Sept. 15, 2014 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:55:09
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Good googly moogly, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. | ||
| Squarespace is the official number one only web space creating sponsor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The best one. | |
| They're the best. | ||
| I mean, there's no need to use anything else. | ||
| If you want to create your own website, if you need a website, you should do it yourself. | ||
| The technology has reached a point where I would suggest to people that need a new website, well, are you specific? | ||
| Do you know what you want? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then you could do it yourself. | ||
| You could literally do it yourself, a professional-looking website with Squarespace. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Squarespace. | |
| It's the best deal. | ||
| I'm actually using them for my... | ||
| I signed up twice. | ||
| I'm using it for a second website that I just started last week, and it's amazing. | ||
| I know so many people use it. | ||
| Cara Santa Maria uses it to manage her web space. | ||
| I mean, Duncan uses it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| It's funny, the guys at Squarespace, when I met them in New York, they're like, we got one of those report tickets when things are going wrong. | ||
| What's that called? | ||
| What's it called? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ticket. | |
| Report ticket? | ||
| Yeah, Ticket. | ||
| Support. | ||
| Support, not report. | ||
| They got a support ticket for Dunkin' Trussell and they were like, is this Dunkin' Trussell, Dunkin' Trussell? | ||
| They were trying to figure it out. | ||
| Squarespace is, seriously, it's one of the easiest things you'll ever do when it comes to creating something that looks incredibly professional. | ||
| You can create a unique website for yourself or your business with a simple drag-and-drop interface. | ||
| They offer 24-7 support and it works on everything. | ||
| It'll work on your iPhone. | ||
| It'll work on your Android phone. | ||
| It'll work on a Unix computer. | ||
| It'll work on a Mac. | ||
| It'll work on Windows. | ||
| And every site comes with a unique online version of it. | ||
| The mobile version. | ||
| Rather, everything's online. | ||
| What the fuck am I talking about? | ||
| Mobile. | ||
| Unique mobile version that matches the overall style of your website. | ||
| So that your content will look great on every device, every time. | ||
| Squarespace also has a logo creator where you can create a clean, simple logo designed for yourself in minutes. | ||
| And every single website you do on Squarespace, you can start an online store with it. | ||
| Every site comes with an online store. | ||
| It's super easy to do. | ||
| If you can just attach photos to email and get around a computer like a normal person, you can make your own website. | ||
| The technology has reached that point. | ||
| For a free trial and 10% off your first purchase, go to squarespace.com and enter the code word JOE. Squarespace, a better web, starts with your website! | ||
| We're also brought to you by LegalZoom. | ||
| LegalZoom is an awesome way that you can handle a lot of legal issues without leaving your house. | ||
| It used to be that you would have to go to a lawyer and make an appointment and pay a lot of money to resolve simple things like power of attorney, living trusts, wills. | ||
| You can do all that stuff online now through LegalZoom. | ||
| They've been handling it for over 10 years. | ||
| They have an A-plus with the Better Business Bureau, and they've helped protect people's assets with LLCs, S-corporations, trademarks, real estate documents, and more. | ||
| They even allegedly, I mean, I've seen it on the website, offered divorce, but I would like to look at how many people have actually got divorced through LegalZoom. | ||
| Yeah, it was a grueling 10 years with LegalZoom. | ||
| Yeah, shit. | ||
| People duke it out, man. | ||
| I was listening to this interview where this guy was talking about how much money he had to pay. | ||
| Some famous guy, I don't need to mention his name, but he was talking about how much money he had to pay out in a divorce. | ||
| Freaking out about it. | ||
| That's war with some people, man. | ||
| Or that old story you used to say about how your friend had to pay for his own wife's lawyers. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| I'm going through it. | ||
| I wonder if I could use LegalZoom. | ||
| You going through one? | ||
| You getting divorced? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Gary. | ||
| Why would they let us get married? | ||
| Why would they let us get married to begin with? | ||
| Men fucking fight. | ||
| We can't be marrying each other. | ||
| Anyway, go to LegalZoom.com. | ||
| Dad, why are you marrying him? | ||
| And see if you can get divorced from your boyfriend. | ||
| Is it a boy? | ||
| Your husband? | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| Yeah, my dad. | ||
| Whenever a gay dude says my husband, I always just go, okay. | ||
| It takes a second. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| To prove you're okay with it, too. | ||
| I'm not judging, but like you said, husband, right? | ||
| Your guy? | ||
| All right. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Well, don't you believe it's possible? | ||
| I'm not homophobic at all, but if I see, and I live in New York, where if you see two guys making out, you're still like, weird. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is weird. | |
| It's awkward a little still. | ||
| Well, it's always going to be if you're heterosexual, because for the most part you don't see it until you reach an adult age and then you're out in the wild with the wild homosexuals that just frequent these thoroughfares and these avenues. | ||
| If you're in the wrong spot, like if you're going down Santa Monica Boulevard, we should probably just start the podcast right here. | ||
| Joe, is there different levels of that where you look and see two people kissing and you're just like, you know what? | ||
| I'm a little hungry for that. | ||
| Or like, oh my god, that's hot. | ||
| Is it at all on and off, you think? | ||
| To who? | ||
| What are you saying? | ||
| Like if you're walking down the street and see... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who, me? | |
| Are you asking me? | ||
| Anybody. | ||
| If I walk down the street and I see two guys kiss each other, do I ever say, is that hot? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Is it completely hilarious and weird or is it mildly like, oh, I see what they're doing there? | ||
| You should have thought this question out way, way before you tried to express yourself in such a complex manner. | ||
| It just seems very... | ||
| I wonder if there's different levels. | ||
| That's hilarious and creepy and weird sometimes. | ||
| Well, it depends on what the guys look like. | ||
| No, it doesn't! | ||
| Because there's a broad spectrum of masculine to feminine homosexuals, just like there are... | ||
| Women look different. | ||
| If you run into two of a certain type of women making out, it's not fun. | ||
| But if you, you know, it's uncomfortable. | ||
| But if you run into women that are just, for whatever reason, they flow together well, visually. | ||
| But if two Brad Pitts were kissing or a Brad Pitt and a George Clooney... | ||
| It would never be hot to me because I'm a straight male. | ||
| What it would be, I would sympathize. | ||
| I would say, you know, it's weird that I would judge and then I would hope that they don't run into anybody that's mean. | ||
| I'd do that. | ||
| Would you take a photo? | ||
| No, that's rude. | ||
| You have to if you saw them just making out against a telephone pole. | ||
| Depends. | ||
| If they start taking their pants off, I'd probably start filming. | ||
| Start going after it. | ||
| But then you get caught with gay porn on your phone. | ||
| And then illegally acquired gay porn. | ||
| You're a bad person and you're a creep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that illegal? | |
| Yeah, you're not supposed to be just filming people. | ||
| I don't think you're supposed to just film people. | ||
| I don't know what the rules are. | ||
| I guess if you do something publicly, it should be assumed that you're filming it. | ||
| But if you just took film with some guys, make it out and put it on YouTube. | ||
| Yeah, but if you make a website called Joe News, you can just say your news. | ||
| You just hang one of those signs around your neck, like when they do for TV shows, like... | ||
| Press! | ||
| ...filming in progress, if you walk through a Zoom that you will be shown. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| LegalZoom.com. | ||
| Use the code word, Rogan. | ||
| LegalZoom could help you out with all these questions, probably. | ||
| I don't think they can. | ||
| Yeah, you can hire an attorney. | ||
| LegalZoom is developed by top attorneys to provide self-help services at your specific direction, but they are not a law firm. | ||
| They will provide you with a third-party attorney, though, if the shit hits the fan. | ||
| I have to say all this before we get done with this. | ||
| Otherwise, I'll be stuck in this commercial for an hour. | ||
| Anyway, we've used LegalZoom. | ||
| Brian used it to form Death Squad. | ||
| Aubrey used it to make Onnit. | ||
| It's an awesome service. | ||
| So you go to LegalZoom.com and use the code word ROGAN. And last but not least, we're brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| That is O-N-N-I-T, a human optimization website. | ||
| And Onnit is... | ||
| Right now releasing the newest of our artistic kettlebells, the werewolf kettlebell, the legend bells. | ||
| We have the zombie bells, of course, which I think we're out of. | ||
| I think that's what's going on on the website here. | ||
| I don't see the zombie bells. | ||
| We're out of them. | ||
| We still have the great apes. | ||
| We still have some of those, and I'm sure we'll have the zombie bells back because they were fucking awesome. | ||
| We got some other ones that are coming out, too. | ||
| We got some new ones. | ||
| Oh, that's nice, man. | ||
| Yeah, the werewolf's dope. | ||
| It's heavy as fuck, too. | ||
| The werewolf is a big one. | ||
| It's 65 pounds, 28 kilograms. | ||
| 62 pounds. | ||
| So it's a good one to work out with. | ||
| They look so cool, but they hurt. | ||
| They hurt if you do any kind of, like, where you flip it over on your wrist. | ||
| I used to do one with a skull, and yeah, it would just crack my wrist. | ||
| Well, what you've got to do is, first of all, you've got to make sure that the face is outside, facing the opposite direction. | ||
| That's a simple solution, I guess. | ||
| Yeah, that's what you do. | ||
| But that's hard to do when you're tired. | ||
| But the other thing is you've got to learn the technique of, like, punching through. | ||
| Like, when you swing a kettlebell, there's a certain amount of control that you develop with it where it doesn't ever hurt your arm. | ||
| Because, like, a lot of times, people, when they're starting out especially, they'll put, like, wrist things on. | ||
| Like, they're trying to get an eagle to land on their arm. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| We have big cushioned things so that when the kettlebell flips and hits it, it doesn't hurt. | ||
| But you get to know what's moving. | ||
| You're supposed to twist it, sort of. | ||
| Yeah, you twist it towards you first, and then as you're going up, you sort of punch through it. | ||
| If you do it in a smooth motion, it never really slams into your arm. | ||
| But the thing is, if you're doing them right, you're going to get tired. | ||
| And when you get tired, that's when your technique suffers. | ||
| That's when you can fuck yourself up. | ||
| Oh, technique suffering is... | ||
| I've done some... | ||
| Doing CrossFit, I did so much back damage because I just never worked hard on good form. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| Yeah, welcome to the club. | ||
| There's so many people that have hurt themselves doing that kind of stuff, those powerlifting exercises. | ||
| You know, especially Steve... | ||
| Maxwell, who's a real expert in fitness. | ||
| He's in incredible shape. | ||
| He's 62 years old. | ||
| He's just an animal and just a wealth of knowledge. | ||
| He's not a fan of those type of workouts because he said that those powerlifting workouts should all be done with very strict form and very heavy weights and very low reps. | ||
| He's like, so they're essentially taking these These workouts that are all about this one big explosion and the most you can get up, and they're doing them over and over and over and over and over and over. | ||
| And some people can get away with that, but some people get really fucked up. | ||
| Well, they also have the element of competition to it, which I never really bought into because I was just trying to lose a lot of weight and get in shape. | ||
| So I looked at it as, like, whatever was on that board was my workout, but there was a competition element, so it is funny that they spend... | ||
| About the first 15 minutes of any CrossFit class I've done is showing you the form of today's workout. | ||
| This is the proper deadlift. | ||
| This is the proper, you know, like, clean, power clean. | ||
| And then they do that for 15 minutes, and then they go, all right, as fast as you can now for seven minutes. | ||
| It's so crazy. | ||
| And, you know, and these people are competitive people, and they want to win, so guys just, like... | ||
| You just see how they're bent over the wrong way. | ||
| Putting so much stress on your back. | ||
| For anybody that's thinking about doing any kind of workout with either kettlebells or even just regular weights, just dumbbells or barbells, please start off slow. | ||
| If you've never done any workout before, what working out is all about is tearing down your muscle fiber and then it heals. | ||
| And when it heals, it gets stronger. | ||
| You have to tear it down. | ||
| And then you have to recover. | ||
| The recovery is one of the most important parts, and that's one of the things that fucks up a lot of athletes. | ||
| It's one of the number one issues when it comes to wrestlers, like a lot of wrestlers, because they're so mentally tough, they overtrain, they fuck their body up because their body's never getting the proper rest. | ||
| You know, if you're not a competitive athlete that's in some sort of a program where you can't decide how much workout you have to do because you have to follow the team, if you're not in that kind of an athletic program and you can do it yourself... | ||
| Be fucking smart about it. | ||
| It's hard to do because everybody wants to just, God damn it, I've been a fat ass. | ||
| I've been eating donuts and drinking Cokes. | ||
| I'm going to clean up my diet and I'm going to work out like an animal. | ||
| If you do it too hard, too quick, you'll rip things apart. | ||
| You will. | ||
| Your body's not developed for it. | ||
| You've got to build up to those kind of workouts. | ||
| That's why steroids, what they do is they help you heal fast so you can work out harder. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| That's such a funny misconception always about steroids where even in movies they would make it like they stick steroids in Drago's arm and he could just win fights. | ||
| People always treated Barry Bonds like that. | ||
| They were like, he takes steroids, he injects it in his arm so he can crack home runs. | ||
| It still requires a ton of exercise and workout. | ||
| Those guys work harder still than anybody else. | ||
| But you definitely have an advantage over everybody else who works hard if you're on it. | ||
| Without an argument. | ||
| I mean, none of these guys are taking it and then just being world beaters. | ||
| They're taking it and working out like demons and then being world beaters. | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot going on with that stuff. | ||
| But the real problem with it is it crashes their endocrine systems. | ||
| It fucks up their body. | ||
| I was watching this thing on Bodybuilders, man. | ||
| This video. | ||
| I was watching this online where this guy was interviewing a bodybuilder. | ||
| I responded to him. | ||
| It's in my timeline yesterday. | ||
| It's the craziest shit ever. | ||
| This dude who was a big-time competitive bodybuilder talked about how he got into it and talked about all the stuff that he was dumping into his body, and it's like, whoa! | ||
| Fucking pain pills every day, Vicodin, steroids, this, that. | ||
| His kidney was like 30. His kidney was ready to go. | ||
| They were like, dude, you're going to be on dialysis in a year. | ||
| It's over. | ||
| You're going to have to need new kidneys. | ||
| You're just crashing the whole party. | ||
| Just big giant purple fucking grape monster with needle marks and fucking veins everywhere. | ||
| And they just get addicted. | ||
| They get addicted to that thing of sticking chemicals in your body and making your body bigger and training like a monster. | ||
| You'd call them a junkie, too, if you saw what they did. | ||
| They had a plate. | ||
| I mean, I grew up with them. | ||
| My stepfather was a competitive powerlifter, so he knew a lot of friends who were bodybuilders and stuff, and you'd see these guys have a plate of pills in front of them every day. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That's so crazy. | ||
| He has a junkie behavior. | ||
| Yeah, that's not healthy, folks. | ||
| But yeah, junkie behavior, it exists in a lot of forms. | ||
| It exists in gambling. | ||
| Gambling is the big one. | ||
| I'm around so many people. | ||
| I know so many people that have really crazy gambling problems. | ||
| That video that you just put up, Keith is going to be on the podcast. | ||
| We're working it out right now. | ||
| It looks like he'll be on October 10th. | ||
| Really looking forward to having him on and talking to him. | ||
| The video is the best workout video I've ever had. | ||
| The Extreme Kettlebell Cardio Workout Series. | ||
| They're so brutal. | ||
| That's all you need, folks. | ||
| You don't need a gym membership. | ||
| A DVD costs $30. | ||
| You take one kettlebell, a 35-pound kettlebell, and it will fuck you up. | ||
| I mean, literally, you don't need any more equipment. | ||
| And that kettlebell will be around to the end of time. | ||
| It's solid metal. | ||
| Those things, they're so fucking durable. | ||
| You never have to worry about them breaking. | ||
| I mean, you buy one, you have that for life. | ||
| You can pass those things, including the artistic ones. | ||
| The werewolf and the chimpanzee, those are solid cast steel. | ||
| I mean, those are iron kettlebells. | ||
| These are like the old Russian metal. | ||
| I guess it's... | ||
| I guess it's iron, but the Russians were the ones who developed these things, this design. | ||
| I mean, there's some of them, they make some of them that are like aluminum on the outside, and they're kind of weighted on the inside. | ||
| These are not those. | ||
| These are solid, solid metal, and they're awesome. | ||
| You can't get, like, any better quality kettlebells. | ||
| We found the best ones you can get online. | ||
| And they're a little more awkward in some ways to lift with than some of the, like, what they call competition kettlebells that are larger kettlebells but lighter. | ||
| But that awkwardness, I think, is good. | ||
| You know, everybody's trying to be fucking comfortable. | ||
| With these goddamn things, they're difficult to use, and that's how I do my squats now. | ||
| I put a 70 in each hand, and I do those things. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| It's awesome. | ||
| Go all the way down to your ass touches your calves and just think you're fucking fighting for your life. | ||
| Think that werewolves are chasing you and shit while you're holding on to it? | ||
| I do. | ||
| I think that, like, my life's in danger. | ||
| I think I'm, like, I'm on a hunting trip and I'm trying to get up a tree and a bear's chasing me or something. | ||
| Do you have, like, the werewolf ones, like, are, like, right here going, I'm coming! | ||
| It's funny, someone referred to that kind of training as like apocalypse training. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, it's all functional movement. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What could you do? | ||
| That functional movement is like, it's huge. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like pull-ups and stuff like that, even just those basic movements. | ||
| Like, it's amazing how I can't do a pull-up still. | ||
| Like, if I was... | ||
| I remember I always feel that feeling if you were like falling from a building and in movies they'll catch themselves in a ledge and they're like... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was just going to delay me dying for a couple more seconds. | ||
| Like, I couldn't possibly pull my body. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Maybe with an adrenaline shot, I shoot up, but something tells me if I had to pull my own body weight up a building, I'd be gone. | ||
| If you had to catch yourself by your hands, you'd have to be like one of those parkour dudes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| Those super gymnast dudes. | ||
| Most of us would just spaz off the building and fucking crash to our death. | ||
| Or if they had coke nails, they would probably like... | ||
| Like werewolf coke nails? | ||
| Have you ever seen those Russian guys who go out on the cranes? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And do chin-ups and stuff? | ||
| Dude, I can't watch that shit. | ||
| It makes my legs feel weird. | ||
| Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. We don't have to end this. | ||
| We can't end this, rather. | ||
| We don't have to do any music. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck it. | |
| We're just talking. | ||
| Use the code with Rogan. | ||
| Save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| A lot of new shit in. | ||
| Including, if you haven't had it yet, the Warrior Bars, which are the most awesome fucking thing ever. | ||
| This thing that we had made, it's an ancient Lakota recipe. | ||
| It's organic buffalo meat. | ||
| I'm bringing stacks of these when I go up to Alaska. | ||
| No antibiotics, no added hormones, and it's got 14 grams of protein and 140 calories. | ||
| Four grams of fat for every two-ounce serving. | ||
| Very healthy for you. | ||
| All kinds of cool shit on it. | ||
| And again, use the code word Rogan, save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Brian, cue the music! | ||
| Is it fucking up again? | ||
| No, you said you didn't want to do music, so I unplugged it. | ||
| Oh, you already unplugged it? | ||
| That's how wonky our fucking system is. | ||
| We need a better system where you can't just unplug. | ||
| Oh, no, I mean, I usually unplug it just so nothing bad happens. | ||
| Like, in the middle of it, I get, like, an instant message or something, and you're like, what the fuck was that? | ||
| Do you get instant messages on your iPad? | ||
| No, but I'm saying if something like that were to happen, you know? | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| Big J! What up, dog? | ||
| Yeah, buddy. | ||
| Thanks for coming in, man. | ||
| Thank you for having me. | ||
| It's very exciting. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is that an e-cigarette you're puffing on? | ||
| You know, Congress is trying to fucking ban those, finally. | ||
| That's fine. | ||
| They're stepping in. | ||
| The government's stepping up and ending these evil, evil e-cigarettes that are stealing money from the mouths of the babies of the families that own the tobacco companies. | ||
| Which is Marlboro. | ||
| Who makes your preferred brand? | ||
| Logic. | ||
| And I do the Logic Zero, no nicotine. | ||
| That's no nicotine. | ||
| Oh, I see. | ||
| So it's like just a habit thing. | ||
| Crutch, yeah, but I haven't. | ||
| I actually looked yesterday on my 29 days from a year. | ||
| That's interesting. | ||
| That's interesting, like a zero tobacco thing that just fills the habit. | ||
| Pure water vapor, yeah. | ||
| Wow, and there's no feeling whatsoever. | ||
| Do you get like a little mental thing that happens? | ||
| A mental thing, yeah. | ||
| When I get the itch to go, like the things I've always wanted to do. | ||
| What are you putting up? | ||
| New York just said that now e-cigarettes are allowed to have paid commercials during movies now. | ||
| What? | ||
| They haven't had that for 16 years since regular cigarettes were allowed. | ||
| Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. | ||
| You mean before the movie plays? | ||
| Yeah, like paid product placements. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| But wait a minute, that's not a product placement. | ||
| Is that before the movie or in the movie? | ||
| Paid product placements in films has been off-limits for tobacco companies for 16 years. | ||
| So now they're allowed to have paid... | ||
| In movies, they're allowed to be paid. | ||
| So what you're saying is if you watch The Incredibles or whatever, they're smoking e-cigarettes. | ||
| They're going to be paid for that. | ||
| I don't know why I said The Incredibles. | ||
| I was going to say, what's the November Man? | ||
| What's the new one? | ||
| So if he's smoking an e-cigarette, it's one of those things. | ||
| Right. | ||
| If he gets paid to do it. | ||
| That's so weird. | ||
| They do that on television. | ||
| You know, like, you'll only be able to use, like, Mac computers on some shows. | ||
| It's so weirdly obvious, too. | ||
| I just remember American Idol, like, every judge happened to be drinking a Coke turned out to the right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's that, too, and there's just... | ||
| There's also, like, on certain shows, like, you'll see everything, even movies, you'll see, like, every product is a Sony... | ||
| And they'll close up on the Sony phone when someone gets a phone call, so you see the Sony logo, and it'll be on a Vio laptop, and you go, oh, Sony has a deal in this movie. | ||
| Actually, when it's not Sony, it seems like they always use Apple computers, and they always have the sticker over the Apple logo or iPhones, but they have the Apple logo covered up for some reason, like every single TV show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So it's almost like Apple's like, no, you have to pay us to show the Apple logo. | |
| No, you got it totally wrong. | ||
| It's the opposite. | ||
| They don't get paid by Apple, so they cover it up. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| If Apple paid them... | ||
| Yeah, they're like, we're not going to advertise your thing. | ||
| But isn't it weird that it seems like every show does use Apple products in all their shows? | ||
| They want to, you know? | ||
| There's like a cult of Apple in Hollywood, for sure. | ||
| You know, I'm not sucking my own dick, but I did a show called P. Diddy's Bad Boys of Comedy on HBO. And that was, it turns out, that was just an entire season of a TV show to promote Sean John clothing. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And they made you, you had to wear Sean John clothing, yeah. | ||
| You had to wear it when you did stand-up? | ||
| So they dressed me up in, like, hip-hop clothes. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's really amazing. | ||
| You had to wear their clothes to do stand-up on their show. | ||
| Yeah, and all they could find in my size was a short-sleeve, like, zip-up sweater that said, Sean John. | ||
| I'm Oh my god. | ||
| And I was about 70 pounds heavier than I am now. | ||
| Wait a minute. | ||
| You did stand up with a Sean John shirt on because they made you wear it? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| I mean, I did BET's Comic View with it. | ||
| My pant leg rolled up in my first year of comedy, I think. | ||
| One pant leg rolled up, like LL Cool J. I bought it in full wigger. | ||
| I went hard on it. | ||
| Did you? | ||
| For how long? | ||
| Just, you know what it was? | ||
| I figured out, I started out in a black comedy room, and I just found out I could fucking destroy if I just went right to them on that level. | ||
| Now, I actually loathe that kind of comedy. | ||
| And it's fun to expose that. | ||
| Like the white guy who goes into a black room and just like, come on, y'all! | ||
| You know when you buy a bitch a drink, and then that bitch walk away? | ||
| I'm gonna go dancing with that drink, bitch! | ||
