June 3, 2013 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:47:30
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Hey, you fucking freaks. | ||
| This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. | ||
| Stamps.com, which is right now the only way Brian sells those kitty cat t-shirts that you see, those Death Squad shirts from DeathSquad.tv. | ||
| He actually uses Stamps.com, so we know it's a good product. | ||
| If you use the code word JRE, there's a little microphone in the upper right-hand corner, one of those old-schooly microphones. | ||
| For whatever reason, that's like the cool microphone. | ||
| I don't know why. | ||
| I never got that. | ||
| But regular microphones don't get nearly enough fucking credit. | ||
| There's something sexy about those old school Frank Sinatra in the 1930s back when people were dumb as fuck. | ||
| That was a really awesome microphone. | ||
| That's like a talk show mic. | ||
| Yeah, it's classy. | ||
| If you click on that and enter in the code word JRE, there's a special offer. | ||
| You get all kinds of cool shit like a free scale and $80 and $25 in postage coupons. | ||
| If you look at the website, go to stamps.com and then click on the thing and enter in the code word JRE. It'll fill you in on all the details about the offer. | ||
| The way it is, I have it says $110 bonus offer. | ||
| Why does it say $80? | ||
| Because normally, just a normal person that goes to stamps.com only gets that $80 offer. | ||
| But if you type in or you click on that microphone and type in JRE, you get an even better offer. | ||
| Then you get a $110 offer. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I got confused. | ||
| I was like, did they lower it? | ||
| I hate when people lower it. | ||
| I don't want to call them out on it because they're our customers or their customers or something like that working together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Anyway, if you go to stamps.com, what it allows you to do is you measure all your shit. | ||
|
unidentified
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Like, say if you sell things, like, you know, send things online. | |
| You measure all your shit at home. | ||
| You put your little sticker on it. | ||
| Boom. | ||
| Postman picks it up. | ||
| You don't have to go to the mailbox. | ||
| You don't have to weigh in line. | ||
| You don't have to weigh your shit. | ||
| You could do it all right there. | ||
| Print up your own postage and be done with that whole process. | ||
| Use the code word JRE and save yourself some money. | ||
| All right, you fucks. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| That's O-N-N-I-T. If you haven't been to the website, we don't know what the fuck to call the company, so we call it a human performance enhancement company, if that makes any sense. | ||
| Human performance company. | ||
| The whole company is just focused on shit that makes your body work better, exercise equipment that's the best for functional strength. | ||
| Nutritional supplements that are best for recovery and for cognitive function and endurance and all that shit. | ||
| All of it is very healthy stuff. | ||
| It's like whatever we feel like we would buy, whatever we feel like we would use, what I think is beneficial as far as exercise equipment or vitamins or supplements. | ||
| That's the kind of stuff we sell. | ||
| We just try to sell you the best shit we can find. | ||
| And if you use the code name ROGAN, you save 10% off any and all supplements. | ||
| Any shows coming up? | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to be at, not Brea, but what's the other one? | ||
| Ontario? | ||
| No, no, Brea. | ||
| I'm going to be in Brea. | ||
| Not Brea, but what? | ||
| Yeah, it's Brea Improv? | ||
| Is that what you're doing? | ||
| Yeah, I'm going to be at Brea Improv and I'm going to Toronto next month and Comic-Con 2013. All the shit can be found at DeathSquad.tv or my Twitter is RedBan. | ||
| Yeah, and all my shit, all my upcoming dates are all on JoeRogan.net. | ||
| Alright, let's just bail on this. | ||
| Everlast is here, goddammit. | ||
| Commercial is now officially over. | ||
|
unidentified
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Music by Ben | |
| Thede Music by Ben Thede Sittin' in a pearl white air ride-o. | ||
| In a gangsta lean, she was revving the throttle. | ||
| Got a sticker on the bumper, says she like Tejano. | ||
| She look like Selena. | ||
| The truth couldn't be plainer She like a gangster boogie Her poppy calls a cookie Her friends call her a sad girl Cause a man went away And he ain't never coming back, girl Cry another tattoo tear I seen her at the market, she was pushing a stroller. | ||
|
unidentified
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Smoking on a cigarette, drinking a soda. | |
| Laughing at a joke that somebody just sold her. | ||
| Got a baby's name tattooed on the back of her shoulder. | ||
| She looked like an angel, yeah. | ||
| She talked like the devil. | ||
| She lived like a stranger. | ||
| She lived like a rebel. | ||
| She's a sad girl cause a man went away and he ain't never coming back, girl. | ||
| Cry another tattoo to you, yeah. | ||
| Sad girl living on the east side of the city. | ||
| Proud woman, boy, she don't want none of your pity. | ||
| Sad girl got no one to rely on. | ||
| Proud woman don't need your shoulder to cry on. | ||
| But she could use a little right now. | ||
| Pack a grocery. Pack a grocery. | ||
| Pack a grocery. | ||
| but I only just met her. | ||
| But I could tell she'd been crying. | ||
| She said she felt like dying. | ||
| She never been so alone, no. | ||
| She got to make it all alone, no. | ||
| She's a sad girl, cause a man went away and he never coming back. | ||
|
unidentified
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Girl, cry another tattoo to you, yeah. | |
| Sad girl living on the east side of the city. | ||
| Proud woman, boy, she don't want none of your pity, no. | ||
| Sad girl got no one to rely on. | ||
| Proud woman don't need your shoulder to cry on. | ||
| She could use a little red now. | ||
| In the back of Bruce Willis. | ||
| She's a sad girl cause a man went away and he ain't never coming back. | ||
| Powerful Everlast. | ||
| Dude, so great to have you back man, that was awesome. | ||
| Thank you sir. | ||
| Mr. Brian Belasco joining me. | ||
| Brian, what's up? | ||
|
unidentified
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Hi, how you doing? | |
| Gentlemen, what's happening? | ||
| You know. | ||
| These are strange times. | ||
| It's good to have a man like Everlast around. | ||
| Trying to be, trying to be, trying to make it happen. | ||
| These are strange times, my friend. | ||
| Every day. | ||
| How you been? | ||
| Good. | ||
| Living, loving. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Surrounded by crazy women. | ||
| That's how life... | ||
| You could say that, you've probably had a fun life. | ||
| I'm surrounded by completely insane women. | ||
| The ones that are not crazy are not fun to be around, unfortunately. | ||
| Just had a new one, you know, got a three-month-old at home. | ||
| Congratulations, man. | ||
| Thank you, yeah. | ||
| Everything's going good, man. | ||
| You know, I just turned around, bling my eyes. | ||
| Has it been a year? | ||
| It's probably been about a year. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
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I think so. | |
| Somewhere around then. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Too long. | ||
| Too long. | ||
| Yeah, this is the first time at this place, too. | ||
| Made an acoustic record we're going to have, just because of y'all, really. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| When does that come out? | ||
| Like, August sometime. | ||
| I don't have the exact date, but y'all will have it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| So you started doing acoustic shows. | ||
| You know, I would do acoustic stuff, like walk in the radio station, promote your record. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then, like... | ||
| Came and did your podcast the first time, didn't do any music. | ||
| I mean, people were still super loved, you know what I mean? | ||
| And then that second time when I came and did music the first time, I kind of busted the cherry of the Joe Rogan show in the musical world also. | ||
| You did, sir. | ||
| You know, like, the reaction was ridiculous, man. | ||
| I mean, we've been doing acoustic tours, like, you know what I mean? | ||
| Like, literally, like, we toured all of Europe in the winter and sold out a lot of shows. | ||
| There's a lot of Joe Rogan lovers out in Europe, too, man. | ||
| But, you know, man, there's something really cool about acoustic music. | ||
| There's something really cool about when you're doing a song and it's just you and your guitar and that's it, you know, or in a keyboard backup or whatever, when you're right there doing it live and raw like that, We're good to go. | ||
| A dude with a guitar with a voice like yours and a guy who's always writing, man. | ||
| That's what I dig about you. | ||
| You're always writing. | ||
| You've always got new shit. | ||
| You're always coming in here with new songs. | ||
| You're always working, man. | ||
| You're just always putting in the work when it comes to music. | ||
| You know, I mean, you make people laugh. | ||
| You go look for crazy shit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's something your soul tells you you got to do. | ||
| Making money at it is the bonus. | ||
| But there is the honest side of it that it's like, if I don't wake up and hustle something out of nothing, out of thin air, you know, then rent might not get paid in six months. | ||
| That's true, too. | ||
| And we've all seen people drop off. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| Once you're moving, you got to keep moving. | ||
| You know, more money, more problems, you know? | ||
| You know, another thing is, I said something to Ari. | ||
| I want a whole lot of fucking problems. | ||
| I hear you, dude. | ||
| Yeah, anybody who doesn't want those problems, don't be silly. | ||
| They're better than the starving problems. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| I was telling Ari Shafir that, you know, we were talking about, like, writing material. | ||
| And we just, in the middle of the conversation, I realized, I'm like, you know, if you're an Ari Shafir fan, you're the only one who could deliver it. | ||
| Like, it's your responsibility. | ||
| You have, like, thousands of Ari Shafir fans, but you're the only one who can deliver you. | ||
| Like, your particular style of comedy, what you look like, the way you speak, you're the only one. | ||
| This is it. | ||
| So for someone who's an Everlast fan, you're the only one. | ||
| There's no other Everlast out there. | ||
| You're the only guy who can produce Everlast material. | ||
| So that's like a giant responsibility. | ||
| And if you're a fan, you want to tap into a dude who's always creating new shit. | ||
| That way you know if you become a junkie. | ||
| Like if you're a Leonard Skinner junkie, fuck man. | ||
| That fucking plane crash was a long ass time ago. | ||
| But if you're an Everlast fan, you're always bagging out new shit, you know? | ||
| You know, we working. | ||
| Trying to be like you, man. | ||
| I don't even know what that means, but thanks. | ||
| I'm not even trying to be like me. | ||
| I'm just trying to make sense of the whole fucking thing. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| Have you seen the thing that's going down right now in Turkey? | ||
| Do you know what's happening? | ||
| Oh, the riots? | ||
| Yeah, there's a rebellion, massive rebellion in Turkey. | ||
| I have not read much about it. | ||
| They're saying it's some sort of like an Occupy-style revolt, and I saw a photo of these people walking down the street, and it's insane. | ||
| It's like some end-of-the-world shit. | ||
| It's like, Brian, see if you can pull up the picture. | ||
| It's crazy, this picture, these people were walking down the street together. | ||
| I mean, it was overflowing with people. | ||
| It's like everyone was out there marching in protest. | ||
| It was like 100% of the people in the city. | ||
| And seeing them walking down the street, it's fucking craziness, man. | ||
| I don't exactly know what the fuck the story is, though. | ||
| It's kind of strange to me, too. | ||
| I mean, I don't know, maybe it's just my perception of things, but it seems like the less We are like that, like our country that used to be that kind of country, whenever people got into uproar, they'd protest. | ||
| I mean, it happens, but let's keep it real, it doesn't happen like it used to. | ||
| The more the rest of the world takes advantage of their freedom, like, the less we actually use ours at all. | ||
| Well, I think we're just so soft. | ||
| It's so safe here. | ||
| Well, when you can buy, like, you know, powdered donuts at 3.30 a.m., you know, at the Ralph's every other block, life gets easy. | ||
| That's not good for you, for things to be that easy. | ||
| No. | ||
| That's why, like, an easy job is probably one of the worst things you should ever... | ||
| You know, you don't want an easy job. | ||
| You don't want something that you can just half-brain it. | ||
| You will slowly rot away while these kids in Turkey are throwing Molotov cocktails at the cops and trying to take over the government. | ||
| But it's always going to be that, right? | ||
| Are we wishing good luck to them or not? | ||
| I don't know what exactly it's about. | ||
| I'm going to go with yes, just because I'm a rebel. | ||
| I'm down with that. | ||
| Brian, are you a rebel? | ||
| I'm going to go with yes, awesome. | ||
| Yeah, we're down with the young kids. | ||
| Well, you have a bomb on your hat, so... | ||
| By the way, being on the airplane with this hat was really uncomfortable. | ||
| I forgot that I had it on. | ||
| And it was just like right after the Boston bombings, too. | ||
| And I was like, why am I wearing this hat? | ||
| Good taste. | ||
| Good choice. | ||
| I know. | ||
| Did you have the camo jacket to go with it? | ||
| No. | ||
| Like the Duck Dynasty hunting jacket? | ||
|
unidentified
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No. | |
| With an empty scabbard. | ||
| Yeah, I checked my sword. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| What about those fucking guys that just hacked a dude up in... | ||
| Oh, yeah, in England. | ||
| That, to me, was like, what the fuck is wrong with the world, man? | ||
| It's really crazy. | ||
| Have you seen the video of the guy talking to the camera? | ||
| I didn't hear the talking, but I saw the image, but I didn't hear any of that. | ||
| I didn't hear, like, the rant or anything. | ||
| Yeah, I don't know what happened, man, but apparently it's something to do with religion. | ||
| Yeah, I'm kind of, you know, distant from religion. | ||
| I used to experiment in all kinds of them. | ||
| I don't reject any. | ||
| You were a Muslim for a while. | ||
| Well, I am. | ||
| I mean, I don't, you know, I don't practice because I just don't believe in organized religion at this point. | ||
| I do believe in God and I believe in a single creator and all that. | ||
| Do you? | ||
| But there's a lot of stories. | ||
| I don't believe in magic. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what I mean? | |
| Well, you know when I think about religion, you know, when I was a young man, I was forced into Catholic school. | ||
| And I don't believe in killing motherfuckers because my shit is right and yours is wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what I mean? | |
| Right. | ||
| Unless it's you're breaking into my house trying to steal my shit. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Then you're fair game. | ||
| Well, when I was a kid, I was forced to go to Catholic school. | ||
| And I hated religion for a long time after that. | ||
| I just thought it was ridiculous. | ||
| The nuns were cunts. | ||
| It was a mess. | ||
| It was just horrible. | ||
| I was raised Catholic. | ||
| Were you? | ||
| I got a story too. | ||
| Did you go to Catholic school? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For the longest time after that, I thought that religion was horseshit. | ||
| I thought, there's nothing in this. | ||
| But then as I got older, I realized that it's just because I had a terrible experience with it. | ||
| And if you look at a lot of the principles of religion, you've got to decipher the fact that people have been around for so long just telling stories. | ||
| And by the time it gets written on paper, people try to twist things the way that they would like it to be when it comes to translations and things like that, and it goes in different languages. | ||
| But the core of it all is people trying to figure out how to get along. | ||
| To connect. | ||
| Yeah, people trying to figure out how to express love. | ||
| People trying to figure out how to treat one as you would like to be treated. | ||
| The tenets for life that people figured out before they really knew much of anything about how the world works. | ||
| They had these ideas and they said they came from God. | ||
| You know, and whether or not anybody had a one-on-one experience with God, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, shit, who the fuck knows? | ||
| Just the fact that the earth exists at all is pretty fucking crazy as far as I'm concerned. | ||
| It's nuts, but I mean, I compare it to this. | ||
| It's like, I don't say I know anything about a God. | ||
| I have a sense that there's a higher power. | ||
| I have a sense of it. | ||
| You know, I feel like I do. | ||
| It's empowering to you. | ||
| I feel like there's something there, but can I understand it or explain it or define it? | ||
| Nah, man, because, you know, I always say, you know, somebody once told me that's like your shoe defining you. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, there's got to be a line between whatever a creator is and what a creation. | ||
| I don't even assume it human characteristics anymore. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I just take it as like, you know, kind of like whatever energy I'm following. | ||
| I never went to school for music. | ||
| I never planned to do any of this shit with my life. | ||
| And I don't say go around. | ||
| I'm not preaching or anything. | ||
| But I'm saying all I did was follow a certain path and energy. | ||
| And it led me through every religion. | ||
| It led me through every religion. | ||
| And by the time I got to Islam... | ||
| I took it into my life, and it's primarily about peace and love. | ||
| And then there's all this other subcultural, crazy stuff that goes on in these other places. | ||
| I approached it from a Western mind and a Western philosophy of, like, just this is a philosophy to deal with. | ||
| It's not like my clan didn't get murdered by that guy's Emam 14,000 or 1,400 years ago. | ||
| You know, there's all this sub stuff that goes on between these. | ||
| Sufis and Sunnis. | ||
| And that's when I was like, you know what? | ||
| Organized religion as a whole is garbage. | ||
| Because the minute there's organization to it, somebody's in charge and then there's power struggle. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's an individual thing. | ||
| Religion should be mine. | ||
| It's not even up for discussion. | ||
| Unless we're going to sit there and be like... | ||
| If I sat down with you, I know we could sit down and have a cool conversation. | ||
| But there's also... | ||
| 100,000 people that listen to this or millions of people that listen to this and, you know, you can't have a reasonable argument with every single one of them. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Well, I think that the idea of the organization, like, when you put something into a giant organization and you set rules up, all of a sudden things get weird. | ||
| You know, that's when people get into power and the influence gets manipulated and, you know... | ||
| Like, I tell people all the time, you consider me Muslim, but I'll go out tonight with you and we'll drink three whiskeys. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| Will you eat bacon? | ||
| What? | ||
| Will you eat better? | ||
| I'll eat pepperoni, yes. | ||
| Pepperoni? | ||
|
unidentified
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That's your pork of choice? | |
| My wife, the half-Jewish lady, reintroduced pepperonis into the life. | ||
| I made a moderation recently to the lyric was, I'll never eat a pig unless a pig is a cop. | ||
|
unidentified
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So it kind of just... | |
| It leaves a little open door. | ||
| I was in Seattle and some lady came to the show and gave me venison pepperoni that she had made with venison. | ||
| Her husband was a deer hunter. | ||
| God damn, it was good. | ||
| There was so much of it. | ||
| I ate it all. | ||
| Yeah, I always see you throwing shit on the grill on Instagram and just haven't got that call ever. | ||
| Like, come on over and have some of this venison steak with the brothers. | ||
| It's usually me in my underwear at 2 o'clock in the morning and just being out there with nature. | ||
| That's my, you know? | ||
| Might inspire me to get rid of my spare tire, man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I posted a picture recently of me and Willie Nelson. | ||
| I was like, man. | ||
| And I looked at it afterwards and I was like, man, I look so young and thin. | ||
| Man, I got to drop like 20 pounds. | ||
| I put even hashtagged it on there. | ||
| I got to drop like 20 pounds. | ||
| I meant to ask you this. | ||
| You have this artificial valve in your heart. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Does that prevent you from doing any kind of exercise? | ||
| Well, recently, Joe, my engineer guy, one of my entourage, he's got hard into P90X. And he was doing P90X in the morning and Insanity at night. | ||
| And that guy right there. | ||
| Damn. | ||
| So he got me kind of pumped up. | ||
| I went for P90X. It lasted about one day. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| And then I went to my doctor because it discouraged me. | ||
| I was like, yo, I got to find a dude who, like, I'm interested in your guy who's coming in here in a couple of days, the fitness dude. | ||
| I need to find a dude who knows how to build my heart back up to that level of output. | ||
| Because right now it's not there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I can't just get on a treadmill. | ||
| It's boring. | ||
| I'd rather play basketball. | ||
| I need somebody who's going to make it fun, make it interesting, and then also keep me from eating fucking Lorna Dunes at like 2.30. | ||
| Does the valve function like normal? | ||
| According to my doctor, except for like 20-25 pounds that he don't like, I'm healthy as an ox right now. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| So you could do anything. | ||
| If I got there. | ||
| You know what you should do, man? | ||
| You should take martial arts. | ||
| Take a martial art. | ||
| I was doing jujitsu and stuff, and then it's like I kind of put this weight on. | ||
| I won't blame my daughters. | ||
| It's like a lot of her life is like us pumping calories into her. | ||
| Like keeping weight on cystic fibrosis youngsters is important for their lung development. | ||
| So like everything in our house is extra fat. | ||
| And for a long time I just... | ||
| And hey, I mean, I won't lie. | ||
| You go through depressions and... | ||
| You know, your food is an outlet. | ||
| I snack a little too much sometimes. | ||
| Food is yummy. | ||
| It's delicious. | ||
|
unidentified
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I love food. | |
| That's the problem. | ||
| It's so good. | ||
| But, you know, so, you know, I just wound up putting on, what was the question there? | ||
| When I went into my, say I go to my daughter and it's a whole different thing. | ||
| Yeah, we were just talking about martial arts. | ||
| Oh yeah, I was doing jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| And then after I put this weight on, I tried to go back and it's like with a spare tire trying to do hip, you know, throw your hip. | ||
| Hip escapes. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| I was like, now I got to do that. | ||
| I got to drop some pounds to get back just so I can drop some pounds. | ||
|
unidentified
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You know what you used to do? | |
| It's just treated as like, I mean, you should probably get in shape before you do it, but you could treat it as some sort of a mental exercise. | ||
| Just put yourself through some torment. | ||
| If I make that move I was telling you about, You know, I'll probably, you know, I'll be able to hit the Runyon Canyon run and walks and stuff like that. | ||
| That's always fun. | ||
| I like that walk because getting up to the top is a reward. | ||
| Yeah, it's huge. | ||
| I actually used to pull up and start at the top and walk down because then you got to come back up to get your car, you know what I mean? | ||
| Caffeine and Jack Daniels also helps with weight loss, I've noticed. | ||
|
unidentified
