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May 3, 2024 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:26
20240503_TJDS_20240503_Podcast_-_5224_12.38PM
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Hey, come see us do a live show.
We're going to be in Denver, Colorado, May 11th, Los Angeles, California, doing a live panel show with a celebrity panel and video.
Ashland, Virginia, Athens, Georgia, Rutherford, New Jersey, with Max Blumenthal, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Ontario, California, Irvine, California, Chicago, Illinois, with another celebrity panel, live video show in Chicago, and Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Go to JimmyDoor.com for a link for tickets.
JimmyDoor.com for a link for tickets.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy's present, Joe Biden.
Oh, hey, Mr. President.
How are you?
Jimmy, I'm relieved.
And I'm calling your show to let you know, let you and your listeners know that you are safe now.
Safe.
Yes, the danger has been averted.
You can breathe easy knowing it's all over.
What are you talking about?
These anti-Semitic college protests where anti-Semitic student protesters were protesting the existence of Jewish people.
We put a stop to that.
You know, actually, I think they were protesting the wholesale slaughter of Palestinians by the Israeli government.
No.
Yes.
No.
It was anti-Semitism.
What you said is wrong and can't be true.
Why not?
Because me and other Americans of my generation cannot possibly fathom caring about Muslim lives.
Therefore, we find it inconceivable that anyone else could either.
Thus, the actual purpose of these protests must have been anti-Semitism, the world's greatest evil.
Jimmy, this is airtight logic.
Yes, clearly.
So that's why we had to brand these college protests as acts of terror and send in the militarized police to brutalize teenagers to protect the lives of Jewish people because of anti-Semitism.
So these were terrorists?
Absolutely.
Make no mistake about it.
Anti-Semitic terrorists.
Did I say anti-Semitism?
And they had help from the outside.
From whom, it's not clear yet.
And it never is.
You just have to make that claim and people will believe it.
Depends on who you're trying to convince.
Some people say George Soros.
Some people say Hamas, whoever your boogeyman is.
I see.
That's interesting.
But clearly, these were professional agitators at work here.
Jimmy, this very morning, the deputy commissioner of the NYPD.
And let's all take a moment to thank these brave American heroes for their tireless work bringing peace to Columbia University.
They went on, this man went on Morning Joe on MSMEC and brought the chain that was used to secure the doors to Hamilton Hall.
As he pointed out, this was no ordinary chain.
This chain was the work of professionals.
No college student would possibly have this chain at his or her disposal.
Actually, Mr. President, it was pointed out on Twitter that the very chain he displayed is sold by Columbia University as a bike theft deterrent.
It's literally just a bike chain.
Okay, so we'll have to look into that.
It goes deeper than we thought.
Clearly, anti-Semitic agitators have been infiltrating the campus store at Columbia University for some time, which indicates a long-term plan conceived by anti-Semitic malefactors.
Come on, Mr. President.
Why can't you see these protests for what they are?
Young people who are appalled at what is going on in Gaza and with the aid of the United States.
Because that would make them right.
Yeah.
And I will not allow that.
I will not allow such a threat to exist to Jewish Americans.
Jesus Christ.
Don't say that either.
It might appear to be a threat to Jewish people.
Honestly, Jimmy, in a certain way, I am grateful for these young college students.
Wait, really?
Absolutely.
Israel was running the risk of losing support from Americans because of what they're doing.
Americans predispose to support Israel, but start with a deep discomfort over the horrific images that they're seeing coming out of Gaza.
But thanks to these protesters, sympathy for the Palestinians is now associated with the most annoying people in the world, Ivy League college students.
It's like when I was in law school, Henny thought that the Vietnam War might be a tremendous blunder was extinguished by watching hippies, the most embarrassing human beings to ever walk the earth, twirling around like morons in meadows.
I think most people don't make up their mind about literal ethnic cleansing by these sorts of associations.
Yeah, well, that's your opinion.
An anti-Semitic opinion, but an opinion nonetheless.
Because of these protests, I think I can count on the support of young Democratic voters after all.
It's insane that you believe that.
Also, will you please stop calling everything and everyone anti-Semitic?
It really turns it into a meaningless phrase when misapplied.
Jimmy, are you familiar with the plot of the 1994 film Speed starring Keanu Rees and Sandra Bullock?
Yes.
Well, a similar thing is happening to me.
If I don't use the phrase anti-Semitism or some version thereof five times per minute, I get assassinated.
You can't be serious, sir.
Yeah, tell that to the glowing red dot on my forehead.
Wait, who's going to assassinate you?
I can't tell you.
Why not?
Because then this sketch would actually be anti-Semitic.
And neither of us want that.
I think you can understand the situation I'm in.
Also, I would get shot in the head.
Okay, I see.
So you know what?
Let's just say Hamas.
That way, everyone's happy.
Hamas are the ones threatening to assassinate me.
Anti-Semitism.
So let's just keep Hamas happy and calm.
Anti-Semites.
I'll let you go for now.
And I'll talk to you maybe next week, okay?
Okay, goodbye, Mr. President.
Anti-so, Howard Stern had on Joe Biden, newly plastic surgeon Joe Biden.
If that guy doesn't look like a corpse, he looks like the Jeff Dunham puppet.
He looks like a wax figure of a corpse.
Yeah.
Look at Walter, the old man puppet from Jeff Dunham.
I mean, come for Craminy.
Yes.
He's got like the.
And so Howard Stern, hey, you want to watch Spooky Witch interview a zombie?
Is it Halloween already?
So here we go.
Here we go.
You know, the reason I'm so excited to talk to you was because I wanted to understand the tragedy in your life and how you dealt with it.
And you're the kind of leader I love because we're lucky to have you in the Oval Office and serving as the father of the country.
Because if you're a good father to your family, which you are, I know you'd be.
Is he?
Is he though?
So Joe Biden once said, you could tell, you know, my most important job is being a father of my son.
I don't know if you've seen his son.
Yeah.
We finally found a job that you're shittier at than president.
If your son is a crackhead and you showered with your daughter, who also became a crackhead, are you really a great father?
I mean, it is a country full of crackheads, so he might be the father of the country.
And what is this shit where the president is the father of the country?
So every three to four years, every four to eight years, we get a new dad.
