Oct. 17, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:26:17
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. | ||
| And you can make a decision to save money and shoot loads into plastic vaginas. | ||
| You can also... | ||
| You can also go to... | ||
| Oh, we're also sponsored by... | ||
| Alphabrain at onnitlabs, O-N-N-I-T dot com. | ||
| So if you go to onnit.com and enter in the code name ROGAN, you save 10% off of that. | ||
| Duncan Trussell, you on the Alphabrain? | ||
| Oh, not anymore. | ||
| They're gone. | ||
|
unidentified
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I'm out. | |
| Oh, I got more for you, baby. | ||
| Hit the drums. | ||
| Duncan's here. | ||
| Let the party begin. | ||
| Release the hounds. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The Joe Rogan Experience. | |
| Kermit Cain, explain yourself. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, baby. | |
| the That was a quick fade there. | ||
| What are you doing there, fella? | ||
| Scared me. | ||
| Scared me with your tricky work on the sound. | ||
| Duncan Trestle's here, folks. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| And whenever Duncan Trestle's here, shit gets weird. | ||
| That's your realm, bro. | ||
| You're the king of weird shit. | ||
| Speaking of weird shit, it's odd that they call the Fleshlight a sex toy. | ||
| Toy is the wrong word for what that is. | ||
| That's a tool, not a toy. | ||
| A toy makes it seem like you would sit and G.I. Joes would play on top of it or something. | ||
| Well, it's a toy, I think, because of the fact that it's silly. | ||
| You can't help but laugh at it. | ||
| I guess you play with it. | ||
| It's like a less offensive way of describing what it really is. | ||
| Something you fuck. | ||
| Imagine if it just said that. | ||
| The fleshlight. | ||
| Something you fuck. | ||
| That'd be great. | ||
| Just call it that. | ||
| It's a million times better than a sex toy. | ||
| That's like a John Wayne Gacy term. | ||
|
unidentified
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You kids want to play with my sex toys in the basement? | |
| Do you know they sell sex toys at Target now? | ||
| They do? | ||
| Yeah, they have all these new companies, or not new companies, like condom companies are now getting into vibrators, and they have vibrators now at Target, and it's called personal massage units or something, but it's just vibrators at Target. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But they have to pretend it's for something else. | ||
| They have to show the girl rubbing her face with it. | ||
| It's so repressed. | ||
| My temples are so strange. | ||
| Big fucking rubber dick. | ||
| Such a repressed society. | ||
| So fucking repressed that they got to call it a personal massage or they can't say a fuck tool. | ||
| And you got to call it a toy. | ||
| And the other weird thing about it is if you want to talk about sex, you have to say, well, it's adult entertainment. | ||
| Like, what's that? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, what does that even mean? | |
| Adult entertainment. | ||
| That makes you think you're going to be watching a symphony, not like fucking butt plugs. | ||
| Do you think that all this repression when it comes to sexuality is a direct result of overpopulation? | ||
| Is that what it is? | ||
| Is it like we feel overpopulated and we're trying to slow down? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| No, I've never thought that. | ||
| I think it's all based on the fundamentalists of all religions. | ||
| Right, but where's their urge from, this urge to control sexuality? | ||
| What is the root of it? | ||
| S&M. It's a form of S&M. You know that joke you do about... | ||
| That joke you do about the priest sitting in the confession booth with this tiny little hole as they listen to people tell their darkest secrets? | ||
| That's us and them. | ||
| That could be in a sex club. | ||
| If there was no confession booths, that would probably be a thing where it's like, yeah, go in the secret booth, man. | ||
| People tell you really dirty things and you can't jerk off. | ||
| Isn't that crazy? | ||
| That must be so hot for them when they hear really crazy stories. | ||
| It's erotic, dude. | ||
| It's really sexy. | ||
| You know there's guys in the booth being like, man, I put my fingers in her pussy and then she wanted me to fist her pussy. | ||
| Go on, my son. | ||
| And I was just pumping and pumping. | ||
| And, Father, she squirted. | ||
| She squirted, Father. | ||
| You haven't had sex. | ||
| This is a guy who has theoretically not had sex in years. | ||
| Listening to like... | ||
| Never, maybe. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| But they have. | ||
| I mean, they have. | ||
| At least they have nocturnal emissions. | ||
| They come at night in their sleep. | ||
| Priests are always blasting jizz at night. | ||
| Isn't it ridiculous that after all we know in 2011 that people... | ||
| Not even just that anybody would do that, but that anyone would at all take anybody willing to do that seriously and not think they're fucking crazy. | ||
| When you see the Pope having an interview, sitting down with great heads of states and politicians and kings and queens from around the world, you're looking at this guy like, this is... | ||
| This guy's wearing a fucking superhero outfit. | ||
| He's wearing some crazy Jesus superhero outfit on, and he's a fucking cult leader, and he's getting to talk to presidents. | ||
| If Catholicism was new, if it just came out, if someone just invented it, You would for sure make fun of it, and for sure it would be labeled a cult. | ||
| No different than the Moonies, no different than the Hare Krishnas, no different than any other new ideology that tries to get introduced into our system. | ||
|
unidentified
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But Catholicism is one of the weirdest ones, man. | |
| As someone who grew up in it, you know, someone's just been around those churches and the stained glass windows and everything is dark and no one is fucking happy. | ||
| But how about the transubstantiation of the communion wafer where they believe that they convert the communion wafer into the flesh of Jesus? | ||
| Yeah, what? | ||
| It's not a symbol. | ||
| I've heard that they really truly believe when they do their whatever the spell is over the crisp that it turns into Jesus' skin and then they're breaking up the flesh of Jesus and consuming the flesh of the man-god. | ||
| The only people who are really into Catholics are dudes who are fighting off the gay And a lot of old women. | ||
| A lot of old women get really... | ||
| Old men are like, get the fuck out of here with this. | ||
| Most old Catholics that I knew... | ||
| You know, I had the joke about Catholic suicide bombers. | ||
| You'll never see a Catholic suicide bomber because none of us believe in it that much. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Catholicism is like, hmm, fuck it, you never know religion. | ||
| It might be real, but, you know, just don't count on this. | ||
| But old women, old women. | ||
| And dudes fighting off the gay. | ||
| Dudes fighting off the gay, man. | ||
| They dive into the fucking Lord's word. | ||
| When I was in high school, there was this poor kid who wanted to be a priest, and he was just fighting off the cock just every day. | ||
| He was like this space shuttle reentering orbit with leaky tiles. | ||
| Just fighting off the urge, just diving on the cock. | ||
| He was so gay, and he was a really religious man. | ||
| I think he became a priest. | ||
| Please, God, keep cocks out of my mouth today. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| I was reading about this fucking crazy story where there's a lesbian couple and they have a son. | ||
| The son is 11 years old and they want to block his hormones because he says that he's a girl and he wants to be a girl. | ||
| So they want him to be positioned for gender reassignment at 11 years old. | ||
| He's making his decisions. | ||
| And his name is Tommy, but they say that he only refers to Tammy. | ||
| He calls himself Tammy. | ||
| He dresses and dresses and he wants to be a girl. | ||
| Jesus, poor kid. | ||
| Yeah, what happened there? | ||
| Do you think the kid is... | ||
| Is that an emotional thing? | ||
| Is that a physiological thing? | ||
| Does anybody have that nailed? | ||
| Like why people wish that they were another sex? | ||
| I guarantee that it's not like just a decision for an 11... | ||
| No 11-year-old is gonna like put themselves through turning into a... | ||
| He wasn't just like, this is gonna be interesting. | ||
| I think I'm trying to be a girl. | ||
| Well, according to the parents, he had done that since he was a baby baby. | ||
| It's physiological. | ||
| So you think it's just some wacky coincidence that this is happening in the presence of this lesbian couple that's raising him. | ||
| Because this is where the real argument comes in about sociology versus physiology, like what exactly causes certain behavior. | ||
| Certain wants and inclinations. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, I'm no expert, but I know that people are real uncomfortable when they hear that a lesbian couple has a boy that they adopted and that this boy is being considered for gender reassignment to become a woman at 11. You want to go like, wow, okay, what are you guys like? | ||
| Can I sit down and talk to you? | ||
| How do you feel about men? | ||
| Do you fucking hate them? | ||
| Do you talk shit about them all day? | ||
| So you think to please his mommies? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I don't think that. | ||
| I definitely don't think that. | ||
| I don't have an opinion. | ||
| I have no opinion. | ||
| Honestly, I just find the whole subject to be incredibly fascinating. | ||
| The whole idea of gender reassignment. | ||
| That term is fascinating. | ||
| It sounds like something that would happen to you in the military. | ||
| You're getting sent for gender reassignment, boy! | ||
| It's like the robot military. | ||
|
unidentified
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Well, obviously, they should not let... | |
| Hopefully, that kid has to be 18 to honestly be able to do that, right? | ||
| Apparently not. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| What they're trying to do is they're trying to give the kid blockers that keep him from reaching puberty. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's... | |
| Yeah, but that should be against the law for them to be able to do that. | ||
| That's what I would think. | ||
| The kid can't make a decision for himself. | ||
| I don't think you can fucking jack nature like that at 11. You don't know what you're doing. | ||
| You don't know the repercussions. | ||
| How could an 11-year-old possibly wrap their head around the idea of what they should be responsible with for their whole future? | ||
| You're not a man yet. | ||
| You're not even responsible for yourself. | ||
| Your mom has to check to make sure you wiped your butt. | ||
| At 11, I can't imagine. | ||
| That said, I have a friend who's going through that. | ||
| I have a friend whose son is going through a gender reassignment issue. | ||
| Is that a new word? | ||
| That's a new term. | ||
| This is like the new ADD or something. | ||
| I've never heard that term. | ||
| I don't believe it is. | ||
| I think that's what they've been calling it when they chop your dick off. | ||
| That was scaring too many patients off. | ||
| This is the chop your dick off clinic. | ||
| Oh, you're here to get yourself a fake vagina and no penis. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| It's like two items on the menu. | ||
| Give me that money. | ||
| Yeah, that's two items. | ||
| Chop your dick off. | ||
|
unidentified
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Chop your dick off, sew a dick off. | |
| Well, for women, I don't know how many of them get an artificially constructed penis. | ||
| They convert the clitoris, right? | ||
| Well, not really. | ||
| What they do is, for the most part, they just jack them up with roids, and roids make the clit turn into like a little dick. | ||
| The clitoris and the penis are apparently made out of the same sort of tissue. | ||
| And when the clitoris is in the presence of massive doses of testosterone, just chimpanzee rage doses, it becomes a dick. | ||
| It gets so ferocious it grows like a rhino horn. | ||
| And that's just from just pumping tests into a woman's body. | ||
| It's all crazy to me, man. | ||
| I've been around bodybuilders before. | ||
| I knew girls that did roids for sure. | ||
| There was girls at this gym that I went to. | ||
| There was one gym that I went to in North Hollywood. | ||
| They were fucking gigantic women, man. | ||
| They were big. | ||
| They were like $1.80, solid muscle, 5% body fat. | ||
| Dude, you don't get that way. | ||
| There's a lady who used to live down the street from me that was like a Miss Olympia. | ||
| So, you know, it's a weird thing, man. | ||
| They do look weird. | ||
| When they do it backwards, though, like when they take the dick off to make it a pussy, don't they use the dick hole and then they kind of like just open it up like an artichoke or something like that? | ||
| I think, yes, something along those lines. | ||
| I think they actually try to sever the penis and use it to line the skin of the vagina. | ||
| So if the person still gets excited, they still have a feeling. | ||
| But they can't orgasm anymore. | ||
| No orgasms forever. | ||
|
unidentified
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It makes me wonder then if there's any sensation to get... | |
| You see those videos where people are shoving pencils up their dick holes or something like that. | ||
|
unidentified
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Of course. | |
| Does that feel good? | ||
| Does it have a sensation? | ||
| It's gotta feel terrible! | ||
|
unidentified
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Is that a new way to check off? | |
| I think once it heals up, it probably doesn't feel too terrible. | ||
| They're probably so excited by the fact they got this little fake pussy. | ||
| Oh, that probably feels good. | ||
| I thought you meant a pencil in your dick hole. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's gotta feel horrible! | |
| And you pause for a second. | ||
|
unidentified
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No, no. | |
| Because it's the same hole is what I'm saying is when they split open the dick and you have sex, that's the hole you're using, right? | ||
| When they make a man and a woman. | ||
| That's a good question. | ||
| You might be right. | ||
| He might be right. | ||
| There's no way they're not fucking their urethra. | ||
| They stretch it out. | ||
| That's what they do. | ||
|
unidentified
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There should be a penis trainer, like an anal trainer. | |
| Who's the first person who did this operation? | ||
| That's what I want to know. | ||
| They start out with the shell of a bullet. | ||
|
unidentified
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They start off with a number one pencil and they go to a number two and then they go to that nice fat three one that we enjoy. | |
| They get to a 38 round and we really pack it in there and stretch out the tip of that cock. | ||
| And it's a six month process until it becomes something that you can fist. | ||
| I've seen videos of chicks knuckle deep in a guy's dick. | ||
| Just pushing down into his dick hole. | ||
| Just fucking fishing around down in his balls. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| No bacteria on those nails. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh god! | |
| The infections! | ||
|
unidentified
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This girl I know, she does webcam videos and a lot of guys do that. | |
| Oh, Jesus! | ||
| Like, I was surprised if she will screen capture all of them. | ||
| Oh, my God! | ||
| She screen captures all of them? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| So they can see her as she sees them? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, yeah, absolutely. | |
| And you know that, what's that, chat roulette? | ||
| Is that the thing that chicks do? | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| Is that the thing that chicks do now? | ||
| You beat off and they look at you one-on-one. | ||
| Yeah, it's kind of like what you always used to do with girls from forums and stuff for free, but now they're charging something like $10 every two minutes. | ||
| It's kind of cool because now you're making a personalized porn video. | ||
| So it's pretty much like chat roulette, but the girl's hot on the other side. | ||
| Yeah, I'd like to see that. | ||
| But the girls, they can screen capture. | ||
| They can get photos of your cock and everything. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, it's mostly just cock. | |
| They don't have faces in it. | ||
| It's terrible. | ||
| She's like all screen capturing dicks? | ||
| That's just rude, man. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's unprofessional. | |
| Yeah, but she's a professional. | ||
| This girl I know only does it when it's pencils in the dickholes. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's only crazy shit. | ||
| Or there's something ridiculous. | ||
| Doesn't she have to take an oath before she becomes a webcam woman? | ||
| Yeah, you should have to. | ||
| Like, have a Hippocratic oath. | ||
| You're not allowed to harm. | ||
| You're not allowed to take screenshots of dudes' dicks. | ||
| You're here in the service industry. | ||
| That's right. | ||
|
unidentified
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Oh, I screen capture all the time. | |
| All day. | ||
| There really should be sexual service industry. | ||
| There really should be. | ||
| You know, the idea that that's illegal is so fucking gross. | ||
| You know, I think it probably causes more rape. | ||
| It causes more anger. | ||
| If prostitution... | ||
|
unidentified
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Spreads disease. | |
| Yeah, I don't want my daughter to be a prostitute. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| But if prostitution was legal, people are going to do it. | ||
| And guess what? | ||
| Some people are going to actually like to do it. | ||
| And some people are going to enjoy going there. | ||
| And some people, they're just crazy bitches and they really wouldn't do anything else anyway. | ||
| And what are you going to do? | ||
| Are you going to fix the whole world? | ||
| Are you going to fix the whole world? | ||
| Or are you going to let them get tested and get taxed and let them be treated like they're not some outlaw? | ||
| It's an outlaw thing. | ||
| If you're a prostitute, you're a criminal. | ||
| If you're giving away sex for free, you're just a whore. | ||
| But if you're actually getting money for it, you go to jail. | ||
| They lock you in a cage. | ||
| And the idea that we still have that in 2011, regardless of what your beliefs are about sex, whether you should or shouldn't go to a prostitute, I agree. | ||
| It's kind of a weird thing. | ||
| It's a little dehumanizing. | ||
| It's very strange. | ||
| Fucking for sure it should be legal. | ||
| You can't lock people in a jail. | ||
| You lock people in a cage for making someone feel good with their mouth. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| It's insanity. | ||
| It's absolute fucking insanity. | ||
| It's fucking lunacy, man. | ||
| It's complete insanity. | ||
| The fact that it's not challenged. | ||
| The fact that that's not challenged. | ||
| In 2011, like... | ||
| And the fact that Apple's not censoring it off of Siri when you're asking for a blowjob and they tell you where the closest escort agency is. | ||
| Yeah, did you know that? | ||
| This is what he did. | ||
| He asked it. | ||
|
unidentified
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I told you this. | |
| Last night, I just sit there in bed and try new things. | ||
|
unidentified
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And I'm sitting there and I go, I want a blowjob. | |
| And they're like, we found four escort agencies closest to you. | ||
|
unidentified
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And it's like 2.7 miles away. | |
| You know Steve Jobs has programmed some shit in there that's just waiting for someone to say the right thing. | ||
|
unidentified
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I just hope they don't start censoring it, though. | |
| Apple, keep on going that way. | ||
| Make it like the internet. | ||
| Don't start censoring it. | ||
| That's fucking cool that you actually have that in there. | ||
| Open a time portal, Siri. | ||
| He just put it in there knowing eventually someone's saying it. | ||
| Siri, what is exactly going to happen on December 21st, 2012? | ||
| Cannot access, future node. | ||
| That's funny. | ||
| Yeah, that's fucking cool, man. | ||
| One thing that seems interesting, it seems like it's run off a server because everyone's activating this Siri, which is a remote assistant on the new iPhone 4S is what we're talking about. | ||
| Well, you know what it's based on, right? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| The Dragon? | ||
| No, it's based on Wolfram Alpha, which was that search engine that was created by all these PhDs. | ||
| They literally wanted to put together, the concept is, a website that can answer any question. | ||
| So no matter what your question is, what is the weight of one pound of nuclear waste? | ||
| I've used it before. | ||
| I've used it for a ship before. | ||
| Yeah, it's awesome. | ||
| Yeah, so apparently that's what's behind all this. | ||
| Wow, that's really cool. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, when you ask for a dead body, it goes, a sewer, an old warehouse, a junkyard. | ||
| Yeah, he said where to put a dead body. | ||
| Yeah, you didn't make that? | ||
| I thought this is a fake video you made. | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
|
unidentified
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I've been laying in bed using it, just like fucking making up shit. | |
| Holy shit. | ||
| Dude, if you ever have a device, if you ever have a gadget and you want to learn everything about it, I just buy Brian one too. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| And then I say, where are we at now? | ||
