All Episodes
Previous Next
Aug. 26, 2022 - Jimmy Dore Show
58:16
20220826_TJDS_20220826_Podcast_-_82522_12.47_PM
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Hey, we're coming to Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Detroit, Los Angeles, Spokane, Tacoma, Denver.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all our tickets for all our live shows.
See you there.
Beep.
*phone rings*
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, this is Vince Vaughn.
Ah, friend of the show, Vince Vaughan.
How are you, pal?
I'm doing great, Jimmy.
I have a very exciting announcement to make.
Oh, yeah, what's that?
I'm moving to Finland.
Why would you move to Finland?
Finland?
Well, yes, Finland.
I saw the video of the president of Finland skanking around at a party, and I started packing my bags immediately.
Really?
Yes, really.
I'm so mad that we have Joe Biden as president, who can't find his socks, whose last remaining memories are the Spanish-American war.
And looks like if a guy who is already old got buried in the pet cemetery, and these other countries get to have as president her, that woman?
Okay.
And I said if Joe Biden wins, I'm leaving the country.
So now I get to follow through on that for horny reasons.
I didn't actually say that in real life, but for the purposes of the sketch, I did say that, let's say.
Okay, gotcha.
So are you moving to another country because their heads of state are attractive?
Is that just that, Jimmy?
What does it say about their society, their culture?
How free it must be?
If that's how the president parties, what do just regular dumb hot women do?
The mind boggles.
I must say that this is a rather sexist reason to move to another country.
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm just tired of how buttoned up America has become.
You get trouble for everything you say or do.
It's not like that in Scandinavia.
Look at it.
It's just one giant party from the top down, and it's a good party, not one that you would make up an excuse to leave at 9:30 p.m.
Wouldn't you be lonely, though, moving someplace all by yourself where you don't know anybody?
Oh, no, there's a bunch of scorings.
What?
Yeah, it's me and a boatload of my homies.
We charted a plane and everything.
Jesus, what do you even know about Finland?
It has a hot president.
What is her name?
I have absolutely no idea.
Yeah.
But I'm going to assume that I could find that information on Wikipedia or some such other information source on the internet.
What's the capital of Finland?
Stockholm.
No, sorry, that's Sweden.
But close.
Sweden borders Finland to the west.
Wait, you're telling me that Sweden is right next door to Finland?
Sweden, a country that is literally synonymous with hot blonde women?
Oh, bro.
Is that all?
Is that you really are shallow?
Helsinki, by the way.
Bless you.
So what borders Finland to the east?
Pennsylvania?
Whoa.
Russia.
Whoa, fucking what?
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
I mean, you know, they're cool, right?
Like, the whole thing is going to be cool.
I'm sure it will be cool.
Okay, all right, good.
Thank God.
I can't have international tensions mucking up my sojourn into the land of the freest babes on God's Green Earth.
Unless Finland ends up joining NATO like they have applied to.
A move more or less designed to provoke Russia.
I'm sure it would be at least destabilize the Russia-Finnish relations.
It could get a little dicey.
Okay, you know what?
You're not helping right now.
Neither is Finland or its smoking hot president.
Neither is Finland.
Neither is Finland or its smoking hot president.
Yuli Veranitas.
She's doing her best.
But yeah, this may call for a bit of a recalculation here.
We've already put the deposit down on the charter plane, so there's no backing out now.
I see.
Well, you know what?
Okay, this might help actually.
These Finnish broads might feel safer and more protected by having American men over there with that shit going on.
And why is that?
We Americans have been dealing with the Ruskies for years now.
We stood up to them, and we still do.
We could show these ice monkeys how to deal with those scoundrels.
Finland has been dealing with Russia all on its own for centuries now.
I think they might be experts if push comes to shove.
Oh, really?
They think they know better than we do how to deal with Russia?
They think they're better than Americans.
Don't they know that we won the Cold War?
Ronald Reagan, Chuck Dorris, and me.
They may see things differently, Vince.
Yeah, well, they're not allowed to.
You know what?
I'm rethinking things here.
I don't think I can abandon America because it sucks and move to a country where I'm not respected as an American.
I don't think I could do it, Jimmy Dorr.
Yeah, I see some pitfalls there.
Yeah, you know what?
Screw this whole thing.
If Scott Khan and his entourage still want to go, that's fine.
But I'm out.
I'll just get Finnish women to come here for some reason.
You know what?
I never thought I'd say this, but thanks for straightening me out.
Yeah.
You talk so sensitive to me.
You're still a Democrat who sucks.
Emperor of the Liptards, but I will never forget what happened here today, my friend.
God bless you, Jimmy Dore, and God bless the United States of America.
Double V is standing, baby.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Establishment media sets of August fighting.
So good luck.
Watch him see as a jackdog comedian who speeds and jumps comedium and hits him hit on.
It's the Jimmy Door show.
So you remember this guy?
You remember this guy used to be president of the United States?
He won a second term.
Fondly.
I remember him fondly.
This guy won a second term.
Fondly.
Kirby remembers him.
Hey, guys.
I remember a good leader, made tough calls.
A lot of deciding.
So watch this.
And so, in my state of the state of the union or state, my space of the nation, whatever you want to call it.
Space of the nation.
Whatever you want to call it.
Wow.
It's great.
It's like if Joe Biden had the sense to know he screwed up what he just said right then.
No, are these jokes corresponding to this?
