Nov. 10, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:30:33
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| the Joe Rogan experience podcast is brought to you by the fleshlight If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| A sex toy that Duncan Trussell, my guest, has put his penis into. | ||
| Yeah, but... | ||
| You did it, dude. | ||
| Only 15 times. | ||
| Only 15 times? | ||
| Didn't you get tossed out and not by you? | ||
| Oh yeah, that's happened. | ||
| I've got a lot of weird fleshlight stories I never expected to have in this life. | ||
| Women resent having that around, don't they? | ||
| A lot of them. | ||
| Not all of them, but there's a few women who look at that as almost like a minor league woman. | ||
| Well, yeah, they definitely get tossed out. | ||
| I mean, also, the problem... | ||
| It's just gross to them. | ||
| I think it's also a little embarrassing because you don't want someone to open up your asshole in a can when they come over. | ||
| Like, hey, what's this? | ||
| What's this a can? | ||
| Oh, there's an asshole. | ||
| Is this a large Foster's? | ||
|
unidentified
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It's this. | |
| It just opens it up and it stinks a lube and old fucking jizz. | ||
| Pubes are on it and shit. | ||
| There's this pubes and tears. | ||
| For a woman, it must be so embarrassing. | ||
| If you came into your husband's office and there's fleshlights everywhere. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Well, you gotta hide them. | ||
| Yeah, you gotta hide them. | ||
| You can't leave them out in the open. | ||
| Everyone knows that's not a foster's can. | ||
| But they work so good. | ||
| It's so much better than beating off. | ||
| It's a weird thing to get behind. | ||
| If everybody beats off, why is it so embarrassing to have technology that aids your beating off? | ||
| Why is that embarrassing? | ||
| Can I tell you my theory about why it's better than beating off? | ||
| Because I think that uh over the course of evolution i think if at first beating off tricked your body into thinking you'd fucked like if you beat off your body got the same satisfied feeling you get when you fucked right and then body started figuring out oh wait a minute this tricked me we're not really reproducing and so then it makes it so when you jerk off it feels great but it doesn't feel as good as it's not the same you don't get that same feeling of like yeah i just had sex Well, | ||
| you also, you know, I do a whole bit about it, how you can feel your hand. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a problem. | ||
| You can't, it's really hard to trick yourself. | ||
| But the fleshlight, I think it tricks your body. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| The animal part of your body and your body thinks you fucked because you... | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| You shoot giant loads. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't shoot the kind of, you don't shoot the beat-off loads. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's right. | |
| Beat-off loads are not as satisfying. | ||
| You know, you get a beat-off load and you're like, that's it? | ||
| That's all I have in me? | ||
| That's it? | ||
| That's all I was able to muster up? | ||
| Well, it's funny when you're coming inside a fleshlight, and guys, I'm sorry to get dirty, but when you're coming inside a fleshlight and you're pushing forward into the fleshlight and spraying jizz into it, your body thinks it's getting something pregnant. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Your body really thinks it's... | ||
| It does, yeah. | ||
| It's kind of sad. | ||
| And it really thinks it's getting a good specimen because it's tight and juicy. | ||
| Like, oh, this is good jeans here. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a good vagina. | ||
| Not the last one you gave me. | ||
| I mean, I don't want to see... | ||
| I gave you a bad one? | ||
| Well, I mean, with all due respect, it looks like Frankenstein. | ||
| There's a Halloween-themed one, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| It's a vagina that's got stitches. | ||
| Did you fuck it or no? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Anyway, you go to Joe Rogan.net and click. | ||
| That's the longest Fleshlight commercial ever. | ||
| Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link and enter in the code name Rogan and you get 15% off. | ||
| And yeah, it's silly. | ||
| Yeah, it's a silly thing. | ||
| But if you like beating off, this is better. | ||
| And everybody likes beating off. | ||
| So go buy one. | ||
| Stop playing. | ||
| We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. | ||
| The makers of AlphaBrain, which is a point of hot contention on the internet. | ||
| There's a lot of people who don't like the idea behind it. | ||
| A lot of people say there's not enough science behind it. | ||
| I see a lot of your points. | ||
| I really do. | ||
| However, people have been taking these plant compounds, they've been taking these You know, these different extracts from plants for a long time. | ||
| I mean, there's like a recorded use of like velvet bean for thousands of years people have been using it. | ||
| I don't know if it can have adverse effect on anything because I'm not a fucking scientist. | ||
| But I've looked at it and it's worth it to me to take a chance. | ||
| I've looked at the data and I know how to use some of the things like choline on Alzheimer's patients and Man, when I take it, I feel good. | ||
| It gives me a nice little bump or something. | ||
| And, you know, a lot of people say it doesn't do shit for them. | ||
| And other people have even said that it makes them sick. | ||
| Like, it makes them feel nauseous. | ||
| So I guess, you know, the human body, look, everybody's not the same. | ||
| Some people can't drink coffee. | ||
| I fucking love coffee, you know? | ||
| Some people can't have milk. | ||
| They're lactose intolerant. | ||
| I mean, I don't know what, you know, if something has an effect on you, Like this alpha brain stuff does. | ||
| It's got to not jive with everybody. | ||
| That's the way it is. | ||
| There's no other way around it, in my opinion, probably. | ||
| I don't know what each person's individual sensitivities are, but I do know that for a lot of people, it does a lot of good. | ||
| You know what's weird, man? | ||
| It's like what you're just saying. | ||
| Like, you know, it probably interfaces with people's bodies differently and some of them might feel some nausea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pharmaceutical companies, when they release products, they know, oh yeah, there's going to be like 600 people who get seriously fucked up from this shit. | ||
| Because that's why they have to run that stuff in the commercials. | ||
| In the pharmaceutical commercials, you know. | ||
| Oh, when they say may cause blindness. | ||
| Can lead to death. | ||
| Curious, homicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts. | ||
| Can you imagine releasing something like that into the world and knowing, oh yeah, this is going to kill some people. | ||
| So some people, yeah, that's an interesting point because it's like everything is, no one is exactly like someone else as far as how their body processes things. | ||
| We all know people who literally can't drink alcohol for whatever reason. | ||
| Their body just doesn't process it right and they go fucking off the wires, right? | ||
| And then we know you or I who can have a couple beers. | ||
| I've seen you drunk. | ||
| You're just dunking drunk. | ||
| You know, you're you when you're drunk. | ||
|
unidentified
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Drunk and trust me. | |
| Drunk and trust me. | ||
| Well, how about the thing he did? | ||
| Trust me! | ||
| We've talked about this before, but just if you haven't seen it, you've got to go online and watch Drunk History. | ||
| Duncan does this Drunk History with Nikola Tesla, and it's fucking brilliant. | ||
| Hammered where he's thrown up in a toilet and he's talking about the history of one of my personal heroes. | ||
| I don't want to say heroes, but one of the people that's been a fixture of my life. | ||
| One of my people, the men that live that I'm most fascinated by is that Nikola Tesla. | ||
| So it's a fucking awesome thing. | ||
| We've talked about it before, but go see it if you haven't seen it. | ||
| Go look it up on YouTube. | ||
| It's fucking awesome. | ||
| You know? | ||
| But yeah, everybody's body's fucking different, man. | ||
| Some people can't smoke weed. | ||
| Some people love it. | ||
| David Tell doesn't like it. | ||
| Doug Stanhope doesn't like it. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, and there's brilliant people. | ||
| I love and respect them. | ||
| Everybody's body's different, man. | ||
| Some people can't eat fucking walnuts. | ||
| I have a friend who can't eat walnuts. | ||
| Doesn't Brian Callan have a Brazil nut fucking thing? | ||
|
unidentified
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Something like that. | |
| Yeah, he's got Brazil nuts. | ||
| That's just scary because you know how sloppy kitchens are. | ||
| You get one little nut in your salad by mistake. | ||
| I mean, they put condoms in there. | ||
| Yeah, I think Brian Callan is allergic to Brazil nuts. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it said it. | ||
| I think it was him. | ||
| I don't want to have to ask. | ||
| But, you know, it's just some wacky shit, man. | ||
| Everybody's body's not the same. | ||
| But all this stuff in the alpha brain... | ||
| I think is relatively innocuous. | ||
| And I think if you don't like the effects of it, you can get off of it. | ||
| It's real simple. | ||
| It might not work for you. | ||
| And I always say this, and people say, you don't really mean this. | ||
| I fucking do mean this, what I'm about to say. | ||
| If you worry at all about how much it costs, don't buy it. | ||
| Just go look into nootropics. | ||
| Try a bunch of the other shit. | ||
| What's that called? | ||
| Stuff called Paracetum. | ||
| That's a really interesting one. | ||
|
unidentified
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Never heard of it. | |
| There's a focus factor that they have their own compound that they put together and there's a bunch of other ones, man. | ||
| There's some interesting stuff. | ||
| It's interesting. | ||
| If I had nothing to do with this financially, I would still tell you to try it out because it's fascinating. | ||
| And I've always endorsed nootropics. | ||
| I think there's some science behind it. | ||
| I think there's not enough to firmly state exactly what each one does unequivocally. | ||
| This is how you can measure it. | ||
| This is the exact dose. | ||
| I don't think it's that clean yet. | ||
| There's just a lot of anecdotal evidence that this stuff does something to enhance the way your brain works. | ||
| Not crazy. | ||
| It's not limitless. | ||
| It's not a fucking magic pill. | ||
| It doesn't make retards intelligent. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's just a little better. | |
| And I'm trying to not say retards anymore. | ||
| Oh, yeah? | ||
| You're cutting that word out of your vocabulary? | ||
| Just to shut people up, man. | ||
| It's a great word, but, you know, automatically it becomes babies with Down syndrome. | ||
| Right. | ||
| It becomes the worst possible definition for it. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| You don't mean it like that, though. | ||
| It's clear. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| Anyway, if you go to, what is the music playing? | ||
| Go to Onnit.com and enter in the code name Rogan. | ||
| Try AlphaBrain. | ||
| And what I was saying is if you don't... | ||
| This is what I was saying that seems like I don't really mean, but I really do mean. | ||
| If you think it costs too much, go buy the quantities of the ingredients, whatever the fuck is in AlphaBrain. | ||
| We show it online. | ||
| Just copy it. | ||
| Copy it. | ||
| Go buy the shit and try it out yourself. | ||
| Or try one or two of them out yourself. | ||
| Some of them you're not going to like and some of them you might like. | ||
| I think it's a very interesting sort of pursuit. | ||
| The pursuit of enhancing mental function through nutrients. | ||
| But I'm a big believer in vitamins and minerals, and I think it's enhanced my body, and I'm very much in tune with my body because I eat well and I exercise, and I think it's very important that you do that. | ||
| You've got to take care of the fucking machine that carries you around. | ||
| So for me, I'm pretty tuned in to what my body feels like on a regular basis. | ||
| And because of that, I can get a good feel of when something's helping me for real or something's a placebo effect. | ||
| It's a real fine line. | ||
| Because quite honestly, man, placebo is a powerful, powerful effect. | ||
| And we don't really understand. | ||
| I wouldn't mind, really, placebos all day if they just rock my world. | ||
| You know, I mean, when you think about what the human body is really capable of, and I'm not endorsing lying to people, but I'm saying, I mean, think about what the effect of placebo is. | ||
| For a lot of people, it's really fucking dramatic, man. | ||
| They act as if they've gotten medicine. | ||
| You know, cancer has been, it's never been cured, but tumors have shrunk. | ||
| You know, is that true? | ||
| Look that up. | ||
| No, yeah, that is true. | ||
| Are you sure? | ||
| I've heard that, yeah. | ||
| I'm not 100% sure. | ||
| I'm not 100% sure. | ||
| But I definitely have heard that. | ||
| That's a good thing to look at. | ||
| Well, I know that there have been some substantial medical improvements because of the placebo effect, and it's a fascinating effect. | ||
| I wish someone could just placebo me all day. | ||
| I wish she could just convince me that I could go to some lady and she wipes me with a chicken's foot and your liver heals up. | ||
| I wish it was possible to just trigger placebos left and right. | ||
| Well, somebody emailed me something else you could maybe check out, Brian, is that they think that there's natural cannabinoids in the brain and they think it's somehow associated with that. | ||
| The brain just releases these cannabinoids and it gives you a... | ||
| I'm just seeing assholes with tumors on them. | ||
| I'll take the word butthole out of the Google search. | ||
| He adds butthole to every Google search he does. | ||
| This is a grown man. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for it. | ||
| Oh, and the other thing is, AlphaBrain, if you don't like it, it's a 100% money-back guarantee, even if you've eaten it. | ||
| If you take, especially buy 30 pills, the small ones, just take it, and if you don't like it, you get your money back, even if you eat it. | ||
| And that's the best thing because, I mean, honestly, you can't get mad at that. | ||
| You can't get mad. | ||
| That's all we can do. | ||
| All we can do is be as honest as possible, tell you, get the 30 count, get the small amount. | ||
| If you don't like it, send it back. | ||
| We give you all your money back. | ||
| 100% you could have eaten every single pill. | ||
| My grandmother died, and I put alpha brain into her mouth, and she came back to life. | ||
|
unidentified
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I heard that. | |
| I heard that. | ||
| Yeah, it will bring your grandmother back to life. | ||
| But they can't be dead for that long. | ||
| Like, how long? | ||
| What do you mean? | ||
| How long was she dead for? | ||
| It wasn't like a week. | ||
| No, it was like a couple of days. | ||
| Then we were just bored. | ||
| Her corpse had been laying there for a while and we were like, fuck it, put Alpha Brain in her mouth. | ||
| Anyway, to end this, please don't buy Alpha Brain. | ||
| If you have any questions... | ||
| Don't buy it. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Don't. | ||
| Don't. | ||
| Don't buy it. | ||
| I don't want you to buy it. | ||
| If you're thinking, should I buy this shit? | ||
| Please don't buy it. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| But look into Nootropics. | ||
| Just look it up online. | ||
| It's a fascinating thing. | ||
| And if you want to buy Alpha Brain, go to Onnit.com. | ||
| Work for me. | ||
| It gave me weird dreams. | ||
| The code name Rogan, and you get 10% off that shit, bitch. | ||
| Duncan Trussell's here. | ||
| Let the music begin. | ||
| We're in the new Death Squad Studio. | ||
|
unidentified
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Experience. | |
| Train by day. | ||
| Joe Rogan podcast by night. | ||
|
unidentified
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All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. All day. | |
| I had a pink somebody on my board yesterday for complaining that I do the commercials before You know, who's bitching about it? | ||
| You stupid fuck. | ||
| Go to the special ed room, dummy. | ||
| It's ridiculous. | ||
| I give you a free podcast, man. | ||
| I have to do something to monetize this bitch. | ||
| Bandwidth costs money. | ||
| It's really fucking annoying when people give you those types of complaints. | ||
| You can't complain about something. | ||
| I give you something for two and a half hours for free and I'm just talking about a product for two minutes. | ||
| You're getting commercial, man! | ||
| Here's a comment I just got on a YouTube video. | ||
| Let me see if I remember. | ||
| It was really annoying. | ||
| These are the fucking insult comments I had. | ||
| You're selling out, man! | ||
| They're the ones that start with a compliment, but are the passive-aggressive ones. | ||
| So this one was... | ||
| For 20 minutes, I took the paranormal activity. | ||
| You know how paranormal activity shows the crowd and doesn't show the movie? | ||
| So it's the crowd reacting to paranormal activity. | ||
| Have you seen that? | ||
| So it's like people are like... | ||
| Oh no! | ||
| And I thought, well, fuck man, that's funny. | ||
| I wonder what that would look like if they were reacting to a Red Lobster commercial. | ||
| So I just put a Red Lobster commercial on top of them freaking out over a scary movie and it came out kind of funny, weird. | ||
| And so I put that up on my YouTube page and someone left a comment like, well, this is the only one of your videos that didn't make me laugh. | ||
| Why would you even fucking say that? | ||
| It's like a compliment, a very nice compliment mixed in with just like a shitty jab. | ||
| He gave you a check minus. | ||
| Well, you know, what it is is when you get on the internet, you're allowing yourself to interact with anybody. | ||
| Anybody and everybody. | ||
| You can't choose at all. | ||
| There's no choosing. | ||
| Any random person can just cunt their way into your life, just cunt a storm through your fucking life online. | ||
| And it's not like a real community. | ||
| I mean, you can create a community online with a message board or something like that, with Twitter lists and shit like that, like who you follow, who you block. | ||
| But, you know, at the end of the day, you know, the boundaries between people are kind of separated. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And people can just get at people. | ||
| And so, YouTube comments are a perfect example of that. | ||
| You want to see, like, how the world is going? | ||
| You look at the YouTube comments. | ||
| If the YouTube comments were like, well, better luck next time. | ||
| And he seems like a cool guy. | ||
| It wasn't my kind of music, but I could see how some people could like it. | ||
| That's a nice way of, eat shit, drown in a river of AIDS. Totally. | ||
| You faggot cunt. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, you see those over and over again, and YouTube doesn't block them, and it is a fascinating sociological experiment. | ||
| Thousands of years from now, if data still exists, if you can still read off of our hard drives, probably you won't be able to, but whoever finds us in our archaeological future the way we have found ancient Sumer or ancient Rome or any civilization that we've tried to piece together from information from the past, they're going to look at YouTube comments. | ||
|
unidentified
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And they're going to be like, look at these crazy assholes. | |
| Look at these motherfuckers. | ||
| Any video that they go to... | ||
| What if they went to Rebecca Black? | ||
| Here's just a 13, 14-year-old girl talking about hanging out with her friends. | ||
| She had a song. | ||
| She's 14 years old, man. | ||
| She's a little girl. | ||
| You're not supposed to like that song if you're a fucking grown person. | ||
| But... | ||
|
unidentified
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That song was assaulted by a fucking tsunami of shit. | |
| Those comments, and you look at her 25 million hits or whatever the hell she had, the comments on her videos are horrendous. | ||
| They're terrifying. | ||
| Just fucking raw anger. | ||
| And all it is is just an easy target. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| It's just an open, easy target. | ||
| What you're supposed to do, you're not supposed to go, this is fucking bullshit! | ||
| This is what passes for fucking music, man! | ||
| No, that's not what you're supposed to do. | ||
| What you're supposed to do is go, oh, this isn't for me because I'm not 14. Right. | ||
| And not get angry. | ||
| Just move on with your life. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But some people, man, they just want to get on that YouTube with you motherfucker. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I want you to feel what I feel! | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Ah! | ||
| Fucking spooky. | ||
| Oh, they just want to hurt. | ||
| There's sweaty fingers pecking down on the keys. | ||
| God, I see people on my message board all the time just get cunty with somebody. | ||
| For no reason, I'll just send them to the special ed room. | ||
| Get out. | ||
| Get out. | ||
| Stop that. | ||
| You don't have to do that for no reason. | ||
| You don't have to just get shitty with people. | ||
| As far as I can recall, I've never left a shitty fucking comment. | ||
| I just don't think there's time to leave a shitty comment. | ||
| It's so silly. | ||
| I mean, I've gotten in Flame Wars. | ||
| Yeah, I've gotten in a bunch of those. | ||
| But what people don't understand about Flame Wars is it's kind of like a competition. | ||
| You know, it's sort of like the dozens. | ||
| You know, like you play the dozens. | ||
| You know, if you don't know what it is, it's like, you know, your mom is so fat... | ||
| You know, when you sit down, people think she's a sofa. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And you go back and forth. | ||
| You insult each other. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's like a big thing with the brothers. | ||
| They love to play the dozens. | ||
| That's what it's called. | ||
| But that's sort of what flame wars are. | ||
| It's kind of fun that we're all anonymous, right? | ||
