Hey, I'll see you on tour in Las Vegas, Chicago, and Grand Rapids in Chicago.
It's stand-up and a live panel show.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a link for tickets and make sure you go to jimmydoor.com.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello, who's this?
This is Jimmy Door.
Who's calling, please?
Crying out loud.
I'm treacherous.
It's Joe Biden.
Why?
Because I've done it before and I'll do it again.
And we're going to get Trump out to the polls, believe you me.
Yes.
Hello, Mr. President.
Don't give me that.
You're one of them, aren't you?
I know you.
You and your fake mustache aren't fooling anybody.
I'm one of who.
These people saying I should step down.
Step aside.
Take a step back.
I've got you news for you, Colonel Sanders.
I'm not the hokey pokey president.
I'm going to stand in the place where I live.
I'm the REM president.
It's a reference for the kids.
Yeah, for the kids.
For the kids.
For the kids.
You wouldn't get it.
Yeah, it's from 1992.
Mr. President, what do you think about the surge of voters, pundits, and elected officials calling for you to step aside and let someone else run?
Let me tell you something.
Let me be very clear about it, Jimmy.
The days of me portraying Biden as basically cogents in these fake phone calls are over.
It doesn't make sense comedically anymore.
Hit that tipping point.
And two, I'm as clear and sharp as I've ever been.
Just ask any of the handlers who control any and all access to me.
Hunter?
You didn't answer the question, sir.
Voters, pundits, politicians, many are saying you should go for the good of the party and for the good of the country, for that matter.
What do you say to that?
Nobodies.
Snakes.
Snakes and nobodies.
That's who.
One-eyed traitors.
Snake Pliskin.
What about Chuck Schumer?
AOC?
Yeah.
Bernie.
Pelosi.
Adlai Stevenson.
Have you ever asked for me to stop running?
No, not yet.
Exactly.
I'm fine.
I still got the big guns.
And Jimmy, I still have the billionaire donors.
That's who matters.
Yeah.
Now, if they started, if they started peeling off, yes, I'd be concerned.
But never that.
Until this, we shall stand.
I'm sorry, Mr. President.
I'm getting another call.
Hello, Jimmy Door Show.
Jimmy D speaking.
Hey, Slappy.
This is George Clooney calling.
The cloons.
Looney cloons.
Looney cloons.
That's right.
However, I am on a serious tip today.
Hi, Joe.
It's George Clooney.
Oh, hi there.
I remember your party.
Fundraiser.
Raisela Doe.
Jillian are very grateful.
Wife is Amal.
That's right.
Amal.
That's your name.
Very good.
Yeah, I still remember my drills sometimes.
What's going on, my handsome friend?
Did you happen to catch this morning's New York Times editorial section?
No.
Some of my staff were talking about it.
A lot of chatter.
I asked what it was, and they said, go in the other room.
So what's up?
Well, Joe, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it.
I wrote an op-ed saying that you should step aside.
So I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like your billionaire donors are peeling off.
Oh, man.
This is a disaster.
Or it would be if you were actually a billionaire.
Mr. President, actually, George is a billionaire.
The fuck?
How popular are those Oceans movies?
It's not from acting, Joe, or producing or directing, or the occasional writing.
No, I invested in a tequila company that got really successful.
Did nothing for it, just reaped the reward.
A cool Billy.
Man, it's a good thing you're likable because on paper, most people would want to beat you to death with a hammer.
Don't I know it?
Sometimes the mall feels that way.
But anyway, buddy, you got to step aside.
It's time.
Give yourself a rest.
You've done great.
But the chorus is in crescendo, babe.
I mean, when you've lost Rob Reiner, you know your goose is cooked up.
Rob Reiner.
Man, that's a fun name to say.
Just fun.
Rob Reiner.
Jimmy, say Rob Reiner.
Rob Reiner.
Rob.
God damn it for crying out loud.
Stop saying Rob Reiner.
It's not helping anything.
I've said it a million times.
Just saying Rob Reiner does nothing for the American people and the working class.
Just step down, baby.
Joey, baby.
Come on.
Just have fun.
You step down.
We can drink Sambuka and watch the Harris campaign and laugh.
You can have sushi with me and Jimmy.
No, no, thank you.
Jimmy?
Jill won't let me.
She said not allowed.
I'm running whether I like it or not.
She said, I'm not going back to fucking Delaware.
No one calls me doctor there.
Hunter's new addiction is running into my office every 10 minutes with a different fake mustache on, claiming to be various donors, telling me to hang in there.
This sounds like a nightmare, George.
Is there anything the president could do to win you back?
Well, if he admits what he said during his NATO speech, what do you mean?
It sounds, I listened to it, sounds like you said of the NATO Secretary General.
I realized I was fucking your wife.
Of course not, man.
That was a gaff.
I was misheard.
I meant talking.
Well, that was your big chance.
You either said the most baller shit ever or you fucked up.
Sorry.
You could have been part of the wife fucking club, but I guess that was just another incidence of mental decline.
Me and the boys, we fuck each other's wives as pranks and then publicly joke about it.
Good one.
and That's shit, man.
Jimmy D's knows what I'm talking about.
Unfortunately, I do, but I'm not involved with this.
Guys, we have to end this call.
George, thanks for breaking the news.
And may I say, if you started the billionaire donor domino effect, that would be beyond hilarious.
Goodbye, gentlemen.
That would indeed be hilarious.
No, it would not.
Or it would, depending on what you just said, I dozed off.
Hey, I'll see you on tour in Las Vegas, Chicago, and Grand Rapids in Chicago.
