Aug. 17, 2015 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:51:09
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Ah, freaks and freakettes. | ||
| We're back. | ||
| We're back with lots of stories because the internet is filled with pleasurable news items. | ||
| It's been a fun weekend, right? | ||
| It's been a fun weekend for you. | ||
| Brian loves a cause. | ||
| Brian is sometimes a bit aimless, and when he finds a cause, boy, does he get excited. | ||
| And his cause was this gentleman who calls himself the Fat Jewish, or Fat Jew, depending on who you ask. | ||
| And you know what's really fucked up? | ||
| I was telling people to check out his Instagram. | ||
| Because I'm like guys always get some funny stuff on there I didn't even think about where it came from because to me as a comic I guess like a self-centered thing like I think of like stealing jokes is like stealing like someone does stand-up and they do jokes I never thought of like memes as jokes, but they really are and a lot of them are From like an individual page like this is a girl that he stole from it's really funny And I went to her page and it's all her own shit and she's was her name Which one are you talking about? | ||
| I've actually gone through the last 24 hours and have checked over almost a hundred different people I've been researching. | ||
| Well, there's one of the ones that you retweeted. | ||
| One of the ones that I retweeted that you put up, it was a girl, an attractive young lady with dark brown hair. | ||
| I'll find it real quick. | ||
| But point being, these people, they, you know... | ||
| Before Brian was a stand-up comic, when I met Brian, Brian used to do really funny videos. | ||
| And there was a time where you... | ||
| What is her name? | ||
| Goddammit. | ||
| Princess of Wi-Fi. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, and it's super funny because I never even realized it. | ||
| It's a smart one where she posts a bunch of emojis... | ||
| And it says, shout out to the snail for facing the other way. | ||
| Because the one emoji animal that's not facing the same way is the snail. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so he pretty much just copied every single thing she did and put it on his thing and didn't credit her. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's time stamped, and that's another thing nowadays. | ||
| Everything's time stamped. | ||
| And so when I've been researching all these, a lot of people have already researched this guy because he's been doing this for a while. | ||
| It's just never caught fire so fast as it did this weekend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, we were talking about you, before I met you, you were kind of like a comedian on the internet. | ||
| Before the internet was that popular. | ||
| You'd make funny videos. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's how we became friends. | ||
| But people don't think of that as being a comedian. | ||
| You think of a comedian who has to go on stage. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| Because if you're this girl, or this guy right here, Davin... | ||
| That's actually not the original person I found out. | ||
| This has been reported as David Magwood being the one that originally wrote this lion tweet, which is going to start dressing like a lion so the cops know that if they kill me, white people will avenge me. | ||
| That was actually written by somebody completely different, and that person's rgay on Twitter, Roxane Gay. | ||
| So this guy stole it from her? | ||
| Stole it from her. | ||
| But he was complaining that he wasn't getting credit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I mean, this just happened. | ||
| We don't know, though. | ||
| We don't know. | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| The timestamp on Our Gay is July 29th, 2015, and Davin's is July 29th. | ||
| Oh, wait. | ||
| 9.05 p.m. | ||
| is his and 11.44 a.m. | ||
| is hers. | ||
| Oh, so he saw it that day and stole it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Allegedly. | ||
| Unless... | ||
| Unless she reads minds. | ||
| Well, unless... | ||
| Maybe she's, like, time traveling. | ||
| No, or that's what I was going to say. | ||
| Or she, like, lives in Japan and he lives in Hawaii. | ||
| Does the time stand work locally, though? | ||
| Doesn't it work locally? | ||
| Yeah, it does. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't work like that. | ||
| Yeah, I'm just kidding. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's fucked up. | ||
| That people are claiming they got stolen from and they... | ||
| How do people not know that this is gonna get out? | ||
| Well, the thing, I've heard of Fat Ju for a bit, and he's been thrown on TMZ a lot. | ||
| He's been thrown on all these shows. | ||
| He's one of those guys that I've always got, like, how is this guy here? | ||
| Like, whose mom and dad is, you know, this guy? | ||
| But then, he got signed to CAA, which is one of the biggest talent agencies here in Los Angeles, and that immediately... | ||
| All the comedians came out of the woodwork. | ||
| Like, wait a second. | ||
| I can't even pay my rent, and this guy just got signed a Comedy Central deal, a book, a music deal with Apple. | ||
| He has his own show on Apple Beats 1, which is their new radio station. | ||
| So they have a DJ who's just a plagiarist on their brand new, fresh station. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So... | ||
| There's actually been so many reports from the New York News, Washington Post, all these places have actually reported about him being a plagiarist for a while. | ||
| But it's been one of those things where everyone kind of knew, but the internet never caught on. | ||
| And so this is amazing. | ||
| There's one report, which is, you have to check out this website. | ||
| I sent it to you. | ||
| It's on Storify. | ||
| It's Top 50 Jokes the Fat Jewish Bogarted from the Internet. | ||
| I mean, it's just 50 jokes. | ||
| This is 19 hours ago, so this is new. | ||
| This is new, too. | ||
| This is all coming out while this is all going down. | ||
| Yeah, and now the first one's obviously wrong that they have on there. | ||
| And this is one thing that I've been doing the last couple days. | ||
| I've actually been taking these... | ||
| If you just put this much energy in your own life, you would be so much healthier. | ||
| Everything would be great. | ||
| You would be totally off-smoking. | ||
| You'd be going to the gym on a regular basis. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| Drinking water. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| But, you know, with the Carlos Mencia video, I did that overnight when that happened. | ||
| And it's an obsession when it's something that's unique and I feel like people need to know about. | ||
| And this, to me, is something that I can't believe has been going on for so long. | ||
| And I went to the comedy store last night, and everyone goes, oh yeah, I know about that guy. | ||
| Yeah, he sucks. | ||
| And I'm like, wait, you haven't heard what's been going on lately? | ||
| Sandy Danto... | ||
| He, who's a comedian at a Comedy Store comic, a paid regular, he actually had a bit of his, his stand-up bit, that he had taken and made it a meme, and then he called him out on it in the comments, and like a couple hours later, he deleted it. | ||
| And the same thing happened to Amir Kay, who is another comedian. | ||
| So it's, a lot of comics know about this. | ||
| He does have a bunch of interns, alright? | ||
| Or a bunch of employees. | ||
| Well, that's what he's been claiming for about the last, I think, five years. | ||
| He's been claiming that he has employees and all these people working on his website. | ||
| But, you know, that excuse might happen once or twice. | ||
| But, you know, look, this list right here is 50 of them. | ||
| And I've already found that more than that. | ||
| It could happen. | ||
| It really could happen more than that. | ||
| The thing about saying it once or twice is like... | ||
| I'm not trying to stick up for this guy, but the reality of like sitcom writers like Seinfeld stole not Seinfeld the man But the show stole one of Kevin James bits and did it on their episode and this is when Kevin James was not known Kevin was a friend of mine still is but it was back then and Kevin hadn't made it yet He hadn't it wasn't he hadn't done King of Queens. | ||
| He'd won Star Search You know and he'd been like on a couple different TV shows And he had a big deal with NBC, like a development deal, do his own sitcom. | ||
| So I was there. | ||
| I went with him. | ||
| He did this showcase for all these NBC writers. | ||
| So what these showcases are, like they do these sitcom things where they would sit down and they would bring, you know, all the showrunners from various shows that have deals with them. | ||
| And they'd say, hey, we got this guy. | ||
| His name's Kevin James. | ||
| We just signed him. | ||
| He's really funny. | ||
| We want you guys to watch him do stand-up and tell us what you think. | ||
| So they watched him do stand-up, and then they stole his bit and used it as an episode of Seinfeld. | ||
| The bit about muffin tops. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, Kevin James, it was one of his signature bits. | ||
| And this was a long-ass time ago, and it was before the show. | ||
| And it's not the first time that happened. | ||
| That happened a gang of times. | ||
| It happened a bunch of times with a bunch of different comics and a bunch of different shows. | ||
| They would have their signature bits turned into... | ||
| Like plot lines on sitcoms or gags on In Living Color was a big one. | ||
| Like a lot of guys claim that some of the writers from In Living Color would come down to the comedy store, watch guys do stand-up. | ||
| Like Handyman, someone said that Handyman was something that they had stolen from, not that Damon had stolen it, but some writer had stolen it. | ||
| I don't know if that's true or not, but there's a lot of those things that happen when they think they can get away with it, especially if they can go down to the comedy store on open mic night. | ||
| Yeah, that's what a lot of people... | ||
| There's so many random people that come to these open mic places that just sit there with their notepads just writing everything down or writing notes. | ||
| They should be smacked. | ||
| You should be smacked. | ||
| If you want to sit in the back of the comedy store... | ||
| I mean, look, they could always record it. | ||
| People do that on their phones anyway. | ||
| They're always going to record sets. | ||
| You just got to, in this day and age... | ||
| You gotta assume. | ||
| I mean, when I was first starting out, you have to have a fucking actual tape recorder. | ||
| You couldn't just sit in your pocket. | ||
| Like, you could have your phone in your jacket pocket, and no one would know, and it could be recording. | ||
| As long as the mic is up, it comes out crystal clear. | ||
| I've done it in my back pocket. | ||
| Like, I've done sets, and just recorded it and stuffed it in my back pocket to see what it would sound like. | ||
| I could hear everything. | ||
| Did anyone ever used to take the old Radio Shack box interview private investigator tape recorder, the huge microphone, and just sit it on the stool? | ||
| Oh yeah, I definitely saw people do that. | ||
| I actually used to have one that was a mini disc recorder. | ||
| Who the fuck taught me how to do that? | ||
| Somebody taught me about it. | ||
| He had a clip to his belt. | ||
| I'll try to remember who the dude is and give him credit, but he had a mini disc reporter clipped to his belt and then he had a line that ran up to like a little lapel mic and he would do all the sets like that and then store them all on mini discs. | ||
| So I had a mini disc recorder installed in the comedy store so I could just record the sets and listen to them on mini discs and then we switched over to DAT and then we switched over to CD when you could burn CDs and now I don't even know if that's still there. | ||
| Do they still have that CD set up where you can burn your copy of I don't even know anymore. | ||
| Is it even necessary at all anymore? | ||
| Nah, nah. | ||
| Phones are just as good. | ||
| I mean, unless you want to get something that's the quality that you could release as an album, because you could definitely have it set up. | ||
| If you just have the microphone, some parts of the audience mic'd, like a couple spots mic'd. | ||
| But what was my point? | ||
| Point being, how the fuck did we get here? | ||
| Oh, about how Kevin James... | ||
| So they steal... | ||
| So if he had employees, if the fat Jew had... | ||
| I feel weird calling him that. | ||
| I actually enjoy it in this particular, you know... | ||
| It's the only time you're allowed to say the fat Jew, but I feel like, man, someone's going to take this shit out of context. | ||
| It's kind of a hack though. | ||
| I'm just gonna call him the fat Jewish. | ||
| It seems like less overall statement It seems like a superhero the fat Jewish, but he could easily have employees But has it even been proven that he has any employees and where's this guy getting the money to hire employees? | ||
| The other thing I was looking at on his page was he would talk about how much money he's making off of his Instagram I saw him on Katie Couric And he was doing this interview, and I was like, that's weird. | ||
| I go, because I don't see a lot of product placement. | ||
| So I went to his Instagram to try to find product placement. | ||
| I can tell you everything. | ||
| And it's funny that you didn't say, why is Katie Couric interviewing this guy, the fat Jew? | ||
| How'd that even happen? | ||
| Well, because he has so many Instagram followers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| But I was thinking, he can't be... | ||
| He has his own wine company. | ||
| So, like, the famous picture of him pouring two bottles of his own wine on his chest, that's his own wine. | ||
| But this is independent of his Instagram, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So what he does is he mixes all these into it, and then he's also done Burger King chicken fries. | ||
| And he also reportedly has done ads where he can delete them within a certain amount of time. | ||
| So he can just post a picture of him enjoying a delicious White Castle burger, and then they delete it in like 20 minutes. | ||
| That's pretty smart. | ||
| Yeah, most of them don't leave those ads up. | ||
| They'll delete them within a week or so. | ||
| They're not sitting in their feed. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| And what's really interesting is that his wife slash girlfriend or whatever, she works at Tinder as their head of publicist. | ||
| She's like a publicist for Tinder. | ||
| She is trained to do... | ||
| When I dated a publicist, all she did was tell me all these secrets. | ||
| Like, no, you can do this and do that and do that. | ||
| Their whole life is how to make money off of social media and get noticed on social media. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| So he has, not only does he have a wine company, somebody said he has a t-shirt company, and he's got a bunch of different little companies that he just intertwines into his Instagram to make it look like he's just doing. | ||
| So he's like the Ryan Seacrest of like, just joke thievery and getting shit promoted. | ||
| He's constantly got a bunch of toes in the game. | ||
| Yeah, he has another famous picture, which is him laying in a pool, drinking out of a pool that has his own wine in it, kind of a copy of that... | ||
| Don't put up any of these pictures. | ||
| Yeah, kind of a copy of that show. | ||
| Anything to get us pulled down here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Last Man on Earth is... | ||
| That's from that movie. | ||
| So he's even stealing his ideas for pitchers to sell his wine from TV shows. | ||
| He's using Reddit. | ||
| He's going on websites. | ||
| What his formula is, and there's a couple people that actually do this. | ||
| He's not the only one. | ||
| There's another guy. | ||
| Fuck Jerry, right? | ||
| Fuck Jerry, who's another almost as bad, if not worse, guy. | ||
| And what they do is they just go to Reddit, or they just go to any of these websites, find the number one trending thing at that second, try to find the meat in it, take the meat, throw it on a picture of a black cheeseburger, and then you go. | ||
| You have it. | ||
| What? | ||
| Black cheeseburger? | ||
| Well, I mean, that's pretty much what the formula, like if you look for the funniest thing, a thread at different websites, what has the most views, most posts of that day. | ||
| And then you steal that. | ||
| Steal that idea and then mix it with something else is what he does the most, where he'll just take a photo of a fat chick or something like that's butt or whatever and put it. | ||
| Put the two together. | ||
| But what he mostly does is somebody else does that exact same thing, and then he just takes it word from word and the picture, crops the name out, doesn't give any credit, and just throws it up there. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen that. | ||
| And that's one of those things where you could say maybe somebody sent it to him and he just didn't know who made it, so he just posted it. | ||
| But not if you change all the words and put them in your own handwriting or your own font, rather, because he's done that before, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, it's interesting because what I was getting at earlier is that I never thought of, like, an internet comedian. | ||
| Whoops, just popped my thing out of here. | ||
| I never thought of an internet comedian as being the same as a comedian. | ||
| But you clearly are, like that young lady that we talked about. | ||
| What the fuck's her name again? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| Well, it's the same as there's a bigger audience. | ||
| I have to go back to it. | ||
| I'm so deep in now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So we know. | |
| What is it? | ||
| One of the ones that I retweeted from you. | ||
| Oh, Princess Wi-Fi. | ||
| Princess of Wi-Fi. | ||
| That these people are working. | ||
| They're creating these things. | ||
| And then they get a lot of... | ||
| Like our friend Slash Lean from up in Canada. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| And got famous just from writing funny shit on Twitter. | ||
| And then got a gang of... | ||
| Like organically got a gang of Twitter followers. | ||
| Just because she writes funny stuff. | ||
| And I'm sure she's been ripped off. | ||
| I guarantee you. | ||
| I think she tried doing stand-up at one point in time, but she didn't for a long time. | ||
| There's a lot of people that would read her shit and go, this could be a really funny bit. | ||
| I could take this and turn it into a bit. | ||
| So I guarantee you that's happened. | ||
| Yeah, and it's happened... | ||
| A ton of time with just normal people. | ||
| I think we've probably all done it before. | ||
| Even my mom's probably posted a photo that she didn't make of some quote that she didn't write of footsteps from Jesus or something. | ||
| But the big difference between this and us doing it is that he's directly getting paid to do this. | ||
| Creating a business and an empire based on only plagiarism. | ||
| Well, what he's doing is he's taking what a lot of us think of as innocent, which is, you know, you send me something, I retweet it. | ||
| We all do that. | ||
| But he's doing it, like, in a creepy way, too, because I use a repost app, so it shows I repost things. | ||
| Like, every time I repost something, it's with a repost app, unless someone sends it to me and I can't figure out where I came from. | ||
| And then I had one of those and I deleted it. | ||
| I deleted it recently. | ||
| What if black people have been gold this whole time? | ||
| I was like, that's not mine. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| It's a funny meme, but I'm like, I have to delete it now because we're doing this whole thing. | ||
| I never was trying to profit off of that, but I thought about it. | ||
| I was like, that's somebody else's work and I don't want to get it Twisted with me, so I deleted that. | ||
| Now that all this is going on, I was like, well, I can't be a hypocrite. | ||
| It's interesting how sensitive every single thing is getting. | ||
| There's a difference, though. | ||
| I mean, it's really all about intent. | ||
| I mean, that's what it is, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| I've been doing so much research on this guy that I didn't... | ||
| One thing I know, the episode of Workaholics where he's a peyote at Ford, the one that they talk about Joe Roganisms in it a lot. | ||
| Fat Jew has a cameo in that. | ||
| For no apparent reason at all, they look over and he's doing push-ups on the ground and that's it. | ||
| So he's been just working his way into Hollywood. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He has a video that's on YouTube. | ||
| It's called Fat Jew Nude on Shrooms in Mexico where he's just shooting guns and running around naked on mushrooms and then driving at the end. | ||
| But there's a lot of interesting videos. | ||
| There's another video. | ||
| This morning news place had him on the morning news. | ||
| And this is right before his Instagram was starting to take off a little. | ||
| And he was with his manager and some other person all being interviewed. | ||
| I wish I could find it. | ||
| I've been looking for it. | ||
| If I find it, I can send it to you. | ||
| But it's interesting because he kind of put it down like, yes, no, the secret to what I'm doing is just posting a bunch of funny stuff or butts and then getting tons of money from it. | ||
| And then he just broke it down. | ||
| So if I ever make a video of this guy, I put that aside at my house because there's so many amazing quotes from that interview. | ||
| And it's really weird. | ||
| His manager, whoever was sitting next to him, she's like, yeah! | ||
| We're going to make all this money, bro. | ||
| We're going to make all this money. | ||
| And then there's a guy, this black guy at the end go, I don't think this is what... | ||
| I think Instagram's good for health and fitness and a lot of things, not just butts and... | ||
| It's one of those morning news guys. | ||
| Those guys are always wrong. | ||
| That's why they're morning news guys. | ||
| But it was an interesting interview. | ||
| So much interesting thing I've been looking through for the last couple of days on this guy. | ||
| So, his Comedy Central pilot got cancelled today. | ||
| That was announced, that Comedy Central confirmed that... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have to. | ||
| How could they not? | ||
| After the Mencia thing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because they kept Mencia on after that show, and his ratings dropped by more than 50% instantly. | ||
| And they were like, oh, Christ. | ||
| And then, also, they knew. | ||
| They knew what the fuck he did, you know? | ||
| And then they have his show on, and they also knew, and this is a big one, that the fucking show was responsible for plagiarism. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A lot of it. | ||
| A lot of it. | ||
| And Louis Black was fucking furious, because Louis Black was on Comedy Central. | ||
| So he was on the Jon Stewart show, and while he's on the Jon Stewart show, he's, Manstelia's doing his shit. | ||
| And not only just doing it, but doing it like this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With the fingers, the way to do the bit is to do it like Lewis! | |
| I mean, he's literally doing Lewis's shit on the same network that Lewis is on, so they took a fuckload of heat for that. | ||
| Plus, there's a new regime at Comedy Central now, and they're way smarter. | ||
| And they're on the ball as far as their choices. | ||
| That's why you're seeing shows like Amy Schumer's show, like Hannibal Buress, like Ari. | ||
| You're seeing good shows. | ||
| And they're taking chances from real comedians for once. | ||
| Yeah, it's great. | ||
| They also have their online platform, which they've been really smart about developing, too. | ||
| Like, this is not happening. | ||
| They started out as an online platform, then they brought it to television after they work it out that way. | ||
| So there's very little pressure on it. | ||
| It's smart. | ||
| They're doing everything the right way. | ||
| So they're like, fuck this, dude. | ||
| You just can't do that. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| I don't know if it was him or if it was his employees. | ||
| We really don't know. | ||
| But he has to take responsibility for it, especially if it's happened and there's large institutions writing about it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, keep going. | ||
| But he has to take responsibility for that because he is the one getting the paychecks for all this, even if his interns, which are probably unpaid interns is what I'm guessing... | ||
| You have to do it. | ||
| What I thought was interesting is Brian Hennigan wrote something interesting because he has a book coming out. | ||
| And he goes, did Fat Juice sign an affidavit for Grand Central Pub Hatchet US that his new book is all his own work? | ||
| Wonder why they're helping a plagiarist. | ||