That doesn't sound healthy.
I think Stern likes him because he heard he wanted to keep his son out of a racial jungle.
Yeah.
So Stern really wished he had that growing up.
So, Joe, here is more.
Good father to the country.
And I want to thank you for providing a calming influence, an organized administration post-COVID, getting that vaccine out.
I remember what the world was like at that point.
Before people were injured and suffering from myocarditis, had turbo cancers.
Kind of unbelievable.
Okay.
He fixed everything.
But he was a great dad to us.
He keeps going.
Hang on.
Being NATO, getting us to feel comfortable, standing up to Putin.
The incredible large growth in the jobs, unemployment rate down.
I'll give you your greatest hits.
The lowest uninsured rate in history.
Four out of five Americans are covered for less than $10 a month.
Knocking off a few ISIS leaders, cutting the emissions in half.
I mean, you've always been an environmentalist.
You know, the reason I'm so.
So he's always been an environmentalist.
He just opened up the Arctic to drilling.
Him and Obama bragged that they drilled more oil during his administration than all the other administrations.
I don't know what he did.
He did the Nord Stream pipeline.
They blew that up.
Biggest methane gas release.
Well, that's the biggest echo terrorism in the history of the world.
So Joe fixed everything, Kurt.
And he's got another four years left in him, too.
Just look at him.
Does he look like he's got, hey, if Howard Stern's name isn't on the Epstein flight list, it's because he took a boat.
Okay.
He took the cruise.
He took the Epstein cruise.
I mean, I can't get, I can't get past.
That is.
That used to be a guy who their parents wouldn't let people listen to.
He's another great dad.
I'm talking about Howard Stern.
Yeah, Howard Stern's a great, great.
But wait, wait.
Who's getting less than $10 insurance a month?
What is he talking about?
Most people.
Insured for what?
For $10 a month?
You can't even get your dog insured for that.
He sounds like he's selling a reverse mortgage.
We'll get you life insurance.
I don't care how old you are, how sick you are.
I'm going to get you for $10 a month.
Life insurance.
Remember, you see those commercials?
Michael Tracy says, I've listened to probably thousands of hours of Howard Stern.
Don't ask.
And this is the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard from him.
Gushes, how lucky we all are to have Biden as a father of our country with an organized administration and for standing up to Putin.
Those are bullet points.
Yeah.
I don't.
So here, here's Medea Benjamin tweeted underneath that, said, you forgot to thank him for the slaughter of 34,000 Palestinians, Howard.
Hey, someone got to Howard big time.
He's drugged.
It's so disgusting.
Like every comment.
First of all, he changed when he brought that Marcy Turk life coach.
So I'm going to show that.
I'm going to show.
So let me do a little bit more, and then we'll show you what happened to him.
Howard the Coward, he ruined his legacy by becoming an establishment stooge as soon as he got money.
I listened to him for a bit back in the mid to late 90s.
Stern, that is exactly what happened.
They gave him $400 million, and then he became an establishment stooge.
I mean, he already kind of was.
I listened to him for a bit back in the mid to late 90s.
Stern is a shadow of his former self.
I don't know when he put on those deluxe knee pads, but he clearly likes to use them.
Howard Stern is to boomer liberals what AM radio is to boomer conservatives.
Narrative gatekeeping for the permanent state.
There's still, there's a little bit more.
He could be a new Oprah.
Someone, I like how they say someone got to Howard.
Really?
Like, how could they find anything to blackmail Howard Stern with?
You've been reading too many comic books.
Well, not get to him.
He got all the things like he was the king of radio, right?
As he still is.
And then he got to be a judge of that stupid show.
And then what was left for him to conquer?
So he has an elevator.
He has an elevator, so he doesn't have to see regular people.
He can drive his car into the building, and there's an elevator to his office.
You have to touch anyone.
Every crazy thing, like what's left for him to do except that.
It's not like they had to pull his arm that hard to get him to change.
He was already a narcissist, kind of like, he said he had a demon in him in his books.
I read all his books.
You hear a lot of, I used to like him back when he was degrading women.
I loved it.
Now he's just degrading me, and I don't like that.
He used to do it to, you know, if you had like a mental disability too, but it was inclusive, you know, now it's exclusive.
Yeah.
High-pitch Eric was being included.
He wasn't being excluded.
The new Howard's about exclusion.
Howard Stern is like the perfect mixture of narcissist and narc.
Yeah, he became.
Wow.
He shortened it to just narc.
And now he's a snark.
Stern has become the embodiment of everything he despised when he was an end was entertaining and relevant.
He's a Hollywood ass-kissing sellout who puts everything he says through a filter of political correctness.
How does this loser possibly have any listeners anymore?
I can't believe people.
I mean, really, I never liked Howard Stern, but I could see when his show was more of a circus.
It was, you know, this would be insane.
And I would be doing sheet rock with Chaz Long Construction.
But so I could see how it was kind of a circus and it could be entertaining.
And, you know, he's a guy who got famous by describing lesbians having sex on the radio.
Right.
And now that's a school.
Well, you know, now that's an elementary school curriculum.
Yeah.
He really actually, it does make a lot of sense.
Yeah.
Now you think about it.
He really.
Howard Stern looks like a hippie, sounds like a fed, and he was always willing to tongue bath bathe a true blue war criminal.
Whoa.
Oh, I thought actual RFK wrote that.
And I was like, no, it's somebody who likes it.
No, this is someone who likes him.
Wait, all the things that Howard Stern had on his morning show for if you're somebody doing construction with adults is now stuff for kids in school almost exclusively.
Like all the Sibian riding.
I'm sure that's a class somewhere.
You want to hear his fantasy?
Oh, yeah.
Whoa, this is too hot for TV.
This one.
Let's watch.
Remember what his fantasies used to be?
His fantasies used to be about lesbians, double-teaming him.
Banging Drew Barrymore's mom.
That was in Private Parts.
He had a whole list of all the women he had on and who would bang him if his wife died.
The second is what he wouldn't shoot on his wife.
But if she died, those used to be his fantasies.
You want to know his fantasy is now?
Watch this.
Tell you what fantasy I had.
I don't know if you're going to debate your opponent.
I am somewhere.
I don't know when.
I'm happy.
