All Episodes
Previous Next
July 29, 2024 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:06
20240729_TJDS_20240729_Podcast_-_72724_9.51PM
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hey, I'll see you on tour in Las Vegas, Chicago, and Grand Rapids in Chicago.
It's stand-up and a live panel show.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a link for tickets and make sure you go to jimmydoor.com.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hi, Jimmy.
It's President Biden.
Oh, what's going on?
I hear you're resigning tonight.
Not much.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, just kind of hanging out.
I got COVID.
Yeah, I heard.
I heard you got COVID.
Nasty case of it, too.
Really put me on my ass.
Yeah.
My wrists hurt.
Like, what the fuck is that?
Sorry to hear that.
Trump got shot.
You hear about that?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Look, do you want to talk about the fact that you just dropped out of the 2024 presidential race?
No.
No.
Not really.
I really don't.
Mr. President, I think we really need to discuss this.
It's the elephant in the room.
Oh, there's an elephant in the room?
Maybe it should run for president.
We've never had an elephant president before.
That would be so exciting.
Yeah, great out, but I don't know.
How old is the elephant?
It can't be too old.
Do I detect a little bitterness, sir?
Oh, man, nothing gets past you.
Yeah, bitter.
I got forced out.
I didn't want to do this, but oh, well, that's that.
And now Kamala's off running for president.
Netanyahu's addressing Congress, showing the world who the acting president of the United States actually is.
And I'm recovering from COVID watching the Flintstones alone in my bed.
Oh, say, can you see?
Mr. President, most people think this is for the best.
Do they now?
Do they?
Well, bully for them.
You think Kamala Harris is going to beat Donald Trump, like for real?
No.
Well, then you're racist and sexist.
Those are her only weapons in this campaign.
How long is that going to be effective?
She doesn't even know what they're going to throw at her.
Jimmy, she doesn't even know.
It's going to be a bloodbath.
That moron Trump is going to come at her with everything he's got.
Yep.
Two days in, they're already going for a slut.
No, God.
They went for a slut right out of the fucking gate.
Yeah, I know.
And it ain't going to get prettier.
I mean, it's dumb, but it's effective.
Right-wing memes are already calling her the blowjob queen.
Hawk Twit 2024.
It's just beginning.
I think it's pronounced Hawk Tua.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's very low class.
I will admit that's very low class.
And stupid.
I mean, like, what?
You want a woman president who doesn't give blowjobs?
I mean, come on.
Come on, Jimmy.
Women who refuse to go down, you know what kind of woman that is.
Men, no.
Do you really want that personality type in charge of a nation?
That would be the most dangerous geopolitical situation in my lifetime.
That kind of fucking woman.
All right.
Well, that's probably enough for that.
It's just a stupid accusation.
That's all I'm saying.
Okay.
So, what are you going to do between now and November?
Fuck if I know.
Ring.
Wait.
Oh, sorry, Mr. President.
I'm getting another call here.
Hello, this is the Jimmy Dore show.
Jimmy, it's BB.
Oh.
Ah, Jesus.
Hello, Mr. Netanyahu.
Thanks for calling.
Joe, I just gave my speech to a joint session of Congress.
It went great.
But where were you?
We missed you.
I told you I'm sick.
I'll see you tomorrow as planned.
You should have been there, Joe.
Standing ovation after standing ovation from my dutiful little American supplicants.
If I may say so myself, I killed.
And I love to kill.
Ah, real good joke.
Not obvious at all.
Joe, please.
Don't be so bitter that you start denigrating the sketch itself.
Then everything falls apart.
I mentioned you twice in my speech, and both times you got standing ovations.
Yeah, sure.
Now that I'm a lame duck, everybody loves Papa Joe.
What a great guy he was.
Remember him?
Remember the current president?
Now all that's left is my legacy, tainted by my inability to stand up to you and allow this shameful genocide to occur.
Wow.
Good for you, Mr. President.
You finally called it a genocide, which it is.
How dare you?
I'll tell you both.
Jimmy, I assumed you were being funded by Hamas.
But you, Joe, Hamas got to you.
Put a sock in it, blockhead.
No one's falling for this shit anymore.
I'm not running for re-election, which means I get to call you a war criminal.
And it feels so good.
This is what you're going to get from now on.
Honest Joe.
Finally saying what I really think.
Ooh, I like the idea of honest Joe, actually.
Silence, you worm.
Very well, Joe.
I guess there's only one piece of business left for us to discuss.
Forget it.
We're not doing it.
It is part of my diplomatic privilege.
Don't you dare forget that.
What's he talking about, Mr. President?
All right, Jimmy, every visiting head of state gets complimentary valet service.
This is not a joke.
The Netanyahu's are Notorious for bringing suitcases of dirty laundry on state visits and demanding that they be cleaned.
Again, this is not a joke.
I know.
There was literally a Washington Post article about this a few years back.
I know this is real.
Right?
How many times do I have to say I'm not joking?
My wife and I do not have to stand for this flagrant anti-Semitism.
