Sept. 10, 2014 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:50:22
| 
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
Hey, everybody. | |
| How you doing? | ||
| This is my new radio voice. | ||
| I'm doing a late night shift. | ||
| As I stick with you, as you ride down the road to your destination, we're going to keep you tucked in here on the JRE. What number is this? | ||
| What episode is this? | ||
| 547. What is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
547. Number 547. Jody Rose is here, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com. | ||
| That's my real voice. | ||
| Stamps.com is a way that you can run a business, send shit from your home or from your office just using your home computer. | ||
| You don't have to go to the post office, get things weighed out anymore. | ||
| You can print official U.S. postage directly from your home computer. | ||
| It is a marvel of convenience, ladies and gentlemen, and is what Brian Redband uses to ship everything out. | ||
| If you order a t-shirt or a hat or any of those cool new things, if you go to shopsquad.tv, there's a bunch of new shit in. | ||
| All that stuff is handled by stamps.com. | ||
| Our friends Bert Kreischer, he sends his shit through Stamps.com. | ||
| Tom Segura and Christina Prisitsky, they send their merchandise through Stamps.com. | ||
| Stamps.com is an awesome way to get 24-hour access to the post office right from your computer. | ||
| No waiting in line, no hassles. | ||
| Print it up on your home computer, right there on your printer, and then boom, give that shit to the mailman and you're done, kid. | ||
| Stamps.com makes mailing and shipping very easy with any computer, any printer. | ||
| Very simple to do. | ||
| Hand it to your mail carrier and you're diggity, diggity done. | ||
| Stamps.com will send you a digital scale automatically that automatically calculates the exact postage you need for any class of mail. | ||
| You'll never need to go to the post office again. | ||
| Go right now to Stamps.com and use the promo code JRE for this special offer. | ||
| It's a no-risk trial, $110 bonus offer which includes a digital scale and up to $55 of free postage. | ||
| So do not wait. | ||
| Go to Stamps.com. | ||
| And before you do anything else, go and click on that microphone in the upper right-hand corner. | ||
| Who's doing that thing with their mouth? | ||
| Is that you, Joe DeRosa? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Was I doing that? | ||
| You're doing some weird shit, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| No worries. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Stamps.com. | ||
| Use the code word JRE and again, get your $110 bonus offer. | ||
| Can't recommend Stamps.com enough. | ||
| Literally, you've never heard one bad thing about them. | ||
| They're fucking fantastic. | ||
| Use the code word JRE and save yourself some money. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Blue Apron. | ||
| Blue Apron is a fantastic new product or service, I should say, that sends you all the ingredients and the recipes with photographs, detailed photographs, step-by-step instructions for you to create your own meals. | ||
| Excellent, healthy, 500-700 calories per serving, but if you eat it, you'd think it'd be a lot more than that, because they're really good stuff. | ||
| They have a whole bunch of really groovy recipes for all sorts of different things, and they send you new stuff every week. | ||
| Like this week, I've got chicken breast gumbo with chicken sausage and okra, pan-seared scallops with sautéed sungolds. | ||
| I don't even know what a sungold is, but it sounds awesome. | ||
| I don't know what this is either. | ||
| Purslane. | ||
| P-U-R-S-L-A-N-E. Purslane over farro. | ||
| Farro is a type of pasta, right? | ||
| Beef patty melt. | ||
| Mexican style turkey burger. | ||
| Cod with pickled grapes and summer succotash. | ||
| This is awesome stuff. | ||
| And easy to do. | ||
| I cook a lot, but I don't really follow recipes. | ||
| I mostly cook meat like a fucking caveman. | ||
| But I've been using Blue Apron, and even making complex things is not difficult. | ||
| I made these awesome ground beef stuffed peppers. | ||
| They were fantastic. | ||
| It was really good, and it's fun. | ||
| It's exciting to do. | ||
| It excites me. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| I said Blue Apron excites me. | ||
| And here's how it works. | ||
| For $9.99 a meal, they'll send you the right ingredients in the exact right proportions with simple recipe instructions right to your door. | ||
| Blue Apron includes step-by-step instructions with pictures. | ||
| So it's idiot-proof. | ||
| It's super easy to do. | ||
| They work around your schedule and your dietary preferences. | ||
| Cooking takes about a half an hour and shipping is always free. | ||
| They never send you the same meal twice Short rib burgers on pretzel buns Kung Pao chicken tacos Yummy shit folks you'll cook incredible meals and be blown away by the quality and the freshness. | ||
| I have zero complaints in They've been excellent so far. | ||
| Blueapron.com forward slash Rogan. | ||
| Go there and get your first two meals for free. | ||
| That's blueapron.com forward slash Rogan. | ||
| And then, last but not least, what do we have, last but not least? | ||
| Dollar Shave Club? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dollar Shave. | |
| Oh, that's right, sweet bitches. | ||
| Dollar Shave Club is back. | ||
| If you are a member of Dollar Shave Club, you know what the fuck is up. | ||
| You gotta remember to buy razors, folks. | ||
| That shit's annoying. | ||
| The last thing you wanna do is be going through your, what's that, what, cabinet? | ||
| Where you keep all your pills? | ||
| Your medicine cabinet. | ||
| Looking for a razor that doesn't exist? | ||
| You're like, you motherfucker, I forgot to buy razors! | ||
| And especially if you have one of those dickhead bosses... | ||
| Brian Redman, what's with all this stubble? | ||
| You present an unprofessional appearance! | ||
| You have to use your girl's razor with all her hair in it and cold water. | ||
| You don't want to go to the store for anything more. | ||
| The more shit you can get delivered to you, the better your life will be. | ||
| Trust me. | ||
| I'm a fucking firm believer in getting shit done online. | ||
| You know, you gotta find that locked plastic fortress when you go to the fucking pharmacy where they keep all the razors. | ||
| They don't want you cutting your throat right there in front of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I can't take fucking buying razors anymore. | |
| There's only one guy with the key. | ||
| He's always taking a shit. | ||
| You gotta find him. | ||
| With this, with dollarshaveclub.com, dollarshaveclub.com, you can, for a few bucks a month, cut all that shit out of your life. | ||
| It's a much smarter way than going to the store. | ||
| Their plans start at just $3 a month. | ||
| Signing up takes just two minutes. | ||
| Then sit back and blades arrive like clockwork. | ||
| The razors are better than the big shave companies for a fraction of the price. | ||
| You can shave with a fresh blade every week, no membership fees, no commitments, and they have a money-back guarantee. | ||
| You have nothing to lose by trying them out. | ||
| So stop fucking around and go to dollarshaveclub.com slash rogan. | ||
| That's dollarshaveclub.com slash rogan. | ||
| And last but not least, we're brought to you by onnit.com. | ||
| It's O-N-N-I-T. We have new cups that came in, the Conquer Cups. | ||
| They're inspirational cups. | ||
| This one is the Miyamoto Musashi cup. | ||
| It said, today is a victory over yourself of yesterday. | ||
| Tomorrow is your victory over lesser foes. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Badass samurai quotes. | ||
| That's what I'm talking about, bitch. | ||
| Alright, Joe DeRose is here. | ||
| Why fuck around? | ||
| Onnit.com. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T. That's it. | ||
| Use the code word, Rogan. | ||
| Save money. | ||
| Save 10% off any null supplements. | ||
|
unidentified
|
With the code word ROGAN as Brian tries to start the music. | |
| Joe Rogan, check it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Start the music. | |
| Do you know how to do it? | ||
| Yeah, it's not working for some reason. | ||
| Maybe because you weren't ready? | ||
| No, it was. | ||
| There we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| I like that chick, I'm at her. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow, that's the worst one ever. | |
| Congratulations. | ||
| I didn't think you could fuck it up any more than that. | ||
| I mean, it started off bad, the middle was bad, there was fucking two of them playing at the same time, and it ended abruptly. | ||
| Everything was wrong. | ||
| Congratulations. | ||
| If you did that in a movie, if you planned out the worst intro music for a podcast in a movie, you'd fucking... | ||
| It sounded like you just took a random part out of a Primus. | ||
| It sounded like a snippet from a Primus song, where it would have made sense in the whole picture, but just the clip, you were like, it doesn't make sense. | ||
| Yeah, it's a kind of funny story that wound up getting resolved, but Jamie called me the other day to tell me that one of my videos got taken down from the internet because someone used my words, like my voice, in a song, and then copyrighted it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, they copyrighted my voice. | ||
| So when my voice, the original version of that, was online, they put a copyright hit against me for my own voice. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| That is unbelievable. | ||
| It was so hilarious. | ||
| I mean, it got resolved when I started tweeting about it. | ||
| Like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| I don't know the details. | ||
| I don't know what the dude was thinking, how he thought he could copyright my own voice. | ||
| What was the song? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I didn't even listen to the song. | ||
| I heard the beginning of it where it sounds... | ||
| There's a video that this guy did called American... | ||
| What is it called? | ||
| The American War Machine? | ||
| American War Machine. | ||
| Paradigm Shift on YouTube. | ||
| Really cool guy. | ||
| Met him in Vancouver. | ||
| Very nice guy. | ||
| Very talented guy, too. | ||
| Did this video. | ||
| It's really cool. | ||
| It's combining a bunch of rants with all this video of war stuff and stuff about U.S. history and how crazy the military-industrial complex is. | ||
| And the beginning of it is this rant that this guy took and put on his song. | ||
| Then he copywrote it. | ||
| He didn't even change the fucking music that my friend Tosh had put on the thing. | ||
| He didn't even change it. | ||
| He just took that chunk, put it in his song, and then said, this is mine. | ||
| It's like the shittiest version of buying a domain name to resell it. | ||
| I own your domain name. | ||
| Like Pepsi Spice? | ||
| Brian owned PepsiSpice.com. | ||
| Do you remember when Pepsi Spice came out? | ||
| It was one of his best pranks ever. | ||
| I swear to God, I thought it was one of the Spice Girls when you said that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I didn't... | |
| No. | ||
| What the fuck is Pepsi Spice? | ||
| Pepsi Spice was this horrendous idea. | ||
| It's like someone decided to like, let's make Pepsi, but spicy. | ||
| Like a spicy Pepsi. | ||
| It was a Thanksgiving Pepsi. | ||
| It's for Thanksgiving. | ||
| Is that still up? | ||
| Is it up anywhere? | ||
| Can you see all that stuff that you did? | ||
| There's pieces of it. | ||
| Goddamn, dude. | ||
| You've got to put that up in a blog. | ||
| I know. | ||
| You should put it up in a blog. | ||
| I think we shot it with a gun. | ||
| Oh, did we when we blew up the hard drives? | ||
| So this is what he did. | ||
| I'll tell you the whole story. | ||
| He took pepsispice.com, he bought the domain name, because this is in like, what was it, like 2000? | ||
| Oh, that was a long time, 10 years ago or something like that. | ||
| It might have been earlier. | ||
| It might have been before FearFest. | ||
| I don't think you were working for me, man. | ||
| No, I was. | ||
| It was right when I moved here. | ||
| Okay, so this is what he did. | ||
| He bought pepsispice.com before they did, and then he started putting up a daily blog about how he's eating nothing but Pepsi Spice, and his health was rapidly deteriorating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In these hysterical, cataclysmic ways. | |
| It was so funny, man. | ||
| We were going to it every day, and the Pepsi Spice people were fucking shitting their pants like, what is this? | ||
| And it was before anyone understood the internet. | ||
| No high-level executives in Pepsi or any of those major corporations, or very few of them, understood the internet. | ||
| If they did, they would have bought pepsispice.com way before they released it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| But they didn't. | ||
| So he puts this fucking blog up about him shitting blood and he's down to 120 pounds down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What were the things that you said? | |
| Do you remember? | ||
| I remember I had open sores everywhere and I was really good at Photoshop back then so no one even knew that there was fake Photoshop as much. | ||
| So I had pictures of me with these big bloody things. | ||
| I was hanging out with Lindsay Lohan snorting Mushrooms. | ||
| It was called Mocaine, where we would crush up mushrooms and snort. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It was so ridiculous. | ||
| Would you write the blog like if you were like the way a Stranded Island diary would read? | ||
| Like day 36. Yeah, I did. | ||
| It was just because it was after that movie supersized me, so I pretty much just made it like this. | ||
| Like the seventh day, I'm starting to cough up a lot of stomach acid and stuff like that. | ||
| And then it just got worse and worse, and I think I ended up dying at the end. | ||
| I never finished it. | ||
| Did they ever buy the domain from you? | ||
| No, I owned it for a while, but then after a while you have a domain that no one even knows what Pepsi Spice is anymore. | ||
| So they never purchased it from you or told you to take it down? | ||
| No, because they stopped selling Pepsi Spice. | ||
| It didn't mean anything. | ||
| Here's some of it. | ||
| I can't read it. | ||
| It's all blurry on that. | ||
| It's about doing Mocaine and then I just finished my last deleter. | ||
| This guy just kept Mocaine for health reasons. | ||
| It was really funny, man. | ||
| That's really great. | ||
| It was really funny, man. | ||
| Oh, I got clogged armpits. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| I couldn't sweat. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| And it was believable. | ||
| Like, nothing was too over the top at first. | ||
| It seemed so normal. | ||
| And then as his journal got deeper and deeper, it got more and more fucked up. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| It was really ridiculous. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| And it was a spicy, it was a holiday spicy, not like a buffalo wings. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, right. | ||
| Spicy, right? | ||
| It was like a cinnamon-y kind of a thing. | ||
| It was like you had too much ginger or something. | ||
| Oh, it was nasty. | ||
| I hate spiced anything. | ||
| I think spiced rum is disgusting. | ||
| Like, if I'm drinking with somebody and they're like, I'll take a Captain and Coke, I'm just like, get out of my face. | ||
| You're a fucking idiot. | ||
| Well, what's that thing that you gave me the other day at the Ice House? | ||
| That super spicy liquor shot that we did? | ||
| What the hell was that? | ||
| Oh, fireball. | ||
| Fireball. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Disgusting. | ||
| I kind of like it. | ||
| It's great because you take one before you hit the road and it helps your breath and everything. | ||
| Yeah, I think so. | ||
| Just keep some in the glove compartment before you get pulled over. | ||
| Hold on a second, officer. | ||
| Yeah, people think that stuff makes your breath taste good, but basically anything that's alcohol makes your breath taste like shit. | ||
| Because once it goes in your stomach, your stomach is like, what is this? | ||
| And that's when the disgusting breath comes up. | ||
| I don't like any of those, like... | ||
| Here's the weird part. | ||
| I love Jägermeister. | ||
| Jägermeister is my favorite shot on the planet Earth. | ||
| Jägerbombs. | ||
| Like the white trash that I truly am. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Jägerbombs are my favorite shot on the planet. | ||
| What do we have here right now, Jamie? | ||
| Please don't say... | ||
| Let's do some shots. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I'm off the booze. | ||
| Are you totally? | ||
| 100%? | ||
| Not forever. | ||
| I have fatty liver right now, so I had to stop drinking. | ||
| All right, we won't do shots. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| You guys can do one, though. | ||
| What's fatty liver? | ||
| All right, Brian and I will do one shot. | ||
| Oh, what? | ||
| Yeah, do one. | ||
| And you want to do one, Jamie? | ||
| All right, Jamie, let's do one shot. | ||
| I'm going to really regret not doing this with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, you won't regret it. | |
| Like, in a week when I fall off the wagon. | ||
| Oh, you should have drank with the guys last week. | ||
| What's fatty liver? | ||
| It means you have fat in your liver. | ||
| How can it happen? | ||
| Probably from drinking and eating poorly for all these years. | ||
| I mean, this was my... | ||
| I'm in the... | ||
| And I'm not in great shape. | ||
| This is the best shape I've ever been in right now. | ||
| Like, what you see... | ||
| Why is it funny? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why are you laughing at the man? | |
| Because he's making progress and Brian's like... | ||
| No, it's hilarious! | ||
| Yeah, this is the best shape I've ever been in, which isn't saying much. | ||
| But, I mean, for years, dude, for years, like, my lifestyle was get completely shit-faced four or five nights a week, go home, and I would do this night after night. | ||
| Get, like, a double meat, cheesesteak, Doritos, chocolate cake, and a soda, and literally lay in my bed wasted eating it and just pass out. | ||
| I would do that night after night after night. | ||
| I smoked... | ||
| You know, it was just, I think after a while, you know, I dabbled in the drugs here and there, you know, I think after a while, just kind of a little bit, a little bit, it catches up, man. | ||
| I'll try some Jameson since it's got a bunch of signatures on it. | ||
| Who signed on that thing? | ||
| Oh, it's Kreischer brought it over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| There you go. | ||
| He writes on the bottle so you know it's getting you hammered. | ||
| New York is kind of like that though, right? | ||
| New York is a place where a lot of people, Ari and I were talking about this last night, people go out after the shows and they drink. | ||
| It's the fucking greatest. | ||
| I miss it, dude. | ||
| It was such an adventure, man. | ||
| It was such an adventure. | ||
| I remember having nights in New York where literally you'd do a set. | ||
| It'd be a Tuesday. | ||
| And you'd do a set. | ||
| You'd finish. | ||
| It'd be like 9.30. | ||
| You'd be like, that's Tuesday. | ||
| There's nothing going on. | ||
| This is done. | ||
| I'm going to go home. | ||
| And then somebody would be like, hey, you know, though, I heard so-and-so might be having a little thing. | ||
| Do you want to just go over real quick and just check out what's happening? | ||
| You know, across the way at the such-and-such bar? | ||
| And you'd go over, and the next thing you know, dude, it's 5 a.m., and there's been, you know, blow and whiskey, and you're wasted, and you're fucking a girl, and it's the greatest, man! | ||
| Fuck, that sounds good. | ||
| It's the greatest! | ||
| I've never even done blow, and I want to do it now. | ||
| You're just like, where did this night come from? | ||
| That never happens in LA. Oh yes, it does. | ||
| You need to hang around the comedy store. | ||
| Are you fucking crazy? | ||
| When does a wild night happen out here? | ||
| You gotta drive goddamn home every night. | ||
| You can't... | ||
| Oh, I see what you're saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, it's a different animal. | ||
| And the bars close at 2. You know, it's... | ||
| It's definitely a different animal. | ||
| But, like, I mean, that was, like, the whole deal about the store was Coke, right? | ||
| I mean, the Kinnison days... | ||
| I talked to Maren again last night, because Maren was at Ari's TV show taping. | ||
| Ari's got a new TV show on Comedy Central called This Is Not Happening. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I know. | ||
| And Maren did a story last night, and him and I talked again about the Kinnison days, about doing blow with Kinnison to the point where he heard voices in his head for a year. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| That's scary. | ||
| He was a young kid. | ||
| He was a young kid hanging out at the store and he was partying with Kinison and working at the store, you know? | ||
| That's the difference between... | ||
| And I'm not trying to shit on LA, but that's the difference between LA drugs and New York drugs. | ||
| New York drugs are like Wolf of Wall Street. | ||
| Hey, it's a fucking party. | ||
| We're at the beach. | ||
| We're going to the Hamptons. | ||
| We're at a bar. | ||
| Go home, pass out, get up, hit your job tomorrow. | ||
| LA drugs, it feels like River Phoenix. | ||
| There's a darkness. | ||
| There's a darkness to it. | ||
| There's something out here that feels much more like stripper, fucking C.C. DeVille, you know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| He pulls out a Poison reference. | ||
| Do you know what I mean, though? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's just something... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| And I'm not doing a New York versus L.A. thing, but like... | ||
| It's different, for sure. | ||
| New York didn't feel like that. | ||
| New York just felt way more just like... | ||
| Like, hey, it's in the neighborhood. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do it. | |
| Hey, fuck it. | ||
| I never lived in the city, so I didn't get that thing out of New York, because when I first moved to New York, I needed a car, because I was doing road gigs, and the only way I could make a living was to do the road. | ||
| I couldn't do the whole 15 shows in a night, like do a seven-minute spot here, and then add up the $10 whatever the fuck you would get from each set, because a lot of, like, Attell used to do that. | ||
| He would do 10, 15 sets a night, all these little seven-minute sets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| And run all over the place and do it and just take cabs and stuff and that was life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But I was getting these road gigs and that was the only way I was paying my money, paying my bills. | ||
| So I lived in New Rochelle. | ||
| So for me, I didn't do that, that whole live in the city, take cabs or take the subway everywhere. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| I could totally get that, though. | ||
| Oh, dude, it was just... | ||
| Yeah, New York, like when you live... | ||
| Because I lived all over New York for nine years. | ||
| I started in Queens, then I was up in Harlem. | ||
| You were in Harlem? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not because of Harlem, just because. | ||
| Talk to daddy. | ||
| What do you want to know? | ||
| I've bagged them all shapes and sizes. | ||
| Powerful John DeRosa. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| The kid's getting around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's your favorite spot to live? | |
| I had a great time in every place I lived. | ||
| My least favorite was Queens, not because of Queens, but I had a fun time in Queens. | ||
| I lived with Jay Oakerson out there, and it was fun. | ||
| He was living with his baby's mother at the time, and they had a kid. | ||
| And I was living with them, which was fine. | ||
| It was actually very nice. | ||
| But we were in a very neighborhood-y, suburban part of Queens. | ||
| There wasn't anything you could walk to or do. | ||
| So that's the only reason I didn't like it. | ||
| Harlem was fun because it was my first time being on the island. | ||
| And it was wild. | ||
| I had these Irish neighbors, and I mean, any night of the week, you just knock on their door, and it's 4 a.m. | ||
| And they're partying. | ||
| Oh, dude, it was nuts. | ||
| How old were they? | ||
| It was fucking crazy. | ||
| The Irish Irish from Ireland? | ||
| And they were crazy. | ||
| They were so crazy. | ||
| Rachel Feinstein, who's one of my close friends, and a really funny comic, and obviously Jewish, I brought her out one night with one of the Irish guys we used to live next door to. | ||
| And I'm like, you're going to love this guy. | ||
| He's great. | ||
| He's nuts. | ||
| And we're hanging out for a while at this bar, and she comes over to me. | ||
| She's like, okay, I'm going to go. | ||