| I mean, that comes different to when it comes to authors and books and stuff like that because you're selling words. | ||
| Powerful Hennigan on the ball. | ||
| That guy's your manager. | ||
| I know. | ||
| He won't do it. | ||
| You can't only have one client, especially it's Doug Stano. | ||
| He's got holes in his stomach where his intestines poke through. | ||
| He can lay on his back and force his intestines through holes in his abdominal wall. | ||
| I love him, but he's not going to make it. | ||
| I mean, alive. | ||
| He's obviously made it as a comedian. | ||
| Brian, I call shotgun. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| This fat Jewish guy has not posted anything in many hours, which is very rare. | ||
| Like his last one is 18 hours ago. | ||
| So while this is all going down, he's sworn off of the Instagram. | ||
| The other thing is, you look at the recent posts, like one of them that he stole from that Princess of Wi-Fi, or no, that's the other one. | ||
| This is another girl who's hilarious. | ||
| This is one I was actually thinking of. | ||
| Pistol Sherman is her name. | ||
| S-C-H-U-R-M-A-M. She's fucking hilarious. | ||
| All her Instagram feed is shit that she's made, I assume. | ||
| I mean, I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure it's all her work. | ||
| And it's really fucking funny. | ||
| Like, she's just a funny comic. | ||
| Like, or, you know, funny at writing this stuff, whatever it is, you know, whatever you want to call her. | ||
| So he's got a bit that he took from her, the international hand symbol for, what the hell is this guy doing? | ||
| She's got this, like, thing, like, what? | ||
| Which is true. | ||
| So he takes that, he puts it up, and then he just writes her name on the bottom. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| See how he's got it here? | ||
| That's her. | ||
| That's her. | ||
| But if you go to his, all he does Is he took it and he puts his own bullshit in it. | ||
| And when he puts his own bullshit in it, he puts her name at the bottom. | ||
| He doesn't even say created by. | ||
| He just tags her. | ||
| And he supposedly has been adding tags to all his Instagrams last week. | ||
| It's the fat Jewish. | ||
| I know. | ||
| There's so much going on. | ||
| It's not the fat Jew. | ||
| It's the fat Jewish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| See that one down there? | ||
| The middle one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So you click on that. | ||
| It's got 209,000 likes, by the way. | ||
| The most I've ever gotten, I think maybe I got like 25,000 likes ever. | ||
| He's got over five million on Instagram. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| It's incredible. | ||
| But look what he did there. | ||
| So he takes this and look what he wrote. | ||
| You guys, this is funny because it's relatable and we all share these types of human experiences. | ||
| In parentheses, sorry, I'm on Molly. | ||
| No, you're not. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then at Pistol Sherman. | ||
| So he stole her thing. | ||
| And then he sort of just sort of tags her, but he doesn't say created by. | ||
| And then underneath there you say, posting a stolen joke from the person you credit also clearly stole it. | ||
| What? | ||
| The person you credit also clearly stole it? | ||
| Really? | ||
| See, that's the problem. | ||
| What I've been doing is I've taken the photo and cropped it out and then re-uploaded it to Google Images and tried to find the first time stamped that you... | ||
| Because it can search by photo. | ||
| Dude, you're going straight FBI on this shit. | ||
| I mean, one of these took me over an hour just to find out who really made it. | ||
| You could have been at the gym. | ||
|
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|
You could have been on a fucking stair machine. | |
| It's true. | ||
| I don't know what's wrong with me. | ||
| I need to stop. | ||
| It's funny, though. | ||
| I had a big smile on my face when I started getting a text from you. | ||
| And then when I saw that Patton was retweeting your stuff, I said, alright, I'm in now. | ||
| And I started retweeting it, too. | ||
| I'm like, fuck it. | ||
| Let's pile on. | ||
| So, he doesn't even say. | ||
| This is what bugs me. | ||
| Sorry I'm on Molly. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| And then, at Pistol Sherman. | ||
| So, I don't know whether or not this girl didn't write it or did write it, but the point is, he thinks she wrote it, and instead of crediting her, he just writes her name. | ||
| He doesn't even, like, write original by, got this from, you know, this is hilarious, I found it on her page. | ||
| He just has her name there. | ||
| That doesn't mean anything. | ||
| Like, I put people's names at the bottom of the tab, just so they'll see it or something. | ||
| I mean, I don't... | ||
| That's not enough. | ||
| It gets deeper than that, Joe. | ||
| I got deep into this one thread. | ||
|
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|
What the fuck is wrong with you? | |
| I got deep into this one thread that even had proof of him making fake Twitter accounts and just taking jokes and having that fake person tweet them and then him crediting the fake Twitter account that he owns. | ||
|
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|
Oh! | |
| Oh, God. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| You sure? | ||
| How do you know that? | ||
| Man, it's a whole message board page or Reddit page or something like that. | ||
| Reddit's been on this for a while, though, so that's what's great about that it's now finally... | ||
| I think the Internet's now catching on to this whole thing. | ||
| Well, they definitely are today. | ||
| The fact that he hasn't made a post in 18 hours, and if you look before that, he was making like five, six of them a day. | ||
| They were like rapid fire. | ||
| That was the thing that was funny about his page. | ||
| You would constantly see some pretty silly shit. | ||
| I gotta stop following him on Instagram. | ||
| I think I'm still following him right now. | ||
| Yeah, somebody told me that already. | ||
| That I'm still following him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fucking tattletales. | ||
| And what's really weird is he steals from people that if he had any common sense that you would not steal from. | ||
| Like Matt Besser. | ||
| I don't know if you know Matt Besser from back in the days. | ||
| He's old school. | ||
| I think he's one of the founders of UCB. Or if not the founder of UCB. He stole from him. | ||
| He put, how many potheads does it take in a screw and a light bulb? | ||
| None. | ||
| We're trying to keep it mellow here. | ||
| Funny little joke, Fat Juice stole it. | ||
| In the comedy world, that's insane if you steal from Matt. | ||
| Yeah, well, there's a lot of people out there that don't know who he is, and they think that they can get away with it. | ||
| That's what he's doing. | ||
| I mean, what he's doing, he got away with up until now. | ||
| When you get away with something for that long, and it's that profitable... | ||
| You know, how many people have been mad at them for that? | ||
| You're stealing money from people, really. | ||
| It's what you're doing. | ||
|
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I mean, are they making money? | |
| It's a weird situation because it's like some people are just doing it for fun. | ||
| And then you're profiting off of their fun. | ||
| But that's kind of like... | ||
| There was an artist once that was taking photos of other people's art and then drawing pretty much exact duplicates of it. | ||
| It was like a cartoon. | ||
| It's happened many times, but there was one story that was on this one cartoon that this guy was doing where he had stolen so many of this guy's images and just put his own version of it, but so similar. | ||
| And some people were trying to figure out how this guy can get away with this for so long. | ||
| But I think there's just too much to pay attention to for you to connect the dots on two different images like that. | ||
| And he probably was dumb or ridiculous or thought he can get away with it. | ||
| This is his last post right here? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's actually watermarked. | ||
| It's funny you say that, Jamie, because this is one of the ones that took me over a half hour to research. | ||
| That, you think, is the original one? | ||
| I was looking at his page, too. | ||
| It seems like the guy, his Twitter name's actually in the picture, Joe. | ||
| But he didn't credit the guy, even though his name's actually in there. | ||
| So that's one of the fake ones? | ||
| Well, that's one that I researched and found out that there was actually somebody before that person. | ||
| So that person tagged his name in it, saying it was his, when it wasn't even his. | ||
| And that could be one of the ones where he ganked it. | ||
| What is this right now? | ||
| What are you looking at? | ||
| Oh, Burt Bondi. | ||
| Supposedly. | ||
| But this guy, somebody else had it before him. | ||
| That's what it looks like. | ||
| My point I was going to bring up on this is kind of weird because this is where you get into like parody, law, and copyright. | ||
| They're taking photographers' photos and making money off of them without paying the photographer. | ||
| But because it's parody, you're actually allowed to do that to a certain extent. | ||
| So at what point are you allowed to parody a joke and that's okay? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But you can't word for word it, but you know what I mean? | ||
| See, I'm torn here. | ||
| Here's why I'm torn. | ||
| I love memes. | ||
| I think these are fucking hilarious. | ||
| Like, I enjoy them when someone sends me a funny one or when I get a funny one on Instagram and I scroll through it and I laugh at them. | ||
| I like them. | ||
| That's how I laugh too. | ||
| But I want people to keep, but I don't, you know, I don't want to necessarily like, I don't want to discredit the fact that someone made it, but I don't really give a fuck that someone made it. | ||
| But I do now. | ||
| Even his book cover, Fat Jew has a stupid book, even his book cover is a copy of the Steve Jobs book. | ||
| Well, I think that's on purpose. | ||
| I know, but it's just funny that everything he does is completely unoriginal and fake. | ||
| Well, the hairstyle. | ||
| What about his hairstyle? | ||
| That's like Kong Po from the Kickboxer movie. | ||
| Tong Po? | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| Jean-Claude Van Damme. | ||
| He fights him in the end. | ||
| He's got the crazy haircut. | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| He's got kind of a Tong Po thing going on with his hair. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, um, you're not his friend? | ||
| Is that what you're trying to say? | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I'm just amazed by it. | ||
| I'm just shocked by it. | ||
| I don't like it when I see friends of mine that he's stolen from. | ||
| And I'm just like, why am I just finding out about this guy now? | ||
| And then I remember when I heard his name around on TMZ and Twitter and all that, I just didn't want to ever click on the link because I was like, I don't care about this fat Jew guy. | ||
| I don't give a shit. | ||
| But then now I kind of want to stop it so I don't have to see more of him in the future. | ||
| Well, it didn't bother me when I saw him before. | ||
| I thought, well, this is interesting. | ||
| This guy's figuring out how to profit off of these memes. | ||
| And I was saying, I wonder if this is going to be something that happens in the future. | ||
| And then I thought, well, what he's doing is he's just going, finding pictures, and then they say funny shit and put it on the picture. | ||
| That's how he was describing it. | ||
| And he was saying it to Kenny Couric that he has a staff, and they comb the internet for funny things. | ||
| But really, they're just ganking memes, and he's doing it as a corporation. | ||
| He's doing it like as a business. | ||
| One of the ones that he did, it went farthest back as being the oldest joke I could find. | ||
| He found off of a 2001 website that still existed. | ||
| And this might not even be the first one, but it was one of those email newsletters that you would send. | ||
| Like, here's a list of funny jokes, ha ha ha. | ||
| And it's just a list of like 50 jokes. | ||
| And he just started taking from that list as one of them. | ||
| I can't say I'm shocked. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, now that you know his modus operandi, the other thing is I've heard him talk and he never seems funny. | ||
| You know, like when I'm hearing him talk, I'm like, this guy doesn't seem like a funny guy. | ||
| You know, like if you, you know, Kevin Pereira, let's use him as an example. | ||
| You know, if Kevin was on some show there, you would listen to him talk and you'd go, even if he wasn't trying to be funny, you would say, well, here's a guy that I could see that guy be funny. | ||
| I could see him have a clever point on something. | ||
| Like if someone presented him with an illogical point of view, he would be like, uh, that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| He would start making fun of it. | ||
| That's his instinct. | ||
| That is, you know, your instinct, comics instincts. | ||
| Anybody that you have on that's a funny person would say funny shit. | ||
| He never seemed funny. | ||
| He seemed like this, like, corporate guy or something. | ||
| You know, with this wacky haircut. | ||
| It's like it's all package. | ||
| Well, I mean, what people are telling me is that he was one of those, he grew up in a super rich family, and he's been kind of just thrown and given favors, and that's one of those guys. | ||
| One of those motherfuckers. | ||
| I guess, you know, the problem is I can make that argument about myself not being funny sometimes, too, if I'm doing something serious. | ||
| Like, if I do a conversation, especially if it's about MMA, but then I'm doing it about that, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, but if you listen to a lot of his interviews, because I've watched a lot, he pretty much repeats the same stuff, like, I just need to get a guacamole and a bathtub and wine. | ||
| Well, we'll see what happens, CAA. Right. | ||
| You're the fucks who signed Minstelia after all that shit went down. | ||
| They are? | ||
| Yeah, they took him from Gersh. | ||
| They ganked him from Gersh at the worst moment ever. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right when the shit was hitting the fan, they jumped in with their dick in their hand. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| But who knows? | ||
| I mean, they probably, I don't think they were aware in the entirety of the situation that you're dealing with that. | ||
| And I think they probably weren't aware about this guy either. | ||
| Because look, I wasn't aware. | ||
| I didn't even think of it. | ||
| I ignorantly was like, ah, he just takes memes, puts them up there. | ||
| I didn't even think about it as plagiarism. | ||
| But when Patton wrote it, and then I saw the actual instances, I was like, oh, okay, I see what's going on here. | ||
| Yeah, he is. | ||
| He's definitely... | ||
| And it wasn't just reposting. | ||
| See, he could have got the same success by reposting. | ||
| You know, I repost stuff. | ||
| If you post something funny and I want to repost it, I go to the Repost app, I repost it, and I do it specifically so that people will know that it came from you, and hopefully they'll click on your link and sign up and be one of your followers or whatever. | ||
| That's what you're supposed to do. | ||
| That's kind of the spirit of the internet. | ||
| You know, when someone says something funny, I always retweet stuff. | ||
| I never copy and paste someone's tweet. | ||
| You know, I just don't. | ||
| Unless you have their name in the tweet as well, you know, and then you put in the quote marks. | ||
| But other than that, but then, you know, everybody knows it comes from them. | ||
| But other than that, I use a retweet or a repost app or quote tweet. | ||
| You know, you quote it if you're using the app on the phone. | ||
| This is, you know, it's just unethical. | ||
| It's unethical and it's against the spirit of what the internet is supposed to be all about. | ||
| This free exchange of information, somebody comes in and just fucking sticks a syringe in this pipeline of information, just starts pulling it out, and then profiting. | ||
| You know, that's what they're doing. | ||
| Instead of contributing, instead of like jumping into this free exchange and then offering up a successful pipeline. | ||
| See, because this guy could have been a successful pipeline for all these people. | ||
| And I bet he would have still got nearly the same amount of tweets or nearly the same amount of likes and followers and all that jazz. | ||
| If he was just a, you know, if you just gave everybody credit and then people would like you. | ||
| They wouldn't be mad. | ||
| What's interesting is both Twitter and Instagram, I've heard, have banned him in the past. | ||
| With Instagram, he tied himself up to their headquarters until they let him back in. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, supposedly. | ||
| Was it a gag? | ||
| Yeah, probably, but it worked. | ||
| And a lot of people have been trying to tell people to... | ||
| Twitter has that new copyright thing where you can copyright tweets or whatever, but you have to be the originator of that joke in order to do it. | ||
| So there's only people... | ||
| If these people stood up and go, no, I thought that and made that and wrote that, would they have any... | ||
| You know justice to do that or whatever. | ||
| Do you remember when that guy was stealing Patrice O'Neil's material and do it as YouTube rants? | ||
| And then he was trying to say that he did it because it was an homage to Patrice. | ||
| He was trying to pretend. | ||
| He did it like all angry too. | ||
| It was like so gross and fake the way he did it. | ||
| You know, he's like channeling Patrice or something while he did it and trying to be smart. | ||
| And everybody's like, oh you fuck. | ||
| You're a thief. | ||
| You know, you're a liar to, like, the way you're doing it. | ||
| You're lying to all these people that thought you came up with these ideas. | ||
| These are not your ideas at all. | ||
| It's hard to come back from that. | ||
| You can't come back from that. | ||
| You can't. | ||
| The only way you can come back from that is to admit that you did that, talk about how you did it, and then you've got to reestablish yourself as being completely original. | ||
| Good fucking luck. | ||
| We've talked about this before with joke thieves. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| There's a bunch of guys that were joke thieves, and one of the things you could clearly see, you could see the difference between their material and other people's material. | ||
| The other people's material was funny, and then in between this funny shit, they would have their shit. | ||
| And, like, stand out like a sore thumb. | ||
| Like, there's a guy, I don't need to mention his name, everybody knows who the fuck I'm talking about, who stole a lot of shit from Bill Hicks. | ||
| And he had one good special. | ||
| And then his second special was hot dog shit. | ||
| I mean, it was terrible. | ||
| It was like a parody of his first special. | ||
| It's because there was no content in it. | ||
| Because he had burned all these bridges, stole all this content, was scared, and said, you know, I'll do it myself. | ||
| I'll make my own shit. | ||
| But he couldn't make his own shit. | ||
| His new shit was terrible. | ||
| And there's this really clear difference between the two of them. | ||
| And I maintain it's because the mindset of creativity is the exact opposite of the mindset of plagiarism. | ||
| Because plagiarism is like, I want to pretend that this is all my idea. | ||
|
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|
I want to pretend I want to take this, and I'm Get all the love for it. | |
| I'm gonna get whereas like a comic like a Hilarious person is like what what's funny? | ||
| Where's the funny? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Is it this? | ||
| Is it that like you've got you're not thinking about you like what all you are It's like you're this vessel for getting the idea in its best form You're like a boat that carries the joke to the people you got to figure out how fuck do I do this? | ||
| Like how many times have any of us been sitting around going I gotta I gotta figure out a better way to set this up, or there's a better way to do this, or you gotta figure out this, or... | ||
| If someone comes along and just yanks that and just doesn't have any of the process, they don't know how to do that. | ||
| They don't know how to do it. | ||
| Like, that process of creating is like learning a language. | ||
| And when those fucking jokhtees have to go out and re-learn the language, they're essentially like open micers. | ||
| And we've seen a couple guys that we know of that are like that, that got hot from stealing stuff. | ||
| But then if you see them now, you're like, where did the fucking creativity go? | ||
| Or they don't stop. | ||
| Like our old friend, who I found out the other day, that still steals. | ||
| I can't say I'm shocked. | ||
| I can't say I'm shocked. | ||
| From Tosh. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think he knows how to write. | ||
| I don't think he does it. | ||
| And I think he's scared to bomb. | ||
| That's one of the things that he had always said. | ||
| He's like, you know, a lot of comics talk about how they bombed. | ||
| I never bombed. | ||
| I bomb all the time. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because I write stuff. | ||
| I try shit out. | ||
| Like, when you're writing all the time, man, you're gonna fucking have some duds. | ||
| You're going to throw them out there and you've got to go, fuck! | ||
| It's not going to be all of them, but it might be one out of ten you've just got to cut off and throw into the ocean. | ||
| It's just no good. | ||
| It's never working. | ||
| But there's a lot of people that are going to see you do that bit until you decide that it sucks. | ||
| You're going to fuck around with it. | ||
| Because sometimes... | ||
| I don't know if you do this, but I know Diaz does it, a lot of guys do this, where you kind of set yourself up in a position where you really don't know where this bit's gonna go. | ||
| You know there's something funny in it, so you hope that it comes out on stage. | ||
| And so, there's ways of writing where you sit down, smoke a joint, sit in front of your computer or your notebook, I'm just fucking trying to figure out how to do it. | ||
| Like, I'll play little games with myself. | ||
| I'll say, like, Brian Redband is to Jamie like a walrus is to, you know, a peacock. | ||
| I'll try to find ways that the subject interacts with it. | ||
| Trying to find... | ||
| You're a peacock! | ||
|
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|
Pretty cock. | |
| He's beautiful. | ||
| You got a pretty cock. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I'll do little tricks. | ||
| I'll set up lists. | ||
| This is like that. | ||
| And I'll do a list of different things. | ||
| Because I want to try to find out what the best bit is. | ||
| But sometimes you just got to go on stage. | ||
| And sometimes you go on stage with this premise, and you're pretty sure there's something funny about this premise, but you don't know where it's going to lead. | ||
| And then, boom, when you're on stage... | ||
| The jokes, like the punchline will reveal itself to you. | ||
| Or the angle will reveal itself to you. | ||
| And then you record it. | ||
| It's like you take this little ember. | ||
| You take it back to the lab. | ||
| And you fucking put some tindling on it. | ||
| Kindling? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| What's Tinder? | ||
| Tinder is that app. | ||
| But it's a thing too, right? | ||
| Publicist chick. | ||
| Doesn't it have something to do with fire? | ||
| Tinder? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Tinder. | ||
| A Tinder box. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| I was right. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| You don't know shit. | ||
| I didn't say anything. | ||
| Are you talking to yourself? | ||
|
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|
It's an app. | |
| It's an app. | ||
| No, it's for fires. | ||
| We're talking about fires, you fuck. | ||
| The point being that that's a whole process you have to learn how to do. | ||
| And if you don't learn how to create, like you with your video editing, you have to learn how to do that. | ||
| You had to do some that you didn't like. | ||
| You had to do some, like, if you go back and look at your earlier videos, like, they weren't as good as your later videos. | ||
| You got better at it as time went on, especially when you started doing it You know, all the time. | ||
| You just get smoother. | ||
| It's the same with everything. | ||
| Those guys are fucked. | ||
| Because it's a wrong mindset. | ||
| So they become superstars. | ||
| But they're not good. | ||
| They're not real. | ||