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Is that right? | |
| If you throw up a lot? | ||
| Cocaine is amazing. | ||
| Jack Daniels is terrible for weight loss. | ||
| That's horrible. | ||
| That's just sugar. | ||
| Yeah, it is. | ||
| Unfortunately, I know that because I drink whiskey, so. | ||
| It turns right into sugar. | ||
| How weird. | ||
| It tastes like shit. | ||
| See, I can't get that up. | ||
| I need the guy who's going to show me how I can work around a few things. | ||
| I think that it's all about moderation. | ||
| I don't think you have to give up the whiskey. | ||
| I think if you want to stay healthy... | ||
| Another thing is, yo, I stay steady. | ||
| I don't pass a certain point. | ||
| I hit like 260, and it's like, oh, that's the... | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's too big. | ||
| Then you get mad. | ||
| Then I get mad. | ||
| And I don't go to like 290 or 300. I did once, I think, like 290 way back. | ||
| Like... | ||
| But a lot of it, too, is like we were talking about thyroid earlier. | ||
| After my surgery, I have to take a thyroid pill to keep my metabolism just kind of went... | ||
| When all the surgery and stuff happened, my body just kind of said, we're going to slow life down. | ||
| Yeah, I would imagine a heart surgery is a serious thing. | ||
| So I just need to find out how I can build back up. | ||
| I don't even need to do P90X full blast like that. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| P90X is good because it makes you do it. | ||
| It seems like it's too much, then do as much as you can and then stop. | ||
| But it makes you do it. | ||
| I gotta find the dude that's gonna take money to help me do it, man. | ||
| I'm sure you can find a dude. | ||
| I need the guy that's gonna show up at my door and be like, yo... | ||
| Get out of bed, pussy. | ||
| You want someone to be your will. | ||
| No, not bad like that. | ||
| Someone to be your willpower. | ||
| Then we'll be fighting. | ||
| And he's probably going to be in much better shape than me, so I'm going to have to break out a bat. | ||
| And it's like an assault charge, and I got to buy him a car when I should have just got in shape. | ||
| Get Richard Simmons, man, and smoke a bunch of weed and have Richard Simmons help you out. | ||
| That sounds like the best thing ever. | ||
| You won't feel threatened by him. | ||
| He'll make your heart grow because he's so heartwarming. | ||
| I think you just created the greatest reality show ever. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| I think that's the greatest reality show ever. | ||
| I might even say yeah to that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If that's all it was about was just that, I might even say that. | |
| I don't think he would ever bust a move. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Time's gone. | ||
| Maybe when he was younger, maybe he would have felt it and felt confident and just give you a gentle pat of the ass. | ||
| Every Saturday he does a class in LA that you could actually sign up for, so I'm sure he's up for it. | ||
| I'll go grab me some dolphin shorts, man. | ||
| That's right. | ||
| Get in there, son. | ||
| Don't be scared to tease. | ||
| Don't be scared to give them a little tease. | ||
| I just like Coke and sushi. | ||
| And I mean Coca-Cola, by the way. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| I like steak and cheese subs. | ||
| Yeah, I love steak. | ||
| Oh, steak and cheese subs are so good. | ||
| Steak and cheese sub with a good Italian roll. | ||
| Oh, sweet Jesus. | ||
| I know it's bad for you. | ||
| Where are you getting that from, by the way? | ||
| Well, all sorts of different places. | ||
| Okay, you're going to have to hook me up with that. | ||
| You ever go to Cavarretta's? | ||
| You want to get some serious Italian food that you really should never be eating? | ||
| Cavarretta's in, I guess it's in Canoga Park. | ||
| It's an old school Italian telly. | ||
| It sounds familiar, man. | ||
| God damn, dude, they got a sausage and pepper sub. | ||
| It's, um... | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| I wish I could remember. | ||
| I know how to get there, but it's one of those things where you take a left on there and go right on there and I'm... | ||
| Cabaretta's. | ||
| Google it, people. | ||
| I'll be there. | ||
| Does the news of Michael Douglas throat cancer affect your pussy eating at all? | ||
| It's a little shocking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A little shocking. | ||
| You know, I mean... | ||
| Is this new news? | ||
| Because I can swear I heard it a long time ago. | ||
| Like he first blamed it all on that kind of... | ||
| Or he suspected it. | ||
| Maybe, maybe, but I heard about it just yesterday. | ||
| It was the first time I heard about it. | ||
| Yeah, I just heard it yesterday. | ||
| People were talking about it a while ago, like, on something. | ||
| Maybe, maybe it's just the, maybe the media, you know, is picking up on it the second run around, you know. | ||
| Maybe he talked about it before, but it's a recent thing because a lot of people think that apparently that it was like cigarettes or alcohol. | ||
| Yeah, no, he thinks he had HPV in his throat, right? | ||
| Brian, don't do that. | ||
| That's just rude. | ||
| What was that? | ||
| Put a photoshop up of him. | ||
| His face all photoshopped. | ||
| Michael Douglas. | ||
| Pussy words on his face. | ||
| That's just rude. | ||
| Is that Ari's butt? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| No? | ||
| That's the chief clam. | ||
| Yeah, that's... | ||
| You know, it's kind of fucked up that sex can give you diseases. | ||
| Like, what a stupid, shitty little fucking trick by nature that sex, eating pussy, can give you some horrible throat cancer. | ||
| How rude. | ||
| And what sucks is most chicks, isn't like HPV something like most girls have or most guys have? | ||
| I think a huge percentage of the population has it apparently. | ||
| And they can just recently, they can give you a vaccination for it. | ||
| But the vaccinations apparently are a little scary. | ||
| Aren't they just, they're for the girls, right? | ||
| Young girls get them. | ||
| What's the vaccination? | ||
| There was somewhere where there was a controversy where they were trying to make the girls, like somebody was trying to make girls get them, like, or make it mandatory. | ||
| Wow, that's crazy. | ||
| Well, you know, they give you, when inoculations, vaccinations for a kid, one of them they give you is Hepatitis B, which is, I think, mostly that's sexually transmittable. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And they're giving it to kids. | ||
| It's like, how many people get hepatitis B? It's like a lot of them are from sex. | ||
| Maybe it's something that the kid needs to worry about eventually, but when it's a baby, are we sure that hepatitis... | ||
| I just remember being told when I was young, sex without love was unhealthy. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Who told you that? | ||
| Crazy asshole. | ||
| Doesn't want to have fun. | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
| Some crazy fuck who doesn't want to have a good time. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it's probably my mother. | ||
| Oh, silly mom. | ||
| It can be both. | ||
| It can be both. | ||
| Sex with love is best, but sex without love is pretty fucking good. | ||
| Sex, there's nothing wrong with it, people. | ||
| Everybody needs to relax. | ||
| The connection, there's a connection there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| If you love somebody, you probably care enough more about them to find out whether or not they have HPV. Right. | ||
| But at certain numbers, it's like... | ||
| Usually the sex without the love is more in a rushed state. | ||
| Let's just go. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| I don't care. | ||
| They don't speak English. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you remember when everybody was worried about AIDS? Yeah, I do. | |
| You know what? | ||
| I was just saying something about it the other day. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Nobody worries about it. | ||
| I was telling something. | ||
| Oh, Joe, wasn't I just telling you the other day? | ||
| Like in the 90s, that five days when you had to wait. | ||
| Even if you knew you were cool, you were like, that five days we had to wait for the test to come back. | ||
| You were still like, what if? | ||
| Oh, hold on, or this, you know. | ||
| Dude, that's no joke. | ||
| Now it's like, not even, it's kind of, I don't even care. | ||
| Nobody even thinks about it. | ||
| I remember, I was in my car, and I was driving to the gym, and I was listening to the radio, and they, I remember the fucking, the street I was turning on, when they said, Magic Johnson just announced that he's HIV positive. | ||
| I was like, this is the, I was thinking this shit was the zombie apocalypse. | ||
| I was like, him going on the radio and saying he's HIV positive, oh my god, Magic Johnson, one of the greatest basketball players of all time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We're all gonna die of AIDS. I'm saying, he's got AIDS? I was like, he's got AIDS? Holy shit, it's coming, man. | |
| I just anticipated a wave of AIDS that never arrived. | ||
| AIDS mosquitoes. | ||
| Strange. | ||
| Strange, strange, strange. | ||
| I remember when Eazy-E died of AIDS, and that was like, because that one, nobody even knew about it until he was dead. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, and these people that are dying of AIDS in Africa, that's a really fascinating thing as well because apparently – someone please tweet me and correct me if this is incorrect. | ||
| But what I was told was that a lot of what they – when they release figures like X amount of people have AIDS – That doesn't mean X amount of people are even HIV positive. | ||
| That means that they have the symptoms of AIDS. It means their immune system is fucked. | ||
| So they see these people and whether it's from poor nutrition or a host of various diseases, they don't necessarily test every one of these people because it's expensive to do that. | ||
| So apparently when you hear X amount of people have AIDS, That's a little on the rough side. | ||
| It's a little bit of a rough estimate. | ||
| Well, you know, it's just people are fucked. | ||
| It's a shit spot to be. | ||
| There's a lot wrong with being there. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking diseases. | ||
| It's not just, you know, HIV. Like, goddamn Africa's got a host of fucking diseases, especially when you're poor and you're not eating anything. | ||
| And then, like, I remember seeing something on a show once about, like, there was some certain tribe or... | ||
| Area of Africa where they believed the cure for AIDS was to fuck a virgin. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Which is like, wow! | ||
| How do you even come up with that? | ||
| Africa still rocks some really crazy ways of life. | ||
| It gives you insight into the way the world was just a thousand years ago or two thousand years ago. | ||
| Like witchcraft is huge in Africa. | ||
| Witchcraft and burning people because they're witches and accusing people of witches and people doing things to help cure you of demonic possession. | ||
| There's like a big business in it where they like cure children of demonic possession and they take them from their parents and require their parents come up with thousands and thousands of dollars to give to them. | ||
| So the parents go fucking crazy and do anything they can to get the money to get their children back because this guy is claiming that this child is possessed by the devil. | ||
| So if he doesn't do this exorcism, they'll kill this kid. | ||
| It's a normal, common thing in Africa. | ||
| I think I remember seeing something about that. | ||
| It's fucking crazy! | ||
| And there's a ton of them and they're all running this racket, scaring the fuck out of everybody, killing people. | ||
| It's a nutty place to live. | ||
| And it's 2013, man. | ||
| Just like, you know, we're sitting here chilling in the valley, having ourselves a good old time, drinking coffee, kicking back, playing music. | ||
| There's a dude out there who's like burning people because he says they're a witch. | ||
| You know, that's all going on somewhere. | ||
| Yeah, that's nutty. | ||
| It's nutty as fuck. | ||
| I'm moving there. | ||
| Don't go to Africa. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Don't do it. | |
| People tried. | ||
| There was a bunch of Europeans. | ||
| We're going to start a wildlife preserve. | ||
| I think it's going to preserve itself just fine. | ||
| I don't know if you really need to preserve it. | ||
| We need to stop people from killing them. | ||
| People are always killing them for like hard-on pills, you know? | ||
| It's always Chinese people that think that you can get some rhino horn, grind it up and your dick grows. | ||
| Or some tiger penis. | ||
| Yeah, it's ridiculous. | ||
| There's some other benefits for rhino horn or other uses that they use, but that's what they're killing these rhinos for. | ||
| They're like wiping out the rhino population because people in Asia have this thing for rhino horns. | ||
| It would kind of suck if there was no more rhinos. | ||
| I mean, rhinos are kind of badass. | ||
| The fact that that thing actually exists... | ||
| But hers has got to be thin at this point, though. | ||
| Must be very thin. | ||
| I think some of them are actually extinct now. | ||
| Because these dudes just won't stop hunting them. | ||
| They don't give a fuck. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| This is... | ||
| They live wild. | ||
| That's a wild place. | ||
| We're so soft. | ||
| On that same thing, I love gator hunters, man. | ||
| I love all the shows about... | ||
| You watch that swamp people? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Swamp people, dude. | |
| It's the best. | ||
| I love that shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's awesome. | |
| I want to go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| But that's different. | ||
| I want to go with some pros. | ||
| I don't want to go and just try and hunt a gator. | ||
| I want to go with one of them teams and like... | ||
| Even being a boat has got to be an adrenaline rush. | ||
| Pulling a 12-foot gator on a boat? | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Those dudes got to be strong as fucking oxes. | ||
| That one family, the son and the dad, they're all yoke dudes with that crazy accent. | ||
| The dad's got a rat tail. | ||
| That dude's supposedly like the world champion arm wrestler in his weight class. | ||
| I believe it. | ||
| I bet that guy's strong as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
His son supposedly fights a little MMA. Yeah, they're throwing dinosaurs around all day. | |
| I mean, they're literally picking up dinosaurs and shooting them in the head. | ||
| In the original season of Swan People, there was a dude that would go out and live catch them. | ||
| For like, scientists wanted to get them. | ||
| You know, the medium-sized ones. | ||
| But still, he would grab them out in the water by their necks and he would be like... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Love that shit. | ||
| How do you get good at that? | ||
| Those are the people that are going to be around when it all goes bad still. | ||
| You know that, right? | ||
| Well, if you want to go to Louisiana, you could be around too. | ||
| They're everywhere. | ||
| You can't kill the alligators enough. | ||
| You have to really go on an assault. | ||
| Those guys are pulling 500 out of season. | ||
| They still got alligators all over the place. | ||
| Crossing highways and shit. | ||
| They're disgusting. | ||
| It must be rough having a dog around there. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it is. | ||
| When I lived in Florida, a dog got stolen from some old lady. | ||
| Stolen? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alligator just reached out of the water and stole that doggy. | |
| That alligator had every right to that in his mind. | ||
| That's not stolen. | ||
| That's the rules of the world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's slipping. | |
| That dog was slipping. | ||
| Not only was the dog slipping, it was tied to a chain. | ||
| There was an old lady who can't run on the other end of it. | ||
| Then that's just dinner. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| In Florida? | ||
| What if the alligator recognized that the old lady couldn't run? | ||
| I wonder. | ||
| Because it just came out of the water. | ||
| It's like, yep, I'll take that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Snack. | |
| Snack. | ||
| She's lucky it took the dog. | ||
| She's very lucky. | ||
| But they're weird. | ||
| They very rarely attack people. | ||
| Although there was a story recently where a guy was running from the cops. | ||
| He was in Miami and he hit the brakes and jumped off an overpass into the water right where an alligator was. | ||
| So literally as he jumped into the water, the alligator attacked him. | ||
| And killed him right in front of the cops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Probably. | |
| Yeah, I mean, a guy jumps off a fucking bridge and lands on you. | ||
| The alligator just fucked him up. | ||
| The cops said it was like a scene in a movie. | ||
| It's like the guy literally locks up his brakes, jumps into the water, and then it's, ah! | ||
| Alligators are just ripping him apart. | ||
| But other than that, it's pretty rare that they get people. | ||
| Crazy. | ||
| Crocodiles are what we've got to worry about. | ||
| They found Nile crocodiles in the Everglades now. | ||
| Yeah, that's scary. | ||
| So they issued a kill-on-sight order for these Nile crocodiles. | ||
| As far as they know, they don't have a breeding population, but they've definitely been spotted in the Everglades, which is a fucking real problem. | ||
| Assholes! | ||
| Florida! | ||
| Florida, the fucking cock of the country. | ||
| That place is crazy, filled with nutty white people who are on bath salts and they're fucking throwing snakes out their car window while they're driving down the street. | ||
| They're assholes. | ||
| Florida is filled with the redneckiest redneck assholes on the planet. | ||
| It's a lot of fun down there, though. | ||
| It's on another level from the Deep South. | ||
| You know, it's like the Deep South. | ||
| That's like the Mexico of the Deep South. | ||
| That's what Florida's like. | ||
| Because it's like you go below the Deep... | ||
| The Deep South's all classy and shit. | ||
| You can go to Tennessee and be a gentleman, have a bourbon and... | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| But you get down to Florida and shit gets crazy. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Because it's Mexico of the South. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's like, man, it's barely America. | ||
| When you're in Florida, you go to do gigs in Miami, dude, you are barely in America. | ||
| And I say that in a good way. | ||
| Like, it is a beautiful energy. | ||
| Like, they're fun fucking people, man. | ||
| I think Florida's a blast. | ||
| It's one of the best places to go if you want to just go and unwind and have a good time. | ||
| I love watching all those, you know, cocaine cowboys documentaries about how, like, basically Miami is just built. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Built out of cocaine. | ||
| Built out of it. | ||
| For real. | ||
| Cocaine and murder. | ||
| I mean, literally built. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's, like, literally built the city. | |
| Yeah, that dude, Billy Corbin, I met him in Florida. | ||
| He's a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Those documentaries are goddamn good. | ||
| Cocaine Cowboys 1 and 2. Yeah, Giselda, is that her name? | ||
| Giselda Blanco? | ||
| Griselda. | ||
| Griselda. | ||
| Woo, she was scary. | ||
| Did you ever see the second Cocaine Cowboys where the dude was seducing the godmother from jail? | ||
| The dude was banging her and was like making it happen. | ||
| The Oakland guy was like running shit on her. | ||
| Making hundreds of millies, man. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| He was just, he stroked her. | ||
| Go there, get his little stick wet every time he got to jail. | ||
| And then, how about the fact she got out? | ||
| That's pretty Viagra, dude. | ||
| You gotta get that dude some salute, man. | ||
| For him? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah, man. | ||
| That's free pills. | ||
| You couldn't take a pill and just go in. | ||
| He had to get that shit up for Griselda. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That is a strong move. | ||
| Are we sure that it was before there was Viagra? | ||
| When was Viagra? | ||
| This was like in the 80s, man. | ||
| Was it? | ||
| Was it the 80s? | ||
| I'm pretty sure this was in the 80s, early 90s at the most. | ||
| When did they invent Viagra? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was November 11, 2015. Shrine at his home to Viagra. | |
| It was a good afternoon. | ||
| The weather was a calm 78 degrees. | ||
| Those commercials are always so lame. | ||
| It's always like a couple with gray hair and they're holding hands and they look at each other and they come close and they cuddle. | ||
| It's never a dude with a maniacal look on his face and a boner that's five hours old will not die. | ||
| And he's sweating and his heart is fucking leaping out of his chest. | ||
| It's never that. | ||
| I'm always curious about the one that says it lasts for three days and you can just kind of call upon it when you want to. | ||
| Like a genie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How does that work? | |
| Like a genie you keep for three days. | ||
| I'm on that shit right now and it sucks. | ||
| The three day thing is not that good. | ||
| What do you mean you're on it? | ||
| Explain to me how that works. | ||
| You can just summon a boner while you're on it? | ||
| I noticed the first day, it's just intense. | ||
| Everything that happens close to your dick, it just makes a boner immediately. | ||
| Today, it's more like if I start touching it or if Jamie starts kissing it with his pretty lips, then it would definitely shoot right back up. | ||
| But it's not as sensitive to the point where I'm walking around like, God damn it, I have a boner right now, where the first day is. | ||
| Third day, it's just kind of like you have to try a little harder, but when it's ready... | ||
| Are you taking Viagra or Cialis or which one of them? | ||
| Well, this was Black Power, which is... | ||
| Oh, it's probably Cialis. | ||
| You don't know which it is. | ||
| It's Cialis, but it's a bigger pill, so it's more Cialis than a normal pill, so it's like five days worth of Cialis. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Why are you taking all that? | ||
| Because I have a... | ||
| I know, but don't you... | ||
| Don't you think it'd be a better idea to take like half a pill? | ||
| Have you ever thought about taking half a pill? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, because I want as much boner as possible, Chad. | |
| Why do you think I'm not doing the... | ||
| I'm just worried you're going to die. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| I'm worried your heart's going to fucking give out. | ||
| Like, I think boner pills at a certain level are unhealthy. | ||
| Well, it's weight loss problems. | ||
| That blood belongs other places most of the time. | ||
| Exactly! | ||
| It's alright to borrow it temporarily, but the interest rates get higher the longer you hold on to it. | ||
| That's what Tim Ferriss always says about biological lunch, that there's no free, biological free lunch. | ||
| When you take something that has a very positive reaction, it also probably has some side effects that you're not really aware of that are equally powerful. | ||
| Yeah, ripping pussy apart. | ||
| Easy over here! | ||
| Another thing it does that really helps is not cumming at all. | ||
| You sometimes don't even cum, and you're just like, alright, I just fucking made that chick have the best sex in the whole entire world. | ||
| Do you know how many people across the country are barfing right now just thinking of you having sex with anyone? | ||
| And you're talking about tearing pussy apart. | ||
| You're like a 12-year-old. | ||
| Do they hurt your brain, or was your brain already hurt? | ||
| Which one is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Crazy talk. | ||
| No, it's cool. | ||
| You should probably have less. | ||
| I think there's certain dangers with it. | ||
| But, you know, that's one thing that is weird. | ||
| Apparently, it enhances athletic performance. | ||
| It's banned in the Olympics. | ||
| Because it recycles your blood. | ||
| Oh, that's what it does. | ||
| It puts your blood juice over there. | ||
| Dr. Brian, how would you scientifically describe the effects of CL? It moves the blood juice down around your place. | ||
| LAUGHTER Yeah, but it apparently enhances endurance. | ||
| I like how the pill was called the Black Power. | ||
| Black Power, it's a white guy fucking a black chick on the cover. | ||
