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Dec. 1, 2023 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:04:07
20231201_TJDS_20231201_Podcast_-_113023_12.07PM
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We're doing live comedy shows in Oxnard, California, Venice, California, Palmdale, California, Omaha, Nebraska, Des Moines, Milwaukee, Lansing, Michigan, Ben, Oregon, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, and Boston.
Plus, we're gonna put a date in Edmonton, Canada, plus Vancouver.
See ya.
Go to JimmyDoor.com for a link for all those tickets.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jim Jam.
Jim Jam Jum.
Strong verb.
It's President Joe U.S. Biden.
Hello, Mr. President.
I don't know what I'm saying, Kurt.
And hello to you, too, sir.
And also to you and yours.
How was your Thanksgiving, man?
Please say it was good.
Please, God.
It was very nice.
Thank you for asking.
Ah, thank fucking Christ.
It's been expensive.
Ours was good, too.
They had the whole nine yards, a traditional thing.
Tasty, juicy bird.
All the spuds you could want.
And the sweetest treats you can imagine.
Also, turkey, potatoes, and starfruit.
Then Jimmy Carter's wife died.
LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Yes, I saw you attended the funeral.
No, I didn't.
Only the first ladies go to that.
It's a girls' night out type of thing.
Jesus.
Plus, I'm busy.
I have work to do.
What are you working on?
I'll tell you what I'm working on.
What's that?
What's what?
What you were gonna tell me?
I can't remember now.
God damn it, you can't do that.
It knocks the fire out of my head.
Just don't say anything ever.
What was what was I gonna tell you again?
What you're working on.
Oh, right.
Prices.
Prices?
As in, they're too fucking high.
Inflation and supply chain issues should decrease, but the prices for consumer goods remain too high.
It's putting a strain on working families.
Look at eggs.
Remember, remember when eggs cost so much?
Boy, do I ever?
Yeah, it was a nightmare.
Well, turns out that was industry collusion, and they're now in big trouble.
They were literally price-gouging American consumers.
Eggs were so expensive because these goddamn chicken fuckers.
Mr. President, please.
Where do you think eggs come from, dumb shit?
Chickens getting fucked.
All right.
So, yeah, I'm making sure that doesn't keep happening so that ordinary Americans aren't constantly getting squeezed to the pump or in the grocery store.
And how are you going to accomplish that?
I told the corporations, lower your prices.
I said it right to them.
You just told them that's it?
That's what you did?
Jimmy, my experience: if you simply tell a corporation to do something that will end up reducing their profits, they will do it.
Or maybe that's a dream I had when I had a fever and a bladder infection at the same time.
Either way, it's what I'm growing with.
Just telling corporations to lower prices.
That's right.
And not just corporations, people.
What people?
What people?
Let's start with you, fuckface.
Me?
Yes.
I took the liberty of going to JimmyDoor.com, and I can tell you what I saw there made my heart sink as an American.
Jimmy, some venues, tickets for you start at $35 per person for a working family of four with chicken strips for dinner and enough liquor to get drunk enough to heckle.
That runs well into the hundreds of dollars for one night.
Jimmy, that's not sustainable.
Okay, all right.
First of all, I don't set the prices at comedy clubs, and also families are not coming to my show to feed themselves.
Okay, it's an optional night out of entertainment.
It's not grocery shopping.
Would you say clothes are a necessity?
Well, yeah, sure.
Well, then why are Jimmy Door t-shirts?
$22.
That's not sustainable.
Actually, they're on sale for $16 right now.
Still too much.
Lower it more.
Quit price gouging.
All right, I'll look into it.
How are your Christmas plans coming along?
Well, up and down.
Jill unveiled the White House decorations the other day.
Everything looks nice, but it's just too much shit, if you ask me.
And then we got that giant 40-foot Christmas tall tree.
But, you know, last night the wind blew it over.
Yeah, I saw that.
Very dramatic.
Yeah, you're telling me.
You know that dog we have that bites everybody?
Well, he saw it happen.
And Jimmy, I'm telling you, this dog went apeshit.
When that tree fell over, he started barking in a way that I've never heard before.
Like, yeah, dogs will bark at stuff, but every once in a while, a dog will see something that drives them insane.
This thing was acting like its psyche got fractured.
Really?
Like, you saw a UFO laying in the yard and a little green man step out and gave him the double bird.
Barking with this mixture of fear and wrath.
Barking just shitting all over the place.
But hey, that's Christmas for you.
What are you going to do about that crazy dog?
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
What's that?
What's what?
I god damn it.
I told you not to do that.
Now I can't remember.
I'm embarrassed and also I don't care anymore.
And I have to go yell at corporations.
Goodbye.
And may your Christmas tree remain standing.
Ha ha ha ha.
Establishment media sets of augmented fighting.
So good luck.
Bullshit we can't afford Why is fomenting this Whoa Watch and see as the jack off The medium speeds And jumps the medium And hits them head on It's the chimney tour show.
You know, this show became infamous or famous because we did a thing called Force to Vote.
And we figured out that the squad, AOC, Corey Bush, and those people who call themselves the squad actually had enough votes to stop Nancy Pelosi from being elected speaker in 2020 or 2021.
And we wanted them to withhold their vote and force a vote on Medicare for All is in the middle of a deadly pandemic.
A vote for Medicare for All on the House of the Floor is what AOC ran on.
It's what Nancy Pelosi claimed she wanted two generations ago.
So we decided everybody agrees on force the vote.
The DSA in their handbook says they want to force a vote on Medicare for All.
Everybody had agreed on forcing a vote on Medicare for All, right up until the point where it became feasible to actually do it.
So just like the Republicans screwed over McCarthy and he had to go through 14 rounds of voting because they withheld their vote, we wanted the squad to do the same thing.
And a lot of people lied about it.
Jenk Uger lied about it.
You saw David Sirota come on this show and try to lie about it.
You saw Ryan Grimm then defended them.
And so now Ryan Grimm has written a book about the squad.
So that's why he was defending them because he was practicing access journalism because he was writing a book about the squad that praises them, praises them for doing absolutely nothing.
So watch this.