It's stand-up and a live panel show.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a link for tickets and make sure you go to jimmydoor.com.
Establishment media sets of augment fighting.
So good luck with bullshit we can't afford.
Like moment in this boat.
Watch and see as a jackdog comedian who speeds and jumps comedium and hits him hit on.
It's the chimney door show.
Joe Biden called into Morning Joe Ball.
And so this describes it as a very defiant and frustrated Joe Biden on Morning Joe dares the elites in the Democratic Party to challenge him at the convention.
So this has really happened.
So listen to this.
The American public is not going to move away from me as the average voter.
And again, I'm here for two reasons, pal.
One, to rebuild the economy for hard-working middle-class people, give everybody a shot.
That's a straight shot.
Jack, shot.
Give it a straight shot.
Best Biden ever.
Mr. President, you already tried giving everybody a shot, and we're still recovering from the side effects.
Okay?
Here we go.
The American public is not going to move away from me as the average voter.
And again, I'm here for two reasons, pal.
One.
So he's trying to pretend that the average voter is why he's president.
Now, look, we all remember that nobody Barack Obama had to make the phone call and to get everybody else to drop out because Bernie Sanders was going to become the Democratic nominee.
Now, you remember that in 2020?
Yes, I do remember that.
Yes.
And they let Elizabeth Warren stay in to split Bernie's votes.
Well, but Biden's the first black woman to be the black president.
He's the first black woman.
Vice President.
Okay.
The American public is not going to move away from me as the average voter.
And again, I'm here for two reasons, pal.
One, to rebuild the economy for hard-working middle-class people, give everybody a shot.
That's a straight shot.
Everybody gets a fair chance.
You mandated that shot that the Supreme Court overturned you.
Free shot and a booster.
And a booster.
Number one.
Number two.
Remember, all this talk about.
Number two, I did in my pants right in front of McCrone.
Okay, I can't stand it.
The American public is not going to move away from me as the average voter.
And again, I'm here for two reasons, pal.
One, to rebuild the economy for hard-working middle-class people, give everybody a shot.
That's a straight shot.
Everybody gets a fair chance.
Number one.
Number two, remember all this talk about how I don't have the black support?
Come on, give me a break.
Oh.
That's it.
All he says is, come on, give me a break.
Joe better watch it, Joe Scarborough, because he's about to not be black any second now.
Any second.
I love how he just has to sit there and take it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Come with me.
Watch.
Watch.
I'm getting so frustrated by the elites.
No, I'm not talking about you guys, but about the elite in the party.
I'm not talking about you slow pokes.
I'm not talking about you.
I'm talking about you guys who host a television show.
They're not the elite.
By the way, Joe Biden, Joe Scarborough, called for you to drop out.
He likes to see.
So you are talking about him.
Okay.
Hang on.
Chatty.
I like how he says, you're not the elites.
You guys are just scrubs.
You guys are the B team.
Come on, give me a break.
Come with me.
Watch.
Watch.
I'm getting so frustrated by the elites.
No, I'm not talking about you guys, but about the elites.
The elites.
Keith Oberman.
Who does he consider the elites now?
Anybody who could make it to a urinal without standing there peeing randomly?
Who does he mean elite?
Here we go.
The party.
They know so much more.
But then these guys don't think I should let them run against me.
Go ahead.
Announce the president.
Challenge me in the convention.
Oh, man.
It's called a shadow government, Mr. President.
They stay in the shadows.
Run against.
So there he is.
He has a shot.
F you.
If you can't.
If you can't have F you.
I hate his stupid action.
Well, I wish I would have got.
There were more clips to that I saw on Twitter I should have grabbed where he was, again, incoherent.
Should like clip him with Jim Scarborough saying F you and then fighting.
He said that Donald Trump, he lied 50 times because it went from 28 now to 50.
And then they said, and he goes like when he said 10%.
Ah, forget it.
He could even name one.
I can't believe I don't have that question.
Do you know Donald Trump had over 80,000 lies during his now?
Sure, I'll give him like 10,000 lies.
I'll give Biden 30 lies at the debate, but 80 lies, Jimmy?
That's too many lies.
So you want to hear.
So here's a guy.
Here's a guy who spent four years in a foxhole in Da Nang.
We thought it'd be funny if we replaced everyone in his apartment complex with Viet Cong.
Now, what is that?
That's this guy, Kevin.
Candy Camera?
Yeah.
He's on that guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That used to be like a rated X show.
There's like a 30 version that couldn't be on TV.
Yeah.
I never rented it, but he used to be on VHS.
It was like all like naked pranks and it was killing him.
Oh, no kidding.
Yeah, like too hot for TV, I guess.
Oh, no kidding.
Weird as hell.
I didn't know that.
My friend Kevin from Milwaukee has the funniest bit about it ever.
He would do all those.
Here's a guy who spent four years in a fox.
It was Alan Funt.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Alan Funt.
In Da Nang.
Yeah.
We thought it'd be funny if we replaced everyone in his apartment complex with Viet Cong.
Now, let's watch the fun as he goes to pay his rent.
He was better than Bob Sagett as the video guy.
Yeah, I mean, Bob was Bob was good.
I like Bob.
He was a nice guy.
I mean, as an announcer of the things.
Yeah.
So now this is Representative Adam Smith.
He says the quiet powder out loud: how the elites in the Democratic establishment didn't want Bernie Sanders in 2020 and picked Joe Biden.
So Joe Biden's saying it's the elites who don't want him in.
It's the regular people.
The only reason you're in is because of the elites.
Here we go.