Now his fantasy.
Well, his fantasy now is concentration camp for the unvaccinated.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Tell you what fantasy I had.
I don't know if you're going to debate your opponent.
I am somewhere.
I don't know when.
I'm happy.
This is how I would handle it.
Tell me if I'm nuts.
We go, I am nuts, but tell me if this is accurate.
I would stand there on stage with Trump and I would repeat over and over again.
Excuse me, please find me 11,000 votes so that I can win the election.
I would just repeat that over and over again.
And then I'd say to the audience, what are we debating?
A man picked up the phone and wanted to say, fake the election, give me 11,000 votes.
I don't know how any American who loves this country, that's the end of the debate.
You don't get to run if you're going to fix an election.
So is Kyle Howard Stern's next job on the view?
I'm serious.
Yeah, he's a viewer.
Like, who else gives a shit about that?
He's going to have a Joy Behar wig and he's going to do the view.
But imagine, like, imagine being sought, like, only a guy with a car elevator that takes him to his office would think that that's a real gotcha.
Like, he almost prevented Biden from taking over.
Oh, no.
Like, are you joking?
Everybody else that doesn't have that is not having a great time since Biden's been in.
I like how he says, tell me if I'm nuts.
He says to Joe Biden, tell me if I'm nuts.
That's like asking your dog if your ass smells funny.
You know what?
Neither of them.
I know where everybody gets these conspiracies that think people have been replaced because these do look like animatronic some things.
Biden, he's straight out of the hall of prayer.
Look at just his waxy stretch skin.
And he's like, Jesus Christ.
Look at his hands.
What is that?
And Howard Stern put on a suit for this.
But I don't know if you noticed.
It looks like the kind of suit you would wear to a funeral because I think he's like, I think Joe Biden was wheeling him in for a week.
It really is like he's interviewing an open casket corpse.
Yes.
Dressed like a witch.
This is like the cripkeeper and the spooky witch from the comics.
I mean, he became everything he hated.
It is remarkable to see a lot of people that happened to during COVID.
They became people who considered themselves anti-establishment became mouthpieces and enforcers for the establishment.
He became people who, oh, yeah.
I'm just saying it's funny to watch it happen to people during COVID.
It happened to Howard Stern way before that.
When Hillary lost, that's when they had the first wave of like, we're going to push the whatever the hell emotional button that makes you an idiot.
And he was on board for that.
Then COVID wasn't like another, okay, we're pulling the lever.
But you saw comedians who consider themselves, you know, anti-establishment become enforcers for the establishment narrative and shame people for questioning.
You saw those people.
Well, it wasn't.
It was Trump.
Okay, wait.
Oh, you're talking about during COVID?
Yeah.
Of course.
I'm not talking about open microns.
I'm talking about comedians at the tippy top of comedy.
No, if you're at the tippy top, what are you going to go against that?
You're going to have some problems.
They all became informed.
So people who consider themselves lefty comedians became authoritarians.
You want to take on Neil Young?
I don't want that coming.
Became authoritarians wanting to mandate experimental medical treatments.
I know people who I know a comedian who was for forced medical treatments, vaccinations, for mandating it.
And then the vaccination that he took, they took it off the market because people were getting blood clots.
Johnson Johnson?
Yeah.
He took that one, but he was for mandating it.
What does he say now?
They don't say anything now.
No, there's more worried about this.
They don't say anything now.
They still, anyway, they still have.
So you want to know what happened to Howard Stern?
Tell him what happened.
He got this woman.
Yeah.
So this is from May 1st, 2017.
She's rarely mentioned on the air.
She doesn't have a funny nickname like producer Gary Baba Booey, nor is she endlessly teased or tormented like the staff writer.
So who is this woman?
Tell everybody who that woman is, Kurt.
The CO.
I don't know.
She's the chief operating officer.
So there's an older video where Howard is doing like this.
It looks like he's doing like an Apple Get Excited people thing about selling merch and like ways to like game the algorithm.
It's really gross.
It's real, like the worst like infomercial dipshit thing.
And who is she?
She's the one that taught him to do that.
She read some book about like organizing.
She wrote a book that he read and he brought her in as a coach.
So she's like a life coach.
She's a handler is what the fuck she is, I say.
I think she's a handler.
So once the establishment hands you half a billion dollars, that comes with a handler.
He's on a talent show, a very important talent show.
Very, very, yes.
With a very checkered past of blackface.
Now, that's not such a big deal.
You can rise the level of Prime Minister of Canada with that.
But you're going to have a handler.
And I think that's what she is.
So her name is Marcy Turk.
She is the chief operating officer of Mr. Stern's radio operations.
When she came in, now, back then, when she came in and you hear people talking about it, all the people that have been on the show, they didn't talk about it in any kind of like scary way.
It was just like, oh, he got this chick.
And it was pretty mundane.
But now I think about him like, oh, yeah, that's your handle.
You don't get all that money without having someone there.
Kanye West had that personal trainer.
Remember who was threatening to have him so drugged he wouldn't recognize his kids.
Yes.
And the guy is from Canada, but yet he worked for the DOD.
Now Kanye has forsworn all that and he makes porn.
So Kanye's back in the fold now.
Don't worry.
There's always like a handler that comes and deals him.
But it's not like, I don't want to imply like Stern changed into a different guy because of her.
No, he was always that piece of shit.
He was an underdog, though.
And so her coaching helps him always maintain the idea that he's some kind of underdog when he's not an underdog.
And that's how he can imagine, like, oh, no, if Trump gets it, like how Robert De Niro, he's got the same De Niro brain about Trump, like a bloodbath.
How old is Howard Stern?
He's 70.
So he's nine.
He's about 10 years younger than Joe Biden.
And you think that's his real hair?
Or do you think that's a wig?
That's clearly a Ronald McDonald wig that they spray painted black.
Okay.
All right.
I have one more.
I'm going to show you all the lies.
The litany of lies that Joe Biden spewed on Howard Stern.
And Howard Stern, of course.
Look, Howard Stern plays along.
He also lies with him.
It's amazing to watch Howard Stern turn into the establishment propagandist and narrative enforcer.
He was always a great pick for it.
If they had, they persecuted him in the early days, the FCC or whatever, but he's a guy that like, I read all his books, man.