I think I might have.
Did I mess this up?
No, I think they do.
Okay.
So here's another great George Bush memory.
There's an old saying in Tennessee.
I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, fool me once.
Shame on.
Shame on you.
Boom, you can't get fooled again.
They should play the whole.
Won't get fooled again.
Is that a little kid?
I just noticed that.
The little kid while he's doing that.
He was like, no, I didn't notice.
There's a little kid in the corner just like listening to him mangle it.
See, there's an old saying in Tennessee.
I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says, Fool me once.
Shame on you.
Fool me.
We can't get fooled.
Even that kid knows.
So here he is.
Harry, one more.
We got an issue in America.
Too many good docs are getting out of business.
Too many OBGYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.
What he's saying is they're not able to grab him by the pussy.
That's what he did.
So they made that guy president.
Now, what they're doing is they gave him a master class.
Oh, he teaches it.
He's not taking a presentation.
No, he's not taking a master class.
No, he's teaching it.
He's teaching a master class, Kurt.
Oh, man.
Isn't that a.
I can't wait for a Joe Biden masterclass.
That'll be the greatest.
He'll pay money.
What can he teach a master class in?
Plike riding.
This is really happening.
This is really happening.
And do you want to know why it's happening?
It's because George Bush hates Donald Trump, and that's what the establishment needs.
And hating Donald Trump washes away every sin you've ever committed.
He's an unbelievable war criminal.
He started a torture program, which exists till this day-a botafied torture program.
And did he get prosecuted?
No.
Did the FBI go through his closets looking for documents?
No.
This guy lied us into an illegal war, killed a million people, and then launched a torture program, an illegal war criming torture program to cover it up.
Did the FBI ever go through his closet?
No.
Well, in the words of the great Joy Behar, get over it.
That's right.
And so I show you this.
I show you these just to show you what they said.
Trump's a moron.
There was no bigger moron than George Bush.
This is what the establishment does.
They can make a demented guy president.
They could make this guy president.
That's the establishment's power because they own the media.
Here's his masterclass commercial, ready.
The chief executive has got to be.
It's a little loud.
Bring it down a little bit.
The chief executive has got to be bold within reason and daring in application.
I recognize very few people.
Bold within reason.
Then it's not bold if it's reasonable.
It's only bold if you go beyond what people think is reasonable and it pays off.
If it's bold within reason, that's just reasonable.
That's not bold.
You know what?
You should have done that one instead of what you did.
How about do that?
Yeah.
How about you do bold within reason?
As opposed to what you did was launch a major war criming, illegal war that killed a million people.
Is that reasonable?
Watching this will become president.
But I think you'll find lessons in leadership that will apply to your life.
Oh, no.
War criminal.
War criminal, war criminal, wife of a war criminal, war criminal.
She bragged that she killed 500,000 kids, that it was worth it to kill a half a million kids.
That's her mindset.
She later apologized for it, but that's revealing that she'd be willing to kill a half a million kids if it got done what she needed.
This guy's on Jepstein's Epstein's Island raping him.
She's calling black kids super predators while on board with Libya.
She cackled and laughed about turning Libya into a failed state with the slave markets.
That's her.
My driver from the airport when I'm in Philly, I guess, a bunch of African drivers lifted stuff, but he was from not Guyana, Ghana.
He's from Ghana.
But he was talking about that Libya.
It's notorious how they screwed up Libya.
Oh, yeah.
He was surprised I knew anything about it.
He's surprised you knew anything about it.
People have no idea how we screwed them.
Here's more back to his back to this video.
That's an amazing Clinton looks great.
Not a war criminal.
I had information that the American people didn't know, and therefore I had to make decisions.
I had information that American people didn't know, you know, like that.
The corporations wanted me to start an illegal war.
That there were no weapons of mass destruction.
Like, I knew there were no weapons of mass destruction, but I still had to make a decision to go to war based on that.
Like, they didn't probably know that Dick Cheney got $30 million from Halliburton to start this war.
I knew that.
$30 million is what Halliburton gave Dick Cheney when he became vice president.
That was a down payment for the Iraq war, and it paid off.
It's for the country on knowledge that wasn't evident.
That's just the nature of leadership.
So long as you're guided by principle, and so long as you're guided by a principle he was guided by was corporate profit and killing Muslim people to get it done.
Well, I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons myself.
That's right.
Cause greater than self.
You can endure criticism because it's going to come.
One of the things I missed after the presidency was this daily learning.
And thankfully, painting came into my life.
It's a learning experience because with every painstroke, you learn something new.
All right, I'm going to do another flow.
Wow.
So isn't it nice that he's had time in his retirement to learn how to paint?
Meanwhile, there's a million people dead who won't get to learn that.
But isn't it pleasure?
Doesn't it give you pleasure to know that he gets to paint all day?
And he's not painting some kind of hardcore like Guerica.
That's right.
He's painting the real mundane.
Yeah, flowers.
The guy Hitler used to paint.
Nice backgrounds and flowers and buildings.
He's not going to paint a picture of that guy being tortured, standing on an apple crate with a thing over his mask over his head.
Imagine if he did, that would be an amazing thing.
Wouldn't that be great?
And electrodes hooked up to every orifice.
Wait, he's not going to paint that, I bet.
He's got what looks like a coffee cup with some flowers.
Yeah, he's got a coffee cup.
There's some flowers.
