All Episodes
Previous Next
July 22, 2024 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:00:34
20240722_TJDS_20240722_Podcast_-_72124_11.55AM
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hey, I'll see you on tour in Las Vegas, Chicago, and Grand Rapids in Chicago.
It's stand-up and a live panel show.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a link for tickets and make sure you go to jimmydoor.com.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy's President Biden.
Hey.
Hey, Mr. President, how are you?
Okay, man.
Lower the temperature.
What?
Just lower the temperature of the political rhetoric.
Just take it down a notch.
It's gone too far.
It's gotten too heated.
I didn't say any political rhetoric.
I just asked how you were.
Yeah, but it's you.
You never say anything without some sort of angle.
You can say happy birthday, and there's some sort of understood incitement to violence.
I never incite people to violence.
Why would you say that?
Because you say things I don't like and I disagree with, and that's the best way to shut it down.
I see.
Good to know.
Mr. President, we all have a lot of questions about this assassination attempt.
What?
Zip it.
Why?
Look, asshole.
If you're lucky, in 30 years, Oliver Stone will release a movie about it that answers none of your questions.
In the meantime, just lower the temperature.
This is a terrible thing that happened to Donald, my good friend Donald Trump.
Yeah, your good friend.
And it would never have happened had the political discourse in this country not reached such a high temperature.
But as Democrats, our path is clear.
We have two tasks.
Yeah, what are those?
First, out of some misguided devotion to a sense of decency, we have to not only pretend to like Donald Trump, we have to roll over and show our bellies to the GOP like the bunch of sad-sack pussies we fucking are.
Yep.
Just be the bigger man and cede the entire election to them.
Yep.
It's the right thing to do.
Essentially, you need to stop running against Donald Trump because to do otherwise would be mean and rude.
Yep.
And anyone not falling in line here will be subject to the only weapon pussies like us have at our disposal.
Canceling.
I see.
Jimmy, we are proud to have as a member of Team Biden none other than the multi-talented Jack Black.
As you know, he's been a staple of my fundraisers for some time.
A real cut-up.
We love having him around.
Not for too long.
He's one of those guys who's kind of a lot.
But the other night, his tenacious D partner Kyle Gas said something inexcusable on stage that he wished that that guy hadn't missed.
Can you believe it?
Yeah.
What kind of mind would come up with such a thought?
But our friend Jack Black has cut ties with his partner of 30 years, who's the real brains behind that tenacious D operation.
Kyle Gas's agency has now dropped him as a client.
The system worked.
We Democrats show our mettle not by defeating political enemies, but by viciously kneecapping our own.
That's incredibly spineless.
It's incredibly spineless.
Thank you.
Okay, so what's the second task?
Second task while we are engaging publicly in this embarrassing self-abjugation is to quietly turn this assassination attempt into an opportunity for us.
How so?
Okay, let me walk you through it.
Okay.
So we're telling everyone to lower the temperature, right?
Right.
We're pulling attack ads on Trump, changing our messaging to de-emphasize anti-Trump campaigning.
It's a giant pivot.
But where do we pivot to?
I almost don't want to know.
Oh, yeah, it's pretty terrible.
If you've read articles informed by anonymous sources in the White House, you'd know, Jimmy.
Instead of attacking Trump, we will be attacking extreme political speech.
The type of heated rhetoric that led to this terrible, tragic assassination attempt in the first place.
The exact type of rhetoric we saw in these pro-Palestinian protests.
What?
How could you possibly draw such a parallel?
Jimmy, lower your temperature.
In fact, I should probably have called these hateful gatherings what they really were.
Anti-Israel, anti-Semitic hate rallies.
Oh, really?
Don't you think maybe you should lower the temperature, Mr. President?
Jimmy, lower the lower the temperature temperature.
It's getting too meta-heated.
This is a perfect opportunity for me.
Aside from my obvious mental and physical decline, the main source of my dwindling poll numbers is my stance on the war on Gaza.
Yeah, many of us feel like you're aiding and abetting a literal genocide.
Lower anyway, if we can tether pro-Palestinian sentiment to the specter of political violence that many centrist voters fear, including a random dork shooting at Donald Trump's ear, that could be a winning formula.
Equating human rights in Gaza with chaos and murder.
Mr. President, this is the most shameful political tactics at Nixon's southern strategy.
He preyed on racist fears to gain political leverage, just like you're doing.
Well, it fucking worked, didn't it?
Also, lower the temperature.
What you were saying is offensive to our racist friends in the GOP.
But fine, we'll put a pin in that and circle back around.
But let's take it from another angle.
Preserving my legacy.
Your legacy.
My legacy.
If I go down in flames in November, which everybody but me seems certain of, my legacy will be tainted by my refusal to contain Netanyahu's genocide.
If we can spin that refusal as a reaction to political violence or hateful rhetoric, it just might work.
No, it won't.
I can assure you, the time for cobbling together a new political coalition for you is past.
I mean, who's advised you on this?
Nobody.
My aides are pretty much checked out, man.
Yeah.
When I see any of them anymore, they're usually staring pensively out of a window.
