Host addresses a DDoS attack before revealing Lolcal Awards results where Kaya Place won Media of the Year after eliminating the Elon Musk salute, Alex Hagendorp took Opsec Fail, and Anna Valens claimed VTuber of the Year. Billy Mitchell defeated Clint Saunders for Best Supporting Actor, while Candace Owens secured Girl Cal of the Year with nearly 1,600 votes. Blue Folf won Most Deviant for fursuit feces, Roblox took Best Heard despite safety criticisms, and Aniza Joamha were crowned Lolcal of the Year for their financially ruinous Creator Clash 3 event. Ultimately, the awards highlight the chaotic, often absurd nature of online creator culture. [Automatically generated summary]
I do have some kvetching to do about lolcal-related stuff, but almost kind of a footnote.
It's been a mixture of like a crazy week, but also like a kind of slow week where all the stuff I want to talk about is unfortunately not with the funny people.
But over here to make sure that we behave is the Neil Maham, who will be watching over me studiously.
I've been a little bit unhinged the last couple of streams because Neil Maham has not been watching us, but we are on YouTube.
So we must be the goodest boys as we talk about the most interesting thing that I have to share, which is the results of Lol Cal of the Year.
Before I get into that, because I'll let people pile in a little bit, I'm going to recap kind of what I want to talk about at the beginning of the stream before I just get into the local theater.
First, I do have the Lolcale of the Air.
If I get DDoS attacked again, I will make an effort to fix it.
If I can't fix it, I will just kind of break the site a little bit to give me access to it.
And then I will privately showcase Locale of the Year.
And if that happens, then I will simply have to take a five-minute thing to reconfigure the servers a little bit to my benefit and then go from there.
I apologize if that is the case, but you know how it is.
There is a gay pedophile who's very angry at us because we know who he is and where he lives, and that upsets him.
So we just have to make do with what we have, chat.
Let's see.
I've been coding.
Is that worth talking about?
I've been coding up.
I've been slopping out a storm, chat.
I've been slapping out a storm of code.
I'm very excited.
I had trouble sleeping last night even because I was so excited about all the things I wanted to slop up.
I even have written on the envelope of old mail in front of me all my ideas because I woke up.
I went out and I scurried all my ideas down on a piece of paper.
So that's cool.
That's cool, chat.
Minneapolis is on fire.
I will talk about that.
I have a lot to say about my least favorite person in the entire state of Ohio, namely Vivek Ramaswamy.
I will be encouraging some enhanced action on behalf, on my behalf, on the Vivek question.
And I think that's about it.
And then I have some not safe for Neil Mah, not safe for Neil Maham type content that I want to talk about after that.
And then I got little cows and stuff.
So let's see.
I am streaming to Facebook for the first time in a long time.
It is a big, big, insanely big pain in the ass to stream on Facebook.
There's even a boomer in the chat.
I'll say hello, boomer.
Godwy, it will make sense to you over the course of this stream, Sar.
It will make sense to you.
And then I think PPP and Mediker are streaming today.
Mediker, of course, is near or in.
I think he's in a suburb outside of Minneapolis.
So he's probably going to be talking about that as something near and dear to his heart.
And then I don't know what PayPay Pay is talking about.
But that's exciting.
So if you're a content consumer, you have a lot of content today, unusually so.
All right.
I have been streaming for six minutes.
That is all the time you get.
You better have that fucking bell ring.
You better have the fucking notifications on.
You better get email notifications.
You better have your retina meta contact lenses blasting alerts as soon as I go live because I don't dilly deli chat.
Let me refresh kick, actually.
There we go.
Okay.
Fyre Fest Notifications00:14:52
So locale of the year.
I'm going to go in reverse order on the site.
So we will be starting with the media section.
Here it is.
It's off center for reasons unknown to me.
Actually, this is the wrong page.
You know what?
That's fine.
That looks fine.
So here's the media section.
Very, very hotly contested media section.
But I want to save locale for the year for the last.
So let's go over to on my private side.
I've tested this.
I know it works.
I'm going to go to the results and then I'm going to calculate the results.
And this will show you how this works moving forward.
So with 3,672 votes.
So this is not just 100 people in a straw poll like last year.
This is thousands of people have deliberated this.
And as you can see, I'm calculating them one at a time.
So media of the year, Kaya Place.
I'm a little bit disappointed.
I'll break down how the votes are counted in a second, but let's review Kaya Place in case you haven't seen this enough this year.
I hate this fucking country so much.
You can be on a fucking mountain in the middle of Norway and get better internet than Los Angeles, California.
Shardy was robbed.
I fucking agree.
A moment of anger.