| And I go, why? | ||
| She's like, your Irish friend is telling me that the numbers of the Holocaust were greatly exaggerated. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Is he an Irish from Ireland? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No. | ||
| So, hi, the fucking Jews. | ||
| There's a bunch of lies, a bunch of shite. | ||
| He wasn't saying it like that. | ||
| He wasn't saying it like, you fucking liars. | ||
| There was somehow a strange sense of sympathy in his voice as he was also saying he thought the numbers were exaggerated. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| But the point is that he was just a fucking lunatic. | ||
| There was no filter on his brain. | ||
| He wasn't saying it like, God damn it, I'm sick of hearing about it. | ||
| It was just, shit would just leak out of his mouth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He was saying it like, have you ever really thought about it? | |
| Let's think about it. | ||
| It's like, no, let's not think about it. | ||
| Let's just not talk about it. | ||
| That's one you can't fuck with. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Some dude sent me this fucking email. | ||
| Can you refute this video? | ||
| Whenever someone sends you a YouTube video on anything, you gotta go, okay, is there other shit out there? | ||
| Are there books? | ||
| Have scientists look at this? | ||
| Have scholars studied this? | ||
| You send me a YouTube video. | ||
| I'm gonna listen to it, but since I'm not an expert on the Holocaust, I don't know what The fuck? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| What's wrong in this video? | ||
| But it was like they're talking about how different places couldn't be actually used for gas chambers and it was bullshit. | ||
| They actually... | ||
| A guy ruined his career because of this. | ||
| I watched that documentary. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Dr. Death? | |
| That documentary is amazing. | ||
| Fantastic documentary. | ||
| It's called Dr. Death. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And it's about this guy... | ||
| He was an engineer for these execution devices. | ||
| Holocaust deniers, Holocaust revisionists, whatever you want to call them. | ||
| I don't think they were denying the Holocaust, but they were saying that it was exaggerated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| And this guy went over there, and because of these people, he gave this really fucked up, inaccurate, unscientific assessment of certain famous sites where fucking hundreds of thousands of people documented were murdered. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was saying that it couldn't have happened, and then it just, you know... | ||
| Yeah, he went to court over that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then he lost his family. | ||
| It was his whole life. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was it. | |
| He was devastated. | ||
| That was the end of it. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| You don't want to roll the dice on the Holocaust. | ||
| You know what's fucked, man? | ||
| You know what's fucked? | ||
| There's other holocausts that people don't even know about, like the Armenian Genocide. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I didn't even know about the Armenian Genocide. | ||
| It's a true story until I was in the Octagon interviewing Manny Gamburian. | ||
| And I think you could tell by Manny Gamburian's name, he might be Armenian. | ||
| And Manny's a great MMA fighter, and he's very proud. | ||
| To be from Armenia, and he was talking about the anniversary. | ||
| It was like, he won on the anniversary of the Armenian Genocide. | ||
| He was talking about, like, raising awareness for Armenian Genocide. | ||
| And I was like, I don't even know what this is. | ||
| And then I looked into it. | ||
| It's just fucking horrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Horrible. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I didn't know about that either. | ||
| Embarrassing. | ||
| More than a million dead. | ||
| I mean, it's just a terrible, terrible, terrible story. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I was driving... | ||
| I live on the east side, and I was driving... | ||
| I was writing... | ||
| On a TV show for a little while, and I was driving to work one morning, and I couldn't get to work because there was so much traffic. | ||
| And I was just like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| It's 9.45 a.m. | ||
| on Hollywood Boulevard. | ||
| Why is this so backed up? | ||
| And then I saw people walking around with these shirts on that said, our wounds are still open. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| And I feel like a real... | ||
| I know I'm an asshole before I say this. | ||
| I thought it was some kind of record release thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I was getting so mad, I thought like a rapper was having like a release date. | |
| I was like, what the fuck is going on? | ||
| Our wounds are still open, our mouths are closed, our fingers is moving, I rustle my toes. | ||
| My dick is pretty. | ||
| My teeth is gold. | ||
| You try to buy my album, but the shit's already sold. | ||
| Out. | ||
| Son. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Freestyle. | |
| 2014. Much love. | ||
| Guess what? | ||
| That's not what it was, dude. | ||
| No way. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| It was for the anniversary of the Armenian Genocide because I was driving through Little Armenia and I didn't know. | ||
| And then I got to work and somebody was like, this is what this is. | ||
| And I was like, oh, Jesus. | ||
| I felt so bad, man. | ||
| It's scary shit, man, when you hear about stuff like that. | ||
| And you're like, wait a minute, that was 1915? | ||
| 1915. Armenian civilians escorted by armed Ottoman soldiers are marched through to a prison in nearby Mezrich, present-day Alagurch. | ||
| It's impossible to pronounce. | ||
| 1915. Between a million and 1.5 million people were murdered. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| 24th of April, 1915. Now, do you think the other ones don't get mentioned, like this one, for instance, because they are so small in size compared to the number of deaths with the Jewish Holocaust? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Because Jewish Holocaust is like 6 million. | ||
| This is a 1.5, which it was a ton of people, but I mean... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I wonder if that's why they all get so overshadowed. | ||
| It's a good question. | ||
| That's a lot of fucking people. | ||
| 1.5 million people. | ||
| I can't imagine how it could ever be overshadowed. | ||
| I'm ashamed that I learned about it while I was talking to somebody. | ||
| Yeah, well, that's why I asked the question, because it's like, I can't justify in my head how something like that would get overshadowed, other than, I guess, maybe this other one was so much bigger. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe it's because the Jews control the media, Joe DeRose. | |
| They know how to spread a story. | ||
| It's kind of like when, like... | ||
| You know, when Farrah Fawcett died, but then Michael Jackson died on the same day. | ||
| He got all the press. | ||
| They died on the same day? | ||
| They died on the same day, and Farrah Fawcett got nothing. | ||
| Remember that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Poor Farrah. | |
| I know it's a trite parallel to draw. | ||
| She didn't even fuck any kids, allegedly. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm not convinced he did still. | ||
| I'm still not convinced he did. | ||
| I have a theory. | ||
| It's a very bad theory. | ||
| I'm going to tell you right now. | ||
| If you're Joe Rogan's a moron, I agree with you. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I'm on your side. | ||
| I think I'm a moron too. | ||
| But I think there's a possibility that he might have been what they call a castrata. | ||
| Do you know what a castrata is? | ||
| No. | ||
| Castrata music, I think I'm saying it right, is a type of music where they would castrate young boys. | ||
| And they would castrate young boys so that they would sing this incredible pitch that didn't sound manly at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's very bizarre. | |
| It's very freaky. | ||
| You can hear it online. | ||
| Haven't we played it on the podcast before? | ||
| Let's play some of it just for DeRosa, because he's never heard it before. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| But... | ||
| There's a style of music that was created by castrating boys. | ||
| Because when you remove their testicles, they don't produce testosterone. | ||
| And they have this weird sort of, you know, it's this androgynous sort of sound to their voice. | ||
| And it's feminine, but like a little bit masculine. | ||
| And it's very similar to how Michael Jackson is. | ||
| Have you seen Michael Jackson's brothers? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They look manly as fuck. | ||
| And they sound manly. | ||
| Yeah, they sound manly. | ||
| He stayed really slender. | ||
| He stayed like a guy who had no testosterone. | ||
| He didn't look like a man who had testosterone. | ||
| He was really slender. | ||
| I think this is a great theory. | ||
| It's not a bad theory. | ||
| I think it might have happened to me, by the way. | ||
| Well, it's also the thing about these men, or they're men now, but they say that they were molested by Michael Jackson. | ||
| No one says he fucked them. | ||
| No. | ||
| It was all like weird touching stuff. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I don't think there was anything going on there. | ||
| I think that's why he longed for childhood. | ||
| I mean, it's a terrible theory. | ||
| Again, I'll tell you right now, it's not backed by any facts. | ||
| I don't think it's a terrible theory. | ||
| But listen, this is a castrata. | ||
| This is a long time ago, by the way. | ||
| This is like, was it early 1900s? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| These recordings, I mean, they don't do this anymore, unless I don't know about it. | ||
| But... | ||
| There's something to Michael Jackson's voice when you listen to the way he would sing that, fuck man, that doesn't sound like any guy I've ever heard. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| It's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Why? | ||
| Tell him that it's human nature. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Does she do it that way? | |
| I tried to do Thriller once at karaoke and I almost did a fucking aneurysm. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so high. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so... | ||
| Like, you can't... | ||
| Try to sing it. | ||
| Try to sing the chorus. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because it's a trigger! | |
| No, without... | ||
|
unidentified
|
But do it without doing the falsetto. | |
| I can't. | ||
| You didn't sing it in falsetto. | ||
| Just try. | ||
| I can't fucking sing anyway. | ||
| Okay, this is terrible. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because this is Thrill of Night, and now I'm gonna save you from the pizza. | |
| Yeah, you're doing falsetto. | ||
| Well, I can't do anything else. | ||
| I can't sing. | ||
| It's impossible. | ||
| It's impossible to hit those notes. | ||
| Dude, it's past Geddy Lee. | ||
| It's like way past Geddy Lee. | ||
| Well, Geddy Lee, who I love, still sounds like an odd man. | ||
| I love Rush, but when you listen to Living in the Limelight, when he's singing that song, he sounds like an odd man. | ||
| It doesn't sound like something that can't be achieved. | ||
| When you hear Michael Jackson sing, you go, something's going on here, and I can't fucking put my finger on it. | ||
| It's not male. | ||
| No, yeah. | ||
| It sounds womanly. | ||
| Well, I mean, it's... | ||
| And that's forever been the joke about him. | ||
| Well, I think there might be something to my stupid theory. | ||
| And I think it's because I have this connection with... | ||
| I have this, like, weird thing about him. | ||
| Because I've always wanted to know, like, what makes a person want to stay a child? | ||
| Because I've always been accused... | ||
| Rightly so, of being immature. | ||
| I'm very immature, but almost on purpose. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because when I grew up, I saw these people that were mature, that were living these mature lives, and they were fucking miserable, man. | ||
| They suffered all day. | ||
| There was no reward. | ||
| They came home to a wife they hated. | ||
| They lived a shit life, and a lot of them died young. | ||
| I saw it in front of me. | ||
| I didn't want to do this. | ||
| I tried to figure out every way I could to rebel against work. | ||
| And... | ||
| I remember seeing like this guy and seeing Michael Jackson how brilliant he was but how odd it was and how he always had like these amusement park rides at his house and he invited little kids over and I'm like what was wrong? | ||
| It's beautiful that the guy wanted to help kids. | ||
| It's beautiful that the guy always worked with these people that were sick and these kids that were dying. | ||
| It is beautiful. | ||
| But what was it that connected him so much to childlike things? | ||
| Like, why was he so childlike? | ||
| Why did he never have... | ||
| I mean, he had children, but they weren't really his children. | ||
| They were white kids. | ||
| They're fully white kids. | ||
| If you look at them today, you can say, well, these didn't come from his DNA. They might have been his children, but... | ||
| Yeah, it's very odd. | ||
| It's very odd also how much his children are out of... | ||
| The limelight. | ||
| There's no connection with them to Michael Jackson. | ||
| No, none. | ||
| None whatsoever. | ||
| Which is good. | ||
| I mean, they're just kids. | ||
| They don't deserve it. | ||
| I do think it is good, but even with other celebrities that attempted to keep the kid out of the spotlight, like Eminem doesn't, aside from talking about her, doesn't put his daughter out there. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he's like staunchly opposed to it, yet we all kind of know what she looks like. | ||
| We all know who she is, like if you saw her. | ||
| The same thing with the Cobain and Courtney Love's kid. | ||
| But Michael Jackson, it's like, I couldn't pick those kids out of a fucking lineup. | ||
| Well, that's good. | ||
| I hope that that's because the family sheltered the kids from all the crazy people. | ||
| I mean, you want to talk crazy people? | ||
| Michael Jackson was a star on a level that we can't even begin to comprehend. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No. | ||
| I mean, this is a guy who couldn't leave the fucking house. | ||
| If he left the fucking house, there would be a swarm of people. | ||
| Yeah, you know, I met a girl... | ||
| Jamie! | ||
| One more round, sir. | ||
| Let's do this again. | ||
| Yes, Brian, you're going in. | ||
| Don't be a pussy. | ||
| I knew a girl that knew Britney Spears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Like, in recent years, I mean. | ||
| And... | ||
| I was like, what's she like? | ||
| And she goes, she's really down to earth. | ||
| She goes, she's really cool considering especially who she is. | ||
| And she was like, dude, she literally can't go anywhere in the entire world without being known. | ||
| Like, I can't even fathom that. | ||
| Stanhope is buddies with Johnny Depp. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Johnny Depp's a Stanhope fan. | ||
| Johnny Depp contacted Stanhope about some project and got together and started hanging out with him in England. | ||
| And he realized when they were hanging out, he goes, oh, he can't go anywhere. | ||
| Like, he can't go anywhere. | ||
| He doesn't go anywhere. | ||
| He brings a chef over to his home. | ||
| When he was over at his house, not Keith Richards, who's in the Rolling Stones? | ||
| Keith Richards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mick Jagger? | |
| Mick Jagger, the other one. | ||
| Who's the other one? | ||
| Ron. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Who the fuck is in the Rolling Stones? | ||
| Who's the other guy? | ||
| Ron Wood? | ||
| Is that his name? | ||
| Shit, what are we retarded? | ||
| How do we not know who's in the Rolling Stones? | ||
| I'm trying to remember the drummer's name and I can't remember his name. | ||
| Yeah, I'm trying to... | ||
| Okay, Rolling Stones. | ||
| Who the fuck is in the Rolling Stones? | ||
| God, isn't that funny? | ||
| You only remember Keith Richards. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was there for a big Stones guy, so I dare you. | |
| How dare the both of you? | ||
| I love the logo, though, with the lips or the tongue or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Even on their website, they just expect you to know who the fuck everybody is. | ||
| Yeah, back in the day, that was sexual as a kid growing up. | ||
| You're a weird kid, man. | ||
| I think the logos would stop me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| The logo's where it stopped for me. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I should shut the fuck up right here because I probably shouldn't even say what happened. | ||
| I was about... | ||
| It's probably good. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Ron Wood. | ||
| That is his name. | ||
| Anyway, the point is that we're all hanging out and Stan Hope realized, oh, Johnny Depp is too famous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| He's gotten way too famous. | ||
| And apparently it was from those Pirates of the Caribbean movies. | ||
| From there on out, there's no more going to restaurants. | ||
| Dude, when Chappelle came back from Africa, when he went... | ||
| He ran off from the TV show and everything. | ||
| When he came back, he went on this tour, and I toured with him. | ||
| And I know Dave isn't Johnny Depp, but he's pretty fucking famous. | ||
| It was crazy, man, because we were doing these shows, and I was opening for him for like two weeks, and he'd literally just be like, want to go to the mall, man? | ||
| And I'd be like, yeah, let's go. | ||
| And he'd be like, alright, let's go. | ||
| And literally, I would walk to the mall with Dave Chappelle. | ||
| No security, nothing. | ||
| And cars were screeching in the fucking streets. | ||
| People were jumping out of their cars. | ||
| They were running up to... | ||
| We went to a footlocker in the mall. | ||
| We had to leave through the back exit because so many people were flooding in because he was... | ||
| And the worst part was we went, a pack of people followed us to the hotel. | ||
| Followed him. | ||
| I was just there. | ||
| But a pack of people, like fucking dogs, followed him to the hotel. | ||
| And they're all going, I'm Rich James, bitch! | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| White dudes with backwards baseball hats on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, it was a lot of fat white guys, I remember. | ||
| And... | ||
| And they followed us. | ||
| There was like 30 people. | ||
| I'm not exaggerating. | ||
| We got to the hotel. | ||
| The concierge at the hotel had to literally hold the people back so we could get onto the elevator. | ||
| And as the doors were shutting, a guy got around the concierge and ran up and literally put his phone almost against Chappelle's face and goes, Say something funny. | ||
| My friend's on the phone. | ||
| Say something funny. | ||
| And Dave just kind of stared at this guy. | ||
| And we got in the elevator and the doors shut. | ||
| And I go, Dude... | ||
| I don't know how you didn't just lay that dude out, man. | ||
| That was like the rudest thing I've ever seen anybody do to a person. | ||
| And he was just like, what are you gonna do, man? | ||
| That's why he was high all the time. | ||
| That's why you need to stay high when you're that famous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| All day. | ||
| But he gave me the best advice ever that I ever got in comedy. | ||
| And I talk about this in my act a little bit. | ||
| I tell the story, but... | ||
| We did a show one night in Cleveland at this big amphitheater. | ||
| And after the show, I'm talking to these two girls. | ||
| And they're like, you're so funny. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And I'm like, why don't you come back to the hotel? | |
| Come hang out. | ||
| Dave might stop by. | ||
| Oh, did you say that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yuck. | |
| Yeah, I was trying to pick up these chicks. | ||
| He actually was going to stop by, though. | ||
| But imagine if you were in the middle of bonin' her, and she heard Dave's voice, and she's like, get off me! | ||
| Yeah, exactly! | ||
| Imagine if he's cock-blocking you by standing in the living room, I'm Rick James, bitch! | ||
| Oh my god, is that him? | ||
| Get out of me! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get out of me! | |
| I need to meet him! | ||
| He's not going anywhere. | ||
| I'll come in 30 seconds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| He was an awesome... | ||
| No, rape! | ||
| He was an awesome wingman, because he's married, and he was a great dude about it. | ||
| He would sit there and talk to you with the chicks, and then he'd peel off, and then you'd be there with the chicks, man. | ||
| It was fucking beautiful. | ||
| And the chicks would go, you must be special. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Well, they also just saw you open for... | ||
| Dude, it was... | ||
|
unidentified
|
So... | |
| Oh, look at you. | ||
| You're glowing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, dude. | |
| It was really... | ||
| It was nice. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's so happy. | |
| It was nice. | ||
| It was really nice. | ||
| So I was talking to these two girls after one of the shows in Cleveland, and I'm like, come back to the hotel, and they're being wishy-washy. | ||
| And I'm like, all right, whatever. | ||
| And they take my number, and I go backstage. | ||
| And I'm bitching to Dave and the tour bus driver about these chicks. | ||
| And I'm like, you know, they're fucking just being on wishy-washy, and I don't know this, and it's just annoying. | ||
| Just fucking hang out if you're gonna hang out. | ||
| And the bus driver goes, Joe, I'm gonna tell you what you need to do, man. | ||
| You need to walk up to that girl, look her dead in the eye, and say, do you want to suck my dick or not? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Terrible advice. | ||
| I was like, okay. | ||
| And I was considering it for a second. | ||
| And then Chappelle goes, don't do that shit, man. | ||
| Don't do it. | ||
| You're going to fuck around, Joe. | ||
| You're going to get famous one of these days. | ||
| Ten years from now, that bitch will be on hard copy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Joe DeRosa told me to suck his dick in Cleveland once! | |
| Well, the reality is, even if that didn't happen, there's going to be a girl, if you get famous, that just remembers a story that never happened at all about Joe DeRosa telling her to suck your cock. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I've had fucking people tell me stories about me that absolutely didn't exist. | ||
| That never happened. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I had fucking on the podcast. | ||
| Remember Crash was telling a story about a fight in New York that never took place. | ||
| About how I told this guy, can you handle that guy? | ||
| I'll take the other two. | ||
| And I went over and kicked some guy in the head. | ||
| Never happened. | ||
| None of it happened. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| And he was like arguing with me that it happened. | ||
| I'm like, dude, I am telling you. | ||
| I haven't fought anybody since... | ||
| I haven't had a street fight since I was in high school. | ||
| I've avoided every single physical altercation outside of competition since high school. | ||
| So this never happened. | ||
| It's impossible that it happened. | ||
| That's a great rumor, though. | ||
| It makes you sound like a killer. | ||
| No! | ||
| It makes me sound like an asshole. | ||
| I don't think it makes you sound like an asshole. | ||
| It totally makes me sound like an asshole. | ||
| Listen, whenever you see a bunch of people and you're like, can you take that guy? | ||
| Why wouldn't you just turn around and get the fuck out of there? | ||
| That's the smart move. | ||
| The smart guy walks out of there. | ||
| See, I'm a little fucking wisp of grasp that can't fight at all. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wisp of grasp? | |
| That's the most fucking, the weakest thing you could ever be on Stand Up Straight. | ||
| That's such a funny descriptive. | ||
| A wisp of grass. | ||
| I remember seeing a tell once on stage, and there were three fat girls in the front row. | ||
| Or no, I think it was two thin girls and a fat girl in the middle. | ||
| And I don't remember why he said this to the fat girl, but it was something about how she didn't think she was fat. | ||
| And he goes, oh, I know, right? | ||
| Look at you, sitting there like a little blade of grass. | ||
| A little blade of grass. | ||
| I think he's fat shaming. | ||
| That's outlawed now. | ||
| That's not cool, guys. | ||