| I bought it! | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| You know, every joke's like, you up in a club! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, there's a few white guys who take on that role with zealous intention. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| There's a few of those white guys. | ||
| There's always, like, one or two of those out there that, like, get known as a white guy who does black rooms. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gary Owen. | ||
| When I watch him, it blows my goddamn mind. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| It's like listening to... | ||
| What's funny is that when you... | ||
| If they turn the microphones off on the audience, you'd be like... | ||
| And you said there's all black people in the audience. | ||
| You'd be like, well, they're probably furious, right, at what's happening. | ||
| Like, they're basically being called clowns. | ||
| Like, they won't understand a white guy unless he does this. | ||
| And then you turn on the volume of the audience, and they're just roaring, high-fiving, just losing their shit in the audience. | ||
| You're like, really? | ||
| It's such like a... | ||
| It's such a grand scheme pander. | ||
| It blows my mind. | ||
| You're allowed to do that pander though. | ||
| As long as it's like positive, you're allowed to do that pander. | ||
| If you do it good. | ||
| It seems phony. | ||
| It seems so phony. | ||
| It seems really phony. | ||
| Because there's guys I worked with in the black circuit when I started that like... | ||
| Fantastic comics, black... | ||
| Bill Burr used to do some of those rooms, you know? | ||
| But isn't it weird that, like, no one has any issue whatsoever with a black guy who does, like, alternative comedy? | ||
| Like that really deadpan, you know, very white, nerdy comedy. | ||
| No one would say he's taking on the affectation of the white nerds. | ||
| No, but I'll tell you what. | ||
| That guy eats shit in a real black comedy room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The black nerd? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| The black nerd. | ||
| The black nerd is not accepted by... | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, the white guy who acts like a black guy eats shit in a lot of white comedy clubs. | ||
| Yeah, that's what happened when I first came to New York and I was gay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Look at you! | |
| It was ridiculous. | ||
| Wow! | ||
| Look at that pumpkin face. | ||
| It's so crazy that they make you wear their clothes. | ||
| This lady would not stop hunting. | ||
| You couldn't say no. | ||
| Couldn't say no. | ||
| It was a part of the deal. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| There was also some contract where, in that words, he was your manager for three years beyond that show or something. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He got a managerial cut of anything, because assuming anything you got... | ||
| Moving forward from P. Diddy's Bad Boys of Comedy somehow was because of P. Diddy. | ||
| That's no joke, man. | ||
| I've seen that in reality show contracts. | ||
| I've seen that where friends were thinking about going on a reality show, and they brought the contract to someone, and it turns out, say, if they created some new show, like a Real Housewives type show, and then you became the breakout star and took off and had cookbooks and shit like a lot of these chicks do and started making bank. | ||
| They get a big, fat piece of that, man. | ||
| That's not all yours on some of these contracts. | ||
| Oh yeah, because it'll even be called Oxygen Networks, whatever chick presents... | ||
| Yeah, it could be. | ||
| I mean, you're allowed to use that in your credit, as seen on Sean Diddy's Bad Boys Comedy. | ||
| You're allowed to use that. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| What a ridiculous show. | ||
| But they'll own you. | ||
| They're saying that you have no value other than the value that they gave you. | ||
| I mean, they own it. | ||
| They don't benefit from having a talented person on their show that rewards them and gives them ratings, which in turn gives them more advertising. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| They want a piece of your future prosperity. | ||
| Your future prosperity based on you being an entertaining person that they put on television. | ||
| So not only do they want to pay people just a shit tiny amount of money, then they want to script what they're doing, but then treat them like they're not even actors. | ||
| They treat them like they're these weird slaves. | ||
| These robots that they made to put out there in the world. | ||
| Yeah, because no actors let anybody do that. | ||
| You don't get on a sitcom and they say, okay, we own all your book sales and your fucking, you know, anything you do in the movies or anything from here on out. | ||
| But the reality stars, though, Are you totally against it? | ||
| Because there's some issue of the reality stars that are completely made by the network. | ||
| They are. | ||
| So what, though? | ||
| How is it any different than actors? | ||
| Because actors are better at it? | ||
| Because they treat it as a craft? | ||
| Because there is a skill there. | ||
| Yeah, there's something that's like... | ||
| What about the ones that suck? | ||
| But I mean, do you think Snooki should always give some kickback to MTV to some degree? | ||
| Chef Gordon Ramsay? | ||
| I think those are his shows. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He's on like four different shows. | ||
| Yeah, but I think those are his shows. | ||
| Yeah, he creates those. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| He's a pretty famous dude. | ||
| That's not a good example. | ||
| And he also has a skill. | ||
| It's like he's a world-renowned chef. | ||
| It's not like Snooki. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| You're talking about a guy who's already famous. | ||
| It depends on what you do, though. | ||
| If you're like the guy who's on The Bachelor and he owns like a horse stable, if after that show the horse stables business picks up huge, Dude, I think that's crazy talk. | ||
| I think a person who's working for you when they're doing something like that, if you're a producer of a television show or an executive in a network or what have you... | ||
| I don't know who's getting the money. | ||
| You hire someone. | ||
| You're hiring someone because you think that they're going to be the best performer in this production that you're putting on. | ||
| Let's stop pretending they're reality shows. | ||
| The only reality show is fucking cops. | ||
| You know how you know it's a reality show? | ||
| Because one of the guys got shot and killed the other day because it's real. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, one of the sound guys. | ||
| And they filmed the whole thing like regular cops style. | ||
| Yeah, the guy got shot and killed. | ||
| The fucking sound guy did. | ||
| That's the only real reality show. | ||
| There's videos out there? | ||
| No, it hasn't been released. | ||
| Yeah, it's a really recent thing. | ||
| But when you're watching a lot of these shows, whether it's about selling cars or whether it's about being in a pawn shop... | ||
| It's all rigged. | ||
| Yep, it is. | ||
| Everybody knows what the subject's going to be beforehand. | ||
| They know what the scenario is. | ||
| They're painting. | ||
| So you're basically an actor. | ||
| You're some quasi-actor, okay? | ||
| They can't put you on the show. | ||
| Say if we do fucking Big J's Grill House, and I decided, fuck it. | ||
| I should do it. | ||
| I'm going whole hog. | ||
| And then you see like a hog spinning around on a thing. | ||
| I do stand-up comedy, but I also love cooking. | ||
| So I decided to open up. | ||
| And then they, what, they own you? | ||
| They own you? | ||
| They own a piece of you forever? | ||
| That's more shit. | ||
| The reason why they want you on the show in the first place, whether you're some crazy housewife that fucking gets pilled up and starts screaming at people, or whether you're Charlie Sheen, if he ever does a reality show, the reason why they want you is because they think people are going to tune into you and they're going to benefit from that. | ||
| They can't own you because they made you. | ||
| Fuck off! | ||
| No, you're right. | ||
| Who are you talking about originally? | ||
| I can't even remember who you're talking about. | ||
| I'm not talking about anybody in specific. | ||
| I'm talking about these reality shows. | ||
| These reality shows where they take people, and we're talking about him being forced to wear those shirts, and I'm saying that these shows, like him saying that he was going to be managing him for three years afterwards, they connect people in these weird ways where they'll own you for a long time. | ||
| After your thing, they'll get a kickback. | ||
| But I guess you're right. | ||
| Even in the example that I use, I guess Snooki really, she was cast to do something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course she was. | |
| In essence, she is an actor. | ||
| When that camera's on you, man, let's be real. | ||
| It's very difficult for people to be themselves. | ||
| It's just very difficult. | ||
| When the camera's on you and they say, ready, go, you're performing. | ||
| Whether you're performing in some weird sort of sitcom-ish reality show that's just not based on reality. | ||
| I know what the fuck is really going on. | ||
| Did you see Alan Thicke's show? | ||
| What? | ||
| Alan Thicke had this reality show. | ||
| You would watch him and you'd go, why didn't you just do a sitcom? | ||
| Because it's just so set up. | ||
| It's so set up. | ||
| Everything is set up. | ||
| Yeah, the Gene Simmons thing is like that too, right? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's sad and I love Gene Simmons. | ||
| I love Gene Simmons. | ||
| Do you have a Kiss shirt on? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I love Kiss. | ||
| I found a letter the other day. | ||
| Paul Stanley's coming in. | ||
| I found a letter the other day that I wrote to some magazine when I was 11 years old. | ||
| Like a Kiss letter. | ||
| Yeah, my mom saved it. | ||
| So I'm going to bring it in and read it to Paul Stanley. | ||
| What's his new show? | ||
| Don't they have a new show? | ||
| Gene Simmons has a new show. | ||
| Him and Paul Stanley have some arena football show. | ||
| I don't know what they're doing. | ||
| I don't know what they're doing. | ||
| But the reality show, those are hard to watch. | ||
| Especially with ones like, why is Mark Wahlberg doing a reality? | ||
| He's killing it in life. | ||
| Yeah, but he's getting exposed as being a doofus by his reality show. | ||
| That's what I mean. | ||
| It makes him look like... | ||
| It just looks like a desperate move when it's not. | ||
| It's a narcissistic move, I guess. | ||
| I don't even think it's that. | ||
| I think he probably wants to help all those other people out. | ||
| That's helping his brothers. | ||
| Yeah, he's helping his brothers and his family out. | ||
| It's admirable. | ||
| He's sick of helping them, like, actually helping them, like, giving them money, so it's like, come earn a little bit, I guess. | ||
| Having him a part of it, without a doubt, I mean, he's a mega movie star. | ||
| Having him a part of it ensures its success. | ||
| People want to see Mark Wahlberg hanging around with his family, period. | ||
| I'll watch a show, a reality show that I find interesting to some degree, at least give it a couple chances. | ||
| I very much enjoy Mark Wahlberg. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Couldn't even drum up a reason to give it a shot to watch that. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| Other than to watch it for the wrong reasons. | ||
| And if he's welcoming that, that's kind of weird. | ||
| Well, what we were saying earlier I think is really true about these reality shows being completely scripted. | ||
| But the reason why is because these kind of shows can happen where they're just boring. | ||
| Nothing's happening. | ||
| You know, if the Kardashians aren't fighting with their mom or fighting with their boyfriend or this guy's out of rehab or that girl's pregnant, it's always like something you're tuning into. | ||
| There's always some chaos. | ||
| So they know how to hook you up. | ||
| Oh, the best one is the best show by far. | ||
| And I recommend it, actually. | ||
| Like, watch it. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| Even if you skim through it on DVR. The Bad Girls Club. | ||
| You ever see that? | ||
| I've heard of it. | ||
| I could watch that over and over. | ||
| I can't force myself. | ||
| They're pieces of shit. | ||
| I mean, these chicks are garbage. | ||
| And every week they fight... | ||
| Don't put it in the end of it online. | ||
| They fight over... | ||
| Just immediately, out of the gates. | ||
| It's like, this bitch thinks she's cute. | ||
| And they're like, what'd you say, bitch? | ||
| And then they... | ||
| Hospital fights. | ||
| Fights that get in the hospital. | ||
| Well, that's how they stay on television. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And then the producers come out and they say, like, look, we let you guys fight. | ||
| You know, it happens. | ||
| But you hit her in the eyeball with a high heel. | ||
| So we're going to have to ask you to leave. | ||
| And that's like a teary, like, you know, I'm going to miss my girls. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| Hit her in the eyeball with a high heel. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| And people will take things to the next level because that's how you get noticed. | ||
| If you don't take things to the very next level, you don't get noticed. | ||
| Yeah, it works. | ||
| I mean, that's why... | ||
| I mean, the UFC is such a great example of that. | ||
| Buried boxing, you know what I mean? | ||
| It sort of has. | ||
| Well, the problem with boxing is there's only like a few big stars. | ||
| There's like a few fights that you want to see. | ||
| And... | ||
| They're just going to punch, like the Floyd Waverweather, Maidana fight this past weekend. | ||
| Mayweather's a master. | ||
| He's a master boxer. | ||
| It's beautiful to watch. | ||
| I mean, he really knows how to fight. | ||
| I mean, he's just one of the rare, like him and Bernard Hopkins, James Toney is a good example. | ||
| Just the real Andre Ward, just boxing masters. | ||
| Like, if you understand how difficult it is, what they're doing, it's amazing to watch. | ||
| Yeah, but you're watching a guy paint a really beautiful picture where... | ||
| In MMA, you get that too, and you get to satisfy that gladiator urge that you want to see two guys fight. | ||
| My ears perk up on any time I see people fighting on the street or anything. | ||
| Yeah, that's human DNA. Well, just the added elements of takedowns and chokes and slams, and it makes it more crazy kicks. | ||
| And if you're a guy who's a fighter, if you're a young man who can box... | ||
| The reason why there's no stars, I think, is you're almost like, I could probably learn some spin kicks and really... | ||
| That's such a much more glorious way to win. | ||
| Anthony Pettis' cage kicks wins are the prettiest thing you've ever... | ||
| Better than any... | ||
| Or at least... | ||
| Tied with any great Tyson knockout. | ||
| And I love Tyson knockouts. | ||
| Brian, what are you doing? | ||
| Yeah, without a doubt. | ||
| There's that fight that we were talking about earlier where a student, a black girl, attacks a teacher and starts slapping him. | ||
| Don't say what it is. | ||
| Let's show it. | ||
| Are we going to get in trouble for this? | ||
| No. | ||
| Is this World Star Hip Hop? | ||
| No, I think it was on the news. | ||
| So this is like someone filmed it with their iPhone. | ||
| Is that what happened? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, don't worry about shit. | ||
| Whoa, shit! | ||
| Oh my god, she's attacking the teacher. | ||
| Whoa, this is crazy! | ||
| This chick is just swinging at the teacher. | ||
| Oh, he judo hip-tossed her and held her down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa, that's crazy. | |
| That school needs crazy Joe Clark. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| They need to lean on me, principal. | ||
| I think I would have went more crazy. | ||
| He handled it way better than if that chick started slapping me. | ||
| Well, this gets into the subject of what we were talking about the other day with Anthony Cumia getting hit on the street while he's taking photographs. | ||
| People don't react well. | ||
| That guy reacted very well to getting hit. | ||
| He didn't hit back. | ||
| A lot of people just hit back when they get hit. | ||
| Especially if you're a man and you're hitting a woman. | ||
| Anytime people are hitting people, if a woman hits you, it's fucking dangerous, man. | ||
| Getting punched in the face is... | ||
| Everybody thinks that a woman can punch you in the face and you're going to be fine. | ||
| There's a lot of women that will knock you the fuck out, man. | ||
| Especially if they connect on your jaw. | ||
| You can't be hitting people. | ||
| And if you do hit people, man, you've got to be really careful who you're hitting. | ||
| Because if they hit you back, like if that guy just decided to tee off on that chick, I mean, you see the way he threw her to the ground? | ||
| That's a guy who knows martial arts, for sure. | ||
| And he was avoiding all of her hitting him, but he wasn't hitting her back. | ||
| But if he did, man, you're running in flailing your arms and some guy uncorks one on your face. | ||
| You fall back, you're unconscious. | ||
| You're going to bounce your head off the ground. | ||
| And sometimes people die from that shit. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And that's a real problem. | ||
| When people get knocked out, they fall down, and they hit their head on the ground and die. | ||
| It's like you're pretty much maybe having a really bad car accident with your face. | ||
| Yeah, it's just like that. | ||
| The ground is completely... | ||
| Like, there's... | ||
| It resists 100%. | ||
| There's no give to it. | ||
| If you fall on dirt, you're going to be probably okay. | ||
| If you fall on a grassy area, you'll get a concussion. | ||
| But you might crack your head wide open if you fall on concrete. | ||
| I've seen it, man. | ||
| Like a bowling ball. | ||
| You ever dropped a bowling ball? | ||
| That sound? | ||
| Imagine that's your head. | ||
| Yeah, and the amount of distance that your head travels. | ||
| If you're a six-foot-tall man and someone knocks you out, you're probably going to travel a good five and a half, six feet. | ||
| I mean, depending on how you're standing, you go unconscious, that's a lot of distance, probably more than six feet, because you're going to fall back first, too. | ||
| I mean, there's probably going to be a lot of momentum connected to your head bouncing off that concrete. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| Those fucking videos freak me out, man. | ||
| Oh, the fight videos? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There's some crazy face kicks and stuff. | ||
| I can't believe... | ||
| I'm almost so shocked at the mentality of someone that can inflict that kind of harm on somebody. | ||
| I always think that there's a lot of them out there that people aren't aware of. | ||
| So I'm not shocked when I see it. | ||
| I'm always like, I fucking knew it. | ||
| I know there's people like that out there. | ||
| I know there's people that have experienced just... | ||
| Awful shit from the time they were born. | ||
| If you grow up in a household where everybody's beating the fuck out of everybody, and you go to school, and people beat the fuck out of everybody, and you see abuse, and you see people are going to jail left and right, and life has no value, and you're seeing people die, that's what you're seeing. | ||
| When you watch those world star hip-hop tapes where a dude's out cold, and guys are running by just punting him in the head, I've seen a bunch of those. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| It's shocking that someone can do it to somebody else. | ||
| That's a wake-up call for people, man. | ||
| Unless you're... | ||
| If your life was directly threatened, and you were in that kind of a rage, maybe... | ||
| I mean, once somebody's down... | ||
| I don't know, I've been in a... | ||
| I'd say for a guy my age, a decent amount of street fights in my life, but I've never... | ||
| I've never had, like, a kill urge, ever. | ||
| You know, I've lost, I've won, but even when I win, like... | ||
| When it's over, it's kind of over. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I've never, like, tried to put somebody, like, you know, hospitalized. | ||
| I guess it would depend on why you're fighting, right? | ||
| Yes, but that's almost my point. | ||
| But even if, like, I don't know... | ||
| What if it was a guy beating the shit out of your girlfriend? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, what if you pulled up somewhere and just got there right when a guy was beating the shit out of your girlfriend? | ||
| I'm not saying not to knock him out, but I mean, like, to punch somebody's head, like, I don't know. | ||
| I just don't know where my killer rage kicks in. | ||
| Like, actual murderous rage, I don't know where that level is in me. | ||
| Yeah, I think... | ||
| I think it's pretty deep. | ||
| I'm a pretty mellow dude. | ||
| Yeah, but I think if you were confronted... | ||
| I mean, you might be. | ||
| I don't know you. | ||
| But if you were confronted by someone that you were trying to protect, someone that you cared about very much, and you're trying to protect them, that's when people get murderous, when they feel like someone is trying to murder someone you love. | ||
| That's when people get murderous. | ||
| That's a very common one. | ||
| But as I'm saying, my point is being like, I promise whatever the situations were, On the World Star Hip Hop videos where guys are getting face-punted, I promise they weren't... | ||
| It wasn't calling for that. | ||
| Yeah, you most likely... | ||
| Punting a guy who's already unconscious. | ||
| Well, I've seen a few of them where it's people just being drunk idiots. | ||
| Yeah, laughing. | ||
| Yeah, or talking shit, or starting a fight when they were too drunk and they got knocked out, and then once they were out, everybody just started taking free shots at them. | ||
| Did you ever see that... | ||
| It's literally the worst people in the world... | ||
| Quite possibly. | ||
| And I think you would agree, especially someone who's trained in martial arts, which you have. | ||
| Have you ever seen that video of the guy, the weird homeless black guy, who's crazy and he goes into the karate studio? | ||
| Oh yeah, and they kill him. | ||
| I don't know if he's dead, but... | ||
| That was supposedly what happened, was he died. | ||
| I mean, the noise he's making after that excess... | ||
| And what's ridiculous about it, it was such a... | ||
| A cock-wagging, because the reason that guy went so far is because when he was trying to do a show-off like, oh, let me stand up and fight this guy, and shut him up, he wasn't doing very good. | ||
| The karate guy was not beating his ass in this fight. | ||
| This weirdo was actually giving him a hard time to some degree. | ||
| Well, the other guy knew how to fight a little bit. | ||
| You know, the other guy knew how to fight a little bit. | ||
| The guy got killed? | ||
| Yeah, he definitely had to. | ||
| You think so, really? | ||
| Yeah, enough that he had been in fights before. | ||
| You know, he wasn't totally helpless. | ||
| The guy beat the shit out of him, but you were right. | ||
| In the beginning, he wasn't getting the best out of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I think the guy had probably... | ||
| I mean, he must have had some street fighting. | ||
| And he was also crazy. | ||
| He was crazy. | ||
| But the guy thought he was going to knock him around a bit and make him look stupid, but it was taking him long. | ||
| We should Snopes that, because I don't even know if that's true. | ||
| You know, man kills homeless man in Karate Academy. | ||
| I feel racist for assuming he's homeless. | ||
| I don't know if he's homeless. | ||
| I think he is. | ||
| I mean, that's what the story always was. | ||
| Yeah, the guy's black and crazy. | ||
| He's probably homeless. | ||
| In Karate Academy. | ||
| Snopes. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| KarateInstructorUnofficial.com Murder of Mentally Challenged Man... | ||
| Yeah, it seems like it really happened, man. | ||
| But I mean, those face stomps, what kind of human being does that? | ||
| Terrible people. | ||
| But I mean, the kind of guy who gets a buzz cut and grows a mustache and works in a karate school? | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| That guy seems like... | ||
| Not that you can't be crazy and be all those things, but doesn't it seem like a guy who's a little put together? | ||
| Well, the guy who was the main guy was a Marine. | ||
| He's a karate instructor. | ||
| And he let his student, who fought this guy, and his student allegedly actually killed this guy. | ||
| It's like the real life Cobra Kai's. | ||
| They found a real evil karate teacher. | ||
| Yeah, but there's a thing, man, that people do. | ||
| There's a video, Brian, if you want to pull it up. | ||
| Well, actually, you probably shouldn't see someone getting killed, right? | ||
| It's brutal. | ||
| I mean, it's online. | ||
| It's a tough one to watch, even. | ||
| Well, he was up for assault on the 18th of the month on an unregulated charge. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| So, I don't know what the fuck actually happened. | ||
| If it's true, you think with that kind of evidence, should that guy die? | ||
| Okay, this is stupid, man. | ||
| They don't know what the fuck they're talking about. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| This is one of the things that says, Sources in the medical and law enforcement community tell us that indeed the victim must have died. | ||
| The snoring at the end is so-called agonal breathing and a sign of massive brain damage and impending death. | ||
| That's just not true. | ||
| It isn't true. | ||
| When you get knocked out, you snore. | ||
| Whoever said that has never seen someone get knocked the fuck out. | ||
| When people get knocked out, they have that horrible snoring. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| That's really scary. | ||
| Scary as shit. | ||
| Scary as shit. | ||
| The first time I saw it, I was 16. I saw somebody laid out, just... | ||
| It doesn't mean they're going to die. | ||
| That's not true at all. | ||
| So, whoever wrote this story, I don't believe them now. | ||
| This guy should come out and do a show. | ||
| It'd be funny if he just comes in and has a diagonal face. | ||
| His face has just got the guy's footprint in it still. | ||
| There's a video of it, and there's all these stories of it, but none of them substantiate any legal stuff. | ||
| I guess you'd have to look into it deep enough. | ||
| But apparently this shit was a long time ago. | ||
| Yeah, it looked like it was a long time ago. | ||
| But I mean, based on the theory that if he did die, do you think that guy deserves to die, the guy who did it? | ||
| The guy who died deserves to die, or the guy who killed him? | ||
| The guy who killed him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well... | |
| With that kind of evidence, like it's clearly from that. | ||
| It's clear that they were fighting. | ||
| I don't know what the conversation was that led that guy to be fighting that guy. | ||
| I don't know if he said, I'm going to come in and fight to the death. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Do you know what I'm saying? | ||
| I don't... | ||
| It didn't seem like that kind of a dark underground, like, Kumite situation. | ||
| It's like some place in Des Moines, Iowa. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think it was somewhere in Georgia. | ||
| But anyway, the guy was a schizophrenic. | ||
| So it really doesn't matter what he said. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| I mean, that's what... | ||
| It happened in Virginia. | ||
| December 13, 1984. And he's obviously crazy, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's obviously crazy. | |
| That's the thing. | ||
| He walks in and you're like, this guy's a... | ||
| And you could have... | ||