| And so you're kind of just up to your wits. | ||
| It's just you and your wits against somebody else and their wits. | ||
| And all of a sudden, you get in some cunty little argument with someone online, and you want to fucking You want to sit back? | ||
| Let me craft my words carefully here. | ||
| I'm going to fuck you up, bitch. | ||
| And I love watching it as a sport. | ||
| I like watching smart people go back. | ||
| And the really cunty thing to do is to have a sentence and then respond with a big chunk and then another sentence. | ||
| Break it down. | ||
| It's such a bully move where you're taking a sentence, a little tiny segment of what someone said, not in the greater context of several paragraphs of writing, but just one little sentence and then they'll respond to it with a river of shit. | ||
| And you go back and forth and back and forth. | ||
| I've done that. | ||
| It's stupid. | ||
| I don't do it anymore. | ||
| Occasionally I do. | ||
| But for the most part, I just try to be silly with it. | ||
| But in the past, man, I've gotten involved in long flame wars with people that went on for days. | ||
| Well, I mean, if you think about, like, imagine if YouTube had existed when Buddha incarnated on the planet. | ||
| So, like, he could, like, upload his ideas onto YouTube. | ||
| It would still have shitty comments. | ||
| Like, what a fucking joke. | ||
| You idiot, what are you talking about? | ||
| Life is suffering. | ||
| Go sit under the tree some more, faggot. | ||
| You know, it would be like that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| When you hear that, though, I mean, don't you have a little bit of an instinct to say the same thing? | ||
| Life is suffering. | ||
| Oh, profound one. | ||
| Please. | ||
| Please ponder on. | ||
| When you're getting your dick sucked, is that suffering? | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| When you're in an awesome movie, is that suffering? | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no, no. | |
| It's not. | ||
| When you're on stage and you're killing, is that suffering? | ||
| Wait, but let me ask you this. | ||
| Let me ask you this. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| When you're hanging out with your friends, is it suffering? | ||
| No, it's not. | ||
| If you have a nice car and it's comfortable and you get a good stereo and the great song comes on, is that suffering? | ||
| No! | ||
| No, it's not Buddha! | ||
| Buddha's life sucked! | ||
| Because Buddha didn't have cool shit or cool friends. | ||
| No, no, that's wrong. | ||
|
unidentified
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He had chipmunk friends, Joe. | |
| He had a whole bunch of chipmunks. | ||
| Duncan actually said that's wrong. | ||
| He knows Buddha. | ||
|
unidentified
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Buddha fight. | |
| Buddha fight. | ||
| Go way back. | ||
| History's very vague, but... | ||
| My relationship with Buddha supersedes that. | ||
| I text Buddha. | ||
| No, but the thing when you're saying Buddha had a shitty life, there's the story of Buddha, and Buddha started off as a very wealthy prince, and there was a problem. | ||
| In what year? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| That life sucked. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| I don't care if it's 600 BC, 600 AD. According to legend, his father, he had a harem. | ||
| He had a harem. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| That's good. | ||
| Stinky girls with no razors, not a razor in sight. | ||
| Everybody's disgusting. | ||
| For the time, it was a pretty good life. | ||
| For the time, it was a pretty good life. | ||
| A harem. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| Listen, man, it was a terrible time to live. | ||
| Terrible. | ||
| No internet, no cell phones, no refrigerator, no vaccines, no fucking U.S. military presence overseas. | ||
| Listen, it's a terrible goddamn time to live. | ||
| Fuck Buddha. | ||
| This idea is ridiculous. | ||
| Life is not suffering. | ||
| Life can be the shit. | ||
| Do you know the rest of the noble truths? | ||
| Oh, well, hold on. | ||
| The problem is you're attached. | ||
| You just said noble. | ||
| That's what they're called. | ||
| I know, but you are. | ||
| That's the most pretentious thing a human could ever say. | ||
| Do you know the noble truths? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what they're called! | |
| I understand that, bro. | ||
| That's what they're called! | ||
| Bro, I'm just fucking around here. | ||
| These are just jokes. | ||
| Don't get personal. | ||
| He takes it very personal. | ||
| No, I don't. | ||
| I like to shit on Buddha every now and then just to get a rise on a Duncan. | ||
| Well, no, just because you sound like you don't know what it is. | ||
| You could pick on Duncan and he won't even fight back. | ||
| But you're talking about Buddha. | ||
| He'll fucking kick your ass, dude. | ||
| But it would be like... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Step up. | |
| If you picked on Duncan, Duncan'd be like, hey, man, come on, why are you being an asshole? | ||
| It'd be like me making fun of the UFC and being like, you know, because they fight eight rounds. | ||
| And then you'd be like, well, no, they don't. | ||
| There's no rules. | ||
| Something like that, where you're like, you clearly don't know what it is. | ||
| Which is weird, because you have Buddha statues all over your house. | ||
| Brother, brother, brother, I'm telling jokes, man. | ||
| I don't believe any of this shit I'm saying. | ||
| You're hurting Buddha. | ||
| You're hurting Buddha. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, you've totally gone against a lot of the whole truth of Buddha. | |
| You need to really believe in him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| All I'm saying is that I wouldn't want to live back then. | ||
| I wouldn't either. | ||
| I'm not saying that Buddha was wrong when he said life is suffering. | ||
| It just sounds a little pretentious. | ||
| And if somebody said it today, life is suffering, I would want to probably kick them in the balls. | ||
| But there's three other things after that that kind of make that make more sense. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Go ahead. | ||
| So the second one is the cause of suffering is attachment to things staying the way they are. | ||
| The idea that things aren't going to change. | ||
| So life is suffering. | ||
| In other words, you're suffering when you think things don't change. | ||
| Oh, so what I did is basically the exact same thing that I criticize people doing on the message boards, where they take one line and don't even read the rest of it. | ||
| I didn't even listen to your whole sentence. | ||
| I took one line and I just attacked it. | ||
| I don't really mean any of the things I say. | ||
| I say things for the fun of it, okay? | ||
| I really do have Buddhas. | ||
| I have a fucking Buddha tattoo on my arm. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| I'm fascinated by Buddhas. | ||
| It's one of the things I first saw during psychedelic experiences. | ||
| The golden Buddha made of light. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| A golden Buddha in the lotus position, and then there was like infinite numbers of them around them, like fractals of golden Buddhas in the lotus position. | ||
| That was one of the craziest experiences of my life. | ||
| It's a cool religion, man, because it's a viral religion, which is very different from a lot of other world religions like Christianity and Islam that kind of come into a place and try to change what's happening in the place to conform to Christianity. | ||
| Buddhism goes into a place And Like Analyzes whatever the belief system is In that place And then incorporates that Into the philosophy of Buddhism So you get these Vastly different forms of Buddhism All over the planet Like In Like Tibetan If you look at Zen Buddhism And then you look at Tibetan Buddhism They couldn't be more different Zen Buddhism is very austere. | ||
| If you look at a Zen monastery, the walls, I've never been at one, but the walls are made of rice paper. | ||
| It's like these guys fucking sitting there meditating, spending their whole life meditating. | ||
| It's very, very stark. | ||
| Then you look at Tibetan Buddhism, and it's like golden Buddhas and prayer wheels and prayer flags, and it's like this bright, beautiful thing. | ||
| And the reason is when When Buddhism came to Tibet, there was a religion called Bon. | ||
| B-O-N. That was the original religion. | ||
| And it just took that religion and transformed it so it embodied the noble truths of Buddhism. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow! | |
| Isn't that cool? | ||
| They just hybrid. | ||
| They hybrid. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it does. | ||
| It infects Infects, probably the wrong word, but it gets into a culture and then just... | ||
| I think infects is a great word. | ||
| Yeah, that's what it is. | ||
| I mean, it's sort of a negative word. | ||
| Yeah, well, I mean, that is what it is. | ||
| It's viral. | ||
| It gets into the DNA of a thing and then transforms it into Buddhism. | ||
| That's fascinating. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| You know, I've always wondered what the boundaries of meditation are because I don't really have the time to be sitting around all day meditating. | ||
| But I always feel like anything, like even the isolation tank, which is very much like a symptom or rather a method of meditation, Meditation. | ||
| The isolation tank, the more you do it, the better you get at it. | ||
| The more relaxed you get when you're inside, the easier it is for you to let go, the easier it is for you to get to that really crazy deep state. | ||
| So I would assume that with meditation, just like with anything, with music or martial arts, the more time you spend at it, the better you get at it. | ||
| I would wonder, what the fuck can you do with your brain if you have like 10, 12 hours a day? | ||
| Because you know, Eddie Bravo has this friend of his. | ||
| He went to Egypt with this lady. | ||
| And she was a kundalini aficionado. | ||
| Like a serious devotee of kundalini yoga. | ||
| And this lady did kundalini yoga all fucking day. | ||
| And what she said was that it was all about stimulating... | ||
| Particular areas of your brain that can produce psychedelic chemicals and that what you're trying to do is like open up your chakras and you can tune in to higher frequencies of consciousness and that these people say that at the highest levels that these these people are capable of putting themselves into a psychedelic state absolutely naturally. | ||
| So like what you would have to do by taking mushrooms or taking peyote or whatever, they can just meditate and get there and they travel in their mind to like distinct different places. | ||
| And the idea is that what they're doing is they're literally changing the form of their mind. | ||
| If you look at the mind of a person who meditates, you know, a Buddhist monk, you know, a person who meditates 10-12 hours a day. | ||
| The way their brain works is different. | ||
| The size of different areas of the brain is different. | ||
| When they look at the activity in the mind, it's different than a regular person's brain. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen that stuff. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| Tuning into higher... | ||
| Like, a higher plane of consciousness, if that is what they're doing, that they're able to do, just like, I mean, what we see in marathon running, just like what we see in everything, you know, like, could you run a marathon? | ||
| I couldn't run a fucking marathon. | ||
| Could you imagine if you had to run a marathon right now against one of those skinny guys from Africa that runs barefoot? | ||
| Fuck! | ||
| You're fucked! | ||
| You're never going to run as fast as him. | ||
| You're never going to catch him. | ||
| You're never going to be able to run 26 miles as fast as him. | ||
| But he can do it. | ||
| And you know what that means? | ||
| You can probably do it too. | ||
| But it doesn't start like that. | ||
| It starts when you run one mile, and then you learn to run five miles, and you build yourself up until you can run 26 miles barefoot. | ||
| But most people can't just do that right from the jump. | ||
| That's got to be the same way with meditation. | ||
| Because I know that when I meditate, I can get into a really... | ||
| I'm in a good state just when I'm alone. | ||
| I'm alone in a hotel room. | ||
| I'll do yoga and I'll meditate. | ||
| I'll go into a certain pattern of breathing and I'll focus and concentrate on my breath. | ||
| And when I do that, I can achieve a good perspective. | ||
| I can achieve a good objective look at life. | ||
| And I can relieve myself of any unnecessary concerns. | ||
| And I'm pretty good at that. | ||
| But I would imagine that if you really devote yourself to really just concentrating on achieving the possibilities of these different states of consciousness, I think that you'd be able to get high. | ||
| I did this thing, because I studied religion and psychology in school. | ||
| I got to do an internship at a Zen temple. | ||
| And part of the internship is you do this thing called a sasheen, which is where you sit for like three days straight. | ||
| Just staring at this wall for three days straight in the lotus position. | ||
| You did this? | ||
| Well, I went to do it. | ||
| And I made it through... | ||
| I think like 11 hours of meditation. | ||
| I made it through, you sleep like four hours and the next day you wake up and immediately you eat and then you go right back into meditating. | ||
| And so I made it, I don't know, I made it a pathetically small length of time because it was snowing outside and I started thinking about how good a beer would be. | ||
| Something about the snow being like, man, I love to drink a beer. | ||
| But during the time that I was staring at the wall, I don't know, like six hours in or some certain amount of time in, they start doing this thing called the Heart Sutra. | ||
| They start chanting this thing called the Heart Sutra. | ||
| And I don't remember the exact way it goes, but it's something like, no mind, no body, no life, no death, no beginning, no... | ||
| It's very psychedelic. | ||
| It's very droney. | ||
| And it's a negation of everything. | ||
| No mind, no body. | ||
| Say it again? | ||
| This is not an exact rendition, but as I recall, it's like no mind, no body, no life, no death, no beginning. | ||
| And they say this all together? | ||
| Yeah, they all start chanting it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That must be dope. | |
| It's dope, and you've been staring at a wall for like six... | ||
| Let's do it together. | ||
| I don't know, though. | ||
| Can you look it up? | ||
| No mind, no body. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| No mind, no body. | ||
| It's not the exact rendition. | ||
| No life, no death. | ||
| Let's just try that. | ||
| Ready? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No mind, no body, no life, no death, no mind, no body, no life, no death, no mind. | |
| Yeah, imagine that! | ||
| Dude, there's something weird about that, man. | ||
| What is weird about that? | ||
| Look up the Heart Sutra on YouTube and play it. | ||
| You guys are stoned. | ||
| We're stoned as fuck. | ||
| But listen, what is weird about chants, man? | ||
| Let's do it again. | ||
| Ready? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No mind, no body, no life, no death. | |
| No mind, no body, no life, no death. | ||
| There's something weird about that, dude. | ||
| There's something zony. | ||
| There's something hypnotic about any stupid chant, even that. | ||
| You want to hear something super trippy? | ||
| I think you could play it legally because it's a chant. | ||
| When you look up the Lotus Sutra on YouTube... | ||
| Lotus Sutra? | ||
| The Lotus Sutra. | ||
| Listen to this one. | ||
| This one's so fucking trippy. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, what were they trying to do? | ||
| They're trying to put themselves into a state of consciousness by humming like that. | ||
| Yeah, it's got a big... | ||
| The one I'm looking for... | ||
| I'll show you the one, Brian. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| That one at the very top, the Lotus Sutra. | ||
| Play the first one with a blue flower right there. | ||
| Listen to this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
this. | |
| I love listening this when I'm high. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, my God. my God. | |
| That was the 1600s version of beatboxing. - That's crazy, man. | ||
| I'm scared that if they keep going, Candyman's going to come out of the screen. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| We get it. | ||
| Yeah, it's cool, man. | ||
| It's really trippy. | ||
| How odd. | ||
| It's almost like country music. | ||
| But if you listen to some of the, like, how do you say it? | ||
| Shibobo, the ayahuasca ceremonies. | ||
| If you listen to the chanting of the people on the Amazon, it sounds very similar to that. | ||
| It's the same kind of, like, droney thing that has within it that feeling of, like, a twangy, weird, like... | ||
| I don't know, like something from New Orleans or something. | ||
| It's bluesy almost. | ||
| Very strange. | ||
| And how many different people are doing that, you think? | ||
| That's not one person, right? | ||
| That is... | ||
| That's not one person. | ||
| No, that's a group of people for sure. | ||
| That's like a congregation. | ||
| How many think we're doing that? | ||
| Because it's not like... | ||
| Did everybody have the same job? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Are they all saying the same thing? | ||
| Or were they interacting with each other? | ||
| No, people do different harmonies and stuff when you do that chant. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. | ||
| Because it doesn't sound like you could. | ||
| Like, you know, I don't know. | ||
| I mean, maybe you could. | ||
| I mean, sure you could. | ||
| Like, think of what the noises that Michael Winslow guy makes. | ||
| I mean, you probably could do it. | ||
| But it doesn't seem like... | ||
| That seems like a couple different things are being said at the same time. | ||
| Is that right? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| No, no, it's one suture. | ||
| They're reading a scripture. | ||
| They're reading this thing called the Lotus Suture, which is this whole weird... | ||
| So they're all saying the same thing? | ||
| They're all making the same noises? | ||
| Yeah, I think so, man. | ||
| It does seem like there's some under... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Except for the girl. | |
| The girl, the opera girl sounding girl. | ||
| Yeah, there was an opera girl that came in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It seemed to me... | |
| Maybe we should play it again because it seemed to me that it was like a couple different sounds that are They're singing the same thing They're singing it really fast. | ||
| But there's like a hum to it that makes you think that there might be something going on in the background, but it's not. | ||
| Every now and then there's like a little intersection. | ||
| It's a harmony. | ||
| Every now and then, though, someone will break. | ||
| Oh, yeah, they're starting at different times. | ||
| They're saying the same shit, but they're off by, like, milliseconds. | ||
| Yeah, and they're trying to catch up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow, this is amazing. | |
| If you listen to this while shirming, this would put you in a bad trip, I think. | ||
| What are you talking about? | ||
| You would get all the knowledge in the universe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think that would make this shit go crazy. | |
| It would run over you like a river of diamond-encrusted fish. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You wouldn't be able to catch it, though. | ||
| It's so much knowledge, but you wouldn't be able to grasp it. | ||
| Yeah, it could fuck your trip up, I guess. | ||
| This is Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. | ||
| That's where Nam-myoho-renge-kyo comes from. | ||
| Nam-myoho-renge-kyo comes from the Lotus Sutra. | ||
| So when you hear the beginning of it, it's... | ||
| Wow. | ||
| How did you memorize all that shit? | ||
| Well, I had to chant... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Constant strangulation? | |
| What? | ||
| Brian's left on the outside again. | ||
| Eight months. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Eight months. | |
| And I don't even have... | ||
| I don't have the whole thing memorized. | ||
| I just have the... | ||
| Different... | ||
| But you have some parts. | ||
| I have the... | ||
| Up until... | ||
| There's like... | ||
| There's two different prayers you do. | ||
| And I have the first one. | ||
| I can almost do that completely without the book. | ||
| And then the second one, I have to do the book. | ||
| If I'm... | ||
| There's like a... | ||
| How did all this get started? | ||
| I mean, you look at how bizarre all that is. | ||
| And how psychedelic that religion is. | ||
| How the hell did that get started? | ||
| What's the history of it? | ||
| Well, that's the fucking question, man. | ||
| I mean, you've got this Buddha who, according to the story, wanted to be an ascetic. | ||
| Buddha lived with the king. | ||
| There was a prophecy. | ||
| He's either going to be a great conqueror. | ||
| So this is a real human being absolutely proven by history? | ||
| Uh, man, I think so. | ||
| I mean, shit. | ||
| More provable than Jesus or less? | ||
| I couldn't answer that. | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| I mean, to me, it's like, it's... | ||
| Not that much of a consideration because there's so many scriptures that come from it. | ||
| There's clearly something there. | ||
| And it's like, there are a bunch of interpretations. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But the story's cool. | ||
| In Buddhism, it's different from Christianity. | ||
| Some forms of Christianity, they're like, you must believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God. | ||
| You have to believe that for the magic to work. | ||
| Buddhism isn't quite like that. | ||
| Buddhism is more like... | ||
| Test all of this. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Test it like you would be, if you were buying gold, like you would weigh and measure and test gold because you need to logically understand what this is. | ||
| You have to logically, it has to logically make sense to you. | ||
| And this is in Buddhism? | ||
| That's some forms. | ||
| That's not all forms of Buddhism, but some. | ||
| There's a great... | ||
| You were telling me, I'm sorry, I interrupted you before. | ||
| You were explaining that he lived with a king. | ||
| Yeah, he was the prince. | ||
| And the king didn't want him to... | ||
| Because the prophet said he'll either be the Tathagad of the Wheel-Turner, like this great prophet that he was, or he's going to be this conqueror. | ||