| It's like being a superstar track and field athlete, but you really don't run fast at all. | ||
| Everybody thinks like god damn this guy's like the fastest guy ever, but you know you've been just You've been like teleporting down the fucking down the path and stealing people's spots and pretending that you're in first place You know and just running through the ribbon. | ||
| I won and there was like damn that dude's fast He won again, but you didn't really want you can't really run fast It's almost the exact same thing with people who are plagiarists. | ||
| They literally don't have the creativity They've never developed it It's kind of fucked. | ||
| It's got to be terrifying. | ||
| It's got to be fucking really terrifying because like Charlie Murphy one of the ballsiest things that Charlie Murphy did Was Charlie Murphy was famous first of all for being the brother of a really fucking famous comedian and Second of all for being on the greatest sketch comedy show the world has ever known and being a big part of it He was huge on the Chappelle show Charlie Murphy stories or stories that he would tell like the Prince story Dude, | ||
| he was famous for telling hilarious stories and people would look forward to it. | ||
| He would be on the stage or on the screen and just waist up telling a story and then you'd see it playing out with Dave Chappelle being Prince and all the crazy shit that would be a part of those stories. | ||
| And then Charlie started doing stand-up after that. | ||
| So after that! | ||
| And, you know, there's some legendary bad sets that he's had. | ||
| He had some bad sets, like, that were captured on video. | ||
| Where one of them, he did a college, they're booing him and heckling him. | ||
| He went back and got the check and tore it up in front of them and threw it out to him and left. | ||
| He took fucking crazy chances because he's a famous open-miker. | ||
| And you know as well as I know, that process cannot be duplicated. | ||
| The process of becoming good at doing stand-up, going from an open-miker to being an established professional, is a fucking bloody grind. | ||
| And it's filled with dead bodies. | ||
| Some people just don't make it. | ||
| They don't make it. | ||
| It's rough. | ||
| It's like any kind of boot camp, but it lasts even longer than... | ||
| It's like going to high school. | ||
| You have like four years, and then you graduate. | ||
| But some people don't graduate. | ||
| They get held back. | ||
| They get killed. | ||
| They get killed by terrorists. | ||
| And along the way, Charlie is famous. | ||
| So along this way, he's fucking famous for being hilarious. | ||
| And he's just starting out. | ||
| Just starting out. | ||
| And he's headlining. | ||
| Remember when we did that Maxim Real Men of Comedy tour? | ||
| Dude, he had only been doing comedy like two or three years. | ||
| And he's doing 45 minutes in front of theaters. | ||
| Thousands of people. | ||
| It's balls, man. | ||
| He's got balls. | ||
| But that's what it's like. | ||
| It's like being a famous open-miker. | ||
| That's what it's like for these guys that are plagiarists, and then all of a sudden they start trying to write their own material. | ||
| It's like, it's dark, man. | ||
| It's a dark place to be. | ||
| There's a guy named Freddy Carrera. | ||
| He's going to be opening up for Joey Diaz later this month in Reno, 725 and 726. He posted a video. | ||
| He sent me a video the other day. | ||
| Have you seen the heckler Spartacus kick? | ||
| What do you feel about this? | ||
| Because a lot of people actually got mad at this video, but I think it makes complete sense Did they kick that guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, if you haven't seen the video, this dude is on stage. | ||
| This guy comes over to him and touches him. | ||
| He says something to him or pushes him or touches him physically. | ||
| And he says, don't fucking touch me. | ||
| Get your fucking hands off me. | ||
| The guy leaves. | ||
| And it's a tiny ass little crowd. | ||
| There's a very small amount of people. | ||
| And some people apparently like this heckler guy. | ||
| So the heckler guy and this comic get into it again. | ||
| And the comic says, don't fucking come anywhere near. | ||
| He says, like, raid zone. | ||
| Was given a warning several times to not put his hand. | ||
| So he goes running up to the stage in full stride. | ||
| And this dude just front kicks him right in the chest. | ||
| Yeah, like 300 style. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I guess the guy is... | ||
| It's a good front kick. | ||
| Good technique, by the way. | ||
| This guy's named Raid Zone. | ||
| I guess he's a local comic. | ||
| This guy that has the aluminum foil on his head. | ||
| He's a local comic that's just one of those guys that's not working out really for him. | ||
| And he never gets off stage. | ||
| He won't get off stage. | ||
| And he heckles the whole time. | ||
| He heckles people in the audience. | ||
| So he's one of those guys that is like a social retard that wants attention. | ||
| So he goes to these comedy clubs and becomes a part of the show. | ||
| So as this guy's backing away, by the way, I'm torn because I love the fact that Vegas has a comedy scene in open mics, even though there's no one in it. | ||
| I'm like, ah, that's cool. | ||
| Vegas has got little funky little open mics because Vegas is a weird place. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you turn this up because its audio is great. | |
| Stop making fun of me, he says. | ||
| You do that all by yourself, Craig. | ||
| You do that all by yourself. | ||
| You lied to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I have the mic. | |
| So, which hands room? | ||
| So, he sits down and some woman is like, I love you, Wade. | ||
| She's trying to get some dick. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Here it comes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What did I tell you? | |
| What did I tell you? | ||
| Come on! | ||
| What did I tell you? | ||
| Call an ambulance. | ||
| Well, he should call an ambulance when a guy goes down like that. | ||
| You never know, because he could have hit his head and he could die. | ||
| I mean, I'm not exaggerating. | ||
| You know, someone would say, oh, you're being melodramatic. | ||
| No, when someone front kicks you in the chest like that, you fall back. | ||
| You easily can hit your head. | ||
| And I didn't see if he hit his head or not. | ||
| We could watch it again. | ||
| Play it back again. | ||
| His helmet fell off, so it didn't protect him. | ||
| Well, it's not real. | ||
| What's that, Jamie? | ||
| He said he hit his head. | ||
| Let me see it. | ||
| Back it up. | ||
| Back it up. | ||
| So I can see it. | ||
| Yeah, he could easily have hit his head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Come on! | |
| What did I tell you? | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| Play it one more time. | ||
| Look at his legs, though. | ||
| He's balanced as if... | ||
| That doesn't mean anything. | ||
| Guys go unconscious, their legs are like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a 60-year-old baby. | |
| I don't get my way. | ||
| I don't get my way. | ||
| Here you come. | ||
| See how he fell back like that? | ||
| It's kind of like he was doing a push-up. | ||
| No, Brian, you don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| That guy got kicked really hard in the chest. | ||
| He fell back. | ||
| He's lucky that his feet are planted there. | ||
| He's not unconscious, but he definitely could have banged his head. | ||
| So I would not say that he's faking it in any stretch of the imagination. | ||
| That is a hard kick to the chest. | ||
| And, by the way, the kid who threw the kick knows how to kick. | ||
| Go do it one more time. | ||
| Just take it to the kick. | ||
| The kid who threw the kick, just go... | ||
| There's a slow motion. | ||
| I don't want to see it. | ||
| I want to see it like this. | ||
| That's a guy who's kicked people before. | ||
| Guaranteed. | ||
| He didn't even bother taking his hand off of the mic stand. | ||
| Notice that? | ||
| That guy knows how to kick. | ||
| He's got some martial arts experience. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| Or someone taught him how to throw a nasty front kick and he knows how to do it. | ||
| Because the way he timed it and the way he hit that guy, he hit him fucking hard. | ||
| I'm torn because first of all that guy is the guy on the ground is obviously a cunt. | ||
| You know, he's annoying. | ||
| He's probably terrible. | ||
| If you're a comedian, you got to work with this guy and he gets in the way. | ||
| But you know, does it mean that he should have been kicked in the chest like that? | ||
| Man, I don't know. | ||
| But the other thing is he was fucking in full stride to get in that guy's face. | ||
| And if the guy didn't want to grapple with him, you get two options. | ||
| That guy ran right up to him. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's walking. | ||
| He got stopped by that kick. | ||
| He was going to get right to that guy. | ||
| Look, he's in mid-stride, not slowing down at all. | ||
| He could have pushed that guy. | ||
| Look, he's reaching out to him. | ||
| Look. | ||
| Fuck that guy. | ||
| That guy, I see, you know what? | ||
| I mean, I don't like the fact that he banged his head and literally he could get really badly hurt in a situation like that, but... | ||
| In the beginning of the video, also, the guy had already grabbed him. | ||
| He's like, don't grab me. | ||
| And then the beginning of the video is him like, I'm warning you, do not come up here. | ||
| Yeah, I'm for it. | ||
| I definitely think the guy's a cunt, but the reality is the club should have got rid of that dude. | ||
| You can't let somebody grab people like that. | ||
| You can't let someone run up to the stage like that. | ||
| But, you know, they probably can't afford security. | ||
| There's only five people in the audience. | ||
| We're going to hire some guy who's going to eat up your profits, just stand around there looking big. | ||
| So, it's fucked. | ||
| You know, Greg Fitzsimmons got in a scrap once at Stitches Comedy Club in Boston, where I missed the show. | ||
| Fuck, I wish I was there. | ||
| But some guy was in the audience, some guy was heckling, Greg tooled him, and then the guy ran up onto the stage and grabbed Greg, and they, like, fucking scuffled. | ||
| Like, they literally got into a fistfight, the bouncers came out, dragged the guy offstage, Greg stood up, brushed himself off, and goes, alright, anybody else want some of this? | ||
| And then went back with his act. | ||
| He was like, who's next? | ||
| It was really funny. | ||
| Yeah, the fights are interesting, except that usually at the comedy store, anywhere on Sunset, it's usually more like, oh, he's got a gun! | ||
| There's been so many of those nights there. | ||
| You've heard someone have a gun in the audience? | ||
| Well, on a certain night. | ||
| Oh, the Black Knight. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that what you're going to say? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, that has happened. | ||
| Wasn't there shots fired once when Tupac was at the comedy store? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, who would figure? | ||
| Who saw that coming? | ||
| A guy who got killed by gunfire who'd been shot twice. | ||
| Somehow or another would be involved in some sort of a shooting thing. | ||
| Someone just sent me this crazy story. | ||
| I'm going to let you read it. | ||
| Is it about them hanging out at the comedy store with Mitzi? | ||
| No. | ||
| Japanese boxer, 24, bursts into lawyer's office, cuts off the 42-year-old man's penis with a garden shears, flushes the organ down the toilet after discovering wife's affair. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He carried out the horrifying attack in Tokyo earlier this morning. | ||
| He punched the unnamed lawyer repeatedly before severing his genitals, flushed a peanut on the toilet, and waited for the police. | ||
| The skilled boxers thought to have carried out the attack after finding out the lawyer had been sleeping with his wife. | ||
| Damn, son. | ||
| You can't blame the girl. | ||
| No, you don't. | ||
| Well, he has to blame the girl, yes. | ||
| But you can't blame the girl for this guy coming in and cutting off that guy's dick. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He should have... | ||
| I never understand why they go after the guy. | ||
| You should go after the girl. | ||
| I mean, if it's your wife. | ||
| Well, Japanese. | ||
| The guy might not even know. | ||
| He's got a different culture. | ||
| You know, maybe in their culture, you gotta attack the man with garden shears. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked. | ||
| Do you remember when there was a real bad story where a lady did that to her husband, cut his dick off, and threw it in a garbage disposal? | ||
| Bob it. | ||
| And... | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| She threw it out the window. | ||
| While she was driving her car and they found it and stitched it back on. | ||
| This lady threw it in the garbage disposal and Sharon Osbourne, Ozzy's wife, was on one of those dumb chick shows and was mocking it, laughing about how it must have looked like spinning around in a circle. | ||
| You never heard that? | ||
| Dude, it's awful. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| Play it, Jamie, because it's really awful. | ||
| Because imagine if there was a show, like a man's show, and it's, this is the guy network, you know, whatever. | ||
| And on that show, a guy had cut his wife's clit off and threw it in a garbage disposal, you know, Egyptian style. | ||
| You know, they do that horrible genital mutilation they do on young ladies. | ||
| Imagine if someone was on TV mocking that. | ||
| Like, imagine what the clit looked like, just spinning around a circle. | ||
| This guy's life is ruined. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know the circumstances. | |
| I don't know why he filed for divorce. | ||
| I don't know what was going on between them. | ||
| However... | ||
| I do think it's quite fabulous. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| I think it's quite fabulous. | ||
| Imagine that thing whizzing around the disposal. | ||
| It's like hysterical. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's awful. | ||
| Fuck me, Joe. | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| It's awful that someone would say something like that, you know? | ||
| What is going on here? | ||
| Something else? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Depending on why she cut it off. | |
| I mean, it does depend on the reasons why. | ||
| Does it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Fuck her. | ||
| Poor Ozzy. | ||
| Married to that monster. | ||
| That's a terrible thing to think. | ||
| Like, why would anybody think, unless the guy had done something horrible like that to her, and she got a hold of him, you know? | ||
| Like, he cut her clit off, and she waited until he went to bed and cut his dick off. | ||
| You know, that's an eye for an eye, and they're both blind now. | ||
| But that's not what happened. | ||
| Whatever the fuck he did, you know, Jesus Christ, the fact that she could mock that. | ||
| I don't know what my original point was. | ||
| What do you think of those explosions in China? | ||
| Do you think that's just what they're saying it is? | ||
| Or do you think that's like a secret nuclear underground, you know, nuclear base that they're... | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about nuclear? | ||
| Well, you know, we recently found out that China supposedly... | ||
| Was it China that hacked the Pentagon? | ||
| And it just seems like, you know, a couple weeks later, now there's nuclear-sized explosions in their cities. | ||
| You know, the conspiracy theory. | ||
| First of all, China... | ||
| China is enormous. | ||
| So you're saying China as if it's like this fucking one block. | ||
| Like we're attacking Compton. | ||
| China's an enormous spot. | ||
| And China's a big industrial spot. | ||
| So there's constantly a bunch of shit that can go wrong and blow up. | ||
| I mean, that's just what happens when you're building things. | ||
| You're using engines and fire and gasoline and compression. | ||
| It easily could be what they said. | ||
| A chemical plant blew up. | ||
| They blow up all the time. | ||
| When they blow up, it's goddamn terrifying. | ||
| I've just never seen it that bad. | ||
| Did you see some of the new angles? | ||
| No, show some. | ||
| I sent one of them. | ||
| I think this is the same one that I was talking about where it literally goes... | ||
| There's three explosions. | ||
| The first one's like, wow, that's crazy. | ||
| They're saying like, hey, it looks like a gas station maybe blew up. | ||
| Then the second one's huge. | ||
| And it's like, all right, this is starting to look like, you know, Transformers the movie. | ||
| And then the third one's like, that's the end of the world explosion. | ||
| And this video that I think it's the right one is... | ||
| Literally, it seems like it's across the street, almost. | ||
| And it's a great angle, if you can find it. | ||
| Well, I've seen the one where the guy's inside, like, a convenience store, and the blast hits him, and the wall, like, knocks him back. | ||
| The windows knock him back. | ||
| And he looks like he got fucked up. | ||
| I don't know what happened to the dude in that picture, but the blast from it. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| Now, this is cool because the conversation in it, the people talking in it, is awesome. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| White people. | ||
| Fuck yeah, I'm videoing it. | ||
| Canadian. | ||
| That sounds like Harlan Williams. | ||
| Watch the second one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Oh my god. | ||
| That's not even the worst one. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god, this is amazing. | |
| Nobody! | ||
| Are we dangerous here? | ||
| Watch this one now. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh dear! | |
| Are you filming? | ||
| Yes, I'm filming! | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| I think we are dead. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| Look at the fire in the sky! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's go! | ||
| It went from fun times to run for your life! | ||
| Yeah, well that looks exactly like what they said it is. | ||
| Yeah, I don't think that's any terrorist shit. | ||
| That looks like a bomb blew up. | ||
| A gigantic chemical factory. | ||
| A bomb blew up? | ||
| I mean, you know, whatever, an explosion. | ||
| Not a bomb. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I mean, same thing. | ||
| A bomb is just an explosion. | ||
| Have you seen the photos of the cars on the right side? | ||
| Have you seen all those cars that are parked there? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| Sodium cyanide on site might have been 70 times the allowed amount. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| They don't have rules in China. | ||
| They just... | ||
| It's a lot of chemicals that shouldn't have been there is what I think they're saying. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| That was amazing, though. | ||
| That was beautiful, too. | ||
| It's fucked up, but beautiful at the same time. | ||
| Like, there's something cool about that. | ||
| If they can show, is this the trail of destruction, what it's done to buildings? | ||
| Find the one where the guy's inside the store and the blast hits him. | ||
| Because that one's insane. | ||
| What are you doing over there, Brian? | ||
| You're tuning out on me. | ||
| Oh, I was just finding a new video of a house from erosion falling into the ocean that I wanted to show you. | ||
| Oh, is it one of those stilt houses? | ||
| Yeah, I guess it's like in poorer countries, they don't have the right foundations in a lot of their houses, so they just fall into the ocean. | ||
| You mean like Malibu? | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Because the shit happens there. | ||
| They have all these crazy walls and stuff they build up in Malibu. | ||
| Here's the security camera footage. | ||
| This is the guy. | ||
| It's right in front of the door. | ||
| Like, watch this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| Dude, you got jacked. | ||
| I mean, who knows what happened to that dude. | ||
| But when he gets knocked back, he is fucked. | ||
| Because everything exploded. | ||
| Like, look how it goes back. | ||
| He's looking at his phone, too. | ||
| Look. | ||
| Homeboy's looking at his fucking phone. | ||
| He's standing by the window. | ||
| Watch that again. | ||
| Look. | ||
| This bitch hasn't even texted me back, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| I mean, he literally didn't even see it coming. | ||
| No, it looks like he hits his head first and goes, what the heck? | ||
| And then the whole house, or the side just falls on him. | ||
| I like your bad accent. | ||
| It's not supposed to be. | ||
| What the hell? | ||
| What the heck? | ||
| Hello, kiddo! | ||
| But there was a guy who set up an explosion in his house. | ||
| He left the gas on and set like some sort of a timer and set some sort of a device to ignite it and it blew the house up. | ||
| He was doing it for an insurance scam and he went to jail for murder because he wound up killing his neighbor. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Yeah, he... | ||
| See if you can find that story. | ||
| But the fucking damage that just got done from a line inside a person's house. | ||
| And it makes you think, it's crazy that you could just do that. | ||
| Like, if you were a nut, and you just wanted to turn your gas on and sit there. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| This leveled. | ||
| This fucking two houses on this block. | ||
| And this was all done with gas. | ||
| Make sure this is the right one because there have been like explosions that were accidental that did happen that caused some pretty significant damage to it. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Yeah, it's Indiana too. | ||
| That's where it happened. | ||
| A famous video of the house blowing up that came out a couple years ago where You know what I'm talking about, Jamie, that nice house where there's a helicopter going around a house. | ||
| Yeah, it was a fire. | ||
| There was a fire going on, right? | ||
| And then the house exploded in the middle of it. | ||
| So this guy just left the fucking gas on and then said, we're going to make some money. | ||
| But just look at these three. | ||
| The three that got caught, look at the guy on the far right. | ||
| You almost don't blame him. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Whatever that chick in the middle says, I'll do. | ||
| How hard was that guy's life? | ||
| The guy on the far right with the glasses, how hard must his life have been? | ||
| We're looking at this guy who looks like William H. Macy had sex with Somebody to the left and somebody to the right. | ||
| No, it looks like William H. Macy and Vanderlei Silva's nose post-surgery with one wonky eye. | ||
| Poor bastard. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| The eye thing. | ||
| He's just a mess. | ||
| That guy's just lived a life of misery and very little love. | ||
| Just got this feel about him. | ||
| And so they decided they were going to make some money from insurance money. | ||
| When you have a sideways eye like that, do you actually have better side vision than peripheral? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Maybe you have way better vision that way. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think it actually fucks up your straight vision because you're always getting a little bit of this side stuff in there. | ||
| It probably fucks with your straight ahead vision. | ||
| Yeah, I guess it would. | ||
| But if you can move them independently, like some sort of a chameleon, We're supposed to have eyes in front of us, right? | ||
| The idea being that's one of the main indicators that we're predators. | ||
| We have eyes in front of us because we're looking forward to killing things. | ||
| We're not looking on our sides like deer. | ||
| The reason why deer have them on the side of their head is because they're terrified. | ||
| They have to look out. | ||
| What's over there? | ||
| What's over there? | ||
| They can be going sideways like this. | ||
| Their head can be totally facing sideways and they can look right at you. | ||
| We can't do that. | ||
| Because we don't need to worry as much about getting flanked. | ||
| We're usually the pursuers and not the pursuees. | ||
| Speaking of pursuers and not the pursuees, running with the Bulls was particularly successful this season. | ||
| The Bulls scored seven kills. | ||
| That's the highest, right? | ||
| This is a big one. | ||
| It's a big year for them. | ||
| They're very excited. | ||
| They went back to the slaughterhouse and were pretty pumped before they got killed. | ||
| I think they killed them. | ||
| I don't know what happens with the bulls. | ||
| What happens with the bulls when they run with the bulls? | ||
| It's not like bullfighting, right? | ||
| I think they just fight and fight and fight and fight. | ||
| We're gonna have to talk. | ||
