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Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Guess who, numb nuts?
It's me.
The master of Michigan.
Goat of Grand Rapids.
The dominatrix of Detroit.
The thirst trap of Traverse City.
Okay, we get it.
Congratulations on your win in Michigan, Mr. President.
Thanks, Jimmy.
I appreciate that.
But it wasn't just a win.
Yeah.
It was more than a win.
It was a landslide.
Yeah.
Jimmy, I came in with 81% of the vote, which is much better, I'd like to point out, than I did in 2020.
I got way for votes this time.
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, but yeah, yeah.
But this time, I absolutely crushed those who opposed me.
Mary Ann Williamson.
She's not even running.
That weird other guy.
Yeah.
I don't even know his name.
Yo, what is that guy saying?
But most importantly, uncommitted.
Yeah, right.
Uncommitted.
That modern-day Benedict Arnold.
That crypto-fascist monster, uncommitted.
That sly, slithering, anti-semite, uncommitted.
You have such a big vote, I wonder.
I wonder why uncommitted is getting.
But listen, uncommitted is not an actual person, sir.
Yeah, I know that shit, Ed.
But it behooves me to talk about uncommitted as if he's a person.
It's always a good move to personifying any set of ideas that may prove to be obstacles and then vilify them.
No, Mr. President, uncommitted reveals the deep dissatisfaction in your own party with your stance on Gaza, represented by many voters in that state.
Yeah, ingrates.
All of them.
Ungrateful fascists.
People are overusing fascists like Dr. Cornell West overuses brother and precious.
So people who oppose genocide are fascists now?
Yes.
It's a weird place that we've arrived at our mid-weeks.
Because voting for uncommitted instead of me is a move in support of Donald Trump, who is a fascist.
Oh, God.
Who threatens to strip America of its beloved democracy?
Yeah, yeah.
And these people in Michigan are using their vote to express how they feel about something.
Jimmy, why do they hate democracies?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
*sniff*
They don't hate democracy, sir.
They hate what they are seeing in Gaza, and they're not alone.
Who's they?
The voters in Michigan who went uncommitted, largely Arab and Muslim voters, but not exclusively at all.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Arabs and Muslims.
Sorry, but this is America.
Yeah.
They are not steering the boat here.
Yep.
They don't get to take over an entire fucking state.
Sorry that they don't like what they see, but I don't know, should have been born something else.
Yeah, Jesus.
You really don't care about their concerns, do you?
I mean, not really.
Sorry, not sorry.
Yep.
I mean, maybe I listened to them if I knew for a fact that they supported Israel's right to exist and defend itself and rejected anti-Semitism in whatever funky way I define that term.
But you and I both know that these are impossible standards for discourse, which is why we have them.
Wow.
Well played, sir, I must say.
Thank you.
I mean, even if I did want to talk to these people, have a sit down at the halal shop or whatever over a beer.
I mean, Do you realize what AIPAC would do if I listened to Muslim concerns about the genocide in Gaza?
AIPAC, grow up, man.
So you admit it's a genocide, then?
Well, yeah, duh.
Just look at it.
And it's on television.
They're not even hiding anything.
Right, I know.
But the point is, man, Jimmy, you always get me way off point.
The point is in these scripts I write.
The point is that we won big and yesterday.
I met yesterday in Michigan.
I'm not worried about uncommitted.
He can buzz off.
He won.
Also, I ate ice cream and made fun of Donald Trump on late night with Shen Meyers's.
Yeah, you gotta held it like a microphone.
So my campaign is flying high.
Mr. President, many people have said your Michigan problems ain't going away.
What you talking about, Willis?
Like I said, it's 1%.
Yeah, but the numbers, the uncommitted vote was nearly 100,000 people.
What if all those people remain uncommitted and stay home in November?
Considering that Hillary Clinton lost Michigan in 2016 by around 10,000 votes, this could be a huge problem for you, especially if you're not going to address the problem.
But without Israel, no Jew is safe on planet Earth.
Oh, God.
Okay, that's usually where clapping goes.
Hell's wrong with you guys.
You can't get yourself out of this predicament with that crap, Mr. President.
Oh, man, this isn't fair.
This sucks.
Literally, what the fuck am I supposed to do here?
Use your position As the most powerful person on the planet and demand a ceasefire.
Jimmy, as I stated before, now is not the time for a ceasefire in Gaza.
So, when is I don't know when Mr. Netanyahu says so?
Yeah.
Judgment Day.
Yes.
There are supernatural forces at work here, man.
There's nothing supernatural about the hard numbers.
I just quoted you, sir.
Jimmy, a long time ago, a wise woman once asked, where's the beef?
And it was a legitimate question.
But here is the beef.
The United States will stand by its ally Israel, come hell or high water.
Yeah.
And now that we've literally seen what the hell part is.
Yeah.
Ready for the high water.
Even if a speech to my defeated the polls, donors know that Donald Trump will do more or less the same thing that I will.
And donors will see to that.
That's how American democracy works, my friend.
But vote for me because Donald Trump will destroy American democracy.
There was a time when saying these census would have given me a massive headache.
Yeah.
But no longer.
Because my brain doesn't work that way anymore.
I'm liberated from the burden of thought.
So I just do what they tell me.
And now I'm going to trail off.
Sleep sweet, my prince.
And you too, Kurt.
Everything is going to be just fine.
Yeah.
No beer at the Halal Shop.
It's all dark.
It's all dark.
Establishment, media, sets of artists fighting so good luck the bullshit they can't afford fomenting this world watch and see as is jack off the medium speeds and jumps the medium and hits them head on it's the chimpor show Nina Turner went on CNN now if you don't remember it's Nina Turner she's a race baiting coward usually but here give it to her here but
Something got in her.
I know what got in her.
She got kicked out of office, and now she's talking to these jerk-offs.
So she probably doesn't have to do that fake shit you have to do to try to get in with the squad.
So I guess she's done.
She was on the wrong side of forced to vote.
She protects politicians.
She lied about health care activists, and she called them racists.