| On the internet, fat shaming is fucking male hypocrisy slash patriarchy slash privilege slash keep going. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So I would love a story like that. | |
| My point is I'm a pussy. | ||
| I would love to be in a situation where I literally go... | ||
| I can take this guy. | ||
| Can you take that guy? | ||
| I would just never be in that situation. | ||
| Why do people make stuff up like that? | ||
| Things that never happened. | ||
| I had a guy come up to me at a party and he goes, Mike Dennis played golf with you. | ||
| And I go, no, no, it wasn't me. | ||
| He goes, oh yeah, you're the guy from Fear Factor. | ||
| My dad has played golf with you. | ||
| I go, dude, I've never played golf, ever. | ||
| In my whole life, I've never played golf. | ||
| It's probably that other Rogan, that sports newscaster, and it's just like... | ||
| Probably. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He probably plays golf, Fred Rogan. | ||
| Fred Rogan, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, maybe. | ||
| It might be. | ||
| But he was insisting. | ||
| It was the Fear Factor guy. | ||
| He was insisting. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know, man. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If I ever reach your level, like... | ||
| I'll be able to relate to these stories. | ||
| I wish I had rumors floating around about me. | ||
| I got nothing going on right now. | ||
| There's rumors from high school that never happened. | ||
| I talked to a friend who knew a friend of mine from high school. | ||
| Things that never happened. | ||
| Like what? | ||
| Just violent things. | ||
| Mostly violent things. | ||
| Were you always this guy? | ||
| Like a cut fucking MMA type dude? | ||
| Well, from high school on, I did martial arts. | ||
| Like, pretty religiously. | ||
| That was my whole life. | ||
| From like 15 on. | ||
| Am I crazy? | ||
| Because I remember when I would see you on news radio. | ||
| I don't remember you being jacked like this, though. | ||
| Were you cut up like that back then? | ||
| Yeah, there was whole videos of me taking my shirt off. | ||
| I had to wrestle Andy Dick once, and fucking remember that? | ||
| You'd probably find that. | ||
| Yeah, I wasn't as big. | ||
| I didn't really lift weights until I started doing jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And I started doing jiu-jitsu in 96. | ||
| So that was when I started lifting weights. | ||
| And I started hanging out with Eddie Bravo, my good friend Eddie Bravo, my best friend. | ||
| Like around 99, 2000, somewhere around then. | ||
| And we started lifting weights pretty seriously right after that because I started really getting into jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And one of the things about jiu-jitsu is just protecting your joints and protecting your back and protecting your neck and all these different parts of your body. | ||
| And that adding muscle to your body keeps you from getting injured. | ||
| It's kind of important. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And also, it gives you more strength to execute moves. | ||
| It's just like... | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu is a very, very grueling activity, and the stronger you are... | ||
| I mean, it's most important to be technical, to understand the technique, but the stronger you are, the better. | ||
| So I started lifting weights pretty seriously around then. | ||
| So this is me when I didn't even lift weights. | ||
| This was like... | ||
| Was this from the show? | ||
| This is from news radio, yeah. | ||
| I like how I asked that. | ||
| No, it's a real match between you and Andy Dick. | ||
| That's what I looked like with no weightlifting at all. | ||
| Oh, that was just kickboxing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| That was pretty good. | ||
| Yeah, but then you tickle... | ||
| You tickle his name and kicks my ass. | ||
| Fights like I would. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I was just about to say the same thing to you, Joe. | |
| Alright, dude. | ||
| That's it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it is it. | |
| No! | ||
| So stupid. | ||
| Shut it up now. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| I like that show. | ||
| Yeah, that was like probably 1990. Phil was alive, so it was before 90... | ||
| I think he was murdered in 98. So before that, it was probably 97, 96. There was no lifting weights back then. | ||
| It was just kickboxing. | ||
| Jesus, man. | ||
| You were ripped, dude. | ||
| You still are. | ||
| You want to talk about it? | ||
| Take your pants off. | ||
| I got nothing to add to it. | ||
| It's nothing I have anything to say about. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| I don't mean that in a derogatory way. | ||
| No, I understand. | ||
| I went down a different path. | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| I have friends that do extreme sports. | ||
| They jump bikes and shit like that, motorbikes and stuff like that, and do flips, and they're all busted up. | ||
| I know this dude, Eric Apple, his wrist is... | ||
| He broke his wrist so bad, it's like an inch shorter. | ||
| He's had all the ligaments, and he went on from that to do MMA fighting. | ||
| Just crazy. | ||
| Crazy people. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| But that's how... | ||
| He grew up. | ||
| I literally grew up doing martial arts competitions. | ||
| It made me a way more balanced person, if that makes any sense. | ||
| I would have worked way more fucked up. | ||
| Given my circumstances, I needed something to throw all my energy in. | ||
| I just had so much angst and anxiety and insecurity. | ||
| I needed something, and I found it in martial arts. | ||
| But it just happened to be... | ||
| The thing for me at that time. | ||
| So that's why. | ||
| It makes perfect sense. | ||
| It's not for everybody. | ||
| It can help you though if you're looking for something to do to give you some physical exercise and also it gives you a kind of understanding of your body and fear. | ||
| I wish I had been pushed in that direction at a young age because I'm too old for it now. | ||
| How old are you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm 37. You're not too old for it. | |
| My friend's dad started doing jiu-jitsu when he was 57. Really? | ||
| He got his black belt. | ||
| I think he was like 65 or 66. He got his black belt. | ||
| Maybe I should, I don't know. | ||
| I have such terrible anxiety and angst issues still, and yeah, I'm in therapy for it and stuff. | ||
| What's the main, if you want to talk about this, do you have a main fear, a thing that fucks with you? | ||
| My fear of death is pretty... | ||
| It's tremendous. | ||
| Pretty tremendous and extremely irrational. | ||
| It's almost crippling. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's almost crippling. | |
| Wow. | ||
| Have you done any psychedelics, like heavy doses of mushrooms or heavy doses of... | ||
| Yeah? | ||
| I don't know what heavy doses are, but I took my share of mushrooms and acid through the years. | ||
| Open your hand and show me what's the biggest dose you've ever taken. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, like... | |
| No, that's not good enough, son. | ||
| You're showing me a little tiny, like, quarter size. | ||
| You know, I remember tripping for, like, 11, 12 hours on acid, like, stuff like that. | ||
| Well, I don't have any experience with acid, but I do have experience with mushrooms, and my experience is that there's a big difference between, like, a couple caps and stems and a fucking handful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| It's a handful. | ||
| You want, like, five grams. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you do, like, those big trips... | ||
| That's when you just go, it just obliterates your ego. | ||
| And you go just deep into the realm of perception and of understanding your position in this great thing that you see in front of you and how much your position in this great thing, this great thing being the entire universe itself, how much of your position is distorted by your own ability To recognize your surroundings and your need to survive. | ||
| And then your ego, which comes into place and wants you to get laid, wants you to be fed, wants you to stay alive and competitive. | ||
| Like all those variables, they fuck with your ability to understand the true nature of reality. | ||
| And sometimes a real ego obliterating experience is what you need just to kind of put it in place. | ||
| See, the problem is now for me, I had some brushes with that. | ||
| In my time that I would do these heavier psychedelics. | ||
| But my problem is now is that my anxiety is such an issue that I wouldn't be able to handle it. | ||
| I can't even handle pot now. | ||
| I mean, if I went into a hard trip like that, I would start freaking out. | ||
| I turned too inward. | ||
| I'm a pretty... | ||
| I'm a lethargic guy, so I've always been more of a fan of stimulants than barbiturates and depressants, which is what eventually pulled me away from marijuana, because my problem with marijuana is I'll smoke it, and I go deep into my head, and it's bad. | ||
| If I had smoked any weed before I came in here today, I would be panicking right now. | ||
| Right now. | ||
| Because I feel a general anxiety just being here. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why? | ||
| What is the general anxiety? | ||
| Just any time you're talking to people or that you're online? | ||
| I definitely have self-esteem issues and issues about my own achievement. | ||
| Worth so when I do something like this for the first time I'm the first few times I Am nervous because I'm like don't fuck it up. | ||
| Don't fuck this up. | ||
| This is a guy you don't know and You know, because I don't really know you, you know what I mean? | ||
| We know each other kind of, but we're like, I mean, I consider you like a comrade, a colleague, a fellow comic. | ||
| Every comic that I know that's a comic, like, you get sanctioned by Jimmy Norton or any of those guys, you're in. | ||
| You can stay at my house. | ||
| I don't even know you, but if you want to stay at my house, you can stay at my house. | ||
| That's how I feel. | ||
| Thank you, and I honestly feel the same way about you, and not because I've known you from TV for longer than we've known each other personally. | ||
| I feel the same way. | ||
| I feel like we're part of a fraternity, and not just because of comedy, but it's a little more specified for us, I think, because we're part of the ONA camp. | ||
| And, you know, that's a special camp. | ||
| It was a special camp to be a part of. | ||
| It still is. | ||
| I don't know if they're ever going to sort that out, but it's not the same. | ||
| I love Jimmy, and I love Opie, and they're great together, and I listen to it all the time, but goddammit, I miss Anthony. | ||
| It is a bummer. | ||
| It's a real bummer. | ||
| You know, that's a... | ||
| Well, let me answer your question. | ||
| Yeah, answer the first question. | ||
| We'll get back to that. | ||
| But so I feel like, you know, everything I do, for instance, right now in LA, and trust me, it's not a terrible anxiety right now. | ||
| I was excited about this, too. | ||
| Like, a lot of it is just excitement and interpreting the excitement. | ||
| But, you know, I'm doing a part on a TV show right now that's... | ||
| Looks like it might last for a little while. | ||
| I don't know yet because it's sort of episode to episode. | ||
| With something like that, every time I do it, I'm like, don't fuck this up, dude. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And that's what I do. | ||
| And it's terrible. | ||
| It's a terrible, terrible anxiety. | ||
| It doesn't prevent me from performing. | ||
| It doesn't prevent me from delivering. | ||
| But it's there. | ||
| And it's the kind of thing where if something does go wrong, I have a very hard time just leaving it behind me and going, it was a bad day at work, dude. | ||
| Let it go. | ||
| You know, I did a charity event last night. | ||
| And it wasn't a great show. | ||
| And this was a huge step for me today. | ||
| I woke up with anxiety about it at 4.30 in the morning. | ||
| Why'd you do this bit? | ||
| Why'd you do that bit? | ||
| And I was just like, dude, you didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| You just weren't the best choice for that gig. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| You didn't do anything wrong. | ||
| And I think most people go down that road first. | ||
| And my whole life, I've never gone down that road first. | ||
| I go down the blaming myself road first. | ||
| Well, let me be honest with you then. | ||
| I've had shows where I had a great set for 90 minutes and I'll close badly or fuck up something and I can't sleep. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm just in a hurricane. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A hurricane of anguish and being upset. | ||
| But I think that's because I care. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's because I care. | ||
| It's because I don't want anybody leaving a show ever and feeling like, eh, I don't ever want... | ||
| I know they paid money. | ||
| That drives me fucking crazy. | ||
| It's horrible. | ||
| I know they got babysitters. | ||
| They planned it out. | ||
| They saved their money for that. | ||
| You know, I don't want anyone to ever think that I ever take that for granted because that would drive me fucking crazy. | ||
| If I went to see someone and I knew they didn't give a shit and they took it for granted, that's one of the worst things a performer can ever do with their audience. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Disrespect their audience. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I brought this up before, but I'll bring it up again. | ||
| It's what I call the Joe DiMaggio principle. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Because I remember this quote when I was a kid. | ||
| Joe DiMaggio was like 40 years old, sliding into third base. | ||
| And the guy on the other team goes, you know, why are you playing so hard? | ||
| You're already in the Hall of Fame. | ||
| And he goes, because someone out there is someone in the audience that hasn't seen Joe DiMaggio play. | ||
| And I don't want to let him down. | ||
| That's so great. | ||
| Laurie Kilmartin said once to me, years ago, I was opening for her in Philadelphia. | ||
| And I said, how do you... | ||
| How do you manage to go out and show the same enthusiasm every set? | ||
| Because I noticed throughout the weekend that she was doing that, and I was having a hard time with that at that point in my career. | ||
| And she said, just think about it. | ||
| She's like, you're a fan of comedy. | ||
| Haven't you ever seen a comedian that makes you laugh so hard you want to follow over? | ||
| And I go, yeah. | ||
| And she goes, there's a chance somebody in the audience, that's going to happen because of you tonight. | ||
| So you should always have that in your head, and that's the DiMaggio thing you just said. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's a lot of times just a perception issue, like how you deal with things. | ||
| I had a friend that came up to me once. | ||
| We were in Vegas, and I brought him to some fights, and after the fights, It gets pretty fucking crazy. | ||
| There's 18,000 people there, and you try to wake your way through the casino, good luck. | ||
| You're going to get stopped every five seconds. | ||
| And he was like, does it get annoying? | ||
| I go, well, there's certain times where I have things that I have to do, where I have to leave, like I have to go to a show, or I have to meet someone for dinner. | ||
| I mean, I have to be there by X amount of time. | ||
| I just have to say no. | ||
| But for the most part, it's just a bunch of people being nice. | ||
| But my attitude about it is always that every time I meet someone, I reset. | ||
| Because it's like, I don't ever think of it as like, oh, here's another person, here's another person. | ||
| Every time I meet someone, I reset. | ||
| So it's a total new experience because I know it's a new experience for them. | ||
| And if I don't accept that, I can't always say yes. | ||
| I can't always call your friend. | ||
| I can't always fucking take pictures. | ||
| I have to go sometimes. | ||
| Sometimes it's unavoidable. | ||
| There's 100 people and you've got to be out of there because you're supposed to be somewhere in five minutes. | ||
| I can't be late for a show. | ||
| I can't be late for an interview or an appearance that I have to do or whatever the fuck that's... | ||
| Yeah, no, and I think that reset mentality is great. | ||
| Like, you know, when I first started doing ONA, Burr told me years ago, he was like, listen, here's what you do. | ||
| He goes, you're doing the show now. | ||
| Guys are going to start coming out to see you. | ||
| You sell your merch, you shake everybody's hand, and just talk. | ||
| He goes, you know, sometimes you can't spend a lot of time with everybody, but talk to everybody, say hello. | ||
| And he was like, and that's what you do, dude. | ||
| And not that I would have done any different, but him saying that really cemented it into my head. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| Yeah, and I've seen him do it, and I've always done it. | ||
| If there are fucking two people in the audience that wanted to see me, And it was the shittiest show of all time because there were 98 that didn't give a fuck about who I was and heckling or whatever. | ||
| I spent time with those two guys and talked to them. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And I talked to them like... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like I'm talking to you. | ||
| Yeah, that's how it should be. | ||
| Burr said once something that I thought was really cool. | ||
| He said, we were just talking about how everything's going really well for him and he's real happy. | ||
| And he says, you know, I remember when I was a kid and I'd go to see a band and then the new song sucked and I just wasn't into it. | ||
| They put on a bad show and I felt like they fucked me. | ||
| And he goes, and I know that if people come out to see me, they're fans, and I'm not going to fuck them. | ||
| I'm not going to fuck him. | ||
| I'm going to write hard. | ||
| I'm going to work hard. | ||
| I'm going to get out there and give it my best. | ||
| I don't want to fuck him. | ||
| That's a great attitude. | ||
| It is. | ||
| It is. | ||
| I mean, he works so hard, and he delivers to his fans what they deserve. | ||
| I think everybody... | ||
| I think everybody, many comics do that, but I think, again, what was always special to me about, or one of the things that was always special to me about being part of that ONA fraternity was that those comics all did that. | ||
| Everybody delivered. | ||
| Everybody had the mentality of, it's a new year, I have to go back to that city again, I better have a new hour. | ||
| Or it better be the much, much better version of last year's hour. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, because I'm about to tape it. | ||
| Or whatever it is. | ||
| You know, but... | ||
| And it was... | ||
| Patrice was like that, obviously. | ||
| Norton, Louis, obviously. | ||
| You know, like these guys, you know, burr. | ||
| Like, that's what they all did, you know? | ||
| One of the great things about the Opie and Anthony show was that it was a hangout. | ||
| Even if Ricky Gervais came on or some big star came on, if you and I were on the show, we would still be on the show. | ||
| And he would sit in there, and everybody knew to lay back and let someone talk, or occasionally everybody would jump in. | ||
| I mean, it was completely free form. | ||
| And because of that, there was a lot of ball busting. | ||
| Like when Bobby Kelly's on, the guy gets fucking tortured. | ||
| When Voss is on, he gets tortured. | ||
| And because of that, getting tortured, everybody has to mind their P's and Q's and be on the ball. | ||
| You've got to cover all your bases. | ||
| It's the snake pit, man. | ||
| Yeah, whereas if you do a lot of other radio shows, even big shows, it's one guest at a time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you don't get tossed into that sort of comedy cellar table sort of scenario or the parking lot at the store or the bar at the improv. | ||
| There's that... | ||
| I always said when you went on ONA and it was a packed room, you know, when you walked in and it was DiPaolo, Bobby, you know, or Burr and Patrice or whoever, when it was a packed room on ONA, I always said it was like getting dropped into the, it was like in Raiders of the Lost Ark when he hits the ground in that fucking snake pit. | ||
| And it's just like, you better like have your torch up and be ready because they are coming at you from every fucking direction. | ||
| Snakes. | ||
| I hate snakes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Asps, very dangerous. | ||
| But it was also just fun. | ||
| You know, it's like exciting to be in that room with Voss and Norton and everybody's like, everyone's, you know, Norton says something funny and Voss will say something funny and everybody's like chiming in and laughing and it's just, it's so exciting. | ||
| It was, it was. | ||
| Those times were the... | ||
| Hardest times I've ever laughed in my life, and I remember when I would have stints where I would quit drinking for a while, and I'd say like, how the fuck am I going to have fun if I'm not going out drinking? | ||
| You know? | ||
| I would go, oh, that's right, I laughed the hardest I ever did in my entire life at 6.45 in the morning the other day. | ||
| Dead sober. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because I was on Opie and Anthony. | ||
| Eating a bagel. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, watching Bobo pull his fucking pubes out, or whatever. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, literally crying, laughing, like, until you couldn't breathe. | ||
| You know, so it's like, I was like, okay, it's possible. | ||
| It's possible to have sober fun, obviously. | ||
| Well, hanging out with comedians, I mean, that's the one thing, me and Stan Hope were talking once, and he said, I could quit comedy, but I could never quit hanging out with comics. | ||
| Ha ha! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha ha ha! | |
| That's a great way to put it. | ||
| Yeah, we were just laughing and fucking around, and we were just being ridiculous and making each other howl. | ||
| And we were just both shaking our head, and he goes, I could never stop hanging out with comics. | ||
| Oh, that's great. | ||
| You know, like, he goes, I don't fucking quit comedy. | ||
| I could quit comedy. | ||
| I could just stop performing. | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I could just fucking smoke cigarettes and drink beer and watch football. | |
| I could do that. | ||
| He goes, but I don't want to stop hanging out with comedians. | ||
| Because it's like, I think a guy like Stanhope also, you get to a point where you realize, I mean, yeah, it's fun to do shows, and yeah, but nothing's going to change. | ||
| You're not going to... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And the best thing about hanging out with comics to me is like... | ||
| It's like the rings of hell. | ||
| Because there's hanging out with comedians. | ||
| Then there's hanging out with the comedians that are, you know, that are in. | ||
| That are the real comics, not just general comedians that are the pro guys or whatever, and girls. | ||
| Then it's the ring below that, which is like, these are the pros that are fucking cool. | ||
| You know, that aren't egomaniacs. | ||
| Then there's the ring under that where it's like, these are the pros that are ready to trash anything you want to talk about. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, everybody on the other three levels would scoff at what we're about to say. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| But we'll go after anything down here on this little ring. | ||
| And it's the best. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's the best, you know? | ||
| Well, there's an art form to saying fucked up shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that you don't even necessarily really mean. | ||
| But especially when a bunch of comics are getting together and they're vibing off of each other, there's that thing that we do where I'll try to say something. | ||
| Like, Tony, the other day, what the fuck did he say about Joan Rivers when Joan Rivers died? | ||
| He's... | ||
| Oh, if you hurry up, you can still get in bed with her. | ||
| I was supposed to do In Bed with Joan. | ||
| It was like she was doing a podcast where she would do it from her bed. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I was scheduled to do it, and it got moved around, and I was waiting to reschedule it, and then she died. | ||
| And it made me sad because I was a huge fan. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| And Tony Hinchcliffe goes, if you hurry up, you can still get in bed with her. | ||
| It's not too late. | ||
| She probably hasn't started rotting yet. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| I don't think he said that, but I do. | ||
| But you can't say that in normal company, but amongst comedians, you know, to me it made me feel good that he said that. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| Yeah, it's hilarious. | ||
