March 28, 2011 - The Joe Rogan Experience
02:05:38
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| ...other fighters, still working on my music. | ||
| You know, there's a lot of stress, but it's all good stress. | ||
| There's so much going on. | ||
| There's so much on my plate right now. | ||
| There's so much shit that I'm doing. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| If I want to put that all to the side... | ||
| Hey, Brian, we're off the air. | ||
| Yeah, Ustream crashed. | ||
| Ustream, you dirty bitches. | ||
| It's back on now. | ||
| Ustream's silly. | ||
| They can't get this shit together. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I know one of the biggest problems people have been having lately, where you're trying to watch it back and it stops and then starts back up again and then stops. | ||
| What's that from? | ||
| They're adding new servers. | ||
| They're switching the servers from old servers to new servers, so that should be fixed pretty soon. | ||
| I'm complaining. | ||
| This is all free. | ||
| Ustream is fun. | ||
| Most of the time we concentrate on the audio version of this thing, but... | ||
| But I don't mind having this. | ||
| I think it's kind of fun. | ||
| Especially when Eddie hides from me. | ||
| The bottom line is, I'm down anytime. | ||
| Are we back to that? | ||
| I'm not the one turning it down. | ||
| Eddie, I saw you do your live show, your music, a couple Sundays ago. | ||
| And I have seen you, I think, the last three or four times you've done the Viper Room. | ||
| And this last time, fucking amazing, man. | ||
| You guys have really tightened your ship. | ||
| And it was really entertaining. | ||
| Like, it was... | ||
| Pretty legit this time, that last time around. | ||
| Thank you very much. | ||
| The secret was you grease the sound guy and the stage manager $100 each and they treat you like royalty. | ||
| Exactly. | ||
| They really made it sound really good. | ||
| Usually those guys get paid $10 an hour. | ||
| They're like, next, another fucking shitty band, another shitty band. | ||
| They're just not feeling it at all. | ||
| They don't want to hear anything. | ||
| Yeah, it was a perfect mix. | ||
| But that $100, that wakes their fucking asses up. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That was good, man. | ||
| It does. | ||
| It's like tipping a stripper $100. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's deep. | |
| You tip a stripper $100, you're going to take her to her maximum. | ||
| Whatever that maximum is, you tip a stripper $100, she's going to go to the maximum. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| That she can get away with at the club. | ||
| Are you doing that on a regular basis now? | ||
| Are you going to be doing it every month and a half, two months or anything? | ||
| We're just playing and having fun and writing music and just producing shit. | ||
| We've got a lot of fucking new stuff. | ||
| It's taken forever to put this together because I'm a busy motherfucker. | ||
| I moved closer to my recording studio. | ||
| I just moved to Sherman Oaks. | ||
| The reason was to get closer to that studio because now shit's pumping. | ||
| I've got a couple songs on the Never Back Down 2 soundtrack. | ||
| One of them is the theme song. | ||
| Dropped is the theme song. | ||
| Oh, really? | ||
| That's badass, dude. | ||
| They were going to use, originally, the jujitsu song. | ||
| They thought, I mean, when Michael Jai White, the producer, heard that, he wanted that as a theme song right away, like that second. | ||
| We've got to get Michael Jai White in here. | ||
| Yes, yes, for sure. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| He was, you know who he is. | ||
| He was Tyson, in that movie Tyson. | ||
| And then Spawn, too. | ||
| Yeah, Spawn. | ||
| Super fucking cool guy. | ||
| Like, one of the most down, normal guys you could ever hang out with. | ||
| Just so, like... | ||
| Like, no bullshit. | ||
| He's got, like, no bullshit about him. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yes. | |
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like, super, like, even, normal, cool dude. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, the guy's like a... | ||
| He's a movie star, man. | ||
| I mean, he's fucking Spawn, you know? | ||
| But you're hanging out with him? | ||
| He's, like, totally cool. | ||
| Totally normal, you know? | ||
| He's got some great fucking stories. | ||
| He's been a lifelong martial artist. | ||
| He fights Kyokushin tournaments still. | ||
| He still goes in there in those fucking bare knuckle punch to the chest, leg kick, head kick tournaments. | ||
| Dude, Michael Chai White is no joke. | ||
| No joke, dude. | ||
| I mean, you know how big he is? | ||
|
unidentified
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He's huge. | |
| He's like 6'3", 6'4". | ||
| 235 pounds of... | ||
| Super athlete. | ||
| I mean, and he's explosive. | ||
| I mean, holy shit. | ||
| I mean, the stuff he does, he does some, like, Never Back Down 2. First of all, Never Back Down 1, if you don't know, is the first MMA movie to go mainstream. | ||
| That was the biggest MMA movie to date, but it was terrible. | ||
| They made it into, like, the Fast and the Furious MMA, and it was terrible. | ||
| That's how anything is these days, right? | ||
| Everything seems to have the same sort of tone to it. | ||
| They're letting you know in these fast and furious, never back down. | ||
| Any of those kind of movies, they're letting you know we're never going to get real deep. | ||
| We're agreeing to this right off the bat. | ||
| It's going to be like a music video. | ||
| What it is is the people that can make movies and put them right in, the guys that have that power, They really don't know that much about MMA. They just got into it, and they're like, I'm going to make an MMA movie. | ||
| I'm going to make a fighting movie, man. | ||
| Like this tap-out stuff. | ||
| And they're the guys with the power. | ||
| They're not going to let the guys... | ||
| They could really put together an authentic MMA movie. | ||
| How are they going to get their movie? | ||
| This movie company can only... | ||
| It's only pushing three movies a year. | ||
| This one's only pushing ten. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| You're going to get yours on that spotlight? | ||
| Well, someone did, and obviously there were a bunch of knuckleheads that put that movie together, the first one. | ||
| The first one's really bad. | ||
| The story's always like the new guy in town, you know, he's really handsome, and all the other guys that are bad guys in town, they're all angry. | ||
| And there's got to be hot chicks. | ||
| Yeah, sure. | ||
| And he meets the girlfriend, and, you know, the guy doesn't treat her good, and this new guy does, and... | ||
| It's the same formula. | ||
| We could do a scary movie. | ||
| We can do an MMA movie. | ||
| Now we need to do a race car movie with that. | ||
| We're going to do a dancing movie where they dance off. | ||
| Same story, though. | ||
| It's the same guys. | ||
| The guys with the green light power, they're not idiots. | ||
| They just don't know the sport that well. | ||
| They don't know how the little things that an MMA expert can just pick it apart. | ||
| The little things. | ||
| They're fighting in the circle of people standing. | ||
| That shit doesn't happen. | ||
| I'll never forget. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| When Steven Seagal had become really famous, they started a search. | ||
| Different studios were having searches of martial artists all across the country. | ||
| Find the next Steven Seagal. | ||
| They met with me in New York. | ||
| And I don't remember what studio it was about, but I said the number one problem with martial arts movies is that a real martial artist is going to look at that shit and go, that's not real. | ||
| That can't happen. | ||
| That's unrealistic. | ||
| And they were like, they got arrogant with me. | ||
| They were like, that's ridiculous. | ||
| Who's going to know? | ||
| You and a few other people? | ||
| Believe me, it doesn't matter. | ||
| Yeah, it doesn't matter. | ||
| He was really arrogant about it. | ||
| I'm like, I'm telling you, as a person, if you're a guitar player, and you're watching some fucking movie about the Buddy Holly story, and there's a guy playing guitar, and you know he's not really playing guitar, that would drive you crazy. | ||
| If you saw some guy, and he's doing this, and the music's coming out, but you know this motherfucker is not playing that music. | ||
| Yeah, you could tell he ain't playing. | ||
| As a musician, wouldn't that drive you fucking nuts? | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah, totally. | |
| You could pick that out. | ||
| Yeah, it would drive you crazy. | ||
| Yeah, you always check the technique. | ||
| Yeah, and I was telling these guys, I'm like, look, there's some badass shit that you can do that's real, that really does work, and I can show you. | ||
| I can show you some badass shit that really works. | ||
| But all this flying double scissor kick, two dudes at the same time, that's silly nonsense. | ||
| This is silliness. | ||
| Like, you're doing silly stuff. | ||
| I remember walking out of Never Back Down 1 going... | ||
| Okay, it sucked, but at least they got the mainstream use to armbars and triangles, and at least they got them used to looking at fights, big movie fights, where there's a triangle and an armbar. | ||
|
unidentified
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That's kind of cool. | |
| Remember Lethal Weapon? | ||
| Horian Gracie was a fight coordinator for Lethal Weapon. | ||
| But in movies like that, you see stuff like that every now and then sprinkled in. | ||
| But in Never Back Down, they explained it. | ||
| They're training it. | ||
| It's like a secret weapon. | ||
| So they focused on it. | ||
| In Lethal Weapon, he gets him in a triangle, but they didn't say, wow, look what he's actually doing. | ||
| Most people didn't even know that was a technique. | ||
| They're like, oh, he had him between his legs. | ||
| They don't even see the technique. | ||
| You know, I can't think triangle without thinking about Rampage, Jackson, and Arona. | ||
| Whenever anybody even mentions the word triangle, all I think about is that fight. | ||
| Because that was the craziest end to a triangle attempt ever. | ||
| Rampage picked him up like a pillow and slammed him. | ||
| Do you remember we were over here watching that shit? | ||
| Do you remember how scary that was? | ||
| That was scary. | ||
| Look, if you put that in a movie, you would say bullshit. | ||
| That could never really happen. | ||
| But you know what I mean? | ||
| It hasn't happened since. | ||
| And you said this, I'll never forget. | ||
| You said, ooh, he might be dead. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| We were watching this and you went, ooh, he might be dead. | ||
| Like, that was the... | ||
| If you've never seen that slam, he's trying to get... | ||
| Rona's trying to get Rampage in a triangle and Rampage defends it by picking him up over his head and slamming him down full force onto the ground and then headbutting him. | ||
| They collided heads accidentally just from the impact. | ||
| It was a double wham. | ||
| But if that would have happened on concrete, he would have been a vegetable if he was lucky. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| He was lucky. | ||
| He would have been dead. | ||
| You're probably going to be dead, but if you're a vegetable, like, damn, at least you kept him alive. | ||
| That's how hard his head hit. | ||
| His head would have exploded. | ||
| It would have exploded. | ||
| I wonder if that's affecting his career now. | ||
| Oh, for sure it is. | ||
| You think? | ||
| Unquestionably. | ||
| That was a fucking violent knockout, man. | ||
| That was an unbelievably violent knockout. | ||
| And then right afterwards, Sirkooj knocked him out, remember? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So that was two in a row. | ||
| You know, when you get bombed out like that, the Sokuju one was brutal too, man. | ||
| Sokuju out of the gate, you remember how scary that guy was out of the gate? | ||
| Out of the gate, knocks out Noguera, Hojirio Noguera, and then Arona, two in a row, and does it like he's just going to steamroll everyone. | ||
| Yeah, he looks like a mad destroyer. | ||
| Jesus. | ||
| And then someone told me, you got to watch a fight of his against Glover Teixeira, you know, who was one of the guys from Chuck's camp, from SLO. Do you remember that guy? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Big, really strong, light heavyweight, but he had, like, visa problems, I think. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| But a really scary dude. | ||
| Dangerous, dangerous dude. | ||
| And he fought Sokuju and broke him. | ||
| He fought Sokuju and stopped him with strikes. | ||
| And then, you know, this was all after that. | ||
| That was apparently early, early on. | ||
| He's like one of those guys that almost maybe got thrown into the deep end too quick. | ||
|
unidentified
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Yeah. | |
| Yeah, it's never too late for Sokuju. | ||
| If Sokuju just focused on getting really good at Jiu Jitsu and not end up like one of those fighters, you know, one of those Olympic wrestlers that never learned Jiu Jitsu, you know. | ||
| If he falls in love with Jiu Jitsu, continues to progress with the striking, he's going to be a force. | ||
| But if he doesn't learn Jiu Jitsu, if he doesn't fall in love with Jiu Jitsu, his chances are very slim of getting to the top. | ||
| It's real weird when you see, you know, you always like to say, well, you know, there's a certain amount of losses a fighter has and then they're done. | ||
| But every now and then there's a guy who comes along that just defies that shit, that like loses a bunch of times but then gets it together and then starts winning. | ||
| Jorge Santiago, he's a good example of that. | ||
| Anderson Silva was just run of the mill. | ||
| Liotta Machida for a few years. | ||
| They were like, ah, he's alright. | ||
| So the fighters right now that you think... | ||
| Yeah, but I mean, I'm talking about losses. | ||
| I'm talking about bouncing back from losses. | ||
| Machida, you know, only bounced back from the Shogun loss. | ||
| But like Alistair. | ||
| Alistair Overeem, I think he's been stopped nine times. | ||
| Bobby Hoffman stopped him. | ||
| You know, he got submitted by Verdum. | ||
| Haritanov stopped him. | ||
| Chuck stopped him. | ||
| A lot of guys stopped him. | ||
| And if you looked at him on paper with all those stoppages, you would say, well, how is this guy ever going to be the best? | ||
| But then you look at him now, shit, he's one of the best, man. | ||
| And his jiu-jitsu's good. | ||
| He'll kill you with a guillotine. | ||
| And his striking is, no one's close. | ||
| That motherfucker is the Strikeforce Grand Prix champion, or excuse me, the K-1 Grand Prix champion and the Strikeforce champion and the Dream champion. | ||
| Who the fuck has ever been able to do that? | ||
| Do kickboxing at the highest level and MMA? The thing that saves Overeem is that he mastered the guillotine. | ||
| Anybody try to take him down, you gotta take him down. | ||
| I mean, most people aren't gonna try to stand with him. | ||
| There's gonna be a couple brave motherfuckers out there that try to stand with him. | ||
| There will be in MMA, but usually they're gonna try to take him down. | ||
| They gotta worry about that guillotine. | ||
| Yeah, his guillotine's death. | ||
| He's fucking cemented Vitor with it. | ||
|
unidentified
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He's good. | |
| And his ground game is good, too, because his brother, Valentine Overeem, he hasn't had a successful career as of yet. | ||
| He's still fighting, but he's a real smart guy and is in love with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Valentine Overeem's jiu-jitsu is really, really good, and that's his brother. | ||
| So it's rubbing off on him because... | ||
|
unidentified
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Overeem... | |
| Alistair. | ||
| He won the Abu Dhabi European Trials, didn't he? | ||
| Something like that. | ||
| Don't quote me on it, but I know his jiu-jitsu is good. | ||
| And that's the key. | ||
| All you guys out there, I know I never fought, but in my opinion, I've been in the business... | ||
| Getting paid since 2000. Watching fighters come and go. | ||
| Watching fight camps come and go. | ||
| Meeting all these guys. | ||
| I go through their lives and it's never too late to get your career together. | ||
| You have to fall in love with Jiu Jitsu. | ||
| Of course you need the mental state together. | ||
| You can't have a fragile ego. | ||
| You've got to have a warrior's mind. | ||
| But if you have a warrior's mind, you love to fight, you love to train, you have a great work ethic, please fall in love with some jujitsu. | ||
| Fall in love with it, then you become dangerous on the ground. | ||
| A wrestler who is not interested in learning how to take people out... | ||
| That's like a basketball player not interested in like shooting the ball. | ||
| I just want to dribble. | ||
| I'm just going to dribble. | ||
| I don't need to shoot the ball. | ||
| I'm just going to dribble. | ||
| Look at me. | ||
| I'm a great dribbler. | ||
| Yeah, your dribbling is awesome. | ||
| You got to get good at closing the show, making some points. | ||
| How could you be a wrestler and not be in love with choking necks? | ||
| Fall in love with it. | ||
| Study Marcelo Garcia. | ||
| He's got a website, 30 bucks a month. | ||
| If you're in an MMA right now and you're not studying Marcelo Garcia, you're behind the times. | ||
| He's the number one guy in jiu-jitsu. | ||
| Number one in no-gi jiu-jitsu. | ||
| No one's better than him. | ||
| If you're an MMA fighter, fall in love with Marcelo Garcia. | ||
| That's a great start. | ||
| Jeff Glover, another great start. | ||
| If you fall in love with Jeff Glover and Marcelo Garcia, bone both of them. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| And Gless, of course, is some dude who just likes to stand. | ||
| Yeah, that's good too. | ||
| You're going to go so far. | ||
| In what I've seen working backstage at all these goddamn shows for the UFC for eight years, that's what I see. | ||
| I see the guys come and go, come and go. | ||
| And the main thing at the very top, at the very top, even if you're a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt and you won the Mundial a bunch of times... | ||
| What I see, I see the prelims for the last eight years. | ||
| A lot of people don't see what's going on in the prelims. | ||
| Just getting signed, if you're under 170 and you get signed to the UFC, that doesn't mean shit. | ||
| You got to get through the prelims to get to the main card. | ||
| You know how many fights you gotta win to be on the main card and you're 170 pounds that gonna put you on the main card? | ||
| You gotta win more than two fights and you better be exciting. | ||
| So getting signed to the UFC is like those, and I've used this before, it's like those turtles that they're born, they're hatched in the... | ||
| Yeah, you're born. | ||
| Yeah, you're alive. | ||
| But now you gotta get past the seagulls and all the crabs attacking you. | ||
| Good luck making it to the ocean. | ||
| The main card. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| It's really hard. | ||
| And my point is, I see a lot of guys come and never make it to the prelim. | ||
| There's been a lot of Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belts out there. | ||
| I don't want to say any names. | ||
| A lot of them coming through and they just get smashed by wrestlers. | ||
| No one ever sees it. | ||
| No one ever talks about it. | ||
| It's not on the underground. | ||
| And they just disappear. | ||
| There's been a lot of them. | ||
| There's been guys that rise and are stars like Charles Oliveira and that Rocha guy. | ||
| I like those guys. | ||
| I want them to, you know, their submissions look slick, no-gi. | ||
| But there's a lot of guys. | ||
| They can't get to the main card because they couldn't get past the elite wrestler. | ||
| Even though they were a black belt in the gi, they're on their back. | ||
| The guard is okay. | ||
| Sometimes things catch. | ||
| But overall, I see a lot of guys lose decisions because they're on their back against some average college wrestler they couldn't get passed by. | ||
| I see that a lot. | ||
| That's what I've seen. | ||
