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Oct. 9, 2024 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:08
20241009_10_09_2024_TJDS_Podcast_-_10824_2.23PM
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Hey, come see us do stand-up comedy in Tempe, Arizona, Columbus, Ohio, Dayton, Cincinnati, Lexington, Burbank, and Honolulu.
Go to JimmyGo.com for a link for tickets.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, this is Governor Tim Walsh of the great state of Minnesota.
How the hell are you?
Oh, hi, Governor.
We were just talking about your debate opponent last night.
I know I heard.
And I'll be a deep-fried scotch egg at the Minnesota State Fair before I let him be the only guy from that debate to talk to my good friend Jimmy today.
Yeah, thank you, Governor.
That means a lot.
Hey, we got Senator Vance's take on last night's debate.
How'd you think it went?
Jimmy, in a word, wow.
I honestly thought it was a really constructive, thought-provoking conversation.
Exactly the kind we should be having in this country.
It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time, going up with no notes, no audience, no fact-checking.
It was terrifying having no fact-checking.
Well, yeah, the other guy was sure to tell some tall tales.
I mean, we all knew that was going to happen.
So it was up to me to point out that what he was saying was wrong.
Just wrong, Jimmy.
So you weren't worried about getting fact-checked yourself then?
Well, no, of course not.
I'm a straight shooter.
Well, a large chunk of the debate last night centered on how you had claimed you were in Hong Kong during the Tiananmen Square massacre in 1989 when it turns out you were in fact not.
Was that shooting straight?
Look, Jimmy, I was born.
I was abandoned when I was a baby.
The loving couple who raised me found me alone in a field in Nebraska alongside a rural road.
They wouldn't have even seen me had they not pulled over to fix a flat tire.
But they saw me in some sort of pod, just thinking I was a poor abandoned baby.
But then imagine their astonishment when I, just a little baby, was able to lift the car up to help my new daddy change tire.
Oh, no, I'm lying again.
Yes, Governor, that's from the Superman movie.
Okay, that's exactly what that's exactly what I'm talking about here.
When you talk publicly as much as I do, you're going to get some things wrong.
Make some mistakes.
And I've been more than clear.
I can sometimes be a knucklehead.
Hehehehe.
you.
you Thank you.
You just literally claim to be Superman.
That's not being a knucklehead.
I wasn't really claiming that.
Jimmy, I start talking, and sometimes words just fall out like books on a shelf that got pushed over.
I can't control them, Jimmy.
I can't control the words.
Well, I'm sorry, Governor.
I just find this a really bizarre excuse.
It's really hard to swallow.
Okay, you want me to level with you, be a straight shooter?
That's all I want.
Okay, well, let's unpack this.
Okay, so I was stationed in Hong Kong after the Tiananmen Square thing, not during.
But I never claimed to be at Tiananmen Square or even in Beijing.
Either way, obviously, I watched that happen on TV just like everyone else.
So basically, this is about where I thought in my memory I was when I saw something in TV in 1989.
Essentially, yes.
Okay, so the truth is, I misremembered.
My brain created a false memory of watching it in Hong Kong instead of at home.
The human brain does that.
And I think most people understand.
Fine.
I agree.
Then why not just say I forgot and made a mistake?
It was a long time ago.
Jimmy, I'm a proud veteran.
It's an honor for me to be able to say that I served my country.
For the love of God, Senator, just to answer the question.
Okay, see what I did there?
Yeah.
I took your question and I turned it around on you by reminding everyone that I was kind of sort of in the army already.
I've taken control of the situation by acting like a humble public servant.
And to answer your question, Jimmy, saying that I simply forgot is actually a bad strategy.
How is telling the truth a bad strategy?
Okay, so let's so I say I just forgot.
People say, all right, that makes sense.
I get it.
So, you know, you know, I was being honest, and people believed it.
Seems like a good thing, right?
No, my friend.
Because if I then get caught in an actual lie about the past, some absolute straight-up bullshit that I made up for self-aggrandizing reasons, what am I going to say?
Oh, I just forgot that, too.
That was also a forgetting.
Right, right, right.
You see, because it will get to a point where people will see, well, how forgetful is this guy?
Is his brain okay?
Because there's a lot of lies, Jimmy.
There's lots of stuff.
Wow.
So, Jimmy, what I have to do is I have to take lies and also things that I just legitimately forgot and put them both under this big umbrella of I'm a knucklehead.
5% of the things we say aren't true.
And if you say as many things as I do, there's going to be a lot of untrue things.
As if that shouldn't make people want to throw rotten fruit at my face.
Man, you really have this figured out, don't you?
You've been waiting for this forever, haven't you?
Oh, you better believe it.
I know guys like you.
You know exactly what you're doing.
Oh, shucks.
Jeez, Jimmy.
I really appreciate that.
I really do.
And you know what?
Dick, this has been a real constructive conversation.
You can take your awesome shucks act somewhere else, sir.
Oh, I will.
Believe you me, I'm going to take this awesome shucks act right to the White House.
Yep.
And when Kamala, my amazing girl boss, gets impeached for being a bozo, they won't have to hesitate because of who is vice president.
It's just good old VP Walsh.
He's actually trusted by both sides of the aisle.
See?
Isn't that a nice vision of the future that all Americans can get behind.
Okay, you're making me kind of sick.
I'm going to have to let you go.
Thanks for calling, Governor.
Hey, I'm just thankful for the opportunity.
At the end of the day, just run for the right here.
It's the American people who are driving the bus.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Establishment media sucks, all gaslighting, so good luck, bullshit we can't afford, he's fomenting this, whoa, watch and see as the jet go from medium speeds and jumps to medium and hits them head on, it's the Chimitor Show.
So So, Tone Deaf Knucklehead.