| He's going to be a world conqueror. | ||
| And so his father was like, well, fuck that. | ||
| I don't want him to be a fucking prophet. | ||
| I want him to be a world conqueror. | ||
| So I'm going to keep him... | ||
| Locked up on the grounds of the palace and give him everything he wants, you know, a harem, whatever he wants he can have. | ||
| And so the story is, he was out with his, like, I don't know, he was out riding around. | ||
| He saw three sights, and I don't remember exactly what they were, but I know one was a dying man, or a corpse. | ||
| He saw a corpse, a diseased man, and an ascetic. | ||
| He saw these three things, and he's like, oh, there's... | ||
| All this pleasure that I'm getting in the palace is temporary. | ||
| It's temporary. | ||
| It's not going to last. | ||
| I'm going to get old. | ||
| I'm going to die. | ||
| I'm going to get diseased. | ||
| This happens to everyone. | ||
| There's no escape from this. | ||
| It happens to everyone. | ||
| So these pleasures I'm experiencing, I would rather figure out a way to have lasting, permanent realization than this temporary transient shit. | ||
| So we went and became an ascetic And he, like, starved himself to the point of death, almost, because he did everything in the extreme. | ||
| So there's, like, statues of, like, starving Buddha. | ||
| Yeah, I've seen those, man. | ||
| You told me about that, because you know that I have this thing about collecting Buddha statues, and I've got a couple of Thai Buddhas and shit, and then you told me about this starving Buddha. | ||
| I was like, what are you talking about? | ||
| You sent me a picture, dude? | ||
| I almost thought it was a joke. | ||
| No, the skin's tight on his face, and he's like... | ||
| He's not eating anything because he's trying to go the route of the ascetic so that he could have realization. | ||
| Brian, pull one of those pictures up, man. | ||
| Fucking cool. | ||
| Of a starving Buddha because they're creepy as fuck, man. | ||
| I never had heard about this before. | ||
| Oh, it's cool, man. | ||
| How long did he do this in his life? | ||
| I don't know the time. | ||
| And everyone has this story? | ||
| This is the story. | ||
| Yeah, this is it. | ||
| It all starts with this story. | ||
| And so then he... | ||
| So that didn't work out. | ||
| And then he ate. | ||
| And, you know, the ascetics rejected him. | ||
| The ascetics rejected him because he was eating. | ||
| Look at this, man. | ||
| It just sunk into his head. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, he got really close to death that way. | ||
| I think there's a full body one, Brian, if you back up. | ||
| There's some other ones that have like full body. | ||
| Well, either way, you get the picture. | ||
| That's creepy. | ||
| Who the fuck would want to keep that in their house? | ||
| If you go over to a chick's house and she's got that starving Buddha in her house, fucking run, bro. | ||
| Run! | ||
| Why would you want to look at that all day? | ||
| I wouldn't. | ||
| You see the veins in his ribs? | ||
| It's creepy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You don't want to look at it. | ||
| That's barely. | ||
| That's like a cartoon. | ||
| It's like he's got mashed potatoes in his hand. | ||
| It's like an old tranny. | ||
| It's like he's about to eat a bowl of mashed potatoes. | ||
| That's cum. | ||
| He's an old tranny. | ||
| He's a starving tranny. | ||
| He's a big giant bowl of cum. | ||
| Speaking of cum. | ||
| England was fun, huh? | ||
| Have a good time in England? | ||
| Speaking of coming, England was fun. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| I'll tell you this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh no. | |
| You came on Joe. | ||
| Not really. | ||
| I mean, he sort of did. | ||
| Well, Joe's fast. | ||
| That's like Buddha. | ||
| We went to a strip club for 10 minutes. | ||
| Did we go for 10 minutes? | ||
| Yeah, 10 minutes. | ||
| It was right next to this restaurant with this bomb-ass Indian restaurant in Birmingham. | ||
| And then we would stop in at this place. | ||
| It was a disaster. | ||
| Well, it's Joe Rogan. | ||
| No, it wasn't that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's just... | |
| Oh, no. | ||
| There were people coming up to take your picture. | ||
| Yeah, but it was just the weirdest strip club ever. | ||
| And I'm trying to be as nice as possible. | ||
| The best way to say it is, you'd be kind of shocked that those girls are strippers. | ||
| I was wondering what you were going to say. | ||
| It's the best, you know. | ||
| Well, and it seems like there were other vocations that would have been better choices for them. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It seems like when their guidance counselor was telling them what to do, he shouldn't have said stripper. | ||
| Anyway, nice people. | ||
| But what was... | ||
| We couldn't do it. | ||
| We got in there. | ||
| We thought we were going to be able to sit down and just have a beer and just laugh and giggle, you know, for a little bit and then leave. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But we were getting bombed on. | |
| Yeah, it was pretty sad. | ||
| I mean, it wasn't even like... | ||
| When I go to strip clubs, aside from the fact of seeing hot, naked girls dancing, the other thing I like is the... | ||
| The darkness is there. | ||
| The seediness. | ||
| The seediness and the darkness. | ||
| Because it's funny to me because it's all a... | ||
| This is a result of a specific type of culture. | ||
| This wouldn't work if people weren't sexually repressed. | ||
| This wouldn't work if people didn't wear clothes. | ||
| There's so many weird cultural things that have to happen for a strip club to even make sense. | ||
| So when you go into there and you see the fucking weird relationship between the women... | ||
| Who are trying to act dirty and slutty and then the guys who feel like they're breaking the rules tonight. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's a funny thing because it really is nothing. | ||
| It's like you're looking at a naked girl mounting a fucking pole. | ||
| You're getting a lap dance. | ||
| It's just... | ||
| I went to a strip club once with Phil Hartman. | ||
| Phil Hartman was, uh, I wish, uh, more people got to see what that dude was like without being, like, Mr. Like, clean family, you know? | ||
| He was, like, super concerned about his image. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But... | ||
| Outside of that, he would say ridiculously dirty shit, man. | ||
| He was always telling you to smell his fingers and claiming it was different people in the cast that he figured. | ||
| He was ridiculous. | ||
| He was really funny. | ||
| To the point where they would get mad at him. | ||
| He cracked me up, man. | ||
| He was a serious blazer. | ||
| Phil Hartman used to get high every day, dude. | ||
| Especially after work. | ||
| He was very professional. | ||
| But after work, he would get blazed. | ||
| He'd get blazed and go out on his boat. | ||
| But I went to a strip club with him once. | ||
| I've never seen a guy who was... | ||
| Because he was such a great guy. | ||
| He was so expressive. | ||
| And he was a genuinely, like, friendly guy. | ||
| And this is a different era, okay? | ||
| We're talking about the early 1990s. | ||
| This was like 1995, you know? | ||
| And it was like, you know, he was there and the girl was dancing in front of him. | ||
| And he was like... | ||
| There was no shame in it at all. | ||
| He was so happy because he was... | ||
| He was so happy. | ||
| He was looking at her and she goes, I'll never forget his face. | ||
| Look at him and go, oh yeah, that's beautiful. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| He was like smiling, like beautiful. | ||
| Like you're beautiful. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Woo! | |
| Like he was just happy. | ||
| It wasn't creepy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, that's great. | ||
| It was just a guy like looking at a girl's vagina and ass going, wow! | ||
| It's beautiful. | ||
| I love people like that. | ||
| You would have loved Phil Hartman. | ||
| That guy, when he died, that hurt. | ||
| That sucked. | ||
| That was a tough one. | ||
| He was a really good guy, man. | ||
| That was a tough one. | ||
| Did I ever tell you how I found out? | ||
| There was a girl who, I think she worked for one of those tabloid shows. | ||
| We had went out on one date, but just, you know, for whatever reason, it just didn't click. | ||
| So I was at home, and it was like 8 o'clock in the morning. | ||
|
unidentified
|
8 o'clock in the morning. | |
| The phone rings, and it's her, and I'm like, what's going on? | ||
| I'm like, why are you calling me at 8 o'clock in the morning? | ||
| And she's like, you don't know? | ||
| I go, I don't know what. | ||
| And she goes, I don't want to be the first one to tell you. | ||
| I go, well, fucking tell me. | ||
| What happened? | ||
| And then she goes, Phil's dead. | ||
| And I go, Phil Hartman? | ||
| And she goes, yes. | ||
| She goes, it was a murder-suicide. | ||
| I went, whoa. | ||
| And first of all, I thought he killed her and then killed himself. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You thought that first? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I mean, you hear murder-suicide, you just automatically think men are the ones who commit violent crimes. | ||
| That's how I automatically assume. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think that. | |
| I think crazy bitches are crazy and they would fucking shoot. | ||
| I always think I'm going to get shot by a girl I'm dating. | ||
| Well, that's because of the dating pool that you're drawing from, son. | ||
| I think that's a good instinct. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, the dating pool that you draw from has been peed in. | ||
| I mean, just assume. | ||
| I mean, don't you? | ||
| When you hear about a murder-suicide, you assume that it was the man? | ||
| I actually think girls. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Wow, man. | ||
| That's because you're so nice and you're not violent at all. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| I don't hang out with crazy guys. | ||
| Because you hang out with fighters and a bunch of jiu-jitsu guys, you're around a different kind of animal than I'm used to. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm used to guys that have GameStop cards and stuff. | |
| Jiu-jitsu guys are very friendly, man. | ||
| You'd be amazed. | ||
| First of all, their ego gets squashed real early because you get tapped out a lot. | ||
| When you learn jiu-jitsu, especially in the early years, you have to have a healthy ego or you'll never get through being a white belt. | ||
| Being a white belt is demeaning. | ||
| Men manhandle you. | ||
| You know, I remember my first time I was training at Carlson Gracie's on Hawthorne Street. | ||
| It was 1996 when I first started doing jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And there was this kid who was a purple belt. | ||
| This Brazilian kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He fucking would rape me. | |
| Just crush me. | ||
| Every time we would roll. | ||
| And it drove me nuts because he wasn't any bigger than me. | ||
| He was my size. | ||
| He was my age. | ||
| We were the same. | ||
| And he would just fucking manhandle me. | ||
| Dude would just toss me around and strangle me. | ||
| And I remember thinking like, man, I can't believe that it's so easy for someone to do this to me. | ||
| And then I knew like this guy was only a purple belt. | ||
| He wasn't even a black belt. | ||
| That feeling is not a good feeling. | ||
| The feeling of getting your ass kicked like that in the gym is not a good feeling. | ||
| But the only way to get good is you gotta get used to that. | ||
| You gotta roll with good guys. | ||
| If you don't roll with good guys, you don't know whether or not you can really tap them. | ||
| You don't know whether or not your shit only works on people who suck. | ||
| You gotta get tapped. | ||
| In the beginning, you've got to get strangled all the time. | ||
| People are going to throw you around. | ||
| They're going to dominate you. | ||
| So if you can get through that, usually your egos are really in check. | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu guys are some of the friendliest, nicest, most easygoing guys that I've ever been around. | ||
| Kickboxers are a little more edgy. | ||
| And one of the reasons is kickboxers, they don't go full out in the gym. | ||
| They sort of go hard, but there's always like, you're going too hard. | ||
| There's a thing that happens in stand-up gyms. | ||
| It doesn't happen... | ||
| It happens occasionally, but not as much in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And that's someone going too hard. | ||
| Because in stand-up, it's always an issue. | ||
| Because you're not really fighting. | ||
| You have big gloves on. | ||
| The gloves are 16 ounces as opposed to 4. Or 8 or 10 if you're kickboxing. | ||
| But when you're throwing at each other, you're supposed to be pulling back a little. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And so, guys are always like, yeah, if I didn't pull back, I could have fucking knocked your ass out. | ||
| There's some unresolved issues with some guys. | ||
| So, some of them tend to be a bit more douchey. | ||
| It's like, and then the more, like, limited their sport is, the more insecure they are and the more douchey they are. | ||
| Like, boxers are more douchey than kickboxers are more douchey. | ||
| And it's all generalizations, but for the most part... | ||
| Jiu-Jitsu guys and wrestlers seem to be like the most easy going. | ||
| They go at it all the time. | ||
| You blow out all the stress out of your system and all that ego shit. | ||
| Especially with Jiu-Jitsu. | ||
| You get tapped all the time. | ||
| You gotta accept it. | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| It's spooky when you run into people who have a shitload of pinup aggression. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's scary. | ||
| I was at the Grove and I had parked. | ||
| It wasn't the greatest parking job ever. | ||
| I'll admit it was a shitty parking job. | ||
| And I'm getting in my car and this old man. | ||
| He's standing there looking at me and he's like, why did you park like that? | ||
| So it's forcing this weird confrontation in a parking lot, and the guys... | ||
| You know that thing when you get around someone and you can feel your goosebumps happen? | ||
| Like they're thinking about hitting you or something. | ||
| Yeah, like your body's telling you, like, this is not a good situation. | ||
| That was happening, and it's like this old man. | ||
| I'm like, fuck, this could be that thing where the guy's got a gun. | ||
| And this is where it pops. | ||
| This is where the volcano explodes, and I end up getting blasted in the grove. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bang! | |
| Bang! | ||
| And they catch it in the background of Mario Lopez's e-show. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, right. | ||
| So he's got his show going on. | ||
| And he's interviewing somebody and some old man shoots you. | ||
| That's the worst. | ||
| People fucking die like that all the time. | ||
| People get smoked all the time by people who have these little volcanic explosions. | ||
| Wrong place at the wrong time. | ||
| It's a real scenario. | ||
| The other day I was driving and there was a biker in the road and he was doing one of those things where he was wobbling. | ||
| I think the guy was drunk or something. | ||
| And I just kind of tried to go around him and then I didn't do the horn the whole way. | ||
| I did like a where you just barely touch it and it makes a noise. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Not even loud at all. | |
| And he just starts screaming and he freaked out. | ||
| You know where I never saw that? | ||
| Boulder. | ||
| Boulder, Colorado. | ||
| You know why? | ||
| 100,000 people. | ||
| That's why. | ||
| That's how you're supposed to live. | ||
| You're not supposed to live like this. | ||
| Everybody's all on edge, man. | ||
| Yeah, that's true. | ||
| You know? | ||
| There's some agro bikers in L.A., man. | ||
| I saw it. | ||
| Remember that guy? | ||
| There's too many fucking people in L.A. You're taking a huge risk if you're riding to bike places. | ||
| I mean, I support your right to do it, and I'm cautious of bikes. | ||
| I try to be cautious. | ||
| Me too. | ||
| But, wow, I look at them, I'm like, what a crazy risk you're taking. | ||
| Dude, I've seen so many hipster bike accidents in Silver Lake. | ||
| We're walking down the sidewalk and you see a, you know, first it's a record from the thrift store they were at. | ||
| Like they were biking one-handed. | ||
| Yeah, a couple of books and then you come up to like a fucking hipster having a seizure. | ||
| I've seen a hipster on the sidewalk seizing up as the ambulance came surrounded by old library books and weird like lace bags. | ||
| So he crashed, no helmet on? | ||
| No helmet. | ||
| No helmet. | ||
| Crashes and just... | ||
| But I saw a fucking minivan just pull into a parking lot and wasn't paying attention and just t-bone a biker. | ||
| Boom, like 12 feet. | ||
| Just fucking dangerous. | ||
| So I understand why bikers here are freaking out, but do you remember that guy at the comedy store? | ||
| There was a biker that used to ride up and down Sunset and he was this super agro biker. | ||
| Fucking ripped. | ||
| And I saw a guy yell at him in his car like what you did. | ||
| A comic? | ||
| No, it was just some bicycler who used to hang out. | ||
| But he was always there? | ||
| Always there. | ||
| And he was always pissed. | ||
| He was always screaming at traffic. | ||
| And I remember some car was like, watch out! | ||
| Because he's weaving in and out of traffic. | ||
| And the guy just stops his bike. | ||
| Because I don't think people realize that with bikers. | ||
| We're so used to doing cars. | ||
| There's this, like, I can get away from you. | ||
| I can say something. | ||
| A bicycler... | ||
| Can weave through traffic at a stoplight and just attack you. | ||
| They can get you. | ||
| We forget that. | ||
| There's no enclosure around them. | ||
| We forget that. | ||
| Yeah, people have gotten used to the delay and violence between cars where you're like, well, fuck you! | ||
| It's too much work. | ||
| I want to get out of the car and fucking get all the way to you. | ||
| This guy's in open fucking air, and he's leaving in and out of Sunset Boulevard traffic, and he's deranged. | ||
| And so some idiot says something to him, and the guy, this is what he's been waiting to happen. | ||
| He stops his bike, turns and looks at the guy, and not... | ||
| You can just hear he meant this. | ||
| He's like... | ||
| I'm going to put you in the hospital. | ||
| I'm going to break your fucking jaw, is what he said. | ||
| And it was just such venom and evil and anger spewing out of this. | ||
| He didn't punch the guy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's people. | |
| Yeah, you can't be a cunt. | ||
| There's people that want to punch people. | ||
| If you run into them, you're a cunt. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But, I mean, isn't it interesting that we have this sort of escalated anger that exists inside cars because we don't have to socially interact with each other. | ||
| We don't have to, like, feel it. | ||
| You don't have to feel the repercussions, the social repercussions of being a shithead. | ||
| So people just get so elevated in cars. | ||
| They pop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like SUVs. | |
| I don't think I could ever go back down to a small little car because you feel even more protected in an SUV. Because if shit goes down, you just run the person over and go over a couple cars and escape. | ||
| You watch too many movies. | ||
| What if you get a flat? | ||
| What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| Yeah, it's weird how you just assume, but it's funny also, the things that people say when they're in cars. | ||
| There's a video of Nick Diaz, and he had missed a press conference, and he was supposed to go and fight George St. Pierre, but they pulled him from the fight because he missed a couple of press conferences, so he made a video about it, and this is a video, like a public video, and he's in his car, and as he's driving, making this video, someone won't let him in. | ||
| He's like, let me in, let me in, fuck your mother! | ||
| Oh, fuck your mother! | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, when people say shit like that, that's funny, man. | |
| Because he wouldn't say fuck your mother if you were right in front of him, if you were like some lady. | ||
| But, you know, if it's a lady and she's in a car in front of you, you don't even have to worry about hurting her feelings. | ||
| You can say the most ruthless shit. | ||
| Dude, when I'm driving, I try to chant to relax. | ||
| You do? | ||
| Yes, I do. | ||
| So I'll be chanting when I'm driving. | ||
| Like what chant? | ||
| I'm driving through traffic. | ||
| I hate driving, so I'm chanting to relax. | ||
| And inevitably, someone will cut me off, and in the middle of chanting, I'll be like, you stupid fucking bitch! | ||
|
unidentified
|
You fucking whore! | |
| Just break into four. | ||
| Oh, that's hilarious. | ||
| That's what's really there, you know? | ||
| Dude, that's a joke. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Fuck yeah, that's hilarious. | ||
| You should talk about that on stage. | ||
| You could go far with that concept. | ||
| Oh, cool. | ||
| That's cool. | ||
| Now I'll do that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, that's the unavoidable stress of living in cities. | ||
| There's too much tension. | ||
| This is not healthy. | ||
| You know, we're all redlining every day. | ||
| Yeah, it's so weird, man. | ||
| Small communities are nicer. | ||
| It's just, you know, you deal with, or you used to deal with in the age before the internet. | ||
| You dealt with a lot more small-minded people. | ||
| You dealt with a lot more religious wackos if you wanted to live in the middle of nowhere. | ||
| It's tough to get away from the really, really religious people. | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| I had a... | ||
| Speaking of religious people, I had a... | ||
| Real American moment today where I was like, man, this is a pretty good country. | ||
| You know the inception at birth thing that just got overturned? | ||
| Do you know about this? | ||
| No, what is that? | ||
| Can you see where it was, man? | ||
| I can't remember where it was. | ||
| Can you do a favor for me? | ||
| Tilt the logo of your mic towards you. | ||
| You're talking to the side of the... | ||
| No, no, the logo on the front of it. | ||
| There's a thing on the right here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
In front of the mic. | |
| See, like this? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See, it's around here. | ||
