June 17, 2015 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:57:02
Participants
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Yee-haw! | ||
| Alright, we're live, dude. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| We're going. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| It's moving. | ||
| Just like that. | ||
| Just like that, man. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| This is amazing to have you on, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks for having me. | |
| I like your show. | ||
| You know, it's one of the few shows where you take over, like, it's a real problem whenever you got a show that's iconic. | ||
| And Top Gear is iconic as fuck. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| I mean, it's the iconic car show. | ||
| And then they did an Australia version, they've done other, how many versions are there now? | ||
| Australia was first. | ||
| There was a German one? | ||
| Really? | ||
| German one, yeah. | ||
| They did something with them once, and then that kind of killed them. | ||
| There's us. | ||
| We're still a thing. | ||
| There was a Top Gear Korea for like five minutes. | ||
| Which may or may not be going on. | ||
| They're the ones that dropped that Apache helicopter in the desert. | ||
| Everybody was fine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| There was like a ZL1 Camaro getting chased by an Apache helicopter, which is something we did in our first season. | ||
| And the same helicopter pilot and co-pilot got too close to... | ||
| The blades got too close and caught it and it dropped them. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| They walked away, the helicopter was toast, but then when you hear it, you start, there's certain things that happen, you start to look back at your life and go like, does that mean I could have also almost died when we did that like 20 minutes from my house, season one? | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| So luckily that didn't happen. | ||
| Apache helicopters are fucking expensive as shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| The government had all these helicopters laying around that they couldn't do anything with. | ||
| And the guy that flew it with us was a guy named Skip Lamb. | ||
| And he and a bunch of other pilots were like, hey, we could do stuff with TV, with movies, whatever. | ||
| So they started this little group, and the government gave them a bunch of these surplus helicopters that they weren't doing anything with. | ||
| So they exist, and they can do different films and movies. | ||
| And it's cool for these guys because they get to use the skills that they had and get to do something cool with them. | ||
| But again, it's a real helicopter. | ||
| Like, it's a bad bitch helicopter that... | ||
| They have to be worth millions, right? | ||
| They have to be. | ||
| They have to be. | ||
| I mean, what is one of those worth, Jamie? | ||
| Find out what one of those fuckers are worth. | ||
| We had, uh, not those, but we had a bunch of helicopters that we used on Fear Factor, and a lot of times they were really close to each other, like they'd have to fly staggered, where the blades of one were just above the blades of the other, and they're connected, both of them connected by ropes to something. | ||
| They were picking up, like a bus or some shit. | ||
| One fucking stupid thing. | ||
| $52 million! | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh my God! | ||
| I don't feel like there's any of those on Amazon is what my gut tells me. | ||
| There might be. | ||
| eBay, for sure. | ||
| 603% more expensive than the average for its class. | ||
| Were you ever close enough when they were doing that and you can feel like the wash from them? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I assume you've been in a helicopter. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| One of my least favorite things in life. | ||
| I've only been, honestly, I never flew in a helicopter the entire time we did Fear Factor. | ||
| We shot for six fucking years, helicopters every other week. | ||
| I never got on one. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| Because I couldn't. | ||
| I would have to be insured to get into the helicopter. | ||
| But I've been on them on vacation. | ||
| I've done the Big Island in Hawaii. | ||
| You go over the volcanoes? | ||
| Have you ever done that? | ||
| I've not. | ||
| I've been there once. | ||
| It was lovely. | ||
| Dude, it's... | ||
| It's, like, literally take, like, it takes my breath away just thinking about it. | ||
| Because it's the earth bleeding out into the surface. | ||
| Middle of nowhere. | ||
| And then pouring into the water and creating the island. | ||
| You watch the island be created. | ||
| Like, it's, every day, it's, like, a couple more inches gets added to the big island. | ||
| And you could actually literally watch it happen. | ||
| And that's that, like, next level stuff. | ||
| Meanwhile, the whole time I'm in there, I'm thinking, like, this bitch is going to go down any second. | ||
| That's When it takes off or when it lands is the worst part for me. | ||
| Because you can feel, when you feel that wind push up against the blade and it's like, are we going to go? | ||
| Are we thinking about it? | ||
| That's for me the pants crapping factor that makes it not fun. | ||
| Well, it's also, I've owned a lot of shitboxes, and I'm sure you have too. | ||
| So you're aware of things breaking, like you're on the highway. | ||
| Uh-oh, what's that noise? | ||
| Dun dun! | ||
| But if a wheel falls off, you and I can pull over. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| If a rotor drops off, we make the news. | ||
| It's not my favorite. | ||
| Yeah, I think there's a way they can kind of like... | ||
| Bill Burr just started flying helicopters. | ||
| He has this fucking hilarious bit about it on his last Netflix special about flying helicopters. | ||
| But he said that they're not nearly as bad to crash as people think they are. | ||
| There's a way you learn how to bring them down. | ||
| That's what he says. | ||
| I'll pass on that, man. | ||
| I will. | ||
| And for you, I would probably, if he ever invites you up, then I'd just tell him, no, I'll just meet you there, man. | ||
| I'll go. | ||
| I'll just drive. | ||
| I'll go for the story. | ||
| When I was in high school, a buddy of mine was taking flight lessons. | ||
| When I was in high school, I had a buddy of mine, and his parents were, he was a wild guy. | ||
| His family was, his dad was a poacher. | ||
| His dad would shoot deer illegally. | ||
| There was a lot of weird shit in their family, and they were teaching him at a very young age how to fly planes. | ||
| I don't know what the fuck they were going to do with the plane, but he came from a very sketchy family. | ||
| But we were like fucking 15, and we were in a plane. | ||
| I'm like, dude, you're 15. Well, you shouldn't be flying shit, but we were flying in a little single-engine plane. | ||
| One of those little... | ||
| One of my best friends flies for Delta, and I tell him, you know, you travel a lot, you get it, but if I hear his name broadcast over the PA, I'm probably going to get off the plane, because I've been drunk with him enough times that it's just... | ||
| I dig that he's in charge of so many people's lives, I just don't know if we're there. | ||
| Did you see the picture of the plane that ran into a bird? | ||
| A commercial jet plane slammed into a bird, and it caved in the entire front of the plane? | ||
| No. | ||
| You didn't see it? | ||
| That's awesome, though. | ||
| Jamie, pull that up. | ||
| I mean, assuming everyone's okay. | ||
| Everyone lived, because it hit it perfect. | ||
| But if it hit the wing, I mean, you look at what it did to the front of the plane. | ||
| Like, if it just hit, you know, six feet to the left, six feet to the right, whatever... | ||
| It looked like people might have died. | ||
| Or if it landed through the windshield, it might have killed the pilot. | ||
| I mean, if you're hitting a Canadian goose, like one of those big fucking giant geese... | ||
| Then you're trying to land in the Hudson. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| That's a whole different... | ||
| Exactly, like that story, yeah. | ||
| So there's this place in Georgia, near me, where we shot, the same place with the helicopter, and they are the people that go and recover airplanes. | ||
| Look at that, there's the impact. | ||
| Holy cow, right? | ||
| Just boom, soft spot, right in there. | ||
| So when the plane went down the Hudson, these redneck dudes from Griffin, Georgia, were sent up there to get the plane. | ||
| It's floating in the water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Insurance companies pay them to go and recover these planes. | ||
| And they have to basically cut them up, get them on a train or a flatbed or whatever. | ||
| And so for Christmas, one of our executive producers for Top Gear, he was like showing me, oh, here's some stuff I got from Ronnie and my buddies back in Georgia. | ||
| And it was a tiny bottle of Jack Daniels that looked like it had mold growing on the outside. | ||
| And it was one of the bottles that was in the plane that went down on the Hudson. | ||
| And these guys recovered it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And that was his Christmas keepsake to his friends. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Wow, that's probably worth money. | ||
| I would think so. | ||
| Put that on eBay. | ||
| I mean, there's this cool old 50s looking plane. | ||
| I was like, oh, that looks neat. | ||
| They landed that, and the guy was like, oh, no, that plane hit the water in Panama City. | ||
| That guy died. | ||
| You couldn't have a more trite business unless maybe you were an undertaker. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Maybe a funeral service director? | ||
| I'm not sure. | ||
| But you have to basically go pick up crap after Bill Burr and his friends learn how to roll a helicopter that's going down safely. | ||
| Didn't Patrick Swayze crash drunk? | ||
| Wasn't that something that happened? | ||
| I believe Patrick Swayze, before he died, was boozing it up and flying around with his cancer. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| Not so happy with life. | ||
| Just going for it. | ||
| Just getting hammered and flying around. | ||
| I mean, he had cancer for quite a while and was flying planes. | ||
| And I think he crashed one of them. | ||
| Pretty sure he crashed one of them and walked away. | ||
| That dude's hardcore. | ||
| And was it Harrison Ford that just landed one on a golf course? | ||
| Yeah, he crash-landed somewhere. | ||
| Harrison Ford, apparently he got pretty banged up. | ||
| Like, that was a real crash. | ||
| Swayze suspected of drunk flying. | ||
| It was in 2000. Yeah, three men are facing misdemeanor charges in connection with Patrick Swayze's emergency landing earlier this month. | ||
| The men are accused of failing to tell authorities about how they allegedly helped the act to remove alcoholic beverages from his crashed plane. | ||
| He was doing it, man. | ||
| Hey, he's a fucking dirty dancing guy. | ||
| Come on, he's Roadhouse. | ||
| Let him, you know. | ||
| It's weird that, like, Patrick Swayze would wear stuff in those movies that, like, if our friends wore, we'd kind of make fun of. | ||
| But when Patrick Swayze wears, you're like, that guy can dance. | ||
| Only because you didn't know him. | ||
| If you got to know him... | ||
| After a while, you'd start mocking him, you know, if you were hanging around with him. | ||
| If you met Patrick Swayze and he was, like, dancing, you'd be like, hey, that's pretty cool. | ||
| And then, like, five minutes later, you'd be like, uh, do you do sports or just fucking dance around? | ||
| Can you play golf? | ||
| What is, uh, do you have friends? | ||
| Do you just dance? | ||
| What kind of friends are you hanging around with? | ||
| Like, on a Tuesday, you just dance? | ||
| Do you know Mikhail Baryshnikov or some shit? | ||
| Like, there's... | ||
| Roadhouse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Roadhouse. | |
| God, what a movie. | ||
| What was my man playing the guitar? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| The blind guy. | ||
| Oh yeah, that guy. | ||
| He was really good. | ||
| He was really good. | ||
| Whatever happened to that dude? | ||
| He got killed. | ||
| Did he really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Died. | ||
| I think he was in a car wreck. | ||
| He wasn't driving. | ||
| Fuck. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| As you know. | ||
| That's not a joke against blind people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That guy was really good. | |
| I asked the same question. | ||
| That guy was a really good musician. | ||
| He was great. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| He was in it. | ||
| I forgot he was in it. | ||
| And that's Sam. | ||
| Jeff Healy. | ||
| Jeff Healy. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| How did he die? | ||
| Find it for us. | ||
| This is the... | ||
| Can I get something like that that just goes with my places? | ||
| It's called Google. | ||
| Right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can do it yourself. | |
| It's so much more fun with someone else. | ||
| Like, you can continue your thought. | ||
| That's the benefit when you have a podcast. | ||
| Diet of cancer, endermen surgery, remove metastatic tissue from both lungs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, wow. | |
| And that's what, in Alabama, that's what we call a car wreck. | ||
| So, my bad. | ||
| I categorized that wrong. | ||
| Well, we were talking before the podcast, and we were talking about muscle cars, and we were talking about Mustangs, and Mustang people being weird. | ||
| Like, you're not the only one who's ever said that to me. | ||
| I haven't experienced this, except in high school. | ||
| When I was in high school, my auto shop teacher was a Mustang fanatic. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| The guy was nuts. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And he had all these old, shitty Mustangs that he had, like, put back together again. | ||
| And they were all, like, fucking... | ||
| He'd have students do the Bondo on them. | ||
| They're all, you know, look at them sideways. | ||
| It was like looking at a fucking ski slope. | ||
| Right. | ||
| They were just completely fucked up. | ||
| But he was weird, and he didn't like any other cars. | ||
| He was like, I like Mustangs. | ||
| Just hardcore. | ||
| Just all he wanted. | ||
| And he didn't even like the cool ones. | ||
| He had shitty hubcaps, and he never did them up nice, where they looked like something I would want, and I loved muscle cars. | ||
| But in his mind, they were the jam, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a Mustang or nothing. | ||
| That was his thing. | ||
| And to quantify it a tiny bit, you told me that you were kind of thinking about building a car and it's maybe a Chevelle or maybe a Mustang. | ||
| I think there's lots of... | ||
| If you look at the car world, man, there's so many different pockets of people and the stuff that they like. | ||
| And I was never a big Mustang guy. | ||
| I dig them. | ||
| I get why people love them. | ||
| But, like, let's pick the Fox body, right? | ||
| That's the 79 to 93, and they made a few changes in there. | ||
| Like, they had T-tops and a few of them. | ||
| Those are death. | ||
| Those cars were death. | ||
| They're just... | ||
| Shit. | ||
| They're in Vanilla Ice's number one song, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. | |
| With a rag top down so my hair can blow. | ||
| And I dig that, but that's what that car was like to me. | ||
| It was a very great representation of sort of like a redneck, mullet, late 80s, early 90s kind of style. | ||
| Well, on my show, Lawson Transmission, we had to take one. | ||
| I found it in my buddy's junkyard. | ||
| I needed an engine and transmission to try to make this AMC Eagle cool, right? | ||
| I couldn't keep the car all-wheel drive. | ||
| It was like a jacked-up, ugly 4x4. | ||
| I couldn't keep it all-wheel drive and have any amount of power. | ||
| So I said, all right, let's make it rear-wheel drive. | ||
| Let's make it something cool. | ||
| So I had to basically sacrifice this fox body. | ||
| And dude, people came out of the woodwork. | ||
| I don't know how active you are. | ||
| I know you are. | ||
| But sometimes when people try to get mad at you on Facebook, it's so much funnier to read. | ||
| And you're like, this guy was so pissed he forgot that English is a language. | ||
| Because it's just a hail of words, and he tried to call this one fox body rare, and I made fun of him, and then other people saw it. | ||
| Not in a mean way, I just poked back, but there's no fox body that's rare, number one. | ||
| Well, let's pull those pictures back up again, and let's all agree that these should all be put in a pile and nuked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right? | |
| These are awful, disgusting cars. | ||
| The worst representation of American muscle cars that have ever been built. | ||
| Look at that girl in the hood. | ||
| Even she's non-enthusiastic. | ||
| She's like this, I hate my boyfriend, Chaz. | ||
| I hate Chaz. | ||
| He's an asshole. | ||
| He makes me get on top of his shitty fucking car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get on this car. | |
| And you know, that's like an LX 5.0. | ||
| Might have been a four-cylinder. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Oh, look at the girl with the pink one. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You totally want to buy her some Boone's Farm. | ||
| Look at you, girl! | ||
| I like how they redid the back lights. | ||
| They got crafty with the fucking custom lights. | ||
| Yeah, the Eurotail, the Altezza style. | ||
| I mean, it was supposed to be a muscle car, and it had four lug wheels. | ||
| It was a disgusting car. | ||
| My buddy Kevin Chason had one when we were kids. | ||
| He had a 5.0. | ||
| I'm not saying you can't make them cool. | ||
| Oh yeah, I mean, they're kind of cool. | ||
| They're kind of cool. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| But they're not cool compared to the 60s Mustangs, and they're not cool compared to the new ones. | ||
| The new ones are fucking badass. | ||
| They're dope, right? | ||
| And really, they got better than what was the next one, the SN95, not to be a total dork. | ||
| I know codes and stuff I shouldn't. | ||
| You shouldn't. | ||
| They got cooler, right? | ||
| They got better. | ||
| They were kind of decent, and then in the 2000s, I had a 2010 Shelby GT500. That's a badass car. | ||
| It was a vicious car. | ||
| But it was, you know, live rear axle, the handling properties weren't the best, but it wasn't about that. | ||
| That car was about it could go sideways anytime you wanted it to. | ||
| It was like, anybody around? | ||
| No. | ||
| Hit it! | ||
| I would just go sideways around corners. | ||
| I mean, it was so easy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Just any time you wanted to, you'd just give it a little juice and it would just kick out the back for you. | ||
| And there's really only a handful of cars that you feel like when you see someone on the road, and you know, sometimes people, it's not that they're messing with you, they're just not bright enough to know how to be a good driver. | ||
| That's one of those cars you would always see a dude in a Mustang just be like, I've had enough of your crap. | ||
| I'm out. | ||
| I'm going to drop the hammer and I go. | ||
| So, like, I always like that about them. | ||
| But there's just certain cars that people that love them are sometimes just, they turn me off of the car. | ||
| Like, I always wanted an E46 M3, BMW, right? | ||
| That, to me, it's just such a great car out of the box. | ||
| But then when I would meet a lot of the people that would own them, I would decide I don't think I really want to own one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Well, I've heard that about Porsches, too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People have always said that about Porsches. | ||
| Magnus Walker is changing that for me. | ||
| Yes, he is. | ||
| Right? | ||
| How could that guy... | ||
| How could you not love Magnus, first off? | ||
| He's just a badass dude. | ||
| That just likes what he likes. | ||
| Well, he's also so enthusiastic about it that it's contagious. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| He loves those, like, 60 to 73. And now he's into some turbos now, some older turbo models. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Oh, he loves those 930s. | ||
| I mean, he's got a bunch of those. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think your buddies at Shark Works took him a newer one, like a 14, that he got to go beat around on. | ||
| And then suddenly he was like, maybe the new ones aren't so bad. | ||
| Well, he knows now. | ||
| Well, he had never experienced anything like the GT2. So what Alex did, Alex, my buddy from Sharkworks, took a GT2 from, I want to say it's 2010 maybe, somewhere around there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he made it 800 horsepower. | ||
| And it is the fucking scariest car I've ever driven in my life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, it's fucking terrifying. | ||
| Like, my GT3 has 518 horsepower. | ||
| That has almost 300 more horsepower. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's somewhere in the eights. | ||
| It's mind-bogglingly fast. | ||
| It's a fucking time machine. | ||
| And he let Magnus drive it, and he said, do with it whatever you would do if it was your own car. | ||
| So Magnus had it fucking painted. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But that's how cool Alex is, and that's how cool Magnus is. | ||
| They're both fanatics, so they just have this understanding with each other. | ||
| So this is what he did to it. | ||
| You can see it there. | ||
| He painted it. | ||
| I think it's ugly as fuck. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| You don't like that? | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| I love the gold wheel. | ||
| The gold wheels aren't bad, but the orange on the bumpers? | ||
| Like, why? | ||
| It has that very, like, German DTM kind of look to it. | ||
| Dog shit. | ||
| It's a great car. | ||
| It's such a beautiful design, though. | ||
| It doesn't need fucking gray stripes in the hood and orange bumper. | ||
| But whatever, it's not my car. | ||
| But the bottom line is, driving it, though? | ||
| What a goddamn experience! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh! | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| We took it up Angel's Crest. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That area. | ||
| And you can't drive it up. | ||
| It's too fast. | ||
| Every corner comes too quick. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's one of those cars that is, when the power comes on, it doesn't matter how they've tuned it. | ||
| Your foot is not a machine. | ||
| Your foot is like, hey, let's Let's do this! | ||
| So all of a sudden you think, maybe I'll shoot off this hill, or is this in the one... | ||
| Because you can't... | ||
| It's hard to drive that car in control no matter who you are. | ||
| Well, I never really thought... | ||
| I've never been in a car that had too much power before. | ||
| Where I drove it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I've always been like, whoa, this is fast. | ||
| Like, the Shelby GT500 was like 550 horsepower, a pretty light car. | ||
| I'm like, god damn, this thing is fast. | ||
| Ridiculously fast. | ||
| The GT3 is super fast, but that is in a different category. | ||
| It's mind-boggling how much power it has. | ||
| And when it kicks in, it just pins you to the chair. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoosh! | |
| Your heart starts, you're like, I'm gonna die. | ||
| This is physics. | ||
| You're like, I get it, James Dean. | ||
| I get you, man. | ||
| Feel it, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Feel it. | |
| On a highway, apparently, is even scarier. | ||
| They were saying on the highway, you just don't feel compelled to let off the gas, and so you look down, you're going 170 miles an hour on a 405, and you're like, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| Last season of Top Gear, we went to Germany. | ||
| We drove on the Nürburgring. | ||
| Have you ever been there? | ||
| No, what is that like? | ||
| Nürburgring is like being inside of a video game. | ||
| For folks who aren't car geeks, the Nürburgring is the track that everyone talks about when you talk about lap times. | ||
| Like, if you have a car that can do seven minutes 30 seconds or below on the Nurburgring, you've got a motherfucker of a car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's fast. | |
| It's a motherfucker. | ||
| The record is just under seven minutes, right, now? | ||
| So it's for the 12-minute course, right? | ||
| It's 14 if you run the whole thing, but the 12-minute course is just under seven for some unbelievably fast thing. | ||
| When we went there, Tanner's got a friend over there, right? | ||
| Tanner Faust. | ||
| Tanner Faust. | ||
| You, Adam Ferrara, and Tanner are the hosts of I love Top Gear USA. Adam said to tell you hi, by the way. | ||
| I love that dude. | ||
| Gosh, he loves you. | ||
| You guys. | ||
| I love that comedy, it's like one gigantic fraternity and sorority that everyone likes everyone unless you're that 1A hole. | ||
| There's a few of them. | ||
| We could go into that off the air. | ||
| I know it's a different thing. | ||
| We know about four guys that need to be killed. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| Everybody else, though. | ||
| They need to take them and climb into the body of those shitty old Mustangs and nuke them from orbit. | ||
| Just push them in there. | ||
| But Tanner's got a friend who is friends with the owner, the people that just bought it. | ||
| So they closed the Nurburgring for us. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| For three hours. | ||
| We had the track all to ourselves. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Dude, that's the most insane thing I've ever done in my life. | ||
| And I was in a 2014 Carrera S, 4S, so it's a non-turbo all-wheel drive, and it's a little over 300 horsepower, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's about four, I think. | ||
| Yeah, you're right. | ||
| It's about 400 horsepower. | ||
| You could kill yourself on that track in a Yugo, maybe on a bicycle, on a good downhill. | ||
| Every turn is a blind turn. | ||
| Every hill is a blind hill. | ||
| I hit 182 on the backstretch. | ||
| And then, like, on the way there, we were trying to hit the rev limiter on the Autobahn because people know how to drive on the interstate there. | ||
| It's the most amazing thing. | ||
| They get in the right-hand lane and they stay there until they need to use the left, and then they just haul out. | ||
| Unlike California. | ||
| Unlike anywhere. | ||
| California's the worst. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Everywhere I've lived, California's the worst when it comes to getting out of that left lane. | ||
| Nobody respects it. | ||
| They literally will slow down. | ||
| I'm going fast enough. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm just going to patrol this on my own. | ||
| I live in California. | ||
| I've always lived in California. | ||
| I don't know anything about small roads. | ||
| Because they kind of designed the roads out here for a bunch of cars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's no, like, when I first came here, one of the first things that I did, I drove down to, there's a place called Hard Times Billiards in Bellflower, California. | ||
| It's like a legendary pool hall. | ||
| And I drove down there, and you have to take the 405 to get down there. | ||
| I was like... | ||
| Look at this fucking road! | ||
| It's like seven lanes on each side. | ||
| I'm like, this is insane! | ||
| In Massachusetts, where I grew up, there's nothing like that. | ||
| They didn't exist. | ||
| They were like horse and buggy roads, and someone had put hard pavement over it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| You know? | ||
| Potholes everywhere. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The roads out here, it's the... | ||
| This is like the best car culture in the world, and the worst driving conditions for car people. | ||
| Certainly for traffic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's on... | |
| Dude, I don't... | ||
| 3 a.m., you guys can have traffic in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| Dead bumper to bumper. | ||
| For no real reason. | ||
| The real reason is people fuck, and they make babies, and then they move out here because they want to be famous. | ||
| Yeah, let's come out here. | ||
| I mean, don't get wrong. | ||