| That guy literally also could have hugged him, and that would have ended the situation. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| There's a thing that happens in martial arts schools, though, where if you're running a martial arts school, crazy people will show up, and they'll start shit. | ||
| I've seen it. | ||
| I've seen it firsthand. | ||
| I've seen it at my Taekwondo school. | ||
| My instructor would take guys like that that would come into schools, and he would make them spar with black belts. | ||
| And put them just like, you know, you go, okay, so you know how to fight. | ||
| You're a pretty good guy, right? | ||
| We're going to do some sparring here. | ||
| Okay, you have your gear? | ||
| We have gear for you. | ||
| Do you have your gear? | ||
| And they would like lure these guys in because they would come to school and they would go, you are a false master. | ||
| You are a false master. | ||
| You don't truly know martial arts. | ||
| And, you know, they try to reason with them. | ||
| Listen, sir, you know, you can... | ||
| Was it the Wu-Tang Clan? | ||
| You can watch a class, but you can't yell things out. | ||
| Like, people... | ||
| There's nutty people that'll come in that have, like, real mental issues. | ||
| And they can be dangerous. | ||
| You know, they also could be martial arts trained, too. | ||
| There's a lot of people that just learned how to throw kicks and punches from friends. | ||
| Like if you teach an athletic person how to deliver a good straight punch and just show them the mechanics of it and they practice on a heavy bag, they can fuck you up if they hit you. | ||
| They don't really have to be like really well trained and disciplined. | ||
| And so there's a lot of people that have martial arts abilities, like the ability to punch you really hard in the face, but they don't really know how to fight. | ||
| They've never been formally trained, but they might charge you and punch you in the face and they could be really dangerous. | ||
| So if you're in a sort of a scenario like that, a lot of times these markets Sure. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Didn't seem like that in this video. | ||
| In this video, it seemed like they lured the guy in, set him up, and then beat the shit out of him to death. | ||
| The saddest part is at one point, during when they're just kind of like, it almost seems like slapboxing, the homeless guy stops him and he goes, you're good. | ||
| He gives him like a compliment. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And he goes, you're good. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of a fucked up video, man. | ||
| And he starts saying, don't stop. | ||
| At one point, he does tell him to stop, and then it just gets so... | ||
| The guy won't stop. | ||
| And he's stopping on him while he's down. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| I don't know if the guy died, but if the guy did die, yeah, that's basically murder. | ||
| Perfect example. | ||
| What we said is, where would that murderous rage come out? | ||
| Would it come out if someone was trying to kill your mom? | ||
| You probably would. | ||
| You probably would come out. | ||
| But this guy wasn't in that scenario. | ||
| The guy was saying, don't. | ||
| He was saying, stop. | ||
| He had given up. | ||
| A healthy person backs away at that point. | ||
| It's merciless. | ||
| It's just complete... | ||
| The guy was so offended somehow. | ||
| But I wonder if they just got away with shit like that and this was the only one that people saw. | ||
| I wonder if this had happened more than once. | ||
| Because if a guy's willing to beat a guy to death like that and then dispose of a body, and this is the only piece of evidence that some schizophrenic guy was murdered... | ||
| Like, that motherfucker's probably killed a bunch of people before. | ||
| And he's a Marine. | ||
| That's the other thing. | ||
| We don't know what kind of action he saw. | ||
| You know, if you're serving your country and you're used to killing people on a regular basis, then you come back home and some fucking crazy schizo guy wants to come into your karate school and talk shit, yeah, you'll let a guy kill him. | ||
| Like, why not? | ||
| You've been killing people for years. | ||
| In the 80s, that was like how they Yelp reviewed karate schools. | ||
| Like, how many homeless guys have you killed? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Three homeless guys and counting. | ||
| I was a part of many challenge matches where people showed up at the school and I got to watch them fight friends. | ||
| I fought dudes that just showed up at the school. | ||
| That was a super common thing. | ||
| But you can, more or less with that, you deliver a couple, really? | ||
| Oh yeah, we took a lot of those guys to the hospital after we beat them up. | ||
| We'd bring them to the hospital after they sparred. | ||
| But easily could have happened to me. | ||
| I mean, I was good, but there's a lot of good guys that came in, too. | ||
| There were? | ||
| Yeah, guys that had talent. | ||
| And when they say they wanted to fight, would you put on gloves? | ||
| Depends. | ||
| Depends on what they said. | ||
| A lot of it was bare knuckle. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Because you didn't know what they wanted to prove. | ||
| What I've never, and I've never been good at, even back in school when it was the... | ||
| Meet me at the library. | ||
| I'd throw a punch then. | ||
| See, I never... | ||
| When the guy would say it because I was like, if I gotta think about it until three, I probably won't show. | ||
| Like, I'll probably chicken out, like, later. | ||
| Like, I'm angry now. | ||
| Let's just do it. | ||
| Let's get into it. | ||
| That's probably the best way to get everything broken up and keep it from being, like, something that no teachers or adults know about. | ||
| The problem is if you go in a field, meet me in the field, then it's like... | ||
| Children of the Corn. | ||
| Someone can get killed, yeah. | ||
| Because Lord of the Flies. | ||
| I had to do that a few times. | ||
| And it was with bullies, and it always sucked, but always it turned out me beating them up. | ||
| So it was great. | ||
| What kind of bullies did you beat up? | ||
| All girls. | ||
| One is now a cop, and the other guy, I think, is dead. | ||
| Yeah, most of the guys who talk the most shit, though, just never had to really be confronted with somebody stepping up to it. | ||
| When you're a kid, everyone's kind of... | ||
| I mean, I bought into it, too. | ||
| That's why I said, but whatever was instilled in me by my dad and step-pop was very much like... | ||
| Get it going while you're angry. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Don't wait for it. | ||
| And that's what I was going to ask when they'd come in. | ||
| They'd say like, you know, Rogan, go teach this punk a lesson. | ||
| Did your heart pump? | ||
| Yeah, you'd get nervous as fuck. | ||
| But the idea behind it was my instructor was training a bunch of people for national tournaments. | ||
| So the idea was like, these guys can't hang with you. | ||
| You're a national level competitor. | ||
| And this is a good thing to experience because it's very dangerous. | ||
| So you're going to have to perform under some very real pressure. | ||
| like people just swinging at your face and you know you're dancing around inside this closed area looking to knock each other out and it happened a lot it happened I mean I'm not a lot but it happened every three four months over the course of like seven years that I was there every three or four months some guy from another school We'd come into town and would want to show people up. | ||
| You'd want to show everybody how much better his style was, and people would duke it out. | ||
| It was crazy when you stop and think about it. | ||
| This is all pre-UFC, and there was a lot of delusional people, too. | ||
| There was a lot of people that thought that their martial art literally could not be beaten. | ||
| They did a certain type of Wing Chun, and if they could go to a Taekwondo school and spar, they would just run through people. | ||
| There would be no way they could stop them. | ||
| Did you get half off your monthly dues if you won the fight? | ||
| I didn't pay after a certain amount of time. | ||
| I taught. | ||
| If you kill three homeless people, you don't have to pay. | ||
| When I was a kid, I started out when I was really young. | ||
| When I was 15, I was completely dedicated, and I was there every day. | ||
| So they would give me things to do. | ||
| They would give me, like, I would clean things, or I would teach classes. | ||
| I taught a lot of private lessons. | ||
| Like, the people that are first starting out, you have to learn in private lesson form. | ||
| And since I advanced really quickly and I'd spent so much time there, I was pretty good at breaking down the technical aspects of certain moves. | ||
| You know what's funny? | ||
| And pardon the handjob here, but I think you're a fantastic comedian. | ||
| Super funny. | ||
| And you have such the origin story of a guy who would not be. | ||
| But yet I know a few people like that too, people that are very strict in life about certain things. | ||
| Mike Vecchione, hilarious comedian. | ||
| He's a very regimented guy, grew up football, he was good at it, he excelled wrestling, went to Penn State, wrestling there. | ||
| Hilarious comedian, but usually that doesn't breed the funny guy. | ||
| Yeah, I think people have... | ||
| Usually like the introvert or the weird kind of like social awkward guy or the class clown type goes on to that. | ||
| That's usually someone who's like a strict like, you know, usually that story becomes like, you know, I have four kids. | ||
| They all wear dockers and fucking sweaters. | ||
| No one says fucking. | ||
| I'm not strict. | ||
| I just get into things. | ||
| I'm just very motivated. | ||
| I wouldn't say I'm disciplined as much as I get more obsessed. | ||
| I'm disciplined at things that I'm obsessed about. | ||
| But I'm not a strict person in any other way. | ||
| I'm not strict socially. | ||
| Usually the comics, a guy who's in shape... | ||
| And doing comedy and cares about that and cares about his health. | ||
| It tends to not always be. | ||
| It's usually a guy that's like some fucking some pig the other day. | ||
| This fat broad because at 165 pounds you slob. | ||
| Just being like that and you're like, who's relating to this? | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| And you definitely transcend that. | ||
| But I'm saying it's weird that I don't think that always happens. | ||
| I think it's more of an odd thing. | ||
| It could happen. | ||
| It's when all of your... | ||
| Like, flaws kind of become your virtues in comedy, you know? | ||
| So the nerd who got beat up, now he's telling his stories about getting beaten up and now girls will fuck him because he knows how to tell it funny. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| That's usually the origin story. | ||
| Yeah, but it doesn't have to be. | ||
| See, that's the cool thing about comedy is there's so many versions, you know? | ||
| Like, black guys have always had that thing where they're allowed to dress up really cool on stage, wear gold chains and crazy leather outfits. | ||
| Like, remember Eddie Murphy in Delirious and in Raw? | ||
| But it's the entire difference... | ||
| Of black comedy and white comedy. | ||
| If you're going to take by those circuits, I said there's definitely comics that bridge both worlds. | ||
| But the difference in white mainstream comedy is very self-deprecating. | ||
| It's like, my little dick, fat guy, bald, whatever it is. | ||
| And black is very like, so I'm slanging the dick, right? | ||
| And it's just like... | ||
| I mean, the fucking... | ||
| A stool at a black comedy club is probably owed a lot of money in civil court to just like... | ||
| Just been fucked. | ||
| I mean, yeah, just like off to the side stages with a bunch of like broken up stools like from gang rapings. | ||
| I mean, there's so like... | ||
| But when I would watch... | ||
| I grew up like a big fan of comedy and watching like everyone in the 80s that I would watch to getting to where Def Jam became the thing. | ||
| I loved all that too. | ||
| And I just didn't even know, I almost didn't even notice the difference. | ||
| That comedy had taken a turn to like, you know, how good you are at fucking and how big your dick is. | ||
| Well, it's, comedy can be anything, man. | ||
| It's just gotta be funny. | ||
| That's what people don't understand. | ||
| Like, if anybody wants to say that... | ||
| Like, I've heard people say this. | ||
| This is like a social justice warrior thing that they say. | ||
| That real comedy always punches up. | ||
| Meaning, like, get at the bad person that's above you, dominating you, the boss, the president. | ||
| Real comedy punches up. | ||
| and you know you don't pick on any people that are below you but the reality is sometimes punching down is fucking hilarious sure it's not it's not always but it's about what what is the subject matter like what it like you could like i remember louis ck doing a bit about how his kid is a fucking asshole sure and it was really fucking funny because first of all you knew he wasn't serious right it was i mean he was talking about his kid like in a frustrated way About a kid just being a kid. | ||
| I'm sure he loves his kid like he loves life itself. | ||
| But because he's punching down. | ||
| He's like shitting on his kid for being an asshole. | ||
| And it's hilarious. | ||
| There's no rules. | ||
| There's no rules like a guy has to be self-deprecating. | ||
| The guy's saying, so I'm slinging that dick, right? | ||
| I'm giving that good dick. | ||
| You know when you're giving that good dick and you feel that asshole reverberating off your ball sack every time you come down home? | ||
| Blah-da-loop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Blah-da-loop. | |
| You could be crying laughing listening to that. | ||
| Crying laughing. | ||
| Or you could be crying laughing listening to a guy who talks about it. | ||
| We can never get laid. | ||
| The variable in those things is just... | ||
| Is it funny or is it not funny? | ||
| That's the important variable. | ||
| Me and my buddy watched a Nick Cannon special. | ||
| You want to have fun, man. | ||
| Get stoned and just watch a Nick Cannon special. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| I love watching just ridiculously horrible comedy. | ||
| It's my favorite thing in the world. | ||
| I can't do it. | ||
| And just watching Nick Cannon buy an hour of television so he can slowly but surely peel down from a tuxedo to a tank top is... | ||
| First of all, he has a backdrop that's just a million light bulbs, so when he moves, it's going to give you a fucking seizure. | ||
| And his jokes are all like, you know you meet a girl up in a club and you're all like, spladoosh! | ||
| Just noises, and then apparently Mariah Carey was texting that night, like live tweeting or whatever, and she goes, I told you my baby was funny! | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Did she say that? | ||
| I love that. | ||
| If you want to watch a show that'll just bring joy to your life, have you ever heard of Bill Bellamy's Who Got Jokes? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| I'm scared. | ||
| Just take a weekend and really dig into it because it's a... | ||
| I don't think I have it in me. | ||
| It's a comedy. | ||
| Yeah, you don't like watching bad comedy? | ||
| No. | ||
| This is... | ||
| It's on TV One, which is a black TV network. | ||
| I didn't know there existed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's called TV One and Bill Bellamy hosts it. | ||
| Is it a new show? | ||
| No. | ||
| It's done now, I think, too. | ||
| Tommy from Martin. | ||
| But it airs on marathons on this network. | ||
| Tommy from Martin is called the Pope of Comedy. | ||
| He sits in a throne and judges. | ||
| As three comics come out... | ||
| And they do the first round is just their set in front of an audience. | ||
| And there's three people from the audience picked at random to be the judges where they give a score from one to five, five being the best, one being the worst. | ||
| Everyone gets a five. | ||
| And if you give someone a four, the audience loses their shit. | ||
| They get very mad at you. | ||
| That's round one. | ||
| The comedy has always got awful. | ||
| And then it's unprepared usually. | ||
| It looks like these guys didn't know they were going to do a TV show that day. | ||
| And then round two they come out and they do some kind of like challenge that you don't know what. | ||
| So they have a heckler in the audience or somebody comes out like they're a producer and hits you in the face with a pie and you got to keep going. | ||
| And then they judge you on a score from one to five. | ||
| And it's just horrible, horrible comedy. | ||
| But it makes me laugh. | ||
| Why does that make you laugh? | ||
| Just like, because it works. | ||
| I'm amazed by, I'm very interested, and there's actually a science to comedy. | ||
| Don't you find that interesting? | ||
| There's an actual science. | ||
| You can just say the right words. | ||
| Have you ever seen Comedy Hypnotist? | ||
| No. | ||
| Never seen one of those guys? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-mm. | |
| Dude. | ||
| You gotta see a comedy hypnotist if you get a chance. | ||
| A real one. | ||
| I just assume it's fake, yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, not fake at all. | ||
| There's something that really stupid people are susceptible to. | ||
| That you're not susceptible to. | ||
| Someone can say some things to you on stage... | ||
| Snap their finger and some people literally go into a trance. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| They can do it. | ||
| Those people will laugh at anything, too. | ||
| They're dumb as fuck. | ||
| I think what the reality of this world is that there's people that are... | ||
| their brains don't work so good. | ||
| They just don't. | ||
| And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. | ||
| It's not about education. | ||
| It's not about how much information you give them. | ||
| It's not about the environment they're in. | ||
| They have nine-volt brains. | ||
| No, I know. | ||
| And what's funny is, the audience has never communally stood up to someone who's like, that's hacky. | ||
| The audience never says that. | ||
| It's always being judged by other comics. | ||
| In general, when there's a hacky comic on stage, usually he's destroying. | ||
| It depends on where you're at, right? | ||
| I mean, if you're in LA or New York, those guys could be beat and shit. | ||
| Possibly. | ||
| But forums like this, where comics and people get to talk, and there's so much inside information out now, I think it kind of weeds through that happening. | ||
| And now I think the audiences are a little smarter in some circles. | ||
| But they have to be fans. | ||
| Do you remember going to see comedy when you first started to go to open mic nights and see guys that you thought were really funny? | ||
| And then, like, a year later, you fucking couldn't even be in the room when they're on stage. | ||
| Oh, I mean, the people I worshipped when I started, I was like, just the way he kills, you know? | ||
| Like, I gotta do a joke where I open up and say, DJ, put that shit on one more time. | ||
| And I gotta, because everyone had to have one of those. | ||
| I used to get down to underwear on stage. | ||
| Used to get down to my underwear posing to the 2001 theme. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| And then one day, no one left. | ||
| I didn't do it ever again. | ||
| I went to see this guy when I was in Boston. | ||
| Before I did stand-up, I went to see this comedy at Play It Again Sam's. | ||
| It was like this movie house that had stand-up in the basement. | ||
| And this guy did these fake ad-libs. | ||
| And I knew they were fake while it was happening. | ||
| I didn't understand comedy. | ||
| But he pointed to me and he goes, and this guy's over here saying this... | ||
| But I didn't say anything. | ||
| I don't remember what it was. | ||
| But I remember he's like, what? | ||
| I couldn't believe that he was pretending that there was some sort of a weird interaction between us for the rest of the audience. | ||
| And so I realized that this guy was just bullshitting, and his acts was kind of this fake dance. | ||
| And then as I got to know him, I kept seeing him over and over and over again. | ||
| He was doing the same thing. | ||
| Every time he would set this bit up, he would point to a guy in the audience, and he's like this, and he would say the same thing. | ||
| He had his fake ad-libs with the crowd. | ||
| There was no variation. | ||
| So if you saw them more than once, the act was done. | ||
| Like, the veil had been lifted. | ||
| And it doesn't bring any joy to watch, like, that level of shitty comedy, like, happen? | ||
| No. | ||
| It makes me sad. | ||
| Like, it makes me laugh. | ||
| So I used to... | ||
| Any show when it comes... | ||
| I just can't believe sometimes when you watch somebody and they're on television and their first joke is, now I know what you guys are thinking. | ||
| Actually, I had a guy open for me one time on the road where he had a joke. | ||
| I forget what it was about, but whatever it was, the crowd never laughed in the middle of it. | ||
| And he goes, so my family used to run a funeral home. | ||
| He goes, now you guys laugh, but no one laughed at that. | ||
| But every time he goes, now you guys laugh. | ||
| That's always funny. | ||
| Now, I know what you're thinking. | ||
| You see me, and I'm like... | ||
| It happens a lot. | ||
| I feel like you should never, and a lot of us do, but you should never get on television with your first ever set. | ||
| You know, when you go on the road, and me, you know, when I go on the road and someone opens for me, I'm generally getting somebody doing their first set. | ||
| You remember that? | ||
| Like, every time you get on stage, it was the introduction, like, so, my name's Jay, and I blah blah blah. | ||
| You know, it's like, first day girl comedy, so I'm so-and-so, and I'm a total slut, and I sex with my friends, and... | ||
| But that first set makes it on TV a lot now because there's so many forums. | ||
| Yeah, but that's just life. | ||
| You just got to move on. | ||
| Just deal with it. | ||
| It's probably not good to have your first set, but if you've been doing stand-up for 10 years or whatever it is when you get your first set on TV, six years, just fucking accept it sucks. | ||
| Just accept that it sucks and move on. | ||
| And you won't know it sucks until you see it. | ||
| You got to watch it on TV later in your career when you're better. | ||
| And you go... | ||
| But I'm almost saying I'm surprised that the behind the scenes don't catch up to like... | ||
| It seems like there's no... | ||
| They don't take any cues from the actual community of comedy itself. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| They're like, this guy's been doing comedy for five months. | ||
| Of course he should be on Letterman. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Oh, the behind the scenes people. | ||
| No, they're always looking for someone to come along that's a prodigy that figures it out after four months. | ||
| It's so weird, but I don't know if they do that person any favors. | ||
| Well, they definitely don't. | ||
| They don't give a fuck, though. | ||
| All they care about is what can they sell. | ||
| Just like the reality show, if you've noticed, if you've watched the video, I've moved into a new chair, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I don't know if this one's going to make it. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think the other thing is better. | ||
| The no-back thing's better. | ||
| But they're just trying to sell you. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| If they can sell the hookahs, you've only been doing stand for five months, they're not going to protect you. | ||
| They're not going to go, oh, that big J, he's got potential for the future. | ||
| Let's not put his five-month-old comedy set. | ||
| No, fuck you. | ||
| Get on TV. Who gives a shit? | ||
| Sink or swim. | ||
| There's many more people they have to pay attention to. | ||
| They don't give a fuck about it. | ||
| Oh, look, I'm sure the fucking, what's it, the Hunger Games people are pretty thrilled that J-Law's snatch is out there. | ||
| That's huge for them. | ||
| Just drew a whole new audience to that show. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know how those two are connected, but we're talking about someone being hacked now. | ||
| That's not what I was talking about. | ||
| I thought you were saying about selling things. | ||
| I was saying the companies that don't care, like the movie companies don't care how she gets exposed. | ||
| It does them a good job. | ||
| They don't protect her. | ||
| They don't come out. | ||
| They would have protected her, I'm sure. | ||
| They probably wouldn't have let it be released. | ||
| But it's to their benefit now that it is. | ||
| I kind of guess so. | ||
| Yeah, but it's a different thing. | ||
| I was like, did it have nothing to do with it? | ||
| I'm like, no. | ||
| There was a connection in my mind. | ||
| There was something there. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I guess. | ||
| I've only seen the first one. | ||
| Now I want to watch more after seeing her naked. | ||
| Right, which is good for the company. | ||
| So the movie company, even though it's like they pay her and she has a relationship with them, they don't give a fuck if something to her detriment builds up their movie. | ||
| Yeah, I could see that, probably. | ||
| Yeah, probably after it's over, they probably would have protected her from it getting out, but once it's out, they're like, hey, look, in the long run, we're going to do Brooke. | ||
| She looks great. | ||
| I sat around the office and... | ||
| It's true. | ||
| She looks great. | ||
| The only way you're ever going to get protected as a comic is if you have a manager. | ||
| And the manager will say, listen, Jay, let's keep hitting the clubs and wait a year. | ||
| Wait a couple of years. | ||
| Just work. | ||
| Where's that manager at? | ||
| Jeff Sussman. | ||
| My guy. | ||
| It's hard. | ||
| You've got to develop comedians. | ||
| You've got to treat them as a long-term project. | ||
| You can't move people into a house before you even put a roof on it. | ||
| And you can't pretend it's done when it's not done. | ||
| And when you see a young guy that's got potential, I mean, everybody that we've ever met, they go through periods. | ||
| Like you were talking about your black comedy period. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| People go through these weird phases where they're trying to find themselves as, I hate to use the word, but artists. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Trying to find myself as an artist, man. | ||
| But the thing is, there's a video of you five months in, and then it's terrible, but there's a way better video two years later. | ||
| Well, if someone watches both, they go, oh, Jay got better. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with... | ||
| Oh, I did BET's Comic View thrice. | ||
| Three times. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Who was hosting? | ||
| The first one ever was Lester Barry, who was a Black Circuit comic. | ||
| It's very religious nice the second time I did it was R&S J in Miami and the third time Third time was funny because I said by this point I go. | ||
| I'm not doing comic view ever again Like I just I've written that one off. | ||
| I'm not doing it. | ||
| It's always an awkward situation when I go there, too Why? | ||
| Because I'm the only white guy the production is white and they put some weird responsibility on me to be like the den mother of the comics and No! | ||
| So I'd smoke cigarettes, and I'm going to go outside and smoke a cigarette. | ||
| She goes, okay, wait a second. | ||
| She goes, everyone, Jay's going to smoke. | ||
| If you want to smoke, go out now with him, and everyone's got to be back in here in 15 minutes. | ||
| And then she tried to give me all of their food tickets, so I'd be responsible for them. | ||
| It was very bizarre. | ||
| Just because you're white? | ||
| Yeah, I assume so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That said, a lot of the black comics would do things like, I'm going to go out and smoke, and then go fuck a chick for five hours. | ||
| Try to come back 15 minutes before the show starts. | ||
| That did happen. | ||
| Well, what'd they want you to do? | ||
| Just hang out all day waiting for the show to start? | ||