Force the vote comes up during their interview on fucking points with Crystal and Sager, Saga.
And watch how uncomfortable it makes Crystal.
And watch how Grian Grimm tries to bullshit his way through it.
This is great.
Watch this.
Okay.
Interesting.
Yeah, who among us?
But that is an interesting sort of question for the squad: is how they do they force the vote?
Do they, I mean, how has their thinking?
The answer is no.
The answer is they don't force votes.
They never go against the establishment.
Here we go.
Evolved on using their numbers to force some of these conversations.
I think it, you know, they have definitely heard the criticism, and it's something I think that they've heard the criticism.
First of all, AOC won't even force a vote over sunscreen, okay?
A prediction: Ukraine is going to force a vote before the squad does.
There's other ones for this.
That's lower.
By the way, do you remember that they made a documentary about the squad called Knocking Down the House or Knock Down the House?
The AOC.
Knock down the house, the AOC documentary.
Actually, what that knock down the house means is keep your head down and try to stay in power.
Or maybe pivot to easing sunscreen regulations.
That's what she did.
That's the kind of great stuff you're going to find in Ryan Grimm's book.
The topic is a.
I don't.
No.
Thank you.
Hey, no.
You know who is going to force a vote?
Apex is going to force a vote to kick your asses out of office.
That who is.
No, it didn't come through.
No, it's okay.
He's going, they heard the criticism.
They heard the criticism.
She didn't ask if they can hear stuff.
Ryan, would you say the squad is legally deaf?
Let's play that again.
Let's play that amazing.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Who among us?
But that is an interesting sort of question for the squad: is how they do they force the vote?
Do they, I mean, how has their thinking evolved on using their numbers to force some of these conversations?
I think they have definitely heard the criticism.
They've heard that.
See, we were afraid that they were deaf, but thank God Ryan Grimm is there to report that they actually aren't deaf and they actually can hear criticism.
They heard the criticism.
It wasn't just criticism.
What they did around forced to vote was reveal that they are defenders of the status quo and they will never go against the establishment of their own party when it comes to anything seriously economic.
He said they're sorting through it.
Yes, their five sentences work and the information is going in.
Critique is going their earhole.
Now it's a sorting game.
It's just a sort of sorted out.
So again, he does that thing where you try to make it more complicated than it actually is.
They get the idea of force to vote.
The thing that they said, by the way.
You didn't make that up, right?
Didn't see that?
So here, they ran on it.
They ran on force to vote.
So this is Ilhan Omar before Force to Vote.
Yes, we can with the slim Democratic majority in the next Congress.
Anything can be possible.
It will literally take five courageous progressive members to get concessions on progressive policies.
That's what we wanted them to do.
They refused to do it.
Not only did they refuse to do it, they refused to even talk to the people who were asking them to do it.
They refused to show up to a town hall that had 100,000 people attend that wanted them to do it.
They did not do it.
They wouldn't listen to us.
And what they did was they then called us sexists.
It's exactly what they did to Bernie Sanders followers, what the Hillary Clinton campaign did to us.
They called us sexists and they called us violent.
That's what they did.
And so F the Voter, they changed it.
Here's Kyle Kalinsky who has turned into an apologist for them all along.
He says these were some of the main points in favor of forcing a vote on Medicare for all during a pandemic.
Sometimes it's good to get members on the record so people can't make excuses later.
Sometimes these votes create real political pressure that forces developments.
And sometimes we vote for the historical record to let future generations know we did everything we could.
Well, they didn't force a vote.
So they know now we know they didn't do anything they could.
They didn't do anything.
They didn't do anything.
Wait, they didn't do anything.
Oh, this isn't beach cottage.
no, this is pre-pre-blonde Kyle.
This is Kyle before.
Not Malibu, Kyle.
This is right.
This is not Malibu Kyle.
So, and then Ryan Grimm then tried to pretend.
This is him running interference for the squad.
It's a tactic, meaning forcing the vote.
It's a tactic.
Sometimes it's smart.
Sometimes it's not.
It depends on the circumstances.
If it's third down and you need one yard, running might be the smart call.
If it's third and 30, running isn't the smart call.
It's sadly not third and one for Medicare for all.
So that's his way to insulate.
So he was now defending politicians while trying to smear and slander and discredit activists, healthcare activists.
A real football player, Justin Jackson, says it's not third and 30 either.
It was third and 30 when Bernie started running and hardly anyone supported the policy.
It's actually fourth and one on the goal line, and you're down 14 in the fourth quarter, and they're kicking a field goal.
How about go for it and get us closer to taking the lead?
That's a real professional football player bodying Ryan Grimm, the liar, the liar for politicians.
And now he's welcomed with open arms on breaking points by Crystal, the 40 millionaire, and Kyle Kalinsky, the blonde man.
They're worried if they go, if they, so then Ryan Grimm responds, they're worried if they go for it.
Not only are they certain they won't make it, but they might be tackled in the backfield and turn it over on Downs, leaving the he's replying to the football.
He's replying to the football guy.
So the football guy comes back.
I'm sorry, man.
This is a horrible analogy and the type of thinking that gets coaches fired.
You have to take risks, especially when the situation is advantageous.
You're arguing for the field goal.
The safe play actually increases your chances of losing the game, not vice versa.
And then Brianna Joy Gray came in and said, it's so much more basic than that, even.
It's like catching the ball.
You always catch the ball.
There's no given reason to let it fall on the ground so the other team can gain possession.
This was an unforced fumble.
And then Ryan Grimm says, I'm not arguing for either play.
I'm just saying that sometimes a play is right and sometimes they play under a different circumstance wrong.
And people can disagree about that, but still want to win.
People could disagree about play selection and be on the same team.
That's my point.
And he was arguing for those.
So he was.
So what I said, this is what it looks like when you are paid to do access journalism and run interference for politicians abandoning their own platforms and their own supporters.
I'm actually not saying anything.
I'm just stalling for time here.
I hope there's at least a part in his book where he manspleens football to the squad.
And so here he tried to pull that shit on Shama Shawant and she says this to him.
What the actual fuck are you saying?
What in the actual fuck are you saying?
