Jim Fetzer - "Pizzacaust" Can They Make 6 Million in 5 Years?
Aired: 2025-06-25
Duration: 11:25


=== Good Morning, America (11:24) ===

[00:00:00]  Good morning, America.
[00:00:01]  As the great noticing dawns upon us, we want to know: can you really bake 6 million pizzas in five years?
[00:00:06]  I doubt it.
[00:00:07]  Erica, take it away.
[00:00:08]  Chloe and Michael, good morning.
[00:00:09]  To put that into perspective, that's over 3,000 pizzas a day every single day.
[00:00:13]  The question isn't just can they do it, but how?
[00:00:16]  We can't do it.
[00:00:17]  It's impossible.
[00:00:18]  How dare you even ask me to make 6 million pizzas?
[00:00:22]  We don't even have a chimney.
[00:00:24]  Well, they really got their work cut out for them.
[00:00:26]  If I were them, I would just lie and say they did it.
[00:00:29]  Right.
[00:00:30]  Let's go live to the manager.
[00:00:32]  Possible.
[00:00:32]  There's only 505,000 pizzas in this whole country.
[00:00:36]  You expect us to bake 6 million?
[00:00:38]  No way.
[00:00:39]  We're live in the kitchen watching this crew frantically load pizzas into the ovens.
[00:00:46]  This isn't possible.
[00:00:47]  They won't hit 6 million.
[00:00:49]  And even if they could, the Russian spot down the street did 62 million from 1917 to 1987.
[00:00:54]  We hear you're writing a diary about the pizzas.
[00:00:56]  How's that going?
[00:01:00]  This isn't what it looks like.
[00:01:02]  Ooh, he might have been trying to forge that.
[00:01:04]  Right?
[00:01:04]  I say just make it mandatory in every school and people will think it was real.
[00:01:08]  I heard they have enough red sauce to make like 271,000.
[00:01:11]  Not I. My question is, how are they supposed to retrieve the pizzas from the ovens?
[00:01:16]  That makes sense.
[00:01:17]  There's no ventilation.
[00:01:18]  How do they get their pizza?
[00:01:19]  How do they get their pizzas out?
[00:01:21]  Just a weird pizza cost.
[00:01:23]  The only problem with this restaurant is they don't have a chimney, so it makes going into the kitchen and retrieving the pizzas a difficult task.
[00:01:31]  In other news, if you haven't followed Jake GTV yet, you might be a total loser.
[00:01:35]  Certainly not based.
[00:01:37]  Most likely, retarded.
[00:01:39]  Welcome back to Jake GTV News.
[00:01:40]  Tonight we go live with the people controlling our media and banks.
[00:01:44]  Just kidding.
[00:01:44]  That's anti-Semitic.
[00:01:45]  Back to you, Steinberg.
[00:01:47]  People say we control the world.
[00:01:48]  What they don't realize is we actually do.
[00:01:50]  Well, there you have it.
[00:01:51]  Noticing is antiseptic, folks.
[00:01:53]  Back to you, John.
[00:01:54]  Crazy conspiracy theorist.
[00:01:56]  They'll believe anything these days, right?
[00:01:58]  If only JFK kissed the wall, he'd still be here.
[00:02:00]  Don't get us canceled now.
[00:02:01]  Let's see what's going on in Hollywood.
[00:02:03]  So what's the goal behind this film?
[00:02:04]  To push Satan, normalize gender confusion, and celebrate sin.
[00:02:07]  The younger they learn, the better.
[00:02:08]  Stunning and brave.
[00:02:09]  Back to you, Erica.
[00:02:11]  Truly inspiring stuff, Shapiro Steen.
[00:02:13]  My executive producers just told me to share the real reason for society's downfall.
[00:02:18]  Take a look at this.
[00:02:19]  This is the real problem.
[00:02:20]  Too much joy, too much tradition.
[00:02:23]  We'll fix that, have one pride flag and fractured home at a time.
[00:02:26]  Well, you folks sure know how to dance, almost like you knew the towers would fall.
[00:02:30]  Oops, I'm probably fired for that one.
[00:02:33]  Tell them the rest, Vanessa.
[00:02:34]  Remember when Silverstein bought terror coverage six weeks before the towers fell, then got the largest payout in history?
[00:02:40]  We're definitely getting fired.
[00:02:41]  But hey, now you know.
[00:02:42]  Breaking news, it turns out that the people carpet bombing the innocent are actually the good guys.
[00:02:47]  Just kidding, that would be retarded.