| Oh, they put you there at nine in the morning until I went on at midnight. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, because they just don't want... | ||
| They just wrangle everybody because they don't believe anyone's going to stay. | ||
| They have no belief they're going to stay there. | ||
| They've done entire shows about how hacky they are. | ||
| Like, they'll do a show where the same joke gets repeated by different comedians. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, yeah. | |
| And so I went and did it. | ||
| Kevin Hart ended up hosting, I think, one of the last ever seasons. | ||
| But it was called One Mic Stand. | ||
| Or something like that. | ||
| I think that's what it's called. | ||
| One Mic Stand. | ||
| But it wasn't called Comic View. | ||
| And Kev called me and asked me if I wanted to do it or if I would do it. | ||
| And I said, yeah, but I don't want to do Comic View anymore. | ||
| He goes, it's not Comic View. | ||
| It's different. | ||
| They're flying people out now. | ||
| They're doing it all right and set it up good. | ||
| And when I signed the contract, it's Comic View Presents One Mic Stand. | ||
| They gave us a big speech before we taped anything. | ||
| And the guy was like, we're changing Comic View. | ||
| It's going to be different. | ||
| And the guy specifically said... | ||
| No more stool humping and DJ hit it and pulling out fake teeth. | ||
| And I mean, we weren't three comics in before a guy was wearing fake teeth and fucking a stool. | ||
| I mean, not even... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fake teeth? | |
| And by the way, when he's giving this speech... | ||
| To it, these same guys who are getting ready to fuck stools and put in fake teeth are doing like, you know, like staring at him, give the speech, and like nodding their heads like Pacino's speech on any given Sunday. | ||
| It's like an emotional, powerful speech, how we're changing comic view now. | ||
| And then they went and put their fake teeth in. | ||
| And they're like, yeah, let's go out there and show the world something. | ||
| And then two minutes later, you're like, DJ, put that shit back on. | ||
| You can fuck a bitch with fake teeth to this one. | ||
| Those black circuits made for some great, great, great stories. | ||
| I had a guy one time, this is a true story. | ||
| Kev used to host a club in Atlantic City, Kevin Hart, called Sweet Cheeks. | ||
| Sweet Cheeks. | ||
| Violent. | ||
| It was like a pimps and players ball. | ||
| No bullshit. | ||
| It was like everyone was wearing like zoot suits and shit and bringing like three chicks apiece and they were all dressed up fancy, but they'd interrupt dancing to do a comedy show. | ||
| In the middle of the fucking night, like 2, 3 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah, and I was hosting at one time for Kev. | ||
| He couldn't do it, and they hated me. | ||
| They absolutely didn't like me at all, and I was going to bring a comic on stage, and I go, alright, buddy, I'm going to bring you up next to go, what's your name? | ||
| And he goes, Ignit Nigga. | ||
| And I was like, dude, don't make me say that, please. | ||
| And he's like, that's my name, man. | ||
| That's my stage name. | ||
| And I begged him to let me call him by his regular name. | ||
| And I go, it's not going to go good if I stay. | ||
| He goes, it's fine, man. | ||
| I'll explain. | ||
| It's my name, you know. | ||
| He set you up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When he went on stage, he goes, you going to let that white boy call me a nigga? | ||
| And I left. | ||
| I just left the show. | ||
| I drove home. | ||
| Yeah, that was like, it was a dangerous place, man. | ||
| The bouncer outside was a bounty hunter also. | ||
| So he would run IDs for everybody that walked in. | ||
| Like, he'd get five people a night on warrants. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| He was a bounty hunter and an ID checker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's like fishing in a fucking swimming pool. | ||
| Really, yeah. | ||
| That's so not fair. | ||
| That seems like you're shooting deer in a stock pond. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That just seems really fucked up. | ||
| Especially at a nightclub. | ||
| Yeah, and it was just like... | ||
| And a pimps and players nightclub. | ||
| Yeah, they threw chicken wings at me one time. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I think I was doing that joke where I was getting down to my underwear. | ||
| Who the fuck wants them to do comedy at 2 o'clock in the morning in a place where they have dancing? | ||
| I used to do these ski trip shows that were like black ski trips, and black people don't even ski at all. | ||
| They'd go, and it's like a bus thing. | ||
| They'd go to this hotel, and they'd all just like fuck each other. | ||
| Everyone would just fucking drink green alcohol. | ||
| What's green alcohol? | ||
| Just like whatever, you know, like Tangerays and something. | ||
| The drinks were always great, like thug passion. | ||
| I like that thug passion. | ||
| So it's like mixed drinks. | ||
| Yeah, and I'd go up there and open. | ||
| Sometimes I would headline for these, like, black ski trips, and they just fucking hated it. | ||
| They wanted no parts of the comedy show. | ||
| I never understand why they force... | ||
| Comedy into places where it doesn't need to be at all. | ||
| Well, people make money, you know? | ||
| I'm sure Kevin Hart got a nice piece of pie. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I mean, well, he was very young. | ||
| We were like, brand new in comedy. | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, if somebody offers it, you're like, yeah, we can do a show there. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, the bar shows in New York, that's become such a thing. | ||
| Bar shows. | ||
| Bar shows. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I go to them with this expectation. | ||
| What blows my mind about it, I think bar shows are a cool thing to have as far as open mics, basically, little produced shows. | ||
| You can get people on, but I'll hear my friends or younger comics who I know, and I'll be like, where are you at tonight? | ||
| And they go, so-and-so. | ||
| I go, oh, well, do this other thing with me. | ||
| Like, don't go to that bullshit bar show. | ||
| And it's like, I've been booked for this for three months. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| Yeah, they call you. | ||
| It's like, you want to do my bar show? | ||
| It seats about 25 people. | ||
| You know, you get like a drink ticket or half price off drinks and it's on Tuesday at, you know, 9 p.m. | ||
| somewhere in Nowhereville, fucking Brooklyn. | ||
| And then it's like, oh yeah, I guess I can do it. | ||
| And it's like, you know, okay, so I'm looking at, like, I have my book open here, like, December? | ||
| It's like May? | ||
| Like, they really booked these things far out. | ||
| Is that just because there's so many comics in New York? | ||
| It is. | ||
| I think it's a lot of it becomes, like, people just getting their friends on and shit, probably, if I had to guess. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because a lot of these shows have become, like, legit to some degree. | ||
| Well, if it's a good show, if it's well run, it's very valuable to comedians. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like, you know you go to Wednesday Night Comedy Juice, the improv. | ||
| It's always going to be packed. | ||
| It's a great place to work out material. | ||
| Like, that becomes valuable. | ||
| That's the improv, though. | ||
| Yeah, but you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| So shows like that become valuable, and then little side gigs. | ||
| Like, what is that place you were talking about? | ||
| Three of Clubs? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Three Clubs, yeah. | ||
| There's tons of bar shows, but the old Red Rocks has one now that's in the corner. | ||
| But the problem is New York is a billion times more bar shows than L.A. So all the local comics in L.A., they'll get that one shitty bar show, but it's like a month away when they get booked. | ||
| How many rooms are there all told in New York, if you had to guess? | ||
| You live in Manhattan? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How many rooms do you think? | ||
| How many stand-up rooms are in the city? | ||
| Actual clubs? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We could run through them, really. | ||
| Stamp New York, Comic Strip. | ||
| Cellar. | ||
| Cellar. | ||
| Gotham. | ||
| Gotham. | ||
| The Stand. | ||
| Stand. | ||
| Caroline's. | ||
| Caroline's. | ||
| Then there's Greenwich Village Comedy Club, New York Comedy Club, Broadway Comedy Club. | ||
| New York Comedy Club's still around. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dangerfields? | ||
| Bought by a new guy Dangerfields. | ||
| We're at 10. There is LOL Comedy Club in Times Square. | ||
| LOL. Yeah. | ||
| How dare they? | ||
| And then there's like places, there's like, and then like some rooms too. | ||
| There's Joe Coy there every week. | ||
| Times Square LOL. LOL. Chicks love him, LOL. He's a good dude, I'm not fucking with him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
11, we're at 11. No, 12. And then there's like, oh, Eastville Comedy Club? | |
| 13, I think. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's pretty nuts. | ||
| Yeah, so that's the major clubs. | ||
| It's real clubs. | ||
| Did you get Gotham? | ||
| Did we say Gotham? | ||
| I did say Gotham. | ||
| So that's the major clubs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then on top of that, you've got how many bar shows, do you think? | ||
| In the city or around even the boroughs? | ||
| Just in the city. | ||
| Just in the city. | ||
| Just in Manhattan? | ||
| I mean, there's got to be fucking 10 a night, if I had to guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
10 a night? | |
| At least. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's also like the people that live in New York and go to New York, they're more into plays and live performances than I think the West Coast is. | ||
| Well, if you're a young person or any person who's got free time at night and you're looking for some entertainment, it's one of the best places in the world to go. | ||
| You can go to The Cellar. | ||
| You can go to Caroline's. | ||
| I mean, you can see live comedy in New York every night of the week. | ||
| You can see Killers. | ||
| You can see, you know, Attell and C.K. and all these different people show up at clubs. | ||
| I mean, it's one of the best places in the world to go out and see live comedy. | ||
| Oh, New York, yeah. | ||
| Fantastic. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, like, just to go out. | ||
| I mean, that's what people, if they've never been to New York before, they're like, there's so many restaurants, there's so many this, there's so many that. | ||
| It's a fucking mad scene. | ||
| I drove by the Laugh Factory last night out here, and it was like, the line was, like, wrapped around the building. | ||
| That's because Jamie doesn't let people in. | ||
| He wants that line to be wrapped around the building. | ||
| He doesn't just, like, let people in. | ||
| He makes you stay outside to keep that line out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, really? | |
| And then we're signing up for tomorrow. | ||
| A lot of them is like the open mic nights. | ||
| The open mic nights, they make people sit out there from 9 o'clock in the morning, whatever the fuck the sign-up time is, and they have to wait in line until they get picked, and then they go on next week. | ||
| They don't even go on that week. | ||
| They wait in line all day, and they go on the next week. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| We've been rallying against this. | ||
| Is it just like a control thing? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's a ridiculous idea that he has that in doing so, he makes the club look more special. | ||
| Because there's always a big line. | ||
| It's tough to get in. | ||
| Why put your thumb on people that could eventually say, this is my home, this is the club that showed me the love. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I never got that. | ||
| It's that same evil shit that makes producers put someone on a reality show and then try to own everything about them for the next 10 years or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| It's that greedy thing that people do out here. | ||
| This weird, creepy fucking behavior where... | ||
| The people that are coming up are not respected as potential equals. | ||
| And if they do somehow or another make it through, it's never through their own merit. | ||
| It's because of the good nature and your generosity that's led them to this position of being a good showbiz person. | ||
| I find it weird with any comedy club that doesn't have comics hanging out at it. | ||
| They want people to hang out, comedians to hang out. | ||
| That place, the Laugh Factory, that's the one thing that I've always heard. | ||
| No, they don't let you hang out there. | ||
| You can hang out there. | ||
| There's a club upstairs. | ||
| I know, I think, but that's only to a certain group of the big guys. | ||
| But the average comic is what always tells me that. | ||
| I did a club on the road one time where there was, like, young comics hanging out, so I was, like, I talked to them for a little while, and I was, like, you know, if you guys want to go on, like, you know, you can put you guys on, like, you guys, each one do, like, seven minutes or something, go for it. | ||
| And they told me, and I confirmed with the club that they go, oh, no, the club doesn't do guest spots at all. | ||
| I'm, like, at all? | ||
| I go, I thought it's kind of up to the, is it up to, like, the headliner if he, like, doesn't care? | ||
| Like, is it fine? | ||
| They go, no, that's just their policy, don't do it. | ||
| I go, oh, and I talked, when I talked to the manager guy, I was, like, why would you... | ||
| Discourage comics from hanging out. | ||
| It's very like, you know what I mean? | ||
| It doesn't make, it's not a friendly environment. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, Wendy Curtis, you know. | ||
| That's kind of the thing is you work those shitty open mic shows. | ||
| So eventually maybe they'll give you a shot at like hosting a weekend or, you know, doing something like that, guest spots. | ||
| Do you know Wendy from Comedy Works in Denver? | ||
| I know who she is. | ||
| She had a great way of describing it. | ||
| She goes, why would you sell widgets and not have a widget development team? | ||
| If you want to sell other people's widgets, you can make your own in-house widgets. | ||
| What are you doing when you're running a comedy club? | ||
| You're not developing any local talent? | ||
| You don't develop any of it? | ||
| It's one of the things, they were moving improvs into town, and she was saying, what are you guys going to do for developing local talent? | ||
| And they were like, nothing. | ||
| She was like, what? | ||
| That's alien. | ||
| She's developed a bunch of comedians out of that club. | ||
| She has a whole system of taking people from MCs to middle acts to headliners. | ||
| It's this really well thought out, really conscientious system of helping these artists. | ||
| Sometimes they have their babies, though. | ||
| When people come to New York, yeah, it's always a coin flip of someone's like, what city are you from? | ||
| And, you know, Miami. | ||
| Like, oh, what was your home club? | ||
| Like, oh, the owner there was a piece of shit. | ||
| Treat me like an asshole. | ||
| What'd you say about babies? | ||
| Some of them are babies? | ||
| No. | ||
| What'd you say? | ||
| Did I say babies? | ||
| Yeah, but I don't know. | ||
| Because you were saying that people complain about their home club. | ||
| When someone moves to New York from their home club, where they started, it's a coin flip whether they're going to say it was a great experience, they're very supportive of them. | ||
| They get behind some people, the local clubs, and then some, they're just like, they're such shitty people. | ||
| I never understand being shitty to local talent. | ||
| There's crazy people who own clubs, crazy people who own dance clubs, crazy people who own restaurants. | ||
| There really tends to be a certain personality type, yeah. | ||
| You gotta be a hardcore motherfucker to own a bar, you know, and to own a comedy club and just want to deal with comedians all the time, you gotta be either someone who loves comedy or an insane person. | ||
| Do you get frustrated when people that are around comedy enough, even if it doesn't make sense in their life, they're like, I'm gonna try, and they start doing open mics or you like, go for it. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Do you get like, I know there's club owners in New York even that just fucking start doing comedy after owning the club for like three years, they're like, I'm doing it, I'm gonna give it a shot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why not? | |
| Who knows? | ||
| Maybe they'll be good. | ||
| They hire bookers and the bookers start trying to do comedy. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| Well, Eleanor Kerrigan, she was a waitress at the comedy store forever. | ||
| I knew her as a waitress for more than 10 years. | ||
| Now she's a real professional comic. | ||
| She started many, many years in being around comedy. | ||
| Did she have no thought about doing it ever? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| She's an actress. | ||
| She was an actress. | ||
| She did a lot of acting. | ||
| She was in wrestling. | ||
| She did some pro wrestling. | ||
| And then somewhere along the line, she just decided, fuck it, I'm going to go on stage. | ||
| And she started doing stand-up. | ||
| Yeah, I mean... | ||
| Now she's a pro. | ||
| She's funny. | ||
| I mean, it's crazy. | ||
| I mean, she's smart. | ||
| So she understands what's funny and what's not funny. | ||
| She knows what's hack and what's not. | ||
| So she didn't fall into any pitfalls. | ||
| Maybe I feel the ego strike because I feel like when it's done... | ||
| Kurt Metzger? | ||
| You know Kurt? | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Kurt's never had a girlfriend that hasn't eventually been like, well, if this shithead can do it, I can do it. | ||
| And they've never vocalized that. | ||
| But in my mind, if my chick was like, I want to do comedy, I'd be like, what do you think? | ||
| It looks super simple? | ||
| You think it's that easy? | ||
| You just go, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to do your stupid thing. | ||
| It looks a lot more fun than my stupid thing. | ||
| Well, it's also when they're around comics, they see how fun it is, and they see how comics think, and then they start thinking like comics and saying ridiculous shit. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| If you're around a chick long enough, she'll start seeing how you pick things apart and make jokes. | ||
| Like, if you're around someone who's really funny at work, you know, and this, like, I used to have this boss who was a private investigator. | ||
| Dude was hilarious. | ||
| He was just instantly hilarious. | ||
| Just would find things that were goofy about people and you would just howl with this guy. | ||
| And I learned a lot, like, being around him, I started doing that, too. | ||
| Like, you start, like, seeing how he would find these patterns. | ||
| Like, he was very predatory. | ||
| Like, the patterns that we find that were fucked up in people and just attack those patterns. | ||
| And it's like, you pick it up in relationships, people pick it up in friendships. | ||
| So, you know, Kurt is a funny dude. | ||
| I get these chicks were probably around him, and they're like, you know what, I can fucking do this. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I see what's going on here. | ||
| I guess it means you can make it look effortless, maybe, but like... | ||
| Sort of, but also fun. | ||
| It's definitely fun, sure. | ||
| If you were not enjoying your life and not enjoying your job, but you saw a guy like you having the fucking time of his life, cracking jokes, making shit, you're like, God damn it, I think I could do that. | ||
| He looks way better than a regular job if you're a person that has a regular job. | ||
| And then someone like Big J comes along and you're hanging out with him and you're watching how he does it. | ||
| You're like, this fucking guy's barely working here. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| He's just laughing about shit and writing it down and then figuring out a way to say it on stage in a funny way. | ||
| Fuck selling insurance. | ||
| How many people did you grow up with before comedy that genuinely are happy for you? | ||
| Like really feel it. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| Like, do you have, like, friends from before comedy still? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| And are they, like, genuinely happy for your success and, like, dig what you do? | ||
| I have one friend from, like, growing up that I'm still friends with, and it's because he's the only one of my friends that is doing what he wanted to do also. | ||
| You have to have that self-security before you can, like... | ||
| I go back to Philly constantly. | ||
| Barely. | ||
| I mean, I hung out with a lot of people growing up. | ||
| No one comes out. | ||
| No one gives a shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| None of them give a shit at all. | ||
| None of them come to your shows, you mean? | ||
| Once in a while, one of them will pop up, but a lot of times they'll say they're coming and they don't show up. | ||
| I mean, I stopped giving a shit years ago. | ||
| I realized it all at one time because a bunch of them did come out once. | ||
| And afterwards, they were like, good job, man. | ||
| So we're all going over. | ||
| It's like dollar beer night at the so-and-so. | ||
| You want to hang? | ||
| I'm like, well, hang here for a few minutes, catch up, and whatever. | ||
| They go, the place kind of closes in like an hour, and you're like, alright, bye, fuckfaces, I guess. | ||
| So what did you want them to spend more time? | ||
| I didn't even dote over me, but I haven't seen these people in a while, and I was genuinely curious about what's going on with them. | ||
| But you didn't want to go to their spot. | ||
| But I just also, they were very dismissive of the whole thing. | ||
| They're like, thanks dude, pretty good job. | ||
| It just seemed very like, if they would have been like, wow dude, this is a pretty extraordinary thing you're doing. | ||
| I'm not saying they had to say those words, but if they showed that at all, it makes them have to face the fact that he said he was going to be a pilot, but he's working at a fucking gas station. | ||
| Do you attribute it to jealousy, or do you just disinterest, or what do you attribute it to? | ||
| It might be a little bit of both. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I know when I first started doing it, again, like you said, the way you did Taekwondo, it's a heavy commitment, especially because I started going after the first year of just doing it in Philly. | ||
| Keith Robinson grabbed me, Kurt Metzger, and Kevin Hart and started taking us up to New York. | ||
| And when I did that, I started not being able to do all the bullshit with my friends that we were doing. | ||
| I wasn't part of like Dollar Beer Night anymore, you know what I mean? | ||
| Or any of that shit. | ||
| So they feel like you kind of left them. | ||
| And, but when I would come back and be like, hey guys, I'm doing this cool thing, like come check this out. | ||
| They were just very like, eh, I don't care. | ||
| You know, and it's like, oh no, I'm going to go do this neat show in Atlantic City or whatever. | ||
| Well, isn't that the case always in life when you're growing up? | ||
| There's certain people that you grow up with because they went to school with you and they were your friends and some folks evolve and develop and change and grow and some people stagnate and actually develop problems for themselves to distract themselves. | ||
| Like, Have you had circumstantial friendships in comedy? | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like that. | ||
| You hung with someone for a little while. | ||
| DeRosa did. | ||
| He lived with me for a while when he first moved to New York. | ||
| When he moved out, and we were tight. | ||
| We were together every day. | ||
| We drove in together to the city from Queens and hung out all the time. | ||
| And I still describe me and Joe as friends. | ||
| He's my buddy, for sure. | ||
| But I'm probably the 30th person he would call if he had good news in his life. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I'd probably hear it third-hand first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And we have no beef at all. | ||
| And when I see him, we love to catch up and bullshit and have a good time. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| So what's the issue? | ||
| You need more from him? | ||
| I'm just saying I need more from him. | ||
| I need him to call me too. | ||
| I think he's angry at my racisms also. | ||
| Oh, that Anthony Cumia thing the other day was just so ridiculous. | ||
| He did our show, and on the show he went on this long thing that was very jilted lover-ish in a lot of ways about Kumia not calling. | ||
| I'm like, why don't you just call him? | ||
| And also recognize that the guy's busy. | ||
| No, he defended all these other people, but he didn't defend me. | ||
| I'm like, oh, come on, man. | ||
| Because he didn't talk about you online. | ||
| You're upset at him. | ||
| And then there was this accusations of racism that they also didn't discuss. | ||
| It was so... | ||
| All of it could have been handled better. | ||
| Did you watch him go on the Anthony show? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I listened to it. | ||
| I mean, look. | ||
| How'd that end? | ||
| He should have never just written him off. | ||
| If a guy's your friend and he's involved in some sort of a public crisis like Anthony was, you know, first of all, you have to recognize there's a tremendous amount of stress involved in any sort of physical altercation. | ||
| So don't expect people to behave rationally after someone punched him. | ||
| That's one. | ||
| And then two, don't expect people to behave rationally after gigantic groups of people start calling you a racist and saying what you're doing by writing all these things. | ||
| It's essentially a hate crime. | ||
| You get fired from your job. | ||
| People rally for you to get fired from your job. | ||
| Other people rally for you to get rehired. | ||
| They want other people to boycott the show and cancel Sirius XM because of that There was a lot of stress going on the idea that he's ignoring Joe Tweets like fuck man. | ||
| Like what he what did what version of the thing did you see? | ||
| It's a selfish sure Yeah, and I love Joe. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| Oh, yeah, absolutely. | ||
| That's what makes Joe a really funny comic, is that he obsesses on things. | ||
| He thinks about things until he finds out what's really funny about them, and then he figures out a way to do it on stage, and figures out a way to cut it down to a really funny joke. | ||
| He's a great comic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| That same sort of curiosity, sensibility, obsession, all the combination of things mixed together in a stew, sometimes you can fuck with your personal life. | ||
| I think that's probably what happened there. | ||
| You know, that if it was a more rational circumstance for Anthony, more rational response by Joe, I think they could have had a conversation about it and worked it through. | ||
| And I think they did, kind of, on the show. | ||
| I just don't understand how Joe, in any way, shape, or form, had a feeling where it was like this effect to him in some way. | ||
| I don't know how people think, man. | ||
| I got tweets that were like, you know, cancel SiriusXM, stand by Ant. | ||
| And I just, you know, I just didn't. | ||
| And not that I don't, I did Anthony Cumia's podcast after that and talked to him. | ||
| I understand why he did what he did. | ||
| I think he shouldn't have done it the way he did it. | ||
| I think there's a better way to handle it. | ||
| I think he does too, though. | ||
| Of course he does, but I'm saying, but I just think, like, I don't know, but I agree that Sirius fired him. | ||
| I wish he didn't get fired. | ||
| I wouldn't have done it myself, but I'm not blown away. | ||
