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Sept. 30, 2022 - Jimmy Dore Show
58:59
20220930_TJDS_20220930_Podcast_-_92922_12.28_PM
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Hey, come catch one of our live stand-up shows.
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Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy.
This is fully sensed President Joe Biden.
Ah, Mr. President, thanks for calling.
What are you up to these days?
Oh, a little of this, a little of that.
One little thing I'm working on is remaining steadfast with our NATO allies against the unchecked aggression of the tyrant Vladimir Putin in his attempt to destabilize the entire world to achieve his pernicious aims.
I got I see Russia proves itself again and again to be a bad actor on the world stage.
Case in point, yes, Mr. President.
What was I saying again?
You were saying case in point.
Oh, yeah, case in point.
The sabotage of the Nord Stream 1 and Nord Stream 2 pipelines in the North Sea by Russia.
Absolutely unacceptable act unacceptable act of aggression.
Yeah, how do you how do we know Russia sabotaged those pipelines?
Come on, man.
Grow up.
It was Russia.
Russia did it.
How would it benefit Russia to sabotage the very pipelines through which they would sell natural gas to Western Europe?
But did these pipelines weren't functional at the time?
They were shut down.
They weren't making money off of them.
But they conceivably would be in the future.
They're fucking evil, man.
Who knows why they do what they do?
Why is the guy with the top hat and the curly mustache tie women to the train track?
Yeah.
Who knows?
Who knows the mind of pure evil?
You know, the United States would benefit from the sabotage of those pipelines, not Russia.
What the hell are you talking about, Jack?
That's crazy.
You've been smoking that wacko tobacco again, haven't you?
That's a gateway drug, Jimmy.
By the way, keep smoking that reefer and you'll be doing heroin by age 62.
That's always how it goes.
I've seen it a million times.
It's very sad.
I doubt that.
Spoken like a hopeless addict.
Anyway, who the hell gave you that idea that we'd benefit?
When in all of American history has the U.S. built up a foreign power as a great enemy and then staged an international incident to make it appear as though the enemy committed an act of aggression.
Okay, okay, I'll just skip over that and answer your first question.
You did, sir.
I did, sir.
What?
You gave me the idea with regard to the pipelines.
What internation are you talking about?
There's a video of you stating that if Russia invades Ukraine, that would be the end of the Nord Stream 2 pipeline.
Yeah, yeah, you told a reporter we will put an end to it.
And a reporter asked how, given that it's between Russia and Germany, and you said, quote, I promise you, we will be able to do it.
And people have speculated that Germany would have then been forced to purchase natural gas from the United States at five times the price.
Who told you that?
I've seen the video, sir.
Those were your words.
Well, well, what?
This looks pretty bad now in retrospect.
Come on, man.
Jesus.
Jesus.
You can't take what I say at face value.
Did you see that other embarrassing video of me recently?
Uh, which one?
The one today.
New embarrassing Joe Biden bitches dropped.
I was at a press event and it started asking, Where's Jackie?
Where's Jackie?
Meaning recently deceased Congresswoman Jackie Walarski of Indiana, who was supposed to be there.
She died in a car accident recently, and I was asking for her.
What a gaff!
Why are you highlighting this?
Because if that's where my brain is at, how can you take that pipeline nonsense?
I said, seriously, I don't understand what's going on here, Mr. President.
All right, Jimmy, I'm gonna level with you.
I am a little bit senile, but I have to act like I'm way fucking out of my gourd senile to cover up the mild senility.
Wow.
Yeah, so you know, I'm just senile enough to unwisely show our nation's whole ass with respect to our underhanded foreign policy.
So to save face, I gotta pretend to not know who is dead or alive, not know what time it is, wander off from the podium and go stand in the corner awkwardly, facing the wall like the goddamn Blair Witch Project.
Oh my god, this actually makes sense.
Pretty clever, huh?
Yeah, in a s in a senile kind of way.
Hey, don't give me any lip buck Rogers, or I'll pour phosphate over your head and call you a Cossack lover.
Then I'll hop in my tropie and drive it all the way to Timbuktu without stopping.
Uh what?
See, I can't be trusted.
Obviously, the deep state is running things, not me.
There's no way this old coot has his hand on the tiller of our nefarious neoliberal policies.
Wow, you scoundrel.
Thank you, Jimmy.
Now I gotta go.
I got a press conference singing.
Gonna say the usual shit and then accidentally refer to my German shepherd as Dr. Jill Biden.
Ha ha ha ha!
They'll eat that shit up.
Oh, and don't tell, don't tell anyone about this, right?
I don't think people would believe me if I told them.
That's the plan, Stan.
Anybody here seen my friend Brain?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
Ha ha ha.
Establishment media sets of August Biden.
So good luck the bullshit we can't afford.
Watch and see as a jackdog comedian speeds and jumps comedium and hits him head-on.
It's the chimney tour show.
Joe Biden warned that he was gonna blow up the Nord Stream 2 pipeline.
Want to hear him say it?
Here's a here.
What happened?
Come on.
Let me answer the first question first.
If Germany, if Russia invades, that means tanks or troops crossing the border of Ukraine again.
Then there will be no longer a Nord Stream 2.
we will bring it into it.
So he said he's going to end the Nord Stream 2 pipeline, which is the pipeline that was being built to take gas from So he just said that they're going to blow that thing up.
He didn't say the word blow it up, but he said we're going to stop the oil gas going through it.
But how will you, how will you do that?
How will you do it?
Exactly.
Since the project and control of the project is within Germany's control.
We will, I promise you, we'll be able to do it.
Well, how did they do it?
They did it.
Here's how they did it.
What do you think Germany's going to tell us no where they were blowing your thing up?