Yep.
So me and Hunter came up with this shit all by.
Yeah, I bet very impressive just pulling Hail Mary's at this point, huh?
Yeah, basically, yeah, I can barely stand or form a sentence, might as well go for broke, right?
Yeah, anyway, I just beg of you on your show, just keep the temperature low.
Enough with the divisive rhetoric, it leads to violence like a grazed air violence or literal genocide violence.
All right, that's just disgusting over the line.
You're hopeless, dedicated to high temperature, divisive rhetoric.
You, my friend, will never have the integrity of a Jack Black.
Kaaaa!
Kaaaa!
*music* *music*
Establishment media sets of artists fighting so good luck the bullshit they can't afford.
Watch and see as his jackdog comedium speeds and jumps the medium and hit some head-on.
It's the chimney door show.
See how crazy it is?
Oh, guess what?
Microsoft IT outage live.
Only contact your GP if it's urgent.
Patients told as internet fails worldwide.
Internet fails worldwide.
Internet fails worldwide.
So you can't use credit cards.
What if we all have our digital currency?
That's why you need gold, baby, and you also need cash.
And so that's why I hate these businesses that don't.
Oh, we don't accept cash.
Fuck off.
I think those businesses do that because they don't trust their employees.
I bet you're right.
So the head of crowd, this is because of a company called CrowdStrike.
Where do we know CrowdStrike from?
CrowdStrike was the liars that said that Russia hacked the DNC server.
They were being paid by Hillary Clinton.
FBI outsourced their investigation to CrowdStrike.
CrowdStrike made up a lie, and that started RussiaGate.
So here's the CEO.
This is what he had to say about their big massive failure.
The worldwide, the internet fail worldwide because of CrowdStrike.
What?
Because of one company?
Yeah.
So this is what he said.
This is the CEO.
He said, CrowdStrike is actively working with customers impacted by a defect found in a single content update for Windows hosts.
Matt, first of all, let me skip.
Let me go to this.
Here he is.
First of all, what kind of asswipe who's the CEO of the company that runs the internet of the world combs his hair like that?
What are you fucking Jen's nephew?
Anyway, and he comes out.
You can't even put on his tie.
You run the world's internet.
You can't put on a fucking tie and a suit coat.
You're too cool.
You fuck up.
So listen to him.
So he goes on NBC today and they ask him, like, how come there isn't redundancy?
Why are you doing this on a Friday?
Why are you doing it on a set?
Anyway, listen to this.
Watch this.
Savannah here in Milwaukee.
I mean, you're in the cybersecurity business, and I certainly don't even pretend to understand this.
But according to your statement, it was a single content update that has managed to shut down air travel, credit card payment systems, banks, broadcasts, streetlights, 911, or emergency around the globe.
Why is there not some kind of redundancy or some sort of backup?
How is it that one single software bug can have such a profound and immediate impact?
Well, when you look at the complexity of cybersecurity, you're always trying to state one step ahead of the adversaries.
Are you shitting me?
Are you shitting me?
That's what happens when you just got caught murdering someone.
You just got caught.
And you're like, no, no, let me finish.
It's not what it looks like.
So she's asking them, you guys just wreck the world.
Everybody's getting these blue screens, even bus stops.
You know, bus stops have the even bus stops had the blue screen.
Why isn't there some kind of redundancy?
How the hell did this happen?
Well, when you look at the complexity of cybersecurity, you're always trying to stay one step ahead of the adversaries.
Excuse me.
Just one second, please.
Yeah, sorry.
Take a drink of water, you asshole.
You're always trying to stay one step ahead of the adversary.
You scammer.
And in this particular case, our systems are always looking for the latest attacks from these adversaries that are out there.
So this content update went out, and as it does, and it's been doing for many, many years, obviously we've got a robust team that's looking at the safety and security and the quality of these updates.
And we have to go back and see what happened here.
So basically, he's saying, he's not answering the question.
Why is it there's some redundancy?
How the hell can you have how you don't roll this out a little bit at a time?
You just do it all at once so the whole goddamn world shuts down.
Look at that.
That's airports.
Man, I'm so glad I wasn't flying today.
Oh, I know.
Oh, my God.
So then you can't even use your credit card to go get it.
What do you do?
You're stuck at the airport.
You can't even get food.
How do you get, you can't even get your Uber or your Lyfts because it's connected to your credit card.
You can't even get out of there.
Here we go.
There is a negative interaction with the way some of these operating systems work in this particular.
Oh, there's a negative interaction, is there?
You think?
You think worldwide internet goes down?
You think streetlights, 911s, call centers, 911.
So there should be some lawsuits on this.
I bet there's a lot of people who died because of it.
In case it was only a Microsoft operating system that was impacted, you'll see a reaction like this.
And this is what we've seen here.
Yeah, they.
So, so no answer.
So do you remember the question she asked him?
He didn't answer it.
No answer.
How is there not as redundancy for this?
How could this happen?
Oh!
Yeah, I got one.
And then did you hear his stupid answer?
His answer is, well, we're always trying to stay ahead and there's a glitch and that's that.
