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Feb. 19, 2015 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:00:17
Joe Rogan Experience #614 - Christopher Ryan, PhD
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christopher ryan
48:50
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joe rogan
01:09:47
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andy stumpf
00:02
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craig jones
00:02
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unidentified
The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
joe rogan
Back from the rain-soaked jungle of the Pacific Northwest where hippies flourish.
Chris Ryan, dude, they're out there, man.
christopher ryan
They are.
joe rogan
They're like monkeys in the jungle.
They're like bugs in the forest.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
Flowers in the garden, yeah.
joe rogan
Oh, that too.
You could look at it in a positive way.
christopher ryan
Yeah, yeah.
joe rogan
It's a good place for them.
christopher ryan
It's an interesting place.
You're going to be there soon, right?
Yes, this weekend.
joe rogan
I'm very excited.
I love Portland.
I fuck with them about being hippie-infested, but better that than fucking psychos, you know?
christopher ryan
That's true.
That's true.
It's an interesting place that it's got such a strong culture for such a small city.
You know what I mean?
There are huge cities three times that size where you don't even know you're there, right?
Based on how people dress, food, attitude, whatever.
Portland is so specific and sort of micro-cultural.
I was talking to a friend who grew up there the other day, and I asked him, what's the biggest change from 20 years ago?
And it was interesting.
He said, not eccentricity.
It was really eccentric then.
It's the same now.
You know, that sort of became the calling card of Portland.
He said the big difference is there was no smugness 20 years ago.
joe rogan
Oh, now people are smug then?
christopher ryan
Yeah, because I think people who sort of choose that identity then go to Portland.
You know what I mean?
Like hippies who are actually kind of Nazis.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's a lot of those, right?
christopher ryan
Yeah, like really judgmental hippies.
joe rogan
Like super ultra left-wing people who are really just mean, and they just find a target, and the target is a right-wing, and so they go after them.
christopher ryan
Or whomever.
Or they often go after each other.
Often.
So there's like a fascist mentality that just happens to have chosen a hippie outfit off the rack.
joe rogan
Exactly.
unidentified
Exactly.
christopher ryan
I had an ex-girlfriend who was really into fashion, and I remember one time her saying, we lived in San Francisco for a while, and I remember her saying, yeah, I want to go for a hippie look, and I'm going to buy the fringe.
And I just remember thinking, that is so antithetical to what a hippie is, to go buy expensive hippie outfits.
joe rogan
Isn't that perfect, though?
That's America.
christopher ryan
It's like spraying body odor deodorant so you'll smell like a dirty hippie, you know?
joe rogan
Well, I saw this commercial, or not a commercial, like a website, rather, online that sells used jeans.
christopher ryan
Right.
joe rogan
They sell jeans that people wore, and they have, like, I mean, they have, like, stains on them.
Some of them have patches.
And they were $270 for a used pair of jeans.
christopher ryan
Good gig, though.
Be a jean wearer.
joe rogan
Yeah, or a good gig to be selling these jeans you could probably buy from Goodwill for, you know, really cheap.
And I forget the name of the company, but their hook is they're trying to make you look like, you know, you've worn these, man.
I don't care about what I look like, man.
You're buying $270 used clothes.
Instead of wearing them and turning them into that, you're immediately trying to adopt that persona.
christopher ryan
Right.
joe rogan
I'm a comfortable pair of jeans.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Look at me with my...
Like, when you see, like, fake rips, those fake rips that people have, they're crazy.
Like, what are you doing?
You're buying torn clothes.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
And you think it gives you a look, I'm down home.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, the knees are just all worn out in these pants, man.
unidentified
Yeah.
christopher ryan
I'm waiting for, you know, it works with clothes.
I'm waiting for it to work with the body, you know?
Because I just turned 53 recently, and I'm like, when is old and fat going to be in?
Because it's about time.
joe rogan
When genetic engineering kicks in and everybody looks like Dr. Manhattan.
christopher ryan
Yeah, then like old ugly fat will be, wow, interesting.
joe rogan
It's new.
Yeah, it's something different, man.
It's like a lot of white guys who are into Asian women will go to Asian countries, like China, for instance, because there's no white men there, or not as many, rather.
And so they become an oddity.
christopher ryan
I've experienced that.
I can remember the first night.
I can remember the minute I experienced that, thinking like, You know, first everyone's looking at me, okay, I'm a foreigner, whatever, but these women are smiling and flirting, and what's going on?
And, you know, eventually someone explained to me, like, dude, you're white.
They love, and I've always, the one thing about my body that I would complain about is my skin.
I've never liked my skin.
Like, I've got as much melanin as anyone else, but it's all in my teeth.
So I've got yellow teeth and super pale skin, you know?
Do you get burnt real easy when you go to the sun?
Oh, completely.
What is your background?
10 minutes.
Irish.
joe rogan
Very white, yeah.
christopher ryan
I'm a redhead, which is like one tweak away from albino.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Are you redhead?
christopher ryan
I used to be.
joe rogan
Your hair has gone gray.
Do you prefer the gray or the red?
You got that kind of good thing going on.
You got a lot of blondish sort of accents.
christopher ryan
Well, that's it.
When you mix red with gray, you get blonde, right?
But no, until I was in my 30s or 40s probably, I had sort of orange-red hair.
Whoa.
Yeah, it was dark orange.
It was like copper wire kind of color.
So it wasn't bozo.
joe rogan
But it was close.
People are prejudiced against that in men.
christopher ryan
Yeah, women, it's sexy.
joe rogan
What the fuck is that?
christopher ryan
Men, it's geeky.
joe rogan
How does that happen?
christopher ryan
Well, maybe because of the novelty, and also there's a reputation among redheads for being sort of temperamental, and everybody knows a temperamental woman's a lot of fun in bed, right?
joe rogan
Hmm, maybe that's it.
And temperamental men are just dangerous drunks.
christopher ryan
Exactly.
Assholes.
Irish assholes.
joe rogan
That's funny, man.
christopher ryan
I mean, Raquel Welsh was a redhead, although she was Mexican, so I'm not sure how that happened.
joe rogan
Everything I've seen from Raquel Welsh, it was so old I can't remember, or it was black and white.
christopher ryan
Black and white, yeah.
joe rogan
She was a redhead, like a dark red?
christopher ryan
I think she dyed it, yeah, but just like auburn, reddish kind of.
joe rogan
What do you think dye was like back then?
Would they just grind up some leaves and fucking rub them in their hair?
christopher ryan
Well, they probably had, what's that stuff they use in Pakistan?
Henna.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
christopher ryan
You know, henna goes way back.
joe rogan
Yeah, that stuff is strong as shit, too, right?
People get those fake henna tattoos.
They last for days.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Can't even scrub them off.
christopher ryan
The dudes in Pakistan henna dye their beards, which is interesting.
It's a nice look.
joe rogan
Oh, that's funny.
So, like, when they start going gray, that's their version of Just For Men?
christopher ryan
Exactly.
joe rogan
That's funny, man.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, no one wants to be gray.
That's the one thing, like, universally, people are like, ooh, that's a fucking tricky one, man.
christopher ryan
You think so?
joe rogan
I'm not happy about my gray hairs.
christopher ryan
I just grew in a little chin beard here, and it's completely white.
And I had one five, six years ago when I was traveling, and it was still red.
So I don't know what happened between then and now.
I got old, man.
joe rogan
Oh, so you weren't shaving, you were shaving it completely?
christopher ryan
Yeah, so it was like a snapshot.
There was no gradual process.
joe rogan
I still have mostly, like, say, 80% black in my beard, but, like, the sides of my hair, like, where if I had any, this is all going white now.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
All this is gray on the sides.
christopher ryan
So you think the gray's more traumatic than the balding?
Because I'm going through both.
joe rogan
Both of them are rough.
The gray is probably less traumatic, because I know dudes who are totally gray who dye their hair.
christopher ryan
And they look fine.
Or they look fine with the gray, right?
A distinguished gentleman kind of thing.
joe rogan
I know both.
Yeah.
Well, it just represents reality.
It represents the finite nature of the body, and you're going through a process.
christopher ryan
But also, I was talking about how I'm hoping that old and fat comes in now that I'm almost there, or there, arguably.
Your sort of balding experience happened at a really good time, historically.
joe rogan
I got lucky, sort of, but I fought it for the longest time.
I had hair transplants, I took Propecia, and I put Rogaine in there, which is very ironic.
When your name is Rogaine, you're going bald and you're buying Rogaine.
christopher ryan
Perfect sponsorship.
joe rogan
Especially when you had to go to the counter.
Like, now you can just buy it.
But you used to have to go up to the fucking pharmacist.
You used to have a prescription for that shit.
christopher ryan
Yeah, I've bought a lot of Rogaine in my day because my ex-father-in-law in Spain had me bring it back from the States every time I came to visit.
joe rogan
He couldn't get it over there?
christopher ryan
I think it was like he thought it was stronger or better in some way.
So it was like the only thing that kept my relationship with him partly civil.
joe rogan
I so wish that I shaved my head way, way, way back in the day when I first started worrying about it.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
It would've been way better.
Because I love being bald.
Like, I really, I don't, if I could grow hair back now, I would still shave it.
christopher ryan
Right.
joe rogan
It's the easiest thing in the world.
I don't have to go to, I had a great barber and she was hilarious, a hairstylist, my friend Gabriella, she worked on news radio with me.
She was my, she cut my hair forever, you know, but at a certain point in time.
She was cutting it.
It just looked like dog shit after she was just like it get thinner and thinner.
And then once I quit taking the Propecia, then it was like a serious downhill slide.
christopher ryan
Oh, really?
joe rogan
Yeah, shit was just dying left and right.
It was horrible.
christopher ryan
Well, I agree with you.
I think that all young men like in their mid 20s should shave their heads.
Just so you don't worry about it.
joe rogan
If you're going bald, for sure shave your head.
I say, I don't like to shave my head.
Believe me.
christopher ryan
Take control.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's better than whatever the fuck is going to happen if you don't shave your head.
christopher ryan
I wanted to shave my head.
We were in India.
I was with my wife, Kasilda, in India, in Goa for months.
We were in Asia for like over a year.
And I thought, this is the perfect time to shave my head.
Because if I've got a weird shaped head or I look like a dork or whatever, who gives a fuck?
Nobody knows me.
And I came to her one day.
We rented this house on the beach.
I was like, hey, cut my hair.
I want to shave my head.
And she said, oh, please don't do that.
I said, why?
Well, it's not just because she's used to me looking like a dork, but it was my father had just had a liver transplant.
And she said, in India, you shave your head when your father dies.
And she's very suspicious, and she's got all these beliefs, and she's like, you know, your father's in rocky shape.
You don't want to be shaving your head, you know?
joe rogan
Yeah, that's different.
Yeah, I could see that.
christopher ryan
Oh, I missed my chance.
joe rogan
Yeah, I missed my chance when I was on news radio.
That's when I got my hair transplant, my first one.
I got three of them.
When I got my first one, I was on news radio, and I was like, God damn, this shit is going, man.
I just was seeing it falling out.
And I was like, I'm thinking about shaving my head.
They're like, don't do it.
Don't do it.
I'm like, my hair's starting to look like shit.
And they talked me out of it.
christopher ryan
Well, because it would fuck with my character.
Because of your character, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, because you'd look like a psycho.
I'm like, all right.
So I didn't.
You know, people get used to whatever the fuck you look like.
christopher ryan
Right, exactly.
joe rogan
Like, I have a picture of Joey Diaz back when he was like 210 pounds.
It's crazy.
It's on my wall in my office.
I stole it from the Comedy Store, which is a headshot that he had up.
I don't even think it was up.
I think I stole it from the office.
I don't think they had put it up, so I snacked it.
But it's Joey thin.
But if he walked in today looking like that, I'd be like, what the fuck is going on?
christopher ryan
You sick?
joe rogan
Yeah, but I see him the way he is now.
I give him a big hug, and that's Joey.
You get used to the change.
christopher ryan
Definitely.
I was thinking about...
I turned 53 last week, right?
So I'm thinking about time and all that.
And I'm here in LA visiting my parents who are in their 70s, so there's all that.
You know, there are a lot of cues for these things.
And there's this famous poem by Dylan Thomas where he says, rage against the dying of the light, you know?
And I often think, like, I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe embrace the darkness, you know?
Like...
Like, people fight.
He lost a fight against pancreatic cancer.
Well, you know, maybe that's not a fight worth waging, you know?
I don't know.
joe rogan
Well, I know a guy who's got pancreatic cancer who's fighting it, and they gave him a very short window to live, and he's pushed way past that, and everybody's completely shocked.
But he has this amazing attitude, and he's positive and enjoying life.
And I think his point of view is not, instead of rage against the dying of the light, enjoy the moment and live your life...
And I think because of that, he's actually living longer.
There was a guy, his name was Bill Hoyler, who I became friends with from the internet, from my own message board.
He was a young kid who got pancreatic cancer, and he lived for years.
And we became friends from online.
He had a screen name.
I think his screen name was called Pan Can Fighter, like pancreatic cancer fighter.
I believe that was his screen name.
And I would get him tickets to the UFC and get him tickets to a comedy show.
And one time he came to visit me in Florida, and...
He came to the show.
I got him tickets to the show.
He told me he was going to go sleep in his car.
I was like, you drove all the way down here.
Are you going to sleep in your car?
He goes, yeah, I just wanted to see the show.
I got him a hotel room.
This guy's got cancer.
You can't let him sleep in his fucking car.
Your immune system is super important when you have cancer.
Sleep is super important for your immune system.
But he was always so thankful and never weird and like for a kid a young kid who was facing this horrible Disease that almost nobody escapes from it's like the percentage of people that survive one of the worst very very bad But his attitude was always like I'm gonna fucking fight this and I'm gonna he would post these tweets on the messages on the message board like Three years later.
I'm still alive motherfucker like that kind of shit and you know he had tubes in his stomach when I saw him once we saw him Eddie Bravo and I Became friends with this kid.
We saw him maybe six or seven times over the years.
And, you know, one time we saw him, his head, he'd lost all his hair, his eyebrows were gone, he had tubes coming out of his stomach because, you know, some surgery that he had.
And he was still alive and he still had a good attitude.
It was amazing what an attitude he had.
