick fell out. | ||
| I'll tell you what, that's just reinforcing stereotypes. | ||
| I wasn't surprised. | ||
| I wasn't like, oh my god, he has a giant dick. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, that's about right. | ||
| I didn't miss a beat. | ||
| I was like, oh, that's cool. | ||
| That's one of those stereotypes that people don't have a problem with. | ||
| If that was a white guy, I'd be like, oh shit, I would have jumped out of my fucking seat like Showtime kicked someone in the face off the cage. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Polish guy with a fat white dick. | |
| Fat, angry, snorting smoke. | ||
| Like a dragon in his pants. | ||
| Like a dragon. | ||
| Big, fat, pale, white, blue-veined dick. | ||
| You know what makes me laugh right now? | ||
| You know what cracks me up right now? | ||
| Someone's listening to the show going, I thought it was a breakdown in the fights. | ||
| They've just been talking about dick girls. | ||
| They're talking about a dragon in this guy's pants. | ||
| That's how it goes, folks. | ||
| That's what's really funny when people get angry at this podcast. | ||
| They get angry. | ||
| They're angry at some of the shit that we say. | ||
| What do you say when you're with your friends and you're drinking? | ||
| What do you say? | ||
| Talk about dicks 90% of the time. | ||
| People get so angry at that Dada 5000 thing. | ||
| Because they got so angry that I mentioned fried chicken. | ||
| Don't be mad at us. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Be mad he died fighting MMA. But here's the thing that's crazy. | |
| They were upset at me that I mentioned fried chicken because they said that's racist. | ||
| But they weren't upset that we're making fun of a guy who is still in the hospital. | ||
| Like, this is how crazy people's priorities are. | ||
| That, first of all, fried chicken is not racist. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's delicious. | |
| I love fried chicken. | ||
| It is a great food. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
| It's fatty for you. | ||
| It's not necessarily the best food for you, but that's not racist. | ||
| What racist is, is claiming or pretending that one race is superior to another race. | ||
| That's not what fried chicken is. | ||
| Fried chicken is just food. | ||
| And it was an example of a bad diet while he's overweight and cutting all this weight and look like shit fighting. | ||
| There's so many people that are looking forward to being angry so quick. | ||
| They need a reason. | ||
| They're just looking forward to being upset. | ||
| If I was fat and someone was saying, you meatball-eating motherfucker, I'd be like, yeah, I like meatballs. | ||
| Is that so bad because I'm Italian? | ||
| You're genuinely not... | ||
| I remember one time, I actually remember asking you this, so interesting, because you came from Boston, kind of working class, kind of rough, and I never heard, and I'd known you for probably three years, this is way back, and I remember, I said, I'd never heard you say, you say bad things about people, but I never heard you once. | ||
| You're fucking mean, but you're not racist. | ||
| Basically, he's a ball of hate, but I never heard you say anything off-color, not once. | ||
| I never heard you say a prejudiced thing in any way. | ||
| And I remember saying to you, I go, you know, you never, I've never heard you make an off-color joke about any race, black people, anything else. | ||
| And you said it never made any sense to me. | ||
| You said, I can show you a whole lot of really dumb white people where I grew up. | ||
| It's all about socialization. | ||
| I don't know if you remember that. | ||
| I don't, but that's how I feel. | ||
| It never made sense. | ||
| It's culture. | ||
| I think it's obvious, though. | ||
| And with Dada, if Dada was white and you went, ah, fucking fried chicken, Pepsi drinking, no one's going to say shit. | ||
| This is how I feel about the Dada thing. | ||
| What I do feel bad about is that the guy's still in the hospital. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| Don't want anything bad to happen to him. | ||
| I don't want anything bad to happen to him. | ||
| I'm glad he's okay. | ||
| And genuinely, all we were doing was joking around and having fun, because that's what we do. | ||
| And if people construed that as racism, because I mentioned chicken, please substitute it for pizza. | ||
| That's what I meant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whatever you want. | |
| My intent is what's important. | ||
| People are like, you were trying to be funny by saying fried chicken. | ||
| Yes, I was. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But I don't think that's racist. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| It's food. | ||
| And it's funny. | ||
| That whole situation, you know how when you do something crazy and people go, but did you die? | ||
| Yeah, bitch. | ||
| Dada died. | ||
| Dada died. | ||
| Well, his heart stopped. | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
| Here's the thing, man. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And everyone's saying that we shouldn't have been making fun of his weight and his family was saying that he was only two or three pounds over the week of the fight. | ||
| Well then, there's even less excuses. | ||
| Because if you're that much, if you're only two or three pounds, you're only cutting two or three pounds away to fight, he's just unprepared. | ||
| Whoever did it, they were upset at us that we were making fun of his MMA training or strength and conditioning coach. | ||
| But this is based on the performance. | ||
| Look, we have to. | ||
| This is a co-main event, and there's something... | ||
| Bigger at stake. | ||
| Like, all due respect to Dada, this is my feelings on the Dada thing. | ||
| Here's the good thing. | ||
| Here's a compliment that I will give him. | ||
| That guy never quit. | ||
| His fucking heart had to give out. | ||
| That guy never quit. | ||
| He didn't have any endurance, but he still fought three fucking hard rounds, and he had nothing in the tank. | ||
| But he never quit. | ||
| There's a lot of opportunities for him to stay down. | ||
| He never quit. | ||
| He showed a lot of heart. | ||
| I like the way you think, Joe. | ||
| But he wasn't trained properly. | ||
| He wasn't prepared properly. | ||
| He doesn't have the skill set. | ||
| He wasn't ready. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| And if you walk into that magnitude of a fight and you have titties hanging, I'm gonna make a comment. | ||
| But I make a comment like that about Roy Nelson, too, all the time. | ||
| I do it about Roy Nelson all the time. | ||
| I've always said that Roy Nelson's gut is like he's wearing like 30 sweaters and that it's all like you're hitting cheeseburgers. | ||
| You're not even hitting him. | ||
| You're hitting all this shit that he needs. | ||
| You know, that's okay because I'm white and Roy's white, but those fights are not good for the sport. | ||
| And this is why they're not good for the sport. | ||
| You're taking two guys that look bad. | ||
| Their endurance and conditioning was terrible. | ||
| The scrambles were awful. | ||
| Like when one time Kimbo took him down and just got on top of him and they're just laying on top of each other. | ||
| Very amateur. | ||
| It's just so, it's so bush leagues that there's no way that anybody who watches that, like say if you're a boxing fan and you watch like, did you see Terrence Crawford the other night? | ||
| That motherfucker. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Good luck beating that dude. | ||
| God damn he's good. | ||
| He murked that dude. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| And you know what man, his switch, he'll fight you orthodox. | ||
| There's no one better. | ||
| And then he'll switch southpaw. | ||
| I mean it's like Marvin Hagler almost. | ||
| Like that level of switch. | ||
| His ability to fight from either stance. | ||
| He just needs a big Like a mainstream fight. | ||
| Yeah, so if you're a boxing fan and you watch that fight and then you say, well, let me check out what this MMA shit's all about and then you go and watch the Kimbo Dada fight. | ||
| You're going to throw up. | ||
| You're going to throw up. | ||
| Like, this is an embarrassment to the sport. | ||
| And this is not... | ||
| A mark against them as human beings. | ||
| This is just where they are now. | ||
| Everybody starts off. | ||
| Look, the first day you enter into any sort of an MMA gym or dojo, whatever, we all start out as someone who doesn't know anything. | ||
| We all start out with whatever strength and conditioning you've gotten coming in. | ||
| If you're a gymnast or whatever, you bring whatever base you have. | ||
| But we all start out not knowing anything. | ||
| Once you get to a co-main event, I demand that you are better than that. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| I demand it. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| Especially 2016. Fuck you, man. | ||
| This is where I respect the shit out of the UFC and Dana. | ||
| When Kimbo wanted to fight in the UFC, they were like, fight in the Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| You want to fight in the UFC? I know you're making a lot of money in Elite XC, and everybody's making it out that you're the biggest thing. | ||
| But look, when Seth Petruzzelli fought Kimbo, there's a video of me saying it. | ||
| I was watching it from the fucking green room of the Atlanta punchline. | ||
| And I'd just gotten off stage, and Ken Shamrock got injured when he was supposed to be fighting Kimbo. | ||
| And I went backstage, and I saw Seth Petruzzelli. | ||
| I go, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| And they said, Ken Shamrock got injured. | ||
| I went, no way! | ||
| And they said, Seth Petruzzelli stepped in. | ||
| Day of the fight! | ||
| And took the fight. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm like, oh no, Kimbo's gonna get fucked up! | |
| That's the first thing. | ||
| I never make calls like that. | ||
| But I said it. | ||
| It's on video. | ||
| You can watch the video of me saying he's gonna get fucked up, and then he gets knocked out while we're watching the video. | ||
| Like, six seconds later, I'm like, I told you. | ||
| Because there's a giant difference between fighting guys who are awkward and clumsy, and you're a big, tough guy with good boxing. | ||
| And in backyards. | ||
| And fighting a motherfucker like Seth Petrazi. | ||
| So let me ask you this, Joe. | ||
| How do you justify CM Punk? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I said it, I don't. | ||
| They asked him to go on The Ultimate Fighter. | ||
| From what I've heard, they asked him and he was like, nah, I'm good. | ||
| First of all, sweat that glorious beard. | ||
| Damn, son, look at that. | ||
| Why don't you bring that shit back? | ||
| This is a last minute replacement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I gotta think Seth Purchaselli's gonna fuck him up. | |
| If I'm wrong, you'll never see this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's funny. | |
| So this is the fight live. | ||
| Kimbo's a bad motherfucker, by the way. | ||
| I just think Seth Petricelli. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here we go. | |
| This is why they do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, save Missy. | |
| Give him a... | ||
| Well, uh-oh. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| Save America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. | |
| You're fucking right. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Why is everyone so surprised? | ||
| What did I say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did I say? | |
| Seth Petricelli. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That beard is glorious. | |
| You're super high, aren't you? | ||
| Oh, I'm so high. | ||
| She looks so high right now. | ||
| I had to be that high to give that fucking breakdown on a television like that. | ||
| I could hide in that beard. | ||
| That's a hell of a beard. | ||
| I got a lot of man in me. | ||
| If you want discipline, Kimbo, give him Justin. | ||
| This is reality. | ||
| There's levels to fighting. | ||
| I'm an MMA analyst. | ||
| What do I do as a profession? | ||
| I've been doing it for a long fucking time. | ||
| I've called thousands of fights. | ||
| That fight Should not be a co-main event fight. | ||
| I'm not saying those guys shouldn't be allowed to compete against each other. | ||
| They certainly should, but they're not I mean I understand they want to get paid and I get all that and I know that Kimbo has some serious knee problems like Kimbo when he was on the Ultimate Fighter they diagnosed him with bone-on-bone cartilage I mean his cartilage is just devastating. | ||
| He's not young. | ||
| His knees are fucked from years of football. | ||
| And, you know, all the MMA training that he has done. | ||
| So I'm not hating on those guys to get paid, but what I am saying is, please, Bellator, cut the shit. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| Cut the side-axe, the circus. | ||
| You got a chance, a real chance. | ||
| Bellator has a real chance of being a gigantic organization. | ||
| They just signed Benson Henderson. | ||
| They got Josh Thompson. | ||
| They might get your boy Mitrione. | ||
| They might get a bunch of other really good fighters. | ||
| They got Vanderlei Silva just fucking signed with him. | ||
| They have a real chance at being... | ||
| Right up there with the UFC. They're a fucking Viacom entity. | ||
| They have a tremendous amount of money behind them. | ||
| They're on television. | ||
| They're on Spike TV. Do it right. | ||
| You know what's tough, though? | ||
| If you're Bellator, we're going to look at the ratings, son. | ||
| Over two million views while Dada's titties are to the side and Kimbo's gas. | ||
| It's Hoise Gracie, though. | ||
| That's Hoise Gracie. | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| I think it's Kimbo. | ||
| He's a huge draw. | ||
| Huge draw. | ||
| I don't think it's Hoise. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| What if they have their own version of Fight Pass where UFC's pushing Fight Pass? | ||
| Put the freak shows on Fight Pass. | ||
| Yeah, but why? | ||
| You can't put Kimball on Fight Pass when you get two million views on Spike TV. That's all they care about. | ||
| Maybe it'll drive views to your content-based website. | ||
| When a guy is in such bad shape that the fight itself almost kills him, And not damage. | ||
| Just competing almost kills him. | ||
| Because if you look at the damage that he took... | ||
| Nothing happened. | ||
| Almost nothing. | ||
| Like, the combination that dropped him... | ||
| Like, the people have played it back and forth. | ||
| They're like ghost punches. | ||
| His body failed him. | ||
| If he would've ate the same shots Bisping did against Anderson Silva... | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| You're dead. | ||
| That fucking flying knee. | ||
| That fucking flying knee. | ||
| But here, again, if anybody felt that I said something racist, I'm sorry that you felt that way. | ||
| I really am. | ||
| I'm not sorry that I said chicken, because I think this is ridiculous. | ||
| It's a ridiculous argument. | ||
| And I think in this day and age, there's nothing wrong with chicken. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with eating chicken. | ||
| It tastes great. | ||
| It's not racism. | ||
| Racism is trying to imply that one race is inferior. | ||
| And that is just not the case. | ||
| Replace chicken with any fast food. | ||
| Any fatty foods. | ||
| When you're out of shape, it was an example. | ||
| But there's a thing that people do, man, where they just look to be offended. | ||
| Or they decide that this is something they should be offended at. | ||
| Not looking at intent. | ||
| My intent was, I'm talking about a guy who, obviously, he didn't eat kale salads and fucking lean fish to get to that weight. | ||
| Hey man, he died! | ||
| That's another point, is that when you say, it feels like we live in a time when you are fighting for one group of people. | ||
| Like, say, people who have been oppressed in the past. | ||
| Instead of kind of having an intelligent debate and pointing your guns where they should be pointed at, which is usually a complex set of issues, what we're doing, I feel like, is we're demonizing one group to bolster another group that we call... | ||
| Not really. | ||
| They're not demonizing white people. | ||
| I don't think anybody's demonizing. | ||
| You think people demonize? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I think a lot of times, you know, if you look at, for example, I went to UPenn and I spoke to these kids in their theater department. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Because somebody asked me to do it. | ||
| Somebody asked me to do it. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| No, they wanted me to do it about the Goldbergs and stuff, and I was there. | ||
| I was there. | ||
| And I went and I asked the kids, I said, how many of you feel like your comedy... | ||
| Is something you have to be careful of because you might offend somebody in your class or your school. | ||
| And half the class raised their hands. | ||
| And by the way, most of those kids, because I looked at it, were mostly white. | ||
| And I thought, that's a shame. | ||
| That's such a bummer that your expression, and especially your comedy... | ||
| Is being cowed by, you know, the fact that you're trying to be fair-minded. | ||
| You know, none of those kids, I don't think, were racist or anything else, but when you're actually having... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or sexist. | |
| Right. | ||
| But we see this in our institutions of learning, especially our higher institutions of learning, where you're just not able to really and honestly express yourself. | ||
| And God forbid it's funny! | ||
| God forbid it's a joke! | ||
| You know, if you're not toeing the line, then you will be censored. | ||
| I don't think it's a matter of demonizing white people, because they're not demonizing white people without doing that. | ||
| I don't think it's demonizing white people. | ||
| It's looking for anything to be offended at. | ||
| Even things that are not offensive. | ||
| Chris Rock took a lot of heat from other black people. | ||
| And white people. | ||
| And Asian people. | ||
| We're all very sensitive at a time when we are making big strides as well. | ||
| A hundred percent. | ||
| And I think part of that, I mean, the oversensitivity is because we sense that there is a lot of positive momentum. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that people want to keep that going and they want to stop any racism. | ||
| Any racism that does come up, they want to nip that shit in the bud and let people know that it's not tolerated anymore. | ||
| Which is understandable, but we have to know when racism is real and when it's not real. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And there's also a lot of bandwagon bullshit jumping on where people just decide that this is something they should be offended by. | ||
| Where I'll sit down with you, motherfucker, you try to argue with me that that's racist. | ||
| There's no argument. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| It's a lynch mom who they just want to jump on. | ||
| Yeah, it's a stupid argument. | ||
| It's like watermelon. | ||
| Watermelon's a stupid argument. | ||
| Watermelon's a goddamn delicious fruit. | ||
| You tell me that watermelon is racist, you're an idiot. | ||
| If you tell me grape juice, watermelon, chicken's racist, then I don't know what to tell you. | ||
