All Episodes
Previous Next
June 15, 2023 - Jimmy Dore Show
58:08
20230615_TJDS_20230616_Podcast_-_61523_10.44_AM
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hey, come see us live on tour.
Be in Bakersfield, Baltimore, San Francisco, Huntington Beach, Rosemont, and Chicago, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, New York City, Potsdown, Pennsylvania, Stamford, Connecticut, and more.
Go to JimmyDoor.com for a link for tickets.
*Bell rings* Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, Mr. Baldwin.
Hello there.
We haven't heard from you in a while.
Well, Jimmy, in case you haven't heard, I was busy completing the filming of my movie Rust.
18 months' delay.
But I'm happy to say it's in the can, as we say in show business.
Yeah.
Yes, you had it.
You had to take an 18-month break in the middle, correct?
Yes, that is correct, Jimmy.
We had to hold production after the tragic death of a wonderful young lady whose name escapes me at the moment.
Jesus.
I should probably commit her name to memory.
I see.
But the legal kerfuffle that followed has now been cleared up, and the movie is in post-production.
Onward and upward.
That's very nice.
Yes, it is good because I am now preoccupied with a new issue.
Oh, yeah, what's that?
Jimmy, I have a new enemy.
I've had many enemies in the past.
My ex-wife, King Basinger.
my own daughter for a while.
And of course, Gary Busey.
Gary Busey?
Those enemy ships have faded over the years, but this new enemy, dare I say, is a nemesis.
Oh, my.
Who are we talking about?
Schumer.
New York Senator Chuck Schumer, Chucky the Shoe?
No, Amy.
Amy.
Amy Schumer is your enemy?
Why?
Well, Jimmy, this so-called comedian.
No, she is a comedian.
Yes, but you say so-cold in front of comedian, and it really gets them.
Okay, I got you.
I see.
This so-called comedian, Amy Schumer, whom I've never heard of.
You never heard of Amy Schumer.
That's another thing you say to really get them.
It kills them.
They can't handle it.
Yeah.
Anyway, this alleged chuckle tosser recently released a quote unquote comedy special, the final part of which was preoccupied with making fun of my wife and my family.
Jimmy, this means war.
We Baldwin stick together.
And if you think you're going to make fun of any of us, besides that one really dumb brother I have and get away with it, you are sorely mistaken.
Alec, I haven't seen her special, but I'm sure it was just jokes.
It's not like she ordered a hit on your family or something.
She may as well have, Jimmy.
She made fun of my wife, my dear Ilaria.
Oh, okay.
What did she say?
Deal smil.
No, I mean, I mean, what did Amy Schumer say in her special?
Oh, right.
Jimmy, she was being racist.
She was making fun of my wife, Ilaria's Hispanic background by doing a racist, hateful parody of the beautiful Spanish accent.
Well, your wife's not Hispanic, Alec.
It's not racist to make fun of someone pretending to do an accent that they don't have.
Yes, it is.
How?
I don't understand.
Jimmy, you have to be a wealthy white woman to fully understand.
Though I admit that I don't fully understand myself, you certainly wouldn't either.
The point is making fun of someone's chosen identity in this crass, cruel way during Pride Month.
How dare she?
Don't even try to pull that one, all right?
Too late already pulled.
It's on site for this worm, this so-called comedian to go after a real comedian's wife.
Bold move.
I'd like to see her go toe-to-toe with me in comedy.
You're a real comedian, Jimmy.
Need I remind you that I played Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live for years.
I'm Donald Trump.
I'm Arch.
I'm the president.
Sound familiar.
Am I a comedian?
Jimmy, I wielded the most meaningful political satire of the 21st century so far like the sword of Damocles.
Oh, brother.
Which one, Billy?
Anyway, I will take her down a peg in our own arena of comedy.
Perhaps during one of these roast battles I've heard about.
Although Ilaria does most of the kitchen work around here, a traditional role prescribed by her Latin heritage.
Okay.
Or test her acting chops.
A brief perusal of imdb.com that I may or may not have obsessively undertaken revealed that she has been in some movies and television programs.
Correct.
As it so happens, I am currently working on the script for Rust 2.
There is a role that she perhaps might be particularly suited for.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Prostitute number two.
One scene.
Brothel shootout.
No lines.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Alec, this sounds like attempted murder.
She attempted murdered my family, Jimmy.
This will not stand.
Anyway, I will be contacting her agent.
Let's see how much of a coward she really is when she isn't doing a solo comedy taping in front of a thousand people.
Anyway, I should go.
Still writing the shootout scene.
I may have to block it slightly differently now.
Now that I know what I'm doing.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
So good luck with bullshit.
We can't afford to miss and see as a jet y'all.
Comedium speeds and jumps the medium and hits him head-on.
It's the chimney tour show.
So let's move on now.
We'll talk about Cornell West's.
So he originally announced that he was going to run with the People's Party.
And now he's changed his mind.
And he's running with the Green Party.
And West said he decided to run as a candidate for the Green Party to try to build a broad united front and a coalition strategy.
He said in his campaign launch video that his candidacy would be centered around health care, living wages, housing, reproductive rights, and de-escalating the destruction of the planet and democracy.
He said he is running as a third-party candidate because neither party wants to tell the truth about Wall Street, Ukraine, the Pentagon, and big tech.
That was a big one that he said Ukraine in there.
That was a really big one.
West faces long odds with his third-party run, but polls showing that many do not want President Biden or former President Trump to be their party's nominees could open up a greater support for the alternative candidate.