They were going to blow up your gas pipeline.
You got no choice.
Nord Stream.
So this is how they're referring to it in newspapers and stuff.
They're saying they're calling it a pipeline leak.
Into the ocean?
What it is?
Into the ocean?
It's on the bottom of the ocean.
Oh, so it's being shot into the free.
Yeah.
It's free.
So a series of unusual leaks and two gas pipelines.
Really?
This leak is unusual.
It's sad.
It's probably not.
They leak like non-stop all the time everywhere.
So here, I like what Jim Richards says.
He says, I don't know who blew up the Nord Stream pipelines.
Both of them.
I do know that when solving a mystery, you look for motives.
Russia has none.
They can turn off the gas when they want.
They can stop the gas.
They didn't need to blow up their own gas pipeline.
So that's why this doesn't make any sense.
When people are blaming Russia for doing this, of course, they're just repeating propaganda coming directly from the State Department and Joe Biden and NATO.
They're saying Russia did it?
Yes.
Yeah.
How would that make any sense?
Here, the U.S. has plenty.
So Russia has none.
They have no motives for doing this.
They can turn off the gas anytime they want.
And the U.S. has plenty of motives.
They can blame Putin.
They can escalate the war.
They can advance their green agenda.
They can make the European Union dependent on American energy.
No, I'm going to withhold judgment.
I want to hear Bosch's take on it first.
It's actually too wild how blatant the U.S. was with this one.
Both Sweden and Germany are like, oh, yeah, so a certain someone definitely sabotaged this, and everyone's got to act like they don't know who.
Caitlin Johnstone says the West has blamed Russia for bad presidents, for Western racism, for Western political divisions, for inflation, for pretty much every bad thing Western power structures are responsible for.
But blaming Russia for attacks on Russia's pipelines is probably going to take the cake.
And I think Russia took the cake also.
And they did.
They bombed the cake.
So do you know who that's got, a member of European Parliament?
He says, thank you, USA.
Well, you're welcome, sir.
That got 42,000 likes.
Here's the German lawmakers break Europe's silence on suspected Nord Stream pipeline saboteur to point the finger at Russia.
So this is how propaganda works.
It doesn't matter how stupid it is.
It doesn't matter how much it doesn't make sense.
The United States got convinced by a moron, George Bush, that a country that didn't have a missile that could reach us was a threat to us.
And we had to invade them.
That's how it doesn't matter how dumb it is.
If the military-industrial complex wants it, it's happening.
And so that's what this is.
You don't think she's bought by the military-industrial complex?
Of course she is.
This is my favorite.
Kremlin dismisses stupid claims that Russia attacked Nordstream.
It is a stupid.
Why would they attack their own goddamn pipeline?
They could just turn off the spicket.
Poland's former foreign minister, a sitting member of the European Parliament, is praising what he suggests is a United States attack on part German-owned civilian infrastructure, which could condemn millions of poverty in a frigid winter.
I'm speechless.
Oh, good.
Stay that way, dude.
Poll, stick with that.
Being speechless.
again if you this is how this works and now it doesn't matter if they're Jackson, now it doesn't matter if there's a peace treaty because they can't send the gas anyway.
They blew up the pipelines.
So now it doesn't.
So now the United States is like, hey, peace might break out.
People are starting to catch on to this.
Even Chris Hayes tweeted out that we should stop sending weapons to Ukraine.
So people are starting to catch on.
And so what did they do?
They blew up the fucking pipelines.
The United States did this.
Go ahead, Jackson.
10 days before they blew up these pipelines, Putin went to European officials and told them, and it was during a time in which he was meeting with also Turkish and Saudi officials, and they were discussing potentially negotiating a peace deal with Ukraine again.
This was about a week and a half ago.
And he told.
Oh, it's happening again.
The Nord Stream 2 back operating is press the button and essentially removing the sanctions.
Remove the sanctions, stop the proxy war, and Nord Stream 2 will be operating again.
There's no reason whatsoever.
Oh, this is not going to work today.
Massive piece of leverage on Europe, that being gas flow into Europe through the Nord Stream 1 and 2 pipelines, would destroy the infrastructure that could potentially be used to leverage that gas flow in the future.
It makes no sense whatsoever.
And there's a ton of information that suggests that the U.S., of course, is responsible for it.
I'm sure you have some of those details.
But I mean, it's crazy.
And if anyone doesn't understand why the United States would do this, I suggest you reflect in history back to 1519 when Cortez landed in the new world.
And when arriving on arrival, he burned up all their ships.
He burned up their ships because he wanted to send a message that there's no turning back.
And that's the message that the United States just sent to Europe.
There's no turning back.
You have to commit 100% to this proxy war and all the anti-Russia policies that we're putting forward.
That is exactly what this is.
But maybe I would consider this.
Putin is a madman.
You want to hear, this is back in 2014.
This is Cotton Lisa Rice in 2014.
You ready for this?
Do you think Germany's been as aggressive as they should be?
I'm quite an admirer of Chancellor Merkel, and I heard her statement when she was with President Obama in Washington.
I thought it was a very good statement.
But now we need to have tougher sanctions.
And I'm afraid at some point this is going to probably have to involve oil and gas.
The Russian economy is vulnerable.
80% of Russian exports are in oil, gas, and minerals.
People say, well, the Europeans will run out of energy.
Well, the Russians will run out of cash before the Europeans run out of energy.
And I understand that it's uncomfortable to have an effect on business ties in this way.
But this is one of the few instruments that we have.
Over the long run, you simply want to change the structure of energy dependence.
You want to depend more on the North American energy platform, the tremendous bounty of oil and gas that we're finding in North America.