I would say worse words, but they demonetize me if I say bad things about Kamala Harris on YouTube.
I'm not kidding.
Don't say Dunderhead.
The vice.
She tweeted this out.
This is real.
On October 5th, what's today's date, the 7th?
She tweeted this out for real.
Well, Jimmy, in fairness, she has literally no idea what's going on anywhere.
Right.
And there's a lot of people who speculate that she's on some kind of pharmaceuticals.
Constantly.
Constantly.
Some people have said that it looks like she's on Xanax.
That's what some people have said.
Well, she needs to be on speed because she's not.
I know.
She should take a different one, but she's.
And radio transmission earrings, you could have all the great covert earrings in the world, but if you're on too much Xanax, it's not going to do you any good.
And can you bring me the cream?
Yeah.
For that.
The people of Lebanon are facing an increasing dire humanitarian situation.
I am concerned about the security and well-being of civilians suffering in Lebanon, and we'll continue working to help meet the needs of all civilians there.
Can you imagine being this tone deaf?
While there are people screaming in a third of the country in the United States after a hurricane, and that FEMA is nowhere to be found, she's tweeting about how she's concerned about people in another country.
I'm not concerned enough to make Israel not blow them up, by the way, but concerned enough to not help you.
So here's funding the destruction of the people in Lebanon, but now she's also going to fund the relief effort.
She says to that end, the United States will provide nearly $157 million in additional assistance.
How much money did they give to Lahana?
Lahaina.
Yeah, Lahaina.
Lehina.
There hasn't still been one house rebuilt in Lahanai.
Every city is going to be Lahained in America.
That's right.
People figure out that the government is not your, they don't care about you.
I mean, how many times can I tell you they're just not that into you?
They're like, book.
That's my book.
Your country's just not that into you.
So here she goes on.
They're going to give $157 million in assistance, additional assistance, on top of the assistance they've already given them, people in Lebanon, for essential needs, such as food, shelter, water, protection, and sanitation to help those who have been displaced by the recent conflict.
This additional support brings the total that they've given Lebanon to $385 million.
We have people living under every bridge in this country.
We have people in Lahanai, not one house rebuilt.
We have people wiped out in North Carolina.
What do you want to say?
Do you think the government would take some of that money from the fentanyl that they smuggle in to kill people and spend a little bit on the rest of us that aren't on fentanyl, wouldn't you?
Nah.
Here's what Brianna Joy Gray said.
She says, Americans are funding both the destruction of and the humanitarian aid to Lebanon.
This is like, remember when Steve-O on Jackass stapled his scrotum to his leg?
Yeah.
And it was funny because it's like, you're doing this to yourself.
Yes.
That's what this is.
We're Steve-O stapling our dick to our leg.
By the way, look at the ratio, Kurt.
She had 16,000 likes to 54,000.
That has got to be the most impressive ratio I've ever seen.
I can't.
Go ahead.
Just this last year, all the Democrats were talking about what a terrible candidate she is.
All of them were talking about how no one wants to work for her because she sucks.
And what a ridiculous, and they just can't get rid of her because she's black.
I mean, she's not even black.
That's all they talked about.
And then, like this, like if I was hypnotizing you and I go, when I snap my fingers, you're going to pretend, Kamala, it's about time she's the president.
And they all stepped in line and did it.
And I still don't believe those numbers.
Like, this was the numbers the whole time.
This ratio is.
This is her true popularity.
Yeah.
I don't believe half the people are paid.
We know that.
The white dudes for Harris are not, believe it or not, were getting paid to pee for Harris.
This is the real numbers.
30 million views.
She got 16,000 likes.
30 million views.
Yeah.
30.
If I get 16,000 likes, I get it off like 50,000 views.
She got it off of 30 million views.
16,000 people like it.
Everyone hates.
What's that?
I've been ratioed like that for jokes nobody liked, but I'm not ready for office.
54,000 to 16.
I don't know.
Not that many people are into her.
Most people have jobs being into her.
And yes.
It's industry plant.
And you know why?
It's because she pissed off.
She managed to do something that pissed off people on the left, people like Brianna Joy Gray, who's a she's voting green.
She's far leftist.
She's a leftist.
I wouldn't say far.
I would consider her.
Anyway, but she also pissed off Trumpers and people like Scott Ritter.
Scott Ritter says Israel is murdering Lebanese civilians using American bombs dropped from American planes.
You are literally too stupid to be commander-in-chief.
He got 29,000 likes.
I'm just 400,000 views.
Yeah.
He got twice as many likes as Kambala got with barely a fraction of the views.
Well, this is why Hillary wants us to suppress this finally.
And here's Jake Shield.
So now it's the left.
Here's the right.
Jake Shields says we send billions to Israel to bomb Lebanon, then millions to Lebanon to rebuild.
How does this make sense?
He got 54,000 likes.
Well, it's a valid question.
I would like to know how that makes sense.
Because fuck you, that's why.
That's right.
That's right.
Exactly.
Because fuck you.
Juanita Broderick, you are a tone-deaf moron.
Now, now you say this?
Really?
She got 26,000 likes off of less than half a million views.
She's like, that's the least presidential thing I've ever witnessed.
And you know what happened with me and Bill Clinton?
Yeah.
James Lee says, so let me get this straight.
We are arming Israel who is bombing Lebanon.
And then we are turning around and giving aid to Lebanon who is being bombed by Israel.
What kind of racket is this?
I mean, I think it's how our economy works generally, though.
Pretty sure.
That's your government.
That's the people.
And the people are proud.
I can't believe there's anybody proud to say they're voting my asshole ex-comedy friends in Hollywood, all those fucking shitlit morons.
They have the banner.
I know some of them have their banner on Twitter of Kamala Harris.