| That's why I got it, because I was like, damn, he's making that girl happy. | ||
| He's a skinny white guy. | ||
| There's dudes that only get black girlfriends. | ||
| You know those dudes? | ||
| The white dudes are only Jewish guys. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| I can never take those things, man. | ||
| I got, you know, with the hard stuff. | ||
| But I remember when I got out of hospital, a really important thing to me was the doctor said, you can't have sex, so you could walk a flight of stairs. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And I would look at the stairs like every day. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And be like, alright, I'm going to try. | ||
| And I'd go two or three steps and I'd come back down. | ||
| It took me about a... | ||
| Week and a half. | ||
| Now, when they gave you open heart surgery, they have to open up your chest bone. | ||
| Yes, sir. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| How long does it take before that heals up? | ||
| Do you feel it now? | ||
| When you touch it, does it bother you? | ||
| Sometimes I feel the wire. | ||
| Through the skin. | ||
| Yeah, because they wire it shut. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| There's a little wire. | ||
| And when I get x-rayed, you see it looks like a little barbed wire thing wrapped around the sternum. | ||
| Does that go off when you go through the metal detectors? | ||
| Man, they have to have it once or twice in my life since this happened. | ||
| I believe that that set it off. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| But it's like when they're on super high. | ||
| Like, if they're set high... | ||
| I've gone through those, you know, the full body. | ||
| They never say a word. | ||
| They never ask me about anything. | ||
| So I don't even know if they see it. | ||
| The full body is a radio wave thing, and what it's looking for is external objects. | ||
| It's looking for shit that you might have in your pocket, like shanks. | ||
| Sometimes like those wands. | ||
| Those make it go off? | ||
| If it's set ridiculously high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| I've had guys go like, what is that? | ||
| And I'd be like, why are they wearing a necklace today? | ||
| I was like, you must be getting either the wire or my valve. | ||
| Wow, right through the skin. | ||
| How fucked up is it we have to test people for metal? | ||
| Make sure they're not bringing anything hard on them. | ||
| Does it feel foreign? | ||
| Like sometimes, does it like vibrate during certain things? | ||
| Like if you're like on a roller coaster, do you feel like a certain foreign object inside of you? | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it's all, you know, the crazy part is like acoustics of rooms. | ||
| Sometimes if I'm sitting in the right spot, it's so loud, it's ridiculous. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, like people, I'll be like, what the hell? | ||
| You know, if I'm in the right spot in the right room, it's just like... | ||
| Because 90% of the time for me it's white noise. | ||
| I don't hear that click anymore. | ||
| Unless I want to, I can hear it. | ||
| Click is life. | ||
| Oddly enough, it's a clock to me. | ||
| It's like, alright, each one of those is a second. | ||
| I was thinking about it the other day. | ||
| I was just talking to somebody about when you really figure it out. | ||
| How many days do we live? | ||
| Maybe 35,000, 40,000 days? | ||
| Is that a lot? | ||
| 365 days a year. | ||
| So 10 years would be 3,000. | ||
| So, you know, 20, 3,000. | ||
| If you live 60 years, 70 years, call it 70. 70 times 365. We're all math retards. | ||
| That's a lot of time. | ||
| That's somewhere in that neighborhood, I'm sure. | ||
| A lot of days. | ||
| Let's call it 50,000 days your life is. | ||
| Does that sound like a lot? | ||
| It doesn't to me. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it doesn't sound like a lot. | ||
| I equate it to dollars, man. | ||
| I could spend that now. | ||
| I could go out of here right now and spend $50,000. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| I wouldn't want to. | ||
| That would suck. | ||
| Unless you're a gambling man. | ||
| Or just an ass. | ||
| Yeah, I think we like to think that this shit's going to last forever, but clearly it's not. | ||
| Yeah, it's really short, man. | ||
| That's the one thing that whole thing really made me realize. | ||
| When I was laying on the thing going in, I was literally mainly thinking I wasn't coming out of it. | ||
| I was like, I'm dying. | ||
| You know, the whole... | ||
| For me, I didn't see visions of flashing before my eyes. | ||
| It was just the whole... | ||
| I think I even said it on the show before. | ||
| It was the summation of, like, that's how long it was. | ||
| Wow, that was a blink of a fucking eye from birth till now. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| And that was the... | ||
| You know, that's really my biggest lesson out of it. | ||
| And now I got a clock ticking. | ||
| I'm the crocodile from Peter Pan, you know? | ||
| Well, when you go through anything that really makes you think that it could be over, that makes you reassess the whole picture. | ||
| Sometimes we just get real used to everything. | ||
| You get used to being able to go to the supermarket and get food. | ||
| You get used to being able to get up in the morning and walk. | ||
| You get used to all these things. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Being alive. | |
| Being alive, yeah. | ||
| Just being conscious. | ||
| I mean, the world is a strange, strange fucking place, man. | ||
| We're just so used to it that we don't even think about how strange it is. | ||
| Yeah, every once in a while I'll sit back and just think about the actual breath I'm going to take. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What you took in, what your body took out of it, what you're pushing out. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That one simple thing is high science. | ||
| And it's invisible. | ||
| Completely. | ||
| You need it and it's invisible. | ||
| You don't even know where it is. | ||
| You'd be in a room and there's none of it in there. | ||
| Maybe kind of like God. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| What led you to the Muslim religion as opposed to Christianity? | ||
| I lived with a family that was Muslim. | ||
| They never once talked to me about it or anything. | ||
| I found some literature that I read. | ||
| I listened to a tape or two. | ||
| My fundamental understanding of it is it's all three of the Judeo-Christian. | ||
| It's a summation. | ||
| Of all three. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What are the three? | ||
| Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. | ||
| It goes through all the so-called prophets and all that. | ||
| And to be honest, it's like all those, you know, the more the older I get, the more I see those are stories. | ||
| I still, like I said, believe in the Creator. | ||
| See, Islam for me just brought me like, oh, this is all connected. | ||
| And it was like very much about peace and a time in my life when I needed that. | ||
| And... | ||
| But like I said, I'm not part of any mosque. | ||
| I'm not part of any... | ||
| And I don't even practice like that. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| For me, it's like personal... | ||
| Again, if it wasn't me and you having this discussion, it's like, man, it's not even important. | ||
| It's my thing. | ||
| Whatever yours is yours. | ||
| Because if I was a real Muslim, like hardcore... | ||
| Praise Odin. | ||
| I'd be all offended. | ||
| Praise Odin. | ||
| And it's so silly because it's like, come on. | ||
| That's kind of the point. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And that's when religion for me gets narrow-minded and I can't follow that path. | ||
| So what you say is that you benefit from it? | ||
| I benefit from the knowledge I've taken from it. | ||
| I mean, you could say I'm Christian and Muslim because I've practiced both in my life. | ||
| You were talking earlier about Catholicism. | ||
| I was raised going to catechism school and all that, learning the lessons, and then at 14 I had what they call a confirmation. | ||
| Which was you go before the bishop and you basically do this thing and it's like you're sort of bar mitzvah of a Christian in that symbolic way. | ||
| We didn't get any checks or big parties. | ||
| You know, it wasn't a big like that. | ||
| It was just kind of you go there and you're a man now and you get the Holy Spirit is supposed to come down into you. | ||
| And I was buying in at that age. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| I bought in. | ||
| I was going to it all. | ||
| And I remember sitting there in the church and the guy anoints you with the thing and you say the words and I'm walking back and I sit down in my pew and I'm like, okay, it's going to happen. | ||
| Other kids are kind of acting. | ||
| It wasn't like, ah, this happened to me, but kids were like happy and yay. | ||
| And I just didn't feel a goddamn thing. | ||
| And for me, It wasn't that I thought religion was bullshit, like how you turned. | ||
| It was for me, I was like, oh man, there's something wrong with me. | ||
| For a long time. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And then, like I said, I found this other thing that kind of accepted me. | ||
| On my own, on my own terms. | ||
| Nobody introduced me to Islam, personally. | ||
| Nobody said, this is what you should think, or believe, or here's something for you to read. | ||
| This stuff fell into my lap. | ||
| And I was like, like I said, I follow signs. | ||
| And so that got me through a very... | ||
| I believe like that philosophy and the way it took my mind are one of the reasons I'm still alive today. | ||
| I think there's some great lessons in a lot of organized religions. | ||
| Some great lessons in both the Bible and the Quran and the Torah. | ||
| There's great lessons in there. | ||
| The problem is they're old as fuck. | ||
| And they need to be updated. | ||
| It's not a bad thing to have something like a Bible, but it's a bad thing to have some old shit that nobody truly understands and not have some just guidelines of how to live life and be a happy, healthy person. | ||
| And don't necessarily say that they came... | ||
| From anywhere. | ||
| You don't know where the fuck they came from. | ||
| But these are things that people have accumulated and we've figured out in time. | ||
| What's up? | ||
| I got a song. | ||
| You got a song about this? | ||
| It's going to show you my religion. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Beautiful. | ||
| Let's do it. | ||
| This is my religion. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's almost like we set this up. | ||
| Well, that's why I had to grab the guitar. | ||
| Powerful Everlasting. | ||
| That's my religion. | ||
| This is called Friday the 13th. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Once the sun rises, run out of surprises, and the drugs they start to clear from your head. | ||
| It's hot as nothing, bush comes shoving, throw some money on the table, come last night's loving. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Got the soul of a whore, got the heart of a lonely man. | |
| If I ain't fucking things up, I do the very best that I can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They all come creepy, they all got crazy. | |
| We're small money and they idolize crazy. | ||
| Everybody want to go to heaven. | ||
| Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. | ||
| I got mad distracted. | ||
| Hold up. | ||
| What got you distracted? | ||
| I'm ready to call you out on that. | ||
| Am I taking my head off listening to this? | ||
| A little phone thing. | ||
| I didn't know if you were on the phone. | ||
| My bad. | ||
| No. | ||
| I let it distract me. | ||
| It's not your phone. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I was worried it was an important call. | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't turn my phone on. | ||
| My wife never calls me during the podcast. | ||
| I don't judge. | ||
| I'm just saying I lost my fucking whole train of thought. | ||
| I fucked up. | ||
| We're going to do this again from the top. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| All right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I wound up on a whole different song. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Sorry, I got a voicemail. | ||
| I got nervous. | ||
| I don't blame you. | ||
| I live in fear of cause. | ||
| I couldn't even let go of it in my brain. | ||
| I had to stop and start over. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They say everything's fine down with red light shine once the junk is fog on the bed. | |
| And once the sun rises, run out of surprises and the drugs they sought to clear from your head. | ||
| As hot as an oven, bush comes to shoving. | ||
| Throw some money on the table, cover the last night's loving. | ||
| Got the soul of a whore, got the heart of a lonely man. | ||
| If I ain't fucking things up, I do the very best that I can. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just like a lamb to the slaughter, a horse to the water. | |
| I only want to drink it if I know I should not have. | ||
| I'm a scared little boy, but I'm really one hell of a man. | ||
| And I'm a junkie falling love in touch of a stranger's hand. | ||
| They say everything's love up in the heavens above, but here on earth you must atone for your sins. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You went in room for judging once the Lord starts by your moment, and then the ones that wins. | |
| How you play the game? | ||
| Still all the same. | ||
| They say it's only cheating if you get called. | ||
| So you're lying and you're sinning, running around and grinning with that scared-ass knowledge you bought. | ||
| You got the mind of a leper and the soul of a tortured king. | ||
| And it's all breaking down and that's a truly unfortunate thing. | ||
| While you're fighting for survival, I'm feeling sacrificial. | ||
| Got a brand new rifle, girl, it's a government issue. | ||
| Got a heart full of stone, got an eye that's about to take aim. | ||
| And every fucking person up on Twitter's gonna sweep my name. | ||
| Cause they all gone stupid, they all got lazy. | ||
| They worship all the money and the idolize it crazy. | ||
| Everybody want to go to heaven, but everyone's afraid to die. | ||
| And what if God is real, but religion's all just one big lie? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, the boss said lower, the temperature's higher. | |
| Somebody got to spark it and set one big fire. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| That's your religion. | ||
| That was horrible. | ||
| No, that was great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was horrible. | |
| No, it was a real moment, man. | ||
| No, I let my mind get away from me on that one. | ||
| Listen, I shouldn't answer the phone. | ||
| I was going to be polite and leave the room. | ||
| I thought that would be more distracting. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| All right, let's do a... | ||
| All right, we'll do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right, we'll we'll do this. | |
| All right, we'll we'll do this. | ||
| All right, we'll do this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
speed and was out of breath knocked an old man down swore he killed him they made his mood to an abandoned building ran upstairs up to the top floor opened up the door and guess what he saw Dave the dope fiend shooting dope who don't know the meaning of water nor soap he said I need bullets hurry and run the dope fiend brought back a spanking shotgun went outside there was cops all over | |
| so he dipped to a car was a stone over raced up the block doing 83 crashing to a tree in the university escaped alive though the car was shattered rat-a-tat-tattered and all the cops scatted ran out a bullet but it still had static | ||
| ran the brain and let it go down he won't matter pointed at her head said the gun for a lady told the cops back off or honey is dead deep in his heart he knew he was wrong so he let the lady go and he starts to move on siren sounded he seemed astounded but far along the little boy got surrounded he dropped his gun so went to glory and this is the way I got to end this story he was only 19 in a madman's dream I heard the cop shoot the kid I still hear him scream this ain't funny | ||
|
unidentified
|
so don't you dare laugh just another case about the wrong path straighter now where your soul gets cast goodnight y'all oh yeah that was beautiful that was beautiful That reminded me of the Trayvon Martin case, man. | |
| There's a lot of that in there. | ||
| What's going on with that? | ||
| Isn't that just in the trial about to start again? | ||
| Yeah, I don't know. | ||
| I don't know what's going on with that. | ||
| I think it's heated up. | ||
| It's in the news all the time. | ||
| It's a fascinating case, man. | ||
| People are in real trouble for manipulating the news. | ||
| The way they portrayed it, a lot of people were under the impression that that was like a little kid. | ||
| He was really small. | ||
| Those were really old pictures of him. | ||
| He was a much larger kid. | ||
| He beat the fuck out of that guy before the guy shot him. | ||
| He had blood all over his head. | ||
| His nose was punched in. | ||
| There's a lot of weird shit as to whether or not, you know, he was a victim or he was an asshole that he shouldn't have been doing in the first place. | ||
| It's a very racially divisive issue, you know? | ||
| It's really a fucked up issue. | ||
| He's alive though. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| You can take a punch in the nose. | ||
| You know, you can apologize for that. | ||
| You can, you know what I mean? | ||
| Well, you know what, man? | ||
| If he thought that dude was going to kill him... | ||
| I'm not calling right or wrong on either side. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Like, one dude's alive, one dude's dead, and one dude was following another dude when he shouldn't have been. | ||
| Apparently, that's not true. | ||
| Apparently, that was something that was also reported that wasn't true. | ||
| He didn't follow that kid. | ||
| Apparently, they told him to stop, and he got in his car, and the kid was looking for him. | ||
| But who the fuck knows? | ||
| When something like that happens... | ||
| I never heard that, but I ain't paying attention. | ||
| We're getting a bunch of different versions of something. | ||
| Got my own world problems. | ||
| Yeah, none of them are from... | ||
| But that song reminded me of that a lot. | ||
| That's an old Slick Rick song. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Children's story, yeah. | ||
| Oh, wow. | ||
| Oh, that's right. | ||
| Once upon a time, not long ago... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, yeah. | |
| I didn't even recognize it. | ||
| Wow, it's so different. | ||
| I didn't even recognize it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| I need some fun in my brain to shake off that, because I hate when I screw up. | ||
| Or just bungle something. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I can have the best set ever, but I fuck up one joke and that shit will haunt me for days. | ||
| That's why I had to do another one right away. | ||
| I was sitting here looking at you like... | ||
| No, that was fucking awesome. | ||
| Don't worry about it, man. | ||
| People don't think that it comes out right every time. | ||
| People know. | ||
| That's the beauty of what it does. | ||
| I'm not even worried about the people. | ||
| Joe Rogan people have been nothing but good to me. | ||
| I'm just saying, me personally. | ||
| Me personally, right. | ||
| As an artist, I was like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
There. | |
| Nobody else will understand that except you right now. | ||
| Other people are like, it's no big deal, man. | ||
| It's no big deal. | ||
| It's still all awesome. | ||
| That's a beautiful song, man. | ||
| That religion song is a beautiful song. | ||
| A lot of people, it's going to be their anthem. | ||
| It's just me saying, like I said, what if God is real and religion is all just a big lie? | ||
| That's kind of how I look at it. | ||
| God might be real, man. | ||
| I kind of feel like it is. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| I think it's beneficial. | ||
| You're not going to be pleased with the motherfuckers murdering each other over the rules. | ||
| I think it's beneficial. | ||
| There's one rule. | ||
| We all know it, right? | ||
| Do unto others. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's the rule. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| That's the only rule. | ||
| I think it's beneficial to be humbled. | ||
| But my religion actually is the last line of that song. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Somebody needs to spark it and set one big fire. | |
| That's a real religion. | ||
| Everybody says weed's not a religion. | ||
| It's never taken a pot cookie and gotten on an airplane. | ||
| That's real religion. | ||
| That's real. | ||
| It's real. | ||
| It's humbling. | ||
| It makes you think about your childhood. | ||
| It makes you think about love and happiness. | ||
| It makes you think about honesty and friendship. | ||
| It makes you think about creativity. | ||
| That's real, man. | ||
| That's connecting you with the spirit of nature. | ||
| It made you paranoid, yes. | ||
| It made you feel weird. | ||
| It made you have all these crazy thoughts because it's connecting you to the spirit of nature, the mother earth, Gaia. | ||
| In a little baby dose of plant love. | ||
| And that baby dose of plant love just sparks every cannabinoid receptor in your fucking monkey brain. | ||
| And you start seeing shit in a way that you're not going to see without the weed. | ||
| Like it or not. | ||
| You're a man of your own creation. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| You have gotten where you got because of hard work and dedication. | ||
| So true, so true. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| You will have an experience when that marijuana spirit gets into your bloodstream. | ||
| It gets into your system and gives you a little dance. | ||
| And you can accept the fact that you were tuned into some other form of intelligence. | ||
| You can accept the fact that there's something about this thing that's making ideas explode inside your brain that had never been there before. | ||
| Or you can just fucking keep drinking coffee. | ||
| Go to work. | ||
| Just believe in stupid shit. | ||
| Is this one even working right now? | ||
| Oh, it is. | ||
| That one just has more... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you double rock. | |
| Is there a better voice one? | ||
| The silver one is better? | ||
| So it gives you a very specific sound? | ||
| Well, here's this one. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Here's this one. | ||
| Oh, it's deeper. | ||
| Is this compressed? | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Pretty much compressed. | ||
| It's low compression. | ||
| It'll make for better audio on the singing. | ||
| You could call me up and do dirty talk to me and I wouldn't even know it was you. | ||
| How are you doing? | ||
| Ooh, I'd get scared. | ||
| That's not what I want to hear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How are you doing kettlebell workouts? | |
| I'm doing battle ropes today, brother. | ||
| Today's battle rope day. | ||
| What do you got now, man? | ||
| We'll do another one. | ||
| Hopefully I can shake off that bullshit. | ||
| Oh, you son of a bitch. | ||
| Still? | ||
| Still? | ||
| It's still bothering me? | ||
| No, it's gone now. | ||
| I apologize with all my heart. | ||
| I did not think that that was going to distract you. | ||
| Dude, I've done it to every interview ever. | ||
| Because I won't turn off my phone, God forbid, in case I need to get there. | ||
| And it wasn't a judgment. | ||
| It was just like, I just couldn't... | ||
| The chords in my hand started playing another song, and then lyrics from another song came. | ||
| It's like some weird... | ||
| I've never written anything down. | ||
| Oh, right, right, right. | ||
| If a picture gets cross-referenced, I'm fucked. | ||
| That is such a fascinating way to do your music. | ||
| I know Jay-Z does his raps that way too. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's really fascinating. | ||
| I mean, for me, again, I think we discussed it, but if I get started as a rap thing, I believe you should have it all right here. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I don't need a band. | ||
| Well, you probably should, you know? | ||
| I mean, there's probably some benefit to having it all right there, you know? | ||
| Be able to pull on it anytime you want, instead of relying on pieces of paper. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you record it all anyway. | ||