You want to have pipelines that don't go through Ukraine and Russia.
For years, we've tried to get the Europeans to be interested in different pipeline routes.
It's time to do that.
And so some of this is simply acting and acting.
That was nice of Putin to help out by bombing his own pipes.
Biden didn't deliver a $15 minimum wage, but he did blow up a pipeline that provides Europe with natural gas.
Does this sound like, you know, in Caddyshack when Judge Smales is like, you know, I send boys your age to the gas chamber?
Didn't want to do it.
Felt I owed it to him.
I hear that over and over.
I hear that over and over again in every single one of these things.
Is that freak?
You know, Madeline Albright, was it worth it to kill all those kids?
They didn't want to do it.
Felt we owed it to them.
Yeah.
They're all Judge Smales.
Breaking.
Germany says attack on Nord Stream pipeline has triggered NATO Article 5, but it's complicated since it was by the United States.
Now, this is not really from Reuters, but that's so this is a joke, but that's a good joke.
52,000 likes.
So I'm going to guess NATO Article 5 is the one that says if somebody attacks a NATO state, that you're attacking all of us.
And so we all have to go to war now with that.
I think, is that what Article 5 is, Jackson?
You kind of broke up there for me.
But Article 5, this would essentially be the United States triggering our.
Oh, we can't do this today.
Okay, so we're fucked today with our internet, man.
It keeps freezing on us left and right.
So, Article 5, Jackson.
That means if you attack one NATO country, it's like you're attacking all the NATO countries, right?
That's what Article 5 is.
And if someone attacks a NATO country, now they all have to go to war with that country.
Is that what Article 5 is?
Yeah, you broke up, but I think that was the just.
What's Article 5?
The United Nations Security Council is going to convene at the request of Russia to discuss damage to two Russian gas pipelines to Europe that has caused gas.
So they're going to have a National Security Council meeting over this.
Again, the United States, we are the gangster.
We're the terrorists.
We're the world's terrorists.
We're the world's gangster.
Putin can't hold a fucking candle to the United States.
Gangsterism.
Oh, my God.
Just realized maybe Jimmy Doer is attacking the Doorstream pipeline himself.
Hey, Russian spy whales shine spotlight on military great animals.
Look, Russian spy.
That's what Russia.
How do you know when they're Russian spy whales into it?
That's right.
Maybe a Russian spy whale.
That's how evil they are.
So this is way more horrible than I think people in the United States realize what this means.
It's so stupid that I see the trick.
Like, I wouldn't even, I would have to reread it because I would, I'd be like, oh, that's not what that said.
And I just move on with my, you know, because it's that blatant and stupid.
What is that Russia did that to their own pipeline that they could turn off?
So it's almost like kind of perfect in a way.
Because you read it, like, your brain's like, that I was like shocked at the beginning when you said it.
This screws Europe through this winter fucking hard.
And they're just doing it.
But go ahead.
It does screw them, but also it just so happened to magically take place on the same day that the Baltic pipeline, which runs through, I think it's like Norway, Denmark, Poland, was set up and established and finalized.
So very interesting timing there.
And the U.S. knows exactly what they're doing, and we know what the U.S. is doing.
They led a U.S. Navy ship detachment of assault ships into this Baltic Sea region, just 30 miles away from the Nord Stream 1 and 2 pipeline explosions just a few days.
Navy fleet that was on board, which focuses on warfare center-pacific naval undersea warfare operations.
So this group was on board the assault ship and they were soaring very close to these two pipelines.
I think we know exactly what happened.
It's as clear as day.
Oh, and the last thing I'll say is: yeah, it's not just going to screw them for this winter.
They're now, German authorities, German intelligence is saying that these pipelines are potentially irreparable.
Yes.
Yes, that they're like, well, here's an article by Al Jazeera.
Depending on the scale of the damage, the leaks could even mean a permanent closure of both lines, Nord Stream 1 and 2.
Yeah.
So I said at the beginning of this, this might sound crazy, but it looks like the United States and NATO are doing this because they want to sell more energy to Europe.
And Russia is currently now providing 40% of Europeans energy.
And the United States gas companies, they want part of that.
And that's exactly what this is.
That's exactly what's happening.
Isn't that what's happening, Jackson?
That and it's begins to negotiate with Russia.
Say it again.
It's going to do exactly what you just said and also stop any efforts that may have been underway that the Saudis and the Turks were talking about insofar as the Europeans negotiating an end to this war in Ukraine with Russia.
Oh, good.
We can't send Boris again, so we got to.
Did they send Boris in scuba gear to the bottom?
I initially thought maybe he was on his post, you know, PM vacation and he did a belly flop from the fifth floor of his yacht.
That's what exploded it.
I was wrong.
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So this guy here, this guy's name is John Alpert, and he's a documentarian.
Now, he used to work at NBC News.
And now, I don't know exactly when they did this interview, but case study found it.
So this guy.
Shout out to him.
Shout out to the case study.
Case study gets a lot of good stuff.
So, but this was interesting because it just shows you the mentality of the corporate news around War and why we have so much of it.
Let's watch.
We had to define.
Now, this is the first he was working.
NBC had to go into Iraq.
This is in 1991 for the first war or Gulf War.
No, Gulf War classic.
Old school.
The Iraqi restrictions.
When we got to Iraq in the middle of the war, it was obvious that this was not the bloodless war that was being shown to us on American television.
Back in those days, the generals would go on TV and they would show the cameras from the jet planes hitting bridges.
And one of the reporters asked if there were any planes that missed the target.
100% accuracy.
And they also asked him about civilian deaths and collateral damage.
And our military claimed that this was a bloodless war.
And I don't know whether you guys have been to wars.
