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Sept. 16, 2022 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:04:06
20220916_TJDS_20220916_Podcast_-_91322_6.23_PM
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Hey, come catch one of our live stand-up shows.
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Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hello, is this James?
Oh, wait, is this Prince Charles?
That would be King Charles III.
Oh, right, right.
Your mom croaked.
Yes, unfortunate bit of business, that.
Why are you calling our show?
Well, you see, I'm doing a bit of a media blitz as the new reigning monarch of Great Britain, and I was told I ought to speak to you, sir.
Quite inexplicably, I might say.
Well, we do have over a million subscribers.
I'm sure I don't know what that means.
Something pedestrian, certainly.
So, do you have any questions for your new king?
Yeah, you're not my new king, FYI.
California and the United States, pal.
Oh, yes, yes.
I'm afraid that's not part of the Commonwealth anymore, is it?
I'm afraid not.
So, Charles III, you went with Charles as your regnal name.
You could have chosen one of your other names, like how your grandfather Albert went with George VI.
Well, I wanted to go with Charles III because of its history.
You see, Charles I chief of Parliament so much they chopped his head off, poor bloke.
He only reigned a few more years after that.
Charles II was a bit of a playboy, so I had nearly a dozen illegitimate children, but no heir, and left the finances in disarray.
I figured next to them, I'd seem just peachy in comparison.
I see.
Okay.
And what is your first order of business as king?
To continue the legacy of my dear departed mama to take up the duties that she holds so dear.
And what would those duties be, Chief?
Oh, just sort of puttering about, looking at things, appearing at places where I ought to be.
Yes.
Giving approving glances, being followed by small dogs, inspecting the various royal palaces, that sort of thing.
Oh, yes, and being a man of the people, naturally.
Is that so?
A video has circulated of you just days into your reign, nastily commanding a subordinate to move something on the desk in front of you.
It was a pretty bad look.
Well, it's a rather well-known fact about me that I don't like objects.
You don't like objects.
Well, no, by that you mean objects that are just sort of waywards, you know, lurking about, sitting in places existing adamantly.
I wish them removed from my presence altogether, and that forthwith.
Why don't you just move the small items yourself?
Well, first of all, these are these weren't these were objects and not items.
Items would indicate some sort of purpose, which these things certainly lax.
And it is not my duty as king.
It is not among my many duties to be in charge of the elimination of irritating objects.
Okay, I see.
The royal staff has a special steward of thing removal, who was unfortunately absent from the room at that moment.
But in his absence, his duties usually devolve to this special steward for the quieting of ambient hissing sounds.
And I was simply indicating to this person to do his job.
There's a very specific chain of command in the royal household going back a thousand years.
So these are your duties.
Well, that indication chatting with the Prime Minister, of course, the new one.
Met her recently.
Very nice lady.
I forget her name.
Her name is Liz Truss.
Ah, yes, quite.
Rather appropriate name for such a powerfully endowed woman, I dare say.
Is that how you should be talking about your prime freaking minister?
I suppose that's true.
I am a dour, sober 73-year-old monarch now.
No longer a rash, dashing 73-year-old prince, I suppose.
Very large breasts on that woman still.
Can you articulate what is the point of the royal family in the year 2022?
Oh, heavens, dear me.
People would be lost without the monarchy.
Do you really think so?
Oh, absolutely, without question.
People would be wandering aimlessly through the streets and in the countryside, lost, untethered.
The whole nation would be adrift.
Rudderless.
I doubt it.
I'm not British, but I suspect if the monarchy went away tomorrow, life would carry on more or less as it did before.
Aren't you a rude little man?
What an awful thought.
You think you serve a purpose because you have to think that in order you have to think that in order to even exist.
The rest of us know the truth, pal.
My dear boy, we are a symbol, a powerful and ancient one that unites everyone in the Commonwealth.
There's some speculation that you may be the final monarch of Great Britain, that the monarchy is going to be abolished in your lifetime.
Did you know that?
Oh, my.
The last king of England.
I dare say that has a bit of a ring to it.
No one else would ever be able to claim that honor.
Or Will would have to get a job, of course.
But it would finally make me what?
Make you what?
Special.
There would be legitimately something special about me.
I wouldn't be one more useless link in an ancient chain.
Yeah, I suppose so.
I may have to give that some thought.
The idea couldn't come from me, obviously, but I could support it behind the scenes, of course.
Hmm, yes, quite quite, yes, quite.
Thank you, young man, for approaching this intriguing idea to me.
Tuta for now.
Bye, Your Majesty.
Best of luck to you, pal.
Burn in hell, you commoner.
Yeah.
Establishment media sucks All gaslighting, so good luck Bullshit we can't afford Fomenting this Watch and see as a jack-off The median speeds and jumps the medium And hits them head-on It's the chimney tor show.
I want to show you this is a map.
So there's Big Russia, Mother Russia, and here's Belarus, Poland, Lithuania.
This is Ukraine, right?
And so over here is the Donbass.
Is this Crimea?
I don't even know.
But this is the Ukraine, just so you get, right?
And so there's Spain, France, UK, just so you know where it is, Finland.
So just so you know, I mean, because all of a sudden they always show me the close-up, but I'm like, well, where is that exactly on the globe?
That's where it is, okay?
And then down here, there's Italy, right?
Ooh, yeah.
And then, and so right here, this is the Black Sea, and then that's the Azov Sea, isn't it?
Isn't that what that's called?
I don't even know, but I'm pretty sure that's the Black.
So anyway, so there you go.
So there's Russia.
There's Ukraine.
And they're fighting over here.
So here's where they're fighting.
There's Kharkiv.
How do you say Kharkiv?
Is that it?
Kharkiv.
Kharkiv, right?
So they launched a major.
Hang on, I got to get rid of this.
So they launched a major offensive, the Ukrainians, right?