He didn't have an answer.
Do you want me to play it again?
I'll play it again.
Well, when you look at the complexity of cybersecurity, you're always trying to stay one step ahead of the adversaries.
Excuse me.
Just one second.
Oh, yeah.
Take a drink.
You take it.
Yeah, sorry.
Sure, it's been a long night.
It's been a long night.
We're always trying to stay one step ahead of the adversaries.
And in this particular case, our systems are always looking for the latest attacks from these adversaries that are out there.
So just content.
So that's not the question.
That's not the question.
That would be the answer to the question: hey, how are you guys fending off attacks from adversaries?
That's not the question she asked.
She asked, how come there is a redundancy?
Update went out, and as it does, and it's been doing for many, many years.
Obviously, we've got a robust team that's looking at the safety and security and the quality of these updates.
And we have to go back and see what happened here.
But if there is a negative interaction with the way some of these operating systems work, in this particular case, it was only a Microsoft operating system.
Oh, that's all.
It was only.
You'll see a reaction.
It was only.
Did you hear him?
It was only a Microsoft.
That was it.
Oh, that's all it was?
It was nothing.
It was only Microsoft.
You mean the thing that the whole fucking world runs on?
It was only Microsoft.
Did you hear him downplay that?
Because that's what he's doing.
He's downplaying that.
I'm sure everybody at these airports would love to hear that answer.
And this is what we've seen here.
Yeah, I think a lot of people woke up and wondered.
And so the person who was smart enough to ask that question wasn't smart enough to realize he didn't answer it.
And they didn't ask him again.
They didn't go, yeah, you didn't answer our question.
And then Hoda just goes, oh, yeah, she just moves on.
If something nefarious was afoot, if this was some kind of a cyber attack, but you're saying that it was just something within your own system.
So now, as we sit here, I was watching the news out of Australia.
They were trying to get their television stations back on the air, their hospital software back up and running.
The banks going, how long does it take to get everything back up and running?
Well, yeah, first and foremost, again, just to reinforce what you said.
Okay.
I don't need to hear anything from that guy.
He didn't answer the question and they didn't press him on it.
So Aaron Mate, he says CrowdStrike is the cyber firm that generated the claim that Russia hacked the DNC.
We were the first one to debunk that, by the way.
I'm petty, and I want respect.
Not dumb, like everybody says I'm smart.
And I want respect.
Not how Pop wanted it.
That's not a time.
I wanted it.
Not how Pop wanted it.
What about I want it?
So we debunked that here.
We were the first one to bring on Bill Binney and debunk this.
CrowdStrike is the cyber firm that generated the claim that Russia hacked the DNC, setting off RussiaGate, even though CrowdStrike was working for the Clinton campaign.
The FBI relied on CrowdStrike rather than independently investigating the hacked DNC servers.
That's true.
It only emerged four years later that CrowdStrike had no evidence of Russian hacking.
The Clinton campaign, CrowdStrike, and Robert Mueller had all concealed this.
That CrowdStrike had no evidence of Russian hacking, and that they all concealed it.
They even gave false statements to Congress about it.
Since then, CrowdStrike has grown into such a powerful force that it today was responsible for a global outage that has disrupted air travel, banking, 911, also hospitals, credit cards, everything.
And I said, this is the part of the Russiagate conspiracy theory that never got talked about on cable news or in the New York Times or the Washington Post.
Just to sum up, CrowdStrike investigated the DNC hack, which looks like it was Seth Rich.
They said they're being paid by Hillary Clinton.
They say it's Russia.
The FBI doesn't do the investigation.
They let Hillary Clinton's paid people, CrowdStrike, do the investigation for them.
When does the FBI ever let a private company do a criminal investigation, especially if it's something so important as another country hacking into our elections?
So I'll just go through this real fast.
So this was his original.
He posted this originally.
CrowdStrike is actively working with customers impacted by a defect, founded a single content update for Windows hosts.
Mac and Linux hosts are not impacted.
This is not a security incident or cyber attack.
The issue has been identified, isolated, and a fix has been deployed.
We refer customers to the support portal for the latest updates and will continue to provide Complete and continuous updates on our website.
We further recommend organizations ensure they're communicating with CrowdStrike representatives through official channels.
Our team is fully mobilized to ensure security and stability of CrowdStrike customers.
So I like this, what this lady says, Lulu.
She says CrowdStrike CEO is getting pummeled for his response to the global outage.
Why everyone hates it?
One, it's weapons-grade corporate speak.
Let's be clear.
Legalese doublespeak is designed to dodge and obfuscate rather than inform or communicate, which is what he did with Hoda and that other lady on the NBC.
This statement was obviously written by a committee of lawyers and middle managers whose only goal was to avoid legal risk and threats to their own job security.
If you can't understand what the statement is even saying, it's working as intended.
Two, the first word should be, I'm sorry.
But you won't find that anywhere in this statement, nor the watered-down, I take responsibility.
Not even the Weasley, we regret nothing.
It comes off as cowardly and callous.
CrowdStrike caused an outage that took down airlines, stock exchange, hospitals, ICUs.