Isn't that nice?
It's great paintings.
I got that in a Biden, a Hunter Biden, and I'm set for my paintings.
Jesus.
It's important to have a set of priorities that guide you and your team, your company.
What were those priorities that guided George Bush?
Illegal war starting, lying about it, and then ordering war crimes and torture and then covering that up.
And then not helping the people in New Orleans.
What else was it?
What else?
Your managers have got to understand those priorities.
To me, the most important priorities were my faith in my family and my friends.
That may sound corny to some, but it helps you reorganize the rest of your life.
No, it doesn't sound, it doesn't sound corny, George.
It sounds blithely evil in light of your war crimes.
But corny, no.
Hey, you know who else?
Welcome, Darling.
Thanks, great.
Some, but it helps you reorganize the rest of your life.
Welcome, Darling.
Vague is great.
Glad to be here.
Important priorities were my faith in my family and my friends.
That may sound corny to some, but it helps you reorganize the rest of your life.
His faith, Kurt.
His faith got him through tough times and criticism.
Hey, you know who else's faith got him through tough times and criticism?
Osama bin Laden.
He had a lot of faith in family.
He had a lot of faith in family.
Three wives.
And friends.
Yeah, he had family is very important.
Very important.
Welcome, Darling.
Thanks, great.
Glad to be here.
When I was speaking to audiences, I didn't want them to think I was smarter than they were.
I was accused.
Oh.
Oh!
No!
Oh, well, mission accomplished.
Wow.
Mission, because nobody.
You should land on an aircraft carrier with mission accomplished.
Nobody ever thought that.
Nobody ever said, hey, I bet that guy's smarter than me.
No one.
No one ever thought that.
Isn't that funny?
Except Joy Behar, maybe.
I don't even want to think I was as smart as them.
Communication is to figure out how to enable the person you're talking to to relax.
You know, I was a master at the Malaprop.
Mr. Underestimate.
The press corps reaction was, did guy really just say that?
No, he says that as if he meant it.
Yeah, he's really buttons over there.
Like, he's like, look at how I'm playing four-dimensional chess with these news people.
They don't know.
I said, misunderestimate.
No, you fucked up.
And you said something dumb that you stew every five seconds.
And that one just stood out.
How is this different from a Trump University class of saying something stupid and the press goes, oh, like, that's what he just does.
You should tell that to Sam Harris.
Sam Harris is almost, he still has his bush in a nut over Trump University, but apparently this is fantastic to him because Sam Harris is cool with the Iraq war.
Yeah, right.
I remember right after 9-11 in the Oval Office talking about praying for families that had suffered loss.
I broke down in tears.
If your heart is touched, let people know that your heart is touched.
Still didn't get that hope to Louisiana, but I was crying.
Couldn't make it to New Orleans, but to God started.
I was crying.
And then I went and killed a million people.
Then I cried a lot more, if you could imagine.
And I didn't cry at all over that.
By then, I was numb and sick.
Yeah, man.
I went back to my old alcoholic days of not feeling anything.
I just paint.
No, I just paint.
And being a leader, but everybody can end up being a better person.
The challenge of life is not to attain wealth and status and power.
The challenge of life is to get away with war criming.
If you could commit a war crime in public and get away with it, you've got a successful life.
Once you kill enough people, you got nowhere to go but up as a person.
George Bush is the moral superior of no one, and that includes Charlie Manson.
He is the moral superior of no one.
Think of that.
That includes Bundy.
That includes Gacy.
That includes Jeffrey Epstein.
He is the moral superior of no one.
He's below Jeffrey Epstein.
Yeah, but I guess Manson only sent like four 20-somethings to go kill people.
Yeah.
Okay, here we go.
Is to improve and to learn to love better.
Learn to love better.
Because that's what the devil's going to say when he comes here.
When the devil comes back, he's going to be telling you to learn to love better.
That's what he's doing.
I'm George W. Bush.
And this is Masterclass.
So, I mean, how do you ruin the reputation of your company with just a one two-minute promo?
That would be it.
Now, I mean, Masterclass was already a joke.
They had Hillary Clinton do one.
They had the biggest losers in the world.
And then this guy.
What was Hillary's?
She did a masterclass.
I don't know what she again complained about Russia.
How to lose to a guy you set up that everyone thought you could beat and then they got the captain of the 1980 Russia hockey team to do a masterclass too.
Here's the first.
So I went to this video on YouTube at Masterclasses YouTube.
And I just picked the first three comments.
These are the first three.
You want to hear it?
The first three, and then I'll show you the next three.
I didn't have to search for these is my point.
And I know you can't read them, but I'll read it to you.
It says, just goes to show you you don't have to be a good leader to have a masterclass.
That's the first comment.
The second comment was, it's so important to learn how to deal with your critics, not by listening to them and debunking their points, but instead by retreating from actual criticisms and hiding any evidence they ever existed.
Here's the third comment.
If you were born into a trust fund political dynasty, you too can attend an Ivy League school, join the right fraternity, become a raging alcoholic, barely pass, and have a long, successful political career.
Why isn't Hunter Biden president now that I think about it?
Right?
He did all this stuff.
That's exactly right.
I'm pretty sure Joe Biden took this masterclass.
And for the record, Kurt, I would pay for a Hunter Biden masterclass.
Here's some more.
I never weigh my cracks, so that's why I never.
I don't weigh my cracks.