I've been to a lot of wars and there's no such thing.
And it's very, very important that the American people understand what happens when we apply our military power around the world.
We have to know this because we're a big, strong, and potentially dangerous nation.
And so in the middle of the war, I went to Iraq.
And when you arrive in Iraq, you're presented with three pages of restrictions that you're supposed to follow.
Can't turn your camera on without permission, can't turn it off without permission.
I mean, it just went on and on.
And instead of this single babysitter, we got two or three babysitters because they were really scared of me because they knew that I'd had a lot of experience in war zones and I might trick them and trick them.
We did.
And within two or three days, we broke every single one of those restrictions.
We filmed what was really going on.
It was a war and people were dying.
And I snuck those tapes out of the country in my sock and brought them back to the United States.
And NBC was very excited.
And this was going to be the lead story on NBC News.
And it was going to be the first real truth from the battlefield.
And two hours before the broadcast, I was summoned into the office of the NBC president.
And he said, we're not going to show your tape and you're never going to work here again.
And fired me.
Bam.
And I went to CBS.
CBS watched this material and said, this is astonishing.
People need to know about this.
We're going to broadcast this.
Thank you for bringing this to us.
Two o'clock in the morning.
He got a phone call.
He was fired.
Bam!
And everybody in television knew that you better not go near this footage.
So we don't kill people in the United States like they do in other countries.
Has anyone seen this footage?
Has this footage ever come out anywhere?
It was a big deal in Europe and in other places, not here in the United States.
The one country that really needed to see this was we were the ones who were prosecuting the war.
And it was shown on TBS.
Bill Moyer showed it in sort of as a hand-wringing expose of how the American press let us down during that war.
So that's how people at NBC News bring you the war coverage.
They fire people who tell you the truth about war.
And I don't know if you know if you remember during the second Iraq war, the second Gulf War, Brian Williams would bring on defense generals, retired generals, who were getting paid by defense contractors to advocate for certain specific weapon systems when they went on television.
And they always advocated for more war and more weapons systems.
But Brian Williams never told you that those generals he was bringing on to tell you the straight dope were actually being paid and they were propagandists for more war.
He didn't tell you that.
The guy who did tell you that won a Nobel Prize for it in the New York Times.
Brian Williams still never informed his audience of that.
Do you think anybody at NBC ever played this video?
You think Chris Hayes or Rachel Maddow ever told their audience about this?
You ever think they talked about Ashley Banfield who got fired from MSNBC for telling the truth about war?
Or how about Jesse Ventura?
How about when they fired Phil Donahue?
And they said it was because he had low ratings.
He was the highest rated show on the network at the time.
And then it came out that a memo leaked that it was because he was telling the truth about the Iraq war.
That's why we have a show.
And that's why corporate news is garbage.
As a kid, I remember a skit from Saturday Night Live.
I think it was TV Fun House.
They did a skit where it was a cartoon, a short animation skit where they were calling out NBC as it was owned by General Electric and how it was also connected to building weapons in the military industrial complex.
I forget the name of the skit, but I think that was the last time said artist was ever allowed to be on Saturday Night Live when it used to be funny.
I'm all about to remember when Saturday Night Live used to be funny.
My God, I think it's finally happened.
But on top of that, you know, when I was doing my first tour in Iraq in the green zone, which is like where all the higher tier people were at, you know, you saw outlets like KBR and Blackwater at the time and all these other things.
And when you saw reporters, they were being escorted and protected.
And we were doing site security at the time.
It's one big show.
You don't want to show people what's going on.
You show people a two-minute clip, and then that's it.
And that's how you sell war and you make it entertaining for the American people.
You want to see Kit?
You want to see the kind of stories that actually did make the news back then?
Oh, I dread to see it.
Malcolm found this.
This is a former CBS with Dan Rather, executive producer.
And he later went on to become president of CBS News.
This guy.
His name is Jeff Fager.
And somebody asked, he's been asking an interview about, what do you remember about covering the Gulf War?
And here's the kind of stories that did make the news.
So the story of the dead citizens that we killed in Iraq, they got two people fired for just having the tape.
This guy got promoted to be the head of the network.
So let's see what kind of news reporting he did.
I did some in the Gulf War for Steve Croft for 60 Minutes.
We did two stories.
One was about the chemical suits the Americans were going to be using because everybody was afraid that Saddam would use chemical weapons in the battlefield.
So that's a good story because it shows that the guy we're going after is a monster who uses chemical weapons.
And then we get to sell more of these suits, these chemical suits to the military and everybody will be happy.
So that's a good story.
Good story.
Good story, Jeff.
You did it.
I hated wearing those suits when we had to do training ops.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I hated them.
Okay.
Oh, it's got so hot.
I'm sorry.
And Saddam never did use chemicals on you.
Well, I mean, when I did my first tour, I mean, he was already arrested.
You know, I didn't find out until when he passed away in 2007 during my second tour.
Our staff sergeant, our platoon sergeant, walked in and says, hey, Saddam Hussein is dead.
And that was it.
We all went right back to sleep, like, whatever.
I think he died by hanging or I think that's what happened.
Yeah, they hanged, they hanged him.
So here's another story that this guy got on the air.
So he did, this guy, head of the CBS.
Let's see what are the two stories he launched.
He filed.
And another was about the Kuwaiti government in exile.
And that was really interesting because they were in Saudi Arabia in a Sheridan hotel.
Literally, you know, go to the sixth floor for the Ministry of Oil, you know, which is which was interesting.
I haven't seen that story.
I do.
I have gone back and looked at a lot.
I don't know whether that was any good, but I think it was pretty interesting.
Yeah, that was pretty interesting.