This is Shama Sawant, a real activist, talking to a piece of it like Ryan Grimm, who's a paid liar.
Even non-sports.
He's paid by two, three billionaires to lie and protect politicians.
That's what his job is.
That's what that whole book he just wrote is: is an excuse for politicians to let you down and do the opposite of what they campaigned on.
That's what that book is for.
And that's why Chris and Crystal loves it.
Crystal loves that book.
Why?
Because she's worth $40 million and she doesn't give a shit about lying to you either.
She lied to you about COVID.
She lied to you about vaccines.
She lied to you about the squad.
She's lying to you about Ukraine war.
And now she's lying to you about this book.
Let's watch it again.
Interesting.
Yeah, who among us?
But that is an interesting sort of question for the squad.
Is how they do they force the vote?
Do they, I mean, how has their thinking evolved on using their numbers to force some of these conversations?
I think it, you know, they have definitely heard the criticism.
And it's something I think that they're sorting through.
I think when it comes to some this guy exhibits the same awkward kind of discomfort with the truth that a dog has when he's wearing a hat for a photo.
That's the kind of, you know, they've definitely heard it.
He does wear his hair like a dog wearing a hat for a photo.
Some issues like I go through force the vote a little bit in there.
No, no, no.
I would love to talk about forcing the vote.
So this is someone saying, I would love to talk.
This is someone who doesn't have an interest in protecting the squad or Democrats.
This is someone who does.
And she's trying to laugh.
Please don't bring this up because it exposes me for being a fraud.
It exposes Ryan for being a fraud, which is why they're laughing because what else are you going to do?
Put on your Wolf Blitzer sad face when someone exposes you for being a fraud.
And so now she's saying to her, please stop talking about forced to vote.
Please, what's this?
It's also about access.
Watch this.
This is close to 100%.
Jimmy, this blonde is really effing with Ryan and Grizzle.
And I don't mean Kyle Kalinsky.
Yeah.
Okay.
Here we go.
Watch.
I would love to talk about forcing the vote.
What are your guys' thoughts on this?
Please don't.
Please don't.
Because it exposes us as being frauds.
Remember, we said we were going to be the antidote to the mainstream media.
Well, now we're just a different version of that.
Please don't do that.
Please don't do that.
This is great stuff.
Watch this.
And do force the vote every day for the entire show for the rest of the rest of our lives.
On that, they're like, no, that wasn't it.
But they do get the idea.
They are into the idea that they want to build their leverage.
And toward the end of it, they're into the idea of it.
Now that we're approaching it.
They're into the idea of it.
They're not actually into doing it.
They're building their leverage.
Hey.
So at some point, is Ryan going to apologize for being wrong?
Because now the people he was defending for not doing the idea are for the idea of it.
Is he going to now write an article or a tweet saying, yeah, it turns out Jimmy Doerr was 100% right and everybody who was for Force of the Vote was right and that we were 100% wrong.
In fact, we weren't wrong.
That's the difference.
It wasn't an honest disagreement.
He was lying to retain his access to politicians.
And that's what access journalism is.
And then Breaking Points and Kyle and Crystal brings him on as their regular Because that's what they're about now.
They're about being part of the professional managerial class.
And they don't give a fuck about workers.
They don't give a fuck about your health care.
They got theirs.
She got her $40 million.
And she wants to hang out with people who have access.
And she wants to be close to political celebrity.
And that's what you get when you watch Breaking Points, which is why you didn't know.
If you watch their show, you didn't know anything about COVID.
You got the wrong information on vaccines and lockdowns and masks.
You got the wrong idea about Ukraine.
You were for pro-you were pro-Ukraine.
And now you're left propping up a book that is lying to you about what the squad did and does.
And you're there, you're there filleting a guy or pretending that he's telling you the truth.
This is what you look like.
This is what a professional managerial class access journalist looks like when he's lying.
That's what he looks like.
And they love it.
Like John Tesh without the charisma.
That's exactly 10 to 12.
Like that's that's a place where there's power that can be leveraged and uh in a in a way that won't be annihilated.
And there was a there was there was a you mean annihilated like Matt Gates and does everybody who used their force to vote to get all those concessions from McCarthy and then use their consent, then use their power to get rid of them.
Wait, Jimmy, how about they can't force the vote because McCarthy might become speaker.
Remember that?
Remember that?
Oh, can you imagine if they had forced the vote and McCarthy became speaker and then got forced out, which is what happened to him?
This is like a circus that's ignoring the elephant in the room.
And the elephant is the room is that Ryan Grimm and the squad have already been exposed as enemies of workers and people who want health care.
They've already been exposed and now they're trying to pretend.
Oh, you know what?
They're actually coming around to that idea now.
They're actually coming around to actually using the leverage they actually have to get things for the people that they said they represented.
They're actually coming around to that idea of actually doing what they campaigned on, what they was in the DSA handbook in 2019, the things that Jimmy Doerr pointed out in real time in 2021, and everybody shit on him for it.
They're actually coming around to that now, are they?
Because AOC said I was committing violence against her with my words.
I was committing violence.
And the young Turks and Anna Kasparian and Jenk Uger and they all lied on behalf of the politicians.
So that's why nobody watches the Young Turks anymore and they have no basis.
They have no base whatsoever.
They have nobody.
Why would you, right?
So yes, that's remember that the Young Turks did a poll of their paying members.
86% of their own paying members wanted the squad to force the vote on Medicare for all.
Jenk Uger, Anna Kasparian, David Sirota, and this guy all lied about it.
They all lied about it.
Some of them even went so far as to say that McCarthy could become speaker, which is what David Sirota said on my show, that McCarthy could become speaker, which was always a lie.
Thank God we prevented it by them doing nothing.
And Jenk Uger kept saying it a month after people explained it to him that it couldn't happen, that McCarthy could never become speaker if the Democrats held power in the House.
That would never happen.
It could never happen.
And it didn't happen.
Nancy Pelosi became speaker.
So this is.
Did you watch the beginning of their whole video?
I watched their whole video.
No, I didn't watch the whole video.
So a big part of the book is: you know, the squad was just a label put on them.
So here's how they got the name of the squad.