I'd eyeball it.
Should be a masterclass at The Hague.
That's the fourth comment.
Painting came into my life.
Fully expected a button-up shirt on backwards and his fingers in the paint like a little kid.
What a disgrace to the country.
Now watch this drive.
Oh, okay.
I'll show you that.
You want to watch?
This is George Bush's masterclass on leadership.
You ready for this?
Hey, I'm distressed to hear about the latest suicide bombers in Israel.
For those who yearn for peace in the Middle East, for those in the Arab lands, for those in Europe, for those all around the world who yearn for peace, we must do everything we possibly can to stop the terror.
There are a few killers who want to stop the peace process that we have started.
And we must not let them.
For the sake of humanity, for the sake of the Palestinians who suffer, for the sake of the Israelis who are under attack, we must stop the terror.
I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers.
Thank you.
Now watch this drive.
Kabala Harris could take that class.
Do you remember this when he said that?
Now, watch this drive.
How is the drive?
All right.
Our new speaker.
trying to be talk at him.
See you at church.
See you at church.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That guy's teaching a masterclass.
Hey, is it a masterclass on how to look like an overprivileged, underqualified asshole who's completely out of touch?
He didn't even know that that was stupid to do and say, and neither did his father.
Why would you need a class?
Would you just be born knowing how to be like that?
Right?
I call on all nations to do all we can to stop terror, except except for stopping the creation of new terrorists with our perpetual wars of choice.
But everything else.
Except for that.
You know, except for our imperialistic wars of aggression that killed millions of people.
We shouldn't stop that.
Well, we won't have any terrorists to fight.
That's right.
Trump is.
Here's Margaret Kimberly.
She says, Trump is an amateur whose supporters rioted in the Capitol.
But George W. Bush actually stole an election.
He has also killed one million Iraqis.
I wonder if you're allowed to say that on YouTube.
If you're allowed to say George Bush stole the 2000 election.
I wonder if that.
I guess it depends if the algorithm is triggered by saying stole an election and not the dates.
Not the dates.
By the way, did you notice this?
The Daily Beast, that shit rag of all liberal shit rags, which is, I think, the Clintons, Chelsea Clinton, sits on the board of this.
George W. Bush gives a moment-by-moment breakdown of 9-11 in his new masterclass course, and it says authentic leadership.
I hope he reads the goat book during it.
Oh, we should have had the video of him being told the night that Twin Towers just got hit.
And he just kept reading.
Not only are they doing a puff piece on this, and who's doing it?
Mia Maguire.
She's the commerce editor.
Great job, Mia.
I bet you thought about this when you were in journalism school.
What's a commerce editor?
She's a commerce editor.
So is that she does articles that are advertisements for that's what that means, right?
I think so.
But because in this article, they're promoting this.
So that's what this must mean.
So this must mean this isn't really journalism, which we didn't need you to tell us.
At least they put authentic leadership in quotes.
Quotes.
Yeah.
Well, this was in the article.
And it gives you shop at Masterclass.
So it tells you.
So it's an ad.
So this basically is the Daily Beast doing an ad disguised as a news article for George Bush.
How is paying for that any worse than Trump University?
How is that?
Is it less expensive?
Is that why it's better?
I took George W. Bush's masterclass on leadership, and now I too cannot lead.
I can no longer paint either.
I worked at Mass.
Oh, so this guy says, this guy claims this.
I can't vouch for this, but I thought it was interesting.
I saw it on Twitter, so I'm going to share it with you.
I don't have any reason to believe it's not true.
He says, I worked at Masterclass earlier this year.
This is the stuff they wasted their money on, and then laid off 30 to 40% of their workers, at least half of which were post-production workers, editors, assistant editors, producers.
I remember a number of people refusing to work on this.
And then there's this thread.
Last I heard, they were planning on targeting a more right-wing audience.
Can't wait for Jordan Peterson and Bitcoin classes.
No, I don't think Bitcoin is a right-wing thing.
That's a mistake there.
Well, that's funny because I don't think right-wingers are that keen on George W. Bush anymore, actually.
Unless they're like the establishment Republican right-wing for sure.
You're not taking Masterclass, right?
I'm just like, who's it for?
Who's the Hillary Clinton masterclass for?
I mean, who the fuck is any of this for?
Who's going to take that?
You got to be dumber than George Bush to want to take that.
If they're laying people off, that means probably not a lot of people have been enjoying these masterclasses.
That's right.
Not a lot of people.
Masterclass hired some hatchet consultant guy as the CCO.
What does CCO stand for?
I don't even know.
Can you look up what CCO stands for?
To basically, that's the chief something officer, chief commerce officer, to basically come in and say, oh, I know a great way to make this company profitable.
Let's fire everyone.
And thank you very much.
Enjoy the house in Beverly Hills.
You earned with that brilliant insight.
The CEO pulled one of these on Zoom.
So this is the CEO when he fired everybody.
That's for Masterclass?
This is what this guy is saying.
Wow.
Chief customer officer.
CCO, I have.
So this guy, his thing says CEO of Hypersocial, CEO of Hypersphere, five-time college dropout.
So the CEO pulled one of these on Zoom.
So is that the CEO?
It owns the other stuff?
I don't know.
That's confusing.
But anyway, chief commercial officer or chief customer officer or two CCOs.
Very close.
So do you remember this?
This guy's teaching a masterclass.