To get Russia, and it's actually working.
So Ukraine forces break through Russia's front lines in the east and retake town, key town, key towns.
Okay.
But look at, so I just want to show you.
Here's the here's a mashup of the headlines I put together.
Britain says Russia has likely ordered troops withdrawn from Kharkiv.
Ukraine inflicts major operational defeat on Russia as its forces retreat.
Russia defenses crumble as Ukraine retakes key territory.
Ukraine makes more gains, pushes back border places.
In Kharkiv, towns liberated by Ukraine rejoice in a Russian retreat.
But then there's this story.
Ukraine's second largest city appears to be without power.
So we're going to get to that.
They were rejoicing too hard.
They were rejoicing too hard.
So here, this is like a gif.
And it's going to show you how on September 7th is when they started this offensive.
And so here's how it started on September 7th and 8th.
They started here.
And then it kept going.
And then on September 9th, you see how it spread?
September 10th, it spread.
And then September 11th, which was yesterday, this is the Ukraine forces taking back over the areas that Russia had captured.
And then that was it.
So, and can you imagine how much better Ukraine would be doing, Kurt, if 70% of the weapons we sent hadn't vanished in this thin air?
Look how great they did with only 30% of the stuff we sent them.
Isn't that imagine?
So here's, I mean, and they were saying this was a big waste of lives and money, huh?
Jackson?
I mean, look at that.
Look at look.
They advanced a whole sliver of territory.
Isn't that fantastic?
What does the pink mean?
So the pink is where they're taking over.
That's where Ukraine's taking back over.
Oh, I see.
But, and it only costs about $100 billion.
And most of Europe will freeze this winter.
What a bargain.
But we had to do it.
What a bargain.
We had to do it to protect Europe.
We had to do it to protect Europe.
So here's how ABC News is reporting this.
Oh, I don't have my thing.
That's what she said.
Okay, here we go.
Be a major turning point in the Ukraine war.
A major turning point in the Ukraine war.
Ukrainian forces retook significant territory from retreating Russian forces in Ukraine's east this weekend.
And Russia now retaliating with new attacks on critical infrastructure and power grids.
Tom Sufi Burge is on the scene in Ukraine.
Good morning, Tom.
Yeah, good morning, George.
That lightning advance by Ukrainian forces in the northeast has continued.
Overnight troops also now pushing right up to the border with Russia.
And this morning, a stunning admission from Moscow that it has lost almost the entire Kharkiv region in a matter of days.
This morning, Ukrainian forces marking massive victories in the northeast.
Their troops now controlling the strategic military hub of Izium, which was occupied by Russian forces for months.
Now, videos circulating online show abandoned Russian tanks and military equipment littering the area.
Ukrainian soldiers raising their flag once again over the city.
It's a massive blow for Putin.
And across a large swathe of territory, troops liberating dozens of towns and villages in video released by the Ukrainian military.
I think it's interesting that he says huge swathes instead of swaths.
I just wanted to point that out.
Okay.
And the emotional civilization.
That's a weird way to put it.
civilians greeting and embracing Ukrainian troops.
Oh look, they're making it up.
In this map here, you can see the amount of ground Ukrainian forces have retaken in blue near the city of Kharkiv.
Officials say they have reclaimed more than a thousand square miles.
President Zelensky praising his soldiers.
Saying everyone sees and notes your actions in the north, south, and east of Ukraine.
The world is impressed.
The enemy is panicking.
Ukraine is proud.
The Russian military retaliating with Russian missiles striking power stations and other civilian infrastructure throughout Ukraine.
Backing Ukraine's military and key to its success, a vast army of volunteers here making them clothing and kits.
Mechanics turning civilian cars into military vehicles.
And these volunteers making plastic artillery pieces from a distance.
They're realistic replicas, decoys to dupe the Russians.
Well, secrets out now.
Where did that money?
Why are they MacGyvering weapons?
We send them all that money.
Right?
Making progress in the south and on the offensive in the eastern Donbass.
The Ukrainians are a roll, and there is no doubt that U.S. weaponry and intel have made this possible.
So he, so Jabby bringing Jackson, he said the eastern Donbass, they're even rolling into there.
So tell me what's really happening here.
So let me put this up.
So the situation on the ground is obviously not how those on MSNBC or CNN or Good Morning America are painting it.
What really happened is there are four staging operations of offensives that Ukraine is currently launching.
There's one in the Kherson region that failed miserably in Ukraine, sadly, because I don't think we want to see anyone die.
Lost thousands of troops in that.
There is also an operation underway in the Laman region, which is south of Kharkiv, and that is failing as well.
And there is another operation that's about to be underway that would be targeting Mariupol eventually.
The only one that has succeeded thus far is the Kharkov offensive, which is what we're discussing right now.
And basically, what we saw in Kharkiv was over the past several Months, the Russians had little to no reinforcements and Russian military personnel in the region.
They had tried for quite some time to move out of this region and closer to Slavyansk, which would have given them a more beneficial positioning in the region, but they kept getting bogged down.
So the Russians had pulled just about all of their personnel out of the region.
There was just National Guardsmen, policemen, and a frontline picket of Lugansk National Lugansk People's Republic fighters.
But overall, the Russians had pulled out pretty much all their troops.
And when we saw the Ukrainians opt to stop their Herson offensive at the direction of the commander's Illushny in Ukraine and send all of their personnel to Kharkiv, Russia decided to withdraw all their personnel from the Kharkiv region and ISIM, which is directly to the south of Kharkiv.
Now, in that video, they said that ISIM is a strategic military hub of the Russians.
That's not true at all.
It was not a strategic military hub.
This was a region that they were keeping the lights on, essentially, in, but it's not strategically very important for the Russians.
So they decided to pull out.
And the Russians were able to get all of their military equipment out, all of their artillery and tanks out, though there's fake videos online circulating that tried to dispel that fact that they were able to get all their stuff out.