So now they're already coming at him.
Oh, the very liberal left-wing nation magazine.
And then, of course, MSNBC says Cornell West's leftist presidential bid has right-wing disorder.
They're already calling him.
So I've laid this out since 2016.
It's been obvious to me.
And I've been telling our audience that as soon as you get to the left of the Democratic Party or left of a Democrat, they don't engage you in your debate with ideas.
They first slander you and smear you, and that's what, and then they call you a right-winger.
And that's exactly what they did.
Right-wing DNA.
Right-wing DNA.
So it's like when Joe Rogan endorsed Bernie Sanders, they call him a right-winger.
And so they're doing the same thing to Cornell West.
And let me just show you this.
This is interesting.
Only 29% of Americans identify as Democrats.
Still fewer, 27%, identify as Republicans.
42% identify as independent.
It's the largest block of voters.
And so saying Cornell West was running as an independent third-party candidate cannot win, that's acknowledging that the system is rigged.
We agree.
And that's going to change.
So that's what he says.
So that is kind of a great.
So let me just get back.
When he first announced he was going to run People's Party, now he's running green.
People said you had something to do with that.
Did you?
And what did you say that changed his mind?
Yeah, I did.
I encouraged him to leave the People's Party.
And I set up a meeting with Jill Stein and a Jean-McBaraka Zoom.
We were all in a Zoom call and let them run the pitch, but I supported it.
And what was the idea behind it?
Well, partly, having worked with Ralph Nader, and I wasn't involved in it, but I was a speechwriter for Nader.
I saw all of the impediments that were put up in terms of ballot access.
It's expensive.
Every single state is different.
And the People's Party virtually doesn't have any ballot access.
It just wasn't going to, it wasn't going to fly.
The Green Party doesn't have a lot.
And I'm acutely aware that the Green Party is not a well-oiled machine, to put it mildly.
But at least it has experience, which Cornell doesn't have, of running campaigns.
It does have some organization.
It needs to be revitalized, especially by younger workers and volunteers.
But it is, I think it's 20 states that are already on.
And it just, it has an infrastructure.
You weren't going to be able to build a viable infrastructure.
And I know how hard it is to build it, having watched Ralph do it.
And I think it's important that Cornell be on as many ballots in as many states as possible.
I agree 100%.
I think the real test will come after RFK Jr. drops out.
Yeah, of course.
That's right.
That's right.
And yeah, I mean, the thing about RFK Jr., and I agree with many of his positions, although not on Roger Waters.
I thought that was really sleazy.
Not on Israel-Palestine, which looks like he was just reading from a Democratic Party playbook.
And I care a lot about that issue because I was the Middle East Bureau chief for the New York Times.
I spent seven years there and a lot of time in Gaza.
And that issue alone will drive me away.
Nobody stands up for the Palestinians.
So, you know, if I'm all alone, I'll be all alone.
And people forget that about Nader, by the way.
You know, Nader's parents were Lebanese, fluent in Arabic, Ralph.
He's Christian, but his Arabic is, I speak Arabic.
It's pretty deteriorated.
But I was in a restaurant with Ralph.
I go, he's completely bilingual.
So, yeah, but the thing about Cornell is that he has stood for these issues for decades.
And I would give Bernie credit in terms of standing with labor.
I mean, I didn't, you know, I was as critical of Bernie as you were, but I don't think Bernie was a fake.
What I worry about Bobby Kennedy Jr. is that a lot of these positions, I mean, he's been good on the environment, but I don't see that there's a long track record there of fighting these kinds of fights.
With Cornell, he ain't going to, you know, he didn't just come to some political opinion because it was convenient or he thought it would sell.
I mean, he's openly supporting reparations.
I mean, I think white Americans, that's about 19% or something of white Americans support.
He ain't going to back down on that kind of stuff.
But I think, you know, even if you might disagree with Cornell on many issues, and I actually don't have many, there's not much daylight between me and Cornell, he just has impeccable integrity.
And he has fought.
I mean, he fought Obama.
And people forget that during the Obama years, he was target number one.
If you listen to black media, they called him a race traitor and they locked him out.
And he was, they were rough.
Obama had a thing for Cornell.
And he stood his ground.
And he will stand his ground now.
I mean, we're very close friends and have been for many, many years.
I know him inside and out and love him to death.
And I can tell you he's real.
I mean, I teach in a prison, as you know, and I brought Cornell in and all my students said, oh, Dr. West, Dr. West, well, you know, the guy's got a full course load at Princeton.
He's flying all over the countries.
He came into that prison.
There weren't any cameras.
There wasn't no publicity.
Nobody paid him.
And he taught a philosophy course in there.
I mean, he's the real thing.
Yeah, I really can't wait for the damn primary to be over now.
So we could just get right to the general and he gets to actually oppose Joe Biden and Joe Biden's unique brand of woke fascism, which, you know, which is what we're dealing with.
We're not dealing with a two-party system.
We're dealing with a one-party system.
I think Cornell can really expose that.
I think that's my, oh, Such a heartbreaker that RFK Jr. is running inside the Democratic Party because they'll never let him grab power.
No.
And everybody knows it.
So anyway.
Well, good luck to Cornell.
It's just starting.
And, you know, the Green Party really got wrecked by Howie Hawkins.
That guy is just.
Yeah, I know.
I don't know where Howie went.
He's a real wrecking ball.
That guy, if that guy's not on the payroll for the CIA, then he's the biggest jump I ever met in my life because he should be being paid by the CIA to say all the stupid shit he said over the last four years.