I remember when we were when I was young, he was a, he got that movie made.
That was a big deal.
And if you go back and listen to stories telling, he's kind of a piece of shit.
It's just that he was not the establishment and he was shake and it was more interesting and real and this and that.
But his character's always been like, there's people scaring me and I want them dead.
In fact, that's a line, I believe, from either Miss America or I read both of them.
And he's very clear about being pro-death down the line, like your Bill Mahers and such.
Yeah.
Right?
Bill Maher's like, I think it's killing a kid and I think it's great.
Yeah.
Like they're both that.
So why would it?
It's not like they're turning on something.
They already were like this.
It's just that the actual government has become this and it's horrifying.
Like Pfizer's down with like a devil worship dance on a music show.
It used to be like always had those kind of things, like a metal band that loves Satan, but Pfizer didn't go, oh, this, we're with this.
That's the crazy part.
You know, it wasn't elementary school things.
It was stuff adults were into.
Now it's for kids.
Drag Queens won Howard Stern show.
That's right.
So as an adult, you're supposed to not know about any of it, but your kids are supposed to have it.
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Thanks for your support.
So Howard Stern had on Joe Biden, and it was really distasteful how much they lied and gaslighted and propagandized his audience.
But on Howard Stern, Greg Price tweets this out.
On Howard Stern's shows today, Biden claimed that he saved six people from drowning as a lifeguard at once or six separate incidents.
He received Salas's picture.
I mean, why not just bring up his father's kibbutz that was destroyed on October 7th?
Yeah, that's like, talk about real things.
He received Salasis' pictures from women in the 70s that he handed to Secret Service.
That is definitely a lie.
A lot of people.
Because senators don't have Secret Service protection.
Well, I just went up to president and said, hey, man, one of these Bullroys is shake it out, man.
It's leave his pictures.
So he didn't exactly save six people from drowning as a lifeguard, but he did drown him in a sea of debt later.
I'll tell you that.
That he was arrested as a kid while standing with the black family on their porch as people were protesting desegregation.
What?
Wow.
So, okay, let's just put, you want to hear you.
So, first of all, I forget what this is.
Let's play this.
Well, look, He's promised if he doesn't win, there's going to be a bloodbath.
So there he is saying that Donald Trump promised there'd be a bloodbath if he doesn't win.
That's not what Donald Trump said.
Donald Trump said there'd be an economic bloodbath in the car industry.
And so, of course, so if you have to lie about Donald Trump, now you're the bigger liar than Donald Trump.
And here's Howard Stern.
Look, he's kind of, it looks like he has a wig room?
He looks like he has a wig on and a very tiny cock in his mouth.
Here's what bothers me most.
We have a fundamentally different value set.
For example, when he was, for example, I like funding genocides, the slaughter of children.
I like getting 400 to 500,000 Ukrainians slaughtered over an economic war.
I like poisoning the atmosphere with methane gas when we blew up the Nord Stream pipeline.
I was for the Iraq war, the slaughter of those people.
I was on board when we did Libya, Syria, Afghanistan for 20 years.
I'm for all that.
Talk about your, he's so decent.
Decency, that's what this is about.
My grandpa liked decency.
He's in Paris.
He wouldn't go to that grave site.
He said they're losers.
Okay, so I don't think he said that.
That's also made up.
Just like he didn't say the bloodbath thing.
He didn't say that.
So when you're that desperate that you're still losing to Donald Trump, that you have to lie repeatedly.
Do you think the people who listen to Howard Stern, first of all, who listens to Howard Stern?
Has he heard the shit Howard Stern has said in the past?
Right?
These men and women who were killed and fell defending America.
Losers.
And I just, I'm glad I wasn't there because I think I would have.
My son's in one of those graves.
He's one of the graves back here, not there.
Yeah, he just pants and ran out.
Is he still saying that his son died in Iraq?
Because that's what Joe Biden used to say about his son.
But his son didn't die.
His son did not die in Iraq.
His son died in the United States of brain cancer.
So here's some more of his lies.
Here we go.
I learned a lot and I made a lot of friends.
Did you ever save anyone's life when you were lifeguard?
Was anyone ever drowning?
Yeah.
You did?
Yeah, well, half a dozen times.
Usually younger kids, you know.
You do the thing with the whistle and then jump in in the bathing suit and you got it.
No kidding.
It was a big pool.
We had seven lifeguard stands.
Wow.
See, that would define my life.
I would brag about that everywhere I went.
Well, by the way, I did it up in Lake Ontario, too, when I was in law school.
But look, one of the things that.
What, you saved a dude's life when you were in law school?
You were still doing the lifeguard thing?
You did, though, Pats, take credit for the crime bill that has incarcerated black and brown people in prisons and decimated their communities and split their families up for the exact thing that your son Hunter did.
That you don't, you love him, though, but he shouldn't go to prison.
But all the black and brown people who are locked up in prison for the exact same thing, they're locked up there because of you.
Okay.
I mean, you know, people just need help sometimes.
I mean, it's not like it's so heroic.
What?
Save lives is not heroic.
By the way, six lives?
Is that what he claimed?
Call it a full bowl of corn pops.
I say, hey, get out of that pool and get into jail.
So that was his early experience with a lifeguard.
His early experiences holding on to kids.
That's where he got that, bro.
You pull him out, give him a sniff.
And by the way, he did.
So I had hairy legs.
But black kids would touch him.
So maybe he wasn't arrested for standing up for black people on their porch.
But he did get that entire family arrested later on.
Yeah.
Also, why would you be arrested for standing on a porch?
That makes no sense at all.
No.
Here we go.
There's more.
I got put in that 10 most eligible bachelor's list.
Because you were a United States.
Senator, you were a cat.
And a lot of lovely women, but women would send very salacious pictures.
And I'd just give them to the Secret Service.
I thought somebody would think I was.
So he says he was handed salacious pictures.
He was one of the 10 most eligible bachelors.
He was named.
He was very handsome if you look at the old pictures of him.
So women would come up like give him Polaroids, I guess.
And then he would report to the Secret Service.
He would go to the president's security detail and go, hey, I got some more of them pictures.
Here you go.
You take them.
What about those salacious pictures that included you, Mr. President?