But it's real.
You're the one bringing your dirty wives to Washington for us to clean for you.
It's not anti-Semitic if it's real.
It plays into tropes.
Yeah, I know.
So maybe stop doing it.
Either way, we're not washing this shit.
Who to judge those where the laundromats are in D.C.?
He'll hook you up.
Are you really refusing to do my laundry for me?
My wife's laundry.
You heard me.
Hold firm, sir.
Don't do Benjamin Netanyahu's dirty laundry.
I mean, it really is an unbelievable matter for him.
It is the most tone-deaf fucker in the world.
It is unbelievable.
This is now an international incident.
Calling me a genocidal maniac is one thing, but denying me my special American privileges, you will be hearing about this in the United Nations.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure about I'm sure Gambia is really going to give a shit about your laundry problems.
Boohoo, go fuck off, man.
You tell him.
You tell him, sir.
I am done with you, filthy Goyam.
You have not heard the last of this.
And Jimmy, I'd be careful if I were you.
I sense a terrible accident in your future.
Goodbye.
What the hell did I do?
Anyway, glad to see you finally having some backbone, Mr. President.
Yeah, you know what?
Fuck you, too.
You've always been a thorn in my side.
Never had my back either.
I'm not taking your shit anymore.
Honest Joe, 2024.
Fuck you.
Fuck everybody.
Taylor Swift sucks and it's for idiots only.
Israel does genocides and I can't get a boner anymore.
Anyway, talk to you next week.
All right, sounds good.
Take care, sir.
So do you remember when Van Jones, he had a about face?
Look how quickly he changed.
At first, he says this about Kamala Harris.
Kamala Harris has not been a polling dynamo.
It's not like she's the most popular human ever born.
And that weighs on people.
A polling dynamo makes it sound like a stripper on meth.
Anyway, come on, a polling dynamo.
Hey, breaking news, election bomb cell.
CNN's Van Jones is reporting that Kamala Harris is not, in fact, the most popular human ever born.
Has it exactly been a polling dynamo, he says.
More on this as it develops.
This adds already to the shocking reports that Joe Biden is senile out of nowhere.
So now, so that's what he said.
He said this first.
Kamala Harris has not been a polling dynamo.
It's not like she's the most popular human ever born.
And that weighs on people.
No, he said that.
And then he says this.
Look, get ready for this.
You start insulting black women.
You're going to see something you haven't seen before.
Black men are not going to put up with that.
I was on a phone call with 20,000 black men.
The word protect came up about a thousand times.
Protect this sister.
Protect this sister.
We're going to protect her.
Protect her.
You're about to see something you haven't seen before.
You're, look, people messed around with Hillary Clinton and said a bunch of mean stuff to her.
Black men set that out.
We won't set this out.
So I don't think that the Republican Party understands that all the work that they did trying to get us over there, two more days of this, it's going to be a problem.
So I'm going to play that again.
You start insulting black women, you're going to see something you haven't seen before.
Why haven't we seen it before?
No one's ever insulted a black woman.
By the way, now he's saying you can't criticize someone who wants to be the most powerful person in the world.
A politician who hasn't garnered one vote.
He's now saying that you can't do that because that's going to be racist.
But then watch what he says.
Watch this.
Black men are not going to put up with that.
I was on a phone call with 20,000 black men.
Does he have that cell phone plan that has 20,000 way calling?
What are you talking about?
I know my cell phone doesn't include 20,000 ways.
So he says he's on a phone call with 20,000 black men.
And what happens?
The word protect came up about a thousand times.
Protect this sister.
So you're on a phone call with 20,000 men.
And a thousand times.
He's on a 20,000 man phone gangbang.
And the phrase protect this sister came up a thousand times.
Are you sure this.
The phrase protect this sister from finding out about our weird Van Jones phone orgies.
You mean is that what it was?
No.
So a thousand times in a phone call with 20,000 black men.
So a really small percentage, you mean?
Like one 20th of the guys said that.
That's also called statistically insignificant.
Is that what you're trying to say?
I like how he says that they sat this out when it happened to Hillary Clinton.
Why?
Are they racists?
She showed them her hot sauce and everything.
everything and they still they didn't say anything with this this is called uh infantilizing women.
That's what this is called.
No one's ever said that.
No one ever said that about Barack Obama.
If you insult Barack Obama, black men are not going to stand for it.
No one ever said that.
This is because Kamala Harris is one of the, just like Hillary Clinton, is one of the most repulsive figures in public life in history.
Repulsive.
Nobody likes Hillary Clinton.
You know who specially doesn't like Kamala Harris?
Black people.
Elizabeth Warren, the Native American, was out-polling her with blacks.
Harris support drops among black voters.
She had 1% when she ran for president.
Kamala Harris had 8%.
I mean, Elizabeth Warren had 8% of the black vote, the black vote.
Whitey Miss Whiteman had 8%.
Bernie Sanders had 16%.
Kabla Harris had 1%.