But here, so that's why I think she gets invited on CNN.
So that's why she's welcome on CNN.
Not anymore.
So here, now, watch, though.
Great job, Nina Turner.
So here she is.
But here, tip of the hat, she's doing a good job here after she did that.
Oh, by the way, you know what?
Didn't her husband run her campaign?
Like her husband created a consulting firm, so all the money in the campaign went to her husband.
That's quite a, anyway.
It's like the recording industry, politics, but not the scruples.
Yeah, they call Trump corrupt.
Anyway, here we go.
They are, in fact, suffering.
And I am young enough to remember, colleagues, when Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib and also Congresswoman Cori Bush called for a ceasefire very early on.
They were called abhorrent.
Now, fast forward to all of these bodies laying in the wake and people who are living through this every single day.
By the way, there's also been slaughter in Israel.
I was going to say, I don't know.
So there's a lot of pain on both sides.
No, I'm not.
So I don't know if you heard what Anderson Cooper just did.
She's talking about the genocide that's happening in front of everyone's eyes.
And Anderson Cooper just did what they castigated Donald Trump for doing.
He said there's things happening on both sides.
You can't let someone, Mr. Concern Troll, Anderson Cooper, cannot let concern for Palestinians go unrebutted.
By the way, there's also been slaughter in Israel.
I was going to say, I don't know.
So there's a lot of pain on both sides.
No, I'm not.
Oh, Jesus.
I can't.
Did you catch the panic of Anderson Cooper when someone told the truth about what's happening in Gaza on his show?
He panicked.
Said violence on both sides?
Mm-hmm.
Hey, I'm no morning Joe and Mika Belushi, but I do believe that's called both-siderisms.
And it's a crime.
Goddamn right it is.
That's a crime.
So that's Anderson Vanderbilt Cooper.
Vanderbilt Cooper?
Lecturing people who have relevant facts on his show.
And he's telling Nina Turner that she must conjure some magical catch-all straw man answer to the problem that he doesn't need lecturing.
Here we go.
Let's listen to it.
I'm not a lecturer on the problem.
He doesn't need a lecture.
No.
He doesn't need a lecture.
I think you do.
I think you do need a lecture.
Well, how do I get through to you, Anderbilt?
Yeah.
I'm talking about the politics of this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's just put a pin on this genocide talk and let's talk about the real thing people want to talk about, the politics of it.
Hey, hey, hey.
Remember the Breaking Bad thing where I said Lydia had the blindfolds, so I don't want to see the body, and the Nazi holds her hand?
That's what he's doing.
Yeah.
Anderbilt Cooper.
And that's what he's doing.
Let me play this again.
This is so much fun.
Here we go.
They are, in fact, suffering.
And I am young enough to remember, colleagues, when Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib and also Congresswoman Cori Bush called for a ceasefire very early on.
They were called abhorrent.
Now, fast forward to all of these bodies laying in the wake and people who are living through this every single day.
By the way, there's also been slaughter in Israel.
I was going to say.
There's also been slaughter in Israel, Kurt.
There's also been slaughter in Israel, Kurt.
And now.
that's besides what the israeli helicopters did to their own people yeah He's talking besides that.
Yeah, no, I mean, it's really, that's not really, it's here nor there.
I was about to say, but by the way, come on, come on, come back, come on, come back.
Come on, come back, come back.
Easy.
She goes, I'm young enough to remember.
Was that a Digit Biden?
I don't know what that is.
There's a lot of pain on both sides.
No, I'm not going to lecture on the problem.
I'm talking about the politics of this tonight.
What to you would be a victory if somebody was calling for this uncommitted vote?
What to you would be a victory tonight to get that message to crime?
I'm not denying that pain.
All I'm saying that at a certain point after October the 7th, it becomes clear.
I mean, you have a right-wing prime minister.
We don't need to say, but you understand what I'm saying.
I'm not denying anybody's pain.
What I am saying is that this president and our country has the power to say to Netanyahu, we need a permanent ceasefire.
The only time hostages are not.
Wait, one more point.
The only time hostages were released is when we had that brief ceasefire.
That is another reason why.
And unfortunately, first of all, could those people interrupt her morals?
No kidding.
And what that proves is that Israel can't afford to have another ceasefire where the hostages get released, or else they're going to lose their own last bargaining chip for slaughtering the Gazans en masse.
So if they did get rid of those hostages, then they would have no reason to keep doing what they're doing.
But they're still that, and that's why they don't want those hostages released.
Yeah.
They've said it openly, by the way.
And just, you know, I don't know anybody here's a historian, but traditionally, when you have a conflict going on and there's one or more people setting themselves on fire in protest, it's a mild indicator things aren't going that well.
Yeah.
So it's like if they like, so if the Israelis lose those hostages that got the Hamas is holding, that'd be like the Democrats losing Donald Trump.
Like then they wouldn't have, you'd have no reason to vote for Donald Trump.
I mean, for Joe Biden and the Democrats, there'd be no reason to vote for them.
Because the only thing they can tell you is some guy's worse.
That's all they have.
Did you appreciate when she was on split screen with Anderson Cooper?
It was like the ultimate battle of black women versus albino.
I did appreciate that.
That skin matches his hair.
Jesus.
I think Anderson Van Cooper's best journalistic work has always been on New Year's Eve when he's drunk.
That's the real him.
As long as he's with Kathy Griffin, I like Kathy Griffin sexually harassing him and him going, ee.
These people, I can't get over this.
Let's hear it one more time.
And they are in fact suffering.
And I am young enough to remember, colleagues, when Congresswoman Rashida Talib and also Congresswoman Corey Bush called for a ceasefire very early on.
They were called abhorrent.
Now, fast forward to all of these bodies laying in the wake and people who are living through this every single day.
She said bodies pilot up.
Bodies in the wake.
It's amazing.
People get the wrong idea.
Look, it's about politics, which apparently are completely unconnected to piles of bodies.
Bodies.
Yes, completely unconnected.
That's a separate topic.
Politics.
Not the actual people dying.