And I think that that attitude is probably what allowed him to live for so long.
But he eventually did die recently.
christopher ryan
As we all do, right?
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
Yeah, it's funny.
I saw the guy from 60 Minutes who was in a car crash last week.
Did you see that?
I forget his name.
But he's 73. He was 73 years old.
And the headline said, this gentleman whose name I can't remember, lost his life in a car crash.
And I thought, you know, when you're 73, you're not losing your life.
You've already banked 73 years.
You're losing a couple years.
You're losing whatever was left.
11. Yeah, actuarial tables or something.
Yeah, right.
That's not losing your life.
You spent that money.
That's like somebody robs you and they got everything.
Well, they didn't get everything.
They didn't get what I already spent.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
It's not like they robbed your whole life savings.
Well, I didn't really save my whole life.
unidentified
Exactly.
christopher ryan
I've never saved him.
joe rogan
I've been saving for a couple of weeks.
christopher ryan
Yeah, really.
joe rogan
Look at this picture of Vince McMahon from the WWE. Wow.
He's 69 years old.
christopher ryan
Seriously?
joe rogan
Yeah, this is insane.
christopher ryan
And that's not shopped.
joe rogan
I'm going to...
Should I forward this to you, Jamie?
What's that?
Okay.
He's on the cover of Muscle& Fitness.
Tony Hinchcliffe sent this to me because Tony Hinchcliffe is a fucking WWE fanatic and he's in love with Vince McMahon.
But nobody in human history has ever looked like that at 69 years old.
Testosterone is a motherfucker.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
So, if you want to rage against the dying of the light, that's the way to go.
christopher ryan
Get all pumped up.
joe rogan
Testosterone replacement therapy.
Go to a doctor.
They bring it to the same levels.
Look at that picture.
That's ridiculous.
Oh, sorry.
It's behind you.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
He doesn't have that other one.
That's okay.
He doesn't have it.
But it's just ridiculous.
Like, who the fuck has ever looked like that at 69?
Is it good or is it bad?
You know, I don't think it would be too terrible if people could live to be a thousand years if I knew that we had the resources to support it.
Because I would think, like, man, what kind of amazing philosophy and insight would you get from a thousand-year-old woman who's lived hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years and...
And seeing culture shift and change and remembers as much as she could and tells you about life in a way that only a person has lived a thousand years.
And we are a little blips.
You talk to a guy that lived a hundred years, you're going to be fascinated if he has his faculties.
But someone has lived a thousand?
My God.
christopher ryan
Holidays would be a bitch, though.
Imagine the great, great, great, great, great grandkids she has to buy shit for.
joe rogan
That's true!
Imagine the candles on his fucking cake.
Dude would die blowing him out.
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
I think that we're gonna see a great advance in our lifetime of lifespans.
But the real issue is do we have the resources for that?
Because one of the things that is going on with our world, as everybody knows, is there's a lot more people today than there's ever been in recorded human history by a giant number.
And when you see places like India that are in dire poverty, it's one third of the size of the United States.
It has three times as many people plus.
It's like, wow, I mean, you're dealing with a lot of poverty and a lot of suffering.
And, you know, maybe it's a perspective issue.
And maybe what I consider poverty, they consider life, and that if I lived that life, I would be accustomed to it, it would be normalized.
But I've got to think that most people don't want to sleep on dirt, and most people don't want to eat food that's bad, or struggle to survive in any way, and dealing with rampant diseases and That you're dealing with in impoverished nations, you know, when they don't have enough medicine to take care of people.
I don't know.
But if we did have the resources, man, it would be amazing to talk to a thousand-year-old person who knew everything about the...
I mean, if you could keep your faculties...
christopher ryan
How grumpy would they get?
joe rogan
These fucking kids today in their electronic hologram music.
christopher ryan
Pull your pants out!
joe rogan
When I was a kid, we had drums.
We made out of animal skins.
We fucking killed those animals.
We chopped those trees down.
We hollowed them out.
We stretched the skins.
We made the pom-pom.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
christopher ryan
But seriously, I mean, if you think about, you know, just how much things have changed since you and I were kids, you know, if you're talking to a guy that's 500 years old, it's like, holy shit, man.
joe rogan
Well, yeah, the other thing is, a thousand years from now, I mean, if we really could live to be a thousand years old, a thousand years from now, people might not be necessary.
I mean, we might have evolved past this state in some sort of a gigantic technological leap.
I really believe that when you're looking at the iconic image of an alien, you know, the big heads, the big eyes, and no genitals, I think we're looking at what holds us back as organisms and the things that...
If you look at our wars and our greed and all the crazy fucking larceny and crazy shit that people do, it's all attached to the primate body.
It's all attached to sex and breeding and greed and guilt and fear and the worry about being mortal.
If we can move past that in some genetic engineering leap or if it goes Kurzweil on us, And they develop some insane artificial body that you transfer your consciousness into that is just way more preferable.
You know, you got all the buttons you can push for orgasm, all the buttons you can push for adventure.
All those exist inside your head and they can access them at any moment.
But you're looking at the world.
In some crazy 3D, you know, minority report fashion where everything you see, you're interacting with the world in a very different way, you might get a bunch of people to jump ship, and the models might get better, and then the next model might be so pleasurable, so much better than being a human being that it just fucking, people just start jumping ship.
christopher ryan
Especially if the ship's sinking, you know?
joe rogan
Yeah, we're fucking polluting the ocean.
Guess what?
How about you live off photosynthesis?
We're going to cure the whole thing, alright?
Just eat algae?
No, you live off the sun.
christopher ryan
Oh, you incorporate algae somehow into the genome or something.
joe rogan
Look, there was a snail that I read about recently, or a slug, that shifts between photosynthesis and actually eating things.
And it eats certain algae, and then through eating that algae, can actually absorb life and exist off photosynthesis.
And this is a new find.
christopher ryan
So it's like colonized its food, and it's still alive.
Yeah, yeah, that's...
joe rogan
It's somehow or another taking this ability from its food.
christopher ryan
Do you know how sea slugs have sex?
joe rogan
No.
christopher ryan
Oh, this is great.
Since you mentioned slugs.
I wasn't planning to talk about slugs today, Joe, but since you brought it up.
Sea slugs are so interesting.
They're on the bottom of the ocean.
They're just sort of wandering around, blind, right?
On the bottom of the ocean.
joe rogan
What are those?
Can they see with those things?
christopher ryan
I think they're like motion detectors, you know, whatever, antenna.
But when two sea slugs...
Now, sea slugs contain both male and female reproductive organs inside their bodies.
So they've got sperm and eggs.
And when two sea slugs meet each other, they sort of rear up and with those horns, these horns come out of their heads and they start slamming each other with these horns, like a couple of mountain goats or something.
And eventually, one of them will break through the skin of the other with his horn.
And at that point, he injects sperm into the other, and so the other becomes female, because now the eggs have been fertilized, and that one's male.
joe rogan
Whoa.
christopher ryan
So it's like when they're fighting to see who's male and who's female, which may be reminiscent of private school or summer camp.
unidentified
Wow.
joe rogan
Boy Scouts.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
Who's the boy?
joe rogan
Religious retreats.
Yeah, man, that's fascinating.
That's fascinating.
It's amazing when you see all the different varieties of life, when you see all the different forms that it can take, and then you stop to consider that that's just in our Earth's environment.
Imagine what they're going to find if they can chip through Europa and get to those oceans.
It's very possible there's something alive under there that's being fueled from the heat of the volcanic vents.
Most likely nothing.
We've never seen anything in the ocean other than like, you know, we see like hermit crabs.
They'll use other people's, you know, as a shell.
We've never seen anything like build a structure other than that, I don't think.
Like nothing you could consider like, look, there's a house.
You know, like a beaver.
A beaver has a beaver den.
You know, even it's crude as fuck, but damn, they're building their own little house.
It's kind of crazy.
And we obviously have...
Insects in the world above ground that build incredible structures.
christopher ryan
And termites.
joe rogan
Yeah, oh my god.
christopher ryan
Have you seen a cross-section of a termite mound?
joe rogan
It's insane.
christopher ryan
With the vents for keeping the temperature?
joe rogan
Are you thinking about leaf cutter ants?
christopher ryan
Is that...
joe rogan
The one where they filled it up with cement?
christopher ryan
And they bring the leaves back, and then they have a fungus that grows on the leaves, and that's what they eat?
joe rogan
Yes.
christopher ryan
Yeah, that's wild.
joe rogan
I mean, termites probably do something similar.
christopher ryan
Well, the termite thing I'm thinking of, I saw some BBC special recently, and I think it was Termite Mounds in Africa.
And what they do is, like, where they have all the eggs has to be an exact temperature and humidity.
unidentified
Wow.
christopher ryan
And this is in the Kalahari Desert, right, which is dry and the temperature changes a lot night to day.
And so they build these things and they've got this chamber and then below the chamber are cooling fins that hang down perfectly spaced and the air circulates through them so that it keeps the temperature exactly the same all the time.
Wow.
It's like, how does...
I mean, there are things in evolution that...
Are not understood.
There are things where it's like, well, there's no gradual way to get from point A to point B here.
How do termites know to do that?
How do you encode that in DNA? That doesn't seem possible based on what we know of DNA. Especially since it's not an isolated incidence.
joe rogan
This is happening all over the termite world.
It's crazy.
They don't communicate in a way that we understand.
christopher ryan
Right.
So, yeah, it's very mysterious.
I think there's a, you know, you're talking about like quantum leaps and thinking and stuff.
I feel like in a strange way, and I'm even hesitant to say this publicly because it's an example of what I'm talking about, like it's really hard to talk about The areas where Darwinian notions of evolution don't quite make it because you immediately get lumped in with the religious lunatics.
Or the woo-woo people.
Yeah, so it sort of shut down an important conversation, you know, much like the Nazis.
I mean, the Nazis were doing all this interesting science that you can't talk about, you know, or you can't talk about eugenics.
joe rogan
Right, right, right.
christopher ryan
Like, well, that's a legitimate thing to talk about.
joe rogan
Sure, everything's legitimate to talk about, including when you're talking about Nazi history.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Why is that legitimate to talk about, but eugenics as a concept, not saying as an actual practice...
I don't think you should take people's lives because they're dumber than you.
christopher ryan
No, but you could encourage some people not to reproduce, like people who have a genetic propensity to a certain illness.
Like, hey, you know, maybe you should adopt, and here's a massive tax credit if you do, right?
joe rogan
I agree with that, but man, I don't think you should be able to tell anybody that they can or can't breed.
I think education is important with all aspects of breeding, but we all know that people make terrible decisions when it comes to breeding.
Because they want to get that nut, son.
And then they're like, oh no, I made a person.
Alright, now I've got to deal with it.
I don't think we should take that away from people just because they have diseases or force them to get an abortion.
Also, one valid point that people who have illnesses...
I don't want anyone else to have the illness that I have, but I'm alive, and I'm okay, and I have cerebral palsy, and I have whatever I have, and I can still enjoy life.
It might not be perfect, but you're telling me that this experience, my experience in life, because I have cerebral palsy or because I have something else, is not valid.
And I'm saying that's wrong.
I'm hampered.
I'm hindered.
I certainly can't move the way a regular person moves.
However, my experience is my experience, and I can make the most of it, and I enjoy it.
And I'm not necessarily trying to give a child this, but I'm not trying to invalidate.
There's an argument for that, I think.
christopher ryan
Right.
Okay, but let's look at the counter-argument, right?
Because the assumption there is, as you said, you're invalidating my experience.
But looked at from another way, what are we comparing that experience to?
joe rogan
Right.
christopher ryan
We're comparing it to nothing.
We're not comparing it to, you know, you should die, you should be, you know, we're saying nothing.
Now, how do you compare it to nothing?
A kid who isn't born isn't suffering, right?
So, I mean, I think that the assumption...
I've got a cousin, this really smart little kid, he's like five or something, and the other day he was talking about how he, before he was born, he was saying that all fetuses should have...
But no password, right?
Because they wouldn't understand.
joe rogan
How old is he?
christopher ryan
It's like five, I think.
Because it's boring, you know?
joe rogan
Boring being a fetus.
christopher ryan
Right.
And I was like, well, my aunt was talking to him and she said, well, where were you when you were a fetus?
She said, I was sleepy dead.
And he's like, sleepy dead?
Yeah.
It's not like dead when you die.
It's dead before you're born and you're kind of sleepy.
So it's sleepy dead.
unidentified
Whoa.
christopher ryan
And like, okay, yeah, this is kind of a genius kid.
joe rogan
What if that kid actually knows something?
What if he remembers some shit that we forgot?
unidentified
I'll tell you.
christopher ryan
I mean, this is going to sound crazy, but I remembered.
When I was a kid, I remembered.
joe rogan
You remembered what?
christopher ryan
I remembered the feeling of where I came from before I was born.
joe rogan
What?
christopher ryan
And what happened was...
And this is a weird thing.
I was just talking to Casilda about this recently.
I remembered it as a general...
How can I say this?
What I remember is...
As I got older as a kid, I remember thinking, I'm losing this memory.
I'm losing contact with something I know.
And as my consciousness was getting more sort of aware as a person, I realized that that was a really valuable thing that I was losing.
And so as I was like 12, 13, 14...
I was like, I have to remember this.
I knew I wouldn't remember it as a memory, so I was creating a record of it that I would remember, if that makes any sense to you.
You know what I mean?
Like, I know...
It's like people who have, I forget what it's called, where they don't recognize faces.
Oliver Sacks, the neurologist, has that, and he describes it in one of his books.
And he's like, they've got this face blindness.
So what they'll do is, if they're having a conversation with you...
And they're going to go to the bathroom and they know they're going to come back.
They'll be like, okay, the guy with the blue shirt and the thing and the tattoos is Joe.
You know, just to create a record in his head and then he'll go to the bathroom so when he comes back he'll remember you're Joe.
unidentified
Wow.
christopher ryan
Yeah, it's a really interesting neurological thing.
joe rogan
I would like to see that guy draw a picture of a face.
christopher ryan
Yeah, I wonder how that works.
Do you know Oliver Sacks?
He would be an amazing guest for you.
joe rogan
I don't know.
I'd love to have him on, though.
christopher ryan
But you know who he is.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've heard of him.