It used to be, it used to be Kamala Harris and Joe Biden.
Now it's Kamala Harris and Tim Waltz.
They're funding a genocide.
And you somehow want to pat yourself on the back that you're some kind of lefty?
You're a moron.
Wait, meanwhile, they got a whole cart in the back full of old COVID masks and BLM signs that they've been waiting for the city to take away.
Yes.
The people who told you.
Those are the people who told you to don't do your own research during COVID as you were being lied to on an astronomical scale about all things COVID.
Those are the same people.
Those are the same people who have their banner on their Twitter page, Kamala Harris and Tim Waltz.
Those are the same people.
The biggest fucking.
There's a guy who does a podcast called the smartest guy in the room.
He's the dumbest guy in the world.
Wait, it's called what?
The smartest guy in the room?
The Greg Proops podcast.
Greg Proups podcast is not called the most bisexual guy in the room.
It's called the smartest.
Okay.
I used to like that guy.
He lost his mind.
I used to like, I used to, I used to, he used to make me laugh.
They all lost their minds.
They all lost their minds.
No, not on that show.
But all they're in real life.
Your career is your whole thing, your career, achievements, of your career, which is everybody that I know for the last 20 years.
That's what kind of a hollowed out non-player character you are.
If you care about your, what you call, what you used to say, a craven careerist.
All these people are craven careerists.
And it's beyond all reason.
Like, after they get screwed over by the system, they'll get back into the dragon mouth, as Patrice used to call it.
They get shit out, and then they get back in the mouth of the beast to be chewed up again.
It's actually a great.
I mean, those are the types of people they actually do.
As they repeat lies from Big Pharma, as they repeat lies from the military-industrial complex about Ukraine and Syria, and now this.
Yeah, it's all electronic warfare was used on them, and they're under my control.
Yes.
And they think they're smarter than you.
They're smart.
It's one thing to say.
The beauty was always propaganda.
Everything was propaganda the whole time.
It didn't just become woke.
When it wasn't woke, it was also garbage propaganda that made you into a North Korean.
It's all garbage.
Every last part of it has been garbage the whole time.
And if you still think it's about that, you're like not seeing it.
But if you see it, you can't unsee it.
I'll tell you that.
I mean, I used to really like those people, my comedy friends in Hollywood.
I used to really enjoy their company.
They all lost their mind.
They became the dumbest version of themselves they possibly could.
Look, theater kids are weak.
Have we not gone to high school in this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, imagine these end, like, that's why a lot of great actors are the dumbest.
Like De Niro, perfect example.
They're so afraid to question authority.
They're comedians who are afraid to question authority.
Oh, no, my authority that I subscribe to is right and good.
And I should never.
They don't question.
They're going along with this.
They're going along with this.
Yeah.
Well, why do you think they get passed around to ditty parties and shit?
How do you think that works?
If you're a whore, naturally, you're going to act like a whore.
I mean, I can't get your friends or whores.
She listens for whores.
It's just, I can't.
I don't know if I, I don't know.
It's going to take a while for you to get over it.
Like how dumb these people can be.
I consider myself a high-class call girl, you know, even though I've been out on the street a little bit.
I'm a little rough looking, but Tim Duncan liked it.
Wall Street Silver says, do you really think anyone cares about aid to Lebanon right now?
North Carolina, Georgia, and Florida should be your only priority.
He got 23,000 likes and less than half a million views.
Colin Ruggs says, you are purposely spitting in the faces of Americans in North Carolina.
You're going to lose so badly in a month.
Interesting strategy, Cotton.
Let's see where it comes.
That's all I can think of is the dodgeball meme.
What is it?
I mean, Kurt, do you run into people?
Do you run into comedians?
You have to.
Yeah.
Run in comedians who are proud to be Kamala Harris supporters.
Do you run into them?
Okay, proud?
I don't think you would actually be probably playing a comedy club.
Proud, but definitely voters for Kamala.
And they're all what you would call back in the day when you were liberal, low-information voters.
But somehow, the Hillbillies and the Cosmopolitans have utterly switched places.
And the only reason why is the people that have to feel reality could tell you what reality is.
All these people, they live in an alternate universe that is based on like just nonsense.
They have some conscious idea how bad it could be.
Like they're aware how bad it is, but they don't want to go there.
You understand?
Like a kid in a Mengele cage.
I love you.
I love you not.
They know they don't want to be in that I love you not cage.
And that's all it is.
And it's that weak.
And they've never, I just thought, like, if you have a certain level of intelligence, you know, I was like, oh, I'm going to be in showbiz.
I had those ideas.
And then a certain age, don't you kind of see how it works?
And you're like, all right, is that what I really want?
Yeah, no, they want the most, I don't know, whenever they, what age they got molested dreams, they want that.
That's how I put it.
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This always gets people excited.
So they did a poll, and 58% of Americans say we should get rid of the Electoral College.
And of course we should.
Yeah.
Just like we should get rid of the Senate.
We should get rid of why.
Why should Vermont, a state with a little over 600,000 people, get just as much power in a legislative body as a state like Texas, which has 29 million people?
Because they're richer?
Just as many, just as many senators come from Texas as come from Vermont.
29 million people, not even a million people.
They get just as much power.
That doesn't make sense.
There's no way you can ever make that.
That's because you think it's a democracy.
This is a tightly controlled oligarchy with a forward-facing republic.
So we live in a representational republic, which is a form of democracy.
We don't vote directly on all the laws.
We elect people to then vote for them.
So it is a type of democracy.
It is a representative republic.
And what it's not mob rule because that's why you have a constitution, because the constitution then protects the rights of the minority against the mob.
That's why it's not just a pure democracy.
Otherwise, it would be mob rule.
Well, it's not.