That's like, come on.
There's also been slaughter in Israel.
I was going to say.
It's all slaughtered.
I'm going to give her a lecture on the problem.
I'm talking about the politics of this tonight.
What to you would be a victory if somebody was calling for this uncommitted vote?
What to you would be a victory tonight to get that message in Crime?
I'm not denying that pain.
All I'm saying that at a certain point after October the 7th, it becomes clear.
I mean, you have a right-wing prime minister.
We don't need to do this.
But you understand?
I'm not denying anybody's pain.
I am saying is that this president and our country has the power to say to Netanyahu, we need a permanent ceasefire.
Within reason, though, if I can push back here, I'm The only time hostages were released is when we had that brief ceasefire.
That is another reason why.
Yeah, I know Anderson Cooper and all those people on that panel sound like complete assholes, but maybe they're afraid of being stalked by Michael Rappaport.
Do you want to think of that?
He will hold you to account.
By the way, Michael Rappaport acts an actual record of stalking.
Yeah, you remember that?
Yeah, I do now.
Yeah.
Okay.
I forgave him for that a long time ago.
Me too.
I forgive him.
Great job, Anderson Cooper.
So those are the people that the shit libs think are good people, people like Anderson Cooper, Joe Biden.
These are the people they're voting for.
I think all the rest of the people, they just have that in their head.
Like he's in the crowd and then they also don't.
Because what's so fascinating is you haven't literally have not seen any of that all over Europe.
So what you're telling me is you don't watch the news.
Why do you even have this information to tell me?
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MSNBC sat down with some Michigan voters and they so I don't know if you know but they a bunch of them voted uncommitted.
What?
Yeah.
So but listen not to Biden.
But listen, listen, yes, that's right.
So listen how MSNBC's mind gets blown.
A pathway forward for you with Biden?
Oh, absolutely not.
You cannot keep killing people with our money and just keep thinking that, oh, we are stupid enough to elect you again because we'll fall in line.
We'll forget.
How can you, how can, like, this is an insult to me as a warrior.
For you, Biden has a pathway forward.
Biden has a pathway forward.
And what does that look like?
That is him calling for a well, that would be him.
I don't know, stop doing what the Nazis did in World War II, stop committing a genocide.
Is Ice cream?
Is that a lot to ask for?
So these people are actually doing what you're supposed to do.
They're asking for something for their vote instead of what everybody else in the world does, everybody I know in fucking Hollywood.
They go, oh, you got to vote for Joe Biden because of Trump.
I already have what I need.
Because it could be this fictional worse.
We already lived through four years of Trump.
He didn't do any of the shit that these people did.
Unfortunately, I didn't like it.
I know.
It felt like I wasn't like my.
So when someone tells you that you have to vote for Democrats to save democracy, what they're doing is lying.
When someone tells you you have to vote for Democrats to save democracy, what they're doing is lying.
What you need to do is demand something of the Democrats for your vote.
And if they don't give it to you, I've been saying this since 2016 with Hillary Clinton.
I've been saying that.
So do not vote for her.
You have to demand something for your vote.
Oh, then we got Trump.
And what happened?
What happened?
What happened?
He was a big meanie to Jim Acosta.
What happened?
He paused a shipment of weapons to Ukraine.
What happened?
To that impeachment, if you look back at it now, I'm like, wow, literally the best thing Trump ever did in office, he was impeached for.
Stopping that.
You printed bullshit for five years.
That's right.
So the only reason.
They impeached him?
So the biggest reason to vote for Donald Trump, they've made an impeachable offense.
Think about that.
That's what the Democrats have done.
So demand something for your vote.
If you tell your Democrat friends, they'll go, no, it's because he said to investigate.
And at the time they were saying this, remember, he tried to investigate a political rival.
No one thought Biden was going to be the guy.
He was like, that idiot.
There's no way.
Here we go.
Then the media ceasefire.
The straightforward, simple answer for the Biden administration is push for a ceasefire.
Stop aiding Israel in their war crimes.
And I guarantee you, there are enough people who would be willing to deal with it and vote for the man.
It is, and so many were.
But guess what?
They're not going to do that.
And they're going to make you vote for him anyway.
They're not going to do that.
They're not doing that.
They're not going to stop funding Israel and they're not going to stop being complicit in a genocide.
I'd like to know what path forward that guy sees for his stupid jacket, personally.
They're not doing anything.
They just create a bigger boogeyman.
That's all it is.
So you're saying we need to have a different thing to scare you.
Yes.
Like, it's amazing them watching this.
That's what this is.
Fathom the possibility that people are telling them, I don't like how.
But everything we've said is that the economy's great.
Restaurants are full, Kurt.
Restaurants are full.
The GDP is up.
Wages are way up because.
I've heard people say that.
I've heard people say, I go, but yeah, look how people got crushed under COVID.
Restaurants are full, Jimmy.
I've heard people say that.
Yeah, I saw Whoopee dumb shit Goldberg tell Dr. Phil, who beautifully man-splained reality to every one of those geniuses.
Every one of those geniuses.
And she was like, mad.
And because Dr. Phil, this is the best way.
He goes, that's not an opinion.
That's a fucking.
That's a fact.
And then they'd go to commercial.
Whoopie couldn't, you know, she could never go against a commercial.
I'm saving that clip for the live show.
That clip you're talking about when he said that's not an opinion.
That's it's one of the best.
It's better than any MCU movie in terms of what I want out of a superhero for him.
And then she's like, man, telling him something.
And Whoopee immediately has to go, well, we don't have time to talk about it.
Doctor, Whoopi.
Dr. Phil is.
He's read the literature.
Whoopee, what'd you do?
Here we go.
Let's listen to this.
It's insane to me to have the Democratic Party and the Biden administration sit here and essentially say, if Trump happens, it's your fault.
If you don't want a Trump president, it's insane.
That's what he said.
It's insane.
It's insane.
Well, maybe you're insane.
Are they just going to gaslight?
It's just crazy watching this MSNBC.