| And he's like, dude, this is what I just found out. | ||
| And he'll find shit on it that you would never figure out yourself. | ||
| He's a fucking gnome. | ||
| Yeah, well, he's just a gadget whore. | ||
|
unidentified
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I need to figure it out. | |
| And I think it's run off a server. | ||
| I think that they're going to be able to constantly upgrade it as time goes on. | ||
| And I'm just worried now that with all the attention to all the, of course, the X-rated stuff, that they're going to start censoring it. | ||
|
unidentified
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And I hope they don't start doing that. | |
| But it is cool to think what Siri in five years is going to be, just like when we first saw the iPhone 1 to see how it's changed. | ||
| The technology from then, it's going to be pretty much, like most relationships without sex, it's going to be better than that. | ||
| It's going to be anything you want to talk about, any questions you have to ask, and it's going to learn, it's going to get to know you. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's pretty much going to be artificial intelligence. | |
| What do you mean most relationships without sex? | ||
|
unidentified
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Because what else is it? | |
| You're sitting there talking to a computer. | ||
| Oh, you mean most of the relationship without sex. | ||
|
unidentified
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Like a relationship without sex. | |
| Yeah, but you know what? | ||
| You won't feel the same. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's what the fleshlight is. | |
| If you know that the robot is there for you because it's artificial, you're going to abuse it. | ||
| It's not like a person that you love to have around. | ||
| I think most people would probably just beat the fuck out of their robots. | ||
| If they knew that their robot wasn't a person, but was always going to look out for them and be there for them, and you would find that robot annoying... | ||
| And you would kick his ass because you know he couldn't fight back because he's only there to protect you. | ||
|
unidentified
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Right, but if it gets to know you better... | |
| It's not real, man. | ||
| It's a robot. | ||
| No, no, but if it gets to know what your answers would be and your personality better, because I'm already interested in it and it's just not even smart right now. | ||
| Right, right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
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But what if it starts to get to know you and now you're so interested in it like crack... | |
| Are you asking what if you fall in love with your phone? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, she has things. | |
| I even asked it to sing the other day and it started singing me a song. | ||
| I mean, it's pretty much... | ||
| What? | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
| It is fascinating. | ||
| I'm addicted to it. | ||
| I'm addicted to it. | ||
| What if Brian just got a cursed iPhone? | ||
| It's not Siri. | ||
|
unidentified
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It's got a demon in it. | |
| Well, dude, I mean, if you were a real fundamentalist, if there's any more... | ||
| Satan. | ||
| Yeah, this is the devil in the machine. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| That's what Satan does. | ||
| You know, someone told me once, Satan... | ||
| God cannot create. | ||
| Only God can create. | ||
| Satan is only capable of imitation. | ||
| That's why Satan is the god of music, of rock music. | ||
| Satan is the god. | ||
|
unidentified
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I love dudes who just have knowledge like that. | |
| Especially about Satan. | ||
| They want to give it to you. | ||
| I'm going to tell you. | ||
| And they're all confident, and they're just saying just crazy shit. | ||
| Yeah, just think about that. | ||
| Just think about that. | ||
| I've always said that if you believe in the devil, that's a different kind of crazy. | ||
| Because there's a lot of people that will talk all day about God. | ||
| Like on TV, God bless America. | ||
| May God save our troops. | ||
| God is on our side. | ||
| Bush said God is on our side on TV. I believe God is on our side. | ||
| Could you imagine if he said, we found the devil, he's in Afghanistan. | ||
| He'd be like, oh, this guy's crazy. | ||
| That is fucking mine. | ||
| You didn't really find the devil, but it's okay to invoke God into the equation as long as it's sort of an abstract thing that you're pretty sure you're never going to meet in this lifetime. | ||
| It's amazing what invoking God can do. | ||
| I mean, clearly the God that the Christians are invoking, if there is a Satan, is Satan, because the God that they're invoking is this homophobic destroyer of everything that isn't a Christian. | ||
| And if you don't fear him, he will fuck you up. | ||
| Fucks you up. | ||
|
unidentified
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He will fuck you up. | |
| He'll give you a plague. | ||
| Anything bad, he'll fuck you up so bad. | ||
| That fucking Herman Cain. | ||
| There's a thing on the internet of somebody asking Herman Cain what he thinks about homosexuality. | ||
| His response is, well, I'm a Bible-believing Christian, and so I believe it's a sin. | ||
| So, if you think about that, this guy's running for president, and those two things he put next to each other, he believes that fucking someone of the same gender is not just bad, it's bad on a metaphysical level. | ||
| It's bad because there is a super intelligent being out there that gets infuriated When these microscopic amoeba-like creatures put their penis in an asshole of the same gender. | ||
| He believes in that creature. | ||
| And that fucking guy wants the keys to the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet! | ||
| You can't! | ||
| You can't give him that. | ||
| Do you think they... | ||
| I don't believe that anymore. | ||
| I don't believe they have the rights to the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet. | ||
| I don't believe the president has... | ||
| Any size. | ||
| I think the president is just doing a job. | ||
| He's in there playing a role. | ||
| I think it's really clear now. | ||
| And the clearest evidence of that is Obama. | ||
| What Obama, the way he's changed his stance on things from being a presidential candidate to being the president. | ||
| And he's done everything that you would have asked him to do if you were in corporate America. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sure. | |
| You were one of the people that put him into office. | ||
| He's done everything you asked him. | ||
| He's like a maitre d'. | ||
| Including what they're doing with the pharmaceutical companies going after medical marijuana now. | ||
| Closing down stores. | ||
| Threatening property owners. | ||
| Yeah, people who are renting places out to medical marijuana places. | ||
| They're saying they're going to take their property away. | ||
| They're threatening newspapers for airing advertisements for medical marijuana. | ||
| Meanwhile, I mean, there's been study after fucking study after fucking study showing so many benefits that people have that are sick. | ||
| You know, forget about people like me who just use it because I like the way it makes me feel. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| I mean, it makes me relaxed. | ||
| It helps me go to sleep. | ||
| A fine reason to do anything. | ||
| Yeah, a fine reason, just like aspirin. | ||
| If you have a headache, you should be able to take aspirin, goddammit. | ||
| You're a fucking grown human being. | ||
| The idea that any one person should be able to stop you is ridiculous. | ||
| But in this day and age, with all the information that we have now, the fact that it's still illegal, at a certain point in time, you just have to fucking scream. | ||
| It's just infuriating. | ||
| It's infuriating. | ||
| Well, a poll just came out. | ||
| It just was popping up on the internet that now 50% of Americans believe that marijuana should be legal. | ||
| And somebody tweeted to me that in California, like the Medical Association came out and said that they think it should be legal because it causes more harm. | ||
| It breaks up more families. | ||
| The war on it is breaking up families, taking people's property away, putting people in jail. | ||
| That's a million times more harmful than whatever the harmful effects may be of smoking marijuana, which as far as I can tell are like naps that are too good and it makes World of Warcraft fucking unavoidable in your life. | ||
| It does make food taste better and makes sex feel good too. | ||
| Yeah, so there's a... | ||
| I got really depressed when that shit started hitting Twitter about Obama cracking down again. | ||
| I got really sad. | ||
| I still am a little gloomy from that because it's just this idea of like, what are we in fucking Mordor and Lord of the Rings? | ||
| Is there some guy on like a black throne with fucking metal gloves and a horn helmet being like, we must... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Crush the marijuana that is making these people so happy. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| Or you cannot have the people be happy. | ||
| They're too happy. | ||
| It's just the grossest example of corruption available. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The grossest example of corruption. | ||
| Whenever there's something where someone's trying to crack down on things, know this. | ||
| When someone is threatening to crack down on something, where they're going after certain organizations, there's money involved. | ||
| 100%. | ||
| percent there's money involved right and the money can go one way or the other you know it could go that they realize they can make a lot of money through these medical marijuana places and the marijuana places give them a nice fat tax like maybe say hey instead of you know uh whatever tax we're paying how about medical marijuana you make them pay x amount of tax maybe just a little bit more that those profits go to try to straighten out the economy a little bit and uh you know and everybody still can make a shitload of fucking money | ||
| then they have to stop back and think and go, wow, they're giving us more money than the pharmaceutical companies are. | ||
| And then, and only then, are you going to be able to fucking stop all this bullshit. | ||
| You're going to have to have a marijuana lobby. | ||
| You're going to have to have people that have shitloads of fucking money, and they want marijuana to be legal. | ||
| And then all these cunt politicians, all these corrupt little whores with their assholes sticking straight up in the air, all of them will come around. | ||
| All of them. | ||
| But that's only then. | ||
| Only when they get the people who put them in office, when they're daddies, who put them in position and tell them what the fuck to say. | ||
| There's no clear piece of evidence that Obama, a man who admitted he smoked marijuana, and they're locking people in cages for selling. | ||
| Taking their property. | ||
| Taking their property. | ||
| Yanking them away in front of their kids. | ||
| Why are they doing it? | ||
| There's only one reason. | ||
| Money. | ||
| There's only one reason. | ||
| Someone... | ||
| Is making money off it not being legal. | ||
| That's one part of it, but there is the deeper conspiracy theory about it, which is that it's not just the money, it's the fact that the state of consciousness it induces isn't one that works for the type of capitalism we have right now. | ||
| And I think there's something to that, man. | ||
| If people start... | ||
| And also, it's like, try getting really high on a really good weed and start thinking about those fucking drones zooming around Afghanistan and blasting missiles at kids. | ||
| And it's like, you'll really start getting a clear understanding of how fucked up that is. | ||
| No matter what, even... | ||
| Let's say even those drone attacks, we had to do them, it's still fucked up. | ||
| It still creates more of a sensitivity towards people getting their limbs blown off of their bodies in the pursuit of some ridiculous war. | ||
| And that kind of, you know, that's hitting the military-industrial complex. | ||
| It's hitting the pharmaceutical companies because if you start getting high... | ||
| You're going to start experiencing a better level of happiness. | ||
| It's going to make you start dealing with your bullshit. | ||
| Or maybe it'll make you depressed because you're lazy. | ||
| But either way, it won't allow you to sink into the kind of sedated hypnosis that it seems like works really fucking well for Applebee's. | ||
| You know, it works really well for the corporations for people to be in a sedated, hypnotic, State where they can really make sense of going down to a shopping mall and like eating at a fucking, I don't know, chicken place with their kids and then going up and buying some shit at a shoe store and then spending their day just consuming shit they don't really need and then going home and sitting back to watch TV with more advertisements and not thinking that's weird and falling asleep in that | ||
| kind of depressed slumber. | ||
| That is really hard to do if you're high. | ||
| If you're really high, it's really hard to watch normal TV and not be like, this is horrible! | ||
| Look at these advertisements! | ||
| Are you kidding? | ||
| They think that that's going to work on me? | ||
| Oh my god! | ||
| $48,000 for a fucking car? | ||
| You're going to pay for it. | ||
| That's like over a year's wage for some people. | ||
| You're going to make sense of buying a brand new car. | ||
| Payments of $285 a month. | ||
| For like $4,000 you can go buy a fucking car. | ||
| Get it fixed up through the year and have like a shitload of extra money and not be in debt. | ||
| That's what pot makes you think. | ||
| You know, but if you're like drunk and you're fucking scratching your balls and watching the game and a fucking the new Lexus, you'll start thinking like, well, my credit score went up this year. | ||
| I think I might be able to take out a loan from the bank and get a new Lexus. | ||
| Even though you're fucking broke and living in hell and it's going to just create this weight on your budget that's going to make you miserable. | ||
| Dude, I don't mean to go on a long rant, but did I ever tell you the time a friend of mine picked me up in his fucking Mercedes and took me to his apartment? | ||
| Did I ever tell you this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| He had a brand new Mercedes. | ||
| Now I know this guy. | ||
| I knew what his job was. | ||
| Picked me up in his... | ||
| And I knew he couldn't afford a Mercedes. | ||
| Picks me up in his brand new Mercedes and he's like, hey, I gotta stop by my apartment. | ||
| Come inside for a second. | ||
| Go into his apartment. | ||
| It is the size of a fucking car. | ||
| Closet. | ||
| It is the smallest apartment I've ever seen in my life. | ||
| He had to almost walk sideways against the wall to get around the bed to get to the bathroom. | ||
| It's like a New York style just shitbox. | ||
| Meanwhile, that guy's car payments have got to be like $550, $600 a month. | ||
| I mean, this is a nice fucking Mercedes. | ||
| And in his mind, his logic behind it was like, yeah, it's better to have a really nice car than a comfortable living situation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I talk about this like... | |
| He's like a... | ||
| One last thing. | ||
| That guy's a tramp demon. | ||
| What? | ||
| He's a tramp demon. | ||
| Because tramps see that Mercedes and they're like, let's go back to your apartment. | ||
| Because they think he's rich. | ||
| And then they get in this tiny little fucking shitty closet space. | ||
| He probably has some rap about that. | ||
| They're making my new place. | ||
| They're fixing it uptown. | ||
| I'm staying here for a little while. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| See ya. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's so fucking sad. | ||
| The look on those tramps' face when they walk in that door and realize that there's barely room to stand. | ||
| There's like two feet of carpet between the door and the bed. | ||
| There's a lot of people who believe in those really small, sustainable houses. | ||
| People are making these really, really little houses. | ||
| And you move things out for the kitchen and move things out. | ||
| And the bed is like a little loft area. | ||
| It's like a whole trend on the internet. | ||
| There's a lot of people that are doing that now. | ||
| I don't think there's anything wrong about living simply. | ||
| It's just hilarious when people throw themselves into hellish debt for a symbol. | ||
| Well, it's not just that, honestly. | ||
| You enjoy the fuck out of a nice car. | ||
| When you get a Mercedes, you can't believe you're allowed to drive this thing. | ||
| Everywhere you go, people look at you like you must be special. | ||
| Look at him, he's getting into For a lot of people, that is a tangible benefit of having a car like that. | ||
| They like it. | ||
| You could say it's shallow all day, but man, driving one of those things is beautiful. | ||
| It's an amazing piece of engineering. | ||
| And as a gearhead, you know, I'm sort of a minor league gearhead because I don't know exactly how all of it works. | ||
| Like, Adam Carolla is like a legit gearhead. | ||
| He can, like, build cars. | ||
| I just, like, buy them from people who know how to build them and appreciate the fuck out of them. | ||
| I think they're interesting. | ||
| But the driving one, you drive, like, a really well-engineered piece of... | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| No, man, if I had shitloads of money, I would buy a nice car. | ||
| And I wouldn't feel weird about it because anything to, like... | ||
| To dull the fucking existential horror that comes over me on the 101 in traffic. | ||
| That's beautiful. | ||
| I'm just saying, when those commercials, they're not just appealing to rich people. | ||
| They're manipulating idiots into somehow convincing them that it logically makes sense to get in debt to a bank for 50 grand. | ||
| It's not just idiots. | ||
| It's people that are not happy. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| They're offering you happiness. | ||
| See, most people throughout their day, they have a job that can occasionally be interesting, but they would never fucking do for free. | ||
| And whether they're good at it or not, they take some sense of pride in their work, they get through their day, but they're fucking tired, man. | ||
| And people are unsatisfied. | ||
| They feel like they work so fucking hard, they put so much in, and what am I getting? | ||
| I'm just existing? | ||
| This is what I'm doing? | ||
| I'm existing. | ||
| So what do they do? | ||
| They get fucking shit. | ||
| They buy a new bowling ball. | ||
| They get a new Lexus. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| For them, you know, for some of those, you say it's sad, but for some of those guys that are stuck in that life, no matter what they do, that might give them like a little bit more happiness driving, you know. | ||
| Yeah, but that's plastic. | ||
| A nice new Mustang on the way to work. | ||
| It's like eating plastic fucking fruit. | ||
| I mean, really, the idea is get underneath that. | ||
| Don't start. | ||
| You're starting at the top. | ||
| Start way deep. | ||
| Start down deep and then worry about the fucking Mercedes. | ||
| Yes, for you. | ||
| Yes, for you. | ||
| For you, for a guy who thinks. | ||
| But for someone who's just locked into the life of a drone and accepts it, a nice little red Mercedes. | ||
| Look at that. | ||
| Look at the look on Bob's face. | ||
| He's so happy that he gets into his red Mercedes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't buy Mercedes, but I do the same shit. | |
| I get myself in debt, always have been. | ||
| I do the same shit. | ||
| I don't buy Mercedes or go to that crazy, but my shit was always like, I grew up super poor. | ||
| And then now I have credits. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So now I can buy things. | |
| Most of my life was like hand-me-down shit or shitty toys. | ||
| You live in a neighborhood with a bunch of kids that get anything they wanted growing up. | ||
| I don't understand it. | ||
| And you see these kids and you're like, wow, you got Voltron? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How'd you get Voltron? | |
| That's just like $80, you know? | ||
| And then now you're an adult. | ||
| You're kind of over... | ||
| You feel like, I deserve this because I didn't have that stuff growing up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I want what I want. | |
| These kids always had growing up. | ||
| People like objects to soothe them. | ||
| Give me a big computer monitor. | ||
| And fucking World of Warcraft. | ||
| And some medicinal marijuana. | ||
| And that's all I need. | ||
| And that costs $13.99 a month. | ||
| Oh shit. | ||
| I guess I can't say what I did because they'll cancel my account. | ||
| Can I tell you what a friend of mine did? | ||
| Yes, please do. | ||
| A friend of mine recently went on a really bad World of Warcraft binge. | ||
| He didn't mean to when he started playing. | ||
| What's this guy's name? | ||
| His name's... | ||
| Little Hobo? | ||
| Yeah, his name's Little Hobo! | ||
| You know him! | ||
| Little Hobo. | ||
| Started playing and he went in there and he started playing. | ||
| Me and him are similar in that we both have a level 83 Warlock. | ||
| And Little Hobo started playing and he went in deep. | ||
| I don't know what happened to him, but it's like he really, really, really got hooked on it for like three days. | ||
| And since he did delete the game from his computer so he couldn't play. | ||
| But in the midst of this binge, he decided to buy gold. | ||
| Because they sell gold online for World of Warcraft. | ||
| They sell gold. | ||
| Do you know this? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| They sell World of Warcraft currency. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So he decided to buy, just because he saw an ad and he's like, I wonder if this really works. | ||
| He decided to buy 6,000 gold, which takes a long time to gather up in that game. | ||