Anyway, here we go.
And I looked at my mom.
I said, honey, you haven't said anything.
She said, Joey, let me remember.
True story.
She said, remember when they were desegregating Linfield, the neighborhood 70 homes built at one suburbia?
And I told you, and there was a black family moving in, and there was people who were down there protesting.
I told you not to go down there and you went down.
Remember that?
And you came and got arrested standing on the porch with a black family.
Right.
They brought you back, the police.
I said, yeah, mom, I remember that.
And then he went on to have that whole family arrested and put in jail for the same things his son did.
When did he march a Mandela and get arrested, though?
Remember, remember he made that?
Yeah.
Catholic League football, CIO football.
By the way, I don't think a lot of people know that you were a star receiver in high school.
You were like the first string guy.
You were the guy who.
So by star receiver, they meant that he would greet the star players as they went into the shower.
The ball.
Runner up at stake, scoring.
Wow.
Why would I give a shit about that?
Why would anyone give a shit about his fucking football record at all?
RNC Reacher says, Joe Biden says after he was elected vice president, he was awarded his, he awarded his uncle Frank with a purple heart he Earned at the Battle of the Bulge.
There is no evidence any of that is true.
And Biden's uncle died in 1999 while Biden wasn't elected vice president until 2008.
He said, don't you do it.
Don't you give me that medal.
So let's hit some of the greatest hits from Joe Biden.
Democratic presidential candidate Joseph Biden today faces a controversy.
Three weeks ago at a debate at the Iowa State Fair, he used phrases identical to those delivered by British Labor Party leader Neil Kinnock.
Biden seemed to be claiming Kinnock's vision and life as his own.
Why is it that my wife is sitting out there in the audience is the first in her family to ever go to college?
Wave Kennedy is the first woman in her family in a thousand generations to be able to get to university.
My ancestors who worked in the coal mines in northeast Pennsylvania don't come up after 12 hours and play football eight hours underground and then come up and play football.
It's because they didn't have a platform upon which to stand.
There was no platform upon which they could stand.
The notion that every thought or notion or idea you have to go back and find and attribute to someone, I think is quite frankly ludicrous.
The problem here is that Senator Biden told his audience he'd just been thinking about these things and he failed to give any credit at all to his famous British speechwriter.
You know, I was thinking on the way over here.
Now that's a little too much because as you point out, what's behind the words?
What's there?
And a lot of people are rap on Biden has always been.
It's just a surface.
I should have said, to paraphrase Neil Kinnock, it's the only time I didn't in all the times I've ever used it.
But CBS News found a tape of a second instance.
It reappeared in the New York Times with a new charge that Biden had appropriated a famous litany from the late Robert Kennedy about what the gross national product cannot measure.
It cannot measure the health of our children.
The health of our children.
The quality of our education.
The quality of their education.
The joy of their play.
Or the joy of their play.
Biden gave Kennedy no credit.
He has also quoted or paraphrased John Kennedy, Hubert Humphrey, and British Labor Party leader Neil Kinnock, all without credit.
Joseph Biden admitted today that he committed plagiarism when he was in law school.
He said it was a mistake, but that it was unintentional.
He quoted five pages of someone else's work without proper citation.
I've done some dumb things, and I'll do dumb things again.
He was given an F. Ladies and gentlemen, I've been dumb.
To the political community in Washington, it all seems of a piece.
Plagiarism at law school, plagiarism on the stump.
The great communicator.
Strike that.
The great imitator.
You don't steal verbatim, or when you do as he did 99% of the time, you give credit.
Biden's critics say he sells himself as a man whose words and visions can inspire a new generation in politics.
But if the thoughts, phrases, and visions really belong to others, it's a form of false advertising.
Is it a wise idea, though, to take something that personal anyway from another politician and try and appropriate it to your own campaign?
I think it was a stupid thing to appropriate material that was really very personal that was someone else's.
Most people didn't know who he was, you know, Joe Biden Biden.
And now they're going to say, oh, yeah, he's the guy who plagiarized the first.
Politically, that's devastating.
These clips are devastating.
He looks like a Joe Biden wind-up doll with somebody else's words coming out.
If they're going to do things that are stupid as well as immoral, then they're probably too dumb to have the job of president.
The voters are not anymore.
Senator Joseph Biden may have more explaining to do.
The new question stemmed from taped remarks of Biden during an April campaign appearance in New Hampshire.
I went to law school on a full academic scholarship, the only one in my class to have a full academic scholarship, went back to law school, and in fact ended up in the top half of my class.
I was the outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my year.
I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate school and 165 credits, only 123 credits.
Biden now concedes he did not graduate in the top half of his law school class, that he does not have three degrees from college, and that he was not named outstanding political science student in college.
Newsweek says Biden actually went to school on a half scholarship, ended up near the bottom of his class, and won only one degree, not three.
Joe Biden ranked 76th in a class of 85 at the University of Syracuse Law School.
I mean, this guy comes off this whole thing as a flyweight.
Now, Biden says Newsweek is right.
His memory had failed him.
And I'd be delighted to sit down and compare my IQ to yours if you'd like, Frank.
Joe Biden was victimized by the truth.
Bye-bye, Biden.
He may not know it yet, but I think this is going to be very difficult for him to recover.
Is Joe Biden dead meat, yes or no?
I think so.
Bob.
It's a terminal condition.
Terminal.
Hell and all.
Yes, unless he comes in third in Iowa.
Morton.
Dying.
I say dead.
We'll be right back.
Wow, what a group of idiots.
They didn't know jack shit about anything.
They didn't know that.
They didn't know jack shit, and then they had, they knew nothing about anything, it turns out.
But do you see how fast Joe Biden used to talk?
He was like modern, he was like Ben Shapiro back then.
And now he makes talking seem as difficult as rock climbing.
I mean, it's real.
It really is like that.
You see him reaching for some.
But that's the whole thing.
That's the thing that kills me.
It's like when you see that asshole from Saturday Night Live say that I'm voting for decency and he talk about what a decent good guy.
Joe Biden's a decent man.
Joe Biden was a joke, a liar, a much bigger liar than Donald Trump was.
Donald Trump wasn't a politician.
He's worse on every single level.
He's mad about about Trump.
He was worse than that.