I've never had to sit and watch MSNBC besides the clips here to laugh at, and I'm on a plane, and it's just like the only thing on.
And it's unbelievable.
You'd have to have.
I don't think any of these people sit and watch MSNBC.
Let me get this.
Let's get through this because I got to go.
See, then, are you not worried about what he could do domestically to this country?
Are you not worried about what Trump's going to do domestically?
He was already president for four years.
Will it be?
He did the step back.
He let black people out of prison.
What else?
What are the horrible things he did?
He's paused.
Do you mean I might miss out on this party we've been having?
Well, he's going to ruin the amazing time we've had, all of us for four years.
Wow.
You know, it's like a vaccine.
I'm willing to take short-term pain for a long-term gain.
I'm willing to let go of Joe Biden and oppose Joe Biden, make him a one-term president, punish Joe Biden by making him a one-term president and pairing his loss with the genocide in Gaza.
So this is the result of people not doing what I said.
You have to withhold your vote from Democrats.
If they would have done this and put a hurt on Democrats and let them know in 2020, I mean, you're voting for Joe Biden.
He's the biggest corrupt Democrat maybe in my lifetime.
The guy couldn't run for president because he was a bigger liar than Trump the first couple times he tried running.
He got caught plagiarizing speech and lying about everything, including his college record, including his racist statements, everything.
He's been a tool of Wall Street.
He's been an enemy of workers.
He's been a warmongering maniac.
And this is the guy that they now say is a decent person, and he's the antidote to Trump.
He is not an antidote to Trump.
The antidote.
In a lot of ways, he's worse because people won't.
People would get upset if Trump did the stuff that Joe Biden's doing, but they won't get upset because Joe Biden's doing it.
Do you see what I'm saying?
Do you get the point?
And if you would have done this, now it just gets worse.
Every four years, now you're voting for a genocide.
Cornell West in 2020 told you to vote for a genocider.
That's how bad it's gotten.
So what it's going to get, and if you vote for him this time, it'll be even worse in four more years.
He's a Genocider.
Dimensions.
I just realized, I don't have this one over my head.
These are all Michigan Muslims that they're bewildered.
Bewildered.
How would you not?
That is unbelievable.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Why does our democracy, why is having a Trump presidency more important than those people's lives?
Why is our democracy more important than thousands of men, women, and children being killed?
So, first of all, that's a false premise.
This idea that if Donald Trump gets elected, we're going to lose our democracy.
So, whoever becomes president just gets to do whatever they want.
I guess we should have a vote there.
I thought we have checks and balances.
I thought we have a Supreme Court.
I thought we have a Senate.
I thought we have a House.
I thought we have state governments.
Yeah, not to mention Google, Disney.
What are you talking about?
That we're going to somehow with Trump becomes president, he just becomes a dictator.
That's never happened.
That's not how this country's set up.
So, they're just making shit up now.
That's it.
They've been making shit up since 2016, at least.
They don't mean for you.
They mean for their pals.
They're afraid Trump's going to get retribution on the dipshits that work in D.C. That's right.
And this is how unbelievable these people are.
Where they go, we'll lose our democracy.
They're talking about for themselves.
They're talking about for themselves.
They expect you to give a shit about them.
Good for the Michigan.
Are you worried that I won't be happy?
Good for the Michigan voters.
Demand something for your vote.
Do not participate in genocide.
It's got to be a red line for you.
Some people even voted.
It's got to be a red line somewhere.
Not only are they bombing the people of Gaza, but they're literally starving them too.
And they're blocking aid to get to them, food, and things like medicine.
They're blocking.
It's a war.
That's what people say.
Bad things happen in the war.
Of course, you starve kids in a war and then complain about Putin doing it right out.
It's amazing.
It is amazing.
So UN expects expert says Israel, UN expert says.
Are you an expert?
Are you an expert?
Says Israel's forced starvation of Gazans is genocide.
Intentionally depriving people of food is clearly a war crime.
They are admitted.
They're saying they're doing it.
They've been doing it for how long now?
Right out of the gate.
No water, fuel, or food.
That's what they said.
Until Hamas surrenders.
Until Hermas surrenders.
Two million people.
That's a war crime.
Yeah.
A million of those people are children.
Did you know that?
A million of those people are children.
I think you did it to old people or whoever the fuck.
That's a crime.
The top United States expert on the right to food on Tuesday accused Israel of perpetrating genocide by intentionally starving Palestinians during the relentless assault on Gaza.
Most of Gaza's 2.3 million people, around 90% have been forced to forcibly displace by Israeli bombardment and invasion.
They're starving.
90% of the people in Gaza are starving.
Okay?
This isn't a war.
This is a genocide.
Israel Israeli forces are bombing food production and distribution centers, destroying crops and killing livestock, attacking fishers and firing on and blocking aid convoys.
This isn't a war.
That's not a war.
Children are dying while people desperately try to survive are resorting to eating whatever they can get into their stomachs, including grass, livestock feed, and horses.
Intentionally depriving people of food is clearly a war crime, says Michael Fakhri of the United Nations Special Rapporteur on the Right to Food and a law professor at the University of Oregon.
Israel has announced its intention to destroy the Palestinian people in whole or in part simply by being Palestinian for being Palestinian.
He continued, in my view, as a UN human rights expert, this is now a situation of genocide.
This means the state of Israel in its entirety is culpable and should be held accountable.
So what it means is the Israeli government and those people in the Israeli military are just like Nazis.
In fact, you could call them Nazis.
In fact, I do.
There are no reason to intentionally block the passage of humanitarian aid or intentionally obliterate small-scale fishing vessels, greenhouses, and orchards in Gaza, other than to deny people access to food.
Here we go.
Here we are.
Here we go.
So even before Israeli forces moved into Rafah, we were raising the alarm that every single person in Gaza is hungry and that at least one quarter of the population was starving and that famine was imminent.
So at this point, I mean, I'm running out of ways of describing the inhumanity and the violence and the brutality.
Even if there was a ceasefire today, already the impact is affecting generations because so many children have been affected.