| Look at the part where it's written and point that towards your face. | ||
| Oh, gotcha. | ||
| See it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I got it. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| Ooh, that sounds so much better. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| There you go. | ||
| You're back. | ||
| So, yeah, man. | ||
| It's like personhood at conception. | ||
| I need another water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Personhood. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think that's what it's called. | ||
| It's called personhood. | ||
| So, like, it's this thing where they want... | ||
| Basically, they want to say that... | ||
| I can't remember the exact words for it. | ||
| They have an exact word for it. | ||
| I can't remember the term. | ||
| Say it again. | ||
| Like, say, look up conception personhood at conception. | ||
| The idea is, like, when conception happens, when the fucking eggs are on the uterine wall and are fertilized by a sperm, that is now a human being. | ||
| That's a person. | ||
| So they were trying to pass that, which would make all forms of abortion illegal and maybe even birth control, depending on, like, how you look at it. | ||
| So anyway, it got overturned. | ||
| The voters overturned it, and they were thinking it wouldn't get overturned. | ||
| But it was like super religious fundamentalists were trying to... | ||
| So when you say overturned, you mean it passed? | ||
| It didn't pass. | ||
| And they thought it was going to... | ||
| There it is. | ||
| Well, isn't overturned means something gets passed and then overturned? | ||
| No, I'm sorry. | ||
| It didn't get voted for. | ||
| It didn't make it in. | ||
| It was a measure that didn't get voted for. | ||
| It lost and people were saying it was going to win. | ||
| So it was cool. | ||
| The political system in that one case worked where they thought it wouldn't. | ||
| Scary shit, man. | ||
| Scary shit? | ||
| Well, you know, it's also scary when you think about what abortion really is, you know? | ||
| That's scary, too. | ||
| I mean, you're taking a baby and you're sucking it out of your pussy with a vacuum. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's definitely too expensive. | |
| Well, there's different... | ||
| You know what, man? | ||
| There's a lot of versions of abortion that I think are fucking horrible and I totally am not for, but there is definitely cases where it should happen. | ||
| Well, not only that, how about, you know... | ||
| It's up to the person who's carrying the baby inside of them. | ||
| Until the baby's born, it's up to them. | ||
| I mean, I think if you have an aborted kid that's perfectly healthy and it's like six months old inside your body, that's kind of crazy. | ||
| But I know that people have done that in the past. | ||
| I think if it's not for a medical reason, it's not... | ||
| And I don't know if they... | ||
| It's those fucking partial birth abortions. | ||
| You know about those, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| They ice-pick the fucking brain of the baby. | ||
| It's a baby. | ||
| I mean, I think that's not... | ||
| That definitely shouldn't happen. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's almost like, I don't see it. | ||
| I don't see it. | ||
| I know what you're talking about. | ||
| La, la, la, la, la, la, la. | ||
| Yeah, just put a blanket on your baby. | ||
| Why don't you give birth to the thing and cover it in a blanket and ice pick it? | ||
| Since it's inside the pussy and you don't see me sticking the ice pick in its head, it's okay. | ||
| It's okay. | ||
| If it was outside and I jabbed it in front of you and then chopped it up into pieces, you'd be like, you just killed the baby. | ||
| Or if it came out for a second and you put it back in, couldn't do it. | ||
| Same baby, but if you pulled it out of the vagina and put it back in, you couldn't ice pick it once it'd been in the air. | ||
| The rule is once it's been in the air, you can't kill it anymore. | ||
| Then it's a person. | ||
| Then it's alive. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucked up. | ||
| That doesn't make sense. | ||
| How crazy is it? | ||
| It's really strange. | ||
| This is a taboo subject. | ||
| This is a subject you're supposed to, if you're a rational, open-minded person, you're supposed to just favor choice. | ||
| Which I do. | ||
| I think it's a real slippery slope. | ||
| It's a real slippery slope when someone tells you what you can and can't do with your body. | ||
| It seems like you're killing a baby, but I guess you should be able to do it. | ||
| We've discussed this before. | ||
| It's much easier when it's a small couple cells. | ||
| It's much easier to rationalize. | ||
| It's on its way to being a baby. | ||
| It depends on where the thing is. | ||
| It depends on a lot of different things. | ||
| Everyone wants to make these sweeping things. | ||
| The two extreme sides are it should be illegal no matter what. | ||
| Even if a rapist impregnated the woman and the baby's going to kill her, then she should have that baby and we'll raise the baby up to Christ. | ||
| Say his name. | ||
| Say his name, Lord Jesus Christ. | ||
| We'll raise that rapist baby up to Jesus Christ and he could be the next president. | ||
| Did you see Rick Perry stumble? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| Did you see Rick Perry stumble? | ||
| Yeah, it was awesome. | ||
| It was such hilarious. | ||
| It was such a fucking... | ||
| It was uncomfortable to watch that. | ||
| It's hilarious to think that you don't know that. | ||
| Yeah, you forgot. | ||
| You don't know that. | ||
| You forgot that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You're running for president. | ||
| How the fuck are we going to let you keep track of the world's military presence? | ||
| Isn't he the executioner? | ||
| Isn't Rick Perry the one who had shitloads of people he executed? | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| In Texas. | ||
| In Texas. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Including controversial ones. | ||
| He sends them to the fryer. | ||
| Yeah, they send a lot of them to the fryer. | ||
| Which, you know, listen, if people are cunts, I kind of like that. | ||
| I like getting rid of them. | ||
| But I don't trust the political system. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| Yeah, that is it. | ||
| That's number one. | ||
| But Rick Perry's a, you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette kind of guy. | ||
| He's like, if I gotta fucking kill a couple of nice people to fry a bunch of assholes, then well, that's the price you pay for liberty. | ||
| Yeah, he is one of those guys, right? | ||
| Yeah, that's what he's like. | ||
| He's a fucking asshole is what he is, man. | ||
| I mean, you can't... | ||
| It's like, that's the main thing. | ||
| Until we perfect the system, the legal system, you can't have the death penalty. | ||
| It's not part of being a citizen of the United States does not mean that you've got to risk being falsely imprisoned and executed because the legal system isn't perfect. | ||
| That's wrong. | ||
| You can't give the ultimate punishment unless you've really perfected the system. | ||
| Until we know 100%. | ||
| I know there's way better methods now than there have ever been before when you include genetics. | ||
| I've watched CSI. I'm pretty sure I'm up to what they're up to. | ||
| But still, there's a lot of doubt in some cases. | ||
| And there's also fucking shady cops, man. | ||
| There's people who plant evidence. | ||
| They plant evidence. | ||
| It happens all the time. | ||
| It's not something that's never taken place in the history of man. | ||
| It has most certainly taken place. | ||
| It's been proven. | ||
| So you've got to know your system is fucking airtight, and it's just not. | ||
| Also, what if someone actually reforms? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| While they're in prison, what if someone is actually now a good person? | ||
| Are you still gonna kill them? | ||
| Depends on what they did. | ||
| If they killed people, I'd say yeah. | ||
| Let's say they killed someone. | ||
| Yeah, I'm biblical on that, man. | ||
| You're Sharia on that. | ||
| Yeah, I'm my friend. | ||
| It's Sharia law. | ||
| I think there's certain justifiable homicides, you know? | ||
| I think I believe in that. | ||
| I believe in if someone's trying to kill you. | ||
| Like, I heard this story. | ||
| Who told me this story? | ||
| Was it you? | ||
| About the death metal band? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, you tell me. | ||
| Tell me this story. | ||
| You told me on the plane. | ||
| Tell me the story. | ||
| So here's the story. | ||
| Perfect example of justifiable homicide. | ||
| There's a documentary on Norwegian death metal that I saw on Netflix. | ||
| So if I fuck up the story for death metal fans out there, I apologize. | ||
| I'm going to tell it as best as I can remember it. | ||
| So the idea is it's about Burzum. | ||
| Basically, it's about this group. | ||
| Where did punk form? | ||
| In the UK. I have no idea. | ||
| So punk forms, and there's a group of punk bands. | ||
| Wherever there's an art movement, there's a group of artists who are the core of the movement. | ||
| Or even in music, like with gangster rap. | ||
| There was N.W.A. There's a bunch of... | ||
| Ice-T. Yeah, right. | ||
| And they all kind of form together. | ||
| So Norway's answer to that... | ||
| is Norwegian death metal where these fucking guys decide that they're gonna go hardcore and be like truly truly as dark as you can get terrible people terrible well they they like so they started burning down churches they started going through the countryside burning down churches and uh one in one of the bands one of the band members uh was so depressed Because he's into death metal, | ||
| and that's all they think about is death, that he goes back to his house, puts a gun in his mouth, and blows his brains out. | ||
| And the other guy in the band comes to the house... | ||
| Sees his dead body, takes a picture of his fucking head, and uses that as the cover of their next album. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| Yeah, it's just fucking hardcore, man. | ||
| So they're burning down churches, and Burzum hears that this other guy was his competitor, he had some history with, he heard that this guy was saying, yeah, I'm gonna kill him. | ||
| I'm just going to kill him. | ||
| And he was bragging about how he was going to kill him. | ||
| So this guy's like, oh, well, okay. | ||
| He wants to kill me. | ||
| He's going to kill me. | ||
| So I'm going to have to kill him first. | ||
| And he got in his car and he drove to where the guy was and he fucking executed the guy. | ||
| He killed him. | ||
| He went to jail. | ||
| He's in jail in Norway. | ||
| Oh, play Burzum receiving his life sentence. | ||
| Wait till you see this. | ||
| Can we play that on YouTube? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I think so. | ||
| So he gets, like, not life sentence. | ||
| Is this the movie? | ||
| Hey, Brian, how is... | ||
| I'm noticing this before we play this. | ||
| How would you have me reversed? | ||
| You have my left hand, my right hand, and my right hand, my left hand. | ||
| It's freaking me out, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's so that it looks like we're all talking to each other. | |
| Oh, that's cool. | ||
| Oh, that's so bizarre. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, look up Burzum received sentence. | ||
| And it's really weird because the guy gets like a 27 year sentence in prison because that's all they can give in Norway. | ||
| That's it? | ||
| Yeah, and he gives the creepiest smile. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| So how many years has he been in for? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't follow death metal that much. | ||
| In your way, you can only get 27 years no matter what you do. | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| God, I feel like... | ||
| I'm sorry, man. | ||
| You guys, I feel like I've thrown out some wonky facts. | ||
| I only have a fuzzy understanding of everything. | ||
| How do you say the guy's name again? | ||
| Burzum. | ||
| B-U-R-Z-U-M. Vlad something. | ||
| Vrignes or something. | ||
| Vlad Vrignes. | ||
| Let me see. | ||
| Yeah, that's him. | ||
| What does it say? | ||
| This one? | ||
| That's the guy who did it. | ||
| That's the guy. | ||
| They were burning down churches, man. | ||
| They were burning down these antique wooden churches. | ||
| And someone wanted to kill him. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Crank that shit. | ||
| Let me hear that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| Varg Vikernes, born 1173, was arrested for a penalty in 21-21-21. | ||
| Vikernes was arrested for an overlapped penalty. | ||
| In addition, he was arrested for a penalty in Oslo, Scholl Church in Rogaland, Aasane, Look at that grin! | ||
| That's because fucking prison in Norway is like a country club. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Oh yeah, man. | ||
| It's nice, dude. | ||
| They've got nice prisons there. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's not like the U.S. prisons. | ||
| Norway's got this really fucking intense ethic about reforming people. | ||
| They really want to reform people. | ||
| Their prison systems are based on reformation rather than revenge. | ||
| Like in the United States, it's like exacting punishment. | ||
| We must punish you. | ||
| We're going to take it out of your hide. | ||
| There, they're like, look, let's try to fix them. | ||
| Maybe there's a way to make it so that they don't go back into society as criminals still. | ||
| We might be able to just fix them. | ||
| You know, fix the problem. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| Because, I mean, the death penalty, you don't have to... | ||
| How do you feel about that? | ||
| Oh, I think it's genius. | ||
| You think it's genius? | ||
| Does it work? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| If it works, it's great. | ||
| When we were in England, do you remember there was a moment where I was talking to the crowd about how polite people are in England? | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| This is so different than America. | ||
| The way people act, the way people behave, the crowds, they're just so different. | ||
| And in Norway, they're probably pretty nice folks for the most part. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet. | |
| This is what they're trying to do. | ||
| Think of how nice and friendly people are in England. | ||
| It's probably real similar in Norway. | ||
| It's almost like that system has to be in place almost from the get-go. | ||
| It's like once you get as rotten... | ||
| As the prison system that we have today, to take those people and just shove them into country clubs and make everything nice and fun and easy. | ||
| The thing is, man, there's so many other, you know, there's the, what do they call it? | ||
| Do you think that that would ever possibly work? | ||
| Well, I think you have to mix in some pharmaceuticals. | ||
| You have to be able to legally give them mushrooms and psychedelics in combination with really radical therapies to reform them. | ||
| To reform the way they're thinking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And you can't do that now. | ||
| You can't do that now. | ||
| But they used to. | ||
| Timothy Leary was doing it with Alpert. | ||
| They were doing experiments with reforming prisoners, and they would go into jails and eat mushrooms with the prisoners. | ||
| They would trip with the prisoners. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| Yeah, and it was, you know, it's anyone who's done a psychedelic, if you think about it, you're like, oh yeah, this could really, this, if anything, can fix a person's deep psychic problems, this could do it, if it was done the right way. | ||
| Because of the pharmacological inquisition that is happening right now, these substances, you can barely even experiment with them. | ||
| And now that they have, Johns Hopkins University is saying, oh yeah, if you eat mushrooms, it'll improve your personality. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So maybe that's the key. | ||
| Maybe the Hopkins study will lead to more studies, which will lead to treatments for people who have... | ||
| Are all these studies, when they do these studies, all these people that are taking these studies are usually people that need money and probably are depressed anyway, so they probably made everybody's life... | ||
| See, the thing is, man, they don't take really nice wealthy golfers that are retired on Florida and go, hey, take this study. | ||
| They're probably taking people that need a quick $300. | ||
| No, they're very strict about it. | ||
| When they're getting applicants, especially for big studies like these, they have like... | ||
| That's part of the... | ||
| When the FDA is approving this shit, that's a big part of what they go through. | ||
| Where are you getting your control group? | ||
| Where are you getting your group from that you're doing the study on? | ||
| Because if it was like... | ||
| You're thinking about the way they do tests for TV shows. | ||
| You know, I'm saying that, like, is these studies like the same that I used to do in college? | ||
| Or are these studies like a bunch of poor people? | ||
| Or are they like a mix of these studies? | ||
| Because that means a lot. | ||
| Yeah, who is John Hopkins studying? | ||
| Were they studying students? | ||
| You can look up. | ||
| There's like housewives in the Johns Hopkins studies. | ||
| They were like intentionally trying to find people who are like not as familiar with mushrooms or hadn't taken them because... | ||
| But needed a quick $300 for the study. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, I don't know, man. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| Because all those people, if they take mushrooms, their life's going to feel better because they're fucking great. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| I don't like eating mushrooms when I'm fucking broke. | ||
| And if I was in a – I don't know the income. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| When you're tripping and you start thinking about bills – That's what I'm saying. | ||
| That's a fucking shitty trip, man. | ||
| Well, yeah, it depends on how much it weighs on you. | ||
| For some people, when you're broke, it's all day. | ||
| It weighs on you. | ||
| Other people can just kind of brush it off, and they don't seem to give a fuck. | ||
| I consider it a party drug. | ||
| Like, I want to fucking leave this reality. | ||
| I want to just get the fuck out of this, you know? | ||
| That's what you consider mushrooms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I do too, but along the way, it's always this white-knuckle ride where you're scared as fuck before you do it, and then once you do it, you realize, God, why was I ever scared of this? | ||
| And then after it's over, you sort of assess whatever you've kind of absorbed, whatever fish you've caught in your golden net. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
| Yeah, you catch some fish. | ||
| Mushrooms, I've never thought of them as a go-out-party drug. | ||
| In the days when I would take it, acid was that. | ||
| I could go out and have fun. | ||
| When I was a kid, you'd go to shopping malls and trip. | ||
| Did you ever get to a point where you weren't lucid, like you couldn't communicate? | ||
| With LSD? Yeah, like where you're out and you're talking to people and you just can't keep it together, like you can't communicate with them? | ||
| Not when I was out. | ||
| I took a really powerful dose and tried to have a conversation with a girl I was taking it with and I sounded like a schizophrenic. | ||
| I was having like word salad. | ||
| We had just gone to some Greek festival and I had watched these little kids dancing and I was like sitting watching these kids like doing some weird Greek traditional dance and it was like It felt like I could see through the concrete. | ||
| It just felt like this beautiful moment where the universe is like watching a flower. | ||
| It's a traditional weird dance. | ||
| It's so cool the way the universe can express beauty in that way. | ||
| So I was tripping. | ||
| And sitting on the couch, and I'm trying to tell her, universe, flower, beautiful, God, yeah? | ||
| You know that kind of word, salad, just shit? | ||
| Because I was so spellbound and also tripping so hard, my language centers have gotten fucked up. | ||
| I mean, when you see someone on a heavy dose of acid, they have a problem talking. | ||
| They, like, their language gets all mixed up and weird. | ||
| My last shroom thing, I couldn't even walk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was the first time I ever did a psychedelic where I couldn't use my feet. | |
| I fell to the ground. | ||
| Whoa, that's crazy. | ||
| You fell to the ground in the presence of Jesus! | ||
| Praise the Lord. | ||
| Say his name! | ||
| Dude, do you want to hear my podcast prayer? | ||
| Yeah, I do, but I wanted to ask you something, and I just forgot what I wanted to ask you. | ||
| Oh, oh, did you know that Ted Kaczynski was involved in the Harvard LSD studies? | ||
| You told me that. | ||
| It's fucking crazy, man. | ||
| There's a whole documentary about it. | ||
| It's not an American one. | ||
| It's called The Net, and it's all about how they caught him, and it's all about how he got started. | ||
| And he, you know, there's... | ||
| I think there's... | ||
| There's certain people that are accusing that study of wrecking his brain, you know, and that he was a fairly normal guy, and once he went through the LSD study, they cooked him. | ||
| They cooked his mind. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They probably gave him crazy high doses. | |
| Well, I don't think they knew back then. | ||
| They didn't know. | ||
| They were fucking around, you know? | ||
| I think there was a lot of experimenting. | ||
| No way they knew, man. | ||
| They were just fucking... | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| They had no idea, man. | ||
| How do they know what the correct dose was? | ||
|
unidentified
|
32 ounce of acid. | |
| Oh, it could have been, man. | ||
| It could have been. | ||
| They did some nutty shit to people. | ||
| People made some big mistakes, man. | ||
| People made some big mistakes back then. | ||
| They tried to cover it, though. | ||
| They tried to cover the fact that Kaczynski was a part of their studies because it's a real embarrassment. | ||
| I mean, when I say they, I don't even know who the fuck they are. | ||
| I might have made that up. | ||
| How about that? | ||
| But what did happen is the guy became a professor of mathematics for a few years at, I think it was University of California, Berkeley, and he just did it to make enough money to buy this cabin in the woods and plot his attack on technology. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He was gone, man. | ||