AOC put an Instagram up of her and I guess the squad members and what hashtag squad under it, you know, like a Taylor Swifty.
And then the whole dumbass E Hollywood media went, oh, the squad.
But he points out in reality, everyone votes alone.
So that's why they're just getting around.
So even though they took it and ran with her stupid Instagram, they never were a squad.
What are you going to have them do?
What's their big mission?
AOC, you hide in a closet.
Jamal, you distract the fire department.
So they call them the squad.
I say call the squad is fine because you achieve nothing because you were afraid it might cost you your seats.
That's it.
Yeah.
But you know who is going to force that vote?
Apec.
They said that in this dude.
Oh, did they say that?
There's a section about weakness that I think contributed to some, as well as like a sense of being new and not really having a sense of how this is all going to end.
Can you be more fucking mealy mouthed?
Do you think it's written like that in the book?
You would think, is it written like that?
Keep all the ums and o's and dots.
Don't you think you'd have something to say about this?
Because it's going to come up in your book interview.
This is what he came up with.
This is what Knuckle.
These guys are dumber than me by far, Ryan Grimm, Crystal Ball, dumber than me, on purpose, by the way.
Same time, though, will there still be 10 or 12 at the end of this next election cycle?
Or will there be two?
Right.
Like, you know, it is quite possible that a lot of them could get wiped out by.
Right.
They're going to get wiped out by APEC.
Yeah, he says.
Because they actually did say something against a genocide happening in Gaza.
So they didn't fight for you when it came to unions.
They broke a union.
The squad did.
They voted to break a union and they did it.
They didn't fight for you when it came to getting you health care in the middle of a deadly pandemic.
They didn't do anything.
What they did, what they did say something.
They did send a letter, hey, maybe we shouldn't do a genocide, which is going to get APEC to try to wipe them all out in the next election cycle.
APAC and DMFI money before.
Which just announced they're going to spend $100 million against them.
Sort of.
The sourcing on that was a little dumb.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's like I think it was sourced to people who are watching or something.
However, this is a threat.
Yeah, the $100 million is plausible because if they're spending not going to have to spend that much to get rid of them.
And you know when they do that, when APEC spends $100 million to get rid of the squad, you know what?
Nobody's going to say, please stop.
The squad helped us like they promised.
We can't afford to lose them.
No one's going to say that.
Hang on.
Money races.
That gets you there right away.
And it's not implausible.
But APAC hasn't quite come out and said they're going to do that.
They haven't confirmed it.
Gotcha.
It's gotcha, guys.
Guys, I got that.
I got status.
I got your ass.
Like last time they spent like 40 collectively between the pros.
Oh, this matters.
It wouldn't be the same to see.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
Gotcha, guys.
That's fantastic.
I'm almost through it.
The book is fantastic.
Did you hear the book is fed?
Did you hear that?
Crystal loves Ryan's book.
Book is fantastic.
I'm almost through it.
I read it to Kyle at bedtime.
He conks right out.
Personally, I'd rather read Jenk's book, which is called, What's it called?
It's called The Justice is Coming, which sounds like his horse.
Is that about a horse named Justice?
Yeah.
Because I think Jenk likes to jerk off horses.
I'm pretty sure that's what it is.
Well, I mean, he didn't come out and say that.
It's like APAC didn't say they're going to spend $100 million, but you know, he's going to do something with a horse once he gets in.
That's why he has my boat.
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So, you know how we told you as soon as the Ukraine war started, how it was going to end and how it was going to end was exactly any way Russia wanted it to end.
And that's exactly how it's ending.
Russia secured the parts, the 20% of Ukraine it wanted, and it's got its lane into the sea.
It hangs on to Crimea, the Don Bass.
And we told you always that's how it was going to end.
So now, now, almost two years later, people like Morning Joe Ball and their experts are coming around to what a pothead Jagoff comedian said two years ago.
So that's why you watch the show, I know, because you like to find out what's actually happening and you like to find out what's actually happening.
So he listened to what they have to.
So this is called backtracking.
So now they all realize that Jimmy Dore was right.
Not that he knows that I was right, but the people like us were right.
People like Aaron Mate, Max Blumenthal.
People who love Hamas.
People who, yeah.
And we were, we were people like Jackson Hinkle, and we were right.
And so let's watch.
Their NATO's done an extraordinary job.
Wait a minute.
Wait, I got to start that over.
He starts off by saying NATO has done what?
Their NATO's done an extraordinary job.
He said, NATO has done an extraordinary job.
He just said it.
Joe, don't be so hard on NATO.
They're trying their best.
Hey, I know.
Let's take NATO out for ice cream.
Yeah, good game, guys.
They worked hard out there.
Keep on plugging, NATO.
I had no idea.
He said extraordinary, but I think he's not using the term in the way that we normally use that term.
Like more than ordinary, better than ordinary?
Right.
No, I think he's saying that NATO suffers from developmental deficiencies, cognitive developmental deficiencies.
That's what it sounds like to me.
You know, they say special.
Yeah.
He's saying they're extraordinary.
That was extraordinary, champ.
Wow.
What does extraordinary mean?
It means really good.
How about that ice cream?
How about that ice cream now?
They did an extraordinary job, Joe.
NATO did an extraordinary job in Ukraine.
You know, when I was still in high school, I used, and I would get my portcut, I would change some of the F's to B's.
I didn't try to change them to A's.
I didn't get greedy.
Yeah.
Because that's what he's doing right there.
You got to be right there from an F. So he's saying NATO.
So this is how they start off admitting that NATO and the United States and Ukraine have lost this war, something that we always knew.
They never were winning.
They were always losing.
It was always a foregone conclusion.
Wow, they're not going to bring out this stuffed Al Sharpton for this ceremony?
Right?
No, they bring out this guy.
Watch.
NATO's done an extraordinary job.
How much longer do we continue pushing?
I think what many people in Pentagon would think is the unrealistic goal of Ukraine driving every last Russian out of their country.
It's exactly the right question, Joe.
And what concerns me is when people get disillusioned and increasingly come to the, where you and I are.