So the key thing to remember is that over 1 million children live in Gaza.
Their future is at stake.
What we know is that children under five, this is 335,000 children, are at the risk of permanent physical and cognitive impairment.
We've never seen this degree of hunger.
We've never seen an entire population like this.
So this is over 2.2 million people made to go hungry so completely and so quickly.
So the problem is that not only is Israel slowing down and at times blocking humanitarian aid, it's also destroying the food system within Gaza based on all the statements that we've been reading and all the statements that Israel has been made in both as government and individual authorities.
Their intent is ethnic cleansing.
Their intent is to punish all civilians, all people in Gaza.
Their intent is to push them out of Gaza, to punish them collectively.
And so this war is not about self-defense.
This war is not about Hamas attacking on October 7th.
Israel's intent is to punish all Palestinians simply because they're Palestinian.
So you tell me a guy never attacked you and you had to defend yourself by slow starving his family to death.
You don't have a right to that self-defense?
To starve the family of your attacker.
Under Article 2 of the Convention of Prevention and Punishment of Crime of Genocide, the crime of genocide is defined as killing members of a group, causing serious physical or mental harm, intentionally inflicting on the group conditions meant to destroy it in whole or in part, imposing measures meant to prevent births or forcibly transferring members of the group.
So this is the definition of what a genocide is, that's what they're doing.
And Anderson Cooper doesn't want you to talk about it.
Well, if it offends you to call it genocide for some reason, whatever else it is, it's still real bad.
You don't have to have a magic word on it to know that's a crime that's going on.
The amount of food entering Gaza, which even before the war was under an Israeli economic stranglehold, they were counting calories.
No, I know.
That's like real Nazis.
Yeah, real German precision.
Yes.
Like making a Volvo.
So it has fallen dramatically in recent weeks amid Israeli attacks targeting police escorting aid convoys.
This has exposed the convoys to attacks and looting by criminal groups and desperate civilians, forcing the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestinian Refugees in the Near East or UNRWA to suspend humanitarian deliveries.
Israeli civilians are also.
By the way, the Israeli people are for this.
They're cool with this.
The ones who aren't are being beaten in the street by the Israeli state.
And there's Israelis who aren't.
And the Israelis who are against this are being beaten in the streets by the Israeli police.
By the heroic IDF.
Yes.
Israeli civilians are also taking it upon themselves to block humanitarian aid from reaching starving Palestinians by traveling in caravans to border crossings to prevent aid trucks from entering Gaza.
Their actions have sometimes taken on a perversely festive atmosphere.
Last week, right-wing extremists set up a giant inflatable bouncy castle where aid trucks are meant to pass through the Karim Shalom border crossing.
Get ready.
There will be inflatable cotton inflatables, cotton candy, popcorn, and slushies, the organizer of an aid blockade announced.
The following day, Mohamed Fatah, a two-month-old baby, starved to death in Gaza City.
He wasn't the only one.
So they set up a blockade and then set up like a party.
Party so they can block.
Come on out.
We're going to block.
Come on out.
We're going to have slushies and a party, and we're going to block humanitarian aid getting to the Palestinians.
Unfortunately, many kids have died in the past weeks.
If we don't get the proper aid urgently, we will be losing more and more to malnutrition.
He also said on Tuesday that the speed at which malnutrition is spreading among Gaza's children is astounding.
The bombing and people being killed directly is brutal, but this starvation and the wasting and stunting of children is torturous and vile.
It will have a long-term impact on the population physically, cognitively, and morally.
All things indicate that this has been intentional.
As the Guardian noted, intentionally starving civilians by depriving them of objects indispensable to their lives, including willfully impeding relief supplies, is a war crime, according to the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court.
Okay, why'd World War II end?
If Hiroshima Nagasaki, Jimmy, come on, it's a war.
It's a war.
That's what people say.
Indispensable objects include food, water.
The young Turks defended nuclear bombing.
The fact Turks said that?
I'm surprised.
They defended it.
In my face.
Indispensable objects include food, water, and shelter, which Israel is systematically denying the Palestinians.
Starvation is a war crime under the Geneva Convention.
It was also recognized as a war crime in general violation of international law by the UN Security Council in 2018.
Experts say an immediate ceasefire is the best and quickest way to avert further catastrophe.
We don't need a lecture, Jimmy.
Let's just talk about the politics of this.
Come on, let's just keep you in the politics.
I mean, that's like every day is a sicker, goddamn thing.
And I'm noticing a split between my friends who are like, there's a bunch of people who have no idea, okay?
And there's some that are like, yeah, no, you got to do that.
The thing that's shocking to me is that people say you have to do this.
And I'm like, I don't remember even in our worst moments of Iraq, where we did some not great things, a thing where we were starving the kids and setting up cotton candy just out of reach.
Seems a little vindictive and a little bit, I don't know.
I don't want to say that they're not the most moral military on the planet, but it sure don't sound like it.
And they point the finger at Putin.
They still get people to hate Putin.
Putin never did anything like this.
That's one thing I'm really am happy about is this psychopath shit happening at the same time as they're trying to go, ask, why don't you ask Putin about Navalny?
Yeah, I know.
Every more, I mean, that's just beautiful.
That's a thing that you really can't hide.
You can say all the propaganda you want, but unless people are being paid enough to purposely not look at it, they're going to have to look at it because you're putting them up side by side.
And it's like looking at Anderson Cooper next to that, what's her name?
Tina.
Yeah, Nina Turkey.
The contrast is astounding.
I couldn't agree more.
So guess what?
The Slovakian prime minister is now launching an investigation into the vaccine.
Wow.
So, yeah.
This guy's been out of line a lot lately.
I have two stories.
He's going against NATO.
Well, let's listen.
So let's listen to this.
So, ladies and gentlemen of the progressive Slovakia and the opposition, have you seen the statistics on how our deaths from various cardiovascular events have risen because of vaccinations?
But you reject it.
Of course, you reject it.
You will claim the vaccination was the best thing in the world.