Watch this.
I got to make one other point.
Yeah.
So the president talked today about how now it's all the elites who are trying to force him out.
Let's remember what happened in 2020.
Okay.
The president did not run a great primary campaign.
He lost badly in Iowa, New Hampshire, and Nevada.
He came out of Nevada and Bernie Sanders looked like the presumptive nominee.
And this exact same group of people that the president is now deriding as elites.
And by the way, they're not.
They're Democrats.
Okay.
They're party operatives.
They're donors.
They're volunteers.
Decided and I like how he said the party operatives, the donors, the volunteers.
They decided.
The volunteers decided.
The volunteers decided that the Bernie supporters out there, I'm not judging this positively or negatively.
They decided they didn't want Bernie Sanders to be the nominee.
Really?
So operatives?
So operatives?
So not the actual people voting.
The people that work in getting people elected.
Yes.
So this not actually, again, not the voters.
The voters were picking Bernie Sanders.
So Biden's right to be talking to the elite.
So he's going to tell you.
Right.
So Biden's like, hey, I know you don't need to vote.
That's what he's saying.
So let's listen to this.
Ready?
He lost badly in Iowa, New Hampshire, and Nevada.
He came out of Nevada, and Bernie Sanders looked like the presumptive nominee.
And this exact same group of people that the president is now deriding as elites.
And by the way, they're not.
They're Democrats.
Okay.
They're party operatives.
They're not elites.
They're Democrats.
Party operatives don't.
So he says they're party operatives.
They're donors.
They're donors.
They're volunteers.
They're volunteers.
Did he just throw in volunteer at the end to try to make something that wasn't purely state-sounding?
Hey, when you're done stuffing those envelopes, I need you to jump on a Zoom call with Obama and Jamie Dimon to talk about getting Boudigig and Klobuchar to drop out and endorse Biden.
When you're done doing your door knocking today, I need you to hop out of Zoom with Obama so we can make sure that Joe Biden.
Who's that kid that gets coffee?
Get on the whole Obama.
Get it.
We got a Zoom call.
He talks about volunteers.
He's talking about people like Jamie Dimon and Bill Gates.
You know, the people who volunteer their time and their money.
Abigail, the great Abigail Disney.
They're not elites.
They're volunteers.
But look at he says the quiet part out loud.
He says the voters didn't decide.
It was the party operatives and the donors who decided that Bernie, they didn't want Bernie Sanders to be.
He just let he's, and it goes right past Jake Tapper.
Of course it does.
Here we go.
Watch this.
I'm going to play it again.
I want to hear what I want to hear to him say it one more time.
Now deriding as elites.
And by the way, they're not.
They're Democrats.
Okay.
They're party operatives.
They're donors.
They're volunteers.
Decided, and to all the Bernie supporters out there, I'm not judging this positively or negatively.
They decided they didn't want Bernie Sanders to be the nominee.
They decided that Joe Biden would be the better nominee.
So you think you'd leave it up to the voters?
No.
You think you'd try to what?
Well, because I've had it with Biden's elite bashing.
But he's talking about 2020.
Yeah.
So the Democratic Party doesn't leave it up to the vote.
The people who say that democracy is on the ballot, they let a bunch of insiders decide that the people were picking Bernie Sanders.
Sorry.
I said Democratocracy, not democracy.
Yes.
Credit again to the president.
He decided that because he did eight years as vice president.
He did the years in the Senate.
He had the record to be a strong president.
And so they, through their support behind Joe Biden and Pete Buddhajudge and Elizabeth Warren and Mike Bloomberg and Amy Klobuchar, and I may be forgetting a few others, stepped aside for the candidate who was better.
This myth.
Why was he better?
Okay, so why would he be better if everybody didn't want him except for some very rich people?
That's right.
So this is the party that says democracy's on the ballot.
They decided to rig their primary, have all those people step aside, and then at the behest of the donor class.
That's what he's saying.
The donors decided, and party operatives, we got to submarine this guy, Bernie Sanders, who's going to become the nominee.
And how do we do it?
We get all these people to drop out except for Elizabeth Ward so we could split his support.
And then we all throw our support behind Joe Biden.
And then we have her smear him as saying a woman can't win.
Yeah, we have her lie about Bernie that he's a sexist, even though that's what we're trying to say about.
I'm sick of his toxic masculinity all the time.
Oh, Bernie, with his never knows how to give, you know, give a little.
Don't you always have to go charge in like a bull to try to get your agenda done like an alpha man.
Oh, he doesn't know how to compromise.
That's the problem.
Somehow, Joe Biden came in and rescued us.
It has been a nationwide movement since Donald Trump was elected president.
And in 2020, that nationwide movement said, Joe, you're the best guy.
Let's go.
Right now, they don't think it wasn't because they thought Joe Biden was the best guy to win the presidency.
They wanted, they didn't want Bernie Sanders and his brand of lefty progressivism as president.
They want the donor class wanted a reliable tool like Joe Biden.
Who's the donor?
Wall Street, mostly Wall Street, wanted to make sure that Joe Biden was president and not Bernie Sanders because Bernie Sanders might actually regulate them a little.
Maybe he wouldn't.
Now we know he wouldn't do anything.
That's the whole thing.
That's the biggest pushover.
He's worse than Biden.
He's yes.
They don't even like the way he talks.
That's right.
I don't even want to hear that billionaire.
Millionaires and billionaires.
Yeah.
You got to talk about it.
And the insurance companies and the big pharma, they didn't want to hear Bernie Sanders talking about Medicare for all.
Nothing.