He's doing it for free.
He's doing it for free.
If he's doing it for free, it's like it's even Jenk Uger takes money from the anyway to say that shit.
But anyway, yeah, so hopefully they can kind of ship, get that Green Party up in the working running order.
But they, you know, they get all the ballot access.
They were on 44 ballots with Jill Stein.
And so that's the important thing.
So that's it.
That's right.
And it doesn't matter their past.
It matters now.
And Cornell, I think, could certainly unite the people in the Green Party.
What I hope is that he has a message for the right-wing populists, right?
He does.
And, you know, he said that he's going to go down to rural and southern white enclaves and take that message to Trump supporters because that is, I mean, you know, the whole pitch, of course, of the Democratic Party is we've got to stop fascism.
Well, the prime engine of fascism is the neoliberalism of the Democratic Party.
Much of my family comes from Maine, rural Maine.
I physically see the destruction wrought by deindustrialization.
All the mills are closed.
They know who sold them out.
I'm not defending their politics, but they know who sold them out.
And it was Joe Biden and the Clinton, particularly the Clintons.
They're not, you know, they may not have, my grandfather never finished high school, but they're not stupid.
I mean, they may not have a fancy education, but they're pretty aware of, and so, you know, the whole idea that, I mean, we wouldn't be in this mess if the Democratic Party hadn't betrayed the working class, hadn't sold us out.
And they know it.
They know it.
They know it.
I know they know it because my family is part of it.
Well, it goes back to what Chuck Schumer said when they were talking about, hey, you're losing blue-collar voters to Donald Trump.
And he said it doesn't matter for every blue-collar voter we lose in the inner city, we're going to gain two and three white-collar suburban voters, which means the Democratic Party is now a logger representing workers.
They're now representing the college edge.
They're the Republican Party.
It locks Dock and Burrell inside and out.
And that is exactly what makes Donald Trump attractive to people to vote for.
And we all know that.
You know, I interviewed a guy who was a Waffle House cook from Virginia.
His name was Nick Smith.
And he was going to vote for Donald Trump.
And I asked him why.
And he said, hey, look, we know Donald Trump's a loudmouthed Yankee who should have had his ass kicked a long time ago.
But he promises us something when Hillary Clinton is promising nothing.
In fact, she's promising to close down our coal mines and do nothing for us.
So they're desperate.
These people are desperate, right?
These people are workers, blue-collar workers, and they couldn't care less about those people.
And so that is exactly the message that I hope Cornell West brings.
And if he could do like what they did on Staten Island, why am I blanking on what's the Amazon Christian Smalls?
What Christian Smalls did, that's the message.
You got to bring there's my enemy is not a worker.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's right.
And I don't care if he's a Republican or a Libertarian or a Boo Galoo boy.
A worker is not my enemy.
We share a common enemy, and that common enemy is an oligarchy, which your democracy, that's the whole joke about January 6th.
Your democracy was stolen from you decades and decades ago, which is why workers haven't had a raise since 1980.
That's right.
And the other thing is that this kind of dismissiveness towards, you know, this kind of political correctness and it is totally self-defeating.
So Cornell gets all that.
He gets it.
And I've done many events with him in front of an audience.
You know the guy's not bullshitting you.
I mean, you know that he's speaking from his heart.
And you're right, that it is about building, you know, it's the language of class, which has been excised, but that's not been excised from Cornell's writings, his scholarship, and his public events.
For him, this is a class war, and he knows which side he's on.
And he doesn't bifurcate the working class into antagonistic segments, which is, of course, the playbook that the ruling elites are using.
And we should be clear, Jimmy, that, you know, we talk about the Democratic Party, but the establishment wing of the Republican Party, the Mitt Romney's Chains, are now honorary members.
I mean, Crystal.
I mean, these really repugnant figures.
It's really one ruling establishment party, and they're all terrified of Trump, who they created, as we should all be terrified of Trump.
But they're the engine behind all of that.
And they're dying.
They're dying.
I mean, there's no question that they're dying.
And so unless we confront them with something real, and I'm not saying Cornell is going to win.
I'm not that naive.
But unless we confront them with something real, like Cornell, then it's over.
And this is our last hope.
And, you know, even if we go down, we should go down standing up for something rather than nothing.
I mean, by embracing Biden and the Democrats, you're embracing a horrific track record.
I mean, the Democrats are the party of war, wholesale surveillance, austerity, a NAFTA, the deregulation of the FCC, the destruction of welfare.
Obama's assault on civil liberties were worse than those carried out by Bush.
I mean, you know, I mean, the public relations machine will make you feel kind of, they try to make you feel kind of warm and fuzzy to Uncle Joe or, you know, think of Barack Obama's, but it's all a lie.
I mean, when you look at what they've done, I mean, these people are craven tools of the war industry and of Wall Street, whether it's Obama or Biden or Clinton or anyone else in the Democratic Party.
So the idea.
I always thought, and I've been saying this since 2016 for a third-party person, is that you don't think you're going to win the election outright.
But if you can start polling at 5% or 10%, especially if you, which I think that's so doable, especially in this era, especially when 42% of the country considers themselves independent.
And then the next bigger voting block is people who don't vote.
So I think that's a real.
So the idea that I always was proposing was that the third party candidate would poll and then they could use that to be a kingmaker.
It doesn't matter if it's a Republican or a Democrat, which ends the wars and invests that money back here.
It doesn't matter if it's a Republican or a Democrat who gives us Medicare for all.