What do you know about how many expired vaccines we have left and how much money has been wasted?
What do you know about purchasing medical equipment and tests?
You are aware that we...
You are aware that we have demonstrated very clearly the connection of a company from Trivara and the chairman of one of the opposition political parties, the hundreds of thousands, millions worth of purchases, completely useless.
Hang on.
He's talking fast.
What do you know about management?
What do you know about what was going on in terms of taking various measures, which, in our view, increased the morbidity substantially, more than was perhaps the case in other countries?
And you all laughed at other states, other countries.
You laughed at Russia where they built on the principle of individual visits to patients by doctors and managed it.
That was funny.
Much better than we managed it here in Slovakia.
We have 21,000 deaths, which we link to the fact that the government that have been here since 2020 have been unable to govern and have looked only at the unnecessary medical devices and often vaccines in huge quantities.
I do not even want to talk about the European level anymore.
You know that I have been very open and I have said it to the president of the European Commission openly also that those suspicions that are linked to her and to the purchase, in fact, the largest purchase in the history of the history of the European Commission of vaccines when she exchanged secret text messages with the director of Pfizer.
Excuse me.
Is he the president of Slovakia or the host of a podcast?
Because that's what it sounds like.
I like my leaders to talk into an ice cream cone like a microphone and tell me the vaccine's safe.
So I don't know what the hell this is.
He's talking about when she exchanged secret text messages with the director of Pfizer, literally and to the letter.
And when and when we when a report and when a report was written and issued to the ridicule of members of the European Parliament, which was all blacked out.
Remember that?
Remember that?
Do you remember that?
Yeah, it's all blacked out.
Oh, man.
And we will simply never know the truth of what role the pharmaceutical companies played and who actually organized this whole circus around COVID.
Okay, now here's the good news.
We're making burnt viruses with China again.
That's the good news.
It's not all lost.
We're funding more gain of function.
We made up with the Wuhan lab.
No, they were innocent.
It was a pangolin a guy fucked up.
And we're back making those viruses.
Under these conditions, ladies and gentlemen, the government of the Slovak Republic has decided to include a commitment in the government's program statement to deal with this issue.
The Slovak public simply needs an answer, needs an answer about vaccination, what it actually was.
Why people were vaccinated with various experimental vaccines without any tests?
Why all sorts of drugs were pushed into people?
Why there was statewide testing.
Who was buying?
Why were they buying?
Wait a minute.
Who was buying?
Why were they buying?
What quantities were being bought?
How much money did it cost?
And we'll end with billions and billions.
You can grin all you want because you don't even know anything other than showing disrespect for another opinion.
I mean, look, it would be a lot of black marker to put that out, to have to cover all that up.
Yep.
You know, democracy is about sometimes respecting other opinions.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, my God.
Here we go.
When you are here for the third week talking about the criminal code, so it sounds like he's meeting resistance.
Nobody is even cursing you.
We are listening to you.
You are talking.
So be kind enough if we have a different opinion.
That's a dog.
Respect it.
Even if you disagree with it, under these conditions, we have decided to create the Office of the Government Plenipotentiary.
Is that how you would pronounce that?
Plenipotentiary?
I think so.
Hang on.
So he's creating a new office to look into this.
That's what it sounds like.
To deal with these issues.
We have not only appointed the plenipotentiary today, but we have also empowered him.
It's one guy?
One guy.
In terms of obtaining information from various institutions.
So I'm going to guess he's like their COVID czar.
Oh.
Right?
And they call it the plenipentiary.
Yeah.
In terms of obtaining information from various institutions, in particular, we will obtain information from chief hygienists, from the chief hygienist.
We will ask questions to the National Health Information Center.
We still want to know, based on what is available to us, what has actually happened?
We still want to know, based on what is available to us, what actually freaking happened during COVID.
So you're telling me that America doesn't even have the investigative skills of Slovakia.
No.
I think that Dr. Kotler, a member of the National Assembly, so I guess there's a doctor who's also a politician, is sufficiently equipped in terms of information.
And I see that he is also prepared to assemble a team.
I have asked him that before we make any public statements, we first go through everything with the government.
And I am absolutely, I repeat again, absolutely convinced that his work will lead to results that we will publish.
And we will tell the Slovak public what on earth actually happened during COVID.
We know one thing today.
The previous government has completely failed COVID-19 and have 21,000 dead people on their hands and have made apparently a huge amount of money on the unnecessary purchase of various medical devices and vaccines.
a conspiracy describing how capitalism works.
Poprosím, venia si na zbytočnej gube rôznych zdravotnických pomocok a na vakcínach.
Jack P. Thank you very much.
You know the most offensive part of that?
None of those people he appointed were a woman of size and color, not one, to do his crazy investigation.
So Kat, she's the one who tweeted this out.
That's where we found it.
She says, eyes on Slovakian Prime Minister Robert Fico, or do you say FICO, who has just announced a COVID inquiry that will investigate the vaccine, excess deaths, the European Union Pfizer deal, and big pharma's ability to control the government.
Do you remember when the people from the European Union were trying to bring up the deals that Pfizer had made with them and they showed you the contract and it was all blacked out?
They weren't even allowed to see the contract, which means you're not allowed to see, which means nobody knows what's going on.
What are you, a doctor expert?
What are you, a document expert?
The Slovak public simply needs an answer.
I'll give them an answer.
Your prime minister is a dead man.
Yep.
Needs an answer about vaccinations, what it actually was, why people were vaccinated with various experimental vaccines, why all sorts of drugs were pushed into people.
He accused the previous government not only of failing the people, but of having 21,000 deaths at their hands.
So there it is.
So now the prime minister of Slovakia, I guess he's not bought.
Wow, he's one of these guys that's just asking questions, huh?
Yeah, he's just asking questions.
Doing his own research.
I hate people like that.
Oh, I'm just asking questions to know a thing that I would like the answer to.
Oh, look at me.
I'm the president of Slovakia.
I don't trust science.
Mr. Questions over here.
Mr. Questions.