He's worse.
Every single level on them.
That's right.
Also, who gives a shit if they're decent?
How about just keep your word and do a goddamn thing you got sent there to do?
How about just that?
I don't like you.
I don't care shit about your personal life.
I really don't.
So now, Trump has come down on the Trump used to be an American first guy.
He's not.
He's an American first coccasionally.
He's Israel first.
And so people who are peacefully protesting in the United States, and that's what they're doing, they're peacefully protesting.
Donald Trump is siding with a foreign country over them.
And he says, do you think that the radical left lunatics that are causing all of the chaos?
So you think people who are who are carpet bombing Gaza right now, the occupiers, the Zionists, they're not lunatics.
They're not the genociders.
This is amazing, right?
So do you think, hey, there are radical left lunatics in the country.
Right now, they don't have any power.
You know who have all the power?
The radical establishment lunatics like Joe Biden, the Democrats, and the Republicans, who all agree on the worst of things.
Just like he agreed, he just got in bed with Mike Johnson, Joe Biden, to pass funding.
He supported that.
The more funding, remember Jonal Trump used to go around saying, I'm going to end the Ukraine war in 24 hours?
Yeah.
Now he's like, no, we're going to fund it.
I'm funding it.
I still don't understand why they went to him at all with that.
The guy who's not president that they have on trial.
Hey, we need you to get on board with it.
We need you.
But they did, I guess, to try to get some of the right-wing base to go along with it.
So here's what he tweeted out on his Truth Social.
By the way, he just got $2 billion more from Truth Social.
I don't know.
I don't know anybody who goes on there.
I had to go on there to get this, though.
Do you think that the radical left lunatics that are causing all the chaos at our colleges and universities are doing so in order to take the focus away from our southern border?
No.
No.
I don't think that's why they're doing.
Wow.
Talk about bending yourself in a pretzel where millions of people, many from prisons and mental institutions, are pouring into our country, just asking.
Well, I'll let you know.
No, that's not why they're doing it.
They're not doing that to take.
So like he's trying to say they're running cover for Joe Biden.
No, that's not what they're doing.
They're actually telling Joe Biden they're not going to vote for him.
And they're actually protesting Joe Biden's policies of supporting a genocide in Gaza, which would be your same pot.
So Donald Trump and Joe Biden now agree on all the most horrible things.
Why is Ukraine getting more fucking too?
I already knew he was all the way in Zionist.
That's Ukraine.
And here's a Trumper who we've had on the show.
This guy used to be MAGA, Jake Shields.
I don't know, maybe he still is, but he says Trump wants to make protesting Israel illegal.
They serve the same master.
And he showed this.
Stop the protest now.
This is what Donald Trump tweeted out on his Truth Social or whatever.
Stop the protest now.
And he says they serve the same master.
Now, there's nothing in there that says Donald Trump wants to make it illegal, except he does.
It's because he wants to cop, because I'll show you.
He wants the cops to come in.
I'm going to show you a video in a second.
And he wants the cops to come in and crack their heads and arrest them.
By the way, those students who are protesting over Gaza have nothing to gain.
It's not going to help them in their business and their career.
They're getting suspended now.
They're getting arrested.
They're getting arrest records.
That makes it much harder to get a job.
They have nothing to gain by doing this.
So I want to show you this.
Say, while it's fun to watch Donald Trump piss off the donor class and stick his thumb in their eye from time to time, and it is, he is a swamp creature who is only occasionally America first.
He didn't give a blue-collar tax cut.
He gave a tax code to billionaires.
He didn't invest that money back here.
He didn't give everybody a job, like he said.
And he didn't give everybody health care.
Remember, he said when he was running.
I'm going to give everybody, I'm going to make them a deal.
I'm going to go to the hospitals.
You have the best healthcare you've ever seen.
You're not going to believe his health care.
You're not going to believe how people are.
Oh, my God.
He is a swamp.
I said he is a swamp creature who is only occasionally America first.
You can't argue with that.
It's most, I mean, I guess you can, but you'd be wrong.
His most recent capitulation to the war machine by joining with Mike Johnson and Joe Biden via Ukraine was disgusting.
A lot of people can't handle that he did that.
I can't handle it.
It drives me crazy.
The one thing, the one reason to vote for Donald Trump is because maybe there's two reasons, the border and he wouldn't fund war the way they did, but now he's on board with their wars.
He still wants credit for the disastrous COVID vaccine, which boggles my mind.
And of course, there's this.
Stop the protest now.
Now, in this tweet, I said the vaccine is not a vaccine at all.
Of course, that's not true.
Of course, it is.
It's safe and effective, and it's a great vaccine.
The FDA and the CDC say it's fantastic.
I was saying that it's a joke.
I would say that as a joke.
I mean, it's so fast.
So fast.
So then here's a guy's show who I've caught from time to time.
He says, you actually think these protests have anything to do with Israel or Palestine?
Yes.
The fuck do you think they're for?
Who do you think they're doing?
You think they're out getting suspended from school for kicks?
You think they're out there wrecking their chances to get employed for kicks?
What do you fuck do you think they're doing?
Hey, Coach Collin, they're going to be shipping them people over here soon as illegal immigrants.
That's right.
That's already in the news.
You think that's a good idea to have them flatten their entire entire city and then funded that and they're going to come live next to us.
That's right.
You don't think that there might be a real issue?
You don't think that's okay.
No, I didn't think BLM was trying to help black people.
He says, LOL, you must have also thought BLM was trying to help black people.
Without even B. Correlated at all.
No.
These movements.
One has nothing to do with the other.
These movements have been co-opted, ladies and gentlemen.
You're seeing Marxists and communists trying to seize power in America.
The fuck are you talking about?
What in the fuck are you talking about?
You know who we're going to have socialized medicine like Israel?
We're never going to.
They were taken over by the commies.
That's right.
Oh, I guess Israel was taken over by the commies because they have socialized medicine.
They have Medicare for all.
They have to retire at a certain age.
That's right.
Except DNA tests are illegal.
This isn't all at it.
They're so disjointed, so disconnected from reality.
It's all just repeating talking points you've heard.
This isn't rooted or tethered to anything in reality.
Marxists and communists are taking over.
Did you know the Marxists and communists are going to take over?