| Unless I dreamed it, or it's like I'm having delusions, that's what I thought I see. | ||
| I see a lot of guys come through, they don't have the answer for the elite wrestler. | ||
| If you haven't wrestled your whole life, if you haven't wrestled your whole life, guess what? | ||
| Most of the guys at the top have wrestled, and you better have the answer for them. | ||
| That's your worst nightmare. | ||
| You better be training for that wrestler. | ||
| Right now, because that's what you're going to hit. | ||
| And every year, more and more wrestlers are quitting their job at fucking Home Depot, and they're watching The Ultimate Fighter going, I could be famous too? | ||
| I wrestled 23 years, fuck this life. | ||
| They got three kids, they hate their wife. | ||
| There's a lot of these guys coming. | ||
| They're coming. | ||
| They want to be famous too. | ||
| There's a new celebrity in town, and it's the MMA fighter. | ||
| And these guys, there are a bunch of them. | ||
| The judo guys are going, shit, I could do it too. | ||
| I almost went to the Olympics in judo. | ||
| There's all these guys coming out. | ||
| What are you going to do to them? | ||
| These guys are used to being on top. | ||
| They've been wrestling since 2. You're going to start wrestling now. | ||
| If you haven't wrestled your whole life, your guard better be amazing. | ||
| It better be ninja. | ||
| When they talk about your guard, you think you're going to make it to the top in MMA and you haven't wrestled your whole life? | ||
| If they're not talking about your guard like it's fucking phenomenal, so dangerous, stay away from his guard, it's amazing. | ||
| If they're not saying that about your guard, your chances are slim that you're going to get past the elite wrestler. | ||
| Because you're not going to be on top, for sure. | ||
| And it's a 50-50 beat-em strike. | ||
| If you beat-em striking, you know, you might win a few. | ||
| These new young guys, man, all of them are super equipped. | ||
| Like this Michael McDonald kid that fought this weekend. | ||
| Did you see that fight? | ||
| I didn't see that fight. | ||
| Oh my God, what a fight. | ||
| Edwin Figueroa and Michael McDonald, they fought at 145. Prelim? | ||
| 145 or 135? | ||
| I think it was 145. Forgive me if I'm not sure. | ||
| Yeah, it was one of the prelims. | ||
| It aired on Facebook or one of those things. | ||
| Maybe it was Spike. | ||
| I think it was Facebook, though. | ||
| This fucking kid is super talented, dude. | ||
| Super talented. | ||
| And both of them are. | ||
| Figueroa took the fight on six days' notice and cut 20 pounds to make the weight class. | ||
| I'm pretty sure it was 135. Either way, Figueroa cut all this fucking weight and was getting his ass kicked in the first round, but then just gutted it out and starts going after him in the second round and the third round. | ||
| Dude, it was just a crazy fucking fight. | ||
| But this kid, McDonald, had him in a triangle-arm bar combination. | ||
| He had his back. | ||
| It was six. | ||
| Sick display of striking and jujitsu together. | ||
| And he's fucking 20 years old, man. | ||
| All these new guys that are coming up, they can do everything. | ||
| They can wrestle. | ||
| They can do jujitsu. | ||
| They're good off their back. | ||
| They're all good off their back. | ||
| You have to be. | ||
| That's the next stage. | ||
| There's no getting past that. | ||
| There's no way, ultimately, having an average guard, like most typical MMA fighters, that average guard that we're seeing now, If you have that, you're gone. | ||
| Well, I think that the days of a guy not being good at any of the aspects of MMA are on the way out. | ||
| There's not that much room left. | ||
| It's like every other sport, man. | ||
| It gets broken down to its bare essentials, and everything gets exposed. | ||
| And now that we know the bare essentials, it's real simple. | ||
| You have to have all of them in place. | ||
| You have to have wrestling. | ||
| You have to have striking. | ||
| You have to be good off your back. | ||
| You have to be good on top. | ||
| It's a science and both of us have worked backstage and we see these guys come and go. | ||
| It really is a strange perspective for me. | ||
| I'm getting to see what every fight I see in the truck for the last eight years, I'm analyzing what works and what doesn't. | ||
| I'm constantly doing the research and talking to these guys. | ||
| See them come, see them go. | ||
| I could put careers together like charts. | ||
| It's a weird arrogance to not wanting to learn some aspects of the sport. | ||
| Yes, that's the problem. | ||
| Basically, if the people you roll with... | ||
| If you're an MMA fighter and the people you roll with... | ||
| Aren't talking about your jujitsu like it's amazing. | ||
| Man, your chances are slim. | ||
| That's why people eventually, you see these stars rise. | ||
| And again, this is all coming from a guy, a scientist studying charts backstage. | ||
| I've never fought. | ||
| I'm not a badass. | ||
| I'm not an athlete. | ||
| I'm not this tough dude. | ||
| I just notice things. | ||
| That's all. | ||
| I notice things, you know, on a hyper level. | ||
| And I noticed that the fighters that come and go, the ones that come, if you put them on, I can't name names. | ||
| That's the problem. | ||
| You see them come and then you see them go. | ||
| If you put them all together, their jujitsu was never discussed. | ||
| One common denominator was their jujitsu was probably never discussed as something lethal at their own gym. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Probably not. | ||
| On that level, there's a lot of guys who can get away with just wrestling and really good striking. | ||
| For a while. | ||
| For a while. | ||
| Yeah, if you can keep the fights tight. | ||
| You've got to be good at everything. | ||
| And people are leaving out razor-sharp finishing jiu-jitsu. | ||
| They're leaving that out. | ||
| There's a lot of guys that are spending most of their time working on their striking, which is great. | ||
| But I think the main concern is, you know what? | ||
| I'm going to be as tough as I can. | ||
| I don't want to be exposed. | ||
| I don't want to get knocked. | ||
| I'm going to do everything I can... | ||
| To not get knocked the fuck out in front of the world. | ||
| So most people focus on the striking. | ||
| I totally understand that. | ||
| But you have, if you want to make, if you want to fight, if you want a long career, you want a long successful career, you have to fall in love with jujitsu. | ||
| And that means you have to get into, you have to study the top guys. | ||
| And the top guys are Marcelo, Hodger Gracie, and Jeff Glover. | ||
| Just the most beautiful jujitsu. | ||
| Just watch that. | ||
| And you got to start getting into that. | ||
| If you're not into it, And your career's not going that great, ask yourself that question. | ||
| Think about what I'm saying. | ||
| You've got to fall in love with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| Not just striking and wrestling. | ||
| Especially if you like fighting, you're going to want to have a career that's long. | ||
| You're going to want to take as little damage as possible. | ||
| And if you don't have really good submissions and that option isn't in your toolbox at all times, you're going to engage in longer fights than necessary. | ||
| You're going to get more damage than necessary. | ||
| There's guys that have equal striking. | ||
| But one guy will see an opening for a submission and jump on it even though he's striking with the guy because he recognizes it's the correct thing to do, that it's there. | ||
| But for some guys, they don't have that option in their toolbox. | ||
| And if you don't have that option in your toolbox, you're going to have longer fights. | ||
| They're going to be more brutal. | ||
| You're going to take more damage. | ||
| And you have less options. | ||
| And you can get hurt. | ||
| And overall, whoever has the less options is going to do not as good. | ||
| It's just science. | ||
| And if there's more time fighting, there's more time you're getting hit, there's more chances you're getting hurt. | ||
| It's that simple. | ||
| It's really that simple. | ||
| If you want to lengthen your career, you want to be as effective as possible. | ||
| And if you want to have the most dynamic career, you want to be as effective as possible. | ||
| Take whatever the fuck is there. | ||
| That's why George St. Pierre is so good. | ||
| George St. Pierre never commits to doing anything. | ||
| I mean, he might decide the game plan is to box you. | ||
| But if you take him down, it's not like he hasn't been working on his guard. | ||
| It's not like he hasn't been working on getting right back up to his feet. | ||
| It's not like he's not really comfortable strangling you on the ground if it's there. | ||
| He's not going to stand up and let you stand up and start banging it out with you again. | ||
| If he sees an opening, he's going to take it. | ||
| He's going to strangle you. | ||
| Are we ever going to see George St. Pierre be put on his back? | ||
| He fights some guy that's just putting him on his back at will, and we're going to have to see how good George St. Pierre's guard is? | ||
|
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Do you think that'll ever happen? | |
| This fight easily could be that. | ||
| Jake Shields could easily get a hold of George. | ||
| You think so? | ||
| Yes, I think stand-up-wise. | ||
| Stand-up-wise, George is very fluid. | ||
| He's much more fluid. | ||
| He's more capable. | ||
| His jab is nasty. | ||
| He does that Superman jab, too, and fucks you up with it. | ||
| He's nasty on his feet, man. | ||
| His leg kicks. | ||
| George. | ||
| Oh, for sure. | ||
| George, he's nasty. | ||
|
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Yeah, totally. | |
| He won a kickboxing contest with Tiago Alves, basically. | ||
| I mean, there were some takedowns in that fight, but the kickboxing part of it, the stand-up part, George won that shit. | ||
| George is a beast. | ||
| So Jake is at a significant disadvantage standing up. | ||
| But Jake is a motherfucker, dude. | ||
| If he gets a hold of him, if he gets that fucking double underhooks on George and really squeezes, if somehow or another he finds himself in a position where, you know, George zigs when he should have zags... | ||
| Or he somehow or another gets him pressed up against the cage and actually gets a hold of him. | ||
| Things get real interesting, man. | ||
| Things get real interesting. | ||
| It's all about how they're going to match up. | ||
| I mean, I could see it two ways. | ||
| I can see... | ||
| Jake Shields taking maybe 90 seconds to pass George's guard and then he finally passes and then within a minute he sinks in a rear naked choke or some guillotine and then puts him out and you're like wow man he took his time but he sort of went through George. | ||
| I could see that maybe or I could also see him not being able to pass George St. Pierre's guard. | ||
| George St. Pierre's guard might be insane by this time. | ||
| The last time we saw it, I think it was maybe Carl Prison or something. | ||
| I forget the last time we saw it, but he was on his back. | ||
| I don't think he did that much. | ||
| But now, who knows? | ||
| He's preparing for everything. | ||
| Maybe Jake Shields can't pass George, or he passes the half guard, and then he passes the side control, and then he recovers. | ||
| And like, damn, he's got to pass again. | ||
| One of those battles, one of those chess matches. | ||
| And if it's like that... | ||
| Maybe later in the rounds, George St. Pierre has a tired Jake Shields. | ||
| Jake Shields is able to get one takedown out of three or four attempts. | ||
| He's able to drag him down, but damn, now he can't pass his guard. | ||
| He's getting tired. | ||
| Now he's got to stand, and he's tired. | ||
| That could happen, too. | ||
| Or he could go through them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fuck. | |
| Who knows? | ||
| It's a total mystery. | ||
| It's a total mystery. | ||
| It could go both ways, and I'd go, oh, damn, it went that way. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I'm super excited for that one, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Who knows? | |
| I'm super excited for that. | ||
| Another scenario is Jake Shields cannot take down George St. Pierre not even once. | ||
| That's another scenario. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| I mean, if that happened, I'd be like, damn! | ||
| His wrestling wasn't good enough. | ||
| Because if you look at Josh Koscheck, man, Josh Koscheck on paper was a better wrestler than Jake Shields on paper. | ||
| He did more in college. | ||
| He was like an All-American. | ||
| Maybe a national champion once, I think. | ||
| I think he was the best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| Chuck Liddell told me Josh Koscheck was the best college wrestler ever. | ||
| He's so fast. | ||
| And he couldn't fuck with GSP. What if Jake Shields can't take down GSP? That's possible, too. | ||
| Fuck yeah, it's possible. | ||
| Or maybe he takes him down super easy. | ||
| Or maybe it looks like... | ||
| An interesting thing with the Phil Davis Noguera fight was Phil Davis could not take down Lil Nog in that first round. | ||
| And it looked... | ||
| It looked like, for me, if I was Phil Davis' coach, I would have been like, man, you can't take him down. | ||
| But you know what Phil Davis kept doing? | ||
| He kept trying. | ||
| And in the second round, he just kept trying, and then he finally got him down. | ||
| He switched it from doubles to singles. | ||
| Once he did that, he started getting them. | ||
| And he just kept fucking plugging away with the wrestling. | ||
| A lot of wrestlers at that point would have just said, fuck it, I'm going to stand with him and take my chances there. | ||
| Well, Phil Davis is so confident with his wrestling. | ||
| Yeah, he just stuck with it. | ||
| Did you hear his post-fight interview? | ||
| He had a lot of physical problems coming into his camp. | ||
| Apparently, yeah, he got injured a couple times, and he was having some real problems where he wasn't sure if he was going to go through the fight. | ||
| You see how fast he flicks up those head kicks, dude? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Holy shit! | ||
| He landed that front kick to the face like Anderson does, too. | ||
|
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That's crazy! | |
| His legs are so powerful. | ||
| And so fast, he just springs up. | ||
| God damn! | ||
| He's got the most ridiculous mesomorphic build ever. | ||
| As far as, you look at the classic mesomorph, there's different body structures. | ||
| Ectomorph, what is it? | ||
| What was the other one? | ||
| I don't know any of those morphs, bro. | ||
| Mesomorph, ectomorph, endomorph. | ||
| I never spend time on the morphs. | ||
| Ectomorph is really skinny, and mesomorphs are really wide shoulders, heavily muscled, really super athlete builds. | ||
| And he's got a perfect mesomorphic build. | ||
| His hips are really narrow, but then it flares out to big shoulders. | ||
| He's spectacularly the way he looks. | ||
| He's like a bulldog. | ||
| No, it looks like a fucking... | ||
| Like a comic book superhero. | ||
| Isn't it weird that it's kind of... | ||
| It's like on the fence of being racist, kind of? | ||
| If you bring up the African-American... | ||
| There's an incredible build? | ||
| Huh? | ||
| Oh, the African-American... | ||
| You bring up the African-American athlete that just takes over all sports. | ||
| Do you even talk about that? | ||
| A lot of guys like Phil Davis and Jon Jones, they work fucking incredibly hard. | ||
| This is not just... | ||
| A matter of guys who are just genetically gifted and they don't have to try. | ||
| No. | ||
| The thing that both those guys have in common besides being black and besides being super athletes is they're both super fucking driven. | ||
| They work really hard. | ||
| And they're both really intelligent guys who know what they have to do and go through it and do it. | ||
| So when anybody questions what they've done to get where they are, they're like, well, fuck you. | ||
| You have no idea how much work I put in. | ||
| This is not easy. | ||
| They're still better at it than other people. | ||
| Yeah, it's like they got all the ingredients. | ||
| You can't be a natural, gifted athlete and not work hard. | ||
| That's not good enough. | ||
| You gotta have both. | ||
| You gotta work hard. | ||
| And the edge is the natural stuff is the edge. | ||
| I'm no super athlete, but when I was doing Taekwondo, I know there were certain people that I had physical advantages over. | ||
| That they were undeniable. | ||
| Just having larger bones for my size, being able to hit harder. | ||
| There's certain things that you... | ||
| They're undeniable. | ||
| Isn't that weird how it's kind of racist to talk about that shit? | ||
| Well, I can talk about it myself, though, because I'm Italian. | ||
| Look, Joey Diaz was talking to me about this on the phone the other day. | ||
| He's like, your whole family, they're fucking masons. | ||
| Masons from Italy. | ||
|
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Those guineas make good masons because everybody else tapped out. | |
| Everybody else is like, fuck this, I'm not carrying rocks. | ||
| The guineas are like, fuck you, I'll carry these fucking rocks. | ||
| I mean, it's no different in a racist way than the idea that African Americans were at one point in time slaves and they were bred to be larger and stronger. | ||
| Why is that racist? | ||
| People got fired. | ||
| Jimmy the Greek got fired. | ||
| Isn't that a proven fact? | ||
| Is it a proven fact? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's like a racist thing. | ||
| Why is it racist to say that they have the fucking greatest bodies of all time? | ||
| Why is it gracious to say they're the greatest athletes ever? | ||
| Michael Jordan, I mean, stop! | ||
| Who the fuck is a greater athlete than Michael Jordan? | ||
| You remember when we were kids, you used to see those pictures of him flying through the fucking air? | ||
| When was the last time a white guy was flying through the air in a basketball game like that? | ||
| I mean, he could fly! | ||
| You remember those photos in Sports Illustrated where you were like, there's no way that's real! | ||
| There's no way that guy's that high in the air. | ||
| He could fly. | ||
| It's the reason. | ||
| It's like... | ||
| I think the people that think it's racist see it as when they say, if you bring it up, it's almost like, yeah, you're a better athlete, but it's because we owned you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It's that kind of feeling. | ||
| Well, I could see that, yeah. | ||
| All my relatives are from Italy and Ireland, so nobody owned anybody in my family. | ||
| You might be half black, Joe. | ||
| Well, I'm mostly Sicilian, so if you follow the movie True Romance... | ||
| There's a lot of black in my past. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| If I had a time machine and I could go back, and I could mess with parallel dimensions and universes, I would choose a life where I was in a world where all the Mexicans were enslaved, and they got created amazing athletes, and then I was a product of that. | ||
| For me, right now, I think that's a cool background. | ||
| My people were enslaved. | ||
| For me, I don't understand the... | ||
| Like, you know, because I'm not black, so they have a whole different feeling for it. | ||
| I think if I go back into my history, if I could get a time machine and go back to the history of my DNA, I think along evolution, you know, if evolution is real and if at one point in time we were actually lower hominids and we evolved to become humans and these hairless apes, I think there must be stages along the way, you know? | ||
| And I think at one point in time, one of my great, great ancestors fucked a monkey he probably shouldn't have been fucking anymore. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| It was like one crazy monkey that was probably going to die out. | ||
| One crazy wild monkey. | ||
| And this more evolved monkey was like, God damn, but I am horny. | ||
| And he shot a load of that crazy monkey. | ||
| And that monkey became like this hybrid. | ||
| And that's where I, that's my genetic lineage. | ||
| I definitely came from, I definitely have just a hair more monkey in them than the regular person. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| There's no doubt about it. | ||