| If you go north, if you go south, I mean, there are some great roads to drive here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it'll take you six hours to go five miles to find them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'm so nervous going anywhere here. | ||
| I was five minutes away and just crapping my pants about if I could get here on time or not. | ||
| Yeah, it's a nerve-wracking place if you want to be punctual. | ||
| It's nutty. | ||
| That's for sure. | ||
| Let's go to the Nürburgring. | ||
| What was your time? | ||
| How fast did you get around it? | ||
| I think I was under 10 minutes for my first lap. | ||
| That's pretty goddamn good. | ||
| And they said, first time seeing the track, that's great. | ||
| You should feel really good about it. | ||
| Did you lose it at any point in time or did you get close? | ||
| Did you edge? | ||
| The carousel is the coolest feeling I've ever had because you dip in and there's graffiti everywhere, right? | ||
| Because they have these huge parties out there around the races and so you're seeing all this stuff and the car just dips in and you're hauling ass as hard as you can and then it just shoots you right out the other side and you keep going and you're like, I just did it. | ||
| So the carousel is like you're almost going sideways, like a bank? | ||
| Yes, it's a steep bank that just kind of pops in out of nowhere, and you just get in and you kind of just ride it. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| Dude, it's so awesome. | ||
| Fuck, it's so crazy! | ||
| And the whole time I kept thinking, what am I doing here? | ||
| Like, how did this happen? | ||
| How did this goofball kid from Atlanta end up on this show and they handed me a car and the keys to the Nürburgring? | ||
| To a German Porsche, a modern German Porsche. | ||
| It was insane. | ||
| And they do the coolest part about that road and that track. | ||
| On days when there aren't races, it's a toll road. | ||
| So you can pay $30 and go take a lap. | ||
| Really? | ||
| So there are guys like you and I who are there who either showed up with a 911, rented one, whatever, right? | ||
| So they're going out having fun. | ||
| You still have to use your blinker and you can only pass on the left, which is hilarious to me. | ||
| But there's also like grandmothers and families and tourists... | ||
| On the track at the same time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So you're just going to do it, but people are really going. | ||
| And so we're standing there. | ||
| We had just wrapped up, and I was like, if we've got five minutes, I just want to watch some cars. | ||
| You see this Mini Cooper come hauling ass around, right? | ||
| And this dude's just carving. | ||
| And there's a guy in an F430 Ferrari who's like, I can keep up with this son of a bitch. | ||
| And he punted that F430 into the wall. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh! | |
| One side and then drug it down past us. | ||
| Now because it's a toll road, they have to do an accident investigation. | ||
| The Mini's gone. | ||
| The Mini Cooper's checked out. | ||
| He didn't have anything to do with it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But I think he still felt bad. | ||
| So everybody that was on the track at that point has to exit. | ||
| And this team shows up and they do like an accident investigation because that guy's insurance would still be good on the track at that moment because it was a toll road. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| So how fast can you go? | ||
| I hit 183. And there's no speed limit? | ||
| No. | ||
| You could just go. | ||
| And I was not the fastest car we had. | ||
| What kind of fucking insurance do they have? | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Because you've heard of friends that are like, oh, I took this new car to the track, and then I paid a tow truck guy to drop it on the side of the 405 so I can call the insurance company and tell them I don't know what happened. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I was sitting here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I guess it just works out better. | ||
| But you can rent a race car there, either like a Peugeot or they have all these like little kind of import smaller race cars you can rent. | ||
| It says like rent a race car on the windshield and just go for it. | ||
| Well, if you get a Nissan GT-R, they have a speed limiter on it until you get to race courses and the GPS recognizes that you're at a race course. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| And it lets you just go fucking crazy. | ||
| Have you driven one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Such a great car for the money. | ||
| I rented one. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| Yes, I rented one in Austin, Texas. | ||
| If you go to, is it Hertz? | ||
| I think it's Hertz. | ||
| Hertz has some pretty ridiculous cars you can rent. | ||
| And if you want to pay, they'll let you run a GTR. I was like, what? | ||
| So the whole weekend, I was like, I was riding a ride everywhere. | ||
| Dude, I mean, for the supercar world, it's such a bargain, that car. | ||
| I mean, they're getting more expensive now. | ||
| They're somewhere around $100,000 now. | ||
| They were like $70,000 or something. | ||
| $89,000, I think, was when they first came out. | ||
| Yeah, and it was like fully loaded. | ||
| Now they keep adding a little bit more. | ||
| They're a little bit over 100 now, but the way they handle is like, it defies physics. | ||
| It doesn't feel like, like the GT3 handles amazing, but it makes sense. | ||
| That car does not make sense because there's all sorts of electronics going on. | ||
| It's four-wheel drive. | ||
| It's very heavy. | ||
| It's probably like eight or nine hundred pounds heavier than my GT3. It's like 3,900 pounds or something like that, I think. | ||
| I think it's a fairly heavy car. | ||
| And that's like part of their strategy in some sort of strange way, but it fucking works. | ||
| That is an ungodly fast ride. | ||
| And it's just hopping and go. | ||
| Tanner doesn't like it because it takes so much, he feels like, away from a driver at that skill level. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But you and I are in fact not Tanner Faust. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| So I don't feel like I feel that same way. | ||
| Well, one of my favorite episodes of your show was when he was racing with a motorcycle around all these industrial boxes and crates. | ||
| Oh, was he in a Corvette? | ||
| Yes, down in Long Beach. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh! | |
| Dude, that was nuts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dude. | |
| When you can watch someone drift an entire cloverleaf on-ramp. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I think the city of Long Beach tried to get mad at us afterwards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Because they saw all the stripes that we had done. | ||
| And you're like, no, you gave us permission. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| They were mad because there's rubber on the road? | ||
| Come on, that looks cool. | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| What are they, pussies? | ||
| I don't know what their deal is. | ||
| Nobody died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Fucking babies. | ||
| They called it a drift bike, right? | ||
| And he only had like three degrees of slip on it. | ||
| Still badass. | ||
| Here it is right here. | ||
| For the record. | ||
| Well, you just see how good a driver Tanner is in this video, especially with those shitty dogshit seats. | ||
| God, the seats in those fucking Corvettes. | ||
| Who the fuck allowed that? | ||
| That was such a glaring error on their part to make this incredible car, I mean a ridiculously fast car, and then give it these dogshit seats. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| I had a Z06 for about five minutes. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| Again, I'm not a Corvette guy. | ||
| You wouldn't see me get out of a car and think, that guy's got a Vette, because I don't have a gold chain. | ||
| I'm not wearing jean shorts. | ||
| Not wearing jean shorts. | ||
| Or jorts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jorts? | |
| Jorts, if you will. | ||
| They're very popular in Florida. | ||
| Is that something that they wear? | ||
| They do. | ||
| They do. | ||
| And it was Atomic Orange. | ||
| I got it from my friend Kevin in Chicago. | ||
| Gave me a killer deal on it. | ||
| And it was one of those cars that once you drove, once you got in that Z06, it was an 07 Atomic Orange. | ||
| Everything about Corvettes changed. | ||
| I mean, it's the same as that car. | ||
| It's just such... | ||
| It's a mean-ass car. | ||
| So fast. | ||
| So fast. | ||
| So fun. | ||
| And really well-balanced, too. | ||
| Those cars are shockingly well-balanced. | ||
| Because it's plastic and American and the seats are dogshit, you think, well, this is a fucking terrible car, but it's not. | ||
| If you took it somewhere and just had some really good bucket seats installed, the ride experience, and then the steering wheel's dogshit, too. | ||
| They had the Cavaliers. | ||
| Yeah, that was always my beef. | ||
| You could get the same radio in the Corvette that you could in the S10. That's just not how that's supposed to work. | ||
| No. | ||
| But they did fix that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, the C7 is like the C6, Z06, and a GTR had an illegitimate child. | ||
| And that's what they spit out. | ||
| They even made it better than anybody anticipated. | ||
| Like, the new Z06 is a motherfucker of a car. | ||
| I mean, it is a really incredible, incredible car. | ||
| And that's just them listening. | ||
| You know, which you gotta appreciate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thank goodness. | |
| Yeah, they listened, and they even engineered it, like, way better than the other ones. | ||
| I mean, the new Corvette, the C7 Corvette, is a marvelous car. | ||
| It's a marvel of engineering. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| I mean, there's not a car under half a million dollars that even compares to it. | ||
| You know, when they get that Z06? Yeah. | ||
| And they finally, they're like, yeah, let's do it. | ||
| Yeah, they finally figured it out. | ||
| The seats are perfect. | ||
| Like, everything's great in it. | ||
| Tanner's good. | ||
| He could drive his ass off. | ||
| Man, every time, we would go and do stuff, and people would say, like, why are you letting Tanner beat you? | ||
| And I'd just smile, like, what the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| I don't know if you noticed. | ||
| I was trying my ass off. | ||
| I'm actually not trying to let him beat me. | ||
| I think people don't truly understand the amount of skill and knowledge that's involved in driving a car like that. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Or when he took the GT2 around downtown LA at night. | ||
| How nutty was that? | ||
| They closed down some sections of downtown LA, and he had a really recent model GT2, which is just a stupendously fast car. | ||
| And he was driving it during the day, but it was too hot, because it's turbocharged, and it just didn't really have the juice. | ||
| The heat soak was getting crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So, he took it. | ||
| I mean, it was pretty fast, I'm sure, still. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| But not fast enough. | ||
| And that's like his, you know, that's his dream car right there. | ||
| He's got a 996? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| 996 turbo, yeah. | ||
| He bought it from, somebody had built it up. | ||
| It had like seven and change horsepower at the wheels. | ||
| And the guy put a really stiff clutch in there, thought he'd ruin the car. | ||
| Tanner bought it, drove it home from, I think he got it in Arizona. | ||
| Changed the clutch, took it, I think it's called BBI is the place. | ||
| He took it and changed the clutch, did a bunch of little tuning on it. | ||
| So it's six and change at the wheels now and that sucker is so stupid fast and just absolute screamer. | ||
| Well look how much better that looks in that disgusting Magnus Walker paint job. | ||
| That's the same car. | ||
| You're looking at the same car, but that car looks bitchin'. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| It doesn't look like some freak. | ||
| Carbon makes everything better, though. | ||
| Well, the carbon fiber hood's pretty wicked. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| It's just, it's an amazing car. | ||
| I had a GT, um, a 1996, rather, turbo, just like his, the same one, the 996 turbo, but mine was a hunk of shit. | ||
| Mine broke down five times. | ||
| It almost queered me off of, uh... | ||
| You allowed to say that? | ||
| I don't know if that's a... | ||
| Can you say it like that? | ||
| I didn't mean gay. | ||
| You know, like, I was like, ah, these are too weird. | ||
| They just break too much. | ||
| I mean queer as an odd. | ||
| Oh, sure. | ||
| I wouldn't say queered off. | ||
| I don't even know why I said that. | ||
| I don't think I've ever said that before. | ||
| But, um... | ||
| It's just butter coffee. | ||
| It's what it is. | ||
| It's in my blood. | ||
| But, um... | ||
| The car broke down five times, like catastrophic failures, like twice the shift linkage blew, where the clutch, like I go to put in the clutch and I move the gear and there's just nothing. | ||
| The gear shifter just spinning around in a circle, nothing connected to it. | ||
| One time it blew at a red light and it stuck in second gear, so I just revved it really high and I pulled out in second gear and I drove to the Porsche dealership in second gear. | ||
| And that was the second time they fixed it, so I was like, what in the fuck? | ||
| What's happening here? | ||
| Then they replaced the engine once. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| There was something wrong with the engine. | ||
| They didn't know what the fuck it was. | ||
| It was making weird noises. | ||
| They're like, we're going to replace the entire engine. | ||
| I'm like, okay. | ||
| Great. | ||
| Good. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| It's a fucking year-old car. | ||
| Replace the engine. | ||
| Burn the whole thing to the ground. | ||
| And then the gas gauge broke on the highway. | ||
| I had a half tank of gas, but I did not have a half tank of gas. | ||
| But she didn't. | ||
| And in the left lane on the 101 near the Hollywood Bowl, the motherfucker ran out of gas. | ||
| Oh man, that's the worst. | ||
| Yeah, it was a gearbox. | ||
| There you are on the side of the road and everyone knows you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Well, can I tell you a little secret? | ||
| I saw a good looking food truck. | ||
| About two minutes from here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were getting a little lunch beforehand. | ||
| I was like, oh, let's swing in there. | ||
| And I caught just enough of the curb with the tire that when the tire came off of it, the noise was so loud that I was like, okay, get back in. | ||
| Let's go. | ||
| We can't stop here. | ||
| I bought a car from Toyota Racing, loaned me a Lexus RCF. Beautiful car. | ||
| I'm not getting out at that point because then I'm that guy who you just don't need more of that in your life, turns out. | ||
| Don't be into cars, don't. | ||
| Especially if they're like, cue that guy from Top Gear! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey! | |
| Hey, you just fucked up that car, man! | ||
| I saw you hit that curb! | ||
| What happened? | ||
| There's nothing you can do about it, man. | ||
| You can just ride it out. | ||
| If you drive enough, you're gonna hit a fucking curb every now and again. | ||
| Here he is in downtown LA, going sideways around these regular streets in that GT2. So sick. | ||
| In the tunnels. | ||
| Yeah, people don't appreciate it, like, what it takes to drive like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They don't. | |
| You really have to know when to come in, when to go out, where the turn is, when to hit the gas. | ||
| There's like so much knowledge and experience that goes into driving a car like that, and the consequences are death. | ||
| There's not a lot of gray area. | ||
| Yeah, this isn't a video game you're getting good at. | ||
| You're driving a fucking 600 horsepower car that weighs a little bit over 3,000 pounds. | ||
| Have you ever gone and either watched or done any drifting? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh my gosh, you'd love it. | ||
| I'm sure I would. | ||
| It's just vehicular shenanigans in one place, right? | ||
| And that's why, like, I can drift, but my transitions suck, right? | ||
| Mine feel like I stole a car, whereas Tanner, like, you could hold a cup of coffee and never move it, because he's just so good on my man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Smooth. | |
| It's like when they come down to Long Beach or Irwindale, I think Irwindale is going to be a mall now or something. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yeah, finally. | ||
| They fought that for years. | ||
| But man, watching what those guys in Formula Drift can do is... | ||
| I mean, it's the stuff we did in parking lots in high school, right? | ||
| But now it's a sport. | ||
| And they're so good at it. | ||
| I did a lot of that in high school because we had snow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| Our drifting was snow-created. | ||
| I learned how to drive from driving in snow because when the ass end kicks out, it's like that's the skills you need. | ||
| It's really the same skills. | ||
| It's why we pray for snow in the South. | ||
| I've seen it snow like five times in my life. | ||
| And I bought some of the cars from Top Gear, so I don't know. | ||
| We built a 4x4 school bus. | ||
| It was jacked up on 44s with a snow plow. | ||
| I don't know if you ever saw it. | ||
| It had a flamethrower on the roof. | ||
| Well, I knew they were going to crush it and cut it up because they couldn't really sell it to the public. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I said, let me buy it. | ||
| I'll take it home. | ||
| Shipped it home to Georgia. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| So you owned that? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Got it. | ||
| Tagged. | ||
| What do you do with it? | ||
| Taking my daughters to school in it. | ||
| We're driving around for Halloween. | ||
| Do you really? | ||
| It still has a snow plow on the front. | ||
| And as you can imagine, it snowed once in the last 10 years in Georgia. | ||
| And we made the news because everybody got on the interstate at the exact same time. | ||
| So it melts the snow with the fire blaster? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Turns out there was a Celica under there. | ||
| There was a Toyota Celica under there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, we left a note. | ||
| It'll be fine. | ||
| It was in Maine. | ||
| That was in Caribou, Maine at the old... | ||
| The Air Force base that's right there. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And so there's... | ||
| Canada is just on the other side of that shot. | ||
| And this is one of those places where... | ||
| I think they called them Minutemen, where you had to be able to get from, like, where you were sleeping to an airplane in 60 seconds in case, like... | ||
| Cold War, yes, right. | ||
| So there's all these tunnels underneath where we were shooting, and we had to have all sorts of clearance to be out there. | ||
| It was awesome. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| And then I bought the bus. | ||
| How much did they sell that to you for? | ||
| I got a very good deal. | ||
| It cost more to ship at home. | ||
| It was a lot to ship it, I'm not going to lie. | ||
| Because you have to put it on a low boy, because no truck that delivers cars can get through. | ||
| You know, they have like 13 or 14 clearance getting across the country, so when it's already at like 12 feet, you have kind of a problem. | ||
| Did you think about driving it? | ||
| For about five seconds. | ||
| I mean, on 44-inch super swaffers, I can't imagine what the mileage would be. | ||
| Probably like two. | ||
| Yeah, two miles per gallon. | ||
| And there's 197,000 miles on it, and Tanner drove it and didn't kill it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ooh. | |
| It now says the magic school bus on the side. | ||
| I put a stereo in there. | ||
| It's really fun, but we gassed it up, got it ready for it to snow in January, and we didn't even get rain at my house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It's so defeating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| But snow, you're right. | ||
| Dude, snow driving is, I mean, that's just some of the best out there. | ||
| Parking lots and snow, that's what dreams are made of. | ||
| Yeah, that's where I learned how to drive in snow in a parking lot. | ||
| It's just, it's the best. | ||
| Yeah, because it's so gentle, the way you're going sideways. | ||
| It's like, it doesn't feel like, when you're going sideways on concrete, it feels very violent. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like... | |
| On paved surfaces, but if you go in the snow, it's like, whoo-hoo! | ||
| I remember this girlfriend that I had back in Boston. | ||
| I took the car that I had to a parking lot once, and for like an hour, all we did was gun it, and then I'd slam on the e-brake. | ||
| I'd turn the wheel and slam on the e-brake, and we'd spin around in circles, and we were just laughing and laughing. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| Nothing happens to the car. | ||
| The car's fine. | ||
| That's basically what drifting is. | ||
| Because you think about the beating your car takes on concrete when you do that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| All the friction. | ||
| And everything that's rubbing, but on snow, you just glide. | ||
| And there are ice-driving schools. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Tanner taught at one in Colorado for years. | ||
| So again, one of the reasons he's so good at what he does. | ||
| But it's basically like a little road course they have, and they wait for it to snow, and then they put a little water on it and ice it over, and you take BMWs out there and learn how to handle a car in the ice. | ||
| Like, what a great idea. | ||
| It's a great idea, and apparently it really translates. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| One of the things, I almost got a motorcycle a long time ago, but I saw a bunch of people crash. | ||
| I saw two crashes and a friend of mine saw somebody get hit. | ||
| Some guy who was at a red light and somebody was texting hit this dude and he went flying through the air. | ||
| And I was like, that's it. | ||
| Fuck that. | ||
| And my two friends that got hurt, they got hurt pretty bad. | ||
| But... | ||
| I was thinking about getting one and my friend said, who rode all his life, he said, get a dirt bike. | ||
| He said, get a dirt bike and learn how to drive in the dirt. | ||
| Because when you have that loose surface, you get used to the ass end kicking out on you and it becomes normal. | ||
| It becomes natural. | ||
| You won't panic. | ||
| So I think it's the same thing with snow and ice. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| It probably directly translates, driving on the ice. | ||
| I think so. | ||
| Because, again, it's all of that, you know, it's that overseer, all of those things that you would feel in a smooth, safe environment. | ||
| You would feel there. | ||
| Are these guys drifting? | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| God, look how close they are to each other. | ||
| It's Turk up front, Freddy Osbo's in the back. | ||
| You know who these people are? | ||
| Yeah, dude, I love this stuff. | ||
| This is my MMA right here for the record. | ||
| That's hilarious! | ||
| So he lives up in New Hampshire. | ||
| Freddy's from Sweden, I think. | ||
| But both of those cars, so those start out, Frederick Osbo, that's a front-wheel drive Scion TC converted to rear-wheel drive. | ||
| It's got a turbo four-cylinder in there. | ||
| Turk's car has a turbo Supra Swap in it. | ||
| Gigantic turbo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a FRS. So you take this really seriously. | |
| I just love it. | ||
| It's just the most fun you can have in a car. | ||
| But it's just going sideways. | ||
| It's basically, these guys, what they do is they have these clipping points, right? | ||
| And they try to get as close to the clipping point as they can. | ||
| It has to do with their speed of entry, the angle of the car, right? | ||
| And they've got this huge e-brake that they've got... | ||
| The brakes are as big for the rear wheels as they are for the front because they've got to clutch kick it and pull the e-brake. | ||
| So they're pulling it on the lever. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like that Ken Block Mustang video, which is amazing, that four-wheel drive Mustang video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do they call that? | |
| Hoonigan. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Love the Hoonigan guys, but they have a funny name for that. | ||
| The Hoonicorn. | ||
| Yes, that Mustang is such a bad mammer jammer, but what those guys do in that amount of precision... | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| Look at that fucking thing. | ||
| That's that car. | ||
| And so the e-brake is a big part of being able to do that, huh? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| The way they bring the car around. | ||
| So especially in drifting, those guys have to get as close to each other as they can while still keeping the line, trying to get as close to these different clipping points as they can. | ||
| So he's slamming on the e-brake to make these turns. | ||
| And the way these guys have to use the clutch at the same time they're using the e-brake to get it to slide without killing everything, and then they get back on it. | ||
| A guy like Vaughn Gettin Jr. who drifts a Mustang, he is full throttle the whole time and modulates just with the clutch. | ||
| And that's like next level stuff that I can't, I can only do 11 things at one time. | ||
| I can't add a 12th. | ||
| So when watching him go out there, Tanner has a, Tanner took a VW Passat, converted it to rear wheel drive and used a LS7 from a Z06. No, it's basically like the Chevy Copo Camaro engine. | ||
| That's a 600 horsepower engine, right? | ||
| Uh-huh, and then they tune it. | ||
| He's got nine. | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| He's got nine to the wheels out of Tanner's new car. | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| Wait a minute, nine to the wheels and what kind of car is it? | ||
| It looks like a Volkswagen Passat. | ||
| So, on the outside, it's a fucking shitty Volkswagen commuter car, and the inside, it has 900 horsepower to the wheels. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| It's badass. | ||
| That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. | ||
| I just wish Volkswagen would build something like a little bit like that. | ||
| It would make them much cooler. | ||
| Now, let me ask you this, because Mustang people are so weird, that Ken Block video. | ||
| Right. | ||
| What did they think about that car? | ||
| Because he took, was it a 65? | ||
| Yeah, I think it's a 65 or 66. And they basically had to stretch it and make it kind of fit. | ||
| And they turned it into a four-wheel drive. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Did everybody freak out? | ||
| They lose their fucking minds? | ||
| I think, I mean, that car made the cover of Hot Rod magazine, so it transcended, like... | ||
| People like me that love import cars and high horsepower, it was like, no, I'm just going to trump everyone with this ridiculous car. | ||
| So I think that's one of those ones that Ken also can kind of get away with stuff like that because... | ||
| He's Ken Block. | ||
| He's Ken Block, and he kind of just, like, you have to dig that he can do what he wants to do because he made it work. | ||
| But yeah, that's Tanner's facade. | ||
| What a ridiculous human being. | ||
| Right? | ||
| 900 horsepower V8 Volkswagen Passat. | ||
| It's an LSM. So he's racing in Daytona this week, and he does that Global Rallycross series, which is a lot of fun. | ||
| It's basically him and Ken Block and about 10 other people wrecking the crap out of each other. | ||
| There's not a single person out there that knows how to pass besides Tanner. | ||
| It's really fun to watch, but it's just... | ||
| It's insanity. | ||
| These cars are so... | ||
| I just don't understand why. | ||
| Like, why would you do that to an ugly car? | ||
| Like, I mean, why wouldn't he do that to a car that's like a really cool car? | ||
| Like, why do that to a Passat? | ||
| Because he's sponsored by Volkswagen. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So he races their stuff in GRC and then did some World Rallycross stuff with them. | ||
| But the coolest part is that he convinced them to let him do it. | ||