And that begs the question: if they were able to get all of their artillery tanks and personnel out of the region without any haste or quick withdrawal efforts that left some things behind, then we have to assume that this was somewhat of a pre-planned operation.
Obviously, sending 20,000 troops there caused the Russians to act quickly and decisively.
But there was negotiations going on inside the Russian military that sources are now claiming were planning a withdrawal from this region, regardless of whether or not Ukraine launched an offensive there.
So obviously, this is not good for Russia.
They lost territory.
They lost 2,000 square kilometers, but it makes up about 1/40th of all of the territory that Russia has gained throughout the war in Ukraine.
Not to mention, the Ukrainians lost thousands of troops.
They lost multiple brigades, which isn't the biggest problem for them because they kind of have an endless supply of men that they can send to the front lines, but they're losing their top fighting forces.
The real problem here for Ukraine is though this is a victory, it is a victory.
They gained territory.
That's objectively a victory.
It's a strategic blunder now because of the fact that Russia pulled out of the entire Kharkiv region.
Ukraine's men are spread extremely thin, meaning that these airstrikes that Russia is now launching in the region are doing quite a bit of damage.
Russia hasn't sent in infantry in the region.
And also, Russia has decided to respond now by what they discussed in there.
We can discuss that more later.
But the massive escalation of beginning to target civilian energy infrastructure, they knocked out about 50 to 60% of their civilian energy infrastructure.
So Russia, they didn't know this was coming, or they don't care that this was coming.
Why was this allowed to happen?
So they knew it was coming, but they made a decision that it was not worth sending more personnel to the fight and potentially losing thousands of men in the fight to protect this region.
And obviously, that should be very frustrating to anyone who's watched this war because we all know what has happened when Ukrainians retake territory that was withdrawn by the Russians.
There are reprisals that are going to take place.
They start killing people.
Is this also set up a thing?
I mean, you're talking about strategically, like, isn't it like part of the strategy is to advertise back here?
Look at we just had a big success.
So it's worth it to keep it.
Yeah, this is that.
I think that's what this is.
Like, that's their strategy.
I mean, is that a bad strategy from their end to be like, you know, it's a whatever kind of victory?
Like, see, because the guy goes, he actually almost credited American weapons with retaking it.
Right.
You know?
Well, the New York Times did explicitly.
They said that the intelligence sharing that took place at an increased volume right before the Kharkiv offensive was what led to the success in the region.
They should do a vogue spread of missiles.
They should.
All right.
So overall, it doesn't impact the outcome of the war.
That's the final point.
So they retook a sliver of thing, and the American press is kind of blowing it up.
And so, I mean, you should hear that they were talking about on the Sunday shows.
And this is the, well, they said, turning point.
Is this a turning point in the war, Jackson?
No, it is not.
I heard them saying, now, then I saw the smarter, like your Peter Zahines or whatever, who were like, yeah, this is really great, but I'd hold off just in, like, like the smarter people I could see were like, don't jump to conclusions yet, even though this is great if, you know, you're rooting for this like it's a soccer game.
Yeah, and I don't think we should necessarily jump to conclusions either.
Anything could happen in war.
War is full of surprises.
And there are other offensives that are being planned.
I think Russia's probably prepared, but anything could happen.
Okay.
So anything we should add to this story, or is that it?
So this big offensive, and you're hearing about it in the establishment press, and they're making it look like Russia's on the run.
And Russia's not is not going to lose this war.
They're not on the run.
And now they're taking out their civilian energy structure.
I don't know why they didn't do this before, but they're doing it now.
Why do you think they waited to start hitting their energy grid?
Yeah, that's actually probably the biggest development of all.
That's getting no recognition because the Russians, like you said, aren't on the run.
They created very strong borders along the Osko River and the Sversky-Donetsk River and the Russian border around Kharkiv.
So they've contained that.
But the big issue now is the fact that Russia has not only knocked out about 50% of the Ukrainian electrical grid, they also turned off the last reactor on the Zaporozhye nuclear power plant, which provided Ukraine with about 60% of their electricity.
Going into winter, that's going to be crisis-level scenario for them.
And Europe was actually relying on Ukraine, of all countries, to provide them with electricity because Ukraine was going to have an energy surplus this winter.
So now Ukraine is trying to retake over the Zaporozhye nuclear power plant.
And because Russia is now meddling in the civilian energy infrastructure, something they hadn't done until now, they kind of did it the opposite way that the United States engages in war.
There is talk from Russian military sources that what they just did in targeting the civilian infrastructure is supposed to be a display for further negotiations in the Ministry of Defense in Russia, meaning that it's possible that they changed the official title of the special military operation because this title and the legal parameters of it prevent Russia from targeting civilian infrastructure over and over again.
So, what they're saying is Russia might take this SMO to another level and normalize the targeting of the civilian energy infrastructure.
And this first targeting that we saw, and we actually saw double taps on the energy infrastructure just a few hours ago after some of it had been repaired, is going to serve as an indicator for the Russian military as to whether or not they are seeing enough ramifications of this to merit the continuation of it.
Because this is the only thing Ukraine's really got going for them, other than Western supply, is that they still have their energy and they still have a lot of their supply routes.
When you shut off the energy, not only does that impact all of their communications and civilian life, but also it shuts down all their electric trains.
Oh, look at that.
Electric trains.
I didn't know they had electric trains.
Look at that.
All right.
Well, ignore what you're going to hear in the establishment press about how Russia's on the run and how this is a turning point.
This sounds like a thing to go, okay, we'll keep pouring money in.
And yeah, you're freezing, but we're so close.
We're so close.
We're going to do it.
We're going to turn this around.
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So you remember, see, I've showed you this before: Joe Biden admitting that Joe Service in the Senate up in the point has not reflected any particular concern for the charges and tribute, though.