| Like I said, when I open my eyes and saw something, and then your brain, you know, automatically is asking questions. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| So, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's not even, it's just like, it's not even like, fuck Joe. | ||
| It's like, what's going on? | ||
| Is something bad happening? | ||
| And that's enough that the song's gone. | ||
| It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. | ||
| I think it's cool for people to see that. | ||
| I should have kept my fucking eyes closed is what I should have did. | ||
| That's why I close my eyes a lot during performances because sometimes some motherfucker will turn around and do his Facebook photo shoot and selfie with me in the background in the middle of a concert. | ||
| Like, fuck, come on. | ||
| People used to go to concerts to watch concerts. | ||
| Now they're watching it through their phone for their YouTube posts. | ||
| Yeah, they're looking at their life through a little four-inch window. | ||
| Instead of living it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's distracting. | ||
| In comedy shows, you see a lot of that. | ||
| A lot of people holding their phones up. | ||
| You know, on one hand, it's nice if you want to take a picture of me, but on the other hand, it's kind of weird. | ||
| It's distracting. | ||
| This one's called Weakness. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Met a fine red-boned mommy She told me her name was Lucille. | |
| Met her on Fountain Avenue, sitting on the back of a Cadillac Coupe de Ville. | ||
| She said, I'm a liar, a thief, I'm a junkie, and I used to be a whore. | ||
| And I've been trying to shake this monkey so long, I just can't take it no more. | ||
| And she said, I got a weakness, I got a hunger, I got a Jones. | ||
| I'm sick and I need to get well. | ||
| I hurt deep in my bones. | ||
| I got a weakness, I got a fever, I got a thirst. | ||
| I'm sitting on the edge of a bubble just waiting for it to burst. | ||
| We talked all afternoon. | ||
| She made me cry, told some jokes. | ||
| She looked me deep in my eyes, told me love was nothing but a cool horse. | ||
| Her grandma died when she was five and she never did know her, folks. | ||
| Her father fell in a gunfight and her mother fired over the horse. | ||
| And she said, I got a weakness, I got a hunger, I got a Jones. | ||
| I'm sick and I need to get well, I hurt deep in my bones. | ||
| And I got a weakness, I got a fever, I got a thirst. | ||
| Sitting on the edge of the bubble, just waiting for it to burst. | ||
| She said, I slept with gangsters, thugs and smugglers, I slept with gangsters, thugs and smugglers, congressmen and governors. | ||
| I've seen therapists and holy men, but this weakness is my only friend. | ||
| Beats my need, it numbs my soul. | ||
| Starts to creep and take control. | ||
| Sell my flesh, I pierce my skin, and tomorrow I'll do it all again. | ||
| Cause I got a weakness, I got hunger, I got Jones. | ||
| Sicken me to get well, I hurt deep in my bones. | ||
| I got a weakness, I got a fever, I got a thirst. | ||
| I'm sitting on the edge of the bubble, just waiting for it to burst. | ||
| And you paint with a dark brush. | ||
| - You know? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sometimes. | |
| Yeah, almost always. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I mean, there's happiness in it, but you paint with it. | ||
| There's hope. | ||
| Yeah, there's that hope, a little bit. | ||
| All the interesting people do, though, unfortunately. | ||
| I hate giving people the impression that you have to make sad music, though, because, I mean, it's just not what I do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Or happy music. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I mean, I can't write that song. | ||
| I mean, jump around. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That's just a whole different deal. | ||
| It's a different time, too, right? | ||
| For you? | ||
| Do you hear that old stuff, the rap stuff, and go like, wow, that's a different time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I hear my voice, and I know I'm just a baby. | ||
| I didn't even find my voice until the third House of Pain record. | ||
| It's weird, isn't it? | ||
| When you look back on all the shit that you've done. | ||
| And then it took me like three albums to find my singing voice. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, Whitey Ford isn't my finest singing. | ||
| It's good work, but it's not my best. | ||
| Thank God nobody talked you out of putting out that record. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They tried. | |
| When you tell that story about, hey, they tried, that is so frustrating to me because it's always the case where people just, for whatever reason, they don't ever want to accept that a dude like you could do more than one different kind of thing, you know? | ||
| Yeah, I hear that, man. | ||
| Again, I follow those signs. | ||
| I just kind of... | ||
| You just go by your instincts. | ||
| I got to the point in House of Pain where I felt like I was showing up for the chicks, and that made me feel rather whore-like. | ||
| It must be hard to do things with a bunch of dudes, even if you love them, too. | ||
| Even if you love them. | ||
| Just writing songs with a bunch of other dudes. | ||
| Seems like a nightmare. | ||
| Well, musically, I was doing more than my share of the work. | ||
| Oh, I'm sure. | ||
| I'm sure. | ||
| Again, it just became not fun. | ||
| That's really what it was. | ||
| It just became a point where, and luckily I'm spoiled rotten enough in my life that if it wasn't fun, I wasn't doing it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I didn't care, you know, and the thing was, I wasn't uber rich when I quit House of Pain. | ||
| I had a few bucks, but it was going to be like, what's next in life? | ||
| What's the next stage? | ||
| I didn't know if I was going to make another record at all. | ||
| You know, a friend called and said, come to New York, fuck record deals, fuck labels, just get in the studio and smoke some dope, see what happens. | ||
| He heard me playing guitar in his living room one night and we gotta record that and this turns into that and what it's like is this and then... | ||
| None of it was mapped out in some superior plan we didn't have. | ||
| A lot of the best shit that happens is by accident. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| There's very few songs that are guaranteed to give me goosebumps. | ||
| But that song that you did with Carlos Santana, Turn Your Lights On? | ||
| You want it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck yeah! | |
| That's one of my all-time favorite songs. | ||
| Dude, that song, before you even pick up the guitar, there's something about that song where you know when a dude sings something where there's an authentic pain being expressed. | ||
| There's an authentic emotion. | ||
| Every word is qualified. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| By an experience. | ||
| And there's something that comes out of that. | ||
| That song. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| From Carlos Santana's motherfucking guitar, the 60 years of bullshit that guy's gone through in his life, 60 plus years, to all the shit you were going through when you wrote those lyrics and the way you were singing them, that's a fucking crispy song, man. | ||
| Thank you, man. | ||
| That song, woo! | ||
| It's crispy. | ||
| You hear that song and just woo! | ||
| You get those goosebumps. | ||
| One of them meant to be things. | ||
| We had discussed this in detail. | ||
| I had finished the Whitey Ford record and got out of surgery and was being... | ||
| Leaving a house. | ||
| You got fucked over. | ||
| Yeah, a lot of things happened at the same time where the accountant fucked me and then the hospital because the accountant fucked me, I canceled my insurance because I didn't have insurance. | ||
| I had a hospital bill at like 400 grand. | ||
| I went from overnight being like, Like I said, I had a few bucks, you know what I mean? | ||
| Probably had like cash, maybe like half a milli or something, you know what I mean? | ||
| You know how many people right now went, wait a minute, this motherfucker was depressed, he had half a million dollars? | ||
| No, one day, like the day before. | ||
| Oh, the day before. | ||
| And then the next day, like I owed the government, like fucking, after they took all the bread, like I still owed like the government and hospitals like half a milli. | ||
| So you went a million dollar swing in like a day. | ||
| Let's call it a week. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| Between hearing the news about getting screwed. | ||
| But then I had this song and somebody said Santana's looking for a song and he sent it and we talked about the rest, man. | ||
| But it was the first song he cut for that album. | ||
| He called it the centerpiece of his record. | ||
| I'm proud of that. | ||
| I'm proud of that. | ||
| Give me a call, man. | ||
| I ain't heard from you in like 15 years, Carlos. | ||
| Carlos Santana does not listen to this podcast. | ||
| Somebody that knows him does. | ||
| He's busy being Carlos Santana. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| He's tagged like 1,500 times on Twitter by the time everybody listens to that. | ||
| Oh, Carlos Santana. | ||
| Speaking of this, I found a rock on the beach yesterday. | ||
| I was with my kids and we found this rock and it had all these holes in it. | ||
| And I said, is that like from space? | ||
| Like, is that an asteroid or a meteorite or something like that? | ||
| Like, what is this? | ||
| And so I put on Twitter, I said, does anybody know, any geology people out there know what this is? | ||
| Joe Perry from Aerosmith is the first person to respond. | ||
| And he says it's a type of sea rock and the holes come from water erosion. | ||
| I was like, god damn! | ||
| The real Joe, and he's the first person, the first person that responds on our Twitter. | ||
| That's where this game of tag is nuts. | ||
| Joe Perry is on you. | ||
| He's on you. | ||
| Joe Perry's a cool motherfucker. | ||
| I've had conversations with him. | ||
| He's fucking Aerosmith, dude. | ||
| How you not cool if you're... | ||
| One of the bad guitars of all time. | ||
| Joe Perry's... | ||
| The baddest link of all time. | ||
| So many of them, too. | ||
| Not just that one. | ||
| Old school Aerosmith. | ||
| That's worldwide. | ||
| That's darkest corner of Africa bar. | ||
| You put that on, somebody in that bar is going to be like, Aerosmith. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I grew up in Boston, so Aerosmith is royalty. | ||
| They're Boston royalty. | ||
| They came from Boston, you know? | ||
| All that early shit, you know? | ||
| Walk This Way was just tremendous, tremendous fuel those guys had behind them. | ||
| And eventually it became ballads. | ||
| But the shocking thing is not that he follows you to me. | ||
| It's that he's a goddamn gemologist or whatever the hell. | ||
| Well, I think he's a part of that whole rock for science thing. | ||
| Is that what it's called? | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Let me find out if that's true. | ||
| There's something going on. | ||
| Rock the science. | ||
| Maybe this will be something we can pull up. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| There's something going on. | ||
| Rockets? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think there's... | ||
| I shouldn't have said that because I don't know the information. | ||
| See if you can Google that, anybody, Brian. | ||
| See if you can pull up because it's going to take too much to look. | ||
| But I think there's the Rockstars of Science. | ||
| Maybe that's it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Rockstars of Science. | ||
| And what they're trying to do is get kids to be excited about science. | ||
| Because so many kids are following Joe Perry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| No, kids are following rock stars. | ||
| Somebody junior high and elementary school kids. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How dare you. | |
| There's no kids. | ||
| How dare you. | ||
| No kids are following any rock stars nowadays, right? | ||
| They're all like, you know. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| You might get Lil Wayne. | ||
| You know, on that, you might get them kids. | ||
| Yeah, Bieber. | ||
| Little Wayne. | ||
| Right now, Joe Perry's just got, you know, me and you going like, damn! | ||
| Yeah, it's Joe Perry. | ||
| Yeah, there's a bunch of people in here, and then a bunch of science people. | ||
| This is interesting. | ||
| So it's actually a show. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| It's not Gemma. | ||
| The Rock Stars of Science. | ||
| What was Andy Dufresne in... | ||
| In that movie. | ||
| He liked to shape the rocks. | ||
| What did they call that? | ||
| Gem-tologist? | ||
| Is it a gemologist? | ||
| Was I right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It didn't sound right. | ||
| Gemologist is someone who studies rocks. | ||
| Just all rocks. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| They're geologists, though. | ||
| That's geologists. | ||
| Gemologist is someone who studies gems. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's a hologram. | ||
| Those Jews that are controlling the diamond business. | ||
| I know there's a name for it because that movie, The Shawshank Redemption, is my favorite movie. | ||
| They called him something in that. | ||
| Diamonds are very pretty. | ||
| There's no mistaking that. | ||
| But man, what an amazing job they've done in making diamonds like this valuable commodity. | ||
| Storing them in a warehouse and releasing them and keeping the prices elevated. | ||
| That's a meme right there. | ||
| Diamonds are very pretty. | ||
| Well, they are, Brian. | ||
| Okay, that's why people are willing to pay money for them. | ||
| But it's fascinating. | ||
| Yeah, that's crazy how they just keep so many off the market. | ||
| It's brilliant. | ||
| The way they've done it is brilliant. | ||
| You can't hate. | ||
| Isn't it kind of modeled after the gas industry? | ||
| I mean, I take it that's almost the same principle. | ||
| Sort of. | ||
| All these countries, we have so much in reserve, but you know what I mean? | ||
| But gas is necessary. | ||
| Diamonds are not necessary. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| It's much more gangster. | ||
| To talk people into buying a shiny rock for no fucking reason, it's much more gangster. | ||
| Not only talk people into it, but it's like you have to buy it for the woman you love. | ||
| Not only do you have to, but you have to. | ||
| That's the genius. | ||
| It's part of society now. | ||
| You're expected to buy a diamond ring for an engagement or wedding or whatever. | ||
| You're expected. | ||
| That's your dowry. | ||
| You can't be coming home with no rubies. | ||
| No, that's your dowry. | ||
| And it has to be like three months' salary. | ||
| Yeah, what's up with that? | ||
| Fucking assholes! | ||
| That's an asshole slogan. | ||
| I'll be honest though, I wish I had only spent three months on it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Damn! | |
| Where were you then? | ||
| It's a slogan, man. | ||
| It's like, have it your way at Burger King, you know? | ||
| They're just selling shitty cheeseburgers, you know? | ||
| Don't try to make it out to be more than it is. | ||
| The crazy thing is, my wife has an official one, engagement ring. | ||
| Right. | ||
| I flew her... | ||
| To Paris. | ||
| Just kind of like I decided. | ||
| It was like, no, it's time. | ||
| Paris? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, I was on tour. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Well, I flew her like out to Europe. | ||
| We hit Amsterdam and a few other places, but my plan was Paris, Midnight, Eiffel Tower, movie style. | ||
| Oh, wow, that's badass. | ||
| But like, I knew I had a jewelry guy here at home. | ||
| I'm sure you know who he is. | ||
| Dana put me on to him. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So he was, he's like, I got you as soon as you get back. | ||
| But I was like, I got to do this. | ||
| So I went to a little London Jewelry store and bought a $500 little sliver diamond ring. | ||
| My wife treasures that just as much as the other one because that's the one I gave her at the thing. | ||
| Aw, what a sweetie. | ||
| I'm like, yo, you would have saved me a lot of bread had I known that. | ||
| Well, I think they like both. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, but it's a weird thing. | ||
| This one is special because this one came. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| This one is, oh, that makes this one special. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It's a weird thing that people are willing to spend so much money on some little tiny piece of rock that doesn't really do anything. | ||
| That was very strange. | ||
| It was cold. | ||
| Yeah, a long time ago. | ||
| Pressurized coal. | ||
| There was a thing in Wired Magazine years back where there was a guy who was using Russian technology and he was creating diamonds, significant ones, like up to two and three carats, I think. | ||
| And they were also making different color ones, which are really rare, but they were able to make... | ||
| I was just going to say, I have an old, like 20-year-old, like I have a canary yellow diamond pinky ring. | ||
| It's really rare because it's natural, but nowadays it's like you can get them like... | ||
| That's why all these guys have like rainbow fluorescent, like diamond... | ||
| Well, that's all fake anyways, 90% of that shit. | ||
| But here's what's fascinating. | ||
| I have a great idea for a show, Joe. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| It's got to be somebody that can fight, though. | ||
| Richard Simmons. | ||
| I'm serious. | ||
| Does this have anything to do with diamonds? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Everything to do with diamonds. | ||
| Red carpet. | ||
| Somebody on the red carpet at all these events. | ||
| And all these cats that wear this ridiculous jewelry. | ||
| Primarily rappers. | ||
| A diamond tester. | ||
| Oh, that would be so rude. | ||
| That would be so rude. | ||
| You'd be blowing people's spots. | ||
| Got to do it. | ||
| It's ridiculous, man. | ||
| There's guys walking around that got like apartment complexes around their neck if they're real. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And those dudes, if they're real, I got guys that want to get at them. | ||
| How rude. | ||
| That is not very Islam of you, sir. | ||
| That is not very Islam of you, sir. | ||
| I know guys that want to know who they are and where they are. | ||
| This is what's fucked up about the machine that makes the diamonds. | ||
| I've talked to several women who have said this exact same thing. | ||
| They say that those diamonds wouldn't be as valuable to them because they came from a machine, that they want the kind that comes from the ground. | ||
| Even if it's just perfectly exactly duplicated. | ||
| It is a diamond. | ||
| Like, the only way you can tell that this diamond—and this is a fact. | ||
| Like, this is not a disputed thing. | ||
| The only way you can tell is if they tell you. | ||
| Like, they've taken these diamonds to gemologists, people who work in the diamond trade, the De Beers group, and they've looked at them, and they cannot distinguish these from perfect diamonds. | ||
| Like, they can make a perfect diamond. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So it's a real weird thing, but for women— That's why we lie to women. | |
| It's a real weird thing, but for women, that thing is that the one that's more valuable is the one they want. | ||
| They want the one that costs more. | ||
| It's a dowry. | ||
| That's what I'm telling you. | ||
| They actually want it to be worth more. | ||
| It's some sort of twisted revenge on the fact that original marriage was basically an exchange of property. | ||
| Yeah, a long time ago. | ||
| Daughter property for wife property. | ||
| The daughter property becomes wife property. | ||
| What are you giving me? | ||
| I think they do it for girls as much as they do it for themselves. | ||
| I think they do it to show other girls to have a big-ass bowling ball on their finger. | ||
| Look what he got me. | ||
| That's how my pussy is. | ||
| Look what he got me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| You know? | ||
| They want to let you know they rocked some motherfucker who brought him in a boulder, you know? | ||
| And it's like a little competition, like who did better, you know? | ||
| Well, I mean, to the same degree as we all want hot wives. | ||
| Right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Exactly. | ||
| We all want nice cars. | ||
| Yeah, but you want hot wives to actually fuck them. | ||
| We want nice cars to get the nice hot wife in it. | ||
| Before she's the wife, of course. | ||
| Then you buy her like an SUV or something. | ||
| The cars I like are not... | ||
| I don't like comfortable cars. | ||
| I like cars that are stupid. | ||
| My wife does not like any of my cars. | ||
| Yeah, my wife loves to drive my car. | ||
| My nice, you know, my fun, my toy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My toy car. | ||
| You got that dope Audi spaceship thing. | ||
| That's one of the most beautiful cars ever created. | ||
| That Audi R8. It's a masterpiece. | ||
| A masterpiece in like... | ||
| If you were a kid, like back in the 1980s and shit, and you look back at the future like, what's a car going to look like in the 2000s? | ||
| That Audi is it, man. | ||
| That's a fucking spaceship. | ||
| A four-wheel drive spaceship with paddle shifters. | ||
| Yeah, it's fun. | ||
| It's a dope car, man. | ||
| You got some stuff yourself. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My favorite car, I've got a Porsche GT3. GT3 RS. That's a stupid car. | ||
| Nobody should be able to buy that. | ||
| You shouldn't be able to buy something like that and just drive it around. | ||
| It's a race car. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| But you're so connected. | ||
| You know what I've really been getting into, man, though, recently? | ||
| I've really been getting into old cars. | ||
| Like, when I look at, like, there's something to me, like, I went for a long time, I didn't dig old cars, because I had a bad experience with a car I had built, I had a 1970 Barracuda built. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| But there's something about old cars. | ||
| If you could get them to run and drive them around, they're so much more satisfying. | ||
| If you could actually get a 1969 Camaro and drive that motherfucker around, you could actually get it to the point where you could actually drive it, make sure that it stops when you want it to, and make sure the blinkers work and all that bullshit. | ||
| If you could get it shook down to that point, you're in a goddamn time machine. | ||
| You're driving around in a working piece of art that sounds like a giant dick roaring as it goes down the street. | ||
| Yeah, I have one old car I want to build, but I haven't found the right one yet. | ||
| A 59 El Camino. | ||
| I haven't found the right situation where I've come across them and people would want too much for them. | ||
| It'd be in like Iowa. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a beautiful car. | ||
| It's another car. | ||
| It's a goddamn... | ||
| You're in a different time when you're in that car. | ||
| It's the first El Camino. | ||
| Got the skirts on the back wheels. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| You know, I do it kind of like... | ||
| 59 is a good year, too. | ||
| An interesting year. | ||
| You know, those cars of the early 50s or the late 50s and the early 60s, some amazing times, man. | ||
| Like the old Barracuda doesn't have the best shape in the world, but, man, it's got a weird shape representative of a strange time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, 1968. Big-ass, huge fuckin' muscle cars. | |
| Yeah, they slide all over the place with shitty steering. | ||
| Like, your car, that car is, like, intimately connected to every move of the steering wheel. | ||
| Oh, it's on rails, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember the day I bought it, I went and picked up my homie, and we were just going around, like, the residential neighborhood, and I was like, watch this. | ||
| And I was doing, like, 50. And just dead made a right. | ||
| Like that. | ||
| And there's a button you press on there where the shocks fill up with fluid so you don't get that. | ||
| It's crazy, man. | ||
| Well, it's got an almost perfect 50-50 weight balance because that's a mid-engine car. | ||
| That means the engine is behind you in your seat. | ||
| It's a brilliant piece of engineering, man. | ||
| I was told it's the poor man's Lamborghini. | ||
| No, that's silly. | ||
| It's a better car. | ||
| It's better looking. | ||
| Lamborghini looks like you're on coke. | ||
| If you're driving around a Lamborghini... | ||
| Honestly, between you and me, I couldn't spend... | ||
| When I went to buy that car, I went to a spot here in Pasadena where there's a bunch of car dealerships. | ||