| Like, that's what I love. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I have a Scion XB at home, like the little boxy one, that the same people that built that car, Papadakis Racing, built this one. | ||
| And my buddy Johan used to own it. | ||
| It's converted to rear-wheel drive. | ||
| The back of the car thinks it's a Mark IV Supra, like complete subframe, just like Tanner's car. | ||
| And then it has a 2JZ Supra swap in there with a six-speed. | ||
| And Yo had a line lock put in. | ||
| If you look up DTA XB, you would find it. | ||
| Papadakis Racing? | ||
| Yeah, Stefan Papadakis. | ||
| What a great name, by the way. | ||
| Super guy. | ||
| Coolest nerd you'll ever meet. | ||
| He's like the doctor. | ||
| He's like the mad scientist up there. | ||
| But this XB has a line lock, so you can step on the brakes and hold the button, and it holds the front brakes, right? | ||
| So then you rev it up, drop the clutch, and it's a smoke show. | ||
| Out of a Scion that looks like a front-wheel drive car. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| That is so hilarious. | ||
| There's some really fun stuff out there, man. | ||
| If you make it to Atlanta, you gotta come drive it. | ||
| It's really fun. | ||
| I get it, but the cars are ugly. | ||
| That's what I don't understand. | ||
| Taking these ugly cars and turn them into these amazing driving vehicles. | ||
| Like, wouldn't you want to invest that same amount of energy into something that looks great? | ||
| Well, that's a fair point, Joe. | ||
| I hadn't really thought about it. | ||
| I mean, for me, when I saw this car in Super Street, I was like, oh, well, that's it. | ||
| Because for me, I've got three daughters, right? | ||
| So I can't have a 911 because that's a date night car. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Beyond that, I can't afford one. | ||
| But let's pretend for a second I can afford a 911. I still can't have one because I just don't need... | ||
| Just a car for me and my wife. | ||
| I want my girls to be able to come with me. | ||
| So that Scion, they can ride with me. | ||
| I can have three car seats in there. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And go a thousand miles an hour. | ||
| They're a tiny bit embarrassed by it because it sounds great. | ||
| It had Magnaflow do a nice custom exhaust when it was here. | ||
| It's got a great growl to it. | ||
| But when the boost starts to build, it's got this huge single turbo. | ||
| I mean, it'll pin you back. | ||
| I think it's like 425 to the rear wheels. | ||
| And a car is very light, right? | ||
| Maybe 3,000 pounds. | ||
| Maybe, right? | ||
| They cut a lot of stuff out to put that swap in. | ||
| Including anything safety-wise. | ||
| Well, the best part is... | ||
| That's a fucking bread... | ||
| That's a lunchbox. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You drive around in a lunchbox with wheels. | ||
| But it's got air conditioning, because I wanted my wife to ride in it with me. | ||
| So when I bought it out here, I took it to my friends at TRD, and I told the guy Chuck, I said, can you see, like, it looks like there's a vintage AC. Vintage Air is this company that makes, like, old hot rod kits, right? | ||
| So there was a control panel for a vintage air thing in there, and I said, can you check and see, like, if we could make it and have air conditioning? | ||
| He looked, he's like, yeah, I'm just going to bolt up a Supra AC compressor and charge it. | ||
| You'll be fine. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| 425 horsepower in a thing that looks like insane. | ||
| Well, companies like Vintage Air are so important because they made those old hot rods livable. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because if you drove in one of those old hot rods, most of them didn't have any AC, and if they did, it was a joke. | ||
| Yeah, it was not. | ||
| It was like the swamp cooler of what you put underneath. | ||
| But my wife will actually ride in stuff with me. | ||
| That makes a big difference, as you know. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I do understand. | ||
| That definitely makes a big difference. | ||
| What were you doing before you were hosting Top Gear? | ||
| So they found me. | ||
| They found you. | ||
| Is it like in the woods? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was a, you know, when a man and a woman, when they find each other. | |
| They found me, believe it or not, from YouTube, from a clip that somebody had loaded up, that I was traveling with the Speed Channel. | ||
| I started with them in 05 from a Craigslist ad. | ||
| Love Craigslist. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I'm the number one Craigslist fan. | ||
| I found this ad on there that this national motorsports company was looking for a marketing guy that could be an emcee, and so I sent all my stuff in, and it was one of those terrible interviews, I'm not going to get this job, and then two weeks later, they're like, hey, go down to Daytona, so you got the gig. | ||
| So I go down to Daytona, and I, like, kind of knew a little bit about NASCAR. You know, I knew Petty and Wallace, Earnhardt, but I didn't know much else besides that. | ||
| Went to school for marketing, so all of a sudden I want to be around cars. | ||
| That was always my plan. | ||
| So I started as a, like, DJ for this big speed stage that would go to all the races. | ||
| So I was out here at Fontana twice a year. | ||
| I was at all the other races. | ||
| And I kept begging them to let me do something on TV, and they finally let me a year later. | ||
| And then, I think a year after that, 07, John Schneider from the Dukes of Hazzard came to Atlanta Motor Speedway to be the Grand Marshal. | ||
| And they said, hey, would you do this little piece with this guy? | ||
| He does kind of lighter side of racing. | ||
| You guys do something. | ||
| We found a General Lee to borrow, and we shot this whole piece riding around in the General Lee. | ||
| And the whole time, I refused to call him John. | ||
| I would only refer to him as Bo. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And I kept being like, so, Bo, Daisy's not your real cousin. | ||
| Right? | ||
| He's like, no, that's an actress, Catherine Bach. | ||
| But so, like, if she was not your real cousin, like, you guys ever, you know, go to dinner or see a movie or... | ||
| And so he starts, and he's like, yeah, we're good friends. | ||
| Really enjoyed it. | ||
| And so a race fan, who I don't know who, loaded that clip onto YouTube illegally. | ||
| This guy, John Hessling, who's our executive producer, saw it in... | ||
| I don't know if he was here or still in the UK at that point. | ||
| And he was like, this kid might be funny. | ||
| He was looking at everybody that had been on TV for Cars in like the last 10 years. | ||
| And so the craziest part about my life is that this person who I don't know... | ||
| Who loaded this video up is the person that I feel like is the reason I got Top Gear. | ||
| Did you ever find that person? | ||
| No, I don't know who it is because the video got kicked off because it was copywritten. | ||
| Well, I guarantee you that person is going to find out that they got you that gig. | ||
| I hope so. | ||
| Somehow through the grapevine. | ||
| I want to take them to a race. | ||
| I want to do something. | ||
| I didn't have an agent. | ||
| I was in the phone book. | ||
| I was just a kid trying to hustle and trying to figure out how I'm going to make this TV thing work. | ||
| That's a great story. | ||
| Thanks, man. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I love Craigslist. | ||
| Yeah, I guess you should. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| I mean, it's a little... | ||
| Craigslist is like a little bit filthy. | ||
| They get a little dirty, but that's what human beings are all about, really. | ||
| Everything's got a little bit of turds on it on Craigslist. | ||
| A little bit of poop. | ||
| There's a little bit of... | ||
| Yeah, well, there's a lot of weird, you know, men seeking, women seeking men, seeking women seeking that. | ||
| If you're... | ||
| I'll be honest, that... | ||
| What is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Um... | |
| Missed Connections. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| That is this section of Craigslist where it's like, hey, saw you in the coffee shop. | ||
| You ordered the latte. | ||
| No way. | ||
| I had the muffin. | ||
| That's some of the best reading. | ||
| If you're bored or if you're a person that reads a lot when you're taking a dump, that is joy. | ||
| It's like people who've seen too many Tom Hanks movies and believe that they just missed out on the one. | ||
| They saw her order that pumpkin spice latte. | ||
| I love pumpkin spice lattes. | ||
| I knew it was her, and I just, I didn't have the courage, but now I do, and I need to find her! | ||
| I need to find her. | ||
| Honestly, you're going to have to look at these, because some of them are so, we forget, because you probably don't spend time with, like, my friends are just pretty normal people. | ||
| I don't spend time with people that are genuinely just out of their mind crazy, and that's an entire section for those people. | ||
| We had a guy like that on Fear Factor once. | ||
| He met a girl, I believe it was at a concert, and spoke to her briefly and wanted to win Fear Factor because he knew that she was the one and he needed to find her again. | ||
| Some insane amount of time and money going around the city and where he met her putting up flyers. | ||
| And so he put up all these flyers and all these people that contacted him that weren't that girl, you know, that were fucking with him. | ||
| And he was like super determined, but he had done it for like a couple of years. | ||
| And they thought it was funny when we first talked about having this guy on the show, like he's got a great story, you gotta hear the story. | ||
| So I heard the story, I go, dude, imagine if that was your fucking sister. | ||
| Imagine if that was your daughter. | ||
| Imagine if that was your girlfriend. | ||
| That's not a great story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I go, that guy's a fucking maniac. | ||
| He's nuts. | ||
| And, you know, who knows, like, where he's going to take it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, who knows if he's murder-suicidal, you know, it's... | ||
| And what if she just... | ||
| What if he said to her, like, hey, can I get a napkin? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| What if that was the entire conversation? | ||
| Well, it was a very brief conversation. | ||
| I forget the nature of the conversation, but it was extremely brief. | ||
| But I remember being really creeped out by him. | ||
| Really creeped out, like, when we had him on the show, because I... There was a lot of decision-making that went into getting on those shows that I didn't agree with. | ||
| A lot of people made it onto the show where I was like, fucking really? | ||
| You want to put this guy on TV? Are you out of your mind? | ||
| He's a crazy person. | ||
| There was a guy that I almost got into a fistfight with. | ||
| I had to restrain him. | ||
| And it was the same thing. | ||
| It was a guy who beat his girlfriend up on one TV show. | ||
| He threw her to the ground on a TV show and attacked some fucking guy on VH1. And then got in my face, and I was like, Jesus fucking Christ. | ||
| And I said to them, like, why are you putting these crazy fucks that you know are crazy fucks on TV? Like, do you understand that this is, like, irresponsible? | ||
| This is not a smart thing to do. | ||
| What did the producers say to that? | ||
| Um, they didn't give a fuck. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| They're trying to make money, and the way to make money is to have crazy people on TV. That's it. | ||
| You know, and my point of view was like, I had to host it, you know, and these people were kind of dangerous, and, you know, you're on rooftops with them and shit in downtown LA. It's, oh, it's 30 fucking stories up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's a lot of weird shit that could happen on those rooftops You know someone could push somebody somebody could jump and we had some like really nutty fucks that made it on that show but that guy that got the guy almost got in a fight with and that guy that was Trying to find that girl those they stood out like Jesus Christ because I looked in his eyes While I was talking to him, and there was nobody there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was just this mist of consciousness. | ||
| He was like a child in a man's body who thought he was in a movie and thought, you know, that he's just gonna keep going until he finds the right... | ||
| And as the show went on, you know, a couple days in, hanging out with this guy, you get deeper and deeper into who he really is, and he's creepier and creepier. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And weirder and weirder. | ||
| And then even the producers, by the third day, was like, we made a mistake. | ||
| We shouldn't have this guy on the show. | ||
| We're like, we only hope he never finds that girl, you know? | ||
| Can I ask, because I was such a big fan, what was news radio like? | ||
| Because when I watched that show and saw, I mean, what an amazing group of people you got to work with. | ||
| Like, that... | ||
| When you look back on that time, how does that rank? | ||
| Because you've done some really cool stuff, turns out. | ||
| Well, for sure, it fucked me up. | ||
| It queered me off of sitcoms forever. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'd never do another sitcom, because it would never be that good. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Because it was just so lucky. | ||
| And I had gotten to do a show before that for Fox that was terrible. | ||
| It was called Hardball. | ||
| It was a baseball sitcom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And it wasn't horrible because of the creators. | ||
| It was one of those situations where really funny guys who wrote with Married With Children, they wrote for The Simpsons, they created a show, and then the show became, once it went on television, they took it away from them, and then they brought in some hacks, and it just became, it was gross. | ||
| So that got canceled really quick. | ||
| So I went from that to news radio, which was the total opposite. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| The guy running the show is a genius. | ||
| The writers were fantastic. | ||
| The scripts were insanely funny and the people were so talented. | ||
| And I had no acting experience. | ||
| I had taken a few acting lessons because they forced me into taking it when they gave me this big development deal. | ||
| No way. | ||
| It was all based on stand-up. | ||
| And all of a sudden I'm out in Hollywood and I'm totally feel like a fraud. | ||
| I totally feel like I don't belong. | ||
| And I'm on the greatest sitcom of all time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was madness. | ||
| But one of the greatest things about it was that it never got any recognition. | ||
| So no one ever got a big head because no one ever got famous from it. | ||
| We barely survived every year. | ||
| And the one year that I thought that we weren't going to get canceled was the year we got canceled. | ||
| Because I was like, well, they didn't cancel us after Phil Hartman got murdered. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're probably not going to get canceled. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But then it just didn't work. | ||
| It just didn't work with John Lovitz. | ||
| It's not that Lovitz isn't funny. | ||
| It was fucked. | ||
| Right. | ||
| He was dead. | ||
| The whole thing was just... | ||
| Even though Andy Dick was still on the show, and Vicki Lewis, and Maura Tierney was still amazing, and Dave Foley was still... | ||
| It was like having Phil dead was always going to be a part of what was wrong. | ||
| It just didn't work. | ||
| It was just... | ||
| And that time was such a... | ||
| You know, it was... | ||
| It was a really interesting landscape for TV because there weren't a ton. | ||
| There's also like, if we look back at that time, I don't remember a lot of other shows that I really liked and could sit there because it was such a good ensemble of so many people that brought different things. | ||
| Whereas normally there's like, there's alpha male and then there's two other sort of people. | ||
| That was a fantastic mix of people. | ||
| It was a weirdo group. | ||
| It was a very weirdo group. | ||
| None of us, we were all outliers. | ||
| We were all weirdos. | ||
| Even Phil was a weirdo. | ||
| Dave Foley is as weird as it gets. | ||
| Andy Dick's the weirdest human that's ever walked the face of the planet. | ||
| I was weird. | ||
| I didn't belong. | ||
| No one belonged. | ||
| We all had some weird bond because of that, though. | ||
| We all felt like we didn't fit in. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And so, like, when we would do, like, we'd have guest stars that would be, like, real actors. | ||
| We'd be like, ew! | ||
| What's this method acting he's doing? | ||
| We would have guest stars, and they would, like, talk actor talk, like, industry talk. | ||
| Like, there's a way that actors talk. | ||
| They pick up this sort of acquired vernacular. | ||
| And one of the things that I say, when they meet someone, they never say, hey, nice to meet you. | ||
| Like, you did, and I do normal stuff. | ||
| They say, good to see you. | ||
| Because they're hoping that they didn't meet you and forget you, because they don't give a fuck about you. | ||
| They're concentrating on themselves wholly and exclusively. | ||
| So to mitigate that, what they do is they say, good to see you. | ||
| So it becomes this thing that they all say. | ||
| So when you meet someone and they say, good to see you, and they're an actor, fucking run. | ||
| Because they've adopted this actor think, and they would read what I would call the devil's rag, like the Hollywood Reporter. | ||
| They would read that shit and get angry. | ||
| God, how does he have a show? | ||
| God, how does she have a show? | ||
| And that shit would happen when we have guest stars who do that, and we would be like, So it was a weird combination of a bunch of people that were just weirdos. | ||
| They didn't fit the mold of a standard sitcom. | ||
| And no one went on to do a sitcom since. | ||
| None of them. | ||
| I didn't think about that. | ||
| You're right, though. | ||
| No one did. | ||
| Vicki did one for a little bit. | ||
| That didn't work out. | ||
| Steven Root went on to do amazing work in Office Space, and he was fantastic in that fucking HBO... What is that? | ||
| The HBO documentary... | ||
| The HBO show... | ||
| What the fuck is a show with... | ||
| About liquor, about bootleg liquor sales? | ||
| Boardwalk Empire? | ||
| Yeah, Boardwalk Empire. | ||
| He was amazing in that. | ||
| I mean, he's just a fucking brilliant actor. | ||
| He was the one guy that wasn't himself on the show, too. | ||
| Like, what they would do is they take the wackiest shit about, like, Andy and exaggerate it. | ||
| The wackiest shit about me and exaggerate it. | ||
| But Stephen Root, like, if you met him, he's nothing like Jimmy James. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Jimmy James is this wacky character that he developed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But he's just a brilliant, brilliant actor. | ||
| You know, just to the bone. | ||
| I was listening to you one day, and you were talking about the difference, and I'm sorry, I can't remember if it was stand-up that I was watching you, or the podcast, but you were talking about the difference between comedians and actors, and how, essentially, actors have to get up every day and pretend to be someone else. | ||
| They never really, like, they don't know who they are, whereas comedians, like, know who they are, and that's what they talk about. | ||
| But even in my limited experience in that town, I'm really lucky. | ||
| I don't ever have to wake up and wonder who to be. | ||
| I can't imagine what that's truly like to dive into someone so much that you essentially get paid to lose yourself each time, and then you have to move on and do it again. | ||
| That's a lot harder, I think, that people know. | ||
| Well, Steven Brute, who's the one guy who did that on the show, he doesn't have any problems knowing who he is. | ||
| He's a really nice guy. | ||
| Super easy to like. | ||
| You get to know him. | ||
| He's like very warm and friendly like easygoing guy and he just loves the craft of Creating a character like it's he has the most pure Intention out of any actor person I've ever met like his his love is really of creating You know that Steve Buscemi character that you remember from that movie that you know that Russell Crowe character they like fuck he nailed it, you know like that He just loves nailing a character. | ||
| I mean that's He's just a master actor. | ||
| He's just a master at that. | ||
| And there's a difference between those people and the people that just want to be famous, and they want to be famous as an actor. | ||
| So there's a lot of weirdness in that craft. | ||
| There's a giant percentage of the people that want to do it are massively damaged people. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Which is why they feel like they should be famous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It's like they got fucked over when they were children or when they were, you know, adolescents or whatever the fuck happened to them that led them to have this insatiable desire to be thought of as special. | ||
| And once they get it, that's when they become maniacs. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, everybody's heard the story of the person who's got their own sitcom, and then they become maniacs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| I mean, I've met them, I've seen them, you know, I've talked to them. | ||
| I had Roseanne on, and she was telling me about how fucking crazy she went when she got a sitcom. | ||
| You know, she was like, I was fucking crazy, completely crazy. | ||
| Like, she would tell you. | ||
| And she was a great stand-up comic, in my opinion, like, one of the top ten greatest of all time. | ||
| Like, Roseanne's in my, as far as, like, revolutionary, influential stand-ups, I think, for... | ||
| For her time. | ||
| Like, she's a top ten. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And she went crazy. | ||
| They all go crazy. | ||
| And she seems totally chill now. | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And I don't know if that's just perspective over time or what, but... | ||
| I think it's that. | ||
| She got rid of Tom Arnold. | ||
| That helped. | ||
| That poor guy. | ||
| He is crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck him. | |
| Every side of him, right? | ||
| You know why he married her. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I don't mean that. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I just mean, like, I feel like that's one of those guys, if you watched, like, 12 hours of just his life, you'd be like, shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That dude's crazy. | ||
| I met him. | ||
| I did that Best Damn Sports show when he was on. | ||
| He's a nice guy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, you know, he took his shot. | ||
| He had to do what he had to do. | ||
| Married Roseanne. | ||
| Did what he had to do. | ||
| And then it didn't work out. | ||
| It's weird, man. | ||
| Some days my wife will be like, hey, can we hang this painting? | ||
| And I'm like, uh... | ||
| Probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like... | |
| Man, are the kids going to bed early? | ||
| It's a different negotiation, I think, when you're married. | ||
| But his was like, you might have to marry Roseanne Barr to have a career. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's just, I'm saying she's lovely. | ||
| That's just a different kind of negotiation for the record. | ||
| Yeah, he sold his soul. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| He did, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't want to say that. | |
| You will trade sex for hanging up the painting. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You'll make a deal. | ||
| Or just housework. | ||
| Just what you gotta do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I get it. | |
| I get it. | ||
| That's a good move. | ||
| But that's like everybody wins. | ||
| It's like nobody got hurt there. | ||
| You marry someone you love. | ||
| Everybody's happy. | ||
| He sold a soul. | ||
| But he got out of it. | ||
| He's alive. | ||
| Do you get a refund on your soul? | ||
| Like, what do you think happens at that point? | ||
| Or do you feel like once it's gone? | ||
| You will always be Mrs. Roseanne, Tom Arnold. | ||
| The devil, he has a very fucking steep price that he puts on everything. | ||
| It's a big, big number out here, man. | ||
| I mean, she's a super talented woman, but she was 300 pounds, and, you know, he did what he had to do. | ||
| What do you think... | ||
| What was her husband on that show? | ||
|
unidentified
|
John... | |
| John Goodman? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| One of those guys that I watch, and I just... | ||
| I can't... | ||
| From Big Dan Teague in Oh Brother Where Art Thou, to just anything he does, he's one of those people I watch and go... | ||
| How about the Big Lebowski? | ||
| Right? | ||
| That fucking character from the Big Lebowski that wasn't even Jewish. | ||
| You're not even Jewish, man. | ||
| Shomer Shammus! | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Did you find out he wasn't Jewish? | ||
| I don't turn on the TV. | ||
| I don't turn on the stove. | ||
| And I sure as shit... | ||
| Don't fucking roll. | ||
| And he had the fucking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shomer Shammus. | |
| He had the gun he would pull out when someone would violate bowling rules. | ||
| Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! | |
| What a great... | ||
| What a fucking character. | ||
| Look at there he is! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just... | |
| Oh, I love him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just tremendous. | |
| He's amazing, man. | ||
| I can get you towed by 3 o'clock with nail polish. | ||
| Like, what? | ||
| How do you channel? | ||
| I'm finishing my coffee. | ||
| It was just conviction of that being that crazy. | ||
| Well, I mean, he just created a... | ||
| Well, first of all, Coen Brothers movies are my all-time favorite movies. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Like, when I saw Donald Trump was running for president the other day, I said, we live in a Coen Brothers movie. | ||
| It's official. | ||
| Seriously? | ||
| His fucking slob, this goofy slob is going to run his ego just pouring out of his ears. | ||
| Have you ever met him? | ||
| No. | ||
| Weird dude. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| We met him, we did something on Top Gear where we were trying to convince him to pick one of these cars that we had each picked for this celebrity and we found out halfway through it was for Donald Trump. | ||
| And he basically was like, this guy looks gay. | ||
| He's looking at Tanner. | ||
| He's like, I think this car, you look gay, so the car is probably for a gay person. | ||
| And whatever Tanner, I don't remember what kind of car he had picked, but Tanner's like, what? | ||
| Did you tell Donald Trump to make fun of me? | ||
| That I look like I'm a... | ||
| That's just what he does? | ||
| He just went for it, and then he was like, Adam, I'll take yours. | ||
| Was he trying to be funny? | ||
| I think he was, but he's one of those people that I don't think he can hear other people. | ||
| I think maybe he can read lips a tiny bit, but he walks into the room, and all you do is you look at his hair, man. | ||
| You can't... | ||
| There is nothing... | ||
| An asteroid could have hit the Earth next door, and you'd still be like, man... | ||
| What's going on up there? | ||
| How do you do that? | ||
| Like, how do you get up every day and you say, yeah, this is the look? | ||
| Well, you know what weirds me out? | ||
| Here's you and him. | ||
| What weirds me out is it's not like he's going bald. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think he just moves it around in some weird way, or doesn't want to cut it, or it's his signature look. | ||
| But it seems like there's too much hair up there for him to be going bald. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| Well, you've been there in real life, so what... | ||
| You can't see through it. | ||
| Do you remember the hair spray that looked like hair follicles? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| I don't know if it's like, that's in there. | ||
| It's not a rug. | ||
| It's... | ||
| It's not a good look. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| God, you can't take your eyes off of it. | ||
| I just don't understand. | ||
| I mean, he can't think it looks good. | ||