| We can't just only look at laptops here because otherwise I'm only talking to myself. | ||
| I'm listening. | ||
| I'm just sending new links. | ||
| Well, let's just talk about this bull thing because it's so ridiculous. | ||
| Pull that up, Jamie, because it's incredible that seven people died. | ||
| Why the fuck do they do it? | ||
| I guess it's a thrill? | ||
| Is that the idea behind it? | ||
| It's a tradition. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| So is slavery. | ||
| Should we go back to that? | ||
| That's a tradition. | ||
| The Inquisition was kind of a tradition. | ||
| Slavery still exists. | ||
| You just get paid for it now. | ||
| Ten people died. | ||
| Ten now? | ||
| Three more? | ||
| Four this weekend. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| What? | ||
| It's been a really good week. | ||
| The bulls are scorn. | ||
| Pull it up. | ||
| Put some shit up. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Four more gourd to death across Spain as surge and bull run casualties continue. | ||
| I hope the bulls are just getting smarter. | ||
| Look how fucking big they are and look how many people there are. | ||
| That's what's fucked up. | ||
| There's way too many people to get out of the way. | ||
| You just can't get out of the way. | ||
| So you got these bulls and they're real bulls with full-on horns and these real bulls are just running into these packed avenues of people and just mowing them over and killing them. | ||
| It's fucking ridiculously stupid. | ||
| It's got to be one of the dumbest ways to die. | ||
| I wrote this fucking article about this a long time ago, joking around about how dumb it was, and this guy got really mad at me. | ||
| It's like, my teacher, my professor did that, and it's all about appreciating the culture, and like, how come you can't just go to the country? | ||
| Why do you have to run from a fucking animal to appreciate the culture? | ||
| Did you see that thing Bert was doing this week, and I've seen it before, they chase cheese down a hill, and these guys run down a hill and get hurt? | ||
| Similar dumb thing. | ||
| Well, you don't have to chase the cheese. | ||
| Cheese isn't trying to kill you. | ||
| This is totally different. | ||
| I mean, this is so gross, man. | ||
| Spain's economic crisis has forced a sharp drop of the number of bullfights in the country, with about 300 fewer bullfights scheduled for this year as compared to the years before the crisis. | ||
| Yet the number of ranchers who are raising fighting bulls has stayed the same. | ||
| The only way out for these ranchers would be in the festivals in these municipalities. | ||
| So it suggests that many of the bulls that would have been destined for bullfights are instead running along the streets of the country. | ||
| That's fucking crazy. | ||
| Because those are really big bulls. | ||
| And they're really ferocious. | ||
| And they come from a long line of bulls that have been almost bred for that shit. | ||
| They're doing it in the United States now, I'm pretty sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Like, having, like, little set-up bull runs, and you can go run through these. | ||
| It says right there, it says right there, these are bulls with more power, more capacity to charge, uh, said Lorca, whoever that is, uh, of the bulls being used for small-town bull runs, he said that an encounter with one of those, one of these would likely do more harm than the bulls of previous years. | ||
| Obviously, you've got fuckin' eleven deaths this year. | ||
| What a clusterfuck. | ||
| In the US, they're using them to clean out homeless populations by putting them downtown at night. | ||
| Can you imagine if they did that, though? | ||
| They had a bull run once a week, and they just played tons of bulls, and the homeless are like, I'll get this bull! | ||
| Well, the real problem is not the fatalities, it's the homeless people that survive. | ||
| It's going to be even worse. | ||
| You've got to take care of those people for the rest of their lives. | ||
| The whole thing is fucking gross. | ||
| The whole thing is completely ridiculous. | ||
| As well as the bullfights. | ||
| Bullfights are fucking ridiculous, too. | ||
| Because, first of all, you're not really fighting that bull, right? | ||
| You're stabbing it with spears, and you're running around, and other people get to stab it, and some of the spears, they have poison in them. | ||
| Mangord to death filming Bull Run in Spain on mobile phone. | ||
| World storm! | ||
|
unidentified
|
World storm! | |
| Yeah, there's a great video of a guy getting one up the asshole. | ||
| I don't mean great, really, but I mean like, whoa. | ||
| Have you seen that one when the guy gets the horns right up the asshole? | ||
| So horrible. | ||
| It's like, Jesus Christ. | ||
| He got his sphincters torn open, his rectum was torn apart. | ||
| Rectum? | ||
| Nearly killed him. | ||
| Yeah, I think that was one of the first animated gifs I ever saw. | ||
| It was like, what? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| That horn's going in its butt. | ||
| Oh my god, it's going in its butt. | ||
| Just from it loading so slow. | ||
| It's ugly, dude. | ||
| These people, look at that. | ||
| This guy's got one in the face. | ||
| Let's go through all these. | ||
| Let's go through all these. | ||
| Please visit the image. | ||
| Let's get the first one again. | ||
| Close in on that first one. | ||
| Because it seems like it's going right through his cheek. | ||
| Is that what's happening there? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| Look, it's right through his cheek. | ||
| Look at the fucking impact. | ||
| Oh my god, it's going through his eyeball. | ||
| Look at that, Brian. | ||
| I know! | ||
| Look at it. | ||
| It's through his eyeball. | ||
| I can see it on that little one. | ||
| Now, as a confirmed member of Team People, I cannot say that I'm happy about this, but there are too many people in the 405, and I think the only way to stop that is to kill off a few retards. | ||
| You don't want to kill off the good people. | ||
| And I'm not saying this guy was retarded, but his occupation most certainly was. | ||
| You know, maybe just there's a hard way out, man. | ||
| It's hard to get out. | ||
| Get off that photo! | ||
| He's a bullfighter. | ||
| His family's bullfighters. | ||
| And they're like, don't be a pussy, mijo. | ||
| Oh, this is a different guy getting one in the face. | ||
| Way clear. | ||
| It's a different one, though. | ||
| It's a different dude, right? | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| I think it's the same photo. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Because the horns look different. | ||
| Because the other one, the horns were black. | ||
| And this one, they're white. | ||
| See, the tips are white and black. | ||
| And there's a blue thing sticking out of his neck. | ||
| Go to the first one again. | ||
| Yeah, maybe it's the same guy. | ||
| It might be the same guy. | ||
| It might just be the resolution. | ||
| Picked up the actual color of the horns better. | ||
| That's dark shit, dude. | ||
| Having horns go through your fucking eye. | ||
| And that's his eyeball blown out like that. | ||
| No shoe either. | ||
| Lost a shoe. | ||
| Poor bastard. | ||
| I got something better than that that will clean the palate of seeing all that disgusting shit. | ||
| Have you seen that little Asian girl that can hypnotize animals? | ||
| She puts like seven different animals on this table. | ||
| And at first it's like a lizard and she's like, and then the lizard just passes out. | ||
| And then she goes to a dog and the dog passes out. | ||
| And then a frog. | ||
| See, this involves two things for you. | ||
| It involves Asian girls... | ||
| No, I'm talking about like a little baby. | ||
| So it might not be real? | ||
| No, this is on a game show. | ||
| Oh, then it's definitely real, right? | ||
| Well, I mean, it's pretty interesting because at one point, she has like a certain time limit to go down all these animals. | ||
| At one point, the dog wakes up. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck happened? | ||
| Yeah, I just sent you. | ||
| It is amazing, though. | ||
| It doesn't seem like it would make sense. | ||
| Like, how can someone hypnotize a dog? | ||
| Okay, so here's the girl. | ||
| What is this sky ladder? | ||
| What is all that? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Okay, so the dog lays down. | ||
| And then the guy's pretending that he's falling asleep too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so the dog just... | ||
| Yeah, hear this? | ||
| That's a puppy that's lying down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, so the dog is just good at laying down. | ||
| Look at that cute lizard, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Lizard is awake, by the way. | ||
| She flips the lizard upside down and then just starts rubbing the belly and... | ||
| Okay, well, do you know that that's actually the way you put lizards to sleep? | ||
| That's why you do that with crocodiles and alligators? | ||
| You put them on their back and rub their belly and they pass out? | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it's kind of cool, like, seeing her do this. | ||
| I'm pretty sure that that's the case with lizards, too. | ||
| That some of them, when you lay on their back, it's the way they're designed. | ||
| I think that's what I read about sharks as well. | ||
| Like, sharks, if you flip them upside down, there's something about the way they're designed, the way they're designed by the big guy upstairs. | ||
| That when you do that to them, for whatever reason, they can't stay conscious. | ||
| It makes sense. | ||
| Isn't there something about sharks you have to push them if they get stopped, like they can't move or something? | ||
| Do you know what I'm talking about? | ||
| What do you mean they can't move? | ||
| Like if you like reinsert a shark in the water, you kind of have to give it a little scoot or it won't be able to swim. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| That kind of makes sense because they're always constantly in motion. | ||
| In some ways that makes sense, like they might not know what to do. | ||
| Some Bill Nye fact just entered my brain. | ||
| That's why I was asking. | ||
| That might be true. | ||
| So I'm not impressed with this. | ||
| The frog figured out that it was on its back. | ||
| He flipped back over. | ||
| Why is this so interesting to you? | ||
| Because she does it to a bunny rabbit. | ||
| She does it to a bird. | ||
| She does it to a dog. | ||
| She covered the bird's face. | ||
| That's what you do. | ||
| If you cover the bird's face with a blanket like that, the bird freaks out and just lays there. | ||
| Look, I was just trying to get off of the disgusting bull video. | ||
| Yeah, this is stupid as fuck. | ||
| I can't believe you made me want this. | ||
| How about the truck crashing into a highway sign? | ||
| This truck was driving down the highway, and somebody's dashboard cam catches the truck hit one of those overpass signs that say, like, up ahead, you know, I-5 and stuff like that. | ||
| It was too tall for the overpass, and it's very scary. | ||
| Oh, I've seen that. | ||
| Yeah, it's a very scary video, though. | ||
| Why is it scary? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| It's car accident scary. | ||
| Like, if you were behind that... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Here it is. | |
| Here it is. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| It didn't even tip over. | ||
| That's fucking impressive as shit. | ||
| So they had the load up and they forgot the loader was up and they were driving? | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of like a dump truck thing and it was up and they didn't know it was up. | ||
| Imagine if that guy worked for you and you're like, you fucking dope. | ||
| You can't even just look before you drive on the highway, you fucking idiot. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That's probably a big problem with running a company though, right? | ||
| You have idiots? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| If you have people driving shit around for you, like rocks, you got a bucket of rocks in the back of that thing. | ||
| Or, you know, tractor trailer full of rocks, whatever. | ||
| And you have these dummies that are working for you, dumping these rocks off, and then you go, all right, we've dumped it off, let's drive. | ||
| You think we should lower that thing? | ||
| Yeah, fine, I do it all the time. | ||
| I do it all the time. | ||
| He just takes it on the highway like that, just destroys that sign, fucks it. | ||
| You gotta pay for that sign, too. | ||
| I'm sure that company has to pay for the sign. | ||
| We used to have employees, because I used to be a manager for a long time, and you used to have to hire... | ||
| How scary is that, ladies and gentlemen, if you're one of those people out there with an actual job? | ||
| Imagine Brian being your boss. | ||
| The worst, though, is that when you hire somebody, and then you realize, oh shit, that was such a mistake, and you can't... | ||
| It's really hard just to fire somebody. | ||
| You have to go through certain... | ||
| You know, laws and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, they're like, especially government jobs. | ||
| Government jobs is real hard. | ||
| You know, when we learned that, well, I kind of always knew it, but we really learned that when it came to Nevada and referees and judges for MMA. Really hard to get a judge fired. | ||
| Really hard. | ||
| Like, they could prove to be absolutely, totally incompetent, but it's like working at the DMV. Like, once you have one of those government jobs, like, you're a government official, officiator, Someone who judges fights like that you might as well have a job working for any other government agency Like it's super difficult to fire you especially with something like like fights Because if you watch a fight and you've seen a bunch of fights you kind of know who won who doesn't want But it's subjective like you might decide that one person won | ||
| But Jamie might decide that another person won and there are fights where people will adamantly Like, argue one way or the other. | ||
| But there's some that are just undeniable. | ||
| And when you get those undeniable ones, you're like, what the fuck were you watching? | ||
| How'd this guy win? | ||
| And those undeniable ones, you gotta step in. | ||
| You gotta fire people. | ||
| And they can't. | ||
| They just can't. | ||
| You can't because it's subjective. | ||
| All this person has to do is say, hey, I officiated a hundred different fighting shows and I was never criticized for any of those. | ||
| Most of the time you don't get criticized. | ||
| It has to be completely egregious before you get criticized. | ||
| But it's fucking hard as shit to fire one of those people They just they can dig their heels and especially if they're a part of a minority group You know then they can you know get people behind them and I've Literally heard that conversation before like someone say well there'd be two different problems one Firing someone is hard and then firing someone who might be black or a woman they go is even harder and And I went, you gotta be kidding me. | ||
| If you fire a judge, it's not based on their competency. | ||
| Some of it has to be considered whether or not they're black or a woman. | ||
| And he goes, absolutely. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| He goes, you might as well be, like I said, firing someone who works for any other government agency. | ||
| You have to treat it like that. | ||
| It was like roast battle. | ||
| Okay, let's put roast battle in context, which is an awesome show that people judge. | ||
| And it's very rare that anybody disagrees on who won the roast battle. | ||
| But it can get close, right? | ||
| It can get close. | ||
| It gets weird. | ||
| It gets weird. | ||
| Sometimes people are biased, right? | ||
| Yeah, they get biased or they're just doing it because they want to see another round. | ||
| Like the scoring part's just not really even real. | ||
| Sometimes that does happen. | ||
| That definitely happens. | ||
| But when a guy gets trounced... | ||
| It's pretty obvious, right? | ||
| But in fights, guys have gotten trounced and still lost, or still won. | ||
| The guy who got his ass kicked has still won a decision. | ||
| That has happened. | ||
| Not just once. | ||
| A gang of times. | ||
| There was a lady that was doing that in Vegas, and she was responsible for like two or three really bad decisions. | ||
| One of them was Pacquiao, Timothy Bradley, and there was another... | ||
| There was another, like, big fight. | ||
| I forget what the other one was. | ||
| She had, like, an initial name, like a TJ something or another. | ||
| The girl with the bangs? | ||
| She was retired. | ||
| Blonde. | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I don't remember what she looked like. | ||
| But I remember people saying that it very well could have been that she was paid off by people. | ||
| CJ Ross. | ||
| Yeah, that was the one. | ||
| I think she's retired. | ||
| She just took so much heat because people gamble on those fights. | ||
| Especially a Pacquiao fight. | ||
| You're talking about millions of dollars being exchanged. | ||
| Millions. | ||
| I mean, how many fucking people bet on a Pacquiao fight? | ||
| That gets pretty nutty. | ||
| So, who knows who came up to that lady and told her, look, all I gotta do is, yeah, it's a fucking draw. | ||
| Is it close? | ||
| Is it close? | ||
| It's close, right? | ||
| It's close fight? | ||
| It's a draw. | ||
| So judges in a like an appointed elected if not elected appointed official. | ||
| Yeah can't be replaced It's very hard in a system be changed at all like the way very hard No, very hard to change it. | ||
| You know who's got a great judging idea is Anthony Hardonk who used to fight for the UFC now. | ||
| He's a trainer trains at Dynamics in Santa Monica trains a lot of UFC fighters, but he's had a great idea for a scoring system. | ||
| And his idea for a scoring system is totally different than the one they have now. | ||
| What they have now is it's called the 10-point must system, and it's what boxing uses. | ||
| So everybody starts out with 10 points, but if, say, you knock me down, then you get, like, you have 10, and I have 8, because you knocked me down. | ||
| If I lost the round, then it's 9. But 10-9s can kind of go either way. | ||
| Like, 10-9, like, I might think you won 10-9, But somebody else might think Brian won 10-9. | ||
| That's real subjective. | ||
| But once a guy gets knocked down, it's pretty universally 10-8. | ||
| Unless a guy was dominating the whole round and then got knocked down, then it would be 9-9. | ||
| Then it would be a draw. | ||
| But that's usually not what happens. | ||
| Usually when a guy gets knocked down, it's 10-8. | ||
| What Hardonk is saying is that that doesn't make any sense and that all of the scores... | ||
| But he's from Holland. | ||
| All of the scores for all the techniques should count. | ||
| So, like, the first round might be six. | ||
| You might have six and he might have two. | ||
| Because, like, you beat him up, you did a bunch of things to him, and all those things count as points. | ||
| And then the next round, it might be you have four and you have three. | ||
| So even though there's two rounds in the books and you won the first round and he won the second round, he only won the second round by one point. | ||
| Whereas you won the first round by a bunch of points because you're counting up all the different things that you did during that round. | ||
| So it's accumulative. | ||
| So instead of this 10-9 system where you can have two 10-9 rounds, but one 10-9 round, you totally kick Jamie's ass. | ||
| But the next 10-9 round, Jamie barely, barely squeaks by you. | ||
| Barely. | ||
| Almost like a roast battle situation where you give it to him because he came back from that first round. | ||
| And then you're even going into the third and final round. | ||
| But you're not even. | ||
| The reality is you fucked him up way more than he fucked you up. | ||
| And he's got a really good point with that. | ||
| Because the idea of having two 10-9 rounds, and one of them is just vastly different. | ||
| There's 10-9 rounds where a guy literally does nothing to the other guy, just gets his ass kicked all over the place and just survives, still loses 10-9. | ||
| And then in the other one, two guys go toe-to-toe, and it's almost indiscernible who won. | ||
| And that's also 10-9. | ||
| Stupid. | ||
| He's totally right. | ||
| And what his idea is a score shouldn't be like 49-48, 49-47, and the third judge scores it. | ||
| You know, he's like, it really should be a number like 30 points. | ||
| 12 or 37 and 6 or 45 and 13 or 45 and 40 like where there's big numbers if the fight has a lot of action like a lot of shits going on it's not just 10-9 there's head kicks and takedowns or there could be a 10-9 round where both guys like Anderson Silva vs. | ||
| Talos Laitis. | ||
| Here's a perfect example. | ||
| Anderson Silva fought Talos Laitis and neither one exchanged. | ||
| Neither one did anything. | ||
| There was many times in that fight it was boring as fuck. | ||
| Because Anderson's a counter-striker and Talos is a jiu-jitsu fighter. | ||
| So Anderson knew that he could pick them apart on the outside and not do much. | ||
| And Talos knew that if he ran at Anderson it's like running into a meat chipper. | ||
| Or a wood chipper. | ||
| So he had to figure out which way to play the fight out. | ||
| So there was very little action. | ||
| It was a really boring fight. | ||
| Well, that's still 10-9. | ||
| That's a 10-9 round. | ||
| I mean, these are 10-9 rounds. | ||
| How could that be a 10-9 round when, you know, come up with something fucking completely crazy and chaotic, that could also be a 10-9 round. | ||
| Like Shogun versus Dan Henderson. | ||
| They beat the fuck out of each other. | ||
| That could also be a 10-9 round, you know? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Fights where there's a lot of action, the score should be higher. | ||
| And I think that would also show how exciting fighters are. | ||
| You could say, like, Michael Jordan scored 50 points playing for the Chicago Bulls. | ||
| And everybody's like, holy shit, Jordan scored 50 last night? | ||
| Well, if Ronda Rousey fights Betch Cohea again, and... | ||
| Beats the fucking shit out of her for the first round, but somehow or another, Betch makes it into the second round. | ||
| And you look at the score. | ||
| Her score for the first round was 162. Cohea had one. | ||
| You know, like, if you see something like that, like, that's like, holy shit. | ||
| I actually think it makes it better. | ||
| How would you say you'd do it, though? | ||
| Would you just break the round up into quarters, and each quarter you get, like, ten points? | ||
| No. | ||
| It would have to be just like scoring in basketball. | ||
| It would have to be the techniques that land. | ||
| So, like, say, if you and Jamie are fighting, and you hit him with, like, five leg kicks in a row, you'd have to... | ||
| You'd have to figure out a way to quantify those leg kicks. | ||
| Like what is worth more? | ||
| Is a leg kick worth two points and a jab worth one point? | ||
| Is a right hand that rocks you worth five points and one that grazes off you worth one point? | ||
| You'd have to figure out It would have to be at least partially subjective because the real undeniable, measurable thing in a fight is the knockout and the submission. | ||
| The TKO even is problematic because there's fights that are stopped and you're like, ah, the guy was fucking that guy up, but I would have liked to see the guy had a chance to survive. | ||
| And then there's other referees where the guy could get fucked up way worse, and the referee lets it go on. | ||
| The guy winds up winning the fight. | ||
| Frankie Edgar vs. | ||
| Grey Maynard, 2 and 3. The first time they fought, Edgar beat him by decision. | ||
| The second time they fought, Grey Maynard almost knocked him out. | ||
| First fight, Grey Maynard won a decision. | ||
| Second fight... | ||
| Gray almost knocked him out, and then Frankie wound up making it to the end, and it was a draw. | ||
| And in the third fight, Gray almost knocked him out again in the first round, and Frankie wound up knocking him out later in the fight. | ||
| So in fights like that, like... | ||
| A worse referee would have called that fight in the first round, and Gray Maynard would have knocked him out and won the title. | ||
| So it's one of those weird things where you just gotta... | ||
| There is a certain amount of subjective decision-making that's going to be involved in fights, but I think... | ||
| If the score was based on the actual damage that was done, you'd have to figure out what it's worth though. | ||
| What's it worth to have someone's back? | ||
| What's it worth to mount someone? | ||
| But I don't think it's a bad thing to figure that out. | ||
| I think it would be worth a lot for the sport to get outside of this boxing system. | ||
| Isn't damage subjective, too, though? | ||
| Yes, totally. | ||