| You know, high-end Porsche and all this stuff. | ||
| I went there and I went looking for an A8. Actually, just a sedan. | ||
| It's another beautiful car. | ||
| I had been driving basically 7 Series Beamers for years. | ||
| And I just wanted to switch it up. | ||
| And I heard that was the same or similar in that class. | ||
| So I went and saw it. | ||
| And the salesman told me, I told him why I like Beamers and why I've been driving them for so long. | ||
| And he was like, you don't want this car. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| I was like, that's exactly what I said to him. | ||
| I was like, what do you mean? | ||
| He's like, nah, this is just saying, he's like, this is a great fucking car. | ||
| And then I realized I think he knows who I am. | ||
| And he's like, you know, you don't want this car. | ||
| And I'm waiting. | ||
| I'm waiting for the pitch. | ||
| Like, okay, what car do I want then? | ||
| And it doesn't come. | ||
| And he's like, nah, this is just, you know, I was like, well, what do we, I was like, all right, well, cool. | ||
| I'm going to go next door and look at another car. | ||
| You know, it was like, there was a Bentley dealership right there. | ||
| And I went in there and saw that Bentley coupe and it was like, This thing was $250,000. | ||
| I'd feel like a jerk-off in this car. | ||
| I'd feel like an extreme jerk. | ||
| I went into the Jag and the new Jag wasn't out yet. | ||
| If that Jag would have been out, I might have got that just because I was like, well, you know, and I just wanted a car that day. | ||
| I've got a thing. | ||
| I've got to have a car and a truck. | ||
| You know, that's my thing. | ||
| There's sometimes more than that, but I gotta have a car and a truck. | ||
| Right. | ||
| First world problems. | ||
| Yeah, first world problems, right? | ||
| So then, you know, I didn't see that. | ||
| So I'm walking back to get to my car where I parked. | ||
| I have to go back through the Audi showroom. | ||
| And then I see the R8 in the corner, and it's white. | ||
| And I go in there looking at him, and then the kid comes over, and he's like, yeah, this shit's badass. | ||
| I was like, yeah, that's dope. | ||
| He starts talking to me about it. | ||
| And I'm like, just kind of nonchalantly, you know, in my brain saying, I can't get this fucking. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Why are we thinking that? | ||
| Just because it was one of them things. | ||
| It wasn't practical at all. | ||
| There was nothing practical about it. | ||
| There was no backseat for kids. | ||
| I was like, nobody's going for this. | ||
| My accountant's not going to go for this today. | ||
| They're going to break my balls over it. | ||
| But then I'm like, ah, it was white. | ||
| So I was like, I hate white cars, man. | ||
| I hate them. | ||
| And he goes, I got a black-on-black carbon fiber one in the back. | ||
| And I don't even think he thought I was looking. | ||
| He was just like, you want to see it? | ||
| I was like, sure, I'll come see it. | ||
| And I see it, and you see my car. | ||
| What time of the day was it when you saw it? | ||
| Like four. | ||
| Oh, that's even more important. | ||
| And they pulled it right up, bang. | ||
| Yeah, where the sun is just slowly starting to make its way across the sky. | ||
| And the carbon fiber was just popping, and I was just saying, and I was like, oh my God. | ||
| If you could buy it, why wouldn't you buy it? | ||
| I'll tell you, the car looked like a sneaker to me. | ||
| And I'm a sneaker freak. | ||
| So I was like, oh my god, that looks like it's just a... | ||
| It reminded me of an Air Jordan somehow. | ||
| That's so hilarious. | ||
| And then so I'm like, yo, I was like, let me take it for a spin, man. | ||
| And they were like, nah, we don't do that. | ||
| We'll take you for a ride. | ||
| And he takes me out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| For some reason. | ||
| This is what they told me. | ||
| They were like, unless they know that it's basically sold. | ||
| Unless they're looking at you like, you're buying this car. | ||
| And I had no inkling yet of buying the car. | ||
| What you should do, just sit down in the passenger seat, take a CD out, put in, jump around, and point to it and go, that's me, dude. | ||
| I didn't have to do that. | ||
| Just let me drive the fucking car. | ||
| And we go down, and it's back there by the Rose Bowl where it's all canyon. | ||
| And we get like three blocks from the dealership. | ||
| He pulls over and he gets out and he's like, get in and drive the fucking car. | ||
| Smartest thing the kid ever did in his life. | ||
| That is a good move. | ||
| He was busting the rules. | ||
| I think his bosses didn't know shit about me or anything. | ||
| And I'm tattooed to the gills. | ||
| I didn't even have jewels. | ||
| I like how you say that. | ||
| I didn't even have jewels. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't have no jewels on. | ||
| A lot of folks be walking around with jewels on, man. | ||
| I didn't have my jewels on. | ||
| Maybe it's a good sales move by him to pretend they won't let you drive it. | ||
| Either way. | ||
| And then get outside of town and get, I'm going to get gangster because I know you're a bad motherfucker. | ||
| Take these keys, man. | ||
| Or he just didn't tell his bosses, either one of them. | ||
| Just like, go ahead, drive it. | ||
| Smartest thing I ever did. | ||
| I pulled it back into the dealership. | ||
| Buying this right now. | ||
| This is my car. | ||
| And then I'm like, alright, let me show the wifey. | ||
| And I'm sure the wifey is going to be like, oh, what are you doing? | ||
| The kids can't sit in that. | ||
| I text her, I think I'm going to buy this car. | ||
| And send a picture of it. | ||
| And I'm waiting and I'm like, yeah, okay, somebody's going to come talk sense to me right now not to buy this car. | ||
| I wasn't sure, is this a midlife crisis? | ||
| I was never really a big sports car guy. | ||
| I was like a nice sedan, like old man kind of thing. | ||
| And then my wife sends back to the first text and says, you deserve it, baby. | ||
| Oh, that's beautiful. | ||
| I was like, fuck, dude, I gotta buy this car. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| You do deserve it. | ||
| That's why I wanted it with my toy. | ||
| This has maybe been one of the most heartwarming podcasts we've ever done, Brian. | ||
| That's because of his heart. | ||
| Beside your pussy-tearing stories. | ||
| Besides that, everything else has been wonderfully heartwarming. | ||
| Well, I was glad to find out how this functioning, you know, you could just call upon that whenever you want. | ||
| The boner pill works. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| Having a car like that is like driving a ride. | ||
| You're in a ride every day. | ||
| And you don't even have to abuse the law. | ||
| Like, best people don't understand. | ||
| Just turning corners at normal speed, it's like you're so connected to it. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| And you don't even have to be a nut on the freeway and you get places a lot quicker because you can just dart in between. | ||
| The control is so amazing on those cars. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| You can do things that I would call other people assholes for. | ||
| That's a mid-engine, four-wheel drive car. | ||
| That's a crazy car, man. | ||
| That's a brilliant piece of engine. | ||
| Yeah, you put it in that sport mode and put those shock absorbers and fill them up with the fluid and that car is on rails, man. | ||
| That's the crazy thing about those old cars, too, is that they do a lot of adjusting for you. | ||
| If you fuck up, like, there's traction control that comes in, stability control, and anti-lock brakes. | ||
| They do a lot of correcting for you. | ||
| Like, they make it much more safe to drive. | ||
| Those cars are thinking while you're driving. | ||
| The thing that bothers me, though, I love that, but the thing that bothers me is that you miss out on this feel when you're driving a steering wheel that doesn't have power steering, and you're hitting brakes that you feel the brakes lock up. | ||
| You have more of a connection to a car, those old cars. | ||
| It's not good. | ||
| It's terrible if you want to be safe. | ||
| But as far as thrills... | ||
| I like driving it and driving it fast because every once in a while, even though it's that smooth and cool and everything, you're so low, you feel every bump. | ||
| And then also every once in a while, you do something wild enough that makes you realize you've got to be scared a little bit. | ||
| Women will never understand, and dudes who have never driven cars like that will never understand either. | ||
| That's one of those things. | ||
| You talk to people and they're like, I don't give a fuck about cars. | ||
| Man, you say that, but I don't even understand what you're saying. | ||
| You either haven't driven one of those fucking things, or you can't afford it, so you don't even want to fuck with it, which I understand. | ||
| They've only ridden in them. | ||
| They've never drove a car. | ||
| Yeah, if somebody just came up to you and said, do you want this? | ||
| You'd be like, fuck yeah. | ||
| And then you drive in and you'd be like, oh man, this thing is awesome. | ||
| You would get it then. | ||
| But that's what happened. | ||
| First world problems. | ||
| The guy was like, get in, drive this. | ||
| He knew. | ||
| He knew the minute I put my foot on that thing and took a corner, I was going to be like, this car is going home with me. | ||
| Funny thing is, I remember a guy came up and was like, I want to look at this. | ||
| I was like, get away from my car. | ||
| Like before the paperwork was done. | ||
| Oh, that's funny. | ||
| So get away from my car, man. | ||
| That's my car. | ||
| He's sitting in it and farting. | ||
| I wasn't having none of that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Can't be. | ||
| That's an impulse buy that you could pull off. | ||
| You're goddamn Everlast. | ||
| But if you're a dude who's living in an apartment and you're driving one of those things, you're an asshole. | ||
| Yeah, that's not a good look. | ||
| You've got to be real careful about things like that. | ||
| Because it's just like financing. | ||
| It just makes it so tempting. | ||
| It's almost doable. | ||
| If I just work a couple extra shifts... | ||
| Washing dishes or whatever the fuck I'm gonna do and slinging drinks. | ||
| I can just maybe get that Corvette. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It was $150 and it was still like, ooh. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It made me go... | ||
| It's real money. | ||
| I mean, like, you know, a Lambo or something. | ||
| That's like 250s, you know what I mean? | ||
| 300. I think it's a way better looking car. | ||
| I like the Audi better. | ||
| I honestly do. | ||
| Yeah, it's not. | ||
| I would never, again, the reason I started talking with it is I would never, I mean, that is about my limit of where I would spend on a car. | ||
| It's not understated because it's a pretty audacious car, but it's classy. | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| It's like it's designed well. | ||
| I'm Iron Man. | ||
| Dude, come on. | ||
| Fuck, that's what I'm talking about, bitch! | ||
| Shit! | ||
| I'm driving around. | ||
| That's the one thing still. | ||
| That car's like three years old now. | ||
| That's the great thing is the body style ain't going nowhere right now. | ||
| But kids still. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They just light up when you drive by some kids. | ||
| They're like, Iron Man, come on. | ||
| Some people don't get it. | ||
| First of all, they get upset that you're talking about some shit they can never afford. | ||
| Sometimes people get upset about that. | ||
| They're like, these two rich dudes talking about buying 150,000 cars. | ||
| Are you fucking kidding me? | ||
| It's the last thing people want to hear. | ||
| Oh well. | ||
| Oh well. | ||
| Hey, I'm 43 fucking years old, man. | ||
| I've worked 20 fucking years of my life, man. | ||
| I hear you. | ||
| I pay mortgages, many of them. | ||
| I hear you, man. | ||
| Some of them don't even belong to family members of mine, man. | ||
| I can buy myself a... | ||
| That's what my wife taught me. | ||
| That's... | ||
| You deserve that. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| You earned it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Go get that. | ||
| I'm a self-indulgent motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah, I believe in... | ||
| It's the nature of what we do. | ||
| Yeah, I believe it's important to be a little self-indulgent, to be a Canadian. | ||
| I was told by a good friend when I first, like, kind of made it. | ||
| And I was stressed about this, that, and the other. | ||
| And he's like, every once in a while, go out and buy yourself something. | ||
| Whether it's a pair of sneakers or something, just go out and you'll feel better. | ||
| There's a certain amount of management you have to do with your impulses, but I think it's important to be impulsive on a certain level. | ||
| It's important to just go with your instincts on shit. | ||
| Whether it's with people, or with friendships, or with business decisions, or with writing material, or writing stuff. | ||
| Before my kids, man, I would live to the edge, Joe. | ||
| I'd live to like a penny in the bank. | ||
| Because a check always comes. | ||
| Eventually. | ||
| I won't lie. | ||
| I got a good thing going on, man. | ||
| Just jump around, man. | ||
| That thing don't go away, man. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I could live like a pretty... | ||
| See, I've been here so many times and we talked for so many hours. | ||
| I don't know what I've said to you or not, but I could be that... | ||
| What's the dude who got caught with the hooker in Hollywood? | ||
| Grant? | ||
| Hugh Grant? | ||
| Hugh Grant. | ||
| He had a character in a movie that lived off the money of his dad's song. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And I could be that guy for the rest of my life and not do a fucking thing. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| So I was that guy until I had kids. | ||
| Now it's like, oh shit, I gotta put some of this away. | ||
| So, but I mean, I would trick money off, Joe. | ||
| Like money, money. | ||
| Walk into bars, buy a bar. | ||
| Not the whole bar, but you know what I mean? | ||
| Buy the bar for the night. | ||
| Like, how much did you make tonight? | ||
| Three grand? | ||
| Everybody's drinking free. | ||
| Here's five. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Stupid shit. | ||
| I remember one night in Hollywood when I was real young, first came back to L.A. with like a big stack of money in my pocket. | ||
| Went to this club and this bartender chick was just ignoring the shit out of me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| It was a packed night, but I was just like, motherfucker, this bitch really ignored me like five times. | ||
| So I pulled out just a stack of hundreds and I started crumbling them up, just throwing them at her. | ||
| Throwing them at her. | ||
| And then she realized there was like $700 on the floor and it came over. | ||
| Next thing I know, I'm running the bar. | ||
| That's hilarious, though. | ||
| Just throwing money at her, just as long as the number was high enough. | ||
| Crumpling it up and hitting her with it. | ||
| And she accepted that because it was $100 bills. | ||
| You can't do that shit with 20s. | ||
| No, she got very upset that she was getting something thrown at her. | ||
| And then she went and picked it up and was like, he threw... | ||
| And it was like, fucking, these are $100 bills. | ||
| This sounds like a movie in the 1980s, and you would wind up sleeping with her that night, and she would regret it because you were in a band, and you were in a bus, and you were on the road. | ||
| Let's write it, dude. | ||
| Throwing hundreds at her face. | ||
| Let's write it. | ||
| Yeah, I've bought a bar before. | ||
| Bought the whole bar around the drinks. | ||
| I used to kick everybody out of the comedy store, I'd buy the whole audience around the drinks. | ||
| I used to love doing that. | ||
| Because the comedy store never had any... | ||
| No one watches the crowd. | ||
| Like, if you go to a legitimate comedy club and people start mouthing off, the security guy will come over and tell them, look, you're going to have to leave. | ||
| You're disrupting the performance. | ||
| The comedy store, there's no security. | ||
| I used to go there all the time. | ||
| Yeah, the people that work there... | ||
| On Monday nights, we used to go there and just get nuts. | ||
| Yeah, well, what is the open mic night? | ||
| Is it Sunday? | ||
| No. | ||
| Sunday and Monday. | ||
| Sunday and Monday. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There was a night where it was, you were back, like, if you went in there, you'd see a bunch of shit comics, but you were guaranteed almost that some large cat would walk in and do something. | ||
| Like, it was like Monday. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was like, this was like almost 15. Yeah, back in that, I think it's still probably like that. | |
| Eddie Murphy might pop in and do a set. | ||
| Last week it was Mike Tyson. | ||
| It's like every week it's somebody. | ||
| The week before that was Chappelle. | ||
| And Mike Tyson is actually doing stand-up there, which is crazy. | ||
| Imagine going to the fucking comedy store and you see Mike Tyson do a set. | ||
| I want to see somebody heckle him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I want to see. | |
| I don't think they're going to. | ||
| That's what I want to see. | ||
| Boy, you're taking some real big chances. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's the jackass movie I want to see. | |
| Did you see in the Jackasses when they let that Butterbean dude punch him? | ||
| Knoxville's a nut, man. | ||
| That guy's bonafide. | ||
| But I would like to talk to him about how badly that fucked him up. | ||
| Has he never been in here? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| We need to figure out how to get him in here because that would be a good one. | ||
| I'd be listening to that multiple times. | ||
| He let Butterbean tee off on him, like full clip. | ||
| Didn't like a bull break his dick, literally? | ||
| Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| That was after he was a movie star. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| After he was a movie star, he puts a fucking blindfold on and lets a bull flip him to the air. | ||
| I love those movies where he's in there with a bull and the scene's over and he's like, is this okay, though? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is this okay? | |
| He's crazy. | ||
| Those guys are ridiculous. | ||
| But that Butterbean shit was... | ||
| He just stood in front of Butterbean, but Butterbean just KO'd him. | ||
| Yeah, there's another one where the party boy guy gets punched by a guy I recognized. | ||
| An MMA fighter? | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, I remember that one. | ||
| He actually tried to have an MMA fight with a real guy from England. | ||
| And he fought a Thai boxing chick that whipped the shit out of him, too. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I think Dunn, right? | ||
| Dunn fought him, Ryan Dunn. | ||
| Is he the guy who died in the car accident? | ||
| Yeah, unfortunately. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| Yeah, those guys are nuts, man. | ||
| Those guys are... | ||
| They're living on the edge, man, you know? | ||
| Yeah, but letting dudes punch you in the head like that, that is no bueno. | ||
| I bet you all them dudes, I mean, as sad as that Ryan Dunn thing is, I wonder if, like, in the scheme of the story of life, if that's the better death or if you would have made it to 90 and been boring and decrepit. | ||
| Because they live that life, you know what I mean? | ||
| As much as they get paid to do that shit, there was a time when they weren't. | ||
| I think one of the first things, either Bam, I think it was Knoxville, didn't he shoot himself with a.44 Magnum? | ||
| He put a bulletproof vest on and had somebody shoot him. | ||
| I think nobody would shoot him, so I think he wound up doing it himself. | ||
| Oh my god, are you sure? | ||
| I'm pretty sure. | ||
| And that was for like an internet mag when the internet wasn't anything. | ||
| That's a silly bitch. | ||
| So you know those guys lived for that charge, that rush. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, the problem is he killed somebody with him. | ||
| I always equate him to like, you know, who must be nuts and why I think it should be a more explored topic is rodeo clowns. | ||
| Those dudes who like fucking get the bulls to chase them. | ||
| What kind of nut do you have to be to be that guy? | ||
| That's a hard living, man. | ||
| That's a hard way to pay your bills. | ||
| It can't be about the money. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it can't be about the money. | ||
| It's got to be about the money and the thrill. | ||
| The bull. | ||
| That's what people were saying about this tornado thing. | ||
| Sometimes people, they say stupid shit when it comes to why do people live in these tornado areas. | ||
| They can't fucking leave. | ||
| They don't have any money. | ||
| People are born and really poor. | ||
| They can't afford to live there. | ||
| Yeah, they barely get by. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's where they grow up. | |
| And for the most part, everyone they know is there. | ||
| It ain't that easy to just move. | ||
| But it costs fucking money, man. | ||
| And a lot of people, once you get a job... | ||
| Well, people will say the same thing when the big one hits here. | ||
| And it's like, well, how could you live there knowing that was going to eventually come? | ||
| But my point is, once you get a job as a rodeo clown, that's how you pay your fucking bills. | ||
| That's how you pay your fucking bills, man. | ||
| It's hard to jump off that rodeo clown thing where you're getting, you know, $1,500 a week or whatever the fuck those guys are getting and then try to get a job where you get $400 a week. | ||
| And you miss that other 900 bucks. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| By the way, the GT3 is what Dunn killed himself in. | ||
| Yeah, saw it. | ||
| Yeah, he went around a turn. | ||
| He missed an exit and went straight into the woods. | ||
| Yeah, he was going ridiculously fast, drunk. | ||
| Yeah, that's the part. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| That's my one. | ||
| Hey, give me a cab. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I got a couple hundred bucks. | ||
| Even if I'm going all the way across town. | ||
| There was no cabs. | ||
| He was out in the woods. | ||
| He was out in the woods of Pennsylvania. | ||
| Crazy fucks. | ||
| If you really think about it, it's amazing there's not more crashes because there's alcohols everywhere and people are driving everywhere. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| I remember something like on Real Sports or something like that where they went and really filmed and checked out a football game and how fucked up they are before and after and that the cops don't really do much. | ||
| They just let all these people, like thousands of people leave those football games. | ||
| Inebriated driving their cars. | ||
| That's a great point. | ||
| I never even thought about that because how many, what is it, 50,000? | ||
| What is a football stadium? | ||
| 50 to 70,000. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jesus! | |
| So 70,000 people. | ||
| Let's say 1% of them are drunk. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| My God. | ||
| Yeah, or concerts, and those people usually have drugs on top of that, like acid. | ||
| But football in particular. | ||
| We didn't say baseball. | ||
| You go to the Dodger Stadium, there's not people fucking in the parking lot fucking raging, barbecuing, and having four cases of beer sitting outside their RV. Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Football, it's like a fucking hold. | ||
| They get there in the morning, they barbecue, and they're fucking shit-faced before the first quarter even starts. | ||
| How much of football is gambling? | ||
| A lot, right? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| A lot. | ||
| A lot of why people love it is gambling. | ||
| Gotta be. | ||
| What are people in the Midwest? | ||
| Is there bookies all over the place? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Like secret bookies? | ||
| I couldn't tell you, but there must be. | ||
| There's bookies. | ||
| I can give you five bookies right now. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| This is a respectable program, sir. | ||
| Those bookies need to pay their taxes. | ||
| That's what I say. | ||
| My bookies do pay their taxes. | ||
| From St. Bart's. | ||
| Or something like that. | ||
| That's a lot of those dudes that were, you know, they're just starting to allow poker again in the United States. | ||
| Internet poker. | ||
| They're doing it in Nevada. | ||