People might have died, and the CEO is not sorry.
Passive voice throughout.
This is such a classic move to avoid accountability.
It's even become a joke.
Mistakes were made.
This statement is almost comical in its efforts to dodge assigning responsibility.
The issue has been identified.
A fix has been deployed.
Which issue?
Who caused the issue?
You did.
What fix?
Did it work?
It's also dismissing customers.
Don't bother us with your petty complaints of power going out in your local hospital.
We refer customers to the support portal.
And we further recommend customers ensure they're communicating with representatives through official channels.
You, the customer, are bothering us and making our lives harder.
That's what that says.
Also gives you useless information.
So many words, so little meaning.
This statement says nothing useful.
Not what the problem was, who caused it, what they learned, what the fix is, how long it might take, and what they're working on, or anything at all.
It assigns extra work to the customer by telling them to go through official channels, but does not then link to the official channels.
The onus is on you, customers, according to CrowdStrike.
And it's woefully insufficient shits are given.
This statement conveys that the CEO thinks you're overreacting.
Everyone, calm down.
It was only a global outage that took down emergency rooms and the London Stock Exchange.
In fact, not even that.
It was a defect found in a single content update.
And it was isolated.
This outage knocked out 9-11 call centers and hospitals.
People literally might have died.
And the company's CEO is out here playing it down as if it's no big deal.
Because that's what they do.
So, of course, a guy who looks like that when he goes on to put on a fucking suit, you slob.
And quit trying to be a 24-year-old hipster.
You're a fucking 60-year-old douchebag.
These CEOs and nerds.
Look, look, I'm cool like an actor.
I'm like a director.
Look how I comb my hair.
And I don't even bother with a suit and tie anymore.
Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week.
And it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcompedy.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business, and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Rachel Maddow went nuts again.
And the last time we did a report on Rachel Maddow being nuts, it got demonetized.
So we'll see what happens here.
I think Rachel Maddow has a real lover inside the monetization room at YouTube, but we'll see.
Rachel Maddow claims Lord of the Rings is a favorite of far-right figures.
You think I'm kidding?
Does far-right just mean dorks?
Because I know it's a favorite of dorks.
Am I right?
I mean, she says, so let's listen to it.
Let's listen to what she says.
Like Mr. Thiel, who has named his companies after things in the Lord of the Rings series of JRR Tolkien books, Lord of the Rings is a sort of favorite cosmos for naming things and cultural references for a lot of far-right and alt-right figures, both in Europe and the United States.
Chris, could you believe this?
Are you shaking your head at this, right?
Now, Lord of the Rings is now far-right.
White supremacist racist.
J.D. Vance isn't a white supremacist because he likes Lord of the Rings.
Maybe it's because now he's working with a guy he once called Hitler.
You ever think of that?
This is real.
She's really saying this.
Like Mr. Thiel, who has named his companies after things in the Lord of the Rings series of JRR Tolkien books, Lord of the Rings is a sort of favorite cosmos for naming things and cultural references for a lot of far-right and alt-right figures, both in Europe and the United States.
Peter Thiel names all these things after Tolkien figures and places, like his company Palantir, for example.
Like his mentor, like Peter Thiel, who had given him all his jobs in the world, Mr. Vance also, when he founded his own venture capital firm, with help from Peter Thiel, named it After a Lord of the Rings thing, he called it Naria, N-A-R-Y-A, which you can remember because it's Aryan, but you move the end to the front.
If you just move letters around, if you just take the letters and jumble them up, they say different things.
And lots of times you can make them say stuff like Nazis and Aryan.
This is real.
She just did that.
She just did that.
They took a she is mental.
She called it Naria.
N-A-R-Y-A.
Naria, but if you take the N away and you put it at the end, it's Aryan.
You can remember because it's Aryan, but you move the N to the front.
That's how you remember it, she said.
That's how you remember it.
The woman with the Tucker Carlson haircut, the Megan Kelly eyelashes, and the man jeans.
Talk about someone in conflict with themselves.
And now she's, this is Alex Jones can't come anywhere close to the shit that is being said on a daily basis at MSNBC.
So these people are now white supremacists if you misspell the names of the companies they've formed.
Naria, N-A-R-Y-A, which you can remember because it's Aryan, but you move the end to the front.
Apparently, that word has something to do with elves and rings.
Can you do that with anything?
I wish I could think of something off the top of my head.
Hey, if you put, if you, if it's Maddow and you take one of the D's and you put a C in there, that's Mad Cow.
You're trying to infect people's brains with a virus.
Mad cow.
Like, you could just do that all day long.
Jimmy Dore, if you put it, take the D and you put it over there, you put an H in front of it, says it's a whore.
That means he's going to sell out.
What the fuck?
She literally just did that.
A company that he found is called Naria, which is after something in the Lord of Rings.
After a Lord of the Rings thing, he called it Naria.
So it's something in the Lord of the Rings, Naria.
Just like Palanter, just like, oh, by the way, you would think that this incredible journalist, Rachel Maddow, would mention that the CIA actually uses Palanter to monitor American political dissidents.