| I mean, if you look at evolution, you know, you look at like evolved people, you know who looks evolved to me? | ||
| Asian people do. | ||
| Asian people, they have less hair. | ||
| They're fucking awesome at math. | ||
| They're incredibly hard workers. | ||
| You know, they're talking about having these... | ||
| They're going to have this thing in Japan where the nuclear power plants have melted down. | ||
| Dude, a bunch of people, more than 50, are going to die for sure because they went in there to clean that shit up. | ||
| Like, they sacrificed themselves. | ||
| That shit would never happen with my people. | ||
| Anybody in my family? | ||
| Anybody with my genetics? | ||
| That's not happening. | ||
| My culture? | ||
| That's not happening. | ||
| We're not going to do that. | ||
| The Japanese to me, that seems to be the most of all. | ||
| So that's racist against me. | ||
| And... | ||
| I think I'm closer to a monkey than Japanese people are. | ||
| I'm a racist against myself. | ||
| Speaking of fucking animals, have you seen that Vice Guide to where they fuck donkeys? | ||
| Yes, in Colombia. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I didn't think they would actually show it. | ||
| Or show a 12-year-old kid. | ||
| I wonder if that was trolling. | ||
| What if they trolled us? | ||
| They would be in trouble already. | ||
| But when that 12-year-old goes like, I like to spread the pink pussy apart and it's so red. | ||
| I love to fuck the donkey pussy. | ||
| They fuck donkeys. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Yeah, it's so disturbing. | ||
| Who are the Germans? | ||
| They catch these Colombians. | ||
| They catch these guys fucking donkeys. | ||
| It's like there's a whole bunch of them fucking donkeys. | ||
| I'm sure there's gotta be. | ||
| If there's people fucking animals anywhere, it's happening in all cultures. | ||
| With this part of Colombia, it's kind of well known in their society that your first sex is with a donkey. | ||
| It's normal. | ||
| How weird is it that that is going on the exact same time your neighborhood is going on? | ||
| happening at the same time on this planet there's parts of this planet that are in a totally different frequency than we are right here yeah if I lived in Colombia in some third-world country like that I'd probably fucking a donkey every now and then for goof fuck it What else is there to do? | ||
| There's probably not enough chicks. | ||
| All the good ones get taken up by the dictators. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They all get the best ones. | ||
| They get them swooped up. | ||
| Can you imagine how much it must suck to be born into some really fucking crazy little small country that's super poor and has dirt roads? | ||
| And you don't even realize how fucked up everything is until one day you go somewhere and there's a TV. And you look at the TV and you see like Manhattan and shit and buildings and skyscrapers and people eating dinner and juicy steaks. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're like... | |
| What the fuck? | ||
| Like, where's all this happening? | ||
| And you're stuck with no shoes on. | ||
| Your shoes are made out of water bottles. | ||
| You ever seen those kids? | ||
| They make flip-flops out of water bottles. | ||
| Have you seen that shit? | ||
| Yeah, that's going on right now, man. | ||
| Going on right now in the world. | ||
| They also said that in that documentary that there was like, sometimes there's like that one slutty donkey that's just walking around the streets. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And he's like, sometimes I was so horny, I would not even use a condom. | |
| Now fuck the neighborhood donkey slut. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know, fucking sheep is huge, you know? | |
| Yeah, sheep fucking, yeah. | ||
| Remember that sheep vagina bit? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That mockumentary for the band show that was never even close to getting made. | ||
| What was it? | ||
| Well, we were talking about maybe sheep pussy is way better than regular pussy. | ||
| It's supposed to be though. | ||
| Sheep pussy is supposed to be as realistic to a real pussy as possible. | ||
| But it gets so good. | ||
| The bit is it gets so good. | ||
| It's a 2020 mockumentary. | ||
| This is already what's happening. | ||
| Sheep pussy is so good that it leaked into the city. | ||
| People started living with sheep in the city and it got to be a big problem and everyone's fucking sheep. | ||
| And... | ||
| That's it? | ||
| No, there was like violent murders and stuff. | ||
| Oh, there was a sheep problem. | ||
| Sheeps would start murdering other sheeps. | ||
| Yeah, because if they smell... | ||
| They would get jealous. | ||
| They feel great. | ||
| They feel way better than a female vagina. | ||
| Everyone's into it. | ||
| Everyone loves their sheep. | ||
| Everyone's got sheep at their houses. | ||
| But if you cheat on your sheep, if they smell sheep on you, they'll attack you and eat your dick and just kill you like a chimpanzee. | ||
| A few dudes got murdered. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| That's becoming a problem. | ||
| So they're outlying sheep vagina. | ||
| And we had sheep gang war where the sheep would go into the next door neighbor's fucking house and kill their sheep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
If you had to fuck one animal, which kind of animal would you? | |
| You would do a sheep? | ||
| Seems like, just go with the flow, man. | ||
| Yeah, I think they already figured it out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I mean? | |
| I think them farmers tried all that shit. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Giraffe? | ||
| No. | ||
| Fino? | ||
| No. | ||
| Alligator? | ||
| Not worth it. | ||
| They're settling on sheep for some reason. | ||
| Yeah, there's a reason. | ||
| Let them do the groundwork. | ||
| Yeah, I believe them. | ||
| Listen, if they tell you that those peppers are hot, trust me, it's because somebody ate them. | ||
| They do Joey just discovering that he just started fucking sheep pussy and he's like telling you how great it is. | ||
| Listen, cocksucker, fuck it. | ||
| Forget that fucking fleshlight, whatever that nonsense is. | ||
| Listen to me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Sheep. | |
| There's a reason why those fucking farmers in Montana and up there in Butte, those dudes with leather faces look like fucking catchersmiths smoking Marlboros and fucking sheepdog all day long. | ||
| That's what they're doing. | ||
| And those guys, they know about New York. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They go, fuck. | |
| I don't want to leave. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I'm good. | ||
| I got my reefer. | ||
| I got my sheep. | ||
| I'm going to shoot a fucking bear this afternoon. | ||
| Listen, cocksucker. | ||
| Sheep pussy. | ||
| It's where it's at. | ||
| They got it right. | ||
| They're living by streams while we're here like fucking animals in Burbank. | ||
| Took me an hour in traffic. | ||
| An hour in traffic, dawg, to get to fucking L.A. An hour! | ||
| It ain't right. | ||
| It ain't right. | ||
| That guy's got it nailed. | ||
| These fucking sheep smoking joints. | ||
| From his mouth to God's ears. | ||
| I think I would go crazy and fuck a dolphin if I had to choose. | ||
| Or just go really crazy and fuck like a bullfrog. | ||
| Let me tell you something about dolphins. | ||
| The dolphin's going to fuck you, son. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| No, I'm saying any of these animals. | ||
| No, I'm saying any animal. | ||
| Porpentine muscle. | ||
| I'm saying any animal. | ||
| Like you could have a tiger if you wanted to. | ||
| They would sedate it enough to get some roofies. | ||
| Oh, you want a roofie and date rape a tiger. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's good. | |
| You could date rape a dolphin. | ||
| You could date rape any animal is what I'm saying. | ||
| Yeah, because a dolphin, you would actually have a spiritual connection. | ||
| They're so smart. | ||
| And it'd be slimier. | ||
| I would go with sheep. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You look that dolphin in the eye and you're like, man, you could actually fall in love with a dolphin. | |
| It does all these fucking tricks for you. | ||
| It sucks your dick from sardines. | ||
| You're like, holy shit! | ||
| A dolphin sucking your dick would be terrifying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Can you imagine that? | |
| You'd be like, oh! | ||
| In the water. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You're just like, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. | |
| You're barely feeling the teeth. | ||
| Oh, careful, Mr. Dolphin! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Careful with the teeth! | |
| You could fuck him and he can take you for a ride. | ||
| Do you imagine if they were giving you a gentle dolphin blowjob with those giant incisors? | ||
| With all the crazy people on this planet, you know there's been one fucking dude that worked at SeaWorld. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They tried to let the dolphin suck his dick. | |
| Come on, there's gotta be one or two. | ||
| I think by the time it was 2011, all you have to do is think about it. | ||
| If you think about it, you say, what do you think someone's ever fucked a dolphin? | ||
| Ah! | ||
| If you can think about it, it's been done a thousand times. | ||
| Dude, a YouTube video of that? | ||
| That'd be amazing. | ||
| Well, they would pull it down, those pussies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They'd have to put it on Pornhub. | |
| Is there a website for bestiality? | ||
| That's illegal, right? | ||
| It would have to be hosted in another country. | ||
| It's illegal? | ||
| Can the FBI come to your house if you're watching animals get jacked? | ||
| Probably if they wanted to. | ||
| I think federally it's illegal, but state-wise... | ||
| See, the weird thing with states' laws is that's how that movie Zoo got made. | ||
| In some states, it's still legal to fuck animals and let animals fuck you. | ||
| Dude, can you imagine getting busted by the FBI for having all this, like, bestiality porn? | ||
| But, like, how many guys out there were, like, fighting it? | ||
| Like, this was a joke. | ||
| This made me laugh. | ||
| I wasn't into it. | ||
| Oh, the people that downloaded it? | ||
| I don't think you go to jail if you download it. | ||
| But you go to jail if you put it online and, like, you know, have it on a website. | ||
| Oh, if you download it and go to jail? | ||
| No. | ||
| Because you can always say, man, your honor, I thought this was hilarious. | ||
| My buddies would watch it all the time. | ||
| We're laughing. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think... | |
| I don't think, as long as it's a victimless crime, as long as it looks like it's a grown adult, I don't think that you get in trouble for that. | ||
| You're not supposed to be in possession of it, but I don't think you would actually get in trouble. | ||
| Yeah, there's got to be a website. | ||
| If you think you fucked the craziest, weirdest creature, put it online and have a judge and have a contest. | ||
| There's got to be a contest, dude. | ||
| Like fucking every single breed of dog. | ||
| Or the wildest animal. | ||
| If you can get a fucking polar bear... | ||
| You know, figure it out. | ||
| Anytime there's any sort of a controversial thing like this, the FBI will infiltrate these fucking groups. | ||
| Dude, can you imagine? | ||
| They'll pretend that they want to fuck animals too. | ||
| It's like a... | ||
| Before you know it, you know, right when the guy's going to stick out and there's a donkey, freeze, FBI! What? | ||
| Motherfucker, you got me this donkey! | ||
| It's like an American Idol thing. | ||
| See who could fuck the craziest animal. | ||
| Hey, what are you doing? | ||
| What do you think about setups like that? | ||
| Dogs wouldn't even be in the ballpark. | ||
| People would get into trying to get bears and shit. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| The oddest ones. | ||
| Trying to get like a hippopotamus. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Like a rope around its neck and shit. | ||
| Dude, if there was a $5 million grand American Idol prize, so you could fuck the craziness on video. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh my god. | |
| Five million dollars! | ||
| All we would need is a couple nuclear meltdowns in this country. | ||
| Lower the price of life, and then for sure that could be a real show. | ||
| Who can fuck the craziest animal? | ||
| Next on Spike. | ||
| After Tough 196. Top season 196. Brock Lesnar is still the UFC heavyweight champion because now they have genetic engineering and he's fucking 200 years old. | ||
| Dude, the first year... | ||
| Fucking a koala bear. | ||
| The first year they wouldn't get the crazy wild animals. | ||
| They'd have to build by the third and fourth season. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| They're getting crazier and crazier. | ||
| The craziest would be a fucking killer whale or something. | ||
| Realistically... | ||
| Statistically, there's not much difference between the human beings of today and the human beings that were having people fight tigers in the Roman Empire. | ||
| We're the same fucking people. | ||
| The only thing is that we've managed to not have a giant natural disaster between then and now. | ||
| So we've accumulated a bunch of data on how you shouldn't act. | ||
| That's the only reason why we don't have people fighting tigers in the middle of a fucking arena today. | ||
| Because if somebody put it out today, there would be a bunch of people that would be into it. | ||
| And if anything ever happened to the people today... | ||
| If there was some fucking asteroid impact that killed off half of us and the people survived, it was all fucking chaos. | ||
| For sure, within 100 years, people would be fighting tigers in an arena again. | ||
| It would start all over again. | ||
|
unidentified
|
And what year did they get that bad? | |
| How did that come about? | ||
| Because they had to come a point in time where they're like, dude, we can't be... | ||
| We can't having... | ||
| It all died off. | ||
| The Empire died off. | ||
| That was the... | ||
| I mean, I think probably today somewhere, if you've got enough money, you can get a dude to fight a tiger. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Yeah, was it the fall of the Roman Empire? | ||
| Yeah, yeah, definitely. | ||
| They didn't move it to Greece or to England? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't know. | |
| I don't think so. | ||
| Why not? | ||
| I think the Romans were the ones who were into the Coliseum and all the crazy fights that they would set up. | ||
| They must have been the gangsterist family ever to take over. | ||
| You're the head of the Roman Empire. | ||
| You're the fucking emperor of the greatest ancient empire. | ||
| The Romans dominated all. | ||
| They smashed everybody. | ||
| And you're the emperor? | ||
| You're having fucking orgies. | ||
| You're We're having people fight lions in front of you. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| Could you imagine what that must have been like back then? | ||
| There was no internet, no television, and this guy was the king of Rome. | ||
| He was the emperor of Rome. | ||
| Everyone's bored as fuck. | ||
| He would stand up and he would fucking give speeches. | ||
| To the death! | ||
|
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Yeah. | |
| And you'd have hordes, thousands of men raising their spears, cheering for you. | ||
| I bet that had something to do with getting elected. | ||
| Like, this motherfucker, he comes with the crazy shit. | ||
| At first it was gladiators fighting each other, then animals fighting animals, then guys fighting animals. | ||
| That's like a new campaign to get elected. | ||
| I think the whole royalty thing probably all started off because everybody wants to think that they're the man. | ||
| Everybody wants to think that they could be the guy running shit. | ||
| If you think you're around like a regular dude, you're like, this dude isn't better than me. | ||
| I could be better than that guy. | ||
| That's like the classic male ego problem. | ||
| But if you get someone who's elevated to the point of royalty, Like, you can't even question. | ||
| You can't get to know them. | ||
| You are not allowed to get to know them. | ||
| So you never get to crack the puzzle. | ||
| You can't be sitting right next to them going, this motherfucker's crazy. | ||
| You're running shit? | ||
| Why are you running shit? | ||
| Hey, everybody, get over here. | ||
| This guy we're calling the king, this guy's a crazy asshole. | ||
| This guy's banging his daughters and he's fucking killing people for a goof and having his wives executed. | ||
| He's crazy. | ||
| We've got to stop letting him run shit. | ||
| He's just a regular person. | ||
| You know, but they never got a chance to say he's just a regular person. | ||
| You can get close to him. | ||
| That's the only way a person can really rule. | ||
| They have to rule as if there's something outside of the human race. | ||
| They have to rule like a deity. | ||
| They have to rule like they're a god. | ||
| They have to rule like they're, you can't even come close to them. | ||
| You got to get on your knees, sire. | ||
| Thank you for hearing my words. | ||
| You know, you have to get on your knees and not make eye contact with him. | ||
| And then when he put his hand out, you would kiss it. | ||
| It's like you had to have that trick to keep an empire together. | ||
| You couldn't have access to information. | ||
| It's like the ultimate example of how those empires... | ||
| The more access to information, the more you realize that the guy in charge is just fucking crazy. | ||
| The less likely it is to be able to have something like that. | ||
| That's why all these fucking empires are falling apart all over the world, man. | ||
| That's what Egypt, why it's going on in Egypt with Mubarak and why in Libya they're trying to get rid of Gaddafi. | ||
| I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch of American black ops involved as well. | ||
| There's a bunch of CIA shit that, you know, forcing these people out because they're probably sitting on a giant pool of oil. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| The people are into it because information, because they're getting information. | ||
| I haven't listened to the Alex Jones version of what's going on in Libya. | ||
| I'm sure there's a whole different version. | ||
| I'm very interested in it. | ||
| I just haven't had time, Alex. | ||
| I haven't heard it either. | ||
| I haven't heard it either. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| When shit is really happening, when real shit is going down, that's the last time I want to listen to Alex. | ||
| Because he'll get you distracted. | ||
| It's eugenics. | ||
| What they're doing right now is they've got... | ||
| FEMA has black plastic coffins outside of Dallas. | ||
| I've seen them, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| I have the photographs. | ||
| And there's 200 billion of them. | ||
| They know there's not even 200 billion people. | ||
| So we're talking clones now. | ||
| Clones of people. | ||
| Life extension. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
| Buy gold. | ||
| You need to buy gold, ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| 2012. Solar impact. | ||
| Gold will protect you. | ||
| I like that little, we will be right back. | ||
| We'll be right back. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That was good. | |
| That's what he does. | ||
| We'll be right back, folks. | ||
| That's slick. | ||
| He's got to run a show. | ||
| He's out of his fucking mind. | ||
| Alex Jones rules. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| He's awesome. | ||
| But he's out of his mind. | ||
| I think Alex Jones is dead on the money like 70% of the time. | ||
| That's what scares the shit out of me. | ||
| All the crazy stuff that he throws in there, I mean, maybe he's right. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seems crazy to me. | ||
| But the real stuff that he's dead on the money about, it's almost cheapened by all the other, the histronics, the craziness. | ||
| He knew with the Japan thing, he knew about those explosions like days before they would announce them. | ||
| They were not admitting shit. | ||
| He would get shit like somehow on the inside. | ||
| Could have been a lucky call. | ||