This is a moment of fucking anger for like something that is just so routine, so silly, such a first world problem.
But it is emblematic of all of America's much more consequential violence.
Okay.
It's the same reason as to why America.
Kaya, please just fucking go just stop.
So much anger.
So much resentment.
Then he insults the dog.
Christ, what are you doing?
Praying to Jesus he doesn't even believe in, calling the dog a baby.
And then look, even as he does this, the sub-notification with Kaya shows up in the corner just to rub it in.
He's apparently so important, they draw art to the fucking thing.
And then he zaps.
Very Turkish behavior, if I do say so myself.
Second place was the Kanye West song, also known as Untitled Song.
If you're on YouTube, I'm a little bit just, I honestly, I thought that was a sure-in.
And then the Will Stancil show.
That's just favoritism from the poll tards.
I'm not going to lie to you.
Like, I don't know.
I guess it's funny.
It's like a thing and it caused such a stir, but um, you know, it definitely wasn't as funny as the 4chan hack.
Okay, so this just goes to show you, soy teens.
You fucking zoomies didn't vote, and your media lost.
If you had voted harder, you would have definitely at least been up there in third place.
Unfortunately, you got clobbered by the poll charts from articles and happenings.
I thought that was the funniest thing ever.
Now, let me show you how comprehensive this system is.
So, you know, I'm not just pulling numbers out of my ass.
If we go down to the bottom, so um, you'll see this is how it does eliminations.
So, it took 10 rounds for the media to achieve consensus.
So, round one, it eliminated ADF and then Brad Taste, and then the Vampire Six was eliminated next.
That's crazy that that was all the way down there.
Um, then the Elon Musk salute somehow got more.
Is that accurate?
There's no way.
My heart goes out to you, had 90 first place uh votes.
Actually, I can break this down even further down here so you can verify it.
Look at this, look at this awesome table that I made.
Look at how fucking cool this is.
So, um, Vampire Six only had 85 first-place votes.
I guess it's just because the other ones are so funny, and then it eliminated um clavihicular assault.
That was a last uh week entry, literally last week.
Then the actual uh Grok interview with Will Stancil, followed by the H3 content cop.
As a very disappointing, I'm sure many people will be disappointed that this fell into fifth place, but on the other hand, it was a very bad content cop, so that's kind of understandable.
Once that was eliminated, QA was eliminated, and then the Will Stancil show was eliminated, leading to a toss-up between Kaya Place and the untitled Kanye West song, uh, which was very competitive chat.
So, I feel like that's cool.
Uh, great job.
Um, this is the one that was very dismissive of uh the Opsec fail award, not a very competitive category, mostly a thing for weirdos on the forum who pay a lot of attention to this.
I will calculate the results for the Opsec Fail Award.
Okay, they are in chat, and it is Alex Hagendorp, um, as a not even a clear finalist, he was very close to Lurking Lemur.
These two people are very popular with the demographics on the Kiwi farms that enjoy yelling at people.
Um, I believe that my vote was for Unreal, of course, in third place, the gay pedophilia for mentions, allegedly.
Um, and uh, this is the breakdown in case you want to go down and see how that turns out.
Um, but it was pretty pretty close between the three of them, um, with about 500 plus each.
The reason why it says final votes are higher is because um of the how the second place votes work.
So, you can see that they got about an even number.
Actually, Unreal Skybox beat out Lurking Lemur for first place, but not many people put Unreal for second place.
So, when they finally did eliminations and stuff, Unreal came out to third, um, kind of distant.
So, either you were very partial to him or you weren't, effectively.
Next, um, the segment is best supporting actor.
This was one of my favorite categories, as I mentioned when I was going over the results because uh, they're very interesting, weird people.
I should change the photo, by the way.
Someone pointed out that the picture that was picked out of Clint was very unflattering towards him and quite mean-spirited.
So, this is, I believe, his official headshot because he does some sort of professional thing that involves this weird uniform.
So, that's how he chooses to present himself.
So, we ended up swatching, swapping his photo out at the request of many people.
So, with 3,500 votes, we will now have our best supporting actor.
And unsurprisingly, Billy Mitchell, obviously, was there any doubt?
He is the king now after he has humbled Carl Jobst, has a very big fandom printing out money with the hot sauce, doing collabs with East Celebs to make.
I actually told you, I think I did a gumroad in a locals video of his hot sauce.
Very good.
Not even a joke.
I've been putting it on my eggs and it's excellent.
In fact, I even had a little bit of his regular normal run-of-the-mill hot sauce, the brand line.
I had a little bit of that as it was because it was very tasty.
And I do enjoy a nice vinegary hot sauce chat.