| They're reacting, though, to what was used in the past. | ||
| They're using what was used in the past. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I get it, but fried chicken has always been a delicious food. | ||
| It's not something that poor people could only afford. | ||
| As a matter of fact, who was running for president? | ||
| I think it was Roosevelt. | ||
| Part of his campaign was a chicken in every pot. | ||
| And the reason why is because chicken was expensive back then. | ||
| So he was saying that he was going to offer prosperity to the American people and that every family would have a chicken. | ||
| I'm offended fried chicken's racist. | ||
| No, I'm offended. | ||
| It's not racist. | ||
| It's racial in that it's always been in some way connected with black people. | ||
| But it's also... | ||
| It's not something only black people eat. | ||
| It's not like curry. | ||
| Even then, that's like a serious ethnic food. | ||
| You know, you say someone smells like curry, that's more racial if you're talking about an Indian person. | ||
| When Magic Johnson owned all his Starbucks, He opened Starbucks in black neighborhoods, and one of the first things he said is, you guys are selling food that black people that I grew up with are not going to eat, and here are the foods you should sell at my Starbucks. | ||
| And he made a lot of money by changing At least back in the time. | ||
| What they were willing to offer. | ||
| What did they change it to? | ||
| What was the new menu? | ||
| Believe it or not, I think one of the things, this is back when I read about it probably a long time, 10 years ago more than that, they were offering in the Starbucks in Harlem and places like that, they were offering things like sweet potato pie. | ||
| Fried chicken. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Those little sweet potato pies are goddamn delicious. | ||
| At Starbucks? | ||
| I've never seen it at Starbucks. | ||
| Back in the day, Magic Johnson said, the food that you have in these is not going to fly. | ||
| Hold up. | ||
| Magic Johnson put sweet potato pie? | ||
| We don't eat scones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We don't eat scones. | |
| That's not racist. | ||
| That's cultural. | ||
| That's a cultural thing. | ||
| You know what's hilarious? | ||
| Another thing that people were trying to get upset at me was orange soda. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| Orange soda is not connected to black people. | ||
| It is just not. | ||
| It's just not. | ||
| Like saying that orange soda is racist. | ||
| So that was like the cover of Yahoo. | ||
| They cut out cheeseburgers and they wrote, Joe Rogan says that Dada ate fried chicken and orange soda. | ||
| Like, they didn't even say cheeseburger because I was trying to throw in a bunch of different things. | ||
| But orange soda is not racist at all. | ||
| It's a syrupy, super sweet, fatty drink. | ||
| I love me some orange soda. | ||
| It's very tasty. | ||
| That's probably why I'm thicker than a Snickers, man. | ||
| I just I love orange soda, bro. | ||
| But you like sugar. | ||
| I'm addicted to it. | ||
| Dude, those goddamn delicious mangoes with chili. | ||
| You fucked me with those. | ||
| I really never had them, dude. | ||
| Go in there. | ||
| They got your name on them. | ||
| There's bags of them. | ||
| I can't eat them. | ||
| All right, I'll try them. | ||
| There's a diet that I'm on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
From who? | |
| You know what? | ||
| I should try it. | ||
| I got a bunch of different companies that I have back there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You hungry? | |
| You want one? | ||
| Go grab one. | ||
| There's bags of them back there. | ||
| Don't be scared to bring an extra bag, my man. | ||
| The best ones that I've tried so far are Trader Joe's. | ||
| To the right. | ||
| The Trader Joe's ones are goddamn delicious. | ||
| Yeah, sugar, man. | ||
| Me and sugar, I don't... | ||
| Everybody and sugar. | ||
| People are mad at me for talking too much about sugar, so I'm going to shut the fuck up. | ||
| Man, you can't do anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't do anything. | |
| Well, you know what? | ||
| We're dealing with volume, the numbers. | ||
| I mean, we've got like 23 million downloads this month. | ||
| The numbers are insane. | ||
| But whenever you stand for something or whenever you have an opinion... | ||
| I stand for chili mango. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Whenever you stand for something or you have an opinion, people aren't going to agree with everything, man. | ||
| But if people aren't disagreeing with you, you're a schmuck. | ||
| You're a schmuck, man. | ||
| Well, you're not expressing yourself honestly. | ||
| You're not being original. | ||
| You're trying to please the crowd. | ||
| Everybody has different points of view. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that, though. | ||
| You're not a hater. | ||
| Ooh, look at that. | ||
| He gave it to you. | ||
| Aw, thanks, brother. | ||
| He's eating a fucking bar. | ||
| He's eating something super healthy, low sugar, and he handed that bag over to you. | ||
| Just because I'm Mexican doesn't mean I like fruit and fucking salt on it, okay? | ||
| I've never been able to figure that out. | ||
| Well, it's the chili powder, man. | ||
| That's a delicious combination. | ||
| I had a dream last night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not my thing. | |
| I had a dream last night that I was eating bread. | ||
| And that someone called me out on it and someone was like, dude, you're eating bread. | ||
| I was like, oh no. | ||
| Freaked out. | ||
| Sinner. | ||
| I got too high and I ate the bread and I forgot. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| What kind of a fucked up dream is that? | ||
| That I'm eating bread? | ||
| That was a real dream that I had. | ||
| I can't believe you're going to run with this diet for more than 60 days. | ||
| I'm definitely gonna run with it for more than 60 days. | ||
| I feel great. | ||
| I'm down... | ||
| I don't know how much I'm down. | ||
| But I was at 194 this morning. | ||
| And you started at... | ||
| Actually, 193.8. | ||
| You started at what? | ||
| 202, 203. Not bad. | ||
| I'm somewhere around, like, nine pounds down. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| And you're eating... | ||
| I'm eating like a pig! | ||
| My thing is, I'm good when I'm at home, but whenever Cal and I go on the road or anything like that, my diet goes to shit. | ||
| If I had to walk around with a 10-pound jacket on, I'd be uncomfortable. | ||
| I'd be like, God, get this fucking stupid jacket off. | ||
| I think that's how you have to look at your body. | ||
| If you're one of those people that goes, Oh, I could lose 20 pounds. | ||
| Who gives a shit? | ||
| If you take that 20 pounds and put a 20-pound jacket on, how would you feel? | ||
| You're just accustomed to feeling like shit. | ||
| So that feeling like shit becomes your new normal. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'll eat six Cadbury eggs and wear that jacket. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I fucking... | |
| Cadbury eggs! | ||
| He loves Cadbury eggs. | ||
| If you want to kidnap him, put some Cadbury eggs in a van, and put them in the back of the van, and then he'll just... | ||
| He can't help himself. | ||
| I will gladly wear that 10-pound jacket. | ||
| He'll just go in there like one of those fucking trap things to catch coyotes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He can't help himself. | |
| He'll put fucking food in there and take traps behind him. | ||
| Got you! | ||
| Got you, big boy! | ||
| Got you! | ||
| We were in a meeting a couple days ago with Fox, all suits, and someone had a bag of red vines, like, shop, you want one? | ||
| They threw me the bag. | ||
| I was like, ah, fuck. | ||
| Calum goes, holy shit, he ate all of them in front of everyone. | ||
| Well, I turned my head to look out the window, and then I turned back, and they were gone. | ||
| I was like, what'd you do? | ||
| Swallow them all? | ||
| Sugar is a drug. | ||
| It is a drug. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| It doesn't seem like a drug because it doesn't get you high. | ||
| But there's a physical reaction that your body has to sugar where when I would eat, I'd eat a full meal and then after the meal I would still be hungry for something. | ||
| And what I was craving was like either carbs or I was craving cookies. | ||
| Like I'd see like a bag of cookies and I'd go, oh, cookies and milk. | ||
| Talking about sweet, dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sugar. | ||
| Meanwhile, I'm stuffed. | ||
| Stuffed like I ate a giant meal. | ||
| Yeah, I don't have a sweet tooth. | ||
| I have sweet teeth. | ||
| It's just like that all the time. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I don't ever not want sugar. | ||
| Yeah, but if you stopped eating it, if you took time off, I guarantee you your gut bacteria would change and that craving would go away. | ||
| Look, I could eat that. | ||
| No one's stopping me. | ||
| I don't have a law. | ||
| It's not like I'm on probation. | ||
| I can't have fucking sugar. | ||
| I don't want it. | ||
| What about raw honey? | ||
| Is raw honey different in your body? | ||
| No, not really. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sugar, sugar, son. | |
| I mean, sugar, sugar, but it's not terrible for you. | ||
| Look, it's not terrible for you if you don't get too much of it. | ||
| The problem is, you're only really supposed to have about 25 grams of sugar a day if you live a healthy diet. | ||
| I'm saying good luck getting 25 grams. | ||
| That's all I do, I think. | ||
| I think bread breaks down as glucose. | ||
| No, bread is definitely sugar. | ||
| Sugar and pasta. | ||
| Pasta is sugar. | ||
| This diet, this Mark Sisson's primal blueprint diet is no grains. | ||
| I've never done that before. | ||
| I've done gluten-free before where I had rice noodles and stuff like that. | ||
| This is the first time I've ever had no grains at all. | ||
| I just did it for a goof. | ||
| I'm not doing it to prepare for anything, but listen to this guy, Mark Sisson, who was a very smart guy and very interesting guy to talk to. | ||
| He's not a bullshit artist. | ||
| And I'm listening to what he had to say about inflammation and all the issues that he had dealt with, like acid reflux or what was it? | ||
| I listen to that show. | ||
| IBS. And also joint pain, arthritis. | ||
| I'm telling you, that is the interesting thing. | ||
| I think I talked about this before the podcast, but when I get out of bed, I don't have any aches and pains anymore. | ||
| I would get out of bed and I'd be like, oh, my fucking back. | ||
| And I'd have to loosen up, and I would do all these exercises and shit before my body started feeling loose again. | ||
| I'd have to get my back moving, I'd get blood circulation. | ||
| And then once things started circulating, the aches would kind of slowly go away. | ||
| I don't have any aches. | ||
| I get up, I have nothing. | ||
| I just get up. | ||
| And it took me a while to realize that. | ||
| I would go, oh, it's gone. | ||
| Have you ever tried fasting before? | ||
| No, but I do intermittent fasting now. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| So I eat at 9 o'clock at night, right? | ||
| And then I don't do anything until my workout. | ||
| My workout is like 10 o'clock in the morning, and then I work out, and then I eat after my workout. | ||
| So for, you know, 11 hours or 12 hours or so, I'm not eating shit. | ||
| See, on Sundays, I usually fast. | ||
| I stop eating Saturday night at usually 7. I won't eat until the next day to 7. 24 hours. | ||
| I like it, too. | ||
| You have a good meal at 9 o'clock. | ||
| You finish somewhere around 10. And then you let all that shit digest and then take that time off. | ||
| And then when you wake up at 9 or 10, do a hard cardio workout. | ||
| It kicks in your body's desire to burn fat. | ||
| You can also get away with eating some sugar. | ||
| I worked out damn near seven days a week. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| So you'll burn a lot of that off. | ||
| Do you know what epi will? | ||
| I mean, you're not fat. | ||
| You know what epigenetics... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks, man. | |
| You know what epigenetics... | ||
| I think it's... | ||
| You needed that, like a hug. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Thanks, bro. | ||
| I was waiting for some of them. | ||
| That was the final sign. | ||
| You're obviously a very fit guy. | ||
| You don't have any issues as far as your appearance, but as far as the overall performance of your body, if you just wanted to give it a goof for your show, just to guide people through it for fun. | ||
| I've gotten all these tweets and Facebook messages from all these people that are trying to do it now. | ||
| I want to do something outlandish, though. | ||
| Cabbage diet for a month or something. | ||
| Hey, but that's not healthy. | ||
| What you should do is just try it. | ||
| Try no sugar. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Look, man, I'm telling you, I bought 10 bags of those fucking chili mango things back there and boxes of those sugary bars because I love them, you know, but I don't like them right now. | ||
| Like, that doesn't have any pull to me. | ||
| That's what's the most fascinating thing about this. | ||
| The bread... | ||
| Killed your craving. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I went to dinner the other day, and we're at this Italian restaurant with my family, and bread comes out, and it didn't mean shit to me. | ||
| Do you know what they find that this, from what I've read and heard, epigeneticists got people who study how you can turn genes on and off, right? | ||
| So that's a new science. | ||
| Do you know what one of the leading causes of inflammation is, which I thought was fascinating? | ||
| Your gums... | ||
| And the food that gets stuck between your gums will break down as bacteria and apparently goes into the bloodstream. | ||
| And they're finding that that has a... | ||
| First of all, they know that that kind of bacteria has a lot to do with your heart health. | ||
| But it also has a great deal to do with inflammation in the body, which is fascinating. | ||
| So that's why they say one of the most important things you can do is freeze. | ||
| Floss. | ||
| Ah, fuck that noise. | ||
| I know, but that's what this guy... | ||
| Do you floss? | ||
| That's what this guy said. | ||
| Not my friend. | ||
| You floss? | ||
| I do now since I heard that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| You don't floss. | ||
| I do now since I heard it. | ||
| How many times have you flossed? | ||
| Floss pics. | ||
| Now that I've heard that since the past week, I do it twice a day. | ||
| I'm sorry, man. | ||
| I flossed a dozen times in my entire life on this planet. | ||
| I never go to the dentist either. | ||
| I flossed once and my gums bled so bad. | ||
| I like to pick at my gums. | ||
| I do like those things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what I like? | ||
| I'll take those. | ||
| Water pics. | ||
| That's the shit. | ||
| Those are the shit. | ||
| I think that's better. | ||
| As you sleep, it breaks down and goes into the bloodstream. | ||
| And that bacteria apparently has a great deal to do with information. | ||
| That's why it's good to have a little gap tooth. | ||
| Get some gaps in your teeth. | ||
| Pull a couple teeth out. | ||
| No, you don't want that. | ||
| Pull a couple teeth out. | ||
| I used to have a thing for girls with gap teeth. | ||
| I'm not mad at that either. | ||
| It's pretty attractive. | ||
| I have a thing for girls. | ||
| I dated one. | ||
| You dated a Michael Strahan? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| And it's it's not you know, I'm just she was fucking gorgeous, but I think it's hot. | ||
| I think it's hot girls with a gap tooth. | ||
| I'm trying to think of the hottest girl that she was a Bellator girl Jay Bryce. | ||
| Oh perfect example. | ||
| Is that the girl? | ||
| Oh, my bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's the only girl I know with a giant gap. | |
| Yes, we were talking about it. | ||
| She's possibly the nicest person on the planet. | ||
| She's also one of the hottest people on the planet. | ||
| Yes, tooth or not. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Powerful gap tooth. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of pretty women with gap tooth. | ||
| Lauren Hutton, remember that? | ||
| Old school model, movie star. | ||
| Powerful gap tooth. | ||
| She was like the poster girl. | ||
| When I was a kid, I remember seeing her. | ||
| There's some new girl now I see on billboards with just a fucking field golfy teeth. | ||
| I know who you're talking about. | ||
| You know who was interesting? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know who was interesting? | ||
| There's Lauren Hutton. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| That's too much. | ||
| Powerful gap tooth. | ||
| The show back when she was hot and young. | ||
| I don't want to see some old pictures. | ||
| Look at her. | ||
| She looks like fucking Willy Wonka now. | ||
| Where's the gap tooth? | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Bam, son. | ||
| There's my girl right there. | ||
| Look at that gap tooth. | ||
| That's a nice gap. | ||
| She's lucky she has them eyes. | ||
| She's beautiful. | ||
| She's good. | ||
| Did you guys pay attention to the controversy? | ||
| Boy, we're really breaking down these fights. | ||
| Did you guys pay attention to the controversy that these models were complaining about this oversized model or plus-sized model? | ||
| Sorry, I said oversized. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Oversized model. | ||
| I said it again. | ||
| Not my size, just a different size. | ||
| On the cover of Sports Illustrated. | ||
| Dude, she's the hottest one. | ||
| Well, they were saying these models were bitching. | ||
| Rhonda's the middle. | ||
| And they were saying that it's not healthy. | ||
| Oh, fuck off. | ||
| What she's doing is not healthy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Because a bitch likes a t-bone? | ||
| And these other girls don't eat? | ||
| Guys don't like skinny girls. | ||
| Only other skinny models like that. | ||
| I like a girl, I gotta use ya. | ||
| But I only weigh 125 pounds, I know. | ||
| But I like skinny girls. | ||
| What do you walk around at? | ||
| What's your walk around weight? | ||
| 45, 50. Okay, there she is in the middle. | ||
| That girl in the middle ain't for you, Creepy. | ||
| She's delicious. | ||
| She's got some giant ta-tas. | ||
| Yeah, let me see more of her. | ||
| Is there more of her? | ||
| Well, she's the one, by the way, that is not wearing fucking body paint. | ||
| That girl on the left, though. | ||
| They might have put body paint on Rhonda. | ||
| You can't put body paint on them giant ta-tas. | ||
| You can't come light in the ass, either. | ||
| That girl's hot as fuck. | ||
| You must come correct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's pretty. | |
| Jesus Christ, she's beautiful. | ||
| Come correct. | ||
| Alright, now we gotta slow down. | ||
| We gotta chill out, because those hips... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like her. | |
| Well, it's the legs and the hips. | ||
| Meanwhile... | ||
| All this young lady needs to do is a rigorous strength and conditioning program for a couple weeks. | ||
| Eat healthy. | ||
| Okay, well, we just got a little ridiculous here. | ||