[00:02:48]  Let's go live to Steinberg.
[00:02:50]  So you're saying they have weapons of mass destruction again?
[00:02:53]  Exactly.
[00:02:53]  It's the same excuse we've used since the towers fell.
[00:02:56]  Not much has changed.
[00:02:58]  Here's what we're going to do.
[00:02:59]  We're going to get PTSD from hurting the innocent.
[00:03:01]  Then we die for the chosen people.
[00:03:03]  Let's go.
[00:03:04]  We shouldn't be here.
[00:03:06]  This non-chosen sand person lost his home and family just hours ago.
[00:03:09]  But Israeli military officials say this is God's plan and questioning it is antiseptic.
[00:03:13]  Please stop!
[00:03:13]  I hear they're building a new restaurant in Tel Aviv.
[00:03:16]  The chef prepares an amazing foreskin salad.
[00:03:19]  This is where I will cook my foreskins.
[00:03:23]  Imported directly from the Adrenochrome factory.
[00:03:26]  I've never tried the foreskin salad.
[00:03:28]  Sounds satanic.
[00:03:29]  Right.
[00:03:30]  Probably part of their Talmudic beliefs.
[00:03:32]  Right.
[00:03:32]  Shapiro Stein.
[00:03:34]  I missed 2001 back when we all blamed the same people.
[00:03:37]  Today, everybody notices.
[00:03:39]  This is why we do false flags.
[00:03:40]  We go live to the dancing Israelis.
[00:03:42]  These people really know how to dance, but the real dancers are on the roof.
[00:03:46]  We're following these guys up to the top floor.
[00:03:48]  No clue what's going on, but they're moving fast.
[00:03:52]  Yo, check this out.
[00:03:53]  We are God's chosen people.
[00:03:58]  Breaking news out of Times Square.
[00:04:00]  Officials say they found a Muslim passport in the debris.
[00:04:03]  It was the Jews.
[00:04:04]  Sir, are you okay?
[00:04:07]  I'm sending my son off to Iran tonight.
[00:04:10]  You saw it from your apartment?
[00:04:11]  Yeah.
[00:04:12]  Right over there.
[00:04:12]  They were just dancing.
[00:04:14]  It didn't look right.
[00:04:16]  Wow.
[00:04:17]  We better go fund that.
[00:04:19]  Right?
[00:04:19]  It feels good to personally fund the most grotesque acts of violence.
[00:04:23]  Back to you, Dennis.
[00:04:24]  Anyways, follow my boy, Jake GTV, if you're not retarded.
[00:04:29]  Breaking news, George Zoros is funding the new Ice Fest.
[00:04:33]  Okay, that's exciting.
[00:04:35]  We go live to the propaganda.
[00:04:37]  Sir, what exactly are you protesting here today?
[00:04:40]  I don't even know why we're yelling, but I think chaos is good.
[00:04:44]  What's wrong?
[00:04:44]  I watched the news.
[00:04:45]  It said people are being taken from their homes.
[00:04:47]  Do you know anyone personally affected?
[00:04:48]  No, but my friend's, uncle's, distant cousin's friend.
[00:04:51]  We're here to get impressionable youth to come cause chaos.
[00:04:54]  Why are you out here today?
[00:04:55]  They're taking people from their homes.
[00:04:56]  Where'd you see that?
[00:04:57]  The news.
[00:04:58]  Go watch the news.
[00:04:59]  We are the resistance.
[00:05:00]  The news said so.
[00:05:00]  Grab a rock.
[00:05:02]  Good thing there's pallets of bricks and a conveniently placed pile just dropped off for protesters.
[00:05:08]  Here's the thing about people being illegal.
[00:05:10]  Illegal should be legal.
[00:05:11]  We don't need laws.
[00:05:12]  What's good, Foo?
[00:05:13]  You want to catch a fade?
[00:05:14]  I'll mess you up right now.
[00:05:16]  How fun.
[00:05:16]  Reminds me of the Floyd Fest.
[00:05:18]  Perfect distraction while the so-called Semites cause unrest in the Middle East.
[00:05:22]  Right.
[00:05:22]  More propaganda.
[00:05:24]  Good one, John.
[00:05:25]  Shut it down or I'll shut it down.
[00:05:27]  In other news, we were promised this land thousands of years ago.
[00:05:30]  Bergstein, take it away.
[00:05:32]  Thanks, Deinowitz.
[00:05:33]  Remember, people, they are the bad guys.