| Yeah, like Ari and I were talking last night, we went to Cantor's Deli late after his thing, and we were driving home, and He was talking about how he thinks it's good to interact with regular people. | ||
| Because he goes, I don't talk to anybody that's a comedian, and I think I'm not getting a balanced perspective. | ||
| And he was like, you know, you do this sports commentary stuff where, like, you'll go a whole weekend where you don't do stand-up, and you talk to, like, athletes, and you talk to, like, news people and stuff like that. | ||
| Like, that's probably good for you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he goes, because all I'm talking to is psychos. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Who also, you know, I could say something really fucked up, and they're like, meh. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| When we... | ||
| Alright. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| I learned this in therapy. | ||
| When somebody shares something with you, you need to share back. | ||
| So you know that we're on the level together. | ||
| So I'm going to tell you a fucked up thing I said. | ||
| But I was hanging out. | ||
| I don't even... | ||
| I feel bad breaking his name. | ||
| But I was hanging out with Pete Holmes. | ||
| You brought him in. | ||
| And it was right after... | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was right after Robin Williams. | |
| It was right after the Robin Williams thing. | ||
| Right after the Holocaust. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| And they were saying it's an apparent suicide. | ||
| They found him with the belt around his neck. | ||
| And I was like, Pete, do you think it was a suicide or do you think he was jacking his neck with the belt around his neck? | ||
| And we just started laughing, going, apparent suicide always sounds way better in a newspaper than definitely was jerking off with a belt around his neck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In Robin's case, he cut his wrist, too. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| That part hadn't come out yet, and, you know, it was, I mean... | ||
| I have a human side. | ||
| I don't want to sound like a cunt. | ||
| It's not a cunt. | ||
| It's true. | ||
| It's a good point. | ||
| It's very sad to me that that happened. | ||
| And I respect that that happened. | ||
| And if I was related to him, I probably wouldn't want to hear a joke about it right now. | ||
| But my point is, sometimes you're hanging out with comics and you can let those little thoughts out with them. | ||
| That I think a lot of people, a lot of other comments, if I was on 9 out of 10 other podcasts right now, I wouldn't have felt comfortable sharing that. | ||
| But see, you shared the crazy Joan Rivers joke, right? | ||
| And then I share that back, and it's like, here we are. | ||
| We're in the fucking ninth ring together. | ||
| And Joan Rivers or Robin Williams, I think, would understand why those jokes were funny. | ||
| I don't have the right to say this guy's name because I wasn't there when it happened, but a very famous comedian came over to a table of comics at the cellar. | ||
| And right after Robin Williams died and went, he was a joke thief, right? | ||
| Fuck him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And walked away. | ||
| And everybody was like, oh shit. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| Like looked at everybody and went, he was a joke thief, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus. | |
| The guy was a joke thief, right? | ||
| And everybody nodded their head and he goes, fuck him. | ||
| He walked away. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| It wasn't there. | ||
| So I don't know if it was funny. | ||
| The guy's fucking hilarious, so I'm sure it was probably pretty funny when he said it. | ||
| But, uh, that's a real thing, too, with people. | ||
| That's a real thing, where some guys never want to let that shit go. | ||
| Um, yeah, no, that's a very real thing. | ||
| Especially with your bit, like, if you had a bit, and all of a sudden, it's on Letterman? | ||
| Look, I'll tell you, you know... | ||
| Mork's doing it? | ||
| There's something to be said for that don't die with a grudge thing. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But I also do think it's bullshit a lot of the time, you know? | ||
| I mean, you watch that Ramones documentary, End of the Century... | ||
| And they start talking to Johnny Ramone after Joey died, and they go, did you go visit him in the hospital? | ||
| He goes, no. | ||
| And they go, even when he was dying, you didn't go see him? | ||
| You knew he was going to die? | ||
| And he goes, no. | ||
| If I was dying, I wouldn't want him to come see me. | ||
| I don't like the guy. | ||
| We don't like each other. | ||
| And I was just like, you know what, man? | ||
| In certain ways, I tip my hat to that. | ||
| It's like, yeah. | ||
| This is what it is, man. | ||
| Let's not stroke ourselves here. | ||
| There's levels. | ||
| You know, there's levels. | ||
| Like, there's some people that you have fallen outs with where you could sort it out. | ||
| And there's some people you can't. | ||
| Some people I don't want to be around, because I just don't want to feel them. | ||
| I think they're beyond my reach. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| They're beyond my hope. | ||
| Their perception of reality is so different than mine. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I don't want to hate anybody, but I don't want to communicate with them either. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, you know, my mom taught me a great lesson about that sort of thing. | ||
| She said, the opposite of hate isn't love, the opposite of hate is indifference. | ||
| When you truly don't care about somebody, that's... | ||
| How does love fit in there? | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I phrased it wrong. | ||
| The opposite of love is in hate. | ||
| The opposite of love is in difference. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| So where does hate fit in there? | ||
| Is it in the middle? | ||
| Hate means you still care. | ||
| Hate means you still love the person. | ||
| It's not the opposite. | ||
| Because if you hate, you're invested. | ||
| And I mean, I guess that investment doesn't necessitate love every time, but... | ||
| Hate is investment. | ||
| I'm spending my energy on you right now. | ||
| I'm wasting my energy on you. | ||
| You're my ex-girlfriend. | ||
| You did me wrong. | ||
| It's two years later. | ||
| I can't pick up a mop without yelling the word cunt at the ceiling because this is the fucking mop you bought when you lived here. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's not the opposite of love. | ||
| You're still invested. | ||
| There's part of you still in there somewhere that wishes everything was okay. | ||
| But indifference? | ||
| When you truly say, I don't give a fuck if you live, die, breathe, whatever. | ||
| Like, I have nothing in me for you. | ||
| You know, to me, that is... | ||
| That's why they say with these fucking Twitter trolls... | ||
| You know, I was arguing with people on Twitter for the last two days, and people are going, why are you going after them? | ||
| Don't show them that you care. | ||
| Don't show them... | ||
| And that's what... | ||
| That's... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Why am I showing them that I care? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, indifference is what pisses off a Twitter troll. | ||
| Well, sometimes it's fun. | ||
| Well, it is. | ||
| I do think there's a gray area, and the gray area was where I was trying to exist, because I didn't like what people were saying about a friend of mine on there, so I was trying to defend him. | ||
| Yeah, I know what you're saying. | ||
| I mean, there's times where it's worth your effort to communicate, and there's times where it's not. | ||
| It's a matter of how much emotionally you get invested in debating someone that you don't even know. | ||
| I mean, you might meet them, they might be a fucking complete idiot. | ||
| There's no reason whatsoever to even communicate with them. | ||
| Like, what's the point in getting all riled up and upset? | ||
| You're not even involved with that person. | ||
| You don't know them. | ||
| You choose to be involved with them because of 140 characters that are on a page. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| You don't have to, you know? | ||
| Yeah, there was a guy today that I stopped following that really came after me pretty hard that I considered... | ||
| I wouldn't say a friend. | ||
| We didn't hang out, but we were friendly. | ||
| We were friendly, excuse me, and... | ||
| You know, our knowing of each other started in a weird way. | ||
| He was kind of like being a bit of a troll one day to me. | ||
| And I really went after him because I was in a really bad mood. | ||
| And then I ended up meeting him at a party a year later. | ||
| And he came up and introduced himself. | ||
| And he was like, hey man, I was just joking. | ||
| I'm sorry that that got out of hand or whatever. | ||
| He ended up giving me a bag of weed. | ||
| You know, he was really, really cool. | ||
| And then we were cool. | ||
| And then like over these last two days, he started tweeting me all this really fucking... | ||
| Vicious shit about Andy Kindler. | ||
| And Andy's my friend. | ||
| And I was like, dude, I don't agree with you. | ||
| Stop saying this shit to me. | ||
| And stop putting my name in the fucking tweets like you and me ride together. | ||
| And now my friend is going to see his name getting smeared and my name's in the tweet too. | ||
| And I'm just like, dude, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| And I was writing that back to him with both his and Andy's Handle in the tweets. | ||
| And he just kept doing it. | ||
| And I was just like, you know what, dude? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| I'm not doing this. | ||
| And other people chimed in. | ||
| We're saying the same dumb shit. | ||
| I just wrote, to everybody that I'm arguing with right now on Twitter, please stop following me. | ||
| I can't stand any of the shit you're saying right now. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| Stop following me. | ||
| And they didn't. | ||
| And I was just like, you know what? | ||
| Fuck it. | ||
| And I just unfollowed this dude. | ||
| I'm like, what am I supposed to do? | ||
| Keep following a guy that's like waving his dick in my face? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Depends. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And then he... | ||
| You know, I wake up today at 4.30 in the morning. | ||
| With anxiety from having a bad set at a fucking charity gig last night. | ||
| And I check my Twitter. | ||
| And there's like five tweets at me from this guy. | ||
| You were never funny. | ||
| You're a piece of shit. | ||
| Who is this guy? | ||
| I'll say his name. | ||
| Fred from Brooklyn is his Twitter handle. | ||
| At Fred from Brooklyn. | ||
| Is he a comic? | ||
| I don't know what he does. | ||
| I think he has a podcast. | ||
| He's not like a guy anybody knows. | ||
| Don't put him up on the screen. | ||
| Yeah, he's part of that O&A crew. | ||
| So he just was trying to hurt your feelings? | ||
| Yeah, it kind of made me sad, to be honest, because he was doing it the way a scorned lover does it. | ||
| It's like, dude, two days ago you were telling me you love me, and now you're telling me I'm not funny. | ||
| It's like, you're just hurt. | ||
| Your feelings are hurt. | ||
| So it didn't upset me in that sense. | ||
| And by the way, Fred, if you're hearing this, I'm not giving you attention because this got to me. | ||
| I'm just mature enough to talk about this, and I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| I can't get into all the goddamn head games of, don't say his name. | ||
| That dude's typing right now with sweaty fingers. | ||
| You know, it's just like... | ||
| And if you are listening to this, it's like, dude, I'm not even mad at you. | ||
| It's like, you were saying a bunch of shit I didn't agree with. | ||
| And I was like, alright dude, I can't fuck with you anymore, man. | ||
| And he's writing, if you don't play Twitter by DeRosa's rules, he'll fucking unfollow you. | ||
| He's a fucking cunt. | ||
| It's like, dude, weren't you one of the same guys that stood up for Anthony and were pissed off that he came under fire for his words? | ||
| So you can attack other people when their words come under fire, but nobody can criticize your words? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, how the fuck does that coin... | ||
| Yeah, that's a real convenient fucking coin you're flipping there. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Hmm. | ||
| But why worry about what his fucking hang-up is? | ||
| Why spend so much energy on it? | ||
| That's the real issue. | ||
| Well, now we're back to the thing about the indifference. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| It's not a lot of energy that I'm spending on it. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| I guess I'm just... | ||
| I don't remember why we got into Twitter, but... | ||
| Oh, you were saying that you know these people from the 140... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's your only relationship to them. | ||
| Yeah, you don't have to. | ||
| He was somebody that I actually genuinely liked, like as a dude. | ||
| Troubled. | ||
| A lot of troubled people. | ||
| Well, that's why I say I wasn't mad. | ||
| It was more just like, it was like, I feel bad, man. | ||
| Like, I just feel bad for you, dude. | ||
| Like, you're reacting the way like a dumped girl reacts right now. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Well, you know, when someone says something like that to you, it alleviates any responsibility you have for continuing to communicate with them. | ||
| Like, oh, you're being a baby. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Some people will do that, and they'll expect you to fire back at them, and they'll do it wanting you to fire back on them. | ||
| They want you to engage, and that's where indifference comes in. | ||
| This isn't indifference necessarily, because we're kind of discussing it, but it's important to recognize what you want to invest your energy in. | ||
| Yes, I agree. | ||
| A certain amount of hours in a day. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I just don't like... | ||
| I will say this. | ||
| My only emotional investment in that back and forth and sending out a tweet that says, please stop following me... | ||
| I want people like that out of my life. | ||
| I don't want them coming to my shows. | ||
| I don't want them around. | ||
| And it's not because they said mean things about Andy Kindler. | ||
| I can deal with somebody saying mean things about Andy Kindler. | ||
| It's the reasons they were saying the mean things about Andy Kindler. | ||
| They're pissed off because Andy Kindler... | ||
| Address the Anthony situation at Montreal and now it's we see blood and we an attack and kill and it's fucking stupid It's mob mentality. | ||
| I don't agree with it. | ||
| I don't want people like that behind me in any way in any fucking way well, you know Andy kendler is a very progressive guy very smart guy and He You know, if he met Anthony and he had a conversation with him, maybe they would have a difference of opinion. | ||
| Maybe they would argue. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But I respect them both. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's a tricky situation. | ||
| Anthony Kumi's situation, for folks who don't know, Anthony from Opie and Anthony was fired because he was in a situation, another situation line, situation. | ||
| I can't stop saying situation. | ||
| It's stuck in my head. | ||
| He was taking photographs late at night in Times Square. | ||
| some woman he took her photograph and she got mad at him she hit him yelling at him screaming at him and then he went on this rant about the african-american community about violence about all sorts of different things and he got fired for the rant and uh you know if anybody pays any attention to him on the opian anthony show they know that he does that all the time that that style of communication is his thing but | ||
| But you can explain yourself way better on a radio show when you're going back and forth with people and you cite statistics and facts about the African American community. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| I mean, there's no way to deny it. | ||
| There's a disparity in the amount of African American people that are in prison. | ||
| There's a disparity in the amount of African American people that commit crime. | ||
| That could be attributed to a bunch of different things. | ||
| Economic factors, the opportunities that they have as opposed to the opportunities that people that live in better neighborhoods have. | ||
| There's a lot of shit going on there. | ||
| It's a complex, nuanced discussion and you're not going to have a complex, nuanced discussion after you get punched in the face. | ||
| You're just going to start screaming and yelling and he should have just stayed off the air or stayed offline. | ||
| What he should have done is talked about it on the radio show on Monday morning and expressed the whole story. | ||
| It's a sensitive issue. | ||
| Very sensitive. | ||
| And I think that... | ||
| You know, I'll be honest with you. | ||
| This is the first time I've ever talked about this publicly to anybody. | ||
| And when this all happened, I got a lot of shit online about not coming out and saying stand with Ant or defend Ant or whatever. | ||
| Because I wanted to see the situation through before I said anything. | ||
| And I don't... | ||
| I didn't agree with... | ||
| The initial outburst on Twitter, but I thought to myself, okay, he was angry. | ||
| It was fucked up. | ||
| Let his blood fucking calm. | ||
| Maybe he'll apologize or reword things or whatever. | ||
| Also, too, I think if you're going to be somebody that complains about the problems in a community, you need to address those problems constructively and try to help offer solutions, not just yell From a hilltop about how fucked up it is and how you're pissed off about it. | ||
| I don't think that helps anything. | ||
| And that kind of addressing of a problem is what makes people start saying, what's going on with this guy? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It starts to sound like a very one-sided attack on something. | ||
| Now, you can agree, or anybody can agree or disagree with that point, and we can even move beyond that point to this point, which is... | ||
| After he had that Twitter outburst, I was like, okay, that was unfortunate, but let's see what he says now. | ||
| Then he went on red-eye and was like, I'm not sorry. | ||
| I'm not sorry. | ||
| I'm not apologizing. | ||
| I am not sorry for what I did. | ||
| And I was like, okay, this is starting to get a little bit more complicated now. | ||
| And then after that... | ||
| By the time he went on that white nationalist radio show to defend himself, I was just like, I don't know where this is. | ||
| I didn't hear that. | ||
| Well, I saw it online. | ||
| Did you see a transcript or did you hear it? | ||
| There was part of a transcript of some stuff he said, but... | ||
| I found online, because I was just kind of following the situation, that he had gone on basically a white nationalist podcast or radio show or something. | ||
| The host of the show is on Wikipedia. | ||
| He's got a Wikipedia page. | ||
| The Wikipedia page is like, this is a guy that has had Holocaust deniers and shit on his show. | ||
| Like your friend from Ireland? | ||
| He was my friend. | ||
| He was my neighbor. | ||
| And I didn't know he thought that until it came out that night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Jews exaggerate a bit, lad. | |
| Always after me lucky charms. | ||
| By the way, if that guy had a radio show, I wouldn't have gone on it. | ||
| So, when I saw that, I mean, can you guys look it up? | ||
| You know, I don't want to publicize any fucking white nationalists. | ||
| Oh, okay, fair enough. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So, anyway, so when I saw that, I was like... | ||
| Saw some of Anthony's quotes from the show. | ||
| I was like this is this is getting fucked up So do you think he just went off the deep end because he was angry? | ||
| He was trying to publicize the whole situation or do you think he's really racist like what's your take on it? | ||
| You know probably as good as I know him when it first happened and I'm gonna I'm putting this disclaimer out before I say anything I I am fully aware of the hellfire that I might face for not just saying I'm with the guy on this stuff. | ||
| I'm fully aware of it. | ||
| I've thought about this very long and very hard. | ||
| I am aware of it. | ||
| I'm just saying that. | ||
| Anyway... | ||
| When it first happened I was like this is really fucking unfortunate and I want to believe that my friend fucked up and I want to believe that my friend is is gonna redeem himself from this and the further it went down the road and finally for me the last final straw was the shit he was tweeting about the Ferguson situation I was just like, I can't... | ||
| I unfollowed him on Twitter. | ||
| I was like, I can't do this, man. | ||
| And that's not me saying, fuck you, Kumia. | ||
| That's me saying... | ||
| Like, dude, you have the... | ||
| He has the absolute right to say whatever he wants to say. | ||
| I would never, ever, ever say somebody doesn't have the right to speak out loud about what they have to say. | ||
| But I also have the right to react to it. | ||
| And I also have the right to say, if that's how you feel about this shit, I disagree so strongly... | ||
| And this is such a, to me, an ethical and moral issue when you start dealing with race. | ||
| I don't know how we can pal around still. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| This is beyond political differences to me. | ||
| It's like once it starts getting into racial stuff, and I have to start thinking about what does it say to my black friends if I still hang out with a certain person, You know, it's a real fucking tight spot at that point. | ||
| And I also didn't agree with the whole thing where everybody was really on this, like, cancel your subscriptions thing. | ||
| And what? | ||
| And fuck Opie and Jim over? | ||
| Fuck them out of a job? | ||
| Let SiriusXM lose all this business? | ||
| I mean, those guys were left in a really tough situation, and they're making the best out of it. | ||
| And for everybody that was behind Anthony to go, yeah, cancel your fucking subscription. | ||
| Well, now why are you fucking these people over? | ||
| What did they do? | ||
| They didn't do anything. | ||
| And it just was such a messy thing. | ||
| It was just such a messy thing. | ||
| And everybody was saying this is a free speech issue. | ||
| It's not a free speech issue. | ||
| Speech is free. | ||
| Freedom of speech is free. | ||
| But it doesn't mean it comes without consequences. | ||
| It works like a giant candy dish at your doctor's office. | ||
| It's there for the taking, but if you don't handle it carefully or use it with any responsibility, you're going to get sick and fuck yourself up a little bit. | ||
| You've got to be careful. | ||
| There are repercussions for free speech. | ||
| Free speech just means you're allowed to say it. | ||
| It doesn't mean nothing bad can happen afterwards. | ||
| So when people were talking about, like, I can't believe that they fired him, it's like... | ||
| Well, whether you agree with him getting fired or not, you can't believe that they fired him. | ||
| If you had a pizza shop, and one of your top pizza makers was across the street saying that stuff, and your customers could hear him, you'd be like, we hate this fucking guy away from the pizza shop right now. | ||
| This is bad for pizza business. | ||
| So I don't see how SiriusXM is any different. | ||
| Now, again, whether you agree with him getting fired or not is a different story, but to say we can't understand why he got fired, I just think it's such a closed-minded, one-sided way of looking at it. | ||
| I think it was approached with zero gray area. | ||
| Well, on one hand, I kind of appreciate their loyalty. | ||
| That they want to stick up for Anthony and they want to do that. | ||
| But there are real issues when you start discussing race that you have to take into consideration. | ||
| And this Ferguson thing... | ||
| The Ferguson thing is a very unique situation because it's an incredibly impoverished community with a lot of fucking crime. | ||
| A lot of crime and a lot of police brutality. | ||
| It's just an awful place. | ||
| It's awful. | ||
| And it's not as simple as black people or white people. | ||
| This is going to sound stupid. | ||
| But I wish there was no race. | ||
| I wish there was no color. | ||
| I wish there was no differentiation other than your behavior. | ||
| Because if that was the case, we would be able to look at behavior. | ||
| And we'd be able to look at all these people that are involved in tremendous amounts of crime. | ||
| What are the variables there? | ||
| What are the single-parent households? | ||
| What are the absentee parents? | ||
| What are the kids that are growing up with drug addicts? | ||