| He was gone. | ||
| This guy was out alone in the woods. | ||
| If you don't know the story of the Unabomber, if you're a young child, if you're coming to us under the age of 20, you might not even have ever heard of it before. | ||
| But it was a guy who was a brilliant, brilliant guy who was targeting all these various people that were involved in technology and fucking blowing their heads off. | ||
| Sending mail bombs. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And he was doing it all from a fucking shack in the middle. | ||
| Building mailbomb. | ||
| Yeah, remember? | ||
| That was like a sketch that they had of him. | ||
| And he was really terrorizing people for a long time. | ||
| And they were having a really hard time figuring out who the fuck he was. | ||
| They knew he was a genius, but they couldn't figure out who he was. | ||
| And then he released a manifesto. | ||
| And his brother read the manifesto, and his brother said he knew. | ||
| He said he knew right away. | ||
| He's like, oh, this is my crazy-ass fucking psycho brother that lost his mind to LSD, who's living in the woods in a box. | ||
| He's got, like, this wooden box that he lives in in the middle of the woods. | ||
| He thought that technology was eventually going to take over, and technology was the enemy, and it was... | ||
| Yeah, there's a whole form of, like, anarchy. | ||
| There's a guy, Zerzan. | ||
| If you look up John Zerzan, I think his name is... | ||
| I've heard that name before. | ||
| Yeah, he's this intense, like, anarchist. | ||
| He's, like, anti-technology, which is weird because he's got a blog, but... | ||
| Kaczynski was right in a way, though, right? | ||
| I mean, technology is sort of taking over our lives and eventually is going to be a part of our lives permanently. | ||
| You know, once you start going to... | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's Zerzan. | ||
| I mean, you start getting to the point where people become human hybrids, you know, when we become cyborgs, you know, technology literally will take over. | ||
| Yeah, totally, man. | ||
| I mean, it's like... | ||
| He saw it. | ||
| I mean, he saw a path, and I mean, it's a horrible thing that he did, but it's fascinating that blowing his brain out on acid would make him reach that conclusion. | ||
| I mean, I might be simplifying his position. | ||
| It was a factor. | ||
| It was probably a factor. | ||
| If the guy was already imbalanced or was already off... | ||
| Taking heavy doses of Harvard LSD back in the day, that's not going to help you. | ||
| Do you think it's possible to do that to a person who's fine? | ||
| Do you think you can take you and just blast your fucking brain out and you never come back? | ||
| Fuck yeah. | ||
| What about MKUltra? | ||
| The government experiments with mind control and the idea of creating a psychedelic bomb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I thought you were talking about Maddie Kirsch. | |
| No. | ||
| That's Maddie Kirsch's nickname. | ||
| Yeah, MKUltra, man. | ||
| Look that shit up. | ||
| Yeah, so a psychedelic bomb, what do you mean? | ||
| Like, what were they trying to do? | ||
| Have you ever seen Jacob's Ladder? | ||
| Yes, they were trying to do that. | ||
| Yeah, it's like the idea is they were experimenting with some kind of psychedelic that you could drop on troops like a nerve agent. | ||
| And they would just all trip out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Fall down and trip out. | ||
| You can't fight if you're tripping really hard enough. | ||
| That's so true. | ||
| What a great idea that is. | ||
| Great idea. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah, just bonk everybody out on acid. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Fucking love bombs. | ||
| Wow, a bomb. | ||
| So they wanted it to explode in the air and somehow or another everybody would get infected with acid. | ||
| I don't know how they were going to fucking distribute it. | ||
| It was probably gas. | ||
| If you would think that LSD, you just need a tiny amount of LSD. It was explained... | ||
| But this shit wasn't LSD, Joe. | ||
| This was like something they were trying to make to give you fucked up trips. | ||
| It wasn't like they wanted to give you a nice LSD trip. | ||
| Some of the stuff they whipped up... | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, even if it was just a strong LSD, if you blew it on the troops, they'd be jacked. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Would you try it, Duncan? | |
| LSD troops? | ||
| Troops LSD? No! | ||
| The shit that they're talking about is like a... | ||
| They were like... | ||
| It was a bad trip. | ||
| It's like an evil death trip. | ||
| It's not a good trip. | ||
| And everybody would just fall down and be twitching in this trip. | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| But is that more humane than nuking them? | ||
| Than killing them. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Which is better. | ||
| That's better. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Make people trip out. | ||
| It's better than nuke them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have you ever met a guy that likes bad trips? | |
| Like, that was his bondage? | ||
| Like, I just need the worst trip. | ||
| Like, it's his fetish? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm about to die. | |
| Wow. | ||
| I guess I'm... | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, that's a real terror, though. | ||
| People pretend they like terror. | ||
| Nobody likes terror. | ||
| You pretend you like terror because you want to be different or dangerous or moody or dark. | ||
| But real terror? | ||
| Bad trips are no good. | ||
| You don't want that, bitch. | ||
| Did I ever tell you about the time I saw a woman freaking out on acid at a rave? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| We were leaving. | ||
| It was in the morning. | ||
| It was me and my friend were leaving. | ||
| And this girl walks... | ||
| This girl's like crying and standing by herself and... | ||
| We went up to her like, you alright? | ||
| Can we help you? | ||
| And she's like, I lost my friends and I can't find them. | ||
| We're like, okay, well why don't we, you know, we're like, we'll give you a ride home. | ||
| We'll take you home. | ||
| Where do you live? | ||
| Or do you have a car here? | ||
| We're trying to help her out. | ||
| Her eyes were fucking black as night. | ||
| Black as the wings. | ||
| Just dilated. | ||
| So we're walking up the steps with her and all of a sudden she goes, Where is my mother? | ||
| I came from her womb! | ||
|
unidentified
|
I came from her womb! | |
| And she's just screaming. | ||
| And we're like, oh, fuck. | ||
| This is a real bad trip. | ||
| She's melting down. | ||
| So we get to the top of the steps. | ||
| All of a sudden, she's back to normal. | ||
| She's like, my friends. | ||
| I can't find my friends. | ||
| So we look over and there's some paramedics. | ||
| And we wave them down. | ||
| They get her, put her on a table, straps, strapped her down, and the last thing I saw her was on a fucking table in front of a rave, writhing and going back into my That came from her womb! | ||
| Strapped. | ||
| Yeah, they had to, man. | ||
| She's having a psychotic break. | ||
| She lost it. | ||
| She took some shit and freaked the fuck out. | ||
| And that was from acid? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, it's something that dilated her eyes. | ||
| Could have been a million things. | ||
| Don't eat the brown acid. | ||
| Don't eat the brown acid. | ||
| Don't eat the brown... | ||
| That, to me, with my luck, it feels like that's something I would have heard right after I'd eaten the brown acid. | ||
| Someone had just swallowed that stuff. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| Don't eat the brown acid! | ||
| That's the problem with drugs being illegal. | ||
| You don't know what the fuck you're gonna get. | ||
| Yeah, and most people don't know how to take them. | ||
| No one educates people on how to take them, so you end up with some fucking dumb, dopey kid who slurps back too much acid or whatever at a fucking rave and ends up in a mental asylum, probably for a few days. | ||
| How many people do you think have gone crazy because of acid? | ||
| Has anybody gone crazy because of anything else? | ||
| Like, no one's gone crazy because of mushrooms, right? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Has that ever happened? | ||
| I've never heard of that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think if you're borderline anything, it could definitely push you over. | |
| Push you over? | ||
| Yeah, well, I remember one particular DMT trip where reality was real slippery for like two weeks afterwards where I felt like I might be a little crazy. | ||
| I remember I felt like this is... | ||
| I've seen something that doesn't make any sense and I got there so easy and it's so much more vibrant than this world. | ||
| That it's very difficult for me to accept this world. | ||
| So I start looking at this world as if this world might be some sort of an artificial construct and that might be the real world. | ||
| It sounds completely retarded until you've had a real full-blown psychedelic trip. | ||
| Because when you have a real full-blown one, that world that you enter, whatever the fuck that is, that world of hallucination. | ||
| I mean, hallucination is a strange word because it implies something. | ||
| You see something that's not there. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And I'm not necessarily sure that that's the correct way to look at it. | ||
| I think you might be seeing something that is there, but you just can't see normally. | ||
| I think that's more likely. | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| I mean, I think, you know, people see fucking, you know, a six foot tall rabbit that wants to take you to a secret room. | ||
| Yeah, you're probably hallucinating. | ||
| Yeah, you are definitely hallucinating. | ||
| If you're not, you're in fucking trouble. | ||
| But if you go so far that the world around you has dissolved, at that point in time, this might not be imagination. | ||
| This might be another reality. | ||
| It might be something that you're just not capable of tuning into on a regular basis. | ||
| See, this makes me think of a problem that I think is going to happen in the future, which is that once they figure out how to neurally put video games in your mind... | ||
| People are going to start having these real big problems differentiating virtual reality from actual reality. | ||
| And there's going to be some serious problems up ahead. | ||
| Because it's like... | ||
| Imagine, you know, what's the new... | ||
| What's the Modern Warfare 3 that just came out? | ||
| Like, imagine that. | ||
| You know, six generations of consoles and computers down the line. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And so, whatever that is... | ||
| It's going to taste good. | ||
| They're going to feel it. | ||
| They may have smells involved in it. | ||
| But what happens when that reality gets so good, you can no longer distinguish realities. | ||
| You can no longer distinguish virtual worlds from real worlds because they're triggering the same thing in your brain that reality is triggering right now, but they're doing with computers. | ||
| So it's indistinguishable. | ||
| So how do you know when you've turned off the game? | ||
| How do you know when you're not playing anymore? | ||
| This is hippie talk, man. | ||
| Oh, fuck that, man. | ||
| This is what if, man. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| You're 100% right. | ||
| I don't think this is a what if. | ||
| I will admit to a million what ifs, but this seems like, if you think of where Atari was back in the, you remember when Atari came out? | ||
| Do you remember that shit? | ||
| Right. | ||
| And you saw that, for me it was like, holy shit. | ||
| You have to consider the possibility that if this life is some sort of an illusion, that it's some sort of an ever-changing illusion, and that you're constantly in a part of it, and maybe when you have these psychedelic trips, you wake up temporarily from the illusion. | ||
| Maybe psychedelics are like that sniffing shit that they give you when you get knocked out. | ||
| Yeah, smelling salts. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Huh? | ||
| What's going on? | ||
| Where am I? Yeah, that's it. | ||
| Maybe that's what it is. | ||
| Yeah, no, that's... | ||
| This is the work of fiction. | ||
| Like it appears to be. | ||
| Yeah, this is just some kind of... | ||
| Or it's just like really low down on the spectrum of awareness. | ||
| I mean, it is happening, but you're only seeing one tiny pixel of the bigger thing. | ||
| It does many times feel like it's a work of fiction, though, doesn't it? | ||
| Yeah, can I tell you when it really felt like a work of fiction? | ||
| When we flew on Air France first fucking class to the UK. That was, for me, it got really, really surreal and weird when we were sitting in that lounge. | ||
| Like, this was... | ||
| Like, I never fly first class... | ||
| So this was the kind of first class that I'd read about. | ||
| If you're out there and you've never flown Air France first class, first of all, please stay away from me because I don't like talking with people who haven't flown first class Air France. | ||
| But I felt corrupted in the first 30 minutes. | ||
| I was like, holy shit! | ||
| This is so different from any other flight. | ||
| It made every other first class experience I've had seem like Shit seemed like some it was well, you know, it was really creepy. | ||
| You know what a creepy move that they did man what everybody was there was first class Which is really nice and there was business class which is still really nice and there was coach which always sucks Well, we got up the plane landed and a lady went through the aisle and Telling the business class people to get out of the way and let the first class people get off the plane first. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like Titanic shit. | |
| It's like Titanic shit. | ||
| But I've never seen anyone do it as aggressively as this lady did. | ||
| She almost pushed a guy back. | ||
| There was a guy who was trying to get through. | ||
| She's like, sir, no, no, stay there. | ||
| And then we all walk by. | ||
| If you have a connecting flight, there's a... | ||
| Bond girl, basically, waiting in some kind of town car that picks you up, drives you to the security check-in. | ||
| You go through the security check-in. | ||
| Basically, they're treating you like you're a toddler. | ||
| They take you through the security check-in, and then you go up to this lounge. | ||
| There's this special Air France lounge in Paris, and we're sitting there. | ||
| Robin Williams walks in. | ||
| Robin Williams walks in. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| That's where things seem like fiction, where it's like, okay, really? | ||
| I don't know him. | ||
| I don't want to bug him. | ||
| Yeah, we didn't say hi, but it was very weird. | ||
| I would have bugged the fuck out of him. | ||
| I've been bugged, so leave me alone. | ||
| I don't need to talk to him. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, yeah, it would feel weird talking to him. | ||
| Hey, you're awesome in that Matt Damon movie, man. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| You're awesome in that Matt Damon movie, man. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| I like the photographer one. | ||
| Oh, that was creepy as fuck. | ||
| Yeah, he's a good actor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One hour further or something. | |
| But, yeah, it is weird how they push people aside. | ||
| They want the first class people to get off first. | ||
| Like, they made everybody sit down. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was disgusting. | ||
| It's disgusting, and it's also... | ||
| That's how a lot of people have grown accustomed to living every moment of their lives. | ||
| You realize that the wealthy have... | ||
| Because, you know, sometimes I'll go out to a public place where there's a shitload of people and I'll walk around and I'll be like, man, I fucking hate being around all these people. | ||
| This sucks. | ||
| I don't like being in big crowds. | ||
| It's annoying. | ||
| It feels weird. | ||
| And then I'll be like, you're being negative, man. | ||
| You got to open up more. | ||
| You shouldn't let this bother you. | ||
| But I think a lot of super wealthy people, they're like, they analyze that feeling like, yeah, we don't want to be around anyone. | ||
| We just want to be around small groups of people sequestered from society. | ||
| That are like us. | ||
| That don't need our money. | ||
| Yeah, that's it. | ||
| You know how the Galapagos Islands have their own species from being separated? | ||
| I think super rich people, they have their own species popping. | ||
| They have this own thing happening where they don't even... | ||
| They're really separated from us. | ||
| They don't know... | ||
| They don't even know about you. | ||
| I bet there's some super wealthy people that don't even fucking know about Occupy Wall Street. | ||
| Oh, that's ridiculous. | ||
| I wouldn't be surprised. | ||
| Oh, come on. | ||
| That's impossible. | ||
| At this point, that's absolutely impossible. | ||
| To me, it felt like there is a gigantic foam separation between us and them. | ||
| Did you see the Berkeley footage? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| Cops with batons just shoving them into the guts of these little kids. | ||
| Girls too. | ||
| Girls. | ||
| Shoving these batons into their sides. | ||
| Just jabbing them over and over. | ||
| The kids are screaming. | ||
| The kids are in a crowd. | ||
| Okay, so the kids are in the front of the crowd and they can't even go anywhere. | ||
| There's people behind them. | ||
| So these cops are, to push the crowd back, the cops are thrusting their batons into the unlucky people that are at the front of the line. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ugh. | |
| And they're little people, man. | ||
| Little skinny kids. | ||
| And these cops are fucking jabbing them with batons. | ||
| It's really uncomfortable, man. | ||
| Brian, you have really got a great studio going on here. | ||
| Brian, the thing isn't even in focus. | ||
| No, this isn't it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's not it. | |
| It's probably one of many times it's happened. | ||
| It's just one of the many footage of the cops beating people. | ||
| They're sticking... | ||
| Look at him! | ||
| I see him! | ||
| Look at him doing that shit, man! | ||
| They're poking him. | ||
| This isn't as clear. | ||
| Yeah, they're hitting him. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| I haven't seen this one. | ||
| They're just beating them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're hurting him! | |
| Who the fuck are these people? | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's because that's how we let them learn how to fucking treat us. | |
| That's how we train them to fucking stop us. | ||
| We pay for them to fucking hurt us. | ||
| It's so crazy, this small group of men. | ||
| It's like a classic. | ||
| They're screaming, stop beating students! | ||
| This small group of men has to face this gigantic horde of unarmed people. | ||
| And a small group of men, you know, they immediately have to automatically go on the defensive. | ||
| You know, look at them. | ||
| They have bulletproof vests on and fucking helmets and guns strapped to their side and batons. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And they also have to wear riot gear with face shields and shit. | ||
| I mean, they're coming at you letting you know that they're there to fight. | ||
| You know? | ||
| I mean, look. | ||
| This is what it is. | ||
| Look, they're wearing helmets with face shields and shit, man. | ||
| But I like the guy's shirt. | ||
| Pink shirt? | ||
| That guy's shirt. | ||
| I hate his belt, though. | ||
| That guy's shirt's a baton target. | ||
| You're not Conan the Barbarian, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get a real belt. | |
| Now, why are they telling them to get off the property, or why are they... | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, what are they doing here? | |
| Are they scooping these people off the property, I'm guessing? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They're checking them for lice. | ||
| You know, obviously they're telling people to stand back and the people... | ||
| Look, you know, if there's a crowd of people, the people at the front are going to get pushed forward, man. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| Yo, this is dark stuff, man. | ||
| Really dark. | ||
| Look at his boot to the neck. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| He's a fucking bastard. | ||
| He's going shin to neck. | ||
| That's shitty control, by the way. | ||
| It's not a good way to hold people down. | ||
| Don't teach them. | ||
| Don't teach them. | ||
| Go shin to neck on a normal person. | ||
| They get right up, stupid. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Try tickling first. | ||
| You're trying to hurt somebody when you go shin to neck. | ||
| Unless someone else is holding them in the back. | ||
| That's mean. | ||
| They're trying to make them feel pain as they're cuffing them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's right. | |
| They throw them down really hard. | ||
| They're really rough. | ||
| Well, it's not like that. | ||
| Did you see him? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He didn't need to shove her like that. | |
| Who are these guys? | ||
| What do these guys do after work? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| These are cops, man. | ||
| We need to find out specifically who these people are and create special videos with their names and their badge numbers. | ||
| There's already occupied people. | ||
| But there needs to be a website just dedicated to identifying the police at these protests who are being violent and pressing charges against them and suing them and making it so that it becomes financially dangerous for the individual to act the way that they're acting. | ||
| Because if these cops, if we can just get one of them, and I'm not saying get one violently, obviously I'm saying, but if we can just get one legally or financially, if one of these cops can go down like that, then all of them will start being afraid and they won't be so prone to use violence like that. | ||
| That should be... | ||
| Someone should be taking charge of that. | ||
| This is so surreal to me that this is happening right now. | ||
| What a sign of the times this is, man. | ||
| It's like watching Alex Jones dream or something. | ||
| This is like the shit he was talking about. | ||
| Oh, he's right. | ||
| This is what he's been talking about forever. | ||
| This is what I always say about Alex Jones. | ||
| He's right 70% of the time. | ||
| 70% of the time he's right. | ||