He should teach the only masterclass George Bush should teach is a masterclass in how to be masterly out of touch.
Watch what he thinks is a good thing.
Watch this.
I mean, we are living longer and people are working longer.
And the truth of the matter is, elderly baby boomers have got a lot to offer to our society.
We shouldn't think about giving up our responsibilities and society.
Isn't that right?
That's right.
Yeah.
But nevertheless, there's a certain comfort to know that the promises made will be kept by the government.
Yes.
And so thank you for asking that.
So he's telling her we're going to keep the promise of Social Security.
Watch what she says back.
I'll have to worry.
That's good because I work three jobs and I feel like I contribute.
He works three jobs.
Three jobs.
Uniquely American, isn't it?
That is fantastic that you're doing that.
That is uniquely American.
That was an old joke on In Living Color.
Remember the hardworking Jamaican family and they all had three jobs.
I got to go to work.
Come on.
Remember that?
Oh, no.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Uniquely American.
That used to be a joke.
Wow.
And then he just said it.
He said it like it's a good thing that this senior citizen has to work three jobs.
Isn't that uniquely American?
Isn't That fantastic, he said.
Do you ever work three jobs, George?
You never worked one job, George.
He never had to work one job.
So that's your masterclass, George Bush.
I just wanted to share that with you.
And it's official masterclass is dumber than TEDx, and that's hard to pull up.
That's pretty hard to pull TEDx's.
Congratulations.
And that's all because he hates Donald Trump.
That's all this is.
He probably doesn't even hate him.
But no, he just said it.
He doesn't hate him.
You're right.
He doesn't hate Donald Trump.
Dope doesn't even hate anybody.
Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcompedy.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business, and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
This is pretty interesting.
We've talked about that people need to organize along class lines and forget it's not a left-right issue anymore.
It is not lefties against righties.
It isn't.
Even though everybody at the corporate media, like the Young Turks, The Intercept, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, they all want you to think these are left-right issues.
They're not.
Ending the war, not a left-right issue.
Living wage, not a left-right issue.
Healthcare, not a left-right issue.
Wall Street, not a censorship.
All these are not left-right issues.
These are us against them.
And that's what they're afraid of realizing.
So when you go to a live Jimmy Door show, what's happening in that room is what scares the shit out of the establishment.
People on the left, people on the right, people in the middle, black, white, old, young, religious, atheists, all coming together to realize we have a common enemy.
And that enemy is the oligarchy that did a controlled demolition of our economy over the last two years while enriching them and having us hate each other over a vaccine that didn't work this way they said it did.
And I'm not going to do that.
And so guess what?
Somebody went and talked to a Trumper.
A socialist, communist, went and talked to a Trumper.
And friend of the show, Jay from the Revolutionally Blackout Network, he said, proof that when you talk about issues from a layman's perspective, people will agree with you even if, even if they claim to be conservative because it's a class issue.
Many of us should take a lesson from this.
Thanks to SLC Socialists for showing me this.
So let's watch this.
So here's a guy who's a socialist going to talk to a Trumper conservative and watch how he doesn't hate them.
Watch how he finds ways that they're alike, that they can work together on in agreement.
And this is what scares the shit out of them.
And you watch how they're trying to shit on this because of it.
Why?
That's like when I interviewed a Boogaloo boy.
They all freaked out.
We can't be weak.
Yes, we can.
And watch this.
In order to stop the communist agenda, we need to get rid of the big banks.
Right.
Karl Marx.
No one knew who he was until the big banks distributed all of his literature.
Right.
Right.
So in order to get rid of communism, we need to get rid of the big banks.
Yeah.
Get rid of big pharma.
Right.
What else?
Big tech.
Big tech.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's like.
So this guy, he gets that there are a handful of oligarchs that have way too much control and power in our culture and society.
They get that.
Okay.
Just like we do.
Land, land, like these like landlords that like are coming in and buying like hundreds of properties.
You don't even know.
Right.
Like China is doing it.
Bill Gates.
It's yellow.
Yeah.
I feel like.
So he gets that.
He gets.
He's not a complete free market guy.
No, that's.
He gets that.
There's nefarious, powerful, well-moneyed forces that are wrecking our home market in the United States.
And we should do something about it.
We do too.
But people here are very fed up and they're ready to collectivize and sort of seize the means of production.
So he's saying to this guy, a Marxist idea that the workers should seize the means of productions, workers at companies and corporations, instead of just being hourly employees, they should actually own the business.
So they have now owned the means of production and it's not owned by one capitalist oligarch who can pick up his company and move it to another country, devastating the city it was in and then exploiting even more desperate people in another desperate situation.
like, say, in Mexico or Thailand or wherever Bangladesh.
And so he's saying, well, shouldn't the workers collectivize and then own the company?
Watch what this guy says back.
Which is this, by the way, that's what Dr. Richard Wolff says on this show all the time.
What's what he says?
Yeah, right.
I mean, that's why I support unions so much.
Well, I. So this guy says, that's why I support unions.
And you could see he's that unions.
I've always had a reflex to not like unions.
But watch what he does say.
It's funny.
I work.
I work for a.
Actually, now this year at the other show, I had an earlier for company not too far from here called Liberty Pump.
Non-union.
They let the company.
The owners of the company sold the company.
A third of the company to the employees.
So the employees have ownership of it.
That's exactly what that.
But Mark says the work.