[00:05:35]  Trust me.
[00:05:38]  These people are an absolute cancer.
[00:05:40]  Truly going to be the end of the human species.
[00:05:41]  That's anti-Semitic.
[00:05:42]  Brittany, you better watch your tone.
[00:05:43]  Oh, yeah, I almost forgot they fund the news.
[00:05:45]  Exactly.
[00:05:45]  Back to you, Dennis.
[00:05:46]  You guys make a good point, bit out.
[00:05:48]  My producers tell me to distract people with chaos so they don't notice who's actually starting World War III.
[00:05:53]  Why are you out here today?
[00:05:54]  Because if you come here illegally, you deserve to be here.
[00:05:57]  Like, illegal activities shouldn't even be illegal, dog.
[00:06:01]  Well, this is a perfect way for the government to unleash martial law.
[00:06:04]  Get ready for FEMA camps, folks.
[00:06:06]  Dennis, take it away.
[00:06:08]  In other news, if you haven't followed Jake GTV yet, you might be a total loser.
[00:06:12]  Certainly not based.
[00:06:14]  Most likely, retarded.
[00:06:15]  It's June.
[00:06:16]  Pride Month.
[00:06:17]  It's also Men's Mental Health Month.
[00:06:18]  But no better time than now to let your junk hang out at the parade.
[00:06:21]  Jackie joins us live at the Pride Fest.
[00:06:23]  We're here live at Identity Fest, where sausage parties meet Scissor Central.
[00:06:27]  Today I'm a Pan-Dimensional Soul Fox identifying as a pansexual.
[00:06:30]  Stunning and brave.
[00:06:30]  Back to you, Erica.
[00:06:31]  What a powerful way to honor men's mental health month by not mentioning men at all.
[00:06:36]  That's right, Erica.
[00:06:37]  In other news, parents who don't give their kids puberty blockers are going to jail.
[00:06:41]  We go live to Tammy reporting from the front lines of mental illness.
[00:06:44]  We're here with a parent who listened to the Jewish community.
[00:06:47]  What inspired this journey?
[00:06:49]  He said he wants to be a girl.
[00:06:51]  That's so courageous.
[00:06:52]  Wow.
[00:06:53]  That's not gross at all.
[00:06:56]  No, it's really not.
[00:06:57]  And now for the weather.
[00:07:00]  Artificial clouds forming over the Pacific, heavy aluminum particulates incoming with scattered bursts of direct energy interference.
[00:07:06]  Could be another Lahaina.
[00:07:07]  Stay alert.
[00:07:08]  Wow, climate change is wild today.
[00:07:11]  Good thing Newscomb emptied the water reservoirs.
[00:07:13]  Wouldn't want people putting these fires out.
[00:07:15]  Come back to Jake GTV News.
[00:07:17]  average american can't figure out why they feel like absolute trash we go live to a triple boosted science truster who says It's just genetic?
[00:07:24]  Yeah.
[00:07:25]  Literally, I never eat red meat.
[00:07:26]  I switched to seed oils only because, duh, health.
[00:07:29]  And here I am.
[00:07:29]  We're here with a man who's just glowing from head to toe.
[00:07:32]  Sir, what's your secret to your health?
[00:07:33]  Statins and blood pressure meds.
[00:07:35]  Hold up.
[00:07:35]  I'm about to have a heart attack.
[00:07:37]  What's your secret?
[00:07:39]  Just avoid the sun.
[00:07:40]  I have skin cancer.
[00:07:42]  That's why I do this.
[00:07:43]  Good thing they listen to their doctors.
[00:07:45]  Not much more they can actually do.
[00:07:46]  True.
[00:07:47]  Let's thank Big Pharma for being the main source of funding of all of our propaganda.
[00:07:51]  Sponsored by Pfizer, the largest criminal organization to ever do it.
[00:07:57]  We promised to take the red dye out of the Skittles.
[00:08:00]  Oh, thank God.
[00:08:01]  Red dye was the real emergency.
[00:08:02]  Let's not talk about the other colors, the fluoride, the chemtrails, and the deadly mRNA altering our DNA.
[00:08:07]  Back to you, Jenny.
[00:08:08]  Thanks, John.
[00:08:09]  We're here at the local 7-Eleven and want you focusing on what's in the candy.
[00:08:12]  And this way, you won't notice the rising autism and heart disease in children.
[00:08:16]  Well, autism in child heart disease isn't that big of a deal.
[00:08:18]  It's not like the jab causes turbo cancer or anything.