Well, the fortunate thing is, I didn't have many larger contributors.
And the only reason, see, I went to the big guys for the money.
I was ready to prostitute myself in the manner in which I talked about it.
But what happened was they said, come back when you're 40, son.
And so I had to go out.
And guess what?
He did.
He's now 79.
He's been getting big cash for the last 39 years.
I had to do the real sick shit nobody would do to get there.
And look at that crowd of assholes chuckling at the whore.
Isn't it eerie?
They're all laughing.
They cut to them.
You see them in the video.
These bow tie weirdos.
Oh, he wanted to be a whore, but they wouldn't give him the money.
I know that feeling.
Oh, boy.
I said, come on, let me suck your dicks.
I'm ready.
And they said, sorry, kid.
We're into dilfs.
What are dilfs?
Like a MILF?
Dads I'd like to fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
Look at these fucking people.
Look at the bow tie kid.
Oh, who'd he grow up to be?
Wow.
Probably works in a think tank coming up with new.
Look at this.
You know, this is the guy who's getting late.
Yeah.
That guy there.
That guy with the mustache.
He's making it happen.
This guy's selling cars or copiers.
He's selling copiers.
It looks like he has like Max Boothead.
I bet he works in a some kind of thing.
So I'm getting caught up.
So there's Joe Biden.
Biden actually complained in 1974 that big donors are able to decide who can and cannot run for office.
How long is the American public going to put up with a small group of men and organized and organizations determining the political process by deciding who can run and who can't run?
Forever?
The answer would be how long?
Forever.
Because now you're the head of that stupid system.
And why do I bring it up?
Because the DNC, they've been telling them to get rid of the dark money.
This is from September 2nd.
Now is the time for Democrats to ban dark money from primaries.
Uh-oh, September 6th.
Opinion, it's time for Democrats to act on dark money ban in primaries.
Uh-oh, let the DNC know Democrats must ban dark money from the primaries.
That's September 7th.
And abhorrent and anti-democratic outrage as DNC panel blocks vote on dark money ban.
No.
You Ha ha ha ha.
Thank you.
Wow.
The Democratic Party, by not allowing this resolution to come to the floor, is complicit in the railroading of democracy itself.
You know who said that?
Former Ohio State Senator Nina Turner, who is a botafied Democrat.
You're going to leave the party?
No.
You're going to stop voting for Joe Biden and the people who just did this?
No.
She'll block you.
She'll block me.
She'll act like I'm she didn't block Joe Biden.
She blocked me.
A Democratic National Committee panel on Thursday refused to allow a vote on a resolution aimed at banning dark money from the party's primary process, a decision that sparked outrage from progressive DNC members and others who backed the proposal.
So if you're a naive Democratic legislator who wants this to stop, do the other Democrats sometimes come up to you with an actual trombone so they can virtually play the wah in your face and laugh at you.
That's what they do to Nina Turner.
That's what they do.
Hey, Nina.
I have like the plunger in the end of it.
Here she is, former Ohio State Senator Nina Turner, a DNC member who faced an onslaught of dark money during her recent campaigns for the U.S. House seat.
She told Common Dreams that it, quote, it really is a sad state of affairs for the DNC resolutions committee to not even bring this to the floor so that we members on the DNC can it is a sad state and what are you gonna do about it nothing she went on to add what are you gonna do she went on to add I guess we're just gonna take it again but that's the job that's this should be judged through the lens of right and
wrong said Turner it's a wrong to allow dark money to enter the primary in any state in any race when it does it suffocates the will of the people in those districts but I'm gonna keep going along with this party it should be I should have a full-headed Jackson Hinkle hairs why a lot of stuff should happen a lot of stuff should happen let's take my district this is her talking still do you think the dark money that came in after me cares That Cleveland is the poorest city of its size in the nation.
Do they care that 50% of the children who live in Cleveland live in poverty?
No, they don't give a damn.
Hey, Nina, you know who else doesn't give a damn?
Joe Biden and your beloved Democratic Party.
Why would anyone leave the church that molested him?
So James Ogsby tweets this out.
James Dogby's a big shot in Democratic politics and stuff.
He says DNC Resolutions Committee didn't pass our Cowell call for a ban on dark money in the Democratic primaries.
They didn't even allow a vote on it.
I'm furious, and all Democrats should be too, but he's not going to do a fucking thing about it.
Why is he furious?
You didn't expect this?
You didn't expect them to do that.
You didn't see this coming.
I'm not saying it's James Ogby's fault.
I'm saying that he's going to just take it and he's going to keep voting Democrat and pretending that.
Can you imagine how disillusioned Ben Gleib would have been if he pertained to this?
You imagine if he found out the last time party leaders did this was on my February 2003 resolution to oppose the Iraq war.
Wrong then, wrong now.
So why do you stay with this fucking party?
So then here's Nina Turner.
She says, wrong as hell.
And then below it, expected, though, and when are you leaving or will you continue to accept this abuse?
She's going to continue to accept this abuse.
Is she going to give up her whole career?
She's not going to give up her career for fucking people.
So that got 50 likes.
She got ratioed, right?
103 likes.
This guy, the constituent with a rose, ratioed her.
Nice going constituent with a rose.
Led by Nevada Democratic Party chair Judith Whitmer, the resolution would have prohibited dark money funding during any and all Democratic primary elections and established procedures for the investigation of dark money used by candidate committee as well as possible disciplinary action.
So what is dark money?
Dark money is we don't know where the fucking money came from and you can't trace it.
If they did prohibit it, you know, as soon as everybody started paying attention to, I don't know, who's getting slapped at the Oscars this week, they would have quietly got rid of it anyway.
So there's no reason to be mad.
Supporters of the ban cited the torrent of dark money that poured into Democratic primary races across the country this year in an effort to defeat progressive candidates and bolster powerful incumbents.