And so they're the ones who chose.
So again, you don't get to vote.
This idea that you get, you get your candidates are chosen by a donor class.
Okay.
He is.
So I'll pop play that all the way through.
I'm going to make one other point.
Yeah.
So the president talked today about how now it's all the elites who are trying to force him out.
Let's remember what happened in 2020.
Okay.
The president did not run a great primary campaign.
He lost badly in Iowa, New Hampshire, and Nevada.
He's losing his ass.
He's not in Nevada.
And Bernie Sanders looked like the presumptive nominee.
And this exact same group of people that the president is now deriding as elites.
And by the way, they're not.
They're Democrats.
Okay.
They're party operatives, they're donors, they're volunteers decided.
And to all the Bernie supporters out there, I'm not judging this positively or negatively.
They decided they didn't want Bernie Sanders to be the nominee.
They decided that Joe Biden would be the better nominee.
And credit, again, to the president.
He decided that because he did eight years as vice president, he did the years in the Senate.
He had the record to be a strong president.
And so they, through their support, behind Joe Biden.
They decided Pete Buttajudge and Elizabeth Warren and Mike Bloomberg and Amy Klobuchar, and I may be forgetting a few others, stepped aside for the candidate who is better.
This myth that somehow Joe Biden came in and rescued us, it has been a nationwide movement since Donald Trump was elected president.
And in 2020, that nationwide movement said, Joe, you're the best guy, let's go.
Right now, they don't think he is.
So let's just remember: looking for Obama's hidden hand and candidates coalescing around Biden.
Pressure increases on Mike Bloomberg as candidates exit the race and back Joe Biden.
So even NBC was saying this was coming from Obama.
Again, Obama the biggest tool of Wall Street, which is why as soon as he left the White House, he went right to Wall Street and did speech after speech for millions of dollars.
And his cabinet did the exact same thing.
There were headlines about no cabinet went faster from the White House to Wall Street than Barack Obama's cabinet.
Of course, we know his entire cabinet was chosen by Wall Street.
There was an email revealed from Citibank or Citigroup.
And there's a list of people that Citigroup, meaning Wall Street, wanted in his campaign in his White House.
Every person on that list ended up in Barack Obama's White House.
And how do we know about that list?
Because Julian Assange revealed it through WikiLeaks.
So that's who's choosing your president.
And then you get to vote for whoever Wall Street chose.
Why they even, why don't they?
And that's why they hate Donald Trump because they didn't choose him.
No, they didn't choose him.
No, they had a role he was supposed to do.
He's supposed to be the breakout hit.
That's right.
But why?
Okay.
One, as you know, Biden's still my guy.
And I've made that clear over and over again.
Okay.
I'm with Whippy Goldberg on this one.
Hey, I have poopy days too.
But I just want to warn, Mr. President, if Obama calls you up to go on any like naked paddleboarding trips, do not go.
He's going to tell you about the rabbits, if you know what I mean.
I love how they say that he did his, you know, he did his time as vice president.
His time as vice president.
The only reason Joe Biden was vice president was for two reasons.
To assure the white racists that we're going to have a racist guy like Joe Biden keeping an eye on Barack Obama.
Right.
Right.
So you could vote for a guy with the Muslim name.
Right.
Right.
And assassination insurance because nobody wanted Joe Biden to become president, just like Kamala Harris is for him.
The old Dan Quayle.
That's right.
Nobody wants Kamala Harris.
Wow.
That's right.
Boy, every president must think that way.
Like, who's the guy that no one wants to be president if they kill me?
That's right.
Oh, but hey, be careful.
You don't want to have Joe Biden, Joe Pocalypse as president.
Oh, my God.
And here's a little more.
Accelerate the endgame, Obama's role in wrapping up the primary.
So this is from April 14th, 2020.
So this was that's who did.
So he got his marching orders from Wall Street and the donor class, and he came and did it and did it.
And you can't have a Pete Buddha gig go up against Barack Obama.
So they all completely bent the knee and got out.
Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show: you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
And it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Clandestine tweets out.
Wow, the talking points went out.
MSNBC propagandist Ali Belci perfectly encapsulates the deep state narrative moving forward.
Their plan is to make you ignore Biden's senility by convincing you that Trump is a threat to our democracy.
This is the enemy's playbook.
This is kind of wild.
Watch this.
Those of us who see Donald Trump as a threat to democracy agree that he must be defeated in November.
From trying to overturn the last election he lost to promising to use the force of law to trying to overturn the last election he lost.
And what did he do?
He did it by legal means, like he went to court.
Oh, no, he told those people on January 6th to go overthrow the government, but leave your guns at home.
That was an FBI psyop, January 6th.
But that's just, they just get to say it.
They just get to keep saying it.
Zach revenge on his enemies if he returns to power to the 900-plus page playbook known as Project 2025, which lays out a detailed plan for seizing and consolidating power.
They're still doing this.
This is MSNBC.
Five years after that stupid Russia gate has been officially debunked by the Mueller report, absolutely no evidence.
They're still doing this.
This is like as if the CIA had their own TV show.
This is like North Korea level of propaganda.
This is unbelievable.
This is all propaganda.
And he's bringing up Project 2025.
You know what I'm more worried about?
Project 2024.
You know what that threat to democracy is?
When you bomb the shit out of a cage population, half of whom are children.
You don't think that endangers their democracy?
It also endangers their limbs.
I can't even look at the pictures when I'm on Twitter and a picture comes up of a baby burnt to a crisp or their jaw blown off or their arm.
I can't even look at it.
And that's what the guy he wants you to vote for is doing.