| Dude's kind of weird because New York doesn't actually like him that much. | ||
| Nobody likes him. | ||
| Right? | ||
| How could you like him? | ||
| He's a dick. | ||
| He puts his face on everything. | ||
| But he's so aggressive with his dickiness. | ||
| I remember he had this feud with... | ||
| What the fuck's her name? | ||
| Who was it with? | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Oh, with Rosie O'Donnell. | ||
| That's who it was. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| He had this feud with Rosie O'Donnell, and he was on, you know, TV. He's like, well, Rosie's a loser. | ||
| Basically, she's a loser. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Let's think about who's listening to this. | ||
| You're talking about a multi-millionaire, movie star, world-famous comedian. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you're talking, and a camera's on you, and it's broadcasting to the rest of the world, and you're saying this multi-millionaire, world-famous comedian is, in fact, a loser. | ||
| Well, what are we? | ||
| Right. | ||
| What the fuck am I? What am I if she's a loser? | ||
| What standards do you have? | ||
| How do you feel about yourself? | ||
| Right. | ||
| This is just nonsense. | ||
| That guy needs mushrooms in his life in a bad way. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| He needs to get in a tent in the middle of the desert and eat a fucking giant bag of mushrooms and really find out how the rest of the world sees him. | ||
| Just sweat it out. | ||
| Ridiculous. | ||
| I think he needs to go to a Sears and pick out a washer and dryer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
A seer. | |
| On like a Thursday night. | ||
| Like I think he may be a normal person. | ||
| Maybe just feel like what life is kind of like. | ||
| But like those are the kind of people that I see. | ||
| And like his wife, Malia? | ||
| Malaria? | ||
| Malaria? | ||
| Something with an M. Whatever her name is. | ||
| Larium. | ||
| That's one of those girls that I would look at her and then look at him and think, there's no way you guys have ever had a conversation, right? | ||
| No, you look at her, you look at him, and you go, do you know who Tom Arnold is? | ||
| He did what you're doing, but he did it with a woman. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I see what you're doing. | ||
| I get you. | ||
| It's all right. | ||
| Hey, look, it's better that than working at Wendy's. | ||
| If these are your odds, what do you want to do? | ||
| Suck Donald Trump's dick or get a lot of money? | ||
| Do you get free Frosties? | ||
| Jesus Christ, son, you did well. | ||
| You did well, Donald. | ||
| I gotta give you that with your wacky hair. | ||
| If you're into that, it's... | ||
| If you're into what? | ||
| Tens? | ||
| Yeah, who's into that? | ||
| Who's into hot chicks that keep their mouth shut? | ||
| I was really thinking for her. | ||
| Like, if you're really into... | ||
| Oh, she's not into that. | ||
| I know. | ||
| No, but she's probably pilled up. | ||
| She probably just, like, stays on a steady Oxycontin drip throughout the entire day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Just stays mellow and weird. | ||
| Look at that gelatinous facial thing he's got going on, too, where his chin just rolls into his neck. | ||
| The color is really interesting in that hair, too. | ||
| I'm telling you, I hope you meet him. | ||
| You don't think it's real. | ||
| I hope not necessarily that you meet him, but just that in your life you end up in the same room and just test my theory. | ||
| Honestly, I couldn't look away. | ||
| Well, the moment, if I did meet him, the moment he gets dicky, I go, I will grab your fucking hair. | ||
| I will get my hand in there and I will find out what's going on. | ||
| So you might want to shut the fuck up. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| You going to beat me up? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You going to call security? | ||
| I bet I get your hair before security gets here. | ||
| I bet I get to your fucking hair, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shh! | |
| Don't get dicky with me. | ||
| Just lean in. | ||
| I'm going to touch your hair. | ||
| At the later stages of my life or where I'm at, I don't have any patience for people like that. | ||
| I just don't have any desire. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| You know, that's the reason why he's so successful. | ||
| You don't get to be a super fucking billionaire real estate mogul who has his name on every building. | ||
| The Trump Towers! | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't get that unless you have that sort of an attitude, so I guess I understand. | ||
| Stay there. | ||
| History put us up there once for the upfronts, and I opened the little mini bar, and his face was on the vodka. | ||
| For me, I was like, this feels like too much, bro. | ||
| I feel like you gotta draw a line somewhere. | ||
| Your face is on the soap. | ||
| Or you just go for it. | ||
| Or just go for it. | ||
| If you just keep going, the further and deeper you go into the crazy ego swimming pool, it becomes warmer water. | ||
| It gets better. | ||
| He can be like the Walt Disney of total douchebag real estate vogels. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Yes, he's on the water. | ||
| It was... | ||
| It felt like Disney World. | ||
| I couldn't escape his face. | ||
| He's got steaks. | ||
| Trump's steaks. | ||
| Look above that, Jamie. | ||
| I think those are made from manatees. | ||
| In endangered species, mainly. | ||
| They're polar bear steaks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, right? | |
| Right when they get sad about the fucking icebergs melting, they shoot them in the fucking head and cut them up, drag them down to New York. | ||
| Do you think he's ever had a hot dog from a hot dog cart in New York? | ||
| Yeah, I'm sure he has. | ||
| I mean, all bullshit aside, he went fairly bankrupt and then built it right back up again. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| I mean, he really did. | ||
| He hit a point in our lifetime where he, like, basically was worth what we're worth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know? | ||
| He went down to, like, almost nothing. | ||
| And then he just shot right back up to being that guy again. | ||
| It was like one week where he thought, can I go to the grocery store or do I need to wait a couple days before I go? | ||
| And then he was like, okay. | ||
| I'm going to be a millionaire. | ||
| I think he never stopped being a millionaire, I think, but it got down to like a million. | ||
| But he might have had a lot of debt, too. | ||
| I forget what the entire story was, but there was a story that I read in one of those magazines, Esquire in New York or something like that, and they were essentially saying that what he's doing right now is pretending that he's rich, and that if you look at the amount of debt that he had, but... | ||
| He knew how to get rich. | ||
| I mean, a guy like that knows what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| And I always wondered, like, to be a Michael Jordan, don't you have to be kind of crazy, you know, to be that goddamn good at basketball? | ||
| And to be that fucking deal-making son of a bitch, don't you have to be a real asshole in some ways? | ||
| I think you have to trade in, like, Okay, look, he claimed his network was $9 billion, we figure it's close to $4 billion, $4.1 billion to be exact. | ||
| But this is recently now, right? | ||
| This is yesterday. | ||
| Yeah, but this is like, look, even if he's worth $4 billion or $9 billion, who gives a fuck? | ||
| He's a goddamn billionaire. | ||
| You know, he wasn't a while ago, at one point in time. | ||
| I want to say, like... | ||
| Maybe 15 years ago, maybe 20, something like that, he had hit a really bad spot, and there was an issue with him opening up golf courses, like some golf course in Scotland, and this one guy was fighting it. | ||
| This one guy, he had land that was outside of the golf course, and they wanted to buy him out, and he wouldn't sell, and it became this huge issue where Donald Trump's like, this guy's a loser, he won't sell me his property, and the guy's like, I don't give a fuck about him, this is my house, this is where I live. | ||
| I got sheep, man. | ||
| Leave me alone. | ||
| But it was a fascinating thing. | ||
| It's like this insane pursuit of just ungodly wealth, and that's what he does. | ||
| That's his thing, and now he's going to run for president. | ||
| It's weird, man. | ||
| I'm all about keeping lights on, but sometimes you watch those people that don't know what... | ||
| There has to be this good balance of work and hustle and drive and enjoyment. | ||
| If you're just doing stuff all the time and you can't find anything good out of life, you should probably just check up a little bit. | ||
| I don't know the dude. | ||
| Maybe he does find good out of life. | ||
| They asked me to be on that Celebrity Apprentice thing. | ||
| I thought about it for a second. | ||
| Oh, that would have been great, man. | ||
| I'm not into that, man. | ||
| I just don't like those shows. | ||
| I don't like those fake scenarios. | ||
| I don't like any of that. | ||
| It just didn't seem appealing to me. | ||
| And it wasn't a fuckload of money. | ||
| It wasn't enough money where I was like, hmm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| But also, I don't enjoy those kind of shows. | ||
| Does that mean you would dance with the stars, or you wouldn't? | ||
| No fucking chance. | ||
| Not a chance in hell. | ||
| That's hard, by the way. | ||
| I did a part in that movie Zookeeper, and I had to learn how to dance. | ||
| Me and Leslie Bibb, we did this dance scene where I had to learn how to dance for fucking weeks. | ||
| I had to take dance lessons. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Fuck this! | ||
| You know, and they were like, you should totally do Dancing with the Stars. | ||
| Like, fuck you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm not doing it. | |
| No. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| No chance. | ||
| And now it's not even Dancing with the Stars. | ||
| It's like dancing with the used-to-be stars like a long time ago. | ||
| Dancing with the internet sensations. | ||
| Dancing with the people you kind of know who they are. | ||
| Like, or dancing with the people who someone out there knows. | ||
| The Bachelor guy was just on there. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't have a nice way. | ||
| He was from Iowa. | ||
| Those are the people that I'm proud. | ||
| Like when I go to the supermarket and I see Us Weekly and I look at the cover. | ||
| What I love is when I look at the cover, I don't know anybody. | ||
| I'm like, good, I don't know who the fuck any of these people are. | ||
| You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| Oh, Dominic is mad at Deborah. | ||
| Who the fuck is Deborah? | ||
| Who's Dominic? | ||
| What are they talking about? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good. | |
| I'm glad I don't know. | ||
| I'm glad I'm out of that cultural loop. | ||
| It's strange, man. | ||
| I'm not sure why... | ||
| I'm sure you think about this all the time. | ||
| I'm just not sure why people care about... | ||
| Some of the people that we do... | ||
| It's not really that we care. | ||
| It's that they broadcast people. | ||
| This is what I... I've thought about this long and hard for a long time. | ||
| When you have something like television, and it's something that is just a natural thing that people come home, they turn it on, and they sit there and they veg out. | ||
| I have children, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And, you know, like, if I want my kids to chill for a second and just, like, sit down, like, if I need to do something, look, daddy has to make a business call, so I'm gonna put on one episode of a show. | ||
| What show do you want to watch? | ||
| And then they'll sit down. | ||
| They fucking zombie out. | ||
| Right. | ||
| For that 20 minutes, or 22 minutes, whatever the show's on, their jaws open up and they sit there, I want a drink. | ||
| Okay, get a drink. | ||
| Here's your drink. | ||
| Here's your chip. | ||
| You want some chips? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, here's your snack. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You want a cheese stick? | |
| Okay, I'll be right over here if you need me. | ||
| And I know they're not going anywhere. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But there's something that happens when people watch TV. They just lock in. | ||
| Well, if you get used to that thing being on, well, you'll watch almost anything. | ||
| And that's how Keeping Up With The Kardashians is still on the air. | ||
| Because people sit down there and they watch. | ||
| They just sit there. | ||
| I was going to buy this purse, but then I couldn't find it. | ||
| And I was like, oh my god, this is so annoying. | ||
| And I'm watching it! | ||
| I'm watching it! | ||
| I'll be in a hotel room when it comes on, and if they edit it quick enough, where it's like one scene to the next scene, one scene to the next scene, like I'm watching a little ping pong match with my eyeballs, for whatever reason, I lock in. | ||
| I know their names. | ||
| I know their names. | ||
| I know the wife. | ||
| I look at the poor Bruce Jenner bastard before he became a woman. | ||
| I know about all those people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| For no reason. | ||
| Right. | ||
| There's not a goddamn thing they've ever said that has been interesting to me. | ||
| It's not a content thing. | ||
| It's not a quality thing. | ||
| They're engaging. | ||
| They have these amazing points. | ||
| They're very unique individuals. | ||
| No, there's none of that. | ||
| There's none of that. | ||
| There's a show I really love. | ||
| It's called Life Below Zero. | ||
| You ever seen that show? | ||
| No, I feel like I've heard of that. | ||
| It's all these crazy fucks that live north of the Arctic Circle. | ||
| They live subsistence living. | ||
| There's this one woman that we had on the show named Sue Akins, and she lives 200 fucking miles plus above the Arctic Circle in this place where you're not allowed to have permanent structure. | ||
| So she has tents that she built up there. | ||
| And, like, these covered, you know, circular tents. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It snows like a fuck. | ||
| There's wolves everywhere. | ||
| She was attacked by a grizzly bear, okay, broken her hip, bit into her skull, broke her leg. | ||
| She went back, shot the bear, and ate it. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| That's a person I'm interested in seeing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That bitch is gangster as fuck. | ||
| She lives- She's crazy. | ||
| She's crazy, but she's awesome. | ||
| She's a really- It's really unique, like, when I had her on the show, sitting and talking to her, because she's so personable. | ||
| You had her here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| So she knows there are other places in the world she could live. | ||
| She likes it up there. | ||
| She really does. | ||
| I mean, I just think people like weird shit. | ||
| Some people like living in Florida. | ||
| They like it. | ||
| They like Florida. | ||
| Great point. | ||
| You know? | ||
| They just decide, like, I'm staying here. | ||
| She loves it up there. | ||
| She loves the solitude. | ||
| She loves the fact that she has to rely on herself. | ||
| But she's a unique human. | ||
| She has a very unique perspective. | ||
| She's very intelligent, and she's very strong and independent. | ||
| And so that's a person that I want to hear talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| She's just unique. | ||
| I don't get any of that from, oh, we went there, and oh my god, this is so annoying. | ||
| The air conditioning was not working properly. | ||
| And those are not my favorite shoes. | ||
| You're watching nonsense. | ||
| But as long as that nonsense is on television, a certain amount of people will watch nonsense. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Nonsense in the environment of dating is always exciting to people. | ||
| Like, who's hooking up with who? | ||
| Is he gonna be with her? | ||
| Or is he gonna be with her? | ||
| Is she gonna feel rejected? | ||
| Or is he gonna feel rejected? | ||
| Or is she gonna reject him, but then he rejects her? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| It's amazing. | ||
| There's suffering. | ||
| There's panic. | ||
| People are freaking out right now because it came out that I guess whoever the current Bachelorette is might have slept with a bunch of the guys. | ||
| Wait a minute, a woman has sex with a man? | ||
| I've been telling my wife for years. | ||
| I was like, you know everybody on that show is hooking up. | ||
| And she's like, no, it's not. | ||
| It's not like that. | ||
| One of our directors on Top Gear, this guy Gary, was one of the directors for the first couple seasons of The Bachelor, he said, dude, there's a vault with footage. | ||
| There's a camera everywhere. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And we feed these people tons of alcohol and hardly any food. | ||
| There's video of everybody humping. | ||
| Like, there's just a whole closet full of weird videos of these people hooking up. | ||
| Find out who Caitlyn sleeps with and the surprising motivation. | ||
| No, I don't want to find out. | ||
| Click that fucking tab. | ||
| You shut that tab off. | ||
| I don't want to ever see that again. | ||
| You keep that out of my life, Jamie. | ||
| You may want to clear out the Google history, just to double... | ||
| Just clear your history, Jamie! | ||
| This is enough! | ||
| I can't do it! | ||
| I won't! | ||
| I miss the days of... | ||
| You remember The Real World on MTV? That was like people's first sort of look at like, well, I guess if people just sit around and drink all day, they might get into fights about something that's seemingly important. | ||
| Well, just as a bit of history, the guy who produced The Real World was the producer of Fear Factor. | ||
| Matt Kunitz. | ||
| I did not know that. | ||
| Yeah, Matt Kunitz. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Boy, I bet he's awesome. | ||
| He was the guy that forced the people into drinking cum on Fear Factor. | ||
| Was it from a horse or something? | ||
| Donkey. | ||
| I'm sure it was his idea. | ||
| He laughed at me when I told him you shouldn't do it. | ||
| I'm like, you shouldn't have people drink cum. | ||
| He's laughing. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| They're gonna do it. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| Don't fucking do it. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| I gotta be honest. | ||
| I didn't watch a ton of the show because I was just against it. | ||
| Like, why would you eat, like, horses' anus? | ||
| I'm gonna be honest with you. | ||
| I didn't watch it either. | ||
| I watched it maybe three times, the entire fucking 148 episodes. | ||
| I enjoyed some of the physical things that people would have to do. | ||
| I get why those were cool. | ||
| I don't know what lake y'all used for some stuff. | ||
| Castaic, mostly. | ||
| Boy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That sucker looked cold, and it looked rough some days. | ||
| Oh, I mean, how cold does it get? | ||
| We're living in California. | ||
| Touche. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It gets down to 50. It must have been 60 degrees in there. | |
| Water was like 75 degrees. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know how they dealt. | |
| But you've seen one snake on a stranger. | ||
| I just felt like this is not for me, man. | ||
| Well, I get so used to like fucked up things and vomit and like like it just I'm just so used to it I'm so like just unfazed like one time my wife She went to the gym and she had wheatgrass juice right after the gym. | ||
| She threw up in her car She just couldn't help it. | ||
| She was on the highway and she threw up in her console. | ||
| She's like, oh my god. | ||
| I can't even clean it I'll throw up again. | ||
| I go I'll clean it I didn't give a shit. | ||
| No big deal. | ||
| I'll get in there. | ||
| Throw up to me was nothing. | ||
| I saw throw up every day. | ||
| I mean literally every day I was at work is either someone throwing up or someone thinking they were gonna throw up. | ||
| Once a week for sure I saw three or four people throw up. | ||
| Every week. | ||
| It was really like preparing you for being a parent, too. | ||
| Sort of, yeah, in a lot of ways. | ||
| Because then you're unfazed. | ||
| Like, when the diapers hit or anything else, you're like, oh, let's get in there. | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| That was one thing that really was shocking to me. | ||
| It wasn't gross at all. | ||
| Like, when it's your baby's shit, and you're cleaning out a diaper, and you're wiping her and cleaning her, it's not gross at all. | ||
| You just feel like, oh, this poor little thing. | ||
| I gotta help her. | ||
| I gotta help her out. | ||
| Well, when it's your uncle at a wedding, you're like, this guy's got a problem. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| This weirdo. | ||
| Yeah, drunk bastard shitting his pants. | ||
| Crapped his pants again. | ||
| Fucking savage. | ||
| How old are your kids? | ||
| The little ones are seven and five. | ||
| Seven and five. | ||
| That means you've seen, like, Doc McStuffins. | ||
| Oh, yeah, of course. | ||
| Doc McStuffins. | ||
| I watch it all the time. | ||
| I like to call her Dr. McStuffins. | ||
| It drives my girls crazy. | ||
| Well, you know what they think is funny now? | ||
| They like to watch shows that they already know in other languages and just laugh and laugh. | ||
| Yeah, they're like bubble guppies in French. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the latest. | |
| Get out. | ||
| Plays in the car. | ||
| That's fantastic. | ||
| And they're singing bubble guppies. | ||
| You think it's fantastic because you have daughters too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| People at home are like, yeah, not fantastic people listening. | ||
| They don't care. | ||
| Like Jamie over there. | ||
| No kid, no girlfriend. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's like, fuck kids. | ||
| You should get some kids, man. | ||
| It is a ride. | ||
| He doesn't even have a dog or a plant. | ||
| Dude, the beauty is when kids say things that you know aren't wrong, but you're not sure how to help them understand that publicly sometimes they're incorrect. | ||
| We drove back from Chicago last week. | ||
| We stopped in a town called Arcola. | ||
| I think it was in Illinois. | ||
| It might have been Indiana. | ||
| It's something with an I. It's the home of the guy that created the Raggedy Ann and Andy doll. | ||
| And it just so happens there was a parade. | ||
| A Raggedy Ann and Andy parade. | ||
| And kids here, there's a parade, and it's like catnip to children. | ||
| They just go, oh my god, we have to see this parade. | ||
| And we were just trying to get them out of the car to stretch their legs. | ||
| So we go, okay, great. | ||
| We'll see the parade. | ||
| Big woman comes up on a golf cart, and she tells this high school girl, okay, plug in the speakers. | ||
| And this girl gets out with a boombox, like a disc man and two three-inch speakers. | ||
| And she plugs it in with an orange extension cord. | ||
| And my wife turns to me, and she says, do you think that's the music? | ||
| I said, honey... | ||
| It's an exit off the interstate. | ||
| Let's soak this up. | ||
| And then suddenly we realize the parade has begun. | ||
| Our four-year-old Millie is on my shoulders. | ||
| Elsie, our seven-year-old, is standing. | ||
| My wife's holding the baby. | ||
| And so they start, and the first group is about six women dressed as Raggedy Ann, and then one weird dude wearing striped socks. | ||
| And I don't know how to tell you this, man, but I just felt like saying, hey, dude, if you're not going to dress up like it, just stand over here with the other 12 of us watching this parade, which is all of 100 yards long. | ||
| That's way too long. | ||
| It's like 30 yards long. | ||
| So the six women go by. | ||
| Then there's about five high school girls dressed as Raggedy Ann. | ||
| They walk by. | ||
| And then there's the eight girls from the local high school flag corps. | ||
| That's the entire parade. | ||
| It takes maybe a minute and a half. | ||
| And then Elsie, the seven-year-old, said, Is that it? | ||
| Real loud. | ||
| Keep in mind, all of town is there. | ||
| And then Millie, the four-year-old, says, That's the worst parade I've ever seen! | ||
| And she's not wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| But I didn't know how to tell her, like, ah, you sit there and you're like, all right, all right, how do you do this? | ||
| And I said, Millie, that wasn't very sweet, but very honest. | ||
| Let's just go get some food. | ||
| Let's get out of here. | ||
| And I know they tried, but like sometimes when kids say stuff, you just don't know how else to be like, you're not wrong. | ||
| But socially, we shouldn't say that out loud. | ||
| Well, they need to experience that, though. | ||
| They need to know that not everything is the Disneyland parade. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Right. | ||
| Not everything is Snow White and the cast of Frozen and all the jazz that you see at Disneyland. | ||
| It's not all like that. | ||
| Sometimes in the middle of the country, it's dog shit. | ||
| It's just a terrible fucking parade. | ||
| It's a terrible Raggedy Ann parade. | ||
| Have you ever taken the drive from L.A. to Vegas? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know there's all those weird towns that you stop off along the way if you're adventurous? | ||
| Barstow and just desert people. | ||
| Well, Barstow's a great town in comparison to some of the really odd ones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| Well, there was one that was about an hour or so outside of Vegas. | ||
| I was with a couple buddies. | ||
| We were driving down to go, it was a long time ago, to go see some kickboxing event, K-1 event that was in Vegas. | ||
| And so we said, well, let's just stop over here and see if we'll go grab something to drink or something like that. | ||
| So we pulled into this town and they had a Wild West show. | ||
| And I was like, oh, we are going to see this fucking Wild West show. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| So we got out and they had like a fake gunfight and the whole thing and like there's these like shitty fake houses that were like, you know those movie houses? | ||
| The little facade fronts. | ||
| Yeah, you have the front and there's nothing behind it, like saloon. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Bank, you know? | ||
| We got out and they had this whole act and all we could talk about like the whole weekend was that fucking shitty Wild West show that we stopped off just randomly, completely randomly pulled off the road, drove a mile, pulled in, paid our money, got out of our car, smoked some weed, got in and went to see this ridiculous Wild West show that was the highlight of our weekend. | ||
| Not at the time, but became the highlight of our weekend because all weekend we're just making fun of this fucking Wild West show that we saw. | ||
| And their total commitment, right? | ||
| That's the part, like when you see it and there's like Wyatt Earp walks out, it's not a guy who's kind of Wyatt Earp-ish. | ||
| This son of a bitch believes he is Wyatt Earp. | ||
| He grew that mustache, curled it at the end. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yeah, poor bastards. | ||
| They're kind of like the people that believe in doing the reenactments. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Like, man, I know how this is going to end. | ||
| The best reenactments are reenactments where you know it's a lie in the first place. | ||
| Like a reenactment of the time you saw Bigfoot. | ||
| They used to have this fucking show on the sci-fi network when I was on, when my show was on Joe Rogan Questions Everything was on the network. | ||
| They had this supernatural show that should have just been called the Liar's Hour. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because it was just a bunch of liars. | ||
| And one of them was these people that said that they were trapped in a house in Maine while werewolves were outside. | ||
| And they're just going over this whole thing, and they're like talking about- and then they had like the reenactments of them like looking out the window and then seeing the things- Those are the best, right? | ||
| Like they're trapped in- do werewolves not know that glass is super fucking easy to break? | ||
| You have windows! | ||
| You're looking out windows. | ||
| The werewolves, you're protected inside this fucking house from these killing machines? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What, because they can't figure out how to break the glass and get it the meaty delicious portions inside? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That's not how that works, man. | ||