So now he's saying that, oh, you know, all those slow pokes out there who aren't on the cutting edge of commentary, that when they, when those people get to where Joe and this guy is, when they realize that the Ukraine war is lost to Russia, oh, really?
You mean two years behind dumb jagoff YouTubers?
Is he talking about Micah?
When Micah catches up to us, Joe.
When they finally see reality like we do, you mean the guys who've been lying about Ukraine for the last two years straight, saying that, oh, Ukraine's making it offensive.
They're taking it back.
Oh, I had a guy say to me, a comedian from Boston say to me at dinner, I'm enjoying watching Putin get his ass kicked all over Ukraine.
He actually said that.
So what is that?
And I'm actually watching.
And I don't know what he's, and I turn to him and I go, is there anything you read in the New York Times or the Boston Globe that you don't believe?
Is there anything you hear on CNN you don't believe?
And you know what their answer to that when you say That?
Nothing.
They don't answer that question.
They don't answer that question.
So here we go.
I think the only thing they would think is that Rachel Meadows' eyelashes aren't real.
Oh, I didn't know that until you said something.
Her eyelashes are so big they change weather patterns.
Are you kidding me?
Gender effects.
Gender effects, climate, climate effects, gender.
As desirable as it is, it's simply not feasible.
They're going to increasingly say, and we're hearing it in the House, we're hearing it in parts of Europe, why should we keep doing this?
We're already stretched.
We're trying to support Israel.
We're worried about Taiwan.
And even if we give everything we need to give or want to give to Ukraine, it still won't lead to success.
Really?
Even if we give Ukraine everything they want, it won't lead to success.
You know, I read that two years ago in No Shit Magazine.
So literally, these guys, these big shots, these old men who tried to act like they have the...
He wrote redefining success in Ukraine.
Is that what he wrote?
Hey, you put too many extra S's on Haas.
So I guess he wrote that in Foreign Affairs magazine.
Redefining success.
Success?
Redefining success, Kurt, you know, as defeat.
That's what they're doing.
Yeah, less cess and more suck.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Thank you.
What I argue, therefore, is the United States needs to have some very direct conversations with Ukraine, with President Zelensky, talk about reducing their emphasis on liberating land, increasingly put all their emphasis on holding on to what they've got in the long run diplomatically through sanctions.
Yes, we can try to see the rest of their territory return.
But for right now, let's have 80%.
So he's still saying through sanctions.
We couldn't do it with missiles, bombs, and bullets, but we're going to get Russia to give back the rest of the Ukraine territory with sanctions.
I think that's the same thing.
The sanctions that have made the Russian dollar worth way more than it was before.
They're doing way better than they were before the Ukraine war.
They now have energy agreements with Saudi Arabia, with China.
They're now starting BRICS, which is power centers of economic power centers to oppose the West.
The loser here is the United States, NATO, and certainly Ukraine, and certainly Germany and Europe, because they're now paying four times what they were paying for energy than they were before the Ukraine war.
Four times.
You think that's good for their economy?
You think that's good for their manufacturing base?
You think that's good for the people of Europe and for Germany?
No, I'll get the news for you.
It's not.
You know who it is good for?
It's good for Russia.
He goes, maybe sit down and have a talk with Zelensky, maybe get him in a good rehab.
The one Hunter went to.
I understand they specialize in it.
80% of this country is safe.
80% of this country rebuilt.
I would actually propose a ceasefire as an interim arrangement to expose the Russians for what they are.
So he's saying he would propose a ceasefire, and that would expose the Russians for what they are.
You mean the winners of the war?
Is that what you want to do?
You want to expose Russia as the winners of the war?
Because that's what they are.
Let's expose them.
Let's expose them.
They're stopping.
Well, you mean expose them for being a far less psychopathic leaders than our leaders and our media, plus Joe and Micah?
Yeah, I already knew that.
And rebuild support for Ukraine in this country.
But we've had two fighting seasons.
The idea that one or two or three more years of this is going to result in success, I simply don't see it.
Russia's on a war footing.
They have access also to arms from North Korea and Iran.
So I just think, you know, anytime in foreign policy, anytime in life, there's a big gap between what you're trying to do and your ability to do it.
You've either got to increase your...
There was a big gap in between what you thought was going to happen two years ago and what actually happened.
That's where the big gap was.
Anytime there's a big gap in what an ass wipe like that guy says and what the reality is, what people like me, Jackson Hinkle, Max Blumenthal, Kurt, and Aaron Mate are saying, that's the big gap you should be talking about.
Now he's trying to pretend like he's the guy in the know.
Oh, these people, they don't get the big gap.
You know, now I understand from all this better what like a prop, what profits actually are, and that is not predicting any future, literally just pointing at a thing that's right there in front of your goddamn, it ain't any kind of special power from God, except your eyes.
I think here the only realistic option as a tactical measure is to lower our goals.
Well, you know, Katty, the situation.
Wait a minute.
Did Joe just say her name was Caddy?
Yeah, I think it was.
Did I hear that right?
I feel like I haven't heard any of this right so far.
Katie, maybe it's that.
Jesus Christ.
Caddy.
Her name is Caddy.
We want to go to the experts on this one.
What's her last, what's her middle name?
Meow?
What's her name?
Katty Meow?
Last name's K. Caddy Kay.
Caddy K. Yeah.
This is one of those Chris Christie things.
I don't know.
That's what people call me when I get Caddy.
Imagine if your last name was Christie and you named your kid Chris.
Christopher Christie?
Christopher Meadows.
My mother calls me Christopher Christie.
She says I'm not eating enough.
Chris, when are you going to eat something?
I got your Pepperidge Farm.
You mean a box?
No, I bought you Pepperidge Farm.
Oh my God.
Christopher, sit down.
You look like you're starving to death.
The situation is often fluid.
It has been fluid in Ukraine.
No, no, no.
Fluid?
Russia won the whole time.
What fluid?
What fluid?
What are you talking about?
You mean your story about it?
Yeah, your story has been fluid.
Your story changes a lot.
Yeah, I noticed that.
The situation has been Fluid.
Wow, try that with the cops in interrogation.
Have your story be fluid sometimes.
But we're in a new stage.