We have a representative republic.
So according to, so 60, almost 6 out of 10 Americans want to get rid of it.
And here's what I said.
I'm always amazed at how many people want more than one vote per person because that's what that is.
If you're for the Electoral College, you're forgiving votes to land mass.
39% of Americans, they fear they wouldn't like the outcome if everyone's vote counted the same.
So they like a system that gives some people more votes and some people less votes.
That's what the Electoral College does.
There are a handful of independent voters in a handful of states called swing states that end up choosing our president every four years, which is why the presidential candidates don't campaign everywhere.
They don't campaign in California or Texas or Vermont or Wyoming.
There's only a handful of states, Pennsylvania being one of them, that they actually campaign in.
And there's only a handful of those people in those states that decide the election of the president.
It's the most undemocratic, anti-liberty thing you can think of.
But some people have been brainwashed into thinking this.
I'm going to show you the people, their arguments.
They're all horrible.
Politicians don't even bother campaigning where most of the people in the country live.
They campaign primarily in a handful of states trying to appeal to a small number of independent/slash undecided voters.
There are no shortage of arguments to keep the Electoral College, each one of those arguments worse than the next.
But the real reason the 38 or 9% want to keep the Electoral College is that they don't like everyone having equal input and equal say in the outcome of the presidential election.
And they want to tilt the playing field in their advantage.
No matter what they say, that's the real reason.
And it's anti-democratic and wrong.
So here's some of the, here's some of the arguments against me.
And it's, I will never be ruled by coastal elites.
Why would you be ruled by coastal elites?
Everybody gets to vote.
There's 29 million people in Texas.
They get to vote.
Everybody in Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, they also get to vote.
Most presidential elections are decided by a couple percentage points of votes.
So the votes, so if you didn't campaign in small states, you'd be doing yourself a disservice because most of those elections are swung by a small percentage of votes.
So every vote would actually count.
You'd have more of a chance of presidential candidates campaigning in small states if we didn't have the Electoral College than because now they don't go there at all.
Is Michael Flynn General Flynn?
I think it might be.
Oh, he only wants to be ruled by his mind control handlers?
That's amazing.
I don't know if that's who that is.
Get rid of Electoral College and the USA is no more, says Astral Defense.
People in Midwest don't want to be told what to do by whack jobs in LA and New York City.
You are now.
You currently are now.
What do you, first of all, this is state elections?
It's the president.
Let me tell you, you are currently told what to do by a handful of billionaires.
That's the only people I'll tell you what to do.
Who then give all the money to the presidential candidates and they only go to a handful of states.
So you're currently told what to do, not by people in New York and LA, but by a handful of small town people in small states.
By the way, Wackjobs, your name is Astral Defense.
Uh...
This guy says the Electoral College is An archaic artifact from our country's founding, where there was a distrust of putting the election in the hands of the people.
That's exactly right.
They were afraid to give the vote too directly to the people.
So they wanted to have control.
The white landowners wanted to keep control.
They didn't want to let the unwashed everybody, people who didn't own land, people who weren't rich white guys, deciding who was president.
That was the whole point of the Electoral College.
Every other rationale and argument people have for the Electoral College is wrong.
You have made those arguments up after we have the Electoral College.
That's the real reason for the Electoral College.
Because what?
One time, Kevin McGuinness, I swear to God, he goes, Yeah, people, only landowners should vote.
He said that to me.
Like, aren't you from Canada?
Okay, so because of the ways the states eventually decided to bind the electors, it has resulted in a presidential election system that is vastly different from what the framers intended.
It was result that it has resulted in elections where the only campaigning is done in a small number of swing states.
It has given us election results where the winner did not get the votes of the majority of Americans and it should be abolished.
Here's the arguments against that.
No politician would ever campaign anywhere other than big cities in California, New York, Illinois without the Electoral College.
That makes absolutely no sense.
That argument never made sense.
It doesn't make sense since most presidential campaigns are decided on a few percentage points of the vote.
So it usually just a couple million.
So why wouldn't people campaign in Wyoming and Nebraska and Montana and Vermont?
Because you only need a few million.
Every vote counts.
That makes sure that every vote counts.
That's the difference.
So the Electoral College makes sure that most votes don't count.
Right now, those presidential candidates don't even go and campaign in California and New York.
They don't even campaign where most of the people live.
They don't even campaign there or Texas for that matter.
They don't even campaign there.
The other side is they don't want all the people that are dedicated party people, whatever your party is, they really don't want everyone voting.
You know, they don't, they want like that massive chunk that never votes because they think it doesn't count to stay like that.
That's right.
So if you're a Republican, so you're a Republican in California, you know, your vote doesn't count for president.
Right.
So I think it would increase people voting in California who aren't Republican if we got rid of the Electoral College.
If votes counted, more people would do it.
That's a fact.
That's right.
So this person says you're very ignorant about our country's founding.
The Electoral College was established to prevent majority rule over the minority.
It's meant to give equal power to each state.
No, it's meant to take away the voting power of individuals.
Because that's what it's like.
Rich people are a minority.
I don't know if you know the tiniest minority is rich people.
The tightest minorities.
What you're advocating for is true democracy, majority rule.
No, no.
What I'm advocating for is the popular vote deciding who our politicians are or who our middlemen.
That's right.
We don't have to.
That's what I'm advocating for.
I'm advocating for a constitutional republic that protects the rights of the minority.
Look, it's all theoretical.
You're arguing for a electoral system that gives more power to the minority than they deserve.
Okay.
Hang on.
What these ding-dongs do not understand is campaigning will change.
Currently, candidates target spending in battleground states.
If the electoral college disappears, campaign strategy changes.
People who do not vote in solid blue or red states will start voting.
That's exactly what I just said.