And he's doing this stuff.
This high school level propaganda.
Calling him a traitor.
Who's the juvenile?
This is what you got?
The danger is clear and present.
The danger is clear and present.
We seem to have lost sight of all of this in the last nine days for some valid reasons.
Since President Joe Biden's performance in the first presidential debate, there's been much debate among the punditry about his competency to run, along with justified anger toward the.
I like that he tripped over the word competency.
Cop competency that surrounds him.
But without dismissing the legitimacy of those concerns, this election remains about one thing and one thing only, the threat of losing our democracy.
And that is where our efforts at convincing one another.
Again, this idea that somehow if Donald Trump gets elected through a democratic process, that our democracy is going to...
Just like your tie on your chin, Velchi.
Our democracy is gone.
We don't live in a democracy.
We live in an oligarchy.
That was proven by a Princeton study over 10 years ago.
Our candidates are chosen by an oligarchy.
We don't get the truth.
You think Joe Biden was actually chosen?
They did a rigged primary.
They did a rigged primary in 2016.
They did a rigged primary in 2020.
They did a rigged primary this year.
They wouldn't let RFK, any of his delegates count in Iowa.
First of all, they switched it from Iowa, New Hampshire to South Carolina because that favors Joe Biden.
And then they said if RFK Jr. campaigned in Iowa or New Hampshire, that all of his delegates wouldn't count.
And in fact, they would take his delegates and give them to the winner.
It's a rigged primary.
Plus, they wouldn't have debates.
Plus, they got hacks like you to do smear pieces on anybody who could actually stand up to Joe Biden in a primary.
They get three.
There's no democracy.
This idea that this guy being paid by billionaires to A, lie about every war.
He blocked me, by the way, because he was lying about Ukraine.
And I informed him about Ukraine and he blocked me.
He's one of those guys who pretends that, A, Russia Gate is real.
He pretends that the Ukraine war started because Putin just woke up one day and decided to invade Ukraine.
That's it.
That's all the info.
So these are called garbage people.
This is a garbage person getting paid a lot of money to do propaganda, which is another word for lying.
And that's what he's doing.
And all they got is scaring you.
Other need to be spent.
You can list all of Biden's flaws, and you'd still be left with the same conclusion.
Only one of the two main presidential candidates poses an existing.
I like this.
Now they're trying to smear Donald Trump.
It's all the most incendiary, dirty tricks.
Look, these are Trump supporters.
I don't know how you know it's a Trump supporter because he doesn't have a Trump thing on, but he just has never accept integration and he has a Confederate flag.
And there's a black person there.
Now, Joe Biden is the reason why black and brown people are locked up in prison right now, not Donald Trump, at way higher rates, black and brown people incarcerated, way higher rates than their population.
Why?
Because Joe Biden, he put black and brown people Through the crime bill, which he brags about still to this day.
He put black and brown people in prison for things his son has three laptops full of pictures of him doing.
He wants us to have sympathy for his kid, who's a crackhead.
But he wants all the black and brown people from the inner city who are overpoliced locked up for it.
Donald Trump actually did the STEP Act, which let black people out of prison, which is why he's getting 20% of the black vote.
Again, I'm not voting for Donald Trump.
I'm not a fan of Donald Trump.
He's another billionaire.
He populated his entire cabinet with the swamp.
And he didn't free Julian Assange.
He prosecuted Julian Assange.
He didn't pardon Edward Snowden.
And he didn't release the JFK stuff.
He didn't bring jobs back to America.
He didn't make sure everybody had health care.
He didn't do any of that stuff.
And he did Project Warp Speed.
Um...
Thank you.
But this is such gutter politics.
But that's why he's hired.
And by the way, did Ari Velchi, did Velchi scream when they fired all the Arab reporters because of the Israel Gaza?
No, he's, I'll, I'll keep taking that money.
So you think this guy has any dignity, pride, integrity?
They don't.
Nobody who works there does.
That's why they work there.
That's why they find a lesbian who has no integrity.
That's why they find a nerd like Chris Hayes, who has no integrity.
That's why they find fake tough guy Lawrence O'Donnell who has no integrity to go do the bidding of the billionaire class.
And that's what he's doing.
Be left with the same conclusion.
Only one of the two main presidential candidates poses an existential threat to democracy.
No doubt Biden's debate performance was a collective shock to the system, in part a consequence of mounting frustrations in recent years that reached a climax that evening.
So they put this homosex in.
Again, this is all they're implying.
This is what Trump and Maga is about.
You know, Donald Trump, I learned this through Blair White.
He was the only president who entered the White House in support of gay marriage.
He was the first president in the history of the United States to enter the White House in support of gay marriage.
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump just had a gay wedding at his Mar-a-Largo at his house.
He just had a gay wedding at his house.
So again, this is just the establishment.
They got their tool, their willing tool.
By the way, he's Canadian, eh?
He's from Canada.
And here he is doing the, I mean, you're running against someone who you claim is dishonest and a liar, and you're doing it in the most dishonest, gutter politics way possible.
And this is not a defense of Donald Trump or encouraging anybody to vote for Donald Trump.
This is me pointing out what pieces of garbage.
And this is what actually makes people want to vote for Donald Trump.
Thank you.
Barack Obama, when he entered the White House, was against gay marriage.
Joe Biden, when he entered the White House as vice president, was against gay marriage.
Donald Trump for gay marriage when he entered the White House, first president in history.
Reached a climax that evening.
Since witnessing a mob of extremists overtake the nation's capital, we've been battered by a series of hey, how many Trumps, how many FBI agents did you have dressed as Trump supporters inside the Capitol before the riot?