Just like we talked about after October 7th.
Yeah, the new stages.
People in America are sick and tired of throwing hundreds of billions of dollars at a proxy war with Russia that they don't give a shit about.
That's the new stage.
That's the new stage because there's no other different stage on the ground.
The stage on the ground is Russia came in, took the land they wanted, and they're holding it.
That's the new stage.
Well, technically, it's a new stage just for the Morning Joe and Micah crew.
Because they're admitting.
Everybody's been, I was sick of it at the outset of the campaign.
That war was going to go in stages.
The Ukrainian war has gone.
Kurt, the war went in stages.
You know, like falling down the stairs.
Like if you have spiral stairs with stage, you fall down every landing.
In stages, and now Russia is dug in defensively.
They're not having generals run up to the line so snipers can take them out.
They're not exposing themselves to aerial bombardment.
They are dug.
Do you think they would do that?
They had generals running up to the front lines.
When did they do that, Joe?
What is going on?
We had reports that they were going to do that.
This is too fluid.
In a defensive posture, and that has made all the difference in how quickly or how slowly those lines are moving.
Yeah, the Russians had enough time as Ukraine was preparing this offensive to build those defensive lines with trenches and landmines and making it very difficult for the Ukrainians to push through.
I was told recently that the Ukrainians have only taken back 0.25% of the land that Russia took in the east of the country.
0.25%.
Ukraine has taken back 0.25% of the land.
Wait, that's 25%.
Is it over?
No, no, no.
0.25%.
That's a quarter of a percent.
That's like a block and a half of territory they took back.
You know, if you gave me $113 billion to take over a block and a half of an area, I bet I could get it done before the muddy season.
Yeah, I feel like you're maybe three or four blocks.
$113 billion, and they've taken over 0.25%.
I could have taken that over.
I know what you're saying.
Jimmy, that's not fair.
You're a lot younger than the average fighter in the Ukrainian army.
They're not a spry fall chicken like I am.
These are winter chickens.
These are winter chickens.
They wish they felt like you again.
Nothing and clearly not nearly enough to persuade policymakers up on Capitol Hill that it's worth carrying on funding them.
Now, the Europeans are actually now matching the Americans when it comes to military spending on Ukraine, but they wouldn't be able to pick up all of the slack.
I guess the only question with what you're proposing, Richard, is that would that then look like victory for Vladimir Putin?
I mean, effectively, he'll be able to sell that, and he will sell that as victory back at home.
You know, because it actually is a victory.
You know, that thing that's an objective reality, and what we're all sitting here trying to polish a turd, pretending like it isn't a victory for Putin and Russia.
You know, he'll be able to sell that victory as a victory.
Well, let him think he's won.
I think we should focus on pretending we didn't blow up Nord Stream.
We want to cover up that one.
That story's been pretty fluid, too.
That's very fluid.
But even if we step back with a more objective eye and think, well, okay, so they didn't take Kyiv, but they took a big chunk of the country in the east.
And was this an indication that the Russians actually won effectively?
I don't think so.
Look where Russia is.
No.
No.
I don't think they won.
Ukraine won this war.
Look, this is exactly what they wanted.
We got them right now.
And they've got it.
They've got their Crimea access.
They got their Crimea access.
They got their access to the sea.
They got the Donbass.
Oh, also, they didn't want any of it.
You forced them.
Remember, you forced them to go in and do that?
That's right.
To weaken them.
That's right.
With more land?
This is a war Russia didn't even want.
You provoked this.
You forced them to do it.
Yeah, well, you know, in fairness to Russia, our empire makes us pretty weak, so I can see why they wouldn't want one.
Started.
They wanted to basically eliminate Ukraine as a sovereign, independent.
Oh, so they so that they just moved the goalposts and say, look, they wanted to eliminate Ukraine as a sovereign, independent nation.
No, they wanted to make sure Ukraine stayed out of NATO.
They want it neutral, I believe.
They want it nothing that we put out that Ukraine says, what's the deal?
Losing is now redefining success.
Yes.
That's called Amshpraka.
Amtshpraka.
I got that from Richard Gage.
That's official language, as in the language of officials.
So all corporate losers, you know, when they lose and pretend it's not a loss, that's an example of Omshpraka, A-M-T Shpraka.
Amshproka.
Yeah.
Hey, but Adam Kinziger told me Ukraine is kicking ass.
And your friend's really been enjoying it.
Seeing you.
Oh my God.
He saw Putin get beat up, have like 20 heart attacks.
Everyone hates him.
Not only are they stronger than ever, everybody loves him in Russia more.
People that didn't even like him are on his side.
That's right.
And the people who read the New York Times and the Boston Globe and the Washington Post and watch CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC will never admit that they were duped.
They will never admit they go, oh, it changed.
Things changed.
They'll never be really, then why was I able to tell you exactly how this was going to end two years ago?
To your face, I was able to tell you this.
Two years ago, me, what the fuck do I know?
I didn't Go to West Point.
I didn't go study foreign relations at Oxford.
What do I know?
It's that obvious.
That's what I know.
It's that obvious.
And it's that obvious that you're being propagandized and lied to once again about war by the people who profit off of war.
You stupid, on-purpose, gullible, dumb fuck.
Hey, Jimmy, can I throw in a related tweet I made during work hours?
Does anyone know the rules regarding large item trash pickup in the LA Weehoe area?
I'm throwing out a big box Ukraine flags, BLM signs, and COVID masks.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Wow.
you you So here is the answer.
You ever hear when people say, well, what about October 7th?
What about October 7th?
Yeah, how about started October 1st?
What about October 7th?
That's what they say all the time, right?
So here's the perfect response to that.
A reporter asked them, What about October 7th?
What about October 8th?
What about October 9th?
What about October 10th?
What about October 11th?
What about October 12th?
What about October 13th?
What about October 14th?
What about October 15th?
What about October 16th?
What about October 17th?
What about October 18th?
What about October 19th?
What about October 20th?
What about October 21st?
What about October 20th?
I can't let you get the question.
What about October 20th?
What about October 24th?
What about October 25th?
What about October 26th?
What about October 27th?