I'm just going to ask questions, even if it is upsetting to the apple cart.
So, Kurt, let me just remind everybody at YouTube that the vaccine is super safe and effective.
Yeah, there's your answer.
And Slovak.
And though it doesn't stop transmission or contraction of the virus, which is what you probably thought vaccines did, that's not what they do anymore.
They just keep you from getting seriously ill, hospitalized, or dead.
That's what they do now.
You know what, Jimmy?
I was about to complain.
And Slovak sounds like a slur for someone from Slovakia, but no, I'm glad it is.
I'm glad it sounds like that.
And this Slovak can go F himself.
Slovak could go Ediko.
What are you some Slovak?
Yeah, Edi Kok, Slovak.
That's your answer.
So look, isn't that amazing?
You got to go to Slovakia to get some politician to speak some sense about this.
So I think that's great.
I'm looking forward to what kind of work they produce.
But hopefully, the people that he's appointed now don't get corrupted by big pharma money because you know they're going to.
They're going to come at him with all kinds of money.
They're going to try to discredit them in the press and they'll come at him with money.
They better not be less corrupt in Slovakia than here.
God damn it.
And whatever happens, don't tell Stephen Colbert because he can't even write.
He can't even.
So a concerned citizen tweeted this out.
So this is the former prime minister.
Remember her?
Of the UK, Liz Truss.
Remember to nuke somebody?
Are you prepared to use nuclear weapons?
Remember that?
We were laughing.
Oh, I forgot about that.
Looked like a smelling bee.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Not should you do it, but you're probably going to do it.
So listen to this.
So she's on with Steve Bannon.
Sloppy Steve.
So sloppy.
So sad.
He's a drunk.
We know it.
We all know it.
So let's watch this.
Is he?
Is he?
Look at his face.
I can't tell.
He looks good.
He's a weary red nose.
I think he looks good.
Here we go.
So here's what she found out when she became prime minister.
Watch this.
I thought that if I got to the top of the tree, I would be able to implement those conservative policies.
Do you think Prime Minister?
Yeah, I think.
As a little girl, I'll say, if I get prime minister, I'll be like Churchill, change the country.
Is that how it works?
Exactly.
And what I discovered was that I was not holding the levers.
The levers were held by the Bank of England, by the Office of Budget Responsibility.
They weren't held by the Prime Minister or the Chancellor.
What's the name of this show called Shit You Already Knew with Steve Bannon?
And by the way, very ballsy of her to bring this up now that she's out of office and nobody will really hear it.
Like she was in.
She could go, it's crazy.
Hey, Hermione, back when you were at Hogwarts, that's the time to bring up the issues that the school administration.
She didn't bring it up.
She's got more to say.
I think that's a massive...
Hang on.
You're saying the central bank, the Bank of England, is one of the things that controls.
Are you a conspiracy theory person?
You almost sound like Warhammer.
You're a MAGA.
What I'm saying, Steve, is that if the Bank of England governor can't be sacked and the Prime Minister can be sacked, then the Bank of England governor is going to have more power than the Prime Minister.
And that is a problem in a democracy.
What are you, Putin?
Why is she saying it like she's running for office?
And that is a problem.
She's like amateur Vivek Ramaswamy delivery.
I mean, I'm glad she's saying it.
She's saying she found out that the governor, the guy who runs the Bank of England, can't be fired.
But the Prime Minister can be.
Because she's not prime minister anymore.
So she didn't look into the technicalities, the technical parts of the contract, being prime minister, until roughly the time you looked into that bad European tour deal on your contract is what you're telling me.
The prime minister of England.
Yes.
Hey, this isn't a good deal.
I'm supposed to go do this in two months.
This isn't a good deal.
I thought when I get to the top of the tree, I have the levers.
I thought when I sell out a theater in five minutes in England, that I'll actually get paid for it.
Guys, Clash of Civilizations, we're in the good one.
Remember that.
Western civilization.
Best one there is.
So she so eat.
So do you, but here's the thing.
Do you believe her that she thought that when I got to be the UK prime minister, that I thought I would be in control?
And that's when she found out she wasn't?
Can I be honest?
No.
I hate to say it, but no.
I guess because she said it like she's delivering Mike.
Yeah.
And I found, because she's doing the, she's doing all the Bill Clinton hitting the word things and looking around at the crowd.
Well, let me put it this way, Steve.
Instead of just simply saying, yes, the deep state is real.
It's all fake.
I should know.
Instead of saying, like, let me say it in a real, if you boo, boo, boo, boop, and oopa doopa, 2024.
Like, she's saying it like she's running for something sometime.
What is this that they're at?
I don't know what this is that they're at.
And Steve, if we are going to fight China in the wars of tomorrow to defend China Israel, aka Taiwan.
So she's just revealing that as former prime minister, she's not running it, that the banks aren't running it.
You know, so when you hear people say all wars are bankers' wars, now you know why they say it.
Now you know what I say when I tell you that the people who run this country aren't the people in Congress.
They're not the people in the White House.
They work for the people who run the country.
The people who run the country are a global international handful of billionaires.
And they're the ones who have created failed nations, nation states all around the globe that create this immigrant refugee problem that flooded are flooding the Western world right now and keeping the borders open.
And it's there, they're keeping you from health care.
They're keeping you from a living wage.
There's no infrastructure in the United States.
We don't have bullet trains.
They have them all over China.
Jimmy, we don't even have decent subways in the United States.
Tucker Carlson proved that.
And when he told people that, again, we're a nation of adult children of alcoholic.
We don't get angry that we're being fucked over, that our subways are disgusting in the richest nation in the world.
And you go to someplace like Russia and they're pristine and beautiful and they all have health care.
They're not pissed off at that.
They're pissed off that Tucker Carlson told you about it.
They're pissed off that's what an adult child of an alcoholic does.
They're not mad at the alcoholic.
That's right.
Jon Stewart.
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
They're not mad at the imagine what dad did to you.
So children of alcoholics don't get mad at the alcoholic abusing them.
They get mad when someone points it out.