The FBI wouldn't answer that question.
The head of the FBI, Christopher Ray, would not answer that question when asked by a congressman.
Hey, how many FBI assets did you have dressed up as MAGA supporters inside the Capitol before the riot started?
Wouldn't answer that question.
That was an FBI psyop, and it was intended to do exactly what they're doing, to scare people about Donald Trump and his movement and to criminalize them.
And if Donald Trump tried to overthrow the government, why isn't he being charged with that crime?
Why isn't he being charged with an insurrection?
He's being charged with paying off a hooker, which Bill Clinton did publicly.
He's being charged for inflating the value of his real estate.
Really?
And the people prosecuting him in Atlanta are revealed to be bigger liars than Trump ever was, and they've lied to the court.
That have shaken this nation's foundations to its core.
From the battle to rewrite American history in our schools to book bans and organized efforts led by extremist judges, attorneys general, and Christian nationalists to force forces to roll back civil rights.
Before we can fully process one crisis, we're hit with another.
For so long, many of us naively believe that our democracy is infallible.
These threats can never flourish.
Bans off my body, bans off my body.
But you guys didn't feel that way when it came to the vaccine, right?
Because you guys, it wasn't my body, my choice.
It was the government's choice, and it was my body.
It was my employer's choice, and it was my body.
So you guys aren't my body, my choice.
That's a lie.
But the actions of extremists in recent years, with the help from the Supreme Court, have shattered that illusion, leading us to this moment.
Why did they show this picture twice?
Why did they show?
What am I supposed to be?
Does Velshi hate Lindsey Graham or Huckleberry Finn?
Which one is it?
Which one is it in shadow?
And Why did they show this twice?
Did Comcast buy the Twain estate?
Age, the confusion, the bickering are all different and valid manifestations of our collective anguish.
We grieve that our 248-year-old democracy has reached this precarious point, teetering on the edge of uncertainty.
But now more than ever, it's crucial that we hold our ground.
It's crucial that we maintain perspective.
Whatever.
Again, you know, the easiest way you would have to do this if Joe Biden just did any of the things he campaigned on.
If Joe Biden actually gave us the public option for health care, I'd vote for him.
But he won't.
The Democrats don't even bring it up.
They don't even bring up the things he ran on.
Minimum wage.
He ran on raising the minimum wage.
He ran on the public option.
He ran on helping workers.
And what is he?
He's a neocon maniac, warmongering enemy of the workers.
He crushed a railroad strike.
He's pledged to deny us health care and has done it.
He mandated a vaccine that was at the behest of big pharma.
The Supreme Court had to stop him.
That Supreme Court, he wants to scare you about, had to stop them from mandating experimental medical treatments the government could force you to take.
Happens with Biden, whether he steps aside or stays the course, the Democratic nominee, any Democratic nominee, will be a better option than the alternative.
Any Democratic nominee.
Bonus points if it's a Cheney.
Ha!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Which is the downfall of American democracy.
None of this discussion.
The downfall of American democracy is cable news, is corporate news.
That's a downfall of American democracy.
The downfall of American democracy is when you all cover for the current administration trying to prosecute their biggest political opponent and criminalize his political movement.
That's what makes, that's what ends democracy.
You guys cheering on the corporate takeover of our government.
Because we don't live in a democracy.
We live in an oligarchy.
Democracy law left a long time ago.
This is North Korea-level propaganda you're watching at MSNBC.
And you want to see how much they care about democracy?
They love, they love, just as Chris Hedges say, they know the words.
As they're working in service of the oligarchy, they pretend they're defending your democracy.
Remember this?
Remember this?
And this is the same thing.
This is extremely dangerous to our democracy.
These MACA Republicans who are maybe democracy is something I don't, they don't look at it the same way you and I look at democracy.
So, boy, that's the hardest casting call I've ever been to.
Can we see their legs?
No.
Anyway, I just wanted to show you that.
That was stunning to me to watch Velchi.
Like, that is unhinged.
That is the gutter of all gutter politics.
And not one thing will they say, hey, Joe Biden, why don't you actually go try to do something for people?
Why don't you do a version of the step back?
No, I'll give him Juneteenth as a holiday.
I'm not actually going to do anything for people, but I will virtue signal.
Why don't you actually go give people the public option that you ran on or a minimum wage?
Why don't you end the war and invest that money back at home?
Why don't you stop financing proxy wars?
Jake Tapper aired Joe Biden's embarrassing clips and his facial expressions and comments are very priceless.
Here, let's watch this.
Here we go.
In reality, 72% of voters say that they believe President Biden is too old.
That's according to CNN's most recent polling.
Voters have been saying this for quite a long time.
The reality is that the Democratic elites are mostly late to acknowledge these age and ability.
You don't want to.
As are you, Jake.
Dude, it's on you.
The elites paid for him.
That's right.
Waste their money.
They're going to waste their money?
You're the one who's supposed to report it, Jake.
I'm going to make Biden face the whole time I watch this.
I'm going to go compared to the rest of the public.
The elites have been forced to reckon with it after the debate just 11 days ago.
Look at my career.
I've not had many of those nights.
It was a terrible night, and I really regret it happened.
But the fact of the matter is, how can you assure you're going to be on, you know, fake doctor interviewing on your way to go to work tomorrow?
What?
Age wasn't.
What?
know, the idea is I'm too old.
The fact of the matter is, how can you assure you're going to be out on, you know, on your way to go, you know, work tomorrow, age, age wasn't, you know, the idea that I...