| And so he went online and he ordered it. | ||
| And he had to put his phone number in. | ||
| And he got a fucking call from these Chinese people. | ||
| They're like, you buy gold? | ||
| You buy gold? | ||
| Meet an Ogremar at the bank. | ||
| Ogremar, bank, now! | ||
| Come now! | ||
| Like, really, like, they couldn't really speak English that well. | ||
| And you go and you meet a gold dealer. | ||
| In the game. | ||
| In the game. | ||
| So they call you up in real life and tell you to get a line. | ||
| The gold's ready. | ||
| The gold's ready, get online. | ||
| Then you go and you meet this, like, level one character, and it's like a fucking drug deal. | ||
| They have you meet kind of, they're like, Valley of Spirits, come now! | ||
| Valley of Spirits, you come now! | ||
| They're brusque. | ||
| You go there, and then they, like, give you 6,000 gold, and their character vanishes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was so fucking... | |
| Do you think two things? | ||
| Do you think either there's a Foxconn of kids that are forced to play this game and then all... | ||
| It's sweatshop. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, sweatshop gold. | |
| 6,000 gold for $7? | ||
| It would take days for me to gather up 6,000 gold. | ||
| $7. | ||
| They're getting paid like 10 cents an hour. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wow. | |
| If that together... | ||
| Or Blizzard's one of the most intelligent companies in the whole entire world, and they discovered that, like, hey, this is like paying... | ||
| You know, we could act like these people existed, you know, where we're actually making money. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Like, we just made $7 off Dunkin'. | |
| You know, we made up this imaginary gold. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| No, dude. | ||
| That'd be so awesome. | ||
| This was some Blade Runner shit. | ||
| This is some, like, kids in a fucking bunker. | ||
| It was like... | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| It felt genuinely... | ||
| I can't... | ||
| Well, Little Hobo told me that it was like one of the... | ||
| That was one of the most fun experiences I had on the game. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You were able to commit a crime without getting arrested. | |
| It was really fun. | ||
| I'm so glad Little Hobo's back. | ||
| Yeah, me too. | ||
| He's been enjoying getting out on the road again. | ||
| So, are you using the little guy? | ||
| The little guy's been working. | ||
| Fine. | ||
| Nobody seems to care. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| The little guy's a little cuter. | ||
| He's a little nicer. | ||
| Not on stage. | ||
| He's sweeter looking. | ||
| What you were saying that it is like Blade Runner type shit. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| Things are getting so bizarre. | ||
| It's bizarre. | ||
| They're getting so bizarre and they're closing in with the Siri thing. | ||
| You're absolutely right, Brian. | ||
| This is the next level. | ||
| This ability to interact with your device. | ||
| Interact with your intelligence. | ||
| Yeah, we're knocking on the door of some really, really bizarre times. | ||
| You know what I think it is, man? | ||
| I think the next thing is going to be interactive surfaces where it's going to be like some kind of like, I don't know, material that you could lay down on top of a table, like kind of like tile or just some kind of cloth you could lay on top of something that turned into a screen. | ||
| So I think that the new thing is going to be there are going to be walls made of interactive surfaces so that you could tell the wall, you know, like beach view. | ||
| And suddenly you're just sitting on some beautiful beach looking out at the ocean. - I think they already have that shit actually. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, like that wall technology. | |
| But it's got to be... | ||
| I think it's going to get totally normal. | ||
| You know now when you go to a hotel and you're like, ah, fuck, they don't have wireless. | ||
| It'll be like you'll go to a hotel and be like, ah, there's no interactive surfaces. | ||
| It doesn't have interactive walls. | ||
| I think eventually what it's going to be is we're going to have hologram units. | ||
| And that you're going to be able to watch things in hologram. | ||
| You'll be able to... | ||
| Remember when R2-D2 had Princess Leia come out? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, totally. | |
| And there's a little video that you could watch. | ||
| You're my only hope. | ||
| Help us, Obi-Wan. | ||
| It's so primitive when you think about it. | ||
| But I think eventually there'll be some sort of a large form of that in your living room. | ||
| Like your living room will have an open space. | ||
| Instead of having a 55-inch TV, you'll have like a 55-inch square on the ground. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, and then there'll be something above it, and it'll just project some three-dimensional, fully three-dimensional image. | ||
| That you can control with your hands. | ||
| You can, like, move shit around with your hands and stuff. | ||
| I mean, that! | ||
| When that happens, that's when fucking Starcraft 2 is going to become the ultimate sport. | ||
| Because they're going to put that shit in, like, they're going to put that in stadiums. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you sponsored by Blizzard? | |
| I wish I was sponsored by Blizzard. | ||
| They're going to have it, like... | ||
| Stadiums are going to be laid out with these huge holograms of video games fighting each other that look super realistic. | ||
| That's coming. | ||
| I know it's going to happen. | ||
| It's going to be so fun. | ||
| Could you imagine if they had life-size video game hologram things that interact with each other and you could watch a game of Quake play out? | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| Watch it play out in an arena. | ||
| Watch like a dude, like an artificial dude rolling, shooting guns and shit. | ||
| That's where it's heading, man. | ||
| It's already like so fucking fun to watch. | ||
| Esports, I'm hooked. | ||
| I've been watching these Starcraft 2 tournaments and they're like badass. | ||
| They're so fun to watch when you know what's happening. | ||
| Fucking Koreans, man. | ||
| They're the fucking... | ||
| They are to starcraft what black people are to football. | ||
| They're just like ripping through, ripping through everyone. | ||
| They're so good, man. | ||
| And they have like... | ||
| The way they set up the cameras, they show like their hands on the keyboard sometimes. | ||
| You can see how fast they're moving their hands. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Lightning fast. | ||
| It's like $100,000 is what they're competing for. | ||
| So it's real money and it's... | ||
| Well, quick thinking and intelligence is really what's required to play StarCraft. | ||
| That's a tricky-ass game. | ||
| I was into fast twitch muscle games. | ||
| I was into aim games, like Quake, because it was really intense. | ||
| I was into one-on-one duels and all that type of shit. | ||
| The amount of calculation that's involved in a game like StarCraft, it's not just like moving your hands quick. | ||
| There's a lot of shit going on, man. | ||
| The automatic, it's fast twitch because you do have to be able to move super fast and there's like, the way they break it down is there's like... | ||
| But it's not an aim fast twitch. | ||
| The precision and Involved in Quake, you had to get special mouses with mice, where there were 2,000 DPI, 3,000 DPI. They had these razor mice that they created specifically just to make the accuracy They have those for Starcraft. | ||
| But you need them as much? | ||
| Oh fuck yeah, because the macro game is like your big plan, what different setups you're going to use to try to defeat your opponent on the broad scale. | ||
| Then there's the micro game, which is so when you're having individual skirmishes between armies, I only do macro. | ||
| I'm terrible at micro, but the micro game is, let's say you've got five zergs, which are these alien predatorial creatures, and they're fighting five protoss, which are kind of like sci-fi space people. | ||
| You have to, like, if you're really good as your units start getting injured, you pull them out of the fight. | ||
| You pull them back out of the fight so that they don't get killed and they can heal in the back while the people who aren't getting hurt can fight. | ||
| And there's, like, tricks based around that, and you've got to move fast as fuck to pull that off. | ||
| And meanwhile, while you're doing that in the middle of a skirmish, you've got to be thinking about all the shit back at your base, your fucking spawning pool has got to get adrenal glands on your fucking... | ||
| Zergs, you gotta update your fucking hive. | ||
| Your queens gotta be spread. | ||
| The queens, because I play Zerg, they're like badass aliens. | ||
| The queens, they spit this. | ||
| No, I think it comes out of their ass. | ||
| They turn around and spray this weird hive with their eggs, and that creates larvae from which you grow these aliens. | ||
| You gotta be thinking, I gotta spray the fucking hive. | ||
| I gotta make a goddamn... | ||
| I don't have time for this. | ||
| I gotta make a baneling nest. | ||
| It's awesome! | ||
| I have no time for this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You should get mad about the Olive Garden. | |
| What the fuck was that about? | ||
| This is ridiculous. | ||
| It's the greatest game. | ||
| It's the greatest game of all time. | ||
| Well, I guess if you really get into it, it would become your life, though. | ||
| It seems like it's so complex, and there's so much involved in it, that you kind of have to play it all day. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Do you find yourself ever wishing... | |
| Sometimes. | ||
| You've got to moderate. | ||
| You've got to take control of yourself. | ||
| It seems like you're constantly being stimulated. | ||
| You're constantly having tasks to perform. | ||
| It's never-ending, especially if you're playing online. | ||
| And you're playing against a person, and so you're getting the added silly endorphin rush of crushing someone... | ||
| And also it ranks you. | ||
| So the way they got it set up is there's different leagues in StarCraft. | ||
| So you have like the Bronze League. | ||
| Then you have like the Silver League, the Gold League. | ||
| I think they have one above that called the Diamond League. | ||
| So like the players, if you were really good theoretically, you would rise up in the ranks. | ||
| And eventually you could get to the point where you became like... | ||
| People want to watch your games. | ||
| People want to start watching the games if they're really good players because you learn tricks from watching them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I like watching video games in general. | |
| I think there is a future for that because I was always a fan of when my friend would want to play a video game to sit there and watch him play. | ||
| Really? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I liked it. | |
| You can watch StarCraft too. | ||
| It's totally entertaining. | ||
| I can watch Quake games, Quake demos, but I don't think I would want to watch a game that I'm not aware of. | ||
| I've watched people play Battlefield Earth or one of those fucking... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Battlefield. | |
| Is that what it is? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Battlefield. | |
| I've watched people play that. | ||
| It looks like fun, but it's not exciting to me because I don't play it. | ||
| You have to play the game to be excited about watching a video of it. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| Otherwise, it just seems like insanity. | ||
| That's what I always say about pool. | ||
| Nobody wants to watch pool on TV. You know what does well on TV for pool? | ||
| Trick shot shows. | ||
| Those stupid trick shot shows, which I can't even watch. | ||
| I have it set up on my DVR to record pool shows, but whenever there's a trick shot show, I get annoyed. | ||
| I don't care what they're doing. | ||
| It's not a game. | ||
| It's not a real game. | ||
| The only reason why I like it is because I play pool. | ||
| If you don't play pool, you'd be like, what the fuck stupid shit are you watching? | ||
| You're watching some idiot shoot round balls out of other round balls and knock them into holes, and you get excited when it goes in a hole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you talking about basketball? | |
| No, pool. | ||
| That too. | ||
| Same shit. | ||
| Any game, really. | ||
| If you don't play them, you could admire great feats of physical athletic ability, like when a guy can jump through the air and slam dunk a ball. | ||
| But if you don't play it, you don't give a fuck. | ||
| If you play it, then it becomes something you're like, how would I have gotten out in that game? | ||
| How would I have dealt with his zergs? | ||
| How would I have, you know, and then... | ||
| Well, that's the thing. | ||
| When you play it, you're learning. | ||
| You're kind of like watching it and getting tricks, and you know how you're going to apply it. | ||
| It's so complicated, though. | ||
| Oh, it's incredibly complicated. | ||
| I mean, it's very complex, but there are some simple, basic things that just mimic any battle. | ||
| I mean, it's very similar to like real skirmishes and stuff because you're having to be deceptive. | ||
| You're having to use deception. | ||
| You don't want them to understand what setup you're using initially. | ||
| Like in the very beginning of the game, you'll send out a scout to go into their base, and you'll look, and you'll be like, oh, shit, man. | ||
| It's only been like a second. | ||
| They've already created a spawning pool. | ||
| That means they're going to do a Zerg rush. | ||
| Okay, you're killing me with all this, too. | ||
| No, I'm sorry. | ||
| I'll shut up. | ||
| I'm hooked. | ||
| Yeah, but the only people that can understand what the fuck you're talking about is people that actually do it. | ||
| I mean, you can sort of follow it along, but I mean, it just seems like so fucking complex. | ||
| It's complex. | ||
| It's a complex game, but it's the first in what I think is going to be this entire new generation of these types of games. | ||
| And I really think it's going to grow and become like, I think eventually, 10 years down the road, They're going to have an ESPN for esports, where they're going to have leagues, and they're going to have teams. | ||
| Well, they already do in Korea. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Oh, in Korea, it's as big as football. | ||
| They have real professional players. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I wonder why it took off in Korea like that. | ||
| But yeah, they do have it here, but not like they do in Korea. | ||
| Especially Star Trek. | ||
| Starcraft, too. | ||
| Starcraft in Korea is bonkers. | ||
| I've watched big tournaments where they have audiences watching. | ||
| It's really crazy. | ||
| It just took off there for some reason. | ||
| Why are they so good? | ||
| Well, because they train. | ||
| They treat it like a real sport. | ||
| They have coaches, they train, they learn techniques and tactics and stuff. | ||
| Koreans are intense people, man. | ||
| Intense, man. | ||
| I grew up all around Koreans because of my Taekwondo background. | ||
| We were always nervous to fight Koreans, too. | ||
| If you had to fight Koreans in Taekwondo tournaments, everyone was terrified. | ||
| A guy would show up with his gi on, with a Korea on the back of it. | ||
| You'd shit your pants. | ||
| Like, oh fuck, he's a Korean. | ||
| They just were so intense and so much better at Taekwondo for a long time. | ||
| Eventually, Americans and a lot of the other countries caught up, but in the beginning, they were really far ahead. | ||
| It's so intense, man. | ||
| Korean people are so fucking competitive. | ||
| Dude, doesn't Korea have one of the fastest download speeds of any country? | ||
| I believe they do. | ||
| They're super high-tech. | ||
| All the Samsung phones, apparently, are made in Korea. | ||
| We were talking about the whole thing about sweatshops and shit like that. | ||
| Some of the parts, though, are still made in China. | ||
| But they make them in Korea. | ||
| Here's something interesting about Korea is that one of the number one podcasts on iTunes is a Korean podcast. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it's on Korean. | |
| You won't even understand it or anything. | ||
| And so I was researching, like, what the fuck is this podcast? | ||
| Because it keeps on being number one of all podcasts lately. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And what it is, it's like the Korean news is like Fox. | |
| It's like horrible, you know, just like biased news, right? | ||
| And so this podcast is supposedly like the daily show, but like for real news. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And it's gotten so big. | |
| And finally, the Koreans are getting news from a different source that's a little bit more honest and a little bit more edgy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And for them, it's blowing up right now. | |
| Oh, wow, that's cool. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So it's kind of interesting. | |
| I wish I could understand it, though. | ||
| You know, I wish it was possible to translate it. | ||
| Wow. | ||
| But, yeah, it's weird. | ||
| That's pretty cool. | ||
| It's called, I think, the D-D-A-N-Z-I-S. The Danzis or something like that. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| That's pretty interesting shit, man. | ||
| Yeah, we take it for granted. | ||
| As censored as our media is, we're still doing way better than a huge chunk of the rest of the world. | ||
| That's true. | ||
| But what do you think about this fucking Occupy Wall Street thing, man? | ||
| Because this is... | ||
| People are actually getting mad at me for not talking about this. | ||
| And I've had people get mad on my message board, mad at me on Twitter. | ||
| People are very passionate about it. | ||
| I've been retweeting things left and right. | ||
| Retweeting videos, retweeting all kinds of things about it. | ||
| And I've been trying to formulate an opinion on it. | ||
| And first of all, it's very exciting. | ||
| And what's exciting is that it seems like for the first time in my life... | ||
| That I can remember, people are standing up to the government, standing up to the federal bank in a giant way. | ||
| Huge. | ||
| I've never seen this before. | ||
| I've never seen just droves of people in the streets sleeping there, staying there. | ||
| Cops losing their fucking shit, man. | ||
| Cops freaking out because of stress and punching people. | ||
| Have you seen these people getting maced and all this shit that's going on, man? | ||
| White shirts. | ||
| Yeah, dude, they're becoming white shirts. | ||
| People are calling. | ||
| I never heard cops called white shirts before, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
White shirts. | |
| Now that's what I hear. | ||
| A white shirt punches a female protester video on YouTube. | ||
| They're violent. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're watching it. | |
| Is that what it is? | ||
| The white shirts are violent. | ||
| The white shirts are the ones who are higher up and they seem to be... | ||
| Feel more entitled. | ||
| Yeah, the videos coming back that I've seen, it's always a white shirt. | ||
| And they're kind of like fucking... | ||
| Thug fat. | ||
| They've got that thug fat. | ||
| You know what I'm talking about? | ||
| They're like bell shaped or something and they just like fucking pop people in the face. | ||
| By the way, whoever that cop is, what a bitch ass right hand you have, dude. | ||
| That was a terrible punch. | ||
| It was all like down. | ||
| It was the worst. | ||
| You had no technique and as a professional fight commentator, I was appalled. | ||
| Like Dexter. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Dexter. | ||
| I gave up on Dexter because he had a shitty rear naked choke. | ||
| John Lithgow had a shitty rear naked choke and some girl gave up on the whole season. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That show's done for me almost. | |
| You're done? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm giving you a couple more episodes. | |
| This season's been sloppy, bad acting, bad editing, bad writing, bad everything. | ||
| Yeah, you can only do a show for so long until you take yourself too seriously. | ||
| Yeah, that's right. | ||
| No shows ever last. | ||
| That's the cool thing about the BBC is they'll just do it. | ||
| They're like, it's only going to be one season. | ||
| Tell the story in a season. | ||
| It's not going to be based on whether it's popular. | ||
| We do it and tell the story and that's it. | ||
| And so you get more quality shows. | ||
| You don't get this shit where they extend and extend and extend and then... | ||
| It ends up petering out in a crappy way. | ||
| Well, the crazy thing is that we take those BBC shows, redo them with American class, make them much more mediocre. | ||
| And ruin them. | ||
| And they go on forever. | ||
| Yeah, they just stretch out, go on fucking forever. | ||
| For years and years and years. | ||
| But dude, I watched the fucking Walking Dead 2 episode 1. Or rather, Walking Dead season 2 episode 1 today. | ||
| Damn! | ||
| It is so good! | ||
| Every time I watch that show, I end up curled up in my fucking chair like, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! | ||
|
unidentified
|
The zombies in that show are so fucked up. | |
| Yeah, that's a legit show. | ||
| You know what else is a legit show? | ||
| What? | ||
| American Horror Story. | ||
| Oh, is that good? | ||
| FX, yeah, I just started watching that. | ||
| I'm going to start watching that. | ||
| Yeah, it's good. | ||
| Creator of Glee. | ||
| It's creepy as fuck. | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Is it really? | ||
| Yes, it is. | ||
| Wow, well, he went deep. | ||
| Dude, this is... | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's cool. | |
| They're doing shit, but you can't... | ||
| I don't want to... | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| No, I won't say... | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, I don't say... | |