| Is that her back there? | ||
| Her face is beautiful. | ||
| Obviously, she fluctuates. | ||
| She's super hot, yeah. | ||
| I like her body. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| I see that there. | ||
| It's perfect. | ||
| That's perfect. | ||
| Is that her? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, right there is perfect. | ||
| She fluctuates, obviously. | ||
| Her midsection looks like mine. | ||
| I don't mind. | ||
| I'm not mad. | ||
| Don't get me wrong. | ||
| Out of those three girls... | ||
| I bet she has no problem dealing with the shob. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You can't over-fuck her. | ||
| Oh, I agree. | ||
| She's ready. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's not like, ow, ow, ow. | |
| You can't go hard enough. | ||
| Slow it up. | ||
| She's your ocean. | ||
| She's going to get you in full garden. | ||
| She is your ocean. | ||
| Dude, her face is beautiful. | ||
| She's gorgeous. | ||
| She's your ocean, buddy. | ||
| There's a lot of variety in the photos of her. | ||
| Like, some of her where she looks perfect, and some of her where she's obviously a little indulgent. | ||
| You know what's going to be true? | ||
| How old is she? | ||
| I guess in her early 20s? | ||
| When she's 40, I don't know if that's a fun scene. | ||
| Well, there's no such thing as one of these models that's in any... | ||
| What does she weigh? | ||
| How old is she? | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's 87. 29. 29. Okay. | |
| There's no such thing as these models when they're 40. They don't exist. | ||
| Especially the plus size ones. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Not the plus size ones. | ||
| No, they just don't exist. | ||
| Nobody wants to see it. | ||
| Cindy Crawford's still doing the damn thing. | ||
| We've been over this. | ||
| But that thick chick, good for you, girl. | ||
| There's a very few of them, man. | ||
| But Cindy, that's a full-time job. | ||
| She's on it all day with creams and antioxidant lotions and rubbing fucking... | ||
| Loofers all over her face. | ||
| Hadn't had a car in 20 years. | ||
| She's rubbing sand over her face, smoothing it out. | ||
| It's exhausting. | ||
| Exhausting like that. | ||
| It's so fucking tiring. | ||
| There's a sandstorm. | ||
| Hurry up. | ||
| I gotta run. | ||
| I gotta go for a jog. | ||
| Yeah, she probably sees fat, ugly chicks. | ||
| She's like, I wish. | ||
| Who's the girl who's in Body Heat? | ||
| Kathleen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Turner. | |
| Turner. | ||
| She was smoking when she was young. | ||
| And she became an alcoholic. | ||
| Let me see this chick, Jamie. | ||
| She became like a balloon animal. | ||
| She drank a lot. | ||
| She became a... | ||
| She blew the fuck up? | ||
| Well, not only that, she had that balloon, that drunk face where something happens to your nose. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your nose gets really big. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're broadened out. | |
| Okay, first of all, look at where when she was upper left corner, please. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Dude, she was so hot when she was young. | ||
| That Body Heat movie, that was 1981, by the way. | ||
| A lot of nostril there. | ||
| A lot of nostril. | ||
| If we get her to bring her face down. | ||
| She's sniffing cock. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| She had a real husky, sexy voice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This mic smells like shit. | |
| Can these things change? | ||
| Can I take these off? | ||
| They don't come off. | ||
| Ew! | ||
| At least it's yours. | ||
| I'm just upset that I've been talking to people. | ||
| This is what's been coming out of my mouth. | ||
| I feel rude. | ||
| How was brushing your teeth this morning with dog shit? | ||
| I'm not crazy about this, Jerk. | ||
| This is a really hot girl from 1981. If you saw her at the gym today, you'd be like, how about be here more often? | ||
| How about be here more often? | ||
| She's a hell of an actress. | ||
| I want to see her now, Jamie. | ||
| Well, the bodies that women have today are just better. | ||
| Because they're better for what I like. | ||
| I like a gal who looks athletic. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| I like girls, like CrossFit girls. | ||
| Like, look at her now. | ||
| She did a lot of drinking. | ||
| And smoking with your voice. | ||
| Jesus Christ, why? | ||
| She did a lot of drinking, man. | ||
| And women are like, that's what a real woman looks like, you fucking asshole! | ||
| That's what a real... | ||
| Nah, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
She's 50 fucking years old, you piece of shit! | |
| That's a lot of booze. | ||
| Meanwhile, Cindy Crawford is 52. Yeah. | ||
| Brinkley? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Christy Brinkley's 90. Hot as fuck. | ||
| She's 150 years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
150! | |
| And we'd all fuck her. | ||
| Fucking Crypt Keeper. | ||
| I would fuck her after you guys fucked her. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| I'm gonna pretend. | ||
| That's her when she was in that movie Body Heat. | ||
| Great movie. | ||
| I just don't understand. | ||
| Maybe she got money and said, fuck it. | ||
| No, she drank. | ||
| I think it's booze. | ||
| And cigarettes, because with that voice, she smokes a lot of cigarettes. | ||
| She had a serious drinking problem. | ||
| Did she stop? | ||
| I don't know, but I know she talks about it. | ||
| Maybe she had a blast, got some money, started smoking, got fat as fuck, eating catberry eggs. | ||
| I'm not mad at it. | ||
| Maybe she just got tired of getting dick. | ||
| She's like, I gotta keep the dick away. | ||
| It's exhausting. | ||
| I think she might be gay, in fact. | ||
| I don't know why I'm saying that. | ||
| You just think everybody's gay today. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| I like to spread rumors. | ||
| Yeah, how dare you do about Ky Green? | ||
| Ky Green's in Venice a lot. | ||
| He's gonna fuck you up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And by fuck you up, I mean he's gonna fuck you, yeah. | |
| Like he fucked that grapefruit. | ||
| In a straight way. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, I just don't... | ||
| I mean, I think also the pressure of being a hot chick, I think it's overwhelming. | ||
| I think after a while they just get... | ||
| I mean, speaking from personal experience, my days as a hot chick... | ||
| I just think it's overwhelming for those girls. | ||
| Like, to imagine your entire existence is based entirely on people wanting to fuck you. | ||
| You're defined on symmetry and... | ||
| Guys just sending mental dick missiles at your face all day long. | ||
| Dude, I used to work out at this gym where... | ||
| I won't say your name. | ||
| I like that noise. | ||
| A very famous... | ||
| Mental dick missiles is pretty funny. | ||
| Yeah, it's ridiculous. | ||
| A famous female celebrity would work out there, and she would go in the shower before me, But the paparazzi was waiting for her outside. | ||
| She was in there for maybe damn near two hours. | ||
| We'd come out in full makeup ready. | ||
| Because there's so much pressure. | ||
| Because people were just taking pictures all the time. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard, man. | ||
| It felt bad for her, man. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| Renee Zellweger said that she moved to New York because when she'd get out to put gas in her car, if she brushed her nose, they'd take a picture and it looked like she was picking her nose. | ||
| She just was followed everywhere. | ||
| She was like, I'm going to New York to live there. | ||
| And by the way, for a girl like that, whenever I'm around him, I have to say by the way. | ||
| That's contagious as fuck. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| When I'm around him, I say for sure. | ||
| When I'm around you, I say by the way. | ||
| It's just exhausting to be one of those ladies. | ||
| And she also had to get a fuckload of plastic surgery. | ||
| I mean, she didn't have to, but she did. | ||
| She tried to keep up, man. | ||
| It's a fucking dog race if you're a hot chick. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| You have an expiration date, too, pretty much. | ||
| I mean, that's going away. | ||
| Well, Patty Jenkins, you know, our friend who directed Wonder Woman now... | ||
| She said, if you want to be humiliated, be a woman, a female actor in her late 30s, early 40s. | ||
| You know, when you start to lose, quote unquote, your delicious, as Katharine Hepburn said, you become invisible. | ||
| Oh, you won three Oscars? | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| We'll see you later. | ||
| There really aren't any parts for you. | ||
| It's tough, man. | ||
| Even Anne Hathaway talked about that. | ||
| She said she was the young girl getting the parts and now she's not getting them. | ||
| She's like, I get it. | ||
| It's the business, man. | ||
| There's 19-year-olds taking my job. | ||
| She's like, I used to be that 19-year-old. | ||
| Yeah, but here's the thing. | ||
| I can't get a job playing a black basketball player because I'm not a black basketball player. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| I can't get a job playing Jackie Chan's brother because I don't look like I'd be Jackie Chan's brother. | ||
| If you want a job... | ||
| As a hot chick, you have to be a hot chick. | ||
| When you are no longer a hot chick, you're going to have to get a job as a hot chick's mom. | ||
| That's not sexism. | ||
| That's called reality. | ||
| What the fuck did you do to get famous in the first place? | ||
| You got the genetic lottery. | ||
| You're mad? | ||
| The genetic lottery has an expiration date? | ||
| Oh my god, I feel so bad. | ||
| It's so hard for women in this business. | ||
| It's pretty fucking easy for you to slip in the door. | ||
| All you have to do is have good features. | ||
| It's also hard for guys in this business. | ||
| This business is ridiculous! | ||
| It's hard for everyone. | ||
| The business is, who wants to fuck you? | ||
| Does no one want to fuck you? | ||
| Well, we're going to find someone we want to fuck. | ||
| I lost the part because my manager called me and he goes, you want me to be honest? | ||
| I go, what? | ||
| He goes, they just said you weren't TV good looking enough. | ||
| I was like, that makes sense. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| That's reality, man. | ||
| That's reality. | ||
| It's not true. | ||
| Well, it's not true. | ||
| It depends on what they were trying to pitch. | ||
| Well, if they're trying to cast you as the 30-something single guy, yeah, probably not. | ||
| If you were like a guy on Lost with a plane crashed and you were fairly rugged and you took care of some older women and they wanted to fuck you. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You're the guy. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You know how to make a fire with a stick. | ||
| My buddy Frank Grillo, the greatest guy in the world, called me up. | ||
| He'd be like, dude, you've got to get on this audition. | ||
| And I would call my agent and bitch. | ||
| And finally my agent, David Letterman, goes, Brian, he just stopped me. | ||
| He goes, Brian, you have to stop calling me about the auditions Frank Grillo goes on. | ||
| And I said, why? | ||
| He goes, because you don't look like Frank Grillo. | ||
| You're not his casting. | ||
| You could play his friend, but you don't have his hair or his look. | ||
| And he just, he got mad at me. | ||
| I was like, you know what? | ||
| You're absolutely right. | ||
| That's just how it goes. | ||
| That's how it goes. | ||
| And you can't get upset at that because that's, you got in just as easy. | ||
| You didn't get a goddamn PhD to be a hot chick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, it's not like you fucking scoured the world and busted your ass 16 hours a day going through doctorate... | ||
| Your dissertation and fucking writing books. | ||
| No! | ||
| You're just a pretty girl who knows how to pretend. | ||
| For you to be upset that people don't care about you because you turned 40. Well, guess what? | ||
| You're in the wrong goddamn business. | ||
| They're not going to care about you when you're dead either. | ||
| And you're going to die. | ||
| So there's a certain reality to the expiration date of the occupation that you've chosen. | ||
| That's what you've signed up for. | ||
| Sports too. | ||
| And this is not the fucking business's responsibility. | ||
| You know, I mean, I was friends with a guy who was Asian, who was always complaining. | ||
| About the lack of Asian roles in Hollywood. | ||
| Yeah, legit point. | ||
| And I was like, well, okay. | ||
| But they don't have to write a movie about Asian people. | ||
| They're like, well, it's a closed system. | ||
| Well, okay. | ||
| You've got to figure out a way through the system. | ||
| There's a certain way that has to be available to someone to get a gig. | ||
| And they shouldn't have to cast you just because there's no Asian people in their movie. | ||
| That's going on in Hollywood. | ||
| For example, like the black issue in Hollywood. | ||
| Look, black people take up, what, 12% of the population in this country. | ||
| There are a lot of very talented black people, as there are a lot of very talented white people. | ||
| But the bottom line is, money-wise, you know, there's more money in making sort of movies that are geared maybe toward a white populace only because that's the economics. | ||
| There are a whole lot more audience members that are white who And the infrastructure, yes, is already fairly white, so it's going to take some time. | ||
| But to mandate or to kind of scold Hollywood because there aren't enough vehicles or roles for black people or Asian people, it seems to me to be a little bit disingenuous. | ||
| I understand the frustration, but come on, man. | ||
| At the end of the day, it's reflective of demographics. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| Isn't it reflective of the fact that 12% of the population are African American? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Most of this country is still white? | ||
| And it's still a business. | ||
| And it's still a business. | ||
| I went on an audition a couple months ago. | ||
| Went great. | ||
| It was between me and one other guy, and the other guy was African American. | ||
| My agent called me and goes, man, you did great. | ||
| They think you're better, but... | ||
| They're gonna go with the... | ||
| They think you're better? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They think you're better, but they're gonna go with African American for this. | ||
| Because they want diversity. | ||
| Because they don't want to get people upset at them. | ||
| First of all, that's a fact. | ||
| First of all, there's a quota. | ||
| So it's effective. | ||
| So it's effective. | ||
| If you're casting a movie, I mean a TV show now, it is a fact, and I just know this, that you have to cast a certain number of people of quote-unquote color. | ||
| That is a lot of pressure. | ||
| But you don't have to. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| But if you want to avoid criticism, and that's one of the reasons why this criticism exists. | ||
| It's essentially like an affirmative action for acting. | ||
| It's in the NFL, too. | ||
| You know if you're hiring a head coach in the NFL, you have to interview a black coach? | ||
| You have to. | ||
| It's required you have to interview a black coach. | ||
| So you might have six white guys, and you're like, fuck, the sixth one's really good. | ||
| I know, but you've got to put in this inferior black guy. | ||
| We have to do it. | ||
| They're trying to equalize the playing field and create equality of opportunity, which is a good thing. | ||
| I just don't know if that's the best way to do it. | ||
| Well, what is the best way to do it? | ||
| The best way to do it is to meritocracy and create opportunities for people of all ilks and all colors earlier. | ||
| Nurture various cultures. | ||
| Nurture the idea that, hey, instead of taking this path, maybe there's another path. | ||
| I'd love to see more black scientists and doctors over more black actors and things like that. | ||
| Yeah, but you can't encourage people to do what they want to do. | ||
| The way you do it is you nurture those communities when they're still young and create possibilities there. | ||
| I'm under the line, the best guys should get the job. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Black, white, Indian, it doesn't matter. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's true too, but I also think we've got to figure out why those people aren't getting opportunities. | ||
| Like, what is it? | ||
| That's the answer. | ||
| That's the question. | ||
| They're not born with the same opportunity. | ||
| Yeah, they're not born with the same opportunity. | ||
| They're given a shitty deal as far as like their hand... | ||
| That they're dealt at birth. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| You've got to fix the hand. | ||
| Yes, but also, keep in mind, first of all, you talk about black people, gay people, white people, it's so ridiculous. | ||
| We're very different. | ||
| A black person from Nigeria- Did you mix black people and gay people? | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| A black person from Nigeria is very different than a black guy who grew up in South Carolina. | ||
| It's just a completely different culture and everything. | ||
| The African immigrant experience in this country Is not so different from a lot of other immigrant experiences. | ||
| So culture plays a factor in where people start and end as well. | ||
| We don't talk enough about that. | ||
| It's very taboo to suggest maybe your culture, if you're a white guy from the Appalachian Mountains, Isn't as effective for this marketplace as the culture of a Northeastern white guy. | ||
| Maybe your culture, if you come from a black Mississippi, a black Mississippi neighborhood, or where Dada 5000 is from, in that documentary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's from Florida. | |
| That's a racist count. | ||
| I'm saying, I'm saying, dog white in Florida. | ||
| Let me guess, it's chicken? | ||
| But that culture, you have to say, what are the deficits in that culture compared to the advantages of being a black Kenyan or a black Nigerian that seems to work in this marketplace? | ||
| Let's start talking about that. | ||
| If you don't want to have a discussion about that, maybe you don't care enough about the problems. | ||
| I don't know what you just said, so I can't really agree. | ||
| What I'm saying is that culture plays a factor. | ||
| You left me at Dada was born in Ohio. | ||
| The way you solve the problem is look at how kids are raised. | ||
| Start there. | ||
| Well, I think for sure we have a problem in this country where there's communities where people are growing up where it's just despair. | ||
| Despair and crime, Baltimore, Detroit. | ||
| I mean, you can keep going down the list of terrible... | ||
| We have to help these Syrian refugees. | ||
| We have to help people in Detroit, too, man. | ||
| You know, help people. | ||
| People are, but you're also dealing with a legacy. | ||
| That's where racism is a legacy. | ||
| Baltimore. | ||
| Well, black people were redlined. | ||
| Well, I had this guy Michael Wood on, who was a cop in Baltimore. | ||
| That was a good one. | ||
| Great fucking guy. | ||
| Hell yeah. | ||
| Super articulate and smart. | ||