So I might try others, actually.
Might do a hot sauce.
It was the 13th year of the Kiwi Farms.
I should do a hot sauce with Billy Mitchell.
I don't know.
I'll talk to him.
Maybe I can get something a little bit tangy with Kiwi in it.
That would be stupid, but that's on the table chat.
Second place, Clint Saunders, mostly out of appreciation for his role in King Cobra JPS's life.
And then third place, Frogan, a rising star of the best supporting actor category chat.
Maybe Frogan will win first place next year.
Maybe she'll be rising star of the best supporting actor category a second year and a third year in a row forever and ever.
Amen.
We will see how that plays out.
Rat Dead, disciplining fourth.
And despite how great my description for Derek Christmas was, he only got six.
The V Tuber anime avatar in the fucking bin where it belongs, to be quite honest with you.
The voters did not get this one wrong.
This is a very good card.
That's the elimination.
And as you can see, Billy Mitchell did not achieve a 50% first place because Clint was a favorite of many people that were fans of King Cobra, but the second votes bumped him up by another 500.
He almost got 776 votes.
He was a little bit off.
So make sure you vote, chat, because you can make mean numbers happen.
All right, next, the In Memoriam category chat.
Now, this one, we were a little bit picky.
There are other people that died this year.
Unfortunately, the bar was raised so high by King Cobra that no other contestants were entered.
And unsurprisingly, he has won with, I was going to say, zero final votes.
That's a bug.
If you only have one vote, it doesn't add in the second category.
But he won with a clear majority of 3,516 votes.
That is 3,516 people who went out of their way to vote for King Cobra JFS for the In Memoriam category chat.
Next, the VTuber of the year.
Now, if you can't tell which one this is going to be to, you got to get your fucking head check because it's pretty obvious what's going to happen.
Less than 3,000 votes for this category.
So this was one of the least interesting according to the voters chat.
A little bit of a voter depression here, chat, but let's see who it is.
It's the fucking peanut with a clear majority.
In fact, I want to say that this might be the first one that is a shutout just based off the first round.
We will see here.
Actually, it definitely is because you can see it's 1,147 first choices versus Anna Vallins for second place.
Congratulations, Anna Valens.
Second place to the burned peanut for V2 of the year, followed by Pippa Pipkins.
Not surprising.
Got a lot of fanboys on the forum.
What can I say?
Nachisu Miku lost.
Unsurprising.
Shondo, not beating out Nachisu Miku is a little bit one.
I think I voted for Kiki Pympion.
Kiki Pyompion and the epic disposal of the Gator Gamer was one of my favorite videos all time.
I couldn't have done it without her.
But she is a lollycon into water sports who is a school teacher.
So that probably didn't help with her votes.
And this was a, I want to say this was decisive, but it doesn't say that.
Still did the full rounds.
I think this was decisive for the burned peanut.
All right, next.
Most deviant.
Let's check him out, chat.
Check them out.
Drumroll, please, if you're into that.
We're telling the 2,700 votes.
This is actually less than the VTuber, I guess, because of the peanut.
The peanut was just such a strong contender that people voted for the VTuber category that didn't vote for the most deviant category.
I'm going to guess synthetic man.
Blue Folf!
What?
Okay.
Blue Folf.
The guy that shit on a plate in a fursuit.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm not going to judge.
I'm not going to judge the voters.
Everyone doing their civic duty.
I'm proud of them.
Followed by Fallen Chungus, which I'm a little bit surprised about when I see it.
But at the same time, I know that he's really popular with the younger people because of his meme comic.
Actually, it is a really interesting story about how he made this meme comic and then his entire life fell apart because he had no idea how to handle the celebrity.
So if you have a kid that's active on the internet, make sure you touch base with him because he might make a meme comic and then implode his life on accident.
Fair warning, everybody.
Followed by Synthetic Man, followed by Puppy Chan.
Last place, Crusader Cat.
Only 56 people.
And you know what?
Half of those probably just voted randomly.
I'm going to be real with you.
And there's the table.
Blue Folf.
Pretty good.
Pretty competitive between Blue Folf and Fallen Chungus.
And Bam McGuerre, who's making a bit of a comeback.
I've seen a lot of activity in his thread because I think Jackass is coming back.
And there is some speculation on if Bam McGarrow will be returning to Jackass.
It was actually an interesting post I read about how Bam did not return to Jackass during a reunion because they had become clean alcoholics or sober alcoholics and he was not.
And they didn't want him around because he was still drinking.
So there's some kerfuffle on if he's actually returning to Jackass.
All right, let's tally it up.
Who's the winner here?
Patrick Sean Tom.
There's no surprise.