A strategy that, in a number of high-profile cases, succeeded.
Yeah, I don't know why progressives stay in this goddamn party.
Start your own party.
If you get 10% of the polling vote nationally, you now are the kingmaker.
You can now control things.
And you know, the sad thing, they didn't even go to all that trouble because all these progressives are pussies that have no guts to do anything.
They got none.
There's no bigger bunch of fucking gutless, ballist wonders than progressive politicians.
Yeah.
Joseph, so this guy's name is Javarahisi, Javar Hisi.
Joseph Javar Heese, he's the executive director of Our Revolution.
That's that group that Bernie started.
And I don't even know how they could have the revolution in their name.
They're fucking go-along get-along.
They're establishment prop-ups.
That's all they are.
Our revolution is a bullshit organization.
I hope they at least strongly condemn jokes from time to time.
They're strongly condemning this.
They called the DNC's panel's decision to block a vote on Whitmer's resolution abhorrent and anti-democratic.
Still not as bad as MAGA Republicans.
Still not as bad as MAGA Republicans, though, right?
Democrats can't be the party of democracy in one breath and then let an astronomical sum of money from Republican mega donors and corporate interests flood Democratic primaries.
Yes, they can.
They're fucking doing it right now in your face.
They're doing it right now in your face.
Of course they can do that.
You know why?
Because you, Nina Turner, and all the other progressive politicians are going to let them do it.
That's why.
You're not going to call for people to withhold your vote from the Democrats or your money.
You know what you are going to do?
You're going to ask me to send you money because of it.
What's Jamila PayPal going to do?
So they want you to send money.
Our revolution wants you to send them money for what?
Can you pitch in right now to fund a barrage of phone calls to the DNC chair?
What?
You think the DNC chair who does the bidding of corporate America because that's why he was put there, you think that guy's going to go, well, I'll do the bidding of corporate America and my donors unless I get a lot of phone calls from regular people.
You don't think he has caller ID?
What with all that dark money?
You don't think he took some of that dark money and funded a caller ID?
This is what they want you to do.
They're professional fundraising organizations.
How much does it cost to make a bunch of phone calls, by the way, that you even need to chip in?
Don't you got a phone?
Please chip in.
And here's Dems can't be the party of democracy in one breath.
This is it.
Yes, they are.
Can you chip in ASAP so we can send as many calls as possible?
Fuck you.
How about you actually do something that scares the Democratic Party?
How about you actually do something?
Anybody that sends money to these assholes better never look down on the chumps that go to faith healers.
No kidding.
Revival tents and the little old ladies that just shovel their money for prosperity.
I mean, it's like prosperity gossip.
But you see it, buddy.
We make phone calls.
We barrage Jesus with calls and then you'll get it back.
The Democratic Party's 2020 platform includes an explicit rebuke of dark money.
Dark money, you get out of here.
And I'm sorry to wave my finger, but I have to do it.
The platform, the Democrats' own freaking platform says they will bring an end to dark money by requiring full disclosure of contributors to any group that advocates for or against candidates and bar 501c4 organizations from spending money on elections.
Except if it's except Trump Trump's Trump.
So this is the Democrats' own platform, the party.
This is what they pretend to care about.
This is called propaganda.
They don't believe in this.
They do the exact opposite.
They are worse than Republicans when it comes to dark money.
Jimmy, you mean they're not a little tintsy-beatsy whit bit better?
No, they're actually worse.
Dark money should have no role in deciding elections.
That's what these fuckers are saying.
Shortly before refusing to allow a vote on proposed dark money ban, the resolutions committee approved a separate toothless measure that condemns the use of dark money that runs contrary to the values and principles of donors.
What?
The donors don't like this is what they're saying?
If you're wondering, this is Ryan Knight tweets out.
If you're wondering why the Democratic National Committee just refused to ban dark money, well, it's because Democrats took even more of it than Republicans in 2020.
Remember this, the next time Democrats give their speech about saving democracy.
There is no democracy in the United States.
Both parties serve their corporate oligarchy.
Democrats dominate 2020 dark money.
Look at that.
I just watched some story talking about how the Republicans just got all this dark money, and I had no idea about this.
Look at this.
They got $500 million in dark money.
Republicans got a little over $200 million.
Do you know what I realize when people say, no, they are worse than the Democrats?
So the same reason I would consider the Democrats worse, which is having a smile and saying a nice thing and stabbing you in the back.
Yes.
These people admire that.
They actually look down on these like awful, gross people that like say the things they're going to do and do that.
And do them.
They're like, why would you do that?
So if you think that the Democratic Party, like our friend Ben Galieb said, is better than the Republican Party.
I think you're just not informed and you're not, you don't know about this.
And you don't know that the Democrats are in complete control of government right now and they're denying you health care.
They're exploding the military budget.
They're starting proxy wars all over the world.
They're the one who's denying everybody.
So Republicans should win, I guess.
Here, let me be all the moronic.
You have to be in our paradigm no matter what.
The Democratic Party is the Republican Party.
And they're not even going after workers' votes anymore.
Here's Chuck Schumer from 2016.
For every blue-collar Democrat we will lose in Western PA, we will pick up two, three moderate Republicans in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
And you can repeat that in Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin.
So they're literally that's the head of the Democratic Senate Party.
That's him telling you that we are going after Republican voters to get elected.
They're not a Democratic Party.
They just admit it.
They're not even going after Democratic voters.
They're going after white-collar Republican voters.
We have two right-wing corporate conservative fucking pro-war, pro-Wall Street parties.
And they dangle shit like bullshit Black Lives Matter to get you to vote for them or abortion, which is also bullshit because they are the ones who won't codify it into law.
So they can run on it because they know this.
They know they are Republicans.
That's not hyperbole or hyperbola.