| He's actually running for the head of police of Chicago right now. | ||
| Definitely going to win. | ||
| Well, I hope he wins, because he's got the right idea, and he was a cop, and he's a fucking super honest guy. | ||
| But he said that the way Baltimore was set up, you literally couldn't sell black people houses in white neighborhoods. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| It's called being redlined. | ||
| In every community, why is there a black ghetto in almost every community? | ||
| That's a bad part of town. | ||
| What a coincidence it's black. | ||
| You couldn't get a loan for a house unless it was in within these lines. | ||
| That's how it was. | ||
| That's what you call institutionalized racism. | ||
| And the people that were living there, they didn't own those houses. | ||
| They were renting. | ||
| You know what's weird is there's really no, if you think about it, just to go back to what we're originally supposed to be talking about, if you go back to it, there's really no black female fighters. | ||
| Angela Hill. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Who was mad at me, by the way. | ||
| At 135 is none. | ||
| For saying fried chicken. | ||
| She made a Twitter post, says this is what she hears, and she had a clip of me from my 2005 Showtime special where I said there's three magic words. | ||
| Love, cunt, and nigger. | ||
| Those are the three magic words. | ||
| And the last one, you can't even say it out loud. | ||
| Not even calling somebody it. | ||
| You can't even say it out loud. | ||
| If you say it out loud, people could beat the fuck out of you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| I mean, that was the point of the bit. | ||
| So she took an excerpt of that and she said, this is what I hear when he says that. | ||
| And so she was super upset. | ||
| That's disappointing. | ||
| It is disappointing. | ||
| Disappointing. | ||
| I'm saying, at 135, like, there's not a lot of African Americans fighting in the UFC in the female division. | ||
| No, there's not. | ||
| And there's some beast that... | ||
| Especially women. | ||
| But if you think about it, there's some beast African-American women. | ||
| It's a new sport. | ||
| Fucking monsters. | ||
| Wait till they get into it. | ||
| Wait till you have two little Serena Williams sisters who are like, maybe you guys should fight. | ||
| See ya, everybody. | ||
|
unidentified
|
See ya. | |
| They are fucking athletes. | ||
| There's my cryo lady. | ||
| What do you mean they? | ||
| Black people. | ||
| Black people. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| She's white, but her kids are black. | ||
| And her daughter looks like Venus and Serena. | ||
| She's 15. And hey, we should play tennis together. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| How fast do you serve? | ||
| She goes, oh, like a little over 100. I'm like, why the fuck would I want you serving a ball at me in 100 miles? | ||
| Make her play tennis with Callan. | ||
| Callan is a fucking stud. | ||
| He takes lessons. | ||
| We're the pro. | ||
| Show fuck you just like that bodybuilder guy. | ||
| I go... | ||
| And when I back and I go... | ||
| That's a long one. | ||
| And when I serve, I go... | ||
| Eat my dick? | ||
| That's a good thing to say. | ||
| I lose a lot though. | ||
| Did this motherfucker just say eat my dick? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I lose a lot though. | |
| Flies right by you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eat a dick! | |
| Did he just say eat my dick? | ||
| Yeah, but wait till African-American girls go, you know what? | ||
| We can kind of make money in this fight game. | ||
| All the white girls are fucked. | ||
| A lot of Russian and a lot of Polish, like, you know, Ioana, Jacek, and there's a lot of Muay Thai in Europe and in Russia, and I think a lot of those athletes are going to leak into MMA. You know, Ioana's going to Muscle Farm. | ||
| Is she? | ||
| She's doing some of her camp at Muscle Farm. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| I would also suggest that black being a super whatever athlete is a black... | ||
| There's only one black champion right now, right? | ||
| You got Luke Rockhold. | ||
| You got Jon Jones. | ||
| Daniel Cormier is the current champion. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| I don't know why you keep saying Jon Jones. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And then you've got, really, let's say, Jon Jones. | ||
| Then you've got, in the heavyweight division, it's Fabrizio Verdum. | ||
| Then you've got Robbie Lawler, who's Filipino and white. | ||
| And then you've got, at 55, Dos Anjos. | ||
| Why was he Filipino and white? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Why did I not know that? | ||
| Dos Anjos, then you've got... | ||
| So it's Mighty Mouse and Jon Jones. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Yeah, Rafael Dos Anjos. | ||
| Well, Conor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Mighty Mouse and Daniel. | ||
| Just the two. | ||
| You keep saying Jon Jones. | ||
| Daniel Cormier is the light heavyweight champion. | ||
| Yes, he is. | ||
| I apologize, Daniel. | ||
| He's a beast. | ||
| Kind of. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because I watched Jon Jones beat the fuck out of him. | |
| Well, he didn't beat the fuck out of him, but he beat him. | ||
| Oh, I disagree. | ||
| He broke him. | ||
| He won. | ||
| He definitely won. | ||
| He broke him. | ||
| When is that fight happening? | ||
| April 23rd, I think. | ||
| There's already billboards for it. | ||
| Tickets on sale now, I think. | ||
| What you calling that? | ||
| John Jones motivated and in shape power lifting is a dangerous motherfucker, but how much of this is BS? We don't know. | ||
| So he's bigger, stronger, faster with time off, and he already beat him before? | ||
| Well, also, it seems like he's on the straight and narrow, and he's training all the time. | ||
| It seems because he's posting to Instagram? | ||
| I don't know, because Arlovsky, this is the only reason why I question it all, Arlovsky said he's never in the gym. | ||
| Arlowski, you know, might just not like him. | ||
| Who's this? | ||
| This is John Jones? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When did he say that? | ||
| Recently. | ||
| They might be coming at different times. | ||
| Or Arlowski might have been quoted, but it might have been an older quote. | ||
| You know, he might have been, you know, talking about six months ago or four months ago. | ||
| Well, all I know is John with no camp, camp doesn't fucking matter. | ||
| This dude's beating people the fuck up. | ||
| Well, John in shape and motivated. | ||
| You know, it's interesting. | ||
| One of the things that he said that I think was really honest and intense, he said he used to always give himself an excuse for losing. | ||
| So, like, if I lost, I'd be like, well, I didn't even really train. | ||
| Wait till I train. | ||
| But he kept winning. | ||
| You know, he was saying that this fight, he's not doing that. | ||
| And this fight, he is, like, in some serious shape. | ||
| The powerlifting shit is no joke, man. | ||
| When you're watching him do all that powerlifting... | ||
| Didn't he deadlift some, like, 500 pounds? | ||
| Whatever it is, a lot. | ||
| But the point is, his body has obviously changed. | ||
| Like, he's been putting some serious work in. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| You can see the physical results in his body. | ||
| He's bigger. | ||
| I just... | ||
| I don't... | ||
| And I love DC. You know this, DC. I love him. | ||
| I've worked on him a ton. | ||
| I just don't see DC having the skills to beat him. | ||
| I don't see it happening. | ||
| What would DC have to do differently? | ||
| Because he'd have to do something different. | ||
| Well, train with Kane. | ||
| That's the big one. | ||
| Well, he's out. | ||
| But Kane is injured. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Obviously, Kane... | ||
| Yeah, but Kane... | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| Kane was a big part of his training camp. | ||
| And Kane... | ||
| Like, having Kane as... | ||
| Click on that fucking video of him kicking. | ||
| Go to that one right there. | ||
| Let me see that. | ||
| Let me see this. | ||
| Look how jacked he is. | ||
| He's in some serious shape. | ||
| I want to see his kicks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because that's a big part of his game, man. | |
| God, dawg. | ||
| I can help him with that. | ||
| He's moving his front foot first. | ||
| I'm going to have to talk to him. | ||
| That's what you're supposed to do, Dobby. | ||
| You've got to step out, man. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| You can just turn your shoulders. | ||
| No, you turn your fucking front foot, man. | ||
| Don't ever give me kicking advice. | ||
| You don't have to do that because I can see you there. | ||
| You don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| I do know what I'm talking about. | ||
| I see it all the time. | ||
| No, you turn your front foot first. | ||
| It's the most important part of it. | ||
| You keep your body exactly the same. | ||
| Or you pivot on that foot when you go up on your heel and you can get a lot of power. | ||
| You guys don't want to have a kickoff. | ||
| I will 100% show you on a back. | ||
| Please let me show you on a back. | ||
| J.R.E. kickoff. | ||
| You'll see. | ||
| We'll go in the back after this. | ||
| We sure are. | ||
| He definitely could do this better, but what's important is that... | ||
| We know what DC brings, that crazy, relentless pace, boxing, wrestling. | ||
| What's he gonna do? | ||
| Start kicking? | ||
| What's he gonna do different? | ||
| I'd love to hear it. | ||
| And I love DC, but... | ||
| We don't know how much of all the shit-talking and the emotions and all that stuff played a factor in his preparation and his execution during the fight. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| We won't know until we see them go at it again. | ||
| We don't know how much of a factor Kane would play Because Kane's not in his camp right now because Kane got injured training for... | ||
| So he's not there again. | ||
| Not there again. | ||
| And Kane had fucking back surgery, which is some serious shit. | ||
| He had a chunk of his disc removed. | ||
| Poor dude. | ||
| That sucks, man. | ||
| Well, it's also not necessarily necessary because Matt Brown went through the same injury and Matt Brown didn't bother getting a surgery and CM Punk went and got surgery too and I... I've been through it, and I didn't get surgery. | ||
| But that's where I got that machine, that reverse hyper that's in the back, all the yoga that I did, all the other different... | ||
| There's a bunch of different treatments that you could do to take care of a bulging disc, and they involve lengthening your body, stretching and decompressing your spine, and it heals. | ||
| It can heal itself. | ||
| Your body's supposed to be faster, right? | ||
| Yes, but it's also permanent, man. | ||
| You take away that chunk of disc, that chunk of disc is gone now, man. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| Would they replace it, though, correct? | ||
| There's no replacing a discectomy. | ||
| What Kane went through, what he's got is a bulge, right? | ||
| I'm not a doctor. | ||
| I just want to say that real quick. | ||
| So here's his back, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Correct. | |
| So here's his spinal column, and then he's got his discs right next to it. | ||
| Well, one of his bulging discs is pushing against his spine. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Against his spinal column? | ||
| Like his... | ||
| His spine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| His actual spine. | ||
| That's where you get nerve pain. | ||
| Spinal cord. | ||
| That's why you have... | ||
| That's where sciatica comes from. | ||
| And for me, I had it both places. | ||
| I had a little bit of a sciatica at one point in time, and then I had it in my fingers. | ||
| The fingers was real bad, though, but that was cervical. | ||
| When it happens, they just go in there, they open you up, they cut that piece out, and then go back. | ||
| And so now it's not pressing up against you, but you've cut a chunk of your disc out, and you have less cushioning there. | ||
| Not necessarily. | ||
| Either way, that motherfucker's not back for DC. Exactly. | ||
| That's all I'm saying. | ||
| He's not going to be back. | ||
| He's not back for DC. Matt Brown fixed it, and Matt Brown fixed it with Louie Simmons, the same guy who created that reverse hyper. | ||
| He's in the Westside barbell. | ||
| I mean, he went through a bunch of exercises and a bunch of different things to fix it. | ||
| There's ways to fix it, depending upon, of course, how bad the injury is. | ||
| With some people, it's herniated to the point where they have to remove the disc tissue and either put a spacer in there or fuse the two discs together. | ||
| Spacer is generally thought to be... | ||
| The better move for athletics. | ||
| That's what I thought they did with Kane. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| They did a disectomy. | ||
| Because if they did a spacer, he's out for a long time. | ||
| Because there's no wrestling going on for a long ass time. | ||
| He's out for a while though, correct? | ||
| Just a few months. | ||
| I just can't believe that Jon Jones took... | ||
| He took him down the first round. | ||
| I never would have thought that was possible. | ||
| That's how strong he is, too. | ||
| Like Frank Mir said, he's wrestling with Jon Jones. | ||
| Nobody realizes how strong. | ||
| I would assume he's stronger now. | ||
| He's so crazy strong. | ||
| I don't know if it's leverage, but... | ||
| It's all the above. | ||
| He's also been wrestling. | ||
| He's also a Juco national champ. | ||
| He's also a fucking nightmare. | ||
| Didn't he cradle Ryan Bader? | ||
| Didn't he cradle him? | ||
| Was it Bader he did that to? | ||
| Where he just put him in a cradle and just... | ||
| He beat the shit out of Ryan. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| He literally beat the shit out of Ryan. | ||
| Didn't beat the shit out of the way Rumble did. | ||
| That was terrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rumble's terrifying. | ||
| He scares me more than anybody. | ||
| I want to see Rumble fight. | ||
| John Jones. | ||
| It's whether or not Rumble can continue that sort of attack. | ||
| You don't think John takes him down? | ||
| People are gonna figure it out. | ||
| They already have figured it out. | ||
| Well, Daniel did. | ||
| You avoid the big punch, drag him in the later rounds. | ||
| John's a technician. | ||
| Can a guy like him, can a guy like Rumble change? | ||
| He's obviously changed and gotten way better in avoiding the weight cut and becoming a real natural 205 pounder. | ||
| Can he change in as far as not being able to be broken the way DC broke him, the way Josh Koscheck broke him, the way Vitor Belfort broke him? | ||
| I don't think you're born with it, but it's a part of your personality. | ||
| So whether or not you allow your mind to go down those paths. | ||
| Sports psychologists could probably help you. | ||
| I disagree. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Is it possible? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| There have been examples. | ||
| But hold on a second. | ||
| Who's been broke? | ||
| How can you say it's not possible? | ||
| Because it's mental. | ||
| If it's mental, it's most certainly possible. | ||
| You don't think it's a personality trait? | ||
| It's not possible for me to win the high jump. | ||
| That's physically impossible. | ||
| For him, though, it's a mind issue. | ||
| Why couldn't a man adjust the way he looks at the world? | ||
| Isn't it possible that you could, through a rigorous, disciplined Like very focused attempt to change the way you approach various scenarios and dilemmas. | ||
| Isn't it possible that you could change your thinking and wouldn't that be more likely that you could become more mentally tough than it would be that you would be like this physical freak? | ||
| Because it's a physical thing and cardio brings out the weakness in people. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Are you going to put him through these crazy cardio challenges and have a mental coach there? | ||
| Now here's the point where you usually break. | ||
| Let's keep going. | ||
| Well, here's what I think. | ||
| First of all, I don't think he did nearly enough grappling before. | ||
| I think that was a big part of the issue. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not even close. | |
| He was getting mad-dogged by a guy who was an Olympic-caliber wrestler in Daniel Cormier. | ||
| He was just ragging him around. | ||
| I bet he did crazy wrestling. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| I know he didn't. | ||
| Now, he's got Neil Melanson, who's a fucking giant. | ||
| Neil Melanson's huge. | ||
| One of the best in the world. | ||
| Grappling coaches in the world. | ||
| Grappler. | ||
| Might be the best. | ||
| Deep, deep, deep knowledge of submissions. | ||
| Also, a lot of catch. | ||
| He's really knowledgeable about catch wrestling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| Phenomenal. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Brilliant. | ||
| But he also understands big man jiu-jitsu. | ||
| He's a big motherfucker. | ||
| And if you're rolling with that guy, I guarantee you're spending some time on your back. | ||
| He gave Randy Couture his black belt. | ||
| He's Randy Couture's coach forever. | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Neil Melanson. | ||
| He's a stud. | ||
| This is how fucking crazy Neil Melanson. | ||
| You ready for this? | ||
| Neil Melanson had a broken toe. | ||
| They said, Neil, you're going to have to be off the mats for six months. | ||
| He goes, cut it off. | ||
| The Ronnie Lott did that, yeah. | ||
| Dude, he had his toe cut off so he could keep rolling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, no. | |
| Come on, son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He had a terribly broken toe. | |
| Going back to the mental thing, with a mental coach, man, I think sometimes there's just... | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| I think some people, it's just in their DNA. They just break easier than others. | ||
| I don't think it's a DNA issue. | ||
| What I think it is, is it being a big, strong, tough guy and being used to being the hammer. | ||
| And then when you're the nail, you can't handle it and you fall apart because you're unaccustomed to it. | ||
| Rather than a guy like, here's a good example, Darren Elkins. | ||
| You can hit that motherfucker with a baseball bat and he keeps coming forward. | ||
| He's used to getting beat on. | ||
| He's not a big guy. | ||
| He's a tough guy. | ||
| John Jones isn't, though. | ||
| Look at him with Josephine. | ||
| John Jones is a stud. | ||
| Barely trained. | ||
| Was getting beat up. | ||
| Well, John Jones has two big brothers, and his bigger brother beat his ass all through his life, and I think he's accustomed to getting his ass beat by his big brother. | ||
| I think his brother Arthur did him a fantastic service in being bigger and kicking his ass all throughout his life. | ||
| That helps for sure. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it does. | ||
| I think it goes in two ways. | ||
| Either you're born with it, like you said, or some traumatic event in your life that maybe has something to do that maybe it doesn't, but it switches on that quit in your mind and your body. | ||