I've heard of him actually describe that.
I forget what show I was listening to, but he was actually describing that issue of not knowing what people's faces necessarily look like.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's hard to, like, imagine that.
christopher ryan
It is, right.
Because it's something that's so automatic to us.
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
He also wrote a book about hallucinogens, hallucinations, which was very interesting because it was the first, this came out maybe five years ago, and it was, it struck me as the first, like, mainstream A sort of non-apologetic discussion of the use of hallucinogens by a very mainstream doctor who's written all these bestsellers.
And he talks about when he lived in Topanga in the 60s and he took some acid.
joe rogan
Of course he did.
You have to get in there.
christopher ryan
Exactly.
joe rogan
To go to the pharmacy market to get the acid.
That place is ridiculous.
I was looking at a house there once, and these fucking hippies talked me out of even looking any further.
They were like, the house had a tennis court behind it.
They're like, if you buy the house, you're going to let the community use the tennis court, right?
I go, what?
That's right under my bed.
Like, get the fuck out of here.
No, I'm not going to let...
Well, you fucking people are too much.
Can you imagine all these dirty hippies showing up Sunday morning, you're trying to sleep in, you hear, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Hey, man, that was in bounds.
Knew it wasn't, man.
You should share the score.
Fuck you.
unidentified
That's good.
christopher ryan
You sound like the Californians on Saturday Night Live.
joe rogan
That's them, dude.
christopher ryan
I know.
It's so true.
joe rogan
I want to go back to what you were saying, though, like your memory of before you were born.
You know, I was listening to this Radiolab podcast.
I know that I've said that about a million times.
If you're playing the podcast drinking game, it's time to have a shot.
unidentified
Drink up.
joe rogan
Because I listen to that podcast all the time.
But they were talking about memories and how poor people's memories truly are and how many people...
Like, believe that they have an idea in their head that's carved in stone.
This is what happened.
But if you look at the actual events, the provable actual events in comparison to their idea of what happened, oftentimes they're way off.
christopher ryan
Eyewitness reports are terrible.
joe rogan
Yeah, often people see that when they go back to where they grew up.
You know, and you go back to your home and your house looks smaller, everything looks different.
It's just like, wow, it's like somebody made a replica of where you grew up but did a shitty job because they didn't have all the data.
christopher ryan
Do you ever feel betrayed when you had that experience?
joe rogan
No, no, no.
The opposite for me.
When I went back to where I grew up, it was amazing.
I took my wife and my kids and we walked through the neighborhood there.
It wasn't even a neighborhood.
I lived across the street from the Charles River.
It was this big park-like area.
And I would go fishing.
Down the river, there was like this pond I would catch bass at.
And I took them on these walks that I used to take through the woods.
And I was like, this is a crazy spot to grow up.
I didn't realize how weird it was.
I grew up near this place called Echo Bridge.
And Echo Bridge is in a place called Newton Upper Falls.
And I had a waterfall across the street from my house.
And I never realized how cool this was until I took the kids there and walked around.
I was like, wow, this is a wild place to be.
Like all the places where I used to hang out with my friends and just...
christopher ryan
It's nice, and it wasn't all built up.
There's still some empty space.
joe rogan
It's the Hemlock Gorge Reservation.
That's the area.
I think it's preserved.
christopher ryan
That sounds nice.
I always imagine you like inner city, because I remember you talking about rough neighborhoods and stuff.
joe rogan
I lived in Newton from the time I was 14 to the time I was 17. Well, that was high school, you know, 14 to 17. And then like a year and a half, two years after that, I stayed there.
But before that, I lived in a place called Jamaica Plain.
Jamaica Plain was rough.
We only lived there for about a year and a half, maybe two years at the most.
But I went to high school or grammar school in this, I think it was Curly, I think that was the name of the grammar school.
But it was bad, man.
It was real bad.
Jamaica Plain has become more gentrified now.
But when I lived there in 1979, 1980, I guess it was, somewhere around then.
I think my first year of high school was 81. It was really bad.
There was a lot of, like, bad shit going down.
There were 17-year-old kids that were in the seventh grade.
You know, they would like never graduated and like you'd be in, you know, I was like a little kid and I was going to class and it was just fucking full grown adults that are in my class.
You know, there's guys and girls making out the back of the class was all these like inner city kids like they were so I come from Florida where I lived before that in a college community in Gainesville, Florida and we moved to like the only place in Boston that my parents could afford.
It was this Jamaica Plain place and they worked really hard to get us out of there and moved us to Newton and Newton was like way more urban way more relaxed but Jamaica Plain was fucking sketchy It was sketchy.
There's a lot of crime like there's breaking and enterings in our in our neighborhood all the time You know like we got a dog just to bark to let us know if someone's trying to get into the house It was very weird.
It was a weird place to live and then Newton was a total different place That's cool.
christopher ryan
That's something you and I have in common, moving as kids.
I moved a lot as a kid.
I went to three high schools.
joe rogan
It's real common with people that are interesting, for whatever reason.
christopher ryan
Yeah, I mean, I have a younger sister, and she and I sort of dealt with it in diametrically opposed ways.
Like, she...
I had developed a real need to be part of the community.
So as soon as we moved to...
We lived in Jacksonville, for example.
As soon as we were in Jacksonville, she developed the local accent within a week.
You know, I never developed any accent.
I sort of...
I became the pedantic, arrogant asshole who doesn't need friends.
You know, that's how I dealt with it.
unidentified
Right.
christopher ryan
You know, okay.
I mean, I got used to eating alone in the lunchroom.
You know, like, reading a book.
Like, I got my book.
I'll ignore the rest of you fuckers.
I mean, I made friends, but...
The point was that I wasn't reaching out.
And then that worked great in the rest of my life, traveling all the time, living overseas, all that.
I don't have a home, and you're like this too, right?
You move enough, it's like, well, okay, I lived here for a couple years, I lived here for a couple years, but when people say, don't you miss your home, all your friends, the people you grew up with?
I don't know the people I grew up with, you know, they were stages.
joe rogan
I'm still friends with a couple guys from high school.
christopher ryan
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, one guy from high school, actually.
joe rogan
I have two.
Two buddies from high school that we talk.
One that I'm pretty close with.
I saw him last when I was in Boston.
And, you know, we've known each other since we were like 14. So it's weird, you know, seeing us now.
He has grown kids.
We went to dinner with him and his kids.
His daughter's in her 20s.
I'm like, this is crazy, man.
I've known his wife forever, too.
It's interesting to see.
He grew up in that neighborhood.
He lived there, and we became friends when I moved into the neighborhood.
Almost all my friends, like Joey, Ari, like all these guys moved all over the place.
You know, Duncan, you know, Brian Callens, the worst, like not the worst, I shouldn't say, but the most experienced because he lived in Saudi Arabia.
His family was involved in international finance.
And so he lived in all these crazy Middle Eastern countries.
He lived in Afghanistan, I believe.
christopher ryan
That's a whole different level.
joe rogan
Oh, he lived everywhere, man.
Yeah.
And he's one of the most interesting people I know because of that.
There's pros and cons, I think.
christopher ryan
Definitely.
joe rogan
There's definitely a more calming confidence of growing up in a neighborhood where you know all the people.
But there's also a limiting aspect to that, too, especially if it goes wrong.
christopher ryan
Depends on the neighborhood, right?
joe rogan
Yeah, sure.
A bad neighborhood or if you get labeled as a person in the neighborhood where the kids ostracize or they get mad at you for something.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's like you redefine yourself when you move to new places.
That's like the new girl.
unidentified
Oh, she's the new girl.
joe rogan
Where's she from?
She's from Portland.
Oh, does she smell like feet?
You know, like you see her.
christopher ryan
She's wearing a granny dress.
joe rogan
She's got a patchouli on her thing, dude.
christopher ryan
I like patchouli.
Oh, good for you.
joe rogan
You're the guy.
unidentified
You're the fucking problem.
christopher ryan
I'm not one guy.
I'm the one guy.
I like patchouli.
I like prune juice.
I mean, I know it's a joke, but it tastes good.
joe rogan
It's good for your body, too.
christopher ryan
I guess.
It makes you shit or not shit.
I don't even know.
I know it affects shit somehow.
But, I mean, I just like the flavor.
And patchouli smells good to me.
joe rogan
It's not the worst smell.
I like incense.
That's a very hippie thing.
People get angry at you.
You don't like the smell of incense?
christopher ryan
Not if they're anything but Nag Champa.
I like the Nag Champa.
joe rogan
I've got some stuff laying around here somewhere.
I've got one right there.
Tell me if this one smells good to you.
unidentified
I'm sure it'll be fine, yeah.
christopher ryan
Hey, shout out to Duncan.
joe rogan
Are we shouting out?
White people shouting out?
christopher ryan
Well, you mentioned Duncan, and when I tweeted that I was going to be on the show, everyone's like, oh, you and Joe and Duncan!
joe rogan
Yeah, Duncan couldn't make it.
He's in Big Sur, living the time of his life.
unidentified
He is.
joe rogan
That fucker.
christopher ryan
He likes it up there.
joe rogan
Oh, he loves it up there.
He's trying to talk me into buying a house.
unidentified
Dude, I'll watch your house when you're not there!
christopher ryan
What a favor.
He'd be doing you.
Oh, he would be.
joe rogan
I would do that, too.
I would totally trust him.
christopher ryan
It's pretty cool up there.
I mean, that's...
joe rogan
It's a very unusual place because you can't really support a large population.
christopher ryan
It's like you can only live so far in.
joe rogan
You can't drive in and out.
You're kind of butted up against a mountain.
The water's right there.
It's like, this is all you got.
christopher ryan
You spend time at Esalen, ever?
Talking about hippies?
Never.
joe rogan
No.
christopher ryan
I was invited to do a workshop there.
joe rogan
How's that smell?
Is that okay?
christopher ryan
I don't even smell it yet.
unidentified
You don't smell it?
christopher ryan
It's going that way.
joe rogan
Damn, what's wrong with you?
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
I guess I'm wrong with your nose, son.
You should smell the fuck out of that.
christopher ryan
Oh, there it is, yeah.
joe rogan
How's that?
christopher ryan
It's nice.
joe rogan
You sure?
Don't lie to me, man.
I'll put it right out.
christopher ryan
No, it's all right.
I hardly noticed that.
I tell you.
I mean, I don't know.
It must be the Coke.
Oh, sorry.
Did I say that out loud?
joe rogan
How dare you?
That's a bad drug.
Don't you understand?
christopher ryan
That's a drug.
I had access.
I mean, you're in this position all the time, I'm sure, but having access to the best of the best of something.
I knew a guy in college who was the son of an oil minister from a country I won't name, just to keep me out of trouble.
He had a private jet.
He used to fly to Colombia.
He had a diplomatic bag, so he could bring anything into the country.
joe rogan
Oh my God.
christopher ryan
He'd bring this shit into the country, and he was in this frat, and I knew someone who was in the frat, and I was never a frat boy at all, but they would invite me, and these yellow rocks of coke, you know?
I mean, I went to this dumbass college where everybody was rich, so the drug scene there was off the charts.
And I've done the best Coke there is, right?
I mean, I know the guy who invented MDMA. You know, it's like I've had these really good connections for drugs.
unidentified
And Coke sucks.
The best Coke in the world is shit.
christopher ryan
I don't get it.
unidentified
Wow.
christopher ryan
I mean, my sense is that it affects a certain personality structure in a really pleasant way, and I don't have that structure.
So for me, hallucinogens are like, boom, that's pushing my button, right?
Coke just made me fucking nervous and drink too much.
joe rogan
Well, you're a self-deprecating guy, and you joke around a lot, and you're also introspective.
And I think that one of the things that people don't like about people that are coked up is that they want to talk about themselves.
They want to tell you how fucking badass they are.
They want to brag.
They want to talk about, like, making money.
We're going to buy this forest.
We're going to fucking...
You know what I mean?
Mike Young used to always talk about how people on coke always want to start a business with you.
And it's really kind of true.
It's like they always have these crazy grand plans.
I've never been interested in it.
I got lucky and I ducked it.
When I was a kid, I've told this story a hundred times, but I had a friend, my friend that I'm still friends with in high school, his cousin used to sell it.
And his life went down the toilet, and I watched him wither away, lost like a shitload of weight, became weird.
You know, just always on coke.
And when he wasn't on coke, he was just exhausted.
You know, it's just like, Jesus, that looks like knowing someone who got bit by a vampire.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Like, oh my God.
Like, you got that bug.
They got you.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
It's like you're taking all the energy from part of your life and concentrating it in the few hours after you do the coke.
And like, well, what are you going to do with all that energy except irritate people?
joe rogan
But I knew a girl, and she was a great girl.
She wasn't a mean person.
She wasn't nasty, materialistic.
She was beautiful.
She was really nice and sweet and kind.
But fuck, she loved coke.
Goddamn.
And she would feel bad about it.
She'd go, I fucking love it.
I love doing coke.
And I'd be like, really?
Like, what?
You know, I was not curious enough to want to do it, but listening to her, you know, she knew it was bad, knew she shouldn't do it, didn't want to do it anymore.
But she'd tell you, Goddamn, what I'm doing, I love doing coke.
christopher ryan
In my experience, the people who tend to get really hooked on coke are people who have issues.
They feel bad about themselves.
They feel they've got a lack of self-esteem.
They feel like they're not good enough.
They're not whatever.
There's shame and all that.
Because the coke takes that away for a while.
joe rogan
That totally makes sense in this case because this woman her mother was like really overbearing and her mother was like super alpha successful.
Her mother was a single mom and was like like no man's gonna fucking run me and so she was a lawyer and she ran successful business.
She had a law firm and she was like super like Intense with her daughter about achievement, about pursuing things, about, you know, don't eat the wrong foods and, you know, eat, you know, it was like really like overbearing and gave her a hard time about her weight.
Like you're too fat.
You're never going to be a model.
And like, oh, and so I guess the Coke was like, oh, free.
craig jones
I don't have to think about it.
joe rogan
Give her like maybe she had a deficit created by her mom's constant, you know, never letting her just be herself.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
You know who Gabor Mate is?
joe rogan
No.
Gabor Mate.
I didn't know the name.
I've only seen it written.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
He's a cool guy.