| When they said he's fired, I wasn't like, wait, what? | ||
| I completely understand that they fired him. | ||
| The shit that'll rain down on them, it wasn't worth it to them, so they fired him. | ||
| Yeah, I understand it too. | ||
| A business call. | ||
| It is kind of a business call, but it's also a business call to not do it. | ||
| You have to decide what helps your business. | ||
| Giving that guy an opportunity to express himself on the show would have generated a tremendous amount of ratings. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| And I think if he'd done it eloquently, which I'm sure he would have, there would have been a tremendous amount of support for keeping him on the show. | ||
| I think that his... | ||
| His argument and his assertion about the black community has always been there's a violence problem in the black community. | ||
| It's not that he's racist against all black people. | ||
| What his point has always been is that there's a lot of folks that are not willing to concede that there's a violence issue. | ||
| And he thinks there is an issue. | ||
| You know, where he and I, I don't know what his take on the social ramifications or the reasons for this racial issue or this violence issue in the black community. | ||
| You know, I think it's an economic thing. | ||
| What I've always pointed to is the gypsies. | ||
| Gypsies in England and Ireland who are constantly getting involved in crime and fighting and they're wild motherfuckers and they're white. | ||
| You know, it's those type of people, people that live in these economically challenging situations where there's a lot of bad people around them and a lot of crime and violence. | ||
| That's the atmosphere you live in. | ||
| That's the soup you fucking were born into and shit's hard to deal with for everybody. | ||
| And I think that what he did is also, it's a function of that form of media, like doing things in 140 characters. | ||
| You can't express yourself very good in 140 characters. | ||
| And if you take, even if you take something from something you said in this podcast and put it in 140 characters in quotes and put it on a tweet, it can make it look like a real piece of shit, you know? | ||
| Well, but what he did really was like... | ||
| He just tweeted out what he should have just said while he, you know, punched a piece of plywood. | ||
| Or, no, he should have said it on the radio. | ||
| No, no, absolutely. | ||
| But by then, he could have gotten a way to say it. | ||
| He said it eloquently. | ||
| I'm talking about in that moment of fury, you need to call a friend who's going to go, I know, dude, right? | ||
| I know you're so right. | ||
| And then 15 minutes later, when you calm down, you go, of course, I don't hate every black person. | ||
| It's like he vented... | ||
| And I said, and he's such a guy who's used to preaching to the choir, and he forgot that there's, like, regular people behind that choir that are going to be like, wait, what? | ||
| Waiting to hear, catch something like that. | ||
| It's way easier to take your tweet and retweet it than it is to say, hey, you've got to listen to Anthony on SiriusXM this morning. | ||
| When he was going off about how there's a violence problem in the black community and all the crazy shit that he screamed and yelled about. | ||
| That's one thing. | ||
| But to someone to just take those tweets and retweet them or take them and cut and paste them and put them in a blog completely outside of the context of who you are, what your style of communicating with has always been on the show. | ||
| The style of communicating on the show has always been him screaming. | ||
| He's always done that. | ||
| So when he does that in a Twitter form, it's par for the course. | ||
| I mean, that's what he does. | ||
| It's just when he does it on the radio... | ||
| The people that are going to be upset at that, they would have to listen to the whole thing to get to that. | ||
| They would have to listen to that chunk. | ||
| Someone would have to alert them to it. | ||
| They'd have to listen to it all play out. | ||
| All they have to do is just hear it, see it, retweet it. | ||
| See it, retweet it. | ||
| See it on a blog and then a bunch of fucking outrage attached to it and all these accusations. | ||
| But what do you do at that point? | ||
| I mean, in your opinion, do you... | ||
| Come out in high defense of yourself? | ||
| Or do you just go... | ||
| Sit back and go... | ||
| Look, my... | ||
| His resume kind of speaks for itself. | ||
| Like, you can just look at his body of work and know it's like he's clearly not a... | ||
| Outwardly racist. | ||
| A lot of close people to his world are black. | ||
| A lot of people will disagree with you there. | ||
| A lot of people will disagree with you. | ||
| That's a fact. | ||
| A lot of people will take a lot of the things that he said on the radio show, cut him out of context, put it up and say that these are more pieces of evidence that he's racist. | ||
| I don't think he's racist. | ||
| I think he's frustrated. | ||
| I think that he, like a lot of people that have been involved in these type of scenarios... | ||
| You only see the person's attacking you, and you only see the group that they're attached to. | ||
| And if I lived in New York and I had to deal with a lot of bullshit on a regular basis, I don't know how much bullshit he deals with, but whether it was bullshit coming from Irish people, or it's bullshit coming from, you know, Asian people that are fucking with me all the time. | ||
| I mean, if you're living in a group where there's a certain number of people from X community that are causing a lot of crimes, You're always going to have some frustration. | ||
| You're always going to be upset about that. | ||
| I don't know where his head's at. | ||
| I've never had long, uncensored conversations with him about this. | ||
| I've talked to him on the radio, and I love talking to him. | ||
| So if I had a guess, I would say no, I don't think he's racist. | ||
| I think he's just not scared of speaking his mind about very controversial issues that very easily Come across as racism when he's describing things like very real statistics, like crime statistics. | ||
| They're undeniable. | ||
| I mean, if you look at crime statistics and the amount of young African-American men that are in jail, it's fucking bananas. | ||
| It's bananas representative of the population as a whole, like this small amount of people that are black and then the large amount of black guys that are in jail. | ||
| You would go, okay, well, is that evidence of racism? | ||
| That that's why they're being prosecuted or is it evidence that they're committing far more crimes? | ||
| Is it a combination of both? | ||
| Is it a lack of social awareness that has allowed these inner cities to get completely out of hand, these impoverished neighborhoods? | ||
| Yeah, I think that. | ||
| But all the fury is just going to be that he was like, you know, some black bitch basically, you know, to be so dismissive. | ||
| No one's caring about the statistics he's throwing out. | ||
| They're only focusing... | ||
| But my point is, you can get those facts out If it had been a bunch of Irish people and he was like, you know, this Mick Ginger fuck just punched me, you know, cunt just punched me in the face. | ||
| Because he's white, he could do it, but if he was black. | ||
| But then his tweets would resonate more. | ||
| It wouldn't make any kind of news, but at least it would resonate more if he had some kind of facts and figures to support, you know, whatever. | ||
| Mick Ginger fucks attacking people. | ||
| The Mick Ginger fucks violence problem. | ||
| Joe, don't you find it interesting, though, that after all this recent shit about him being racist, that he doesn't just kind of back off and just for like a year talk about cupcakes or something like that? | ||
| No, why would he? | ||
| He's actually pushing it almost to the point of like, he's really proving freedom of speech and everything. | ||
| Like he's almost trying to make a point about, you know. | ||
| What are the examples you're talking about? | ||
| Well, like, you know, after all this thing of him being racist on Twitter, then he started going off on Ferguson, you know, all the Ferguson stuff. | ||
| But what did he, you see, when you talk about things like that, like, do you know specifically what he said about Ferguson? | ||
| I can pull it up, I don't have that memory. | ||
| What we know is about what Joe DeRosa talked about the other day, but he didn't cite any specifics either. | ||
| So I don't know what Anthony said about Ferguson. | ||
| If I knew, then I can comment on it specifically. | ||
| Well, I mean, I follow him on Twitter, and he's still doing silly things. | ||
| What do you think about Ferguson? | ||
| Yeah, you've got to give examples to make sense. | ||
| I'll just start pulling stuff up, but I didn't really want to go that deep into that point. | ||
| What I'm saying is, you can go on his Twitter and see what I'm talking about. | ||
| He doesn't back off. | ||
| Well, he doesn't have to. | ||
| Yeah, he doesn't back off for a reason, it seems like. | ||
| I think most people, if you got that much, like, you lost your job, you got in trouble on Twitter about a certain subject, then I'm like, alright, I'm not going to talk about Pi for a while. | ||
| Definitely. | ||
| No, because he's got his new show. | ||
| Yeah, and he immediately... | ||
| Made like a chunk of money. | ||
| You know, it's like a Netflix subscription type thing. | ||
| So he immediately made like a gang of money off that, I assume. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know how well he's doing, but I hope he does well. | ||
| I thought that it would be probably smarter if he did it through subscription. | ||
| Through advertisers. | ||
| Because if you do it through advertisers, that way he's going to get a large number of people that are going to listen to it because if it's free, but he's kind of hamstringing himself by making a subscription service. | ||
| I think it's tough. | ||
| To make it cost money, you're definitely cutting people out of it, but I think there'll be an initial thing, but you have to get people to latch on board. | ||
| It's really hard to get people to pay for shit on the internet in this day and age. | ||
| There's so much awesome stuff that's free. | ||
| Howard Stern gives you, like, you know, I mean, you basically are paying for Sirius for, like, that or ONA, and you can't argue that, like, Stern Channel gives you, like, tons of energy. | ||
| You know, for what you're paying, like, he gives you a lot of different stuff. | ||
| It's, like, him all day and other shows and... | ||
| And his old content and just like fun productions and stuff. | ||
| Yeah, but that's not online. | ||
| That's on Sirius. | ||
| It's like if you subscribe to Sirius. | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| You can get that online too. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm saying it's for making people pay for something. | ||
| But he did 20 some years of giving it for free. | ||
| So now you can get people to pay for it. | ||
| I'm confused. | ||
| But we're talking about two different things. | ||
| We're talking about satellite radio or we're talking about internet subscription. | ||
| Does he have an internet subscription thing? | ||
| Well, is that the same thing? | ||
| I mean, it is. | ||
| You could watch it online. | ||
| Stern's thing. | ||
| Well, sort of, but it's satellite radio. | ||
| You're working for a company. | ||
| I mean, it's not like what Anthony's doing. | ||
| Anthony's doing a completely independent internet subscription thing. | ||
| I was confused. | ||
| I thought, like, Howard had something like that. | ||
| But Howard went from being for free to basically cost money to listen to him if you want to. | ||
| I'm saying Opie going from, like, you know, he did years of free and then years of... | ||
| You know, he wasn't a specific charge for SiriusXM. | ||
| Me and Anthony. | ||
| Yeah, he wasn't. | ||
| But now he's asking for... | ||
| A Netflix amount of money for one show. | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| He's not really giving you anything besides that two-hour show. | ||
| It's very different. | ||
| Because, first of all, Sirius is in so many cars when you buy it. | ||
| When you buy it, you get a 90-day subscription. | ||
| And it plays, and you get to listen to... | ||
| Stern, you get addicted to it, and listen to all the different music channels, you get addicted to it. | ||
| But you're paying for satellite radio. | ||
| You're not paying for a specific show on the internet. | ||
| There's a complete total difference in what you're getting. | ||
| To get something on the internet is what I'm saying. | ||
| It's very difficult to get people to pay for something that's on the internet. | ||
| It's not difficult to get people to subscribe to satellite radio, especially because satellite radio is in their car. | ||
| But zillions of people are like Netflix, and that's all internet-based. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| But Netflix gives you... | ||
| Thousands of options. | ||
| That's the point I'm making. | ||
| It's hard to get people to pay for, like, one two-hour show a day, four days a week. | ||
| Netflix is movies and television shows. | ||
| I mean, if you're paying for Netflix, you're paying for something that you can watch on television. | ||
| I mean, I guess you could watch Anthony's show on TV, but that's not how most people are probably watching it. | ||
| I bet the majority of the people that listen to a show are getting it... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They're getting it on... | ||
| Like as an audio thing that they listen to on the subway or something. | ||
| Or in their car. | ||
| That's what most people do with these things. | ||
| It's just hard... | ||
| It's hard to get people to pay for shit online. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, people are trying to do it like Drive Plus... | ||
| Drive is a YouTube channel that I really love. | ||
| It's all about various sports cars and the inner workings of them, and they do all these really cool in-depth pieces. | ||
| They just changed their format, and it became Drive Plus, and they made people subscribe to it. | ||
| And the very video they did it to, the first one, was one that I was a part of, this Shark Works company that makes these cars. | ||
| And the comments were just filled with pissed off people. | ||
| People were so fucking mad. | ||
| I mean, they were so mad that all of a sudden they were going to be forced to have to pay, I forget what the amount a month is. | ||
| I don't think it was a lot, like five bucks or something. | ||
| I don't remember though. | ||
| And the entire comments for the video was all about people being angry that they had to pay for it. | ||
| I wonder what Hulu's thing was with their fall off or whatever when they went from, hey, have it all for free to like, now we charge you. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I bet they lost a lot of people. | ||
| I mean, that's just what happens. | ||
| People don't want to pay for shit. | ||
| But Netflix is so good. | ||
| There's so much stuff. | ||
| And they have their own independent programming, like that House of Cards show. | ||
| Chelsea Handler's going to do a show on it. | ||
| They're actually becoming like a network. | ||
| So if you pay X amount a month for it, the amount of content that they have access to is fucking incredible. | ||
| I like that plan, too. | ||
| They just release the season as a whole right away. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That really does make for, like... | ||
| Well, there's also some weird shit that goes on with them with, like, cable internet providers and different internet providers. | ||
| Like, now they're going to have to pay more because they use up more. | ||
| Like, they have to cut deals. | ||
| Otherwise, they throttle back Netflix users. | ||
| There's a lot of, like, weird, shady shit when it comes to, like, bandwidth and how much bandwidth it's worth and how much bandwidth gets soaked up by different applications. | ||
| What shitty Ben Affleck, Justin Timberlake movie are you going to make about that? | ||
| Guys fighting for bandwidth. | ||
| Behind the scenes wars. | ||
| Bandwidth wars. | ||
| Yeah, it's tricky, man. | ||
| If you're trying to sell shit online, unless you're a Netflix, like if HBO became an online thing only, even with all their awesome shows that they have, that would be tough. | ||
| Although, that said, the hipsters have dominated that world, and a lot of them don't do cable at all and just get a subscription to HBO Go and Showtime.com and all that stuff, and they watch all their shit like that. | ||
| Well, there's a lot of people that do it through iTunes. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You do, like, Apple. | ||
| You know, you get an Apple TV thing. | ||
| Yeah, and I get a subscription to all those things. | ||
| You know, it could probably cost you somewhere like 50 bucks a month, and you pretty much have access to everything, like, the next day. | ||
| Pretty close. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of shit you can get. | ||
| I mean, I use iTunes for... | ||
| I use the Apple TV to watch that show, The Strain. | ||
| And I tried to watch it on regular TV. Oh my god. | ||
| The fucking commercials make you hemorrhage. | ||
| You can't believe how often the fucking commercials come on. | ||
| It's like a couple minutes in, bam, there's another commercial. | ||
| And then a couple minutes after that, bam, there's another commercial. | ||
| Like, oh my god. | ||
| Like, they just assault you with commercials. | ||
| I keep cable, DirecTV for a few reasons. | ||
| One, the football package is huge. | ||
| But two, there's also something that makes me feel like an adult having cable. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, you're supposed to have cable. | ||
| I don't know why... | ||
| But it really does. | ||
| I stopped now, but for a long time, well beyond needing one, I always had a house phone, like a landline. | ||
| So I was like, you're supposed to have a landline, just in case. | ||
| But it's just gone all, I bought into the cell phone now. | ||
| Well, it's also like, you don't ever want to have something that you can't just turn off. | ||
| The beautiful thing about a cell phone is you shut that bitch off and nobody can get in touch with you. | ||
| But, um, yeah, like, those, uh, a lot of people do that Netflix thing now where they don't have cable, they just have Netflix and they use, like, their computer for shit and then hook up one of those, uh... | ||
| I do it right now. | ||
| I just went. | ||
| And it's great because you can just target what you want instead of listening to background noise, pretty much. | ||
| Yeah, it's probably smart to keep you from watching as much stuff, too. | ||
| You're not just flipping through the channels. | ||
| Sometimes there's a search process. | ||
| They're like, what do I want to see here? | ||
| Sometimes it'll take a half an hour just looking for a good movie to watch. | ||
| It's just a wasted half hour here. | ||
| But having cable, I'll never seek out the movie Breaking ever again. | ||
| But I'll watch the last 45 minutes of it three times a week if it pops on. | ||
| Yeah, if I'm flipping through the channels and Roadhouse comes on, it's like 2 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| You're not going to stop watching Roadhouse. | ||
| I'm going to watch that shit. | ||
| It's like a gift of the universe. | ||
| If you're alone in a hotel room flipping through the channels and Roadhouse comes on and you're on the road, you'll start laughing. | ||
| You gotta watch it. | ||
| You owe it to the Jeff Healy band to do it. | ||
| I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice. | ||
| How I know when that is, I will tell you. | ||
| My mom used to come home from work in the middle of the night and feed my little brother and we didn't have cable and we had a VCR and we had Roadhouse and she would watch Roadhouse every night. | ||
| My mother knows every line to Roadhouse. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was a VHS? Miho. | ||
| Yeah, VHS. Oh my god. | ||
| I had that and Hard to Kill on the same tape, and we watched it constantly. | ||
| You know what's amazing? | ||
| If you go back in time to when those video stores were out, like the local video stores, like every community had a local video store, like a mom and pop video store. | ||
| And then the Blockbuster came in, and fucking, oh my god, Blockbuster's gonna shut down all these mom and pop video stores. | ||
| In a lot of ways they did, except Blockbuster didn't have porn. | ||
| That's what kept them alive. | ||
| So if you wanted to get the porn, you'd have to go to the mom-and-pop video stores. | ||
| If you came back to that day when those things were all, like, everywhere, and you said, within a couple decades, these won't even exist anymore. | ||
| They're gonna be gone. | ||
| You're gonna get everything out of the air. | ||
| People will be like, what? | ||
| Yeah, you're just gonna press a button on a machine, and you're gonna get it out of the air. | ||
| Specifically for porn, what you had to go through, too. | ||
| Like, our franchise in Philly, we had a place called West Coast Video. | ||
| You know that at all? | ||
| And there was just these red boxes. | ||
| Everything was like in a red box. | ||
| There was no, like, the covers were up on the wall, but you got a red box. | ||
| And the beauty of that was I would try to just, like, find, like, my mom and step-pop would rent porno movies when I was younger, I guess, for themselves. | ||
| And I would... | ||
| They'd leave it in the VCR. We only had one VCR, so I guess they'd watch it when I'd stay at my grandmom's, and I'd come and I'd see the title of it. | ||
| And they'd always find titles that weren't very porn-sounding. | ||
| And then I would go, I'd stay at my grandmom's the next night, and I would tell her, like, hey, if I reserve movies, go pick them up, and I would reserve... | ||
| I'd send my little grandma in to go pick up porn movies for me. | ||
| She'd be like, you want me to make popcorn and we'll watch it together? | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to probably watch it later. | ||
| Did she ever call you on it? | ||
| No, but one time I never returned one and they ended up calling. | ||
| You tried to keep it. | ||
| I just tried to keep it. | ||
| It was terrible. | ||
| It wasn't even a porn. | ||
| It was one I rented. | ||
| It was like a Skinamax-y type thing. | ||
| I had a friend that if the videos were really good, he would not bring them back. | ||
| He was like, I'll take the penalty. | ||
| I need to keep this one. | ||
| Porns? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Oh, I had a guy take me to court for that, for not returning. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And then eventually, the only reason I got off the hook eventually is that it was a mom and pop place and it went under. | ||
| It was called Wow Video. | ||
| There was a mom-and-pop place when I used to hang out at this pool hall in White Plains, New York, and there was a mom-and-pop place across the street that they found out had Tracy Lord videos that were illegal. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And the guys at the pool hall found out about it, and so they took them all, and they paid the penalty on all of them. | ||
| They're like, these are valuable because she's underage. | ||
| And I'm like, bro, that shit's illegal. | ||
| What the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Why are you watching that? | ||
| She means she looked like she was of age. | ||
| She had large breasts and she was enjoying it sexually. | ||
| She had those big banana tits too. | ||
| Yeah, they were weird tits. | ||
| Beautiful girl. | ||
| But anyway, she was fucking like 17 years old or 16 years old at the time when she was making these. | ||
| Big muff. | ||
| These guys found out about it. | ||
| Yeah, well the whole deal. | ||
| She was a woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, she looked like a woman. | ||
| She's obviously a little girl, but if you looked at her like, what is that? | ||
| You would say, well, that's a naked woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know? | ||
| No, no, she's 16, you piece of shit. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How would I know? | ||
| You showed me her naked. | ||
| Do you watch the documentaries? | ||
| Like, her boyfriends were, like, in their mid-20s, early 30s and shit. | ||
| Like, none of them had any idea. | ||
| You mean the guys on the show or actual boyfriends? | ||
| Her boyfriend. | ||
| The show. | ||
| I'm calling the porn video the show. | ||
| The guy in the show? | ||
| She dated porn stars for a while. | ||
| Oh, she dated them. | ||
| Remember that guy Tom Byron? | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| Remember when there was only like four dude porn stars? | ||
| Yeah, there was like Peter North, Tom Byron. | ||
| He's always the first one because he shot the biggest loads. | ||
| Isn't it weirdly gay if that's the reason? | ||
| It's gayer that he did gay porn. | ||
| Did he before that? | ||
| Yeah, he did gay porn. | ||
| Oh, wasting those big loads on dude butts? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! | |
| I don't know about wasting them. | ||
| He seemed to be enjoying it. | ||
| And this is pre-Viagra. | ||
| So he was really getting hard for gay guys. | ||
| He stayed in there like... | ||
| He stayed in the game a really long time simply because of those loads. | ||
| They were ridiculous. | ||
| The fact that I know what you're talking about... | ||
| Like, if you brought it up about any other performer, you'd be like, I'm calling him a performer. | ||
| What do you call them? | ||
| What do you call a guy who fucks chicks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
This artist? | |
| Adult artist? | ||
| Peter North? | ||
| This powerhouse. | ||
| Well, that's what everybody knew. | ||
| Those are the things you knew. | ||
| Ron Jeremy can count down from ten and come, and Peter North shoots fucking face-covering loads. | ||
| What do you mean everybody knows that? | ||
| I didn't fucking know that. | ||
| You guys didn't know that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do you know that? | |
| All his porns is what he would do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| He'd start counting down from ten, or he has the girl count down, and then when she says one, he pulls out and blows a load on her. | ||
| No kidding. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I had no idea. | ||
| I had no idea about that either. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing to know, Simon. | ||
| Why don't you guys take a little time to get to know the hedgehog? | ||
| How many have you watched? | ||
| How many porns have you watched? | ||
| Oh, tons. | ||
| I had a nice stack collection. | ||
| Yeah, and all the tapes were red. | ||
| They were always like shitty colors, too. | ||
| Red videotapes. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| The cheapest fucking stuff. | ||
| I had a friend who had two VCRs, this black dude named Frank. | ||
| He would just make a compilation of his favorite... | ||
| They were great to borrow. | ||
| No, because whatever it was, it was like, fat-ass white bitches. | ||
| And then it would just be like, oh... | ||
| So he was like the first compilation guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Because they have compilations now that you can get online. | ||
| Way before the internet. | ||
| But I think if I was a... | ||
| I'd have a severe problem if I grew up with the internet. | ||
| It was good that I had to really work to get my porn. | ||
| You'd have a severe problem if you had instant access. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I think a lot of people do. | ||
| I think a lot of people do have a problem. | ||
| And I think it's... | ||
| As someone who has a daughter, I fucking hate that... | ||
| You know, facial cum shots is part of the common day. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, that's what you do right out of the gate sexually now. | ||
| Anal sex, too. | ||
| Right out of the gate sexually. | ||
| No one... | ||
| A girl's like... | ||
| And I said, I'm not going back to that. | ||
| Well, I'm 36 years old, but I do remember in school, like, the girls who fucked, it was kind of quiet. | ||
| And the ones who everybody knew fucked, they were kind of shitty to them. | ||
| They kind of got like, you know, like, oh, she's a slut. | ||
| Which was just all the guys wishing they were fucking, you know, wishing they were fucking her. | ||