| Some of it's just mental, some of it's physical, your body gives out, or your brain gives out. | ||
| I think there's multiple ways to look at it. | ||
| Obviously, Vinny Shorman could fix him. | ||
| Yeah, Vinny Shorman's a hypnotist. | ||
| Shout out to my mind coach, Vinny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what he calls himself, mind coach. | |
| I think it can definitely be a learned behavior. | ||
| To quit. | ||
| Whether it's you got taught that, or you got that imposed on you, or someone made you break when you were young. | ||
| It's a habit. | ||
| When he was little. | ||
| There's a lot of ways to go about it. | ||
| I'm not saying something bad happened in his life. | ||
| Maybe it was something good that made him say, well, fuck this, I'm out. | ||
| You boys don't think at his level he's gotten a mental coach? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of ways. | |
| You don't think he's ever talked to a mental coach? | ||
| I'm sure he has. | ||
| There's a lot of fighters that have never gotten a mental coach. | ||
| I asked Cowboy about it, and he's like, shit. | ||
| Cowboy laughed in my face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Catboy's never had a fucking mental coach. | ||
| Has he? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Do you think Catboy's had a mental coach? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| Why are you making that face? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You think he's a liar? | ||
| No. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| Ian, when you're kind of against the ropes here, how do you talk to yourself? | ||
| Like, what do you do? | ||
| I'm my own worst enemy. | ||
| We all are. | ||
| I just fucking talk shit to myself. | ||
| It depends. | ||
| Sometimes I'm going in and I feel great, and some days I just sit there and I'm like, wow, I'm fucked. | ||
| Like going out for my last fight. | ||
| Sitting there, backstage, and just slumps in a chair. | ||
| Why? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| This was after working with Vinny, though. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I started working with Vinny after this. | ||
| And, you know, personal problems. | ||
| With me, it's always, like, women problems and shit like that. | ||
| Bitches and money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bitch? | |
| How dare you let a girl affect your fighting? | ||
| Hey, I'm a pussy. | ||
| Hey, let me ask you this. | ||
| It's happened before. | ||
| It's going to happen again. | ||
| But I say this. | ||
| It's the same as any other job, and I'm sure with stand-up. | ||
| Some nights, and I felt this way, there's probably three fights. | ||
| Man, any other night, I'm down. | ||
| I just don't feel like fucking fighting tonight. | ||
| For whatever reason, I just don't feel like it. | ||
| Well, stand-up is way more relaxed. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm just saying for your job. | ||
| I'm sure there's nights when you're performing for a thousand people, you're like, damn, I really don't feel like doing that. | ||
| And it's usually the same thing. | ||
| It's usually a girl thing. | ||
| Like, you get in a fight with your girlfriend or something like that, and you go out there, you just don't feel funny. | ||
| I fuck up when I have an acting job. | ||
| This is gonna sound crazy, but sometimes when you have an audition, like think about this, and it's three pages. | ||
| It's just three pages. | ||
| You can do it in your sleep. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| It's the network test. | ||
| You go in there, there are probably 15 people. | ||
| Showtime. | ||
| All you have to do is just do three pages. | ||
| I've gotten myself there. | ||
| It's between me and another guy. | ||
| If I get it, I will make a million dollars. | ||
| I will make one million dollars for the year and I won't have to work for it. | ||
| It's a sitcom. | ||
| I'll make a million dollars. | ||
| Just do what you did. | ||
| Just do three pages. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| It's like, don't miss that putt. | ||
| That's when I get nervous. | ||
| That's when I fuck myself. | ||
| See, when I went out for news radio, there was two auditions for news radio. | ||
| One was a cattle call. | ||
| It was like 100 people. | ||
| It was a giant long line. | ||
| And I had a development deal with NBC, and I just didn't know that I was going to be a part of a cattle call. | ||
| I was like, this is crazy. | ||
| And I went in, and the script was not funny. | ||
| Like, on purpose. | ||
| They had decided to write it where they were going to weed out all the hams. | ||
| They didn't want anybody to read it like... | ||
| What am I supposed to do? | ||
| They wanted to weed out all that shit. | ||
| So I went in, I read it, and I remember I talked to my manager. | ||
| He's like, how'd it go? | ||
| I go, man, the script wasn't funny. | ||
| I mean, I just, I pretended it was really happening. | ||
| That's all I did. | ||
| I just did it like it was really happening. | ||
| And so then... | ||
| There was only a few people that apparently made the cut and then I went in there for the second audition It was me and three other dudes who looked like they were about to fucking ship off to Vietnam They were sweating and they were pale and you know, I was 26 at the time So I was only like four years removed from my last fight or something like that And I looked at all these guys all nervous and sweaty and I sat on the couch and And I put my feet up and I didn't even read the script. | ||
| I just sat back and I did it like in front of them. | ||
| What's up, bitch? | ||
| I was like, you fucking pussies. | ||
| You guys don't know how to perform under pressure. | ||
| I go, this is gonna be great. | ||
| Mind game. | ||
| And I sat there and I like looked at the script a little bit. | ||
| I'm like, shit. | ||
| And it was funny. | ||
| That's the way to do it. | ||
| And I had prepared so I knew that it was funny. | ||
| So I was ready. | ||
| But when I saw these guys all sweaty, it was like there was three or four guys I think, but they looked like they were just fucking terrified. | ||
| One guy was doing it. | ||
| He was like... | ||
| He was like practicing by himself. | ||
| I'm like, that bitch ain't getting it. | ||
| And I looked at the other guy. | ||
| The other guy looked like he was about to get shot. | ||
| They looked like they were about to die. | ||
| And so that alone gave me massive confidence. | ||
| And I went in there super loose. | ||
| Super loose and relaxed. | ||
| Because I'm like, if it's between me and these pussies, I'm like, I got it for sure. | ||
| And they can sense that confidence too. | ||
| That's the way to do it. | ||
| Well, I did it on purpose for the guys. | ||
| It was like I was competing against these guys. | ||
| I was like, I'm going to make these guys. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| That's a huge advantage. | ||
| But I never get, I don't get, I'm not nervous by nature. | ||
| I don't get nervous when I have to perform ever. | ||
| And that's the only time because my mind is telling myself it's so ridiculous to be nervous that I'm literally sabotaging myself. | ||
| It's not ridiculous to be nervous. | ||
| It's not ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know, man. | |
| It means you care and you want to. | ||
| I don't do well when I'm nervous. | ||
| You're thinking about the wrong thing. | ||
| I'm thinking about the wrong thing. | ||
| You're not being in the moment. | ||
| You're thinking about the consequences. | ||
| They can't do that. | ||
| You're doing it for the wrong reason then. | ||
| Yeah, you're doing it for the wrong reason. | ||
| Because I don't want to act. | ||
| Then you shouldn't be there. | ||
| I know that. | ||
| I've never once gotten in the fight being like, God, the money I'm going to make or if I win. | ||
| I've never once ever in my life thought about it. | ||
| I think it's because I'm lying. | ||
| I think it's because I'm lying to myself when I go into those auditions. | ||
| I go all the way. | ||
| And then I get in there, and now I just do this, and I think it's because I'm being a liar. | ||
| You might be self-sabotaging yourself. | ||
| I am! | ||
| Because you don't want to be there. | ||
| Right, because I've never done an acting job where I didn't want it to end. | ||
| You say you don't, but at one point in time, you Deeply wanted to be on a sitcom. | ||
| It was all you wanted to do. | ||
| You weren't even doing stand-up for a big part of our friendship. | ||
| Yeah, I was acting a lot. | ||
| I was doing a lot of plays. | ||
| I was doing a lot of TV. You were also pretending to be an actor. | ||
| It was gross. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You would talk like one of them. | ||
| Don't get carried away. | ||
| I'd talk like one of them. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| A little bit. | ||
| Did he count me like executives? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A little bit! | |
| When he's around executives, he was talking about a woman. | ||
| Any time someone would bring up a woman, he would immediately be super progressive and overemphasize how good she is. | ||
| She's amazing! | ||
| Oh my god, she's amazing. | ||
| And I'd be like, what? | ||
| She's not that good. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| He would be talking about a female comedian. | ||
| I can't believe you guys were friends from the jump. | ||
| That's what's crazy to me. | ||
| Right off the bat. | ||
| Because we never bullshitted each other. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I wasn't pulling the wool over his eyes. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| He was in the worst environment. | ||
| The worst environment, in my opinion, is those sketch shows. | ||
| Because everybody's scrambling and being competitive. | ||
| And he was the only one that was cool. | ||
| Well, him and Artie. | ||
| Artie was cool as fuck. | ||
| Artie Lang. | ||
| And it was him and Artie Lang were the only ones, and me and Artie had a scene together, and I had a scene with Brian, but then there was all these other people that were on the set that were brutal. | ||
| This is MADtv? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| They were mean to him. | ||
| He was our guest. | ||
| They weren't mean to me. | ||
| No. | ||
| Everybody was fine with it. | ||
| If you look back at those videos, I think I sent you the picture. | ||
| You guys are so young. | ||
| We're young. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're in our 20s. | |
| I couldn't believe it. | ||
| We're in our 20s. | ||
| I've known Joe since I was 27, dude. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| Look at us. | ||
| Yes, that's it. | ||
| Look at my hair. | ||
| It's so beautiful. | ||
| I miss it so much. | ||
| Look at Callan. | ||
| I miss it so much. | ||
| Goddamn you. | ||
| That chick was really funny, man. | ||
| What was her name? | ||
| That's Mary Shearer. | ||
| The great Mary Shearer, who to this day is the funniest female actor. | ||
| She's probably the most talented person I've ever worked with. | ||
| She was so funny. | ||
| You're so buff back then. | ||
| I have a beautiful body. | ||
| I'm going to take my shirt off after this podcast. | ||
| He was a pool boy. | ||
| He had this great character that would dance around. | ||
| Was that a wig you were wearing? | ||
| Yes, it was. | ||
| That was a wig. | ||
| I got a lot of gay fan mail and a lot of fan mail from jail. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| I still have the letters I got from jail. | ||
|
unidentified
|
From jail? | |
| Yep. | ||
| That woman, she used to wear like leather skin makeup to make herself look like she was over tanned and she had this crazy character. | ||
| We had Jennifer Aspinall who is a multi Emmy award winning makeup artist and she did like magical shit. | ||
| Joe, when did you decide acting, just fuck acting? | ||
| Well, I really loved news radio. | ||
| And I loved it because it was just the best case scenario. | ||
| Fantastic writing, great, talented actors, you know, all the above. | ||
| And it never was successful, which is perfect. | ||
| Because everybody had to keep trying and nobody ever got a big head. | ||
| It never made it. | ||
| It barely putt, putt, putt, barely stayed alive. | ||
| It was a perfect environment with some really talented people. | ||
| Still one of the greatest sitcoms ever in my opinion. | ||
| But you enjoyed the whole process? | ||
| I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed stand-up, but I enjoyed it immensely. | ||
| And way more than I enjoyed any other things after that. | ||
| After that, I had development deals for like a year or two. | ||
| Which means what? | ||
| They give you some money and they try to put together a sitcom. | ||
| And it's based around you. | ||
| And then I got a chance to see what it's like. | ||
| Actors are like the worst comedians without punchlines. | ||
| Like, the worst comedians meaning not like the worst, like not funny, but mean the most crazy, the most neurotic. | ||
| And the actual act itself of auditioning and trying to get gigs, it enforces that. | ||
| You're always trying to get people to love you. | ||
| You're always looking for approval. | ||
| Well, you can never just be at peace. | ||
| You're always worried that you have to say the right thing. | ||
| You have to be liberal. | ||
| If you're not liberal, if you are a Republican, you better be fucking uber successful before you come out as a Republican. | ||
| You have to say those things. | ||
| You have to be super progressive. | ||
| You have to be super left-wing. | ||
| And you also, you gotta play this bullshit political game where everybody's fake. | ||
| They're all saying fake things and it feels so gross. | ||
| And coming from comedy from the East Coast, doing stand-up, from going from fighting and then stand-up to this. | ||
| I can't see you being an actor. | ||
| That's why I'm like, what the fuck? | ||
| I can't see you. | ||
| You did it for five years. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| I get my throat gets tight when we start talking about it. | ||
| I think it's because it's all... | ||
| Nothing drives me more nuts when guys pose, especially if they're not fighters. | ||
| If they're fighters, I get it. | ||
| It's the thing, but when they put their fist up for a picture. | ||
| I told Brian, I go, what the fuck is this? | ||
| We both know this guy. | ||
| It's a picture of him and his friend with their fist up. | ||
| I go, why the fuck do people do this? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| They're just tools. | ||
| You will never see me put my fist up anymore. | ||
| I never do it. | ||
| It's a tool move. | ||
| It's so weird to me. | ||
| People have asked me to do it with them. | ||
| Hey, put your fist up for this picture. | ||
| I go, no. | ||
| Can't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| They always want to square off with me and fucking get in my leg. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| The fist. | ||
| But you'll see big dudes. | ||
| I'm not going to say who the guy is, but he's a big guy in the pictures on Instagram. | ||
| He's like, ugh. | ||
| I told Brian, why the fuck you think he does that? | ||
| He goes, because he's not really tough. | ||
| It's like an ego thing. | ||
| Well, it's also like a culture thing. | ||
| They think that it's a cool way to stand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It's like doing this, doing the shaka. | ||
| Oh, I'd take the shaka. | ||
| Yeah, shaka's cool. | ||
| That's fun, but I'm saying it's like that's one of those things. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| Like other people are doing the shaka. | ||
| You do the shaka. | ||
| It's like the Will Ferrell thing in Talladega Nights. | ||
| I don't know what to do with my hands. | ||
| Starts covering his face. | ||
| It's his first interview. | ||
| I fucking love that movie. | ||
| He's like, you know, I don't know what to do with my head. | ||
| God, I love that movie. | ||
| Fuck, yeah, I love that movie. | ||
| Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm on fire! | |
| I'm on fire! | ||
| I like how they put the view right in his face too and he's running around. | ||
| I love how his buddy's in his house and he can't figure out how to work his system because his buddy's banging his wife now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He calls him and he goes, hey, how do you turn on the radio? | |
| What do you want to listen to the radio and the TV at the same time? | ||
| Because I like to party. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's in his house and he fucking cut out his picture and put his head on his family's picture. | |
| How about when he's paralyzed? | ||
| When he's paralyzed, they're like, you're not paralyzed. | ||
| He's in the hospital. | ||
| They stab a knife in his... | ||
| That and Stepbrothers, man. | ||
| He stays amazing. | ||
| Will Ferrell is just... | ||
| His ability... | ||
| And John C. Reilly, too. | ||
| Nobody has a bad thing to say about him. | ||
| John C. Reilly's a beast. | ||
| Will Ferrell's a great guy. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| Competitive, too. | ||
| I have friends who played golf with him, and they're like, he's a competitive guy. | ||
| He's not letting you win. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was such a great movie. | ||
| Look at his eyes. | ||
| Look at his eyes and the intensity. | ||
| And that girl, Leslie Bibb, that was in that movie. | ||
| Oh, she's great. | ||
| I did Zookeeper with her. | ||
| She played my girlfriend in that movie Zookeeper. | ||
| And there's a movie that I did, but I only did because Kevin James, my buddy, and he asked me to do it. | ||
| I didn't have to audition. | ||
| He just asked me to do it. | ||
| But you're not... | ||
| You're acting, but you're not like a character. | ||
| Yeah, that's the other one. | ||
| Here Comes the Boom, I played myself. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| That was when he was going to be an MMA fighter. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I only had like a couple scenes in that one. | ||
| There's a bunch of guys in there. | ||
| Mayhem Miller. | ||
| Yep, yep. | ||
| Kristoff. | ||
| Boss Ruten. | ||
| Just a paycheck at that point, right? | ||
| Well, this is a buddy of mine asking me to do something. | ||
| But the Zookeeper one was fun. | ||
| And it was a kid's movie. | ||
| And I was like, that'd be cool for my kids to see. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| It's silly. | ||
| It's a bunch of monkeys talking to me. | ||
| Cal and I have been doing this thing with Firing the Kid for Fox, these episodes. | ||
| And to me, acting is so... | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| It's like music actors. | ||
| It's so mysterious. | ||
| Athletes? | ||
| Whatever, man. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I get how they get their hard work, talent. | ||
| But the acting to me is so... | ||
| It's so different. | ||
| They're like... | ||
| You're doing a good job. | ||
| They're aliens to me. | ||
| It's a weird occupation. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| And people take it so goddamn seriously. | ||
| And they think it's so special when people do so well. | ||
| Chris Rock had a great line that he was preparing before he was doing the Oscars. | ||
| He was like, if you go to see the Grammys, they're singing. | ||
| The Oscars, they don't even act. | ||
| No one does anything. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't act. | |
| They don't do shit. | ||
| It's the most boring award show. | ||