| The werewolves are a little... | ||
| There's one in your lobby that genuinely frightened me. | ||
| You think it's going to stop and use the doorbell? | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, that's a rubber one. | ||
| It's really easy. | ||
| It doesn't weigh that much. | ||
| You smack it. | ||
| It's face wiggles. | ||
| But a real one, if that was a werewolf... | ||
| It's going through your window. | ||
| It's going to tear apart everybody in the room. | ||
| But it's just... | ||
| Those reenactments, you know, they're cheesy in the first place. | ||
| But when it's a lie, when you know it's a lie. | ||
| Have you met those Ghost Hunter guys? | ||
| Oh, they're the best. | ||
| Do you like those guys? | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Watching that show cracks me up. | ||
| Some of them are very nice, and some of them really believe. | ||
| Why did you two just look at each other with that funny look? | ||
| Because we've had a bunch of those guys, not Ghost Hunter guys, but Bigfoot Hunter guys. | ||
| We've had a few of those on the show. | ||
| The ones that make the Sasquatch call? | ||
| Oh, yeah, we've had that guy on. | ||
| God, that guy's the best. | ||
| I had Bubba on. | ||
| He's just shouting nonsense. | ||
| Not only that, no one has ever recorded a Sasquatch. | ||
| It's like, if you do a coyote sound, you know what a coyote sounds like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He can hear coyotes. | ||
| They have recordings. | ||
| You don't know what a fucking Bigfoot sounds like. | ||
| No. | ||
| You're just guessing. | ||
| Because it's made up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Because it's not a real thing. | ||
| They just yell out into the holler. | ||
| They yell out into that canyon. | ||
| How about those dudes in Alabama? | ||
| The guys in Alabama a couple years ago, they said they had one in a deep freezer? | ||
| That guy had already hoaxed something just a few years before that. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, he had hoaxed it a few years before that. | ||
| He said, well, that one was fake, but this one's real. | ||
| This one's real. | ||
| This time's real. | ||
| I got them. | ||
| Yeah, we got them in the deep freeze. | ||
| What is this, Paranormal Witness Season 3? | ||
| Is this the werewolf one? | ||
| Yes, the werewolf. | ||
| Oh, please play some of this fucking stupid shit. | ||
| Oh, look, it says Joe Rogan questions everything in the corner. | ||
| Look at you. | ||
| These people are reenacting. | ||
| Is this what the inside of the house would have looked like? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| This is the reenactment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I kind of froze. | |
| I kind of froze. | ||
| I had this weird recurring dream. | ||
| You got two things planned at the same time. | ||
| I had a weird recurring dream as a kid that I saw a lumberjack outside my house. | ||
| He was in a red and black flannel, like the one Biggie used to wear. | ||
| And he had red eyes. | ||
| And I, like, growing up in Alabama, I would see him outside the house, and I thought, like, that dude could get in. | ||
| Right? | ||
| But it was just a dream. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't believe he was actually outside there. | ||
| Scroll back to that guy talking about how the thing was outside. | ||
| Well, I heard it, and I just froze. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Was he drunk? | ||
| Dropped his keys, looks like. | ||
| Do you have to have a mustache to have a really crazy story, or is that sometimes just an added bonus? | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
| Paranormal Witness Season 3. | ||
| That means they had two other seasons of this shitty show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha ha. | |
| Look, he sees it! | ||
| I see it! | ||
| He was right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was on my Dodge Ram and that's when I realized I had soiled my pants. | |
| This thing was breathing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought for sure he was going to come at me. | |
| Is this the worst recreation of all time? | ||
| Honest question. | ||
| Is it possible this guy had glaucoma and just the neighbor had a black lab? | ||
| It's possible this guy's been sniffing paint since he was three years old and he's got three brain cells inside his head that are bouncing around off the walls. | ||
| He's an idiot. | ||
| He can't even pronounce sentences. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But it's just amazing that they recreated this. | |
| They actually made a show around an obvious lie and recreated it. | ||
| I just feel bad he left his keys out there. | ||
| I wonder if they're still there. | ||
| Well, one of the things when I first started doing the sci-fi show, they were worried that the show was going to be just totally debunking things. | ||
| And I said, no, I'm going to approach everything with a complete open mind. | ||
| I just want to find out what are these alien implants that people keep saying that they find in their bodies? | ||
| What are crop circles? | ||
| What are all these things? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Problem is, once you start looking at it, you realize you're dealing with the same type of human being over and over and over again. | ||
| You're dealing with these really socially awkward, delusional, bad liars. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And that's a whole industry. | ||
| There's a whole industry of making shows around the stories of these socially awkward, bad liars. | ||
| Like, I met one guy within... | ||
| Three minutes of meeting him, and I'm not exaggerating. | ||
| He told me that he saw Bigfoot, that he saw a bulletproof wolf that appeared out of mist, and that he knew a spot where he could regularly summon UFOs. | ||
| They would come, and these orbs would show up, and they would start moving around you. | ||
| And we were looking at each other. | ||
| It was like, I can't believe we drove out to talk to this fucking guy. | ||
| Long shot. | ||
| Is he by any chance unemployed? | ||
| This guy actually ran his own bar. | ||
| See, how does a guy like that have a job, though? | ||
| Like, don't you feel like all his time would be taken up by believing nonsense? | ||
| He might have lived in Florida or somewhere like that, where he could just get away with shit. | ||
| I love that Florida's your go-to. | ||
| Like, what's the craziest place this country has? | ||
| Florida. | ||
| It's everybody's craziest place. | ||
| Well, in the South, it really is. | ||
| It's the best. | ||
| That's like we were like, whatever happened to him? | ||
| Moved to Florida. | ||
| Well, I had my friend Jim Florentine on the podcast the other day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Love him. | |
| He's a stand-up comic. | ||
| Love him. | ||
| And he moved to Florida when he was a kid. | ||
| He said because when he went there on vacation, everybody got laid. | ||
| He was like, shit. | ||
| He goes, let's just move down here. | ||
| Because you realize in Florida, girls would just fuck. | ||
| Things were crazy. | ||
| It's just a totally different kind of human being that you're interacting with. | ||
| I love that that was his reasoning. | ||
| That is exactly what his reasoning was. | ||
| So brilliant and pure. | ||
| Well, if you live in New Jersey, it's hard to get laid. | ||
| You know, if you're a young guy coming up in New Jersey, it's fucking, it's a grind. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah, it's a grind. | ||
| Because all the big hair and like it's just a... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a lot of work. | |
| It's a lot of work. | ||
| They're not that fun. | ||
| You ever watch Real Housewives of New Jersey? | ||
| Once when I was getting a tooth drilled. | ||
| It's based on real human beings. | ||
| Those are real human beings. | ||
| This is the one lady who literally, her fucking hair starts an inch above her eyebrows. | ||
| She has her eyebrows, and then an inch later, she's a monkey. | ||
| She's essentially some kind of monkey. | ||
| And they let this lady live with people, and she wound up, she's in jail now for tax evasion. | ||
| Oh, that one. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That didn't work out too much. | ||
| Her husband's an ape. | ||
| You look at her husband, he looks like a gorilla, like someone shaved down a gorilla, a big fat Italian gorilla. | ||
| And that's Jersey. | ||
| Do you know what I almost miss? | ||
| What was the MTV show? | ||
| Jersey Shore? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Watching that train wreck happen was... | ||
| You have to admit, when that dude, the situation was like... | ||
| Like, I've got a Lamborghini. | ||
| That was one of those moments when you thought, kids, I can't wait to tell you about this one day. | ||
| Well, how did it not stay on the air? | ||
| That's what's confusing to me. | ||
| Great question. | ||
| How'd that show get canceled? | ||
| Somehow, Pauly D, like, I don't know what, he seems very charming. | ||
| Like, I want to not like him, but I kind of do. | ||
| Because he's just fist-pumping like James. | ||
| Like, I think he's just a dude that just knows what he loves, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But Snooki seems, everyone else seems bananas. | ||
| Did you ever see the one where Snooki got punched in the face? | ||
| I did. | ||
|
unidentified
|
God, it was hard to watch, man. | |
| I've been in one fight in my life, and it was with one of my best friends in sixth grade. | ||
| My buddy Richard Davis punched me repeatedly in the face. | ||
| Why? | ||
| We were mad about something, right? | ||
| And it was like, I'll meet you after school. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Well, I was trying to tackle him and trying to... | ||
| I don't know what I was doing. | ||
| I had never been in a fight before. | ||
| My face was so swollen, I told my mom that I had had an accident on my bicycle, because I didn't want to tell her, like... | ||
| Yeah, my friend Richard from up the street beat the crap out of me. | ||
| Did you and Richard stay friends after that? | ||
| Yeah, we're friends now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great guy. | |
| Great guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, that was a time when you could just get in a fight and like, alright, that's cool. | |
| Well, it was fucked up how easy that guy punched her. | ||
| Like, he just like, you fucking bitch, boom, just punched her in the face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wasn't that awful? | |
| There wasn't no, like, worry that she was going to hit him. | ||
| She didn't have a knife. | ||
| She wasn't threatening him. | ||
| It wasn't, like, self-defense. | ||
| It was just like, he decided he didn't want her talking anymore, so he just knuckled her right in the face. | ||
| Her hat flew off. | ||
| There it is right there. | ||
| Oh, don't. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, don't play it. | |
| Play that back. | ||
| Play that back. | ||
| Go from the beginning, though. | ||
| Here it goes. | ||
| The guy was a schoolteacher, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Watch. | |
| No. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And did he lose his job after that? | ||
| Oh, of course he did. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think he actually had some MMA fights. | ||
| No, he didn't. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He just punched her right in the face. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| What was it, by the way, that you and my buddy Scrape are good friends, I know, but what is it that made you get into... | ||
| Where did that come into your life? | ||
| Where did MMA... 1997 is when I first started working for them. | ||
| I did the post-fight interviews in 1997. And was it something like, had you seen it and kind of dug it and told Dana and those guys, hey, I'd love to be part? | ||
| It was before Dana. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I worked at the UFC before Dana. | ||
| I didn't realize that. | ||
| Yeah, I quit, and then Dana hired me. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I did it back during the Dark Ages, when I was banned from cable. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And it was in the video store in the Faces of Death Isle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, gosh. | |
| That's where you would see it. | ||
| I remember those. | ||
| I didn't watch them. | ||
| I just remember seeing them. | ||
| Well, that's where you would find the UFC videos. | ||
| It was a freak show. | ||
| And most of my life, I'd been involved in martial arts from the time I was a little kid. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So, for me, it was like that show or that event was like the first time they had figured out a way to get different styles to compete against each other. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And for me as a martial artist, it was entirely fascinating because I had always wondered, like, what would happen if a karate guy fought a judo guy or what have you? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And so the UFC was the first time someone had ever done it and put it together. | ||
| So I was a huge, huge fan of it. | ||
| And they needed someone to do their interviews, just after the fight interviews. | ||
| And they literally... | ||
| Didn't give me any instruction, no advice, nothing. | ||
| They put a microphone in my hand, and they said, okay, we're going to come to you in three minutes to talk about the fights. | ||
| This was live on pay-per-view. | ||
| I mean, no one had briefed me. | ||
| Right. | ||
| When I say no one to give me any advice, I mean, they hadn't said a fucking thing to me. | ||
| They turned the camera on me and they said, okay, you're live. | ||
| And I was like, this is an amazing event. | ||
| We got this guy's going to fight that guy. | ||
| And the implications are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| And this guy trains in jujitsu. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| It's a fantastic event. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| Back to you guys. | ||
| And I did it. | ||
| And I was like, what the fuck am I doing? | ||
| Like, who let me do Right. | ||
| Like, this is ridiculous. | ||
| Like, the post-fight interviews, no, no advice. | ||
| No one told me how to do it. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Just sent me in there. | ||
| The fight was over. | ||
| I had to come up with the questions. | ||
| I would ask them. | ||
| It was very bizarre. | ||
| It was very bizarre. | ||
| Very, very, very strange gig. | ||
| And I did it for about two years. | ||
| And it was like all little puddle hopper planes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Flying into weird casinos in the south. | ||
| That was the only places where they allowed them to have it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I quit. | ||
| It was just too much. | ||
| It was just too weird. | ||
| And so I stopped for a couple years, and then the UFC got purchased by Zufa, which is when Dana came into it. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Fertitta Brothers. | ||
| And I just became a fan, and I was hanging out with Dana, and Dana and I became friends, and we would go to dinner, and I would just start saying, well, why don't you have this guy fight that guy? | ||
| Like, what about this? | ||
| You ever see this guy fight in Japan? | ||
| Like, do you know about this guy? | ||
| Do you know about that? | ||
| And I just started talking to him about all this different shit. | ||
| He's like, do you want to do commentary? | ||
| I was like, I'm Man, I just don't want to work. | ||
| I just want to come and drink. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want to see the fights and have a good time. | ||
| And back then no one was watching it either. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| It was like, it wasn't like someone was asking me to do the UFC today. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It was like the UFC then was like doing porn. | ||
| Like that's literally what it was like. | ||
| It's like, you want to fuck on film? | ||
| Like, I don't know. | ||
| How much money is involved? | ||
| Is there going to be alcohol? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You'd have to be like, you know, to be involved in it was like detrimental for your career. | ||
| Like when I was on news radio, I was doing the UFC. Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They were flying me to these weird places. | ||
| Like I started in 97, so yeah. | ||
| News Radio started in 94, so 94, 95. So it was like two, three years in that I was doing that, and they were like, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| What are you doing on your weekends? | ||
| They were thinking it was bad for my career, because filming would be over on Friday. | ||
| We'd be done filming. | ||
| I'd get on a fucking plane. | ||
| I'd fly to Alabama and watch dudes get punting in the head. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Everyone else you work with is like in Santa Barbara for the weekend. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| They were doing fucking plays. | ||
| You're in Montgomery at the Civic Center. | ||
| They'd go to some musical that nobody really enjoyed. | ||
| Like you had to pretend that everybody enjoyed. | ||
| And I would come back and talk about, you know, some crazy event where somebody got their teeth kicked into the third row. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| I got to do the Toyota Pro Celebrity race with Cain Velasquez. | ||
| Oh, he's great. | ||
| Cain is like a gentle giant, right? | ||
| Sweetheart of a guy. | ||
| Total sweetheart, total teddy bear, but he could rip your house down. | ||
| Visually to me, he's like, wreck it, Ralph. | ||
| He could just come in and take out an interstate. | ||
| And I don't know what it is about being around him, but the first couple days I was like, hey man, nice to see you, don't kill me. | ||
| By the end of the second week, I was like, what's up? | ||
| You want to just go? | ||
| You want to just take care of this? | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I started talking crap. | ||
| You want to trust yourself? | ||
| I just was talking crap to Kane constantly. | ||
| And there was one time, I don't know if he actually touched me or he just got real close. | ||
| And I, dude, I shut down. | ||
| I was like, oh, God. | ||
| I just went sort of limp. | ||
| Like he was going to grab your neck or something? | ||
| I don't know why I did that. | ||
| Every time I see him now, I'll still be like, what's up, man? | ||
| Did you see the fight this weekend? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Was it just nuts? | ||
| It was rough. | ||
| Yeah, he got beat up. | ||
| He got beat up and then he got strangled. | ||
| So watching a guy like Kane, who has been... | ||
| Except for one fight, he got knocked out by Junior Dos Santos in the first round. | ||
| The one fight. | ||
| But he went into that fight with a torn knee ligament. | ||
| Like, he was pretty busted up going into that fight. | ||
| And... | ||
| He got caught with a huge punch from a real devastating knockout puncher in Junior Dos Santos. | ||
| So that fight, that loss, was a tough loss, but there was a lot of reasons behind it. | ||
| It kind of made sense. | ||
| Then he came back and dominated Junior in the rematch. | ||
| In my opinion, he's one of the all-time, all-time greats. | ||
| But to see him fight Fabricio Verdun, Fabricio Verdun was fucking him up standing. | ||
| And Fabricio is like one of the best jujitsu artists ever to compete in MMA. Multiple time world champion. | ||
| And Kane was actually forced into taking Fabricio down. | ||
| And he took Fabricio to the ground. | ||
| Fabricio caught him in a guillotine and tapped him out. | ||
| No way. | ||
| It was crazy. | ||
| Well, they fought in Mexico City. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And I saw Kane was down there training. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I mean, it seemed like he was in the middle of nowhere in Mexico training. | ||
| Well, he was only there for two weeks. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And, yeah, somebody... | ||
| I don't know where it was, but somebody put it up on my message board that there's some sort of a formula of, like, altitude. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like, that if you compete at altitude, you have to be there for X amount of days. | ||
| Depending upon how high the altitude is, there's X amount of days you have to be there in order to acclimate. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| For Mexico City, it's like 26 days. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| And Kane only got there two weeks before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| So he had not acclimated at all. | ||
| And he just wasn't ready yet. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And the altitude is ruthless. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| 75 to 7,800 feet above sea level. | ||
| And people don't know... | ||
| Like, I've gotten altitude sickness on Top Gear before. | ||
| It's ridiculous, man. | ||
| You just can't... | ||
| Your body just doesn't know how to function. | ||
| It's like wearing the tightest belt... | ||
| On every part of your body. | ||
| It's just weird what it does to you. | ||
| It's real bad. | ||
| Did you see? | ||
| I put a picture on Instagram. | ||
| I don't know if you saw it, but there's an Instagram picture that I put up that I took while we were landing. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| That's how bad the pollution is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| And that's in Mexico City, right? | ||
| That is Mexico City. | ||
| That's landing in Mexico City. | ||
| You see it on the big screen up there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, I was like, holy fucking shit. | ||
| And as soon as I got down there, I could smell it. | ||
| You smell it in the air, and you get a headache. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, right away. | ||
| Because there's no fucking air, because you're at 7,500 feet above sea level. | ||
| And whatever air that you have is filled with car exhausts. | ||
| And traffic lights are a joke. | ||
| No one's stopping at red lights. | ||
| It's not even a suggestion. | ||
| It's a government gig. | ||
| Street decorations. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, pretty red. | ||
| Right through. | ||
| Nobody was paying attention. | ||
| Everything's gridlock. | ||
| When you hit rush hour, everything's gridlock. | ||
| There's no non-gridlock. | ||
| You know, sometimes you get LA gridlock. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Some selfish asshole decides that even though the light has turned red, he's still going to make that left turn. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he gets blocked, and people honk, and he's like, just looking ahead like he doesn't notice you. | ||
| In Mexico, that's just what they do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| There's just too many people. | ||
| And it's not even their fault. | ||
| It's just out of control. | ||
| Just too many people. | ||
| I saw people pull out into intersections, and it's like a kamikaze maneuver. | ||
| Right. | ||
| The traffic's going, and they just go, let's go! | ||
| They just pull out, and everyone's like, you have to slam on the brakes. | ||
| They just decide, no one's going to let you in. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You just have to make your way. | ||
| Just go for it. | ||
| And so, like, traffic was going, and this guy's just, like, creeping in front of cars, and you see people hitting the brakes, then he would recognize that he had a little bit of an opening, so he'd gun it. | ||
| Gun it a car length ahead and like fuck and watching it was giving me a headache I was like this is crazy. | ||
| This is a crazy way to live There's like 40 million people or something like that. | ||
| It's much larger than LA. Yeah much larger much larger 2,000 feet above Denver and polluted as fuck It's madness. | ||
| How's the food? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great. | |
| The people are great, too. | ||
| That's the interesting thing. | ||
| They're very, very nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're super, super friendly. | ||
| Like, they're just easygoing. | ||
| Even though they're in this giant-ass city, it's not like a New York thing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like, sometimes in New York, I love New York. | ||
| I love the vibe of it. | ||
| I love the fact there's so many great restaurants and so much stuff to do. | ||
| It's like, this is a crazy packet of energy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But the abrasive nature of some of the people really gets to me. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Like, the TSA in New York, you go to Kennedy Airport, it's like some of the rudest fucking people I've ever met at an airport there. | ||
| Or just in the world. | ||
| They just happen to be at the airport. | ||
| It's like, it's... | ||
| It's just that attitude. | ||
| I think it's because there's so many human beings jammed into this place that people, like, they lose an appreciation for each other. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which, you know, if you grew up in a small town or if you have ever been to a small town, the one thing that people love is that people look at you, they say hi when you walk down the street. | ||
| They wave. | ||
| They kind of appreciate you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because we're not overwhelming each other. | ||
| I think in cities like New York, there's just too many goddamn people smooshed in next to each other. | ||
| And in LA, too. | ||
| That's why everybody gets so angry on the road. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| We overwhelm each other, and we're not valuable. | ||
| There's too many of us. | ||
| LA, to me, is just New York with more cars that people can drive versus taxis. | ||
| But when you're in New York, I'm always astounded that it seems like everyone is simultaneously upset. | ||
| That they're there, but they will tell you it is the greatest city in the world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they're all like, this place sucks. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, but I love it. | ||
| I'd never leave. | ||
| Well, the dumbest fucking people in the world are the ones that are, they act like they're something special because they're from New York. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like, hey, listen, I'm from New York. | ||
| I can handle myself. | ||
| You know, like, well, you know how to fight because you're from a spot? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like, really? | ||
| Is that what you're telling me? | ||
| You rode a small bus hooked to other buses. | ||
| They called a subway. | ||
| So suddenly, I'm from New York. | ||
| So I can handle myself. | ||
| You know how it is, right? | ||
| I'm from New York. | ||
| No, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what you're saying. | ||
| Sir, I thought we were trying to rent a rental car. | ||
| It doesn't apply here. | ||
| Okay, your toughness and growing up in New York. | ||
| It's like they're from NOM. I was in NOM. I did my time overseas. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm in the Bronx. | |
| I'm in New York. | ||
| I live in a city. | ||
| I'm in that big city. | ||
| Queens. | ||
| You're in a box. | ||
| You know, we were looking at real estate the other day, just as a goof, and there was a tiny-ass, shitty little apartment on the west side. | ||
| And it was $500,000. | ||
| I was like, this is offensive, right? | ||
| It's one bedroom, shitty little apartment. | ||
| Didn't even say how many square feet it was because it looked like it was less than a thousand square feet. | ||
| And it's a half of a million dollars. | ||
| Think about how many years it would take the average person of working every fucking day, all day long, eight hours a day, plus commuting. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then taxes taken out of it to scrape up enough money to buy this shitbag of a house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You can't. | |
| It's basically impossible. | ||
| It's basically impossible. | ||
| The weird thing is, when we were shooting Lost in Transmission, there was two different producers that bought houses in Atlanta where we live. | ||
| Not to live there, but to buy them and then rent them out, because they can at least make a little money and grow some equity in something there, because out here, like, if people don't know, dude, the dumpiest house you can find out here is still like a million... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Unless you want to live in Palmdale and smoke crack every day, which if you're watching from Palmdale and you smoke crack, I'm not singling you out. | ||