| But still, like, vilify. | ||
| You know, I think the internet's just, like, made that completely, like, 16-year-old girls talking about who sucks dick better. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Is that really what's going on? | ||
| Are you there when this is happening? | ||
| Or are you just hearing rumors? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's happening. | |
| No, it's happening. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| I have siblings who are very younger than me, because I have a stepfather, so I have a sister who's still in high school. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| So, I mean, like, she's, you know, hopefully to the best of my knowledge not doing this stuff, but they were doing a thing a few years ago where the kids would wear the colors, you snap off the color, that means, like, you know, finger your asshole in the locker room, and then you go do it. | ||
| And the girls would always be like, ugh, so unfair. | ||
| And they would just go do it? | ||
| Just go do it, yeah. | ||
| Because it was the rule, the bracelet rule that they were doing. | ||
| If that was going on, I would never be a comic, that's for sure. | ||
| I would have gotten nothing done. | ||
| Do you really believe that, though? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nah, you would eventually become a comic. | ||
| You would just get bored of it eventually. | ||
| Maybe, but I mean, even now, at one point I lived with a guy who worked for the cable company, so he got unblocked. | ||
| Just a shitty Playboy channel. | ||
| Like, how benign the Playboy channel is. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And if I was playing Madden on the loading screens on PlayStation 2, I would constantly flip back, like... | ||
| Back and forth to the Playboy channel? | ||
| Just to see whatever it was, because there'd be a girl with her pussy out, and that would just, for some reason, I'd be like, I'm gonna watch that for a minute, and then go back to the loading screen. | ||
| Remember when they had fake porn? | ||
| The, like, Emmanuel series on, like, Showtime? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You'd watch these weird movies, it was like... | ||
| Kind of, it wasn't, it was romance that wasn't designed for women. | ||
| It was like romance that was designed for like couples or men to watch. | ||
| So it eventually got to people having sex, but all you really saw was like, you saw breasts and you saw the man like... | ||
| Fake-humping the girl, but you saw no penetration. | ||
| But you could tell their organs were misplaced. | ||
| Their sexual organs were not lined up correctly. | ||
| She's blowing them, but she's head-butting them in the chest. | ||
| Yeah, and if he was banging her, like, where's her pussy? | ||
| Sitting there, belly button. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Some strange place. | ||
| None of it made any sense. | ||
| But they were like, fake moan. | ||
| And they were always on late at night. | ||
| They still have that crap, man. | ||
| Do they? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I couldn't jerk off that now if I tried for a long... | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| I'm too far gone. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| Yeah, you can't go back. | ||
| You could if you were, like, trapped, though. | ||
| Like, if you were, like, in the Amazon jungle for, like, six months, and then all of a sudden you got to a hotel room, like, oh my god, TV, and you flip through the channels, and Carry On, Emmanuel was on, and it was, like, a little shitty filter, because the cameras they used back then were dog shit, so it was, like, there was no HD. It was, like, really low resolution and kind of fuzzy, and Oh, I used to be able to jerk off to, like, the Girls Gone Wild, like, promo video on, like, E! Channel at night. | ||
| But, I mean, it's just, like, it's just such a thing of the past. | ||
| I couldn't even... | ||
| Everyone was like... | ||
| How could you do that? | ||
| Why you couldn't get so excited to the fappening thing, all the celebrity nudes that came out, is because... | ||
| Still Images. | ||
| I can't jerk off to Still Images anymore. | ||
| Yeah, and the only thing that's hot about it... | ||
| Well, they're hot, but it's just that they're famous. | ||
| And you know them from something else. | ||
| Yeah, that's a weird thing about porn stars. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| People used to have this idea, at least, that the really beautiful women weren't porn stars. | ||
| The really beautiful women were like Cindy Crawford or, you know... | ||
| Whoever. | ||
| Fill in the blank. | ||
| Farrah Fawcett. | ||
| Those are the really beautiful ones. | ||
| And the porn stars are really a couple notches behind. | ||
| But there's porn stars today that are fucking tens. | ||
| They're unbelievably beautiful. | ||
| Like, you look at them, you're like, that girl could be Lindsay Lohan. | ||
| She could be a supermodel. | ||
| She could be anything. | ||
| And she's just getting plowed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Slanging that good dick. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| But they've also, like, removed, like, the, uh... | ||
| Excitement of that because it's so out there. | ||
| There's still something more exciting. | ||
| If you saw a girl that was hot at the gas station and somehow you were able to see her 10 minutes later do something where you opened the door by accident and she was naked, that's way more exciting. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| I guess. | ||
| Because you're seeing them, it's from a different context. | ||
| Like a porn star you know you're going to see. | ||
| If that same porn star happened to be the star of a sitcom and you saw her naked, that would make that so much more exciting. | ||
| But the fact that you know her from sucking dick, like seeing her pussy isn't that exciting. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah, unless you weren't being inundated with porn. | ||
| See, if you're being inundated with porn, I think that's the real issue, is you get numb to the porn. | ||
| And then what the real excitement is, like, oh, I'm not supposed to be seeing this porn, so it makes it exciting. | ||
| My favorite kind is the home video shit. | ||
| If you weren't getting inundated with porn, and then you saw some porn, some naked sex, you'd be like, whoa, this is great. | ||
| You'd get excited. | ||
| I think it's just a numbness thing. | ||
| That's what it is, yeah. | ||
| I think I also used to be able to jerk off in fucking three minutes. | ||
| Now it's a whole process because you're like, I can find a better video. | ||
| It's like a challenge to yourself. | ||
| And then the head shake you make it yourself when you're just jerking off to that third one you found like 40 minutes later, you're like, come on, man. | ||
| I could have made phone calls. | ||
| I got emails to send. | ||
| Could have got a lot of shit done. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And here I am, right back at the same stupid bachelorette party gangbang. | ||
| Well, it's like those monkey tests they do with cocaine and heroin. | ||
| They give the monkeys heroin, they take the heroin once a day, and they're straight. | ||
| They give the monkeys coke, and they just keep hitting that coke button until their fucking hearts explode. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, there's something about giving guys access. | ||
| Just constant 24-hour porn. | ||
| I mean, that's where all that gagging shit and gaping and fucking all the abuse porn. | ||
| It's got to become violent. | ||
| Well, it comes out of, like, what's next? | ||
| We've done all this. | ||
| What's next? | ||
| We're going to fucking pee in girls' butts. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Okay, how about we pee in girls' butts and we attach a straw to that pee and we make them drink it out of their own butt? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| That guy's in jail, I think. | ||
| Yeah, he is in jail. | ||
| He's out now. | ||
| Is he? | ||
| Did you ever see that documentary? | ||
| Max Hardcore. | ||
| Max Hardcore. | ||
| Did you ever see that documentary called Hardcore, where the girl comes over from England? | ||
| No. | ||
| It'll make you furious at that guy. | ||
| Did you ever see that before? | ||
| I think I saw clips of it on eFuck. | ||
| It's a girl who comes from England, a porn producer who's like, you're a beautiful baby, you're going to just... | ||
| Basically, it starts out where you're just going to do pictures and lesbian porn, and then before you know it, they get to sets, and it's like, well, I thought you said we were just going to watch today. | ||
| It's like, no, baby, come on. | ||
| I told him you're doing this anal porn today. | ||
| She's like, well, I said no anal. | ||
| And he's like, well, it's more money if you do it. | ||
| And it's really watching him then break a girl down. | ||
| So at one point... | ||
| Max Hardcore, I believe it is, is getting ready to do something terrible to her. | ||
| After crying, she said she didn't want to do it. | ||
| The first thing he does is he walks into a room when she's going to meet Max Hardcore for the first time. | ||
| A bunch of people in this room and the documentary crew. | ||
| He walks in, he shakes everyone's hand and goes over to her. | ||
| It seems very real. | ||
| Pulls her panties down and stuffs his dick in her asshole. | ||
| She makes a face like it's pretty real. | ||
| And she gets weeded out, and then he goes, let's go upstairs, and he starts talking into a scene. | ||
| She says she doesn't want to do it. | ||
| He gets really... | ||
| First thing he tries to do is, like, hit her with the baby. | ||
| You're beautiful. | ||
| Like, you're going to make a lot of money. | ||
| This is a great thing. | ||
| People want to see your beautiful body. | ||
| He does that for about five minutes. | ||
| And then he kicks right into... | ||
| You stupid bitch. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| Go back to England and tell your kid you can't take care of her and you fucking... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| You're gonna waste my fucking time. | ||
| And then she agrees to do it and the documentary guys step in and they turn the camera off and it just says, like, at this point, we thought she wasn't responsible for herself anymore and they pulled her out of it. | ||
| Okay, is this 100% confirmed? | ||
| Are you sure that this wasn't in any way set up? | ||
| That that's why, you know, like, there's a lot of these porn scenarios where they do, like, casting couches. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| They really are casting couches. | ||
| No, I know that. | ||
| But there's other ones that they do where it's totally rigged. | ||
| Yeah, I think most of them are always rigged. | ||
| This is a full-length, like, two-hour documentary. | ||
| It's about this girl. | ||
| That was just one scene. | ||
| Right, but they showed him fucking her in the ass? | ||
| She's not opposed to that. | ||
| Okay, but... | ||
| She goes... | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes, they say... | ||
| Well, they don't show his dick going in because it's just not the way... | ||
| It's a documentary guy, so it's like if it happened in the corner over there. | ||
| Uh-huh. | ||
| So they're not showing the actual sex. | ||
| Yes, they show. | ||
| They just don't show the penetration. | ||
| But you see him put his dick around and her make a face and get weird about it. | ||
| I don't know if that's... | ||
| I don't know if that's a setup. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, do you know that that's not a setup? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Obviously, I can't confirm it to 100%, but she goes through a weird thing in this documentary. | ||
| This sounds like a real documentary. | ||
| I mean, if it was a porn documentary, they would show real porn. | ||
| Yeah, no, there's no penetration. | ||
| That doesn't necessarily mean it's true. | ||
| That's not necessarily true. | ||
| I mean, I don't know. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| Like, it sounds like it could be real, but it also could be something that they set up. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Oh, well, anything could be, you know? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's that same world, you know what I'm saying? | ||
| That world of the fake auditions that turn into sex. | ||
| But this isn't a jerk-off-able thing. | ||
| In any way. | ||
| It's just gross. | ||
| This whole thing is terribly like, what the fuck is this guy doing to this girl? | ||
| I was like, is he really doing that? | ||
| It's not a... | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not... | |
| There's no fancy set around. | ||
| You see the documentary guys, even the guys talking to each other. | ||
| Is this like, should we do something? | ||
| So he's just an evil guy that's out of control, abusing the shit out of chicks and putting it on video. | ||
| I've heard him on Howard Stern, man. | ||
| He seems like a pretty horrible dude, but I'm speaking a little out of school. | ||
| What did you hear? | ||
| He seemed like a horrible dude. | ||
| Yeah, this is a real documentary. | ||
| Hold on a second. | ||
| Would you hear that he seemed like he was a horrible dude? | ||
| It was on Howard Stern, just the way he talked. | ||
| They had girls come in that want to be porn stars, and he's just like... | ||
| He's just a mean. | ||
| He's like, well, you're a little fat, but I can work with that. | ||
| You're the right pig on your face. | ||
| He's just kind of like a gruff... | ||
| Like shitty guys. | ||
| Maybe it's a character, for all I know. | ||
| Yeah, I know, but I heard... | ||
| But why be the villain? | ||
| I mean, the guy did go to jail, but again, I don't even know what that was for. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you exactly what it was for. | ||
| He went to jail for obscenity. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Obscenity laws. | ||
| It's a very scary thing. | ||
| Look, I don't think that what he... | ||
| See, it's a tricky situation because I think anybody with any ethics or morals that looks at that guy and the kind of videos he did, you don't want to be attached to that. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| I mean, even if it is fake, it's still like, man, why does this get you off? | ||
| You're being fucking horrible to these people. | ||
| If that's really what gets you off, what kind of a human being are you? | ||
| And what kind of a product are you selling? | ||
| But the way they got him is, there are certain places that have really strict obscenity laws. | ||
| And so they prosecuted him in Florida, in this one area that had these really brutally strict obscenity laws. | ||
| So they went after this guy. | ||
| They targeted him. | ||
| I think they saw the videos and they decided this is a piece of shit. | ||
| We need to put this guy in jail. | ||
| In their eyes, the prosecutor's eyes, I think, if I had a guess, that they found a guy who had made this sort of evil business off of a loophole. | ||
| And that loophole was the freedom of expression. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| That he's allowed to have his own artistic interpretation of what's porn and what's not porn. | ||
| But to anybody like you that's a normal guy who watches it, you're like, this guy's a piece of shit. | ||
| Like, he's making movies for fucking evil people. | ||
| Yeah, to want to get off to that is a very bizarre thing to me. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It's definitely very bizarre. | ||
| But it's also like, at what point in time is it censorship? | ||
| At what point in time is like, who's to say that you can't... | ||
| I mean, if you made a movie, okay? | ||
| This is a totally unrelated thing. | ||
| But if you made a movie about a guy who was a horrible serial killer, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And he's very sadistic and it's part of the entertainment. | ||
| This guy's very sadistic. | ||
| And then as long as someone catches that guy and kills him, most of us are like, wow, that was a fucked up movie. | ||
| But they got him in the end. | ||
| The problem with this is nobody gets it in the end. | ||
| Except the girl. | ||
| Girl gets it in the end. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like the girl gets abused and it's about abuse and that's it. | ||
| There's no narrative. | ||
| There's no like story arc where someone comes along and they fucking find this guy and they lock him up in jail at the end and everybody feels safe. | ||
| No, it's just awful. | ||
| From the beginning to the end, it's awful, and then it ends. | ||
| There's no plot. | ||
| It's just him violating somebody. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But it rolls on without him, though. | ||
| I mean, there's like a thousand Max Hardcores. | ||
| I'm sure, right? | ||
| Those guys, they'll put on E-Fucked... | ||
| I've seen them do those... | ||
| the compilations of like just not even the sex part just the guys being mean to the chick it's like they bring in like awful like unattractive women and they shit on them and then fuck them it's very weird yeah they smack them there's a lot of physical abuse there's like physical abuse that would be illegal and you would actually go to jail for like you can't smack a chick in the face but like yeah you can't you can't really sign a waiver to say that's okay I guess like you sort of can I mean like wrestling right But isn't it different if it's a guy smacking a woman? | ||
| I mean, let's be honest. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| Morally? | ||
| If a guy smacking a guy in a wrestling... | ||
| If they're doing a pro wrestling match and a guy smacks a guy, these guys are agreeing to this. | ||
| They're both guys. | ||
| If two girls are doing it, they're both girls. | ||
| But if a guy does it to a girl... | ||
| But I mean, there has to have been pro wrestling storylines where the guy accidentally swings and smacks the girl. | ||
| That's part of the storyline. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or movies. | |
| I mean, I just watched a thing the other day. | ||
| Triple H puts Stephanie McMahon in the pedigree. | ||
| Well, in movies, for sure. | ||
| There's been domestic violence in movies, without a doubt. | ||
| But they're not really hitting. | ||
| That's the actual contact. | ||
| No, but in pro wrestling, there is contact. | ||
| Yes, that's the difference. | ||
| In pro wrestling, they're actually hitting. | ||
| There's absolutely TV shows and movies that they hit each other in. | ||
| No, you see a woman hit a man, you never see a man actually hit a woman in a movie, not a recent movie. | ||
| Well, I bet you there is, in the last year, some show that has a man hit a woman and it's a real hit. | ||
| No, they can make it. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Jersey Shore had that happen, but that wasn't set up. | ||
| You can make it look like it's a real hit. | ||
| Jersey Shore. | ||
| You can make it look like it, but I've never seen a woman cough a man, or a man cough a woman in the face where I thought it was real. | ||
| That Jersey Shore, Snooki got punched in the face by a dude. | ||
| Yeah, that was real. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| That was 100%. | ||
| Yeah, I got jawed her. | ||
| She got blasted. | ||
| So that's the type of thing you can't fake. | ||
| I mean, she just got popped. | ||
| That guy was a fucking savage. | ||
| That guy was a school teacher. | ||
| I know. | ||
| And an MMA fighter. | ||
| Was he really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, he just uncorked on her face. | ||
| I guess MMA's been around long enough now. | ||
| Finally, there's some guys coming out and disgracing the sport a little bit. | ||
| There's always going to be crazy people in everything. | ||
| Soccer players, fucking whatever. | ||
| Competition. | ||
| Aggressive types. | ||
| Polo athletes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| There's people that are nuts. | ||
| You're going to run into people. | ||
| I mean, the most unlikely scenario, if it's a competition, you know, you're going to run into... | ||
| Not even if it's not a competition. | ||
| There's probably asshole dentists that'll punch you in the face if they're doing shots. | ||
| And then sometimes it works out. | ||
| Those MMA guys, it works out great. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Was that a World Star Hip Hop video with the... | ||
| Was it down in D.C.? Kind of an unassuming white dude. | ||
| Oh, Ryan Hall. | ||
| Dropped a big black guy, right? | ||
| And the guy gave up eventually. | ||
| And then it shows like partying with the black dudes later. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, he mounted him. | ||
| He didn't even kick his ass. | ||
| Just held him down and just out-grappled him. | ||
| Just let him know. | ||
| Yeah, let him know that it's going to get worse. | ||
| That's so awesome. | ||
| Yeah, well, especially if you haven't grappled. | ||
| Before you get tired so quick, you're like, okay, okay, get off me. | ||
| Like, you don't have enough energy left to attack him. | ||
| Like, there's nothing left. | ||
| I love bullies getting knocked out video. | ||
| I do love those. | ||
| Those make me happy. | ||
| It's nice when you see that. | ||
| As comics, I think where you said the thing about punching up earlier, it really is like we do seek justice to some degree. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| I just have a problem with the statement that all good comedy is punching up. | ||
| That's just not true. | ||
| There's a lot of good comedy that's punching sideways. | ||
| There's a lot of good comedy that's punching down. | ||
| But there's no... | ||
| But Louis C.K. shitting on his daughter. | ||
| There's no, like, lack of justice there. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| In that regard? | ||
| Because you said you kind of know. | ||
| Not only is it implied, it's very obvious he's kidding. | ||
| He loves his kid. | ||
| Nobody makes an outward... | ||
| And it's funny. | ||
| No one does make an outward thing about that. | ||
| The fights people choose to pick... | ||
| When I did a... | ||
| Interestingly enough, with the daughter thing... | ||
| When I did Fallon... | ||
| I talked shit about my daughter for the first two minutes of it. | ||
| And then I did Michael Vick jokes... | ||
| And thousands of hate mails the next day poured in over these Michael Vick jokes. | ||
| I say that he was on my team, so I have to love him because he was on my team at the time. | ||
| He was on the Eagles still. | ||
| I know he's a terrible dude and did some terrible things, but while he's on my team, just win. | ||
| I'll throw him a dog, let him tear it apart like a werewolf in the end zone if he scores. | ||
| And I said I'd mail him a box of puppies with a photograph of me shushing if he wins the Super Bowl. | ||
| And it killed in the room. | ||
| But then all the hate mail came in for that. | ||
| And it was such a weird thing. | ||
| Not one person was like, how do you shit talk your daughter like that? | ||
| You're telling a joke about shitting on her Father's Day present or something she got for you. | ||
| It's like, no one cares. | ||
| But there was petitions online for a public apology from me. | ||
| For imaginary dogs. | ||
| Dogs that don't exist. | ||
| Well, once things happen, people get excited and they want action. | ||
| They want you to apologize. | ||
| And if they can force you into action, they've won some sort of an online contest. | ||
| You know, they've decided, they've written a blog about it, they've started a hashtag, make Jay Oakerson, hashtag make Jay apologize. | ||
| Yeah, it's so bizarre to get that wound up about. | ||
| Comedy ever. | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
| How about everything, man? | ||
| I mean, every fucking YouTube video that comes out has a thousand comments. | ||
| People are duking it out in the comment section, and people get fired up about almost everything and anything. | ||
| And if they have the license to be offended, if people have the license to be offended, like, they can think that what you said is not funny, you know, they can think that what you said is cruel, but this license to be offended. | ||
| Aren't you blown away? | ||
| I don't want him ever on my show again. | ||
| This is my show. | ||
| I like this show. | ||
| Aren't you blown away, though, how offended people get? | ||
| I feel like comedy should be void of that. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| Sometimes I feel like we're treated like we're speaking to fucking Congress. | ||
| Yeah, we're giving affidavits in court. | ||
| There's a laughing microphone behind me on a sign. | ||
| You see what's going on. | ||
| People are just getting attention. | ||
| I mean, if you talk about it and you engage them and they get to be upset about you and find other folks that are upset about it as well, everybody gets to have a little bit of attention about it. | ||
| That's why, you know, it's obviously one of the most famous moments on the show, but that's why I was always, I was, I was very tight with Kilstein, like Jamie Kilstein at one point, and like as a comic coming out against comedy, that blew my mind so much when that happened. | ||
| Yeah, the thing about Tosh. | ||
| I still once in a while go back and watch that whole thing because I'm trying to get where he was coming from with that. | ||
| Where he's coming from is a very rigid ideology. | ||
| There's a very rigid ideology of what the people that are talking down on it would call the social justice warriors. | ||
| They talk about it in a mocking sense, social justice warriors. | ||
| But social justice warriors, the idea behind the super male feminists, very liberal, a lot of them vegan, this whole idea of do the least amount of harm possible. | ||
| They have a very rigid ideology when it comes to certain things. | ||
| They don't leave any room for certain things to be discussed in a mocking manner. | ||
| And I think that you get stuck in that world, if you're in that world, they have very rigid rules. | ||
| They don't think you should ever say a joke about rape. | ||
| What was really fucked up is Jamie had one about rape. | ||
| It was about men getting raped, and it was okay. | ||
| It's like, you just can't have any mocking jokes about any woman getting raped. | ||
| Even if the Daniel Tosh situation was such an obvious line. | ||
| She yells out during his... | ||
| No one knows the scenario. | ||
| Tosh was on stage, and he was asking the audience what they wanted to talk about. | ||
| Because occasionally, someone will yell out a subject, and it'll be pretty funny. | ||
| And then you may be able to come up with a bit from it. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| He's just having a good time with the crowd, being loose, ad-libbing. | ||
| Some guy yells, talk about rape! | ||
| And he starts listing off all the things that's not funny about rape. | ||
| Like, what are you talking about? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| The humiliation? | ||
| The physical violence? | ||
| What part do you think is funny? | ||
| And this woman self-righteously yells out, actually, there's nothing funny about rape. | ||
| As if he didn't know that. | ||
| As if he wasn't saying that exact same thing. | ||
| And he goes, wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her right now? | ||
| And then everybody starts howling, laughing. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it's a funny thing to say in that moment. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And to argue against that, saying that promotes a culture that accepts rape, is completely ridiculous. | ||
| What it promotes is rallying against people that are stating the obvious. | ||
| They're stating the obvious to take a moral high ground. | ||
| Actually, there's nothing funny about rape. | ||
| Like he was saying that very thing with humor, that there is nothing funny about rape when she chimed in. | ||
| It's a person that wanted attention. | ||
| That's the same person that wrote that blog. | ||
| She wrote a blog about it. | ||
| That very person was like the nightmare person to say that to. | ||
| She went and she wrote this blog and he wound up giving this fake apology, which is pretty hilarious. | ||
| Did you see what Law & Order SVU did with that story? | ||
| What they made that into? | ||
| They did? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know, they do the pull from the headlines. | ||