| Listen, I won't tell anybody because it's a real recent show, but they do some shit that I've never seen people do on TV where I'm like, wow, you can do that now? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Kill somebody with blowjobs? | |
| It feels kind of Twin Peaks-ish or something. | ||
| Yeah, it's freaky. | ||
| It's kind of David Lynch-ish... | ||
| Is it gay? | ||
| No, no, it's scary, man. | ||
| It's interesting, man. | ||
| I like it. | ||
| Dude, but to get back to the Occupy Wall Street thing, it's fucking insane how it's spreading all over the globe right now. | ||
| Yeah, not just in America. | ||
| It's spreading everywhere. | ||
| It's funny how many videos people have taken up. | ||
| What are you doing over there? | ||
| Sorry about that. | ||
| I got the Mayan calendar here. | ||
| I'm clutching it as we talk about the revolution. | ||
| You know, people are always trying to marginalize things like, did you ever see those videos that there's a really funny guy made with Sarah Palin's people waiting in line for a book signing of Sarah Palin and he's interviewing them in Columbus, Ohio. | ||
| And they're all almost retarded. | ||
| They have no idea what she stands for. | ||
| They have no idea what's wrong with this country. | ||
| They're hooked into the cult of personality. | ||
| So it's clip after clip of him interviewing these people and these people just being completely fucking clueless. | ||
| And I've seen a few of those where people have done that about the Occupy Wall Street movement. | ||
| Where they sit down with some young kid and they take the kid and they... | ||
| You know, they catch him on some facts and they, you know, they show, school him about corporate taxes. | ||
| You know, this is like one snotty guy with an English accent and found one dumb dude. | ||
| But I can't believe that that's the only person you ran into, stupid. | ||
| That's the video you made? | ||
| You went down there, there's a hundred thousand people sleeping on the ground screaming at these fucking cunts and whores who've been ruining and poisoning our financial system and all you can find is this one guy. | ||
| That's your depiction? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It's weird, right? | ||
| Well, they want to sabotage me. | ||
| Breitbart was down at Occupy LA. You know who Breitbart is? | ||
| He was down at Occupy LA. I was there with a friend of mine. | ||
| Heidecker. | ||
| Tim Heidecker. | ||
| We went down there together and fucking passed Breitbart on the street. | ||
| You know who Tim Heidecker is? | ||
| Tim and Eric show. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| I love that show. | ||
| And this is one of my favorite shows. | ||
| We're walking down the street, and not a name drop, I'm only saying it because this seems really out of character if you know that show. | ||
| Walking down the street, past fucking Breitbart and Heidecker, I didn't even recognize him, Heidecker, no hesitation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like, hey, Breitbart, you piece of fucking shit! | |
| Get the fuck out of here, you fucking piece of shit! | ||
| Screaming at Breitbart, like, instantaneously pissed. | ||
| Breitbart's like, yeah, yeah! | ||
| Heidecker's like, you dope! | ||
| He caps it off with you dope, but it was so awesome to see. | ||
| I'm like, dude, what the fuck? | ||
| There was no filter. | ||
| It was like when my dog sees a squirrel. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It was just this instantaneous, you motherfucker! | |
| Why is Breitbart such a piece of shit? | ||
| Well, because he slants his stories. | ||
| He got in trouble recently because this black lady is in charge of some form of housing or something. | ||
| I can't remember the exact thing, but she was giving a speech. | ||
| And talking about how there was a white family that needed some kind of financial help from this organization. | ||
| And she's like, you know, they're white and I didn't want to help them. | ||
| So that was the first, remember that? | ||
| And then the next part is her being like, but then I realized I should help them. | ||
| But Breitbart only puts up the part where she's like seemingly a racist. | ||
| That gets her fucking fired. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| And then they tried to rehire her, but she wouldn't go back. | ||
| She's like, fuck you if you're gonna fire me for some bullshit that Breitbart pissed up on the internet. | ||
| What she actually said was that she realized that it's not about who's black or who's white. | ||
| It's about who needs things and who needs help. | ||
| It was like a lesson. | ||
| She was talking about when she was younger or earlier in her life, how she thought about things, but now she realized differently. | ||
| She was just talking about growing as a human being. | ||
| If you don't start off perfect, you have to shoot yourself in the fucking head. | ||
| You can't have ever been a racist when you were younger or said racist things because you were being insensitive or dumb or conditioned by your environment. | ||
| The idea that people can't Can't grow. | ||
| It's gross. | ||
| But then that mollusk, Breitbart, that human fucking slime, he feels okay. | ||
| That's just creating evil. | ||
| To me, if you want to believe in evil, that guy Breitbart is an example of that, where you can rationalize showing a skewed depiction of something that you've seemingly intentionally put up there to fuck someone over and to try to push your agenda ahead Well, that's just basic internet journalism. | ||
| I mean, the internet, that's what you do. | ||
| You take a section of something, put a dot, dot, dot, take it out of context, and you can put it on an article and have that be something that someone finds, and then they'll read your stupid site. | ||
| Let's help people do it. | ||
| People do that in MMA reporting, they do it in everything, man. | ||
| Well, that's fucked up. | ||
| Of course it's fucked up, but that's how it's done. | ||
| Right, I mean, that's the problem. | ||
| You watch a fucking news... | ||
| What he's doing, though, in that one situation, what he's doing, it's especially sleazy, because someone exposed themselves to him in a really introspective way. | ||
| where she was honest about her own shortcomings and realized the right thing to do and did the right thing. | ||
| So when someone exposes himself like that and sort of does it in a way where they're trying to let you know how they think in a better way and that that's the right way to think, and then you just take a little snippet of that and make them look like a cunt. | ||
| Like that's just a shitty human move. | ||
| That's a shitty thing for a human to do. | ||
| Well, he's a tarantula. | ||
| And the fact that people like that are allowed to carry on, the fact that people like that are allowed to continue to spread their poison and lies and filth throughout the world without anyone doing anything to stop it. | ||
| Like fucking Glenn Beck. | ||
| Did you see that quote by Glenn Beck saying that Occupy Wall Street protesters are going to drag you out of your homes or something? | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, people were tweeting. | ||
| Well, listen. | ||
| They will. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| He's right. | ||
| You think they find a banker's house? | ||
| You think when they get a fucking giant group of them and there's one cunt that got $100 million in the bailout and he got his giant parachute reward for whatever for fucking over X amount of people and they know he's right behind some gates in New Haven, Connecticut or wherever the fuck they'd be. | ||
| I guess Bridgeport. | ||
| That's where all the rich people live. | ||
| Dude, yeah. | ||
| People are going to go after that guy. | ||
| Of course they are. | ||
| This is a mob, man. | ||
| This is a mob. | ||
| It's not a bad thing. | ||
| It's not a bad thing. | ||
| There's way too many drum circles in that mob to be dragging bankers out of their house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think a lot of them are enjoying it. | |
| You say that. | ||
| You say that. | ||
| But, look, no one's doing anything violent, and I'm not accusing anyone of doing anything violent. | ||
| What I am saying is that if there was one guy's house... | ||
| And you knew that this one guy was responsible for a lot of evil fucking shit. | ||
| And a lot of people lost their homes. | ||
| And a lot of people became homeless. | ||
| And a lot of people lost their life savings. | ||
| And this guy is prospering. | ||
| Are you talking about the president? | ||
| Are you talking about the White House? | ||
| No, I'm talking about better, the people who pay the White House. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Well, you know, man, I don't know. | ||
| I think that you definitely have got to... | ||
| At some point, if you really do want to have a revolution, you're going to have to... | ||
| You know, maybe do a little dragging out of houses here and there. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| You know, like if that is what you want, I just think that we're, I don't know that this is, but I don't know. | ||
| I mean, the crowd psychology, it really could spread and perhaps, that's the weird thing about this kind of, like very tiny little, in the grand scheme of things, the very first We're seeing the spark of revolution. | ||
| We're seeing a fire of freedom. | ||
| It's a fire that springs up when people are being oppressed, and it's a beautiful thing to see. | ||
| It's a beautiful type of fire, and it's a very dangerous type of fire, and it's killed millions of people throughout time. | ||
| But, you know, when you see the very first spark of it like that, and you think, holy shit, There could be, living among us right now, the future's equivalent of George Washington. | ||
| There could be, right now, living among us, the first post-revolution leader. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Someone right now, if this shit spread and there was a coup... | ||
| Listen, you don't want to put that thought out there. | ||
| The cult of personality and some wacky motherfucker think he's going to be the next Jesus. | ||
| The beautiful thing about this whole Occupy Wall Street is there's no leader. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing. | ||
| This is a hive mind conclusion. | ||
| It's way better this way. | ||
| Your idea sucks. | ||
| The idea of having one new George Washington cunt, one new shithead. | ||
| Listen, fuck all those leaders. | ||
| We don't need leaders. | ||
| We all know what's right. | ||
| We all know what's right. | ||
| And what's right is that this system sucks. | ||
| Once this system gets broken down, then they need to come up with a new leader. | ||
| Joe, rise to power. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
| Take the throne! | ||
| They need someone who's done a lot of mushrooms. | ||
| That's what they need. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| Well, they need a group of people. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
| Here's a fun thing to think about. | ||
| It's fun to think about, okay, let's say that Obama and the entire government get their feelings hurt by Occupy Wall Street, and they're like, all right, you guys, here are the keys. | ||
| Come on in. | ||
| Run the show. | ||
| And you are one of the people that gets picked. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| What do you do? | ||
| How do you redo things? | ||
| What are the steps you take to redo things? | ||
| Do you get rid of the Federal Reserve? | ||
| I guess that's the first thing. | ||
| That would be like saying, here, clean out Ted Bundy's car and you can drive it. | ||
| That's what that would be like. | ||
| Why would you want to take over this crazy fucking organization? | ||
| This organization that has deep, deep roots in criminal behavior and murder all over the globe. | ||
| Yeah, but if you... | ||
| You're just going to take over and what? | ||
| You're going to make everything... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Oh, instead, we're going to drop lollipops and flowers on everybody and pull out of all... | ||
| What are you going to do, though? | ||
| You wouldn't even... | ||
| How the fuck... | ||
| Like, you remember you were talking about StarCraft? | ||
| Talking about all different things you have to manage and click on this and click on that. | ||
| Imagine trying to run the United States of America, the military-industrial complex and its deep, deep, deep roots into the financial system and the CIA and the NSA and the fact that the CIA is essentially a shadow government, a government inside the government that does everything, including murder people. | ||
| It's all of it. | ||
| It's like you try to take over this? | ||
| That's what I'm saying. | ||
| How could you? | ||
| So what's the answer? | ||
| Well, the answer is you would never get... | ||
| First of all, you can't have access to all the fucking top secret information until you become the president, right? | ||
| And even then, we don't know what the fuck they really tell you about. | ||
| So you would have to go there and then learn everything that the American public doesn't learn. | ||
| Learn everything about what we're doing in Beirut. | ||
| Learn everything about what we're doing in Israel. | ||
| Everything that we've got going on in Pakistan. | ||
| You would have to fucking be abreast of all of it if you were really the leader. | ||
| I'm not even saying one leader. | ||
| I'm saying, imagine if... | ||
| But I'm saying it's impossible to fix. | ||
| I'm saying, what would you do when you get in there? | ||
| So if it's impossible to fix, then what's the next best solution? | ||
| It has to be an internet-based system. | ||
| We have to have a system of government that's through the internet because through the internet people can really communicate. | ||
| You can have civilizations and you can have communities on the internet. | ||
| I have a community. | ||
| The Rogan Board. | ||
| It's a community on the internet. | ||
| And we've established clear patterns of behavior in that community. | ||
| And you know, it's hard for any message board when you have a bunch of people to keep people in line, keep people cool. | ||
| But generally speaking, that message board is pretty filled with interesting people, cool conversations, and if you're a cunt, they throw you in the retard room. | ||
| And there's a special... | ||
| It's like an observatory. | ||
| Yeah, the holding cell. | ||
| And then you get a pink name, and you can only talk with the other assholes. | ||
| It's like all the assholes get lumped in together. | ||
| That is a community. | ||
| And that's a community where you have just a few people running in, and people get upset that the few people that are running it are being too, you know, they're... | ||
| Closing things down and yelling at people and abusing power and then you have to scale things back and you have to make some sort of a happy medium, a happy community where everybody agrees. | ||
| And the only way to do that in our world right now, the thing that makes the most sense to me, is the internet. | ||
| Because the internet is a way that everybody has... | ||
| A fair shot at communicating who they are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| You have a fair shot of expressing yourself. | ||
| You have a fair shot at agreeing and disagreeing. | ||
| I think it's the Reddit system. | ||
| I think Reddit's figured it out with the upvote system. | ||
| It's some version of that. | ||
| Perfect. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perfect. | |
| Something like that. | ||
| Yeah, that's very similar to what I was talking about. | ||
| Like, having a message board, having an online community. | ||
| You know, real-life communities, of course, you've got to deal with a lot of different shit. | ||
| It's a lot more complicated. | ||
| But I think the idea that we can run the world Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But don't you think we're still going to have a problem with, like, the same reason why you look at, like, in the middle of the country, there's still going to be people voting for Annoying Orange, you know, in those stupid, annoying videos where you see on YouTube, and you're like, how does that have 90,000 hits? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who's watching this movie? | |
| And so you have the majority of the people, you know what I mean? | ||
| Yeah, I see what you're saying. | ||
| You know, look, the real issue is we're all trying to pretend that everyone's equal. | ||
| And everyone's not equal. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're just not. | ||
| We're not equal of mind. | ||
| We're not equal of body. | ||
| We're not equal of chance. | ||
| We're not equal of opportunities. | ||
| We're not. | ||
| It's a random hodgepodge of human beings. | ||
| And because of that, people are very hesitant to admit that if you were going to make a really big, important decision, there's some people that shouldn't be included in that The fallacy being the majority is always right. | ||
| Right, yeah. | ||
| Especially in a country that's been babyfed, like this motherfucker has, for the last few decades. | ||
| We've been babyfed. | ||
| There's no fights here on our soil. | ||
| We get attacked once. | ||
| And we go all apeshit and create two wars with people that never touched us and somehow justify the entire thing. | ||
| Meanwhile, we're attacked by suicide bombers. | ||
| The people that attacked us are dead on impact. | ||
| And yet we still branch out all over the globe. | ||
| This is our one thing. | ||
| We've been baby-fed our whole existence. | ||
| So for us... | ||
| So it's some kind of like, so the idea would be, and by the way, I'm not expecting you to invent some new form of government right now on a podcast, but it's a fun thing to think about. | ||
| Like, okay, so it's like some kind of upvote system, but that still implies a majority still making the decision. | ||
| It's always going to be hard. | ||
| It's always going to be hard. | ||
| There's no perfect way to do it, but I think you can develop a good... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Make the voting system be really expensive. | |
| What the fuck? | ||
| Why would you do that? | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| Make the voting $50 a month? | ||
| I lost my train of thought because of that. | ||
| How dare you? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| But what I'm saying is the dumber person doesn't have the high-paying job, so they can't... | ||
| No, that's not true. | ||
| There's a lot of fucking real idiots that are really rich. | ||
| You'd be amazed, dude. | ||
| Business owners. | ||
| I've had emails with business owners. | ||
| Where they send me emails and I'm just like, you thought that's the spelling of that? | ||
| Right. | ||
| You know, or what the fuck? | ||
| This guy has like 100 employees, you know? | ||
| Some people are just ambitious, but they're idiots. | ||
| They're just fucking... | ||
| They figure out a way to bulldog their way through things, but they're still stupid as fuck. | ||
| Like this Herman Cain character. | ||
| He's a Bible-believing Christian. | ||
| He wants to be the king. | ||
| Oh, dude, let me tell you this. | ||
| I was going to tell you before the podcast. | ||
| You know, Herman Cain has been quoting, and man, if you pull it up, it's a funny quote. | ||
| Sometimes in his speeches, a couple of speeches, he's like, to quote a A special poet. | ||
| And he quotes Donna Summers. | ||
| He says it's a poet. | ||
| He quotes Donna Summers. | ||
| And what he's quoting is the theme song that she wrote for the Pokemon movie. | ||
| So Herman Cain is quoting Donna Summers from a Pokemon movie. | ||
| Yes! | ||
| What is the message? | ||
| Can you look it up, the thing? | ||
| It's not even like that smart a statement. | ||
| It's like stupid. | ||
| You can play the song. | ||
| If you look up the song on YouTube, you'll find a video with like Pokemon dancing around. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Alright, here it is. | |
| A poet once said, Life can be a challenge. | ||
| Life can seem impossible. | ||
| But it's never easy when there's so much on the line. | ||
| That's Donna Summers from the Pokemon movie. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Economic engine moving. | |
| By putting fuel in the engine, all of the rest of it won't matter. | ||
| A poet once said, life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it's never easy when there's so much on the line. | ||
| We have a lot on the line. | ||
| Now, look up Donna Summer's Pokemon and play the musical version of what he quoted. | ||
| And do you know his tax plan? | ||
| You know about his tax plan, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
He wants to tax... | |
| 9% 999 is his tax plan and it's the same tax plan from SimCity. | ||
| So he's quoting Pokemon, and his economic system is based on SimCity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Does he have kids? | |
| No, he's got grandkids. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I bet he was just sitting there going, I like what she just said right there. | |
| Now how am I going to do it as a Bible-believing Christian? | ||
| What are some tenants? | ||
| SimCity worked for me. | ||
| It's amazing, man. | ||
| And also the fact that he said that thing about the poet, not knowing someone's just going to do a simple Google search and the Pokemon theme's going to come up. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, he probably is. | |
| Maybe he's a Pokemon player and he thinks that's cool. | ||
| If he was a Pokemon player, he would get my vote. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That would be awesome. | |
| Yeah, I would vote for him right away if he played Pokemon. | ||
| But Joe, the other thing I was telling Brian, his tax plan, Ermin Cain's got this tax plan, 9%, 9%, 9%. | ||
| But you know where that comes from, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| SimCity. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Or Devil Worshippers. | |
| It's the same tax plan they use in SimCity. | ||
| EA's really excited about it because it's their basic tax plan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Are you serious? | |
| Look it up. | ||
| Look up. | ||
| Ermin Cain, SimCity. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's funny. | |