Certainly more interesting than the stuff that got that guy fired.
That was really interesting.
Hey, there's some Kuwaiti officials in a Sheridan hotel in Saudi Arabia.
Hey, you want to run that story or the one about how we're killing civilians in Iraq?
I say, I was going to flip a coin.
Let's run with the Sheridan story and fire the guy who did the other one.
I'm just flipping a coin.
Wow.
Okay.
Anything?
So what do you think?
I mean, you're a veteran.
What do you think?
So what do soldiers think about the when you were in Iraq?
Did you know it was all bullshit and there were no weapons of mass destruction and that you were being taken advantage of?
Well, in 2003, when they were telling the story to corporate media that, hey, there's WMDs there, that eventually, what was Rumsfeld said, well, we thought there were WMDs, and then they were saying we're there to free the people from Saddam Hussein and do nation building.
So 2004, obviously, going 2005 was when I did my first tour.
There were no WMDs.
Everyone knew it.
So how does that affect you?
To this day, I realize that, you know, I was part of something that was a horrible lie.
So many people are forever affected and impacted.
It's just not only here in America, but this is an international crisis because, again, the actions of the Bush-Cheney administration severely left a mark on international policy to where now there's ongoing war.
And Barack Obama led us from two wars of seven wars.
There was no restriction.
How did it affect me?
I just know that from Iraq, there now is ongoing wars.
There's open slave trade in Libya.
There's ongoing interest in conflicts happening in Syria.
There's an open genocide happening in Yemen.
We have this ridiculous conflict that's happening in Ukraine.
It's ongoing forever war.
There's been no accountability.
It's ever since 2001, since September 11th happened.
Have the American people known a year of peace without war?
Has the whole world known a year of peace?
And the answer is the most definite no.
We are stuck in war because of these sycophants in power in the Democratic and Republican Party who are owned by the military-industrial complex, Wall Street and Big Oil.
And there was a chance this could have been stopped.
But people in power and those that were in the media that could have done something chose not to and chose to go along with everything because they want to have access to the top 1%.
So when you're in war, which you were, and you know, why did you go back for a second tour?
Did you not know it was a scam?
Well, here's the thing.
When you listen to the military, you sign a four-year contract.
So you just can't up and leave, you know, because you're looking at jail time.
So you can't say, no, I don't want to go back.
I mean, if you did, I mean, that's, that's.
That'd be a problem.
That would be a severe problem.
So, but, so, so now you know, and you had, you're being sent back, and everybody with you kind of knows too that this is bullshit.
Everyone knew.
Everyone knew.
I mean, everyone just went along.
I mean, the thing is, it's been ongoing.
It's not only just in one part of the military, but everyone knew.
And the thing is, the civilian people knew.
If anything, from 2004, since 2001 up until 2008, I mean, the American people should have, in all reality, done something.
The politicians should have done something.
Our media should have done something.
It's just not one group.
Everyone knew, but no one chose not to because eventually a story like Afghanistan, WMDs in Iraq, passes away for celebrity gossip and the tragedy that happened on 9-11, forgotten.
The ongoing ridiculous wars happening.
It was accepted as a normal.
Nobody panicked.
You know, remember that scene from The Joker in the Dark Knight where he had Harvey Dent gunpointed in the hospital bed?
If I were to go to the press right now and tell that a gangbanger was going to die in the street or a truck's load of soldiers were going to blow up in some war overseas, nobody's going to panic.
The American people didn't panic.
Our media conditioned us to go along with it.
Our politicians conditioned us, Democrats and Republicans.
So the only solution right now is to wake up, don't trust corporate media, and don't vote Democrat or Republican.
You want to do something good now?
I mean, we could go back in the past and say, what if, what if, what if?
Don't support the Democratic Party.
Don't support the Republican Party.
Because look at the 20 plus years of damage that they've done to us.
And if they can keep on doing it to us, they'll keep on screwing us over.
Don't support the two-party system.
You, sir, sound like a white supremacist.
So we're back at the goalkeepers.
Remember the goalkeepers?
This is the Bill Gates-funded bullshit philanthropy thing at Goalkeepers, right?
And then that they presented an award to a young lady who was an environmentalist, and then she said that there shouldn't be a world with billionaires shouldn't exist.
So that was the big story.
She challenged that.
I'd like to invite you to an island.
So here, Bill Gates is on a panel.
And you know who this guy is?
He's the Kumar from Harold and Kumar.
Yes.
Luminary.
And so watch his brilliant question.
Watch this.
My first question, I think, has to be for a bill here.
And I, because of the intro, I'm dying to know, why did you put microchips in our vaccines?
And what was the coolest thing you saw when you tracked all of us?
Isn't that funny?
Isn't that funny?
Him making him, oh, taking down a straw man he just invented.
Look at his stupid book.
No, the real question is, Epstein didn't really commit suicide, did he, Bill?
That's the real question you should have asked.
And follow up, how many teen sex slaves would you say you vaccinated the hard way, if you catch my drink?
No, the real question is, does Melinda have some kind of juicy evidence of all the creepy shit you did on Rape Island?
And that's why she hasn't committed suicide yet?
No, the real question is, did you see Harold and Kumar go to White Castle?
I'm a moderately funny, if I'm being, if I'm being generous, he's a moderately funny actor.
Do you think they picked me for this on purpose because I'm a Trevor Noah-level midwit and rich liberals associate Indians with math and science?
Just dress me up kind of gay.
Put me out there.
They think I know about science.
No, the real question is, do you think maybe because I'm a typical smug TWAT actor who knows jack shit about shit, that's why I relish ironically mocking some straw man conspiracy theory that no one in real life has ever said to me once.
But I'm a hack.