| Because one hit from, you know, I mean, you could hit me and Brian both the same way, and it's gonna hurt us a different way. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And how's that counted the same way? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And some guys can take a shot way better than other guys can. | ||
| In the same shot, like, you hit Mark Hunt with it, and he'll eat it and smile at you. | ||
| And the same shot, you hit another guy with it, and his legs go out, and he's done. | ||
| Yeah, it's hard to say. | ||
| But you base it on how hurt the guy was, what the impact was, how clear the impact was. | ||
| There'd be a lot of factors. | ||
| There's a lot of factors that would play in when you would deal with scoring a fight. | ||
| But it's got to be way better than what they're doing right now. | ||
| What they're doing right now is just terrible. | ||
| There's so many fights like Ramsey Nijim. | ||
| Nijim. | ||
| He hates when I say Nijim. | ||
| I always fuck it up. | ||
| Ramsey Nijim. | ||
| He got robbed in his last fight. | ||
| The gentleman who he fought, I forget his name. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| But I thought Ramsey clearly won the fight and they gave it to the other dude. | ||
| And I was like, that's bullshit. | ||
| That guy did what he was supposed to do, won the fight, and he didn't win the fight. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because the judges were incompetent. | ||
| Everybody ringside that was with me, cage side, Joe Silva, Sean Shelby, rather, we were looking at each other, shaking our head like, what the fuck? | ||
| You know, Dana was shaking his head. | ||
| A lot of people were shaking their head like, this is ridiculous. | ||
| How the fuck did this happen? | ||
| This is terrible. | ||
| This is a goddamn terrible decision. | ||
| There was another one recently where Dana was on record talking about it. | ||
| There was a big... | ||
| Oh, Michael Johnson. | ||
| Michael Johnson and Benil Dariush. | ||
| A lot of people thought Michael Johnson won that fight. | ||
| I thought it was a little closer than a lot of people were thinking. | ||
| I thought Dariush did a lot of stuff that, for whatever reason, people weren't giving him credit for, but I still thought Johnson... | ||
| It was real fucking close. | ||
| I thought Johnson probably got the nod. | ||
| I'd have to go over it again with a sound off, maybe, and... | ||
| Really trying to analyze it point by point, but a lot of people were pissed. | ||
| A lot of people who watched it live were really pissed. | ||
| It would be cool in the future if the technology would be there to be able to accurately find out how strong each punch is. | ||
| It's almost like you could wear a bracelet that can detect that almost in the future or something like that. | ||
| Right, like really detect the amount of damage you've sustained. | ||
| Like the video game. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's like one big punch is worth like three or four weak ones. | ||
| You know, like bing, bing, bing, or boom. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And it's all done by pressure and vibration of the actual hit or something. | ||
| I think also the idea of having three judges is not necessary. | ||
| I think they should have more than three judges. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| Because I think they would probably, if you got five experts, and it's not hard to find judges. | ||
| You could go on the underground. | ||
| You can go on mixedmartialarts.com and find... | ||
| 100 people that are way more competent than anybody's working today, or as competent as the best people working today. | ||
| I really stand by that. | ||
| I really think fans, like really big-time fans, they probably know more about MMA than most referees, or most judges, rather. | ||
| Because most judges, I think there's a good percentage of them that really don't even give a fuck about the sport. | ||
| It's just they're doing it. | ||
| Some of them are fans of the sport. | ||
| But some of them definitely aren't. | ||
| So I think that, having more judges would be good, and I think another thing that would be good is allowing the people at home to vote. | ||
| Allowing them to vote online. | ||
| So maybe draws would be broken up by the online score. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| It's not a bad idea. | ||
| They should totally be more interactive. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| The technology is there, and that would make more sense than... | ||
| Do you know how dope that would be? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| If they went, okay, we're gonna go to the internet, you know, it's a draw, so we're gonna go to the internet. | ||
| Or just have a score based on internet and a score based on reality. | ||
| So the internet score I won by a landslide, but... | ||
| It gets really biased that way. | ||
| Of course it does. | ||
| It's part of the fight. | ||
| All-star games get ruined in some sports because of those fans-can-vote stuff. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like baseball. | ||
| The whole American League would be one team this year. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| I take it back. | ||
| Take it back. | ||
| Plus, there's some fighters that people hate. | ||
| Everybody hates. | ||
| They like to hate him, too. | ||
| They're like, funk, that guy's too cocky. | ||
| There's a lot of people that would try to vote against Conor McGregor just because he's doing too well. | ||
| I'm hoping that guy falls on his face. | ||
| If you're up in the third round in this scenario where you can score that way, and you're up, I don't know, 35 to 15, and you kind of just stop because you're up, how do you prevent that? | ||
| Or can you not? | ||
| Or is that just a problem you deal with? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't. | |
| I mean, that's just part of the game, but the guy who's down, it's his job to go after you now and try to score and win, try to knock you out, try to stop the fight. | ||
| Sometimes we're a guy, we all know this, where a guy's going into the third round and he got his ass kicked the first two rounds and his corner says, you've got to stop him. | ||
| You've got to finish this fight. | ||
| He knows it. | ||
| He knows it and the other guy knows it too. | ||
| If someone has clearly won two rounds in a row, all you have to do is fucking dance around in that third round. | ||
| And guys have done that before, and it wound up fucking them over. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think the system sucks. | ||
| The system is terrible, but Hardonk's idea is the best I've ever heard. | ||
| Doc Hamilton, who's a very good judge and a long-time martial arts practitioner, he had a good system, and his system was a half-point system. | ||
| His system was instead of 10 points, you could use half-points too. | ||
| So like in cases where it's like real close, you could say, well, that guy won, but he only won by half a point. | ||
| Or he won by a point, where it's really clear. | ||
| Or he won by two points, if he's really got his ass kicked. | ||
| Like, utilize the point system and make it a bit more obvious that there's a gap. | ||
| And that'll, accumulative, that'll add up towards the end of a third round. | ||
| You would be able to add that. | ||
| Like, well, the first round, he won by half a point. | ||
| But the second round, he won by two points. | ||
| And then it would all, like, it would show up better. | ||
| I just think the ten-point system, as they use it right now... | ||
| Really is lame. | ||
| And it comes from boxing. | ||
| It's not a good system for MMA. It's a good system for boxing. | ||
| Right, because boxing is pretty much boxing. | ||
| MMA has so many different kinds of scoring. | ||
| You could be on the ground and being choked out the whole entire round, and that has to mean something. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Yeah, and it's also, like, who decides? | ||
| Like, say if you beat a guy upstanding, you beat him up for, like, the first minute, hit him with a ton of punches, but then he takes you down and gets on top of you for four minutes, but doesn't do anything. | ||
| Hits you with, like, a few pity-pat punches, but most of the time you defend yourself. | ||
| A lot of times people will think that that guy who was on the bottom Getting hit with the pitty-pat punches by the guy who's on top of him lost the round, even though he beat the shit out of that guy for the first minute. | ||
| Like, he did way more damage. | ||
| That first minute, that guy's cut, he's beat up, his eye swelling, he got hit with bombs, but he survived enough to get the takedown, and then because he was on top for more time, people would give him that round. | ||
| So it's goofy as fuck, man. | ||
| It's really hard to figure out how to do a better job of scoring it. | ||
| But I think that Hardock has the best idea I've ever heard. | ||
| And I'm going to have him on the podcast someday, someday soon, because he's out here. | ||
| He's out near Woodland Hills. | ||
| So I'm going to have him on soon and have him talk about it and talk about training and stuff like that too. | ||
| But I think his system is way better. | ||
| Here's something I wanted to bring up because it's pretty fucking crazy. | ||
| There was a new study that was out in Reset Me, Amber Lyon's company. | ||
| She, by the way, has become a complete drug addict. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| She's a total drudgy now. | ||
|
unidentified
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Just kidding. | |
| That's hilarious. | ||
| I'm kidding. | ||
| I mean that in the nicest way. | ||
| Amber, call me. | ||
| She's a... | ||
| Call him. | ||
| He's got the shit. | ||
| She's become like a complete psychedelic head. | ||
| That's all she does. | ||
| She's just traveled around the world doing psychedelics. | ||
| But she wrote this... | ||
| She's got this new website. | ||
| It's called Reset.me. | ||
| Obviously to sort of signify the the profound effects of psychedelics and that's the the name of the The website and what many people think that psychedelics do and so this guy professor David nut had this that's his name, too Not as funny as hard on but it's pretty close and Both thick guys? | ||
| So we had a three-day conference. | ||
| It's called Breaking Convention that's held in London. | ||
| And basically what they're saying, it's to explore the benefits of psychedelics, but they're saying that psilocybin switches off part of the brain that causes depression, which is insane. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Like, go to that story. | ||
| Yeah, it was just, I don't know how to... | ||
| So, you know, there's all these problems that they have with trying to legalize different things that are beneficial, like legalizing for soldiers, people with PTSD. But they found a lot of different drugs that can help people that have been through traumatic situations. | ||
| Psilocybin is one of them. | ||
| MDMA is a big one. | ||
| MDMA apparently has profound effects for people who have seen horrific things and Profound in the fact that it lets them change their perspective on it and literally change their memory changed what it means to them to have had this experience and allows forgiveness in a way that's like really unprecedented so This guy, Professor Nutt, it's a really interesting article. | ||
| There's a lot of different talk about psychedelics in it, but about the potential for drugs like psilocybin, LSD, and cannabis too. | ||
| And that he's talking about how, because these drugs are illegal, patients are suffering, committing suicide, because they're not getting treated for their depressions as pain. | ||
| Or their pain, rather. | ||
| It's interesting, because... | ||
| I think more and more as time's going on, you're seeing these things become mainstream. | ||
| These subjects become mainstream. | ||
| The John Hopkins psilocybin study, there's been quite a few different studies that have come out that have shown the benefits of a lot of different drugs to dealing with things that are conventionally, you know, what do they give you for depression? | ||
| They give you SSRIs or they give you something else, but this is a completely different effect. | ||
| And that's actually what Ari said. | ||
| Ari has said that psilocybin was what really helped his depression, helped it in a big way. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| When I was in Toronto, I allegedly maybe ate some shrooms both nights I was there. | ||
| Is it illegal to say you ate shrooms? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Nowadays, they check your Twitter when you're going through the airport. | ||
| What? | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Yeah, every time I go travel now, me and Tony both get put into a room, and then they check your Twitter to see, like, where are you working tonight, huh? | ||
| Oh, okay, here we go, Tony. | ||
| Tony actually got caught, allegedly. | ||
| Doing what? | ||
| Because I think they recently passed this law where you don't have to do this anymore, but when you work in Canada as a comedian, you have to get a work permit, and that causes the... | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| But if it's like a really small little show, it's like a lot of places like, ah, just, you know, you're on vacation or whatever, and I think... | ||
| Who said that? | ||
| The people that are booking the show? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're idiots. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| You can't do that. | ||
| We found this out. | ||
| This is like early on. | ||
| Eddie Bravo did that, too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And so, but Tony said that they just went on his Twitter page and just was like, where are you at? | ||
| And they grounded him and made him fly back. | ||
| You should have told him he doesn't have a Twitter. | ||
| Was he retarded? | ||
| No, they just Googled his name. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So that's one thing that's cool about having a fake last name. | ||
| But yeah, what were we talking about right before that? | ||
| Um, mushrooms? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| So when I ate mushrooms, this was the first time where I actually never, I didn't eat to try to trip hard. | ||
| I was just like, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to take a little bit while I'm at this bar. | ||
| And so it was just enough that I immediately felt insane amount, like amounts of happiness. | ||
| And I wasn't like seeing anything or, or like, it wasn't like, like a trippy experience. | ||
| Uh, but, uh, I know a lot of people that do that thing where you eat a little bit of mushrooms every day. | ||
| Have you heard about that? | ||
| But yeah, and I wonder if that has there's something to that, because that could be almost like a imagine being prescribed like a happy pill every day. | ||
| And it was just ground up mushrooms, but it was just a smaller amount where you're not seeing anything, but you still feel happy because that's how I felt. | ||
| And it caused me to eat more when I was like, oh, this is great mushrooms. | ||
| So but then I got out of that just happiness and I start tripping and seeing things. | ||
| But the small amount that I originally ate made me feel really happy. | ||
| I was bouncing off the walls. | ||
| That's a common thing that people do. | ||
| They microdose and they take it all day. | ||
| Yeah, it's real common. | ||
| People do that and it definitely has an interesting effect. | ||
| I've taken small doses before and it makes you just feel relaxed. | ||
| It also makes the things that you thought were super important seem so silly. | ||
| Like, things that were bothering you, you're like, who cares? | ||
| Like, whatever. | ||
| Like, you feel, like, if someone was mad at you, and like, God, why is that person mad at me? | ||
| You take a little microdose of mushrooms, and you're like, I almost feel bad for them being mad at me. | ||
| You know, like, people talking shit about you, whereas, like, it would hurt your feelings. | ||
| You take a little mushrooms, you're like, feel bad for them. | ||
| Like, this person is lashing out in this ridiculous way. | ||
| Mushrooms are beautiful, man. | ||
| They're so important. | ||
| It's so gross that they're illegal. | ||
| It's so bizarre that after all these different years, all these different studies, there's never been one that's shown that it kills people. | ||
| Never been one that's shown that it causes you to lose your brain or even get diarrhea. | ||
| I mean, there's just nothing. | ||
| There's no reason why it should be illegal. | ||
| There's no glaring health issue. | ||
| And yet, still, you could go to jail as much as you would go to jail if you had probably more so than heroin, right? | ||
| Isn't heroin a Schedule 2? | ||
| We've gone over this before. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like marijuana and mushrooms. | ||
| The Schedule 1s, like a lot of the Schedule 1s are like super beneficial and they're the most illegal. | ||
| If you look at the Schedule 1 versus Schedule 2 chart, I think Schedule 2 is cocaine because they have medical cocaine. | ||
| It's like the idea of Schedule 1 is no known medical use. | ||
| To have marijuana and psilocybin, two of the most beneficial plants of all time, in the no known medical use category, just shows how corrupt these criminals are. | ||
| Because that's just a lie. | ||
| Anybody could go to them with a series of links. | ||
| I can email them. | ||
| Tell me who it is that's the head of the drug czar guy. | ||
| I'll email you just a gang of links. | ||
| You click on those links, and then tell me if you think it's still Schedule 1 after it's over. | ||
| And if you do think that, you're a crook. | ||
| I think the only difference between a cocaine or a psychedelic is that it will speed up schizophrenia and crazy people, and then we'll just have way too much crazy people in this world if mushrooms were illegal. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| Or maybe they're gonna be crazy anyway. | ||
| I mean, there is an argument for that. | ||
| There's a certain amount of people. | ||
| That was in the culture high, where they talked about it accelerating psychosis and paranoia and all the different issues. | ||
| And they were saying there's no jump. | ||
| Even though more people are smoking pot than ever, There's no statistical jump in the amount of people that are psychotic. | ||
| For weed. | ||
|
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For weed. | |
| But mushrooms, I think, will definitely break you. | ||
| If you have mild schizophrenia and you're going to get it later in life, you'll probably speed it up by twice. | ||
| You're not a scientist. | ||
| I'm Dr. Brian. | ||
| I don't know if you should be throwing that around. | ||
| But I do think that pot, if you eat it, is just as likely to do you in. | ||
| Maybe even more so. | ||
| Because pot, if you eat it, is not reassuring. | ||
| There's no sweetness to the overdose when you're eating pot. | ||
| It's just fear. | ||
| Fear and death and spiral. | ||
| I don't know what you trip out about when you take mushrooms. | ||
| Heart. | ||
| Not mushrooms. | ||
| Edible pot. | ||
| But for me, it's always like mortality. | ||
| The mortality and the death of friends and people getting sick around you and the body ceasing to work properly. | ||
| Especially people that I know like you that smoke cigarettes and shit like that. | ||
| I freak out about you when I eat pot. | ||
| I do. | ||
| Because I feel like there's people around me that are poisoning themselves and they don't see it. | ||
| I'm like, oh Jesus, what is he doing? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| The eating pot is, for me, one of the big paranoia inducers of all the different psychedelics and drugs. | ||
| Stop doing it. | ||
| Do you still eat pot? | ||
| I don't eat pot anymore. | ||
| Don't be a pussy. | ||
| Get back in there. | ||
| The head of the DEA, I'll try to highlight this statement so you can read it. | ||
| This was like two weeks ago he said this in a report with Conference Call. | ||
| If you want me to say that marijuana is not dangerous, I'm not going to say that because I think it is. | ||
| Do I think it's as dangerous as heroin? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| I'm not an expert. | ||
| Who's the fucking expert? | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| That's the head of the DEA and he's not an expert. | ||
| And he's saying stupid shit that marijuana is dangerous. | ||
| I think it is. | ||
| You think it's dangerous, Chuck Rosenberg, you fucking dunce? | ||
| That's so goofy. | ||
| You know it's not dangerous. | ||
| You know what's dangerous? | ||
| Idiots. | ||
| Idiots are dangerous if you give them wiffle ball bats. | ||
| If you give them spoons and electrical sockets. | ||
| You know, give them a fork and a toaster. | ||
| They're dangerous. | ||
| People are dumb, man. | ||
| Heroin is clearly more dangerous than marijuana. | ||
| Okay, he said that. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Then, this week, Rosenberg evolved further. | ||
| After a press briefing on Wednesday where people shit in his mouth, he told reporters that heroin is clearly more dangerous than marijuana. | ||
| According to Huffington Post, Rosenberg said he still considers marijuana to be harmful and dangerous, but was willing to make a firm distinction between it and other substances. | ||
| Well, he's a fool. | ||
| You can't say harmful and dangerous unless you have data. | ||
| You are a DEA agent. | ||
| You're the head guy. | ||
| You should have data. | ||
| You know, that's the whole idea. | ||
| Like, can you say that aspirin is dangerous? | ||
| Yes, you can. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because aspirin, regular old aspirin, kills a fuckload of people every year. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| Thousands. | ||
| They die from it. | ||
| You overdose from aspirin. | ||
| You take too much aspirin. | ||
| Okay, let's guess. | ||
| Let's guess. | ||
| How many do you think die every year from aspirin? | ||
| Now that you know that people die from aspirin. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'd probably say 70,000 people. | ||
| 30,000 people a year. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I was going to say a few hundred. | ||
| Well, no, I'm just thinking that a lot of people have aspirin, and that's probably something that people try to overdose to kill themselves on. | ||
| I know aspirin also saves people's lives, because that's what you're supposed to take if you're feeling like you're going to have a heart attack. | ||
| And also, they say, is a preventative measure. | ||
| Taking a little bit of aspirin. | ||
| Because aspirin is an anti-inflammatory. | ||
| The big issue with health, or one of the big issues, I should say, is inflammation. | ||
| It's a big causer of a lot of different diseases. | ||
| And that's why they say that if you clean up your diet, your body becomes less inflamed. | ||
| That's one of the benefits of the cryogenic chamber, too. | ||
| They think that the cryo treatments provide those cold shock proteins and anti-inflammation responses, and they clean up inflammation inside the body, leading to less disease. | ||
| That's one of the theories behind it. | ||
| How long do you do that at a time? | ||
| Three minutes. | ||
| Is it like torture three minutes, or it's just like, okay, all right, this is almost too long. | ||
| It's cold as fuck, dude. | ||
| FDA reverses its position on daily aspirin use. | ||
| Look at this, man. | ||
| They used to tell you you need to take aspirin. | ||
| If you haven't had a heart attack, step away from the aspirin bottle. | ||
| If you're one of the 40 million Americans who take aspirin every day, wow, 40 million. | ||
| The FDA says, let's see how many people. | ||
| If you had to guess, Jamie, how many people do you think died? | ||
| 750. Hmm, okay. | ||
| I said, what, 40,000? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Each year. | ||
| All right, here we go. | ||
| I'm saying 200. Let's say animal causes. | ||
|
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Oh! | |
| 15,000? | ||
| 15,000. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Each year 15,000 people die and 100,000 people are hospitalized as a result of aspirin. | ||
| And other NSAIDs, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| That's insane. | ||
| Is aspirin where you're not supposed to give kids when they have a fever? | ||
| Or is that Tylenol? | ||
| Dude, listen to this. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But listen to this crazy statistic. | ||
| Aspirin kills 400% more people than the swine flu. | ||
| Nearly 100,000 Americans die every year from adverse reactions to FDA-approved prescription drugs. | ||
| What? | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| Goddamn. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| These numbers are nuts. | ||
| That's incredible, man. | ||
| 107,000 patients are hospitalized annually for non-steroidal anti-inflammatories, which also includes, by the way, ibuprofen. | ||
| Ibuprofen is also a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory. | ||
| That's the period one, right? | ||
| No, no, it's ibuprofen, Advil. | ||
| Headache stuff. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| Advil's the best. | ||