Kind of seems more important than this nerd fantasy angle.
So he, she admits that he gets all the names of his shit from Lord of the Rings, and then she just says one of the words from Lord of the Rings is Aryan if you misspell it.
And you can't make, I couldn't make this shit up, but guess who could?
Rachel Maddow.
With help from Peter Thiel, named it after a Lord of the Rings thing.
He called it Naria, N-A-R-Y-A, which you can remember because it's Aryan, but you move the end to the front.
Apparently, that word has something to do with elves and rings from the Lord of the Rings series.
I don't know.
Like Mr. Thiel.
Boy, she doesn't know, but she certainly knows a lot of things about this things that she claims she doesn't know anything about.
I don't know.
It has something to do with this or that.
I don't know.
But you do know Naria.
If you take the N up, it's Aryan.
That's how you remember it.
That's basically the way Rachel Maddow operates.
And either you go along with it or you get called a phobe or an issue who has named his companies after things in the Lord of the Rings series of J.R.R. Tolkien books.
Lord of the Rings is a sort of favorite cosmos for naming things and cultural references for a lot of far-right and alt-right figures, both in Europe and the United States.
Peter Thiel names all these things after Tolkien figures and places, like his company Palantir, for example.
Like his mentor, like Peter Thiel, who had given him all his jobs in the world, Mr. Vance also, when he founded his own venture capital firm, with help from Peter Thiel, named it after a Lord of the Rings thing.
He called it Naria, N-A-R-Y-A, which you can remember because it's Aryan, but you move the end to the front.
Apparently, that word has something to do with elves and rings from the Lord of the Rings series.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You know, maybe he named it after something from the Lord of the Rings.
Maybe JD Vance named it Naria after something from the Lord of the Rings because his biggest donor is Peter Thiel, and that's his gig.
And so maybe it proves that he's more of just a basic run-of-the-mill ass kisser trying to flatter the guy who's given him his business start and funded his political campaigns.
You ever think about that?
Nah, I bet it's got something to do with Aryans.
You can't make this shit up.
It is interesting watching Rachel Maddow turn into Jim Garrison from the movie JFK, tying everything together in the great conspiracy of 2024.
That being that, and her great conspiracy, that being that a couple of guys enjoyed a book dealing with very basic level good versus evil shit.
According to a wiki page dedicated to the series Naria, or the Ring of Fire, was described by Tolkien as having the power to inspire others to resist tyranny, domination, and despair, as well as having the power in common with the other three rings to hide the wielder from remote observation, except by the wielder of the one, and giving resistance to the wariness of Time.
I think I just became a virgin again just by reading that.
I think I just became a virgin again.
Maddow's monologue preceded one from her colleague Alex Wagner, who accused Vance of dropping an Easter egg of white nationalism by mentioning that he hoped to be buried in his family's plot in Kentucky during his speech.
So by mentioning that he hoped to be buried in his family's plot in Kentucky, according to Alex Wagner, that is dropping an Easter egg of white nationalism.
There's nothing more racist than wanting to be buried next to your family.
Well, except for being married to a woman of color, which J.D. Vance actually is.
Total racist.
It's like when they call Bill Burr a racist.
They would have pointed out his wife is black.
They go, a lot of racists do that.
They go marry black women and have half-black kids.
But you can't be surprised by any of this with a guy who uses initials like he's a country Western star.
Am I right?
J.D. Vance I'm talking about?
I expect to see him play in the Las Vegas trip sometime soon.
Oh, by the way, guess who else loves Lord of the Rings?
Stephen Colbert.
One of the most famous Lord of the Rings super fans is Stephen Colbert.
Meaning, Rachel Maddow now thinks that Colbert is a far-right figure.
But I'm just guessing that if you were into Dungeons and Dragons, you must have been into Lord of the Rings.
Yes.
Yes, I was.
I will just say this to you, Conan.
Ellen Silla Lumen Omentielvo.
Or don't you speak Cuenya?
No one speaks hi Elvis in this room.
Oh, no.
Stephen Colbert speaks Aryan.
Much like a historical Nazi, he hates Russians, and he was all in on lockdowns and mandatory experimental gene therapy.
That's your latest cuckoo bird, Rachel Maddow, off her nut with her Megan Kelly eyelashes.
I like what lesbians wear when butch lesbians wear the Megan Kelly eyelashes.
Those are my favorite.
And you pair it up with the Tucker Carlson haircut and some man jeans.
That's a psychiatrist's dream.
And then you call everything you don't like white supremacist.
This is like a cartoon watching MSNBC now.
They're like a cartoon.
And F you if you can't handle the truth.
This is the best version of Joe Biden.
They just did that.
Remember that?
Putin's going to turn off all your heat in the winter.
Poof, just like that.
Putin's going to do that.
Remember that?
Remember Russia Gate?
I think this is the biggest thing that's happened at the RNC so far.
Now, Trump's going to give a speech tomorrow night.
That'll probably be bigger, but this is a big deal.
And what does it signal?
It signals that the Democratic Party is completely losing workers.
So the people who used to vote Democrat aren't anymore.