| So he got his plans from video games? | ||
| Pokemon and SimCity were two major influences on who may be the Republican presidential candidate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I am voting for him. | |
| He's just a guy they're moving into position to take the black people away from Obama. | ||
| The black people can have a different alternative to support someone that's intelligent. | ||
| I mean, they went through an amazing time. | ||
| First black president ever. | ||
| Incredibly articulate and intelligent. | ||
| But now, you know, Most people in this country are disappointed with Obama. | ||
| They say his approval rate is some ridiculously low, like 30% or something. | ||
| That's an asshole. | ||
| So that's 70% of the people. | ||
| That's a lot of black people out there. | ||
| They're disenfranchised. | ||
| And their idea is to use this Herman Cain guy and go, look at this. | ||
| We got a very intelligent, hard-nosed guy who's super successful, made his way to the top all on his own. | ||
| Yeah, a business owner. | ||
| He owns Godfather's Pizza. | ||
| Are you serious? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I am voting for this guy. | |
| That's the best pizza ever. | ||
| Shit, Godfather's Pizza. | ||
| That's all you need. | ||
| If you want a retard like Brian. | ||
| Diary on bread. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seriously, did you guys have Godfather's growing up though? | |
| No. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, it's delicious. | |
| Is it? | ||
| What? | ||
| Dude, I had Nicky's Pizza in White Plains, New York. | ||
| It was right down from Executive Billiards. | ||
| It was the best fucking pizza on the planet. | ||
| You gotta have real East Coast pizza. | ||
| The water's different. | ||
| Pizza out here is just not the same. | ||
| People say that. | ||
| It tastes pretty good here. | ||
| It tastes good. | ||
| I had a friend. | ||
| It's still good. | ||
| I had a friend who would order pizzas from New York, and there's special services that will rush pizzas that are on dry ice from New York to you. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa. | |
| So he ordered one of these pizzas. | ||
| He said it was terrible. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's places in Los Angeles that ship the water over here. | |
| Yeah. | ||
| I think Boston Pizza does that, don't they? | ||
| They ship it from Boston. | ||
| Isn't that weird that there's a difference in the water? | ||
| Yeah, it is weird. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck is the difference? | ||
| I didn't know it was the water. | ||
| I thought it was something else, like the barometric pressure. | ||
| They say bagels are no good out here either. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| It could be moisture in the air, too. | ||
| It could be a lot of things. | ||
| It's the fluoride in the water. | ||
| It's probably not so fucking good to be living in an oven like this. | ||
| No moisture in the air. | ||
| Whenever you go to Houston in July, you go, oh, wow, this is what... | ||
| It's like to be in wet air. | ||
| Wet, damp air. | ||
| Well, I'll tell you this. | ||
| If you didn't know anything about the planet and someone flew you around the planet and said, where do you want to live? | ||
| You're not going to be like, hey, what's into that giant yellowy cloud of smog? | ||
| I think I want to live there. | ||
| That overpopulated thing festering with yellow smog. | ||
| Let's live there. | ||
| I don't want to live around all this green shit. | ||
| Well, that has nothing to do with the climate anyway. | ||
| People aren't living... | ||
| People are living here for the industry. | ||
| That's why you live here. | ||
| Well, the industry's here because there's not that many rainy days. | ||
| That's why they first moved the movie business here. | ||
| They're like, Jesus, we got this one spot where it never gets ridiculously hot. | ||
| Phoenix gets stupid hot. | ||
| Phoenix cracks it up even more than L.A. So it's a little bit cooler than Phoenix. | ||
| It's by the ocean, and it never rains. | ||
| Oh, but think of that fucking ocean. | ||
| Once I went down to Venice Beach on a whim and went swimming in Venice Beach, I was pissing out of my asshole, man. | ||
| I got so sick from swimming. | ||
| There are people swimming there. | ||
| There are people at Venice Beach floating in the waves, having a great time. | ||
| Fucking diapers floating by. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's filthy water. | ||
| I'm an idiot for swimming in it, but it's disgusting. | ||
| Not to mention they do these measurements of the amount of feces in the sand. | ||
| It's a beach at the edge of a massive city. | ||
| And all that water runs in there, all the fucking chemicals, and God knows what weird shit. | ||
| Old fucking decomposing hookers and just nasty shit rushing out of the city. | ||
| Dead rats and fucking hypodermic needles. | ||
| I'm surprised people swimming at Venice Beach don't just immediately dissolve in the water. | ||
| It's disgusting. | ||
| It's probably good for your immune system to swim there. | ||
| It's like a challenge. | ||
| It's like lifting weights for your immune system. | ||
| If you did it all the time, you'd probably never get sick. | ||
| You could just go and swim anywhere, man. | ||
| Well, maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You've got to go up the coast anyway. | ||
| If you're going to go out in the water around here, you have to get away from population density. | ||
| What do you think about that garbage patch situation? | ||
| That's a scary thing. | ||
| The garbage patch in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. | ||
| I think there's more than one now. | ||
| The Guyer, whatever they call it. | ||
| The North Atlantic Guyer. | ||
| There's a weird name for it. | ||
| This is just dead water. | ||
| Nothing's living in it. | ||
| No, I'm talking about the garbage patch. | ||
| Yeah, they have a weird name for it. | ||
| There's a name for it. | ||
| They call it a gyre. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I'm talking about where all the garbage from all the different countries pools up into one big pocket. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, I know. | |
| And it's all swirled together. | ||
| It's like rubber duckies. | ||
| But there is a different thing with dead water. | ||
| They've had mass fish die-offs. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| We're talking about the same thing. | ||
| Okay, we are. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| So what we're talking about is this big slick of, I mean, not even, it goes below the surface, deep below the surface, of plastic. | ||
| It's like the size of a state. | ||
| Like, it's enormous. | ||
| It's like Texas-sized. | ||
| And it's just the one spot where, and a lot of it is like broken down, because apparently a lot of it is plastic. | ||
| And after a long time in the ocean, all this plastic is broken down to just like this gooey, sloppy fucking shit, man. | ||
| And it's an enormous area that is covered in garbage. | ||
| The people who discovered this and then the people who've been investigating it, the scientists, were horrified. | ||
| I mean, what a crazy discovery to find out that You know, when you go, wow, these people are living right next to the ocean, and the ocean seems to be okay. | ||
| No, the fuck it does. | ||
| No, there's giant patches of all people's bullshit that they've thrown in there. | ||
| Yeah, it just rolls into the middle. | ||
| And no way to fix it, either. | ||
| My mom has some property on this little island off the coast of Georgia, and it's kind of empty out there. | ||
| You go walking on the beach there, because no one's there. | ||
| You go walking on the beach there, and the shit that comes up on that beach... | ||
| it's like dude it's the weirdest fucking thing cuz it's like bottles from Jamaica and like well like there was we found like one of those old like refugee rafts that somebody had like fabricated together just kind of twisted and washed up there it's so fucking weird how interconnected everything is via the ocean at It's really, really strange that the currents just carry like... | ||
| Coconuts. | ||
| It's fucking... | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| It's like people love to live under the illusion that we're not all connected. | ||
| That's one of the things that people really like to believe that there's no interrelation between what you do and the rest of the world and what the rest of the world does and you when the truth of the matter is we're completely connected in every single fucking way. | ||
| We're all one big thing Pretending that it's made up of individuals. | ||
| And the result of that kind of thinking is you get fucking a giant patch of dead water in the middle of the ocean. | ||
| And that's not affecting other things. | ||
| God knows what that's affecting. | ||
| Having that much dead space that used to be alive and filled with... | ||
| Fish and dolphins and whales and God knows what else. | ||
| It's just dead space. | ||
| I used this quote in the last podcast, but I'll say it again because you're here, because it's the perfect quote. | ||
| Some guy said that the human race and the way it deals with the environment and the resources is like people that are living in a 10-story building. | ||
| And every day, you go down to the first floor and you pull a couple bricks out. | ||
| And then you get on the roof and you start building another floor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| That's amazing. | ||
| It's okay for now. | ||
| But we all know that eventually it's going to fall apart. | ||
| This shit isn't going to work. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Time of summer. | |
| Pokemon. | ||
| Pokemon quote. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Pokemon quote. | ||
| That's who's running for president. | ||
| He's never going to be president. | ||
| That's a joke candidate. | ||
| It's like Sarah Palin. | ||
| It's like an entertainment candidate. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Well, he's talking crazy. | ||
| When you start talking about his 7-7-999, whatever the fuck it is, tax plan. | ||
| 999. Everyone looks at that and goes, get the fuck out of here. | ||
| It's going to cost people more money. | ||
| It's going to cost them 99% more money. | ||
| This is stupid. | ||
| They're going to save money. | ||
| The 1% are going to pay less. | ||
| You're supposed to pay more than 9% taxes when you've got billions of dollars, man. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Time to move to Canada. | |
| Time to move to Canada. | ||
| But this guy is a real, like, no-nonsense sort of extremist character, right? | ||
| You gotta be extremist. | ||
| See, that's another funny thing is, like, people right now, that's an insult. | ||
| That's what they say when they're trying to discredit someone. | ||
| He's an extremist. | ||
| But it's like, is a fireman that's in a house... | ||
| With a sledgehammer bashing down doors to get your kids to pull them out because the house is on fire, that's an extremist too. | ||
| He's got to be a fucking extremist. | ||
| He can't go into the house and kind of piddle around and be like, oh, sit down and watch some TV, and then I'll go get your daughters out. | ||
| So what is your point? | ||
| My point is that right now, the overpopulation, the fact that there's so many people on the planet and that there's horrific wars happening, people have nuclear weapons, maybe it's a time where people need to be extremists. | ||
| So you need to be Herman Cain? | ||
| Oh, no, not Herman Cain. | ||
| That's what you're talking about. | ||
| Oh, I thought you were talking about the guy who gave you that awesome quote about taking bricks out from under the house. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Man. | ||
| Sorry, I got lost. | ||
| I was trying to follow you. | ||
| I was like, I don't know what you're saying. | ||
| Like suddenly I'd become a supporter of Herman Cain. | ||
| No, I just didn't understand. | ||
| I thought you were being ironic. | ||
| We need Cain, Joe. | ||
| I was just not getting it. | ||
| No, I'm sorry. | ||
| I got confused. | ||
| Yeah, well, yeah, we certainly need something different than now. | ||
| And you keep saying like as if there's a leader. | ||
| If there's one person that's going to pull it off. | ||
| And I keep saying that. | ||
| I think that's one of the coolest things about this whole... | ||
| Occupy Wall Street thing is because I don't think there's a fucking leader. | ||
| There's no leader. | ||
| You can't arrest one person and then the whole thing shuts down. | ||
| There's not one figurehead. | ||
| There's not one voice. | ||
| I've heard Janine Garofalo talk about it, but she's not the voice. | ||
| Who's the voice? | ||
| There's no voice. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I mean, there's different people who've got really smart... | ||
| When I went down to Occupy Wall Street, there are these guys who have a podcast called Red List Radio, and they've like... | ||
| It really explained a lot of shit about the Federal Reserve and quantitative easing to me in a way that really helped me understand it. | ||
| I'm not saying it needs some central leader, but I think it definitely can't hurt to have some nodes that are aggregators of whatever the information coming in is, which we already kind of have with Reddit. | ||
| You can go on Reddit and get good up-to-date information on OWS and stuff. | ||
| I think it's evolving. | ||
| I think it's going to evolve into something, and eventually there will be, there's got to be someone, if you don't want it to just be a chaotic mass, unless you believe that there's some kind of gestalt that's going to happen with this group of people that's going to somehow harmonize and create some kind of, | ||
| there's going to be an effect, some kind of weird effect from all these people having sort of the same idea, then Cool, but someone still has to be like, here's what we'd like to see changed. | ||
| Here's what we want to have happen. | ||
| And they are doing that. | ||
| They're saying, you know, abolish the Federal Reserve. | ||
| That's one of the things they want to have happen. | ||
| They want to tax, well, there's different versions of this, but tax like stock transactions or tax Wall Street. | ||
| There's like, they want to do that. | ||
| I think they want to tax the, well, I don't know what they all want. | ||
| You can't say what they all want because they all don't want that. | ||
| But there is stuff that keeps bubbling up about their basic demands that does seem to be mostly... | ||
| Well, the real question is, what is this going to accomplish? | ||
| That's the real question. | ||
| That's why it's so exciting to me, because this is a period of uncertainty. | ||
| It's really obvious that people are pissed off. | ||
| It's really obvious that the cat is out of the bag. | ||
| Everyone knows this is a corrupt system. | ||
| It's horribly, horribly corrupt. | ||
| The Congress is corrupt. | ||
| The Congress is bought and paid for. | ||
| The President is bought and paid for. | ||
| Everyone's bought and paid for, and no one's doing anything to stop any of this fucking hoarding that's going on. | ||
| The fact that Obama, when he gave the bailouts, was trying to limit their rewards to $500,000. | ||
| You remember that? | ||
| As if, well, they need more than everyone else. | ||
| We'll limit them to $500,000. | ||
| No, it should be they get nothing. | ||
| None of them get anything. | ||
| If your fucking company needs to get bailed out, you don't get to get rewards. | ||
| You don't get huge, giant fucking corporate payouts because it's in your contract. | ||
| No, your contract doesn't exist. | ||
| There's no fucking business anymore. | ||
| It's all done. | ||
| You cunts, you stole all the fucking money. | ||
| You guys robbed. | ||
| You don't get a big bonus for that, you fuckhead. | ||
| Do you think this is part of the global awakening that everyone has been predicting forever, this kind of transitional shift in consciousness? | ||
| Yes, I think so. | ||
| Obviously, right now, the financial system is insanely complicated. | ||
| I've tried many, many times to sit down and truly wrap my head around stocks and bonds and dividends and shorting. | ||
| I've given it a real good Solid auditing of how the whole process works. | ||
| And it's fucking insanely complicated. | ||
| There's so many players and so many pieces and so many things. | ||
| And just the idea behind confidence raising and lowering the value of something and stocks climbing and falling and the whole thing being alive and mobile and constantly fluctuating. | ||
| It's like, what the fuck is this? | ||
| What the fuck? | ||
| What the fuck do you got going on here? | ||
| This is what we're running our system on? | ||
| We're running the money of our system on this crazy, unpredictable, sporadic, fucking pulsating, changing thing. | ||
| Numbers, ups and downs, and so, bye! | ||
| This chaos is the foundation of our society. | ||
| I'm like, wow, that's kind of nutty. | ||
| That shouldn't be that way. | ||
| The society should be much more stable. | ||
| I understand that people have gotten insanely wealthy through this situation. | ||
| And they don't want to change it because they get good at it and they know how to continue to be insanely wealthy through this situation. | ||
| But that ain't right, man. | ||
| It's supposed to be based on something. | ||
| It's supposed to be one piece of gold equals one donkey. | ||
| That's the easy way for us to do it. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You start getting into stock markets and dividends. | ||
| I understand there's a need for credit. | ||
| I understand there's a need for a lot of things. | ||
| I understand there's a lot of shit that's going on where it's going to be weird, where people are holding money and saving money and putting money here and zeros there, but it's got to be a way more simple system than the system we have now. | ||
| Because there's too much room to fuck with it. | ||
| There's too much room for shenanigans. | ||
| It doesn't have to be the system we operate under. | ||
| The system we operate under should be simple and stringent and should be really easy to follow. | ||
| And that's way easier said than done, but that's what we really need to do. | ||
| Well, yeah, it's definitely, that's a big part of it, but there's like a thing underneath that too, which is that the people have got to start learning that buying constantly thinking that you need to have new shit Yeah, that's bad. | ||
| But you know what's worse? | ||
| Interest. | ||
| You know what's worse? | ||
| This idea that a credit card company can charge you 30 fucking percent of your money. | ||
| This idea that interest for the longest time was illegal. | ||
| It was against the law. | ||
| You couldn't ask for interest. | ||
| But people... | ||
| What I'm saying is... | ||
| For hundreds of years. | ||
| Those credit card companies... | ||
| And again, this is like... | ||
| I know right now this is a long way away. | ||
| Maybe it'll never happen. | ||
| But that couldn't function. | ||
| Credit card companies couldn't function if people... | ||
| Had learned to gain pleasure from things that wasn't based on matter. | ||
| Well, that's sort of silly, because when were they... | ||
| Are they allowed to buy things? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| What if they don't want to have a fucking stack of money on them? | ||
| Then credit cards are good. | ||
| No, you can totally... | ||
| Like what Brian said. | ||
| He grew up poor and he wants to get an Xbox and all that stuff, but I think that as people start getting smarter and start evolving, what... | ||
| Hopefully will happen is people will be able to distinguish, overcome this idea that they're going to be happier if they have a really nice car. | ||
| You are correct. | ||
| However, I think you're naive in your portrayal of what credit cards get used for. | ||
| I think most people, especially people who have families, they use their fucking credit cards to eat. | ||
| They use their credit cards to put gas in their car. | ||
| They use their credit cards to pay for things so they don't have a big pile of money. | ||
| It's not simply a matter of the entire country is filled with materialists that have overstepped their boundaries. | ||
| No, there's people out there struggling, dude. | ||
| And that's what they use their credit card for. | ||
| And it's not saying, if you didn't have a credit card, you'd be better off, because you wouldn't be a materialist. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| I know exactly what you're saying. | ||
| I know it seems naive. | ||
| But it is... | ||
| I'm saying, like, you're addressing the external manifestation of an internal problem that's existing in our culture as an idea of what it means to be happy. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's what I think. | ||
| And I know people need credit cards now to pay for their family and all that stuff. | ||
|
unidentified
|
To pay for other credit cards. | |
| To pay for other credit cards. | ||
| But I know a lot of people, their lives have gotten to the point where they get in this fucking car that they use credit to buy to drive to a job... | ||
| To drive two hours, a two-hour commute to get to a job where they have to work all fucking day long, and then they come back in the two-hour commute completely exhausted, and they think this is the way we're supposed to be living. | ||
| That's no way to live. | ||
| That's a terrible way to live. | ||
| You're right, but what's the alternative? | ||
| Well, I think the idea is to begin to open yourself up to the alternative. | ||
| Clearly, it's something to do with staying more local, like having communities of people. | ||
| I'm not saying let's go back to villages, Joe, but I'm saying there is something to be said for communities of people that are living close together and doing more than just waving at each other when they walk down the street. | ||
| But that's a broad solution for a singular problem that a person has if they are stuck in that sort of situation. | ||
| When is the solution for a guy who does have credit And does have a fucking car and does have a mortgage and has a family and is driving fucking an hour and a half every day to go to work. | ||
| What is the solution for that guy? | ||