| Could have been a lucky call. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Reactor 4 just blew up. | |
| He's like, damn, I got a 1 in 6 chance. | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
|
unidentified
|
4 hit! | |
| 4 hit! | ||
| Oh shit! | ||
| Yeah, that's funny. | ||
| Alex, you did it! | ||
| Well, he's a fucking news junkie, and he has access to shit that other people don't have access to. | ||
| I wonder why he's still alive. | ||
| How come they haven't tried to kill him? | ||
| Why would they kill him, man? | ||
| Look, you don't have to kill him. | ||
| For what? | ||
| He's not stopping anything. | ||
| No one's stopping anything. | ||
| And you know what? | ||
| The things that get exposed, they're supposed to get exposed. | ||
| He's like the Perez Hilton of the fucking, the political world. | ||
| That's what it is. | ||
| It's like, you know, he's exposing shit that, you know what? | ||
| You fucked up anyway. | ||
| You shouldn't have been doing it this way anyway, stupid. | ||
| You know this is wrong. | ||
| And everybody's in government. | ||
| It's not like everybody's evil in government. | ||
| But there's a lot of fucking stupid, poor choices that get made. | ||
| And the better they get exposed, the better it is for everybody. | ||
| Even the people that are governing the people. | ||
| They need to be checked too. | ||
| It's not like everybody in government is evil. | ||
| They have to be evil. | ||
| They don't necessarily have to be evil. | ||
| A lot of people go into government with good intentions, but along the way they get stifled by corruption and bullshit. | ||
| So this is all good for everybody. | ||
| This is good for everybody when shit like this happens. | ||
| But some of the stuff that he says is terrifying. | ||
| Like, one thing that got passed by everybody that you never hear discussed was during the World Trade Organization meetings in Seattle. | ||
| You remember those? | ||
| It was where the people were stopped from protesting. | ||
| This is what happened. | ||
| There was peaceful protests. | ||
| It was a long time ago. | ||
| I think it was like, I want to say 2001, but I'm just pulling that number out of my ass. | ||
| I just pulled that out of my ass. | ||
| I think it was actually before that. | ||
| No, it was before that. | ||
| Because it was before 9-11. | ||
| It was quite a bit before 9-11. | ||
| The protesters were actually CIA guys? | ||
| Yeah, well the protesters were cops. | ||
| They were paid anarchists. | ||
| They were people that were sent in to go in and cause chaos, and break windows, and they all wore ski masks, and they all wore military-issued boots, and nobody knew them. | ||
| They weren't involved in the rest of the protests. | ||
| The protest was peaceful and inconvenient because all these foreign delegates and all these people were coming, these representatives of foreign countries were coming to that one place and to have all this protest around was embarrassing and it was disturbing and it was causing a lot of press. | ||
| They were having to answer a lot of questions about it. | ||
| So they turned it into a violent display. | ||
| They turned it into a violent protest. | ||
| They being the government. | ||
| They came in with guys that were in military outfits and they would wear ski masks on and they broke windows and they smashed. | ||
| And Alex Jones documents every single aspect of it, including these guys going into a safe house and being allowed to negotiate and eventually all being released. | ||
| I mean, he documents all this and, you know, he does it with news reports and he does it with video footage and it's pretty fucking crazy because what they did is they shut down a protest. | ||
| They sent some fucking goons in and they shut down a protest. | ||
| And this isn't Nazi Germany. | ||
| This isn't the Roman Empire. | ||
| This is the United States of America. | ||
| That's crazy. | ||
| It's fucking nuts, and it's 100%. | ||
| It's not like this is a conspiracy theory. | ||
| They stopped people from walking through with things that said WTO with a red line on it. | ||
| How fucking un-American is that? | ||
| Anything is possible after that. | ||
| You're saying that you can't go in with a pin that says World Trade Organization, that you're opposed to it? | ||
| You can't have an opinion? | ||
| That's not even offensive. | ||
| There's no swears, no curses. | ||
| It's not something that would hurt children. | ||
| You know, you just have a WTO with a red line through it, and you're telling me I can't go to work. | ||
| They wouldn't let people into buildings. | ||
| They had cops there with guns that were telling people, you have to take that shirt off, you have to take that pin off. | ||
| They have videos of this. | ||
| In fucking America, they created a no protest zone. | ||
| So just for the stuff like that that Alex exposes, you know, whether or not he's right about a missile hitting the Pentagon or any of that other stuff, shit, I don't know, man. | ||
| There's not enough time in the world to be dwelling on all this shit. | ||
| But he's right about enough. | ||
| He's wrong about a couple things, but if you're going to judge a guy based on, like, oh, he was wrong about this, so he can't know anything else, you know, then none of us would have any opinions that mattered. | ||
| He has fucked up a little bit here and there, but, man, I believe the shit he tells me, I believe, I'm confident with in the 90 percentile. | ||
| I'm confident. | ||
| Well, he's a fun guy, too. | ||
| I enjoy his company. | ||
| He's a great guy. | ||
| I love hanging out with that guy. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| It's pretty surreal hanging out with Alex Jones, right? | ||
| Yeah, he's cool, man. | ||
| We took him to Vegas. | ||
| We took him to UFC. We were all hanging out and having a good time. | ||
| You guys, I'm really happy you brought me out here. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm in here. | |
| I need to relax. | ||
| You know, fighting New World Order, man. | ||
| It's fucking crazy. | ||
| You know, you get a little crazy. | ||
| He stresses me out. | ||
| I love it. | ||
| I love it because all he, he loves talking about all the, it's like, he could go two ways. | ||
| He could be a guy like, please don't talk about conspiracies like anymore. | ||
| Right, I'm tired of doing that for a living. | ||
| But no, not Alex Jones. | ||
| He'll go, Donald Rollers. | ||
| He's the one who, he's the one who got that pass through to Diet Coke. | ||
| That's how it got in. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay? | ||
| I feel bad for him, though. | ||
| I feel like he needs to calm down. | ||
| He does, but he doesn't. | ||
| He needs to turn off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He does, but he doesn't. | |
| He does, but that's him. | ||
| Yeah, let him be him. | ||
| You know, you let him be him. | ||
| Imagine if they made the Brian Red Band conspiracy show. | ||
| You'd be like, hey, guys, I mean, who knows? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| You know. | ||
| Why are we fucking freaking out about this? | ||
| All right, we'll be right back after these words for the fleshlights. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That'll be the Brian Red Band conspiracy radio show. | |
| He'd be like, I think we're all getting a little carried away here, okay? | ||
| We don't know shit. | ||
| I don't know what's happening in Japan. | ||
|
unidentified
|
But guess what? | |
| That's way the fuck over there. | ||
| Forget it. | ||
| God. | ||
| Everybody relax. | ||
| That's you. | ||
| FEMA has 300,000 helicopters with beds in them ready to go. | ||
| They can stay in the air for up to three days, okay? | ||
| Solar-charged helicopters in case of an asteroidal impact. | ||
| It's recommended that they... | ||
| He'll fucking... | ||
| He'll just fill your brain up every day with more information about doom and the apocalypse. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love it. | |
| I love it. | ||
| I have so many questions. | ||
| He has answers to all my questions. | ||
| The craziest thing is he's always selling gold. | ||
| I think that motherfucker just needs to step up and start selling gasoline and bullets. | ||
| Stop fucking around with this gold. | ||
| Because you know if some shit goes down, gold's going to be useless. | ||
| Unless the Anunnaki land again and we gotta give them gold to let them take us aboard the UFO. Unless that happens, gold's gonna be useless. | ||
| I think gold is universal no matter what. | ||
| In Mad Max times, gold is still gonna be. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, I think it is no matter what. | ||
| That's the one thing we all agree on in this planet. | ||
| We don't agree on shit. | ||
| Every country, even the same religion. | ||
| It all depends on whether Whether or not, by the time the apocalypse hits, we've created artificial people. | ||
| If we created like whores, artificial whores, you know, soulless, mindless, robot whores that you could just fuck the shit out of, and they love you, and they're so happy, and they just shut off and wait for you to come back. | ||
| And when you come back, they talk to you perfectly. | ||
| It's just like Blade Runner, except they don't have a soul. | ||
| Why would they shut off? | ||
| They should be cleaning your house. | ||
| Technology and your house. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No, no, no. | |
| You got one of those too, bro. | ||
| You got this crazy looking Tongan woman with face tattoos. | ||
| She cleans your house. | ||
| She cleans your house slash bodyguard. | ||
| Can you fuck that house robot? | ||
| No, you're better off getting a dude house robot with no dick, a eunuch. | ||
| He's built like the Incredible Hulk, except downstairs it's like Ken. | ||
| I'm never going to have a guy robot. | ||
| And his face is all fucked up. | ||
| He has one eye, like one big cyclops. | ||
| There's no way... | ||
| They're still like girls. | ||
| No, he's got three eyes. | ||
| He's got three eyes because he needs to be able to see everywhere so he can protect you. | ||
| Can you imagine him in the first case? | ||
| He's here to be your protector. | ||
| Yeah, you know, that's when technology ends because all the guys building this shit, they're going to have harems, dude. | ||
| Just think about it. | ||
| The nerds of the world, they're going to have like 10 chicks around them at all times. | ||
| They're going to be going on date after date after date after date. | ||
| For monkeys, what monkey would ever think about having a pet dog? | ||
| They'd be like, what the What the fuck are you talking about? | ||
| You can't trust a dog. | ||
| They're gonna kill you, man. | ||
| You can't have a fucking pet dog. | ||
| How are you gonna be able to control a dog? | ||
| Well, when humans evolve to a certain point, we'll be able to have pet things that we've created, like pet monsters. | ||
| Your house will be guarded by superheroes. | ||
| Juggernaut will guard your house. | ||
| You'll have your own genetically engineered man. | ||
| He's way better than a robot. | ||
| Fuck yeah, he never sleeps. | ||
| He can jump over a building. | ||
| He fucking leaps over buildings, lands on shit. | ||
| Try to break into my house, bitch. | ||
| I got superheroes guarding this, you crackhead. | ||
| Crackhead with a screwdriver, you gonna get past a superhero? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| That'd be amazing. | ||
| I am so fascinated by what the fuck ever is going to happen when things keep going. | ||
| I watch all those Ray Kurzweil lectures, and I've read some of his papers and some of his articles about the singularity and the idea of artificial intelligence. | ||
| It's all going to happen. | ||
| We're not going to stop. | ||
| We've created so much between now and just a couple hundred years ago. | ||
| The difference between our life now, and I was watching The Unforgiven the other day on a plane. | ||
| Still badass, bro. | ||
| Still badass from like 1990, whatever the fuck it was. | ||
| That movie is awesome. | ||
| Clint Eastwood is the shit. | ||
| Especially in that movie. | ||
| That's the best western movie ever. | ||
| But I looked at the way these fucking people were living and I'm like, my god. | ||
| That's less than 200 years ago. | ||
| Less than 200 years ago. | ||
| And they're riding horses and getting rained on and shit. | ||
| And they're going to these places and the houses are made of wood and they're leaking like crazy because of the rain. | ||
| They didn't even know how to make roofs right back then. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's just... | |
| That's probably also just dramatic scenes in a movie. | ||
| Don't you think back then if you had a leaky roof, you'd be on that thing? | ||
| Not the sheriff. | ||
| Gene Hackman. | ||
| Not Gene Hackman the sheriff. | ||
| He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. | ||
| There's nothing else to do. | ||
| There's no fucking internet to fucking bother. | ||
| He's like, oh, I have a leaky roof. | ||
| Movie geeks right now would be like, that was part of the character development of Gene Hackman. | ||
| He was supposed to be incompetent, but yet cocky. | ||
| And that was the whole reason why it was so satisfying that Clint Eastwood killed him in the end. | ||
| Okay, dude? | ||
| I know. | ||
| I know. | ||
| We're just having fun here, you fucks. | ||
| Wouldn't you think that, like, McDonnell Douglas or, like, one of those companies, a huge aircraft or something, would be, like, involved in... | ||
| The number one product on the planet would be, like, a real person that you could fuck. | ||
| That you could control. | ||
| Yeah, that you could control. | ||
| That would be the ultimate. | ||
| A robot that looked... | ||
| The best robot would look exactly human. | ||
| Could you imagine if you had just, you know, you had a robot woman in your house and you come home and your wife, like, lit it on fire? | ||
| Or she was fucking it. | ||
| Oh yeah, she's having to eat her asshole. | ||
|
unidentified
|
So you come on, what is this fucking robot's breath stinks? | |
| Your wife's just farting. | ||
| Smells like circuits. | ||
| Shitting in that thing's mouth while you're at work. | ||
| You come on, she's coughing and your robot's coughing and choking and she's got shit caked in her mouth. | ||
| Like, what the fuck have you been doing? | ||
| I shit in her mouth. | ||
| Can you imagine the first gay robot sex? | ||
| You want to keep that fucking robot whore in my house? | ||
| I'm going to shit in her mouth every day. | ||
| You wouldn't even feel bad because he's not a real person. | ||
| If you were shitting in your slave's mouth, you'd be like, well, that's kind of rude. | ||
| Dudes would get transvestite robots. | ||
| Oh, shit. | ||
| You know what I read the other day? | ||
| I need to verify this, of course, because every time I don't verify something that I read, people go, incorrect! | ||
| Disinformation! | ||
| I get so many angry tweets. | ||
| Relax, everybody. | ||
| Relax. | ||
| But this is what I read. | ||
| That more people are sex slaves today than were slaves back when slavery was legal. | ||
| How crazy is that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's one of those numbers too. | |
| How the fuck do they know? | ||
| Sex slaves live in basements and they can only come out when they're hungry for cock. | ||
| Who counts that guy? | ||
| Are they just guesstimating that every block there's one sex slave? | ||
| I think they do it the same way they do about Mexicans. | ||
| Just take a wild guess. | ||
| They don't know. | ||
| They don't have any idea. | ||
| They have no idea how many Mexicans there are. | ||
| They're just sneaking in here left and right. | ||
| My gardener... | ||
| I shouldn't say this. | ||
| I can't rat him out. | ||
| No. | ||
| I got a cool house gardener, and he knows a bunch of illegals. | ||
| He's legal himself, but he knows a bunch of illegals. | ||
| He's got some great stories about dudes going back and forth. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It took him a few tries, but he came back. | |
| They don't know. | ||
| They don't know, man. | ||
| This dude's going back and forth. | ||
| There's fucking three guys in Arizona with white pickup trucks trying to guard a million miles of fence. | ||
| Good luck, boys. | ||
| You're on your own. | ||
| Good luck. | ||
| You know how many fucking Mexicans get through there? | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| A lot of them do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
My grandfather came to this country illegally. | |
| He snuck over the border. | ||
| How about Cain Velasquez's dad's story? | ||
| He walked all the way to Sacramento twice. | ||
| That's craziness. | ||
| Yeah, he was picking grapes. | ||
| I think it was actually Oxnard or something like that. | ||
| That's a long motherfucking walk. | ||
| That could take like a year. | ||
| His hips are all fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, his hips are apparently all fucked up. | ||
| Yeah, I think maybe he took rides everywhere. | ||
| They had one show where they watched his family sneak across the border. | ||
| They followed him from sneaking across the border to trying to get someone to take them in in Phoenix. | ||
| They were trying to get someone to let them sleep in their garage for the night because they had just snuck in. | ||
| You know, people were like, man, you can't be here. | ||
| You can't be here. | ||
| And they were talking Spanish to them. | ||
| It was really crazy. | ||
| It was like these Mexicans that had snuck through did not want these guys that hadn't to be staying in their garage. | ||
| They just wanted a place to sleep for the night before they made it to town. | ||
| They were literally going into knocking on people's doors. | ||
| Can you help us? | ||
| They didn't have anything. | ||
| They had no food. | ||
| They had no money. | ||
| Like, wow. | ||
| You talk about taking chances. | ||
| It's really moving, man. | ||
| This couple, this man, this woman, they're holding hands, and they're trying to get across to America and try to get jobs, and they're talking to them in Spanish about what they're looking forward to when they go to America, and they're trying to make some money, and they're going to send money back home. | ||
| It's like, whoa, why can't they just come over? | ||
| What the fuck is that? | ||
| Why can't they just come over here? | ||
| Can't we just have a screening process to see who's nice, and if they're nice, let them over here? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that ridiculous? | ||
| The perfect road would be no borders. | ||
| Every place was the exact same. | ||
| It just seems... | ||
| I mean, people will get crazy. | ||
| Like, listen, bro, that's chaos. | ||
| There's a reason why there's borders. | ||
| There's a reason why there's border patrol. | ||
| They're there to protect you. | ||
| You can't have no rules. | ||
| You fucking hippies. | ||
| You all fucking... | ||
| Yeah, but if everybody was nice, wouldn't it be possible to have no borders, right? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| What the fuck is keeping... | ||
| That's the real issue at hand. | ||
| It's not more borders. | ||
| It's like, how do you make everybody nice? | ||
| How do you smooth it all out? | ||
| That's the real issue. | ||
| It's not borders. | ||
|
unidentified
|
There's got to be a map that you can get before you make the trip. | |
| Like a map of all the Home Depots and all the strawberry fields. | ||
| Move forward so you're actually talking into the microphone. | ||
| That's why he had to turn it up. | ||
| There's got to be a map of what? | ||
| Pump up the volume. | ||
| That would be valuable. | ||
| A map with all the Home Depots and all the strawberry fields in Southern California. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
| Like one of those maps of the stars. | ||
| You're going to get a job for sure. | ||
| You show up to a strawberry field, they're going to give you like 20 bucks or something. | ||
| You're for sure going to get work there. | ||
| That's the bottom of the barrel. | ||
| How crazy are those maps of the stars? | ||
| Those are so disgusting, man. | ||
| When you see some dude sitting there with a pile of names. | ||
| Hey, this is where this guy lives. | ||
| Go fuck with him. | ||
| This is where that guy lives. | ||
| Go stare at him while he's sleeping. | ||
| Have you ever done one of those? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| That's so creepy. | ||
| So creepy. | ||
| It's like, what are these guys thinking? | ||