| What are the kids that are growing up with... | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what's going on. | ||
| It's not black people. | ||
| I know fucking crazy white people. | ||
| I grew up with a lot of poor white people that were insane. | ||
| They're just as goddamn dangerous as anybody. | ||
| There's nobody that's less dangerous when it comes to poverty and crime. | ||
| It's like you get poverty and crime and bad scenarios and children potential that's growing up in this really distorted and fucked up way, you're gonna get crazy people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| People that grow up with crime commit crime. | ||
| People imitate their atmosphere. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| People who grow up in terrible environments, it's very difficult to rise above and you can't just say it's a black thing or a white thing. | ||
| And just because it's in the black community more than it's in the white community, Look, man, you gotta take into consideration that 150 years ago, there was slavery, okay? | ||
| And the great-grandchildren of those slaves are what you're dealing with today. | ||
| And I'm not a fan of reparations or any of those ideas that a lot of people banner back and forth, but I am a fan of what I would call social or civil engineering. | ||
| Social engineering is probably not a bad idea to try to rejuvenate impoverished communities that Are predominantly one race. | ||
| I mean, it seems to me that those places are a trap. | ||
| And if you're born in those places, whether it's poor, white, Irish people that are fucking criminals and meth heads, or whether it's black people that you grow up and both your parents are in jail, you're being raised by your grandmother who sells crack. | ||
| These are terrible environments that people are coming out of, and they're very commonplace. | ||
| That's the real issue. | ||
| The real issue is children that grow up in these environments and become really fucked up members of society. | ||
| It has nothing to do with race. | ||
| It just so happens that a lot of them are black. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| I agree. | ||
| And that's why I think when statements start becoming things like... | ||
| That community is so quick to jump to violence and savages and statements like that. | ||
| On one hand, he's right. | ||
| On one hand, he's right statistically. | ||
| But the real question is, why are those communities more likely? | ||
| And is it because they've been ignored? | ||
| As a society, we have a right. | ||
| We have, rather, an obligation. | ||
| To take care of our community, right? | ||
| But how far does our community extend? | ||
| That's where it gets really problematic because our community, when we think about America as a community, it's 350 million people. | ||
| It stretches out thousands of miles. | ||
| It's impossible to get everybody on board. | ||
| If we had a community and our community was 20 people and there was one guy who had no fucking money and he was doing a terrible job raising his kids and he was on drugs all the time and his kids were left alone, we would take that kid in. | ||
| We would all take that kid in. | ||
| We all would. | ||
| But we can't when there's a million kids like that. | ||
| And then those kids grow up and they become adults and they were ignored and there's no love and there's just this disastrous circumstance that they're growing up in. | ||
| That's what's wrong. | ||
| I don't believe that it's a color issue. | ||
| I believe it's an environmental issue. | ||
| I think it's a genetic issue in that the genetics of the people that were in these fucked up environments, they're raising more people that are in these fucked up environments. | ||
| It's epigenetics, learning from your environment, that passes on to the next generation. | ||
| But it's not a race thing. | ||
| It's just an environmental thing. | ||
| It could be white people that are in poor neighborhoods like those gypsies in England. | ||
| Those people are goddamn savages. | ||
| Those people that are driving around in those caravans, having bare-knuckle fights with each other, robbing everybody left and right. | ||
| I have a friend who, they're good friends in England. | ||
| They're from England. | ||
| And they have good friends in England that had to abandon their home because gypsies moved into a park next to their house. | ||
| And when they have these weird laws over there, when these gypsies show up, you know, they're not all bad, I'm sure, but these particular gypsies that moved next to them were bad. | ||
| They started robbing the neighborhood. | ||
| They started leaving their garbage everywhere. | ||
| They would dig holes and shit in them. | ||
| It was just chaos. | ||
| They would stay up late at night and drinking and screaming and fighting, and they couldn't get rid of them. | ||
| There was nothing they could do about them. | ||
| It had nothing to do with race. | ||
| It had everything to do with who are these fucking human beings. | ||
| They were white people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| And there were white people that were completely fucking out of control. | ||
| But if you took those same white people, raised them in a nice neighborhood, raised them in Studio City, put them in a nice suit, and have them walk into their BMW, no one would blink an eye. | ||
| The same human being. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, yeah. | |
| I hear you. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| I totally agree. | ||
| Can I go back to something you said earlier? | ||
| When you said, on the one hand, you admire their loyalty for... | ||
| For going with him. | ||
| I think it's short-sighted. | ||
| Here's my thing. | ||
| As far as I understood, it was about that show. | ||
| I mean, the fan base, I mean. | ||
| It was about that show. | ||
| And about what that show stood for. | ||
| And to me, nothing about saying fuck you to two other guys and we're 100% going to follow one guy was anything that that show stood for. | ||
| It showed zero unity to me. | ||
| It just didn't. | ||
| To throw two other dudes under a bus and go and have no consideration for the situation that they're left in, you know? | ||
| I understand if you want to have consideration for the position Anthony's in. | ||
| Not saying they shouldn't have had consideration. | ||
| I'm saying, but to have zero consideration for the other two and go, fuck it, we're out of here. | ||
| Cancel subscription. | ||
| That's the thing I didn't agree with. | ||
| That just felt like mob mentality to me. | ||
| I see what you're saying, but in their defense, I think what they were trying to do was there was only one way to force their hand. | ||
| The way wasn't to sit back. | ||
| The way was to cancel subscriptions until serious... | ||
| Brought Anthony back. | ||
| They wanted the show as a whole. | ||
| So their idea wasn't to fuck Jimmy and Opie. | ||
| Their idea was to cancel Sirius because it would force their hand and make them bring back Anthony. | ||
| Prove a point. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was the only thing that they could do. | ||
| I mean, if you wanted to bring back Anthony, there was really no other way to act. | ||
| But I never felt... | ||
| Now, look, I might be wrong. | ||
| How else could they have acted? | ||
| Hey guys, this is fucking unfortunate. | ||
| Nobody listens to that. | ||
| You listen to economics. | ||
| That's what people listen to. | ||
| We'll also subscribe to this thing over here now. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| Now, I might be wrong about this, but as far as I could see, it was never painted in the light of... | ||
| Of, we're leaving and we'll be back if you rehire him. | ||
| It was, fuck him, we're done. | ||
| Two days later, Anthony was like, I'm starting my own show. | ||
| And for a week, two weeks, those subscription cancellations were coming in. | ||
| So it never, to me, once came across as, we're doing this now as a walkout, as a strike, and if you guys do what we think is the right thing, we'll bring him back. | ||
| It struck me very immediately as, like, he's out the door. | ||
| He's starting his own thing. | ||
| These people are continually jumping ship. | ||
| And I just think that kind of sucks for the other two guys. | ||
| And I realize I'm not speaking for them right now. | ||
| I don't know how they feel about it. | ||
| And I don't mean to talk out of turn. | ||
| No, I know what you're saying. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| But I think for them, I can totally understand why they wanted a boycott. | ||
| Because I think for them, that was the only way to voice their opinion in a way where the company would be forced to listen. | ||
| If the company had 50,000 people cancel their subscriptions because Anthony Cumia got fired, and then everybody said, holy shit, we just lost X amount of revenue, can we get Anthony to apologize and bring him back? | ||
| Boom, he's back on the show. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And he wouldn't have apologized, though. | ||
| Well, no. | ||
| But I think there could have been a way to... | ||
| I don't think an apology was as necessary as an explanation and a discussion. | ||
| You know, I think if they had a discussion of the issue on Monday, he could have said the exact same things that he said in those tweets. | ||
| I don't think it's cool to be... | ||
| I'm not a white knight here, okay? | ||
| But hear me out. | ||
| If you're a woman and some fucking dude on the street is pointing a camera at you and taking pictures, that shit's creepy. | ||
| And maybe dudes don't think that way because they think they're innocent. | ||
| They're just capturing. | ||
| They would prefer to be anonymous. | ||
| I'm just capturing the city. | ||
| I just love taking photographs. | ||
| I think it's a beautiful city. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| I like taking pictures of cabs. | ||
| I don't get their permission. | ||
| This is a person. | ||
| They just happen to be walking down the street. | ||
| I'm going to take a picture of them. | ||
| I disagree with that. | ||
| I think, especially in the case of a man taking a photograph of a woman. | ||
| Men are traditionally the pursuers. | ||
| I mean, we're liars if we pretend there's anything other than that going on. | ||
| Yeah, women pursue sometimes, but most creepers are dudes. | ||
| And when a dude is taking photographs, if I was a chick, I would immediately assume that he was a creeper. | ||
| So, in my opinion, this woman was probably... | ||
| I don't know what the fuck was said. | ||
| See? | ||
| So, I mean, I'm even commenting out of school. | ||
| Well, that's the tough part, is it becomes like the Watergate tapes. | ||
| There's like this missing 20 minutes sort of thing. | ||
| Well, there's missing all minutes. | ||
| We don't have any time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| We have zero words. | ||
| Right, exactly. | ||
| So, I mean, it literally goes from, I was taking a picture until I got hit in the face. | ||
| And called white motherfucker, right? | ||
| This is how I, you know, I feel like this about the Zimmerman case, too. | ||
| You know, everybody was like, oh, you know, this is a clear-cut case, that guy was a piece of shit, and, you know, George Zimmerman's an awful person, and that kid, you know, he should have been... | ||
| Or then there's other people that said, that kid was a punk, he was beating him up, and he should have shot him. | ||
| My take was always like, what would have happened if someone was cooler and they talked to that kid? | ||
| What would have happened with someone who understands people better? | ||
| I mean, what if the whole scenario had played out where it was a dude who's really good at communicating with people and very respectful and said to the kid, how you doing today, my brother? | ||
| Everything good? | ||
| And the kid said, everything's good, man. | ||
| You know, what are you up to? | ||
| You know, I mean, who knows? | ||
| Maybe the kids say, just head back from the store, man. | ||
| Alright, keep cool, stay dry. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Exactly, exactly. | ||
| A fucking dork like George Zimmerman might have caused that altercation just by being a social fuckhead. | ||
| Well, I think if you... | ||
| Yeah, I mean, I thought... | ||
| I certainly thought so. | ||
| I went... | ||
| I was open-minded to the point of going, I understand if... | ||
| that the guy had his suspicions raised or whatever but then when you listen to those cell phone calls and he's like chasing the guy around the neighborhood it was so painfully obvious to me that here's a guy that just wants to be a hero here's a wannabe cop that wants to be a hero and shit got out of hand he bit off more than he could chew he got his fucking ass kicked by a kid and he ended up killing somebody over it you know and like somehow slid through that self-defense loophole Because, you know, how old was Trayvon? | ||
| 16, 17. Got on top of him and... | ||
| Was beating his ass. | ||
| Yeah, was beating his ass. | ||
| But, you know, look, it's like the Ferguson thing. | ||
| Those two... | ||
| All anybody was talking about was the first... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Was the video of the guy... | |
| The defenders of the cop, all they were talking about was the guy, you know, shoving the guy in the convenience store and stealing the cigar or whatever it was. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Two white witnesses came out yesterday, finally, and said, we saw the shooting and his hands were up. | ||
| His hands were up when he was shot. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So, now regardless of this weird phantom gunfire shot that happened when the cop was in the car, whatever weird fucking altercation thing happened there, whether it was that dude's fault or the cop, whatever. | ||
| Regardless of any of that, the guy is getting chased, the cop is chasing him, if he's got his fucking hands up, You're a cop, dude. | ||
| At that point, that's it. | ||
| You don't shoot a dude to death. | ||
| You just don't. | ||
| Well, the guy who was the cop that shot him was also a guy that was a part of another band of cops that was so fucked up, they had so many complaints about them, that they disbanded the whole department. | ||
| And then he got hired by Ferguson. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| So he had a history of that kind of abuse. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And, you know, it's... | ||
| So, you know, to... | ||
| Unless you don't want to talk about this anymore, but like, you know, again, with the Cumia thing, you know, look, at the end of the day with Anthony, and this is why when I saw the Ferguson tweets, I was like, that's it, I can't... | ||
| You know, because when you see him... | ||
| I don't want to get into what he was tweeting, but the point is that I harshly didn't agree with it. | ||
| Well, I think he's a bit like... | ||
| I don't want to cast him in a bad light because he's my friend, but I think he's a bit like your friend that's a spurned lover. | ||
| I think there's a little bit of that, that he's fired by this company. | ||
| He's like, yeah, fuck you. | ||
| I'm going to go even deeper with it now. | ||
| I'm getting even more crazy with it now. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| No, yeah. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| No, he is. | ||
| I got to say, man, at the end of the day... | ||
| The whole thing just makes me sad. | ||
| And I know, probably deep in his core, Anthony doesn't really give a fuck about what I think. | ||
| We were friends. | ||
| And, you know, like, we used to hang out. | ||
| I was bummed out, man. | ||
| I was bummed out that I felt like I got to a point with a friend where I was like, I don't think I can hang out with this guy anymore. | ||
| And it really bummed me out. | ||
| But did you talk to him in person about this? | ||
| I texted him twice. | ||
| What did he say? | ||
| He didn't respond to the first one. | ||
| The second one he responded to me. | ||
| The second text I sent, I was a little pissed, honestly, that I didn't get a response from the first one. | ||
| And I texted him a second time, like two weeks later. | ||
| And I said, hey man, I don't know if you got my other text. | ||
| But the first text was just like, hey man, you know, I know you're going through some shit right now. | ||
| I'm sorry that you're in a tough position, and I just want you to know I had great times in the studio with you, and I wish you well, man. | ||
| Like, I felt like I could say that much to a guy, even though I didn't agree with the shit that came out of his mouth. | ||
| I could say that much to him. | ||
| I owe a lot of my career to Opie and Anthony and Jimmy. | ||
| So, that was the first text I didn't hear back from him, and I was like, okay, fine. | ||
| And then two weeks later, I texted him again. | ||
| I said, hey, man, I don't know if you got my other text, but... | ||
| There's some guy online writing fake retweets of me saying really nasty shit about you. | ||
| I go, I'm not... | ||
| Those aren't my tweets. | ||
| That's not me. | ||
| And then he responded to that one. | ||
| He was like, hey, man, I always knew we were cool. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| Da-da-da-da. | ||
| And I was like, oh, cool, man. | ||
| Like, you know, let's have a beer at some point. | ||
| Because in my head, I was like, this was still before the red-eye clip. | ||
| Or at least I saw the red-eye clip and stuff. | ||
| And I was still thinking like... | ||
| This will turn around. | ||
| This will turn around. | ||
| That's what I just kept thinking. | ||
| And after that, I started seeing all the other stuff. | ||
| And that's when I started to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| And I'll be honest, man, what really bummed me out one day was he knew I was getting a lot of shit online because his name was in the tweets. | ||
| And he never once told these people to leave me the fuck alone. | ||
| But don't you think that he was... | ||
| First of all, this was a national story. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Okay, this is a huge story. | ||
| Don't you think that he was probably completely overwhelmed? | ||
| And may very well have been ignoring his at replies because they were overwhelming. | ||
| He said nice things about Burr. | ||
| He said nice things about Bobby Kelly. | ||
| He said, there's other comics, I don't remember. | ||
| He said nice things about me. | ||
| He said nice things about you? | ||
| He ignored you. | ||
| Well, he doesn't like you. | ||
| I'm not important enough. | ||
| I'm not important enough. | ||
| Seriously. | ||
| Do you think that's it? | ||
| Or is it just like... | ||
| Here's why I think that's what it is. | ||
| Here's why I think that's what it is. | ||
| Because not only did he not help get some of the fucking heat off of me, and there was a lot of it, when he finally did address me on Twitter, As people like Colin Quinn and... | ||
| Who's the guy from the Vice guy? | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Which Vice guy? | ||
| Goddamn him. | ||
| Shane? | ||
| Shane Smith? | ||
| Not Shane. | ||
| The guy that left Vice with the beard. | ||
| Oh, the guy who got in trouble recently for talking about transsexuals? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| Gavin? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gavin. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| Gavin and Colin Quinn were getting tweets like, Hey, would you please come do my new show? | ||
| I'll send a car for you. | ||
| Ha ha ha. | ||
| DM me. | ||
| Come do my show, please. | ||
| My tweet in the midst... | ||
| By the way... | ||
| This is Anthony tweeting them? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You sound like a spurned lover now. | ||
| Do you feel that? | ||
| No, I'm just going to say something. | ||
| A lot of spurned lover talk today. | ||
| By the way, some of my... | ||
| I guess anger about the situation is, when you're sitting at your aunt's funeral, who was like a second mother to you, and your phone keeps buzzing because you're getting tweets like, you're a talentless, selfish, shitbag cunt, stick up for cumia. | ||
| Okay, well you need to take those fucking at replies off your fucking notifications. | ||
| You don't have your phone buzz when people tweet you. | ||
| What are you, an amateur? | ||
| Right, but... | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| Judge Benson? | ||
| But my point is, is like, there was some... | ||
| There was some personal stuff in there because I was like, I'm getting shit for not... | ||
| This guy doesn't give a fuck about me, obviously. | ||
| He's doing whatever he wants. | ||
| Why am I being helped? | ||
| Maybe he's just overwhelmed, man. | ||
| You've got to talk to a guy before you form an opinion. | ||
| In my opinion... | ||
| Well, this was the tweet I got. | ||
| This was the tweet I got. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Hey, fuckhead. | ||
| From you? | ||
| From Anthony. | ||
| Hey, fuckhead. | ||
| Are you going to do my show when you're in New York? | ||
| That's the tweet I got. | ||
| When he knew there was bullshit going on online, then he calls me out in front of everybody, like, you're on the spot, douche, let's go dance, are you coming on or not? | ||
| And I responded, you know I'm 10% black, right? | ||
| Because I thought that was fucking funny, and nothing. | ||
| Nothing. | ||
| Not a favorite, not a reply, nothing. | ||
| Very personal. | ||
| You probably shouldn't have aired it out in this manner. | ||
| Why? | ||
| You got all worked up. | ||
| I'm not worked up. | ||
| But this is all just an interpersonal situation. | ||
| We were talking about a more complex issue of racism and what he said, and then it became all about him not being nice to you. | ||
| No, no, I don't care. | ||
| It seems like you're taking Twitter way too seriously. | ||
| Whenever I have a problem with Twitter, I either ban user, ignore it, or anything like that. | ||
| But it seems like you take your very... | ||
| Do you in your personal life before Twitter and everything, do you get in a lot of confrontations with people? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't. | ||
| I used to. | ||
| I don't a lot in my personal life. | ||
| I used to. | ||
| I used to be bad about confrontation. | ||
| I used to. | ||
| But the only reason I'm bringing in any personal stuff is because you were asking me when I said he doesn't give a fuck about me. | ||
| You gotta talk to the guy, man. | ||
| You gotta talk to him. | ||
| Sometimes, you know, sometimes people are busy, man. | ||
| And when he said fuckface or whatever he said, like, hey, fuckface, are you gonna do my show or whatever he said, do you think maybe he was just like, hey, fuckface, what are you gonna do my show? | ||
| Yeah, that sounds like a text I might get from Brian. | ||
| Yeah, because it seems like you in your head were reading it like, hey, fuckface. | ||
| Fuck face! | ||
| Yeah, you were all worked up. | ||
| I mean, let's build it up. | ||
| You were all worked up. | ||
| Your aunt died. | ||
| You're at the funeral. | ||
| Your phone's busy. | ||
| Buzzing. | ||
| People are calling you a cunt. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| It still doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't do the show. | ||
| I mean, because... | ||
| You wouldn't do it because of that? | ||
| No, because of the stuff he's... | ||
| Yeah, but didn't you... | ||
| I would do it, even though I don't agree with what he said, because he's my friend, and if we disagreed, I'd like to disagree with him on air. | ||
| People that I'm friends with have opinions I don't agree with, and sometimes I've had opinions that are off-base, and someone has sort of explained things to me in a way that's made me think about things in a different way. | ||
| I don't know if Anthony's capable of being reached like that, but sometimes you can communicate with someone and say something that opens their eyes. | ||
| I always... | ||
| In the beginning of this whole situation, I absolutely thought that he was. | ||
| And I have lost the hope of that. | ||
| And I feel like at this point, for me to act like it's like... | ||
| See, I feel like if I say this, it sounds like I'm judging you, and I don't mean to be judging you right now. | ||
| But I feel like if I were to go on his show, it would make... | ||
| Unless it was under the guise of, Joe, come on and we'll debate race. | ||
| And it's like, okay, then I could go on and... | ||
| Hey, doesn't matter what this guy thinks, I'm allowed to do this. | ||
| But if I went on the show, and let's say we didn't get around to debating race, now I'm sitting and we're just laughing and yuck it, to me that looks like I'm giving a stamp of approval. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And I can't. | ||
| It's like, you know, it's... | ||
| Okay, I could understand your opinion. | ||
| I mean, my friendship with him is pretty deep. | ||
| I've really enjoyed doing that show, and I have a lot of respect for him, and I probably don't agree with him on a lot of issues. | ||
| When it comes to race, especially, because I have these opinions about things being much, much more complicated than simply black people do this, white people do that. | ||
| I don't think it's that. | ||
| I think it's poverty, it's an economic, it's a cultural issue. | ||
| It's an issue with people get stuck. | ||