[00:08:21]  Jessica goes live to find out how to prevent it.
[00:08:24]  How are we going to prevent cancer?
[00:08:27]  Do you know how much commission I make off chemo treatment?
[00:08:30]  Next question.
[00:08:31]  What's the best way to stay healthy in today's world?
[00:08:33]  The key to getting healthy is lowering your cholesterol.
[00:08:36]  Trust me, I'm a doctor.
[00:08:37]  Look, just trust your fat doctor.
[00:08:39]  He once watched a one-hour lecture on nutrition.
[00:08:42]  Hate Kanye.
[00:08:43]  Love communism.
[00:08:44]  Get vaccinated.
[00:08:45]  Doubt is dangerous.
[00:08:46]  Obedience is strength.
[00:08:48]  Erica, back to you.
[00:08:50]  We're here at the Children's Hospital Torbla, and we still don't know what causes cancer or autism.
[00:08:57]  Thanks, Jackie.
[00:08:58]  If only we knew what was causing everyone to get so sick.
[00:09:01]  In Other NewsWet, trans women are women, and I just got vaccinated.
[00:09:05]  Hey, nothing to see here.
[00:09:07]  Anyway, make sure to get your flu shot and stop being anti-Semitic.
[00:09:11]  Doctors are smarter than you.
[00:09:12]  Breaking news, asking questions might be an early symptom of anti-Semitism and being extremely basic.
[00:09:17]  How fun.
[00:09:18]  Right?
[00:09:19]  Dennis, take it away.
[00:09:20]  Last time I noticed, I almost got JFK'd, if you know what I'm talking about.
[00:09:23]  Those people are making society fake and gay.
[00:09:25]  We go live with a homosexual at the bop house.
[00:09:28]  How does it feel to listen to the Jewish community?
[00:09:30]  I'll never have a real relationship.
[00:09:31]  Self-love, baby.
[00:09:32]  Love it.
[00:09:33]  We go live to the founders of OnlyFans.
[00:09:36]  Just because we founded OnlyFans, Tinder, and all the major corn sites, Hollywood, Epstein, whatever, were good people.
[00:09:43]  Everything they said about us.
[00:09:45]  Yeah, it's true.
[00:09:45]  Yeah, it's true.
[00:09:46]  Tunnels, 9-11, surveillance.
[00:09:50]  According to the Talmud, Jesus is burning in feces.
[00:09:58]  Wow.
[00:09:58]  That's not satanic at all.
[00:09:59]  Later tonight, we reveal the entire Epstein list.
[00:10:02]  Bert, take it away.
[00:10:03]  Imagine siding with Jesus' murderers and calling yourself Judeo-Christian, right?
[00:10:08]  Not me.
[00:10:09]  It's almost like their father is the devil or something.
[00:10:13]  My grandparents were in the Pizza Cost.
[00:10:15]  Shut it down.
[00:10:16]  We're live.
[00:10:17]  Nobody said you weren't good people individually, but you know you guys don't belong in a healthy society.
[00:10:23]  Just ask the rabbis.
[00:10:24]  One of my favorite verses, a Jew can violate but not marry a non-Jew.
[00:10:30]  That's Gadshas 2.2.
[00:10:31]  That's a fun one.
[00:10:32]  Tospoth Yebimoth, 98A.
[00:10:36]  If you eat with a Gentile, it is as if you have eaten with a dog.
[00:10:40]  Here's a good one.
[00:10:42]  Babakama 113A.
[00:10:44]  Jews may use lies to circumvent a Gentile.
[00:10:48]  We may have done the whole Epstein thing, but I don't want to teach that because it would be antiseptic, you know?
[00:10:52]  I'd rather teach them about the pizza cost and victimhood.
[00:10:54]  Our producers just informed me that we can't release the Epstein files in fear of a rise in anti-Semitism.
[00:11:00]  They're always the good guys and such victims, right, Randy?
[00:11:02]  Correct, Ching Chong, but my name is Randestein.
[00:11:05]  Well, that makes sense why they're always changing their last names.
[00:11:08]  Wouldn't want us to know who funds the wars and open borders.
[00:11:11]  Funny, we still call them our ally.
[00:11:13]  Good point, Todd.
[00:11:14]  Normally, ally means friend, but in this case, it means the synagogue of Satan.
[00:11:19]  Thanks, Jackie.
[00:11:19]  And it turns out, if you haven't followed Jake GTV yet, you're probably a total loser.
[00:11:24]  Certainly not based.