Hey, don't forget, funding MAGA candidates on purpose to run against them.
Funding MAGA candidates.
That's how bad the Democrats are.
Which is not a conspiracy.
It's open.
And if you think that they're not Republicans, here's the greatest president of my lifetime, Barack Obama.
He's going to tell you why.
You want to know why people voted for Trump?
Because he governed like a Republican and their lives got worse.
Watch this.
Believe that.
The truth of the matter is, is that my policies are so mainstream that, you know, if I had said the same policies that I have back in the 1980s, I'd be considered a moderate Republican.
I mean, you know, what I believe in is there he is saying, I'm not a socialist.
My policies would be considered moderate Republican if it was in the 80s.
I remember that at the time.
And so now the country has shifted to the right.
So now we're moderate Republican in 1980 seems like a left lefty in 2020.
Do you see what happened?
And now a lefty issue.
So now him trying to give a right-wing corporate giveaway health care plan is considered lefty.
That's the right wing, what he did.
His bailout of the banks, right-wing, when he kicked the 5.1 million families out of their house.
His immigration policy, right-wing.
His policy on Dapple, right-wing.
We're going to let it play out.
His policy on an environment, right-wing.
They did more.
Anyway, I could do this all day long.
And good people get taken in by his pretty face and his sweet way to talk.
I don't know why this is in here, but Major League Baseball is changing the rules.
You can't do a shift anymore.
Did you know that?
I don't know anything about baseball.
Yeah.
You shouldn't, Kurt, because baseball is the most boring sport in the fucking world.
And the fact that they got me interested in it as a kid just goes to show you how propaganda and culturalism is not.
It's a place to drink as a family.
Yeah.
I mean, I go.
Larry Miller used to do a great joke about it.
He goes, I love the opera.
It's where I get some of my best sleep.
I couldn't.
He goes, if it's not that, it's a baseball game.
I'm like, yes.
So you remember when Bill Gates said this when he finally figured out this about COVID?
At that point, we didn't really understand the fatality rate.
We didn't understand that it's a fairly low fatality rate and that it's a disease mainly of the elderly, kind of like fluids, although a bit different.
So that's what he's saying about COVID.
I don't know if you know what he just said.
I'll play it again.
At that point, we didn't really understand the fatality rate.
We didn't understand that it's a fairly low fatality rate and that it's a disease mainly of the elderly, kind of like fluids, although we wanted lockdowns and money.
Yeah, but we knew we wanted lockdowns that would crush small businesses and transfer wealth upwards.
And then we needed to get the CARES Act to transfer $5 trillion.
So you know what I'm doing?
And we had to get a couple of hundred million dollars into the stockholders of the big pharma.
And then I can talk like this.
Then I can talk like this.
I'm just a simple farmer.
He's just a simple farmer.
You should chew a piece of straw while he talks about this.
So now the reason why I'm showing you that is because they're still pushing boosters, even though according to Bill Gates, it has a low fatality rate and it's a disease mainly of the elderly.
Fauci, the effects.
So they ask him about this new booster.
So they have a bivalent booster, right?
So it's going to, the booster is going to go after BA4, 5, and the regular strain.
Is that what the bivalent means?
It's going after.
Means it has two valents.
Look up, look up what's in the bivalent vaccine, please.
So the first one was going after B1, which is Omicron B1, but nobody, now everyone's getting B5.
So the new booster or the new vaccine is targeting that.
But what else is as a target?
It targets.
So here's what he says.
A bivalent COVID-19 vaccines targeted the original COVID-19 strain, as we know.
Oh, so that's what it does?
It targets the original and BA5.
The new bivalent vaccine provides protection against both the original strain and the new Omicron B4 B5 variant.
So that's what it does.
So it goes out.
Why would you be targeting the original strain?
Someone needs to explain that to me.
I don't understand if we're all getting beef.
Well, is it because they've got it laying around and we got to hey, put some Tylenol in it too.
Why not put a little Tylenol?
Hey, what's an APAP?
Put something in that for my allergies, too, while you're at it.
Something that clears up my nose.
Can you put that in there?
Why are you if you got it?
So they asked him about, so that's what the bivalent is.
So they ask him if it's been studied on people, right?
Have you done any trials on this new dated vaccine that serves as a boost, as it were, and it's directed against the dominant circulating strain that's in society?
You have every reason to believe that that is going to be better than having a vaccine that isn't highly specific to the circulating strain.
So he's saying this is going to be great because it's targeting the thing that's actually in circulation right now.
So that's going to be great.
That's what he's saying.
It hasn't been proven in a clinical trial because we don't have time to do a clinical trial.
Oh.
Oh, just do it on me.
So just, yeah, just why don't we just have humans?
We'll just test it on your kids.
Just keep testing it on.
So he just said there hasn't been a clinical trial.
There has been no human trials on this.
And they've only did it to animals and they only have animal data.
And they're not going to fucking let you see it.
Jimmy, of course, there's no time.
We don't want to have to have the CEO of Pfizer throw out 3 million vials again.
That's right.
I thought he said 30 million.
Maybe, yeah, some crazy number.
But they did test it on eight mice.
So we already covered this.
So why am I telling you all this?
And by the way, the guy who's the head of FDA advisor and the director of the vaccine education center at the Children's Hospital in Philadelphia, he said, I'm uncomfortable that we would move forward, that we would give millions of tens of millions of doses to people based on mouse data.
That's what the guy in charge of the vaccine thing and the FDA advisor said.
And then he went on to say, this guy contends that flu shots and COVID shots cannot be compared when considering the safety of slight modifications without human testing because of the different mutations and protection levels.
So the guy who's the head of the vaccine department at the Philadelphia Children.
I had an FDA, he's saying not, he's not cool with this.
That there's no testing.
He said he's not cool with it.
Here is the head of the CDC.
We've seen her before.