That's exactly right.
It's exactly right.
They would have as much voting power, but this, and then this guy says they would have as much voting power, but no real political power.
How is that different than now then?
First of all, nobody has political power now except oligarchs.
No president of the United States candidate is ever going to Wyoming or Vermont if we scrap the Electoral College.
They don't go there now.
They don't go there now.
If I was running, I would go to the places the other guy's not going to.
You know how Hillary lost that year when they thought she'd win because she didn't go to the police.
She didn't go to Williams.
She thought she had it.
That's right.
Even the Electoral College couldn't get this bitch elected.
In New York City or LA, a politician can be seen by 100,000 people and travel two miles and be seen by 100,000 more.
But would take days in Vermont or Wyoming to encounter that many people.
Also, if you use this logic, you got to get rid of the Senate, right?
Yeah, I'm all for getting rid of the Senate.
You know, by the way, this is all theoretical.
You know what would really affect it?
If you couldn't give huge chunks of money to the candidates and it was a system of running for office.
That's right.
And that would solve, I'll bet you could keep the Electoral College.
You just take where they can't get all that money out of it.
So I'm responding to the guy who says they would have as much voting power, but no real political power.
I said, if the difference in candidates is a few percentage points, then of course the votes in Wyoming, Montana, and Vermont would matter just as much as the votes anywhere else.
Again, this argument makes absolutely no sense.
The presidential candidates currently don't go to those states ever.
If every vote counted equally, there would be a greater likelihood.
I'm not saying they would, but there'd be a greater likelihood that they would go to those states because presidential races are usually tight and every vote would matter.
In the current system, every vote does not matter equally.
And that's why those states get ignored along with most of the states.
Yeah.
Oh, the current system has the presidential candidates ignoring most of the country.
Bravo.
You know, Jimmy, I used to make these stupid arguments about then New York and LA would rule the whatever.
And Coleman Hughes, a guy who was paid to go against what I said about Israel and Rogan show, actually made a great argument to me that changed my mind about it.
He goes, okay, well, everyone's not a whack job in all the states.
Like, because it's set up for just a few wealthy people who are whack jobs.
Oh, California is a whack job state.
No, the vast majority of people are not.
And when they tried to get rid of equal rights under the law in California, if you recall, all the blacks and Puerto Ricans that Republicans would think would go with equity bullshit did not.
They said, no, we like equality.
So it's this thing of like the masses are so stupid and they shouldn't have any power that all these people deeply believe in.
And it's just not true.
It's actually the people that you think the landowners, they're the whack jobs.
Most people are not insane.
So Tony V says, I agree with you on a lot of things, sir, but I'm not with you on this.
Keep the Electoral College because I don't want California to decide what's happening in Texas.
Oh, you can hear the parrot talk.
Your state is one of 50.
That's how this works.
Okay, I said it again.
Why would California decide what's happening in Texas?
People in every state would get equal input into choosing the president.
The presidential races are usually divided by a few percent of the vote.
So why wouldn't Texas votes count?
This argument is very popular, but it never made any sense to me.
Right now in Texas, where I live, there's all these illegal immigrants pouring over the border.
So we already have where California decides what Texas does.
What are you talking about?
What I go on to say: if the popular vote is 51 to 49%, then why wouldn't the 2% winning percentage come from small cities in small states?
People in small cities would have just as much voting power as a person in a big city.
If a politician wins the presidency by 2% of the vote, then why would you think the people in small cities didn't push that candidate to victory?
That doesn't make any sense.
Again, these arguments, I know they sound like they make sense, but they don't make any sense.
No, they're just parrot words.
And it's the same as people.
That's Putin propaganda.
That's the biggest.
And what it is, it's because they think it gives power to small states that are less popular.
And it does.
And they think that their politics agrees with small states.
So they want to have more power for who they think is voting.
I got news for you.
Coastal elites are, what do you think?
We have 20 ugly, like LGBTQ flags with Ukraine on them because they don't control things.
What are you talking about?
Right now, the things you're mad about are because it's exactly the way you think it would happen if we had actual democracy.
Okay, so I know there'll be lots of disagreement, vehement disagreement in the chat on this.
I get a lot of pushback on Twitter, although I, although I, and I was almost sure I was going to get ratioed, but I did not.
I did not get ratioed.
So that's good to hear.
Let me see.
It's purely based on your fear of the masses.
The idea that we should keep it.
And this is what I don't get.
People that are vote, like Trump populist MAGA people, they don't trust the masses.
You are the masses, asshole.
You're not higher above the other people that you think you're above.
You got to join with them or you're lost.
And you got no choice.
So if there's more people, so there's about, I don't know, 9 million people who live in New York City and about, I don't know, let's say 9 million people who live in California, live in Los Angeles, greater area.
That's 18 million people.
You know how many people there are in the country?
330 million people.
Most of them are.
So how could this LA and New York control the election?
We couldn't.
But they're looking at it from the paradigm of electoral college.
So they're like, oh, most people won't vote still.
They're not thinking it through.
There's over a million and a half people who live in Montana.
Why wouldn't they be the swing vote?
Again, it doesn't make sense.
Well, you have to hold to the myth that, you know, because we have to be all on one side either or, so you can't acknowledge that it's a bunch of white landowners making sure they're cool because that's too leftist or whatever the hell these people think.
Rather than looking at it honestly and understanding you're not in the upper class asshole.
You're with the black people and the brown people that maybe you think you're better than and vote crazy, but those people don't vote as crazy as rich people.
Rich people are the ones who are into all the social engineering.
It ain't black people.
It ain't Puerto Ricans.
It's only the richest people that are into the stuff you hate.
All the other people are on your side, and you got to get over your little, whatever you were trained where you look down on them and just get over it.