What about October 28th?
What about October 29th?
What about October 30th?
What about October 30th?
What about October 1st?
What about the...
I really...
Mel, let me finish answering you.
Let me finish answering.
So to me, that's the ultimate response, rebuttal to what about October 7th?
You can't, you know, as Nietzsche said, be careful not to, when fighting monsters, that you don't become a monster yourself.
If you gaze into the abyss, make sure that the abyss will gaze back into you.
Well, how come we couldn't just win in Afghanistan and Iraq by blowing up every single?
I mean, we kind of did.
We kind of did.
But we lost.
Again, Israel's not going to win this.
Why didn't we put a salvation?
This is not a way.
We're going to starve them until they give up the Taliban to us.
For every baby you killed, for every head of a baby you blow off, you're going to create at least one more person who's committed to fighting you for the rest of their life.
So anyway, to me, that's the perfect.
So this idea that if we just bomb enough, we'll have peace.
That's not how it's going to work.
But let me bring in Keaton.
Keaton, what do you say?
No, I mean, that's a great answer.
He could have also, I mean, this would have been a much longer answer, but he could have also gone, what about October 6th?
What about October 5th?
What about October 4th?
Gone all the way back.
You're almost 48th.
Because, well, yeah, that's unprovoked.
But as Norm Finkelstein says, as many people have said, you know, Gaza is an open air concentration camp.
And so you give people an option to either rot and die for the crime of having been born into an open air concentration camp or to revolt.
Now, you know, this is the new safe and effective line that you have to say on YouTube, right?
This is the new thing.
I don't celebrate or glorify the death of anyone.
That's not about that.
And in all seriousness, I'm not sure.
I believe that's the truth for YouTube.
I'm saying that because I believe all violence is, you know, obscene.
I think all war is horrible.
But to call this unprovoked is just nonsense.
And so, yeah, what about October 6th?
What about October 5th?
What about 2022, 2021?
You can go all the way back.
I'm pretty boozed about it.
This was a revolt by an imprisoned population.
And so to me, it falls to Israel that they created these circumstances where a revolt like this was inevitable because the only other option people had was to just rot and die.
Now, once again, that's not to say that what happened on October 7th should be glorified or celebrated.
I do not believe that.
And I believe that it does create a downward spiral.
I said on the day of, I said, this is going to be the end of Gaza.
This is an extinction-level event now because Israel is going to respond exactly the way they did.
I saw this coming as soon as the news broke.
But Israel created the circumstances where this was bound to happen at some date.
So that date is the date that the media is going to focus on.
What about October 7th?
What about October 7th?
As this guy said, what about everything that's happened since?
I would add, what about everything that happened before?
You know what I didn't see coming?
Then it would take them seven hours to respond when it did finally happen.
I forgot to bring that up last night at the show, too.
It's kind of odd.
Seven hours in tiny Israel, the most drivable across the whole thing compared to the border's about two blocks long.
And somehow they couldn't, they didn't have anybody there stationed.
They were all on vacation in the West Bank or something like that.
January 9-11, it took the first responders over seven hours.
Well, just like in January 6th, there were cops that got to the Capitol from Pennsylvania or from New Jersey faster than it took the cops from the Capitol to get there.
In D.C., their cops got from New Jersey to January 6th to Capitol faster than the National Guard got there that were inside D.C. The most surveillance.
So what that tells you is that that was a setup.
Just like October 7th was most likely, if it wasn't set up, it was allowed to happen.
Somebody said release the Kraken.
And a lot of people make that same comparison to 9-11.
Why were these planes allowed to fly around for hours?
Right?
It was over an hour.
These planes were hijacked.
No fighter jet scrambled to get them.
Am I wrong about this?
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Keaton, do you know anything about this or do you care?
No, I don't think I haven't heard anything, anything opposite that.
I didn't know that, but I've heard much worse than that before they even got on the plane.
Also, we had the story.
The stuff that's open that's not top secret now is already real, real bad and incriminating for intelligence community.
Well, everybody knows they blew up Building 7 now.
There's no denying that.
But they denied it for a long time, even though the guy who owned the building was on videotape saying we made the decision to pull the building, which is code for we were going to blow it up.
And he said that.
Go ahead.
All these Bush cabinet guys, I know it was, I think it was Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, I forget who else.
They were on that.
They were signatories to that document, Project for a New American Century that came out in the 90s, where they said they wanted to attack Iraq, but that it would be impossible to garner support to do so absent a cataclysmic or catastrophic event, i.e., a new Pearl Harbor.
I am paraphrasing very, very closely to the exact text.
Nine months after they took power, I'll say that for YouTube, that very event happened.
And in between that time, there was a memo saying Bin Laden determined to attack inside the United States using airplanes.
So do I believe that those memos were ignored by accident and for no reason?
No.
No, I don't.
Also, I got a lot of empathy for October 7th because I was there for 9-11.
So I know exactly how the feeling, how crazy that feels for something like that to happen.
It's just that now I got 20 years of hindsight.
Well, like, you know, if another 9-11 happens, which it did, I'm not going to.
I wouldn't act like the same idiot as the first 9-11 for a place I don't live.
You know, like it's just like the same exact mistakes we're all going to do, but like worse.
Well, that's exactly what you heard from certain circles.
And was it our government who said, no, who said it?
Some very high-profile person says, Israel shouldn't make the same mistakes after October 7th that the United States made after 9-11.
I'm not sure.
I don't think that Obama said that.
But some very high-profile person said, you know, we reacted in rage to 9-11 in a way that made problems worse.
We caution Israel against doing the same thing.
I hope their agent dropped them, whoever they are.
Again, I'm still waiting to see if Anna Kasparian is going to quit her agency, UTA, because they're now canceling people and firing.
Right, they canceled Sarandon.
They canceled Sarandon over her views.
Now, Anna Kasparian and Jenk Uger have the exact same views as Susan Sarandon.
You would think out of just consistency and solidarity.
Solidarity, you would think that they would walk away from their agency.
That's not happening.
That hasn't happened.
That's not happening.
I don't think she's even acknowledged that.
Well, I saw, I actually did go back and I watched her.