If you ever want to have him on the show, let me know.
He's a friend of mine.
He's a very interesting guy.
He's a doctor who works with addicts.
He's been working with addicts in Vancouver, in the slum part of Vancouver for a long time.
A lot of real down-and-out people.
And he also is very interested in alternative approaches to addiction.
He's written about ayahuasca as a way of dealing with addiction, treating addicts and all that.
But anyway, his theory is that all addiction is due to trauma.
It has nothing to do with the substance or the activity.
That's just how it manifests, right?
But it's all about psychological trauma.
It's all trying to alleviate suffering of some point, of some kind.
And it's interesting, his research sort of meshes very well with this experiment that was done, also in British Columbia.
I can't remember.
Williamson, I think, was the scientist's name.
You know those famous studies where they give rats, like, they've got a water bottle that's just water and then another one that's got coke in it?
And the rats will just keep doing the coke and they'll forget to eat and then they, you know, like, die.
Like, these people you're talking about lost all this weight and just, like, completely focused.
This guy looked at that.
He was a professor, a scientist.
He looked at that and he's like, okay, well, that's the sort of main study that everybody cites that shows that Coke is addictive and it's Coke that causes the problem and it's the substance and molecular problems.
But what if we took those rats, same kind of rats, but instead of just being in a cage where there's nothing to do, put them in a really interesting environment where there are lots of other options.
There are lots of other rats.
There are tubes to go through and things to climb and things to hide under and lots of stimulation, right?
And then let's try it.
They try it.
What happens?
The rats do the coke once or twice and then walk away from it.
Never go back.
Right.
So there's an argument to be made, a strong argument, that it's not about substances.
Like I was saying, it's about the way this substance intersects with whatever your particular suffering is.
joe rogan
Right, so these rats in a cage are obviously suffering because they're not in a natural environment.
christopher ryan
They're in a fucking cage.
There's nothing to do except, like, get high, so they get high.
joe rogan
That's a very good point that I never considered.
That is a very, very good point.
christopher ryan
It's called Rat Park.
If anyone wants to Google it, just Google Rat Park, because that's what he called this, you know, like, sort of enclosure that he made for the rats.
joe rogan
Imagine being a rat, being stuck in a fucking fluorescent lighting room, and the fucking metal cage, and the little water bottle you gotta suck on, big tooth, ugh, the fucking life they live is dog shit.
christopher ryan
Yeah, you're in a prison cell.
I imagine, you got a guy in solitary confinement, right, and you're offering him to get high.
Of course he's gonna get high.
joe rogan
And you're being surrounded by giants.
Everywhere you go, there's just enormous creatures who could easily reach in and just snuff your life out by squeezing.
christopher ryan
It's ridiculous.
And by nature, you're terrified, right?
Because you're a prey animal.
joe rogan
Yeah, you should be running from everything, and all of a sudden you can't run, ever.
christopher ryan
You can't hide, right.
joe rogan
You're in a cage, and they just reach in and grab you.
And they fucking give you coke.
unidentified
Yeah.
christopher ryan
Which makes it even more apparent.
unidentified
What a fucking shitty life!
joe rogan
Goddamn, PETA. You might have a point.
christopher ryan
I interviewed this guy recently talking about animal stuff.
He was doing his PhD in University of Pennsylvania.
And he was working in psychology, but there were chimps involved in his research.
And so they would come into these cages, but they had this big area outside, back behind the cages, right?
So at night they would go hang out and there were trees and stuff and whatever.
And so this is in the, I guess, 60s or 70s.
And so he would hang out until everybody went home and he was alone.
And then he'd sneak back into the area where the chimps were, where he wasn't allowed.
Nobody was allowed, right?
Like walking around with chimps.
But he was like, fuck it, if they kill me, I don't think they'll kill me, no problem.
So he was a hippie, right?
Actually, he's the guy who now owns this chain of paleo restaurants in Portland.
Really cool guy, Richard.
joe rogan
Figures.
Yeah.
christopher ryan
He opened the first mountain bike shop in the country.
He's a very good businessman.
Then he went to Portland because he wanted to be in a place where you could get all your supplies for a restaurant, all the food, within a hundred mile radius.
And he studied all over the country, and he said Portland's a place where everything can be grown within 100 miles.
He sort of was ahead of the mountain biking craze, then he was ahead of the sort of farm-to-table thing, and he opened a chain called Laughing Planet, which there were like 15 or 20 of these vegetarian burrito shops in Portland.
Sold that because he had quintuple bypass surgery.
joe rogan
Whoa.
christopher ryan
And he thought he was going to die.
Sold that.
Bought this beautiful farm where he grows stuff now.
It's just amazing.
joe rogan
Quintuple bypass surgery and he's a vegan mountain biker?
christopher ryan
He was a vegetarian.
Not vegan, but he was a vegetarian.
And so that's what he said.
He's like, I work out.
I'm eating vegetarian for 20 years.
What the fuck?
And he started reading about, like, wait a minute, this idea of low-fat is bullshit.
joe rogan
Oh, he wasn't taking healthy fats.
christopher ryan
Right.
So now he's shifted to paleo, and now he's got this expanding business of paleo restaurants.
Anyway, what am I talking about?
Oh, so he would go back with these chimps.
And he told this hilarious story where he's with this chimp, and he'd go back there and smoke a joint at the end of the day, and the chimps are wandering around.
And one day this chimp comes over and sits down next to him, and he's smoking a joint, and the chimp reaches out.
joe rogan
No!
He does not get this chimp high.
christopher ryan
He hands the joint to the chimp.
unidentified
No, he does not.
christopher ryan
The chimp hits it and gives it back to him.
joe rogan
Oh, my God.
That would be the greatest video ever on YouTube.
There's one of a chimp fucking a frog.
Have you ever seen that one?
christopher ryan
Oh, I have seen that.
That's kind of sad, yeah.
joe rogan
Not for the chimp.
But one of a chimp smoking a joint with a dude, especially a hippie, that would be the ultimate.
christopher ryan
Don't bogart it, man.
And if you did bogart it, what are you going to do?
joe rogan
You better just give the chimp the joint and shut the fuck up before it rips your arms off.
christopher ryan
Exactly.
And what's a high chimp like, you know?
joe rogan
Probably pretty mellow.
christopher ryan
It's like a paranoid rat.
Like, how do you know?
joe rogan
Well, that's another thing.
We're talking about rats being in cages.
I got super high once, and I wrote a piece way back a long time ago on my blog.
Before my 2009 special, before I started podcasting, I used to write a lot and put it up in blog form.
And one of the things I wrote about is, it's called Animal Prison.
And it became like the foundation for a lot of jokes that I went to use in some of my specials.
But it was about getting high.
I got really high once, and I went to the zoo.
And I was super depressed.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Not, you know, me personally, my personal life, but being at the zoo stoned made me, like, especially edibles.
You know, I had eaten a pot something or another cookie or something like that, and I was, like, really fucked up about this.
I'm like, this is just not fair.
It's cruel.
It's cruel, and it's cruel in a way we're insensitive to.
And the joke was like, hey, man...
I watched the chimps.
They were playing with the tires, swinging around.
Looks like they're having a good time.
I'm like, yeah.
Well, you can go to prison, and you'll see dudes playing basketball.
It doesn't mean it's awesome.
People do what they have to do, and they're in prison to have fun, but they don't want to be there.
And that's the same thing with these animals.
The idea that somehow or another they're being saved...
I guess we're supposed to accept that they're doing conservation work, for sure, and that some of these animals can only exist in captivity in this day and age, or at least we have to have some of them in captivity to ensure their survival, because humans are pushing in on their area.
Where they live, but fuck man, that's, especially with intelligent animals, that's depressing as shit.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
I've got a friend, I just did a podcast with him the other day, he's sort of been hired by the whole marine mammal consortium To try to help them deal with their image problem from blackfish and blah blah blah, right?
So we were talking about this and he's been working a lot in this place in Florida where the dolphins are used for therapeutic, you know, with like vets with PTSD and kids who are autistic and stuff and the dolphins seem to have a real sensitivity and there's an interaction.
And a lot of them are born in captivity.
If you let them loose, they'd be dead within hours.
You know, they don't know how to survive and stuff.
But anyway, we're talking about this.
And, you know, I said, like, okay, you know, what are you going to do about the...
I understand he has good arguments about the dolphins and the smaller animals.
But, like, what are you going to do about the orcas, man?
You know, how do you fix that?
And he said, there's no way to fix that.
Like, they just should not be there.
Because you can't build an enclosure that is even arguably big enough and interesting enough for them.
And they're social, so you can't just have one.
You've got to have, like, 15 of them.
You know, they're very community-based animals.
joe rogan
Isn't it possible that they could take an area in a bay, like a very large area, and take all the world's captive orcas and transport them to this large bay?
Like take a large area in a part of the world that we don't go, but it's habitable.
christopher ryan
Right.
joe rogan
Inhabitable for them.
And then, you know, fence something off underwater.
Spend a lot of money to fix this issue.
And then slowly but surely reintroduce them to the wild.
Give them a steady source of food.
Like, provide them with food.
And then provide them with food that you have to catch.
Like, give them more and more food that's like you're gonna let a tuna go or whatever the fuck it is.
unidentified
Habituate them.
joe rogan
Yeah, habituate them and make it a project.
I don't buy the idea that it's impossible to take them and let them live in the wild.
You can take a 40-year-old man and teach him how to go forage through the woods.
I mean, look at Survivorman.
That fucking guy, he taught himself how to do that shit.
He can exist for months at a time out there in the wilderness.
And there's a lot of people that do that.
They have survival skills.
That's what we call it.
We used to call Hunting and gathering is now survival skills.
It's not just existing as a person, foraging for food like people used to do for fucking untold thousands of years.
I think you could teach orcas, but it would have to take a long time.
It would cost a lot of money.
But you owe that to the fucking orcas, man.
christopher ryan
I agree.
I agree.
But, you know, we get into what we owe to other beings.
Sure.
You ever read Peter Singer?
You know him?
joe rogan
No.
christopher ryan
He wrote Animal Liberation, which sort of started the whole animal rights frenzy in the 70s, whenever it was.
Really interesting philosopher teaches at Princeton now, I think.
And he made a really interesting argument about using primates in drug testing.
Because, you know, the argument there is, well, they're close to humans, so their responses to pharmaceuticals and things is as close as we're going to get for our own testing.
And what he said, he's one of these guys who just thinks really clearly wherever it goes, and he doesn't give a shit.
And so his argument was...
Okay, a chimpanzee has the intelligence and sort of demonstrable awareness of a three or four-year-old kid.
So they're beings.
They're thinking.
They're experiencing.
They've got emotions.
They've got relationships.
There's no question, right?
They're not fish.
They're not, you know...
And every year, thousands of babies are born with no brain.
I forget the medical term for it, but their brain never developed in the fetus and they're born.
joe rogan
Thousands, really?
christopher ryan
Yeah, maybe it's hundreds, I don't know, but a lot.
And his point was, These babies are all going to die.
They're born.
They put them on these machines, keep them going.
They're feeding tubes and whatever.
But they're never going to survive.
They feel no pain because they have no brains.
So why aren't we testing pharmaceuticals on them?
unidentified
Wow.
christopher ryan
Because they're human.
joe rogan
That's some dark shit.
christopher ryan
Well, it is.
joe rogan
You're right.
christopher ryan
But it makes sense.
joe rogan
It certainly makes sense logically.
It's the emotional factor.
christopher ryan
Instead, we're torturing these living, thinking, aware beings.
joe rogan
Yeah.
The idea being, of course, the argument against that is that if it saves one human being, who cares about the chimp?
That's the idea.
If it saves your wife, if your wife is saved, the person you love more than anyone else in this world is saved because They tortured some chimp.
It's not a beautiful thing.
It's very dark, but you would be happy that that chimp gave up his life.
christopher ryan
Right, but I think that's why we have governments, right?
To think beyond that personal level.
Because that's what war is, right?
unidentified
Right.
christopher ryan
War is innocent people are dying so that, you know, and, you know, there is no good choice.
Right.
It's like, OK, a thousand innocent people die there or a hundred thousand innocent people die here.
Well, a government exists to kill those thousand innocent people.
joe rogan
Isn't that the real problem?
Like, what makes someone uniquely qualified to be the person that makes a very difficult choice?
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
And really, no one deserves to be the person who decides this group of people dies, so this group of people lives, or that this monkey gets a battery cable attached to his dick.
christopher ryan
Right.
That's why psychopaths do so well.
joe rogan
Because they're not worried about the consequences.
christopher ryan
Because they're able to make those decisions.
joe rogan
Is it psycho or sociopaths?
christopher ryan
I've never really understood the difference between the two, to be honest with you.
joe rogan
I think sociopaths don't feel empathy, and psychopaths are prone to more violent behavior, if that makes any sense.
I think sociopaths, from what has been explained to me, and I might be butchering this, probably should look, but I think the idea being that they're not feeling empathy, like the rest of us are.
If by their actions they get ahead, but somebody else suffers, it doesn't bother them.
Whereas for you, you would do something that would hurt someone's feelings.
You'd be like, man, I just can't fucking sleep.
This is so freaking me out.
They don't have that.
That sense of empathy.
christopher ryan
I have a friend who wrote a book called The Psychopath Test.
joe rogan
Oh, I've read that.
christopher ryan
Yeah, John Ronson?
joe rogan
Yeah.
I started reading it, I should say.
I think I bailed on it.
I got bored.
christopher ryan
Yeah, well, you get the idea pretty quickly.
joe rogan
I'm all ADD on that shit like that, man.
I'm really good with a documentary on stuff like that, but getting deep into the dry issues of psychopaths and sociopaths.
What's his take on it?
christopher ryan
You know, essentially that psychopaths are very prominent in fields like Wall Street, military.
They do really well in areas where you have to make decisions that hurt people and you don't give a shit.
joe rogan
Here's an article in Psychology Today that explains it in a way.
Many forensic psychologists, psychiatrists, and criminologists use the terms sociopathy and psychopathy interchangeably.
Leading experts disagree on whether there are meaningful differences between the two conditions.
I contend that there are clear and significant distinctions.
Okay.
Sociopaths and psychopaths share.
This is what they share.