| Because it's not a village. | ||
| It's not like moving to a village. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, no, no. | |
| I mean, the solution for that guy is to, like, start, you know, working his way out of those fucking handcuffs. | ||
| Right, but that's the real problem that most people find themselves in. | ||
| Most people find themselves in a situation where they make barely enough money to get by and not nearly enough money to break free. | ||
| To step away, especially if you have children. | ||
| A lot of people, when they came to the United States, there were intentional communities that happened. | ||
| I had this great book on utopias where people were coming here. | ||
| People came here, like the pilgrims, they wanted to start religious utopias. | ||
| That's what they were trying to do, is restructure society in a way that they could live in a In paradise, in a kind of Christian-based paradise. | ||
| It clearly didn't work. | ||
| It turned into this. | ||
| So what you'll hear, it's the same thing you hear about communism when you hear about people saying they want to create another society or experiment with a new way to live. | ||
| People are like, it doesn't work. | ||
| You can't do it. | ||
| Making these alternative communities doesn't work. | ||
| There's no way. | ||
| They always fall apart. | ||
| They always collapse. | ||
| They end up like Waco or whatever. | ||
| But I think there is a way to do it. | ||
| I don't know yet. | ||
| I haven't gotten high enough yet. | ||
| I haven't eaten enough mushrooms yet. | ||
| But I do think that there is a way to do it. | ||
| I don't know what it is. | ||
| I think it has to be a small number of people. | ||
| I think when you get over a certain amount of people, there's a thing called diffusion of responsibility. | ||
| If there's 300 people there, you're more likely to get raped than if there's three. | ||
| Because there's 300 people there. | ||
| All those people think someone's gonna help. | ||
| Someone's gonna step in. | ||
| Someone's gonna step in and help. | ||
| But no one does. | ||
| And they don't feel responsible because there's so many other people there. | ||
| Well, no one did. | ||
| I didn't step in, but no one did. | ||
| If it's just you and that one person getting raped, you feel obligated. | ||
| You have a responsibility. | ||
| You're a human being and you're right there. | ||
| When we get past the diffusion of responsibility number with human beings, which is exactly why we all should have a real philosophical problem with drones, And wars overseas with people that we don't understand and we don't know and we don't know why we're doing this. | ||
| It's easy when it's so many people and it's so far away. | ||
| It's way over there. | ||
| But if it's right here at home, then it hits you fucking hard. | ||
| Then you feel that responsibility. | ||
| The weather underground. | ||
| Bring the war back home. | ||
| Human beings, I think, are still designed in a system. | ||
| Our minds function in a system that works with a small group of people where we know everybody. | ||
| When we branch out of that, we are not designed to deal with The internet, like communicating with people in complete anonymity. | ||
| Why do you think people are such fucking complete rabid cunts online? | ||
| Well, because they're frustrated in their everyday life, and when they get online, they have this anonymity, and they can just lash out at people and fuck with people and score points, and they actually enjoy it. | ||
| They get off on it. | ||
| Do you think we could ever get to a point where we could be, like, every state is their own country, like how it should be, you know, like how it is, kind of, like you have your state laws, but have less of a nation government. | ||
| They're just there to protect us. | ||
| You would say that, but we fuck with too many other countries, man. | ||
| You need national security. | ||
| Yeah, but they won't do that, because then they start fucking putting you in situations. | ||
| Look, Eisenhower warned about the military-industrial complex, and it sounds like some, you know, Alex Jones sounds like some nutty shit when, you know, you start talking about the idea that people are trying to go to war for money. | ||
| But they fucking are, man. | ||
| And the only way to keep people in war is you have to force people. | ||
| You have to fucking make them go attack people. | ||
| You have to ship them over to different places. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know, when you have a bunch of states, if every state really was like its own country, and the United States didn't act as a whole, it wasn't out there fucking around with all those different parts of the world, we wouldn't have, you know, it would be a completely different setup. | ||
| Well, it seems like that would make a lot more sense, though, because it seems like it's too fucked up on a large scale that breaking it down into 50 pieces would be the only way to really save any, you know, get any kind of order from it. | ||
| The only way to get any order out of it is it's got a Break down and then be rebuilt properly. | ||
| That idea is an idea that I teeter on. | ||
| I don't want it to break down. | ||
| I don't want it to break down either. | ||
| I don't want the fucking thing to collapse. | ||
| I like my life and I like it here and I don't want the power to shut off. | ||
| But I consider it and I keep thinking like, well... | ||
| Probably it's going to require some kind of blip at that level for everything to get better. | ||
| But I love letting my mind consider, like, okay, but what if there's another option? | ||
| Well, the other option is technology. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's it. | |
| The other option is there's going to be, this is what I, if I had to guess what I think is going to happen, barring natural disasters or any extreme world conflict that becomes nuclear, What's going to happen is we're going to have some sort of a connection through online communication that literally allows people to look inside each other's heads. | ||
| Yeah, that's what I think. | ||
| I've thought that. | ||
| Do you think the same way? | ||
| Oh, fuck yeah, man. | ||
| I've thought that. | ||
| I've thought it's the ultimate... | ||
| Yeah, what it is is it allows you to experience another person's consciousness. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| It allows you to even be inside another person's mind. | ||
| And then we all can link up as one mind And that's not That's not nearly as difficult as it sounds When you think about what we've already been able to do The fact that we can send video Through the fucking sky You know, when I was in Australia My wife was sending me pictures of the baby And she sends me pictures of the baby And I get them in a second Blip, blip, blip Images, photos, video. | ||
| It's fucking craziness, man. | ||
| The idea behind it is insane. | ||
| You can send a fucking picture and somehow or another it goes through these... | ||
| Where does it go? | ||
| It goes through the air and then eventually it hits some fucking metal box. | ||
| It's got electricity and it sends it to the other side of the fucking planet in a second. | ||
| Through the ocean and over the sky. | ||
| How the fuck is it even getting there? | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I have no idea, but I know it was there. | ||
| Bink! | ||
| And that, to me, is way crazier, way crazier than the ability to experience someone else's consciousness. | ||
| You experience your consciousness, right? | ||
| You tune into your own consciousness. | ||
| You're there. | ||
| You're inside your head. | ||
| How do we know it's not just a simple frequency? | ||
| You just tune into it, and your mind and my mind lock up together and become one consciousness. | ||
| Well, that's a funny moment, too, because what would happen is that as this technology began to spread, it would start off in a laboratory where one scientist would merge minds with another scientist, and that would change their lives forever. | ||
| Just merging minds with one person in a real way It's going to forever change you because you'll know how similar you are to someone else. | ||
| You'll know if maybe you're completely different. | ||
| Maybe this person is actually happy in your whole life. | ||
| You've been lying about being happy to yourself and suddenly you feel someone who's really happy and you're like, oh shit, that's what it feels like. | ||
| That's what real happiness feels like. | ||
| And then you know how to become happy yourself. | ||
| So what would happen is it would spread from the laboratory. | ||
| It would spread out. | ||
| But eventually, people would rise up against it. | ||
| They'd be like, don't plug into the mind. | ||
| If you plug into the mind, you won't want to come back. | ||
| You won't be able to come back to your life. | ||
| People would fight it. | ||
| It would be a form of suicide. | ||
| Because after you've experienced consciousness at the scale of like the merged minds of like 15 million people... | ||
| How are you going to come back to your one little mind? | ||
| It would just turn into these pods of people. | ||
| You'd be like, just get out of my head, you freaks. | ||
| I gotta go beat off. | ||
| What are you gonna do? | ||
| You're gonna beat off into the hive mind? | ||
| Fuck yeah, the sex. | ||
| There'd be huge orgies online. | ||
| It would probably be just some massive orgasm. | ||
| Also, think of the learning. | ||
| I don't know how to do jujitsu, but I merge consciousness with someone who's an expert at it, and suddenly I'm like, learn everything that they know about it. | ||
| Everyone would instantaneously gain the information of everyone else. | ||
| Everyone would become experts simultaneously and that would create like a surge forward in evolution. | ||
| I think that's that fucking singularity McKenna's talking about. | ||
| Everybody's like, the computers are gonna crush us! | ||
| It's like, no, that's not what it is. | ||
| We're just gonna merge with them. | ||
| We're gonna become part of an electronic web of consciousness and the moment everyone becomes an expert That's the moment that, you know, with our minds together, that's when you create the time machine, or that's when you create teleportation, or that's when you create some new form of life. | ||
| It seems like it's inevitable. | ||
| Inevitable. | ||
| And it is inevitable. | ||
| You said this to me once, Brian, about the human brain. | ||
| You said it's input-output. | ||
| It's like, all we have to do is figure out what the fucking output is of this electricity up in your brain. | ||
| Understand how that works. | ||
| Figure out a way to input that into a machine where it can decode it. | ||
| And then you've got it. | ||
| Then you have electronic telepathy, and they're already sort of learning how to identify certain patterns in the brain. | ||
| You know how they can do a brain scan on someone and show them a picture of a room and tell if they've been in that room or not? | ||
| Do you know about that? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's pretty crazy, isn't it? | ||
| It's fucked up, man. | ||
| It's fucked up if you want to try to get away with something. | ||
| That's incredible. | ||
| You've been in here before. | ||
| You're like, no, I haven't. | ||
| Never seen it before. | ||
| No, you definitely have. | ||
| We can tell. | ||
| The next step is, okay, can we extract images from a person's mind? | ||
| We've talked about this before. | ||
| Images and video. | ||
| They've already done this. | ||
| That's it, man. | ||
| It's really crude right now. | ||
| It still looks pretty good. | ||
| It looks kind of like if you were to blow up an old cell phone video from 1991 or something like that and blow it up big. | ||
| So yeah, it's inevitable. | ||
| So then the next step, of course, is going to be perfecting that technology. | ||
| And then the next step is going to be like, okay, so I know that when someone's feeling happiness, then this is the part of his brain that gets activated. | ||
| So now all I've got to do is record that activated part of his brain, play that video back inside someone's brain, figure out a way to stimulate someone else's brain with that same activity, and boom! | ||
| Instead of fucking... | ||
| There'll be emotional records. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Instead of like record players, they'll be like these emotional devices where it'll be like the feelings of a summer day. | ||
| I don't even know if we're going to get that indulgent, man. | ||
| If we all link up, I think the link up is probably going to be before the recording. | ||
| I think the link up is probably going to come first. | ||
| I'm hoping. | ||
| I'm hoping it doesn't just become a self-indulgent wine fest that people get together and... | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| They'll be recording. | ||
| Drink and watch people experience breakups. | ||
| A terrible breakup. | ||
| It's all memories of breakups. | ||
| They go through it on purpose. | ||
| Oh my god, I went through the worst breakup last night. | ||
| My husband came home. | ||
| It's not your husband. | ||
| It's his fucking thing. | ||
| Okay, but in the program, my husband came home. | ||
| We had four children together. | ||
| We were struggling. | ||
| And he was running off to Mexico with his secretary. | ||
| And I was devastated. | ||
| And he said, let the kids starve. | ||
| I don't give a fuck. | ||
| And he left me. | ||
| It was horrible. | ||
| And he hit me. | ||
| And he fucked me. | ||
| And then he left me. | ||
| People will write reviews of them. | ||
| If that was a real memory, people would cry, and they would go, oh my god, you want a good cry? | ||
| You have to try this. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There wouldn't be award shows for best breakups? | |
| Wasn't there a movie about this? | ||
| Of course there was. | ||
| There was underground tapes of it and shit. | ||
| I think it's definitely going to get to that place. | ||
| I can't wait, man. | ||
| Well, the idea, if you can see something, okay, if you look at something and then that registers as an image and you can see that image on a computer, what about your imagination? | ||
| What about, is it possible to see, I mean, you're not seeing anything, but what's being registered when you are having a visual experience in a dream? | ||
| What exactly, where is that registering? | ||
| It's registering in your imagination, I guess. | ||
| Is there a frequency that can be tuned into, just like it is with that image when you see it from the eyes, is there a frequency that can be tuned into it? | ||
| Yeah, must be. | ||
| Must be, right? | ||
| It's got to be. | ||
| I mean, definitely something's happening. | ||
| There's some biochemical reaction that's happening that's producing the effect of you watching fucking Werewolf 69. It's going to all boil down to... | ||
| We're just going to slowly break down the matter of reality itself. | ||
| That's what we're at right now. | ||
| You know, McKenna described what's going to happen with the exponential increase in technology, that it's like a funnel. | ||
| And that if you spin a quarter around the lip of the funnel, it takes a long time to go around a circle. | ||
| But as it gets lower and lower in the funnel, it picks up speed and goes faster and faster and faster. | ||
| And that's really what it's like. | ||
| It takes just a millisecond to make a full revolution now, whereas before it was years ago. | ||
| Yeah, it's going to be, and we're experiencing the very, very beginning of that. | ||
| And it's weird how a lot of that is coming out in the form of cell phones. | ||
| Do you think that that's too convenient? | ||
| What? | ||
| That the world is going to change and the reality itself is going to change during the time of your life. | ||
| Do you ever stop and think that, wow, maybe this is a work of fiction? | ||
| Well, no, I don't. | ||
| I can't think it's a work of fiction because this year, if you watch technological advances, this fucking year, this year, for the first time as far as I know, because I know phones have had voice recognition technology, but this year, for the first time in human history, Now we have a device where you can talk to it like a person. | ||
| I don't think you understand what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm saying life itself, a work of fiction. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, right. | |
| Like, this is too convenient. | ||
| This story is all playing out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, I see what you're saying. | |
| Oh, fuck. | ||
| That so much of it seems so bizarre, and so much of it seems so fake, and... | ||
| Speaking of Breitbart, he's the one who busted Andrew Weiner for showing his cock. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| These wars, this economy occupy Wall Street rising up just as you're getting older. | ||
| Just as your body's slowly starting to slow down and you're checking your heart for weird things every now and then and meanwhile everything's picking up overseas. | ||
| There's more war. | ||
| And then we might go to war with Iran. | ||
| It's almost like as your life becomes more and more complex and reaches the inevitable end, your story is getting more and more complicated. | ||
| Your story is getting more and more involved. | ||
| Your story, the story of the world that you live in, this work of imagination that whoever the fuck is hearing this has created. | ||
| And each one of us has created our own little version of it. | ||
| And they're all intertwined inexorably in some just crazy, meshy matrix of reality and thinking and love and peace and anger and bullshit and all intertwined together. | ||
| Just signals, just ones and zeros flying around through fucking space. | ||
| And as you get further and further along, your version of it just gets more and more fucked. | ||
| The point where you can't drink the water anymore and the sky's fucking brown and pollution and earthquakes and war and krakens. | ||
| Krakens? | ||
| Krakens. | ||
| They found evidence of a kraken. | ||
| Oh, and that's the dinosaur bones. | ||
| Yeah, they believe at one point in time there was a giant motherfucker of an octopus. | ||
| They have fossils of imprints of giant... | ||
| Suction cups. | ||
| It's one of the things that led them to believe this. | ||
| And the dinosaur graveyards that were clearly arranged the same way octopuses arrange, or octupi, arrange their kill. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, and so they think that, you know, the idea that sailors are always afraid of the kraken. | ||
| That might have been a real animal at one point in time, but it was a soft-tissued animal, like an octopus is. | ||
| So when it's gone, it's gone. | ||
| It doesn't leave any evidence. | ||
| Yeah, so you think that that's novelty. | ||
| That's like McKenna's novelty. | ||
| Stuff like that popping up is like... | ||
| Because McKenna talked about how... | ||
| I'm thinking that this whole thing might be someone's imagination. | ||
| It might be your imagination. | ||
| It might be my imagination. | ||
| It might be a combination of everyone's imagination. | ||
| I mean, things are real. | ||
| There's real laws to this life. | ||
| But goddamn, it operates like a work of fiction. | ||
| Well, yeah. | ||
| It does kind of seem like that. | ||
| It does seem like you'll run into someone that you haven't seen in a long time, and you've thought about them, and it's just the odds of running into them. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But people will quote statistics, and people will try to talk you out of thinking that way, and they'll tell you, well, I went through my entire life, and I'm real, and you didn't just think me up, and I have a... | ||
| Memory of my childhood and I'm really good at football and I learned how to play that over years and years of hard work. | ||
| So I'm not a part of your fucking imagination, pal. | ||
| I'm a real person. | ||
| You might be a part of your own imagination. | ||
| You might be creating your thing with your imagination as I create mine with mine, and they intertwine. | ||
| It's not either or. | ||
| You know what this reminds me of, and stop me if I've already said this before, but did I ever talk about the idea of what would happen if the universe suddenly gained consciousness out of nothingness? | ||
| Did I ever talk about this idea I had when I was tripping? | ||
| It's like, so like, because I was thinking like, okay, what would happen if the universe woke up all of a sudden? | ||
| Nothing was here. | ||
| It was nothingness. | ||
| Pre-Big Bang conditions, right? | ||
| The universe wakes up. | ||
| Pure consciousness. | ||
| Pure fucking consciousness. | ||
| No differentiation. | ||
| Just consciousness. | ||
| Just pure awareness, right? | ||
| No body. | ||
| No body. | ||
| But infinitely conscious of itself. | ||
| Completely aware. | ||
| Now, I was thinking, like, the initial reaction to that sense of being aware that you're nothing, that you're nothingness, it's this weird resonance. | ||
| It would create horror, is what it would do. | ||
| It would create this anguished terror from waking up and realizing you're here, you're some primordial thing, and then that terror would be- Why? | ||
| I don't get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why? | |
| Why would that be terror, especially if you don't have a body and you have no ego? | ||
| Where's the terror? | ||
| The terror comes from, this idea came to me when I was thinking like, what would happen if something fucked up and my consciousness got trapped in like a table or something like that? | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Oh my God, how high were you? | ||
| I was tripping. | ||
| I was on LSD. And I was thinking, because I was looking at, this is when I was in science class. | ||
| And I still remember, I was tripping in high school. | ||
| I had my head in my arms. | ||
| And I was looking at the fucking table. | ||
| And for a second, it felt like my consciousness had shifted into the table and was kind of like trapped there. | ||
| But isn't that a school of thought, that everything has a consciousness? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We've talked about it several times that planets may very well be some sort of a super organism that can't express itself in movement to us, so we don't think of it as a living thing or as a conscious thing. | ||
| But the whole planet might have a type of consciousness. | ||