You think it's weird that it looks like I didn't wear socks, but when you look up clothes, they're just weird, almost flesh-colored socks.
They are flesh-colored socks.
I thought you didn't have socks.
That's what was so annoying while he was doing his dumb bit.
I was like, does he not have socks on like a Dominican?
Oh, no, he has flesh-colored socks.
He looks like the Indian Jimmy Kimmel.
Wow.
I was trying to think of what he reminds me of, and that's exactly right.
No, okay, the real question: what was different from your experience about misinformation in the past two years?
I mean, you've been the target, obviously, of something like this before.
Oh, this poor former same or has the have the last two years had a markedly different experience?
No, the pandemic was completely unexpected.
I'd say that, even though we predicted it a couple months before, Kumar, I know you don't know anything, so I'm going to tell you completely unexpected.
Even though we had been talking about it for years and years prior, saying it was coming.
And then we had a simulation of it, like just a couple of months before it happened.
Completely unexpected.
This guy is such a fucking bullshitter.
So here we go.
He's got more to say.
Biggest tragedy is that it fragmented society where certain sources had they told you to wear a mask.
That was the last thing you were going to do.
Or they told you, you know, to get the vaccine, particularly to protect reduce transmission to elderly people.
They didn't comply.
And so it is a phenomena that held us back and hurt us in a pretty dramatic way.
So he's blaming the unvaccinated again.
He's blaming the people who were skeptical.
First of all, the guy who lied about masks.
I wonder why people didn't trust Fauci.
Maybe because he lied blatantly at the top of his lungs, repeatedly over and over about masks.
Maybe that's why.
Maybe the fragments are people that heard him on Tuesday and people that saw him on Friday.
Yeah, maybe those are the fragments.
Bill Gates is still doing this.
He's still dividing the country, pushing a culture war.
He's using all his money and all his influence to push a culture war.
You want to know the guy who lied about masks?
People should not be walking around with masks.
What?
You're sure of it because people are listening really closely to this.
Right now, people should not be walking.
There's no reason to be walking around with a mask.
When you're in the middle of an outbreak, wearing a mask might make people feel a little bit better and it might even block a droplet, but it's not providing the perfect protection that people think that it is.
And often there are unintended consequences.
People keep fiddling with the mask and they keep touching their face.
And can you get some schmutz sort of sting inside there?
Of course, of course.
But when you think masks, you should think of healthcare providers needing them and people who are ill.
I like he goes, are you sure?
Because, like, I forgot that.
Yeah.
Where he was like, there's a lot of people watching.
No, I'm going to lie to their faces right now.
What do you think?
I'm Fauge.
You think I'm not sure?
So Bill Gates still blaming the unvaxed.
Can you believe that shit?
Did you see what he said about?
Oh, so people wouldn't take the thing so they wouldn't infect their grandparents.
It's sad.
It was.
I thought we fucking proved that.
So that was the point of this whole show.
So that's why people called me anti-vax because we debunked shit like that.
Because they kept saying, like Rachel Maddow said, if you get vaccinated, it'll end the pandemic.
Now, I knew that was not true.
I knew that was a big pharma-funded lie that was repeated by people like Rachel Maddow and him and other people and everybody in the corporate media.
That was never true.
And so we've been debunking that for over a year now on this show.
People called us anti-vax for debunking that, for telling the truth about COVID.
A guy that got vaxxed, by the way.
I got double vax from it.
I got double vaxed and I got injured.
I got vaccine injured from it.
And now people are just sticking their heads in the sand about all the ramifications.
Because you know why?
You're the sucker that is like arguing about the thing they're saying and all like you're Cal Penn.
It's like, look, or you're a Don Lemon with the climate change.
Like, I don't actually care.
I hate these people.
Right.
Can you just give me the thing I need about the people I hate?
What are you worried about?
The deeds.
Is that the hill you want to die on?
The details?
Yes.
Yeah, I want to die on the hill of the details about COVID policy and how they.
So now they say he was lying then.
I've talked to doctors who are smarter than this guy, and they say, no, he was actually telling the truth then.
And then he started lying after.
Oh my God.
So who?
I don't know.
He says, Fauci says he was lying then.
This is what Fauci says.
Well, after you do that, after you go on 60 minutes and lie about the most important thing in the world, shouldn't you have to resign?
No, you know why he didn't resign?
Because Big Pharma, which really controls our government, wanted him there because he's a corrupt piece of shit criminal, and they knew he was going to keep lying for them and keep pushing money-making schemes, which is what he did.
Well, if Trump had done it, it would be a window into his evil soul.
If Fauci does it, he's just a wooden piece of hell.
He wants to be a real boy.
That's right.
And he's going to learn.
Let's hear Bill Gates one more time.
My first question, I think, had to be for Bill here.
And I, because I'm like, you know, why did you put Microsoft internet scenes?
And what was the coolest thing you saw when you tracked all of us?
Okay, the real question: what was the difference between your story of misinformation in the last few years?
I mean, you've been talking about something like this before.
Is it important to say or is it?
The last few years had a marketing different experience.
Actually, the people who were a target of smears and disinformation, Kumar, those were called the people who did the Barrington Declaration.
And people like Bill Gates smeared those people.
That's what happened.
It wasn't the other way around.
Go ahead.
How much do you want this idiot?
I know.
I never met him, but I promise you, he's talked about, like, I don't like the comedy that punches down.
I like punching up like the January 6th people attacking Bill Gates, a farmer.
So let's hear Bill Gates.
Endemic was completely unexpected.
I'd say the biggest tragedy is that.
He just lied right there, by the way.
So did you see him go like this?
The endemic, the pandemic was completely unexpected.