| So they had the guy... | ||
| First of all, they referred to him as like... | ||
| They're like, where are you going? | ||
| We're going up to the college campus to watch that new rape comic is in town. | ||
| They call him a rape comic. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| It's Jonathan Silverman. | ||
| Plays him. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He goes, the new rape comic in town. | ||
| So he goes up there and his jokes are all about fucking chicks against their wills to some degree. | ||
| But everyone loves him. | ||
| He's getting huge applause and cheers. | ||
| Oh my god, that's so ridiculous. | ||
| What's funny about that is that one scene, after they suspect... | ||
| He goes on trial because a girl almost got raped after his show. | ||
| A girl was a fan of his. | ||
| And they try to make the argument that these guys wouldn't have tried to rape her if they weren't all goosed up from his comedy show. | ||
| And that was the actual argument. | ||
| And what they ended up doing with the story was... | ||
| First thing they do that made me laugh was the whole SVU team goes and sits front row at his comedy show, is what they do first, and they're just sitting there staring and shaking their heads, and you almost want to go, you guys are actually being a pretty shitty audience. | ||
| At the end of the day, it's like, if you're going to sit there and stare, at least sit in the back. | ||
| That seems like kind of a weird, like, you're making the show get weird and rapey by staring, staring at him, but then what they do, the big payoff, is at the end of the whole episode, they make that he was also a rapist. | ||
| I actually tweeted out, I was like, pretty fucking irresponsible. | ||
| Like, that's a really irresponsible thing for a show like that to do. | ||
| You would think that it, by the way, the kind of people that actually would be rapists, they would be talking about how rape is awful. | ||
| Because they would probably be trying to throw people off the face. | ||
| They wouldn't be like raping all the time and then joking about raping all the time. | ||
| Like that sounds like the exact opposite of what you would do if you were trying not to get busted being a fucking rapist. | ||
| Crack joke? | ||
| What are you trying to loosen people's expectations? | ||
| Remember there was a comedian rapist? | ||
| Remember that? | ||
| Oh yeah. | ||
| The guy would backtrack his schools? | ||
| He would go to colleges and he would rape girls at colleges and he would ask them to pray for him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Vince Champ. | ||
| Yeah, but then he would go like those block bookings, like he would go do one school, pick out the chick, go to the next school, and then double back. | ||
| So I think he pulled it off for a while. | ||
| I didn't know he had a strategy. | ||
| Did he have a strategy? | ||
| From what I understand, I could be wrong about that, obviously, but I've heard that from several sources. | ||
| It was like a doubling back thing. | ||
| He won Star Search in 1992, and he's serving a 55- to 70-year sentence for rapes he committed at college campuses on his stand-up circuit. | ||
| How many did they say? | ||
| How many rapes? | ||
| There's a bunch. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| The story I'm looking for has been removed from the internet. | ||
| How many rapes were there? | ||
| Well, there were so many rapes. | ||
| It was in the late 90s. | ||
| Fucking rapes. | ||
| It was in the late 90s. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know how many girls he raped, but he would have asked them to pray for him, which is really fucked. | ||
| Rape's the last thing a chick wants to hear while you're raping them. | ||
| Even you feel bad about the rape. | ||
| I think rape, there always has to be, like, it seems to me like there's got to be a shut up or I'll do this element to it because I feel like you just couldn't. | ||
| It's like professional wrestling, like how you couldn't suplex somebody, like a vertical suplex that doesn't want to be suplexed. | ||
| You couldn't possibly do it to someone. | ||
| I feel like How could you fuck someone who's really snapping their legs shut and fighting? | ||
| That almost seems like it's an impossible task. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Physically? | ||
| For real? | ||
| Yeah, I mean, to some degree... | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| Obviously, it can happen. | ||
| No, but I think there's always an element. | ||
| I think eventually the girl kind of has to do some kind of like, just get this fucking over. | ||
| If you physically fight the entire time, I feel like you almost couldn't pull it off. | ||
| Um, I don't know, man. | ||
| I think a guy could probably pull it off. | ||
| I think they do. | ||
| I don't even know what you're saying. | ||
| Like, guys definitely rape. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| And girls fight to the jack. | ||
| Jesus Christ, does it make it sound like I say guys don't rape, guys rape? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| But girls fight them off, and they still rape them. | ||
| That shit happens all the time. | ||
| I think men are just bigger. | ||
| You know, big, strong men and small women, it's probably, they hold you down. | ||
| It seems pretty obvious. | ||
| You mean booze? | ||
| Is that what you're saying? | ||
| She's not going to be wet. | ||
| I'm not even talking about that. | ||
| I'm talking about the evidence of someone non-stop physically flailing around to completely subdue someone's... | ||
| Have you ever just playfully wrestled with a girl? | ||
| With your girlfriend or something? | ||
| My chick, if I try to hold her arms and I tickle her and she's flailing, I don't think I can control her. | ||
| She's not a big girl at all. | ||
| I control my girlfriend. | ||
| She can't move. | ||
| Brian kicks ass on bullies, controls his girl. | ||
| He's a fucking savage. | ||
| Dude, you can stop a rape and rape. | ||
| Don't even, you know, forget all personal appearances. | ||
| Put that aside. | ||
| He's a savage. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| I can control my girl. | ||
| Yeah, you could, look, man, if you know how to wrestle, you could hold a chick down pretty goddamn easy. | ||
| It's not hard. | ||
| You could hold a dude down. | ||
| But you have to hold her down and accomplish something that's, like, sort of intricate to some degree. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| This is a weird thing to speculate. | ||
| Let's break it down. | ||
| How would you do, Brian? | ||
| Let's take it around the horn. | ||
| It'd be jiu-jitsu-y. | ||
| First of all, I'd do a classroom judo throw. | ||
| Jiu-jitsu and spit. | ||
| I think that it'd probably be... | ||
| Especially if there's a lot of violence involved, right? | ||
| Like hitting, choking. | ||
| I don't think it would be hard. | ||
| I mean, it would obviously... | ||
| It wouldn't be as easy as... | ||
| Normal sex. | ||
| No, I'm almost making the point. | ||
| I'm saying by the time actually the sex part happens, I feel like there's just a give up to some degree. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| You can see me appearing at the Tomahawk University, announcing my college tour. | ||
| It's called the Don't Worry, I Don't Believe I Could Possibly Rape You Tour. | ||
| Hey, everybody has their own confidence level. | ||
| What they can pull off and can't pull off in this life. | ||
| If you feel like you're limited in that regard. | ||
| I can never dunk a basketball and I can never rape. | ||
| Those are the two things I physically can't pull off. | ||
| It is a fucked up thing, man, that's so common in the animal community, like violence and sex. | ||
| watch like i was watching this documentary or was listening to this uh podcast rather uh about um tasmanian devils and how vicious tasmanian devils are with each other and that while they're having sex like they almost they always bite each other they're constantly biting each other and they fuck each other's faces up like when they have sex and they fuck each other's faces up when they're fighting over a meal they're constantly going at it but there was a disease that was spreading amongst them | ||
| that was actually a type of cancer and the type of cancer was actually proving to be something that's contagious. | ||
| By some strange manner of evolution, these cancerous cells would burst and infect the cells around them. | ||
| And so all these Tasmanian devils started dying off because they started developing these cancerous, contagious tumors. | ||
| And they were constantly biting each other in the face. | ||
| So they would be biting into these tumors, and the tumors would literally make tumors on the other animals. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| Just constantly attacking and fucking mangling each other. | ||
| Like, that's what they did. | ||
| They were just constantly, like, biting when they fucked. | ||
| And they make these crazy noises, man. | ||
| This guy who is a... | ||
| Have you ever listened to Radiolab? | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Amazing podcast. | ||
| It's an amazing podcast. | ||
| And the podcast is all, you know, it's all, like, really interesting things that are, like... | ||
| One of them they had about the problems with trying to communicate with dolphins and... | ||
| Just really fascinating, fascinating stuff. | ||
| One of them was on the apocalypse, like what the asteroid impact did and how many animals were killed off and what the original humans probably looked like. | ||
| The thing that became a human that was alive back then, this fucking burrowing underground mammal-rodent type thing. | ||
| But they were doing this radio lab one on these Tasmanian devils and this cancer that was spreading. | ||
| It was fucking madness, man. | ||
| I don't like to dig into stuff like that too much. | ||
| It gives me genuine anxiety, especially apocalypse stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, you know, it's like, oh, there's always just a chance a meteor the size of Texas could destroy the Earth. | ||
| Which is weird that that became like a thing with these animals, that they would bite and fuck while they're biting. | ||
| They're biting each other in the face and... | ||
| And that's not a discussion. | ||
| That's just nature. | ||
| It's just the nature of it. | ||
| They constantly do it. | ||
| Apparently they just bite. | ||
| They're just always fighting over meat and fucking biting each other in the face. | ||
| The praying mantis fucks and kills immediately. | ||
| So does Black Widow, right? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| That's real common in the insect community. | ||
| I saw an ant once. | ||
| This weird fucking ant that takes... | ||
| They're almost all females and there's occasionally males. | ||
| And when they find a male, they bite his legs off. | ||
| They bite his legs off and the male's like slightly larger. | ||
| They bite his legs off and they carry him into the hive to breed. | ||
| And then they wind up killing him. | ||
| They make him write a book. | ||
| They just cripple him. | ||
| He has, like, wings, I think, too. | ||
| Is that the story of misery? | ||
| You make him write a book with your favorite character? | ||
| Yeah, we got it so weak. | ||
| We're such pussies. | ||
| You know, we have a conversation about how difficult it would be to rape somebody, and it's, like, dangerous, subject to tread. | ||
| You look into the nature world, it's like, sex without rape, they're like, what are you talking about? | ||
| It doesn't even happen. | ||
| I want it, I take it. | ||
| Yeah, that's how you make sure that the genes survive. | ||
| Well, yeah, and the lion has to get through all the male lions. | ||
| He has to prove his worth. | ||
| And then eventually, he's going to get pushed out by some new young lions. | ||
| You know, because he wants to keep like a few chicks around. | ||
| And some new young lions are going to, and then he's going to be out there on his own. | ||
| They say that's like the biggest problem in Africa. | ||
| It's like a metaphor for SNL. The new lion comes in. | ||
| The old one gets sent out to pasture. | ||
| Tim Meadows. | ||
| I never watched that show. | ||
| But like with African villages, the real problem that they have is when a lion gets cast out and the females don't get their food anymore. | ||
| Then the lions have to go get their own food. | ||
| And a lot of those old males, they start to get crippled and slow and they chip teeth off and shit. | ||
| Then they become super dangerous because they can't get the normal game animals they're used to getting. | ||
| So then they start snatching people. | ||
| Just, oh yeah, they still keep proving themselves? | ||
| Well, there was a leopard, there was a story about a leopard, it was in the news yesterday, about a leopard in India that they think is responsible, one individual leopard, responsible for 15 deaths, 15 different people, that it targets drunk people, and that it waits, yeah, how fucked is that? | ||
| Well, yes. | ||
| Leopard waits. | ||
| Picks a spot. | ||
| Yeah, well, people, you know, they go out and they start partying, and this leopard has apparently developed this taste for drunk people. | ||
| Like, he knows that when people come out of these bars, they're slow, and they don't know what the fuck's going on, they're not on the ball, and they get jacked. | ||
| It's almost weird to walk out of anywhere in the world of a bar and there's a leopard waiting for you. | ||
| Even in India. | ||
| India is scary with leopards. | ||
| In fact, in India, I find it more weird that there's a bar than a leopard waiting to kill you. | ||
| I feel like there's bars in India. | ||
| Well, you know what's interesting? | ||
| India, everybody always thinks of as being this place of peaceful meditation and yoga, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Desert, camel. | ||
| But you hear about all these goddamn gang rapes. | ||
| India has these horrible stories of people getting gang raped on buses and women dying. | ||
| Don't you hear about those quite a bit? | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
| I wouldn't have normally associated that with India. | ||
| We don't think of that. | ||
| But it's like when you have a billion people, you've got a lot of crazy shit going on. | ||
| You've got a billion people stuffed onto a continent. | ||
| Can you imagine? | ||
| I mean, the young people anywhere are picking up on, especially with internet and everything, picking up on the culture of all that stuff. | ||
| So if you go to South Africa, there's street gangs. | ||
| And they think they're Bloods and Crips because that's what they see. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Sure, yeah. | ||
| I mean, it's not... | ||
| I don't think they're directly affiliated, but there's street gangs, that kind of thing, in South Africa. | ||
| It's a weird place like that. | ||
| Do you remember when there was an Ice Cube song about moving the Crips and the Bloods to the Midwest? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| What was the song? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Steady Mobbin, I think it was. | ||
| Road Trip? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was something like that, where these gangbangers got too hot in LA, so they set up gang affiliates in the middle of the country. | ||
| Oh, those are. | ||
| Those, like, southern ones, like, those documentaries HBO would do about the white boy gangs. | ||
| Like, just a bunch of dudes wearing, like, bandanas over their face and carrying haycickles. | ||
| Like, what a terrifying thing coming your way. | ||
| It's, like, the children of the corn with do-rags on. | ||
| What was that show? | ||
| It was, like, Banging in the Suburbs? | ||
| Banging in Little Rock. | ||
| Banging in Little Rock, that's right. | ||
| That's what it was, yeah. | ||
| Wow, that's right. | ||
| And, like, really, it's, like, white trash guys. | ||
| Like, get him, Gary. | ||
| That scared a lot of people. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| Banging in Little Rock type shit. | ||
| It scares a lot of people. | ||
| The idea that this gang violence that you see in, like, Inglewood and Compton on the television shows, that that somehow or another, that Boys in the Hood shit, could somehow or another make it. | ||
| Yeah, and it's, like, terrifying stuff. | ||
| Especially when you see it in the South, it's weird because it's already kind of a scary area of swampy, overgrown hedges and stuff. | ||
| And then there's a dude with an Uzi wearing a red flannel in swampy Louisiana weather. | ||
| Yeah, fuck. | ||
| And if you're scared of it, you're racist. | ||
| Just don't hit back. | ||
| You know, I tell you what, I've talked about some shit on this podcast and gotten, you know, a lot of people's reactions about it, but one of the biggest reactions I ever got about anything I said was that I was talking about Jon Jones, and I said, I wonder how much of, like, why he's not popular is racism. | ||
| I wonder if people are racist. | ||
| Even if you even say you wonder that someone might be racist, like, if someone's reaction to something, it's probably, like, flipping of me to say, like, that's, like, especially when you're not considering it before you're saying it, you're just discussing a subject because you think it's interesting. | ||
| It's such a charged subject, you gotta have like a fully formed idea before you say it. | ||
| But just the mere possibility that some people could be racist. | ||
| People are so angry. | ||
| Not even saying you're racist. | ||
| Not saying the only way that you couldn't like the guy was because of racism. | ||
| I said, I wonder how much of it is racism. | ||
| I wonder if it's a factor. | ||
| Because I always wonder about racism. | ||
| I think he gives reasons beyond that. | ||
| I think it's a fair question. | ||
| I mean, he gives reasons to dislike him beyond race. | ||
| But, you know, at the same time, why? | ||
| Yeah, some people will just... | ||
| Is it ridiculous the notion that people will just blindly... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| We're leaving a world of apologies. | ||
| Don't apologize for asking. | ||
| Well, it's just such a highly charged subject. | ||
| It's a fascinating thing that it's so highly charged. | ||
| That, you know, even a mere suggestion. | ||
| And if people thought in some way that I meant, if you don't like them, it's because you're racist, then that's my shitty job of communicating an idea. | ||
| Because that's certainly... | ||
| Was never what I was thinking. | ||
| But what I was thinking was, I think, I know for a fact, when I was a kid, I used to root for white guys. | ||
| I just did. | ||
| Like when Jerry Cooney fought Larry Holmes, I remember very clearly being embarrassed that I rooted for Jerry Cooney because he was a white guy. | ||
| Because I remember Larry Holmes boxed the shit out of him. | ||
| And he just picked him apart. | ||
| And before that, I mean, Jerry Cooney was a really good fighter. | ||
| He beat Ken Norton. | ||
| He knocked him out. | ||
| Devastating knockout. | ||
| He was a good fighter. | ||
| But Larry Holmes was a master at the time. | ||
| I should have been appreciating what Larry Holmes was able to do to this guy who had been able to knock out some really good fighters. | ||
| That Larry Holmes was just using his skill. | ||
| But I had been rooting for Jerry Cooney. | ||
| So when he lost, I was like, damn! | ||
| But it might have been because he was the underdog, too. | ||
| No, I was a kid. | ||
| I was dumb. | ||
| I know I was rooting for him because he was white. | ||
| I know I was. | ||
| I was probably, like, I was a senior or a junior, maybe a junior in high school. | ||
| So I guess I was, like, 16. And, yeah, I was just dumb. | ||
| I mean, it wasn't that I was racist. | ||
| But how dumb? | ||
| You could have just been going what you attached to the most, like what you related to the most. | ||
| Most certainly. | ||
| I could be that guy. | ||
| Yeah, most certainly, most certainly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I did it a little bit when I was 20, but not nearly as enthusiastically with Tommy Morrison. | ||
| Screaming? | ||
| I love you, white boxer! | ||
| No, with Tommy Morrison, I was keeping an eye on him. | ||
| How'd you feel after Ray Mercer? | ||
| How'd you feel after that? | ||
| That was the worst knockout I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| That knockout was so good that my friend Kevin, who was a huge fan of Tommy Morrison, wasn't even bummed out. | ||
| He was like, damn, that dude's awesome. | ||
| Just saying that Ray Mercer was so awesome. | ||
| Even though he was rooting for Tommy Morrison, it was such a brutal knockout that he just wanted to see Ray Mercer fight again. | ||
| It was so good. | ||
| Cut to Ray Mercer whispering in a guy's ear a few years later, like, please take a dive. | ||
| I'll give you half the money. | ||
| Who did he say that to? | ||
| I forget, but it was like a court TV case. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| When they were in the clinch, he goes, take a dive. | ||
| I'll give you half the money. | ||
| Who was that? | ||
| Was it Bobby Chez? | ||
| No. | ||
| Who was it that he had a fight with? | ||
| He had a fight with someone, and it was important. | ||
| If he lost the fight, he was not going to get a title shot. | ||
| That's right, or allegedly. | ||
| He asked someone to take a dive. | ||
| I don't know if that's true. | ||
| Have they ever been proven? | ||
| Was it ever proven? | ||
| You can look it up. | ||
| I think he may have been found guilty of that. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Did you ever watch that documentary, speaking of boxing, about the guy, what was his name, where they made his, like, inside of his gloves... | ||
| Billy Resto. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| They fucked who he fought. | ||
| Billy Collins Jr., I think. | ||
| He claims he didn't know. | ||
| Yeah, that was Panama Lewis. | ||
| That was the same guy who doctored up Aaron Pryor's drink. | ||
| He said, don't give me that water. | ||
| Give me the other one, the one that I fixed. | ||
| And then he gives it to Aaron Pryor, and Aaron Pryor goes out there like a fucking bat out of hell and knocks out Alexis Arguello in the next round. | ||
| And they said it was some sort of a stimulant. | ||
| Aaron Pryor wind up having a bit of a drug problem. | ||
| So it could have been related in that way. | ||
| But it's just weird how the fucking ferocity of the reactions when I brought up this racism thing. | ||
| Maybe it was like irresponsible on my part, but I'm sort of happy that I brought it up anyway just because I'm fascinated by the response. | ||
| And I'm fascinated by no black people disagreed with me. | ||
| That's the weird thing. | ||
| The weird thing is the guys who disagree... | ||
| I mean, I don't know everybody who disagreed with me on Twitter, so I'm kind of talking out of my ass here. | ||
| But the people that I interact with on a regular basis, whether they're comics or whatever, they all thought it was... | ||
| The black guys all thought it was very valid. | ||
| That there's a certain amount of... | ||
| Extra judgment that you give a cocky young black athlete. | ||
| I was like, that's fascinating. | ||
| I wonder if that's true. | ||
| Even just paying attention to that, that's something I wonder. | ||
| I wonder what of a factor it is. | ||
| And it's not the only factor. | ||
| Look, there's 350 million people in this country. | ||
| And if a million people like you and a million people hate you, this is a fucking wide variety of reasons. | ||
| But to say that out of all the millions of people who know who you are, That there aren't a certain percentage of them that are racist seems disingenuous. | ||
| I mean, it seems like there's a certain amount of people across the board that are going to be racist. | ||
| If you have 350 million people, I don't know how many people you're going to get that are racist, but there's got to be a certain percentage that has to be factored in there. | ||
| So, you know, saying you wonder how much of it is... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think the interesting thing is that I think Floyd Mayweather... | ||
| People that hate him, I bet there's a lot more racism involved in that than Jon Jones. | ||
| Jon Jones gives you pretty valid reasons to be like, this guy's sort of a dick. | ||
| Just publicly, from what you see, you know, I don't know anything of him other than what I see in the press and on the shows. | ||
| But I mean, like, Mayweather's a guy, you know, you see, he's like, you know, the press is talking to him, he's like throwing $100 bills on the ground, you know, he's just like... | ||
| He's a master showman in that regard, too, though. | ||
| But that... | ||
| Personality feeds into someone who's got racism in their heart. | ||
| That's really... | ||
| That fires them up. | ||
| Well, I've read some horrific shit about... | ||
| Well, I've read some racist shit about both guys, about Jon Jones and about Floyd Mayweather. | ||
| But this recent barrage of shit about people, like how much hate they have for him after he fought Maidan and lost. | ||
| You know, I don't know if they were betting on Maidan. | ||
| I don't know what it is, but that's also how he sells tickets. | ||
| I mean, he sells tickets by people wanting him to lose. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| But he's so fucking... | ||
| Good. | ||
| You can barely hit him. | ||
| If he gets tagged once or twice hard in a fight, it's shocking and rare. | ||
| But there's a lot of fights where he'll go the entire fight just boxing someone's face off and not get hit at all. | ||
| So for every Sugar Shea Mosley who connects or every Maidana right hand that lands, there's a lot of rounds where he's not even getting hit. | ||
| He's just slipping out of things and moving and doing things to you that you didn't expect and moving in a way that you didn't anticipate and Being nowhere near you when you're looking to hit him. | ||
| You know, he's a master, but he's also a master of manipulation. | ||
| I mean, he's playing the heel, where I think John is just a young guy figuring it out on his own while he's one of the baddest men on the planet at 25 years of age. | ||
| And he's had this ridiculous rise to success that happened in a really short period of time. | ||
| Like, From the time he was like 21 years old to the time that he's 25, starts martial arts and becomes the light heavyweight champion. | ||
| I mean, that's fucking crazy. | ||
| I mean, he had a martial art background because he was a really good wrestler and did know some kicking and punching and stuff before he started into MMA. But he got into MMA because he got his girlfriend pregnant. | ||
| And he, you know, he couldn't go to college. | ||
| He wanted to do the right thing and said, all right, fuck it, I'll start fighting. | ||
| And then got into it. | ||
| I mean, he's a crazy road for anybody to take. | ||
| And to be that popular and that famous at 25, yeah, you're gonna fuck up, man. | ||
| But there was a... | ||
| You're gonna make mistakes. | ||
| You got to watch... | ||
| Can you almost pinpoint what it is when the switch flipped on him? | ||
| I remember, like, I went to UFC 101 in Philly, Forrest Griffin versus Silva, and there he was walking around, John Jones. | ||
| And I remember my buddy Dave was with me. | ||
| He was like, there's John Jones, man. | ||
| He's like, that guy's badass. | ||
| He's going to be the next champion. | ||
| He was just really pumping him up, saying how great he was and how fun of a young boy. | ||
| And then I started paying attention to him more, and he was amazing. | ||
| And then just one day, it just seems like people were like, what a dick. | ||
| Some people, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but people want you to be perfect. | ||
| They're looking for flaws, too. | ||
| When you're such a bad motherfucker. | ||
| The Machida thing was the first thing I saw. | ||
| He didn't do anything wrong in that. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| I thought it was weird that he dropped him afterwards. | ||
| I know it's an aggressive situation, but I think dropping a guy that he said he knew was unconscious was kind of shitty for a sport. | ||
| I thought this was all supposed to be handshakes at the end and stuff. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| I think it's still in combat mode, though. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| You could hear, but when he walks over, it's funny, Greg Jackson, you could hear him say to him, he goes, John, go win these people back and go check if he's okay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's true. | |