| And the way it works is you have to be in Nevada when you get online. | ||
| They have to do it and actually gamble from Nevada. | ||
| But as long as you do it from Nevada, it's legal. | ||
| Which is a strange thing, but you can play ultimate poker. | ||
| So none of these poker, hundreds of poker sites I hear about, they're just free sites then? | ||
| Well, they're either free sites or they're illegal sites. | ||
| And they were fine for a while. | ||
| Well, I mean, how could you be illegal and be like, you know, I'm talking about ones I would have heard of are all over the television and stuff like that. | ||
| Yeah, those are the free ones. | ||
| But some of those guys got in trouble for doing illegal shit too. | ||
| There was some famous ones that got in trouble. | ||
| But the majority of the people who were involved in it, when it was making billions of dollars, they had to flee. | ||
| And they all had to go to, like, the Canary Islands and shit. | ||
| The Caymans. | ||
| Yeah, you know, what's that one? | ||
| Not Belize, but... | ||
| Costa Rica. | ||
| Costa Rica is a lot of them in Costa Rica, too. | ||
| These poor guys. | ||
| I mean, they're essentially, they took their business away with law. | ||
| People were spending money, and people were gambling and doing what they want to do with their money, and these guys were collecting millions. | ||
| They were making millions a day. | ||
| And then also, they came around with a new law that said, you know what, bitches? | ||
| We're not happy with you guys getting rich that easy. | ||
| So... | ||
| You know, you've leeched the profits. | ||
| They essentially stop progress. | ||
| They stop the ability to gamble on the internet, even though it's sort of a weird form of progress. | ||
| It's still progress in a freedom sense. | ||
| It allows you to do with your money things that were unavailable before. | ||
| Whether or not you want gambling to be legal, I want you to be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do. | ||
| I don't want to have any control over your life because I don't want you to have any control over mine. | ||
| So as soon as we allow people to come in and say, you can't gamble on the internet, like, Why are you fucking talking about? | ||
| Why would you tell me what I can do with my 20 bucks? | ||
| Why do you give a fuck? | ||
| Why is this even a conversation? | ||
| If you need to get some taxes out of them... | ||
| Well, it's not sanctioned gambling like the lottery. | ||
| It should be sanctioned. | ||
| It should be sanctioned. | ||
| It should all be taxable. | ||
| But that's the point. | ||
| That's what they're doing now. | ||
| They're opening it up. | ||
| I'm sure they're getting their rake of that. | ||
| Yeah, and I'm sure the local casinos probably weren't very happy with it either. | ||
| You know, the card casinos that were making a lot of money having people come in and play poker, all of a sudden you can be naked playing poker at home. | ||
| Yeah, there's a couple right down here, like Bell Gardens and a few places. | ||
| Yeah, so I'm sure those people must have lost money. | ||
| There has to be some reasons why they would limit your freedom to gamble. | ||
| But ultimately, it's just freedom. | ||
| The crazy thing to me is the explosion of poker in the last, let's say, 8 to 10 years. | ||
| It's TV. TV wrote people in. | ||
| That whole camera thing is totally... | ||
| Isn't that amazing? | ||
| Bizarre. | ||
| It just makes me crazy. | ||
| And it's also TV combined with the, that's the new American dream. | ||
| That quick, easy, not only buck, but you're super famous and you win the World Series of Poker and you're the fucking man. | ||
| Mike Goldberg just interviewed some dude on the last UFC and he won $18 million in a poker tournament. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jeez. | |
| And you're fighting? | ||
| What are you doing fighting? | ||
| Nobody makes that much money in a fight. | ||
| I mean, maybe Floyd Mayweather does, but that's about it as far as human beings. | ||
| That is an insane amount of money. | ||
| $18 million in a fucking poker tournament. | ||
| They make real money. | ||
| Because people love it. | ||
| If you get enough people that love it and they're willing to throw their chips in... | ||
| I mean, how many people had to be in that for you to win? | ||
| I mean, that's a 10,000 people tournament or something. | ||
| I think it's an expensive buy-in, too. | ||
| Because those guys are worth so much money, they'll do buy-ins. | ||
| That big World Series one, the big one in Vegas, they get up to like 8,000 people now starting those things, man. | ||
| You know, we should have Bruce Buffer come on and explain that shit for us. | ||
| $10,000 buy-ins. | ||
| I've been meaning to get Bruce Buffer on here anyway. | ||
| We'll have him come in here and explain that shit to us because Bruce Buffer is like a serious poker player. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Yeah, he's legit. | ||
| He goes to the World Series of Poker. | ||
| He makes it to the final table. | ||
| He's legit. | ||
| Bruce Buffer's won tournaments and shit. | ||
| He wins. | ||
| Poker's a tricky game, man. | ||
| Ari Shafir, he used to make a living doing poker. | ||
| When everything sucked for him as a comedian... | ||
| I think I remember seeing him on a few shows. | ||
| Dude, Ari Shafir, when things were sucking for him as a comedian, he was making $30,000 a year playing poker. | ||
| Just go into the local casinos, win tournaments, because he's smart. | ||
| Because he's a smart dude and he can calculate shit. | ||
| He knows how to play the game and he's disciplined. | ||
| And he would just make cash. | ||
| And you've got to be able to keep your face stoned to a certain degree. | ||
| Yes, yeah. | ||
| That's a big deal. | ||
| Yeah, there's something in not giving it up. | ||
| Or avoid any kind of psychological giveaway. | ||
| That's what I like watching, how that stuff works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I wonder if you play all the time. | |
| The math is finite. | ||
| Most people can learn that. | ||
| That's where the talent really comes in, is that whole psychological side. | ||
| I mean, knowing math is talented, but you know what I'm getting at. | ||
| It's the more artistic part of it. | ||
| I wonder if you play it all the time, if you get really good at just smelling bullshit. | ||
| You get good at everything. | ||
| You would think. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, people get better at all the subtle nuances of anything they attempt, whether it's stand-up comedy or playing music or anything. | ||
| I would imagine that if you interact with people playing a card game for high stakes for a long period of time, you'd probably smell some shit on people when they were full of shit. | ||
| Just smell something. | ||
| Little intangible green light. | ||
| Or not. | ||
| Or just kid yourself. | ||
| And blow your fat water cash. | ||
| You would naturally just get a sense of that movie, True Romance, where Christopher Walken's talking about the tells. | ||
| There's 19 tells. | ||
| You would think you would at least have more of a crinkled brow. | ||
| Because there's people that say psychologically, If you're lying, you look a certain way. | ||
| Or if you're trying to recall something, you look a different way. | ||
| Like the way your brain works. | ||
| You can figure out some of that stuff legitimately. | ||
| And when people know that, I don't trust them. | ||
| From then on, you know the moves. | ||
| You know it's left or right. | ||
| And you can cheat. | ||
| Yeah, you cheat motherfucker looking up to your left when you know you should be looking down to your right. | ||
| Whichever one that one is. | ||
| It only works if you're amongst unsuspecting people. | ||
| Nobody can have knowledge that you have that. | ||
| I think everybody's scared of losing privacy, and I agree. | ||
| Someone shouldn't be able to access your privacy random. | ||
| Someone shouldn't be able to access your email or see what's in your computer. | ||
| But I do believe that eventually it's going to be a good thing for the world to have no privacy. | ||
| It sounds stupid, but I think that a lot of the problems that we have is that you can get away with shit. | ||
| A lot of the problems that we have with as far as... | ||
| Committing crimes, doing bad deeds to people, is that people can't literally read each other's minds. | ||
| I think that's ultimately where we're going. | ||
| I think we're going to be able... | ||
| There's going to be no lying anymore. | ||
| I think we're going to read. | ||
| There's also one other side of it too. | ||
| I think a lot of people's emotional and problems stuff is not realizing that everybody's exactly like you. | ||
| Even though you think you're a thing or whatever's wrong with you or whatever you think or that crazy whatever thing that happens to you is only happening to you and you're embarrassed. | ||
| There's a lot of things like that that people don't realize every single body has experienced on some level. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Insecurity. | ||
| You're talking about a one consciousness almost. | ||
| A single consciousness. | ||
| Except for the crazy people. | ||
| That's a problem. | ||
| Well, you can eliminate them easier. | ||
| You gotta find them and kill them. | ||
| But who's willing to make that call? | ||
| You can nullify them. | ||
| Nullify them? | ||
| Pen them up. | ||
| Box them up. | ||
| But then they get out and it becomes a goddamn Stephen King movie. | ||
| Yeah, well, it's going somewhere someday. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Something's gonna happen. | ||
| You're a thoughtful guy. | ||
| When you look at society and you look at shit like what's going down in Turkey and the clampdown on the internet where the government's worried about people being able to rise and the Second Amendment debates and all the shit that's going on. | ||
| How do you see this fucking thing turning out when you look at our world? | ||
| I don't think a lot of it matters, man. | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| I just think eventually, you know what I mean? | ||
| The lights are going to go out. | ||
| For you. | ||
| For everybody. | ||
| For everybody. | ||
| I'm talking about literally, not our lives. | ||
| I'm talking about sooner or later, a lot of this is going to go wrong. | ||
| I don't know how much fuel... | ||
| I mean, I'm not an expert, but the fuels that we use so rapidly right now can't be infinite. | ||
| You want to hear something interesting? | ||
| I talked to a weather scientist, and he told me that even if we chopped down every tree in the world, we'd still have a couple million years of air. | ||
| Do you know that? | ||
| Everybody's worried about losing all the air. | ||
| What are we going to do? | ||
| Quality too, you know what I mean? | ||
| It's true. | ||
| But the world is far more durable than we pretend it is. | ||
| I'm not talking about the world or the planet. | ||
| I'm talking about our creations within it. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| And our use of... | ||
| Again, I just said, I'm no expert, but fossil fuels cannot be infinite. | ||
| No, it can't. | ||
| So eventually, the lights are going to go out and we're all going to be swamp people. | ||
| That's funny because I don't think so. | ||
| I think that I would have never figured out how to make... | ||
| You want to know honestly? | ||
| That's what I hope. | ||
| I would have never figured out how to make a regular engine and I'm never going to figure out how to make a fucking electric engine either. | ||
| I can shoot my gun and I can reload bullets. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| For sure there's some people way smarter than me that are looking at all these problems and the same sort of genius that allowed people to get to the point where we have flying metal tubes that take you from New York to Paris in five hours. | ||
| You're going to have the same kind of shit with everything. | ||
| People are going to eventually innovate past where we're at. | ||
| I have a full belief in that. | ||
| But the lights are going to go out one day. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
| I think it's going to change, but I don't think the lights are going to go out. | ||
| They might go out for a little while and then come back on. | ||
| I mean, at any point in time, there could be a series of colossal disasters, natural disasters. | ||
| And we just look at the history of the world that we know about. | ||
| For sure, there's been some, at least, I think there's four or five extinction events that have been marked throughout history that we know of right now. | ||
| And pretending we know everything that happened over the Four point whatever billion years of the Earth's time, at this point, there's a lot of shit they don't know. | ||
| Are we getting into ancient aliens again? | ||
| No. | ||
| Getting into the fact that people have been lucky that we made it to this point, but we could go just like the dinosaur went. | ||
| It's really easy. | ||
| That's my point. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| But that doesn't... | ||
| I mean, will another society eventually rise up? | ||
| Yeah, okay, okay, whatever. | ||
| But as far as I'm concerned, I got my daily problems, I don't... | ||
| I don't... | ||
| The government and the clamp down on the internet, fuck the internet. | ||
| I honestly told... | ||
| I've said many, many times, if I could get rid of one thing, like, I think for every great thing the internet's done, there's a thousand slimy, scummy, fucking, awful, rotten things about it. | ||
| Wow, that's interesting. | ||
| I look at it completely opposite. | ||
| I think for every 100 things it does. | ||
| Well, I mean, it changed my whole... | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It changed the trajectory of a whole business that, you know, I depended on, too. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I think the internet's... | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Took the carpet out from under... | ||
| It enabled thievery on levels that, you know, I never would have imagined in, like, 1995. Thievery meaning people illegally downloaded songs. | ||
| Yeah, not only that, okay, and then let's just go with the, you know, small things like, you know, back, you know, maybe in the 90s, if there was a guy who liked fucking pigs, you know what I mean, he'd be a lone fucking wolf somewhere that, you know, would never really act on it or anything. | ||
| Now there's probably, you could probably find a website dedicated to it. | ||
| Yeah, pigfucker.com. | ||
| Oh, most certainly. | ||
| These people gather and they fuck pigs. | ||
| That's bad? | ||
| That's bad for, yeah. | ||
| Why is it okay to eat pigs, but it's not okay to fuck them? | ||
| That's what I want to know. | ||
| I mean, I feel like that doesn't make any sense. | ||
| I love you, dude. | ||
| Podcast, this might be over after. | ||
| I don't feel like... | ||
| I don't know if I have any response to that. | ||
| Legitimately, I don't feel like that makes any sense. | ||
| I feel like if you're, you know, if you will... | ||
| Okay, why can't we fuck people and eating them's wrong? | ||
| Well, it's not wrong if you're trapped, like a car crashed in the Andes Mountains. | ||
| Slaughtering a person and just eating a person... | ||
| Well, people have done it. | ||
| I mean, the whole Bonner party, those people that got stuck in the Rockies, people have done it. | ||
| And it's a notoriously fucking bad story. | ||
| It's not cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's not like things you should do on a regular basis. | ||
| Same with fucking pigs. | ||
| Let's just apply the same logic. | ||
| Let's apply the same logic. | ||
| How about you're stuck on an island and there's no people to fuck, but you got a pig. | ||
| And they come back after all these years and say, hey man, what were you doing? | ||
| Well, I raised pigs and I killed them for food. | ||
| Okay, cool. | ||
| What would you do for sex? | ||
| You just beat off a lot? | ||
| Nah, just fuck my pigs. | ||
| They'd be like, whoa, uncool. | ||
| Yeah, uncool. | ||
| Not cool. | ||
| You did something. | ||
| You should have just kept that to yourself, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| That's really what it is. | ||
| Would it be worse if he made love to the pig? | ||
| I don't think either one is bad. | ||
| I think, honestly, if you're going to kill an animal, fucking it. | ||
| As long as you don't, like... | ||
| Fuck it to death. | ||
| That's kind of a crazy way to kill something. | ||
| And would you go anal with the pig or vagina? | ||
| You'd have to see the setup. | ||
| You'd have to see what you're dealing with. | ||
| Condom, no condom. | ||
| There's a lot of questions. | ||
| Internal organ-wise, pigs are supposed to be very similar to us. | ||
| You definitely don't want to go anal without a little clean-up first. | ||
| You get some pig shit through the tip of your dick, for sure. | ||
| That could be a problem. | ||
| Well, I'm not sure if this is correct, but isn't there a pig's extra... | ||
| Like, his entire excretory system is basically expelling waste. | ||
| Like, the sweat to a certain degree is... | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Oh, that makes sense. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pigs are disgusting. | ||
| They're strange animals, man. | ||
| They're smart as fuck, though. | ||
| That's one thing that's weird about killing pigs. | ||
| They're smart, man. | ||
| They're smarter than dogs. | ||
| They know what's going on. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, you know, the whole animal farm thing, man. | |
| I still have that book, by the way. | ||
| I can make a pig squirt. | ||
| You ever see that documentary, My Brother's Keeper? | ||
| It's a documentary about these dudes who were like, they were like a little slow, and they lived on a farm, and one of them I think was accused of murder, and it was like real weird whether or not they could defend themselves in court, whether they could, you know, they were a little mentally challenged, but they were running this farm, and there's a scene in the farm where he has to kill a pig, and he pulls out the shotgun, and the pig goes, fuck! | ||
| And the pig just scrambles left and right. | ||
| That pig knows exactly what the fuck is going on. | ||
| The pig saw the shotgun. | ||
| And I saw that. | ||
| And that kept me from eating bacon or any pig for like at least... | ||
| Two days. | ||
| It was like a month. | ||
| It was a silent month. | ||
| For a month I was like, oh man, I think I'm not going to need anything that's smart. | ||
| God, I love bacon. | ||
| Delicious. | ||
| Then I found out what cunts pigs are. | ||
| You fall into, if you're like feeding pigs and you fall in there, they'll eat you. | ||
| That's like number one way that farmers die. | ||
| It was like one of those Dr. Baden autopsy things where they did this whole thing on this lady that had a pig farm and just murder husbands and throw their bodies in the pit. | ||
| That was a great show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That guy was the best, that Dr. Baden. | ||
| Yeah, I used to love it. | ||
| The HBO Autography Show. | ||
| Boy, that challenged your view of the world before the internet. | ||
| Before the internet, that was the first freak-out show, where you realize how crazy people are. | ||
| One dude, he took a woman, and she died. | ||
| She was like a very beautiful woman, and she died. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The doll. | |
| Yeah, he made a doll out of her and put a little rubber hole down where her vagina was so he could fuck her, covered with cases and cases of perfume because she was rotting. | ||
| And he would fix parts of her with wax. | ||
| Yeah, and wasn't he like a doctor or some shit? | ||
| Yeah, he was like a doctor, I remember. | ||
| Oh, he was so in love with her that he took her body. | ||
| It was his wife, wasn't it? | ||
| I don't remember. | ||
| It was either his wife or it might have been his ex-wife. | ||
| I don't remember what it was, but he took her. | ||
| It might have been just a patient, but he took her and he was just fucking her. | ||
| Kept her in his room for years. | ||
| Rotting body. | ||
| You need to know that, man. | ||
| We need to know that dude's out there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's important. | ||
| You could have a really distorted view of the world. | ||
| We'll know where all those dudes are when that single consciousness comes around. | ||
| It's coming. | ||
| We'll all be like, ew. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ew. | |
| Don't you think with what you're talking about, with people realizing that one consciousness, realizing that do unto others as you would have them do to you, you lead a healthy, happy life. | ||
| We're all calming down and connecting in this thing. | ||
| It's all building toward this crescendo. | ||
| And if it reaches that one state where all of a sudden, whether it's a technology or whether it's just the human body evolving to a next level, I mean, maybe that's a few generations away. | ||
| I mean, who the fuck knows? | ||
| But that's what I feel like. | ||
| The one thing that's going to stop all the bullshit is when everybody knows the bullshit. | ||
| You think we're going to get to the big brain stage? | ||
| You think we're going to get to that? | ||
| I think we're going to get to a connectivity very similar to the internet, but it's going to be in your own brain. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| I think the connectivity of the internet gives you through social media, I think it's almost like sticking your finger through like, you know, you can't get to the outside, but you can like poke your finger through this like gelatinous sort of shield that separates the two worlds. | ||
| You can't quite break through. | ||
| But it's close. | ||
| The internet is like you're exchanging information, it's free. | ||
| It's a lot similar to the hole cut into the girl right there. | ||
| Similar. | ||
| We're using computers in order, you know, we're sending like ones and zeros to each other and we're connecting, but we're doing all this through this artificial shit. | ||
| I think eventually this artificial shit, this is just a bridge to some sort of technological freedom. | ||
| This is a bridge towards some next step. | ||
| Are you saying something will be implanted within us? | ||
| It could be that. | ||
| I'm not game for that. | ||
| I'm going to this... | ||
| I'm not going that way. | ||
| You don't have to. | ||
| You can just die off like the fucking, you know, like all the other... | ||
| Nothing wrong with that, man. | ||
| There's a romantic thing to that, to go out Johnny Cash style. | ||
| All old, singing Hurt, you know? | ||
| Love it. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| There's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| I mean, we all go to sleep. | ||
| No, I just know the fucking history of corporations and the world and shit, and I'm not letting anybody put that anymore. | ||
| That's the question, though. | ||
| Does that eliminate all the bullshit that corporations do? | ||
| When everyone's accountable for their own actions, is that the thing... | ||
| Well, who's going to manufacture the thing that goes in your brain? | ||
| Well, I mean, maybe it's inevitable progress. | ||
| Maybe it's the inevitable progression of where technology is headed. | ||
| I hope so, Joe. | ||
| You have such a great outlook, man. | ||
| I do, occasionally. | ||
| I'm way too suspicious of people. | ||
| I know the true nature of a lot of motherfucking people. | ||
| That's true, but don't you know great people as well? | ||
| Just the fact that those beautiful people exist. | ||
| I know enough beautiful people, beautiful personalities, friendly, healthy, happy people. | ||
| I know enough of them now to be convinced that it's not like an aberration. | ||
| There's a whole population of like-minded, happy people out there. | ||
| The problem is they're separated from each other. | ||
| That's not necessarily true. | ||
| Even the evil people themselves are surrounded by other evil people. | ||
| That's a big issue with evil people. | ||
| You're growing up around evil people. | ||
| You respond to your environment. | ||
| You imitate your atmosphere. | ||
| You're a cunt. | ||
| And sometimes it's not even your own fault. | ||
| You're just stuck in a shit spot with a douchebag dad and a mother who's a fucking cocaine addict or whatever. | ||
| Fill in the blank with your own troubles and dilemmas. | ||
| But I think that ultimately there's so many cool people and so many nice people and people that want other people to be happy that I just feel like that's the trend. | ||
| I'm going to live in that world then. | ||
| It's the world we should all live in. | ||
| It's not impossible. | ||
| The fact that there's so many of them means it's not impossible. | ||
| At what point do I have to give up my guns? | ||
| You don't have to give up shit. | ||
| I'm not giving up. | ||
| I don't think you should give up guns. | ||
| I think it's ridiculous. | ||
| I don't think you should give up your car either. | ||