| This is 30% of the crazy stuff that he kind of makes up. | ||
| I wouldn't even say makes up. | ||
| He just goes a little too deep on certain subjects. | ||
| But these police, I don't know, because, I mean, who knows? | ||
| But it's hard for me to believe that they're thinking about the new world order or protecting globalization. | ||
| It feels like they're just normal guys who are doing it. | ||
| It's a terrible position to be in. | ||
| I mean, imagine if you're a cop and all of a sudden they tell you, this is what you have to do. | ||
| You have to get the hippies off the lawn. | ||
| Sir, there's... | ||
| 300,000 of them. | ||
| What are you going to do? | ||
| How are you going to get them off the lawn? | ||
| Good luck, man. | ||
| What are you supposed to do? | ||
| The mayor has ordered you to clear the lawn, so we must clear the lawn. | ||
| You can't clear that lawn, man. | ||
| If you're a cop, what the fuck are you going to do? | ||
| The cops are obviously being sent there to keep these people from protesting or push them off of certain areas or keep them from entering certain places, but at the end of the day, they're stuck. | ||
| There's no excuse for what they're doing. | ||
| There's no excuse for beating those people. | ||
| There's no excuse for prodding those people. | ||
| They should absolutely not be cops because they can't handle that if they're doing that. | ||
| You don't have to hit someone who's not hitting you, man. | ||
| None of those people are hitting back. | ||
| It wasn't like they were in danger and they had to protect themselves. | ||
| No, they were ragdolling people, man. | ||
| There needs to be a public shaming of those guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know how Here's the other part, though. | |
| The Occupy movement, there's a lot of shenanigans going on. | ||
| A lot of it is just nuts. | ||
| It's not all a bunch of people with valid points that are out there trying to resolve the issues that we currently have. | ||
| A lot of it is just crazy assholes. | ||
| It's not all activists at these fucking things. | ||
| These things are magnets for chaos. | ||
| They're magnets for various... | ||
| Like, constant patterns of behavior in humanity. | ||
| Also, by now... | ||
| Stereotypical patterns of behavior, like hippies, thugs, drug dealers, chaos. | ||
| There's homeless people. | ||
| There's a lot going on. | ||
| I mean, it's a community of people that Have taken to occupying giant chunks. | ||
| Dude, they showed Occupy Everywhere. | ||
| It was a poster that someone put up online on the message board. | ||
| I looked at it and showed all the different places where people are protesting. | ||
| Like, what the fuck, man? | ||
| That's when it really hit. | ||
| There's a photo. | ||
| It says Occupy Everywhere. | ||
| See if you can find that, dude. | ||
| There's Occupy US and Occupy Everywhere. | ||
| And the photos are fucking trippy, dude. | ||
| When you look at all the different protests, you're like, where? | ||
| Whenever has it been like this before? | ||
| Right, that's right. | ||
| Never. | ||
| It's never been like this before. | ||
| This is incredible. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| This is a strange, strange time. | ||
| And it snuck up on us. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| It was so quick. | ||
| All of a sudden, there's protests are everywhere. | ||
| And it really makes you take into consideration, like, where's the end point? | ||
| They can't win. | ||
| You know that Martin Luther King— Who can't win? | ||
| The fucking pigs. | ||
| They're not going to win. | ||
| You're— Dunk into the time machine, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you talking about the coppers? | |
| The coppers, eh? | ||
| No, the pig. | ||
| The pig's man. | ||
| That's the best word. | ||
| When you see some fucking fatty with a baton poking a 17-year-old girl, there is no better description for that man than pig. | ||
| Oinker. | ||
| Piggy. | ||
| That's what that guy is. | ||
| He's a fucking disgusting fucking pig. | ||
| A useless, cowardly human who's been hired by evil people to push down the force of evolution in the universe. | ||
| And if you try to stop evolution, you're fucked. | ||
| I don't know what's going to happen to that pig or the people like him, but it's not going to be great. | ||
| You can't hold it back what's happening. | ||
| It won't work. | ||
| I think as soon as you turn cops loose on people, cops are used to dealing with the enemy. | ||
| They're used to dealing with criminals. | ||
| They're used to behaving a certain way because out in their world, they have to behave that way. | ||
| If you want to stay alive as a cop, you got to take no bullshit from any fucking perps. | ||
| You got to arrest people. | ||
| You got to deal with dangerous, violent criminals that don't want to go to jail and know that you want to put them in jail. | ||
| It's a fucking high pressure, high stress job. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| The person to blame is not those cops. | ||
| It sounds like they should be to blame, but the person to blame is the person who put those cops in a position where they're going after law-abiding citizens. | ||
| That's the problem because then, even though those people technically aren't committing any crimes other than loitering, what are they doing? | ||
| Isn't there a right to protest? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Who knows what the latest statutes are? | ||
| I think it's the property, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Property, yeah. | |
| It's just, you know, they're ruining the lawn. | ||
| You don't need to, but here's the thing. | ||
| I just want to say, because it couldn't be, what I said could be misconstrued. | ||
| I'm not saying all cops are pennies. | ||
| I know you're not. | ||
| I know you're not. | ||
| Okay, but I want to be very, very clear on that. | ||
| You're talking about those guys that are doing that. | ||
| What I'm saying is, Cops are wired to deal with criminals. | ||
| I mean, they try to work with people all day, but you got to be on edge, man. | ||
| You got to be on edge all the time. | ||
| And when some asshole tells these cops, now you have to go and you have to push back these crowds of unhappy, intelligent people who are nonviolent. | ||
| And these people have very valid points about the corruption that has eroded our system to an almost unfixable point. | ||
| And they're fucking upset because they're in college, and where the fuck is their future? | ||
| You cunts have ruined the whole batch! | ||
| There's nothing left for us! | ||
| We're growing up, and we're coming out, and there's nothing left for us, you fuckheads! | ||
| You've ruined the whole thing! | ||
| And you're a cop, man, and you are the enemy. | ||
| You represent the man. | ||
| They treat you hostily. | ||
| You treat them hostily. | ||
| They don't listen to you. | ||
| You treat them like criminals. | ||
| That's how you're wired. | ||
| You're wired to treat criminals like criminals. | ||
| Yeah, all of a sudden, these young kids who have very valid points become criminals. | ||
| But it's also because there's a lot of douchebags in those groups. | ||
| Those groups are never pure, you know? | ||
| Well, no, and also those groups are... | ||
| By the way, the whole fucking problem with the current formation of this protest movement or this revolution right now is that it's so loosely... | ||
| It's the problem, and it's what's awesome about it, is that it's modular, and it seems to be broken up in all these groups that have come together into this one thing. | ||
| But there is no easier group to infiltrate than a modular group like that. | ||
| So by now, the CIA, they must have infiltrated. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Of course. | |
| They've got people there. | ||
| They're studying, like, okay, what's the best way to handle this? | ||
| How can we implant... | ||
| Break this up. | ||
| Break this up or make it turn... | ||
| We've got to start CIA guys or fuck guys' girlfriends. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That sucks. | ||
| That would suck! | ||
| The CIA decides to fuck your girlfriend. | ||
| Yeah, CIA guys, they're gonna give Miagra and get these chicks high and just fuck the shit out of them. | ||
| A lot of these girls, they've never been with a real man. | ||
| They're hanging out with all these hippies. | ||
| Oh wait, so you think CIA fuck agents have infiltrated Occupy Wall Street? | ||
| Yes, that's what my claim is. | ||
| I'm making that porn movie. | ||
| That's the movie, man. | ||
| That is the movie. | ||
| CIA porn operatives. | ||
| CIA dick-slinging experts. | ||
| Like, they show up at gangbangs. | ||
| Mr. Johnson, come with me. | ||
| Your government needs you. | ||
| And he's like, I'm in the middle of fucking all these bitches. | ||
| And this guy's just banging these bitches left and right. | ||
| And that's what they do. | ||
| They send them in. | ||
| No, it's a group of them. | ||
| And one of the guys, they got to pull out of retirement. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're like, we need you. | |
| I can't fuck again. | ||
| I fucked my soul out in Vietnam. | ||
| I'm not going. | ||
| We need you. | ||
| You've gotta come. | ||
| These hippie girls have gotta be fucked. | ||
| These hippie girls are not getting good dick, ever. | ||
| These guys are eating nothing but granola and hemp seeds and shit, and they smell. | ||
| No one's just grabbing these girls and fucking the shit out of them. | ||
| And that's what the CIA guys do. | ||
| These porno guys, they send them in, they start fucking all these girls, creates turmoil. | ||
| It's a special division. | ||
| It's like the A-Team. | ||
| The hippie fuckers. | ||
| They call themselves the hippie fuckers. | ||
| Yeah, they've been doing... | ||
| There's boot camps where they send in... | ||
| Could you imagine? | ||
| That would work, man. | ||
| On a lot of these un-fucking-balanced people, that would work. | ||
| Fuck them into submission? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Send a bunch of guys to just go in there and fuck everyone, man. | ||
| We're just going to hire Brad Pitt-looking dudes. | ||
| Just have them run through the ranks. | ||
| Get in with them. | ||
| Get tight with them. | ||
| And then just start banging dudes' wives. | ||
| That's your job. | ||
| And then be real sloppy about it. | ||
| To say that you want to be dangerous. | ||
| But get caught. | ||
| Get caught left and right. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| All the time. | ||
| Always you leave a sock. | ||
| Everybody gets caught. | ||
| Everybody gets caught. | ||
| I leave a Rolex. | ||
| You always leave your wife. | ||
| You leave loads all over the bed. | ||
| You pull out on purpose and shoot your load on a dark cushion. | ||
| The guy sits down and he looks at it. | ||
| He's like, this is a fucking load. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You've been The CIA has infiltrated our tent. | |
| No, they actually can come in a pattern that indicates they were there. | ||
| Like a wax seal? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
| They come on you, and then they let it slowly congeal, and then they put a seal on it. | ||
| They brand you. | ||
| I gotta use the bathroom. | ||
| Go use the bathroom, man. | ||
| Don't hold it in. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| Do you know where it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| In our powerful new Death Squad Studios. | ||
| So, Brian, do you know anything about this football case? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Duncan, where are you going, fella? | ||
| Over there. | ||
| You don't even know where you're going. | ||
| Fucking guy. | ||
| Gets lost in a room with two doors. | ||
| I know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he tried that already. | |
| Do you know anything about this football case? | ||
| No, we talked about it on one of the podcasts earlier, but it seems like one guy was caught up to 40 different people that he's fucked, like in showers and stuff. | ||
| And he was an assistant football coach, Sandusky, and apparently he's like a famous guy. | ||
| I don't know anything about the world of football, but I've heard the name Joe Paterno. | ||
| I've heard the name. | ||
| And then I guess Ashton Kusher came on Twitter and said something like, I can't believe they fired him or something like that, like he was defending the guy. | ||
| And then somebody said that now Ashton gave his Twitter account to... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Somebody else to do from now on because it's just too many feedback from what he said. | |
| So someone else is handling his Twitter account because he complained that they fired a guy who covered up a fucking assistant coach who was banging kids. | ||
| Let me tell you something, man. | ||
| If a guy's banging kids, you kind of know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| I don't think you don't know. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Especially 40 accusations. | |
| This guy's taking kids on the road with him, man. | ||
| He took kids on the road with him, put them up in hotels, bought them presents and shit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You know, and not only that, there was a story that the DA who was investigating the case disappeared in 2005. Yeah. | ||
| So, you know, they had to fire him, man. | ||
| This could be some crazy cover-up murder shit. | ||
| We don't even know what the fuck happened yet. | ||
| This guy was like a loved guy. | ||
| I mean, this is a huge, huge scandal. | ||
| Apparently, you know, I talked to people that were, what is it, Penn State? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, Penn State. | |
| The Nittany Lions? | ||
| Is that what they call themselves? | ||
| I don't even know, man. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
|
unidentified
|
People are like, you don't know shit about football, you fucking pussy! | |
| Yeah, here's the Sandusky. | ||
| Here's the missing guy. | ||
| The Sandusky guy. | ||
| Yeah, he's a missing DA, the district attorney. | ||
| He went missing in 2005. They fucking probably iced this guy, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know, when you're dealing with a case this big? | ||
| Apparently what happened was a grad student went into a shower, went back to retrieve something, and he heard noises in the shower that were like steady rhythmic slapping noises, went in and saw this guy fucking a 10-year-old boy in the ass in the shower. | ||
| And they also, investigators have... | ||
| Him on the phone with one of the boy's mothers, and the boy's mother asks him if he touched the boy in an inappropriate place, in an inappropriate manner. | ||
| And he goes, uh, maybe. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Maybe? | |
| He said maybe. | ||
| Yeah, I was like, yeah, um, I don't know, uh, maybe. | ||
| Maybe I did. | ||
| Maybe you did. | ||
| When you're that crazy, you're that pedo, they were protecting a pedo, man. | ||
| That's all this is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, because they don't want to ruin the football. | |
| Yeah, they were straight up protecting a pedo. | ||
| There's no question about it. | ||
| There's no question about it, man. | ||
| There's no way you can hide that darkness, man. | ||
| That's as dark as it gets. | ||
| You're fucking little boys and they're little assholes. | ||
| You're gonna hide that? | ||
| 10-year-old boys. | ||
| Not even a man, you know? | ||
| It's not like you're tricking men and you're banging poor straight men. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You're banging little boys. | ||
| You're a piece of shit, man. | ||
| You're the worst kind of demon. | ||
| Yeah, how does... | ||
| How is it possible that that guy can just be interacting with everyone else and they're not going to know? | ||
| Then no one's going to weird out. | ||
| You're all going on the road together, and now there's Mr. Sandusky with his fucking 10-year-old buddy. | ||
| You'd be like, what are you doing with this 10-year-old boy? | ||
| Is this your son? | ||
| If that was your son, that's one thing. | ||
| Well, he's close to his kid. | ||
| He likes to take his kid with him when he goes to football games. | ||
| Little boy loves football. | ||
| Yeah, okay, that's great. | ||
| That's a great dad. | ||
| But if you're a guy who's just taking some 10-year-old around with you and he's always got new presents and shit... | ||
| How does everybody not look at that? | ||
| How does everybody not go, what the fuck is going on with this guy? | ||
| There has to be some weird interaction between them. | ||
| There has to be something that treats you. | ||
| There has to be. | ||
| When a boy's getting fucked by some old man, you don't just sneak that through. | ||
| What's that 10-year-old boy? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| He's always near me. | ||
| Fucking weird kid. | ||
| No, but there's a, like, you know, in families, people have been molested. | ||
| It was like, they would pretend that it wasn't happening. | ||
| The family would kind of pretend it wasn't there, but they all know it's kind of there, but nobody wants to deal with it because it's so fucked up. | ||
| I know a girl who was molested by her uncle, and her family attacked her and her sister and her cousins, who were all molested by the same guy. | ||
| Her family all attacked them and said that they were all lying. | ||
| And they're like, whoa. | ||
| This guy molested them for years. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| For years, and nobody would believe it. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| What if the rest of the family all molested the uncle and that was like their little gimp and they're just trying to cover their gimp? | ||
| They're just evil 10 year old demons going after the uncles. | ||
| Have you read that book Lolita? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's really good. | ||
| I used to Google search Lolita a lot. | ||
| No, it's what gave birth to that term. | ||
| You know what's really bizarre, man? | ||
| The arbitrary age of 18 when one becomes legal. | ||
| Because there was a thread on the message board recently where some attractive young lass has just become 18. And there was a celebration. | ||
| So there's all these photos of this well-endowed little hooker. | ||
| I shouldn't call her hooker. | ||
| She's probably a nice girl. | ||
| Well-endowed little... | ||
| When I say hooker, I call my friends hookers. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll call Duncan a hooker. | ||
| I don't mean it in a bad way, just to clarify. | ||
| But this well-endowed nice young lady, and they're all talking about fucking the shit out of her. | ||
| And I'm like, man, that's dark. | ||
| She was just a little baby a couple of weeks ago. | ||
| A couple of weeks ago, she was 17. Now she's 18, and you guys all want to shove your rods inside of her. | ||
| That's dark, man. | ||
| Isn't it? | ||
| It's kind of dark. | ||
| There's something, but it's fucking totally legal. | ||
| One guy was like, I'd like to see her dirty cunt or something. | ||
| He was saying some really ruthless shit. | ||
| Dirty cunt? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I'll fuck the shit out of this dirty cunt. | ||
| Something along those lines. | ||
| And it made me laugh because it was ridiculous because it was so over the top. | ||
| But then I thought about it. | ||
| I'm like, it's kind of creepy that you can say this about an 18-year-old. | ||
| If you say that about a 16-year-old, you're a piece of shit, man. | ||
| What about states that are even younger, like 15 and stuff? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, oh, they're 14 before. | |
| That's crazy. | ||
| Yeah, well, you know, I don't think it's uniform all across the country. | ||
| I think Nevada, where that fucking dude, that 51-year-old dude got... | ||
| Courtney Stodden? | ||
| Yeah, married that girl. | ||
| Sam Tripoli's neighbor, you mean. | ||
| Sam Tripoli's neighbor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Shut up! | |
| We didn't even talk about it on Sam Tripoli's show. | ||
| We forgot to talk about it. | ||
| Wait, he's neighbors with Courtney Stodden? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| Well, we'll talk about it on tonight's podcast. | ||
| Wow. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| Oh, beautiful. | ||
| Yeah, we're going to do another podcast tonight, folks. | ||
| This is how fucking wild we are. | ||
| We're doing a podcast with Duncan. | ||
| Where's Duncan? | ||
| I can't talk. | ||
| We're doing a podcast with Duncan. | ||
| And then when we're done with this, we've got a show tonight, a sold-out show at the Ice House in Pasadena, stage two, the intimate venue. | ||
| And so we're going to do that afterwards, and we're all going to come back here and do podcasts in between our sets. | ||
| So this fucking new room is... | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| It's such a sweet setup. | ||
| It's at the Ice House. | ||
| So we're going to be doing a lot more podcasts from here. | ||
| But what were we just talking about? | ||
| We're talking about fucking Courtney Stott. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| She's Tripoli's neighbor, man. | ||
| We'll let Tripoli talk about it again tonight. | ||
| It's a teaser, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| We're giving you a teaser. | ||
| But in the meantime, before Tripoli comes on... | ||
| Immediately follow Courtney Stodden on Twitter. | ||
| Then let Tripoli fill in the rest of the puzzle. | ||
| Her Twitter's ridiculous. | ||
| And she's 16 going on 40. She looks like a 38-year-old lady who's taking care of herself. | ||
| Did you see her on Dr. Drew? | ||
| Dr. Drew had her on there just to see it because everyone says her boobs are fake. | ||
| So they had this doctor come in there and they made this whole episode with trying to figure out if it's... | ||
| Boobs are real. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And the doctors had a hard time like, I can't see through this muscle. | |
| It's ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| They really built it up even more. | ||
| But the whole time they're just feeling her tits. | ||
| That is so crazy. | ||
| They're feeling 16-year-old tits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seven Mexican guys. | |
| Dude, it sucks. | ||
| We're such a repressed culture. | ||
| We're such a sexually repressed culture that this kind of shit is what we fixate on. | ||
| This is what we fixate on. | ||
| This is a real thing like, oh yes, bring her in. | ||
| Bring in the slut so we can test her breasts. | ||
| Well, it's not like they don't like each other. | ||
| They obviously enjoy each other's company. | ||
| They hang around together. | ||
| You're not supposed to be banging a 16-year-old dude. | ||
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And check this out. | |
| I guess the photographer of a lot of her photos, her sexy photos, like where she's with her boyfriend or her husband or whatever, are actually taken by her mom. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Jesus. | |