| It's the best for headaches and anything like muscle aches, torn muscles or anything. | ||
| Why do you like Advil? | ||
| Because it's ibuprofen. | ||
| I was always a Tylenol guy. | ||
| It's ibuprofen. | ||
| Tylenol sort of like, I think, if I had to guess, I think dulls the pain more, whereas ibuprofen gets the source of the pain more, which is inflammation. | ||
| But most athletes prefer ibuprofen. | ||
| I think it has like less risk factors too. | ||
| But apparently a lot of people get fucked up by anti-inflammatories. | ||
| I just can't believe it's that high. | ||
| The numbers are nuts, man. | ||
| Swine flu is safer than aspirin. | ||
| 16,500 non-steroidal anti-inflammatory deaths occur among patients with rheumatoid arthritis or osteoarthritis each year in the United States. | ||
|
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Whoa! | |
| That's a nutty number, man. | ||
| 16,500 deaths from anti-inflammatory pills, from ibuprofen and aspirin. | ||
| Wow, so those drugs are 1,000% more deadly than swine flu. | ||
| This accidental death, does it say that? | ||
| Like, does anyone use it to commit suicide? | ||
| People definitely use it to commit suicide, but it's hard. | ||
| That's all bad suicide, apparently. | ||
| That's a rough one. | ||
| It takes a long time to end, too. | ||
| My headache's gone. | ||
| I feel great. | ||
|
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I feel too good. | |
| What do you think is the number one method of suicide? | ||
| Overdose, right? | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| Or cutting. | ||
| Cutting? | ||
| Like cutting your neck? | ||
| I mean, I know girls that cut and they're not even trying to kill themselves. | ||
| So I would imagine cutting. | ||
| Just cut after they fuck you. | ||
| They're like, what am I doing? | ||
| Let me cut something off. | ||
| Have you known a lot of cutters? | ||
| It's weird how many cutters are out in Los Angeles. | ||
| There's not that many cutters. | ||
| It's all the girls you're dating. | ||
| It's the pool you're drawing from. | ||
| Most guys are like, what the fuck is he talking about? | ||
| People are listening to this right now going, dude, most people don't cut themselves. | ||
| Most people don't cut themselves, Brian. | ||
| Have you seen that new 3D projector display? | ||
| It's one of the most... | ||
| No, change the subject. | ||
| Talking about people dying. | ||
| Before we get into that, I just really wanted to... | ||
| What do you think the number one method for suicide is? | ||
| If you had a guess. | ||
| Cutting. | ||
| Cutting. | ||
| Like cutting wrists? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Cutting throat? | ||
| Jumping off something, probably. | ||
| Jumping off something. | ||
| I'm gonna say overdose. | ||
| I say overdose, but gunshots gotta be in there somewhere, right? | ||
| Alright, let's Google number one method of suicide. | ||
| Number one. | ||
| Death by chocolate. | ||
| No, it's funny when you write number one method in Google, homicide comes up first. | ||
|
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Homicide. | |
| That's what the Google suggestion, to fill in the blank. | ||
| Number one method of homicide. | ||
| How many people just Google that? | ||
| Because they fucking hate their wife, and they hate their husband. | ||
| And they're like, fucking piece of shit, what's the best method? | ||
| Or that's your own personal cash, Joe. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| Yeah, because I have different things. | ||
| When I type in stuff, different things come up than you. | ||
| Your stuff. | ||
| Please. | ||
| In Google, if you've never Googled that before, I've never Googled that before. | ||
| Wait, what did you type in? | ||
| Number one method of... | ||
|
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|
Number one method of... | |
| Yeah, that's just how I'm going to say it. | ||
| Yeah, see? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck off. | |
| Did you know, though, if you're logged in, though, sometimes it comes up different? | ||
| Because I said something like... | ||
| Dude, we're wrong. | ||
| We're way wrong. | ||
| What? | ||
| We're really wrong. | ||
| Number one is firearm. | ||
| So he's shooting. | ||
| 50%. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| 50% they shoot themselves. | ||
| 24% they hang themselves or suffocate. | ||
| Poisoning, which I thought was number one, is only 16%. | ||
| Jumping off shit, Jamie thought, 2.3%. | ||
| Cut, 1%. | ||
| 1.8%. | ||
| Drowning is 1.1%. | ||
| Fire! | ||
| Is 0.4%. | ||
| Ooh. | ||
| Who would do that? | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Transporter related. | ||
| That means you jump in front of a truck. | ||
|
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|
Oh. | |
| Transporter. | ||
| What a weird euphemism. | ||
| Transporter related. | ||
| That's 0.4%. | ||
| I'm gonna die by transporting. | ||
| Yeah, how weird, man. | ||
| Firearms. | ||
| 50. That's America, though. | ||
| That's America. | ||
| That's how we do. | ||
|
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When in doubt, take it out. | |
| It's a scary way to die. | ||
| Knowing that you're gonna pull that trigger and it's all gonna go blank. | ||
| But I've known more than one person that's done it. | ||
| In my lifetime, I've known several people that have killed themselves with guns. | ||
| The weird article is like when someone does something like that, they go, you know, we need to change the gun laws. | ||
| What? | ||
| Like when someone kills someone with a gun, we need to change gun laws. | ||
| Well, I guess it's kind of easier to kill someone if you have a gun, but if somebody wants to kill you, it's because they want to kill you. | ||
| It's not because they have a gun. | ||
| It's not like you have a gun and go, I'm thinking about fucking killing somebody now that I got this gun. | ||
| No, you only use a gun to kill somebody because you want to kill them. | ||
| Unless it's an accidental gun shooting and then you're dealing with a totally different situation. | ||
| But the idea that giving someone a gun makes them more likely to kill people, I'm not sure if I buy that. | ||
| When the LA riots were going on, a lot of people had their own personal firearms, and this guy I know, he said he had to go on the roof of his apartment with a gun because they were trying to break into his house and stuff like that, and he actually had to shoot somebody. | ||
| He shot somebody? | ||
| Yeah, in the arm or something like that, I think he said. | ||
| Who is this guy? | ||
| I don't want to say. | ||
| He might be a bullshitter. | ||
| I can tell you off air. | ||
| Is he a bullshitter? | ||
| No, no, absolutely not. | ||
| Occasionally? | ||
| Never. | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| No. | ||
| What's his dick taste like? | ||
| Uh... | ||
| Popcorn. | ||
| Your poop. | ||
| I think that Anthony Bourdain covered that on one of his shows. | ||
| The riots in Koreatown where the Koreans had to arm themselves and get on top of their buildings because all the cops were in Beverly Hills. | ||
| Remember that shit? | ||
| Koreatown just sort of got ransacked. | ||
| And these guys were on top of their roofs with rifles. | ||
| They were getting in trouble for having guns out. | ||
| But if you look, there was like this giant wall of cars that guarded Beverly Hills. | ||
| It was really kind of fucked up and racist and creepy. | ||
| That was a creepy moment. | ||
| The way the police shielded parts of Los Angeles for the riots and didn't do anything to protect other parts. | ||
| And obviously they were given mandates. | ||
| Obviously there was someone that was telling them what they're supposed to do and not supposed to do. | ||
| But the weird choice was to just so openly and clearly defend wealthy people. | ||
| There's a lot to lose in the wealthy people's houses worth millions and billions of dollars and a lot of, you know, histories. | ||
| Yeah, but so the poor people and their stores aren't worth as much? | ||
| Yeah, but their PlayStation 2 can get replaced easier than like a painting that was made by Da Vinci. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| You're not looking at it right. | ||
| They're talking about businesses. | ||
| These people were on businesses. | ||
| Like these businesses probably got a million dollars worth of merchandise. | ||
| And their business is getting broken into. | ||
| It's really not that much different than a rich person's house. | ||
| It's just the fact that it's a business in Koreatown. | ||
| That riot was in the new NWA movie. | ||
| It was cool seeing them remake that riot. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's an article about... | ||
| Art Thiefs. | ||
| Did you read that today? | ||
| It was out today? | ||
| About how few works of art ever get recovered when there's art theft. | ||
| It's really interesting. | ||
| When I lived in Boston about 25 years ago, there was this big art... | ||
| Big stolen art event where these people broke into the... | ||
| I think it was... | ||
| I don't remember which... | ||
| I want to say the Getty, but I know I'm wrong. | ||
| It's not the Getty Museum. | ||
| There was a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huntington? | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| There was a museum in Boston. | ||
| And it was a big-time museum. | ||
| And these guys broke into it 25 years ago and stole a shitload of Rembrandts. | ||
| And, like, here it is. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Two suspects? | ||
| This is what you're talking about, I guess. | ||
| 25 years ago, these guys are dead now, though. | ||
| They are? | ||
| When did this come out? | ||
| Just recently. | ||
| This article is recently? | ||
| August 7th. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| The two men suspected of masquerading as police officers to rob an art museum of $500 million worth of masterpieces in 1990 are dead, the FBI say. | ||
| Two years ago, investigators announced they knew who stole 13 works, including paintings by Rembrandt and Vermeer. | ||
| I don't know who that dude is. | ||
| From Boston's Isabella Stewart, the Gardner Museum. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| But they refused to elaborate, saying only the investigation was focused on recovering the artwork. | ||
| So the suspects are dead, but it's interesting, $500 million worth of art, and no one's ever recovered the art. | ||
| So someone's got the art. | ||
| Do you think it's just like North Korea? | ||
| Like they just have like a bunch of galleries like yes, we have all the most famous American paintings and stuff. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| No, I think it's rich people. | ||
| I think it's really really rich people that don't give a fuck where that art came from. | ||
| They have a private collection and they walk by it and they laugh. | ||
| You know that they bought a Rembrandt, that they have a Picasso. | ||
| But I think that it's dangerous for them because if they get caught, they know what that fucking thing is. | ||
| It's like if you have a Rembrandt on your wall, I don't know about you, but me, I would have no idea what it is. | ||
| Someone would have to tell me. | ||
| But if someone is a serious art collector, enough that they're willing to spend millions of dollars on a painting, they're going to know exactly what that thing is. | ||
| But people are creepy, man. | ||
| People that are collectors, like collectors of things, people get real creepy about real specifics, like they want a Picasso, they have a Rembrandt, they have a this guy, a that guy, and they need a Picasso, I need a Picasso, but nothing is on the market. | ||
| And then some guy comes up to you and says, I know something that's about to go on the market, and you know, right now it is in a collection. | ||
| That is public, and it will no longer be public. | ||
| And someone will own it, and it could be you. | ||
| Would you be interested in this? | ||
| And you're like, well, what are we talking here? | ||
| What are we saying? | ||
| Well, we'll show you a photograph, and they'll show you what it is. | ||
| And the guy goes, well, maybe. | ||
| What are we talking here? | ||
| Well, we're talking about $2 million. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| I think we could work something out. | ||
| And then they have to figure out how to exchange money where it doesn't get traced. | ||
| Yeah, and then have it looked at and appraised to make sure it's real. | ||
| I mean, that's... | ||
| That's tough, that whole black market thing. | ||
| Well, people have been busted doing that. | ||
| They've been busted doing that with statues. | ||
| There was a Roman statue that they brought this guy in. | ||
| Brian Callen told me the story, and then I went and listened to it on something else, where this guy had this statue, and they had spent so much money appraising it, and they bought it, and they brought in this expert, and the expert literally looked at it for a few minutes and goes, can you get your money back? | ||
| And he's like, what are you talking about? | ||
| He goes, can you get your money back? | ||
| This is fake. | ||
| You need to get your money back. | ||
| He's like, what? | ||
| And apparently he had bought it from a legitimate source, but the legitimate source had been swindled. | ||
| It's like, they can figure out a way to actually add mold to shit, to make it look super old. | ||
| They bury things underground and add mold to them. | ||
| Like, they figure out a way to have... | ||
| Because if you can find something, like, um... | ||
| Something that's really old like that. | ||
| Somebody gave me a coin. | ||
| Mark Gordon gave me a coin. | ||
| It's an 1800-year-old coin from Rome. | ||
| But there's a fuckload of them. | ||
| They made a bunch of them. | ||
| This guy, whoever the guy was at the time, had a shitload of his coins made. | ||
| You can get a hold of them. | ||
| They're not cheap, but you can get them. | ||
| But a statue from back then... | ||
| Just a really complex, well-worked piece of sculpture is probably worth insane amounts of money. | ||
| If there's only one of them and it's 1,800 years old, 2,000 years old, it's probably worth millions of dollars. | ||
| So if someone could sit around and figure out how to fake it... | ||
| So you make one, you make it real close, then you slowly chip away at it and add to it and then figure out a way to simulate erosion and then figure out a way to get this mold in it. | ||
| And this mold was apparently the right mold for the area. | ||
| So it had a lot of people fooled. | ||
| But this one art expert just looked at it and was like, this is not right. | ||
| This is not real. | ||
| Like he just knew. | ||
| He could just tell. | ||
| Because he'd just seen so many of them. | ||
| Whereas most people, I mean, if you're a guy whose, your expertise is in appraising ancient statues, you develop a finely honed sense of what an ancient statue looks like. | ||
| So for him, it was like really obvious, like right away, like the hue is off, something's off, this can't be real, holy shit, you gotta get your money back quick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whereas, you know, you or I would be like, whoa dude, it's like 3,000 years old. | |
| I heard it's 5,000 years old. | ||
| We'd both be retarded and fucking staring at the stupid thing. | ||
| Meanwhile, Mike from Calabasas made it. | ||
| Fat Jew made it. | ||
| Fat Jew made it. | ||
| He doesn't make anything, does he? | ||
| What is this? | ||
| That movie documentary Tim's Vermeer that Vermeer just came up on here and it made me think of it. | ||
| Someone, I don't remember which guest brought it up, but this is a really, really great documentary Penn Jillette made about this millionaire guy. | ||
| He actually runs the company that makes the New Tech TriCaster we use here. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| He figured out this really long process of how to recreate. | ||
| He made a forgery, but no one knew how to make the forgery. | ||
| And he spent years figuring out how this guy Vermeer actually was making these photorealistic paintings and then figured out how to do it himself and was making paintings like a factory almost that were indecipherable from actual Vermeers. | ||
| Indistinguishable? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's amazing. | ||
| It's a really cool documentary, really worth checking out. | ||
| I heard good things about this. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| I'd like to watch it again just to get inspired at the amount of work this guy put in. | ||
| Anytime Penn Jillette gets involved in something, it's always gonna kick ass. | ||
| He's a smart dude. | ||
| He looks weird now, though. | ||
| He's lost a lot of weight. | ||
| I never say that it's bad for someone to be healthy, but he's unhealthy for so long, you kind of recognize him as being this big fat guy, and now all of a sudden he's like super thin. | ||
| It's actually Norton is like really thin right now. | ||
| It's really weird seeing... | ||
| Norton looks great. | ||
| Norton's healthy as fuck. | ||
| He's healthiest. | ||
| He texted me the other day about cryo chambers. | ||
| He wants to start freezing. | ||
| I sent you guys a link, a new 3D display that doesn't require glasses. | ||
| We've talked about in the past a lot of what would be so cool is not 3D TVs, but not having to wear glasses and watch a TV and stuff. | ||
| And Gizmodo actually had a pretty good article using Cara Santa Maria as an example of the 3D technology. | ||
| And it's using a whole bunch of different projectors and screens, but I guess it's really realistic. | ||
| Like if you're staring at and you walk around her, it looks like her standing right in front of you. | ||
| And they have a... | ||
| Wow, so it's a hologram. | ||
| It kind of is a hologram, but I think they're... | ||
|
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Go full screen on that, young Jamie. | |
| So that's a fake dude or a real dude? | ||
| No, this is a real dude. | ||
| This is how they make it. | ||
| Those are all cameras around him, I believe, or lights. | ||
| It said 30 cameras. | ||
| So those are just lights. | ||
| So the 30 cameras are capturing 30 different images. | ||
| There's three rows of 10 images. | ||
| So they're recording all of him in all the different angles. | ||
| It's Morgan Spurlock. | ||
| That's the Super Size Me guy. | ||
| And so they're recording him moving in all sorts of different ways. | ||
| And then what do they do with it? | ||
| See, now this is, I think, showing what they're filming. | ||
| Like if you were to walk around. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And then... | ||
| So, they can take this, what we're looking at, and somehow or another project it in front of you like a hologram, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So like that magic leap technology sort of a thing? | ||
| Kind of. | ||
| Hold on, let's see. | ||
| Let's turn this up a little so we can hear what's going on. | ||
|
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|
6,000 LED lights and 50 high-definition cameras. | |
| After they captured all this data, they put it together to make a 3D model of me, and then they were able to project that onto the screen as you see me now. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So it looks like it is a screen, but it's a 3D screen. | ||
| So if you were to stare at it, you'd be able to walk to the side, to the left, to the right. | ||
| They had this guy who's a Holocaust survivor. | ||
| Imagine going through the Holocaust all the way to 2015, and they turned you into a crazy 3D animated thing. | ||
| What series of generational jumps that guys pass through. | ||
| Just think how cool it's going to be when this gets a little bit better in the future, like the Hall of Presidents at Disneyland, you know, and stuff like that, where you're actually, holy shit, Abraham Lincoln's sitting right in front of me. | ||
| Yeah, you're gonna get real holographs, real holograms, rather, that are just... | ||
| You'll probably be shocked when your hand goes through them. | ||
| And they're gonna get to a point, especially if this magic leap is in any way indicative of what it's gonna really look like when it's done. | ||
| Because right now you're looking at it and it's like... | ||
| How much of that is proof of concept? | ||
| How much of that is the actual video of Magic Leap? | ||
| If you don't know what Magic Leap is, Google it. | ||
| It's a wild new hologram thing that they're doing where they have like an elephant dancing inside a person's palm. | ||
| A little ballerina that was on a girl's bed. | ||
| It was like a four-inch ballerina. | ||
| But I don't know. | ||
| Do you know? | ||
| Like, how much of that is real? | ||
| That was all demo. | ||
| Like, I think that's not real. | ||
| I think that's just saying what in the future it's going to look like. | ||
| What it will look like. | ||
| I think I remember reading, someone has tried it, but he had to be very careful about what he was allowed to say he actually experienced. | ||
| He had a very, very rudimentary, very early version of it. | ||
| It's a giant football helmet-sized thing he had to wear. | ||
| It was projecting things in front of his eyes on it to us. | ||
| Screen-like thing. | ||
| But they're doing something called light field augmentation. | ||
| It's like brand new technology that no one else has used. | ||
| We can't compare it to anything. | ||
| I wonder how they're projecting it. | ||
| So right now he's got to wear this helmet thing. | ||
| And then eventually they'll break it down to like a Google Glass type size. | ||
| Or sunglasses or something like that. | ||
| But I wonder how they're projecting it in front of you. | ||
| Is it just a... | ||
| Is it a recreation of 3D depth? | ||
| When I was reading it, they're actually projecting light into your eye. | ||
| Like, we're accepting light into our eye right now, like through our irises, but they're gonna shoot light into your eye, like lasers-type stuff. | ||
| How long before someone goes blind? | ||
| Or has eye cancer? | ||
| They're saying now that cell phones absolutely cause cancer. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a study that says that they're pretty positive that cell phones cause cancer. | ||
| Is there such thing as hand cancer? | ||
| Because that's what would be the most, right? | ||
| From texting all day? | ||
| I don't think people get hand cancer that much. | ||
| Hands are pretty durable. | ||
| Let's see this. | ||
| Cell phones cause cancer. | ||
| Cell phones and the cancer risk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was a recent article about it where they were talking about it. | ||
| I'm trying to find the recent version of it. | ||
| Don't smoke your cell phone. | ||
| Berkeley. | ||
| Berkeley says cell phones cause tumors. | ||
| This is from just a couple months ago. | ||
| Berkeley is the first city to mandate cell phone carriers informed buyers of potential radiation exposure. | ||
| A neuroscientist on why it's premature to claim phones cause cancer. | ||
| That might have been what I read from the Daily Beast. | ||
| I mean, it makes sense, though. | ||
| I think that it's probably not good to have all these Wi-Fi signals running through our fucking houses constantly. | ||
| I mean, how could it be good that you're throwing hundreds of megabytes around the room in the air, right? | ||
| I mean, this laptop is downloading shit right now. | ||
| It's completely unconnected by wires. | ||
| Yours is as well. | ||
| Isn't it weird? | ||
| There's movies in the air right now around us. | ||
| There's like dick pics right next to your cheek. | ||
| Radios. | ||
| Radio signals in the air. | ||
| Cell phones. | ||
| Signals are in the air. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, they say that fucks with bees. | ||
| That bees, apparently, they hear it like a jackhammer. | ||
| Like, the way bees communicate, they're... | ||
| I think they're pretty positive that bees are negatively impacted by the sounds and the signals that are flying around them all the time. | ||
| Wi-Fi, cell phone, radio, all that jazz. | ||
| That it's fucking with their peace. | ||
| See, I don't know... | ||
| How much we feel, or how much it impacts us. | ||
| But what I do know is, every time I go somewhere where there's no cell phone, where it's like Alaska or Montana or something like that, where you're out in the real wilderness, it seems different. | ||
| Like, the actual physical environment of the air seems different. | ||
| Like, when you're standing out there... | ||
| You're like, what if this is a different kind of solitude? | ||
| It's a different kind of silence. | ||
| It's just like real silence. | ||
| It's not like there's something missing in the air. | ||
| And it could be just totally bullshit. | ||
| It could be a placebo. | ||
| It could be just the fact that you know that you can't get a cell phone signal and there's no one for miles. | ||
| You can't see anybody. | ||
| That it just gives you this feeling of solitude that sort of accentuates the... | ||
| You know the quiet of the environment but it might not be it might be there there might be an actual physical thing like a That you're feeling in your brain that you can't quite put your finger on but it's there all the time It just makes me wonder though if we could look at it like something like a gnat though and be like well they would feel it first You know they're so small that just a tiny gnat or what are those little red dots that are insects that are always like Walking around on bricks and stuff you know I'm talking was like a bright orange dot And you're like, | ||