| They're stuck in bad neighborhoods, they're stuck in economic situations, and I think we probably both agree with that. | ||
| And Anthony has some very good points about the reality of statistics in these communities. | ||
| I think it's a much more complex issue, but his issue is that people want to deny those realistic statistics. | ||
| The reality of those statistics is undeniable, in my opinion. | ||
| I just think that there's more to it than simply the statistics. | ||
| And I think that society as a whole has done a really shitty job at taking care of the lowest social and economic rung of the ladder. | ||
| I think people have ignored it because it's convenient, because they don't have to do anything about it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, but... | ||
| You know, a lot of people accuse you of socialism if you say things like that. | ||
| You know, someone called me a socialist today because of that. | ||
| I'm like, you know, look, if you think taking care of poor babies is socialism, yeah, I'm a socialist. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They didn't fucking ask to be born in a ghetto, man. | ||
| And if you can't feel that, you don't have any remorse or any compassion for people that are born in terrible situations, to me, that's a mark against you as a human being. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| I totally agree with that. | ||
| Which is why... | ||
| So why wouldn't you just have a discussion with him about it? | ||
| To try to figure out... | ||
| How do you have a discussion with a guy that doesn't return your texts? | ||
| Or doesn't get back to you? | ||
| But if he did, would you still? | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| If he did, would you have that conversation? | ||
| Because you just said that you thought it would give him a stamp of approval. | ||
| No, no, no, no. | ||
| That's not what I said. | ||
| What I said was, I said I would absolutely go on his show if the purpose was to discuss race. | ||
| I wouldn't go on the show if that wasn't preset, that we were going to do that, because if we didn't get around to discussing race, then we're just having a good time. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's just not cool to me. | ||
| But, you know, I just... | ||
| Look, now here's the thing. | ||
| Here's the thing. | ||
| And again, I want to, well, let me just say this to defend myself a little bit. | ||
| I am not sore about the way he treated me. | ||
| I'm not upset. | ||
| Say butthurt. | ||
| Yeah, I'm not butthurt. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I'm not, my ass, my little assy poo doesn't hurt. | ||
| And I'm in no way trying to air a personal grievance right now on your show about this. | ||
| In any fucking way. | ||
| I only went into that stuff because when I started talking about it, I don't think he really cares what I think. | ||
| Um... | ||
| I had a friendship with the guy. | ||
| When I reached out and tried to get to a deeper place with him about this and maybe have a discussion or whatever about this, let's grab a beer. | ||
| My let's grab a beer never received a response. | ||
| You know, I didn't get the... | ||
| Okay, let's stop right here, because this really is very personal. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| This is not about the issue itself. | ||
| It's about you and him and your relationship, and I don't know what the fuck it is, but... | ||
| I think what they should have done from the beginning is say, we're going to ride our contract out. | ||
| When that bitch is over, we're going to go on the internet. | ||
| Do the Opie and Anthony show when our contract is out. | ||
| I mean, I don't even know if they can say that, but their contract is out in like October. | ||
| They might already be planning that. | ||
| I hope they are. | ||
| Because I think that the reality of satellite radio is it's awesome because it's in your car. | ||
| It's way better than terrestrial radio. | ||
| You got Howard Stern. | ||
| You got Opie and Anthony. | ||
| You got all these radio stations that have... | ||
| You know, you have great music on them. | ||
| You can find channels. | ||
| I love classic vinyl. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| I love listening to satellite radio, but you have to listen to what they want you to listen to. | ||
| I don't listen to it. | ||
| I have it in my car. | ||
| Most of the time, I listen to podcasts. | ||
| Most of the time, I'm listening to Hardcore History or Radiolab or any of our friends' podcasts. | ||
| That's what I do most of the time. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I just think it's an archaic way to get programming. | ||
| It's this idea that you have to listen to what's on when it's on. | ||
| That's great if you happen to be flipping through the channels or you turn on your car and Opie and Anthony comes on or the Anthony and Jimmy show, whatever they call it now, or Opie and Jimmy. | ||
| When it comes on and it's an interesting interview, it's great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But sometimes you just want to listen to what you want to listen to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| And it would be great if I could say, oh, look, Joe DeRose is on Joey Diaz's podcast. | ||
| Let me just press play on that. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Or I could go listen to Arnold Schwarzenegger on The Nerdist or this and that or whatever. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That, I think, is the future. | ||
| And I think that's the present also. | ||
| And I think that once that's readily available in all cars at all times... | ||
| The idea of them working for satellite radio would be kind of silly. | ||
| Why would you choose to have a boss? | ||
| What is the difference between the distribution method of satellite radio and the internet? | ||
| I'll tell you what the difference is. | ||
| There is a difference. | ||
| Satellite radio is more restrictive. | ||
| More restrictive. | ||
| It's more advertising. | ||
| You don't get as much of a piece of it. | ||
| And you've got this massive overhead because you're attached to this gigantic company that's totally unnecessary. | ||
| And you can get fired, apparently. | ||
| You can get fired for talking. | ||
| And you have to rent this giant fucking building. | ||
| I mean, there's a fucking floor. | ||
| You have to show ID. You go up to whatever floor it is. | ||
| It's way the fuck up there. | ||
| There's all this money that's being spent where, look at this fucking place. | ||
| This reaches the same amount of people, or more, really. | ||
| This show reaches more than most satellite radio shows. | ||
| And we do it from a fucking office park. | ||
| It's a joke. | ||
| The future is... | ||
| The distribution method is changing. | ||
| I think it's being tested by these sort of situations where you find out that you could be fired for something totally unrelated to the show. | ||
| It's not like they went on the show and he said something that the company can't... | ||
| He went on the show and said something totally racist and the company's like, you can't say that on our show, you're fired. | ||
| No, he said it on his own Twitter. | ||
| At the very least, they should have had some form of a debate with the guy. | ||
| But I think... | ||
| There's more to it than that. | ||
| And I think when you talk about this white nationalist radio station that he went on, I think there's a little bit of that there, too. | ||
| Like, there might have been more to behind the scenes. | ||
| Well, but... | ||
| And this is... | ||
| And I'm no way retreading or trying to beat a dead horse here. | ||
| But this is why I'm saying... | ||
| I'm not trying to be personal. | ||
| I agree with everything you're saying. | ||
| But I'm saying, how... | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| I almost felt like he wasn't that open to having the discussion. | ||
| Maybe he wasn't. | ||
| So it's like, how can you... | ||
| On the one hand, everybody... | ||
| And this is what's driving me nuts about this sort of blind... | ||
| I know what's going to happen. | ||
| I'm going to leave here. | ||
| I'm going to get a flood of tweets tonight. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| You know why you're going to? | ||
| Because I'm saying this. | ||
| Because you care. | ||
| Because you're freaking out. | ||
| Because they know they can make your phone buzz. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| I'm going to shut that part off. | ||
| You should have shut off already. | ||
| How much has it gone off while the show's on? | ||
|
unidentified
|
A lot of crazy. | |
| I got a confession to make. | ||
| I lied. | ||
| I don't have my Twitter alerts on my phone. | ||
| I went outside during the funeral to get some air, and I checked my Twitter, and then I saw all the stuff. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| But I was trying to just get through the goddamn story. | ||
| When was the last time it used to be on your phone? | ||
| Oh, it was just years. | ||
| That's a big lie. | ||
| Yeah, it was a big lie. | ||
| I'm glad you owned up to that. | ||
| Good for you. | ||
| But that's... | ||
| And it doesn't... | ||
| I mean, I guess, yeah, to a certain extent, it does bother me that I'll get some of these tweets and whatever. | ||
| But that, to me, is what bothers me about the whole discussion is because I feel like everybody's going, it should have been more open-minded. | ||
| It should have been more open-minded. | ||
| It's like, okay, well, I can speak from the place of somebody that was trying to approach it more open-minded. | ||
| And I felt like I didn't... | ||
| There wasn't an option to do that. | ||
| I feel like that wasn't there. | ||
| Well, it's just because of your relationship with Anthony. | ||
| Well, I mean, well, no, I also mean, like, just in the public discussion forums, like, the second you don't, you didn't, not you, but anybody, generally, the second you didn't hashtag stand with Ant... | ||
| Or come out and say something, you were a traitor and a piece of shit. | ||
| And it's like, well, that's not open-minded discussion either. | ||
| But you're talking about the pests. | ||
| Why are you looking for open-minded discussion? | ||
| Those people are savages. | ||
| Yeah, they are. | ||
| They are. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I guess I always think that because the shitheels are more prone to write stuff, Or voice the negative opinion than the positive people are to voice the positive. | ||
| It seems like the majority voice is that sort of negative voice sometimes. | ||
| Well, they're more likely to fester, and they're more likely to get crazy about it and obsess about it. | ||
| Like, I retweeted this one dude the other day about something, and I saw him going back and forth with people for 13 hours. | ||
| Yeah, that's nuts. | ||
| I retweeted him, and he just was battling people all day. | ||
| It became his life. | ||
| I mean, it was every minute for 13 hours, this guy was going back with people. | ||
| There's folks like that out there. | ||
| And you have to realize, you can get caught into their web of psychosis. | ||
| Sorry, I was going to say something off topic. | ||
| No, go ahead. | ||
| You want to talk about anxiety? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| We're getting into this. | ||
| This is beautiful, man. | ||
| I mean, I think it is. | ||
| I like how raw this discussion is. | ||
| Do you know the surge, the full-body surge of anxiety I felt when you were like, let's stop there. | ||
| This is getting way too personal. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Dude, oh my god. | ||
| It felt like I stuck my finger in a light socket. | ||
| Oh, I'm sorry. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| Don't be sorry. | ||
| I just felt like we were beating on the same path over and over again and it was getting to be like, you know, he fucking didn't call me. | ||
| No, I didn't mean it like that. | ||
| I was saying when you were saying, why didn't you have a discussion? | ||
| I was saying I tried to and that was my attempt to and I didn't get a response so I don't know what else to do. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Um... | ||
| But then I knew you took it the other way because of what you said. | ||
| And then I went right back to the beginning. | ||
| Don't fuck this up. | ||
| First time on Rogan's podcast. | ||
| Rogan doesn't like you. | ||
| You went down the street. | ||
| No, I like you a lot. | ||
| It felt like I put my finger in an electric socket. | ||
| No, well, get it out of there. | ||
| Go get a Band-Aid. | ||
| I'm just being 100% honest. | ||
| No, I know what you're saying. | ||
| It's a complex subject. | ||
| It's tricky. | ||
| Also, too, I want to, you know, I'm not... | ||
| I'll talk about myself as openly as I'll talk about anybody else. | ||
| Like, you know. | ||
| I'll beat on myself as much as I ever go after anybody. | ||
| I know you will. | ||
| No, I know you will. | ||
| Yeah, it's... | ||
| Look, man. | ||
| People fuck up and they say things... | ||
| That are wrong. | ||
| They say things that they don't mean. | ||
| The real question is, did he say things that he doesn't mean? | ||
| Was he upset? | ||
| Or is that what he really feels? | ||
| And if that's the case, then it becomes a real issue. | ||
| Because if that's the case, if he denies that there's some complexities to it, but my interactions with him, my communication with him has not been that. | ||
| My communications with him has been there is a real problem in those communities, but it's not his fault. | ||
| And what he deals with is the PC denial of these real problems in that community. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| I agree with that. | ||
| And that was always how it seemed to be, at least at the times when I was in the studio and stuff and would hear it. | ||
| And when we hung out... | ||
| I mean, dude, this is a dude... | ||
| I can't stress this enough. | ||
| I'm bummed about the whole thing, first and foremost, because this is a dude I used to have a great fucking time with. | ||
| We would drink... | ||
| Dude, I had so much fun with him, and it never got heavy. | ||
| Ever. | ||
| Ever, ever, ever. | ||
| So, like, the... | ||
| When the discussions of this stuff would come up on the show, when you're in the room, it sounded a little more to me like what you're saying. | ||
| Like he's addressing that there was this problem. | ||
| But then there was also the times where he would get real mad on the air. | ||
| And even in those times, you're like, okay, he just got a little hot today, and that's not that big of a deal. | ||
| But then, when all these things happened after the show, or after he was fired from the show, that's when it started to feel kind of, like, weird to me, where I was like, okay, well, was all that anger coming from a different place? | ||
| You know? | ||
| Or... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I don't know, man. | ||
| The radio show thing fucked me up. | ||
| The white nationalist thing fucked me up. | ||
| Yeah, well, that'll do it. | ||
| I mean, I don't know how to take that. | ||
| Yeah, that's lighting someone's house on fire. | ||
| I mean, that's like, you break up with someone, you fucking burn all their records. | ||
| It's so crazy to me that I almost feel like it... | ||
| I'm like, maybe somebody's gonna write later tonight and be like, that's not true. | ||
| That was a made-up thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't fucking know. | |
| Maybe he was drinking. | ||
| Maybe he was... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I would have to communicate with him. | ||
| I would have to pay attention to what he actually said on that show. | ||
| I didn't see it. | ||
| I didn't listen to it. | ||
| But the fact that he went on a white nationalist show is not good. | ||
| You know, like... | ||
| Isn't it funny? | ||
| You know, this is a funny thing, man, because I've been going back and forth with people because of something I said the other day on a podcast about Jon Jones, where I said that I think that a lot of the hate that Jon Jones gets, it's possible that some of it might be because of racism. | ||
| I said... | ||
| I wonder if some of it might be because of racism. | ||
| That was my exact words. | ||
| And people said, there's headlines of things that said white guilt. | ||
| Rogan thinks that it's all because of racism. | ||
| It's such a hot-button topic. | ||
| If you bring it up in any form at all, you bring up racism in any form at all, people just immediately... | ||
| It's a weird topic. | ||
| It's a tough subject, which is why I think if you're going to address problems in a community, you have to also address potential solutions. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| And I don't think that happens often in the race discussion. | ||
| I think the race discussion is almost always two sides attacking one. | ||
| One side on a hard blind attack and another side on a hard blind defense. | ||
| But there's like double standards. | ||
| And here's one of them. | ||
| The heavyweight champion of the world is a dude named Cain Velasquez. | ||
| Awesome fighter. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Boxing? | ||
| Heavyweight? | ||
| UFC. UFC heavyweight champion. | ||
| And he has brown pride tattooed across his chest because he's Mexican. | ||
| Brown pride. | ||
| Could you imagine if there was a white guy who was the heavy... | ||
| If Brock Lesnar won the heavyweight title and then got white pride tattooed across his chest? | ||
| Yeah, but here's the difference. | ||
| To me, here's the difference to that argument. | ||
| Brown pride never meant the same thing as white pride. | ||
| White pride has always been synonymous with white power. | ||
| Always. | ||
| Those two terms have never not been linked to one another. | ||
| So you put white pride out there, it sounds like white power, people start going down that road, and they're like, what the fuck is this guy all about? | ||
| Brown pride? | ||
| When it's like, hey man, I'm from a suppressed people, or oppressed people, excuse me, uh... | ||
| And hey, man, I'm proud of who I am. | ||
| Nobody would have a problem with a white guy where it said Italian pride or Irish pride. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Nobody would have a problem with that. | ||
| That's very true. | ||
| Overall, white would be an issue. | ||
| But that's true. | ||
| If someone had Irish pride written on their chest, like if Conor McGregor had Irish pride on his back as a famous Irish fighter, nobody would give a fuck. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Nobody would care at all. | ||
| He's a proud Irishman. | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| He says he's a proud Irishman. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, it's... | ||
| English pride would be fine. | ||
| Anyone. | ||
| Polish. | ||
| German. | ||
| Maybe not German. | ||
| German would be a real issue. | ||
| He'd be like, what are you proud about? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Our engineering. | ||
| Our cars. | ||
| Okay, okay. | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Military accomplishments aside. | |
| Yeah, no, it's... | ||
| I mean, this whole... | ||
| Dude, it goes back to the thing you said about certain communities having to deal with certain setbacks, right? | ||
| I'm not putting words in your mouth here. | ||
| That's essentially what you said. | ||
| Certain communities have had certain setbacks. | ||
| The white community as a whole has not faced too many setbacks. | ||
| It's just a fact. | ||
| Most of global tyranny, violence, genocide, whatever, a big chunk of it has been perpetuated by white people. | ||
| And white people have pretty much prevailed in the majority In most of the societies that they have ever existed in. | ||
| I'm not saying there aren't poor white people. | ||
| I don't agree with that whole white people problems bullshit. | ||
| I'm not saying that white people can't have a hard time. | ||
| And I'm not saying that there aren't people that aren't white that are as well off or way better off than a lot of white people. | ||
| But, if you want to speak in generalities of race, white has had the least amount of headaches. | ||
| So it's tough when the people that have had the least amount of setbacks and the least amount of headaches stand to the side and go, stop your complaining. | ||
| Stop your complaining. | ||
| Because then it starts to be like, fuck you, man. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| That's like somebody going, you know, Joe, you know, man, oh, did you take jujitsu when you were a kid because your upbringing was so bad? | ||
| Oh, stop fucking... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Then you want to be like, hey, fuck you. | ||
| You don't know anything about my fucking upbringing. | ||
| I probably wouldn't handle it that way, but go ahead. | ||
| But... | ||
|
unidentified
|
But I'm saying it would feel disrespectful if I spoke to you that way. | |
| I don't think the comparison is a martial arts comparison because, yeah, I think the race issue is a bigger issue. | ||
| Of course it's bigger. | ||
| It's darker, it's more fucked up, and racism to me is one of the... | ||
| It's one of the most unfortunate aspects of humanity, this idea of just seeing someone, basing it on all the data that you've accumulated in the X amount of years you've been alive, all the bad experiences you've had with white people or black people, whatever it is that you have a racism towards, and then automatically assuming that this person you have no interaction with whatsoever is negative based on that. | ||
| It's just so limiting and it's so unfortunate. | ||
| It's one of the most unfortunate aspects of being a person, so I can never support it. | ||
| But I think it's a complex subject for debate. | ||
| It's a very complex subject. | ||
| There's a lot going on there. | ||
| And anybody that pretends it isn't, whether it's Anthony or whether it's on the progressive side, whichever side has a non-nuanced opinion on it, I think it's a disservice to a complex topic. | ||
| I have a real problem when the topic is addressed. | ||
| With the approach of stop your belly aching. | ||
| Yeah, that's just people fucking with you. | ||
| You know, it's this simple. | ||
| Do you know what I mean? | ||
| It's this simple, guys. | ||
| Slavery, get over it. | ||
| I mean, I've heard people say that. | ||
| I've heard people say, slavery, get over it. | ||
| I've heard Jewish people say, oh, I'm sick of hearing this. | ||
| We were in the Holocaust. | ||
| And it's like, you guys were, and that's fucking terrible. | ||
| But at the same time, guys, Jesus, I'm not saying all Jewish people say that, but I've heard Jewish people say that about black people. | ||
| I've heard black people say, we don't give a fuck about the Holocaust. | ||
| It's not just white people, is my point, or the classic, stereotypical white people doing this. | ||
| It comes from all sides. | ||
| Mm-hmm. | ||
| You know, Italian people and Irish people will say, oh, big deal, we were in the ghettos when we first came here. | ||
| It's like, yeah, but it's just, everybody's got their different run through this, and there's a snowball effect that happens, and it's complicated. | ||
| Yeah, no, it's definitely complicated. | ||
| I mean, it would be nice if we could just judge people on who sucks and then figure out why they suck. | ||
| But you know what, man? | ||
| I wonder if it's even fucking possible to ever work it out. | ||
| I kind of feel like to the day humans stop, until the day we become something else. | ||
| I just don't see how there's ever going to be a universal group of people that gets it right. | ||
| No. | ||
| Any culture ever completely gets it right, where there's no fuckheads, there's no jealousy, there's no bullshit, there's no insecurity or nonsense or... | ||
| I think other countries on the planet have a shot at it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I don't think this one has a chance. | ||
| Who's got a shot at it? | ||
| Iceland or something like that? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Somewhere there's only 100 people? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| I think Canada might have a shot, you know? | ||
| They do better than us, I'll tell you that. | ||
| Yeah, I think other countries... | ||
| Might have a shot at complete harmony amongst people of any color, whatever. | ||
| It will never happen here. | ||
| It will never happen here. | ||
| This country is built on a disgusting foundation. | ||
| There are too many skeletons in the closet. | ||
| There's too much dirt, too much pain. | ||
| It's just built on too much pain and turmoil and deceit and whatever. | ||
| And it's like when you start something like that, when you start the practice like that, steal the land, steal the people... | ||
| So we can prosper. | ||
| How could it ever bounce back? | ||
| Because that just will continue and continue and continue and snowball and snowball and snowball until you have these seemingly unfixable problems. | ||
| Seemingly unfixable. | ||
| And I don't say that to take hope away from anybody that's in a dire situation. | ||
| I think all these things are able to be risen above on an individual level. | ||
| On an individual level. | ||
| On individual levels. | ||
| But I mean, for God's sakes, it's like we have... | ||
| You look at the situations in the inner cities because of all these different factors that we're talking about and how it began and how it got to where it is now and everything. | ||