| What the fuck, man? | ||
| Give her the scarlet letter! | ||
| Did you ever see there was like one of those 2020 type shows and it was all on this porn star whose parents support her work? | ||
| What was her name? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I'm trying to remember. | ||
| It's the one that the Bunny Ranch guy used to hang out with. | ||
| It's not Sonny, is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sonny Leone. | |
| Sonny Leone. | ||
| Sonny Leone? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sonny Leone. | |
| Is that it? | ||
| No, I don't think that is. | ||
| Isn't it her? | ||
| I think that's a different girl. | ||
| I think that's a different girl. | ||
| But don't you think it's really fucking weird? | ||
| That's a dark-haired girl, I think. | ||
| Don't you think it's really fucking weird? | ||
| And I think it's like... | ||
| Obviously completely fucked up to fuck people under 18. But in general, don't you think that outside of that, which I think is sociologically super fucked up and it clearly fucks people's lives up and people that do it should be thrown to alligators. | ||
| But in general, isn't it strange that for adults, sex, the terms used to describe sex, dirty, naughty, funny, It's like we attach to the act of bringing life into the universe or simulating bringing life into the universe. | ||
| We attach to that so many adjectives that are just like, it's disgusting, smut, filth. | ||
| That's what, when you look at porn, that's like the words they use to sell porn. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The dirtiest, smuttiest, filthiest whore is this side. | |
| It's like... | ||
| It's so strange that... | ||
| Well, it's obviously because in order to have an industrial revolution, in order to have the society that we currently enjoy, people have to work. | ||
| And if people were just dirty fucking all day, they would complicate shit. | ||
| Nothing would ever get done. | ||
| We have an ethic, and one of the ethics is you keep your fucking sexuality to yourself all day long. | ||
| It's very weird. | ||
| Mr. Herman Cain with your fucking unwanted massages. | ||
| Yeah, it's so fucking strange, man. | ||
| It's what you were telling me about how you were in Germany and you watched a gangbang on regular TV. They didn't show penetration, but this dude was banging this chick from behind. | ||
| Her tits were flopping around. | ||
| There was other people behind him. | ||
| It was almost like some softcore sort of thing. | ||
| But what you said about Hartman at the strip club, to me, that's like... | ||
| How it should be. | ||
| It should be joyful. | ||
| It converts... | ||
| It's the fact that it's not is an indication of how backwards and repressed we are. | ||
| By the way, filthy, dirty things are awesome. | ||
| I'm not saying that that doesn't add to the excitement of it, but it seems like in our culture it's so fucking Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne-style humiliation of people who really aren't doing anything that bad. | ||
| compared to what other people in the world are doing. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Like, it's a lot worse for, you know, we've probably talked about this. | ||
| Well, I think it's because we have the instinct to fuck more than is necessary. | ||
| We have the instinct to fuck like we needed to fuck 10,000 years ago when half the babies were eaten by crocodiles. | ||
| We have this drive. | ||
| As long as the man is alive, as long as the man is breathing healthy and... | ||
| Feeling robust. | ||
| They want to fuck. | ||
| They want to shoot loads into people and create more people. | ||
| And it's just the desire to breed. | ||
| That's all it is. | ||
| The desire to breed manifests itself in a code that runs your body. | ||
| And as long as that code runs your body, people are going to want to fuck. | ||
| And if that's going to be the case, there's no way you're going to get anything done. | ||
| Because people are just going to be trying to fuck each other all day. | ||
| Because that's what they want to do. | ||
| So you have to figure out a way to suppress them and control them and to calm them down. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Pedo bear. | |
| Pedo bear. | ||
| Seal of approval. | ||
| You know, to calm them down to the point where, you know, things get done. | ||
| So you have to tell them it's naughty, it's dirty, stop it! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Put it away! | |
| Put it away! | ||
| You gotta shame them. | ||
| It's the only way. | ||
| They feel bad about pulling it out. | ||
| Oh, I don't want a fucker, but I can't. | ||
| Oh, you go in the bathroom and think about that girl you're working with. | ||
| Because you have this massive suppression during the day of your natural instincts and feelings. | ||
| You can't even express them. | ||
| Didn't McKenna talk about some primordial world where there were mushroom orgies? | ||
| It was like these people having mushrooms. | ||
| His utopian view of the past was that there was, at one point in time, society had engaged in almost daily mushroom use. | ||
| And that's what had elevated us from the lower hominids. | ||
| And that was... | ||
| The whole stoned ape theory. | ||
| He believes that psychedelic mushrooms and the eating of them was responsible for the doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years. | ||
| Huge, huge mystery in the fossil record. | ||
| So he had a lot of really nutty theories like that, but they're very interesting to consider, but I don't know. | ||
| Have you ever been in an orgy? | ||
| No, no, never been in an orgy. | ||
| Have you ever been in an orgy, Brian? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just two girls. | |
| I've never been in an orgy. | ||
| Hello, Columbus, Ohio. | ||
| I know people who've been to orgies. | ||
| I was at a party that... | ||
| I know a girl worked at a place where they would have orgies. | ||
| She worked as a cocktail waitress at this place where they would go, people would go, and then they would just start fucking. | ||
| They would just meet up and go into rooms and fuck. | ||
| And everywhere she went, she's like, people were just fucking everywhere you went. | ||
| You got there, and they weren't pretty. | ||
| They weren't good-looking people, but they were just, all of them, like naked, half-naked. | ||
| Some were dressed. | ||
| Some didn't participate. | ||
| They just watched. | ||
| And there was like a club in L.A. People would go and just fuck. | ||
| Yeah, it was crazy. | ||
| She was like laughing at it. | ||
| She's like, it is the weirdest job. | ||
| She goes, after a couple hours, I got used to the fact that people were just all around me fucking all the time. | ||
| Nobody bothered me. | ||
| She's like, that's the one thing that happens, you know, when everyone else is fucking and someone wants to serve you drinks, you barely even concentrate on that person. | ||
| You're like, yeah, yeah, here's your money. | ||
| Thank you. | ||
| Bye. | ||
| I want to go fuck somebody who wants to fuck me. | ||
| So it was like much safer, actually, than working at a bar where you were looked at. | ||
| It's like, oh, look at this girl. | ||
| Come with my drink. | ||
| Yeah, baby. | ||
| What are you going after? | ||
| What are you doing later? | ||
| Won't you live with me? | ||
| You know, those guys didn't even look at her. | ||
| Because there's all these people that were fucking in front of them. | ||
| Everyone was sucking cock, and everyone, you could bang anybody. | ||
| You know? | ||
| So there's probably a few contrarians that, like, turn their gaze towards her. | ||
| Like, fuck all these people that are banging each other. | ||
| What about this girl? | ||
| How does she feel about this? | ||
| You're always going to have that one... | ||
| The one girl who doesn't want to fuck at the horgy is who you fall in love with. | ||
| Well, there's some dudes that are just broken. | ||
| There's some dudes that are broken. | ||
| They always go for the girl that's going to just be damaged goods and always going to need to be with the person who can't be with them. | ||
| Yeah, it's always the case. | ||
| We need the grand distraction. | ||
| The grand distraction of relationships. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Imagine when you were young. | ||
| Remember? | ||
| When you were young, rather. | ||
| Imagine if you felt like that now. | ||
| Like when you were young and you'd break up, you really would think like, God, this is the end. | ||
| I can never be happy in a relationship ever again. | ||
| You used to believe that. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| You know, when you're like 14. How many songs are about that? | ||
| There's countless songs that that's the main message is that it's over. | ||
| Are the songs like Begging for One More Night? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| One more night. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Give me just one more night. | |
| It's so sad. | ||
| It's so gross. | ||
| Fuck me one more time, please. | ||
| It's so beta. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's so basic. | ||
| Don't you got a Rolodex, homie? | ||
| Don't you got other girls you can call? | ||
| This is some Planet of the Apes shit, son. | ||
| Let me just give you a little heads up. | ||
| You need to go to the gym and do some squats. | ||
| Eat some bison meat and get your shit together, son. | ||
| Bison meat. | ||
| Stop doing that, Brian. | ||
| Get some strong game in your system. | ||
| Something that's been murdered, that lived a free life. | ||
| A wild life. | ||
| And then you shoot it with a fucking bow and arrow. | ||
| And then you take that thing and cut it up and eat it. | ||
| That's what you need to do. | ||
| And squats. | ||
| And carry logs up hills. | ||
| That's what you need to do. | ||
| What you don't need to do? | ||
| Give me just one more night. | ||
| Yeah, that's what girls go wet for. | ||
| Begging. | ||
| Girls don't go wet for begging. | ||
| Just gotta keep them around. | ||
| Be nice to them. | ||
| Fuck the shit out of them. | ||
| The end. | ||
| If they leave, they leave. | ||
| You go, hey, you know, I did my best. | ||
| I was nice to you. | ||
| I fucked the shit out of you. | ||
| Obviously, you got issues. | ||
| What about this one? | ||
| Remember this one? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Met my old lover at the grocery store. | |
| I don't even know what that is. | ||
| What the hell is that? | ||
| These songs are burnt into my mind. | ||
| Have you ever heard that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| Can you imagine if that wasn't even a real song? | ||
| But it was like a song that occurs in his dream world. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's Dan Fogelberg. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| These are divorce songs. | ||
| Dan Fogelberg. | ||
| There was a divorce boom. | ||
| And during this divorce boom, this specific genre of music came out. | ||
| And I know it very well, because that's what my mom would listen to. | ||
| She'd come and pick me up at the Y and I would sit in the backseat of her car as she listened to like turn around bright eyes That's a divorce song. | ||
| Oh, she would she would get you know It was very like dramatic and those songs are burnt into my mind and one of them was that Dan Fogelberg Oh Oh my god. | ||
| Here's my experience with Dan Fogelberg. | ||
| When I was growing up, I lived in San Francisco when I was about, from 7 to 11. And we had a next door neighbor, this cool guy named Barry. | ||
| And he was my stepdad's buddy. | ||
| And we would go over his place and listen to his records. | ||
| And they had some badass records. | ||
| This was San Francisco in the 70s, man. | ||
| He had the Monkees and all this shit. | ||
| I just loved the fact that you could put a headphone on and it pushed into the jack and you'd play a record and it was like, you know, it was in your head and I'd be singing along. | ||
| They'd have to tell me to shut up, stop singing. | ||
| You'd sing terrible. | ||
| But I remember thinking like, wow, you know, my parents listened to some cool ass fucking music. | ||
| You know, there's some cool music. | ||
| Like I listened to some Billy Joel. | ||
| You know, I remember listening to Captain Jack when I was like seven years old. | ||
| What a Great fucking song this is! | ||
| Goddamn! | ||
| And then we had a friend and I was over at his house and I asked him if I could listen to his music. | ||
| And he said, yeah. | ||
| And he had a Dan Fogelberg record. | ||
| And I put that shit on and I was like, why does this guy want to depress me like this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why is this guy singing this? | |
| What is he saying? | ||
| You're making me cry, man. | ||
| I'm fucking seven years old. | ||
| You're bumming me out. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Or whoever I was when I listened to that. | ||
| But I was like, this is just nonsense music. | ||
| Oh, it is. | ||
| This poor guy. | ||
| Somebody needs to tell him. | ||
| But then, you know, the thing is, this is where people get confused. | ||
| That one guy, James Taylor, did it right. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And that's why everybody gets fucked up. | ||
| Because he had songs that were like super emotional and everything, but they had such a point of view that they were special. | ||
| There was something to the shit that he was singing. | ||
| So even though it seemed like it was kind of mushy, but in fact it wasn't. | ||
| What it was was just vulnerable and honest, and there's like a strength in that. | ||
| Yeah, totally. | ||
| You know? | ||
| And so these other motherfuckers with their beta music... | ||
| Whenever you hear in a song, make it through the night, that was something that still confuses me. | ||
| What does that mean? | ||
| We can make it through the night. | ||
| How do you not make it through the night from fucking? | ||
| You're not going to die fucking. | ||
| What's the worry when people sing making it through the night? | ||
| What is it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Making out through the night. | |
| No, it's always sad when they're singing it, like they're going to war or something. | ||
| They don't mean make it, they mean like going through trenches or like not having a nervous breakdown that night or something. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or if they're fighting. | |
| What it is is when you listen to certain songs and you hear people getting all emotional and you don't feel like it's valid. | ||
| It's like you're being too much of a pussy in this song. | ||
| Like you're being too much of a pussy with your expression. | ||
| I could go along with you here. | ||
| I could get caught up in the wave and go with you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| But I don't feel like it's necessary. | ||
| I don't feel like it warrants it. | ||
| Then you listen to James Taylor and you hear like, Just yesterday morning, they made me know you were gone. | ||
| You know that song? | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| That's a depressing fucking song. | ||
| I've seen fire and I've seen rain. | ||
| I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. | ||
| Or Elliot Smith. | ||
| You listen to Elliot Smith, same thing. | ||
| He would not like Elliot Smith. | ||
| Rogan? | ||
| Rogan, I don't think, would like Elliot Smith at all. | ||
| Yeah, I listened to some of his stuff. | ||
| I wanted to kick him in the balls. | ||
| I fucking love him. | ||
| I was like, kid, you need to get out of the house. | ||
| Stop playing video games. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I only listened to one song because Duncan told me how great the guy was. | ||
| I love him. | ||
| There's a lot of shit that I love that I'm sure you don't love. | ||
| Elliot Smith. | ||
| Do you ever listen to Kiss alone in your car and sing along? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| Black Keys all the way. | ||
| I've been listening to a lot of Black Keys. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| They're great. | ||
| I went on a period for like four months, but that's all I listened to. | ||
| I would go in my car and I got the iPod thing in the car and I would just go right to Black Keys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| You know what I've been listening to lately? | ||
| What? | ||
| You'll make fun of me. | ||
| Spongle. | ||
| You ever listen to Spongle? | ||
| Somebody did a Spongle thing where they took their music and they combined it with me talking about DMT. That's cool. | ||
| Yeah, it's pretty dope. | ||
| His songs are trippy, man. | ||
| One of the songs I was just listening to today, he's good to listen to and write. | ||
| I like writing and listening to him. | ||
| One of the songs I was hearing today... | ||
| The lyrics are like, LSD, DMT. It's like, have you heard that song? | ||
| It's really weird. | ||
| I mean, I can't even sing it because you have to have like seven synthesizers and a UFO just to make whatever fucking noises are coming out of Spongle. | ||
| You have to have a UFO. Yeah, that's like rave music, right? | ||
| Is that what you would consider rave music? | ||
| It's kind of like ambient rave music or something. | ||
| But yeah, it doesn't have as much of a driving beat. | ||
| It's just more like super trippy. | ||
| The guy really did capture something and brought it back through music. | ||
| He's really good, man. | ||
| Yeah, it's really good. | ||
| I've listened to some of that stuff that's not so focused, not so tuned in. | ||
| It's really kind of gross. | ||
| It can't get gross. | ||
| It's like everything else, man. | ||
| It's like mushy songs. | ||
| It's like what we just talked about, James Taylor. | ||
| He's not mushy. | ||
| He's genuine. | ||
| People get really offended by non-genuine behavior. | ||
| There's some huge push to get Nickelback removed from... | ||
| What is it, a hockey game? | ||
| Is it hockey, the Nickelback thing? | ||
| I can't remember. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think so. | |
| It might be football. | ||
| I saw this thing on Reddit, and maybe I'm not remembering it right, but it said if you ever want to hide files on your computer, create a folder that says Nickelback. | ||
| Oh my god, that's hilarious. | ||
| I met that dude very briefly, the lead singer guy in a venue once where UFC was going to be there on Saturday and he was there on Friday. | ||
| He's a very nice guy. | ||
| As Lions Thanksgiving game protests for Nickelback. | ||
| They got some good songs, man. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| They're slick. | ||
| They're overproduced, it seems like. | ||
| You know, almost people like them because they're too good a pop song. | ||
| You know, and sometimes they're like, you know, it's almost too cliche. | ||
| But they're good. | ||
| I Wanna Be a Rockstar song? | ||
| There's been a million of those. | ||
| The Cypress Hill version. | ||
| So you wanna be a rockstar? | ||
| That's the best one. | ||
| I don't even know that song. | ||
| I gotta admit, man, I've got very, very limited... | ||
| Yeah, I can't. | ||
| The Cypress Hill version is badass. | ||
| I like Cypress Hill. | ||
| That's a badass rock star song. | ||
| But the Nickelback one is not bad, man. | ||
| It's not a bad song. | ||
| You've never heard that song, I Wanna Be A Rock Style? | ||
| I hate Nickelback, I'm sorry. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Well, I don't hate Nickelback, okay? | ||
| I don't particularly look forward to listening to them, but they've got some good songs. | ||
| They're not that offensive. | ||
| It's like his voice or the style of their music, just like chalk. | ||
| It seems like people feel like it's not honest or something. | ||
| I think I've seen a Nickelback video and it was very affected and it was very hard to watch because it was sappy and super cheesy. | ||
| I don't have a strong opinion about them. | ||
| They also seem like, you know, there's certain bands, like remember when New Kids on the Block came out, and it was like kind of hip to not like New Kids on the Block? | ||
| Right, yes. | ||
| It's like they're kind of like that, where it's a mark of, it's like a fashion to not like them or something. | ||
| Yeah, they've got some good stripper songs. | ||
| I've never listened to that, I don't know. | ||
| I've only listened to that one video. | ||
| How could it be worse than some of Foreigner's songs? | ||
| I've been waiting for a girl like you. | ||
| I've been waiting for a girl like you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like that song. | |
| It's a good song, but come on, man. | ||
| How are any Nickelback songs any less sappy than that? | ||
| I believe that guy. | ||
| I don't believe this Nickelback guy. | ||
| I think this guy is just like, oh, man. | ||
| He's insincere. | ||
| So you think it's just packaged, pre-produced? | ||
| Let's go get some Froyo later. | ||
| Thought out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Too calculated, is that what it is? | |
| I think radio killed Nickelback for me. | ||
| I blame radio for that. | ||
| It's interesting with this subject because we talked about a real band. | ||
| I mean, as real and scratchy as you can get, the Black Keys. | ||
| They're like scratchy. | ||
| They're almost like, even though it's an mp3, you can hear the record. | ||
| Those guys are like, that's a band, man. | ||
| There's a band playing instruments and singing, and these are some songs they wrote. | ||
| And this is the sounds they like. | ||
| And if you're drinking whiskey and playing pool, that's the fucking song you want to hear. | ||
| You want to hear that shit in the background. | ||
| That's real music, man. | ||
| And then... | ||
| You got, you know, other stuff like Nickelback. | ||
| That's like, this is sort of a different thing. | ||
| It's like they just got it honed down to like the slickly packaged sort of kind of cliche in its intent, but very well done. | ||
| Like you can't criticize any aspects of it. | ||
| It's very well done. | ||
| The voice is strong and the singing, the guitar is good. | ||
| But somehow or another, for some people, they get upset by it. | ||
| Well, some people, it's really weird, man. | ||
| Some people just, the rubber ain't touching the road when it comes to what they're making. | ||
| They're just, they're purely imitative. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Some people have like plugged into the fucking magma and they're vomiting out this thing. | ||
| They're like, they've become a channel to something and it's undeniable when you hear it. | ||
| Even if you don't like it, you can still tell. | ||
| This is definitely real. | ||
| Most of the time you can still tell. | ||
| This is real. | ||
| This is something super unique and special. | ||
| To me, it's funny when you see imitators. | ||
| It's funny because you can't fake it. | ||
| It's one thing you can't fucking fake. | ||