It doesn't matter if it's Republican or Democrat.
It gives us a minimum wage.
Or stop censoring.
So that's what I think Cornell has a chance to do.
Do you think he has that chance?
Yes, that's exactly right.
I mean, you know, I worked with Nader and Ralph said, you know, we got to pull 5, 10, 15 million people.
So we put pressure.
It's about putting pressure.
And historically, that's always been the case.
The Progressive Party put pressure to break up monopolies.
Teddy Roosevelt did it.
The same with the FDR.
It was the, we write out the Communist Party, sit-down strikes, militant labor actions.
Roosevelt and his correspondents said he feared revolution.
It is a game of fear.
It's why Nader says our last liberal president was Richard Nixon.
That's true.
Because you've got OSHA, the Mine and Safety Act, you know, because we still had movements.
Yeah.
And politics is about fear.
It's about making them afraid.
You know, that Karl Popper has that great line.
You know, the question is not how do we get good people to rule.
Most people attracted to politics are mediocrities and, you know, amoral scumbags.
It's how we stop people in power from doing as much damage as possible.
It's a different way of looking at the equation.
And that's it.
And I think that, you know, time's running out just from, you know, an ecological position alone.
We don't have any time left.
So surrendering, allowing, and what they want to do is inculcate fear into us.
Because in the American political system, you don't vote for what you're for, you vote what you're against, what you're afraid of.
And that's just a death spiral.
So we who care about these issues, social justice, freedom, destroying the oligarchy, you know, we have to begin to stand up.
And that's why Cornell's running.
And I expect there'd be some very strange bedfellows with Cornell West running.
People would not expect if he's if he, which I think he is serious.
So I think you will see that happen.
It's the only way you can get you can oppose the oligarchy is you have to do it along class lines, just like Christian Smalls did.
You have to reach out to people who normal Democratic voters would be repulsed by, but that's because they don't know how to organize and they don't know what organizing along class lines actually means.
So, well, good luck to, well, thanks for having that conversation with him.
And are you going to work for him?
You're going to work for his campaign?
I'm trying not to, but it's not working out too well.
He's in.
Okay, he's in.
All right.
Well, good luck.
Hey, can you tell that story one more time that you've told on this show about Henry Kissinger with the story he did?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the, I think it's 71 or something, one of the biggest anti-war demonstrations.
They've surrounded the White House and to protect themselves, Nixon's put empty city buses in a ring around the White House.
And he's looking out the window and he's saying, Henry, they're going to break through the barricades and get us.
And that's, of course, exactly where we want power to be.
It is our job to put power in that position.
That is our sole job as a citizenry.
And that requires organization and mass movements because individually they can walk all over us.
But once we organize, we have the numbers.
You know, we have the capacity.
The railroad freight workers had it.
Look what Biden did to them.
We have the capacity to cripple the oligarchy.
I lived in France and I loved it.
I mean, the farmers got angry.
They drove all their tractors into the center of Paris and shut the city down.
That's what we've got to do.
And that traditionally, this is why Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States is an important book because he illustrates how every opening in American democracy, every advance in American democracy was made through movements.
The labor movement, the abolitionists, the suffragists, the civil rights movement.
That's what opened up the spaces.
That's what created a more equitable system.
Of course, they're going to paint a history that it was a gift from wealthy white male oligarchs, but that's not the way it works.
And we have to regain that understanding of class warfare, and we have to be willing to hold fast and firm to our own principles, and we will be attacked.
Cornell's already being attacked, but that is the only way out.
If we don't do that, we're finished.
Well, the port workers on the West Coast have been shutting down the ports in the world.
Yeah, good for them.
Wildcat strikes, and the ports made $500 billion in profits since COVID started.
And they offered them a dollar-something raise.
No kidding.
$500.
That's more money than freaking Big Pharma made.
It's unbelievable.
I can't even, all that money.
And so that's neoliberalism.
That's where we are.
So hopefully those workers are waking up.
They're shutting things down.
Starbucks is finally being organized and unionized and Christian Smalls and Amazon.
So, you know, and now we got Cornell West running.
So hopefully we'll have we'll get people in the streets.
That's what we really need.
That's what we need.
Chris Hedges, thank you so much for being here.
All right, Jimmy.
Everybody check out his sub stack and his show on Real News.
Thanks, Jimmy.
Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcomedy.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business, and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
So turns out Russia's bombing themselves again, Kurt.
I don't know if you know.
Remember they bombed themselves with Nord Stream.
Remember that?
Remember when Russia?
He's a madman.
He's a madman.
Also, I didn't know that may have been the largest methane emission ever recorded.
I didn't know that part.
So we did this.
So NATO forces, Ukraine, the CIA, the United States, the West, we did this.
So it's the biggest methane emission ever recorded.
So we're terrorizing.
That would be called echo terrorism.
I guess we got to all eat bugs now because of burgers.
We got to make up the difference in not eating burgers now.
And so now, Kurt, they blew up this dam.
Now, of course, we did it again.
It's called an environmental catastrophe.
Yeah, right.
Collapse of Ukraine's Nova Kakova dam, an ecological catastrophe.
I bet it is.
We did it.
So the United States is doing these things.
What's your evidence, Jimmy?
In this stupid war to try to put an economic hurt on Russia.
That's backfiring fantastically.
So U.S. eyes Russia.
And this is how the United States press covered this.
We eye them.
What does that mean?
The U.S. government has intelligence that is leaning towards Russia as the culprit.