He's simply the best.
I actually have some Patrick, some pat posting to do this stream.
In fact, did he win with the blowout?
No, not quite.
Not quite because it has to be 50% of all the first rank voters.
So that's pretty close, but it's not a blowout.
There haven't been any blowouts yet.
Patrick, followed by Kanye.
Dude, this has got to be an ego up for the guy if he sees this.
Beating out his sworn enemies of both Kanye West and Elon Musk for first place, Best Gen X Cole Cow.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
It's like when he published that book that was actually successful.
It's like, wow, you know, that's actually, that's actually impressive.
Good for you, Patrick.
As I said, followed by Kanye.
No surprise there.
Did not win Best Media.
Actually, did he get second place?
He did.
He's just coming up for twos this year.
Okay, that's fine.
Whatever.
Elon Musk in third.
Whereas even though his salute did not go that high.
Followed by Boogie for Forboo.
Who voted for Boogie?
Oh, man.
That's like a serious drop off.
$350 for Boogie, down to $100 for Bam McGarrow, down to 81 for Roy.
Jim Stewart's son.
He's kind of like popular with the actual boomers because he's like a crazy person.
He's like liberal Alex Jones, but his audience is not on the Kiwi Farms.
And then Suttering John is a bit of a niche.
So there you go with that.
Then Girl Cal the year, Jess Zong, one of the last entries, just because of her Twitter chimp out.
But that's a recency bias chat.
That is a recency bias that might play in her favor.
3,400 votes for this category.
Candace Owens, she can't stop winning, chat.
After Charlie Kirk dies, she becomes the number one conservative influencer, and then she wins Girl Cow of the Year.
I imagine that this one is, God, 1600.
This is the AH vote.
This is like when they do Project Mayhem in the primaries and all the people switch teams to fuck with each other's primaries.
It's like all the AH posters came over to the Girl Calvier category to fuck with it and elect Candace Owens, just as for memes.
Candace Owens at nearly 1600.
Followed by Alyssa Mercant, which I don't blame.
She is pretty crazy.
Followed by Pizza Cake, who is my first pick, I believe, because she is Cray Cray.
Foodie Votes Surge00:03:04
I can actually check this and see why.
If I was logged in, you'd be able to see on the, like if you go down to this table and you look at the, if you actually voted, your votes would be gold.
They'd be the gold cells.
So you could see how your votes line up, I believe.
So I voted Pizza Cake, did not win.
Naked and laughing for fourth.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Samantha Prater has like this one really shitty thread that's just her getting trolled constantly.
So these 65 votes were people who participate in her thread, basically.
All right.
Fat people locals.
This is the winning.
This is a great category.
This is an excellent category every year.
This one had over 3,000 votes as well.
Finalize the results, chat.
And I'm going to guess Foodie.
Of course.
Of course.
Foodie Beauty.
Very turbulent year for her.
Move from Kuwait to Syria.
I think that happened this year.
They moved from Syria to Canada and is now involved in some very late, early year drama regarding her marriage.
And if that's actually going to fall apart, not surprising that she took the cake as she often does.
This might actually be, was this a decisive?
It was.
She won.
She had half this.
So this is what it looks like if it's decisive.
First round, it was 1700 to 378.
So she had more than half the votes already, first choice.
So she won decisively with over half the first round of votes.
That's what that looks like, in case you're wondering.
Not even close, is what I'm trying to say.
Followed by Tofia Chu, who is a bit of a TikTok meme because of her e-begging with her dead brother.
Followed by Jay Bay, who had a really, really, really funny video of her being hauled into an ambulance with, I believe it was described to me as a tarp they use to move heavy roadkill off the road.
So pretty good choice there.
Was Amberlynn not even on the list?
She sucks.
God, Amberlynn sucks.
And then Fresh Meat.
Lots of fun new faces.
Okay.
This one has 3,682 votes.
So this is one of the highest voted categories.
Calculating them in.
Carl Jobs.
I guess it makes sense.
If Billy Mitchell won best supporting actor, Carl Jobs would take home the Fresh Meat title for his losing the lawsuit.
And then in a move I didn't even see coming, he handled his lawsuit with precisely zero grace and civility and decided to basically keep insulting Billy Mitchell because he was bankrupt and had been told by his bankrupt attorney there's basically nothing more they can take from him.
And the bankruptcy courts in Australia are apparently very, very lenient.
So Carl Jobs, after losing his defamation suit to Billy Mitchell, came out and basically said, I've already lost everything that I can possibly lose under the bankruptcy laws of Australia.
So fuck you, Billy.
I'm going to keep going after you, even though I'm a complete loser.