| They're handing out free stalker guides. | ||
| This is the easy way to find where someone lives. | ||
| How easy is it to just make shit up? | ||
| Yeah, fucking Neil Diamond lives in that fucking house. | ||
| And fucking Brad Pitt. | ||
| Yeah, he lives up there with Angelina. | ||
| They're fucking crazy. | ||
| Oh, they're fucking right now. | ||
| They're crazy. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They steal each other's blood. | |
| They'll come out, though. | ||
| You come out, they'll come out. | ||
| Just wait for them. | ||
| They love their fans. | ||
| Like, how would you know? | ||
| It's like... | ||
| Yeah, how would you know? | ||
| They love their fans. | ||
| It's like there are certain types of people that would, you know, they're catering to. | ||
| The same people that would buy that fake weed that you see in, like, high times. | ||
| You know what I mean? | ||
| That was always the most disappointing shit ever about high times. | ||
| They would always, you know, be down for legalization. | ||
| Meanwhile, you're selling fake weed. | ||
| You're ripping people off, man. | ||
| Those are the sponsors. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Yeah, but so what? | ||
| Your sponsor's a crook. | ||
| You don't have a problem with your sponsor only preying on retards? | ||
| I mean, that's what the sponsor did. | ||
| If you bought that stuff, you had to be like a 10-year-old boy or a retarded person. | ||
| There has to be something wrong with you. | ||
| Dude said that that's how high times... | ||
| I refuse to believe that in a nation of 300 million, and who knows how many pot smokers, is there 30 million of us? | ||
| Let's say 30 million pot smokers in this country. | ||
| I refuse to believe that you couldn't produce a quality magazine that was interesting. | ||
| And it had to do with people who smoke pot, who engage in different activities and show how much marijuana enhances their life. | ||
| Instead of the same old stupid shit that they have in those magazines every week. | ||
| Every week there's a girl in a bikini and she's got a butt in her hand. | ||
| Whoa, look at the butt. | ||
| It's crazy. | ||
| And look at the picture in the middle. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| Look at the picture of the butt. | ||
| You're not saying anything different. | ||
| It's all the same goddamn shit. | ||
| Well, the magazine industry is so dead now. | ||
| But that's the reason why they have to sell this fucking fake weed shit. | ||
| That fake weed shit is insulting. | ||
| You're allowing someone to steal from your fans. | ||
| You're allowing someone. | ||
| That's like if I had this thing and if the Fleshlight wasn't our sponsor and I decided to get some other big dick pills. | ||
| You know, a big dick. | ||
| What a hypocrite. | ||
| What a creepy person I would be if I was allowing these people to get ripped off by something. | ||
| You know, allowing, I was promoting something. | ||
| That's what they're doing, man. | ||
| They've got pages of this shit. | ||
| These fake fucking buds. | ||
| Have you ever tried that bud, though? | ||
| B-U-D-Z. No, I haven't tried it. | ||
| I've heard it actually works. | ||
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| That shit doesn't work. | ||
| I actually heard it works. | ||
| No, the stuff that K2 stuff that they made illegal, that stuff works. | ||
| But that shit they've been selling in high times, that's the shit they smoke in movies, man. | ||
| That's the shit that Mitch Hedberg smoked with Peter Frampton. | ||
| Remember that joke? | ||
| Mm-mm. | ||
| You remember that joke Mitch Hedberg did? | ||
| He goes... | ||
| How does Mitch Hedberg do it? | ||
| He goes... | ||
| I once smoked fake pot in a movie with Peter Frampton. | ||
| He goes, that's way better than smoking a real pot with a dude who looks like Peter Frampton. | ||
| I've done that way more times. | ||
| That's hilarious. | ||
| Fucking Mitch. | ||
| He was awesome, man. | ||
| He was amazing. | ||
| That's a guy that, man, when he died, I went, shit. | ||
| That really was like, God damn it, we lost a good one. | ||
| Do you know what's so fucking weird about you saying that whole entire story? | ||
| What? | ||
| Because the person that told me last that that shit worked was his ex. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, Lynn? | |
| Lynn. | ||
| Well, maybe she was talking about that K2 stuff. | ||
| That stuff's legit. | ||
| But how weird is that? | ||
| That's what she was talking about. | ||
| That's how weird is that? | ||
| Just recently? | ||
| Yeah, it was like a month ago. | ||
| Guarantee you she's talking about the synthetic marijuana, which does work. | ||
| That stuff, they're making it illegal everywhere because it does work. | ||
| They've just modified it somehow or another so that it's not technically the same thing as marijuana. | ||
| It just becomes, you know, they can do that. | ||
| That's what they also did with those bath salts things. | ||
| Remember, we thought it was bath salts. | ||
| What it really was is they were selling it so they could sell it. | ||
| But it really was just amphetamines. | ||
| They can change the chemical components of something and make it something that's not classified. | ||
| Like, oh, well, here's this new thing. | ||
| What is this? | ||
| This isn't even illegal. | ||
| And so that's why they have also some laws in certain places where things become illegal if they're related to other things being illegal. | ||
| So that's why 5-MeO DMT was never classified as a Schedule I, but it's the most potent form of DMT. | ||
| And you used to be able to buy it online, man. | ||
| You used to be able to go to American Chemical Company, all these different places, and just buy DMT online. | ||
| But then, because it's related to NNDMT, which is illegal, they made it illegal, and they stopped people from selling it online. | ||
| And they made them very aware that there were consequences, even though it's not technically an illegal substance. | ||
| So what would happen if you got arrested in four years? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It's tricky. | ||
| You'd be able to fight it probably. | ||
| See, the real thing with all these Schedule 1 substances is the last thing they want is scrutiny. | ||
| They want anybody looking at them. | ||
| They don't want to make a new one illegal because then people start looking at what makes it illegal and what is legal. | ||
| And then the argument comes up, well, how can that be illegal when this is legal and that's illegal? | ||
| And this is sold at every pharmaceutical company all across the country. | ||
| It's been shown to be incredibly addictive. | ||
| This destroys your liver, but doctors prescribe it like candy. | ||
| It would open up the doors of scrutiny. | ||
| So what they would rather do is threaten people, close all these companies down that are selling all this shit and not change any of the laws. | ||
| Just go, hey, shut the fuck up. | ||
| Sit the fuck down. | ||
| This is the government here. | ||
| And that's what they do. | ||
| Because they don't want everybody looking at it. | ||
| Because if you look at it, at a certain point in time, when you're a grown man, I am a... | ||
| 43-year-old grown man, okay? | ||
| And if another grown man my age, or God forbid, even younger, is telling me what I can and can't do with my body that doesn't hurt anybody, and they don't even have research to back it up, it's not like, I saw that movie Limitless the other day. | ||
| Pretty fucking interesting movie. | ||
| Is that the one where he opens up his mind? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| It's a Bradley Cooper movie. | ||
| Pretty interesting. | ||
| I didn't enjoy the end. | ||
| Spoiler alert. | ||
| Plug your ears. | ||
|
unidentified
|
The end was whack. | |
| The end was like, oh, he's awesome all the time now. | ||
| Sorry, the end. | ||
| I win, you lose. | ||
| That was so stupid. | ||
| What about Sucker Punch? | ||
| But hold on a second. | ||
| The thing about that is that there were massive consequences. | ||
| He would lose time. | ||
| People were dying from it. | ||
| It wasn't just as simple as you take this thing, it accelerates you, and then you just live like an awesome person for the rest of your life. | ||
| There's consequences. | ||
| Now, if you can't prove consequences, then you have zero argument. | ||
| And that's the real argument, the real problem with psychedelic drugs being illegal. | ||
| You have all these people saying that they've helped them. | ||
| All these people that are going and taking that Ibogaine, like Ed Clay, our friend Ed Clay, who changed his life, changed who he is, you know, and became this really fucking warm, open person after going on these Ibogaine retreats. | ||
| And that's illegal. | ||
| Why is it illegal? | ||
| There's no study showing it harms you. | ||
| There's only studies showing that people have benefited from it. | ||
| And so many people talk about it glowingly, and yet you have other grown adults telling you what you can and can't experience. | ||
| Then they're the same age as you. | ||
| That's ridiculous. | ||
| That's nonsense. | ||
| There's a lack of reality and a lack of openness when it comes to discussing these things. | ||
| These things are never discussed in politics. | ||
| These are huge issues. | ||
| The issues of being able to control your consciousness is a giant issue. | ||
| And the fact that that's not discussed ever during presidential campaigns shows how infantile we are. | ||
| At the very least, occasionally it gets breached. | ||
| Mr. Obama, did you ever smoke marijuana? | ||
| And if so, did you inhale? | ||
| Yes, I did. | ||
| I thought that was the point. | ||
| That's it. | ||
| That's the in-depth version of the discussion on marijuana. | ||
| Obama admits to smoking marijuana and inhaling, says that was the point. | ||
| Amazing. | ||
| And everybody, it's like we're little children. | ||
| It's like as a nation, in our entirety, we have the attitude about drugs, about marijuana, about psychedelics, that an 11-year-old has. | ||
| That's how we treat it. | ||
| Like, what are you doing with that? | ||
| What are you doing with that? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Batman. | |
| We're little fucking children. | ||
| It's one of the biggest issues, I think, as far as consciousness goes, that is in the world. | ||
| One of the number one issues. | ||
| The ability to control your consciousness. | ||
| The ability to seek personal evolution through psychedelic experience. | ||
| These are huge issues. | ||
| These are issues that radically transformed you. | ||
| Radically transformed me. | ||
| Radically transformed you. | ||
| We've all been transformed by psychedelic experiences. | ||
| There's a guy named Kelly Mullis who won a Nobel Peace Prize or a... | ||
| I guess it is a Nobel Peace Prize for work in DNA discovery. | ||
| No, science. | ||
| Nobel science. | ||
| Yeah, he was the guy who found it on LSD, right? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| He did it while he was fucked up on LSD. Yeah, I don't remember what the finding was, but that guy actually is a bad example. | ||
| Something about DNA. Because he turned crazy when he got older. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, became like real belligerent, getting crazy arguments with people and became a nutcase. | ||
| Really? | ||
| Yeah, there's a lot of weird stuff about him. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Ha! | |
| Another interesting one is Francis Crick. | ||
| Francis Crick, apparently, and this is all hearsay because the article says very explicitly that Francis Crick told this man that if he printed a word of this, he would sue. | ||
| And he printed it, obviously, after Crick died. | ||
| But Crick, the guy who... | ||
| He said that he came up with the idea of the double helix for DNA while he was on acid. | ||
| But again, this is a guy who says that Crick said that. | ||
| The problem is, with anything like that, is that people are full of shit. | ||
| Why would they lie? | ||
| I don't know, but they could have. | ||
| And they do a lot. | ||
| You know, people fucking lie like crazy, man. | ||
| We were talking about that Game Show in My Head episode that I did. | ||
| I told you about this shit. | ||
| When we had people talk about UFOs on video, we had a... | ||
| Pretend news camera. | ||
| Did I tell you about this stunt? | ||
| This is what we did. | ||
| The game show in my head was a fun-ass show. | ||
| And what was interesting about it was there was a contestant and I had a microphone and I would talk in their ear with a little earpiece. | ||
| And I would tell them, here's your stunt. | ||
| This is what you got to do. | ||
| They didn't know what was going to happen. | ||
| We didn't know where they were. | ||
| We had them in a van, and then we would open the door and say, walk to that mark on the floor, and then Joe will be talking to you in your ear. | ||
| So they would walk to that mark. | ||
| I go, alright, dude, you ready to do this? | ||
| He goes, yeah, here's what we got. | ||
| You are a news reporter, okay? | ||
| There was just a UFO sighting right here in Hollywood. | ||
| It was huge. | ||
| A giant flying saucer was here, and it took off. | ||
| Now, you lost your witness. | ||
| The witness was gonna go on camera and he was gonna tell everybody about this UFO experience and now you're gonna look really stupid because you've got the camera here and there's no witness. | ||
| So you're gonna try to ask one of these people to pretend it was them. | ||
| That was their stunt. | ||
| And every person they got to do it, you know, I think if they got three people to do it, they won $5,000. | ||
| That's awesome. | ||
| Dude, people did it instantly. | ||
| They did it instantly. | ||
| They started, he goes, hey, I wonder if you could do me a favor. | ||
| There was a UFO here earlier, apparently. | ||
| Some people saw it and there was witnesses, but I guess they chickened out with the cameras here. | ||
| I'm like, I don't know what to do. | ||
| I mean, do you think you could pretend it was you? | ||
| Yeah, man. | ||
| Yeah, but you could be on a TV right now. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. | ||
| And people would just start talking. | ||
| What happened? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh man, there was a bright light and then the UFO came and they just started talking. | |
| It was incredible. | ||
| We were all sitting in the truck while it was happening. | ||
| We were shaking our heads going, wow, how full of shit are people? | ||
| People would just start talking about shit. | ||
| So that was my point. | ||
| I mean, it's like, I don't know if Francis Crick's story about DNA was true. | ||
| Yeah, it was a lot of fun, man. | ||
| You were talking earlier about Ed Clay and the way it changed his life. | ||
| Ed Clay was a very successful entrepreneur who got... | ||
| You're a smart guy. | ||
| Great guy. | ||
| Very driven. | ||
| You know, he did jujitsu. | ||
| He has an MMA academy. | ||
| He was always hurt. | ||
| So like a lot of MMA athletes, he got addicted to pills. | ||
| It was really bad. | ||
| It really was fucking up his life in a big way. | ||
| He heard about ibogaine, and ibogaine is like the African version of DMT, in a nutshell. | ||
| And what ibogaine does, ayahuasca apparently cures alcoholism. | ||
| And Ibogaine cures, in a high percentage rate, Ibogaine cures addiction of certain pills. | ||
| And Ed Clay heard about it. | ||
| It's illegal in the United States. | ||
| He went to Mexico. | ||
| There's this Ibogaine retreat in Mexico, in this city. | ||
| That they're all trippers, and they've all done ibogaine, they've done ayahuasca, all of them. | ||
| And it's just like a city where there's music. | ||
| Oh, he said there was music 24 hours. | ||
| You land in Mexico City, you drive four hours, you're in this village, and everyone's playing music. | ||
| There's artists everywhere, there's music constantly. | ||
| It goes 24-7, you hear people singing and dancing, and there's music. | ||
| And he went to this place, he did the ibogaine treatment, which takes you on a trip. | ||
| It's like ayahuasca that lasts like two days or something like that. | ||
| It lasts for a long time. | ||
| You get to see yourself and you get to see the world for what it is. | ||
| And what it does is somehow it does something to your brain receptors or something. | ||
| It's a realization of who you really are and it resets your receptors in some weird way. | ||
| I don't know the details, but it changed his life. | ||
| He came back to the States. | ||
| So it said his receptors as far as addictions? | ||
| Yes, yes. | ||
| So it's not just psychological healing, it's actually physical healing? | ||
| Yes, exactly. | ||
| Wow, that's incredible. | ||
| How many people does that work on? | ||
| He's dedicated, it's a high percent, it's like 80%. | ||
| He dedicated his life to Ibogaine and all the money that he's had from other businesses. | ||
| He sold one of his businesses, a big MMA company. | ||
| He sold it. | ||
| And he's dedicating his whole life to saving as many people from addiction to pills as possible. | ||
| Yeah, it's amazing that we have this issue in this country where that thing, which is so helpful, is illegal. | ||
| And these things that are so damaging and so scary are legal. | ||
| And they lied about how addictive they are when they got them through. | ||
| When they made fucking OxyContin's legal, there's a bunch of documents that show that they weren't being honest about the possibility of addiction. | ||
| That stuff's heroin, man. | ||
| That stuff gets so many... | ||
| My friend... | ||
| I don't want to say his name because I don't want to be public about it, but someone I know very recently died of it. | ||
| He had a pill problem. | ||
| It's scary shit, man. | ||
| I've known people that immediately became pill zombies. | ||
| I've known two people very well that became pill zombies while I knew them. | ||
| It's some scary shit, man. | ||
| It's scary that the government doesn't stop that. | ||
| If you're out there and you have a pill problem or you know somebody that has a pill problem, look into Ibogaine. | ||
| I-B-O-G-A-I-N-E, I think. | ||
| Ibogaine. | ||
| Ed Clay, if you look him up, he's doing everything he can to help as many people as possible. | ||
| You know what's really funny? | ||
| Ibogaine was the drug that got Hunter S. Thompson. | ||
| And in trouble when he was a journalist, when he was covering the... | ||
| Hunter S. Thompson was such a fucking genius writer and such an interesting guy. | ||
| And what he did was he was covering the elections, like 1970-something, whatever the fuck it was, and he just decided to start making shit up. | ||
| So he started making shit up about these candidates. | ||
| And one of the things that he said was that Ed Muskie brought in a Brazilian doctor because he's addicted to Ibogaine. | ||
| And he shows all the symptoms of Ibogaine addiction. | ||
| And he put this shit printed in the Rolling Stone. | ||
| So everybody thought this was real. | ||
| So they started asking him about it. | ||
| And the guy slowly started breaking down. | ||
| The guy started going crazy publicly. | ||
| The pressure got to him. | ||
| And he would give these public speeches and everybody would be accusing him of being on some crazy drug. | ||
| And so Hunter S. Thompson, like, literally drove this guy insane by writing that he was on drugs. | ||
| Huh. | ||
| There's a video of the guy, like, in the movie Gonzo. | ||
| You see this video of the guy, like, breaking down at a campaign speech? | ||
| Just loses his mind. | ||
| It was Ibogaine. | ||
| That's what Thompson had said that he was addicted to. | ||
| And then another guy was addicted to, so he made up a name of Speed called Wallet, some exotic brand of Speed. | ||
| Imagine that. | ||
| You're fucking running for president back in the 70s and that shit happens. | ||
| You know, you get this crazy asshole just making shit up about you and there was no internet. | ||
| There was no nothing. | ||
| You couldn't go on TV and talk about it. | ||
| And it was really funny, man. | ||
| It was fucking interesting shit. | ||
| He goes, well, I didn't lie. | ||
| He goes, there was a rumor going around Milwaukee that he was addicted to Ibogaine. | ||
| And I was the one who started the rumor. | ||
| He's like, all I said was there was a rumor. | ||
| He goes, I was actually pretty factual in how I described it. | ||
| It's pretty funny, man. | ||
| Did you see Sucker Punch at all? | ||
| Not yet. | ||
| I heard it's awesome, though. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No. | |