Is there anybody in the world that, besides everybody I know in comedy that believes that this Ukraine war shit, people still believe this stuff, Kurt?
Do you think this is even less reliable than the normal intelligence?
That's normally like a vague thing, but yeah, well, a guy I know, intelligence, is leaning on it.
It's Russia.
Like, wow, that's so you have nothing.
You have no information.
Why would Russia, again, this is, and this is terrorism?
This is like war crime.
This isn't about.
I'm going to show you what it is.
This is on Russian speakers, right?
The Russian-speaking Ukrainians where this dam blew up, is it not?
This is in Russia-controlled territory.
Russia built this dam.
So, and a hydroelectric power plant in the early hours of June 6th.
The dam across the Dnipro River, one of the country's major waterways, was all but gone in video and satellite footage that has emerged over the last 18 hours.
The Kokorva reservoir has been emptying into the river all day, causing catastrophic flooding downstream.
So, they wiped out towns.
They just wiped it out.
Who did the West?
The United States, the CIA, NATO, and Ukraine did this.
Would you see their latest story?
Is that the pipeline?
It actually was Ukraine and America knew about it.
That's where they finally settled.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah, they've been reporting all week.
It just came out.
Oh, no, King, so now they're admitting.
Okay.
America did.
I think America did it, not Ukraine.
I don't think they could have done it.
But now the official story they're saying is Ukraine did it, and the intelligence agencies knew they were going to do it.
Okay.
Water from the reservoir, get this, is used by the Zaporoch Chia nuclear power plant to cool its reactors.
So this is the kind of havoc that Joe Biden is unleashing on the world.
You thought that they always said it was going to be madman Donald Trump to do crazy stuff like this and start World War III and blow up bombs and pipelines and economic terror, ecological terrorism and destruction like we've never seen before.
The eco thing, especially.
That was, I believe, Noam Chomsky was like the eco-disaster coming if you don't if you don't vote for Biden.
Yeah.
And look what they're doing.
Of course, Noam Chomsky was wrong again.
You know, he has an encyclopedic knowledge of stuff, but that doesn't mean he's right or knows what to do about it or is right.
Water from the reservoir is also just according to the International Atomic Energy Agency.
There is at present no immediate nuclear safety risk.
So I heard that that plant has like a backup of reserve water.
That's what I heard.
Upward of 40,000 people are now in danger due to flooding in danger.
They got freaking flooded out.
As many as 70 towns, 70 towns, 70 towns.
Oh, is Russia going to try to kidnap them now?
Along the Dnipro River are at risk.
70 towns.
So that's who did that?
Zelensky, Joe Biden.
That's who did this.
Ukrainian analysts have linked the alleged Russian dam destruction to the much anticipated Ukrainian counteroffensive, which may already be in progress.
In the course of Kharkiv counter-offensive operation, the Russians destroyed the dam over Oskil Reservoir.
This asswipe from Russia says.
So that's a government.
That's from the National Institute.
So yeah, for the strategic studies, a government-funded think tank told referring to the Ukrainian military's recapture of thousands of square miles of terrain in September.
So there is precedent.
So they're trying to say Russia did this.
Although one reason might be to impede the Ukrainian offensive, the Russians also have established an historical pattern of destroying infrastructure in areas they do not control, such as Kiev and areas they must leave behind when retreating, signaling that if they cannot control it, no one else will be allowed to possess it, said this asswipe from the fucking U.S. Army colonel strategist.
In short, the Russians did this for spite.
They did.
They're just such main, they're such assholes.
They keep doing this.
They're hurting themselves.
Why?
Because Putin is such an asswipe maniac.
But why would he do that to hurt himself?
Because it hurts Russia more than it hurts Ukraine.
Are they so they said that territory, Russia lost that territory in that article, or am I not understand that right?
No, no.
Let me get to this point.
So what they're saying here is that Russia is just nuts and doing this out of spite.
Putin's a madman.
That's what kind of crazy maniacs they are.
They'll unleash this ecological disaster, this war crime that hurts them even more than Ukraine, just because they don't care.
Oh, really?
Because I think this is what Tucker Carlson talks about.
Because I don't think Putin, because a normal person, Kurt, wouldn't think that Putin would act like an irrational madman.
Vladimir Putin is exactly that sort of man, the sort of man who'd shoot himself to death in order to annoy you.
We know this from the American media, which wasted no time this morning in accusing the Russians of sabotaging their own infrastructure.
Bill Crystal, the man who once told us that Saddam Hussein was responsible for 9-11, immediately denounced Putin as a war criminal and even more savagely compared him to Donald Trump.
The rest of the pundit class made similar, clearly coordinated noises.
Putin did it!
Putin did it!
And their reasoning was simple: Putin is evil, and evil people do evil things purely for the dark joy of being evil.
In this specific case, Putin attacked himself, which is the most evil thing you can do, and therefore perfectly in character for a man that evil.
That's it.
He attacked himself, Kurt, because that's the epitome of evilness, and he's that evil.
Yeah, I believe it.
Ukraine's Western partners wasted little.
This is what people say.
This is what I go to dinner with these asswipe comedians, and that's what they think because they read the New York Times and the Washington Post and the Boston Globe, and they think they're informed because they're reading the fucking.
I don't understand how you can say, because this is what I've heard repeatedly.
Well, Putin can't be allowed to get away with invading the sovereign nation.
We just built a military base in Syria next door.
These are the same people that have been alive for the last 20 years.
Right.
So wait, why is it bad to invade a sovereign nation?