Plea for sanity.
That's what we're.
Yes.
That's what we, and that's what we are.
We're a nation of adult children of alcoholics.
We're not mad that we're being screwed over, that our cities are being systematically ruined, that you're being denied health care that doesn't bankrupt you if you get really sick.
You're being denied your health, your education is an enormous expense.
You don't have good infrastructure.
You don't have good public transportation.
You don't have clean, safe cities.
People aren't upset at that.
They're upset that Tucker Carlson told us about it.
Jimmy, did I tell you that?
I've been telling this.
I mean, people sometimes get it, though, but I did one of those personal inventories of all the money I blew getting high on drugs for 20-something years.
Yeah.
I finally did it.
And it's a lot.
It's like enough to put out a hit on a journalist.
Oh, yeah.
No, I could do like three botched Tuckers Tucker Girls and jobs and still have enough left over for three days worth of life-saving insulin out of pocket with no insurance.
I couldn't even begin to add up all the money I spent on weed and booze.
Is better than mean insulin?
Drugs you need just to live if you don't have insurance.
And you, okay, that you that's like you have an addiction where you're a bigger loser than a fentanyl addict because you just need to spend all this money on a daily habit that's ridiculous that doesn't get you high.
And other people, that's like luxury that they blow their money getting high.
That's what a crazy ass country this is.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, Jimmy, there's Ar Pacino.
Master Thespian in front of the show, Al Pacino.
How are you doing?
Jimmy, I'm on top of the world.
I'm 83 and just getting started at night.
Yeah.
I got a new baby.
He's got a baby.
I just signed up for Hello Fresh.
And a third thing that I already forgot in the course of saying this sentence.
That sounds great, Al.
Jimmy, as you know, I got my ear to the ground of the entertainment industry.
Yeah.
Which has been so good to be over the years.
But some of what's going on, I do not understand.
Like what?
Right.
We got Dune Part 2 coming out.
Yeah.
I still don't know what the fuck Dune is.
Me either.
It's like Star Wars if they never left that first planet.
Giant worms?
Nobody wants that shit.
Yeah.
And the two romantic leads look like Romeo and Juliet if they were fucking starving to death.
Enough for me.
Okay, I hear you.
Also, people imagine that Barbie didn't get nominated for every single Oscar award.
A movie based on a toy.
Do people know what the fucking Academy Awards are?
No.
Remember when Transformer 2, the rise of the Decepticons, won best picture?
No.
Yummy needs it.
I get you.
But one little piece of news really got my attention and will affect me personally.
Oh, yeah, what's that?
Jimmy, do you know what an intimacy coordinator is?
I am afraid I do not know.
An intimacy coordinator is someone with a special job where they go on a movie set and coordinate intimacy.
Yeah, I'm afraid I don't understand.
What are you talking about?
Okay, how do I explain this?
All right, look.
Back in the day, when an actor and an actress had a love scene, it was a fucking free-for-all.
Believe me.
You just got naked, and who knows what would happen?
Especially if there was a blanket over you.
And any actor who never got treated to an oops was not a bona fide movie star.
Sorry to tell you.
Interesting.
I love Hollywood of old.
I'll tell you that.
I heard that about Nick Nolt.
Tell me about it, Bill Brother.
In more recent years, for some reason, actresses decided we don't really like that, that system.
So, a special job was created.
Yet another job that only women are allowed to have.
Intimacy coordinator.
So now when they film a love scene in a movie, one of these broads shows up on set and starts bossing everybody around, even the director.
They make sure to learn everybody's boundaries because everybody has boundaries.
Yes.
And then they make sure these boundaries are enforced.
No hands here, no hands there.
Public pensions for everybody.
I don't know.
Maybe that's probably a better system, to be honest.
Well, that's easy for you to say.
You never got an uh-oh from Julie Christie in the 1970s from Don't Look Back.
All right, fair enough.
So, now what's happened is this: there's some movie called The Miller Girl or some shit where Martin Freeman, who's like 55 years old, has sex scenes with Jenna Ortega, who's like 20 and as fucking hot as they get.
Al, please.
Don't give me that.
Don't give me that.
Let me guess.
You're one of these middle-aged men who pretends they don't know who Dua Lipa is.
Fuck you.
You know who Dua Lipa is.
You root for her OnlyFans account.
All right, moving on.
Well, anyway, they had an intimacy coordinator on that set, and she got in trouble because she blabbed about all those sex scenes in an interview.
So now SAG After, my beloved Union instituted new rules to put a gag order on these broads so they can't say what happened on set.
Okay, again, probably a good idea.
We agree.
This story tells me two important things: one, Hollywood is once again making movies where hot young starlets bang old-ass dudes.
And two, everybody's got to keep their traps shut about what really went on during the filming.
The golden age of Hollywood is back, baby, and just in time for my golden years.
My pachino sance, if you will.
Al, aren't you afraid this just makes you sound like a dirty old lech?
Well, I'm just talking about my heart here.
Bear in mind, I just knocked up a woman in her 20s, so we're not really too far afield and taking it to the screen.
Al, these rules are in place to ensure actors' privacy and safety, not allow you to get handsy with young women on set.
Rules are subject to interpretation, my friend.
Either way, I want to extend my thanks to SAG AFTR.
I guarantee you, I will not sag after I hop into sack with Jenna Ortega and the camera starts rolling.
That much, I can tell you.
Oh, my God, Elk, stop.
There's something about when the camera starts rolling, it makes it even hotter.
I can't explain it.
Well, this has been disgusting, but I think we need to go.
All that's left is to get my agent on this.
He picks the script.
I picked the leading lady.
Jenna Ortega herself probably needs it to break.
But maybe Selena Gomez, uh-huh.
I like those curfew types.
Still have a little baby fat on them.
Oh, Sidney Sweeney.
She looks like kind of a young Beverly D'Angelo.
Take a little trip down memory lane.
Okay, this call's over.
Goodbye, Al.
Whoa!
Tua Lipa!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
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Freak out.
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All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
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That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.