A disregard for the laws and social norms, a disregard for the rights of others, a failure to feel remorse or guilt, a tendency to display violent behavior.
In addition to their commonalities, sociopaths and psychopaths also have their own unique behavioral characteristics as well.
Sociopaths tend to be nervous and easily agitated.
They are volatile and prone to emotional outbursts, including fits of rage.
Psychopaths, on the other hand, are unable to form emotional attachments or feel real empathy with others, although they often have disarming or even charming personalities.
Interesting.
That's what I would think of as sociopaths.
Psychopaths are very manipulative and can easily gain people's trust.
They learn to mimic emotions.
Now, I've met people that do that, despite their inability to actually feel them and will appeal normal to unsuspecting people.
I've seen that.
I've seen that where I've had conversations with people and I realize that they're like mimicking emotions.
Like, oh yeah, man, it's horrible that that happened to him.
Like, oh, you don't care at all.
Like you're feeling like no, you know, there's like certain feelings that people have where you feel, you see it in them that they feel remorse or they feel sad or they feel empathy.
And then there's other people that are like faking that where it's like, They're doing bad acting on a soap opera.
christopher ryan
Especially in L.A., dude.
I mean, I was on a TV show here two weeks ago or something, and it struck me how there are concentric circles of bullshit that get more intense the closer you get to the cameras.
That's so true.
You check into the hotel, and they're like, Hey, Dr. Ryan, nice to meet you.
Kind of light, but friendly, but they don't give a fuck, right?
And then you got the driver who's like, hey, is everything good?
Can I help you with that, sir?
And then you get the assistant producer who greets you at the door.
Oh, we're so thrilled you're here, Dr. Ryan!
And then you're actually on stage in front of the cameras and the shit is just like up to your fucking neck.
It's unbelievable.
Like all the fake emotions.
joe rogan
What kind of a show was it?
christopher ryan
Well, I'm legally...
joe rogan
Can't talk about it.
christopher ryan
I can't name it, but it was like a talk show, you know, kind of like where I was talking about monogamy and, you know, hey, you know...
And the segment before me went long.
It was about dirty underwear.
joe rogan
That's important, dude.
That's important to discuss.
Are there issues?
Is there bacteria?
Can people die?
What about vaccinations?
They protect you against dirty underwear?
christopher ryan
And I'm not saying it's a pretty...
I've never seen the show, so I don't know if it's a good show or a bad show, but it's just...
And I've experienced this in lots of shows.
Not this show, all right?
But lots of shows where, like, you're...
TV, particularly.
You know, why am I talking to you about TV? But in my experience, at least the way I interact with TV, it's just such...
unidentified
Bullshit.
joe rogan
Yeah, it can be.
It certainly can be.
But there's some shows that you do that aren't bullshit.
Like the Jimmy Kimmel show, for instance.
You talk to Jimmy Kimmel.
He's like totally there.
christopher ryan
He seems like a real guy.
joe rogan
He's a real guy.
christopher ryan
He's totally there.
I often wonder about it.
I was talking to this buddy doing the Dolphin stuff.
He dated a woman who was on a rebound from George Clooney.
Talking about a tough gig, right?
Like you're the rebound from George Clooney.
joe rogan
I would take that over the rock.
I'll take George Clooney all day.
christopher ryan
All day.
I dated a woman who told me I was even better than Fabio in bed.
joe rogan
You should never know that a chick fucked Fabio.
You're taking Fabio's sloppy seconds?
Good lord.
unidentified
I know.
joe rogan
Good lord.
christopher ryan
Well, she didn't tell me until it was too late to change course, but it's one of the most dubious compliments I've ever received.
joe rogan
That's interesting.
christopher ryan
Even better than Fabio.
joe rogan
So, Jimmy Kimmel was dating a girl who was on the rebound from George Clooney?
christopher ryan
No, not Jimmy Kimmel, my buddy Chris.
joe rogan
Oh, your buddy was.
christopher ryan
But anyway, that got us talking about famous people who seem cool, like George Clooney.
To me, George Clooney seems like if you hung out with him, he would actually be a cool guy.
joe rogan
Yeah, I would imagine he'd be pretty cool.
christopher ryan
How hard is that?
joe rogan
For a guy like that, who's probably a thousand times more famous than my level of fame, he's probably legitimately a thousand times more famous than me.
That's pretty intense fame.
He can't go anywhere.
When George Clooney shows up, helicopters will start circling the restaurant that he's at, and people will just jump out of buses with cameras and try to touch him.
christopher ryan
And it relates to what we were just talking about, like that fake emotion thing, right?
How much true input is he getting from human beings?
joe rogan
Well, he goes to other countries.
That's one of the things that I think benefits you for a guy like that.
I think he's got like a fucking villa in France.
France.
Notice how I said France because I have a video shirt.
I didn't say France.
Okay.
I'm not like that.
He's got mad cash.
That's cool because it insulates him from a lot of the bullshit.
christopher ryan
Yeah, but it also attracts the bullshit.
joe rogan
I was going to say, my buddy is friends with Johnny Depp.
christopher ryan
Also in France.
joe rogan
And he spent some time with Johnny Depp in England.
And he said it was the most ridiculous scene you've ever seen in your life.
The guy can't go anywhere.
Everywhere he goes, there's people with earpieces in and suits.
And they follow him everywhere.
They're peripheral.
And you try to go outside.
He was going outside to have a cigarette.
And they swarm on him.
We got your ride somewhere.
Do you need something like you're always a cater to?
Yeah, so he lives in this weird insulated world We like runs from restaurant to restaurant and has chefs come over his house and cook He can't go to stores everywhere he goes.
He's being swarmed upon and for him Apparently it happened after the Pirates of the Caribbean movies that like took things to this critical nuclear place Where is that right now where he said just like he's a story and He's an object of attention everywhere he goes.
It's got to be really hard to keep your shit together when you're like that.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Your version of reality is so fucked.
christopher ryan
Yeah, I mean, you're not getting the sort of feedback that you need just to, like, know what's real, you know?
Yeah.
It's interesting, the character that put him over, you know, into that world of strangeness was based on Keith Richards, right?
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
Yesterday I was talking to my friend Tao, who, he's an Italian prince, talking about European...
joe rogan
Damn!
christopher ryan
He was married to Olivia Wilde for seven years, you know?
So he's sort of like, he's like in this world, a strange world.
And he was talking, his father was this crazy Italian prince who hung out with Fellini and Brigitte Bardot and Salvador Dali.
And, you know, he sort of started the Dolce Vita in Italy in the 50s and squandered this huge family fortune, like in his lifetime on women and boats and parties and all this shit, you know?
joe rogan
I love him.
christopher ryan
Yeah, really interesting cat.
Anyway, Tao is a great flamenco guitarist, and we were talking about, like, how do you get in, you know, when did you start playing guitar?
And he said, well, when I was 13, the Rolling Stones came to, like, Rome or wherever they were playing, and my dad is an old friend of Keith Richards, and he took me to the hotel where the Stones were staying, and Keith had, like, a whole floor to himself, right?
And we went in and there were all these people and all this scene.
And actually Keith Richards' father was there, he mentioned.
And my dad mentioned to Keith, like, hey, Tao's learning guitar.
And Keith had a flamenco guitar there.
And he picked it up and he did a few, like, riffs.
And he said to him, if you want to learn to play guitar, learn flamenco.
Because if you can play flamenco, you can play anything.
joe rogan
Wow.
christopher ryan
And Tao now is a...
Fucking great flamenco guitarist.
And he's like, man, if Keith Richards tells you what to do, that's what you do.
He fucking went with it.
It's great.
joe rogan
That makes sense, because that flamenco is very fast finger movements.
You would have to develop some incredible coordination of your fingers.
christopher ryan
Yeah, like doing a Stones riff after that is easy.
joe rogan
Yeah, I've always loved music, but I've never had any inclination to learn an instrument.
I love it.
Do you regret that?
Nope.
There's not enough time.
I have enough forms of expression that I'm enjoying.
I think it would be cool as fuck, man.
You watch a Jimi Hendrix solo, and you go, good lord, can you imagine if you could just...
christopher ryan
Just the feeling of being in it that deeply.
The flow, you know?
It's just...
That's what I regret.
I never had the discipline.
I took electric guitar lessons for two weeks and quit, and I took piano for a week and quit.
I was just too much of a fuck off as a kid.
I could never get over the hump to where it started being enjoyable.
joe rogan
Yeah, you need to be obsessed.
To get really good at anything, whether it's the drums or the guitar or playing chess, I mean, it's all the same thing, really.
It's like you need to just get obsessed at that particular discipline.
Whatever it is that it takes to get really good at it, a big part of what makes someone really good at anything is this crazy obsession.
If you don't have that obsession, you'll just drift in and out from one thing to the other until you find the thing that you really are obsessed with.
christopher ryan
Now, obsession is defined, you know, in the psychological terms as a pathology, right?
Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
And, you know, this is a very subversive kind of thought, but it's like, in our society, this relates back to the psychopaths who attain great success.
I mean, are most really successful people responding to some deep trauma?
You know what I mean?
Like they say, comedians, you know, there's some need for approval and, you know, make people laugh, make people love you, you know, because whatever your family structure...
I don't know as many comedians as you do, but, you know, you always hear that, right?
You know, because I needed the attention in actors.
Like, they need people looking at them.
They need to be on stage.
They're, like, drinking that up because there's some need.
It nourishes them on some level.
joe rogan
Right.
christopher ryan
So I wonder, like, is there...
You know, like, I'm thinking about people who say, like, I learned to play guitar so I could get laid, you know, because the girls were...
I guess I didn't think of it that way.
Nobody told me I would get laid.
joe rogan
Maybe if you and your friends got together and you were like, man, we're having a hard time getting laid.
Okay, here's the thing.
christopher ryan
Let's form a band.
joe rogan
We're going to make a band.
I think you probably wouldn't be as good as if you guys were like, man, look, the Stones were our age when they got together.
Let's just fucking do this, guys.
If you really had this desire to produce something that people love.
That's what you kind of have to do.
I think to get to be a Keith Richards, you have to have this desire to produce something that people are going to love.
Because when you listen to his guitar riffs, or any great guitarist, Stevie Ray Vaughan, anyone, they have to have this deep desire to connect with just the correct sounds that's coming out of their mind, their imagination, their Their skill, their interpretation of the moment.
That's why people like when someone does a guitar solo, the idea being that this guy's just feeling it.
It's not the exact same solo every time.
Every time they're doing it, if a guy just starts riffing and everybody starts cheering and going along with it, you want to see what's in that guy right at that moment.
Expresses itself through all the discipline and all the years that he's practiced guitar and then the finger coordination that it's able to achieve.
And you know, there's some shit that's like, you could tell they're just kind of, they're just going fast.
You know, there's going fast.
unidentified
Shredders.
joe rogan
Yeah, there's people that shred and it's really cool and it's really impressive.
And then there's some Stevie Ray Vaughan shit.
There's some Stevie Ray Vaughan where you feel like him crying through the guitar.
There's this emotion that's attached to it and that people connect to.
christopher ryan
And when you see Stevie Ray Vaughan's version of Little Wing, you see a great guitarist Inhabiting and loving another great guitarist, you know, there's something really beautiful about that.
joe rogan
Fuck yeah, dude.
Fuck yeah.
His version of Voodoo Child is the only version I accept other than Hendrix.
christopher ryan
Right.
joe rogan
Obviously, I'm a huge Hendrix fan.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
I mean, that's why I named this the Joe Rogan Experience to rip off Hendrix.
unidentified
Oh, really?
joe rogan
Yeah.
Huge.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
Always.
From the time I was a little kid.
I mean, he just, he has a special quality to him.
Like, that song Voodoo Child, to me, like, that just...
christopher ryan
The opening, yeah.
joe rogan
Where the fuck did that come?
Who did that before him?
I mean, compare music before Hendrix and after Hendrix.
It's like, I really believe, especially Voodoo Child, there's something about that beginning riff.
Bam!
Like when he really gets into it, it's like, God, he was on some new place.
He was in some new dimension when he was...
christopher ryan
And restring the guitar.
Like, fuck that.
I'm not learning that.
I'm doing it my way.
He's just like so unconcerned with what came before in a way, you know?
joe rogan
Yeah.
unidentified
Drugs.
joe rogan
He was on drugs.
christopher ryan
Well, that's what I was going to say.
And honestly, the first time...
It's special drugs, not coke, right?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
No, he was on all sorts of different drugs.
christopher ryan
Acid, generally, yeah.
I mean, the...
There it is.
There it is.
joe rogan
Hit that.
Crank that shit up.
Listen to this.
What you really have to think about is this is the late 1960s when this guy comes out with this.
Now, if you just go ten years before that, you're dealing with Buddy Holly.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Which is great music, but this is just some next-level shit.
unidentified
Like, listen to this part.
joe rogan
This is one dude, by the way.
christopher ryan
And the distortion.
joe rogan
I have a few all-time favorite songs.
I don't have like an all-time favorite song, but I listen to that motherfucker when I'm in my car on the way to the gym.
I'll time it for like the last five minutes before I get to the gym is Voodoo Child.
Because it's just fucking blasted.
Put my phone on airplane mode.
Fuck you.
And hear this?
Cranked.
Always high.
It just touches your DNA. You feel that guy's expression right through the sound.
christopher ryan
I get that with...
Do you ever listen to Danny California?
Red Hot Chili Peppers?
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
christopher ryan
Yeah, there's a guitar.
There's a thing that like the whole song builds to this fucking wild guitar lead near the end.
And like if I'm working out or running or something, I always have that on my playlist because I just there's like energy comes out of the ether, you know, it's amazing.
joe rogan
Yeah, they had a cover of Higher Ground.
That was one of the few covers that I actually enjoyed as much as the original, just like Steve Ray Vaughan's version of Voodoo Child.
christopher ryan
There's some covers that are better.
I really love that genre of music, where a cover gets the essence of the song in a way that the original performer may have missed.
There are a few examples, I mean, all along the Watchtower.
I think Hendrix does that better than Dylan.
And Dylan actually said that as well.
joe rogan
It's just so different.
His version is a different song.
I mean, it's just so different.
And, you know, here's one that people don't talk about.
Suspicious Minds.