What does sovereign mean?
I thought we do that all the time.
Isn't that what we do decide to hang like what we did in Libya?
Like what we did in Iraq, like what we did in Afghanistan for 20 years?
To bring up history as both sides of them.
Currently, we're doing it in Syria.
We're occupying a third of that country.
We just built a military base there.
The destruction of the dam today puts thousands of civilians at risk and causes severe environmental damage.
The NATO Secretary of General tweeted after that.
This is an outrageous act, which demonstrates once again the brutality of Russia's war in Ukraine.
We did this.
So this outrageous act, this is what the United States and NATO and Zelensky has been doing all along.
It Turns out, Kurt, we're the assholes.
We're the murderous maniacs.
And this is all about money.
This is all about an economic advantage over Russia.
This isn't about us trying to save the Ukrainian people from aggression from Russia.
This is about us doing this for corporations like we always do, you stupid assholes.
I'm sorry, Kurt, go ahead.
What do you want to say?
Even like the people that would acknowledge these stories, you know, like your breaking points analysis, let's say.
And I'll see them and show stuff.
And then there's always got to be the thing.
And it was absolutely wrong that he invaded it all.
Yeah, I guess it is wrong.
We wouldn't have done for much less.
We wouldn't have driven farther to invade somewhere.
Yes.
For way less than, you know, Nazi shelling people.
They call it a new dimension in Russian atrocities.
So the atrocities are being committed by the United States, Zelensky, and NATO.
Just so you know.
So they go around.
This is how propaganda works.
Black is white, up is down, in and out.
And Russia keeps bombing itself.
They bombed themselves in the Kremlin.
They bombed.
Remember, they blew up their own pipeline that screwed over everybody.
That coffee shop where they killed a bunch of people that had nothing to do with anything to get one guy.
We took credit for it and we said it was cool.
Previous large-scale Russian attacks on Ukrainian infrastructure.
So this is, I'm just showing you how the assholes in the United States press in the corporate NATO press is reporting this.
It's ridiculous.
Tucker Carlson, I'm going to show you in a second.
Tucker Carlson completely destroyed.
And nowhere else will you get that?
You're not going to get his report on.
Well, we'll get to it in a second.
So the last time something like this happened, most recently after Russia began its campaign of aerial bombardment of Ukrainian power stations and energy plants in October 2022, the United States and other Western nations responded by sending their most advanced air defense systems, such as the Patriot platform, to Kiev.
So I'm guessing maybe Zelensky thought this would trigger even more money to flow to Ukraine because they got to do something big.
And this is certainly an ecological atrocity and a disaster.
The Russian response, meanwhile, started with an unequivocal denial that anything untoward had happened in the Khakova dam.
This then segued into accusations that Ukraine destroyed its own critical.
No, it makes more sense that Russia did it.
Vladimir Putin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov claimed without evidence that he just did just now about them with no evidence?
So this is how the United States put, but a norm, like a regular working stiff who reads this or sees this on the news, they're not going to have those questions like, oh, wait, didn't you just read it on the news?
They're going to be like, we put this guy chick with a dick on my beer.
So there was nothing but no evidence with all those claims that Ukraine just made.
But apparently, Vladimir Putin's claims without evidence.
That's when they first bring it up.
Democracy Now shit the bed on this once again.
I don't know what's going on with Amy Goodman, but it seems like she's controlled opposition on purpose.
She's just garbage.
Too often, too often, their show is garbage.
And here's another one of those times.
She brings on this guy, and floodwaters are rising in southern Ukraine after a hydroelectric dam was breached overnight in the city of Nova Kukova.
Ukrainian energy expert, this guy, says it's clear that Russia was behind the attack on the dam despite official denials.
She brings on this guy.
She brings on this guy to lie to you.
Why would she do that?
Why is Amy Goodman doing that's garbage?
I wish someone would ask her.
Nobody gets to ask these people questions.
Nobody gets to ask Rachel Maddow why you're such a garbage person and a warmongering maniac and a liar at the top of your lungs pushing debunked garbage, repeating CIA talking points.
Nobody gets to ask these people.
Nobody gets to ask her why you bring on a garbage guy like this you know is a liar.
This is like a cartoonish lie that you really think, really think Russia is.
Like Hunter Biden.
I would trust him over this guy.
Aaron Mate, who worked for Democracy Now for 10 years, Aaron Mate says, Democracy Now failed to inform their audience that their guest who insists that Russia bombed the dam works for an organization funded by the European Union and German's foreign ministry, which are part of NATO's proxy war coalition.
They didn't tell you that she didn't tell you that.
What a ridiculous news show that's turned into.
Here's Ursula von der Leyen.
She's the head of that European.
What's her credit?
I think she's the head of the...
But not NATO for the war crimes because we just committed this one.
President of the European Commission.
European Commission.
She is the president of the European Commission.
The destruction of the dam, an outrageous attack on civilian infrastructure, puts at risk thousands of people in their Kherson region.
Europe is mobilizing support through our civil protection mechanism.
Okay, they all are now currently saying Ukraine blew up the pipeline.
So now they're admitting that Ukraine blow up.
Why don't they deflect that we did it, by the way?
Right, that's right.
So an outrageous attack and civilian.
You mean like the pipeline that put all the methane up?
Michael Tracy says, if the evidence is so conclusive, she can boldly declare Russia will have to pay for bombing the dam.
Why not kindly provide some of that evidence for the benefit of the rest of us, or at least those of us who prefer to have evidence before drawing bold conclusions about stuff?