| He's like, I've hosted it twice. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck's going on. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| How crunk were people that Leonardo DiCaprio won? | ||
| You probably don't even watch it, but people were so crunk that this guy with 275 million won. | ||
| Even I was crunk. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Yeah, it's insane. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who cares? | |
| It's an award. | ||
| It's an award for your make-believe. | ||
| You're really good at make-believe. | ||
| You guys came to each other. | ||
| I just don't care. | ||
| I like movies, but the award shows to me are so nonsensical. | ||
| Whether it's award shows for comedy or award shows for music, I don't fucking care. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense to me. | ||
| Here's the reward. | ||
| Do people like it? | ||
| Do they go to see your movie? | ||
| Do they enjoy it? | ||
| Then you win. | ||
| It's like this idea that there's one better movie than all the other movies is stupid. | ||
| That is weird. | ||
| It's a human thing to crown a champion. | ||
| How the fuck did Ex Machina not win? | ||
| How did that not win best movie? | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| Over the Reverend? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Excuse me, sir. | ||
| I didn't see Reverend. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| I know, I always throw an R on there. | ||
| I have a speech impediment. | ||
| I was throwing an R on there. | ||
| Ex Machina was a really good movie? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| It was slow, but I liked it. | ||
| Ex Machina was amazing. | ||
| Not better than Reverend. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| Revenant didn't do it for me, man. | ||
| The story. | ||
| I gotta go watch it. | ||
| I didn't see it, so I can't comment. | ||
| Didn't care about any of the characters. | ||
| Was Ex Machina in the running for best movie? | ||
| Uh, no. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a hard no. | |
| Then your movie theater thing is bullshit. | ||
| Your ratings are bullshit. | ||
| Your movie theater bullshit is bullshit. | ||
| Mad Max fucking cleaned up, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Mad Max. | ||
| See, that was a movie I thought was pretty good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought it was alright. | |
| It was fun. | ||
| It's a remake. | ||
| Pretty unique, though. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| It's a remake. | ||
| I knew what was going to happen. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Who's going to survive? | ||
| Ex Machina, I did not know what the fuck was going to happen, and I was wrong at the end. | ||
| I've got to see this. | ||
| Don't tell me anything I've got to see. | ||
| Ex Machina is a goddamn great movie. | ||
| They were nominated for a bunch of special effects awards. | ||
| Not this Oscar. | ||
| I think they won something for special effects. | ||
| Did they, James? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| Did it win? | ||
| I didn't see a sniff of that movie. | ||
| That movie is not allowed in that. | ||
| Did you see it? | ||
| Have you seen it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Hey, man. | ||
| Goddamn, it's good. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey, man. | |
| It's a goddamn good movie. | ||
| Dude, you know what I can't get enough of, and I highly doubt anyone here is watching, but it's the O.J. Simpson thing on FX. Everybody keeps telling me that! | ||
| I was at the store the other night, and they had it in the back comics bar. | ||
| They were watching it, and Cuba Gunning Jr. plays OJ, which I did not know. | ||
| I was like, what? | ||
| Dude, Johnny Cochran in that movie, when a guy gives a racist thing, it is... | ||
| Oscar win is a triumph. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| For low budget. | ||
| Visual effects. | ||
| Ah, well, it should have. | ||
| Boom, there you go. | ||
| It should have won for visual effects. | ||
| It's a goddamn fan. | ||
| That's this year? | ||
| Fantastic movie. | ||
| I'm gonna watch it. | ||
| It's a fantastic movie. | ||
| It's one of my all-time favorite movies. | ||
| Wait, does it happen in space? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| No, it's about artificial intelligence. | ||
| It's about a guy who builds artificial people. | ||
| It's fucking amazing. | ||
| Did you see AI with Will Smith? | ||
| Is that what it's called, AI? It's not the same. | ||
| This is way better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Robot. | |
| No, that was good. | ||
| Robot was good. | ||
| That was good. | ||
| This is way better. | ||
| Really? | ||
| It's one of the best movies I've ever seen. | ||
| Completely different movie, though. | ||
| It's in my top ten all-time favorite movies. | ||
| Goddamn, Rogan. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's right up there with Apocalypse Now to me. | ||
| For real. | ||
| Shit, son. | ||
| It's a great movie. | ||
| It's also the implications. | ||
| People right now scream, you fucking piece of shit! | ||
| It's opinions, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We all have opinions. | |
| That's what you like. | ||
| But there's something about it also to me because this is a subject that I am engrossed in. | ||
| Almost every day I read about artificial intelligence. | ||
| Every day, I get up, I go to Scientific American, I go to all these different websites, and I search. | ||
| I will look up artificial intelligence, go to news, read the latest shit, and is one of the main subjects that repeats in my mind like a metronome all day long. | ||
| That's your thing. | ||
| So that's why you love the movie. | ||
| It's going to change our entire paradigm. | ||
| I think it's going to be the future of government. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think we're going to have rules that are established by artificial intelligence, and that's going to be how we decide and act and how we decide and make choices. | ||
| Damn, the robots are going to start running shit? | ||
| I really do believe that. | ||
| I think that's going to be the solution to the cult of personality that we're dealing with right now with Donald Trump being the frontrunner for president. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| I've got to tell you right now, Hillary Clinton is not going to beat Donald Trump. | ||
| That's what I say, Joe. | ||
| Yes, she is. | ||
| No, she's not. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I disagree. | |
| He doesn't have a chance. | ||
| You're out of your mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| That's what I was telling you, Brian. | ||
| The numbers, any political opponent, the numbers just don't add up for Trump. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| That's not true at all. | ||
| They were saying the numbers didn't add up for him six months ago when they said he didn't have a chance. | ||
| He's the frontrunner by far right now. | ||
| Unless something changes... | ||
| He's got to say this in order to get acting gigs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like either one. | |
| Look up the numbers, Jamie. | ||
| I don't like either one. | ||
| Hey Brian, I don't have a dog in the following. | ||
| I don't like either of them. | ||
| Let me make a statement. | ||
| Before you make the statement, Jamie, look up the numbers. | ||
| Hillary Clinton's support approval rating versus Donald Trump. | ||
| Let's just look at this and then you comment before you go. | ||
| She's going to win the election. | ||
| First of all, she has huge problems in that she's involved in a criminal investigation. | ||
| She might be indicted. | ||
| That's a big issue. | ||
| That's the black swan. | ||
| And the big fucking issue is that email thing. | ||
| I had Mike Baker on, formerly CIA operative, and he was on yesterday and he was saying, anybody else, he said if it was me that did the same thing she did, I'd be in jail. | ||
| He was talking about how they cut and pasted. | ||
| Okay, let's see what we got here. | ||
| What is the red and what is the blue? | ||
| Red's Trump, blue's Clinton. | ||
| So she's way ahead of him? | ||
| No. | ||
| 43 to 46. 43 to 46 percent. | ||
| What is that graph then? | ||
| Why is she above him? | ||
| What is that representing? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's time. | |
| I don't understand that graph. | ||
| What does that graph mean, then? | ||
| Percentage of votes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Poll average? | |
| She's way ahead in African Americans and in Latino votes, and there's no way he's going to close that gap. | ||
| Well, she's 3% ahead. | ||
| She's also got the majority of the Democrats, from what I understand. | ||
| Trump is having a tough time with women, too. | ||
| Who's going to be with her and who's going to be with him? | ||
| I can't believe those are the only two. | ||
| Everybody will be with Trump except for... | ||
| No, I mean running mates. | ||
| Oh, running mates. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who's gonna be his running mate? | ||
| Chris Christie. | ||
| No fucking way is that fat slob getting in. | ||
| He endorsed him. | ||
| His fat ass endorsed him. | ||
| Who cares? | ||
| Because you can't. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| No. | ||
| You can't have an addict. | ||
| By the way, that guy's an addict. | ||
| With food? | ||
| Yes, he's an addict. | ||
| There's no question about it. | ||
| That guy got his stomach stapled and he's still fat. | ||
| He's crazy fat. | ||
| Did he burst through it? | ||
| Yes, I'm sure. | ||
| Did you see him pitching at the baseball game? | ||
| He's disgusting. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| But he's eating terrible foods. | ||
| It's a terrible thing. | ||
| And I'm not fat shaming. | ||
| But I'm saying if you're going to have a leader, you cannot have a leader who's, by the way, hugely anti-marijuana. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He said, marijuana, if I'm the president, we're going to outlaw all this stuff. | |
| You fucking dummy. | ||
| You don't even understand what you're talking about. | ||
| Outlaw fast food, you fatty. | ||
| You're doing something that's way worse for your body than marijuana ever will be. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Preach. | |
| I just don't understand who he's going to be running with. | ||
| See this? | ||
| If it's Rubio, he's got a real chance. | ||
| Look at this right here. | ||
| Super Tuesday could do him the GOPS poll show both Clinton and Sanders smoking Trump. | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| It's not gonna happen. | ||
| Sorry, Donald Trump's not gonna be the president unless something crazy happens. | ||
| To doom the GOP. Bernie Sanders beat Trump? | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| But that's polls, man. | ||
| Polls are only people willing to answer polls. | ||
| And they were really bad. | ||
| Polls used to be representative of the winner. | ||
| They would go exit polls. | ||
| They were so off with Bush versus Kerry. | ||
| They were so off that they haven't been accurate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not just polls. | |
| They're just numbers. | ||
| I mean, most of the political opponents who really are in the know. | ||
| When Brian's bullshitting, he does this thing where he calms down, and instead of getting emotional, he's just like, well, there's more. | ||
| I get very calm. | ||
| He gets, like, I think his dad used to, like, chastise him, and he would say something stupid. | ||
| His dad would talk calmly. | ||
| No, my dad would do the opposite. | ||
| Oh, no, my dad would yell? | ||
| Oh, no, no, he wouldn't do that. | ||
| No, my father would do this. | ||
| Go ahead and start making a point. | ||
| Watch this. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Christie faces calls to quit. | ||
| Approval drop after backing Trump. | ||
| I wonder why. | ||
| Six newspapers calling for him to resign. | ||
| What are fucking newspapers? | ||
| Who are they? | ||
| People with opinions? | ||
| Why are they asking him to resign? | ||
| Resign what, though? | ||
| As a governor of New Jersey? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| For endorsing Trump? | ||
| He's just not a good leader. | ||
| He's not a wise man. | ||
| He says foolish things. | ||
| Who's this, Trump? | ||
| No, Christie. | ||
| I think Trump is more of a showman. | ||
| A narcissist. | ||
| Trump's an entertainer. | ||
| Christie says foolish things. | ||
| He says foolish things that aren't backed by science. | ||
| He's very discriminatory when it comes to my beloved marijuana. | ||
| I can't listen to Chris Christie. | ||
| I don't agree with that. | ||
| I think that's a little harsh. | ||
| No, he's no discipline. | ||
| Winston Churchill drank and had a weight problem. | ||
| First of all, that's English. | ||
| The idea that somebody has a weight problem and they wouldn't be an effective leader to me doesn't hold water at all. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Who's the fattest president we've ever had? | ||
| Who's the obese president we've ever had? | ||
| That's not an effective argument. | ||
| We've never had an obese president. | ||
| People are prejudicial when they vote. | ||
| Winston Churchill was from a long time ago, and alcohol was celebrated then as a manly thing to consume. | ||
| If you took the fat ratio, if you took whatever it is, the body fat test on some of the CEOs or great inventors or scientists or whatever they were, I don't know that you would find... | ||
| I'm talking about presidents. | ||
| You don't have any numbers. | ||
| There's no fat president. | ||
| Yeah, but you don't have any numbers right now. | ||
| There's never been a fat president. | ||
| But I mean the idea that because somebody's fat means that they are... | ||
| Yes, he has no discipline. | ||
| That guy's not just fat. | ||
| That's just not true. | ||
| First of all. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| He's not just fat. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| He's not just fat. | ||
| He's a fat guy who's undergone an operation to not be fat anymore and he's still fat. | ||
| Well, I'm saying that you can be not disciplined in one area of our life, but have a huge brain and a huge intellect. | ||
| Right, but he doesn't have that either. | ||
| But he says foolish things and he's fat. | ||
| He's a different story. | ||
| I'm just saying in general, when you generalize and say I could not vote for somebody or take somebody seriously as a leader because they're fat, for me, I disagree. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For me, it's discriminatory. | |
| Yes, it is. | ||
| But it's also judging someone based on their own personal choices. | ||
| The choices that you make to be an addict and to not seek out healthy food and to seek out body harmony. | ||
| His body is out of whack. | ||
| He's, like, grossly overweight, and he went through going under. | ||
| Like, he gave in saying that, like, I don't have the discipline to deal with my issue, so what I'm going to do is go to a doctor and get cut open so my stomach is smaller. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| There are a lot of great writers. | ||
| Stop what you're saying. | ||
| Stephen King had a major alcohol problem. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Don't say that that doesn't matter. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| The major alcohol problem that he had was a part of his creative process and that he recognized was a giant- He also wrote books! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes it was! | |
| I read his book! | ||
| I read his book on writing! | ||
| So I read that book too and what did he say in the book? | ||
| He talked about how he used to drink and do coke and he would find these fucking- It was a part of his process. | ||
| He realized it was killing him. | ||
| He stopped doing it! | ||
| Christie is still eating like a pig! | ||
| Stephen King makes a very important statement. | ||
| That's not a leader. | ||
| He's an artist. | ||
| He's an artist. | ||
| He's not a leader of the fucking United States. | ||
| I understand if you don't want to vote for your leader because he's heavy. | ||
| What I'm saying is that the idea that somebody wouldn't be effective because they have a weight problem is erroneous. | ||
| It doesn't hold water. | ||
| And I'm saying just tell me the biggest president we've ever had and go. | ||
| Who's the most obese president? | ||
| That's not a good argument though, Brennan, because we don't have a bald president with the exception of Ford. | ||
| He was pretty fat. | ||
| He's thicker than a Snickers right there. | ||
| Was he good? | ||
| Especially back then. | ||
| He's jolly. | ||
| He's huge, but was he a good president? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was also a really long time ago, too. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And Taft was only in power for a very short period of time. | ||
| It was also back when people were starving to death. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, when you were fat, it was awesome. | ||
| When people like that were just eating, exactly, eating and eating and eating and being rich. | ||
| I think I'm reacting to the fact that we live in a culture now where, you know... | ||
| There's body shaming? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at that, though. | |
| Look at that. | ||
| Fuck you, Count. | ||
| You want that as your president? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you. | |
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's not looking so good. | ||
| He's also got this, like, upper cock fat that is so unappetizing. | ||
| He's got a gut. | ||
| It's called a fupa. | ||
| It's called a fupa. | ||
| Yeah, the upper cock fat. | ||
| I mean, come on. | ||
| Gee whiz, that's a terrible... | ||
| Go meet with the other leaders of the world. | ||
| You might be right, guys. | ||
| This is also post-surgery. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You have to understand the discipline issue. | ||
| It's a real discipline issue. | ||
| Dude, I fired an agent. | ||
| We were talking on the phone. | ||
| He was great on paper. | ||
| I met him in person. | ||
| I've seen he was letting some stuff slip. | ||
| I'm like, oh, that's weird. | ||
| Me in person, he's 400 pounds. | ||
| Gotta let you go, man. | ||
| Obviously, there's some sort of discipline issue. | ||
| There has to be. | ||
| But you can be indisciplined on one side of your life and very disciplined in others. | ||
| That is true. | ||
| It's compartmentalized. | ||
| And sometimes you do have an issue, and clearly that is a food issue. | ||
| I'm saying I don't want the President of the United States struggling with his diet when he has to make these huge decisions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
When that's the biggest fight in his life and his health is in danger. | |
| King makes an interesting distinction just when we brought him up and he said, I was a very talented guy with a substance abuse problem. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| And he said a lot of people make the mistake of saying that my substance abuse was the reason I was so talented. | ||
| He said, not true. | ||
| No, that's not necessarily what he said. | ||
| What he said was that the creative process was enhanced by his substance abuse problem. | ||
| He says that's not the case. | ||
| I'm a Stephen King fan. | ||
| His shit that he wrote when he was fucked up was better. | ||
| Way better. | ||
| He got shitty when he was sober. | ||