So he's saying that's a great thing.
He goes, I work for this company, some pump company.
It's a non-union company.
People love the company.
And the owners sold a third of the company to them.
So now they're owners in it.
So now they get a decision making.
Role at the company, the workers, and he sees that as a positive.
Now, most right winger, most people, corporate, corporate Democrats, Republicans, all of them, establishment, will tell you that's horrible.
That's communism.
He's saying, no, that's empowering the workers.
That's what this Trumper is saying to a communist.
They're agreeing.
And if you don't think this makes the establishment shit their pants, you've been watching too much corporate news.
Because it does.
Here we go.
Just a lot better.
Well, they're collectivized.
So it's a lot better.
He's saying now the ownership of the company is in the hands of the workers, which is a lot better.
Let me back it up.
Yeah.
Right.
I mean, that's why I support unions so much.
Well, I it's funny.
I work, I work for a, I work for a, I work for a, I work for a, I work for a company not too far from here called Liberty Pump, non-union.
They let the company, the owners of the company sold the, a third of the company to the employees.
So the employees have ownership of it, which is a lot better.
Well, they're collectivizing.
It's an ESOP.
Yeah.
The workers own that.
It's an ESOP.
It's an ESOP.
I never heard that term before.
Can you look it up?
ESOP?
What that means?
E-SOP?
ESOP?
Is that like how they do in Germany, Connor?
esop yeah with the the oh this one the union the unions are on the board of directors or they have they sit on the board in germany did you find out what it is is an employee benefit plan that enables employees to own part or all of the company they work for.
There it is.
That's an Aesop.
Here we go.
Their families work there.
Their dad, their sons work there.
And that's typically where America started.
A lot of families did that.
Do you see how that's a little bit more productive than calling this guy who obviously is of good faith, calling him all kinds of names?
Do you see how this will be more productive?
But the establishment, the Democrats and the corporate media, which they want you to hate this guy.
And they want that guy to hate you.
And they want us to keep hating each other so they can keep the status quo.
And that's what keeps the status quo.
And who likes the status quo?
The establishment, the corporations, military industrial complex and Wall Street.
They love the status quo.
And that's what us hating him and him hating us and us fighting amongst each other, that's what enables the status quo.
We got to overturn the status quo.
And this was a great job.
So this is how I convert my Uber drivers from the Midwest and South on my work trips.
Find a common frustration and get them to understand that it's a class war.
And they don't want you to know that it's a class war.
The squad doesn't ever talk about a class wall, a class war.
Which politicians talk about a class war?
They want a race war before a class war.
They want a race war before a class war.
Does Bernie Sanders even talk about a class war anymore?
Does he even bring it up?
Does he even mention millionaires and billionaires?
Because 60 of them donated to Joe Biden, his good friend, who he now carries water for on 24-7.
He's abandoned you if you haven't noticed.
He used to say millionaires and billionaires, and then he made those millions, so he just says billionaires.
Now he just said billionaires.
This is how we know that it's the propaganda that's divided us.
The ideas themselves are popular, even with people who hate communism.
So it shows they don't actually hate communism.
They hate what capitalists told them communism is, which is usually just capitalism.
The populist left and right see a lot of the same problems.
The issue comes in with the left's obsession with identity politics and pushing for policies that empower the very establishment they claim to be against.
Same can be said for the right.
So I think that was amazing.
And thanks to Jay for posting that.
I don't even know who that guy is who did it.
I don't know who this guy is.
SLC socialists.
So this is the guy who showed it to him.
So I don't know if that's that guy.
Oh, was it?
So down there it says, I can't even read.
It's blurry.
Let's see.
Maybe if I go like this.
In order to.
No, I'm sorry.
Can you read that?
I can't.
Walter Masterson?
Walter Masterson.
All right.
Well, great job, Walter Masterson.
That was fantastic.
More of that.
Less of the, they take everything.
Even when the right wing came around to hating the FBI, left-wingers like Nina Turner and the Young Turks L go, fuck you, right-wing.
You can't hate the FBI.
That's what we did.
They're so stupid.
Well, if you just got into the establishment, you don't want to ruin it now.
Somebody made a really funny, it's on YouTube.
It's supposed to be like a stars knockoff where they take over the Death Star.
Like now we can destroy it.
And then they're like, well, we don't got to destroy it just yet.
It's pretty nice.
We just paid it.
That summed it up.
That is.
Hey, everybody who thinks Joe Biden gives a shit about you.
This is when they ask you to donate.
This is what's on the Biden-Harris when they're running.
Forgive all undergraduate tuition-related federal student debt.
That's what they promised us.
They were going to forgive all undergraduate tuition-related federal student debt from two- and four-year public colleges and universities and private HBCUs and MSIs for debt holders earning up to $125,000.
So if you had debt from tuition in college and you made less than $125,000 a year, Biden promised he was going to eliminate your student loan debt.
That mark stalled.
Biden's going to only cancel 10 to 20 grand.
So he's not doing that.
I think the average is like $100,000 that someone has.
Well, let's watch.
White House officials are planning to cancel up to $20,000 in student debt for recipients of Pell Grants as part of their broader announcement on Wednesday of student debt forgiveness for people, for people familiar with the matter said.
Well, good thing I dropped out of school because I think that'll just about cover it.
The extra debt forgiveness for Pell recipients would be in addition to the expected cancellation of up to 10 grand in student debt for most other borrowers.