| I'll just accept that that's a bug, that orange dot. | ||
| No, I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| It's little dots. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're like these little insects. | ||
| It looks like a little red dot. | ||
| It's like a pixel, but they're super small. | ||
| I don't know if they have them in California, maybe. | ||
| There's two articles in a row here. | ||
| It's official. | ||
| Cell phones are killing bees. | ||
| And then right below it, cell phones don't kill bees. | ||
| One of them is from 2011, May 21st. | ||
| The other one is May 19th, 2011. It's hilarious. | ||
| How the fuck is someone supposed to figure it out? | ||
| Do bees squirt? | ||
| I think they were saying that it interferes with them. | ||
| So let's see. | ||
| Bees cell phones interfere. | ||
|
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Let's see this. | |
| Interfere. | ||
| Study links bees decline to cell phones. | ||
| This is on CNN. Yeah, and they're saying that the cell phone signals, somehow or another, cell phone radiation may be contributing to the decline of bee populations. | ||
| In some areas of the world. | ||
| You know, Radiolab had this interesting story about bees, where, um, in China, they, because of what, what are you, what are you pulling up here, Jamie? | ||
| Says it doesn't? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, that's the government, though. | ||
| Those are criminals. | ||
| This is a criminal website. | ||
| This might be, might as well be ISIS. Who knows if they're telling you the truth. | ||
| Um, uh, this is a Huffington Post, bro. | ||
| Says it's real. | ||
| What was I just saying? | ||
| Oh, decline in bees. | ||
| In China, they did this study where they found out that they had rapidly declining bee populations for whatever reasons, pollution, whatever. | ||
| And so they decided that they were going to have to figure out another way to pollinate some of their plants. | ||
| So these apple trees. | ||
| So they hand pollinated the apple trees and their yield went through the roof. | ||
| Because apparently when you have bees do it, bees are sloppy fucks. | ||
| They don't even know what they're doing. | ||
| It's like you're asking someone to do something and they don't even know what they're doing. | ||
| And they're idiots. | ||
| You know, bees are just little robots, little insect robots. | ||
| They just run around and they get this pollen and they accidentally spread it. | ||
| They're not doing it on purpose. | ||
| But when you have people do it on purpose, they had people doing it with paintbrushes. | ||
| And when they had the people doing it with paintbrushes, like significant increase in yield. | ||
| But then people wanted more money, and then they realized that, you know, in China, like, the more lucrative the business became, the more people organized and said, we want more money, and the more they decided it was cost-prohibitive. | ||
| But they tried... | ||
| This is all from a Radiolab podcast called... | ||
| I think it was called Worth. | ||
| Don't quote me on that, though. | ||
| But it was all about how much are things worth. | ||
| And one of the things that they were talking about were how much... | ||
| How much is it worth to have bees pollinate these plants? | ||
| You don't think about it that way. | ||
| You think about it like, oh, it's just a part of nature. | ||
| But if you had to put a monetary value on it, then maybe you would think more carefully about maintaining healthy bee populations. | ||
| And I think the number they were using was like in the billions. | ||
| That having healthy bee populations that pollinate plants is worth X amount of billions of dollars in labor. | ||
| Whether or not that's true. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Seems like you could use, like those little robot drone things, we could almost make our own robot bees in the future. | ||
| Well, they have done that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They have done that. | ||
| Monsanto did that. | ||
| Monsanto has drone bees. | ||
| You ever seen them? | ||
| No. | ||
| Pull them up, Jamie. | ||
| Monsanto drone bees. | ||
| Wait till you see this. | ||
| This is the idea, I think, is once we pollute the atmosphere to the point where bees can't live anymore, they're going to release these fucking insect hordes. | ||
| Jump into the fields. | ||
| These horrible little monsters. | ||
| Boston Dynamics just released a new robot video running through a forest and it's very creepy looking. | ||
| It looks like an army soldier. | ||
| Those fucking things are terrifying, man. | ||
| Boston Dynamics, they make some of the scariest shit. | ||
| Did you find any Monsanto bees? | ||
| Drone bee? | ||
| I sent you the link of the other robot one. | ||
| Do you want to look at that? | ||
| I have that. | ||
| The only stuff I'm finding on this Monsanto bee are sites that don't look legit. | ||
| Robotic bees to pollinate Monsanto crops. | ||
| That sounds like a troll. | ||
| Earthfirstnews.wordpress.com. | ||
| Dude, that's it though. | ||
| Go to it and they'll show you the bee. | ||
| I know, but that's where I'm at. | ||
| Is it fake? | ||
| Go to Snopes. | ||
| Is it on a WordPress? | ||
| It's from Harvard. | ||
| It says the Harvard monolithic bee. | ||
| Harvard Microbiotics Lab have been working with its micro-air vehicles project since 2009. Working on it. | ||
| Barring from the biomechanics and social organization of bees, the team of researchers is undergoing the creation of a tiny winged robot. | ||
| Look at this fucking thing, man. | ||
| Is that real? | ||
| Seems real. | ||
| It's the size of a penny. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So they cut that bee out of that thing. | ||
| The little circuit board. | ||
| Published reports from the lab also describe potential military uses, surveillance, and mapping, but the dime-sized cyberbees have yet to be outfitted with neurotoxin tip stingers. | ||
| Yuck, yuck, yuck. | ||
| This looks real as fuck, dude. | ||
| If this is fake, this is a really elaborate sort of a hoax. | ||
| That or it's like, you know, a final at some college, you know, some engineers. | ||
| That was my final. | ||
| Yeah, it could be. | ||
| But I don't think it's anything outside of the realm of possibility. | ||
| Whoa, look at this. | ||
| It is real. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Look at this fucking thing. | ||
| This is the little tiny fake bug. | ||
| So how does this thing fly? | ||
| Oh wow, those things go so fast you can't even see it. | ||
| So they move just like a real bug, like the same sort of thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Printed Circuit MEMS is a versatile process for creating machines at the millimeter scale. | |
| It can create complex electrical and mechanical systems using a variety of techniques. | ||
| I don't see it flying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This seems like some... | |
| Hmm. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Sounds like an idea, again. | ||
| Concept. | ||
| Yeah, they didn't show it fly. | ||
| They just showed the wings buzzing. | ||
| Which he could have just hooked up to a battery. | ||
| Show me it flying, bitch. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why would you show something that flies but not have it fly? | ||
| That seems silly, right? | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't seem right. | ||
| But that Boston Dynamics robot is real, and it looks like a soldier. | ||
| It looks like Star Wars running through it. | ||
| Look at that thing. | ||
| Oh, it's so awful. | ||
| There's a video also of it. | ||
|
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|
This is just an animated GIF. It's terrifying. | |
| It's... | ||
| It's weird because it's hooked up right now to a giant tube in the back of it, but that's just for now. | ||
| Aren't they owned by Google now or something like that? | ||
| Boston Dynamics? | ||
| Skynet, you mean? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're showing all their different robots right now in this video. | ||
| My friend who worked for Google doesn't work for Google anymore. | ||
| So now I can't find out when they're gonna attack. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| I was hoping that she could at least send me the bat signal. | ||
| Skynet's gonna go live and these robots are gonna start attacking. | ||
| But does she work somewhere better? | ||
| Apple or something like that? | ||
| Should move to another corporation that I'll tell you about later. | ||
| But look at this, um, this thing walking on those uneven rocks. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
|
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|
Oh, look at that. | |
| Look, it gets hit. | ||
| It lifts its leg up. | ||
| It checked the leg kick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Balance. | |
| That's a 20-pound ball that slammed into it, a 20-pound piece of metal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Or 20 kilograms, we don't know. | ||
| Can you imagine these things during riots? | ||
| They're just gonna throw these robots out that are not gonna have any real judgment skills. | ||
| Just grab, you know, keep out. | ||
| The real worry is that this is how we're going to do our wars. | ||
| These things are going to go into cities and just kill people. | ||
| This is robot versus robot until robots get to people and they decimate human populations. | ||
| That's the wars we have. | ||
| We send robots to kill people. | ||
| And then we send robots to kill robots that are trying to kill people. | ||
| And then we send our robots to kill the people that created the robots to kill the people. | ||
| And then we've got robot wars. | ||
| That's possible, man. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| It's gonna start off pretty cool though like oh my god We're getting attacked, but it's a robot attack and we have robots and we're just watching robots on TV here Yeah for a little bit so Jamie there is a video of it just look up robotic bees could change the world and then go to It's pretty far down like maybe seven-eighths into the video You'll see this thing is attached for with a very small wire But it actually is flying It's | ||
| fucking crazy to look at, man. | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| It's a three-minute video, so go to about, like, 240-something. | ||
| And you can see the actual fake bug flying. | ||
| But it's connected just like that robot is. | ||
| You know, the robot's connected with a hose in the back, with wires. | ||
| This is connected with a very small wire. | ||
| But it's real. | ||
| So it's not just a proof of concept. | ||
| They just have to figure out a power source that makes sense. | ||
| But they're not, the robot bees are fucking crazy and creepy, but what's really creepy is, see that thing? | ||
| Look at that thing flying. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| I mean, it's mimicking a hummingbird or a bee, but look at it. | ||
| Well, see, this is an actual bee, but look at it right there. | ||
| I mean, that is flying. | ||
| That's nuts, man. | ||
| Here's what's scarier, though. | ||
| Go to 10 Incredible Micro Robots. | ||
| This is fucking nuts, man. | ||
| Wait till you see this video. | ||
| 10 Incredible Micro Robots. | ||
| Micro and then dash robots. | ||
| Top one. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Check this shit out. | ||
| This is one style that flies around like little helicopters. | ||
| Look at these fucking things, man. | ||
| They come out of these boxes. | ||
| So imagine that. | ||
| You're sitting in your office. | ||
| This is fake though, right? | ||
| This is proof of context. | ||
| That's CGI. Yeah. | ||
| But look at some of these ones that they're creating. | ||
| These are all the different... | ||
| So this is Self Organizing Systems Research Lab from Harvard. | ||
| These things organize and they can figure out where to go. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Elapsed time, 11 hours. | ||
| Elapsed time, 5 hours. | ||
| And they form shapes. | ||
| They go into certain positions. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| One of them would climb up a wall. | ||
| So some of these are prototypes. | ||
| Some of these are proof of concept. | ||
| Some of these are just theories. | ||
| But there's eggheads working on this stuff right now. | ||
| That's so awesome. | ||
| Did you see the video where they downloaded the brain of a worm and put it into a little Lego robot thing? | ||
| And it's just like running around hitting walls and going up. | ||
| I watched it twice. | ||
| I watched it twice. | ||
| And the first time, I thought it was a woman's brain. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god, did you see that they downloaded a woman's brain into a machine to my friend? | ||
| I'm like, no they didn't. | ||
| I'm like, yeah. | ||
| And I pulled up and I'm like, oh wait, it says worm. | ||
| But the whole time I thought, how hilarious. | ||
| You saw it said woman instead of worm? | ||
| I'm like, look how dumb this woman is. | ||
| She's just hitting her. | ||
| Well, she's a worm. | ||
| She can't think. | ||
| She's a Lego or whatever the fuck she is. | ||
|
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But that's funny thinking. | |
| What do you think they would do if you put your brain in a Lego? | ||
| Definitely probably go in circles and hit a wall. | ||
| It would just run over to a laptop and just research fat Jew all day. | ||
| Just hang out on MFC. There's a bunch more in that video too. | ||
| One of them is a typer. | ||
| One of them is typing. | ||
| With the top ten organizing ones, one of them is this little thing that goes over a piece of paper, like a typewriter would do, but types it. | ||
| So you put a message in this little thing, and then you put this little thing on a piece of paper, and it will print out like a typewriter would what your message is. | ||
| Which is really weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You can see that one at like... | ||
| Let me see here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Check it out, Jamie. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Zufa Labs. | ||
| How hilarious. | ||
| I don't think it's the same Zufa. | ||
| But it said like 225. Go to 225. Look at this fucking thing, Brian. | ||
| I mean, I think that typing is kind of... | ||
| The idea of a typewriter is kind of outdated. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| It just floats across a piece of paper and writes what you wanted it to say. | ||
| It was fucking very strange, right? | ||
| Zuta Labs. | ||
| Not Zufa. | ||
| But look at that. | ||
| It's really neat. | ||
| But it seems like that's old technology that's just not even created yet. | ||
| You know, that seems like that should have already been made. | ||
| It seems what would be more... | ||
| Like, having paper that you could just take a flash and print it by just doing, like a Xerox machine almost, where you're just flashing some paper, like a negative photo or something. | ||
| Well, that's 100% going to happen. | ||
| I think, also, what we were looking at earlier, the Kerasana Marina thing, the 3D, they're going to be able to do that with just, you're going to take a video or something with your cell phone and be able to send it to Jamie, and Jamie will watch, like, Princess Leia. | ||
| Help me, Obi-Wan. | ||
| You're my only hope. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's gonna happen. | ||
| It's just a matter of us staying alive long enough to see things that we never thought could be real. | ||
| It's not that far away. | ||
| There's these people that we don't even know, you don't even know they're working on these things, nobody knows of them, but yet they are like that close to going public. | ||
| Everybody has to swipe key cards before they go in the building. | ||
| They check your bag. | ||
| They make sure you don't bring your phone. | ||
| Your phone has to go into a bucket when you go into the laboratory because this is all proprietary shit. | ||
| They're checking. | ||
| They probably have those fucking fake buttons that are really cameras and shit. | ||
| Let me see your glasses. | ||
| Let me see those fucking glasses. | ||
| Glasses now. | ||
| They have glasses with little tiny cameras in them that are like so hard to see. | ||
| If you look at your selfie camera, look how little that goddamn lens is. | ||
| Like the selfie one, like the one on the back is tiny, right? | ||
| Look at my iPhone here. | ||
|
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|
But the one on the front is fucking stupid tiny. | |
| It's so little and it's good. | ||
| It's really good. | ||
| I mean, look how good a selfie camera is. | ||
| I mean, they do a fucking incredible job of capturing your image. | ||
| Like look at this. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a tiny-ass little pinpoint camera. | ||
| And it's got everyone in this room to the point where you could broadcast periscope from this thing that's like a Sharpie. | ||
| If you took a Sharpie and dotted a page with it, just dot, that's how big that camera is. | ||
| And yet, it's crystal clear. | ||
| So that could be in your button. | ||
| That could be in any... | ||
| If they're not physically patting you down, you could easily have something like that going on. | ||
| Yeah, the one I use in massage parlors looks like a car alarm. | ||
| Hey, you're on the air. | ||
| Keychain. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| The fuck, man? | ||
| But it's a video. | ||
| It films 1080p... | ||
| You don't film massage parlors, do you? | ||
| No. | ||
| Good. | ||
| I mean the one... | ||
| But no, it actually just looks like a little keychain, but it does 1080p. | ||
| It has a little memory card. | ||
| You just put it in your computer, and next thing you know, it's just like, oh, you got full video. | ||
| You just put it on the nightstand next to it, point it towards the girl. | ||
| Hats, anything. | ||
| That's really illegal, though. | ||
| I'm just kidding. | ||
| I don't do it. | ||
| That's the only reason I'm saying it. | ||
| Of course you don't. | ||
| But you think about what you could do that with. | ||
| I mean, belts would be an easy one, right? | ||
| Because you could actually hide the battery and everything in the belt. | ||
| You could literally hide the whole thing in a belt. | ||
| They would have to give you your own outfit. | ||
| They would have to make you come into the lab. | ||
| You have to take off all your clothes, put them in a locker, and then wear some scrub suit that they provide you. | ||
| Remember that movie, New Jack City, where they're making cocaine naked? | ||
|
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Titties. | |
| Titties out. | ||
| That's how they had to do it, because they didn't trust anybody. | ||
| People would leave with the product. | ||
| That's the same thing with these laboratories that are about to go live with all this crazy technology. | ||
| They have to take every precaution possible to make sure that people don't go public with their stuff. | ||
| That's one of the things about... | ||
| Big inventions, whether it's the light bulb or the telephone. | ||
| When these things are being worked on, there's usually a bunch of other people working on the exact same thing. | ||
| Like, scientific minds. | ||
| Here's the thing about, like, innovative minds or brilliant people. | ||
| They don't work in a vacuum. | ||
| For every Nikola Tesla who comes up with shit completely independent of other people's thoughts, there's most people, what their ideas are based on is based on the ideas of a bunch of other people that are sort of like Extrapolated to a point that maybe a few people saw coming, | ||
| you know, whether it's the idea of a telephone or the idea of Holograms or 3d printers or all these different things like people kind of see it coming and they're all working on it And then this one Thomas Edison motherfucker comes out with that light bulb and everybody's like wow, he's a genius Thomas Edison invented the light bulb and America was changed. | ||
| Where would we be for not the work of this great man? | ||
| Well, there's probably about five other dudes that we're working on at exactly the same time. | ||
| That's sort of what always happens with this stuff. | ||
| So a lot of it becomes a rush to getting the funding and getting the patents and then figuring out how to get it produced. | ||
| But there's usually probably a bunch of people working on similar shit. | ||
| So, like, right now, when you see this stuff, like these little micro-robots, when you see those big, crazy Boston Dynamic robots, and you see artificial intelligence, and this is all stuff that they're going public with, they're probably so close in so many different labs developing something that's really going to make you shit your pants. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I got one I saw today. | ||
| What did you say? | ||
| Some researchers have got a pig heart to work inside of a primate for 945 days, and that's something I didn't think was actually possible before. | ||
|
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Whoa. | |
| And they've got a kidney working for 136 days, and it says that they're probably geoengineering some of these pigs to be better to suit human organ transplants. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Well, here's something that Dr. Gordon, Mark Gordon, told me about. | ||
| I was telling him about the success that I had with getting stem cells shot on my shoulder. | ||
| It's kind of creeping me out. | ||
| Like, my shoulder still makes kind of some clicks. | ||
| It does some weird clicking stuff. | ||
| And, you know, I kind of feel it. | ||
| But I can't say there's any pain. | ||
| And I'm practicing archery every day. | ||
| So I'm shooting arrows with it. | ||
| So I'm pulling back. | ||
| This new bow I have is only 70 pounds. | ||
| But I'm pulling back 70 pounds. | ||
| 100 times a day every day and it's not hurting like the next day It feels like a little like something's going on with it, but it doesn't hurt whereas it would definitely be hurting before before the stem cells and Like lifting weights doesn't bother it like chin-ups don't bother it rows Don't bother it all these push-ups don't bother it all these different things that bothered it used to bother and it's only been four weeks What's freaking me out is how quick it is I talked to Daniel Cormier. | ||
| He's a UFC light heavyweight champ. | ||
| Same shit. | ||
| With the asterisk next to the champ. | ||
| But same shit. | ||
| He had an MCL tear. | ||
| Got some stem cells shot in there. | ||
| Bam. | ||
| No more swelling. | ||
| Feels great. | ||
| They don't even know how it works. | ||
| They have ideas of how it works, but they're not really sure how it's working. | ||
| These are non-specific cells. | ||
| And these cells go to the injured area, and they somehow or another know what's injured. | ||
| Through the immune system or something, the utilization of these stem cells causes injuries to heal way quicker than it ever did before. | ||
| And Dr. Gordon was telling me about this guy who got in a car accident. | ||
| Gets his chest crushed, okay, on the steering wheel, down to 30% heart capacity. | ||
| And he's fucked. | ||
| Can't have sex anymore. | ||
| Can barely walk. | ||
| I mean, he's just severely, severely diminished. | ||
| Get some stem cells shot into his heart. | ||
| Bam! | ||
| Back to 100%. | ||
|
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Wow. | |
| Just a few months. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| A few months? | ||
| A few months and his fucking heart's working 100% now. | ||
| And this is like, apparently this is going on all over the world. | ||
| Like, they're just going, wait, what, what, what, what? | ||
| Like, they're just starting to experiment. | ||
| But that's really what's happening. | ||
| It's experiments. | ||
| Because they don't exactly know why this shit works. | ||
| They have some theories, and they're trying it out, but a lot of people are real cautious about it. | ||
| But they're having some pretty incredible results with stem cells. | ||
| To the point where it makes you wonder, like, what are they gonna have in five years from now? | ||
| Because they didn't even have this ten years ago. | ||
| Ten years ago, if you told someone you got stem cells shot in an injury, they'd be like, what are you, from the future? | ||
| The fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Yeah, I wonder if there's also, because you're adding something new to the body that's kind of foreign if that passes on through DNA or, you know, like in the future. | ||
| Look at you with a clever question. | ||
| Like you have like a baby that has like an extra face or something to it? | ||
| I don't think it works like that. | ||
| It's just they're cells that are natural to your body. | ||
| They can do it that way or they can do it with placenta. | ||
| That's how I did it. | ||
| Mine was from human placenta from chicks who've had cesarean sections. | ||
| They take their placenta. | ||