So this is Van Jones doing some deep-level bullshit.
I was on a phone call of 20,000 black men.
And they're not going to put up with it.
You're going to see something you've never seen.
What are they going to do?
What are these 20,000 black men going to do exactly?
Wag their finger at people?
What are they going to do?
You're going to see something.
He doesn't say what that something is.
Why wouldn't I?
Wish he would have said what that something is.
Nobody likes her.
And here's a black man.
Here's not a fictitious 20,000 phone call black man.
Here's a real black man.
There's literally no way you can get the black community to support Kamala.
And Democrats are the victim.
Did you hear what he said?
There's literally no way you get the black community to support Kamala.
There's literally no way you can get the black community to support Kamala.
And Democrats are the victim of their own anti-democratic agenda.
They canceled the primaries.
They forced Kamala Harris down her throats.
And now they're paying for it.
No one's going to vote for Kamala Harris.
It's going to be such a massive landslide.
We see how Trump and GOP run against her.
If they paint her just by highlighting her policy, I think that would be enough.
And that will expose her for being a traitor to our people.
It's not about, we wouldn't think Trump would do better.
It's about getting people who are part of the Democratic coalition staying home.
I think Kamala Harris is the person that would do that.
Well, Trump actually did better.
So Trump polls better with black people than Kamala Harris did.
Trump's getting 22% of the black vote right now.
When Kamala Harris ran, she got 1%.
Really?
I can't say, I just really, Van Jones?
Fred Rogers is more in touch with what the black community thinks that Van Jones is.
This guy is just a mouthpiece of the establishment.
100 percent here's here's Here's another black guy.
You want to see another black guy?
Here's another one.
There's no way in hell I am going to vote for Kamala Harris.
Once again, I'm not going to disparage her.
I'm a black man.
I respect black women.
I will never, ever disparage her person.
But there is no way in hell I would ever vote for Kamala Harris.
That's just a no-go right there.
Primary reason is she has been reckless and irresponsible.
She was in charge of the border, and she left us open to danger and a whole host of other issues and solid logical reasons why I cannot, in good conscience, allow her to California, my America.
I won't do that.
So I'm guessing he wasn't one of the 20,000 black women on that call.
So I'm guessing these two black guys were not one of the black guys on that call.
Here's another black guy who probably wasn't on that call.
Black people, I will say to you once again: if you think that Kamala Harris is going to represent your interests, you are absolutely not looking at her background whatsoever.
I say Kamala Harris represents all the people.
I mean, if by all the people, you mean a small handful of wealthy white coastal elites.
She really represents them.
So that's three black guys for you.
Here's a black woman.
So the DNC, the GripleC, and the Democratic Party all forgoed, actively foregoed a primary process.
And they were telling us that Joe was ready to go.
Even though you and I both knew that Joe probably hasn't known what day it is since about 2022.
And now we're expected to support Kamala Harris, who, mind you, is not only a member of his administration, so an active participant in what is going on in Gaza, but she's also a cop, a prosecutor who ruined a lot of black families in California.
She was actually so unpopular in her home state that she had to drop out of the 2020 race prior to the voting because she kept coming in fifth place in all the polls.
So, no, I will not be supporting Kamala Harris.
I don't care how much they black girl magic her over the next couple of months.
So that's a black woman and three black guys.
Now, I know it doesn't raise to the level of your...
I mean, this is...
So this is what you're getting...
The game from here on out is you hate Kamala Harris and you're racist against her and you're insulting a black woman because she doesn't have a record to run on.
She has nothing to run on.
And she's a psychopath sociopath with an inappropriate laugh at every turn.
That's right.
So you want to know who super doesn't support This selection of Kamala Harris as the nominee for the Democratic presidential nominee.
You know, it doesn't support this selection because it's not an election.
Nobody's voting for her.
They're getting insider elites to appoint and select the Democratic nominee, which is how the last two elections went anyway.
That's how you got Hillary Clinton.
Donna Brazil, who was the head of the DNC in her book, wrote that it was a rigged primary.
Elizabeth Warren admitted it on CNN.
It was a rigged primary.
Bernie's too much of a cuck to stand up and make them change any of the rules.
So then in 2020, Barack Obama did the same thing.
That was two primaries rigged.
And now this one, nobody even voted for her.
And you know who's the one who doesn't support her the most?
Black Lives Matter.
This is their Twitter.
Black Lives Matter says, listen, timeline of events.
Sunday, Joe Biden drops out.
Kamala Harris announces campaign with Biden endorsement.
Kamala Harris says she's going to work hard to earn the nomination.
And then Kamala Harris makes calls to party delegates.
Monday, Kamala Harris continues making calls to party delegates.
Kamala Harris makes two public speeches.
The AP announces Kamala Harris has secured enough delegates to be the Democratic nominee.
They did that Monday night.
Sunday, Joe Biden drops out.
Monday, she's the nominee.
What?
Kamala Harris releases this statement, noting she has worked hard to go out and earn this nomination as promised.