So they're going to cancel 10 grand.
The White House's plans are only expected to apply to Americans earning under $125,000 a year or $250,000 per year for married couples who file taxes jointly.
What is in it for them to not cancel everybody's debt?
I don't rich people, they go, well, you don't want to cancel rich people.
Rich people don't have debt.
That's why they're fucking rich.
Moral hazard, I was told.
Roughly 43 million federal student loan borrowers would be eligible for some level of forgiveness, including 20 million people who could have their debt completely canceled, according to internal documents shared with the Post.
The president is also expected to announce that he will extend a pandemic era pause on federal student loan payments that was first implemented under Trumpy.
That moratorium will now be extended until December 31st or right after the Democrats get their ass kicked in the midterms.
The announcement would put to rest months of deliberation over whether Biden would use his executive authority to forgive portions of the federal students.
It arrives ahead of congressional midterm elections, no kidding.
And it could give the Democrats a boost with some voters, but also threatens their standing with those who say the amount is not enough or too much.
Between that and my hatred of Trump, it should be just enough.
Biden has drawn the ire of activists and some student loan borrowers who are growing tired of promises of a decision that stretched over more than a year.
Biden had previously expressed reluctance to grant forgiveness to people who attended elite universities, while moderate Democrats and Republicans derided the policy as fiscally irresponsible.
I mean, you shouldn't even be allowed to say that word after the Ukraine story.
You shouldn't even be allowed to use that word.
The same people who say this is fiscally irresponsible are for giving that money to Ukraine, just so you know.
The decision to add additional forgiveness, who cares?
Seven in 10 college graduates with federal loans also received a Pell Grant.
Didn't know that.
And Pell recipients have, on average, an additional $4,500 more debt than other college graduates, according to the, did you know that?
I didn't know that.
The White House's decision rejects the warnings of centrist Democrat economists such as Larry Summers, the former Secretary of Treasury, who have said it will increase inflation and it's going to add to the federal deficit.
But that $5 trillion we gave you and your friends, that was okay.
That didn't add to the deficit.
He also said doing the Ukraine thing was going to do that and suck it up.
Yes, that's right.
Oh, by the way, Larry Summers is the dumbest guy in the world, even though people still take his advice on financial stuff.
He's the biggest failure financially in the world, and people still listen to him.
He lost Harvard a billion dollars.
He lost Harvard a billion dollars.
I do like that about him.
Summers made Harvard take a big bet on the future path of interest rates that ended up losing the university a billion dollars.
Wow.
No wonder he was at Tony Robbins' birthday.
Yeah.
You can do it, Larry.
So Republican lawmakers are also expected to blast the White House over the move, arguing it offers unnecessary subsidies to Americans who made bad decisions while doing nothing for those who did not go to college.
So going to college is a bad decision, according to some of those people.
Here's Ayana Presley.
She says President Joe Biden just canceled student debt.
No, he didn't.
Oh, my God.
No, he didn't, you liar.
Not even asterisk with a fine person.
Nothing.
Wow.
To every organizer who fought so hard, this victory is yours.
It's not really a victory.
This is going to change and save lives.
You guys are such bullshitters.
I was $10,000 short on an operation I need.
Here's what Sabby Sab says.
She says he canceled $10,000 for borrowers making under $125,000.
A means-tested bowl of crumbs.
Stop it.
Canceling only $10,000 is a slap in millions of faces.
It acknowledges the problem, but it doesn't address it.
It's the middle finger to 45 million people.
That's what Joe Biden's doing.
This is their big strategy to get votes.
Yep.
I think it was a 10K off and here's a free coupon to Wendy's Street.
David Sirota, friend of the show, he makes it in to today's show.
He says the average PPP loan.
You remember the PPPs?
That was if you owned a business during COVID, you could apply for a loan to get you through COVID.
And then they forgave all those loans.
So there was just free money.
It said the average PPP loan to business was $109,000 and it was forgiven with zero controversy.
Biden is now forgiving $20,000 of student loans, and the PPP is cool crowd is pretending it's a scandal.
So he's pointing out that the people who got the PPP loans are bitching about the people getting student loan debt forgiveness.
Isn't that crazy?
Yes, it is.
PPP loans were forgiven because rich people benefited from them.
Student loans will not be forgiven because rich people don't have any of those loans.
Yeah, don't go to school unless you're rich.
We don't want you in the levers of power and what have you.
So there's no point in you going.
Millionaires, anyway.
As Biden announced his plan for some student debt relief, let's all thank Nancy Pelosi for her leadership.
Her leadership was she told people, I don't have the authority to do this.
That was her leadership.
This victory is yours.
Pelosi said, Biden can't do anything.
That's what Pelosi said.
Look, the speaker's remarks go as progressive members in the House call on the president to use his executive power to cancel up to 50,000 in student loan debt for 40 million bars.
Well, I think that's back when we thought the January 6th hearing were going to be a bigger show.
Yeah.
10 grand for student loans, 20 grand if that student received a Pell Grant.
It's a token that will piss people off across the entire political spectrum, accepting people who believe compromise is evidence of merit.
Yeah, me and my hero Joe Manchin.
That's right.
The student loan system exists because the baby boom generation didn't want to pay the taxes that helped put it through college at vastly subsidized tuition, but still expected younger generations to get all the same education.
Result, generations of white-collar debt peonage.