| It looks pretty badass. | ||
| Did you see it? | ||
| No, I haven't seen it, but I only saw, I guess, the teaser preview in the past. | ||
| I just saw the real preview. | ||
| Holy shit. | ||
| I never saw the whole preview. | ||
| If you go to see that movie and you're not stoned, you should go to jail. | ||
| Why is that movie not in 3D, though? | ||
| It's not? | ||
| That's why I'm pissed. | ||
| It's not? | ||
| I don't think it's in 3D. Really? | ||
| Yeah, it's in IMAX, but it's not in IMAX 3D. You know what, man? | ||
| I gotta be honest. | ||
| The movie has to be super special for me to be into it in 3D. I'm annoyed wearing those stupid glasses. | ||
| Those things bug me. | ||
| They don't bother me. | ||
| Really? | ||
| I like the visuals. | ||
| I like the glasses. | ||
| The glasses bug the shit out of me. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| But, you know, I shouldn't say that because it doesn't bug me in every movie. | ||
| Because in Avatar, it was so spectacular that it didn't bug me. | ||
| I saw Battle L.A. and that was the biggest piece of shit. | ||
| How was that movie? | ||
| Oh my god. | ||
| It looked like to me, it was, you know, from the point of view of a bunch of Marines fighting, getting called to fight these aliens that landed in L.A. and they're fighting them through L.A. It looks like a video game... | ||
| Like infomercial. | ||
| It looked like a trick. | ||
| It's like the plot was so bad. | ||
| Gears of War 4. It was so bad. | ||
| Gears of War would have a way better plot. | ||
| Oh, man. | ||
| The way they won and they beat the aliens. | ||
| Oh, don't even tell me. | ||
| I don't even want to know. | ||
| So bad. | ||
| It's just what we were talking about earlier with the MMA movie, Fast and Furious. | ||
| It's the same thing. | ||
| There's a bunch of people making dumbass movies. | ||
| But here's the reason why, man. | ||
| This is what you don't realize, or I don't realize sometimes either. | ||
| I like to go on MMA.tv or MixedMartialArts.com. | ||
| I like to go on there because it's a fun place to talk about jiu-jitsu and fighting and talk about MMA and UFC shit. | ||
| But it's also fun to see how fucking dumb some of those people are. | ||
| One guy put a big post about movies. | ||
| When The Expendables came out, they were going off. | ||
| Dudes were going off talking about how What website again? | ||
| Mixmartialarts.com. | ||
| Oh, okay, okay. | ||
| They were going off about how great the Expendables were. | ||
| I thought, this has to be ironic. | ||
| Like, this has to be irony. | ||
| Like, they couldn't have actually enjoyed this. | ||
| Look, I like a good fucking blow-em-up movie more than anybody, but that was one of the worst movies of all time. | ||
| It was unbelievably bad. | ||
| And as I'm watching, I'm like, holy fuck is this bad. | ||
| But then I go online, and you read people talking about it, and they're like, It's a fucking amazing movie. | ||
| I'm going to see it again this weekend with my cousin. | ||
| And I'm like, are they 15? | ||
| Yes, they are. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Is that what it is? | |
| Yes. | ||
| You've got to remember about age groups. | ||
| I keep on forgetting about this, but half these people on Twitter that have the bad language skills and stuff like that, they're probably 12. Because if I was 12, I'd be talking shit nonstop all day long. | ||
| Yeah, very likely. | ||
| But anyway, what was my point? | ||
| About the guy on the message board... | ||
| Battle L.A.? Oh, exactly. | ||
| And they were talking just about Battle L.A. the other day, about how fucking awesome it was. | ||
| Five stars, amazing movie. | ||
| And then four or five dudes would say that. | ||
| And I'd be like squeezing my head together. | ||
| And I'd go, really? | ||
| And then one guy would come on and go, you guys are all retarded. | ||
| That movie sucked a million cocks. | ||
| You listen to him. | ||
| Yeah, and I'd go, that guy. | ||
| But that's also probably the guy that talks shit about your music and about my comedy. | ||
| You know, the guys who are negative, man, they're not always right. | ||
| They're negative all the time. | ||
| But when it comes to movies, man, it's very difficult to find, like, a good group that you agree with. | ||
| They were the dumbest aliens ever. | ||
| Once they got on the ground and they got, like, these tall-ass robot aliens like Terminator, they were, like, dumb. | ||
| You went across the fucking galaxy, and these guys are hiding behind a bus 20 yards away from you. | ||
| And there's a scene that lasts five minutes, and they're behind the bus. | ||
| And all around them, these aliens are fucking everybody up with these soldiers. | ||
| I'm like, this little girl and the fucking cat. | ||
| And they're like, I'm like, how long is this scene? | ||
| The aliens are still trying to walk. | ||
| They were totally retarded. | ||
| You know what looks really bad is that new Arthur remake. | ||
| Have you seen that preview of that? | ||
| It's just like the exact... | ||
| One, why would you remake that? | ||
| And two, it's just like they're just adding like, oh, an Xbox Live instead of... | ||
| Dude, he's funny though. | ||
| I like him, man. | ||
| I like him. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| Did you like getting into the Greek? | ||
| I did like that movie. | ||
| Dude, he's good. | ||
| I did like that movie. | ||
| There's a movie called The Man From Earth. | ||
| It's the same character. | ||
| This is one of the dumbest movies that people have been recommending to me lately. | ||
| There's a movie called The Man From Earth about a guy who was a fucking caveman who survived until today, and he was Jesus. | ||
| And it's like a play. | ||
| Like, they're over this guy's house. | ||
| He's leaving. | ||
| He has to leave because he doesn't age. | ||
| And he doesn't want them all to get suspicious. | ||
| So every ten years, he has to up and leave. | ||
| It is so bad. | ||
| It's so stupid. | ||
| And the acting is so dumb. | ||
| But yet, all these fucking people are like, Dude, you gotta watch this. | ||
| It's amazing. | ||
| So fascinating. | ||
| So intriguing. | ||
| You know? | ||
| Mike, how could you be intrigued by this dumbass movie about a caveman who was Jesus who's still alive today? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Oh, that's why he came back from the dead? | ||
| Because he's like super, he can't die? | ||
| He's like supernatural? | ||
| Battle X had me for like 35 minutes. | ||
| The beginning of Battle LA was good. | ||
| I was like, fuck, man, okay, they're doing a good job. | ||
| 20 minutes into it, I'm like, okay, they haven't shown the aliens yet? | ||
| Once they started fighting with the aliens, they couldn't figure that one out, like to make it realistic. | ||
| You really think there'd be a battle? | ||
| There's like these marines that survived, and they're finally pulling them out of the city, LA, because they're going to nuke it? | ||
| They're going to nuke it. | ||
| We got out in time. | ||
| They're going to nuke it. | ||
| They go, drop us off. | ||
| One dude drops off. | ||
| He goes, I'm going back. | ||
| Oh, no. | ||
| And then Michelle Rodriguez comes down. | ||
| She goes, I'm going to go with you. | ||
| She wants some dick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They're dropping him off back into L.A. And they win four of them. | |
| Four of them. | ||
| I don't want to hear about this. | ||
| I don't want to hear about this. | ||
| You know what sucks, though, is that Battle L.A. on Rotten Tomatoes got like a 34%. | ||
| Rotten Tomatoes is pretty accurate. | ||
| Sucker Punch, 21%. | ||
| Oh, okay. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| I'm not going then. | ||
| I'll trust them. | ||
| That's the beautiful thing about the internet, man. | ||
| Back then, they used to have to listen to Roger Ebert. | ||
| Roger Ebert didn't like Gladiator. | ||
| He didn't like The Unforget... | ||
| There's a bunch of movies that he didn't like that were fucking awesome. | ||
| Gladiator! | ||
| How the fuck do you not like Gladiator? | ||
| Yeah, I would like to see his top 10 dislikes that ended up getting Oscars or something. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He got in a little hissy fit with fucking Charlie Sheen online on Twitter. | ||
| It was interesting. | ||
| Recently? | ||
| Yeah, we were talking about it in one of the post-fight video blogs or the post-podcast video blogs. | ||
| It was like he wrote something about Charlie Sheen. | ||
| I could do what he's doing, but then my wife would leave me and then I would be lonely and depressed just like him. | ||
| And Charlie writes back to Roger, have you ever had five girls at the same time? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Something along those lines, that ain't lonely, stupid. | |
| And I'm like, I can't believe Roger Ebert is going after Charlie Sheen. | ||
| Roger Ebert's almost dead. | ||
| He lost his jaw to cancer. | ||
| He can't talk. | ||
| He can't eat. | ||
| He has to eat through a tube. | ||
| And yet he's shitting on Charlie Sheen for getting hookers and whores? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Valley of the Dolls. | ||
| What is that? | ||
| That's a movie that he wrote. | ||
| And it's all about dolls. | ||
| Like porn chicks, isn't it? | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Who wrote it? | ||
| Roger Ebert. | ||
| Maybe he lives this whole different life we don't know and he's just some crazy old purr. | ||
| Yeah, he said it sucked. | ||
| I saw the Due Date movie. | ||
| Have you seen that yet? | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's alright. | |
| I like to see Brody Stevens at the beginning of it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll watch Zach Galfgenakis in anything, man. | |
| Galfgenakis. | ||
| I'll watch that guy in anything. | ||
| I know, me too. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's talented. | |
| He's so talented, they don't even make him shave the beard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Every movie, eh. | ||
| No, that's his look, man. | ||
| I know, they don't ask him. | ||
| It helps, though. | ||
| Because he's so good. | ||
| He's so good. | ||
| If he was a regular dude, they'd go, we're going to need you to shave it for this character. | ||
| It makes him look like he's that strange guy. | ||
| That helps a lot. | ||
| Did you hear about Brody Stevens also? | ||
| HBO's picked him up for a new TV show. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| Zach Galifianakis is going to pretty much make a show about Brody, like a documentary type thing. | ||
| Oh, that's brilliant. | ||
| That's amazing. | ||
| Yeah, that's brilliant. | ||
| Fucking Brody Stevens blowing the fuck up. | ||
| Good for him. | ||
| Well, Brody has always just needed someone to sort of direct people to what he does. | ||
| He's amazing. | ||
| He's one of the funniest guys I know. | ||
| He's so interesting, man. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes! | |
| He's such a fucking unusual dude. | ||
| He could talk about anything! | ||
| Okay? | ||
| And for whatever reason, he's fascinating, you know? | ||
| Will Ferrell just got the role of The Office, too. | ||
| I think that's only for like three episodes. | ||
| Oh, is it? | ||
| Yeah, I'm pretty sure. | ||
| That guy's too fucking busy, bro. | ||
| I was gonna say, that's awesome if he's doing that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I mean, stupid. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What? | |
| Why'd you even bring that up? | ||
| Will Ferrell, The Office. | ||
| Because that's pretty crazy. | ||
| That's big. | ||
| That's huge. | ||
| Is it? | ||
| Will Ferrell. | ||
| I don't watch those sitcoms, man. | ||
| I fucking love Will Ferrell, man. | ||
| I never watch sitcoms. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What sitcoms? | |
| I get around The Office. | ||
| I get around to South Park every now and then if I'm going to watch something that's funny. | ||
| You spend too much time watching Oprah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
It helps me, bro. | |
| It helps me. | ||
| It helps me understand those people. | ||
| That's why I listen to conservative talk radio, too. | ||
| I mean, I listen to conservative talk radio because I don't know anybody like that. | ||
| I want to know how those fucking people think. | ||
| And when I have those, you know what the libs don't know, okay? | ||
| I'll tell you right now. | ||
| Here's what the libs don't know. | ||
| Obama doesn't like you either, okay? | ||
| Obama's one of those elitists. | ||
| And I like listening to that shit because this fucking guy believes this. | ||
| He's selling this. | ||
| I was listening to Glenn Beck this morning. | ||
| I stopped in my driveway for five minutes just sitting there shaking my head listening to Glenn Beck this morning. | ||
| Just like this crazy asshole that thinks that the reason why the fucking tsunami and earthquake happened is because we're not following the Ten Commandments. | ||
| That crazy asshole actually suggested that. | ||
| You know, so I listen to everybody. | ||
| So Oprah's on the list too, man. | ||
| I gotta listen. | ||
| I gotta find out what she's up to. | ||
| What the fuck is wrong with you? | ||
| You got too high. | ||
| No, I just don't even... | ||
| That seems like a bunch of serious stuff to watch. | ||
| I guess I don't... | ||
| I mean, if I'm going to watch anything serious, it's going to be like fucking cops or murder stuff so I can at least learn a skill trade if I'm going to murder somebody, how I can get away with it. | ||
| Intervention is always the best. | ||
| If you're ever feeling down about yourself, intervention. | ||
| You ever want to know that you're going to be okay? | ||
| Watch Intervention. | ||
| What's Celebrity Rehab? | ||
| No, Intervention. | ||
| One of those things where people are falling apart and then people have to go and rescue them. | ||
| People are doing crack and heroin and craziness. | ||
| That's the best part of Celebrity Rehab. | ||
| That's my favorite show. | ||
| My favorite part of Celebrity Rehab is fucking... | ||
| What's his name? | ||
| Eric Roberts. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's the best. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He's the best. | |
| Yeah, that guy was on Celebrity Rehab. | ||
| For weed. | ||
| It was hilarious. | ||
| He never had a problem. | ||
| People were falling apart all around him. | ||
| He's in the back, reading it, like on the side, reading a newspaper with his glasses, eating a sandwich. | ||
| He never had a story. | ||
| I mean, he did have a rough childhood. | ||
| That's the problem with that show. | ||
| And he cried once. | ||
| He cried once. | ||
| But Dr. Drew talks so much shit on weed that when Eric Roberts came to him, he's a celebrity. | ||
| He needs a celebrity, man. | ||
| Not very many celebrities will go on that show and go, we got Eric Roberts. | ||
| He goes, what's he here for? | ||
| For weed. | ||
| What are you going to tell him? | ||
| I mean, Dr. Drew tells everybody that weed's bad for you, so he's got to admit him. | ||
| When really he has no problem. | ||
| That was the craziest part of the show. | ||
| Well, he has problems. | ||
| He definitely needed counseling. | ||
| Yeah, it didn't... | ||
| Well, he was using weed as an escape from his life, and it just happened to be weed. | ||
| It could have been cough syrup. | ||
| He could have found some other shit to escape from his life. | ||
| Yeah, I guess. | ||
| But I think it was just... | ||
| I think it was a way to blow up Eric Roberts and he doesn't look bad. | ||
| What an easy way to rejuvenate the career. | ||
| Celebrity rehab is fucking huge. | ||
| You know what? | ||
| He didn't look bad at all. | ||
| In the very first day when I analyzed him, he said, Doc, I smoke from a vaporizer. | ||
| They show him it's healthier. | ||
| He's talking about a vaporizer, how it's healthier. | ||
| And he doesn't smoke that much at all. | ||
| And he said, when I smoke, everybody loves me. | ||
| I'm in a great mood. | ||
| You know, I flow. | ||
| But when I don't smoke, I get, you know, in a cranky mood and I'm pissed off. | ||
| That's what he said. | ||
| The problem was when Dr. Drew goes, hmm, we got to work on that. | ||
| He showed him that he's smoking out of a vaporizer. | ||
| So I think that Eric Roberts would go, this is a perfect way. | ||
| Well, no, for Dr. Drew, man, there's no solution other than sobriety. | ||
| You know, I retweeted something. | ||
| I think, I forget, someone tweeted something about pot, and I retweeted it going, suck on that, Dr. Drew, you know, like to him, thinking that I've been friends with that guy for years. | ||
| When are we going to get him on the pot? | ||
| Oh, he got mad at you? | ||
| Yes, he got mad at me. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| I've been friends with him for years. | ||
| And he's like, hey, Joe, I'm sorry, I'm killing your high. | ||
| What the hell, man? | ||
| Whoa! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Whoa! | |
| Yeah, you know, attacking me or something like that. | ||
| And I go, whoa, dude, this is just a joke. | ||
| I thought you knew my sense of humor. | ||
| You know I love you. | ||
| And he writes back, I love you too. | ||
| So it was cool. | ||
| I mean, it all wind up cool. | ||
| But he thought that I was like, really, like, fuck you, Dr. Drew, suck it. | ||
| Some guys, you can't joke around like that. | ||
| You can't, like, you could text me something and say, suck on that bitch. | ||
| And I would be like, ah! | ||
| I would laugh. | ||
| You could do it too. | ||
| But with Dr. Drew, apparently you can't text Dr. Drew and say, suck on it, bitch. | ||
| You texted him or emailed him? | ||
| Twittered it. | ||
| Do you think you would ever do the show? | ||
| Oh, shit on Twitter. | ||
| Yeah, I Twittered it. | ||
| So then everyone saw. | ||
| Yeah, but come on, man. | ||
| It's funny. | ||
| The fuck? | ||
| Do you think you would ever do the show? | ||
| No, but I'm going to do Loveline. | ||
| I'm going to do Loveline. | ||
| Maybe he was kidding. | ||
| Maybe he was kidding. | ||
| Mad Mike is on Dancing with the Stars right now. | ||
| What exactly did he say again? | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| He wasn't kidding. | ||
| He got a little upset. | ||
| He thought I was actually upset. | ||
| When I was saying suck on that, he was like, I'm sorry, I'm killing your high. | ||
| What the hell, man? | ||
| It seemed like he was hurt. | ||
| Like, his feelings were hurt. | ||
| Like, I attacked him. | ||
| This is the only discussion that he and I have ever disagreed on. | ||
| I think that he's absolutely right about how much abuse goes on, and he can nail it when he's talking to people about what's wrong with them. | ||
| What I think is he discounts that there are very healthy people that can benefit from marijuana, and that's the difference. | ||
| People that aren't sick, that don't have addiction problems, that don't have substance problems, They can benefit greatly from marijuana. | ||
| And the problem is he's dealing with a completely tainted pool. | ||
| Everyone that he's dealing with is fucked up. | ||
| He has very few people that he's dealing with that aren't. | ||
| He's an addiction specialist. | ||
| By the time they get to him, their life is in the goddamn toilet. | ||
| They're fucking falling apart. | ||
| He's not necessarily sitting down with people that can say, hey, Dr. Drew. | ||
| Listen, man, marijuana has made me a better person. | ||
| I'm a different person because of it. | ||
| Okay, so what do you think it is? | ||
| You could be a different person anyway. | ||
| It's either one of two things. | ||
| Either he actually doesn't know that weed is good for you, or he knows, but because he's a doctor, he doesn't want to hurt his reputation. | ||
| No, look, he'll tell you it's better for you than alcohol, for sure. | ||
| I mean, medically. | ||
| But does he know the truth about it? | ||
| Medically, he's very honest about it. | ||
| He doesn't know the truth about it. | ||
| No, he believes that it's bad for you. | ||
| He believes that it's addictive, whether it's physically addictive or psychologically addictive. | ||
| It's amazing that he doesn't know. | ||
| You know, when people say marijuana is not addictive, everything you fucking do can be addictive if your mind is broken. | ||
| If your mind gets wacky, you know, I've seen people, you know anybody that's a gambling addict? | ||
| You ever met people like that? | ||
| I know a few people personally. | ||
| Yeah, it's a nutty thing, right? | ||