| It's like what Joey Diaz says. | ||
| I don't know if he still says it. | ||
| He says it all the time. | ||
| Holograms! | ||
| You ever heard him say that? | ||
| Holograms! | ||
| Yeah, he says that about people that are fake. | ||
| He's a fucking hologram. | ||
| Yeah, it's interesting. | ||
| Yeah, you can't really fake it. | ||
| But with some artists, they really plug into it. | ||
| Like, that fucking kid I was telling you about. | ||
| Yes, the 12-year-old kid. | ||
| Yeah, 9 or 12. I think he's not. | ||
| Well, I think he's 12 now. | ||
| Yeah, well, I think it's all going through the internet. | ||
| Apparently, there was a big piece on him from 2006, and now he's been studying in Europe this whole time. | ||
| But yeah, you told me about him, and then after you told me about him, it was all over Twitter, all over my message board. | ||
| There was a couple different threads about it. | ||
| It's a meme. | ||
| You know about this kid? | ||
| You saw this thing with this kid? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He's a super genius kid. | ||
| He's a super genius musician. | ||
| He's like the greatest musician to come along in 200 years. | ||
| Oh, is that movie based off of him? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| This is a new kid. | ||
| A new kid. | ||
| Tell him what he does. | ||
| This is crazy. | ||
| One of this segment I saw, I'm sure if you YouTube this kid you can find it right away, but he's with his piano teacher and he takes the music and he flips it backwards and upside down and he can play it backwards. | ||
| He can play music backwards and upside down. | ||
| And she was like, I don't see how anyone can do this. | ||
| He's composed like five symphonies and they say that most people don't do that or do that in their lifetime. | ||
| Wrap your head around that. | ||
| Wrap your head around that kid. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Is it a mild form of autism? | ||
| It's from the Matrix. | ||
| That's not him, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
How does he do that? | |
| Look at the skill involved! | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| We're looking at a little boy who's literally not looking at the keyboard. | ||
| It's amazing! | ||
| He has his back to the piano. | ||
| Listen to the music! | ||
| He's a prodigy. | ||
| What if we get so dumb that this is what is considered a super genius? | ||
| It's a super chimp. | ||
| Imagine if you had a chimp that could do that. | ||
| Not only can my chimp do this. | ||
| Joe, did you hear a chimp? | ||
| Why don't you find that video? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I'm trying to do. | |
| What would you think the title would be? | ||
| The problem is I can't remember his name. | ||
| So you'd have to look up like 12-year-old super genius musician. | ||
| Yeah, and he pretty much says what all super genius guys say is that it just comes to them. | ||
| He says he hears it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He just hears it and he writes down what he hears. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| How the fuck can he do it backwards? | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| That's just showing off the little fuck. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know the problem? | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| I don't know if this is him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What is it? | |
| That's not him. | ||
| That's actually... | ||
| No, that's not him, Brian. | ||
| Did you put butthole in the search? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Hey. | |
| He puts butthole in a search. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I don't understand. | ||
| It seems like that'd waste time. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's Brian. | ||
| All his Google searches, he adds butthole to it. | ||
| That's definitely not him, Brian. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| Find it. | ||
| Find it, Brian. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was listed under an amazing 10-year-old piano prodigy. | |
| 12-year-old super genius musician. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's not coming out. | |
| Just composed... | ||
| How many... | ||
| What did he do? | ||
| Five symphonies? | ||
| Right. | ||
| 12-year-old composed five symphonies. | ||
| Put that in Google and you'll find it. | ||
| Someone will tweet to us. | ||
| Yeah, they probably already have. | ||
| But if you just google 12-year-old composed five symphonies, for sure, you'll find that guy. | ||
| You got it? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| See? | ||
| There he is. | ||
| That's him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's him. | |
| Blue Jay. | ||
|
unidentified
|
...renowned Juilliard School, who some say is the greatest talent to come along in 200 years. | |
| Whoa. | ||
| He's written five golden symphonies. | ||
| 200 years. | ||
| Imagine I'm saying that about you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Listen to this. | |
| No, I can't. | ||
| Twelve. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, shit. | |
| What happened? | ||
| Just the commercial? | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's a composer studying at New York's renowned Juilliard School who some say is the greatest talent to come along in two years. | |
| Sam Zeman is a composer. | ||
| He teaches music theory to Jay at Juilliard in New York City where he's been teaching for 17 years. | ||
| This is an absolute fact. | ||
| This is objective. | ||
| This is not a subjective opinion. | ||
| Jay could be sitting right here And he could be composing right now. | ||
| He could finish a piano sonata before our very eyes in probably 25 minutes. | ||
| And it would be a great piece. | ||
| How's that possible? | ||
| Well, Jay told us he doesn't know where the music comes from, but it comes fully written, playing like an orchestra in his head. | ||
| As you hear it playing, can you change it as it goes along? | ||
| Can you say to yourself, oh, let's bring the oboes in here, or let's bring the string section here? | ||
| No, they seem to come in by themselves if they need to. | ||
| It's not something you're trying to do. | ||
| Yeah, because it's like the unconscious mind is giving orders at the speed of light. | ||
| You know, I mean, so I just hear it as if it were a smooth performance of a work already written, when it isn't. | ||
| It's involuntary. | ||
| I suppose so, yeah. | ||
| Like the beating of the heart. | ||
| You don't have to think about it. | ||
| It seems all the kids are downloading music these days. | ||
| It's just that Jay, with his composing program, is downloading it from his mind. | ||
| The program records his notes and plays them back. | ||
| That is, when the computer's up and running, Jay composes so rapidly that he often crashes the computer. | ||
| It is as if he's looking at a picture of the score. | ||
| It's a better computer. | ||
| Get him a better computer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's a prodigy. | |
| Get him a MacBook. | ||
| Jay's parents are as surprised as anyone. | ||
| Neither is a professional musician. | ||
| His father, Robert, is a linguist, a scholar in Slavic language who lost his sight at the age of 36 to retinitis pigmentosa. | ||
| His mother, Orna, is an Israeli-born painter. | ||
| That's Michael, Jay's eight-year-old brother. | ||
| He's not a musical prodigy. | ||
| But Robert and Orno remember when they figured out that Jay was. | ||
| I think around, uh, two... | ||
| Is that one of the Penn State kids? | ||
| ...when he started writing... | ||
| Whoa, look at that! | ||
|
unidentified
|
...and actually drawing instruments. | |
| We knew that he was fascinated with it. | ||
| Started writing? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| At the age of two? | ||
| Yes, I'm afraid so. | ||
| Look at that! | ||
| Did you see what he wrote at two? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's crazy. | |
| He managed to draw a cello and ask for a cello and wrote the word cello. | ||
| And I was surprised because neither of us have anything to do with string instruments. | ||
| And I didn't expect him to know what it was. | ||
| What a cello was? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You didn't have a cello in the house? | ||
| No, we had no cello in the house. | ||
| Had he seen a cello? | ||
| Nope. | ||
| But he knew he wanted one, so his mother brought him to a music store where he was shown a miniature cello. | ||
| And he just sat there, he put the cello, and he started playing on it. | ||
| And I was like, how do you know how to do this? | ||
| By age three, Jay was still drawing cellos, but he had turned them into notes on a scale he was beginning to compose. | ||
| Jay's parents watched the notes come faster and faster. | ||
| He was writing anytime, anywhere. | ||
| By elementary school, his teachers had no idea how to handle a boy whose hero wasn't Batman, but Beethoven. | ||
| He hears music in his head all the time. | ||
| Jay has been told his hearing is many times more sensitive than an average person's. | ||
| The sound of the city has to be shut out manually. | ||
| But Jay can't turn off the music in his head. | ||
| In fact, he told us he often hears more than one new composition at a time. | ||
| Multiple channels is what it's been termed. | ||
| Multiple channels. | ||
| That my brain is able to Control two or three different musics at the same time. | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Along with the channel of everyday life and everything else. | ||
| Jay channeled this piece when he was eight. | ||
| By the age of ten, Jay was going to Juilliard, among the world's top conservatories of music, on a full scholarship. | ||
| If you consider imitation, an actual concrete object... | ||
| At age 11, he was studying music theory... | ||
| Imagine if that was your kid. | ||
| You're like, I'm a fucking idiot. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Jay also teaches high school courses at another school, which his parents say he'll complete when he's 14. Complete when he's 14. As written, okay? | |
| Elizabeth Wolff is a well-known concert pianist who works with Jay on his piano technique. | ||
| One, two, four, one, two, one more. | ||
| Today, Jay brought one of his own works to practice. | ||
| Jay, you need this... | ||
| No choice, right? | ||
| Jay writes things that he can't even play. | ||
| Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| His hands can't keep up. | ||
| Is it a cannon? | ||
| It's a fugue. | ||
| Jay wants to perfect his piano playing, although he says he doesn't need the piano or any instrument to compose. | ||
| When you first hear this tune start to rise in your head, what happens? | ||
| Well, at first I just listen to it, and then I start humming it, and then when walking, I like walking a lot when I'm inspired. | ||
| Because then I walk to the beat of the music. | ||
| This is so bizarre. | ||
|
unidentified
|
For example, if the beat is... | |
| And I start walking. | ||
| And often I start conducting as well. | ||
| Imagine seeing that walking down the street. | ||
| Jay's not a usual 12-year-old, and he knows it. | ||
| What happens when Jay gets bored? | ||
| When he gets bored, he gets restless, and then he starts improvising. | ||
| Last week, he took the Beethoven sonata of the working right now and decided that everything would be kind of interesting upside down and backwards. | ||
| So he took the volume and literally did just that. | ||
| He can do it for you right now. | ||
| And I couldn't even follow, but he actually took the clefs and inverted them. | ||
| the trouble became bass, bass became trouble, and did it backwards. | ||
| Telling that composers might write five or six symphonies in a lifetime. | ||
| Jay's written five at the age of 12. Hi Jay. | ||
| Nice to meet you. | ||
| You too. | ||
| Welcome. | ||
| Here, Jay's explaining the storm to conductor Young Ho Pak at the rehearsal. | ||
| That's cool, man. | ||
| What a strange thing to be fucking awesome at. | ||
| Music that's kind of like outdated. | ||
| But he got lucky, man. | ||
| He got born into a great family. | ||
| What if you get that dude, they should co-opt him and get that dude to make some jamming pop tunes. | ||
| I was thinking. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Listen, dude, this is a dead fucking song. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Nobody listens to the cello anymore, bro. | ||
| I don't want to hear the cello. | ||
| Come on, man. | ||
| You want to make some money? | ||
| You want to be a rock star? | ||
| You want to live like Nickelback? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| At least get him a MacBook Pro. | ||
| Yeah, the shit is crashing, man. | ||
| He's got that whack-ass old laptop. | ||
| He's still running on Mac OS 9. Yeah, that's a shit computer if it can't even run a composing program. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, what was that? | |
| It's like pushing a button on the keyboard. | ||
| It's a goddamn genius. | ||
| Fess up. | ||
| Come up with the shekels. | ||
| But if that kid had been born in the wrong family, you know where he's drawing notes... | ||
| Quit drawing that shit. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| Gay language? | ||
| Get this fucking kid out of here. | ||
| What do you think is going on with that kid? | ||
| Do you think that's like an Asperger's, an autism thing? | ||
| Seems like it. | ||
| Reincarnation, I think. | ||
| Especially with those weird markings on his head. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He looks like he was shot right above the eyebrow. | |
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Do you think that that happens when a baby's born and it's been reincarnated? | ||
| You see like the wounds that killed it? | ||
| People think that. | ||
| Do they really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I have a mark right on the back of my neck like I was executed. | ||
| Whoa. | ||
| By those damn Germans. | ||
| Do you have any marks, Joe? | ||
| Mark of the Beast. | ||
| I know that, but do you have any reincarnation marks? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It's not my asshole. | ||
| Duncan, I think we've got to end this because you've got to get out of here. | ||
| It fucking sucks. | ||
| I don't want to leave. | ||
| I've got to go, though. | ||
| Well, where have you got to go? | ||
| What are you doing that's more important than us? | ||
| I'm going to dinner with my girlfriend. | ||
| Oh, snap, son. | ||
| Out of the garden? | ||
| How dare you? | ||
| The one fucking day there was no Olive Garden reference, this cunt. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, it's cheap. | |
| Seriously, how many podcasts do you think you've said Olive Garden in? | ||
| I know you do. | ||
| I know they do. | ||
| But when you think about it, like over the year, two years, almost two years we've been doing this podcast, when did you start doing it? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I've always said Olive Garden in normal conversation for some reason. | |
| Yeah, I know you have, but in the podcast, somewhere along the line, you made a point of saying it all the time. | ||
| I think it was just recent that I actually made it a point. | ||
| Before, anytime I wanted to use a generic restaurant name, I would say Olive Garden. | ||
| No one I know will keep a joke going longer than this fuck. | ||
| Great. | ||
| The bah face? | ||
| The bah face. | ||
| Brian and I went on the road for fucking years doing clubs, okay? | ||
| And Brian would make these cool videos of the clubs and everything. | ||
| And one of the things he would do is every time I took a picture with fans, every time, Brian would get in the background and go... | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| I've seen him do it. | ||
| There's thousands of those pictures. | ||
| And my favorite is when I find it on like a website. | ||
| There's girls with corpses. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know if you've ever seen that website. | |
| But then you're just looking through it and it's like, oh look, Joe Rogan. | ||
| And you see me in the background making a face. | ||
| Yeah, dude. | ||
| I boffaced a picture of Eddie Bravo and David Lee Roth. | ||
| Eddie Bravo is taking a picture of David Lee Roth and I'm in the background. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That's the bah face. | ||
| It easily did that 10,000 times. | ||
| That's not an exaggeration. | ||
| It sounds ridiculous. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I see new ones all the time. | |
| Yeah, they're out there. | ||
| The days of MySpace, they were easy to find. | ||
| Sometimes I saw them in people's avatars. | ||
| The guy that's making those cases, those hemp bags, on his website, he has... | ||
| Datsura? | ||
| Yeah, he has you on your website. | ||
| And you have the Bob Face? | ||
| Nice. | ||
| Those bags are cool. | ||
| Yeah, those hemp bags are great. | ||
| Datsura, what is the website? | ||
| Datsura, I don't know the website. | ||
| DSgear.com, I think, something like that. | ||
| Yeah, I think that's it. | ||
| But that is them on Twitter, right? | ||
| Twitter or DSgear. | ||
| It's all hemp bags, and he's a jiu-jitsu student. | ||
| Yeah, it's really cool. | ||
| Anyway, tonight is sold out. | ||
| Sorry. | ||
| Tomorrow night is sold out too. | ||
| The Ice House is sold out. | ||
| And next week, San Jose, that's sold out too. | ||
| Sorry, bitches. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop doing that. | |
| Can I say a club I'm doing up there? | ||
| November 18th, I'm going to be at Club Verde with Neil Hamburger, Tim Heidecker, Mark Proch, and Natasha Leggero. | ||
| And that's in San Francisco. | ||
| That's in San Francisco. | ||
| What's it called again? | ||
| It's Club Verde. | ||
| You can go to verdeclub.net and get all the info. | ||
| It's going to be a good show. | ||
| Dude, that's a great show. | ||
| San Francisco's awesome. | ||
| One of the fucking best places. | ||
| Even though I'm going to be in San Jose next week, not San Francisco, still. | ||
| I'm psyched. | ||
| Northern California's awesome. | ||
| There's still more Asians there than any place else. | ||
| There is. | ||
| It's real weird. | ||
| San Francisco's real strange. | ||
| It's weird how many Asians there are. | ||
| We went to the San Francisco Museum once and they kind of explained it all. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's where Hello Kitty is bred. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, that's not where Hello Kitty is bred. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| He can't help it. | ||
| He can't help it. | ||
| Look at him. | ||
| How can you be mad at him and you're not mad at a dog? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| So we will see you guys tonight at the Ice House. | ||
| We're going to come back. | ||
| We're going to do another podcast with everybody that's here tonight, including Joey Diaz. | ||
| Is Al coming on? | ||
| Al Magical? | ||
| Al might stop by, but Felicia Michaels, Joey Diaz, Christina Pazinski. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So it should be a lot of fun. | ||
| And we're set up for five microphones here? | ||
| Four or five? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Four. | |
| And there's the Joey Diaz couch over there. | ||
| Yeah, where this place is set up. | ||
| This new studio is the fucking bomb diggity. | ||
| So we're going to do a lot of these here. | ||
| And that's it, my friends. | ||
| Thank you very much to The Fleshlight. | ||
| And if you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off. | ||
| Number one sex toy for me. | ||
| Shazam! | ||
| Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of AlphaBrain, New Mood. | ||
| New Mood is a 5-HTP supplement. | ||
| It's 5-HTP and a bunch of other stuff, including L-tryptophan, which I believe converts to 5-HTP, which eventually converts to serotonin, and the idea is that it's like a time-release sort of effect. | ||
| I've been digging that, too. | ||
| I've been trying that. | ||
| I like 5-HTP. Something Neil Brennan told me about. | ||
| You ever try it? | ||
| Yeah, I did. | ||
| I took it once. | ||
| It makes you feel good. | ||
| Yeah, it's nice. | ||
| It makes you feel good. | ||
| I feel kind of nice. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It makes you feel like... | ||
| He said it actually makes him more creative. | ||
| Sam E. It's in the stuff called Sam E, right? | ||
| I think that's where I took it. | ||
| Anyway, whatever. | ||
| Anyway, AlphaBrain. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for AlphaBrain, enter in the code name Rogan, and you will get 10% off that. | ||
| And try that new mood shit as well. | ||
| And... | ||
| That is it, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| We will be back next week. | ||
| We got a bunch of different crazy motherfuckers coming in next week. | ||
| No one's tied down yet, but there's some interesting ones, really interesting ones. | ||
| So, that's it. | ||
| And... | ||
| Joey Diaz and Eddie Bravo and I are talking about doing regular MMA podcasts. | ||
| And we might as well do them here because there's more room and Joey can scream and shout. | ||
| But the idea is people keep saying, like, why don't you guys talk about MMA? Why don't you talk about MMA? Because a lot of times it's just me talking, you know? | ||
| It's like, you know, if it's with you guys, I'm talking MMA with you guys. | ||
| I mean, Duncan, you saw the fights in England, but... | ||
| You know, I mean, how much do you want to talk about it? | ||
| Oh, that one guy kicked that one guy. | ||
| That was awesome. | ||
| I wouldn't mind talking about some of the musical choices people come in on. | ||
| Well, that's another podcast. | ||
| Yeah, there's a cool video of Chris Lieben coming out to that Mad Bad World song. | ||
| And the audience is singing along to it. | ||
| It's really cool, man. | ||
| And I didn't realize it was happening while I was doing the commentary because we're talking and the music's playing really loud. | ||
| We can't see it. | ||
| But this video is pretty dope. | ||
| It's like Chris Lieben's coming out, you know, and everyone's singing along to it. | ||
| And it's really kind of chilling. | ||
| It's really kind of catchy. | ||
| Anyway, thank you, everybody, for everything you do. | ||
| Thanks for being a part of this. | ||
| Without you guys, we wouldn't be doing this. | ||
| Thank you for all the cool Twitter messages, all the cool message board posts, everything. | ||
| As much as this serves you guys, it serves us as well. | ||
| This is the most fun shit we get to do. | ||
| And the fact that you guys all dig it makes it much, much better. | ||
| We appreciate the fuck out of it, and we're committed to keeping this podcast free. | ||
| So free to you, always. | ||
| Thank you very much for everybody, and we'll see you bitches soon. | ||
| Bye. | ||
| And we know you love you. | ||
| We love you. | ||
| We know we love you. |
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