| I'm just making a suggestion. | ||
| I have a friend who just moved to Palmdale. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, gosh. | |
| Is it Afro man? | ||
| She has four dogs. | ||
| She has four pit bulls, and she needed to... | ||
| She needed some space? | ||
| No, she needed a place that accepted her dogs and that wasn't very much money. | ||
| She doesn't make a lot of money. | ||
| She moved to Palmdale. | ||
| Dude, it's awful! | ||
| It's so far out there, and it's so... | ||
| It's like, if they said you can move to the surface of the sun, that's what living in Palmdale's like. | ||
| It's the hottest place on Earth, and Afro Man is from there. | ||
| Who's Afro Man? | ||
| Because I Got High? | ||
| Oh, that guy? | ||
| I feel like you should know that song. | ||
| Is that the guy who beat up some woman on stage? | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| Oh gosh, I'm sorry. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| He fucking cracked some woman on stage. | ||
| He was on stage and she came up behind him and he punched her in the face and dropped her. | ||
| Did you ever see that? | ||
| I didn't. | ||
| I don't want to make it sound like I'm a fan of Afro Man. | ||
| I just know that he's from Palmdale. | ||
| We filmed almost every car scene from Fear Factor in Palmdale. | ||
| Like Willow Springs or somewhere like that? | ||
| No, we closed down some side roads. | ||
| There's some side roads out in the desert. | ||
| There's nothing but Joshua trees and coyotes and shit. | ||
| And we had these giant, you know, 10-mile stretches of road that they allow us to close down. | ||
| Nobody gives a fuck out there. | ||
| Just go for it. | ||
| Yeah, this is the video. | ||
| Oh, gosh, this is the second video you're showing me. | ||
| Second video of a chick getting punched in the face. | ||
| That's not what I thought. | ||
| You don't need to see it. | ||
| Everyone says you're so sweet and gentle. | ||
| I try to be nice, man. | ||
| Shit goes wrong sometimes. | ||
| But yeah, some woman got behind him and she was like just drunk and being silly at a show and just thought it was cute to climb on stage with him and he punched her in the face and knocked her out cold. | ||
| She fell back and cracked her head. | ||
| I mean, it was fucked up. | ||
| I was on stage in New Hampshire at a NASCAR race once and I was telling people like, alright, thanks for coming out to the show. | ||
| Like, have a great night. | ||
| And all of a sudden I turned and there was a woman right here. | ||
| And I'm not saying, like, I've never had a stalk or anything like that, thank goodness. | ||
| But, like, I don't know if you've ever had people precariously, I was standing on, like, an eight-foot-tall platform. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I don't know where she came from, and no one saw her, and then she was just there in my face, and a little bit drunk, and definitely from New Hampshire. | ||
| I don't know if you've had those moments, but it's a real fight-or-flight moment where you're like, why are you, why are you right here in my face, and you're drunk? | ||
| And she knew my name, and then you're like, I'm just gonna go. | ||
| This feels weird. | ||
| It's weird that someone would not think that you would freak out by sneaking up behind you like that. | ||
| I also have glasses and real limited peripheral, so it's not... | ||
| Like, you can sneak up on me in the room that we're in. | ||
| My wife will sometimes stare at me in the car to see how long it takes me to notice, and then she'll give up. | ||
| Because I'm not gonna see you over there. | ||
| I can't... | ||
| I'm not gonna notice. | ||
| A little tough game with me. | ||
| There's a lot of weirdos out there. | ||
| That's the thing is, you never know. | ||
| When you hear about that guy that shot Daryl Dimebag on stage, you never know. | ||
| You might be in the wrong place at the wrong time. | ||
| So I can understand that he'd be freaked out if this woman was on stage, but a cursory glance at her Would let you understand, oh, there's no reason to give this woman a concussion. | ||
| She's just a crazy drunk lady. | ||
| You know, you don't need to fucking molly whop her in the face. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pardon me. | |
| I bet they had security there, too. | ||
| Like, you could have probably had another... | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Another plan of action. | ||
| But if they did have security, she would have never gotten on stage. | ||
| Ah, fair point. | ||
| What if the security got high because they were listening to a song because I got high? | ||
| Like, that song is basically like, I was going to do all of the things I need to do, like pay the rent, pay the bills, I was going to do some stuff, and then he got high. | ||
| Maybe he got high. | ||
| Maybe security got high? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Anything could have happened. | ||
| Speculation at this point. | ||
| It's really speculation. | ||
| Feels like a Monday morning quarterback here. | ||
| Riff Raff. | ||
| That's what happens when security is on stage. | ||
| This fan gets nailed. | ||
| Oh, Jesus Christ. | ||
| Alright, let's give... | ||
| Oh my God. | ||
| Oh my God, he just threw that guy in the crowd. | ||
| Riff Raff, the white rapper. | ||
| Let's give him some credit for making it on World Star Hip Hop. | ||
| Is he white? | ||
| He is white. | ||
| Oh, you've not seen Riff Raff? | ||
| Is that a woman that tackles, that taps him? | ||
| No, I think it's a fan with some shaggy hair. | ||
| Let's show that again, because the power double that this dude lands is quite impressive. | ||
| Watch. | ||
| The guy taps him. | ||
| Look at this. | ||
| Boom! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, gosh! | |
| That guy probably died. | ||
| Look how he just throws him in the crowd, too, like he's trash. | ||
| Don't they have any liability whatsoever for fucking a 300 pound giant human being tackling you like that? | ||
| So Riff Raff, I've never heard of this fellow before, but he has dreadlocks. | ||
| Is he related to the woman from Spokane that was the head of the NAACP, perhaps? | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Did you ever see the movie Soul Man that was out in the 80s? | ||
| You know what I love about this? | ||
| Super progressive people are starting to take her side. | ||
| The tide has turned and they're starting to say that race is just a social construct. | ||
| And I've been reading all these articles about how she ran circles around Matt Lauer on the Today Show. | ||
| All these super progressive left-wing people who are pro-transgender are now starting to accept transracial. | ||
| They're not fucking around. | ||
| I never saw that coming. | ||
| She is running with it. | ||
| She's running with it. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| And one of the things that she said is, I identify as black. | ||
| So she's been lying about her dad. | ||
| Like, this guy, she hangs out with, she calls him her dad. | ||
| He's a black guy. | ||
| She pretends it's a real dad. | ||
| Right, her parents are from Montana or something. | ||
| They're white as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They're white as fuck. | ||
| But she has... | ||
| That's what she checked on her college application, right? | ||
| Well, what's amazing about her is she went to Howard University and sued Howard University because sued them for discrimination because she was white. | ||
| So in the lawsuit, she's saying that she's white. | ||
| She's like, well, then I identify as white. | ||
| But I identify as black now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| We live in a crazy time! | ||
| Donald Trump's gonna be president. | ||
| No one's black. | ||
| No one's white. | ||
| You're whatever the fuck you want to be. | ||
| You can be anything you want. | ||
| We live in fantasy land. | ||
| America. | ||
| He paid $50 to cheer for him. | ||
| A president... | ||
| No, really? | ||
| Is that true? | ||
| That he offered actors $50 to cheer from him? | ||
| Hey, you can't say he's not a businessman. | ||
| There's a video of him pulling his hair back to reveal that he has real hair. | ||
| No, no, no way! | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| You can see. | ||
| I love that your fans are that interactive, dude. | ||
| They're on the ball. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| So, someone must have challenged him on his hair, and so he pulls his hair back. | ||
| Look, see? | ||
| He's got fucking hair. | ||
| He just likes... | ||
| He basically just moved his bangs, which start at his shoulder blades. | ||
| But he showed his... | ||
| Look, he showed his hairline. | ||
| He does have hair. | ||
| He just has a wacky fucking thing with hair, like a Don King thing going on. | ||
| That's fucking hair, man. | ||
| Okay, that's weird. | ||
| There's a lot of hairspray in there, and it's obviously thinning. | ||
| But, you know. | ||
| For the record, there's nothing wrong with losing your hair. | ||
| You're talking to a bald guy. | ||
| It looks great on you. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| I've always said if I lose and I want to look like a clown, I might go, like, just dye it. | ||
| But I think when you get to be a guy like a Don King or a guy like a Donald Trump, that's sort of his look. | ||
| Like, they commit to that, and then they start thinking that that's their lucky look. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That you kind of have to have your hair sticking straight up in the air, or nobody's gonna know it's Don King. | ||
| Like, if Don King all of a sudden had cornrows, everybody's like, get the fuck out of here, man. | ||
| You can't have cornrows. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don King! | |
| You're Don King! | ||
| Your shit's supposed to stick straight up in the air! | ||
| Like a troll doll. | ||
| I interviewed him recently. | ||
| What was that like? | ||
| Oh, it was amazing. | ||
| I did it for the UFC. It was fucking amazing. | ||
| That dude's seen some stuff. | ||
| He doesn't let you talk. | ||
| First of all, he doesn't answer any questions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You ask him a question. | ||
| The pontification upon the universal connection that we all share. | ||
| Like, most of, like, I would ask him a question and he would bring it to women's rights. | ||
| He would go to, like, he's like... | ||
| Wow, that's his go-to. | ||
| Yeah, it was like women's rights and gay rights and it was really strange. | ||
| It was very strange. | ||
| It was like he just talks and then he changes subjects in mid-sentence and keeps going and going and going. | ||
| So you'll ask him a question and you sit there for 10 minutes. | ||
| And I said, I couldn't imagine being a fucking fighter who has some issues with my contract. | ||
| I come into your office and I probably have a hard time talking already. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Not everybody's as eloquent as that fucking guy. | ||
| You sit in his office, you know, maybe you're a regular dude who just doesn't know how to phrase shit that good. | ||
| You sit in his office, you ask him a question, he goes on this fucking 10-minute diatribe about, you know, Rosa Parks and women's rights and, you know, minorities and the white man, and it just keeps going. | ||
| He just keeps going on and on and on. | ||
| And I was like, you would confuse the fuck into people. | ||
| And I brought it up to him. | ||
| I kind of called him on it. | ||
| I was like, you're baffling. | ||
| You're a baffling speaker. | ||
| It was weird, though, just knowing that, first of all, you're across a guy from a guy who killed a couple people. | ||
| Yeah, one of them stomped a guy to death for a gambling debt. | ||
| And one of them I think he got off on, the other one he did some time for. | ||
| Like, one of them was, like, manslaughter, and the other one was, like, justifiable homicide or something like that. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| That's a real stuff. | ||
| Cleveland, right? | ||
| Isn't he from Cleveland? | ||
| Ohio in the fucking house. | ||
| Yeah, Don King is a but an interesting guy, nonetheless. | ||
| Fascinating dude to talk to. | ||
| Covered in diamonds, by the way. | ||
| Covered. | ||
| Yeah, diamond star of David and cross, covering both sides. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| Just in case. | ||
| And he told me that diamonds are a girl's best friend, that's why he wears diamonds. | ||
| Diamonds on his rings, diamonds on his chains, like... | ||
| Do you find yourself, when you're on tour, a lot of times when you make it back to a hotel room late on a Saturday night, that Lockup is the only show on television? | ||
| That show's great. | ||
| Lockup's one of those shows that when I travel, especially going to NASCAR races, I don't know why they're always on Saturday night, and I feel like, what if these dudes were one wrong car on the interstate away from just being a normal person, and then just snapped, and now I'm watching them? | ||
| In a federal pen. | ||
| Okay, so the two dudes that got out. | ||
| You're hearing about that. | ||
| The two dudes escaped from New York. | ||
| I learned late yesterday that the reason that chick helped him was because they told her they were going to kill her husband. | ||
| Really? | ||
| She wanted her husband dead, so that's why she was helping him get out, because they said they would go kill her husband. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| And then my next thought is, well, were they hooking up with her? | ||
| Because I would assume there's got to be some sort of weird love triangle, right? | ||
| Well, apparently the younger guy, the word is he had a giant hog. | ||
| How does that come out? | ||
| It just comes out. | ||
| Well, everyone's going to want to know. | ||
| You look at the girl. | ||
| She's quite the ugly duckling. | ||
| And, you know, you figure, well, she's inside the prison. | ||
| She probably gets to talking to these guys. | ||
| She's probably lonely. | ||
| You know, they make friends. | ||
| Slowly but surely, the guy works his way in, shows her his giant hog. | ||
| Suddenly she wants her husband dead. | ||
| Let me ask you a question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Just as two guys talking. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| You ever heard, hey, there's a prison break, and your first thought is, I wonder how big this guy is downstairs. | ||
| Never, right? | ||
| Well, when a woman's involved, though, if the woman helped him get out, you're like, well, what did he have to offer? | ||
| Did he have a fucking giant snake? | ||
| Maybe he was a great dancer. | ||
| Maybe he was just a sweet talker and knew a lot about poetry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And you look at her and she's just sad and unkempt and neglected. | ||
| All of the above. | ||
| Just her whole body is just a tragedy. | ||
| You don't feel like John Mayer wrote Your Body's a Wonderland about her? | ||
| It is kind of a wonderland to wonder how the heart keeps beating. | ||
| She doesn't climb to the top of the fucking tower where they shoot prisoners and just jump off face first into the basketball court. | ||
| Yeah, what keeps you going, honey? | ||
| Well, I was hoping this guy would shoot my husband and give me some giant dick. | ||
| Well, it's amazing that they haven't caught them yet. | ||
| Right? | ||
| And that they're still out there. | ||
| What are those guys doing? | ||
| Probably they're learning French and walking into Canada. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yeah, that's what I would do. | ||
| If I was in upstate New York, I would think the best way... | ||
| Canada, if you go to Quebec... | ||
| They're very divorced from American culture in a lot of ways. | ||
| In a strange way. | ||
| Toronto's not. | ||
| Toronto, we understand that their mayor's a crackhead. | ||
| They know all about our presidents. | ||
| When I go to Toronto, it seems like I'm in America. | ||
| The people are nicer. | ||
| It's very similar to America. | ||
| But Montreal is not. | ||
| Montreal is a very international-feeling city. | ||
| And the outside of Montreal, Quebec, that whole area, the French-speaking area, They have completely different stars. | ||
| They have singers that you've never heard of that are huge that play stadiums. | ||
| They have comedians that a lot of them would steal like English jokes and they would translate them into French and they would go on tour throughout the French speaking areas and do their comedy routines. | ||
| And they have a whole different world. | ||
| They speak French. | ||
| A lot of them exclusively speak French in a lot of the areas. | ||
| You have to have French on the signs of the buildings. | ||
| When you go to Montreal, everything's in French. | ||
| Even Kentucky Fried Chicken, they don't have KFC. It's PFC. It's Poulet Fried Chicken. | ||
| You know, this poulet is like chicken fried chicken. | ||
| I would not do well there. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, you'd learn French. | ||
| You know, they're lovely people. | ||
| I mean, I guess if I had broken out of prison. | ||
| Yeah, I would think that that would be the move, though. | ||
| You go up there, you learn French, and get a labor job. | ||
| Get some French on tape. | ||
| But you'd get sick of it. | ||
| Do you think they have Rosetta Stone when you've escaped from prison? | ||
| I bet you could learn in prison, and I bet if the guy was learning French, they would say, this motherfucker is probably learning, so he wants to escape to Quebec. | ||
| He's talking to his new girlfriend, who hates her husband. | ||
| He's like, hey, why don't you Rosetta Stone meet some French? | ||
| Me and Tommy, we'll get out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Take care of your husband. | ||
| Little Walkman or something? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We'll meet you in French-speaking Canada. | ||
| How much could you really learn from one of those Rosetta Stone things, though? | ||
| I mean, to really learn a language, it seems like it's a long process. | ||
| It does seem that way. | ||
| Do you know anything? | ||
| Do you not speak anything? | ||
| I know a tiny bit of Spanish. | ||
| Took two years. | ||
| Dos años. | ||
| I took two years of Italian. | ||
| I don't know a word of it anymore. | ||
| That's a nice language though. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I just don't understand it at all. | ||
| I didn't pay attention. | ||
| I have enough trouble with this language that we're speaking. | ||
| It's really enough hurdles there. | ||
| Speaking English. | ||
| I would be amiss if I talked to you and didn't talk about the Jeremy Clarkson tragedy. | ||
| Oh sure. | ||
| Because the real Top Gear, original Top Gear, rather, in England, which was Jeremy Clarkson, Richard May, and... | ||
| James May. | ||
| James May and Richard Hammel. | ||
| Hammond? | ||
| Hammond. | ||
| They call him the hamster. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Sweet dude. | ||
| Hilarious folks. | ||
| They're nice, work together. | ||
| And that's a tough act to follow, right? | ||
| I mean, it's a long-running show. | ||
| They've been on for decades. | ||
| The most popular international show, I think. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And they said it was the most viewed show in the world. | ||
| When you looked at, I guess, CBS Sunday Morning did an awesome kind of, no, it was 60 Minutes, I'm sorry, 60 Minutes was talking about it, based on downloads, both legal and illegal, and then how many shows, how many countries the show airs in. | ||
| Like, our Top Gear U.S. airs in like 100 countries. | ||
| Theirs was in like 170 countries. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So yeah, it's a big... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Huge. | |
| And you kind of hinted to it before about, like, you know, it's a big act to follow. | ||
| We knew when we got ours that we couldn't pretend to be the three of those. | ||
| We were never going to do that. | ||
| We were going to have to be our three guys. | ||
| And we knew that there's this kind of core group. | ||
| We call them UK fanboys. | ||
| And they got really upset that we were doing an American version because they felt like they were the only ones that knew about the UK show, not realizing how many people around the world saw it. | ||
| They felt like, I've got this special unicorn no one knows about, I'm super awesome. | ||
| Well, it turns out, we were just taking the kind of foundation of it, and it's three people in cars, right? | ||
| So we're going to go do our own thing. | ||
| We started with some of the same kind of fundamental ideas, did everything different. | ||
| We didn't like... | ||
| Our producers would come up with crazy things for us to do, but we didn't know about them. | ||
| We just went and they wanted to watch us squirm and go have fun. | ||
| But what's happening now is they announced today, I think, Chris... | ||
| Is it Chris Evans? | ||
| Is that the guy's name? | ||
| Who I guess is like a morning host or their show or DJ or something. | ||
| A popular guy is going to be the new host of Top Gear UK, which they will relaunch and kind of re... | ||
| I'm not saying they'll reformat. | ||
| I assume he's going to have two people with him. | ||
| But sort of the rebirth. | ||
| So, James May is not going to be on anymore? | ||
| Correct. | ||
| Richard Hamm is not going to be on anymore? | ||
| Correct. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| I think the two of them said, we will stand with Clarkson. | ||
| This is our group. | ||
| This is what Top Gear is to us. | ||
| So, when everything went down, and I've never met Clarkson, I've only met Hammond, and he and I are pals. | ||
| Really great guy. | ||
| I think it's one of those things where he'd gotten in so much trouble before over the things he had said, which is also, like, it's weird because that's the same reason people watch him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's like when comedians get in trouble for being funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But that's what you wanted. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'm not making any kind of excuse for that, but I think it's a real bummer what happened. | ||
| And, you know, everybody has bad days, but when he flipped out, he flipped out on this producer who's a great guy. | ||
| I've met him before. | ||
| And what happened? | ||
| Apparently they'd had, like, a long day, and there was some sort of dispute... | ||
| Excuse me about dinner or whether something should be cold there was cold cuts instead of like a hot steak or something I wasn't there and no one talks about it in our Like group everyone's very sensitive because I didn't know whether overnight that would screw up our show because the worldwide brand is it's very important to to everybody that's a part of it and so I think he just had a real bad evening and he took it out on somebody and that cost him | ||
| his job. | ||
| So did he beat the guy up? | ||
| Is that what he did? | ||
| I think so. | ||
| I think he punched him. | ||
| I don't know if he beat him up. | ||
| That just doesn't seem like... | ||
| When you watch that show and you watch that guy, he's like this fun-loving, hilarious dude. | ||
| I just have a hard time seeing him beating somebody up. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I just read the same stuff everybody else did, that there was some sort of verbal altercation and then a physical altercation. | ||
| I don't know what that means. | ||
| I know it's a bummer for everybody that was involved, because it's certainly not something that... | ||
| I mean, he obviously was very upset and ashamed that happened, as was the producer and everybody else. | ||
| It just was one of those things that happened sometimes, and you realize it sucks for every single person involved. | ||
| So why'd they fire him? | ||
| I think because of all the things he had been in trouble for before that. | ||
| Yeah, but are they retarded? | ||
| Do they not understand what's going on? | ||
| I mean, there's a reason why the show is popular, and it's because that guy is a very unique and bizarre character. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That is the main reason that show's popular, is Jeremy Clarkson. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I mean, Richard Hammond is great, and James May is great, but on their own, they're starving to death, let's be honest. | ||
| It's an ensemble. | ||
| I'm rude. | ||
| It's a group. | ||
| It is an ensemble, but Jeremy Clarkson is the funny one. | ||
| And he's like the heart and soul. | ||
| He wrote a ton of the different... | ||
| Because he, from the journalist's side, writes so much about the stuff that they do. | ||
| The Porsche people hate him. | ||
| There's a lot of people from the manufacturers that don't like him, which is funny because sometimes people wouldn't want to loan us cars because things that they had done. | ||
| Well, the Chrysler, remember they had those three cars they drove across America? | ||
| Chrysler didn't want to give them a Challenger. | ||
| So they bought one. | ||
| My friend was a producer that had to pay for it, and then the show paid him back. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| They just had things like that that would happen. | ||
| Richard Hamill is actually very funny. | ||
| I'm just fucking around saying that they would both starve to death. | ||
| They're good together, but they're better with him, like as a threesome. | ||
| So are they gonna try to launch a new show, the three of them together? | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| They have to. | ||
| The name is not important. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so right now they're doing a, they would go and do these kind of live show events. | ||
| I've never done one here. | ||
| They wanted to do one with us and them, kind of a combo thing, and then we never, nobody really moved on it. | ||
| But they were in, because Ken Block was helping them out in South Africa this week, they did like six shows, and they're calling it like Clarkson Hammond May Live or something, because they can't use the name. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| Top Gear Live. | ||
| Right. | ||
| So I hope they'll keep doing something fun together. | ||
| They're funny guys. | ||
| Yeah, they're great together. | ||
| Hammond's got a sweet Mustang. | ||
| Have you seen his Mustang? | ||
| He's got some killer toys. | ||
| He's a helicopter guy too. | ||
| He lives in like a castle. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| How much money did they make off that show? | ||
| I think they did pretty well. | ||
| Maybe they got just a hair more than we have. | ||
| Says the guy with two other jobs. | ||
| He lives way out far somewhere, which I think is also why he has a helicopter. | ||
| But Hammond's got a bunch of kids shows that he produces. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, so he's got kind of his other thing. | ||
| And I don't know what May does the rest of the time when they're not... | ||
| He makes YouTube videos. | ||
| He makes a lot of YouTube videos in his downtime. | ||
| About being unemployed and cooking, which are funny. | ||
| Playing the recorder. | ||
| Yeah, like a really talented musician, apparently. | ||
| But those guys, we got to do, when they were launching our show over there, we got to go to this British television thing where they put us up, and they had this party, like Top Gear USA. So they tried to make the most American-themed evening they could. | ||
| So there's glass Coke bottles on every table, and Jack Daniels. | ||
| And then the girls, they had girls in like Daisy Dukes with cowboy boots and American flag bandanas on, and they had like a holster with Jack Daniels and shot glasses. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| That was a fun time. | ||
| That was a fun time. | ||
| Tanner, I think, was single at the time, and I'm a pretty good wingman because my wife loves me, so I can just be an idiot publicly and not worry about it. | ||
| So the whole time I was like, you guys know that's Tanner Faust over there. | ||
| You know, he's got a couple gold medals from X Games. | ||
| I don't know if you have that here. | ||
| They give medals? | ||
| X Games gives medals? | ||
|
unidentified
|
They do. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Can't give medals. | ||
| Unless you're in the Olympics. | ||
| It's like a Casio G-Shock that they dipped in gold chrome. | ||
| That's not true. | ||
| I don't know that for sure. | ||
| I have experience in taking over a show that was a beloved show because I took over the Man Show for a couple years with Doug Stanhope. | ||
| We got tortured. | ||
| Rightly so in a lot of ways. | ||
| It was kind of a disaster. | ||
| The show wasn't what we wanted it to be at all. | ||
| It was fun. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| We got fucked over because we came in under false pretenses. | ||