| He says, he goes, go check if he's okay. | ||
| Go get some fans. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, go get some fans. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's true. | ||
| I think, but also I think to be a bad motherfucker at that high level, like a lot of times these guys are so intense that they get completely caught up in it and they're just trapped in the moment. | ||
| I think... | ||
| I know the dude. | ||
| I know him from backstage. | ||
| I know him from when he's not fighting. | ||
| And he's really friendly. | ||
| He's a really cool dude. | ||
| But I wouldn't want to be fighting him. | ||
| I think if you're competing against him, all those dudes that are at the top of the heap, they're pretty fucking ferocious. | ||
| And some guys are better at keeping it together in scenarios like that, where they don't drop the guy. | ||
| But some guys aren't. | ||
| You know, I mean, Dan Henderson was one of the greatest of all time. | ||
| One of the most famous moments in his career is he knocked out Michael Bisping with his vicious right hand. | ||
| And Bisping went soaring. | ||
| I mean, he was out cold. | ||
| And Henderson dropped one on him afterwards. | ||
| I remember that. | ||
| And then talked about it in the post-fight interview, how he dropped one on it. | ||
| I mean, that's common. | ||
| He said the last one was running his mouth kind of thing. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Babalu, who's another famous mixed martial arts fighter, great fighter, who fought in a bunch of different organizations. | ||
| He lost his gig with the UFC, partially because he held onto this guy after he was done choking him, and then talked about it in the post-fight press interview with me. | ||
| That guy was, I mean, not doing anything that B.J. Penn hadn't done. | ||
| B.J. Penn did the same thing to Jens Pulver. | ||
| Like, Pulver was tapping, he still fucking hung on to it because they were angry at each other. | ||
| But Pulver didn't go out, you know? | ||
| And for whatever reason, him holding that choke for an extra couple of seconds was okay. | ||
| Whereas Boba Lou's guy went out and then he talked about it. | ||
| But everybody knows why they do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| They do it because they're fucking caught up in all the trash talking and all the bullshit and... | ||
| It is important that a fighter let go when a referee tells him not to, but it's understandable how these guys get caught up in that. | ||
| It's understandable. | ||
| They've got to stop doing it, but what John did technically, there's nothing wrong with it. | ||
| Because when the referee came over to him, he didn't keep hanging on to it. | ||
| That would have been a more egregious example. | ||
| More, you know... | ||
| But it is one of those things where you appreciate, like Nate Marquardt fought this guy Damian Maia, knocked him out with one punch. | ||
| Damian was dazed but still conscious. | ||
| And Marquardt hovered over him and pulled back. | ||
| Realized he was out of it. | ||
| The referee stepped in and stopped it. | ||
| But Nate easily could have dropped a bomb on him. | ||
| And he didn't, and it was a really classy move. | ||
| And people really respected that, that he did that. | ||
| And I made sure I talked about it in the commentary that it was a very classy move. | ||
| Roy Jones used to do that. | ||
| Roy Jones used to almost look at the ref like, stop this. | ||
| He did that with Vinny Pazienza. | ||
| He looked over at the ref and he's like, come on, man, stop the fight. | ||
| And the referee said, no, he said, okay. | ||
| And then he went, ba-bing! | ||
| And dropped him again. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, there's moments. | ||
| Isn't moments an interesting thing? | ||
| Once you lose your mojo, man, isn't it amazing if Roy Jones overnight went from still doing amazing things and then he lost and he lost again and he lost... | ||
| It can go... | ||
| Once you stop... | ||
| Believing in yourself as an athlete, it is a lot to do with you believing you're indestructible. | ||
| Once you see that chink in your own armor, man, getting that energy back up to do it again must be really, really hard. | ||
| Yeah, I guarantee. | ||
| And there's a lot of other factors involved in Roy, too, because he went up to heavyweight and then really had to dehydrate himself and weaken himself very badly, getting back down to light heavyweight again. | ||
| And then he got knocked out. | ||
| I mean, he fought... | ||
| Glenn Johnson, right? | ||
| No, Glenn Johnson knocked him out after... | ||
| God damn it, I can't believe it. | ||
| Tarver? | ||
| Yes, Antonio Tarver. | ||
| Tarver knocked him out. | ||
| Tarver was the first guy to stop him. | ||
| And he did it in a fight where it was a rematch of a fight that they had that was very close. | ||
| And then Roy went up to heavyweight, he boxed John Ruiz and beat him for the title, then came down to light heavyweight. | ||
| And in losing that 25 pounds, he really... | ||
| He dehydrated the shit out of himself. | ||
| He looked terrible. | ||
| He looked like he had starved. | ||
| He lost all of his hardness to his muscles. | ||
| He looked terrible. | ||
| It was a really ugly weight cut. | ||
| And he might have been on some shit to get up to heavyweight too. | ||
| That's possible. | ||
| And then you get off that shit, your hormone levels crash. | ||
| That's a speculation. | ||
| But the bottom line was, Tarver knocked him out. | ||
| And when Tarver connected, and Tarver's a big puncher, and we connected and knocked him out, Roy was never the same. | ||
| Then the Glenn Johnson fight was scary. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Never the same. | ||
| Just one day it just happens. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Mike Tyson was never the same. | ||
| You know, Lennox Lewis. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He was never the same necessarily after jail, but he was still pretty ferocious after jail. | ||
| Well, Tyson went to jail after he lost the title. | ||
| Tyson lost and then went to jail and came back and was still fucking ferocious. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The difference in, like, what happened with Roy is that Roy fought again, like, within a certain amount of time and got knocked out really bad. | ||
| And when you get knocked out by a guy, when you get your brain scrambled, like, it takes a long time for it to heal. | ||
| Freddie Roach is a genius. | ||
| And one of the things that he did brilliantly with Manny Pacquiao is after Pacquiao got knocked out, he told him, you're not going to fight for a year. | ||
| He's like, take your head out of this. | ||
| That was a bad knockout. | ||
| And Freddie is a guy who suffers from trauma-related Parkinson's himself. | ||
| He's got the shakes from his career in boxing. | ||
| And so, because of that, he's super, super aware of damage. | ||
| And he's like, look, you could be okay, but you've got to heal up. | ||
| There's no contact for a long time. | ||
| You're going to not fight for a year. | ||
| And then he came back a year later, and he looked great. | ||
| He looked like Manny Pacquiao. | ||
| And I think that rest time is super important, that recuperation time. | ||
| It's very important when a guy gets knocked out. | ||
| And so we saw Roy get beat by that guy, or get beat by Tarver, and then beat again by Johnson in a really scary way. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, that's when he went through the ropes. | ||
| Well, he went down and banged his head off the ground. | ||
| And he was stiff. | ||
| At the end of the fight, he was stiff in this weird, scary way. | ||
| And it didn't look like the kind of punch that would do that to you. | ||
| It didn't look like the kind of punch that would really put you in a catatonic state like that. | ||
| That was scary as shit, man. | ||
| It was also scary because Roy Jones, you know, he used to be invincible. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I mean. | ||
| Watching that happen to people is very, you know, watching like, you know, Michael Jordan number 45 come back on the Washington Wizards. | ||
| You know, you're like, ah. | ||
| Well, it's like watching Michael Jordan play baseball. | ||
| Yeah, that was the first thing. | ||
| He's human! | ||
| Yeah, that was definitely the first thing. | ||
| But to come back, because he came back and then was pretty great again, but then by the time he came back on The Wizards that one time, it was like, why even? | ||
| You never wanted to believe it wouldn't be good anymore. | ||
| I never saw that. | ||
| I never saw him come back. | ||
| That was tough to watch. | ||
| I had that with being from Philly. | ||
| Iverson, when he came back, did like 16 games before he left again. | ||
| Doesn't Iverson have some weird situation where like when he gets to be 50, he gets like some giant chunk of money? | ||
| Apparently, yeah. | ||
| With Reebok, he has some kind of like... | ||
| They're like set aside. | ||
| Putting money in trust or something like that. | ||
| Weird. | ||
| But he's broke now, right? | ||
| That's what they say. | ||
| They said he was begging for money. | ||
| Well, actually, it turned out it was bullshit, right? | ||
| Wasn't that a bullshit story? | ||
| He's not begging for money. | ||
| They just retired his number. | ||
| He looks fine. | ||
| No, somebody was saying that he was outside of a mall asking for money, but then I think that turned out to be a bullshit rumor that someone started. | ||
| Yeah, that's absolutely... | ||
| I heard Marilyn Manson lives above a fucking liquor store here in LA. He might. | ||
| He might do that just to be a fucking crazy person. | ||
| Marilyn Manson is the real deal, dude. | ||
| Talk to Stan... | ||
| Do you know Stan Hope? | ||
| No, he's... | ||
| Marilyn Manson is my favorite rock star of all time. | ||
| Do you know Stan Hope? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You need to talk to Stanhope about Manson. | ||
| They hung out? | ||
| Oh, good lordy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, I don't want to say anything on the air. | ||
| It's not my place. | ||
| But go ask. | ||
| He's not playing games. | ||
| Sounds like an absence story. | ||
| Nope. | ||
| It involves a lot of different things. | ||
| You need to hear it all from Stanhope. | ||
| I will. | ||
| I will look into that. | ||
| Or Malin Manson. | ||
| Or talk to Tate Fletcher. | ||
| Tate Fletcher's hung out with him, too. | ||
| I never met Marilyn Manson because for the same reason every time I see Dice, I never really talk to him. | ||
| Because I'm like, if this guy's a douchebag to me, it's going to just destroy my thing. | ||
| Dice would be cool to you. | ||
| If you're a comic, yeah, you'll be cool. | ||
| I wrote him on Bobby Kelly's podcast. | ||
| They made me read it. | ||
| I wrote him. | ||
| I got stoned one night and just... | ||
| This is... | ||
| This should have happened 15 years ago, not a year and a half ago. | ||
| I wrote him some Facebook-y love letter, and the return thing was like, this is actually Dice's assistant. | ||
| He doesn't really check his own personal thing. | ||
| I was like, yes! | ||
| Oh, I gave him references to who to ask about me. | ||
| Oh, no! | ||
| How long had you been doing comedy when you did that? | ||
| 14 years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
LAUGHTER It was a year and a half ago, that's what I'm saying. | |
| I got stoned and I was like... | ||
| You know what it was? | ||
| I got stoned and I was listening to Dice Man Cometh. | ||
| And Dice Man Cometh... | ||
| Look, as a professional adult comic now, doing it many years, I see the holes in everyone's game all the way... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| There's no pedestal that I have on... | ||
| Except for the fact that Dice, when I was younger, loved him. | ||
| It was my favorite thing in the world. | ||
| It was part of the reason... | ||
| I would be funny. | ||
| I would go to school and recite Dice lines. | ||
| It was also a bonding thing that me and my step-pop started dating my mom and staying over and everything like that. | ||
| He would let me watch Dice. | ||
| He brought that into my life. | ||
| That was our bonding thing. | ||
| We both just loved Dice. | ||
| So now when I see him, just one of those guys, just like you, that somehow we haven't crossed paths. | ||
| I've seen him once in a while. | ||
| I'm like, I'm going to go talk to him, and I just don't. | ||
| Well, if I'm ever around him and you're around him, I'll introduce you. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's fun. | ||
| He's been on the podcast a bunch of times. | ||
| He's been great on the podcast, yeah. | ||
| I hung out with him and Norton and Anthony and... | ||
| God, it was a bunch of us. | ||
| And Brian and who else was with us? | ||
| Was Bobby Kelly? | ||
| No, it wasn't Bobby Kelly. | ||
| It was Bobby Kelly? | ||
| Yeah, Bobby Kelly was there too. | ||
| Yeah, and we all saw him. | ||
| We went to his show in Vegas. | ||
| Yeah, at the Riviera. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Which is the classic venue. | ||
| It's the only place I've ever played. | ||
| Hasn't changed since 1970. I mean, they haven't done a goddamn thing. | ||
| They've washed the floor. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| He's at the comedy club? | ||
| Yeah, upstairs. | ||
| Right across from the Dancing Girls show? | ||
| No, he was at the above thing, the theater. | ||
| They used to have the Frank Marino drag show, the drag queen show. | ||
| Did you ever see that? | ||
| No. | ||
| Oh, it was great. | ||
| He's, like, the Lady is the Queen, I think. | ||
| Like, he has, like, a book out about, you know, being a cross-dresser. | ||
| He used to do a whole show where he would, like, cross-dress this guy. | ||
| And he's, like, a famous cross-dresser for Vegas. | ||
| Like, one of those guys where, like, you really didn't see him or hear about him anywhere else, but if you're in Vegas, like Frank Marino, you'd see his name on these cabs, like the little triangle that sits on top of the cab. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| The little billboard things that they have that they rent out. | ||
| And so Dice had that room. | ||
| It was like the upstairs room. | ||
| It's a larger room. | ||
| And we went to see it. | ||
| We're howling like little school children. | ||
| And then after it was over, we were hanging out backstage. | ||
| And I was like, holy shit, I'm backstage with Dice. | ||
| I was thinking about being a kid and listening to his... | ||
| It was a cassette in my car. | ||
| Yeah, tapes. | ||
| Dice rules. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It was just Dice, I think. | ||
| The first one was just Dice. | ||
| And I was listening to it with this girl I was dating. | ||
| We were crying, laughing. | ||
| We thought it was so funny. | ||
| Because back then it was like so shocking what he was saying. | ||
| Anytime someone dismisses Dice, I always go, uh... | ||
| He goes, he's having a hard time making friends, so I go to see the psychotherapist. | ||
| And I'm like, hey doc, I'm having a hard time making friends, you fucking cocksucker. | ||
| Ha ha ha ha! | ||
| I'm like, if you tell me that's not funny, you just don't know what funny is. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, he... | |
| You know, if you know his story, that dice part was a character. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yep. | |
| Oh, yeah, no, I know the whole... | ||
| I mean, just from being a fan, but I heard him on your thing, too, tell the whole story and everything. | ||
| But it's weird that he acknowledges it being a character and still, in a weird way, chooses to live as the character. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He likes it. | ||
| He likes being that guy. | ||
| He likes wearing wrestling fucking gloves. | ||
| Joey Buttafuoco sweatshirts and shit. | ||
| Just the cut. | ||
| Weightlifting gloves. | ||
| Oh, he's going to do flash dance? | ||
| The flash dance shirts? | ||
| He used to wear the Gold's Gym jacket everywhere. | ||
| The way he came out on the one he did in the round, the special, was the headband with the big feathered staying alive hair. | ||
| Well, you ever hear him talk about how he tried to move back to Brooklyn, too? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-uh. | |
| Oh, it's hilarious. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He just tried to move back with those animals. | ||
| After he became the Dice Man, I'm going to go back to the neighborhood. | ||
| Get a nice place. | ||
| Put up a fence and hide behind it. | ||
| You can't just be hanging around with those people? | ||
| It's an interesting... | ||
| I'd be curious to find out if Larry the cable guy... | ||
| Like, he's like, hey, babe, I gotta run to the hardware store or whatever. | ||
| You know, I'm sure he doesn't do that. | ||
| But whatever I have to go out for, if he has to go throw on, like, a sleeveless flannel shirt, if he can go back... | ||
| I mean, he's like a tucked-in shirt guy. | ||
| Well, he... | ||
| That is a complete and total character. | ||
| Yeah, Dan Whitney. | ||
| But does he... | ||
| I mean, is he almost committed to living his life now as Larry the Cable? | ||
| I mean, he sort of has to. | ||
| I think he kind of has to. | ||
| I mean, if he ever went out as Dan Whitney or did an interview, like on The View, he's one of the few real characters in stand-up. | ||
| Whereas, like, if he went on The View, I don't know why I keep saying The View, but if he went on the Jimmy Fallon show, The Tonight Show, and he went on as Dan Whitney, it would probably blow his whole fucking thing. | ||
| Well, isn't that what happened? | ||
| You can almost pinpoint the change in Dice's career trajectory was when he cried in Arsenio Hall. | ||
| He humanized himself too much, which some people probably thought was a cool thing, but when he cried about... | ||
| Like, you know, Dice Man's supposed to come out and be... | ||
| You know, they were taking his movie out of the theater. | ||
| That was his beef. | ||
| And he got teary-eyed. | ||
| But if before he... | ||
| You know, Dice is supposed to come out and be like, Fuck you! | ||
| Don't see my movie, you twats! | ||
| Wow! | ||
| But he cried in Arsenio Hall, and it was real... | ||
| It was a genuine moment, and that's just, you know, that's not who Dice is. | ||
| Well, I think he was also under some insane pressure. | ||
| Like, if you don't remember what it was like back then, like, there were so many people that were angry to me. | ||
| I mean, he had, like, some hateful comedy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Like, the things that he was making fun, like, the way he was making fun of it, it's like... | ||
| If you go back and listen to Eddie Murphy Raw, if you go back and see some of the gay stuff, it was really aggressively anti-gay. | ||
| Homophobic. | ||
| The comic strip in New York, I've told this on so many radio shows, but it does make me laugh that how things have changed and no one... | ||
| It comes down on Eddie Murphy ever for this stuff, but they have two of his gold albums on the wall. | ||
| And the first one, track four, is just called Faggots. | ||
| And then track one on the next album is because it says Faggots and in parentheses it says Revisited. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We didn't cover it all on the first go-round. | |
| Well, in that way, social justice warriors, as it were, are kind of important because that's the only reason why a lot of this change has taken place is because of how outraged people got. | ||
| If people just kept quiet about it back then. | ||
| So in a way, taking it too far sort of bounces back and has a healthy middle. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| In some ways, there's always going to be the far left. | ||
| But in a lot of ways, the far left tempers the far right. | ||
| It's because the standard changes. | ||
| It moves back and forth. | ||
| If you let people go and be as racist and as homophobic and as hateful as they want and don't do anything about it, they kind of never realize that what they're doing is shitty. | ||
| But because of the blowback, like Dice, all that crying and everything that he did, that's probably a direct result of blowback. | ||
| He was constantly experiencing people that were protesting. | ||
| Remember, he got kicked off of MTV for life. | ||
| And I remember Kurt Loder saying about how unfunny it was. | ||
| Unfunny to who? | ||
| To you? | ||
| Okay, I guarantee you if he did that late night at the comedy store, it would fucking crush. | ||
| So, like, are you recognizing this as a character, or do you think this is a real person who's saying these real things, and do you think there's any comedy in this play that he's putting on, which is essentially he's pretending to be this awful guy! | ||
| Oh, you cocksucker! | ||
| Yeah, say he's gonna fuck a guy's chick in front of him. | ||
| It's obvious that he doesn't really mean that. | ||
| I mean, he's like, five minutes left. | ||
| That's what he's doing. | ||
| There's some craziness to it. | ||
| I mean, it's a character. | ||
| I mean, is there a difference between that character and the bad guy character in a movie where the guy is running around killing people or raping people? | ||
| Is there a difference? | ||
| I mean, it is just fiction. | ||
| Like, how come we don't hold the actor responsible because the actor didn't write it? | ||
| If he wrote it and he wanted to be the bad guy, would we be upset at him? | ||
| No, it's like, for the comedian... | ||
| Well, for that kind of comedy... | ||
| But I mean, but there's also... | ||
| You don't have to do a character to say... | ||
| I feel like the entire disclaimer of everything goes to, like I said earlier, there's a laughing microphone behind you on a wall. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm not addressing the State of the Union. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I'm up here telling you, it's clearly... | ||
| That was all my thing about with the Tosh, the lady getting so mad. | ||
| It's like, do you believe for one split second that Daniel Tosh is pro-rape and has slipped through the cracks to find himself massive television success? | ||
| Do you believe that? | ||
| That doesn't happen. | ||
| No. | ||
| It doesn't happen. | ||
| That would have reared its head before. | ||
| It's not what they're saying. | ||
| What they're saying is they've found a green light. | ||
| They've found a green light to be outraged. | ||
| And, you know, also some people are way more sensitive than others. | ||
| You know, being called out in front of all those people, having everybody laugh at what he said to her, probably sucked for her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| So she decided that she was, for whatever reason, you know, she was justified in proving her point, or making her point, or expressing herself. | ||
| Which, you know, you should be allowed to express yourself, but the idea that he's supposed to apologize for that, like, if you look at what it was on paper, and then they hear comics agreeing with him, that was just disappointing. | ||
| But your outrage is supposed to come at, like, oppression, injustice, whatever. | ||
| You're not supposed to, like, rage against the art of You know what I mean? | ||
| Like... | ||
| In a clear... | ||
| The creatives? | ||
| ...fucking around situation where someone's just fucking around. | ||
| It's clear. | ||
| I mean, he's ad-libbing. | ||
| This is not a thought-out piece, you know, where he's advocating a woman, a random woman getting raped for no reason other than... | ||
| But it's also not a Klan rally is what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're in an environment of this is what it is. | ||
| Well, you know what, man? | ||
| Some people would be really happy if everybody was exactly like them. | ||
| If everybody had the same sensibilities, sensitivities, everybody had the same ideas about what's important to talk about, what you can't talk about, what's taboo, what's okay. | ||
| You know... | ||
| There's plenty of people out there that agree and disagree and they're fucking going at it back and forth. | ||
| That's what's fascinating. | ||
| That's what's fascinating about trying to find out where's the middle ground. | ||
| How much of it is me being crazy? | ||
| How much of it is me just tapping into one mindset with whatever thing you support or disagree with? | ||
| You know, anything. | ||
| Whether it's the style of comedy that people do or the kind of music that people are into. | ||
| Some fucking kid got arrested because he took some lyrics to a song and put the lyrics up as a tweet. | ||
| And they arrested him. | ||
| Because it was like some fucking crazy... | ||
| Copyright? | ||
| Some song about school shootings. | ||
| Oh, I was going to say, it wasn't for the actual copyright of the song. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| They arrested him because he tweeted some, and the band, I forget what the band's name was that came to his defense, but they're like, this is the lyrics to our song. | ||
| It's like an anti-school shooting song. | ||
| But it's like talking about where this all comes from. | ||
| I don't know if it's an anti-school shooting song, but it's just a song. | ||
| And it's coming from, like, the rage of, like, where's this guy feeling? | ||
| What is this guy doing? | ||
| And this guy tweeted this, these lyrics. | ||
| Like, if you tweet something from a movie about, like, kill them all, let God sort them out, like, does that mean I'm going to go out and kill people? | ||
| I mean, Gus Van Sant made a whole, basically, a Columbine movie. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Remember what he did in that movie, though? | ||
| What he added in, for some reason, was before they went to do the murder, they just got in the shower together and made out. | ||
| What movie was that? | ||
| Elephant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Elephant. | |
| He just added that in there. | ||
| Before they went to go shoot, it was all the same thing. | ||
| Filming themselves and planning the whole thing for weeks and getting the guns together. | ||
| And then right before school that morning, they just hopped in the shower together and started making out. | ||
| The two dudes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Nothing about that ever in the real story. | ||
| That was how he made it like, you know, oh no, this isn't the Columbine story. | ||
| These kids were making out in a shower first. | ||
| Wow, that's pretty clever of him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hilarious. | |
| And on that note, Big Jay Oakerson, thank you very much, brother. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This was a lot of fun. | |
| This was amazing. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| I think we could do like a hundred of these. | ||
| Yeah, well, anytime I come out, dude, I'll be happy. | ||
| Anytime. | ||
| How often are you out here? | ||
| I'm trying to come out more. | ||
| I'm trying to come out like three times a year, at least. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| And you're on Ari Shafir's Storyteller Show that's online, and are you doing the other one tonight? | ||
| I'm doing the one for TV tonight. | ||
| I think there's probably some tickets available. | ||
| Ari was upset that they weren't moving quick enough. | ||
| People just didn't know about it. | ||
| But they're available for free. | ||
| Contact Ari Shafir on Twitter and he will respond to you and get you tickets for free. | ||
| Big Jay Oakerson on Twitter. | ||
| What's your website? | ||
| Big J Comedy. | ||
| Big J Comedy, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Thank you, brother. | ||
| Thanks for having me. | ||
| Fun times. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Thanks to our sponsor. | ||
| Thanks to Squarespace. | ||
| Go to squarespace.com. | ||
| Use the code word ROGAN and save 10% off your first purchase at squarespace.com. | ||
| Entering the code word ROGAN. Thanks also to LegalZoom. | ||
| Enter the code word ROGAN at the referral box at checkout. | ||
| LegalZoom. | ||
| An awesome way to do legal shit from the comforts of your own home. | ||
| And last but not least, thanks to Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN and save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Alright, we'll be back tomorrow with Rupert Sheldrake. | ||
| And then Thursday with Graham Hancock. | ||
| See you soon. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye-bye. |
Export Selection