| I don't think you should give up your ability to buy lighter fluid. | ||
| I don't think you should give up your ability to buy a fucking helicopter. | ||
| I don't think you should limit your ability to do anything. | ||
| I think freedom is the most important thing. | ||
| And then be responsible for your actions. | ||
| But stop people from doing cunty shit by making them aware of one consciousness. | ||
| Making them aware that we all are experiencing this together. | ||
| And if you fuck with people, if you send out some bad shit, that bad shit comes back to you too. | ||
| It's possible. | ||
| I met so many nice people. | ||
| I totally believe that. | ||
| It just, it needs to be, like when you were talking about Islam and about the messages of Islam, they rang true in your mind and they made sense to you and you felt like it was this conglomeration of wisdom, so to say, right? | ||
| Yeah, a lot of it still does. | ||
| Yeah, and it still, it should. | ||
| I think that we're just missing a new version of that. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| It's not that people... | ||
| I could feel that. | ||
| And I think that with technology at the helm, I think it's possible for that to influence it as well. | ||
| I think the connectivity that we all share and the inevitable ability to exchange information freely, without a computer, without anything, just connect to people freely. | ||
| We could have never pictured this. | ||
| No one in George Washington's time saw a laptop coming. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| And I think that we have no fucking idea what's waiting around the corner in a hundred years. | ||
| I don't think we can. | ||
| But I think if you look at where it's going, it's going towards just a full separation. | ||
| I speculate closer to 20 and 30 years. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| No, I don't think what you're saying is going to happen in there. | ||
| And I'm saying that's my... | ||
| I don't speculate out farther than that because I don't expect to live longer than that. | ||
| You know, there's part of me that thinks it's fascinating that, like, what if society got, like, just close to enlightenment? | ||
| Just close. | ||
| Like, almost there. | ||
| Like, breakthrough technology, walls dissolving every second, and then an asteroid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom! | |
| And we have to start all over again. | ||
| That's exactly. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You brought me right back to the lights going out. | |
| Well, you paint with a dark brush, my brother. | ||
| That's where I come from. | ||
| You paint with a dark brush. | ||
| That's why I love you. | ||
| But I like your world. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, my world is your world. | ||
| We exist in the same space. | ||
| Well, I like the window you're looking through your world out of. | ||
| I need to get me one. | ||
| I think doing this podcast has helped shape that window. | ||
| You know, that window, those ideas I've always sort of had somewhere in the back of my mind and then slowly reinforced by other people that I met that shared or an even more evolved version of that idea. | ||
| But doing this podcast and running into so many nice people, so many cool people. | ||
| So many people that are just genuinely, like, happy. | ||
| And, like, if you were my neighbor, you know, that would be a beautiful thing. | ||
| Like, if you were my neighbor and he was one of my other neighbors, I would want him, like, two houses down. | ||
| So I bet that motherfucker's a screamer. | ||
| But you know what I'm saying? | ||
| Like, to have a real community like that, if you really look at it, like, if everybody was, like, your favorite people, boy, the world would be fucking amazing. | ||
| The world would just be a bunch of people being friendly with each other, exchanging things, doing work, doing whatever the fuck you have to do. | ||
| You pay me for this and I do that for you. | ||
| But if everybody was – there's got to be a way where at least on a mass scale that can be the majority of people. | ||
| I don't see that that's not possible. | ||
| I don't think it's inhibited by finances. | ||
| I don't think it's inhibited by resources. | ||
| I think it's inhibited by people understanding that they can live a different kind of life. | ||
| And I think that's where something like a guy like you talking out about it and a guy like you expressing your ideas. | ||
| Like some kid right now who's a big Everlast fan is in his car and he's, you know, listening to this and he's hearing your take on things and maybe he'll pick up a book on religion. | ||
| Maybe he'll pick up a book on philosophy. | ||
| Maybe he'll, you know, maybe he'll stop one pattern of thinking and introduce himself to a couple other patterns and those in turn will shape the future of his thinking. | ||
| Well, don't be like me. | ||
| That's bullshit! | ||
| But if you weren't you, you wouldn't be making this beautiful, dark music, man. | ||
| There's something I love about that, man. | ||
| What was the song that you played? | ||
| The last time you were here, how many different songs did you play? | ||
| The American Girl? | ||
| Miss America? | ||
| Miss America? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that it? | |
| Little Miss America. | ||
| Little Miss America. | ||
| Goddamn, son. | ||
| I can't think like that. | ||
| I'll start crying. | ||
| I could never write something like that. | ||
| I would just start crying. | ||
| But I love hearing it. | ||
| That's kind of where I take it a lot, is what makes me... | ||
| When I'm writing it, after it's written and I can perform it, I don't get as emotional, but... | ||
| That's what I try to do. | ||
| I try to make myself upset a little bit. | ||
| Feel something. | ||
| Because I'm hard, honestly. | ||
| I'm hard to get to react. | ||
| You're a big teddy bear. | ||
| Probably truth, but it's hard to get past the fur. | ||
| Well, you just dealt with a lot of douchebags. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| And the skin's toughened up, you know, surgeries and life. | ||
| You're about to sing right there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Those skins toughened up and surgeries and life. | |
| You'll go right into it. | ||
| I'm gonna sample it. | ||
| Yeah, you know, but ultimately, you're a nice guy. | ||
| I like to think so. | ||
| You're always a nice guy. | ||
| You're fun. | ||
| You're fun to be around, man. | ||
| I'll let you in if you use your blinker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. | ||
| But you've also dealt with a lot of douchebags. | ||
| Well, we live in Douchebag Central, and we work amongst douchebag fucking, you know, in the douchebaggiest industry there is, you know? | ||
| People would never understand how douchey it can possibly be. | ||
| And especially the music business, I think is probably the douchiest. | ||
| Had all the potential running into dickheads, running into musicians. | ||
| Like, you got a lot of brilliant, beautiful people out there, but goddamn... | ||
| Acting's way worse than musicians and douchebags. | ||
| Yeah, because even a shitty musician is actually... | ||
| Probably somewhat decent as shitty actors is fucking gross. | ||
| Yeah, that's a good point. | ||
| Because most actors are gross to begin with and you have a shitty one on top of that. | ||
| I would say they're pretty close. | ||
| I've met a lot of douchey musicians. | ||
| But yeah, I think ultimately you're probably right. | ||
| I think musicians requires more discipline too. | ||
| You have to actually, especially if you play an instrument, you have to actually learn a discipline. | ||
| Got to practice. | ||
| Yeah, that's a big thing. | ||
| Actors don't have to practice shit. | ||
| Investment in time. | ||
| Acting is easy as fuck, too. | ||
| And they like to pretend it's really difficult. | ||
| It's easy as fuck. | ||
| Well, I think there's a level of it that's hard. | ||
| Daniel Day-Lewis style. | ||
| I think in general, most things done in the acting world are relatively easy. | ||
| It's not like playing guitar and singing at the same time. | ||
| That's tricky as fuck, isn't it? | ||
| Actually, it took a long time for me to be able to do both. | ||
| Yeah, I watch you do it, and I'm perplexed by the dance. | ||
| But the one thing that's bad is, like I said, if that one kink in the road happens, it's a train wreck, man. | ||
| I should have never opened my eyes on that one. | ||
| Well, that's different than a joke. | ||
| You know, a joke you could fuck up in the middle of it and sort of like re-rail it. | ||
| And you even go on a tangent about the fuck up and you're okay. | ||
| Well, like I said, for me, it's all pictures and one kind of cross-circuited. | ||
| And so honestly, what happened was, is my hand started playing one song and I was saying words from another. | ||
| And then it was all, it was like just jumbled garbage. | ||
| You know, I would really be fascinated if someone who was a memory expert could talk to you about how you organize thoughts, like how you memorize things. | ||
| I bet people could learn a lot because you've got not just words. | ||
| You've got words that correspond to melodies, correspond to musical notes, and you have it all arranged. | ||
| And I'm sure you've morphed it, so you've probably had several versions of each song as they've sort of evolved inside your head. | ||
| How many fucking songs do you have in your head right now? | ||
| How many songs could you reliably play? | ||
| A hundred? | ||
| Just me? | ||
| Without an accompaniment? | ||
| Yeah, just you. | ||
| Well, I kind of eliminate all the rap songs because I wouldn't be playing too. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Probably most songs off of most of my records. | ||
| What's the number? | ||
| 60? | ||
| 60 or 70. Think about all that shit. | ||
| 60 times what? | ||
| Five minutes? | ||
| Four? | ||
| Four minutes? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's a lot of fucking shit to memorize, son. | ||
| A lot of shit inside your head just spinning around and you're calling upon. | ||
| And then there's another, you know, three albums of raps and stuff I've never even used yet that's, you know... | ||
| Do you think you could bust those out as well or would you need to get into a rap mindset? | ||
| Like the classics I could bust out. | ||
| Did you take any shit when you moved from rap to, like, this sort of bluesy style of music? | ||
| Nah, because I think some people are growing up with me, and I've never really, I was part of La Coco, and I'm sure that was a little rap collective, you know, and every one of my records has something hip-hop related. | ||
| I still kind of consider myself hip-hop artist, you know, I just evolved into what I'm doing, you know. | ||
| Anybody who's down with La Coca Nostra, just that name, I don't want to get in an argument with any of those dudes. | ||
| I don't want to be in an argument with anybody who's in something called La Coca Nostra. | ||
| That seems like there's a lot of drama that would come with that. | ||
| Just the name. | ||
| Coco Cafe. | ||
| Powerful Coco Cafe. | ||
| I think it came from one day, like, where before I joined the group, there was a couple of the guys who liked it a little bit, you know? | ||
| And they were talking, like, in the studio one day, like, yo, we're getting along great, it's like La Cosa Nostra, and Danny Boy, like, was sober, and he was like, yeah, more like La Coca Nostra, and kind of coined the name right there. | ||
| The Cocaine's a motherfucker, man. | ||
| That Buck Cherry song, that's a badass jam. | ||
| You know that song, I Love the Cocaine? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the best cocaine song next to the Eric Clapton one. | ||
| I've never really had to have the issue come up. | ||
| You steered away from that shit? | ||
| I mean, I did a couple times in my life, but it never became... | ||
| I always knew I had a little heart thing, so I always kind of was like, you know, the meths and the cocaines and even the ecstasy and stuff like that, I stayed heavily away from all that. | ||
| What about caffeines? | ||
| No, I'll drink the shit out of it. | ||
| I'm a Coca-Cola fiend, man. | ||
| I drink too much. | ||
| If I stopped drinking Coca-Cola alone, Joe, I'd probably lose 15 pounds just from that. | ||
| Why don't you stop? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That shit's terrible for you. | |
| I fucking love it, man. | ||
| Really, do you? | ||
| You don't even do Coke Zero? | ||
| You go straight. | ||
| I only drink Coke out of a glass bottle. | ||
| Mexican Coke. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is what I tell people. | ||
| Think about it this way. | ||
| If you want to really change... | ||
| Well, they make American Cokes, the little, sorry, but the little eight ounce are American. | ||
| You can find Mexican ones, but I'll drink the little American ones, too. | ||
| If you want to really change what you drink, and you really want to drink a lot of water, just think about how delicious water would be if it was rare as fuck. | ||
| If water was difficult to come by... | ||
| Water's delicious now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It is delicious. | |
| I love an ice cold bottle of water just pounds. | ||
| There's that fucking monster in your brain that tells you to get that Coca-Cola. | ||
| I've gone on kicks where I have stopped and what I do is I get club soda. | ||
| Because it's the bite. | ||
| That bite, that cold bite back of that carbonated goodness and the sugar rush. | ||
| Is club soda bad for you? | ||
| Is it bad to drink carbonated shit? | ||
| I heard there's something about carbonated water that's not supposed to be good for you. | ||
| I think it's got sodium in it. | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Yeah, there's sodium in it. | ||
| Yeah, there might be a lot of sodium in it. | ||
| Coca-Cola, fuck you up. | ||
| It's that corn syrup, man. | ||
| That corn syrup's a motherfucker. | ||
| Well, that's why the Mexican ones are a little better. | ||
| They're made with real sugar. | ||
| Yeah, real cane sugar. | ||
| How do you get those? | ||
| They sell them all around California. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| They usually get in California. | ||
| So when you get out of California or Arizona, anywhere that touches Mexico, you can pretty much get them. | ||
| In Ohio, before they started selling the small little ones. | ||
| They still sell the tall ones, yeah. | ||
| Yeah, but they stopped selling them in Ohio. | ||
| They stopped selling all bottles for a while. | ||
| And they just recently, maybe like seven years ago, brought back the little baby bottles in Ohio. | ||
| So I used to go to antique stores and buy the old bottles and then fill them up with Coke and put them in my refrigerator because I'm a psycho. | ||
| Why? | ||
| Just because you like drinking out of those bottles? | ||
| Yeah, I'm the same way with him. | ||
| I love fucking coke in a bottle. | ||
| Yeah, but if you drink it, if you pour it in there, then it kills all the fizz, right? | ||
| No, not if you drink it the same day or two. | ||
| Oh. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Just something about it, the way glass chills it, too. | ||
| It's better to me. | ||
| I feel like I can taste metal when I drink out of aluminum cans. | ||
| Well, when cans first came out, you could taste the difference. | ||
| Remember going like, oh, this tastes weird. | ||
| Do you remember that? | ||
| Like when cans first came out? | ||
| I don't. | ||
| But I do remember that people were like really into this Mexican Coke. | ||
| And that Mexican Coke, like people were saying, it's actually, it just tastes better. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, it's king sugar. | |
| It's real Coca-Cola. | ||
| It's the original Coca-Cola because it's actual sugar. | ||
| Before all the corporations bought into the corn syrup thing and that's all we use now in America. | ||
| Do you know that Coca-Cola is the number one, as far as importer, who takes cocaine in this country? | ||
| Coca-Cola. | ||
| They use medical cocaine, and they get medical cocaine from processing the coca leaves that they use to make Coca-Cola. | ||
| They're connected with medical cocaine. | ||
| Wow, I did not know that. | ||
| Yeah, one of the active ingredients in Coca-Cola. | ||
| Did you ever hear about their sanction? | ||
| They were part of all these sanctioned assassinations in South America? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Oh my God. | ||
| Go to documentaryheaven.com. | ||
| Oh no. | ||
| Coca-Cola's evil? | ||
| And I think it's called the Coca-Cola Files or the Coca-Cola Cases. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| And it's about their involvement in some nefarious activities down there in South America. | ||
| Well, if you're going to be in South America. | ||
| I'm surprised I didn't hear about that inside that little documentary. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They don't. | ||
| I mean, they don't sell Coke, but they do sell to... | ||
| They take the process of converting whatever the fuck is in the coca leaves into some sort of a flavonoid, some sort of a plant-based taste. | ||
| And they take that, and it's one of the ingredients of Coke that makes it taste weird. | ||
| And for the longest time, it was actually cocaine. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The original Coca-Cola was cocaine. | ||
| But when the process that they used to make cocaine... | ||
| The actual process today, and this is in 2013 that they used to make Coca-Cola, involves cocaine. | ||
| It doesn't give you a cocaine high, but there's a flavor aspect of it that actually comes from the cocoa plant. | ||
| And then they take that shit and they sell it and they process it and they take the cocaine out of it and make medical cocaine. | ||
| It's crazy because... | ||
| A gang of shit used to have cocaine. | ||
| Vicks NyQuil would have been loaded with cocaine. | ||
| Or codeine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Codeine. | |
| Yeah, that stuff was badass. | ||
| Housewife Remedy. | ||
| All those cure-alls had a little bit of cocaine in them. | ||
| Did you ever have the old school NyQuils with the codeine in it? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I had some the other day. | ||
| Did you really? | ||
| Where can you get it? | ||
| You can still get it. | ||
| You get the NyQuil with codeine? | ||
| Yeah, you just have to get a prescription for it. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Yeah, I know they have prescription cough syrup with codeine, but I didn't know if it was NyQuil anymore. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You used to be able to just... | |
| Go to CVS. And you go to CVS and you get NyQuil and I got sick once and I'll never forget this. | ||
| I'd never taken it before, but I got sick once and I was so happy. | ||
| I was like, my pillow was like massaging me. | ||
| I was like collapsed into this pillow watching TV. I felt, I never felt better. | ||
| I was like, oh my God, I could get it. | ||
| I could be a little junkie on this. | ||
| I had one of those big bottles of that medical grade cough syrup and like I kind of got into a stretch where I was fucking with it. | ||
| And then, like, within a year or so, a couple, like, at least three rappers I knew died. | ||
| It makes you feel like you're coming for hours. | ||
| You forget to breathe in your sleep. | ||
| You just stop. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| That's how, it just slows you down so much, people just, like, would go to sleep and die. | ||
| Yikes. | ||
| That's when I was, like, there was a gang life, and that shit was, like, the bottle I had was, like, a couple grand. | ||
| I wonder if that has anything to do with sleep apnea. | ||
| I bet it has to do with sleep apnea. | ||
| I got it because some guy I knew that was a sneaker freak like me, he worked for sparklets, and he delivered a sparklet to a dentist or a doctor's office. | ||
| And as he was delivering it, he went out the back and he saw they had a fucking case of it, and he grabbed like four of them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| He just gave me one. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| That stuff is powerful as fuck. | ||
| There was one time I spent like five days in my house, like fucked up on that shit, dude. | ||
| Playing SOCOM 2. Yeah, that stuff's legit. | ||
| There's a lot of pain stuff that's addictive as fuck. | ||
| It's amazing today. | ||
| The five days after that, we're fucking hell. | ||
| Oh, I bet. | ||
| What is the withdrawal? | ||
| That shit just headachy, body, you're just feeling awful. | ||
| Sniffling, sneezing. | ||
| Yeah, you're sick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're basically like, you feel like you got the flu for like three days. | |
| Wow. | ||
| So then you get more. | ||
| But does it make you want to, is it one of those things where it makes you want to get more? | ||
| No, I didn't, like, after that five day, I did it a few times after that, lightly within a drink or something, but, like, that five days, I was going, like, straight. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| It's like never stopping being drunk. | ||
| It's like being drunk for days. | ||
| But the visual, like, your brain is getting all that visual, like, from, because I was, like, heavily into that video game for a time. | ||
| We had, like, a whole team of people. | ||
| It was when online shit first, like, really was good. | ||
| Like, you know, it was working well and, like, so. | ||
| We would just get fucked up for days. | ||
| Your brain's getting all this happiness from the visual. | ||
| And like you said, I was in my chair just like, oh, dude, gaming for days. | ||
| I just talked to another dude who had a back injury and got hooked on Oxycontins. | ||
| I've probably talked to maybe 10 people that have told me the exact same story. | ||
| Another dude who had a hard time kicking it. | ||
| And I just wonder, I'm like, how many people out there, there's 300 million people, how many people out there are hooked Oh, yeah. | ||
| On OxyContin. | ||
| There's a commercial right now on TV that's telling people about, you know, if you're hooked on opiates and this, that, and the other. | ||
| They're not advertising to, like, 1% of the people. | ||
| No. | ||
| They're advertising. | ||
| Prime time. | ||
| It's like herpes meds. | ||
| Yo, it's out there, people. | ||
| In droves. | ||
| They're not advertising that shit on TV because it's, like, not around. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It's not like they're malaria pills. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You don't ever hear that on TV. Come buy malaria pills. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Exactly. | |
| Do you need a malaria show? | ||
| Fix your boner pills. | ||
| Herpes meds. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a lot of problems out there. | ||
| There's a lot of people hooked on pills. | ||
| I mean, that's why everything else is illegal. | ||
| These pharmaceutical corporations, they want us hooked on their drugs. | ||
| It's amazing how that's happened. | ||
| I mean, that really is almost like a science fiction movie when you look at how many people are dependent on... | ||
| And then not only that, how many jobs are dependent upon the production of these things. | ||
| When we were young, was medicine something even advertised? | ||
| Besides a cold medicine like a NyQuil or something like that, did you ever see advertisements on TV for like your toenail fungus? | ||
| There's so many commercials that say, ask your doctor about this. | ||
| You never used to go ask your doctor for medicine. | ||
| They told you what fucking medicine you needed. | ||
| Yeah, because if you have a psychosomatic thing, you can go in and say, you know, Doc, I saw this commercial, and that's what I have. | ||
| You get told enough on TV, hey, do your arms hurt? | ||
| Can you move them? | ||
| Fuck, I can't move my arms. | ||
| Does your hair grow? | ||
| Fuck, it stopped growing. | ||
| Maybe you have this. | ||
| I might have it. | ||
| Look at all the symptoms. | ||
| I got it. | ||
| I think I got it. | ||
| Shit. | ||
| And then they run really quickly by may cause vomiting, anal bleeding, and then it's like, what the fuck? | ||
| Who's going to actually take this? | ||
| What's so unfair if you know the history of people, too, it's not like they didn't know that people have been, like, rused by charlatans, all these fucking late night preachers that are trying to get people to donate money. | ||
| They've been doing it for years and years and years. | ||
| They already knew that there was a certain percentage of the population that were, like, super easily manipulated. | ||
| So to make them responsible... | ||
| For, you know, their own judgment and having a commercial that's selling prescription drugs, that's really ridiculous. | ||
| That's ignorant. | ||
| Well, it's not just the guys. | ||
| Now you've got guys coming in asking for stuff. | ||
| And how many doctors are just sleazebags? | ||
| I mean, we've learned how many doctors used to be when we were young. | ||
| That was somebody like a, you were told, policemen, firemen, doctors. | ||