We can't even get fucking health care in America.
We can't even get affordable housing in America.
Even a hell of a bad thing.
We can't even get fucking minimum wage from a guy who said he ran on raising the minimum wage.
We can't even get a public option.
Joe Biden ran on his alternative to Medicare for all was a public option.
They didn't even fucking bring it up.
You know, who doesn't bring it up?
Not only Joe Biden, but all your Marxist communists, your Jamal Bowmans, your AOCs, your Ilon Omar.
They never even fucking bring it up.
Bernie Sanders, they never bring it up.
This idea that Marxist communists, you are being ruled by the military-industrial complex and a handful of fucking billionaires.
And that's the system you want to keep propping up.
And Donald Trump, part of that system.
They have nothing to do with it.
Not a single thing at all.
You go, you think they have anything to do with Palestine history?
I see a lot of unhinged people there that are.
The reason why this didn't happen right away was because those people who voted for Joe Biden on those college campuses thought that eventually Joe Biden and the Democrats would do something about this.
And now they realize they're not.
And they've been lied to, and they've been duped by the establishment.
And of course, what you're doing, what Coach Colin is doing, is siding with the establishment, not only the establishment economically in Congress and in the military, but he's also siding with the establishment at universities, the universities that you called Marxists and communists.
I thought they were all lefty, crazy Marxist communists at universities.
But you're now siding with the administration at these lefty Marxist communist universities.
You realize that that's because they're not.
They're run by the establishment billionaires.
What are you a coach of?
That's my question.
People protesting wars.
And I like Coach Collin.
He's a nice guy.
He's just completely like the rest of the right wing, completely misguided on this.
You see what happened to Candace Owen on the Daily Wire?
And tethered to nothing.
So people protesting wars is always good.
Zionists.
But that's the game.
They have to pretend that the people protesting don't know what they're protesting about.
Otherwise, as Mike McRae said in our sketch today, that would make them right because they are.
So I responded and I said, people protesting wars is always good.
How could you be against people protesting war?
Zionists are anti-American and the opposite of America first.
So if you're a Zionist, that's the opposite of America first.
You're Israel first.
He's some kind of Christian Zionist.
That's how.
That's got to be.
That's what it is.
So every human rights organization in the world acknowledges that.
And even Bobby Kennedy acknowledged that Israel is an apartheid state and an occupying force.
Bobby Kennedy acknowledged that?
He acknowledged that every human rights organization, including the UN, says that.
He didn't acknowledge it himself.
He acknowledged that everybody in the world except Zionists think that it's an apartheid state.
Lots and lots of Jews oppose the genocide in Gaza.
If you knew anything about the history of Israel, you would be protesting this war, too.
There's like one history, the good book.
So do you know anything about the Balfour declation?
Anything about the notion of Abraham's covenant with God?
I don't need to know about no Balfour.
So this guy says no one is protesting.
They are virtue signaling, trying to get laid.
That's what they said about people who supported Bernie Sanders in 2016.
All the women, that's what they said.
They said, all the what?
They said the women who were supporting Bernie Sanders, the young women, were just doing that to try to meet boys.
So this is every which way to Sunday to try to dismiss protesters of a fucking war and genocide.
And this isn't new.
This is what they do all the time.
Most of them don't know why they're there.
That's why TikTok was banned.
Because they do know why they're there.
That's what the TikTok ban was for, so that people in the future won't know why they're there.
Yes.
But they know currently, thanks to fucking TikTok.
And I tweet, I said, well, I keep seeing these tweets where people claim to know that people protesting have no idea what they're protesting.
Every person I know who opposes Zionism and the carpet bombing of Gaza knows exactly why they oppose it and want to protest it.
I don't know anybody who doesn't know why they're protesting it.
Every person I know who's protesting it knows exactly why.
Every person who's against Zionism knows exactly why they're against Zionists.
In fact, people who used to be Zionists before this war or this carpet bombing, this genocide, now reject their Zionism because guess what?
They looked into it.
Protesters have absolutely nothing to gain from protesting Zionism and everything to lose, including being arrested, having a criminal record, being kicked out of universities, and losing lucrative job opportunities.
It makes Zionists feel better to discredit anti-war protesters by claiming they're mindless and don't know what they're doing.
But that's what pro-war propagandists have always done to anti-war protesters.
That's what they've always done.
It's my experience that the people who are Zionists are the ones who really have little information about the situation.
The ones I've talked to don't know anything about the Balfour Declaration.
They don't know anything about the NACBA.
And they don't know that Israel's an occupying force.
They don't know that Israel and Netanyahu actually funded Hamas with suitcases full of money for the last 15 years and would and tried to discredit the moderate Palestinians so they could actually say we don't have anyone to negotiate with.
That's what they don't know any of that.
So the people who actually don't know what is going on are the people who are trying to discredit the protesters.
A bunch of these people do know that Israel, because I bring it up to them every single time before you even get an argument or anything.
Hamas is bad.
Why were they funding that?
Is that your fucking fault that you punched yourself in the dick then?
They tell me when they tell when they tell us that you guys support Hamas, I wasn't the one funding them.
It was Netanyahu, the Likud party, and the Israel government.
The students aren't.
The students were not.
They know who's a danger to Israel.
He actually did support.
He actually haven't funded.
He didn't have a protest or a tweet about it.
He sent them your fucking taxes more.
That's right.
So shut the fuck up.
Why aren't you throwing him in a goddamn Guantanamo for support and terror?
But they all treat it the same way they treat like they know that Rambo fought alongside the Taliban.
Every fucking person still supports that shit.
Yeah, we had to do that because the commies.
I don't know.
I don't look at Rambo, whatever.
Move on.
And so I don't hold America accountable for funding all the terrorists who kicked us in the dick, which maybe you should.
Maybe you should.
Then we're going to go to the next one.
We invented Al-Qaeda.
We invented ISIS.
We invented.
It's not inside job.
Are you joking?
Best case scenario, it's an inside job based on funding the people who attack us all the time.
This whole lefties on, I thought lefties were the people running those universities.
That's why they're all woke and you all hated universities.
But now you're siding with the administration, the crazy woke administrators, because you realize that wokeness is just there to distract everybody so the fist of the billionaire class can actually rule.