| He's also an artist. | ||
| Big difference, man. | ||
| I want my artist doing some weird shit. | ||
| I wouldn't want Stephen King when he was coked up balancing my checkbook. | ||
| But expanding your mind, he's got to get in there. | ||
| You need to have fucking discipline to be a president. | ||
| You need to be a healthy person. | ||
| You also need to be a role model. | ||
| It's a figurehead for the United States of America. | ||
| It's not as simple as... | ||
| I see what you're saying, though. | ||
| Jack Kennedy was It was a huge womanizer. | ||
| I want that as my president. | ||
| It's a different thing, man. | ||
| It's a different thing, first of all, and we didn't know. | ||
| No one knew back then. | ||
| Martin Luther King. | ||
| We know he's a slob. | ||
| It's like right in front of his face. | ||
| It's a different world back then. | ||
| The world was different. | ||
| But you could also say it was a breakdown in self-control, right? | ||
| In one way or another. | ||
| Maybe, or it was just standard operational procedure. | ||
| You also don't become a leader by just dating one chick. | ||
| Well, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| They were dick-slingers. | ||
| They were presidential dick-slingers. | ||
| His dick-slinging might be food, though, is what I'm saying. | ||
| Well, it's a different thing, though, because it wasn't interfering with his health. | ||
| Like, Christie's physical body is massively falling apart. | ||
| And the guy got a fucking operation, and it didn't do much. | ||
| I mean, he's still grossly overweight. | ||
| I mean, he used to be way bigger. | ||
| That doesn't bother you at all, Callan? | ||
| I almost want my president a superhero. | ||
| I feel like you're kind of being a contrarian here. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I actually don't know if it bothers me or not. | ||
| Well, let me tell you. | ||
| I understand your point. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Try to explore it. | |
| And I think it's a good point. | ||
| Explore it. | ||
| What it doesn't bother you. | ||
| You say you don't know if it bothers you. | ||
| Explore it. | ||
| Because health is important for presidents. | ||
| They have to go through all those health checks. | ||
| That's why Trump came out and they said, fuck, they said, I'm in great shape. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| President Obama, beast and shit. | ||
| I'm not trying to be a contrarian at all. | ||
| I understand and respect somebody's point of view where they say, you know what? | ||
| You are not able to control your own biology. | ||
| Therefore, I wonder what your judgment would be like as a leader. | ||
| 100% valid. | ||
| Well, you're judging a person when they're running for president. | ||
| You're 100% judging them. | ||
| And he falls massively short in the department of taking care of his own physical being. | ||
| Most of us, and we know that most of us when we hire somebody, if one guy's in shape, the other guy's not, we're going to just instinctively go, we're going to make those conclusions. | ||
| In a way, it's fair in terms of how you look at the world, where you say, you know what? | ||
| If you can't control your own biology, I wonder what else you can't control. | ||
| And as a fat person, you know you're walking into that or at least have to take responsibility for whatever the world judges you as. | ||
| I don't buy this. | ||
| It's a so hard thing. | ||
| I just don't buy it. | ||
| Well, I don't know. | ||
| I just fucking lost 10 pounds. | ||
| I wasn't even fat. | ||
| It's different, Joe. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| Why is it different? | ||
| You're saying even if he's overweight, you can still make good decisions. | ||
| Why is it different? | ||
| Why is it different for me than it is for him? | ||
| I'll tell you how. | ||
| I think some people, for example, have a predilection not only to put on weight because their endocrine system is just whacked, but also some people do have addictions, and addictions are very powerful. | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| He's an addict. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't want an addict as my president, though, is what I'm telling you, Callan. | ||
| Whether it's drugs, alcohol, women, food. | ||
| What I'm saying is that we live in a culture now that just puts so much emphasis on the physical. | ||
| And I think there are a lot of people who have been overweight and who have eaten too much or had a thing for sugar who still are incredibly beneficial to society and have invented things and done things that, you know, they were huge intellects. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like Michael Moore. | |
| They were huge intellects. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's a different story. | ||
| But there were huge intellects. | ||
| Yeah, well, there's a lot of smart people that are fat, for sure. | ||
| But you don't want them running the big show. | ||
| There's a difference between someone who's a really smart, fat person who's a great singer or a smart, fat person who's really good at telling jokes. | ||
| There's a big difference between that and a fucking president. | ||
| A president is not just a guy who can talk to this guy and make good decisions. | ||
| He's a fucking figurehead for the United States of America, the greatest superpower the world has ever known. | ||
| For us to say Chris Christie's the best we could do is a disgrace. | ||
| It's not a different subject. | ||
| It's not a different subject at all. | ||
| You have to cover all your bases. | ||
| It's exactly the subject. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| You're talking specifically about Chris Christie. | ||
| I'm talking about somebody with a weight problem. | ||
| Yes, that's what we talked about. | ||
| We talked about a massively obese guy. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I reacted to, I don't know if I could, I don't want to vote for somebody who looks like that. | ||
| Like him! | ||
| Yeah, him! | ||
| And for me, it wouldn't make as much difference. | ||
| Well, he's the only one in the race who's obese. | ||
| Yeah, but Brian, you're arguing semantics now, because that's the one guy who looks like that. | ||
| He's the only guy. | ||
| I mean, Trump's not skinny. | ||
| He's a fat fuck, too. | ||
| If you saw Trump without his clothes on, you'd throw up. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Trump compared to him, though, is a fucking... | ||
| Welcome to my nightmare, all those guys together. | ||
| Look, I saw... | ||
| I'm sure there's... | ||
| Rubio flexing on them fools. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| First of all, who are those other people? | ||
| It's Ted Cruz. | ||
| Chris Christie. | ||
| Marco Rubio. | ||
| Rand Paul. | ||
| Carson. | ||
| Yeah, Ben Carson. | ||
| Who's that other guy? | ||
| I think Dennis Kasich. | ||
| I think that's Dennis Kasich. | ||
| He's the governor of Ohio. | ||
| He's done a very good job. | ||
| Then you have Donald Trump. | ||
| How about Jeb Bush? | ||
| He knows he's alive. | ||
| Even people in Ohio aren't voting for that guy. | ||
| Jeb Bush has always put on weight, too. | ||
| He's always had a problem. | ||
| How is this guy still in there, that Kay Shishish guy? | ||
| He was very effective as an Ohio governor. | ||
| Is he hoping his photos come out of all those guys? | ||
| And it's so expensive. | ||
| Young boy, gay orgy. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| Me! | ||
| Finally, I'm what's left. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Last man's stand. | |
| All I'm thinking about is the MMA fan going, what the fuck, man? | ||
| Where's the fucking breakdown? | ||
| Where's the fight breakdowns, you cunt? | ||
| We didn't promise it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about the fight? | |
| We warned you. | ||
| We talked about Connor for an hour. | ||
| No, ten minutes. | ||
| Connor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was going to say, Connor. | |
| Ian, what do you think about who's going to win that fight? | ||
| Thank you, Jamie. | ||
| Jamie just put the fucking fight thing back on. | ||
| Let's go, yeah. | ||
| Connor. | ||
| Because I fucking hate this Chris Christie talk. | ||
| It makes me angry. | ||
| Yeah, I'm fucking horrible at politics. | ||
| I'm just watching you guys. | ||
| The fucking New Jersey thing, man. | ||
| That's my state where I was born. | ||
| That's your representative. | ||
| It reminds you of all the shit that he did with the bridge, the shutting down that bridge. | ||
| Dude, that political decision to do that is so... | ||
| It's criminal. | ||
| It's criminal to shut down a bridge to try to... | ||
| I don't want to talk about it. | ||
| I'll get angry. | ||
| I'll get fucking pissed off. | ||
| Jesus! | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| Let's go to some fights! | ||
| So, we have the size difference when we're to their heights. | ||
| I guess it doesn't really matter. | ||
| I think Nate is taller. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| He's three inches taller, and he has a two-inch reach advantage. | ||
| It says two, yeah. | ||
| Hmm, that's interesting. | ||
| That's going to play a big factor, because obviously Connor moves in so much, isn't used to fighting the bigger guy, but now he is. | ||
| But the thing is, if you've seen pictures of him and video of him, he's fucking huge right now. | ||
| Yeah, I like the leg reach thing. | ||
| He's got longer legs. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he uses them. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| He uses them real well and really well at distance. | ||
| It's not like me where I just want to step in and club your legs. | ||
| He's trying to negate that gap between him and you. | ||
| And he likes to throw a lot of front kicks to the body like he did with Chad Mendez. | ||
| That's going to be a pain in the ass. | ||
| That's effective against a guy like Diaz. | ||
| Let me ask you this, Uncle Creepy. | ||
| How about... | ||
| With Connor, he's always been the bully, right? | ||
| He's kind of bullied the 145 division. | ||
| And then now, here, there's no way. | ||
| He's just not bigger than Diaz. | ||
| So I think it's the first time we're really going to see him where his size isn't going to be that advantage anymore. | ||
| But he's pretty goddamn big right now. | ||
| He was training for a fight at 155, which means he ate like a pig, fought at 155 in the UK. So he's fought at 155 before and starched guys with one shot. | ||
| I absolutely believe his power carries over to 155. And this fight is essentially at 170, but these are 155ers that don't have to cut weight. | ||
| That's what's going on. | ||
| They don't have to cut weight because it was part of the agreement when Nate took the fight. | ||
| They took it at a catch weight. | ||
| Well, you know, Diaz was down to go to, I think, 165 or 160, and Conor goes, no, no, no, man, I want you to have the advantage here in the weight. | ||
| We're going to make it 170. Don't kill yourself, Conor. | ||
| He didn't want to cut weight. | ||
| Look, and you shouldn't... | ||
| I think, listen, I think this is the future, and I really, truly hope that people decide to fight at a much more reasonable weight class. | ||
| I think they decide to do this, where they fight where they actually... | ||
| Belong and stop this dehydration process, man. | ||
| It's fucking madness. | ||
| It's the worst aspect of MMA, the most dangerous aspect of MMA, the scariest now because there's no IV rehydration. | ||
| So these people are going in there with dehydrated brains and they're taking shots of the fucking dome. | ||
| I think it's stupid. | ||
| It ruins your chin. | ||
| It ruins your ability to fight at the best level. | ||
| And longevity. | ||
| Longevity. | ||
| Also, you got a huge X factor, too, is Nate Diaz. | ||
| They go, well, he's getting ready for a triathlon. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| That's not five rounds of fighting the UFC. I don't care what you're doing. | ||
| There's no way you can make up for that. | ||
| Well, I don't know, because I don't know what else he was doing other than training for the triathlon. | ||
| I don't know if he was doing anything. | ||
| I know he was definitely training for a triathlon, though, which means it's not like you caught him sitting on the couch doing bong hits and eating Cheetos. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| The guy's in really good shape. | ||
| Different shape. | ||
| It is a different shape, but there's also no wear and tear from a fight camp, and that could be a big factor in his favor. | ||
| Well, Diaz did say, he goes, you know what, to me, there's no pressure on me. | ||
| He goes, I've had camps where I've had full camps and I went in there and got my ass whooped. | ||
| Then I've had times where I was sitting on the couch for three weeks, went into the gym, beat everybody up. | ||
| He's like, so for me, it's just another day. | ||
| I think of Big factor. | ||
| A really big factor is the fact that he doesn't have to cut weight. | ||
| I think it's a big factor for Conor, too. | ||
| I mean, we might see the best Conor we've ever seen. | ||
| Because seeing him at 145 pounds, that guy was on death's door the day before the fight. | ||
| The Chad Mendes fight, he looked like utter dog shit at the weigh-ins. | ||
| And then the next day, he's full and thick and probably 20-plus pounds heavier than he was at the weigh-ins. | ||
| I'll tell you what gets scary is if Diaz does get McGregor down. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| For McGregor, it's very scary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| You're talking about a high-level jiu-jitsu guy with lots of submissions in the UFC. Diaz has got some serious fucking skills. | ||
| From top and bottom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Really, really good jiu-jitsu. | ||
| But see, George Lockhart has been working with Conor for the last fight or two. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So you know that he's not just eating a bunch of shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He's putting... | ||
| I mean, on a cellular level, he's energizing his body with really, really good, high energy fuel stuff. | ||
| So him putting on that much weight, which is just more natural for him, he's going to be fucking so strong. | ||
| So strong. | ||
| And has such good cardio. | ||
| So healthy. | ||
| So healthy. | ||
| If he gets by this, I think you have to do UFC 200 if Dos Anjos is ready. | ||
| If he gets by him, but what if Nate Diaz lights him up? | ||
| I don't see that happening. | ||
| Then we don't have to deal with this shit anymore. | ||
| Well, we do. | ||
| You want to do with this shit, though. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| The sport needs it, man. | ||
| I get nervous because I don't want the Conor show to end. | ||
| I want it to keep going. | ||
| It's magical. | ||
| It's magical because he's got the guts to talk so big and then just to go up to 70. You've got to love it. | ||
| I don't think Nate Diaz, if he beats him, I don't think he ends the Conor train. | ||
| I think he stops it momentarily. | ||
| There's a regrouping and he comes back. | ||
| Better than ever. | ||
| I just don't think losing to Nate Diaz stops everything. | ||
| I think it definitely changes it. | ||
| It's a big bump in the road, man. | ||
| It's a big bump in the road. | ||
| There's no more of that undefeated aura anymore. | ||
| Well, look at what happened to Manny Pacquiao. | ||
| He fought Juan Manuel Marquez and got knocked dead. | ||
| Look like he died. | ||
| Face planted. | ||
| Not the same. | ||
| Not the same, but he came back and is still just as huge as he's ever been before. | ||
| Ah, man, it's not the same. | ||
| Look at Floyd, though. | ||
| Floyd was huge, right? | ||
| Never lost. | ||
| Even though his fights were boring, we still tune in. | ||
| He's still the best of all time. | ||
| He had this huge undefeated aura about him. | ||
| He loses with his fighting style? | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Well, if he loses, he's boring to watch. | ||
| But he's undefeated, so that's why we tune in. | ||
| Yeah, but he also refused to fight some guys in their prime like Manny Pacquiao. | ||
| Five years ago, six years ago, he was a fighter. | ||
| But stop right there, because he had a real good argument that Manny Pacquiao was most likely on performance-enhancing drugs. | ||
| He refused to take the drug test, so there's a reason why he didn't fight. | ||
| And Manny moved up eight weight classes. | ||
| Right, I know. | ||
| And kept his knockout power. | ||
| Look, I don't know whether or not Manny did anything, but that Alex Ariza guy that was with him, that guy... | ||
| Notoriously known for it. | ||
| Yeah, notoriously known for it. | ||
| That was his strength and conditioning coach. | ||
| And the reputation is usually... | ||
| It's usually pretty accurate. | ||
| That's like me having Jose Canseco in my corner and then be like, I don't know, man! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know! | |
| Shob is 298 pounds. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| He went up eight weight classes and Jose Canseco's his fucking best friend. | ||
| I think he's good, man. | ||
| Anderson Silva's strength and conditioning coach. | ||
| Why do a lot of guys get purple like that? | ||
| What happens? | ||
| I guess it's like blood rushing to your skin or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They sweat a lot. | ||
| They get greasy. | ||
| They're always flexing and they're just... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, also, I think when you take a lot of testosterone like that, from what I understand, you have more blood. | ||
| You have more blood in your system. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah, like this dude I knew who was on heavy doses of testosterone, his doctor, he's doing some endurance thing, and his doctor told him you should give blood. | ||
| You should take some blood out of your body before he was going to do some crazy bike ride. | ||
| You should take blood out of your body. | ||
| Damn, that's insane. | ||
| Your blood gets thick, I guess, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| Yeah, it gets thick. | ||
| There's a theory that says that the reason women don't die of heart problems, they don't have the kind of cholesterol issues, is because they bleed once a month. | ||
| And this guy said, if you give blood once a year, it might be the best thing you can do for your heart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| For your body, yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because apparently it keeps your blood thinner. | ||
| And so as a result, you will... | ||
| And by the way, I'm not a doctor. | ||
| I'm paraphrasing this guy, so please don't kill me. | ||
| Everyone go out and get blood thinners. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But essentially he said, you can lower your lipid levels and all this other stuff by giving blood once a year, and it makes a huge difference. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's a school of thought. | ||
| It's also been disputed. | ||
| Just like a pint, I guess? | ||
| It's been disputed? | ||
| What's supposed to be the benefit? | ||
| How does it lower your blood lipid level? | ||
| So I guess, apparently, like you said, you get thick. | ||
| Your blood gets thick, and it kind of acts as, I suppose, like aspirin would, where your blood gets thin. | ||
| And then your body has to rejuvenate and make more blood. | ||
| That is interesting that women don't get the kind of heart attacks that men do. | ||