Get the fuck over it.
Start looking up.
That's all you got to do is look up at the people.
The Electoral College gives everybody more power.
It gives us all equal power.
It would make politics.
What did I say?
The Electoral College does not give us all.
No, no, getting rid of it, I mean.
Yes, getting rid of it.
Yes.
It would force politicians to campaign other places than what they do now.
Again, now you have a tiny handful of people in a tiny handful of states, and they're the only ones who matter.
It doesn't matter if you're a Republican in California, your vote doesn't count at all.
You might as well recycle.
It doesn't count at all.
Yeah, you might as well recycle.
It doesn't count.
It counts about as much as recycling.
Yeah.
Oh, but I'm afraid that it would go to a thing because I've been trained to hate all these other people and imagine that the entire state of California, not just rich psychopaths, are into all this weird stuff that I don't like.
But really, most people don't like this stuff.
That's why you want to have a popular vote.
And here's what's going to happen.
There's millions and millions and millions of Republicans in California.
There's millions and millions and millions of Republicans who live in California.
Their votes don't count.
Hey, even illegal immigrants, even though they got flown here by Biden with an app personally, they don't like this bullshit that you don't like.
No one likes the shit that you're mad at and you're transposing it onto the election.
You're not thinking clearly.
This came from rich assholes.
And I know we have to, I hate communism like a good American, but just keep in mind, everything that's the opposite of what an oligarch wants is not automatically communism.
They're not your friend.
And it's not punishing success.
You're punishing people that suck, that are destroying life for the majority of people that live here.
Yeah, wokeism comes from the top down, not from the bottom up.
That wasn't from poor people.
It wasn't from Haitian fat-eating immigrants.
It came from very rich people.
And most of the people in California are workers who work their ass off every day.
So here is Trump.
Michael Tracy tweets out very sarcastically.
He says, Trump says Israel should hit Iran's nuclear facilities.
By the way, Michael Tracy's doing these interviews after debates and things for Greenwood.
It is hilarious.
Anyway, you got to see them.
They're great.
Trump says Israel should hit Iran's nuclear facilities because he doesn't play by any of the rules you're supposed to as a journalist.
Michael Tracy just kind of is a bullet of China shop.
It's hilarious.
Trump says Israel should hit Iran's nuclear facilities.
Yet another bold anti-war statement on his part, a terrifying blow to the deep state and military-industrial complex.
There's not one deep state.
There's a bunch of factions.
So one faction likes Trump and the other one doesn't.
But both of them help out Israel.
So here he is saying it.
They asked him, what do you think about what do you think about Iran?
Would you hit Iran?
And he goes, as long as they don't hit the nuclear stuff.
That's the thing you want to hit, right?
I said, I think he's got that one wrong.
Isn't that what you're supposed to hit?
I mean, it's the biggest risk we have.
Nuclear weapons, the power of nuclear weapons, the power of weaponry.
You know, I rebuilt the entire military, jets, everything.
I built it, including nuclear.
And I hated to build the nuclear, but I got to know firsthand the power of that stuff.
And I'll tell you what, we have to be totally prepared.
We have to be absolutely prepared.
But when they asked him that question, the answer should have been, hit the nuclear first and worry about the rest later.
And that's why they should.
If they're going to do it, if they're going to do it, they're going to do it.
But we'll find out whatever their plans are.
But great question.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you, Austin.
We can't just use the hurricane machine.
So just to let you know, bipartisanship is not dead.
Here's Tim Waltz saying that he also wants to bomb the shit out of Iran.
You ready?
Okay, so I want to pick up where Alexis left off there in the Middle East, because you were asked in the debate the other night a question about whether or not you would support a preemptive strike by Israel on Iran.
You didn't really get to an answer on that.
So this administration continues to call for Israel to moderate its response after being attacked by Iran.
Do you now think that Israel has a right to either strike oil facilities, nuclear facilities?
What's your position on that?
Well, look, let's remember how this started, and we're approaching tomorrow.
Is he going to mention the NACBA in 1947 when they gave land to the Zionists that didn't belong to them and displaced 750,000 Palestinians and slaughtered the rest?
Is he going to talk?
Is that how it started?
Or does he start it last year?
Let's see.
Can you guess?
I think the answer may surprise you.
Or will it?
I'm going to make my Tim Waltz face while he does it.
Okay, here we go.
Hamas terrorists murdered over 1,200 innocent Israelis.
Oh, so he started it last year.
That's how this all started, did it?
It didn't start with an occupation that everybody says is illegal.
It didn't start with an apartheid state that every human rights organization in Greece is an apartheid state.
It didn't start with the mowing the lawn.
I mean, the slaughtering of that really?
Okay.
Simmy, look, it's a big white guy taco night.
It tastes like shit, but we got to take a bite.
36 Americans took hostages.
We have been clear.
Israel has the right to defend itself.
We've always stood in that position.
We need the hostages returned, and we need to bring an end to the humanitarian crisis in Gaza.
But again, the point is that it's Iran is at the heart of this and their proxies that bring disruption.
Is Iran at the heart of this?
You know who's at the heart of this?
It's the United States economic hitmen.
Why do you think Iran is a religious theocracy?
It used to be a secular democracy.
And then guess what?
The United States did.
The CIA overthrew their secular democracy.
And the government they have now is called Blowback.
So of course, they pushed them into a religious theocracy.
They had a democracy and a democratically elected president, Mossadegh.
And guess what we did?
The CIA overthrew him.
Why?
Because we wanted to steal his oil.
And we did.
We then installed a puppet called the Shah, who was an oppressive leader.
And then people reacted to that.
And the blowback from that is that we get the Ayatollah and you get a theocracy.
We're the ones who did that.