When did you not even 24 hours went by?
A 24-hour process of talking to party bosses is not Democratic.
This is coming from Black Lives Matter.
A 24-hour process of talking to party bosses is not democratic, nor is it a process of Democrats should be proud of.
We do not live in a dictatorship.
Delegates are not oligarchs.
This is the blue check Black Lives Matter Twitter account.
Installing Kamala Harris, because that's what they're doing.
They're selecting her.
They're not electing her.
They're selecting and then installing her.
They're installing Kamala Harris as Democratic nominee and an unknown vice president.
So who's the vice president?
We don't even know.
Without any public voting process, it would make the modern Democratic Party a bunch of hypocrites.
As if they weren't already.
We call on the DNC to create a process that allows for public participation in the nomination process, not just a nomination by party delegates.
Well, guess what, Black Lives Matter?
You ain't getting it.
You ain't getting it.
You're getting Kamala Harris, and you're going to have to suck it.
That's that.
Thank you.
What did you think?
What did you think the Democratic Party was about?
After a whole year of protest by Black Lives Matter, they invented a whole new police system.
I mean, a whole new police force, not a new system of policing, which is what you wanted.
They gave you another police force that was funded to the tune of $2 billion.
They didn't defund the police.
They unbelievably overfunded them.
What did you think the Democratic Party was going to do?
What in the hell have they ever done anything for you?
We call on the DNC to create a process.
Good luck with that.
Let me know how that works out for you.
Kamala Harris was chosen by the richest people in this country and possibly the world to be the presidential nominee.
She was their original choice in 2020, and then she couldn't get a vote.
She got 1% of the black vote in the primary in 2020.
She got less black support than Elizabeth Warren.
She got less black support than Bernie Sanders.
Bernie Sanders had 16 times more black support than Kamala Harris did.
Thank you.
She appeals to the white wealthy elite donor class.
Wall Street and the military industrial complex.
That's who chose and selected and is installing Kamala Harris.
This is not coming from the grassroots.
This says they don't give a shit what you think.
They're doing it and suck it because Trump.
And here is Jensaki, Joe Biden's former press secretary, going to admit to you that they rigged this process for Kamala Harris.
This was never even a process.
They're just putting out a show.
But now the DNC and the Democratic Party has to run.
They're going to run a process, is my understanding.
And the process is going to be, the goal of it is to make the vice president look strong and be strong at the end of the process.
And that's what they did.
She's already the nominee, the presumptive nominee.
It's already over.
She's already got all the delegates.
She's already got all the party bosses to agree with her.
That's what this is.
Party bosses are selecting her.
She's already been selected by Wall Street.
Here's what Matt Taibbi said: Florida, this is how they rigged the primary.
So you remember how the rigging goes, right?
So they didn't have a real primary.
They rigged the primary for Joe Biden.
So then all the delegates that got elected to be delegates would be Joe Biden loyal, which means they're establishment party bosses.
And they would be the delegates at the convention.
So this was the plan all along.
You don't have a real primary.
And then right before the convention, you force Joe out, which is exactly what they did.
They forced him out.
And then you have those delegates that were pledged to Biden, which are insider Democrat party bosses.
You know, they're going to go with the establishment choice, which is Kamala Harris.
No one's even running against her because they know it'd be running against the whole party and the donor class, and you can't do that inside the Democratic Party.
And so, do you remember?
Do you want to remember how they rigged this primary for Joe Biden so they could have these delegates choose Kamala Harris?
Florida canceled the primary for him.
North Carolina, Massachusetts, Tennessee, and Wisconsin submitted only his name on the ballots.
In New Hampshire, you chose delegates through a nominating event that didn't include voters.
And they also switched the first primary from Iowa to South Carolina.
This is all for Joe Biden.
Under a new vision in which the DNC was not something separate from the Biden campaign, the party refused to schedule debates with RFK Jr., Dean Phillips, or Marion Williamson.
Proof that America's beleaguered system still functioned would have involved a competitive primary through which Democratic voters could discover Biden's infirmities early enough for them to have a say in choosing a fitter candidate.
Instead, the public was only confronted with the truth a few weeks ago, by which time only internal power, internal party power brokers were positioned to make a change.
That's a failure of democracy, unless you think choosing a candidate without voter input is a systemic improvement.
That's from Matt Taibbi.
They're choosing their candidate without any voter input after a rigged primary.
And these are the people telling you that democracy's on the ballot.
Even Black Lives Matter sees through this.
Black Lives Matter, the puppet of the Democratic Party.
Even they see through it and are outraged about it.
And they're not supporting this.
There is no way in hell Kamala Harris is going to win this election.
No way in hell.
Just like Hillary Clinton, she's repulsive to the average voter.
She's attractive to the party elite, the bosses, Wall Street, the military-industrial complex, Silicon Valley.
She's to the donor class and gay white males.
They love her.
Black people, not into Kamala Harris.
No matter what Van Jones says.
Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show: you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
And it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Breaking.