They covered Susan Sarandon being dropped from UTA.
It was her and Johnny Idarola, who was also a shill for the war machine.
They didn't mention one time that Anna was with UTA, that she's represented by them and that she'll be leaving that agency over on principal.
Didn't come up.
I watched the whole segment.
They didn't mention it.
Yeah, usually you would give a full disclosure, by the way.
I'm repped by it.
Yeah, by the way, I'm repped by the same horrible agency that's doing this to Susan Sarandon, but they got to practice all the moral outrage without actually having to do anything that backs it up.
It's that kind of inconsistency you'll only get from the young Turks.
Anna Kasparian and Johnny Iderola.
Shill.
Every time I read UTA, I want to say UTI.
Am I alone in that?
No, you always think that's the thing.
Do you trip over that?
I always want to bring some cranberry juice down there.
What's UTI?
I don't even know what that is.
I always do it.
I'm tempted to say UTI.
Oh, no, I'm never.
Isn't that funny?
I'm never no.
She's dropped by UTA.
Tell me, get some cranberry juice.
Yeah.
But I'll tell you, but if they want to rep me, they can contact me at info at jimmydordon.commy.com.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hi, Jimmy.
Is this former New York governor, Andrew Cuomo?
Oh, God.
Oh, hello, Governor.
Thank you so much for calling.
How are you doing?
I'm doing very well.
Thank you for asking.
Jesus Christ.
I feel rejuvenated physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Well, that sounds like a nice feeling.
How'd that come about?
I just got back from a vacation with my three lovely daughters.
But not just any vacation, Jimmy.
We went to Italy.
Oh, Italia.
Old country.
Jimmy, as you may be aware, I am a proud Italian American.
Yeah, that's your excuse for groping women, right?
Exactly right.
And it was nice to be in a country full of people who fucking get it.
The homeland of Scugot.
Bulls are respected and desired in Italia, not observed with nervous caution.
I was walking up and down the narrow romantic streets of Campania, forcing open-mouth kisses on young women and grabbing every ass I could see.
Oh, good lord.
And Jimmy, if you've ever seen Italian women before, you understand.
I would imagine your three daughters were horrified by this behavior.
Are you kidding?
It was all I could do to not fondle them.
Have you seen them?
Governor Cuomo, that's obscene.
They're old enough now.
They're grown women.
All right.
Change the subject.
Where in Italy did you go?
Well, like I said, we were in Campania, where the Cuomos are from, but we also went to the homeland of my mother's people, Sicily.
Ah, nice.
I bet you ate well there.
Oh, did I ever?
I must have put on five pounds at least.
But it was from eating Italian food in Italy.
So all that weight goes straight to the generals.
Jesus, Jesus.
Good God.
Sicily was a highlight, Jimmy.
One afternoon, I let the girls go on a shopping expedition in Palermo while I went to the countryside to take care of some old family business.
What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you mean exactly?
Let's just say that Don Cicione sleeps with the fish.
All right.
Are you saying you murdered a local Sicilian crime boss?
No, I'm saying this guy has bedsheets you would normally see in a small child's room.
Anyway, the point is, I had a very relaxing getaway.
Was able to take a much-needed break from my podcast and let the rumor mill do its thing in my absence.
What does that mean exactly?
Well, one thing that happened was one of my accusers, yet another one, filed a civil suit against me.
No surprise there.
I'm sure it will get dismissed.
Uh-huh.
Or for the course.
Also, it's very typical for enemies to make moves against Italian-American families when the Capo is away in Sicily.
I see.
I wouldn't call that a rumor so much as something that actually happened.
Well, what she's claiming is a rumor.
See?
I undercut them at every opportunity.
But more important than this was speculation in Politico and the Hill of a possible political comeback for mayor of New York City.
No, Poughkeepsie.
Of course, New York.
Where else, baby?
The Big Apple, my hometown.
Well, are you?
I don't know.
It's just a rumor, Jimmy.
Okay.
All I can tell you is what I read in those little bloggy blog news sites.
Eric Adams seems confident I wouldn't primary him because our bases are similar.
But other sources aren't so sure.
What sources?
I don't know.
The articles wouldn't say.
Why are you being so coy?
Jimmy, one thing I have always used is the element of surprise.
Whether I'm sneaking up on a 24-year-old woman or sneaking up on the electoral base, I'd hate to give that up.
But doesn't Mayor Cuomo have a nice ring to it?
Let's be honest.
Don't I seem more like a New York mayor than Eric Adams?
Are you suggesting something racist here?
Absolutely not.
I'm suggesting he's a nerd named Eric.
You don't see him and think, oh, there's a New York guy.
You think I better, you think I you think I better get a head start on my taxes when you see him.
But, Jimmy, I've got New York style and spirit deep in my DNA.
Okay, all right, I see.
Just like you're a Chicago guy.
You should run for mayor of Chicago.
I don't live there, and I'm not nearly corrupt enough to be the mayor of Chicago, FYI.
Well, both of those could be remedied.
Yeah.
Just something to think about.
Yeah.
You and me, mayor buddies.
We could hang out and everything.
I don't think so, Mayor.
Suit yourself.
Jimmy, I was on the Malfi coast staring into the Mediterranean Sea, watching fishing boats literally catching my dinner.
I thought to myself for the first time, life is good.
Too good, some would say, for me not to be the mayor of New York City.
I need this.
And more importantly, New York needs it.
Again, I totally disagree.
Well, you're not a voter.
Expect some more very pro-Israel rhetoric from me coming up to an almost unhinged degree.
And don't be too shocked if I make a special announcement on Columbus Day.
That's right.
I said fucking Columbus Day.
The only indigenous people I'll be celebrating will be me, who is indigenous to New York City.
Well, I'm glad you had a nice gropey vacation where you had a self-serving political epiphany, but we've got to move on now and do the rest of our show, okay?
All right, I'll let you go.
But remember, don't believe these rumors, but don't ignore them either.
Until next time, arrivederci mi amici.
Cousine, cosa?
What a wonderful world.
La la la la.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Cousine, cosa?
Hey, become a premium member.
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Sign up.
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Freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
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