| It's like, how could you ever, in a million years, rectify that? | ||
| Alright, let me tell you this. | ||
| What if you're the president? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| President DeRosa. | ||
| All of a sudden they say, we've decided to, you know, start electing stand-up comedians. | ||
| They have good philosophical points. | ||
| Like, what would you do? | ||
| What would you do to try to fix shit? | ||
| Do you have any answers? | ||
| Or do you just look at it and go, it's all fucked up? | ||
| Do you ever, like, go past it's all fucked up? | ||
| Do you ever, like, see if I was going to do something about it, what would I do? | ||
| I have a very hard time seeing past... | ||
| Yeah, this would be my one suggestion. | ||
| It would be... | ||
| Strive for individual success. | ||
| Strive for individual success. | ||
| Because when you try everybody, everybody, I think, just by default, I don't know what it is, I guess it's just survival tactics or whatever, we all sort of have that run-with-the-pack mentality. | ||
| It's like when you're growing up, no matter what kind of neighborhood you live in, whether it's a suburb or the projects or in a fucking country dirt road, on a country dirt road. | ||
| Excuse me. | ||
| There's always the one kid that's maybe going places, and that one kid always gets the same advice. | ||
| You want to go anywhere? | ||
| You better stop hanging around with these fucking knuckleheads that you're running around with, because these guys are going to hold you back. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because for some reason in anybody's community, the mentality, the notion is stick together. | ||
| If you leave, that means you think you're better. | ||
| That means you think you're different. | ||
| Dude, it happened to me, and I'm from the fucking suburbs. | ||
| So it's not just a thing you hear about... | ||
| in rap songs when guys are talking about people in the projects trying to hold them back. | ||
| It's a thing that happens all over. | ||
| So if I was the president I were the president. | ||
| I would say to people, strive for independent success. | ||
| Stop worrying about what's happening to the people. | ||
| I'm not saying like in a callous way, fuck the people around you. | ||
| Be concerned about your community. | ||
| But strive for independent success because you're not going to be able to fix the problem from within. | ||
| You have to get out and fix it from the outside. | ||
| And if enough people can get out and start to assist from the outside, then there's a chance. | ||
| There's a chance of fixing this. | ||
| There's a chance. | ||
| He's trying to break up the neighborhood. | ||
| That's what I heard. | ||
| See? | ||
| Just fucking DeRose is trying to break up the neighborhood. | ||
| I was laughing from Ron and Fez about it. | ||
| Like, Philly. | ||
| And he's like, we were just laughing about trying to get out of Philly and the suburbs around Philly and stuff. | ||
| And guys just being like, where are you going? | ||
|
unidentified
|
We got these sandwiches. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And it's like, we were laughing. | ||
| Because it's just like... | ||
| Yeah, I would have people be so fucking passive-aggressive with me, and it took years. | ||
| And then when I started to find a little bit of success in the business, people that I was friends with would say things to me like, Fuck you, dude. | ||
| Oh, Mr. Fucking Comedian's back in town. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is just shit people do wherever you live. | |
| They don't always do that, though. | ||
| There's a lot of people that don't do that, but... | ||
| I know. | ||
| There's a little bit of that crabs-in-a-bucket shit going on on the East Coast. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| East Coast more so, I think, and I... We've talked about this before, but I believe it's because they're the children of immigrants that, like, almost everyone on the East Coast is... | ||
| The grandfathers or the great-grandfathers came over from Europe or some other country, landed on the East Coast, and stayed there. | ||
| Whereas by the time people got to the West Coast, they were a bit more progressive, people more wanderlust, more people looking for different options. | ||
| See, I don't totally agree. | ||
| I think it happens here in a very different way. | ||
| How's it happen here? | ||
| I think here, there's a massive, I'd say almost bleeding heart, liberal mentality, and At least from what I've experienced here, as being somebody who needs to assimilate into this system that's here, you know what I mean? | ||
| I'm not to a point in my life where I can just go off and do my own thing and be okay. | ||
| I still need to meet the right people and... | ||
| And kind of work my way into the system and all that stuff and familiarize myself with them. | ||
| And I find that there is a very, very, very, like I said, almost bleeding heart mentality here. | ||
| And it feels like the same thing to me, except in the other direction. | ||
| Where it's like, don't go against the pack. | ||
| Don't say that. | ||
| Don't you dare say that. | ||
| Let me just clarify. | ||
| You're talking about show business. | ||
| Well, in my LA experience, but I think the city itself, I think at least Southern California, I think there's a certain common mentality that exists here. | ||
| Like, hey, you can't act that way. | ||
| That's too edgy, meaning on edge, not meaning you're saying edgy things. | ||
| But the majority of the people that you're communicating with are show business people though, right? | ||
| Probably, yeah. | ||
| The problem with the show business that you're communicating with, you're talking about people on television and things along those lines, is that there's a lot of people trying to get people to hire them for things. | ||
| Trying to get people to cast them in shows. | ||
| Trying to get people to give them deals. | ||
| Trying to get people to like them. | ||
| And the way to get people to like them is to subscribe to whatever popular opinions these people subscribe to. | ||
| And in show business, it's almost universally liberal. | ||
| And that's one of the things that people like Charlton Heston or John Voight or Clint Eastwood have always complained about. | ||
| These are the rare Hollywood conservatives because everyone in Hollywood is liberal. | ||
| And I think that there's some valid... | ||
| I think it's also the nature of the beast itself, where you want people to like you. | ||
| You want people to accept you. | ||
| And there's a lot of fake fucks out here because of that. | ||
| Because the business itself, it sort of rewards fakery. | ||
| It rewards conformity. | ||
| And the conformity, a lot of it, is this sort of left-wing, liberal thinking. | ||
| So, and what I'm saying is, and I agree with you. | ||
| That's how they get work. | ||
| And I agree with you. | ||
| Uh... | ||
| What I'm saying is, though, I think that mentality exists everywhere. | ||
| It can, sure. | ||
| That I want people to like me. | ||
| It's survival. | ||
| It's survival. | ||
| I think there's a Carlin line where he says, species' first interest is always survival. | ||
| I just think that's a thing. | ||
| It's why whenever any one of us is at a party and we're outnumbered in opinion, Whether it's a political discussion or a fucking discussion about people think Katy Perry's the best. | ||
| Whatever. | ||
| That's when you just have to just walk away. | ||
| Well, sure. | ||
| The best what? | ||
| She's got great tits. | ||
| We're done. | ||
| We're basically done now. | ||
| But you won't walk away, sure. | ||
| But I'm saying most of us feel that you tense up and you go, I don't want to say I don't really like Katy Perry's tits. | ||
| Because now everybody in the room is going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? | ||
| Do you see what I'm saying? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I might be putting too fine a point on it. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Yeah, I know what you're saying, though. | ||
| I know what you're saying. | ||
| There's definitely a strong urge to conform. | ||
| It's part of being a human being, and yeah, you're right. | ||
| It's part of, like, the only way you can ensure your survival is that you're a part of a group. | ||
| I mean, that's ingrained in our DNA, because at one point in time, that's how we survived. | ||
| Marauding tribes would come into our villages. | ||
| You had to stay united as a united front. | ||
| And I think it's a stronger urge in these places where, you know, like in Philly and places along those lines, where, you know, these communities stay intact. | ||
| Whereas in LA, there's more wandering. | ||
| LA, everyone's transient. | ||
| They came here from another place. | ||
| They move around. | ||
| And I don't think it's the same thing. | ||
| But there's definitely, like, Brian posted that thing up. | ||
| I don't know if you saw it, but they did a Twitter map of hate speech, East Coast to West Coast. | ||
| And racial and harsh. | ||
| Yeah, look at it. | ||
| It's overwhelmingly East Coast. | ||
| Overwhelmingly. | ||
| And I personally, this is just my own theory. | ||
| It's probably like Michael Jackson doesn't have any balls theory. | ||
| It probably sucks. | ||
| But I think that a lot of that has to do with the spread of immigration. | ||
| And that my own experience with immigrants, my grandparents were immigrants. | ||
| And I grew up in New Jersey and then in Boston, and I grew up around a lot of immigrants, people that were children of immigrants or grandchildren of immigrants. | ||
| And I think that that's a lot of what happens. | ||
| I think there's just a trap. | ||
| And it's not as bad as a trap that's in the impoverished black communities, but it's still a very similar trap as far as a behavioral trap. | ||
| People are fucking strange, man, because it took a lot of work to get to 2014 with all the rhinos and lions and fucking poisonous bugs and all the shit that's out there that can fuck you up. | ||
| It took a long time and a lot of work for us to get to where we are today with lava lamps and laptops and shit. | ||
| We had to get our way through a lot of things and we had to stay protected while we innovate. | ||
| Here's a crazy thing, totally off subject, but I think we've beaten this to death anyway. | ||
| They found a huge underground reservoir recently that holds three times as much water as the Earth's oceans. | ||
| What? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| How's that possible? | ||
| Well, it's on fucking Nova, okay? | ||
| This is a PBS website that has this. | ||
| It's unbelievable. | ||
| This is an unbelievable discovery. | ||
| It's a study that was published in Science Magazine that Earth's water may have been there all along, oozing out gradually from the rock deep in the crust, Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| comets. | ||
| The comets, when you see a comet streaking across the sky, what you're seeing is melting ice. | ||
| You're seeing enormous, you know, miles wide chunks of ice that are flying through space and the trail, the tail of the comet is actually ice being, you know, evaporating as these things fly through the air. | ||
| So this is this new study that they have found, this water in these subterranean... | ||
| I don't know how it... | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| It's called subterranean woodite, ringwoodite. | ||
| R-I-N-G-W-O-O-D-I-T-E. I don't know what that means. | ||
| A deep blue mineral chemically similar to peridot, a green mineral often used in jewelry and that it's been found in meteorites. | ||
| And this ringwoodite came from the transition zone between the upper and lower mantle about 400 miles below the Earth's surface. | ||
| It's about 15% of the weight of this stuff turned out to be water. | ||
| It says if a lot of this water-heavy mineral existed underground, scientists reasoned that there might be enough water to explain where Earth's oceans came from. | ||
| And so then they started doing these studies and tried to figure this out, and they found this insane amount of water below the Earth's surface. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| What are they going to do with the water? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| The layer holds three times as much water as all the Earth's oceans combined. | ||
| It's incredible. | ||
| So it reduced the... | ||
| Right now, people think that the Earth is 96% water, or 96% of the water is in the ocean. | ||
| Now they're saying it's only 24% of the water on Earth is in the ocean. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder if there's any life in that water. | ||
| I don't think so, because I think what they're saying, they're saying this ringwoodite stuff, it's that water is compressed in these minerals. | ||
| See, this is the exact way they word it. | ||
| Obviously, I'm an idiot, but bear with me. | ||
| A Northwestern University professor who led the study found water in subterranean ringwoodite, a deep blue mineral chemically similar to peridot, a green mineral often used in jewelry. | ||
| Until a sample turned up in 2008 in a diamond coughed up from a volcano, ringwoodite had only been found in meteorites. | ||
| The ringwoodite came from the transition zone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. | ||
| If a lot of this water-heavy mineral existed underground, so this water-heavy mineral is what contains all this water. | ||
| So I don't know if they can get it out of the water. | ||
| See, it sounds like, you know, you would hear that and you would say, oh, there's like rivers under the ocean. | ||
| I don't think they're saying that. | ||
| I think what they're saying is this water-heavy mineral is so dense in the Earth's Under the Earth's mantle that the amount of water in it is much more than the amount that's in the oceans. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Well, they're learning shit about the Earth, just the Earth, the thing we live on. | ||
| They're learning things every day. | ||
| All the data's not in yet. | ||
| It's a... | ||
| I find it incredibly overwhelming. | ||
| We just had that really long discussion about race and how complicated and how deep that all is. | ||
| And that's just a discussion pertaining to people in just this country. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Not even the people of the entire world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And now we're into a discussion about how we're learning about the actual earth. | ||
| And now there's three times more water here than we thought there were, whatever it is. | ||
| And it's so fucking over, like that discussion into that news piece, it's, I literally have the same feeling I had when I was at the Grand Canyon and I was like, I don't even exist. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I've never felt more like a speck of dust right now. | ||
| I'm completely overwhelmed. | ||
| I really mean that. | ||
| Well, then they keep finding these Goldilocks planets, these planets in the Goldilocks zone that are capable of supporting the same type of life that exists on Earth. | ||
| I mean, scientists say that life can exist in a bunch of different ways than they never thought before. | ||
| Like, they're finding life in these volcanic vents deep, deep, deep in the ocean where they never thought that any being could survive the extreme temperatures. | ||
| You know, they're essentially living off lava in the ocean floor. | ||
| These vents are giving birth to these weird kind of life forms. | ||
| What are the life forms like down there? | ||
| Some fucking creepy things. | ||
| Some creepy plant life and weird animal life. | ||
| But they found a new type of mushroom that was recent. | ||
| It's a recent study. | ||
| New mushroom that defies classification. | ||
| It's a new type of life and they just found it. | ||
| But with the animal, the lava animal thing, when you say animal life, do you mean literally animal life? | ||
| Well, you know, microscopic things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Microscopic stuff, yeah. | |
| Things that are alive. | ||
| Like this deep sea mushroom that they found. | ||
| This is a new one that they found. | ||
| This is off of the BBC Science and Environment page. | ||
| It's a mushroom-shaped sea animal discovered off an Australian coast that has defied classification in the tree of life. | ||
| So this is a new type of life form that they found. | ||
| This is fucking crazy shit, man. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Finding something like this is extremely rare. | ||
| It's maybe only happened four times in the last 100 years or so. | ||
| They don't know what it is. | ||
| They're like, what the fuck is this stuff? | ||
| It's like it's not quite a plant. | ||
| That's fucking wild. | ||
| Jesus Christ, that's literally Star Trek shit, when there would be plants with mouths and eyes. | ||
| That might be the beginning of something like that. | ||
| Well, you know, if you think about plants like Venus flytraps and shit like that, where they have carnivorous plants, at what point is a plant an animal? | ||
| I mean, when plants start fucking closing in on flies and eating them, I get it's a plant, but that's a predator. | ||
| It lays traps and it actually has action. | ||
| It moves. | ||
| I always wanted one of those. | ||
| Those are dope. | ||
| Do you have one? | ||
| No, but I should get them now that I bring it up. | ||
| I had one. | ||
| I had one. | ||
| It died. | ||
| I remember what happened. | ||
| And what do you do? | ||
| You have to buy flies to feed it? | ||
| Yeah, you have to have a shitty house. | ||
| Otherwise you'd be rude. | ||
| It's like you wouldn't have a cat and not have cat food. | ||
| If you have a Venus flytrap, you can't just fucking water it. | ||
| You gotta throw some flies in there. | ||
| I wonder what you do. | ||
| Do you buy dead flies? | ||
| Yeah, you probably buy dead flies to feed it or some kind of larva to feed it. | ||
| You'd have to hope that somebody left a window open otherwise. | ||
| But how cool would that be? | ||
| I'm such a jackass. | ||
| I keep looking at the fucking screen and then it... | ||
| Yeah, that's why I tell people... | ||
| That's why I've been asking you to shut these off lately. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| There's a plant that eats rats. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| I'm not kidding. | ||
| No, there's a plant. | ||
| I believe it's in the Amazon. | ||
| It captures rats. | ||
| It captures rats? | ||
| Yeah, it eats mice. | ||
| Yeah, Google it, Brian. | ||
| Rat-eating plant. | ||
| There's a video on wimp.com. | ||
| Don't play the video, because otherwise we'll get another fucking strike against us on YouTube. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What do you mean? | |
| It's so bizarre. | ||
| Every time we play videos or things, there's all these weird... | ||
| Is it supposed to be fair use, like when you're discussing something online? | ||
| It fits the boundaries of fair use, the definition of fair use, but people can still dispute it if you know it's fair use. | ||
| And then they put a hold on your YouTube video, and if it goes against you, you get a certain amount of them, they can pull your videos down. | ||
| It's just fucking stupid. | ||
| That is stupid. | ||
| There is a plant. | ||
| It's a carnivorous plant. | ||
| It eats frogs, it eats mice, it eats all kinds of different shit. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, if you just Google it. | ||
| It's called... | ||
| Here's a fucking name and a half, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ew, is that it? | |
| Yeah, it's called Nepenthes Attenborough. | ||
| Is it possible that you could put it up on the screen and not put it on the screen where the people at home see it? | ||
| Can you do that? | ||
| Meaning we watch it but they can't see it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you want to Google it, folks, just Google plant that eats rats. | ||
| That's what I did. | ||
| It's fucking incredible. | ||
| I swear to God, I thought you were yelling at him for a second, and I got super uncomfortable. | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| For a second? | ||
| Just now? | ||
| When you went, is it possible for you? | ||
| And I thought you were going to be like, is it possible for you not to fucking keep switching the screen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought that's what you were going to do, and I was like, oh Jesus, I don't want to see this happen. | |
| You're full with anxiety today, dude. | ||
| I am. | ||
| I am. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know. | |
| Do you get a lot of massages? | ||
| No, I get no massages. | ||
| You should get massages every day. | ||
| You should smoke weed every day. | ||
| Smoke weed every day. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Dude, if I... Look at this rat-eating plant, man. | ||
| The folks at home can't see this? | ||
| What are they seeing? | ||
| Just us? | ||
| It's a weird logo. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| So this is the fucking plant. | ||
| I guess it's growing here? | ||
| Is that what's going on here? | ||
| Yeah, this is it growing up. | ||
| So it gets to a certain size, and when it gets to a certain size, it's completely carnivorous. | ||
| It eats frogs, mice, it captures them. | ||
| It opens up this thing, and I believe it has a sweet fermented smell to it, and these things go in it because they think there's some food in there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ew. | |
| And it jacks them. | ||
| Is that a snake? | ||
| No. | ||
| That's its tentacles or whatever the fuck it is. | ||
| Jesus Christ, this is literally like Little Shop of Horrors shit. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers type shit. | ||
| That thing is fucking nasty looking. | ||
| It's enormous, too. | ||
| That's the weird thing about it. | ||
| It's an enormous, enormous thing. | ||
| That literally looks like a Star Trek plan. | ||
| Yeah, you would think that would be like from Avatar or something like that, right? | ||
| But it is a real thing. | ||
| Thank you for having a more recent reference than Star Trek. | ||
| That was the best sci-fi. | ||
| I'm terrible sometimes with references. | ||
| Now, is it going to show a rat go into it? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It will eventually show something go into it. | ||
| I forget. | ||
| I've seen this video. | ||
| But there's a bunch of videos of them online. | ||
| These are fairly recent discoveries, too. | ||
| I don't think they discovered it until the 2000s. | ||
| Yeah, here it is. | ||
| May 2010, the International Institute for Species Exploration at Arizona State University selected this Plant is one of the top ten new species described in 2009. So in 2009 they started finding that this thing is a real plant. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't understand how we didn't know about a plant until 2009. Oh, there's a lot of plants we still don't know about in the Amazon. | |
| That's incredible to me. | ||
| Well, the Amazon is so fucking big. | ||
| There's a weird distortion thing when you look at any sort of map. | ||
| Have you ever seen a realistic interpretation of the size of continents? | ||
| No. | ||
| Yeah, see if you can find that, Brian. | ||
| Realistic. | ||
| I'm learning a lot today. | ||
| Yeah, realistic size of continents. | ||
| Do you just read this shit constantly? | ||
| Yeah, I've got problems, man. | ||
| No, I'm not criticizing. | ||
| No, but I do. | ||
| I have problems. | ||
| It's not a problem. | ||
| I'm envious of your knowledge of all this stuff. | ||
| I really wish that I had a... | ||
| I don't know anything about sports. | ||
| I know nothing about sports. | ||
| I asked you before if that guy was the boxing champion that you mentioned. | ||
| Oh, Cain Velasquez. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't even know that. | ||
| I wish I knew. | ||
| I find this stuff so interesting and yet I never remember to read any of it and then I start to try to look it up and I can't remember. | ||
| Look how fucking big Africa is. | ||
| You can fit a whole United States in there, and a China, and an India, and Italy. | ||
| You can fit everything in Africa. | ||
| But how the maps were drawn, for reasons, it just appears smaller. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's crazy. | ||
| And that's the rainforest in the Congo, and the African rainforest, but there's also the South American rainforests. | ||
| They're massive. | ||
| The rainforest in Brazil and Peru and down there, I mean, there's so many plants. | ||
| And that's one of the reasons why these pharmaceutical companies keep going down there to try to explore and find out new plants that can provide new drugs and Good reasons for cancer medications and cure diseases and things along those lines. | ||
| And also, there's some of them that they're using for... | ||
| They're trying to do research on this ant. | ||
| There's an ant called the bullet ant. | ||
| One of the most painful stings in the world. | ||
| But... | ||
| It doesn't just sting you. | ||
| Oh, not the bullet ant. | ||
| Caps your ass. | ||
| It really fucks you up. | ||
| That one fucks you up. | ||
| They're trying to use that for something else. | ||
| I got it confused. | ||
| It's actually the Brazilian wandering spider I was going to bring up. | ||