| I always attributed that to stress. | ||
| Well, no, it's estrogen. | ||
| I thought stress, too. | ||
| It's estrogen, and it's also, according to a couple of these doctors, that they bleed once a month. | ||
| And that hasn't affected it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's because they're evil creatures. | |
| Excuse me, sir. | ||
| They give heart attacks. | ||
| They don't get them. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| I remember when I was a kid, I'd cut myself and suck on it. | ||
| Like, I thought, like, you know, I'd cut, like, oh, shit! | ||
| Do you ever do that or do you think we didn't cut yourself on purpose? | ||
| No, I'd, like, fall down and scrape myself and suck the blood. | ||
| Yeah, I always did that. | ||
| Because I thought it'd go back in my body. | ||
| Oh, I don't give blood. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wrong. | |
| Wrong. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| Well, it kind of does. | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| It just doesn't go back in your blood. | ||
| The nutrients go in your body. | ||
| You think. | ||
| I want to go do a full screening of vitamins, hormones, everything. | ||
| I've never done that. | ||
| Have you done cryotherapy yet? | ||
| No. | ||
| Let's go do it right now. | ||
| Dude, I got into a really cold pool and almost panicked. | ||
| That's not the same. | ||
| My asshole hurt. | ||
| My asshole balls were like, hey! | ||
| That's not like an ice bath. | ||
| To me, it's easy. | ||
| The ice bath is stronger. | ||
| Stronger. | ||
| Harder to do. | ||
| For me, an ice bath is more effective. | ||
| Well, that's what Iceman Hoff, Wim Hoff, he said for your soul, your resiliency and being able to overcome the ice bath is better. | ||
| It's way longer. | ||
| Yeah, because you're pouring bags of fucking ice in that water and you get in there and you're brutalized for 20 minutes. | ||
| Some people swear by cryotherapy. | ||
| My last camp I did it four times a week and I didn't see much of a difference. | ||
| Opposed to ice baths. | ||
| So I stopped doing with ice baths. | ||
| Maybe it's like what you felt versus the actual anti-inflammation markers in your blood. | ||
| Because they've definitely shown that it reduces inflammation pretty radically. | ||
| Better than an ice bath? | ||
| I don't know about better because I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how much has been shown that ice baths do. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm more aware of what they've shown from cryotherapy. | ||
| But where it's really effective is for people with arthritis. | ||
| There's this lady that goes to the place that I go to, and this poor lady, her hands are jacked, man. | ||
| Like her whole life, her hands have been like this, just like gnarled up claws. | ||
| And she now, for the first time in a decade, can straighten her fingers out. | ||
| And she never thought about just filling up buckets of ice and putting her hands in them? | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| It seems like you should, right? | ||
| I don't know what she's done before. | ||
| I should have asked her. | ||
| Well, it's like my daughter. | ||
| I'm actually partnering her up with a cryo place in Lake Forest. | ||
| You guys are balls deep. | ||
| Opening up March 15th. | ||
| We open up March 15th. | ||
| It's called Therapy Cryo Salon. | ||
| Lake Forest. | ||
| My daughter has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. | ||
| I take her in my cryo machine. | ||
| The lady I used to go to, Monica, in Newport, our Costa Mesa. | ||
| Well, it sparked my interest, and then I realized that it fucking works. | ||
| You know, like, the science is behind it. | ||
| Talking about how deep it penetrates, I heard it penetrates deeper than an ice bath. | ||
| Oh, I heard the opposite. | ||
| But I've done ice baths my whole life. | ||
| They're fucking way different. | ||
| They hurt my toes and feet, so I'm always, like, trying to stick them out of the water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're a pain. | |
| They're a pain to do. | ||
| How long do you sit in an ice bath, typically? | ||
| Fifteen. | ||
| Fifteen minutes, yeah. | ||
| I do them both. | ||
| There's a Korean bathhouse by my gym right next to it. | ||
| Do they have ice baths at a Korean bathhouse? | ||
| Oh yeah, I bet your sweet ass. | ||
| Why does my ass have to be sweet? | ||
| What am I betting? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That was aggressive. | ||
| You've never seen a small dick until you've gone to a Korean bathhouse. | ||
| Oh, what are you trying to say? | ||
| Is that racist? | ||
| No, it's science! | ||
| Does it smell like kimchi? | ||
| No. | ||
| You see all kinds of dicks at these places. | ||
| Ramen noodles is like Japanese. | ||
| Is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do I? Either way, man, it's fucking tiny. | |
| But before you put your daughter in the cryotherapy chamber, did you ever just have her take ice bath and did it help? | ||
| We put ice on her before, but she was two and a half when she got diagnosed. | ||
| So she didn't like ice, but then we're also getting things like the hyperbaric chambers. | ||
| So, you know, with her ailment or disease, you know, if she hasn't had a flare-up in a long time, it's because we feed her the right food. | ||
| She's gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free. | ||
| Did the hyperbaric chamber help? | ||
| I haven't put her in one yet. | ||
| I haven't got one yet. | ||
| But the adjustments that you've made in the diet, they've had a pretty big impact. | ||
| Having a low inflammatory food diet is... | ||
| So she was running by 10 months. | ||
| I mean, she's ahead of the curve, really smart. | ||
| Then to see her not being able to walk. | ||
| Poor little Craig. | ||
| Having brain fog that comes with RA. I mean, I was a mess. | ||
| You know, and seeing her trying to butt scoot, and then finally we started to do all the food. | ||
| The food has changed, and now she's... | ||
| We fixed her quickly. | ||
| We got on it right away. | ||
| And she's okay now? | ||
| Yeah, she's good. | ||
| You wouldn't notice it? | ||
| Oh, you would have no idea. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I mean, there's no more... | ||
| Good for you guys. | ||
| She was limping a bit. | ||
| Sad, funny, I guess, whatever. | ||
| She got diagnosed when I tore my hip. | ||
| So we're both limping around the house and limping around Disneyland and limping around everywhere, but I think it maybe kind of made her feel better. | ||
| So what did you... | ||
| Dairy-free, gluten-free... | ||
| Processed sugar-free. | ||
| Processed sugar-free. | ||
| And how long did it take before you saw an impact? | ||
| Not long. | ||
| It took maybe a month or two. | ||
| And then after six months... | ||
| Pretty fast. | ||
| I mean, six months it was huge. | ||
| After a year, it was, I mean, gigantic now. | ||
| What else do you... | ||
| Do you give her any supplements, fish oil or anything along those lines? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, we mix in things like, you know, MCT oil or all this healthy stuff. | ||
| My family's very healthy. | ||
| My dad is the one that has kept this diet from falling apart, realistically. | ||
| I call him a food Nazi, but he's, you know, it's me and him raising my daughter together. | ||
| Actually, my mom just moved into my house. | ||
| My parents haven't been together for 15 years. | ||
| They're together now? | ||
| Now they live together, and I live there, and I'm like, oh, cool. | ||
| I live with my parents and my kid after... | ||
| Girls love that. | ||
| It's a clusterfuck, but I love them for it. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| So they're doing that to help you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And help your daughter. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| And my mom's a chef. | ||
| My dad's a very healthy guy. | ||
| So the food in my house is all geared around my daughter. | ||
| If I want to cheat on my diet, I have to leave my house. | ||
| And I have to feel bad. | ||
| And I have to just sit in my car and cry while I eat my gummy bears, you know? | ||
| That's great, man. | ||
| It's great that you could find something that quick that can make that big of an impact. | ||
| And like I said, with this diet that I'm on, it makes you really consider the impact that food has on your body. | ||
| And this is one of the reasons why I'm so harsh on that Chris Christie guys, because I don't want anybody that's a representative of the United States or of us or a leader that It shows this willingness to give in. | ||
| I want them to be exceptional. | ||
| I need a superhero. | ||
| Exactly, a superhero. | ||
| It's also having some discipline and understanding that there's some severe consequences to not having that discipline. | ||
| And when you're a massively overweight guy like that, the amount of aches and pains that guy is going through. | ||
| You're also a role model. | ||
| So when kids look up to you and they see this fat ass being the leader, they're like, well... | ||
| It's just amazing that a young girl who develops this horrible ailment can get relief so quickly just by adjusting your food. | ||
| It makes me never want to eat that shit again. | ||
| It really does. | ||
| It makes me want to cut all that stuff out of my life forever. | ||
| I think if Americans learned how to eat, we wouldn't have... | ||
| One of the biggest issues is always healthcare and stuff like that. | ||
| I wonder how many ailments would not be a factor if people ate... | ||
| Better. | ||
| Well, you know, I watched this documentary with my kids on corn syrup or on syrup and sugar. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| I think it's called That Sugar documentary. | ||
| And we went through the supermarket and you start grabbing things and looking at how much sugar is in everything. | ||
| Subsidized. | ||
| It's fucking in everything. | ||
| It's in everything. | ||
| It sucks. | ||
| And it's so deeply ingrained in everything we do, everything we eat. | ||
| Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar. | ||
| It's, you know, Fed Up, that other documentary. | ||
| They point out so many good points. | ||
| That sounded weird. | ||
| But it all makes sense. | ||
| You turn around to anything and there's fucking sugar in it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Everything is so manipulated. | ||
| When's the last time you guys had fast food? | ||
| Well, I haven't had anything anywhere near it in a month. | ||
| So I started this diet. | ||
| I was trying to figure out when I started. | ||
| I had to go back and look at the clock, or the calendar, rather. | ||
| February 1st was the first day that I started the diet. | ||
| Did you have fast food before that? | ||
| Well, yeah, I'm sure I did. | ||
| I ate at Cat's Deli when I was in New York, and I decided after I ate that, that was going to be my last blowout meals. | ||
| I had two pastrami sandwiches. | ||
| I had a Reuben and a corned beef sandwich. | ||
| Not mad at either of those. | ||
| Oh, it was delicious. | ||
| You don't miss that? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope, I'm good. | ||
| If I wanted to, I could eat it. | ||
| But I don't want to. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| The benefits are... | ||
| For a little bit of mouth pleasure... | ||
| Here's the thing, dude. | ||
| You know what I really like? | ||
| I like steak. | ||
| Me too, man. | ||
| I like a fat, fucking juicy elk steak that I cook on the grill. | ||
| I like greens. | ||
| I like healthy food. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| When I sit down and I eat a nice elk steak with some fucking kale... | ||
|
unidentified
|
You feel good, man. | |
| I feel great. | ||
| That's what I like. | ||
| That's what I crave. | ||
| I enjoy that. | ||
| That's my favorite kind of meal. | ||
| How long did it get you to take out carbs before you felt like that? | ||
| Dude, I'll tell you what, man. | ||
| I got a headache the first couple of days. | ||
| That was weird. | ||
| Where my body was like... | ||
| I hate to use the word detoxing. | ||
| Withdrawals. | ||
| Going through detoxing, man. | ||
| Detoxing, but that's what was going on. | ||
| It was sugar. | ||
| It was sugar. | ||
| The sugar, I think, was the headache thing. | ||
| Because I'd cut out sugar before and I got a headache. | ||
| I think that's what it is. | ||
| Can you drink on this at all? | ||
| Yeah, I can a little. | ||
| But I haven't been. | ||
| You ever try cutting out caffeine? | ||
| Coffee? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whew. | |
| Yeah, I tried to do that. | ||
| I had the straight sweat, son. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| I was shivering. | ||
| I love my coffee. | ||
| I love it too much. | ||
| When I write, when I write, like if I really sit down, I'm trying to finish something, I drink way too much caffeine. | ||
| And I took some time off after last time I did it. | ||
| This was a long time ago. | ||
| And last time I went on like a real binge where I was just drinking coffee all day, every day for like a month. | ||
| That'd be today. | ||
| And then I went... | ||
| Like, just one or two days off, and my head was killing me. | ||
| Just like, oh, like it was in a vice. | ||
| That was worse, well, it was probably like right up there with the sugar thing. | ||
| The sugar thing was, like for three days, two or three days, I was foggy. | ||
| Sugar would be a big hurdle for me. | ||
| Here's another big hurdle. | ||
| When you convert from your body eating mostly carbs and... | ||
| Like, using that for fuel to trying to go into ketosis and burn fat for fuel, you feel like a bitch. | ||
| Like, you're weak. | ||
| Like, when I go to the gym, I'm lifting weights, I'm trying to push, like, oh my god. | ||
| You still feel that way, or you did it initially? | ||
| No, it's gone. | ||
| It's gone. | ||
| I worked out today. | ||
| I felt great. | ||
| But the push part... | ||
| It's hard to get through things. | ||
| Transition. | ||
| You have to have discipline. | ||
| This is what you've got to do, man. | ||
| I didn't write this down because I knew I wasn't going to cheat. | ||
| This is what I'm going to do. | ||
| This is what I'm doing. | ||
| And so I did it. | ||
| But if you don't have that mindset or you're not used to doing that kind of thing, just write it down. | ||
| Write down what you're going to do today. | ||
| Today I'm not going to eat sugar. | ||
| I'm not going to eat carbs. | ||
| I'm not going to eat that. | ||
| And write that down every goddamn day. | ||
| And then check it off at the end of the day. | ||
| That way you know you did it. | ||
| If you just leave it to the ether, just put it out there and you're all wishy-washy with it, you're not going to be disciplined. | ||
| It's not an option. | ||
| I told you I had that dream when I was eating bread. | ||
| Yeah, it's like that shit. | ||
| I was dreaming. | ||
| But it was only cornbread. | ||
| I had a dream that I was eating cornbread. | ||
| I like cornbread. | ||
| I had a dream I was eating two different kinds of bread. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Farm bread and butter? | |
| Who doesn't? | ||
| Oh! | ||
| There was another one that was like cheesy rolls that you get at like Fogo de Chao. | ||
| Those warm cheesy rolls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| How about those cheddar biscuits that I'm having? | ||
| Fucking Red Lobster. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mmm. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't go to Red Lobster. | ||
| Just hanging out in Brazil, walking around and grabbing those little bags of cheese balls. | ||
| Mmm. | ||
| I've never been to Brazil. | ||
| Oh, you gotta go, man. | ||
| Oh, it's great. | ||
| I give myself ten years, I'll look like Chris Christie. | ||
| Haha, you're fine. | ||
| No, I'm kidding. | ||
| He is fat. | ||
| I didn't know he was that fat. | ||
| Well, I didn't know he was that fat. | ||
| By the way, he's way, way, way lighter than he used to be. | ||
| Yeah, because you can't get your stomach stapled unless you're, like, fucking so fat. | ||
| Well, there was one picture where he's just morbidly obese. | ||
| Yeah, that was before. | ||
| That was after his surgery. | ||
| I want that guy's my friend picture. | ||
| They're not my president. | ||
| Where he's wearing those pants. | ||
| Yeah, I have a lot of fat friends. | ||
| Me too, and they're awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Look, I have morbidly obese friends. | ||
| That's not the issue. | ||
| No, I don't have an issue with all that. | ||
| They're fun, man. | ||
| I wish I was more like them. | ||
| It's just like there's a position that is the most highly valued position in the world. | ||
| That's the President of the United States. | ||
| You've got to be an X-Man. | ||
| You gotta be a bad motherfucker. | ||
| You demand a lot from your president. | ||
| There's no one like that that's running right now. | ||
| That's very true. | ||
| No one fits that bill, and that's why it's so weird. | ||
| Because whoever fits that bill knows damn well they don't want to be president. | ||
| Exactly, they're too smart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're too smart. | |
| Well, also the fact that everything about your past gets raked over with a fine-tooth comb. | ||
| Are we way over three hours right now? | ||
| Are we? | ||
| Yeah, we're way over. | ||
| All right, kids. | ||
| Thanks, Chris Christie. | ||
| Let's wrap this motherfucker up. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at that, Brian. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Post-surgery, by the way. | ||
| I thought he was just a big husky guy. | ||
| Come on, bro. | ||
| He deflated. | ||
| That's what it was. | ||
| The upper cock fat. | ||
| That's not even a manly gut. | ||
| A manly gut is like Joey Diaz. | ||
| Joey Diaz has a manly gut. | ||
| Can he see his cock? | ||
| No. | ||
| Or is it too pushed into the... | ||
| He can see it if he has a mirror. | ||
| It's a strange... | ||
| Interesting look, right? | ||
| He looks comfortable, though. | ||
| If he has a mirror and a good lounge chair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Looks like somebody just put a bunch of warm cheese in a sack. | |
| He looks comfortable. | ||
| Warm cheese in a sack. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, the end. | ||
| I love the fuck out of you guys. | ||
| Love you, too. | ||
| Love you, man. | ||
| So much fun to do. | ||
| Love you, buddy. | ||
| March 16th, Irvine Improv. | ||
| Brian Callen and myself. | ||
| I will be there. | ||
| I will be there with my beautiful girlfriend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah? | |
| Oh, beautiful. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Tickets on us, my man. | ||
| Denver. | ||
| Ice House tonight. | ||
| I think there's like 10 tickets still left. | ||
| Greg Fitzsimmons, Jenny Johnson, Tony Hinchcliffe. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| Who the fuck else is on the show? | ||
| Someone else. | ||
| Who else? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Duncan. | |
| Duncan Trussell, that's right. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| That's it, you fucks. | ||
| And then Friday night at the Carr Theater at the MGM with Joey Diaz and Tony Hinchcliffe in Vegas. | ||
| Holla! | ||
| That's it, folks. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| See you soon. | ||
| Bye-bye. | ||
| Oh, see you tomorrow with Bert Kreischer and Brian Redband. |
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