Governor Newsom issues an executive order to clear homeless encampments across the state.
How many Chinese leaders are coming to California?
Because that's the only time he'll do this.
What?
He will not make himself available to reporters today.
You can't even try to come up with any excuse.
It's unbelievable.
Okay, here it is.
Here it is.
Governor Newsom has issued an executive order to remove homeless encampments throughout California.
Yeah, this is an order to direct state agencies on how to remove the thousands of tents and makeshift shelters that are found throughout the freeways, shopping center parking lots, and city parks.
In a statement, Newsom says, quote, we must act with urgency to address dangerous encampments, end quote.
Newsom's order does follow a Supreme Court ruling that allowed for an action like this.
It said encampments can be cleared even if there's no shelter space available.
Now, worth noting that while Newsom cannot order local cities or counties to act, his administration can apply pressure by withholding money from them.
So stay with us for updates on this breaking news as we get there.
So here he says, no more excuses.
We've provided the time.
We've provided the funds.
Now it's time for locals to do their job.
Well, he didn't have any luck confiscating people's guns.
At least you can confiscate some people.
What the?
The local, so he's blaming this on local municipalities.
The people in the local municipalities, their job is to steal and not snitch when you steal.
And they did their job.
Here's another.
He's blaming local officials for his two decades of failure to improve the.
He ran on solving homelessness back in like 2010.
The first time he ever ran.
I think even in 2008, he ran on solving homelessness.
Here it is, 2024.
And he's blaming local officials.
I like that.
No more excuses.
Governor, if it weren't for excuses, you'd be homeless.
Here's what friend of the show, Nick Cruz, says: when your system is too shitty to fix homelessness, you just create a police state to criminalize it instead.
This is what a failed system looks like.
China doesn't have to implement policies like this.
Isn't that amazing?
Isn't that amazing?
We were in Europe.
I saw one homeless person the whole time I was there.
It was like at 5:30 in the morning in Amsterdam.
I saw one guy sleeping in the street.
We went to Sweden.
We went to Denmark.
We went to Oslo.
We went to Berlin.
We went to London.
I didn't go to a lot.
In all fairness, I didn't travel around Berlin a lot.
I just went to my hotel and then I walked to the venue, which was right past Hitler's bunke.
So I can't really speak for Berlin.
I didn't see much of Berlin at all.
And then, of course, London, it's its own nightmare right now.
Come on, California.
It's illegal not to have a lot of money.
Are you right?
Come on.
So here's what he said.
I don't think there's anything more urgent and more frustrating than addressing the issue of encapsulation in the state of California.
In the course of the last number of years, the state has stepped up, where in the past, we provided no support, no resources to cities and counties to clean up encampments like this.
Today, we've invested now.
Why didn't you?
You spent $24 billion on it.
You didn't give any resources to cities and counties?
What?
Okay, here we go.
$1 billion in encapsulate resolution grants, not only clean up sites like this, but to address the underlying issue in the first place.
One of the big issues, though.
Here, hang on.
Let me listen.
I don't think there's anything more urgent and more frustrating than addressing the issue of encapsulates in this.
I could think of something more frustrating.
You suddenly acting like you give a shit about it just because you ain't going to replace Biden.
How about that?
Okay.
In California, in the course of the last number of years, the state has stepped up where in the past we provided no support, no resources to cities and counties to clean up encampments like this.
Today, we've invested now over $1 billion in encapsulate resolution grants, not only cleanup sites like this, but to address the underlying issue in the first place.
The underlying issue that has been an impediment.
What is the underlying issue?
So, the underlying issue is people don't have psychiatric care.
We don't have mental health hospitals to put the people who have mental health issues.
The other problem is people go bankrupt when they get sick in America.
That's another problem.
Another problem is 40% of homeless people actually work.
So, we don't, our wages are too low, and the rent's too damn high.
And we don't build enough housing.
There's no affordable housing.
People in California have to spend like 40% of their income on housing.
Okay.
Was the courts in the past?
The courts have denied the ability of the local government, including the state, to clean up many of these encampments.
Today I announced an executive order to move the process forward.
We're done.
It's time to move with urgency at the local level to clean up these sites, to focus on public health and focus on public safety.
There are no longer any excuses.
A billion dollars this state has invested to support communities to clean up these encampments.
We have now no excuse with the Supreme Court decision.
This executive order is about pushing that paradigm further and getting a sense of urgency that's required of local government to do their job.
But where are you going to put these people?
Do you have is there?
Well, here's what they already did.
California, this has already spent $24 billion on homelessness, and it can't measure the impact.
They can't even tell you where the money went.
It's...
Thank you.
First of all, you can measure it.
I can measure it for you right now.
How many gallons are in one cluster?
Fuck.
Is that it?
State auditor questions the effectiveness of spending programs.
They spent $24 billion.
Have you seen $24 billion on homelessness?
So this is just a money laundering operation that they were running.
That's what that is.
I'm sure what happened is they hired some corporation to go do homeless outreach, and they paid them $24 billion.