Warmonger asswipe Ted Liu says the Ukrainians would not have done this catastrophic damage to themselves.
And yes, it is a war crime, regardless of who did it.
But this, in this case, it was Russia or pro-Russian forces.
Okay.
I love how Wyatt reads.
So he tweaks it out.
So they go, really?
They wouldn't have done this to themselves?
Wyatt Reid points out where Ukraine just did this to themselves.
They flooded.
They flooded their own.
They flooded their own village just to keep the Russians at bay.
They flooded.
They did it.
They have a record of doing this.
When's the story from?
Not long ago.
This was not long ago.
And they also, they also test, they also shot the dam with Himars.
Here's another one.
They also conducted a test strike with Himars launcher on the floodgates of that dam.
They already did this.
They tested how well it works on a dam.
The Ukraines did.
They already did this.
They flooded their own village and kept the Russians at bay.
The waters that poured into Dmedrov were one of many instances of Ukraine wreaking havoc on its own territory to slow Russia's advance.
Residents couldn't be happier.
We saved Kiev, one said.
That's from April 22.
April of last year.
And here's the other one.
Kovalchuk considered flooding the river.
The Ukrainians, he said, even conducted a test strike with a Himmers launcher on one of the floodgates at the Novokova Dam, making three holes in the metal to see if the Denipper's water could be raised enough to stymie Russian crossings, but not flood nearby villages.
The test was a success, Kovichuk said, but the step remained a last resort.
He held up.
They've already tried doing this.
They've got a second to last resort.
They already did this.
Why would they do that to their own?
Why would they go to some Nazis?
I like how they yet again some Nazi patches on the soldiers.
Let's say it's not a big problem, okay?
Don't you think the word maybe should go out, though, that it keeps leaking that?
Hey, guys, maybe take off your Nazi patches just till the we go put them back on the win.
There's a big story about that.
We didn't cover it.
We'll cover it tomorrow, maybe, but the New York Times is finally acknowledging all the Nazis.
I know it's giving Russia fuel for their propaganda.
So here's John Kirby.
And get this.
A reporter actually.
This is crazy that this happened.
I don't know who this reporter is, but watch this.
They actually tell the truth and ask a real question.
This almost never happens.
Watch this.
Does it seem believable to you that Russia would destroy it down and flood ethnic Russian villages and cut off the water supply to Crimea?
That doesn't seem less.
It seems about it.
So she's saying, does it make sense that Russia would do this that would flood their own Russian-speaking, ethnic Russian villages?
It's water in Crimea.
also supplies water to Crimea.
As logical as blowing up one's own pipeline, doesn't it?
So she also says this is as illogical as blowing up one's own pipeline.
So she's really giving it to him with both fists, and let's see how he handles it.
Come to no conclusions on this.
We're working with the Ukrainians.
We'll try to get as much information as we can.
We've come to no conclusions on this.
No.
Oh, my God.
We're working closely with the Ukrainians.
Nice suit, though.
According to the mainstream media, Russia attacked their own Nord Stream pipelines, blew up the Crimea Bridge, attacked their own nuclear power plant, attacked the Crimea Bridge, blew up their own dam, attacked the Kremlin with drones.
The real threat to humanity from fake news is Twitter and Elon Musk and artificial intelligence.
Yeah, it's not corporate news and the government like it always is.
Who's been lying to you the whole time?
The whole time.
I'm afraid of all the new misinformation coming out.
I like this at the bottom.
Eric says, surprise, surprise, this is the same mainstream media that convinced thousands of mothers to send their children to die in Iraq in order to fight a weapon of mass destruction that Saddam Hussein never had.
And Fiorella Isabel makes the show.
She says, keep thinking it's Russia attacking its own dams, pipelines, hospitals, schools, and Kremlin.
You don't sound insane when the ones who led the East European Union, UK, and all of NATO into this conflict using Ukraine as fodder have never lied about anything and don't have thousands of bases worldwide.
That's bullshit.
Just so you know, who are the terrorists?
Who are the people creating environmental destruction and atrocities and war crimes?
It's the United States.
All of our bases.
This is all our bases.
These are all our, no one else.
It also, there's no other country that has these bases.
There's no other country.
Great carbon footprint we got there.
There's no bigger global warming thing or climate change organization than the U.S. Look at that.
That's in Central and South America.
Look at over here.
Middle East, Africa.
It's crazy.
Look at where we're surrounding China and Russia with about 400 bases.
400.
400 military bases.
So there's over a thousand military bases at the United States.
They say there's 800, but you know, there's at least a couple hundred that are secret.
They just built a new one in Syria.
They just built, they're going to build a new one in Syria right now.
They just built three in the Philippines.
You ain't got money for you.
You got to cut teachers' salaries.
Anybody got to cut your health care?
They just cut everybody's benefits in this last budget deal.
But look at this.
You're all suckers.
Then you're all suckers.
Keep watching CNN.
Beep.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy.
It's Jake Tamper.
Oh, geez.
From the lead with Jay Tamper on CNN.
Oh, hi, Jake.
Still hanging out over there at CNN, huh?
You bet, Jimmy.
I'm the survivor.
Yeah.
I know how to play the game.
And now there's been a development that will secure my favorite network for years to come.
Oh, yeah, what is that?
Jimmy, I'm pleased to announce that Donald Trump now has a stupid nickname for me.
No.
Lil O Me.
Jay Tamper from the League with Jay Tamper on CNN.