| They can't help it, man. | ||
| Whatever it is, you can call it psychological addiction, whatever it is, they are connected to gambling. | ||
| They can't stop gambling. | ||
| They do it all the time. | ||
| I know a bunch of people from the pool world, from my days of playing pool. | ||
| I've met so many people that were gambling addicts. | ||
| That's an addiction too, man. | ||
| Marijuana can be addictive, absolutely. | ||
| Anything can be addictive if your mind is broken. | ||
| But that doesn't mean that people like us, whose brains aren't broken, shouldn't be allowed to use it. | ||
| That's where it gets annoying. | ||
| To benefit you. | ||
| Yeah, to benefit you. | ||
| And when you tell him that it does, there should be some sort of a test. | ||
| And when you tell him that it does, that's the only thing that ever annoys me about Dr. Drew, is that he's not willing to sort of take that into consideration. | ||
| He's pretty rigid on his stance when it comes to psychedelic drugs and to drugs. | ||
| That's the only part that I can't stand. | ||
| He doesn't know the truth about marijuana. | ||
| I thought maybe he does know, but he's just trying to save his job and he can't talk about it because technically it's still illegal so I can't promote it. | ||
| I thought it was that and he did know the truth. | ||
| But either way, that would still be something that I wouldn't be happy with. | ||
| I'm like, do the research. | ||
| Get on the internet, Dr. Drew. | ||
| You're a doctor. | ||
| Come on. | ||
| Look into it. | ||
| You'll actually benefit from it. | ||
| You yourself. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| You will benefit from it. | ||
| Most certainly. | ||
| If Dr. Drew started smoking weed every now and then, your life would change in a better way, Dr. Drew. | ||
| And you don't even know it. | ||
| And you're a doctor and you're on TV, man. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| I've been listening to you from Loveline from back in 1989, back in the day. | ||
| I love Dr. Drew. | ||
| I love 90% of what you say, but the 10% about the... | ||
| You not knowing the truth about marijuana, that burns me inside. | ||
| Well, Todd McCormick schooled him on Loveline years ago when he was talking about it. | ||
| He's definitely not objective when it comes to that. | ||
| But hey, you know, whatever. | ||
| That's him. | ||
| It's the path he's on. | ||
| It's unfortunate. | ||
| I think all people can learn from psychedelic experiences. | ||
| If you're not fucked up, if there's not something wrong with you medically, if there's not something wrong with you psychologically where you really can't go on trips, even just trips of eating weed, that shit benefits you greatly. | ||
| In Brazil, where ayahuasca is legal, the people that are part of the ayahuasca churches, and they're just normal, loving people, they give ayahuasca to their kids when they turn 14 to make sure they don't become alcoholics. | ||
| Because ayahuasca at that age, right when they're hitting puberty, it sets their brain straight somehow. | ||
| And ayahuasca, if you know what it is, it's the key to the other side, to the spirit world. | ||
| It really is. | ||
| And when you see the spirit world at 14, somehow it keeps them from being alcoholics. | ||
| They do that in Brazil. | ||
| It straightens you out, man. | ||
| When you've had experiences like the DMT experience, which if people don't know, ayahuasca is the DMT experience. | ||
| Ayahuasca is an orally active version of DMT, and the reason it's orally active as opposed to the regular version is that DMT, when you eat it, It's broken down in your stomach by something called monoamine oxidase. | ||
| And monoamine oxidase is produced by your stomach and it kills it. | ||
| So when you eat it, nothing happens. | ||
| So what these people have figured out how to do, and there's hundreds of thousands of different plants in the Amazon. | ||
| They've figured out how to take the root of one tree and the leaves of another and they combine them. | ||
| And one of them has DMT and the other one has a natural... | ||
| MAO, monoamine oxidase inhibitor. | ||
| So it inhibits your stomach's production of monoamine oxidase and it allows the DMT to get into your bloodstream orally. | ||
| And it takes a long time. | ||
| It takes like five or six hours for the full trip. | ||
| And it's like a ride through to the other side. | ||
| It allows you, during that brief amount of time, to tune into the spirit world, which is all around us all the time. | ||
| It's a huge part of their culture, and it's been something that has been passed on from generation to generation. | ||
| It's a really incredible discovery because they figured out out all those plants. | ||
| They figured out how to take this, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, mix it together, boil it, strain it out, drink it, throw up. | ||
| It tastes like dog shit. | ||
| It tastes terrible. | ||
| It's a long-ass process to make this, but they figured out how to do this. | ||
| It's a really amazing discovery because they didn't figure out anything else. | ||
| They have dirt floors and shit. | ||
| They don't even have shoes. | ||
| They're out there making ayahuasca. | ||
| Connecting to the spirit world on a regular basis. | ||
| And you say, well, we're advanced. | ||
| Those poor people, they're not advanced. | ||
| They're way more advanced. | ||
| Yeah, they don't have supermarkets, but guess what? | ||
| They live in a place where food is everywhere. | ||
| And they go to the spirit world all the time. | ||
| They're completely connected to the afterlife. | ||
| If anybody realizes this is all just a bullshit good time and just try to enjoy it as much as you can, they do. | ||
| Those fucking people are knocking on the door every day. | ||
| They're going back and forth all the time. | ||
| They're not lost in the jungle. | ||
| They're completely aware of Western civilization and technology. | ||
| They know all about it. | ||
| Once you go to the other side, apparently, you realize all that matters is being harmonious with Mother Nature. | ||
| And once you see the spirit world and you see it so clearly, All the materialistic stuff in the world apparently seems to not be so important anymore. | ||
| Your priorities change up. | ||
| I didn't do ayahuasca. | ||
| I smoked DMT. That's the 10-minute version of an eight-hour trip. | ||
| It's very, very difficult to get the full DMT experience when you're Yeah. | ||
| and it becomes fucking huge. | ||
| - Yeah. | ||
| - He's like, that's what DMT's like. | ||
| It's like you're downloading something that's just gonna explode in your brain. | ||
| - Yeah. - And unhinge and give you the full effect in 10, 15 minutes as opposed to the ayahuasca trip. | ||
| - It changed my life. | ||
| I don't wanna get into the details. | ||
| - It changed mine too. | ||
| I mean, we've talked about it a bunch of times. | ||
| You and I have done it a bunch of times. | ||
| - To me, it confirmed. | ||
| I grew up very religious and then at 10, when I found out that Everybody wasn't Catholic. | ||
| I thought everybody was Catholic. | ||
| Everybody in my neighborhood was Catholic. | ||
| We had a couple of Protestants in the school. | ||
| I didn't know what that was. | ||
| I was a little confused. | ||
| And then we had a couple of Jehovah's Witness. | ||
| And I was like, hmm. | ||
| But mostly everybody was Catholic. | ||
| All the sitcoms that the kids watched back then coincided with Catholic holidays. | ||
| So we see Christmas specials and we see Easter. | ||
| So I just thought everybody was Catholic. | ||
| You know, I was an altar boy. | ||
| I'm like, I can't wait to get to heaven because my life sucks. | ||
| Once I found out that there was Jews out there and I found out, I'm like, what's a Jew? | ||
| Is that a person? | ||
| Oh no, it's a religion. | ||
| And there's other religions then? | ||
| I became atheist once I found out there's a thousand religions and I went, oh, it's just Muslim. | ||
| I'll be bullshit. | ||
| So then I became super atheistic, started writing songs about Satan. | ||
| I didn't believe in Satan, but I'm like, I don't believe in anything and I'm gonna scare all these Christians and I'm gonna write about Satan killing priests and stuff. | ||
| I wasn't atheist. | ||
| I mean, I didn't believe in God at all. | ||
| And then when I was 21, I had an experience that made me realize that there might be some stuff out there. | ||
| Should I tell the psychic story? | ||
| Tell whatever you want, man. | ||
| It's an interesting story. | ||
| I went from atheism to being an agnostic. | ||
| At 21, I just moved to Hollywood to be a rock star. | ||
| I'm walking up Sunset Boulevard, passing the Roxy. | ||
| And my buddy John was like 10, 15 yards ahead of me. | ||
| And in front of the Roxy, there's this hippie playing... | ||
| He's playing guitar and he has this sign about the Amazon rainforest getting chopped down and all this stuff. | ||
| And he's just a dirty hippie to me. | ||
| And I passed by and he's all tree-hugging. | ||
| And I looked at him and in my mind, I'm like, you know, take a shower. | ||
| But I didn't actually say that. | ||
| And as if he read my mind, he stopped playing, walked up to me, looked me in the face and said, if I guess your birthday, will you listen to me? | ||
| And I'm like, yeah, right. | ||
| And he looked at me in the eye and said, he said, May... | ||
| May 15th. | ||
| I'm like, holy shit. | ||
| I said, John, John, come here. | ||
| I waved my friend over, and as if that wasn't enough, he had to do it again for the confirmation. | ||
| I said, guess his birthday. | ||
| And John didn't know what the hell was going on. | ||
| He looked at John and said, March 31st. | ||
| Mate, mate, mate, mate. | ||
| It's the probabilities. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's look at probability. | ||
| Probability theatre. | ||
| Probability theatre. | ||
| Remember that conversation we had? | ||
| We had a conversation with a friend of ours. | ||
| He was telling this story and the guy goes, mate, it's probabilities. | ||
|
unidentified
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Probability theory, if you follow probability theory, there's a way to do that. | |
| You can figure out someone's birthday. | ||
| I go, what the fuck are you talking about, man? | ||
| You can't just guess one day and then another guy comes over, you guess that day too. | ||
| That's insane. | ||
| That's not probability theory. | ||
| Probability theory says it's very unlikely that you would be able to do that. | ||
| Yeah, so he started talking about the rainforest. | ||
| We just stood there with our jaws dropped. | ||
| I didn't listen to anything he said. | ||
| All I kept thinking about is how the hell did he do that? | ||
| It was amazing. | ||
| So I came to a conclusion. | ||
| It's got to be one of two things. | ||
| He could somehow read thoughts and if you think something, there's people that could see the thoughts somehow. | ||
| It's like a weird other sense. | ||
| Or there was some voice, whether it's an angel or a demon or a spirit or whatever, or the Akashic Records. | ||
| It's something telling him. | ||
| So to me, I became agnostic, which meant I'm like, okay, maybe I don't know what the fuck is going on. | ||
| And how old were you when this happened? | ||
| I was 21. So what do you think happened? | ||
| You think that dude was doing ayahuasca and he just tripped all the time and had some sort of a constant connection to the spirit world? | ||
| He's running around being selfless, only trying to help people and looking like a bum? | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Because if he's dedicating his life to saving the rainforest, he's super overactive when it comes to loving the planet. | ||
| He loves the planet so much that he's dedicating his whole life. | ||
| He's not taking showers. | ||
| He's on Sunset playing guitar. | ||
| He's dedicating his whole life. | ||
| That guy... | ||
| That guy, nobody loves the planet more than that dude. | ||
| You know, I was listening to a McKenna podcast, I forget, Psychedelic Cafe, I think is the name of the podcast, and it had a Terence McKenna speech where he was talking about how everybody's so concerned about the rainforest and everyone's so concerned about the environment and pollution and toxifications of the ocean, but of just one, just one of these things that has hit the earth so many times in the past, came here from outer space, you wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. | ||
| There'd be nothing left. | ||
| You know, he's talking about the meteor that hit the Yucatan and how that within the first second and a half, it was five miles deep into the earth. | ||
|
unidentified
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Wow. | |
| Fuck! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| The first second and a half, it was five miles deep. | ||
| And that's the, fuck the ozone layer. | ||
| Fuck the rainforest. | ||
| Fuck everything. | ||
| It's all done. | ||
| And those goddamn... | ||
| Every planet is littered with these giant craters. | ||
| They're all over Jupiter. | ||
| We've seen them hit in our lifetime. | ||
| There's an amateur astronomer very recently in Australia that caught a big impact in Jupiter. | ||
| We've seen it in We've seen them hit Jupiter before. | ||
| There was one big one, I believe, in 1994. Shoemaker-Levy, I think it was, a big comet that slammed in. | ||
| I mean, look, it's some scary-ass fucking shit, and there's so many of them out there. | ||
| There's so many of them. | ||
| That incident didn't make me become a tree hugger, but it did put me on a quest to find out. | ||
| I just instantly became fascinated at how he did that. | ||
| What do you think happened? | ||
| You had to think about that guy. | ||
| That's what I said. | ||
| To me, it was either he could read, thought, whatever. | ||
| Did you ask him? | ||
| No, I didn't ask him. | ||
|
unidentified
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Why didn't you ask him? | |
| Maybe I did and he said, don't worry about it. | ||
| Whoa, what a cocksucker. | ||
| Fucking holding back on the ability to read minds? | ||
| I just know. | ||
| I heard a voice or something. | ||
| So to me, he did it. | ||
| It didn't matter how he did it. | ||
| I wouldn't even let him talk anymore. | ||
| I'd be like, come on, bitch. | ||
| Spread that shit around. | ||
| I want to know numbers. | ||
| I just knew that... | ||
| There had to be something that we don't understand. | ||
| There has to be another dimension or something. | ||
| So I became obsessed with finding out what life really is. | ||
| I've just always been on that quest. | ||
| That's how I became a conspiracy theorist. | ||
| That's why I'm fascinated with ancient cultures and what they did. | ||
| I have stacks and stacks of DVDs, just like you. | ||
| Stacks of DVDs of conspiracy theories and Documentaries on ancient cultures and the government and how the government works and all this stuff. | ||
| That set me on the course right there to find out what's really going on. | ||
| Is there an afterlife? | ||
| I mean, that's important. | ||
| It became important to me to find out if there is. | ||
| Is there some kind of higher power? | ||
| That set it off. | ||
| So I became agnostic and through DMT and all the things that I've been through, To me, I feel I'm pretty certain there's an afterlife, that we don't just die and we're just done. | ||
| I believe that there is the Akashic Records, and the ancient Indians believed, from India, they believed, you know, they dubbed it the Akashic Records. | ||
| In the afterworld, there's a river of infinite information that you can have access to, the answers to everything, and through meditation and just... | ||
| Through controlling your own frequency, people have done it. | ||
| It's been done. | ||
| The most famous in the West was Edgar Cayce. | ||
| He had the knowledge to tap into this information and no one can figure it out. | ||
| He has like 13,000 or 14,000 documented readings. | ||
| He got huge. | ||
| The president came to him. | ||
| He was a guy with a third grade education. | ||
| But when he went under in his medium state, he had the answers to everything. | ||
| He was like this man in a different voice and would just have the answers to everything. | ||
| Have anybody debunked Edgar Cayce or read any of that shit? | ||
| You can't debunk him. | ||
| Really? | ||
| He smashes. | ||
| You just look into him. | ||
| He smashes. | ||
| He knew in 1920... | ||
| He knew the function of every gland, and no one knew if he was bullshitting because they didn't even know back then. | ||
| We're finding the shit he's saying, we're finding out the shit now, that he was right. | ||
| He would rattle off the pituitary gland and give you what vitamins you need to take, what's its function, going through all the glands, and people thought, he's crazy. | ||
| But he had it documented. | ||
| MDs are going back and studying his readings and going, holy shit. | ||
| You can't debunk him. | ||
| He had the power. | ||
| He had the power to reach and he's not the only one. | ||
| There's a lot of people that could do it. | ||
| Meditation helps. | ||
| You know, you yourself have even said through meditating in your tank that you feel like you have access to information. | ||
| Well, I definitely feel like the closer you get to being at peace and in the right frequency, and that you can direct your frequency. | ||
| I really do believe that. | ||
| I believe that with the tank, and especially if I go into the tank under the influence of the sacred plant, And I get into that groove of completely, totally letting go and trying to abandon all that is about me and just try to be empty and just tune into it. | ||
| There's a place that I get to. | ||
| It's almost like I go on this little journey. | ||
| And I got to keep it together while I'm going on this journey because sometimes when I'm on it, it could get a little weird. | ||
| I start thinking about myself or about my life or about anything else. | ||
| And then it interrupts my progress. | ||
| But if I can tune in and stay in long enough, it's like I go through a tunnel. | ||
| And then when I get through the tunnel, if I can keep it together, I get through the tunnel and then I break on through to the other side. | ||
| And when I break on through to the other side, it literally is like I get to another place. | ||
| It's like I go through this tunnel. | ||
| This tunnel of, it's almost like tuning my mind into the perfect frequency and whether or not I'm willing to let go of all of my control. | ||
| All of my control and my thinking. | ||
| And if I can, if I can, it's literally like a magical event, man, where I pop through this tunnel on the other side and there's this beautiful, incredible, psychedelic world over there. | ||
| Psychedelic world of patterns and communication and it's like a mushroom trip. | ||
| It's like a DMT trip. | ||
| Yeah, so either A, that's imaginary and it's all just in your head. | ||
| It's a trip. | ||
| Or B, it's actually some place. | ||
| Well, you know, I don't think there is anything that's imaginary. | ||
| This is my thinking about the imagination. | ||
| This is what I think, man. | ||
| Your imagination, you're a very creative person. | ||
| Now think of all the different things that you've thought of, you know, whether you were when you were writing shit for the man show or whether you're creating jujitsu moves. | ||
| Whatever it is, you think it, and then it manifests itself in a real form as a real thing, a solid object. | ||
| It was at one point in time just a thought. | ||
| Like, the ability to put something in a can. | ||
| Somebody had to think this up, how to make a fucking can, and then figure out how many coconuts you'd have to squash to get all this coconut juice into this can. | ||
| There's a lot of work involved in that, but someone has to create it and think it. | ||
| And so the imagination allows you to think of these ideas, and then they manifest themselves in a real form. | ||
| So the real question is... | ||
| What the fuck is the imagination? | ||
| When you're thinking things up and someone comes up with the idea of nuclear power, I mean, granted, there's a bunch of steps along the way, a bunch of other discoveries have to be made, a bunch of things have to be pieced together to get to a point where you're making a nuclear power plant or an airplane or fucking anything really complicated. | ||
| But the bottom line is all of it has come out of nothing. | ||
| All of it, every idea ever, has come out of the air. | ||
| It's the imagination. | ||
| What is it? | ||
| So you're saying be it someplace. | ||