| Did you get to choose the girl? | ||
| No. | ||
| I did not. | ||
| I don't think they would let you creep. | ||
| But they also can take it out of your fat. | ||
| You can have some of mine. | ||
| No, I don't want your fat. | ||
| My fat. | ||
| The idea is you use your own. | ||
| Would you get lipo? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If a guy was like a lipo surgeon and contacted the show and said, I would like to give Brian Redband some free lipo. | ||
| You know, I would totally do it because I'm lazy. | ||
| No, I've noticed that the older I get, the more around the muffin top thing. | ||
| It has nothing to do with you drinking every night. | ||
| Nah, probably not. | ||
| I mean, it's all Diet Coke. | ||
| Diet Coke sucker, it's sodium. | ||
| It's sodium. | ||
| Don't fucking bother me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's something going on. | ||
| I know, I only eat once a day, so it's so weird that I even have any issue at all, but I really wonder if I just quit drinking 100%. | ||
| It's weird, because I only drink diet sodas. | ||
| And so it's like Jack Daniels, whatever calories is in Jack Daniels I'm having, but if you want to eat one a day, you have calories to burn. | ||
| It's not like I'm eating hot dogs. | ||
| Well, you have a sedentary lifestyle. | ||
| You like sitting and not doing anything. | ||
|
unidentified
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Absolutely. | |
| Laying. | ||
| Yeah, laying. | ||
| It's even better than sitting. | ||
| Sitting's rough. | ||
| It's too hard. | ||
| You gotta stay up. | ||
| Yeah, I gotta stay up. | ||
| If I do that, we can just lay sideways. | ||
| You broke up with one of your girlfriends back in the day, the one where you went on this rampage and lost all that weight. | ||
| You were fucking determined to look good. | ||
| You decided, this is it. | ||
| I'm tired of being fat and waddling around everywhere. | ||
| That was ten years ago, too. | ||
| Awesome. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, so you feel like it's harder now because you're 41? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That changed like maybe five years ago where I'm just like, holy shit. | ||
| Like the energy was already low to begin with. | ||
| Now I wake up tired. | ||
| So that or I have... | ||
| Sleep apnea? | ||
| Because I really do wake up just going like, okay, I just need to stay awake enough to go to Starbucks, and then Starbucks doesn't seem like it works. | ||
| The problem with finding out if you have sleep apnea is you've got to go through one of those sleep studies, and those are annoying. | ||
| You saw that picture of me where I have all those electrodes stuck to my head. | ||
| I had it on my blog somewhere. | ||
| It's probably still up there, but I had these electrodes stuck all over my head and around my eyes and shit. | ||
| And then you try to sleep in this fucking weird bed in some weird room. | ||
| I had the hardest time sleeping. | ||
| But once I did, I was choking. | ||
| Clearly, they could tell. | ||
| There it is. | ||
| There's me covered up with... | ||
| See, I did the home version of that. | ||
| I just put a drop cam next to my bed, and I had it tell me any time it hears noises or movement, and then it records it in the clouds. | ||
| Then I can just go back and be like, oh, there's a noise here. | ||
| Oh, that's me snoring, or that's me moving. | ||
| I've been doing it for a couple months. | ||
| It's mostly, I'll snore on nights that I heavily drink or something like that, but it's always at the beginning of my sleep, and then I just, it's only for like a half hour or so, so it's not the whole night going like that or anything like that. | ||
| Well, heavily, when you're drunk and really exhausted, when I'm really exhausted, I snore horrible. | ||
| Like, the worst. | ||
| Like one of these hunting trips that I went on, me and Steve Rinella had to haul this pig down the side. | ||
| Well, I shot this pig and it rolled down the side of a hill. | ||
| And it was really far down the hill. | ||
| And the hill was ridiculously steep. | ||
| Like this. | ||
| I mean, like you couldn't walk up it. | ||
| You had to crawl up the hill. | ||
| You could crawl up it, but you literally couldn't stand up straight. | ||
| I mean, it was just that steep. | ||
| And it was a big pig. | ||
| It was like 200 plus pound pig. | ||
| So the pig goes... | ||
| Rolling down the side of this hill, and we had to figure out how to get it up the hill. | ||
| So we attached it to these cables, and we had this truck pull it, but the cables were rubbing on the rocks on the hill, and they kept snapping. | ||
| The cable snapped twice, and the pig came rolling back down, and then we had to stop the pig from rolling down. | ||
| So then the guide from the Tohon Ranch said, all right, this is what we're going to do. | ||
| We're going to roll the pig downhill. | ||
| I'm going to roll the pig downhill, and I think if you just roll it downhill, you'll get down to the road at the bottom, and I'll just drive around and pick you up the road. | ||
| So we figured, oh, okay, probably won't be that far. | ||
| He totally misjudged. | ||
| So not only that, I shot this pig with like five minutes left of light. | ||
| So it was like, if it gets dark at 6 o'clock, I shot the pig at 5.55. | ||
| So all this stuff we're doing in dark. | ||
| And this is a place, the Tejon Ranch, that has a, they have a trail camera that picks up movement and takes photographs. | ||
| So they have this waterhole. | ||
| They got pictures of 16 different mountain lions in this one waterhole. | ||
| And it's just me and Ranella with one gun. | ||
| I don't think he even had a gun with him. | ||
| I think it was just me and him. | ||
| One gun, 16 mountain lions, and a dead pig. | ||
| We're rolling it down this hill, but you can only go so far because we got to this point where it was just like so heavily wooded We had to cut up the pig and then we had to carry it out So we have to we had to gut this pig we take out the heart because you eat the heart and We got rid of the rest of the organs and he put one half on his shoulder. | ||
| I put one half on my shoulder and And then we had to carry this thing the rest of the way. | ||
| So we're carrying it for miles through the woods. | ||
| And the woods are like, it's super steep hills. | ||
| You get to the bottom. | ||
| You're trying to climb over logs. | ||
| I mean, it's fucked. | ||
| And it takes hours. | ||
| So from 6 p.m. | ||
| to midnight, this is what we did. | ||
| We just carried this. | ||
| We each had 100 pounds on our back. | ||
| Climbing over woods and trying to figure out how to get to where this truck is. | ||
| We finally get to where this truck is. | ||
| We got back to the cabin and just conked out. | ||
| And apparently I snored so bad that everybody else in the building didn't sleep. | ||
| I got shot with a tranquilizer dart. | ||
| I even had a mouthpiece in it. | ||
| I had a shitty one at the time. | ||
| I have a better one now. | ||
| Have you ever tried those nose strips? | ||
| Does those work? | ||
| That's not going to help. | ||
| I had already had my nose fixed by then. | ||
| It wasn't that. | ||
| It's a big issue with weightlifters. | ||
| Your neck gets big. | ||
| Your hole gets smaller. | ||
| The air hole actually gets smaller. | ||
| And I have a big tongue. | ||
| And so my tongue... | ||
| I don't mean to brag. | ||
| My god. | ||
| So you got a tight throat and a nice, big, fat tongue. | ||
| I got a tight throat and a fat tongue. | ||
| And my fat tongue, if I'm lying on my back especially, falls over the hole, the air hole, and it just chokes. | ||
| And so it's like... | ||
| Apparently that's what it sounds like. | ||
| I never listened to my snore. | ||
| I've heard you snore before. | ||
| It's bad. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember you snored when we went to Japan. | ||
| Did I? Oh, did I not have my mouthpiece in when I went to sleep? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I just remember... | ||
| On the plane? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| That'll happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They killed a mountain lion on the 5 freeway the other day. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Kill them all. | ||
| From the Santa Monica Mountains. | ||
| Cunts. | ||
| People are too happy about those things being around. | ||
| They're cute, though. | ||
| They're cool looking. | ||
| They just shouldn't be around people. | ||
| Boob, you shouldn't be around when they are. | ||
| Shut up. | ||
| I hate that fucking line of thinking. | ||
| That is an annoying line of thinking. | ||
| They're dangerous. | ||
| Mountain lions will fuck you up. | ||
| If you've never seen a picture of someone who got bit by a mountain lion, there was some poor lady who was on one of the news shows, and it was so graphic. | ||
| She had been attacked by a mountain lion on her bike, pulled her off of her bike, someone else tried to beat the thing off of her, and it just had a hold of her head, and just tore her face apart. | ||
| I mean, it was just, it was awful. | ||
| There was a video on HuffPost of a woman's beautiful lullaby to her sick pig. | ||
| And I don't know if you saw it or not, but it's one of those videos that I'm just... | ||
| It's the most cutest, like, human-looking eyes I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| Well, that's the thing about pigs. | ||
| I mean, it's coming from someone who just shot one or just told you about a time I shot one. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pigs are really smart, man. | ||
| They're smart. | ||
| And they kill them like vermin in Texas. | ||
| I mean, in Texas, they shoot them out of airplanes. | ||
| They're constantly fucking shooting them out of airplanes. | ||
| This poor pig is blind, and she rescued this pig. | ||
| It has to stay in this hospital. | ||
| Hold on, Jamie, you have two things playing at the same time. | ||
| It has to stay in this hospital, and I guess that one of the things is that... | ||
| There's so many loud noises at the hospital that it gets scared. | ||
| And so she comes there when she can and sings to it. | ||
| And it's just one of those videos you just sit there going, I don't want to eat bacon. | ||
| Never mind. | ||
| I may still eat bacon. | ||
| It's hard because bacon's good. | ||
| It is good. | ||
| Bacon's good, but it is... | ||
| It's just weird, man. | ||
| It looks like an old man. | ||
| Is that noise in the background hurt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is at a hospital. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I mean, that looks like a human. | |
| Stayin' with Harry, silver and few. | ||
| Silver the Harry. | ||
| This is annoying as fuck. | ||
| Stop that. | ||
| It's almost like a joke. | ||
| Let's see if you listen to this song. | ||
| The sound of tractor trailers falling off cliffs in the background. | ||
| That's an old Irish lullaby she's singing. | ||
| But it's a nine-month-old, 14-pound piglet. | ||
| Two million views. | ||
| If that was an African baby, 50 views. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's true, man. | ||
| People are brutal. | ||
| There was a picture of this fucking vulture that someone posted. | ||
| You know, it was a meme. | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| It wasn't funny, so Fat Jewish didn't use it. | ||
| But it was a meme of a vulture hovering over a black baby in Africa waiting for this kid to die. | ||
| And it was about how many people cared about this lion, but how few people care about the amount of people that starve to death every year in Africa. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Justin Wren is going to be on the podcast again soon. | ||
| He's fighting for Bellator now. | ||
| And he's back on the podcast, I think, in a week or so. | ||
| I gotta go check the calendar. | ||
| But he's back soon to talk about his... | ||
| Yeah, that's the 24th. | ||
| A week from today. | ||
| To talk about black widow babies? | ||
| He's fighting for Bellator, and one of the reasons why he's doing this is to try to raise awareness for the Pygmies. | ||
| He's such an amazing dude. | ||
| He's a real deal. | ||
| I always look for people like that. | ||
| I always think maybe somewhere along the line he'll reveal himself, and it turns out that he was really just doing this for his own profit, but he's not. | ||
| I don't think that about him, but you think that about someone usually when they have some big, like, remember Coney 2012? | ||
| One of my favorite times. | ||
| Whacking it, whacking it, whacking it. | ||
| The guy was, uh, well explain why you say whacking it. | ||
| Because the guy was in, uh, he was putting together this ridiculous thing to go after Joseph Coney and, you know, letting everybody know what a horrible person Coney was. | ||
| And then something happened to homeboy. | ||
| He wound up losing his mind and was in his underwear running around in traffic in San Diego, beating off in front of people. | ||
| And that was the end of Coney. | ||
| You have to be a perfect person. | ||
| You can't have a great cause and also be a nut. | ||
| Because then people just immediately dismiss your cause. | ||
| We never heard a peep out of Joseph Coney ever since. | ||
| It was Coney 2012. Here he is. | ||
| He's totally naked. | ||
| Crank this up so we could hear this guy He's running around naked and he's clapping What do you think he was on? | ||
|
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|
First of all, he's gayer than the day is long. | |
| There's no way you can even pretend to be that gay, like faking it. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| That seems like alcohol in Molly, maybe. | ||
| I think that's like some serious drugs. | ||
| I think that's like a meth move. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like a meth-y sort of behavior. | ||
| Running around slapping concrete and angry at everybody. | ||
| That's all meth-y. | ||
| Yeah, it's meth-y. | ||
| It seems meth-y is... | ||
| It's more popular than I ever thought it was. | ||
| It seems like I learned more about people doing meth and heroin in this city than I've ever thought was actually real life. | ||
| Yeah, meth is super popular. | ||
| Meth is real popular and... | ||
| And Adderall is real popular, too. | ||
| And you talk to doctors and they say, there's not that much difference. | ||
| Depends on how much you're taking, but meth and... | ||
| We associate meth with addiction. | ||
| And we associate meth with addiction and shitty behavior. | ||
| Like, you're going to take meth, you're definitely going to go out and get whacked out and do a bunch of stupid shit. | ||
| That's not necessarily the case. | ||
| Some people do meth and they're fine. | ||
| Like, they get cranked up and then the next day they'll feel like shit, but they don't do it every day. | ||
| Whereas we only think of meth by the people that quote-unquote abuse meth. | ||
| Imagine if meth became something like alcohol, where you could just go buy it. | ||
| Like if you run into someone, like if you're at a park and you run into some dude and he's hammered, like, oh great, a fucking drunk. | ||
| That's annoying. | ||
| Why is that any different than running someone who's methed out? | ||
| Like, there's people that can drink, like you, Jamie, you can drink and you're fine. | ||
| I've seen you a little silly, but you don't get crazy. | ||
| But we all know someone, I mean, every group of people knows at least one person that can't drink. | ||
| They drink. | ||
| Yeah, they go off, whoever it is, they go off the rails, they get crazy. | ||
| And if you ran into that person in a park and they're like, man, fuck these bitches, you know, running around drunk, you'd be like, oh great, a drunk. | ||
| Maybe that's the same thing with meth. | ||
| Maybe you do meth and you'd be like all fucking speedy and you'd clean your house up, but you'd be the same guy the next day. | ||
| You'd be like, ah, I did some good meth last night. | ||
| I got a little fucked up. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like we associate, like if you do meth... | ||
| You're off the rails, out of your fucking mind, done. | ||
| Like, Jesus, Brian's doing meth. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| But what if alcohol was illegal, but meth was legal? | ||
| And, you know, you know what Brian did last night? | ||
| He got drunk. | ||
| No fucking way. | ||
| He was drinking alcohol? | ||
| What an idiot. | ||
| And you're out there drinking booze, getting fucked up, which is totally normal to us. | ||
| But it's only normal because it's a society-sanctioned drug. | ||
| What if meth is just as good or bad for you, or just as problematic as alcohol is? | ||
| It's just not sanctioned, so we don't think about it that way. | ||
| We only associate it with those people who fucking claw their face off and lose their teeth and shit. | ||
| Is that what people were referring to as speed in like the 80s or is that something else? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's all amphetamines. | ||
| Different types and schedule, different classifications of amphetamines. | ||
| But like that was a big thing in professional pool was guys would play on amphetamines. | ||
| They'd play for 24, 48 hours. | ||
| They would play until the other guy dropped. | ||
| And they would they would gamble the entire time and apparently when you're on amphetamines you can see things better like you see like the path of the balls better you see like where the ball is gonna go someone described to me that they used to do meth and he said when you play pool on meth you know you look at a ball and the ball looks circular When I would play on meth, he said, I would see flat surfaces. | ||
| So I'd see like a series of flat surfaces around the ball, and I would know exactly what flat surface to hit. | ||
| So the ball collisions, like when you play pool, if you look at a ball and you're trying to cut a ball in the side pocket, you're just kind of estimating where the ball is going to collide with the other ball. | ||
| And that collision point, you have to assume there's going to be Like, a little bit of friction. | ||
| It's going to move the ball off the line a little bit, especially if you're cutting a ball. | ||
| So you've got to kind of compensate that, and you add a little spin to it to try to compensate for the deflection. | ||
| So there's all these variables that you have to kind of like play on feel. | ||
| He said it wasn't on feel. | ||
| He said when he was on meth, he would see like flat surfaces. | ||
| So he knew that this flat surface had to collide with that flat surface, and it would make like a direct tangent line that would go into the pocket. | ||
| And I was like, how come you can't see that when you're sober? | ||
| He's like, I can't even describe to you what it's like. | ||
| He's like, but when I'm fucked up on meth, I would see, like, flat surfaces instead of a curve. | ||
| There's probably a way to mimic that using some kind of eyewear, you know? | ||
| Yeah, probably. | ||
| But maybe not, because I think what he's seeing is a hallucination. | ||
| What he's seeing is like, yeah, I can fuck with you. | ||
| You know, it's like you get confidence. | ||
| And the balls are heads. | ||
| It's been big in baseball forever. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Like forever, forever. | ||
| Makes sense, right? | ||
| Like, you would be able to see the ball coming at you quicker, and you may be able to see the edges of the ball better. | ||
| Somebody did say that when they were on meth. | ||
| Like, someone was talking about Adderall, not on meth, but Adderall, that they could see the stitches of the ball as it's coming towards them. | ||
| What? | ||
| Well, all that stuff was invented to make people better. | ||
| See, that's weird. | ||
| All these things that, you know, like meth and amphetamines, they're all designed to give you more energy and make you better at certain tasks. | ||
| But we just associate them with abuse. | ||
| Because they're illegal. | ||
| Be weird. | ||
| Look, if Adderall and meth really are that close, and no one in this room is smart enough to understand whether or not they are. | ||
| But if they really are, and no one in this room has done meth, right? | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| Brian? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| But you've done Adderall, right? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I wish you did both. | ||
| Wait, meth, do you snort? | ||
| You might have. | ||
| I think I feel like I've done it before. | ||
| Well, you can smoke it, you can smoke it, you can snort it. | ||
| The idea is to get it directly into your bloodstream, right? | ||
| If you're taking the Adderalls, you're taking them as a pill, so it has to go through your body. | ||
| People snort those too. | ||
| Yeah, oh yeah, they do. | ||
| Well, that was one of the things that the bigger, stronger, faster guy had said. | ||
| That when they changed OxyContin's and made them to where you couldn't smoke them or snort them. | ||
| When you crushed them and turned them into a pill, their profit margin jumped or dropped by like 80%. | ||
| I think it happened after they were here that it's been approved for 11 year olds. | ||
| It did happen. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| OxyContin's for 8 to 11 year olds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| Because everybody knows. | ||
| That's why Sesame Street's on HBO now, man. | ||
| Shit's changing. | ||
| Quick. | ||
| Gonna do some meth. | ||
| Sesame Street's gonna have swearing in it. | ||
| Muppets are gonna fuck. | ||
| Finally, Burton and Ernie are taking a bath together. | ||
| Yeah, Burton and Ernie. | ||
| Different reasons. | ||
| How long have those guys been hiding their true love? | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Like, in those shows, like, you could have, like, two dudes that are obviously adults live together, and nobody questions, where's the girls? | ||
| These guys aren't into girls? | ||
| Like, Bert and Ernie never talked about chicks. | ||
| They just hung out together. | ||
| I'm surprised we don't like homeless people more, because we all loved Oscar the Grouch, you know? | ||
| And we kind of grew up as a young kid, you know, loving Oscar the Grouch. | ||
| But then we got older, we're like, ew, it's Oscar, get out of here. | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| By the way, those are red velvet mites, what I was talking about earlier. | ||
| Those red dots that are around there. | ||
| Very small. | ||
| Yeah, you were saying orange. | ||
| I was getting confused. | ||
| Alright, we'll wrap this bitch up. | ||
| We're out of time here. | ||
| I'll be back tomorrow with Jeff Nowitzki. | ||
| Jeff Nowitzki is a guy who busted Lance Armstrong. | ||
| And he now works for the UFC. He's a UFC drug guy. | ||
| He's going to clean up the sport. | ||
| I'm going to find out how. | ||
| Jeff Ross will be here on Wednesday. | ||
| It should be fun. | ||
| Jeff Ross's documentary or his Comedy Central special where he roasts prisoners. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| And he really did go right into prison. | ||
| And he wrote a really interesting thing that I retweeted about it. | ||
| I think he wrote it for HuffPost about how crazy the prison system is. | ||
| We'll let him talk about it. | ||
| I don't want to go into it. | ||
| Wednesday, we'll be at the Ice House. | ||
| Brian Redband will be there. | ||
| Brian Cowen will be there. | ||
| I'll be there. | ||
| More people to come. | ||
| I got a few other people that texted me during the show. | ||
| Those tickets will be available soon. | ||
| I'll put them up on Twitter in about 20 minutes. | ||
| This next Saturday, I'm in Austin, but it's sold the fuck out. | ||
| So you snooze, you lose, freak bitches. | ||
| Sorry! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sorry! | |
| You got any dates coming up? | ||
| Next Wednesday, we've got the secret show at the Comedy Store Belly Room. | ||
| It's a good belly room version of this show that we do. | ||
| It's going to be huge. | ||
| The belly room's the best. | ||
| Yeah, and then Friday, next Friday, August 28th, I'll be at the Ventura Comic Con. | ||
| I'm doing a show there at the Hong Kong Inn in Ventura, California. | ||
| Tickets are on sale right now. | ||
| And deathsquad.tv for all Brian Redband's t-shirts and shit, all sent through stamps.com. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| But with his own greasy little hands. | ||
| If you want to frame him for murder, you can get some DNA off of the packages. | ||
| He actually licks each and every one of those envelopes. | ||
| Yeah, it's true. | ||
| It's funny, sometimes I'll throw a shirt in there and something else goes in the package by mistake. | ||
| Fuck you, fat Jew. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Anything else? | ||
| Write Amazon and all the people that Fat G gets money from and tell them what you think about Fat G. Get it together, fella. | ||
| You don't have to live like this. | ||
| You could come up with your own stuff. | ||
| That's it, right? | ||
| Anything else we got going on? | ||
| That's basically it. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| We'll see you guys soon. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Good night. | ||
| Bye-bye. |
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