Finally.
What's that?
Watch your mouth.
Watch your mouth.
Brianna Joy Gray tweeted this out in 2019.
If we had canceled all student debt in 2016, we would have shrunk the racial wealth gap between young, white, and black households between 25 and 40 years old from 12 to 1 to 5 to 1.
That's a pretty big deal.
Hey, where would you get that money to do that?
Where are you going to get that money?
You think money just grows on trees?
So this is how they would do that.
This was Bernie Sanders' plan to put a tax on transact, a transaction tax on Wall Street, and it would finance that.
That's how you do it.
Without the burden of...
Without the burden of student loan debt, people seek higher-paying careers, stabilize their finances, and contribute to the economy.
So according to Harvard Business School, canceling student loan debt is good for everybody because everybody lives inside the economy and it's good for the economy.
Did they have a study on lowering crazy college tuitions, by the way, in Harvard Business School?
So there you go.
It's actually so to all the people who think this is bad, Harvard Business School disagrees with you.
*phone rings* Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, this is Jake Camper.
Oh, hi, Jake.
From the lead with Jake Camper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know.
My very own show on CNN that I am thrilled to have the honor of hosting.
Yes.
Greatest honor of my life.
In case anyone from CNN is listening right now.
I doubt anybody from CNN listens to my show, Jake.
No, I meant listening devices installed in my office.
All right.
Of course.
Your colleague, Brian Stelter, was recently fired from CNN and had his show canceled.
What do you think about that?
You know.
No, I don't.
I mean, you don't have to have an opinion on like everything.
A colleague getting fired?
You don't have an opinion on that.
Why are you doing this to me?
I'm just curious.
Fine.
It is with great sadness that I say goodbye to my friend and colleague, Brian Stelter.
Although his absence will be sorely felt here at CNN, I'm confident that the future holds nothing but success as he continues his crusade to uphold accuracy and integrity in journalism.
Hey, I didn't ask you for a prepared statement.
What I asked for.
I'm not finished.
Oh.
Brian was always a good boy.
Yes.
Perhaps the bestest little good boy in the world.
He always finished his vegetables.
He loved getting his belly rubbed and never asked for a lolly, but got one when he was especially good.
He never complained when we had to remove his little propeller beanie right before he went on air.
I see.
Some tough decisions are being made at CNN.
I understand their position.
Although I will be sad to see reliable sources go, I know that CNN will maintain their mission to be the number one most trustworthiest channel on cable news.
So you're not mad at them.
Goodness, no.
Why would I be?
You aren't worried that you're going to be next?
Why?
What have you heard?
Nothing, Jake.
I just.
Oh, okay.
Thank God.
I mean, no, of course, I have no reason to think that.
My show is different than reliable sources.
His mission to fact-check other journalists just wasn't seen as necessary to the network anymore.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Brian Stelter was no more of a reliable source than anyone else at CNN.
Yeah, that's what's weird about it.
He wasn't even doing a good job.
Like, he just seemed like a little kid playing in the sandbox.
I mean, if he were really speaking truth to power or shit like that, well, yeah, I could see why they'd have canned him, but that show, come on.
So you're a little nervous then.
I see it as more of a warning.
How so?
This new guy in charge, licked.
He doesn't want us to be as anti-Trump anymore.
So as long as we conform and become less opinion-based, I think we should be fine.
But isn't that your bread and butter focusing on Donald Trump?
You gleefully covered him, overcovered him in 2016, giving him free press.
That only helped his campaign.
Then, once elected, you dedicated your entire network to every kooky Russian hoax that came along.
Without Trump, what is CNN anymore?
I guess we're about to find out.
I guess so, Jake.
Who knows?
Maybe it could be a good thing.
Fun, even.
They want fewer liberal punts on and more conservatives.
I can handle that.
I've been lobbying softball questions at GOP talking heads for years now.
I don't even need to warm up my pitching arm.
I can send those puppies right down the middle with my eyes closed.
Glad you have the ability to adapt, Jake.
You know, that really is so true.
It's what it's about.
You have to adapt.
I made for it.
I'm lucky.
Now, if they go to Don Lemon and ask him to stop making his first two segments, look at what this bad white person did instead of actually what happened in Washington that day.
I don't know what the fuck he's going to do.
Right.
Now that we're being honest, I do want to say I really will miss Brian.
I really liked him.
Well, that's sweet.
He'd run around the halls, giggling all the time.
Just a really fun energy.
Loved getting tickled.
He'd excitedly show us pictures of his baby, his new baby, and also of the man that had to impregnate his wife for him.
He'd say, who do you think my baby looks more like, me or the other daddy?
He didn't really understand how things work, but his heart was definitely in the right place.
I'm sure it was.
Anyway, I got to go work on tonight's segments.
This is going to get real tricky real quick.
$10,000 in debt relief.
I don't want to praise Biden.
That could be seen as anti-Trump by default, I suppose.
But I don't want to criticize him by saying it doesn't go far enough because that could be seen as too progressive, thereby alienating Trump supporters.
How about you just have a Republican and a Democrat pundit on and they debate each other while you never really report any of the facts?
Oh my God, Jimmy, you're a genius.
I love this approach.
Oh, thanks, Jimmy.
This is really going to work.
Wait till the suits get a load of this novel approach.
Facts first.
More like hacks first.
Go, go.
Go, go.
Hey, become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
▲
Export Selection