Now the Democratic Party, just like Chuck Schumer said, for every blue-collar worker we lose, we're going to pick up another one in the suburbs.
A white-collar worker.
So now they become the party of Wall Street.
They become the party of the military industrial complex, Silicon Valley, and white-collar suburbanites.
That's the Democratic Party.
They're letting the Republicans take.
And J.D. Vance has got a better record than Joe Biden for sure.
Did you ever think you'd see this at the RNC?
Sean O'Brien, general president of Teamsters.
You know what I see?
I see an American worker being taken for granted, workers being sold out to...
Let's listen.
I'm Sean O'Brien, general president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters.
Think about this.
A union guy at the RNC.
This would make Dick Cheney, Mitt Romney, George Bush puke.
Here we go.
I'd like to give my peeps from the greatest state in the nation, Massachusetts, some props.
What's up?
And they're cheering him.
First, I want to thank the hardworking Teamsters and union members here in Milwaukee who play vital roles in the building and operations of this convention.
I also want to thank President Donald Trump for opening the RNC's doors to the Teamsters Union and inviting me to speak before you tonight.
I travel all across this country and meet with my members every week.
You know what I see?
An American worker being taken for granted.
Workers being sold out to big banks, big tech, corporates and the elite.
And I'm not the only one who sees this.
Everyday families see it.
They're saying this at the Republican convention.
That workers are being sold out to banks and big corporations and big tech.
This is happening at the RNC.
The American people aren't stupid.
They know the system is broken.
We all know how Washington is run.
Working people have no chance of winning this fight.
That's why I'm here today.
Because I refuse to keep doing the same things my predecessors did.
Today, today the teamsters are here to say we are not beholden to anyone or any party.
We will create an agenda and work with a bipartisan coalition ready to accomplish something real for the American worker.
And I don't care about getting criticized.
It's an honor to be the first Teamster in our 121 year history to address the Republican National Convention.
Several months ago, I asked the RNC and the DNC for the opportunity to speak.
To be frank, when President Trump invited me to speak at this convention, there was political unrest on the left and on the right.
Hard to believe.
Anti-union groups demanded the President rescind his invitation.
The left called me a traitor.
And this is precisely why it's so important for me to be here today.
Think about this.
Think about this.
The teams are doing something correct.
If the extremes in both parties think I shouldn't be on this stage.
The next one is going to be on this stage.
So that's a big deal.
I think it's a big deal.
I didn't know they never had Team Sir.
speak at the convention before.
Republicans.
And that's...
I think you see the party shifting.
And Trump in advance being open to having a union guy give speech and talk about how workers are being screwed over by banks and corporations.
I think it's a big deal.
I don't think you can minimize that.
Especially when Joe Biden is screwing over banks.
I mean screwing over workers in favor of railroad barons and everybody else.
And still won't talk about giving people health care or the private or public option.
Now Trump also when he ran in 2016 said he's going to give everybody health care.
He didn't.
Didn't do it.
Boo!
Didn't do it.
So...
And during COVID, Biden didn't even think to give us nationalized health care.
I know.
And I want to show you this.
So here...
This will show you what is going on.
So this is Fox interviewing the Teamster president.
then i'm going to show you msnbc talking about j.d vance being the pick uh for for vice president let's watch this vance the short time that we've worked together i mean he's been great on teamster issues um he is supported co-sponsored us so this is this is fox news talking about donald trump's vice president pick and i'm going to show you msnbc talking about it jance the short time that we've worked together i mean he's been great on teamster issues um
He is supporting, co-sponsored an airline manufacturing bill that addresses outsourcing of critical airline maintenance to China.
He's also supported paid sick leave for our railroad workers.
You remember that situation a couple of years ago when they weren't getting sick time.
He was he stepped right up.
He's also been very vocal and supportive of holding employers accountable who try and skirt their obligation under an independent
contractor model known as dsp so he's been right there on all our issues uh we publicly stated it and look i at this day and age there's nothing better than having a u.s marine uh represented uh as a vice president candidate so that's fox news having got a union guy talking about how the vice president of the republican party stands with workers rolling a little what so that's how the fox news covered
Trump's vice presidential pick.
You want to see how the MSNBC covered it?
They tried.
Here, let's play it.
Let's play it for you.
J.D. Vance, I think, widely considered to be the most radical choice.
So they got to make you.
It's all fear, fear, fear.
The Republicans are radical, crazy, radical.
He's the most radical.
Really?
Oh, yeah, because he was against the Ukraine war, right?
Does not signal that he is, Trump is trying to soften any edges.
And the only person who was more excited than J.D. Vance this afternoon was Vladimir Putin.
They dropped balloons from the sky where Putin was hanging out this afternoon.
Because J.D. Vance has even said he doesn't care what happens to Ukraine.
So, Fox News is talking about issues with a union leader that are pertinent to workers.
MSNBC is red baiting.
MSNBC.
So, do you see how this flip is happening?
This is why?
That's weird.
You would think that the Democrats would be talking about issues about workers.
No, they're red baiting.
And you go over to Fox News and they're talking with a union leader, talking about how, about issues that are pertinent to workers.