No.
Oh.
So hold on.
Jake Tapper just discovered reading transcripts of Biden's gibberish.
Yes.
That we've done for three years straight.
Yes.
And then when it wasn't gibberish, it was totally.
So now Jake Tapper, just like Jon Stewart, just like Joe Scarborough, just like Anderson Cooper, they all got permission to tell the truth about Joe Biden's dementia.
all of a sudden got permission.
The only people that were Telling you the truth about it was right at this show.
We've been saying that Joe Biden is a walking demented death rattle since 2019.
And the only reason, and that's not to make fun of his illness, that's to make fun of how hard that the establishment and the media like Jake Tapper has been lying to.
Just five seconds ago, he's been saying these were cheap fakes.
I was making fun of his illness.
Fuck him.
Whoa.
So let's, I, I, all of a sudden, that's how you know what a good idea.
Here we go.
The fact of the matter is, how can you assure you're going to be out on, you know, on your way to go, you know, work tomorrow age, age wasn't, you know, the idea that I'm too old.
Keep in mind, that sounds like it's supposed to be reassuring to those Democratic supporters who have gone wrong.
Did you watch the debate afterwards?
I don't think I did.
No.
He doesn't think he did.
He called into a couple of black radio stations where he said, among other things, this.
By the way, I'm proud to be, as I said, the first vice president, first black woman, black president.
I'm proud too.
I'm proud to have the first black woman in the Supreme Court.
There's so much that we can do because together, there's nothing.
Look, this is the United States of America.
What?
He's proud to be the first black woman.
Not coherent.
And even then, we later found out.
They gave them, we already covered it, because so Jake's, but we covered it.
Joe Biden was, he gave that interviewer the question and he still couldn't answer it.
Yeah, here's what I want to answer.
I want to say the word black about 50 times and then say, we could do anything about it.
Look.
Look, look.
What question would that possibly have been that that would be the answer?
Later from the radio host that the Biden campaign had given her a list of questions to ask President Biden.
That is a huge no-no in journalism, and the host was fired for it, but it remains quite telling that in the Biden campaign's efforts to show that the president has not missed a step, his campaign felt the need to feed questions to the hosts for a call-in radio interview.
And the president still, even then, failed to deliver in many of his answers.
Now, many elected Democrats are expressing concern about this answer too, although it was quite coherent.
George Stephanopoulos asking him how he would feel if he ultimately loses to Donald Trump, which polls have suggested he will.
I feel as long as I gave it my all, I did the goodest job as I'm not going to do the goodest job.
That's what this is about.
As long as he gave it his all and did the goodest job he could do.
No.
That's what it's all about.
I'm debunking this.
As long as I did my, I played the first part, and the goodest job as I know I can do.
It's really specific wording.
I want to make t-shirts of it.
And then, like, you know, like the eyes.
He's the goodest president.
Yeah, where his eyes are, I would just make his ears the glowing coming out.
I don't even know what the headline of this video should be.
They're all just now, so they all just got permission, and they're all acting like they're truth tellers.
That chick from the black radio station, I saw them talking to her, and they go, so he gave you questions to approve.
She goes, yeah, but I approved four.
I approve it.
They gave me eight.
I only did four.
Yeah, so she doesn't know.
I mean, she got fired.
All these assholes get pre-approved questions.
Yes.
You think they have spontaneous until George Stephanopoulos wants him out.
Yeah.
Probably they didn't film the questions.
What's her name?
Bill Maher.
We already played that clip of, I forget her name.
I just met her too on Gutfeld.
But she's telling him, she was on a show with Bill Maher and Biden was going on about how he played football.
I forget her name.
Yeah, I forget, yeah.
It's like Fox.
Yes, he didn't.
Yeah.
And so she said there were pre-approved questions.
Bill Maher's reading pre-approved questions.
Everyone's doing that.
Who the hell isn't getting pre-approved questions?
You're going to fire one black chick that doesn't, they tricked, basically, because she didn't know.
Right.
Don't do that.
She goes, no, I chose.
So it's not.
Maybe that's not the first time they gave questions to somebody.
Yeah, all these people are going to keep their jobs.
That's right.
And why didn't CNN ever report it before that?
Because you weren't allowed to.
Now they're allowed to do that because it's throwing Joe Biden under the bus.
And the donor class wants to get rid of Joe Biden.
So they're trying to humiliate him and embarrass him and tell all the truths about him.
And that's what's happening now.
Yeah.
That's what George Clooney wrote an op-ed.
George Clooney is a billionaire donor.
Yeah.
Think of it like that.
Man, how do you make a billion dollars inventing a tequila cook?
How much George Foreman made?
A billion, but a billion?
I mean, George Foreman maybe made $50, $60 million.
A billion dollars?
Well, listen.
If off at Tequila, there's already.
Look, look, you already know.
I don't even know what the name of the tequila company is.
Do you know?
No, I don't.
I don't even know the name of it.
Yeah.
Well, if Diddy, that's why Diddy sued that liquor distributor that he put his, because he makes his money from Bob.
What's the name of George Clooney's tequila company?
Oh, Casamigos?
Yes.
It's all like true.
He founded it in 2013 with Rand Gerber and Michael Meldman.
I think it's alright now.
Rand Gerber.
In 2013.
Wow.
Right after the end of the day.
When did George Clooney sell his tequila company?
It just says a billion dollars.
Yes, you know how Diddy was, he suddenly got arrested because he went to sue his liquor.
I can't remember what they're called, because he said they're being racist because George Clooney has a billion dollars from his tequila.