We're responsible for the way Iran is.
Who is we?
The United States military and our deep state economic hitmen.
Just like every country, just like Libya, just like Syria, just like Afghanistan, just like Ukraine.
We're the ones who did all the Iraq.
What do you want to say, Kirk?
Okay, I just want to point out one thing.
Yeah, we did that, but that was with MI6.
We didn't even get, that wasn't even for us to get the oil.
That was for England.
We did that to help England get their oil.
That's right.
Like, we're not even getting anything for this shit, except misery.
And throughout the region, that's why being in the situation room as a vice president was working with Israelis to repel the attack we saw this week.
They tried it back in April, the same thing.
And that's the point of being and boxing Iran in.
President Trump tore up the nuclear deal that moved Iran closer to a nuclear weapon.
He also allowed.
Do they have a nuclear weapon?
The word is nuclear.
So people like him on purpose mispronounce it to sound folksy.
Nuclear.
It's nuclear.
The guy that changes an air filter on a car.
So it says nuclear.
You know, Jimmy, I just want to add here.
I asked.
Iran doesn't have a nuclear bomb.
I asked, do any Middle Eastern countries have a nuclear weapon?
You know who does?
Israel has a nuclear bomb.
Yeah, and I stole it from France, and the guy that ratted out Israel illegally stealing that, Israel keeps him under house arrest.
And he's like a Julian Assange figure who told the truth, and Israel tortures him forever.
Are we all put down?
I don't know if he could say they have nukes, could he?
An American aircraft in international airspace with a tweet.
And when Iranian weapons.
So what everything Tim Waltz is saying is Trump didn't start enough war in the Middle East.
That's what he's saying.
He's saying he should have already gone to war with Iran.
That's what he's saying right now.
Do you understand your choices in this election are someone who wants to start a war in the Middle East and someone who is currently starting a war in the Middle East?
Those are your choices.
Someone who wants to bomb Iran, someone who's currently funneling weapons to bomb Lebanon and Iran and Gaza and Yemen and Ukraine and Syria and wherever else they want to do it.
You remember when Jon Stewart made that movie about the guy, the journalist got captured in Iran and they held him.
It's called Rosewater.
No.
The guard.
It was Jon Stewart's big project after the Daily Show.
And it's about this Daily Show had done a segment about how Iran's not that crazy.
And then the guy they talked to got arrested because they thought he was spying.
Some nonsense.
The point is, the guy was arrested for a couple of months.
Julius Sange, how long was that guy in prison with no charges?
Iran's nicer than your country.
Fell on U.S. troops.
He called it a headache when it was traumatic brain injury.
Just to be clear, we have always said we reserve the right to protect American troops, our allies in the region, and that there is consequences for Iran.
So what you're seeing right now is the ability to work with our allies, the ability to make sure Iran does not further, and every administration has dealt with them for 45 years.
Now it's to make sure, and there has never been a question, Israel has the right to defend itself, and we stand with them to do that.
But we need to bring this to a conclusion.
Does that include a strike on Iran's nuclear or oil facilities?
Specific operations will be dealt with at the time, but being very clear on this, Iran, where's consequences for what they do.
That's what's happening right now.
Israel's right to defend itself is not in question.
Where's the consequences for what we do?
Where's the consequences for what Israel does?
Where are those consequences?
Paid for you to get attacked, not Iran.
It was Enyahu.
Defend yourself against Enyahu, dipshits.
This is crazy.
Well, this is just blather.
I mean, honestly.
What is the consequences of Trump are blathering and whatever they would do?
They're all warmongers.
They're all.
So Trump wants to end the war in Ukraine, but they're super hot on getting one going with Iran.
Precious Israel.
Beautiful.
Our precious Israel.
Anyway, it's.
I believe in Israel's right to choose.
The only hope you have, you know, because if Kamala Harris becomes president, there's going to be World War III in the Middle East.
The only hope you have is that Trump is going to somehow want to force a deal because he's a deal guy.
I mean, it's a sliver of a host because his rhetoric is so unbelievably over the top.
Warmongering, right?
No, don't hold it.
It's like you got to.
Okay, look, you're in the World Trade Center.
You got to jump out the window and burn up.
That's your fucking choices.
That's what it feels like.
Who's the lawyer that used to work for him and now they have MSNBC, the corrupt one, Cohen?
Oh, yeah.
Did you watch him saying that Trump's going to send SEAL team six after his enemies and how he's the first political prisoner in America?
That's a quote.
Fuck.
I'm not voting because I would vote for Trump, but if he doesn't send SEAL Team 6 to kill all of those people, which he's not going to, I will never be able to get over it.
I wouldn't be able to go on if I voted and he didn't do the thing that they're whining he's going to do.
So I think he'll do nothing.
And if he does do something good, I'm going to say, boy, I'm so glad I was wrong.
I will happily say how wrong I was.
So I want to show you this.
So I just showed you Kamala Harris got completely ratioed.
The biggest ratio I've ever seen on Twitter for tweeting out that they're sending aid to Lebanon.
And they could do it like that.
Well, right now, we've told you that FEMA announced that they're out of money.
They don't have enough money for another hurricane, which is one's coming to Florida right now.
But they're not going to call, but they somehow need Congress to come back in session to give more money to FEMA.
But they don't need Congress, but they don't need Congress to come back in session to send money to Lebanon.
Well, that's important.
They just do that.
Why is it that the president and Kamala Harris can just send money to Lebanon, almost a half a billion dollars while she said, well, while she says people in North Carolina have to apply for 700 bucks, and then they get turned down.
They're all getting turned out for that money anyway.
Jimmy, can I make a cynical suggestion?
It's almost like some people know that they're getting cleared out with new management, so they're going to loot every last bit they can and screw up the whole place.