So, again, the left-right issue, the left-right labels don't.
don't seem to mean anything and i will um and again i've i found this out uh watching do Dissonance.
They covered this, and that's where I got the idea to do it.
And they made almost all the same arguments I'm making.
But this is amazing.
I think it's amazing there was a Teamster president speaking at the RNC being invited.
And I think that this, to watch how the way MSNBC and Fox News covered the vice presidential choice of Donald Trump is unbelievably telling that there's been a flip in the parties.
And the Democrats have just conceded workers.
They're just not going to, they just don't give a shit.
They're going for the white-collar suburban voter.
Get this.
Now they're saying that Iran had a plot to kill the president.
Now that's right.
Exclusive Secret Service ramped up security after intel of Iran plot to assassinate Trump.
No known connection to shooting.
By the way, when they, you know what it means whenever the U.S. authorities have obtained intel?
It means they are relying on your lack of intelligence while they spout something they just made up.
Shit, we can't pin this on Russia.
We said that Russia likes him and we can't pin it on Israel for obvious reasons.
But I do like the idea of pinning it on a country that starts with the letter I. U.S. authorities obtained intelligence from a human source in recent weeks on a plot by Iran to try to assassinate Donald Trump, a development that led to the Secret Service increasing security around the former president.
Okay, well, if you're saying that you increase security around him, aren't you saying that it's a bigger failure then?
That's what increased security looks like.
There was nobody on the building that had a straight shot at the president.
That's what increased security looks like?
I think you guys are telling on yourselves.
Secret Service learned of an increased threat from this threat stream, an official told CNN.
NSC directly contacted the United States Secret Service at a senior level to be absolutely sure they continued to track the latest reporting.
Secret Service shared this information with the detailed lead, and the Trump campaign was made aware of an involving threat.
Trump's campaign will not comment on whether they were made aware of this Iran threat.
In response to the increased threat, Secret Service surged resources and assets for the protection of former President Trump.
All of this was in advance of Saturday.
It certainly didn't look like they did.
It looked like they sent the Little People Brigade, a bunch of 5'4 women, and they only had two snipers.
The rest of the snipers were inside a building.
There was nobody else looking out.
No one.
That's what a surge in resources and assets looked like.
If that's what a surge in resources and assets looks like to you, I'd like, I've got a vaccine I'd like to sell you.
Okay, here, I mean, if this job were any more inside, it would be Howard Hughes.
Am I right?
Come on.
You get that?
Because he was a shut-in.
Okay, here we go.
Professor, this latest twist on the Trump assassination attempt is the U.S. officials blaming Iran.
What do you have to make of that accusation?
Actually, me and many of my friends knew this was coming after this mess that they've created.
So this is Professor Saeed Mohammed Mirandi from Tehran University, where it's pretty clear that they knew that it was an inside job.
He said they knew this accusation against Iran was coming.
Many of my friends knew this was coming after this mess that they've created, where it's pretty clear that, in my opinion, at least, that it was an inside job.
They allowed this sniper to get so close and to have such a clear shot at Trump.
And people were even pointing to him, and the police and the Secret Service did nothing about it.
Nothing.
And we all know when a president or someone like Trump travels, when the Secret Service of any country travels with him, there are days ahead.
They cover all the bases.
They know exactly where to put their people.
So either it was a catastrophic failure on behalf of the U.S. Secret Service, or it was an inside job.
And I personally think it was an inside job.
So now, because the Biden regime is under a lot of pressure and people are pointing fingers at them, it's very convenient to accuse Iran of plotting an assassination.
Sort of like the 2016 presidential election when Trump got elected.
Then we had Russia Gates.
Everything is always someone else's fault, not the fault of the deep state in Washington.
After failing in an assassination attempt, now Mockingbird Media started spreading fake news that Iran might be behind assassination attempt of Trump.
Now, my conviction has become stronger that the CIA is behind this attack.
Always remember, mainstream media is not there to give you news.
The real task of the media is to distract you from the truth and manufacture consent.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Remember, the CIA is just made up of regular people, just like me and you.
If you or I was a sociopathic murderer who lives on a reward basis rather than doing What is right?
Here's the news.
U.S. received intel of Iran plot to kill Donald Trump weeks before.
Why Iran may be plotting to assassinate Trump.
U.S. received intel of Iranian plot.
Really?
I mean, did they really think that the Secret Service and the people who plotted this really think it would make them look better?
Saying that you had two weeks advance warning.
And you're just explaining to everybody that you...
You had warning and you still didn't do anything?
You had a surge in protection.
You still didn't do anything?
Here's more.
U.S. officials had info about Iranian plot.
Realist Iranians.
This is for the record.
Iran denies it.
U.S. intelligence has reported an alleged plot by Iran to assassinate former President Trump, leading to increased security measures.
If that's what increased security measures look like, what was it like before that?
The Iranian government has denied involvement in the assassination attempt.
The plot was reportedly separate from a recent shooting incident involving Trump, and no direct link has been established between the Iranian government and the assassination attempt.