And they did nothing.
$24 billion they already spent.
You know how many apartments you can build for $24 billion?
You know how many mental health facilities you can build for $24 billion?
You know how many drug rehab centers you can build for $24 billion?
Because that's what you need.
You need affordable housing.
You need a living wage.
You need health care that doesn't bankrupt people.
And you need mental health facilities and drug rehab places.
That's what you need.
Right now, we put drug addicts in prison, which costs around $100,000 per person a year in California.
Don't you think it would be better to put them in a drug rehab?
A court-order drug rehab?
Important clarification here is that the order does not mean that California is doing some mass encampment clearing today.
He's directing state agencies and departments to come up with plans to clear encampments from state properties and asking local governments to do the same.
Well, of course, he's not going to actually do anything.
Maybe somebody should tell them that we already handed out $24 billion for an impact that we can't measure.
We can't measure the impact.
Wow.
So you handed out $24 billion, Governor Newsome, and now you're telling people to draw up a plan.
That seems backwards, right?
Am I the only one who thinks that seems backwards?
You already handed out $24 billion, and now you're telling people to draw up a plan.
Get this.
Newsome has made homelessness a signature issue as governor.
Oh, really?
That's guess what?
If there was ever a signature issue with Governor Newsom, it's the homelessness debacle.
That's definitely my signature issue with Governor Newsome.
Definitely.
That's his signature issue.
What?
How long has he been governor?
How long has Governor Newsom been governor?
Since 2019.
So five years.
He's been governor for five years.
And so now he's pushed and campaigned for a ballot measure earlier this year to allow the state to borrow $6.4 billion to build 4,350 housing units.
So after spending $24 billion, now he's going to borrow $6 billion, $6.5 billion to finally build housing units.
The order comes as Republicans have stepped up their criticism of California and its homelessness crisis as Vice President Kamala Harris, a former California district attorney and attorney general and senator, launches her presidential campaign.
Is that what this is about?
To make Kamala Harris look better?
Harris entered the race over the weekend after President Joe Biden.
Is that what this is about?
Is that what this is about?
He has, so this was, so now he can say, Governor Newsom, he solved the problem he's mostly responsible for.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Wow.
So, and where's he going to send the homeless now?
Are they going to be like the new influx of immigrants?
And are you going to open up the hotels to them?
Isn't that the rule?
This is well.
You know, he makes this big announcement like it really should matter to the state of California, but there's no announcement about real health care for the state of California that the Democrats keep voting down in the state house.
What's that say again?
They keep voting down health care.
Yeah, of course.
But it's the Democrats.
They're not your friends, ladies.
Yes.
Oh, no, it's the Republicans who are standing in the way of healthcare.
I live in California, 100% Democrat rule.
Super majority Democrat, majority, and a governor who's Democrat.
Still no health care.
And he campaigned on that.
And homelessness everywhere.
Did you know that they say you can end homelessness in the entire country for $20 billion?
Well, not if Governor Newsom's in charge of it.
That's really shocking.
Okay, look at that.
Governor Newsom says he's finally going to do something about homelessness.
But he's not.
He's not going to do anything.
So 4,350 housing units.
Let's say if you put three people in each one of those houses, that's around 12,000 to 13,000 homeless people.
How many homeless people do you think there are in California?
What's the homeless population in California?
171,000 homeless people in California.
So that would take care about maybe 12 or 13.
That's his plan to take care of 12 or 13,000 of them?
And 25% of those are children.
25% of homeless people are children in California.
So one out of four homeless people in California is a child.
That's not even enough housing units to house the children.
Just the children.
What's 25% of 171,000?
42,000.
So if 25% of the homeless people in California are children, that means 42,000 children in California are homeless.
That's not going to take care of it.
So he proposes not even a half measure.
That's not even a quarter measure, his big idea.
And now he's given a billion dollars to local municipalities just to clear out the homeless encampments, not to take care of the homeless people or build housing or build mental health facilities or build drug rehabs and staff them.
That'd be a great jobs program.
We're going to build housing.
We're going to build.
How about that 24 billion?
You already had 24 billion.
Why don't you take that to build housing units?
Why don't you use that 24 billion to build mental health facilities and drug rehabs and staff them?
It's amazing.
So guess what?
I found this video of Trump saying that one side of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict doesn't want a deal.
What side do you think that is?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Here we go.
It just never ends.
But the key is a lasting piece.
You have a lasting piece.
First thing you have to ask, do they both want to make it?
I have a real question as to whether or not both sides wants to make it.
I have a real question as to one side in particular, whether or not they want to make it.
Well, I don't want to say that right now.
I think one side actually would like a deal, and I think the other one maybe doesn't want a deal, to be honest.
I don't want to say it.
No, look, we show our cards too much in the good.
I wrote the art of the deal.
We show our cards too much.
So if I get into that, I don't want to say this and that, and then they'll come and they'll say, well, Trump is biased one way or the other.
I think there's a chance that you could probably make a deal if you had a real deal maker.