Dwight Yoakam did a cover of Suspicious Minds.
christopher ryan
Elvis, right.
joe rogan
It's better than Elvis.
People get mad.
christopher ryan
Fuck you, white people.
Fine Young Cannibals did a version of it, which isn't bad.
joe rogan
They did a great version, too.
christopher ryan
It's a funny song, Suspicious Minds, too.
It is.
It's Elvis saying, oh, come on, baby.
You know I wouldn't lie to you.
Who are you going to believe?
Me or your lying eyes, right?
joe rogan
Especially in the context of Elvis' life.
unidentified
Exactly.
christopher ryan
You're on the coast, dude.
unidentified
Come on, baby.
christopher ryan
It's like JFK saying, hey, I'm a one-woman man.
Yeah, sure you are, dude.
joe rogan
Well, not only that, Elvis was probably on so many pills, he didn't know if he was a monogamous.
christopher ryan
Oh, when he was the drug czar.
joe rogan
Oh, he was drifting in and out of consciousness all day long.
christopher ryan
Poor guy.
Talk about trauma leading to great fame, right?
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
In a way, yeah.
Damaged soul, you know, seeking approval from the world.
joe rogan
Well, I often wonder if what we're seeing when we see great resonating forms of expression, whether it's art or whether it's comedy or any music...
I always wonder if what we're looking at is a mathematical equation, if we're looking at like a yin and a yang, an ebb and a pull, and that the ebb, you know, whatever it was that created this great deficit responds, the body, the mind, the soul, the spirit responds with this incredible work of art to sort of make up for all the trauma that it experienced when it was young,
which is why It's really tough to find someone who had this really ultra-privileged life, who was accepted and loved and nurtured in every way, who becomes this really fascinating, great artist.
What you usually find is these people that are in pain and torn up.
Exactly.
Yeah, and I often wonder if we're looking at it in a cultural context, and we sort of, oh, that guy's an asshole, or his life sucked, or she was abused, or he was neglected.
And we're looking at it in terms of like these definitions that we've already categorized in our mind.
But in fact, what it really is, is like math.
christopher ryan
It all evens out.
joe rogan
Yeah.
We're looking at a minus and a positive.
We're looking at a Jimi Hendrix, this young black man in this incredibly racist world who comes along right at the moment of this psychedelic acceptance where the whole world, especially young people, are turning on in a way that they never have before.
The Beatles come along.
They do the White Album.
People are freaking out.
Clapton.
christopher ryan
Pink Floyd.
joe rogan
Layla.
Pink Floyd.
And then all of a sudden, this dude comes along who's dressed like a fucking Indian.
He's got a headband on, and he's playing music from outer space.
christopher ryan
Chewing gum.
joe rogan
Yeah, I mean, you know, Phil Hartman, rest his soul, who's a good friend from news radio, and he grew up when he was young, rather.
He lived in Hollywood, and he worked as like a stagehand.
When Jimi Hendrix played the whiskey.
And so he was right there with Jimi Hendrix holding the speaker because sometimes the speakers would fall off the stage.
Like they were on the edge of the stage and you had to be there in case something happened.
So he was there when Hendrix first burst on the scene.
So he's as close to Hendrix as you are to me.
unidentified
Right.
christopher ryan
Talk about a front row seat, right?
joe rogan
And he played guitar.
Phil did everything.
He was a true genius.
I mean, he really could do anything.
And he had an incredible work ethic, that guy.
Like, we joke around about it.
We had this thing we did at the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
He got a star earlier this year.
And Stephen Root and Candy Alexander and I were joking around about how Phil had these notes.
Like, he would have, uh, his script would be, he would have tabs for each scene, and, like, these different color tabs for every scene that he was in, and everything would be highlighted, and he would have notes and stickums, and everything was, like, super organized, and we were always like, shh, can I borrow your script?
You know, like, nobody could find their fucking script, but Phil had his shit in a binder, he would take his thing, he would punch holes in them, stick them in a binder, you know, he was super-duper organized and anal about that kind of shit, but one of his greatest moments, you know, When we were friends, somewhere along the line he started smoking weed.
Like, all the time.
This was before I actually smoked weed.
And he did it because he had a lot of problems.
There's a lot of marital issues, obviously, that led to his wife killing him.
But he enjoyed, like, after work was done, not while he was there, but after work was done, he enjoyed getting high.
He loved getting high and going on a boat.
And he had a boat, and he would take his boat out, and he would just love being high, sailing.
And he was telling me one time, we were hanging out in his room, it was after filming, and he was high.
And he was telling me that story about him working at this club and holding the speakers for Hendrix.
And to this day, it's like one of my favorite memories of him.
You know, because I could see him as this young guy.
It's like he was so fascinated by everything.
He's the only guy that I've ever met that I went to a strip club with and it didn't feel creepy.
Because he sat down.
He sat down.
I could say this now because he's dead.
If he was alive, I'd probably not tell you this story.
But he used to love to go to this place called Bob's Classy Lady.
And it was in the valley.
unidentified
That's great.
joe rogan
And Phil took me there.
And he would sit by the stage and the girls would come out and dance and he'd give them money.
And he was like a genuine, childlike enthusiasm for their bodies.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
You know, they'd be like moving in front and be like, wow, you're beautiful.
Oh, you're beautiful.
And he was high as fuck.
Just high as fuck.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
And he was watching these girls dance and stick their genitals in his face and he just was loving it.
He was loving it in a way that wasn't creepy.
It was weird.
It was like he had this almost like...
Innocence about the way he was appreciating their bodies that I didn't feel weird being near him while this was happening.
Because it was just me and him.
christopher ryan
Could you feel it as well?
joe rogan
I was too insecure.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
Yeah, I was too, for whatever reason, too many preset ideas about bodies.
And also, I was like, at the time, I was 26 or 27, maybe 28 at the most...
And I was pretty fucking crazy.
You know, I was just a different person.
I was still operating on the momentum of my youth and chaos, and I couldn't even believe I was hanging out with Phil Hartman at a strip club.
Like, to me, like, seven years before that, I had been fighting, you know?
It was, like, so recent.
It's like my competition days so flavored, like, who I was.
Because, like, you know, you're talking about the word obsessed, what it means.
If it is a sickness, The sickness meaning that you can get good at something because of that sickness.
I was 100% sick when I was a kid.
I was sick as fuck.
Psychotic in that way.
Not in a way where I didn't care about other people's feelings, but maybe psychotic's not the word now that we've researched it.
Maybe the word is just...
Singular in my purpose and vision on earth.
I just wanted to do that and only that.
christopher ryan
Monomania.
joe rogan
Yeah.
And so it was hard for me to get out of that headset for a long time.
I would drift back into that headset and try to fight it off and try to assimilate and be normal.
But I felt like almost like a drug addict who would stop doing coke or heroin or meth or something like that.
I had gone into this world where there was no more fight or flight.
There was no more terrifying bouts of competition, followed by preparation, followed by more competition.
Now, all of a sudden, I'm hanging out with Phil Hartman at his strip club.
christopher ryan
Did performance feel that way at all?
Like, you know, you got a taping on Friday leading up to it.
You're sort of nervous.
You're preparing, you know, to some extent.
joe rogan
Definitely not a TV show.
TV shows, especially news radio, was one of the easiest jobs I've ever had in my life, in terms of the actual performance of it.
I mean, you would be a little nervous before, make sure you knew your lines, make sure you get it right, but the cast was so fucking good that, like, you were working with these people that were so funny, all you had to do was just do your thing.
It was me in a scene with Andy Dick.
All I had to do was just go, Andy, what are you talking about, man?
What are you talking about?
And then he would do his wackiness, and then I would do whatever I had to say.
And the hard part was not laughing.
It was remembering your lines first, and then not laughing.
That was amazing.
christopher ryan
What about stand-up?
joe rogan
That's a little different because you're creating it.
In news radio, they allowed us a lot of room for ad-libbing.
But even if you do create it, you're interacting with someone else and you're pretending some things are happening.
It either works or it doesn't work.
And if it doesn't work, you get together, you take a five-minute break, the writers all would...
Paul and Josh and all these guys would all huddle together and we'd try to come up with another line.
So it's like everyone was working together on this thing.
So it was, in a sense, way easier than stand-up.
Because stand up, you're on your own, bitch.
If you're out there bombing, especially people who paid money to see it, you better come correct.
You better have some shit to say.
So stand up more so, but still never as terrifying as the in-between bouts between competition.
It was terrifying.
christopher ryan
Was there ever any sort of possibility of you being on Saturday Night Live?
joe rogan
I never wanted to act at all.
christopher ryan
You're not a sketch that...
joe rogan
No, I don't want to do that.
christopher ryan
So how did it happen?
I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you've covered this before.
joe rogan
I definitely have.
It's super simple.
I just got a development deal.
I did MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour.
I got a development deal.
They offered me a lot of money.
Next thing you know, I was on a Disney show, of all things.
For Fox.
Two hilarious things.
Disney show for Fox.
It was called Hardball.
When that was over, I was totally ready to quit show.
christopher ryan
You're doing a voice?
joe rogan
No, it was a character.
I played a baseball player.
Frank Valente.
And it was a terrible show.
It started off really good.
The guys who created it were writers from The Simpsons.
Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran.
They were writers from The Simpsons.
They wrote for Married with Children.
They were brilliant, brilliant guys.
But they were soft-spoken writers, intellectuals.
christopher ryan
They got steamrolled.
joe rogan
They got steamrolled.
They got steamrolled by half.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
The people who came in, you know, Fox didn't think they were strong enough to run a show, so they fucked up their pilot, they fucked up all the episodes, and they tanked a great idea.
You know, they were baseball fans, and they wanted to make a hilarious sitcom about baseball akin to Married with Children for Baseball.
christopher ryan
Right.
unidentified
Right.
joe rogan
That was their idea.
And I hated it.
I hated...
I didn't hate them, and I loved being in the pilot.
Jim Brewer was actually in the pilot with me.
Jim played...
It was a one-time role for him.
And it was just a bad scene.
It was just not fun.
I didn't enjoy working with actors.
I thought...
Some of them became friends, but a bunch of them were unbelievably self-centered and weird and...
christopher ryan
So you got no training?
unidentified
No, none.
christopher ryan
You never did theater in Boston?
joe rogan
Zero.
No desire either, which is infuriating to them.
But all of a sudden, I was in their turf.
christopher ryan
Yeah, right?
Of course.
joe rogan
Who the fuck is this guy?
And I played the baseball star.
I was the guy who was the star of the team.
christopher ryan
So it was based on your comedy?
joe rogan
No, not at all.
christopher ryan
Oh, the MTV thing was in a...
joe rogan
No.
My comedy got me to the MTV thing, but the sitcom, they had already written it.
They just cast me.
I met them, and they said, you could be that guy.
And so, boom, all of a sudden, I'm in Hollywood, and they're putting makeup on me.
Is that when you moved out here?
I did the pilot first, so I came out here to visit.
I got one of those Oakwood apartments in Burbank that everybody automatically goes to.
They have these rented furnished apartments.
They have cable.
It's beautiful.
You just move right in.
Sleep in some bed that some dude before he's been farting and jerking off into.
And I did that, and then it got picked up, and then I got an apartment.
I signed a lease because I figured, oh, this is going to stay.
I had the Oakwood for a couple of weeks, and I go, oh, this show's doing well, and they thought it was going to get picked up, and then it got canceled.
So then I got news radio, same thing.
It was just an audition.
Went in for an audition.
It was a cattle call.
It was like 100 dudes.
christopher ryan
Really?
joe rogan
Yeah, I met them, went in, did an audition, came back, did a second audition, bam, I'm on a show.
christopher ryan
That's amazing.
joe rogan
Sitting there at the table read with Phil Hartman, Dave Foley.
So, all told, being on news radio, I had even thought about ever acting for less than a year.
And this was on my second TV show.
christopher ryan
That's fucking insane.
joe rogan
It's totally insane.
And the second show I ever auditioned for, by the way.
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
I'd only auditioned for two shows ever, and I was on both of them.
It didn't make any sense.
And so, you know...
christopher ryan
So to what do you attribute this?
joe rogan
Lucky as fuck.
That, for sure.
Lucky as fuck.
And the ability to perform under pressure.
One of the things about sitcoms, about auditioning for them, it's so unnatural.
You're in this room, there's a table, there's these people that you don't know, and you're supposed to pretend that, you know, we're on a tropical island and we're trying to find where the first aid cabin is.
You know, it's fake.
And a lot of times people are like, oh my god, my life depends on this, my bills...
And some people have never had to perform under pressure before.
But being a stand-up helps that tremendously because you're accustomed to being nervous.
And then fighting helps that tremendously because you're accustomed to being nervous.
So those two things, you know, I performed under pressure more than the average person even though I didn't have...
A lot of acting experience.
christopher ryan
Interesting.
That's a very interesting way to look at it.
I'm interested in all this.
I just watched that SNL special the other night.
A lot of Phil Hartman.
joe rogan
He was amazing.
christopher ryan
And a lot of audition tapes as well.
joe rogan
He's one of the reasons why I never wanted to do it though.
His depiction of working in Siren Live was not good.
christopher ryan
No.
A lot of people hated it.
joe rogan
He hated it.
Well, Phil is a nice fucking guy.
He was a nice fucking guy.
christopher ryan
He was really nice.
joe rogan
And that's a shark tank.
It's a very ultra-competitive, mean-spirited place.
And Phil had the remnants of that, almost like as a defensive shell, when he first started working on news radio.
He would say things that were really uncharacteristic of him later.
And we actually talked about it.
I don't want to name any names, but he was talking about some mean people that he worked with on the show.
Jerry Chase.
I don't believe he mentioned him.
christopher ryan
He's got that reputation.
He does.
joe rogan
A lot of people that come from that environment do, because I think it's really hostile, and they're all competing to get their stuff in the air.
And there's a lot of backstabbing.
There's people doing favors for writers and trying to get their stuff in.
And there's a lot of...
There's a lot of greatness that comes from that, too.
I mean, Saturday Night Live, if you look at the overall body of work and you just cherry-pick greatness, my God, I mean, you have this incredible bouquet of John Belushi and Phil Hartman and Adam Sandler and Chris Rock.
I mean, you know this greatness?
christopher ryan
Eddie Murphy.
joe rogan
Eddie motherfucking Murphy, who was genius on that show.