And Diddy doesn't have a billion dollars.
So that's like, oh, okay, now we're going to go release embarrassing videos and all the crimes you do.
You bit the hand that fed you.
So Clooney never bit the hand that fed you.
So why would George Clooney do those Nespresso commercials?
The only thing I can think of is maybe he did that and he gave all that money to charity or something.
Or why would you be doing espresso commercials if you already have a billion dollars?
I don't know.
I'm sure he works at the CIA in some capacity.
So it's probably, you know, it's probably something more just like Diddy Dale, just like all of them.
Hugh Hefner did.
All these guys with a billion dollars And they're swinging bachelor.
Hey, I'll see you on tour in Las Vegas, Chicago, and Grand Rapids in Chicago.
It's stand-up and a live panel show.
Go to jimmydoor.com for a link for tickets and make sure you go to jimmydoor.com.
So Joe Biden is doing the NATO summit.
And he gave a speech.
And it sounded like he said, I realize after effing your wife.
And then it's what it sounds like.
And then he also sounds like he calls somebody a wigger.
Yeah, that's what the claims are.
Now, I watched this on a big screen and slowed it down.
He's a mumbler.
He's a mumbler.
So let's watch it and then we'll get to it.
Here we go.
Secretary of Guyana's Alliance through one of the most consequential periods in its history.
I realize it's already, but it's already.
You already can't.
Do you think the sign language lady is going?
How did she?
She looks like she's going.
Yeah, does she have what she looks like right there?
She's like, does she have a transcript that she's possibly go off of what he's saying?
Because that's how you'd prove what he's saying either way, is of her sign language was like, fucking what they need is not only a sign language lady for the herring impairment, but they need the regular person there to tell you what he just said with their mouth.
Yeah.
Two on each side.
Two on each side.
Like, see what did that?
He would go, he just said.
A translator into English from Biden.
Here we go.
Secretary of Guyana's Alliance through one of the most consequential periods in its history.
I realize you were talking to your wife.
I personally asked you to extend your service.
So now some people think that he said, I realize I was effing your wife, but it's obviously he just he was trying to say talking to your wife.
Right.
Right, but he's such a speech-slurring mumbler.
Yeah.
People thought he said, I mean, the beginning of the, by the way, I think he's going to be starring in Martin Scorsese's new film called Raging Bullshit.
You fuck my wife?
Here we go.
I don't know.
The Secretary of Guy's Alliance through one of the most consequential periods in its history.
I realize.
Oh, he's trying to say one of the most consequential periods in its history.
But when it comes out, it's supposed to go to Kat Kudukenba de history.
That's what it comes out as.
Secretary of Guyana's Alliance through one of the most consequential periods in its history.
I realize you were talking to your wife.
I personally asked you to extend your service.
Forgive me.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Everybody was like, did he just say that?
Yes.
That's what everybody was like.
He's like, oh, you're with me?
Okay.
I mean, it's sure, it's easy to poke fun at Biden for being a stutterer, but as long as he gave it his all and he did his goodest job, as we know he can do, that's what this is all about, doing his goodest job.
As long as I did my goodest job, as I know I can do.
He said goodest.
We didn't play that part of the show.
We should have.
Do as your goodest job is, you know, your goodest.
Yeah, so anyway, I know it sounds like Biden saying, effing this guy's wife, but what he actually said was, I was talking to your wife, which actually makes way less sense.
The voting thing made more sense.
Yeah.
Like he brought him on stage, like to tell me Clooney pranked him.
I fucking just wife.
Yeah.
Here's Biden's latest gaffe leaves NATO in stitches.
In an unexpected twist, Joe Biden called the NATO Secretary an intellectual wigger and dished out a cringeworthy comment about his wife.
Was it an attempt to stand to do stand-up comedy?
This world's wondering if Biden's prepping for a Netflix NATO special.
Here it is, let's listen.
So much of the progress we've made, the Alliance is thanked to the Secretary.
Again, he starts off.
You don't know what he's saying.
The problems we've made in the Alliance.
So much of the progress we've made, the Alliance.
Progress.
Progress.
So much of the problem we've made.
So much of the progress we've made, the Alliance is thanked to the Secretary.
He's a man of integrity and intellectual rigor.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
He's a man of integrity, an intellectual wigger.
That's my intellectual wigger.
You know, that came first, that part in this speech.
Okay.
So if they were like, because that's the thing you hear, you're like, maybe he's saying rigor, I'm sure.
Yeah.
And then they say, he's fucking his wife.
Okay.
So basically, the world's going to end because no one understood what the president is saying.
Or maybe the world will end if they do understand it.
Could be either way.
That's some true international dumbbell pressure.
True, we're actually above dumbbell pressure.
Here we go.
So much of the progress we've made, the alliance is thanks to the secretary.
He's a man of integrity and intellectual rigor.
What does he say at the end of that?
So much of the progress we've made, the alliance is thanks to the secretary.
He's a man of integrity and intellectual rigor.
A calm temperament, a moment of crisis.
Top talk about Tyler Hawker's talking.
It's like, it's just, there's no way this guy hangs on for another month.
I gave him my hearing check because I'm going deaf too.
So head talking extra low now.
I can't.
Could anybody, could you understand what he said?
No.
Oh, so you didn't get it the first three times I played it.
No, okay.
So much of the progress we've made, the alliance is thanked to the secretary.
He's a man of integrity and intellectual rigor.
A calm temperament, the moment of crisis.
in a moment of crack Hey, become a premium member.
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Freak out.
Freak out.
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All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable, Mike McRae.
He can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.