The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #140 - Brendon Walsh (Part 1)
Aired: 2011-09-22
Duration: 05:34


=== Dreams and Placebos (04:35) ===

[00:00:00]  The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
[00:00:07]  If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
[00:00:19]  That's right.
[00:00:20]  You beat off into it.
[00:00:22]  Brandon Walsh was scared of it.
[00:00:23]  I offered it to you.
[00:00:24]  I'm not scared of it.
[00:00:25]  I'm not scared of it.
[00:00:25]  I had to think about it.
[00:00:26]  I was like, I don't know, man.
[00:00:28]  Well, I might not be within my best interest to introduce to my life.
[00:00:33]  Yeah, you know, I don't need to get any more into, like, fucking jerking off than I am already.
[00:00:38]  Like, it's a fucking waste of time.
[00:00:40]  You know what's funny, too?
[00:00:41]  I had a dream last night that, like, I had a dream about, like, I was going to get a flashlight.
[00:00:47]  Like, I decided I was going to do it.
[00:00:48]  Yeah.
[00:00:49]  And you just called me today about this.
[00:00:51]  That you were going to buy it?
[00:00:53]  Well, it was like, I wanted to fuck a rubber pussy in my dream.
[00:00:56]  Like, it was just a weird dream.
[00:00:59]  Just specifically?
[00:01:01]  That dream about a sex toy?
[00:01:04]  Yeah, I mean, it wasn't about, like, yeah, my friend was in it, and he had, like, this fucking thing that was, like, sucking his dick that looked pretty complicated.
[00:01:15]  I don't know, man.
[00:01:15]  It was a weird dream.
[00:01:17]  It was pretty complicated, like a mechanical thing?
[00:01:19]  Yeah.
[00:01:19]  Yeah, like it was a two-part, like it had like a, almost like a little gas tank, you know, like that you would use for like helium balloons.
[00:01:27]  Like it was a fucking weird contraption.
[00:01:29]  What the fuck did you eat before you went to bed, before you had this dream?
[00:01:32]  I ate pinkberry last night.
[00:01:34]  Was that, you think that was it?
[00:01:36]  I don't know, does food really give you weird dreams?
[00:01:38]  Yeah, did you put kiwi on there?
[00:01:40]  Yeah, I think it does.
[00:01:40]  I put mochi, I mean I usually don't eat late at night and I never, like last time I ate pinkberry was probably like four months ago maybe?
[00:01:48]  Well, we know that certain compounds in food definitely affect, like melatonin definitely affects the way you dream.
[00:01:55]  A lot of people say these alpha brain pills that we've been saying, they definitely affect the way you dream.
[00:02:00]  I've just been hearing about that.
[00:02:02]  Trussell told me.
[00:02:02]  I'll give you a bottle.
[00:02:03]  Tell me what you think.
[00:02:04]  If you think they suck, please tell me.
[00:02:06]  I don't want to believe it's just a placebo effect.
[00:02:11]  I don't want to believe it's just a placebo effect because of the dreams.
[00:02:14]  The number one reason why I'm pretty convinced it's not a placebo effect is because I have these fucking weird dreams, man.
[00:02:22]  They're like super potent dreams where a lot of times during them I'm aware that I'm in a dream, but the dream is so strong.
[00:02:30]  There's like no getting out of it.
[00:02:32]  It's like I'm aware.
[00:02:33]  Like, whoa, this is just a dream, right?
[00:02:34]  Yep, this is just a dream.
[00:02:36]  Let's keep going.
[00:02:37]  Did you ever have a lucid dream before?
[00:02:39]  Not like this.
[00:02:41]  I've never had any.
[00:02:42]  I've had moments, but I've always, in the middle of the moment, freaked out and realized, oh my god, I am flying.
[00:02:48]  I'm controlling my flying.
[00:02:50]  This is amazing.
[00:02:51]  Yeah, but it felt so fucking real right before I woke up.
[00:02:54]  But I was only able to hold on to it slippery for a few seconds.
[00:02:59]  Hmm.
[00:02:59]  Since taking these fucking pills, I hold onto it for like a half an hour sometimes.
[00:03:03]  And you do crazy shit?
[00:03:04]  Oh my god!
[00:03:06]  You murder people?
[00:03:07]  I've talked about this already.
[00:03:08]  Is it like the guy when you're playing Grand Theft Auto when you get the baseball bat and just walk around and beat the shit out of people?
[00:03:14]  You don't even play the game?
[00:03:15]  No, mine was super bizarre, and I've told the story, so in the interest of brevity, it was a werewolf and a gorilla were 69ing each other in my dream.
[00:03:24]  It was a big...
[00:03:25]  Big fucking brown werewolf and a big gray gorilla.
[00:03:30]  And they were 69 each other.
[00:03:32]  And I was trying to walk really quietly because I didn't want them to wake up.
[00:03:38]  I didn't want them to come after me.
[00:03:39]  It was so vivid.
[00:03:41]  It was the most ridiculous fucking vivid dream I've ever had.
[00:03:44]  I can remember the texture on the wall.
[00:03:47]  I can remember what the table looked like where they were 69 each other.
[00:03:51]  I had the worst Joe Rogan dream the other day.
[00:03:56]  Me?
[00:03:56]  I was in it?
[00:03:57]  Yeah, it was all about you.
[00:03:58]  He was getting raped by a mummy?
[00:04:00]  No, it was worse.
[00:04:02]  I did Alpha Brain and it was very creepy.
[00:04:05]  I almost don't even want to say it.
[00:04:07]  But I woke up and I told my girlfriend...
[00:04:09]  Shouldn't that be some gay shit, son?
[00:04:10]  I woke up...
[00:04:10]  This is no time to divulge anything.
[00:04:13]  Sometimes it's best to keep your secrets, boy.
[00:04:15]  Yeah, does that mean I'm...
[00:04:16]  Alright, so what happens?
[00:04:17]  You had a fighter on?
[00:04:19]  We were doing a podcast and we had a fighter on.