Like when I took over the store in Jersey City for fun colon and they just like looted everything because they knew it was over, like that's what I think is happening.
Because this is so in your face.
It's like this is so in your face.
And so Ducey's going to do nothing.
That's what you're going to do.
Nothing.
Here's this guy.
Here's the guy.
The only guy, it seems like, besides Simon Ataba, who they kicked out of the press room at the White House, the only person who ever pushes back against Karine Jean, whatever her name is.
Cringe Jean-Pierre.
Cringe, cringe Jean-Pierre.
Was an actual African from Africa.
They got rid of him.
Get him out of there.
Unreal.
Ducey asks cringe Jean-Pierre why the Biden-Harris administration can send immediate funding to Lebanon without Congress coming back, but they can't do the same thing for additional disaster funds to North Carolina.
She calls this question misinformation.
Let's watch.
Let's watch this.
And it's fun that saying, show me your budget, and I will tell you what you value.
If he's got money for people in Lebanon right now, without Congress having to come back, what does it say about his values?
There's not enough money right now for North Carolina who need it.
That's not misinformation.
Wait, no, that is.
Your whole premise of the question is misinformation, sir.
What you don't a question is misinformation.
His whole question is misinformation.
He's asking why is it that the president and Kamala Harris can send money without Congress coming back into session to Lebanon, but they have to wait for Congress to come back into session to get more money to FEMA and the people who are hurricane victims.
That's not a, she calls it misinformation.
That's what she called.
You know, if this was a beauty pageant, she would be misinformation 2024.
Yeah, she looks like a.
Her talent would be passive intimidation.
And this is the anyway, here, let's play the rest of it.
Yes, yes, it's misinformation.
Is there money?
I just mentioned I just mentioned to you that we provided more than $200 million to folks who are impacted in the area.
And I just shared with you that people are deciding not to.
People are deciding not to.
It's not clear to Congress that there's not enough money to help people.
We're talking about the SBA disaster loan.
That's money for people in North Carolina.
And that's important.
And people in North Carolina need that.
Wait, this is nothing new.
Peter, this is nothing new.
Congress comes together.
They provide money, millions of dollars.
So she's literally saying Congress has to come do this.
And he's asking, why?
Why if President Biden and Kamala Harris can just send money to Lebanon, why do they have to have Congress come back to give this money?
And she just pretending to not understand what he's saying.
And you could see her thinking, I got all dressed up like Steve Harvey for this bullshit.
Did someone tell her her neck looks too long usually, so she got to really shorten that neck up with some shoulder pads?
Watch this.
For disaster relief.
We're asking them to do the job that they have been doing for some time.
So she just keeps saying, yeah, we're asking Congress to come back and do their job of providing disaster relief.
Well, why doesn't Congress have to come back for Biden and Harris to provide disaster relief for Lebanon?
Why is there a faster?
Why is there a faster track for relief money to another country than there is for our own citizens?
Can you answer that question?
And she won't.
Jimmy, it's very simple, okay?
That's misinformation first, the question.
Congress is a thing that gets together that has to approve that money, and it's important to approve it.
That's your answer.
It's a really important situation.
Okay, great.
This is this.
And can you believe there's someone that might lose an election to these people?
I am a little bit of a lot of people.
I've been doing it for some time.
Schumer and Jeffreys.
The president's letter is not misinformation.
Would you agree?
No, the way you're asking me the question is misinformation.
There is money that we are allocating to the impacted areas, and there's money there to help people who truly need it.
There are survivors who need the funding, who need the funding.
And it's there.
You don't like misinformation.
I said that.
I actually said we have the money available to help survivors of Hurricane Helene and also Hurricane Milton.
Now, there's going to be a shortfall, right?
Because we don't know how bad it's hurricane.
You just said two contradictory things.
You just said we have enough money, but there's going to be a shortfall.
Okay.
So there isn't enough money.
That guy, Mayorkis from the DHS, he said they're out of money.
And he said specifically for hurricane season.
He said we don't have enough money for hurricane season.
He said it when I was in line for my flight in LAX when he made his announcement.
Hey, this is Mayorkas.
We don't have enough money for hurricanes.
So I don't even understand how she's supposed to pull.
She must just be more checked out than Congress.
Isn't it nice when a gay black female immigrant lies to you?
Isn't it make you feel better?
It is when they're dressed like Janet Jackson from that Cat Calloway video in the 90s.
Milton is going to need it.
And so we're going to need additional funding.
We're going to need additional funding.
That's what he just asked you about.
You need additional.
You need additional funding, but you're sending money to Lebanon without Congress.
Why can't you send the additional funding to the hurricane victims without Congress?
That's what he's asking.
And she called it misinformation.
It's like asking why the mafia dons get their cut of the casino hall.
You know, like we don't talk about what goes out to Wheezy Eddie and Reno.
And you said it was misinformation.
What you're asking me is why Congress needs to come back and do their job.
That's what you're asking me.
Congress needs to come back and ask for the president.
No, that's not why he's asking to disaster relief fund.
That's what Congress needs to do, and we're going to continue to urge that.
You may not want that, but that's okay.
That's what this president wants, and that's what the vice president wants.
Thanks, everybody.
Oh, that's too hard of a question.
Wow.
That's actually stunning to me how dumb she's appearing on purpose.
That's actually stunning to me.
I feel like I'm watching VEEP.
It's a TV show.
That's actually stunning to me.
Yeah.
Well, look, they just got to delay it till they get all the stuff they want.
All they got to do is delay it with you being mad.
She's like customer service.
You know when they transfer customer service to the Philippines or something?
And that's what she is.
She's customer service.
They'll have an AI for it pretty soon.
No human should have to do this.
Hey, become a premium member.
Go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
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