The U.S. received intelligence on this plot from a human source.
I'm glad it wasn't from a zoo.
Wow.
Why would Iran be plotting to assassinate Donald Trump?
I'll tell you why.
Because we need somebody else to start a war with.
We just don't have enough wars going on at once.
This is like the Gavin Newsom.
You know how he has all the side pieces?
So this is an official from Iran.
He said, I told you explicitly that we would resort to legal and judicial procedures because they're upset that Trump killed that General Solemni Soleimani.
Remember when he did that?
And they're saying, yeah, we're not going to go assassinate him back.
What we're going to do is we're going to use the frameworks at the domestic level and international level in order to bring the perpetrators and military advisors of General Soleimani's assassination to justice.
Pressed further if that meant not using violence.
The guy said, we will only resort to Iranian and international legal and judicial procedures.
So.
Wow.
Okay.
Now they're blaming Iran.
And they're trying to claim that they had a surge in protection around Donald Trump.
Just cut it out already.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who is this?
Jimmy.
He's an actor, producer, director, writer, podcaster, and former criminal defendant, Alec Baldwin.
Ah, hi, Alec Baldwin.
Actually, aren't you more or less former all of those things?
Go fuck yourself.
Ah, duly noted.
Hey, what can we do for you, Alec Baldwin?
What you can do for me, Jimmy, is raise a glass to my exoneration.
Yeah.
The criminal case that was so frivolously brought against me by the Santa Fe DA's office has been dropped with prejudice.
Normally, Jimmy, I abhor prejudice in all its forms.
Especially against white Latinas.
This case, prejudice has proven to be the moral, true north of the universe.
So you're celebrating, I take it.
No, not publicly.
That would be gauche, considering the circumstances.
Because a person died?
No, because my entire New York summertime formal wardrobe is at the dry cleaners right now.
I can't be seen out and about looking cash.
But believe you me, we are having quite the intimate fet here in the Baldwin household.
Well, considering you weren't acquitted, but rather released on a technicality, it seems you got off pretty easy.
I mean, I assume you're going to just take it and lay low and take the win, right?
On the contrary, my pugilistic friend, I am planning on suing the Santa Fe DA and Sheriff's Office.
Why?
Why?
For wrongful prosecution, Jimmy.
Prosecutorial misconduct.
The defense hid evidence, random bullets that could have exonerated me.
So we're turning the tables on them.
Some real law and order season two vibes.
Have you seen the reboot?
Yes, not a fan.
Wouldn't it be in your best interest just to let this go?
I mean, to start a process of start the process of separating your reputation from this horrible incident.
Under normal circumstances, you would be correct.
Yeah.
These circumstances are anything but normal.
Which is the name of our upcoming reality show on TLC, The Baldwins.
Anything but normal.
Yeah.
Unless we go with the second working title, which is Los Baldwin Steals Neo.
Oh, brother.
Oh, brother and sister, several times over.
My massive brood of pseudo-ethnic children, along with my wife, Ilaria, and myself, will be presenting ourselves unfiltered to the public.
You may think you know the Baldwins, but you ain't seen nothing yet.
Wow, you're really selling this hard.
They're already paying me.
Oh, okay.
But what does this have to do with your lawsuit?
Well, Jimmy, my producers decided that we needed an ongoing B or C plot throughout the first season.
You know, for contrast, they like the dynamic.
Ilaria preparing meals, helping with homework, shuttling this one off to soccer practice, another to theater rehearsal, mending conflicts between siblings, and me in the background yelling cocksucker into a speakerphone.
I see.
Very compelling.
I'm so glad you agree.
You see, my uncontrollable rage was going to be an element of the show from the beginning, no matter what.
It was simply unavoidable.
It can't be hidden or corralled.
So it must be utilized.
Yeah.
And what better way for it to come out than my wrathful legal attack against those who tried to destroy the Baldwin Family, I can't wait to see it.
You and the rest of America.
I'm afraid you'll have to wait.
Preparing a four-story townhouse for a multi-camera shoot is no small feat.
I've already punched one of the cameramen in the face out of sheer reflex and muscle memory.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I certainly apologize.
How many seasons do you envision this going on for?
As many as it takes.
Yeah, either my legal bills are paid off or my marriage collapses.
Well, I hope that doesn't happen.
Wouldn't want for the show to end like that.
Of course not.
But if it did, there would be immediately a spin-off reality show following me personally as I get back out there.
You don't say I do say being Alec happy hour or being Alec free at last are our current working titles.
Wait, you're actually planning for this to happen?
I wouldn't say planning, not the right word exactly.
Just being realistic.
The more seasons you can contract for, the more money you make.
And since these situations don't seem to last, one must realize past is prologue.
Has our nation learned nothing from John and Kate plus eight?
Plan accordingly.
I thought you said you weren't planning on it.
Do not quote me to me.
All right.
All right.
Well, we look forward to it.
Where can we see your reality show again?
Being the ball wins too many Ninos this fall on TLC.
The learning channel.
The learning channel.
Please tune in.
I need the fucking money.
Jeez.
Hey, become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkomedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
▲
Export Selection