=== The Whole Camera Incident (01:14) ===

[00:04:22]  And then he leaned over and kissed you.
[00:04:24]  And I'm like, whoa, did that just happen?
[00:04:26]  And I'm like, Joe, the camera's on right now.
[00:04:28]  And he goes, oh, well, I guess there's nothing to say then.
[00:04:32]  Or something like that.
[00:04:32]  What?
[00:04:33]  Really intense.
[00:04:34]  Oh, my God.
[00:04:35]  An intense kiss between a man and a man.
[00:04:38]  It was like a fighter, too.
[00:04:39]  I think it was like GSP or something.
[00:04:41]  That is so weird.
[00:04:42]  Yeah, you've got a very weird way of looking at men, Brian.
[00:04:46]  I was creeped out by it, though.
[00:04:48]  It was really creepy.
[00:04:49]  Yeah, me too.
[00:04:50]  I'm creeped out by the fact that you fucking thought that.
[00:04:54]  Fucking weirdo, man.
[00:04:56]  And then it was like, the whole camera thing, it was like, you got really mad after the show about the camera being on, and it I was like, you ruined me!
[00:05:05]  Wow, I ruined you.
[00:05:06]  I'm kissing dudes and I'm worried about you taking pictures of me.
[00:05:09]  You were holding the guy's hand the whole time.
[00:05:11]  Oh my goodness.
[00:05:13]  God, Brian.
[00:05:14]  Is this a regular flashlight?
[00:05:16]  No, no, no.
[00:05:16]  That's a real flashlight.
[00:05:19]  John Hefron has the best flashlight, fleshlight joke.
[00:05:21]  He says we should make a fleshlight that's also a flashlight.
[00:05:25]  Yeah.
[00:05:25]  Because you never know where your flashlight is, but you always know where your flashlight is.
[00:05:28]  Ah.
[00:05:29]  So true, right?
[00:05:30]  That's true.
[00:05:31]  Hefron, you fucking genius, you!
[00:05:33]  You see, that's...