| And if you look at the ancient Indians, is there an Akashic Records? | ||
| Is there proof? | ||
| Yes, there's lots of proof, but the undeniable proof, you look at Edgar Cayce, he proves that you can somehow, under hypnosis or in a trance or in meditation, you can tap into this infinite knowledge, these answers that came from somewhere else. | ||
| So if there is this infinite river of knowledge, Or what the hell is it? | ||
| Who created it? | ||
| What's it for? | ||
| Is there consciousness behind it? | ||
| Did something create it? | ||
| When we exist in the spirit world, are we like this super infinite? | ||
| I mean, because if you listen to the mystics and ancient cultures, the mediums, if you look at all the things they all agree on, they all say, and even Terence McKenna has said this, that in the afterlife, In the other dimension, there's no time. | ||
| There's no past. | ||
| There's no present. | ||
| There's just now. | ||
| Everything happens at the same time. | ||
| No human can actually understand that or understand what that feels. | ||
| They can't wrap their brain around it. | ||
| I can't. | ||
| I can say it, but I don't really know what it feels like. | ||
| But that's what they all say. | ||
| There is no time. | ||
| And this dimension that we're living in is an illusion of time. | ||
| We see time moves in a linear fashion, so we perceive it as time, and like, what does that really mean? | ||
| This is an illusion? | ||
| Really? | ||
| Like, what could it mean? | ||
| And if there is this river of infinite knowledge, Damn it. | ||
| Whatever created that for sure is there's some intelligent design going on. | ||
| Like that's what I'm coming. | ||
| That's the conclusion I'm coming to. | ||
| That's not just some natural phenomenon where there's infinite knowledge and certain people under meditation could tap into it. | ||
| That sounds like there's some awesome shit that created that for multiple dimensions. | ||
| Right? | ||
| If it exists. | ||
| And then you backtrack that it exists. | ||
| Yes, there's lots of proof that it is there. | ||
| People are taking information. | ||
| The guy who guessed my birthday and my friend's birthday, he tapped into this infinite river of knowledge that ancient cultures all talk about. | ||
| Do you believe in God? | ||
| Man, of course. | ||
| But you can call it not like the bearded man or Allah, but there is a higher power. | ||
| There is intelligent design. | ||
| If what we know is it, It's embarrassing for this universe. | ||
| If we're the smartest, nobody knows shit on this planet. | ||
| Yeah, but that's not embarrassing, because at one point in time, it had to be lower than us. | ||
| If the Big Bang actually created the universe, at one point in time, like a day old, was the universe like, God, you should be embarrassed with yourself. | ||
| This is it? | ||
| You don't even have worms yet, you fucking loser? | ||
| Well, the whole universe, if everything evolves, at one point in time, it has to be in a low form. | ||
| You know, what we are in this, you know, if this is a universe, if this is a dimension, you know, whatever you want to classify this space that we dwell in, you know, whether you think it's one part of the great beyond, it's all attached together, whatever the fuck it is, this part is at this stage, this is where it is, you know, as embarrassing as what we are right now, this may very well be as far as it gets. | ||
| I mean, if we think that there are aliens, and we think that aliens at one point in time used to be, you know, like us, and then they evolved and became much better than us, well, that means they had to be like us at one point in time. | ||
| For sure. | ||
| Somebody, somebody, the fucking top of the line, the front of the line had to be like us at one point in time. | ||
| There's no argument for evolution. | ||
| Maybe it's us. | ||
| It might be us. | ||
| I believe in evolution and a higher power and intelligent design at the same time. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Trippy, would that be, though, if we really were the top of the line as far as intelligence goes, as far as the universe? | ||
| What if we really are the only one? | ||
| That would be a trip, man. | ||
| That would be ridiculous. | ||
| It wouldn't be incredible. | ||
| It sounds ridiculous. | ||
| The odds of it. | ||
| I mean, the odds that we... | ||
| Oh, we're number one. | ||
| We're lucky. | ||
| But here's the thing. | ||
| It had to happen somewhere once, right? | ||
| If it happens here, right, if we are the ones and we've gotten to this point, then just because it... | ||
| I'm not saying this right, but because it's happening here doesn't mean that it's happening somewhere else. | ||
| It might literally only be happening here. | ||
| I believe in evolution, absolutely. | ||
| I mean, there's so much proof of it, but there's also these inconsistencies with it too, like the missing link and the chromosomes and all that stuff. | ||
| I think a lot of that is just a lack of understanding, honestly. | ||
| I believe in both. | ||
| I believe that if there's an Akashic Records, if there's an infinite river of knowledge, There's definitely, in my eyes, the conclusion would be that there's a higher power with higher intelligence than what we're at. | ||
| Someone else, we're not creating that shit. | ||
| Somebody created that. | ||
| We can't fucking make an infinite river of knowledge where we can just grab it like a supercomputer. | ||
| We're still on laptops. | ||
| I'm saying that that proves... | ||
| That there's something way beyond us. | ||
|
unidentified
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Way beyond. | |
| It might not be that simple. | ||
| It might be something like we're moving towards becoming that. | ||
| It might be that. | ||
| It might be that there is no God and there is no one who's at the wheel of this whole thing, but that the whole thing is moving in a direction. | ||
| The way to move in the correct direction is to move towards God, is to move towards love, is to move towards friendship and happiness. | ||
| And that's why when you crack through to the next stage, when you have that DMT trip and you go over there, it's like, What you're trying to do is to get there. | ||
| What you're trying to do is to tune in to how they're tuned in. | ||
| And then it's not even that there's a thing behind it, but it's that you are it. | ||
| You are that thing. | ||
| We all are that thing. | ||
| Water molecules in the ocean. | ||
| That's one of the conclusions and theories based on all the shit that I've heard. | ||
| It seems like the... | ||
| Afterworld is like an ocean. | ||
| It is like God is one. | ||
| God is ocean, but we're all part of it. | ||
| We're all like a water molecule. | ||
| We're all affected. | ||
| It's the ultimate mindfuck. | ||
| It's the ultimate mindfuck to think about, you know, and that your own biology is sort of betraying you into thinking that you're an individual and that you're not a part of some gigantic fucking thing that's all happening. | ||
| But one of the things that you've realized and I've realized over the course of our friendship, I mean, Eddie's been my best friend since I think 2000, we started hanging out in 2000. It comes back to the story of the Twister. | ||
| Because this is how we became good friends. | ||
| I was getting private lessons when I first started doing Jiu Jitsu. | ||
| I was a blue belt under this dude. | ||
| I won't say his name. | ||
| He's a very nice guy. | ||
| But I'm going to say something negative. | ||
| And because I was getting private lessons from him all the time, he was the only guy that I was rolling with. | ||
| And I wasn't really learning nearly as much as I thought. | ||
| I thought, like if you're kickboxing, like you say, if you get a chance to work out with Rob Kamen, It's way better to work out what Rob came in one-on-one than it is to go to a private class. | ||
| He's going to correct all your technique. | ||
| So I thought that would be the case with jiu-jitsu. | ||
| I would get really good going to class. | ||
| It ain't like that. | ||
| And Eddie was the first person to tell me. | ||
| And Eddie came to one of the private lessons that I was having with Silvio, and we rolled around a little bit. | ||
| And right away, he got me in a twister. | ||
| And I had no idea what the fuck he's doing. | ||
| All of a sudden, he hooks my knee with his left leg, and his left foot goes under his right knee, and he rolls forward under his left shoulder, and I'm spinning around like a top, and next thing you know, he's got my arm wrapped around his neck, and he's fucking pulling on my neck like this. | ||
| I was like, what the fuck did you just do? | ||
| Like, I had been doing jujitsu for two years, and I had no idea what the fuck you just did to me. | ||
| And I was like, God damn. | ||
| And you're like, I'll teach you all this shit. | ||
| I was like, dude, teach me this shit. | ||
| And that's how we became friends. | ||
| And that's also how I started smoking pot. | ||
| I was on the Marc Maron podcast the other day, and this came up. | ||
| I thought that marijuana... | ||
| And all that stuff was for losers. | ||
| I thought that it just made you a loser. | ||
| You're just going to become unmotivated. | ||
| You're not going to get anything done. | ||
| You're going to be a dummy and just sit and watch TV. That's not what I wanted, man. | ||
| I wanted to make sure. | ||
| We're like our friend Bud. | ||
| We have a good friend Bud who's like super fucking go-getter. | ||
| You know, Bud is a great guy. | ||
| He's the one who put together the TV show to build that car, that Barracuda. | ||
| And he's also the one who did my garage, like an MMA garage. | ||
| He's always got like a bunch of different TV shows going on. | ||
| And he's a fucking go-getter. | ||
| And you and I are always like, dude, please just let us get you high. | ||
| How many times? | ||
| More than anybody. | ||
| More than Dr. Drew. | ||
| More than anybody. | ||
| How many times have we been having this conversation with him? | ||
| And he's always like, after I make my first million. | ||
| Then he makes his first million. | ||
| Like, I'm still... | ||
| I don't want to slow down now. | ||
| Like, he just does not want to slow down. | ||
| And we're like, it ain't about slowing down, man. | ||
| It's not about... | ||
| I'm not slowing down. | ||
| I haven't slowed down at all. | ||
| I work more now than I ever did before. | ||
| Same here, man. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Dizzy motherfuckers. | ||
| Isn't that an annoying goddamn stereotype that potheads are lazy? | ||
| We get a lot of shit done, dude. | ||
| I'm doing two podcasts a week. | ||
| I'm writing a book. | ||
| I'm writing my stand-up comedy. | ||
| I'm performing stand-up comedy. | ||
| And I'm doing the commentary for the number one mixed martial arts organization in the fucking world. | ||
| And I'm training jiu-jitsu. | ||
| And I'm doing kettlebells. | ||
| And I'm raising kids. | ||
| And I play pool every night. | ||
| And I gotta surf the internet and I gotta beat off. | ||
| There's a lot of shit going on, man. | ||
| There's a lot of goddamn time. | ||
| I'm not lazy at all. | ||
| I squeeze it all out every day. | ||
| So when people say that potheads, you know, that it makes you lazy, it's just a stereotype, man. | ||
| And that was a stereotype that I thought before I met you, man. | ||
| I do sleep till about 10.45 every day. | ||
| So what? | ||
| What time do you go to bed? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'll do that. | |
| What time do you go to bed? | ||
| Two or three. | ||
| Yeah, that's like eight hours. | ||
| That's what you're supposed to get, man. | ||
| Most of these people are in bed at 10 o'clock at night. | ||
| That's why when they get up at 6 o'clock in the morning, they're all impressed with themselves. | ||
| I'm like, yeah, bitch, I slept till 1.30 in the afternoon. | ||
| But where were you at 5 a.m.? | ||
| I was writing the greatest bit I've ever written in my life, okay? | ||
| That's why I write my best shit. | ||
| I was in the fucking isolation tank traveling through the universe, all right? | ||
| That's what I was doing while you were sleeping. | ||
| So don't give me a hard time because my time is different than your time. | ||
| Like, somehow or another, you know, you're fucking doing yoga at 5 a.m., so you're the king. | ||
| Fuck you, stupid. | ||
| And it's all based on farmers anyway. | ||
| You're right, it's based on farmers. | ||
| You don't have to fucking get up early. | ||
| That's nonsense. | ||
| Asleep! | ||
| The crazy thing is that Joe and I, before we started smoking weed, we were totally against it. | ||
| We were a bag on stoners and we thought it made you stupid. | ||
| I would talk so much shit on stoners. | ||
| And at 28, that's when I found out the truth. | ||
| That's when I reaped the benefits of marijuana. | ||
| And then when I met Joe, he was so funny. | ||
| I thought, this guy's got to smoke pot. | ||
| He's so funny. | ||
| I'd go see him do stand-up at the comedy store, and I'm like, that's that dude who trains at Jean-Jacques Machado's. | ||
| He trains at my school. | ||
| Hey, what's up, dude? | ||
| I train at your school. | ||
| And I was like, watch him do comedy. | ||
| And I thought he was great. | ||
| I go, he's got to smoke pot. | ||
| Yeah, Eddie and I had a bunch of fortuitous meetings just out of the blue before we became friends. | ||
| At one time, Eddie's eyes aren't so good. | ||
| And one time, we were at Mel's Diner, and it was late at night, man. | ||
| It was like 1 o'clock in the morning. | ||
| And I'm like, yo, Eddie! | ||
| Eddie! | ||
| Yo, Eddie! | ||
| He's like, man, who's this motherfucker talking to me, man? | ||
| I'm going to have to fight this dude in front of my chick. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's right. | |
| You remember that? | ||
| Oh, my God, you remember that? | ||
| Yeah, you thought I was like some dude who's just fucking with you. | ||
| I had it thrown down. | ||
| I'm like, I thought you were, because I was with the chick, and I thought you were saying something to the chick. | ||
| Yeah, you didn't hear what I was saying, and you can't see that good, so you couldn't see me from a distance. | ||
| So by the time I came up to your table, you're like, who's this motherfucker? | ||
| And then you go, oh, hey, dude. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I didn't watch NewsRadio, and at that point, it was before Fear Factor, so I never watched NewsRadio, and so I was like, oh, can I hear he's an actor or something? | ||
| I barely remembered you, but then when I saw you at the comedy store... | ||
| That was by luck, too. | ||
| You didn't come there with me. | ||
| You just came there. | ||
| You weren't even friends. | ||
| I would go see comedy, because right when I started smoking weed, I began to appreciate comedy way more, because... | ||
| It's way better. | ||
| To me, all of a sudden, my mind figured out how to write comedy. | ||
| Right when I started smoking weed. | ||
| I was fascinated with comedy, but I never understood how they put bits together. | ||
| I didn't understand the setup. | ||
| I didn't understand the structure of comedy. | ||
| But as soon as I started smoking weed, I'm like, I know what they're doing now. | ||
| They're doing this, and they're taking that, and then doing... | ||
| So I understood the basic formula, so I just became fascinated. | ||
| And then I saw you, and I'm like... | ||
| That's that dude from my jujitsu school. | ||
| He's an actor. | ||
| And you killed me. | ||
| You were all nothing but dick jokes and relationship jokes, chick jokes, dating jokes. | ||
| But you were killing it. | ||
| And then when you walked off stage, I'm like, hey, dude, what's up, dude? | ||
| I know you fucking were awesome. | ||
| And then that's when he invited me to give him a private or something. | ||
| That's when I met you when I was taking privates with that dude. | ||
| And then you came down to class and then the pot smoking began. | ||
| That was it. | ||
| Yeah, you know, it took me... | ||
| I thought you totally smoked weed, so what I asked you was... | ||
| Let's not tell about the story, because it's kind of illegal. | ||
| Oh. | ||
| The one thing, the one part about the story. | ||
| Isonomy is not illegal in California. | ||
| You know what I'm saying? | ||
| Yeah, but it's legal now. | ||
| Weed's legal now. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You know what I'm saying? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Totally. | ||
| That's cryptic shit for you bitches. | ||
| Listen, this goddamn podcast has been going on long enough. | ||
| If it wasn't for Eddie Bravo, I would have never got into jujitsu. | ||
| If it wasn't for Eddie Bravo, I never would have become a stoner. | ||
| He's one of my fucking favorite human beings to walk the face of the earth. | ||
| You can find him on Twitter, E-D-D-I-E-B-R-A-V-O on Twitter. | ||
| And your website is 10thplanetjj.com, right? | ||
| Yep, I'm on the forum every day, the Nibiru forum. | ||
| And Brian Redband, you can catch him on Twitter at Redband, R-E-D-B-A-N. And please follow him. | ||
| He's getting very insecure. | ||
| He's got such a high Death Squad iTunes rating. | ||
| It's like number 13 and shit. | ||
| It's blowing the fuck up. | ||
| But yet his goddamn Twitter is so minuscule. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I know. | |
| Well, I've just surpassed the 300,000 mark, bitches. | ||
| Can I say one more thing before we close? | ||
| Yeah, for sure. | ||
| We were talking about Michael Jai White earlier. | ||
| I just want to say that the Never Back Down 2... | ||
| Michael J. White was the producer, star, director. | ||
| He wanted to make sure that it was MMA authentic and not be anything like the first one. | ||
| So Never Back Down 2, you know, he brought me in as a consultant. | ||
| I ended up getting a little part. | ||
| I got a couple songs on the soundtrack. | ||
| But we did our best to make it, to fill all the holes, to make sure that a hardcore MMA fan could come and watch this movie and couldn't poke any holes. | ||
| And there's a twister in there, too. | ||
| I choreographed a fight where he gets a guy to twist her. | ||
| And it seemed at that point like, you know, like there was no twisters in the UFC. So I could see like the producers as I'm putting it together. | ||
| Like, are you sure we're going to do this? | ||
| I mean, this is legit. | ||
| Are people going to... | ||
| Isn't this like a double flip kick? | ||
| And thank God the Korean zombie pulled off a twister. | ||
| So now it legitimizes that part of the movie as well. | ||
| Nice. | ||
| So there's rubber guard in the movie. | ||
| We did our best with it, man. | ||
| I saw a rough cut of it. | ||
| I loved it, so... | ||
| Cool. | ||
| All right, this weekend, Portland, I'm there with Joey Diaz. | ||
| Thursday, Friday, Saturday at the Helium Comedy Club. | ||
| This shit is all almost sold out. | ||
| If you want tickets, you've got to jump on it right now because there was very few left as of today. | ||
| So get in there. | ||
| Thank you, everybody, for Seattle. | ||
| The Moore Theater was fucking sold out and it was crazy. | ||
| And the Voodoo Chicken went on stage for the very first time. | ||
| It was absolutely spectacular. | ||
| Seattle, you guys are the shit. | ||
| I had a great fucking time. | ||
| And when I said how many people listened to the podcast, like 99% of the crowd went crazy. | ||
| It's all podcast people now. | ||
| These crowds are all podcast crowds. | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Thank you very much for the Fleshlight. | ||
| To the Fleshlight, if you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link that says Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off. | ||
| So that's it, Freaks. | ||
| Wednesday, we're doing Joey Diaz. | ||
| Joey Diaz will be on the podcast Wednesday, and then Wednesday night we'll be at Sal's Comedy Hall in L.A. All right, bitches, you know I love you! | ||
| Saturday night, or Saturday, the Saturday 10th Planet, Springfield. | ||
| I'll be there teaching a seminar. | ||
| Springfield, Massachusetts? | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Springfield, Missouri. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm sorry. | |
| Springfield, Missouri this Saturday. | ||
| Get on the Nibiru Forum. | ||
| Get the details. | ||
| At 10thPlanetJJ.com. | ||
| All right, bitches. | ||
| We will see you guys on Wednesday. | ||
| I think I over, bitches. | ||
| I did one more. | ||
| It sounded artificial. | ||
| That last, bitches. |
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