| They kind of told us that they were going to make this wild show. | ||
| You know, have nudity, we'll blur it out. | ||
| Swear, we'll beep it out. | ||
| We want to get sued. | ||
| We're crazy. | ||
| And then right when we started doing it, Janet Jackson pulled her nipple out during the Super Bowl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, the slip. | |
| The old JT, yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Slip. | ||
| The plan was slip. | ||
| Isn't it amazing that that generated... | ||
| It still, to this day, just hurts my brain that everybody got so upset that they saw a nipple on television. | ||
| Right? | ||
| I quite enjoyed the show. | ||
| But it just doesn't make any sense. | ||
| Like, if it was a man's nipple, no one would care. | ||
| But it's Janet Jackson's nipple. | ||
| She's a woman! | ||
| Like, it's still just a nipple. | ||
| Steven Tyler showed his nipple on that probably every time they did a halftime show. | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| What's the big deal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, is it because it's a female? | ||
| It's a sexual thing? | ||
| Poor Justin Timberlake had to say, I didn't even know that was gonna happen, y'all. | ||
| I was like, I was just dancing. | ||
| He pulled it off. | ||
| He pulled the nipple. | ||
| He pulled the clothes off. | ||
| He knew what the fuck was going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But how weird is it that a nipple is like, for a woman, it's like super taboo. | ||
| For a dude, it's nothing. | ||
| No problem. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Isn't that strange? | ||
| Well, Ari, my friend Ari Shafir lives in New York City during the summertime, and he takes his shirt off every day of the week. | ||
| He just walks down the street with his shirt off because they have laws in New York. | ||
| You're allowed to do that. | ||
| But because they have laws like that, they can't sexually discriminate. | ||
| So women are allowed to take their shirts off, too. | ||
| So women can walk down the street topless, and occasionally they do. | ||
| And there's like this naked cowgirl. | ||
| You know how they have that naked cowboy? | ||
| Yeah, I was him for Halloween one year. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha, ha, ha, ha. | |
| Were you really? | ||
| I was. | ||
| It was a tough costume. | ||
| It was cold that year. | ||
| We're built slightly differently. | ||
| He's a handsome man. | ||
| Me and the naked cowboy. | ||
| Well built fella. | ||
| He's a strong businessman too. | ||
| He makes a lot of money off that shit. | ||
| What's he doing? | ||
| He's suing this woman because she was doing the exact same act. | ||
| She was the naked cowgirl. | ||
| But she's topless. | ||
| There he is. | ||
| The naked cowgirl. | ||
| Good for her. | ||
| This is a different one, I think. | ||
| I think there's more than one naked cowgirl. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Good for her. | |
| But she has to have pasties on? | ||
| Is that the deal? | ||
| Because in Manhattan, I'm pretty sure the law is that a woman can walk down the street naked with her top out, rather. | ||
| You can't have your vagina out. | ||
| But you can have your nipples out. | ||
| Because men can't. | ||
| We were fucking so strange. | ||
| What a great law, though. | ||
| Good for them. | ||
| You know? | ||
| There's some equality. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Topless all around. | ||
| I say, go for it. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| It's just nipples. | ||
| Even if it was a nipple, the whole idea of clothes is just preposterous. | ||
| If you don't want to wear them, I don't give a fuck. | ||
| As long as you don't rub your dick on anybody or get weird, who cares? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Suns out, guns out. | ||
| Yeah, if your kid freaks out, you gotta explain to him. | ||
| You get some talking to that little guy. | ||
| Say, hey, look, buddy. | ||
| This is... | ||
| Some people are freaks. | ||
| They like weird shit. | ||
| They want you to look at their dick, okay? | ||
| You don't have to look at it. | ||
| They're not going to force you. | ||
| Sometimes your parents are going to take you to the worst Raggedy Ann and Andy parade you'll ever see, and you need to not shout that afterwards. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Just checks and balances. | ||
| Sometimes shit gets weird. | ||
| Also, Bigfoot's not real. | ||
| And that lady's not black. | ||
| She's white, but she identifies as black. | ||
| She's just wearing a lot of bronzer. | ||
| And that used to be a man. | ||
| He used to be a man. | ||
| He won the decathlon in the Olympics, and he had children, and then decided he was a woman. | ||
| So now we have to call him Caitlyn. | ||
| Hey, smoke him if you got him. | ||
| Exactly, right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's an interesting thing when you have to make sure everybody knows, look, everybody's got a right to be happy, but everybody does not have a right to be completely out of their mind crazy. | ||
| And somewhere we will find that line. | ||
| I say you do have a right to be completely out of your mind crazy as long as it doesn't interfere with someone else's happiness. | ||
| Like say if you're a neighbor and you're completely out of your mind crazy and you're like sticking fireworks up your ass and doing cartwheels but you live in a dry area and you could potentially start fires. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Then, this is all logical, right? | ||
| What a fantastic analogy. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Then your craziness is interfering with people's health and safety. | ||
| So I would say that guy, no. | ||
| That guy can't. | ||
| He can't be that crazy. | ||
| That's too crazy. | ||
| I like the guy with fireworks up his butt. | ||
| Totally cool. | ||
| Listen, is this a burn sensitive area? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Not cool, pal. | ||
| This is California. | ||
| We have a drought going on right now, man. | ||
| You know what I found out that's really interesting? | ||
| They're paying people in California to take out their lawns and put in what they call hardscape. | ||
| They give you money and you put like rocks and cactuses and shit. | ||
| And grass you can vacuum? | ||
| Yeah, I've seen that too. | ||
| Right, the plastic turf? | ||
| I drove down the street the other day and there was a sign up for a company that does, are they calling it hardscape? | ||
| Is that what they're calling it? | ||
| I think you get like tax rebates and whatnot for it too. | ||
| I think they actually give you money. | ||
| I think that they, find out about that because me and- You're interested? | ||
| You want to think about it? | ||
| No. | ||
| You found enough of grass and bushes? | ||
| Well, you know what? | ||
| I fucking passed by, is it Pepperdine? | ||
| Whatever the ones in Malibu. | ||
| Oh, isn't that nice? | ||
| That is a goddamn enormous lawn that you're watering for Jesus. | ||
| It's a big religious college. | ||
| I've rolled down that hill before. | ||
| Have you? | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| For Top Gear? | ||
| No. | ||
| I think it was just for fun with my family. | ||
| Oh, no, I was shooting an RV commercial. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Still did it for fun. | |
| A lot of fucking water gets used on that goddamn town. | ||
| Nice grass. | ||
| If they're listening, kudos. | ||
| You cannot be taxed. | ||
| You cannot be taxed? | ||
| Not being taxed on the rebate, which can range as much as $3,000. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| So you get a free three grand. | ||
| No, I think you're saying they just won't tax you on the three grand. | ||
| Is that what you mean? | ||
| No, because you get a rebate. | ||
| You get a rebate. | ||
| You get money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, good. | |
| And then you can't be taxed on the money, I think is what he's saying, right? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| Rebates received by homeowners for replacing their lawns with drought-tolerant landscaping will not be counted as income. | ||
| So it doesn't say exactly how much, but it probably is depending on how much land you have. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That makes sense. | ||
| But the thing that's fucked is golf courses. | ||
| I mean, that is... | ||
| I get that you like to play golf. | ||
| I like to play pool. | ||
| I understand. | ||
| I get addictions. | ||
| But your addiction is using up a lot of fucking water. | ||
| And apparently, in some Middle Eastern countries, they play a version of golf on oiled sand. | ||
| Really? | ||
| They have sand, and they put some sort of oil on the sand, and the way the ball reacts is very similar to the way a ball would react on grass. | ||
| See if you can find that. | ||
| Someone was just explaining that to me the other day. | ||
| I never bothered looking it up. | ||
| I just said, I don't know. | ||
| That sounds like a great idea. | ||
| Well, except a lot of those assholes like those divots. | ||
| Those big chunks of grass that go flying through the air. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Then what? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then what are you gonna do? | ||
| Is this it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Disgusting. | ||
| It'd be a tough place to wear a lot of white colors. | ||
| Where do golf, blue stones, what does that say? | ||
| Grassland greens. | ||
| Used motor oil to make putting possible. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Now, I've been to a lot of tracks that will use motor oil from all the tractors and stuff to put it on top of gravel to basically keep dust down. | ||
| So it's like that idea magnified, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, I think that just, they're putting, right? | ||
| Is that what they're doing? | ||
| It's a tough gig. | ||
| Tough gig right there. | ||
| I'm not that good at golf. | ||
| I've never played it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, never. | ||
| The best part? | ||
| Golf carts. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's really, like my dad, when he would go play golf, I would always go with him as a kid because I was like, yeah, can I drive the golf cart? | ||
| And then when there's a water hole, then I would take his little ball finder and just swim with a little stick and try to get as many balls as I could. | ||
| I have a friend of mine who has a ranch in California, and he has golf courts. | ||
| He just drives golf carts around his ranch. | ||
| He lets his little kids take the golf cart. | ||
| His daughter was like 10. She was driving us around this fucking golf cart around the ranch. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| The town I live in, you can have golf carts. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, you must have lived in a little tiny place. | ||
| I do. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| I grew up in this town called Peachtree City in Georgia. | ||
| It's south of Atlanta. | ||
| It's built on five golf courses. | ||
| And the idea was that you could get to any of these little miniature neighborhoods on a golf cart. | ||
| So there's 100 miles of golf cart path there. | ||
| So if we're at my house and you want to go to dinner, we can just get on the golf cart. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| It's a little bit like the movie The Truman Show. | ||
| You definitely feel like there's a bubble over it, but it's also a golf cart, so it's really fun. | ||
| That's kind of cool. | ||
| And you can soup them up. | ||
| I built a golf cart on my new show, but it's a 69 Subaru 360 van, a micro car, and I built it on a golf cart chassis. | ||
| It's got a 20 horsepower single cylinder engine. | ||
| The thing about golf courses is pesticides. | ||
| And I know a dude who got bone cancer, and a lot of people in his neighborhood got bone cancer because the water from the pesticides, the water got contaminated in the wells. | ||
| And, like, a lot of people in his neighborhood all got cancer. | ||
| Oh, that's not fun at all. | ||
| Yeah, pesticides are... | ||
| There's just the term pesticide. | ||
| Pest. | ||
| Like, it's just poison. | ||
| Just call it what the fuck it is. | ||
| Why are you calling it pesticides? | ||
| You're poisoning bugs. | ||
| Bugs are tough. | ||
| I mean, roaches are gonna be after the fucking nuclear bombs go off and you're killing them with some chemicals and you leave that shit in the grass and it gets through the ground and seeps into the water and then people drink the water and they get sick as fuck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Pesticides are just... | ||
| That's a creepy thing that we do. | ||
| That loop seems pretty obvious to us, doesn't it? | ||
| Pretty goddamn obvious. | ||
| And yet we just go... | ||
| But the people that live in the golf course or near the golf course, they didn't even think about it. | ||
| They just let it seep into the well water. | ||
| Well, because it looks real pretty. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the only way to keep it pretty. | ||
| You gotta keep killing bugs. | ||
| Just keep... | ||
| What after, right? | ||
| Just keep poisoning them, spraying them. | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One of the pesticides... | ||
| I'm listening to this Radiolab podcast. | ||
| The way they figured out how to use poison gas in the concentration camps, they used Zyklon B. And Zyklon A was originally developed as a pesticide. | ||
| And so they used this gas. | ||
| Zyklon A had a particular aroma to it to alert anyone that was near it or handling it that it was very dangerous. | ||
| So the Nazis re-engineered Zyklon A and turned it into a Zyklon B and took out the smell and started using it as gas in the concentration camps. | ||
| Designed, Zyklon A, by a Jew. | ||
| Not only that, a Jew who was one of the first guys to figure, or the guy, figured out how to pull nitrogen out of the air. | ||
| Like, a big majority of the particles in the air apparently are nitrogen. | ||
| And nitrogen is very difficult to get, you know, for fertilizer and stuff like that, it's very difficult to acquire, but necessary in order to grow plants. | ||
| And so this guy, Hopper, Fritz Hopper, figured out how to pull it out of the air and use it for fertilizer. | ||
| And apparently that method that he developed in 1910 or some shit like that during World War I, that method is still being used today. | ||
| And like half of the food that people eat in the world is fertilized from this Hopper method. | ||
| Same guy who developed Zyklon B, or Zyklon A, at least. | ||
| I feel like if they ever need to go in front of Congress and talk about the legalization of marijuana, I think we could take a video clip of that last 45 seconds of you telling me that story, and then people would be like, well, if he can remember all that and he smokes weed, we should probably just let it go. | ||
| That's the kind of podcast that you relax and listen to? | ||
| That's the shit that I listen to, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow, man. | |
| I love that stuff, yeah. | ||
| That, History Podcast, I love those. | ||
| I just love fascinating information. | ||
| I love any information that makes me go, what the fuck? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Anything like that, you know? | ||
| Pot does not fuck with your memory. | ||
| It fucks with your memory about shit you were just talking about. | ||
| I don't mean like that. | ||
| But it does. | ||
| I just mean that's what you just laid down was brilliant. | ||
| Well, what's interesting is the guy also was one of the first people that used gas in warfare. | ||
| And he used this, I think it was a chlorine gas. | ||
| He used it on the English and the Canadians. | ||
| I think it was the English and the Canadians that they used it on. | ||
| But he was being... | ||
| They thought of him, the United States was addressing him as a war criminal at the same time they were using his fertilization methods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It seems like it's got to be one or the other, right? | |
| He was a very, very complex guy. | ||
| He was a very complex guy. | ||
| He wasn't a good guy, but he was brilliant in a lot of ways. | ||
| The Radiolab podcast, when anyone's interested, it's called The Bad Show. | ||
| And it is about a lot of people that did a lot of really awful things. | ||
| And he's just one of the many stories. | ||
| But I've been on this World War I kick lately. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Because of Dan Carlin. | ||
| He's got this podcast called Hardcore History. | ||
| And he has this whole World War I series that's going on right now. | ||
| He just put the final, I think it's the final episode out. | ||
| It's fucking amazing! | ||
| It's just so crazy. | ||
| That World War I was just such a, for me, a war that I never really thought about, never really looked into it. | ||
| And I've just been really getting into it lately because of these podcasts. | ||
| So yeah, Pot doesn't really fuck with your memory. | ||
| I just meant that was what you laid down and the... | ||
| There's a lot of layers to that, and I just thought, I was just sitting here thinking, that's really impressive. | ||
| Yeah, but if you asked me about something about 10 minutes ago, I'd be like, what? | ||
| What the fuck were we talking about? | ||
| Or just 10 seconds ago, what was I just talking about? | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| I feel like I'm turning my dad, and I just can't remember things. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, like my dad will, like my friend that's a pilot, Martin, my dad has met Martin. | ||
| I say met because he's introducing himself each time as a new time, 30 times. | ||
| And I'm like, Dad, that's Martin. | ||
| Nice to meet you! | ||
| Yeah, the teacher, right? | ||
| No, he's a pilot. | ||
| He's always been a pilot. | ||
| If your dad ever meets Martin and says, good to see you, then I'll know my dad's an actor. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You need some fucking alpha brain, son. | ||
| I gotta get you some of this stuff. | ||
| This is cognitive-enhancing supplements. | ||
| Really good for memory. | ||
| Double-blind placebo-tested. | ||
| I wasn't kidding when I said I really enjoyed watching you on Instagram and the stuff that you're into. | ||
| I dig because you're very honest about who you are, so you don't split hairs about, like, yeah, this stuff is cool. | ||
| I want to learn more about it. | ||
| And you'll ask people. | ||
| You have genuine interest in feedback and stuff like that. | ||
| That's what I dig, because there's so many people that are like... | ||
| They wouldn't want to say, like, I had a Coca-Cola Classic at lunch today because someone's going to tell them there's, like, corn syrup in there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're living that kind of like a weird thing, but... | ||
| Well, if you really feel that way, I feel like you shouldn't have the Coca-Cola Classic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, just do what you want to do, and if you have... | ||
| If there's any repercussions, it's probably something you shouldn't have done in the first place, and you should learn from that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| I think so many people go through life like trying to project something instead of just being who they are and working on what the negative aspects of whoever they have designed themselves to be. | ||
| Instead of working on that, they just put up this fucking fake facade. | ||
| That's too labor intensive. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I have no desire to do that. | ||
| Pretend you're someone who you're not just seems to me like a lot of Goddamn effort. | ||
| A lot of work. | ||
| And for what? | ||
| What do you get out of it? | ||
| Like, look at Charlie Sheen, okay? | ||
| That guy's a junkie, okay? | ||
| He's a junkie, and he loves whores, and everybody knows it, and they love him. | ||
| It's not like some fucking secret, but it's because he's like, hey, I like to smoke rocks, and I pay girls to suck my dick. | ||
| Good night! | ||
| Yeah, see ya! | ||
| And everybody's like, I love him! | ||
| He's so refreshing! | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's honest! | |
| Isn't that amazing that a guy can be on a network fucking television show, like a squeaky clean CBS show, like two and a half men, and do these interviews about smoking rocks and paying girls to leave. | ||
| You don't pay them to have sex with you, you pay them to leave. | ||
| And everybody's like, yes! | ||
| I love him! | ||
| Hashtag winning! | ||
| Right. | ||
| Hashtag tiger blood! | ||
| Tiger blood. | ||
| I saw that all over the internet when that all went down. | ||
| And, you know, look, the reality of who he was was not pretty. | ||
| I mean, he looks like he's 100 years old. | ||
| His fucking face has fallen off. | ||
| He looks really bad. | ||
| Like, there's some of the videos that he did, like, right after he got kicked off that show, and he did, like, these weird podcast-style videos where he's, like, staring into the camera and, like, people behind him. | ||
| He looks like he's just sweaty, deaf. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It was coming. | ||
| Out of his fucking mind! | ||
| But still, people loved the fact that he was being who he really is. | ||
| I think so much of what you see, like, when you see Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah Winfrey's couch, saying how much she's in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love! | ||
| And all the women in the audience are like, yeah! | ||
| Let's love her! | ||
| And everybody else is like, you're bullshitting me. | ||
| You're bullshitting me, but I'm used to being bullshitted, so I just deal with it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Like The Bachelor. | ||
| You're peeing on my back and telling me it's raining, Tom Cruise. | ||
| I'm used to it. | ||
| I'm going to put up with it, but only because Top Gun was a great movie. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's like we're shocked that that girl fucked a bunch of handsome guys that she got drunk with. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Whoever that girl is, good for you, young lady. | ||
| I hope you got your rocks off. | ||
| I hope you sucked a lot of delicious dicks and had a gay old time. | ||
| Like Flintstone style. | ||
| Flintstone style. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'll have a gay old time. | |
| It was a different world back then. | ||
| You could say gay and it had nothing to do with it. | ||
| It was totally different. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The thing that I'm still puzzled by right now is that I put up a picture on Instagram about a picture with some friends or whatever, and the amount of people that will go out of their way to say nasty stuff to strangers I'll put a picture up of friends that I'm hanging with and someone will go after someone in the picture and I'm like, what? | ||
| How much does your life suck that you need to go attack a stranger Virtually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's just not... | ||
| It seems to me that internet cunts, they fall into several categories, but the most egregious are YouTube and Instagram. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, Twitter, at least my Twitter feed, is surprisingly polite and nice and genuine and kind and friendly. | ||
| I mean, people always talk about the negative people they deal with on the internet. | ||
| I deal with nice people 99.9% of the time. | ||
| It's almost all nice people. | ||
| Occasionally, a twat will sneak through the net and find their way into my Twitter feed, but then you just block them and then you're done with it. | ||
| But Instagram, good luck trying to block those fucking monsters. | ||
| And they all have, if you go to their accounts, they're all locked. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I feel like if you're going to be critical of my pictures, let me be critical of yours. | ||
| There's a couple times I always think, because for me it's not that different from being in middle school. | ||
| This is not going to shock you, I was a little weird in middle school too. | ||
| Not much has changed. | ||
| I was weird in middle school. | ||
| The world's just more accepting of us. | ||
| I'm the exact same person. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| It's like lunchroom bullying, but on this virtual level. | ||
| So guess what? | ||
| I would stand up for myself then. | ||
| So sometimes I'll watch people, and I don't get a lot anymore, but when they said I was on Top Gear or when I started being on TV for NASCAR, then you would see those people come out of the woodwork. | ||
| I did these funny videos for NASCAR on NBC with Danica Patrick and Kevin Hart, all these people, and someone will be like, you suck, you're fat, you're stupid. | ||
| And that's fine. | ||
| I'm not. | ||
| I don't mind. | ||
| But I would say 95% of the time, I at least like to know, if it's something funny, then I'll laugh and just move on. | ||
| But if it's something to where they really want to go after you, I'll be like, okay, let me at least look at your profile. | ||
| And if I can tell they don't know any better, you just block them, mute them, roll them. | ||
| But if I feel like they know better, every once in a while, I'll just lean back a tiny bit. | ||
| And this guy one day went after me about something stupid. | ||
| And he told me how stupid I was and fat and ugly and I shouldn't have a job and whatever. | ||
| I looked at his profile on Twitter and it was a picture with him and his daughter going canoeing. | ||
| And so all I said was, hey man, I hope no one ever says to your daughter at school what you just said to me, because I know that'll feel bad for you to hear that. | ||
| And he, you would have thought I cussed his mother. | ||
| He came after me so hardcore at that. | ||
| How dare you look at my picture, and how dare you try to... | ||
| How dare you make me public? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, he is public. | ||
| We're all public. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| If you're on the internet, you fuck, you're public. | ||
| Right! | ||
| It's not a thing. | ||
| And I was like, I wasn't being mean, I was just being honest. | ||
| Like, hey, how about golden rule this sucker? | ||
| Like, don't say mean stuff to people if you don't want them to say it back to you. | ||
| Like, it's fascinating to me. | ||
| Dude, people have said mean shit to me and I retweet them. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Just retweet them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And like, you fucking bully. | ||
| You're an asshole. | ||
| You sick your friends. | ||
| I mean, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| All I did was retweet what you put out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is you. | ||
| And I let everyone know, this is you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| This is you. | ||
| I just shared you with the world. | ||
| Yeah, I shared you. | ||
| You know, it's not being a bully. | ||
| Do I have a bigger platform than you? | ||
| Of course I do, fuckface. | ||
| That's how you know who I am, and I don't know who you are. | ||
| That's simple logic. | ||
| It's like, you know, don't stick your hand in the cage if you don't want to get bit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because that's what's going to happen. | ||
| I'm going to retweet you, and then everyone is going to, all these other people that are bored looking for some asshole to shit on, they get home, they're tired of taking shit from their boss, their fucking wife is an asshole, their kids suck, and they're happy to climb up your ass and plant bombs. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| They're happy. | ||
| I'll give you an earful. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| But I think it's because of the same reasons why people were bullying people in middle school, where you don't see nearly as much when you become an adult. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think it's because it's a new thing. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And I think that this cyber communication is untested. | ||
| We have to figure it out. | ||
| We don't know what the fuck we're doing. | ||
| All the normal shit involved in communication, like social cues and knowing... | ||
| And first of all, Someone accepting you as a person they want to have a conversation with. | ||
| There's a lot of these people that you're communicating with online that you would never accept as communication partners in real life. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You would meet them, they'd be gross, you'd be like, Mike's a dick, and you'd just like stop talking to them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or stop visiting his place of business or whatever. | ||