Why did he do that?
Why does he do this?
The biggest tragedy is my friend Jeffrey Epstein's suicide.
That's right.
Let's watch.
Endemic was a surprise, right?
It was a surprise.
That's what we're saying.
It was a surprise.
He's doing Mary Catherine Gallagher from SNL and Molly Shannon.
She's where I get nervous.
I stick my hands in my arms.
Yeah, that's what he's doing.
That's what he's doing.
Completely unexpected.
I'd say the biggest tragedy is that it fragmented society where certain sources that they told you to wear a mask, that was the last thing.
You mean certain sources?
You mean like Fauci said, don't wear a mask on 60 minutes?
And those sources were the same guy.
And then the same guy said, I lied.
You can trust me now.
Well, I believe yesterday, Fauci.
You were going to do, or They told you, you know, to get the vaccine, particularly to protect, reduce transmission to elderly people.
So that right there is what this show has been debunking for over a year.
Including Bill Gates.
At the time, we didn't know it didn't do that.
Bill Gates has now said he's going back and forth.
He's going back and forth on this.
Here's what Bill Gates has said about vaccines and COVID before.
It wasn't until early February when I was in a meeting that Efforts of the Foundation said, there's no way.
You know, there's been too much travel without diagnosis.
So now he's trying to pretend right here.
He's trying to pretend that the reason why they couldn't contain the pandemic was because too many people were traveling.
That's not why.
That's not why.
That's why he's doing all this because he's lying.
This is also the time he decided to stop wearing sweaters on stage.
So here we go.
Watch this.
For us to contain this.
And then at that point, we didn't really understand the fatality rate.
You know, we didn't understand that it's a fairly low fatality rate and that it's a disease mainly of the elderly, kind of like fluis, although a bit different.
He just said, well, now we didn't know that the fatality rate was low.
We always did know that.
How many tells can one guy have?
He's tapping his chair.
Million tells.
So this guy says, sign someone's lying, over-exaggeration, hand gestures, and face touching.
They knew, they knew it was a low fatality rate.
He's dead now.
And now here he is telling us that it's a disease of the elderly.
That's what people were saying, the Barrington Declaration people were saying at the beginning of COVID, that we should have targeted, we should target our help to people.
We should have targeted vaccines.
We should have targeted lockdowns.
We should have targeted mask wearing.
We should target people who are vulnerable.
And who are the people who are vulnerable to COVID?
The elderly with comorbidities and the obese.
That's who's vulnerable.
People with comorbidities, if you're a diabetic, or if you already have cancer.
And if you're obese, 77% of the people hospitalized from COVID were obese or overweight.
They never say that.
And then plus, the average age of death from COVID over the age of life expectancy.
They don't tell you any of this.
So now, but he still today goes back to his goalkeepers thing and still wants you to be angry at half the country for not for doing stuff, for not doing something that wouldn't have made a fucking difference.
We could never, ever vaccinate our way out of this pandemic, ever, especially with a leaky vaccine.
And what is a leaky vaccine, Jimmy?
That means if you get vaccinated, it doesn't stop you from getting the virus and it doesn't stop you from transmitting it.
And here he is still saying that.
He's still pushing that line, wanting you to be angry at your neighbor for your grandmother dying.
That's not their fault.
The person who made the grandmother die was Dr. Fauci because he funded gain of function research that developed the COVID-19 virus.
And that's according to Jeffrey Zachs, the chairman of the Lancet study group on COVID-19, that the COVID-19 virus originated in U.S. bio labs.
So that was invented by fucking Fauci.
That's who's responsible.
But this guy wants you to hate your neighbor for not getting vaccinated, even though he knows that doesn't stop, that never was going to do what he said it did.
But he wants you to blame your neighbor for your grandmother getting COVID and dying.
Is that what goal, like that goalkeepers thing when I was watching Cal Penn?
It looked like a late night infomercial where like the host to say, now tell us about that.
Is that what this is in infomercial to say it's not my fault?
Kind of.
Thank you.
That's all they have is dividing the country disingenuously because that's what this is.
Dividing the country.
And then of course, he gets some he gets a bullshit.
My first question, I think.
He gets a bullshit Hollywood guy to ask him the question.
Isn't it weird they have a Hollywood guy asking that question?
They don't have, I don't know, somebody who's skeptical of the COVID narrative.
Isn't that weird?
Or just somebody that...
Why don't they bring on Joe Rogan and all the doctors they brought on that show?
You know why?
Because they would get humiliated by Joe Rogan and all the doctors Joe Rogan brought on.
Why don't you humiliate Joe Rogan?
Bring him on your show.
Because Joe Rogan brought on Dr. Sanjay Gupta on his show.
And guess who got humiliated?
Dr. Sanjay Gupta got humiliated by a pot-smoking comedian.
Why?
Because they're liars and they're big pharma propagandists.
And it doesn't take much to cut through that.
But Joe Rogan did it.
He got him to admit they were lying at the top of their lungs about Ivermectin.
And why would they lie about Ivermectin?
Because if Ivermectin could treat COVID, they couldn't get their emergency youth authorization for their vaccines and they would lose a couple of hundred billion dollars.
And how much is $100 billion?
It's enough to buy every person in the government and the media.
Coast to coast.
That's how much $100 billion.
It's over too, I bet.
A lot of change left over.
You know that so funny to see where the power intersects with like the dippy young kid fake Brooklyn left because like when you had a boogaloo boy like you don't platform a wrong idea because when they talk and people won't know what you're doing and so then they think they're being good commies with that and then some rich that suits them just fine.
That's right.
That suits them just fine.
You're like, oh, we're the victim and don't platform them.
Come on, Cal Bill Gates.