So we fight each other over stupid woke shit while they do what?
They drain the treasury, the United States Treasury, and they fund war for economic gain.
They blow up the Nord Stream pipeline.
So now Germany and Europe has to pay two, three, four times the price for energy.
Well, we get 300 to 400,000 Ukrainians slaughtered over a proxy war that Putin never wanted.
And Putin wanted to end, had a peace agreement signed by Ukraine, and then NATO wouldn't let it happen.
And so right now we're giving billions and billions of dollars to Israel who has socialized medicine.
Are they a bunch of copies?
So you're supporting a bunch of copies.
It's a mediocracy with no civil marriage of any kind.
Your marriage doesn't count.
It's an orthodox constitution.
Should we be more like them, maybe?
Because I thought that's our big fear of why we have to have Biden.
We're going to become a Christian, some nonsense.
That guy, that's his church is one of them old school Zion churches from 100 years ago.
I don't know.
I just, you know, and guys like Coach Cowl and I can agree on a lot of things, but he certainly lost a plot when it comes to America first, Israel, who's actually running our universities.
Are they trying to get ahead in Hollywood?
Is that why you think they're doing it?
Well, they're trying to get great show business jobs.
This is the fuck you talking about.
To support the Palestinians is death in Hollywood.
It's death in Wall Street.
It's death in corporate America.
Right now, those people are being suspended and arrested.
And guess what they didn't do to Black Lives Matter protesters?
They didn't arrest them.
Yeah, they let.
And they didn't stop them.
That's a great fucking fact, isn't it?
That's right.
You have people, I'm going to show you in another clip.
You have people like Anderson Cooper trying to discredit the protesters.
Guess what they didn't do to Black Lives Matter protesters?
As they were burning down police stations in Atlanta, they said it makes sense.
They had CNN reporters marching with them going, yeah, all these people seem nice.
Listen, Coach Colin, obviously there are competing billionaires.
The Eagle has two wings, Scotland.
That's right.
There's obviously competing oligarchs that are for the Palestinians, okay?
And that in no way invalidates what people are protesting.
This is America, number one.
So there's no such thing as a protest or anything in this devil country that you are a Christian in, supposedly, that doesn't have a rich asshole putting his fucking two cents in.
Otherwise, you wouldn't even be hurt hearing any of this unless there was opposing billionaires.
There's nothing commie going on here.
It's all fucking three rich guys and they're personal fights.
This is the stranglehold that Israel has on our country.
And if you're against that, if you're actually America first, you would be against funding Israel and you would be against shutting down these protests because they're protesting Israel.
It's a lot of Jews protesting it.
A lot of Jews are protesting it.
But so that just the lie again, you're America first when it's convenient.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, man, it's Jeff Bridges.
Hey, Jeff Bridges, how are you?
I'm doing okay.
Thanks, Mash.
Hey, man, I wanted to call in and check and see if you're okay.
Well, of course, why wouldn't I be okay?
Well, I saw that interview with Jerry Stein.
He said you're not allowed to do comedy anymore.
I thought that, you know, that's a bummer, man.
I like comedy.
So, you know, I just want to see how you're dealing with all that.
No, it's fine, Jeff.
You can still do comedy.
Comedy is doing very well, actually.
I mean, you could ignore Jerry Seinfeld.
He just says stuff like that from time to time.
Oh, well, that's great news, man.
I'm glad to hear it.
But a relief.
I was afraid you're going to have to close up shop.
I always like that Kramer guy better anyway.
He was always just barging in, man.
Drive me crazy.
No, we're chugging right along.
How you doing?
Yeah, not doing half bad, but I gave an interview myself, man.
Not sure if you saw it, but yeah, they're making another Tron movie that I'm going to be in.
You don't say.
I do, man.
You remember Tron?
I guess.
Sucked into the computer?
Sure, we all do.
Well, we made a sequel in 2010, Trom Legacy.
And they did that thing where they digitally de-aged me.
Have you seen that?
Well, you know, back then the technology wasn't so good, you know.
And, you know, like I told this magazine, I didn't look like me.
I thought I looked more like Bill Maher.
Oh, God.
I mean, no offense to him, but I don't want to look like Bill Maher, man.
Thank God they didn't give me those weird ears he has.
Those are really distracting, man.
Uh-huh.
Here's another guy who says you can't do comedy anymore because of woke.
Yeah, again, you can pretty much dismiss what Bill Maher says about anything.
Oh, okay.
Okay, man.
That's good to know.
Did you want to discuss any political topics, Jeff?
I mean, this is a political show, actually.
Yeah, you know me, man.
I don't pay much attention to the news.
It's always just a big bummer, man.
It's never anything good.
Well, yeah, but that's why you have to pay attention to it.
Are you aware of what's going on in Gaza?
Who's that?
It's a place, the Gaza Strip, part of the Israel-controlled occupied territories.
Israel's currently indiscriminately bombing civilians, including women and children.
Over 30,000 of them have been killed.
Oh, no.
That's terrible.
That sounds like a fucking war crime, man.
You're right, beloved movie star Jeff Bridges.
It is a war crime.
I can't believe that shit.
I mean, that's going to make the Palestinians hate them even more, ruining any tangible hope for peace in that part of the world forever.
Again, you are absolutely right.
I mean, if Jeff Bridges can figure this shit out after half a J, it seems like people in charge could too.
One would imagine.
See, this is why I stay away from the news altogether.
It's foolish shit like that.
I mean, if I were steeped in this all day, every day like you, I'd go fucking insane.
It does drive you a little crazy, that's for sure.
Yeah, I can't have that, man.
I gotta have my balance, you know, my Zen.
I can't have that shit jamming my chill signals.
Yeah.
But hey, you suit yourself, man.
Okay, I will.
Well, I'll let you get to it.
I'm probably coming up the works over there.
I know you got a big show to get to.
And hey, man, don't listen to Seinfeld and Bill Maher.
You go ahead and be funny.
It's still allowed, man.
All right.
Well, thanks for calling.
Always a pleasure.
Hey, maybe next time you call, we can discuss a relevant news topic of some kind.
Far out, man.
*laughter*
Hey, become a premium member.
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Sign up.
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Freak out.
Freak out.
Don't freak out.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
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