| But because they can just get to you without any... | ||
| You don't have to accept them. | ||
| You don't have to choose them. | ||
| You don't have to pick... | ||
| Because you pick your friends if you're a wise person, and you'll have a better life if you do that. | ||
| If you don't pick your friends, you just let anybody in your life, you develop a series of fucking incurable disasters over and over and over again that you never really recover from. | ||
| And you live your life based on the momentum of a bunch of assholes who aren't thinking straight. | ||
| That's a lot of people. | ||
| I have friends like that, that live their life like that. | ||
| It's just one fucking disaster after another fucking disaster, and if you get caught up in the hurricane that is their life, they'll drag you into the cyclone, you'll get fucking tossed out into the ocean somewhere. | ||
| Or, You choose, but in the online world, you don't get to choose. | ||
| So if you're out there, and what they're doing by blocking you, they think, well, I'll just get him, and he can't even get me back! | ||
| So they put their little fucking locked profile on Instagram, and it's just guaranteed they're a coward. | ||
| Like, anybody who has a locked profile that talks shit, I just block them immediately. | ||
| I don't even think twice. | ||
| I don't respond to them. | ||
| The funny part is if they think, like there's a writer in NASCAR that blocked me, and I was laughing, right? | ||
| A writer? | ||
| Yeah, and it was just one of those things where for some reason this guy decided the day I showed up he hated me. | ||
| But I laughed because I thought, that means you thought I wanted to know what you thought. | ||
| But I never wanted to know what you thought because I didn't care then and I didn't care now. | ||
| But the fact that he went to that effort, it made me giggle. | ||
| Like, same thing, if some stranger says you're stupid and then blocked me, you're like, I'm so sorry. | ||
| You must have thought I was going to want to learn more about you after you insulted me. | ||
| What writer could seriously get to know you and not think you're a great guy? | ||
| That's confusing to me. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| You're a very friendly guy. | ||
| Why did he decide that you were a dick? | ||
| Great question. | ||
| What was his criticism? | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| What's his name, by the way? | ||
| No. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Let's find out. | ||
| There's this one guy... | ||
| There's this one guy that was a NASCAR rider. | ||
| There can't be too many of those, are there? | ||
| There's a bunch. | ||
| There's a bunch. | ||
| It is a great group. | ||
| Honestly, it's great group with people. | ||
| Do they write with crayons, napkins and shit? | ||
| No, not anymore. | ||
| I think most of them have a brother typewriter. | ||
| I think it's brother. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| This one dude would go on serious and say terrible things about me, how much he disliked me. | ||
| But then he was really nice to me at the track, and he did a bunch of shows. | ||
| Big boy, and I'll say this. | ||
| He's a big boy, like a fat guy? | ||
| He was. | ||
| Big slobby. | ||
| He was. | ||
| Big self-loathing cheeseburger-eating motherfucker. | ||
| He's gone now. | ||
| He's dead? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He died of a heart attack? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Poor fat fuck. | ||
| He had a windbreaker that he would take when he went to eat chili dogs. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| And that was kind of, when I found that out, someone I worked with was like, you know, he puts on like a tarp to eat chili dogs. | ||
| I was like, I can't. | ||
| I gotta leave this guy alone. | ||
| He goes to war. | ||
| His stuff is a lot worse than anything I got going on in my life if you need a tarp for a chili dog. | ||
| That's a guy who either really loves his clothes or knows he's a slob and just gave in. | ||
| I think it was the second. | ||
| A lot of self-loathing is involved in people being mean to people because they want you to feel the way they feel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| At least a little bit. | ||
| You know, they want to reach out. | ||
| Like, I've had communication with people online. | ||
| They're, like, really mean to people. | ||
| And then you go and look at their Twitter feed and, like, you'll find some, like, suicidal shit in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, you'll find some... | ||
| They're just miserable. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of that. | ||
| There's a lot of people out there that are hurting. | ||
| I think the model of life that the majority of people are living in civilization, the civilized world, when you're involving offices and jobs that you don't really want and places that you don't really want to go to but you have to. | ||
| Like, what you're doing for a living, you enjoy. | ||
| Obviously, you have a real passion for cars and you're having a great time. | ||
| That's the ideal life for everybody. | ||
| That's what everybody really wants. | ||
| But there's not a lot of people get to be you. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| There's a small amount of people that get to be you. | ||
| It's like not even a one. | ||
| You know, people talk about the one percenters. | ||
| It's not even the one percent that are doing what they want to do. | ||
| Do you think Donald Trump is doing what he wants to do? | ||
| That fucking goofy prick wants to be president. | ||
| He wants to be loved. | ||
| He's paying people to cheer at his presidential announcement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He's just an ego. | ||
| He's just a big ego. | ||
| You know, that's not... | ||
| He just got on that path and that's the path that he's using to try to validate himself. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But if you are not living a life that you enjoy, you're gonna have this fucking feeling all the time of, God damn it! | ||
| Like, why can't I be on Top Gear? | ||
| Or why can't I do this? | ||
| Or why can't I be the fucking UFC commentator? | ||
| Or why can't I be the president? | ||
| Or why can't I do this? | ||
| And what about fucking shit? | ||
| And that's a lot of people, man. | ||
| It's all day is fuck this guy and his fucking Corvette. | ||
| And fuck that guy and his Ferrari. | ||
| And fuck this guy and his big house. | ||
| And fuck him with his hot wife. | ||
| And fuck him with his fucking kids that don't suck. | ||
| You know? | ||
| It's hard, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's true. | |
| It's hard, and most of us are the victims of shitty childhoods and people who had kids that didn't know what the fuck they were doing. | ||
| It's like, imagine getting programmed. | ||
| Imagine if you had a computer program, right? | ||
| And your computer was programmed by someone like me, who doesn't know jack shit about computers. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I know how to type my name in the fucking, you know, my password and how to get my Gmail, but I don't know what's going on underneath the fucking surface of this metal thing. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| So I'm an idiot. | ||
| You know, if I had to program my own computer, it would be a disaster. | ||
| It would be crashing every five... | ||
| That's... | ||
| A human being is essentially like a gigantic biological computer. | ||
| It's the most complex one we know. | ||
| And they're being engineered and programmed by morons. | ||
| Millions and millions of morons. | ||
| They're raising kids and fucking them up. | ||
| And then it's our job as the kids who got fucked up to sort of decipher what the fuck our parents did wrong to us and try to make it through life with as much happiness as we possibly can till our heart stops beating. | ||
| And that's a complex puzzle. | ||
| Not everybody makes it through and figures that fucking thing out. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| And those are the people on Instagram with locked accounts. | ||
| And those are the people that eat chili dogs with windbreakers on and smile to your face and shit on you on your fucking computer or on Sirius satellite radio or whatever they do. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's hard to be nice, man. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| It's hard to like yourself. | ||
| Forget about liking other people. | ||
| Especially liking other people that are successful. | ||
| Hosting Top Gear with that handsome Tanner Faust and that beautiful Adam Ferrara. | ||
| I mean, I will say this, I think you know, like if your life sucks, if it's not where you want, you know, we've all been there, but like I think a lot of people forget sometimes that you can change that. | ||
| Like we, the reality that we're flying through this gigantic marble in space, it will kind of blow your mind, but the fact that you can wake up every day and do what you want to do or not do what you want to do, like that's pretty awesome. | ||
| These things, the fact that we're sitting here, this didn't happen by accident. | ||
| And I think sometimes people forget that if there's something out there that you want, you're going to have to physically do something about it. | ||
| And that's the one thing that when people come after me that I love having fun. | ||
| I want to make people's day better. | ||
| You know, for me, it was like I was either going to try to go back to school and be some sort of teacher, like a high school counselor, because Columbine and stuff like that breaks my heart. | ||
| Like, I can't believe that happens. | ||
| And it's because those kids didn't have the parents that I did, who when they got made fun of, the parents weren't there to say, you're fine. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with you. | ||
| There's something wrong with those people that they don't have enough confidence in who they are that they're going to take it out on everybody else. | ||
| And so I thought, well, I'm either going to do that or... | ||
| I'm going to try and get on TV and make as many people smile as I can. | ||
| But it's because I wanted to do something about it. | ||
| Sometimes it breaks my heart that there are people that aren't willing to push and say, I want something better. | ||
| Well, I think a lot of people feel trapped in their existence because they sort of live their life on momentum. | ||
| And they got kind of stuck in this trap. | ||
| They're in high school and then they go to college and they get student loans and they somehow get out and they don't have a job and they're trying to find a job and then they take whatever job they can get and they still have debt and then they have a family and then they have mouths to feed and they feel fucking trapped and super frustrated. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Yeah, so they see a guy like you who's putting a 900 horsepower engine in a Scion and running around like a fucking crazy person on television, and they get mad. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Because you look at you, you're a sweet guy, you have a big smile on your face, you look like you're having a great time. | ||
| And for people who are not having a good time, one of the most punishing things is watching someone live their life better. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were talking about drifting, like how good Tanner is at driving a fucking car. | ||
| When he drifts, he's an artist, right? | ||
| He's moving like a ballet dancer. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| If I was drifting, I'm sure I'd do it way better. | ||
| I don't even know how to drift. | ||
| Okay, let's pretend I took some drifting lessons today. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I know how to drive, but I guarantee you I look like a clunk, clunky fuckhead in comparison to him. | ||
| I'm not doing as good a job. | ||
| And drifting or driving or doing anything, or bowling or fucking playing darts, it's like life. | ||
| There's gonna be people that are better at it than you. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
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Okay? | |
| And you could either learn, what are they doing differently? | ||
| And try to apply that to your own life, or you can just shit on them. | ||
| You know, you really can. | ||
| It's a lot easier to shit on them. | ||
| It's a lot easier to shit on them. | ||
| Than to try to learn something. | ||
| It's a lot easier to shit on them. | ||
| And sometimes you're shitting on people and you're correct. | ||
| You know, sometimes you're shitting on people and, you know, you realize you are watching some bloated ego or some ridiculous version of, you know, a pop singer that record companies are trying to stuff down your face and you know it's horseshit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you're correct in comparing them to, you know, whatever, fill in the blank, Lou Reed or Mick Jagger or whatever the fuck it is that you really appreciate. | ||
| You're correct. | ||
| But a lot of times what you're doing is just bitching. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| A lot of times you're just trying to figure out why you're not happy. | ||
| You know, you're seeing someone on television or in the movies or just on the cover of a magazine and you're angry because it's not you. | ||
| Because for whatever reason you got down a bad path and you got stuck in this fucking shitty existence that seems to have no exit door. | ||
| And you don't know what to do. | ||
| So you lock up that Instagram account and you start shitting away. | ||
| Just crapping on strangers. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck you, Redwood. | |
| Fuck you, you fucking shitty fucking host, you bad person, you. | ||
| Just farting in your fucking office chair and sniffing your own farts and keeping typing and horrible people out there. | ||
| I don't mean to make you think that I have a ton of those. | ||
| You're gonna have them! | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Look, the better you do, the more you're gonna have. | ||
| There's no getting around it. | ||
| But I think it's a temporary stop. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| I think we are about maybe a decade or two away from no one ever having secrets, ever. | ||
| From everyone understanding everyone's motivation, being able to read people's minds. | ||
| I think we're getting closer and closer to each other in some ridiculous way through technology. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And that's what's going on with these people that you would have never chosen to communicate with reach out and fuck with you. | ||
| You know, whether it's through Twitter or Facebook or what have you. | ||
| I think that we're going to come to a point in time where, and not too far away from now, where we're going to share thoughts in some sort of a weird way. | ||
| It's not going to be as simple as like, Reading something on reddit or you know Facebook or Instagram It's going to be way more complex. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be we're gonna have Have you seen that thing that they did where they did an experiment where they they hooked these people up to some sort of a brain Detecting device and landed electrodes on their head and they they sent words Through the internet across the world Like, instantaneously, these people on the other side of the world received these words and knew what the person was saying. | ||
| Like, brain-to-brain communication. | ||
| You haven't seen that? | ||
| I have not, and that's crazy. | ||
| It's nuts, man. | ||
| I don't totally understand how they did it. | ||
| I think they can only do it with crude words right now, like, yes, no, you know, you suck. | ||
| Like, those kind of thoughts. | ||
| Because I think... | ||
| You identify in your head what that word means, and you commit to that thought, and then they can transmit that thought. | ||
| Pull up that study, because I don't understand it. | ||
| I think it used binary. | ||
| I think it turned that word into a binary code of some kind, transmitted that one, zero, on, off to you, and then you know what... | ||
| There was only a couple things they had in it. | ||
| Maybe four or five words. | ||
| So they knew what it was because of the binary, but it's... | ||
| Yeah, it was like chow or hello, or something like that. | ||
| Chow or hello or goodbye. | ||
| Did they just play the Flight of the Conchords song about the binary solo? | ||
| Do you think that's what it was? | ||
| I don't know that one. | ||
| Oh my god, I love those guys. | ||
| New Zealand's are my favorite. | ||
| New Zealand's a nice spot. | ||
| They're gentle people. | ||
| It's a sweet spot, but they're trying to... | ||
| Kim.com's getting fucked over over there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Stole all his money and they're trying to import him or export him to the United States. | ||
| Deport him, rather. | ||
| That's a weird situation, huh? | ||
| That mega upload situation. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because he didn't, you know, he's never even been to America. | ||
| And they're trying to bring him to America for some alleged crimes against these alleged movie companies where people were uploading videos. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's very, very complex. | ||
| But it's also, like, I would like to know, like, what percentage of that site was being used for that, and what percentage of it was being used for people just uploading things. | ||
| I don't totally understand how he was, were people paying, like, a subscription fee? | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| I don't know either. | ||
| Sometimes when people make a lot of money, you're like, well, how did that just happen? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| A company in Barcelona called Starlab described transmitting short words like chow encoded as binary digits between the brains of individuals on different continents. | ||
| Both studies use a similar setup. | ||
| The sender of the message wore an EEG. Electroencephalography cap that captured electrical signals generated by his cortex while he thought about moving his hands or feet. | ||
| These signals were then sent over the internet to a computer that translated them into jolts delivered to a recipient's brain using a magnetic coil. | ||
| In Starlab's case, the recipient perceived a flash of light. | ||
| In the University of Washington case, the magnetic pulse caused An involuntary twitch of the wrist over a touchpad to shoot a rocket into a computer game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| See, we're getting to this weird place in technology and the ability that we have to manipulate technology. | ||
| The ability that we have to manipulate matter and information, it's going to make... | ||
| Haters online it's gonna be it's gonna be ridiculous. | ||
| This is a Temporary pit stop like an adolescent stage and the communication that we're enjoying and it's it's what it is is if you look back at Watch Game of Thrones send a raven, you know, they take a fucking raven time message to his leg, you know That was like the only way you can get a message to somebody. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That is ridiculous now. | ||
| And I think these ideas of texts and tweets and all that stuff, it will be ridiculous in the future. | ||
| Because we'll just have something that's far more satisfying, far more direct. | ||
| You'll understand sarcasm. | ||
| You're going to understand when someone's fucking... | ||
| You ever get a text from someone and you're like, are you fucking with me? | ||
| Is this guy really mad at me or is he fucking with me? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then you have to say, are you fucking with me? | ||
| And they're like, totally. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| No, not serious. | ||
| We're just joking around. | ||
| And sometimes they are serious, but they're pretending they're not serious. | ||
| You're going to be able to feel that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're saying that we could wake up one day and I'll be like, I'll be thinking we should get coffee, and you'll be thinking that sounds great? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| I'll show up at your house with a coffee. | ||
| We won't even have a conversation. | ||
| I've got butter and nootropics. | ||
| Nootropics. | ||
| Nootropics. | ||
| That was close. | ||
| They'll help your dad with his memory. | ||
| Is that it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, for sure. | |
| My buddy Parker Kligerman's doing something with those. | ||
| There's a bunch of different nootropics that'll help with memory, but we've done two double-blind placebo-controlled tests at Onnit with the Boston Institute of Memory, Boston Center for Memory, and they showed... | ||
| Wait, can you not remember the name of the center? | ||
| Um, I can't remember. | ||
| Damn it. | ||
| We've got work left to do. | ||
| It's not important to me. | ||
| For me, if you use names, I don't remember people's names. | ||
| Mike, Bob, Tim. | ||
| It's not important. | ||
| That's that dude. | ||
| I love that. | ||
| But when something's important to me, I'll never fucking forget it. | ||
| When I do UFC commentary and I start talking about past fights, I don't have notes. | ||
| Those aren't from notes. | ||
| That's all just from my head. | ||
| I just remember fights. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| I've probably called like 1,500 professional fights at least. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And I just remember most of them. | ||
| Just that Rolodex that's in there. | ||
| I don't remember all of them. | ||
| Sometimes I have to research or go back. | ||
| But I remember most of them. | ||
| Most of the big ones. | ||
| Most important ones. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But a memory's a weird thing, man. | ||
| You know, I went to this thing the other day. | ||
| My daughter had this dance recital, and she had been to the same place two years before, and I'd only been there once. | ||
| And as I was walking there, I was like, where do I go? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I go over here. | ||
| Like, all of a sudden, my brain went, yeah, yeah, let me pull those files up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You got to go over here. | ||
| And I was, like, thinking as I was walking, I was like, how weird is this that my brain is just pulling these files up now? | ||
| Because if it wasn't for this recital that I had to go to, I would never remember any shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But for whatever reason, your brain can like reach back and find those files and pull them out when necessary. | ||
| For now. | ||
| Like it'll keep them for like, it's like sort of like tweets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Like if someone sends you a direct message and Twitter cleans those out after like six months or something. | ||
| Like, you don't need this anymore. | ||
| Trying to save some space. | ||
| This wasn't important. | ||
| I'm going to kick this out of here. | ||
| You know, I think that's also going to be one of the things that gets resolved with technology. | ||
| I think the way we memorize things now is, like, really crude. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| And it doesn't work that good. | ||
| I think we're going to be able to record things that you see directly to some sort of medium, like whether it's an SD card or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| And you're going to be able to share experiences with someone else. | ||
| Your wife is like, hey, how was work today? | ||
| You're like, well, why don't you fucking live it, bitch? | ||
| You put the card in her little slot. | ||
| I'll show you. | ||
| Yeah, and she's like, oh my god, I just jumped a fucking school bus over the top of a bridge and flames were shooting out of it. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I did at work today. | ||
| Yeah, works pretty good. | ||
| Pretty good day at work, honey. | ||
| That's gonna be crazy. | ||
| Yeah, we're gonna... | ||
| But you know what's really bumming me out, and what's gonna bum me out as an automotive enthusiast, as you are as well, is these self-driving cars. | ||
| It's so strange, isn't it? | ||
| Well, it is and it isn't. | ||
| I think we need it, because I think a lot of assholes drive like shit. | ||
| But man, it's gonna be a bummer when you can't just go for a ride up the fucking Angels Crest Highway and just... | ||
| Just have fun. | ||
| Just go drive and, you know, roll the window down and feel it and just... | ||
| Or, is it possible it will make driving for people like us even better? | ||
| Because no one... | ||
| Three minutes, okay. | ||
| No one else... | ||
| Like, if all the people that suck at driving are in autonomous cars, and we're just in the left lane in fast cars, won't that be better? | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| If you have to like... | ||
| Yeah, like every Tanner Faust guy is allowed to drive whatever the fuck he wants. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Because he has such an expertise. | ||
| What if there's like a test? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because like my 53 Plymouth... | ||
| There's no way you could make a computer big enough to drive that thing yourself. | ||
| Do you think we'll ever get to a point where you're not allowed to drive those cars? | ||
| Like, there's some weird laws in California. | ||
| Like, one of the reasons why people like older cars is because you don't have to smog them. | ||
| Hell yes. | ||
| But look at Mexico City, that fucking picture that I showed you today. | ||
| That's what happens when you let people not smog their cars, or you have too many cars. | ||
| And we don't want that. | ||
| So where do you draw the line? | ||
| I mean, there's only a certain amount of 1969 Chevelles that are available in the world. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you've got to find one of those in order to have a 1969 Chevelle. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| They don't make them anymore. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| And if you want to build a new 1969 Chevelle, well, guess what, bitch? | ||
| That's got to get smogged. | ||
| That's not going to be the same. | ||
| But I think that, you know, there's good in it, and there's bad, you know, you know, it's not clean. | ||
| It seems like if you've been drinking, it's a genius idea. | ||
| Oh, it's perfect! | ||
| Right? | ||
| Just drop me off at home. | ||
| Park yourself in the garage. | ||
| That sounds awesome. | ||
| But imagine if you were in that self-driving car, and you're safe and sound, and some dickwad in a fucking Mustang is going hooniginning right on the corner sideways. | ||
| He's just doing a standing burnout at the stoplight. | ||
| Boom! | ||
| He smashes into you. | ||
| You know, then you're like, well, everybody should be in these fucking driverless cars, goddammit. | ||
| Didn't they crash one of those Google cars, though? | ||
| There's been some confirmation that the Google cars have actually crashed. | ||
| So they're not perfect yet. | ||
| They're not. | ||
| But they've probably crashed a lot less than the people that work for Google. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Touché. | ||
| Now, see, that's... | ||
| That's a stat I don't want to learn. | ||
| Turns out just because you're good with a laptop doesn't mean you're good with a Camry. | ||
| Dude, I had a great time talking to you. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Thanks for being on. | ||
| We've got to do this again. | ||
| That was great. | ||
| What's funny is I was like, how long are some of these? | ||
| This was three hours. | ||
| Yeah, how about that? | ||
| I feel like I just got here. | ||
| Flew by, man. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Thanks for being on, man. | ||
| I really appreciate it. | ||
| And I enjoy your show. | ||
| And when can people watch it? | ||
| It's on the History Channel? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| We just ran our season of Lost in Transmission, so we'll go back to work, it looks like, into the summer on Top Gear. | ||
| That'll take a little while to make, and then hopefully we'll do more Lost in Transmission. | ||
| And you can see me every weekend on NBC, starting in July, for all our NASCAR coverage. | ||
| And what is your Twitter handle? | ||
| It's at Rutledgewood. | ||
| R-U-T-L-E-D-G-E. W-O-O-D. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be back tomorrow with hypnotist Vinnie Shorman, the man that Joe Schilling was telling me about. | ||
| He's going to hypnotize me. | ||
| I'm going to tell you if this shit works. | ||
| See you guys. | ||
| Much love. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks, buddy. |
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