Him playing Buckwheat?
unidentified
Yeah.
joe rogan
My God.
I mean, it was amazing.
It was a...
But...
I never had a desire to do that.
I don't want to compete with a bunch of people.
I don't want to be in a hostile environment.
Believe it or not, it doesn't make sense because I did martial arts my whole life.
I was trying to avoid hostility.
I don't want to argue.
I don't want any conflict.
I don't want to compete.
The beautiful thing about stand-up comedy is you're creating it yourself.
You go up there, you do it.
You don't have to argue with people about it.
If they don't like it, they're not going to laugh, and then you're fucked.
You've got to restructure it and figure it out yourself.
christopher ryan
That's how I feel about writing books.
I mean, sometimes I miss like an idealized team kind of environment because I know how wonderful that can be.
But the reality is that generally when you work with people, you don't necessarily like each other.
And it's a pain in the ass because of all the weird ego shit.
So I kind of like that I can, at least for a while, make a living sitting in a room alone.
You know, it's...
It's got its ups and its downs, of course.
joe rogan
There's also a positive aspect from the reader's point of view that if I read a Chris Ryan book, I know I'm getting Chris Ryan's thoughts.
They're coming unadulterated from your mind to your typewriter, your keyboard, rather.
christopher ryan
Yeah, and that's something I'm conscious of.
I read, I don't know, maybe it was that book you recommended to me, The War of Art.
But somewhere I read, someone said, always write posthumously.
Write as if you're dead, because you will be, and the book will still be there.
So, like, let go.
Say what's true.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's amazing.
Yeah, that's way better than if you're a Beverly Hills housewife.
You're going to write some shit that's only based on what's going to sell.
You know what I mean?
They'll create these things like, okay, how is this going to work the best?
I don't mean to single them out, but just like some people that write some books where it's pretty obvious as they're writing the book, they're kind of bullshitting who they are and what they're projecting.
christopher ryan
Yeah, this will connect with that part of the audience, but I don't want to offend that part.
joe rogan
Yeah, yeah.
christopher ryan
You know, you're talking earlier about that whole ebb and flow idea, the mathematical sort of it all equals out at the end.
I've thought about that a lot, not so much in terms of individuals, though it makes sense, but I've thought about that a lot in terms of historical moments, historical periods.
You know, like Vietnam, the late 60s, right?
Like 65 to 71. That's when more Americans are dying in Vietnam than any other period earlier than that.
Before they ramped up, it wasn't as many.
So you've got all this conflict, all these riots in the streets.
You've got Selma and Martin Luther King and all this agitation.
And at the same time, you've got Jimi Hendrix.
You've got the Beatles.
You've got all this music we're talking about.
Amazing literature coming out of that.
Fashion, craziness, tie-dyes and afros.
It's like...
When the shit hits the fan, it's really interesting, you know?
And interesting people rise to the top, whereas when things are stable, the interesting people just, you know, they don't get anywhere, because the structures are rigid and controlling, you know?
joe rogan
Well, sometimes there's a need for reform and change that makes these interesting things blossom almost out of pressure, almost out of like two rocks pushing together in the Creator.
There's this effect that happens because people are pushed into a certain way.
And in that sense, there's always been the argument that we need a certain amount of evil to appreciate love, to appreciate happiness.
And good times.
We almost need a certain amount.
This is in certainly no way supporting war, but people who look at war, like people in this country especially, as just something, and they don't think about it deeply, they don't think about it...
In a way where they comprehend the loss of lives and the sadness and the sorrow.
They just look at it as those are our heroes.
They got to do what they got to do over there so we could do what we do over here.
unidentified
All right!
Woo!
joe rogan
And it's like this really surface way of looking at this thing.
It's almost because they're not experiencing the suffering.
It's almost because they're not experiencing the sorrow.
The appreciation that you have of not being at war shouldn't be that someone's over there fighting war so that you don't have to have war.
It should be that you realize that people can get along.
That people can love each other.
We can be friendly.
We can be nice.
You can go to a farmer's market and everybody's saying hi.
You know, that's a bad example.
But, you know, we can interact with each other in a positive way.
Or we could fight over an oil hole.
You know, we could shoot each other and kill babies and fucking gun down innocents in untold numbers over an oil hole.
I mean, it's almost like having no interaction with it.
And also having this...
Sort of archetypal patriotism that everyone subscribes to.
There's a very cookie-cutter vibration that certain types of patriot-type people give off.
This is where we're going to operate.
We're going to operate in this very small box.
Where the soldiers are heroes, and there's no doubt they're doing what they do over there so we can do what we do over here.
And they'll repeat that mantra over and over again without any consideration whatsoever for what it means as human beings.
You're dealing with groups of human beings fighting other groups of human beings for some reason that has not really been clearly defined to me.
christopher ryan
That most of the people fighting have no clue what it is.
Yeah.
None of us do.
joe rogan
Very few of us do.
And I think that...
For someone who goes over there and experiences it, it's probably got to be really weird to see that sort of cookie-cutter version of it being expressed by people.
I have quite a few friends that have been overseas and been involved in the war, and you talk to them, and man, they have sorrow.
They have some horrible stories.
They have some shit they don't like to remember.
They have some really difficult things.
You know this Brian Williams thing that happened in the news?
One of the things that I took from it, especially hard, was not that Brian Williams was not telling the truth, because I think he's a fucking Hollywood guy.
He's just a showbiz guy.
christopher ryan
He's an actor.
Exactly.
joe rogan
He's an actor that reads the prompter instead of a script.
He acts like a standard actor.
I mean, like, they have the tie and they talk like most of them do.
I made a mistake.
You know, like, come on, man.
You're fucking lying.
You lied.
You lied about some shit that went down.
But what hit me harder was the pilot that was involved.
Because there was a pilot involved that gave his version of the story and did some interviews.
And he said...
That they were in a helicopter, and the helicopter took small arms fire, and that the helicopter in front of them was the one that got hit with the RPG. And it wasn't the one that Brian Williams was in.
But he was telling his story about this, and then people started questioning, no, you weren't in the helicopter with Brian Williams.
This guy was in the helicopter with Brian Williams.
And so the guy says, man, you know what?
I don't really completely remember, but it's hard for me to go over this.
I had put it aside.
But now that I'm being forced to remember it, the nightmares are coming back and I'm having a really hard time sleeping.
Oh, really?
And he was talking about it.
He said, I don't really want to talk about it anymore.
You know, I said what I had to say.
This guy is certainly not lying.
He certainly did serve.
He certainly did get shot at.
He certainly did see some horrific things.
There's no doubt about that.
No one questions that.
They're just questioning his version of events versus a couple other people have their version of the events.
And it's just so much trauma involved in this guy's experiences over there that he's like, I had tried my best to forget about it.
This was what I can remember.
When people ask me about my experience with Brian Williams, this is what happened.
And he gave a very logical account of it.
The reason why we were an hour late, he said, is because we had to drop off a payload.
We dropped off our payload, and then it took us about an hour, and then we went to the site where the guys landed, and then we all...
Had huddled down together in a sandstorm, and it was an incredibly traumatic event for all involved.
So, I'm not giving Brian Williams a free pass, because he remembered this in a fucked up way, because I do think he bullshitted it.
I think he added a bunch of shit to his version of it, and put himself in more danger, because he didn't think that anybody had put the pieces together.
And when it came out...
Look, his story as itself would have been just as good if he said the helicopter in front of us got hit with an RPG. It doesn't make you better because you almost died.
You definitely almost died anyway.
Like his version, the real version, he almost died.
The real version, he still was in a convoy that got shot at.
His helicopter didn't.
They were all forced to land and endure a sandstorm for two days.
I mean, that version is amazing.
You don't have to...
But it's indicative of the kind of bullshit artists that we have that are reading off the news that he didn't like that version.
He wanted to jazz it up.
He wanted to make a little bit better.
My life was in danger for the news!
christopher ryan
But it is, as we started this conversation, talking about how unreliable memory is, right?
And Milan Kundera said, memory is not the opposite of forgetting, it's a way of forgetting, right?
Because we do, we remember things, you know, based on emotions, and over time it changes, and especially a story like that.
I know a guy who's a compulsive liar.
I mean, within 15 minutes of meeting this guy, he told me he had trained with the SEALs, he had played semi-professional basketball in Europe, and he owned this amazing apartment that we were in that I knew he didn't own, his boss owned, who was this billionaire guy.
And he was the private pilot of this billionaire guy, this friend of mine, right?
And so I knew this guy was full of shit, but I also knew he flies a fucking Learjet for a living.
He's like on standby to fly this guy wherever around the world.
Like, dude, that's a good story in itself.
You don't need to lie, you know?
The guy who's working at Starbucks, okay, you make up some shit.
Why not?
You know?
Gets you through the night, but...
You're a fucking pilot?
joe rogan
I knew a dude who was a successful comedian and a multi-millionaire and would do really well, but he's a compulsive liar.
If you started talking to him about something that you do uniquely, he would also do it.
If you talked to him about going to the jungle and researching ants, he would tell you about his time.
christopher ryan
Always a little better than your story, right?
Yeah.
joe rogan
He smoked cigarettes, and he would tell me about his kickboxing experiences with world champions.
christopher ryan
That's ballsy, though.
Like, to get into your realm, right?
joe rogan
Oh, it was ridiculous.
christopher ryan
It's funny.
That's high risk.
joe rogan
Well, he was crazy.
He still is completely crazy.
But he's really talented, too, which is interesting.
He's a really good comic.
So it's like, I can't give his name away, folks.
I'm so sorry.
christopher ryan
So maybe he likes the thrill, like that maybe you're going to call him out.
joe rogan
Nope.
I don't think so.
christopher ryan
There's no masochistic?
joe rogan
Nope, just ego and alcohol and a bunch of craziness, but smoking cigarettes tell me about how he's just sparring eight rounds with a world champion, which isn't totally impossible.
I had this guy in Joe Schilling recently, he's one of the best kickboxers in the world, and he admitted on the podcast he smokes cigarettes on a regular basis.
It's fucking crazy!
But he's also, outside of that, very dedicated as an athlete.
It's ridiculous that he smokes cigarettes in an endurance sport.
But he's a bad motherfucker.
I mean, bonafide, legit, trains all day.
This guy wasn't training.
This guy's drinking all the time.
I know he wasn't kickboxing.
He's nuts.
But he almost can't help himself.
He starts talking, and he just comes out, and then he gets away.
christopher ryan
There's a weird craziness.
I remember meeting a guy once at a wine tasting who told me he was a demigod.
joe rogan
What does that mean?
christopher ryan
Well, that's what I asked.
What does that mean?
Well, it means I'm half human.
My father was human.
My mother was from...
And he tells me some Latin word for a star system somewhere.
And he said, like, again, within 15 minutes, he said that he was the highest paid artist in the world because he had designed that Atlas thing in front of Rockefeller Center, which was the highest, like, most expensive piece of art, any whatever, like, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
And I was fascinated.
And the guy was a super good-looking dude.
He had a little beard, and he was big and dark.
He looked like Satan, like the Mephistopheles kind of thing.
And I thought he was bullshitting me.
I thought that my friend had put him up to it, because I was high, and I was just like...
joe rogan
So he thought he was just acting, like he was just being silly.
christopher ryan
I thought he was goofing.
You know, and that after a few minutes he'd break character and we'd all get a good laugh out of it.
And I even called my friend.
I was like, hey, Dave, come over here.
I'm talking to the devil here.
He's got some great stories.
And then Cassie was there and then she came and he got into her and he started trying to impress her and telling her all these stories.
And she's a psychiatrist, right?
She sees bullshit like before the rest of us even know it's coming, you know?
It was very funny, like the whole interaction.
unidentified
Wow.
christopher ryan
Yeah, but it's a form of insanity.
People have to scratch that itch.
I don't know.
joe rogan
And they kind of keep moving.
Those people, almost by nature, have to keep moving.
christopher ryan
Because they leave a mess behind them.
joe rogan
Their lives implode.
The lies come down and cave in on them, and then they've got to find some new person to sucker in.
And that does happen.
You know, you see that.
You see people drifting from one group of people to the other group of people.
And I've seen it.
I've seen it happen.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
It's weird.
It's weird when you meet someone who's just obviously full of shit and lying through their teeth as they're talking.
It's a very strange thing.
Like, do you know that I know?
And you're just going to, like, hope that I don't call you on it?
Because you've seen that before, too, right?
christopher ryan
Or you want me to.
Yeah.
I wonder about that, too.
Like, some people...
Well, again, you know, my wife's a psychiatrist.
She's dealt with all this kind of stuff.
And she laughs.
She just cracks up when she sees it.
She sees it immediately and just like...
Her way of dealing with insanity is laughter.
And she works with...
Well, she's worked with all sorts of people, but her sort of specialization is...
I remember going in with her the first time I visited her at work.
She was running a mental hospital with like double doors and bars over the windows.
These criminally insane people who had killed their kids and, you know, like crazy shit, right?
And we went in there.
I wasn't prepared, man.
We went in and it was just like lunatics.
And there was this woman, like must have been in her mid-50s, lying on her back in a little nightgown, no underwear, with her like arms and legs, you know, like a crab, doing a crab thing.
And we walk in, and it's like this, you know, pussy, and the whole scene just scared the shit out of me.
And Casilda just started laughing, like, you crazy old lady, what are you doing?
Get up from there!
She just, like, laughs.
And the thing that I didn't understand until I hung out with her is that people who are psychotic know they're psychotic.
And so they kind of know how ridiculous they are.
And as a doctor, when she laughs, she laughs in such a loving, accepting, I get you kind of way that it creates this instant rapport and they start laughing.
joe rogan
Oh, so she like relieves a little tension.
christopher ryan
Right.
Like it's all, okay, I know you're just another crazy person.
I deal with you all the time and come on.
It's kind of like how a gynecologist, I imagine, would have to sort of be so laid back that you kind of, you know, okay, he's seen a million pussies.
It relaxes you in a way.
I think she does that with crazy people.
It's normal people who make her really uncomfortable.
joe rogan
Oh, yeah.
I mean, imagine if you were a gynecologist and you were super nervous about seeing someone's pussy.
Okay, I guess we're about to do it.