Who defunct it?
Wow.
Congratulations, Jake.
It's very exciting.
Hey, can I ask what the nickname is?
Are you going to have a nickname reveal party or something?
No, silly.
He's already said it publicly.
So it's been officially released, or it dropped, to use a hip-hop recording term.
May I proudly present to you Fake Tamper?
Fake Tapper?
Fake Tamper.
I just love it so much, Jimmy.
It's the most perfect little creation.
Classic Trump nickname.
So simple and stupid that it projects the illusion of being an afterthought.
But you know that he spent time on it and ran it by several of his closest advisors.
And once he uses a nickname once, you know he's going to use it over and over.
I would imagine so.
Why are you so excited about this, though?
Are you kidding me?
This has now officially solidified my status as a golden boy at CNN.
You see, CNN helped create Trump, then profited off of Trump's declaration of the media as the enemy, CNN specifically.
Now I am his personal enemy at CNN.
They couldn't fire me now if they wanted to.
I see.
And not to toot my own horn, but I states managed this perfectly.
I saw where the winds were blowing after Chris Licks got the boot.
Yeah.
His whole experiment of moving CNN more to the center, perhaps even Trump-friendly, was an unmitigated disaster.
And after that Trump Town Hall, I saw the writing on the wall, and I knew it was time to strike.
And what did you do?
Well, when he got indicted, I knew what to do.
Yesterday, as I was covering the arraignment, CNN kept playing the footage of him glanhatting in some restaurant with all his fans.
On air, I told the producers to stop playing that footage.
With disgust in my voice, I pointed out that this was not a campaign commercial for Donald Trump.
Even though CNN has basically been running a non-stop Trump campaign commercial for eight years now.
Exactly.
That's what made it such a bold move, Jimmy.
Such a crossing the Rubicon moment.
And Jimmy, it thundered.
It thundered through the cable newsphere.
Oh, how so?
Well, it told our viewers that we at CNN are no longer going to be the tool of the Trump juggernaut.
But at the same time, it told anyone who actually pays attention to anything that sees to anything that CNN is going to return to its cozy relationship with Donald Trump by re-establishing Trump as an adversary.
A very deft move on my part.
I agree.
And since I was me, I'm the one who did it.
Me?
I was the one coordinated with the newly minted Trump nickname Fake Tamper.
I can't stop saying it.
It really rolls off the tongue.
I'll say I'm going to be on a high for weeks.
I can tell you that much.
It was a risky move for sure, having them cut off that Trump footage live on air.
But it was, you know, all pre-planned and staged and shit.
I'm sure.
Hey, what footage did you replace it with?
Well, the idea was to say, let's focus on something positive instead, something antithetical to Trump.
So we were going to show footage of the pride celebration at Biden's White House.
All the flags and everything.
Very inspiring.
But at the last minute, that video got released of a trans woman flopping her breasts out at the White House lawn and then some other people following suit.
And then she got banned from the White House forever for that.
So then we thought, yeah, okay, maybe not.
We're just going to let Fox Noose handle that one.
So we just didn't play footage of anything.
That was a close one.
I imagine so.
Hey, hold on, Jake.
Or should I say fake?
I'm getting another call here at the Jimmy Doer show.
Hey, Jimmy Door speaking.
Jimmy, it's President Joe Biden.
Ah, Mr. President.
We're just talking about you, pal.
Yeah, so I heard.
It's an honor to speak to you, Mr. President.
Thanks, buddy.
And congratulations on your new nickname.
I love it.
Jake Fapper.
He really went out on that one, didn't he?
No, no, Mr. President.
No, no, no, no.
It's fake tamper.
Oh, well, I guess that works too.
Hey, man, why didn't you cover my pride event?
I was proud of that.
Well, Mr. President, like I said, yeah, no, I know.
I know about the trans girl whipping out her fake titties, so what?
Well, we just thought that it might make some people uncomfortable.
I'm certainly uncomfortable right now.
Why did everybody get to be such a giant prude?
I mean, come on.
The event's called pride, not shame.
Whip them out.
Be proud.
Like that young lady said, she was just living her truth.
Who am I or you or anyone to say that she can't do that?
Wherever, whenever.
But, Mr. President, she was banned from the White House for life.
Yeah, that wasn't my call.
It was my handlers who did that.
Apparently, they're a bunch of dog-tight Sally's just like you two.
I'm trying to solidify my legacy as the most queer-friendly president in history here.
I've committed to this.
And all of a sudden, a couple of juggling cans show up, and it's media blackout from my friendliest cable network.
It just seemed inappropriate.
Not constructive to cover for anybody.
Bitch, have you ever been to a pride parade?
You're lucky we didn't have people twerking on the roof.
Okay, I think we should stop here.
Oh, my God, the both of you.
Grow up.
Grow up.
You're either Puritans or bigots.
Which one is it?
Okay.
I think I should probably go.
After all, I'm a CNN guy.
There are certain things we just, you know, don't talk about.
Fake tamper over and out.
Okay, bye, Jake.
What a spineless little shit.
Yeah, Mr. President, I got to go too.
We have other stuff to get to.
I got to go.
Goodbye, sir.
Oh, give me a break.
Come on.
It's my legacy here, guys.
Tits out at the White House.
That's my vow to the American people.
I might even make it mandatory.
Yeah.
Ah, shit, here come my handlers.
Apparently, I got to stop talking immediately.
I'm getting sick of this.
Okay.
I'm getting sick of this.
Hey, become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
▲
Export Selection