If you had somebody that knew what he or she was doing.
In my opinion, if Israel wants to make a deal, I think a deal could be made.
I think a lot is going to do with Israel.
Look, it's going to have to do with both sides, but a lot will have to do with Israel and whether or not Israel wants to make the deal.
So why does Trump sound like the most reasonable candidate for president on this issue right now?
I mean, it's a low bar, but he just vaunted over it by virtue of not saying the lockstep Zionist horseshit that even RFK Jr. says.
So this is what I've been saying about Trump.
His flex is to find a deal.
He's like, let's find a deal.
And he's saying one side doesn't want that deal.
Which side do you think that is?
Well, here he's going to reveal it here.
He wanted to make a deal more than that, you know.
And I will be honest, I had a great meeting with him.
Abbas, right?
I had a great meeting with him.
And we spent a lot of time together, talked about many things.
And it was almost like a father.
He was so nice.
Couldn't have been nicer.
And after meeting with Bibi for three minutes, I looked at him and said, you don't want to make a deal, do you?
And he said, well, and the fact is, I don't think Bibi ever wanted to make a deal.
I thought the Palestinians were impossible that the Israelis would do anything to make peace and a deal.
I found that not to be true.
Whoa.
Whoa.
So I know Trump is rah-rah Israel on the campaign trail.
I think it's to get all the money from Sheldon Adelson into his campaign coffers because it looked like he wants to make a deal.
He had a father-son relationship with the PLO leader.
He said he's the nicest guy in the world.
After three minutes of talking with Bibi, he said, Bibi, you don't want a deal, do you?
So this is a totally different story than I've ever heard before.
And I want to know when that second part was recorded because that's so shockingly honest.
I think it was leaked to make Trump look bad.
Was that that's that's probably they thought it would do damage to him.
No kidding with his Jewish donors.
And, you know, this also confirmed Trump is right about BB because here's who also confirmed that what Trump just said about BB is also correct.
You know who confirmed it?
Bib Netanyahu himself confirmed it when he openly said with his own mouth that we must support Hamas to prevent a two-state solution.
He said that BB doesn't want to make a deal.
What BB wants is for the staff to dry clean about eight giant suitcases full of his family's dirty laundry every time he visits the White House.
By the way, that's true.
Did you know that?
That's how weird Benjamin Netanyahu is.
He brings suitcases full of dirty laundry and has the people at the White House do his dirty laundry for him.
That is that's not just a metaphor.
This is literally what he and his wife are known for when they come to visit the capital.
Give it a Google.
So I know it's tough to believe that BB Netanyahu, a guy named after the smallest caliber of ammunition, wants to continue a war.
But he does because they don't want a deal.
They've always wanted control of the West Bank and Gaza.
They want the Palestinians out of there.
They want them in Jordan.
They want them in Egypt.
They want them anywhere but where they are.
So that this is stunning.
To me, it's stunning.
Trump admitting that he talked to Benjamin Netanyahu and after three minutes he says, you don't want a deal, do you?
And Netanyahu said, ah, is that not stunning to you, Steph?
It's remarkable.
It's remarkable.
How about you?
What's your name?
Misha.
Misha?
Misha says yes in a very soft voice so it won't be picked up by the microphone.
Nobody knows.
I mean, yeah, I mean, it is shocking because, yes, they do think that this would be bad for Trump, but I think this is a very important part for us to hear.
I think that got leaked because whoever leaked that part thought it would be here.
Let me play it again.
Not the first.
Just never end.
So the first part, he says, I'm ready to make a deal, but one side's got to win.
Israel's got to want a deal.
I have a real question as to what in particular, whether or not they want to make it.
I don't say that right now.
I think once I actually look at it, I think everyone doesn't want to deal with the honesty.
I don't want to say, no, look, we show our cards too much in the future.
I don't know the order of the deal.
We show our cards too much.
So if I get into that, I don't want to say this and that, and then they'll come and say, well, Trump is buying us one way or the other.
I think there's a chance to get the problem.
If we had somebody that knew what he or she was doing, in my opinion, if Israel wants to make a deal, if Israel wants to make a deal, there'll be a deal.
He doesn't say, Palestinians want to make a deal.
A lot will have to do with Israel and whether or not Israel wants to make the deal.
I thought he wanted to make a deal more than Netanyahu.
So he's talking about Abby.
He said, I think he wanted to make a deal more than Netanyahu.
So this part was obviously serendipitous.
It seems to me it was serendipitously or secretively, secretively recorded.
And then they leaked it to try to hurt Trump, to do damage on him.
Let's listen to it again.
And I will be honest, I had a great meeting with him.
Abbas, right?
I had a great meeting with him.
And we spent a lot of time together, talked about many things.
And it was almost like a father.
I mean, he was so nice.
Couldn't have been nicer.
And after meeting with Bibi for three minutes, I looked at him and said, you don't want to make a deal, do you?
And he said, well, and the fact is, I don't think Bibi ever wanted to make a deal.