Hold on.
Throw some water on my face.
christopher ryan
Let me have a little more wine.
joe rogan
Okay, take your panties off.
Oh, Jesus, it's happening!
It's happening!
All right, let's see what you got wrong down there.
I'm going to look.
I'm going to look.
I'm looking.
I'm looking!
christopher ryan
Gonna use a mirror.
joe rogan
Like it's a fucking vampire.
It's Medusa.
You can't look it in the eyes.
christopher ryan
So if you had to have a job, like a normal job, what job would you be good at?
What would you want to do?
Not a gynecologist, I imagine.
joe rogan
Outside of comedy, I would probably be a martial arts instructor.
I enjoyed doing that.
christopher ryan
You like teaching?
joe rogan
Yeah, I enjoyed teaching.
christopher ryan
I'll bet you're good with kids, I'll bet.
joe rogan
I enjoyed it.
Yeah, I used to teach kids class.
I taught a lot of kids.
I taught several kids from white belt all the way up to higher belts.
I don't think I taught anybody up to black belt, but I got pretty close.
Because it takes quite a few years to achieve black belt.
So for most of them, it is very rare that they make it to that far.
They'll learn some lessons along the way and it'll help them, you know, in life, but to achieve that level of ability is a lot of commitment.
So most of them didn't make it.
It's like maybe one out of a thousand ever make it to Blackpool.
christopher ryan
Really?
joe rogan
Probably.
In a good school, maybe, I mean, might be one out of 500 or 600, but it's close to a thousand, whatever it is.
It's not 1% by any stretch of the imagination.
It's probably, at a good estimate, one-tenth or one-percent.
christopher ryan
I imagine you'd be really good in that kind of an environment, not just martial arts, but kids in general, because there's sort of an immediate respect.
You know, you look like a badass.
So it's like, oh, take that guy seriously.
joe rogan
Well, I like kids.
christopher ryan
Yeah, and you're amenable.
You're open to them.
joe rogan
I also, I'm a big take-in-strays sort of guy.
I've always taken in stray dogs and cats and people.
christopher ryan
Yeah, I've been following your Instagram.
Lots of good cat shots in there recently.
joe rogan
I got a new kitten.
christopher ryan
I love cats, man.
joe rogan
I do, too.
They're fun.
They're fun to have around.
They don't require your constant attention, too.
christopher ryan
They've got dignity.
joe rogan
They've got their own life, man.
christopher ryan
And especially the key, which you obviously understand, is have multiple cats.
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
Don't have one cat, because then you're going to have the neurotic, freaked-out cat pissing in your bed.
But the difference between no cat and a cat is significant.
The difference between one cat and two cats is negligible.
joe rogan
Yeah.
Right, as far as like the toll on you.
christopher ryan
Whatever, yeah.
I mean, so get a few cats if you're going to get a cat.
And so they have each other when you're not around.
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
You know?
joe rogan
Yeah, I got three of them.
christopher ryan
Yeah, that's what we had, three.
joe rogan
Plan.
You know, interesting enough, teaching was one of the things that really helped me on Fear Factor.
Which Fear Factor seems like it's such a stupid show.
And it was kind of dumb.
But...
It was some people that were really freaked out and didn't know how to deal with the stress of competition.
And I was so used to it.
I was so used to not just teaching, but coaching.
Even when I retired, my friend Dimitri was fighting in this big national tournament and I was in his corner.
And I pumped him up.
It was one of his best performances ever.
I'm good at getting inside of people's heads, especially people that I know, and telling them what they need to hear to get them to go out there and fire them the fuck up.
And telling them what you're really good at, man.
You can do this.
And it's all about not having any doubt.
It's all about knowing how to stay intense and focused and go out there and do what needs to be done.
And giving them this sort of technical advice as well as this emotional pick-me-up.
Some people have a knack for that, and I developed it by teaching kids.
Because kids are always freaked out, man.
I took a lot of kids to tournaments.
And they'd be fighting other little kids, and most likely they wouldn't get hurt.
But when you've got a little seven-year-old in front of you, and you're putting pads on his head to protect him from kicks, and you're like, listen, you've just got to stay focused and don't be afraid.
All you need to think about is what you're doing.
Don't think about what happens if it goes wrong.
Never think of that.
Always think about what are you trying to do.
And if things go wrong, reset and think about it again.
What is my objective?
What am I trying to do?
Stay defensive, keep moving, never stand in one place, never stand put, always keep fainting, always keep the opponent guessing, and I'd go over all the most important things to them and then pump them up and tell them, you can do this.
When you get through this, you're going to feel so good.
I know you feel terrible now, but as terrible as you feel now, when it's over, you're going to feel so good.
And when they would do it and they would compete, even if they would lose, they'd be so relieved.
I'm like, see?
Now you feel good.
And this experience, this harrowing, stressful experience, can give birth to this new appreciation of peace.
christopher ryan
Right.
It's the yin-yang again, right?
unidentified
Exactly.
christopher ryan
We were talking about earlier.
I read a book recently, a fascinating book called Paradise Made in Hell.
Rebecca Solnit, and it's about disaster sociology, right?
So it's studying people's behavior in disasters, right?
And so it's fascinating because the idea we have is, like, that's when people get really crazy and they loot and pillage and, you know, oh, now I can rape and nobody will catch me and there are no cops.
And in fact, what happens is the opposite.
That's when people are most generous, most kind.
They form communities.
They meet the neighbors they never said a fucking word to for 10 years.
They're, like, taking care of each other.
And people, and it sort of relates to war, too, you know.
People look back on it, and they say, yeah, there was a lot of horrible shit.
People were dying.
Stuff was happening.
But I remember it as the best time of my life.
unidentified
Wow.
christopher ryan
And the main guy, there's this really moving passage where this guy who sort of started the field, who's no hippie, he teaches at Nebraska or something, he's like a very straight-up scientist, but he said, the best way to think about disasters is not as a disaster, but as relief from the disaster that is normal life.
Because in normal life, we're all isolated, we're all suffering alone.
And he's like, man, when the shit hits the fan, that's when things get really wonderful.
joe rogan
Well, there's no escaping the fact that it's finite when you're watching people die around you, that's for sure.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
Yeah, and again, it's like you were saying about you need the pain to enjoy the pleasure.
You need hunger to enjoy the food.
You need loneliness to enjoy companionship.
There is no light without dark.
joe rogan
There really isn't, right?
And I think one of the things that people miss in their lives that leads people to become very...
Stagnant and disappointed in their existence is that there's no thrills.
I think that's what leads people to get divorced or to become drug addicts or to be self-destructive.
it's almost like people need thrills and when you get stuck in a really secure job where you know all right chris ryan for the next 40 hours you know you're going to be stuck in this spot or you know eight hours a day for the next you know seven days five days whatever it is you're going to be stuck in this spot and you're going to be at this desk and you're going to be dealing with all these cases that come your way and you're going to have to file them and then you're going to have to write a report and it's going to suck and you're going to just be lumped in to this group of people that are all doing the same thing
and you're going to do it every week and at the end of the week you know when when the day is done then you can go home and you can relax But there's going to be no thrills.
The biggest thrill would be merging onto the highway.
Oh my god, here we go!
Like, other than that, there's nothing.
There's no ups.
It's all just steady and normal.
And I think that's one of the reasons why people have so much road rage and stress, and there's no real experience.
christopher ryan
Yeah, they're not flushing out.
I often say in Spanish, the word aislar means both to insulate and to isolate.
So we, you know, and this gets into this whole book I'm writing, like civilization is largely an attempt to insulate ourselves from danger, from strangers, from any sort of predators, you know, from anything that could be a danger to us.
We try to insulate ourselves from it.
And then at the end, we're isolated, right?
Because we're surrounded by this margin, this moat that protects us from what?
From life, right?
From the thing that makes you feel alive.
Like, okay, you want to be completely safe?
You know, get inside this coffin.
You know, and, you know, take some anesthetics and you won't feel a goddamn thing.
But how's that different from being dead?
joe rogan
It seems like we're all doing our part in this existence and we're moving past what we used to be from single-celled organisms to higher primates to some weird thing right now that's a combination of conscious being and physical animal.
christopher ryan
Someone like Duncan.
joe rogan
Someone like Duncan.
And we're moving in this sort of advancing direction and it's not done.
We're a part of a great process.
The stage that you and I are in, they're going to look back at us and laugh the way we look back at Isaac Newton wearing a powdered wig or any of the...
Weirdos that figured out all sorts of incredible things back in history, but also believed a bunch of stupid shit as well.
You look back at Copernicus and the things that he discovered, and it's unbelievable and amazing.
But today, it's like, duh.
Everybody already knows that.
Look at the life that you live.
Imagine being Darwin and trying to express these ideas that you formulated over the course of your life's work to a bunch of Christian scientists, which is what he was dealing with.
It's hilarious.
If you go back and think about it today, his challenges of this idea of this monotheistic world that the scientist pretty much universally existed in at that time and tries to push forth these crazy theories that he's coming up with, Uniquely, on his own.
I mean, the resistance that he must have experienced to something that today is instantaneously accepted by everyone that's in academia, in science, I mean, almost across the board, his ideas are accepted.
So we look back at those times and we go, God, they're fucking so stupid back then.
Well, they're going to do that to us.
And it's not going to be that long.
I mean, with Darwin, you're talking about a few hundred years.
With us, it's going to be a few decades.
And then a few decades...
christopher ryan
Because everything goes faster now.
joe rogan
Yeah, it's faster and faster and faster.
And we're in the middle of this.
We're in the middle of this weird process of human beings changing and becoming more aware of all the flaws and the folly in our civilization and our existence.
And all the shit we're fighting for today, all the protests like Black Lives Matter and, you know, people fighting for rights of, you know, everyone across the board from women to gays to this to that.
What we're doing is we're trying to patch up the holes in this crazy system with agitation and anger and loud voices and social media campaigns and it's essentially all just trying to make this thing into a more coherent, more advanced version of what it is now and then that in turn will find the inherent problems in its existence and it will move just like the monkeys from You know,
200,000 years ago that became human beings were fighting off all these different creatures and realized, like, yo, we gotta make houses.
This is bullshit.
andy stumpf
Like, this fucking living in trees is bullshit.
joe rogan
The cats climb trees, man.
I'm fucking tired of my babies getting eaten.
Like, let's figure out spears and snakes.
You know, let's figure a way to make a better situation.
And I think we're in the middle of that, man.
I think we just, like all things, you take it for granted that you're in the middle of it.
If you look back on your childhood, you know, and today you look back and you go, wow, when I was 10, I was doing this and I was doing that.
But when you were 10, you were just in the middle of it.
You know, you look back on how much progress has taken place in your own life as a microcosm to your existence.
All of our existence, your own individual memories and your own individual experiences, you're in the middle of it.
As civilization, we're in the middle of this babyhood.
We're in the middle of this adolescence, whatever the fuck it is.
And we're moving into some new place.
christopher ryan
And it's arrogant, but very common for people to think we're at the end of it.
Like, this is the cutting edge.
It is the edge, but it's not the end.
It's not...
Perfection.
joe rogan
It's like yeah, it's always always in process always in process But amazing to think that right now we are at the pinnacle of human knowledge We are at the peak the tip of the spear as far as like everything that people have learned and figured out up until now We have this database we've accumulated from hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years of records and then you know after that it gets a little sketchy and You go a few thousand years, things get real weird in different languages.
Things get even weirder and it gets more vague and more strange, more difficult to decipher.
But all that data that we've accumulated and the access to it that we have today, unprecedented as far as we know in people.
It's amazing.
It's amazing to be at that time.
When you have a question, you just like with a psychology, psychopathy thing, we just bang, we just Google it and we didn't have to go to a library, we didn't have to order a book, we didn't have to Go to a bookstore or go to a class.
You just instantaneously get that information.
And I think that that is accelerating us in a way that we can't even comprehend.
christopher ryan
Yeah, no doubt.
joe rogan
Yeah, I think we're all experiencing it in a way that it seems so normal because everyone has a phone, you know?
Whoa, let me just check my phone and see.
Let me just call my friend who's nowhere near me.
christopher ryan
And, you know, this affects, getting back to the earlier thing about aging, right?
Like, this affects the experience of aging because more has changed in our lifetimes because it's always accelerating.
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
That, like, I remember the first computer I interacted with, right?
It was, I was in my late 20s working in the Diamond District in New York, and one of my jobs was to back up The disks in this computer.
The computer was the size of a big refrigerator.
And the disks were like, you know, double the circumference of an album.
And they were these massive things.
And they were probably like 50 megabytes each or something, you know?
joe rogan
If that, right?
christopher ryan
If that, right.
I mean, I probably got a thousand times the computing power in my pocket right now.
It's just insane.
joe rogan
Maybe even more than a thousand.
christopher ryan
Yeah, I don't know how it works.
joe rogan
Yeah.
christopher ryan
Hey, I gotta roll.
joe rogan
Get out of here, man.
unidentified
Yeah.
christopher ryan
You got things to do.
joe rogan
I'm gonna see you this weekend?
christopher ryan
I'm tempted to miss the plane.
unidentified
When's your flight?
christopher ryan
This is so much fun.
It's not the plane, it's the rental car.
joe rogan
Oh, okay.
christopher ryan
They're gonna rape me if I'm late.
joe rogan
We'll hang out this weekend, and we're promising to do one with you, me, and Duncan again.
christopher ryan
We're gonna figure it out.
joe rogan
I know, we've been getting tweets.
Everybody's busy, folks.
Shit happens.
But we'll get it together.
We'll get it together.
But thank you, brother.
christopher ryan
Appreciate it.
You guys pick a date.
I'll fly down for it, for sure.
joe rogan
And you can follow Chris on Twitter.
Is it ChrisRyanPhD?
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Or it's Christopher Ryan.
unidentified
Chris Ryan?
joe rogan
Chris Ryan.
Chris Ryan, PhD.
The one book that you can buy that he has is Sex at Dawn.
Fantastic book.
Guaranteed to piss off your wife.
Leave that shit around.
What are you reading?
Getting these fucking ideas out of your head.
Chris Ryan, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, brother.
Appreciate it, man.
It was a lot of fun.
christopher ryan
Yeah.
joe rogan
Bye-bye.
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