Carl Jobs' Embarrassing Loss00:06:15
And there's something else.
He admitted no fault, moved some assets around, just acting like a complete retard and endeared himself to literally nobody.
So not surprising there at all.
This one might have also been a blowout, was it?
Oh my God, it was.
Billy Mitchell, not even close, with almost 1,800 votes over Clavicolor's 744.
This was a first-round elimination for Carl Jobs.
Followed by Clavicoler, who was the guy that ran over an African-American gentleman in his car, is a Nick Fuentez simp.
Mods looked maxing, so he's a Jani.
Followed by JetNeptune, who's a bit of a meme with the fishtank people because he fucks everything up.
Followed by Ang Vondra.
And I did.
I did skip over Best Heard.
So let's go back to this.
This, by the way, I will repeat, this is the best description on the entire thing.
I wrote this myself.
Apparently, this is out of date, though.
The Hearts of Iron 4 mod people told me that this is like why they were low cows like five years ago.
And now apparently the Hearts of Iron 4 TNO4 internet drama is so completely crazy and devolved that even this description is quaint and out of touch.
So I don't know.
I apologize.
I guess I fucked that one up.
But this is 3,745 for Best Heard, Refresh Haruski, and Roblox with over 1,000 first choice votes.
So this will be a blowout as well.
Roblox has won.
Hard to beat them.
Multi-billion dollar publicly traded company, most popular children's video game slash social media platform, except for maybe Minecraft, already getting banned in several countries because of the sex pest epidemic.
Remarkably, after multiple pieces coming out talking about how predators actively use the platform openly and nothing gets done about it, all of their executives circled the wagon, said there was no problem whatsoever, even though a random YouTuber like Ruben Sim could pinpoint how little they do to actually handle legitimate threats to children on their platform, getting sued in multiple states in the country.
So not surprised there at all.
Followed by Blue Sky, which is a surprise because Blue Sky is such an insipid waste dump of like mental rejects that it's actually remarkable anyone cared enough to vote for it.
But when you added up the second rank votes, they were actually very, very close to Roblox, Roblox's first votes.
Followed by Rowling, which I actually thought would be higher up.
Followed by the Kiwi Tubers with TNO in dead last, despite my wonderful write-up chat, but stiff competition.
And finally, after much deliberation by 4,495 trusted users of the Kiwi farms, not just random accounts.
These people have posted.
They participated in discussion.
They've been educated, some for almost 13 years now.
I know my vote was based off 13 years of experience.
Five candidates, one lol cow of the year.
We are calculating now, chat.
The results are in.
Mr. and Mrs. Aniza Joamha, with over 2,000 final votes, wins Lol Cow of the Year.
To the point where I am seriously considering ordering them a trophy and sending it up to Alberta because they deserve it.
They deserve to hang this on a wall, maybe a plaque.
I'm not sure yet.
I'm thinking about it.
Really crazy, turbulent year for them.
Not that they're craziest, I would even say.
The downfall of Mr. Anisa John Haw came very fast, but this year has been pretty crazy for them too, chat.
Creator Clash 3 looked like it was a doom project from the beginning.
Everyone was wondering to see how it could be worse than Creator Clash 2, which was a financial failure.
But they pulled out all the sops to make sure that it would be a complete catastrophe and utter humiliation for them.
Going after H3, one of the only people on the planet who actually made any effort to promote them.
Somebody who came out in defense of Ian after he made his embarrassing, yeah, my wife's a prostitute, so what video?
Just a guy that really stuck it by him and without a second thought, because probably because Aniza said too, dumped him under the bus.
And I see that the Kino Casino chat is spamming R for rigor.
They're not happy with the results.
I was wondering.
The chat's like in the corner of my eye, just going crazy because they're spamming it.
So just abandoned their friend, ruined their event, ended up getting it shut down.
All the investors lost their money.
And then the coach from the former year comes up and announces that they didn't put in even a tweet.
They didn't even give a tweet to support an anti-child marriage law in the face of somebody who was sold off as a sex slave in the United States.
Just an utter, complete catastrophe.
Ending the year cold, cold in Alberta, wondering if they can even afford warm socks to keep their feet from succumbing to frostbite in the cold, cold Alberta winters.
Second place is actually my pick.
Pirate software.
I had so much fun watching Pirate Self-Emulate, or not Emulate, but Emolate.
Really just came out of nowhere, was somehow this popular, trusted guy embarrassed himself on the World of Warcraft thing.
Lots of fun things to learn about World of Warcraft.
People still talking about it in 2026.
Learning about the mana gym and the robes of the Archmage and how he didn't use any of that shit and just abandoned all his friends to die.