I, again, when I mix with regular people all the time in comedy clubs, right?
I don't just hang out in news circles.
I hang out with regular people in comedy clubs, regular comedians, regular, regular people.
And they think Bill Gates is a good guy.
They think that if you say something.
Is that crazy?
If they think if you say something negative about Bill Gates, you're some kind of crazy conspiracy theorist.
Someone said to me a real quote where I was saying like Bill Gates.
He goes, what do you say?
What do you mean?
The giving pledge isn't real?
You're the Warren Buffett in him, the giving.
Yes.
Like, I don't even know what to say to somebody after that.
I'm like, oh, it's, I feel like I told little kids Santa's not real and their parents are going to be mad.
In this house, we say Santa and the giving pledge are real.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who is this?
Jimmy, this is beloved comic actor Vince Vaughan, known on the Jimmy Dore show as Double V. Yeah, Vince.
Thanks for calling.
What's on your mind, pal?
I'll tell you what's on my mind.
The glories of capitalism.
Is that so?
Yes.
Hey, what has stirred?
What has stirred this great emotion in you, Vince?
The tanking of fake meat.
I'm afraid I don't understand.
This stupid trend of meat substitutes that has been chapping my ass for the past few years.
Beyond meat.
Impossible burger.
What's fucking dumber than those names?
I'll tell you, they're shitty products and the cucks and simps who eat them.
Oh, okay.
Everybody say, oh, this is the way to the future.
This is how everyone will eat eventually.
Fake, shitty meat substitutes.
I can't believe it.
It tastes just like a real burger.
Yeah, maybe if you've been personally castrated by Hillary Clinton, it does.
What does this have to do with capitalism?
Okay, the stocks of these companies have been absolutely tanking, hemorrhaging value.
Experts say the market has reached full saturation, meaning all the suckers who would have fallen for this fucking scam have already been suckered.
There's no more.
The invisible hand of Adam Smith gave these pussies the middle finger and then grabbed the goddamn Big Mac and said it right down the invisible gullet of Adam Smith.
Okay, if you don't like meat substitutes, that's fine.
Don't eat them.
I don't understand why you're so upset.
Making a fake burger that's not even meat?
That's stolen valor, baby.
As playing as meat, I could make a joke about plants that identify as ground beef, but I'm not going to.
I'm not going to do that.
Bad idea, not funny, already hacky.
I myself have enjoyed an impossible burger from time to time, and I quite like them.
It's good to eat less meat, no?
Okay, if that's the lifestyle that you've chosen, I'm not going to shame you, far be it from me to do that.
But yeah, that kind of makes you a pussy a little bit.
I'm not going to lie.
I'll do you one better, Vince.
I'm considering going full-on vegetarian.
Okay, you know what?
That's fine.
But eat actual vegetables.
Real food, plants and grains.
Not some weird Frankenburger made in a fucking lab.
Every generation of vegetarians in the past has come to accept that hamburgers and cheeseburgers and other delicious things, they're in the rearview mirror forever.
And they deal with it.
This new generation of vegetarians are whiny Gen Z pussies who think they can just have anything they want.
Vince, you have to acknowledge that our food supply is unsustainable.
10 billion people can't all eat meat all the time.
Being vegetarian is an ecological choice.
I completely agree with everything you just said.
No argument.
I know that we are going to have to cut down on meat production.
I'm fully aware of that.
So I love it when people go vegetarian because that means that I don't have to.
I can keep eating the meat that is actually still being produced.
How environmentally minded of you, Vince?
I am a grateful son of Mother Earth, Jimmy.
But again, it's simple economics.
A pound of this fake meat costs almost $9 a pound, whereas actual ground beef is like four something.
What kind of weird shit do you have to do to plant to make it more expensive than growing an entire fucking cow?
Voodoo?
Satanism?
Soylent green?
What the fuck is going on, man?
Come on, Vince.
And these people, I'm telling you, the people who run these companies are cracking at the seams.
They're coming apart.
An executive at Beyond Meat was recently arrested for trying to bite someone's nose off.
I know what?
Yes.
That's what fake meat does to you.
It was a road rage incident after an Arkansas Razorback game of all places.
Wow.
Yeah, and you know where he worked before that?
Tyson.
Yep.
Tyson, the kings of unsustainable factors barn beef production.
Just the words.
And then he sells out.
He goes over to fake meat, where they finally have figured out how to make chickpeas taste like ground chuck.
And then their stocks tank.
There's only so much a man can take, Jimmy.
I suppose so, Vince.
So get your fake burgers while you can.
The writing is on the wall, and that writing is in cow's blood that says, eat me.
No.
Okay, you've made your position very clear.
I, for one, will continue to make ethical food choices.
Oh, well, that's a gold star for you.
We'll put it right up on the bulletin board for all the good boys and girls to see right next to the sign that says we keep our hands and feet to ourselves.
And as for myself, I see a porterhouse in my future.
Rare.
Well, Vince, I'm glad to see you are keeping your eye on the important issues.
I always do, JD.
This station was founded by people who didn't give a shit about anything and ate meat all the time.
And I'll be goddamn if I get woked out of my god-given right to make fun of anyone trying to make the world a better place.
How valiant of you.
That's me.
Valiant, Vince Vaughan.
Triple V. Fake meat is for fake men.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head on down to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, a place that was named by someone having a stroke because they had eaten too much red meat.
And I'm going to have a steak and get absolutely enraged about some other shit that does not affect me, even in the slightest, not even a little bit.
Maybe crime in New York, a city where I don't even live.
Who knows?
It'll be fun.
Double V out.
Double V. Hey, become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Freak out.
Freak out.
Don't freak out.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
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