| Well, imagine this. | ||
| Let's just put into this weird idea, the idea that this infinite consciousness had some ability to experience consciousness. | ||
| Aloneness. | ||
| You know, loneliness, aloneness. | ||
| It was just by itself. | ||
| That's ridiculous because that's a human idea or an animal idea. | ||
| And the only reason why you have this feeling of needing to be with someone is because that's how you fucking stay alive and don't get eaten by jaguars. | ||
| It's built into our system. | ||
| My point is... | ||
| You're attaching like these human thoughts to the universe. | ||
| We're the universe. | ||
| We are the universe. | ||
| Humans are the universe. | ||
| Right, but we're obviously here with a task. | ||
| We are obviously some weird little crazy button-pushing monkey with a task. | ||
| And this need for this task has ingrained into us all of these really needy characteristics that you can't associate gods with having. | ||
| I'm not saying gods at all. | ||
| I'm saying... | ||
| Universal consciousness. | ||
| The universe itself. | ||
| We are... | ||
| One inarguable thing is we're an extrusion of the universe. | ||
| That's what we are. | ||
| We're the universe extruding itself in the form of a thing that is capable of feeling loneliness. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Well, what you're saying is that the universe is everything, including people. | ||
| Yeah, of course. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's everything. | |
| The whole universe isn't just the planets. | ||
| It's not just the stars. | ||
| It's every organism. | ||
| Everything. | ||
| So we're a part of the universe. | ||
| And we're the universe experiencing itself in this specific way. | ||
| The universe has... | ||
| It's divided itself. | ||
| The universe has divided itself into a lot of shit. | ||
| And part of that shit is feeling. | ||
| Lonely, pain, suffering, angst, horror, happiness, joy, all of it, it is the universe experiencing itself. | ||
| There's no way to deny that. | ||
| Unless you think humans aren't part of the universe, unless you think you're some kind of thing that's distanced or outside of everything else, you are You are infinity sticking its head into this little bubble of whatever this place is and feeling. | ||
| So what I thought was maybe what fucking happened was this consciousness, well what did happen is we do know it exploded. | ||
| We don't know if there was something before the Big Bang, but we do know it blew up. | ||
| Something exploded. | ||
| So I was thinking maybe it had some kind of fucking nervous breakdown. | ||
| It shattered into a bunch of fucking infinite pieces of which we're one part. | ||
| We're part of that. | ||
| What we are is one tiny little broken shard of the universe that blew up a long time ago. | ||
| And it's like... | ||
| What I considered, what I thought would be like this initial state of absolute horror, I think everyone in their own lives, in their own way, is dealing with it in a very small level. | ||
| The fear of death, the fear of merging back into the nothingness, the fear, all that stuff manifests in your life as fear and weakness. | ||
| And it's like, we're like tiny little fragments of the universe trying to fix itself on a minuscule level. | ||
| That's what I was thinking when I was tripping out. | ||
| I think of people in a different way. | ||
| And I think the reason why we have ego and desire and lust and greed and selfishness and, you know, any jealousy and all these issues... | ||
| They're all negatives and positives. | ||
| They're all pullers. | ||
| They're attractors to get us to do specific things. | ||
| And most importantly, to make sure that things stay in motion and that people continue to innovate. | ||
| They continue to want to produce things and continue to want to do things that are special. | ||
| So that they get attention or money or reward or pile up objects. | ||
| And I think that all these things, whether they're greed or selfishness or jealousy or fear or lust, all of them are essentially numbers or equations in a grand scheme of mathematical... | ||
| What's the word? | ||
| Not an algorithm, but like a program, like literally, like everything that exists, whether it's hot or cold or pleasure or pain or all these different things that the human animal and any other animal experiences are to guide that animal into a certain direction, To make sure the deer can keep breeding and staying alive to feed all the mountain lions, it's got to be difficult to catch. | ||
| It hears a branch snap, boom, the ears turn, they're very big, they pick up everything. | ||
| Why is all that there? | ||
| That's all that there is because that deer better be scared as fuck because that mountain lion can run fast, bitch, and you're going to get fucked. | ||
| So if you want to keep breeding, you want to stay alive, you have to be a scary cat little deer that freaks out. | ||
| All the shit that we have is designed to make us move in the way that we're moving right All of our fears, anxieties, greed, everything. | ||
| If I looked at it, I look at it as like a program. | ||
| I don't look at it as like the universe is going to feel fearful like we are. | ||
| It is fearful like you are if you're scared. | ||
| Consciousness is like we are. | ||
| I don't think that at all. | ||
| I think that we are moving in this very certain direction and we are influenced by these very certain feelings and energies and emotions because we have a goal to do. | ||
| We are here on some sort of a weird task of accomplishing something, taking probably most likely the human animal to the next stage of evolution, whether it's some sort of a symbiotic connection that we're going to have with computers, whatever it is. | ||
| but it seems to me to be progress and technology driven all of it all of it all the greed and lust and material possessions and everything everything that that fuels human beings and all this is this existential wanting you know that i think is because that's that's just like the bee swarming around the queen and making a beehive i think it's the same thing i | ||
| I think we're moving in a way that's far more complex and we have this illusion of free will and all these other things that are sort of guiding us to believe that there's a much more grandiose What is it? | ||
| What does McKenna call it? | ||
| A strange attractor? | ||
| Is that the idea? | ||
| So it's like there's a magnet in the future, and that's a dumb word for it, but there's a thing in the future that's drawing us towards it and causing us to organize as it pulls us closer. | ||
| It's an omega point. | ||
| Teilhard Deschardins is like There's a Jesuit priest talked about this too, which is that there's an organizing principle in the future that's drawing us towards it in this sort of like spiral that we're moving towards. | ||
| It's called death. | ||
| Yeah, but McKenna had a really interesting way of looking at it because McKenna's idea was that... | ||
| There is a foregone conclusion. | ||
| There is an end point that must be reached in that what this end point does is it makes things become more and more complex as they reach it until it literally manifests itself. | ||
| It's manifesting itself in our innovation, in human beings in general, in the massive explosion of change that we have in just a few thousand years have imparted on this planet. | ||
| Right now we're booting up. | ||
| The earth is a computer and it's booting up and it's about to go bong and then it's going to be the next thing. | ||
| I believe that but I think it's fascinating that The universe, as you are and as I am, an extrusion of it, talks about it as it's happening. | ||
| The universe is trying to decode and understand what's happening to it in the form of human philosophy, in the form of science. | ||
| Or maybe it just does like you do when you're Zen on stage. | ||
| Maybe that's what the universe does. | ||
| Maybe the universe is when you tune into your best moments and you just do. | ||
| You're just in that zone. | ||
| You become Zen. | ||
| Maybe the universe is just ultimate Zen. | ||
| The Tao. | ||
| The Tao, exactly. | ||
| And what we're doing, by tuning into it in little brief moments with brilliant music or a great book or an incredible movie or something that just locks into it, what we're doing is tapping into that groove that you hit when you truly hit anything excellent. | ||
| And that groove is the universe itself. | ||
| And that the universe is never scared and alone and all that. | ||
| That's silly. | ||
| It's super zen. | ||
| Why can you say, but it is? | ||
| How can you say that? | ||
| You don't know what the universe is. | ||
| No, I'm part of the universe. | ||
| I'm just saying. | ||
| Isn't it possible that your fears... | ||
| I can tell you this. | ||
| This little stretch of the universe here, sometimes it gets scared and feels lonely. | ||
| Well, this little stretch of the universe is its own little thing. | ||
| But it's still part of the universe. | ||
| But it's just a little segment that's got to accomplish. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Guys, guys, you could all be this. | |
| Shut up! | ||
| It's got a task. | ||
| You don't think that there's all sort of really pragmatic reasons for fears and for lust and for desires and goals? | ||
| I think the reason doesn't... | ||
| I think it seems like we're... | ||
| I don't know if it's a disagreement, but my conception of it is that... | ||
| Human beings, just like any other thing in the world, in the universe, in space... | ||
| Are part of the universe. | ||
| Part of the universe. | ||
| And as part of the universe, that means that the experience, the individual experience that you're having is a part of the universe having the experience. | ||
| Now, the reasons that you're having the experience don't take away the fact that you're experiencing it. | ||
| So what I mean is if you're happy... | ||
| Then you are one tiny little pixel of the universe experiencing happiness. | ||
| If you're scared, you're one tiny little pixel of the universe experiencing fear. | ||
| Well, that sounds like a nice cop-out to not be a pussy. | ||
| You're like, oh, I'm not really a pussy. | ||
| It's the universe. | ||
| The universe is being a pussy through me. | ||
| No, yeah, that's hilarious. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What I am while I'm crying is not a pussy. | |
| That's what I used to always say. | ||
| It's the universe making me land! | ||
| What I'm saying is that you automatically associated the universal consciousness with fear and terror. | ||
| And I think you're justifying it in a backdoor situation by saying that you're a piece of the universe. | ||
| We're talking about the universe being one consciousness. | ||
| We weren't talking about any human beings existing. | ||
| What do you think is the predominant... | ||
| If there's no goal that the human being has to achieve... | ||
| And if there's no conscious awareness of the temporary existence of its lifespan because it's not a lifespan, it's not alive. | ||
| It is universal consciousness that is the universe. | ||
| Why the fuck would it be scared? | ||
| That's my point. | ||
| Well, I think the predominant mood on this planet is one of fear. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| I can't disagree more. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I think people are freaked out. | ||
| No, man. | ||
| Some people are freaked out. | ||
| Part of people are freaked out part of the day. | ||
| But if you add it up 24 hours in the day and all the people, most people aren't. | ||
| It's not fucking Mad Max out there, man. | ||
| It ain't that bad. | ||
| Oh no, but Mad Max, that kind of fear would be better than the kind of fear that's infected people these days. | ||
| The kind of fear that's infected people these days is far worse than fighting some fucking Max bandit with a flamethrower. | ||
| The fear that people experience and... | ||
| Okay, what fear? | ||
| Define. | ||
| What fear are they experiencing all day? | ||
| Turn on the fucking... | ||
| Watch the commercial. | ||
| Okay, is it all news, man? | ||
| No, not the news. | ||
| I think a lot of people are out there having a good time. | ||
| I've met them, man. | ||
| We were in Ontario, California this weekend. | ||
| Had a great fucking time. | ||
| I meet people having a great time, too. | ||
| It's not... | ||
| The predominant mood is not fear. | ||
| Fear is an element in this world. | ||
| No doubt about it. | ||
| I think people are... | ||
| I think a lot of people are... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Scared. | |
| Yes, but they're also happy, and they're also horny, and they're also drunk, and there's a lot of different room on the dial. | ||
| There's room on the dial for all these different emotions. | ||
| To say the predominant one is fear... | ||
| That's the primary spot. | ||
| In this country, really? | ||
| I think in this country, man... | ||
| Look, times are hard, just like all over the world. | ||
| Terror alert orange. | ||
| They don't even do that anymore, Brent. | ||
| But they did it for a long time. | ||
| Okay, but I think that people can dwell on that shit, and it makes it way worse than it really is. | ||
| I think for sure there's some fear out there, but to say that it's the predominant emotion of people that are living their everyday lives working and having sex and playing with their children and going to the movies, I don't think the primary one is fear. | ||
| I think it's in there, but I think... | ||
| Fear of death. | ||
| And it's definitely not as much as it was after 9-11, you know, and shit like that. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I think, if anything, it's great. | |
| You tend to lean towards the morose. | ||
| I do, indeed. | ||
| But you're applying these thoughts to the whole of humanity. | ||
| I don't mean it as a hopeless thing, though. | ||
| I don't mean it as a hopeless thing. | ||
| You don't mean fear as a hopeless thing? | ||
| Not at all. | ||
| I think you gotta acknowledge it. | ||
| Oh man, but you don't have to acknowledge it if you're just living life, enjoying yourself. | ||
| Go to Hawaii and see how people are just chilling at the beach. | ||
| Oh dude, do you know what it's like to live in Hawaii as someone living in Hawaii? | ||
| Look it up. | ||
| They call it like the golden cage. | ||
| It's so fucking expensive to live there that you have to work like two or three jobs if you're a native Hawaiian. | ||
| It's really tough there. | ||
| So, I mean, maybe fear is the wrong word for it. | ||
| What does that have to do with just chill out? | ||
| Well, no, there's people on the beach. | ||
| The culture is like a chilled out culture is what I'm saying. | ||
| I think there's tourists on the beach, but also like, listen, I feel like I'm, to defend myself, I feel like I'm driving deeper and deeper into a pessimistic place, and I think that maybe the way that I chose my words is like not exactly right. | ||
| You speak sometimes in absolutes. | ||
| And I think you chase down an idea, and I'm guilty as well. | ||
| You chase down an idea, and sometimes in chasing down that idea, you discard or discount possible other ideas that might interfere with the path that you're on. | ||
| You know, and that is something that a lot of people do. | ||
| I do it, too. | ||
| You know, it's... | ||
| Just to finish the thought, what I was trying to get at... | ||
| You're doing it right there. | ||
| You're doing it. | ||
| You want to dissolve the fucking... | ||
| Dissolve the fear, and underneath that... | ||
| Is love, I think. | ||
| Okay, what I'm saying is I don't think the universe has any fucking fear at all. | ||
| I think if the universe was a universal consciousness, one thing that knew everything and was by itself, I don't think it would tweak, you know, because I don't think it needs to be in the buddy system. | ||
| I think it's the fucking universe. | ||
| Well, the universe is okay. | ||
| I think that our fears that we have are all biological. | ||
| And all of our fears that we have about being alone and all of our fears about dying, they're all biological. | ||
| They're all just these fail-safe mechanisms designed to keep us running. | ||
| But the universe as a whole. | ||
| Okay, the universe as a whole. | ||
| I understand this point. | ||
| I'm not saying the universe as a whole is freaking out, but as individual units, definitely parts of it are freaking out. | ||
| Do you not understand that you are applying individual units to something that you initially said has no individual units? | ||
| The first thing you were saying was the universe would be nothing. | ||
| There was nothing there. | ||
| I'm glad you said this. | ||
| I'm glad you said this. | ||
| It lets me throw out an esoteric Hindu word. | ||
| So I'm happy that you said this. | ||
| Okay, what is it? | ||
| The word is, and I'm probably going to mispronounce it, the word is Asinka-Sinka-Beta-Tatva. | ||
| And what that word translates into is simultaneous oneness and difference, which is the explanation they give for the universe, which is its existing... | ||
| As an entirety, as a whole, as a gestalt, as one thing. | ||
| But also, while it's existing as this one thing, it's existing as infinite number of units that are making it up. | ||
| And so, those units that are making up the sum total, some of those units, their experience is one of fear, or one of anger, or the more negative emotions. | ||
| And whether or not this is a biological imperative, let's imagine humans didn't even exist at all. | ||
| off it's just squirrels then the the or animals then those animals are still parts of the universe experiencing uh this certain emotion right but isn't that just so that they can keep breeding isn't aren't these just electrical signals that trigger certain behavior patterns that allow them to continue to their little cycle on earth so whatever the fuck they're there for whether they're to cultivate the ground so that trees grow better So they complete their cycles to dig and aerate the ground. | ||
| Or whether they're the human animal that fucking sparks the atom that blows up the fucking earth. | ||
| Whatever it is. | ||
| That all these moves that they do. | ||
| There's no real fear. | ||
| It doesn't exist. | ||
| It's a charge on the game. | ||
| It's an influence on the game. | ||
| It's still... | ||
| I don't even know why I have to use the word fear. | ||
| Let's say it's like... | ||
| You know, orgasm. | ||
| Because the experience of orgasm is a chemical reaction that's part of some grand equation working itself out doesn't negate the fact that orgasms exist or that they're obviously real. | ||
| So it's a real thing. | ||
| You know, and whether or not we feel fear because we're in some predetermined thing that's working itself out or whether or not we feel fear because we're... | ||
| Well, fear is a motivator, man. | ||
| It's really simple. | ||
| We have a lot of investment in fear. | ||
| We have a lot of investment in love. | ||
| We have a lot of investment in all these things that are just motivators. | ||
| They push us in certain directions. | ||
| Keep us from things. | ||
| You learn from bark, bark, bark. | ||
| Animal can kill you. | ||
| Run away. | ||
| You're scared of dogs. | ||
| All these things exist. | ||
| They just move action. | ||
| They're just motivators. | ||
| I'm in no way trying to say that I understand the consciousness of the universe. | ||
| I'm in no way trying to say that I'm right and you're wrong. | ||
| What I'm trying to say is you automatically assume that the universe has fear because it has consciousness. | ||
| And I thought that was really telling. | ||
| I don't mean to keep going back to this point, but the reason I... Oh, right. | ||
| Oh, yes. | ||
| I see what you're saying. | ||
| The initial idea that the first thing that you would feel... | ||
| That's what you said. | ||
| You attached yourself. | ||
| What is that called? | ||
| Anthropomosis? | ||
| You think I projected my... | ||
| You think I made the ultimate... | ||
| Okay, so I get it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fear. | |
| I made the ultimate narcissistic error in projecting my own fear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I don't think it's narcissistic. | ||
| What happens when a baby pops out of a pussy for the first time? | ||
| They cry. | ||
| They freak out. | ||
| Yeah, it's because they change environments. | ||
| They fucking cry. | ||
| So in that same way, I think that when the universe first popped out, this universal consciousness, and I also must say that I do not know this. | ||
| Again, to go back to the original point I made, this happened while I was drooling onto my desk in a science class on acid. | ||
| But I think that the initial burst of the universe, that feeling, would be very similar to a baby crying. | ||
| What the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
What the fuck? | |
| And it would break into a billion pieces with that, what the fuck? | ||
| And that what the fuck is encapsulated in every single person. | ||
| And it's our life task. | ||
| And maybe this purpose you're talking about, maybe we agree on this point, it's our life task to turn that, what the fuck? | ||
| This is awesome. | ||
| This is amazing. | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| This is the best thing that could ever happen. | ||
| And maybe as that feeling begins to escalate inside of people, which are parts of the universe, then maybe it'll keep escalating and escalating and escalating so the universe goes into this like... | ||
| Amazing cascade into eternal bliss, eternal happiness, a bliss that we can't even imagine, that keeps exponentially increasing and increasing and increasing and increasing, and we're just one tiny node on this movement towards them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're both wrong. | |
| What's the answer? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| Prove me right. | ||
| Yeah, but you guys are just talking for like 40 minutes on stuff that you both can't be right or wrong about. | ||
| No, there's no right or wrong, unquestionably. | ||
| What's wrong with doing that? | ||
| My problem is, you as a person, I know you very well, and you lean towards fear. | ||
| You're a very intelligent person. | ||
| And intelligent people, for the most part, are more scared of things because you realize the variables. | ||
| And you think of life... | ||
| I think of the negative results. | ||
| Yeah, you were talking about people. | ||