| The Brazilian wandering spider is so fucked up. | ||
| It stings you. | ||
| It's in the jungle of Brazil. | ||
| It stings you and gives you an unbelievably painful erection to the point where if you survive, where a lot of people don't, if you survive, your dick is broken forever. | ||
| It'll never work it again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| It red lines your dick. | ||
| And it works in the same sort of way like Viagra works, where it gives you nitric oxide. | ||
| It produces some massive amount of nitric oxide in your body. | ||
| So all of your muscles become incredibly painful, like just massive agony. | ||
| Like think of like your whole body just... | ||
| Just red-lined all the time. | ||
| And your dick. | ||
| Your dick's hard as fuck. | ||
| And it breaks it. | ||
| It breaks your dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But you don't orgasm during this process. | |
| No, ever again. | ||
| I mean, maybe if you've stuck your finger up your ass while it was going down, you might be able to pull something off. | ||
| That's not making it gross. | ||
| Wouldn't be happy. | ||
| Wouldn't be a happy coming. | ||
| It'll be the last one. | ||
| Yeah, the... | ||
| That's fucked up. | ||
| What's that thing called? | ||
| It's called the Brazilian Wandering Spider. | ||
| And so these pharmaceutical companies are trying to figure out how to make that the new super Viagra. | ||
| Not that they need it. | ||
| Doesn't Viagra work? | ||
| Can't they just move on? | ||
| And the reason is they want to have something that's new. | ||
| It's like there's competing forces. | ||
| There's Viagra, then there's Cialis came along. | ||
| We last longer! | ||
| And then, you know, there's other ones. | ||
| We don't give you as much of a headache. | ||
| And then there's this one and that one. | ||
| And they're always trying to find some new one, but they're trying to figure out a way to use this evil, fucking murderous spider's venom and get your dick hard with it. | ||
| It's like that old Leary joke about cocaine, or crack. | ||
| It's like, this is the only country where cocaine wouldn't be fast enough. | ||
| Somebody needed something faster. | ||
| But that's how it is with those penis drugs. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| How much fucking stronger and faster does this need to get? | ||
| How much harder does your dick need to be? | ||
| It's an unnatural... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Erection. | ||
| I don't mean just because it's caused unnaturally. | ||
| I mean, the type of erection you get from it is fucking unnatural. | ||
| That's great. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Well, it's also if you found that. | ||
| Like, say if they found that. | ||
| They've isolated components in plants that can give you that. | ||
| What else is out there? | ||
| Is there something out there that makes kids grow taller? | ||
| Is there something out there that cures autism? | ||
| Is there something out there that makes your hair grow back? | ||
| Is there something out there that... | ||
| You know, there's so many hundreds of thousands of plants that are undiscovered. | ||
| I mean, there's just areas where they just don't go. | ||
| There's people don't get to. | ||
| The density of the rainforest is just so incredible. | ||
| I'm absolutely amazed that this spider, the wandering spider, can do this to you, and scientists are... | ||
| Forget, like, that it's even stronger than Viagra, but, like... | ||
| That scientists are like, let's fuck with that. | ||
| Let's see what we can get out of it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| No, leave that thing alone. | ||
| It's the worst thing in the world. | ||
| Leave it alone. | ||
| Unless you're going to try to make some kind of bioweapon with it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Leave it the fuck alone. | ||
| Yeah, it's one of the worst... | ||
| Apparently, one of the worst stings you can ever get. | ||
| One of the most toxic venoms that they've ever discovered. | ||
| A lot of people die from it, too. | ||
| That sounds horrible. | ||
| What a terrible world. | ||
| That's one of the things I don't like about the West Coast. | ||
| There's a much higher concentration of poisonous spiders and shit out there. | ||
| That was never a thing on the East Coast. | ||
| But I had a black widow in my house one day, and I was just like, what the fuck? | ||
| Twice now in my house, I've killed spiders that have clear spots on their tail. | ||
| Or not tail, but you know what I mean, the butt part, whatever that's called. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| One of them was a fucking black widow. | ||
| It had a big fucking dot on its back. | ||
| A big red thing underneath it? | ||
| It was red or white. | ||
| I can't remember which the black widow is, but whatever it is, it was that. | ||
| Yeah, they don't fuck with you. | ||
| You have to get near them and scare them for them to sting you, but they're goddamn everywhere out here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Oh, dude. | ||
| Black Widows are all over the place. | ||
| My back porch is literally, you can find 20 of them, and just sitting down. | ||
| They're everywhere. | ||
| I have so much trees and spiderwebs, and what sucks is at night I'll go out and have a cigarette, and I've walked through so many spiderwebs that I'm surprised that I... Did you ever get bit by one? | ||
| Probably. | ||
| I have to have. | ||
| Isn't a black widow very poisonous? | ||
| I think the brown widow is... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I know one of them is more poisonous than the other. | ||
| My ex-girlfriend's dog actually died from getting bitten by one of the widows. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Are we allowed to go to the bathroom on this show? | ||
| Yeah, go pee, man. | ||
| Go pee. | ||
| We'll talk about phones while you're gone. | ||
| Like, as you're talking about the hardest dick of all time, I have like a piss boater. | ||
| He's going to jack off in there. | ||
| I think he is. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| He's excited. | ||
| He's going to jack off to alleviate anxiety. | ||
| Did you check out the new iPhones and the new watch and all that stuff? | ||
| Yeah, they look pretty cool. | ||
| Did you hear about the Macworld staff? | ||
| Almost all of them got laid off today. | ||
| They had to work like crazy covering the launch of the new phones. | ||
| And then today, everybody got laid off. | ||
| The biggest Apple News day of the year. | ||
| And they laid off almost the entire staff. | ||
| Well, it's so... | ||
| I mean, that's ridiculous, but it's amazing that they even lasted this long, you know? | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean... | ||
| Because it's a magazine. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, magazines are so pointless nowadays. | ||
| You have to print it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| By the time you buy Macworld right now, it's not talking about the new iPhones. | ||
| It's not talking about all the news in the last month, even, probably. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's... | |
| Okay, it's going away. | ||
| What they're saying is Macworld.com will still continue, but Macworld print is gone. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Economic reality of running a print publication. | ||
| You know what they should do? | ||
| Bring back silent movies. | ||
| I heard they're making a comeback. | ||
| Do you guys know how to make smoke signals? | ||
| Sell smoke signals. | ||
| Yeah, they're going away. | ||
| Why is everybody sad? | ||
| It sucks that those folks lost their jobs, but what they should have done is just transition those writers into the Macworld.com thing. | ||
| They should have worked on it. | ||
| They were valuable employees. | ||
| And everybody's pissed off. | ||
| A lot of people are pissed off because they made these people work really hard and go crazy. | ||
| To, you know, to launch this new product and to cover the launch. | ||
| And that, you know, these people had this grueling day of marathon iPhone coverage. | ||
| And then they fired him. | ||
| They also were geeking the fuck out. | ||
| They're like, dude, we're at the Apple event. | ||
| This is so cool. | ||
| Let's take pictures and call it a job. | ||
| Yeah, there's always going to be a little of that, right? | ||
| There's going to be a little of that. | ||
| What I find interesting is the new... | ||
| Payment plans that they're introducing with this new iPhone where you're pretty much not going to have a credit card anymore. | ||
| You're not going to have your bank cards anymore. | ||
| You're just waving your phones and it's sending out a unique number to the cash register. | ||
| It's almost like how bitcoins are where it's interesting. | ||
| But does it have to work where the people at the cash register have to have a device to pick it up? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Do they have that already for Androids? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But before the launch, Apple was working with all the biggest credit card companies like Chase and Capital One and all that. | ||
| So a lot of big stores already have it. | ||
| I know there is versions of it that's existed already. | ||
| When I pay at Starbucks, I use my phone, but it scans it. | ||
| This is inside the phone. | ||
| I think it's called near-frequency NFS or something like that, where it sends out a signal. | ||
| It's actually a little... | ||
| Local, radio-based. | ||
| I wonder, like, if it has a limit. | ||
| Could you buy a car like that? | ||
| Could you go to a Ford dealership and pick up a Mustang? | ||
| You'll have your credit card, your AMX, American Express, black, or whatever you have. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| You would have it on your phone. | ||
| That would be dope as fuck to buy a car with your phone. | ||
| Yeah, it's weird. | ||
| I don't even know why I want to buy a car with my phone. | ||
| But I want to buy a car with my phone. | ||
| That seems so ridiculous. | ||
| So they're 4.7 inches and 5.5 inches as a new iPhone? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Congratulations, you finally caught up, you fucking idiots. | ||
| You should have done that a million years ago. | ||
| Jesus Christ, they're fucking iPads. | ||
| They've advanced the sync technology, which is nice, with that pass it off feature. | ||
| Put that back up to Brian. | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to try to find a better... | ||
| So the 4.7 inch, this is what, 4 inches? | ||
| The 5S? 4 inches, yes. | ||
| And I have a Samsung Galaxy S5, which is only, it's 5 inches. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's 5.5, I believe. | ||
| That's fucking giant. | ||
| That's as big as what I had. | ||
| I used to have the Note, which was like 5.7, I think. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Somewhere around then. | ||
| I think the Galaxy's 5.5 or 5.3. | ||
| It's bigger than the new iPhone. | ||
| I did a comparison. | ||
| The Galaxy's bigger? | ||
| The Note or the Galaxy S5? Well, the Galaxy is bigger than the regular iPhone 6. The iPhone 6 Extra Large or whatever the fuck it's called. | ||
| Deluxe. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I think is either the same size as the Galaxy or a little bigger. | ||
| Put that up again so I can see it. | ||
| Yeah, I'm trying to find better ones. | ||
| But I did a side-by-side with the regular new iPhone 6. And the Galaxy S5. Well, the good thing about the big one is that it's supposed to have two hours more of battery life. | ||
| Yeah, the battery's way better for some reason on the big one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Motherfuckers. | |
| They always get you with the big one. | ||
| Well, but, you know... | ||
| They've been saying this for every fucking iPhone that comes out. | ||
| They go, the battery's better now. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| It's never been better once. | ||
| It is better. | ||
| The issue is that you have more need for juice because you have 4G, LTE, and 3G, and Wi-Fi and all that stuff. | ||
| Things are more intensive, like programs, games. | ||
| They just use more juice. | ||
| So the batteries are better, but it depends on what you're using them for. | ||
| But they never break it down like that. | ||
| They always go, like this new one, they go, this new battery, 11 hours of video watching time. | ||
| It's like, yeah, no, that's what you said the last two phones. | ||
| And it's never that. | ||
| And then when you complain, they go, well, see, because you're Bluetooth. | ||
| Fuck you! | ||
| Fuck you, Apple! | ||
| There's a lot of reasons. | ||
| One of the biggest reasons is if you don't have good service in your house and it's always searching for signals and stuff like that. | ||
| Wi-Fi and all that stuff is the thing that drains you out. | ||
| Because you'll have your Wi-Fi on your phone and then you'll go to Chili's and so the whole time it's like trying to search for Wi-Fi. | ||
| You don't even realize that it's just draining your battery. | ||
| It's amazing what just simple turning on airplane mode does to your... | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| Turning off Wi-Fi, turning off Bluetooth, turning off... | ||
| Yeah, some people turn off 4G, right? | ||
| They just use 3G? Yeah. | ||
| That's dumb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What about your cunts? | |
| It's terrible. | ||
| If you try to go online with 3G now, you're so spoiled. | ||
| Aubrey, my friend Aubrey has a Tesla. | ||
| It's fucking dope. | ||
| It's the most ridiculous car, those crazy electric cars. | ||
| And is this the phone? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He has a crazy electric car, and we're not showing that where we get pulled, are we? | ||
| No, no, it's just... | ||
| Just for us? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| His Tesla, his car has a giant screen, man. | ||
| This huge screen. | ||
| It's like a laptop. | ||
| Bigger than a laptop. | ||
| It's like an iMac that's in the middle of the console. | ||
| And that's where everything is. | ||
| It doesn't have any buttons. | ||
| Everything is all touchscreen on this thing, and you talk to it. | ||
| Like, he could say, play Joe DeRosa comedy. | ||
| And it'll go to Spotify. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it'll go, why? | |
| Why? | ||
| I'm going to come over there and hug you. | ||
| We were in the car and he said, say anything. | ||
| I go, Arctic Monkeys. | ||
| So he goes, play Arctic Monkeys. | ||
| He goes, finds it on Spotify, brings up a list of songs, he presses play and starts playing an Arctic Monkeys song. | ||
| But it's 3G. And I was like, where's the 4G, bitch? | ||
| You ain't got no 4G up in this motherfucker? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's no G. 3G is like, it's kind of slow. | |
| 3G is no G. What is that? | ||
| Here's the, it's talking about the new camera that's in the iPhone, but here's interesting, the new payment thing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Check this out. | |
| With iPhone 6, we're introducing Apple Pay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hmm. | |
| A fast, easy, secure mobile payment system. | ||
| I don't think this pay thing is a great idea. | ||
| I think it's awesome, and you can pay with your dick. | ||
| Because if you use your thumb for thumb recognition, you can use your dick for dick recognition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You'll find a unique pattern on your skin of your cock, and then you can buy things with your cock. | ||
| Listen, it's... | ||
| Did you not hear me? | ||
| No, I heard you. | ||
| I've been rubbing my dick on my phone for years. | ||
| What do you think bad about it? | ||
| I remember years ago, Burr goes, he goes, they're moving in all the phone, dude. | ||
| They're moving in all the fucking phone. | ||
| And then the second the government decides they want to shut you down, boom, you're done. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| And it's happening now. | ||
| I used to be like, you're nuts. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| And now it's finally happening. | ||
| It's like, your life is on that fucking phone. | ||
| Your life. | ||
| But you choose to put your life on that phone. | ||
| I mean, there's a lot of things on that phone, but you can do whatever you want, man. | ||
| You don't have to jump along. | ||
| You could be that guy that lives up in fucking Big Bear. | ||
| You got a cabin somewhere, and you chop your own wood, and you got a water well. | ||
| You could be that guy if you really wanted to. | ||
| You just have to move towards that. | ||
| You gotta jump along, dude. | ||
| Jump along? | ||
| You gotta. | ||
| You said you don't have to jump along. | ||
| You gotta jump along. | ||
| Do you want a watch? | ||
| Look at the watch. | ||
| No, this is fucking retarded. | ||
| I think it's stupid. | ||
| I think if it catches on like the iPhone did, everyone has it. | ||
| It's going to make so much more sense because being able to just go to your wrist, be like, give me directions, talk to your wrist. | ||
| There's also this interesting technology in it. | ||
| If you have a phone on, Joe, or if you have a wrist on and you're my contacts... | ||
| I can send you private messages just to your... | ||
| Like, hey, check out the chick going through the door right now. | ||
| Or send you a quick drawing of something. | ||
| Only you would have to use it for creeping on people. | ||
| It won't be suspicious at all as you're staring at your watch and your lips are moving. | ||
| I like that it works with a winder thing. | ||
| It doesn't have a touch screen. | ||
| The winder thing is how they use it. | ||
| That little thing is a handle... | ||
| Yeah, the knob on the side is... | ||
| It's going to be interesting, though, because it seems like that could cause also problems if you hit it and it sends a phone call. | ||
| Takes pictures and starts fucking looking for directions to the moon. | ||
| Directions on your wrist that are tiny, it just doesn't seem convenient to me. | ||
| That seems goofy, but I like the heart rate monitor thing. | ||
| Ooh, it's got different bands, too? | ||
| It's got three different models. | ||
| There's actually a gold one, which is rumored to be maybe even over thousands of dollars. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| And they have a sport edition, which is like a rubber, like more... | ||
| Show me the diamond-encrusted one for rappers. | ||
| Is there a diamond-encrusted one for rappers? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Not yet. | ||
| I'm going to get into that business tomorrow. | ||
| Call my accountant. | ||
| Put all the money in diamonds and watches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I don't know, man. | |
| I just think it's just kind of pointless. | ||
| I love how they use an English guy to sell it. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| Because you can't use a guy from New York. | ||
| Check out this gold edition. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Metallurgists have developed to be up to twice as hard as standard gold. | |
| They've developed to be up to twice as hard as standard gold. | ||
| You can't have that. | ||
| Nobody would trust them. | ||
| You have to have some guy from another land. | ||
| Well, maybe they're different in this other land called England. | ||
| I want to hear one of them sell this product. | ||
| It sounds much more respectable. | ||
| I see that knob breaking a lot. | ||
| That's the next broken iPhone. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| This broken knob here. | ||
| Stop working? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Could be. | ||
| I mean, the one thing about Apple is they're pretty good about testing shit pretty rigorously before they release it. | ||
| I guess the biggest problem is... | ||
| Seven. | ||
| But the biggest problem is that the battery they're not happy with. | ||
| Because right now, supposedly, it's rumored the battery lasts about a day. | ||
| And they want it, you know, days. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And when they say a day, does that mean a day with you using it? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Or a day with a regular, normal person who has a job using it? | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| And they say a day on the iPhones, too. | ||
| And it's nowhere fucking near it. | ||
| I'm going to make... | ||
| The best point that anybody has made about this right now on this show. | ||
| Here's why that's a dumb idea. | ||
| The new iPhone has a significantly bigger screen for a fucking reason. | ||
| This is a completely tiny, completely inconvenient screen. | ||
| Who the fuck wants that? | ||
| Everybody wants a device that's easier to use. | ||
| This is like when they did the iPod Nano and they tried to put it all on the screen and it was too fucking small. | ||
| I'll tell you why. | ||
| This is as easy as it is. | ||
| You have your phone in your pocket. | ||
| You're talking to somebody. | ||
| You have a little vibrate on your hand. | ||
| You look down. | ||
| Joe's calling me. | ||
| Is it vibrating in your pocket? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Or is it vibrating in your hand, too? | ||
| You could turn it on both if you want. | ||
| What if a girl's giving you a handjob and you feel your dick vibrate and she starts looking at her wrist and she wants to stop? | ||
| That would be annoying. | ||
| Somebody else is texting her, cock-blocking you. | ||
| I mean, this is what I'm talking about. | ||
| Nobody thinks ahead. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm thinking ahead. | |
| We got a ton. | ||
| Yeah, we got five minutes. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Joe DeRosa. | ||
| This was fun. | ||
| What was this, about six, seven hours? | ||
| Three hours. | ||
| We did three hours. | ||
| Was it a full three? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I had a great time. | ||
| It was fun, man. | ||
| I felt like it was all different types of things were happening today. | ||
| Yeah, I hope we alleviated any anxiety that might have come up. | ||
| Oh, that's me, dude. | ||
| That's all me. | ||
| That's not you. | ||
| I hope it didn't escalate it. | ||
| Every social interaction for me is Vietnam. | ||
| I'm taking this home with me. | ||
| This is going to be an all-night thing. | ||
| Don't worry about it. | ||
| Do a set tonight. | ||
| Are you working while you're in town? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Everybody's being very nice to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay, cool. | |
| You know, the Death Squad guys have welcomed me with open arms, which I'm very appreciative for. | ||
| Thank you, guys. | ||
| Where can people find you this weekend? | ||
| Are you in town? | ||
| Are you working? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Tomorrow? | |
| I don't even know. | ||
| I'm just doing spots around town this weekend, but if I'm going to plug something, I really would like to plug my new album, Mistakes Were Made, The B-Sides. | ||
| On iTunes and Amazon, $10. | ||
| When's that available? | ||
| It's available now. | ||
| Okay, beautiful. | ||
| Double-length album of rarities from the last seven years. | ||
| Oh, nice. | ||
| And then my podcast, which you can get on my website or on iTunes. | ||
| It's called Down with Joe DeRosa. | ||
| I'd love to have more people come and listen. | ||
| I talk about one topic for an hour, usually by myself. | ||
| Excellent. | ||
| And all that stuff, I'll retweet that right now. | ||
| I'm retweeting it right now. | ||
| Thanks, brother. | ||
| And the site is Joe DeRosa Comedy? | ||
| JoeDeRosaComedy.com. | ||
| You can find all this stuff there. | ||
| That's also his Twitter, JoeDeRosaComedy. | ||
| And thanks, brother. | ||
| That was fun, man. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| I had a blast. | ||
| Thank you so much. | ||
| And thanks to our sponsors. | ||
| Shit, I don't have it in front of me right now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hold on. | |
| Blue Apron, which is a service that they send you ingredients. | ||
| Yeah, you don't have to. | ||
| We just have to save it. | ||
| What the thing is. | ||
| Where they have to go. | ||
| Okay, here it is. | ||
| Blueapron.com forward slash Rogan. | ||
| Get your first two meals for free. | ||
| Go to blueapron.com forward slash Rogan. | ||
| Thanks also to Dollar Shave Club. | ||
| Go to dollarshaveclub.com slash Rogan. | ||
| That's dollarshaveclub.com slash Rogan. | ||
| And last but not least, we're brought to you by Stamps.com. | ||
| Go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone in the upper right-hand corner, and use the code word JRE for your $110 bonus offer, which includes free digital scale and up to $55 of free postage. | ||
| And last but not least, Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, a human optimization website. | ||
| Use the code word ROGAN. Save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Alright, I'll be back tomorrow with Tim Burnett from Solo Hunters. | ||
| And that's it. | ||
| Much love. | ||
| Big kiss. | ||
| See you soon. | ||
| Ice House is sold out this weekend, so you snoozed. | ||
| There's a Thunder Pussy you can go to. | ||
| Oh, Thunder Pussy's there as well. | ||
| Friday night. | ||
| See ya. |
Export Selection