I thought the Palestinians were impossible that the Israelis would do anything to make peace and a deal.
I found that not to be true.
So I would love to know where that recording's from.
Was That did he know he was being recorded when he said that?
I don't know.
It seems contrary to every other thing he said publicly.
So, Jake Shields says Trump posted a letter he received from the Palestinian president before his meeting with Netanyahu.
So, Trump's supposed to meet with Netanyahu, I believe, on Friday.
And you want to see what he released?
So, Jake Shields, who's a MAGA guy, who's also pro-Palestinian, which is, and he says he constantly says he will do anything for Israel, but this definitely comes across as an FU.
So, you want to see what the FUE?
He says, looking forward to seeing B.B. Netanyahu on Friday, and even more forward to achieving peace in the Middle East.
So, Trump wants peace.
You know, Netanyahu doesn't.
They want to wipe out the Palestinians and take over the West Bank in Gaza.
And so, this is a letter.
And here's how Trump, Mahmoud, so nice.
Thank you.
Everything will be good.
So, this is a letter he, Your Excellency, is a great, grave concern that I've received news later watched footage of your attempt.
So, this is a letter he got from the head of the PLO.
And he releases it at the same site saying, Looking forward to talking with BB.
So, it sounds to me like Donald Trump saying, Hey, guess what?
We're going to get a peace deal, you homicidal maniac.
That's what it seems like.
And of course, Donald Trump is a big salesman and he knows how to influence the media cycle.
And it seems like all that stuff he's been saying, which is ultra-pro-Israeli, was one to get donations, and two, so then he could go in and make a deal.
Because if you go in, if you're saying all these things that are pro-Palestinian, and then you make a deal that's somehow fair to the Palestinians, people will say, Oh, you're a you're a Palestinian lover, so he's going to me, this is what it seems like to me.
He's going over to the top in his rhetoric, but he really wants to make a deal.
What the hell do you call this?
Sounds to me that sounds like Trump wants to make a deal.
Sounds like Trump wants to end this war.
Biden has no interest in ending it, he doesn't care.
This is what it seems like, and it seems like he's putting pressure on BB.
BB's very unpopular and Israel, by the way.
Don't forget that.
They almost kicked him out of office before it was like he needed this war to hang on to power.
Looking forward to seeing you, BB, and even more forward to achieving peace in the Middle East.
Hey, do you know who didn't attend Benjamin Netanyahu's speech today?
Thomas Massey.
I like this guy, Thomas Massey.
I don't have to agree with everything he says, but I respect him.
So, I feel about Thomas Massey the way a lot of our conservative viewers feel about me.
Like, I don't have to agree with Jimmy, but I respect him, and I know he's telling the truth.
That's how I feel about Thomas Massey.
He tweeted this out.
He says, Today, Congress will undertake political theater on behalf of the State Department.
The purpose of having Netanyahu address Congress is to bolster his political standing in Israel and to quell international opposition to his war.
I don't feel like being a prop, so I won't be attending.
52,000 likes, almost 2 million views as of this airing of seven hours.
Wow.
So, he doesn't want to be stained by the association.
Isn't that something that's a big move?
Good for Thomas Massey.
Guess how they tried to smear him?
Here's Apec trying to smear him.
Go figure.
Apex says, once again, Representative Thomas Massey is standing with AOC and Bernie Sanders against our ally, Israel.
Wow.
So he comes back with, Do you call me anything you want?
I won't be attending your war rally.
Good for you.
And look at this APAC tweet got totally ratioed.
And so did Massey ratio the shit out of him.
APEC very unpopular in the United States, except with politicians.
I can only find this one who's going to stand up to them.
Wow.
Good for you, Thomas Massey.
Come right clap.
You can call me anything you want.
Thomas Massey would rather be tainted by his association with Bernie Sanders and AOC than with APEC.
Think about that.
They should just call it War Pack, APAC.
Annie Weber says, tries to tries to also shame Thomas Massey and says, it's part of your job.
He's a foreign leader with a shared interest in the Middle East.
Like it or not, attend, then voice your thoughts and opinions, to which you also have a right.
Sorry, Annie.
Looks like your little control trip isn't going to work anymore because Thomas Massey says being a prop for the State Department to perpetrate war in the Middle East is decidedly not in the job description the founders laid out for me.
Nice.
So, sorry, Annie, didn't work.
Your little control trip didn't work.
So now it's back to dressing up your pets in human clothing for photographs.
And by the way, Thomas Massey going against APAC.
You know, when you do that, you're saying goodbye to any hope of a three-picture deal in Hollywood.
You'll be lucky to get a Netflix special.
You know, when I tweet out that Zionism is equal to Nazism, I know I'm signing my death warrant with Hollywood.
I know that.
There's no way anybody in Hollywood could be associated with me after that.
It would look bad.
It look almost as bad, probably worse than what Jack Black's Partner said about Trump's assassination.
That's probably worse for you in Hollywood, for sure.
Hey, become a premium member, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
▲
Export Selection