| And by the way, folks sending mean messages on Twitter, no one's arguing. | ||
| We're just talking. | ||
| We're throwing these ideas around. | ||
| What are people saying? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Stop being a deuce. | |
| Let's dunk and talk. | ||
| You're not as open-minded as you sound, man. | ||
| We're throwing ideas. | ||
| No, this is fun. | ||
| I understand what we're doing. | ||
| We're throwing ideas around. | ||
| And I'm not saying that I'm right. | ||
| I'm fucking for sure not right. | ||
| But what I'm saying is you can't just say you know. | ||
| You can't say the universe has fear. | ||
| You can't say it's... | ||
| These subjects are so fucking twisted and bizarre that no one can have an absolute in one way or any other way. | ||
| But you know what? | ||
| They're so fun to talk about. | ||
| And that's something, Brian, you seem to like... | ||
| Check out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I hate what-ifs. | |
| You don't like it. | ||
| You're wasting your time trying to figure that out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, it's not true. | |
| It's like going back and forth. | ||
| It's not true. | ||
| You can't say it's wasting your time because it's very entertaining. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's entertaining, but there's no end to it because there's no answer to it. | |
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| Why does it have to have an end? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Because that's how my mind thinks. | |
| I want to figure out how shit works. | ||
| I don't want to fucking... | ||
| That's just wasting your time. | ||
| I'm not going to need to know what the secret to the life and universe is, if it has conscious, if it's like a baby popping out of a vagina. | ||
| How do you think you're supposed to be spending your time? | ||
| Trying to live in the now instead of living in something you'll never figure out. | ||
| But part of living in the now could be... | ||
| Yeah, but it's interesting. | ||
| It's fascinating. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's interesting, but there's no one's right or wrong, though. | |
| Yeah, but it doesn't have to be right or wrong. | ||
| That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, but that's just what I think. | |
| That's what I think. | ||
| So when you guys talk about what ifs, I just be like... | ||
| You keep away from everything really deep, though, even if it's not what ifs. | ||
| It's not deep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What ifs? | |
| It's just like making up stories that you think are right, which aren't, because you don't know. | ||
| Well, when you talk about a human... | ||
| No, man. | ||
| Listen, he's not just what-if-ing when he's talking about a human being being a representative of the universe because it's part of the universe. | ||
| It is true. | ||
| How is that a what-if? | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| I agree with that. | ||
| Absolutely agree with that. | ||
| But that doesn't mean that the universe has feelings. | ||
| The universe does have feelings because you're part of the universe. | ||
| Alright, if you say it like that, that means to sense, but that's what if you're calling it a universe... | ||
| That's what I was saying. | ||
| Well, you're part of the universe. | ||
| Well, it goes back to what I was saying about earlier. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's like a drum circle. | |
| Do you believe it's possible that we are all our own universe and that somehow or another this isn't something that you can bang on with a hammer? | ||
| It's not... | ||
| The whole world isn't the material world of things being solid, but there is some sort of a fictional aspect to life, and that it almost is like your imagination and your mind and your intent really does have some effect on physical reality, and that it almost is like your imagination and your mind and your intent really does have some effect on physical reality, and that all of our physical realities, although they seem to be the exact same thing that we're all inserted into, we all have our although they we all have our own unique oneness. | ||
| And that our unique oneness interacts with everyone else's unique oneness, which is why it's very important to surround yourself with positive people. | ||
| Then you surround yourself with a bunch of positive universes. | ||
| You create more and more positive energy. | ||
| More and more positive experiences. | ||
| More and more good things are happening to all the people around you. | ||
| More and more happiness is being interchanged between each other. | ||
| That's how you really make a real community, right? | ||
| Right. | ||
| Yeah, it's your association. | ||
| It's so important. | ||
| You're making a community. | ||
| You're making your own universe, man. | ||
| Did you... | ||
| Have you... | ||
| Practically and woo-woo-y. | ||
| Because practically, it's just a smart thing to surround yourself with good people. | ||
| But the idea that you don't... | ||
| We're not exactly sure with this fuzzy line between consciousness and unconsciousness and sleeping and dreaming. | ||
| It's all going on and on in one cycle. | ||
| But we're not exactly sure what... | ||
| Part of it we're playing all the time. | ||
| We have to hit on things to be sure. | ||
| How many times have you had dreams where you... | ||
| Oh, it's a dream. | ||
| How do you not know that knocking on things isn't a fucking dream? | ||
| The whole idea that you can dream. | ||
| The idea that you can imagine. | ||
| The idea that there's some... | ||
| Some mystical part of your brain that sees things that aren't really there and puts them into position and moves them around and gives you a little fucking cartoon light bulb. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bing! | |
| And then you write this down and you get together with a hammer and nail and some fucking wood and you create this thing that's never been created before. | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| This is something that's manifesting itself in a solid form that has come out of nowhere. | ||
| I have a feeling that whole nowhere is a real realm. | ||
| The realm of thinking, the realm of consciousness and imagination, just because you can't bang on it with a fucking hammer doesn't mean it's not a real realm, a huge part of the ingredients of life. | ||
| And I think that we only measure the shit that we can bang on with a hammer. | ||
| And we look at the way that people influence their lives. | ||
| You know, she got a tit job and look what she did to her lips. | ||
| We look at all the different things you physically do to the stuff that you can hit. | ||
| That's what we measure and we decide that that's the entire ingredient list of life. | ||
| And I don't think it is, man. | ||
| I think there's some woo-woo shit going on, man. | ||
| There's some woo-woo Deepak Chopra type shit going on that seems ridiculous. | ||
| You just can't measure it, man. | ||
| You know what they call, of course, the name for the universe is Maya. | ||
| You've heard the term Maya, of course. | ||
| Illusion. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Illusion. | |
| Sure. | ||
| And I think there's exercises in some yogic systems where you begin to try to deconstruct exactly what you're saying. | ||
| You start trying to find what is real. | ||
| What is real? | ||
| For example, this table. | ||
| Take the table, for example. | ||
| The table is only real in this moment right now. | ||
| If you were to look at the table through the... | ||
| And through the course of thousands and thousands of years, you would see this table was trees. | ||
| And before it was trees, it was seeds. | ||
| And before it was seeds, it was this combination of carbon molecules. | ||
| And you would see that this table is only existing in a very temporary transient moment in this one second. | ||
| It's almost liquid if you look at time. | ||
| It's just kind of wave, this undulation that's happening through time. | ||
| It just takes so long that we mistake it as a solid. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so we think, oh yes, this is permanent and this is real. | ||
| It's like, no, no, no, no, no. | ||
| This is completely impermanent. | ||
| You just happen to see it as real in this one second. | ||
| And so you begin to be like, okay, well, that's not real. | ||
| Then you begin to think, well, what about me? | ||
| Am I, what am I? And then you're like, oh, you're part of that fucking paint swirl too. | ||
| You're swirled in with a table right now. | ||
| You're swirled in. | ||
| And before you swirled into the human entity that you are, you are a bunch of other shit, you know? | ||
| You are ultimately like, they talk about how like parts of what's inside of us is from... | ||
| Supernovas and quasars and things exploding. | ||
| Stardust. | ||
| Stardust. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Well, you have to have a supernova to make the shit that make people, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You have to have some sort of a fucking explosion of a star. | ||
| That's the recipe. | ||
| And so when you start, instead of just theoretically talking about it like what you don't like, if you start really thinking, okay, well, then what does that mean for my life? | ||
| How am I supposed to start acting then if I realize that I'm just some infinite part of something else? | ||
| It's going to swirl back out into nothingness real quick. | ||
| What do you think the guy first felt when he realized that the sun has a lifespan? | ||
| The guy who first realized that eventually this fucker's going to go out. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, and he calculated how many billion years we have left. | |
| And then they figured out, you know, most suns only live to 500 million years. | ||
| Did you know that? | ||
| No, I didn't. | ||
| Yeah, I didn't know that either. | ||
| I thought, like, they're all billions. | ||
| Billions of years old. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's what I thought. | |
| No, no, no. | ||
| Most sons, 500 million years, or 500 million years. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| Yeah. | ||
| So we got an older son? | ||
| Yeah, we got a crazy, slow-burning son. | ||
| Some of them just fucking blast off. | ||
| Some of the really big, giant ones, man, they're just fucking... | ||
| They just rage for a few million years and then shut the fuck off. | ||
| Yeah, but some of them, a lot of them, die at 500 million. | ||
| So we're in a rare sort of a Goldilocks situation where life can get this advanced and get this complex. | ||
| 4.6 billion years or something like that. | ||
| This planet has been around and the sun is even older than that. | ||
| Pretty fascinating stuff when you really stop and think about it. | ||
| It's all got a lifespan. | ||
| Yeah, it's that level of thinking that you can begin to really start experiencing novelty again in your life. | ||
| Because I think people get shut off to that way of thinking. | ||
| They don't want to think like that and things can get boring. | ||
| It's like when you go outside on a hot day and you just think, I'm experiencing heat from a fucking thing in space. | ||
| This heat is radiating out of this thing that's so fucking hot it's making its way through space. | ||
| And changing my skin color a little bit, it can burn my skin. | ||
| To me, if I allow myself to think that way, things become so much more fascinating and interesting. | ||
| It's just weird, the stuff you choose to, not you specifically, that people choose to block. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, but that's not what you guys were talking about. | |
| You weren't talking about, hey, the sun makes you tan. | ||
| That's hot and that's nice. | ||
| I mean, I think everyone thinks about that. | ||
| When I'm thinking about the stuff where if you're trying to figure out what the universe is, if it's alive, it's doing this or that, that's all great and stuff like that, but you don't really have a knowing answer. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't like thinking about that kind of shit because we'll never probably know that answer. | |
| I'd rather figure out my fucking life going on with this person. | ||
| Son, you ain't never going to figure out your life. | ||
| You're better off just distracting yourself with bullshit. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Well, I mean... | |
| Listen... | ||
| Let it go, kid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know what-ifs can be fun here and there, but getting obsessed with them is what I don't do. | |
| A what-if would dunk until I starve to death. | ||
| We can what-if till the cows come home. | ||
| It's so fun to what-if. | ||
| It's fun. | ||
| What about the fucking philosophers, Brian? | ||
| What-if, dude? | ||
| All robots. | ||
| So much of McKenna's work was what-if. | ||
| You know, so much of his possibilities of prognosticating the eventual technological similarity. | ||
| He was a big proponent of time travel. | ||
| He really felt like time travel was going to be the one thing that fucked everything up. | ||
| Hey, can I do a what if real quick? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What if Brian worked for the CIA? And he was like infiltrated the podcast to try to get us from doing what ifs. | ||
| Because they know that if we keep what if-ing, we're going to come up with something that isn't just bullshit. | ||
| You're right, dude. | ||
| You might be a fucking fed... | ||
| Speaking of which, where are you at this weekend? | ||
| Oh, I'm at Ann Arbor. | ||
| Comedy showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan. | ||
| Comedy showcase in Ann Arbor, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. | ||
| By the way, if you've never been to the comedy showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan, it is one of the most perfect comedy clubs in the country. | ||
| It's one of those places that you get there and you go, oh... | ||
| These still exist. | ||
| These mom and pop owned, really well set up, well designed, small, intimate space, great sound system, cool as fuck staff. | ||
| The whole staff smoked me out. | ||
| We went in the back room and passed it around. | ||
| The place is the shit. | ||
| The cops there were cool as fuck. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Everybody's cool as fuck. | |
| Holy shit, I can't wait, man. | ||
| Dude, that club is the shit. | ||
| I did it with Segura. | ||
| Me and Segura did it. | ||
| We had a great, great, great fucking time there. | ||
| I can't wait. | ||
| There's a few of those clubs left, you know, in the country. | ||
| That was Heffron's club. | ||
| Denver Comedy Works. | ||
| Denver Comedy Works. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Portland Works. | |
| Set up, perfect. | ||
| What's that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Portland, Oregon's my new fave. | |
| Portland's Helium is the shit. | ||
| That's a new club, too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love that club. | |
| But Portland has been dying for stand-up comedy forever. | ||
| Portland's such a cool community. | ||
| There's so many cool motherfuckers up there. | ||
| Portland's amazing, man. | ||
| That's a great city. | ||
| Yeah, I love Portland. | ||
| I just don't know if I could deal with the wintertime. | ||
| People say it just gets fucking crazy. | ||
| I've talked to people that didn't say that. | ||
| Years ago, I have friends that live in Seattle, and years ago, I would ask them, you know, does it ever bother you the rain? | ||
| No, you know, no big deal. | ||
| It's whatever, man. | ||
| In the summertime, summer times are amazing. | ||
| You just kind of deal with it. | ||
| This is what it is. | ||
| And then you talk to them a couple years later, man, fuck this fucking weather. | ||
| Fuck this. | ||
| It seems to me to be something you think you can deal with, and you can deal with it, but... | ||
| It might slowly fuck with you as long as you don't realize there's an alternative. | ||
| If you ever lived in Southern California and then you moved up to Seattle, you might, after a while, be like, God damn, can I get some sun up in this bitch? | ||
| You fucking people are depressed for a reason, man. | ||
| You're not getting any sun. | ||
| Vitamin D. Exactly. | ||
| But to have a comedy club up there, there's so many cool fuckers up there, man. | ||
| Seattle, Portland, that whole Northwest. | ||
| I love Seattle. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It's great. | |
| It's badass. | ||
| It's great. | ||
| It's like always good times. | ||
| I've never had a bad show up there. | ||
| They've always been fun. | ||
| Portland is fucking, that helium comedy club, one of the best places we ever worked. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Best setup too. | |
| I've heard of it. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Great stage, great everything. | |
| Those helium guys are the guys from Philly. | ||
| They just know exactly what they're doing. | ||
| They're fucking masters at it. | ||
| There's a few of those clubs, like improvs. | ||
| We did the Ontario improv this weekend. | ||
| Fuck, it was awesome. | ||
| That Ontario improv is one of the most underrated improvs, man. | ||
| Because the people out there are as cool as shit. | ||
| It's always packed. | ||
| Every show was sold out. | ||
| It was fucking awesome. | ||
| Yeah, there seems to be a real correlation to how cool comedy clubs are getting and how your podcast is becoming popular because there's a lot of fucking podcast fans that come out to these shows and they're fucking awesome. | ||
| Somebody fucking palm banana bread and a Ziploc bag into my hand in Atlanta. | ||
| That was one of the funniest, coolest things. | ||
| And it was just banana bread. | ||
| That's a brownie somebody gave me I'm scared of. | ||
| It's right there. | ||
| Oh, forget it. | ||
| You just don't know. | ||
| I'm scared. | ||
| It's terrifying. | ||
| I'm going to feed it to my dog. | ||
| Keep it in the original form. | ||
| You can't like... | ||
| You just never know. | ||
| You never know what it could be, man. | ||
| That could be some Jacob's Ladder shit. | ||
| You could... | ||
| So if they want to see you, how do they buy tickets for this comedy show? | ||
| Go to my website, DuncanTrustle.com. | ||
| There's a link to the tickets on my website. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Boom. | |
| That's Trustle with two S's and two L's. | ||
| DuncanTrustle.com. | ||
| Also, go to DeathSquad.tv and sign up for the DeathSquad podcast. | ||
| There's a whole series of podcasts that Brian hosts outside of this that has Sam Tripoli as a podcast under him, and fucking Tom Segura as a podcast under him, and There's a bunch of different really funny people that have podcasts over there. | ||
| Freddie Lockhart, John Reap, John Heffron. | ||
| Brody Stevens. | ||
| Brody Stevens, Lester. | ||
| A bunch of really good... | ||
| So if you're looking for interesting shit to keep you occupied at work, it's all free, of course. | ||
| It's all on iTunes, of course. | ||
| Also, Ari Shafir has his own now. | ||
| It's called The Skeptic Tank. | ||
| You can find it, Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank. | ||
| That's S-H-A-F-F-I-R. We're good to go. | ||
| Powerful. | ||
| And thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring us. | ||
| If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy from Matt. | ||
| I've got to come up with something cooler to say with that. | ||
| Brian is just a master. | ||
| He just has this down to a science. | ||
| CIA! That's why he interjects. | ||
| He tries to fuck with your thought waves. | ||
| I fucked up the show today. | ||
| What if he's like a time traveler and he knows... | ||
| They were trying to talk about time travel. | ||
| I told them they were faggots. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| Stop it. | ||
| Thank you to Onnit Labs. | ||
| Go to onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, for the Alpha Brain Cognitive Enhancer Substance, whatever you call this. | ||
| And if you go to the link off the website, offjoerogan.net, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off. | ||
| And then make yourself all smart and shit. | ||
| Yes, they're great. | ||
| Great dreams. | ||
| Duncan Trussell this weekend. | ||
| Comedy Showcase, Ann Arbor, Michigan. | ||
| Thursday, Friday, and Saturday Night Live. | ||
| What? | ||
| Go. | ||
| See him. | ||
| See you this weekend. | ||
| Go. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Go. | |
| Go there. | ||
| Go. | ||
| If you're in Michigan, you must go. | ||
| Oh, this Friday. | ||
| We're going to be at... | ||
| Ice House, the little tiny room. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, Pasadena Ice House. | |
| There's a death squad show. | ||
| It's Joe Rogan. | ||
| Joey Diaz is probably going to do it. | ||
| Two shows. | ||
| Brendan Walsh is going to do it. | ||
| Oh, it's a lineup of killers. | ||
| And it's a small-ass room. | ||
| It's only 85 seats. | ||
| It'll sell the fuck out. | ||
| But we're doing this little thing on purpose because it's fun. | ||
| It's a real intimate little environment. | ||
| It's a real fun place to fuck around. | ||
| Are you going to be around? | ||
| No, you're going to be around because you're going to be at the Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ann Arbor! | |
| And if you can go to DuncanTrustle.com, you can get the tickets for that. | ||
| And then... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Just fucking, just, folks, we love you. | |
| Thanks for everything. | ||
| Just keep being who you are because you're cool as shit. | ||
| And all you people out there that are listening on your treadmills and on your elliptical machines and driving in your cars and sitting in the subway and on the train and we love you. | ||
| We love you. | ||
| We're there. | ||
| We are all connected. | ||
| Yeah, you are having a conversation with us. | ||
| We are moving forward. | ||
| Occupy Wall Street and Viva La Revolution! | ||
| Hold it until I get there. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Get your machine shirts at BertBertBert.com. | |
| Thank you everybody. | ||
| We love you guys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Bye. | |
| We'll see you soon. |
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