And every time she talks, she sounds like a used car salesman who's lying.
You know why?
Because she's lying a lot.
Updated COVID-19 vaccines are now available.
So here's what she says.
She's got this new thing out.
Watch this.
Thank you for joining today's director debrief.
Updated COVID-19 vaccines are now available to every American age 12 and older who has received their primary series.
CDC now recommends Pfizer BioNTech's updated COVID-19 vaccines for people ages 12 and older, and Moderna's updated COVID-19 vaccines for people ages 18 and older.
Half of the updated vaccine formula targets the original SARS-CoV-2 strain, and the other half of that vaccine targets BA4 and BA5 Omicron variants.
Right now, as 99% of circulating viruses in the United States are BA5 and BA4, updating these vaccines to match the circulating variants helps us to be better protected against these variants and future variants.
Data from studies on over 1,700 people who received a bivalent COVID-19 vaccine demonstrated an increased immune response and broad protection against known variants.
Mice are people?
So it sounded like she just said they tested this on 1,700 people.
But Fauci just said there were no clinical trials.
I'm getting mixed messages.
So is Congressman Massey.
He said she cites a human study for bivalent vaccines, but neglects to mention that those studies weren't for the boosters she's pushing in the video.
Did she mean just bivalent vaccines in general?
The concept and not the actual one they're pushing.
No, she meant bivalent, the original B1 Omicron that it was targeting.
They did test that on people, but this new one, they didn't.
And the FDA advisor and the head of the vaccine department at the children's hospital in Philadelphia says he's not comfortable with that.
She pretends they did.
She's doing a switcheroo in that video.
She's real comfortable.
She got a nice vacation tan on top of it for how, I mean, that's a real comfort.
Yeah.
Got plenty of vitamin D. Listen, I'm sure they'll be fine.
I'm sure it'll be safe.
I get that, you know, peanuts and shellfish aren't safe for 7 billion people, but I'm sure this will be completely safe for everyone.
You know, I wonder if PolitiFact is going to fact-check her.
I wonder, right?
I wonder if factcheck.org is going to do a fact-check on her and say that she lied.
No, they're not going to.
Why?
Because those, as those fact-check places, A, aren't fact-check places, and B, they're funded by the people that we debunk.
They're funded by billionaires and oligarchs, people like George Soros, people like Bill Gates.
Those are the ones who are funding those fucking places.
And so they're never going to fact-check her, but they will pretend and do bogus fact-checks on guys like Dr. John Campbell, do bogus fact checks on people like me all day long.
And they're not fact-checked.
Big skeptic.
We got to take them.
Yeah.
So I don't know why that, that's misinformation.
That's straight up misinformation.
And that's not going to get taken down or flagged by Twitter or YouTube.
Woody says, does she head the sales department for Pfizer now or still working for the CDC?
It's one job.
That is one job.
That's the same job.
Woody.
Woody.
By the way, the potential myocyartis risk for the bivalent booster dose unknown.
Wow.
There's no time.
Known.
There's no time.
There's no time.
We got to get it out because Omicron is so devastating.
It's an emergency.
By the way, the reason why you get emergency use authorization is because there's no other treatments.
But I thought, and someone should correct me on this, I thought that monoclonal antibodies were an effective treatment that was effective 80 up to 80% of the time.
They never talk about those anymore.
And they said, well, they had three different, I think they said they had three different monoclonal antibodies that You could get, but two of the three didn't work for Omicron.
Well, one does.
Well, that means one does.
Why do I care if I get Omicron?
Again, I don't understand.
Everybody I know even has had Omicron.
Even someone who's not people I know who aren't vaccine Grinches like Jimmy, they know Omicron.
And it's because Jimmy's heart's two sizes too small, and that's why he needs a booster to get it.
That's right.
The love of Christmas to swell it up.
They all know Omicron's not deadly.
So who is this for?
So they're now referring, by the way, they're now referring to, you know, how when we got your first double dose, they're referring to that as your primary series.
Oh, it's like a coat of paint.
It's like your primary primer.
Yeah.
This is your primer.
You know, when I went in to get my vaccine for COVID, I was told, A, that if I didn't get it, I would be, I would probably get sick and die.
And then I would spread it to everybody.
And I wasn't told that this was my primary series of vaccines.
And I was going to have to keep doing this for the rest of my goddamn life.
I was not told that.
I was told that this was a vac scene.
And that if I got the vaccine, I wasn't going to get COVID and I wasn't going to spread it.
That's what I was told.
Stops at cold.
That's what we were told.
I wasn't told it was my primary series of doses of this fucking vaccine.
That's not what I was told.
They didn't go, hey, go get your, go get started.
Go get your primary series of vaccines for COVID.
Get ready to begin a wonderful journey of a lifelong journey.
Who's still getting them?
Like, I, you tell me.
We live in LA.
I don't ever have to show my vax card or anything.
The only people I've seen getting it are: I follow some people from the Democratic Party of Orange County, and they're proudly going and taking Instagram photos of them getting their jabs.
I've seen those.
I've seen them.
Who's actually still getting it?
Like, other than them?
Oh, I went to Laugh Factory on Friday, you know?
So the crowd's probably more.
It's like, I'd say more brown than white.
Because I always ask people who got three shots, who got like three shots in COVID more than twice, just because I'm curious.
So only white people raise their hands.
That's what I love.
God bless black people.
They ignored the whole thing.
Yeah, you just make a card, man.
So here's what they're showing now at the CDC.
Current recommendations.
Dose one, primary, dose two, primary, dose three, that's your booster.
And then what's dose four?
My breakthrough dose?
Or if you're 50 or older, you got to get another one.
And also, if you were obese, you had to get three out of the gate, remember?
I don't remember that.
Four boosters.
Obese people need three helpings of vaccine.
So here's what they say to do with kids.
Future recommendations.