| These are good people. | ||
| We know now that's not true. | ||
| They're people. | ||
| They're just as dirty and rotten as everybody else. | ||
| So how many of them are like, yeah, sure, I'll prescribe you all that shit? | ||
| Oh, it's happening, for sure. | ||
| I mean, I could go out right now, legitimately, right now, by the end of, well, it's probably late today, but by the end of the day tomorrow, I could have probably five prescriptions for painkillers if I really want them. | ||
| Well, today in California, there's a database. | ||
| So you could probably go to different doctors and maybe get different things prescribed, maybe? | ||
| Yeah, not the same one. | ||
| Yeah, but in Florida, they don't have a database. | ||
| I mean, they might have changed it now, but they had that show, the OxyContin Express, that they aired. | ||
| Just Google that online. | ||
| You can watch it. | ||
| I think it was on TruTV. | ||
| But either way, whatever it was on, the OxyContin Express... | ||
| Vanguard, that was the show. | ||
| They went and they showed how you can go to Florida. | ||
| You can go to a doctor, say, oh, my back hurts. | ||
| They give you a prescription. | ||
| Then you go down the street to another doctor. | ||
| He gives you a prescription for the same shit. | ||
| Nobody talks to anybody. | ||
| There's not a database that they can say, hey, Mr. Wilson, I see you've had 10,000 OxyContin prescriptions from different doctors this year. | ||
| So because of that, Florida sells more OxyContin than the whole country. | ||
| Like, literally, I think that the numbers for how much... | ||
| Might be part of your... | ||
| The whole explanation of Florida's craziness. | ||
| Oh, absolutely. | ||
| Let me make sure that that's true, because someone told me that. | ||
| Florida uses more Oxy than the whole country. | ||
| Because there's a doubt in my mind. | ||
| Brian, what do you think? | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's right. | ||
| It doesn't sound wrong. | ||
| It doesn't sound wrong. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, either way, I'll look for it while we're talking, but the reality is that there's a lot of fucking people that take that shit and they're gone. | ||
| It's opiate. | ||
| It's really dangerously addictive. | ||
| And they're just tossing them around. | ||
| I never took it. | ||
| Somebody gave me some once and they actually frightened me. | ||
| I threw them away because I knew so many people that just got caught out there so quickly on them. | ||
| Whoa, you ready for this? | ||
| In Florida alone, almost 3,000 people died of an overdose in 2009, 2010. The majority of these people had legal prescriptions, medications in their systems at the time of death. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| That's nutty shit, man. | ||
| They're just dropping like flies. | ||
| 3,000 people, man. | ||
| That's 9-11. | ||
| That's 9-11, and it's happening all the time. | ||
| It's 9-11 and it keeps going. | ||
| People just dropping. | ||
| This show was really scary because one of the guys on the show, his wife, had died of an overdose, and he got high before he called the cops. | ||
| His wife was lying next to him cold and blue, and this motherfucker got high before he called the ambulance. | ||
| That's how crazy it is. | ||
| Yeah, that shit honestly scared me. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| I had a period where I was heavy into taking Vicodin and drinking a few whiskeys. | ||
| Why'd you like to do that? | ||
| What does that feel like? | ||
| It made me feel really fucking good. | ||
| I would take half a Vicodin, my rule was a half a Vicodin, and then I'd have a few whiskeys and it'd be almost the same feeling as that cropped syrup. | ||
| You ever do that, Brian? | ||
| Vicodins and whiskey? | ||
| Yeah, I've done Vicodin's alcohol. | ||
| What is it like? | ||
| It's really slow and, yeah, it's like, it's kind of like, yeah, it's like comfortable. | ||
| Yeah, it's like tripping on the, robo-tripping. | ||
| I had a buddy who was a guitar player who said that Vicodin's made him, like, super creative. | ||
| Love Vicodin's. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| No? | ||
| Maybe? | ||
| No? | ||
| You don't think so? | ||
| That's never happened to me. | ||
| Vicodin makes me stupid. | ||
| I find it you're pretty lazy on them. | ||
| I was pretty lazy on them. | ||
| Wow, that's interesting. | ||
| I mean, just wanted to, like, yeah, I'm good. | ||
| Maybe have some, you know, call up a broad or something. | ||
| A broad. | ||
| Everlast is from the 50s. | ||
| Call up a broad. | ||
| You got a scally cap on, calling up a broad? | ||
| I'm calling up a flapper. | ||
| Why, listen, see? | ||
| You ever watch those old movies where dudes are backhand bitches? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you're like, whoa, how often was that going on where you could put it in a movie? | ||
| A lot. | ||
| To the moon, Alice. | ||
| Yeah, well, he never actually hit her. | ||
| He's threatening her. | ||
| It was the theme of the show. | ||
| He was, right, when you think about it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pow! | |
| To the moon, Alice. | ||
| Pow, right in the kisser. | ||
| Yeah, he was going to punch her. | ||
| To the moon. | ||
| And he was a big guy, too, man. | ||
| I'm going to punch you in the face. | ||
| And Jackie Gleason seemed like the type of dude would punch a chick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| You ever see that Sean Connery interview where he talked about sometimes women need to slap because they keep pushing. | ||
| Sometimes you have to slap them. | ||
| Everybody was like, whoa, goddamn Sean Connery. | ||
| But the way he was saying it is like, listen. | ||
| You've never had a broad pushing that button on you. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No, I don't think he meant everything. | ||
| You're asking me? | ||
| Yeah, I'm asking you. | ||
| My dad beat my mom, and I had a very, very vivid image of that. | ||
| My father was an alcoholic. | ||
| I'm very scared of that, of getting into any sort of domestic situation. | ||
| So no, I've never had. | ||
| I'm not saying, have you ever hit one? | ||
| I'm just saying, but you never had a broad come at you? | ||
| Oh yeah, I've had a couple. | ||
| Where you knew she was pushing to a point where she wanted you to slap the shit out of her or do something physical to her? | ||
| No. | ||
| I had to duck. | ||
| Man, I just like... | ||
| I've never got to... | ||
| I must have liked a lot of crazy broads then. | ||
| No, I've liked a lot of crazy broads too, but I have a little bit... | ||
| I have a little bit of a higher threshold before I press the panic button. | ||
| I'd like to subscribe to the Chris Rock theory, which was I won't hit a bitch, but I'll shake the shit out of my... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, my whole life, when I was a young man, was all dedicated to martial arts, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was get in a violent altercation with a girl. | ||
| But I had chicks swing at me. | ||
| I've had a couple girls I dated, like, make a move. | ||
| I'm just saying, they know there's broads who want that to happen. | ||
| But I've never gotten even close. | ||
| I'm not willing to enter. | ||
| That's the sign to get the fuck away and leave. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And what if you like it? | ||
| What if some shit comes after you and you fucking crack her and all of a sudden you're like, all right, well, I started hitting you. | ||
| Here we go. | ||
| We're actually fighting now. | ||
| And then you're plumbing her and kneeing her in the face and pounding her into the ground. | ||
| I mean, what the fuck are you doing? | ||
| Are you going to fight? | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| Are you going to halfway fight? | ||
| Are you going to shake her? | ||
| Are you going to slap her? | ||
| How hard do you slap her? | ||
| Can you punch her if she punches you? | ||
| What if she grabs your dick and she won't let go? | ||
| You gonna punch her then? | ||
| Like, what happens then? | ||
| And then if she gets up, she grabs a knife. | ||
| See, now you're asking questions, and if you're gonna ask me an opinion, I'm really gonna subscribe to it. | ||
| Like, I'll tell you the same way I heard a pimp say it in American Pimp. | ||
| There's a time and a place to hit anyone. | ||
| Yes, in defending yourself. | ||
| In defending your life. | ||
| So if you're saying, if she grabbed your dick and won't let go, you're getting punched dead in your grave. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For sure. | |
| For sure. | ||
| If you're psychologically trying to torture me or something, I'm going to do everything I can to get the fuck away from you. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's when I don't have a desire to hit anybody when they're psychologically tortured. | ||
| But I come from the same thing. | ||
| My father, you know, he was like a binge alcoholic. | ||
| Like, he'd be fine for nine months and then bump in the road and he'd be gone for three, four weeks drinking. | ||
| Come home and by the time I hit 16, 17, you know. | ||
| Did that steer you away in any way from alcohol or make you wary of it? | ||
| Well, yeah, very wary of it. | ||
| I mean, it never steered me away. | ||
| I was always fucking drinking, you know. | ||
| But I just never drank by myself. | ||
| It was always early on in my life. | ||
| I was very aware of that kind of stuff. | ||
| Like, don't be caught drinking at home. | ||
| Don't drink because you're sad or in a bad mood. | ||
| That's not my thing. | ||
| That's never the good move. | ||
| Like, drinking for me is something I do like, oh, we're going to go out and have some fun. | ||
| Let's have a few drinks. | ||
| That's cool that you were able to overcome that even though your dad had an issue. | ||
| Because sometimes that thing is either psychological, but sometimes it's genetic. | ||
| Yeah, but by the time I had 15, 16, my routine was when I knew those things. | ||
| Because like I said, it wasn't an every night thing. | ||
| He'd be fine for a long time. | ||
| But when you knew he was on a bench, I would stay up every night until either he didn't come home or he came home. | ||
| Sit him down, give him some food just to keep him from fighting. | ||
| And then one time he started trying to fight with my mom, but I think I was about 16, 17, and that's when I stepped in. | ||
| Yeah, it's a fucked up situation. | ||
| We had a fight and, you know, I woke up on the couch later. | ||
| My dad was a big construction working man, so, you know, he wasn't easy to fight. | ||
| But that was the last time it happened, though, too. | ||
| When me and him squared off, it was the last time it ever happened, too. | ||
| He never did it again. | ||
| And then they finally split up a little while later. | ||
| Yeah, that's not good, man. | ||
| Being around crazy big drunks that can beat the fuck out of you is never bueno. | ||
| You know what, before he passed though, I think he got it together. | ||
| He became, you know, his life lessons were learned. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Well, the alcohol one is such a fucked up one because it seems some sort of a chemical thing goes off in some folks. | ||
| And he died at 63. I know it shortened his life. | ||
| Of course, yeah. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| It's poison. | ||
| I mean, it feels good because it's poison. | ||
| You're poisoning your shit. | ||
| But, goddammit, it's fun sometimes. | ||
| Yeah, the whiskey's good, man. | ||
| It's fun! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like that stuff. | |
| I like that stuff. | ||
| And the relief. | ||
| The relief from the burdens of thinking about all the subtle nuances of the world. | ||
| You know, when you're just like, who gives a fuck? | ||
| Let's do another shot. | ||
| And you clink glasses and you know that everybody's all in on it with you. | ||
| Yeah, that's good stuff. | ||
| It's good stuff. | ||
| When it goes the other way from there. | ||
| If that's not how you're doing it, you shouldn't be doing it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| But again, it boils down to who you're doing it with. | ||
| Unless you're an alcoholic. | ||
| Then it boils down to, sorry, you got a shitty gene. | ||
| You got some American Indian in you or some Irish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| I'm sure there's some genetic level of connection to it, but it's choice, man. | ||
| There's a big choice there. | ||
| You can choose not to... | ||
| If I really suspect it, I was like... | ||
| Fucked up like my father was. | ||
| I would have just chose to never drink. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Because I was so hyper-conscious. | ||
| Because I was able to see also the pattern. | ||
| My father was a good father compared to his father. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| My father made improvements. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So I said, okay, so it's my turn to make that improvement. | ||
| That's exactly the same with my father. | ||
| My father's father was even more of a savage. | ||
| He came over from Ireland during the Depression. | ||
| And my mom told me that when she was young, my dad's dad tried to fuck her. | ||
| She was like, when she'd already had me, she'd be over the house and my father would step out. | ||
| I'm going to go down to this corner and my dad's father would be like, what's up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What's up? | |
| You want some of this? | ||
| And she'd be like, what the fuck kind of crazy family is this? | ||
| Just drunk savages from the depression. | ||
| Those were people that were worried about starving to death. | ||
| Those are people that would take a piece of pussy in a heartbeat. | ||
| They were rapists and savages. | ||
| They were animals. | ||
| They took a fucking boat ride across the world to wind up in some place where they never even saw a picture of it. | ||
| They had no idea what it was going to be like. | ||
| Landed on a boat, got out and Made their way. | ||
| Yeah, were hated. | ||
| Hated immediately. | ||
| Made their way. | ||
| They were so much closer to animals. | ||
| Hence the backfist woman. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Schmack! | |
| You know, that's from the 1950s. | ||
| That shit was acceptable. | ||
| People were crazy back then. | ||
| They were fucking animals. | ||
| They're crazy now. | ||
| But they're better, right? | ||
| Hopefully, according to Joe Rogan's window. | ||
| If there's any sign, if there's any proof that culture is evolving, it's the proof in our record of culture, our songs, our movies, our stand-up comedy. | ||
| You want to see the evolution of culture? | ||
| In stand-up comedy, it's a good microcosm. | ||
| It's a good way to look at the evolution of culture. | ||
| Go back and try to watch some old comedy from the 1950s and 60s. | ||
| It's so dated. | ||
| Even if you can put yourself into that mindset and see the brilliance of it, it's so dated. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, watch some Lenny Bruce. | ||
| Try to laugh. | ||
| As edgy as he was back then, yeah. | ||
| He was the greatest. | ||
| He opened up all the doors, but you can't watch that shit today. | ||
| It's weird. | ||
| Carlin still. | ||
| Some of it. | ||
| Some of it's still dated, though, if you go to the really old stuff. | ||
| Pryor's the first guy, to me, that's universal. | ||
| Like, he stands the test of time. | ||
| He's evergreen. | ||
| His shit was so, like, raw. | ||
| Like, when he would talk about his life and the way he would describe things, it was so raw that I think to this day still resonates. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I remember the first time watching Live on the Sunset Strip. | ||
| Fuck yeah! | ||
| Wasn't supposed to be watching it. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Yeah, it was in the movie theater. | ||
| The guy was just talking and everybody was dying laughing. | ||
| That was a game changer for a lot of people. | ||
| That was the first time a lot of people got to see comedy like that. | ||
| It created a whole generation of comics, man. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| That little era. | ||
| He was the first really honest guy. | ||
| Well, him and Lenny Bruce. | ||
| Lenny Bruce was the first really honest guy too, but... | ||
| When it came to his personal life, Pryor took it to a completely different level than anybody had before. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love that movie too, JoJo Dancer. | |
| We've got to wrap this up with one or two more. | ||
| Which ones do you want to play? | ||
| It's up to you. | ||
| I told you I'd play one. | ||
| Yeah, I've got to hear that one. | ||
| And then maybe one more that you want to do? | ||
| Is that cool? | ||
| Figure it out. | ||
| Okay, beautiful. | ||
| And if any of you little punks on Twitter are complaining that he's playing music, I need you to go fuck yourself right now. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| Listening? | ||
| Get your mind straight, bitches. | ||
| Respect. | ||
| OG Everlast. | ||
| Follow him on Twitter. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, God. God. | |
| Hey, now. | ||
| All you sinners. | ||
| Put your lights on. Put your lights on. | ||
| Hey, now. | ||
| All you lovers. Put your lights on. Put your lights on. | ||
| Hey, now. | ||
| I'll see you next time. | ||
| you killers, put your lights on. | ||
| Put your lights on, here now. | ||
| All you children, leave your lights on. | ||
| Leave your lights on, cause there's a monster living under my bed. | ||
| Whispering in my ear There's an angel With a hand on my ear You say I got nothing to fear There's a darkness That's living deep in my soul Still got a bridge to serve So | ||
|
unidentified
|
So let your light shine deep into my hole. | |
| God, don't let me lose my nerve. | ||
| Don't let me lose my nerve. | ||
| Don't let me lose my nerve. | ||
| Don't let me lose my nerve. | ||
| head down Are you a sinner? | ||
| Put your lights on Put your lights on Head down Are you children? | ||
| Leave your lights on Leave your lights on There's a monster Whispering in my ear There's an angel With a hand on my head She said, I got a little fear. | ||
| She said. | ||
| Apostle him, too You ain't gonna' sometime I, uh, yeah | ||
| You ain't gonna' shine like a star La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la la | ||
| We'll shine like stars Bye. | ||
| And we'll fade away. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| Indeed. | ||
| Powerful Everlast, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm getting my mojo back a little bit. | |
| Letting bitches know. | ||
| From that last one. | ||
| It's still bothering. | ||
| We gotta let it go, my friend. | ||
| We gotta move forward. | ||
| I'm there. | ||
| I'm there as well. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Black coffee? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Can we do that yet, though? | ||
| Did I do that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| You know what? | ||
| We'll wrap it up with this. | ||
| We'll take it home with this. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in. | ||
| God bless you all in your own special, beautiful, perfect way. | ||
| We're going to do this one. | ||
| Go fuck yourselves. | ||
| Why, people are mad? | ||
| Be cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| Fuck all of them. | ||
| Should we tell them to go fuck themselves? | ||
| That's not a bad thing. | ||
| I don't even pay attention to that stuff. | ||
| No one's mad, man. | ||
| Everyone's enjoying this. | ||
| This is the old one. | ||
| There we go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yesterday, just a dream I don't remember. | |
| Tomorrow's still a hope I've yet to indulge. | ||
| I'm out of time, out of rhyme, and I'm out of reason. | ||
| Oh, my God. | ||
| Seasons change, leave me out in the cold. | ||
| The store is old, a tale been told by many scholars. | ||
| Got a fistful of dollars, and a pocket full of love. | ||
| Got above, if you hear me crying. | ||
| Try to sell my soul, but no one's buying. | ||
| Lord, stand me down now if I'm lying. | ||
| Getting cold, it's time for dying. | ||
| Come on, watch me shine. | ||
| There's a lot of word in my Lord today. | ||
| Come on, watch me shine. | ||
| There's a lot of word in my Lord today. | ||
| Watch me shine. | ||
| Letting man's free from sin. | ||
| Cast the first stone and begin the violence. | ||
| Letting man's words ring true. | ||
| Speak on up till his voice break through the silence. | ||
| Music. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Let the ones who lose their way Live to see just one more day in the sunshine My life, my life, my life, my life Let the ones who choose straight Recognize the price still paid in their lifetime Come on, watch me shine Cause like the world is my love | ||
| Lord, yeah This day Come on, watch me shine Fill out the world in my load today. | ||
| Watch me shine. | ||
| Watch me shine. | ||
|
unidentified
|
you deserve me for what you need Fill my hope with precious dirt Till the soil plucks the weeds Pluck the weeds, | |
| girl, and watch me shine Like the world, my Lord, today Come on, watch me shine Come on, | ||
| watch me shine Come on, watch me shine Come on, watch me shine Boom! | ||
| That was beautiful. | ||
| That was fucking beautiful. | ||
| God damn it. | ||
| Thank you, sir. | ||
| That's spectacular shit. | ||
| It's over now. | ||
| Now you've erased it. | ||
| You can completely exorcise all the demons. | ||
| All of them are gone. | ||
| Hey, it's a fuck up, dude. | ||
| It used to happen. | ||
| There's a couple times like a strap would break on stage and guitar fall. | ||
| And it's like, you know what? | ||
| People, it's real. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It is real. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Now you can accept that. | ||
| At least it wasn't like the first time on the first one that I did. | ||
| At least I'm three times deep. | ||
| People know I got what I got. | ||
| And I fucked one up because Joe answered his phone. | ||
| People love the fuck out of you. | ||
| It's my fault. | ||
| It's 100%. | ||
| I want to see if you're catching me flack on Twitter. | ||
| I already have, I'm sure. | ||
| I apologize to you. | ||
| I apologize to all the beautiful people on Twitter. | ||
| I apologize to Stamps.com for what I did. | ||
| Go to Stamps.com. | ||
| Use the code word JRE and get a beautiful special offer. | ||
| I think they come to your house and rub your balls. | ||
| Do they rub your balls? | ||
| We should start a Tumblr. | ||
| No, I don't think that's not the case anymore. | ||
| We should start a Tumblr called TrampStamps.com. | ||
| Do you like TrampStamps? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| It just sounded like a funny website of... | ||
| Tramp stamp pictures. | ||
| Have you ever seen the one that's like chicks with Steve Buscemi eyes? | ||
| That's just fucking rude. | ||
| No, it's fucking disturbing, dude. | ||
| I don't want to see it. | ||
| It's more disturbing than Game of Thrones last night. | ||
| Oh, don't talk. | ||
| Stop. | ||
| Don't say a word. | ||
| Oh, you ain't seen it? | ||
| I haven't seen it yet. | ||
| Are you into it? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I'm too behind. | ||
| I've got to catch up tonight. | ||
| I want to say a word. | ||
| Don't please. | ||
| Don't look at Twitter either because they're going to try and fuck you right now. | ||
| I know. | ||
| I'm already avoiding it. | ||
| Hey, we love to fuck out of you guys. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| Greatest show right now, though. | ||
| Thanks to Onnit.com. | ||
| Greatest show. | ||
| O-N-N-I-T, use the code name Rogan, save some cash. | ||
| OGEverlast on Twitter, follow, respect, enjoy. | ||
| Raven DeBanger. | ||
| Hey, show my keyboard player, Brian Velasco, how you could blow up a Twitter. | ||
| Joe Rogan, people. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Raven, R-A-V-E-N, D-A. Like da, da. | |
| Raven da banger. | ||
| Da banger? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or Black Beauty. | |
| Black Beauty? | ||
| That's it? | ||
| You're Black Beauty? | ||
| Oh, is that your Twitter? | ||
| You got a Twitter? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Black Beauty at Raven da banger. | |
| I don't know how that Twitter is. | ||
| Your Twitter is Black Beauty? | ||
| Yeah, some rapper was stoned. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He came over to my house. | |
| He said my hair was long and black. | ||
| So he's like, you're like Black Beauty, bro. | ||
| Is that guy trying to fuck you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I certainly hope not. | |
| Did he give you that dolphin stuffed animal? | ||
| Boom, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Good night. | ||
| We'll see you tomorrow. | ||
| Tom Rhodes in the house. | ||
| We're going to have to hear that story in the next podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. |
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