People, five years, you get your primary dose, you get all primed up, and then you get a biovalent booster.
That's what they want you to do now.
And right here, it says, regardless of previous booster dose given, you still do this.
Oh, God.
I want to ask my sister if she's doing my nieces, but I'm afraid to know, so I don't.
It's her kids, but Jesus Christ.
Remember what Fauci used to say?
Because we've all had COVID.
This is what Fauci used to say.
But she's had the flu for 14 days.
Should she get a flu shot?
Well, no, if she got the flu for 14 days, she's as protected as anybody can be because the best vaccination is to get infected yourself.
And if she really has the flu, if she really has the flu, she definitely doesn't need a flu vaccine.
If she really has the flu.
She should not be getting in the middle.
She doesn't have one.
I don't get any residuals off of that one.
So no, you know, the immunity will be fine.
But she's had the flu for 14 days.
Should she get a flu shot?
No.
Okay.
Remember, that's what he used to say.
Jackson, did you get your booster?
No, but seeing that, you know, that statistic about they don't know what the risk of myocarditis is, I guess, you know, it's making me change my mind.
You definitely can't have a high risk of myocarditis if you don't know what the risk is at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Well, go look at our other videos about the risk of myocarditis to males under 40 from Moderna.
That Moderna risk was shocking compared to shocking.
I mean, I got Pfizer.
Thank God.
I got Moderna.
So.
*Bell rings*
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jeremy is president Joe Biden.
Ah, Mr. President, what are you up to?
Jimmy's here making a special announcement that will affect the lives of millions of Americans.
Oh, yeah.
Are you going to relieve even more student loan debt than you previously promised?
No, don't be silly.
That's impossible.
Jimmy, I'm going to stop cancer.
What?
Cancer moonshot.
Come again.
Cancer moonshot.
What the hell about that do you not understand, Bert Brain?
I'm sorry.
You're going to have to explain this to me, pal.
God damn it.
I want to try and have cancer deaths by 2047.
Cut them in half.
I'm challenging America.
Just like John Kennedy challenged America in 1962 to go to the moon, which we did.
He made that speech at Rice University in Houston.
And I'm making my cancer speech today at the JFK Library Boston as an homage to his challenge.
And to summarize all this, we've been using the phrase cancer moonshot.
And I don't fucking understand why people don't know what we're getting at here.
Okay, I understand now.
But I'm not sure I would have pieced all that together by you just yelling cancer moonshot at me.
Well, fuck me then.
This sounds rather ambitious, Mr. President.
Thank you.
It needs to be done.
After my beloved son Bo passed away in 2015, I said, all right, enough of this shit.
See?
After your son died, you said enough of this shit.
Enough.
With cancer.
Yeah, I see.
You're done with.
And what is your plan of attacker exactly on cancer?
What do you mean?
I don't understand.
I skip there and talk.
No, no, no.
I don't mean the speech you're going to give.
I mean, how are you going to cut cancer rates in half?
Oh, yeah, yeah, right.
One, cancer research.
Partner with the biopharmaceutical companies.
Give them millions of government funding.
Two, try to stop preventable cancers by urging lifestyle changes.
No smoking, et cetera.
Three, earlier screenings.
The sooner the better, they always say.
Well, that ought to do it.
Right, that's what I'm thinking.
Really nit this cancer thing in the butt.
I see a slight problem here.
All right, Here we go.
I'm sure treatment for cancer can be improved, moonshotted, if you will, but how will ordinary people afford it?
As it is now, people go bankrupt from cancer diagnosis or they just die.
Does your plan address that?
No.
No.
And it's not just cancer.
People are dying because they have to ration insulin.
And there are just these are just a few examples.
The whole system is broken.
Your plan would only help rich people who have cancer.
Now, hold on a minute.
Hold on.
I'm not doing health care.
We already did that.
Excuse me?
Back in Obama, Obama days, we passed the Affordable Care Act.
It was a big fucking deal, remember?
Everyone has health care now.
No, no, they don't.
The Affordable Care Act made almost everything worse for most people.
It was a giant gift to the insurance companies.
Well, that's just your opinion.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it would be great if they developed some super sort of laser that destroyed all cancers instantly or whatever, but regular people simply wouldn't be able to afford it.
And that's how this shitty system works.
Hold on, tell me more about this laser.
No, tell me.
It's a hypothetical, Mr. President.
Ah, shit.
It's not that medical science is subpar in this country.
It's that people can't afford it.
Okay, Jimmy, I see your point, but there's nothing I can do about it.
Yes, yes, there is.
There's nothing I can do about that either.
But think about this.
Yes, working-class Americans may not be able to afford new, super-advanced cancer treatments, hypothetical lasers and whatnot.
But wouldn't it provide some measure of comfort to know, even if they do have cancer, that that treatment exists, even if it isn't available to them.
That rich people with cancer are able to receive this treatment.
And that someday, if their family works hard and hoped, some later generation of their family could be treated for cancer by virtue of their hard-working can-do American spirit.
No, I don't think that would be a comfort to anyone.
Well, goddammit, that's all I have to offer.
There really is just no pleasing some people.
Yeah, mark me as very not pleased.
You know what?
Not everyone thinks about everything so much.
Most people don't.
I'm going to give a speech at the JFK Library, talk about my dead son.
Say I'm going to stop cancer, and everyone's going to love it.
And I will have been a good president for that day.
And I will sleep soundly.
Job well done.
Well, I hope you're happy with yourself, pal.
I am, Weisenheimer.
I am.
And I hope you don't get cancer, God forbid.
But if you do, I hope you can't afford it so you can think about the position other poor people are in.
Wait, that made no sense.
I know.
Can we edit these calls?
No.
I want that last part taken out.
Who does that?
Misha?
Steph!
*laughter*
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Freak out.
Freak out.
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All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
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